#I’m kind of already tired of this event tho like the story isn’t bad but I’m like ‘please just let me get to the end of the story already’

[tariah23]

Whenever servants get a swimsuit alt, they always talk so unnaturally about it like “now that I have a swimsuit, I can do anything!” Like I what does that even mean? I know this is nothing coming from Fgo but it makes me roll my eyes every other time it happens.

[aitarose]

hi! i’ve been so inactive lately and wanted to post something today, and i realized i haven’t made an appreciation post for my moots in a hot minute—so hey hotties, here’s some cute words about uu. oh and this isn’t all of my mutuals, just the one’s i’ve spoken to outside of the discord lol asjfdkl

@hesthermay —❥ you’re one of my best friends and ilysm and i hope that we get to meet in person one day, so you can endlessly hear me talk about how much i love jimmy woo. also i want to get matching marvel bracelets or smth, gonna look on etsy later for us ajskdlf

@probablydisgusting —❥ you’re like actually so funny and sweet, whenever you pop in the gc on snap just to say goodmorning or goodnight—it really makes everyone’s day and we love having you around. plus, you were one of the first people to pop into my inbox when i was an atla blog and i think that’s so nice.

@imarizaki —❥ i literaly love you sm mari, like you’re adorable and i want to give you a hug, i feel like you give rlly good hugs. and congrats on 400!! you deserve it and i hope 500 comes rolling around fast so you can hit another milestone in the near future ajskfdl

@tsukishumai —❥ cam i swear i know your name like I SWEAR I DO! you’re like an older sister to everyone in the discord and you bring such a comforting presence like it’s so nice to have you in the chat whenever you choose to pop in. you’re quite literally the calm to our insanity

@fukurodianthus —❥ dani you’re asleep rn but when you wake up and see this i want you do know that ily wifey. pls i love it when you harass me in my inbox, i think it’s so funny AND IM GOING TO FLOOD YOUR’S EVENTUALLY I JUST NEED TO BECOME ACTIVE AGAIN ASDJKL

@missmorosis —❥ you’re literally one of my favorite moots ever and you’re always so sweet to me and everyone else around you, it’s so heartwarming to see your positivity and happiness on tumblr and how hard you work! pls ilysm

@ray-ofmoonlight —❥ I LOVE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE BACHELOR. i haven’t responded in a hot minute, but dw i’ll answer in a bit i have to go through my messages jaksfld. you’re so nice and fun, and literally the sweetest ever

@diorzumi​ —❥ hi rheya! i’m so glad you took the time and all that hard work to make the server, like that’s insane and i still can’t believe you did all of that. pls the amount of effort you put into keeping it up is so evident and amazing!! also ur rlly pretty, like RLLY pretty

@luvoikawa​ —❥ gigi!! my face literally lights up whenever i see you in my notifs or on my dash pls. i love your energy sm and the presence you bring to the discord. like idk, you just seem really cool to me, does that make sense? like you have cool girl energy.

@sugas-cookie​ —❥ hello rissie. you should be sleeping rn, but ily and you’re my favorite and only child, and no matter what i say i would never bring you back to the ditch. but like...the frogs? i fucking hate the frogs, abolish all frogs they make me physically cringe i cannot.

@kei7ime​ —❥ CHLOEEE!! every time i see your theme i feel so satisfied, like it’s so pretty it rlly is. you’re so fun and i love talking to you or just popping in your inbox to say hi. omg hi chloe!! ok ok ily

@pxnk-velvet​ —❥ angie your drawing of us are so cute and i love them sm, and i can’t wait to read the story that you’ve been writing of our gc as a volleyball team, like pls i’m so excited. also the line “just shut up already, angie” lives in my head rent free

@miyalove​ —❥ hi dylan! i haven’t popped in your inbox in a while but i just wanted to tell you that i love u and you’re so nice and sweet and ilysm. you give off hot girl energy dylan, like for real, you rlly do.

@iwaizoom​ —❥ HI JADE. you’re so nice and your blog is so pretty, like the light green jaskljl PLS ITS SO PRETTY. i love the vibes you give off like you’re so chill and so easy to talk to sjakljdkl pls ilysm

@kageyuji​ —❥ lore i love you. like i love you. every time i talk to you i just feel happy like idk it’s this overwhelming feeling, you just have this gift where people feel comfortable when they’re talking to you. and your blog is so pretty pls asdjl

@hikariakaashi​ —❥ you’re one of my favorite moots, firstly bc of our interactions on tumblr in the early days of the discord and now on snap too. you have rlly good style, like rlly good style—and whenever you do your voice asks, your voice is like rlly pretty! girl you have a rlly pretty voice!

@ceci-chan​ —❥ hi twinnie! pls i think it’s so funny that we have literally the exact same nose, that’s actually wild. it’s so fun to watch your blog grow and your events are so cute and ily

@nekomabvc​ —❥ i buried you in here so you’d have to search for your part. literally going to say nothing i’m tired of writing about you goodbye. you called me a whore this morning. that’s not very swag of you, i’m going to report you to mab and cancel you on corpse tumblr.

@bellesowl​ —❥ hi isa! we haven’t interacted all that much, but in the times we have you’ve been so kind. and you’re rlly pretty, just sayin. you’re blog is also super aesthetic and i literally live for it, pls the muted tones are everything ajsdlk

@gellysticks​ —❥ angela pls you’re actually so funny like you’re so funny. every time your tiktoks come up in my suggested they literally make me laugh pls—but the frogs are terrible. abort frogs. this is a frog slandering blog. me and all my homies HATE frogs.

@cafemiya​ —❥ issy you give off such hot girl energy (and you are a hot girl anyways) and your energy is so contagious, like idk how it just is. you bring this positivity to the discord just by being there and i know everyone is so thankful that you’re so interactive with us jaskfdl

@biqherosix​ —❥ DANIZA I HAVEN’T OPENED YOUR SNAP YET BUT I RLLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR BAND PLAY. pls that’s literally so cool, like i wish i was in a cool band with my friends jsakdljkl. i love talking to you and we’ve been friends for like a good three months now which is crazy

@velvetfireworks​ —❥ rach i literally never read fics but yours are so good and they live in my head rent free. PLS THE SAKUSA ONE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB AUDHS. you’re so nice and so talented and i reread your masterlist OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THE MOB AU ONE THAT ONE IS PERFECTION.

@hajiswife​ —❥ hi gabbie! your blog is gorgeous and your so nice pls!! like i literally can’t believe we’re mutuals it hits me like a brick. i love your works and your energy sjaklfdjl i’ll probably be popping in your inbox later just to say hi lol

@svgashi​ —❥ NIKE!!! omg we’re literally sister wives. you’re the first moot i had on tumblr that understood how great sugawara is and it’s like a breath of fresh air from the constant slandering my friends give him. ILY

@sexy-bee-juice​ —❥ aja!! i love getting your messages and just saying the most out of pocket things with you, and your reblogs make me laugh so hard like you’re rlly funny. also my broken french is terrible but i’m glad it makes you laugh ajskfdl

@koutarousangel​ —❥ MICKEY PLS YOURE SO FUNNY. I LOVE YOUR VIBES AND EVERYTHING LIKE YOURE FUNNY. and ily too. just putting that in there in case i haven’t said it in a while <3

@hvnlydmn​ —❥ hi ains! congrats on 5k!! that’s literally so insane like omg you must be reeling rn jadskfl you really really deserve it tho, everyone sees how hard you work and how much content you produce in such a short amount of time CONGRATS ILY

@akaashi-bby​ —❥ victoria you were the first person i talked to teen wolf with in like three years pls. i’m listening to a song from the show atm and it’s making me sad but ilysm and i love talking to you about literally anything

@laineywritesstuff​ —❥ LAINE!! hi! you’re so pretty like you look like you give the warmest hugs and i feel like if i ever met you in person i’d just get engulfed does that make sense? you’re so nice and ilysm and i hope you’re have a fantastic day!

