#I would never wish death on a real person for being annoying in a game but I do hope her character dies forever

[llycaons]

oh my fucking god of COURSE she feels the need in the middle of a serious conversation to ANNOUNCE oh of COURSE I would never go to times square to see the ball drop, that's SO gouche and BENEATH me lady shut the FUCK up you are not better than anyone else just because you're rich and get attention for singing holy shit I hope this bitch (the CHARACTER not the player) dies. and this is ironic as hell because there is literally nothing tackier than loudly proclaiming how classy you are so. fail

[french-unknown]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: luffy, zoro, nami, usopp, sanji, robin 𝐂/𝐖: hurt/comfort 𝐖/𝐂: 950 +

| m a s t e r l i s t | - | p t . 2 |

𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐘

You're insecure because, unlike him who's passionate about his dream of becoming the King of Pirates, you don't have a big dream to fulfill.

You joined the crew because you wanted to leave a family in which you were unhappy and where your destiny was already mapped out until your death. Once you found a new family thanks to the Straw Hat crew, you decided to set sail on their ship to stay with them. You were happy with your daily routine as well as the adventures you were having, and that was enough for you. During the trip, you took the opportunity to start a book on life at sea as well as on the lifestyles of the inhabitants of the islands you had visited. However, it was more of a hobby than a real passion or a dream. So when you see Luffy giving all he got for his dream, you're afraid he'll think you're less interesting for not having a goal you care about so much.

𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎

Zoro is a calm and silent man, especially since your reunion on the Sabaody Archipelago, so you're sometimes afraid that he'll get tired of your bubbly and very talkative personality. You were worried that he would wake up one day from one of his many naps and leave you because you required too much attention and time.

You have always been an outgoing person who liked to chat with people and be aware of the latest gossip. It had always been an advantage when you were alone in a new place or in new social groups. Yet when you were with Zoro, you sometimes found yourself wishing you could shut up. Indeed, where you spent hours telling the swordsman whatever goes through your mind under his attentive - though rather neutral - gaze, you found yourself regretting having talked so much afterward. You wondered if you had annoyed him and if he wouldn't prefer a less noisy person.

| he comforts you about your insecurity |

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

After spending so much time with her on your adventures, if there's one thing you've learned about her, it's that she's very popular. She is beautiful, intelligent and you have no doubt that if she left you, she would have no trouble finding someone new given the list of suitors.

You've never been an extremely rich or extremely important person with rock-solid self-confidence so you didn't really see what made Nami choose you over all the people at her feet. It was a stroke of luck. She is also not very expressive about the reasons for her choice because she never clearly expressed what she liked about you. The dynamic of your relationship is mostly a teasing game on her part to which you gladly answer as long as she continues. But it sometimes makes you wonder when she'll let you down to find a better partner.

𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐏𝐏

With Usopp, what scares you the most is your fear of rejection because since he's also someone who is insecure, you are afraid that you will both leave the relationship if something goes wrong because of your insecurities on both sides.

Usopp is a fearful person, and while he's willing to overcome some of his fears for his friends, his inferiority complex has caused him to quit the Strawhat Pirates once. On your side, you are also terrified of being rejected in general, so you often prefer to stay in your comfort zone. The fact that you have that in common means that you often understand each other and it is also what brought you closer to each other in the first place. However, you can't help but tell yourself that, if there is the slightest problem, he will prefer to abandon your relationship because of the fear of not being enough. And you might not be strong enough to get him back either.

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈

The man is a womanizer who, unfortunately, can't help but rave about every woman who crosses his path. It's stronger than him, he becomes unrecognizable in the presence of a woman.

So even though you know he loves you dearly, you can't help but feel insecure about women. Maybe if, in your own way, you were as beautiful as Nami or as smart as Robin, he wouldn't leave your side to court them. Yet, even though you realize that's not the right way to think about it and that he mostly admires them for their gender qualities as a "gentleman", you still feel that empty feeling when you see him going to swoon over every woman he sees. Each time, the only thought that crosses your mind is that, if you were attractive enough, he wouldn't let you down for strangers.

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍

Robin is very intelligent: she reads a lot, she can decrypts the poneglyphs, she is interested in many fields etc... However, you are very far from being the most intelligent person in Grand Line and you often wonder if you don't make her bored.

You love to listen to her speak about what she reads and you could drink her words for hours when she talks to you about subjects that fascinate her like archeology or the mysteries of history. You are captivated every time she says something to you, even if you don't always understand everything she tells you. You also follow her with great happiness each time she asks you to accompany her to discover the city - and its bookstore - as soon as you arrive on a new island. Sadly, the fact that you're not as smart as her often makes you ask yourself if she's bored with you or just missing out on being able to argue with someone rather than just relate.

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄

[frozenfirecats]

Pirate101 ask Meme!!!

Questions 1, 2, 4, 5, 6,7, 9, 10, 12, 18,27, 28, 34, 38, and 41!!!

oh man that's a lot of questions, ok lets go

1 - Favorite crew member/companion?

bonnie anne my beloved. she’s so cool I wish foxes were real.

2 - Favorite world?

marleybone. the aesthetics and music go hard and the story peaks here

4 - What is your favorite class to play as and why?

musketeer for soloing cause it's the easiest imo and also the most fun, privateer for group play cause I like playing support

5 - What are the backstories for your Pirate? (Parents' death, where were they trained, Etc.)

Esmee: armada/skull island. Grew up among the rats in the sewers, having to steal what she could to get by, leading to her being quite adept at sneaking and using daggers. Strongly despises the Armada since she lost her parents to them, so she tends to be a lot more reckless whenever in a battle against clockworks.

Remmy: storm/marleybone. Was aboard a ship with his parents and sister, Maeve, when a storm struck. His parents died in the storm while he and Maeve where separated. After which, he was found by a Marleybonian ship and the dogs took him in. He grew up in Marleybone training to be a privateer but eventually found ranged weapons to be more to his liking. Was aboard a cargo ship tranporting weapons to Port Regal when he got captured in ambush by the Armada, and met Esmee that way.

Brynn: lost/marleybone. AU character of my ice wiz Brynn, just thought it would be fun to have her as a pirate so yeah no backstory.

Flint: mutiny/mooshu. haven't really worked out a backstory for him, this is just what it says in game. Will likely be change once I develope him more.

Maeve: squid/krokotopia. As mentioned earlier, she is Remmy's sister who was seperated in a storm (that a squid may or may have not been present in idk yet). Ended up in Krok where she learned magic.

6 - Who is your LEAST favorite crew member/companion and why?

wing chun, his voice and personality is a bit grating. idk I don’t really hate any of the mainline companions, and most of the non-story ones aren’t memorable and are lackluster combat-wise so they all meld together, so again I don’t have strong negative feelings towards any one in particular.

7 - How many Pirates do you have?

six, have five maxed out, the sixth was actually my first pirate I made, a musketeer named Ingrid, but I didn't make it that far into the tutorial before stopping. Later I made Esmee and it was then I got super into the game. I don't plan on questing with Ingrid anytime but I don't really feel like deleting her so she's just kinda there

9 - Any headcanons for your crew?

uuuuhhhheeeeuguh i got nothing sorry

10 - What does your flag look like? What are your crew colors?

Esmee

Remmy

Brynn

Flint

Maeve (hopefully I stay settled on this one instead of changing it a fifty more times)

12 - Do you headcanon anyone as LGBTQIA+? If so, who?

yeah I got a few. Bonnie: Lesbian, Ratbeard: gay, Toro: bi, Gracie: aro/ace, Sarah: lesbian. I would include Catbeard but that's canon now so.

as for my pirates, Esmee: ace, Remmy: bi, Brynn: pan, Maeve: trans mtf.

Flint is the token straight who's on thin ice

18 - Opinions on Cool Ranch?

love Cool Ranch. Visually it's gorgeous and the music absolutely slaps, however some parts of it drag and I don't like having to choose between wearing something culturally offensive or having shitty stats for my witchdoctor.

27 - Is there anything you wish was in the game? (Crafting? Fishing?)

tbh I find crafting really annoying in wiz so I hope it never comes to pirate. But I would love to see events akin to wiz's lost pages/five boxes. Especially five boxes I would love to see pirate get its own version of that.

28 - How long have you been playing Pirate101?

at least 3 years, can't remember exactly when I started

34 - What are the hardest and easiest parts of the game to play for you?

easiest is pretty much everything up until Cool Ranch, which is where the difficulty starts to ramp up. hardest is definitely the new updates, Tartarus and Wheeler especially.

