#I was doing so good posting on here regularly then I fell off im so sorry I loveu guys i

[hopefulonion]

Mascot versions again and the herding dog/cow hybrid au trend from Twitter! 🙌✨

[haven-gum-rockrose]

going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.

[unicorn-gallerexy]

Howdy, I totally mean to post more and didn't do any of that but then i got stuck with this idea and getting it out so here ya go, i want it out my face. There will be part 2, but i need a break bc this too so long and is longer than i wanted it. Only mildly proofread, rada rada, yknow the drill

Word count: 12.7K (i managed to hit the end of like 3 keep notes, i ain't ever done that)

CW: (technical) Homewrecker!Atsumu x Wife! Reader, smut, (kinda/justified) cheating, manipulation and mild threats (not from Atsumu), open marriage (you weren't vibing with it), trash treatment from husband, Long af, Atsumu being mad bc wtf is up with your husband?

One for Another

When your husband asked his question, excited just after coming home, you thought you couldn't hear. Or maybe it was that you didn't understand?

Either way, you asked him to repeat himself.

"I want to open our relationship. It sounds like a good idea, yeah?" He smiles, like there's nothing wrong with his sudden asking, and the look you give him is blank before it obviously reads upset.

"Why?" You steady your voice a lot easier than you steady your mind. You were hurt, this was so out of the blue. Yes, he had voiced a bit of an issue with your extra few pounds, or how you didn't dress up more often, or how you didn't have as much sex anymore (which was more his fault but he blamed you and the weight you put on) but you were working in it. You started working out in your own home because he was insistent that other people, like his coworkers, could see you let yourself go. You worked on being consistent with skincare and wearing more clothes that flattered you. You were actually looking quite a bit better than you had before. At least you and your friends thought so...

"Because it's a great idea?" He says it so easy as if you should be understanding. Seeing as you don't look pleased, his smile drops and he heaves a sigh so heavy at the thought of explaining himself. "Look you and i haven't... Been on the same page for a while. You and I just aren't matching up right now, so i figured it would be good to open the relationship so we can fill in those gaps."

"What gaps? I've been working on myself for damn near two months now, solely because you asked. What am i not doing for you?"

"Jesus Christ, this isn't about you. It's about us being happy, and im not happy. Im also not just trying to leave you high and dry but im sure you're not happy either." He says the part about you not being happy as if it doesn't matter to him. His emphasis was on him not being happy, and the part of not leaving you sounded more like a chore than a willful choice.

He swept you off your feet and promised a life a comfort. He was working on a promotion, he complimented you regularly and the sex wasn't bad at all. You fell for his charm easy, and he seemingly fell for you just as hard. After a few years, he asked you to marry him and made it known you could depend on him completely. Your job was basically down the drain by the time the wedding happened due to higher positions deciding the right way didn't make them enough money fast enough. He said you could trust him to take care of you, that he'd keep you happy and comfy, that he didn't mind a housewife for a while. You let yourself fall into that role, it wasn't hard. The house he bought was sizeable but not too big, the chore list was never too long and you did indeed live comfortably.

Over time, through his several promotions to an executive seat, you moved into bigger and better, all while he coaxed you into being his lovely little housewife and homemaker. Anytime you talked of going back, he'd mention how the job market wasn't the best, reports of customers abusing staff locally, rumors he "heard" here or there about owners and managers of places you were looking into, and always mentioning how you complained of every job you had. How you hated working, but how you were basically just taking care of yourself and he was taking care of you by working and giving you a card of his he didn't need to keep track of.

This was more temporary than you thought it was.

In the last two promotions, he had been given an assistant that always seemed a little too close for comfort. If you ever brought it up, he'd only mention how he married you and how she worked for him, so he couldn't be cheating on you. He blamed your insecurities and said you were forcing your own self doubt on him, and how that wasn't fair. At first the responses seemed loving, in their own way, before they turned angry. He'd shout about you being insecure, how you were trying to accuse him of things you had no proof of. He'd leave the house and even when he came back, he rarely ever apologized. He'd simply place more money onto the card and talk to you as he normally would. He pretended to care with a kiss on the forehead and half holding you in bed every so often.

That didn't stop him from pointing out your mounting flaws over time. It didn't stop him from refusing any sort of advances you made, day off or not. Didn't stop him not inviting you to company events as he had in the past and instead saying he was going with *her instead because "family isn't invited this time around" as if there weren't pictures posted later of his coworkers with their wives who you know don't work for the company at the same event.

You would've left a long time ago, really. But he wasn't wrong in saying you were insecure. Or that he'd leave you high and dry. He managed to manipulate you into not having a job for years, which doesn't look the greatest when applying for new ones, which created your dependency on him for financial reasons but he also had preyed on the parts of yourself you couldn't stand, made you feel like he and he alone loved you, like no one else would or could love you. You defended his words when your friends brought up concern by citing that he was right, as no one had really come up to you to flirt or asked you out prior to him so there wasn't really much competition for you. And, at the time, he at least liked you.

All for it to be thrown back in your face now. The waves of realization hit like you're in a losing boxing match. You feel your eyes burn but refuse to let any tears fall. He, unfortunate as it may be, can still read you at least a little. He comes and wraps his arms around you in a hug that makes you feel slimy, but you don't pull away as there's no where else to go really. "Listen baby, this isn't just a good thing for me. It's a good decision for both of us. I'm not giving you what you want, you aren't giving me what i want, don't you think it's better to find those things in other people and still have each other to come home to? At least give it a shot." He insists. It's obvious to you now, he doesn't care about you finding someone, only about him being allowed to do as he wants without being called a name that fits.

Part of you want to ask, but you figure you won't get answers if you do. You feel backed into a corner with no real way to lash out. So, you give a reluctant and strained yes, giving in to your defeat in hopes it hurts a little less. He kiss the back of your head and quickly slips away from you, grabbing his keys and saying something about being back later before slipping out of the door. You hear it lock, you hear the car start and drive off, and looking at the time on the clock in the stove behind you, it now reads 7:38pm. You could swear he turned his head to look at it when he was behind you.

The weekend comes in shortly after, he says he's going on a trip and you don't bother to ask where to or when he'll be back. You're already distant and its only been a few days, not that he cares at all. He packs and leaves in a hurry, only sending a text of "I love you" about an hour later. You've yet to tell anyone, feeling overwhelmed with shame and stupidity at not seeing any signs earlier on to avoid this. Or maybe because you feel ashamed that you couldn't keep your husband satisfied? That he was seduced by someone you'd consider younger and prettier than you'll ever be. You're not that old, nor are you bad looking but that's not how you see it. Your eyes only seem to find more and more inadequacies each time you look into a mirror. From the bags darkening under your eyes to your hair becoming more tangled with your lack of care, from the flaring breakouts across your face from stress and ditching your routine to the weight you worked off coming back with friends because you wallow on the couch and dropped your workout routine.

What was the point?

You had nothing else to work towards. Sure you barely looked different from before him, and if you got back into all of it, you'd look basically the same as you did then, maybe a bit better, but what would be the point? No one wanted you before he did, he literally had no competition for your affection or attention. The only thing that's changed that you can't undo is the passing of time. Sure, in the grand scheme of things you really weren't that much older than you were then but, if no one wanted you then, who would want you now?

You couldn't give an answer, and thus your brain concluded with: no one.

You eventually wind up inviting friends over about 2 weeks into his trip and, not having heard from you for longer, they jump at the chance to see you. When they arrive, and you answer the door, disheveled in sweats, they can see that you're not holding up well and the sweet smiles and loud hi's drop. Being asked what's wrong sets off the water works, not having cried in or out of his presence made the dam behind your eyes too full, and concerned friendly voices opened the gates. You step aside to let them in and they immediately hug you, telling you to calm down enough to at least tell them what's wrong but the sobs are violent, shaking your body completely and taking the strength from your legs. They guide you to the couch, sit at your sides and tell you to cry it out, seeing as every time you try and speak, it's unintelligible.

When you manage to calm yourself enough in your friends arms, you don't lift your gaze from the floor, explaining why you haven't answered calls or texts and why you just spent a literal hour crying into them. To say their furious is an understatement. They shout question after question, most at how he could do this and feel nothing. You cry into your hands, and that's when they calm down, starting to throw suggestions, the first being divorce. You remind them of how he basically holds all your financials, your place to live, and a solid position in his company. Your friends sigh as they realize that leaving, at least now, isn't a real option. After a moment of quiet thinking, and soft sniffles, your first best friend grabs you by both shoulders with a smile. "Open relationship, right? That means you can also do what you want. We can get you back on track with all your routines and go out, take you with us on singles night!" She's beaming even if you don't look the most into the idea, your other best friend seeming to voice your thoughts for you.

"As if he'll actually let her have another relationship outside of him with no repercussions. Be real, May. He'd flip his shit because he just wanted to go out and fuck anything that breathes without being called a cheater" May pouts, having already thought of that in a more minor capacity.

"I figured that, Kura. We don't have to tell him shit. He's not even being that discreet about it, with the 2 of us helping her out, he'll never know." She leans to speak over your shoulder to Kura before looking back at you with soft, loving, hopeful eyes that you feel you haven't experienced in a while. "Maybe we can actually find you a real man who'll treat you right and wont do this shit. You don't deserve to just wallow here by your self." Her hands cup your face as she awaits an answer and you shake your head in her hands.

"No one wanted me before, May. Who's gonna want me now? I'm older and-"

"Still hot, at least when you're not distressed." Kura says from behind you, smiling with some sort of support for the plan. You shake your head as May keeps hold of you.

"Okay but everything is here, workout equipment and-"

"We'll take you to the gym with us! Kura has been wanting to get in there for a while but she keeps bailing on me. I'll take you two with me and then we're all obligated to go. We'll go on spa days, I'll call you so you don't have to acknowledge him while you do your routine here. Trust me, thought out much more than you think." May beams, Kura chiming in about possibly just moving rooms so you have space if you haven't already. Both paw at you and basically beg, saying it'll at least be good just to get out for a little while every day even if you aren't man hunting. You tear up again, and when asked why, you say you thought they'd me mad at you, tell you i told you so or something because you didn't listen when they spoke up. You're given the warmest embrace you've had in a minute as they tell you it's not your fault, it's his. He preyed on you, just to throw you away for nothing substantial. You cry, and say ok, agreeing to go with them and along with their plan, causing them both so squeal with joy before May goes to bolt upstairs.

"Where are you going?" You sniffle, caught in Kura's arms as you look up the stairs.

"To run you a proper bath. We're having an at home spa night now. You need it." She scrunches her nose in the way that makes you laugh and knowing you still have some happiness makes them happy.

The night goes on as they wish, both helping wash your hair and your face, saying you need a break as they pamper you and do their best to drive away the sadness in your heart, or at least distract from it. They help you move things into another room, opting to watch terrible B and latter alphabet movies, doing your face routines together and eating proper food since you've seen gorging on junk food for a while now. They opt to stay over for a few days when you tell them your husband wont be home for another 3 weeks. Both girls help you clean up, do laundry, and essentially reset your home to brinf back a real sense of normalcy. May sits and picks out a couple gym appropriate outfits, laying them on top of the dresser, before they leave you a couple days before your husband is supposed to be back. They kiss your forehead, hug you tight and tell you the day of a group gym trip so you look forward to it. Kura notes she wont back out if you don't, putting a sense of responsibility on you to ensure you don't bail last minute.

When your husband comes back, he finds you lounging about in the other room, only to ask a question you truly dreaded hearing. "Hey, I can still have the bedroom to myself for a bit right?" Behind the doorway, at his side you can see another shadow in the sunlight that bathes the house and a feminine giggle from behind him. You simply wave him off, a half hearted mumble sending him on his way to the bedroom, girl in tow. You hear the door shut, lock clicking into place as you curl into yourself and text your friends. They send you texts to just forget about it as much as possible, you telling them it's hard when you can hear them through the walls and know he feels no sense of remorse.

That was what killed you most, the fact he was doing it all and seemed to feel nothing for you. No remorse, no guilt or shame, not even the tiniest bit of pity even if it would piss you off. You realized quick he didn't feel anything negative about it, but that didn't mean it didn't suck to have such a blatant display of what you could only feel was disrespect. Then again, you're surprised it didn't happen earlier.

Your affluent living situation meant a very nice, expensive gym wasn't too far away. May and Kura didn't live in the expensive part of the city but they had good jobs and kept up with the monthly payment plan that even you and your more frugal upbringing balked at when you got the sign up paper at the desk. Once paying the overcharged fee and getting your membership card, May lead you and Kura around to show you the facilities the gym had to offer and blabbed about the famous and influential people she's seen in passing from actors to local businessmen to athletes. Kura and you keep up as she taps your arm for your attention. "I'm kinda starting to regret coming with May." She whispered, no malice behind as you nod and hum in agreement.

You feel exposed even if your fully clothed. The sports bra and crop you normally wear to workout at home suddenly feeling to short to be worn outside (even if you've done so a million times) and the yoga shorts holding your ass nicely feeling all too tight to be worn in public. You can't help the shy stance you keep as May guides you past a the sauna, pool, and cryo rooms towards the side of the building, keeping one arm wrapped around yourself and the other down at your side. Kura is dressed in similar pants, but her top is a loose cotton shirt you wish you'd gone for instead. May, being the one used to being here, is in a good sports bra and yoga shorts due to the weather. Once her tour is over, she guides you into the large workout room, complete with just about any and every machine you'd need for every part of your body. You wanna vomit.

You know you left to get away from your currently shitty home life but now you actually kinda regret coming. May turns with a big smile that falls quick when she takes note of yours and Kura's faces. She keeps hopeful, taking you both by the hands over to the treadmills that face out of the window. "We can start here so that you two can get a bit more comfy, yea?" You both nod and hop on, the 3 of you starting at the same pace and making mild small talk.

After you and Kura seem to loosen up, noted by you finally dropping your arm from around yourself, May takes the opportunity to switch it up and get you guys through some stretches. From there, it's basically downhill. May is fit, not annoying about it and it shows. She puts you and Kura to your limits and genuinely encourages you the entire time in such a way that's hard to be mad at. You're at it for hours until the final stretch for your cool down when she beams "And we're done! That was fun, wasn't it?"

"I regret.. My decision." Kura pants.

"Fun isn't what id give it but i mean..." You trail off with a weak wave of your hand on the floor next to Kura as May hops up to drag you both down the hall and to the sauna. When you both express dismay over the sound of sitting in a hot, moist room on a hot day after being worked to near death, May assures you that you'll just both feel so much better after and if you're so inclined, she'll take you to the actual pool for a bit after. You and Kura grimace at the thought of being more openly exposed than you already are at one another as you follow May and say you'll both pass on that part today.

Out of clothes, wrapped in towels, May hands off your clothing to one do the workers before noting to you as they leave that they're gonna wash them. You and Kura share a surprised look at her as she pushes you both into the (thankfully) empty sauna. She does everything to set it up and soon enough the room is hot and steamy, her eyes fixing to continuously check on you two as you close your eyes and drop your head to relax in the warm, wet heat. "So how long can we be expected to be alone in here?" Kura asks, scooting to put just a bit more distance between you two which you're thankful for.

