#I’ll do it when I get home tonight

[silens-oro]

wip wednesday

steapa x f!dane reader

synopsis: finan, ever the schemer, tries to play matchmaker.

an: this will be a stand alone one shot that will be filled with filth and debauchery once it is finished 😈this was written on my phone so no word count or editing. we die like s*****.

warnings: talks of sex and maiming, but neither act happens. Finance’s mouth is it’s own warning.

+

“I’ve noticed something,” Finan said as he sat next to you on the bench you occupied. All of the men had dispersed once you made it to Winchester -for food, sleep, women, or a combination of the three. You decided to head to the closest ale house for some food and drink to unwind after your long journey before you went to bed.

Your body ached, as did your belly. You tried to not let Finan’s interruption ruin the meal in front of you.

A hearty bowl of stewed beef with chunks of carrot, potato, and onion steamed in front of you, a hunk of crusty bread in your hand to dip into the thick broth. You were mid-dunk into the bowl when Finan spotted you.

“Is it that you refuse to give me a moment’s peace?” You grumbled, finally bringing the soaked bread to your mouth. You nearly groaned at the taste and feel of a hot meal. You threw Finan a look as you chewed. “You’ve lost your shadow?” You referenced Osferth, who had grown quite the attachment to Finan, as you dig into the bowl with your spoon.

“Praying, what else would be be doing? And do not deflect from my questioning.” He playfully reprimanded.

“I merely wished to know where to find the boy so I could tether him to you so you’d leave me be,” you said through a mouthful of stew. “What are you doing bothering me? Will no woman take your coin for the night?” You grinned.

“Any woman would be happy to take my coin, thank you. But my question still stands: Why do you not take a man to bed?” You dropped the bread to the table and abandoned the spoon in the bowl to turn your body to face the Irishman.

“Excuse me?” Offense was clear as day on your face as you glared at him. “Who I take to bed does not concern you.”

“Anywhere we stop, the men find their ladies of the night, but you never take anyone to bed. Why is that?” Your head tiled back as you sighed. There goes your meal for the night.

“You do not know this.” You argued.

“Ah, but I do.”

“Why does this matter?” You grumbled, bringing your cup of ale to you lips. “How would you know my whereabouts when you’re occupied?”

“Because you always have the same look on your face before I leave to hump and when I’m finished.” He had a point. “It is a good stress reliever. You seem wound up, more so than usual. If you need help-”

“No!” You stopped him mid-sentence, your dagger out in the blink of an eye and pointed at Finan. “Do not finish that sentence if you wish to keep your tongue.”

“It was merely a suggestion,”

“Merely do not suggest,” you spat. His grin only widened at your growing frustration. A few moments passed where you were both in a standoff with your stares, and your dagger pointed at him, before you stood down. The blade was placed on the table, pointed at him in warning. “There’s a reason I don’t allow any of you fools into my bed. I intend to keep it that way.”

“I think it would help. From one friend to another, you need to let loose a little.”

“Let loose? Finan, are you aware of the anatomy differences between you and I?”

“I am intimately aware,” He wiggled his thick brows.

“Then you would know that only one of us is capable of becoming with child,” Finan grimaced at your point, then his eyes lit up with a thought.

“They make a tea for that!”

“Yes I am intimately aware of that, Finan,” You mocked him. His eyes widened, scandalized, but humored nonetheless. “I have ample supply on me, but there is still risk.”

“You minx!” Finan laughed. “Okay, minimal risk. What is the next?”

“The women, more or less are agreeable to look at, yes?” His head teetered from left to right with a shrug.

“Sometimes,”

“But most times you are able to find a woman you can stomach looking at,” You stated.

“I guess so.”

“Look around this ale house,” You said, let him scope out the patrons for a moment before bringing his attention back to you. “Do you see my problem?” Finan grimaced. “My best prospect is Steapa,” you nodded your head in his direction. Finan’s jaw dropped. “And even then I’d need a few more cups.” You shook your ale cup in front of Finan. The man was not disagreeable to your eyes, but he was massive. Gargantuan. There was no question that *all* of him was to proportion.

“Steapa?!” Finan said a little too loud, garnering the man in question’s attention towards your table. You punched Finan directly in the center of his chest, causing him to wheeze and double over on the table in pain.

You gave a short wave with an awkward smile at Steapa who sighed at the pair of you before shaking his head and guzzling more ale.

“Clearly he isn’t interested, and every other man who I could stomach doesn’t have the spine to approach me. It is no surprise. Saxon men are generally weak.”

“You really are unapproachable,” Finan agreed while rubbing his chest. He flinched when you made like you were going to hit him again. “Your face is constantly pinched. You look like you’ve sucked on a lemon,” he teased as he touched the tensed muscle between your brows.

“I wonder why,” you smacked his hand away from you.