38 - Is there anything you hope for in a future update(s)? What would you like to see?

would really love to go to Albion sometime. as for features, pretty much stuff we already have in wiz like character name/appearance changing, option to hide quests, and setting a minimum player requirement for team up, and please for the love of all that is holy give us the option to trash doubloons

41 - How did you first discover Pirate101? (Commercial, a friend, fanart, etc.) What inspired you to play?

kind of always knew about it through wiz, wasn't until around 2020/2021ish that I got interested in playing

[kurisus]

Chapter 107-2 thoughts

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

OKAY WELL!

Literally earlier, before the chapter came out, I'd said I'm not believing Hiyori is dead. They'd have to show Yato naming her to get me to believe that. And then this chapter happened. Fuck me, I guess!

It seems like the general reaction to this is that it's sad but I'm not really sad I'm just angry. As it is, we have two options: (1) this is all a fakeout, one last time, or (2) this is actually the intent and the series will end with Hiyori being made Yato's shinki.

Neither is really ideal. A fakeout this late in the game seems pointless and would likely involve an asspull of some sort, but the alternative is something that absolutely spits on the themes of the manga thus far and effectively negates the arcs of both Hiyori and Yato.

So all in all, I really wish they hadn't gone this route in the first place, but I'll take the lesser of two evils at this point. This manga has always been about overcoming tragedy, your past does not define you, the near and far shores cannot survive without one another but too much interaction disrupts the balance, et goddamn cetera. Making Hiyori Yato's shinki makes this story a tragedy, teaches Yato the same lesson he's already learned (HOSPITAL ARC), and eliminates the only near shore major character in the entire series.

Now the question remains: can they still reverse this? Like I'll take anything at this point, but is it even possible within the story's logic? I want to say yes, and I've already seen a few rumors flying--this dimension is all an illusion, the koto no ha is destroyed so the bubble is too, the gods can reverse all the people that have died from the creatures, it could be possible for Hiyori to become a god, etc.... I'm clinging on to that first one personally, but at the same time, I feel a looming dread because...Yato saw Hiyori's memories. He saw memories he didn't personally witness, which kind of makes me think this is the real deal. But I also really don't fucking want it to be?

"Ina wasn't your first fic for the fandom literally this exact concept" YES because what makes a good AU wouldn't always be good in canon, right? This was something I wanted to explore in the concept of fanfiction, because it's a different medium to play with different ideas. At the end of it, I kind of went, "phew, that sure would be bad, wouldn't it!" and went on with my life.

I dunno man. I'm just angry and sad and disappointed, and it's annoying to me as well to look back at all the other things they've resolved perfectly. I think of how flawlessly executed Yukine's arc was, and want to cry. Why can't Hiyori get this same luxury? Fakeout or not, her arc should've been her parting ways, preferably on her own terms, because that's what the story's been leading up to. Yes, her grandma told her to be with the one she loves, but I assumed that was just in the moment, and wasn't actually foreshadowing her death.

THE FUCKING. HOSPITAL ARC. SHE IS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD SHE CAN'T DIE YET. NOT UNTIL SHE'S AN OLD LADY!!!! YATO SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID HE LEARN FROM THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER LOVE ANYTHING I FUCKING GUESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At this point I'm going to deny it either until Adachitoka says sike or the manga ends. But needless to say, my reread's been postponed. I've been putting it off because of being busy irl, but if I reread now I'll just be bitching the whole time, and I don't want to do that to myself, and I don't think you guys want to read that either.

If it ends this way, I'll be bruised and bitter for years. If Adachitoka says sike, and Father dies believing Hiyori is dead (cause what was up with him losing his eyes), I'll at least cherish this one small mercy, but man, this is a sore blow. I'm sorry that normally my thoughts are excited and this one's just angry, but I can't put a positive spin on this yet.

Feel free to send me your theories or copium. I'll devour them all until I get made a clown of once more.

[selfshipping-central]

Hey can I get a death note matchup please? if not thats fine! <3 Romantic please! I would prefer men if thats okay!

Female, she/her, ExFJ 2w3, Leo

Personality:

I am pretty social, however I prefer to spend time alone! I care about others a lot… To an unhealthy amount honestly but I'm working on it! I love to help others and make them smile, but I do wish I would get something for being so nice in return, yeah it might sound greedy but I want to be appreciated! And get something nice haha, like just a compliment or something, when my helping and kindness gets unnoticed I might get upset because of how tired I am and I just want to be appreciated like I said before 😭 I wanted to be noticed and not ignored! I care too much about what others feel and think and it's tiring, I just want to be selfish sometimes and care about myself even if it sounds mean. I also love being mentioned/involved in things, it makes me feel liked <3

People call me funny! Well it all depends because everyone has a different sense of humor! But I am most of the time unserious and I love to joke around, serious situations are stressful so I prefer to be joyful, but I do like talking about serious topics (sometimes) Like I said before I love to make people smile and laugh with my jokes and overall with make them happy with presence. It's my job to make others happy <3

My humor is definitely not for everyone, it's mostly the humor of a 12 y/o kid which can be annoying to some people lmao (sometimes it's funny how people are annoyed by it) and some other things depending on how I feel. When it comes to annoyance I also like to annoy people <3 it's so fun! But I never want to make them really feel bad! Often I act like an asshole but this is just for jokes! (but sometimes I wanna be a real asshole lmao) Like I said I don't want them to actually feel bad, if I do, I will feel very guilty! When it comes to it I apologize A LOT, I apologize so much that it might too annoying but I always feel a sense of guilt inside of me. I'm also VERY sensitive and worry about everything. Ah and I'm pretty dumb and I am not trying to insult myself I am just silly hehe and I'm okay with that. Oh and Im clumsy 😭😭

People know that I am horny 24/7, like I said earlier I have a humor of a 12 y/o so there are a lot of sex jokes. I am very interested in nsfw things, kinks etc, I am the "horny" friend

Likes/Dislikes:

I LOVE LOVE horror and scary things, I can't imagine my life without it, its just a such interesting genre that makes me happy and intrigued! I adore horror games and I'm mostly interested in them, however most of the time I am scared of playing them so I just watch gameplays and stuff like that haha. You can say I am obssesed with horror! (its funny because its easy to scare me haha)

I love to eat food <3 especially sweet things

I also love cute things! Plushies, pink, clothes and other cute things! I just love it so much <3

I like games very much (I suck at them), art, anime, drawing and psychology! When it comes to music I love energetic ones!

I dislike slow music but there can be some exceptions.

I dislike cooking (I love when someone knows to cook however I suck at it

Appearance:

Around 156 cm height

Chubby

brown eyes

chin length hair with bangs

round glasses

If thats too much info then I apologize! O_O

Have a nice day/night and thank you!

Fandom: Death Note

Mello!! (Romantic)

(Now apologises because I haven't read Death Note in a hot minute [Like four years] so if I get anything wrong my dearest apologises. I'm going to re-read it anyways.) Also!! All of this information is greatly appreciated because it was easy for me to pair you with someone and come up with head cannons!!

Now I was gonna pair you with L at first, but you mentioned your humour and high sex drive and L seems like the type of guy to be too busy to find your humour funny, and deal with your high libido.

Mello on the other hand fits you perfectly. (Last I remember he's extroverted.)

Mello would most defiantly appreciate your company. He strikes me as a touchy person, so he'd always have his hand on your hip/arm/waist.

Does this in front of everyone too.

He has little to no shame.

"Give me your hand. Ok and? Let them watch I want my girlfriend's hand."

He defiantly thinks your glasses are adorable!!

Might steal them to try them out too...

"Ooooh... blurry... ok headache ack- here you take them."

Your humour defiantly eases the mood, and tension when it comes to finding Kira (Maybe Matsuda would be a good fit for you too? Ahhh I have to re-read Death Note so badd つ﹏⊂)

Finds your clumsiness cute too!! And very very funny...

"Watch it. You'll trip." and then trips you and giggles when you start yelling at him for it. "What! I warned ya."

The kind of guy to pull you away to kiss your lips and then get really flushed. Or, alternatively; make out with you in front of everyone and not care. Really depends on the mood.

"Come here. I want to kiss you. So what if everyone's watching. I don't care."

Would 100% play horror games with you!! He strikes me as the player while you sit there and cheer him on. Or scream in his ear.

"Don't fucking- Where did it go- where- oh there it is. You can let go of my arm- wait pause. What was that. No I swear I saw something. The fuck do you mean you can't see it?! It was right there!!"

He could be having the most serious conversation ever and you're sitting there, doodling on his arm, or on paper next to him.

He let's you draw all over him. Might start calling you his 'mini tattoo artist'.

It's not the same when he's talkiing about work and the feeling of the pen/marker isn't dragging across his skin.

"Look I drew us as cats! Do you like it?"

"I would kill for you."

