#I’m equally indifferent about all of them I’m just here to point out the hypocrisy

[empyrangel]

Not the straight fans always complaining that people reach too far to justify gay ships just to turn around and ship Navia and Neuvillette or Wriothsley and Clorinde for existing on screen together

[razorblade180]

The Real You pt6

[Warning, Parts 1-5 are really old. So their quality is eh...]

Love sucks, that’s the feeling our emotionally wrecked trio was having anyways. Each of them sat quietly while looking at an empty cake tray and devoured bowls of ice cream. They must’ve scarfed down enough sweets to make even Ruby sick, yet not even their slightly upset stomach could compare to the pain in their chest. Love sucked, but here they were, wishing for a way to grab a hold of it with both hands.

Yang sat on her couch all alone and stared at Jaune, who laid on her floor. His eyes fixated on the never ending weeping of the heavens outside. A fitting mood really. Yang still felt like letting her tears flow just a little bit. She couldn’t believe that she got cheated on, again. Technically this would be the first time but the series of events and feelings were scarily familiar to what happened with her partner that it was hard not to draw certain comparisons.

Jaune finally noticed her gaze and stared back. He could tell just from one look how much she was trying to keep herself together for everyone’s sake. He had no doubt that he had truly broken Yang’s heart and that in return made him feel utterly sick beyond belief. How could he do something so awful, sleeping with Neo? The feelings towards the girl in question only made it worse. It was one thing to give your body to someone else that you weren’t dating, but it was far worse when you were also emotionally invested. Jaune couldn’t bear to see the look of sorrow on her face. He’d turn away but Jaune Arc would not run from his mistakes. His lack of judgement got him into this so he would take all forms of punishment to show how much he ached from his decision. Yang Xiao Long deserved better.

Neo sat at the table, watching them both. The girl methodically fiddled with her empty spoon as she tried to deal with her guilt. Why was being a good person so hard? It wasn’t a foreign concept, not completely. Treat others the way you wanted to be treated, don’t let negative thoughts decide your actions, use your talents to better the world; Neo wasn’t sure that last one was possible. The girl pursued a man she loved for selfish reasons, knowing good will those moments of bliss would rot and decay in no time at all, poisoning the very person she wanted to impress.

“You’d think after all those sweets, the three of us would be on any sort of high right now?” Neo said, her head resting on her arms. She didn’t care what response they’d give her. Any words were better than silence. She knew that better than anyone. “Where do we go from here?”

“Dunno.” Yang said, “I can barely keep my own thoughts in order.”

“Share em. No use holding anything in, especially against me. I’ll take the punches, physically or verbally.”

“Okay then. I hate this, this...ache. I hate how much hurting you both are putting me through to the point I wanna scream.” Yang’s nails dug into the cushion beneath her. “Worst part of all? I hate how scared I am. It feels like I’m only a few more events away from living in this apartment with no one but my sister and possibly Weiss to visit me; when they aren’t too busy being in love. Just like…”

The blonde bruiser’s eyes shut tight. Tears managed to escape and her lip quivered fiercely. Seconds passed by before she opened her eyes and looked at her boyfriend. Was he still her boyfriend? She guessed that was to be determined later. Only one thing was at the forefront of her wary mind.

“I want to still be with you Jaune, I do. But for the life of me I can’t think of a way to even begin to go through this. Apologizing doesn’t cut it. Punishing or making some kind of deal with Neo to leave doesn’t fix anything either. I’m so furious but I hate the fact that letting you go is the last thing I want.” Yang clenched her chest tightly. It felt as if everything was pulling her apart and trying to keep her together all at once. “I love you so please, end this yourself.”

Jaune’s eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“You came over here so I can chew you out and break up right? Well if you want this to officially end then you’ll have to do it yourself because I’m dumb enough to still want you.”

“You aren’t dumb.” Neo spoke up, “And I’m the last person to be talking about being fair or discussing hypocrisy, but it’s close minded to think making Jaune shoulder that choice isn’t a form of punishment. Even a blind person could easily see that he loves you too; more than anything. More than anyone.”

It hurt but it was the truth. If it came down to it, Jaune would pick Yang in any situation and Neo would be left out to dry. His feelings for the petite girl are true, but that didn’t matter as long as he had Yang. Not that she could blame him.

