#I want Andrew being a sad babe and John being their for him

[blubary]

I'm so sad about the lack of fanfic for Little Hope on ao3. Like, I want an angsty sad hurt/comfort daylor fanfic. But everyone knows I won't write it because I love them too much. I want Daniel getting upset about something and Andrew and Taylor helping him calm down. But I wouldn't know where to start with a fanfic like that lol

[waitimcomingtoo]

Plank All Over Me - Friendship Test Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Plank All Over Me Masterlist

Regular Masterlist

“I’m Chris Pine.” Tom waved to the camera.

“And I’m Nick Cage.” You threw your hands up.

“And we have surprisingly both played a version of Spider-Man.” Tom jeered.

“I personally am not surprised Mr. Nicholas Cage played Spider-Man and I don’t know why you are.” You joked.

“Because he’s Nicholas Cage.” Tom pointed out.

“And he was born to play this role? Jealously is a disease, honey.” You waves your hand in Toms face.

“Don’t say it.” He groaned.

“Get well soon.” You blew him a kiss which he swatted away.

“She said it.” He looked at the camera and sighed.

“I feel like we need to start warning brands that we’ll do a video with them, but the intro is gonna be ten minutes of us fighting and there’s nothing they can do to stop that.” You laughed as you realized you were doing it again.

“We’re doing the Friendship Test with Glamour by the way.” Tom said. “Sorry Glamour for not warning you how difficult we are to work with.”

“We’re also not friends.” You said sarcastically.

“We’re going to be man and wife in a few months.” Tom reminded you.

“That doesn’t mean we’re friends.” You replied. “I also never understood the phrase “man and wife.” Like, you’re still a man but I unlock the secret third gender of “wife”? It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Darling, the only two genders are Coke and Pepsi.” Tom said as if it were obvious.

“Oh, right. My bad.” You laughed.

“Lets start the video.” Tom suggest and clasped his hands together.

“Yea, I think this has been our worst intro yet.” You said apologetically.

“We’re gonna have you guys talk a little about each other in separate rooms first.” A crew member behind the camera told you.

“Oh, okay.” You said as you were lead into the adjacent room.

“Talk to us about Y/n.” Tom was asked in his room.

“Tell us about Tom.” They asked you.

“My favorite thing to talk about.” Tom grinned shyly and looked at his feet.

“Where do I even start?” You shrugged.

“I always say this, not necessarily to her, but she is not a girl you date. She is a girl you marry.” Tom began. “I cannot even imagine dating her and not ending up with her. That’d just be torture and it’d be unfair to all the other girls I came across because I’d always compare them to Y/n.”

“Sometimes, I put his phone on top of the refrigerator when we’re fighting.” You told the camera.

“There is no one in this world who’s more generous.” Tom gushed.

“He’s too short to reach it.” You laughed a little.

“More caring.” He continued.

“It’s really entertaining to watch him try and get it down.” You stated.

“More beautiful.” He listed off.

“He never does.” You shook your head.

“Or more giving than Y/n.” He finished.

“I always have to get it for him.” You chuckled.

“If I didn’t have her, I’d be searching in vain for the rest of my life for something that can give to me what she does.” Tom said sincerely.

“God, he’s also such a bad driver.” You sighed.

“But nothing compares to her.” He professed.

“He runs red lights like it’s his job.” You called him out.

“She completes me and it’s been the greatest joy of my life to love her.” Tom said, getting a little emotional.

“I’m always like “slow down, sonic!” and I honestly don’t even think he can hear me.” You shrugged.

“And to be loved by her.” He smiled.

“He’s crazy.” You said.

“She’s a blessing.” Tom said.

“Thanks guys. We’re gonna return to the first room now for the test.” The crew told you. You were brought back into the room where Tom was ready waiting with a small stack of black cards.

“Exercise one in the friendship test, we have to stare into each other’s eyes for three minutes.” Tom read off a little card. You turned to face each other and instantly smiled.

“Your eyes are so brown.” You commented as you studied them.

“Is that a good thing?” He asked.

“It’s the best thing.” You promised.

“Babydoll. My heart.” He pouted at your complement.

“I never loved brown eyes until I loved you.” You said softly.

“I never loved until I loved you.” He replied.

“Woah. Calm down there, Hamlet. This is Glamour, not our wedding vows.” You laughed shyly at his profession.

“Did you call me Hamlet?” His eyebrows knit together.

“Yeah.” You said as you continued to hold eye contact.

“And not Romeo?” He inquired.

“Why would I call you Romeo?” You asked.

“You’re calling me a famous Shakespearean lover boy and you chose Hamlet over Romeo?” He asked in confusion.

“Romeo was dumb. Oh, then actually yeah, you are Romeo.” You teased.

“If you’re being like this to my face, I can’t wait to hear what sweet things you said about me in the other room.” Tom joked.

“We were supposed to say sweet things?” You asked in a panic.

“She’s kidding.” Tom apologized for you, but you weren’t actually kidding.

“Yes. Kidding.” You lied.

“Has it been three minutes yet? My eyes are so dry.” Tom rubbed around his eyes.

“That makes me think of our plank video.” You smiled when he asked about the time.

“It’s been four.” A crew member told you and your and Tom finally broke eye contact.

“God, I can’t look at this hideous creature any longer.” You joked and Tom pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Exercise two, compliment each other.” You read off the next card.

“We have to write them down first?” Tom asked the crew.

“He’s asking because he can’t read.” You kidded.

“I know you’re joking, but I genuinely can’t read.” He laughed as he began to write down some compliments.

“It’s okay, baby. Do you best.” You laughed back.

“Okay. I’ll go first.” You opened your notepad. “You’re incredibly hard working. You always show appreciation to each and every person you come into contact with. You dedicate everything you have to your work and it really shows with your outstanding performances. You constantly give and never expect anything in return. You’re a great person to have on my team. And your ass is fat.” You read off what you wrote on the notepad.

“Baby, I’m gonna cry. You really think that about my butt?” Tom held a hand over his heart as he played into your joke.

“Yes. And I love your ears. I forgot to put that in there.” You remembered.

“I’ve always been insecure about my ears. You really like them?” He touched one as he looked at you.

“Yes, My Dumbo looking king.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek several times.

“My turn.” Tom laughed at your statement. “I said you’re really good at making tea.” He read off the notepad and stared at you blankly.

“Babe, you didn’t.” You out your hands over your mouth as if you were about to cry.

“I did.” He nodded.

“Stop. You gas me up too much.” You pretended to wipe away tears.

“I have too, baby. No one makes tea the way you do.” He continued his joke.

“My secret is hot water.” You winked at the camera.

“Exercise three, ask anything.” Tom read off another card.

“There’s so much I want to know.” Tom gushed, as if he didn’t already know everything about his fiancé.

“Ask away.” You smiled.

“Who is your favorite actor?” Tom started his questions off.

“Oh, that’s a good question.” You pretended to think about it. “It’s gotta be Ryan Reynolds.”

“Oh, okay.” He nodded curtly. “Well what about your favorite actor named Tom? Preferably Tom H?”

“Easy. Tom Hanks.” You replied with a shrug.

“Let’s try this, favorite British Tom H?” He tried again.

“Tom Hiddleston, duh.” You laughed.

“Okay. Okay. That’s fine. Who’s your favorite actor who has portrayed Spider-Man?” He narrowed the pool.

“Another easy one. It’s obviously John Mulaney.” You said and looked at the crew for their agreement.

“He didn’t play Spiderman.” Tom stated.

“He played Spider-Ham in Into The Spiderverse. You didn’t specify if he had to have portrayed human Spider-Man.” You told Tom.

“Well then who’s your favorite British actor who has played Spider-Man?” Tom asked.

“Oh. I see. This was all a set up to the obvious. My favorite British actor who had played Spider-Man,” you shrugged and Tom smiled, “Andrew Garfield. Is he here? Was this a setup to surprise me with my favorite British actor who’s played Spider-Man?”

“He’s not here.” Tom pretended to be hurt.

“No? Then I have to leave early.” You joked.

“Lucky for you, we’ve completed all the exercises.” Tom said when he realized there were no more cards.

“So they took the fight to the death part out of the test?” You asked in faux sadness.

“I guess they did.” Tom laughed.

“Darn.” You shook your head as Tom wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

“We can still fight to the death when we get home.” He said as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“Promise?” You asked.

“Yes, babygirl. I promise.” Tom pulled you into a hug and rolled his eyes at the camera. “Thank you for watching our Friendship Test.”

“And thank you Glamour for having us.” You said once you pulled out of the hug.

“Who knows? Maybe next time you see us, we’ll be married.” Tom winked at the camera.

“Or divorced.” You deadpanned. “Bye!”

Tag List 🏷

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[puckinghell]

Oooooh I'm so excited for Christmas, how about 94 with Freddie?

you overhear my ex mocking me for being single at a holiday party and introduce yourself as my SO with a kiss on the cheek but we’ve never spoken before

---

Dating your coworker is always a bad idea.

You knew it, and yet, the first time Andrew asked you out you were so overwhelmed by the fact that someone hot like him would, that you said yes, and from that moment on you were never really able to say no. 

It was all great, until it wasn’t.

You broke up last month because Andrew decided he’d much rather fuck random girls in bars, and it was awful not only because you lost your boyfriend but because you still had to work with him. 

You work in the Leafs PR department and so does Andrew. You love your job, although lately you’re spending more time trying to avoid your ex than actually working. You know that’s not good, so it’s your New Years resolution to stop avoiding him.

Luckily, it’s not New Years yet. 

“You can’t avoid him forever, you know,” Danielle says. 

You take another, probably too big, sip of your drink. “But I can sure as hell try,” you mumble. 

The Leafs Christmas party is always a fun time; you love the people you work with - except one - and it’s really one of the only times where you get to chat to the players as people, instead of you wanting something from them for social channels. It’s one of your favorite things about this party, how candid the players are when they’ve got a drink in hand and Mariah Carey is blasting in the background.