"With how long we've worked out, not too much longer. But we don't have to leave or anything like that. We can basically stay in here for as long as we want, though it is recommended to leave at some point to prevent overheating." She sighs.

"With how much we have to pay for a monthly membership, we better be able to stay in here for as long as we want." You complain, Kura letting out a small laugh as she lays her head against the wall. She and May look at you, your head still down and eyes still closed.

"Black card for your thoughts, lovely?" Kura mutters, you shake your head before answering.

"Just thinking about home, unfortunately. Thinkin about how i let it get here honestly." Kura pushes your arm and you look at your friends, both sets of eyes stern but full of care as they note him and whatever he's doing isn't worth any more of tour head space. Kura throwing the idea to take him for what he's useful for and buy everyone lunch after, naming off pricy places your younger self could only dream of going. You laugh at her, especially as may joins in with the new ultra luxury bakery that just opened up and is known to be pure Instagram fodder and not actually good baked goods. Just as you near snort with laughter at their suggestions, about to cut in with something cheaper and actually good, the door opens and causes you three to scoot a bit closer to one another in a corner and 4 actually fairly familiar faces trail in, shortly followed by a duo that you can tell aren't with the prior 4. Your husband's work and you being his previous arm candy piece at work events let you passionately shake hands with plenty of elites, faces recognizable to you easy. The 4 who are making conversation amongst themselves are athletes, specifically the (debatably) most popular members of the team. Koutarou Bokuto, Shoyo Hinata, Kiyoomi Sakusa, and Atsumu Miya.

The other 2 are businessmen that you've seen at damn near every single even you went to with your husband, higher ups from a company his worked with. They were always hitting you in the worst way so your nose unconsciously crinkles before you turn to Kura and May. You aren't too surprised, May did say plenty of the wealthy who live close by here and even some who don't come to this gym just because of how nice and/or exclusive it is. You hope somewhere inside yourself that the duo doesn't notice you at all, as that would help the first day back to a workout routine all the better.

Of course, you cant ever have what you want. The universe curses you by making one of the idiot duo loudly recognize your left shoulder tattoo of a chubby kitten playing with stars from various franchises, like animal crossing fragments and Rosalina's stars from Mario games. "Oh shit! I remember that dumb little tattoo! Y/n, how have you been babe?" He says. You roll your eyes hard enough to hurt as you feel every pair of eyes in this small room land on you. You force a smile and turn your head, giving a strained hi and fine. He and his friend start to bombard you with questions at your minor acknowledgement. Your husband, what he's been up to and things like that. You answer most, half with lies as Kura leans over your back and tells them to call him if they've got "such a hard on for him" instead of harassing you.

Kura has taken on most of your lost bite while you work to get it back, and you find yourself plenty thankful for it. You don't miss the small snorts of laughter from the other side of sauna and neither do the duo on the other side of you. Not liking to feel any sort of embarrassment, and somehow deciding that the wife of their business colleague is their prime target, the second one opens his mouth with venom. "You know Y/n, i have friends who work with your husband. We haven't seen you at any of the company get togethers anymore, yknow? But we have seen him with this real pretty dame on his arm. You make him get a replacement so you don't have to be there or what?" They way you stiffen is visible and your brain short circuts on what to do next for a half second. Both have this smug smile on their face as everyone looks wide eyed at the two, and they look at you.

You stand, eyes lifting from the ground where you had planted them during talking to them initially. "The fact you two are so mad because you cant even get escorts to sleep with you, much less me when im married so you go around saying shit like that is honestly pathetic." Your hand slaps the one who opened his mouth before you can rethink it, turning on your heels to leave at you hear not just your friends but the other men in the room giving them quite the reprimanding as you float your way to where you can pick up your freshly washed clothes. You must've been in there for longer than you thought, as they're set out with your membership card on top to show ownership. You're quick to change as you hear voices outside looking for you. You step out and toss the towel into the bin they have out for them and your friends rush to your side and try to comfort you but you simply tell them to get dressed so you can go and eat.

They're dressed in a flash and following you out the front door, you never noticing the sets of eyes that manage to trail your form as you storm out with your friends hot on your ass, wiping your eyes. Once in the car, there's a beat of silence as they seem to try and find what would be the rihht thing to say after that. What do they say? Your tears don't wait, a uncontrolled sob escaping you before your hand covers your mouth to hold back the rest of the noise as you cry. He's so brazen about it, of course other people notice but the last thing you wanted was to be confronted with it anywhere else. You're hugged from two directions, hands rubbing your back and arms to soothe you as May says she wont blame you for bailing after that. You shake your head, taking deep breaths to calm yourself and taking the tissue Kura passes you from her bag to wipe your eyes and blow your nose before you close your eyes. Clearing your throat, you croak. "I'm still going to do it... I'm not gonna let this stop me... Even if it sucks..." Kura pats you on the back, saying she'll still be with you and May clapping at you not letting it throw you down without a fight.

You get to pick lunch. A nice sit down hot pot spot that's having a slow day, so they wave the typical time limit they have and sit you three in a cozy booth. You loose track of time, your friends being efficient in distracting your mind from the day's sour turn, laughing and eating to replenish some energy. You three can see the door, and have made a game of betting (without money of course) on if the groups and couples who come in have ever actually been to a hot pot place or if they came in because they think it's "exotic". It's a dumb little game that results in fun banter. Lo and behold, the bell advice the door dings again and in walk... The same 4 athletes who basically saw you getting outted as being cheated on. The MSBY black jackles, with the rest of the team in tow. The owner working the register guides them to the large booth in the opposite corner from you and your friends, who ask if you wanna go after seeing the 4 familiar faces. You shake your head, saying you're having fun and betting that the extra shy, probable assistant, hasn't been to hot pot before as you slip a leafy green veggie in your mouth. You're friends smile and agree with you're bet, and you let your night continue.

The three of you fall easy back into yourselves as the waiter comes to top up your broth for the 3rd time, never noticing the pair of eyes that seem to linger along your form here and there. You don't even notice how the same eyes trail you once again as you leave out with your friends, looking considerably happier than when you left the gym. He knows he shouldn't be looking so hard, but he just cant seem to understand. Why would a man who married you not want you or not want to show you off?

You keep to your word and go back three days later, muscles sore the day after from how hard May worked you both but you return nonetheless to join her again as she says you'll both get used to it and she'll keep the routine the same for a while to help speed up that process. She beams at both of your forlorned faces as she makes you both get down on the floor for your stretches.

She keeps to her word, and you get back into your prior habits as your friends remind you that self care shouldn't be tied to the scumbag you live with as they have now deemed him. Your days with them are your highlights, whether it's just lunch and the gym or if they come over to insult your husband in the guest room you've moved into. Your gym trips are a bit better for your mental health tho, having made a couple of friends through May's bubbly personal skills and being away from your husband's revolving door of women. You tend to avoid anyone who has more consistent contact with your husband or his job to avoid any more incidents like your first day and that seems to do you well, though you've of course run into several big names that have worked with his company or him once or twice. You don't mind those, especially since some are constant faces anytime you go to be whipped into shape by May.

Some of the more consistent faces you see are those of Athletes, specifically coming across the MSBY team again and again. The 4 who initially witnessed your sauna incident either didn't remember it or simply never seemed to show they did, none giving you any odd looks or pitied glances any time your eyes seemed to catch theirs in passing. You were always the first to turn away, never catching on to the way one of them seemed to stare. At least not at first. The more often you came, the more you saw them and vice versa. The more you saw them, the more he could stare. The more he could stare, the more you seemed to catch him and while he would avert his gaze elsewhere or focus of the weight in his hands, he'd still eventually find a way to stare at you again all whilst taking pride in the way you seemed to fluster under his gaze. That man was Atsumu Miya.

Of course, his blatant "eye fucking" as Sakusa would call it didn't go unnoticed by the others, Bokuto and Hinata scolding him for essentially hitting on a married woman. When away from other who knew nothing about the information they had heard in the sauna, Atsumu defends himself. "He's cheatin on 'er anyways and i haven't even said anything. Why can't i look?" The others always reply that it's not the point.

"They might be trying to work it out?" Hinata mutters, making all of them turn their nose and Atsumu respond with a "Fuckin hope not." The boys were raised on better teachings so, even if they were reprimanding their friend for his borderline inappropriate behavior, they still don't like the idea of some poor, pretty girl "working things out" with a man that obviously doesn't care about her. Atsumu's typical defense doesn't hold up for long though. As time passes, the more he sees you, the more he tries to find ways to talk to you. From bringing you and your friends water to engage in small talk under the guise of being kind before he's called back to managing to catch you and your friends as you're about to leave some other amenity after making sure he worked out for just a bit longer, saying it was to not slack close to a game, to be sure he caught you at the tail end of your swim or sauna sit. Atsumu continues to argue that there's nothing wrong with making small talk or incidentally running into someone in a shared public space.

"You don't even know what incidentally means, homewrecker." Sakusa shoots, Atsumu having an aghast expression at the word. Though, with more time and the tiny tidbits of info he learns about you personally, the more the insult seems to not matter. You're a nice convo partner, and he's just being nice, right?

Of course, you have other obligations to attend to aside from the gym. You know he still expects you to clean the house, that damn bedroom you can't find it in yourself to even look at much less sleep in anymore included, and make him (and guests he brings) food. You'd refuse if he didn't opt for the coercive method of throwing the fact you don't have a job right now in your face, guests there or not. You just go with it at this point to avoid talking to him, moving away or giving minimal acknowledgement when he tries to soothe you with empty hugs and worthless words. So the supermarket is your other safe haven. No hard work, no husband or women he's fucking, no real stress aside from not finding something you're craving. Crossing into the refrigerated section causes a shiver, eyes scanning over price tags you've never gotten used to looking at. As you reach out for a pack of chicken with a decent tag, a stronger hand brushes in front of your to cross in the other direction. Looking up reveals a familiar blonde headed athlete who seems to beam at seeing you, as if he didn't see you a couple aisles ago.

"Hey, been a couple days. How ya been?" He asks, taking his hand away and gesturing for you to grab your thing first.

"Been alright, resting up before my May drags us back. You?" Conversation comes easy, he's noticed you're kinda quiet so he takes the lead in asking questions and talking about his own things. He's careful, even subconsciously, about asking certain questions as to not put you in a sour mood. You ask him the occasional question as he seems to follow you around, noting he doesn't have anything else to do except his own personal grocery trip, like about his games and team. He has no issue answering, giving the occasional jab at them and joking with you to make you giggle behind your hand as you both float around the store until you both have to check out. When he realizes that the window is closing on the most in depth conversation he's ever had with you, he spings an invitation as you both exit the store. "Umm... Hey, do you maybe wanna come over to mine later? To keep talking? I think you're actually pretty interesting." He says quickly, trying to make sure you don't think what he feels you are.

You smile, laughing softly. "Your reputation is starting to sound a bit more true. You always invite girls over to 'talk' after you grocery shop with them?" He smiles and shakes his head, free hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Nah, just you." He flirts, and liking the feel of the missing male attention, you agree. He comes and tells you where his place is, and upon looking at it typed out, you realize that it's actually not far from where you and him live. Like, just a bit farther, just almost out of sight due to the curve, down the long street that your house sits at. You can walk to his house. When you tell him as much, he laughs. "Small world, huh? I'll leave the door open then." He shoots you a wink before heading on his way to his car ad you do yours.

When you get home, you don't speak to your husband. This is now normal. You simply put away the groceries you bought save for what you cook after. Once you've rushed through making a meal you have no real intentions of eating, you simply shoot him an "I'm heading out." Before slipping out of the door and taking a slow, leisurely stroll down to Atsumu's place. It takes about 20 minutes at that pace, and once in front of the door, you get butterflies. That old familiar flutter in the base of your tummy makes you hesitate to knock but you're a big girl, so you reach your hand up to give a few solid pounds to the heavy door. His place is nice, you've seen every house in the neighborhood at least once but you never really knew who lived in them. You were already housewife status before you moved here so you rarely came outside or interacted with any neighbors except next door and directly across the street.

The door opens with the slightly sticky sound of the seal meant to keep the outside out, and in the way of your view into the luxury home stands a broad chest. Your eyes get stuck for a half second before they trail up to his face, bright smile already splayed across his face. "Well howdy neighbor." You've heard him speak so the accent wasn't low on you but there sure are some words that really bring it out. You bow your head with your greeting and he turns himself to the side to let you in. "What took so long? I was waitin for ya." He asks jokingly, and you smile as you tell him about having to cook before you left because if you didn't do it, who would? He hears how lighthearted you make it sound, and he swallows the frown before it gets to appear on his face. You're keeping your head high to cope and it makes him wanna gag as his eyes trail up you, seeing no real flaw as to why some man wouldn't wanna be with you. He thinks you're real pretty, gorgeous even. You're also smart, funny and pretty quick witted when your head's not in the clouds. He knows it's a little odd to feel so strongly for the situation of a woman you just met, but his mama taught him so much better than that so when confronted with shit like this, it's hard to fathom. Even more so when the subject of it is right in front of him, oh so beautiful with your-

"Atsumu? Earth to pro athlete, need you back down here, big guy. Atsumu?" Shit. He had zoned out looking at you as you spoke so when he shakes his head and politely asks you to repeat the last thing you said, he feels awful. You seen a little too used to it as you shrug it off, which he feels makes it worse, and ask again. "I said: Did you have a plan when you invited me over or were you just gonna go with the flow and see what happens?" You stand with your hands behind your back so to not touch anything, and he struggles with his mind wandering as he motions for you to sit down and quickly jogs into his kitchen.

"I mean, we had a pretty nice time talking at the grocery store so i figured we could just pick up where we left off." He calls before coming to set a glass of lemonade down in front of you on the coffee table. "And if you stay long enough, i wouldn't mind you joining me for dinner?" It comes out like a question, you've been here for all of 2 minutes max and he's already inviting you to stay longer. He's so eager in a way you cant help but giggle and agree. You watch as he sits on the other side of the couch before starting to engage you in some bit of conversation from before. What you pick up on is that he constantly tries to get you to talk more and he pays actual attention to what you say. Anytime you quiet down out of habit, he asks you another question. The conversation hops from life experiences, to vacations, to upbringings. Anything to get you to talk to him more, anything to learn as much as possible about you, anything to make you smile and giggle like he's getting so enamored with.

He can't keep convincing himself that he's just being nice.

Not as he moves just a bit closer every time he sits back down from refilling your drinks. Not as he keeps trailing his eyes up and down your form when you laugh hard enough to close your eyes. Not when he has to fend off the mild shutter that slides up his back at certain words you say. Not as he continues to mentally say you're basically in the right if you were to do something outside of your marriage, and how he'd offer himself up in a heartbeat despite the guilt he'd been raised to have. Maybe if he finds out just a bit more about your garbage life partner, he can get rid of all the guilt he has. So he asks as you sip at the wine he offered up along with dinner, citing he's not as good as his brother in the kitchen but he does know a bit.

