#I want to write it all and just publish it asdfghjkl

[morganee]

THREE DOORS......WILLEL......PLSPLSPLSPLS

MY DARLING 💛 thank you SO MUCH for choosing this!!

This is my baby. I've been working on this for the past month or so. It's a 6 chapter story (might turn them into 8) and I'm just halfway through the second chapter asdfghjkl but I have the entire outline of the fic written down and I can't wait to share this story! I'm super excited but super scared because multi-chapters are hard D: I'm going to publish it once I have it all written.. which, hopefully, won't take me too long 😅

What I can say is that this fic is going to be my version of S5. It's byler centric but there's going to be tons of willel too 🤧

I can't really give you the summary (because I'm still trying to figure out how to write it without spoiling too much asghllk) BUT HERE'S A VERY LONG SNIPPET FOR YOU 💛

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Will asks. El turns to look at him and her voice carries a heaviness he hasn’t heard in a year. “Do you feel him?” His hand instinctively goes to the back of his neck. There’s no shiver, no goosebumps warning him that something is wrong. There’s no weird feeling telling him he can feel him, because he can’t. Vecna’s been silent for over two years. “No,” he replies. “I can’t. It’s just a sensation, but I can’t feel him.” “It’s probably the anniversary effect,” she replies, hand slipping into his. He holds it tight and finds the strength he needs in his sister’s hold. “You’re probably right,” he replies. “Halloween has never been the nicest holiday for me. Or the week right after it.” “Don’t worry. You have all of us to support you this week,” she says and giggles at her own thoughts that she quickly decides to share. “And you’ll definitely have Mike.” Will rolls his eyes and El pokes his side until she’s full-on tickling him. “El! Stop!” She giggles and he knows she’s had only a couple of drinks, but tipsiness looks good on her. She’s carefree and happy and giddy. Will wants to see his sister like this forever.

[fabdante]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I was tagged by my dear friend @thevampireauthoress on this post ! I tag all the fic writers who follow me and see this because I want to see what you guys are up to!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five! I write every day but only started posting fan fic a year ago and I have more I'm cleaning up to post!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 36,380

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A Lot. If post about it odds are I've written something about it in some form or another.

The ones I have public fics for are DmC: Devil May Cry and ATLA. I frequently write for World of Warcraft (mostly ocs) privately though and have been making my way back to TF2, Borderlands, and Bioshock works lately.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Since I have only five I can give the whole rundown asdfghj the Zutara fics are, unsurprisingly, the heavy hitters

An Inexact Science

Detours

Pinky Promise

Crossroads of Catharsis and Contemplation

A Series of Mild Prophesies

Also the stats chart cracks me up:

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I get to most of them! Sometimes when a fic is older and someone just leaves a short little 'this was nice!' or whatever, I don't respond but other then that I do. I get very excited when anyone likes any of my works asdfghjkl

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh...probably Swan Song, which is yet to be posted. Swan Song will definitely probably have the solidly most angst filled ending.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Just limiting myself to what's already posted on AO3, anything in the Circumnavigators of Celestial Bodies series so far has had pretty happy endings. It's not tinged with the like dramatic irony of anything in Drafting A Swan and both fic's thus far in Circumnavigators end on fairly positive notes I think

8. Do you get hate on fics?

As of now, no

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have but I haven't published any of it yet and I'm not sure I will ever. My favorites to write are definitely monsterfucking related, followed by more general kink but like monsterfucking is the best to write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I am an avid lover of crossovers, particularly crazy crossovers. I feel like I have several contenders for the most crazy.

First up would be the massive multi fandom high school au my girlfriend and I developed containing like every video game we liked at the time which I still sometimes write because I find the character dynamics fascinating but I doubt, due to the highly niche nature of this crossover, that it'd ever see the light of day (if you ever wanted August Borderlands and Rachel Amber Life Is Strange to talk on the roof of a trailer in the trailer park they both live in though, I am the gal to ask I guess because boy do I have that and I will provide)

Second up would be in a similar vein but like somehow even less attached to any of the serial numbers qualifying it as fan fic. That one is set in a Bioshock AU where Rapture lasted until the 80s somehow under different leadership. It is also a massive multi fandom AU but this time with gang warfare under the sea in a very AU'd version of Rapture. Similarly, it will never see the light of day with the serial numbers attached because it is just so niche as it is that like...I have no idea who would want to read that asdfghjkl I rarely write it anymore despite loving a lot of the concepts and dynamics, and I feel like it'd just be more effective to just rip off the remaining serial numbers and let it be free if I ever wanted to publish it somewhere.

Third craziest is perhaps less crazy but just very weird. But I have an ongoing series of fics where Brigid Tenenbaum from Bioshock 1 and Booker Dewitt from Bioshock Infinite just sort of hang out in this space beyond time and space and just get very cerebral about their oddly parallel lives and similar traumas because a hill I will die on is that they are the parallels of one another between those games, not anyone else. They're very written 'For Fabdante' so they are not very polished and I call them 'Bioshock Void Fics'

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of

13. Have you ever co-authored a fic?

When I was waaay younger yes! Those are really old and locked away on fanfiction.net though.

14. What is your all time favourite ship?

Vergil and Kat/Verat from DmC: Devil May Cry. They are my everything.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to say never because I do intend to finish these things but here's two:

I have this ATLA fan fic tentatively titled Avatar Champloo which isn't exactly a crossover, more just like an Avatar story featuring the Ba Sing Se kids (Jet, Zuko, and Jin) that plays homage to the vibes and general essence of Samurai Champloo, extrapolating on the already very heavy Samurai Champloo vibes of ATLA. Samurai Champloo is like one of my all time favorite shows so living up to it has been a tall order for me and I fear I will never finish this fic asdfghjk.

I have a few Zelda/Zelgan WIPs that I fear I will never finish. One being a very long one shot based off the idea of a Zelgan romance from the perspective of a bodyguard Link which I'm really fond of, but just have a lot of trouble editing. To give perspective, it was the first fic I ever considered publishing on AO3. And it's still not done to satisfaction for me and thus, not my first fic on AO3.

