#I wanted a three story house she wanted to live by a body of water...with her children and their father - children and their father: 3 sons

[bumblingbabooshka]

B’Elanna/Seven voted most likely to do kissing/dating practice and somehow think the other person doesn’t actually like them.

[planetaryupscaled]

Our Little Secret

Male Reader x Eunbi

Tags: 4k, creampie, stepmom

The story is not ours; we simply alter the original story to our preferred settings.

“Oh you like that? you naughty boy.”

I became a new half-brother three months ago, at the age of twenty-three. Though I know this is completely normal, it still feels strange to be so much older than my sister. Even stranger that my step-mom is not much older than me. A year ago, my dad married a twenty seven year old woman. She had her child three months ago at the age of 28. It still feels strange to see them with a baby. But I'm getting used to it.

As I walked up to the door of their house, I took out my key and unlocked the door letting myself in. Walking in, I set my bag next to the staircase.

“Hello.”

“Hey Tae,” my step-mother, Eunbi, called. “In the living room.”

Walking into the living room I was a little startled as she was breastfeeding Sooyun on the couch.

“I hope you’re not offended by this,” Eunbi said looking up at me with smile. “I was just finishing giving her a snack before putting her down for bed.”

“Oh no, not at all,”

“Good,” she replied with a soft smile. “Going to put her down and let your dad watch her for a while. Though he’s taking a quick nap, had a hard day at work I guess.”

“Figures,” I said with a bit of a knowing look.

“Yep, that’s him. Always the party crasher,” Eunbi said as she walked out of the room.

As Eunbi walked by me, I caught a glimpse of one of her breasts, as she hadn't put that side of her spaghetti strap top back on. She obviously wasn’t wearing a bra and while I had noticed it before, her breasts really had grown quite a bit since her pregnancy. Probably has a lot to do with the milk stored in them now. She used to probably be something like a B cup, I never looked that hard really, she is my step-mother after all.

I was sitting on the couch with a bottle of water by the time she came back into the living room. Walking back in I looked a little more closely. At her breasts and entire body, they really had grown a considerable amount.

Eunbi was very attractive. She had pretty tanned skin and black long hair that flowed down her shoulders. Her eyes were dark brown. She was pretty much back in good shape, loosing most of all that extra pregnancy weight, which just in three months is pretty amazing. Eunbi was about 5’3” I would guess and what she was wearing only helped make her look better. Not that she really needs it.

Since it was the middle of summer, it made sense that she had on the black spaghetti strap top which she had put back into place but still no bra. She was wearing light colored jean shorts that probably went to about mid-thigh, showing off her legs nicely with a pair easy slip-on sandal.

“Would you like anything else to drink?” Eunbi asked as she noticed my bottle of water.

“No, water is just fine,” I replied with a soft smile.

“Oh being healthy tonight huh?” she teased lightly.

“Hey! I am, most of the time,” I shot back playfully.

“Well,” she replied looking at me. “With a physique like that, you must.”

“Water does help,” I replied mid laugh and with a smile. “Thanks.”

Eunbi then walked over and sat next to me on the couch as she turned on the TV, with only about four inches separating our legs. She turned down the volume enough so that we could still hear each other talking.

“So did you have a decent day?” Eunbi asked turning her head to look at me.

“Eh it wasn’t so bad,” I replied with a smile. There was a moment after I replied that we both looked into each other's eyes for a second longer than usual before we both turned our heads to look back at the TV.

“Ahh shoot,” Eunbi sighed as she stretched her legs out in front of her, stretching her muscles. “I forgot Sooyun’s bottle in the kitchen, and I am so full of milk right now. Sooyun didn’t want much earlier.”

She gently held her breasts underneath them on the bottom as she referred to how full they were. It was then that I noticed her nipples were really hard and pushing outward underneath her top. It feels kind of wrong marveling at her breasts like that, but I can’t say I don’t like them either.

“I’ll go get it for you.” As I was about to go get it, she held my hand.

“Oh no, don’t worry about it, I can do it later.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah…” she replied with a smile. As she said that she moved herself right next to me, the sides of our bodies touching and she laid her head down on my shoulder, “I’m sure.”

I wrapped my arm around her, letting my hand rest on her shoulder as I held her gently. Her hair smelled good too, she must have taken a shower a little bit before I got here. A fruity smell, maybe mango or something like that.

“I hope she turns out to be as nice and caring as you,” Eunbi said softly with her head still on my shoulder and looking forward.

“I’m sure she will and thank you for the compliment.”

With that she moved her head and looked up at me with her pretty brown eyes and said, “Of course. You fully deserve it. You’re a wonderful step son.”

I smiled back as she said that, meeting her smile. We held the gaze for a few moments looking into each other's eyes, perhaps a couple seconds too long this time. Breaking the gaze, she laid her head back on my shoulder. Looking down I noticed her nipples were still hard, maybe even harder now.

“This may sound kind of strange but I was wondering,” I started to ask looking down at her. “Do you ever...taste yourself? I’m just curious. I would think mothers would.”

Propping her head up a bit she looked back at me and asked, “You mean my milk?”

“Umm...” I started to reply as I let it sink it what she said. Realizing that what I asked could have meant something else that I didn’t mean to ask at all I quickly said, “Yes, your milk.”

“I have actually, yes... it’s kind of sweet tasting with a bit of a saltiness to it,” she said giggling a little bit as she smiled back at me obviously getting what I was realizing. “Why? Did you wonder what it tasted like?”

“Just curious, really,” I replied somewhat innocently. “Though I guess now that I think about it, yeah I did.”

“Would you like to try some? It is safe for grown people too!” she said playfully.

“Umm, I guess…” I said somewhat hesitantly. Not quite what I had in mind but this seemed o.k. “Do I need a glass or something?” dumb question to ask on my part.

“No need,” she said with a smile looking me in the eyes. “It is best if you try it from the source.”

“Eunbi...” I called out her name. “I’m not sure that’s a great idea... I know we’re not related and all but you are my step mom.”

“Its fine…” she said reassuringly. “One little suck isn’t mean anything and no one will ever know but us.”

With that, she pushed both straps of her top down her arms, over and off of her breasts. Exposing them. Her large tanned skin, luscious looking breasts were gorgeous. Her aureoles were dark pink, large, and swollen, and her nipples were hard and pushed straight out. Her breasts hung down slightly, which she pushed out by pushing her chest forward as she looked at me.

“Wow they’re gorgeous,” I whispered softly under my breath, realizing a moment later she probably heard me.

“Thanks,” she replied with a smile looking at me and gently cupping her breasts at the bottom of them. “Take your pick as to which one you want your sample from. Just be careful, they’re extra sensitive right now.”

I smiled back, looking her in her eyes before slowly lowering my head. I moved my mouth toward the one closest to me—her left one. As my mouth neared her nipple, I slowly stuck out my tongue and gently flicked the tip of her nipple. She drew in a short quick gasp as I did and I knew, even if it was wrong, that she probably wouldn’t mind if I had more than one quick suck.

As my mouth reached her nipple, I grasped it with my lips. Gently flicking it with my tongue inside my mouth, I began to softly suck on her hard nipple. Feeling milk seep out of her nipple and into my mouth I sucked a little bit harder as then her milk squirted into my mouth. It did taste somewhat sweet with a hint of saltiness. It wasn’t too bad as I swallowed it and sucked harder, getting more of her milk into my mouth.

After that larger suck I removed my mouth and ran my tongue from her nipple all the way across her other breast to her other nipple. Grasping that one in my lips just as I had the other, I began sucking on it taking her milk into my mouth. Moving my hand up I very gently pinched her other nipple as I sucked.

“Ohhh,” Eunbi sucked in a sharp gasp. “Oh Tae, I haven’t been touched like this in months. This isn’t right but… don’t stop.”

Hearing her say that only made me suck harder, taking more of her sweet warm milk into my mouth. After I had a little more of her milk, I removed my lips from her nipple and looked up at her smiling. She returned the smile and looked at me with her brown eyes which said that she clearly wanted more.

Moving my head up to be level with hers, I took a chance and leaned in and kissed her gently on her soft lips. She didn’t back away, instead she kissed me back, gently at first but soon we were kissing passionately. She had wrapped her arms around me, pressing her breasts into my chest. I had one arm around her while my other hand was pinching one of her hard nipples.

In the middle of our embrace, she abruptly stopped and pulled away. Looking back at me, “We can’t… This is wrong, what are we thinking? especially not right here and now, your dad, he’s only taking a nap. He could wake at any time.”

“Yeah...” I sighed softly as I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. “I guess you’re right.”

“No more of that either, except this last one…” she said with a sly smile as she gave me a hard deep kiss before pulling away.

Eunbi then cupped her breasts in her hands, gently kneading them outward squirting her milk out of her nipples at me, particularly my face. I smiled at her as she did it a few times before putting her top correctly back on.

“I’m so glad you liked that,” she said gently wiping the milk off my face. “I don’t know if we can ever continue this, it is wrong, but deep inside, I definitely want to.”

“Am too,” I smiled back at her.

“Good, I am glad we understand each other,” she replied. “I'll go get dinner ready.”

With that she got up off the couch and left the living room. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Was this some kind of dream? I pinch myself, nope I guess it wasn’t. I really had just sucked milk out of my step-mothers nipples and we had both enjoyed it immensely.

The rest of the evening went by and we had our dinner, and talked about random things before saying our goodnights and heading to bed.

Getting to my room was all the way up the third floor of the house. It was somewhat of a loft because it was the only thing up here. The staircase came directly into the room after opening the door. But you didn't have to go up a ladder, so it wasn't really a loft. Getting into bed I decided to sleep naked like I normally do. It was warm enough and after a little while of dozing, I fell right asleep.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to hear the baby during the night as they were all the way down on the first floor. But sure enough I was able to as at about 2 am when she started crying. After about 30 minutes it seemed to be perfectly quiet again with no outbursts at all.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the door to my room creak open, then close again. Looking up from my bed still in a groggy sleep, I saw Eunbi standing near the door, watching me. She was wearing what looks to be a silk nightgown in a light peach shade color that goes down to her mid-thigh. Her nipples were hard again and pushing against the fabric. I smiled at her as she looked at me.

“I know I said we probably couldn’t do any of this again,” she said quietly. “But my body and mind are just begging to be touched again. I haven’t been touched like you did earlier in a long time.

“Your dad once I got close to term with Sooyun stopped wanting to be with me in this sort of way for the most part. And now after she’s born, it’s been even worse. I need, and want the attention.”

“I don’t know how anyone could pass up someone as gorgeous and sexy as you,” I replied with a smile.

As I said that, she walked over to the edge of my bed, pulled back the covers, and got in next to me, smiling. She placed herself close to mine before she leaned in and kissed me, we kissed passionately as she ran her hand down the side of my body from my shoulder down to my thigh.

“Sleeping naked huh?” she whispered with a mischievous smile. “I like that. I’m only wearing this nightgown, and I’m sure we could change that.”

“Oh?” I commented giving her soft kiss. “Well, why don't we right now?”

Eunbi smiled at me as she sat up in bed and pulled her nightgown over her head, revealing her wonderful breasts as well as her pussy. Looking down, I noticed she had some hair down there before wriggling back under the covers and pushing closer to me.

“Sorry about the hair down there,” she said looking down her body. “I have let it grow lately without doing much to it.”

“Sorry?” I replied with a bit of shock that she was apologizing. “You’re gorgeous how you are. I love it.”

“Really?” She commented excitedly with a smile and a warm kiss. “I’ll keep it then. Just for you. Our little secret.”

Gently running my hand down her soft skin on the outside of her thigh I slowly moved inside and then upward. She instinctively moved her legs apart as I reached her pussy, which was hairy, wet and warm.

“Mmmmm,” Eunbi moaned quietly as my hands ran across the slit of her pussy lips. “I need this so bad.”

“And I want this too bad.” I said.

Eunbi trying to push her pussy down more onto my hand. “You can have all of me that you want, the way you want.”

I gently slipped two fingers into her wet throbbing pussy and began pushing them in and out of her, curling them inside as she moaned quietly in pleasure. Taking my fingers out, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body against mine, pressing my hard thick cock into her mound of pussy hair as I kissed her deeply and passionately.

She broke away a little bit and grasped my hard cock in her hand, starting to stroke it up and down with her slender fingers from its base to its head.

“Ohhh Eunbi…” I moaned as she increased her speed while stroking my hard cock. “That feels so good… don’t stop.”

As she continued to stroke my cock, I took one of her breasts in my mouth. Wrapping my lips around one of her hard nipples I began to suck on it letting her milk squirt into my mouth. I continued to suck on it, letting more and more of her sweet milk into my mouth. She stopped stroking me as intensely as she was groaning in pleasure from my sucking and pinching of her other nipple.

“Oh god Tae, yes...take all the milk you want from me,” she moaned in pleasure.

Smiling up at her after she said that, I moved to her other breast licking her big sensitive dark pink swollen aureole before grasping her nipple with my lips. Sucking in I took more large squirts of her milk into my mouth, savoring its sweet taste.

Eunbi had moved her hand back to my hard cock and was slowly stroking it up and down, playing with the head of it and any pre-cum with her thumb.

“Mmmm, oh yes,” I groaned lightly as I took my mouth off of her nipple.

“Oh do you like that Tae?” Eunbi asked playfully. “Glad you do because I can’t go any longer without your big hard thick cock inside me. I’m throbbing for it more than I knew I ever could.”

With that she threw back the covers on the bed and straddled me. Kneeling over me she pressed my cock down on my stomach with her hairy pussy and grinded gently on it. Smiling down at me she began to knead her breasts outward, squirting milk out of them toward my chest and face.

“Do you like that? Oh you naughty boy,” she said with a mischievous smile as her milk squirted out of her hard nipples over me. “I’m a mommy now. Do you want to fuck your step mommy’s pussy? You better, because I want your hard cock so bad.”

I nodded as she moved her hips up, placing the tip of my cock on the slit of her hairy pussy. She gently moved my tip of my cock along her lips, feeling her pussy hair before pushing her hips down, sliding the head of my cock inside her.

“Ohh god…” Eunbi gasped as it entered her and she continued pushing down, taking me all inside. “Oh yes...yes. Fill me up, mommy wants all your cock!”

I pushed up as she slid down my hard thick cock, pushing my entirety into my step-mom’s love hole. Her wet pussy was swishing around my cock as she began to go up and down on me.

Eunbi was bouncing up and down, lifting her hips all the way up so just the head of my cock was inside her before pushing herself right back down to the base of my cock. Her big swollen breasts were jiggling frantically up and down as she rode me. I reached up and began massaging her breasts as she bounced, making her spray her milk.

She bent down so I could take her nipple in my mouth as she continued to push herself up and down on my hard cock. I began sucking on her nipple, enjoying the flow of her milk into my mouth.

“Oh god, yes,” Eunbi moaned as I sucked on her nipple taking her milk. “Suck out mommy’s milk while you fuck me...ohhhh, god yes.”

My cock was pumping in and out of her wet pussy and I continued to suck out her milk from her nipples.

I then slid my hands down the sides of her body to her waist as Eunbi sat upright on top of me again, bouncing up and down on my hard cock. I could feel her pussy walls loosely grasping at my cock as I pushed into her. She was moaning with her head back and hair flowing down her back. Her juices were leaking out of her pussy and down my cock to my balls, making a spot on the bed.

I could feel my cock beginning to thicken inside of her as well as my balls beginning to contract as she continued to ride me. Eunbi could feel it too as she went up and down even fast and harder.

“Oh you’re going to cum soon aren’t you?” Eunbi said breathing heavily looking down at me with a smile. “You better cum deep inside of me. Mommy needs to be full of cum, maybe you get yourself another sibling.” She said with a seductive smile.

We were both moaning as my cock continued to thicken inside her as I went hard and fast in and out her wet cunt. I began to feel her pussy contract in pleasure and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Thrusting myself up deep inside of her, Eunbi slammed down on my cock and sat there grinding into me as I began to spasm inside of her. My cock was erupting inside of her, spraying my warm sticky cum deep into my step-mom’s pussy. Eunbi continued to grind on me causing her hanging breasts to sway back and forth as my cock still pushed my cum out and deep inside her.

“Oh god...fuck…yes...” Eunbi breathed out sharply as she felt my cum shoot deep inside her wanting pussy. “God that feels good, oh I needed this so bad. Oh Tae, you’ve made mommy feel so… so good!”

Looking up at her smiling, I reached up cupping her breasts and gently pinched her swollen nipples before massaging her breasts. Softly kneading them her nipples began to spray out more milk onto my chest. Eunbi then replaced her hands with mine as she lifted her hips up, removing my wet cock from her wet pussy. Laying down beside me, Eunbi massaged her breasts aiming her spraying milk at my chest and face. Licking my lips I took as much of her sweet milk as I could smiling.

“So love that you like this,” Eunbi said giggling at me with her milk on my face. “I need this from you more than just this once.”

“So I take it, mommy...is doing alright?” I said with a smile, emphasizing the word mommy.

She gave me a huge smile as I said that, leaning in and giving me a big warm kiss. She then pushed her hips toward me as we were lying on our sides, pressing her mound of pubic hair against my semi-limp wet cock. I pushed my hips forward rubbing against her hair as I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her passionately.

“Yes, oh yes,” Eunbi whispered breaking our embrace. “Only thing mommy would want now, is more of your cum in mommy’s already cum filled pussy,” she added with a warm smile.

Giving her a mischievous smile, I rolled her onto her back and got on top of her. Her legs spread apart instinctively as I climbed on top of her. My cock was now hard again; I teased her with it, gently rubbing the tip of it on her hairy pussy lips.

“Oh god… no teasing, just fuck me already, fill me up with that hard cock,” Eunbi breathed as she heaved her hips upwards.

Pushing my hips down, I slid my hard cock into her sopping wet pussy easily. Starting to move my hips up and down, I was pushing my hard thick cock as deep into her as I could go.

Her walls of her pussy were grasping at my cock, hugging it as tight as they could. Our juices had mixed together and were seeping out of her now, trickling out of her pussy down over her ass and to the bed, making a bit of a little puddle.

Thrusting my hard thick cock into here sopping wet hairy pussy, she was matching my motions by thrusting her hips up. God, she felt so good wrapping around my cock. I wish I could do this all day long but I knew that wasn’t going to happen plus I wasn’t going to be able to last that long this time.

Continuing to push my hard cock into her, I cupped one of her breasts in my hand and brought my head down toward it. Running my tongue around the dark swollen aureole I then grasped her hard nipple and sucked. Her milk squirted out, filling my mouth with her sweetness.

“Mmmmm!... Oh god yes,” Eunbi moaned bucking her hips up hard. “Take mommy’s milk in your mouth.... oh yes, like that...and her pussy, oh yes...push your hard cock deep into mommy’s pussy.”

I couldn’t take it much longer, my hard cock was thickening inside her as my balls were beginning to contract while I took one more suck from her nipple, tasting her sweet milk in my mouth over my tongue. She could tell I wasn’t going to last much longer as she pushed her hips up hard and wrapped her legs around my ass pulling me in.

Pressing my cock into her wet hairy loose pussy as deep as it could go, I began to let go. My cock started to convulse inside her tightening pussy walls, spraying my second warm sticky cum deep into her pussy. Bucking her hips into me, Eunbi moaned as my cock pushed out more of my cum into her warm pussy.

As we subsided, we collapsed in each other’s arms laying on our sides. Eunbi was pressing her big soft luscious breasts against my chest as she smiled at me.

“Oh Tae,” she said softly. “You’ve no idea how happy you’ve made me.”

“No?” I replied with a smile.

“You filled my pussy with so much cum, I hadn’t had any for so long and now all this...oh god it feels so good,” she whispered with a big smile as she wiggled her hips against me.

Eunbi then reached her hand between her legs, plunging two of her fingers deep into her pussy coating them in the mixture of our juices. Pulling them out she brought them up to her mouth and slowly sucked the juices off of them, savoring the taste.

Smiling back at me with her gorgeous brown eyes after she sucked off the last of our juices on her two fingers, I pushed my naked body against hers as we slowly drifted off to sleep.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive

demon!mingi x human!reader

fantasy au (inspired by howl's moving castle)

word count: ~26k

genres: fluff, really angsty, suggestive, mention of hostage situation, violence warnings, whiplash warning lol

synopsis: you finally run away from the clutches of your stepmother and encounter mingi, infamously known as 'the child of shadows'. you join his gang of three- the high healer wooyoung and the white flame seonghwa and start living with them. you find out mingi is cursed to share a body with the shadow demon that goes by the name erebos and start falling for it and mingi eventually, though tragic consequences await you as you find out more about the demon's curse.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (we were writing diff fics side by side on docs and messed up the tenses so bad)

The last thing you remembered as you woke up after what had to be another fainting spell was that your wrists had been tied together and you were locked in the tower of your house– but as you looked around and found nothing but the woods and greens of the forests, you started to feel dread creep up your chest and bubble out in the form of a short sob.

You spent only a few seconds trying to recall how you got here- you had run away from home and this time, you had succeeded, but now you needed to get as far away from the town as possible. You got up, not bothering to brush the leaves and dirt off your cloak and instead tried to figure out what direction you had been aiming for- the setting sun. Thankfully, it wasn’t dark just yet so you followed the rays of the sun and started running a little more carefully this time, head still dizzy from the overwhelmingness of the situation.

Sieun’s plan was perfect. She was one of the servants back at the castle house, a place that had once been your home when your father was still alive- under the reign of your stepmother, though, everything had gone to hell. She was the only one who had dared to help you escape and succeeded. You did not want to think about what had happened to those who failed.

You licked your dry lips and wondered if the sound of water you could hear was actually a stream or just a bait- afterall, this was a town of mages. It might be a trick to lure people- but…

There was someone else in your town now, someone feared by mages and humans alike. ‘The Child of Shadows’, they called him among his many other names. You had only heard rumours about him and you weren’t sure if they were true. What you did know was that as a mere human, you had to avoid him at absolutely all costs. You’d had enough of living in the shadows already.

The sun was starting to set so you decided to find shelter and followed the sound of the stream. The running water was cool to touch and you washed your face and hands before drinking it. You searched in the pockets of your cloak, finding a piece of bread and devouring it in a few bites, almost choking on it- you felt a sudden sense of dread when you realised that something about this whole situation was off-

Silence. It was awfully silent- you didn’t realise when the birds stopped chirping and the bugs stopped buzzing- not even the sound of a leaf in the air. The water and the unsteady beats of your heart were the only thing you could hear. You gulped, trying to recall when exactly the forest fell silent when you heard the sounds of leaves rustling behind you. You whipped your head around and pulled the knife out of your sleeve, pointing it at-

Not one, but a bunch of soldiers. You immediately put your knife back.

“Are you lost, miss?” One of them asked, a middle aged man with a unique moustache. “You look pale.”

“No, I… I’m travelling so I just stopped to eat-”

“Travelling? Alone?” Another soldier said, not buying your story. “Miss, you know the protocols, right? We would need to see your identification.”

This was it. 

Without any identification, travelling alone? They were going to put you behind bars. That would be better than going back to the dungeons of your house, you thought, as the little spark of hope you had been harbouring ever since you escaped started to dim-

“She’s not alone,” a deep, raspy voice boomed and for a moment you froze, wondering if it had reverberated inside you. You found yourself unable to turn, instead letting the source of the voice come in your vision.

Nothing about him screamed normal, from his ragged appearance to his unmistakable dark aura, and even the soldiers took a step back. You remained frozen as he passed you a glance- such sharp eyes- and dug something from his bag, showing it to the soldiers. They looked from the card to you and back, straightening, and as if a spell had been casted over them, they bowed and turned back to join their squad.

The man who had just saved you turned and you scanned him again- hair swept back in black and blue spikes adding more sharpness to his pointy features, the dark cloak on his broad body not helping with the air he exuded-

“Who are you?” You managed to ask, taking a step back and finally understanding why the soldiers had too.

He passed an awkward smile and held his bag close. “Just a passerby.”

“What did you show to the soldiers? And where did you come from?”

“So many questions for someone who’s travelling alone, in this state,” he glanced at your rags hidden under your cloak before stepping towards you and you reflexively pointed your knife at him, making him scoff in amusement. “I’m sorry but this knife won’t do much to me,” he waved a hand and the knife turned to ashes and you gaped at it.

“You’re a mage…” your heart sank to your feet- you really were done for this time. He shrugged and started down on the path, turning to you after a few steps.

“Aren’t you gonna follow me?”

You hated how his voice made you obey instantly- more out of curiosity than fear, which was new considering the stories you’d heard about mages. Your own experience with mages was not the best either. You cleared your throat, falling just a step behind him and matching his pace from there. “Where are we going?”

“Where are you going? You seemed to have run away,” he said casually. You wondered if he often encountered runaways on the road.

“I just need to get as far away from this town as possible,” you almost shivered and he nodded.

“I’m travelling anyway. I don’t mind if you join- as long as you don’t make too much noise.”

“I can be as silent as a pin,” you told him and he glanced at you in amusement. 

“Aren’t you scared of travelling with a stranger?” You ignored that, wondering what you would do if he tried something with you. However, his shoulders shook from laughter and he said, “Relax. I’m not alone either- I have company.”

You should have known that by company he meant more mages, and you were cursing internally at the thought of being surrounded by mages, because what if someone decided to take advantage of the fact that you were a mere human? Your stepmother had, even when she was human herself- and all she wanted was for you to hand over your assets to her. You wouldn’t put it past this bunch to not do the same.

What you didn’t expect was how incredibly normal they seemed. Their appearance? Not so much, but the way they approached the mage who accompanied you? You frowned as you watched their comfortable interaction- you couldn’t sense anything from them that would give you a hint of who they were, but you wondered if you were the only one who felt that dark, crushing aura of your companion. 

“And who’s our new guest?” The man with white hair approached with a gentle smile though he passed a sceptical glance at your companion. “Another one, Mingi? Already?” 

“What do you mean, already, it’s been a few decades. Don’t scare her off,” the shorter one tsk-ed at him and approached you with the warmest smile. “I’m Jung Wooyoung- you can call me Wooyoung. You might know me as the High Healer-”

“Wooyoung-”

“The High Healer?” You gasped.

Wooyoung folded his arms. “Yes?”

You looked at the other two in disbelief but when they didn’t react, you shook your head, trying to make sense of it. “You’re the High Healer.”

“I am,” Wooyoung’s voice was low and contained a hint of worry. “What’s the matter?”

You had been out to find him.

“Nothing, just-” you looked at the man who had accompanied you. “Who are you then?”

“Song Mingi,” he told you and you raised a brow, expecting more but he didn’t give in. You looked at the white-haired man.

“Park Seonghwa. The White Flame,” he muttered and you nodded- you had heard of him, alright. The Fallen Angel. You were wondering if that really was the case or if it was just a title he earned because he looked like one. “Did you lose your way while travelling?”

“I ran away,” you straightened- might as well pretend not to be a coward than quivering in their company. The healer hooted at that and you were once again surprised by the man’s behaviour- nothing like your father had told you. “You’re not how I imagined you to be.”

“Ah, I get that a lot,” he winked, “Everyone imagines a boring old balding man with a long beard, don’t they?”

“I mean,” you shrugged. “You are supposed to be old, aren’t you?”

“I’m not even that old,” he waved his hand dismissively. “They’ve got multiple centuries over me- they’re older.”

“Centuries?” You gaped at Mingi- you weren’t surprised about the White Flame- he was as old as time itself, and you wondered if part of his magic was exuding a calm air so you wouldn’t panic in his presence. Because nothing about the White Flame shook you to the core like Mingi’s presence did. 

“That’s enough,” Mingi exhaled. “Let’s go home.”

You followed the three, wondering what was up with this odd bunch- the White Flame and the High Healer living in the same place didn’t make sense at all. So who was this Song Mingi? You tried recalling anything that rung a bell, but-

You paused when the three abruptly stopped and watched Mingi wave a hand in the air, and what you saw next took your breath away- it was as if a layer of fog had been lifted and you could suddenly see-

“That’s your home?”

Ruins was what it was. A house falling apart on itself. It was as if someone had gathered planks of wood and nailed them wherever they could- there were windows, yes, but everything was absolutely crooked.

Mingi turned slowly to glare at you, once again making you gulp. Wooyoung butted in between the two of you. “The inside is not that bad, I promise.”

Mingi and Seonghwa ignored the two of you, talking in hushed voices as they started to go inside. You stood frozen in place, feeling an odd sense of danger and calm battling for dominance within you. Wooyoung nudged you along but when you stopped again, he asked, “Do you not want to come inside?”

“Should I?” You locked eyes with him. “I’ve heard you’re a good person, High Healer.”

“I’ve heard that too,” he said with a smug smile.

“People- humans trust you. You help them, right?” When he nodded, you continued. “Tell me then, would I regret joining the three of you? Even if it’s for just one night?”

“If it’s for one night? Not really. You could be on your way tomorrow. But if you choose to stay,” Wooyoung pursed his lips. “I can’t guarantee you won’t regret it.”

“Well, at least you’re candid about it,” you started walking and Wooyoung grinned. “Just know I wouldn’t be walking towards that ‘house’ right now if it weren’t for you.”

“You seem to know me,” Wooyoung’s eyes twinkled. “Have we met?”

You simply smiled- he wouldn’t know you. This was your first time meeting him as well, however, your father was acquainted with him. You decided not to mention it to him right now.

The house did look better inside, you had to agree- it was a mess, still, but it did look like people were actually living in it. Seonghwa was in the kitchen and you tried to let the image of the White Flame doing dishes sink in. Wooyoung was laughing loudly at your expressions and you awkwardly glanced around, taking off your cloak and sitting by the fireplace. 

“I always get such a kick out of whenever someone sees Seonghwa in the kitchen,” Wooyoung wiped his eyes, handing you a glass of what looked like orange juice which you gladly accepted. “Who would have thought the White Flame was obsessed with keeping his kitchen clean, right?”

“I don’t know where all of you got the impression that I would be doing something else,” Seonghwa muttered. “I have a house to manage and two kids to take care of.”

“Two children?” You frowned and Wooyoung guiltily raised his hand, you realised he was referring to Wooyoung and Mingi as the two kids. You looked at Wooyoung, “Well, where are the others?”

“What others?”

“You said you get a kick out of people watching Seonghwa in the kitchen. Do you often have visitors or are there others here?”

When Seonghwa and Wooyoung met eyes and shared a look, you knew whatever he’d tell you would be a lie so you decided to ask something else. “What happens to those who decide to stay with you for longer than a day?”

“You’re very sceptical of us,” Seonghwa tossed the washcloth in the sink and folded his arms as he leaned against the counter to almost glare at you. “If you’re going to keep asking questions when we’ve given you shelter, you might as well leave at the crack of dawn.”

And, there it was. Your suspicions that Seonghwa was making a conscious effort to emanate a calm air were confirmed when you felt a shift in the air and something heavy started settling in your heart, making your throat feel tight. Wooyoung called Seonghwa’s name in warning.

“Let’s be patient with a curious guest, we don’t often get that,” he waved dismissively and Seonghwa went back to fiddling with the utensils. You didn’t realise how hard you were clutching the glass until Wooyoung patted your back. “Don’t mind him. He’s so old he gets cranky sometimes. Would you like to take a tour of the mansion?”

“Mansion?” You almost laughed and he grinned.

“What better name to call this beauty?” He looked around and as if on cue, a pipe at the far end of the room burst, spraying water and startling all of you. Seonghwa muttered a curse under his breath before he went to examine it and you turned to the healer in amusement.

“Sure,” you smiled. “I would like a tour.”

—--------------------

The thing about mages was that they did not care for humans. They really, really didn’t- they were not humans. They would not understand the simple human struggles, such as why they always think selfishly- humans had a shorter lifespan after all, unlike most mages. Mages also didn’t quite understand that some humans had more things to worry about than death- there were more important things.

Such as finally being able to live.

You were sitting in front of the fireplace in the middle of the night, not quite sleepy. You reckoned it was because you still hadn’t made a decision- did you want to leave? What would you do if you left? How far could you make it travelling on your own, really? Sooner or later, someone was going to take advantage of you and you would meet a fate worse than death- something similar to what your life had been before you finally ran away from home.

And if you decided to stick with these mages… 

“What are you doing here?” 

You turned to the source of voice, identifying his presence first. Mingi. Why did his voice feel different this time? You straightened your dress and posture, not feeling a need to answer, wondering if it was the lack of sleep that was making you hear things-

“I asked you something.”

You frowned as you looked at him again- yes, he was Mingi, but why did he sound… different? 

“Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“I thought you’d know that- it is you all who gave me the ultimatum,” you narrowed your eyes as you scanned him- he was wearing a cloak. Was he going out at this hour of the night? 

“Ah, did we?” He suddenly sounded… cockier. You watched him step closer and pick something from the mantel and bury it in his pockets before you could see it. When he turned, you noticed the colour of his eyes now that the fire illuminated half of his face-

His eyes were almost glowing.

“Say, would you like some fresh air?” He suggested and you all but gaped at his sudden change of demeanour. 

“Why would I go out to get some fresh air with someone I don’t even know at this hour of the night?”

“Well, you are staying in a house with three strangers who just happen to be mages, aren’t you?” He shifted his weight to one leg. “I told them not to let more of you humans in, but they always insist it’s for ‘the better’.”

“Why?” You dared to ask.

“Why would mages welcome human company, right?” Mingi scoffed. “Think about that before you go to sleep tonight, little bird.”

Even though your heart sank, you dared to ask, “Would you mind if I stayed?”

His almost devilish smirk made you wish you had never asked that. He stepped closer, slowly, until he was right in front of you and you had to crane your neck to meet his eyes. You let him trace the side of your face, feeling in your bones first that this wasn’t the person you had met in the woods, not the one with the warm smile who had saved you, not the one who had been so hesitant to meet your eyes.

This wasn’t Song Mingi.

“Who are you?” You almost whispered and his eyes twinkled.

“I’m the shadows that you fear, little bird,” his voice sounded ancient, spreading like the very shadows he mentioned around you. He patted your cheek once, almost condescendingly, before disappearing and you wondered just what you were getting into. “And you should fly away when you still have the chance.”

You, of course, decided to stay. Simply out of spite.

You have always been like this. When your father died, you were far too young to exercise your authority and influence as the inheritor of the noble title and all of his assets, and you let your stepmother take advantage of you as you succumbed to grief. But as the grief started becoming something like background and you finally realised how you were trapped, you decided you would never let anyone get the better of you again.

Your stepmother had treated you like an inconvenience, and as you started rebelling, it took the shape of an ugly war. You, however, did not have anyone who had your back. Your stepmother had influence around town and she used that, hired mages to put wards around her house to keep you from leaving. You always asked her why she wouldn’t simply let you go. Perhaps, she was afraid she would lose. But it got to the point that you wondered if she was paranoid- especially when she started using numbing potions on you, locking you in a room in the tower. 

Now that you hadn’t had that potion in two days, it was as if you were finally regaining your senses. The world was clearer and you felt awake for once. You owed it all to Sieun who had gained your stepmother’s trust, only to pretend to give you those numbing potions and a chance to run away. You could do nothing but pray she wasn’t locked in that tower like you, that she didn’t meet a fate worse than you did.

So maybe, it was spite. Maybe you simply didn’t want to be told what to do anymore that you decided to stick with this odd group of mages and see where it took you- after all, you had nowhere to go.

But it was also slightly because you knew you could trust the healer because your father had told you so, and because you were so intrigued about who this Song Mingi was. He had to be someone you had heard about- he felt too powerful to be a simple mage. He was too old to be a simple mage. The White Flame you had heard enough tales about. But…

A knock sounded on your door and you, who had been in the middle of making the bed, cleared your throat. The door opened and a mess of white hair greeted you, eyes curious. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t run away in the night,” Seonghwa commented and you shrugged. “Slept well?”

“Not really, but that’s the nerves,” you finished straightening the duvet, glancing around. “And might also be the abundance of spiders in your ‘beautiful mansion’.”

“Ah, I swear I cleaned this room two days ago but the spiders keep coming,” he stood awkwardly in the doorway and you had to stop and stare at him- was he actually taking you seriously? “So you decided to stay?”

“For now,” you nodded slowly. “If you’re fine with it?”

“Oh, I don’t care,” Seonghwa admitted. “Wooyoung would love to talk to someone else other than the two of us too.”

“And… Mingi?”

Seonghwa raised a brow and you felt a shift in the air that almost made you bend. You frowned in confusion but Seonghwa was eyeing you knowingly. “Did you talk to him in private or something?”

“In the middle of the night…” you told him. “He basically told me to go away.”

“Ah. But you’re staying?”

“Yes,” you folded your arms. “That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Not at all,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “But a word of advice for you- stay in your own room during the night. You don’t want to see things that you won’t like.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “That’s for me to decide, but thank you.”

Seonghwa shook his head in mild amusement. “I guess the potion is wearing off.”

“You can tell?” You wowed. Of course he could. He was a mage. 

“You’re not the same person who almost cowered at our feet,” he tilted his head up a fraction, making you wonder if he was looking down at you- in every sense possible. “I like you better this way, but now I know what to do if you become too much-”

“You would not-”

Seonghwa paused- you sounded like a wounded animal but there was a hint of threat in there which made him intrigued despite himself. Somehow, he could relate to you in that moment, share the sense of once being trapped by your own people even though a lifetime had passed for him. 

“I would not,” he assured you, this time without a smile. “Join us for breakfast?”

You exhaled somewhat in relief and followed him downstairs, surprised to see everyone on the table. You wondered if ‘breakfast’ was a regular thing here. You could not remember the last time you sat at a table to eat- you were too used to seating yourself in corners. 

And you could not move when Seonghwa pushed out a chair for you. When he cleared his throat, you finally came back to your senses and sat, studying the others. Wooyoung waved at you and Mingi seemed to be too interested in his almost finished plate.

“Help yourself,” Wooyoung pushed a plate of eggs towards you. “I’m a good cook.”

“I’m sure you are…” you felt the need to take a nibble first, see if you could detect the faint scent of lavender in it which was a key ingredient for any numbing potion- however, you knew that the White Flame could probably read your thoughts from your body language alone. He was called the ‘Seer of the Hearts’ for a reason. So you stomped on your hesitation and took a bite-

Of the most heavenly eggs you could have ever tasted.

“There’s no way you did not mix magic in that,” you muttered to yourself, mostly, but Wooyoung caught that.

“I do not mix magic with my daily routine, I’m a healer,” Wooyoung laughed. “I’m glad you think it’s good. People here don’t really appreciate good food and the effort behind it, you know?”

You glanced at Mingi who sported a faint smile. “Tastes normal enough to me.”

You knew they were teasing each other- bickering back and forth so naturally in an argument about who was the best cook in the house. You couldn’t help but wonder if that is how they usually were, and Mingi-

He sounded like the same person you had met in the woods. Not the one who talked to you last night. No hint of that cockiness nor a sharp glint in the eyes. He sounded warm.

