#I use the word loosely too

[thefollows]

Something I probably watched in high school

[ropes3amthoughts]

Kabru Joins Laios’ Party

Description: What if Kabru was able to join Laios’ party. That’s it that’s the whole fic. I just like putting Kabru in situations.

Relationships: Laios & Kabru, Laios & His Party, Kabru and Laios’ Party, Kabru & Rin

Words: 9,637

Chapters: 1/? (Probably never gonna be finished)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing? Trauma? Drinking? I don’t really think there’s anything like big that needs a warning but if you guys think I should add one I can

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergent, Takes place Pre-Canon, Dungeoning? Idfk, Kabru being a little freak /affectionate, Eating monsters (sort of), Kabru suffers more than Jesus, Friendship, Kabru being a fake ass bitch, Kabru and Laios are like the main guys but the other party members are there too, By other party members I mean the ones from pre-canon, Very brief appearance from Rin, Author does not know anything about alcohol or cooking or much of anything in general really, Wait now that I think about it should drinking be a tag because there is a scene with drinking even tho it’s like small drinks and nobody gets drunk, man idrk what to say about this like read it if you want to and if you don’t then don’t, I have never posted fanfic before, No Beta

A/N: I don’t have AO3 so that’s why I just formatted this like AO3 but on here. I am not much of an author lol so please do not have high standards for this at all. I planned for this to be like five chapters but it was really hard to write just this one so I don’t know if I’ll write the others. This is written kind of awkward but hey it’s just for fun and posting something is better than nothing or whatever the saying is. Anyways, fic under cut.

Kabru’s sole purpose in life was to prevent anything like the Utaya tragedy from happening again. He was lucky enough to have been spared, he would never make the mistake of taking that for granted. He would always feel indebted to whatever force decided that Kabru, the outcast kid with monster eyes, who only caused others trouble, was worth saving when everyone else had been slaughtered mercilessly.

The only way to be worthy of this life was to spend it saving others, doing something now when he did nothing then. After all, what would be the point of his survival if he did not use his dedicate himself, his knowledge, his life to preventing an incident like Utaya from ever happening again? That incident that took his world, shredded it into little pieces, and left him behind, let him live when he didn’t deserve life. It’s not something he’d wish on anyone else, it’s something he could not let happen to anyone else.

He’s on the right track now though. He had situated himself on an island off the shores of Kahka Brud. It was a cursed island with a growing dungeon and a Mad Mage responsible for it all. Kabru was going to be the island’s savior, defeat the Mad Mage, lift the curse, seal away the dungeon and its monsters, and prevent a tragedy from unfolding again. He was going to protect people. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he failed.

He also couldn’t just let anyone else do this, since whoever defeats the Mad Mage would become king, and a selfish, uncaring, immoral ruler, or the elves taking power, would not work in the interest of the people. Those types of people didn’t know what they were doing. They didn’t understand the short lived races, they wouldn’t make the right decisions, they had no good intentions. Only a certain type of person would be fit to rule. That person was certainly not Kabru, but with the way things were going, he might have to step up or else the wrong person would.

Kabru wasn’t stupid, he knew he needed a strong, well rounded party to even be able to descend into the dungeon to find the Mage. There were plenty of strong parties, but finding a party to join, however, was difficult. Not only were these groups tight knit and hard to get into, there was the larger issue at hand, that these parties were greedy, corrupt, and morally bankrupt. Kabru had no intention of working with a filthy party, he was only willing to work with someone who was committed to killing monsters and dispelling the curse over the dungeon.

Kabru follows many leads, but every single of the parties he observes is unforgivably corrupt in one way or another. With the constant failures over the past year, he’s been considering giving up on finding a party and instead making one of his own. He hasn’t given up yet, however, since he’s been hearing interesting rumors as of late; rumors about a selfless party, the Touden party.

The Touden party consists of six members: Laios and Falin Touden, the leaders of the party, Shuro, an Eastern man, Namari, a dwarf warrior, Marcille, an elf mage, and a halfling, Chilchuck. Kabru has heard many rumors of them and personally observed them himself. From what he’s heard and seen, he, frustratingly, can’t come to a conclusion about the party.

It’s difficult to figure out because he sees good things, like the the Touden party compensate past party members, but then he also sees those past party members use the money to fuel the black market. He hears that the Touden party has done great things in return for nothing, but he also hears that they’ve made things worse for others. He can’t get a definitive answer, at least, not from being a mere observer. He needs to talk to them directly.

It is the Touden party, but, from what he’s heard, Laios Touden is the main leader. He’s the one calling the shots. If he conquered the dungeon, he would be king. Is he someone Kabru could trust with that responsibility? Is he someone Kabru would want to assist or someone Kabru needs to take care of?

Kabru really has no idea. He just needs a window to talk to him. The Touden party is often seen around town and frequenting bars before and after heading into the dungeon. Before they go on their next dungeon expedition, that’s when he’ll talk to him. That’s when he’ll get his answer.

That’s what Kabru had foolishly thought, anyways. To his shock, Laios had payed him no mind, no matter what he did. Kabru could ask to talk to him directly, he could sit next to him, he could steal Laios’ gold and pretend other man had dropped it, he could pretend to accidentally bump onto him, he could ask for directions, he could bat his eyelashes and flirt with him, he could say he recognized him from somewhere, he could offer to buy him something, he could say he needed help, and none of it would work.

Every time, Laios would simply brush him off, ignore him entirely, or tell him he’s busy. Nothing got a reaction out of Laios, he was simply uninterested in Kabru, no matter what he said or what persona he put on. At first, Kabru wondered if Laios was egotistical and he thought he was too good to be talking to people like Kabru, but he saw Laios talk to a handful of other people who Kabru himself didn’t even know. Maybe Laios really just didn’t want to talk to Kabru and only Kabru. If that’s the case, why?

When he tells Rin about his poor luck with the Touden party, she goes on an angry rant about how Laios should respect him more. She tells him that he’s a great person and Laios should consider himself lucky to even talk to him. Kabru is amused by her outburst, but he thanks her nonetheless. She promises they could make a party of their own if things don’t work out. He says he’ll try a bit longer, but if not, he’ll take her up on it.

He has been trying for a while now. It’s been months since he started investigating the rumors, a little over a month since his initial attempt at conversing with Laios, and a week and a half since his conversation with Rin. He’s had no luck getting Laios’ attention and it has been far too long. Kabru can’t give up though. Laios is a promising lead, the only one he’s had actually.

He’s sitting in the bar again today, eyeing Laios and thinking of how he could approach him. Laios is with his party right now, so Kabru would have to wait until they’re separated. He thinks he’s in luck when Falin starts to get up, but none of the others move.

He sighs, but then the realization starts to set in. Falin, Falin Touden, has gotten up and is sitting at the bar counter by herself. Falin Touden from the Touden party is all by herself and could easily be talked to.

Kabru is struck with an idea. Laios may be the leader, but Falin is also a Touden, so there’s a chance she holds power over the party too. And here she is, all by herself, with empty seats beside her. If he couldn’t get anything out of Laios, maybe he could get it from Falin.

Kabru takes a seat next to her as casually as he possibly can and orders something. While the bartender is working, he looks over to her naturally, as if he were simply looking around at his surroundings. She picks up her glass, sips at her drink, makes a little mmm sound, and turns as if she is going to stand up and leave.

“What did you get?” He asks her, thinking maybe small talk would work on her when it failed with her brother. Falin jumps when he speaks to her, and then turns to look at him.

“Oh. Uhm. I got the uh…bourbon.” She says quietly and awkwardly, but she speaks to him! She listened to him and responded to what he said! This is way more progress than he made with Laios, but he doesn’t know if she’ll continue to talk to him. Kabru tries not to get his hopes up too high, but he at least hopes talking to her will make her stay at the counter with him for a minute or so and he can get even a little info.

“Is that one good?” He asks nonchalantly.

“Y-yeah. I uh like it.” She stutters, fiddling with her glass and looking away from Kabru. The bartender hands him his drink and a silence starts to fill the air. Kabru takes a sip of his own drink and thinks how he can keep this conversation going.

