#I worked on this instead of editing my next video for the last few days

[vanya-mortis]

oh no...

ponies......

my one weakness.............

Based on @cherrifire's designs because I love them - Thank you Cherri for the inspo :-)

Individual sketches (and alt eye colors cause I couldn't decide) below

I only gave these flats, so if anyone wants to give them real colors please feel free! Just tag me so I can see :-)

[kdinjenzen]

My final words on Rooster Teeth & just SOME of my experiences there.

I’ve been waiting to say anything directly for a long time on this subject in hopes that something - anything - would change and get better, but it’s obvious that this is just “how it is there.”

So it’s time for me to finally say something about Rooster Teeth.

I joined the company, officially, as a contracted content creator and editor in February 2013. I worked to create a monthly video game news/release series. I produced episodes every month until I was officially hired as a full time content creator/editor in November of 2013.

From February 2013 until November 2013, I went entirely unpaid for all of my contract work. I was never given the payment promised for anything I did. When I was hired full time and I brought that up, I was told that “it’s been so long already, it’s not really a big deal is it?” And then the subject was never brought up again.

Within a few weeks of working at Rooster Teeth I was given a nickname, that nickname was a slur. Every day I came into work I was called “Fggt” - but they could not use that name in content so when anyone was recording I was called “Fugz” instead. For any fans who used that nickname for me for years, that’s what you were calling me. I couldn’t say anything about it, I had reported the use of that nickname for years to HR, and nothing was ever done about it and the videos that use that nickname for me are still up.

When Christmas rolled around my first year, 2013, I was given a “bonus” of about $100. Any money I had at the time was extremely helpful as I had nearly nothing to my name, so I was grateful for it. But a long time member of the company looked at me as I was handed my small bonus and scoffed “Why do YOU get a bonus? You’ve only been here for five minutes.”

In my first years there I would arrive at work around 7am (two hours before everyone else) to begin editing videos and would often have to stay until 9pm to get as much work done as possible. This was actively encouraged so we could have a backlog of content, but I was always given “rush orders” to edit more important videos to go out either the same day or next day. That’s when the crunch began for me and it did not end.

From that point on harassment started, and not just toward me. Any time I brought up mistreatment or that “making fun of people in content only encourages the community to hate us” - I was waved away saying “IT’S JUST A JOKE! Ignore the comments!”

This “ignore the comments” mantra was a way to excuse their own behavior. Anyone who was not “important” was constantly made fun of with no way to defend themselves or be part of the content in a way to defend themself even jokingly so. We were silenced at every turn.

Jeremy, Matt, and I tried to make content together as often as we could in those earlier days. And we rarely got the chance to do so. I remember being yelled at for making the Zelda video with Matt after it had already gone up because it was a “waste of time”.

During that time I was put into a position where I ignored my own physical health to focus more on work, which eventually caused me to come down with pneumonia. I spent several days in the hospital with a fever over 112F. When I was released I was back to work only a few days later and with the same work schedule.

Eventually I had enough from the department I was working for at the time and moved departments in hope that I would be better treated elsewhere in the company. I still loved the work I did, I loved some of the people at the company, and I believed that if I put my effort into it I could make things better for everyone.

The department I transferred to promised me a producer job and show running their new podcast while also being tasked to edit videos and sometimes write stories for news channel. I was never given the producer position in that department, I was never allowed even near the podcast unless they were “desperate for a last minute person”, I went entirely uncredited for anything I wrote for them, and I was pushed to edit 3 videos from start to finish every day with little to no turn around time so they could be posted immediately.

My hours in that department were 7am until 11pm.

I was crunching harder than before.

I wasn’t allowed to be in anything.

I had my name removed from everything I worked on.

I was put in an office where I was forgotten about and swept under the rug, people even IN the company forgot I worked there with how sectioned off and pushed aside I was.

In 2016 I came out as trans and many people at the company publicly voiced their support on social media.

Inside the company however, things got worse.

People had no idea how to deal with a trans woman, so I was interacted with even less and only trotted out every so often to show off “We Hire LGBTQIA+ People!”

It was only at this point where the nickname “Fugz” finally stopped being used all the time. Three years of content with that name being used toward me and all that content is still up.

During that time my acting manager began to harass me and lie to the community any time I was “planned to be on camera and couldn’t show up” - many times it was said to the audience watching that I “had already gone home” when I was in the other room crunching to finish my job and the work of my manager.

The harassment continued and I began to spiral into a deep depression, wondering what I could do, I eventually reported it to HR and the “solution” was that they brought in my manager who was harassing me into a Two-On-One meeting where the manager said “oh I’m sorry” and that was it. The way I was treated did not change at all and actively became worse.

I then went to one of the founding fathers of the company to express my concerns, and was told that I was “too nice to work at Rooster Teeth” and that I should “just quit and find somewhere else to work” - I was horrified.

At the moment I couldn’t do anything but feel horrified and powerless. I was an out trans woman in Texas in 2018 and was told “just quit and find work elsewhere in Texas” a state that actively finds ways to keep our rights from us.

Throughout my employment I also struggled to get the company insurance to cover my transition despite Rooster Teeth telling me that “Oh it’s all good” - because of their inaction and lack of help in this matter I amassed horrible amounts of medical debt despite being “completely covered” by them.

I still am recovering from this debt now as Rooster Teeth has been underpaying me for years, my raises were frozen by my manager at the time, and because of that I never received a proper raise even up until I quit earlier this year.

Until the end of 2020 I was paid around $40k per year as a Producer/Director. Far below the industry standard. If not for the help of one person fighting for me to be paid properly, I wouldn’t have gotten bumped up to the pay of the lowest paid person next to me. Which was nearly $70k. I was shocked that I was being underpaid by nearly $30k.

During the 2019 layoffs, I was actually one of the people affected. I was very nearly laid off as well, but was told to either move to LA and work there (at the $40k per year rate which is UNLIVABLE in LA) or be laid off immediately.

I agreed to move to LA, Rooster Teeth said they would be giving me $5k moving costs to pick up my life and move to LA by March of 2020. The money never was given to me and then COVID forced the company into moving to remote, meaning my job was actually saved by COVID happening.

Crunch during the height of COVID was monstrous. Every department was forced to push out more and more content and do more and more work to make up for “losses” - many of us were working 7 days a week and extremely long hours.

I helped run the 2021 Anniversary Stream Event, but in the middle of production I had to undergo life saving surgery and was told I needed AT LEAST two weeks rest before going back to work. The person I was working with to schedule that event took credit for all the work I did up to that point and then BLAMED ME for anything that went wrong with it because “I wasn’t doing my job” while I was recovering for major surgery and was on mandated medical leave.

BRGs (Business Resource Groups) were created at this time to help with representation issues inside the company. I did everything I could to help the other BRGs as well as the Queer BRG I helped lead. By mid 2021 I was told “we’ve done enough for the queer community” - which hurt to hear as I felt like we had barely accomplished anything and were still struggling to have accurate representation on screen as most of our PRIDE stream events featured mostly Cis/Het talent still.

During this time there was a lot of outspokenness for the mistreatment of minority groups inside of Rooster Teeth from former employees, lots of fans asked “Why didn’t you all do anything about it?”, to which I say actual ground level employees did everything they could. But we could only do so much.

At that moment I asked for transparency for how others, not just one or two employees, were treated in the company - myself included - and was essentially told that “the company is going through a lot right now just leave it alone”. How I was being treated and how others were being treated was once again swept under the rug.

I left Rooster Teeth because, despite thinking I could make positive change in the company, they proved that I couldn’t every step of the way. From 2013 until 2022, I did what I could to help my fellow employees, make positive change, and help the industry.

It’s also worth mentioning that for every bit of VO I did before I left Rooster Teeth, I wasn’t actually paid for any of it under the idea that “I was an employee, so I don’t need to be paid for VO.” In that case and the way it was viewed, I was paid less than $30 per hour for each of my VO sessions. Which is well below any industry standard.

But I was ultimately silenced and pushed aside.

This is all really just the surface level, there’s so much more I want to say but honestly it’s all so exhausting at this point and I’ve done everything I can.

I still struggle regularly with the emotional, mental, physical, and financial damage that was done to me over those years.

There are good people still working there, I’m friends with them, and I wish them the best.

TL;DR

Feb 2013 - Nov 2013. Unpaid Contract Work

Fugz = Fggt, reported to HR nothing was done

2013 Christmas "Bonus" $100. Long time members disapproved of said bonus

14hr work days, rush orders for same or next day videos

"Any time I brought up mistreatment or that “making fun of people in content only encourages the community to hate us” - I was waved away saying “IT’S JUST A JOKE! Ignore the comments!”" RT crunch caused pneumonia, no recovery period on return

Crunched harder, physically isolated "people even IN the company forgot I worked"

RT never fulfilled their deals promotion deals

15 hr work days

2016 came out as Trans, Transphobia harassment started

Acting Manager lied to the community and harassed me, HR did nothing and enabled harassment

Founding Fathers knew and did nothing. Said “too nice to work at Rooster Teeth” and "just quit and find somewhere else to work"

RT did not properly support medical insurance coverage

End 2020 Position Producer/Director, paid $40k. Next lowest paid person was $70k.

2019, forced to move to LA or get laid off. RT never paid moving costs. COVID forced remote jobs thus SAVING my job

RT INCREASES crunch during COVID

2021 Anniversary Stream Event. Had LIFE SAVING surgery, majority work stolen by coworker and blamed production failures on me during MEDICAL LEAVE.

BRG created to help with representation issues, mid 2021 RT said "we've done enough for the queer community" PRIDE stream events still mostly Cis/Het talents

Mistreatment of minorities in RT ignored "“the company is going through a lot right now just leave it alone"

Unpaid for VO work during tenure at RT, May Marigold and RWBY Fairy Tales included.

Handful of good people. Bad Company.

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 4

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: not edited, angst, mentions of alcohol, pregnancy, food word count: 1.3k authors note: sorry it's late & short but i was sick and then had writers block. i hope u guys like it!! if u like it let me know but if you hate it also let me know. also HUGE thanks to @barzysbaby for the help with this chapter!! it probably wouldn't have been finished without your help! if anyone wants to be added or taken off the tag list, let me know! you can shoot me a dm, send an ask or fill out my tag list form.

requests are open 🫶🏻 masterlist masterpost ask box taglist form

After your unexpected heart-to-heart with Mat, you begin to realize that you’re starting to tread on some thin ice with your relationship with him. Letting those feelings you’d tucked away start to come back was a recipe for disaster because you had Nora to think about. If he really wanted to be a part of her life, the two of you couldn’t start a relationship because if it went wrong, it would ruin the opportunity for him to be in her life comfortably. 

However, the problem is how perceptive Nora can be. 

Letting yourself have ‘just one moment’ with Mat last night was a bad idea because you wake up on the couch the next morning, Mat holding you close, and a grumpy six-year-old demanding breakfast. 

“Eggs please,” Nora demands, curious eyes watching you and Mat. When you make no move to get up off the couch and get her breakfast, she stomps a foot and crosses her arms.

“Grandma said I could have eggs for breakfast,” she says and then pauses before adding: “and she said I could have pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes.”

“You’re not at grandma’s, are you?” you reply, watching her frown. 

“Well then can you bring me to grandma’s?” she replies without missing a beat.

You open your mouth to tell her no, you won’t be bringing her to grandmas with that attitude when Mat interrupts. 

“I’ll make some pancakes,” he mumbles sleepily, sitting up and pulling you with him. You turn to tell him no but your mouth goes dry because you forgot how good he looks in the morning. You’re staring long enough that he notices and a smirk tugs at his mouth but he doesn’t say anything, instead standing up and offering a hand to Nora. 

“Let’s go make mom some pancakes,” he says and she smiles up at him and it’s just so damn domestic that you want to cry.  

You watch them walk over to the kitchen and start preparing the ingredients while you sit there, trying to pull yourself together. He’s falling so seamlessly into being a parent that you can’t decide how to feel. His attentiveness and patience with her could be temporary and then when he realizes how hard being a parent really is, you’ll be left to clean up the mess he leaves behind. On the other hand, he might be serious about the entire thing and everything could work out.

Nora's giggles catch your attention and you look to see Mat cracking an egg on her forehead like the video he had sent you a few days ago, claiming that he would try it on Nora. Almost as if he can sense that you’re watching them, he looks up and catches your eye and grins, tilting his head slightly.

“You wanna help or just sit there all morning?” he teases so you stand up and make your way to the kitchen to stand next to Nora, kissing the forehead when she grins up at you. 

“How can I help?”

. . .

It was inevitable that the hockey world would catch wind that Mathew Barzal had a child. Whether it was his now ex-girlfriend, or just someone from home that spilled the beans, suddenly all the sports sites had articles up about it. They can't legally say Nora’s name or show photos of her because she’s still a minor, but they can definitely dig up old high school pictures and find your instagram.

It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together for people to realize that you were his baby mama. You had to turn your social media accounts private because you were suddenly having people comment on your photos, and sending DM’s. Most of them weren’t the nicest, accusing you of kid-trapping Mat and while you knew that it was useless to be upset over it, it was hard. They didn’t and would never know the details but it bothered you to no end, and unfortunately, you took your frustration out on Mat, who took whatever you threw at him. You said things you regretted the next morning and he would just smile and tell you it was fine. 

But it wasn’t, and everything crashed down about two weeks after the first article was posted. You woke up to your phone buzzing, calls and texts from your mom, Jax, some other friends and even Liana. 

And a single text from Mat that had just two words, and a link attached.  

baby daddy: I'm sorry. instagram.com/matbarzal 

It was a statement, clearly written by a PR Manager from the Islanders organization. The statement basically said that Mathew Barzal did not in fact have a child. It was just a rumor floating around that a disgruntled fan spread. A lot of people called it bullshit, saying that it was PR cleaning up a mess, which technically they were doing. Then, there were the fans and journalists who did believe the statement and tried to take back whatever they may have said that was mean. 

It wasn’t the things other people were saying about it though, it was what Mat wasn’t saying. After the post, he ghosted you for four days, ignoring all the texts and calls even when they were about Nora. Liana and Nadia still asked to see Nora on the weekend that she normally does so you dropped her off Friday evening, noticing that Mat’s car was nowhere to be seen. Nadia and Liana didn’t say anything about the situation, just thanking you for letting Nora stay over for the night and promising to call if anything came up. You didn’t have anything planned so you went back to your apartment, hoping to catch up on some overdue work you’d been letting pile up.

Halfway through writing a draft for a chapter, there’s a knock on your door. You’re once again suspecting it to be Nadia or Liana with Nora but you come face to face with Mat.

Again.

His eyes are trained on the ground, refusing to meet yours. There are a thousand things you want to say, most of them not nice at all but what comes out is: “beer?” 

His head shoots up, clearly not expecting that response from you but he nods his head and walks in when you step to the side. He toes off his shoes and walks straight towards the kitchen. By instinct, he opens the fridge to get himself a drink and then pauses, looking at you sheepishly.

“Beer?”

“Water,” you reply and he nods, passing you a bottle of water. You both sit at the kitchen island, drinking your respectable drinks in silence until he clears his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t know that they were going to write that. Our public relations manager wrote it and just told me to post it. My agent asked her to clean things up a little because it was getting out of hand. I didn’t want to hurt you or Nora, I swear.” 