"Hey, i understand if it's still kinda touchy and you really don't have to answer if you don't wanna but, im just having a hard time wrapping my head 'round it." He starts, and your stomach turns as you know what he's gonna ask. But you sigh and down the rest of the glass, feeling It's better to get it out there now rather than feel like you're manipulating the situation later. The feeling of being wanted for a bit was nice while it lasted though. You set the glass down next to your empty plate and turn to face him, questioning when he went from the other side of the couch to only a couple inches away, motioning for him to continue. He ponders on how to say it without seeming insensitive before he sighs and just blurts it out. "Why the hell is your husband cheating on you? I genuinely can't understand." He stops himself before he goes on a tangent about how pretty you are or how nice you are or how he'd treat you plenty better.

You feel your eyes burn. You thought you'd be over it by now but maybe you had just pushed the thoughts away, far enough that it was basically outta sight, outta mind. You blink quickly to get rid of the tears and once Astumu catches the glossy look, he shakes his head. He opens his mouth to tell you to forget about him asking but you out your hand up to stop him. He fears you might just up and walk out, looking like a kicked puppy along with you as you take a deep breath to compose yourself. You open your eyes and put your hand down, speaking before he can. "He wanted an open relationship, so he's not actually cheating on me." Saying it feels gross, and if you took your eyes off the floor you'd see Atsumu with a face that agrees. Not because of the open relationship thing, because of how you phrased it.

"So you didn't want the open relationship?" He asks for clarification and though you and Atsumu don't know each other as well as you know your best friends, he's a comfortable presence that feels empathetic to you in a way, despite feeling like he's pitying you too but that's just your mind talking there. You shake your head, dropping it into your hands to rub away the tension that's building your temples.

"He sprung it on me out of no where, said i wasn't making him happy anymore. Saying i had 'let myself go' and whatnot. I was working on it, really. Working out at home, keeping up self care routines, trying to initiate even though that isn't normal for me. He just... Didn't want me anymore." You're quiet as you talk, a small sniffle in the middle of your statement tugs hard at his heart. Well now he can't possibly feel bad. He asks you about the dudes at the sauna the first time he saw you and lets you explain that they work with with your husband under a different company. "They've probably seen him with his pretty little coworker who he's been sleeping with. By the sound of it, they aren't the most discreet about it so it's just embarrassing for me. They're the types to get pissy when turned down. He rolls his eyes hard enough to hurt, feeling like his brain is throbbing in his skull over how dumb it sounds. Your husband, he colleagues, whatever whore he's screwing that most likely knew who you were and that the idiot was married. It gives the most sour ass milk taste to him.

"And what about you? Since he forced it, wouldn't it be good to get out and see someone?" He asks softly, particularly because he's yet to see you truly conversing with another man in the time he's been talking to you. He's also never heard you talk about anyone else, not that it would truly be any of his business but it just intrigues him. You simply shake your head again though.

"He's... He's the only man over ever been with. We met when i was young, got engaged and married pretty quick but i wasn't the prettiest thing in the group so he had no real competition. When that happened i kinda just stayed inside and didn't bother even after starting the working out thing with May again. I mean, if no one wanted me then, why would they now and I've just gotten older?" Your insecurities have shown before but Astumu's about to start asking some real serious questions about how your husband treats you if you think so low of yourself.

"So why not leave? I mean it's obvious he doesn't care 'bout ya, and you don't seem like the type to stick around for shit like this." He admits its a bit assumptive but he can read people pretty well, and he'd bet on this assumption for sure.

"He married me when i was young and kinda took over most things. Pre and post me leaving my job and agreeing to be his fulltime housewife. I kinda can't... At least not right now." You admit. Atsumu has genuinely never wanted the throttle a man so badly. He's basically holding you hostage so he cant look bad but is forcing decisions on you whether you like them or not so he can do as he wants. Yea, he definitely doesn't feel bad anymore.

"I want you." It's a simple statement but it has you whipping your head to look at him and the serious face he has that somehow also looks like he's bored almost.

"What?"

"You asked who'd want you since time has passed and stuff, right? Me. I do." Your eyes widen as he continues. "I think you're fuckin' gorgeous to be honest. Inside and out. You're funny and sweet when you're comfortable, you've got a good heart and 's all bundled up in this lovely, lovely body o' yers." He starts to smile mid way through his declaration as he notices your dace get more and more flustered. His accent seems to get just a bit thicker as he talks faster towards the end, enthusiasm radiating from him as he closes that tiny 2 inch gap between you two on the couch so your thighs touch. You're shocked honestly. It felt like he liked you but your self doubt said it was just pity, but you also felt there was nothing wrong with being a bit delusional and taking what you could get from a nice man giving you attention. You stutter, trying to get something out about how you feel but he hold up his hands and leans back a bit, never scooting away from you though. "If ya don't feel that way about me, i understand even if it hurts a little. But I would love to show you how a proper man should be treating someone as beautiful as you." He's laying it on thick but you feel he's being honest about your ability to back out if you want.

You still can't manage to figure out the words you want to say to him. You don't really think you'd know where to start, being the way he didn't seem judgmental towards you or the fact he apparently had actual, genuine interest in you. So you hug him instead. He's surprised for a moment but quickly hugs you back, finding that you're so much softer, warmer than he expected this close. He nose catches whiffs of your soap and shampoo, you even smell gorgeous. And your husband didn't want this? Fucking idiot. You pull back after a while, just enough to look him in the eyes. "Thank you, but... You don't..." You start how you want, but you cant seem to find the correct way to finish. Atsumu understands from the way you avert your eyes, flustered and shy in a way he finds all too cute on you. He puts his hand under your chin to gently redirect your gaze back to his, confident smirk still splayed across his face. It's a reassuring look really, one that says he really does want to do what he said.

"If you don't want to, that's fine. I understand, but don't think that i don't want to. Because i really fucking do." His voice is low due to his proximity, leaning his forehead against yours as he searches for any sign of you pulling away or rejecting his advances. It's like a little game behind your eyes plays out before you opt to say fuck it and close the small gap between your mouths. He reciprocates immediately, moving his hand from your chin to the back of your head as your hand begin to wind themselves in his soft blonde locks. The kiss goes on for what makes your lungs feel like eternity, but your brain feel like mere seconds. When the burn in your chest is too much, you pull back and take a deep breath, letting the oxygen take your brain through thoughts of this really being a good idea. Your eyes scan Atsumu, from the lidded gaze to the slightly swollen lips to the heaving chest and from what your eyes take in, your brain says it's a great idea. I mean, if he's willing to give you what you're missing, why deny yourself?

He stands up and holds out his hand to you, letting you take it as you ask about where he's leading you to. "Well i did say i'd be proper bout it, right? Can't take you on the couch first time around, that comes later." You note how confidently he said later, as if he's assured a next time. And while normally you'd say that was a bit presumptuous of a man, you couldn't help but think of the kiss you shared and allow him to have his confidence. He smiles when you don't deny him too. He leads you to a room that's cleaner than what you'd expect from an athlete if you're honest. The room smells of lingering cologne and linen air freshner as he closes his door. He comes behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his face into the crook of your neck to kiss and nip at the skin as you tilt tour head to give him more space. You giggle as he kisses at certain spots, whimpering when he finds that particular spot that has you slightly buckling in his grasp.

His hands play with the hem of your shirt and pants, gently tugging as he sucks and bites at the spot that has you depending on him more to help you stand. "You can still back out now, (y/n). I really don't-" you wind up snaking your hand back into his hair, turning your head to bring his mouth to yours.

"I want to, Atsumu. Please, lemme have this." The way you whine has his eyes rolling in a good way this time, gently pushing you to his bed before he opts for turning you toward him and tossing you on it. His grip firm as he halfheartedly flung you onto the soft sheets as if you weighed nothing and without a single complaint either. He's quick to crawl over you and place his lips back on yours, tongue slipping in before you can fight him on it. You don't fight with him too much for dominance, more so to just be playful. He takes it, sliding his hands higher under your shirt than before to touch your skin as you fingers dig into his shoulder. He takes time to pull away every so often to ask if he can remove some piece of clothing from you, seeming as if he truly couldn't get enough of you. First your shirt, then pants, then his own. He barely detached his body from yours as he stripped you or himself, wanting nothing more than the feel of your soft, pretty skin on his. When he inevitably did have to pull himself up onto his knees to take off your bra, he couldn't help but take in the sight in front of him.

You're underneath him, as he's wanted for a bit now, neck only slightly marked up from before, lips swollen and a little of the mixed saliva from him keeping your mouths together making Its way down your cheek from the corner of your mouth. Your chest is heaving from him giving you minimal time to breathe between kisses, and to top it off you're basically half naked, the pretty body he's seen clad in various workout clothes finally exposed properly for his eyes to drink in. His staring to you on the other hand, has you feeling self conscious. You take a breath and start to move to shield your body from him, crossing your legs and bringing one of your arms over your chest to hide. He quickly stops you, whining at you, gently smacking your hands and thighs to get you to move them. He settles himself properly between your thighs and moves to pin your hands above your head with one hand. "Don't hide, beautiful. 'M only staring cause i think you're pretty." He smiles at the flustered look that comes back across your face and trails his free hand over the too of your bra. "I can take the rest of it off, right?" He asks, eyes still glues to your chest.

You hum and nod, so he wastes no time before reaching under you to unhook the only thing keeping your chest from his mouth. He almost drools at the sight of them when he moves his other hand from your wrists to toss the garment to the floor. There's quiet fuck that slips from him as his eyes catch on your tits the same way yours did earlier, and under such admiration you can't really tell when, if ever, your husband looked at any part of you with such genuine hunger. If feels nice to be looked at like this, so you try not to let your hands fall from where they rest above your head. His hands smooth down your sides, gripping every so often at the soft flush under his fingers til he gets to the hem of your panties, pulling and letting them snap against your hip as you yelp. He's tempted to rip them in all honesty but decides against it, simply sliding them down and off you to the floor as his eyes rake up and down you to figure out where to start.

His hands reach for your chest, kneading your tits and watching how responsive you are to him tweaking and thumbing over your nipples. He takes in every tiny whimper and breathess noise you make before taking your left nipple into his mouth and moaning at the taste of your skin. Your hands come down then, rethreading through his hair and unconsciously pushing him just a bit more into your chest. They're more sensitive than he thought, and you seem to love the way he flicks the hardened bud with his tongue before he takes a teasing bite and pulls it with his teeth just a little. He's not one to show favoritism in the bedroom, so he swaps to lavish the other with the same attention, biting just a bit harder to get you to make more noise for him. It all has him rutting his still clothed cock against your center, the wetness quickly seeping through the thin fabric and driving him to take his open mouthed kisses down your torso, leaving marks here and there to show his pathing until he's kissing the top of your mound. You tug his hair and he lets his drunken gaze float up to yours, mouth still kissing around between your thighs.

"You... Don't have to, if you don't wanna... Just so you don't feel obligated or something..." His brows furrow as his mouth sticks to one spot just above your clit as he takes in what you just said. His foggy brain has a moment of realization when he sees that you aren't just flustered, but embarrassed. He sits up a bit more as you gulp and raises his eyebrow at you.

"Did that fuckwit tell you he didn't like eating pussy?" He asks so bluntly it makes you curl up a bit as you avert your gaze, hands stroking his head still.

"He said it wasn't his favorite part but he did it because it was expected so I'm just- ah!! Fuck!" You're abruptly cut off as Atsumu opts to dive head first to your center, tossing your legs over his shoulders and running his tongue from your hole to your clit before sucking it into his mouth. Atsumu eats pussy for his own enjoyment, for fun. Your husband had you at home all the time and didn't constantly want his face between your lovely thighs? He didn't want the warm soft earmuffs and the, to Atsumu, gentle pressure of you squeezing his head with them? Because to Sumu, this feels like heaven. The muffled squeals as he slides his tongue from lapping at your clit to fucking your slippery hole and nudging his nose against your clit to keep the cute little button stimulated have him rutting into his mattress. You're overwhelming his senses and he's in love with it, it's a contender for being his favorite part of it in competition with how you taste. One taste and he's actively trying to devour you, as if he hadn't eaten dinner maybe an hour or so ago.

His hands grip onto your plush thighs and encourage you to clamp them even harder than you are now around his head as you whine and keen under him. Your fingers tug at his hair as you halfway guide his mouth where you want him, also grinding your cunt against his face and breathlessly moaning everytime he hums in pleasure against you. He opens his eyes when he feels one of your hands leave his head and lets them trail up you see your head tossed into his pillows and the hand you freed from his locks grasping at your chest, kneading your breasts as he did earlier and he can't help the way he basically growls into you. "Atsumu~ mmphf! Fuck, Sumu!" Oh god if he wasn't determined to get you to cum from the dumb shit you told him earlier, he was now.

He keeps his grip on your thighs, sluring and lapping feverishly at your pretty pussy, making sounds you'd truly be embarrassed of if you could find yourself thinking straight. He lets you use his face, lets you tug and pull his hair in a way that would be damn near painful, if he could think straight either to, to let you throw yourself off that cliff. He's only focusing on the moans clawing their way from your throat, getting higher and higher in pitch until you feel like you're about to crush his skull between your thighs. You call his name over and over, louder and louder until you go rigid and squeal as he helps himself to your sweet release, guiding you through wave after wave of pleasure.

Once you begin to paw and push at his head, he pulls himself up to look down at you with a wolfish smile and drunken gaze. His chin and lips shine in the daylight that floods through his bedroom window, the subtle warmth that still enraptures you keeps you from being as embarrassed about the sight. He moves his hand to swipe your juices from his chin before placing those same fingers into his mouth and humming at the taste. "You're husband has absolutely no taste, does he?" You giggle and move to sit up, a hand reaching to trail down his abdomen to the hem of his boxers but are stopped short by him pushing you back down and crawling to blanket you with his body. He kisses you deeply, sharing the taste still on his tongue with you and swallowing the little whimpers you give.

"Are you not gonna let me reciprocate that?" You ask when he finally parts, moving to trail his mouth down your neck and shoulder as he shakes his head.

"Uh uh, at least not this time. Next time." He assures, and you laugh softly in his ear at his confident insistence on this not being a 1 time thing. It makes you giddy, a man desiring you in a way that seemed so fairytale lately even tho you were supposed to be happily married. He nips at your shoulder and hums when you don't respond. "You'll let there be a next time, right darlin'?" He mumbles against your shoulder. You nod, dreamily humming as you turn to kiss his temple. At your agreement, he grinds himself against you, letting your slick completely soak through his underwear as you both moan into each other's skin. You grab hold of his shoulders as he keeps going, his grunts heavy on your neck as he tries to keep from going overboard. He does sit up, chuckling breathlessly as you whine at the loss of his heat.