Obligatory Swan Song (my really long multichapter DmC: Devil May Cry, Verat based, prequel) mention. I don't doubt I'll finish it one day exactly, but when that day will be is far beyond my comprehension asdfghjk

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uh...ngl I have no idea lmaooooo I like how I handle small moments, I guess. Most of what I like to write is small moments between people, and I think I'm pretty ok at that. I'm good at rambling.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing multichapter things, I feel. Because I like small moments too much, I struggle to keep things relevant I feel. The biggest issues with Swan Song, I think, are just there being a lot of useless scenes. I struggle a lot with knowing how long scenes should be in something thats more then a one shot and how to transition between those scenes effectively.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I don't know any other language confidently enough to write it, so it's not something I ever do nor have an opinion on. I do write a lot of multilingual characters, and when I do I just tend to write the dialogue in italics then notate that the character is now speaking another language in the descriptor so that the reader knows what the italics mean.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Probably ATLA when I was a waaay younger. Writing Circumnavigators has been a return to my roots, I suppose, asdfghjk

20. Favourite fic you've written?

My favorite posted fic is definitely Crossroads of Catharsis and Contemplation. It's got everything for me and is exactly the type of thing I love to write the most.

Unposted? Depending on how it goes, I might have a runner up that is a preboot DMC fic which is a grunge band AU told through excerpts from a biography novel and the interviews within about said grunge band. Similarly, it has everything for me and is exactly the type of thing I love to write asdfghjkl

Thank you again for tagging me!! And once again, I mean it when I say please count yourself as tagged by me if you want to answer these because I really, really would love to see what you guys are writing!!

[nyx-b-log]

another short week this week, tho in my defence i've had more to do than usual.

started and finished to be taught, if fortunate by becky chambers and it was okay...? you can tell it was her first published work and honestly i think her writing thrives better in longer books. there's still that tender feeling to it that i've loved in all her work, but everything else sort of missed for me.

i've also started the whalebone theatre by joanna quinn and i'm actually enjoying it a lot more than i thought i would! i'm not normally a historical fiction kind of person but the characters and writing in this are pulling me in! (but, it's also a ww2 book in the second half, smth i very rarely enjoy, so this may change asdfghjkl). the blurb is a bit misreading, given that it says the main character is cristabel and when you start the book one, she's three, and two, there's a loooot of other POVs.

for manga i finished vol 7(!) of mushishi which includes the first double chapter in the series, which also is a call back to a chapter in like vol 3, so that was nice. ginko continues to be The Man, and there was some more good comedy in this one. possibly my favourite volume so far. you know what i'm gonna put the rest of this under the cut cos i NEED to talk about this in more detail asdfghjkl if you've not read mushishi, please please read mushishi

it also included the only part i vividly remember from when i watched the anime (over ten years ago?), the chapter lightning's end.

seriously, the way it expresses so much generational trauma in just a few pages is incredible (cw for implied attempted suicide, on page attempted infanticide, and general sad things):

(read from right to left, i've laid it out in double page spreads as if you had the book open.)

(if this doesn't work on mobile i'm so sorry)

basically this is the internal thoughts of the mother in flashback, covering from the point her own mother marries her off to someone despite the fact she's in love with someone else, then when she gets pregnant and doesn't want the baby so tries to kill herself but has to give birth anyway, then when she attempts to kill her own child by getting him struck by lightning because she doesn't know how to love him and it's crushing her, and then that last double page spread... the look between him and her in those last two panels is just 👌 fantastic

i also liked how it resolved (spoilers, ig) in that the mother doesn't just suddenly overcome her own trauma and become able to be the mother her son needs, and the son isn't expected to just deal with it. it's not smth i'm used to seeing, and i appreciated it.

bonus shoutout to the hunting chapter, which draws on horror themes and has some god tier art in it. the page with the birds? incredible.

[fantastic-nonsense]

those left behind… also i didn’t realize that other people had actual organized folders for their wips and not just a google doc lmao

I both have a chronic need to organize things in a way that enables me to find them again (it's the archivist in me) and mostly write in Microsoft Word...I think I have 3 fics total on Google Docs (and mostly only because I was sharing bits and pieces with a friend and got tired of screensharing asdfghjkl). So I keep my fics separate from all of my other various docs and separated into folders labelled by fandom for the sake of my sanity.

As for Those Left Behind...that happens to be "that one Young Justice fic I wrote when I was 16 and nearly finished when I was 18, but the last chapter isn't done yet and now I want to go back and re-write the whole thing."

Summary: "Five times the Team mourned Artemis and the one time they didn't have to."

Here's a long excerpt from the final chapter I published, which covered Artemis's faked death in "Depths":

His mind is detached, clinical in its observations. It’s like his emotions have just shut down, leaving this numb, empty feeling behind. Things are registering...but in a disconnected, impassive way that he knows instinctively is bad but can’t help but be relieved over (because he knows that if it were any different, he’d currently be throwing things in a blinding rage right now). Three things keep repeating in his mind (over and over and over). Artemis is dead. Kaldur killed her. And M’gann is crying.

Logically, he knows he couldn’t have done anything. He was on the other side of the bay when it happened. But logic doesn’t apply when one of your best friends is lying on the ground with blood on her uniform and you can’t hear her heartbeat. He remembers the growing feeling of horror within him as he watched Nightwing desperately perform CPR and he still couldn’t hear her heartbeat (no reassuring thump, thump, thump to keep his own heart from breaking). It was then that he shut down, mechanically helping Nightwing and M’gann move Artemis’s body while he dissociated himself. It was like watching his life through someone else’s eyes, or through a television screen (watching but not feeling Artemis’s cold cold so cold body cradled in his strong arms, M’gann’s warm hand half on Artemis’s arm, half on his, Nightwing slowly and solemnly leading the three of them-no, two and a body-to the zeta tube).

It’s not until much later that he realizes that he has blood on his hands (literally). It should be horrifying (he has his friend’s blood spread liberally over his hands, under his fingernails and on his shirt), but all he can think about is how Artemis was joking with him not even three hours ago about how often he ran through his shirts, and how he replied that she was perfectly welcome to make him a laser-proof, waterproof, and fireproof shirt if she wanted.

He never said blood-proof.

He’s standing against a wall with Artemis’s blood on his shirt and suddenly it’s all he can do not to throw up. And still in the background is M’gann crying, crying, crying, and now he needs the comfort and the innocence and god, he needs the old M’gann (his M’gann, back before she was hard and manipulative and misguided), because he’s not sure he can deal with this, and he wants the loving comfort of M’gann’s arms around him. He’s a living weapon, a being created to protect and destroy and take people down, and it still isn’t enough to save the lives of the people he loves.