“Honestly, I’m jealous of you Yang. Not just because you’re good, but because you are what I want to be. Maybe that’s why I could do what I did so easily? I was tired of feeling beneath you, the girl I wish I could be.”

Neo stood up from the table and looked at Yang’s tired red face before looking at Jaune and shaking her head. “Sorry, for wrecking what you have. We both know I’m terrible for you. If I could make a good guy like you cheat on someone like her then I’m clearly bad.”

“I’m not as good as you think. I would’ve pushed you away if I was.” Jaune sighed. This was going nowhere, fast. They were all about to keep looping this cycle of hating themselves. “Stop treating me like I’m perfect, I’m not.”

“Never said you were, it’s obvious to see though I’m making cracks in your demeanor that weren’t there before. Since I’ve already gone this far when it comes to being a shitty person, no reason for me to start considering the requests both of you have. I’m gonna do what I want, leave.”

Yang let out a groan of irritation. “Neo-”

“You have no intention to stop loving him so what other option could there possibly be? Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re not the type to share, are you?” It was faint but Neo was sure Yang could hear it, the little plea that had escaped in her voice. Neo would love nothing more than to be wrong right now. She wasn’t entirely sure of Yang’s past relationship but it had obviously done a number on the girl.

Yang could hear that twinge of hope in Neo’s voice. She could even see the twinkle in her eye. Neo was practically begging for a life line, a reason to believe that she didn’t have to commit to her claim of walking away. Sadly, Yang could only stare, and Jaune knew exactly why such a question was risky to ask.

“Sorry, I can’t say that I am. That situation is...it burned me before.” Yang said, resisting the painful memories that tried to surface.

Neo’s face went pale. Well, that was it. Her final possible tether to the life and person she wanted to be with, severed in no time flat. She did her best to sound indifferent about it.

“Oh, I see. I...wasn’t aware that there were some rough patches in that subject. Then I guess… I guess there’s nothing left to do. Jaune…”

“Neo…” He knew better than to try to change her mind or make this tougher than it already was. He didn’t have an answer for all three of them after all. It would’ve been selfish and inconsiderate to speak as if he did. Even saying goodbye felt way too...inappropriate, in a way.

Neo put on the fakest smile both Jaune and Yang had ever seen in their life. “Thanks for believing in me, both of you. Even though I flopped the moment I tried to change. It was nice, having someone take the chance anyways.”

With her feelings in the open, Neo turned towards the door and grabbed the knob. Her hand stayed on that knob, her fingers refusing to grab it as her entire body trembled. She knew they could hear her sniffle. Neo knew that she was taking entirely too long, but even with nothing left to say, leaving felt so painful. She took one final breath and then found the will to step out of the apartment, the sound of her footsteps sprinting the moment the door closed behind her.

Yang found no joy in seeing her leave, only more ache. She turned to Jaune who was still staring at the door, his eyes filled with a new kind of sorrow.

“If you’re wondering what things would’ve been like if I had been the one to pick, I would’ve chosen you. Don’t think for a second I’d willingly walk out of your life.” Jaune said, tearing up. “Even so, I would’ve felt terrible leaving Neo’s life. This might sound a little egotistical, but I can’t see her bouncing back from this. Not alone. Not without us.”

“Us?”

“I may have given her the dream of changing, but you were clearly the goal post.”

“Don’t put that on me.” Yang said weakly, “What would’ve happened if she did change? She would still love you, and I would still be worried about losing you.”

Jaune bit his bottom lip out of anxiety. Of course none of them were able to find a solution, they all had baggage and walls that they tried their best not to hit. Jaune was wary, but that might’ve been the problem. Neo never pulled her punches and this day had already been the absolute worst, so why not keep pushing? That’s the thing about baggage, you gotta unpack it eventually. Jaune only wished that it wouldn’t come back to bite him.

“I’m not Blake…”

Yang’s head jolted up. Jaune didn’t need to look at her to know Yang was staring at him with scarlet eyes that felt like they were burning a whole into the side of his face.

“Don’t say her name.”

“Why? It’s not like you haven’t been thinking about what happened with her this entire time. Yang you won’t lose m-”

“YOU DON’T THINK SHE DIDN’T SAY THE SAME THING!?” Yang said, screaming as she stood up in frustrated anger. Jaune had struck a nerve he knew was still very much was like an open wound. He finally looked at the girl, she had his undivided attention.