He quickly slides off his boxers and when your eyes meet again, or rather when he looks at your face, the smile that crosses his face is smug. Your eyes were glued to between his legs, your lower lip caught between your teeth. He was bigger than your husband, longer and thicker though you'd say they were similar heights. Impressive sure was one way to describe it, the tip pink and glossed over with his arousal that began to run down his length. He trails his fingers from his abs to wrap around his dick, giving it slow stokes which catches your attention. You let your eyes follow up from his dick, soaking in the way the muscles under the skin of his tummy ripple and quiver, taking in how his chest rises and falls with his labored breaths. From his chest, you look to his face, catching how his eyes are intently glued to you as he seems to fight the urge to fist himself faster. Your grip on your lip becomes bruising, the wet plaps of his hand around himself causing you to twitch and pant.

He smiles as he stops, bringing his wet hand to your mouth with a slightly raised brow, a tiny gasp escaping him as you eagerly take his hand in yours and run your tongue over his palm and between his fingers. It sets him off, as he's quickly over you again, freshly licked hand guiding his hardness to your weeping center and mouth on yours with the full intent to make it hard to breathe. He lets his cock slide through your folds, swallowing your moans every time his tip rubs your swollen clit. "You ready, sweetheart?" He slurs against your mouth. You nod, clasping your hands together at the back of his neck, desperate mutters of "Please, Sumu..." spurring him on as he slides his way into you. He was happy at how easy it was; despite how tight you were, your pussy was wet enough give give him little resistance. He only pulled away from the heated kiss to watch your eyes roll into the back of head and listen at the drawn out noise you gave him.

When he feels you hike your leg over his hip and push him into you, he almost giggles at your eagerness. He moves his hands to the sides of your head, starting a steady rut into you before both of you whine at the feeling not being enough. "Please, Astumu.. Gimme more~" you ask so sweetly, how can he deny you? His hips begin to snap into yours, drawing out pretty high pitched moans and grunts from both of you. He moves his face to mark your throat and shoulder as he pumps into you, hands moving to grab your hips to prevent you from scooting up the bed as he starts to thrust faster and faster. He keeps his moth on your throat, grunting at the feel of your sounds on his lips and your nails digging into his shoulders as you wrap your other leg around his waist.

"Feel .. s'good baby. Y'er grippin me soooo fuckin tight- shit!" He curses into your neck, mindless babbles being all he receives in return. The smile on his face never seems to leave, even as he sits up to sit back on his haunches and starts using your hips to bring your velvety pussy onto him, your ass propped up just a bit by his thighs underneath. The angle has you keening, arching your back and grasping at his wrists as a way to ground yourself as he pistons into you again and again. The sticky wet squelch between you drags Atsumu's eyes down to where you both connect, rolling and threatening to close as the sight of his pelvis all glossy, pretty white ring encircling his base and shaft completely coated. The feel of your walls convulsing and clentching as your hips buck against his in a futile effort to keep up with his brutal pace is mind numbing, dragging almost whiny moans from his chest as his hands garb onto any bit of you they can and please.

When he does manage to tear his eyes away from your swollen cunt sucking him in, he lets his gaze lick up your body. From your tummy that he can see bulge with every pump in, to your tits that bounce so nicely, to your pretty face and the adorable fucked out expression that's plastered across it. He genuinely thinks you're so pretty, he can't wrap any part of his mushy brain around how someone could have you and not want to worship you all the damn time. You deserve so much. And he's damn sure gonna give it to you. "Y'er- so- fuck-in pretty!" Every syllable is punctuated with a harsh kiss to your cervix, just bordering on painful but still adding to the pleasure that has your eyes glued to the back of your skull. Your whines and moans are broken as they hit his ears, one large hand moving from your hip to your front, letting his thumb rub your clit and his other four fingers press above where his cock hits inside.

You shudder under his hands, twitching as you let out a weak warning of your impending orgasm. Though teary eyes, you see him nod. "C'mon darlin, cum nice an' hard f'me." He grunts, leaning up onto his knees just a bit more for leverage to throw you over.

And he does.

Your eyes clamp shut as you basically scream, his name tumbling out again and again as he fucks you through it. He's honestly a bit disappointed in the fact you didn't squirt, but there's always next time, right? He does fall over the edge after you do, your gorgeous climax having a domino effect on him as he grunts out your name like a mantra until he can't. The after shocks of yours guiding him through his own overwhelming haze of pleasure, and he finds himself drooling slightly by the time he comes back to earth. His body collapses next to yours after he pulls out and watches your cunt twitch and clench, letting his cum seep out and admiring it as it follows the curve of your ass onto his bed. He pulls you to him and you let him, snuggling into his chest.

He lays there for a bit, basking in the afterglow with you before getting up to get a wet towel to clean you up with as a bath runs. "Oh, you don't have to-" The stare he gives cuts you off as he wipes down your lower half, eyes narrowed at what you saying that now implies about how you were treated at home.

"I just fucked your pretty little brains out, sweetheart. I am not only obligated to clean you up and take care of you, but i want to. As any real man should." He emphasizes what shouldn't need to be said as he finishes wiping you down and goes back into his bathroom to finish up your bath. He carries you, despite protest, and sets you in as he says he's going to change his sheets. "Do... Do you maybe wanna stay over?" He's suddenly bashful, and it makes you wonder if the man who just made you cum harder than you have in years just a moment ago and this sweet, shy, country boy who can't seem to find your eyes is the same man. You nod, saying you'd like that. He finds your eyes then, dopey smile out in full as he hops off to clean his room.

He comes back just when you're clean and about to fall asleep, calling for you as he helps you out and dries you off, admiring your sleepy form as he slides a clean tshirt over your head. He guides you out this time, you smacking his hands when he tries to pick you up, his bed now dressed in a pretty deep grey color as he lets you lay down and get comfy. He's about to walk into the bathroom when your phone rings from the floor, you sucking your teeth at the ringtone. He rummages through your pants to find it again and frowns at it being the man neither of you wanna hear from. He does not the lack of guilt he feels about what happened tho. He hands it to your grabby hand and listens from the bathroom as you answer.

"Hello?... What does it matter what im doing?... I'm not at home, your dinner is in the oven. Is that not everything?... What you do in that house, in that bed is none of my business. I don't wanna hear about it either, not like i sleep there..... I have an attitude because you're bothering me... That's not even fair, what for?!... Sure, whatever. Move it i guess.... No, im not. Can i go now?" He hears you sigh and groan, but you seem to be off the phone, so he quickly hops in the shower before coming to cuddle with you in bed. The evening sun has set, the sky it's deep inky black through the window as he flicks on the tv to something neither of you pay attention to. He wraps you tight on his embrace and kisses your head, asking what your legal partner wanted. "He wants to use the guest room I'm staying in to house his little tramp because she's having 'family issues, don't be such a bitch. She's going through a hard time.'" You grown and half flail like you're having a tantrum, pressing your face into his chest. He grips even tighter, his blood boiling. That man has 0 respect and it shows so much.

"You can bring whatever things you don't want him to touch here." He offers, and you turn your sad, puppy like eyes to him. Even in the dark, under the mild light of his tv, he can see how glassy they are. It hurts his heart. "You can come by whenever you want, too. I'll never turn you away." You open your mouth, voice raspy with tears as you tell him of not wanting to intrude or be a burden but he stops you with a kiss. "Im not him. You will never be a burden to me. I mean it. Whatever or whenever, you always have a sizable place here." The tears fall but you smile at his sweetness, sharing kisses and sniffly thank you's with him. He pulls you on top of him, letting your head lay on his chest as he soothes his hands over your back, telling you to get some well deserved sleep. He thankfully doesn't miss your mutters of how much you like him already and how thankful you are before you're out cold. He places another kiss to your head, smiling as his own eyes close from his own exhaustion. Be it from fucking you like that or from being angry at your paper-only lover, he doesn't know or even care right now. He knows he'll have to explain himself to someone at some point, but that's a task for future Astumu.

Besides, he's just doing what his mama taught him was right, right?

Comments, likes, and reblogs are appreciated! Hope you guys enjoyed! ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

[vincess-princess]

in darkness shall you be reborn

Chapter 13.

Word count: 3073 Warnings: a bit of violence, i guess? A/N: hi hello it's me just a month after the previous chapter. my classes started and every day im running to work and then to uni across the entire city like a headless chicken so i don't really have much energy for anything else. but i'm gonna try hard to keep posting semi-regularly at least!

Vince’s guess proved true when he climbed the stairs to the hatch and peered outside. The pirates gathered in the middle of the deck in a circle, and within it there was movement and frequent, irregular clunking, each eliciting cheering or booing from the pirates. Occasionally he could hear Nikki shout. Vince hesitated a bit, pretty convinced it would be unwise to show up after Nikki so explicitly disapproved of it, but his bitterness over the recent humiliation prevailed and he climbed onto the deck and walked behind pirates’ backs until he distinguished Mick’s.

“Vince? Whatcha doing here?” Mick asked, startled when Vince patted his shoulder.

“Wanted to see what’s going on. I’m always missing all the fun.”

“Well, you have. Happy now?” Mick wanted to add something, but his voice drowned in Nikki’s yelling.

“Tom, are you trying to show us a minuet here? What’s all this leg-kicking? Feet firmly on the floor, shoulder-width apart, knees bent, or you’ll get knocked down immediately! Bobby, push him! See, you almost fell! You gotta be steady as a mountain or you’ll get trampled. Get in the stance now. Lower! Bend your goddamn knees! Alright, that will do. Bobby, push him again. See? Didn’t sway a bit. Now keep that in mind as you go for another round. Three, two, one, go!”

The clunking resumed.

“Oh yes. Finally it’s not me he’s yelling at. But – fencing lessons on a pirate ship, really? And you all are fine with him bossing you around like that?”

“Well,” Mick sighed, “you too admitted that the motherfucker is damn good. And you can’t let your skill go rusty, not in our walk of life. Besides, it’s a good way for the guys to blow off steam.”

“Can’t wait to see you in action.” The respect the crew and even the captain held for the cook was obvious, and Vince was dying to know what caused it. Mick didn’t look much of a fighter, but pirates were the kind of people who only respected brutal force, so there must have been something Vince couldn’t see – not yet, at least.

“You won’t,” Mick ruthlessly thwarted his hopes. “Twenty years ago, maybe. Now my bones won’t let me.”

“You don’t take part in raids then?”

“Close combat is not the only way to take down an enemy, y’know.” Mick patted his holster. No other explanation was needed.

They watched Tom lose to Bobby again when the wooden sword of the latter smashed into his wrist with a crack – hopefully the crack of wood – making him cry out and drop his weapon. His opponent was two heads taller, his arm as thick as Tom’s leg. Tom wasn’t capable of taking his opponent down by force no matter how hard he tried.

“The right stance here won’t help, not with their size difference,” Vince told Mick. “His endurance is also lacking. The longer the fight, the smaller his chance to win. The guy’s only hope is speed. He needs to focus on that.”

Mick gave him a long, hard look.

“You really think you know better than Nikki? He took you down in a couple minutes.”

“I know my theory.” Vince shrugged. “He, on the other hand, seems to be an intuitive type. He honed his own skill to perfection, sure, but he’s got gaps in his overall knowledge of the craft. For example, how it can be readjusted for different body types.”

“Well, your ‘knowledge of the craft’ didn’t help you much,” Mick said sharply. Then, seeing Vince’s hurt expression, softened somewhat. “You better keep it to yourself. Nikki’s not gonna like it if you go around undermining his superiority like that.”

“No one would listen to me anyway,” Vince huffed. “He made sure of that.”

“I wouldn’t be so convinced,” Mick smiled mysteriously.

“What do you mean?”

But the old pirate refused to elaborate no matter how hard Vince tried, and soon Vince gave up and switched his attention to the new pair of fighters in the ring. Slash and Duff were inseparable even during the training, Vince thought, as he watched them get into positions.

This fight was quite a bit fairer, as Slash’s almost snake-like agility compensated somewhat for Duff’s height and weight advantage. It could only do so much, though: multiple times he got too close to Duff to land a blow powerful enough to knock down, and imminently had to retreat when facing a counterattack.

“Are there, like, rules for the fight?” Vince whispered to Mick. “Or just freestyle?”

“Only one: the fight goes on until one is downed or disarmed.”

“No prohibited moves, nothing?”

Mick looked at him like he was an idiot. “The only exception is the eyes. Everything else is fine, as long as they don’t get too excited. Limit them now, they will never show their full potential in a real fight.”

“And if someone gets seriously injured?”

“With a wooden stick? Don’t be ridiculous. Anyone who’d let that happen doesn’t belong on the Shout. And Izzy’s here eating our food for a reason.”

Vince involuntarily searched the crowd for the skinny, black-clad surgeon. To his surprise, next to him he spotted a familiar ginger head.

“So almost everything is off limits then.”

“I’ve been trying to say that the whole time.”

“Then why doesn’t Slash go for Duff’s crotch? He’s gotten close enough several times by now. Duff’s completely open, he won’t have the time to parry or dodge. It’s so obvious - but Slash doesn’t seem to notice.”

Mick looked at him with amusement.

“Damn, you’re vicious. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be a dick, you ever thought of that?”

“Alright, not the crotch,” Vince backed down, belatedly realizing that he too wouldn’t want to do it to a friend. “The knee’s open as well, and you can topple anyone with a well-placed strike there- Oh. That must have hurt.”

Duff’s sword collided with Slash’s shoulder with a loud crash, kicking the weapon out of his hand and almost knocking him to the ground. Slash staggered back, grasping at the hurt shoulder with his left hand and cursing like… well, like a sailor.

“Sorry, mate!” Duff raised his hands in an apologetic gesture, but Slash spat on the deck in disdain, turned his back on Duff and walked away proudly, plopping down onto a bench just a few feet away from Vince and Mick. Duff frowned, but didn’t follow him; instead he handed over his sword to the next combatant and disappeared in the opposite part of the crowd.

“Slash, you gotta learn to lose!” Vince heard Nikki’s voice. “And also work on your grip!”

Pirates in the circle laughed. When Slash showed them the middle finger, they laughed louder. Vince swallowed a lump of yearning in his throat; it slid down his chest and stomach, coating his insides in cold slime. This laughter was so different from what he was always getting. Not jeering and mocking, but light-hearted and good-natured, the one you would hear from your friends when you trip over. But they weren’t his friends and would never be.

Vince hastily kicked the unwanted emotion into the back of his mind and forcefully smoothened the frown on his face before turning to Mick and speaking to him as cheerfully as he could.

“Wow. Did I just see the inseparable couple separate?”

“That’s not for long,” Mick waved his hand. “Slash only gets pissed at Duff when he loses, which is almost always. But he comes around quickly. Wait and see, they’ll be thick as thieves in an hour again.”

“Well, no wonder he loses all the time. His grip is fine, perfecting it further won’t yield much use. His problems stem from trying to use a strategy not fit for his capabilities. He’s pushing forward like he’s got all 200 pounds in him, and of course it doesn’t work. He should make use of his agility instead.”

Mick sighed.

