#I’m gonna have to figure out how to do the line art in a way where idk

[wigglebox]

Suptober [Extended] - Day 24 || Smoke

[snaileer]

Time Unsolved

Dp Unsolved

“Today on Buzzfeed unsolved we cover the Timely Disappearance of Charles T. Williamsworth.”

Danny slurped loudly on his drink as the intro played. Was he maybe crazy for watching a Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime alone, at night? Maybe.

But Danny had been attacked by ghosts. What was a human gonna do that Skulker couldn’t?

“What a name!” Shane cut it immediately, yellow words typing themself across the screen. Ryan laughed.

“‘Ello, yes, my name is Sir Charles T. Williamsworth, how art thou Ah yes, jolly good!” Shane mimicked with a horrifically bad posh British accent.

Ryan laughed harder, “We’ve been to London, they don’t sound like that!” He said between laughs.

“Uh, /he does! There’s no way a man with a name like that is not ‘mm yes I will take a spot of tea with my biscuit thank you.’ I’m calling it, he definitely talked like that!”

Danny smiled at the antics as Ryan wheezed, “Well it’s too bad we’ll never know for sure then isn’t it, what with his disappearance, y’know what we’re actually here to talk about.”

“That’s okay. /I’ll know. I know my buddy Charles.”

“Alright then.”

The screen was lit up with an image of a man on a black backdrop.

“The Williamsworths were a French-German family who moved to Biel, Switzerland in early 1914, just months before the largest war in European history kicked off.

They were one of the lucky few families to have left France before the war broke out…”

“Oh a family moving, that’s suspicious now?” Shane cut in.

“Well, it was right before World War 1, I mean the timing is kind of suspicious.” Ryan replied in blue.

-People move, Ryan.-

-Okay, okay, it’s just the facts of the case,.-

Danny rolled his eyes, ready for the story to continue.

The images came back.

“This move would evidently prove to be quite fortunate for the family for obvious reasons. However, it also led Charles to find his true passion: … Watchmaking.”

There was a pause as a map of Switzerland came on screen. “Biel, the town that Charles would live in for the majority of his recorded younger life, was known for watchmaking, being one of several in the heart of an area named ‘Watch Valley.’ “

-You ever own a Swiss watch?-

-Nope-

-Heard they’re good. Reeeal good.-

-Yep.-

-…-

“Charles would reportedly develop a passion for clocks, watches, and timepieces in general, only getting more entrenched in his obsession over time.”

The image of the man now shifted to be overlaid on a map.

“By the time the First World War was over, Charles had gained an ostentatious apprenticeship under one of the premiere watchmakers of the time, Max Stührling. This lasted until Stührling’s death in 1938, after which Charles vanished from any records for two years.”

-Well y’know, his mentor had just died. -Maybe he wanted to grieve. Y’know curl up in his room and not see anybody for a bit.-

Ryan laughed, -2 years, he was crying in his room for 2 years and nobody found him?-

-Well, it’s not like records were great back then, I mean what are you gonna write on the census… just.. like..-

-Loud weeping heard from inside. One resident. Unnamed.-

-Yeah!-

“The next time Charles T. Williamsworth appears on record, it is in the back of a photo from France in 1940. Showing Williamsworth standing in front of a watch shop wearing dark clothes, a distinct pocket watch, and looking into the camera.”

The black and white image appears on screen, zooming in on the background figure. Danny tilts his head at it, something about it niggling at him.

“The shop and its owner would go on to be infamous within the town for the duration of the Second World War. Charles was unwillingly drafted in the summer of 1941, serving on the front lines for no more than 3 months before sustaining a wound to his face, leaving him with damaged eyesight, facial scarring, and a medical discharge.

He returned to his shop soon after.”

Danny frowned at the mention of what the man had probably gone through.

“With later evidence statements regarding Charles stating that he was an ‘odd man. He never mentioned the war, leaving it behind once he was not forced to be a part of it. He seemed to be separate from it all, he only cared for his watches.’

This sense of separation would extend to his shop, as when the town was bombed in 1944 leading up to D-day, his shop was left miraculously unharmed. It was reportedly open the very next day.”

-I can appreciate the dedication- Shane says in yellow.

-Yeah, I mean, the morning after is a bit soon, but he did really love watches. If he didn’t have to, I guess he wasn’t gonna close his shop.-

-He’s advertising, ‘Sure you were almost killed in a fiery explosion, but look! I’ve got new watches!’-

Ryan laughs.

“Over the next 50 years, Charles T. Williamsworth would disappear from records repeatedly, sometimes for months, only present on seven censuses between 1952 and 1979. Despite this, the clock shop was never sold, remaining in wait for its master’s return.”

Multiple pictures of pocket watches came onscreen. “It became known in the surrounding area for especially good pocket watches and grandfather clocks. Each personally made using Swiss essemblage practices, often engraved.

While it was a place of prestige, some described the shop as having ‘an unbearably loud sound of ticking, as if a thousand clocks were set to the same second.’

Apparently, Charles ‘seemed to enjoy the sound, often standing in the front room when no one was present. He was able to pick out one clock if it was off time.’ Witnesses stated.”

It cut to showing Shane and Ryan at their table.

“God, I can’t imagine. That’d drive me crazy.” Shane said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I don’t know, a thousand clocks at the same time? Just..” Ryan looked back and forth frantically, as if there were sounds from every direction, “I’d go nuts pretty fast, I can’t even handle one sometimes.”

“I’d just go off and punch one of the clocks, just- RAAAH and -oh my god is that where that comes from?! I’m gonna punch your clock? Or like you clock somebody!?! Oh my god I never realized that!”

Danny’s jaw drops at the realization as Ryan laughs. Shane looks to be losing his mind as well.

“However, Charles’ most notable disappearance was his last.”

Dramatic music played as Danny zoned back in.

“Due to his frequency of vanishing for extended periods of time, it is unknown when exactly Charles disappeared. The last definite sighting of Charles T. Williamsworth was late at night on April 23rd, 1999, when neighborhood patrolman, Elliot Dubois, noticed him locking the door to his shop with its lights still on. Elliot, concerned for the safety of the elderly man, questioned him but eventually allowed Charles to leave, noting that he turned down a road that only led into the woods outside of town.

Two weeks later, 12 year old James Chappellè, a mailboy in the area, noted during his morning run on May 7 that mail had begun to pile up in front of the shop’s door.

Something that had never happened before.”

The word ‘before’ faded into red.

“It reached such a point that the mail system declared they would no longer deliver, as they couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t be stolen.

At this point, the police got involved and the case was assigned to Detective Jacob Laurent.

It turned out to be a more difficult case than first expected, as when they looked into Charles’ past, they were unable to turn up any such notable documents as a birth certificate nor any document containing a birthdate.

But when police entered the shop on May 10th, they found it largely empty, with only the shelves, register, and equipment left remaining between the front and back room.

It should be noted that there was still money in the register, and a light on in the back though the other bulbs for the front seemed to have been burnt out.

Upon entering the living space above the shop, it was found to be covered in dust, and all of Charles’ clothes and belongings still present.

Rather, there was evidence that Charles largely slept in his shop, with a cot beside his workbench.

A workbench that, upon police entry, only held one gold pocketwatch, personally engraved with the initials ‘C. W.’ As it was known for Charles to always carry the pocketwatch, he was officially declared missing and possibly presumed dead.

The watch’s presence also led detective Laurent to suspect foul play.

However, despite the declaration of foul play, the police did not extensively search the town woods, citing the size and density of the forest.”

The video cut to Shane staring at Ryan, face deadpan. Ryan was clearly trying to hold back laughs.

“So… let me get this straight… an old man who’s… how old at this point exactly?”

Ryan laughs, “Nobody knows, there’s no known birthday-“

“That’s weird too, but okay, let’s say he’s like what, at least 95? I mean… there’s a certain age that like if you disappear… ..eh.” Shane shrugged.

Ryan looked at him incredulously, “Eh??”

“Yeah,” Shane shrugged again, “Eh.”

“What???”

“I mean… y’know… old people wander into the woods sometimes, maybe he just went for a walk and got lost. At that age… death has gotta be around every corner, I mean come on!”

Ryan wheezed into his elbow.

Danny laughed quietly.

Once Ryan calmed down, he organized the file, clipping it down on the table, “So! With the story finished, let’s get into the theories,”

Shane rolled his eyes, “Oh god this is gonna be one of yours isn’t it? What ghosts are abducting people now?”

Danny smiled, briefly considering how much effort it would take to go haunt Shane all the way in LA.

“The first theory is that Charles T. Williamsworth was involved with the mafia at the time and was a long standing or high ranking member that had crossed the wrong people.

Some reasons for this theory is the lack of early documents, suggesting a fake identity or forgery.

This case is especially supported by the long absences, where his shop remained closed and yet still remained in his possession.

In fact, the deed for the shop was not listed under Charles’ name, instead Iisted as owned under a private organization.

This theory explains his disappearance and possible subsequent death as an act of revenge from an enemy made from illicit activities. Leaving no body behind, there would be no evidence to prosecute the acting party.

Within this, there are also some who believe that if Charles was engaged in the mafia and lived under a false identity, that his disappearance was him returning to his actual identity, possibly due to being caught.

Prison records indicate 6 Swiss-German inmates arrested at the approximate time of his disappearance, roughly matching the age and appearance of Charles. Notably, none of them had a distinct facial scar and no identification was ever confirmed.”

The screen switched.

Shane smiled at Ryan, “Oh Ho Ho, my boy Charles is getting into some funky stuff, huh? Workin’ for the Mob, breaking knees, chopping fingers?”

Ryan laughed, “Yeah maybe, it definitely lends credit to him being a part of something. Maybe he was out in the woods breaking knees y’know. Or burying something.”

“Someone,…”Shane said ominously, then burst out laughing, “What if he buried himself! Just-“Shane mimed digging, clapping his hands like he was wiping off dust, “Alright, thats a good illegal grave right there, just a good hole for a dead- woaaah!” He pretended to fall, “Boom, stuck in his own grave.”

“Really, this old man dug a 6 foot deep grave? On his own?”

“Hey you don’t know his strength, maybe he lifts.”

“Alright.” Ryan shook his head, still grinning.

Danny smiled, considering it, it did kind of make sense.

“The second theory is that Charles T. Williamsworth did indeed just walk into the woods and never come out. If this is the case, what happened in the woods is widely speculated on. Some saying that animals may have attacked him, or that he simply fell or was injured and could not get up due to his age.

This theory loses support due to the fact that no body was ever found. Though some say that if the woods were too big for the police to search, there may be a den or that his body was covered naturally.”

“Or in a grave.”

“You really think he was mafia?”

“I mean, who could tell?” Shane shrugged.

“The third theory, much like the first, is that Charles was a federal agent for one of the Allied Powers.

This theory is also supported by the significant periods of absence and lack of documents to indicate a forged identity, meant to fool the German government and allow him to work behind the lines. However, unlike the first, there is also evidence of a man with the same distinct scar on his eye, showing up in the background of photos at the British Intelligence Office, the Eiffel Tower during Germany’s occupancy, and behind closed Swiss borders.

None of which would be possible without the unique skills and permissions of a government agent.”

Silence reigned as Shane and Ryan stared each other down, Shane clearly ramping up for something.

“The name’s Williamsworth. Charles Williamsworth.” He said dramatically.

Ryan burst out laughing. “You support this one more then?”

“Yeah, I’ve changed my mind, he’s not in the mafia. His suspicious activities were in the name of secrecy, national secrets, confidential war trades. Espionage…”

“Well I guess, nobody’s gonna suspect the 95 year old man to be up to anything. I mean, if I saw an old man somewhere I’d just be like, huh I wonder who lost their grandpa, not ‘I bet he’s secretly working to take down Hitler.’ Y’know.”

“Charles gets caught: just ‘Whaa-at me~e? I’m just a gentle~e o~ ol~ld ma~an, I can’t harm nobody~y.” Shane mimed leaning over a cane.

“He gets caught and just pretends he has dementia, ‘Who am I? Who are you? Why am I here? Where’s my breakfast?”

Shane cackled as Ryan laughed.

Danny considered it more, this one seemed the most likely, though… he’d definitely be the oldest agent.

“Another theory is that the shop was robbed and Charles returned while or before it was happening, catching the criminals off guard and leading them to react rashly, injuring or killing Charles. They then would have hidden his body and cleaned out the shop to hide any other evidence.

This theory however is disproven by the lack of money taken from the register.

Despite this, it is the official claimed circumstance by the police at the time.”

“Fucking police, always with the boring one.” Shane said ruefully.

“Our last theory, and my personal favorite,-“

Shane groaned. Danny smiled, this was gonna be good.

“-is that Charles T Williamsworth was a time traveler. And that all of his disappearances were when he was traveling through time.

This theory supports his families early move to Switzerland under odd timing, his appearance in so many photos and even his obsession with clocks. As well as why he seemed unbothered by the tumultuous times.”

“I can… accept it.” Shane said, hesitant.

Ryan laughed, “I’ll take it.”

“Despite all of these theories, there is still significant information missing from the case.

And so, like clockwork this case shall remain:

Unsolved.”

Danny’s mouth dropped as the screen went dark.

No way.

No freaking way.

