#I’d also be happy if they like. made him better. but s1 he was the most entitled ‘I’m a nice guy but brooding and more intelligent than

[ziracona]

I love that I originally assumed ‘it doesn’t matter who wins as long as Xavier loses’ would be a niche Wednesday take, but there’s apparently a devoted tag full of it

[hugmekenobi]

Next Steps

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @im-no-jedi

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Although your return to the Batch has made things better, there are still elements of your past you have to face...

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, made-up timeline and what I imagine what Echo will be doing, limited use of y/n, swearing, my views on mindsets, referenced 'dead' characters and nightmares, mentions/descriptions of torture, detailed scar descriptions, angst, light fluff, nickname 'sweetheart', some emotional hurt/comfort, body and general worship, Hunter being dominant but a consent king, hint of a praise kink, Smut (non-explicit descriptions of making out/kissing, grinding, edging, fingering, oral (f) receiving, overstimulation, handjob, unprotected p in v- not in reality please), reader described as strong and powerful, smart and beautiful, Force-communication and more of my general interpretation of how the Force feels/works

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 12.8K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Once again, a massive thank you to @burningfieldof-clover for helping me when I got stuck and who I am very grateful to have as a friend! Dropping this before S3 graces our screens and I hope you all enjoy!

Chibbier

Echo waited in the forest clearing as the Marauder touched down. “I got your message. It sounded urgent, is everything alright?” Echo asked as soon as the door to the Marauder opened revealing his two brothers.

“Everything is fine, Echo.” Hunter said.

“More than fine.” Wrecker emphasised.

“But we agreed we weren’t to meet until (Y/N) was back with us so unless you’ve found her…” He trailed off as he saw the smile tugging at Wrecker’s mouth and Hunter in particular seemed more at ease than he’d been in the recent months. “Wait a second, you mean-”

“Hey stranger.” You said with a grin as you came into view and stood between Hunter and Wrecker. You laughed as Echo’s expression changed from stunned to happy then to relief in quick succession. You jogged down the steps and embraced him tightly. “Long time no see.”

“I’ll say.” Echo replied with a smile as he mirrored your actions. “You had me worried.”

“Worried?” You queried. It sounded like he had a specific worry in mind rather than the general worries that had plagued the rest of you for months.

“Last news of you I’d heard had me getting ready to tell the boys to launch a rescue mission.” Echo said as he parted from you. “But lucky for us, they found you before I needed to share that.”

If you weren’t so happy to see him, you could’ve punched him. You weren’t far away enough from the other two and you knew Echo’s words wouldn’t go unheard, especially by the clone with enhanced senses. You hadn’t gotten around to sharing that part of your time alone and you weren’t sure that you wanted to either.

Hunter hadn’t forgotten that there was something about your past that you weren’t telling him. He’d noticed small shifts and changes in your behaviour since you’d been back. It was things like you made sure to keep your top layer on at all times and if you had to take it off, you would always go to the refresher regardless of it you were alone or not which was something you never used to do. You hadn’t communicated with either him or Wrecker in the silent way you were able to do where they’d hear your voice in their head which was something you did regularly in the past. You were also more emotionally and physically distant, the latter happening at night in particular and ordinarily it wouldn’t bother him, but he knew the cause was rooted in something you’d gone through. But every time he tried to broach the issue, you refused to talk about whatever it was that was causing it, and it pained him that he could do nothing but watch the negative impact it continued to have on you.

“What’s going on with, Omega? Any new leads?” You asked Echo instead, ignoring Hunter’s hand that now rested on your upper arm.

“(Y/N)-”

“Not now, Hunter. Please.”

Hunter released a quiet and resigned sigh. He wanted to help you if he could, but he also knew he had to wait until you were ready. It was just getting harder to do that.

Echo glanced between the two of you. “I said something I shouldn’t have, didn’t I?”

You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. Just fill us in.”

Echo’s eyes darted to Hunter who only nodded. He took a breath and waited for Wrecker to join the three of you. “Nothing new. Imperial security on Hemlock is tight and any breakthrough just results in more cryptic information.”

“Yeah, we’ve had much of the same.” You agreed irritably.

Echo nodded before he faced Hunter. “I know we said that we’d come together once we had (Y/N) back with us, but I think it’s better if I stay doing what I’m doing. Rex and I are going to meet and try to pool together what we’ve gathered. We can tell you what we find and send you to follow up on other sources since we can’t cover everything ourselves and you can also keep searching on your own.”

Before Hunter could form a reply, the sound of branches snapping grabbed his attention.

The blaster bolt that immediately followed the noise, skimmed the armour on your upper arm.

You all reacted quickly and took cover behind the trees.

The onslaught of fire was being directed towards you and would only occasionally be aimed to your fellow clones as a way to keep them from advancing towards the source. Evidently you were the main target here.

“Hunter!” You shouted over the sound of blaster fire. When he pressed his back against the tree trunk and his helmet looked over to you, you called on the Force and dragged the assailant out from their spot, and a well-aimed shot from Hunter saw to it that the blaster was rendered useless. You kept that link with your ally to Force-push them into another tree, and they crumbled to the floor.

All of you lowered your blaster for the moment. You needed to find out why they were here, killing them immediately wouldn’t get you very far.

You stepped out from behind your tree and observed the bounty hunter carefully. Throughout the firefight, you’d felt yourself being pulled towards them, but you couldn’t work out why and that urge hadn’t gone away.

Stiff and unsteady movements had you readying your blaster again but as the hunter got to their feet and caught your eye, you understood why that feeling was there.

Your heart stopped and you stayed rooted to the spot as you saw the blade ignite from the hilt they were holding. The ground around them illuminated in a pale blue haze and you understood what was calling you to the hunter now. Your feet suddenly began moving of their own accord.

The other three all shared a collective bewildered look at what was unfolding in front of them.

Hunter collected his shock quickly and raised his hand to order the others to halt their fire as you fully stepped out to into the clearing.

The bounty hunter charged for you, but the attack posed little threat to you. Whoever this was had no idea how to use an elegant weapon like this and their grip was heavy and clumsy. It wouldn’t take much for you to disarm them.

You ducked under their reckless and uncoordinated swing, grabbed their wrist, and bent it back until the weapon fell from their grasp. You landed a hard kick to their chest, and they stumbled back. The hood fell loose- now exposing a feminine face- but she wasn’t a bounty hunter you recognised. You didn’t have much time to dwell on that since she grabbed a small knife from her boot and jabbed it towards your stomach. You parried away her strikes before you grew tired of dragging this altercation out. Landing a strong punch to her jaw, you used her dazed disposition to Force-pull her face down to the forest floor and waved the others forward.

Hunter and Wrecker pressed their knees into her back and brought her arms around to firmly hold them behind her.

You paid little attention to what they were doing. You hesitantly walked over to the weapon left discarded on the ground.

“Who hired you?” Hunter demanded as he held her down.

“Fuck off.” She snarled as she fought against their grip, but they were too strong, and she was in a much weaker position than she’d been in ten minutes ago.

Echo merely bent down to reach into her jacket pocket and pulled out the tracking fob and bounty puck. Your holographic image confirming what they’d all suspected.

Upon seeing that, Hunter found himself pushing his knee deeper into her spine, paying little attention to her groans of protest.

“Where did you get this?” You questioned softly, more to yourself than anything. You kept your back turned to her as you knelt down and studied the familiar design on the hilt. You couldn’t pick it up, not yet. You knew what you would feel if you did, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

“What?” The bounty hunter snapped as she went for another attempt to wriggle free, but the two clones kept her tight to the forest floor.

You stiffened your posture as you turned on your heels and strode over to her. You lowered your mask, found your voice, and crouched down to her eye level. “Where did you get the lightsaber?” You pointed back to where the weapon still lay abandoned.

“I’m not telling you a thing, Jedi brat.” She spat.

At her words, Hunter twisted her arm harder, ignoring her pained cry.

You signalled to Hunter to ease up and you stood tall once more and indicated to them both to get her on her feet.

Once they did so, you pressed your blaster against her stomach and brought your lips close to her ear- your voice a quiet but lethal whisper. “You know who I am and what I’ve done to people to get what I want. Do you want to be next?” At her harsh gulp, you kept pushing. “I can’t imagine what that’ll do for your reputation in your community... then again, maybe I can… shall we find out?” You knew you’d done enough as you sensed her flicker of fear. You took a step back and looked at her with a firm glare.

“It was the client I did the job for.” She muttered begrudgingly. She wasn’t about to be maimed or die for a job that wasn’t paying all that much in the first place. She’d worked too hard to be seen as a contender, she couldn’t lose that now.

“And who was that?” Hunter asked again, his voice steely.

“Some shop owner.” She replied irritably.

“A name.” You insisted.

“I can’t remember.”

You puffed out an exasperated sigh and took a half step forward.

“Kedrin! His name was Kedrin!” She revealed fretfully.

You saw the shared look between Hunter and Wrecker. “That name mean something to you?”

Wrecker nodded. “He was the one that told us to go to Christophsis to find you.”

The name meant nothing to you upon initially hearing it but evidently you were involved somehow. You ran the information over in your head. Shop owner… Kedrin… Christophsis… it was starting to make sense in your head and that would mean… Your breath caught in your throat as it hit you. You hadn’t even known his name and you’d taken his only family away from him.

“Why set the bounty on her?” Echo asked coolly, keeping his blaster focused on her.

“Not really supposed to ask.” She grunted. “He just mentioned a dead brother.” She saw the flash of something in your eyes… it looked like regret. “Oh… you killed him.”

You glared at her. You hadn’t had time to fill Echo in yet and this was not how you wanted to go about it.

Echo’s eyes darted from her to you. “What is she talking about?”

“Echo…” You started but a cruel laugh from the bounty hunter interrupted you.

“Oh, she’s achieved quite the reputation. Can’t go far in the Outer Rim without coming across someone who had dealings with her.”

Echo angled his head to face you, but you wouldn’t meet his gaze. As hard as you were trying to hide it, you looked… ashamed?

“Back off.” Wrecker growled at the hunter as he saw your mask of composure slip for a moment.

“What’s the matter, Jedi? Suddenly the killing and torture got too much for you? If they were all as weak as you, no wonder they’re all gone.” She taunted mercilessly.

“Shut up.” Hunter snarled as he saw the way your fists clenched as you worked on keeping your distress at bay.

But you knew it was a pointless venture. Despite her current predicament, that bounty hunter arrogance was in full flow now that she’d discovered your weakness, and she wasn’t about to stop. Her stare was filled with malice, but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of turning away. Your shoulders heaved as you worked on keeping your breathing even and controlled.  

The bounty hunter addressed the clones now. "I didn’t get much guidance from my client aside from ‘kill her’ so ever since I picked up that bounty, I've been trying to think of the most chaotic way to take her out. She's obviously felt enough emotional turmoil that an easy death would be a mercy. Jedi don't deserve the luxury. I like to play with my food before I kill it."

“And how’s that worked out for you?” You retorted though your conviction was weak as her words found their mark and her sneer told you she was completely unbothered about her current situation now. Your only plan involved letting her overconfidence be her own undoing.

“Nice try.” She mocked. “For a moment I believed your threats but now that I’m really looking at you, I know you don’t have it in you to kill me anymore. You’ve gone soft and you’re pathetic I can see it in your eyes- you’re haunted by what you’ve done, Jedi.”

Your jaw clenched and you could feel those emotions you’d worked so hard to control start to rise to the surface.

“I’m getting outta here and I fully intend to finish what the Empire started-”

Hunter’s fatal shot to her chest silenced her and she flopped to the ground.

“Looks like you have something you need to deal with first.” Echo advised Hunter as he destroyed the puck and tracking fob for good measure before he holstered his blaster. He faced you. “I still don’t know what happened whilst you were on your own, but your past is your own, I won’t hold anything against you, we’re still okay.” He reassured you.

You barely managed a nod of acknowledgement as her words were still replaying in your mind, but you wouldn’t let it show. Instead, you took out your vibroblade and cut a section of her clothing. You stayed silent as you took the piece of fabric and wrapped the lightsaber in it. You knew it was a lame gesture- especially since you immediately felt that rush of connection as you lifted it- but it provided you with a false sense of security that you would rather have because the second you made unrestrained contact with it, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist or turn your back on it again. You held the hilt tightly before you waved farewell to Echo and made for the ship.

Hunter nodded absentmindedly at Echo’s words whilst his gaze was fixed on you. He knew seeing that lightsaber might bring back some memories, but the intensity of your reaction told him there was more to it than simply remembering that period of your life. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and reached his hand out to Echo. “Be safe, Echo. We’ll be in touch once we’ve dealt with this.”

“You too.” Echo replied, meeting Hunter’s hand in a firm handshake before they parted, and he watched Hunter head back to the Marauder.

“See you later, Echo.” Wrecker said warmly as he lightly slapped his brother’s shoulder before he followed Hunter to the ship.

--

“What’s so special about this lightsaber?” Wrecker asked as the ship entered hyperspace.

Hunter leaned against the entrance to the cockpit, arms crossed as he studied you. Your eyes hadn’t left the weapon sitting in your lap.

“It’s mine.” You said quietly.

Hunter immediately straightened up. “It’s yours?” He repeated.

“Yup.” You cleared your throat and brought your eyes up to face the two clones. “I figured it would’ve been destroyed in Order 66. Guess not.” You said with a resigned sigh.

“Woah! Talk about lucky!” Wrecker said excitedly but you didn’t seem to match his enthusiasm. “This is good news, isn’t it?” He asked, tilting his head at you.

“I don’t know what kind of news it is, Wrecker.” You said honestly.

“What’s your hold up?” Hunter asked curiously.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty handy weapon to have and if it belongs to you, isn’t it better that it’s back with you?” Wrecker followed up.

“It’s difficult to explain.” You deflected.

“Try us.” Hunter encouraged gently.

You shot him a look, hoping he would drop it but the look in his eyes told you that he was not for dissuading. You released a short breath. “It would be like taking back a section of my life I was ready to leave behind. That I had left behind… for years.”

“And you don’t know if you’re ready to reconnect with that part of you yet?” Hunter guessed.