“You don’t believe that she didn’t reassure me that I had nothing to worry about!? That’s how it starts. They ease your fears, tell you that things are mutual, that feelings are equal; that’s not how that works! No matter how much attention she gave me, it was obvious her mind was on Sun. The looks, the talk, the stories, so I do what anybody would do and confront her about it. We talked and we talked and we talked and we talked until finally I believed that things could work out. Sharing wouldn’t be so hard if everyone really is on the same page right? All three people give the same amount they gain right!? Well that’s not how it works!!! It felt like I was fighting to find a reason to even be around them. Slowly but surely, a wall was being built but bringing up the dynamic again after so many discussions just got so…I was tired Jaune. Her words felt so rehearsed, so lifeless. Up until we have one more discussion because I just don’t think we’ve gotten it right yet. That’s when her words sounded true. When she looked at me and said ‘I can’t do this anymore’ and I knew instantly I was out of the picture. Blake had chose Sun over me a long time ago, I was just stupid enough to ignore the signs! So tell me Jaune, how the hell would this end up any different!? How could you look at me and say you won’t need me around anymore!?”

Yang’s chest rose up and down heavily as she tried to breathe. She refused to be slowly pushed out again, to have her feelings subtly get abandoned for another. She watched Jaune stare at her, his face expression giving off nothing but sorrow, or was it pity?

“Well!?” Yang sniffled, “Say something for fucks sake!”

Jaune walked closer to her. Close enough reach out and wipe the numerous tears that riddled her face. “Because my love for you isn’t fragile.”

He said nothing else. Jaune left her speechless for a moment while he walked towards the door and opened it, scaring her a little.

“Jaune what are-”

“I think a little space right now to think about today is needed. I need that space, but I will come back. Don’t ever doubt that.” Jaune opened the door. “I messed up today, I know that. But don’t you ever doubt my love for you. I swear it never runs low.”

Yang said nothing. She simply watched him close the door. The girl fell back onto her couch, she had to be minutes away from vomiting. Jaune was right about one thing, she did need some space from this situation. As well as some perspective. Yang dialed her scroll and practically begged for her sister to pick up. Thankfully, she did.

“Hey sis, what’s going on?” The cheerfulness of Ruby’s voice felt like the one sunlight on this gray day.

“Hey Ruby. Y..You free to talk?”

“Always, what’s up? You sound stuffy.”

“Oh you know…Jaune cheated on me today.”

Part 5

[chanbaek-mo-chroi-blog]

The Haze

Hypocrites. Liars. Cheaters. Con-artists. Provincial.  

   Selfish. Corrupt. Vulgar. Criminals. Apathetic. Portentous.

  Apathetic liars mainly.

   That was what the world consisted of. That was what the world was composed of. And yet some of the people with those attributes were locked behind bars. But the majority? The majority walked our streets, beasts on the prowl, criminals in the perpetual act. The majority sat on a pedestal, judging a minority for the exact characteristics that lay deep in their bosoms. Spreading, spreading, like wildfire, burning venom into their hearts.  And this didn’t go for just judges in courts. Magistrates. Adjudicators.  No. This applies every single person to ever judge another.  

     Every liar who believed he told a truth. Every murderer who never held a weapon. Every pompous mind that believed it was a 'do gooder'.

    It was a bright day, that October afernoon. The mood didn't fit the tone. It was far too phosphorescent. And phosphorescent because it really, was a dark day. It was a dark event. And yet the sun shone. That made Baekhyun angry. The sun was so apathetic and yet it gave beings life. It was like the concept of God. A being that had the power to do something about most everything. And yet chose to remain abstract. It was mocking lowly, impotent human beings. Most humans long so much to make a difference, in ways they often can’t. Ways that are beyond their physical, mental and emotional ability. But the idea of God implies that He has the potency, however refuses to indulge in the meaningless lives, passing struggles of His subordinate creations. It made Baekhyun more than angry. It made him want to shake the sky and demand answers, even though he believed no one resided up there. It was all a myth.

  He almost laughed, in that church pew, with the whole town looking solemn. Chanyeol would be rolling in his grave if he heard Baekhyun’s thoughts. He never disapproved of his atheist opinions. But he stuck by him anyways.  

   Lies. Lies. Lies. You're sick The Lord hates you.

You're an infection, I hope you're not contagious.