“Well,” Mingi, who had just finished eating, spoke out loud, seemingly addressing you and you straightened, breaking out of your trance. “Have you decided if you want to stay?”

“So the decision is in my hands?” You asked with a raise of brow, not able to hold yourself back. Seonghwa looked at you in warning but you ignored that. “I thought you decided for me last night.”

And then something flashed in his eyes making you wonder if you were imagining it. “Sorry if it seemed that way.”

Again, you were confused. “I think I’ll stay after all, and see what exactly are those shadows that I should fear.”

That made Mingi drop his fists on the table as he almost glared at you.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mingi-”

“No,” Mingi interrupted Wooyoung. “If she’s staying, she should know who I am. She should know to stay away from me- and she shouldn’t be here for much longer. There’s only so much I can do about this.”

You wiped your hands as you processed what he said- you had asked him who he was last night.

“Take it slow,” Seonghwa reminded him softly. “We do not make our guests feel unwelcome, Mingi, you know that.” 

Mingi slumped back in his seat then, muttering an apology and you did the same, making the High Healer stifle his smile. “Kids, both of you. You should know that Mingi is publicly called ‘The Child of Shadows’ though, before you decide to stay. We don’t want you to think that we tricked you into staying or something.”

Seonghwa groaned loudly but you couldn’t hear that, because-

The Child of Shadows. 

You had heard enough tales about him. The mage who could make you think you were blind in broad daylight. The mage who drove the best insane, the one who made you face years worth of nightmares in a second. The Cursed, the Prophesied, they also called him, though you had heard quite a bit of variations of that one. Cursed why? Prophesied to do what? The question remained even after centuries-

Centuries over you, these three mages had. You had never felt smaller in your life before, so insignificant, so-

When Seonghwa called your name, that’s when you broke out of your trance. You found yourself out of breath and locked eyes with Mingi again. 

I’m the shadows that you fear, little bird. And you should fly away when you still have the chance.

His words from last night rang in your head and you sighed internally. It was a miracle you were alive right now, but then you supposed if you didn’t encounter them, you would have been dead anyway. So you cleared your throat, reeling yourself back in. “I’m here.”

“I understand that you are scared,” Seonghwa smiled. “He doesn’t have the best reputation, does he?”

“None of you have, except The High Healer,” you looked at Wooyoung who smiled proudly. “I just don’t know what to believe. I know your magic is keeping me calm- part of it anyway,” you admitted to Seonghwa who seemed genuinely surprised that you knew. “But I don’t know what to expect.”

Seonghwa looked at Mingi who kept his face void of any emotions. “The Child of Shadows… There's a very simple reason he is called that. And he’s not as bad as they made him to be- I can vouch for that.”

“I’d like to believe that,” you almost whispered and Mingi met your eyes, something like understanding passing between you two- you had no idea what exactly you understood of Mingi now, but somehow, you weren’t sour about the events of last night anymore. “Mages must struggle with their own magic too, as humans struggle with… being human.”

Seonghwa smiled knowingly at Mingi who awkwardly stood up, glancing at the three of you. “I have some business in town so if you need something, let me know now. I’ll be back in the evening and then we will move.”

“Move where?” You asked.

“We’re travellers,” Wooyoung sighed dramatically. “We don’t have a place we can call home.”

“But what about this… mansion?” You asked, making the three chuckle. 

You were in for a surprise. In the evening, after you spent the rest of the day lurking around and watching Seonghwa prepare food and Wooyoung experiment with his potions, Mingi arrived, seeming out of breath, hair all messy as if he had been on the run. Your suspicions were confirmed when he talked with Seonghwa in hushed voices and the two went outside. You glanced at Wooyoung who was observing you already.

“It’s normal. No one really likes them. Me, though? I’m the only reason we get to stay in one place for a while.”

You reckoned it was true- the High Healer was a mage that every human wanted to meet at least once in their lifetime- and not because he was a ‘healer’. His wisdom was for the books, though you had to say you never imagined the High Healer was this cheeky personally. You wondered if he was like this with everyone.

“You still haven’t told me how we’re gonna travel. Don’t you need to pack or something?”

Wooyoung smirked yet again, like he had been doing ever since the morning whenever you inquired about their means or mode of travel. You passed him an annoyed look and the doors burst open, the two looking as calm as they could.

“Fuel the engines, Wooyoung,” Seonghwa ordered. “I’m going to the roof- Mingi will wait until it’s time.”

“Fuel what engines?” Your voice shook and you went for the window to get a look outside, not finding any sort of a transport, much less one with an engine. You turned to see Wooyoung at the fireplace with one hand in the fire and you had to swallow an instinctive scream. Seonghwa had disappeared and you felt a tap on your arm.

“You might want to take a seat,” Mingi motioned to the table. “First time can be scary.”

“I don’t understand,” you confessed. 

“You’ll see,” he placed a hand on your back, urging you to do as he said. Unconvinced, you sat down and braced yourself for the biggest surprise of your life- 

It started with Wooyoung shouting okay and Seonghwa responding. When the utensils on the table started shaking a bit, you wondered if there was an earthquake and almost screamed when you felt the floor rock. You could practically feel the foundations of the house shaking as it rose, finally earning a scream from you which went unnoticed. You spotted Wooyoung who looked amused and you finally got it then.

This house moves.

You had never heard of such a thing in your life. Not even in the stories. Your horror turned into something like surprise and perhaps a little bit of glee as you walked cautiously towards Wooyoung, holding on to whatever was near for support and when he extended his hand, you took it.

“I could have had a heart attack, Wooyoung,” you finally laughed, more in disbelief.

“And that’s why they have a healer here,” his eyes twinkled with amusement and you found him scanning your face. You realised it was your first time laughing in years and your smile fell but you let a hint of it remain. 

“How do you do it?”

Wooyoung explained the mechanics- it was basically running due to Seonghwa. They had figured this mechanism out a few decades ago- Wooyoung, who had a fire affinity, would fuel the house through the fireplace. The house had a soul at this point which was thanks to Seonghwa, and he admitted even he did not know how Seonghwa did it. You realised why he adored this house then, despite its tattered form- and perhaps, it was tattered due to all the travelling they did.

You also learned that without Mingi’s magic the house could not move. The shadows materialised and binded the house in places you could not see and they also worked as tyres. Wooyoung showed you how it looked through the window and you were amazed. You spotted Seonghwa dangling from the edge of the roof, moving his limbs as if he himself was driving the house but when he looked down and waved, you figured it must be for the initial kick. 

“So where’s Mingi?” You finally asked, unable to hold back your curiosity.

“Outside the space in his room, maybe,” Wooyoung considered for a second. “You can go and see him if you like. You don’t have to be scared of him.”

You pursed your lips and when you started to inch away, Wooyoung smiled, motioning at you to go ahead. You started climbing the stairs, heart filled with profound feelings of appreciation for the structure that was doing its best to simply remain and not fall apart. A house built on magic and friendship- on love. You could appreciate that, because you knew that no matter how pretty or magnificent a house could look, it could still be the ugliest place to live in and feel like a prison.

You didn’t knock on his door since it was wide open and you could spot him standing outside with his hands extended towards the front, shadows surrounding him- black, inky fog. You figured he would detect your presence anyway so you just watched, not once feeling fear- strange since the townspeople cried when they heard his name-

Why? What had he done to earn that reputation? You did not understand how the Child of Shadows you knew from the rumours and stories from people around you was the same person who had the warmest gaze at times, who looked almost scared at times- especially when he had come back today.

However, it was not the warm gaze that greeted you when he turned his neck back to look at you. It was the same glowing eyes from last night- the ones that looked like silver stars dipped in shadows. And when his lips curved not in a smile but a smirk, you knew that he was not the same person you had breakfast with today.

Swallowing, you stepped forward as if possessed by those very shadows, as if they were moving your feet in the first place. You stopped by the window- the entrance to the little space outside, when he finally spoke.

“You stayed, little bird.”

You didn’t answer but stood beside him and watched how the magic worked. When you finally spoke, it was to say, “You’re not Mingi.”

“That’s the quickest a stranger has guessed, and the calmest they have been,” it smiled- this time, it was void of taunt. “What made you stay when I warned you of the consequences?”

“Exactly that,” you admitted, peeking up at it, liking how focused it looked. “I’ll die anyway.” 

Mingi- or whoever was in that body, shrugged, so you asked it. “What are you?”

“Humans called me a demon before I possessed this body, so maybe I am a demon.”

You considered that- was that why Mingi was called the Child of Shadows? A shadow demon of sorts? 

“Well, what’s your name then?”

It paused, the outstretched arms falling back as it turned to look at you and consider your question- in all of its time as a demon in a human vessel, no one had ever bothered to ask its name. Such a simple, human question yet it felt something bubbling in its throat- perhaps those human emotions it despised. Perhaps it was Mingi fighting back for conscious control. Whatever it was… the demon found it so strange that someone was not immediately quivering and kneeling despite the visible shadows around it, despite the knowledge that it was a demon as old as time, perhaps. 

As if someone was looking at the demon itself for the first time- not Mingi’s eyes, but its own eyes.

“I might have forgotten my name,” it admitted. “I haven’t been called by my name in aeons.”

Aeons. Your heart sank and the demon felt that, but did not comment. 

“What do they call you then? They must refer to you by some name, right?”

“They just call me Erebos.”

“So you won’t tell me what your name is?”

Again. The demon found itself looking at you and for the first time in a while, a genuine chuckle escaped it. You, amused, turned to look at the stretch of the night sky, not wanting it to feel satisfaction- if it could feel anything in the first place.

“You’re funny, little bird. I quite like you already.”

You shrugged. “I bet you say that to every human who talks to you. A demon starved of company.”

This time, it roared in laughter and you couldn’t help but compare it to the sound of Mingi’s own laughter you had heard in the morning. Somehow, this one sounded more human than Mingi’s own laugh. “Feisty. You’re not like this when you’re talking to Mingi. You sounded like you hated him.”

“It’s not him I hate, he saved me. He was the one who saved me, right?” You asked and it nodded. “It’s you who confused me. I didn’t know you were… two separate people. How does that even work? Where is Mingi now?”

“So many questions,” it tsk-ed. “Mingi saved you. It was me last night. Mingi during the day, and me right now. Since we have to live in one body, we might as well get along and divide our hours, was the White Flame’s genius plan.”

“And is… is Mingi here right now?” You looked at him.

“Over the years, we’ve started sharing our consciousness. We might not always be able to control it, but we can see, hear and feel what the other does.”

Oh. So Mingi was there last night too. And he was probably here, watching you interact with the demon who had possessed his body. 

“Why did you possess him?”

The demon’s smile fell right as it heard the question and it almost glared at you. You understood why but you refused to cower under its scrutinising gaze. “That is not something you ask a demon, little bird.”

If you had any more questions, they were lost with the shadows now. Its gaze was hard and unwelcoming and you thought you might have made a mistake. You didn’t leave, though. Somehow, these shadows were still comforting enough.

—-----------------------

You may have given Erebos some company last night, but Mingi was hell-bent on pretending you did not exist. You supposed it was awkward for him too- to watch from afar, someone inside him taking control of his thoughts and actions. You were not sure what to make of it- did he not want you talking to Erebos at all? Even Seonghwa, who had warned you to stay in your room at nights, didn’t say much when he spotted you and the demon sharing silence.

Somehow, that seemed to weigh on your mind more than the fact that you were not in your town anymore. You had travelled all through the night and stopped at the vast expanse of field that bordered the river in the neighbouring town. Most of the day was spent sleeping and you finally woke up around sunset when you heard the faint tinkling of utensils in the kitchen. After washing up, you peeked through your door and spotted Seonghwa who seemed to sense you, turning around with a smile.

“Breakfast- or I suppose, dinner is ready,” he tasted one of the dishes and nodded to himself in satisfaction. You joined him near the counter and fiddled with the ends of your plain emerald dress that had ‘magically’ appeared in your wardrobe after Mingi went to town yesterday. 

“The others?” You asked.

“Wooyoung’s out cold, Mingi is outside inspecting our new location,” he told you. “I hope we get to stay here longer this time. It’s beautiful here.”

“Really?” The sound of creaks filled the room as you walked towards the window and you audibly gasped as you took in the pink and golden hues reflecting on the crystal clear river with hills across it, the fluffiest clouds in the sky and the grass a beautiful, darker shade of green than you had seen in the forest. 

You also spotted Mingi, standing at the back of the river and staring into the distance. With a nod from Seonghwa who muttered something about him waking Wooyoung up, you stepped outside and inhaled the scent of wet mud which calmed your otherwise raging nerves. You cautiously walked towards the looming figure and cleared your throat, making him glance back at you.

“Uh, dinner is ready,” you said, hating the way you sounded. You scanned his eyes and confirmed it was Mingi. 

Even though he didn’t answer, you remained standing a few feet behind him, drowning in questions that you wished to ask but didn’t have the guts to- why was talking to the demon somehow easier than talking to the human? Before you could open your mouth to ask something that was already at the tip of your tongue, Seonghwa shouted for you two to get inside and you clicked your tongue in annoyance, not waiting for him this time as you returned to the house. 

The silence that hung uncomfortably during dinner almost made you choke. You saw Seonghwa cautiously glance between you and Mingi multiple times, and if Wooyoung had not been so sleepy, he might have dared to comment on it. As soon as Mingi finished eating, he dropped his plates in the sink and said something about going into his room. When he disappeared, it felt like you could finally breathe.

“Is Mingi avoiding me?” You asked, worried you were disturbing the peace in this house- you had heard him laugh with the other two when you were not present and it hurt you that he was shutting you out more as time passed. “Is it because of something I did?”

“It’s just because he doesn’t like anyone interacting with Erebos,” Wooyoung answered. “It took us a lot of time to find the balance between our interactions with Erebos and Mingi too.”

“Well,” you pouted. “He should have warned me himself then, shouldn’t he?”

The two shrugged, perhaps used to these mood swings. You pouted further. “He shouldn’t have saved me in the forest and asked me to accompany him then.”

“You should say that to Mingi,” Wooyoung was stifling a smirk. “See how he answers that.”

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa warned, turning to you. “Mingi helps anyone who needs it. We help anyone who needs it, because we all know what it is like to feel trapped and helpless. Mingi knows that better than any of us, so do not question him on that. Just… give him some time. He’ll warm up to you.”

You sighed deeply, understanding. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa smiled. “You’ll be fine.”

You did not go to find Erebos that night, waiting instead for Mingi the next morning at the same spot he had been in yesterday, at the bank of the river. And surprisingly, it was him who joined you with a book this time.

“Are you feeling well?” He inquired and you tried not to let the surprise show on your face. 

“I am, thank you for asking,” you tucked the hair that blew with the breeze back in the clip. “Are you okay?”

“Why would I not be okay?” He glanced at you.

“Are we okay?” You rephrased it and he sighed.

“I’m sorry if I was being an ass. You’ve… met Erebos, right?” You nodded and he continued. “Over time, I’ve learned to cohabitate with the demon in my body. It wasn’t always so manageable but it’s unusual for a human body to contain a demon within it for such a long period of time.”

Human body. Mingi was once human.

“Do you wish to be free?”

Mingi smiled at that. “I was anything but free when I was human. Ironically, the demon possessing me gave me more freedom than I ever had. I guess that is why we can tolerate each other now.”

“Why did you say you want me to stay away from you then?” You asked, curiosity taking the better of you.

Mingi’s smile seemed to be painful. “Why would you not stay away from a demon, y/n?”

“But you’re human… aren’t you? Or a mage now,” you wondered out loud. “Should I stay away from you too?”

Mingi didn’t answer that. He opened his book and scrolled through a few pages, buying time to think. You kept watching him- it felt like he was finally opening up to you, still so cautious and hesitant. “I don’t know.”

Despite the impending sense of danger, you found your frown relaxing and lips curving into a smile and when Mingi saw you, he smiled back.

Perhaps, this was the first step the two of you took together. 

“I’d say we should stay away from you,” Mingi found himself saying with a teasing tone. “You humans are always so reckless. And that smile is unnerving.”

Your smile widened. “You don’t get human company often, do you?”

Mingi’s smile fell again and you decided it wasn’t a topic they wanted to talk about- neither of them. You cleared your throat. “Thank you for saving me that day. I don’t think I got the chance to thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head, looking back at his book. “I felt your senses numbed because of the potions. I couldn’t simply leave you be.”

“Thank you for today too,” you almost whispered.

“Today?”

“For finally talking to me- I thought you were cross with me,” you explained. 

“I still am, a little, just not with you,” he admitted, sighing deeply. “I don’t like the way Erebos talks to you, if I’m honest. It’s new.”

You pursed your lips- that explained his behaviour and the way he avoided you. He continued, “I won’t stop you from interacting with Erebos. Just be careful, okay?”

You nodded and sank your feet in the bare grass as Mingi went back to reading his book, the silence between you two comfortable for the first time.

—--------------------

You were settling into a routine in the house and it seemed like they had accepted you as a housemate.

It would have been much more difficult if it weren’t for the White Flame’s warm nature. You wondered how time hadn’t hardened him- he was more considerate than any human or mage you had ever met. You found his nature almost doting as he instructed you on the tasks you had to practically beg to share. As he taught you how to fix broken pipes or dangling planks, you shared stories of your life. He learned that you had been a servant in your own house before your stepmother resorted to imprisoning you in the tower because you tried to run away a few too many times. 

You learned that he wasn’t an angel at all- he was also a demon, though a different kind than Erebos. He resembled angels too much- both in his appearance and mannerisms and was outcasted by the demons. The angels didn’t accept him either. That’s how he earned one of his names ‘The Fallen Angel’, though he complained about the inaccuracy. You asked him if he was still calming you with his magic when you were around him, and he revealed that he had stopped doing that when you decided to stay. 

When Seonghwa was busy, you were with Wooyoung who didn’t have a fixed room for his experiments- he would drag his bag of potions anywhere he pleased and make home there, much to Seonghwa’s annoyance, though his smile would betray him. He filled any room with his presence, with his annoying but lovable loud laughter, with his stories and jokes. You finally told him that he had once come to your home and treated your father when he was suffering from the plague a few years ago, the one that took his life. He remembered that and was very surprised to learn that you were that man’s daughter.

“He told me I could trust you if the time ever came,” you had explained. “He told me to find you if things ever went south. I think he knew what was coming but couldn’t do anything about it.”

“He was a wise man,” Wooyoung had admitted. “And he couldn’t stop talking about you while I tried to heal him. You were so young, y/n. What did they do to you? You used to live like a princess.”

And that was the first time in years you shed tears for the life that was taken from you. When you cried, Seonghwa passed you a cup of tea and Wooyoung continued burning incense, muttering something about how some humans were worse than monsters. They let you cry in silence for as long as you wanted.

That night, it was Erebos who found you sitting on the roof, legs dangling. It tsk-ed as it nudged your thigh with its bare foot.

“I’m trying to attempt shadow-travel but I can’t focus because I can practically smell your tears and grief.”

“Shadow-travel?” You asked, and he scoffed at the curiosity behind your glazed eyes.

“I have some business to take care of in town, and it’s quicker to travel that way.”

“What business would you have?”

“I, too, have a life,” it slumped down next to you. “Would you like to join, little bird?”

“Can I?” You asked, wondering if Mingi would be okay with it in the morning.

“Yes, Mingi would be okay with it,” it rolled its eyes. “Can practically hear your thoughts.”

You stifled a grin, wiping your eyes. “Shall I get my cloak then?”

Erebos showed you around town- you decided to walk instead of shadow-travel- travelling that way with a human was risky business, it explained. You felt nostalgic as you walked in the lantern-lit streets, the smell of food and smoke filling you with an unexplainable glee in your heart. Erebos made you sit on one of the benches with a sandwich to keep you busy while it disappeared in the shadows. You didn’t complain- you were more than pleased to simply sit and observe the bustle. You hadn’t had such luxury in a while.

You almost didn’t notice the commotion behind you until you heard the faint sound of screams and you whipped your head towards the source, wondering where Erebos had disappeared. You decided to stick to its strict order not to move from this bench until it found you. Moments later, the demon was back, the people making way for it and you gaped at it.

“At least wipe the smug look off your face,” you muttered, making it grin. “What were you doing?”

“I don’t like unfinished business- especially when it’s people trying to start things that shouldn’t be messed with in the first place.”

You gulped at the threatening tone and it shook its head. “I can taste your fear, little bird.”

“I’m human, demon,” you taunted, making it laugh. “And I do not want to know what happened there. Just tell me if you hurt innocent people.”

“I may be a demon but I have morals too,” it tsk-ed in disappointment and you shrugged, falling in step with it as you went further away from town. “I never attack a human first.”

You asked why it needed morals when it was a demon and could do as it pleased. It told you that demons weren’t like how humans sketched them out to be in their poems and tales- they were much more than that. Despite being dark in nature, they weren’t consumed by evil just like humans weren’t all good, and angels not all that pure. Even as you reached the house, you spent the night learning about how demons were creatures with strict principles that they followed. You learnt that demons could feel emotions too, though time hardened them and morphed them, often into something unrecognisable. Erebos appreciated Seonghwa and told you how it was saved by him when it found itself in Mingi’s body, and how ever since they met Wooyoung, he was trying his best to make it easier for the two to cohabitate in one body.

And every time you interacted with the demon, just before you parted ways for the night, you would ask its name and it would look at you with unreadable eyes. You never got an answer.

Though your appreciation for Seonghwa and Wooyoung grew, you couldn’t help but appreciate Erebos too, you told it, for simply cooperating when it could have given up and taken control of Mingi long ago. It smiled and told you it wasn’t always so compliant and only settled down when it learned that it needed to find a way to leave this vessel without dying.

Mingi, you felt, was making a conscious effort to check up on you everyday- especially if you interacted with Erebos the night before. He never asked why or what you talked about, and you thought it was for the better. Since everyone else treated them as separate persons, you might as well too. 

But it was so hard to look at Mingi and not see his lips curled in a smirk- something that you had started to look forward to, an expression that once put distaste in your mouth but now made your heart skip a beat. It was hard to see his eyes and not find the twinkle of stars in his dark irises. It was hard to hear his voice and not find it almost echoing within your skull.

And tonight, as your feet padded down the stairs, wanting to get fresh air having just woken up from a nightmare that you were back in the tower, you found Mingi relaxing in the sofa seat next to the fireplace-

Not Mingi. Erebos.

“Way past your bedtime, little bird,” it said without looking at you.

“Very unlike you to just sit and stare at the fire… demon,” you countered, watching its body shake with laughter as you went to the kitchen to drink water. You joined it, sitting on the other seat with the glass half full. “No hunting humans tonight?”

“There’s you,” it commented. “I don’t even need to go to town.”

This time, your heart didn’t sink to your feet in fear but skipped a beat, drawing a frown on its face. You sipped the water, suddenly very interested in the burning fire as you recovered. 

“Someone couldn’t sleep well.”

“Right,” you sighed. “Do you need sleep?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re abusing Mingi’s body with lack of sleep.”

“He can sleep as long as he pleases when it’s his shift,” Erebos waved a hand in dismissal. “I have better things to do.”

“Definitely,” you muttered and Erebos raised a brow before leaning forward so it could meet your eyes.

“I don’t like that mocking tone, little bird.”

Though it was meant to threaten you, you rolled your eyes simply because Erebos was looking like it was enjoying this way too much. “Mean it when you say it then.”

Erebos clenched its jaws before relaxing back. “You’re not like this when you talk to Mingi or the others.”

You mirrored its posture. “You’re different.”

Perhaps, that’s not how you should have worded it. You saw Erebos’s eyes flash before you could correct yourself, its fists clenching and unclenching as if it was trying to control a response. You cleared your throat. “I mean… they don’t go around calling me ‘little bird’ and try to scare me or something. Wooyoung said it might be because you feed on fear.”

“Wooyoung was right, and I’ve been starving recently,” it licked its lips. “You’ve stopped fearing me, little bird. Not like you used to. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“That’s such a shallow way of thinking!” You couldn’t help the outburst. “When’s the last time you had a friend other than Seonghwa and Wooyoung?”

“They’re not my friends.” This time, Erebos’s voice did shake you. “They’ve been trying to get rid of me ever since they met me.”

“They’re trying to help you both,” you corrected and Erebos scoffed. “Do you like pushing people away? Do you like being alone, Erebos?”

“I’m not human enough to crave company or ‘like’ anything,” Erebos replied. “But I suppose I prefer when a certain human is not eating my ears off.”

You deadpan stared at the demon and it laughed in response. You shook your head, getting up. “Well, you can have the rest of the night with the one you love the most- your own self.”

Before you could take your third step, your wrist was grabbed and you were pulled towards a body- Mingi’s body, towards Erebos. It intertwined its hand with yours, noticing the glass still in the other hand. With a smirk, it twirled you around, earning a surprised yelp from you, leading you to the mantle of the fireplace. You placed the glass there just in time before you were pulled back.

“What are you doing?” You asked between laughs as you tried regaining your balance, your free hand instinctively going to hold Erebos’s. It scoffed in amusement, towering over you as it looked down at you. 

Erebos didn’t bother responding, simply shifting its hands in yours, watching your small hands intertwine in its large ones and you felt butterflies as you detected wonder in its eyes. The demon was then swaying you in small motions as it scanned every inch of you, practically drinking in the sight and you felt so exposed that you wished you could go back to the darkness you were so used to in the tower back home. 

“What are you doing?” You repeated, this time a whisper. Erebos met your eyes and you thought you saw its defences fall for a fraction of a second before it passed. The demon pulled you closer, just a step but enough that your bodies almost brushed.

“Why are you doing this to me, little bird?” It tilted its head.

“What did I do?” You dared to ask, feeling overwhelmed by the closeness of your bodies, by the fact that this was a demon in front of you, by the shadows that had now started to seep out of it. 

Erebos scanned you one last time. “You should go back to sleep.”

None of you made a move to let go of the other’s hands, none of you looked away from the other. Not until you saw Erebos clench its eyes shut in pain. You squeezed its hands once, softly, before drawing back. The demon opened its eyes, almost out of breath. You stepped away, turning to go but stopping midway.

You turned to look at it one last time. “What is your name… demon?”

For the first time since you were here, Erebos passed an actual smile, waving its hand in dismissal. You smiled back before going back to your room-

Unable to sleep for the remainder of the night. 

—--------------------

This time, Mingi was avoiding you on purpose. It was unsettling- you tried to strike up a conversation with him but his answers were dry and his smile didn’t meet his eyes. You ignored it until a few days passed, neither Mingi nor Erebos in your sight and when you were making your way to Mingi’s room to confront him, you noticed him in the hallway instead, bending down in the left corner and placing what looked like a scroll under the gap, sealing the plank back. You reckoned it must be something important he had to hide so you waited a few minutes until he got up.

You came into his sight and said, “You’ve been busy these days.”

“I have been,” he confirmed. For a second, you wondered if it really was just him being busy, having some ‘business’ to deal with in town, which he had explained a few days ago was attending the Conference of Mages which dealt with peace and accountability of rogue mages. But when his eyes didn’t meet yours, your suspicions were confirmed. He tried passing you but you spread your arms.

“I’m not letting you pass until you tell me why you are avoiding me- and don’t give me the same excuse.”

Mingi sighed in defeat- one thing he had learned about you was that you could be very, very stubborn. “I just needed to clear my head. We both did.”

We both.

You finally dropped your arms and followed him to the kitchen- he told you he just came home and wanted to grab something to eat. You stood awkwardly by the dainty glass decorations that Wooyoung had glued to the surface of one of the shelves so they wouldn’t fall when the house moved. You cleared your throat. “Did I do something wrong?”

Mingi didn’t like the way your voice shook when you asked that. He passed you a tight smile as he came to stand near the bookshelf, watching you. “You didn’t. It’s me this time.”

You stopped wiping, locking eyes with him. “What did you do?”

“I broke a rule- when Erebos and you were having… a moment… a few nights ago, I tried to take over. Erebos didn’t like it.”

You instantly knew what Mingi was talking about- when Erebos had clenched its eyes shut in pain. Your mouth parted and shut multiple times, trying to think of how to word your next question-

“I know,” Mingi answered anyway. “I shouldn’t have done it, but… I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the way Erebos was looking at you.”

What way was Erebos looking at you, and why did Mingi not like it? 

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” you almost whispered, drawing a step away, feeling overwhelmed by the proximity and his curious eyes on you. “I… I don’t like when you avoid me, Mingi. If my presence here is making it hard for you, I can leave-”

“Not at all,” he stepped forward as if to reach for you but stopped himself. “That’s not it.”

“I just miss you,” you exhaled in relief. “I wish you could tell me these things. I wish you would let me in, Mingi.”

Mingi looked like he was in pain and for a moment, you wondered if you had said something wrong. He finally smiled, taking another step forward and this time, you let him. You let him put his hands hesitantly on your shoulders. 

“You’re right- I should have just talked to you. Avoiding you won’t make anything right. I’m sorry.”

“I wish you would stop saying sorry too,” you smiled and he finally laughed. 

“I just am. I’ll try not to do that again, but I can’t promise. It’s hard when you’re not in control of your own actions, and if Erebos tries something with you, I don’t want you to look at me differently.”

So that’s what it was. You put your hands over his. “You’re not Erebos. Erebos is not you. I know that very well. Even though you share a body, you don’t look the same, don’t feel the same,” you said and Mingi gave your shoulders a squeeze. “We’re just y/n and Mingi right now, so talk to me, okay?”

Mingi nodded and asked if you wanted to join him for dinner- he didn’t have much time until Erebos would take over. You nodded and started setting the table, Mingi helping and he told you about the conference that took place today and how Erebos was also a part of it, helping eliminate threats to both humans and mages. You told him you learned to make bread pudding with Seonghwa and waited for him to try it, grinning when he told you it was better than Seonghwa’s. 

It was so easy to talk to Mingi like this- an exchange of how your day went, sharing bits and pieces of your past sometimes, joking with each other- Mingi wasn’t very shy when talking which helped a lot. He enjoyed chatting with everyone but sometimes, you wondered if he was reminded of something from his past when he would zone out or his smile would fade. Just like now.

“Are you with me?” You asked cautiously, wondering if you were going to see the shift. 

“I’m here,” Mingi blinked, shaking his head. “Just got lost for a second.”

“Is my company that boring to you?” You pouted.

“It’s not that,” he shook his head. “It’s just been a while since I’ve had such mundane interactions.”

“Does it remind you of the time when you were human?” You dared to ask. He didn’t mind, thankfully.

“Not really, but… we’ve had a few human guests over the time. Some stayed until their end. Some left because they saw what living here would mean for them. Now that we have you in our house, we enjoy the company. We’re a bit bored of each other, the rest of us, so we really don’t mind you. It’s just sad to think how it will come to an end one day.”

“You’re worrying about the future when you haven’t even tried living in the present… aren’t you?”

“It’s you humans who think living in the present is the right way. You understand later that every decision you make in the present influences the future. And when something bad happens, you start tracing it back to the moment it started going wrong. It’s too late then.”

“Then there’s no way of knowing if the decisions I make will be good for me. Does it really matter if they are good for me?” You paused, thinking about Erebos all of a sudden. Thinking about the way your skin ignited with pleasure for the first time and how you longed to feel that way again. “Sometimes you just can’t help yourself, can you?”

“You don’t mean that,” Mingi almost whispered, his raspy voice making you shiver involuntarily. You wondered if he had read your mind.

“Do you feel what Erebos does too?” You asked, leaning forward as well. “Where do your feelings differentiate?”

“Erebos is a demon, it doesn’t feel-”

“You’re wrong,” you shook your head. “You can’t tell me that when you haven’t seen the way its eyes changed that night.”

“Y/n-” Mingi warned, the left side of his face twitching. “I know I said I don’t mind you talking to Erebos, but it is a demon. It will take advantage of you at some point- that is its nature.”

“I can take care of myself,” you drew back and watched Mingi sigh in frustration. “You should understand that Erebos hasn’t done anything that I didn’t like.”

You let that confession hang in the air and Mingi tried processing it but he was so confused. Just why were you so fearless, so stubborn, especially about this? It’s almost like-

Like you had no reason to be afraid of.

Mingi got up abruptly, almost giving you a jumpscare. He looked at you, feeling out of breath. “You’re on your own then. But please be careful.”

You made a mental note to ask Erebos just what he had done to their human guests in the past as you watched Mingi disappear into his room. You didn’t want to see Erebos tonight, though. If the demon could give you this cold treatment, you could return that too. Even if for one night.

—------------------

“There’s something wrong with her.”

“Are you sure she’s not simply sulking?” Wooyoung glanced at Seonghwa who shook his head in denial. 

“She’s never been this quiet since she came. She’s like you- always babbling-”

“I can hear you,” you called out, not bothering to look at the duo, instead continuing to stare into the fire with an unfinished black crochet scarf in your hands. 

“Why are you so quiet today? Is it because I scolded you when you forgot to turn the oven off?” Seonghwa asked.

You finally looked at the Fallen Angel who thought you were worried because you left the burner on. He scoffed at your amused expressions. “That’s not it.”

“Let her be, everyone needs some peace and quiet sometimes,” Wooyoung waved a hand in dismissal, going back to messing with his potions. “I need some peace and quiet today too.”

“Right,” Seonghwa muttered. “If you make it past half an hour without speaking a word, I’ll let you use me as your lab rat for your next experiment.”

You gasped at his offer because you had seen Wooyoung dissect dead animals and it was not a pretty sight. Wooyoung’s eyes, however, glinted as he accepted the challenge. You sighed, going back to staring at the fire.

You kept thinking about every interaction you had had with Mingi and Erebos so far. Even though you knew they were two separate entities, you were worried you weren’t making the distinction clear- when you were angry with Erebos, Mingi got to deal with the aftermath and vice versa. 

Mingi was still the same old person he was from the first day he met you. You would join him with a book by the river when he wasn’t out or you would exchange stories at the table. He stopped asking you about Erebos- you figured you had struck the right chord that day. Instead, he now answered your silly but curious questions about magic, about their travels and adventures. He would ask if you had a good sleep or if you learned anything new from the boys who were teaching you anything you were willing to learn. It was comfortable to talk to Mingi now and you had started looking forward to your interactions with him.

Erebos, however, was not the same person you had encountered on your first night here, the one who was so unwilling to look at you and wanted you to run away. If you could look at it from an objective lens, you were pretty sure Erebos was warming up to you. You had a habit of sleeping very late at night so you spent most nights hanging out with the demon- sometimes inside as you both fought your own battles in silence, occasionally exchanging words. Or sometimes, you would lie down with him on the grass and stare at the sky until you fell asleep and later wake up in your bed.

And when you had a moment with one of them, one that made you feel unexplainable things, one that made you shiver or made your heart flutter, you found yourself expecting it to be the same with the other. It wasn’t fair, but you couldn’t help it. 

You kept mindlessly crocheting or resorting to staring into the fire even when Wooyoung finally gave up staying silent and Seonghwa and him started to argue like children. Mingi came and joined the ruckus and you only passed a small smile, busying yourself. The day passed just like that and at some point, you must have fallen asleep on the sofa because when you woke up, Erebos was seated right in front of you, watching you with curious eyes.

You blinked away the sleep, suddenly feeling conscious of the way the neckline of your dress exposed your left shoulder more than intended. You straightened your dress and watched Erebos relax back.

“How long have you been sitting and staring?”

“Not long,” it replied. You were pretty sure that was a lie. 

“Not going to the conference tonight?” You inquired.

“I got a message- it has been delayed,” Erebos licked its lips slowly. “Why were you sleeping here?”

“I was…” waiting to see you- “crocheting…”

“I don’t see any evidence of that.”

You looked down in your lap and laughed a little- it must have been Wooyoung or Seonghwa who placed the material away and put a blanket on you. You pursed your lips. “You’re talkative tonight.”

“I bet you like that,” Erebos cocked its head.

“See?” You managed to say despite the fluttering of your stomach. “Very talkative. Go scare a human in town or something…”

Erebos let out a deep laugh and you joined, shaking your head. You stretched, spotting the new moon outside. “The sky is lovely tonight.”

“Do you want to climb the hill you’ve been watching every day since you came here? Might give you a better view.”

An offer. You smiled and nodded, getting up and drinking a glass of water before joining the demon outside. The hill was across the river and you wondered if you were going to make a round trip, but-

“We’re going through the river. I’ll make a boat for you.”

“There’s no way I’m going through the river,” you halted, Erebos laughing yet again. “I’ll drown!”

“Just like this house moves on tyres made of shadow, I can materialise a boat for us to travel in. It will be safe-”

“No-”

“And I will be right next to you,” the demon completed and you pressed your lips in a tight line. “You won’t drown.”

You didn’t answer, looking at the awfully still surface of the river. Erebos stood next to you and you felt your fingers brush its own.

“I won’t let you drown. Do you trust me, little bird?”

Did you trust the demon with your life? You could practically hear the sound of your own heart as you nudged its fingers with yours. A leap of faith. You watched Erebos’s lips curl into a smile and it spread his hands forward, shadow seeping out of the body until a black boat stood in the river. Erebos stepped inside first and even though you had seen the shadow tyres support the weight of this house, you still gasped in surprise. 

The demon extended its hand for you. You didn’t hesitate to take it this time and it helped you settle in the boat but you refused to let its hand go and it made it chuckle. With its other hand, it steered the boat swiftly towards the other end and you laughed in both surprise and fear, water droplets spraying your face when you peeked out of the boat though you didn’t mind one bit- it was so thrilling. More thrilling than anything you had ever experienced in your lifetime.

And when you looked at Erebos with the biggest smile on your face, the demon felt its heart ache and it wondered if it was because of Mingi even though it had pushed Mingi far, far away into its subconscious. You felt its hands grip yours tighter as if squeezing it and you didn’t look away from its face until you reached.

The climb up the hill was just as silent, none of you letting go of the other’s hand. You let it be- it certainly helped you move faster as Erebos instructed you where to step and where not to. When you reached the peak and you were out of breath, Erebos helped you settle on a rock, finally leaving your hand only to shake its head and dig out a handkerchief from its pocket.

“Look at you, all spent just because you climbed a few rocks,” it tsk-ed and you pouted. Shaking its head again, it started wiping the sweat off your forehead, grinning to itself at the state of your hair blown back. Putting its handkerchief away, the demon pushed your hair away from your face, caressing your head with a faint smile-

And finally noticing the look on your face. The wide, curious eyes, the hesitant look in them, the parted lips. The uneven breaths. 

You watched its eyes flash with something indecipherable yet again as it scanned your face, noticing its thumb almost at the corner of your lips. You watched its brows furrow as a flurry of emotions crossed its face- emotions you had never seen on anyone’s face before. You couldn’t hear the sound of cicadas or the wind anymore, only the rustling of your hair as its hand moved away from your face only to slide its thumb across your lower lip.

