#I want to peel it all off so bad
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Was high and sleepy but remembered I hadn’t taken my pill yet so I got out of bed and ate even tho I didn’t want to and then took my meds and also remembered that my sheets were in the drier and then put them on my bed everyone be proud of me
#forgot a couple days ago now my streak is like three days but its been pretty much two weeks#also putting a fitted sheet on ur bed when u have two peeling itchy tattoos on the backs of ur legs. hell on earth. but moisturizing ur legs#and knowing ur set up for ur period to start in a few days without worrying about the sheets u like getting ick on them. heaven.#except all the grease spots from the moisturizer my tattoo artist gave me for the first few days#but my legs are peeling and itchy and I am just staring so hard at my legs at every moment I remember I have tattoos bc I want to pick so#bad but I can’t and I WONT. but like oughhhhh skin flakes except they’re colored now and it’s a perfect shape all peeling and I just want it#even and flat and oughhh but I won’t pick I’m not going to pick they were expensive and I don’t want to ruin them I want to love them foreve#it’s like a month of healing time vs the whole time I’m alive and a corpse I will have cool ink like hello of course I can’t pick but fuck#I want to peel it all off so bad#okay anyways. going to sleep now. going to get high as fuck again and pass out before my mom gets home
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intimacy being the scariest thing is the world n yet also having the most intense physical yearning is so fuckd up
#why does touch starvation have to be real#i dont know how to be physically affectionate#i get scared when people tap me on the shoulder#it takes me out of everything#im not used to being touched at all most of the time it makes me feel the need to peel off all of my skin#always unwanted touches though#but then i want it#so bad#i just want it to be natural for me like it is for everyone else#i dont even know how to hug#but i want to#but it's like that part of my brain never set in#one of the many many things#i am just. so inhuman#i crave 2 just give hugs n be given them and be comfy and feel loved n like i can actually give it out n it be wanted#i want to know what it's like to feel like i belong and not be terrified in every interaction
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꒰୨୧꒱
#the thing is that even if i always long for a relastionship...#i've never even been in one and idk how they work & im so scared of many things#i have sm troubles and issues with touch. i've gotten to a place where i cant even stand my own sisters or mom bumping into me#and outside i cant stand when someone accidentally walks into me or touching someone's legs on the bus#i hate it. it's not only feeling uncomfortable i feel distressed and scared and sick#smth that seems very normal in like all couples is that youre 'allowed' to touch eo all thge time whenever#that scares me a lot. like touch is so scary for me. and when youre in a relationship theres just this silent agreement that you can touch#eo all the time and thats like... how it's supposed to be.... ://#thats so scary to me. that theres this expectation and demand that if im someones gf they should be allowed to touch me whnever#and like i've never been in love and been in a relationship and been touched by that person so idk#maybe it wouldnt be an issue. but just thinking that.. i dont belong completely to myself and therefore give up#the right to not be touched if and when i feel distressed or uneasy is too scary for me#maybe i could learn to feel safe with them and want their touch but rn it scares me skskks#what if they kiss me when im feeling extremely sex reoulsed and wanna kill myself bc of my inner agony#and they get hurt when i try to pull away?#bc regardless of what ppl say... it is a truth that in a relationship youre exoected to want physical touch at all times#and it is seen as an insult to your partner if there are other forces within u (like trauma etc) that makes u sometimes uncomfortable w it#but yeah idk... the problem is that... in humanity and society#consent is one of the least important and prioritized things. as a humanbeing living u will have your consent disregarded countless times#and for me personally consent is one of the most important things. & thats one of the reasons why its so hard for me to live in this society#like yes i do want to have a partner and touch and be touched#but what if we're in the store and im feeling particularly bad that day and feel like#i need to turn myself inside out and peel my skin off and feel anxious and scared#and they just casually grab my ass?? then i will go home and kill myself :) or have a breakdown in the store lol#i dont want to go thru this but i also dont wanna put someone else thru it#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes#and if i said no theyd respect me and not get hurt#but like be for real.... almost nobody does that. and almost everyone thinks thats lame#in most relationships nobody asks eo. youre expected to just always be ok with it. if u want to be asked youre silly and demanding#nobody asks their partner abt that. that just dont happen lmao. so idk. :((( i wish i was normal
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Was thinking about it a bit more and I realized… if it were to happen, I don’t think you and Kirishima actually get divorced, I think you’d just… “separate” for a while.