Oh, my goddd he LOVES how chubby you are!!! Thinks that you are so soft to layy onnnn. Please let him lay on your thighs while he eats his chocolate and play with his hair <3

"Come here. I want to lay on you. You're really soft."

He would share his chocolate with you.

"Just one bite- like a nibble- no that's too much- back up a little- yea ok you can have that much- Wh- That wasn't a nibble!!"

Oh, you two bicker and get into so many playful arguments for no reason other than to watch the other get more annoyed. (And maybe release some pent-up energy?)

"Keep fucking talking and we'll really see what that mouth is good for."

Defiantly buys you leather jackets, gloves whatever to dress you up.

Thinks you look amazing in his style of clothes.

"Is that my... jacket? No no... you can wear it..."

Cannot get enough of you and your body or your kisses, to him they taste better than any chocolate.

Even better, get chocolate flavoured lip gloss/Chapstick or just eat some chocolate from his stash beforehand (try not to get caught!!) and then kiss him.

Watch him melt and moan out in pure bliss.

And here he thought you couldn't taste any better.

Thank you sooo much for requesting love <33 This was so much fun to do and lights up my day!! Please do stick around and scream about your f/os in my inbox!! You're always welcome lovely!! (I definatly didn't type this up on my way to school on the bus nope!!)

[ilargizuri]

The Long Night

What I really hated about the Show is that the so-called "Long Night" and the so-called "Long Winter" lasted a few weeks in the Show, when every person who knows something about winter told us in the Books, that it would be a long Winter. Like VERY, VERY Long.

I just saw a Video on YouTube that theorized about the period of the Long Night and they said that it is possible that GRRM actually plans a really long Night where his Characters will grow into adults and do some really important things. Rikkon could be a Man at the End of the Story, Bran be a real King at the Age of his Father, etc.

Now what annoyed me, again, about this Video, is that the Creator also thought that Daenerys and Jon would become real Lovers during that Winter. This is a possibility if Daenerys wants to sit out Winter with her Dragons in the North, sewing Clothes, Blankets and such Stuff near the Hearth with Sansa. And actually govern a community through this Winter, but Govern, is not what Daenerys wants or enjoys or even envisions when she thinks about her Future, because most of the time her "Plans" only include going to Westeros and winning the Iron throne with Fire and Blood!

So Daenerys won't sit at the Fire and wait until Springs comes and the Deep, Deep Snow will melt, actually, That deep, deep Snow will be the Reason the North won't be able to aid her in her War for the Iron Throne if that part is not already over. Because it would take months to get through this Snow, not to mention that the North is low on Supplies, so most likely the soldiers would starve to death, if they tried to march South. So if Daenerys comes North helping them to fight the Others, then it is very likely that the Armies of Daenerys, will starve and freeze to death.

Recently I discovered the explanation about Jon being the Mummers Dragon, which makes some Sense. And Quaithe warns Daenerys to not trust that Person. but so far those People she shouldn't trust were never actively against Daenerys. Tyrion (The Lion) comes to Daenerys's Aid, The Kraken wants to be Daenerys's new Husband, and the perfumed Seneshall is probably Varys, but he isn't planning actively against Daenerys, just not for her. So in general, it is possible that if Jon is the Mummers Dragon, he isn't even actively against Daenerys, so the stabby scene most likely won't happen. BUT Jon mentioned in his Godd Bye Scene with Arya, in the Books, when she gets Needle (I think it was there, but it could be earlier not sure) That they will find Arya in the Snow frozen to Death with Needle in her Hand. So the Picture he paints here, is that they find a Girl/Woman in the Snow, with her Weapon of Choice frozen to Death.

Let's just pretend the War for the Iron Throne is before the War for the Dawn, I mean the book series is not called "Game of Thrones" it is called: "A Song of Ice and Fire." So the War for the Dawn is probably more important than the Squibble-squabble over an uncomfortable Iron Chair. So the Big Final Fight in the Books is most likely against the Others. So IF Daenerys comes North because of Jon and he is the Mummer Dragon, then his Wish for her and aid the North in his War against the Others is what will be Daenerys's Fall. He doesn't even have to do much, all he has to do is win the War and stay in the North when Daenerys goes back too early because it is even colder than when they arrived, she may threaten Sansa and the Starks when they try to stop her for her own Good. But Daenerys doesn't listen, and freezes to Death on her way back to her Throne, And when Spring comes they find a Woman frozen to Death with the Weapon of her Choice, a Dragon. She dies without Issue and a Big Counsel is called to choose a new King, which then either results in the separation of the Seven Kingdoms and Bran becomes King in the North, and so on.

Jon can still become a Stark, still being together with Sansa, maybe even Married to her. They become Lord and Lady of a Castle and Rikkon can still become whatever he wants to be. It is a possibility. Also, Bran could be older than he was in the Show when Winter is over because the Winter in the books will last longer than one Night.

[oliviaslabyrinth]

GomBurZa

I’m not familiar with the life story of Gomburza, aside from being the inspiration for Jose Rizal to write El Filibusterismo. It was probably the reason why I was able to enjoy the movie despite already knowing how it would end.

It was great to be able to know the story of the three priests that I only learned in passing during my school days. It was only through the movie that I found out some interesting facts about the priests, like their having Spanish ancestry, their ages when they died, and the moment that led to their execution. I should have done my research, I know. I should have been more informed about our national heroes, and spending my college years abroad is not an excuse for not knowing these facts. Didn’t you learn it in high school? To be honest, I don’t remember. I was more familiar with the lives of other notable heroes, like Gregorio Del Pilar, Andres Bonifacio, and, of course, Jose Rizal.

Going back to the film, I believe Cedrick Juan was a good choice for the role of Burgos, despite Enchong Dee being a more popular actor. He wasn’t a familiar face, so it wasn’t difficult for me to see him as Fr. Burgos. Unlike Piolo, despite having a remarkable role as Padre Pedro Pelaez, I only saw Piolo Pascual. It also didn’t help that I watched Mallari before watching Gomburza. 

Cedrick’s brilliant portrayal of Padre Burgos gave the character a separate identity away from Gomburza. He wasn’t just a martyr priest; he was a hero, at least in the eyes of his fellow priests, parishioners, and his students, who also tried to fight for equal rights for secular priests.

Padre Gomez was the true epitome of a martyr. Being the oldest, he became the solace of the younger priests, consoling them instead of wasting his time proving his innocence. He willingly accepted his fate and entrusted everything to the Lord. He reminded me of Jesus Christ. To be fair, he was already 72. He had lived a fruitful life and endured enough that he was almost ready to leave (it was still not fair to die that way, though). while Fr. Burgos and Fr. Zamora were only in their thirties. While life may not be ideal, no one’s ready to die that young. 

I wish I could find more information about the life of Fr. Zamora. The movie didn’t do him justice. Despite the great performance of Enchong Dee, I felt like Fr. Zamora was treated unfairly both by the Spaniards and the scriptwriter.

Fr. Zamora did not even have the opportunity to say his last words. He was already lifeless, even before he was executed. Being accused of something you didn’t do could cause trauma, let alone be sentenced to death for it.

It reminded me of that time when my third grade teachers embarrassed me in front of the other students and teachers. Two of my classmates fought because of a game. It was one of those stupid games where you would hit the person next to you, and he would pass it on to the person next to him. It was popular at the time, so it wasn’t the first time we played it. I was the unlucky person sitting between my two classmates. As I was busy drawing, I was absentmindedly “passing” the message to the other guy until I got annoyed and stopped. I had no idea what happened after I left them, minding my own business. Before I knew it, they were already hitting each other for real. Our class adviser was called, and my history teacher came too (I’m still confused about why she needed to be there), and they felt that someone should take the blame, and they both decided it would be me because the two were already hysterically crying and mentioning my name, putting the blame on me. For goodness’ sake, I didn’t tell those two morons to kill each other. How did it become my fault? They were the ones who were disturbing me in the first place. 

I wasn’t given the opportunity to explain my side, and the angry face of my teacher interrogating me made me a coward. I was a pushover and never had the courage to defend myself back then. I just accepted the unfair treatment and moved on. But I still think of it now, still upset and crying for justice. Before that incident, I dreamed of becoming a teacher, but I had already lost trust in teachers, so I decided to take a different path. This memory came back when I watched the life of Fr. Zamora.

Out of the three, I pity Fr. Zamora the most. He was the most innocent among the priests and was included in the execution because of bad luck. Some even questioned if he deserved the recognition. He only became a martyr due to a wrong timing. But a martyr is someone who became a sacrificial lamb for a supposedly greater good. Fr. Zamora is a martyr. He didn’t need to have a motive to be worthy of the recognition. His death symbolizes the injustices during the Spanish era and how unfair life was. He was a victim of the cruelty of the Spanish government, and his death provoked the Filipino people to rebel against the government. 