Even if Erebos didn’t watch your eyes to confirm, it could feel your heart beating as if it was an extension of its own pulse, taste the excitement mixed with a little bit of fear in the air. And locking eyes with you only made the demon more confused- you looked so vulnerable in that moment that its primal instincts shouted at it to shatter you, but it pushed them away. It pushed everything away and drew its hand back, about to move away but-

But you grabbed its hand in yours. You did not know what took over you in that moment, but you placed its thumb back where it was- between your parted lips. 

And then you kissed it softly.

You heard the demon stifle a cry- of pain? Of surprise? You did not care. You locked eyes with the figure towering over you, ready to meet your fate.

And when the demon cupped your face with a hesitancy that almost broke you, you licked your lips, so eager to meet its own. When it inched closer, you let your hands grip its wrists, and when your nose brushed with its own sharp nose, you let out a small exhale. You were both at a loss of words at that moment, so you only arched your neck up to let it know you needed this, perhaps as much as the demon itself.

A demon starved of love, starved of affection. That’s what Erebos was. And when it pushed every thought away and brushed its lips across yours, it finally understood that it never craved fear-

It craved this. 

Parting its own lips, it kissed you, for the first time in its life- it did not count the times Mingi had kissed his past lovers because Erebos thought it was disgusting and hid itself so far away in Mingi’s subconscious that it didn’t even remember what happened later. This was the first time the demon itself was in charge, and it had no idea what to do but found itself locking and unlocking its lips with yours, its hand automatically going to grip your neck. It swallowed your moan of pleasure, kissing you deeper and deeper until you almost slipped from the rock and your hands went around its neck for support, breaking apart from the kiss-

And looking at the demon, its eyes wide and perhaps as vulnerable as yours.

Erebos picked you up effortlessly, making you yelp in surprise and wrap your legs around its waist- perhaps, a wrong move because there was an unquestionable fire in its eyes. It led you to another rock and placed you on it so that your heights matched, out of breath- you wondered how a demon was out of breath now. You didn’t unwrap your legs, not quite, and you didn’t need to because it gripped your hip with one hand and brought you closer, craning your neck with the other and going back to kissing you, deeper and more desperate this time. You kissed back with equal urgency, welcoming its tongue in yours, feeling its hand creep up inside your dress and you finally drew back-

“Erebos-”

It swallowed your name back in another kiss and for a moment, you saw stars. This couldn’t be how it felt kissing a human, you wondered. Was it because Erebos was a demon? It couldn’t be like this, setting you on fire wherever its hands traced your skin and nails dug in, making you buzz with excitement and want-

“Erebos, please,” you broke away, pushing the blue and black strand of its hair back. “Look at me.”

Erebos locked its eyes with you and you felt your heart sink when you saw nothing but darkness in its eyes. It inched closer, kissing your jaw and sucking and nibbling on your neck almost harshly, and you stifled your moans-

“Not like this, Erebos,” you pleaded, cupping its face again and making it lock eyes with you. “Where are the stars in your eyes, demon?”

That seemed to click something in its minds as the pupils lightened and the twinkle of its eyes returned. It took deep, uneven breaths, caressing your face with both hands. 

“I- I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay,” you assured the demon, though you had no idea either. “It’s okay-”

“Did I hurt you?” Erebos voice sounded so fragile that you felt the sting of tears in your eyes- this was the demon they warned you to stay away from? You watched its eyes darken when it inspected a bruise forming on your neck. “...I hurt you.”

“No, no you didn’t, look at me,” you scolded, pecking its lips again. “You didn’t hurt me. You just… I don’t know. Where did you go?”

Erebos looked so confused. You buried your face in its neck as you brought its body closer to you. “Thank you for bringing me here tonight.”

The demon caressed your head as it clenched its eyes shut again, in pain- Mingi was doing it again, trying to take over. Erebos supposed he had every right to now. However, it would not let Mingi take this moment from it, not again. So with all its willpower, Erebos pushed Mingi away and kissed the top of your head.

“Little bird,” it whispered. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

—---------------------

What had you gotten yourself into? 

It was your turn to avoid Mingi this time, simply because you couldn’t face him. Not when you did what you did last night and Mingi shared the same body as Erebos. 

What were you thinking?

You were mortified, yes, but you also did not regret one bit of it, if you were honest with yourself. Mingi could be angry with you all he wanted.

You might have regretted it- Erebos was a demon. You still didn’t understand why its eyes went so dark as if the demon lost itself for a moment, but when you called its name and it came back, when it asked if you were hurt as if it pained the demon itself… 

You simply couldn’t imagine why Erebos looked at you with such worried eyes. Why would a demon care if it hurt you or not, unless it actually cared?

And if it actually cared… What did it mean for you?

“Little bird, what have you gotten yourself into?”

You refused to leave your room even after you woke up, even when your stomach grumbled with hunger. Even Seonghwa got worried and checked in on you with a tray of food, understanding something must have happened between you and Mingi- or Erebos. Thankfully, he didn’t insist you join them. He let you have your space and you were grateful for that. 

That night, Erebos didn’t come to look for you either. You remained cooped up in your room, obsessively cleaning it to make up for the guilt of slacking on your other duties and sometimes peeking out of the window- neither Mingi nor Erebos seemed to have gone out today. 

The next day, Seonghwa had had enough of your moping and came into your room, clicking a wooden spoon on a metal dish as morning bells to wake you up. You groaned and hid your face in the pillow but Seonghwa made the pillow burst into feathers with his magic, making you almost cry.

“I only tolerate moping for one day, y/n,” he told you as if it was a rule you had to abide by to live in this house. “Get up. Fix any broken planks- the wind last night was strong- and then join me on the roof for cleaning.”

“Why won’t you use your magic to clean?” You sighed and he ignored that, going in the next room to wake Wooyoung up- you could hear him yelling in response. Smiling at that, you finally got up and stumbled towards the bathroom, nearly forgetting Mingi lived in this very house until you bumped into a body in the hallway and muttered apologies-

Only to look up and see Mingi.

“Uh, I was just,” you pointed to the bathroom and he scanned your face, making you gulp. He muttered a sorry before letting you walk past him and when you entered the bathroom, you shut the door and nearly sank down the door.

How were you going to face him?

You were very distracted as you fixed the planks dangling by the window in the hallway, almost nailing your finger a couple of times. When you were done, you were about to head to the roof when you almost tripped on your feet-

You looked down and spotted a plank a little lifted in the air that had caused you to almost fall face-first. You were about to nail it when you recalled that this was the spot Mingi had hid something that day- you should probably not nail it.

Curiosity took the better of you and you moved the plank- there was indeed a scroll inside. Looking around, you hesitated a bit before you took out the scroll and unrolled it, a few verses of what looked like a poem on it-

“Once the shadow, once the light 

As one, the two must thrive  

A curse both must fight 

To one’s end, they dive 

For love, with all their might 

Hearts awakened, live alive”

You figured it might be Mingi’s sad attempt at poetry and put the scroll back where it was, fixing the plank better- if he had to hide it, he could at least hide it properly. 

Thankfully, he was not on roof cleaning duty with you and when you went to join Seonghwa there after a light breakfast, he passed you a sceptical look before handing you the mop.

“What’s up with you these days?” 

You wondered how to answer that. Seonghwa tsk-ed at you. “Why are you avoiding Mingi?”

“Erebos,” you gave in and Seonghwa raised a brow. “Because of Erebos. Because…” you groaned in frustration. “I don’t know. I might have done something stupid. I don’t know how to face Mingi.”

“Just talk to him,” he told you, attacking a corner on the floor with a mop and you suppressed a giggle at his dedication. “Avoiding each other won’t do either of you any good. It might calm Erebos down too.”

“Why? What happened to Erebos?”

“I think it’s angry with Mingi for trying to take control of him again,” Seonghwa revealed and you wondered if that happened while you were on the hill two nights ago. “The last time this happened, the conflict grew until Erebos took full control of Mingi and didn’t let him back in for a while. So my advice is, just talk and smother their conflict if you’re involved.”

You bit your lips- you were messing things up. You didn’t mean for it to happen this way, and you needed to confront Mingi now. 

So after you were done for the day, when there were a few hours left until sunset, you knocked on Mingi’s door. When he opened the door and looked surprised, you half expected him to slam the door in your face but he simply passed a smile.

“What brings you here?”

He noticed the flush on your cheeks. He didn’t need your answer, he knew why you were here. So before you could say something, he opened the door wider and let you in. 

You had been in his room maybe twice before, but you still enjoyed looking around at the desk next to the window with a lamp and notes sprawled across its surface, the blue and grey curtains and pillows- had he matched on purpose? The paintings of shadows on his wall that must have been Erebos’s doing. You sat at the edge of the bed and he took the seat near you.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“I am,” his voice was low. “Are you?”

“I think, yes,” you wanted to meet his eyes but couldn’t look at him. “I wanted to talk to you about… two nights ago.” Mingi shifted uncomfortably at the mention and you licked your suddenly dry lips as you finally locked eyes with him. “Are you angry with me?”

“Why would I be angry with you?” Mingi’s voice was almost a whisper and it only confused you further.

“I… I don’t know what you’re thinking, Mingi,” you sighed. “I expected you to come bursting through my room and yell at me, warn me to be careful or something, but you… both of you- why are you giving me space now?”

Mingi took a deep breath. “I do want to ask you why you kissed Erebos. But… it’s not my place to ask, is it?”

“I mean…” your cheeks were flushing. “You do share a body, unfortunately. Maybe you do have a right to ask.”

Mingi took another deep breath. “I’ve lived a long life, y/n. I’ve had lovers in the past too. At first, navigating my relationships was awkward- especially when Erebos and I didn’t have better control of ourselves. And Erebos drove away anyone I got close to- more often unintentionally. No one likes demons- but you,” he cocked his head. “You’re different when you’re with Erebos. You’re not like that with me.”

“Do you wish I was?”

“And you ask the most unexpected questions,” he smiled in defeat. “So tell me, why did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, finally feeling a bit relaxed now that he had broken the ice. A part of you wished you and Mingi could talk about it as if Erebos was a separate, independent entity. “I like Erebos. The demon… is not all that bad. And I might have regretted it but… sometimes I feel like it has a heart too, you know? The way it talks or looks at certain things…”

“Erebos does not have a heart,” Mingi reminded you softly, leaning forward. “And I’m scared the demon might take advantage of you.”

“I understand your worries, Mingi,” you nodded. “But really, I think I know what I’m doing. I just want to know if you’re okay with that. I will take a step back but I won’t stop spending time with Erebos.”

“I’m not okay with that,” Mingi said after a moment and you frowned in confusion. “I… I don’t want you to get hurt. If Erebos does something… I fear you’ll look at me with hatred and disgust in your eyes.”

“Oh, Mingi,” you got up- he was genuinely worried about you. How stupid had you been to dismiss that? “I would never…”

“That’s the thing, y/n,” he shook his head with a sad smile. “I’ve always had to deal with the aftermath of things I didn’t do. I’m afraid it will happen again.”

“What did Erebos do?” You asked, walking cautiously towards him and he looked up at you with guarded eyes. “I’m sorry for your pain.”

“It’s okay,” he looked down. “I haven’t been all that good either. I’m no better than a demon myself-”

“You’re wrong,” you brought shaking hands to hold his face and make him look at you. “You’re one of the kindest souls I’ve met, Mingi. You saved me and I am forever in your debt-”

“There’s no debt-”

“No, listen,” your brows furrowed in focus as you locked eyes with his dark pupils, trying not to imagine the stars in his eyes you had started to love. “I like where we are, Mingi. I wish you would open up to me more and stop being cautious. I wish you would tell me exactly what bothers you so I can at least do something about it instead of treading carefully around you. I wish you would… look at me, Mingi.”

You didn’t know where the words came from, but one thing you were sure about was that you were addressing Mingi, not Erebos. 

“How can I look at you when every time you look at me, you think of the demon inside me?”

You smiled at that. “These brown eyes of yours don’t belong to the demon. Nor does the kindness in them. Neither are they so guarded-” you traced his brows and Mingi inhaled sharply. “And your smile- it isn’t taunting. It isn’t demanding. It is the loveliest smile I’ve seen and produces the loveliest sounds I’ve heard- they’re yours.”

This time, you couldn’t help but trace his lips. The same lips that had kissed you, the same softness of them- your heart fluttered at the proximity and switch of positions now. Mingi, however, was in a trance and didn’t move at all, only watching you staring at his lips for the longest time until you blinked, finally coming back to reality. You smiled again, leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. 

“When I see you, I only see you,” you said- it wasn’t a lie. “And when I see Erebos… I only see the demon. I’m trying my best not to mix the two. You don’t have to be worried about what Erebos does to me, just as Erebos is not worried about what you do with me.”

“And what makes you think Erebos is not worried?” Mingi said and you raised a brow, drawing your hands away from his face. “Do you know why I didn’t come yelling at you yesterday? Because Erebos took over me every time I thought of that.”

Despite the graveness of the topic, you couldn’t help but laugh at that and soon Mingi joined, both of you shaking your heads in amusement. “So I was right about you. I do know you.”

“No you don’t,” Mingi scoffed and for a moment, you saw Erebos behind those eyes. “Anyways, it’s really not a good idea, whatever you think you’re doing. Ask Erebos tonight what he wants with you, will you?”

So you waited for Erebos by the fireplace like you usually did. And this time, Erebos joined, hesitancy in its steps so unlike its usual behaviour. The demon slumped down on the sofa across you and stared daggers into the fireplace.

“Someone’s sulking,” you commented.

“Not in the mood tonight, little bird.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why?”

“You know why.”

“I don’t,” you straightened, not liking its tone. “So tell me why.”

“Why did you talk to Mingi about us?”

The demon finally met eyes with you and you wiped any expressions off your face before you replied, “I didn’t realise I was not allowed to talk with Mingi about the very demon who lives inside him.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” it clenched its jaw and you realised you did. But you weren’t going to admit it.

“Why don’t you tell me what exactly you didn’t like?”

“Look at you,” it scoffed. “What answers are you trying to get out of me?”

You slumped back in defeat. “First of all, I can talk to Mingi about whatever I want. You don’t get to have a say in it. And secondly… I haven’t even asked you anything yet.”

Erebos mirrored your position. “Then why does Mingi get to have a say in what we do?”

“He doesn’t-”

“But you told him you will take a step back because he’s interfering-”

“That’s not why-” you paused as realisation dawned on you. “Are you pissed because I said I’d take a step back from what we did?”

When Erebos didn’t answer, you leaned forward. “I am taking a step back from you because when you kissed me that night, it wasn’t you. What happened to you that night, Erebos? You scared me for a moment and then you looked hurt. What am I supposed to make of it?”

Erebos didn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the ends of its shirt. 

“What do you want with me, Erebos?” You finally asked the question that had been gnawing on your mind before Mingi ever instructed you. However, Erebos remained quiet. You let the demon have a few moments until you couldn’t take it anymore and then you got up.

“Don’t come to me until your head is clear.”

“Wait-” 

You stopped walking away when you heard the urgency in the demon’s voice. You turned to find Erebos standing as if it was about to come after you if you didn’t stop. The demon came near you, running a hand through its messy hair and you turned to hear it. 

“I don’t know what happened to me,” Erebos finally admitted, its voice low and your heart tugged. “All I know is that I’ve never wanted anything more in that moment and I was consumed by something foreign even for me. If you hadn’t stopped me, you would have regretted it. I thought I hurt you, and I didn’t like it, even when I usually enjoy hurting humans. What do I make of it, little bird? Why don’t you tell me?”

You knew you were treading on such dangerous territories but the fact that Erebos was making all these confessions, you simply couldn’t find it in your heart to leave it be. You bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to work out a response but you found yourself speechless instead.

“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me, little bird,” the demon whispered and you shook your head. 

“What will we do, Erebos?”

“Do we have to worry?” Erebos stepped towards you, making you take a step back out of habit. It smirked and you rolled your eyes, knowing it was in teasing mode now. It stepped towards you, making you step back until your back hit the wall and you were trapped. You glared at the demon.

“Now this is what I like to see,” Erebos grinned. You pushed its chest but it grabbed your wrists, making you gape at it but when it caressed them softly, your eyes changed-

“This look in your eyes,” the demon’s raspy voice practically sounded inside you. “I don’t want you to look at anyone else with that look in your eyes.”

“I didn’t-”

“Not even Mingi,” it almost snarled and instead of fear, warmth coursed through your body. “No one else, you understand?”

“I don’t look at Mingi that way-”

“Don’t make me shut you up,” it cocked its head dangerously. “Now… what were you saying about taking a step back from us? When I can practically taste your needs?”

“Erebos,” you sighed in defeat, resting your head on its chest. “Please. Let me think this through.”

“Why do you need to think this through?” Erebos practically whined. “Look at me, little bird.”

With immense effort, you raised your head. If you expected to see the same darkness that took over the demon that night, it wasn’t there. It was just… Erebos being itself. However, you were a bit startled by the sudden proximity as if it finally sank in that you were in its arms yet again. Erebos’s eyes were glazed and it pressed its lips to your temple, lingering before drawing back.

“You can think all you want,” the demon whispered in your ear, tugging at your earlobe with its teeth, making a whimper leave your mouth. “But I know you’ll come back to me, little bird.”

You instinctively craned your neck and you could feel Erebos smirk as it trailed its lips along your neck, resting at your collarbone, its warm breath caressing your skin. You longed to touch the demon but its grip on your wrists was strong. When its full lips pressed on the edge of your collarbone, your knees nearly gave in and you struggled to stand.

As if having proved a point, Erebos stepped back. “I’m not human so I can wait for you as long as you want,” it said, gaze travelling everywhere on your face. “So you can take your time.”

You narrowed your eyes, snatching your wrists away and rubbing them. “You could have simply said that.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Erebos smirked and you tried to calm your thumping heart. “Talking about fun… want to go mage-hunting with me? I have some rogue mages I plan to catch tonight.”

“I’m sure I’ll only slow you down,” you retorted but the demon shook its head, saying you wouldn’t.

It couldn’t have been more wrong.

“You may have the ability to see in the dark but in case you forgot, I’m a mere human,” you spat, scoffing when Erebos stifled its laugh, tripping yet again on another object in the narrow alley you were navigating through. 

“Hold my hand then,” Erebos sounded so smug that you refused to comply. You knew the demon was trying to initiate physical contact through any means possible- all night, it had been a battle of finger brushes, stolen pecks to the cheek or forehead which may have made your heart skip a beat at first but was now annoying you to death-

Another kiss on your temple and a deep laughter boomed and you nearly screamed in frustration. “Erebos, I swear to the heavens above I will obliterate you-”

“Shh,” you felt a finger on your lips in the utter darkness. “Someone’s here- don’t move.”

You obeyed, eyes wide as you glanced around, barely seeing anything in the cloudy night. What were you thinking when you decided this was a good idea?

“I sense one of them,” the demon whispered in your ear, guiding you to stand next to the wall and stay there. “I’ll be back. You have your knife, yes?”

“Oh, I do, completely forgot,” you muttered, checking in your cloak. “Should have stabbed you when I had the chance.”

“I’m going to remove the shadows from around you,” Erebos said and slowly, your vision became better. With a gentle pat to your cheek, the demon went after the mage, leaving you smiling to yourself.

The smile fell when you heard a scream that did not belong to Erebos. You waited for the sounds to die, almost moving from your spot but you knew better than to disobey the demon. After a few minutes, it was back looking proud of itself and you shook your head.

“Are we done?” You asked and Erebos nodded. “Did you… kill the mage?”

“Only put shadow cuffs on him,” Erebos answered. “They nullify magic.”

Your mouth shaped into an O and you asked if you were going home now. Erebos told you it had one last spot to visit and you followed, this time hand intertwined with its own.

You never expected the spot to be a graveyard. You squeezed the demon’s hand but it didn’t respond, simply navigating through the graves until it stopped in front of an unnamed one with a cherry blossom tree sprouting from it.

You watched Erebos look up as if it was praying- who did demons pray to? Did they share the same gods as humans? It didn’t leave your hand once, though, and you felt as if you were invading a private moment. 

When Erebos was done, it passed you a smile and led you further to a bench where you sat. “You must have questions.”

“I do, but you don’t have to answer them,” you told the demon who looked at you gratefully, though it decided to tell you.

“The first time Mingi fell in love after we started sharing a body, I was disgusted by those foreign emotions. It was like the human lost all control of who he was, of his heart and mind. And at that time, we did not know how to live with each other and often slipped into each other’s consciousness unknowingly. And with that… my magic was unstable as well. One wrong move on my part and I took away something from Mingi that I’m still sorry for.”

Your heart sank as you glanced towards the grave and then back at Erebos. “You blame yourself.”

Erebos nodded at your statement. “It’s the only thing I have felt sorry for in my life, because I, too, experienced the love when it was not meant for me. When I didn’t welcome it.”

It explained so much of Mingi’s hesitant and cautious behaviour, of his worries and fears. It also explained some of Erebos’s behaviour. You put a hand on top of the demon’s hand, caressing it. 

“Actions like these wouldn’t have meant anything for me, but after centuries, my heart feels warm again- I don’t know if it’s Mingi’s heart or mine, and it’s making me confused. That night… I almost made the same mistake again and I was so scared. I’m not scared to face the consequences, I’m scared to live with them.”

“But you didn’t,” you whispered. “You didn’t lose control.”

“And what if I do?” Erebos looked at you, eyes dark. “Perhaps, living inside a human has changed me. All I wanted was to destroy yet here I am. I want you all to myself, so selfishly. I want to feel these funny and strange feelings more. I want you, but what if I make the same mistake, this time with someone I-”

With someone I love- the statement hung in the air- perhaps because the demon was not sure if it was love though it had never desired for anything more, perhaps because it was afraid to say it in case things went south, perhaps because it couldn’t bear to see the disgust in your eyes at its confession-

But then you rested your head on Erebos’s shoulder and all its worries dissipated. “I don’t know what it’s like to love,” you said. “I don’t know what this is either, but… I like it. And I’m not afraid of you, Erebos. I feel safe with you- I don’t know why. I never once felt unsafe with you, even when you nearly lost control.”

You felt Erebos relax considerably at your confession. You continued. “I’m sorry for what happened. It must have been hard for you too.”

There it was- your consideration. The one thing that drew Erebos to you from the first moment you met. No one had ever talked to the demon like that in its entire life- how could it not love it?

So the demon rested its face against your head, an impending feeling of doom swirling in its gut, because there was one thing both Mingi and Erebos hid from you-

That you could not love the both of them at the same time. Even if you were halfway there already and neither of them was able to stop you, you could not. It would be the end of one or the other, but…

Did it matter if they got a taste of your love?

—-----------------------

“Wait- don’t light the fire just yet- Wooyoung!”

You shut your eyes more in defeat than to brace yourself from the loud blast that sounded because Wooyoung lit the match at the wrong time during the middle of creating a potion. You could smell smoke and hear Wooyoung’s low giggles and you wondered why you ever agreed to experiment with the healer.

Your father had worked with mages for a long time, and when he was sick and had contacted Wooyoung, they had come up with recipes for new potions while Wooyoung healed him. Your father gave you his notes before his death and you still remembered the recipes, deciding to work with Wooyoung, trying the one for- 

“Agility, you said?” Wooyoung asked, coughing a bit and you finally opened your eyes to see him draw a cross on his notes. 

“Yes, and if you hadn’t been hell-bent on tweaking it, we wouldn’t be covered in soot,” you groaned. “I said light the fire after the lavender is soaked in the liquid, not when it’s still floating.”

“Are you sure it works?” Wooyoung passed you a cryptic look. “Maybe I do need to tweak it…”

“It’s worked,” you folded your arms defensively. “I’ve used them,” you said, recalling when you once saw your father and Wooyoung working in his lab. “You must remember from his notes, right?”

“Always sneaking around, were you?” Wooyoung cooed. “I distinctly remember your father telling you to go play in your room or something- you were always hiding in the corners.”

“I don’t sneak around now-”

“I saw you shadowing Mingi earlier,” he winked at you and you pouted. “Why do you keep following him around?”

You looked away from Wooyoung’s searching gaze but found yourself caged when he continued to stare at you, waiting for an answer. You sighed deeply.

“Because he’s either hiding something from me or he hates me and I need to know what it is.”

You did not miss Wooyoung’s subtle eye roll but only you were aware of how Mingi was trying to avoid your eyes, would look at you when you thought you didn’t know he was, and appeared to be about to say something but would then stop. It was a game of push and pull now, and you were losing.

“That’s not it,” Wooyoung shook his head. “It’s probably something else.”

“I’m just confused, Wooyoung. Is it because Erebos told me about Mingi’s first love? Is that a topic the demon should have avoided? Or is it because…”

Because you continued to tread on dangerous lines with Erebos. And because Mingi could probably see some of it himself- after all, how much could Erebos push him back into their subconscious? Was it making Mingi confused because it always used to be the other way round?

“Erebos, huh?” Wooyoung tsk-ed. “If your father saw you today…”

You glared at him. “He’d be proud of me for running away and making it alive. And proud that I’m tolerating you lot.”

“Isn’t it us tolerating the human?” Wooyoung wondered out loud and you threw the nearest object- a flask- at him, which he caught, grinning. “I can tell you he’s not avoiding you on purpose. Something must be bothering him. He couldn’t hate you even if he tried.”

You looked at the healer. “Why?”

“Why don’t you ask him that?” Wooyoung got up and began to clean the mess, tossing you a washcloth so you could help. “He’s not always like this. He looks like something is eating him up.”

Wooyoung wasn’t wrong. Over the course of the past few days, while you and Erebos only grew friendlier- the demon even more teasing and reckless than ever, you and Mingi had also settled into something calm and… cosy. Where Erebos was a literal manifestation of shadows and being with him felt dark and thrilling, Mingi radiated warmth like none other- his voice grounded you and being with him washed a sense of tranquillity over you. You did not know what you craved more, especially because Erebos had been busier recently and you spent more time with Mingi.

Mingi didn’t talk about whatever you and Erebos discussed that night in the graveyard, but his smile had become kinder as if he himself was grateful that you didn’t run away from him. You wondered how many people ran away from him simply because of the demon inside him- he, too, must have been hurt because of the looks of fear or disgust he received. You recalled a couple of days ago when you were watching him trim the plants surrounding the house and he had looked so shy that it made your heart ache unexpectedly-

“Don’t look at me like that, y/n.” 

“Like what?”

“Like how you look at Erebos. As if he’s everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“But-”

“I just can’t take it”, he smiled helplessly. “It makes me want something that isn’t mine.”

Despite this, Mingi didn’t push you away. He continued to find you during the day and engage you in some activity, and even if you two didn’t talk you’d find solace being in each other’s company. However, his casual finger brushes and pats hadn’t escaped your notice. You knew he was very physically affectionate even with Seonghwa and Wooyoung and perhaps this was the same, but he didn’t look at you the way he looked at the others. You knew that well and good.

After cleaning the soot, you went outside for a breather, spotting Mingi at the bank of the river, this time with his feet dipped in the water. He seemed to be enjoying the warm rays of sun, head tipped backwards. Despite your quiet steps, he seemed to have heard the ruffle of grass and motioned for you to join him. You rolled your trousers up a little before sinking your feet into the cool water, grinning to yourself as you settled down.

“Such a nice day today, isn’t it?” You looked up at the fluffy clouds spreading across the sky. “The sun is about to set. I should have joined you earlier.”

“We still have some time,” he smiled. “I heard a little blast inside. Wooyoung again?”

“Me, but it was Wooyoung who messed us up,” you laughed. “Did you manage to find the missing mage?”

“Not yet. I’ve been searching since sunrise but there’s no sign. Erebos might be able to sense the mage better so I’ll leave it to the demon. I’m done for the day.”

“Well, at least the demon is useful for one thing,” you joked and he laughed- he quite enjoyed when you made fun of Erebos and you were glad talking about the demon wasn’t something that made you two awkward anymore. 

“But you should know,” Mingi started, “We don’t work for the Mage Society willingly. It’s something we have to do so they will allow us to live.”

You frowned- that was news to you. “Why?”

“They just don’t like the idea that a human is a mage now,” he looked at you. “You know they’ve always discriminated between pure mages and mages who were once human.”

You were aware that Mingi was once human, however, you were not aware of the circumstances that brought Erebos to possess Mingi. “Can I ask how…”

Mingi seemed to understand and he nodded. “I was simply at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Erebos needed a human vessel who it could coexist with. Not all humans can live with a demon inside them, you know.”

You made an impressed face. “So there was something special about you?”

“You could say. Perhaps I was stronger- maybe physically, maybe mentally. We did have a rough time coexisting in the beginning but we’re used to each other now.”

“And why did Erebos need a human vessel? Because it was cursed?”

Mingi paused and you realised he was wondering if you should have asked that from him. He took a deep breath before he said, “Cursed and exiled from the demon realm, like Seonghwa.”

You were satisfied with his answer. “Do you ever wonder if there was a reason why you had to be the human that Erebos possessed?”

“I do,” he admitted. “Even though we haven’t found any answer yet. I guess it was fate, then. So I could meet the people and be here at this moment?” He looked at you and smiled. “Something like that?”

Before you could respond, his brows furrowed and he brought his hand to the side of your face, his fingers gripping the crevice between your ear and neck as he ran his thumb across your cheekbone. “Were you playing with fire? You’re smudged with soot-”

Perhaps, he noticed the way your eyes opened a fraction wider or your lips parted as if it was suddenly hard to breathe. Perhaps, he could hear the loud thumping of your heart. Or maybe he noticed the way your eyes scanned his face- you could see the browns in his eyes, the shadow his lashes casted over them, the mole under his eye. Maybe he could tell you loved the way his hair fell over his forehead, the dark and blue strands resembling the night sky.

You blinked and waited for him to draw away but he didn’t and it only made you more anxious for what was next. Swallowing once, you barely managed to whisper his name. He only caressed your cheekbone in answer, still seeming to be in a trance as he locked eyes with you. When he started leaning forward, you wondered if your eyes betrayed you in that moment- that he saw that you wanted this. Wanted him-

He paused when your noses almost brushed. “I-I shouldn’t-”

“It’s okay,” you breathed, locking eyes. “It’s… okay.”

What was okay, he wondered? The fact that he had come back to his senses before he did anything? Or was it an approval to go ahead and do whatever he wanted to do at that moment? 

Mingi looked down and smiled a bit- whatever this was… it had been such a long time since he felt like this- like his nerves were on fire. When he found you smiling shyly as well, he couldn’t take it- he planted a kiss on your cheek, patting it once before saying he was heading inside, leaving you wondering how during that moment, not once did you think about the demon inside him.

Not once.

—----------------------

Later that night, when you were fixing up a loose thread on your dress in your room, you heard two sharp knocks- a sound you were very familiar with now. Somehow, Erebos and you had come up with this- if your door was slightly open, he could knock and come in, otherwise he would take it as a sign to bug off. It also applied to you and being on the end of a shut door was not a pleasant feeling, but you two were also crossing these boundaries now- opening a shut door just a fraction to check if the other was okay.

“What you doing?” Erebos sang as it entered, making itself home on your bed. You hummed in response- the demon could clearly see what you were doing. Breaking the thread with your teeth, you secured the stitch and put it aside, folding your arms as you shook your head at how comfortable the demon looked.

“I thought I made it clear that I don’t want you in my bed.”

Erebos scoffed. “The seat is not empty.”

You glanced towards the seat- you did not remember putting a bunch of clothes on it. You narrowed your eyes at the demon but decided to let it go. “Did you find the mage?”

“Just returned,” the demon answered, “Was my little bird waiting for me?”

“As if,” you tsk-ed, looking away- of course you were. You just wouldn’t ever admit it. After all, you waited all day for this part of the night.

And all night to see Mingi-

“I can taste the lies in the air, human,” the demon licked its lips. “Tell me… why did you ask Mingi about why I possessed him today?”

So it had been listening. You gulped, wondering if the demon had also witnessed the look in your eyes when Mingi was so close-

“I didn’t mean to ask,” you glared at it- Erebos knew you never probed. You never even asked it, save for that one time you did and got the silent treatment. 

“I know,” the demon’s gaze softened for a mere second before it darkened. “And why did you look at Mingi like that? I thought I made it clear that you cannot look at anyone else that way?”

You rolled your eyes even though your heart sank. You did feel guilty, but somehow… it felt alright. “I can look at whoever I want whatever way I want.”

“Oh? Can you now?” Erebos chuckled deeply and you passed it an annoyed look, getting up to put your clothes back in the cupboard. 

However, you did not expect to find it standing- no, towering over you when you turned around- you hadn’t even heard the demon move. You shut your eyes as you tried to calm your heart, but-

But the demon’s hands cupped your face so softly that for a second, you wondered if it was Mingi instead. Only upon opening your eyes and spotting the stars in its irises confirmed that it was indeed the demon.

Erebos looked conflicted as it scanned your eyes. Your gaze softened too- it had been a while since the demon looked at you like you were not a meal- an inside joke now. It reminded you of your first and only kiss, in the hills when the demon had nearly lost control. You leaned into the demon’s touch when it caressed your face and saw the telltale signs of a smile on its lips.

“Can you not look at Mingi with these eyes, little bird?” Erebos almost sounded hurt. “I don’t like it.”

“Erebos, I-”

“No,” the demon shook its head. “I don’t want to know- just let me…”

If the demon was going to ask for permission, it must have decided against it because it crashed its lips on yours, earning a surprised groan from you but you immediately melted into the kiss, clutching at the demon’s shirt. Erebos leaned down to kiss you better and it was just like the first time again, making you breathless and your heart ached as it yearned to be closer to the demon in every way possible. 

You broke apart, already out of breath but Erebos’s lips were back on your skin, peppering kisses all the way down your jaw to your neck and then back up, looking at you once- perhaps to make sure if you were okay- before diving back in to kiss your lips. You responded more eagerly this time, your arms wrapping around its neck and the demon took that sign to pick you up, earning a giggle from you and you absolutely loved the way the demon smiled at you- it was pure. You didn’t doubt the demon’s intentions once and this just strengthened your beliefs. 

Erebos placed you on the bed- not so gently this time- and you both laughed a bit, taking a moment to simply look at the other. You crawled on the demon’s lap, its arms going to hold your waist, and ran a hand through the soft strands of its hair- Mingi’s hair- that you so loved. You traced the edges of its face- Mingi’s face- and kissed the mole under its eye-

How could you kiss him and not see Mingi?

Erebos seemed to notice the hesitation in your eyes and you thought the demon looked sad for a moment before it craned its neck to kiss you again, slower this time, deeper, as if it wanted to say a lot but didn’t have the words for it. You kissed the demon back just like that, making out endlessly with its hands everywhere on your body until you heard it suppress a little groan. You drew back for a second but then it pushed you back on the bed, getting on top of you and-

Pressing its thigh between your legs as it kissed you almost hungrily- the sudden shift almost made you a little dizzy and you cupped its face, breaking apart-

“Erebos- tell me your name, please-”

The demon kissed you again, slowing down just a notch and you moaned into the kiss, loving as its hands found your bare skin, loving the way it rocked its body against yours, loving the way its plump lips tasted on yours, loving the gasp that left its mouth-

Not Erebos, your mind screamed and you broke apart for breath, noticing even in the faint light of the lamp that the eyes no longer had stars in it. 

Mingi had taken over.

Mingi seemed to understand that you knew, yet, when he drew in and brushed his nose against you, you almost moaned. You became hyper aware of his hand on your bare waist where your shirt had lifted, of his other hand squeezing your neck gently as if all his self-control lay there, of his chest rocking against yours as he took deep breaths. This time, you were the one who pulled him in and swallowed all his hesitation as you kissed him, with a dreadful realisation that perhaps, you had failed to keep the boundaries, the distinctions clear. Mingi didn’t seem to mind though- he kissed you back just as enthusiastically, welcoming your tongue in his mouth.

Just as Mingi groaned in pleasure into the kiss, it changed into one of pain and he drew back abruptly. You noticed how his eyes blackened altogether as he clutched his head. You got up into a sitting position and leaned towards him to help but he pushed you away-

“Y/n, run.”

“No, Mingi- please-”

“No,” Mingi clenched his jaw and buried his head in the bed. You realised it was Erebos and the demon must be so, so angry- not only with Mingi, but you. You caressed his head despite his constant warnings and held him.

“Erebos,” you almost cried. “Please. Not like this.”

Mingi calmed down almost completely and you wondered if he had lost consciousness before he raised his head and you saw the stars in his angry eyes as it looked at you questioningly.

“I’m sorry,” you cried, wiping your eyes. “I don’t have anything else to say.”

Erebos was silent and you wondered if the demon hadn’t heard you until you noticed the shadows seeping out of it and spreading in the room. You squeezed the demon’s hand, locking eyes with it. “Look at me, Erebos.”

“Why?”

A strangled cry left you when you heard how broken, how devastated the demon sounded. Erebos buried its head in your lap and shadows continued to seep out of its body and you dared to touch the edge of one, drawing away with a cry- it seemed to burn. 

“Erebos?” You caressed its head. “Erebos, please-”

“Go away,” the demon simply said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You pursed your lips, looking towards the door when you heard the sound of footsteps- it was Seonghwa and he looked utterly surprised. He rushed towards you and said, “You need to get away from Erebos- the shadows are not safe right now.”

“I can’t leave Erebos like this,” you cried. 

“Take her before I hurt her,” Erebos said, almost falling limp and you snatched your arm away when Seonghwa tried to grab it.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t leave them like this- both Mingi and Erebos,” you told him and he looked conflicted. You shut your eyes and hugged their body, not minding the way your skin burned wherever it came in contact with the shadows. You hummed a melody that your father used to sing at your bed and Seonghwa gasped, drawing away from you-

The shadows were not hurting you- not anymore.

He watched both your and Mingi’s body melt into each other as you lost consciousness, the shadows no longer in the air. He made sure the two of you were breathing and were alright before he left the room and found his way to the kitchen, slumping on a chair-

Maybe it was time- never had Erebos been able to control its magic from hurting someone until this moment. It was as if even though the demon had lost consciousness, it still knew to protect you.

Seonghwa smiled at the two bodies that clung to each other, as if providing comfort. His smile was sad though- it looked like the curse would soon break. 

It was going to be a mess.

—---------------------

You woke up with every muscle in your body aching as if you had overused it. Groaning, you turned in the bed, biting your lips to swallow the cry of pain that would have left you. You blinked a few times, trying to recall just what you had done last night to be this tired-

Mingi.