Probably at his insistence, too. Not that anything is wrong, really… but having a kid as a hero is super difficult, and I think Kiri probably gets caught up in the loop of not feeling like you guys are lovers anymore, just parents, and every other hero without a partner is doing so much better than him. On the charts, emotionally, etc... so he suggests taking a break in thinking that not being worried about you would make it easier to prioritize what he really thinks matters (your son and his career)…
Not realizing that things’ll go even more to shit after he sees you without your ring on when you drop off son for his first-ever custody weekend.
#kirishima#he’s like ‘let’s just take a break and see if we’re better off’#and then the first night alone at his dumb*ss bachelor pad he’s crying all night#and when son gets dropped off and acts out the whole weekend and is so mad at kiri#kiri can barely wave goodbye to you from the balcony and#literally bakugo has to peel him off the floor that Monday#after#lmaoooooo and then kiri instantly realizes he made up all his problems in his mind#he’s the most miserable he’s ever been EVER and actually feeling like parents and not lovers was a problem HE caused#and isn’t even bad it’s just something that ppl w kids go thru sometimes#but there u are. living apart because he wanted to be an *ss#and he had to spend the next year trying to win u back#but it works lmaooo#and your son never really forgives him but it’s cool it just makes him super funny#and bakugo is mad too actually LOL like 🤦🏼♂️the entire time#anyway bye#I’m watching mha season 5 and it’s good!!! I forgot it was good!!!#gen#kids tw#caitie post#divorced kiri
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Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#dorian pavus. [ he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain. ]#dorian pavus: ic. [ you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet. ]#dorian pavus: inquiries. [ stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause? ]#dorian pavus: countenance. [ i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult. ]#dorian pavus: introspection. [ selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. ]#dorian pavus: meta. [ you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less? ]#dorian pavus: little notes. [ living a lie. it festers inside you like poison. you have to fight for what’s in your heart. ]#dorian pavus: etc. [ you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks. ]#dorian pavus: magic. [ don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places? ]#dorian pavus: inquisition. [ we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition. ]#dorian pavus: tevinter. [ despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love. ]#dorian pavus: felix. [ even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better. ]#dorian pavus: gereon. [ we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying. ]#dorian pavus: halward. [ i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy. ]#dorian pavus: aquinea. [ her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet. ]#dorian pavus: inquisitor. [ you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them. ]#dorian pavus: solas. [ you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit. ]#dorian pavus: varric. [ what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way. ]#dorian pavus: cullen. [ gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you. ]#dorian pavus: cassandra. [ blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic. ]#dorian pavus: cole. [ you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats. ]#dorian pavus: vivienne. [ i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends. ]#dorian pavus: blackwall. [ point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one. ]#dorian pavus: sera. [ you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony. ]#dorian pavus: bull. [ no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back? ]#dorian pavus: corypheus. [ one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? ]
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omw to hardware store earlier
#photo record#face tag#i bought weather sealing stuff to seal up my door frame a little better to mixed results.#overestimated the size of the gaps & once i put all the foam on i couldn’t close the door. LMAO!!!!#so i peeled a bunch back off & now it’s MESSY but it closes & the worst of the gaps are fixed now 👍#so now i can be a little less insane about ~bad air~ getting into my room#and they didn’t have the kind of air purifier i wanted (i want to upgrade mine) so i ordered a new one while i was there too#so hopefully i will have as close to a little safe zone as i can manage#with the new air purifier it’ll change out air in here like every six minutes!!! crazy#i’ll have to go again & see if i can find thinner foam. now that i actually know what i need#struck down by hubris once again (not double checking before i left in the first place)#ok anyway now i’m gonna make frozen pizza 👍
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.