You're unnatural .It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve

Some of the milder things that they'd said to Chanyeol and Baekhyun. They drove him to his fate. They didn't shoot Chanyeol, no. But they most certainly handed him the gun. Literally. Metaphorically. Baekhyun wanted to scoff. Baekhyun wanted to cry. But most of all, he just really wanted to set the town on fire. This rage inside him, they kept fueling it. Every word they spoke, ignited the inferno burning inside him. A perpetual paroxysm of violence ever since Chanyeol left.

     Eulogies. Condolences. Praises and smiles, tissues and tears. But they didn't even know him. They didn't care. Not when he was alive and kicking. They made sure to stampede on his soul. They were a horde of unfeeling hellions, the lot of them. They were a representation of the diseases the whole of humanity was plagued with. Apathy. Hypocrisy. Deceit. Intolerance.

  And now, all they had to say was "It is a tragedy, such a beautiful young life..."

"May the Lord rest his innocent soul." the pastor concluded. Baekhyun had zoned out. He wouldn't have been able to control himself if he’d listened, if he’d paid attention to the lies. Murderers wept, this town was proof. They were all there, sitting in the pews, wiping tears they had no right to shed. But no matter how many tears fell from their eyes, even if they cried for all eternity, not one of them would equal to the amount they'd made Chanyeol shed in his short life of seventeen years. And not one of them would come close to feeling the agony they'd put him through.

Chanyeol's parents had asked Baekhyun if I wanted to write his eulogy. He didn't. What was the point of praising someone you'd collectively killed? What was the point in saying the things you should have said to someone only when they were dead? Had humanity become that much of a coward? The deceased had functional ears, once upon a time. But now lifeless and deaf, in a box made of wood, destined for a kingdom that lay underground, what was the damn point?

The volcano of rage was slowly building up inside Baekhyun. He was seething. Smouldering. Suffocating with the lies and deception. Agony hadn't reached him yet. He was still dancing in the flames of anger.

He wanted to scream until I jolted Chanyeol out of his death. He wanted to scream him back to life. He wished he could have screamed loud enough for all the poisonous thoughts in Chanyeol’s head to be drowned out by him when he'd done the irreversible deed.

"Let's go honey," Baekhyun’s  mother tried to pull him up. But he stayed put, staring at her with my his twitching. Her eyes were urging him 'Now Baekhyun, be a good boy, don't make a scene in front of the whole town.' He could almost hear her in his head, that strident voice of hers that was occasionally honeyed whenever she thought he were a little boy that she could give a lollipop and would do her bidding. Sorry Mother. Not today. Not ever again."

“I'm staying here." Baekhyun said, surprised at how indifferent his voice was. None of the impending disastrous anger was coming through. But then Chanyeol had always said that Baekhyun was unnervingly calm, a time bomb waiting to explode into a thousand pieces of pent up and compressed emotions. Baekhyun had an uncanny feeling that day would come sooner, rather than later.

   He always wondered why people cried. I mean, yes to express emotion. But apart from that, why? And the answer came to him as he stared at Chanyeol’s cold, still body. His lips were no longer the beautiful crimson that always drew his gaze down to it. His cheeks didn't hold any pallor except ashen gray, pasty white. His hair, the brilliant, radiant dark brown was now thin and lackluster, as if now that the life had left him, the radiance had gone with it. Everything about him was so wrong. Unnatural. Like the world had tilted on the wrong axis and it was spinning at an angle it shouldn't have been.

 The rage was gone and Baekhyun was filled with a desperate sadness. The desolation grew in him, from a tiny embryo to an abnormal sized plant, blossoming and blossoming. All at once, there was a dearth of warmth in the world. The anger that has been heating him was gone in the blink of an eye and now he was really beginning to feeling the absence of Chanyeol. Everything was as gray as his skin. He was numb and brewing with a hurricane of emotions that had no space to exist in such a compressed being as himself. Baekhyun’s whole existence was being sundered by every breath he took.

His vision blurred, looking at the version of Chanyeol he didn't recognize. His Chanyeol was gone. This corpse wasn't him. The first tear fell. And then the second.

Soon, I couldn't see him anymore. And I realized, this is why people cry. Tears are the mist that shields us from the storm that rages to close to out cores, the storms that threaten to dismantle us, not piece by piece but abruptly. In a world that's so sharp, that's so clear and precise in moments of lethal poignancy, we need something to soften the lines, blur them together so their sharpness doesn't cut through our hearts.