“It’s too late for that,” you say sharply. “You said you want to be in Nora’s life but she can’t be a secret, Mat! You can’t say you want to try, and then turn around and tell the world that she’s not yours. If you’re not going to be in this one-hundred percent, then you shouldn’t be here at all.” 

He must take your last statement as a dismissal because he stands up, slips his shoes on and leaves, closing the door a little harder than necessary. 

You sit in silence far too long, part of you foolishly hoping that Mat will come back but you know he won’t. Not today at least. So, you go back to working on your draft but you can’t focus. Part of you wants to try and put yourself in his shoes, to try and understand why he didn’t fight harder against what public relations wanted but you can’t. You can’t imagine not being Nora’s mom and you wonder if maybe this is the way out he was hoping for. Maybe he decided that being a parent was fun for a little while, but when he understood the real consequences and struggles that come along with it, he realized he didn’t want it. That he didn’t want Nora.

Maybe this is his out.

tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @teapartydreams @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal

[tastefulstars]

And I fell, I fell

Throw together a last minute cancellation, a helpful Robin and list of questions, and you've got yourself the romance of the century.

eddie munson x f!reader

c/w: 18+ only. MDNI. smut and fluff. so much fluff. mutual pining. eddie being a cutie. no y/n. protected sex. piv. oral (f receiving). not proof read.

a/n: eddie is a hopeless, gross romantic and u cant convince me otherwise and this is 7.6k of me proving myself correct.

masterlist

Your phone ringing startles you out of your daze, making you jump slightly in your chair. Reaching for it, you don't bother to look at the caller id.

"Oh you're alive, that's nice" Robin's voice cheerfully says, you blink rapidly at your computer screen.

"Why wouldn't I be alive, Robs?"

"I dunno! Maybe because you've been MIA for the past five days!"

You can hear the frustration and concern in her voice and you immediately feel guilty. You sigh softly and rub at your eyes.

"I'm sorry, Robbie" You murmur, "Work's been a lot."

"I worry about you" She confesses, "Like, have you even been eating? Sleeping? What's so important you've got to check out for nearly a week?"

You scrunch your face up because, she's right - you've been doing the bare minimum but you weren't going to admit that.

"I'm fine, really. Just been editing a few of the interviews I did last week and then this morning I had someone bail out at the last minute so I'm trying to find a replacement to do the interview at the end of the week."

Robin hums.

"I'm coming over"

She hangs up before you have a chance to respond and you shake your head. Standing, you groan as you stretch your arms over your head before you decide to just call it a day and have a shower.

The warm water feels heavenly on your stiff body, and you let yourself relax under the spray. You're just stepping out of the shower, steam filling the room and wrapping a towel around you, when there's persistent knocking at the door.

You debate for all of three seconds on whether to answer or get dressed, ultimately deciding to let Robin in first, knowing that she'd just knock harder and louder until you did.

She pushes her way in as soon as the doors cracked open an inch, she closes the door behind her and starts pushing at your shoulders.

"Get dressed, Jesus"

You roll your eyes and throw your hands up, muttering about bossy, annoying friends. You shuffle to your room though, pulling on soft jeans and a shirt and make your way back to Robin who's curled up on the couch and cradling a can of soda in her hands.

"Alright, sit" Robin says, patting the space beside her and you throw yourself heavily down next to her, resting your cheek against her shoulder.

"You okay?" She asks, pressing her cheek against the top of your head and you nod softly because yeah, you were fine, just busy and tired and overworked. She holds the can to you and you take it, sipping at the bubbly drink. An arm wraps around your shoulder and you feel yourself go boneless against her, relaxing for the first time in days.

"Work sucks at the moment" You admit, leaning on your friend, "I've got so much to do and now I'm gonna loose the venue for Friday because the person I was interviewing cancelled on me and like, I can't afford that you know? It's expensive and I just, I don't know what I'm gonna do Robbie"

"Anything I can help with?" She asks softly, "I can't really do much for editing videos and whatever but, yeah."

You feel a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"You don't happen to want to be interviewed?" You tease, "Could start a new series where I interview my friends instead of like, famous people"

You're joking, knowing that Robin would kinda hate being in front of a camera while you ask her questions about herself but you could see it working - making it a silly little thing where you just have fun with it, rather than the serious interviews you've been stuck doing.

"God no" She laughs for a moment before pausing, "But, I could ask Eddie?"

"Hmm? What's Eddie got to do with this?"

"Eddie Munson, y'know Corroded Coffin?"

You scrunch your nose slightly, pulling back to look at her.

"You mean to tell me that your high school band friend Eddie is the same Eddie from that massively popular metal band? And don't they refuse to do interviews, like, all the time?"

"Yes and yes, it's something about wanting to focus on the music rather than them but he'd do it if I ask nicely."

You chew on your lip, considering it. It would be a massive help, having someone to actually interview and that someone being notorious for refusing to actually participate in interviews but at the same time, you don't want to put Robin out or Eddie.

"Look, I'll ask, the worst thing is he'll say no and if that's the case, I'll do the interview." She says and you feel a weight lifting off your chest, you lean back in to wrap yourself around her.

"Thanks, Robin" Your voice is muffled by her shoulder but she squeezes you back.

The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon watching shitty videos and snacking, and you feel more relaxed than you have in weeks. You murmur your thanks as you hug Robin goodbye and laugh softly at her stern warning of no more work today, her finger pointing at your face. You agree, considering ordering take out and having an early night.

You're wrapped up in a soft blanket on the couch, lights low and a movie you're not really watching when your phone buzzes.

Robin: Eddie's agreed to do the interview. send deets.

to Robin: You're an angel amongst men, Robin and I love you.

Robin: ur right, I am. love u 2.

You send her the address and times and thank her about five more times before you put your phone back down, and focus back on the movie and you're not too sure when your eyes slip closed and you're asleep.

The next couple of days fly by in a daze of editing and deciding the direction of the upcoming interview. You didn't want it to be stuffy, overly serious and god forbid, boring, so you pester Robin for little tidbits of information about Eddie and you find yourself racing around your apartment the morning of to get ready.

You've never really seen photos of Eddie from Band but you have seen photos and videos of Eddie from Corroded Coffin and you knew he's hot and while you didn't want to come across as unprofessional, you wanted to look good so you spend extra time styling your hair and making sure your outfit fit just right.

Loading your car up with your equipment and set-up took longer than you'd like and by the time you're pulling up to the building, you've only got thirty minutes before Eddie was due to arrive. You rush through set up and you wish you had an assistant for days like today.

A soft knock against the wall and your name being called startles you. You let out a quiet noise of surprise and whip around to see Eddie, smiling wide at your reaction, and your heart stutters. You knew he was handsome, you knew that, but the photos and videos didn't do him justice.

Tall and wrapped in black denim, cotton, silver chains and rings. His hair was curled to perfection, soft and silky, wide brown eyes and plump limps and you realize you're staring and not saying anything.

"Eddie, right?" You gesture to one of the chairs you'd set up, "Thank you so much for doing this, you and Robin have saved me a lot of grief"

He saunters over to you, smiling warmly before sitting in the chair. You almost get lost in watching him again but you force your eyes away, not wanting to be a creep.

"Ah, it's alright. Had nothing better to do today, to be honest."

And god his voice, you wanted to hear it all day. Wanted him to whisper nothings into your ear and you feel yourself flushing at the desire running through your veins.

You turn, scolding yourself for your reaction and get to work turning on the lights, camera and audio recorders.

"Still, I appreciate it. Will you be okay putting your mic on or would you like help?" You ask as you open the case, pulling out both sets of microphones.

"Hmm, might need some help"

You look over your shoulder and he's watching you intently, and you're really not sure how you're going to do this interview without coming across as desperate.

"Sure, here-" You step closer to him, holding out the microphone and wire, "This bit goes up under your shirt and clips onto your collar"

His fingers brush yours as he gently takes it from you, lifting his shirt slightly to feed the wire under it. You hold your breath and avert your eyes when you see a flash of pale skin before you do something stupid like telling him you'd like to lick him all over.

"Like this?" He asks, and you force yourself to bring your eyes down, nodding as he clips the little microphone to his shirt and smooths his hands down his chest.

"Yeah, um- I'll just clip this to your belt, if that's okay?"

He looks up at you from under his lashes and nods, smiling like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. You turn it on and see his jaw clenching in the corner of your eye as your fingers brush at his skin as you work.

"Alright. All set, I'll just finish getting ready - I'll just be a minute" You say in a rush, turning back to the table and putting your own mic on.

"No rush, honey"

And oh god, the pet name has your blood singing. Your hands shake slightly as you take a couple of deep breaths and scold yourself with a stern behave yourself, you're here for work not to hook up, he's doing you a favor so cut it out.

You shake your head slightly and move to turn on the camera. It's almost easier, looking at Eddie through the camera screen as you focus it and you suppress a shudder when you realize he's watching you closely.

You suck in a deep breath and pick up your notes, moving to sit beside him.

"Alright, you good to start?"

His smile returns and nods, shifting in his seat in order to face you. You do your intro, facing the camera and watching Eddie from your peripheral and then your turning, facing him and wanting to whine at how pretty he is. You let your work wash over you, focusing on the interview.

"Thanks for being here today, Mr. Munson. Tell me, how are you? What's been happening?"

"Eddie's fine" He says, laughing softly, "Mr. Munson is my uncle. I'm good, I'm good. Honestly? I should be working on some new songs but I'd rather not."

You nod, humming.

"Look that's fair - You used to play D&D, why?"

He looks a little surprised at your question, like he wasn't expecting anything else besides his music.

"Oh yeah I did. It was just fun, y'know? Like my friends and I got to go on epic adventures."

You try your hardest not to let the grin overtake your face but it's so, so hard.

"That's kinda nerdy but like what do I know? I make silly videos for a living. Do you still play or has that ship sailed?"

"Ah, I'd like to but I don't get as much free time these days and all my friends I play with are all over the place."

"Bummer. What's the best way to eat marshmallows?"

You keep the energy going, slinging more and more absurd questions at him without letting him gather his bearings but Eddie's grinning, enjoying the quick fire questions and your snide comments at his answers.

"Now. This is a serious question and I will judge you for your answer if it's incorrect."

He shifts, face serious and leans slightly towards you.

"Would you rather be eaten alive by a werewolf or have a vampire stick a straw in your neck and drain you like a capri-sun?"

Eddie breaks out into giggles and you feel your insides wobble and you school your features, biting your tongue and raise an eyebrow.

"Definitely being eaten alive" He wheezes between his laughter, "I might as well go all out if I'm gonna die."

You purse your slips, looking down at your notes primly.

"Correct."

Eddie laughs harder, eyes shining when you look back at him.

"Alright, last question - what's the plan for the rest of the day?"

He rubs the back of his neck, he looks at you and you think maybe there's something in his face, in his eyes as he glances at you.

"No real plans, might grab something to eat."

"Right on, free as a bird."

You close the video and slide out of your chair, turning off the camera and beginning the pack up. Your eyes flicker to Eddie and you smile softly, moving to him to help remove his mic.

"Thanks again for this, Eddie. I know you don't really do interviews much so I didn't want to make it awful for you"

His fingers find the soft skin of your wrist when he hands you the mic set, pressing against your skin.

"I had a lot of fun" His voice is low and rumbles and you feel your chest erupts with butterflies.

You shuffle back, throwing a smile over your shoulder and continue to pack away your equipment.

"Want a hand?" Eddie's says, right behind you and you can feel his warmth seeping into your back. You bite your lip.

"Nah, it's all good! It's not that much" You try to keep the tremble out of your voice, "I'll um, let you know when the video's up? It should be maybe a week or so."

You hear him inhale and then hum softly.

"Perfect."

You step around the table, putting a bit of distance between the two of you before you do something really really dumb and proposition him. Eddie shoots you a small smile, fiddling with his rings and you think he might be nervous.

"I'll, um, see you around then?" He asks, taking small steps backwards towards the door.

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you" You try to smile warmly as you say your goodbyes while all you'd like is to beg him to stay longer.

"You too, honey. I've heard a lot about you."

And then he's gone and you throw yourself down on one of the chairs, face in hands and you let out a whine.

"God damn it, Robin" You mutter before huffing and dragging yourself to load your car.

You're tired and sore when you finish unloading the car back at your apartment and you grunt as you throw yourself onto the couch, propping your feet on your coffee table.

Your phone buzzes.

Unknown Number: Hey honey, it's Eddie. I hope it's okay but I got your number from Robin.

Unknown Number: I just. I really had a good time today. I usually hate doing interviews but you made it a lot of fun.

You save his number and quickly respond, heart in your throat and fluttering in your stomach, hating how much you wanted his attention.

to Eddie: Eddie, hey! Yeah that's fine. I'm glad you had a nice time :)

Eddie: Very much so. Did you get everything packed and get home alright?

You start chewing on your lower lip as he responds almost instantly, not wanting to seem overly eager, you send a text to Robin instead.

to Robin: ROBIN what the FUCK????

Robin: ur welcome :)) he thinks ur hot btw and like ur both my friends so dont fuck it up.

to Robin: thanks!!!!! no pressure at all with that!!!!!!!!

Robin: :)

You start chewing on your thumbnail and open Eddie's messages again, responding with an affirmative and asking how his afternoon went before tossing your phone to the other side of the couch, kicking your feet.

You feel like a teenager, heart pounding and cheeks hot and chest feeling three sizes too big. You wander around your living room, shaking your hands and deciding to just go about your evening routine - making dinner and showering and watching a movie.

Your eyes drift to your phone every few minutes and you groan, giving in and picking it up.

Eddie: I ended up going straight home, been watching some of your interviews ;)

Eddie: What are you up to? Busy night?

to Eddie: Oh god, don't do that. They're all very boring.

Eddie: Ah but I get to watch a pretty lady tearing apart a bunch of dummies who don't realize they're being insulted.

Your face heats again and you place your face in your hands and let out a very embarrassing noise. You lift you head, staring at your phone and take a rough, deep breath. Eddie was going to kill you, you were sure of it.

You feel like a silly teen with a crush as you text with Eddie for the rest of the evening, his flirting making you want to screech out loud or melt or something.

You fall asleep with a smile on your face and butterflies in your stomach.

You're a little scared to check your phone the next morning, a whole bunch of what if's running through your mind, but a soft ding brings you out of your mind and you couldn't stop the lovesick smile if you tried.

Eddie: good morning, hope you have a good day

to Eddie: you too :)

You spend the rest of the day trying to focus on work, on finishing the editing of your previous interviews and starting on Eddies, but it's hard going when all you want to do is text the man. Taking a quick break, you lean over the bathroom sink and stare at yourself in the mirror. You frown at your reflection.

"Get your shit together" You snap at yourself, "You're not a teenager with a crush, you are a grown woman so act like it."

You sigh and pull yourself away, sitting back down at your desk.

"Alright. We've just got to finish these two interviews, we can totally do this. Totally, they're like ninety percent done already."

You nod at your pep talk and get back to work, newly found focus coasting you through the last few hours of editing for the day.

It's starting to grow dark by the time you save your work and shut down for the day. You feel lazily satisfied from finishing the task you set for yourself for the afternoon and more than ready to publish the videos and transcripts onto your social media sites. Stretching your arms above your head, you let out a soft groan as your back pops.