It kind of haunts me because 5 of the 6 chapters are published and I've occasionally gotten the odd comment over the years about finishing it. I mostly have three problems keeping me from finishing it: I could never figure out what I actually wanted to do for the last chapter, I wrote it in an experimental style that's personally difficult for me to replicate now, and I haven't watched the show in a long time so my memories are a bit fuzzy. It's the only one of my YJ fics that I consider to be an active WIP even though I haven't touched it in nearly 6 years, because I do genuinely intend to finish it once I've gone back and re-watched the show for the first time since it went off-air in 2013. So...hope and pray that my creative juices to rework and finish it get sparked soon.

Ask me about one of my WIPs!

[jennagrinsoverml]

Hey

I have no questions in particular, I just wanted to let you know that I really really love all your work.

I really love your writing style and the way you can put emotions into words. You have such an amazing way to build up your characters and I think it is so in line with canon and it's just joyful to read. You could definitely make it as a professional writer (and maybe you even are, idk).

And I think your work is what really got me into the miraculous fandom. Don't get me wrong, I really loved the show before but I used to think the miraculous fandom was really toxic and your blog and work opened my eyes that there are people who just love the show for what it is. and I wanted to thank you for that. And then you published "The closest thing to love" and I thought by then and still think it now that this is the greatest fic ever written. It was sooo good. You can totally feel how much time and love and brain you put into every single one of your work.

So, I don't wanna annoy you with me fangirling any further about your work, I just wanted to thank you for all your hard work you put into your work and I think I just wrote "work" 3 times in one sentence and I'm sorry for that. It's just me trying to show you my gratitude.

Just keep on what you're doing. It's great. Xx

Oh my gosh. I think this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever sent me. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this out and share it with me. It means SO MUCH to me, especially coming during what has been a really hard week personally.

I'm so, so happy that you enjoy my writing! (I have no interest in writing professionally, although my job does involve a lot of writing, which I also really enjoy. But I love having this hobby that I get to just have fun with without any pressure, but the pressure I put on myself. It's a really important outlet for me.)

There are SO MANY wonderful people in this fandom who love the show unapologetically and without salt! There's definitely toxic portions of the fandom that can suck the joy out if you let them. I struggled with that early on in my time in this fandom before I found some of the blogs I follow, who share gifsets and art and meta and fic about all the wonderful things in this show, and it's made such a difference in my enjoyment of the show. Looking at all the beautiful positives really makes a difference for me, and I'm glad I could be that difference for someone else 💖

The Closest Thing to Love was such a labour of love and I'm so happy that people love it (although any time someone says it's their favourite fic I'm asdfghjkl because y'all there is some truly AMAZING fic in this fandom. I'm honoured that people consider my work up there.) But yes, I really did put a lot of time and love and brain into it lol

I need to be 100% clear that there is absolutely NOTHING annoying about an ask like this. Seriously, this was so, so touching and just THANK YOU. I'm pretty sure you just made my entire month 🥰🥰🥰

[bakadont]

Out of curiosity how many prompts do you get? I am actually thinking about writing for MHA but it’s so hard to come up with ideas. I would want to set up an account similar to yours.

I’m also trying to improve my writing so do have any tips? I love each one of your stories! Thank you for your being the krbkdk we need!

asdfghjkl this ask is wildly serendipitous because last night I actually looked at the amount I have and just like kind of lost my mind. I have 90+ prompts at the moment! (°-°)

(I really need to do less starting and more finishing... >.<)

Not including the requests for sequels or unofficial prompts mentioned in comments, which I often squirrel away into a note doc for later. They trickled in at first and I tend to get them in little groups after posting a work but there's definitely plenty to keep me busy for about five years, lol. And they're all so good, too! The vast majority are things I WANT to write, I just need more time and energy. ^^'

Personally I think lots of people have ideas and things they want to share with you so once you get that first work or two out they'll be happy to!

Omg I can't believe someone asked me for advice on writing omg omg. (>.<) I literally still ask that question to all of my favorite authors. I definitely still feel a little new to publishing fan works but I've been doing beta work for 10 or so years now, so hopefully between the two I can offer something a little helpful?

1. Momentum is your best friend. Sometimes you might feel like stopping because 'things aren't coming out right' or you 'aren't sure what to put here', don't let that trip you up. (This is something I still work on but once you master this skill it's amazing!) If it's not perfect right now, who cares? Clean it up later. Or, don't! You're writing for fun! If you don't know what to put somewhere skip it and keep going, fill it in later. Put a place holder word/name/or write "in this scene x happened" and move on. Let that momentum carry you as far as it can in the moment and deal with that gaps later.

2. Write what you love. This one is hard, especially in fandom. I think a little part of all of us gets tempted by the kudos, comments, likes, reblog, asks, etc. and wants to just write whatever will bring in the most interaction but doing that will quickly make it feel like a chore. Write for YOU and if other people like it that's great, if not, life is too short to let it bother you~

3. A lot of people like to write based on personal experience and that can be great. It often means less research and it can be a more comfortable place to write from. You can use to work through things and share perspective. But I like to recommend using writing, especially fandom writing, as a tool to explore, too. Try new things, learn something about yourself, maybe connect with others along the way. Maybe there are things in your real life that will keep you from ever being able to do x, sometimes that's just how it is. But that doesn't mean a character in your story can't do x. Just approach things that may not be fully lived experiences of your own with respect and humility and who knows how you might change along the way.

3.2 Also highkey just write whatever is fun and makes you happy it doesn't always have to have some hidden meaning or crazy depth. Life is short, fic is fun and most importantly FICTIONAL so do what you want and have a good time.

4. Make friends! You can still maintain anonymity and write fic (I've met a lot of people who are uncomfortable having their identity tied to the fanfic they've written-- hi yes I am one of those people ope). And you can also maintain anonymity, write fic, and make friends! Fandom is a place of connection and the connection between writer and reader in fanfic is a classic, treasured relationship. I feel like there's a lot of opportunity to learn and grow from this. Don't be afraid to try and talk to people and share ideas. Friends and fandom can be one of the best motivators!

5. If one of your concerns is brushing up on editorial type writing skills, get in touch with a beta! There's lot of friendly betas out in the world usually happy to help collaborate on grammar, syntax, literary styling, etc. They're also great for brain storming with, working through plot holes, motivation, and just general support. 100 out of 10 would recommend. (But also feel free to not! Working with a beta isn't for everyone and that's a-okay, too!)