You shrugged in complacent agreement. “Making the choice to leave the Jedi Order was already difficult and leaving my lightsaber…. well, that was hard enough the first time and now that I have it back… I don’t know.” You ran a hand over your face. “It’s just complicated.” You got to your feet and carefully put the lightsaber on a shelf in the cockpit.

Wrecker slapped his hands against his thighs. “Well, I always think things look less complicated after a good sleep, what do ya say? We all could use some rest before we sort out this Kedrin guy.”

Sleep didn’t provide you with much respite these days, but you hummed out a quiet laugh and shared a brief smile with Hunter. “Sounds like a good idea, Wrecker.”

--

Hunter jolted awake, panic setting in as he reached for you only to find that you weren’t there, and he had a horrible feeling that he hadn’t woken up yet. But no, he could hear Wrecker’s faint snores, so he had to be awake, and he knew he was back with you, it wasn’t a trick. There would be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t lying next to him right now.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. You were here, you’d been here for a while now. He’d found you; you were okay. It wasn’t like before. You were probably just in the cockpit. Yes, that’s where you had to be.

When he felt himself calm down, he got to his feet and noiselessly made his way there but paused in the entryway as he saw you reading one of Tech’s old datapads, top layer still on, feet tucked up beneath you as you sat in the pilot’s seat. He thought he’d gathered them all. “Where’d you find that?” He rasped; his voice still thick with sleep.

You jumped in your chair as you heard him. You had been utterly absorbed in what you were reading, you hadn’t sensed him approach. You looked up to see Hunter standing in the doorway to the cockpit. “Tucked behind the medkit. I forgot how much Tech truly recorded.” You said in fond remembrance although there was an overall sense of sorrow in your voice. You flashed him the title of the current report you were reading. “Remember that mission on Ryloth?”

“You and Wrecker got separated from the rest of us and decided to blow up the target from the inside and escape through the garbage chute if I remember correctly?”

“Right.” You said with a soft chuckle.

“Pretty sure that was the mission that made you a fully-fledged member of our squad, Wrecker couldn’t stop raving about you after that. I was almost jealous.” Hunter managed to joke.

You gave him a small grin at that before you turned off the datapad and properly took him in. “Guess you couldn’t sleep either?” You asked in a hushed voice as Hunter stepped further into the cockpit.

Hunter merely shook his head and sat across from you.

“Nightmares?” You figured as you delicately put the datapad back and sat in your seat once more.

“I prefer calling them recaps.” Hunter muttered dully as he sat across from you.

You reached for his knee and squeezed it comfortingly. “Do you want to talk more about them?”

Hunter shook his head. “You know and lived it all too and being here with you helps anyway. What about you?”

“Just a lot weighing on my mind.” You said airily as you brought your hand back to your lap.

Hunter made a small noise of quiet understanding. He hadn’t been expecting much more by way of a response from you.

“I don’t know how he does it.” You whispered in sad envy as you jutted your chin over to where Wrecker was sleeping soundly.

Hunter followed your gaze and sighed. “It’s the only way he can switch off. Especially in the early months, he struggled with remembering everything.”

“Yeah, any form of healing from all this won’t be easy.” You said with a heavy breath.

“Wrecker might be able to sleep better than we can, but he keeps a blaster by him and has his hand on it at all times. I don’t think he ever wants to be caught off guard again.” Hunter replied solemnly. “Moving on won’t ever be simple.”

You dipped your head in agreement and leaned back in your chair.

The minutes ticked by and the two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while before Hunter cleared his throat. “I’m going to be selfish for a moment, okay?”

You tilted your head at him and adjusted your posture to give him your full attention. “Okay…”

Hunter took another breath, his throat bobbing before he spoke, “You can’t leave me to wake up alone like that.”

It hit you immediately. Fuck, you’d been an idiot, of course you couldn’t do that. If he’d done that to you, you would lose your shit. How could you have been so stupid? “Hunter-”

“I had one night too many of waking up to a cold and empty space and worrying about where you were and what was happening to you. I can’t go through it again, I won’t. Not anymore.”

You’d been so wrapped up in your own head, you hadn’t even considered what that would do to him, but you should’ve known better, especially because your reaction would be exactly like his. You quietly stood up and closed the short gap between you to straddle his lap.

He accommodated you in an instant and his eyes fluttered shut as you gently stroked your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.” You soothed as you placed delicate kisses to his face whilst you moved your hands to rub up and down his chest, his sleep clothes warm and soft beneath your palms.

Hunter caught your wrists and tenderly caressed the scars left there as a result of what you’d endured in Cid’s parlour. “I barely lived through it once and I won’t do it ever again. I don’t care what time it is, if you’re up and struggling with something you wake me up with you. I’d rather that than wake up without you and have that pain and panic set it again. Promise me… please.” He begged, brushing some strands of hair back behind your ear as his eyes looked deep into yours.

You nuzzled into his neck and placed a gentle kiss on his pulse point. “I promise.” Your lips traced his jaw. “And you promise too.”

“I promise.” Hunter agreed and he tucked his fingers under your chin and brought your lips to his.

You had wanted to keep it short and sweet, but you soon found yourself physically incapable. One gentle nip from him on your bottom lip and you were done for. The kiss soon turned hungry and desperate. The two of you were consumed by a passion you’d had no outlet for yet, and you were getting completely lost in the moment. Your hands threaded themselves in his hair and you pressed yourself against him as he deepened the kiss and squeezed your hips to get you to subtly grind against him which were instructions you were only too happy to follow.

It was all over though when you felt his hands start to reach the bottom of your shirt and brush against your bare skin. Instinctively, you flinched away, and you crashed back to reality. You knew what marks you were concealing, and what he would feel if he lifted your shirt, and it wasn’t something he should have to see. “I- I can’t.” You panted against his lips. Your body yearned for him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go any further, not yet. Everything was still too fresh, and you couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted to.

Even though his body burned for you, he’d never push you into this, but he wanted to share the burden of whatever it was that was tormenting you. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?” Hunter murmured breathlessly as he glanced up at you.

You swallowed thickly. “I want to but-” You released a low, shaky breath. “It’s- it’s hard to talk about.”

Hunter stroked your cheek. “Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be right there.”

You pressed your lips into his palm.

“Come on, let’s try to get some rest. We’ll arrive at Nelvaan in a few hours.” He kissed your forehead before you got to your feet and the two of you made your way back to your bunk.

--

“Y- you’re supposed- supposed to be dead!” Kedrin exclaimed fearfully as he cowered behind the main counter upon seeing you standing in the doorway of his shop, the two clones on either side of your shoulders.

“You should’ve sprung for a better bounty hunter then.” You countered as you walked towards the store owner. “I have some questions for you.”

“No, I’m not dealing with any of you ever again!” Kedrin reached underneath the counter and pulled out a blaster and pointed it at you.

You stopped your advance and raised your hands in surrender. “Kedrin, I just need to talk to you.”

“Fuck you! You don’t get to use my name and talk to me like what you did to me was nothing!”

You internally cringed at the memory of what you’d put him through.

“Did you even know he was my brother?!” He shouted in anger. “Did you even care, you heartless bitch?!”

Hunter tensed beside you.

You lightly grazed his hand with your own to tell him it was fine but at the same time shame coiled in your gut. You lowered your mask and kept your voice low and composed. “Kedrin-”

“Stop using my fucking name, you never bothered with it before!” He then turned his rage to the clone that stood closest to you. “And you! I still have the scar from you!” He yelled at the clone on your right, the blaster in his hand still quivering as he aimed it between the three of you.

Hunter stood unwavering beside you and said nothing.

You saw how unsteady his grip on his blaster was. “You’re not a killer, Kedrin. It’s why you sent the bounty hunter after me in the first place.” You said as an attempt to talk him down but the Force around him was in complete chaos, the only emotion that had any kind of control was his anger and that was dangerous. You knew the kind of pain and wrath the loss of a loved one could unleash, and it was why you’d never wanted to put anyone through it in the first place but now you were seeing the impact of your mistake firsthand.

“You killed my brother you fucking bitch!”

You sensed him getting ready to pull the trigger. “Kedrin-” You ducked as the blaster bolt came straight for your head. You channelled the Force and took the blaster from his hand whilst Hunter and Wrecker used that distraction to advance and subdue him. They shoved his head and torso down to press against the countertop.

“Do you want one to match?” Hunter threatened as he reached for his vibroblade and held the sharp point just above Kedrin’s unmarked hand as he and Wrecker held him down.

“Hunter, it’s okay.” You said, pulling him back from that line the two of you had agreed to keep each other from as you saw the way his grip strengthened and the wince of pain Kedrin couldn’t conceal.

Kedrin kept looking for a way out of their hold but was proving futile. “She murdered my brother.” He whimpered as he continued some half-hearted attempts to free himself.

“You’re right. I did.” You approached him and crouched to meet his eyeline. “And it was a mistake that I’m plagued by to this day. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. I know you’d love nothing more than to kill me too, it would probably feel great but please, please Kedrin, don’t do this. It won’t end well for you.” You begged. When his resistance finally ceased, you turned your attention to Hunter.

“Give us a minute.” You said to Hunter, resting a hand on the top of his shoulder.

“But-” Hunter got ready to argue.

“Hunter.” You interrupted firmly and fixed him with a stern stare.

Recognising that tone and look in your eyes, Hunter released a disgruntled but compliant sigh and nodded to Wrecker to let him go. He holstered his blaster and sheathed his vibroblade before leading the way out.

As you heard the door shut, you stepped back from the counter to give Kedrin some space. “You have no reason to trust me, but I promise that I’m not going to hurt you, that’s not why I’m here.”

“You’re- you’re not here to kill me for the bounty hunter?” Kedrin asked warily.  

You shook your head. “There was a time where that’s what precisely I would do and I wouldn’t even hesitate, but you’re not the person I’m supposed to be hurting and neither was your brother. I know nothing I say will bring you comfort but I am not here to kill you. I only want to talk.” You said sincerely as you put your weapons to the ground and faced him calmly.

Kedrin massaged his right shoulder- which had been on the receiving end of a particularly harsh grip from the clone you referred to as ‘Hunter’- and narrowed his eyes at you. “What is it exactly that you want to talk about?”

“This.” You placed the lightsaber on the counter and unwrapped it. “Where’d you get it?”

Kedrin wasn’t buying that that was all you wanted to know about, you had to be here for revenge. “How do I know you won’t do some magic thing like you did last time?”

You released an irritated sigh. “Because if I was going to do that, I would’ve done it already. I won’t lie, I can’t leave here with you still intent on sending hunters after me or I will have to do some things neither of us will enjoy, particularly you. I will always regret taking yours away from you, it was never part of my plan to leave someone alone, but my family is still counting on me, and I can’t have anything messing that up. Please, leave us alone and I’ll never bother you again after this.”

Kedrin angled his head and regarded you inquisitively. His body was still filled with fear of being alone with you, but it was like there was a different person standing before him- you seemed genuinely upset and sorry; and that in of itself would be punishment enough- better you feel the guilt of what you’d done than have an easy out. “You’re the most terrifying person I’ve ever met but for some reason, I believe what you’re saying. No more bounty hunters.”

You felt into the Force around him but there was no dishonesty or deceit. “The lightsaber?” You redirected his attention to the weapon on the counter.

Kedrin shrugged. “What about it?”

“Where did you get it?” You repeated impatiently.

Kedrin flinched at your tone and- not wanting to risk upsetting you any further- started wiping down some glass cases to channel his nervous energy and spoke quickly. “I’ve had it for a while, couldn’t tell you who gave it to me. Just that they were employed to be a part of the clean-up after your lot betrayed the Chancellor and found it and wanted a souvenir of the experience.”

You coughed and bit back the flurry of insults and threats that nearly escaped your mouth.

Kedrin, now so focused on his task that he was oblivious to your discomfort, carried on in a restless ramble, “Guess they ran into tough times during the transition period and wanted rid of it for some quick cash. No one really wanted to buy it though, it just sat there which was why I gave it to that bounty hunter.”

You felt your heartbeat thundering in your ears as you realised what this could mean for you. Leaving it behind had been an active choice to cut part of yourself off from the Force and now you had a chance to feel the Force flow through you as a single entity, no more jagged or disjointed connections… but you didn’t know if you were ready for that yet, it was too much to even comprehend. If it had survived everything and found its way back to you… did that mean that you could too?

“So, um are you going to pay for it?” He dared to ask but your sharp and cold glower had him gulping nervously and wringing his hands. “Uh, never mind, you can take it.” He said hastily. “Just let us be done with each other.”

You said nothing to him, you only covered it once more, picked up your other weapons and exited the shop.

--

“Everything okay?” Hunter asked as you emerged from the store.

“We were going to go get some supplies if you want to join?” Wrecker added.

“I need a moment. You guys go.” You said, giving Wrecker your concealed lightsaber and avoiding eye contact with them both as you hurried back to the Marauder.

--

Having found a moment of relief under the warm water, you got out of the shower and started to towel off and redress but as you pulled your tank top over you, you realised you’d left your long sleeve out by your bunk. You swore under your breath and only hoped the other two would take a bit longer on the supply run. You dashed out the door of the refresher and started to rummage through the bunk for it.

“Who did that to you?”

You whipped around to see Hunter stood frozen in the entryway to the Marauder. “Dammit Hunter-”

“Who did that to you?” He repeated heatedly, his concern and rage rising each second. The sight of the deep and cruel scars that disappeared from your upper back beneath your shirt to the rest of your back was engrained in his mind and any plans of waiting for you to come to him evaporated as his anger and protectiveness overcame him.

Wrecker stepped up beside his brother, put the supplies down and your weapon on a shelf. He nervously glanced between the two of you and it didn’t take an enhanced skill for him to pick up on the way Hunter was trembling with fury. “Eh, what’d I miss?”

Hunter ignored him and kept his eyes on you. “Who was it?”

You turned back around to grab your shirt and it was then that you heard Wrecker’s sharp inhale as he too now saw what it was Hunter had seen. You fiddled with the fabric, twisting it tightly in your hands. “It wasn’t like it was solely one person. Just forget about it.” You muttered aloofly.

