#i hate living here so goddamn much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daedrabela · 1 year

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SO ALL NIGHT FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS I KEEP FLICKING LITTLE ANTS OFF OF ME WHILE I'M GAMING AND I KEEP THINKING IT'S JUST THE SAME ONES OVER AND OVER

WELL I JUST FUCKING LOOKED OVER AT MY TOMIE LAMP AND THESE FUCKERS HAVE THE THING COLONIZED THEY'VE GOT EGGS AND SHIT AND THEY'RE ALL BUNCHED TOGETHER

SO I FREAK OUT BECAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY BUGS IN ONE SMALL PLACE FOR MY LIKING AND WE GET THEM VACUUMED UP

I'M SNIPPY WITH HIM BECAUSE HE'S SLACKING ON GETTING THE VACUUM TO ME QUICKLY BECAUSE AS SOON AS I TURNED THE LAMP OFF THEY STARTED TO SCATTER

AND I'M ALREADY SPIRALING BECAUSE THE SPARE ROOM IS FULL OF SHIT AND I'M SICK OF LIVING LIKE THIS AND THEN!!!!

THEN!!!!!! THIS GUY ASKS ME "you know what bugs me?" BITCH IT'S TAKING EVERYTHING I HAVE NOT TO THROW HANDS WITH ANYTHING IN SIGHT RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T JUST SAY SHIT

#tw bugs #bugs tw #i hate this place so fucking much i hate it #i can't take baths because the tub has these grody strips in it #and we can't peel them off because the building management put this cheap enamel shit over the tub that's peeling off and it'll strip it #the bathroom is so tiny it feels smaller than my old bathroom even though they're the same size and my old one had a slanted ceiling #the cat stinks the whole place up #it's so dark in here always because there's these cheap paper blackout panels on the windows #the living room is a disaster because of how they decided to arrange it it's so weird the tv is like right in front of the sofa #and not against a wall so it's just in the middle of the room #there's junk mail everywhere #neverending fucking trash no matter how much i pick up there's still more and more and more #we fill three fucking trashbags a week #i used to fill a single trash bag every two weeks #i hate living here so goddamn much #i wish i could go live on my own again so bad #i can't just break up with my boyfriend everyone will make me feel guilty for it #he'll probably cry and i can't deal with seeing people cry because of me i feel so guilty for everything all the time #i hate my fucking life #i want to fucking die #🥀

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timeandspacelord · 2 years

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"Let he who put the toilet plunger in the bathtub be the first to shower in said bathtub" and other things I am forced to say in response to the actions of people in this fucking household

#i hate living here so goddamn much

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lagosbratzdoll · 7 months

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Many of you in this fandom overstep boundaries. When I talk about anti-blackness and misogynoir in the fandom in general and HoTD specifically, it is not your place as a white/non-Black person to tell me that “akshually, I don’t think it was anti-blackness. I think the writers were just lazy.”

That is an egregious overstep, and it annoys me very much. Black people in fandom can have conversations about the misogynoir and we can even disagree, but where the fuck do you, as a white/non-Black person, get off? You not only insert yourselves, but you question the experiences of Black people in fandom as if you have any authority or personal understanding.

I cannot give credence to the opinions of individuals who cannot even recognise the presence of anti-blackness in their shipping communities. There is nothing you can say that I am interested in hearing. Our conversations are not for you to intrude on, they are intra-communal and I am getting sick and tired of you lot inserting yourselves where you don’t belong.

#you guys are irritating me icl #doing my best to refrain from calling you everything but a child of god #but you guys make it so goddamned hard #it's that same spirit of oversabi that leads you idiots to calling black fans of this stupid family nazis #just stay in your lanes #it cannot be that hard to stop talking about shit you have absolutely no idea about #I've seen idiots on here debating people's lived experiences #“well I haven't seen anyone call you slurs so how can I be sure that you've actually been called slurs”#first of all #who are you? and where the fuck of you get off?#who died and made you arbiter of fandom racism?#you are white!!!!!#like dpmo #hate you all very much btw 🫶🏾#hotd #house of the dragon #asoiaf

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janiedean · 6 months

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two episodes of nervous crying your brains out for longer than one hour in the span of three days were not in my bingo card for 2024 when I graduated ten years ago and I would like to frankly get the fuck over myself