“Oh! I had a feeling I knew you from somewhere! You’re Falin, from the Touden party!” Kabru exclaims as if he had suddenly come to the realization and not intentionally approached her for this reason. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kabru.”

“Nice to meet you too.” She says meekly.

“I’ve heard a lot about you and your party. Good things of course. How’s adventuring going?” He looks to her

“It’s good.” She says, taking a sip from her drink.

“That’s nice.” He smiles, then takes a sip from his drink. “Hey, your party wouldn’t happen to need any help, does it?” He asks as if he had randomly thought of it while drinking. It did come up in his mind while he was drinking, but truthfully he had considered joining the party to gather information for some time. While he was unsure of whether or not he wanted to join the party for good, it could be a good way to figure things out.

“Uhhhh no? I don’t think so?” She answers.

“Well, if you do, I could always lend a hand. I’m proficient with a variety of weapons and I have experience with dungeons.” He says trying to sound casual. He doesn’t want to give her the impression that he’s full of himself.

“That sounds useful, but I’d have to ask the others.” She tells him. She takes a big sip of her drink to finish the last of it, sets the glass down gently, and stands up.

“Alright then. Good luck with adventuring.” He tells her. He gives her a smile and she awkwardly waves goodbye to him before returning to her table. He does his best to watch the party indiscreetly as he finishes his own drink.

When Falin sits down, everybody’s eyes are on her.

“Oh, there you are, Falin!” Laios greets her, breaking the awkward silence. “You were taking a while.”

“I didn’t mean to.” She says apologetically.

“Who was that guy?” Marcille interrogates her, leaning in close.

“I don’t really know.” Falin answers truthfully.

“Really? Why was he talking to you so much then? What were you guys talking about?” Marcille continues to press, she’s always been rather nosy.

“Have you never seen someone get hit on in a bar before? It’s pretty obvious that’s what was happening.” Chilchuck speaks up.

“No way! Falin wouldn’t have stuck around if he was flirting with her!” Marcille starts bickering with Chilchuck.

“Was that guy really flirting with you?” Shuro asks.

Laios hasn’t said anything about the guy, but he’s looking at her curiously. She looks around at the party. Marcille has shushed Chilchuck and is looking at Falin expectantly. Chilchuck just grumbles and returns to his drink. Namari isn’t interested in the drama either, so she’s also focused on her drink. Shuro has an odd expression on himself. It’s like everyone, minus Namari and Chilchuck, wants to know.

“I don’t think so.” She answers.

“What was he saying to you?” The elf asks.

“What did you say?” Shuro asks before Falin is able to respond to Marcille.

“Uh, well, he wanted to join the party? I told him I’d ask you guys.” Everybody all looks over to the guy who wants to join the party after she says it, sizing him up.

“He doesn’t look very strong.” Namari remarks.

“I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before.” Chilchuck says, making a contemplative face as if he was trying really hard to remember where he’s seen him.

“I think I do too.” Shuro states.

“Really? I don’t recognize him at all.” Laios says.

“Why does he even want to join?” Marcille asks bitterly.

“Uh, he said something like he heard of us?” The short haired mage replies.

“That’s a stupid reason. Tell him no.” The blonde huffs.

“I can’t do that. He seemed like he really wanted to join, I’d feel bad if I said no.” Falin admits.

“Ugh. I’ll tell him then.” Marcille stands up and walks over to him.

“Wait!” Falin follows after her.

The others have started to get up too now because they’re curious and/or their drinks are finished.

Kabru, meanwhile, is frantically planning out what to say to everyone. He’s never gotten this far so he has to make sure he says all the right things. He composes himself and pretends as if he doesn’t notice the party walking up to him.

“Hey! You!” The elf, Marcille, confronts him. He turns around on the stool to look at her. “Whatever your name is!”

“My name is Kabru.” He introduces himself with a polite smile. He hopes maybe that will help him because Marcille sounds pissed. He hopes he didn’t leave a bad impression on Falin that consequently warped the party’s perception of him.

“Ok, Kabru.” She says a little flustered, much to Kabru’s relief. “Well, we were all talking and no, you can’t join our party, so leave Falin alone.”

“Uh, she doesn’t mean that?” Falin says squeakily.

“I do mean that.”

“Marcilleeeee, he seems nice.”

“Kabru.” The halfling takes the chance to talk to him while the two girls are distracted with talking to each other. “Why do you want to join our party?”

“Your party is renowned for its strength. I admire you all, I want to help you.” He says it sincerely, although he doesn’t quite mean those words. “I already have my own gear. I know some basic spells too, so you wouldn’t have to worry about using mana on me. Additionally, I’ve been to the dungeon before, I know how to handle myself. I think I could be a valuable member of your party, if you’d be willing to have me.” He says, hoping he sounds convincing.

“Well, it’s Laios’ decision.” Chilchuck shrugs.

“Wait, we should talk about this first!” Marcille squeaks. The party gathers in a vaguely circle shape, not at all far away from him, and whispers about him. He hears only bits of it, like “…wouldn’t be efficient,” “I don’t care,” “…bigger party is better, right?”, “Do you see him? He…”, “…maybe he…”

After about a minute, the party separates from the circle.

“We’re going to delve into the dungeon. We’re going to fight a dragon on the seventh level. Is that something you can handle?” It’s Laios who talks to him this time. Laios is finally talking to him. Kabru needs to make the best possible impression he can.

Kabru stands up from the stool. He makes unwavering eye contact with Laios and says “It is,” in the most intense voice he can manage. Kabru has never made it further than the third level and he’s never even seen a dragon before, but he says those two words with the conviction of someone who has killed dozens of dragons before.

“Well, I guess he can join.” Laios says with a shrug. Kabru feels like a weight has lifted from his shoulders. He feels so light. He feels dazed. It’s finally happened. He’s in. Everything else goes by in a blur, he hardly even remembers filling out the paperwork.

“We’re going back to the dungeon tomorrow at eight.” Laios tells him.

“I’ll be there.” Kabru says.

Laios nods and then just heads out of the bar. The other party members give him a look, some say bye, and then the rest of them head out too. The door shuts and Kabru is left alone in the bar.

Now that he is alone, Kabru is overwhelmed with all the things he needs to do to prepare. Tomorrow? He did say he had gear and was prepared, and he was, but that was rather soon. Well, if they were planning to go tomorrow, then he really wasn’t to throw off their schedule. He should be glad they let him join on such short notice. He rushes off to gather his things, get more supplies, and tell Rin where he’s going.

Kabru wakes up at five in the morning. He packs his things as if the party is leaving in three minutes rather than three hours. By the time he’s packed and gotten himself ready, it’s only five seventeen.

He decides to head over to the market. He wants a book about the dungeon so he’ll know what to expect. He has a few, but he needs more knowledge, knowledge about what to expect deep in the dungeon. It would be terrible if he was jarred by everything the party encounters on the lower floors, he needs to be as prepared as he can for someone who’s only been to the second level.

He finds a book for a fair enough price. By the time he’s bought the book and headed over to the meeting spot, it’s only five twenty six. He’s the only one there at this time, so he decides to read the book in the meantime.

If he’s going to help them kill a dragon, he really needs to know more about dragons and their weaknesses. He flips to the chapter about dragons and skims the contents, trying to commit only the key words to memory. Dangerous breath, huge, some have impenetrable scales, jaws that could bite clean through bone, weak spot under the neck.

“Good morning.” A voice says, causing Kabru to tense up, startled. He looks up from the book and realizes it’s Shuro. He puts the book away and stands up straight.

“Good morning to you too.” He greets back.

Shuro must not have planned to say anything else after that because there is only silence. It’s just the two of them there, maybe he could take this opportunity to get to know him better.

What Kabru learned from yesterday is that he has to work his way up to talk to Laios. Laios only talked to him after Kabru had spoken with Falin, then Marcille, then Chilchuck. Kabru needed to secure his position in the party to get Laios’ attention, and the way to do that was through the other party members.

Shuro was probably the second easiest to talk to, since he had not been against Kabru joining the party and was willing to talk to him. Falin was probably the easiest to talk to since she had been the one willing to talk to him and vouch for him last night, but he had a feeling if he got too familiar with Falin it would ruin his chances of getting close to Marcille.