“Do you just turn a deaf ear to me every time I open my mouth? You won’t like it if Nikki learns you’ve been shit-talking him. That includes talking to me. You never know who might be listening nearby.”

Vince couldn’t help but look around suspiciously, a chill creeping down his spine. There were several pirates nearby, but all of them were captivated by the fight. Were – or just pretended to be?

Then he looked back at Mick and grew even more uneasy.

“You wouldn’t…?” he trailed off, recalling everything he told Mick over those days on the Shout. Were Nikki to learn some of that, Vince would be fucked.

Not a muscle moved on Mick’s face, but his features as though sharpened, lines on his face deepened, and the chilling-blue gaze turned outright freezing.

“I’m not a snitch, princess. I know how to keep my mouth shut. That’s why I lasted so long here.” He looked away, crossing his arms on his chest. “You know, if Nikki had learned about your midnight stroll, you wouldn’t be sleepin’ in the galley no more.”

“Oh. Right.” Vince’s guts twisted into a knot. Did he just turn away the only friendly face on this ship? “Sorry, man. I never thought you’d do something like that.”

“Thinking is not a sin. Running your mouth before you think is.” Mick’s voice was still cold, sending Vince further down the anxiety spiral.

“How many more ways of saying ‘shut up’ can you invent?” Vince scrambled to come up with a joke to test the waters. To his relief, corners of Mick’s mouth curved into a smile.

“Definitely not enough for you to actually do it.”

“Well, who else is going to provide you with unwelcome yet high-quality commentary then?” Vince smiled, feeling the knot in his stomach loosen. This felt damn close.

Mick let out an exaggerated sigh. “If only you did your goddamn job with the same zeal… Y’know, if you’ve got so much energy to spare, maybe I should increase your workload?”

“I don’t like the direction this conversation is taking.”

“The only way to stop a conversation is to-“

“Fine, fine!” Vince groaned. “I’m shutting up.”

They watched a few more pairs of fighters. The majority of them were surprisingly decent, somehow turning the absolute lack of technique into their advantage. Those that didn’t manage to do so probably didn’t last long in this profession. Some, like Axl, functioned entirely on uncontained rage, which worked up to an opponent intrepid enough not to piss his breeches at the sight of an armed to the teeth pirate charging at him with insane eyes and a naked blade. Judging by how long Axl managed to last on the pirate ship, though, this tactics must have been working pretty well.

The ring emptied, and a strange silence descended on the ship for a moment before the pirates erupted in exulted cries. Vince couldn’t understand what caused it until a few seconds later, when he saw Nikki and Tommy walk into the ring, wielding real, steel rapiers.

“No way,” Vince could only mumble, watching them get into positions. “They’ll kill each other.”

“Relax, princess.” Mick looked at him condescendingly. “They do it all the time. Haven’t had any accidents.”

“Yet.” Not that Vince would mind Nikki getting impaled or, God bless, even killed, but it was much more likely to happen to Tommy, and, as backhanded and humiliating his protection was, it was still protection. Mick could only help Vince when on his territory; behind the closed doors of Nikki’s cabin Tommy was the only one capable of bringing Nikki to his senses.

“They know what they’re doing. You’ll see.”

The two pirates drew their rapiers.

Last time Vince only saw Nikki and Tommy in action together was at a periphery of his vision that was already clouded with rage, and then Nikki got him too fast to really understand anything except that he was damn good. Now Vince could see them properly, and that sure was a sight.

They started off slowly, even languidly, rapiers pointing to the ground, steps soft. Tommy attacked first – leaped forward, rapier flashing in the sun. Nikki ducked, his hair flying; a loud clank, and Tommy jumped back just as effortlessly, grinning from ear to ear.

Almost immediately – another strike, a whoosh in the air, another rapid retreat. Tommy pranced around Nikki like a young thoroughbred, showering him in quick, untargeted stabs, never too long in one place for Nikki to land a counterattack yet neither gathering enough momentum to penetrate Nikki’s defense. Not that it was even possible: not once had Nikki opened up enough for Tommy to land a hit, firmly standing his ground, parrying with short, precise movements, never move more than a step away from his original position. If Tommy wanted to exhaust him through endless attacks, he only achieved the opposite. His style would have worked on someone with worse reflexes or less steady stance; Nikki had neither of those things, so Tommy’s strikes, flashy as they were, grew shallower and more predictable as he depleted his energy. He wasn’t really to blame for this, though: so far Vince couldn’t spot any fault in Nikki’s move set, detect a single miscalculated movement. There really was not much to be done in this case.

Tommy must have grown tired and lost his focus, but Vince spotted the moment Nikki shifted his weight forward to counterattack earlier than the first mate. Chary and discreet – unexperienced fighters would even think lazy - in his movements before, now he charged forward with such force the lines of his silhouette blurred for a split second. Vince flinched, as if it was his stomach the cold steel was going to pierce. There was no way Tommy could parry that.

And Tommy didn’t. He swirled in place, turning his body sideways – rather awkwardly, but it worked. Nikki’s rapier stabbed the air mere inches away from his skin and withdrew just as rapidly when he returned back into his initial position, restoring the defense sacrificed for a daring move.

The pirates cheered and clapped. Vince looked at Mick round-eyed.

“This isn’t a performance. It’s real.”

“Of course, it’s real. This ain’t a circus.”

“He almost got him.”

“The key word here is ‘almost’.”

“A fraction of a second later, and we’d be wiping Tommy’s guts off the deck now.”

Mick pursed his lips in exasperation. “You don’t have to watch if you’re so faint-hearted. Nobody invited you in the first place.”

“It’s not about me,” Vince bristled. “It’s about your captain and first mate fighting to death and you all just watching.”

“Since when you’re so worried about them?” Mick narrowed his eyes. “Do you want me to think all your shaking and sniveling and midnight walking is just a show then? Because you go on like this, I might just start thinking that.”

Vince froze, mouth half-open. Yeah, he’d rather Mick spat him in the face than say something like that. And he thought hearing the faking accusations from Tommy was hurtful. Turned out it was a splinter next to Mick’s backstab.

“You think I’m faking?” he asked, his voice two tones higher than he wanted it to be. “You think I’m secretly enjoying it?”

Mick rolled his eyes. “No. I don’t think anyone would enjoy that. But to me, you do get too dramatic about it. A whore gets the same treatment as you every night, but you don’t see them lining up to throw themselves off the docks. And their pay usually only covers food and lodging, which you get for free here, so no benefits in that either.”

“You’re saying I’m overreacting.”

“I’m saying that you don’t realize how much worse it could have gotten for you if Nikki hadn’t decided to keep you here. You think they’d waste your pretty ass away at a plantation, like the rest of your crew? Ha. There are things that even whores won’t do, and that’s where slaves come in. And from what I’ve seen on you, Nikki’s actually pretty mild in that regard.”

“You call that mild-“ Vince began indignantly when a loud thump interrupted him, drawing his and Mick’s attention back to the fight.

Nikki, who up to this moment kept tight defense with only a few quick attacks here and there, went into assault. If Vince hadn’t seen him in that state before, the sudden change in demeanor from what seemed as careful and unwieldy, sluggish even, would have come as a very unpleasant surprise. It would also most likely be the last surprise of his life. Nikki’s blade moved so fast it was more akin to a silvery gust of wind; his whole body was like a string, receptive to so much as blinking of the opponent, almost predicting it. A chill creeped down Vince’s spine: he didn’t even realise during their incredibly short clash how damn deadly the pirate captain was. It even seemed as if he was purposefully holding back during their fight.

Tommy held up to his second-in-command status pretty well, though. It was clear how much his movement coordination lacked compared to Nikki, but his reaction and distance perception were incredibly well-developed for a self-taught former child beggar. His technique, or rather the mastery with which he employed the lack thereof, would first induce a heart attack in Vince’s swordsmanship teacher, who then, after being brought back to his senses, would offer to teach the ingenious savage free of charge. It wasn’t a surprise Tommy stood out among the rest of the pirates, and it was pretty clear Nikki chose him as his first mate not just because he and Nikki were a thing.

But the continuous attacks of the first half of the fight exhausted Tommy, and now Nikki made sure he didn’t have a single moment to catch his breath. Vince could see Tommy’s movements grow jerky and spasmic, his reaction time getting longer. His imminent defeat was a matter of a couple of minutes.

Vince’s estimate was very close: one hundred and fifty-two seconds later (he counted) Tommy miscalculated a step and ended up closer to Nikki than he intended. The punishment for the mistake was fast and merciless. The rapier rattled against the wood of the deck as Tommy collided with it with a loud crash and a pained groan. Nikki stepped up, lined the tip of his rapier with Tommy’s twitching Adam’s apple.

“You lose,” he said, smiling.

[danphantom]

oh hey i wanna talk abt smth thats been on my mind both lately and on and off for a while in general. sorry this ended up being a hella long post lol. but i have a lot to say

so...for context, ive been in the phandom for 10 years--since 2014--though it has admittedly been on and off in terms of engagement from me. in 2017 i got into dragon ball and all but dropped danny phantom completely with a few small drawings here and there. it was only like..within the past week that i actually got back into the phandom legitimately again, actively making art and posts about it and engaging with the source material and etc

anyway, i was obsessed with dp from 2014-late 2017 (until i got into dbz). i made lots and lots of fanart, played the gba games like all the damn time (i got to where i could speedrun tue lol), rewatched the show regularly...i was even one of those fans that bought obscure merch and learned useless trivia that ive since forgotten. in 2015 a lot of you may remember that i made @doppelgangercomic, a comic about an au i had where dan got a redemption arc (albeit a bumpy one) and future vlad was there and stuff happened (go read the comic LOL). it got a LOT of love and traction! it made me really happy to see all the positivity around my work like that :) i actually got a lot of positive responses towards my work in general. i had a really great time in the phandom back then

then i changed fandoms and kinda fell out of the phandom space. after being on a hiatus from the phandom until literally a week ago, i honestly have to say ive felt like i kind of...faded into obscurity in the phandom's eyes? basically i feel like old news. people dont generally know what doppelganger is now. they may have seen my art in passing here and there but they dont know who i am anymore. i think the only place people actively still find my old danny phantom art from when i was heavily active is...deviantart lol. i get notifications from favorites literally every day there. but uh anyway--im not saying this to garner pity or tell a sob story or anything! im just expressing some thoughts and feelings ive had for a long time lol.

the reason i bring this ^ up though, is because like...i know its not true? logically, i know that i DID make an impact in the fandom i loved/love so so much. i left my mark on both the fandom in an artistic sense, and also the people in the fandom, and sometimes i forget that because i get significantly less engagement on my posts than i used to. but i know that doesnt mean that people dont like my stuff anymore, or that ive been forgotten.

i actually got a message from someone today--a friend i made kinda recently who approached me bc they liked doppelganger actually. they told me that basically its surreal to them that theyre talking to me as a friend because they remember reading doppelganger when they were younger and looking up to me because of it. and it really reminded me of what i said previously--ive not been forgotten, and people still do appreciate and love what ive put out into the world (specifically about danny phantom in this case). ive made an impact on people's lives even when i dont realize it or see it physically. the message and sentiment made me feel really really good and nice and happy and honestly relieved, because the phandom and danny phantom as a media has been an extremely important and impactful part of my life ever since i got into it ten years ago. i literally changed my name to dan because of it lol. it was the reason i found stephen silver's work and went down that path of my art journey. its the reason i found so many amazing people and friends and artists and continue to do that even now. i owe a lot to danny phantom and the phandom as a whole, and i try to give back in the only ways i know how--mainly thru showing my passion through my art and posts.

anyway erm. yeah. all of this to say i wanted to thank yall--the phandom--for supporting me all this time, whether youve been with me from the beginning or if youre just joining me recently. youve been an absolute delight in my life and i know youll continue to be for a long time. :)

[shrunkupthejams]

hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

[theinkchild]

alright fine, making a silly post here since im dissapointed in engagment lol.

text ahoy ahead, for those of you who have forgotten what GD rambling looks like, since my blog postings are more and more rare these days...

and no. i refuse to use a readmore. this post should be shortened automatically for those on the dash, mobile, whatever. if not, SCREW it. i only have a few mins. one shot to ramble and i refuse to edit. will just spill my guts. BLEGH.

🔥🔥🔥 final warning long emotional post entry start 🔥🔥🔥

well to start off, yea i've been "on a break" since May. by break, i wanna define it as, changing my routine, doing something good for me that will benefit me, reflecting back on the stuff i did when i wasn't on it.

"a break" doesn't really matter here. i've been disegnaged. it's really hard for me to interact on here when i've treated this place like a grey area. it's the same for many places that don't feel like they're benefitting my growth atm. this place STILL holds alot of meaning to me, for being the 2nd platform i took root in, and started friendships (or also rather continued them) on.

i slowed down once i realized how the familiar craziness sunk too deep with me, and I've regretted some attitudes i've had in the past where i'd scream maniacally at nothing to earn not much back. like, i wasn't really getting it. and at the same time, i refused to do what i should have to make it more possible.

this time really mattered.

the growth i experienced while i was disengaged from here was quite a bit. i feel like i regained a part of me i always had latent, and didn't when i was with the wrong crowd, doing the same meaningless things day in and out.

when i was engaged in conversations that had more meaning, something back to give rather than a shallow laugh, everything started to click.

when i hung out with a different crowd not formed primarily by the friends i made here, i felt like i couldn't break away, but in a sense i saw something that i missed having... i saw the same journey i was taking but from more experienced folks.

when it came to a breaking point recently when someone deeply rooted in that community fell off, i took charge. i wanted to END the torment he casually brought to everyone. i ended up doing just that, and leaving everyone in that community with the best outcome.

NOW, i say this on my silly little blog cuz i doubt anyone in either group is listening. the chances are non zero, but i'm honestly happy if at least one person is listening, even if it's a stranger, or quiet long time fan of mine. i've been so disengaged here that i'm really just writing this for myself, like i always have been.

this place, where i feel like i lost some folks and may have even outright refused to make or advance any friendships just cuz i rejected plain invites to do so.. i could've done anything...

instead, i ended up sticking up for someone who needed it the most. everything just lined up for the both of us. all the STUPID drama from stupid misunderstandings, the grievances, the small issues, that all added up to the moment we had to do the right thing. all because even if the world gave up on us, we somehow didn't give up, even if both of us had to be repeatidly brought back to reality when we almost both ended ours on separate instances.

we helped eachother with the little freedom we had left.

we ENDED something that had to be ended and gave everyone the full happiness they deserved for all those years they didn't have it.

that, as insignificant as it is to literally 99% of the population, and fuck it, who the fuck cares if you were my old friend who hardly cared. idk bro. kindly fuck off if you are. i'm still somehow following you ._.

but, it's very very significant to me and all the friends i still regularly interact with. they mean the world to me, and i'm happy THEY saw me grow.

i will continue. to keep doing what i do best.

and i refuse to die or back down or abandon my blog, despite all the grievances i had in the past with it.

i'm just making a deeper mark on this world the more i prove i exist and continue to be a survivor.

even if my self esteem is bad on some days. even if my will isn't even as strong as a worm left to fry on asphalt.

i refuse to go on quietly.

and i'm stronger now because i refuse to be as bad as the people who treated me far worse. i finally gained some sense and standards.

and if you don't think that's crazy, then idk man enjoy your life. i'm gonna keep continue living mine lol

[shitsncraps]

saw a post where this family raised and butchered rabbits together, and the very young children were allowed to watch and participate in the process and im gonna leave my hot take here:

I like it

people nowadays are so far removed from their food that there’s some people who cannot tell you where their hamburger or their fried chicken comes from

(Disclaimer before i say this next thing: I have no ill will towards vegans and vegetarians, truly. I do not mean to mock them, i understand that for most people it’s about morality and not just dietary restrictions and I respect that. I used to be vegan for a good chunk of my relatively short life before I “fell off the wagon”.)