Picking up your phone, you bite your lip at the messages Eddie had sent you throughout the day.

Eddie: dont work too hard today but kick ass at work today

Eddie: im attempting to write new songs but i dont wanna y'know?

Eddie: i went to get groceries instead. saw a cat :)

Eddie: dont forget to eat lunch

Eddie: ok ok im gonna try to work wish me luck lol

Your stomach growls at you and you realize you did forget to eat lunch again, you groan and start dinner. Sitting on the couch with your plate, you send a message to Eddie.

to Eddie: Sorry, been pretty busy today but i managed to finish up a couple projects and im ready to start working on your interview tomorrow. Did you end up getting any writing done?

to Eddie: And what type of cat was it?

It doesn't take long before your phone is buzzing beside you.

Eddie: she lives! im glad you had a productive day, one of us needs 2 lol and u dont need to edit our interview its already perfect. I wrote like 4 lines of a song.

Eddie: i took a photo of the cat, i'll send it 2 u.

You laugh softly at his messages, his writing getting lazier the more you two talk, not that you mind. The photo comes through and you coo, the cat was incredibly fluffy and stretched out over a brick fence, fast asleep.

Your eyes burn as you look at your phone, a result from staring at a computer screen all day, so you take a deep breath and press call.

"Hey honey!" Eddie's voice filters softly through your phone, "Didn't expect a call to be honest, it was the cat right?"

You laugh and let your eyes slip closed, laying down on the couch and placing the call on speaker phone.

"Absolutely," You hum, "It has nothing to do with my eyes hurting-"

"Aw, you okay? Need anything?"

You can hear the concern in his voice and something inside you swells.

"Nah, I'm good. It's just from being on the computer all day, y'know?" You rub your eyes, "Anyway, what are you up to?"

There's a slight pause before he answers but then he's telling you that he's trying to decide on dinner, weighing up pros and cons of cooking verses ordering in and then he's launching into a tangent on life skills and capitalism.

You let his voice wash over you and you find yourself relaxing until you're almost asleep, drifting in the in-between.

"Still with me baby?" Eddie asks softly, his words not really registering but you hum at the sound of his voice, making him chuckle quietly.

"Go to bed, honey." He croons at you, "We'll talk tomorrow, alright? Dream sweet."

You sleep on the couch that night, dreaming of soft curls and warm brown eyes.

The next week passes in a blur of work, texts, calls and longing. You want to see him again, want to have his deep honey eyes on you, want to hear his voice without the filter of a phone.

You whine about it to Robin a lot, much to her amusement and annoyance.

"Just tell him you like him" She says one night as you recount the latest texting session you and Eddie had the previous day.

"Dude! No! I can't just tell him that" You feel your heart starting to race at the idea, Robin snorts.

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"That's not an answer" She fires back and you groan.

"Because, what if he only wants to be my friend? What if he's like this with everyone? I don't want to make a fool of myself and just because he talks to me doesn't mean he likes me, and there's also the fact that he's like, famous!"

Your words come out in a panicked rush and you breathe heavily while Robin contemplates.

"Y'know, I've been his friend for a while. I don't think I've ever seen him like this about someone, he really does like you. A lot. It's kinda gross."

Her voice is soft and kind and you feel your cheeks heat at her words.

"I don't know what you did to him at the interview but he's like, super gone for you. Pretty sure he's panicking about the same things you are, hun. Trust me when I say that Eddie's not the type of person who'd string you around like that."

"Alright, okay" You sigh, feeling better with her reassurance.

You sit on her advice for a few days, weighing up your decision, when ultimately, Eddie makes it for you.

to Eddie: Eds, I'm posting the interview video and transcripts today. Want me to tag the band's @?

Eddie: Yes, please! You're incredible.

Eddie: Would you like to go out with me? Dinner tonight?

Your heart leaps into your throat and you can't stop the childish giggles as you respond with an enthusiastic yes, yes please I would like that very much.

You don't remember doing much work, too excited about that night to focus properly but you do manage to get the video and transcript online, making sure to tag the band's socials as well as Eddies.

to Eddie: Alright, it's up. What's the dress code for tonight?

Eddie: I just saw and casual, whatever you're comfy in :)

Eddie: What's your address? I'll pick you up at 6?

You give him your address and start getting ready, wanting to look good but not wanting to look like you're trying. A very hard line to walk but you were determined to do so.

A few minutes before six, the doorbell rings and your stomach fills with butterflies. Opening the door for Eddie, your heart stops inside your chest.

He's got his hair tied up in a bun at the back of his head, a few loose curls framing his face. Black jeans and combat boots with chains hanging from the belt, and a faded, well-worn Dio shirt.

His entire face lights up when he sees you, a beaming smile gracing his lips and you're almost ready to fall to your knees and begin proclaiming your everlasting love and devotion to him.

"You look beautiful" He says in lieu of a greeting, eyes roaming your body. You bite your lip softly and his eyes darken, tracing your movement.

"Thanks" You feel almost shy, "Should we go?"

He holds his arm out for you to take and you laugh softly, pulling your door shut behind you and slipping your hand into the crook of his elbow.

He leads you to his car, opening the door for you and closing it after you. Sliding into the drivers seat, his fingers drum against the wheel as he starts the car.

"Where are you takin' me tonight?" You ask softly, turning to look at him as he drives.

"We, my dear, are going to the park"

He glances at you as he says it, the tips of his ears going pink when he realizes you're already watching him.

"The park?" You ask, surprise colouring your voice, "Thought you were taking me out to dinner."

He laughs softy and you feel like you've just won a competition, a prize.

"We're havin' dinner at the park" He beams, "I was going to take you to a restaurant but Steve said not to do that and Robin said you'd like something more personal anyway."

You honestly feel as if you could float, you scrunch your nose at the feeling.

"You talk about me to your friends, huh?" You settle for teasing, enjoying the way Eddie's ears and cheeks bloom with a blush.

"Of course I do" He admits, "I really like you"

You feel your own face heat at his admission and you inhale sharply.

“I- um. I like you, too” You stumble over your words, face flaming and chest tight.

You steadfastly look out the windscreen and miss the look Eddie throws you, like you just handed him the moon. You bite your lip when you feel fingers brush against the side of your hand and shudder when you shift, letting your fingers spread and tangle with his, your palms pressed together.

“I’m glad” He murmurs, giving your hand a soft squeeze before he huffs a laugh, “Would’a made all this kinda awkward if you didn’t.”

You glance over at him and he’s already looking at you, warm smile on his face. He winks, focuses back on the road and lets go of your hand to turn. It doesn’t take much longer for the car to slow to a stop, a comfortable silence settling over you both.

Eddie’s a whirlwind as he rushes out of the car, tripping over his feet as he races to your door before you’ve even finished undoing your seat belt. Laughter bubbles up your throat and you’re chuckling by the time he’s pulling open the door, his cheeks blushing sweetly and eyes warm.

“You’re a dork” You laugh, taking his hand as he holds it out for you, he just smiles wider.

“Y’know, I have been told that” He murmurs as he pulls you closer to him, your breath hitches, “Now. Stand there and look pretty for me while I get our picnic ready.”

You bite your lip and lean against the hood of the car, watching him as he takes out a cooler, basket, blankets and pillows out of the car and rushing back and forth to a nearby tree. It’s tall and old and he sets up the picnic between gnarled roots. Once it’s laid out to his satisfaction he moves to stand in front of you, his fingers reach out and brush against your forearm.

“Good to go?” You ask, voice barely a whisper. He nods, eyes flicking over your face and he gently takes your hand in his, leading you to the blanket.

It’s kind of perfect, honestly. Too many pillows and blankets and Eddie’s brought so much food and there’s soft drinks (I didn’t know what kind you like and I didn’t want to bring booze because I’m driving and like I didn’t want you to think - Eddie breathe).

It’s a lot perfect.

You ask each other questions, you learn anything you can (his favourite colour is, surprisingly, lavender - “it was my mom’s, she used to have this knitted cardigan with little lavender flowers all over it.”)

You talk and talk and talk and the sun slips past the horizon and washes you both in soft golden oranges and reds. You shift closer to Eddie as the night air begins to cool your skin, Eddie notices your shiver because of course he does - he wraps one of the many blankets around your shoulders, presses his body against your side.

"Eddie?" You murmur, resting your cheek onto his shoulder, the soft fabric of his shirt rubs against your cheek.

"Yeah, honey?" He's just as quiet as you, nose brushing along your hairline. Something inside you shudders and trembles before settling into a soft glowing warmth.

"Thank you" Your face turns, forehead pressing against his cheek, "This has been easily the best date I've been on."

He cups your cheek and raises your face to his, your noses brush and he holds you against him.

"Baby, I'm the one who should be thanking you," His voice is rough and sincere, his eyes boring into yours, "For even giving me a chance. For letting me text you all day, every day. For making our interview so fun."

Baby, baby, baby, the word rattles around in your brain and you think you could cry. You're not sure how you've ended up here but you are and you are so, so grateful.

"Remind me to thank Robin for suggesting I interview you." Your words brush against his lips and you're leaning in, pressing your lips against his.

Eddie doesn't hesitate, kissing you back softly, sweetly. It's perfect. The date, the kiss, him. You kiss and kiss and kiss. He keeps it soft and sweet, innocent almost, and you want and want.

You sit together, wrapped up in each other and blankets, trading little kisses until your eyes begin to droop and you're yawning more than you are kissing Eddie. He rubs his palms up and down your arms.

"C'mon, I'll take you home, sweetheart."

You let him help you up, let him guide you to the car, let him assist you into your seat. You watch as he quickly packs up the picnic and loads the car.

You watch, head turned to rest against the seat as he starts the car. You watch as his gaze drifts from the road to you every few minutes and watch his hands as they hold the wheel and you watch as he parks the car in front of your building.

He turns and watches you, watching him.

"You're really sweet, Eddie." You say softly, limbs tingling as his lips curl softly at your words, your smile turns into something more teasing, "Knew you were hot shit but sweet too? Talk about a whole package here."

Eddie's cheeks are bright red and he's pressing his lips together tightly, he shakes his head fondly.

"Bed time for you, I think," and then he's walking you to your door, warm hands holding your face and a kiss being pressed against your lips, "Goodnight baby, dream sweet."

You murmur a soft goodnight, get home safe, please let me know when you're home safe, and then you're in bed, clutching your phone and waiting for that I'm home text.

You fall asleep between one breath and the next.

You don't get to see Eddie for a while after that, but you speak everyday - all day if you can. Good morning texts and random anecdotes about your days, soft words and sweeter wishes, I miss yous and goodnights.

You're swamped with work, fielding emails because apparently you're super popular now - Eddie's video went viral and now everyone's trying to book you for interviews and the comments on every one of your social media's. It's exhausting, honestly.

You call Eddie to complain, and he coos at you, teasing you and taking your mind off the sudden explosion of work.

"That's not nice, you're mean," You pout, phone pressed against your cheek, heart fluttering at Eddie's smooth laughter.

"Thought I was sweet, baby" He teases, recalling your sleepy words on your date. You can picture his wide smile as he teases you, and you just want.

"Are you busy?" You ask on a sigh, expecting the answer to be yes - Eddie's been telling you that he's on a roll with new songs and music, said he's been inspired. "Wanna see you, like, a lot. I know it's only been a couple weeks but-"

"For you? I'm free as a bird" He sounds like an absolute angel, "Want me to come over?"

And, well. That sounds perfect.

"Please. I'll cook us dinner, if you like."

"Heaven sent, you." Eddie groans, softly. "I'll be there in like twenty minutes, baby."

It feels more like five before you're letting him into your apartment. You've barely got the door shut before his arms are wrapped around you, pulling you close to his chest and holding you.

"Missed you too, baby." Eddie says into your hair, arms squeezing you softly.

You go boneless against him, stress melting away in the safe circle of Eddie's arms. Eddie presses quick kisses to your hair, forehead, temples, wherever he can reach without pulling away.

You lean back, press your lips against his and you loose yourself in the sensation of being held close and kissed by Eddie Munson.

It's nothing like the sweet kisses you shared during your date. It's a little more. More intense, more burning and has you feeling weak in the knees.

Eddie's tongue brushes against your lower lip, and your insides light up like fireworks. Your lips part on a sigh and Eddie dips his tongue inside your mouth teasingly before he pulls away. Pecking you softly and smiling at you.

"Hey"

"Hey, gorgeous girl." His eyes go soft, warm, "No stressin' about work, alright?"

You nod, step back, tug at his hand, lead him to your couch and pull him down with you. You curl into him and Eddie wraps his arms around you again.

A kiss is pressed to the top of your head.

"What do you feel like for dinner?" You ask, cheek pressed firmly against his chest. Your stomach flutters at the feel of solid muscle beneath your skin, the warmth of him, the steady rise of his breathing, the beat of his heart.

His grip on you tightens and he's pulling you down as he lays, forcing you between him and the back of the couch. One of his hands grips your waist tight and the other is gently cradling your head to his chest.

"Anything. You could make me burnt toast and I'd be the happiest person alive," You snort and he tilts your face up slightly, "I'm serious. You're amazing, you really are. And I'm not just saying that because I like you so much, well, I mean, I guess I kinda am but you know what I mean. You're so, so smart, and funny and talented and passionate and caring, charming and so beautiful."

You're shifting so you're hovering over him slightly, face inches away from his as he talks. You've never been one to associate those things about yourself but as Eddie says it, you think you believe it. Your chest feels like it's going to burst and you slide your hand up from his side, resting against his own racing heart while he continues,

"Like, I was so gone for you even before we met. Is that weird? That's weird but I would see the photos Robin would take of you when the two of you hung out and like, sure I thought you were the prettiest person I've ever seen but then she would start telling us stories about you and oh man, you were my dream girl. Absolutely. And then Robin's calling me, asking me to do you a favor? I said yes so fast she laughed at me and hung up."

You're grinning now as he talks, it's a little embarrassing but you feel happy, adored.

"And then, then I was there with you and you were even prettier in person and so goddamn funny? My heart just about gave out and -"

You cut him off by kissing him.

You both melt into it. Eddie's fingers tangling into your hair, keeping you close. You press against his chest and slide your body over his, covering him completely as you slowly run out of air. You pull away, take a deep breath and press right back in. Eddie makes a small sound at the back of his throat and the hand that's not holding your head, slides down to the small of your back, pressing and keeping you firmly against him, like you'd want to be anywhere else.

The kiss quickly heats, gets messier, desire and fire and something a whole lot like love thrum through your veins and you want and need.

You shift slightly, rocking your hips gently down and oh, oh.

Eddie groans, his hand splayed over your lower back moves, grips your ass and pulls you down to him. He rocks against you and you feel him getting hard beneath you and you're moving. Slipping off him, getting to your feet as you fist at his shirt, tugging him up with you and then you're both stumbling to your room while trying to not break the kiss and feel as much of each other as you can.

Your arm slams into the door frame and your whine is lost in Eddie's lips, his hand gently rubs at your shoulder to soothe, and then you're on your bed, Eddie on top of you and pressing you into the mattress. His hair falls around your face, curtaining you both from the outside world and making you feel like there's no one else - time slows and stops and then its you and Eddie, the last two people on the planet.