Marcille was probably the second most difficult to talk to, second to Laios. Marcille seemed to be angry with him, which would make getting close to her difficult. He thinks the reason she’s angry with him is probably because she feels protective of Falin since the two are such close friends.

Namari would probably be fairly easy to talk to, since she didn’t seem to dislike him, but then again, she didn’t approach him. He thinks Chilchuck would be the third most difficult to talk to. Chilchuck seemed to be suspicious of him, but he was willing to have a civil conversation with him. He seemed to be the “smart one” of the group, so he might be hard to get close to.

That being said, Kabru has a perfect opportunity right now to be friendly with Shuro, and if it goes well, which it probably will, it will make the others feel more comfortable with him. Then he’ll slowly be able to bond with the party members until he gets to the top, where he’ll finally be able to figure out who Laios is, what makes him tick, and if he’s someone worthy of defeating the dungeon.

“I don’t think we properly met yesterday. My name is Kabru.” Kabru introduces himself again, just to be polite. He offers out a hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Toshiro.” Shuro? Toshiro? says, shaking his hand.

“Sorry, you said your name is Toshiro?” Kabru asks to clarify.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” Toshiro questions his question.

“I swore the others called you by a different name is all.” The shorter man says.

“Ah, they call me Shuro. Laios told them that was my name and I never had a chance to correct them.” Toshiro explains awkwardly.

Kabru feels like he’s won at cards. Toshiro has opened up to him, he knows his name when nobody else does, and he learned something about Laios as well. He wonders if Laios is uncaring for his party members if he didn’t bother to learn Toshiro’s name.

“That’s terrible.” Kabru says sympathetically. Suddenly, he gets an idea. “Do you want me to tell the others?”

“You don’t have to. It’s really not so bad.” Toshiro reassures him.

“Doesn’t it bother you, though?” Kabru asks, curiously.

“Somewhat.” He mumbles.

“If it would make you feel better, I could definitely tell them.” He offers again.

“It wouldn’t be a bother to you?”

“Not at all!”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” Toshiro says gratefully.

Kabru smiles. People are a lot like safes. You want to get close to people like you’d want to get into a safe. You can’t just open up a safe, however, you need a key, a password, the right little gadget or combination to open it up. With people, you need words.

If you say the right things, people will open up to you and that’s when you can get close to them, find out what they’re thinking, figure out their motivations, understand them more than they could even understand themselves. When you say the right thing, it’s a feeling like a safe clicking open, you know you can get in.

Toshiro thanking him is like that click. Toshiro isn’t going to be totally loyal and open to him now, but he has a basic level of trust for Kabru. He has a positive impression of Kabru and is more likely to be on his side. He can use this, he thinks giddily.

About an hour later, at seven fourteen o’clock, Chilchuck shows up.

“Good morning.” Toshiro greets Chilchuck.

“Good morning, Chilchuck.” Kabru also greets Chilchuck, wanting to be polite.

“Hi.” Chilchuck responds simply.

Chilchuck is much more closed off, harder to talk to. Kabru thinks of a way to tell Chilchuck about Toshiro’s name, but not too awkwardly and bluntly, and also give a positive impression. He thinks for a few minutes, but then he’s got it.

“Do you know if the others are coming anytime soon? Toshiro and I have been waiting for a while now.”

“Half the party is always late.” Chilchuck huffs. “You guys will probably-wait, what did you say?”

“I just said that Toshiro and I have been waiting for a while now.” Kabru repeats innocently, putting a subtle emphasis on Toshiro’s name.

“You mean Shuro?” Chilchuck questions, looking between Kabru and Toshiro.

“Kabru is right. Shuro isn’t my name, it’s Toshiro.” The long haired man admits.

“Huh? Then why did you-Laios.” Chilchuck says Laios’ name with disdain.

Kabru is going to ask what about Laios, but then Marcille shows up.

“Hi!” She says cheerfully.

“Marcille, did you know Shuro’s name is actually Toshiro?” Chilchuck asks her, still appalled. Kabru feels relieved that the other party members are spreading the word so that he doesn’t have to.

“What?! Is it really?!” The elf questions Toshiro, who nods in response. The three of them start animatedly chatting at this revelation. Kabru simply listens.

“I can’t believe we’ve been saying it wrong this whole time.” Marcille remarks. “I can’t believe that Laios told us your name wrong…actually I can believe it.”

“Is Laios…not a good leader?” Kabru asks, trying to think of the most nuanced way to phrase it.

“He’s alright, he just doesn’t really notice little details.” Marcille answers.

“He doesn’t notice big things either. That guy is dense.” Chilchuck adds.

“He has good intentions, he just doesn’t… execute them well.” Toshiro tells him.

“He’s awful with people, but when we’re in the dungeon, he’s competent enough. He’s an ok leader.” The halfling concludes. The others seem to agree with this.

At eight o’clock, there is no sign of either of the Toudens or Namari. The others reassure him this is normal, albeit annoying.

At around eight forty, Namari shows up. This is, apparently, earlier than she usually shows up. Namari talks with them too after she learns of Toshiro’s actual name.

At nine thirteen o’clock, more than an hour after the original meeting time, the Touden siblings finally arrive.

“Wow, everyone’s talking today!” Laios exclaims.

“It’s because Shuro’s real name is actually Toshiro.” Namari tells him.

“It is?” Falin asks, opening her eyes in shock.

“Laios told everybody the wrong name.” Marcille says, giving Laios a flat look.

“He did.” Toshiro confirms.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Laios asks, he sounds a little hurt.

“You always talked over me.” Toshiro says. The whole party is looking in an accusatory way at Laios now.

Something about this situation, Laios being doubted by his whole group, makes Kabru ecstatic. The whole party has probably lost some respect for Laios over this. He has an idea now, if he can put pressure on the party’s relationship with Laios, not enough to break the party apart, but enough to strain it, he can knock Laios down a few pegs.

When Laios is down, he’ll be more willing to talk to Kabru, he’ll be desperate. Kabru can promise to restore his image, which will gain Laios’ favor and trust. Then, Kabru will finally be able to get to know him. All he needs to do is get close enough to everyone to be able to encourage them to speak out against Laios, then his plan will fall into motion. It’s perfect.

“I’m sorry I got your name wrong.” Laios apologizes sheepishly.

“I forgive you.” Toshiro says.

“You should be sorry for being late too.” Chilchuck scolds. “Do you know how long we had to wait for you?”

“I’m sorry I made everyone wait.” Laios apologizes again. “Let’s go to the dungeon now.”

The party seems to accept this, but there’s still a bit of tension in the air. Kabru feels immensely giddy. This is all going as he planned.

When they’re in the dungeon, Kabru makes sure to volunteer himself as much as possible, thought not to an obnoxious extent. He offers to kill small monsters in the way and the group lets him. He’s definitely making his way up the ranks.

After hours of traversing the dungeon, Laios calls for a lunch break. They’ve made good progress, they’re a good way through the second floor and it’s only the first day. Getting through the dungeon is a lot faster when Kabru has a skilled and coordinated party who can easily defeat monsters and navigate their way through the dungeon.

The party sits down in a circle in a little tucked away area, somewhere the monsters probably won’t find them. Marcille makes a magic circle to warm up the meal. The party chats a little bit and Kabru watches their dynamics closely.

Marcille sits at the middle part of the circle so she is able to tend to the magic circle. Right next to her is Falin, who’s helping out. Laios sits next to his sister and is unloading some things from his pack. Toshiro is sat next to Laios, he has an expression on his face like he’d rather be sitting somewhere else. Kabru himself is in between Toshiro and Namari. Namari is next to Chilchuck, who is next to Marcille’s other side.

After a few moments, the meals are heated up and distributed. It’s nothing fancy, just some rice and meat in a bowl. Kabru eats it without a word, the others have also fallen into silence as they eat.

Everyone finishes with their meal fairly quickly. After a mere half an hour, they had prepped a meal, eaten, and then packed their things back up and were ready to travel again. The party was making lots of progress and with very little trouble. Kabru thinks that maybe the party could actually push through the whole dungeon and defeat the Mad Mage.