Unfortunately, Andrew has been around the players all evening, so you’ve stuck at Danielle’s side and talked a little to Martina, and ignored everyone else. 

It’s nearly midnight and you’re pretty sure you’ve successfully avoided Andrew; you’re standing at the champagne fountain - yes, it’s ridiculous, but it’s the Leafs - when you hear a voice. 

“Hey, Y/N.” 

Fuck.

You twirl around and put on your fakest media smile. “Hello, Andrew. Nice party, huh?” 

“Yes.” Andrew smiles, a little sharp. “Lydia is sure having a good time, aren’t you, babe?” 

Only now so you notice the girl standing at his side. She’s petite and skinny and the exact opposite of you, almost like he did it on purpose.

Maybe he had.

But you refuse to let her be the victim of this, so you send her a tight smile.

“Good. Enjoy your night, Lydia.” You make an effort to walk away but Andrew’s hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you. He lets go immediately, but he has your attention now, and that’s what he wanted.

“Did you not take anyone to the party?” he asks. “No boyfriend? Not even a friend you could convince to come? That’s a bit sad, come on, Y/N, I’m sure you could ask a random guy on the streets and if you mentioned it’s a Leafs party he’d come with you.” 

You’re too flabbergasted to even speak.

Andrew shrugs. “Listen, babe, we’re over. You need to get over it, okay? Pining after me isn’t gonna help.” 

That motherf...

“Hey, babe,” a soft, but firm voice says, and then someone presses a kiss to your cheek and a strong arm wraps around your waist. Then, a lot less soft, almost annoyed: “Oh, Andrew.” 

You look to the side only to find the one and only Freddie Andersen, his smile tight as he stares at your ex, his arm protectively around you. 

So, the thing is, Freddie is one of the big guys, at the Leafs. When it comes to PR hierarchy, you’re just not the one that gets to interview Freddie, just like you won’t interview Mitch or Auston or John. Instead, you talk to rookies and backups.

It doesn’t bother you, but it means you’ve not really ever had a full conversation with Freddie before. Definitely not enough for him to be kissing your cheek and calling you babe. 

It’s strange. 

But then you look at Andrew and his eyes are nearly popping out of his head, pure shock written over his face, and it feels so good to have him stunned like that that you let yourself lean into Freddie’s side a bit more.

“Hi, Fred,” you say, putting on your flirtiest voice; it’s a voice that Andrew knows all too well. “This is Andrew’s new...” You pause, let a silence drop. “Girlfriend? Lydia.” 

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Lydia gawks, shaking Freddie’s hand, and the eyes she’s giving him show that she’s not super interested in being Andrew’s anything, right now.

It feels like victory. 

“Nice to meet you, Lydia,” Freddie says kindly, then a lot more unkindly: “Andrew, you won’t mind if I steal Y/N for a minute?” He doesn’t even wait for Andrew’s answer, instead immediately starts steering you away from him.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, “hope that was okay. I just overheard what he said, and I couldn’t...” He stops. You’re standing with all the other players, now, and Andrew has been left far behind. “He doesn’t deserve to say things like that about you,” Freddie finishes. There’s a deep frown etched into his forehead and he looks genuinely upset.

“Thank you so much, Freddie,” you tell him. “He’s an asshole, and thinking that perhaps someone like you could be interested in someone like me... That’s gonna kill him. Which gives me great joy.” You grin. “So thanks.” 

Freddie’s frown doesn’t disappear. “Someone like you?” he repeats. “Not to be forward, but you’re beautiful, and way out of his league.” He smiles. “Out of mine, too, but I’m still gonna ask if you want to dance.”

And, well, if that ain’t a fucking Christmas miracle, so you nod and let Freddie take you onto the dance floor. 

You’re too lost in Freddie’s eyes to even notice Andrew sulking on the side. 

[pearlposts]

The Best of Soft Rock: More Than A Feeling

 SONG TITLE                                ARTIST       TIME

Lowdown                                     Boz Scaggs    5:18

Whenever I Call You “Friend”  Kenny Loggins    3:18

Piano Man                                    Billy Joel         5:40

Longer                                     Dan Fogelberg    3:18

Miracles                                Jefferson Starship  3:33

Lost in Love                              Air Supply          3:55

More Than I Can Say              Leo Sayer            3:39

Rosanna                                         Toto              4:03

More Than a Feeling                  Boston              3:26

Take It on the Run               REO Speedwagon  3:37

Make Me Lose Control           Eric Carmen         4:48

Total Eclipse of the Heart       Bonnie Tyler         5:35

Living Inside Myself              Gino Vannelli          4:25

The Flame                            Cheap Trick            4:50

Sara                                        Starship               4:23

SONG TITLE                                  ARTIST                   TIME

Livin’ Thing                         Electric Light Orchestra        3:34

This Is It                                   Kenny Loggins                 3:59

Africa                                                Toto                          4:59

Eye In The Sky                      Alan Parsons Project          4:35

Look What You’ve Done to Me       Boz Scaggs                5:18

You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling Daryl Hall & John Oates  4:36

All Out Of Love                              Air Supply                    4:03

Can’t Fight This Feeling           REO Speedwagon            4:55

The Search Is Over                        Survivor                       4:14

All by Myself                               Eric Carmen                    7:11

Without You                               Harry Nilsson                   3:21

Year of the Cat                           Al Stewart                        6:38

Dust in the Wind                         Kansas                            3:27

Vincent                                    Don McLean                       4:01

Please Come to Boston         David Loggins                     4:09

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                  TIME

Baby I’m-a Want You                           Bread                                   2:32

A Horse with No Name                       America                                 4:09

Diamond Girl                                    Seals & Crofts                          4:04

I Saw the Light                                 Todd Rundgren                         3:01

Blinded by the Light                Manfred Mann's Earth Band              3:51

It Might Be You                               Stephen Bishop                          4:14

She’s Gone/Sara Smile/Rich Girl        Hall & Oates                           3:29

Minute By Minute                         The Doobie Brothers                     3:28

Sentimental Lady                                Bob Welch                              3:46

How Much I Feel                                 Ambrosia                                 4:44

Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime The Korgis                               4:12

If You Leave Me Now                          Chicago                                   3:57

Sailing                                        Christopher Cross                             4:17

Waiting For A Girl Like You             Foreigner                                     4:52

Against All Odds                            Phil Collins                                    3:25

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                              TIME

Ride Like the Wind                        Christopher Cross                                  4:32

Saturday in the Park                          Chicago                                              3:57

Sister Golden Hair                              America                                              3:20

You’re So Vain                                Carly Simon                                            4:18

If                                                          Bread                                                  2:35

Ooh Baby Baby                              Linda Ronstadt                                        2:42

Him                                                Rupert Holmes                                         3:40

You Are the Woman                         Firefall                                                    2:45

All I Need                                       Jack Wagner                                             3:32

Walking In Memphis                       Marc Cohn                                                4:19

Making Love Out Of Nothing At All  Air Supply                                                5:01

I Want to Know What Love Is        Foreigner                                                   5:00

The Living Years                    Mike + the Mechanics                                       5:33

Drive                                               The Cars                                                   3:57

One More Night                           Phil Collins                                                   4:48

I’ll Be There                             The Escape Club                                             4:57

SONG TITLE                                                     ARTIST                                TIME

Summer Breeze                                           Seals & Crofts                             3:26

Key Largo                                                     Bertie Higgins                             3:19

Make It with You                                                 Bread                                    3:12

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?     Chicago                               3:22

Dream Weaver                                           Gary Wright                                  4:18

Hello It’s Me                                            Todd Rundgren                                3:52

Sara Smile                                      Daryl Hall and John Oates                       3:12

Chuck E.’s In Love                             Rickie Lee Jones                                  3:28

Black Water                                  The Doobie Brothers                                 4:16

Still the One                                             Orleans                                           3:56

Hurt So Bad                                      Linda Ronstadt                                      3:18

Cool Change                                  Little River Band                                      4:08

Biggest Part Of Me                            Ambrosia                                              5:27

Never Be the Same                    Christopher Cross                                       4:41

You Can Do Magic                           America                                                 3:57

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                                TIME

The Guitar Man                                 Bread                                                   3:45

Tin Man                                           America                                                  3:27

Wildfire                               Michael Martin Murphey                                     4:50

25 or 6 to 4                                  Chicago                                                     4:52

Lotta Love                               Nicolette Larson                                             2:43

What a Fool Believes         The Doobie Brothers                                          2:27

Steal Away                              Robbie Dupree                                              3:31

You’re the Only Woman              Ambrosia                                                   4:22

Sexy Eyes                                Dr. Hook                                                       3:00

Kiss You All Over                       Exile                                                           3:30

Even the Nights Are Better   Air Supply                                                       3:59

Arthur’s Theme                  Christopher Cross                                             3:55

Dance with Me                       Orleans                                                         3:21

Beautiful in My Eyes            Joshua Kadison                                              4:10

Black Velvet                        Alannah Myles                                                 4:48

SONG TITLE                        ARTIST                                                         TIME

California Dreamin’      The Mamas & The Papas                                       2:54

Kokomo                        The Beach Boys                                                     3:36

Ventura Highway             America                                                               3:32

Listen to the Music      The Doobie Brothers                                               3:27

I Can See Clearly Now     Johnny Nash                                                     2:43

It Never Rains in Southern California  Albert Hammond                             3:38

Thank You For Being A Friend            Andrew Gold                                   4:45

Everything I Own                                    Bread                                           3:07

When Will I Be Loved                     Linda Ronstadt                                     2:10

I Keep Forgettin’                         Michael McDonald                                    3:41

Baby Come Back                               Player                                                2:16

Circle in the Sand                       Belinda Carlisle                                         4:27

Hold On                                     Wilson Phillips                                            3:41

I’ll Be Over You                              Toto                                                        3:50