@kiyoalex​ —❥ you’re rlly funny. like rlly funny. and i feel like we match each other’s energy pretty well in pms. pls my insanity is too real back there BUT IT’S OK I THINK BC YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT LOL ILY

@shoutamajiki​ —❥ hi nana!! you’re so nice and i’m so glad you joined the discord! and i’m so sorry i added you to my terrible private story on snap pls it’s so bad i’m very very sorry about that jksalfjdl

@sunacity​ —❥ nea i love your works so much like literally they LIVE in my head. you’re so talented and i can’t believe we’re mutuals that’s literally insane bc i love your stuff pls. and on top of being talented you’re so nice, like the nicest jaskdflj i can’t

ok ok i think that’s it for now, this isn’t all of my mutuals—but it’s the one’s i interact with the most and if we are moots and i didn’t include you pls my inbox or pms are always open to just like go insane in. ok have a great rest of your day!!

[cozyforjate]

MacGyver 5x03-Review

MacRiley fam, this will be my last MacGyver review. Thanks for the support and the great feedback on my reviews so far. You guys are awesome! But i’m taking a looong break from this show. I’ll be watching the Jack episode and if we get a Bozer, Matty or Riley centric i’ll tune in to watch. But my passion and excitement for this show is mostly over now.

I have so many things to say about 5x03 but if i start to express all my feelings i’m afraid i might break Tumblr. LOL 

This probably wouldn’t feel like a proper review coz i’m gonna focus on the RETCON that the writers pulled out of their asses to keep MacDesi together.

Ok so for people who are not familiar with the word “retcon”; it means changing an aspect of a fictional work by introducing a piece of new information, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

The writers usually pull a retcon, when one aspect of an already canon plot isn’t working well. You can call it a “fix-it” method.

In terms of MacDesi, they retconned some moments from season 4 that defined this relationship. I think the new showrunner and the writers team realized that MacDesi has become quite “toxic” during season 4. But because the additional episodes kept them together, they needed to at least fix this relationship.

From their POV it’s understandable to a degree. But from a viewers POV it’s total BS. Because what we watched in season 4, can’t be changed.

We remember the unhealthy dynamic between them, we remember the lack of trust between them, we remember how incompatible they were, we remember how they couldn’t communicate with each other, we remember Mac not letting her in emotionally, not opening up to her at all, we remember how much they BOTH hurt each other, we remember Mac’s own words on their relationship.

Most importantly we still remember 4x12. How quickly Desi turned her back on him, how she brought his mothers and aunts names into their ugly fight, how Mac said he’d say anything to get her off his back, we remember how she and Russ left Mac no choice but to improvise a plan to save lives, we remember Riley risking everything to protect him and be there for him. WE REMEMBER.

So when you dismiss all of that and re-write MacDesi as if they’re this great couple, it’s not going to work for people. And when you tease MacRiley the whole week with promos, exclusive pictures, articles, SM promotion; promising progress between Mac and Riley only to walk over everything that made them special, you get a lot of NEGATIVE reaction from the fans. With good reason.

* * *

Episode started with Mac and Riley on a picnic mission. The scene was amazing in every sense. The colors, lighting, the conversation between them, the almost kiss, the way Mac held Riley and they lied down for a while, the smug smile on his face and the looks he gave to Riley were all awesome! The car chase was super fun too!

But then everything went down the toilet. Coz in the next scene Mac was complaining to Bozer about how Desi wasn’t spending time with him and avoiding his date attempts. In this scene they retconned Bozer too. For the first time, Bozer encouraged Mac to go ask Desi out and fix their relationship.

Normally Bozer would never do such a thing. Why? Bcoz he’s been against a romantic relationship between them ever since Desi first showed up in 3x14. Bozer thought it was a bad idea from the start, called them Mesi (messy), he didn’t think it was a good idea to bring Desi back on the team in 4x01, coz MD break up was NUCLEAR. So up until 5x03 Bozer was never on Team MacDesi. Lets also remember this exchange between them:

In 4x12 when Bozer was trying to save Mac and Riley’s lives, he turns to Desi... 

Bozer: Desi, back me up here.

Desi: Sometimes we need to sacrifice the things we love for the greater good.

So after 4x12, one would only expect that his thoughts on MD would get stronger. But guess what? Bozer is now supporting MD. Just like that. I don’t buy it writers, sorry.

Back to the scene… Mac wants to go on a date with Desi. And he is so desperate about it. We had to witness one of the most awkward scenes between them. Not only that but we had to sit through Riley throwing smiles at MD, saying her feelings for Mac was just Codex adrenaline. Riley, who couldn’t watch any interaction between MD, is now totally cool with them!

And lets just say that Riley was pretending she’s over Mac, that she lied to Bozer bcoz she’s trying to move on. We already watched her having feelings for Mac, hiding those feelings and pining for him. Her one-sided love can’t drive the plot anymore. 

Besides she didn’t need to give her blessings to MD. It was an overkill. I really hated the scene where she says “Don’t screw up this time” to Mac…That was totally out of character for Riley.  

Riley who reminded Desi that Russ & her were gonna nuke them,

Riley who said she went after Mac coz she trusted him &asked Desi "Why didn't you?",

Riley who risked it all to protect Mac, tells Mac not to screw it up with Desi.

By saying those words, Riley makes it known that Mac was the one screwing up his rl with Desi. Desi had no fault. Once again the writers used my favorite character to prop my least favorite character. Shame on you!

***

I’m not gonna talk about every MacDesi scene in this episode. But let me just say that the writers turned Mac into a desperate, begging, lovesick puppy. He asked Desi for a date like 5 times, apologized twice. Kissed her out of the blue. Bcoz lets face it, that scene was so unnecessary. Nobody was onto them, the police car was passing by slowly and if the police were really suspicious, why would they look at the couple kissing instead of checking who’s in the car? So stupid. Oh and while they were kissing for minutes with great lighting and all, General Ma escaped. Mac acting this stupid, is not something we are used to see. But what you gonna do? I guess love is not only blind but also destroyes brain cells in the process.

Anyway, Mac literally begging Desi to go on a date with him was agonizing to watch. Every time he offers a new dating idea, Desi’s answer is NAH. Back in the picnic scene she made it sound like she wanted to date Mac, but of course she needs to make him suffer first!