[jaimeshanice]

Random Rant: I feel like constantly biting my tongue is really starting to take it’s toll on me. Within the past couple of years, I’ve been training myself to not speak up when I feel a certain way about something and perfect the art of repression. It’s fucking hard. It’s hard as hell trying to remain indifferent without offending the other person because you don’t want to hear their fucking mouth. But I have to remind myself that there’s a reason I started doing this in the first place. And the reason remains: other people can’t take ANY form of criticism or opinions and the feeling of repressing your emotions is a trillion times better than the feeling of someone attacking you/screaming at you for the way you feel.

It’s so irritating because ten years ago, I was diagnosed with depression. One thing I learned is that talking to people in your life only makes it worse. The best thing to do is find outlets and things that make you happy, and then latch on to them like there’s no tomorrow. Which is what I tend to do. Every year around my birthday, my depression tends to hit harder for the weeks leading up to it along with the weeks after and I’m still in that hole since mine just passed February 23rd. So my outlets and things I like are my EVERYTHING right now.

So here’s why I’m so pissed off. I was just minding my business when someone had the nerve, the MF NERVE to say to me that me watching Wild N Out and music videos I watch annoy them. Really? Here’s why this is an extra STUPID fucking complaint. I don’t watch these things around other people, only in my room. When I go in the livingroom to do my makeup to get ready for work, I change it to something that works for the other people in the room as well as myself. I’d recently hit play on a music video while I was setting up my area to do my makeup and then went to wash my face. Of course, since I’m not in the room, I can’t control what video comes on after what. But I wasn’t gone that long, it could have only played one or two videos in the time I was washing my face. Not much right?

Skip forward to after my makeups done and I head back to my room. I come out of my room and I’m chit chatting with (we’re gonna make up a name and them Ben) Ben and they say to me, “I don’t like your Wild N Out and hip hop music videos. Mind you, I DID NOT PLAY WILD N OUT. There was at the most, three videos played between the one I put on, and maybe one or two playing after I left the room. Why are you bitching? So I said, “sorry. I was just playing random videos for background sound.” Then Ben says, “Id rather you put on something else because I don’t like the videos. They’re stupid and annoy me.”

PAUSE! Time for a random rant inside of this one because that made me maaaaadddd. One of the things I complain about the most, is when people talk shit about something you very obviously like. People aren’t going to love the same things, that’s fine. But I fucking HATE when people talk like your interests are trash. Just say, “that’s not my taste” or something. But I can’t fucking stand when assholes are like, “I hate that show, it’s fucking stupid. I don’t know how anyone watched it, it’s so dumb.” Why can’t people just let other people enjoy things? Why do they have to be so negative about things that don’t affect them? The most infuriating part about Ben saying this, is that I talk to Ben all the time about how much I hate when people do this and they say they hate when people do it too. YOU’RE DOING THE THING YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WTF

Alright, back to our regularly scheduled program. So after Ben said they didn’t like the ‘stupid’ videos, I said, “well, I didn’t put those on. I can’t control what comes on after I leave the room. It’s on random. It’s youtube.” Then Ben says, “well I don’t like it.” So I said, “sorry, but I can’t control youtube.” Then I said, “I haven’t watched Wild N Out in the livingroom a single time since I’ve been watching it. I only watch it in the room.” Then Ben says, “I know.” Uhhhh, then why the FUCK are you complaining? Yes, there may have been two or three times where I showed Ben a few second clip of the show, but that’s it. I hardly think that’s enough to make it sound like you can’t escape the fucking show. And I even pointed out that Ben used to love the show because we used to watch it together and they were just like, “I know.” Fucking whatever.

It’s so much more irritating than I think it should be. If this was a new roommate, I don’t know that I’d be this upset. But it really annoys me that this person has the nerve to complain about what I watch, because this person does nothing but repeat the same thing. In the past few months, I’ve watched multiple new shows and true crime stories on youtube. I bounce around what I’m watching every couple of hours. But this person has been watching pretty much the same show with the exception of a couple of movies and random episodes and that’s it. Ben only talks about this one show and it’s 9/10 gonna be what’s on the tv when I come out of my room. Do I complain? No. Ben shows me clips of this show ALL THE TIME and I don’t understand most of it cause I don’t watch it. But Ben is so excited and I don’t want to ruin that for them. So I act like I’m equally as excited and don’t complain. But I’ve been watching Wild N Out for literally a week and have played a couple of music videos and already have someone in my ear complaining??? If I matched this timeframe up to how much this person is repeating their shit, I would have had to complain over a hundred times. That makes me so mad because I’m not bitching, I’m minding my business, but of course, that’s never enough.