Just the Way It Is, Baby          The Rembrandts                                          ��4:09

 SONG TITLE                            ARTIST                                                     TIME

We Don’t Talk Anymore       Cliff Richard                                                      4:13

Baker Street                       Gerry Rafferty                                                     2:13

When Your in Love with a Beautiful Woman  Dr. Hook                                  2:56

Fool (If You Think It’s Over)       Chris Rea                                                     3:33

You’re No Good                     Linda Ronstadt                                                 3:46

Reminiscing                        Little River Band                                                 3:17

The Air That I Breathe           The Hollies                                                       4:12

Sad Eyes                            Robert John                                                        1:55

I Go Crazy                          Paul Davis                                                           5:23

Hearts                                Marty Balin                                                           4:19

These Dreams                     Heart                                                                  4:17

Jessie                           Joshua Kadison                                                         4:22

Release Me                   Wilson Phillips                                                          3:54

The Doctor                 The Doobie Brothers                                                    3:45

SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                               TIME

Maggie May                Rod Stewart                                                               5:15

Higher and Higher      Rita Coolidge                                                             4:01

Whatcha Gonna Do?  Pablo Cruise                                                              4:15

I’m in You                   Peter Frampton                                                           4:11

Drift Away                     Dobie Gray                                                              3:56

More Love                   Kim Carnes                                                               3:37

Babe                             Styx                                                                         4:01

Into The Night        Benny Mardones                                                            4:31

It’s a Heartache       Bonnie Tyler                                                                 3:45

While You See a Chance   Steve Winwood                                                 4:06

Show Me the Way       Peter Frampton                                                        2:30

Fooled Around and Fell in Love    Elvin Bishop                                           4:37

Lonesome Loser           Little River Band                                                     3:54

I’m Not in Love                10 CC                                                                    6:07

I Just Wanna Stop         Gino Vannelli                                                           3:37

SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                              TIME

Daniel                          Elton John                                                                3:53

I Need You                   America                                                                    3:07

I Can Dream About You    Dan Hartman                                                       4:11

Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                            3:54

I’d Really Love to See You Tonight  England Dan & John Ford Coley          2:38

On and On                 Stephen Bishop                                                          3:01

Tempted                        Squeeze                                                                  4:01

The Things We Do For Love   10 CC                                                           3:31

The Best of Times           Styx                                                                      4:18

Cry                       Godley and Creme                                                          3:55

Your Wildest Dreams   The Moody Blues                                                    4:51

Higher Love                 Steve Winwood                                                       5:46

More Than Words           Extreme                                                               5:36

I’d Do Anything for Love    Meat Loaf                                                          5:17

Do You Feel Like We Do      Peter Frampton                                              7:20

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME

So In to You             Atlanta Rhythm Section                                             4:23

Fly, Robin, Fly           Silver Connection                                                     3:50

Sentimental Lady        Bob Welch                                                              3:46

Show And Tell             Al Wilson                                                                 3:29

Wild Flower             The New Birth                                                             3:59

Delta Dawn             Helen Reddy                                                               3:09

American Pie          Don McLean                                                                8:35

Rock Me Gently      Andy Kim                                                                     3:29

Go All The Way      The Raspberries                                                          3:22

Mr. Big Stuff            Jean Knight                                                                 2:49

Oh Babe, What Would You Say     Hurricane Smith                                   3:26

Hooked On A Feeling     Blue Swede                                                         2:53

 Having My Baby           Paul Anka                                                             2:33

Last Song                     Edward Bear                                                          3:13

The Streak                   Ray Stevens                                                           3:18

SONG TITLE                  ARTIST                                                               TIME

Rhinestone Cowboy   Glen Campbell                                                         3:16

Too Late To Turn Back Now  Cornelius Brothers And Sister Rose             3:20

Boogie Fever             The Sylvers                                                              3:30

Reminiscing            Little River Band                                                         3:17

I Just Want To Celebrate    Rare Earth                                                      2:54

One Bad Apple           The Osmonds                                                         2:43

Have You Never Been Mellow   Olivia Newton-John                                 3:33

Magic                            Pilot                                                                      3:05

Boogie Oogie Oogie     A Taste of Honey                                                  3:38

Right Back Where We Started From   Maxine Nightingale                        3:15

Sad Eyes                        Robert John                                                        1:55

Gonna Fly Now                Bill Conti                                                            2:48

My Sharona                  The Knack                                                            4:02

You Sexy Thing          Hot Chocolate                                                        4:05

Puppy Love               Donny Osmond                                                       3:06

SONG TITLE                 ARTIST                                                              TIME

Love Train                  The O'Jays                                                              2:58

Knock Three Times     Dawn                                                                      2:55

Brandy                    Looking Glass                                                             3:04

Little Willy                  Sweet                                                                       3:12

Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me    Mac Davis                                              3:06

Take Me Home, Country Roads    John Denver                                         3:13

It Never Rains in Southern California   Albert Hammond                           3:38

Brand New Key                Melanie                                                              2:26

Come and Get Your Love       Redbone                                                      3:32

More. More, More (Part 1)      Andrea True Connection                              3:02

I Can See Clearly Now         Johnny Nash                                                  2:43

Everybody Plays the Fool     The Main Ingredient                                       3:22

Indian Reservation             Paul Revere & The Raiders                              2:52

The Cover of “Rolling Stone”   Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show                2:55

When Will I See You Again      The Three Degrees                                     3:00

SONG TITLE                           ARTIST                                                      TIME

Rich Girl                    Daryl Hall and John Oates                                        2:23

Lady Marmalade                    LaBelle                                                         3:21

Best of My Love              The Emotions                                                      3:41

Fire                             The Pointer Sisters                                                  3:28

Miracles                        Jefferson Starship                                                 3:33

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing    Leo Sayer                                            2:51

Here You Come Again         Dolly Parton                                                   2:58

Disco Lady                        Johnnie Taylor                                                  4:25

Saturday Night                Bay City Rollers                                                  2:56

Rock On                           David Essex                                                      3:26

Wildfire                  Michael Martin Murphey                                              4:50

You Take My Breath Away   Rex Smith                                                    3:15

I Go Crazy                      Paul Davis                                                         5:23

Stumblin’ In        Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman                                      3:31

Torn Between Two Lovers    Mary MacGregor                                         3:44

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown     Jim Croce                                                         3:00

Don’t Pull Your Love     Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds                          2:41

Love Will Keep Us Together  Captain and Tennille with Neil Sedaka        3:24

Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song  B.J. Thomas             3:22

She’s A Lady                 Tom Jones                                                           2:51

How Do You Do?       Mouth & MacNeal                                                   4:07

Black and White        Three Dog Night                                                      3:51

Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                        3:54

Drift Away                 Dobie Gray                                                              3:56

It’s a Love Beat     The DeFranco Family                                                 3:09

I’m in You               Peter Frampton                                                          4:11

The Candy Man     Sammy Davis, Jr.                                                      3:10

Spiders & Snakes   Jim Stafford                                                              3:05

Billy, Don’t Be A Hero  Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods                       3:40

The Morning After     Maureen McGovern                                                2:20

SONG TITLE                                   ARTIST                                          TIME

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves          Cher                                               2:36

Maggie May                                Rod Stewart                                         5:15

Baby Come Back                            Player                                              2:16

I Just Wanna Stop                   Gino Vannelli                                           3:37

Jackie Blue                 Ozark Mountain Daredevils                                  3:37

Higher And Higher               Rita Coolidge                                              4:01

I’m Not in Love                           10 CC                                                   6:07

Y.M.C.A.                               Village People                                            3:45

Will It Go Round in Circles     Billy Preston                                              3:46

I Just Want to Be Your Everything   Andy Gibb                                        3:44

Do You Wanna Make Love        Peter McCann                                        4:01

Signs                            Five Man Electrical Band                                    4:02

Disco Duck                              Rick Dees                                                3:14

Montego Bay                       Bobby Bloom                                               2:55

If I Can’t Have You            Yvonne Elliman                                              3:00

SONG TITLE                         ARTIST                                                     TIME

Play That Funky Music      Wild Cherry                                                    3:16

One Toke Over the Line    Brewer & Shipley                                            3:21

Afternoon Delight          Starland Vocal Band                                           3:14

Life is a Rock                      Reunion                                                        3:31

I Can Help                         Billy Swan                                                       2:57

My Maria                       B.W. Stevenson                                                  2:31

Magnet and Steel            Walter Egan                                                     3:25

Beach Baby                    First Class                                                         2:42

The Rapper                   The Jaggerz                                                        2:45

Brother Louie                  Stories                                                               3:57

Precious and Few            Climax                                                              2:46

O-o-h Child               The 5 Stairsteps                                                      3:15

Playground in My Mind    Clint Holmes                                                     2:57

Put Your Hand In The Hand   Ocean                                                        2:53

Please Come to Boston    David Loggins                                                  4:09

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                         TIME

Turn The Beat Around    Vicki Sue Robinson                                            3:24

Ring My Bell                     Anita Ward                                                        3:31

Sometimes When We Touch   Dan Hill                                                      2:22

Rose Garden               Lynn Anderson                                                      2:49

In The Summertime      Mungo Jerry                                                         3:37

Seasons in the Sun      Terry Jacks                                                           3:30

The Night Chicago Died   Paper Lace                                                       3:32

Rock The Boat            Hues Corporation                                                  3:09

Don’t Give Up on Us        David Soul                                                        3:39

Kung Fu Fighting         Carl Douglas                                                         3:17

Love Grows                Edison Lighthouse                                                  2:51

Sweet Mary              Wadsworth Mansion                                                 2:42

The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia   Vicki Lawrence                     3:36

TSOP             MFSB featuring the Three Degrees                                   3:35

Feelings                    Morris Albert                                                            3:45

[aint-nodenying]

album talk

summary: y/n tlaks about her album, but she can’t help but talk about her boyfriend.

word count: 2,186

to request or ask me anything, ask here: x

requests are: open

and my masterlist is here: x

You waved to all of the camera crew, walking into the interview set and sitting on your designated chair. Placing your Starbucks tea onto the ground next to the chair, you smoothed out your skirt before jumping onto the tall chair. You played on your phone a little bit before hearing the door open, indicating someone coming into the room. You put your phone under your leg before smiling warmly at the stranger and standing to shake her hand.