“So this is my mission for the night, eh?” Finan wrapped an arm over your shoulder to put you in a near headlock. “We’ll find you a lad to hump so we can get that dazzling smile back on your face!” He said louder than he should’ve, catching the attention of a few men within the ale house -Steapa included. You could feel the heat radiate off of your face as whistles and hoots filled the room. Finan stood before you could stop him and he was off into the night.

Steapa caught your eye. He had a questioning look on his face, to which you just shook your head with a roll of your eyes. Chugging the last of your ale, you looked to the now cold stew in front of you with a sigh.

You heard the scrapes of chairs and benches on the floor, followed by boots heading in your direction.

“Any man who approaches me will be chewing on his own balls as a midnight snack!” You said without looking up. You made a show of fiddling with your dagger before sheathing it. The men who were going to approach sat back down without hesitation. Steapa’s eyes still followed you as you stood, put the hood of your cloak up and fled the ale house to find refuge in your bed.

[sassmill]

In Act 2 of Lempicka when Tamara and Rafaela enter Le Monocle for the first time they look around at all the women together and Rafaela says “a room full of nothing but US” and Tamara says “let’s never leave” and guys I just went to a lesbian bar for the first time (okay it’s actually a deli but they turn it into a lesbian bar at night) and GUYS? That is the safest I have ever felt out drinking and dancing and I felt so natural and I was surrounded by other queer women and that’s. That’s the first actual queer space I’ve been to in YEARS and especially post-pandemic. And I’m feeling such an overwhelming mix of emotions right now because I didn’t realize how isolated I felt from the queer community in my day to day life (ie not online). I just. God.

Dedicated queer spaces are so important. Lesbian bars are so important. This is the only one I’ve been to but I’m VERY aware that these days there are fewer and fewer of them but I just. I didn’t know how badly this kind of place and experience and connection to community was missing from my life until I suddenly had it tonight.

[imperatorrrrr]

The New Jersey Devils losing on Pride Night is homophobic af.

[ssreeder]

when is chapter 11 coming out??? i don’t wanna rush you or anything just curious😭

Hiiiii

I’ll post chapter 11 tonight after I get home :) it’s no rush! I am happy to give you an update (all silly 24k of it…. ugh.)

[yuriprince]

i got an email about a book shelving job at a library. and i’m considering applying for it

[diviinedogs]

I flipped a coin to see if I should do art or finally play some more Rebirth, and video games won…

[pallases]

ourgejjg

[hellfireeddiemunson]

finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭

[conscious-naivete]

made progress on my blog’s halloween outfit (layout). did you know it’s the third week of october already? it’s really slipped past me

[livvyofthelake]

roommate is in kitchen grrrr. ok well idc i’m not making food i just need to get my little Beverage and be on my merry way home for the weekend where my mommy’s gonna make me pasta for dinner <333 but still like it’s a small ass kitchen so. annoying.

[lilgynt]

yes i understand i got groomed but also made plans to visit said groomer and made sure to dress hot to prove something?

[sluttyten]

if it was just up to me I’d be on my way home by now, but I’m staying with my best friend at her boyfriend’s house, and she told me last night that she wants to sleep in and go to a local mall this morning (which doesn’t even open until 11), and then we have to stop in another city because I promised an old coworker I was close with that we’ll stop and see her since we’re going that way anyway, but now I’m like probably not getting home until late afternoon, but if I left now, or like an hour and a half ago when I woke up, I’d be home by a little bit after noon, actually earlier than that because there’s a time change somewhere in there

[seilon]

kind of impressed I’ve managed to space out watching an 8-episode show over the span of several days instead of binging it. it has not been easy but I think it was worth it to give me an incentive to get through work the past few days

[jaejoongs-nipple-piercing]

I looked up Gank Your Heart with Yibo (my BABY!!) because I was thinking it’s like the webtoon/webcomic “National School Prince is a Girl” which I really like reading. But after looking up the drama and watching the first teaser I think they’re different. But I’ll just have to watch it later and find out.

[oceantornadoo]

protective ex-husband!simon, implied violence/break-in

“i know! and that’s when i told her-“ you paused, your hand halfway to the keys at the bottom of your purse. your apartment door was open, a menacing sliver of darkness awaiting you. “hey, i’m going to have to call you back.” you ended the call with your friend, slowly backing away from your door. shit. you knew you locked the door when you left for work, and no one else had a copy of your key. a creeping sensation came over you, like someone was watching from within. slowly, you retreated, taking the elevator down to your apartment’s lobby as the anxiety crawled through your body. you wracked your brain, wondering if you should call the police. wondering if they would even believe you. there was only one call to make.

“come on, pick up.” you tapped your foot impatiently as your ex husband took forever to answer the phone. it was all you could do to not think about your home being violated, about a potential stalker or date gone wrong.

“‘ello?”

“si- simon, it’s me.”

“i know, lovie. that’s why i picked up.” you let out a quiet sob of relief at his voice, the bottle on your emotions starting to leak.