Also, if you’ve ever been annoyed by someone who repeats the same songs, you haven’t seen anything yet. This person also has a playlist that’s on repeat so much, I can practically guess ALL of the songs on it. Yea, I repeat some songs here and there on my playlists, but I switch it up depending on my mood for the day. But Ben has also complained about being annoyed because I play the same songs all the time. The only time someone would hear my music is when I’m in the shower cause it plays on my phone. But on a playlist of 60 songs that I manipulate every time I play it, you’re only gonna hear a couple songs repeat and most will be different for the day. However, Ben can listen to the same songs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Certain songs I hate with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns. Hearing them once is brutal, let alone 10 times a day over months. But of course, my shower playlist would be what needs to be bitched about.

It’s just so frustrating because due to my depression, I really latch on to the things that I like and I know I can get obsessed. When I see something new that I like, I latch on to it. If I see a new movie I love, I’ll talk about it nonstop for a week and I know it gets annoying. But it hurts that my few days of obsession is constantly being scrutinized but other people can proudly overdo it for months and it’s fine. I don’t have anything besides my possessions and tv shows/movies. So when people come out of nowhere and talk shit about them, I take it personally because that’s my outlet for my depression. It’s the thing that keeps me AWAY from the thoughts of suicide. I know it’s silly, but I don’t have anyone I can talk to so all I have is these things.

It just upsets me so much because, these comments came out of nowhere. Literally nowhere. We were talking about FOOD and then Ben is just like, “I don’t like blah blah blah” and talking shit. Like, dude, this isn’t even the conversation right now. If I’d asked your opinion, it’d be one thing. But I didn’t. It was a come out nowhere, talk shit for no reason comment. And it fucking upset me because my depression is still in that birthday wave so I’m feeling worse than I already do and then someone has to shit on one of the things making me feel better.

And it’s worse because I can’t voice how I feel about it to this person. Technically, I can. But realistically, I’d get so much shit for it that it’s not worth it. If Ben said, “I don’t like your show, it’s stupid and it annoys me” and then I responded with, “well I’m tired of you repeating the same show for MONTHS”. . . . . . . . . . .NOPE. I’d catch so much shit for that. I’d probably get an earful of, “THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY” blah blah blah

It’s just a combination of unnecessary negativity along with hypocrisy so it’s just like ugh. Sometimes I just want to say, “can I please like what I like without someone always needing to say something negative?” But then Ben would be like, “I was just saying how I feel.” And then Ben would act calm for ten second and then start slamming doors and being dramatic so it’s just like ugh

Whatever, this had a vision and now it’s a ramble. I just figured I’d start documenting things on here again until I start a bullet journal that way if I ever see a mental health professional, I have something to look back on.

I’m not even gonna proofread this long ass thing. I just hope it makes sense to me in the future.

[asylum-ireland-blog]

Why men's voices are vital in Ireland's abortion referendum

New Post has been published on http://asylumireland.ml/why-mens-voices-are-vital-in-irelands-abortion-referendum/

Why men's voices are vital in Ireland's abortion referendum

Male allies in politics, the creative scene, and all walks of Irish life are stepping up alongside women to fight the system that oppresses them

‘Ireland Unfree’ is a Dazed mini-series telling the stories of Ireland’s bold fight for abortion rights, in the run up to the monumental referendum on the eighth amendment. Stirring protest, creativity, personal politics, and vital conversation, these Irish people push for autonomy. Here, we share their journey on Dazed.

The death of Savita Halappanavar in 2012 had an earth-swallowing feel to it. Denied of the basic healthcare required to ensure her survival, a constitutional amendment deemed her life – 31 years of complex human love, colour, and learning – of the same value as a 17-week-old fetus. She died in Ireland’s University Hospital Galway in Ireland due to the complications of a septic miscarriage. Her husband, Praveen, was dutifully left to channel her lost voice and carry her legacy on his already burdened shoulders.