I only like to point out the scene where Mac –finally- opened up to Desi about the fishing trip he and his father went together. This story is obviously precious to him. He called it a happy memory. Clearly he misses his father, still mourning for his loss. So he shared his happy memory and asked if she would like to go fishing with him. Desi’s answer? “Not gonna go fishing with you as our first date!” You can read the dissapointment on his face. And my heart breaks for Mac but this kind of treatment is something he’s asking for.

He is desperate to get Desi back. The fact that they are the worst match ever, doesn’t change sh*t. Mac wants Desi and he loves Desi for god knows why.

***

Btw- the whole “lets blame only Mac for Codex and ignore Desi’s wrongdoings” plot is disgusting. Yes, Mac suffocating Desi and Russ to escape Phoenix with Scarlett was wrong. Yes he hurt her, yes in a sense he betrayed her. AND HE APOLOGIZED. But what about Desi? What about her betrayel? 

First they made Riley apologize to Desi for following Mac and now they made Mac apologize… But no apologies from Desi. The writers are obviously worshipping Desi and they’re ready to sacrifice every character to make her look “perfect”. I’m sorry but i’m not here to watch the Desi show, or more MacDesi nonsense.

***

Mac said Desi is the woman he loves… but not only that, she is also the woman who guided him back. And the RETCON is really strong with this scene.

Lets remember…

In 4x08 Mac loses his father, at the end of the episode Desi wants to go with Mac but Mac stops her, telling he’d see her tomorrow.

In 4x09 Desi says he can share his burden with her, Mac’s not interested, he says what he needs is to stop Codex.

In 4x10 Mac makes apocalypse kits for Riley and Desi. Desi’s so happy she got a crossbow and didn’t think those kits were a bad sign. But Riley notices that Mac is not in a good place, he needed help and support. Riley shares her concerns about Mac with Desi. She probably thinks it’s not up to her to be the one doing that when Desi is the girlfriend. So after her conversation with Riley, Desi makes soup and gives Mac a compass. Saying he’s not lost (he clearly was tho). She askes if everything’s ok, he looks different but Mac says, he’s just tired.

In 4x12 Mac is lying in bed, lost in his own mind, he gets up, leaves the compass on her side of the nightstand… On the run he ignores Desi’s calls.

Then things get really ugly for MacDesi. Desi says “You are so drunk on somescrewed-up cocktail of your mom, your aunt, Codex science...”… She says “You're compromised”…  Mac was just trying to get Scarlett on their side to stop Codex but Desi couldn’t see it. She thought Mac was losing it!

And then Desi sides with Russ and turns her back on Mac. Russ dismisses Mac from the Codex mission. Mac's forced to improvise. Bcoz he wants to stop Codex without bloodshed.

So as you can see they completely re-wrote the events of 4x12 to fix MD.

Desi says: “I had front-row seats to the war that raged in you last year, and I can't do that again. Lose you.”

She was ready to sacrifice him for the greater good. But yeah, sure! Why not.

Mac says: “Des, I know it looked like I was lost, but you were there the whole time, guiding me back home.”

THE WHOLE TIME.

In 3 times she “tried” to be there for him, Mac didn't let her in emotionally but lets just say that she brought him back to his senses.

Lets just say that the compass he left on her side of the nightstand represents that it guided him back. (btw lets also ignore that the compass Mac gave Desi back was a different one. Who knows, maybe he threw it in the garbage during the pandemic and bought a new one)

Lets just forget who really brought him back. Lets just ignore what Riley did for Mac. How she saved him, how she was the one who risked everything for Mac. How she was the one there by his side when they were facing a missile.

Only if we forget and retcon history we can all buy MacDesi. 

But i can’t… I can’t forget, i’m not ok with a retconned half-ass love story that they want to sell with MD. I can’t sit through the episodes and keep watching the “flawless Desi” show.

This show isn’t entertaining to me anymore. I can’t recognize Mac, i’m pissed that my fav characters are being used as tools to prop Desi.

One last thing before i say my final goodbyes:

The lighting in this episode was so weird. In almost every scene, heavy light effects distracted me. Usually they use it when they show you a flashback, a dream or a hallucination to seperate the real-time scenes from others. But this episode had them from the start to the end. So i don’t know what to make of this.

Some of the dialogues had subtexts…

Leland to Russ: Now, I know you don't care about much in this world, but even the best of us can be blinded by those we love.

General Ma to Mac: I was blinded by him (Leland) once. I-I won't be blinded again.

Mac: Many things blind us. Anger, betrayal, even love. But sometimes, a little blindness can work to your advantage. You can create a fog that will cause the world around you to disappear.

Normally i would dive deep into the subtextland. But i don’t think the writers were trying to give some deep message or anything. 

I do believe that Mac is totally blinded by his “idea” of love… But i’m done waiting for him to open his eyes. The Mac i watched in this episode is not My Mac.

Writers made their choice. They made Mac's feelings crystal clear. He's all about Desi. At this point, Desi breaking up with him would mean nothing to me. Just like Riley still having feelings for Mac means nothing anymore.

Official accounts tweeting “There’s more to come for MacRiley” means nothing to me anymore.

Noone wants a rebound plot but unfortunately it's the only possibility they left to MacRiley. My ship is tainted forever. 

And as a Riley stan, i don’t want this Mac with my girl. She deserves better.

[ydolanssss]

A hood love story: G.D

Warnings: violence, sexual innuendos, a lot of cursing.

Pairing: Grayson Dolan X female reader.

Summary: bottom line is... remember where tf you came from.

-------------------------------------------------

Friday night lights.....most basic ass idea for a football game.

Just a whole shit-ton of rich ass white kids, acting like they hard when in actuality they have no awareness of anything outside of thier little gated community.

They weren't aware of the situation Grayson was in.

They either villainize him and where he's from, Or they romanticize where he's from. Either way they never talk to him.

They talk to ethan though, because unlike his brother he decided to just forget who he was and where he came from...that including his brother.

But you didn't think like them, you didn't treat people differently because of where they come from, or where they live. So you became friends with gray, best friends, and y'all were together all the time.

"hey gray you tryna go to the game today? You asked leaning on the locker next to his.

"there's a game?"

"yea against the cougars, you wanna go?"

"....mmm" gray never really went to any school event because well...he was kind of a loner, you didn't blame him tho.

"pleeeeeaaaseee, gray can we?" You asked with pleading eyes, and a quivering pouty lip.

"...fine"

"YESSIRRR, let's goo" you shouted, and skipped to class.

You went through the next couple of classes pretty quickly, went home, did some homework and waited for Grayson to come over.

"when you coming over hoe"

"I'm already outside, come on"

You run outside lock the door, hop in the car and head back to the school. The game had already started, but no one had scored yet. You and gray sit on the bleachers, and eat some popcorn.

"who you think finna win?" Gray said shoving food in his mouth. "I don't know, but prolly not our school, they haven't won a game in like...ever."

"true true" gray nodding in agreement untill his phone starts ringing. "Ayo hold up I gotta take this."

"hmm oh okay, I'll stay here" reassuring him. He walks to the back of the bleachers, "yo, wassup?"

*Anonymous* "Ayo when I see you, you getting lit tf up".

"Whoa, what? Who is this?" Gray asked confused as too who was tryna kill him.

"you know who this is lil bruh, it's daymen, oscars brother. You stole some shit from him the other day, and gave it to ya lil rich ass friends."