You got up with immense effort- he was not here anymore and it was dark outside- just how long had you been sleeping? You noticed the glass of water and a potion next to you, a note attached in Wooyoung’s handwriting that said ‘you better drink this before you move’. Knowing Wooyoung’s potion would probably do you some good, you drank the bitter pink liquid before exiting the room-

It was so, so dark outside. Unnaturally dark and you could barely see anything. With a dreadful realisation, you started towards Mingi’s room, letting your hand against the wall guide you towards the end of the hall. You found a faint light from the room and when you entered, you first saw Seonghwa leaning towards something, a white flame lighting the lone candle in the corner-

Seonghwa was caressing something- someone. Mingi. 

Seonghwa’s head turned when a strangled cry left your mouth and he urged you to wait outside. You stood like a little kid behind the door until he urged you to follow him to Wooyoung’s room, who was going through some notes.

“I can’t find anything,” Wooyoung sighed in defeat, slumping on the couch. “Don’t you remember if something like this has happened in the past?”

“Each curse is unique,” Seonghwa simply said as if that explained everything.

“What’s happening?” You tried not to sound frantic but failed. “Why are they like this?”

“Do you remember what happened before you passed out?” Seonghwa asked.

“I… I was trying to calm them down- Mingi and Erebos.” you recalled. “I was humming a song my father taught me and then… why did I pass out? Was it because of their magic?”

“You could have died, y/n,” Seonghwa shook his head. “Somehow, they protected you with their magic, even when they lost control. Do you know that’s the first time they’ve ever been able to do that?”

Your heart sank- you recalled all the stories Mingi and Erebos had told you about not being able to protect the people they loved when they lost control and the shadows burned them- they burned you a bit too but when you hummed…

“They must have felt you even when they were far gone,” Wooyoung smiled sadly. “I don’t know if I should be pleased about it though…”

“Well, we have got to do something about Mingi and Erebos,” Seonghwa said. “I wouldn’t suggest you going to them right now- it might not work in your favour.”

You didn’t quite understand what they were getting at. “But it happened because of me. I… I knew Erebos wouldn’t like it if I became closer to Mingi, but…”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Wooyoung muttered and Seonghwa looked at him in warning but he shook his head. “She should know.”

“What now?” Your voice quivered.

“You should know that it’s not your fault,” Wooyoung said gently. “The demon was cursed. Did they ever tell you why?”

You shook your head in denial and Wooyoung motioned at Seonghwa to continue. “Ages ago, Erebos was a high status demon in their realm. The Lord of Shadows. Erebos was powerful enough to control other demons, and though it had better things to do than involve itself in petty mischief, it was also powerful enough to undo their damage- mainly human possession which was very rampant at that time. One day… Erebos came across some demon who was violating the demon code- we are not allowed to leave evidence of demon possession, but that demon wanted to show the world that it could do whatever it pleased.

“Erebos wasn’t going to involve itself but one thing led to another and since Erebos held the authority, it killed that demon. Turns out the demon was some other high lord’s underling who got pissed and reported it to the court where Erebos was going to receive its judgement.”

“But… it wasn’t Erebos’s fault,” you said and Seonghwa nodded.

“The demons aren’t forgiving. If they forgive, wouldn’t that make them human?” He smiled. “Erebos could have been ‘grounded’, in layman terms, or stripped of his title but demons are a sadistic bunch. They twisted his intentions thinking that the demon ‘pitied’ the human. They cursed him to live inside a human, to feel like a human does, until-”

“Until?” You waited but Seonghwa glanced at Wooyoung now. Your heart sank as you recalled something familiar-

The scroll Mingi had hid under the plank in the hallway.

You got up and went outside, walking almost mechanically towards the end of the hallway and took out the scroll and watched Wooyoung shake his head, confirming your suspicions. You opened it and read it again:

“Once the shadow, once the light 

As one, the two must thrive  

A curse both must fight 

To one’s end, they dive 

For love, with all their might 

Hearts awakened, live alive”

“What does it mean?” You went back inside the room and spread the scroll on the table. “They’re clearly talking about Erebos, but…”

“‘A curse both must fight, to one’s end they dive, for love’,” Seonghwa quoted. “They will continue to fight the curse to one’s end because ultimately, only one of them can live inside that body. No matter how much they try to coexist, it’s not possible- this episode they’re having is not their first one but it might be their final one, because…”

“‘For love’,” Wooyoung’s smile was sad. “Once the two fall in love with the same person… the curse will break. It’s twisted because a demon is not supposed to feel those emotions but Erebos can feel them now, because of Mingi. Mingi has fallen in love a few times in the past centuries but Erebos never gave in, until…”

It couldn’t be.

“This does not make any sense, it’s stupid,” you almost spat. “Is the curse even real or was it just to mock Erebos? And Erebos is a demon, it cannot love-”

You recalled that night in the graveyard well and good. You recalled what Erebos said about wanting you, wanting to be with you. Could you not call it love when it did so much for you, waited to be with you, touched you like you could break, kissed you like time was running short?

And Mingi… He told you not to look at him the way you looked at Erebos, like the demon was everything you ever wanted. 

“It… cannot be,” you said, not realising your face was wet and your vision was blurry. “What will happen?”

“We do not know,” Wooyoung patted your back. “Maybe try talking to them. Seonghwa, let’s allow her to. We need to know if this is just another episode or if the curse is breaking- if this might be the end.”

“Why did no one tell me about the curse?” You looked at the two.

“Not our place to tell you, and they have forbidden us to,” Seonghwa shook his head. “We only let you know now because the situation called for it.”

“If I had known-”

“If you had known, it would have still happened anyway,” Wooyoung squeezed your shoulder. “Love is not a feeling you can control.”

You stared into the fire for the longest moment, wishing you could undo everything from the moment you met Mingi and Erebos. You wished you had not decided to stay, nor found a family in this odd group. You wished you hadn’t fallen for a demon and then the human who coexisted in one body. But no matter how much you cursed yourself over it, it was no use. 

Love was not a feeling you could control.

You had long since stopped crying, now in a state of numbness. Seonghwa and Wooyoung were patiently waiting for you to make a decision.

“I’m going to try talking to them,” you swallowed the choking feeling in your throat. “I can’t give up- not like this.”

“You’re strong,” Wooyoung smiled proudly. “And I think only you could have done this- make a demon fall for you. How crazy is that?”

You laughed at that, hiding your face as it settled in and a sob left your body. Wooyoung was quick to get up and rub your back.

“It’s tragic, I know, but it has been very painful for them to coexist in one body,” he told you. “We helped in any way we could but it was never enough. I think they found comfort in you- both Mingi and Erebos. It’s going to be okay, don’t lose faith.”

“I don’t want to lose them,” you cried. “I don’t want to lose either of them. It’s very selfish of me, but-”

“We’ve grown quite attached to them too,” Seonghwa admitted. “But we can’t avoid it. It’s cruel, but it is the way it is.”

You nodded, preparing yourself for what was next, hoping for a miracle that you knew might not come.

—------------------------

It was dark and it was cold. There was no way out. The darkness hugged Mingi and the cold settled in his bones. There was not a sound- not even of his own breath. The shadows were endless.

Mingi wondered how he had gotten here but there was no answer. It was just the way it was, how it happened. There was no one to blame, no one to point fingers at. He had learned not to question how cruel the hands of fate could be. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if it really had to be this way.

Mingi called Erebos’s name, hoping to find solace in the darkness of their subconsciousness but Erebos seemed to have given in to the void as well. So Mingi waited, not alone but so lonely. He waited for Erebos to wake up, for a miracle to happen-

“Mingi? Can you hear me?”

It was your voice, so distant that he wondered if he was imagining it. 

“Erebos? Mingi? Please, talk to me.”

No- it was real. Their names were being called. Mingi looked around, blindly thrashing around in hopes of finding Erebos, wondering if the demon could hear it too. 

As Mingi started gaining a bit of consciousness, he could make out another figure in the void- Erebos’s figure- he did not know if the demon had a body of its own but whenever the two interacted in their subconscious, it was like they were looking in a mirror. The only difference had always been in their eyes. 

“Erebos,” Mingi nudged the demon’s body, sitting with its head buried between its knees, arms wrapped around itself as if that could protect the demon from what was ahead. “Wake up.”

The demon didn’t budge and Mingi heard your voice call for them again. He was pretty sure Erebos was ignoring it on purpose now. “Hey, I know you can hear me and her. Look at me.”

The demon finally gave an indication of not having lost it completely by tapping its fingers- a sign Mingi would have missed had he not been paying attention. Mingi sighed deeply. “How long are you going to be like this?”

“I’m just wondering…” Erebos finally said, not looking up. “If this is the end.”

Mingi was wondering too- it had never been so dark here. He could feel their magic getting out of control, nothing like they had ever experienced before. No matter how much he tried to get back into his consciousness, it wasn’t working. 

“The curse, huh?” Mingi shook his head. “So you’re in love with y/n? I thought you were incapable of love.”

“I thought I was too,” Erebos finally looked up. “Until I found myself protecting her with all my might when you kissed her and we lost control.”

Mingi looked away- it was his fault too. The first time the demon fell in love and he had to be there and mess things up-

“I know what you’re thinking,” Erebos smiled. “I’m not sure I could have fallen in love if it weren’t for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am a demon, Mingi,” Erebos scoffed. “I may only be feeling these human emotions because I live within a human body now.”

“That is not how this works, and you know it,” Mingi tsk-ed. 

“You’re the one who insisted that demons do not have a heart,” Erebos tsk-ed back. 

“I was wrong. Seonghwa is also a demon- he would not have been helping us for centuries if he did not have a heart. He never demanded anything in return. And you…” Mingi shook his head. “I know you blame yourself over what happened when I first fell in love. It was not your fault, and if you were a demon, you wouldn’t have been wallowing in guilt. You would have enjoyed my misery.”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Don’t pretend to be heartless now when you visit the grave every year and pray to god knows who,” Mingi said and Erebos pursed its lips- it had always tried to force Mingi the furthest back in their consciousness whenever it did that, but it looked like the demon may have slipped. “My point is, you don’t love y/n because of me. You love her because she looked at you- from the beginning. She didn’t care that you were a demon. And you love her because you have a heart of your own, no matter how… dark or ugly it may be.”

Erebos laughed at that and Mingi shared a grin as well, silence settling once again. “Okay, you’re right. We wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t in love with her. And you’re in love with her too.”

Mingi smiled sadly. “How could I not be in love with her when she is the way she is?”

“Little bird,” Erebos smiled fondly and Mingi was taken aback by the display of those emotions in the demon’s eyes. Its smile fell when your voice rang in the void again, calling for them both, begging for them to come back. “I know I wished I was never cursed to be in a human body, but I can’t say that I regret it now that I know what it is like to be loved.”

Mingi felt his heart sink. “What are you getting at?”

“I shouldn’t have been in this body in the first place,” Erebos sounded determined. “I do not deserve to choose to live on and kill you in the process.”

Mingi was taken aback by the sudden declaration. “I know only one of us can make it out alive but… I’m only human. I will grow old and die anyway. If you choose to live… I don’t think I would mind, I…” Mingi laughed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m willingly giving you the choice to live in my body and kill me in the process, but Erebos… that human loves you. You deserve to be loved too.”

Erebos shook its head. “I do not deserve to be loved, but I am thankful for the love I have received. I cannot go back and choose to live. The human loves you too, Mingi. I think she deserves a human, not a demon by her side for the rest of her life.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Erebos got up. “She’s human, Mingi. I would ruin her. And even if I love her with all my heart, I wouldn’t be able to live when she dies- because I will outlive her. I would rather kill myself than see her dead. You humans… you’re used to the notion of death. You understand that you grow old and die. I do not.”

Erebos raised its hands and the shadows gathered in its palms. Mingi took a step back, almost panicking. “What are you doing?”

“Putting an end to this for once and for all,” Erebos announced.

“Wait- wait,” Mingi pounced on him, surprising the demon as they fell. “You don’t get to go just like this. You can’t do this to her- you have to tell her.”

“I can’t face her again-”

“No, you listen to me,” Mingi groaned in frustration. “You can’t do this without saying goodbye.”

“If you think my mind will change once I see her, you’re wrong.”

“I know it won’t,” Mingi shook his head. “But she deserves a goodbye too.”

Erebos thought about it and Mingi could see the doubt in the demon’s eyes. Before Erebos could make a decision, Mingi grabbed Erebos’s hands, the shadows looping around his arm now.

“What do you think you are doing?” Erebos tried snatching its hands away but Mingi smiled, forcing the shadows to shift to himself and-

Forcing Erebos into consciousness.

You felt the shift in the air instantly and watched Erebos lift its head and look at you, almost in disbelief and confusion. A short sob left you as you knelt down next to him, bringing your hands to the demon’s face but hesitating, letting them hover until Erebos relaxed.

“You’re… back,” you caressed its face. “Are you okay?”

Erebos didn’t say anything, simply leaned forward to wrap its arms around you as if it, too, had been afraid. You smiled- this was the first time Erebos actually hugged you. You looped your own arms around its neck and the demon shifted under you, burying its face in the crook of your neck and staying like that for the longest time, not saying a word, simply relishing the feeling-

“Erebos,” you finally whispered. “What happened?”

Erebos didn’t respond, instead nudged your neck with its nose and you would have thought the demon was just having a moment until you felt something wet on your neck and you drew back to see-

The demon was crying.

“What’s the matter?” Your heart broke at the way Erebos was looking at you. Its hands were shaking as they cupped your face and caressed your skin, scanning you as if it was memorising the way you looked. “Erebos, please, tell me what’s going on.”

The demon only smiled, tears streaking down its face. You felt your heart sink in the worst possible way, looking around to see the shadows still wild around you. “The curse… it hasn’t broken yet, has it? Is Mingi okay?”

“He’s okay,” Erebos assured you but you couldn’t relax.

“Is the curse going to break?”

The demon’s silence was enough. You took a deep breath. “Tell me how to undo everything. I will leave. I don’t want you two to live like this-”

“It’s already done,” Erebos wiped the tears from your eyes. “It’s going to end soon, little bird.”

“What do you mean?” You cried out. “What’s going to happen?”

“It’s been an honour to have been loved by you.” 

“No, no, please,” you gripped the demon’s hands. “What are you doing?”

“I was going to leave but Mingi forced me back here so I could… say goodbye,” Erebos laughed a little. “I think it was wise of him to do so.”

“Leave where?” You whispered and you heard a shuffle of sound behind you, Wooyoung and Seonghwa now present in the room. Erebos nodded at them, mouthing a ‘thank you’. Seonghwa took a deep breath, turning around and facing the white flame while Wooyoung put one hand over his heart and one over Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“I was never meant to be here,” Erebos kissed your forehead, lingering. “This is how it is supposed to end. You deserve to be loved by a human, not a demon.”

“That makes no sense,” you let out a short laugh. “I… Please, don’t do this. Tell me how to make it better- there must be a loophole. It doesn’t have to end with one of you-”

You couldn’t say it, hiding your face in Erebos’s lap as you cried your heart out, the demon caressing your body. The sobs racked through your body and you felt like you were in physical pain- you simply couldn’t seem to catch your breath. There was so much you wanted to say to Erebos, so much you wished to tell the demon but you couldn’t form the words.

“I don’t want to leave seeing you cry,” Erebos’s voice was filled with sadness. “I want to see you smiling before I leave. Please, little bird? I don’t have much time.”

You willed everything in you to tone down your sobs and got up, the demon shaking its head in amusement at your state. “What a mess. Still so pretty.”

Erebos tucked your hair back. “It’s been… a long life in this human body. I’ve never felt alive, not once, until I met you. There’s so much I want to thank you for. I’m not even sure if it’s because I am in a human body that I feel all this. Maybe if I was the Lord of Shadows, I still would have found you and still would have loved you. I feel like I was meant to be here.”

“Stop being so sappy,” you pouted and the demon chuckled, wiping the fresh stream of tears from your eyes. You shut your eyes, memorising the way the demon’s skin felt- cold. Too cold to be human. When the demon hugged you again, you memorised the pattern of its breathing- uneven. It had always been irregular. And when the demon kissed your cheek, you memorised the way it felt- like a feather. When the demon joined its forehead with yours, you noted in your heart the sound of its breath against yours. And when the demon kissed you on your lips, you tucked that feeling into the deepest corner of your heart- the feeling of being enveloped in the safest of shadows. 

You stayed like that for a few moments before its body shook and you finally opened your eyes. You could see the light in Erebos’s eyes fade away and it smiled, struggling to keep upright. You sucked in your tears, remembering that Erebos wished for you to smile. You patted your lap and the demon lied down, looking up at you.

“Will you tell me your name now?” You asked.

The demon smiled. “It’s nothing much.”

“Just tell me your name,” you glared at it and the demon laughed. You memorised the sound of it as well.

“Tirich,” it said. “My name is Tirich. It means darkness- or shadow.”

“Tirich,” you called and the demon shut its eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Such a beautiful name. Tirich,” you repeated again, kissing its forehead. 

“Y/n,” it called and you shut your eyes, willing yourself not to cry at the way it said your name. “My little bird.” You laughed and Tirich took one of your hands in its own, while your other caressed its head. “Can you sing me that song again? Before I go to sleep?”

You nodded. Tirich looked over at the healer and the demon still hanging by. “Come here, you two. Stop hanging like bats in the corner.”

You laughed at the duo, looking as messy as you with tear-stained faces and trembling hands. They came to sit near Tirich and the demon looked fondly at them for once, making Wooyoung shake his head.

“Not how I imagined you’d go, but this is better,” he grinned. Tirich grinned back and looked at Seonghwa, tsk-ing. 

“Remind me why they kicked you out of the demon realm again?”

“Shut up,” Seonghwa muttered and everyone laughed at that. “At least I accept that this is the way I am. You’re still wondering if you’re looking at us with heart eyes because of Mingi.”

“It’s definitely Erebos- Tirich,” Wooyoung smiled as he corrected. “I must say I’m disappointed. We’ve spent centuries with you but you go ahead and tell your name to the girl you just met-”

“You wish you were me,” you stuck out your tongue at the healer and he did the same. Tirich coughed a little, drawing everyone’s attention back.

“I’m going now,” the demon said. “Please… sing me the song.”

You kissed the demon’s forehead one last time, whispering in its ear that you loved every moment you got to be with it and will never forget it. You hummed the song, caressing the demon’s face, your voice starting to tremble as you felt the shadows around you recede back and back until nothing was left. You didn’t stop- not when Seonghwa and Wooyoung hugged each other and cried. Not when the demon’s body went limp in your lap. The tears fell and you continued singing until the sobs took over when nothing was left and you felt the body in your lap move again.

Mingi was back.

Mingi let you cry with your face buried in his chest for the longest time until you passed out from exhaustion. He tucked you in his bed and he finally sat down, feeling the most empty even though his heart felt full for once. It was as if a part of him was gone now. He stared at his palm, so very human. He felt weak, and he couldn’t make it to the bed- he passed out as well, though Wooyoung came right on time, knowing it would be tough for Mingi to use a body that was fully human without the strength of a demon that had braced it for centuries.

The healer tucked Mingi beside you, shaking his head at the irony- two humans who lost a demon that they loved in their own twisted ways. 

—----------------------

“I thought I said I wanted this in red and black, not blue and black.”

“I distinctly remember you saying how blue was a nice colour-”

“For you!” Wooyoung groaned. “I wanted my scarf in red and black!”

“Well…” you considered for a moment, looking down at the bundle of your knitted scarfs. “My bad?”

Seonghwa, who was watching you two bicker, snorted loudly, making Wooyoung jump up and down in frustration and you promised between breathless laughter that you would make him another scarf. Seonghwa shook his head. “We know you’re obsessed with the colour blue, but I want mine in pink and white. Not blue and white.”

You pursed your lips, muttering, “Noted.” The duo nodded at you before continuing to set the table for dinner. At that moment, Mingi came from outside, having collected fresh oranges from the trees not far from your house. You waved at him and he smiled, placing the basket on the kitchen counter before hopping to you and planting a kiss on your temple.

“That’s mine, right?” Mingi pointed at the blue and black scarf in your lap.

“You like it?”

Mingi nodded and you handed him the scarf, smiling at how his eyes lit up. He went to try it on in front of the mirror near the door and you gathered your wool, getting up. One of the balls of wool rolled down and before you could grab it, it continued to roll down endlessly across the living room and you groaned.

“Seonghwa, can you please make this house stand straighter? Look at that,” you pointed at the ball of wool still unrolling, bumping into whatever was in the way and changing directions. “The elevation is all messed up.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. You made a face before gathering the thread and following it to see where it unrolled off to, sitting under the stairs now. You picked it up and started rolling it, looking up and halting entirely- 

On the table where you collected your candles, one of them was burning with a black flame- you wondered if you were imagining it but you took a closer look, in awe at how dark the flame was- you had never seen a flame that was shades of black. You picked the candle up, running your finger over the flame but it didn’t burn. You wondered if this was one of Wooyoung’s strange objects he used for healing-

You frowned, putting your finger right over the flame and feeling the familiarity of the flame, no, the shadow. 

It couldn’t be.

“Uh, Seonghwa!” You almost screamed, making everyone look at you. “Is this your flame?”

Before Seonghwa could even make his way to you, you were rushing to him, surprised when the air didn’t make the flame budge, not one bit. You stopped when you reached them, blowing at the flame and everyone collectively gasped when it didn’t blow out. 

“Wait, is this you?” Wooyoung looked at Seonghwa who shook his head furiously.

“My flame is white- you’ve seen it.”

“That’s not me. Mingi?”

“Isn’t this-” Mingi narrowed his eyes. “Douse it with water.”

“No,” you hid the candle away from him but Wooyoung was quick to grab the glass of water and spill it on the candle, making you shout and almost cry but you recovered when you saw the flame was still burning in its full glory. You settled the candle on the table and everyone stared at it.

“Should I say it?” Seonghwa looked at everyone. “It’s a shadow flame. It has to be Tirich.”

Your heart sank. “How?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa smiled in disbelief, looking at Mingi. “You tell.”

Mingi poked his tongue in his cheek, a clear indication that he knew something. You waited for him to spill but he groaned, overwhelmed by everyone’s questioning gaze. “Look, it’s something Tirich said long ago as a joke- I didn’t know the demon could actually do it.”

“So it’s Tirich?”

“I’m not sure,” Mingi touched the flame. “Feels like it but I don’t feel its presence, you know?” Seonghwa nodded in agreement. “Maybe the demon gathered all its remaining energy to be this undying-” Mingi pressed his fingers on the wick of the candle, the flame disappearing but reappearing right when he pulled his fingers back, “-stubborn flame.”

Wooyoung cackled, clapping his hands in amusement. “It’s something Tirich would do. Just can’t leave us alone, can it?”

You laughed, nodding, happy tears leaving your eyes as you watched the flame burn endlessly, the candle wax not even melting. Mingi patted your back and the two of you shared a grin, a sense of relief settling over you.

The candle was placed on the fireplace mantel by you. You insisted that this was Tirich’s favourite spot though Wooyoung argued that it was the roof but you refused to give in. This was where you had first talked to Tirich and this was where you met every night. Once in a while, someone would try to see if the flame would budge- mostly Wooyoung again. He would try water, salt, everything in his book but the flame seemed to be immortal. Sometimes, when you watched it as you thought of Erebos, you could swear it flickered in response. You could swear it burned brighter whenever Mingi and you watched it together with the fondest memories of the demon in your hearts. 

It didn’t hurt anymore, not like it did earlier. It was like the demon was still with you, in the form of that flame, watching over you. Whenever you felt like crying, you recalled how Tirich said it wanted to see you smile, always. So you never cried, at least not at your favourite spot where the candle stood. You only cried in Mingi’s arms who was always there for you, so loving and caring, so warm. He understood that you missed the demon- he, too, did. He had to cope not only emotionally but physically as well, so you focused your energy on trying to make it easier for him as well.

You learned how to etch on metal and with the help of Seonghwa, you created a candle stand for ‘Tirich’s candle’, as you all called it. It was a beautiful shade of silver and you etched a phrase on it that you would always remember. When you showed it off to everyone, they loved your idea and agreed the candle looked better with the new stand. You took to decorating the mantle next, everyone leaving a little something that they had associated with Tirich on it- a small bottle that Wooyoung used for storing their potion, a piece of mirror Seonghwa had brought from the demon realm where sometimes he could see his home, and the blue ribbon Mingi had tied the scroll with- the scroll which had turned to ashes the moment the curse broke.

You stared at the finished product now that the mantle was full of things surrounding the candle, your heart full as you read the etching on the candle stand.

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive.

[biahouse]

Important, Gregory House x Reader

(This is my first story on Tumblr, and also my first Gregory House story. English is not my language, technically all of this is Google translate, so I apologize for any mistakes. But I hope you like it, I have a lot of ideas about our crazy doctor)

You love House. He doesn't care about anyone, but he cares about you. That's something, right?

The first time you met Gregory House was at your job interview.

You knew House's fame in the medical field, so your dream was to work with him and learn about his somewhat orthodox methods.

What you didn't expect was to be completely enchanted by the man 15 years older than you. House was moody, irritating, stupid, arrogant. A card-carrying asshole.

But there was something that made you suspicious every time he entered the diagnostic room. However, you weren't the only one.

You were good at hiding your crush on House, but Cameron always let it be known how much he liked his boss and what deeply upset you.

You were nothing compared to Alisson Cameron. Cameron was beautiful, kind, hardworking, confident. Everything you could never be, even if you tried hard.

That's why you shelved your feelings, buried them at the bottom of your chest and tried to hide as much as you could.

3 years have passed since you joined the team, and now with the departure of Chase, Cameron and Foreman, you were the only original member and House became more and more dependent on you. You have now done the work of four people.

And like a good doctor, you did your best to treat every patient who arrived at the department in the best way possible. But it was exhausting you.

The dark circles became increasingly prominent. You were sure you had lost 2kg in that week alone, since you didn't have time to eat and your hair fell out more and more every time you combed your hair.

But it was three weeks after you were working almost alone in the diagnostics department that your body reached its limit.

House and you were discussing what could be ailing an elderly man when he came up with a really interesting theory.

As always, you were sent to do tons of tests, but the moment you got up from the chair, your entire body lost consciousness.

“House” you mumbled the man’s name as you felt your entire vision blur.

"Yes?" The man responded, distractedly analyzing the symptoms chart.

"I think I'm going to pass out" was the last thing that came out of his mouth before the world went black.

•••

You heard the machine beep before your eyes could discover the place around you. It was hard to open your eyes, the bright lights of the hospital room shining brightly into your eyes.

You could feel your throat dry, and the various threads clinging to your body. It was uncomfortable and you tried to adjust yourself on the hard bed.

"I wouldn't move if I were you" House's unmistakable voice sounded in the room and his gaze shifted to the man lying on the bedroom sofa. "Welcome to the world of the living"

“Hi,” your voice sounded hoarse and you coughed, feeling your throat raw.

"Here" House stood up at an impressive speed and handed him a glass of water with a straw. You sipped the liquid with relief, your throat feeling better within seconds.

"How long was I gone?"

"2 days" House limped so he could check his devices. "You were exhausted, dehydrated and malnourished. New diet?" The man joked.

"The patient..." You started to get worried about the man they were treating.

"You're impressive" House looked at you curiously. "I tell you she's a living dead woman and you care about the patient."

“I’m fine” You waved your hand at him.

"It's not what your scans say" He shook the folder in his possession. "Why didn't you tell me that you couldn't do everything alone?"

“Because I can do it” You insisted.

"You're going to have a week off, until you can recover. In that time, I'm going to review some resumes, you need help" House said once again looking deeply at you.

"Why? You don't want new people on the team, you hate change" you tried to argue, knowing what the man was like.

"But I care about you. I think that's more important than my distaste for people" His admission scared both of you, but neither would admit it."Rest, I'll be back in a bit, with something called food"

And with that he left the room. Leaving behind your flushed face and your racing heart.

[two-white-butterflies]

invisible string | m33 | part four

Description: You and Max finally get together. Someone makes him jealous.

Pairing: max verstappen/racer!reader

part two | part three

itsmee_yn: gorgtastic sleepover with mrs. wolff 💚

912 comments 923,283 likes

ingridwolff: is that my mom? 😭 - itsmee_yn: she's my mom now

archiesantosa21: the mercedes girls back with each other OMG

lewiswolff89: BABE WAKE UP L/N-WOLFF PICTURES JUST DROPPED......

lewishamilton: I hope Toto knows that you're using his house. - itsmee_yn: toto doesn't have instagram now, does he?

Max couldn't believe that you chose to spend time with him. He's always admired you - even when you were little kids. Even though his father wouldn't stop comparing him to you - he didn't hate you. Instead, he chose to believe that you were a creature of the gods.

Something perfect and talented.

"I'll be back with Prema next week." you stared deep into his eyes, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake before releasing a sigh. The premise of being unemployed was amazing, having financial freedom was also amazing. Thanks to your skill in buying and selling land, you didn't need to work for the next decades.

But work was life.

You couldn't live without work - and thus, you'd be spending less time with your best friend. Heck, you didn't even know if you were allowed to call Max that. You were best friends but you knew deep inside that you could be more than that.

"I'll miss you," he mumbled while playing with the sand. "I'll miss you too," you replied even when your heart was saying: I love you.

"It'll probably be a while until we see each other again. I need to focus on our talents actually," you smiled softly - knowing that the drivers that you mentored had potential in making it to Formula One. "Don't tell them our tricks, I don't want anyone beating me." he humored.

You laid on the cloth-covered sand, feeling the heat radiate throughout your body. "Idiot," you mumbled while closing your eyes. You could feel him slowly lay down beside you.

"Do you ever think about getting married?" he pondered.

Your eyes opened wide.

That was the moment you knew - he loved you.

itsmee_yn: lord ur making it too obvious that i'm one of your favorites. with @maxverstappen1

128 comments 1,201,239 likes

maxverstappen1: ❤️

lewishamilton: God doesn't have an instagram. fyi 😁 - itsmee_yn: satan does and he's replying to me rn - - lewishamilton: 😅

danielricciardo: Y/N manifested this, and I'm a witness.

badgalriri: I love this.

kimimatiasraikkonen: congratulations 👍🏻

maxverstappen1: exposing my good luck charm.

912 comments 1,291,123 likes

danielricciardo: ugly

itsmee_yn: ❤️

landonorris: there's kids on this app. - itsmee_yn: no one asked - - maxverstappen1: man fuck them kids 🤣

(FOUR YEARS LATER)

Y/N's Story

caption: he's stressed ladies and gentlemen.

replies landonorris: take care of your kids pookie itsmee_yn: I AM landonorris: you making max work itsmee_yn: as he should

maxverstappen1: emillia and papa swimming 🌊

128 comments 812,128 likes

danielricciardo: EMILLIA IS ADORABLE

lewishamilton: proud godfather, present! - hasduhu19: Lewis only comments this way on Y/N and Max's accoutns it's adowable 😭

itsmee_yn: Carlton hates water lowkey - maxverstappen1: probably because his mom doesn't take a bath - - itsmee_yn: slandering ur wife in public is a federal offense

ynprivateaccount: will serve, will kneel, will kadoodle 24/7 with only peeing as rest 😭

badgalriri: Y/N WHAT IS THIS? - ynprivateaccount: remind me to delete this account when emillia turns 10 😭

(MONACO, FOUR SEASONS HOTEL)

itsmee_yn: poolside in monaco 🇲🇨 photo credits: @maxverstappen1

119 comments 1,291,120 likes

alano129: MOM? adopt me pls

ynuniverse: you age backwards 😭

Being the mother of two kids was hard work. It didn't help with the fact that they both had mischievous personalities.

Emillia was curious about everything - always poking things that she shouldn't be touching, while Carlton wanted to taste every solid food in existence. You had no idea how the family processed.

But thank god that you were still alive.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the pool?" Lewis asked, exiting his hotel room with Roscoe trailing behind him. "Yeah but I forgot to bring the kids' towels," you smiled, placing the keycard inside your bag. "It's been forever since I've seen Roscoe," you cooed at the dog.

"You look like him in a certain angle," he teased earning an eye-roll.

"Keep lying to yourself, Hamilton."

"Don't go to the deep parts," you warned Emillia, settling the towels on the poolside bed. "Don't worry, I have it handled." Max comforted - knowing that you get paranoid around the water. You smile softly, laying on the chair and allowing the sun to tan you slightly.

You've heard stories about husbands being a nightmare after kids - but Max was a dream come true. He respected your decisions, he did things without asking - and he provided more than the bare minimum. Gods, you'd give everything to marry him again and again.

"Is it your first time in Monaco?" a man suddenly clears his throat from beside you - prompting you to remove your sunglasses. "Well, not really." you answered plainly - not trying to make an enemy of the guy but still making it clear that you weren't interested.

"How many times have you been?" he sat on the chair beside you. "A few times," you answered while popping your sunglasses back in. He looked like young - in his early twenties, so he was probably an aspiring driver attempting to network his way inside Prema Racing. "For racing, or do you watch?" he inquired again.

Did he not recognize you? Shit, you felt like one of those American influencers that everyone ignores. You saw it coming anyways, it's almost been a decade since you've been inside the tracks. "I watch sometimes," your lips pressed into a thin line and he began to take his mobile phone out.

"I-I'm sorry if I sound creepy, but I think that you're pretty and I'd love to have your number." he stuttered softly and you took of your glasses again. "That's nice, but I'm married. What's your name anyways?" you tried to sweeten the situation but by this point - his face was entirely covered in a red blush.

"I'm sorry, I'm gonna go now." he sprinted away from you.

itsmee_yn: monaco, you are kind. 🇲🇨

921 comments 1,129,120 likes

lewishamilton: Carlton is the cutest

landonorris: The Verstappen genes are too strong. - maxverstappen1: 💪🏽

badgalriri: 3rd slide 😳

"- and the guy comes to her and asks for her number." Hamilton finishes telling the story and Norris bursts out laughing. "Looks like Max has some competition," he began to tease his friend.

"Don't think that he's the only one - because I saw those moms eyeing him in the pool." you pointed out, defending your husband's honor before any of the drivers have a chance to poke fun at him. "I never thought I'd see the day when you'd become a cougar, Y/N." Daniel giggled - while you flashed him your middle finger.

maxverstappen1: never forgetting this

129 comments 1,291,102 likes

itsmee_yn: how does it feel to live for the sole purpose of bullying me? - maxverstappen1: i'm fine hbu?

danielricciardo: SOMEONE STOP ME - maxverstappen1: No thanks. 💪🏽

lewishamilton: fuck, boys. 😜 - itsmee_yn: i'm a mother now, lewis. :(( - - landonorris: i'm not so fuck boyz 🥵

victoriaverstappen: I met Y/N and Carlton today. (Emillia did not want to take a picture) ❤️

128 comments 129,912

maxuniverse123: DEAR LORD THE CHILD LOOKS LIKE MAX

itsmee_yn: would love to have you anytime vic <3

ynandmaxverstappen: the way that she had to note that emillia didn't want to take a picture because of the haters

maxverstappen1: 💪🏽❤️

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 @milaeth @msliz @lifesuckslife @ellamae021 @1-800-simpingcowbaby @trashcanrat @ccallistata @shouq @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @georgeparisole @allenajade-ite @eternalharry @messwithtess21 @benbarneslut @withyoutilltheendofthismess @omgsuperstarg @stillbreathinq @mishaandthebrits @lemonsinpanic @styles-sunflower @cassiesworldsworld @1655-1485 @hachrinnen @luanasrta @fdl305 @reidsworld @sarahedwards16 @peargasleeeee @imsorare @sinofwriting @cassiesworldsworld @bibissparkles @larastark3107

[jeansplaytoy]

Complaining - Ony. 2

<<part one part three>>

you and ony broke up two weeks ago because he cheated on you.

language, ymir bein a lil lesbian stud :), sexual references, mentions of cheating.

“y/n? oh, cheated on her.”

“ony? that nigga a lame.”

that’s the way you talked about each other. did you mean it? kind of… sometimes. but other times you just wanted to know why he did what he did, like what other bitch could be any better than you?

and him on the other hand, deep down, he wished you would get with another nigga. you can flirt, talk, do anything you wanted, but he knew the minute you got into a relationship, it was gonna be over by the end of the week.

or that’s what normally happened.

you’d end things right then and there with ony and he’d end up back with you two seconds later. you don’t know if it was because he was manipulating or gaslighting you, or if it was just because you were too dumb to realize that the same things were gonna keep happening, and there was no way you were gonna just end it like that.

but apparently, he had a new girlfriend. and you had no one.

that wasn’t a bad thing though, not in your mind. because at the end of the day, he wouldn’t find anyone else better than you.

“look at they miserable asses. acting like they the power couple of the century.” you mumbled while sitting beside mikasa with your feet hanging in the pool. mikasa pulled her shades up and raised her eyebrows. “girl they look so fucking stupid.” she whispered and looked at you. “you really think he hitting that poor shit every night?” she frowned.

“i don’t know but her shit ain’t wetter than mines.” you grinned a little at your own joke. mikasa laughed. “he really got with the girl he cheated on you with. what dumbass boy does that shit?” she shook her head.

“one named ony. i bet she think she got one up on me the way she be giving me stares and shit.” you said, looking back into the pool where everyone splashed and swam.

“oh yeah she definitely don’t like yo ass.” mikasa said, softly kicking her feel in the blue, glowing water. “but at the same time, who the fuck cares?” she laughed with you.

it was obvious ony talked about you to her, the way she would post on her instagram stories about how ‘i’m better than his last😘’ and ‘feel bad for who he dated before me, this mf really fun.’ not to mention the way she talked about you when you went through those messages two weeks ago. you should’ve found her ass at that exact moment.

but with some help from ya home girl, ymir, you found her insta real quick. turns out she was already following you, you just ain’t follow her back.

you stood up, tapping mikasas shoulder. “i wanna smoke some weed.” you said. mikasa nodded and followed you inside the house. “where is this woman?” you squinted while trying to make your way through everyone. you went over to the second living room of the house and saw ymir, slouched on the couch, with a freshly rolled joint in her hand.

you smiled, grabbing mikasas hand and leading her over. “there go yo man.” you smiled while pointing at jean. mikasa rolled her eyes and walked over to the couch across from the one you were gonna sit at, to sit beside jean.

“heyyy ymir.” you nudged ymir’s head a little before sitting on her lap. she wore a black shirt with grey sweatpants, eyes traveling down your body before she looked back up at you.

“y/n, i just rolled this shit.” she said. you held your index and thumb finger up, waiting for her to pass the blunt to you. and she did. “and why you always sitting on me?” she frowned, sitting up a little. “cus you gay as hell, and i am too.” you joked, taking a hit of her blunt and exhaling.

you and ymir didn’t completely have feelings for each other, not literally. but you’d flirt with her from time to time just as she did with you. it was really a normal thing for you to be all up on her anywhere you went, unless you were in a relationship, she’d have to keep her hands off of you because she didn’t wanna have to beat a boys ass just because she was touchy with you. it was just a fun little thing you did.

but she put her hand around your waist, moving you off of her lap and beside her instead, keeping her hand where it was.