His lips travel, moving from yours and down your jaw, your neck. He leans over and presses a few quick kisses to your shoulder where you banged it before he's at your throat again, doing his best to cover you in his marks, whether it's from his lips or teeth.

You hold him close and squirm, breathing heavy through parted, kiss swollen lips. His hand slips under your shirt, fingertips gently brushing along your side and coming to rest at your waist. You whine out his name and struggle to free your legs from under him, Eddie lifts slightly and you quickly wrap your legs around his hips, locking you together.

"Eds" You breathe out as he nips at your neck, he trembles and stops, lifting his head and looking at you like you were responsible for lighting the sun and hanging the stars in the sky.

"Eds," You sigh, fingers caressing his face, "Want you."

You see his expression shudder with desire and he surges up, kissing you.

"You've got me," He says, voice rough and deep, "You got me. Wanna make you feel good, baby, can I?"

You nod and press a soft yes Eddie, yes into his lips and then you're both pulling at clothes. Slowly revealing yourselves to each other, it's slow and lazy as you both touch and look your fill with each new bit of skin shown.

Desire is under your skin, but it's simmering, a slow burn that lets you focus on sharing yourself with Eddie rather than a desperate need to be filled.

He kisses and mouths at every inch of your skin, hands touching and caressing anywhere and everywhere. You've never felt so wanted as you do right now with Eddie pressing kisses along your chest and down your torso, with his hands gently keeping you from falling apart.

He kisses his way down until he's reached the waistband of your pants, eyes flicking up to yours. You hold his face, smile, give a small nod, watch as Eddie's eyes slip closed and he presses his lips to your fingertips, you burn.

Eddie slowly shimmies you out of your pants, then his own, and you're both naked together. He sighs quietly as he kneels in between your legs, fingers skating up your calf and thigh. His eyes are darting around like he's trying to drink you in and keep you, how you are right now, burned in his memory.

You do the same.

He's lean, pale skin stretched over wiry muscles. Years of lugging heavy equipment has toned his arms, shoulders, chest. You trace one of his tattoos on his thigh, the closest you can reach without moving - there's so many more than you thought and you want to catalogue every single one, with your fingers and lips and eyes.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers.

The moment feels delicate, gentle, and loud words don't feel right. You wrap your fingers around his wrist, gently pull.

"Eddie"

You're just as quiet, his name leaving your lips on a soft breath. He leans down and softly kisses you before he's moving again, settling down between your legs and your legs shake as you feel the first press of his lips against you.

He's slow about it, running his tongue along your folds like he's got nowhere else to be. It's gentle and soft and has you quaking. You bury your fingers in his hair and Eddie's gripping your thighs, bringing you impossibly closer. He moans so quietly you would have missed it if it weren't for the vibration shooting through you and stoking the fire building under your skin.

"Eddie," You moan, tugging on his hair, "Eddie"

You chance a look at him, and your eyes almost roll back at the sight. He looks blissed out, eyes almost closed and face slack as he eats you out like you're the best damn thing he's ever tasted.

It doesn't escape your notice that he's rocking his hips down, grinding onto the mattress, and that's oh, oh that's enough.

You yank hard enough on his hair that he pulls away, his lips swollen and red, his chin and jaw covered in your slick. You twist and reach for your bedside drawer, praying you didn't forget to replace your expired condoms. You almost cheer out loud when your fingers brush one.

You kiss him as you tear it open, fingers finding Eddie's cock and rolling it on, he whines as you touch him.

Eddie guides you into laying back on the bed, settling between your legs. He's covering you completely, arms and hair surrounding you and caging you in, and he looks at you, eyes finding yours.

"Eddie"

He brushes his nose along yours. His lips gently caress your skin. He hums, and soft words are breathed into your cheek - I've got you baby, you're perfect, so perfect.

Then he's pressing inside you.

He moves slowly as he fills you, trembling moans falling from both your lips. Your eyes burn, tears stinging and you struggle to breathe. You've never felt so full, so wanted, so complete.

"Shh, darling"

He rolls his hips against yours and you cling to him, fingers digging into his arms and back.

"Eddie"

He whispers your name and begins to gently thrust into you. It's heaven. It's rapture. You've never felt so connected to another and you're sure you're seeing your death, your life. Time slips away, it's just you and him, him and you, together.

Eddie keeps the pace slow, gentle, it makes you feel wanted and adored. Desired. You rock your hips up in time with him and he groans, presses his forehead against yours.

"Baby, baby. Look at me."

He's pleading, almost begging you. Your fingers grip him tightly and put your eyes open, find his. Something ignites and you feel yourself hurtling towards your climax.

"With me," Eddie moans, hips rolling faster, "Baby. Baby. With me."

"Yeah, yeah. Eddie."

Your fingers dig harder into his back and you tremble, keeping your eyes locked on his. Fireworks explode in your nerves and you're shaking apart, whining loudly as you drown in bliss.

Eddie's hips stutter and he groans until he's stilling, panting and boneless. He's still buried inside you and he settles his weight a little more firmly on you as you share oxygen, pressed so close that you can't be sure you haven't become one - melded together and fused.

You don't burn it, but you end up having toast for dinner.

[sonickinniestuff]

been on a bit of a sitcom kick recently and more than EVER i need a sonic sitcom in my life. its 6 am and i havent slept so this is just gonna be me infodumping abt a fun concept i think abt from time to time. cool? cool. shadow visiting amy and accidentally knocking over and shattering a vase at her house, vowing to do whatever she wants to pay for it. she doesn't care much so she has him spend a day doing favors for big instead, as she doesn't see him spending much time with anyone else in the gang. shadow grumpily wearing a "men want me fish fear me" hat fishing with big until he realizes that he genuinely adores taking it easy and the meditative trance it puts him in watching the sunlight dance on the water. b plot of sonic holding on to the back of metal sonic flying away after thwarting another one of eggman's plans and he just. falls into the water and shadow fishes him out with greater finesse and skill than big has EVER seen someone fish with. shadow is super embarrassed abt it and sonic teases him about it every chance he gets, always emphasizing that he did it to save him. the chaotix have a slow month at the detective agency and DESPERATELY need cash so they change gears to journalism to make ends meet. cue the worst vertical phone footage you've ever seen of the trio bugging knuckles to DEATH on angel island about the master emerald and it's powers and knuckles trying his absolute best to not throw them off head first for trying to make fast vapid content about something so important to him. once they realize they've upset him they pivot the footage into a really spottily edited documentary about knuckles' dedication to his title, and the episode ends with knuckles asking tails if there's a way to put an entire video on his fridge.

sonic and tails hear blaze is visiting from her dimension so they spend every second of the next few hours trying to spruce the place up, only for eggman to show up with a pack of badniks just to mess with them. desperate to end things quickly and keep all their hard work in tact, sonic charges at the badniks to clear them out with as little of a ruckus as possible. since he was so headstrong about dispatching them without considering the method, broken bot parts and debris end up all over the garage. blaze shows up just as the last metal sheet slides across the floor against her shoe and you can watch her own attempt at formality falter as she laughs so hard she falls over, and tails just stands there with his face buried in his hands. do u see it do u see my vision

[tyuninthemirror]

— valentine: k.th

— pairing: rival!taehyun x fem!reader — genre: fluff — word count: 3166 — disclaimers: university au, one-sided rivalry. mentions of food. — synopsis: all taehyun wanted was for you to give him a chance. — series masterlist

— author's note: for a tumblr that has taehyun as its muse, took me quite a while to get to him. >:( i hope you all like one, i really appreciate all the feedback and support on my last few fics ♥ (edited 8/25)

You've always envied Kang Taehyun. Since middle school, he's always been praised for doing well in school and community activities without trying while you had to work twice as hard to keep up. He was so naturally talented at everything that to say you were jealous would be an understatement; it made your blood boil.

Since middle school, you've considered him your rival, but he didn't care and let you continue your one-sided rivalry until the last semester of your senior year. You remember throwing a fit in the teacher's room when Taehyun was chosen instead of you to give the speech at your graduation.

Taehyun finally confronted you about your behavior after learning about it from your teachers.

"Why do you hate me that much? I can't change anything about myself," He bluntly said, staring directly into your eyes, "It's senseless to be resentful and bitter about something I can't control."

His bluntness caught you off guard, and you were at a loss for words. From then on, you stayed away from him.

Even after graduating and ending up in the same college, you avoided him at all costs. You were shocked to find out that you had a few classes with him, but you decided to act like you didn't know him.

One day, near the end of the semester, as you and Taehyun sit in your media arts class, Ms. Park gives out the last task of the semester. She explains to the class that the project is to make or remake a music video with a partner using the song of the pair's choice and that it would count toward your final grade.

Your heart is pounding as Ms. Park goes into further detail. She reminds everyone that she has covered all the necessary material for making a good video over the semester.

You called, raising your hand, "Um, Ms. Park?" "What if we can't think of anything to put in the video?"

"Y/N, this is when your imagination comes into play," Ms. Park replied, smiling comfortingly, "Use what you've learned and create something that symbolizes you and your partner.

"Hey, Y/N, you're okay with Lily and I pairing up, right?" Jake, one of your friends, asked you. "But if you want to pair up with her, that's fine too!"

You shrug and say, "Don't worry about it." When Lily gave you that puppy-eyed expression, you knew she had a crush on Jake and naturally wanted to be paired with him.

When the bell rings to announce the end of class, Ms. Park dismisses the group, urging everyone to put their all into their projects and enjoy themselves. Knowing they barely had five minutes to get to their next class while you had more time to spare, Jake and Lily wave you off quickly.

Before you can step outside the classroom, someone grabs your arm from behind. You turn around and see Jay, one of the school jocks, in your way. You had a bad feeling about this because you heard from one of your classmates that Jay was known for getting others to do his work for him.

"Hey, Y/N," he says to you with a sly grin. "I heard you need a partner for the final project. Well, guess what? You're looking at him."

"Thanks, Jay, but no. I'll find someone else," you told him as you rolled your eyes and tried to pull your arm away from him.

"What, you don't think I'm good enough?" He scowled, his smirk becoming a sneer.

"It's not that," you try to say calmly. "I just don't think we'd get along."

"Listen, Y/N," Jay stepped closer, his face inches from yours. "You don't get to choose who your partner is. I'm telling you right now, you're going to be my partner, whether you like it or not."

As you take a step back, your heart rate quickens. "I said no, Jay. Now get out of my way, please."

Jay pushes you as his face darkens. You take a bad step backward and fly down the flight of steps. You close your eyes and prepare for impact when suddenly, a firm hand grabs your waist and pulls you back up.

When you open your eyes, you are met with the sight of Taehyun, who had been listening in on your talk with Jay. He glares at Jay and asks, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I didn't mean to-" Jay started, stepping back and looking a little scared.

"You didn't mean to do what?" Taehyun cuts him off. "Push her down the stairs? You moron, you could have seriously injured her.

Jay fumbles an apology and rushes away without pausing to look back at you two.

"Are you alright?" Taehyun asked as he turned to face you, and his gaze softened. You nod in answer, still shocked by what just happened.

"Kang Taehyun," you breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I owe you one.

"What do you mean? Owe me a favor?" he questioned. You turn to face him as you are startled by his question.

"Sure," you say. You pause for a second, unsure whether your hesitation was caused by the fact that you were still somewhat rattled up from the situation with Jay or by the fact that you and Taehyun were speaking normally for the first time in a long time.

"You can repay me by being my partner on the final project," Taehyun tells you. "What do you say?"

"Well, what did you say?!" Lily shrieked. You met up with your friends after class, updating them on your rather eventful day.

"I said yes," you sighed, closing your eyes and leaning back on the library chair. "Better Kang Taehyun than Jay."

"True," Jake muttered in agreement. "Why do you hate Kang Taehyun again? He's pretty nice. He helped me with my essay once."

You groaned, sinking deeper into your chair. You told Lily and Jake this story when you started college, but you couldn't say it now. Was it because he kinda saved your life? For the trouble and ruckus you've caused in his life, you never would've expected him to save you.

"I give up," you muttered, a scowl on your face. The next day, after you gave Mrs. Park your names, she gave the class the whole period to decide and discuss what each pair wanted to do for the project.

After barely talking to each other, you and Taehyun chose to make two different lists and find a match, only to find out that you both like completely different types of music.

"Kang Taehyun, how the hell are we going to make a music video for SHINEE's Ring Ding Dong?" you asked as you shoved his paper back at him.

"We could dance," he said, shrugging as if it was the most obvious answer.

"No."

Taehyun was about done with you after another fifteen minutes of you rejecting all of his ideas.

"Y/N, do you really dislike all of the songs I chose, or is it because I suggested them?" Taehyun asked, clearly tired of your tone.

"A bit of both," you agreed. Hey, there's no shame in being honest. He chose you to be his partner.

"If I choose a song I know you'll like, do you promise not to shut it down?" he asked. You sit up at his words, wondering what song he would mention. You nodded once but kept your fingers crossed in case he suggested something terrible.

"Some by Soyou and Junggio."

"So? What's the big deal?" Lily asked as she did your nails. On Thursdays, Jake has baseball practice which allows you and Lily to have your girl time at your dorm.

"I sang that song with a senior I had a crush on in high school," you explain to her, thinking back at the time you spent alone time practicing with Chenle to perform at the opening of the school fair. "Brings back memories, that's all."

"So you guys have all your filming schedules set?"

"Yeah, he said to shoot at five locations, but I said I'd only meet thrice. We're meeting this Sunday to do the first take," you answer her, checking out the hand she had just finished coating. "He suggested we feature in the video ourselves to save time and that he would do all the scene planning."

"Damn, Y/N," Lily grinned. "Taehyun is such a gentleman for giving in to your demands. Meanwhile, I have to sing and dance to Dynamite with Jake."

"Shut it, Morrow. I know you want to spend alone time with Jake."

On Sunday, you and Taehyun meet at the café he picked for the first scene. It was tucked away in a back alley near campus. You were impressed that Taehyun knew about a place like this, and you found yourself liking every aspect of it, from the cake display to the furnishings. He smiles and waves you to the chosen table when he sees you.

"Hey, Y/N! I'm glad you could make it," he says, standing up to meet you. Despite rolling your eyes in response, you can't help but be a little taken aback by his charming demeanor.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get this over with," you mumble as you sit down.

Taehyun laughs. "Come on. It'll be fun. I promise."

"I doubt that," you snorted in response.

He orders two coffees, and you set up the camera and other things. As you work, you laugh and joke with Taehyun when he makes too many mistakes. His face turns red with embarrassment when he admits he doesn't know how to use a professional camera.

The next time you looked out the window, the sky was a shade of orange, which meant the sun was setting. You both quickly realized you had been in the cafe for more than three hours when you looked at the clock on your phone.

Taehyun looks at his watch and frowns. "Whoa, it's getting late. Do you want me to walk you home?"

You're unsure what to do for a moment, and you feel a strange flutter in your chest. "Uh, sure. That'd be great."

As you walk down quiet streets, Taehyun talks about his favorite bands and movies. You find yourself opening up to him and telling him about your own interests and hobbies. Halfway through the conversation, you quickly remind yourself that you hate him and stop saying so much.

When you finally reach your door, Taehyun turns to you with a smile. "Thanks for the day, Y/N. I really enjoyed it."