So um...this got quite long, sorry, but I wanted to give you some practical things and some feely things sooo yeah. ^^' I'm happy to answer other questions or generally chat about writing or anything, though!

Thank you so, so much that is very sweet and just makes my day. I absolutely had no idea I would end up here when I posted that random little one shot I'd sat on for months. People have been unbelievably kind and supportive from the very beginning and I'm so grateful to every single person who comments, kudos, reads, asks, chats, likes, etc.

Seriously, anon. Thank you. (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

[creweemmaeec11]

Hi Crewe! I just wanted to pop in and say hi because you’re the best and I wanted to let you know that I’m in love with all your mini series because they are SO GOOD and I’m mad that there aren’t more people that appreciate them because they should be best selling novels if you ask me.

*incoherent flustered noises* asdfghjkl I dont deserve you people ahhh thank you 😭❤😭❤ that's so sweet and means so much to me ackk

(Ps, have you checked out the story "Just a Touch of Necromancy on my AO3?(link at top of master post) because I'm hopefully going to turn that into a book! I'm still writing it, obviously, but I'm treating the AO3 version as the rough draft, then going to rewrite it with my own characters, polish it up and (hopefully) publish it as a book :3)

[saiilorstars]

Hello, for the ask game: friday, saturday, fornight, and september!

friday: most self-indulgent fic you have ever posted?

That would probably be Avalon's "Stars Dance" because I fucking love fairy tales and I really wish I could just have all the pretty aesthetics that go with it you know???

saturday: what gets you excited whilst writing?

Honestly? Picking out the names for the ocs. I genuinely take such a long time to pick out names. Take for instance right now I'm working on a creating a new Harry Potter OC and I haven't written anything down because I need to find the perfect name. I've been doing research for about 2 weeks now solely on the name of that one OC and I love it. I love learning where names come from, what they mean, and finding the right one for my characters. And this applies to the minor ocs in the fics (best friends, friends, parents, etc.)

fortnight: what wip do you plan on posting next, if at all?

Easy! I want to publish my Harry Potter OC Romina's fic next! It'd be a Draco x OC fic and I'm close to having 100 drafted chapters for it. It's kind of my goal right now to get to that number before I post it. (Don't ask me why it's just a goal my mind wants)

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

asdfghjkl how about the ones I get saying they've reread my fics?? I've gotten a few of those lately on different fics and it just warms my heart because you're saying that you willingly decided to read my work not once but twice??? Can't top that kind of stuff!

Thanks for the questions!

Ask me a day & month-themed question about my fics!

[toutallyahoe]

You said you're taking requests, and I'm bored out of my mind so...how bout a connor for dbh headcannon where he just doesn't understand how the Sun could be in his s/o's eye ("it's in the sky detective, how can it be in your eye too?") and after a few guesses he just googled it and goes "oh." Then starts using it without proper context.

You heard that right and asdfghjkl thats quite adorable. A havent written anything DBH related for a bit so I'm a bit rusty but oh well

My dumb ass was so confused with this for a bit but its just the sleep deprivation sooo also, I just found out that theres a song called the "Sun In Our Eyes" by MØ and I like it

Edit: im so fucking sorry for publishing without finishing this shit. Its 1 a.m. here okay?!?!

⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃⁃

Connor was confused

[Name], his pop cultured, meme talking and also loving partner is always odd

and he certainly does not understand those words [Name] says at times

or rather, what most says too

like right now

the two were on the break room, just recently finished a case while Hank decided to actually write his report

Connor and his [Name] were just relaxing

well, [Name] was while Connor accompanies him

as [Name] was stirring his cup of coffee that he brew not so long ago

Connor was slowly drifting off to his thoughts

he was a deviant now by the way

but back to the thoughts thing

Connor remembered someone had mentioned about [Name] eyes in a case

it was the newbie recruit if he remembered correctly and he did

the newbie saying how [Name]'s [Eye color] eyes were like the sun is shining in on them

[Name] after all a kind and charming man

but Connor was confused on why that recruit says so

after all, the sun can not be taken out of the sky. that is very impossible to do such a thing

so he had asked that on [Name]

"[Name]?"

"Hm? Yeah, Con?"

"I have a question"

"Okay? Shoot"

"I do not understand. my program would not allow me to do such a thing [Name] and even if it does, I will certainly not do so"

"Crap, you're still new to this.. right... what I meant was... ask away"

"I see... well, I am wondering on why does someone says that the sun is in your eyes? It is the sun. It can not physically moved. It is in the sky"

cue confused [Name]

"Huh???"

"Apologies but P.O. recruit Jameson had said that the sun is in your eyes the other day and I am confused"

"Oh... Oh... Connor, I think Jameson meant was that my eyes are bright or something. I dunno"

"I... I see..."

still not satisfied with it

Connor still wants to know more about "the sun in [Name]'s eyes"

he went to Hank next

the lieutenant was not much help

"I do not know about this... umm... fuck, just ask someone else"

Connor went to Reed

the brunet detective flipped him off and cussed him out

Connor didnt know where to go as Conan and Connil is obviously not verse on this knowledge aswell as they are still new to deviancy

then Connor remembered that he can go ask the web

so he did

so many results

like... so fucking many

and he is so fucking confused

Connor's LED swirled to yellow to indicate his confusion

but after searching for a bit

he finally found some context

and he used it

it did not go so well really

despite [Name] kinda explaining and Connor searching it out already

he is still a dumbass

"[Name]"

"Oh, hey Connor, good morning!"

"The sun is quote lovely today"

Connor says as he stares into [Name]'s [Eye color] eyes blankly

"Okay...?"

[Name] is confused

what the fuck is up with Connor?

his confusion goes more levels as the day passed because Connor is just making him so damn confused with this "sun" and looking at his eyes thing

help this man

and help the android

after a few more awkward staring and odd sentences coming out of Connor's mouth

[Name] had enough and asked what is wrong with Connor

"[Name] I--"

"Alright, that's it! Connor... look... are you alright?"

Connor tilts his head a bit as that (cute) look of confusion plastered on his face

"Pardon me [Name]?"