The actor who played Carlos María de la Torre was another great casting. He looked straight out of a history book, and he resembled the real governor-general a lot. His scenes were some of my favorites. He was a beacon of hope to the Filipinos and even to me as a viewer, at least for a short while, only to be let down.

If Fr. Gomez is Jesus Christ, Dela Torre is Pontius Pilate. His actions, though, were understandable. He was still a Spaniard and was put in a difficult spot. There was a limit to one’s generosity, and he wasn’t willing to risk his life for the Filipinos, who themselves were not willing to fight for their own nation. Besides, what can he do? Next to the highest leader of Spain, the King, his power is nothing. 

I can’t even talk about Francisco Zaldua, played by Ketchup Eusebio. I want to feel bad for him, being the fall guy of his rich amigos but I would like to think he got his karma.

It was nice to have a glimpse of Paciano’s life, as I only knew him as Jose Rizal’s brother. In the movie, Paciano brought a young Rizal to witness the execution. Although I read somewhere that the scene was merely fiction, Rizal was not present when the priests were executed. The ending showed an already older Rizal writing El Filibusterismo. At least in the movie, it gave a clear perspective on why Rizal dedicated El Filibusterismo to the martyrs and why he spent his life fighting for freedom. He witnessed the cruelty of the Spaniards at a young age. While kids today are watching TikTok videos, he was watching three innocent priests being executed publicly. 

Despite being a historical movie, it didn’t have a lot of brutal scenes. Even the execution was brief, which is fine, I guess, as the story was tragic enough.

Gomburza made me realize why the Catholic Church still plays a relevant role in the Philippines today. The Catholic Church is not just a major religion but a part of our history. Although it was used as a weapon to further enslave the indios, the secular priests contributed greatly to the Philippine Revolution. 

One of the unforgettable scenes that stuck with me was the conversation between Archbishop Gregorio Martinez and Governor General Rafael Izquierdo. The archbishop said in Spanish,

“Karamihan sa mga indiyo ay hindi magrerebelde. Dahil tayo, ang simbahan, ang nagturo sa kanilang maging masunurin.”

We see history repeating itself everyday. Some churches, not only Catholics, using the Bible to make people submit to church rules, while extorting them using emotional manipulation, which is why it’s important to know our history. 

[teyvats-worst-hero]

My final thoughts on Penacony Part 1:

I think they did really well conveying the resort aspect of it at the very beginning, it literally reminded me of the terrible tourist culture where I live. I think I would’ve appreciated more love given to the lobby instead of… a really long hallway…

In the Golden Hour, I like how gilded age it looks! Morally dubious stuff everywhere: Dreamphones, billboards that chase you, SoulGlad at every corner, everything. Really sells how consumerist Penacony is, how corrupt.

But I also wish the billboards didn’t chase you every time you walked by. It raises my anxiety by 21%.

The notes I’m finding around the map are super disturbing, and this kind of worldbuilding really suits Penacony. Everything is so bright and perfect that you pay no mind to the danger in plain sight.

The enemies are really well done, it’s all so toy-like, so theoretically non threatening. And the battle theme fucking SLAPS, I love it. The TV enemy scares me shitless though. Too human-like in an uncanny valley way, but really too monkey-like. Don’t ask me. I don’t know. My primitive brain keeps screaming “MONKEY! RUN! DANGER!”

They did a really good job with not making any one person seem entirely on our side, everyone seems to have their own motivations without them being overwritten by someone they just met. They have some secrets and I like that. I also like that they interact with each other. Makes it feel so much more real and like things are happening outside of the protagonist, and we’re a faction of our own. Not some impossibly perfect neutral entity that NEVER has allegiances no siree (Cough cough Genshin Impact)

I like how things are mostly left to the player to think about. There’s no “I knew you weren’t Robin because your singing voice was weird!” to spell out earlier foreshadowing. God I hate when stories spell out foreshadowing. No one is telling me to be weirded out by things aside from the game’s INSISTENCE that Sampo is EVIL and NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

Some things I don’t like?

Black Swan.

I really dislike how she’s written overall. She just shows up and starts dommy-mommying the story and has a little “betrayal” moment that happens too fast for any importance to be attached. She’s like. Budget Kafka. I’m annoyed by how often she talks down to the player without ever actually feeling like a person who’d do that, like Sparkle or Aventurine, so it just sounds… Forced. Out of place. Obligatory. Her entire character is being a sexy plot device. Maybe she’ll get a personality, but as it stands, she doesn’t have one. Fight me.

This mission also has a problem with assuming you care deeply about characters you’ve strolled around with for 30 minutes. Now I’m not saying it’s bad to treat the characters like they have emotional weight regardless, that’s a good thing, but when your big plot beats rely on that weight to throw punches, it falls flat.

You run around with Firefly for a little bit. Cute. But very surface level.

You have a beautiful moment with her talking about her chronic illness. That’s great, if you saw my previous posts you know I got very introspective over it.

You go into the dream world and ALMOST die.

You go into the dream world again two minutes later and she ACTUALLY dies, and you immediately move onto the plot and another death that fully overshadows any plot or emotional significance of Firefly.

But NO my friends, she isn’t ACTUALLY dead, she’s something something Sam?

It just feels cheap. If they’re using Black Swan as the catch-all mysterious plot device, they’re using Firefly like tears in a can. Legitimately what would change if Firefly just… didn’t die there? If we just saw Sam and the shadows of Firefly, but couldn’t find her after? Is the point to make it seem like she isn’t Sam? Cause that’s a super cheap and unnecessary trick.

Back to the ending though. I really like the reveal of Robin’s death, it feels super weighty for the plot and the setup and payoff of Sparkle is excellent. I have no idea what’s going on with Misha. Probably some kind of descendant of the Watchmaker, maybe he’s split in two. One in the real world one in the dream. Misha and Mikhail perhaps?

Overall, really interested in this story. Good job Hoyoverse.

[sir-sillybunny]

i have never been so deeply disappointed in a story's ending as i was with this game

it was such an amazing beautiful game. there were so many very intriguing mysteries that had very satisfying answers. it was just so amazing and i was ready to consider it one of my favorite games of all time but then after the end of like chapter 5 i think it just all went downhill.

the story just went in a direction that felt really like boring? and just kind of forced. it started to feel less like i was reading a real story and more like i was a reading a fanfic of the story. like a fix it fix. it was nice to see the characters get a chance at getting fixed but just? idk. their motivations behind what they did were already obvious. we had already seen their personalities and what lives they led before in the first 3 doors. we did not need to it again. it was just the same story again except the characters were wearing costumes. and i slighlty disagree with the message it was trying to push. i understand that revenge is often not worth it and only serves to hurt you more if you seek it and i understand that everyone should get a chance at a new life to change for the better. but i dont believe that morgana was wrong for hating those men as deeply as she did. i agree that she shouldnt have cursed them, to that degree at least. but she had every right to hate them and to want terrible things to happen to them. idk. it was just so frustrating to have to sit through michel talk for hours with morganas murders and sympathize with them about what they did to her. all while knowing that morgana, the girl they were leting fucking die in a locked room, was upstairs from him slowly dying.

i get that the 3 men had the keys to free her but he didnt have to spend as much time with them as he did. the fact that he spent so much time talking with them made him too late to save her and she died anyway. which i guess it wasnt real anyway, he couldnt have actually saved her. but still. she deserved his attention and care more than any of them ever did. all she wanted was someone to save her. she didnt need to understand her murderers stories, she didnt need to feel any sympathy for them. i think if she was saved by someone before she died she wouldnt have turned into the witch after death.

and also????????? why is no one talking about how fucking creepy and literally pedophilic it was that the original jacopo was in love with morgana???????????? when she was 12 and he was 21?????????????????? that happened multiple times in the story. weird age gap relationships that are not at all presented as bad. the first times i noticed it i could chalk it up to trying to being historical accurate or something but that last one was just too much. jacopo literally said he had a crush on a 12 year old girl and that he would "wait for her." until she turned 18. which he didnt even do btw. he told her he was in love with her when she was 16, and attempted to do it before then. it was just gross and completely and utterly unnecessary to add to the game. also im remembering that earlier in the game the player gets asked which of a group of 3 girls he fancies and you had the option to say he fancied one of the girls who was 14 years old !! just so unnecessary to add and so creepy. this game came out in 2012, its not like it would have been normal to think that was okay.

another thing that weirded me out is that giselle in her normal character sprite had a normal sized chest and her dress wasnt all that revealing. but in every cg her tits were huge and basically completely out. in every single cg. theres nothing wrong with that if it was simply part of her style and looks. but it wasnt like that in her character sprite. it took away from the cgs and was just annoying.