“No, I can’t just forget about it. Who. Hurt. You?” 

You sighed heavily and half-turned to face the two clones. “It was a two for one special.”

“Don’t.” Hunter chided sternly. He couldn’t have you make light of this, not when he’d seen what you’d gone through now. He couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anymore and, as awful as a part of him found it, he had to push you now.

There was no leeway in his voice, you weren’t going to be able to dodge and weave your way out of this conversation now. “Basically, it was both Imperial Stormtroopers and their higher command officers.” You swallowed harshly. “They- they worked together on this one.”

Hunter simply stormed away from you to the ship’s controls. “Wrecker, let’s get the ship in the air.”

“You’re going to go after every Imperial officer and stormtrooper in the galaxy?” You scrappily tugged your top layer over you and hustled after the two of them as they strode into the cockpit.

“If I have to!” Hunter growled.

“I’m with the Sarge on this one.” Wrecker agreed severely as he started to power up the ship.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought but that’s not logical nor practical!” You argued.

“Don’t talk to me about practicality when they did that to you!” Hunter shouted angrily.

“It was my fault, Hunter!” You yelled back.

That caused both of them to pause and Wrecker turned off the engine.

“I did it to myself.” You said, your voice scarcely above a whisper as you braced yourself for the time you were about to relive.

“What are you talking about?” Hunter asked, his voice as quiet as yours now as he studied your face carefully.

“Before I tell you, I need you both to stay calm. Especially you.” You said to Hunter. You knew he wasn’t mad at you; his reaction had been exactly as you’d expected. His fierce protectiveness was a quality you loved about him, but it could be his undoing if he wasn’t careful. “And you need to know and accept that nothing would’ve changed it, it wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I acted in poor and emotional judgement and there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. Please, trust me on this.” You insisted with a pleading stare at him before you looked to Wrecker who- albeit hesitantly- nodded. You glanced to Hunter again who was still looking like he could take on the Empire singlehandedly. “Hunter?”

Hunter felt a keen sense of dread at your words, and it was highly likely he wouldn’t be able to view it quite as simply as that, but he allowed himself a deep and calming breath. He’d do this for you. “Tell me.”

You exhaled nervously and fidgeted with your hands. Realistically, you’d known you wouldn’t be able to go through the rest of your life without being found out or talking about it but that didn’t make doing this any easier. “I’m sure I don’t really have to go into how hard it was to find each other, right? I’m sure you guys had your fair share of failed leads and things were pretty hopeless for a while, yes?”

Hunter and Wrecker both nodded.

You took another breath. “Right, well, it was the same for me. During our time apart, nothing I did was getting me any closer to you and I could feel it draining me every day. Lyra and I arrived on Christophsis and decided to settle there but it didn’t help. No matter how hard I searched, no matter how much of myself I gave up when it came to getting what I wanted, nothing was bringing results, and I was angry. I was angry, frustrated and just miserable. And it was in that poor state of mind that I made a choice that I shouldn’t have.”

Hunter knew those emotions all too well and he’d get incredibly impatient and unfocused when they got overwhelming, but he’d been fortunate to have Wrecker around to pick up the load when it got too much. Yes, you may have had Lyra, but he knew you and how you operated, and you would’ve put it all on you, regardless of how exhausting it would’ve been and that’s what made him nervous as he awaited further explanation.

You shuffled your feet. “I was being a bit of a nuisance to the Empire wherever I went, Christophsis was no exception, but I was getting nowhere on the information front so, in my slightly unstable state, I figured the best way to find out about you or even Hemlock was to um well, find it straight from the source.”

Hunter’s heart skipped a beat. “No, no you didn’t.”

Wrecker looked between the two of you in confusion but then it clicked with him too and he stared at you, horrified. “Why would you do that?”

You swallowed thickly. “I thought that by handing myself in, I would be able to get the information I was needing. I figured they would have some form of intel on you I could use.” You huffed irritably as you remembered how foolish you’d been. “Turns out they were a lot smarter than I gave them credit for and they sussed out my plan pretty quickly.”

You winced as Hunter threw his helmet and it crashed against the wall. You expected no less but you needed to reign him back in if you had any chance of recounting the whole story. “That’s not staying calm.”

Hunter got to his feet and paced; his distress evident. “We were on your trail! If I’d been faster and picked our sources more carefully, you wouldn’t have had to-” Hunter seethed. How could he have failed you so badly? You’d put yourself through hell for their sake and if he had gotten to you sooner, you wouldn’t have had to have gone through this.

“Hunter, no.” You shook your head to stop him from putting the blame on himself. “The whole reason I did it was because the trail was running cold, and I was desperate. It was all on me. and I’m not done explaining this yet and it doesn’t get better, but you can’t do this. I understand and appreciate where it comes from, but it won’t help now, okay? Just let me finish it.”

Hunter clenched his jaw but did as you asked. He sat back down and nodded at you to continue but he was helpless to stop the anxious shaking of his leg.

You gritted your teeth as you prepared yourself for what you had to do next and any levity that you’d previously been forcing into your voice vanished. “Since they knew what I was and some of the general history between all of us, it’s like I said, they were aware of what I wanted, and they definitely weren’t up for giving it to me. They finally had me under their control, and they were very good at making sure I wasn’t getting away any time soon. Honestly, they were pretty creative with their methods and I’m sure some of them found doing what they did to me quite therapeutic.” That dismissive attitude slipped back in at the end without you meaning to. Frankly, you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t for the sharp and worried looks from Wrecker and Hunter. You mentally checked yourself before you proceeded.

“Where they showed their inexperience however was when they got frustrated at how little I gave them. I don’t think they realised how hard it would be to crack someone like me. Their fists, their whips, their electrostaffs… it all hurt but it wouldn’t get me to talk. So, they went for something different, and that was what got them quite close.” You stopped again and found yourself touching the small pinprick scar as you remembered the sharp sting and then the complete haziness that would follow that would render your completely susceptible to anything they would do and say. “Whatever concoction they’d inject into my neck when they got bored or too tired from physically hurting me was nearly impossible for me to resist and that was a terrifying experience... I was having to fight my own mind while they happily watched on. That interrogator droid would enter, and- and my body would go cold with fear every time.” You paused for a chance to gather yourself and squeezed your eyes tight to rid yourself of the memories of that dark, cramped room they would take you where you were helpless to their cruelty and the last thing you would clearly recall would be the whirring of that droid approaching you.

You took another breath before you continued to speak. “That was what came close to breaking me and they worked that out. Every day they would inject me with that serum to make me submit to their words and they would tell me you were right outside. They- they would tell me that I would see- see you all again if I only told them how much I knew about Omega and where I was hiding…. And every day I would have to remind myself that it was all a lie… that you weren’t there, and I couldn’t reveal anything since that would put Lyra in danger too.” You released a shaky breath. “Or they’d try to convince me that you were going through the same thing I was and- and it was my fault and to get- to get it to stop I would have to tell them everything.” You felt a lump form in the back of your throat, but you forced yourself to talk through it. “They could beat me all they wanted but that was the thing that actually left a mark… these scars merely came with the territory.”

A troubled silence fell upon the walls of the Marauder as you finished. You picked at some imaginary lint on your leggings as a way to bring your emotions under control.

Hunter felt sick to his stomach. He could’ve saved you or made it so putting yourself in that position would never have needed to seem like a viable option. You’d needed him and he hadn’t been there. He’d let you down.

You caught a glimpse of his expression changing from anger to defeated sadness and he didn’t need to vocalise those thoughts; you were perfectly aware of what would be going through his head. “It’s okay.” You mouthed silently to him.

You shouldn’t be the one comforting him. A broken and anguished sigh left his throat. Okay? How was any of this okay? You’d subjected yourself to torture for them and had carried the burden of it by yourself for so long.

“How’d you get away?” Wrecker asked in quiet upset as he imagined you experiencing that.

You coughed and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. “Truth be told, it gets a bit blurry near the end. I…” You trailed off and frowned as you worked on accurately recalling what had gone down the day you got out. You hesitantly started your explanation again. “I remember overhearing that they were going to send me off world to a high security prison and I couldn’t have that. The trooper who put the cuffs on me to take me back to my cell was a rookie, I think he figured I was unconscious, so he used the regular ones that didn’t restrict my Force-wielding abilities. Then the dizziness and blackouts set in, I remember finding the strength to take him out, but I don’t exactly know how I proceeded from there. The next thing I do remember was collapsing outside the door to where we were living and Lyra dragging me inside.”

“Hunter?” You looked to him since he hadn’t said anything yet.

Hunter’s throat had gone so dry, he couldn’t summon words immediately. All that was racking through his head was how he could’ve prevented this and how he should’ve been there to save you. You never should’ve been the one to drag yourself out of that hellhole. The protective part of him wanted to find a way for you to come up with any identifying features that could assist in hunting down those who’d inflicted that pain on you but despite all you’d relayed to them, he was calmer now and he knew that wasn’t what you wanted. He may have failed you then, but he wouldn’t now. His focus now lay in what he could do for you now but there was an element to the explanation he was missing and once he had that, everything else could fall into place. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He murmured instead.

There was no accusation in his eyes, no pointedness or blame in his tone. You knew he just wanted to understand, and it was a fair question. “I was working on compartmentalising it; it was just going badly. And-” You stopped yourself from continuing and instead just started to back away. “Nothing.”

“And what?” Hunter pressed as he got to his feet and caught your hand before you could step away any further.

You shook your head. “It’s a stupid reason, I shouldn’t care about it.”

“Nothing you’re feeling about this is stupid. I might be able to help, you only need to tell me.” Hunter prompted tenderly as he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb.

You regarded him carefully, attempting to find some deception or falseness in his tone so you didn’t have to say it but, unsurprisingly, you didn’t find any. You bit your lip before speaking, “I didn’t want you to have to see them. They’re- they’re not exactly nice to look at.” You muttered as you dipped your head to stare at the floor.

The fact that that was even cause for concern felt like a punch to the gut but at least there was something he could do about it. He may not be able to go after the Imperials like he wanted but he could help you realise that was a non-issue for him and one that hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Wrecker, take a walk. I’ll be in touch when you can come back.” Hunter ordered his brother.

Wrecker wasn’t about to question him, so he did as he said. He rested a gentle hand on your shoulder in comfort. “Thank you for telling us.” He said before he left the ship.

You went to address Hunter, but he spoke first.

“Turn around.”

Your brow furrowed but you couldn’t deny the warmth that bloomed in your stomach at his words. “What?”

“Turn around.” Hunter repeated, his tone quiet but filled with dominance.

Despite your lingering questions as to what exactly it was that he wanted, you found yourself doing as he instructed. You could feel the heat in your stomach start to radiate throughout the rest of his body. Each steady thump of armour hitting the ground had goosebumps rising on your skin in anticipation and you felt him crowd your back and rest his chin in the space between your neck and shoulder.

Hunter kissed the sensitive spot behind your ear and as he felt you relax into him; he slowly grabbed the hem of your long-sleeved layer and lifted it over your head and dropped it to the floor of the ship. He didn’t let his eyes fall to the scars yet. Instead, he caressed the trail of goosebumps on your arms and continued to pay close attention to your neck, softy nibbling the areas that he knew would make you weak at the knees.

He could play your body so well; it was like the two of you hadn’t been parted for as long as you had been. You could feel yourself growing more and more compliant to his touch and desire coursed through your body. You only snapped out of it when you felt his touch go lower and he tugged the bottom of your vest top. You went stiff and immediately grabbed his hands in a panic. “Hunter, no. You-”

“Easy.” He soothed as he pressed delicate, featherlight kisses to the back and each side of your neck. “Trust me.” He rasped against your skin, but he waited for your signal.

You released a low, unsteady breath. You couldn’t live in this state of fear and shame forever. You trusted him with everything you had and that was why you felt yourself letting go of his wrists. Your breathing grew uneven, and your body trembled as you felt his bare hands graze underneath your vest top before, they held onto the hem of it.

“Relax… it’s okay. You’re okay now. Let me see.” He encouraged gently, only lifting when he saw you nod your permission.  

His gaze finally dipped to your bare back, and he had to fight to keep his breathing calm as he felt his heart shatter once he saw the full extent of what had been done to you. Your back was a map of merciless and vicious scars, and he wanted nothing more to take away the pain they’d caused you and inflict it on his own body. But that was the only effect they had. He was not repulsed, not repelled by the sight of them. They did nothing to ruin his physical perception of you. You were every bit as beautiful to him now as you had been when he first met you on Devaron all that time ago. “You’re exquisite.”

You refused to believe that. These were different to the scars you were both used to that came with the impact of battle and you were under no illusions as to how unsightly they were. You went to turn to face him so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at them and to protest his words, but he sensed that and beat you to it.

“These do not define you. They do not define my view of you. You are strong, you are capable, and you are a force to be reckoned with and that is why I love you.” He started to lightly touch each one. “No amount of scarring is going to change that. You. Are. Beautiful. I will be there to remind you of that whenever you need it.” He pressed his mouth to the space between your shoulder blades.  

Your body trembled under his touch and his sincerity threatened to overwhelm you. “Hunter-” You managed to choke out.

“I would tear the galaxy apart for you, if you wanted me to.” He hummed against your skin as he continued to trail his lips down your back, worshipping every mark that had been left on you so as to leave a new association with them now. “But I know that’s not what you need.”

A quivering breath left your lungs at his words and ministrations, and you knew you felt the same way. But it was because the two of you were aware of that line that your relationship worked so well- you could balance the sentiment with intent. You could feel him starting to make his way back up your back.

“So, what is it that you need?” He hummed into your ear before he placed his hands on your waist and sucked a mark over the tiny scar that rested on your pulse point.

You groaned and braced your hands on the wall that formed the entryway to the cockpit as you felt your knees buckle.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Tell me and it’s yours.” He asked again as his fingers started to dip beneath the waistband of your leggings whilst he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

You knew exactly what it was, it was all you ever really needed. “You.” You gasped and you swore you felt him smile against your skin.

“You have me… always.”