I think the reason why we have The Vegan Teacher and all these other extremely preachy vegans is because of the separation between Humans and Livestock. Because of this, when people see livestock, they see creatures that they can bond with and emphasize with. They only see that, and are so shocked we eat such beautiful creatures so flippantly that they get outraged and immediately recoil against it.

Animals like cows, pigs, etc. are equated to dogs or cats and of course, the people who live in a privileged enough environment where they don’t have to think about these animals as food sources. So comparing livestock to pets is shocking.

Of course it’s great that we live in a time where folks don’t have to think about where their next meal will come from (this does not go for everyone of course) but it really seems to make for sort of an unhealthy emotional disconnect from food and culture.

Now, there are good vegan substitutes for certain meats, but some of them are not always accessible, and there are some “unconventional” animal byproducts that cannot be substituted easily, if at all. On top of this, I have seen people shame others for sharing their cultural food for the way it’s prepared or what part of an animal is used or just for the fact that it has a part of any animal at all.

People now are so unused to the harvest of meat that they turn on each other, that they forget their roots, claiming that we were not carnivores, we were herbivores, in an incredibly binary stance that somehow erases the existence of omnivores, which we just happen to be.

I blame this mostly on the commercialization of food. This happens with vegetables and fruits as well.

Because a lot of our meat has come from factory farms where Creature Goes In and Meat Comes Out, people forget what happens in between. Because people don’t regularly see the cleaning process, they aren’t used to it, and like humans do, they don’t like it.

NOT TO MENTION THE EFFECTS ON THE COLLECTIVE VIEW ON DEATH!

anyway idk i just have thoughts and i must scream

anyway my hot take is that kids should be exposed to death a little more in a safe environment where they also get to learn where their yummy burger comes from.

uhhh and overzealous meat eaters should chill out too i think, they’re just as bad as the overzealous vegans. y’ain’t a caveman. cavemen ate plants too dumbass.

[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

Never Have I Ever (Youtube AU)

never have i ever with tony and peter was the most terrible idea, ever.

pairing: peter parker x youtuber!stark!reader

status: dating

warning: language and suggestiveness

disclaimer: both the reader and peter are over 18 in this fic. enjoy!

"okay, you guys ready?"

"yup" peter smiled at his girlfriend, excited to be in one of her videos again.

"whatever" her father rolled his eyes, not wanting to participate one bit coz he knew it was about to be a disaster.

"wow dad, love the enthusiasm" y/n rolled her eyes, like father like daughter.

"i know this is a trap"

"yet you fell for it" she smirked. tony was about to protest but his daughter cut him off with her usual loud ass intro-

"HELLO EVERYONE, welcome! today im here with two-"

"i swear to the god of thunder that's devouring out poptarts right now,  if you say 'two very special guests' i will disown you." tony interrupted, making a few avengers snicker. they weren't particularly in the video. y/n for some reason thought it would be nice to film in the living room, to make it look more 'natural' plus the fans love when an avenger casually pops up, so its a win win!

"a little aggressive there, tones" rhodey appeared walking behind them to grab something from the lab.

"what? i didn't raise my daughter to be basic-"

"would you guys QUIT IT" y/n snapped.

"sorry, honey."

"moving on" she sighed "today im with my all time favourite guest, which seems to be yours too..my boyfriend, peter!" y/n leaned her head to his shoulder as peter smiled adorably to the camera, giving it a little wave.

"hey guys!"

"and my father, Tony Stark" she gestured to him plainly as a joke which made tony visibly offended.

"for the record here, all the views you'll get after you upload this video? will be because of me"

"oh you wish, dad. you honestly don't understand how much of a fanbase pete has now" y/n laughed, rubbing peter's back proudly. peter looked shocked himself.

"i-i have a fanbase?" his brown eyes widened.

"yeah but we're not gonna talk about that now"

"wait, why not?-"

"because she doesn't wanna tell you that the fans think you're good in bed" Nat blurted out while casually sipping her coffee.

"NATALIA ALIANOVNA ROMANOVA" steve shouted from across the hall. you could practically feel his stern face. "HE'S JUST A GODDAMN KID" his voice echoed through the stair case.

"tell that to the GODDAMN MINORS THAT WROTE THOSE COMMENTS" she shouted back.

...

"what are we doing again, babe?" peter cleared his throat.

"oh, uhm yeah. TODAY we're gonna be playing Never Have I Ever! boyfriend and dad edition!" she announced "i'll have a set of questions and you guys have to flip the sign whenever you answer 'i have' or 'have not' got it?"

they both nodded

"okay, perfect" y/n cleared her throat "OH! i forgot to mention that i posted on my story what question i should ask them and a LOT of you replied! so thanks for that" she laughed, grateful for all the support her fans gave her.

it was like the weird connection where you dont know the person yet you guys are so close. maybe its because her fans were mostly the same age as her? or the fact the she's still young and uses social media regularly so she does reply to the comments and edits they made of her regularly?. sometime it may lead to her reposting it on her story, which were mostly edits of her and peter. it always brought a smile to her face and she loves it.

"okay!" y/n scrolled through the questions trying not to show them to the nosy people beside her. "guys!" she laughed covering her phone with her lap. "so the first one is, never have i ever, rode a motorcycle.."

peter sighed disappointedly and raised the 'have not' while tony proudly raised 'i have'

"of course you did" y/n rolled her eyes, making him laugh.

"what can i say, you have a cool dad" he looked to the camera and smirked

"yeah okay, Never have I ever, sang karaoke?"

"pfff seriously y/n/n?" peter spoke, both him and tony raised the 'i have' remembering all the embarrassing karaoke parties that were hosted in that very room, they were fun....except when it gets too competitive that no one could speak the following day.

"yeah y/n/n, i expected more from you" sam chirped in with his stupid bag of pringles.

"fine" y/n huffed "Never have I ever, gone skinny dipping with someone?" y/n internally cringed, immediately regretting asking the question.

"wow okay"

"shut the fuck up, samantha" she clenched her jaw. Nat and Tony's faces were rightfully shocked, while as peter? well he was as red as a tomato. screw that sign, he shook his head "no" so hard it made him dizzy.

as promised, tony was honest and raised the 'i have sign' and to make it worse, nat scooted closer to tony, making her visible to the frame, took tony's sign and raised it as well with a shameless smile.

"oh my god ew!" y/n covered her face "this was a bad idea"

"you think?" peter whispered.

"oh you guys ain't stopping now, im fully invested in this" somehow bucky ended up watching the whole thing while devouring that poor bag of chips as well.

"when did you get in he- okay never mind. never have i ever...." y/n tutted, each question she's received kept getting more and more graphic "wow, you guys did not hold back" she whispered

"oh, give me!" nat snatched the phone and looked through the questions herself. "oh y/n, nothing we've never talked about before" she waved her hand with a shrug. "Never Have I ever, given/received a lap dance" she snorted, and raised the 'i have'

"NAT" y/n was about to murder that littl-

*peter flipping the sign to 'i have' obliviously *

that fucking idiot.

the poor guy was happy that he finally had a decent question he could answer with an 'i have' that he didn't even think of what it might, or in fact, DID imply.

"wait, i'm sorry wHAT?" Sam screeched, and when i tell you screeched, i mean a full on traumatized, full of emotion screech. bucky and nat burst out in laughter, falling to the floor dramatically.

"10 bucks, bucky!" she teased holding her hand out as bucky gave her the 10 bucks with tears forming in his eyes.

"WHAT?" y/n looked at them in disbelief.

"what??? i knew peter was hiding something and those idiots didn't believe me so we betted on it! im still waiting for your 50,  sam" but sam was too busy to think of losing 50 dollars right now. he was petrified.

"i honestly wanna know what the father thinks about all of this" nat teased, looking at tony who had a stone cold expression. he cleared his throat,

"i would like everyone to answer the question. YES y/n, i'm talking to you" he slowly turned his face to meet his daughters and peter's eyes' which looked like its been haunted by ghosts over the last 200 decades.

"we should seriously go to the next ques-"

"Y/N LENORA STARK, ANSWER THE QUESTION" Tony was fuming, yet he kept his chill for the sake of the video that was about to be out for the public eye.

y/n sighed deeply, gently taking the sign from peter and raised it to an 'i have'.

that was it.

"turn the camera off"

"nO " for the first time in the last 5 minutes, peter spoke- well, squeaked. terrified for his well being in the next few minutes.

"no dad, we're gonna continue this and finish the game. I'm an adult! i can do whatever the fuck i want!" even though her heart was racing a 1000 miles per hour, she was tired of being treated like little kid.

"okay fine...fine. i'll continue, only because i wanna see where this is going" he turned to nat signalling her to continue. nat was about to ask another question when he suddenly interrupted her. "ACTUALLY, i have a question for parker"

shit.

"never have YOU ever touched my daughters ass?" tony asked, as if its a normal question to ask your daughters boyfriend. y/n's eyes skyrocketed to the moon and back as peters soul left his body. Sam couldn't contain his laughter and wheezed the silence away.

"uhm uh uh- what?" peter cleared his throat, subconsciously moving away from y/n by how hard tony was glaring at him.

"dad" y/n laughed nervously. "that's not how the game works-"

"yeah i know,  but i wanna know his answer" he turned to the boy that was about to shit his pants "peter" his tone could cut like a fucking knife "have you ever touch MY daughter's ass?"

see there were two options here, either web y/n and go to Barcelona like they've planned for their future? or confess to a fuming billionaire who could blast his head in a matter of 5 seconds.

"i-i- " peter did neither. he couldn't even form a sentence. the whole room went silent as they've watched what tony was about to do next.

"yes or no, peter" tony got impatient, trying to think of million ways on how to kill a guy but not really killing him, you know?

peter reluctantly took his sign, and looked at his girlfriend to mouth an 'i love you'. as he prayed to not have a painful death. slowly, he raised his sign to an 'i have' not bothering to open his eyes.

"that's it-" with one swift motion, peter heard the sound of metal clinking so he opened his eyes to see that tony was putting on his suit. hands in front of him, ready to fire.

"DAD-"

"shut it, y/n. its not like im actually gonna kil-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" peter ran for his life. only a few seconds later running back to lift y/n by her waist, and rest her on his right shoulder, then speeding to the door. "COME VISIT US IN BARCELONA"

*door closing*

....

"what just happened?" sam blurted out looking at the door as nat sighed in disappointment,

"goddammit tony. if you didn't act like a total maniac, we could've known if they've ever roleplayed

it was a little rushed, but hope you guys liked it!

have a wonderful day :)

taglist-

@sealswat90 ✦ @xfeliciahardyx ✦ @gf4hjp ✦ and @tom-softie

[ch3rry3lossom]

Hello!! I'm so sorry for being so inactive and not posting anything at all. I have been very busy lately and have had no ideas or motivation to write. But luckily I have a few ideas in mind that should keep me posting for about a few weeks! With that being said I should be posting more regularly now!

Well let's get onto the post then! (≧∇≦)b

------------------------------------------------------------

☆ A Sweet Angel from the Sky ☆

-------------------------------------------

✧ Characters - venti, Xiao, and scaramouche!

✧ Summary - Genshin boys and how they would react to you being there for them and comforting them!

✧ Warnings! - a bit of angst and sadness!

----------------------------------------

♡ Venti ♡

It was a normal, peaceful day. You had just gotten back home from an errand you had to run. You wanted nothing more but to get home and be smothered by your warm husbands touch. As you entered your home you called out to your lovely bard, hoping he wasn't too busy

"Venti!! I'm home!" you called out but got no response "hmm that's weird usually he would come running down the stairs by now" you said as you headed towards the stairs that led up to your bedroom

As you finally reached your bedroom, you gently knocked on the door. "Venti my love are you in there?" as you said those words, you heard shuffling inside the room and finally heard the bards voice

"Y-Y/n? You can come in" the bard quietly said

(Hm? His voice sounds kind of hoarsed) you though as you slowly opened the door and saw the bard sitting at the end of y'alls bed looking down sniffling a bit

"Venti?" you quickly walked towards him and gently grabbed his head, making him face you

As you did you noticed his eyes have turned a bit red with his nose a dusted pink

"Venti? Have you been crying?" you asked worried

Venti tries to get out of your grasp but fails as he starts to cry more

"Hey what's wrong? Come on talk to me, I'm here for you" you say as you gently stroke his cheek

Finally after a few minutes he calms down a bit and looks towards you

"I-im sorry Y/N, I-i just remembered my old friend and I didn't know how to feel. I just.....feel like I stole his identity in a way.Sometimes I worry you only fell in love with me because of him....i know it's a selfish thing to say but I don't even know if I would've been here with you if he didn't die and continued living. I feel so bad" the bard says as he starts crying again

You quickly pull him into a hug and gently stroke his hair

"Hey don't think that. No matter what you're still you, you're still venti deep down. You're still the loving, affectionate, energetic bard I know. I fell in love for you and only you. Don't feel bad alright? It's okay to feel this way" you quietly whisper to him as you continue to gently stroke his head

After a few minutes, he pulls away, lightly sobbing

You smile as you gently wipe a tear off his cheek and give him a quick kiss

He pulls you in, gently kissing you back and softly biting your lower lip

After a few seconds kissing, you both finally pull away and gently bump your foreheads onto each other's, looking at each other's eyes

"Thank you Y/n, thank you" venti says as he lets out a deep sigh

You smile and close your eyes, relishing the deep quietness of the room "of course, anytime my love"

----------------------------------------

♡ xiao ♡

It was another day without seeing and being with your husband, xiao. He was off again doing his duties as always. You understood of course but slowly began to miss his company and touch more and more

You didnt want to be clingy since everytime he was here you would always be besides him and giving him affection in a way

Of course he would do his part as well. Whenever he could, he would bring you a flower as a gift or write letters to you if he couldn't come home that day

You appreciated the effort, you did but you wish he could've made a quick visit instead once in a while

It's not that you didn't have friends as well to keep you company, you did but most of them were far too busy as well to hang out with you each day

You decided to just swipe away the thought and head to bed early. It was getting quite dark after all

After maybe a few hours sleeping, you heard a shuffle through the bed sheets you were laying on and suddenly felt two warm arms wrap around you

You turn around and see xiaos head pressed against your back, that's when you also realized you started feeling his hot breath against your skin as well

Confused you say "xiao??? I though you weren't coming home until another 2 days???"