it just sucks because up until that point it was such a good game. the music was beautiful, the story was so so good, it was all just so good. but i really wish the game ended when when saw morganas real body for the first time. it should have ended with a big long conversation or something. but instead it was another several hours of gameplay after that about forcing yourself into morganas memories and sympathizing with the men who killed her. it just sucked. even ignoring me disagreeing with the moral of it, it was just bad. we learned nothing in that chapter. every single major thing that got revealed about the mens motivations for what they did was already completely obvious. it just felt like they were trying to make the game longer. and after that the ending i honestly couldnt even pay attention to. i skipped through half of it. which maybe there was some super amazing dialouge in there that compeltely magically fixes all the stuff from before but i doubt it lol. either way the pedophila was still gross. so im deeply disapointed either way.

i spent 30 hours in that game and im never getting them back lmao

[aetheternity]

I got to finish playing through Fontaine today! Here are my thoughts cause a while ago ya'll loved hearing me speak on things. (Spoilers under the cut obviously)

~ Lyney and Lynette 🥺 I didn't expect to love them as much as I do 😭😭 (Freminet too though I liked him as soon as I saw him) though I do find it annoying how much slack the fandom has allowed those two to get seeing as they both lied to the Traveler and put them on the spot during an important trial. Traveler thought of them as good friends and decided to support the two of them out of the kindness of their hearts because Lyney helped them out previously only to find out they'd hidden a possible trail breaking secret if Furina hadn't mentioned it they probably still wouldn't have said anything the only reason they did was because they got cornered. If we're being real Traveler could've just walked away right after that confession but they not only stayed but made sure that Lyney and Lynette would not get charged for something they had nothing to do with. Traveler doesn't have to be friends with literally any of the people they encounter and that includes Lyney and Lynette. Just cause ya'll love them doesn't mean Traveler has to as well a sad backstory doesn't make up for betrayal and in regards to people who keep bringing up Traveler being buddy buddy with Childe. Childe has A, been in the story way longer, B, Traveler knows who Childe is and despite how close ya'll think they are Traveler is wary of him too. A couple updates ago he was making sure to warn Yomiya not to put all her trust in Childe let's stop acting like Traveler loves Childe and thinks he can do no wrong in comparison to Lyney and Lynette. Traveler just knows what Childe is capable of in comparison to Lyney and Lynette who they've known for what like two days.

~ Never has an NPC's death shaken me that hard before. In any game! I literally went 😦 when that cutscene played.

~ It was so amazing getting to find evidence and pick apart details of this case then have Neuvillette explain the whole situation out in full to the audience again. I especially enjoyed the drawings of each scene from different characters perspectives.

~ Furina is my girlfailure wife and she has been placed under Venti for second favorite archon. 💕💕 She's so bratty, cute and dramatic I wanna breed her 😩

~ I was not expecting to like Neuvillette and Navia as much as I do now! Especially Navia who I adore whole heartedly now that's a girlboss.

~ Every time she started crying I wanted to hold her.

Honestly this region was perfect for me. I love mysteries and I rarely ever found myself uninterested or bored with the story like I have with every other nation. I love Navia's character, her relationship with Traveler treating them like her partner and relying on them the way she did while also keeping them safe was so so cute and sweet and if I could draw I'd draw the Traveler I picked (Aether) with Navia as partners in detective work (Sorry Heizou you've been replaced..) I can't get enough of Furina and I can't wait for her first story quest, the leaks of her playstyle and more from her. I wanna see what kinds of things she says to her people outside of the courtroom/opera house. I wanna see her more vulnerable side shine out a bit more often. I wanna hear every voiceline she has more than once. I'm normal about her.. (I spent all night thinking about how gorgeous she is..) I want her. I hope Lynette gets a hangout soon she's so cute but I do think she needs more personality outside of her brothers.

Fontaine is also so so beautiful 😍 the underwater mechanic is surprisingly not as annoying as I thought it would be to navigate though I do find it a little annoying that we can't fight using our characters skills. I get why I just don't like it. I wish we'd spent more time in the underground because it's amazing and the way it all looks is so impressive also wish we could buy food and things from the vendors down there.

I beg of Hoyo to give the Fontaine characters even half as much screen time as the Sumeru gang cause I have to say I am far more interested in all the Fontaine characters with only one patch of them then I ever have been with the Sumeru mfers.

[seasaltmemories]

17, 24, and 25 for the choose violence ask game!!!

there should be more of this type of fic/art

I am usually not the type to tell ppl what they should create so take this as my personal taste but genuinely I would love more divorce/break-up fic that doesn't demonize any particular person

Like yeah these are harrowing events that often leave ppl hurt and betrayed, but looking into why a relationship fails can be just as interesting as why it works

A big problem I know is the idea that these would be inherently anti-whatever ship but really when I found a divorce fic for my otp I was excited. Honestly my big let down was the scathing critique was "they were too young to get married" rather than digging into their actual relationship

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Comphet fictional discourse. Genuinely a real thing, but ppl give way too much credit to cishet creators who have never heard of Adrienne Rich. Like I don't trust anything that doesn't already have five separate queer characters already to actually get into such a complex topic. If they can't write a normal straightforward gay relationship, then they ain't even thinking of comphet.

And headcanons are headcanons, go wild, but the justifications some people will use for them often act like you can't be truly attracted to anyone unless they are you're one true love. It turns the vast complexity of queer experience into a little white picket fence nuclear family ideal. At worst you get annoying shipping wars where "oh this long term relationship with their love interest doesn't actually mean anything bc they aren't married with 2.5 kids to" to genuine vile abuse rhetoric like, "sexual and domestic violence doesn't happen if you are capable of being attracted to someone"

TLDR: HC Utena as a comphet lesbian all you want, but if you argue that if she was bisexual she wouldn't be actually harmed by Akio grooming and assaulting her, you are evil.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Ppl acting like the only media options are big name corporate franchises or fanfic. Fanfic can be fun and meaningful without it being the only bastion of marginalized experiences. That's so much pressure to put on ppl's silly little stories and it ignores the wealth of small time creators who are putting their heart and soul into original stories across every medium

Please just don't rely on what trends on twitter or shows up on your dash. Some of my most transformative media experiences have been bc I took a chance on a book/show with a cool cover. I've found out stories of intense familial abuse and recovery using the Arthurian mythos, horror stories about a young girl and her gay brother-in-law both being haunted by the death of her older brother in different harrowing ways, surrealistic art-pieces about family and what makes it worth returning to, and quiet meloncholy domestic stories that use magic to show both the pain of being othered, but the join in finding community that does support you.

And I am not even intentionally seeking out indies particularly often! So many people are creating the art you wish to see already, you just got to go out searching for them

[ravs6709]

All This Love (I'll Show You How It Feels)- Ambiguous Kam

Word count: 2.8k words

To ink @soryasongsaa !!! Happy late birthday! Have some kam fake dating shenanigans because it hit my brain and I couldn't not write it <3 it was fun as hell to write and I hope you enjoy it just as much

Also he/they keefe!!!

Warnings: swearing, and vaguely suggestive scene except it'd also just crack

•~•~•~•~•~•

Tam thought that it'd been a perfectly normal day. It had been a perfectly normal day. It was 11 p.m., he was in his room and had no reason to interact with anyone, so really, the day should have ended completely normal.

And then there was a knock on his window.

(Oh, of course when the window mesh was damaged, that's when all the nonsense happened.)

He grabbed some old, heavy as hell, textbook in one hand and opened the curtains with the other, then the window, ready to knock the intruder to the ground.

When he saw a glimpse of messy blond hair, he nearly smacked the intruder out of instinct, but barely managed to refrain.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked Keefe, who was casually sitting on the narrow ledge of Tam's window. "Give me a reason to not just shove you off."

Keefe guffawed. "Bangs Boy, is this a death threat?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not a long fall."

(...he would know, he accidentally fell out one time when he was younger.)

He raised an eyebrow. "A favour."

"Ugh, fine, I have a favour. Can't let me be dramatic in peace."

They nodded. "A favour. Unless you want me to go to Linh instead-"

Tam yanked them by the arm and pulled them in. "Do not." Ignoring Keefe's yelp, he continued. "You want me to do some last minute assignment due tomorrow?"

They rolled their eyes. "I wish. I'd have just gone to Fitzy. Unfortunately, I can only ask this of you, because I'm in a much, much more dire-"

"Get on with it. You're interrupting my sleep."

They laughed. "Sleep? You were just gonna stay up until 2am playing a gacha game."

Keefe scowled briefly, then their features shifted into that really annoying expression they got when they were planning something. "Be my boyfriend."

Tam blinked. The expression on their face didn't change. The clock on his wall kept ticking.