You couldn’t hold out any longer, you turned around and crushed your lips against his with a groan and pushed him to the wall of the entrance to the cockpit. If he was taken aback by your abruptness, he didn’t show it as he matched your enthusiasm immediately, one hand coming to firmly grip your exposed waist whilst the other tangled itself in your damp hair, a desperate and eager noise leaving him as he got to feel your body press against his.

As you kissed him, your hands fisted his shirt and you pulled insistently but made no moves to actually step away to remove it, you were too addicted to the feeling of having him this way again… yet you needed to feel his skin against yours which is why you were thankful that he had enough willpower to separate himself from you and take it off himself.

The two of you breathed heavily and the air was thick with tension, but you were too focused on looking at what rested just past his collarbone. You hadn’t allowed yourself to check if he had held onto it for fear of what it could mean if it was gone, and your breath hitched. You touched the black leather cord and traced the small Jedi Order symbol on the end. “You- you kept it?”

“Of course, I did.” He softly uttered, if a little out of breath. He cradled your face in his palms. “What do I have to do to make you see what I see in you?”

Any answer died on your lips, and he passionately reconnected his mouth to yours, using your surprised gasp to deepen the kiss before he stepped away from the wall and started to direct you both down the narrow hallway to your bunk, muscle memory mapping the way as neither of you were content to separate to make the walk any easier.

A trail of clothes was left in your wake as you made your way to your bunk.

Hunter gently laid you down, his lips never parting yours before he patted your hip to get you to be on your front.

You still found yourself feeling reluctant. His beautiful brown eyes were laden with lust but there was also a deep and devoted sense of care behind them which was why you complied with his request. You trusted him.

Hunter went back to what he’d done earlier as he left delicate kisses to every scar that donned your back. What you endured was something no one should ever have to but what he could do now was make sure you knew that you didn’t need to hide them for the sake of other people- especially him- any longer. “You never have to worry about these. All that matters to me is that you’re here now, you got away, and you will never end up back there. More scars don’t have the power to change how I feel about you, nothing does. I love you for all that you are.” He planted a kiss to the base of your spine before he got you on your back to face him.

Hunter wiped away the salty tears that had escaped your eyes and nudged the side of your nose with his. “I love you. Always.”

“Always.” You repeated hoarsely as you were overwhelmed by the emotions that came crashing to the surface. You stroked back the smaller bits of hair that frequently slipped past his bandanna. 

Hunter kissed your cheek before leaving a trial of kisses along your jawline whilst his hand slowly made its way down your body to rest between your thighs.

Your legs parted for him on instinct and your hips bucked into his touch and a soft moan left your throat.

His voice took on a low purr as he moved his fingers. “Here’s how this is going to work: I am going to tell you everything that I love about you which you are then going to repeat and… if you don’t…” He stopped and took his hand away as he saw that familiar expression on your face, and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that tugged the edges of his mouth as that expression turned into an affronted pout. “I stop.”

Your eyes widened at the very clear implications of what he had in store for you.

“Or this doesn’t have to go any further and we stop now.” He offered sincerely.

No, you didn’t want that. It had been too long, and you needed him like your lungs needed oxygen. You could do this. You nodded your consent.

Hunter angled his head to press his lips against yours before he started to move his fingers again, hungrily swallowing your appreciative gasp. He kissed you passionately, not in any rush to stop right now. He parted from you and took a second to appreciate the throaty sighs that left your mouth at his actions, the way you bit your lip and the slight wrinkle on your brow as you grew closer to your release. He’d missed being able to see you like this, but he was relishing the opportunity to relearn and do all the things that made your body contort in pleasure. “You’re beautiful.” He exhaled in complete awe.

You were so caught up in the pleasure radiating throughout your body that you had already forgotten his plan and you were too put out by the feeling of your climax fading away to recall where your side of the bargain came into it. “Hey-” You cut yourself off as you saw the expectant expression on his face and then you remembered what you had to do to get what you craved but that doubt was still there, and you felt awkward doing it. However, the reassurance and trust that also rested on his face saw to it that you did as he said. “I- I’m beautiful.”

 Hunter bowed his head with a supportive smile before he carried on, the sound of your groan was like music to his ears. “Despite all that’s happened… all that we still have to do… you always find a way to make me smile.”

You were in a state of total euphoria and therefore failed to fully comprehend that he’d said something else. It was only when you felt him pull his hand away and the emptiness that followed that brought you back to the current situation. With a whine, you spoke again, “I- make- make you s- smile.” You ground out as you moved your hips in tandem with his touch as you chased your high.

He let you have your first climax, pausing to let you come down from it. Once your breathing evened out, he went again and kissed you before muttering against your lips, “You’re smart.”

“I’m- fuck.” You were too distracted by seeking the next release you were longing for to remember to respond, and you cried out in irritation as he stopped just before you reached it.  

“Almost.” He crooned into your ear.

As frustrated as you were, you got your bearings and whispered, “I’m smart.”

“Good girl.” He praised, a grin on his face as your breath stuttered at his words, before he continued, curling his fingers in the way he knew would send you over the edge and sure enough, your hips lifted as your release crashed over you and a gratified moan sounded from you. However, he didn’t stop, he worked you through it and said, “You’re caring.”

The process got easier and began to feel more natural. You slowly started to understand that clinging on to that part of your past had made it impossible to fully come back. Keeping yourself hidden and refusing to acknowledge what you’d experienced had made it difficult to fathom that he could still want you this way but each affirmation from his, as silly as you’d initially felt at doing what he said, was helping cement the idea that you may not be able to change or fix what you’d gone through, but it didn’t have to control you anymore. You had a partner and family that loved you and who you adored and would do anything for. You would get through this and now you were beginning to feel like you could do it. You felt yourself believing what he was telling you. A whimper left your throat, and you could already sense that you were hurtling towards the edge again, but you repeated it. “I’m c- caring.” You said through panted breaths as you coped with the overstimulation.

“You’re doing so well.” He encouraged as he kept to his word and continued to touch you. “You’re strong.” He knew he was repeating himself, but they weren’t words he minded reiterating, and he needed you to know and believe it too.

“I’m strong.” You said breathlessly as your hands curled into the blanket beneath you as that feeling overcame you again.

He saw you through your next peak and took his hand away to give you a rest from the stimulation and simply stared at you and the blissed out look on your face. He had it committed to memory, but it never ceased to take his breath away every time.

You gathered yourself enough to smile at him. “Thank you.” You whispered as you lightly followed the shape of his tattoo. You clasped the back of his neck and attempted to pull him towards you, but he worked his way out of your grip and instead kissed the hollow of your throat before kissing his way down the rest of your body. Your head fell back as you realised his intent, but you had thought it would be time for him to take what it was he needed.

He could help the groan that left him as he finally put his mouth on you. He could get drunk off the taste of you, and it had been too fucking long since he’d had the chance to do so, and he wasn’t about to stop now.

You couldn’t help the way your hands tangled in his hair and tugged him closer to you, his appreciative growl sent shivers down your spine, but you were so sensitive, and you didn’t think you could manage another one. “Hunter, I can’t. Just-”

“One more. I know you can.” He encouraged desperately as he planted a kiss to your inner thigh, sucking a bruise into the skin, before he went back to where his attention was demanded. He needed you to fall apart on his tongue, he was addicted to it, every drop of you, every whimper that sounded from you was like his own personal drug and he would never tire of it. “You’ve been such a good girl… done everything I’ve asked for… just give me one more, sweetheart.”

That did it. Your back arched and you finished with a ruined and exhausted moan. You were completely spent but it felt so good. You barely registered him to come rest beside you, his lips pressed against your temple.

“I know that wasn’t easy, but I’m so proud of you.” Hunter murmured into your hairline as he stroked up and down your side.

You regained enough feeling in your limbs to turn on your side “What about you?” You queried, still struggling to catch your breath. You knew you would be sensitive but your overwhelming longing for him swiftly outweighed any concerns.

Hunter slowly shook his head as he brushed his lips against yours, taking them away when you went to deepen the kiss. “This was always about you.”

With each passing moment, you were gaining more clarity over your faculties, and you knew what you had to do. A seductive smile pulled at the corners of your mouth and your hand snaked down between you both.

“What-” Hunter inhaled sharply as he felt your hand wrap around him, and his jaw clenched as he fought the urge to thrust his hips into your touch. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“You said this was about me and what I need, right?” You hummed as you rested your forehead against his whilst your hand kept moving. You kept your touch teasing but just enough to drive him crazy.

“R-right.” Hunter said through a strained breath as he felt his restraint leaving him with every second you continued to touch him.

“And what I need is to feel you…” You brought your lips close to his, barely any space between you now. “Inside me.” You kissed him, tugging his lip between your teeth whilst your free hand entangled itself in his hair, the actions eliciting the depraved groan you had been looking for, and before you knew it, you were back on your back again with Hunter kissing you with a newfound fervour which you matched in kind. You wrapped your legs around him and drew him closer to you, smiling against his lips at the surprised huff that escaped him.  

Hunter kept kissing you as he started to guide himself into you. He knew you would still feel tender and was careful as he slowly moved into you, both of your breaths catching at the feeling. His head fell to rest in the crook of your neck, biting down on the skin there before he soothed the sting of it with his tongue as he started to move, heavy grunts and pants leaving his lips as he got absorbed in feeling you this way after all this time.

Your nails dug into his back, and you could feel the muscles flex beneath your fingers and a sensual sigh left your lungs as you finally felt all of him.

One thought crossed your mind amidst the fog of pleasure that was spreading over your body. You’d let go of your fear now and you wanted to look for that connection again. Before, it had marked a level of certainty of your place here and overall mindset and if you couldn’t find it after all that had happened, there was a time where you would’ve been sure that it would mean there was no true way back for you. But now you understood that wasn’t and didn’t have to be the case. If it wasn’t there, you could work to get it back.

You used the Force around you to find his unique signature again and you could’ve wept with joy as you sensed it once more and it welcomed you with open arms. It had been waiting for you. You bridged the gap between you and allowed that feeling to flow through you. I love you.

Hunter paused his movements, and he stared down at you, a shocked but delighted cry left his mouth as he saw the broad and affirming smile on your face that told him he hadn’t imagined it. He’d wanted to have that back for so long and his heart soared as he realised what this meant for you. You weren’t holding back anymore; you were officially home.

You stroked a thumb along his cheekbone before clenched around him in an attempt to get him to keep going, a smug hum of laughter leaving you at the almost pained expression on his face as he got himself back under control before he started again.

“Do it again. Please.” Hunter requested frantically as he felt himself approaching his own release.

You smiled affectionately at him and continued to kiss him as you saw him through to his climax. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He finished with a strangled groan, and he collapsed on top of you. He stayed there for a few moments before he gently pulled out of you, stroking your hair as he saw you slightly wince at the action. “I’m sorry if it was too much.”

You shook your head. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” You reassured him as he laid down beside you and held you close to him. We should clean up.

Hunter made a sound of acknowledgement as he pressed his mouth to the crown of your head. “What made you do that again?”

“I let go.” You said simply before planting a chaste kiss to his lips before taking his hands in yours and guiding him to the refresher. “Come on.”

--

“What are you thinking?” Hunter asked as he watched you pick up the wrapped lightsaber from the shelf Wrecker had put it on. You hadn’t touched it since taking it from the bounty hunter.

“I can’t hold on to or fear the past anymore. We can only look to the future now and that future has us getting Omega back. And…” You uncovered the seemingly harmless looking weapon. “I think this will make achieving that easier.” You reached for it, hesitating for just a moment before you picked it up and it was an instant reaction. You took half a step back as the sensation of feeling that connection you hadn’t encountered for years threatened to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past as a youngling and echoes of previous battles and instructions from your master sounded in your head but it wasn’t scary this time, you were merely remembering the periods where this weapon had been your life.

Hunter placed a steadying hand on your shoulder. “You alright?”

You took one long breath. “Yeah. It’ll just take come getting used to, but it’s going to be worth it. I’m not hiding what I am these days, may as well have the whole image.” You said light-heartedly.

Hunter cupped your jaw and kissed you gently, both of you sighing contentedly into the sensation before Wrecker’s hesitant voice echoed through the comms.

“Um, Hunter… I hope I’m not interrupting eh anything now but um I was wondering if I could come back? I’ve started to wander in circles and I’m getting some suspicious looks.”

The two of you chuckled.

“Poor guy.” You said with a humorous shake of your head.

“Yeah, Wrecker, head on back and we can get outta here.” Hunter replied through his comm.

“Wrecker, how’d you fancy having an excuse to shoot at me?” You said into your comm, and the intrigued but excited cheer told you your answer.

“Shoot you?” Hunter repeated, titling his head at you inquisitively.

You grinned as you clipped your lightsaber to your waist. “Yeah, how else did you think I was going to train?”

--

“That’s 15 to 11!” Wrecker whooped as you came to after his stun blast hit your back.

Fuck you. You jabbed playfully as you accepted Hunter’s outstretched hand. He tugged you to your feet.

“You’re lasting longer.” Hunter commented supportively and- knowing you would want to go immediately again- walked away to take up his position.

You wiped the dirt from your clothing and removed your mask to take some deep breaths and find your centre again. Taking on jobs, following leads, mediating and lightsaber training… that was how you balanced your time; you were feeling more like the person you had been before your world had been torn apart. You’d never be able to be her again, but you could own who you are now and allow yourself to feel the emotions you’d been struggling against without suffocating in them anymore.

“But still not long enough!” Wrecker goaded. “I’ll always be in the lead!”

You didn’t take the bait. Instead, you took off your armour, gloves, and long-sleeved top.

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair.” Wrecker protested.

Hunter turned inquisitively and his breath hitched. A soft sheen of sweat graced your skin and your body rippled with strength and untapped potential… and fuck did it make his heart skip a beat and his blood run hot. He was grateful his helmet was still on because the way his eyes widened would’ve given you too much material to work with right now, but he wasn’t able to hide the way his hand slightly fumbled as he unholstered his blaster. He wasn’t embarrassed by finding you attractive in this way, the frequent teasing he’d often received for it just made it harder to focus on the task at hand.