[Name] sighs as he placed a hand on Connor's shoulder

"Look... Con... you just been recently acting kinda weird. Staring at my eyes and saying weird stuff and shit... I mean... its kinda adorable ag first but now its kinda creeping me off love"

"I... I did not realize that I am causing such discomfort to you [Name]"

Connor looked like a kicked puppy and [Name] felt his heart fucking squeezed at this android

"Its alright... just... why did you act like that?"

"I just want to compliment your eyes... like what P.O. recruit Jamesom did... comparing it to the sun..."

[Name] wanted to die

his android boi wanted to compliment his eyes???

aweeeeeeeeeeee

[Name] smiled and placed a soft kiss on Connor's forehead

"Well... that was sweet of you"

Connor's face lit up by that

"Still... i need to teach you how to compliment and what does "the sun in my eyes" mean though"

[Name] teased as Connor nodded his head with a smile om his lips

[Name] did teach Connor the right meaning of that sentence

and Connor used it right this time

[Name] was so proud

he kissed Connor

such dorks

[myaekingheart]

21!

37!

41!

(also, sorry, i accidentally unfollowed you while trying to click on "ask" and had to refollow you, i'm a dumbass, lol.)

[fanfic writer asks]

21. Do you ever want to write a novel/original work?

Hopefully someday! I have a lot of little fragmented ideas for original works that I would love to write and publish traditionally someday, and becoming a novelist has always been a major dream of mine. I just...need to find the passion and motivation to write those stories first, since all I seem to care about these days are fictional ninjas.

37. Any writing rituals?

In theory, yes. In practice, questionable. It really just all depends on what level of inspiration I'm sitting at? Some days, I'm super pumped to write and want to just sit down and get going so I don't do any prep work or anything besides maybe reading over what I already wrote if I left off in the middle of a chapter. Other days, my inspiration feels like molasses and I have to slog through my own laziness to get my ass in gear. On those days, I typically turn to Youtube and Spotify for help? I have a playlist with all different sorts of songs that remind me of my fic to get me in the proper headspace. I'll hop onto Youtube and pull up AMVs or clips to revisit certain characters and get myself, again, in the proper headspace. Sometimes drawing also helps but that takes a lot more effort on my part and sometimes requires extra motivation that I definitely do not have, so that option is fickle. But I basically just try to do anything to get myself in the mood and hype myself up for what I'm about to write. Almost like writer foreplay, if you will 😂 But some days it works, and some days it just doesn't and I kind of just have to cut my losses and do something else for the time being, which I also allow myself the luxury of doing because I never manage to churn out anything good or worthwhile if I'm forcing myself.

41. Your flaws when it comes to writing?

Oh god, I think the biggest one is probably trying to balance poetic and more utilitarian prose? Like I love sweeping descriptions and very philosophical, stunning inner monologue and emotion, and I always seem to measure my success during a writing session based on the presence of that but I know you can't always rely on purple prose and sometimes I'm just not in the right headspace to churn out that kind of content. But I can't stand when my writing feels stale and like I'm just going through the motions. It's boring for me to reread and it's no doubt boring for readers to read, too, even if it is important to me to get every beat of action down on the page. I always envision my ideas like movie scenes and I try to be as thorough with describing every little visual detail in the movement of a character or their facial expressions or whatever as I can, but that can honestly be really fucking difficult. So trying to find a balance between those two I think is one of my biggest flaws when it comes to writing because it's so damn hard and I don't often think I'm very successful at executing that. And also sentence variance. I fall into very specific patterns in terms of sentence construction and it even pisses me off, but it's a really hard habit to break. And sometimes I feel like my storytelling skills are a little weak/all over the place, too. There are times when I feel like I'm repeating ideas and that the story is starting to get kind of stale or boring or tiresome, and there are times when I think I'm doing a bad job of writing certain canon characters well or like the characters that I've created are unlikeable or stupid or underdeveloped. Keeping track of everyone and everything is difficult and I know I definitely suffer for it sometimes, so that's a fun little flaw, too.

(Asdfghjkl; don't worry, it happens to the best of us! I've accidentally done the same before, too xD)

[vanaera]

I got tagged by the sweet @sunshineandserendipityplease ! Thank you so much, hon! I love all the games you've been tagging me!

Here I go

What is the best thing that happened in 2020 to you so far? Writing The Heart Holiday. It's like a rebirth of my writing journey here bc I finally get to let out in the open all the things I've been wanting to write for so long. I've never felt so free, happy, and very much in love with writing like this before.

Favorite song at the moment? Maniac by Conan Gray. Be feeling happy better off and a bit bitter to all the boys I used to like and this song is just for that.

Last movie you watched in the cinema? Hmm...probably Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral [Trans.: Goyo: The Boy General] It's a genius Filipino historical war film. To this day, its lines remain highly relevant like "'Pag bumagsak si Aguinaldo, may bagong titindig. Pero ito.... hindi ito mapapalitan." [Trans.: If Aguinaldo (the president) falls, another will rise. But this (the nation) can never be replaced - (Pantaleon Garcia to Gregorio Del Pilar, gesturing to the landscape.)] I had to watch this film for our history paper last year while it was on its premier week (so I wasn't able to torrent it). It's been a long while since I watched in cinemas bc cinemas here are too expensive and I can't afford them bc I have more priorities to consider.

Favorite movie? OKAY THIS IS A HARD QUESTION. I LOVE FILMS FOR ITSELF AND ASDFGHJKL I LOVE IT SO MUCH. But anyway, my top had to be Fight Club, Se7en, Memento, Plus One, Parasite, 3 Idiots, Gone Girl, Little Women, AND JUST SO MUCH MORE (If you want some hella lit movie recs, just hit me up! I got so so many!)

Favorite TV Show? Avatar: The Last Airbender and the kdramas While You Were Sleeping and Kingdom

TV shows you're watching currently? None. I'm too busy theses days to invest hours in a show asdfghjkl I prefer movies more

Dream job? To write professionally. Publish books. Travel around the world to research for stuff I want to write about

What languages do you speak? Filipino, English (and bits of Spanish though not enough for daily conversational use)

What languages do you want to learn? French, Mandarin, Korean.

Dream vacation? Travel around Europe. I wanna go to Greece and Iceland and just study and appreciate art and films in a more intimate way and see the northern lights

If you could listen to one album for the rest od your life, which one would it be? Love Yourself: Answer :))))

Which song got you into Kpop? Beautiful Target by B1A4 (I miss them :((( Also yeah, it's been years sfghjkssks)

Are you currently watching Kdramas? What was your last Kdrama? Nope, not watching currently. My last one was Itaewon Class and it's hella lit👌 I love the generation war as its core theme. I've never seen a Kdrama like this before.