#personal for ts #one day i’ll be able to put into words #the absolutely hateful feeling of thinking you got over your shit #and then finding out that NOT ONLY you aren’t #but KNOWING you’re falling back into shitty coping mechanisms you STILL let it happen #honestly my self loathing is off the roof because fifteen years ago i didn’t know i was shitty coping #now i KNOW i am and guess what here i am doing the whole isolating myself and forgetting to reply to ppl song and dance #christ i thought i was okay with handling that kinda shit guess not #and yeah ofc i need to fix it for myself but this time is so much worse i’m just #my kingdom for waking up one morning and feeling some level of mental clarity #and for some goddamned financial stability #and for the force of will to keep the house tidy enough that i dont feel sad just looking at the state of the living room #guys also honestly sorry if i forgot to reply to your ask or pm or anything i’ll get to it at some point #i swear i’m not ignoring people on purpose i’m just completely overwhelmed sigh

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snekdood · 10 months

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i need more friends that i can give the responsibility of perennial native plants and perhaps shrubs and trees to

#p sure my apartment complex would only be down with just me using like flowers n stuff...... but i got trees n shrubs here toooooooo.....#that produce fruit...... .. . . .... . .#probably why they dont want it #but goddamn thats just gonna make the squirrels worse if we deprive them of anything @-@;;#how to explain biodiversity and the cycle of life to normies who think grass is the only plant that exists @ google? or anyone??#'theres too many squirrels'#'and that doesnt have to be a problem if we just let bushes and tall plants and more trees grow in places where theres vast expanses of #just grass'#'bc then natural predators of squirrels will be more likely to live here and naturally deal w the squirrel population till its healthy'#how do i emphasize how bad grass is to someone who probably doesnt even care that much about the env to begin with #GOOGLE HOW DO I GET PEOPLE TO CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND QUESTION THEIR ACTIONS #BUT NOT SO MUCH THAT IT MAKES THEM GET LOST IN THEIR GUILT AND SOMEHOW TRY TO TURN IT ON ME INSTEAD #IG FOR MAKING THEM AWARE OF THE HARM THEYRE CAUSING #and then they just shut down and try not to think about it until they keep ignoring it and nothing changes and hhhhhhhhhhh #oh and how do i do this to my landlord without the risk of being hated by him and thus treated Differently #my problem is i have no filter and i say whats on my mind so idk if i can be nice about it BC THIS SHIT IS P URGENT TO ME

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salad-storm · 5 months

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Smoking isn't cool

#look. look. i hate smoking i hate it a lot. but if my friends want to smoke im like okay sure im judging u a bit but its your life whatever #BUT it annoys me So much when someone goes oh smoking is so bad and hurts you and ive been trying to convince person that smokes to stop !!#only to immediately start when Someone Cool offers them a cigarette. like?? if u want to ruin ur lungs fine its your body #but at least fucking Stick to your own words. dont try to be all holier than thou only to immediately succumb to peer pressure #GROW A FUCKING SPINE. either stand up to Me or to the person offering you a smoke/drink/whatever #ull need to learn to live w ur decisions eventually why not start w me when i at least try to be a bit nice n understanding #this isnt even about smoking tbh this is about my friends not listening to their own goddamn morals and reason #me when my friend doesnt tell me smthing bc they think ill judge them for it. like. yes? i will #if you were being stupid? but if you stand by your decision then you should still be able to tell me?? despite Oh No Friend Might Judge Me:(#idk. annoyed. smoking still isnt cool so stop acting like it is #stormy in here

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werewolf4vampire · 9 months

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they should let me go get put into a medically induced coma for 3 months to detox like jordan peterson

#this shit's too fucking hard man. and i gotta like plan around it?#like i have sooo much stuff to do. i constantly have appointments #i have to figure out the cremation plans and some way to make some extra cash...#and clean like. my entire living space #all while in terrible pain? like that's all so much goddamn stress #AND i'm supposed to be able to get sober at the same time? are you fucking kidding me man?????#i hate it here #darryl speaks