On Friday May 25, Irish citizens will go to the polls to determine if the controversial Eighth Amendment of the Irish Constitution, which equates the right to life of the mother to the unborn, should be removed and repealed. The amendment, which criminalised abortion in almost all cases, was brought about as a result of a 1983 referendum, a time when the Catholic Church in Ireland was still very much an arm of government. Divorce was still illegal. Contraception was a taboo. Homosexuality remained outlawed.

The Irish man, of course, has no such lack of bodily freedom. Yet, about 70 per cent of Irish women who receive abortion care in the U.K. are married or with a partner. That is, conservatively speaking, thousands of fathers and partners that the Eighth Amendment has, too, bound to secrecy and shame.

Actor and author Emmet Kirwan – who last year created the beautiful spoken-word short film Heartbreak – views the redressing of Ireland’s wrongs broadly and disputes any sense of moral responsibility on individual men. “It’s not just a binary issue of males versus females: It’s an institutional issue,” he tells me. “Whether they be governmental, health, Church – all various arms of the state. There has been an institutionalised gender bias.”

On Irish streets, in local bars, on shop corners, through headlines painted across newspapers and hashtags proliferating via social media posts – there is a bitter political divisiveness that this debate has wrought, a clearly-defined chasm that calls other political ruptures of late to mind. No wonder there have been questions of sinister outside interference akin to the Cambridge Analytica scandal. In response, micro-campaigns have popped up all over social media – necessary conversation-sparking tools.

Ger Murphy, a 35-year-old events manager from South-Dublin, decided that Irish men needed to contribute to the dialogue around abortion rights. A conversation that, without question, needed their support. In late February, he founded the Men For Repeal Facebook page – ‘balls to the 8th’ is its light-hearted but defiant URL – after some troubling conversations about male engagement. Murphy sought to, at minimum, challenge the many outspoken men on the other side of the debate.

A large subset of the Irish male population, Murphy tells me over the phone, feel this is not their vote, that this a women’s issue that has no true bearing on their existence. Outside of the reality of crisis pregnancies which routinely affect women everyday, the idea that it’s a women-only issue is misguided, disingenuous, and, frankly, outdated. In truth, indifference largely translates as pro-choice.

“Whether they be governmental, health, Church – all various arms of the state. There has been an institutionalised gender bias” – Emmet Kirwan

“There is no problem in coming out and saying there is a male aspect to this issue. The vast amount of women would agree that the men in their lives are being affected as well,” Murphy says of the messaging. “The left trips over itself sometimes trying to be too PC about these things.”

Complacency is participating in neither debate nor democratic process, and it’s something to be concerned about. Kirwan, one of the most vocal Irish artists, explains there are no excuses for liberal-minded men eschewing their right to vote in the referendum: “The kind of passive, non-participation is essentially giving the vote over to the other side. This kind of idea that you can affect change by doing nothing; it’s a logical fallacy.”

Gordon Grehan of the Transgender Equality Network also tells me that repeal is “imperative to ensuring the rights of all people who can become pregnant, including trans men and non-binary people”. He adds: “As a trans organisation, we know the importance of ensuring self-determination, bodily integrity and physical autonomy.” As previously detailed in Brian O’Flynn’s report on the pro-choice campaign’s push for inclusivity, marginalised people like trans men who can get pregnant must be included in the conversation.

I’ve listened to women’s stories they deserve better. A No vote won’t stop abortions but continues the hypocrisy, shame and stigma. A Yes vote moves us to fairer, safer, more compassionate healthcare in Ireland. It’s our responsibility to put the hand out to our women. #men4yes

— Eamon Mc Gee (@EamonMcGee) April 24, 2018

So glad to see #men4yes emerge. I’m voting yes because, as a man, there is no medical procedure unavailable to me to protect my life or my health. I want the same for women.#TáDoMhná

— Aodhán Ó Ríordáin (@AodhanORiordain) April 24, 2018

Men For Repeal, along with Lads For Choice, have thrust the conversation of male engagement directly into the national discussion with Together For Yes, the campaign in favour of repeal. Through the #menforyes hashtag, men online have told their uniquely positioned and shared stories of loss, shame, and state-sanctioned oppression. One such story, which was posted by Men For Repeal’s Facebook page earlier this month, attributed to a man named Enda, illustrates the culture of shame embedded in Irish society.