They travel a few hours longer, until the dungeon started getting dark. It’s strange, how the second floor appears to have a sky, and with it, day and night cycles, even though it’s deep underground. They’re a bit more than half way through the second floor, they could probably make good distance on the third floor by tomorrow. It wouldn’t take long for them to reach the lower floors at all.

Kabru doesn’t feel tired at all, he never feels tired at night. He has a feeling of restless even more so than usual, however. He needs to keep up appearances, he needs to get close to the party members, he needs to impress them, he needs to be informed, he needs to do so much.

The party sets up their bedrolls and heads to sleep, reassuring Kabru nobody needed to keep watch and such an early level. While the others settle down and fall asleep, Kabru lies still in his bedroll, wide awake, for maybe twenty minutes. He listens to the breathing of the others’ slow until he is sure everyone is asleep.

When he’s absolutely sure, he slips out of his bedroll as quietly as he can, grabs his book, and walks off a small distance away from the party. He knows a simple light spell, which he casts, summoning a small glowing orb. He only needs a small light, large enough to read but not large enough to disturb the others or attract monsters.

Speaking of monsters, he’s going to face a lot of them, and as they head to lower floors, he’s going to be more and more unfamiliar with them. Monsters are only a problem if you don’t know what you’re dealing with or you freeze up. If Kabru can just figure out their weak points, he can deal with them easily, like solving a puzzle.

He flips the book to the third floor pages. He’s read about the third floor a few times before, but it wouldn’t hurt to refresh his memory. This floor is maze-like, consisting of winding stairs, and it has lots of tricky monsters and undead. Nothing seems to be too much of a problem, plus the other party members are probably equipped to taking out monsters like these.

Kabru has a much less intimate knowledge of the fourth floor, but he knows the basics. It’s a floor mainly consisting of water, with water walk spells being the only efficient way to traverse it. Kabru knows how to cast water walking, so he can handle himself just fine. The monsters there are all aquatic and can maneuver around in the water quickly, which can be rather difficult to fight.

The smaller ones shouldn’t be so difficult. The fish monsters can just be cut apart and with mermaids he can always just cover his ears and avoid them. The bigger ones might pose an issue, but then again they all have vital organs that can be stabbed, similar to the way an animal would. No matter the size, they can be killed. He would kill them.

He flips to some of the illustrations of the monsters and thinks to himself how he could kill some of them. Cutting off the heads would probably work for most of them, most living things need them, but it wouldn’t prove effective for ones with, for example, two heads or ones that were large enough that it would be difficult to get a clean cut.

Demi-humans would probably be easy. The anatomy and organs should be relatively the same to humans, although they were monsters, so he couldn’t know for sure. Even if the vitals weren’t exactly the same he could probably-

“Is that a monster book?” Someone suddenly says right next to his ear, making him jump to the point he drops the book on the ground and lose control of his light, causing it to fizzle out. He inhales sharply, reaches a hand for the dagger on his side, and spins around to look at whoever is speaking to him. They probably could’ve killed him anyways if they were that close, but he couldn’t know for sure.

He squints his eyes to adjust to the dark. When he realizes who he’s looking at, Kabru is stunned. It’s Laios, he thinks. Then, he thinks shit shit shit.

Kabru thought he may have gotten caught. He had thought of some excuses for if he was caught but the book went unnoticed, like he was keeping watch, he was going out on a walk, or he had to go to the bathroom. If the book was noticed he’d say something like he wanted to refresh his memory or you could never be too prepared.

The thing was, he planned the delivery of these excuses for someone else. He’d have thought maybe Toshiro or Falin would have looked for him if he was missing since he’s talked to them, or maybe even Chilchuck since the halfling had been suspicious of him, but Laios was not someone he prepared for. Laios was the last person he expected to go looking for him.

After all, this was Laios, who had ignored him for months on end. Laios whom he had never properly talked to. Laios, whose party Kabru had just joined the day before, and given the party’s discussion in the morning, he didn’t seem like someone who would notice if one of the members went missing, especially not Kabru. He hadn’t expected to be able to talk to Laios for at least another week.

“Oh no! Your book!” Laios says, picking up the fallen book with the same tenderness most people would use to hold a small wounded animal or perhaps a newborn baby. He gently brushes the dirt off its pages and, rather than handing the book back to Kabru, starts squinting to see the illustrations in the dark.

Kabru starts to panic. What if the reason Laios is out here because Laios is onto him? What if he knows Kabru really isn’t all that experienced with dungeons and he’s trying to act more skilled than he is? What if he knows Kabru just joined the party to try and get an opportunity to talk to him and isn’t quite sold on his leadership or really anything about him?

What would he do if Kabru didn’t think he was worthy of being king? Most adventurers were cocky and thought it was some inherent right of theirs to conquer the dungeon. Would Laios be upset? Would he try to kill him? Kabru keeps his hand near his dagger, just in case.

It’s been only a few seconds, but Kabru can’t just sit here quietly. He needs to say something, do something. He has to seize this opportunity to talk to Laios.

A question of why Laios is here has started to form in his mind, but he’s interrupted by Laios asking him “Why do you have this?”

“Just in case, you know?” Kabru responds almost immediately, giving a casual smile as if to make the excuse seem more natural, despite the fact it can’t be seen very well in the dark. He wasn’t sure if the excuse would work with Laios, he wasn’t sure of anything about Laios at all. “Why are you out here?” He decides to ask, hoping maybe he can better understand Laios.

“I woke up and I realized someone was missing. I was a little worried, but then I saw you over here with a monster book and I was curious.” Laios says nonchalantly, not looking up from Kabru’s book.

What is there to be curious about? Does he know Kabru doesn’t really know how to handle

the dungeon? Does he know Kabru wanted to test him, peel back his mask and see what kind of person Laios really was? When Kabru was trying to figure out Laios, was Laios really onto him first? Was he in control of everything all along?

“Can I have that back?” He asks, hoping to take it away before Laios can come to any conclusions as to why he has it.

“Yeah.” The blonde replies, looking at the pages a bit longer before handing the book back over to Kabru. Kabru feels like sighing in relief, but he doesn’t dare make any sort of indication as to what he’s thinking or feeling. He’s rooted in place still, wondering if he should start heading back or not.

Laios doesn’t quite seem to know what to do next either. He’s still just standing there, maybe contemplating what to say. It’s silent for a few moments, the two of them just standing there, facing each other in the dark.

“How do you feel about monsters?” Laios finally speaks up.

Kabru hates monsters. Monsters are violent disgusting beasts that kill people without rhyme or reason. If he could, he wouldn’t be anywhere near them, but he has to in order to kill them; kill them before they can kill others like they did at Utaya.

He doesn’t say that aloud though because something about Laios’ question makes him think. It’s phrased casually, but there’s an undertone to it that makes it seem like Laios is looking for a specific answer. He thinks if he answers it correctly, he could get closer to Laios, weeks early than planned.

Most people hate monsters, it’s only natural. Monsters kill humans of all races, what reason is there to like them? Logically, the answer should be something like “I hate them” or maybe even a more passionate and detailed answer regarding his distaste for them, but then again, is Laios Touden most people?

“Sorry, can you say that again?” Kabru asks. He heard him perfectly well the first time, but maybe if he pays close attention the second time, he can figure out what Laios is thinking.

“Uh, I think I said what do you think about monsters?” Laios answers, sounding unsure of himself. That was in fact, not what he asked the first time. “It’s just…you were reading a monster book where nobody else could see,” He continues. “I’m just curious why you’d do something like that.”

Kabru’s heart skips a beat. Oh shit, is he on to him? Does he know Kabru is not some experienced adventurer, but rather a novice has barely scraped his way to the third floor with a party of his own? Does he know that Kabru has spent a ridiculous amount of money on revival fees because he’s died to monsters so many times before? Does he know that Kabru really doesn’t know what he’s doing in this dungeon?

Kabru is usually good at thinking of quick excuses on the spot, but he’s completely out of his depth right now. He doesn’t know what Laios is thinking. He doesn’t know the right words to say to Laios. He really doesn’t know anything about him at all. The whole point of trying to get his attention and join his party was to figure that out! And now everything might be ruined, just when they had started!

“I didn’t want to wake anybody up with the light.” Kabru manages eventually, after a suspiciously long and awkward pause.