#it's 1am and i'm depressed and don't want to go to bed#there's such an unbelievable amount of century-defining tragedy and horror in the world rn#and i know that’s always true but jfc we know about so much more of it simultaneously now#like i'm supposed to be chill and functional in the face of war pandemic climate change forever chemicals micro plastics and fascism?#and and and?#i'm supposed to smile and ask follow-up questions when people tell me about vacations to Hawaii#rather than shaking them and saying holy fuck stop doing that please learn about the ramifications and historical context of your actions#i'm supposed to smile and give a measured response when a new coworker asks my other coworker and me#when they can/SHOULD use generative AI *for work purposes*#rather than screaming and throwing articles at them about the environmental impact of LLM bullshit#and that's all large scale#that's not getting into the fact that there's a growing family chilliness over refusal to communicate about I/P shit#or the fact that my mom is dying slowly and hates it and is worsening her relationship with my siblings little by little#or the fact that I'm peeling away at my sanity trying to process a divorce and get healthcare for my cat and dental care for myself#or the fact that it takes hours of research to find DISH SOAP THAT DOESN’T KILL THE MICROBIOMES OF THE LOCAL WATER SUPPLY#(10/10 recommend 'blueland' for that if you're reading btw)#like i'm painfully aware of the back-patting level of efficacy that i have for buying different soap and going to the farmer's market#but there's only so much i can do so i have to try to do what i can right? but it's so little and everything is so much#and my mental health is a mess; the fact that my particular neurotype is known to get more volatile with age scares the shit oit of me#like it's this bad at 33 and it gets WORSE?#my job is great for personal privilege but so *so* meaningless and redundant#and how tf do i look at all of this and not feel fucking hopeless?#i can distract myself with my garden but the candide approach was myopic even in the 17th century so it's hard to justify now#I'm so tired#just... fuck man#tag rant#i should delete this but I'll forget if you read this far i hope it wasnt damaging to your mental health#i just had to let off the brain scream pressure somewhere
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For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.
MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).
Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)
Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.
Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????
*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!
#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one)#(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?)#i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc#let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all#torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out#a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he#if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU?#(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby)#(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST)#(“if you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD pun”)#mcu tag i guess#and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was#like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while#reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D:#don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :(#otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters#nick fury's a goth right?
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Whelp I dont think I'm getting my meds (or any mail) today :/
#marquilla#she's like 8 hours late... i dont think she's coming....#mr krabs ringing that bell: DAY 9 LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 9!!!!#my skin feels like it's gonna scrape itself off my body in one big slough#i was out in the rain twice today and my skin burned so bad when it touched me i wanted to scream#i did have 'good' moments today pain wise today but uh id like me meds... please#gonna have to fucking drive to the goddamn pharmacy (hour one way) to get a new fill if it doesnt get here by Tuesday#bc i called LAST tuesday... bitch..........#im glad it wasnt my mental health meds but like.... this pain is affecting my mh sgdgdgdgdg but withdrawl from mh meds is dangerous#and painful... like in many ways 😬#hey ill pay one of yall to peel my skin off me#$100 but if you can get it all in one piece and make a skin suit ill give you $500#my tolerance for bullshit is low and baldy is lucky he didnt say the 'idk who told you to use clear totes' to newlady and not me bc i#would have SCREAMED id have to have had laughed as i said it so it seemed like i was pointing it out as ironic and funny oopsie!#but i really mean it in a 'how are you this fucking stupid at your job... how'#i was getting real creative with my insults ab him today sgdgdgdgdg