He lurched upwards, eyes wide.

Obsessed with clocks, scar on his eye, fricking weird and talks in riddles.

Oh mygod!

Danny threw himself out of bed, “I’ve connected the dots!” He rushed to untangle himself from his sheets, transforming immediately, “I’ve connected them!”

He dove for the ghost portal.

Holy frick!

Charles T. Williamsworth was Clockwork!

[sheikfangirl]

Hey there! I’m a longtime Zelda fan, especially BOTW/TOTK, and in my time in the fandom, I’ve never been overly fond of the idea of ZeLink, that is to say, until I saw your gorgeous art and read your headcanons, they are such a wholesome couple and so supporting of each other and ahhh! I ship ZeLink because of you! im always hugely into ship art and seeing what others come up with, but so far you are on top of my list of fav Zelda ship artists, I get excited and tingly whenever I see that you posted 😂🫶

Along with me gushing about your 👌👌👌 art, I wanted to ask because I love your style; how do you go about choosing the colors for the shadowing on the characters, I noticed yours always comes out so perfectly contrasting and vivid! and I noticed that you use different colored line-art depending on the base colors of the subjects, (and I’ve seen a lot of other artists do it too) I have wanted to try it out for awhile, but I haven’t figured out how to pick the right line art colors, and was hoping for some tips if you’re willing 💜💜💜💜💜 again, love your art

OMG @stellercherry you adorable PERSON! Let me virtual hug you!! 🤗 The idea of my art making you receptive to Zelink makes my heart melt! Thank you so much for your kind words!! YAS THEY ARE WHOLESOME!!! I love BotW Zelink because of it's stark contrast with my other fav Zelink, OoT! oh no...i must not think of OoT, i will crawl under my desk again and cry.

So, yeah, I got a few tricks up my sleeve cuz i am actually a Senior 2D Artist in the game industry irl 🤭 I will gladly share with you (and everyone who is reading this reply because you are not to first to ask :) a couple of art tricks I wish I knew when I was a junior artist. I sincerely believe in knowledge sharing and no way i'm gonna be a gate keeper. Gate keeping artists are not cool imo. English is not my first language, and explaining art with words is tedious... i'm gonna ask Drake and visual references to help me out!

yeah.... this makes me realise this Zelink piece could've have way better contrast value lol. Oh well! I really hope this will be useful! Good luck with your art projects, and, as corny as it sounds, don't forget: have fun!! Cheers!!!

[kidovna]

Do you have any tips on getting better at anatomy and dimension? You always draw such beautiful, dynamic and expressive people!! So i was wondering if you have any tips for people who struggle with that? I also love whenever you share your life drawings because your sketches always look so smooth and effortless, and I would really like to learn but I have no idea where to start lol. I know you're probably sick of being asked this but I really look up to your art!

hello! i’m so honoured, thank you! i would normally say “live sketching is the best way to improve!” but you’ve already seen my live sketches so ill see if i can list down all the other things that helped me with my art journey:

using references - online, but also references of yourself (or someone you know who can do it for you). you are going to be able to get exact references to what you want to draw when you pose for it yourself. this is something i started considering only after i was forced to do acting for animation at uni. it’s really helpful!

learn to draw cloth and folds. when you’re drawing people there’s a 90% chance they’re in clothes, so observes and see how different materials look when they’re hanging or scrunched up or blowing in the wind.

the coil technique by sycra helped me out a LOT when i was trying to figure out foreshortening and make the character still seem like a solid structure.

line weight is another great way to show volume without shading. it also makes the line art process a lot of fun!

and i’ve heard many other artists say this and i stand by it too. find something you’re interested in and keep drawing for it. eventually you’re gonna get really good at it! and then you find the next thing and keep drawing that!

if anyone has any more tips feel free to leave it in the replies! i hope you have a good time drawing <3

[thefangirltreehouse]

sebastian sallow | general thoughts / headcanons with gryffindor!mc

this is just overall thoughts on the sebastian arc and his general characterisation (yes, i am continuing to update this on my second playthrough)

spoilers below

the amount of times i’ve caught sebastian looking at mc through the start of my now second play-through is hilariously adorable, like don’t get me wrong the herbology one is absolutely the best, but i noticed that throughout charms sebastian is just staring at mc (like he’s straight up starts ignoring ominis speaking to him when they walk in the room) also the slight glances in defence against the dark arts before the duel is so cute.

he does it again whilst sirona and rookwood are arguing, like he just turns to them and similes

you can’t convince me otherwise that mc didn’t grab at least his arm to pull him away from ranrok, like it genuinely looks like that and if you squint hard enough it looks like he does the same thing when heading into the three broomsticks

listen i’m specifically playing as fem! & gryffindor! and the missions with ominis feel so reminiscent of the golden trio (i’m calling it now, they’re the electrum trio - a metal mixed with gold and sliver) especially the crucio side-mission

saw someone in a comment sum their dynamic up perfectly from my perspective

“i used to have beef with ominis before this (crucio) quest happened and now it’s me, a gryffindor dragging two slytherins by their shirt collars”

slight tangent but ominis is so sweet if you start as a slytherin! i saw my friend start his game and meet him in the common room and i was like “i’m sorry, is this the same tory bastard that yelled at me for nicking his pal?”

if anything sebastian comes off worse in that section.

almost every streamer i’ve came across assumes he’s flirting, like this was absolutely intentional

when either of the boys, particularly sebastian is speaking to imelda and the conversation of mc comes up she absolutely refers to mc as “that gryffindor of yours”

i mean, it’s the age old rivalry that just gives everything that extra oomph! despite the fact nobody seems to be questioning that a gryffindor has closely befriended not one, but two slytherins because that certainly isn't suspicious (i'm surprised one of the gryffindors didn't bring it up - particularly leander)

speaking of leander, why are the more prominent gryffindors (and ravenclaws) so antagonistic or hellbent on getting us in trouble?

sebastian’s jealously towards both his friends is dripping in the crucio quest like, in the line below i know he means because mc and ominis have special abilities but...

"between the two of you, i'm starting to feel left out"

the constant proud "that's my girl" look on his face

"never know who's watching - although that hasn't stopped us before." "strictly speaking, it has. we were caught."

also at the start of the library mission, anyone notice the way he's casually waiting on mc against the banister smiling up at her? or whilst he's waiting on her and ominis to figure out the location of the scriptorium? like, this boy knows he's the shit.

listen, there are certain things that sebastian said and did during his storyline that even at that age, i would’ve noped out of but i went in with a “yes, corrupt the little goody-two-shoes gryffindor madly infatuated with you” attitude and honestly it was so much fun. cause objectively yeah, sebastian should be expelled at the very least but my mc was not gonna let them do that (they're very much giving jd and veronica)

that said, mc isn't about to let him walk all over her, she's a gryffindor for a reason, she's just had some misguided judgement

don’t love how there isn’t much of a reaction from either boy after crucio is cast on mc, especially from sebastian (again, massive red flag) but also, think the devs missed the mark on that one like sebastian is still mc’s friend, yeah he really wants to see anne healed but a little sympathy shown would’ve been nice and a proper acknowledgement of what'd he'd done.

even if sebastian shrugged it off quickly he should've helped them walk or at least offered a hand to stand up

i love the wee house jibes, i wish we got more of them!

"you're not a bad chap, for a slytherin" "you gryffindors don't have a monopoly on bravery y'know"

an awful lot of english folk in the scottish highlands

sebastian and poppy are talking whilst leaving a class and my brain was like “omg her bf + gf are talking!”

i want triwizard and yule so badly!

the red and the green / gold and silver looks, look so good!

mc makes a comment about how amazed sebastian will be when she tells him that she took down the ashwinders by herself

"it'd be wise to keep an eye on you"

_____

general headcanons (oc-ish)

he'd absolutely mutter continuous little digs and comments throughout their classes simply to get under her skin and make her smile whilst she's trying to listen to their professors (he used to do this to ominis but he's able to ignore sebastian now after years of the torment)

whilst having dinner in the great hall they won't be sitting together but they'll lightly tap or nudge one another on the back if they're passing behind each-other's designated tables

sebastian refers to the fat lady painting as the "golden gate keeper of mediocrity" after walking mc back to gryffindor tower, which earns him a mildly deserved elbow jab

he gives mc piggy-backs during their trips to hogsmead and the quidditch pitch

whilst she's walking to and from classes with cressida or natsai, sebastian is regularly seen inserting himself between them, putting an arm over mc and / or pinching her away over to ominis and nerida

"who would've thought, all it took was a snake to tame the lion" cressida noted to a disinterested leander, peering over at the scarlet robes peaking beneath the sea of green

mc likes to softly poke at his blushing cheeks, joking that if sebastian "gets any redder, he won't be allowed back into slytherin" or that "he might have to come back to gryffindor with her"

mc has on occasion accidently fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder during history of magic

most of the gryffindors (nellie, leander and garreth in particular) will tease sebastian as he waits for her outside the common room, claiming "she was ours first" and attempt to distract her for as long as possible beyond the painting just to 'knock 'im down a few pegs'

they're well aware she's highly capable of holding her own, but not only is he a slytherin, he's also sebastian sallow so they're protective

he much prefers bumping into natty, who'll make a light "lost puppy" joke, share laugh and proceed to actually go get mc or he would actively seek out lucan because he knows the kid sucks-up to him but eventually the older gryffindors caught-on and would bribe lucan with chocolate frogs to stop him in his tracks

mc enjoys exposing sebastian to muggle trinkets and snacks, she grew up in a travelling circus with her parents, a ringmaster and fortune teller who never attended hogwarts in their youth (i'm gonna do a separate oc bio)

the trio all share a love of pumpkin pasties and lavender tea so whoever has a free period (or when sebastian has detention) will pop down to the kitchen to collect some

forehead kisses, hugs and interlocked arms whilst exploring the castle are everything to these two (their subtle little height difference is adorable, especially when you remember fem!mc is wearing wee wedged shoes at the start of the game)

highwing isn't his biggest fan (prefers ominis) and mc relishes in that

[ohisms]

↪     𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑽𝑰𝑳 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝑬 .    (   a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  the  2022  supermassive  game  “ the devil in me ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .  spoilers  &  mature  themes  are  present .  ) 

i bet you can see a hundred miles from the top .

you mean you’re not weary of me after an entire day of marriage ?

are we the only ones here ?

that’s no way to run a business .

that’s my [ name ] ,  always finding that silver lining .

my attention was needed elsewhere .

i promise from here on out ,  it will be nothing but silver linings .

today is a very special day for us .

i’m starting to think i’ve gone  &  married a thrill seeker .

are we looking for excitement ?

see what happens when you chase a thrill ?

if you’ll excuse me ,  i have work to return to .

i’m sure we’ll see each other again soon .

this feels like some sort of treacherous plot .

close your eyes ,  &  face the mirror .

aren’t you clever  &  romantic ?

don’t fight it  ...  it’ll only hurt more if you do .

you’re only prolonging the inevitable .

what have you done ?!

you’re wasting your last chance to tell him that you love him .

it’s so good to have company .  for a long time ,  i was on my own .

i can barely recall a time when i was not here .

what good are stories without someone to experience them ?

art can elicit all sorts of reactions .

you’re responsible for what happens .  you’re culpable .

i can’t interfere ,  that’s very much against the rules .

it’s tough being honest when it means everyone just thinks you’re a bitch .

i’m sick of being on my own .

it’s a fucking mess ,  to be honest with you .

i think we’ve heard quite enough .

i was born with the devil in me .

i could not help the fact that i was a murderer any more than a poet can help the inspiration to sing .

just being dead ain’t enough to stop me from killing again .

actually ,  it’s what i can do for you .

do you know where we’re going ,  exactly ?

it was 100% your fault .  you fly by the seat of your ass .

was this part of the plan ?  did you know about this ?

i figured we needed all the help we could get .

downtime ?  why would you want to do that ?

i’ve got a lot going on at the moment ,  [ name ] .

you got any family you can go bother ?

‘ married to the job ’ ...  how’s that marriage working out ?

we agreed to let that drop for the weekend .

sorry for giving you a hard time .

christ ,  what the hell is that ?

it’s gonna be okay ,  it’s all gonna be okay .

i’ll explain everything later .

are you sure ?  ‘cos you don’t seem sure .

i’m charming ,  &  you can hotwire your way past security .

hey ,  can i ask you something  &  get a straight answer ?

shh ,  get down !

this is ridiculous ,  there’s nothing out here .

i heard you were looking for a new place .

if i wanted to go on nature hikes ,  i wouldn’t have moved to the city .

you can do it .  eyes forward ,  don’t look down .

you always knew how to get me through the shit ,  didn’t you ?

maybe this won’t be a waste of a weekend .

i told you this was a good plan ,  didn’t i ?

you’ve been out  &  about all day ,  &  i have to sit here worrying .  gone all day ,  &  not a word from you !

i don’t think we’re the only ones here .

this is my don’t be scared song ,  sing it  &  i won’t be scared long !

scream if you need me for anything .

something about this place makes me wanna use the buddy system .

you talk in your sleep   ...   not sure if i ever told you that .

you’re cute when you’re worked up .

cute ?   ...  you think i’m cute ?

i try to pretend like it isn’t a thing ,  you know .

if my cheeks are red ,  it’s from this wine .

sorry .  didn’t mean to make you feel weird .

i’m fucking with you ,  i’ve been wanting to kiss you for months .

sorry ,  did i interrupt something ?

i can’t find my room  &  i need a fucking cigarette .

i’m not stressed ,  okay ?  do i look fucking stressed ?

this place is massive ,  surely there’s a pack of cigarettes here .

stick with me ,  [ name ] ,  i’m going places .