You have a strange mix of feelings. On the one hand, you had to admit that you liked the day more than you thought you would. But on the other hand, you still couldn't get rid of the irritation you felt toward him.

"Yeah, it was… fine," you reply, trying to keep your tone neutral.

Taehyun's smile fades a little, but he nods. "Well, I'll see you in class then."

"Sure," you say before opening the door to your dormitory building.

You can't help but think about the day's events as you walk up the stairs. You expected to be bothered by Taehyun the whole time, but he made you laugh and have fun. And when he offered to walk you home, it felt like a date.

But you quickly tell yourself that you can't let yourself get too comfortable with Taehyun. You've spent years building up a wall of hate for him, and you can't just let that go because you worked with him for one day on a music video.

A few days later, you and Taehyun meet up at the arcade for the next scene of your class project music video.

You can't help but feel a little nervous as you wait for him to arrive. Even though you've been trying to stay away from him since you met on Sunday, you can't help but think about why Taehyun wanted to work with you on the project.

When Taehyun shows up, he waves and smiles at you. You swear your heart missed a beat.

"Hey, Y/N, you ready to shoot?" He asked with a small grin on his face.

You nod, trying to control the butterflies in your stomach. "Yeah, let's get started."

While Taehyun set up the camera and equipment, he suggests you play some of the arcade games to collect some footage for the video. At first, you're not sure, but he talks you into playing a few games with him.

You find yourselves laughing and having a good time while playing together. Taehyun is pretty good at some games but is not afraid to act silly and mess around with you. At one point, he accidentally bumps into you, and you both fall to the ground laughing. You look up at him and realize you don't hate him as much as you thought. He might even be a little bit likable.

You two continue to have a great time together throughout the day. You're still a little cautious around him but beginning to see him in an entirely new light. He's not the perfect robot you once saw him as, but a real person with feelings and flaws. And he is nice to be around.

When you're done with the last scene of the video, Taehyun smiles and turns to you. "Thank you, Y/N, for today. I had a great time today, too."

You smile back, and your chest feels warm. "Yeah, me too. And I'm sorry I'm always so rude to you."

His smile gets bigger. "It's okay. I understand why you didn't like me before. But I'm glad we could learn more about each other."

You nod, feeling a bit awkward. "Yeah, me too."

You can't help but feel like you just went on another date with him as you left the arcade together.

Halfway down the street, Taehyun tells you he has to meet someone at the cafe you just walked by. As you walk back to campus, you say goodbye. For the first time, you're a little sad that you have to part ways, and you're not sure if you want to keep up the wall of dislike between you two.

"Taehyun! Over here!" Taehyun smiles and runs to the table where Huening Kai was sitting.

"Did I just see you walking by with L/N Y/N? " Kai asked, shock painted all over his face when Taehyun responded with a nod. "Did she get amnesia…? Doesn't she hate your guts?"

"Yeah, I'm working on that," Taehyun chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

"Dude, don't tell me you still have a crush on her?" Huening Kai asked, laughing when Taehyun's face turned pink. "Hilarious, you know she's hated you for as long as you've liked her. Crazy how you both ended up in the same college too. Maybe that's what they call fate."

"Fate, huh?"

You and Taehyun stood on the rooftop, overlooking the bustling campus below. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the two of you as you sat on a blanket laid out on the ground. Taehyun had prepared an afternoon picnic for your final scene, complete with sandwiches, fruit, and a bottle of sparkling wine.

He had suggested that for the last scene, you'd film a time-lapse of you two sitting side by side and the sun setting in the background.

You couldn't help but feel conflicted as you looked at Taehyun. You had always disliked him, but as you worked together on your project, you realized that maybe you had been too immature to try even to get to know him. Taehyun was kind, funny, and incredibly talented but never tried to rub it in or show off. You found yourself drawn to him, even though you weren't sure if you were ready to admit it yet.

As you chatted and ate, Taehyun suddenly said, "You know, Y/N, this is my dream date."

"What? A picnic on a rooftop? That's your dream date?" you looked at him incredulously.

"Yeah, it might sound simple, but it's the little things that matter, you know? Just spending time with someone you care about, enjoying good food and great company," Taehyun explained, leaning back with his arms supporting his weight, the sun giving him an orange glow as he looked at you. "That's all I've ever really wanted."

You felt a flutter in your chest as you listened to him. You had never considered Taehyun a romantic before. You clenched your fists as you realized how the last three meetings with Taehyun had made you feel.

"Taehyun, can you please stop leading me on?" you blurted out suddenly. "I don't know if you're just being friendly or if you actually like me because of all these places you've set up, but I can't keep pretending like I don't feel anything for you."

Taehyun's expression softened. "Y/N, I'm sorry if I've been unclear. I didn't want to push you or make you feel uncomfortable. But the truth is, I've had feelings for you for a long time now. I just didn't know how to tell you."

Your heart skipped a beat as you heard his words. Could it be that Taehyun felt the same way you did?

"I'm glad we got to work on this project together," Taehyun continued. "It gave me a chance to show you who I really am, and I'm grateful for that. But Y/N, I'm not just doing this to change your opinion of me. I genuinely care about you and want to be with you."

"You liked me?"

"Yeah," Taehyun shyly chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as he continued talking. "I think it was that time in middle school you helped Chani redo his homework that had fallen into the school fountain. I must sound creepy, huh?"

Your eyes welled up with tears as you looked at Taehyun. You had never expected this, but now that it was happening, you felt a huge weight on your shoulders. How could you have been so unkind to someone who felt this way about you for so long?

"Why are you crying?" Taehyun asked in a panic, sitting up to look for a napkin. Did he say something that upset you?

"I-I'm sorry for everything," you apologized as tears rolled down your cheeks. "I've been so unfair towards you, and you've been so patient and kind with me."

"There's no point dwelling in the past, Y/N," Taehyun comforted. "I don't hold anything against you."

"Taehyun, I promise to do better to make it up to you," you said softly. "I don't know where this will go, but I'm willing to find out. Thank you for being patient with me."

Taehyun's face lit up with a smile as he leaned in to kiss you. The sun had set completely, but for you and Taehyun, the world was beginning to light up.

[sidhewrites]

Chapter 11! We got hot plot! I am so keenly aware that this is a first draft and going to be edited so heavily once it's all on the page! One of the major notes I Have for myself consistently is to make Kaz more active in causing the plot to happen overall. Right now she seems to be a bit more of a pinball protag, so I'm going to have to do a lot of fixing in later drafts.

I also realize I'm seriously lacking tertiary/background characters? Kaz and Josie need friends lol. Now taking suggestions for other weird gay college kids that live in generic college town usa

Project Info

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

For the record, this is every bit as always as we both thought it would be. Josie and I sit at a very deliberate distance from each other on one of the brightly colored benches in the university’s student lounge. It’s a thoroughly modern building with glass walls and a wealth of amenities, but there aren’t many students to be found on a Friday afternoon, likely preferring to spend the start of their weekend having fun, or at least away from school. 

As a peace offering, I get us both cans of coffee from a vending machine, and hold one out for her as I flop down onto the bench across from her. 

“Do you drink anything other than coffee?” She asks, but takes the can anyway. Her fingers brush against mine, and we both freeze for a moment. 

I employ my usual method of smoothing out an awkward moment by saying something very smart and witty: “Sure. Sometimes I drink pure espresso like it’s a vodka shot.” 

For the record, I’ve only ever did that three times in my life, and every single time I told myself I’d never do it again. 

I push myself as far away from her on the small bench as possible while she sets up her laptop on the table in front of us, carefully avoiding looking at me. 

Half of me wants to call the whole thing off. I say I have to be somewhere else that I forgot about until just now, or just say fuck it and outright apologize for agreeing to meet in the first place. But the other, louder half of me is determined to be civil and polite and prove that we can get through a single half hour video like adults. 

I am keenly aware of the space my body takes up as she pulls up the Haunted Archivist’s website. My fingers grip the cold aluminum of the coffee can, my feet sweat in the socks I’ve worn all day and the work boots I wear everywhere. The sports jersey I’m wearing rubs against my skin, and I try to focus on that instead of the way Josie’s choker bobs with her throat when she swallows or the way her auburn hair falls over her shoulder. I don’t look at her stomach hanging over her waistband or think about how much I want to grab her, and how easily I could pull her towards me and lose myself in her. 

Before I know it, I’ve downed the whole can of coffee. 

“This was a mist—“ I say, right as Josie says, “Got it! Ready?”

She flushes for a second then, and leans back. “Oh, sorry. What was that?”

“This was a mistake,” I say again before I can help myself. 

A flash of fear and pain darkens her expression, so I act without thinking, and hold up the coffee. “This. I’m gonna regret it in about an hour.”

Relief floods Josie’s body and I see her almost sag with relief as she nods. “That’s for certain. Ready?”

She starts the video, and the Haunted Archivists begin with their usual affair. Shots of past videos flash across the screen as they introduce themselves and what they do, followed up with talking heads of Lourdes and Mick introducing this month’s subject. 

I glance over at Josie as they run through a list of noted ghosts in town, and she mumbles under her breath when she forgets a few that only a small group of locals know. 

Elitist, I think fondly. 

They start with the Barkeep, then the Kramer twins and the Librarian, running down the list until it’s time for their last and most exciting overnight investigation in the graveyard. 

Mr. Ngo appears on the screen, doing an interview in his office as he introduces the graveyard and its history.

“Yeah, boss!” I say, pointing at the screen. “If he’s not watching this right now, I’m going in tomorrow to show him.” It’s my day off, but I don’t even care. He looks great, even if he did ultimately forego the cowboy hat. 

They show my interview next, and I immediately want to crawl into the nearest hole as it plays. 

“Aw, you look great,” she says, which does nothing to help. 

It’s a mercy when they finally move on to the actual investigation of the graveyard, and we watch as they set up various tools and equipment to detect ghosts all over the graveyard. The entire event looks much more interesting on camera than it did in real life, and I wonder if [something about the magic of movie editing]. From my point of view, they had wandered about, spent a lot of time not talking, and wrote down a lot of notes. But in the video itself, [something else]. Even the ouija board session looks cool and dramatic in the video, and I’m half lost in the story, ridiculous pad it is.

And then Josie pipes up: "Wait. Rewind a bit?" Her face is pale as she presses the arrow keys back to the moment right before Renfield knocks over the ouija board, and presses play.

"Is anyone there?" Mick asks again. "Anyone want to talk to us?"

The planchette moves to YES.

"Who are you? Is this Lucille Blue?"

The planchette circles the board senselessly and moves back to YES.

They ask Lucille a few more questions before the voice over narrates, "It was at this time we heard yelling off in the distance. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. Unfortunately..." Renfield bursts through the scene, knocking over the board, with me hot on his heels.

Josie taps the space bar again. The video pauses, and she looks up at me with wide eyes.

"What?"

"Didn't you see the video?"

"Yeah. Millions of people just saw me embarrass myself on camera. What's your point?"

"They didn't say goodbye."

"What?"

"The Archivists. They didn't say goodbye before ending the session."

I snort, taken aback. "Well, they didn't exactly have a choice."

"That's bad. If they don't say goodbye, then the ghost is released into the world. It's not tied to the ouija board anymore."

I press my lips together, fighting hard not to laugh. She knows I don't believe in this stuff, but she still seems to expect me to react to this like it's a life-changing calamity. "Josie...

"No, Kaz, I'm serious. They opened a door into the afterlife by inviting anyone to the session, and then didn't close it properly."

"You realize how you sound right now, right? There's no door -- or a metaphysical door," I rush to add before Josie can interrupt. "They were moving the planchette on their own. You know that, don't you? It wouldn't be good content if they don't have something to show for it."

She shoots me a glare.

I feel my jaw tighten, and my brows raise in disbelief.

[They argue.]

"Enough. I don't want to hear it," she says, and stands. "I've got to do some research."

"I'm not letting you into the graveyard after closing," I call, and huff as Josie all but slams the door behind her. I don't mean to antagonize her like this, but we've had this argument a hundred times over. Josie believes in the supernatural as much as she believes in the weather app on her phone. I, meanwhile, have a bit more common sense, and know that a 30% chance of rain means nothing in the middle of summer when we don't see a single cloud for weeks on end. [Find a way to make this less clunky]

[Transition. Something happens. Josie corners Kaz at work. Josie is bringing up the idea of reaching out tot he HA, bringing them back, then...]

I don't even let her finish. "Absolutely not."

"But--"

"I know you're a fan, but this is so wildly inappropriate. I could lose my job over this, and Mr. Ngo would lose any chance of follow ups. Do you know how much they paid for film permits here?"

"Seriously? You're worried about money?"

"A lot, Jo."

"Come on--"

"That money is helping us pay for [something important.] We can't risk losing out on future [whatever]."

Josie shot me a look. "You're just saying no because I'm the one asking you."

"Josie." I mean, she's a little right. I don't want to admit it, especially because I would never agree to this kind of thing anyway unless it was directly from Mr. Ngo, but there's a special sort of vindication in being allowed to refuse Josie this thing that's so incredibly important to her, and is so incredibly out of the realm of realistic expectations.

[Arguing.]

I storm off, leaving Josie in the student union alone, and make a beeline for home. I don’t even think about the route I take until I’m halfway through the graveyard, fists clenched and half blind as the sun sinks further below the horizon.

I can’t help but notice a flower pot besides a grave. The flowers are wilted. I’ll have to replace them on my next shift.

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[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Reader

Part Nine - Brighter Days

Posted: 20/03/23 Edited: 13/08/23

Stirring awake to the sound of Rachel placing a cuppa on the bedside table beside you then feeling the mattress dip as she crawled into bed, you could have thought you were still dreaming. Sliding one arm underneath your neck and wrapping the other around your waist, she pulled you into her as you rolled over to lay on her chest. “Stay at mine tomorrow? Mum’s at her boyfriends so I’ll be alone” you hummed in contentment. “We can’t have that can we?” she said cupping your cheek and leaning in for a kiss. “I can introduce you to the rest of the family and show you round my end?” you suggested. “Sounds perfect darlin” she smiled, still clutching your face and kissing the the tip of your nose in response. You reluctantly rolled out of bed and got ready to leave, saying goodbye at the front door. “I’ll miss you, this is our first night apart” Rachel pined leaning on the door frame, “you’re gonna have a great day with Millie” wrapping your arms around each other to share a passionate goodbye kiss. Rach opened the door and as you walked out screamed so loud you probably woke all her neighbours up, Millie was standing right outside and jump scared you both, camera rolling and in hysterics. Clutching your heart, you smacked her arm “it’s was too early for your shit Mills!” still trying to get your heart rate back into double figures. “Well you two have a good day! You better not post that!” rolling your eyes as you left in your car.

At work you asked for holiday for the World Cup, your manager being Georgia allowed you to use all your annual leave so you could go to the entirety of the tournament. She also allowed you to work from home for the remainder of your shifts knowing it was a long journey from where you’ve been staying for the past few weeks. It was such a benefit that your best friend got the managers position last year! You spent the day sort of working but mostly gossiping with your pals then headed home to your mum’s, spending the evening watching films together and ordered a take away. In bed you flicked through Tiktok spotting that Daly Brightness had posted a new video of them dancing for the first time in a year, they both looked ridiculous which made you laugh. “You both give me life 😂💜💙” you commented before going to sleep.