“you and ony talkin again?” she asked, waiting for you to pass her back what she rolled up. “hell no, cus he got a girlfriend.” you said. “say on god.” connie said from behind you with a towel hanging off his shoulder. “i don’t put things on god connie. you his bestfriend, i thought you knew.” you said, giving ymir her blunt back.

“he ain’t tell me shit.” connie shook his head, drinking from a cup he had. “bro why y’all gotta be so gay all the time?” jean squinted at you and ymir. “it ain’t like we actually like each other jean. we just be playing.” you mumbled, adjusting your bikini a little.

“we gon move on from the fact that he got wit’ another girl right after y’all broke up?” ymir said while staring at her phone that was practically in your lap, because her arm was still around you.

“naw, it’s good. he can keep that girl.” you laughed a little while shaking your head. “what girl?” eren frowned, walking up to the group. to your surprise, ony wasn’t too far behind him. when eren looked at you, he glanced back at them before making an ‘o’ with his lips. “ohhh.” he whispered before sitting down.

“hey.” onys girlfriend waved at everyone. almost everyone stared at her except for connie and jean who thought it would at least be polite.

“you his girlfriend?” connie frowned and tilted his head a little. “onys? yeah.” she smiled and nodded. connie hummed and nodded. “that’s cool, thats cool.” he mumbled, clearing his throat before looking at jean.

you could tell jean wanted to laugh, which made you, mikasa, and ymir wanna laugh. but you being you, slipped up a little, letting out a soft chuckle.

the girl looked at you with raised eyebrows and resting eyes. “hm?” she hummed in question. you looked at her. “what? oh, nothing.” you said before looking at ony who stared at you. you could tell he was pissed off at the way you were acting already, but he faintly laughed before sitting his girlfriend down.

“i’ll be back, left sum upstairs earlier.”

you knew he was lying like a bitch. that’s why you waited about three minutes after he left to act like you had to pee.

you made your way upstairs, glancing back to gain an odd stare from his girlfriend. you stared back before walking through the second floor, finding where he went.

opening every unlocked door, regretting some of them before you finally found him, with another girl. “damn, and you got a whole female downstairs that she don’t even know about.” you said while standing by the doorway. he pushed the girl off of his lap and led her towards the door.

“hold up.” he mumbled to her before dragging you in the room. you stopped and looked back at him with a frown.

“what the fuck is wrong wit’cho ass?” he squinted while closing the door. “what’s wrong wit me, nigga what’s wrong wit you? yo ass brought this random bitch around the group and don’t nobody like her.” you pointed towards the door to signal that you were talking exactly about his new girl.

“nah, ain’t nobody got a problem with nothing but you.” ony frowned at you.

“maybe if you kept yo eyes off of me so much, you’d see the way the rest of the group was looking at her. now ion know what you thought you did when you went to her and cheated on me, but nigga you downgraded. hella bad.” you said before pushing past him and making your way out the door.

ony stared at you as you left, eyes forcing themselves down your body. holding his stare on the way your thighs and ass moved when you walked, he rolled his eyes, dragging his hands down his face.

“fuckkk.” he whispered.

this was so lame 🙄🙄🙄 anyways i hope u liked it, posted it early just for u!

[ninapi]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝

Premise: Days in the life of the Shinazugawa household, based on my previous story (link here).

Word Count: 3263

Note: This was requested by the lovely @yourlocalangie, “little family moments in the shinazugawa household with the reader and their children.” 🫶🏻

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A typical day in the Shinazugawa household started very early in the morning. Even before the sun got a chance to go out, Sanemi, his wife and the children would be on their way down the mountain with a cart full of goodies.

Over the years the farm had grown quite a bit.

Mia and her husband had babies and now your chicken coop is full to the brim with lovely birds and delicious eggs for your family and the towns people.

The milk from your farm was considered the hottest item in the market, getting a consistent queue of customers since very early in the morning, creating a high demand.

After an intense morning of sales, the Shinazugawa family heads back to their farm for a well deserved home cooked meal.

The afternoons were particularly busy, since they would all go to the market together, the rest of the work had to be done after lunch.

"Sanehiko, you're on milk duty, make sure they at least fill two of the big jugs."

"On it father." Sanehiko, the eldest of the lot was the most invested in the family business. He learned from his mother from a very young age how to tend the animals and get the milk from the cows, being the best at it in the family. He thoroughly enjoys working on the fields as well, always looking for a way to help with the crops and making sure everything was in order, out of all of them he was the most responsible and down to earth, being the eldest had a big impact in his way of living, much like young Sanemi he is constantly thinking of the wellbeing of his family and does his best to support his parents.

"Genma, you're in charge of picking the best tomatoes to sell tomorrow. Water your mother's herbs when you're done."

"Yes father!" Genma was the sweetest of them all, always wanting to please his mother and father alike. Sanemi was forever jealous at the fact that he was a momma's boy, he reminds him so much of Genya he wishes he would look up to him the way his brother used to do, but his mother is softer and prettier, of course anyone would choose her instead, he would do too.

"Remi, help your mother separate the black from the red berries and put them in the different baskets. If you behave, I might show you the third form." His only daughter was the closest to him, she inherited his spirit and even if she's not even three yet she begs her father to teach her his wind breathing techniques, days he decides to indulge her even the tiniest bit are the happiest around the house.

"(Y/N) you concentrate on the marmalade and watching Senri, I'll take care of the rest there is to do around in the fields and pick up the eggs." reaching over for your husband, you placed a soft kiss to his lips, nodding at his instructions. You were still very much pregnant and doing more than that would be harsh on your body. Patting your bum lovingly, he rolled his sleeves up and headed back to work.

"Mma this!" Remi was diligently following her father's instructions, pulling a berry that wasn’t ripe out and showing it to you in her tiny hand. "Good eye, baby. Let's put those a side ok? We don't want the marmalade to be sour." happily she set it on a plate and continued with her designated job.

No day was the same. Having a farm gave the kids the opportunity to be active and learn from their parents skills that would be useful in the future. Sanemi made sure to rotate them around the tasks, he wanted his children to grow as strong as he was and as smart as their mother, he wanted nothing but the best for them.

By the end of the day they were all tired and ready for bed as early as the sun would set that day.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sundays were off. It didn't matter how much work was pending in the farm, how many eggs the chickens lay that morning, how much money they made that week, nothing mattered. Days off were important for the Shinazugawas.

Sanemi didn't get much time to lay around with his youngest since he is always so busy, but Sundays were normally deemed 'Senri day'.

Today though, he had slightly different plans.

You just finished bathing Remi and Senri when you heard Genma squealing like a little piglet.

"Genma get your ass here right now!"

Your husband sounded pissed. He rarely yells at the children, no matter how angry he was.

"Mother!!! Help me!! Father has gone crazy!! MOTHER!!!" his cries for help made you run outside your house, just to see your husband chasing your child around the fields with a sharp knife in his hand.

"Shinazugawa Sanemi. What on earth are you doing?" the child crashed against your leg, hiding behind it. If there was someone who could save him, that would be you.

"Tch." he was forced to stop running by your deep angry mother glare, "I just wanted to give him a haircut, love. Don't know why he's running away like a freak. Did you see him run? How is he faster than me? He's five, this makes no sense."

The four Shinazugawa children took after their father in their physical strengths. Sanehiko could lift a grown pig up since he was four. Genma had super speed, apparently. Remi had his blood thirst and Senri broke Sanehiko's finger when he was just three months old.

You brought Genma up into your arms, looking into his terrified eyes. "What's wrong, baby? Why aren't you letting your father cut your hair? You can't even see of how long it is."

"He....wanted to shave the sides of my head...." the child buried his face on your chest seeking for comfort, this always irritated Sanemi. He understands he is still young and that’s completely normal, but nobody but him and maybe Senri should be allowed to do that. Being jealous of his own children was a new low for the pillar.

"Stop being such a cry baby. I will do it whether you want it or not, I'm your father I do whatever the hell I want."

"Seems like you enjoyed sleeping out by the kitchen, darling." all trace of color drained from Sanemi's face instantly.

"B-babe....let's talk this out, ok? I just wanted to give him a haircut, you know he needs one." and he did, but you didn't like the way he was speaking to the child.

"Why are you shaving his head though? He looks so cute with his long hair." you were peppering soft kisses all over his little face, making him giggle.

By now Sanemi was sitting on the floor beside you, heaving out a long defeated sigh. "My brother...he had his hair like that. I guess I miss him."

"Oh my love...." setting your child down, you embraced your crestfallen husband, kissing the side of his face. "I know you see your brother in Genma, but you gotta remember he's your son and he is just five. Running after him with a knife in your hand isn't considered bonding."

"Father. It’s ok, you can shave my head. I don't like that sad face you're making." he brought Genma into a strong embrace and you all remained like that for a while. He missed Genya dearly, but having you around was more than he deserved.

"Remi too, Remi too!!!" your little girl jumped on Sanemi's back, nuzzling his neck with her little nose.

Sanehiko was holding Senri, confused by the knot of people before him. "What's going on?"

"Just come here, dammit." he settled for leaving Senri in your arms and gently nestle himself on your side, one of his hands holding one of his father's.

The Shinazugawa household was warm and full of understanding.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After a well deserved break, your husband was now getting into your shared futon ready for a good night sleep.

He loved caressing your enlarged belly, there was nothing he enjoyed more than seeing you carrying his babies, knowing you had a part of him inside of you. He would always fall asleep while tracing patterns on your tummy, face pressed on the side of your neck.

Maybe it was the emotional afternoon your family had, maybe it was the long walk up the hill from the day before. The reason was unknown to you but a sharp pain on your lower half alerted your sleepy husband.

“(Y/N) what’s wrong?”

“Is coming Nemi.” as if on cue, your water broke all over your freshly laundered covers.

“What do you mean is coming? Isn’t it too early? Fuck, what do we do now? Can you wait until I go call the midwife?” he already knew the answer to that question, your body was moving on its own into a good position to deliver the baby.

“Can’t do. We gotta do this on our own, I’ve done it four times already and you’ve been there for every single one of them, we know what to do.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind (Y/N)? What if there’s complications? Senri gave you a hard time.” he was panicking now, removing the covers completely to give you more space, “Hell, you haven’t even finished waving the basket, where is the baby going to sleep?”

“SANEHIKO.” the contractions were heavy, painful, one right after the other, you needed a cool headed person around while your husband hyperventilated in a corner of the room.

“Yes, mother?” the child had already gone to bed, but was still awake thankfully, coming to your aid instantly.

“The baby is coming my love, you know what to do right?” the child nodded making his way over to the kitchen, returning not long after with clean cloths and water.

“Take Senri, we need his basket. Remember, don’t come out of the room until I go look for you, no matter what you hear. This goes for the rest of the gang too, keep an eye on all of them.” Sanemi’s anxiety driven self was finally grasping reality, just in time.

It was now just the two of you in your room. The same room you and your brother were born in, the same room where your four children came to this world. “We can do this, love.” Sanemi held your hand as tight as he could getting in between your legs as you started pushing your fifth child out. Thankfully there were no complications, the child came out fast and with minimal effort, more than ready to come out and meet her family.

Sanemi was ecstatic when he saw his baby girl for the first time as the adrenaline rush was finally settling down. He somehow thought he’d have another boy; it was a pleasant surprise. He was so into it that even forgot he had to clip the cord, almost dragging you out with him when he pulled the baby close to his chest. She looked just like you, his beautiful little treasure.

After cleaning you and the baby, Sanemi set the child on his son’s basket, wrapped into a little cocoon where she slept peacefully tired of the whole adventure.

“How are you feeling, baby? You did such a good job. You’re a pro at this now you have my respect I could never do that, specially not now that I saw it so up close, that shit's not for the weak. I knew I picked the right wife.” this made you giggle, pulling your husband in for cuddles. You probably needed space but all you wanted was to be in his arms.

“I feel less heavy. A bit sore though.” he was rubbing circles onto the side of your hip trying his best to relieve the pain even if it was just a little.

“Do you want me to call the kids in? I can take Sae to them so you can rest some more.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can handle Remi jumping on me right now.” you both chuckled, staring dreamily into each other’s eyes.

The children were overwhelmed with how cute their little sister was, Genma was particularly over the moon as he wasn’t the only one with dark hair any longer.

Sanemi explained to the kids that their mother needed to rest just like when Senri was born, they needed to behave, be gentle and stay out of troubles. But even after his father’s speech, Genma managed to sneak out of the room quietly and was now kneeling by your side.

“Mother, is your belly ok? Do you need belly rubs?” his sweet little voice was music to your ears, his gentle nature was truly a gift.

“I would love that, sweetie. But does your father know you’re here?” the child swallowed hard seemingly nervous but opted for ignoring the question and go straight to work, gently massaging your sore belly. “I will go to bed in a bit, just thought you might need belly rubs.” he looked like a little delinquent now that his father styled his hair with such a fashion forward design, it was the cutest thing in this world.

“Thank you, baby. You’re the best.” sitting up slightly, you gave your toddler a good night kiss, sending him his way before anyone noticed.

Sanemi noticed of course, but he didn’t say anything, he knew his son, he was probably just making sure his mother was still alive after the deafening screams heard all over the house during the birthing process.

He took Sae back to your room, leaving Senri to share his eldest brother bedding arrangements for the night to give you some extra time to finish the second basket the next day.

Finally going back to your side, Sanemi nearly collapsed on top of you, proud of the evening accomplishments but as tired as one can be, it never even crossed his mind he would help deliver his own child, it was an insane experience. “So how does it feel being the father of five children?” teasing your man was fun, especially when he was this tired, he gets way softer.

“Makes me want to put another one inside of that delicious looking-“

“SANEMI!” he bursts out laughing, burying his face on your hair.

“Just saying... Feels pretty good though. You know I come from a very large family, it feels great having all this tiny loud brats running around, makes me feel complete. You’ve given me so much…”

You were dozing off on his chest, placing a kiss on it before closing your eyes, “I would give you the world, my love.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Being a parent to five children was not easy.

The age gap wasn’t as helpful now a days. When Genma was born Sanehiko was already old enough to understand what was happening. But having three children in a row was taking a toll both physically and mentally on you and your husband.

Remi was difficult to handle, always so full of energy. Senri was still just a little baby but was currently learning how to walk on his own, accidents following his every step. And Sae was milking the life out of you, her appetite was like no other.

You were tired and so was Sanemi.

Even the market stall had to go on a little break, this didn’t happen when Senri was born. He’s always been a quiet baby, would sleep most of his day. But Sae was always hungry and would constantly ask to be fed.

Sanehiko was deemed Senri’s guardian, while Sanemi held onto Remi for dear life majority of the day. The farm still needed to be tended to and you would have to go back to the market soon or the goods would be lost. Genma was tasked as your moral support or how Sanemi liked to call it ‘your servant’, he was in charge of making sure his mother had everything she needed, so he would go on fluffing your pillow every few minutes, bring you water, rub your belly, help you hold his sister while you changed her. He was a big help regardless of what the others said.

“Nii-nii look.” Remi would run over to the house to show her brother the vegetables she picked, the bugs she found, she even brought an egg, her hair littered with feathers making you giggle at the mental image of your husband trying to catch his daughter and chase her out of the coop. She’s always been given easy tasks as she’s still very little, but she was now helping her father with the farm, it made her feel important.

Genma knew she was taunting him, but he was where he wanted to be, there was nothing he’d rather do than to help his mother and new sister to be comfortable and well, he was a man now, the Shinazugawa are strong, he got this under control.

You were dozing off while feeding your daughter, Genma already snoozing on your lap, when you heard tiny feet running in your direction. You could see Remi on Sanemi’s shoulders picking corn in the fields from the window, this could only mean one thing.

“Senri, is that you?” a tiny hand was holding onto the doorframe, supporting his own weight. His brother was supposed to be watching him, but your children all take after their father, you knew Sanehiko wasn’t at fault, it was most likely Senri who sneaked out.

“Come here, my love.” he lets go of the door stumbling clumsily into your arms, “Did you miss me? I sure miss you, my baby boy. It's time for your nap, isn’t it?” he was climbing onto you, stepping on Genma’s hand in the process but very diligently skipping over his newborn sister as if afraid of hurting her.

In under a minute, you could hear your restless son lifting things around the house, scrambling in fear. “Sanehiko, he’s here baby.” a tuft of white hair was now peaking from outside the window, he didn’t want his parents to notice he lost a brother but got caught regardless. He was panting, face covered in sweat, “He disappeared so quickly mother, I swear I just looked to the side for a second and he was gone.”

“I know sweetie, I know. Why don’t you come here and rest with us for a while? We all need a nap.” That was a tempting offering, he was tired that was a fact. Having to look after his little brother, while being constantly awoken at night by a crying baby was a bit too much for a nine-year-old. He nestled on your side, giving you some extra support on the arm that was holding your daughter. Quickly falling asleep like the rest of the gang, face comfortably pressed on your shoulder.

Sanemi had picked up some of your lavender for tea, hopefully that would get you to sleep better. He was about to announce his plan when he saw more than half of his family sprawled on the floor, enjoying an afternoon nap, the sun beams coming through the window were shinning on the beautiful face of his darling wife the love of his life, and his offspring.

His youngest toddler was dozing off on his head, her arms now dangling to the sides of his face. Seems like everyone had the same idea.

He put her down on her eldest brother lap, and she curled on your side immediately, holding Sanehiko’s arm like a pillow. Sanemi went on your other side, cradling you, Genma, and Senri to his chest, letting out a content sigh out and kissing your forehead softly trying not to wake you up.

His life could be chaotic and had been quite challenging over the years, but once he found his happy place, he wouldn’t trade it for anything in this universe, and that was you.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Tagged babes: @doumadono

Master list Next Chapter

[lopposting]

guys.

I think I did it.

I think I cracked Lies of P.

(me rn)

i keep going back and forth on carlo's death.

i know i was adamant before, on him dying from the petrification disease. i think logically he would have to have had it because of ergo.

but here's another weird point about his death,

i just realized why we intrinsically think he was killed.

Carlo is wearing his school uniform when his stalker finds him, and on the floor at that. That's quite odd. Maybe not being on the floor, but the uniform. Why the uniform?

"He didn't even come to your graduation?"

For the son of an aristocratic family, would this be the image of a deathly ill son in care? Did Geppetto know? Wouldn't he be in palliative care, as Lady Antonia could afford?

Why wear the uniform after graduating?

"Oh, she's here! Grab her!"

"...Gemini, get rid of them! I'm off!"

Was his death literally right after his graduation, on the same day?

And also, Gemini is a little lamp guy. (She doesn't look to be carrying the lamp.) Why does she tell him to take care of the boys? What can he even do? Tell them off?

Here's another funny thing... We NEVER see Carlo outside of his school uniform. (at least, in the "past", "real" Carlo time line).

And as we know, the school uniform has a prominent Sailor collar, the type that is associated with nautical outfits [down to the three stripes, supposedly called a "naval collar"]. The Graduation pendant that he gives to Romeo is of an anchor. [I know that these are all artifacts of the charity house. but they are nonetheless associated in tangent with Carlo]

When we find Carlo's painting, it's right next to this one of a ship. [also, two bottles on the counter, perhaps representing the "two lives" of Carlo and Pino]

also... when Carlo's memories materialize... it's in the sand. Only on the seaside.

Remember, Romeo seems to be associated with a fire element, and Pino with water, the same seems to go with Carlo. The original novel of Pinocchio itself seems to have a strange fixation on the ocean.

And now, might I present to you:

The DLC images are also of a ship and some kind of water turbine.

Director Choi (in pre-release interview): "I'll put it this way: there are more stories I want to tell in Lies of P, so I hope [it] does well."

Also: "There sure are stories we could not introduce in the game" (talking about the story being adapted into another form)

[basically, that there was more to the story than what was really present in the final game.] I'll leave all this to your consideration without adding my own just yet. (I'll add it in a reblog on my own blog without tagging it) Just kidding I want to keep wasting everyone's time

Perhaps after the events of the game,

This is some sort of effort by Pino to either learn more about the deceased Carlo or try to remember his "previous life" as Carlo, by taking to the sea.

Maybe even after the game, Pino will STILL attempt to "awaken" as him so to speak [:(].

[Maybe he actually will.]

Again, Carlo is strongly associated with nautical elements. Again, he is never seen outside of a sailor suit, basically. Also, when we gain the memories of Carlo, they materialize on the sand, at the seaside. Remember, he DIED in the sailor outfit

Maybe we are to take the "sand memories" more "literally" as they are in the sand?

Did Carlo drown and his body wash ashore, which is why these memories materialize in the sand? Why is he so associated with ships?

Pino is also depicted in the water, remember, including what looks to be concept art that was used for the OST? Maybe it isn't "just" a motif? [even simple things like his "official" coat and his eyes being blue, blue blood's tailcoat, and him being associated with the colour blue in general]

Which is why Pino is pictured in the water, since he was "born" from Carlo's death... He was birthed in the water the same way Carlo died in it?

[more notes in reblog]

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS アニメ公式ノベライズ Official Novelization ☽ Chapter 1 Translation

[…] ☽ [Next chapter]

Hello everyone! It's been a while. I went back to Japan for the first time in ages last month and immediately fell back down the Diabolik Lovers rabbit hole when I went to the Rejet shop...

I recently found this so-called 'anime novelization' on eBay, and thought it might be fun to use it to get back into translating. This book was released as a novel counterpart to the first season of the Diabolik Lovers anime, thus following the storyline of the anime rather than the visual novels (almost to a T).

Please let me know if you like reading these and want me to translate more of it! I'm not exactly sure how active the fandom is anymore, so I think I'll just test the waters with a couple of chapters and see if it'll be fun to translate the entire book. Who knows!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Originally written by Yukuzuki Hiroha 結来月ひろは Translated from the Japanese by @otomehonyaku

STORY Following her father’s job transfer, Komori Yui is sent to live with the Sakamaki brothers. However, these six brothers turn out to be sadistic, ill-tempered vampires. The men are after Yui’s sweet and incredibly rare blood, and go to great lengths toying with her body and soul to get it. Before long, Yui finds herself trapped in an alluringly dangerous love game(1)...

1. 吸血愛戯 (ラブゲーム): Stylised as ‘love game’ but written with the characters for bloodsucking (吸血), love (愛), and play (戯). The latter character also has a connotation of playfulness/mischief.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

DISCLAIMER This is an unofficial translation intended for those interested in reading the story of the Diabolik Lovers game/season in a slightly more literary format in English. I have no affiliation with Rejet or Frontier Works whatsoever. All rights belong to them, but PLEASE DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE OR TRANSLATE TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

Now that that’s out of the way—have fun reading! ❤️

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Episode 1

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

That day, like any other day, the sky was aglow with twilight. In the quiet forest, which was dimly lit by the evening sun, the sound of a car engine pierced the air. It was a taxi, driving alone on the narrow forest path.

What a pretty sky… Komori Yui thought as she gazed at the sky from the backseat of the taxi.

Yui was an ordinary second-year high school student. She lived with her father, who was a priest, before he had to relocate for work. Yui was sent to live with the Sakamaki family, who were acquaintances of her father's, and so she was currently on her way to her new home.

A lake came into view from the taxi window. The setting sun glittered off the surface of the lake. The wind, carrying the scent of the forest, rustled Yui’s hair when she opened the car window. She spotted a large mansion nestled between the trees through the window on the opposite side.

So that’s where I’ll be living from now on… 

The closer the taxi got to the mansion, the wider the girl’s eyes became. Aside from what looked to be the main building, which was built around a courtyard, there were even several auxiliary buildings and a gazebo on the property.

I’ve never even seen a mansion this big before.

Before long, the taxi stopped before a gate that was large enough for two cars to easily pass through at the same time.

“Thank you,” Yui said to the driver and stepped out of the car. The taxi returned into the direction from which they had come.

Yui took her suitcase and looked up at the large, Western-style building beyond the gate. It was a three-storey brick building that might as well have belonged to a family of European aristocrats. Briefly taken aback by the view in front of her, Yui opened the gate and went into the courtyard.

“Wow… I never thought it would be such an elegant house.”

Pulling her suitcase behind her and eying her surroundings with astonishment, Yui made her way to the front door. The entrance was still quite a ways away from where she was, and Yui couldn't quite make it there as she kept falling from one surprise into another.

There’s even a fountain!

The stone statue of a gargoyle was perched on top of the fountain and looked down at her. Yui wondered briefly whether this was the personal taste of the mansion’s owner. As she passed by the fountain, the shadows of raindrops started to appear on the stone tiles underneath her feet.

“Rain?!” Caught off-guard, Yui looked up. 

The sky that had been so clear earlier was now black with rain clouds. Just as Yui thought she'd seen a flash of lightning pierce the dark sky, a loud clap of thunder rumbled through the air. Startled by the thunder, she let out a small cry.

“Oh no, even thunder…” Yui clumsily hurried in the direction of the front door. The rain began pouring down the moment she reached it.

Thank God I didn't end up soaked. It wouldn't be appropriate to show up at your new host family’s doorstep drenched to the skin with rain, after all.

Yui faced the door. It was huge and covered in decorative engraving, and she used the ancient-looking door knocker to announce her arrival. The sound of the cold, iron knocker reverberated through the mansion once, twice, but nobody came to answer.

“Excuse me!” Yui called, and extended a hand towards the door.

Before she could reach it, the door inched open by itself with a loud creaking sound.

“Ah!” 

Yui flinched backward in surprise. Out of curiosity, she gingerly peeked through the gap in the door. Nobody was there. Did that mean she was welcome to go inside?

As if she'd been invited in, Yui stepped inside, and the door immediately slammed shut behind her.

Once inside, the first thing that greeted her was a lavish entrance hall lit by a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Still, the entrance hall somehow looked quite gloomy, stretching out far into the shadows on either side of her.

“Um… Is anybody there?” Yui ventured once more, her voice echoing off the high ceiling. 

“How strange. I wonder if they didn't know I would be coming today,” Yui muttered to herself as she paced through the hall. When she stepped onto the red carpet spread out on the floor, a large staircase came into view. She paused before the stairs, only barely visible under the dim light of the chandelier as she called out again, “Excuse me!”

Once more, her voice rang through the air to no avail. Nobody came.

What should I do?

She might have been looking for the master of the house, but that didn't mean she should feel free to snoop around in someone else's home. Yui was at a loss. She stood stock-still, trailing her eyes over her surroundings, and then she noticed something.

For a brief moment, a bolt of lightning outside cast a sliver of light on a sofa by the window. 

Wait, what was…

She only saw it for an instant, but Yui made her way over to the sofa. She saw a figure not unlike the shape of a boy laying on top of it. He seemed about the same age as her, and wore what looked to be a school uniform, but it was completely dishevelled. Under his head was a cushion, which he used as a pillow as he slept.

  What an odd place to sleep in… But I’m glad I managed to find someone.

The boy looked to be sleeping soundly when the lightning illuminated his face again. Even though Yui knew it would be rude to wake him up, she called out to him.

”Um… Excuse me.”

She reached out and touched the boy’s hand, but withdrew immediately.

“So cold!” 

The boy’s skin had been much colder than she’d expected. Regardless of how long he’d been sleeping on that couch, his body temperature shouldn’t have dropped that much.

He doesn’t even have a temperature to begin with…

“Are you okay?” 

Yui started panicking and held an ear to the boy’s chest, but the heartbeat she should have heard never came.

“His heart isn’t beating… Oh no, I have to call an ambulance!”

Yui pulled her phone out of the bag slung over her shoulder, and hurried to call the emergency number, but a hand shot out from beside her and swiftly took the phone right out of her hands.

“Ah!”

“…Shut the fuck up. Who do you think you are, walking into someone’s house yapping like that?”

The boy Yui had assumed had been dead suddenly stood up from the sofa, her phone in his hand, and shot her an irritated glare with his emerald eyes.

“Y-you’re alive?!” 

“What?”

The words had escaped Yui’s lips in an involuntary whisper, but the boy didn’t bother hiding his annoyance when he responded.

“Obviously. Who’d you think Yours Truly is?”

The boy responded like this was the most normal situation in the world, but it didn’t make sense to Yui at all.

What’s going on…?

Without realising it, Yui slowly started backing away from him. “But… Your heart wasn’t beating…” She was absolutely positive that she hadn’t heard a heartbeat.

And yet… Why did the boy in front of her look so calm and composed? 

A flash of blind panic urged Yui to make a run for it, but the boy caught her in his arms and pushed her onto her back on the sofa.

“Ah! What are you doing?!”

“What, isn’t it obvious? I’m gonna eat you up.” The boy’s face dipped in close, but bent down further to lick the nape of Yui’s neck.

What on Earth…

Yui’s mind reeled at the boy’s unexpected behaviour, and she yelped, but that only made her assailant’s face twist into an amused grin. He bent down again in an attempt to bite into her neck. 

“Ayato! What is this? Tone it down.”

The boy—Ayato, apparently—clicked his tongue and glared at the person standing next to the sofa. “Reiji.” 

The person Ayato referred to as Reiji was a highly strung-looking boy with glasses perched on his narrow nose. With his calm and polite demeanour and white gloves, he almost looked like a butler, but when Yui looked closely, he was wearing the same uniform as Ayato.

Reiji looked at Ayato over the rim of his glasses with an exasperated expression. “This is the entrance hall. A place where we welcome guests. Please take these sorts of activities to your own room.”

“Ugh, boring.” Ayato reluctantly sat up.

Did this boy just come to save me?

Yui flung herself off of the sofa and scurried to Reiji’s side. “P-please help me!”

He gave her a puzzled look when she called for help. “And you are?”

“Komori Yui. My father arranged for me to stay here.”

“I don’t recall hearing about that.”

After listening to Yui’s explanation, Reiji returned his attention to Ayato. “Ayato, will you explain what’s going on here?”

“What? Like hell I know,” Ayato answered gruffly, and swung a leg up onto the sofa. He looked directly at Yui. “Y’know, Pancake, you could’ve told me all of that earlier.”

“That’s because you attacked me all of a sudden.”

“Huh…”

Somewhat unsurprised that she wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation with the person who had just plainly assaulted her. Ayato turned away from her as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

What’s wrong with him? He’s been nothing but rude… Yui thought, and suddenly something occurred to her.

“Wait, you said Pancake… Did you mean me?”

“Of course, you idiot. You really that dense, Pancake?” Ayato cast her an amused sideways glance, clearly making fun of her. 

Next to Yui, who was still fuming at the rude nickname, Reiji crossed his arms in thought.

“Strange indeed. Nobody has reported this to me, either.” 

Then Yui must have come to the wrong mansion. But still, there aren’t any other houses around here.

“Ah, um, so you are…”

“Let’s not discuss this here. Please follow me. Your luggage will be taken care of.” Before Reiji had even finished talking, Yui noticed that a butler had appeared beside her suitcase. 

“Oh!” When did he get here?

The butler acknowledged Yui with a little nod and disappeared with her suitcase. What on Earth is going on in this mansion? A front door that opens by itself, and a butler that appears out of thin air, without a sound. And then there’s…

When Yui cast a glance toward Ayato, who was still sitting on the sofa, his eyes met hers with a disgruntled expression. Remembering what he had done to her earlier, Yui quickly looked away and followed Reiji instead.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Reiji led Yui into a spacious living room. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling gave off a dazzling light, and firewood was burning in the hearth.

“Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you.”

Yui did as he said and took a seat on the sofa.

“You too, Ayato. We cannot have a proper conversation if you do not.”

“Ugh. Fine.” 

She watched as Ayato took a seat next to her, and Reiji started to speak.

“Firstly, please do us the courtesy of explaining why you barged into our home without permission.”

“Ah, yes.” 

I didn’t really barge in here, though… However, to Reiji and the others, that’s what it must seem like. I should apologise and clear up the misunderstanding.

“Um…” Yui straightened her spine but was interrupted before she could speak.

“Oh, oh, oh! What’s this?” a voice laughed from above. When Yui looked up, she saw a boy peering down at her from the mezzanine. “To think such a cute girl would show up here!” He looked about the same age as Ayato, but wore a black hat on his head. His bright green eyes bore into Yui’s, making her a little nervous.

Has he been there the entire time? I couldn’t even tell. Just as she took in the strange circumstances, a tongue trailed over Yui’s left cheek.

“Ah!” 

Did someone just lick me? 

Touching her cheek in surprise, Yui looked to the side and was met with the boy who had just been on the mezzanine. What? How did he get over here so fast? Feeling as though she’d been pinched, she cast him an accusatory look.

“Hm… She smells so sweet.” 

When Yui pressed her back against the sofa to get away from the boy, another voice suddenly sounded from right behind her.

“Please let me have a taste, too.”

Someone licked her ear this time. Yui spun around and saw a purple-haired boy of small stature there. She cringed at the moist sound of his tongue, pressing a hand to her ear. 

“She tastes sweet, too.”

What on Earth is going on? The two boys looked entertained by Yui’s confusion. 

Reiji seemed unable to look on, and broke the silence. “You two. That is no way to treat a lady whom you have only just met.”

The boy with the hat whined in protest at Reiji’s reprimanding tone.

“Do you have anything to say, Laito?”

“Well, if something so delicious-looking is put in front of me, I just have to taste it. Right, Kanato?”

“Yeah,” the purple-haired boy replied with a nod.

“Fuck off, all of you!” Ayato wedged his way into the two boys’ conversation.

 “Yours Truly found this one, so I’ll be the one to take all of her firsts.”

“...Asshole.”

Ayato frowned at the source of yet another voice filled the living room.

“With your ‘Yours Truly, Yours Truly,’ just shut the fuck up already.”

“The fuck did you just say?” Ayato flung himself off the couch with unnecessary force, and looked around the room. “That’s Subaru, isn’t it? Show yourself, coward!” 

“I’m right here.” The sullen voice came from a boy leaning against the wall, presumably Subaru. The white shock of his hair, which covered his right eye, was a stark contrast with his red eyes, which leered at Yui. “I was just thinking it reeked of humans in here. So it’s you. How are you going to compensate for my lack of precious sleep?”

“W-where did you come from?”

“I asked first!” Subaru yelled in annoyance, and slammed a fist against the wall behind him. Cracks began to form in the wall from his fist outwards, sending plaster crumbling to the floor. He fixed his gaze on Yui, who was at a loss for words.

Seeing the dilapidated state of the wall, Reiji sighed heavily as he repositioned his glasses. He turned toward his brothers gathered in the living room.

“Are any of you listening? The lady will be living here from now on.” 

There was no response.

“Um, I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I’m sorry for troubling you. I’ll be on my way now.” Yui resolutely rose from the couch.

“Please wait.” Reiji’s voice made her freeze in place when she attempted to flee the living room, her eyes trained on the floor. “I am still confirming the facts. Do you not think it would be rude to leave now?”

“B-but…”

Reiji certainly had a point, but considering the mansion’s other inhabitants certainly weren’t intent on following his orders, Yui could not bear to be there much longer. They’re scaring me…

A new, listless voice came from the direction of the window.

“Are you the woman he told me about?” 

When Yui turned to look, she spotted another new face. The boy was spread out lazily on the sofa by the window. He wore the same school uniform as the others, but instead of a jacket, he wore a beige-coloured cardigan over his shirt. He appeared to be listening to music, as a pair of earphones plugged his ears.

There’s one more brother?

“Shuu, what do you know about her?”

“...Nothing much.” Shuu replied dismissively, his eyes closed. Could he hear Ayato even though he was wearing earphones? 

“Nonsense. Please elaborate,” Kanato urged.

Shuu reluctantly began speaking. “He… contacted me the other day. He told me we’d be receiving a guest from the church, and to ‘treat her kindly,’ ‘make her feel most welcome,’ all that.”

“The hell? You mean Pancake’s the Chosen Bride?” 

An involuntary noise slipped from Yui’s lips at Ayato’s remark. What does that even mean, the Chosen Bride? At the very least, she knew that her father, who had to move away for his job as a priest, had arranged for her to live here, but this was the first time she heard of this whole ordeal. However, contrary to Yui’s astonishment, the brothers listened to Shuu’s explanation rather calmly.

“Ah, I see.”

“A bride? Well, more like a living sacrifice, right?”

…Living sacrifice?

Yui was taken aback by Kanato and Laito’s exchange. 

Then, Shuu opened his eyes and spoke as if to deal the final blow. “Right, he also ordered us not to kill her, so…”

Not kill me? What the…?

“Huh… Well, then we’ll be enjoying her company for a long time.”

Meanwhile, Yui had frozen in place. 

Reiji ignored her shock as he called her to attention. “Wonderful. It appears that the issue has been cleared up. Then, let us properly introduce ourselves.” He first turned to Shuu. “That is the eldest brother, Sakamaki Shuu. I am the second son, Reiji.” He paused briefly before turning to Ayato and the others. “Those are the triplets. Ayato–”

“I won’t let you get away next time.”

“Kanato–”

“Please let me taste you again. Exciting, isn’t it, Teddy?” Teddy must be the name of the one-eyed bear Kanato was cradling in his arms. The boy tilted his head and giggled.

“And Laito–”

“Let’s have fun together, Bitchlet.” For such a crude name to call a woman, Laito was laughing as he said it.

“Lastly, that’s Subaru, the youngest brother.”

“Ugh, this shit sucks.” Subaru looked displeased at Yui’s presence, and turned away immediately.

Reiji had properly introduced all of the brothers to her, but still, she did not know how to make sense of everything they had said to her. “There must still be some kind of mistake. I haven’t heard anything about a bride…”

Something suddenly occurred to Yui, a peculiar thought poking at the back of her mind. Many strange things had happened to her since she’d arrived here, but the most unsettling thing of all…

“S-something’s… off about all of you…” Yui asked, her gaze gingerly shifting from brother to brother. All of their eyes were trained on her.

What on Earth…

Their cold, piercing gazes radiated danger, and Yui’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. I have to get out of here.

“I-I have to contact my father…”

Yui reached for the cell phone in her pocket, but, somehow it had ended up in Ayato’s hands again.

“Ah!” How did that happen? Never mind, this is not the time to think about that. “My phone! Give it back!”

“I dunno about that.” Ayato toyed with her phone, a sadistic smile forming on his face.

I won’t have any means to contact my father if I don’t have my cell phone…

“Give it back, please!” Yui tried to take the phone from him, but every time it seemed just within reach, Ayato dodged her. He seemed to be enjoying the look of despair on her face. He then tossed the phone to Subaru.

Just as she thought he would return it to her, Subaru’s expression changed to a look of disgust, and Yui knew immediately that he wasn’t going to.

“W-what are you doing?”

“This.”

With one swift movement, Subaru snapped the phone in two. 

There went Yui’s lifeline to her father. Why are they doing this? 

“This is cruel…”

“Shut up.”