“Hello, Y/N! I’m Amanda with E! News and I’m here to interview you today, how have you been?” the woman asked before turning her head to watch her footing to her chair. You smiled enthusiastically back before clapping happily.

“I’m so, so great today! How’re you doing? I’m Y/N L/N, nice to meet you.” the woman giggled nervously before tucking her hair behind her hair.

“I know who you are, I love your music so much. Your new album is so fantastic,” she breathed out. You blushed before slapping your hands onto your cheeks to cover the warmth. 

“You’re a right babe, aren’t you? Just here to make my cheeks burn off.” the cameraman cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attentions and gave the all-clear to begin the interview. You both adjusted yourselves one last time before starting.

“Hi there, I’m Amanda Hoffman here with Y/N L/N to talk about her new album, Snap Back. How are you doing today, Y/N?” you smiled before clasping your hands together to hang over your knees loosely.

“I’m doing so good, how are you?” you swung your legs back and forth, completely relaxed.

“I’m doing great, thank you. Anyways, your new album, Snap Back is a huge hit in forty-three countries, and at number one on Billboard Top 40’s, your new song, Bad Ideas. How do you feel?” you sucked in air through your teeth before nodding slowly.

“You know, it all feels a bit surreal. I mean in no way have I ever expected me to be this successful, especially with a song that I’ve had half-written for the past three years. But yeah, it feels great, I’m proud of me, my family is proud, all of the loved ones are just overjoyed, really.” Amanda gleamed with pride at your words and glanced down at her questions.

“Yes, obviously we know who it’s written about, and you said that it’s been written since 2016? Is that when-” you nodded interrupting her.

“Yeah, when I met Tom? Yeah, when I first starting seeing Tom - Tom Holland, by the way, for anyone who didn’t know - when I started seeing him romantically, hell even before then, I just knew that he was it for me so I just started writing. But I’ll admit, life did get a little chaotic, what with his new movies and with me helping other artists with their music, so I had to put the song aside for a while, but I just got into the groove again a couple of months again so I just finished it along with a couple of other songs.”

“Yes, so could you tell us about the other songs as well?” you nodded and leaned down to grasp your drink in your hands before rattling off the songs.

“Yeah, the first song is obviously Bad Ideas, it’s about me being so in love with my boyfriend that it might seem a bit disrespectful to others, it’s that disgusting. It‘s just a song really about all of my feelings towards him and how I just love him so much that I’d really do things that would embarrass me or him just to show him my feelings,” you take a sip out of your cup before placing it on your knee.

“The second song isn’t me singing, it’s actually my dear friend, Andrew John Hozier-Byrne, and it’s called To Noise Making - and in parentheses, Sing. I was backing him in vocals but I helped him write it. It’s just basically about how singing is just a safe place for us, about how it’s kind of medicine in our worst times, and how we encourage you, ‘hey, even if you can’t sing, it’s bound to make you feel better - just sing.’” Amanda nodded, leaning on her arm chair causing it to creak obnoxiously.

“And how was it to work with Hozier?” you shrugged, taking another sip of your drink, clearing your throat.

“I mean, I really love him, he’s one of my best friends and he thinks of lyrics so gracefully, and much different than how most artists come up with lyrics. It’s really amazing to see him work and to work with him.” you nodded before furrowing your brows and fluttering your lips.

“Let’s see, third song, third song. Oh, yes, my third song was also not completely mine - my main goal with this album was to showcase talent so of course most of my songs were collaborations with artists, only about three out of seven songs were totally and completely mine. The third song was written with my beautiful babies, Little Mix. We wrote Joan of Arc together, and it’s really just a kind of feminist song and really body-positive. Honestly, when we heard it in its final cut for the first time, I bawled like a baby. It makes anyone feel good about themselves and it made me proud to listen to them, they’re really independent ladies who know their worth. That’s really rare nowadays, what with media corrupting beauty standards for our youth.” Amanda nodded passionately, and with a furrow in her brow, she smacked her knee.

“Yes, when I listened to that song, obviously it’s exciting and loud, but the lyrics just really make anyone feel like a powerful woman.” you nodded and waved your arms toward her as if to prove a point.

“Exactly, see that’s what we were aiming for. Anyways, the next song is a cover of the Elton John song, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart with the one and only, Taron Egerton. Obviously, it was for the movie Rocketman - which by the way, if you haven’t watched it, have you been living under a rock?” you directed towards the camera. “But let me just say that Tom and I have an apartment in London and in it I have a home studio. All of my collaborations were created in my apartment and honestly, Taron Egerton is the wildest man I have ever had the pleasure of being around. I love the man and he is a gift to this world. Also, the cover was for a movie, but I dedicate it to my boyfriend because I’m a sap and I love him.”

Amanda laughed before glancing back down at her notes. “And the last two songs?”

You nodded sagely, flipping your foot and resting it once more. “Ah yes, my heartbreak song. My one, Lie To Me, is about an old flame that I had a while ago, who cheated on me. Obviously, it was sad and I haven’t thought about it in a long time since I’ve been happy in a relationship, but I don’t think an album is complete without a variety of songs. So I had to dig up some old memories to make a bomb-ass song. 

And my last one is called Hey Look Ma, I Made It. It’s a song about my success in the music industry, and it’s just kind of a childish pride where you’re really proud of something you made so you immediately brag to your mum, and that’s what I wrote a song about. Although, if you listen to the lyrics, it shows a lot of phrases that suit a much older person, especially since I’m a twenty-three-year-old, but that’s because my dear friend Brenden Urie helped me with a few lyrics.” Amanda smiled happily and shuffled her cards. 

“Obviously, you had a busy year, but you work fast. You’ve been writing your album, but you also helped a ton of other artists write their songs as well, is that correct?” you nodded. “Could you name a few?”

Your eyebrows raised and you let out a hefty sigh. “Just this year?” you asked her. She nodded and you shrugged softly. “I mean, I helped a lot with Ariana Grande’s Sweetener album, I helped with some of Machine Gun Kelly’s music, some of Shawn Mendes, Some of Hozier, I’ve helped with quite a few, but songs that I’ve written for artists might be ones that the public may recognize. I wrote successful, sweetener, and R.E.M off of Ariana’s album, I wrote bad guy for Billie Eilish, Short Kings Anthem for blackbear and Cody and Noel - that was incredibly fun. Just to name a few.”

Amanda hissed as well, raising her eyebrows. “Well, you’ve certainly had a busy couple of years. I know that we’re running out of time, and I know that this is about your album, but can we talk about you and Tom Holland?” You sighed out of relief.

“Oh god, yes. You don’t know how many times a day I want to explode talking about him.” Amanda giggled, waving her arms.

“So you’ve been dating for three years,” you nod in response. “How is it still waking up to him every day?” you sigh sadly before uncrossing your legs to cross it the opposite way.

“Yeah, recently he’s been filming so I haven’t seen as much of him as I want to - although he’s here with me today - every day I see him, my heart still beats faster and I still get butterflies in my stomach, same as when we first kissed.” Amanda’s eyes widened and she slapped her hands onto her chair arms.

“Wait, Tom is here right now?” you nod and point towards the door.

“Yeah, he’s hiding outside. Do you want me to bring him in here?” Amanda nods savagely and you pull your phone from under your leg to text him to come into the room.

Minutes later, Tom enters the room in a baseball cap and a t-shirt. He walks towards you looking at his phone, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You lean up to kiss his cheek and wrap your arms around his middle.

“Hello, handsome. Find your way here alright?” He nodded, looking up from his phone for a minute to smirk at you and to press a quick peck to your lips. Amanda squealed in excitement and stuck out her hand.

“Hello, I’m Amanda, nice to meet you, I love you guys.” Tom smiles and takes her hand, shaking it gently.

“Hello, I’m Tom, it’s good to hear that,” he looks back at you. “Why am I here? Are we going to be spilling tea about our relationship? I hate her everyone, she makes my life a living hell. She refuses to do her laundry!” he yells into your mic that you’re hooked onto. You shake your head and smack his lightly.

“No, you div. We’re here to talk about how happy we are, so make it look like we’re happy. Besides. I may not do laundry but you don’t do the fucking dishes, so fuck off.” he giggles and wraps his other arm around your chest so he could hug you properly. You roll your eyes and allow your arms to go limp. Amanda claps her hands with glee but then pouts afterward.

“Unfortunately, my time here is finished so everyone, go listen to Snap Back, and go watch Avengers: Endgame in theatres! Again, this is Amanda Hoffman, and you’ve been watching with E! News.” She looked away from the camera and looked at you guys with a smile.

“It was a pleasure talking with you, Amanda. Unfortunately, I’ve gotta cut this interaction short so this man-child can go play FIFA with his friends and brothers.” Amanda shook her head frantically and waved her hands as if waving away a fly.

“Not a problem at all, Y/N. It was a real privilege to speak with you.” You glare at her and smack the air.

“Pish posh, don’t speak like I’m the Queen. It’s no privilege to talk to me no more than it is to talk to you,” you look away from here to look at the camera crew. “Anyways, thank you guys so much for what you do, I hope you all have a nice day.” 

You and Tom walk away to the hotel lobby to meet with Harrison and Harry, intertwined hands swinging back and forth between you.

“I heard how you talked about me in there. Are you going to apologize for being so disrespectful?” you shrug and smile slyly at him.

“Not really. What are you gonna do about it?” you ask him as you both slip into the elevator. He smirks and pulls you forcefully into him, one hand on your lower back and the other pulling on the hair at the nape of your neck to pull your head back. He trailed his nock along your throat, placing soft kisses on your collarbones.