"what? Rich ass friends? Ion got no rich ass friends."

"okay okay, so you gon lie to me now huh?, Alright look, bring my lil brother his money or you getting lit tf up, and I take ya lil bitch for myself. You know the fine one, wit the braids."

"Don't you fuckin touch her."

Meanwhile you on the bleachers

"bitch what the fuck are you talking about?" Looking at claire and her lil posse.

"you know what I'm talking about, how long you been fucking my boyfriend."

"claire....who's your boyfriend?" You ask genuinely curious, because you do not keep tabs on miss bam-ba-lam-my-cars-a-hundred-grand.

"Grayson is duh." Because apperently that was common knowledge.

"g-grayson, Grayson Dolan the brother of Ethan Dolan, correct, just to make sure, Grayson with a "a" and a "o" not a I or a E. That Grayson?" Ya know...just to be clear.

"yes that Grayson, god are you dense?!"

"Oh no ma'am very much I am not, because the only grayson i know, don't fuck with bitches like you. Oh hell no, cuz yall don't fuck with people like him. And out of the mother fucking blue, he's your man, sweet-pea, i-is that what you telling me?" Because miss ma'am got you fucked alllll the way up.

"oh really how are you gonna tell me who I'm dating, I had sex with and who stole weed for me?" You pause....

"bruh what? Ugh now I know you tripping because Grayson don't fucking smo-"

"Aye, come on! Games boring anyway." Grayson yells from the bottom of the bleachers.

"alrighty well, miss. Thing I don't know what to tell you. Gods speed finding your Grayson because mine don't smoke." You picked up your things and walked with gray back to the car.

"hey what was the call about?" You asked

"huh? Oh it's was just my mom asking how long we were gonna stay at the game, I told her for the next hour so we could go do something else." He said.

You notice he kept looking around a lot, like he's was paranoid, waiting for something to happen.

"gray you good? You keep looking around, what's wrong?" You out ur hand on his shoulder concerned.

"huh?! Ohh nothing nothing let's go, come on"

He drags you to the car, and open the door for you, and he gets in the driver's side and drives off.

"ok I guess, um whatcha wanna do, wanna go to the park, or that on abandoned house that has a perfect view of the sunset, or ice cream, or ice cream and sunset. You looked at him, lip pouting head turn to the side, waiting for answer.

"uhh...ice cream only I wanna get you home okay?" He sighs, hands gripping the wheel tight as hell.

"umm what no I don't wan-"

"No! I have to get you home. I just, I just do, okay? Please I'm sorry for yelling come here." As you two pull in to the ice cream parlor's parking lot.

You lean in and he kisses you on your forehead, " I just need to be safe okay, it's late I don't want you out at night okay?"

"what? What do you mean I'm with you?"

He walks to your side of the car to open the door, "I know but....you cant be around me now at night at least it's not safe." After you get out he walks to the counter and tells you the get a table, you stand puzzled for a bit but you go anyway.

when he gets back with two oreo milkshakes, you ask him, "gray wait why isn't it safe? Why can't I be around you? What going on?." You ask frantic, worried your friend is in some sort of trouble.

"just because you can't don't- who is that?"

He asks leaned down a little.

"who is who? You turn around, and see a car speeding towards you both." Gray grabs your arm and pulls you down.

"GET DOWN! GO RUN BACK TO THE CAR!"

You do, you get to the car get inside and lean down, then you hear gun shots fire.

*bow bow bow bow*

The car skids off and everything is quiet, you look up and you see Grayson laid out on the ground. "oh my god...".

You get out hesitantly walking towards his body, "g-gray...baby, please oh God please no, god don't tell me he's gone" tears streaming down your face, you can't bare to walk any closer, and you drop to your knees and sob.

"no..please not my best friend." As the smoke clears you say this, the sun is setting in the background, it's a somber feeling somehow you feel safe and sad at the same time, while in that same moment your best friend, very much could be breathing his last breaths.

Then, like the miracle baby he is, Grayson wakes up, with a hell of pain in his shoulder. "Wha-? Ohh fuck my shoulder, holy shit, wait where's? Hey, hey, pretty girl why you crying?" He asks litterally sitting up looking at you holding his shoulder.

You stop crying, eyes shoot open. "Wha- GRAY!!" you run over and hug him, crying.

"i-i thought you were dead, *sniff* you were-*sniff* laying there not moving." Say sobbing into his shoulder.

He holds you with his good arm, "shh shh, it's ok, I'm not dead baby, I'm right here, I'm bleeding out of my shoulder and I should probably go to the hospital, but im not dead." His head sitting on top of yours

"oh shit, yea okay let's go." You help him to the car and start driving, you drop him off at the hospital and tell him you're gonna go take care of something.

You get back in your car and drive to a harbor, you then park and start disassembling his gun.

"god...I don't even know why he has this thing, granted he did get shot at but for fucks sake." You mumbled to yourself.

You speed back to the hospital,the doctors tell you he already out of surgery and he's doing fine, and they tell you his room number.

You walk back to his room. "Hey...Grayson baby, you okay?" You whisper not wanting to scare him.

"hmm? Oh yea hey come in." He's sitting up in bed both of his arms in slings. "Can you do me a favors and grab my juice box?"

You look on his tray and there's a little apple juice, juice box on it. "Oh yea sure sweetie." You poke the straw through the hole and hold it up to his mouth.

"Thank you."

"your welcome lovie." The doctor came in. "Ah, I see your already on it, that's good, very sweet of you." You look at him confused.

"um care to explain sir, or am I slow."

He chuckles, "my apologies, um since your friend, I'm assuming has two bad shoulder that have made him unable to move his arms at all he will need around the clock assistance."

You set down the juice box that he basically breathed in. "What do you mean both shoulders I thought he only got shot in one?"

"oh he did but his other shoulder is slightly sprained it's should heal up in a around 2 and a half weeks, while the other shoulder should take at most 4, but normally three. So due to his situation, his arm mobility is hindered untill a later date." He says with his arms crossed over his clip board.

You sit next to gray and look at him, "well I'm down, it's not like we don't spend every single second with each anyway." Gray laughs, "yea I guess thats true."

The doctors clear him and you help him get dressed but since it was late you threw a hoodie on him since there was no use for the sleeves.

You both get in the car and drive to your house, "come on gray we gotta get you to sleep." You tap and rub his tummy to wake him.

You get him up and walk up stairs to your bathroom. "Ok lemme brush your teeth." You sit on the sink and brush for him.

"okay that's done. Um alright it's 2 am ur tired I'm tired we can do the rest tomorrow okay?" You ask Grayson who's barley keeping his eyes open. "Okayyy." He says yawning.

"all right let's go to bed." You walk him over to the side of the bed and help him sit down.

" all right be careful and don't drop all the way down be careful not to lose your- oh fuck!"

You both lost your balance and fell on the bed, your on top of him millimeters away from his face. You never really looked at Grayson that way, never really looked at his eyes, dark as the ocean pulling you deeper and deeper to the point where you don't care if you drown.

Or his lips, they look so soft and smooth, if you were to kiss them it would feel like silk pillows. His lips..."oh fuck his lips."