"What?"

"Be my boyfriend," Keefe repeated, as if this wasn't the most inane thing they'd ever said, and they'd said some really inane things over the two years that Tam has known them for.

"I know what you said. But let me repeat myself. What."

Their expression schooled into something serious, and Tam decided he wasn't going to throw them out of his window.

"It's fake dating, not a real relationship," they said, "just to clarify."

Never mind. The window was back to being appealing.

"Why."

They shrugged. "To piss off my dad?"

Tam sighed. "Alright, fine, that's understandable. Why the hell are you asking me? You know Sophie would be down for pissing him off."

"I know. But Daddy Dearest himself said I should get a girlfriend."

Tam scrunched his face in disgust. "He actually told you that?"

"It was so awkward, I didn't even know how to snark my way out of what."

"Okay, fine. A boyfriend. Fitz?"

"And interrupt whatever weird Fitzphie pining is going on?" They scoffed. "Another reason I can't date Foster, by the way."

He nodded. "Dex?"

Their expression went serious again. "For... personal reasons, I can't. So really, that leaves you, Bangs Boy, as my final and only candidate." They sighed dramatically. "So. Be my boyfriend?"

He raised an eyebrow. "How does this work? Do I go to your dad's house and hold your hand? Kiss you on the cheek?"

They both grimaced at that. Yeah, no.

"Uhhh, it'd be nice if it were that simple. We gotta like, do a full pretense. Date at school and all that."

He narrowed his eyes. "You want the whole school to know we're dating?"

They nodded. "Yeah, and our friends should believe it too."

"Why the fuck do they have to believe it's real?"

They waved a hand. "They're shit at keeping secrets. You know this. Daddy Dearest is also great at sensing lies, so the less people to lie to him, the better."

This went from mildly annoying to getting on his nerves. "You're annoying."

This was insane. He had to pretend to date Keefe, and make it believable to his friends. He had to fool Linh. "I'm not kissing you."

They gagged. "Ew, hell no. Are you stupid? Who needs to flaunt kissing to prove they're a couple? Bangs Boy, you read too many romance novels."

"Shut up, or I won't date you."

"...you were going to agree this fast?"

"No," he lied.

Obviously he didn't actually want to date Keefe, but they clearly didn't want to do it either, seeing as he was a last (and only) resort. The fact that they actually came to him meant that this was at least kind of serious.

"How long is this supposed to last?"

"I'm gonna move out once I start college. Then give it another month or so, we can break up saying the distance was too much for us."

Tam had to say, for how impulsive and absolutely reckless this fake dating thing sounded, it sounded like they'd thought a lot of this through.

He weighed the pros and cons of this in his head.

Cons: he had to fake date Keefe. He'd have to swallow his pride and be a little affectionate towards them. He'd have to be believable. Keefe would make fun of him. Linh would tease the hell out of him. His parents wouldn't be the happiest with him when they found out.

Pros: He'd have to watch Keefe swallow their pride in order to be affectionate. And they were a very physically affectionate person. He'd get to make fun of them back. He could say he got a boyfriend before Linh could get herself a girlfriend (it was fake and they came to him but that didn't matter). His parents wouldn't actually do anything, might send a few judgemental looks, but he'd long learned to not care about those. He didn't even have to worry about the breakup story.

"How are we going to convince our friends we're in love?" Tam asked. "We hate each other."

To his utter surprise, their face turned red. "Um. There's a non-zero chance that at least one of our friends think I have a thing for you."

"What."

"Weird conversation in a groupchat for that gacha game Linh plays. Denying it made it worse."

"What."

"And since Marella and Biana play it too, they might actually be convinced too-"

"What."

"It is not my fault if I think a fictional character who happens to look like you is hot-"

Tam put a hand over their mouth. "Please," he said, his voice oddly strained to his ears, "shut up."

Keefe nodded, their face growing warm to the touch. Tam removed his hand, and Keefe scowled at him. "We never speak of this again."

Tam nodded sagely.

•~•~•~•~•~•

So that conversation had happened on Sunday night, and now it was Monday morning, and Tam had to go to school. It felt like a blessing now more than ever that they were in different grades, because it meant they only saw each other at lunch or at the school's strings ensemble.

When lunch came, Keefe was at the lunch table already, so he just sat beside him.

Linh raised an eyebrow, and sat opposite of him. "Strange."

Marella, who sat beside her shrugged. "If it means they won't play footsies again, I'll take it."

Tam glanced at Keefe, wondering if this was a good opportunity to say something, but the idea of a public announcement of dating was so weird. How do you even make that kind of announcement when neither of you showed interest in the other?

(Well, ignoring... what Keefe had said. That didn't count.)

He had no desire to kiss him on the lips, a cheek kiss was less weird but still way too excessive. Handholding was probably not a bad idea, but when it came to the two of them, it seemed too quick, too fast.

Keefe kicked his foot. Tam kicked it back. The angle was weird because they were sitting beside each other instead of on opposite sides, but clearly, that wasn't stopping Keefe.

"They're at it again," Biana said, from where she was sitting beside Keefe.

When Keefe's foot knocked into his again, Tam hooked his ankle around Keefe's. He glanced at him from his peripheral vision, and noted the almost wide-eyed look. It was such a minor action, but it seemed to have stunned him.

Linh hummed, looking straight at Tam, before her eyes flicked down as she leaned back, peeking under the table.

Tam hid his smile as he continued eating. Maybe this could be fun.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Well. Unlike Tam, who was going for subtlety with his under the table, before building up to something more, Keefe had no intention on that. Which, he really should have expected.

They'd been a little quiet during their group study session/hangout at the Vackers, but it wasn't until they'd slid a paper onto his notebook did he understand why.

Tam picked up the sheet of paper and looked at it. It was a sketch from a pencil, the lines smooth as it depicted a soft looking picture. A picture of Tam doing some of his work, a slight smile on his face, probably a relieved smile from when he'd managed to figure out an answer to a question earlier.

"This..." Tam began, lost on what to say.

"Felt like drawing you," they replied, as if that was a proper answer.

And if that wasn't enough, they then grabbed his hand and brought it to their cheek. For a moment, he almost thought that they'd bring his hand to their lips, but fortunately, they did not do that. "Your hand's cold," they murmured, "but it feels nice."

"You are... very shameless."

He thought that they'd struggle more to be affectionate with him. Then again, they were always one to defy expectations.

"What?" Sophie asked, and not just her, but the rest of his friends were staring at them. "Since... when?"

"It's not unexpected," Linh said neutrally, looking at Tam. "The more surprising thing is that I didn't get to know beforehand. That being said, I also want to know how long."

"Last night," Tam replied. "Came to my window like they're in some romantic drama, then confessed their undying love for me. The absolute sap."

He hid his smile as he glanced at their briefly scowling face. And because they hated being outdone, they had to add, "Well, you should've seen the look on his face. The cute blush, the wide eyes, the way his voice lowered as he told me how he hated me but still couldn't help loving me."

He glared. It wasn't as chilled as it usually was, which was a testament as to how surprisingly calm he felt. If this had been even yesterday, there was a relatively high chance of this devolving into a fistfight.

•~•~•~•~•~•

During one of Tam's grocery shopping sessions, he'd been browsing through the snack aisle. He usually only came here every once in a while to stock up on some relatively low sugar cookies. As he walked down the aisle, he spotted a certain brand of cookies.

("Bangs Boy," Keefe whined over the phone, because for some reason, Tam decided to accept his call instead of denying it like he normally did. "I'm out of cookies and the store doesn't have more in stock."

"That sounds like a you problem," Tam told him.

"Such a mean boyfriend, you are. I've got the worst boyfriend."

"Sure, sure," he said absently, because he'd been paying more attention to the show that he'd been watching before he got the phone call.)

Without thinking, he grabbed a box and tossed it into the shopping basket. He paid for his stuff and shoved it into his backpack, then walked over to Keefe's house.

He probably could just enter the front door, but at this point it was almost 9:30 p.m. and he didn't feel like coming across Keefe's dad. There was an easy to climb tree, and it was definitely easier than getting to his own window.

The mesh was attached, but the window had been opened slightly, and Tam could hear the sound of a violin playing.

Now, he was no stranger to Keefe's playing, he heard it every time during their strings ensemble club meeting. He was even familiar with Keefe playing to only him. But there had always been an audience, and when there was an audience, there was always the need to play a certain way.

He couldn't see Keefe at this moment, but he could imagine the lack of tension in his posture, could imagine closed eyes as he immersed himself fully.

On your own, when there was no one to hear other than yourself, there was a lack of restraint, there was a vulnerability. He knew it from hearing Linh play cello, but hearing it from Keefe, it was...