[ name ] ,  there’s something important you have to understand .

no ,  come on ,  you piece of shit  ...  don’t do this to me !

i’m supposed to buy  “ nothing ”  is eating up at you ?

i still think your priorities are fucked .

what about taking a huge risk  &  just DO something ?

are you trying to butter me up ?

we don’t need to rehash stuff ,  let’s just work .

you’re only asking me ‘cos your arms are too short for a good selfie angle .

maybe we should just add this topic to our  “ discussion no - fly zone ”  list .

shit ,  that scared the fuck out of me .

at some point ,  you have to give up the ghost .

you’ve been doing your research ,  haven’t you ?

are you taking a survey or trying to learn something ?

would it kill you to be direct ?

you want to know what inspired me ?  as if i wasn’t the original ?

you look amazing ,  as usual .

i heard enough ,  thank you ,  i know what betrayal sounds like .

i’m not blind ,  i know what i saw .

this could work to our advantage .

am i the only one that’s getting really freaked out by this place ?

can you stop trying to make this worse ?

don’t come crying to me if you end up dead .

choices ,   [ name ] ,  make better choices .

this is your own damn fault .

it’s all about the honey trap .

you bring me some smokes ?  like i asked ?

that’s what i remember most .  those screams .

you’ll never really know how it feels to watch the fire burn out of somebody .

thanks for that stuff you said at dinner .  it was nice to hear .

we’re all on the same side ,  sometimes we forget .

get me out of here !  i can’t see a thing !

count your breaths .  one,  two,  three,  in  ...

how very rude ,  not to stay for dinner .

i can only observe ,  &  it can be  ...  frustrating to watch .

in some ways ,  i envy you .

something is very not right here .

i’ve been waiting on you for ages to actually make a decision about something ,  anything ,   &  now this is when you suddenly choose to take a stand ?

your delusions make for such great plans .

would it kill you to think positively just once ?

it’s not even the worst idea i’ve had this evening .

don’t go patting yourself on the back ,  i still think your priorities are fucked .

i can care about more than one thing at a time .

working this job has made me really understand what a sociopath is .

you always assume the worst .

help me !   please  --  please ,  i’ll do anything !

maybe you’re right ,  but you don’t need to be an asshole about it .

i guess i was holding out for things to change with us .

i have never once shied away from telling you where my priorities were .

i have to live with it every day  &  now someone knows .

someone WANTED me to find this .

you have to get the fuck out ANY way you can .  just get the FUCK OUT !

are you losing your shit ?  ‘cos i don’t need that right now .

maybe we just focus on one thing at a time .

[ name ]  ...  i found a way out ,  maybe .

i don’t know what i was expecting .

what the fuck is this ?

[ name ] ,  what are you doing ?  just stay back .

no way this is happening .

it’s gotta be fake  ...  a prop ,  or from  ...  an animal or something .

it can be difficult working with someone you’ve been involved with .

i think we can bust through this thing .

i’ve had enough of this shit ,  what the hell is going on ?

the walls are moving again .

i’m not a fuckin’ lab rat here for your amusement !

don’t look at me like that .  you know i’m right .  you get it .

you got to do something that matters .

think of the most profound thing you’ve ever done .

i see the gleam in your eye ,  [ name ] .  you can’t fool me .

there  ...  there you are .  i see you now .

bare hands can feel good ,  huh ?  but the blade makes for such a prettier picture .

how far down does it go ?

there’s blood everywhere ,  &  ...  &  a body .

one of us is going to have to be bait .

you could use that as a weapon if need be .

what an excruciating way to go .

people can surprise you sometimes .

as always ,  i’ll be watching very closely .

hurry the fuck up !

it’s a forest ,  it could be anything .

can you not freak me out even more than i already am ?

i wasn’t expecting you .

you’re a selfish monster  ...  always have been .

predictable little shit ,  i know you .

[ name ] !  i thought i lost you .

all good things must come to an end .

can you find your own way out ?

i have no doubt we’ll meet again in the future .

[celluloidbroomcloset]

People in other fandom are criticising the 1st gentlebeard kiss again, and I think we need to discuss how this is the result of oversexualation in queer media

I’m assuming that other fandom refers to the Canyon? I’ve mostly either blocked or been blocked by them, it seems, which is perfectly fine by me. They don’t want to see me and I don’t want to see them.

I’ve written, as have others, about how there’s a clear progression to those kisses, from the very tentative sweetness of the first and the absolute confidence of the last. In that beach scene, Ed can barely get out what he wants to say, and Stede doesn't immediately clock what it means (because he's dealing with that initial emotion of "I make...you...happy?"). I’m not sure what was wanted with the first kiss? Like, full-on snog? How would that make sense to either of those characters at that point? It might even have looked like assault, since Stede is obviously surprised and not quite expecting it. The fact that it is gentle and unsure is part of their relationship - they’re figuring out who they are to each other, and Ed especially is being so careful about how he does it.

In terms of oversexualization generally...I'm not a queer media scholar or critic, though I've done work with queer theory and I know a lot of Hollywood history. So much of mainstream queer media was initially about subtext and suffering - characters that were typed as queer without being made explicitly so (because they literally couldn't), stories that treated queerness as a mental illness or that ended in death and destruction. So there's been a natural pushback against all that, often outside the mainstream and then more into the mainstream now. I think there was also a desire to shock the straight world, hence things like John Waters's films, Rocky Horror, etc. (not knocking these - I fuckin' love 'em), which are also in conversation with pornography.

With Our Flag Means Death and a handful of other shows and films (Good Omens, A League of Their Own, Heartstopper, etc.) there's been major movement forward, in part because there are more queer writers/artists/creators getting a say in mainstream texts. But there's still that fear of assimilation - because mainstream. So there's a cadre that will demand that if it's queer, it's gotta be explicit. It's gotta shock the straights. Which leads, eventually, to a sanding away of complicated emotions and nuance and not allowing characters or plots to progress in an organic way. There has to be space for sexualization if it's natural to the story, but it can't be forced.

I would absolutely have been upset if all we ever got was that beach kiss, and all we ever saw was Ed and Stede barely kissing each other. That wouldn't have made sense to the story that was being told. I even remember messaging my friend after "Curse of the Seafaring Life" that I was glad they "finally got a proper kiss." And looking back, even then, I was pretty much thinking that that's all we were gonna get, because I've been so conditioned to just expect crumbs in mainstream media. (Also, like, I remember very well how Ellen lost her sitcom when she came out, how people had an absolute fit about Will & Grace featuring a nonromantic same-sex kiss, and how all the interviews around Brokeback Mountain were along the lines of "how terribly uncomfortable was it to kiss a dude?!" So the idea of two straight actors maybe possibly not being grossed out by kissing each other is relatively new, in terms of media history.)

I think some of this is a desire for all queer media to be all things. That if any show doesn’t do ALL THE THINGS, then it is bad and problematic. And that’s just not the nature of art. It would be awful if they tried to do all the things. It wouldn’t work. But that's also a result of having so little explicitly queer stuff, especially from mainstream shows/films, that when something like OFMD or Good Omens comes along, it gets picked apart and people are upset that it didn't do all the things. The more queer stories there are, the less we'll have to depend on single works and the less infighting there will be.

Well, there, I wrote way too much. This is all very complicated and I'm not trying to pretend that it's easy to distill down or that I'm 100% right here. I'd be happy to hear other opinions or caveats (that are not "no, I love Izzy, therefore you're wrong").

[hbyrde36]

Chapter 7: Extended Stay

No Vacancy

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 AO3 link

CW: Smut

*EDDIE*

Eddie laid awake for a long time after Steve fell asleep in his arms. He gazed at the other man’s face and couldn't quite believe what had just happened. It felt like a dream, though he knew it wasn’t. Even his admittedly wild imagination couldn’t possibly have come up with such gorgeous images on its own. He had been in awe, transfixed from the moment Steve told him to take his clothes off and traced the pattern of his tattoo with eyes and fingertips with a reverence usually reserved for works of art.

Eddie had been with his fair share of partners, he knew what it was like to be wanted, but no one before now had made him feel like that, precious and beautiful.  

It was all so overwhelming. He’d been completely unprepared for how devastating it would feel to sink inside the deepest part of his boy for the first time.

Not his boy though, not yet. That was why he couldn't sleep. It wasn’t only because he couldn’t stop replaying in his mind the desperate sounds Steve made as he tried to fuck himself harder and faster on Eddie’s fingers, though that was definitely a contributing factor. No, it was because he knew that come morning he would have to talk, and say all the right things because he could not fuck this up.

Because Eddie was ruined now. He would never be the same after this, and all it had taken was one night.  

When he could no longer fight it, he settled down and closed his eyes, recalling the thought he’d had before that it would be far too easy to fall in love with Steve Harrington. As he finally let the exhaustion of the day pull him under into sleep, he had the sinking feeling that he already had. 

Eddie woke in the same position he’d fallen asleep in, flat on his back, arms wrapped around Steve who was resting on his chest. There was a tension in the body he held, telling him that the other man was already awake. Sure enough, when he looked he found a pair of soft hazel eyes staring back at him nervously from under a thick curtain of lashes. 

“Hi.” Eddie said, voice thick with sleep and all the other things that were bubbling back up to the surface now that he was conscious. 

“Hi.” Steve replied robotically.

The air between them was strained. Eddie hated it, knowing it was his fault. He smoothed the hair back from Steve's face and kissed his forehead, trying and failing to think of where to begin. It was all a bit scarier in the daylight.

“Steve, I’m… “ was as far as he got before the words got caught in his throat. He cleared it and tried again, rushing out. “I’m gonna take a quick shower.” 

Which was definitely not at all what he had intended to say, but he needed a minute. Just a minute, that was all. He slid gently out from under Steve, squeezing his arm in a way that he hoped was comforting before he fled to their shared bathroom. 

He actually did feel a little gross, not having showered the day before, so Eddie washed himself quickly then stood under the hot spray for a long time after, feeling lost. For someone who hardly ever shut the fuck up, he wasn’t kidding when he told Steve he didn’t know how to talk. He could bullshit all day but conversations about feelings weren’t exactly something Eddie had a lot of experience with growing up, or since.

The creak of the bathroom door opening pulled him from his thoughts. He must have been in there too long, he figured, and waited for Steve to say something. To ask if he was okay or to yell at him, anything, but it never came. Instead Steve quietly peeled back the curtain just enough to step into the shower and join him. 

Neither of them spoke as Steve crowded up behind him and wrapped arms around his waist. Like the night before they let their bodies do the talking. Steve kissed a line from his shoulder to his neck, pressing into him from behind. Eddie shivered, feeling the way Steve’s cock was filling out as he leaned back into the touch. 

His heart pounded as his fantasy came to life, then Steve turned him around, drawing him into a deep but brief kiss before sinking lower, and the sight of Steve there on his knees with Eddie’s cock down his throat was better than any daydream. It was over quickly, but Eddie didn’t mind. Steve’s mouth felt far too good to last, and he was eager to return the favor one way or another.

It was a bit better between them after the shower, nothing like a little more sex to break the ice, but Eddie still felt the pressure mounting to explain himself. He sat Steve down on the edge of the bed, each of them only wearing a towel tied around their waist, while he paced a hole in the floor.

It all had to start with an apology, that much he was sure of, but every time he looked at Steve he had the overwhelming urge to rip the towel off of him and see how long he could hold his breath as he choked himself on... 

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and took a couple deep steadying breaths. 

“Sorry, this was a mistake. Can you-”

Steve interrupted him mid sentence as a small wounded noise escaped from his throat. Eddie immediately cursed himself for his poor choice of words. 

“Shit. No, sweetheart. Fuck, sorry!” He babbled, holding his hands up in front of him. “I mean, I can’t concentrate with you sitting there in only a towel. Can we just-” He trailed off, finally opening his eyes again to find Steve looking both relieved and a little amused.

“You want me to put some clothes on?” Steve asked, fighting off a smirk

“Please.”

When they were both dressed and Eddie could think with his actual brain, he sat down next to Steve, took one of his hands, and hoped for the best.

“I’m sorry for the way that I acted, have been acting. It wasn’t fair to you, not when I took off yesterday morning, or when I walked away from you at the beach, and definitely not when I brought other guys home to try and distract myself from the fact that you were consuming my every fucking thought. You deserved better.”

Steve was quiet, letting Eddie's words sink in as he chewed on his bottom lip. Eventually, he asked, “Why did you do all that, and what… changed?”

“Apart from thinking you were straight? Fear, mostly.“ Eddie paused, taking a deep breath to calm his racing pulse. “I don’t do this, Steve. I don’t date, if that’s even what you’re looking for out of this.” 

Steve nodded, squeezing Eddie’s hand encouragingly, so he pressed on. 