Grayson catches your eyes staring at his lips and he sits up. "My lips baby, hmm that what you want?" You both sitting up on the bed. "Where? Your neck, cheek?" He drags his nose up the side of your neck to your ear.

"or that pretty little pussy?"

You gasp and get up off of him. "Um okay time to go to bed for real this time. Uh you good? you okay? Need any thing?"

"uh nah, nah I'm good. I guess...I'm laying flat then?" You turn to look at him.

"um yea I think that would be best."

You both start to relax and go to sleep.

"hey gray? I gotta ask you something, you know what's up with clair because she came up to me claiming I'm fucking her boyfriend, who's apperently you and also you stole some weed for her and that just dosent make sense to me."

He jerks his head to look at you "wait what!? When?"

"when you left to answer the phone she said your her boyfriend and she would know the person's she's been fucking and the guy who stole weed for her."

"so that's why- ughh fucking ethan."

"what? What about him? And what was that phone call about?"

He sighed "okay so I got a phone call from this guy named daemin, and I guess he thinks I stole weed from his little brother oscar, and I guess he's been watching me or something he said if I don't get his money he'll light my ass up and he'd go for my lil bitch himself, the one with the braids."

"oh shit so it was Ethan who stole the weed and prolly gave that guy your number, and prolly claimed he was you...now what the fuck wrong with claire?"

"Claire don't know that theres two of us and she don't talk to people he's friends with so he probably lied to her to."

Laying there in shock you think to yourself. "What kinda fucked up shit you got going on to lie about your whole identity and pretend to be your twin brother that you treat like shit?"

"ion know ask him."

You said it outloud.... again. "Oh shit my bad. But I will actually."

"what? No don't-"

"no gray this shit is crazy. YOU GOT SHOT! I'm not gonna let him get away with that shit gray! Now go to bed."

He sighs and closes his eyes.

——————————————————————

Next morning comes around. You wake up early to make grays' breakfast. A protein shake with some greek yogurt mixed with fruit.

You go back upstairs and he's awake.

"hey boo sorry to keep you waiting. I was making your breakfast. Need help?"

"yeth please."

"okay silly, sit up, legs out, and stand up on three okay? One, two, three...theeeere we go."

You walk over to the bathroom. Brush his teeth, wash his face and...help him pee.

"okay so how do you wanna do this gray?"

"umm you could hold it? If you wanna."

"seriously grayson. But that's like-"

"look your gonna have to bathe me at one point within these three weeks so like might as well get used to it."

"mm true, gosh okay."

You pull his pants down quickly trying to get this over with as soon as possible.

"okay so do I just like h-hold it or something? Or like do I just let it hang there?"

"no no you got to hold it bro otherwise I'll piss on myself then you have to change my pants and my underwear and wipe my legs down."

"ewww... Okay okay I guess this is better. Um sorry if my hands are cold."

"your all good."

"speaking of shower, let's just get that out the way because you haven't showered in a brick."

He sighs "alright"

You help him get his clothes off and turn on the shower.

"alright hop in big dic- oop- I mean big head." You giggle to yourself.

"ouu ok baby, oh and just for pure curiosity, which head?"

You slowly turn to him. "The one that made you think of that dumbass question, goofy get in, naughty ass."

"okay! Okay! Shit you the naughty one." Said with a smirk followed by a failed and painful attempt to slap your ass.

"ow! Ow! Fuck my shoulder!"

"and that's what ya get, hop in." You say giving him a pinch on the ass.

"what a nice butt, good for you!"

"thank you queen." He smiles

"your welcome king." And proceed to bathe him

-------------------------------------------------

A couple hours later you left Grayson at home with him and a tv and left out all the snacks on the counter at a reachable level, whole you went out and....handle some business.

On the phone: "hey, meet me at the bleachers okay I need to talk to you about something."

"uh yea sure I'll be there."

A couple hours later, your sitting on the bleachers with the cold New Jersey air, causing your nose to become ice cold.

"hey." You jumped.

"oh shit! Oh hey sorry you scared me."

"ha, yea um sorry about that, so what did you wanna talk about?"

Now to most that seems like a very obvious question, it'd go something like 'hey why the fuck did you lie about your identity and completely drop your twin fucking brother'. Right? No.

The problem is you and Ethan have history, which also adds to the reason why your a lot closer to gray than Ethan and was like the breaking point of Ethan and Grayson relationship.

Basically in freshman year of highschool you and Ethan....dated?? Well no you did date but...it was shorted lived because he decided to cheat...on you. Crazy right? I know. And you'll never guess who he cheated on you with.....Claire!!! Isn't that amazing, what a coincidence.

So the day you found out was kinda intense.....

"What is wrong with you!"

"Why would you do that to her!"

"As long as we've know her!"

"Huh Ethan! What's the matter with you! Who raised you! It wasn't ma! I most definitely wasn't dad!"

Grayson being the lovely, kind, understanding soul that he is decided to give Ethan a piece of his mind after consoling you in the living room.

"Jesus Grayson! It wasn't even that bad!"

With his hands on his hips, mouth ajar and eyes bugging out of his head.

"you've gotta be shitting me. You made out with the bitch ON SNAPCHAT! THEY GOT YOU IN 4K BRO! What do you mean it isn't that bad!"

"look why does it bother you so much? Like it's not your relationship. It's mine."

"Because your my brother and I love you and I love her to, I want her to be loved and appreciated the way she deserves, and I expected better from you, I never thought, my brother, a fucking scumbag of a man. Had the audacity to cheat on his girl. I guess I stand fucking corrected."

They sit in silence for a while. Your in the living room nervous because you've seen them fight of course but, never this heated.

"well if you love so damn much you be with her, I don't fucking want her if there's gonna be this much drama."

Time for you to get angry.

"First of all motherfucker you cheated! Don't you fucking switch this around on me."

Grayson stands in front of you, tear filling your eyes by the gallons.

"I fuckin loved you....so much, so hard...I did. And this what you fucking do...this the last time I love someone as much as I loved you."

And with that you stormed out. Grayson followed disgusted with his brother.

--------

"....so what did you wanna talk about."

You snap back into reality.

"umm well one your fucking brother was shot!"

He jumps back. "What?! Was he really? When by who?"

"a few days ago. most likely by a guy named oscar...who shot him because apparently, Grayson 'sober4L' Dolan™, stole weed from him. Now the only people in this damn highschool that smoke are those rich ass kids you hang out with, and gray got a phone call about this whole situation and claimed that if he didn't get his money or the weed back, he was gonna shoot up him and take his lil girlfriend, 'the one with the braids'."

He rocks back and forth anxiously, knowing he was caught.

"and of course the only girl he's around with braids is me."

"okay look i-"

"Aht aht wait, I'm not done."

"because at the same time grayson was on the phone I had and interaction with the lovely ms.claire. She claimed I was 'fucking her boyfriend' and I asked who and she said 'grayson the one who stole weed for me'."

He puts his head in his hands.

"so now I'm looking at her like she dumb because we both know Grayson dosent smoke, so a couple hours later I ask grayson about the situation and then he tells me about the phone call, so we put two and two together."