“Don’t sass me, baby. Little girls who tease their daddies get in trouble.”

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Guess the song bb

Okie dokie friendos. I have been gone for a while because health is important apparently?? Who woulda guessed it. Anyway I was sick and sad but nOW I’M BACK BBS. William Nylander doing the keke challenge or whatever the fuck it’s called. Also was inspired by Jenna and Julien podcast games sooooo here is the result. Hope you enjoy. Or don’t. Up to you really but I like the way it turned out so rad *Finger guns at you*

“Hey babe?” William asked coming into the room and sitting beside me on the counter where I was baking some peanut butter cookies.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something? You can feel free to say no but it could be fun.”

“What is it Willy?” he had peaked my interest with this. You could never tell what he would ask, it was always a surprise.

“Weeeell you know the Leaf Nation website?”

“Yeah of course. What does that have to do with me though?”

“The producers thought it would be a fun idea to bring our girls for a show.”

“What kind of show?”

“Ours specifically would be a game seeing if I can guess your favourite songs. All of them would be games like that but ours is music because you like it a lot and honestly I think they think I’m going to be bad at it.” he said laughing at the end.

“I would love to do that baby, it sounds fun.”

“Okay good because I kinda already said we would do it.” he had a sheepish smile and I just hit his arm with a dish towel.

“You knew I’d say yes.” I stood in between his legs and hugged him. “I can never say no to you.”

“I know, it’s cute.” he said giving me a chaste kiss before jumping down from the counter. “Now you should maaaybe make a song list because we film this thing on Tuesday.”

“William! It’s Monday today!”

“Well I mean you’ve got all evening and tomorrow morning.”

“How long does this list have to be?”

“Probably about 50 songs roughly?”

“Oh my god..okay. I’ll do it after my cookies are done.”

The next day William woke me up much too early for my liking. To be fair I asked him to so I could make myself look presentable for this shoot. I was in the bathroom sitting on the floor curling my hair when he poked his head in, leaning on the door frame.

“Why are you doing all of this?”

“I don’t want to embarass you by looking like a bridge troll for all the fans.”

“You don’t ever look like a bridge troll. You’re beautiful always.”

“Shut up.” I said quietly rolling my eyes.

“It’s true babes. I’m going to make breakfast while you get ready.”

“Okay sounds good bean.” a little while after William left I had finally finished curling my hair. Or so I had thought. It had completely fallen straight again because I forgot to put hairspray in. I took a deep breath and put the curling iron down. I was really frustrated and pouty. It was still early, I could pout if I wanted to. I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and shoved my face into Willy’s back making him laugh.

“Hi there.”

“Hi.” I said mumbling into his back.

“What’s the matter (Y/N)?”

“Look at my dumb hair.” he turned around to see the half straight hair and the hair that was currently straightening itself.

“Oh baby, you forgot to put in hairspray in between layers didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” I said pouting again.

“No need to pout darling.”

“I just want to look pretty and not embarrass you but nothing is working out this morning.”

“You don’t ever embarrass me. Never. You could go in a big sweater with the hood up and leggings and you’d still look beautiful.”

“I might just have to be cozy today..” he came over and grabbed my face with his hands.

“I love when you dress cozy. You always look so damn cute.” he gave me a little kiss and I smiled into it. “Now go get dressed while I finish your breakfast you cutiepie.”

“Okay.” I kissed him again and went upstairs to find my favourite leggings. I quickly found them and put them on. I then went through the closet to try to find a big sweater. Mine were all dirty so I took one of William’s Leafs long sleeve shirts. It was huge on me but it looked cute and I was cozy so I didn’t care much. I put on a beanie and ran back downstairs.

“Wooooooow! Cutest lady I’ve ever seen.”

“Noo be quiet.” I said covering my smile with my sweater paws making him smile wider as he brought the food to the table.

After breakfast we lounged around for a little bit before we started driving to the ACC. We got there about 30 minutes before we started shooting and just hung out again for a little while. I put lavs on me and William while we were just waiting around and got them synced to the camera. William and Kasperi were teasing me for knowing how to do it all, but the cameraman who was running late appreciated the heck out of me. A few minutes later I was sitting across a small table from William.

“Okay so Will, you’re going to introduce yourself and (y/n) and say what we’re doing in this video. (y/n) can jump in if she wants but we just want you guys to interact like you normally do.”

“Alright.” he said.

“No problem.” I said smiling to him. And then we were being counted in.

“Hi guys I’m William Nylander and this is my beautiful girl (y/f/n). We’re going to be playing a game today right babe?”

“Yeah! It’s a fun game where we find out just how much attention Willy pays to what’s going on around him. I’ve made a list of my favourite songs and he has to guess them from bits and pieces of the songs.”

“Okay but do I just have to get the song?”

“Nah boi, you need the artist too.”

“Are you actually joking?” he asked smile dropping.

“No bb. You gotta get them both.”

“Pfft that’s fine.”

“Yeah okay.” I said sarcastically rolling my eyes at him. I pulled my legs up on the chair and got ready to start the game. “Are you ready to start ya big baby?”

“I guuuess.” he said sighing.

“Okay. Just a heads up none of the artists repeat, and they’re songs I’ve liked since the 10th grade until last week.”

“I hate it here.”

“Loooove yooou.” I say blowing him a kiss.

“Alright whatever let’s just start this game.” he said laughing.

“Are you ready?”

“Um yeah I’m gonna crush it.”

“We’ll see I guess. Here’s the first song. If you don’t get it I’m going to be personally insulted.” I put on the part of Fergalicious when Fergie is doing her fast rap part. He listened carefully for a few seconds.

“That’s Fergalicious by Fergie. Predictable to say the least.”

“Yeah you got it!”

“You made me learn it so you wouldn’t have to sing all parts by yourself there was no way I wouldn’t have gotten that one.” he said laughing and smiling sweetly at you.

“Okay next song!” I put on dancing in the street by David Bowie and Mick Jagger. I stopped it after a few seconds. “Alright cutie, what’s the song?”

“That’s all I get?!”

“That’s plenty!”

“Oh god.” he said putting his face in his hands. “Um...is it..is it David Bowie?”

“He’s one of the people in it. Who’s the other and what’s the song?”

“I honestly have no clue (y/n).”

“Disappointing. Dancing in the streets by Mick Jagger and David Bowie.”

“Whatever, next.” he said brushing it off.

“Okay baby what’s this one?”

“Sos from mama mia. It’s Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan.” he said after the opening half a second of piano.

“Yeah!”

“I knew there would be a mama mia one on here. You���re obsessed.”

“Nooo I just love it. Anyway next song.” I put on a part of this song where there was no lyrics at all just instrumentals and William sighed.

“I know that’s Halsey but I don’t know which one.”

“Take a guess.”

“Which one is the strange one? Strange love?”

“Yes you go babe!”

“Yes! Alright let’s go.” he reached over for a high five and I hit his hand with me shirt covered hand making him giggle. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut uuuuup.” I played the next song and William just looked confused.

“I think this is beach boys. You like them a lot.”

“You’re right it is the beach boys but which one?” he looked more confused as he thought. “William Nylander you can’t be serious. Come on babe you have to know this..”

“Surfing USA?”

“Oh. My. God.” I said resting my hand over my eyes. “Willy. I first heard this song on baby muppets the day my brother was born.”

“OH! Kokomo!”

“Yes. You don’t get the point though. That was pitiful.”

“Boo you.” he said pouting and I stuck my tongue out putting on the next few songs. He had gotten 10 in a row wrong and he was getting annoyed and I was laughing so hard I was crying.

“Okay baby let me give you an easy one.”

“You said that about the last 3.” I put the song on and he listened carefully.

“Come on I’ve been listening to this song for like a week straight on repeat.”

“It’s do it with you but I don’t know his name..is it Andrew something?”

“Yeah it’s Andrew Hyatt. I’ll give you that one. Good job lemur.”

“Thank you lemur.”

“Here’s another easy one.”

“You literally got that song from me. Take it or leave it by great good fine ok.”

“You got it! I didn’t think you would since you didn’t get how I want ya and I got that from you too.”

“You be quiet little missy.” he said winking at me.

“Okay next.” I went to the song and pushed play. “If you don’t get this we’re getting a divorce.”

“We aren’t even married!” he said laughing super hard. The song started and he started singing along to the la’s in crocodile rock. I did too, but I had been singing along to all of them. “That’s the crocodile rock by Elton John.”

“Yeah bb!”

“Yay no divorce.”

“Silly Willy we aren’t even married. Dummy.” he laughed again and he cried a little from laughing so hard. “Okay next.”

“No fair. This isn’t even in English (y/n).”

“So what’s the name of the song?”

“I have absolutely no idea. I don’t understand one word of this to even guess.”

“Do you know who sings it?”

“I think Nicky Jam.”

“Yes! It’s X. Solarte’s walk up song.”

“Baseball?” I nodded smiling. “Classic. I’m not shocked about that at all honestly.”

“Here’s the next one.” I put it on and started dancing to it dramatically making William laugh.

“That’s Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. Baby’s favourite MJ song.”

“Truuuuue. Okay here try this one.”

“Okay this song is a lie. You absolutely do NOT beg for attention in small doses. You want to literally overdose on attention.”

“Um wow spilling the tea all over me. Rude.”

“It’s loverboy by you me at six.”

“Yes.” I said shortly putting on the next song.

“This is 100% loveshack.”

“Are you kidding? Are you actually dumb?”

“No come on this is definitely loveshack by the b-52’s.”

“It’s the B-52’s but it isn’t loveshack.” I said laughing really hard. “Holy shit I’m crying.”

“Okay then what song is it smarty pants?”

“Rock Lobster. It’s rock lobster.”

“Fake news.”

“You can’t just claim fake news on facts!” I said laughing harder.