“I don't… trust people enough to let them in, Wayne and Chrissy being the exception. I've never wanted to, before. But with you, I think-” Eddie stopped, shaking his head.

No, don’t be wishy-washy about it Munson. 

“I mean I know, I want to try. I was so wrong about you before. If anyone is an asshole, it’s me. I’ve really liked getting to know the real you, and I'd like to keep doing that and maybe show you more of me too. That’s why I came back, to see if you’d give me a chance even though I know I don’t deserve it, and I have no idea what I’m doing, and I’m sure I’ll fuck it up somehow but I-”

Steve cut him off with a kiss, murmuring a single word against his lips. “Yes.”

Eddie pulled back just enough to see his face more clearly. “Yes?”

“Yes, I'm saying yes to giving you a chance.”

“Well thank fuck for that.” Eddie said, smiling wide and unrestrained before pressing back in close and slotting their lips together.

“Are you sure you have to work tonight?” Steve asked, watching from the bed as Eddie stood in front of the dresser, tying his hair up and slipping his rings on. 

It was one of the things that hadn’t come up yet, the fact that they were still on opposing schedules and how that would play into things now that they were together. Eddie certainly wasn’t going to bring it up, he was taking Steve’s lead on everything like that since he had more experience with this stuff. 

Boyfriends.

It seemed like such a childish word to describe this intense thing blooming between them, but maybe that was just because he’d never had one before. 

He glanced back at Steve through the mirror and admired his own handiwork, spotting the bruises that had taken form on either side of the other man’s throat. They were admittedly a little old to walk around sporting hickeys but something about lounging around making out all afternoon had made them both feel a bit like teenagers again, and judging by the sounds Steve had been making as Eddie attacked the delicate skin of his neck, he didn’t mind.

“Why, you gonna miss me or something?” Eddie teased, sauntering back over to the bed.

“Yes.” Steve said, and it sounded like the truth. He said it like it cost him nothing to admit, and Eddie wondered if he could ever be brave like that. 

“As much as I might want to, I can’t call out again. I already bailed on a shift yesterday. Now that I'm staying I don't really want to lose this job.”

They had talked a little more in-between bouts of trying to devour each other and Eddie found himself slowly opening up about his past and what he suspected were the real reasons why he had moved around so much since leaving their hometown behind. Namely that anytime a place got too familiar or someone got too close, Eddie would cut and run.

“Were you really going to leave?” Steve asked.

Eddie shook his head at himself. He’d come damn close. “Oh yeah. I was losing my mind, ready to drive 8 hours straight to get to my Uncle’s and lay low for a while.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.” Eddie agreed, leaning down to press a kiss to Steve's mouth. He was becoming obsessed with the taste of him and only managed to pull away with great effort. “Any plans tonight?”

“Oh right, I didn't get to tell you! You know how Robin and Chrissy are not-so-secretly in love with each other?”

“Yes, obviously.”

“I think I finally convinced Robin to ask her out on a real date. I’m supposed to watch the front desk for a few hours while they go out to dinner tonight.”

“Holy shit!” 

Eddie couldn’t believe it was finally happening, it was about time. He was thrilled though it made him feel even worse about the way he’d been avoiding his best friend. He’d find a way to make it up to her and he knew she’d understand. If they were both about to embark on new relationships they would need each other now more than ever. 

“Oh, I get it now.” Eddie said. “You wanted me to stick around because you’ll get bored down there by yourself.”

“Maybe, but I still meant what I said about missing you.”

“It's nice of you to cover for them.”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“You really are a sweetheart, you know that?”

“Shut up.” Steve said, blushing furiously. It was adorable that after everything they’d done in the past 24 hours a few simple words could affect him so much.

“Actually I need to get down there soon so she can show me what I have to do. Do you think…” Steve trailed off absently picking at a loose thread on the comforter. “Nevermind.”

“No, what were you going to say?”

“Can I tell them about us, Robin and Chrissy?”

Eddie fought not to squirm, It felt like the first big test. Part of him wanted to keep things just between the two of them, at least for a while, but maybe that was selfish. He didn’t want Steve to think he was ashamed of him either, and it would be unfair to ask him to keep things from his best friend. Besides, given Eddie’s recent discoveries, he was pretty sure he knew why Robin had been pissed at him for the past few weeks, maybe now she’d stop giving him the evil eye. 

“Of course you can tell them.”

*ROBIN*

Already dressed for her night out with Chrissy, Robin was attempting to stay busy, puttering around the motel lobby straightening things up and worrying about how she was going to tell Steve that she hadn’t exactly gone through with their plan. The two women were still going out to dinner and all but Robin might have, purposely, neglected to call it a date. 

She was also still fuming over how sad and dejected Steve had looked the night before. The whole thing was ridiculous and entirely Eddie's fault, she was sure. If that little son of a bitch hadn’t run away because he was jealous that Steve had a date with someone else, she’d eat her hat. 

And the fucking nerve he had to react in such a way after Steve had been so clearly pining after him, after he’d endured several of Eddie’s own hookups without complaint. To pull this shit now, just when Steve was trying to get over him.

What she didn’t know was why Steve had been even more upset last night. While she respected that he didn’t want to talk about it, that didn’t mean she wasn’t dying to know. He’d found the other boy but clearly the talk hadn’t gone well, though she had noticed that a certain van was back in its parking spot when she got up this morning. She wasn’t sure what kind of game Eddie was playing here but she didn’t think she could let it go this time.

God this had all been such a colossally bad idea, lying to both of them, forcing them to room together. She felt terrible for her part in it. If she’s just told Steve the truth, or better yet never gone through with the stupid scheme from the beginning, it would have saved him so much hurt feelings. 

The bell above the door dinged, interrupting Robin from her thoughts and she looked up to see Steve entering the lobby. He smiled when he saw her and it went all the way up to his eyes. He radiated happiness and walked with a spring in his step that she hadn’t seen for some time. He was practically fucking glowing. Robin gaped at him. What could have possibly happened to change things so much in the few hours since she saw him last? 

Then she spotted it, a hickey that was just barely peeking out from under the collar of his baby blue polo shirt.

Robin crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. “Tell me that’s not what I think it is.”

He didn’t even ask what she meant, just tugged his shirt up a little higher to cover the offending bruise, smile never wavering. “It’s exactly what you think it is.”

“Gross.”

“Just cause you don’t like men.”

Robin rolled her eyes. 

She already knew the answer but she had to ask anyway. “Eddie?”

“Yeah, Eddie.” He said, with the nerve to sound all wistful like a fisherman’s wife waiting for her husband to return from sea. 

She didn't really want to rain on his parade when he’d come in there looking so chipper but as his best friend it was part of her job. “Are you sure this is a good idea?

He took a minute to answer, leaning against the front counter as his expression turned serious. “I can’t be sure about anything Robs, but I know I have to give this a shot. I mean, c’mon you said it yourself, how long have I been into the guy?”

“Oh so we’re just freely admitting that now?”

“Fuck off.”

“Don't get me wrong, I like Eddie, most of the time, and if you’re happy then I'm happy for you.” She began, choosing her words carefully. “He’s fun to be around and the way he’s always been there for Chrissy, I know it’s meant a lot to her. I hate the way he’s treated you, but I do know that deep down he’s a good guy. I’m just worried. Clearly he’s got some issues and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I don’t want to see me get hurt either, but I'm willing to take that risk. I think he might be worth it.”

Oh, god. She knew that look. 

“Shit, you are in so deep already aren't you? It has to be some kind of record.”

If the way he would no longer meet her eye was any indication, she’d hit the nail right on the head. 

He cleared his throat loudly and drummed out a little beat on the counter with his knuckles. “Alright enough about me, don’t you have a date to get to?”

Robin grimaced. “Right. About that… “

“You didn’t ask her.”

“No, I did. Sort of. We’re still going out tonight, but only as friends.”

“Wait, did she say she didn’t want it to be a date or did you chicken out at the last minute and not call it a date.”

“I think you already know the answer to that question.”

“Robin, you have to tell her!.”

Her reply died on her tongue as the door chimed again and Chrissy came walking through it looking absolutely gorgeous in a bright yellow sundress, white strappy sandals, and her hair tied up in a high bouncy ponytail. 

And boy was Robin was a sucker for a bouncy ponytail.

Chrissy always looked great, whether she was dressed up with a full face of makeup, or was sweaty and fresh from the gym, but sometimes, like right now, her beauty just smacked Robin in the face. 

She stood there gawking for a moment before Steve elbowed her in the side, then quickly snapped her mouth closed and tried to remember how to be a normal person. Everything was fine, she was cool, and not at all freaking out.

“Hey guys!” Chrissy said when she reached them. “Are you ready to go or do we still need to give Steve the lay of the land?”

“I… was just getting to that!” Robin said, nervous now for a very different reason. “Do you want to take him to your office and show him the books and the phone?” 

Chrissy nodded, pulling Steve along behind her and rounding the counter, giving Robin a wink over her shoulder when he wasn’t looking.

This was the part Robin had been most worried about. Even if things were somehow now miraculously working out between Steve and Eddie, she still didn’t want him to find out she’d set him up. It was Chrissy’s idea to fill the books with fake names to help cover for the fact that the motel was only half full tonight. They could get away with having a few rooms open, as most guests wouldn’t have been staying the whole summer like the boys were anyway, but too many vacancies and the whole ruse fell apart.

It would be fine, she told herself. He wouldn’t even need to be there that long, just a few hours. It being such a small place they only kept the office open till 9 or 10 at night, leaving a sign on the door with the girl’s phone number in case of emergencies. Steve knew that, and she’d given him a spare key to lock up. The first thing they would do if business ever picked up was hire more help so they wouldn’t have to be shackled to the place 24/7.

When Chrissy was all done explaining things, the two girls headed out with Steve walking them to the door like an overprotective father. Robin glared, daring him to say something embarrassing. He didn’t, thankfully, but he did catch her eye through the door as she followed Chrissy down the street and mouthed the words “Be brave.” It was sweet. She smiled and flipped him off. 

Chrissy linked their arms together as they walked causing Robin to break out in goosebumps where their skin touched. “So, where are we headed, Tide’s?”

“That was the plan, not sure if it’s a good idea anymore, considering.” Robin muttered.

Chrissy squealed, eyes lighting up. “I know, isn’t it great! Steve told me when I was showing him how to use the phone. I can’t believe we pulled it off.”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Robin agreed halfheartedly. What else could she say?

“He said Eddie was working tonight too, can we still go there, please? I’m dying to see his face.”

Robin was powerless to deny Chrissy anything so of course she was going to agree, it also occurred to her that this way she could get her shovel talk out of the way nice and early. 

“Sure.”

As soon as they walked in the door Robin looked right at Eddie across the bar. He grinned when he spotted Chrissy, giving her a little wave, but looked down sheepishly when he saw Robin, busying himself with wiping down the already spotless surface in front of him. Without thinking she began to move in his direction ready to give him a piece of her mind but was stopped by a gentle grip at her elbow. 

“Robin, I know you probably want to threaten him with bodily harm if he hurts Steve in any way, and I don't blame you for that, but do you think you could at least hold off for a while so we can enjoy our night out together?”

Well, when she put it like that.

“Yea, of course, sorry.”

It was going great. 

They were two drinks in and Robin had finally started to relax. She wasn’t thinking about Steve or the motel or anything besides the girl sitting across from her. They hadn’t had fun like this in months. She really had to hand it to Steve, he was absolutely right. As much time as they spent together at work and at home, it was different like this, to be out together with the sole purpose of having fun and people watching at the bar like they used to do all the time back in college. 

With a healthy buzz going they ordered some food and Robin excused herself to the bathroom. She paused on her way back hiding behind a half-wall when she spotted Eddie who had taken up a seat next to Chrissy at their table.

They were sitting close, heads bent together conspiratorially, talking as she held his hand. For a minute Eddie didn’t look like his usual cocky overconfident self, he looked… terrified. Enough that Robin almost felt bad about all the ways in which she’d imagined maiming him. 

It didn’t last long. Right before her eyes Robin saw Chrissy soothe him with words and hugs and a kiss on the cheek. Then they were laughing and giddy and Eddie was clearly gushing about something, Steve she hoped. When she felt like she’d given them enough time together she resumed her walk back to the table. Eddie spotted her first and quickly rose from his chair, eyes widening a smidge like she made him nervous. 

Good, he should be. 

But she smiled and nodded and he did the same before retreating back behind the bar where it was safe. 

“What was that all about?” Robin asked, wondering if Chrissy had gotten more details out of Eddie than Steve had been willing to share so far. 

Chrissy stared down at her drink, an unreadable expression crossing her face and she stirred the ice around. “Oh, y’know, boys.” She said eventually, huffing a laugh before proceeding to upend her cup and down the entire drink in one go. 

Robin blinked at her, mouth open in shock and noticed the sudden weird energy between them. 

Chrissy finally looked at her again, studying her face as she pursed her lips. 

“Robin, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Okay?”

“Was this supposed to be a date?”

Robin felt all the blood drain from her face. “What makes you ask that?” She said stiffly.

Chrissy shrugged. “No reason.”

Bullshit. Eddie must have said something to her, Steve probably told him about their plan. Oh well, no point in hiding from it now. Might as well face this head-on.