Your ultimate Kpop party song that brights up your mood always? ....I don't like much party songs but if something gets to bright up my mood always, it had to be Outro:Ego (it has boppy beats so I think it's already a party song? Idk man, I just always dance to this when it plays and I caN'T stop)

Last song you listened to? BTS - Outro:Ego. I just finished sweeping our living room and dining room and I needed a lively music to sweep to lmao

What's one thing you have most in common with your bias? Ok so like Yoongi id my ultimate love of my life but these months it's been pretty hard with Jeongguk always ruining my supposed normal life so with Yoongi, passion for writing and that i can sleep anywhere, anywhen. With Jeongguk, I think I'm talented in visual art and I'm constantly juggling through a lot of hobbies I wanna master.

I'm tagging my best girls @sophrosinn @senfleurs , the lovelies @kkul-lemon @kwonthefire @itsautumnherefriend @nixwrites @isimyazaki @sunskook @outromori @ifntelyinspirit @babychimchimsbaby @fantasybangtan @yoonia @foreverpark, and anyone who wishes to try this game out, feel free to tag yourselves! If you've done this before or don't want to do this, no pressure, it's totally okay! Hope you all are safe and doing well these days 💓

[mndalorians]

Saturday, August, September, and Forever. I am here to be your Derida rescue (and your ardent admirer) 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Thank you Erin I owe you my life and I love you very much 💕💕💕

Saturday: what gets you excited whilst writing?

I’ve already answered this one but - getting an idea (usually a specific image or vibe) that I just have to write, or when the words flow nicely and I can say what I want to say, how I want to say it

August: are any of your fics associated with certain genres/artists/songs/etc?

My first few fics were all titled with song lyrics but the Indigo trilogy is very much inspired by Indigo by Kississippi, and The dreadful need... has a whole playlist with songs that I listened to for inspiration

September: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

I can’t share your entire essay from Strings attached but please know I’ve reread it multiple times and cherish it very very much 😭😭

Forever: do you balance fic writing with original concept stuff?

I’ve barely touched my original stuff recently 😭😭 I have a definite 10k words down but it’s fantasy so I’m anticipating it to be like 150k+ over two books (were it to ever be published asdfghjkl) and there’s a lot that needs to be done to determine the exact plot plots and make it compelling. It’s just so much easier to just write fics.

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[kyoanikis]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG.

SPEED:  it’s no secret that my activity and muse fluctuates very often! lately, i’ve been more active over on my multi ( @solisfated​ ) and haven’t been really present here on kyou’s blog. for the past couple months my energy has been very low with sporadic bursts of high energy, but i’ve been feeling better the past few days. i’d love to get back to a more regular posting schedule here! i adore kyou so much, he’s my main muse and i love him with my whole heart, and i’m really thankful for all my mutuals who write with me. it’s summertime now and my work schedule it’s a bit lighter so i have more time to be here as well, the possibility of having that time feels pretty good! 

REPLIES:  replies are uhhh also pretty sporadic. i tend to gravitate towards a couple of threads at a time, whatever i have the most muse for at the moment. sometimes i dont reply to a thread for a month or two, sometimes i reply the next day. i do tend to hang onto drafted threads for a long time though, i never mean to drop threads without talking about it first. if you’re waiting on a reply from me i totally don’t mind being reminded about it! my goal to also to utilize the queue feature more so i can knock things out and drop things in the queue for posting to space things out better too. asks are kinda the same, i usually answer asks that i have the most muse for at the moment. man i really hoard asks kshgks i love memes, they’re really fun! 

STARTERS: i’ve had a pretty bad track record for posting starters i’m not gonna lie asdfghjkl; i’ve not posted a starter call in quite a while because of that. i won’t be posting any more starter calls until i’ve gotten a better schedule posting here again, i don’t like to leave people waiting for it for so long. coming up with random lines / scenarios is also kinda hard for me i’ve found, plotting first interactions / new threads is much more my speed. maybe i can utilize starters for specific verses though? maybe! 

INBOX:  my inbox is open 24/7! i love getting random things and i hoard memes like there’s no tomorrow. i’ve kept hanging onto asks for a couple months just like i do with replies and tend to see a shiny new meme and reblog it right away, so i often end up with lots of things in my inbox that i take time in getting through. random asks tend to slip by me and sometimes a lot of time goes by until i answer them, so i just want anyone to know that if you’re waiting on an ask from me i totally don’t mind being reminded about it! some sentimental asks i don’t publish so i can keep them forever, and those are all ooc asks. i always, always keep those, even if i never talk about them, i hold them dear.

SELECTIVITY: i am highly selective on this blog and am mutuals-only. this is really just for my own comfort, it’s nothing against anyone. being selective with who i write with just releases a bit of pressure with writing, you know what i mean? if we’re mutuals i absolutely want to write with you, i never follow just to follow back.

WISHLIST:  this reminds me that i currently don’t have a wishlist tag on this blog and absolutely should make one- but gosh i would love to write more threads throwing kyou at more demon muses, threads with his retired verse and really any of his other verses!! i want to add both an afterlife verse + modern au subverse where instead of a teacher kyou is a chef!! also i love plotting friendships and platonic ships, give me all the friendships... alSO TSUGUKO THREADS... kyou is ready to take on tsugukos 24/7 friendo 

tagged by:  @fleursung​ ( tysm !!! )

tagging:  @holylies​ / @unanimuse / @errantinfinity / & anyone who’d like to do this but hasn’t yet!