“Rock lobsters are fake news.” I started hiccuping in my laughter and then he knew he messed up. “Oh shit she’s in a mood now. Should we stop filming until she calms down?” the crew shook their heads. William shrugged and turned back to me making me erupt into giggles again. After about 20 minutes of me annoying everyone on the set I finally got myself calmed down enough to continue.

“Um okay here’s the next one..” I said brushing tears out of my eyes. I pushed play and waited for Willy to guess it.

“Oooh that’s yeah by my man Usher.”

“Yup you got it.”

“I know my Usher.”

“I know you do hun.” I said with a small smile. “Here guess this one.”

“Oooooo it’s Brittany bitch! Toxic by Brittany Spears?”

“Yeah boi.” I said chuckling quietly. We went through quite a few more pretty quickly. William got a mix of right and wrong. “Okay last one Willy.”

“I’m so ready babe.”

“Saved the best for last.”

“Now I’m worried.” he said while I pushed play and bit my thumb with a big smile waiting for it. “Oh my god I hate you.” he said putting his head in his hands.

“Do you know it?”

“You’re a shit.” he said with a smile.

“Do you know it?”

“Yes I know it. Unfortunately.” I giggled a little bit. “It’s Mr. Flaming hot cheeto head. Lil Yachty. And by the complex words I’m going to guess it’s called Good day.”

“You’s right lemuuur!”

“Good now turn this off before everyone’s ears start bleeding.”

“Oh my god it happened one time William.” I said crossing my arms and standing up wakling over to him.

“One time too many.” he said pulling me to sit on one of his thighs.

“I stopped listening to it that loud and it never happened again. I already apologized to Kapi like 9 million times.”

“I know baby. I love you.”

“Love you.” I said putting my head on his shoulder.

“Okay guys this has been a lot of fun. I think (y/n) now knows that I do pay attention.”

“Like half attention.”

“Well how am I supposed to pay full attention to music when I want to pay full attention to you singing and dancing?”

“Oh my gooooood. William that’s so cute it’s gross.” I said giggling again.

“Okay well bye guys.”

“Bye thank you for having me.” I say smiling to the camera.

[newyorktheater]

  Check out:

Favorite stage performances in 2019.

Top 10 Lists of Top 10 Theater in 2019.

Best Broadway Cast Recording of 2019.

Top 10 Theater of the Decade.

Worst Theater of the Decade.

  People who engaged with the arts frequently had a 31 percent lower risk of dying, according to a new study from the British Medical Journal. This was independent of demographic, socioeconomic, health related, behavioral, and social factors. Even those who were infrequent consumers of culture had 14 percent lower risk of dying than shoe who never engaged.

The Journal’s editors observe:”The data show that the very people who have the most to gain from participating in cultural activities are least likely to do so. More than 40% of patients with lung disease, depression, or loneliness reported never engaging with the arts despite robust evidence of the potential benefits. Over 40% of participants in the least wealthy group also reported that they never accessed cultural activities. Work must now be done to ensure that the health benefits of these activities are accessible to those who would benefit most.”

The Week in NY Theater Previews and Reviews

The Sorceress The Sorceress (Di Kishefmakherin), the first work of Yiddish theatre ever presented in America, is back on stage in New York 136 years after its U.S. premiere. In my article for TDF Stages, Yiddish Culture Is Alive and Well and Playing in New York, I talk to Motl and Mikhl, the director of the play and the star, who portrays the wicked witch, Bobe Yakhne, in drag. Though Babe is the villain, she is the title character.

The Sorceress, by the same company that put together the acclaimed “Fiddler on the Roof” in Yiddish, is just one of three events this month that demonstrate a resurgence in interest in Yiddish language and culture.

Luke Kirby as stationmaster Thomas Hudetz in “Judgment Day” at the Park Avenue Armory

Judgment Day with Luke Kirby Luke Kirby, who portrayed a movie star hired to play “Hamlet” in the cult TV comedy “Slings & Arrows” 16 years ago, is now on stage for real, as Thomas Hudetz, a murderer in Ödön von Horváth’s 1937 drama “Judgement Day” at the Park Avenue Armory.

Kirby has lived in New York for some two decades now, but has only appeared in a handful of plays, spending most of his time in television — currently as the real-life comic Lenny Bruce in Amazon’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” for which he won an Emmy earlier this year, and as closeted civil servant Gene Goldman on HBO’s “The Deuce.” Why so few stage roles…and why this one now?

Those are the questions I put to him in an interview for TDF Stages.

Ian McKellen as Gus the Theatre Cat in “Cats,” co-written and directed by Tom Hooper.

Cats the movie – pics and reviews Cats” isn’t for everyone – much of it is a cheesy, B-grade affair seemingly crafted solely to take over midnight-movie slots from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,’ Those with an open mind, though, as well as little kids and the T-Swift posse, might find it somewhat pawesome.” Brian Truitt writes in USA Today, in the most positive review I could find. He’s enchanted by Taylor Swift, but turned off by the “nightmare fuel…when human faces are put on tiny mice and Rockette-esque cockroaches.”

More typical is Manohla Dargis in the New York Times: “It is tough to pinpoint when the kitschapalooza called “Cats” reaches its zenith or its nadir, which are one and the same. The choices are legion…

Sing Street

“Sing Street” is a stage musical based on the sweet, funny “happy-sad” 2016 Irish movie by writer/director John Carney about a teenager named Conor growing up in Dublin during the economically depressed but musically vibrant 1980s, who forms a band to impress a girl name Raphina. The musical has its pleasures, especially for those nostalgic for the era of made-for-MTV, New Wave synthesized tunes. A talented group of young adult actor-musicians, ages 16 to 25, perform mostly original pastiche songs by Carney and Scottish singer-songwriter Gary Clark, who was part of the 80s scene and continues his hit-making now. But “Sing Street” the stage musical is likely to disappoint anybody who has seen “Sing Street” the movie (which is currently available for viewing online, through IMDB TV, for free.)

  The Week in New York Theater News

The opening of West Side Story has been pushed from from February 6 to February 20 due to a knee injury that left the show’s star Isaac Powell unable to perform. The show began preview peformancs on December 10

.@mockingbirdbway will be the first-ever Broadway show to perform at @TheGarden on February 26, 2020, in front of some 18,000 New York City public school students. Here’s playwright Aaron Sorkin and the new cast posing at the arena. pic.twitter.com/txrecILSJm

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) December 18, 2019

..@TheCrownNetflix stars Claire Foy and Matt Smith will perform in @SleeveNotes‘ “Lungs” at @BAM_Brooklyn March 25-April 19 2020. The play is about a couple wrestling with the morality of having kids in an overpopulated planet. pic.twitter.com/96r9elP5hB

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) December 18, 2019

View of the Shed from The Highline

The Shed’s Second Season

Claudia Rankine, “Help”

Arinzé Kene, “Misty”

Tomas Saraceno, “Particular Matter (s)”

Meet at the Shed, January 11,2020

A free, daylong, building-wide takeover with exhibitions, performances, food

  Help March 10 – April 5,2020

An inquiry into white male privilege by Claudia Rankine

Tomás Saraceno: Particular Matter(s) May 6 – August 9, 2020;

A visual art installation that is intended to be neither seen nor heard, but felt.

Misty September 24 – October 24

Fusing live music, spoken word, and absurdist comedy, Misty is a journey through the dark alleyways of a city in flux and a genre-defying excavation of the pressures and expectations that come with being an artist in our time

Live Nation CEO Michael Rapino

Live Nation Entertainment Inc.reached an agreement with the Justice Department to resolve government concerns that the company violated a 2010 antitrust settlement that allowed it to merge with Ticketmaster, according to the Wall Street Journal. Under the original agreement, known as a consent decree, the companies were allowed to combine but had to agree to conditions designed to help preserve competition in the live-events industry.

Dear Evan Hansen

Kerry Butler (Mrs. George), Erika Henningsen (Cady Heron)

Scene from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child at the Palace Theater in London.

Isabelle McCalla and Caitlin Kinnunen as high school girlfriends in The Prom

(l-r) Nicholas L. Ashe, Jonathan Burke, J. Quinton Johnson, Jeremy Pope, Caleb Eberhardt, John Clay III, Gerald Caesar

The problem with teen musicals on Broadway by critic Christian Lewis in American Theatre Magazine.

When it comes to teenagers and Broadway, 2016’s Dear Evan Hansen changed the game. The Tony-winning Pasek and Paul musical was certainly not the first Broadway show about—or beloved by—teens. That credit might go to Spring Awakening (2006) or 13 (2008) or Runaways (1978), or much further back to Babes in Arms (1937), considered the first musical with an entire cast of teenage characters. In the wake of Dear Evan Hansen’s success, Broadway quickly saw a sweep of major productions with teenage protagonists: Mean Girls (2018), Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (2018), The Prom (2018), Choir Boy (2019), Be More Chill (2019), and the latest installation, The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical (2019).

….The genre deserves a larger critique, but not the one critics are making. Yes, Young Adult Theatre can seem angsty, the pop score/lyrics can feel basic and the plots contrived. But the central problem with Dear Evan Hansen, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Be More Chill, and The Lightning Thief is that they’re all about straight, white, cisgender teenage boys. The supporting casts are often diverse, but the main characters don’t deviate from this norm. Not only are these protagonists about as privileged as they come; worse, each of these pieces is about its hero’s search for his identity. Compared to a person of color, a queer person, a transgender person (let alone any intersection of these), how much do Evan, Harry, Jeremy, or Percy have to figure out about themselves?….We need more shows like The Prom or Choir Boy:

The movie is a wreck, the musical is a joke. Why, then, will we always have ‘Cats’?