Enda’s mother – empowered by his coming-out as gay – confided in him that she had an abortion pre-marriage, but for fear of judgement, had told just Enda and one of her sisters. “She’d felt sure that my grandfather would disown her for having sex outside of marriage and he died never knowing,” Enda writes. “I remember her saying she felt as if she was damaged goods with my own father, and had been terrified of telling him in case he no longer wanted to marry her.”

Elsewhere, Murphy alludes to meme culture (check the Ireland Simpsons Fans page for some of the best) and the use of internet spaces as a shareable access point for men, more so for those that are tentative or unsure about their place in a large, fast-moving campaign. Murphy’s resourcefulness also helped him develop a video series where male musicians cover female artists.

via Ireland Simpsons Fans

Creativity in the arts has propelled much of Ireland’s political movements, and the Repeal Project is a major example. The monochromatic sweatshirt – simple, inclusive, and unisex – is boldly inscribed with ‘Repeal’, now iconic in Irish millennial culture as a statement of aesthetic defiance. Repeal founder Anna Cosgrave recently guest edited local music and culture magazine District with the ‘Men’s Issue’ of its Dublin City Guide. The issue profiles male Irish allies across sport, music, film, and politics. Dance music magazine and online community Four Four has been passionately supportive of repealing the 8th on its pages.

Dublin’s vibrant young music scene sees lyrics that continue to reflect Ireland’s bewildering reality, from DIY punk to burgeoning R&B. Rising Dublin hip-hop act, KOJAQUE, recently rapped: “Sovereign state; they’d rather see my mother bleed out than build a clinic.” Elsewhere in the fashion world, designer Richard Malone has been an outspoken supporter for repeal, taking over Selfridges’ window display to write messages of support. In a powerful open letter for Vogue, Malone describes the “infuriating and unjust treatment of women” he has witnessed at home, the misinformed, Catholic-based education about sex and abortion he and his generation received, and the social and class structures that hinder women’s right to choose. “We have to use our vote to speak for ourselves and for the generation of young people coming directly behind us,” he writes, “who remain voiceless in the votes on their future.”

Toxic masculinity is seriously affecting Irish young men’s mental health, sexuality, and attitudes towards sex, the latter manifesting itself in one of the most widely reported and divisive public trials in Irish history: the rape case involving Ulster Rugby stars Paddy Jackson and Stuart Olding.

The voice of brusque social sensibility in Ireland today, Blindboy Boatclub of Irish comedy duo Rubberbandits is in equal parts an absurdist and a realist. He’s become an unofficial spokesperson for these disenfranchised young men, men who accounted for 80 per cent of Irish suicides last year. With one of the highest percentages of teen suicide in Europe, a silent epidemic pulses through Irish society.

During a revealing 2016 interview on Ireland’s The Late Late Show, Blindboy asserted that feminism is, in fact, a remedy for male-centric mental health issues and toxic masculinity, something that rings through with this referendum and long afterwards. “I have nothing to offer a woman, I have nothing,” he says of young men’s attitudes in Limerick, his native city. “How am I supposed to provide for a woman? The fact of the matter, is that that is a patriarchal attitude that is no longer relevant to us in the 21st century.” Blindboy has become a pivotal voice in the movement; utilising social media and his increasingly popular podcast to speak to men directly. His recent book, The Gospel According to Blindboy, delves deeply into such issues – he’s a leader, and a cultural reckoning force behind the pro-choice movement.

In a more recent filmed conversation with Cillian Murphy, Blindboy and the actor rallied for men to excercise their right to vote. “Men and women are both custodians of this society…we need to go out and support women,” Cillian Murphy said.

For too long, Irish women have been defined by their struggle. Those single mothers, those women who claim asylum under Ireland’s dehumanizing Direct Provision system, women of disparate colours and backgrounds, those with varying sexual identities and disabilities: it’s a vote for all women, and now isn’t a time that men can be complacent or indifferent. May 25 gifts Irish citizens – men equally – the opportunity to right one of our nation’s great wrongs. Though cis men will never know what it is like to carry a pregnancy, men are inextricably linked to this upcoming referendum. Men have a duty to engage with, support, and amplify female voices and stories so that an experience like Savita and Praveen’s is never relived again.

, http://www.dazeddigital.com/politics/article/40058/1/why-mens-voices-are-vital-in-irelands-abortion-referendum