“The training stays the same and my strategy is my own. It’s not supposed to have an effect on you anyway.” You retorted with a smug grin as Hunter’s reaction went exactly as you’d anticipated.

“You better not mess this up for us, Hunter.” Wrecker warned as he shoved his brother’s shoulder to snap him out his reverie.

You laughed to yourself as you watched them. You picked up your lightsaber and ignited it, the blue blade thrumming at your side, and you felt that rush of connection and security. Having a blaster by your side was nothing compared to this.

It was a powerful sight that Hunter never got used to and quite frankly, part of him was relieved he’d never come across you as an official Jedi General during the war because if his reaction to seeing you train and work towards unlocking whatever you had been tampering down for so many years was anything to by, he would’ve gotten himself shot a long time ago- half your earlier victories came from redirecting his own stun blasts to him.

You got into your stance and faced the two clones as they readied their blasters. “Alright, let’s go again.”

<Previous Oneshot

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @fuckoffthanos, @tpwkcalli, @graciexmarvel, @arctrooper69, @nightmonkeysstuff, @starwarsnerd111, @brujaporfavor, @flyingkangaroo, @sunkissedclones, @ladytano420, @keep-calm-and-drink-caf, @yyourmotherr, @xxeiraxx, @dragonrider9905, @skellymom, @lokigirlszendaya

[mystreet-liveblog]

Its not even the voices Aphmau needed to do in early seasons. I just have troubles where I take shows really seriously, so the no warning / no consent kissing or the people trying to find out everything about Aphmau's love life is just frustrating for me.

Autistic people taking things too seriously, what else is new?

I hear that, I too have the “tism”

But on the rewatch I kind of read it differently. It makes sense that Aph’s friends would be concerned about her love life since she hasn’t been interested in anyone since high school, her mom is notorious for hating boys, and half her male friends have crushes on her and she doesn’t reciprocate any of them. It’s an interesting situation and I know I’d be concerned, especially if I was Katelyn or KC

Katelyn sees Aph as a sister and knows that she’s had bad experiences with boys in the past (Gene and Ein, though I haven’t gotten to Ein in the rewatch yet so I may be misremembering some details) so of course she’d be suspicious of Laurance and the others across the street, Aaron who’s super suspicious and used to be a bully, and Zane who is literally Zane hahah

Meanwhile, KC is obsessed with shipping and she stands as an outlier who actively analyzes relationships and pairs them together in her mind as possible relationships, with her favorites being expressed more openly and verbally like a hyperfixation. It’s problematic but also not unheard of, and I can relate to analyzing your friends and deducing their compatibility (though not so much pressuring them into pursuing that compatibility :/). In the end she just wants to see all her friends happy, and she projects her own love of romantic love onto them

(KC actually reminds me a bit of Nepeta from Homestuck but that’s a conversation for a different day)

I do think the lack of consent coming from Laurance and his roommates is very weird and disturbing, but the conscious narrative seems aware that it’s problematic while the subconscious narrative plays it off as a joke. It’s not really that funny, but I guess that’s just part of the anime tropiness of the season.

The entire show, or at least the first seasons of MyStreet and PDH, was made to feel anime tropey and unfortunately that kind of nonconsensual humor is very anime. It’s a little nuanced tho that the rest of the show explores the “after they get together” situations rarely seen in romance anime, though, as well as abandoning the nonconsensual humor in favor of villainizing it and using it to characterize antagonists (sorry Laurance fans your fav is problematic <3)

I actually kind of realized through my rewatch that Laurance was the main instigator of these inappropriate actions and it’s really his own problem to work through. The rest follow him with the frat boy mindset and only come to their senses when actually thinking on their own lol

Like, I remember as a kid there being so many jokes about Travis touching peoples butts, but as far as I remember from my rewatch they were all accidents! That’s kind of funny actually! But the normalization of predatory behavior is very weird in S1 and I’m glad it’s gone in S2

In PDH S1, it’s only slightly justified by the students all being literal children who are working through their hormones and poor coping mechanisms. Both Laurance and Garroth kiss Aphmau without her consent and then swear her to secrecy, which is toxic as hell and its protrayed as such. Gene even threatens to kiss her in front of Aaron which is a whole other thing we don’t need to discuss at length cause I’m sure you get the point by now

But PDH-Aaron notably asks permission every time he does anything romantic with Aph and it’s sweet. In S1 of MyStreet, he does kiss her after the play without verbal consent, but it’s implied she did at least nonverbally consent in later episodes when discussing what happened. Regardless, that sort of content in S1 isn’t touched upon as the story goes on which makes it a lot better to me, and it shows the growth of the author alongside her characters

WOAH— SORRY FOR THE LONG RESPONSE!!!! I just found this topic interesting!!!! Hope you have fun reading this MOUNTAIN wow—

[x0401x]

No, but… that was a really good one, actually.

I might as well let this out. A lot of people are still losing their minds over episode 12, and I’m not even gonna try to pretend this isn’t to be expected. It’s not happening only on this side of the fandom—the Japanese one was also torn about it, although I’d argue they were much quicker to understand what KyoAni was going for with it.

Y’all know me. That goddamn studio owns my soul, but I’m not joining the “KyoAni did it again (even when they actually did not)” club in this lifetime or the next. If the changes made during the adaptation ruin the intention of the original work, no matter how good the animation is, a spade is still a spade and I address it at length when people ask my opinion. But that’s not what happened this time.

And guys, hear me out: it’s not as painful as everyone is making it to be. I’m dead-serious about that. Stick with me here.

Firstly, there’s a couple of conversations going on that we need to put to sleep. One of them, the one bothering me the most, is that Reina “chose Taki’s way of doing things over Kumiko”. Or worse, that she “chose winning at the nationals over Kumiko”. The episode itself debunks this in several ways, mainly by showing that flashback of S1. If Reina had chosen Kumiko despite thinking Mayu’s performance was better, Kumiko would’ve known, and it could very well have been the end of their friendship. She would’ve been outraged. In no universe would this scenario ever make her happy. More importantly, the flashback implies that Reina wants to choose Kumiko in spite of everything. What stops her from doing so is the fact that it would mean betraying Kumiko, which is worse than not being able to play with her on national stage one last time. Reina didn’t choose Kumiko… but she did.

None of this was about victory—it truly was a matter of meritocracy. Choosing the best members doesn’t guarantee they would win at the nationals, especially given that Mayu isn’t superior to Kumiko by a wide margin. They’re almost tied. And neither was any of it a Taki vs. Kumiko thing for Reina. She’s abrasive when it comes to defending his policies, but her belief in him isn’t blind. The fandom tends to underestimate Reina a lot because of her romantic feelings and mistakes her faith for stubbornness, even though both the novels and the anime are adamant about her good judgement. It’s not that she trusts him because she’s in love with him—she’s in love with him because he is worth her trust. Then again, this had nothing to do with him. It was all about Kumiko. She was the only thing in Reina’s mind the whole time. Taki wasn’t mentioned even in passing.

The other is that Kumiko’s loss was for shock value because the novel’s outcome was too obvious and KyoAni wanted to surprise the viewers. I’m not gonna lie, this decision was definitely meant to give the anime a so-called “plus alpha” in comparison to the original, but that’s not all there is to it. The main reason is obviously to have it be more grounded and mature, not so much your usual music anime, as well as make the whole debate about fairness actually convincing. The original is not only predictable, it’s also questionable. It’s easy for something to look like Deus Ex Machina even when that’s clearly not the intention, and KyoAni didn’t want Eupho to be that anime. By extension, they shot down every suspicion that could’ve possibly been raised about Kumiko’s win in the original work.

Of course Reina would’ve recognized Kumiko’s sound, so although most readers would know that she wouldn’t choose Kumiko for any reason other than her performance, it still leaves room for doubt. The anime slaps this doubt into outer space by constructing a situation where Reina deemed Mayu’s playing as superior, although by a hair’s breadth. It effectively answers the question of “what would she have done if that was the case?”. With the author having approved of this, it’s safe to say that, yes, that’s what Reina would have done in canon as well. And it would be the right choice, which then means that her choice in the original was also undebatably the right one. That Kumiko earned her win in the novel.

This may or may not have been intended, but either way, the anime has elevated the original work’s outcome by going for that route. After all, the original was predictable, sure, but that doesn’t mean it was unrealistic. These two things are being confused and conflated with one another a lot in many comments that I’ve been seeing out there. Realism doesn’t always have to be negative. Kumiko and Mayu had equal chances of winning. That’s what the audition was all about. The novel portrays what would’ve happened if Kumiko had won, while the anime portrays what would’ve happened if she had lost. Both are valid and the existence of one further validates the other, not the contrary.

What the author wanted to show was that, although Kumiko can’t follow Reina or her more talented senpais, she’s still an excellent player, enough to perform the solo on national competitions, and she wouldn’t let this get the better of her. It also seems like there was an element of “be careful with what you wish” as one of the morals behind Mayu’s arc, where she finally accepts her true feelings through regret rather than joy. Meanwhile, what KyoAni wanted to show is that, even if Kumiko is surpassed, she’s still an exceptional leader and has the makings of a fine teacher. In a way, the anime affirms that both Kumiko and Mayu play a special role in guiding Kitauji through the final tournament. Above all, both routes assert that Reina wouldn’t lie under any circumstances and that Kumiko (as well as Mayu) would indeed accept either result with utmost grace and understanding, no matter how frustrating it might be.

Another thing that the anime elevated is Kumiko and Reina’s bond. In my honest opinion, KumiRei has become the best female relationship in animation and one of the absolute best female relationships in fiction thanks to this episode. It’s transcended friendship, transcended gay, transcended fucking everything.

Alternative endings aren’t dead and they don’t always suck. Eupho continues to be one of the most amazing slice-of-life franchises ever.

[shootingstarrfish]

Funny thing, I got into Obey Me years ago because at the time I couldn’t get Mystic Messenger. Upon seeing if there was anything similar, I stumbled upon it and my life was literally changed forever.

My favorite is Luci but it did not start out like that, I actually thought I’d get with Asmo! I’m not usually into flirty characters but I was really into him for some reason. At the same time, my affection for Luci was growing very gradually.

He intrigued me when I first started but Asmo took the spotlight so I didn’t pursue him too much other than that initial “he’s pretty.” I think it first started with when we get transported into Levi’s game and we catch him skipping on the roof, I found that contrast from his usual demeanor interesting I guess. Again though, my love for him grew very gradually and it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read S1 of OG OM! so I don’t remember when I really said “Yeah, I want him” but by the time he asks MC who they are interested in (when everyone goes “missing”), I clicked him right away.

He’s so interesting. He’s (obviously) very prideful but not in a “Ohoho! I am so above you! Watch me do everything better than you!” way a lot of prideful characters are portrayed but more in a “I know I am better than you, I don’t have anything to prove.” And it’s not like he’s all bark, like, he actually is powerful and stuff. But it’s also a mask he uses to make sure no one worries about him or think he’s weak to take advantage of him. He doesn’t show his moments of weakness because he’s too prideful until MC, where he feels comfortable enough to let those walls down.

I love this man a lot! I love the subtle way he takes care of his siblings and how, despite all their complaints, they all understand. I love how he can be very flirty but also very soft with MC. I love how protective he is of those he cares about and the lengths he’s go through for them. I love this old man and am forcing him to go to bed.

Anyway that’s my rant/lowkey character analysis lol he’s a very big comfort character for me

omg i think its SO funny that i started off basically the opposite of you. i saw lucifer at the start and i was like WOAH HE'S PRETTY,,, WHO IS HE 👀👀 and didn't pay much attention to asmo initially

hes absolutely such an interesting character to dive into, i love all the subtleties in his character and the things that only peek through after you've known him for a while and the way he's totally not as sophisticated as you might first think

thank you for sharing your luci thoughts with me!! reading this made me very happy haha <3333 please make him get some sleep he needs it badly...

[thisreadswhatever]

Do you ever think about how you would have ended SOA?

I have a few ways I would have wanted it to go.

☺️

literally constantly 😭 I have many thoughts.. I could talk about this all day.

I think if I was going to rewrite it (which I could literally never do - the way Kurt wove all of those storylines together was ingenious)

Opie lives. the end.

no but seriously, Opie dying changed Jax and turned him into such a darker character which yeah, hot, but also, I’m a romantic at heart and soft Jax is my favourite Jax. unless he’s crushing my throat while he’s dicking me down, in that case, the darker the better.

I guess the only other major thing I’d change is when Otto killed the nurse to kill RICO and involved Tara. I feel like before that happened Tara had a pretty good grip on “the life”.. after that she spiralled.

I’ve rewatched it maybe 9 times from S1-7 all the way through, (yes my partner is concerned for my well-being). I used to be so annoyed by Tara but after having a baby I empathise with her so much more. I get why she made the decisions she did.. despite the fact I don’t agree with them, she had seen sooo much violence and death by that point I really think she felt she had no other way out. that scene where she begs Jax not to hurt her.. it breaks me everytime! had Otto not implicated her in the nurse’s murder, she wouldn’t have began plotting to get out, Jax would’ve kept his club, his wife, and his family, had all of that not spun out of control. RICO could’ve fizzled out some other way.

then there’s Clay. Jax would’ve had to settle that score the same way. I think he had enough proof of Clay’s involvement with JT’s death, Piney’s murder, Tara’s hit by the Cartel, etc etc etc (like seriously fuck that guy), for him to die the same way. he had to go. also I’d of tied Gemma up in that same fate. she was just a much apart of JT’s death as Clay was, and Tara could’ve proven that if she’d just shown Jax the fucking letters. (I guess I’d change that too.)

basically, I’d change everything that led to Tara and Jax’s demise. I guess the romantic in me just wanted them to have a happy ending. but we all know how Hamlet went, so I guess it was never meant to be *sobs*

I have so many more thoughts but that’s just some of what I may change! thanks for asking!

[blue-b-bro]

The Silk and metamorphosis

So, I was rewatching s1 and we have that scene:

And I was thinking. Ed sounds like it’s the first time he saw/toched cashmere, he sounds fascinated. And I was in the middle of writing the color meta, co of course I noticed the color of the fabric.