“But why a monster book?” Laios asks. He wonders if he could sneak away or hit Laios over the head and then, in the morning, convince him it was a dream. Shit, he’s so screwed. “Sorry if it’s personal, I won’t tell anybody.”

“I was reading about monsters because…it’s-they’re…interesting.” Kabru tries. He has a feeling that answer won’t be enough for Laios. Laios, instead of pressing more, is dead silent for a few moments. Kabru wonders if that was the wrong answer.

“You like reading about monsters too?” Laios asks. Like is absolutely not the word he’d use to describe it, but it’s the word Laios would use, so Kabru has to agree with it. If he pretends to have something in common with him, Laios should open up to him.

“I do.” Kabru lies.

“Oh.” Laios says. Kabru is unable to tell what that’s supposed to mean, which causes him to panic internally. He thought he answered what Laios wanted. Did he say the wrong thing? “You-do you like monsters?”

A normal human would ask a question like that in a shocked and derogatory tone because it’s strange and appalling to like something like a monster. Laios asks it in a way that sounds shocked, but it doesn’t sound like he means anything bad by asking it. He seems genuinely curious and Kabru isn’t sure what to make of that.

“Why do you ask?” Kabru decides to deflect.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Laios asks, possibly deflecting his deflect.

“Of course.” The more he learns about Laios, the better.

“I’ve never told anybody this before, but I really love monsters.” Love? Monsters? “I love the way they look, the way they sound, the way they live. I’m really curious about them, I think they’re really cool.” Laios admits.

At first, he’s relieved because Laios was not onto him and he really just wanted to tell him this. Then, Kabru thinks that’s the weirdest thing he’s ever heard anybody say. He wonders why Laios feels that way. Did a monster save him as a child? Actually, a better question would be: did he get hit over the head as a child. How could Laios see anything worth loving in monsters?

Kabru has so many other questions. He feels like he understands Laios even less than he did before. There’s only one way to figure it all out.

“I never thought I’d meet someone who feels the same way.” The lie feel clunky on his tongue. The implication that he loves monsters leaves a sour taste in his mouth, it feels wrong to even imply such a thing, even if it’s not true.

Laios looks at Kabru as if he is every star in the sky, a strip of the universe folded neatly into the shape of a human. Kabru feels immensely relieved. It seems as if that had been the best possible thing he could have said.

“I have a monster book too.” The blonde says quickly. He fishes the book out of the neck piece of his armor. “Can you make a light again?”

That’s probably a good idea, squinting at Laios in the dark is exhausting. Kabru murmurs a few words under his breath, causing a small light to spark to life once again.

Kabru is surprised to see Laios’ book looks like a children’s picture book. It also looks like a cookbook? He wonders what to say first about it.

“I can show you some pages.” Laios says, getting close to Kabru’s side so that their shoulders are touching, and opening the book up in between them.

The pages are covered in small notes. Curiously, the notes seem to be strategically placed to ensure they didn’t overlap with the original text or images. The pages have recipes and flavors on them, making Kabru almost entirely sure it is a cookbook.

“Is that a cookbook?” He asks, amused.

“Yeah!”

Kabru wants to laugh at how absurd this all is. He’s finally talking to Laios and it’s going like this? Laios loves monsters and Kabru is pretending that’s how he feels too. And now Laios wants to eat monsters too? And his basis for monster cuisine is in a children’s book? It would be funny if Kabru wasn’t going to have to pretend that’s what he wants too.

“That’s really cool.” Kabru smiles as he lies. “I’d love to try some sometime.”

“You know,” Laios starts, a glint in his eyes, “we might be able to right now.” Laios animatedly flips through the pages and Kabru can feel his heart sink in his chest.

“This section is for the second floor.” The blonde tells him, slowly flipping through the pages so Kabru can see them. Kabru wearily eyes the contents. He’s got to say something to deter him.

“But how would we eat monsters if we can’t cook them?” Kabru tries. He thinks that’s one of the weirdest things he’s ever said, just about every single sentence he’s said in this conversation is one of the weirdest things he’s ever said.

“Hmm.” Laios goes, scrunching up his face in thought. Kabru thinks he’s safe, but then Laios lights up. “Man-Eating Plant salad.” He says, holding up the page. “You don’t have to cook salad.”

“That’s so nice and convenient that you found a monster that you don’t have to cook.” Kabru says optimistically, but really he feels the exact opposite. He wonders if it’s too late to hit Laios over the head and run.

“I know, right? I’m pretty sure there are some Man-Eating Plants just over here.” Laios says, standing up and tucking the monster cookbook back into his armor. He motions for Kabru to come with him and Kabru reluctantly follows. Kabru desperately hopes that Laios is wrong and there are no Man-Eating Plants.

Very disappointingly, Laios is correct. There are lots of Man-Eating Plants, actually. Kabru hopes he can sneak away when Laios isn’t looking.

“With all these, it might be difficult to pick off just one.” Laios remarks, turning back to look directly at him. So much for getting away.

“Should we go back then?” Kabru asks, sounding like he’s asking a genuine question, but really feeling immensely desperate.

Laios doesn’t say anything right away. He looks over at the plant monsters, which are softly illuminated by the light spell. His eyes are following a small monster that creeps near the Man-Eating Plants. Kabru watches too, trying to figure out what he thinks is so interesting.

The small monster reaches for a fruit and yanks it off. It begins to nibble on it. The Man-Eating Plant which the fruit had come from grabs it with its vines and traps it. The small monster cries out and squirms, but it is snared too tightly to escape.

“Oh!” Laios says, excited once again. “Those fruits seem like they come off really easily!” That’s what conclusion he got from that?

“How would we even get them?” Kabru asks, dread settling in his stomach.

“I could distract them while you grab a fruit. If you grab it as sneakily and as quickly as you can, there shouldn’t be any problems, but if they do get you, I could cut you down.” Laios says confidently. Kabru wants to try and point out a flaw, but it is very unfortunately a solid plan.

“Alright.” Kabru says, accepting his fate because clearly nothing can deter Laios from eating monsters. He slips off his armor to be quieter and neatly stacks it in a pile. The two of them quietly approach the Man-Eating Plans.

Kabru creeps closer while Laios stays back. Kabru steps low and quiet until he’s reached the monster fruits. He tries to pluck one off, but it is, unlike Laios had exclaimed earlier, very difficult to pull off. The Man-Eating Plant shifts above him. Kabru swears in his mind.

Suddenly, Laios starts making a bunch of weird whistling noises and waving his arms around. Kabru stares at him in disbelief and wonders what the absolute fuck that man is doing. Kabru then remembers he’s supposed to get the fruit and go. He pulls out a knife, slices it off, and then bolts away.

He thinks he’s made it, he’s almost back to where Laios is at a safe distance, when suddenly he’s pulled off the ground.

“Laios!” He calls out as he’s being pulled further and further from the ground.

“Hold on!” Laios shouts back, running past him. Kabru bitterly wonders if Laios is going to leave him to die. Maybe Laios was someone who was cold and selfish all along and, even though he was interesting, there was nothing worthy about him at all.

Then, the vines unfurl and Kabru starts to fall. Laios starts rushing back his direction again, awkwardly sheathing his sword as he goes. He holds out his arms as if to catch Kabru, but Kabru hits the ground about a half a minute before he even gets over there. It wasn’t too bad of a fall, nothing is broken, maybe not even bruised, but it still hurt.

As he sits up, he realizes he still has the monster fruit in his arms. He’d have thought it would’ve gotten crushed, but no, it’s practically in perfect condition. He really can’t escape this, can he?

“Are you hurt?” Laios asks him.

“No.” Kabru says.

“That’s good.” He looks at the damned monster fruit still in Kabru’s arms. “The fruit! You saved it! Nice job, uh...you.” Laios says awkwardly as if he was going to say Kabru’s name but had drawn up a blank.

“Did you forget my name?” Kabru asks him.

“…No?” Laios says, very obviously lying. Kabru doesn’t know why he expected Laios of all people to remember his name. Laios didn’t know Toshiro’s name despite knowing him for months, after all.

“I’m Kabru.” The dark haired man reintroduces himself.

“Kabru.” Laios repeats, trying to familiarize himself with his name. He’s silent for a moment, then says, “Hey, now that I think about it, we don’t have any bowls, so it would be kind of hard to make salad.”