"so gray got a call from someone claiming he stole thier weed, claire your lovely girlfriend enlightened me on the fact that I was sleeping with her boyfriend, who stole weed for her. Knowing Grayson is neither dating her or smokes. So who on earth, could have Grayson's number, steal Grayson name and identity and create a whole new fucking life. Oh hmm let's start with the fuck-amato who made the fuck sure no one knew he was a twin and also dates the girl that my ex boyfriend cheated on me with...who just so happens to be the fucking twin. what do you have to say for yourself?"

There is a pause between you and him.

"umm....I'm sorry."

"y-your sorry....SORRY YA BROTHER GOT SHOT AND ITS ALL YOUR- you know what here what we're gonna do."

You pull out your phone and you had saved daemin's number.

"you are gonna call oscar and tell him the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and tell him you'll get his lil cousin his money back okay?" Because if not I will..."

"okay, okay, call him."

You call and the phone starts ringing. He picks up.

"hello?"

"hey daemin I have the actual guy you wanted to shoot at and damn near kill"

"word? Who is it then?"

"his twin brother."

"ohhhh shit. Aw damn aye is gray good man I feel like shit he didn't deserve this."

"he's fine but his brother ethan, on the other hand is the guy you should've got, but look since I don't want both of them shot the fuck up he is gonna over there and hand you the money okay?"

"shit alright"

You end the phone call and he sends you the address.

"alright let's go."

-------------------------------------------------

You and Ethan pull up to daemin's house.

"look when we get in here don't say shit give him the fckn money and don't say shit."

"alright alright"

You walk towards the door and knock on it. It's opens and there stands a guy around Ethan's height.

"um hi are you daemin?"

"yea that me, you got my money?"

"oh yea we do, Ethan give it to him"

He pulls 85 dollars out of his pocket

"here you go man, um sorry for-"

The door slammed in our faces.

"umm I guess that it-"

"how's Graysons shoulder?"

"oh it's good it's getting better I gotta get back to him though, he can't do everything by himself."

"alright cool I just wanted to make sure, does he need anything like I got bandages and a first aid."

"oh no no its fine my mom's a nurse I got all the stuff I need thank you though."

"alright bye drive safe"

"okay thank you!"

You and Ethan get back to the car.

Ethan turns to you. "Um he's nicer than expected."

"yea...um okay, I'm gonna take you back home. "

"yup okay sounds cool. "

The drive to Ethan's was awkward and quiet. He still stayed at him and Graysons childhood home. You haven't been there in years.

"well here we are. God it still looks the same."

"yea hasn't changed since the last time you've been here."

You turn to look at him.

"alrighty well- mphm"

Ethan kisses you holding the side of your face.

"I miss you. I do. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve that, I took you for granted. Please give me another chance."

Your in shock to say the least. Staring at him in disbelief.

"...no Ethan."

"what? What do you mean?!"

"I mean no, I'm not going to go back to you I don't feel that way about you. And honestly once a cheater always a cheater, I just can't give myself back to the same person that changed me emotionally, to where it's hard for me to love people as much as I used to. Like what you do if I cheated on you, would you come back to me? And be honest with yourself."

He moves his hand.

"...no"

"exactly...so don't expect me to be the same. Goodbye Ethan."

He gets out and goes inside and you drive back to your place.

-------------------------------------------------

You come back home Grayson in the living room, on the couch.

You sit next to him and talk to him about what happened, he was worried and frustrated at first with the fact that you went but understood it was your life at risk to. A couple of weeks pass, Graysons wound is fixed and you guys are let out for winter break.

Spending time with Grayson made you realize, what you deserved in a relationship, the love, appreciation, affection, loyalty. All of it, you deserved it.

And you got it, you and Graysons infatuation with one another, grew bigger and bigger over winter break. The Christmas vibes, sleeping in onesies and making cookies. Making love next to the fire place, trails of kisses going down both his and your body.

Afterwords..."hey Grayson? Can I ask you something."

"of course beautiful what is it?"

"how would you feel if we went back to school, ya know together?"

"when were we going separately?"

"nooo silly like together, a thing, an "item". We go back in a relationship. If that's something you want?"

"Are fucking joking! Of course I would baby. God, I've been waiting." And with that you finally found the love of your life, whom which in the future you had your two twin daughters with. Inez and Felicity.

You've never been so content.

[in-this-body-of-mine]

To The Bone (2017) - Analysis and Charting

Let’s go! I’m NOT excited because life is hard but what better way to distract myself than to do this kind of shit. No one cares, anyways.

Since this is the first one, let me tell you what we’re gonna do here. I’ll include the IMDB summary, a summary with spoilers, the placements in the chart, we’ll go over each item (also, spoilers abound) and finally my review and final thoughts. Yes, it’s gonna be long. Read at your own risk.

IMDB summary:  A young woman, dealing with anorexia, meets an unconventional doctor who challenges her to face her condition and embrace life.

Summary with spoilers: Lily Collins plays Ellen/Eli and from the start of the movie she is on the brink of her disease. She was just kicked out of a recovery center and she gets an appointment with a ~cool unconventional doctor~ played by Keanu Reeves. She goes into ANOTHER inpatient treatment home to be treated by him. Shit happens, she seems to be getting better somehow, but then she spirals down, runs away, and after a... near death experience (I wish this was an euphemism) she decides to try recovery again and goes back to the treatment home. That’s where the movie ends.

Chart placements!

Now for each item:

White: Ellen or Eli is played by Lily Collins, who once played Sandra Bullock’s daughter in that movie were she was a Karen. It doesn’t get whiter than that.

Female: She changes her name to Eli mid film (which is how I’ll be calling her here bc we respect chosen names in this household) but she still seems to identify as female and be referred to as such, so here we have it. We do have a guy in the treatment home, but we’ll come back to him later.

Teenager/Young adult: I’m pretty sure she is 19 but every review I see says she’s 20. Either way, she dropped out of college even though she just started it. The actress, however, was 28 at the time the movie was released.

Wealthy/seemingly well-off: Her family has the money to send her to inpatient a bunch of times, and they make a point to mention how they have connections so she didn’t have to wait in line to see this new doctor. Case closed.

Skinny actress from the start: As we know, Lily Collins is already thin and she did struggle with anorexia in the past. Why, however, did she lose weight for this movie? They said it was her decision “to make the character more authentic”. As if not being skin and bones wouldn’t be enough. As if eating disorders don’t come in every size. They shouldn’t let her. The need to shock people is a very dangerous sign to me.

No distinctive personality or hobbies/interests: I’m glad Eli has a thing she loves. It’s not super present, but it’s there, and it’s plot relevant. She loves art and in the story, she had a tumblr (look, it’s us!) where she shared drawings related to her ED and a girl liked her drawings so much that, when she killed herself, she mentioned Eli by name in a note. But that isn’t really explored too much and I kind of got disappointed by that.

Good student: We don’t really know about that... and I don’t think it matter, it’s ok.

Seemingly irrelevant love interest: Why? Just why do we need Luke? Luke is the only guy in the home, and we can SEE that he’s only there to be Eli’s love interest. He wasn’t needed. None of the important plot points have anything to do with him. Make her date a girl. Make her date NO ONE. This is about eating disorders. She could have closer friends in the house. Why was this necessary. Her whole speech about how love is a lie could come from a friendship but no. They had to shove pretty white boy there.