By Charles McNulty (who doesn’t really answer the question posed in the headline)

“Cats,” Andrew Lloyd Webber’s blockbuster spun from the light verse of T.S. Eliot’s “Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats,” is a paradox and a puzzle illustrating the disconnect between theatrical success and respect. The fourth-longest-running show in Broadway history, it is the consummate tourist musical. (“Broadway’s first show for the tired Japanese businessman,” according to Ken Bloom and Frank Vlastnik’s indispensable “Broadway Musicals: The 101 Greatest Shows of All Time.”)

Theater people resent “Cats” not just because it made Broadway uncool until “Hamilton” finally rescued it from the pop cultural stocks. What really infuriates buffs is that “Cats” ushered in an era of grandiose spectacle, the vacuous parade of shows from the 1980s and early ’90s that made it seem as if a musical had to have a helicopter or a crashing chandelier to be worth the rapidly rising ticket price.

Ed Harris and Kyle Scatliffe, center, in “To Kill A Mockingbird”

Q and A about To Kill A Mockingbird with Aaron Sorkin and Ed Harris, its new Atticus

Aaron Sorkin: How did Harper Lee get away with having a protagonist who doesn’t change? Because Atticus isn’t the protagonist in the book or the movie; Scout is—her flaw is that she’s young, and the change is that she loses some of her innocence. While I wanted to explore Scout, I absolutely wanted Atticus to be a traditional protagonist, so he needed to change and have a flaw … It turned out that Harper Lee had [already] given him one; it’s just that when we all learned the book, it was taught as a virtue. It’s that Atticus believes that goodness can be found in everyone….

Ed Harris: I love the film. I think Peck’s portrayal in terms of that story and that script is just indelible. There are little things that happen on the stage even now, just a head move or something, that feels like Gregory Peck! But the inner life of this man I’m playing is so different [from Peck’s character]. He’s trying to hold on to a belief that’s being eroded slowly but surely. It’s really interesting to play.

The Trojan Women’s Project at La MaMa: The artists discuss

I got asked for an end-of-the-decade quote on “emerging trends” and the editors rejected it, so here it is so that it doesn’t go to waste. Happy holidays! pic.twitter.com/b5YBglbJBL

— Young Jean Lee (@YoungJean_Lee) December 24, 2019

Best and Worst Theater of The Decade, and of 2019. See a show, live longer. #Stageworthy News of the Week Check out: Favorite stage performances in 2019. Top 10 Lists of Top 10 Theater in 2019.

[gyrlversion]

EDEN CONFIDENTIAL: Esther Freud and David Morrissey split

Actor David Morrissey and novelist wife Esther Freud has announced their separation after 13 year together

With his brooding good looks and her fascinating family history, actor David Morrissey and novelist Esther Freud were one of society’s most celebrated showbusiness couples.

So I am sad to report that the couple, who met at drama school 26 years ago, have separated. They had been married 13 years.

‘It’s a great shame, but they just couldn’t make it work any longer,’ one of their many friends tells me. ‘They are making sure that the interests of their three children come first.’

The couple, who shared a house in Hampstead, are now living separately in North London.

As recently as last year, Esther, who is the 55-year-old daughter of late artist Lucian Freud, was talking affectionately in interviews about Morrissey, 54, the star of television dramas including The Walking Dead and The Deal, in which he played Gordon Brown.

Morrissey, who has been hailed as one of the most talented actors of his generation, did, though, highlight the great differences in their backgrounds. While he is the son of a Liverpudlian cobbler and a mother who worked for Littlewoods, Esther’s bohemian childhood formed the basis of her acclaimed novel Hideous Kinky, which was turned into a 1998 film starring Kate Winslet.

David Morrissey and Esther Freud at the start of their relationship attending the premiere of Basic Instinct 2 in 2006

The great-granddaughter of the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, Esther is one of Lucian Freud’s 14 children. Her mother is the writer and gardener Bernardine Coverley.

Morrissey has credited Esther with helping to teach him self-discipline.

‘Suddenly,’ he said, ‘I was with someone who imposed a work structure upon themselves.

‘There we were, we’d just met and fallen in love and suddenly, even in my own flat, I was outside my bedroom waiting for two o’clock so I could go in and kiss her.’

Freud and Morrissey declined to comment.

The smart set’s talking about… The Sultan of Brunei’s party-loving prince

As the international outcry intensifies against the Sultan of Brunei after his decree that gay men in his country are to be stoned to death, spare a thought for his exuberant son, Prince Azim.

The party-loving prince — one of the Sultan’s four children by his second wife, former air hostess Hajah Mariam — would be heartbroken if Brunei became a pariah state.

Blessed with a playful spirit, Prince Azim, 36, is pictured here in characteristic pose at a London party, enjoying the company of Pamela Anderson.

Party-loving Prince Azim, son the highly controversial Sultan of Brunei, is spotted enjoying a night out in London with actress and campaigner Pamela Anderson

While the evergreen Baywatch babe favoured a mask and little black dress crafted from PVC, he opted for snakeskin-effect sheer T-shirt. It was offset by powder-blue feather boas, ripped jeans and a pert top hat with a fan-veil of the sort that milliner Philip Treacy might design for Ladies’ Day at Royal Ascot — plus a key, dangling from his neck.

Azim, who followed his father to Sandhurst but lasted only a week, has a serious side, of course, once designing a unisex suitcase for luxury goods brand MCM.

Described as a chic travel bag, it was, said one report, ‘destined to bring out the princess within’.

The Queen cancelled her visit to Newbury, where she had a runner in the 3.40 yesterday, after the death of one of her best friends, Jeannie, the Dowager Countess of Carnarvon, at the age of 83.

Her Majesty had been due to stay for the weekend with the American-born Countess’s family, who live near Newbury racecourse. Jeannie’s late husband, Porchy, was Her Majesty’s close confidant and racing manager. A lively character, she was played by actress Andrea Deck in TV’s The Crown.

Even last year, she was still doing Pilates at her dower house on her family’s Highclere Castle estate, where Downton Abbey is filmed.

Fleabag’s naughty priest breaks up with boyfriend

As the ‘hot priest’ in BBC hit comedy Fleabag (right), Andrew Scott leaves Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character desolate at a bus stop.

In real life, he’s nursing his own broken heart. I hear Scott, 42, has split up with his partner of ten years, the actor and writer Stephen Beresford, 47, inset.

They had shared a London home. ‘I live alone now,’ Scott has confirmed. Asked if he had a new companion, he replied: ‘I have a lot of love in my life, but I prefer not to talk about that.’

Previously best known as Benedict Cumberbatch’s antagonist Moriarty in BBC hit Sherlock, Scott has been hailed as the ‘sexiest man on TV’ after his charismatic turn as a Catholic priest who breaks his vows in a fling with Fleabag’s dysfunctional heroine.

Fleabag’s ‘hot priest’ Andrew Scott (left) has revealed he has split his partner of 10 year Stephen Beresford (right)

If you bump into Dame Vivienne Westwood, who turned 78 this week, best not wish her a happy birthday.

‘I didn’t celebrate,’ the queen of punk-turned-eco-campaigner tells me at a private viewing of Demelza Kids, a show of works by fashion photographer Juergen Teller at Bonhams in Mayfair.

Dame Vivienne Westwood by cartoonist Gary Smith

‘I just stayed at home with my secretary and worked on saving the world. There’s so much to do.

‘I did think it would be nice to go to work — people would like it — but then I don’t like cake or champagne much.’

The eccentric designer, whose clothes are worn by everyone from Theresa May to Angelina Jolie, even banned her husband, Andreas Kronthaler, 67, who now runs her fashion label, from giving her a gift.

‘I don’t need any presents. He gave me a lovely card.’

Now two’s company for Prue

Cookery queen Prue Leith is changing her recipe for a happy marriage.

Until now, twice-married Prue, 79, has extolled the joys of keeping apart.

But the genial Bake Off judge has decided she wants to live with her husband of three years, the retired clothes designer John Playfair, after all.

And she plans to build a new home on her farm in the Cotswolds so he can move in.

Prue Leith plans on converting farm buildings on her Cotswold property so that husband John Playfair can move in

‘The time has come when she and John want to live together, but in a place where they can each have their own quarters,’ one of her friends tells me. ‘They have designed a place themselves, which they are making out of a big old farm building on the land she owns.’

Her agent confirms: ‘Prue and her husband do have plans to convert some redundant farm buildings on her land into a single property.’

‘He lives a mile away from me,’ Prue said, after marrying John, 71.

‘He’s got a lot of stuff and I’m rather anally neat and tidy and I don’t want all that stuff in my house. And he doesn’t want me tidying it up.’

London is to be the scene of a reunion between former U.S. presidents this weekend. I hear that Barack Obama, who is over for his wife Michelle’s talk at the huge 02 Arena tomorrow, is planning to meet up with Bill Clinton, also in the capital with his wife, Hillary.

I wonder if the Obamas will pop into Frogmore Cottage to see their friends Prince Harry and Meghan while they’re here?

Princess Diana would be touched to see how close Prince William has stayed to her old friend Julia Samuel. I hear the Duke of Cambridge asked Julia, a grief counsellor, to be his official representative at the Chelsea memorial service on Thursday for cancer expert Professor Martin Gore, whom William described as an ‘inspiration’. In 2013, William asked Julia to be a godmother to Prince George.

Duchess gives her blessing to Missy’s new man

When Lady Melissa Percy married Thomas van Straubenzee, the ceremony was attended by Princes William and Harry.

Could wedding bells soon be heard again at her family seat, Alnwick Castle, which doubled as Hogwarts in Harry Potter films?

‘Missy’, as the 31-year-old is known to chums, divorced Tom in 2016. And her new romance with American hedge fund boss Remy Trafelet, 48, is going so well that he has already met her parents, the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland. ‘We really love Remy,’ her mother, Jane, tells me at the launch of Tim Bouverie’s book, Appeasing Hitler, at China Exchange in Soho.

‘We’re just happy for them because they both had marriages that didn’t work and they now have a second chance at being happy. I would be happy for them to get married when the time’s right.’

Macca’s boy brings the church down!