Kabru is a little pissed they did all that for nothing, but he thinks he could pass out from relief at the fact they aren’t in fact going to eat monsters.

“We can still have the fruit though! Fruit is pretty tasty on its own!” Laios says cheerily. Kabru wonders why he even bothered getting his hopes up. He makes a mental note that Laios is awfully resilient and good at problem solving, for better or for worse, though in this case it’s for worse. “Can you give me that fruit? I’m gonna cut it in half.”

Kabru defeatedly hands him the fruit and goes to put his gear back on. Laios places the fruit on the ground and slices it with his sword. Laios did a terrible job of cutting it in half, it looks much more like seventy-thirty than fifty-fifty, but Kabru can’t complain when Laios gives him the smaller piece.

“You can try it first.” Kabru says because if anybody is dying tonight from food poisoning from eating monster fruit, it’s not going to be Kabru.

Laios takes a big bite out of the fruit. “This is really good!” Laios says with a mouth full of fruit. “It’s like sweet, but then sort of sour? It sort of tastes like a normal fruit, though. I expected it to taste different since it’s from a monster.” He sounds sad when he says those last two sentences.

Kabru watches him warily. He doesn’t seem to be dying or having any sort of side effect. Plus if it were like a normal fruit, it shouldn’t be so bad. Besides, the fruit is from a monster, not a monster itself, so it’s really not that weird to be eating it, right? Laios is looking at him expectantly.

Kabru waits a few seconds, just in case Laios suddenly falls over and dies. He does not. He seems completely normal and healthy, in fact. Kabru is unfortunately forced to take a small bite of the fruit (that isn’t a monster and is barely even related to monsters at all and is almost just like a normal fruit). It’s overwhelmingly sweet at first, but then it does have a sort of tangy aftertaste. It vaguely reminds him of pineapple.

“It’s nice.” He says, taking another small bite of the totally normal fruit. It’s pretty good, actually. Laios has almost eaten half of his fruit piece already.

“Do you think the flavor is different depending on what the Man-Eating Plants eat?” Laios wonders aloud. “Like if it was eating lots of giant rats, do you think it would gradually adjust the flavor to more effectively attract them? Maybe this is some monster’s favorite type of fruit and that’s why they taste like this.” Kabru feels like spitting out the fruit after being crudely reminded of its monster origins, but he manages to swallow it.

“You think the flavor is like this because it’s some monster’s favorite?” Kabru asks him, amused.

“Well, it had to have been liked by something the Man-Eating Plants eat.” Laios reasons. “Maybe it’s a combination of flavors that multiple monsters liked to attract more of them! That could be why it’s sweet and sour!” He’s talking quickly and his pupils are dilated, he seems to be really enjoying this conversation. Well, it could hardly be called a conversation when Laios is doing all the talking and Kabru is just nodding along. He rambles a bit more, cutting himself off occasionally to bite the fruit.

Laios finishes his fruit and looks up at the dark sky. “We should probably go back soon.”

“Good idea.” Kabru stands up, abandoning his barely eaten fruit. He really wants to rush off back to the camp, go to sleep, and pretend this wasn’t as weird as it was. He walks slowly next to Laios, though.

“That was fun.” Laios says. He’s looking at Kabru like he wants him to say something.

“Yeah, it was really nice.” Kabru half lies. He was glad he got to find out more about Laios, but he didn’t enjoy being attacked by a monster and then eating monster fruit.

Laios is still looking at him funny, like he wants him to say something else. Kabru is unsure what Laios wants from him.

“Uhm.” Laios says, stopping a little bit before the camp. Kabru stops as well, looking at him curiously. Laios is still giving him that weird look.

“What is it?” Kabru decides to ask instead.

“Well, that was fun right?” Laios repeats himself, awkwardly.

“Yes?” Kabru repeats his response, but in a more concise and confused manner.

“So…maybe we could do something like that again? Well, there’s probably not gonna be anything like Man-Eating Plants on lower levels, but maybe we could just look at monsters? Or talk about them?” Laios asks shyly. Kabru is struck again by how weird this all is.

“That sounds great. Let’s do that.” Kabru says with a smile. Laios looks like he’s going to say something, but he ends up just smiling and nodding.

He starts walking back to the camp again. Kabru follows. The shorter of the two dissipates the light again as they get closer.

“Goodnight, Laios.” He says as they reach the cave.

“Yeah.” Laios says in response as he heads over to his bedroll. Kabru wonders if Laios even heard what he said. He hears Laios snoring softly not even a minute after, so maybe he was just really tired.

Kabru settles into his own bedroll and stares up at the ceiling, thinking about what just happened.

Kabru hates monsters, he’s always hated monsters and always will, but he’s so intensely curious about Laios’ affection for them. He just has to know, he needs to know, why and how Laios sees them like that. Laios loves monsters, but he kills them. He loves monsters, but he wants to eat them. It’s a unique type of adoration that Kabru can’t connect with anything else. It’s fascinating.

Sleep catches up with Kabru eventually. His eyes are heavy with drowsiness and his head heavy with thoughts of Laios’ feelings about monsters. As he drifts off, he finds himself thinking not about why Laios likes monsters, but rather what had happened in an entirely non-analytical manner, he was just simply recalling the fresh memory.

He closes his eyes and sees himself sitting down in the grass, with only the small light illuminating himself and Laios, the taste of sweet and sour (not technically monster) fruit in his mouth, and the sound of Laios excitedly rambling on about…well, monsters. He couldn’t really avoid the subject of monsters when it came to Laios, but that’s good. Kabru is figuring out what he likes and what he’s thinking, he’s making so much progress with him.

Even if Laios is rambling about things like the taste of monsters, everything is going smoothly, in Kabru’s favor. He’s on the right track so things aren’t so bad. When he thinks about it like that, it’s almost pleasant.

Kabru is figuring things out, figuring Laios out, figuring out if he’s worthy of conquering the dungeon. Kabru will decode him and, when he does, then maybe everything will be alright. Maybe Laios will be a good person, conquer the dungeon, and become a good king, with Kabru supporting him every step of the way. Of course, Kabru will be prepared to face whatever reality he’s met with, but, just for a moment, it’s nice to dream.

[kantraels]

fseer funniest behaviors

[layraket]

i can't stop thinking about that my literature teacher today told us that a lot of people (including my class) was loosing the ability of reading comprehension and he has a really strong point

i feel like more and more people take the words more literally, not really stopping to imagine and try to comprehend the meaning behind them. Not all words will mean the same or be used in a literal way

You, as a reader, have to imagine the scene and try to put in place the word and its meaning to fit in a logic way into a specific action or dialoge

[deadqueernoldor]

Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.

I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.

And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.

If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.

I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.

[cruelsister-moved2]

like we are on our nine billionth positivity post for cis men with beards and masculine trans men and feminine lesbians and bi people in m/f relationships and nb people who are comfortable passing as their agab etc.... do we need more? is straight people not being able to tell you're gay/trans really the biggest issue facing lgbt people right now?

there seems to be this undiminishable reservoir of care and sympathy for the very idea of having ur queerness slighted in any context. meanwhile people who never get the choice whether or not to hide it are routinely dehumanised, othered, and ignored. if the issues facing these groups do get discussed it's almost never with much concern for their feelings. invalidation and erasure may be one of the issues facing lgbt people and it deserves attention too but I really don't think you can claim at this point that it isn't getting its fair share already.

for what it's worth, even your hypothetical most flaming butch lesbian/fem gay man/androgynous nb person etc still meets people who assume they're cishet, who even actively refuse to acknowledge that they're not. the false equivalence between erasure and overt prejudice alleged exclusively by those who largely experience only the former is in fact erasing the reality of people who experience both

[ssreeder]

Ok so Idk if u answered this ARLEDY, if yes then sorry haha

But I’m curious to ask like the kind of Dyanamic you will give Sokka n Suki.

From what we’ve seen sokkka cares abt suki, obv, but he dosent want to really open up w her and suki is tired of being takes as a joke, cus that’s mostly what she has taken from sokka’s attitude mostly and that’s why they are avoiding each other. NOW.