Katie picked you up the next day for your last day of work at the office. You completed absolutely nothing and spent all your time online shopping for clothes for Australia and discussing everything with your girls. Checking your phone at lunch to see you had a new notification ‘Rachel Daly posted a new photo’ pop up, clicking on it to see she had posted the photo of you leading her out onto the pitch from the photo shoot before the Brazil game with the caption “had the best mascot last night 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿❤️” the photo was of the back of you and holding Rachel’s hand was the main focus with your Daly shirt fuzzy in the background. You text her instead of commenting anything “you’re the cutest 💖🤭” you sent, “besotted 😉💜” she replied.

A few hours later you were packing up your stuff ready to leave the office for the last time, you were gonna miss the girls but you knew you’d talk everyday. Hugging them goodbye at the door Georgia spotted something over your shoulder and nodded in that direction. Turning around to see Rach in the car park, leaning against her car, one foot resting on the bonnet with her hands full of flowers. “You’ve got a good’un there (y/n)” Katie nudged you, both your friends were so happy you’d finally found someone worthy of your love. As you walked down the metal staircase they leant over the balcony squealing as they watched you go. Running across the road to greet her and launching yourself into her arms, she grabbed you around the waste spinning you round. Placing you down she arched your back to kiss you like in a movie, you’re sure she was just putting on a show for the girls who were clapping and squealing as she passed you the flowers. “Throw the bouquet!” they shouted “I feel like we need confetti!” You both laughed and waved up to them, “ we love you!!!!” they screamed as Rach helped you into the car “they seem excited” she smiled as her hand clutched your thigh. Gazing up at your best friends you couldn’t believe how perfect your life was, “they are” you replied coyly, not wanting to let out the secret that you’re going to Australia with her.

Directing her back to your mum’s house, you got changed then went to meet your grandparents who had put on a spread for tea, they always make an effort for guests no matter who it is. The way Rachel interacted with them made your heart happy, sitting back to admire her playing a very competitive game of scrabble with your grandad while you showed your granny pictures of your adventures. After leaving your grandparents house you directed her to the edge of town and along a quiet road which sat high upon the rest of the area. Pulling up in the darkness all the lights were glistening in the distance, this time you opened the door for Rachel and lead her hand in hand to a bench between two trees. It can’t be seen from the road and only locals know it’s there, it had the perfect view over looking the town that was sparkling against the night sky. You spoke about growing up there, your parents breaking up which still makes you sad sometimes but your mum’s engaged again and planning a wedding for next year. You spoke about her day with Millie and the fun they got up to, Rach asked if you managed to book annual leave but you said you have to wait to see if it’s approved. You wanted to do something special when you tell her the news. Knowing your mum is getting married again, she asked about your dad. “I’ll show you” getting back in the car and directing her to to the restaurant your dad owns nearby for a quick snack and a catch up with him before heading home.

Rach found herself some PJs out of your drawer and used your toothbrush before joining you in the bedroom. “I’ve gotta go to St James Park to do some promo with the team for the Arnold Clark Cup in the morning, I probably won’t be here when you wake up so…” she said while rummaging in her bag “will you meet me back home?” as she held out her hand with a key attached to an Aston Villa keyring. Glancing from her hand to her face your eyebrows raised with surprise. “I know you don’t want to leave your mum’s yet but there’s no harm having a key is there?” she looked down to her feet as shyness took over her usually confident demeanour. You shook your head as your smile widened, taking the key from her hand and kissing her softly on the cheek. As you crawled into bed together you spooned while watching the TV until you both fell asleep with your arms wrapped around each other.

Part Ten - What Are You Scared Of? 🔞

[azumasoroshi]

i have no idea what episode this is part 2

part 2 of this post i think?? tbh i found the clip in some random youtube video i have no idea if this takes place directly after or not and im just judging based on the time of day/setting

(i actually did search through like. the last few episodes of season 1 and the first few episodes of shou and i couldnt find shit so i'm assuming that this episode happened in one of the places i didnt check. not for lack of trying but because the website i was using straight up died on the spot trying to load them all so quickly)

(edit: it's episode 16 of durarara season 1 ty @/pineapplething)

this screenshot is killing me actually. i had to pause instead of doing the 0.25 speed thing because i need his hands to be on his hips so it looks like he's just. staring down at the thing judgingly. izaya's pose is so funny because right before that he's like

'what the fuck are you doing shizu-chan'

i forget the context of this scene too but like. why wasnt he pointing the knife at shizuo?? what were they doing. bro i love not having ANY context whatsoever and being too lazy to look up the actual episode

anyway babygirl looks so ugly in those shots god bless

bro why you arching your back like that 🤨

in front of izaya too. god

the way they have four separate reaction shots for izaya. bro the things that must've been going on through his head were NOT safe for work on god.

the way he says 'seriously' and then remembers to point the knife like bro had to take a second. he was processing. he almost looks enamored in that first shot actually (<- delusional)

izaya's rectangle prism ass never ceases to amaze. glad he keeps that in both art styles

shizuo looks so funny from this angle i bet you could get the most unhinged smear frames every time he goes rage mode

can we get like an angry shizuo aesthetic moodboard except it's all either low quality or smear frames. it'd be really funny trust

also incredible how shizuo can extend the length of the guard rail to like. twice its size. it was not that big in the previous images. i wonder if that's a metaphor for something

god these SUCKED to get pictures of because celty comes in so fast and there's no indication of when the frames will switch but i do it for you (im doing this for me. im obsessed. i have a final on tuesday for the class i have a B in but actually i think it's a D now)

these would probably be much easier to screenshot if i just downloaded the videos but why would i do that when i can press the back arrow key 50 zillion times and listen to the crunchy 0.25 audio explode every time shizuo opens his mouth

this image gets me every time ugh they almost look like they were having a casual conversation or smth (<-delusional)

just. arch enemies both being distracted by something long enough to stop beefing with each other does something to me. i dont even know it doesnt have to be romantic i just like watching it (although it's usually romantic because im a sucker for enemies to/and lovers if you couldnt tell by my usual ships)

that's the end of this scene (or at least the youtube clip of it. you cannot ask me to load all those anime episodes again) but like man. good shit ill be replaying this in my brain for the next week or so

[kitekki-khaos]

A Year of Khaos: 2023 Review

Welp. 2023 is officially over and we're onto another year. I wanted to put together some kind of year in review thing and since I didn't get a chance to do it during my final stream of the year, I thought I'd just put it all together into a blog post. So here's an overall look at the year:

2023 was my "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" year in an attempt to really feel out what I wanted to do with streaming. So my plan was to pick a Thing for each month, really go all-in on it for the month, and make something focused around that by the end. Then change for the next month, rinse and repeat.

I've always been a Jack-of-all-Trades, which is as much a blessing as it is a curse. I CAN do just about anything if I decide I want to do it, but that also means there's no One Thing I'm really good at. The only One Thing I have is something that's borderline impossible to stream, which is writing. So... Project Year. Try everything, see what sticks.

So I present, the various skills I attempted to build throughout the year and the final product they produced:

Projects Completed:

January: Fashion Design - Ironmouse Outfit Contest Entry

(List continues under Read More)

February: Blender - New VNyan Throwables

March: Variety Streaming - Trying different Stream Categories

April: Game Development - Ludum Dare

May: Sewing - Summer Wardrobe

(horrible failure, just ended up making things in blender, instead)

June: Traditional Painting - Minis

July: Minecraft Redstone - Basics

August: Minecraft Map Building - Halloween Adventure Map

September: Stickermaking - Sticker Chat Banner

October: Dance / MMD - Halloween Transition & Halloween Stream

November: NaNoWriMo - WIP

December: Thankmas & 3-Year Debut Anniversary - Charity Streams and 3.0 Reveal

In addition to the projects I was working on throughout the year, I was also working on the 3.0 model at the same time. Throughout the entire year. Which, I came to realize was kind of a mistake trying to do both. I just barely got the model done in time because my time was so heavily split between so many things. Especially when you add that I was ALSO still editing videos for Youtube all the way until September. (which was a full 12-hour day, twice a week) So I was working on completely rebuilding my models from scratch in a program I was wildly unfamiliar with (blender), doing a new project every month, streaming 3x's a week (usually upwards of 6 hours), AND editing 12-hours a day twice a week to post 2 videos and 2 shorts every week.

It was... a lot.

Last year was a lot.

Too much. Even for me.

There were even a few more things on the list that I wanted to try out this year, but ended up not being able to figure out how to stream it. Baking, for example.

But I'm hoping to find something I can really focus on for the coming year and lessen at least some of my constant uncertainty about what I'm doing with life. And maybe ease up on the work, in general. If I was awake, I was working last year. I was so burnt out and exhausted by the time December rolled around, I had no energy left for my biggest event of the year. Honestly, I'm still exhausted. I wanted to get this post out ages ago but I just had no energy to write it.

I need to ease up a bit next year. Figure out what I actually want to do. But I feel like I have a slightly better handle. Maybe.

We'll see how it goes.

As a final note, here's a list of every game I played throughout 2023, which was honestly a lot. I try to finish as many games as I can, especially the horror games, with the exception of co-op games or sims. Some unfinished games (like Hollow Knight and A Hat in Time) I plan to finish at some point. Others, like Digimon Survive, I've decided to drop for good. Whereas yet others, I'll probably finish on my own as an off-stream game. (Slime Rancher 2 I'll probably play by myself but I've played through Ni no Kuni like 3 times in the past so I'm fine leaving that one where it was).

Games Played - 53 Total

( * - Finished / + - Co-Op/Sim )

My horror game backlog is massive so Indie Horror Nights are guaranteed to return in 2024. Obviously. Horror is kind of a thing. Variety Night is also guaranteed to return because I like having a day where I can just do what-the-fuck-ever.

However, I don't know if Project Night will be a set thing in the future. Additionally, I'm considering adding a fourth stream day but I haven't committed to the idea yet. I want to get back to fashion design but I don't think I'll be picking the seasonal collections back up for this year. Maybe just do themed outfit sets, instead. I may also try making them in blender instead of VRoid this year, as well.

There are a lot of decisions to be made about 2024 still.

I'm not sure what I want out of this coming year yet. But thank you to everyone who puts up with my perpetual indecisiveness, there will be more in the future.

Here's to a new year and new possibilities.

[ravenwolfie97]

okay i have to talk about this because it's been really bothering me lately and i need to say something before i explode

so lately i've been noticing on many videos, shortform or otherwise, that they include subtitles! awesome! super helpful and cool

but idk if it's always been a problem and i'm only noticing it now, or if it's gotten particularly bad lately, but... recently a lot of those subtitles are really really bad

slight tangential anecdote: i used to do some freelance captioning work in between real job hunting, and it was a good experience. i was already interested in doing it, obviously, but i was coached on proper captioning etiquette and guidelines to make it look as nice and readable as possible while also transcribing the audio as best as i could before my superiors would touch it up. so i do know a thing or two about proper subtitling, but even if you didn't you would Know that there are some serious problems right now

i'll give a few non-specific examples (bc i'm too lazy to hunt them down to show you). there is a pretty popular (i think) youtube shorts personality who mostly does reaction-based videos, like i think it's actually mostly tiktok stitches reuploaded to yt shorts. but anyway this person, along with most other tiktok people who have subtitles for their lil internet rambles, are probably only basing off of their voice, like there's some kind of auto-caption that gets most of the words right, save for a couple small ones. i can understand that especially for the reaction/vlog crowd who are just trying to pump out videos, but like. i also follow john and hank green. they also reupload their tiktok stitches to yt shorts and have subtitles. and guess what? they're flawless. immaculate. you Can change them. or maybe they just talk better idk my point still stands that there is issue here stemming from having the computer do it with minimal to no touch-up. which leads me to my next example

one of the first nails in the coffin recently was this one pokemon youtube shorts guy i kept getting where he'd look into old game saves. all of the videos are subtitled, but similar to the tiktoks, it appears to be transcribing the voice on its own. what's worse and the most important here is that - remember - this is a series of pokemon videos. saying a pokemon name and expecting an AI to understand what that is out the gate is insane. and it doesn't. any time a pokemon's name is said, it just spews out words that are vaguely similar-sounding standard english words. and it's never the same each time too, which is fun. this is where taking the time to edit or even give a smidge of a damn to the craft of your video really would mean a lot, because for as many as i've seen it turns me even more off every time i see those shitty subtitles. but unfortunately that's not the worst i've seen in the last few days

the one that hurt me so much i physically could not stand it, to the point that i left a Comment on how bad it was, was an edit of a streamer's twitch VOD. normally, this streamer uploads snippets of their streams to yt shorts and has really good and well-edited captions there! i usually have nothing to complain about from this guy. but this one particular video... i don't know if it's because it's an older VOD and someone's just been holding on to it for months, or if it was a huge rush job, or What. but this video had literally the worst captions i had ever seen. they were just slapped down in chunks, not even lining up with the people who were talking, a negligible amount of punctuation, literally the barest minimum of effort. but that's not all! let's not forget that this is an edited clipshow, and there are Effects and Transitions for not only the video itself but the text as well! so SOME amount of effort was put into this because it got actually edited into a decent-sized video instead of just being a small clip. it's literally makes me sick i am so unhappy about it

main point, TL;DR, moral of the story: for the love of all that is holy, please remember that captioning is literally an accessibility feature. some people cannot hear or are unable to listen to videos sometimes, and i can't imagine what a hearing-impaired person who relies on subtitles to engage with videos would think watching either of my last two examples. what makes it worse, too, is that i can't even tell these people to hire someone to do it for them, because oftentimes they DO have people to do that work for them. and they still fuck it up. and then they continue on, to churn out more content. ugh just take a moment to remember that captions are not just for engagement. they're a tool, and some people can use only those as their guide through your video. don't make it impossible to parse. the purpose of them is to be read and understood. and you can't do that if the sentences are in overlapping chunks or if your words are too non-standard to be translated by a computer

[theageofsims]

Hey guys, just wanted to continue on being a nerd to the highest power (math... 😫😫😫) -- and say thanks for checking out some of my videos and downloading some of my builds and Sims.

I hope they inspire you to create in ways you may not create already. I know I struggle with understanding CC/Mods so I look for them instead of make them for myself, but I believe anyone can make a great Sim or Sims family with what the game offers as well as building.

Sometimes I see some simmers struggling to keep a save going because things don't look the way they want it to look because they don't have all the packs like the person next to them has or they don't understand Reshade -- or their computers honestly can't handle it.

I started Simming in 2000. I was just about 12 years old and believe me, I crashed plenty of computers that my dad would spend hours fixing (he worked in IT so it was his job -- literally 😂), and as time went on I realized how taxing a Sims game could be even though it's not a highly intense action packed game.

I stuck with Sims 2 for way longer than a lot of people probably did because it was all I could get to run on my laptop with ease... But soon I overheated my laptop by playing Sims 3. I even built myself a desktop computer during the first half that the Sims 4 has been around and even that couldn't handle it very well.

It's been about 3 years that I've got a low budget gaming laptop because I told myself I wanted something that could run Photoshop, minor video editing, and of course -- the Sims. Well -- it still stutters. Not just the game, but everything that I do with it. 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

The point I'm trying to make is that you don't need a state of the art computer. You don't need all the packs. You don't need every ounce of CC or Mods -- to make your game everything that you want it to be.