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lavender-femme · 10 months

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#don’t mind me I’m just having a night™️#i hate living with my dad more often than not #the only consistent pro is not paying rent #which I only get because every time I ask him what he wants me to pay him he gets all kinds of passive aggressive #I got roped into being his caretaker post knee replacement just because I’m here #and he can’t be bothered to treat me with half as much respect as he does his numerous girlfriends who treat him like shit #I’m so so so tired of doing every fucking thing around here #i haven’t done laundry because I’ve been in too much pain #i haven’t done dishes because I’ve been in too much pain #so of course the sink is overflowing and his laundry just sits downstairs because he ‘doesn’t want to’#the knee replacement hasn’t even happened yet #and I just know I’m going to end up doin every goddamn thing around this house even more #doesn’t matter that I am in a shit ton of pain and can’t even properly treat it #doesn’t matter that I might be having a difficult time with my mental health #doesn’t fucking matter !! he doesn’t want to do something now so I can end up doing it later #just thinking about how he and my uncle joked about ‘if you do it wrong enough times you stop getting asked to do it’#about dishes and laundry and shit #and that is so fucking disgusting to laugh about #especially when you literally put everything off so your kid can do it despite you being perfectly capable #and then refusing help when you actually do something #I’m just so fucking annoyed #i am in so much pain and all I asked was for one thing #doesn’t matter that I’m using my limited gas to drive him to and from the hospital tomorrow #or that I’m the one who went out and found him crutches #or that I’m the one who told him to think of some meals for the week since he’ll be recovering and I’ll be cooking them and then he refused #Fuck #I’m just so exhausted #and i I have to wake up super fucking early #i wanna bury my face in a butches chest and never come out #it’s fine I’m fine everything is fine

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verytendou · 8 months

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Idek what to say anymore if you cant be normal abt black people you genuinely need to die atp

#negative #i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate-#THERES NO SAVING SOME OF YOU PEOPLE #LIKE HOLY SHIT SOME KIDS AT THIS SCHOOL ARE GENUINELY FUCKING INSANE #yes yes restorative justice but if youre blackmailing undocumented students to pay you or youll report them i just genuinely think you’ll #mever ever ever ever have anything to contribute to society and the world would be brighter if you didnt exist godbless #I JUST THINK IF YOU EVER FEEL YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON AN AFROINDIGENOUS PERSON BC THEY ???? ASKED IF YOU LOVED THEIR SHIT???#BC THEYRE NEURODIVERGENT IN A WAY YOU CANT HANDLE????? BC THEY TELL YOU THE KPOP INDUSTRY IS ANTIBLACK????? IDK MAN #I JUST DONT THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHINGNTO CONTRIVUTE TO SOCIETY!!! I JUST THINK THE ENTIRE WORLD WOULD BE THAT MUCH BRIGHTER AND SAFER IF YOU #WERENT IN IT!!!!!!!!#I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE IT SO MUCH #this university and this country and everything that made the both of them are fucking evil and i HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!#AND EVERYONE REGENT SHOULD DIE. IDGAF!!!! IDGAF!!!!! THIS INCLUDES THE STUDENT REGENTS YOURE BOTH NARCS AND CENTRISTS #AND ALEXIS DIDNT SPEND HER ENTIRE TERM PUTTING HER GODDAMN NECK OUT #FOR Y’ALL TO BE LIKE THIS AND I HATE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SYSTEM #i need to get out of california. i just cant fucking do this anymore.#and its just so fucking bleak here. and idk talking to community organizers in california and having them say that as long as you live in CA #you’ll never truly escape the UC system and that the uc will continue to touch every part of your life bc theyre just sonfucking EVIL #and shes fucking right. why tf is there a LITERAL CHECKPOINT 30 minutes from my house now #ITS BC KF THESE MFS AND I HATE THEM #I HATE THEM !!!!! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE i just really cant i need to be back in peru #i cant be here anymore man i really cant if i dont get this out of state job im just goijg back #for at least a year #at least #i hate this school. i hate academia. let me out LET ME OUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!#v.txt #i cant imagine anything else anymore incant imagine staying i cant imagine JUST FUCKING BEING HERE its so over

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bxnyi · 2 years

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#tw eyecontact #oc #vonté #anyway context: My grandmother kicked me and my family out of her house in -1⁰ bc?? fuck knows!#It's fucking cold and I'm fucking freezing and I hate it here. She makes me regret hating myself so much. No wonder I feel like dying-#everytime she speaks. I know -1 probably isn't that cold; but we're from the swealting south and I'm used to the humid heat!#Kicking us out after it fucking snowed and everything is frozen into an uninsulated storage building we're living out of just feels stupid!#We fucking pay her bills and for her food; me; my mother; and step-dad work our fucking asses off to support a bitch that won't support us-#with basic shit might I add. Not allowed to eat; not allowed to shower;#not allowing even the heat we pay for when freezing outside!#Goddamn! I hate her. I'm cold and shivering. my siblings are too. This is shit it's bullshit I am going to scream #sona #vent art