The flash of a camera blinded him.

"You look like a creep, staring from my window," Keefe said.

"You play well," Tam blurted.

His mouth parted into a small gape, and Tam had expected a reply of 'obviously' or 'you finally admit it, Bangs Boy?' but he didn't say anything, eyes wide.

"Soo, why are you here?" Despite the words, he took down the mesh and let Tam in. "Surely it wasn't to act like a creepy stalker."

Tam pulled out the box of cookies and threw it at him, annoyed by the ease of which he caught it.

"Oh my god, a present?" Keefe gasped dramatically. "I've changed my mind. You're the best boyfriend!"

"Don't expect this to happen often. I just happened to be shopping."

Still though, Keefe was grinning, ice blue eyes gleaming, as he hastily opened the box and took out a pack. "Thanks, Bangs Boy!" There was a sense of genuine happiness, none of that smugness, none of that bravado, and it wasn't often that Tam was the one to make him that happy.

While Keefe was busy pleasantly eating his cookies, Tam snatched his phone out of his pocket.

"Hey, what the hell—hah, you don't know my password!"

Tam quickly entered his fingerprint—because he'd managed to sneak it on and was saving it for an important moment—and he opened the photos app.

Upon realizing this, Keefe tackled him. They both fell on to the bed.

"When the hell did you get your fingerprint on?"

"I'm not telling you."

They wrestled on the bed for the phone. Their hands fumbled as they aggressively grabbed at each other.

"Delete that picture."

"Hell no!"

They continued wrestling, as Tam managed to pin him down on the bed. It was only when Keefe stopped struggling when he realized the position that they were in.

And then the door opened.

"Keefe—" the sound of Cassius Sencen's voice cut off.

And if that wasn't horrifying enough...

"Oh, dad, can't you see you're interrupting something?" Then he cupped Tam's face in his hand.

Tam didn't dare look back to actually see Cassius's face, but there was an awkward silence and then he could hear footsteps leave.

"Keefe," Tam let out a breath. He was frozen in shock. "What the fuck what that?"

He grinned. "I was planning to pretend to kiss you in front of him anyway, this could not have gone better."

"Your dad thinks you and I are..."

"Tell me it isn't hilarious."

"It is. But I'm going to be horrified anyway because what the fuck. I'm leaving. Also, delete that picture or else I'm telling Sophie about your fictional crush."

"Hey—we agreed we'd never speak of that again!"

•~•~•~•~•~•

When Tam opened his locker at school, he was not expecting a crap on of drawings of him pasted on the walls by magnets, but somehow, he wasn't surprised.

"And you call me the creepy stalker," Tam said to Keefe.

"This is revenge for you getting your fingerprint on my phone."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure you've been here before."

They sighed. "Yeah, you're right."

•~•~•~•~•~•

During lunch, Keefe had a physics test soon that they were now whining about.

"I should've dropped out," they wailed. "What if I ditch the test?"

"Hey," Tam said, leaning over to rest a hand on their head, ruffling their hair a little bit. "You'll be fine. You've done better with less studying."

Keefe relaxed into his touch, and he wondered when this became normal. Physical touch wasn't necessarily his thing, but he'd noticed that Keefe was very receptive to it. And he was more fine giving it, comparing to receiving. It even made Keefe less annoying when they got this comfortable.

This whole fake-dating thing was... kind of fun. He found he didn't mind if Keefe dragged him on random outings or showed up at his window at 11 p.m.

He didn't mind keeping up this pretense.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Kotlc taglist: @stellarune @my-swan-song @impostertamsong @subrosasteath

Want to be added/removed from the tag list? Just let me know!

[spatio-rift]

its annoying that i didnt take screenshots of fubukis convo with gouenji before entering the aliea hq and then his last conversation w atsuya but. something i never quite understood when it comes to him, anime DID and real mental illness issues aside, is why the conclusion to fubukis arc was... merging with atsuya...

they make it pretty clear the whole game that the issue is that fubuki is dealing w survivors guilt re: The Accident and blames himself for the death of his family, which escalates with the aliea stuff into believing he should have died instead of atsuya because he thinks raimon need atsuyas skills more than his.

then when he tells atsuya this, atsuya forcibly takes control and pulls a little stunt pretending to join aliea just so he could face raimon and make them aware of the problem. shirou wanting to be atsuya is a bad thing. atsuya doesnt want this for him.

again, later after that, gouenji confronts fubuki (without shooting a fireball at him, which i appreciate), and the team eventually joins in, reassuring him that he is loved and valued by them as shirou... and then we have the final conversation between atsuya and shirou, which is about shirou finally deciding to face the present and go into the future as himself, letting go of the past and atsuya....

...or so i thought? because then just like the anime we have mentions of the merge. ??? but why??? why would you spend the whole game framing shirou clinging to atsuya and wishing for atsuya to take his place permanently as a bad thing and then... say that hes only perfect and whole if atsuya is completing him...

ultimately its just an issue i personally have w this and its more about the direction of his arc than trying to be more realistic abt mental illness. sorry. but i just dont understand. without the merge i think its a pretty solid conclusion. shirou finally feels free to be himself & starts taking initiative more + the past isnt shackling him to a singular position, both showing in his switching to being a forward as fubuki shirou. etc etc.

but with the merge it just makes it feel as if fubuki REALLY wasnt enough as shirou. that he couldnt be perfect by being himself. its just kind of a weird conclusion...?

[dumblemonchickenwing]

Its theory time.. about Misao.. in 2022. My old self who loved kisao still is there in me I suppose.

I deeply apologize to people who dislike Kisao (kudoh and misao) because I toatlly understand that..

game spoilers below

 ..Kudoh was very problematic, and I totally empathise with people who hate him and believe it was his fault Misao turned out like that.

But I felt it was kind of curious, their relationship I mean. mainly Misao’s attitude toward him in the game. The theory is as follows: part of Misao still liked him despite him having betrayed her. Im not excusing him or saying its good (liking or being attached to someone who betrayed you is never good). I just thought it was interesting that it seems that maybe Misao’s feelings about him were conflicted.

In true ending, (correct me if im wrong) I assume in japan you usually go from right to left, which means Kudoh is supposedly the last one you save out of the three. And usually, the last one is marked as the most important or influential (best for last as they’d say) (although Kudoh is far, Far from good). Even if we go by that logic, it kind of fits that Saotome was the least of concern to Misao - Misao just saw her as annoying hypocrite and rival. Yoshino - Misao felt hatred toward her for all the bullying and torture she put her through (and I dont blame that her hatred was So strong). So following that logic, Misao must have had some sort of deep connection to him as well,   perhaps on a subconsious level. (his soul comes After Yoshino, the girl  who Misao had the Strongest feeliing of hatred toward so it could mean that there was something to him of the same level or even greater), 

And as it showed in yoshino’s and saotome’s graves, the beginning always showed from Misao’s point of view, and showed Her feelings, how she felt about the person who was in the grave.

Misao disliked Saotome and said she was lying and pretending to be nice to her. Yoshino was someone she Would Never Forgive, even after Aki stopped her. But Kudoh?

Misao’s flashback showed a warm and sweet memory, in contrast to other graves. And the fact that it was a childhood flashback - way back. means that she still remembers those days. Childhood friendship is no joke. actually it is a pretty strong and deep bond, even if it is not perfect.

I can understand that Misao felt deeply hurt by Kudoh’s actions (or lack of it), especially knowing they ised to be pretty much inseparable. (and  i will agree if you sai he doesnt deserve forgiveness. its fair.)

In dark world where Kudoh was stuck after death, Aki realized that those girls werent real Misao, (and it was pretty much confirmed in bonus room) which means that Misao didnt actually.. want to have revenge on him (compare his suffering to yoshino.) and she didnt say all those things to him. I think if she wanted she would have, but she didnt (it was pretty much his own self-loathing the entire time).

I think Misao did feel upset at him. but she didnt hate him that much , at least not in the same way she hated yoshino or saotome.

In the game Kudoh Was one of the victims whom Misao killed because of her grudge, but I think it was due to her not being able to move on as an evil spirit - she was filled with a lot of hatred that it darkened her heart. Kind of like when we dont think straight and can get aggressive at someone. I assume that Misao hated him but her curse made her hatred intense (ten times stronger).

The author left for players to decide if it was real Misao that met him at the end or illusion which is a shame.

And also in the game, Aki can hear Misao’s voice calling to her, but others couldnt hear Misao. However, in the moment ( in the gym class where Kudoh ended up), Kudoh could hear her voice as well. Which makes me think.. Misao probably can be heard by those who she wishes would help her. So that means that, even though she held a grudge against him, she also called out to him. That could possibly mean that part of her still trusted him and wished for him to help her. Even though she wanted him dead..yeah.