But let’s make a step back. What’s Ed relationship with silk? The symbol of vulnerability, softness, unobtainable luxury. It’s important that Ed had only this much of silk in his life.

But Stede, even tho in universe could afford all of those beautiful clothes, didn’t wear them before the Revenge. He doesn’t wear all soft and luxurious fabrics at his house. So it’s not about the money.

And now, going back to cashmere. Why cashmere? To show how rich Stede is? How frivolous he is, buying exquisite cashmere and marmalade instead of gun powder? 

This is a scene where Ed meets Stede (like consciously) and discovers his world of wonder Ed couldn’t even dream of, couldn’t because it was “forbidden” for him to want it, but also, because he didn’t know it could be this incredible! So Stede’s life is even better, than Ed’s idea of happiness. (kinda sad ngl) (notice tho that all those clothes are in a secret wardrobe, not on display for others to see or damage)

Now, what we know about silk and cashmere:

“Silk and cashmere are both incredibly soft. However, their softness comes with different feelings. Silk feels more like a gentle breeze, while cashmere is like a fluffy cloud.”

“Although a strong material, silk can be torn much easier than cashmere.”

“On average, silk is cheaper than cashmere, but it all depends on the quality and manufacturer.”

So if silk is Ed’s vision of happiness, his soft side, his heart, and cashmere is Stede’s, then I’d say Ed’s vision of happiness is something less demanding (like, accepting what you get and not asking for more, thing), and Stede’s takes a lot of work*, like, a lot, but the results are stronger and more valuable (I’m not saying Stede has it, more like he aims for it, and offers that to Ed as well).

Going back to silk, because I have more deranged theories. What is silk made of? The cocoons of silkworms. What is a silkworm? A moth. A nighttime butterfly. What cocoons and butterflies symbolizes? Metamorfosis, turning into something better, different, more beautiful. And what moths symbolizes additionally? 

“(...) positive transformation in your life, one that will lead to new spiritual wisdom. When a caterpillar becomes a moth, it loses its old self, but it gains the ability to fly. In the same way, you’re moving on from the person you used to be and becoming a more spiritually enlightened version of yourself.”

“In one Buddhist story, the Buddha notices that moths who fly recklessly into the flame get burned, while moths that move cautiously toward the light survive. This represents the dangers of chasing pleasure heedlessly. When humans get attached to sensory pleasures, they can get consumed, like moths to the flame.”

“Moths are attracted to light, and some cultures associate this with a soul’s journey toward "the light" when passing from life to death. In Chinese folklore, moths are also associated with the souls of loved ones who have passed away, and many believe they bring messages from the afterlife.”

“Moths are nocturnal, and they can find their way around in the dark. This symbolizes your own ability to navigate the world based on your instincts and inner knowledge.”

Maybe it’s red threading at this point, but whatever, it fits Ed, ok?

Before we continue in that direction, let’s go to episode 7. Stede buys the fake map and they find, by accident, a moth, apparently a rare one (surprisingly I didn't go deeper into why that moth specifically, but it's yellow&pink) Who we associate with moths? Ed. Stede, going on his pirate adventure, following stories about how pirate life looks like (fairy tales and other reliable sources), finds Ed, completely by accident. Found him and his beautiful, soft side, he so rarely shows. And Ed of course calls it just a bug. Of course he does. But Stede is delighted! (and the map is destroyed, as if destroying the false idea of what their relationship should look like, and they followed their heart from then on, etc.)

Let’s go back, to metamorphosis. Ed thinks he’s a bad person, and is afraid he cannot change that, that’s just what he is. And here comes the deranged Buttons's side plot: he says he cannot love the sea properly in his human form and decided, on his own volition, that he will transform into a bird. And he did! In front of Ed. And Ed looked like his whole worldview changed completely. “Fly brother” and all. He’s suddenly full of hope! (also Izzy, from just a useful tool, became a family member, with the power of love and wooden leg in this episode, no I’m not crying, don’t touch me)

*Cashmere goats produce a double fleece that consists of a fine, soft undercoat or underdown of hair mingled with a straighter and much coarser outer coating of hair called guard hair. For the fine underdown to be sold and processed further, it must be de-haired. De-hairing is a mechanical process that separates the coarse hairs from the fine hair. De-hairing is made slightly easier by removing the undercoat by hand, rather than shaving the entire coat. This process takes much longer to remove the cashmere, but produces a much finer, higher quality fiber.

[nikkiruncks]

How would you heal Jackie and Kelso's relationship -- make it healthy in seasons: 1, 2, 3, and 4?

Meaning in season 4, the canon version of J/K's relationship and break-ups through S1-3 happened.

In season 3, the canon version of J/K's relationship and break-ups through S1-2 happened.

In season 2, the canon version of J/K's relationship and break-ups through S1 happened.

In season 1, you have the most freedom with your answer.

This is a multi-part ask. Four different answers for four different scenarios. If you want to answer one at a time and make separate posts for each, feel free! 😀

Season 1:

Take out the cheating, the controlling aspect, Kelso claiming he’ll break up with Jackie and using her to get stuff, begging Jackie for sex, etc.

Jackie and Kelso would still be together since the pilot, and the gang would still be annoyed with Jackie, but instead of claiming he’ll breakup with her, Kelso would defend Jackie and say that while she’s not perfect, he loves her and that as his friends, they should be happy that he’s with someone who makes him happy.

Instead of controlling Kelso and berating him, Jackie would challenge him to be more assertive. To have more self respect, instead of tearing him down.

Kelso would be a little more confident when it comes to calling out Jackie. And he’d be someone that Jackie can genuinely lean on and who would support her.

Jackie would still have the pregnancy scare and Kelso would be supportive through it all despite being scared himself. They might still breakup and then get back together at prom, but for the most part, they’d stay together.

Season 2:

No cheating. I’d have that Kelso/Laurie scene be treated for what it was: rape and assault. He’s scared of telling anyone, especially Jackie because he doesn’t want her to leave him.

Laurie would keep trying to seduce Kelso, but he wouldn’t have it. Jackie would be jealous and insecure since he had cheated on her in the past with Pam Macy, but Kelso would make sure she knows that he loves her and will never screw her over again. From there on, they’d be smooth sailing.

But Laurie, wanting to cause trouble, would say something implying that she and Kelso hooked up. Leaving Jackie insecure, hurt, and confused. Kelso would then tell her about everything that happened in the van. Jackie would hold him and say that it isn’t his fault. And they’d stay together and happy.

Season 3:

I actually like how they were written in s3 so I’d keep it mostly the same. But after Kelso’s apology and their reunion is where things change.

Jackie wouldn’t be dumbed down and she’d still be doing HW on Friday nights. And Kelso’s math skills would be brought back. So they’d challenge one another to be better in school and graduate.

Also the “proposal” would not have the “I wanted to fool around with you” line and he would say “I wanted to be around you more”.

Season 4:

Jackie wouldn’t be jealous of Kelso’s modeling job and actually be supportive of him. She’d still end up getting that cheese job and the kiss would still happen. Instead of being pissed at Jackie, Kelso would be like “so this is how i made you feel all those years. Just when I thought I didn’t hurt you worse.”

Kelso would understand Jackie because of what happened with him and Laurie in the season 2 premiere. So none of this “kiss any girl you want” bs, nor the breakup, nor the magazine bs. They’d have honest and open communication. And no marriage plot or anything like that. But they’d be very stable and happy. Also, Kelso and Jackie would be going to couples counseling.

[abnerkrill]

This is spurred by my social anxiety, and your very well written and interesting post about the insidiousness of the ROP critiques. So ignore if you want.

I’m someone who has not watches the show. I definitely had the initial aggressive reaction of Amazon is Evil don’t touch MY 2nd Age!!!😡

I decided to see if I changed my mind based on tumblr osmosis, and hold off on watching dependent on if I liked what I saw.

I personally liked what I saw of the dwarves and the Nùmenor designs and casting. Like I’d have enjoyed a beard on Disa but otherwise she looks awesome and I have no complaints whatsoever about how Nùmenor looks.

But I have a visceral (shallow and petty) negative reaction to Elrond, Gil-Galad, Finrod, and Celebrimbor’s faces. The “just some guy” complaint.

Is that racist and fascist? Like I know it’s nitpicky and petty, but I don’t want to buy into the toxic conservatism, you know?

hey friend, thanks for asking, always happy to discuss rop in good faith!! the casting of elrond, celebrimbor, and gil-galad is something i've seen a smattering of criticism about, so you're not alone. and i genuinely don't see disliking the casting as a problem (esp not related to anything racist/fashy since they're all white dudes playing white dudes lol!!) but honestly, i'd suggest watching the show and seeing their performances, since it'll give you a far better picture of who the characters are than just in still images/gifs.

i was not sold on robrond (robert elrond) for a long time, because i kinda thought he looked like peter pan--till the culmination of his storyline with durin. then i was 100% fucking SOLD because of the performance and chemistry. that made me reappraise the casting, which imho is GREAT for a young elrond still figuring out his place in the world. short hair and all—i feel like there's a distinct possibility we'll get long hair elrond in future seasons :)

similarly with celebrimbor. i know silm celebrimbor and popular fanon interpretation is very different from charles edwards celebrimbor. but over the course of the show, it was the charm and energy that won me over. and... i get the thirst now. i do. his energy is incredibly charismatic.

gil-galad unfortunately isn't a huge part of s1 (though it's confirmed he'll be more major moving forward--bear mccreary is also composing a gil-galad theme for the soundtrack already!!) not everyone has been convinced, but i'll be honest there is a s1 episode 8 moment that actually really endeared him to me and now i'm similarly sold!

i think it's totally fair to have that initial petty/shallow negative reaction if you don't think they look right for elves/don't think they're hot (sorry 2 the actors lol!!!!) because that's a pretty personal metric anyway. but watching onscreen is a very different experience from just seeing still images and gifs. you might be surprised--i certainly was (...i've written the elrond x durin fanfic i wanted to see in the world and i am now SUPER attracted to robrond. rip my life.) let me know what you think, i promise i'm happy to receive asks and messages and i'm not scary :D

[writingforfun0714]

Spoilers for Tales of the Jedi!!

*not story related*

I know I said before I disliked the short runtimes of the episodes, but I was correct in that the stories/music were fantastic!

BUUUT!!!

What is with the clone model?!?Rex looks exactly the same in CW. It’s obvious with Obi-wan, Anakin, Ahsoka, and even Mace that their designs have been redone to keep with the slicker, nicer animation (advancing technology). While everyone looks better, Rex still looks exactly the same with the sharp, angular lines.

I’m honestly not surprised that Rex’s design didn’t change, but I must admit that I had hoped, deep down, that they would’ve changed the model (even just a bit like they did with the other characters). Disney does listen to SW fans if we shout loud enough so they technically could’ve changed the clone model to be more like Temuera Morrison (I know Disney would never apologize for the racism, but any change, even a little, is welcome). But again, I’m really not surprised Rex’s model didn’t change. Just disappointed.

Even though the stories and music were amazing, the fact that Rex/the clone model hasn’t changed isn’t just racism, it’s sloppy animation. It hurt as a POC and as an artist to see. Don’t get me wrong, everything else animated looks great. It’s just that Rex/the clone model wasn’t updated, making him appear off and out of place with the rest of the scenes. It also made Rex look older (whether unintentional or not). Like yes, the clones all have accelerated aging (except for Boba/Omega obviously), but everyone else slightly aged with each time skip but Rex looked old from the beginning (S1 version of Anakin/Ahsoka scene). Would’ve loved to see the lines on his face appear rather than just be there like they were for the clone model in CW.

I just…wish Disney would acknowledge the clones being whitewashed. I don’t need an apology. I don’t. It’s been so long. I just want them to change the model. Even a little bit at a time until they look like Temuera Morrison. I’d say that they look more accurate in their older, Rebel’s design than the CW animation style. Rebels isn’t completely accurate, but it’s better than CW’s/BB’s version. Listen, they could’ve changed the clone model for TotJ and if people were ???/didn’t like it, Disney/Filoni could’ve stated Rebels as an inspiration or something. I like Filoni as a storyteller, but the racism whether intentional or not has now started hurting the SW community. I love Dee Bradley Baker. He’s an amazing VA like Tara Strong or Grey DeLisle. But he shouldn’t have been cast as the clones in the first place. It should’ve been Temuera Morrison, Daniel Logan or another New Zealand VA.

It’s interesting that they did that for Bad Batch’s Omega. Her VA is Michelle Ang, a woman from New Zealand in her mid 30’s (who imho does NOT sound like a child at all). Like they knew to get a NZ VA for Omega, but not for the clones? I’ll be honest and say that I don’t know why Baker got the job (I know he and Filoni worked on AtLA together so I wasn’t sure if that had something to do with it). Baker tried but it just didn’t work. That’s why Omega’s accent sounds so different compared to the rest of CF99.

I’m assuming that Filoni is just one of those guys that if gets called a racist, just digs his heels in deeper and denies it, though doesn’t do anything to prove that he isn’t. People care a lot about being called racist, but don’t really do anything about it.

If you wanna learn more about whitewashing in the SW fandom, specifically about the clones, go check out @unwhitewashthebadbatch

There’s amazing info about what is whitewashed specifically, POC in the SW fandom, how to support POC and their organizations, etc. I saw it one day on my feed and am so happy to have found a place to get info.

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: Acafellas

Oof this ep. Happy to skip all the Will stuff... Honestly, for teen shows, I hate when so much time is spent on the adults? Like, if I wanted that, I’d watch a drama about adults? This is a high school show? We care about the kids? They should be focus. Imagine the show with like... even half the amount of Will plot. More time on the New Directions... would be so much better. Maybe Matt would get a line lol

This outfit will always kill me. Kurt babe, no.

And tbh... Rachel has a point? Legit every ND performance, their choreo is just... not the best? Esp compared to VA. I’ll discuss more later but... they could use some help with the dancing. And once they have more members, they can try something more interesting than standing in a line or walking in circles and jumping.

Anyway...

Aww Kurtcedes!! Notice Kurt not only has hairspray, but also extra clothes in his locker. Prob bc of dumpsters/slushies. Yikes.