W THE WHOOE THING KATARA KNOWS ABT ZUKKA (BY ARA, OBV FANTASTIC) OF COURSE THE FIRST SHES GONNA TRLL WILL BE SUKI AND OMG I JUST KNOW THE BOYS WILL HAVE TO GO TROUGH SOME SHIT NEXT CHAPTER (i think mostly ZUKO but sokka isn’t completely save ither lol)

(Also sorry for the grammar but English isn’t my first language haha)

NOW Idk if that’s like a spoiler but what’s a random ‘katara-sokka interaction line in the next chapter’?

Sorry I’m curious lol

Anyways keep up cuz this series is so beautiful and ur writing is immaculate and DONT THINK YOU ARE ANNOYNG BC UR NOTTT I LOVE AO3 OR AUTHORS IN GENERAL THAT ARE ACTIVE IN THE END NOTES OR ON OTHER SOCIALS IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE U ACC GIVE A SHIT ABT US W INTERACTING W US READERS SO STOP FEELING LIKE U ARENT GOOD ENOUGH BCUZ U ARE GOOD ENOUGH!! JUST LOOK AT WHAT U WEITE LIKE U DID THIS? U JUST DID THIS IN YOUR HEAD AND BE LIKE ‘OH YES LETS WRITE ABT IT’ THATS INSANE (in a good way) ok I’ll stop now lol.

Ok Im done now haha hope you have a nice day :) (I’m scared for the next cliffhanger next chapter.)

HIIIII…. ok so. Sokka & Suki lol…. I want to say they’ll get over it & be friends but I also feel like that’s unrealistic, and not very understanding of Sukis feelings about what happened?

Suki is a teenage girl who just experienced her first heartbreak by having the boy she liked lie to her,,, only to reveal later that he’s involved with someone else lol… yeah she’s fumming. There are also little things along that way that have added insult to injury, like the way sokka has ignored her and the other kyoshi warriors, or not even noticing her when she’s in the same room as him… idk with all the tension I wouldn’t expect her and sokka to make up to a point where they’ll hang out? But I do think a conversation between them is bound to happen.

AHHHHH….. I have so much I want to say about Katara knowing but the next two chapters will do that for me so ummm *sings theme song* BE PREPAREDDDDDD!!!!

ok so a random Katara sokka line from next chapter hmmm let’s see….

“Did you two visit markets together too?”

”Yeah, a few actually. We even stayed at an Inn once, it was nice. Do you remember, Zuko?”

Zuko continued nodding, ”I do.”

There’s a lot of Katara & sokka interactions this chapter but it’s ummm not super easy to show you because there’s a lot happening in these scenes. But you’ll see ;)

THANK YOU ANON I DO GIVE A SHIT I GIVE SO MUCH OF A SHIT I SWEAR THANK YOU FOR THIS GLORIOUS ASK AHHHHH!!!

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Galladrabbles

Sorry I'm late Harvey!

@galladrabbles from last week for @mikhailoisbaby's prompt "Childhood Comfort"

Ian had invited Mickey for Thanksgiving, after the shitshow last year he wanted happier holiday memories.

When Fiona handed Mickey a dish, a beautiful braided bread with a centered candle, he almost dropped it surprised.

“Kolach?” He looked to Ian.

“Wanted you to have a childhood comfort, since you’re with us, not your family. I know it’s more of a Christmasy food, but it’s what I could make easiest.” Ian said sheepishly.

“You made this?” Mickey asked, awestruck.

Ian nodded.

With watery eyes, Mickey reached for the bread with one hand, and Ian’s hand under the table with the other.

[too-young-to-fall-in-love]

Big Guns

for @heytheredeann cuz it's somewhat loosely based on Sticks, stones and words.

the song fits them really well but it was the "he didn’t really think Solo would take out the big guns against him." line that rly spurred me into it, hope u like it <3

lyrics under the cut!

I wet my lips, I thought I had it made She circled once and then she dropped the bomb She got the big guns pointed at my heart Bang-bang, shooting like a firing squad Big guns, she blew me away And I went down in flames

[lotus-sunn]

Using the word love.

something I have been thinking about.

My dad says I use the word love too much, but honestly, I don't. There are just too many things to love. I love the sky, I love eating, I love to roller skate, I love to drink my arizona, I love to feel the water on my skin when I swim in the lake, and I love the birds that tweet in the morning.

I love being myself.

I love taking care of who I am, and if that means that my dad thinks I use the word love too loosely, then that's okay too.

I love my dad.

[mariocki]

Fat Man on a Beach (HTV, 1974)

"I'm going to read some more poems now. Erm. It may be that if you want to go and have a cup of tea, this would be a good time. I know that's what you masses are like. The mention of poetry and off you go."

[neonstatic]

It's 7am and I'm upset. Anywaaay I'll just sleep it off

[iftitah]

accidentally opened lj's whatsapp chat from april 2023 and almost kmsed reading 2 texts couldn't even scroll above

[poptartmochi]

in this house we love greek gods that preside over one specific thing and have fuckall to do for the rest of eternity <3

[pa-pa-plasma]

how much "weaponized incompetence" do you think is actually that & not just like. executive dysfunction

[sethnakht]

everyone wants darth vader dead in greg pak and raffaele ienco's darth vader, it seems, seemingly including darth vader. no sooner has luke slipped his grasp does it strike into public awareness like a firework set off in a crowd -- vader's power, too, is slipping. the weight of that collective scrutiny -- from officers, bounty hunters, and assassins to the paper-pushers of the Imperial court and the former handmaidens of Queen Amidala -- manifests in a hunger to dismantle him physically, to wrench and tear off the armor, to see him gorged upon by giant monsters, to freeze him and puppet him, to seize control over the "softbody" and flay him of his life support. nor is vader left unaffected by this hostile focus on his physical limits -- as he slouches, limps, stumbles, crawls -- and pauses, exhaustedly, though there is no way to catch his breath -- his way through the comic, the gleaming armor is hacked, punctured, electrocuted, torn open, shattered, and burned, while his thoughts dwell on weakness, grief, and fear. such abjection, however short lived, sets this comic run far apart from marvel's previous two darth vader runs, both of which traced an upward trajectory: vader's rise to the height of his power in esb (gillen/larroca), and his journey to becoming a committed sith after rots (soule/camuncoli). the trajectory here is to the grave.

Darth Vader (2020-) #5, Pak/Ienco/et al - observing that vader is walking right into a major barrage of fire - not for the first time - the forensic droid accompanying him hints that he might have a death wish.

vader himself refuses to admit weakness, of course - at least consciously - but his arguments bear all the weakness of bad political discourse. "there is no conflict", he says, making one think of conflict; "my son is weak", he says, making one think of the father. when you tell someone not to think of an elephant, even in negation, you invoke the elephant. darth vader is very good at conjuring the elephant, and making one peer very closely into the bold and marked outlines of its supposed non-existence.

Darth Vader (2020-) #1, Pak, Ienco, et al - unable to handle that he has been rejected by his son, Vader transfers the failure to Luke, calling him "weak" for choosing to flee him, for choosing potential death over Vader's offer of power, even as he stands empty-handed before a gravesite, his own desire to punish the dead thwarted by his having made them so. The comic doesn't leave it at ironic framing - Vader too is aware of what he is invoking, and the associations brought up as he stands at the site of his mother's grave show that Vader cannot entirely suppress his own sense of failure - his own memories of his own perceived weakness.

vader's private thoughts -- rendered in the comic in startling little red boxes that, like mummy coffins, nest in larger black boxes, nearly always isolated from physical imagery, from contact with the visual world -- are as tiring and repetitive as an unwelcome pigeon on the window sill. the stunner is not what he thinks or even what he invokes, but that his thoughts are not actually private at all. there is no room to admit weakness because, as it turns out, vader's master can pick up on his thoughts from the other side of the galaxy. vader's master can croon into his black boxes, scoop out the words and spit them back out like trite poetry learned from heart in grade school. watching him from afar, vader's master reads into his actions and mocks what is unexpressed. if there's a space free from his influence -- an influence that is similar to the reader's influence, an influence that explains why we can see his thoughts at all, because we too are complicit and voyeurs -- it might only be the gutters, those gaps between panels where the mind completes the temporal and spatial relationships between the images. in the page from the first issue shown above, for example, note how the speech balloon for the remembered "I won't fail again" nearly connects with vader's head in the panel below it, linking anakin's grief-filled promise to become stronger with vader's helmeted head, all while lingering on padmé's face - his next inevitable failure. even if he cannot think it.

the humiliation is public, we're part of the frenzied mob, swiping at the armor for scraps of cursed fabric -- transgressing boundaries both mental and physical, eating up that transgression like the intimate, play-by-play accounts of a famous suicide. vader's armor is repeatedly hacked, a gag that bluntly serves to hammer and hammer and hammer home for you that shame of being mocked before the class that specially belongs to darth vader, dark lord of the sith.