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i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it
#i have never really felt like just disappearing off of the face of the earth and not talking to Anyone before but i have been thinking of it#a lot today! which is wild bc not my normal isolation thought but today it seems good ahahahaha#i am just. tired. i feel like i am not listened to ever and i feel unwanted as hell lately which i know in the back of my mind i am not#unwanted but boy do it feel like that lately lol. and i’ve been back on my ‘im gonna die alone bc nobody ever will love me how i love them’#bullshit which i have Not missed but it is come back full on ! soooo fun for me hahahahahaha i love to feel miserable about being unwanted#by those around me!!!! love it sooooooooooo much weeeeeee i totally don’t wanna slam my head through a window!!!!#also just in general lately i have felt like people talking to me is a chore to them bc nobody around me has been having actual conversation#it’s all been shit ass one word or one sentence replies from everyone or they talk about what they want and not acknowledge what i said and#i don’t even know what to do about it. i just don’t even want to talk to anyone now bc i feel like they literally don’t want to speak to me#and they don’t care what i have to say clearly bc they don’t pay attention and then bring up what i said says or weeks later like i never#said anything and it’s like hm wow yeah i fucking told you about that??? maybe if you pay attention you’d have known that but it’s fine !!!!#I’m just. tired of it. i am fully understanding of everyone having lives and doing their own things they need to do. but this is like. fr#different. like it feels so much different than that and i don’t get it and i don’t know what to do !!!!!!! i feel like i’m going Nuts#anyways if any of you wanna stick me through a meat grinder i would be forever thankful and you have the rights to take anything i own after#what this boils down to is my autistic ass is like everyone is not doing their normal thing!!! everyone is off their normal talking schedule#with me!!!! this must mean they fucking want me dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc they went off script/pattern and not in a way they have in the past#that indicated that they just are struggling to reach out! this is different and bad and they want you out of their life!!!!!!!#which is ridiculous but what the fuck am i to do about it bc i will be thinking this until i basically am told otherwise by these people. so#that’s soooo much fun i love brains they’re so silly i wish i could jump at a wall and stick to it until i just slowly peel off and onto the#floor. anyways. hope everyone else has a good night
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having a body is a sensory nightmare
#personal#vent#i am peeling my skin off with my mind#it's not even fully a weight thing#my brain just periodically decides to despise the fact i (checks notes) have joints#shoulders elbows knees ankles all terrible awful get rid of them#compulsively rotating all of my joints and popping them to try to make the Bad stop#i have always had this and it is the fucking worst#i used to think it was growing pains when i was a kid but nope#just brain deciding that every so often i need to want to kill myself to escape the flesh prison
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Face tingly clay mask is like forced meditation bc it pulls me back into the fact that I have a body and makes me confront it head on
#wanting soft skin vs twenty minutes of tingling#breathe thru it baby it’s gonna make ur face so soft#some days I’m like fuck yeah cooling tingly mask after a day outside and then some days I’m like I’m going to peel my skin off andapparently#today is a face peeling day but like soft skin so so soon and then I’ll be all touching my face and shit cause SOFT#and the act of washing my face over and over and applying products almost feels like I’m taking care of some younger version of me bc I dont#feel connected to my current self when I practice self care at all it just feels like playing dress up with a younger version of me#I might just be high. whatever. I ❤️ weed and this face mask is not totally bad but I might wash it off early
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SO ALL NIGHT FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS I KEEP FLICKING LITTLE ANTS OFF OF ME WHILE I'M GAMING AND I KEEP THINKING IT'S JUST THE SAME ONES OVER AND OVER
WELL I JUST FUCKING LOOKED OVER AT MY TOMIE LAMP AND THESE FUCKERS HAVE THE THING COLONIZED THEY'VE GOT EGGS AND SHIT AND THEY'RE ALL BUNCHED TOGETHER
SO I FREAK OUT BECAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY BUGS IN ONE SMALL PLACE FOR MY LIKING AND WE GET THEM VACUUMED UP
I'M SNIPPY WITH HIM BECAUSE HE'S SLACKING ON GETTING THE VACUUM TO ME QUICKLY BECAUSE AS SOON AS I TURNED THE LAMP OFF THEY STARTED TO SCATTER
AND I'M ALREADY SPIRALING BECAUSE THE SPARE ROOM IS FULL OF SHIT AND I'M SICK OF LIVING LIKE THIS AND THEN!!!!