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lynx-tales · 9 months

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I’m never going to be able to move out of my parents’ house lmfao

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euphor1a · 2 years

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..... so i’ll be taking 8467747846 business days to recover from this

#googie 🐰#what in the actual fucking world #yesterday night was... yeah #i think it was past 2 am here when he decided to post that #and i went to bed at 5 something after having 3?ish breakdowns 💀#i actually cried so much that i ended up having a migraine. wow. something’s definitely wrong with me.#well i’m probably insane at this point tbh so that is definitely an explanation🧍🏽‍♀️#today i haven’t been able to do anything without losing concentration every 5 seconds #this goddamn video is replaying in my mind non-stop and oh god i hate it 😭#never thought i’d say this but jeon jungkook... i really hate you rn #i really went through 25 stages of grief for this man #why did he do that?? is my mental health a joke 😔#i’m still feeling so many emotions about this jungkook all over my body and i’m mad :')#why must i suffer always #can he like 😔 let me live for once 😞?#i’m in so much pain i can’t explain

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crave-mp3 · 2 years

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#my mom keeps talking about how much she's going to miss me when i go to college and how im never at home any more bc im out w my friends #and im like. actually i cant wait to not live in a house where i have no privacy and i dont have to deal with you being drunk every other #night!! im so fucking tired of living under your surveillance and under your thumb!!!! being isolated and shut up in the house for pretty #much my entire childhood was actually a terrible thing and i wish id just been allowed to go to a normal school and do normal things and be #a normal person!!! with independence and agency and close relationships!! i didnt choose for you to homeschool me and its fucking me up in #ways im only beginning to realize! and im out all the time now bc i actually have friends now. i have people who care about me and like me #and i can confide in. and most importantly anything they know about me they know because i CHOSE to share it with them.#and she keeps joking about folllowing me to college and im like jesus christ there is quite literally nothing id hate more.#and last night she came into my room and talked at me for like half an hour and while she was saying how much how much shed miss me #she had her arm on my chest and i was so goddamn uncomfortable and i couldnt tell her to stop touching me bc she kept talking about how #she loved me but like. has she ever once respected me enough not to touch me when i dont want it. i feel kind of sick right now just #thinking about it bc she NEVER STOPS TOUCHING ME #'violation' might be too strong of a word to apply here but it feels pretty damn close.#like i cant stop thinking about/feeling her arm on my chest and her hands touching my face and i couldnt stop that feeling for hours after #im just so tired of her treating my body like something shes entitled to.#'you'll always be my little girl' no. im not a girl and im not little and i definitely dont belong to you.

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nomairuins · 28 days

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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and #not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work #i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a #while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that #there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and #atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk #idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless #everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles #every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling #exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But #itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking #sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good #days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and #im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can #donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to #be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and #hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care #but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to #and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and #happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality #type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so #upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for #them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep #any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to #be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh #and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this #is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh

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scullywtf · 1 month

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i NEED to leave the southwest i truly can’t handle it anymore

#it’s so goddamn hot all the time we don’t even get an autumn season we just get a less hot temperature #i hate it here so much but i can’t imagine leaving any time soon #i have no money saved but fuck i hate it here #i would love to live in the northeast #new england area is my absolute dream #someone marry me and let me move in PLEASE

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traumacodedtransbitch · 3 months

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it's a miracle with all this bullshit in my life at any one time circling around my head that i'm walking around and able to function to a degree and smile and laugh and go to things and not be a bawling or depressed mess curled up in bed

maybe i do forget how i do it; so many defense mechanisms going on inside my brain

#i'm so sick of all the stuff that led up to now #how are we here and how did that bullshit happen #and i always have to live with it #breaks my heart so much whenever it really hits me #i'm here and that's all happened now #and i'm 29 always having to deal with whatever happened before #and nothing can change those events and feelings around and in me #vent #personal #trauma #this shit haunts me every day and every night #mental illness #i will never know how things could've been #and how i would've been affected otherwise #i hate that this how i see and feel things #it's all too goddamn heavy to carry and life just keeps adding onto it every fucking day

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