-

I dont say kisao forever, I actually grew to realize that Kudoh shouldnt be with her. He is not a monster, but he has issues (he’s entitled etc. which is not good. if he wants to be good for her he’d better get rid of that attitude or maybe move on from her.)

p.s.

...buut. I find it concerning that people are far more hateful toward Kudoh than to... Kurata. It is my personal opinion. His past is understandable but it doesnt justify the things he has done (Kurata) in my opinion. And, Kudoh is bad but he made attempt to geniunely even out his mistake and help Misao, he was sorry for what he did. But Kurata never felt sorry for what he did (and the game didnt punish him in any way, even though he did even more harm than yoshino possibly). and as it showed in bad ending, were he still alive, he’d continue his.. deeds. 

note: I dont hate Kurata fans and I wont be sending hate toward anyone who feels bad for him. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I value human life and I wont be saying you suck if you feel bad for him.

[littlemourningstar]

.

I’m scared. Terrified actually. I’ve been sick for weeks and new things keep popping up. My Covid tests have been negative which is good but it doesn’t change how my husband flinches when I cough too hard or how my neighbors must grab an extra bottle of disinfectant at the store after they hear me through the walls. It doesn’t change how I still have to be a person for everyone around me even when I’m so scared and so sick. I have to take the dog out and my husband needs groceries for lunch but I can’t drive because of the medications I’m on and my brother and sister in law have a two year old and a teething baby and need extra hands and now I don’t have hands to give them that aren’t covered in hives and so shaky I missed opening the car door three times before I got it. It doesn’t change that I’m paranoid of everything I eat and do in case I suddenly without warning developed a peanut allergy or an allergy to something else in our home and any moment I could go into shock and not have anyone to help me. My husband has to work and can’t take any more time off to take care of me and even if he could I’ve become nothing but a burden. I ask for so many little things all at once. I’ve been coughing and it’s annoying and I’m itchy so he can’t hold me and I’m stressed so I need support from him but I can’t ask that of him because I already ask for enough. I’m scared of going to bed at night because I’ll wake up covered in hives again and I’m scared to do anything but lay in bed or sit on the couch for fear I may collapse. My throat feels like it’s closing but I can breathe so that means I’m fine. I have to be fine. I’m a hypochondriac apparently so it’s obviously just stress and anxiety and not my looming death but it could be and that scares me.

My mom is too busy with my grandpa to worry about me so I just say I’m fine and my brother can say he loves having me over as much as he wants but it doesn’t change how I feel like an imposter in his home. I feel like I shouldn’t tell my niece I love her because it’s overstepping my bounds like I shouldn’t care so much about a child who isn’t mine because I made peace with not wanting kids and because I can’t have them. It would kill me if I did so I can’t.

I don’t have real friends anymore so all I have are the people I talk to online and they’re all going through other things and I’m just a burden. All the time. I can never seem to shut up when I talk about myself and I hate it I hate how much I talk about myself all the time but I just want Someone Anyone to know I exist and I’m here and I just don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to be okay again and I don’t know if I ever will be. I try so hard to be everything while simultaneously being nothing. Don’t take up space. Don’t complain. Don’t mention xyz. I’m tired. I just wish I could have a normal life.

I miss just being another weird girl in elementary school who had friends and an annoying older brother and a dad who still loved her and was still there and a mom who wasn’t as worn down by the things she’s taken on. A mom who was still emotionally attached and trying. Before I could realize I’d been abused and hurt and wasn’t safe anywhere before I’d been bullied to the point of no return before I’d ever thought about dying like it was a welcome payoff for all the suffering.

I’m so tired.

I just want to be ok.

I want to wake up without pain and sickness and grief.

If you’re reading this and concerned don’t worry yourself; I’m safe. Unless post nasal drip and hives kills.

I just wanna feel like a person again. Not a husk being held together with medications and a silly disposition.

I wish I could have seen my niece today. I miss when she calls my name and asks to play games. I hope she always loves me this much.

[lostacelonnie]

True but thats like. Part of the charm almost. All the issues. Yeah thankfully the days are lengthening again & the terrible holiday season has finally passed, which made me. So tired. Hence my response delay. Yeah they should chill but im glad that the last bit was. Easy for you? I was around my family for like. A day. & it was exhausting i can only imagine what a week takes out of you. I wish more americans were like that some guy tried to talk to me a bit at the theater yesterday when i went to see godzilla minus one & it was exhausting. Also funny story everyone at my work was so exhausted last week i said something in spanish to my co worker from el salvador & he completely did not understand because of exhaustion. Oh that pretty cool. I had to learn so that i wasn't like. Having sandwiches & ramen all the time & now im trying to find time to make my own bread so like. Slippery slope. But yeah knowing a few recipes is always a good idea. Thats always the best, having friends who are chill with quiet. Does anyone have a good school? I will believe in the process because star rail is also giving me that pain with argenti's story quest & ruan mei's swarm thing. Ah okay so antimatter legion but less controlled in a way. Oh so thats what herscherr means. How come some have like multiple herscherr forms if ive seen right? Entymology is very interesting i love it. I sure need to remember traces & such more i keep forgetting. & it shows in my multi target dps characters. Worlds worst wingwoman indeed i love her. Cant wait to get further into it & see more claire. Roguelikes are a lot of fun i enjoy them greatly. I thought they would annoy me but hades proved me wrong. Noita sounds fun ill check it out at some point. Himeko mvp of all time she better survive penacony. Whoa that's a lot of seele lore. I love her damn. Explains her a bit in star rail too. What with sea of quanta, themes of death, scythe as a weapon. Also cocolia connection. And bronya really went hard for seele damn i love her too. Are her legs being broken why she like. Uses something to hover in the game? Have any other bronya facts? Or mei? Im glad your polish post radar works so well.

it really is ADHFGLSKFKG. and god yeah FINALLY. also happy new year!!!!!! very late but still!!!!!! this was my first week back in school after the holidays [well. actually it was Two Days] but im already tired. aooougugh. but oh well! GOD. my family In General is like. Fine. i really dont mind them. but i have to stay with my grandma who is just impossible to coexist with...... luckily my mom allowed me to mostly just hang out in our room and not interact with her that much since she shares my opinion. and augh that sounds. Irritating. i enjoy being left the fuck alone. AHDKKS it really is like that........ on wednesdays we have 8 am classes with the one teacher we have that speaks Exclusively spanish so we often do a irl co op mission with the entire group if we wanna convey like literally any message to her. and oh understandable!!! im probably gonna end up the same way sjfkgj. my mom never really taught me to cook since she doesnt like to do it [which, i get it] but i personally really enjoy the process so well see how that goes. AND FOR REAL i genuinely do not believe theres such thing as a good school. or even a Normal school. also fairrrrrr i actually returned to star rail for ruan mei [<- not immune to Pretty Autistic Women] and also had trouble with the swarm boss...... actually made me update my clara build. can you believe this. but tbh i havent done argentis quest yet and im fully spoiler free so im gonna see how that goes JDJGKKSJG. and yeah!! and with multiple herrscher forms its like. usually people obtain multiple herrscher forms either in like. change in belief? approach? which lets them harness other parts of their power [or add new ones], like in the case of HoFlamescion or HoTruth; merge [HoRimestar]; or find a new external source of their power [CE HoOrigin, HoFinality]. but i dont believe its ever explained in Detail so yeah. but generally, the power of a herrscher is stored in their herrscher core, so obtaining multiple cores can give people multiple authorities [like in the case of sirin]. but as i said, typical Honkai Confusion. ETYMOLOGY IS SUPER FUN YEAH...... and for real. if manaria has 1000 fans i am one of them if manaria has 1 fan its me against the world if manaria has no fans i am dead. noita IS fun but i should warn you youre not gonna get anywhere without external guidance. i mean. Maybe you will but its gonna be frustrating as hell and near impossible. its that kind of game. but the fanbase knows that and is actually very helpful!!! solving this games secrets is a team effort. as of right now i have 63h in and 2 wins [got one today, actually! congrats, me.] but i rec it heavily. its fun. AND YES GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HI3 FANS SCARED ARE FOR HSR HIMEKO. they cant take her from us again............ AND YES SEELE. I LOVE SEELE. its actually canon she has a kind of "you are not immune to seele" aura that makes people unable to say no to her bc of just how much of a lovely person she is. and yes that is the reason bronya floats around ingame!!! AND WELL. due to the fact that bronya and mei are both a part of the Main Trio, telling you. literally Any amount of lore about them would take me way too fucking long. and im so sorry but im just mentally unable to do that. and thank you o7 polska gurom ‼‼‼‼💯💯💥🔥💥‼💯🔥💥