With his cherubic cheeks and twinkly smile, James McCartney was the image of his father as he performed a secret gig on Thursday night.

Sir Paul’s 41-year-old son received a standing ovation at Heath Street Baptist Church in London’s Hampstead, where he sang and played guitar and piano at an exhibition by photographer Danny Clifford called Rock Stars Don’t Smile.

One of his most moving songs, Angel, was written around the time of his mother Linda’s death from breast cancer in 1998.

At one point, James joked that he sounded less like his father and more like his fellow Beatle John Lennon.

Like father, like son: James McCartney (left) received a standing ovation for a performance at Heath Street Baptist Church in London’s Hampstead, taking after father Sir Paul (right)

Has Prince Charles secured a powerful ally in his crusade for alternative medicine?

I ask because the Health Secretary and prime ministerial wannabe, Matt Hancock, made an 800-mile round trip to hold private talks with the heir to the throne on Wednesday at one of his Scottish residences, Dumfries House.

Officials decline to comment on what the two men discussed. But their meeting took place a week after Hancock, 40, spoke at a reception in support of ‘social prescription’ therapies hosted by Charles at Clarence House.

On that occasion, Hancock — whose wife, Martha, is an osteopath — lamented that doctors were ‘dishing out’ too many pills. Music to Charles’s princely ears.

(Very) modern manners

Brexit is a no-go subject at most dinner parties, but imagine what it’s like at Boris Johnson’s family get-togethers.

The Brexiteer MP’s sister, Rachel, is an ardent Remainer. And she tells me: ‘Our house rules are don’t talk about Brexit at meals. If it does [come up], it all goes wrong and my mother sits there crying gently.’

Speaking at an Amnesty International bash at L’Escargot in London’s Soho, Rachel adds: ‘There is a liberal side of the family that is overlooked in the narrative of the Johnsons being this ambitious, power-hungry, blond tribe.’

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[rctaggart-blog]

Finding Your People

Okay so this is like, a long-winded love letter to The Annoyance Theatre NY or some shit. Maybe you’ll read this and maybe you’ll be like “whoa I could love that place too” and you’ll come take classes to learn, sure, but also to meet these people and let them blow your mind with how nice and good and nuts they all are. Taking classes at The Annoyance helped me find my place and find my people. It’s the sort of place that feels like that cardboard box episode of Spongebob, and when you’re in this small little box you’re going on the craziest adventures imaginable and anyone outside just hears all the giggling and these people are the sort of people who will encourage you to do what you want as long as you do it as hard as you possibly can. If you’re looking for your place and your people, they’ve probably been waiting for you in this murder basement the whole time.  This is all relevant because as of March 31, 2017, the theatre will be taking a lil break (see also: closing until further notice) and time runs short for you to blast off into the stratosphere with these folks and boy will you look like a dumb lil fucker if all this ends and ten years down the road Marc Maron’s like “Who’re your guys?” and you say anyone but “Annie Donnely’s bare ass.” 

PART 1: New York Money About a year ago I did whole thing where you move to New York without considering the full picture of the future of your finances. I turned down a very nice offer from my good friends’ company to move to the city for comedy et al. I got a copywriting internship.

Before work even started I signed up for Annoyance classes. I had money saved. I had a paid internship. Money is easy and I am king. (Note: Since birth I’ve had the stupid luck of having an older brother who likes doing all the same things I do and is the funniest person I know and you all know this but for the people in the back I’ll just remind you he was here before me and I wouldn’t know about the Annoyance without him because he was all like ya gotta go it’s nuts so that’s how I ended up here.)

Annoyance class (AP1) was dope. Sara Burkhalter was great. I was learning basics that I had long forgotten/never actually learned. There was that one guy who always wanted to make scenes about butts and boobs and full on bit my leg once. I met these cool cats Juj, Brendan, and Lena. Juj and I did a really nice scene about laundry. Brendan and Lena became a thing and I officially had friend hot goss which is a sure sign of feeling at home. New York city is easy and I am king.

And then, at the end of January, I got my first intern paycheck. I stupidly wore a blazer to work. I don’t know why I did this. Maybe to look cool when making advertising money. But I do know I grossly underestimated New York taxes and what interns make and immediately realized that this was not nearly enough money to do much of anything. I believe that same day I also learned how much I owed in taxes. It was a lot. Maybe because my senior year of college I just forgot to pay them. 

So that Friday a sad boy got on the train home to his sublet (hardly able to focus on Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk) fully intending on watching the rest of iZombie and not talking to anyone all weekend, because that’d be too expensive. 

And you know, I was sort of letting loose this internal monologue of self loathing (why’d you move here, you’re nothing, the world can’t wait to forget you, etc. etc.) and just really beating myself up and I’m looking at the stops ticking down on the L and I’m thinking that I don’t actually want to go home because that sounds sad and tinder-y and I remembered this Friday night jam at The Annoyance I’d had on my calendar for three weeks but had little intention of ever actually going. And now I’m sweating and shoving my book back into my coat and internally trying to football-coach-at-halftime-during-the-big-game myself, you know, like mentally shouting about how if I’m not even trying to do anything outside of classes then why even move here and all that. 

So I marched my ass down Bedford to make the 7pm Dog Fight in my dumb little camel hair blazer to go pay $5 (it doesn’t cost money anymore! you gotta come!) and do whatever Dog Fight was. 

PART 2: Dog Fight

I was very awkward. Mostly silent. It was very empty (as it always is until halfway through the show). I got a beer (so you can’t do that anymore but you should still totally come) and put my name in the dog bowl and maybe floated on the edge of a conversation of strangers for a second before I took a seat and waited, trying not to think about how dumb I was starting to feel with the blazer on. The show starts – Danny Groh blasts on stage shouting and yelling, and Dara stands next to him holding Oakley The Dog and the playful scowl she always has with Danny. 

They go through the pre-show spiel: Bar in the back, bathroom to the side, stairs over there, and yo yo I’m Danny Groh(!!!!). They call the names out of the dog bowl. I might’ve been in the first group, I don’t remember. But I get called up and I’m all nervous about this dumb blazer and I consider taking it off especially when Danny is making a fuss about it, but then as the other names get called, I meet a tall fucking guy with a bowtie and a devilish so and so with a beard and a blazer. These were Clay and Sander, respectively, and now the blazers were A Thing. 

We get the suggestion, Clay and I go out for the first scene, and we’re both just leaning against opposite sides of the stage. I say, “Just a couple a guys, trying on clothes.” Bowtie matches the false bravado voice I’m using and says, “Just trying on clothes, couple a guys.” And we’re off to the races. I’m so excited, just leaning against the wall. I start thinking that this is a scene I might’ve done with Chad, Harrison, Anna, Lauren, any of those Midnight Book Club babes, like oh boy god this is fun, this dumb little scene saying “Couple a guys! Tryin’ on clothes!” weirder and weirder. And then Sander walks into the scene and asks if we need anything. Clay says, “We’re just a couple a guys and we need some clothes to try on!” and Sander hits the same silly note and says, “Just one store clerk helping a couple a guys try on some clothes!” and it’s so stupid reading on the page but I gotta tell you that this was euphoric. (Other scenes that stick out from this group of people were: Army Guys At War But Also Going Through Breakups, President Fight, and just a scene I believe was general shouting.)

Dog Fight used to have a winner that was chosen by Oakley The Dog. We’d do musical chairs to decide where to sit, we’d appeal to Oakley one last time, and Dara would let her loose. Whoever she chose would come back the next week as a group. I went up because Sander saw that I was new and is great at including people. Oakley chose me probably because I was sweaty and smelled. But I was very happy about it. And then Oakley The Dog kept choosing us. For something like six weeks. 

I feel like Willem Dafoe in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou when it comes to Dog Fight. I’ve tried to tell Danny and Dara and Oakley The Dog what it’s meant to me, but I can never get it across. I found myself just wanting to shout: “You don’t understand! I didn’t just like it!” at them. Because if I hadn’t gone to Dog Fight I would’ve never met Sander and Clay and if Oakley hadn’t kept picking us I would’ve found a reason to not go to Dog Fight but she chose us some five weeks in a row and it basically become habit at that point. Dog Fight was what I did on Friday nights, no question about it. It was church. And the rules were yell TFE really loud when someone nails a Tight Fucking Edit on a scene, yell for the doctor when you just wanted to see a doctor enter a scene, yell at Danny and Dara for talking too long at the top. And if I hand’t gone to Dog Fight steadily for something like a year I wouldn’t have met Shannon and Charlie and Dan and Jessika and Deanna and Maya and Sophia and Justin and Lizzie and Jason and Nico and Daniela and Caitlin and and all these dang people and when I met Kiran and Andrew and Adam in class I was like man you gotta come Dog Fight on Friday night is the place to be, it’s the only place you gotta be because it’s where everyone is and after we’re going to The Lucky Dog after to “get a drink” which almost always turned into “getting very drunk.” and the crowd started getting bigger and bigger, growing from just a few of us to being nothing short of an exodus down Bedford at 8pm on the dot.

PART 3: So On And So Forth

There’s more to the story, like how I basically wrote Murder in Middle America so I had a reason to hang out with my new friends more, or how we came up with the concept for The Moon Crew one night at Lucky Dog when Sander told us about his first date ice breaker of “would you rather go on a 3 month trip, all expense paid, to Europe or go to The Moon” or how Clay basically set the musical mood (and let us use some of his amazing music) for Chad and I’s movie, Something Fun or how, just this past weekend, I had the most fucking fun watching John Wick 2 with these assholes and spending the rest of the night both reliving and shitting on the movie like we were little kids who just saw an action movie for the first time. 

The point is: All of a sudden I had a home. I had friends. And it’s amazing how much nicer a place can get when you have friends.  The Annoyance Theatre NY is a place very close to my heart and in its last days I hope you come by and get weird with us. We’ll love you to the moon and back. For classes and shows: https://theannoyancenewyork.com/