Watching the tears forming in Yui’s eyes at the sight of her broken cell phone, Subaru shot her an irritated glare.

“Oh, Bitchlet, don’t be sad!” Laito said cheerfully and patted her shoulder as if to console her. “We’re going to get along great, so you won’t need your cell phone anyway. Okay?”

Before she had time to think about it, she had been sandwiched between Laito and Kanato.

“I’ve been so hungry.” 

Kanato edged closer to a now distraught Yui as he spoke, and Laito simultaneously leaned in to whisper in her ear. 

“Ah… You smell so good, Bitchlet.”

Huh? I’m not even wearing perfume.

Just as she pondered his remark, the light reflected off something in the corner of her eye. She tilted her head to look, and it turned out to be the canine teeth poking out from Laito’s mouth when he bent down to her neck as if he was going to bite her.

The thunder rumbling in the distance coincided with a fearful scream from Yui, both reverberating through the room. 

I have to get out of here. Now.

She dashed for the door, but in her haste, her foot caught on something and she fell flat on her face. Yui scrambled back up, but a flash of pain ran through her leg. Looking down, she saw blood welling up from a cut in the skin of her knee.

Suddenly feeling the brothers’ attention on her again, Yui raised her face. She was met with their ominously glistening eyes. Their unusually sharp canine teeth were now plainly visible. It’s… like they’re…

“V-vampires…”

Yui reached for something in her pocket and held it up in front of her face.

“Eat this!”

It was the rosary that she’d gotten from her father. 

Vampires should be weak to crucifixes! However, much to her disappointment, the brothers didn’t cower in fear. From the sofa by the window where Shuu lay, Yui even heard a low, mocking laugh.

“Huh?” 

Why didn’t it do anything?

“Good grief…” Reiji said, exasperated. “The theories that vampires are weak to garlic, crucifixes, the sun, and that sort of thing… are all myths invented by humans. Did you earnestly expect that to work on us? That only proves how foolish you humans really are. This is most displeasing.”

Oh…

Yui made a dash for the door.

“You really haven’t an ounce of discipline, have you?” she heard Reiji say irritatedly from behind her as she ran.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sound of Yui’s desperate, careless footsteps echoed through the entrance hall as she ran. The thought that they were not just no ordinary humans, but actual vampires, was incomprehensible. 

I have to get out of here as fast as I can!

Having run blindly focused on getting away, Yui came to a halt. Wait, which way should I even go? She wasn’t sure if it was because the mansion was so big, but there were so many hallways that looked so similar to one another that she quickly lost track of where she was. However, she had no time to hesitate. I have to run, or they’ll catch up to me…

Yui sped off again at the memory of the threatening look in their eyes.

Shortly after that, she spotted a table loaded with different kinds of sweets at the end of the hall. What is this doing here? As she eyed the sweets in suspicion, Kanato suddenly appeared from the shadow under the table. 

“I’ll break you.”

“Oh!”

The way Kanato smiled at her made her quickly continue her path. What was he doing there?

A small desk with a landline phone on it caught Yui’s attention when she turned the corner into another hallway. 

Good, I can use it to contact my father… If I can, I could make it out of here somehow… Yui picked up the receiver, but the cord that she thought had been connected to the phone before had now been cut. 

Oh no… Briefly stunned, she lost hope. 

From somewhere in the distance, Laito’s voice called out to her. “Hehe… I told you you wouldn’t need a phone anymore living here.”

Yui frantically looked around to see where he was. Laito was nowhere in sight. 

“Come and find me, Bitchlet…”

He probably enjoyed the sight of her frightened. Laito’s voice made her shrink away in fear. While scrambling backwards, she bumped into someone, and Yui held her breath as she felt hands closing around her shoulders.

Please, no…

“Guess who?”

Yui yelped. 

Terrified by Laito whispering so close to her ear, she quickly shook off his hands and ran. 

When she somehow finally reached a door, it wouldn’t budge. No way! Why won’t it open?

“Please, please open!” She pounded her fists on the door, but it didn’t help at all. I’m going to have to look for a different way out…

Before she could move away, two hands reached out on either side of her and pushed Yui’s body against the door. It was Ayato.

“Where are you going? This is the part where you scream for my amusement. Let me hear you cry out, at the top of your lungs.”

Yui was trapped in his arms.

“You can’t run away, you know.”

The girl was somehow able to shake Ayato off as well, and ran in the opposite direction, deeper into the mansion. I’m better off finding a place to hide…

Upstairs, Yui found a room that looked suitable for hiding, but the door didn’t open when she turned the knob. As she ran down the dimly-lit hallway on the second floor, she heard the sound of something unlocking. 

Yui spotted a spiral staircase further down the hall. Did it come from up there? 

She followed the stairs and came to a stop in front of yet another door. Padlocks and chains were scattered on the floor before it. 

It’s unlocked. I should hide in there.

Yui went in and shut the door behind her.

The dim moonlight gave the room a gloomy atmosphere. Yui looked around. There were many pieces of furniture and paintings with sheets draped over them, as well as different kinds of tools. Everything was covered in a layer of dust, making it seem like nobody ever came in here. It might be a storage room, Yui thought as she padded through the room to a dresser. Her eyes fell onto the accessories spread out on top of it, which were adorned with gemstones and glittered in the moonlight. But if they’re laid out like this, this must be someone’s room after all? 

Yui’s gaze unintentionally shifted to the window.

A woman was standing on the balcony.

The woman’s back was turned to Yui, so she couldn’t see her face, but her long purple hair shone in the moonlight. She gave off an elegant aura in her long dress, which was almost as purple as her hair.

The purple-haired woman noticed Yui’s presence. Just as she turned to look at her, an intense pain spread through Yui’s torso.

Yui choked on air.

What’s happening? 

She had never experienced such pain in her chest before. 

I can’t breathe… Her heart started beating erratically, her vision slowly becoming blurry. The pain was so severe that she lost her footing and collided with the bookcase along the wall, sending books tumbling to the floor. Yui could only focus on bearing the agony. 

After a little while, the pain subsided. 

What on Earth was that?

Yui snuck another glance towards the window, but saw nothing but the new moon in the night sky outside. Did I just imagine all of that? The pain in her chest and the illusion of that woman might not even be so strange in the line of things that had already happened today.

The books that had fallen from the bookcase caught Yui’s attention. Alongside a number of books was a leatherbound notebook. Her eyes stopped on a picture that had slipped out from between the pages when she had bumped into the bookcase.

“This is… Dad?!”

The picture depicted a priest holding a small, sleeping baby. So that baby is…

“Me?”

But how did this picture get here?

When Yui looked at the notebook from which the picture had slipped out, the writer summarised their day’s events and achievements in a familiar handwriting.

“So this is my father’s diary. But why?” 

Why would it be here of all places? I might understand if I look inside.

She opened the diary and began reading.

Yui brings me so much joy. The fact that she is not my own child bears no meaning at all. She is truly a blessing, and I am nothing but grateful for every day I get to spend with her…

Yui could not believe her eyes.

“What does he mean, I’m not my father’s child? What is this diary even doing here?” 

Am I not his biological child? It couldn’t be so…

“To think you went into this room, of all places.”

The sudden sound of Reiji’s voice made Yui look up, and she saw that the Sakamaki brothers had somehow all gathered in the room in the blink of an eye.

“This is a forbidden room. Nobody is allowed inside.” Reiji glanced at the door and let out a heavy sigh. “I will have to put new locks on it.”

“Really, though. How did you even get in, Bitchlet?” Laito asked and crouched down before her, but even Yui did not know why the room had been unlocked. 

I didn’t even unlock it myself…

Yui tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t quite come out.

Kanato stood before her as well, leering down at her. “You’re nothing but food, so please stay still so I can eat.”

“I-I’m not food…”

“Quit complaining already.”

Yui shrieked when Subaru slammed a fist into the wall like he had before, sending more books falling from the bookcase to the floor.

“Oh, not again, Subaru.”

“Fuck off.”

While Laito and Subaru bickered with one another, Yui looked on, frightened beyond her wits. What should I do? I’m surrounded. There’s no way I can run now. 

What are they going to do with me?

“That face…”

Someone grabbed her chin and forced her to look up. There was Ayato, his face splitting into a satisfied grin.

“It’s so tempting.”

“Let me have a bite, too!”

“I want to lick her.”

“N-no…”

The triplets started towards Yui.

“You have no right to refuse. The only thing you need to know is this: you can most definitely not run from us,” Reiji stated plainly.

“Beating around the bush, as always. What he means to say is that we’ll kill you if you try to get away.”

Yui had no choice. She was surrounded by the triplets as she quietly took in Reiji’s and Subaru’s words. On either side of her, Ayato and Laito took turns turning her neck this way and that, and when Kanato stretched out a hand towards her, Yui let out a fearful scream.

“Please stop!”

CRASH!

Yui screamed, and the sound of glass breaking pierced the air. The triplets, who had been swarming around her in an attempt to steal her blood, snapped their heads in the direction of the sound.

A few landscape paintings had fallen over by Shuu’s feet, and glass was scattered all across the floor. 

“My bad,” Shuu said, and turned his back toward her. Yui’s eyes must not have conveyed her desperate need to be saved from the triplets.

While she was rooted in place, terrified, the realisation dawned over Yui.

Even if I run, I have nowhere to go.

“Hey, Pancake.”

Yui, still startled at the nickname, turned around. Her mind could barely keep up when Ayato grabbed her by the throat and pushed her down onto the floor.

“Are you ready to accept your fate?”

His eyes had a dangerous twinkle in them as he hovered over her. Yui could no longer find the resolve to move away. Ayato pinned her to the floor and held her gaze, his sharp fangs glistening in the light of the new moon peeking through the window. 

Please, save me…

“Oh, God!”

However, Yui’s voice never reached Him.

[dancingtotuyo]

Before | 5. cold is the water

A Woman Story

Rating: Mature

Warnings: childbirth, grief, loss, mania

Notes: So we come to the end of our reader’s written back story. Thank you all for following this little side story to the series. It means the world to me! I love you all tremendously.

No beta we die like Gabe in the previous chapter.

Words: 1499

Series Masterlist | Woman Masterlist | Author Masterlist

Long, agonizing, terrorizing screams ricochet off your bedroom walls as you thrash around. Everything blurs together in pain and tears and snot. Another contraction hits. The pain in your abdomen is a dull ache compared to the splitting in your chest. 

This isn’t right. It’s all wrong. He should be here. He’s supposed to be here to hold your hand and welcome your child into the world. He’s supposed to hold the baby, his baby, care for them alongside you. Instead, you’re doing this alone. You’re surviving alone, raising a child alone. 

It’s been three months since he died, bitten on a routine patrol, but your body is just beginning to process it, too concerned about growing a human to do so until now. Your body is ready. Ready to release this child into the damned world you live in and accept that Gabe is gone. You thought this moment would make him feel closer, but his absence is only amplified. He’s not coming back, and you are hopelessly alone again. 

The sob wracks your body, coming from a deeper part of your soul now. Flames burn within your lungs as you double over grasping the bed for support. Your face is sticky from the sweat and tears. You’re struggling to pull air in but it does nothing to silence you. If anything you grow louder. The sounds out of you are inhuman, animalistic.

The door clicks. You sense it. You can’t hear it over yourself. Maria stands there behind the tears and spots dotting your vision, firm and solid. You look a mess. Dark, purple rings sit under your eyes. Your nose is red and running. You’ve burst a blood vessel in one of your eyes.

“Maria…” your voice is hoarse and your knees lock up before your cries start again. 

Maria rushes forward, grabbing your forearms before you can topple over. Your hysteria resumes.  

Your words slur together. “He should be here!” Another contraction hits. As they progress, so does the splitting in your chest. You feel like you’re being ripped in two. “I can’t do this without him! I can’t do this alone!”

Maria grips your shoulders. She will probably leave bruises, but you can’t tell in the moment. She says your name, but you continue to howl. She says it again, but it does nothing. It’s just another noise in the cacophony you’re creating. 

Her hands grasp your neck. She can feel your racing pulse. Maria is no doctor but she knows it’s too fast. “Look at me!” There’s just enough pressure, just enough of a shake. Her voice is just loud enough to stun you for a minute. “You have to calm down! You’re going to tear yourself apart if you don’t!”

Your eyes clear enough that you can make out hers; dark, warm, and swimming with concern. You don’t pick up on the guilt. The look in yours scares her just as much as your mania does. It’s deep and wild. It’s grief and it’s pure terror. 

She presses her forehead to yours, her grip on your neck unchanging and it keeps you pinned to reality by a thumbtack. Does she know you haven’t slept in days pacing through your house like a mad woman? 

“You’re not alone! Do you hear me?” Her eyes water over. Your head is pounding like a bass drum, but your pulse is dropping. “You have me, and Tommy and the rest of Jackson. You’re not alone. I’m not going to leave. I promised Gabe you wouldn’t be alone.”

You know Maria wants to look away, but she doesn’t. She holds you tighter, pulls you closer. You know she had to put the bullet in your husband’s head. 

The tears bubble up again, but they’re different this time, like the water from a spring. Your chest shakes, but it doesn’t rattle. You’re not hurting yourself with these tears. They’re pure sadness running in hot, gentle streams down your cheeks. 

“I miss him so much.” It barely comes out, scratching your esophagus like sandpaper. 

Maria’s grip on you loosens. You fall forward, head buried in her shoulder, tears soaking her shirt. Her arms wrap around you and the two of you slowly sink to the ground. Your grief is all-encompassing. It’s more than just Gabe. It’s the people you lost on outbreak day. It’s the people you’ve lost since, the grief of the life you once knew, and the grief of the life you anticipated. Her tributary of tears form a river with yours. It’s that your child will never know their father. It’s the grief of the childless mother beside you, and knowing there’s only more grief to come. It won’t stop even in this little semblance of normalcy the community has worked so hard to carve out in the mountains of Wyoming. So the two of you sit there until the tears stop. 

You don’t know how much time has passed but you’re stiff, your bottom numb. The contractions are closer together. Pulling away from Maria, your chest aches. Your limbs feel like overcooked spaghetti. Your mind is hazy. Maria aids you from your bottom to all fours, to hands on your mattress so you can get to your feet. It’s harder than you expect. 

Another contraction hits. You feel this one the most. It has you gasping for breath. Your hand catches Maria’s forearm for stabilization. Your legs are wet. You curse. This isn’t the first time you wet your pants, but it’s definitely the most. You move toward the bathroom and more leaks out. You groan. 

“Did your water just break?” 

You turn back towards Maria, eyes blazing with wildness once again. It makes more sense than what you were thinking. She sees you slipping into the oblivion. 

“Hey.” She grabs your hands, holding them to her chest. It jerks you back to reality. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

The water is tepid against your skin, the pressure building in your abdomen as beads of sweat form on your forehead. Dr. Pooley messes with instruments on your bathroom counter. Maria kneels next to the tub, holding your hand. 

“You’re doing great.”

Your head rolls to one side as a low groan escapes from your mouth. Your head is foggy from the tears, eyes swollen almost shut. Despite the pain, you feel far away from the moment, like you’re watching from the corner of the room. All this pain should keep you in your body. This is wrong. It’s all wrong. 

“Hey,” Maria snaps. “Stay here with me.” She squeezes your hand. It hardly registers against the other sensations flooding your body, but the skin-to-skin contact brings you back just in time for another contraction to hit.

It feels different. Like the baby shifted. The pain kicks up a notch and a strangled yell escapes from your lips. Dr. Pooley kneels next to you. 

“I’m going to check the baby’s position.”

Maria keeps a hold of your hand as the doctor checks. The baby is crowning. 

You know what’s next. You’ve delivered most of the babies born in Jackson, the number growing every year, particularly in the springtime months, but this is your child in the dead of winter without your husband. Your head shakes and the tears threaten to spill again. 

“No,” the words tumble from your lips. “I can’t.”

Dr. Pooley looks at Maria, the pair sharing silent words. 

“Move forward,” Maria instructs.

“Maria, I can’t-“ Your breathing quickens, the short breaths of hyperventilation nearing. 

“Move forward.” Her hands are on your back, pushing you. 

The water sloshes around you. Maria stands. Confusion chases away your tears. Her hiking boot submerges into the water, followed by the other. Water climbs up her jeans before she sits behind you, thighs pressed against yours. Her arms wrap around your shoulder, keeping you tight against her. “I’ve got you. You yell. You scream. You do whatever the fuck you need to do to get through this, but you stay here. I want you to remember every detail of this sweet baby’s face when they get here. We’re going to get through this.”

Your breathing doesn’t slow, but it doesn’t get worse and that’s all that matters. Your screams echo off the tile. Maria holds you close and then the physical pain takes over, blocking everything out for a few precious minutes like you’ve slipped underwater or that part in a movie where they cut the sound during a scene filled with chaos. 

You’re about to have a child. It hits your square in the chest, bringing you back to earth as his cries break through the world. 

He’s slick against your chest, squirming around in loud protest. Your instincts snap into gear like  a momma bear with her cub as you pull him to your chest. Your lips struggle to form the words, but you swear you hear Gabe’s voice for a split second. 

You did it, Doleful. You got this. 

[imnotasuperhero]

Look into my eyes (search your soul)

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Your love for Wanda could make you go the distance and more, just to see her happy.

A/N: Here’s me with a brand new story. This is planned to be a multi chapter, and I know I should have everything written before posting but i need the validation, okay? Hope this is enough to hook you up and you enjoy this ride.

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX

Any and every word you were about to say flew your mind at the body at the other side of the door that just opened.Granted, your attraction to the redhead wasn't new. But just seeing her in that unique glow that pregnancy gives her was something that never failed to take your breath away.

"Hi," Wanda smiled something warm and your inside felt burning. "Didn't know you were coming."

"Neither did I." You smiled timidly. Truth is, you didn't even think about coming here when you left your client's house.

"Come on in," Wanda stepped aside as you entered the threshold. "How are you?"

Following her to the kitchen, you sat on the stool as Wanda umpromtedly filled the kettle with water, placing it on the stove. Eyes never looking away from her every little movement, as if a hypnotic spell was cast over you.

"I've been better," you smiled tiredly.

"At least tell me you got to sleep last night?" Wanda took your hand over the kitchen island.You felt your fingers burning as your thumb smoothed away the cute frown that formed between those green eyes.

"Don't worry, it's almost finished." You bit the inside of your cheek as your fingers ran the contour of her left side, caressing her warm cheek. "I did sleep," you sighed as your hand found its previous place.

"Good, I don't want you to get sick over work."

"Hey! I'm not that bad of a patient," you stuck your tongue out, earning a giggle from the woman in front of you.

"I never said you were," Wanda smiled as she turned around.

After both teas were ready, you moved to the couch in the living room, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying each other's company.

But said calmness was cut short when a guttural scream filled the room. Wanda's mug shattered as it collided against the wooden floor. Your senses woke up all at once as your mind ran a mile an hour.

Scrutinizing her over, your breath stopped at the wetness on Wanda's lap. "Wands,"The redhead looked down just to meet your eyes, after. Panic was written all over her face.

"It's too soon,"

"Shh, it's gonna be okay," you kissed her forehead before picking her up in your arms, walking fast toward your car.

"Y/N, please." Wanda grabbed your hands after you placed her on the co-pilot seat.

"It's gonna be okay," you smiled confidently, squeezing her hands. "Imma get the babies bag, okay? Just keep breathing, baby. You three will be just fine," you promised before hurrying back inside, running to the nursery.

The whole ride to the hospital had you multitasking as one hand was placed on the steering wheels, your right hand was clutched in Wanda's as she squeezed it to no end and your focus was divided between cooing Wanda, paying attention to the road and trying multiple times to reach Vision -thanks to technology for inventing the free hands. But the last one was to no avail.

"Are you the mom?" The gentle nurse smiled at you, freezing your mind.

"N-No," you frowned, seeing how the doctors hurried Wanda deeper into the building.

"Y/N, don't leave me," Wanda looked over her shoulder with pleading eyes, and you swore your heart did a somersault.

"I'm right here," you hurried yourself to her side, taking her hand in yours.

You tried one last time to get a hold of Vision, but the call was sent straight to voicemail. Switching through apps, you sent a quick message to Natasha, letting her know of the birthing of the twins and to tell the others, before you prepared yourself to get into the operating room.

Walking timidly to Wanda's side, your heart broke at the look of utter panic in those beautiful green orbs.

"You will be okay," you smiled warmly as you leaned down to kiss her sweaty head.The pause that settled between you sent shivers down your spine.

"If anything happens to me-"

"Nothing will happen, honey." You promised the redhead, trying to convey in those words all the love and trust you held for her. "You're gonna get out of here with your babies."

"I love you," Wanda groaned as another contraction took over her.

"I love you too," 'more than what a friend should.' You smiled. "Now let's get those babies."

Nothing had prepared you for what you witnessed that day. And you felt honored Wanda trusted you enough to let you see her. From now on, you'd never doubt her -not that you ever did- for your admiration for her grew exponentially at the work she's performed.

The tears finally ran down your cheek as your eyes landed on the bundle of joy being placed in Wanda's arms. Rosy cheeks and swollen face taking your breath away.

"Thank you," you looked at Wanda, seeing her too immersed in her baby to even pay attention to you. "He's beautiful."

Before you could get a response out, another contraction took over her, signaling she should birth her second child.

And the result was nothing different than the previous one.The warm feeling that settled inside you got you clutching onto Wanda's hand, not knowing if the reassurance was for you or her.

Once Wanda and the babies were moved to a private room, you looked up at the knock on the door. Adjusting Billy in your arms, you walked towards the door, smiling when you saw the woman behind the huge teddy bear on the other side.

“Oh, my. Look at him,” Natasha coed as she caressed the baby’s forehead with her index.

“There you are,” the redhead walked towards a tired Wanda, a lazy smile displayed on her lips.

“Hi, Nat.”

“They’re beautiful,” she repeated, looking at the sleeping baby by Wanda’s bed. “What are their names?”

“This one’s Tommy,” Wanda smiled brightly at the sight of her son. “And that one is Billy,” she introduced calmly, looking at you two. You felt your body on fire at the look on Wanda’s face. Granted, you couldn’t put your finger on what it meant, but you surely knew it was something you’d never seen before.

Placing Billy on the hospital crib beside his brother, you then moved to sit beside Wanda, squeezing her hand in a silent gesture.

“We decided I’d be the one coming to not overwhelm you,” Natasha spoke quietly, afraid the twins would fuss at any sound. “The big teddy is from all of us,” she explained, looking at the plushy animal sitting atop Wanda’s bag.

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” Wanda nodded smiling.

After a few more minutes of you three chatting - mostly you and Natasha, as Wanda tried too hard not to snooze off, Nat said her goodbyes and you walked her outside the room.

“He’s on his way,” Natasha frowned with pitiness.

“About time he picked up,” you sighed leaning against the wall.

“That’s not your family, Y/N,”

“You think I don’t know that?” you retorted, angriness showing in your voice. “I just…”

“I know,” Nat hugged you tightly.

“I’ll stay till he comes.”

 “I’ll be home if you need anything. Yes?”

“Thank you,” you smiled her goodbye before taking a moment to just, breathe.The whole rollercoaster you endured drained you, even more so knowing Vision was on his way to his family, and you’d be sent to your lonely home. Daydreaming of Wanda and what it involved.

Once you calmed down, you entered the room just to find her with her heavy eyes, fighting the sleep she so much needed.

“You should rest,” you looked over the twins, smiling warmly before you sat in the chair.

“Lay with me?” Wanda pleaded. And you knew this was a dangerous game, but you couldn’t find it in you to deny her. So you complied, being careful not to hurt her.

“Better now?” You joked as you watched how she moved closer to you.

“Yes,” she looked up at your eyes. “Thank you,” she spoke truthfully.

“It’s nothing,” you kissed her forehead. “Now sleep. I’m here.” You just prayed Wanda couldn’t hear your erratic heartbeat, for every cell in your body vibrated at the close proximity of the body in your arms.

It was close to midnight when you heard someone enter the room, too busy to even be gentle with their movements.

“This is just great,” Vision growled as his eyes burned a hole in your head.

“Lower your volume,” you stirred awake, carefully getting up from the bed to not wake up a fast-asleep Wanda.

“Thanks for the help, but you can go now.” The blonde spit out venomously.And that just served to boil up your blood, waking up the courage inside you.

“I’ll go, but you should be more caring towards them,” you spoke quietly as you picked up your jacket. “Next time instead of getting drunk in a bar, pay attention to your phone.” You were stopped suddenly by a hard grip on your upper arm. Looking up, you sent daggers to the man holding you in place.

“Watch your words.”Freeing from his grip, you laughed something wicked.

“Watch your family,” you barked, trying your best not to cause a scene and wake up the sleeping redhead as you walked away.

As always, comments and reblogs are appreciated :)

Taglist: @summergeezburr @wandabear @xxxtwilightaxelxxx (if you want to be added, let me know!)

[idolatrybarbie]

pairing: marcus pike x fem!reader

word count & rating: 5.4k | explicit - 18+ minor free zone!

summary: it's not stalking if it's a casual curiosity. you would never do anything...you're just nosey. lonely, too, maybe. but that isn't your fault. yes—this is fine. only stalking if he notices. so what exactly happens when he does?

warnings: social isolation, touch starvation, marcus pike is a virgin (there is no virgin-shaming here - do not fear), alcohol, themes of alienation, allusions to failed relationships, everyone in this story is very normal, smut - kissing, loss of virginity, vaginal fingering, handjob, protected penetrative vaginal sex(!!!), premature ejaculation, body worship (with mouth), exhibitionism, implied male masturbation, vaginal fingering, very enthusiastic oral sex (f receiving), cum eating, cuddling.

notes: i was depressed and am sick (again) but yesterday was a really good day, so you get a fic. @wannab-urs wanted to see virgin marcus - here he is. this slowly and subtly became a little more kinky than i intended it to lol? my own cat makes an appearance and yes he is really that old. this is also my 400th post to this blog. woohoo, enjoy! :)

He’s your neighbour. Kind of cute. Okay, lie—very cute. You don’t have much on him otherwise. He moved in about three months ago, right at summer’s end. At first, you thought he was a student. You see him around the house and the neighbourhood during weekdays, so that rules out a college schedule.

He likes to read books in the park. Thick novels with colourful covers and lengthy titles. You would think that he’s showing off, peacocking with the way that he’s got a new book in his hands every week. But no, the reading isn’t for show. He moulds them to his liking, dogears the pages and folds over paperbacks; things someone doesn’t do when they’ve got a book in their hands as a lure, a line.

Surprisingly, he seems to be single. You aren’t exactly sure why. There’s no short supply of wealthy single moms in the area, and the man himself is truly gorgeous. Maybe he’s recently divorced, or gay. Maybe it’s his mom’s old house and she’s passed, and he’s only here to settle things up before skipping town again.

You find yourself watching his windows at night, never able to catch a glimpse of him. The house glows orange with the lights still on inside—a welcoming lighthouse in the cold and murky sea of suburbia. When you start thinking like that, watching his house for more than too long, you send yourself to bed. The very last thing you want to be is the obsessed stalker across the street.

A part of you can’t help it. Your other neighbours, despite barely knowing them, don’t seem to like you very much. You have a feeling a certain washing-your-car-in-a-bikini-top incident at the end of this year’s boiling hot August might have something to do with it. With no friends to speak of in this cookie cutter county, you find yourself lonely. When you don’t think about it too hard, that’s justification enough.

This morning, you wake up before the sun. Sparing your eyes the bright glare of house lights, you use a near-dead flashlight to see down the hall. The cat in your care this week lives on a strict schedule. At fourteen human years—eighty in feline—Bender has grown accustomed to routine: breakfast at six-thirty, talk television at eight. Later mornings to early afternoons are a little less structured, leaving him to wander the house or settle in for a nap. Then he eats again at four, followed up by water and a monitored trip to the litter box. After that, he usually sits on the cushioned back of your couch to watch movies with you.

His owner is away in Florida with her grand kids. She’s been leaving him with you for the past six months whenever she needs time away from Virginia to let loose and explore. Bender isn’t really my cat, she’d told you the first time, but her daughter is in New York for school and couldn’t take him this year. You secretly hope that she never does. He’s excellent company.

Professional pet-sitting hadn’t ever been a career that you’d really considered. You’re still not sure if this is a forever thing or a temporary gig to pay the bills. Really, you’d like to put your degree to use in some capacity. But after being laid off so abruptly…well, you aren’t itching to get back out into the workforce quite yet. Especially not when sweet older women pay you a hundred dollars a day to revel in the company of cuddly creatures.

They aren’t all easy like the old man. Charlie, the St. Bernard you sat last month, is clingier than any ex you’ve ever had. The Fogelmans’ Dalmatian is nice to have for a day or two, but thirty minute runs twice each morning go from exhausting to borderline impossible by day three. Animals are exhausting. When you aren’t sitting, you’re sleeping.

Peeling back the tin lid on a can of wet food, you can already hear the light tap of Bender’s small paws on the floor. He joins you in the kitchen, waiting as he watches you spoon half of the can’s contents onto a dessert plate. You soften it, making it easier to chew before you slide the food over to him. He always takes a comically big first bite.

“If only they could all be like you, huh?”

Bender doesn’t answer, of course. He’s a cat.

Good Morning America rambles away on your flat-screen. You’re waiting for Bender’s owner, his travel carrier already baited with treats. The unopened food cans and his toys are packed away in a grocery bag by the door. When Anne-Marie sends you a text that she’s in the neighbourhood, you gently lead the cat into the carrier. The grated door clinks shut behind him.

Poking a finger through the slats, Bender meets you with his paw.

“Come visit me soon, alright?” you ask. “Maybe your mom can take a long trip to Canada or something.”

Anne-Marie doesn’t have to knock for you to know she’s there, her short shadow visible through the frosted glass beside the door. You stand and turn to open it, greeting her with a smile. She asks after you and tells you about her flight in.

“I hope he’s been a good boy,” she says.

“An angel, as usual,” you reply.

“He’s a little bit of a grump sometimes.”

“Perfectly fine with me. Bender’s always welcome back here.”

Anne-Marie takes the bag of food and toys first, tossing it into the front passenger seat before returning for the carrier. Handing it over, you watch as she walks down the steps and  loads him into the backseat of her SUV. She buckles Bender’s glorified plastic box securely in the back, getting in herself. Anne-Marie waves at you from behind the wheel. You wave back.

Watching the vehicle pull away with your furry friend in tow, you see your neighbour’s house for the first time today. The weather is cooling off as winter grows closer. You don’t see him out much anymore, except when he gets home from who-knows-where. Even then, it’s only a glimpse of his short walk to the front door. Today, he’s sitting on his porch. With a fleece sweater zipped to his chin and a vest hugging his torso, you watch as pulls on a pair of muddy boots.

Cold air breezes past you, the draft pulling you back to reality. Just as you’re about to close the door, he peers up. And looks…directly at you. Then your neighbour smiles in acknowledgment.

Making eye contact for a second too long, you shut the door quickly. Leaning against the surface, you replay the last thirty seconds in your head. The car pulled away, he was sat there…he pulled on his boots and saw—

Three sharp knocks land on the other side of your door. You’re too much of an optimist, hoping it’s Anne-Marie again. Glancing at the glass from here, you find the realistic answer. It’s him, up close and personal this time—for the first time. Suddenly, you’ve forgotten how to breathe.

He knocks once again, clearly waiting. There’s nowhere else for you to go. The man is standing at the only reasonable exit point. Caving, you take a breath and open the door. 

The first thing you notice is his smell. Earthy-sweetness lingers with him as the familiar stranger smiles at you. Again.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hello,” you return. “…Can I help you?”

“I figured that I’ve lived across the street for a while but never introduced myself,” the man says. He holds out a hand and you take it, his broad palm warming yours. “I’m Marcus.”

You tell him your name, still shaking his hand. When you let go, the smile falters.

“So Marcus, what can I do for you?”

“Well, I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar,” he says.

You glance around the doorway, unsure how to respond. “Um—” 

“I’m joking.”

“Oh,” you nod. Shifting your weight from right to left, the tiniest of squeaker toys lands under your foot.

“You've got a dog, right?”

“Sort of,” you say. “I pet-sit sometimes. They aren’t really mine.”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to bring ‘em out for a walk, but I guess—”

“I could still go for a walk,” you say, the words rushing out.

The smile returns to Marcus’ face, strong as ever as he nods. “Sure. Great.”

“Just give me one second.”

You backtrack into the front hall, pulling open your coat closet for a jacket and your shoes. It only takes a minute before you’re joining Marcus on your porch. He leads you down the steps, taking a right onto the sidewalk. This is the direction he drives in from.

“So, pet-sitting,” he says. “Passion or hobby?”

“Well, I get paid for it. Not really a hobby.”

“Monetized hobby,” Marcus corrects himself. “Or is this what you do professionally?”

“In that case, hobby. I lost my job a couple of months ago. Still sort of figuring it out,” you say. Marcus nods. Then you ask, “What about you?”

“Why don’t you guess?”

You hum, thinking back on what you know about him. The car he drives is new, a dark SUV with tinted windows. Whatever he does must pay pretty well. He lives alone, fairly solitary; no kids, no spouse. You’ve seen him bring in a maximum of three grocery bags at once, and yet he hasn’t starved, so he probably doesn’t cook a lot. Sometimes it’s like he’s never home, and others he’s ever-present. That’s a pretty erratic schedule for a business professional.

Giving up on a real answer, you say, “Male stripper.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes. “I wish.” You and him both.

“A cop?” you ask.

“Warmer,” Marcus says. “FBI agent.”

“You’re joking, right? Are you even allowed to tell normal people those things?”

“I mean, sure. You’re not a terrorist, are you?” he asks.

“No,” you say.

“Then we’re fine,” Marcus says. He formally introduces himself. SSA Marcus Pike.

“So, Marcus the FBI agent. What draws you to Fairfax County?”

“The commute. And the house is nice, too.”

“You don’t strike me as a white picket fence kind of guy.” Looking out at the neighbourhood, that’s all there is.

“You don’t seem the type either,” he says. Touché. “When I first started planning the move, it wasn’t supposed to be just me. But uh…some things changed, and I’d already bought the house. Can’t let it go to waste.”

There’s something raw there. It softens his voice a little, taking away that clutch of confidence that seemingly brought him to your door.

You say, “I guess it’s better here than another shit-box apartment.”

“Right? That was my whole life back in Texas,” Marcus says.

“Texas?”

“Not born nor bred,” he says. “I worked in the Art Theft department at the bureau there.”

“Working on crafts for the kiddos?” you ask.

“More like nabbing art thieves, stopping criminal smugglers. Stuff like that.”

You hate to admit that this man probably has more courage in his pinky finger than you possess in your entire being, but at least now you can justify the curiosity.

“So you’re good at catching the bad guys, then,” you say.

“More so good at noticing things,” Marcus explains.

The air changes slightly, goosebumps rising along your skin. You ignore any potential implication. “Like what? Human behaviour?”

“Sure,” Marcus says. “Small stuff. Like if someone’s lying…or if I’m being watched.”

When Marcus doesn’t say anything else, you pause. A finely manicured lawn as your backdrop, you stare at him, disbelieving. You can’t imagine what you look like—the pictured definition of mortification.

“Look, I’m really sorry if I creeped you out. I just—I don’t get out a lot without a job and all, and I don’t really have any friends here. You seemed interesting, but none of that’s an excuse and I should’ve come over and said h—”

He says your name, stopping your rambling. “It’s fine,” Marcus says. “A little odd but…flattering?”

With your heart racing in your chest, you scrub a hand over your face. “Oh my god,” you sigh. “I really am sorry, Marcus. My life isn’t very…normal anymore. It makes you do some weird things.” 

You can’t remember the last time you were outside before today. Direct grocery delivery took away any need to get out to the store, and with it your last real connection to the outside world. Except the pets. They keep you from losing it entirely.

“We’ve all got our fair share,” Marcus says. Why is he being so cool about this? He should be calling the police, or in this case, himself.

So you ask, “Why are you trying to make me feel better?”

“Well, if I don’t then you might not want to come over for dinner later."

At seven o’clock, you make your way across the street to Marcus’ front door. You hesitate in knocking, checking the time on your phone again. He says it’s fine, but maybe this is a mistake. You’re not over the embarrassment from earlier. You really don’t know how to carry out social interactions anymore. Maybe it’s for the best if you turn around and quietly slip back into your house…

Before you get the chance, the door before you opens up. Marcus has changed. He’s wearing less layers this time, only a simple white Henley shirt and a dark pair of jeans. Cartoon sharks bite the ankles of his socked feet, and you find yourself smiling when you finally look at his face. God, this man is fucking gorgeous. It almost makes you mad.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey, come on in.”

He stretches his arm to open the door wider, stepping aside to make room. You take your boots off at the door and note the details of his home. The walls are cherry red, different to the sage green of your place across the street. The wall space in the kitchen is filled with paintings where yours stay bare, all of them neatly hung—Frida Kahlo and Elmina Moisan are the artists you recognize. 

Marcus tells you that his mother is Chilean, that he was born over here once his American father could get her stateside. They moved down to Mexico when he finished high school. He’s visited every summer since, and each time he brings back a painting. There are only four here.

"You're missing a few," you say.

"The rest are upstairs," Marcus says.

Maybe you'll see them later.

Tonight, he's making fried rice and soy sauce chicken.

"Or See Yao Gai, if you want to get fancy with it," he says, concentrating on the pan.

Watching Marcus work over the stove is mesmerizing. He knows what to do and exactly when to do it, never letting anything burn or sit too long. You feel more like you're watching a professional chef than a guy that cooks "on occasion.” Even the way he washes rice has technique.

Jesus Christ, get it together.

Before plating the food, Marcus offers you a drink. He pours himself a small glass of something red.

"I'll have what you're having," you nod.

He sits across from you at the table. You imagine yourselves as your respective houses, the cloth runner that sits in the middle of the table acting as the paved street. They say people look like their pets, but homes take on characteristics of the people who live in them. Everything here is warm, like his hand. Vibrant and pleasant. The place smells like him too, all sweet and saffron.

The first bite of dinner explodes with flavour in your mouth.

"This is fucking delicious," you mumble, still chewing.

"Thank you."

"Of course." After a sip of wine, you say, "I mostly sustain myself off of hot pockets and spinach wraps. This is like, gourmet."

"You don't cook at all?" Marcus asks.

"Eh," you shrug. "I used to. A lot, actually. But it's not the same when—"

When what? When there's no love in it? Something like that. There's no one to feed, no one to come home to. So who fucking cares?

"When you're only cooking for yourself."

"I understand." They should sound like empty words, but something in Marcus' eyes tells you he really does.

"It's just…hard, I guess." Oh no, where are you taking this? "To keep caring? I’m sort of—"

"Going through the motions?" he asks.

"Yeah. Exactly," you say.