THEN!!!!!! THIS GUY ASKS ME "you know what bugs me?" BITCH IT'S TAKING EVERYTHING I HAVE NOT TO THROW HANDS WITH ANYTHING IN SIGHT RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T JUST SAY SHIT
#tw bugs#bugs tw#i hate this place so fucking much i hate it#i can't take baths because the tub has these grody strips in it#and we can't peel them off because the building management put this cheap enamel shit over the tub that's peeling off and it'll strip it#the bathroom is so tiny it feels smaller than my old bathroom even though they're the same size and my old one had a slanted ceiling#the cat stinks the whole place up#it's so dark in here always because there's these cheap paper blackout panels on the windows#the living room is a disaster because of how they decided to arrange it it's so weird the tv is like right in front of the sofa#and not against a wall so it's just in the middle of the room#there's junk mail everywhere#neverending fucking trash no matter how much i pick up there's still more and more and more#we fill three fucking trashbags a week#i used to fill a single trash bag every two weeks#i hate living here so goddamn much#i wish i could go live on my own again so bad#i can't just break up with my boyfriend everyone will make me feel guilty for it#he'll probably cry and i can't deal with seeing people cry because of me i feel so guilty for everything all the time#i hate my fucking life#i want to fucking die#🥀
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It is so hilarious to me how people see me as cool and wise on the surface- literally telling me in anon that they’re too scared to talk to me
but Bean knows how much of a dumb pathetic and uncool person I am irl
#irl...i have:#1. left my window open in the dead of winter for a WEEK STRAIGHT and inadvertently let SNOW into my room#during a WIND CHILL WARNING (which means even being outside for 10 minutes could give you frostbite or hypothermia)#2. i was searching up japanese dance for my fic and one result popped up with this bell-like instrument and a fan#so i typed in japanese dance only fans ....... yeah yall can guess what popped up#i was scrambling to get off the results bc i was so stunned. i only wanted. the jp fans. not THAT.#bean fucking cackled at me so fucking hard :(((#3. i tried climbing out the drive thru window at my work to escape a bad smell#4. i tried cutting a banana in half...with a plastic spoon...at my work...with the peel still on...bc i couldnt find the knife#theres a lot more but these are all RECENT#conclusion: im a literal fuckin loser LMFAO#so yeah yall pls dont be afraid to talk to me im a bumbling dumbass
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...
#weird day. really weird day#i couldnt sleep v well bc my brain was fucked up and i was prob dehydrated so im like extremely out of focus#i did go to the health and wellness center and am now back in therapy which is why my day was so fucking wild. like im too tired so im not#opperating correctly but it was real weird. like last time i got assessed by someone who basically sorted me to a therapist according to my#problems. this time i just kinda stumbled into a 1st session with someone and i dont kno how to feel abt how it went. it was odd#like we didnt go thru like an entire thing of like what r all ur problems? it was more i started talking abt things and he got stuck on#some specific things i said and we talked abt that. which im of 2 minds abt bc he did instantly latch onto the root of some of my issues#which is that i feel fucking dumb all the time bc my brain works a little different but it also wasnt helpful bc like theres a stereotypic#verson of my experience and then theres what i actually went thru and those things dont align in the way he was talking abt it. like i#think were were just talking past eachother a bit. like he wasn't exactly wrong but i do feel a bit like i walked in with an open wound and#and he decided the best course of action was to pat me on the head and tell me im v smart so i walked out still bleeding. but i dont think#its was all bad bc it got under my skin so much. i react like a cat thrown in a bath if u try to call me smart. like fuck off. yes ok im#smart. i have a certified document saying that i have above average intelligence. big fucking whoop. im too fucking dyslexic to do anything#right and my brain is constantly trying to strangle me to death. he called me a gifted kid. fuck u i was too fucking dyslexic to b a gifted#kid. stop talking abt the positive aspects of the compulsive way i live my life when its literally strangling me to death and i want it to#stop. acknowledge my pain old man. also i hate thst therapists hate the word weird. its not a bad word i like that word. i disagree#fundamental with the assertion that its bad. also he pointed out that i talk like a freak. like a person with high intelligence. fuck u i#like words. i will peel my own skin off if u call me smart one more time. lol i was so mad. i argued with him like the whole time. also he#mentioned horoscopes which was weird but whatever. we'll see how the next one goes. i told him to his face i i didnt kno if what we talked#abt was helpful. possibly the rudest ive ever been to a stranger lol. well see how the next session goes. at least it was interesting#god. im fucking so tired and wrung out.#unrelated
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𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯! 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
He’s been stealing your panties since the week he met you. Collecting them in different pretty colors and fabrics. Using them to jerk off every night with the groan of your name. Stuffing them under his nose or using them to stroke his cock, either way had him cumming to the thought of you all the same.