And poor Mercedes, all lonely. Does make me wonder about her life before. She has church choir friends and she didn’t seem super unpopular until glee club? Who did she hang with??

And the crush... Like she is sus at first, but Quinn and Santana ofc try to sway her. And I get it, Kurt is the first guy to be sweet to her and they def have fun together. And you know what, kudos for Mercedes for looking past stereotypes and giving it a chance. Bc yah, writers def put a lot of stereotypes into Kurt...

I wonder if he was just making a joke or if he actually practiced kissing his elbow lol. And notice, he’s much more comfortable being close with Mercedes, linking arms. So sweet.

Ah, the Lincoln Navigator. I do wonder how into cars Kurt was... we deserved more mechanic!Kurt (esp since we know he worked in the shop)

First mention of his dad. He’s all set up as prob being anti-gay. I wonder about Burt’s intentions. We see in 2009 how he threatened to take away Kurt’s sewing machine. They aren’t v close yet, so when it comes to laying down the law Burt is kinda flying blind. And part of this is his discomfort with Kurt being fem, but I’m sure part of it is his dad worrying. He doesn’t want his son to have a hard life.

And aw, Mercedes thinking she’s asking out Kurt while he’s just happy to have a friend to watch Liza Minelli with. Oof.

I also love how many VA performances we see and still no Jessie. He was just... away for the first semester. Or something.

So we had the ‘Gay-vention’ bc Kurt is ‘lady fabulous’ oof. 

And he wore a corset to class? And we don’t see this?? Rude.

And the iconic. Kurt is just so relaxed and happy and then Mercedes drops the bomb and Kurt is just. Shook. He just wanted a friend. He’s def not ready to come out, but he thought it was pretty clear without him having to actually say it. 

He says he made it obvious that he liked someone else? But his crush on Finn doesn’t seem v overt yet? Maybe he was more open around Mercedes? Or maybe it was just bc they needed the setup for him to say Rachel?

Either way, poor Kurt gets his windows busted, but he also witnesses the amazing performance. Def one of the best from s1

Him crying int he background, aww poor guy. He loves his car.

Ah, misfits banding together. The lesson we’ll learn every ep this season lol. 

Dakota is a jerk but omg his lines

“Artie you’re cut, you’re not trying hard enough” “At what?” “At walking”

Well, at least he knows Artie’s name??

“Stay away from aerosol cans cuz you could burst into flames at any second” omg poor Kurt. Glad he joins the walkout bc he’s not down for this bs.

Kurt says he has a tiara collection and we never see it. See, we keep getting told that Kurt dresses ‘like a girl’ but never really see it? He plays with gender, sure, but his style is always more masc leaning. Just not ‘typical’ masc so ppl find it weird. Ugh.

Also, his locker. Having guys abs... yeah, not exactly hiding lol. And the quote says “I would never ever have had the confidence to be in a school play” and excuse while I overthink.

I tried googling and don’t think it’s from anything specific? If someone knows, pls let me know. Also, just makes me even more sad he never got to properly star in... any play? We had a bit in Rocky Horror and he was great as Riff Raff but just... I’ll go into it s3 but damn it bugs me.

Anyway, shows how great Kurtcedes is bc she immediately goes to apologize, he trusts her enough to come out... like this is Glee, it could easily have been dragged out, but they settle it here in this sweet scene...

And that hesitation, the little choke on the word, this is definitely he’s said the words out loud and my heart cannot take it. I love that he gets this, he gets to come out. Everyone assumed his sexuality, but he gets this moment with Mercedes where she was ready to accept his crush on Rachel but he takes the step to open up and come out and I just love that.

And interesting how we get this and then the coming out to his dad, but not to everyone else? Maybe after Preggers he just accepts the comments? Doesn’t deny it? Bc ppl all assume he’s gay anyway.

And that also makes it so much harder bc he’s not ‘straight passing’ so even when he’s closeted everyone keeps bullying him for something he was barely able to admit to himself.

And Chris Colfer has talked about this, how after Preggers the media all just assumed he was gay too and he couldn’t really control his coming out and that breaks my heart and I could have a whole rant about media but.... not the time.

So ya, it sucks that Kurt didn’t have as much control, I’ll discuss more in Preggers tho.

[hopeshoodie]

For the LITG ask game: 22, 24, 25, 38, 48

22. Are there any non-canon couples you think should have been canon? 

Boah oh my god oh my godddddd. Or at least a canon scene of Noah rejecting Bobby sakjlkdjfksd.

24. Pick 3 end-game couples and tell us how long you think they lasted after the show?

Hope and Noah barely make it a couple of months. Hope is reckoning with the media firestorm, Noah’s clear pining after MC on the show, and disliking her own actions, but when she tries to confront/work through it with Noah he’s reaction is to avoid the conversation. They have one too many fights on the phone and break up a couple months after. 

 I kiiiinnndaaaaa… Think Elisa and Bobby lasted after the show. Like Elisa likes having Bobby on her feed to drum up interest from fans and he’s happy to go on a date and be her photographer (also he’s not bad in bed), and I think Bobby is complacent in relationships that he’s not fully committed to. I feel like they have a friends with benefits relationship for a couple of months after the show, even if neither of them would consider it ‘dating’. Their situationship lasts longer than Hope and Noah’s, and none of the other couples from season 2 (because Sveta disrupts Jo/Rahim and ultimately ends up with Noah, meaning Jo and Rahim don’t have time to get in deep with each other) last past the show. 

Viv and Seb stay together for years, because they like each other well enough and neither of them have motivation/desire to seek out someone who suits them better. It’s not really a passionate love affair type relationship as it is them being comfortable around each other. Like they’re both so low-drama and supportive of the other, that it seems like sort of an inevitability than a choice they’re actively making. They’re roommates and best friends before they’re lovers. 

25. What is your most controversial/unpopular LITG opinion?

While I think S2 is the most compelling season, I think the format of S1 is most effective. The condensed season makes it more replayable, the limited love interests makes each character/route unique, there aren’t chapters that I slogged through like with S2. 

I think the biggest thing for me is that I’d prefer to only have 2-5 love interests, if it meant that each other has a really distinct, well written route that makes sense with the characters’ personality and motivations. I think the trend of making every character romanacable/endgame or creating characters specifically made to be appealing as an endgame option cheapens the story. I know that’s ‘the point’ of these kinds of reality tv dating sims, but personally for me the point has always been dating sims with conflicts/stories driven by distinct characters instead of ‘how do we make the hottest character possible?’. Because ultimately I think the romantic scenes between MC and the LI are the least impactful part of the game, it’s the friendship scenes and the story arcs where characters are developed and the relationships between NPCs that stick with me. 

38. Do you have any opinions (on the story or the characters) that have drastically changed since you started playing?  

When I first played the game I was obsessed with Talia, but with time I’ve kind of come to regard her as shallow (in writing not in character) and lifeless when compared to Jake, Rohan, Erikah or Tim. 

I’ve had this whole Thing™ with Bobby where I went from not caring about him, to hating him, to begrudgingly liking him, to ‘reclaiming’ him as a gay icon and only disliking his ardent stans.

I think originally when I played the game I stereotyped Lucas a bit too hard as the ‘sexy rich bad boy player’ and ended up conflating that with him dating lots of women or being flippant about romantic relationships, which is a disservice. I do think he came from a rich household, but that’s not as much part of his personality as it is his worldview and tastes (but he’s not as aware of ‘I’m rich therefore I’m hot’ as I originally thought he was). His manipulativeness/flippancy towards MC during the Blake situation contributed to that player idea, but I think he either wasn’t that into MC or he felt too into MC and panicked- depending on the playthrough. Ultimately I’ve changed my opinion of him to be more nuanced than I originally thought, lmao. 

48. If you could pick any 2 characters from different seasons and swap them into each other's seasons, who would you pick? Why? 

Jake into season 2 so he could be there for Hope and Lottie into season 1 because she deserves it, lmfao. 

Genuinely, I think Seb would have had a field day in S2 (he would have been the hot potato that Marisol, Lottie, Chelsea, and Priya passed around, to his chagrin), and I think we need someone like Lottie or Hope in S3 to create any modicum of conflict. 

[mainstoryarchive]

Revolution - 49: Refreshments

Translator: Creampuffs

Makoto: *Munch munch* ♪

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Soundproof Lesson Room

Makoto: *Munch munch* ♪

Wow, these are good… whatever they are. These round clumps are pretty hard to describe. I dunno what they are, but they’re delicious!

Hokuto: There are slices of lemon soaked in honey and energy drinks too.

I don’t know what this round clump is, but it does seem to be edible.

*Munch munch* In fact, it’s delicious.

Mao: Shinobu Sengoku from the Ninja Association caught a whiff of the food and stopped by the Garden Terrace.

He taught us how to make these "round clumps" there.

They’re apparently emergency ninja rations called hyorogan or "ration pills[1]". He also said something like "300km per pill[2]", but I dunno what he meant by that.

Hokuto: Sengoku… Oh, I’ve heard of him. He’s that strange first-year, isn’t he?

I’ve seen him wrap a long loincloth around his waist and run off at the speed of light. It looks like he was trying to keep the front flap of the loincloth off the ground.

Mao: Yup, that’s him. The "Ninja Association" is pretty small, so they don’t have a lot of funds.

I wanted to help him out however I could, so I’ve been passing odd jobs from the Student Council to him.

Sengoku apparently feels indebted to me. He even helped us carry all the refreshments the Transfer Student made all the way here, you know~?

Hokuto: I see. I’d like to thank him for his help.

Mao: Sengoku’s pretty shy, so he’s left already. But I think he’s gotten a bit attached to the Transfer Student?

Makoto: Ohh. She didn’t have any issues talking with the scary Kiryu-senpai or Oogami-kun, either, huh.

The Transfer Student’s amazing. You can befriend people so easily~

Hokuto: Hm, that’s a rare trait to have. It would surely be a necessary skill for a producer. You seem like a promising producer, Transfer Student.

I’m happy to see you’ve done your best to research and make us these refreshments. Thank you, Transfer Student. Your very existence is like a pillar of support for us.

Hokuto: Hm? What’s that? A cooler?

Oh? There are "konpeito[3] cream puffs" inside, you say…? What’s that? It sounds intriguing!

You say you made them specifically for me? How did you know I like konpeito candy?

Subaru: Hehehe. She said she wanted to get to know us better, so I’ve been telling her about us for the past week~

It’d be better if she knew all of our preferences, right? ☆

Hokuto: I see. So you wanted to learn about us. That makes me happy.

*Munch munch*

It’s an odd combination, but it’s not bad. "Konpeito cream puffs"… I think it might be a bit too much sugar before a practice session, though.

Therefore, I’ll take them home and… I’ll eat them carefully, little by little.

Subaru: Hey, are you trying to keep them to yourself again, Hokke~!? I wanna eat them, too! That’s not fair – all I’ve been eating are these ration pills!

Mao: Stop arguing, guys. Let’s just get along now, okay~?

Hokuto: Hm. I think my fatigue has worn off thanks to the Transfer Student, but we can’t rest forever. Let’s resume our practice.

I’d like to decide on the songs and then centre our practice on them. “S1” is just around the corner – we have no time to waste.

I have an idea… Let’s briefly dance along to the new songs from the Light Music Club.

The Transfer Student will watch and give us her opinion.

And we’ll use her opinion as a reference when deciding the tracklist for our “S1” performance.

Makoto: Oh, that’s what Sakuma-senpai said. The Transfer Student’s basically an amateur, so we can get the raw truth~

Hokuto: Yeah. We’re performers, so we’d be poisoning ourselves if we just practise based on our own opinions.

It’ll be better for the Transfer Student, who has no prior knowledge, to judge us based on her intuition.

Moreover, it seems she has a good grasp on our preferences and personalities.

Her opinions and decisions should point us on the right path.

We’ll leave it to you to decide our course of direction, "producer".

Subaru: Well, just take it easy and don’t think too hard about it. We’ll be happy if you just tell us honestly what you thought about it~

[ ☆ ]

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Hyorogan (兵糧丸) / ration pills are made with various flours, sugary substances and spices to provide quick energy; usually consumed in emergencies or long missions. Unlike the name suggests, they’re not small like pills, but rather, around the size of an average strawberry.

This phrase typically means eating one pill provides you with enough energy to run 300 kilometres.

Konpeito are a type of colourful sugar candy from Japan that are round with small, soft spikes.

[winderlylandchime]

Anyway when we got home from the ER he had a package waiting for him and it was basically like a care package from “his girls” aka the drag queens that he’s friends with back home. They sent him some usual normal stuff like his favorite candies and some snacks and just random stuff that he really likes. But the best part of it was that he pulled out four shirts they had made for him. One of them has ‘Team Brian’ written on it but this one is actually printed on and not written with a sharpie so he can now stop rewriting it every time he washes it (yes, thats what he has been doing lately). The second shirt had a picture of Brian inside of a heart (it was a picture of him in the Pride ep where he’s sitting on the steps and he’s wearing sunglasses right before Justin joins Jen in the parade), the third shirt had a picture of Justin on it during s1/2(?) where he had that shirt on it that said too busy too fcuk. And yes his photo was also in a heart. And the fourth shirt was the one that kinda made him tear up, which i thought was adorable. It had a picture of “his girls” in full drag on it and under it they had ‘(his name) girls’ written on it. They also wrote him a note that was really sweet and continues to make me curious as to what type of life he lives back home ngl (maybe i should move in with him for a few months next and see how the other side lives). But my favorite part of the note was when they wrote ‘we can’t have you walking around in bad fake merch. We tried to find some good real one but we couldn’t agree on anything so we just made it ourself.. next time maybe get hooked on something that social media was around to witness.’ And then the PS they wrote for Brian made me laugh because honestly same, it just said ‘PS I’d wanna fuck him too, i get it now’ so he now officially has unofficial merch and he was so happy with it that he immediately ran to the neighbor who has seen qaf to show him his new merch. And in case you wanted to know: while I fully expected him to put the Brian shirt on first, it was actually his girls shirt he put on first. And he made me take a picture of him wearing it so he could send it to them. And he showed me their texts and they were all so sweet but the best part was that all of them wrote a different version of ‘bitch what the fuck happened to your arm’ and one of them wrote a text that somehow managed to describe the last few months of my life and it read ‘i thought you went there to get better? Why do you keep getting more injured?’ BUT he is really happy with his little care package and with his shirts and this is honestly the most ridiculous thing in the world. I never thought THIS is where my straight brother would’ve ended up when he said he wanted to see the show.