“And if it was?” Robin asked, managing to sound a lot more confident than she was feeling.

Chrissy slid out of her chair and for a second Robin thought it was all over, that she’d ruined everything, but then Chrissy took up the one next to her, grasping her hand under the table where no one else could see. “Then I would tell you that I've had a crush on you since we moved into our first dorm together and ask why the hell you haven't kissed me yet.”

The burst of joy that came over Robin was like nothing she’d ever felt before. Her mouth spread into a smile so wide it made her face hurt. “Well, there's still time. It’s not the end of the date yet is it?” 

Their server came by as they were still gazing into each other's eyes, noting the empty glass and asking if they wanted another round. Instead of ordering more drinks they asked if their dinner could be made to go, and for the check, both eager to return home and continue their date night somewhere a little more private. 

Ten minutes later with takeout bags in hand they were headed out the door and Robin couldn’t help catching Eddie’s eye again as he tossed her a wink from across the room. She rolled her eyes at him fondly despite how pissed she’d been at him lately. She might even thank him for this someday. One thing she knew for sure, that was the last time she was thinking about either of those boys for the rest of the night. She had something much more fun in mind to focus on instead. 

Chapter 8

Thanks forever to @penny00dreadful for being the best friend, cheerleader, and beta in the whole fucking world 💜

Taglist: @manda-panda-monium @hellion-child @dreamwatch @brbsoulnomming @epiclazershark @estrellami-1 @lokfae @raisedbylibrarians @impala314 @meganwinchester @kacatshi @warlordess @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @garden-of-gay @meela86 @gregre369 @finntheehumaneater

[itsrorysstuff]

I got my first ask!! Somebody asked for tattoo artist!julien x reader, so that’s what I did. I hope you like it 😘 the diehard Swiftie in me rly shows here.

Happy birthday

Today was my twenty-second birthday, i figured it was time to get my first tattoo. I had made my way into a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles, seeing a light haired girl at the counter.

“Hey, how can I help you?” She asked as I approached the front counter

“I was hoping to get a tattoo!” I answered

“Well you came to the right place” she laughed then kept going “what were you looking to have done?” I took out my phone and showed her a picture of the tattoo I wanted, a tattoo that that “If you never bleed you’re never gonna grow” In (swooping sloping) cursive letters, it was a line from my favorite Taylor Swift song.

“That’s a cool tattoo. I’m a huge Swiftie too! It shouldn’t take too long, we could definitely get you in today. Let me go ask Julien if she’s free right now” she said as she walked away. Soon, a brown eyed girl came out, covered in tattoos, and smiled at me.

“You’re the one who wants the Taylor Swift tattoo?” She questioned and I nodded

“I’m Julien, I’ll be doing your tattoo for you. And you are?” She puts her hands out for me to shake “Hi, I’m y/n.” I gladly shake her hand, gosh this woman’s attractive. I’m mesmerized.

“Nice to meet you, y/n. Can I just see your drivers license before we get started?” I nodded and got my license out of my purse and handed to her. She scanned it before saying “happy birthday!”

“Oh thank you so much” I smiled and laughed a little, she smiled back and it made me a blushing mess. “Ready to get started?” She asked “yeah” I answered and she started to lead me to the back, opening the door to her studio. “Wow it’s really nice in here” I said. The walls had beautiful art on it, and there were plants decorating the room. She smiled again “thank you. Come sit.” She pat the chair in front of her rolling one, I walked over and sat down. “So where are you wanting this tattoo?”she asked “I was thinking right under my breast” she looked back at my eyes. “Okay great, let’s get started. Did you wanna lift up your shirt or yknow take it off?”

“I could take it off” I smiled “okay” I took my shirt and bra off “are you nervous?” Julien asked “yeah very nervous actually” I giggled nervously “don’t be, I’ll talk to you and it’ll distract you. Or at least it does others. Lie back for me.” She said and I did as I was told, and then she gets to work, she put her needle on me and I cringed and whined a little “shh..shh..it’s okay. Tell me about you, y/n. Who do you listen to besides Taylor Swift?”

I tried to center myself and respond “I uh..uhm I-I like Conan gray and Olivia Rodrigo and uhm Sabrina Carpenter. I also really like older rock stuff like uh…Uhmmmm Nirvana and Pearl Jam and nine inch nails.” I responded hoping I didn’t stutter too much “that’s cool, I like them too. You know hardy?” She asked and she worked “yeah, yeah I went to his concert a couple weeks ago.” I responded “oh so did I! Small world. What do you do for a living?” She asked “uhm well right now I’m working for a local newspaper while I finish up my senior year of college but uh I’m working on becoming a musician.” I responded “that’s really nice, I’m in my senior year too. I also make music, I preform at that coffee shop around the corner, Amelias, on Saturday mornings, you should come see me.” She said…oh my god was she asking me out? “Yeah..yeah maybe I will.” I respond “you should…okay it looks like we’re done here.” She says, then puts the plastic over my tattoo and hands me my clothes. I put my clothes back on “it was really nice meeting you.” I said “yeah, the feelings mutual” she said and I left, going to the front desk to pay and then exiting. As I’m going out to my car I hear someone yelling after me “y/n!! Y/n wait!!” It was julien running after me, I stopped and turned around as she approached me “Julien?” I asked “you forgot your phone, must’ve fallen out of your bag.” She said, handing it back to me “thank you so much!” I said “No problem” she responded and walked back in. My phone case had a sticky note on it that read

“Please come see me on Saturday, and please text me

771-777-875

-Julien <3 “

Oh my god. She really was asking me out. I got into my car and texted the number immediately

“I definitely will be seeing you Saturday.”

“It’s y/n, by the way”

she responded

“Yeah I got that , lol. Happy birthday, pretty girl.”

I hope y’all liked it ❤️‍🩹

Edit: let me know if you want a part 2…I also have something written for tattoo artist!julien in an established relationship if you want that too ✏️

ANOTHER IMPORTANT EDIT: if you want crew!reader x Julien go check out mama g! @gingerjolover

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: Henry's Seclusion and Perception-Part 2

A little follow-up of this post after I realized something while watching Henry flinch after Alex tried to hold his hand during their Paris date.

This is more up to interpretation but in the same way Henry was isolated in a space without any sort of moral support during the week after the email leaks while Alex wasn’t, I think the same could be possibly said with their view on public displays of affection.

I’m gonna preface by saying that even in the RWRB Movie verse, both UK and USA are evidently mostly LGBT+ friendly. Alex’s US kind of goes without saying, while for Henry, given the sheer amount of people that ended up coming to support him all across the country, I think the same could be said for his UK.

So given that their big environment is LGBT friendly, the difference here is their own circles.

Before President Claremont was elected, Alex was just like any of us, as he put it himself, “an anonymous working class kid”. His socializing circle wasn’t really limited. On top of that both of his parents are democrats. Even before he figured out his own bisexuality, he was definitely exposed to LGBT communities and individuals, colourful queer people who showed off their gender, sexuality and relationship/partner proudly. Besides, from his interaction with Nora, his mom, even Henry during the NYE party, Alex is clearly a physically affectionate person to begin with. He is used to displays of affection, and has see queer public displays of affection.

So when he starts to fall for Henry (which I firmly believed started properly since the state dinner), he doesn’t really register displays of affection as something to be hidden despite now being in a homosexual relationship. This aspect is not that different in his mind. The only times we see Alex really make an effort to conceal it is when they want to… do dirty things, like the polo match (Matthew/Prime release the full scene please) and the DNC hotel visit, which in any case is something that one would make effort to hide even for a bit.

Look at the movie again. Alex reaches out to hold Henry’s hand in Paris, Henry flinches. Alex steps forward to kiss Henry at the airstrip after the night in the V&A, Henry stops him, even if it’s private airstrip with only Henry’s staff. The one sentence Alex said that sent Henry spiralling and trying to break things off was “We could walk through Austin holding hands, and it won’t even matter if anyone sees us.” (which is one of my favourite lines in the book by the way, granted used in a different situation) Alex finds public displays of affection towards Henry very natural.

Henry doesn’t.

However much he loves touching and kissing Alex in private behind closed door throughout the entirety of their relationship, he was never comfortable, or confident for them in public settings, even if there’s actually no one except their own professional secret service/ personal staff there.

And I think one of the contributing reasons is unlike Alex, he never really got to see queer people be openly proud of their identity and partners.

Henry, as the prince, has his social circle and travels limited. You’re not gonna see him on the subway or walking through Trafalgar Square. He’s not gonna be able to walk the streets and just see queer citizens out and about the way Alex did. Given the context clues in the movie, I’m guessing he’s limited to causes the crown wants to serve (veterans, climate, diplomacy, which all have their own values as social issues but doesn’t suit Henry) and unlike the royals in our world (yes I pay some attention to the irl royal family) he couldn’t even choose topics that interest him, that he wants to serve, like arts, LGBT, and mental health (there’s a sequel idea!!! Henry getting to choose how to use his title for causes he’s part of and care about), plus it’s clear his family, the king at least, had no interest in getting involved with LGBT issues, so he didn’t have any chance to approach the community while on duty either. Considering his grandfather warned him against pursuing relationships when he was 18, he probably was forced into some sense of shame or fear regarding any possibility of having a public relationship, which was also part of his argument during the Kensington confrontation. Seeing as Nick and Matthew decided Paris was Henry’s first time with someone he actually had feelings for, I’m guessing past hookups in said “English Boarding School” were done out of sexual frustration and some degree of rebellion, but even then it was more on the sexual side instead of anything truly affectionate, and that was still extremely secretive with stacks of NDAs.

So on Henry’s part, he was secluded in a almost forcefully heteronormative environment, never really got to see people like him in real life, in front of his eyes (reading queer history and news about LGBT rights is very different from seeing it yourself), and was told that this was something to be ashamed about, something he can’t do, something impossible. That’s why he never felt confident enough to ask for touch or touch Alex in anywhere remotely public. (He was drunk at the karaoke, and I think most of the Texas vacation was on the Claremont-Diaz’s private property, so those don’t count)

Until the palace pride protest, where thousand of people like him came to storm the palace with their rainbow flags and banners, their support, and their own identities display.

Faces with this massive display of queer pride right in front of him, Henry, maybe for the first time, sees so many people like them, and he sees that it’s okay for him to be gay, that there is nothing selfish, shameful, repulsive or unacceptable about who he is and who he loves. They’re here for him. They’re just like him. They’re proud of it. They show it.

So this time, in front of his family, a window away from the outside world, it’s his turn to ask for Alex’s hand, held between his. He’s finally confident enough in everything so tell Alex, through a wet smile, “I love you.”

Both of them look out, at the sea of colourful love and pride. Alex, who has seen this many times before in his life, but probably the first time he sees this knowing he’s part of that sea. Henry, who gets to see the crowd be proud of something he’s tried so long to conceal and hide.

Henry can be proud of his sexuality too.

And he shows it, on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, with thousands of people cheering for him and his boyfriend. 

[dewdroppdraws]

Hi I’m new to tumblr so I’m not sure how you normally post on here but I wanted to try posting some sketches of earth from tsams! I’m not the best with anatomy so I won’t lie I did trace over some photos (REAL PHOTOS NOT ART) I found on Pinterest and modified the proportions to fit my design, but I’m trying to improve lol. For now I just rlly wanted to flesh out my design for earth which I couldn’t do while my anatomy looked like crap 😭 all the full body ones I used references for but the one in the right corner was all me so I’ve got that to my name at least 💪 I’ll include my “reference” pictures as well :> and below the pics is an explanation of the design because I love to gush about this kind of thing. Fair warning, it’s pretty long LMAO

Hehe now it’s time for me to gush about my lil design 😈

So the first major difference you probably noticed (aside from body shape) is the very fluffy clothing I have her in. The leg warmers and… fingerless gloves? Leg warmers that she put on her arms? Idk what the arm ones are called but yk what I’m talking about lol. When I first noticed earths little rainbow headband my brain immediately said “80’s workout videos”. The big hair, the rainbow headband, it just immediately jumped ot at me and stuck. I decided to give her oversized leg warmers in that same rainbow pattern because it made me sad that her actual design doesn’t have the rainbow anywhere else. It’s funky and I like it what can I say.

Next I decided I really wanted her to wear thigh-highs. I personally love thigh-highs and also it gave me an excuse not to think about her leg mechanics. I tend to draw Sun and Moon like ball joint dolls, but it gets a lil funky to draw when they are bending their limbs so having a fluffy excuse to hide them was ideal lol. I decided to go with the bold choice of putting thigh highs and leg warmers on her, which I don’t regret even tho it probably seems like a lot. I might change a few things about her later down the line since these were just basic sketches so don’t worry if you hate it.

I gave her shorts because a skirt just didn’t feel right for her. I feel like a daycare attendant would be very active, even if earth tends to sit with the quieter kids, and a skirt would be very awkward to climb around in. I figured shorts would be good. I drew them like jean shorts since that was the original intention but they could be cloth rather than denim gimme time to think about it 💀

I had a lot of trouble decided whether the thingies on her shoulders were stand-alone or like pieces of hair she keeps up front (probably attached cuz she’s a robot) I decided on making them attached to the bigger floor of hair cuz I thought it looked cutest on the pic with her shoulders up and in front of her face lol.