Darth Vader (2020-) #13, Pak, Ienco, et al - Vader is made a puppet more than once over the course of the comic, frozen and trapped both in his mind and body.

to be honest, I was originally a little annoyed by the number of hacking attempts -- everyone gets to take their shot at controlling vader, from hutts and droids to the handmaidens to a psychic squid who puppets him with its tentacles -- because of the frequency and similarity of the attempts, because while vader does address some vulnerabilities, he still gets scanned and sliced, meaning he's overlooking weaknesses or choosing not to address them; because he doesn't seem greatly affected by the threat to his bodily autonomy, and because of the friction with gillen's run (where being hacked sends vader into a high-stakes psychosis and is a major and unusual event that he takes measures to prevent from happening again in the aphra comics). then I remembered this scene:

Darth Vader (2020), #12 (Pak, Vilanova, et al) - After losing all but one limb, being set on fire, tracking through lava on mismatched ancient droid parts, being chased and attacked by assassins, droid scrappers, an Imperial Star Destroyer, and a wall of Sith acolytes, then nearly ripped apart mentally and physically by a psychotic giant squid and a screaming kyber crystal, Vader is "repaired" on Coruscant - i.e. sawed open - before a hostile, chattering audience, the Emperor laughingly dismissing him as a threat.

which. is. absolutely. fucked. up!! and to top it off, there's this sly little sequence --

Darth Vader (2020-) #14 (Pak, Ienco, et al) - Vader's armor specifications appear to be tracked with each repair and are openly accessible to the Imperial court

-- which shows that even if vader updates his armor, that knowledge will be recorded the next time he comes in for a repair (if it's not always being transmitted automatically). anyone with sufficient credentials in the imperial machine, including the demoted sub-administrator sly moore, can access his repair logs, analyze them for untested weaknesses, and saunter off with an suit override stick. (to be sure, sly moore isn't supposed to be looking at his records and is chastised when she's found; she also tries to use the same kill stick twice, failing to account for the updates vader does make after the first slicing attempt, perhaps because she hasn't checked or been able to access the records for updates. the point here though is that vader's suit is a matter of government record, treated like imperial property; you can imagine all sorts of fun scenarios here, such as that his private upgrades are wiped each time he comes into the repair center, or that new vulnerabilities are built in each time, etc.)

even the dead contribute to this panopticon effect. in the latest issue of the comic, the skakoan jul tambor reveals that he's been collecting dismembered droids -- each of them individually sliced apart by darth vader over the years (notably, however, most of them are separatist droids, hinting at tambor's blind spot: he hasn't collected the droid corpses anakin left littered on battlefields). drawing on their recorded logs of their own demise, tambor observes vader precisely when he might feel the least concern about it -- in the act of killing, of eradicating the viewer. the now-repaired droids possess a kind of moving simulacrum of vader's battle tactics. perhaps because he too relies on a pressure suit and breathing device to survive in the same atmosphere as most humans, tambor doesn't need static blueprints of the suit -- he has no intention of shutting down vader's life support. the difference in method is only a subtle one, however: he too is targeting vader's dependency on his armor. in lieu of a direct attack, he means to target the suit's limitations indirectly, to swarm vader with the very droids he once demolished and have them target his limited mobility, his repetitious set of moves within the suit's confines. with his reliance on surveillance technology, tambor is only the latest in a long line to act on the premise that vader's demise is a given because he has no secrets left.

Darth Vader (2020-) #30, Pak, Ross, et al

if it seems a blind spot that tambor hasn't collected archival footage of anakin on a droid rampage, he's nonetheless managed to address it thanks to a chance encounter. when padmé's former body double -- sabé, vader's double in the comic, a shadow of the shadow -- arrives on vader's orders to kill tambor, then tries to convince him to abandon a plan that she fears will only get hundreds killed, he captures her. tambor rightly recognizes that sabé is more to vader than an agent skilled in deception and lies: she represents his weakness, he believes, a reading that vader himself may even share.

sabé is the bright note in this story of decline, the one character who cares enough and dares enough to consider vader's "weakness" a possible strength. like the reconstituted droids, she is in her own way a dead woman brought back to life, a ghost -- padmé back from the grave to haunt him, as she tells vader upon their first meeting. like any good ghost, she wants revenge for padmé's death and to enact her final, unfulfilled wish; as it happens, killing vader to save anakin would neatly accomplish both. (as it happens, she and vader have both seen recorded footage of padmé's last moments; tambor's recordings of vader from the perspective of dying droids is both a parallel and a contrast to padmé, shown dying from wounds inflicted by an absent vader, whispering of the good still in him.) when sabé freely enters his service, claiming she wants to help, vader is troubled -- does this make him weak? -- and yet also quite smug. here is finally someone who has chosen him of their own free will; here is someone who has accepted his offer of power; here is someone who looks and talks just like the dead wife he's convinced himself would have stood with him and espoused his cause ("order"). (indeed, she wields real power -- jealous and fearful, the assassin ochi effectively portrays her as a tiger handler who unleashes her pet when she wants someone dead.) it's a fantasy come to life.

yet sabé is not dead, present as she may as ghost or shadow or fantasy -- sabé is herself haunted: haunted by padmé, whom she could not save, and by anakin, whose mother she could not free. sabé is herself a killer whose guilt and loyalty and poisoned grief have moved her to try and execute vader "for padmé and anakin", and who gets a real chance -- closer than anyone but palpatine -- to put vader to death. sabé's attempts to kill vader have evolved with time -- a first attempt, imaginative but unrefined, made when she unequivocally thought him anakin and padmé's murderer, involved luring vader into an underwater lair, provoking him into claiming he killed anakin and padmé, and feeding him to a massive sea monster. a second, disastrous attempt led to the pointless slaughter of her ground and aerial troops, though vader left her and padmé's remaining former handmaidens alive. (unbeknownst to her, the emperor nearly killed vader for that choice, leaving him deprived of all but his arm and core suit functionality on the burning banks of mustafar, to relive obi-wan's abandonment and crawl his way through the corpses of murdered separatists, into and out of death.) she comes closest to actually killing him, however, only after she's had such an effect on him that she's moved him to confront his great nemesis (sand) to save her life and bring himself to the brink of death on behalf of a refugee camp composed of freed tatooine slaves. having fried his suit -- through the bounceback of his own hubris, ultimately -- vader lies incapacitated on the ground when sabé finds him and reveals her own fantasy involves killing him. her ghosts hold her back; padmé stays her hand.

of the humiliations heaped upon him since luke's escape, including the routine of hanging head-down and mostly naked in a bacta tank flanked by observing guards, only this -- this grave insistence from padmé there is good in him -- manages to shake vader.

Darth Vader (2020-) #28, Pak/Ienco/et al -- Vader conjures the elephant of his diminishing power as he dangles hulkingly in his bacta tank in full sight of two guards. Subsequently, he shatters the bacta tank in rage.

unlike the attacks riffed from public records, the private knowledge padmé possessed as she died is one that no one else can see. even sabé admits she can't understand why she chooses to trust it. as for vader's master, we never see him overhearing the padmé recording, he never cites it directly (though he does mock vader for "listening ... to your heart", perhaps a way of dismissing its importance). as in the panopticon the prisoners never know when they are observed, so too does the emperor presumably turn his eye away from time to time, all too certain the name "anakin" has lost all "power" over vader. as in the prison of andor "no one is listening", there is still the quality of a secret in what vader and sabé know about padmé. even if, in his fear of weakness, all vader can see in that secret is death.