We all didn't start in the earlier days and sometimes I think the glitz and the glamour is what is the draw. Everyone knows Sims 4 is the best looking game we've ever had graphically -- but that's not where it started.

I stuck with Sims all these years because they let my imagination run wild -- and that's what I hope others will do or at least give it a try.

All you really need is one Sim you take a liking to, $20,000 simoleons, and a lot -- to make it happen.

Each Sims game meant something different to me and maybe it did/does to you.

Sims 1 amazed me because I was 12 and I could remove pool ladders so they could drown -- and get off the school bus the following day to do the same damn thing to another Sim.

Sims 2 made me want to make CC -- and yes, I've been trying to make decent CC since Sims 2... And still failing, but Sims 2 also made me grow a little bit attached to a few Sims completely unexpectedly.

Sims 3 brought out the Sim and World builder in me. I would spend hours with the World Tool and build all sorts of worlds -- I thought it was fascinating. I also started making -- yes, some of my most favorite Harrison Ford movie characters (because yes, he's been my most favorite actor for 15 years... And counting!)

And last, but not least -- Sims 4 brought the storyteller and the lot builder out of me, as well as the legacy challenges I'm starting to realize.

Whatever you choose to do in your game -- make it count... Make it your own and nobody else's.

Anyway -- Happy Simming and later days. 💻🙂♥️

[nerdnag]

How is your work situation? Still improving?

Yes!!

Well. The main thing that fucked me up is still improving, at least! The coworker who used to be really negative toward me has been nice recently, and I suspect it may be because my new boss has talked to her about it (which I have to assume she has done). The new boss and I have an excellent relationship and we think alike on all the most important stuff. Also a lot of the things I had to do in the past year are now no longer my responsibility which is a huge relief.

However. I may be a tiny bit--ok large bit swamped right now.

See, for the past half year or so I have been working on developing an IT platform for our clients which will replace our old one. (I have built it within another software, so don't go thinking I'm a pro software developer or anything, I've just played with lego basically...) Although some of my coworkers have gotten involved in the later stages, I'm still the main project owner, and I'm the only one who fully knows how everything works.

We have a little over 100 clients to move from the old platform to the new one, it takes somewhere between 1-2 hours minimum to move one of them (as well as 1 hour more for some extra polish), and we might lose access to the old platform on Sept 1st because of... reasons. So we need to move as many as we can before then.

Also I've been stressing around in the past week trying to write the manuscript for/edit informative videos about the new platform (and if it hadn't been for the fact that my partner happens to love recording voice stuff and is also good at it then I might have had to fully record the videos as well, but thank god my boss allowed me to bring in my partner to do it instead, so now I only have to write the script, record the moving pictures and edit the videos together), all while scribbling together a manual for the clients (which I'm giving almost the exact same content as the script for the videos because fuck it) and moving the very first client to the new platform two days ago, while writing an internal manual for my other coworkers who are involved in the project as for how to move a client, and struggling to fix last-second bugs, and tomorrow I'm live-showing all our co-workers who have not been involved so far how to use the new platform, and on Tuesday I'm doing the same for our clients, and... And...

And next week I'm starting up a new client (who will take up 50% of my time until december) while juggling another client (on 25%), and who knows what unexpected issues may occur with the new platform in the meantime, not to mention all the other more sporadic clients which I have barely had time for in the past year, and other internal company stuff I need to do...

... Ok I'm a huge bit swamped.

But tbh I'm much rather swamped as in "too much to do" than treated badly by coworkers. And things will improve in a few months.

(Besides it's partly my own fault anyway that it's this stressful right now, because I've known for over a year that we had the Sept 1st deadline, but because I was swamped by other things and felt horrible at work most of the time and because my adhd happens to thrive on short deadlines, I delayed the project until I basically couldn't delay it any more. I mean, it's not only my fault. It's just. I can't really duck away from all the blame, you know.)

But yes! Things are improving for sure ^_^

[gamesception]

So here's the new toy that's been distracting me the last couple days. My decade+ old oversized ASUS gaming laptop finally pooped out several months ago, leaving me daily driving my Steam Deck of all things as my main home computer. And don't get me wrong, the Deck has performed remarkably well in that regard, but I've been meaning to get something a bit fancier for a while. Something that could handle 1440p gameplay at a decent framerate while streaming or recording, can manage image and video editing well, and in particular can run some VR games. I've been interested in VR gaming ever since Lobac posted about some of that a while back, especially with the Meta Quest 2 being a solid headset at a really aggressive cost. With the Zuck giving up on the metaverse, the Quest is likely never going to be cheaper than it is now.

I'd waffled for a while about building a PC, but in the end I psyched myself out and decided to go with a pre-built instead. Yes, that means willfully overpaying for the end product by a few hundred bucks to pay someone else to do the assembly and initial set up for me, but in exchange I only had to research one product instead of half a dozen separate components, plus there's a single warranty where if anything doesn't work it's somebody else's problem to fix it, and I'd only have to deal with a delay.

After watching and reading a bunch of reviews, Skytech seemed to be a decent choice for system integrator, with solid to positive reviews for various prebuilt models they offer, including Gamer's Nexus who tend to be pretty harsh on pre-builts. But it was this review from JustIN Tech that sold me on this Azure 2 model. "Performance equivalent to last gens best, but at half the price" is the exact tag line I was looking for, and after a recent price discount it was just within my $2k range.

In retrospect though, I should have done some more research on the specific components. I'm quite happy with the intel 13600 cpu, and while the included cooling setup is overkill for that chip, that just means I've got some free thermal space to overclock or upgrade in the future. Plus, it's pretty, and I'm shallow. On the other hand it turns out the nvidia 4070ti is not well thought of - generally considered badly overpriced, plus has the extra negetive association of being just a rebranding of the failed '4080 12gb' that was so roundly panned that its release had to be canned altogether. And the PNY model that came bundled in my unit isn't even as nice as the Gigabyte one in the JustIN Tech review. One of the reasons why Gamer's Nexus is the better channel for these sorts of reviews is that they do secret shopper and get the same stuff regular folks get, where as brands know what they're sending to channels like JustIN Tech and can take pains to make the best possible impression by including better components and taking extra care in assembly and packaging.

So what should I have purchased instead? I don't know. Maybe the 'blue' model of the same Azure 2 line, which is three hundred dollars cheaper to swap out the 4070ti for an intel Arc a770, which would probably have been more than enough for my intended use cases. Heck, with 4 extra gb of vram it might have even been better than the 4070ti for me in the long term, and if not then I could use the money saved towards swapping out to a better AMD card next gen. But the blue model comes in a blue version of the case, which wouldn't have made the swirly rainbow rbgs pop as much.

Anyway, while I might have made a different choice if I had done more research, that doesn't mean I'm at all unhappy with what I got! The Azure 2 arrived promptly. The build quality of the system is very nice. No damage, no loose or cross-threaded screws. Everything worked right out of the box when plugged in - including all the various external ports. Skytech certainly did a good job putting it all together. While the 4070ti might not be the most reasonably priced card for its performance level, now that it's here and paid for regardless, it seems like it should be able to do everything I want it to, at least for now. And if I end up replacing the gpu sooner then I would have liked, eh, we live and learn.

And while it doesn't matter at all compared to cost and performance, the swirly rainbow rgb lighting makes me feel like a Real Gamer (tm).

Desk is getting a bit cluttered tho.

As for performance, It's quiet and runs cool while playing my current games at top settings - though my particular game selection (mostly just Elden Ring on max settings with Ray Tracing), and my 1080p, 75hz monitor aren't exactly putting it through its paces yet. A new monitor is one of several upgrades & accessories I plan to get to go with this thing in coming months. New monitor, VR headset, an extra ssd on which to install linux - I figure I'll keep the windows install on the side, on the off chance there are games or utilities I can't get running in Linux down the line.

But anyway yeah, that's what I've been so busy with lately, delaying liveblog posts.

[succubusphan]

Two Man Team - Chapter 10

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 10: Wild Horses

The following morning, Noah and Mark made him breakfast and hugged him before leaving for work. Phil smiled at the thought that Mark and Noah sometimes acted like his stand-in parents; he was glad that they never made him feel like a third wheel and that Noah was so wonderful, just accepting their friendship and joining instead of trying to break them apart.

Taking a deep breath, Phil thought about the day ahead. He was not going to check his phone for any sign of Dan because he knew that it would probably take a few days for him to reach out. If he put it into his head that today was the day Dan would text, he would only get anxious. Instead, he went for a morning walk after breakfast, bought lunch and came back home to work on his next video. He considered it for a moment. If Dan really wanted to go on with the project he’d mentioned, it would bring his own sexuality into question, so why not take the opportunity to make a coming out video of his own?

To be fair, Phil wasn’t really in the closet, everyone knew. Or most people knew anyway, he just didn’t announce it. Maybe it was time for a change. 

He grabbed a notebook and started the script titled “Coming Out To You.” It was a bit sassy but it was the truth; Phil wasn’t coming out in general, this was just for his viewers, for them to know a bit more about him, to feel loved and accepted, and to open the door to that conversation. This would come with the added bonus of finally being able to make gay jokes on his channel and it would also probably cost him some sponsors, but if he couldn’t afford to come out with so many subscribers and after 10 years on the platform, what was the point?

He made this script his lifeline, a mental escape from his reality and the imminent wrecking ball to his mental stability that Dan’s text could potentially be. He paused briefly to consider what he would do if Dan backed out of his own project or on wanting to name Phil. He decided that he had made himself to focus on the video so much that he was going to work on it anyway.

It took 3 more days for Dan to contact him. By Sunday, Phil was starting to worry, despite his attempt to avoid thinking about Dan. Maybe the problem was that the script was ready and he had even chosen an outfit to film in. Luckily, just as he was finishing his lunch, Dan texted through Messenger.

“Hey, can we talk?”

“Alright,” Phil replied.

“Really? Just like that?”

“That’s what we agreed on when we last spoke and my friends think that I should talk to you.”

“Mark?” Dan asked and Phil could hear the jealous tone even in written form.

Phil rolled his eyes. “Partially. His boyfriend said that we should talk. Mark didn’t comment on it but said that he would break your legs if you hurt me.”

“I see,” Dan replied. “Where would you like to meet?”

“You can come to my flat.”

“Does Mark still live with you? I need my legs.”

“Planning on hurting me?”

“Technically I already have so I am looking out for myself.”

“I like how you used technically right there.”

“I feel like if we continue this conversation in writing it will not end well for me, so please give me your address and let me know when I can come over.”

Phil sent his address and paused for a moment. “You can come over today, any time that works for you.”

“Thank you. I will take a shower and take a taxi.” 

Phil reacted to the message with crazy eyes.

“Don’t react me,” Dan said, making him laugh.

An hour and a half later, the doorbell rang and Phil checked himself in the mirror before opening the door. “Hi,” he said, sounding almost shy.

Dan smiled at him, probably relieved to see that Phil was not immediately angry at him. “Hi,” he said and handed him a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks. 

Phil looked at his cup and thought back to the endless hours they had shared at Starbucks back in Manchester. “Thank you.”

“I just figured this would make it so you don’t have to keep making us drinks that we forget to drink,” Dan said and stepped inside, looking around already. “This is nice.”

Phil resisted the urge to remind Dan that this was supposed to be their shared flat. He had never sent Dan the link to the ad because he was already distant towards him. “Yeah.”

“I’m glad that YouTube has been good to you.”

He smiled and didn’t comment.

“What?” Dan asked.

“Nothing.”

Dan raised one eyebrow at him. “Really, Lester?”

Phil sighed. “I moved into this apartment in 2013 to take the job at the BBC and paid one year of rent upfront in cash with my savings.”

“Oh, this is the one… I didn’t know. You don’t really show your flat a lot in videos.”

Phil’s lips formed a tiny O as he caught onto that tidbit of information. “So you still watch my videos.”

Dan blushed. “I’ve always been your fan,” he said, and for once, he wasn’t being sarcastic or trying to sound edgy. “Are we going to sit somewhere or are we just going to stand here by the door?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Come on. Let’s sit on the sofa and drink these before they go cold.” He took a few sips as they walked for good measure. Phil let Dan sit and joined him on the sofa, taking a spot near him, but leaning back against the armrest to avoid any awkward touching. Besides, from this spot, he could really look at Dan without it being so obvious. His eyes followed the outline of Dan’s nose, his dry lips, his rosy patch and all the way down to his black sequin jacket that was catching the afternoon sun and projecting rainbows around the room. 

“So…” Dan said.

Phil stayed silent and just gave him a look, indicating that he should start.

Dan swallowed and gave a small nod. “I gave your analysis of everything a lot of thought and I couldn’t untangle it alone, so I called my therapist and booked an emergency session, which turned into almost 3 and then I continued on my own,” he said. “I believe you were right. I thought that I had everything fairly processed so this caught me off guard. I was so mad at myself for not seeing it sooner.”

“I’m glad that you agree.”

“This whole situation, meeting you in a random street in London… it brought so many memories and, honestly, so many issues back.” He took a sip of his drink and continued, his eyes looking around the room, avoiding Phil’s eyes. “I thought that I had it together and I liked the life I was living, but then I saw you and - I’m not over you.” He finally looked into Phil’s eyes with an openness that made Phil shiver. “It was so easy to see when I was not focusing on helping other people, when you were no longer just part of my past, so I had a mental breakdown.”

Phil tried not to smile but failed miserably. Even if it amounted to nothing, and even though he might not have wanted to admit it to himself the first time he heard it, he was happy to know that Dan still had feelings for him. It almost sounded too good to be true.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Dan asked, frowning.

“I am saying many things - inside my head.” He sipped on his coffee and set it back on the coffee table.

“Care to share with the class?”

“Fine,” Phil huffed. “I thought that I was over you because I’ve tried my best to not even think about you, but Noah said that it’s obvious that I have not moved on and other things I am not going to repeat. And I realised that he’s right.” He paused, doubting on whether he should really say it but seeing Dan in front of him, nearly holding his breath, made him take that leap of faith. “I had managed to convince myself that everything was fine, but no. Happy?”

“Very,” Dan said with a gorgeous smile. “Do you think we can try again? I would like to see where this goes and if it doesn’t work out, I would still like to stay friends.” He reached out once again, just like he had a few days ago, waiting for Phil’s reaction.

Phil looked at him, hesitating briefly and nodded, taking Dan’s hand and lacing their fingers together before setting their joined hands on his leg. Then, a thought crossed his mind. “What about Sebastian?” he asked. “Isn’t he your boyfriend?” 

“Not anymore. I thought I was happy with him, but there was never a chance that I would choose him over you and he knew that even before me,” Dan said, chewing on his lip for a moment. “He actually broke up with me before I could even think about it.”

“Oh,” Phil said, trying to not sound happy about it.

“He was right to break up with me,” Dan said, downing the rest of his coffee and setting the cup down. “It’s ok. When I came home from the play and he had moved out I felt relief. That’s a horrible thing to say, Phil. But it’s the truth.”

“How long had you been together?”

“Almost a year.”

“Never made it that long with anyone,” Phil blurted out before he could stop himself.

“Really?” Dan frowned.

“They weren’t you,” Phil said, watching Dan’s gleeful smile appear at the comment. “I stopped going out, I stopped hooking up with random guys. At this point, I could almost qualify as a virgin again.”