Onto her chest plate thing, I was considering making it an actual shirt but decided against it. I wanted her to have a crop top bc I love crop tops so I just made it so her chest area was painted like a shirt, and then her middle area was back to her “skin” color, so it’s almost like a crop top but not really…?

Last but not least is her face, I also made that her “skin” color and just put the blue and green as her cheeks! I thought it looked cutest that way. She also has heterochromia cuz when a character has two main colors I really enjoy putting them on opposite sides as often as possible haha. So her green cheek has her blue eye and her blue cheek has her green eye. I know her original model has two blue eyes but this was what I went with.

Anyways that was super long and I’m super nervous about posting this so I’m just gonna hit post and if I find a typo or decide my lil explanation was 4 paragraphs too many I’ll fix it later. Have a nice day whoever is still reading this! :>

[spacenintendogs]

Hi! I love your art and I’m so curious to know what your art process is like!

i've been trying to figure out how to answer this & i've honestly realized that my process is a mess LOLOL i did record myself!!! drawing fishlegs bc he is the fave & easiest for me to draw! i hope everything i explain under the read more makes sense!!

it took me over 44 minutes to draw & the screen recording in the art program i use (autodesk sketchbook) brought it down to about 7 minutes and 25 seconds. i didn't wanna speed it up even more bc it'd be way too fast & jarring i think but!! i've uploaded the video to youtube (with some animal crossing music <3)!! i will still try to explain what i did here tho!!

my initial sketches are EXTREMELY loose! i start with the head by drawing a circle & extending past it for the chin of the character & proceed to do the nose, eyes, & mouth!! hair is next, but if there's a helmet i need to draw, i'll do that before the hair!! then i'll do the body starting from the shoulders & going down!! for the hands i just do circles/a general shape! no details!!

the sketch layer is a layer of black for the brush color with with lower opacity

i immediately do lines on top with the same brush but with black at full opacity on the kayer above!! this time i actually take my time to be more careful with details BUT i am still very sketchy & if smth isn't 100% accurate after i try a few times, i leave it be! hands however...

i almost always end up taking a photo of my hands using the front facing camera set to a 5 second timer on my phone! i also draw using my phone so it's literally having everything i need all in one place lol!! i do trace my own hands but obv i adjust based on what i'm drawing!! fish's hands are def gonna be wider than mine!!

NOW for color i color pick directly from screenshots!! however i use it mostly for flats & then pick my own for shading!! let's focus on the flats for now!! i start with the skin always!! the skin is going to have color layers above and below it, so it's easier for me to see where everything else will go if i've got the skin all settled. here you can see my color layers!! these are ALL flats!!

shading & lighting i don't rlly... focus on being accurate 100% but i try to do it based on where a shadow would absolutely be/to give the appearance of some type of depth (my art is very flat either way tho!) like where his lower hand is cupping i'll shade but leave the top of the upper hand unshaded for the most part! i lay out everything in a multiply layer first (can be any color u want based on the vibe u want!!) & then use a smudge tool to blend it out!! same goes for the lighting layer!!!

my art overall is a lot of scribbling big lines & curves then using the lineart to do the same but slowly make adjustments until it looks acceptable to me. it's SO much erasing & reshaping & i always have sketch lines everywhere but i like how it looks. it looks like i drew it, u know? plus the httyd books art style is a HUGE inspiration to me, at my core. i didn't even realize it was until ppl on here pointed it out :') i also enjoy drawing fast & moving on!! which is just smth i've trained myself to do since my star fox days (the reason i draw in the first place!!)

thank u!!!! i hope this made sense!!

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

tips/resources that taught me how to Art as an Adult - a masterlist

Four years ago I decided that “I’m too old to learn how to draw” is a pointless lie I’d believed for too long and you’re never too old to learn something new. I still definitely consider myself a novice and a learner but I’m at a very happy place with my art and I’m having a ton of fun so I thought I’d pass along the tips/resources that helped me get started and kept me motivated. 

I’ll get into resources under the cut, but here are personal tips I lined up for myself that helped during the early stages of frustration and wanting to give up. obviously they won’t work for everyone, but they really kept me going

fill 14 sketchbooks. if you still want to give up after that you can (I’m currently at 13 sketchbooks and could not imagine ever letting it go)

what specifically do you want to be able to draw? For me my goal has always been characters and cats. I’ve added things to it here and there, but starting out overwhelmed with how much you don’t know isn’t great. find a handful of things you really want to draw and see where it takes you.

get yourself a sketchbook fancy enough that you feel cool as heck but cheap enough that you don’t mind absolutely destroying it. Personally, I love EXCEED bullet journals. the dotted paper keeps me from being too picky but are less intrusive than lined paper. From my experience, EXCEED bullet journals takes acrylic and ink like a champ, and they’ve got nice covers that just make you “feel” cool. confidence is important!

acrylic paint and post-it notes are great ways to cover mistakes. I personally love anything that makes my sketchbooks feel “sketchbooky” so this is super fun. 

it is okay to “waste”/”ruin” pages. one time I was in “I’m a failure” artblock and so I poured black coffee onto my sketchbook. (it was gonna get dumped out anyway and I was Very frustrated with my art.) then when the pages dried I just kept right along using it. taught me a lot about not being perfect. sketchbooks are about learning and love, not about perfection.

try drawing in pen. seriously, draw in pen. it’s scary as frick to not be able to go back on mistakes but that’s what the post-it acrylic-paint tip is for, and it’ll help with all sorts of stuff like lineweight and line confidence. it takes some of the stress off too because, you screw up? oh well! Try again! it encourages “try again” over “meticulously nitpick until it’s perfect” and has done wonders for me. I started out my first two sketchbooks in pencil before making the switch and I’ve never gone back. 

(also sketching in highlighter and lining with pen is super fun and cool and satisfying!)

the first page doesn’t matter. I usually just use the first page of the sketchbook to write my favorite songs at the time and then do the same thing on the last page. first page jitters begone. 

(starting in the middle of the sketchbook also gets rid of those jitters pretty nicely. I tried this a couple times and personally still prefer the linear front-to-back but it was fun for a while.)

picking a color theme for your sketchbook can make it feel more “sketchbooky” too. I usually go with blue or orange- blue acrylic paint, blue post-it notes, those cheap blue BIC pens, etc. I like this bc it makes the sketchbook feel like a sketchbook and is very satisfying.

And figure out why you’re doing it. I did it because I always wanted to make cool art and draw my characters, but if you’re doing it for a career then obviously the path to that looks much different. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be inspired by people who are better than you. Acknowledge where you need to grow and where you’re strongest. Lean into those strengths. Adapt to those weaknesses. Be proud of being a beginner- you won’t be one for long. 

Now: some of my favorite creatives and resources!

///

CREATORS:

"Kasey Golden" Mostly traditional art, mostly watercolor, cartoonist, art challenges

"DrawingWiffWaffles" Mostly traditional art, alcohol markers & pens, semi-realism

"LavenderTowne" Digital art, art tips/tutorials, cartoonist

"ABD Illustrates" Digital art, speedpaints, semi-realism

"Proko" (or "Stan Prokopenko") Realism, anatomy tutorials, free complete "Anatomy For Artists" series- basically as hogwild as you can get learning hyper-realistic anatomy

"Ethan Becker" Digital art, ex-DreamWorks employee, tips/tutorials, "Perfect Practice"

"Sinix Design" Digital art, anatomy tips/tutorials, general tips/tutorials, realist

"Oliver's Antics" Digital and traditional art, tips/tutorials, speedpaints, semi-realistic style

“Nerdforge” Traditional art, painting, metalwork, woodwork, bookbinding, building, seriously these people do everything they’re incredible

///

FOR GESTURE DRAWING:

Line of Action Gesture drawing, figure drawing, optional timed practice sessions

AdorkaStock fantastic line of unique reference poses

 ///

Aaand that’s about all I’ve got! there are so many resources out there and so many amazing artists to be inspired by. just have fun with art! art is freedom. be proud to be a beginner and be excited for how you’ll grow. I hope these tips are helpful for someone out there! <3 

Here’s my first digital artwork (April 2019) up against my latest (August 2022)

April 2019:

August 2022:

best of luck to you all. I believe in each and every one of you. <3 happy drawing!

[dieanywhereelseart]

I’ve been drawing with dip pens lately so I did a nib study using my ghost trick redesigns.

for anyone that’s interested here’s some notes on the nibs under the cut.

Leonardt 33 - Easily the one of the most flexible pen nibs I have. Technically this is designed for calligraphy, specifically spencerian, so the sideways movement isn’t great and there’s little control when doing hatching. Really dramatic swoops with high pressure that aren’t entirely appropriate for character portraits but I kinda dig what it did to Sissel’s hair. Will probably use it for special effects like fire and smoke and stuff.

Leondardt 33 - This one is actually intended for drawing so naturally it has a fairly consistent line weight with a low flex. The hatching marks are kinda scratchy but not in a bad way. Would probably work really well for continuous contour and styles of lineart that are more sketchy, loose, and dynamic than my normal character art style. Would prob use for larger pieces or figures closer to the camera cause the line weight is generally a bit too thick for the usual size I work with.

Tachikawa G - This is a nib made for drawing manga specifically and it’s really easy to use for drawing. Some of the calligraphy nibs really take some thought and careful motor control to look good but this one was forgiving. I see myself using this a lot for really casual art. It was kinda hard to do hatching or filling with this one tho, which was kinda surprising. Very gentle line variance, makes really clear shapes. You can see in the other characters than too high flexibility can make it hard for the brain to turn lines into form so this really mellows it out. Prob best to use this nib to block out the lineart then hatch/fill/detail with others.

Hunt 102 - this is a speedball job made for mapping and oh my god do I love this nib. It’s just so 👌👌👌 on the details??? the line variance perfectly matches the brushes I use on photoshop and it’s just. mwah. it holds onto literally so much ink despite being so tiny. interestingly hatching is unstable but two or three lines together seem to be just fine. Kinda sad that jowd’s hair is a little hard to focus on cause of the variance but with a little practice I can prob find ways around that cause I already know I’m gonna love using this nib for heads and faces. Filling is a bit patchy but otherwise I think this is gonna be my go-to detail nib. (also no jowd isn’t in overalls that’s supposed to be an art apron but with only like the top portion showing it’s hard to tell.)

Hunt 108 - ok this is Supposed to be a drawing nib as well as a calligraphy nib and it does mimic brush strokes but I’m pretty heavy handed so it’s hard Not to make those super thick lines. Not bad with details and has enough control to make thickening up the outline super easy, but really easy to mess up. This nib did Cabanela dirty by flexing a bit too much when I was doing his mouth so I had to correct it with a white pen. Spreads the ink too thin in areas for solid filling. I can see this working really well with mixed media, like with watercolor, and once I get some more colored ink I’ll use it for coloring.

Hunt 100 - idiot stupid rat bastard of a pen nib. ok the art looks fine right? can’t be that bad, right? it took me so long to make that because the ink just. wouldn’t come out. so this nib is another mapping nib and it’s super delicate so it breaks really easily. I broke my first one bc I’m heavy handed, so I ordered another like ‘ok I’ll be more careful with this one’. it broke again. I don’t even know how. Ideally I’d use it for small spaces or reeeally fine details but I can’t even get it to work long enough to try. speedball can meet me in the pits.

Hunt 512 - A calligraphy nib that’s actually really easygoing to draw with. There’s not much line variance, so the hairlines have a lot of control. Makes for really good hatching. Also does really great long, thin lines. Sideways movement is kinda meh but it does the job. Definitely the cleanest looking of all them, tho the lack of variance makes it a bit boring to look at. Gonna use this one for shading and textures or for drawing on really rough paper.

Hunt 99 - like the first nib this one is really dramatic, and it’s supposed to be a calligraphy nib, but it has a lot more weight control than the hunt 108. Also the fine lines are easier to control. A lot of ink comes out so it might not be great on paper with risk of bleeding, and it takes a while to dry compared to others, but it would be good for filling since it can cover a large opaque space while having good control over the shape and points. Could also use for different warping/texture techniques.

Other notes:

I used smooth illustration Bristol for the paper, since ink looks more vibrant and swooshy on it and also some of these nibs can Only be used on smooth paper.

Also used terracotta India ink, which is kinda on the thick end but still looks good. matches with the colored lineart in Ghost Trick lol

got all of my pen nibs from Paper & Ink Arts cause u can order a nib for like less than a dollar fifty each. You can also get paper, nib holders, and ink for a good price too.

if u wanna start with dip pens PLEASE prepare your nibs before drawing. stick them in a potato for like 10 minutes. please trust me on this you will have a bad time otherwise.

ok thanks for reading through my Very Indulgent experiment.

[hanasnx]

somebody made a janitor ai bot from something I wrote and I’m not quite sure how to feel about it…

I think I remember once that someone did the same to you? so I wanted to ask for some advice or insight.

to preface, i don’t know much about janitor ai. And I don’t own the character in question, but I did come up with the situation that they made into a bot. i don’t have it stated on my profile anywhere not to transfer my work to other sites so maybe I can’t be upset? but it feels weird that they didn’t ask first. idk.

im super non-confrontational… I just don’t know how to feel or what to do.

any thoughts? (and thanks in advance if you do answer.)

look man i am confrontational. on this app you need to be clear about what you want.

i was really offended when it happened to me, and the person that made it had brought it to my attention which opened a direct line of communication for me to tell them to take it down immediately.