Marcus scoops another forkful of rice off his plate, chewing before he swallows. He says, "Well you know, I'm right across the street. Maybe twenty feet away? So if you need to, you can always go through the motions over here."

You don’t know exactly what he means, but it sounds nice. Someone to talk to. "One day I might just take you up on that."

When you're both finished, you help Marcus with the dishes and re-organising the table. You're showing yourself to the door with him in tow. You open it and cross over the threshold, the cold hitting you all at once. The sky is much darker than it was only an hour ago. A streetlamp behind you highlights Marcus’ face just so.

"Thanks for dinner. For all of it," you say. "It's been a long time."

"You're always welcome," Marcus says. And then he kisses you. Your hand moves over his shoulders, wrenching him forward to pull his body closer. You both stumble back into his house, the door closing behind you.

His hands remain respectfully north of the equator until you grab them, pulling them down to your hips. You break away from the kiss to say, "I don't usually…um. But do you want to—"

"Yes," he whispers. That's all the confirmation you need.

The combined stumble up to his bedroom has you bumping into walls, almost tripping on the landing. Marcus’ hands are hurried across your body. He can’t seem to make up his mind, palming your ass before he slides his hands over your ribs, squeezing your breast. Right outside his bedroom, he stops you.

“I’ve never done this before,” he says.

“Sex on the first date?”

“Sex…period.” You watch the way he cringes at himself, instinctively holding him closer.

Carefully, you say, “We don’t have to.”

“I want to. I just—it’s good to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“It’s fine,” you say, giving him a kiss. “And we can take it slow.”

Marcus nods.

Inside the room, he lets you take the lead. You begin with your clothes, shedding your top, socks, and pants. Marcus mirrors you, leaving him shirtless in blue underwear. He’s already on his way to being fully hard, a bulge visible beneath the fabric.

Standing in front of his bed, you wave him over with a light come here. He’s drawn to you, a snake to its charmer, strong arms encircling you in his hold. You revel in the warmth of him. Marcus’ closeness has you leaning into his body, skin-to-skin. It has been so long since you’ve had this. You can’t remember the last time you’ve even had a hand to hold, an arm to brush by accident—so you take it. You revel in it, only god knowing the next time the opportunity will present itself.

“Are you okay?” Marcus asks, breath warm against your ear.

“Yeah, uh… I’m sorry,” you say. “It’s been a long time since I’ve touched somebody.”

The admission makes your stomach twist, Marcus’ face relaxing into a softer shape. Instead of the usual look of pity, he keeps his expression open. When he kisses you again, it’s long and slow; languid passes of his tongue against yours as the pair of you fall to the middle of the duvet. Marcus settles against you, assuring that his weight doesn’t crush yours before he peppers pecks across your mouth and forehead.

You can feel him hard against your thigh, steadily rocking himself into your skin with every smooch. He asks, “Can I touch you?” and you breathe a yes.

His right hand moves from its place on your torso to glide down the side of your body, cupping your ass before Marcus slides two fingers into the band of your panties. He smooths the pads of his fingers over the skin below your stomach, dipping below your pelvis to feel you.

Marcus brushes against your clit. You tilt your hips higher, chasing after the sensation.

“Here?” he asks.

“Little to the left?” you whisper. Adjusting accordingly, your breath catches when he finds it. “Yeah, there.”

Marcus rubs at it with his fingers, drawing tight circles around your clit as you wedge your face in between his shoulder and jaw.

“Can I kiss your neck?”

“Sure.”

Slowly, mindlessly, you peck at Marcus’ skin to ground yourself. Closer to his ear, he smells powdery, like vanilla. You’d like to know if it’s cologne or all him. You gasp when his fingers move to collect some of your wetness, returning to your clit and doubling down on the light pressure. Tongue darting past your lips, you lick him. He groans.

“Does that feel good?”

Gathering your thoughts takes a moment. “Yes, Marcus—don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

He watches you now, eyes closed as you’re worked closer to the edge. With Marcus’ free hand, he slides the strap of your bra off your shoulder, pulling the fabric away from your breast.

“Use your mouth,” you instruct him.

Marcus doesn’t need to be told twice, ducking low to take your nipple into his mouth. His lips and fingers working in tandem as your body narrows in on the edge of pleasure. You keep a hand at the back of his head as he licks and sucks your nipple. When he takes the sensitive bud between his teeth, you cry out and tug at Marcus’ hair. You push his mouth closer, closer—you wish he would eat you.

It doesn’t take very long for you to cum. A few more tugs of his teeth at your nipple and a harsher pass over your clit has you seizing against him, lips parted as a harsh noise leaves your mouth. Marcus slows his fingers to an eventual stop. When you look at him again, he’s eyeing the stickiness left between them.

You hold his wrist, pulling it to your mouth and slipping his fingers onto your tongue. Marcus watches you clean them intently, like he’s committing the sight to memory. When your done, he holds your face and kisses your nose. You laugh.

“What else do you want to do?” he asks.

You slide a hand down his stomach, lightly prodding his belly button just to see him flinch. The smile he gives you makes you ache.

Hand hovering close to his clothed cock, you say, “I wanna touch you.”

He nods. “Please.” The single word comes out high and whiny, stoking that fire in your belly once again.

Slipping a hand into his briefs, you feel the wetness at the head of his cock as it smears against the elastic. You start there, taking the sticky tip into your palm to gather some of Marcus’ precum. When you work your hand over the rest of him, the glide is easier, his skin like slick velvet underneath you. It’s your turn to watch as his eyes flutter closed, mouth twisted into a pout as Marcus breathes hard through his nose.

“You can make noise, baby. Let me hear you,” you say.

Marcus gives you a quick nod, eyes opening again when you squeeze him at the base of his shaft. He moans, long and low, lips parted beautifully. You speed up, watching the effects of the faster pace as he curls further into your body. The slope of his nose drags against the skin of your shoulder as he breathes you in.

“Fuck,” Marcus whispers. His curses are said softly into your skin. Suddenly, his upper half draws away from you. “Fuck, wait, wait—”

You don’t realize he’s cumming until the first stripe of spend lands across your hip. Marcus groans, a reluctant purr from the back of his throat that mixes in with another low, “Fuuuuck.” Your hand frozen around him, you wait until he’s done to move.

Immediately, Marcus withdraws from you entirely. His eyes are glued to the cum on your skin, face twisted with something unreadable.

“Hey,” you say, touching your clean hand to his. He looks up at you. “It’s fine. You’re fine.”

“I’m really sorry,” Marcus mutters.

“Why?” you ask. With the shake of your head, you join him closer to the end of the bed. You slide your fingers through the mess of his spend, bringing them to your lips. Again, he watches as you clean it up. “Totally natural. Normal. You felt good, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“That’s all that matters. I felt good too.”

“Do you still want to…” he trails off.

“If you want to do more, I have no objections,” you say. “And if not.” With a shrug, you quirk your lips up. There’s no pressure here. You’re grateful to have him at all tonight.

“I have an idea,” Marcus says. He shakes off the funk, shoulders rolling back again easily.

“I’d love to hear it.”

Noses close enough to touch, your hands never leave his skin as Marcus confides in you his thoughts. When you say yes, he positions himself below you. Starting at your ankles, he nuzzles his face against your skin, slowly moving upwards as he presses kisses to your calves. Eye-level with your left knee, he readjusts your leg. He lightly slides his tongue over the slot of skin behind the joint, pulling giggles from you as you squirm at the feeling.

From here, Marcus makes sure to take his time. He alternates between soft, wet kisses and flat licks up your thighs. He noses along the sensitive skin, rocking into the mattress every once in a while.

“This is probably bad timing…” he trails off. You wait for Marcus to continue, but he’s too preoccupied licking at the skin of your mid-thigh. Running your hand through his hair, you try to capture his focus again.

“Marcus?”

He looks up at you, those beautiful brown eyes melting your heart and sending it dripping down to your cunt. “I’ve known the whole time. That you were watching me.” Then Marcus returns between your legs, nose at the crux of skin between your thigh and where you need him most.

You can barely map out your words. The anticipation is killing you. “You—you did?”

“Mhm,” he hums. He’s so close now.

“You never said anything.” The bridge of his nose presses directly against you, your hips stuttering against his face. “I would’ve…god, I couldn’t stop,” you confess.

“I kind of liked it,” he whispers to your pussy—a secret between them.

You groan when his nose brushes your clit again, breaking into a light pant when Marcus licks a fat stripe across the lips of your cunt. His words short-circuit your brain. You squeeze your eyes shut, imagining Marcus in this very room, touching himself as you unknowingly watch him in the dark. All those nights with the lights left on. Is that what he was doing?

Marcus slides his tongue directly over your pussy, prodding with care. Forcing yourself to look, your gaze falls from the ceiling to his lowered form. He’s already watching you, drinking in every bite of your lip and crease in your forehead. With your attention on him again, Marcus doubles down on his efforts, making out with your cunt as you whine.

“Please, please, please. Marcus—inside, can you use your fingers?”

“Anything,” he says, slipping two inside of you carefully. “Anything you want.”

They move in tandem with his tongue. Finally having something to grip and clench around has the heat of your second orgasm growing to a full forest fire. Picturing yourself now, you wonder if any of your other neighbours have taken an interest in the new guy in town. If they’re watching now, catching a glimpse of you through his window. The thought has you moaning again, picturing inches of soft, revealed skin and Marcus’ hands on you through the eyes of a stranger.

Marcus fucking you in the dark SUV that occupies the driveway, taking you against the translucent accent window of your front hall. Privacy with that hint of exposure. The delicious subtlety of risk.

Maybe you kind of like it too.

Marcus sucks on your clit and the sensation consumes you, flames licking up your spine. You cum with a shudder and a curse. He slows his hand down, removing his index and middle from you to share another kiss.

“I’d like you inside me,” you whisper.

Teeth gnaw at your insides. You crave the closeness, his warmth. Leaning to the side of the mattress, Marcus pulls open his bedside drawer. He fishes a condom from its depths.

“You’re prepared,” you say with a smile.

Marcus shrugs as he carefully tears the wrapper. “I was a boy scout.”

You sit up to help him put it on, spitting in your palm before you wrap it around his length. “Of course you were.”

He watches your movements, rolling the plastic on at the head before you remove your hand. Marcus slides the condom down the rest of him, keeping the end pinched.

“I was expecting brownie points for that presentation,” he says.

You lean up to meet him on your knees, teasing him with the promise of another kiss. You just miss his lips with your own, planting a peck at the corner of his mouth.

“You don’t get a prize for watching your hot English teacher roll one onto a banana.”

Leveraging his shoulders, you have him seated and straddled in one swift move. Marcus sucks in a gasp as you hover your cunt over him, slicking his cock with your body. He holds himself, lining up to let you sink down easily. The stretch is slight, feeling a pinch as he splits you open. Grasping your shoulders, Marcus moans into the plate of your chest.

Grinding on him slowly, you pet his hair and hold the heat of his face to your skin. “There you go,” you sigh. “How’re you feeling?”

You squeeze around him right as Marcus opens his mouth to answer, words replaced by stuttering breaths. "Good, good. So good,” he says. “Feeling you…fuck. You’re beautiful.” Marcus rocks his hips up into you, taking over the pace as he grows a little frantic. The friction of short hair at the base of him keeps you sated, enjoying the feel as he follows his release.

“Think of you all the time,” he continues. “See you out and—god, ah—you’re always so beautiful. Shit… Always alone. I just—”

Marcus grinds into you a few more times before he spills into the condom, moaning into the kiss you give him. You stay together like that for a minute, reveling in the feeling of him. Then you slide off his lap, Marcus’ limp dick slipping from you. He stands to take the condom off and disappears into the en suite bathroom. When he returns, the two of you bundle up under the covers.

He lets you be little spoon, his hands swiping softly over your stomach. Marcus traces little shapes beside your belly button, lips meeting the top notch of your spine.

“How was that?” you ask, breaking the soft silence.

“An excellent first time,” he says. “More…more than I imagined it could be. Thank you.”

“I’m glad.” You bring your own hand to the arm that wraps around you, feeling him. “It’s kind of a two-way street. I haven’t—I’m not really accustomed to closeness anymore.” His grasp on you has your head abuzz, high on his touch. Then you ask, “You said you saw me?”

“Oh, right,” Marcus says, remembering. “Saw you around the neighbourhood. I was mostly impressed you were able to keep a handle on that Dalmatian without turning into the evil coat lady.” His corny joke still makes you laugh, one more for the night, even as you shake your head. “And…I don’t know. I never saw you with anyone. I kept wanting to come over and say hello. Say anything, really.”

“I would’ve liked that,” you say. “Would still like that. If you came and talked to me.” Talking, fucking, going through the motions.

“I think we’re a little past that,” he says.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’ll always come talk to you.” A beat of silence. “Just you and me, like two lonely people.”

[emsgwenstan]

Personal or professional?

Chap 1 | chap 2 | chap 3

Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader.

Words: 2k

Warnings: bodily issues, swearing.

Note: imma b honest I’m filling In for the parts I want to write. I’m not there yet. Just know there will be a few things coming within the next few chapters! Xx

———

Just as I was thinking about how ridiculously bold it was for me to put my number on that cup, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket once I returned home.

‘Meet me at the weathervane in your lunch break tomorrow?~Larissa’

My eyes went wide as I re-read the message over and over until I realise that she can see if I’ve viewed it, I quickly replied.

‘Sure, 12:30? Are you sure you have time?’

Immediately it was seen and I waited in anticipation once the three little dots popped up.

‘That’s fine, even if I don’t I will always make time darling.”

I didn’t know exactly what to reply, so I just turned off my phone and threw it on my bed, I could feel my face flushing at the thought of her. I stripped off and got ready for a shower, the chill of the room raising goosebumps along my skin, the tile floor of the bathroom freezing the soles of my feet, stepping in, I let out a hum at the hot water encapsulating my body finally letting myself relax against the wall, ridding myself of the day, not that it was so bad.

Once out, dried off and dressed, I jump into bed not bothering with dinner, being far to exhausted to cook or order anything, I snuggle into my thick duvet and flick on the tv to half watch and listen to another true crime story. It isn’t always ideal to watch this stuff when I live alone, especially as a woman, but there’s something oddly calming about it, even if I get slightly paranoid. After a while I fell asleep at around 8:00pm, but woke at around 12 to turn the tv off.

———

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual to perfect my simple make up, applying a layer of foundation and mascara, the smallest bit of matte pink lipstick and to be sure to have every hair on my head in place held in a slicked back ponytail. ‘I just hope this will last for at least 8 hours, the next 4 don’t matter.’ I thought.

Throwing on my black jeans and fluoro pink work shirt, as well as a baggy pink and black work wear jacket, I glance at myself in the floor length mirror, every time I do I see nothing I like, nothing pretty, nothing special, I feel like I must be such a curiosity to other people, my job, my height, my weight, my strange mix of masculinity and femininity, I know I’m not skinny or thin but I’m not that big either, anymore at least. The stretch marks on my stomach, thighs and breasts are the things I try so hard to cover up. I can’t help but wonder why anyone would want to be with or associate around someone like me, even if I personally don’t discriminate against what people look like. That also brings me to ponder why Larissa asked to have lunch with me today.

I think my collar bone length, warm blond hair is probably the only thing I change often or really take care of, I try to do my nails and keep them clean and presentable, always painted in a nude pink, which is ironic considering i don’t actually like the colour. I change the studs in all of my piercings, rotating the gold from small hoops to diamonds. My hands are scared and calloused from 22 years of working with rough materials as well as my legs and forearms, I guess I’ve no need to be jealous or overthink about others body’s or physique’s I’m a grown woman after all, but the insecurity is always at the forefront of my mind.

After traipsing out of the house, I finally made it into work at 5am, turning on all the lights and compressors and the radio I listen to until 9, it goes off once my boss turns up. “No music in the factory Violet.” He’d say, which is bullshit, it’s so fucking boring without it. Walking into the shop’s kitchenette, I flick on the kettle to make my morning tea in a travel cup and tap my fingers on the bench in waiting. It’s already freezing today, the cold seeping through my layers of clothing and apparently the concrete walls, yesterday was warm enough to wear shorts and go without a jumper.

Consulting with my boss about the order needing to be placed for the cupboards going to nevermore was nauseating, It took a lot longer than usual because of all the questions he asked about yesterday afternoon. “So how was going to the school for strange kids yesterday?” He asked sarcastically, not looking up from his computer. “Their not strange, their just different to you. And it was fine, obviously got all the information we need.” I said annoyed. “Right.” After a long pause he spoke again. “Miss Weems seemed to enjoy your presence, she didn’t shut up about the stuff you showed her.” I was perplexed and rolled my eyes. “Well at least someone appreciates it.” I said under my breath looking down at my thighs picking bits of lint and sawdust off the material. He was quiet after that.

12:15 rolled around, I grabbed the keys to my personal car and popped back into his office to tell him I’m going on break, it was so nice on the short walk in the sun. I jumped in my black Mercedes sports car and made my way down the street, turning a few corners I parked outside the wethervane and locked the car before entering the cafe. Larissa wasn’t there yet, so I took a seat in a booth next to the large window with my back turned to the door.

Staring out the glass and watching the towns people walk about, some in tandem with each other holding hands, some parents with young children or strollers, a few elderly people walking in groups giving the impression of being friends for years going for a walk with their wife’s arms wrapped around there husbands. One in particular caught my attention, a young man who looks to be in his early 20s exiting the florist bearing a bunch of white roses, his demeanour riddled with nerves, he sat at a park bench close to the other side of the road, pulling out a little black box, he observed it for a moment before snapping it shut, than stood smoothing down his hair and blazer before walking away. A small smile crept on my face hoping all goes well for his next obvious destination, but it quickly faded in a realisation, which I wish to forget.

A hand on my shoulder ripped me out of my mind, turning my head around I see her. Larissa. A huge grin took over my face clearly out doing her small smile. “Afternoon violet.” She greeted. “Hi.” I responded sounding so high pitched I internally cringe at myself. Larissa placed her purse on the surprisingly unsticky table and takes a seat in front of me. “How are you darling.” She asked removing a black leather glove. “I’m alright, not particularly busy today which is pretty good but that just means the day will drag a lot longer, better now I’m here with you though.” I said, staring at her beautifully red painted nails. “Oh that’s horrible, you must get lonely in there by yourself no?” She stated. “It’s nice, but sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. Don’t you get lonely? Being in your office?” I asked wondering why she’d worry about me when I’m sure she’s in the same position. “Not at all, I have teachers, students, parents, groundskeepers and just about every other kind of person in and out all day, sometimes it gets so frustrating I put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on my door just for at least five minutes of peace.” She exhaled slightly rolling her eyes at the thought, I nodded in understanding, chuckling softly at her annoyance.

Idle conversations flowed between the two of us before we were politely interrupted by a waiter handing over two menus. “What are you having.” I asked her. “A chicken Cesar salad. You?- Oh and I’m paying by the way… you bought me things yesterday.” She stated. “There’s no need really.” I answered. “I insist what would you like.” She pushed. “Probably just a grilled cheese.” I said. “No. Don’t think I don’t know that’s the cheapest thing here, get what you want sweetheart.” My pulse skipped then ran faster at her new term of endearment, I felt like I was melting from the inside out. “Fine I’ll just have the same as you please.” I settled, displaying a shy smile. I didn’t care about the food really, I don’t plan on letting her see me as a naive and difficult thing who can’t pay for myself or play her as a fool, I guess that’s just what happens when you’re completely independent for a long period of time. “Are you sure? you can have anything.” She asked again. “Positive, thank you.” Larissa waved over the previous waiter and ordered for the both of us, we ate once our meals arrived and sat in comfortable silence.

Larissa did in fact pay, she left no room for argument and we both walked out together into the fresh, crisp air and warm sun. “Do you need to go back just yet?” She asked. “No I think having a break over half an hour would be fine considering how much overtime I do that I don’t get payed for.” I chuckled trying to come off lighthearted, but it sounded more bitter than I intended. “What do you mean? What are your allocated hours?” Larissa stoped the slow pace causing me to walk a little in front and turn around to face her concerns. “Allocated… 7:30 to 5, but I usually get to work around 5 and finish at 7.” I said furrowing my brows. “Why?” I ask. Larissa was silent for a moment. “So your telling me you work 12 to 13 hours every day? When your only supposed to be doing 9 and a half?” She asked incredulously. “Yes.” I said almost immediately realising that wouldn’t seem right or normal to anyone else who doesn’t know what it’s like to do my job. I laughed at her, not in a rude way but at her worry. “How do you do that!? You work almost 70 hours a week!” Her eyes growing widder with the facts she’s coming to know. “I’m fine. I manage.” I simply said turning to walk a bit more for her to follow, at this point there is no destination.

“You look gorgeous today, channel right?” I asked, pulling my hand out of my pocket to point at her outfit, a ploy for a change of subject. “Yes, thank you. How did you know that?” She asked. “Just like I know your heels are louboutins, your watch is Valentino, your bracelet it Cartier and your broach is probably the hardest to guess I’m not quite sure about that one, but I know your necklace is personally made. Oh and your pearl earrings are vintage Tiffany & co.” I stated proudly hoping I wasn’t wrong. “You continue to surprise me Violet. First your this strong independent woman who can build an entire house and the interior with you bare hands and now your a fashion expert, what else don’t I know?” She said with an amuse smile. “There is a lot you don’t know about me Larissa, but what ls the fun in letting you in on all my secrets just yet? Who knows, I could be very boring.” I giggled. She shook her head gently and placed her gloved hand on my arm. “You are the most interesting person I’ve been around for quite some time darling, I don’t believe you could ever be a bore.” At that i blushed furiously letting out a foggy exhale.

Larissa was the epitome of ethereal, the way her eyes look so piercing in the sunlight almost as if they were so blue they could be mistaken for white, her porcelain skin illuminated as well as her platinum hair. Right now her nose and cheeks are flushed red and her lips displaying the same shade she had painted on herself, I hoped anyway, their a little swollen due to the cold. “Hey, can I ask you a random question?” I asked timidly hoping it’s not to weird. “Of course you can.” She said. “Do you…ahhh, do you have…someone, like-.” I struggled to spit it out. “A girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, partner?… no sweetheart.” She continued on, laughing at my shy state. “Right… that what I was trying to say, and how is that, wouldn’t you have plenty of people lined up for you? surely.” I exaggerated. “So your a flatterer to I see.” She gasped feigning herself from being to serious.

About two seconds later Larissa looked away and her attention was taken by the front of the Jericho book shop and Library, she moved so quickly to snatch my wrist and drag me in the direction of the entrance. “Woah, you could have just asked me to come with you.” I just about snorted. “I’m sorry come on I haven’t been in her for ages, please!” The sparkle in her eyes showing unwavering hope. “Of course I’ll come I love books to ya know.” I grinned. “Well that’s another thing I just learned about you.” She said holding the door open for me.

It was so warm and cozy inside, the smell of a vanilla candle that was placed next to the register and the scent of paper was almost nostalgic, I hadn’t been in here for a while either. Larissa ended up in-front of me and I don’t think she realised she held out her hand behind her for me to take. After mild contemplation I took it, Larissa immediately tightened her grip, pulling me along with her to a section she clearly has been down before. She let go of my hand a crouched to the wooden floor removing her gloves again so she could feel the spines of the books.

Larissa was in her element, completely enraptured in her own world. I let her be and scanned the shelves above her, taking an interest to one that was a royal blue colour with gold embossed lettering, I placed my palm on her shoulder to stabilise myself and stood on my tip toes to reach it, admiring for a moment before I could read the blurb, Larissa gasped in excitement. “Yes, I found it!” She exclaimed. “What is it?” I asked. “I hid this book almost a year ago because I didn’t want to buy it at the time.” She said looking up at me. ‘she’s so bloody adorable.’

I helped her off the floor and we moved back to the register. “So what do you have?” She asked. “Um I think it’s a book of poetry, I flicked through it and read one, I like it.” I said. “You should read me one.” She smiled. Before I could respond a little lady with grey hair and a long green cardigan came walking behind the counter from what I assumed was the ‘back’. “Oh Larissa! How are you dear!?” She said surprised. “Francis! I’m well how are you?” She responded, it would be silly to think they weren’t aquatinted. “I’m doing ok, finally got that hip replacement back in may, working like I’m a teenager again.” She said. I quietly chuckled. “That’s wonderful.” Larissa replied placing her book on the counter. “And who’s this lovely lady with you?” She asked. “Oh forgive me, violet this is Francis, fran, this is violet, she’s making the new classroom cupboards for nevermore.” Larissa was almost proud to be able to introduce you to someone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I said holding out my hand for her to shake, instead she took ahold of my palm with one hand and placed her other on top. “Like wise dear. Your a hard worker I see.” She stated observing my hand. “Thank you?” I said unsure of how to respond.

Larissa stood to the side waiting for me to pay for my own book. “Oh this one’s good, perhaps you can read some to your girlfriend over there.” Francis said talking about the book and Larissa. My eyes were just about bulging out of my head at her words, I was rendered speechless. “Hush now Fran! I see your still cheeky as ever.” Larissa hissed. The elderly lady chortled at her with a shit eating grin. “Don’t you forget it. When you get old you tend not to hold your tongue.” She initially spoke to larissa than back to me. All I could do was stand there awkwardly, but praise her for not giving a fuck, I like her.

We exited the shop bidding the woman farewell and set off to back to our cars. “Sorry about that, I’ve known Francis since I was 14, she can be very brazen sometimes.” She said. “Don’t worry about it shes cute and hilarious… so you went to nevermore when you were at school?” I asked. “Yes, every weekend I’d go to the library part of the shop and sit for hours, than we’d exchange opinions on the books I’d read over a cup of tea.” She expressed clutching the book tighter to her chest. “That’s so sweet, I wish my childhood was that simple, I would have loved to have the freedom to Sit and read until I was to exhausted.” I said. “Well it wasn’t all that easy but I didn’t have to many friends to mingle with I suppose.” I felt a tinge of sadness at her confession, understanding what she means. “Nor did I, but I guess that’s why it’s so important to you now as headmistress right? To ensure all the kids are happy and safe?” I wondered. “Exactly.” She said pulling out her car keys while I simultaneously did the same. We both hit the unlock button to find we were parked right next to each other.

To our surprise we both had the same car, except hers was red. “Nice car.” I said. “Like wise.” She laughed. “Well I suppose this is goodbye.” Larissa said looking at me slightly saddened at the fact. “I suppose it is.” I retorted. Larissa stood peering into my eyes, her expression turned confused. “What?” I asked. “Your eyes…they’ve changed colour, I thought that yesterday, but now I’m sure.” She said hoping she didn’t sound to insane. “Yeah they do that, I don’t really know why, they go from blue, green, grey to blue grey to green blue, it’s weird but I find that when I’m tired my eyes are really blue and when I’m happy or focused they’re really green, almost like a mood ring.” I laughed. Larissa own eyes flickered between my own causing me to become short of breath. “It’s very interesting, very unique.” She said. “What are they now?” I whispered, Larissa seemed to be closer than I thought. “Green on the outside with a little bit of blue in the centre.” She matched my tone of voice. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and tilted my head down before exhaling and returning the gaze.

“So when will I see you again? Apart from the obvious work reasons.” I asked. “Would Friday night be ok, I could take you out for dinner?… if your not interested then that’s ok we could-.” Yes yes yes yes yes. “No! I’d love to just text me with plans yeah?” I wished I didn’t seem to overzealous. “Really? Alright than I will see you Friday.” She said. “Of course I’ll see you than.” And only than I did something I wish I could take back, something so stupid, so unprofessional. I leaned in a little closer and kissed her cheek, not like it was hard or strained, not even a millisecond went by for me to not look at her after, I all but ran to my car and shoved the keys into the ignition and turned it on ripping the gear stick into reverse to get the hell out of there. I did spare her a glance and and idiotic wave before practically speeding away.

Larissa stood there on the footpath shocked, blushing like one of her students, she returned the wave and set to get in her own vehicle. Sitting in the drivers seat hands clamped to the steering wheel, she let out a chesty giggle and a smile reaching her eyes. It was Larissa’s turn to feel like a giddy little girl. On her way back go nevermore I was the only thing on Larissa’s mind, by the time she arrived through the gates it was just after 2 pm, she would spend the rest of the day in a haze hardly concentrating.

Later that night she dragged a chair in front of her fireplace with a blanket adorned over her lap with her new book in hand and a glass of wine placed on the floor next to her, a relaxing evening to go along with an eventful afternoon. I was much the same, unlike the previous night I had enough energy to make something for dinner while standing in the kitchen with my own book, reading passages from it whilst stirring the food on the stove.

the eyes

are portals to

different worlds

this is why

we shut them in

beautiful moments.

Let’s just say both of our dreams that night were of each other and the next morning consisted of thoughts for Fridays dinner.

———

Just wait for the dinner;)

@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar @giogwensversion @sabraaabra

[neverwanttofallasleep]

A Need That Goes Unspoken - Chapter 3

Word count: 4,797

For pairings, warnings, and disclaimer - see Masterpost

thank you again @writingcold for your support x

a/n: please bear with me if the next few chapters take a bit longer to get out. life is happening - sorry! i will definitely finish this story and i'm still writing as we speak. just gotta make more time x

(this chapter contains explicit sexual content!)

You stare at yourself in the mirror for a long while. You turn to view every angle of your body, just to double-check you haven't got anything twisted or any strings tucked in. Although you and Sam are seemingly in some kind of ceasefire, you’re reluctant to give him any ammunition to tease you. You think you know where you stand, but one wrong look, or in this case one nip-slip, and you might be back to being the recipient of his juvenile bullying again.

Last night, Alex had practically force-fed you some grilled salmon and vegetables, and fussed over how much water you were drinking, before Eloise had given him the stink-eye and told him to back off. As you tried to help clear the plates, Josh shooed you away. Everyone was at your disposal, offering you cups of tea or medicine or shoulder rubs, which you bashfully declined. The only offer you did take up was a cigarette with Jake, which you held between your shaky fingers as the two of you hid sneakily around the side of the house.

You’d decided that after this, a shower would do you some good. Relax your muscles, wash your hair. Rinse the adrenaline and sweat from the accident off of you. Jake had agreed.

“I think a shower is a good idea.” He’d hummed, plucking the smoke from your fingers and taking a drag. “Ellie always encourages hot water after a sickness or injury.” He smiled dreamily. “She’s gonna be such a good nurse.”

You grinned. “Of course she is. You picked a good one, Jake.”

He smirked, looking you dead in the eyes as he handed you back the cigarette. “Honestly, I still can’t believe she picked me, y’know. Three years later and I still feel like the luckiest guy on the planet.”

You shook your head as you exhaled the smoke. “She’s as lucky as you are. You two were meant for each other.”

He frowned. “It’s gonna be harder this year. She was only like half an hour away when I was at home. Now I’m gonna be all over the place while she’s stuck in Saginaw.”

You petted his arm reassuringly. “You’ll visit each other. And you’re both living your dreams. At least she’s not dropping out like Alex.”

He huffed a laugh. “God, yeah. I’d never want her to do that. I’ll just miss her.”

You felt so warm for Jake. When you were around him and Eloise, you could feel the love rolling off them in literal waves. It was like watching a romance novel come to life.

Jake had taken the smoke from you again. “Stop hogging. Alex’ll have my balls if he catches us.”

You’d giggled.

He’d stomped on the butt a minute or so later, and peeped his head around the corner to check for your aforementioned brother before waving at you to follow him back into the house.

Josh, who was washing the dishes, had given you a ridiculously obvious stage wink as you both returned inside, but luckily, Alex was back in the garden with Danny and Ellie.

Phoebe gave you a soft smile from her post by the sink, dish towel in hand. “How are you feeling now, Y/N? Better now that you’ve had something to eat?”

Phoebe is the sweetest living creature. Like an angel, or a faerie, plucked from the sky and put onto earth. She looks like one too. Long, golden curls flowing down her back, always jingling with sparkly jewelry and radiant in floaty summer dresses. She definitely doesn’t act like she’s 17. You believe she was surely reincarnated from an old soul, ridiculously wise beyond her years.

She and Josh have a special relationship, which is unsurprising for three reasons. One, everyone loves Josh. Two, everyone loves Phoebe. And three, Josh, despite his chaotic theatricality and the fact that his head is often stuck in the clouds, is a fierce protector of his brothers, Danny included. Anyone that enters the Kiszka orbit must first go through Josh, and he can be a force to be reckoned with, when he wants to be. 

This is true for Jake, too, in a different way. He’s a quiet observer, and he’s too kind to ever really show contempt for anyone. Despite his shyness, he’s extremely attentive, always noticing things that others miss. He’s the calm to Josh’s storm, which makes perfect sense, when you think about it.

Both twins (and you assume Sam, although you weren’t paying any attention to him) took a shine to Phoebe the moment they met her, which was, coincidentally, the night Danny met her, too. You knew that for a fact, because you’d been there. It was at one of the band’s gigs in a dive bar, about eight months ago. Alex had dragged you along, sneaking you both through the back, much to your dismay. Once you heard them play properly, though, you had to admit they were quite good. Phoebe had been twirling around to the music like some sort of Stevie Nicks-esque goddess, and Danny couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He’d offered her a drink and introduced her to his brothers, to their great delight, and the rest is history.

Despite your being estranged from Danny and the Kiszkas and not getting to see much of her, the times you have spent with Phoebs are imprinted on your brain like a tattoo. She is endlessly kind, creative, sweet, and smart. You envy her, but you love her.

You’d nodded in response. “Yeah, dinner definitely helped.”

She’d smiled sweetly at you. “Let me know if I can do anything for you, babe.” 

“Thanks, Phoebs. Still sore, but, you know. I’m actually about to have a shower, so hopefully that’ll help.”

Josh had gestured his head toward the bathroom as he pulled the plug from the sink. “Sam’s in there now. But we’re gonna head back outside, so it’s all yours next.”

You’d nodded.

Jake grabbed a couple of seltzers from the fridge and Josh followed him outside like a little puppy. Twins, you’d smiled to yourself. Like magnets. 

Phoebe dried the last plate and stacked it next to the sink, hanging up the towel neatly, humming to herself. Not a care in the world. As she went to follow the boys outside, she turned back to face you, where you were still standing dumbly in the middle of the kitchen, off in your daydreams.

“Things still tense with you-know-who?” She’d asked you. Her voice is lilty, like a wind chime.

You shrugged. “Yeah, think so. Who knows, maybe we’ve trauma-bonded.”

She’d giggled. “Nothing brings people together like fear.”

You heard some semblance of truth in her words. Knowing Phoebe, she probably wasn’t being sarcastic. She has a very optimistic view of the world.

“I’ll be outside if you need me.” She’d smiled, and flitted out the door.

You’d sat in your room until you heard the sound of the bathroom door open, and the door to the bunk room close. You grabbed some fresh pajamas and strode across the living room, reenergised from your food, and anxious for the steam to relax your aching muscles. 

As you went to grab the bathroom door handle, the door next to it opened, too. You saw Sam properly for the first time since he left the truck. His hair was wet, once again, and he was wearing pajama shorts and a white t-shirt. He didn’t look great, if you were honest. He had circles under his eyes he was moving very stiffly, as you imagined you were, too. You made steady eye contact, and held it for a moment, unsure how to proceed.

“Are you okay?” You’d whispered.

“Been better. But I’ll live.” He turned his body further toward you and gave a weird, small smile. “You?”

“I’m fine. Alex has been fussing over me but I’m really okay. Just a headache and sore all over.” You gestured to the back of your head. You were word-vomiting, because you didn’t know how to navigate this. This might have been the first civil conversation you and Sam had shared in three years, if you didn’t count the one in the truck earlier. 

You’d looked him up and down. “Did you get hurt?”

He gave an extremely small, reluctant nod. Barely a tip of his chin. “There wasn’t a headrest on my side.”

You’d felt your face drain of color, and you gasped. “Your neck! Sam, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He frowned. “Couldn’t really feel it at the time.”

You were feeling so, so guilty. “I’m so fucking sorry.” You’d had to hold back the urge to place your hand on the side of his neck, to soothe him in some way.

“It’s alright, Y/N. Wasn’t your fault. Could’ve happened to anyone.”

You’d shaken your head. “I know. But I should’ve been paying more attention. Braked earlier. Checked to make sure you were alright after. I was so useless.” You felt a tear beginning to slide down your cheek, and now you had another emotion to contend with. On top of feeling like the worst person on the planet, being the one person Sam disliked so much, and also getting him into a car accident and giving him whiplash, now you were embarrassed for crying in front of him.

“We’ll be fine.” He’d tried to smile at you, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

He’d padded away to the fridge to get himself some water as you quickly shut yourself in the bathroom. You were so conflicted. There was a part of you that wanted to scold yourself for worrying about Sam. He was going to be fine, just like you. No blood, no permanent injuries. Just a shitty thing you went through together, and that didn’t change the fact that he was a dick to you. But another part of you wanted to comfort him, share his pain. You did, after all, go through it together. And you did, unfortunately, still care about him, and want for his safety and happiness. You hated that. He obviously didn’t give a fuck about you, so why did you give a fuck about him?

You’re thinking the same thing now, as you stand in the same bathroom, staring at yourself in your bathing suit. Yesterday was horrible, but it’s over. You’re still sore, but it’s starting to fade. Would you and Sam go back to being mortal enemies now that a new sun has risen? You hope not, but at the same time, why wouldn’t you? Would it feel more normal if he started picking on you again? It’s not like you’ve made any kind of incredible, emotional breakthrough. You checked on each other last night, did your due diligence. Maybe that’s all it was.

A moment later, you get your answer.

“Can you hurry the fuck up in there? Some of us also need to use the bathroom.”

Your face immediately drops into a sneer. “Can’t you go upstairs?”

“No,” comes the reply, affronted.

You huff, pulling your dress back over your bathing suit, and swing open the door.

“You need to learn some patience.” You spit at Sam. God, maybe the prospect of a truce and then having it pulled out from under your feet was making you more fiery than normal.

“You need to learn how to be faster in the goddamn bathroom.” He fires back, looking you up and down with a nasty smirk. “This isn’t a fucking sorority.”

“Fuck you, Sam.” You growl and push past him, back to the safety of the sunroom.

Christ. Ceasefire over. This is war.

You get a hard ‘no’ from Alex as you begin to pull the cooler out of the back of Jake’s Jeep.

“Don’t you dare. You’re not carrying anything.” He scolds you, attempting to pry your fingers from the handle.

“I’m fine.” You groan. “Sam’s carrying a chair.” You add under your breath, not wanting to draw his attention.

“Sam’s not my sister.” Alex clips back. “If he wants to end up in a neck brace, that’s his prerogative.”

You smirk at that, finding the image of Sam in a neck brace crudely satisfying.

You relent, dropping your hand, and begin the short trek through the grass onto the sand.