[ajokeformur-ray]

Is it too late to cash in on some feels? 👀 also, you're such a doll, spreading positive vibes is so important right now, so here's some for you; Erika, you're gorgeous, creative, talented, passionate, welcoming and genuinely kind! I'm so glad I know you, you ray of sunshine! 💕

asdfghjkl Ezzie!!! Ohhhh my god I was hoping you’d send an ask in skksks. It’s never too late, my love, you can always cash in! asdfghjkl me?!! OMG you’re too kind to me, thank you so much for some of the feels too!! It means a lot to me sksksk I’ve not been feeling so good recently so I wanted to put some love out there into the world! 💕💕💕

I.... admire you so heavily. You are, for starters, so beautiful. I remember seeing one of your selfies back a few months ago and I legitimately choked on my coffee, like ?? how ???? But more than that, more than that, you are... a literary genius. You are so poetic in the way that you shape words and the amount of work and research you put into how you write is truly awe-inspiring. I can only ever dream of writing such prose; such artwork should be framed or something! Even your “word vomit” (an injustice to you, my dear) is so palpable and so raw and you are such a literary inspiration to me. I daresay if you ever went into published works I’d want one of the first signed copies. You’re so passionate and your love for J just shines through in everything that you write; you and I write him differently and we view him differently, but I have so much respect for all the work, care and attention which you put into writing him and I always enjoy reading about him through your eyes; I wish I was half as brave with my own writing to explore the topics which you do! The general aesthetic of your blog is just so... inspiring and it’s so wonderfully you and it just... you are a marvel. 

I’m so sorry that you’re going through writer’s block again. We’ve spoken about it at length before but let it come to you, darling; ironically, the more you poke it, the more it’ll dig its heels in and refuse to listen (who does that sound like? *cough J cough*). I truly hope that you find your creativity flowing again, soon. You are such an inspiration to me in so many ways and I really enjoy talking with you. You’re such a beautiful, knowledgeable, intelligent, wholesome and genuinely lovely person and the overall vibe you give off is one I’ve always felt drawn to; it’s mystery, it’s dark, but it’s also... safe? I don’t know how to explain it sorry it’s 1 AM but you’re just... you truly are ✨✨✨✨, for want of a better word, and I love you so, so much. I’m sending you strength and love and I hope your laptop issue is resolved soon, if it hasn’t already been!💖

[quarterfromcanon]

2019 Fic Writing Roundup

I was tagged by my lovely friend @catty-words.

Total 2019 Word Count: 58,159

Total 2019 Hits: Asdfghjkl; Oh gosh, it’s much harder to tell when the work is only on Tumblr!  I’ll tally up the notes from there to get the closest approximation I can. It looks like there are 174 total (a mix of likes and comments) on the pieces that I posted from this past year.

Other 2019 AO3 Stats: N/A, although I did finally join AO3 *this* year, so next time around there’ll actually be things to put here! :)

Total 2018 Word Count: Published? None. I think I might have tried writing a little bit of something for myself somewhere in there, but I didn’t get back to any kind of public fandom writing until 2019.

Total 2018 Hits: None. What a difference a year can make! I look forward to comparing 2019 to whatever’s yet to come in 2020!

Other 2018 AO3 Stats: N/A

links and titles to 2019 works

Oooh, this is actually a good opportunity to list them chronologically rather than in publication sequence. Let me see if I can get them sorted. (If, however, you’d prefer to read them in the order that they were published, you can click here and simply open the installments in reverse, since Tumblr displays things oldest-to-newest.) All of the following were written for the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fandom and feature Heather x Valencia as their central pairing.

1. Barrier  [1,385 words] - Following where we last saw them in 1.09, Josh and his friends continue their beach day now sans Rebecca’s presence. Consequently, Valencia’s critical eye falls on the only other woman in their company - Heather.

2. Unexpected [3,003 words] - The conclusion of 1.18 leaves Valencia with a lot of emotional baggage to unpack. As one of West Covina’s most frequented locales, Home Base is the first place that springs to mind where she might chase away her sorrows (or perhaps just air them out verbally while all other involved parties are away at Jayma’s wedding). Heather finds herself pulled into comfort and commiseration despite her efforts to avoid involvement.

3. Lost Control and Tumbled Overboard Gladly [3,265 words] - Heather goes to her parents’ home for the first holiday visit since moving out on her own. She has her new friend Valencia in tow. Sincere conversation and the rare allowance of vulnerability break down Heather’s walls with an ease that takes her by surprise.

4. Such Sweet Nothing [1,362 words] - Valencia and Heather return to V’s apartment after their Labor Day afternoon of story-swapping and quality time together. Valencia revels in the joyful acquirement of the second gal pal of her adult life. Heather contends with the dawning realization that her interest in Valencia may not be purely for friendship.

5. There’s A Reason Not to Want This (But I Forgot) [2,418 words] - Internet sleuthing with Rebecca pulls Valencia right back into a Josh fixation spiral. Heather must also face some unresolved feelings: namely, a crush now so intense it can no longer be denied.

6. Habits [3,599 words] - The desire to protect Valencia’s heart overrides the instinct to shield her own, and so Heather ends the self-imposed avoidance of her company. She arrives on V’s doorstep with a helpful cover story and some unfortunate news that needs to be broken gently.

7. I Want Not to Want Anything [1,314 words] - Heather Davis gets Santa Ana Winded.

8. Breathless [3,673 words] - A talk with Heather about Rebecca’s impending marriage to Josh leads Valencia to reassess what matters to her. A rosé-fueled jaunt to a local green space gives rise to the persistent inkling that what - or rather who - she really wants may be a lot closer to her than she’s ready to admit.

9. No One’s Really Got It Figured Out Just Yet [3,289 words] - Valencia throws the bachelorette party for Rebecca. Gurl Group antics and H+V flirting tactics set to hits from the mid ’90s and 2000s ensue. 

10. Evading [2,207 words] - In the wake of events from 3.05 and 3.06, Heather and Valencia have a much needed heart-to-heart. They put some important truths into words while treading lightly around a few unspoken facts so delicate they’re best left in the margins.

11. How Long Do You Plan to Keep Me at the Back of Your Mind? [2,442 words] - An evening welcoming Valencia’s girlfriend Beth to be an honorary member of the Gurl Group doesn’t go quite as smoothly as planned when Heather has a difficult time harnessing her lingering feelings.

12. You and Me, Always Between the Lines [1,828 words] - Now that she has spoken with all of her immediate family members and closest friends, Valencia is prepared to announce her first romantic relationship with a woman on social media. In Beth’s absence, she seeks the moral support of her best friend. Heather is readily by her side for this next big step in Valencia’s coming out journey.

13. Gradation [2,503 words] - Valencia’s time with Beth is at an end and, in her hour of heartbreak, she returns to the same place for comfort as the previous occasion when she found herself suddenly single: across the bar from Heather.

14. Rough Draft [2,625 words] - Valencia and Heather FINALLY get together. Valencia experiences her own “Oh My God, I Think I Like You” freak out.