AI is an insult to creators when it takes something you and i have created and streamlines mass production of art. it's genuinely disgusting to me and i don't support it in creative spaces as replacements for artists.

i don't know much about character ai or janitor ai and i don't wanna know about it. i didn't own the character anakin, but the adultfilm!anakin is an au i created, i had never seen it on tumblr before i wrote for it and it's exceptionally special to me. i require permission to be asked of me to use any of my stuff, and i saw the AI thing as a violation.

you're just gonna have to tell that person what you think of it, and don't give them a way out either. don't back down just because you're scared. it's important to stand up for yourself, and you can always ask your friends to stand with you about this if they support your cause. if someone is trying to keep it up, having multiple people explain to them what they're doing sucks instead of just one, they're more likely to listen because human beings are impressionable.

hope you get it figured out

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: If You Want To View Paradise

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC 

Word count: 5.5K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: Walter and Kamaria explore aspects of their relationship, including control and vulnerability. This chapter is pretty emotional, so heed the warnings!

Chapter warnings: Walter says ‘Fuck’ a lot, soft!Dom!Walter, spicy texting, sexting, unrealistic working hours of a detective I’m sure of it, emotional moments, flashback to a violent incident, aftercare

A/N: Very Walter-centric chapter. I wanted to get inside his head. But also, Kamaria is my protagonist, so I made her the beginning and end of the chapter. Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Cross-posted on AO3

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV

Monday Night

I had to call him Sir at least once. For science. Just to see if my hypothesis was correct. And it was. Seems my ‘handsome stranger’ likes to be in charge. And I like the thought of him in charge. A few other thoughts run through my mind at that.

My shyness went right out the door! I can’t believe I just told this man that his growl went straight to my kittycat. Well, I did use an emoji. But he understood very well.

And he didn’t have to growl like that and get me all hot and bothered, had me squeezing my thighs together the whole ride home.

And he called me Princess! My submissive ass was salivating so I had to drop another ‘Yes Sir’.

I ate my salad and got into bed so quickly to sate this need, my head could have spun. After I quenched my appetite in various ways, a thought occurred to me. What happens now? How do I act around him, knowing what I know and what he knows? 

I’ll figure that shit out later, I guess. My brain is fried and my clit is blitzed. Put a fork in me, cuz I’m done. 

Damn, I can’t wait til I’m wrecked because of him…

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Morning

I wake up to my phone trumpeting ‘How Soon Is Now?’ by The Smiths. I’m still in my clothes from last night, my half-hard dick still out. Awesome. I gently tuck myself back in, noting that the skin is still sensitive to the touch. I did promise to beat it like it owed me money.

I silence my phone and think back to last night. Texting with Kam had been…enlightening. Turns out my suspicions were correct. She likes to be submissive, maybe even a little bratty too. I’ll tame her only if she gets out of line. 

Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. If she liked the growl, she’ll enjoy my feral side. But I won’t get ahead of myself. Haven’t even kissed her yet.

Yet being the keyword. I plan on devouring her lips. Both sets. There I go getting ahead of myself again. I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing.

I shoot her a quick text, I want her to know I’m thinking of her.

Me: Good morning Beautiful

I set my phone to the side and get undressed to take a shower. As I’m getting the water to temperature, my phone dings twice.

Kam: No ‘Princess’?

Kam: 🥺

That fucking emoji is gonna be the death of me, I am declaring it right now.

Me: Good morning beautiful Princess

Me: Is that better?

Kam: Yessssssss

Kam: NOW I can start my day 😉

Kam: How did you sleep?

Me: I passed right out after a little…strenuous activity.

Let’s see how she handles that.

Kam: I also passed out after some ‘strenuous activity’.

Kam: A shame we couldn’t have coordinated that better…

Sounds like she handled that like a champ, and she is insinuating we could have helped each other. This woman!

Me: Are you saying we could have…

Me: Helped each other, Princess?

A full thirty seconds pass before my phone dings again. By that time, I am already in the shower. She will just have to wait. And I will have to wait as well, even though I could just as easily look at the lock screen from the shower door. Nah, patience is the key here. Patience for me and perhaps anxiety for her. I finish my shower, not toweling off, and reach for my phone which has dinged multiple times by now.

Kam: I mean there is always FaceTime

Kam: And I do live pretty close to work

Kam: So in essence, we are probably close to each other

Kam: Not that I’m saying I’m ready for a FaceTime booty call

Kam: Or another kind of booty call

Kam: It’s been…a while for me 🥺

Me: How long has it been Princess?

Kam: Over a year 😫

A fucking year? And no one has turned that pussy into mincemeat? Why am I suddenly angry? I know why. It’s because my brain can’t fathom this woman not getting everything she wants all the time.

Me: Was that by choice? Bad breakup? 

Kam: You don’t know the half of it. 

Kam: But I wanna tell you about it. Just not over text, in person is better.

Me: I’m all ears. When you’re ready.

Me: There is no rush Princess

Kam: Thank you Sir, ok I need to shower and get ready

Me: I already showered

Me: [image sent]

Why the fuck do I always have sender’s remorse? It’s only my chest, not my dick or anything. Oh, but my Adonis belt is visible a tad. And I’m still wet from the shower.

Kam: 🥵🥵🥵

Kam: Sir!!! 

Kam: That’s what you’re hiding under those layers??

Me: Lol 

Kam: I wanna rub my hands through that thicket of hair

Me: And here I thought Princess was a shy one

Kam: Oh, I’m not as shy with texting…

Kam: I haven’t even kissed you yet

Kam: And I’m already thinking of other ways to use my mouth

Kam: 🤤😛

Kam: How am I gonna focus at work?

Me: Keep calm and Carry On Princess

Kam: 😡

There’s my little brat. Let’s see how far she takes it.

Me: Is that backtalk??

Kam: NO!!!!!!

Kam: I just…am frustrated now

And she can reign it in after a little encouragement. I like that.

Me: Good. Stay frustrated. 

Kam: 🥺

Me: Get ready for work Princess

Me: I’ll see you soon

Me: Text me when you get there

And with that, I put down my phone and get ready for my day and ignore whether or not my phone dings.

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Morning (continued)

I’m out the door after a while, ending up in the parking lot. Not in my usual spot as it was taken by a cute little silver Toyota, the driver checking herself out in the rearview mirror. I could crash this truck staring at her.

Me: You’re at work

Me: But I didn’t receive a text telling me so

Me: Hmm 🤔

Kam: I swear I just got here

Kam: I promise!!

Kam: Wait where are you??

Me: Be a good girl and go on in

Kam: Yes Sir

Not even an ounce of brattiness. Just an obeyed command. Fuck. I watch as she exits her car and locks it, walking towards the entrance. I exit my vehicle, just to the left of her, watching as she walks right by and into the building, smiling as she does. I notice she is wearing a heather grey box-pleat skirt and the way it hugs that ass is magical, the tops of her pink thigh-high socks are visibly hugging those deliciously thick thighs.

I send off a few texts as I follow behind her a few paces back.

Me: Hate to see you go

Me: Love to watch you leave 

Me: 🍑

Me: A thing of beauty

I wait until she looks up at me from her phone screen and I toss her a grin, brushing past her as I walk to my office. Imperceptibly to anyone else around us, of course. We just look like two colleagues exchanging pleasantries.

Kam: Thank you 😊

Kam: Have to get to work now Sir

Me: Good girl

Me: Busy day today, but I’ll be sure to walk you out later

Me: See you then

Kam: See you later Sir

And with that, I ignore my phone for the rest of the day. 

Not that I had to, Kam behaved herself. Every time I peeked at her desk, I saw that she was typing away on whatever assignment she was given. She goes out to lunch with the twins again today. I’m glad she is forming a routine here. Something to keep her busy on days I can’t seem to get a break. Like today.

Rachel barges in around 3 pm, fire in her eyes. No doubt something went wrong with the search teams this morning.

I was right, in a way.

“He lied,” Rachel scowls, throwing down the map of the bodies, “Not about the first four. The last body on this map isn’t who he said it would be. Why lie? I mean, after all the work you did to get it out of him. After all the work I put into this.” She sits in the chair across from me defeatedly.

Even after all this time, it’s hard to watch her be upset.

“Look, this is still a win. Even if he only gave us four out of five, that’s four more than we originally had. Four families can lay their loved ones to rest,” I tilt my head to try and reason with her, “This guy probably doesn’t even realize that he just made his situation worse by exposing that information.”

“You’re right. This is a win,” she blows out a satisfied breath, “I mean, if anything, now we have six confirmed kills. How often do killers bury their victims in the same place as another killer right?” 

It would almost be comical if it wasn’t about murder.

“Exactly. Now, we need to get the location of that last body. Are you up for that?” I ask, secretly hoping she wants me to rough him up again.

“Yeah, I got this. If I need you, I’ll send Harper to come to collect you,” She stands up and reaches for my hand over the desk. 

I take hers, knowing she just needed a positive touch in that moment. “You got this,” I say, letting her hand go after a slight squeeze.

“Detective Marshall?” Kamaria stands in my doorway, file in one hand, the hem of her pink button-up sweater clutched in the other hand. 

Fuck.

Rachel lets go of my hand a little too slowly, waving as she hightails it out of my office.

“Um, the file you requested on, uh,-”

“That wasn’t what it looked like, Kam,” I get up and close the door slightly, making sure Rachel is down the hall. I stand just within arm’s reach.

“So, you weren’t holding her hand?” Her bottom lip quivers and I hate myself for being the cause of it.

“I did hold her hand, but it was nothing more than a friendly gesture. She’s dealing with a tough case at the moment. I just wanted to let her know I’m here for her. I promise that’s all.” I’m rambling now, it would seem.

“And you don’t like her?” She clutches the file to her chest, not yet looking me in the eye.

“I used to like her,” I watch as she stiffens slightly, “Now I barely tolerate her. She’s my ex.”

She finally looks up at me, an unshed tear in her eye. “Do you like me?”

“Yes,” I take the file from her hands and throw it on my desk. Using my thumb, I wipe at the tear as it threatens to fall upon her cheek, “I like you.”

“I like you too, I promise I’m not some jealous little girl and I probably have no right to be anyway. I just don’t have a good history with my ex and I saw her hand in yours and I…just…” She rattled on, wrapping her arms around herself and clutching the fabric of her sweater through shaky fingers.

“You have every right to be confused right now. I comforted my ex, the ex who literally told me she doesn’t need me. But let me make one thing clear,” I take her hands in mine and lean down so my forehead touches hers, “Yours are the hands I want to hold.” 

I can feel her breathing pick up as she tilts her head to look from the door back to me. I don’t see the kiss coming, but the surprise of it has me reeling. Feeling her lips against mine is like breathing for the first time. Our tongues mingling is akin to tasting water after being in the desert. My hands long to wander but settle against her face. Our first kiss ends in panting breaths and passion restrained.

“Fuck,” is all I can croak out.

“Ditto,” she smiles, landing another peck at the corner of my mouth. 

“Do you have plans tonight?” I put feelers out, wondering if she’d like to continue this.

“You tell me, Sir,” she is delighted when that response earns her a low growl. We are so close, I’m sure she can feel it rumble in my chest.

“Let me cook for you at my place tonight. We can talk and spend time together,” I press, hoping this isn’t too soon to invite her over.

“I’d like that,” she leans back to look into my eyes, “May I have one more kiss? Just one and then I’ll go and let you get back to work.”

“Just one?” I ask, sly grin unhidden. She nods, biting her bottom lip. I reach up and tug that lip free of her teeth and lean in. I debate saying ‘No’ to watch her squirm, but we both need this.

I put my hand behind her head and slot our mouths together. Promises untold and wishes unmade dream up an expanse that we occupy for a few moments more. We pull back to catch our breaths, and before I take her right here on my desk.

“Go back to work, Princess. We have about,” I check my watch and look back to her, “An hour and a half til the end of the day. Think you can make it without letting your mind wander too much?” I question. My thumb is ghosting over her bottom lip before she takes the digit into her mouth, letting it go with a little sucking sound. That goes right to my dick and it takes everything out of me to not adjust right myself right in front of her.

“I can handle it, Sir” she murmured, stamping a kiss on the tip of my nose, “The question is, can you?” She moves to back out of the office, but I pull her back in, spinning her around so that her back is flush against me.

I growl lowly, nuzzling into her ear while holding her hips against the evidence of her handiwork. “Feel that, Princess? That is all your doing. No one else does that to me,” I admitted, letting her try and squirm against me before guiding her toward the door again, “Feel free to think about that, and thanks again for the file.” I bellow, smiling at her as I opened the door for her to leave.

She is visibly flustered but wipes it away before going back to her desk without another word. This is too much fun. 

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Evening

At about twelve after five, a knock on my door pulls my attention. Kamaria stands there, holding her coat and purse while dramatically checking a non-existent watch on her wrist. 

“Quarter past a freckle, is it?” I shake my head and she laughs, coming all the way into the office. 