You fucking love the beach. Like, insanely love it. If you had to pick your top three places on earth, it would be, in order: the beach, the Eiffel Tower (having never been, but you’ve always wanted to), and the Frankenmuth library.

The beach at Oscoda, on the shore of Lake Huron, which is so expansive it could easily be mistaken for an ocean, is your absolute favorite. You must’ve really blocked it out of your memory, because looking at it now, it’s even more beautiful than you remember. Sparkling blue water, almost-white sand, the little pier stretching out into the shallows. There are small children splashing about and parents sitting under umbrellas. It’s like heaven.

You hear Josh call from behind you. He and Sam are pulling things out of the cooler onto one of the picnic tables under the trees, which must have a perfect view of the water.

“Drink, Y/N?”

“Just one!” Alex calls from the car.

You roll your eyes, and Josh winks.

“Yes, please. Did we bring seltzers?” You ask, and he grins, pulling one out and walking toward you.

He hands you the drink and you both turn back to look over the water.

“Gorgeous, isn’t she?” He muses.

“I forgot how much so.” You reply dreamily.

Josh smirks at you cheekily, tugging at the hem of his tank top. “Race you in?”

You shriek and giggle as you slide off your sandals, whip your dress over your head, dump it onto the sand and your unopened can and sunglasses on top of it, and sprint for the water. Josh is barely a hair behind you, and as you both splash deeper into the waves, he grabs your waist and pulls you under with him.

You spend an extremely pleasant moment fully submerged, the ice-cold water piercing your skin in the best way possible, before emerging and whipping your hair back out of your eyes. Josh does the same.

“Oh, it’s so much warmer today!” He exclaims.

“Warmer?” You reply, shocked. “It’s freezing!”

He shakes his head. “It’s perfect.”

You grin, splashing each other and swimming around.

In your peripheral, you see Jake and Danny running for the water. They came with the girls in Ellie’s car, while Josh drove Jake’s, and must’ve arrived minutes after you, but they’ve certainly wasted no time. They shove each other as they approach, and eventually Danny’s sheer size causes Jake to tumble forward under the waves.

You all laugh as he pops back up, performing a much more impressive hair flick than Josh.

“This is what summer’s all about!” Danny declares. He paddles up to put an arm around your shoulders. “So glad you came, Y/N. Wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

You blush. “Thanks, Danny. I’m glad I’m here too.”

You look back toward the table. You see Alex and the girls heading toward your group, their feet just barely in the water. You’ve managed to get quite far from the shore in a short amount of time, but you can still just make out Sam, sitting at the table, sunglasses on. You wonder if he’s looking at you, before shaking the thought away. Why would he? Perhaps to make a mental list of things to tease you about. You scowl.

You all spend an enjoyable amount of time splashing around in the cool water. After a few minutes, you become completely acclimatized, and it now feels like a very pleasant temperature.

Danny and Jake get Phoebe and Eloise up on their shoulders and the girls have a very impressive chicken fight, with Ellie ending up getting thrown off, laughing all the way down. As he pulls her up out of the water, Jake complains that Danny has a height advantage, to which Ellie wraps her petite arms around Jake’s neck and says, “You’re the perfect height for me, baby. Wouldn’t want you any other way.”

Jake looks absolutely smitten with that, and they begin kissing, while Danny and Alex cat-call, and Josh makes fake gagging noises.

“Okay, food and drinks time!” Phoebe proclaims, and everyone follows her, trudging back toward the shore.

You hang back, wanting to enjoy the serenity alone for just a bit longer. You lay back and float, closing your eyes, and letting the gentle current pull you around a little. You think about Sam. You try not to, but that just makes it worse.

You hate that after all these years, less than two days in his proximity has brought back all these feelings. You want to hate him, because he hates you. But you can’t. You can’t erase the memory of the boy who gave you his ice cream when yours fell out of the cone, the boy who helped you ride a bike for the first time, the boy who let you have the bottom bunk even though he was scared, too. He’s still in there, and you saw a glimpse of him yesterday, when he put his hand on your knee and waited for you to breathe normally again. You’d never admit it to anyone, hell, you can barely admit it to yourself, but you know you’d do anything for another glimpse.

You hear Alex and Josh calling your name from the table and you bring yourself upright again.

“Coming!” You call back, as you begin to wade your way back into shore.

You catch Sam’s eye as you walk through the sand, sliding your sandals back onto your feet. At least, you think you do. It’s hard to tell with his sunglasses on. He has a very strange look on his face.

“What, no snarky comment?” You snap at him. “Not gonna tell me I have a wedgie or something?”

He schools his expression into something disdainful, and does something extremely childish. He pokes his tongue out at you. 

You have to bite back the giggle that threatens to burst. You won that round.

You sit down at the table next to Danny and run your eyes over the spread in front of you. Another one of Josh’s famous cheeseboards, this one supplemented with fruit and cured meats, too. Your mouth waters. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot something, and you break out into a huge grin.

“Josh!” You exclaim, reaching for the jar of pickles. “Thank you! When did you even get these?”

Josh gives you a funny look, glancing around the table before giving you an equally enthusiastic smile.

“That’s my little secret.”

You grin as you twist the top open and pull out a spear, taking a huge, crunchy bite. You hum with contentment, your eyes slipping closed.

“Fuck, yeah.”

Everyone chuckles. Well, almost everyone.

Your little group spends a very pleasant couple of hours down at the beach. You all take another dip in the water, sunbathe a bit, and polish off the snacks. You help Danny and Phoebe build a ridiculously lopsided sand castle, before the water rises and a small wave pulls it all down.

Every time you try to sneak a glance at Sam, his eyes are on you, accompanied by a scowl. You quickly look away. He’s quiet and stays under the trees for most of the outing, and you can only assume he’s trying to behave in front of his brothers, while making his mental list of ways to torment you later. He’s impossible. 

As you help Josh pack up, you can’t help yourself. You sneakily stare at Sam as he walks, alone, down to the water and submerges himself. You try not to look as he reemerges, face to the sky, as the water streams in tiny rivulets from the tips of his hair down his golden chest. You wish he didn’t look so damn good. And you wish you didn’t feel a pang of guilt and empathy when you notice how stiffly he’s still moving.

You let yourself dry out in the sun on the back porch when you return home. The girls sit by your sides, towels splayed out underneath you, as you let the rays warm your face and body.

Alex wordlessly places a bottle of sunscreen on the decking next to you, and you give him a dirty look.

After a little while of tanning and gossiping, Jake appears at the back door, drinks in hand.

“Ladies.” He offers, holding the glasses out for the three of you.

“Did you make us cocktails, baby?” Ellie exclaims as he leans down to give her a kiss.

“Sure did.” He brushes her hair back from her face. “Anything for my girl. Girls.” He blushes.

Their love-fest would almost be nauseating, if it wasn’t so damn perfect.

After your reluctance to come on this holiday, and the traumatic events of yesterday, you’re actually surprised at how happy you feel to be here, now. Sam could sulk in his bedroom and give you dirty looks all he wanted, but you’re resolved not to let it ruin your trip.

After another late dinner and a few rounds of beer pong in the backyard, everyone starts to say their goodnights and head off to their respective rooms. There seems to be a sleepy, sunkissed aura around the house. You do your rounds, thanking everyone for a lovely day (except Sam, obviously, who’s been mysteriously absent since dinner and presumably already in bed).

You decide it’s finally time to shower and wash the sand out of your hair, so you grab your pajamas and pad quietly through the dark living room. Not a second after you’ve shut yourself in the bathroom and pulled your dress over your head, there’s a knock on the door.

“Occupied!” You call.

The door opens anyway, and Sam steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and leaning back against it, eyes on you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You whisper-shout at him, covering your bathing suit with your arms.

He doesn’t reply, and you cannot, for the life of you, deduce the look on his face.

“Sam, this isn’t funny. Get the fuck out. I’m trying to shower.”

He’s silent, but he takes a step toward you, crowding in on you in the small space. You feel your pulse begin to quicken, a sneer plastered on your face. You feel… afraid? What is this?

“What are you doing?” You say again, but again he doesn’t reply. He is staring at you with so much intensity, you start to feel claustrophobic.

“Why were you staring at me at the beach? Have you been cataloging horrible things to say to me?” You smirk, mostly to yourself. You know you were right.

He doesn't respond, but you see a flicker of a smile on his mouth. He’s so close to you now. Your toes are almost touching.

“Why do you hate me, Sam? What the fuck happened to us?”

He takes a step closer to you, but he still doesn’t say anything.

You feel your heart begin to race. Is he about to hit you? Scream in your face?

“What are you doing?” You ask quietly, for a third time.

He steps even closer, his knee bumping your thigh as he plants a foot between yours.

“Sam, what’s going on?” Your voice is barely a whisper now. You feel a strange fluttering in your throat.

Sam does something completely unexpected. He places a hand on your chest, pushing you back until your ass hits the bathroom counter. You just stare at him. He lifts other his hand to your chin, ghosting his fingertips across your bottom lip. You let out a small gasp. In the millisecond that your lips are open, he crams his two middle fingers into your mouth.

“Can you just shut up for. One. Fucking. Second?”

Your eyes are wide as saucers, staring into his. You nod.

He breathes a deep sigh, as if what he’s about to tell you is physically painful for him. As if he hasn’t physically restrained you. “I was staring at you at the beach, because…” he frowns, and runs his eyes down your body. “Because you look so fucking hot in that bathing suit."

You take in a sharp breath around his fingers. You don’t know how to react to what he’s saying. He thought you were hot?

“Did you wear that just to spite me?” He’s almost growling at you.

You shake your head. Your saliva is starting to drip down your chin, but something about it is obscenely erotic. Your heart is hammering in your chest. You don’t have a single clue what is transpiring between the two of you at this current moment. All you know is that you don’t want him to remove his hand. He’s completely invading your senses. Everything is just Sam. Sam. Sam.

“I fucking hate what you do to me.” He breathes, looking down at the floor.

You just stare at the top of his head. It’s as if he’s forgotten that you can’t respond. You can feel the redness burning in your cheeks, sweat beading on your neck, heartbeat thundering under his palm. Your arms have dropped, limp by your sides.

He looks up at you again. You can see that his breathing has sped up. His pupils are blown wide. Is Sam Kiszka turned on by you?

“You are so fucking beautiful.” He says it like he’s angry about it.

You don’t even recognize the sound coming out of you when you whimper, and he withdraws his fingers from your mouth. They’re dripping with your spit, and he slides his hand down to wrap them loosely around your throat. His eyes flick between yours, and for a split second, he looks earnest.

“Do you want this?”

You don’t even take a second to think before breathing, “Yes.”

His mouth crashes down on yours, hard. It’s all teeth and tongue, and before you can even blink, you’re reciprocating. What the fuck is happening? You’re so turned on, every part of you that connects with him is tingling.

His grip on your throat becomes tighter, and his other hand slides down your stomach to grip at your hip, his long fingers digging into your skin. It hurts deliciously.

You flail your arms until one of your hands is knotted firmly in his hair, the other gripping the nape of his neck.

You make a small noise into his mouth and he hums in agreement. Roughly, and without ceremony, he slides his hand down to palm at your breast, as his lips drag across your jaw and down your neck. He bites down, hard. You whimper.

“Fuck.” He murmurs into your skin.

You can feel his erection pressing into your hipbone, and in a startling moment of clarity, you realize that you’re kissing Sam. Your Sam. This can’t be real.

He slides the hand on your hip around to grab a handful of your ass, as the other pushes into the front of your bikini bottoms. He roughly circles your clit with his fingertips as he brings his mouth back to yours, sinking his teeth into your lip. You clench your jaw to keep from whining.

You grip his forearm as he continues to touch you, sliding his fingers through you before pushing them inside. He pumps relentlessly as his thumb takes over your clit, his eyes darting between yours.

You moan, throwing your head back and lowering your arms to grip the edge of the counter. Fuck, this feels so good.

You want to touch him, too, but you can’t. You’re too wrapped up in your own bliss.

You feel yourself begin to clench around his fingers and you lean your face down into his neck, moaning breathily into his ear.

“You gonna come for me?” He grunts.

You make an affirmative noise in the form of a whine as you unravel, your limbs shaking and teeth sinking into his collarbone.

You lean against him, panting, for a few moments, before he abruptly removes his hand from you. He wipes his fingers on his jeans and steps away.

“Do you want -” You begin, but he cuts you off.

“No.” He frowns, turns, and leaves.

You lean back into the counter, pulse still racing, legs heavy, as you try to piece together what’s just happened. Sam just gave you the fastest orgasm of your life, and then walked out, with no explanation.

What the fuck was that?

@ohgodthefeeling-gvf @profitofthedune @sinarainbows @klarxtr @jakesgrapejuice @gretavangroupie @mackalah @clairesjointshurt @writingcold @alwaysonthemend @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @hi-hi-hello11 @dont-go-home-without-me @gvfpal @freefallthoughts @m0uthfl13s @violet-hayes @godly-sinsx

Message me if you'd like to be added/removed from my tag list!

[raplinesmoon]

hi everyone, i just wanted to come on here and make this post. like a lot of you, i’ve been deeply affected by what’s been going on in Gaza the past few weeks. It has quite literally altered my brain and the way i’ve been able to live my life day-to-day. even though i’m not Palestinian, i’ve grown up learning about the fight for Palestinian liberation. my real name (bless my parents), literally references the land of Palestine.

i know there’s a lot of grief in our hearts, watching genocide happen live on our screens in front of our very eyes. It’s heavy and it’s traumatic and the human body isn’t built to withstand this much grief and trauma without it fundamentally altering us. I’ve been struggling a lot with my grief recently, and how to make sense of it, and in doing so, i’ve tried to challenge myself that whenever i need a “break” from the news, or i just need to do something that makes me fundamentally human (like watching a movie, listening to music, making food), i’m going to try and engage with content from Palestinian creatives as a way to stay dialed in and to never stop speaking up. i thought i’d share some of what i’ve been engaging with in order to keep learning about Palestine and its people, and to make sure their voices are always heard.

disclaimer: this list is not meant to be comprehensive or exhaustive, as I still have a lot to look through, but feel free to reblog with your own additions!

Read:

A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum - In Brooklyn, eighteen-year-old Deya is starting to meet with suitors. Though she doesn’t want to get married, her grandparents give her no choice. History is repeating itself: Deya’s mother, Isra, also had no choice when she left Palestine as a teenager to marry Adam. Though Deya was raised to believe her parents died in a car accident, a secret note from a mysterious, yet familiar-looking woman makes Deya question everything she was told about her past. As the narrative alternates between the lives of Deya and Isra, she begins to understand the dark, complex secrets behind her community.

The author just released a new novel, Evil Eye, which is also on my to-read list.

Against The Loveless World by Susan Abulhawa - As Nahr sits, locked away in solitary confinement, she spends her days reflecting on the dramatic events that landed her in prison in a country she barely knows. Born in Kuwait in the 70s to Palestinian refugees, she dreamed of falling in love with the perfect man, raising children, and possibly opening her own beauty salon. Instead, the man she thinks she loves jilts her after a brief marriage, her family teeters on the brink of poverty, she’s forced to prostitute herself, and the US invasion of Iraq makes her a refugee, as her parents had been. After trekking through another temporary home in Jordan, she lands in Palestine, where she finally makes a home, falls in love, and her destiny unfolds under Israeli occupation.

Susan Abulhawa is also the author of Mornings in Jenin, a fantastic novel that describes the Nakba (Catastrophe) of 1948, in which 750,000 Palestinians were expelled from their homes by the Occupation Forces, and The Blue Between Sky and Water, a story about four generations of a Palestinian family in a refugee camp in Gaza.

Salt Houses by Hala Aylan - On the eve of her daughter Alia’s wedding, Salma reads the girl’s future in a cup of coffee dregs. She sees an unsettled life for Alia and her children; she also sees travel, and luck. While she chooses to keep her predictions to herself that day, they will all soon come to pass when the family is uprooted in the wake of the Six-Day War of 1967.  Salma is forced to leave her home in Nablus; Alia’s brother gets pulled into a politically militarized world he can’t escape; and Alia and her gentle-spirited husband move to Kuwait City, where they reluctantly build a life with their three children. When Saddam Hussein invades Kuwait in 1990, Alia and her family once again lose their home, their land, and their story as they know it, scattering to Beirut, Paris, Boston, and beyond. Soon Alia’s children begin families of their own, once again navigating the burdens (and blessings) of assimilation in foreign cities.

The Beauty of Your Face by Sahar Mustahfah - Afaf Rahman, the daughter of Palestinian immigrants, is the principal of a Muslim school in the Chicago suburbs. One morning, a shooter—radicalized by the online alt-right—attacks the school. As Afaf listens to his terrifying progress, we are swept back through her memories, and into a profound and “moving” (Bustle) exploration of one woman’s life in a nation at odds with its ideals.

Light In Gaza (anthology) - Light in Gaza is a seminal, moving and wide-ranging anthology of Palestinian writers and artists. It constitutes a collective effort to organize and center Palestinian voices in the ongoing struggle. As political discourse shifts toward futurism as a means of reimagining a better way of living, beyond the violence and limitations of colonialism, Light in Gaza is an urgent and powerful intervention into an important political moment.

E-Book is available for free on Haymarket Books’ website!

The Butterfly’s Burden by Mahmoud Darwish - The Butterfly's Burden combines the complete text of Darwish's two most recent full-length volumes, linked by the stunning memoir-witness poem “A State of Siege.” Love poems, sonnets, journal-like distillations, and interlaced lyrics balance old literary traditions with new forms, highlighting loving reflections alongside bitter longing.

Orientalism by Edward Saïd - In this wide-ranging, intellectually vigorous study, Said traces the origins of "orientalism" to the centuries-long period during which Europe dominated the Middle and Near East and, from its position of power, defined "the orient" simply as "other than" the occident. This entrenched view continues to dominate western ideas and, because it does not allow the East to represent itself, prevents true understanding.

THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS I’VE EVER READ

Watch:

Farha (2021) - After persuading her father to continue her education in the city, a Palestinian girl's dream is shattered by the harrowing developments of the Nakba.

Born In Gaza (2014) - The documentary follows the story of about ten children who tell what their daily life is like after the horror of the war on Gaza in the summer of 2014.

Omar (2013) - Arrested after the death of an Israeli soldier, a Palestinian baker agrees to work as an informant, but his true motives and alliances remain hidden.

Mo (2022) - Mo Najjar straddles the line between two cultures, three languages and a ton of foolishness as a Palestinian refugee constantly living one step away from asylum on the path to U.S. citizenship.

Listen: 

Saint Levant - born Marwan Abdelhamid, is a Palestinian/French/Algerian/Serbian artist based in California. He was born in Jerusalem during the second Intifada due to complications in the city where he would eventually spend his childhood years – the Gaza Strip.

Check out: From Gaza, With Love

Nehmasis - Nemahsis is the stage name of Nemah Hasan, a Palestinian Canadian pop singer from Toronto, Ontario

Check out: i wanna be your right hand

Zeyne - Zeyne is a Jordanian/Palestinian singer, songwriter and musician. A voice passed down from her grandmother down to her mother and then to her, 'songbird' zeyne seeks to create music that shares her truths and perspectives in the hopes of connecting with others worldwide.

Check out: Balak

Belly -Ahmad Balshe, known professionally as Belly, is a Palestinian-Canadian rapper, singer, songwriter, and record producer. Born in Jenin, Balshe was raised in Ottawa.

Check out: Xion

Eat:

Mxriyum - Mariam is a Palestinian home cook behind the ever popular account TikTok and Instagram, Mxriyum. 

Heifa (fufuinthekitchen) - I’m a first-generation Palestinian American raised in NJ but now calls Chicago home. I am the founder, recipe developer, and food photographer behind Fufu’s Kitchen. And if you are wondering, Fufu is my nickname-it just stuck!

Hanan Saeed (palestinianfoodie)

Joudie Kalla - Joudie Kalla is a Palestinian-British chef and food writer. She is the author of two prizewinning cookbooks, Palestine on a Plate: Memories from My Mother’s Kitchen, and Baladi: A Celebration of Food from Land and Sea, and has featured in venues like The New York Times, The Guardian, and Al Jazeera

Shop:

Nominal - co-founded by Lena Sarsour, a Palestinian, Nominal creates Arabic-inspired jewelry. They are currently donating 100% of proceeds to Pious Projects, an on-the-ground aid organization working in Gaza, until October 31, 2023. 

PaliRoots - Founded in 2016, the PaliRoots mission is to bring awareness to the world about the Palestinian culture by crafting specialty products inspired by its people and identity. They work with Middle East Children’s Alliance (MECA), to donate a meal to children in Gaza for every order.

West Bank Apparel - West Bank Apparel was established in 2014, guided by a singular mission: to offer our customers products that resonate with a sense of purpose and contribution to a greater cause. They work with Islamic Relief USA to donate a portion of each sale to various charities providing meals and aid in Palestine.

[eufezco]

DREAM OF A LIFETIME – E.M. x FEM!READER

REQUEST - I had a story idea and only if your comfortable with it ok here it goes ; what if Eddie Munson got y/n pregnant and y/n starts to become distant and Eddie asks someone from the group why she’s being distant and kind of avoiding him ( maybe Nancy , robin , or Steve ) and on of them tell Eddie and he comforts y/n basically letting her know he’s gonna be there and that she has nothing to worry about ( kind of like a fluff) stupid idea but im throwing it out there ?

english isn't my first language

Dry. That was the perfect word to describe your farewell with Eddie before him, Nancy, Robin and Steve got into the boat and dove into the Lover's Lake. Then Max's plan to distract the cops went awfully bad and now you were sitting in between Lucas and Dustin at the Wheeler's house, two cops in front of you three wanting to know what you were doing in a restricted area but all you could think about was if by this time your friends and Eddie were alive. Of course, the cops knew you were lying thanks to how incoherent your alibi was, and they took Max to a separate room to interrogate her first.

"Please, if you feel something weird, put the headphones on." You were worried about leaving her alone, the girl was mad but still understood the danger and nodded. You decided to wait for her sitting on the couch while Dustin, Lucas, and a curious Erica moved to the kitchen for some privacy. You could hear the loud whispers of Dustin from the living room and you hoped the parents were actually focused on the conversation they were having and not on the one going on in the kitchen. You felt your stomach hurting, the sensation going down your legs and making them stand up from the couch, catching the parents' attention, as you ran to the bathroom. You kneeled in front of the toilet and you vomited everything you ate that day. Tears formed in your eyes when you couldn't throw up anymore but your body thought otherwise, the retching making your whole body shake. The thought of Eddie being in danger, plus, how your relationship had been going these past days and your state weren't helping you to come down. "Y/n? Are you okay?" Dustin knocked on the door. "Yeah, I— I just need a minute." You started throwing up again, this time the vomit was just pure water since you didn't have anything solid in your body anymore. Dustin frowned at the other side of the door. "Do you need me to come in?" You immediately responded with a 'no' to his offer. The last thing you wanted was to have Dustin holding your hair in a ponytail while your pregnant self threw up every nutrient in your body. You trusted the kid, but it was just too embarrassing.

You flushed the toilet and washed your hands. You also rinsed your mouth and washed your face. God, how could you've been so stupid? You loved Eddie, he was the love of your life and you've been pushing him away these last days. How much your life could change overnight? You were pregnant and Eddie was in another dimension, accused of murder and risking his life for a town that hated him. You got out of the bathroom, the door of the room where the two cops were interrogating Max still closed. You bumped into Dustin who apparently had been waiting for you outside the bathroom since he went to check up on you. "Damn, you look like shit. Are you sure you're okay?" You nodded. A part from the pregnancy and the fact that your relationship with Eddie was falling apart because of you, you were completely fine. Without any words, you and Dustin walked to the kitchen where Erica and Lucas were waiting.

"Are you sure you saw them going through Watergate?" You rolled your eyes when Lucas asked one more time. "Okay, okay..." When Max thought it was a good idea to make a scene to give the ones in the boat more time, you stayed hidden on the Lover Lake's bank. You saw Nancy dive in after Steve was pulled to the depths of the lake, you saw Robin jumping with no hesitation after Nancy and you saw Eddie showing you a warm smirk and jumping into the lake too. You were ready to swim to him, your shoes were touching the water when you were caught by the cops too. Dustin explained to you all the crazy things they've come up with while you were in the bathroom. More gates? Hive mind? Wow.

"Hey. Eddie." Steve did a little run to catch up the metal head who was just a couple of feet ahead of him. Eddie slowed down when he heard Harrington calling his name. "Listen, I just wanted to say thanks for saving my ass back there."

"Shit. You saved your own ass man." Steve shook his head. "It's very metal, what you did. That's all I'm saying. Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on the matter, in fact. I guess I couldn't accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude."

"Henderson said that?" Eddie raised his eyebrows, surprised by the fact that Steve doubted how much Dustin admired him. "Shit, yeah. And not only Henderson, y/n adores you too. What did you do to make them put you on this pedestal? Steve Harrington can't be all of the things they say. Rich parents, popular, chicks love him and not a douche?"

"Well, I used to be a douche. Dustin and I didn't know each other at that time, but y/n and I did and sometimes I don't even know why she still wants to be friends with me."

There was silence before Eddie asked. "Do you know if something is wrong with her?" Steve frowned, acting as if he didn't know anything. "Why?"

Steve looked to Eddie out of the corner of his eye, the metalhead with his eyes locked on the ground, being careful to not step on one of the tentacles as he explained to him what has been things with you like for the past few days. Was he overshearing? He barely knew Steve. He knew that Harrington was your friend when you were kids but you distanced yourselves when he started with his King Steve bullshit and that three years ago you and he started hanging out again. He knew that Steve cared about you, Eddie wanted to believe that not as much as he did, but that wasn't probably true. Eddie knew that Steve knew so much more about what had been going on in your life these last days than he did, and he knew that Steve wouldn't tell him that easily. "I know that she's your best friend, but if she's gonna break up with me, I'd really appreciate if you—"

"Shit. She's not gonna break up with you, man. Why would she do something like that?"

"Well, she barely talks to me and she never visits the boathouse anymore unless she comes with you guys." Steve didn't say a word. It was true that it didn't sound good, and he now understood why Eddie thought you were going to leave him. "She's not going to break up with you." Steve repeated and started walking faster. Eddie stopped walking, watching Harrington getting away from him. Eddie walked towards Steve. "You gotta tell me what happens." Even though it seemed like Eddie was demanding to know, Steve caught the desperation in his voice. "I'm not the one to."

"She's not gonna tell me."

"I'm sure she will. Eventually."

"When is 'eventually', Steve? When this fucking Vecna has killed us all? If we don't beat this mother fucker, I'm not gonna be able to come back to society. Do you think she's gonna tell me by that time? Or she's gonna wait a little longer?" Steve clenched his jaw at Eddie's ironic tone. "Does she thinks I did that to Chrissy, doesn't she?"

"What the fuck man." Steve stopped walking all of a sudden, Eddie did the same. Robin and Nancy's attention was caught by Steve's flashlight lighting the trees instead of the path to the Wheeler's house. Steve shook his free hand to the two women for them to keep walking as he realigned the flashlight, lighting their way. "She's pregnant, okay? She's not thinking about breaking up with you nor throwing you under the bus. She's so scared and you're wanted by the police for something we all know you didn't do. So call me crazy, Eddie, but she's been having a lot to worry to visit the fucking boathouse, don't you think?"

Eddie was petrified. Steve started walking again while Eddie stood there in the dark for a few seconds more. His mouth was dry and his legs felt week. "Come on, Eddie!" Steve shouted making the boy behind him come out of his shock and take a few steps faster to catch Harrington. Nancy and Robin opened the door to the Wheeler's house.

"Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler." Was all Robin could say. The house was dark, the floor, the walls, every piece of furniture was covered with tentacles. "Come on. I don't want to stay here longer than we have to." Eddie agreed on that one. His stomach was queasy, he imagined million things but never that you were distant because you were pregnant.

"So, you're telling us that Vecna's opening more gates?"

"Exactly. And he won't stop."

Eddie and Steve were about to go upstairs when they heard your voices. They looked at each other and Steve used the flashlight to lighten up the dark living room, but no one was there. They both looked at each other again and rapidly went down the few stairs they had climbed.

"They're here. Y/n and Dustin are here!" Steve announced shouting to the two girls upstairs. Eddie called your name unstopping, looking for you all over the Wheeler's living room. He could hear your voice, but the sound was indistinct, like you were inside of the walls. "This is bad." Nancy announced, going down the stairs along with Robin. The two boys stopped looking for you and Henderson and threw a look to each other before focusing on what Nancy was saying. "My guns. They are not here-"

"Maybe you left them somewhere else—"

"There's a six-year-old in the house. I know where I keep my guns. Plus, my diary should be full of entries, the last one that appears on it is from November 6th, 1983." Eddie could feel like not enough air was getting to his laungs. He still could hear your voice and by the look on the two girls' faces as their eyes tried to find the place from where the voices came, they could hear you as well. "Does that mean—"

"We're in the past."

You were sitting at the table, Lucas by your side and Erica in front of you as Dustin kept rambling, walking back and forth, and getting to crazy conclusions that at that point no one except for him understood. Your breathing was slow as you tried to control yourself to not puke again. One of your legs bounced nervously under the table, your fingers intertwined as you took deep and quiet breaths. "Y/n. Is everything okay?" Lucas worried. You nodded at his question, his little sister frowning because it was so obvious that you weren't okay. "It's just- This is too much, you know?" Lucas nodded. One of his hands fell on top of yours, giving you the comfort you needed as you noticed the little girl was not interested in you anymore. Erica was now focusing on the flicking light in the living room. "You said you followed Vecna through the lights, right?" You got up from the table at the same time as her. Dustin looked at you before answering Erica's question. "Yeah, why?"

"Because I think he's here" Lucas stood up too. "That's not Vecna." You stated. When you broke into the Creel's House, the flashlights were out of control, flicking faster and gaining intensity as you got closer to him. But this time, the light was repeating a sequence. "It's Morse code." Thankfully you had Dustin who happened to be a Morse code expert and he successfully deciphered the S.O.S message. "They need lights. Will used the lights to communicate with Mrs. Byers. They need lights!" The unwell you were feeling was suddenly gone when you found a way to communicate with them. That's when you, Lucas and Erica ran to where Holly Wheeler was playing with her Lite Brite. "I'm sorry." You said before snatching it out of her hands, Lucas unplugged it and you both went to Nancy's room where Dustin was waiting. The little girl whined and Erica gave her a candy bar before going after you.

After a difficult communication with them through the colored plastic pegs and explaining to them that there was a gate at every murder site. You pedaled to Eddie's trailer, maybe it wasn't the best idea since you started feeling worse once you arrived there. And just as Dustin predicted there it was the gate, on the ceiling of Eddie's trailer. The place where Chrissy died. "How do we open it?" You knew where Eddie's uncle kept the broom. The stick of it would do the work. You suddenly felt a cramp in your stomach, making the broom fall from your hands. Both of your hands went to hug your stomach, feeling like puking again as Max's quickly landed one of hers on your lower back. "Shit, you okay?"

"Yeah, just– Open the gate already." Erica swore if she had to hear you say that you were fine when you were clearly not one more time, she would kick your ass and send you to the Upside Down to open the gate yourself. You didn't care about how bad you felt. You wanted him there. You wanted to apologize for not being there enough and you wanted to tell him everything. Dustin took the broom and broke the sticky layer that separated the normal world from the Upside Down. Your back tensed when you saw no one at the other side, your breathing almost stopping, but then a curious Steve showed up and a sigh of relief could be heard on Eddie's trailer coming from the four of you. Dustin laughed, letting go all the nerves as he celebrated that he was right once again. Steve smiled softly at you making space for Eddie. You covered your mouth with one of your hands, trying not to cry but your eyes were already filled with tears. Eddie showed you a warm smile and waved at you. "Hi." You mumbled to him, your lips quivering warning you that if you said one more word you'd start crying. "Hi." Eddie answered, still smiling.

"Okay, let's get them out of there."

You helped Dustin to tie up all the sheets you could find as Max, Erica and Lucas grabbed and placed Eddie's mattres under the gate. "Oh my god..." Was all you could say when you saw the big stains decorating the mattres and you threw a deadly glance, embarrassed, to Eddie when he tried to explain what those stains were.

Robin was the first one to climb up the tied-up sheets and fell straightaway into the mattress. You hugged the girl checking her face, her arms, her neck to verify that she wasn't hurt. Robin calmed you down assuring you that she was perfectly fine. "You gotta go next." Steve stated. Nancy agreed with Harrington. Eddie nodded. Same thing happened to him as to Robin, he climbed up the sheets and then he fell, if it wouldn't have been because you were there, he would've complained until his friends' ears bleed out from hearing him. But you were there. He stood up with Dustin's help and he had to take a few steps back to keep balance when you ran into his arms. Your hands were wrapped around his neck and his were around your waist. "Are you hurt?" You asked nervously when you separated from the hug. He was sure covered in dirt, his hair was messy and his eyes were tired but you didn't see blood, you were worried that he had wounds you weren't seeing. Eddie shook his head. "I'm fine." The boy brushed your cheek with his thumb and kissed your lips. "I'm so sorry, I-" Eddie shook his head again and kissed your temple. "We'll talk later."

You almost fainted when you saw the wounds on Steve's belly, you didn't know if it was because of how exhausted you were or because of his blood dripping from the tourniquet but anyways you helped to clean them and to cover them properly. After that, you went back to rest your head on Eddie's chest while everybody talked, just enjoying his arms around you and his chin resting on the top of your head. "Come sleep to my house." You looked up at him with doe eyes, and Eddie looked at Steve, Nancy and Robin, the three of them with worried expressions knowing it wasn't a good idea.

"I don't think It's safe–"

"Yeah, you go. It's fine." Steve interrupted Nancy, the Wheeler girl looking at him and asking herself what was he doing. "Come on, it's just a night. Nothing bad can happen." Your arms squeezed tighter around Eddie. Apparently, Steve was the only one capable of noticing tension between you two caused by all the things you two needed to let out, starting by telling him yourself that you were pregnant.

"Y/n was seeing at a crime scene. It's everything but fine." Dustin added. You took a deep breath, not wanting to say that they caught you because of their stupid idea. "Okay, yeah, it's not fine." Steve changed his mind when Dustin told him the information he was missing. "And where is he supposed to stay?" You separated from Eddie huffing in desperation. You ran your hands over your face, this whole situation was crap and you were so tired of it already, but of course you would not expose Eddie to any more danger. But where was he gonna stay? Your house was out of the table, and so did Dustin's, Lucas's, and of course Max's. Eddie's trailer had an open gate to another dimension and the Wheelers and the Buckleys knew, like the rest of Hawkins, that Eddie was wanted by the police. He needed something on the outskirts, with no parents and of someone no one would expect Eddie to be with.

You laid your eyes on Steve. All of your friends' eyes laid on Harrington too. There was no other place Eddie could hide. Your best friend rolled his eyes, finally noticing what was going on. "Yeah, whatever."

Steve let you sleep on his parents' queen-sized bed. You were sitting on the edge of one side of it, meanwhile, Eddie was sitting on the other side, your backs turned to each other. "He told me." Eddie said while untying the laces of his shoes. You swallowed nervously, sliding the t-shirt that Steve lend you over your head.

"I should've told you."

Eddie nodded. "I mean, I would've preferred to hear it from you than from Harrington." The only thing it could be heard in the room was Eddie's shoes and clothes falling to the floor. He had a lot in his mind, probably the same weird sensation all over his body you've been feeling these past weeks. He slid into the pajama t-shirt and pants that Steve gave him. "Eddie?" He hummed. "I need– I need to know what's on your mind."

"I just– I don't understand why you didn't tell me." He grabbed his clothes from the floor and passed by your side to go downstairs and put them in the washing machine. His voice tone was soft, not angry but confused, with a lot of questions. He couldn't get mad at you because of this, he could never get mad at you. "I was scared."

"But why? I don't think our relationship is one to be scared of telling the other type."

"It's not." Eddie raised his eyebrows, hoping for you to notice the contradiction. Perhaps he shouldn't be this harsh with you. Eddie kneeled in front of you, leaving the clothes on his hands next to him. "Look. All I'm saying is– We've been together for a while now, and I've always had your back as well as you've always had mine. This is how we work. We work– We work like one, y/n." He took both of your hands between his, caressing the back of them with his thumb. "Why did you think this time would be any different?"

You shook your head, laying your eyes on your hands between Eddie's. You didn't have an answer to his question. He sat on the bed next to you, your hands still on his. "Have you thought about what you wanna do?" You swallowed the lump in your throat, Eddie nodded, understanding. He kissed your knuckles and stood on his feet. You looked at him as he did, waiting for a reaction apart from the kiss. Eddie picked up his dirty clothes from the floor, ready to go and leave them in the washing machine.

"I don't– I don't wanna do this if it's not with you." Your voice was weak, your eyes glossy with tears.

Eddie sat next to you on the bed, allowing the clothes to fall from his hands one last time. He'd take care of them tomorrow. He analyzed your face, you looked so insecure and scared that he swore he felt his heart break. He took both of your hands again. "I wanna do this." Eddie assured you, nodding and looking for your gaze. He thought you understood what he was trying to say with all the we are one speech. He was not leaving. "If you decide you wanna have that baby, I'll be the happiest man on Earth. But I'll support you, and of course still love you, if you decide it's too soon for that."

"You won't leave if I decide to have it?" You stared into his eyes, a soft smile on his lips as he shook his head. "Never." Eddie placed a kiss on your forehead. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't tell me or if like my reaction would be bad." You were the one shaking the head this time. "It's not your fault."

"Come here." Eddie laid in the middle of the bed, opening his arms to you. You accepted his invitation and rested your head on his chest as his arms hugged you tightly against him. God, how much you've missed him. His scent, his chest slowly rising and falling, his hands playing with your hair and the sudden 'i love you's and the kisses he'd place on your forehead.

It was too soon to imagine starting a family with you? It was not as if Eddie hadn't already thought about a future with you but now it was closer than ever. He could already imagine himself hugging your swollen belly from behind and mumbling into your ear that you should rest instead of working in the child's room. He could imagine holding your hand strongly by the time you give birth and hugging you and your newborn baby carefully. His two beautiful girls, Eddie was so sure that the baby would be a girl. He would play dress-up with her, wearing a pink tutu and a crown and letting her carry the sword and fight the imaginary dragon that captured him. He would drive her to school every day and help her with homework. He should start looking for a real job after all of this, hoping for some kind soul that would believe in his innocence before you both could afford to leave Hawkins. He should start looking for a house too, maybe on the outskirts of Hawkins, a quieter and cheaper place. And you. He couldn't wait to ask you to marry him.

Eddie spent most of the night imagining a life with you, making sure that you were comfortable and sleeping well until he inevitably fell asleep too.