He takes your stuff and holds them over your head. Watching your tits bounce as you whined and struggled to reach. Smirking widely as he teased, “if you want it back so bad then kiss me.” Blood rushing to his cock when you actually get on your tip toes to kiss him shortly, forcing your lips to stay on his when you try to pull away.
Who pretends to be asleep until he hears your soft moans at one in the morning. Quietly cracking open your door to watch you touch yourself, his hard cock already in hand as you moaned and mewled so fucking prettily. Stroking at the pace of your desperately working fingers till you two orgasm at the same time.
Who ‘accidentally’ sends you a video of him lazily jerking off on his bed, his lip in between his teeth and his other hand behind his head as he looks directly into the camera. The message coming through followed by a small “oops, sorry sweetheart, wrong person”
Who starts getting bolder and bolder even after you suspect him of being the reason for your missing underwear. Leaving slight yet noticeable touches to your ass and boobs whenever he had the chance. Always laughing it off and joking about how soft you were and about how perfectly your tits fit in his hand.
Who calls you up to his room when he’s about to cum, his lips parting in heavy breaths as you walked in clad in your short pajama set. Your eyes widening as he fisted his length, eyes meeting yours with a loud groan as he spilled onto his hand. “Shit, can you grab me that box of tissue?” Letting out heavy breaths with a dark grin.
Who starts walking around the house with nothing but low hanging sweats to get you flustered. Brushing up against you or wrapping his toned arms around your body. His rock like abs against your back as he whispered into your ear. “Well these shorts are shorter than usual.” Loving the way your face heated up for him.
Who starts to make you sit in his lap for everything. Saying that you weren’t allowed to watch tv unless you did it from his lap. Or that you couldn’t seat at the table to eat breakfast unless it was again, on his lap.
Who suddenly wants to spend all his time with you so that you couldn’t go out as often. He wanted you, and would make you his at some point.
Who finally sinks his cock into your tight pussy after teasing you subtly all day. “Waited so long for this.” He grunted, his thumb running over your bottom lip which was swollen from all his rough kissing. “Feels even better than i expected.”
You cried out loudly, small whimpers falling past your parted lips as his hold on your legs tightened. Holding them in place over his shoulders as he fucked into you harshly. Thick cot brushing against your g spot as it hammered deep.
“That’s it, just take it baby. Please mama? Take it f’me yeah?” He breathed, his head in your neck as he licked and sucked dark marks onto your skin. Snapping his hips into yours in oute need, not being able to get enough of the moment that he dreamed for so long about.
“Does that feel good baby?” Watching as you nodded with a teary cry, your eyes fluttering shut as your back arched off his sheets.
“Look at me.” he groaned, your eyes peeling open to meet his as you both filled the room with your noises. “Wanna fill you up so bad, pussy’s so fucking perfect.”
“S-satoruu— nngh,”
“Oh fuck baby, let me hear my name again.” He breathed, hand snaking lightly around your neck. Your choked moans and babbles getting louder as your stomach tightened. Gojo never slowing his pace as he fucked you dumb.
“Haah, Sat-oruu, ahh,” you mewled, your pussy tightening as your body began to tremble. Gripping onto the sheets at your side at the orgasmic build up.
“Can feel you getting close, squeezing me so tight,” Gojo grunted, lewd squelching sounds filling your ears each time his cock bullied its way deep. “I’ve got you baby, cum f’me.” His hand squeezed down on your throat, your wet eyes meeting piercing blue ones with a chant of his name. His cock twitching inside you as your pussy messily thanked his cock.
“O-oh fuck- ‘m never letting you go you know that? Wanted you for way too long.” His eyes fixed on yours as you shook your head.
You felt so good, and he found him self unable to come to a stop even as he got close.
“S-satoru—”
“C-can’t baby, feels so good, shit— gotta cum in you.” Pressing his lips onto yours to muffle your whines as he gave his final sloppy thrusts. His hips flush against yours as he buried himself deep inside you with a moan. His eyes rolling back as he spilled into you, pumping ropes after ropes of the sticky substance onto your walls.
Gojo pulled away with a satisfied breath, swiping his tongue across his lips with an unapologetic smile at the look on your face. “Sorry princess.”
#not a new work!#from my old account#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo smut#gojo x reader#jjk x reader smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo satoru smut#gojo x you
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