15. Strategy [1,212 words] - Heather and Valencia have a stay-at-home date night featuring deliberately cringey pick up lines and tangled limbs on a couch in the dark.

16. Verity [3,834 words] - Heather temporarily resumes her role as Valencia’s assistant coordinator when they plan a vow renewal celebration for Paula and Scott. On this night, the recently remarried couple may not be the only two pouring out their hearts in a room full of loved ones...

17. Different and the Same [1,035 words] - Valencia and Heather just moved into their own place. They spend their first morning there together and make good use of the privacy and freedom this new residence affords.

18. Finishing Touches [1,157 words] - Heather and Valencia personalize the interior of their new living space. The situation soon devolves into paint-splattered hijinks.

19. Patterns in the Light [1,058 words] - Despite the fact that they are literally cohabitating and have professed their feelings for each other, Valencia remains a clumsily flirty nerd and I love her for it. Heather does, too.

20. Sage [1,324 words] - After being trapped in a car with someone she didn’t want to be trapped in a car with, Heather returns covered in a dead woman’s ashes. Valencia’s time as a ghost-beleaguered home energy cleanser has arrived at last. She is uniquely qualified to save the day.

21. Portage [1,707 words] - Heather has plans for a couple’s trip with Valencia. The only obstacle is keeping it a secret between the two of them.

22. The Courage and the Strength I Need [1,957 words] - Valencia struggles during Heather’s business trip because it is their first time apart since becoming a couple. They FaceTime to ease the pain of distance and talk about their future.

23. Wanna Be With You All Alone [1,237 words] - Heather comes back from the aforementioned work travel to find that Valencia has made special welcome home arrangements.

24. Midnight, Fright and Candlelight [1,426 words] - A quiet evening is interrupted by a power outage. Heather and Valencia find a surprisingly wholesome and G-rated way to pass the time. 

25. Next to You [1,550 words] - The big yearly Davis Family Reunion quickly approaches. Valencia prepares to accompany Heather to this event and be introduced to many members of her extended family.

26. Warm Whispers [1,683 words] - Heather and Valencia just want to be all cute and domestic and spend the morning fooling around. Their cats disrupt these pursuits in typical feline fashion.

27. “When We’re Together, Darling, Every Night Is Halloween.” [1,228 words] - Heather and Valencia get ready to attend a Gurl Group Halloween party. Their second annual couple’s costume? Gomez and Morticia Addams. 

28. #afewofmyfavoritethings [2,838 words] - Nathaniel, Rebecca, Valencia, Heather, Paula, Scott, and Tommy all rent a cabin for vacation. This piece follows them through a day of wintertime fun. Pure fluffiness here and I had the best time writing every second of it.

Favorite Fic: Probably #afewofmyfavoritethings. I packed it with elements I personally love and moments I was hoping my new friends in the fandom would like. Plus, it was honestly just so good for my soul to write these characters in a soft world where they could engage in classic snow day activities and enjoy each other’s company.

Hardest Fic: I knew there were a few installments of Femslash February where I wrote whole paragraphs or even pages I didn’t keep/decided to revise, but I was pretty sure I also remembered at least one where I wrote an entire separate piece. My sleep schedule was, shall we say, not advisable during February but it was also easily the most exhilarating month of my year. I tracked down the evidence of that rewrite and it turns out the incident I recalled was for Unusual Kiss (the prompt for Day 4 of FF). The original involved something to do with butterfly kisses because, evidently, my inclination to link Valencia to winged beings knows no bounds. I’ve got to admit that I’m still fond of the concept of Valencia giving Heather a subtle “kiss” during a hug in that painfully frightening time before Beth when she was afraid to outright kiss a woman in any way that couldn’t be dismissed as platonic. There’s a good chance an interaction of that nature could appear somewhere in the full story. I am notoriously drawn to that angst period of undisclosed pining so the temptation is quite strong. Still, I’m glad I used the version I actually posted and saved elements of the first draft for later. Fragments of their conversation from the original will probably make it into the final tale, but I think I prefer to sprinkle them across several exchanges instead of divulging them all at once.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2020? Sort of yes and sort of no. I am participating in the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Valentine Exchange, which involves a prompt-esque note from the participant each of us were assigned as our guide to spark inspiration for the gift. It’s also possible that there’ll be some writing prompt list posted somewhere along the way just like Femslash February was last year, and I’ll end up wanting to join the fun. Other than that, though, I’ll mainly stick to the one writing project in an effort to hone my focus.

What was the best thing about 2019? I’d definitely say the bonding and interactions with other members of the fandom. The encouragement and support I received from them remains the primary motivation for me to keep writing and chasing after the ongoing goals I set for myself.

What was the worst thing about 2019? The most honest answer that my mind immediately supplied is death of a close relative. While that isn’t the sole reason for the dip in my creative output (especially since there were multiple months between my last published fic and the passing in question), I know it could certainly be counted among the contributing factors to an overarching writing problem I had. Even before my family’s loss, there was a shift in my thought process that only got worse once there was more on my plate in my personal life. There were many times I sat down wanting to write again but it felt too difficult and intimidating to commit words to the page. I couldn’t seem to transfer them from my mind to the keyboard and I’d invariably switch to doing something else. I developed this terrible internal conviction that insisted the larger fic I wanted to write wouldn’t work as well as the shorter installments. That gnawing insecurity would have me believe one month’s worth of well-received efforts was already such a marvel that anything beyond that point was somehow pushing my luck. Where did the mental voice originate and why couldn’t I shake it? It’s difficult to parse out but what I do know is that I’ve firmly decided 2020 is going to be a year I put it on silent. I know what it’ll mean to me for everything that’s been floating in my head to finally be told in one cohesive format, and to have the satisfaction of giving my favorite characters the ending my heart says they deserve. It’s a sense of closure that’s worth the pursuit.

Any last thoughts for 2019? The bad parts of the last twelve months made me want to essentially say “good riddance” to the year, but the good parts were far too treasured to wish all of 2019 away. I am so grateful for the new people I met and friendships that solidified during that time. I especially owe my most heartfelt appreciation to @catty-words, @notbang, and @monaiargancoconutsoy. Thank you for everything. <3

Goals for 2020

Finish. The. Fic.

I believe everyone I know who writes fanfic has already been tagged but, if you haven’t gotten the chance to look back over your writing year, by all means, use these questions to give it a go! :)