ANON! This is the sweetest thing I've heard in a long time.

Your brother really has a whole drag family, doesn't he? They're making him t-shirts and sending him a care package? I love it.

next time maybe get hooked on something that social media was around to witness <- so true. In some ways I'm glad QAF is fairly untouched by social media but on the other hand, there is so little content as a result.

PS I’d wanna fuck him too, i get it now <- ALL of us regardless of gender or sexual orientation

It's so sweet that the first shirt he put on was of his girls and very sweet that they responded:‘i thought you went there to get better? Why do you keep getting more injured?’

You know, I talk a big game about loving drag. I should really get involved with my local drag scene more and have queens that will send me unofficial official merch if I'm ever recovering from surgery. Your brother is a hero (in this sense!).

[come-with-me-to-mexico]

so i watched the newlyweds game interview again and two questions caught my attention and i have a lot of feelings about them, so i’m going to rant.

so the first question „who fell in love first“:

and „who fell in love harder“:

now. i think ian fell in love fast and very naturally. sure, frank and monica weren’t good relationship role models, and the older gallaghers weren’t either (being bad at relationships runs in the family, and ian is weirdly or not weirdly at all probably the most functional in this area, apart from the old men he dated maybe, but that’s another question entirely). frank and monica def influenced him, which we’ve seen in the show plenty of times. BUT the relationships between the siblings were very loving and affectionate. ian knew love and what it’s like to love and be loved. plus, he didn’t really have a problem with being gay (if he did, he accepted himself long before s1). there was nothing holding him back from falling in love with mickey.

mickey, however, had no loving family relationships (sure, he had good relationships with some of them, but it wasn’t anything we could call a loving relationship, not like ian had), and he had terry. he had to deal with this first. i dont think mickey himself had a problem with being gay, but terry’s words and opinions and fists were so deeply engraved in mickey, mickey had to learn to hate being gay to survive. he had to learn to not feel to stay alive. it wasn’t even a question of „i like you but i know i can’t“ for him. It’s not like mickey couldn’t admit to liking ian. in the beginning, he simply couldn’t like ian. i don’t think he was able to, with terry in his head.

but then BUT THEN the second mickey comes out, ian is it for him, he is gone for ian. i remember being so surprised at how soft and gentle mickey is with ian, but it’s not surprising at all, is it? mickey’s always been a loving person and he’s always cared about ian, it was just never allowed to come out (pun not intended). if ian’s bipolar didn’t start acting up in a big way, both of them would be finally on the same page.

ian gets very sick, though, and you know mental illnesses make you push people away, not always in a „you’re better of without me“ way, sometimes it simply makes sense to you even though it doesn’t to anyone healthy, because mental illnesses don’t usually make logical sense. (idk if the breakup would have happened if noel didn’t leave the show, but lets say it happened and noel stayed – ian gets better, deals with his own shit, and is able to come back to mickey. if noel didn’t leave the show, i’d actually like the breakup, because to me as person with a mental illness, it makes sense).

fast forward to mexico. ian is so happy he’s got mickey next to him again. he realizes trevor or caleb don’t come anywhere close to what mickey is to him, and i like to think he also realizes that nobody else ever will, either. he’s SO ready do go with mickey.

then mickey says „what am i leaving behind, my family?“

and i remember my heart breaking when i watched this for the first time, because i knew that was it for ian, that was The One Thing he needed to hear to realize that he can’t leave with mickey. mickey says this, and ian thinks of his family, his life he’s built for himself, and this is not him anymore.

mickey loves ian, would do anything for ian, would give up and sacrifice everything for ian (which he did, went to prison for him twice). he’s got nothing to lose apart from ian, right?

but ian does. he’s got a family and a life.  he would do anything for mickey, but not everything. he would sacrifice anything, but not everything (which is a very healthy thing, so yay for ian, he made the right choice not going to mexico even though it breaks his, mickey’s, and our hearts).

anyway.

MEXICO IS SO IMPORTANT because thats when they realize they’re it for each other, just – life gets in the way. which is imo the reason they fall back into each other so easily in s9 – thanks to mexico, they know they’re it for the other one, and now there’s nothing standing in their way.

basically, i dont think mickey necessarily fell in love harder – mickey fell in love in that tragic hero kind of way, and ian fell in love in a more natural kind of way, sort of how we fall in love irl (which may not be as „interesting“ in a tv show, i guess)

[litgwritersroom]

mason/mc nsfw??

Whipped

S1 | Mason/MC | 2100+ words | @i-boop-you

After winning a date to the Hideaway Terrace, things soon get sticky and sweet for Mason. NSFW.

White and sticky, the cream dripped down Zuri’s chin as her laugh echoed out. Her voice was muffled, but so full of joy as she pointed to the mess and said, “Kiss me.”

It sounded to Mason more like ‘Kibbsmee’, but he knew with one hundred percent certainty what she meant. He leant towards her on the bed, their eyes locked for the briefest moment, until he could lock his mouth to hers.

The cream filled his mouth as much as it had filled hers; he felt it trickling down his chin, dripping off of them onto the bed sheets, but he didn’t care at all. She tasted sweet and delicious and he could live the rest of his life knowing that nothing was better than this.

Mason pulled away, wiping around his mouth as he did. She swallowed the remainder of what she still had on her tongue, but let the mess he’d smeared around her mouth remain. He’d had no idea how fucking hot he’d find that, the wet drops of bright white, the sheen of stickiness where the cream had been before. Fuck, it looked good.

Maybe it was just ‘cause it was Zuri.

He’d fancied her the moment he’d seen, and yeah, he’d fancied Allegra, too, but the more he got to know all the girls, the more it was obvious that Zuri and him got on so much better. Needless to say, he really fucking fancied her.

When she’d picked him for a date over Levi and Jake, he’d had to play down just how fucking happy that had made him, but he literally could have jumped for joy. He didn’t though. Wasn't not a fucking Toby.

“More?” He asked her, shaking the can of whipped cream in his hand.

She nodded, eyes heavy with a desire for something more. The semi in his jeans twitched as she sat up on her knees again, hands on her thighs, tongue out and mouth wide open, waiting and ready to receive what he had for her.

Mason slowly shook the can, in two minds over if he should shake it in the air above her head or in front of the bulge in his trousers. Before he could think about it, his hand was down below his waist and he was mimicking an action he’d done plenty of times before.

Only a little embarrassed by this turn, Mason owned it, giving her a dangerous look while biting his bottom lip, and he couldn’t help but take her all in again.

In her LBD and red heels, he’d never been so turned on by a girl in such a simple outfit. She just had a way with her, no matter what she wore, she was hot as hell.

“Open up,” he said, pointing the nozzle to her awaiting tongue. One soft swirl of cream later and she was holding his gaze as she curled her tongue in, only a small trickle of white escaping, the rest she held in her stuffed cheeks. It left him thinking of what else he could stuff her cheeks with.

The way she swallowed had him by the throat. Every second he got harder and harder, and she knew exactly what she was doing to him.

“Whoops,” Zuri said, swiping a finger across her tits and collecting spilt cream. Her eyes caught his as she sucked on her finger, making sure he was avidly paying attention. Oh boy, was he. “Looks like my dress is ruined.”

His eyes flickered down her body again, wrapped in that tight little dress.

“A shame,” he said. “As good as it looks on you though, I’d rather see it on the floor.”

Zuri’s laugh came out heavy, but it lit her whole face up, only making her hotter. “If that’s the case…” she said, turning herself on the bed. She stopped with her back to him, collecting her hair over her shoulder to reveal the dress’ zipper.

Inwardly he groaned, barely managing to strain the sound between his teeth.As much as he desperately wanted her in nothing but her underwear, he also wanted her in nothing at all; he wanted to savour each and every moment of undressing her, of making her his. He ran his hands down the dark fabric, feeling the curves of her body as he did.

She was too tempting to leave alone, and Mason’s arms soon wrapped around her front, his face crooning the nook of her neck. He kissed her slowly, from her shoulder up to her earlobes, taking her into his mouth and gently nibbling her. His hands explored her, delving inside her dress from both ends. As he dipped one hand to play away at her tits, the tips of his fingers circling her nipples and grabbing a handful of her at a time, his other hand slid up her warm thighs.

The thin sliver of her underwear was wet already. He could feel her dampness through the thin fabric as he rubbed down the slit of her pussy. Zuri moaned for him, the sound getting him ridiculously weak.

His hard on was getting painful trapped in his trousers. Mason bent her forwards across the bed, pushing her face first into the sheets with a small whimper.

Positioned at her ass, he took her in again from this highly gratifying angle. Instead of unzipping her out her dress, his hands explored her ass, and he pushed her skirt up until the string between her cheeks was visible.

With one hand on her lower back keeping her down, Mason traced all manner of shapes across her exposed skin, his touch light enough to keep her on edge; he watched her thighs twitch and the patch on her underwear darken.

Mason peeled off her thong with both hands, sliding it down her ass and thighs, unable to take his eyes off of the display. Her penchant for wearing string bikinis had resulted in a light path showing up across her skin in the shape of her daywear. He was suckered now, and knew he’d be picturing her just as she was every time she would flaunt about in her skimpy clothes from then on.

He wanted that fucking dress off now; he needed to know what other secrets about her body it was keeping hidden from him.

One finger slid down her pussy, circling her wet hole; Mason dipped his finger in, groaning alongside her gasp at how warm and soft she felt. It only urged him to do away with the dress, and in a second it was on the floor where it should be. His own clothes followed swiftly behind until he was positioned over her as naked as she was.

He marvelled over her tan lines some more, running his hands up and down her spine, grabbing her ass and pulling at her hair as he did, until one gentle tug of her hair in the right direction had her rolling onto her back for him, letting him follow the lines of her bikini that marked her sun kissed curves.

At the sight of his thick cock, Zuri whimpered, jaw trembling, legs opening wider, begging for it with her eyes and body. As much as Mason wanted to give it to her then and there, to just let lust take over and have her, he’d waited so long already, he didn’t want it to be over so soon.

He held her gaze and he lowered himself between her thighs. He circled his tongue in her pussy, lapping up her juices. He wanted to take his time, but he was getting impatient with himself.

Mason was barely off of her before she put them in reverse. She was on her hands and knees crawling up the bed to him, her tits peeking out from behind her slim arms as she made her way towards him. Zuri pushed him back with one hand on his toned abdomen, and Mason let himself fall back onto the bed.

Zuri’s tongue flicked out and caressed his thighs. She traced up his body towards his cock, her hands gliding up the inside of his thighs, pushing them down to stop them twitching.

It took both of her hands to wrap around his cock, and even then she had room to wrap her mouth around the head. She got a taste of his salty pre-cum as she let her saliva drip down the sides to her hands. She made sure there was plenty for her to get him wet all over.

His eyes fluttered as she worked, his jaw hinged open as she took more and more of him to the back of her throat. The sounds of her gagging on his size while she was only half way down just made it all the more sweeter.

She went one handed after that, her cheeks stuffed, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. Mason caught sight of her fingering herself as she blew him and he nearly lost all control. His hands were grappling with the sheets in an effort to not grab her by the hair and push her a couple more inches down, to really make her fucking gag.

Zuri pulled off of him with a pop, absolutely gasping for breath, her mouth as sticky as it had been covered in cream. He couldn’t wait to replicate that image with his own cum. It was what he pictured as he rolled his dick over her face, smearing her with her own spit.

Mason beckoned her up, shifting the pillows behind him at the same time. When Zuri was over his cock, he held her in place, one hand on her hips. He traced low until his thumb reached her clit. Gently, Mason circled the sensitive spot as he grasped his dick, working his palm up and down along his shaft as a whimpering Zuri lowered herself onto him.

The first touch of her wet folds felt like pure bliss and as his dick was swallowed up inch by inch, that bliss only intensified. This time, she had no problem getting her lips all the way to his balls in one go.

Leaning back, Zuri held his thighs to keep herself upright. He watched in awe at her perfectly sculpted tits wondering how such a beautiful creature could exist. Her eyes fluttered and were unfocused, the constant drum of her moans only turning him on more.

Mason licked his lips. He wasn’t a religious man, but he had to thank someone for the sight in front of him. Slowly, he rolled his hips, and her moans intensified, and she tightened around him, matching his rhythm, and he thanked every God he could think of.

They fell in perfect harmony with one another; as one made a move, the other followed with the perfect compliment, and then Mason had her by her hips, driving into her as she was angled just right, two fingers over her clit, making her tits bounce in rough movements, stealing his attention.

Mason was soon seeing stars; she was so tight, so warm, so soft; she was just incredible. Perfect inside and out like her body had been sculpted just for him. He held on for as long as he could, focusing on her and how close she was getting; when her gasps grew more intense, she took his fingers in her hand and sent them into a frenzy over her clit while she gushed over his cock.

Zuri bent forwards all of a sudden, taking a hand from where she had been gripping his thigh and positioning herself over his top half. Her tits brushed over his chest, her stiff nipples grazing his skin, the sensation making him wish for them in his mouth. She kept playing with her clit, the sensations clear on her face as she lowered over him. He pushed up on the bed until they were forehead to forehead, eyes locked on one another.

As she came, he did so, too. The elation he felt to look her in the eye and see the moment wash over her was comparable to none. Mason went slack, the image ingrained in his head forever.

Instead of pushing her off of him and rolling away like he usually did after sex, Mason held onto her. He wrapped her in his arms, his nose buried in her hair, intoxicated by her scent. It took him a moment to realise they were both shivering.

Zuri was still recovering, so with a kiss to the side of her head, Mason carefully reached for the bed throw to cover them both up. He could have held her all night, he wanted to hold her all night. Mason planned to never let her go. 

He wasn’t about to lose this one.