Daddy issues (sometimes coupled with mommy issues): I find this extremely funny but her dad isn’t in the movie. At all. He’s alive and well, but he makes a point to never come home when Eli is even awake. I don’t think they cast an actor for that. As for mothers, she has three, and it’s a trip. Her stepmom on her dad’s side is very out of touch but she wants what’s best for Eli, but she really hates Eli’s biological mom. Bio mom, in turn, is described as a “bipolar lesbian” and the stereotypes are just... ugh. Bio mom has a wife and she is a bit weird too. They sent Eli to live with her absent dad bc “they couldn’t deal with it anymore”. This brings us to a great scene where we can see Eli shrinking in her seat and when the psychiatrist asks her what she is feeling she says “I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore. I’m a problem.” And that’s great to see. But at the same time, I hate that her whole issue in this movie seems to come from her family and anorexia is just a thing that happened, with some vague references to control. 

*Triggering event*: We never see it and it’s okay - but I kind of wanted some more explorations of motives because we have ZERO.

Anorexia as diagnosis: As I always say, what is even the point of making a cool looking movie about EDs if your protagonist is not only anorexic, but also terminally anorexic? Ugh. That’s the only portrayal of anorexia that happens in media and I’m fucking tired.

Checklist of habits (manual for those looking for one): I mean, I mark this down but as I always say: everything is a manual if you’re looking for one. But if you’re doing more than not eating or purging or exercising I’ll judge it as a new tip. A lot of us already thought of/did most of them probably. But the marking remains.

Inpatient treatment (or extended hospital stay): As I said, she is kicked out of one treatment center and goes straight into another. What fucks me up is that the movie HAS other characters with other diagnosis, but we never see anything about them. We don’t see their journey. We only know Luke is a dancer bc he is the love interest. We only know Megan is pregnant and then she’s not bc this sends Eli in a spiral. We only know Kendra is not straight bc she makes a joke about it (and Doctor Beckham follows with a horrible joke about conversion therapy). Did you notice Ciara Bravo was in this movie? I didn’t on first viewing. She has like two lines. The whole movie is centered around Eli and every scene in the house feels like all the other patients only care about her too.

Emotional tipping point: Megan loses her baby and for some reason this affects Eli. Luke kisses Eli and for some reason she’s pissed. At that point, I was annoyed. She has a bad session with Doctor Beckham who basically tells her to grow a pair and stop complaining (which is insensitive as a doctor, but as a person I wanted to do the same) and she decides to quit and leave. She has to go to her mother’s home and I’m supposed to care. Stepmom is mad but doctor says she needs to hit rock bottom. She weights like 70 pounds dude. Rock bottom was about ten pounds ago, next stop is a coffin, mate.

Mom hugs: And here we have the emotional turn around of the movie and it’s just... make it make sense. She goes to her bio mom’s ranch. Her stepmom # 2 tells they’ll have therapy with horses (?). Eli goes sleep in a tent and bio mom cries and says she accepts if Eli wants to die. Very supportive I guess. They have this weird bonding moment where the mom feeds her a bottle like a baby and look, if you liked that, good for you, but I don’t get what I was supposed to feel about it (but that’s mom hug #1). She goes on a hike next morning and... dies? Either way she has an out of body experience where she talks to Luke and sees how she looks - which is weird to me. Didn’t we go over this in the beggining of the movie? Didn’t we establish that she does know what she looks like and doesn’t care? But still she seems shocked and they have a cryptical conversation and she wakes up. And just like that, she’s ok now. She meets up with the other stepmom (mom hug # 2) and goes back to the home.

Happy ending: In the last scene Eli is back to the home and we understand she’s going to try to recover for real this time. I’m okay with that specifically, I think it would be bad if they pretended she just got better with no relapses and everything is fine, but it’s a hopeful ending. Despite the fact that we have no idea if she won’t have a fit and leave in two days and that we never know anything about anyone else and Megan, who lost the baby, never comes back. It’s fine. At that point, I didn’t expect much.

Analysis: I was hesitant to be critical bc this movie was based on the real life experiences of the director and Lily Collins. But fuck it, this is my circus and I’ll clown as much as I want. While I do understand that, I have a lot of thoughts.

Mainly, I need to say that while I understand this is her story, this is a story that was told so many times. I’m tired.

The general public that wants to defend the movie says “well you can’t tell ALL stories”, and while I agree, these people probably only saw this movie about the subject. If you HAVE (or had) and eating disorder, you probably saw tons. And they ALL tell the same story. Which is why I started that chart in the first place.

This movie does have good moments. I do like the acting, I saw people complaining about Keanu Reeves performance - but I do know these were people who disliked the movie entirely. I think his performance was great, Lily Collins performance was great, and their chemistry was great. The best scenes in the movie happened between the two of them. The one thing that I LOVED was their first interaction when he calls her on her bullshit. “You’re not thin, you scare people, and I think you like that.” YES. I never heard anyone talk about that. And I guess I’ll never will, bc the movie itself never talk about this again either. Also when she justifies the tumblr where her art triggered a girl so much, she says that she was just drawing what she knows, he calmly tells her that she can draw, but she doesn’t have to share it online tho. I liked their interactions because often ED patients are treated with silk gloves (is that the expression?) and sometimes there is a need for some though love. I also love Liana Liberato who plays her sister and that’s about it.

The problem with the doctor ends up being: what’s his method? How are you going to cure her? The method makes no sense. I don’t see the reasoning. I don’t think anyone does. And somehow it works and she goes back there. 

I think my major problem with the movie is that it has the same issues every ED portrayal before it. It’s the same story again. I think it shines the most in the whole “it’s not about food, it’s about control!”. It IS about food though. For a lot of people, it is. Maybe not for this director or for Lily Collins, but for so many people it is about food. It’s about control as well, and it is possible that there is other factors related to it, but you can’t chalk it all up to a control issue and pretend it’s just whatever. If the food didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be an eating disorder.

Because of that, we have this heavy focus on her family issues and nothing to do with food. We have people trying to rationalize - maybe it’s bc your mom is a lesbian, maybe it’s bc i didn’t bond with you as a baby - and all that does is to make her lesbian bipolar mother seem like a crazy asshole and her dad seem like an absent asshole as if this is the only factor here. Give me SOMETHING. Any connection to food. Any sense. Nope. She just won’t eat bc her family is fucked up. Hoe, that’s all of us.

And I think the movie unintentionally DOES glamourize anorexia. Subtly, yes, but it does. Eli has SUCH an easy time refusing food. She doesn’t seem to think about food as much as she thinks about herself and her family and Luke and being annoying. She knows a bunch of calories and she overexercises. Idk.  Not to mention that moment when Kendra asks her about purging and she says “it’s not her thing”. I mean. It is no one’s thing. No one likes it. It’s a compulsion. And if you have anorexia that severe and you are not with a feeding tube, you do eat every now and then, and you do have purging mechanisms. If she had said she prefers overexercising as a purging mechanism than to throw up, I would believe her. But the movie acts as if she just never eats ever and somehow she’s still standing. Give her a feeding tube then. It would be more believable.