Dan smirked and his eyes darkened. “I doubt that.”

Phil knew that look well. “Behave,” he said, squeezing Dan’s hand. “We can’t just pick up where we left off. Things don’t work that way. Last time we rushed into it and it got complicated.”

“That’s true but -” Dan pouted.

“No buts. Let’s just hang out and see how we feel about it. See where it goes, if it goes anywhere.”

“Alright,” Dan said, but the air around them was still charged. “Let’s play some games.”

Phil smiled and let out a sigh of relief, he was hanging onto the will to resist Dan’s lustful eyes from a thread. He wanted it too, but not just for a day. He wasn’t going to repeat that mistake. There was still a chance that Dan would freak out again. He reluctantly let go of Dan’s hand. “Mario Kart?”

“Always,” Dan smiled.

Phil turned the console on and reached for his coffee, downing the last third of it.

“You still haven’t finished it?”

“No, you know I forget I’m drinking something and I finish it when I remember it.” He grabbed a cup containing half of his morning coffee and finished it as well just to prove a point. “This was my breakfast.”

“Come on, man!” Dan said. “Get it together!”

Phil winked at him with both eyes, sending Dan into a fit of laughter. Fuck, Phil had missed that sound. The hyena laugh.

To the surprise of no one, Dan won most of the races until Phil decided to slide closer to him and lay partially against him. Slowly but surely, Dan started to shift his attention from the game towards Phil, giving him little touches, playing with his hair and eventually, just pulling him to sit on his lap. That was the moment they dropped the controllers and just put on a random Studio Ghibli movie. 

Dan was fully enjoying messing with Phil’s hair, giving him odd hairdos. He ran his fingers through it, pushing it into a quiff. “I like your hair pushed back.”

“Did you just quote Regina George to me?”

Dan barked out a laugh. “I think I did.”

“I know you did,” Phil said, poking Dan’s tummy. It was so soft. Phil wanted to lift his T-shirt and look at it.

“You look so gorgeous, Phil,” Dan mumbled. “I hope you don’t mind me saying it. You were always hot but right now you’re just stunning. I can’t cope with that.”

“Me?” Phil said and paused. If he told Dan what he was thinking about his body, things were going to get out of hand, so he reformulated. “Your curly hair suits you so well and your back looks so good too. You look so strong now.”

“Thanks, I think I finally hit puberty,” Dan laughed. “Do you really like my hair like this?”

Phil nodded. “It’s perfect. So pretty,” he said looking at Dan over his shoulder.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s frame and dropped a small kiss to the tip of his nose.

Phil pressed his back to Dan’s chest and dropped his head back just so, their breaths mixing together as they got lost in each other’s eyes, the moment held them captive. Phil swallowed and cleared his throat, giving him a wide smile before looking away. It was not time yet. “How is your video idea coming along?” he asked instead.

“I paused it until we could discuss it again.”

“I like it a lot. I started a script of my own.”

“Oh?”

Phil finally got up from Dan’s lap and went in search of his notebook. He found it laying on his bed, uncapped pen at its side and everything. No, there was not a blue dot on his sheets, thank you for asking. “Here,” he said, handing it over to Dan.

Dan’s eyes widened when he read the title but he kept going, laughing here and there until he reached the end and looked up at Phil. “I love it. It’s much more detailed than your usual draft. Or - more detailed than what you used to write long ago.”

“I still draft the same way, it’s just for this project. I want to say the right thing and keep it brief, you know?”

Dan nodded. “I was thinking about hiring an editor, some are not as expensive as I’d thought. And for visuals… Do you remember Hector from Shittywatercolour? The one who made illustrations of us back in the day? I contacted him and can you believe that he agreed to do some illustrations for it?” He let out a deep sigh and shook his head, twirling a paper napkin between his fingers. “There are almost no people following me anymore, I’m below a million, so this is just for me. I need this video, or a part of me will always feel inside the closet no matter what  I do.”

“ I understand,” Phil said. “Are you scared of your family’s reaction?”

Dan shook his head. “I emailed them last week.”

“What?”

“I kept backing out so one day I just sent them all an email. Everyone was cool except for my dad, so I cut him out of my life. No surprise there. Nana and Popsie said that it’s ok as long as I’m happy but I think they don’t get it. Hopefully they will soon so that I can flaunt you at family gatherings and vacations.”

“Really?” Phil asked. He could almost picture that, but Dan was getting a bit ahead of himself.

“Yeah,” Dan said. “For now, I would like to flaunt you in a few weeks, if you’d like to go see my play. It’s called ‘Family Disaster’ and it’s about a family crumbling as one of its members spirals. The narrator is the person spiralling so things get a bit crazy and abstract at times.”

“Sounds interesting,” Phil said. “Of course I’ll be there.”

“Thank you, Philly,” Dan said, kissing his cheek quickly.

Phil felt his heart grow twice its size inside his chest just from hearing Dan calling him Philly again.

----

Phil both loved and hated the fact that he and Dan were so compatible, now maybe even more so than before. Having grown as individuals had given them a sort of new perspective on life, yet their opinions, their humour and even their flirting had followed the same path. It was almost as if they were soulmates, just as Dan had said in the past, despite insisting that he didn't believe in any of that.

In the following weeks, proofreading and reworking Dan’s script for his “June Video” was easily overtaking his life. Dan’s passion was just that infectious and it seeped into Phil’s soul, making him even more excited over his own coming out video. At first, he didn’t want to show Dan his work because they were very different videos but Dan was so eager to see it that Phil just couldn’t deny him. 

“So you’re filming it literally inside the closet,” Dan snorted. 

“I thought the old-time viewers would appreciate the irony,” Phil said with a smirk. 

Dan leaned in for a quick peck on the cheek. “I do appreciate it, thank you for thinking about my preferences.”

“Dork.” Phil felt himself blush and couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. It was all so new yet so familiar. They were officially doing a take two on their friendship but after some debating, they decided that certain things were allowed, such as hugging, cuddling and oftentimes, hand-holding, although not in public. “I was thinking, do you think it’s still alright for me to go see your play? I mean, if we are trying to be low-key about it.”

“I doubt that anyone we know will go see it and actually notice you in the crowd,” Dan said. “But if you feel unsure about it you don’t have to go. We can totally skip that and I can come over after, if you let me have a shower though; I’ll be a sweaty boy.”

“No, it’s not that I’m unsure about it,” Phil rushed to reassure Dan. “It’s just that-” he stopped himself, not wanting to plant the seed in Dan’s mind.

“What? You can tell me,” Dan said softly.

Phil knew he would confess all his secrets to Dan if he asked in that tone. He sounded calm, open, honest, ready to discuss things maturely and willing to listen carefully. “I am a bit hesitant because… I fear that you will freak out if someone realises I’m there, and I don’t want that to happen. I want to avoid any setbacks.”

Dan nodded. “I understand, but I don’t think I will. I know that the chance always exists but I know the chance exists, but even if it were to happen, I’m ready.”

Phil pulled him into a tight hug and smiled widely, slowly swaying from side to side, taking his time to let Dan know how proud of him he was without a single word. He pressed a kiss to Dan’s shoulder. “Look for me in the audience.”

“I never stopped looking,” Dan whispered.

---

When the day for Dan’s last show came, and with the support of his friends, Phil was ready to watch the play. He, along with Mark and Noah, sneaked almost last to a decent sized theatre and took their seats in the gallery, waiting for Dan to make an appearance. 

Phil was in awe, his eyes fixated on Dan as he did such an amazing job of fleshing out his character's emotions, putting his entire body into it and not only relying on the dialogue. It was a sad play but it had a hopeful ending as ‘Tom’ underwent treatment for his mental disorder, which had gone unnamed the entire play and the family sat down to eat in a much calmer way, the lighting brighter, reminiscing of a summer afternoon in contrast to the dark and moody ambient from before.

The lights were on and the entire cast came out to bow for their audience. Phil stood and joined the crowd in the final applause. Only then did he tear his eyes away from Dan and saw Noah and Mark at his side, clapping and giving him a knowing look. 

Looking back to the stage, Phil made eye contact with Dan, who winked at him and made a head incline. Phil smiled, feeling as if the butterflies in his stomach were going to fly out of his mouth at any given moment.

Noah leaned closer. “I liked the idea of going out to dinner and finally meeting Dan but it looks like you might want some privacy.”

Phil raised one eyebrow at him and blushed but didn’t address the comment. “We can go out to dinner as we agreed.”

“Please, he has managed to sneak looks your way the entire time,” Mark said. “We can go out some other time, I’m sure he’ll stick around.”

“Really?” Phil asked. “I thought I was imagining it.”

“No, it was obvious if you knew what to look for. He was smart about it,” Noah said. “He’s a good actor.”

Phil nodded proudly. “He was a theatre kid.”

“That makes sense,” Noah said. “Well, we’ll see you another time. Keep us updated.”

Mark wrapped his arms around Noah, setting his chin on his shoulder happily. “Remind him what I said. He better be good to you.”

“Shush,” Phil said, rolling his eyes. He looked down at the stage and found Dan still staring at him with a huge smile.

----

Phil stayed in his seat until most people had left the theatre and only then went in search of  Dan at the back entrance. He whispered a brief hello and grabbed Phil’s hand, catching him by surprise, and led him to a taxi. Once they were sitting inside, Dan just blurted Phil’s address and turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Is that alright? Sorry, I’m just tired and since your friends left I figured we could stay in.”

“Of course. Pizza and Mario Kart sound good?”

Dan let out a breathy laugh. “You know me so well,” he said, wrapping one arm around Phil’s frame.

Letting his head rest on Dan’s shoulder, Phil relaxed and kept thinking about what he’d seen on stage. Dan was born to be in the spotlight, it’s where he looked more comfortable and at peace. 

“What did you think of it?” Dan asked.

“You were amazing and the play was very interesting. It was very creative.”

“Hmm, Is that a good thing?”

“It is. I could tell that you put some of your psych knowledge into it. It was a nice metaphor on mental health and the impact it has on the person and their family.”

Dan nodded happily and stared straight ahead. “Can I still take that shower?”

“Sure,” Phil said, begging his mind to stop in its tracks. He looked at a droplet of sweat, or perhaps it was water, that fell from Dan’s hair and ran down his neck, disappearing under his white shirt.

Dan pinched Phil’s leg when he tried to pay the taxi, paying it himself instead and helping Phil out of the car. Once they were in the flat, Dan pulled him into a tight hug and stared into his soul for a moment before pressing their lips together. The fireworks igniting in Phil’s body were threatening with setting him on fire. They moved slowly, tentatively, but Phil could feel Dan’s love for him in every touch of their lips, in every sigh, in the way Dan’s hand rested on his neck softly. 

Dan was relentless and it was starting to affect Phil, the heat rising within him by the second. It was too soon for that. Phil stepped away and smiled when he caught Dan’s lips chasing after him. “You can use anything from my closet, the shower is down the hall.”

“Sorry,” Dan mumbled, blushing slightly and running upstairs, presumably to Phil’s bedroom in search of clothes. 

Phil pulled his phone out and called Domino’s ordering what used to be their usual. He then went to the living room to set the console and the plates before sitting on the couch for a bit. He was startled by a hand on his shoulder but relaxed when he opened his eyes and saw Dan, his hair still dripping from the shower, wearing his cookie monster pyjama pants and his York hoodie. That pulled at his heartstrings; Dan had always loved to wear that hoodie. “Did I fall asleep?”

“You did,” Dan laughed and pointed at the pizza on the coffee table.

“Fuck, I missed the doorbell?” Phil mumbled.

“It’s fine, it was a funny interaction with the delivery guy. I came out in a towel.”

“You went all the way down in a towel?” Phil asked with wide eyes. 

“No! Oh my god!” Dan snorted. “I buzzed him in and got the door here. Still an unsettling view for the poor guy though.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Unsettling, right.” He paused. “Have you considered being a model?”

“Are you serious? I could never! I look like a potato.”

“Shut up, you’re gorgeous!”

“I don’t see it,” said Dan and Phil was sad to look into his eyes and realise that he still believed that. “Don’t give me that face,” he said.

“I just think you’re so beautiful and I wish you could see it. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,” Phil said, still trying to find the right words.

“I’m working on it... Baby steps,” Dan said and shoved him to the side unceremoniously to fit at his side. 

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, his brow furrowed with worry.

Phil poked his side and smiled at Dan’s childishness. As the night progressed, they melted deeper and deeper into the couch until Phil checked his phone and his stomach dropped at the amount of Twitter notifications. He hadn’t posted anything for a few days, this couldn’t be good news.

“Is this 2012? My 13 year old self is crying tears of joy! My ship is sailing! @amazingphil @danielhowell” Attached to the tweet were three pictures. One taken from Phil’s back as he watched Dan on stage, one zoomed in from across the street as Dan guided him to the taxi and another at the first stoplight where Dan had already settled his arm on Phil’s shoulder.

[oddishblossom]

Tagged by @mdzs-rabbithole + @kimievii 💖 thank you both for tagging me! i’ve been falling behind on tag games so apologies for responding so late 😚

Favorite Color: Red & Pink

Currently reading: My attention span is so bad i’m physically incapable of reading a new book right now hahaha. but i can still read fanfics. there’s this really good one i’ve been reading called All He’ll See is Me by skyl_tales…. you can blame the kenobi show for my fixation here

Last song: …Besame by Ricardo Montaner. i know i listen to the SAPPIEST love songs ever I KNOW.

Last movie: I watched like half of white chicks a few days ago? i really haven’t been seeing a lot of movies lately

Last series: The 1999 telenovela from Colombia: Yo Soy Betty, La Fea (I’m Betty, the Ugly Girl)!! i just finished all 149 episodes a few days ago and UGH it’s SUCH a wonderful story!! 💖 i think this is where my love for angsty, painful, slow burn love stories started (i watched this for the first time when i was a kid but it’s been a while). the writing is so well done! i’m constantly wowed by the transition of scenes, the parallels and symbolism, and how the characters are written is driving me to want to write meta. it is 23 years old so there is stuff in the show that hasn’t aged well 😅. it’s about the rise of a woman who suffers through so much pain and abuse, but jumps to the highest position at her work and learns how to love herself; and the fall of her boss/love interest, a man who has it all, loses it all, ruins his own life, and learns how to love for the first time ever (and the process of him falling in love is not pretty. it’s like watching a stubborn baby deer try to walk and fall on his own face time and time again) and like…. the transformation these two characters undergo from episode 1 to 149 is amazing. seeing such a kind shy woman go on a vengeful journey of hate and seeing such a womanizing asshole slowly, slowly lose his mind and then gain a heart was spectacular. Ferrnando Gaitan (rest in peace) wrote an incredible story and i can’t stop thinking about it… 🥺💖

Currently working on: Oh, many things! My brain’s a bit of a jumbled mess and isn’t content unless if i’m juggling several projects at once 💔. My bingqiu fic is still my #1 priority. But Ch 4 has been giving me pacing issues, so I’m working on the outline for Ch 14 instead. One day I’ll finish it. Also working on various gifsets (the next one i finish is gonna be for shen qingqiu) aaaand working on some edits because i want to get better at video editing :)

Tagging: Leaving this tag open! If you see this and want to make one too, please go for it and say i tagged you 💖