You suddenly felt his arms squeeze you a bit more tighter

"Do you......not want me here?" he says quietly

You quickly turn around completely, your chest now facing his head. "N-no! I do want you here! I missed you! I'm just confused is all" you quietly laugh as you wrap your arms around him and gently stroke his hair

He let's out a deep sigh and muzzles his face deeper into your chest

Nothing his slightly off demeanour, you decide to ask him what's wrong. "Xiao? Is anything the matter?"

After a few moments of silence he finally speaks

"Are you......tired of me? Are you only staying here with me so that you don't break my heart? Am I not treating you right or being here as often as I should be? He says, his voice raising with every question he asks

"Xiao.....of course I'm not tired of you. I love you and i would never leave you or pretend that I'm in love with you because I truly am. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. Don't stop doing your duties because of me. I do want you here a bit more but just being here with you is enough" you say as you give him a quick kiss on his forehead

He looks up at you "are you sure? I'll try my best to come home more early from now on"

You smile and gently kiss him, he gets a little surprised and hesitates but soon returns the kiss, gently grabbing your hair and pulling you down to kiss you more deeper

Finally after a few minutes you both pull away. Xiao going back to nuzzling his face onto your chest

You smile as you close your eyes and continue stroking his hair, finding peace in his slow breathing and the quiet sound of the night

----------------------------------------

♡ scaramouche ♡

Hello! So I'm kind of upset since I wrote a very good story for scaramouche in this post but because something went wrong with saving, it deleted everything I wrote for him! I don't have good memory so I'm going to summarize what I wrote in as much detail as I can! I'm so sorry about that!

Basically you were picking up flowers for him since hes a very busy man and doesn't come home often. You though gifting him a present would be good since you always do that whenever he comes back home. So you see him and run up to him and give him the present and usually he would blush and scoff while complaining to not do it in public but nonetheless takes the flowers

Right now tho he just nods and takes the flower and walks towards y'alls house

You get confused but brush it off and follow him

You usually hug him from behind so that's what you do and usually he would complain and whine about how clingy you are but still give you a quick kiss and hug you back but this time he shakes your hands off and walks upstairs towards y'alls room annoyed

You start getting worried and follow him and see him laying down on the bed. You ask him what's wrong as you sit besides him

He starts saying how you're always near him, giving him kisses and gifts, loving him and how he doesn't understand why you do all that

You tell him it's because he's your husband and you love him

He asks how you could love someone like him since he dosent always return your love or at least now how hes supposed to. He also dosent always come home and how people have been gossiping about how he dosent love you or appreciate you

You shut him up by giving him a kiss and giving him little pecks around his face and telling him how none of that is true and you love him for him and understand

He whines and scoffs before pulling down onto the bed with him and telling you to keep giving him kisses as he hugs you and lays his face on your chest

You giggle and keep giving him kisses

He thought to himself how he's selfish for wanting your love and not wanting you to ever leave him. Nonetheless tho he appreciates and loves you a lot and promised to come home more and show you how much he loves and appreciates you in his own way.

----------------------------------------

Again I'm so sorry if for scaramouche it seems rushed! I will either include him in another post and make sure it's very detailed this time or make a short story for him! Let me know what you guys think and if y'all have any suggestions or ideas!

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

[emma-frxst]

Smooth Criminal 10

summary: you've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal

pairing: detective!Colossus x criminal!Reader

a/n- hi everyone! so so sorry about my hiatus! but im back now! planning on posting this series more regularly! let me know if you want to be tagged. sorry this chapter is short, writers block is hitting me pretty hard. thank you for bearing with me, I love you all. reblogs and comments are v much appreciated. 

-

*previously on Smooth Criminal*- y/n is commissioned by Sebastian Shaw and Victor Howlette to steal a rare artifact from the Smithsonian museum of natural history. As y/n is making plans to do this and Piotr shows up at y/n’s apartment and asks to come in.

-

Your heart started racing and your palms grew sweaty at the sight of Piotr standing at your door.

“Of course you can come in, give me a moment I’ve got..” you began to panic. “I've got my laundry everywhere.”

Before Piotr could respond you shut the door and frantically gathered all the blueprints and other suspicious contraband and shoved it under your bed.

Laundry, right, aka blueprints of the damn Smithsonian. You desperately hoped Piotr wouldn’t notice.

You opened up the door back up and let him inside. Something was definitely wrong. Your heart raced inside your chest, your thoughts went 100 MPH. Had you just been caught? After all these years this is how you go down?

“I’m sorry to just show up like this y/n but today was a hard day and I needed to see you.” Piotr said wrapping his arms around you.

“Of course my love, you’re welcome here any time.” You responded, hugging him back.

Except right now, right now isn’t a great time. You thought to yourself

“Why don’t you sit down on the couch baby? I’ll make some tea.”

“Thank you милый” (darling).

You walked over to the kitchen to brew some tea, your hands shaking and your heart still racing.

You took some deep breaths to calm down to Piotr wouldn’t notice your nervousness. He seemed to believe that you really did have the laundry everywhere. Not bad for a lie off the top of your head.

You came back with the tea and sat beside Piotr.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked.

He sipped his tea and let out a long sigh.

“Work has been very frustrating, it’s been months since the impressionist robbed the gallery, and we are no where. I feel like I’ve let everyone down, and let you down. You worked so hard on the gallery and-”

“Piotr,” you interjected, “you haven’t let me, nor anyone else, down. I know you’ve been working super hard. Let’s just rest tonight, ok? You deserve it.”

“But what good am I if-”

“Piotr…you’ve tried and tried and worked very hard but you’re worth more to me than how hard you work. Not everything always works out and that’s ok.” you took his larger and in yours, swiping your thumb across the back of it. 

Piotr paused, reflecting on your words. “Thank you, милый, you always have the right worlds to say. I love you.”

“I love you too.” you replied and kissed Piotr’s forehead, his soft skin a nice change from his usual metal self. 

As you and Piotr snuggled on the couch watching a movie, your thoughts still ran through your mind at 100 mph

You hated doing this to him, constantly lying, deceiving him. You really did love him and wanted to be with him. But you knew with your lifestyle, it was only a matter of time before it all fell apart.

You looked over at Piotr’s sleeping form, you didn’t want to hurt him, You loved him with everything in you. 

You knew what you had to do, but telling Victor and Shaw was not going to be an easy task. No one ever quit the black market society he was running, and if they did try to quit they ended up dead. if you had to end up dead at the hands of Sebastian Shaw, you prayed Piotr would never find out why.

-

tags: (tag list of open, send me an ask if you want to be tagged, removed or only tagged for certain characters.) @chromecutie @xenomorphique @evelyn120700 @nightriver99 @iamwarrenspeace @this-that-and-every-thing-else @hsk-puma @bungeewabbit @pianomad @lesbianstarkx @hazilyimagine-blog  @super-darkcloudstudent @thehuntress26 @siren-lamented-vampire @mooleche @rovvboat @leo-writer @dandyqueen @nitemaremotionless @thewintersoldierswife

[sakuatsu]

YELL 2 ME ABT SAKUATSU FIC RECS PLS

oh boy. oh boy do i have much to talk about

here’s a list of my sakuatsu must-reads under the cut! complete with links, word count, ratings, and occasional commentary because i’m incapable of shutting up. this isn’t in any particular order either 

(keeping this sfw and organized into canonverse/AUs. a * means i am on my hands and knees begging for you to read this)  

i’ll try to update this somewhat regularly :]

most recently updated august 25, 2020!

canonverse:

*your highs and lows (series) by astroeulogy 

a post-time skip canonverse series born from these two questions:

1. what if sakusa kiyoomi, known too-blunt jerk, is equally straightforward about his soft, tender feelings?

2. what if miya atsumu, resident big fat jerk who doesn't care if his teammates hate him, is too emotionally stunted to notice when his one of his teammates actually likes him?

this is like the sakuatsu series but it’s blasphemous to not recommend. the first fic in the series is all that you were (4.6k, T). mind the ratings on a few of the fics, but my personal favorite is #3: a masterpiece of domesticity called you have tamed me (5.7k, T). these make me ACHE 

*sakuatsu domesticity simulator by pseudoanalytics (T)

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

this fic...this fic...op is literally one of my favorite artists of all time but Did You Know that their writing is also off the charts. what a wonderful use of second person and the pacing is so good. too much skill in one person 

*The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (11.4k, M)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

i think this is the fic that got me into sakuatsu in the first place lol i was looking very specifically for msby socmed fics and now here we are. this fic is unbelievably funny

*liminal spaces by hhatsuna (25.9k, T)

Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the grainy team photo on his bedside table.

It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

*Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (15.7k, M)

Where “You already make me the happiest guy alive, babe," gives way to, “I’ve not been happy for a while now.”

Alternatively known as the ‘mug fic’.

yes this is a breakup fic. yes im going to recommend it anyway. breakup fics usually scare me a lot but this one is too good for me to not say anything about. nuanced and delicious. i look at the mug on my desk and feel pain

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (8.4k, T)

You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Koi no Yokan; 恋の予感 by ymra (15.3k, unrated)

Wherein Sakusa dreams of his future selves and discovers a little something along the way.

autumn ends, but we remain by wolfsbvne (5.3k, T)

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

your fingertips, branding irons by Ceryna (5.8k, T)

Between the accidental touches he's reconciled, the deliberate ones he's endured, and, from those he's built years of trust with, obliged– Kiyoomi has never wanted to let someone indulge.

Never, until Atsumu.

take what’s yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (5.9k, T)

atsumu falls in love four times in his life

(or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (10.4k, T)

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

*where i want to be by tookumade (8.8k, G)

In the time they’ve been teammates at the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa has never been to Atsumu’s place, and Atsumu has only been to Sakusa’s a few times. There’s an unspoken understanding here: that Atsumu knows him well enough to know that nobody’s house or apartment would ever really meet his ridiculously high standards, and he is most comfortable in the home he’s made for himself.

That, and, Atsumu being over at Sakusa’s means that he has to host him and do the cleaning afterwards, while Atsumu can just flit off back to his own place. So. There’s that.

Tonight. Tonight is not business as usual. Tonight is not familiar.

*san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (8.1k, T)

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (10.8k, T)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

four leaf clover by vicari_us (5.9k, T)

Once, Ushijima claimed that they ‘got lucky’. If properly honed, their body types could become near invincible weapons.

However, unlike Ushijima, Kiyoomi’s weapon required a bit more care over the years to reach the condition it had become. He was born iron, not yet forged into steel.

Exploring what it might have taken to turn a genetic mistake into an athletic miracle.

*the 28 postcards you left me by wheelspokes (8.3k, T)

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

such a unique premise & this is so beautifully structured. stunning flow and who knew animal crossing could convey so much longing...

AUs:

Pas De Deux by hhatsuna (dancer!sakusa au: 19.0k, T)

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes, and the twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?” Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

*my love, take your time by bastigod (archaeologist!sakusa au: 9.0k, T)

There was something sublime about wandering around an empty museum. Nothing could compare to the sound of his shoes clacking against the marble floor, the morning sunlight gently streaming through the lofty windows and the peaceful solitude of ancient stone kings overseeing their silent kingdoms.

A day in the life of Doctor Kiyoomi Sakusa, Archaeologist.

i’ve literally been thinking about this fic every day since it came out. you will not find a story like this anywhere else, i guarantee you. what a clear labor of love this fic is it’s truly something so special 

three roses and a smile by strawberrycitrus (surgeon!sakusa & microbiologist!atsumu au: 19.7k, T)

“I just got this job, I’m not givin’ it up for some moral boost ‘cause I actually need to pay my rent, ya insensitive -” Atsumu waves his hands around, trying and failing to come up with the right word to convey the amount of injustice that this gaunt motherfucker has brought into his relatively simple life thus far.

“If you can’t pay your rent, go get a job at the McDonald’s over by 8th Street,” Sakusa growls, “it’ll pay more than your researcher position.”

If you even attempt assault on a coworker, forget teaching about cells - you’ll fucking be in one, Atsumu.

*Dance of the Parallax by astroeulogy (ogre spirit!sakusa au: 6.7k, T)

For the last twenty years, Atsumu’s done all that he can to break his betrothal to the ogre spirit Sakusa. If he can just make it through one more night, he’ll be free.

honestly, just read everything by astroeulogy. i’m recommending this fic in particular because it has such an ethereal voice to it. magical

across oceans, across centuries by starstrikes (pacific rim au: 20.0k, T)

Six days ago, Osamu died and left Atsumu with this: Atsumu, you have to—

(Namikira rises with the tides and rips Osamu and Vulpis Empress away in one fell swoop. Six days later, Atsumu wakes up alone in a hospital bed and learns how to swim.)

you don’t actually need to know pacrim to appreciate this. a wonderful exploration of grief and recovery. also it’s exactly 20k words which is both satisfying and terrifying 

*Notte Stellata by awkwardedgeworth (ice skating/dancing au: 20.8k, T)

"Your partner doesn't need to hold anyone's hand other than yours," Sakusa's father crouches, "And you can wear gloves."

Sakusa ponders. He hears the other skaters of rink two whiz past as they launch themselves into lifts.

"Alright," He looks up from the ice, not knowing how he'll dedicate the next couple of decades to this sport, this partnership, this boy.

what a stunning fic. a beautiful progression of sakusa & atsumu’s relationship, rife with references to real skating programs, beautifully written and structured. so full of longing i’m in mild physical pain

[joongsfavedenim]

it’s like part of me must want this // johnny

pairing: johnny x reader

genre: light angst, suggestive

words: 1k

author notes: i don’t write reader fics very often anymore, but this one has always stuck with me for some reason. also i’ve never posted my writing on tumblr and i’m kind of nervous??? anyway feel free to let me know what you think or come find me on instagram ! & song inspo: slow grenade - ellie goulding

Johnny (6:37pm): hey, Taeil told me you were back in town

ynnie (7:13pm): fck I’m never talking to that mf again

ynnie (7:14pm): bitch can’t keep a secret

Johnny (7:22pm): i take it you don’t want to see me?

ynnie (7:28pm): unfortunately it’s quite the opposite

Johnny (7:31pm): what nights are you free

ynnie (7:34pm): tonight?

Johnny (7:35pm): i’ll see you at mine then

//

“Wow a doormat,” you marveled. “Who lives here— the mayor?”

“Are you trying to clown me for buying a doormat?” Johnny asked, shutting the front door behind you. The scent of his home came to you gradually, as if your body was adjusting to being here again. It was the kind of smell that you wouldn’t be able to describe to another person if they asked— it was just...Johnny’s house. And, as you insisted that you were merely just proud of him for the doormat, the scent of your past continued to envelop you.