“what’s wrong?” his voice changed, immediately hearing your silent tears. he could always read you too well. “i don’t want to bother you but” you hiccupped. shit. “but my apartment door was open and i’m pretty sure i closed it, i usually do. i don’t know if im being silly but now im in the lobby and im just scared, simon.” there was a fumbling sound, the echoes of simon zipping up his jacket and pulling on his shoes.

“go to that cafe across the street, dove. go get yourself one of those overpriced hot chocolates. i’ll be there in 15.”

9 minutes later, your shaking hands were tapping random patterns on the cafe table, unable to raise your drink to your mouth without spilling it. your eyes were locked onto the wood grain, counting lines to distract yourself.

suddenly, a gloved hand covered yours. you looked up and there he was, your ghost in all his glory. you forgot everything for a second, forgot the past arguments and the strained silences, and flung yourself into his arms. you breathed in his comforting scent of pinewood that masked his cigarettes, a cologne you got him four years ago for christmas. your face was wet, and as he pulled you back to check you for injuries, his thumb brushed a stray tear away from your face. you didn’t even realize you were crying.

“‘s okay, baby. i’m here now. give me your keys.” you fumbled for your keys, purse strap sliding off your shoulder as your hands shook too much to keep it balanced. simon caught it gracefully, finding your keys in the same pocket you always kept them. “stay here. i’ll be back.” you nodded instinctively. only when you saw his figure retreat to your apartment building, clothed in all black like a figure of death, you realized you hadn’t told him your new apartment number.

twenty minutes passed. simon’s presence had worked like medicine as your heart rate has now dropped back down to normal, your hands stable enough to finish your drink. any other person would be worried for simon’s safety, but you knew the only person you should be concerned for was your intruder.

“you’re stayin’ with me tonight.” he was back, looking exactly the same. he wasn’t even winded. “thank you simon, but don’t be ridiculous. i can get a hotel. you live so far from my work anyways.” he approached you, crowding into your space as he leaned over you, even with a cafe table in between. “consider it payment then.” he tilted your chin up with his left hand as he hid his other one, covered with blood, in his pocket. “one way or another, you’re in my bed tonight, dove.” you gulped at that. “and i’ve got riley in the car. you wouldn’t abandon him, would you?” of course he had gotten your cat when he checked out your apartment. riley hated men, but never simon. cheeky bastard.

“you win.”

fast forward a couple of hours and you were getting ready for bed at simon’s, belly full from the meal he had made you. riley made himself at home on the living room couch, of course. “he’s in my spot.” you gestured to your cat on the couch. “wha’ d’ya mean?” your husband simon was now in sweats and sweats only, clean from the shower he had after you both got home back to his place. you pretended not to see him methodically wash blood out of his fingernails, reasoning quite easily with yourself that it was for a good cause.

“my couch for tonight.” simon moved toward you and you avoided his eyes, trying not to stare at how beautiful he still was. muscular but thick, torso adorned with scars you used to trace on sunday mornings when you both stayed in bed until the afternoon. he gripped your chin, forcing you to make eye contact. “told’ya you were in my bed tonight, dovie.” you swallowed and he watched your throat move, memories of you swallowing something else countless times rising to the surface.

“don’t be silly, simon. that would cross a line.”

“what line?” his arms were crossed now, drawing your attention to an unfamiliar tattoo right above his heart. a small dove.

“we’re not together anymore, simon.”

“you’re still my wife.”

silence. he was always like this, pushing you until you broke. he was unwilling to compromise, even on the smallest of issues. usually you’d fight him, spit fire until you lost your voice. tonight though, you were reminded of how he was the only person you were able to call, the only one committing dark sins without asking, all for your safety. instead, you threw your hands up and walked into his bedroom, mechanically stripping as you put on one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. you felt his eyes on you, burning a hole through the fabric. you were tired, so tired of this push and pull.

“what.” you whipped around, all venom. his eyes were impossibly soft, holding yours with a peaceful caress. “you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you.” your fire went out at that. “you’re just trying to get me naked.” you mumbled, looking down as you fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. you watched as his body came into view, pressing your forehead against his bare skin.

“could see you in a thousand layers and you’d still be the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen, dove.” ever so slowly, your hands crept up his body to grab his shoulders and neck. he picked you up with ease, turning the lights off and tucking you both in bed. “when did you get the tattoo?” you asked in the dark.

“3 months and 12 days ago.” what would have been your 3rd year of marriage, your anniversary. you lowered your head and gave him a kiss right where the tattoo was. “can we talk about it in the morning?” you snuggled into him, that familiar scent calming you once again. “always, dove.” he kissed your forehead, smiling in the dark.

----

idk why im obsessed with the break-in and simon to the rescue trope but its fueling me lately

[andwewerehappy]

had the big cry about them tonight. mostly him. keep daring the universe to prove me wrong when i say i’ll never see him again.