“A freckle, indeed,” she teased, “I have a request, by the way. And you’re more than welcome to deny the said request. But you did also say that ‘mine are the hands you want to hold’ though”, she encouraged while doing a spot-on posh English accent to mimic my words. 

“And your request would be…?” I wondered, watching as her face adorably scrunches up in thought, “Does Princess want to hold my hand as we walk out?” The look of disbelief on her face is 100% worth overcoming my fear of public displays of affection.

“How…ok, maybe I did make it a bit obvious. But I also wanna see Nina and Sophie’s faces when they realize I wasn’t joking about having my eye on someone. They kept trying to get me to talk to the waiter at the diner and give him my number.” She twirls one of her locs around a finger, while I push down the urge to get jealous about a waiter making eyes at her.

“I’ll hold your hand on the way out, under one condition,” She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows as I speak, curious about what she’ll have to agree to. “You let me eat you out tonight until I’m satisfied. No more, no less.” I dared, searching her eyes for intimidation of any kind.

“Hold up, you’ll hold my hand AND you wanna eat me out? Say less! Let’s get out of here, Sir,” she gushed, no doubt forgetting the phrase ‘until I’m satisfied’. 

She’ll remember soon enough.

I stand up, grabbing my coat from the hook by the door. I reach out my hand to hold hers, and she smiles, locking our fingers. We walk out of my office, and down the hallway. I throw on my coat and help Kam into hers. The baffled faces of the twins as we walk by are more than enough, but the sputtering Nina does as I kiss Kam’s cheek is enough to do it all over again. Kam waves goodnight to her friends and we exit the building.

We walk to her car and I make sure she has my address programmed into her phone’s GPS before kissing her through the open car window. I get in my truck, pull out and wait for her to follow me. Before long, we are in the driveway and I’m taking her hand to help her out.

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Evening (continued)

While I am in the kitchen, whipping up a quick penne alfredo, I allow Kam to roam through the living room. She turns on a playlist from her phone to play on my Bluetooth speaker. She seems to like music that she can move to, and I do enjoy watching. As I set up our plates on the dining room table, I watch as she sways to a favorite of mine, ‘Human’ by Rag’n’Bone Man. 

‘Oh, some people got the real problems

Some people out of luck

Some people think I can solve them

Lord heavens above

I'm only human after all

I'm only human after all

Don't put the blame on me

Don't put the blame on me’

I walk up behind her and slot my arms around her waist, swaying along with her. “Dinner is ready, Princess,” I informed, leaning to kiss her cheek. She beams at me, peeking around me at the table.

“It smells wonderful and I am starving,” she piped over the sound of the music. 

She turns the volume down on the speaker and switches it to some light classical music. I recognize a piano arrangement of ‘Pure Imagination’ as she comes to join me at the table. I pull out her chair for her and she allows me to do so, my love language on full display. I sit across from her and nod for her to eat.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone cook for me before. I’m in my early thirties and I’m being romanticized and I’ll be honest, I don’t quite understand how to process this,” she says, twirling some noodles on her fork, “So, I’m doing what I always do and I’m letting my brain force words out of my mouth at high speed.” She stops herself, shoving almost too much food into her mouth and the most sinful moan follows. Noticing the smile on my face as I chew my first bite, she realizes all too quickly that I enjoy her sounds as she does mine.

“Good?” I surmise as she tries to hide her enjoyment.

“Very good,” she nods, stopping before taking another bite, “I absolutely love pasta. I’ve never met a pasta I don’t like. From a simple spaghetti to an intricate tagliatelli. I fucking love it. I love food. I’m sure that’s evident, right?” She shakes her head at herself, no doubt berating herself for putting herself down.

I put my fork down and put my hand over hers. “You know, it’s not hard to see your inner struggle with self-confidence. But, if I may say, the way you immediately try and correct yourself is astounding. In the same breath, you reign it in. A lot of us wish we had the same power. Don’t sell yourself so short.” I posit, trying to reassure her.

“I know that self-confidence is not exactly my strong suit. But I am confident about certain things in my life. Like my fashion sense and my taste in music,” she pauses, putting down her fork, “But before you? My preference for companionship left a lot to be desired.”

“How so?” I prod, giving her the space to talk freely.

“Um, that’s a long story honestly. But I want you to know the long and short of it, so I’ll just come out with it. I was in a long-term Dom/sub relationship where I was emotionally abused. And he went on to cheat on me multiple times…with my best friend of all people, which is why I find it difficult to trust most people. When I find a connection with someone, I tend to latch on to them tightly or push them away completely. I feel like I only know two emotions sometimes. Fear and loneliness.” Her hands reflexively flex, as if they are grabbing at the air. I place mine over hers and squeeze, urging her to continue.

“My ex, Christopher, and I met in college where we were art majors. He was absolutely beautiful. Sun-kissed skin, gorgeous blonde hair like spun gold, and these eyes that could draw you in making you feel like you were the only one in the room. We were like night and day, complete opposites. But he was relentless in his pursuit of me. He used to say I was his muse, a real starving artist type, ya know? Even though his parents paid for everything. Pretty soon, he moved me into his loft, with promises of love and understanding and I fell for every line he could throw out. Every lie, I fell for. Every half-truth, I believed. I was in love and nothing else mattered.” She squeezes my hand, and I rub the back of hers with my thumb.

“Soon after I agreed to marry him, he began to refer to me as his property. I was his, but he was never truly mine. He would comment on my weight, restricting my diet and putting on what I later realized were diet pills. He would say my best friend Britnee and I would be the perfect soulmate for him if we could somehow meld our personalities and bodies together. I would just laugh, I had no idea that I was being abused. I thought I was just in love with someone who wanted me to be better for them. And by better, what it really meant was, completely different. He wanted a doll. Someone he could parade around and do hideous acts to. Someone who wouldn’t complain about being mistreated.” Her breathing picks up and her eyes become vacant.

“He had never raised his hand to me in anger until the night I found out he and Britnee were having sex. There were times, of course, when he would take a ‘scene’ too far but I was able to bury those after a while. I told him I was leaving. He told me I couldn’t leave because I had no one to run to. That was true, my mother had given up on me completely when I was a child because she never wanted to be a mother. And my Dad was halfway across the world, working on his photography career. I was alone except for those two people who were draining me. One who treated me like a doormat and one who wanted what I had, weirdly enough. I walked in on them in our fucking bed and he gets mad at me, punching me full-force in the jaw. I barely reacted, I just knew I was done. When I say I barely reacted, it is a slight misjudgment of action. I picked up the nearest thing I could, my old sculpture of a heart I did my first week of art school and I hit him over the head with it.” I can only stifle a gasp, not sure where this was headed, but my interest was piqued tenfold at that moment.

“I hit him so hard that it knocked him out, and gave him a bit of brain damage as well. My Dad always told me that if a man raises his hands to a woman, she has every right to defend herself to whatever degree necessary. So, I did. And he never pressed charges against me. I doubt he even really remembers a lot of what he did. If he did, pressing charges would only shed light on the emotional abuse I suffered, so why bother?” She peeks at me for a second before continuing.

“I left that night. Never saw Britnee again either. And last I heard, Christopher was in rehab and quit art school. I was hospitalized soon after. I had gone to class for weeks after the incident until one day, I just stood up in class and started screaming and wouldn’t stop until EMTs were called and I was sedated. It was like my energy reserves were finally depleted. I had nothing left to hold onto. I was in the hospital for a week or two, medicated and getting therapy to deal with PTSD from being with a narcissistic lover and a terrible best friend. Until Nina and Sophia, I gave up on finding friends and letting people in. They still don’t know the details, but they know I had a bad breakup over a year ago. But I wanted to tell you the truth, I want you to know everything. So you can decide if I’m worth it.” She adds in the last sentence almost as a whisper.

“Where is Christopher now?” I coaxed, worried about her safety.

“Last I heard, and that was a year ago, he moved with his Dad back to Europe to be closer to his family. He still doesn’t remember what happened and I’m not sure I want him to.”

I place my hand on her cheek, ghosting over her warm skin. “Thank you for telling me. It means a lot to me that you would trust me with your past enough to bring me into the loop. And, please, believe me, this only makes me understand you more. It does not make me want to stop getting to know you.” She latches on to my hand where it rests on her cheek and locks eyes with me.

“Even after all I’ve said, you still want to be with me?” She chokes out, her armor cracking under the pressure of her truth.

“Of course I do, Princess. I, very much, still want to be with you. If you’ll let me,” I let go of her as she rounds the dining table and falls into my lap, crying her eyes out. “Shhh, I’m here, baby girl.” I cling to her in my arms, as tight as I can manage to try and convey that she is truly safe now.

I pick her up in my arms and carry her to the couch. I hold her in my lap and rest her head on my chest, running my thumb along her cheek as tears fall. “I’m right here, I’m not letting go.” I hum, rocking her back and forth in my arms.

“I…don’t like…seeming…weak,” she cries, still trying to hold onto a strong thread of her past.

“And you don’t seem weak. You are so strong for telling me. So strong. And I am so proud of you. Now, let me be strong for you, ok? You just reopened some old wounds and your body and spirit are going to need to rest. So let them. And I’ll be right here when you’re ready to talk again. I’m not going anywhere, Angel.” I kiss her forehead as she settles into me.

“You…wanted to…be intimate. I ruined it,” she whimpers, clutching my arms as I hold her tight.

“No, you didn’t ruin a thing. Don’t worry about that, my main concern is your safety and your comfort. You will never be alone as long as I’m here, I promise you that. Now, rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.” I feel her body snuggle down and relax into me. 

Kamaria’s POV

Tuesday Evening 

I awake late in the evening, still perched on Walter’s lap. His arms are still around me, his head tilted against the back of the couch. Soft snores escape his lips, his chest rising and falling in a comforting rhythm. I look at the clock on the bookshelf as it blinks at 9:27. The Bluetooth speaker now softly playing ‘Clair de Lune’. 

I look back to Walter as he shifts in his sleep, never letting me go. The serenity in which we sit contradicts our earlier conversation. I try and reconcile that I needed aftercare after speaking about my past relationship. I did lay it all out on the line, I’m actually not that surprised that my entire body needed a recharge.

I listen to the song float on to the ending and reach up to caress Walter’s face. He slowly smiles, eyes still closed, turning his head to kiss my palm.

“There’s my Angel,” he looks down at me, “How are you feeling?”

“Lighter, like a weight, has been lifted,” I sighed, placing my hand on his chest, “You’re the first person outside of my therapist to know about all this.”

“Thank you for letting me in, for trusting me with it,” he cooed, placing his hand over mine.

“For the record? I also like being called Angel, especially in this kind of setting,” I admit, not wanting to use the word and risk embarrassment.

“Do you mean especially during aftercare?” he soothed, no doubt reading my mind.

“Yes,” I mumble, cuddling into him, “and I really like to hear ‘Clair de Lune’. It helps to ground me.”

“Alright. I think I’ve got it. Hold you tight, call you Angel, and play your comfort song. We’ll add to the list if need be.” His sweet voice is truly a marvel to go along with his massive frame.

We look into each other’s eyes for a beat, leaning in at the same time to press our lips together. Not as passionate as earlier in the day, but it doesn’t need to be. This kiss is more of a tenderness than a need to thrill.

“I think I need to head home, I really am still quite tired and need to let you get rest,” I mutter, secretly hoping he doesn’t ask me to stay, not knowing whether or not I’m ready to stay.

“Yes, it is late. And I wouldn’t want you feeling too tired for work tomorrow,” he cautioned, lifting himself effortlessly with me still in his arms. He places me down on my feet and kisses my forehead. “I’ll walk you to your car, Princess.”

My tiny hand in his massive paw genuinely makes my heart flutter as we take our time to kiss goodbye, leaning against my car. I could kiss him until the sun rises, but instead, he pulls away and straightens my coat collar around my neck. I’m not used to being cared for and I think he can tell, but he still does the most anyway. Before he lets me go, he pulls off his sweater and shoves it in my hands, making me promise to text him when I get home. Did I just get a ‘boyfriend sweater’ shoved at me? 

I get home, immediately shedding layers in the bedroom and putting on his sweater, sending a quick text.

Me: Home now!

Walter Marshall: Is it weird I gave you a jumper and not a hoodie?

Me: It smells like you, I’ll take all the jumpers you wanna donate

Walter Marshall: You’re wearing it now aren’t you

Me: [image sent]

Walter Marshall: It suits you

Walter Marshall: Godddd those legs

Walter Marshall: Can’t wait to have them wrapped around me

Me: Around your shoulders or your hips?

Me: 😈

Walter Marshall: Both?

Walter Marshall: Both.

Walter Marshall: Both are good.

Me: Dork

Walter Marshall: You like this dork and he likes you back so what does that make you

Me: Seriously lucky 😇

Walter Marshall: Good. 

Walter Marshall: It’s late Princess

Walter Marshall: Ready for bed?

Me: Ready

Me: Cuddle me?

Walter Marshall: Always

Walter Marshall: Night Princess

Me: Night Sir

A/N: It was touch and go there for a second, hope you enjoyed it!! 💜💙

Chapter 4

**Tag List**

Henry Fanfiction: @enchantedbytomandhenry

Bright Like The Moon: @geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @liveoncoffeeandflowersss   Let me know if you wanna be added and for what plz! 😁