“Do you mind if we don’t do the small talk thing?” He reached up to brush a bit of dust off the top of a nearby bookshelf as you stood together in his living room. “We already know everything that there is to say.” Johnny’s voice was quiet, bordering on sheepish. But you both knew he was right. By coming here, you had again acknowledged the sickening need you had for one another.

You took in a shuddering breath, watching him. The energy that had been building in your chest on your drive over here still hovered underneath the surface. Your expectations were buzzing and your senses alight. “Don’t you want to beg me? The way you did last time?” you started, taking a small step toward him. “While I tell you over and over again that we’re bad for each other and that we shouldn’t do this?”

He said nothing aloud but the pleading in his eyes mirrored yours. You let him move toward you another step. The brief moments that your eyes peeled away from his gaze were used to drink in the details of him: the curved corner of his mouth, the soft pieces of dark hair that had fallen away from his face.

“Do you want me to beg?” He was close enough now that you felt the air of his words on your face.

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. “You know you don’t have to.” You reached for Johnny’s wrist, making first contact. “We both knew this was inevitable.” The last few words were muffled by his sweater and, thank god (or whoever), you were finally lost in his arms.

Getting to the bedroom had always been just as fun for the pair of you as actually being inside it together. “Wait,” he breathed, tickling the hairs on your neck as he pushed you into the wall of the stairwell. He lengthened his arm out, separating your bodies as ragged breaths fell from both of you. His palm was in the center of your chest, gently holding you in place. Your eyes involuntarily closed a few times - your nerves so full of disquiet that it almost made you drowsy.

“I can barely look at you,” you admitted, choking slightly on the words. The magnetism between you continued to tug at you in the pit of your belly.

Johnny whispered something and you cut your eyes up, catching the outline of his lips in the low light. The blood rushing in your ears finally cleared as you caught the last of his sentence: ...basically, I’m addicted to the way you look at me. A warm rush of adrenaline crashed through you, but you stood where he held you — mutually captivated even as the subtle poison of this reunion had started to seep into your bodies.

After you had sex, you were the first one to insist that this time was the last time. A few hours later, when your bodies were tangled in the sheets for a second time, you had both opened your mouths in the same moment to agree that it was really over for good. But even now, as you watched Johnny’s chest rise and fall under the blue glow of the television, your body ached for him from across the mattress.

The dependency you had bred was so ingrained in you that it felt just as natural as breathing at times, yet it felt like a new discovery each time you indulged in each other. Which is why, as his finger innocently grazed your prickly thigh, you decided that it was worth it.

The high of being with him was worth every tear you would shed on your way back home. Worth every sob stretched out across the highways that increased the distance between you with every passing moment. Worth every heartbroken text you would receive from him over the next few weeks until you lost touch again for a while.

Around four in the morning, Johnny rolled onto his side and, as he had done countless times, drew you into his arms. He placed his chin on the top of your head, chuckling softly. “Keeping your lips a safe distance away,” he explained.

You joined him in soft laughter. “There is no safe distance for you and I,” you spoke quietly.

You felt him still, his chest going rigid against your back, perhaps from the weight of your words. And it may have been a stifled sob that you heard next, or he could have just been clearing his throat, but either way, that was the end of your conversation. And the last sound you would hear from him for some time.

When you gathered your things in the morning, he had already gone. He left a somewhat warm cup of coffee for you in the microwave as well as a note telling you how to lock up, despite you having done it regularly in the past. The following days you spent in your hometown were numb, and the only thing you could feel was Johnny’s absence.

About a week later, after you had returned home, the next step of the cycle began.

Johnny (12:21am): missing you sicks

ynnie (12:40am): you mean sucks?

Johnny (12:46am): must be the beers

Johnny (12:46am): yes I meant sicks

Johnny (12:47am): s u c k s

ynnie (12:49am): youre cute. and it does suck.

Johnny (12:54am): im sorry

ynnie (12:58am): no, please don’t be. you’re everything.

ynnie (12:59am): we’ll find our way back.

ynnie (12:59am): we always do ♡

//

[halalhyungwon]

check-in tag ♡ @okaysign 💕

1. why did you choose your url?

bc hyungwon <3

2. any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

i have a handful but I don't use all of them that much

@jaeyooniverse - sf9, created mostly bc i wanted a place to spam jaeyoon LMAO other the main im on this one the most

@dawonlog - dawon update blog, i fell off a bit bc I got busy and also just don't like trying to keep up with everything, but I missed it so im kinda back to using it now

@pynkwonu - pink/aes blog. used to also post/reblog fics there but haven't really done that in a long while

@daze-like-this - another aes blog. still not entirely sure how to describe it but I think it's nice lol

@svnshine - another main, an aes blog & also a space for more Islamic posts. I tend to go on there when I get tired of this one or just need a clearer headspace but still wanna mindlessly scroll thru tumblr? lol honestly I think it's been almost a year since I when on this one tho

@4-matcha - ..for matcha 💀 idk I just wanted to make a matcha blog. I used to post/upload regularly but now it's a miracle if I reblog anything there once a month

@wonufleur - for art/gfx, resources/references,,, never used it regularly tho

@wordshenanigans - langblr, language learning resources, don't really use this anymore esp since i dont follow a lot of active langblogs but on occasion I come across a post that id like to save for reference so I put it here

@lqvav for vav screencaps and occasionally updates,, dead tho;-;

@jihoonloveblog for jihoon 🥰 unofficially closed, we haven't posted in forever lol

@smilesf9 for smiley sf9 content,, look i really wish I could've actually kept up with this i kinda wanna try to bring it back 😭

@sanqyeonn officially closed lol my tbz blog which I used to be on as much as my sf9 blog sdkhdjdh

@hotdog-guy i made this mostly as a joke but for my little brother bc he used to really like the hotdog guy meme so I'd keep posts there to share with him

i also admin and am a member for some nets idk if that counts for this and ive already said so much so ill stop there lmao

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

I made my blog in 2014 but didn't really start using it til 2015

4. do you have a queue tag?

I dont really queue on here and when I do im not consistent I don't always tag. when I do tag I just put #queue or #(this is a queue)

my tbz blog had such cute queue tags🥺 and my sf9 blog has a good handful of tags too

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

it was a joke lol I told my friend we should make a blog together and my first url was actually a mashup of our names

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

bc hyungwon <3

7. why did you choose your header?

bc hyungwon <3

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

probably that clip of vernon going YES

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I've never counted lol but last time I did a follow forever thing I think there was over 30 and that was a few years ago so I guess it's more now ?

10. how many followers do you have?

800 something

11. how many people do you follow?

1070 i think

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

lmao probably

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

too much lmao i should uninstall the app again

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

i don't think so? I remember someone started arguing with me/complaining on one of my posts but I ignored them lmaoo

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I usually end up scrolling if a post says that unless I think the info actually is something to be shared. but then I usually try to look for a post that presents the info in a way I actually like lol

16. do you like tag games?

yes !

17. do you like ask games?

yes !

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

kkkkkk @fanaas is the first that comes to mind but yeah like you said there's a diff btwn popular/famous. i think a handful of my moots are popular at least within their fandoms

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

same liz, a friend crush !

20. tags?

ummm no I don't think I'll tag anyone. but thank you for tagging me !!! 🥰❤❤

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Recovering Your Catfish: Touch

Summary- 1.7k Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Reader. You are up early to make that Lemon Layer Cake for later that night and Frankie comes searching you out, wrap you into his arms. There was once a time he wasn’t always this affectionate in his recovery. 

A/N- A self indulgent series I don’t expect anyone to pay attention to. But I just love this boy being so soft for his girl. I am tagging @babiiface95​ cause she helped me with these thoughts. 

Masterlist

The smell of lemon and sugar took over your sun warmed kitchen, the windows open to allow a breeze to flow through before the day got too hot. It was also why you were up early in the morning, before even getting dressed to get this lemon cake made for tonight. 

Confectioner sugar was spread around the counter top where you were making the frosting, the cake sitting next to the oven ready to pop it in as soon as the oven would get to temp. 

Your finger dabbled into the beginning mix of the frosting, bringing it to your mouth to suck the sweetness off in a test. More zest was needed and you got your grater to start taking off some of the peel, humming along softly to the radio Frank had wired in the window by the sink, the antenna only being able to pick up any decent stations from that spot. 

Frankie came down the old wooden stairs in just his boxers, having woken to find you gone. Which was not unusual, but the drive to have contact was strong, it grounded him from all those bad thoughts that regularly plagued his mind. Instinctively he knew you would be in the kitchen, and he was about to cross the threshold when he saw you at the old butcher block you used as your kitchen island. 

Your back was to him, your hair was curled up into a messy bun atop your head, strays of hair poking every which way as you didn't bother to brush it yet, just balling it up off your neck to combat the heat that was already starting. The slope of your neck was tilted as you studied something he couldn't see. Your tank top had ridden up slightly to expose the dip in the small of your back, cute boy shorts covering your bottom, but then from there down was bare legs and feet dancing slightly in place on the old worn linoleum flooring he promised to one day replace. 

You were so perfectly at home that you didn't break from what you were doing when you looked over your shoulder to smile at Frank, your lips turning up almost lazily as you greeted him good morning between your singing along to the radio. 

“What's got you up so early Frankie?” You ask as you tap your grater over the bowl and roll the lemon on the wood to loosen it up before slicing it in half, going to squeeze it in the frosting. You felt heavy masculine arms slide around your hips while he pressed his face into your neck, breathing in deeply. 

It had been a few days since you brought him home from the airport, aside from that hug and grasping your hand, Frank had yet to really let you touch him. Not even in his sleep would he let you press against him as you normally did, cuddling each other in sleep. Every morning you would find him gone, sleeping in his chair in the living room with the television on mute. At first you tried to be understanding, give him his space while he adjusted back to everyday life. He had been through an ordeal, one you couldn’t begin to understand. 

But it continued, day after day the way he kept space, sure to never let his fingers brush with yours or take a step back when you passed him. You could see from his expression that he wanted to, but was holding himself back. 

One night you two were watching tv, on opposite ends of the couch. You could see him looking down at a beer bottle in his hands, rolling it. Not even focusing on whatever was playing. You had spent the time side eyeing him, trying to figure out how to bring this new distance between each other up to him. 

Might as well just do it you finally decided when you pushed up off the couch and approached him, taking the bottle from his hands. “Frankie…” You said in that soft way you always said his name, shifting him to sit back and you straddled his lap. 

His eyes went wide, his hands held away while he stuttered. “Wh-what are you doing Y/N?” 

You slid your hands along his chest and reached to take his hand and place one on your hip, then repeating the action till he was holding onto you. 

“What does it look like Catfish?” You purred slightly with a smile. “I missed you and wanted to cuddle. But is this okay?” 

“Yes… I guess?” Frank muttered, looking a bit lost in how to respond. You could feel how tensely rigid he was, nervous and uncomfortable. 

“I woke up Mon Cherie and you were gone.” Frank muttered against your neck, pressing his entire body in against you like he couldn’t get close enough, you chuckled while tilting your head so he could nibble against the length of your neck.

“I wanted to get this cake done before it's too late. Gotta have something to serve the neighbors when they come over this evening for supper.” You scooped a bit on your fingertip once more and held it up over your shoulder which he took a teasing taste, refusing to let your finger go from between his teeth and a swirl of his tongue. “What do you think?” 

“Open a bakery and I will be your little errand boy for more tastes of that.” he rumbled when he finally let your finger go so that you could return back to whipping your frosting till it was smooth, tinted just barely yellow from the fresh lemon you added. 

The welcoming citrus scent was paired with warm kisses on your neck as Frankie nuzzled in against you, sure to grind himself against you, his tone gravelly, and you were unsure if it was the early morning hours causing it, or the excitement he was building up between you two. 

“How can I entice you to return to bed Mon Cherie?” 

You grab some saran wrap and cover your frosting, slipping from his hold so his hands fell to the butchers block, watching you while you stuck the frosting in the fridge and slid the cake into the now warm oven. 

“You got… 45 minutes before I HAVE to be down here to check the cake.” 

A grin cracked on his face, his hair still askew from waking up and making him look boyish. 

He was so stiff underneath you, his breathing clipped like he was trying to tolerate your touch. You had been pressing gentle kisses on his neck, but you could tell he wasn't enjoying himself and you pulled back. Maybe it was too soon, or maybe… 

Maybe he no longer saw you that way? 

Usually whenever he returned home after being away on a mission, you couldn't keep him off you. Not that you tried. Even during the bad ones. 

This time, it was so different and you were lost about what to do. It was only seconds but the bit of doubt in your eyes matched the sadness in his own. “Im sorry Y/N…” he started and you just shook your head, moving to untangle yourself from him but he grasped your hips to hold you in place, sinking you back onto his lap. “It's not you, I swear.” 

Frank could always read your emotions since the day you met. You didn't try removing yourself again and fidgeted your fingers together. “What is going on Frank?” 

He let his hands fall to the couch cushions, rubbing his palms against them while he worked his jaw, looking for the words to say. “Y/N… I’m tainted. Like after this mission, you deserve better than me. Its killing me, cause I just want to keep you but fuck baby. I don’t deserve you.” 

Your brows arched in confusion, not at all expecting to hear that from him. 

“Frank why would you-” You started and suddenly he was moving to a stand, you sliding from his lap to the couch. “-Where are you going?” You scramble up, but he was so quick, quicker then you could process and he was out the door and off the porch. You rushed to the door, watching as the truck's headlights flicked on, cutting through the swamps darkness and pulling away, more confused than before. 

You laid sweaty on your back, staring up at the lazy way the ceiling fan swung through the humid morning heat. Frank was laying further down the bed, his head laying on your belly, humming satisfied himself as your fingers brushed through his hair gently, letting yourself enjoy the post orgasm bliss. 

“Mmmh, you know Frank that timer is about to go off any minute.” You break the silence and he groans while rolling to his side to look up your body at you. 

“You want me to go check it?” 

Lifting your head from the pillows, you arch your brows with a smirk. “Do you know how to tell if the cake is done?” 

Frank shrugged a bit. “Well… it can’t be hard can it?” 

You shoved at his shoulder with a shake of your head and reached down to grab his shirt from the night before since it would cover you enough to go streaking through the house. “Catfish, you are going to make me burn my cake and have to go get something from the ice box if you had it your way.” You stuck your tongue out at him as you left the room. “And I ain't serving the neighbors no wanna be homemade cake.” 

You sprinted into the kitchen just as the timer went off and grabbed mitts to stuff on your hands. Pulling open the door, you pull out your delicate cake that has raised beautifully. You could already tell that it was gonna be like your Granny's cake that you grew up with, easy to layer and would be a lovely decadence to finish off the night with. 

Frank followed along behind you, just not with as much of a rush. So he happened to catch you leaning over to pull the cake out at just the right moment. 

“I swear Mon Cherie, I will never be tired of seeing you in the kitchen.” He approached again, this time his hands finding your bare hips under his shirt sweeping just over your ass. 

“You're insatiable.” You mutter while checking the cake with a toothpick to make sure it was coming out clean. 

“Only for you.”