I know it sounds kind of ranty, but my point here is: this extremely anorexic girl, that looks like a sack of bones, and gets that by never eating and doing crunches all the time, it is the wet dream of a fatphobic society with a 71 billion weight loss industry. This is the dreamy and frugal idea of anorexia that people have when they are deep into the illness - not when they recovered as the people involved say they did. I get that this is a very personal project. But it’s flawed. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. It just tells the same story, for the millionth time, but since this time it was in a big platform, more people saw it, and it was better done, with a better budget and with a good enough resolution so I can see every bone in Lily Collins body.

Anyway, that’s it for today. If you read all of that, thanks. Since this is Netflix, I’m assuming everyone saw, but the other movies are out there and if you need liks, hit me up. Be back soon.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Mine ~ Jesperi Kotkaniemi

A/N: Hello this is pure filth. Just smut. I saw this the other day

https://harts-hatricks.tumblr.com/post/190371919312/what-do-you-think-kks-kinks-are-hes-always-so

and I honestly have not stopped thinking about it since. I got so inspired to just write. so welcome to just straight up smut. it gets cute at the end though lol sorry that I am currently obsessed with this adorable boi

warning: smut, sub Kk, handcuffs, anal fingering

enjoy if this is your kind of thing and if not, no worries. My boss decided I was too sick to work at all this week so I have until tuesday off and I have the energy of a fucking broken window so all I’m doing is writing. I have a cute Tyler Seguin story on the way as well as a Nolan Patrick and Matthew Tkachuk. I also have seen requests for more Alex Tuch so I will get on that too.

I’d sat there at our table watching long enough. I had come along to a charity event with Jesperi for the Canadiens. It had been a really nice night, I always loved occasions when I could dress up and I could see him in a suit. He hadn’t been able to keep his hands to himself for most of the night. Once I threatened a punishment though he started behaving himself again. Until now that is.

For the past 15 minutes he had been talking to a group of people and there was a girl being incredibly flirty with him. Twirling her hair, pushing her cleavage together, bending over when she laughed, touching him non stop. She was really pulling out all the stops. I rolled my eyes as she laughed loudly again at something that was most likely not even funny. I got up and made my way over while she was touching his bicep, complimenting him on how he’d bulked up over the off season.

“Lovey, can we go?” I asked sweetly coming up beside him holding his hand.

“(Y/N) why? I thought we were having a good time? I think I still have some press stuff to do..”

“Kk.” I said a little more sternly, making him shut up. “We’re going now.”

“Okay baby.” he gave me a kiss on the head and told the guys I wasn’t feeling well and that he had to go. The girl glared at me but I just smiled while walking past her. We got in the car and drove back in silence. I could tell that he knew something was going to happen when we got home because he was hard while he drove. When we got home he got out of the car and went around the car to open the door for me, something sweet he always did. It usually made me smile but I was in a mood now so I just mumbled a thank you and got out of the car, making my way to the house with Jesperi right behind me.

“Are you okay (Y/N)?” he asked softly.

“Go upstairs and get undressed. I’ll be there in a second.” I said harshly making him gulp and nod before quickly going up the stairs. 

His enthusiasm almost made me laugh. I loved my submissive little Kk. It wasn’t always like this but the times I decided to be dominant with him really made the night that much better for both of us. He loved to be bossed around and I loved to boss him around. Loved the look he got in his eyes when I took care of him. I grabbed a water bottle and made my way upstairs to our room. He was laying on the bed naked, his dick hard resting on his stomach.

“Hi lovely. Look at you all hard and ready for me..you’d never know that just half an hour ago you were being such a bad boy.” I said crawling up the bed towards him. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No I’m good. I wasn’t bad.” he tried reaching out for me but I got off the bed again going to get handcuffs from the box of toys in the closet.

“Bad boys don’t get to touch.” I said clicking the cuffs into place while whispering in his ear. I gave his neck a few kisses while he squirmed under me starting to sweat a little. “It’s really too bad because it would’ve been so nice to have you take me out of this dress but I guess I have to do it myself.”

“Fuck..” he whispered watching the fabric falling down my body leaving me completely naked in front of him.

“Like what you see baby?”

“Yes always.” he whined as I crawled back onto the bed near him.

“I wasn’t wearing panties for you but you never noticed. Too busy being a little slut. Too busy being flirted with by anyone walking past.”

“I didn’t..” he was squirming more as I gripped his dick and blew cold air on it.

“You were bad. Letting other girls touch you while I was sitting there watching.” I started giving his head kitten licks as I spoke. 

“I didn’t mean t- oh fuck!” he cried out as I took most of him into my mouth and started bobbing my head. He thrashed against the cuffs as I kept going. Usually when I sucked his dick he loved to have his hands in my hair and it was toture for him to not be able to reach out and grab me or hold me on him. I kept up my actions and added a hand into the mix massaging his balls. With little to no warning he twitched in my mouth and finished down my throat with a loud moan.

“I think you’re going to need a little reminder of who really owns you..” I said traveling back up his body leaving hickeys as I went up. He let out a little whimper when I wrapped my lips around his nipple. “Use your words baby.”

“Fuck please..(Y/N) please.”

“Please what, lovey?” I asked taking his other nipple in my mouth.

“Please do something..anything.”

“So desperate for me baby. How many times do you think I can get you to cum tonight? Two? Three?” 

“Three. Wanna try three.” he said breathing heavily.

“You sure you can handle it?”

“No but I want to try. Want to be a good boy for you.”

“Such a good boy.” I say quietly leaning up to capture his lips in a searing kiss. It’s all tongue and he let out a content moan into the kiss as I trailed my fingers down his body. “Do you want to fuck me now or do you want that one to be number three?”

“Want to do it now before I’m too tired.. I’ll be too tired after two.”

“I think we’ll see how you are after two.” I said with a wicked smile making him moan.

“I want to make you feel good though too..”

“This isn’t about me feeling good. This is about me reminding you that you’re mine.” I tell him scratching down his chest. “Think you can handle my fingers today baby?”

“(Y/N)..” he moaned while squirming and blushing.

“Words love.”

“I’m embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. I’m not judging you baby. Just wanna make you feel good. Tell me what you want.” I said softly kissing the insides of his legs while bending them around me.

“I-I want..”

“What do you want. Tell me so I know what to do to you baby.”

“Want your fingers.”

“Okay one second, love.” I got up off the bed and he watched me closely as I went back to the closet and came back with lube. I squirted some on my fingers and a little bit on his hole. He clenched and his body tensed up.

“That’s so fucking cold.”

“Sorry Jes.” I said nipping at his soft thighs. “You need to relax though baby. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay sorry. I’m sorry. Just please please touch me.” he whined desperately. I could see his cock was leaking against his stomach and his tip was getting to be a darker shade of red as he got more and more turned on. I didn’t make him wait any longer and I slid one finger past his tight ring of muscles. He let out a content sigh and completely relaxed.

“That’s it baby. Relax. Let me take care of you, give you what you need.”

“I just need you all the time. Please move.”

“I love it when you beg for it. Such a good boy. You always look so good taking my fingers. Always so eager for anything I’ll give you. My good boy.” I leaned up his body and kissed him again while pumping my finger in and out of him.

“Your good boy. All yours.” he moaned out loudly while I sucked a harsh purple mark into his skin. “Can I have more? Please?” 

“Of course you can, love. Good boys get what they ask for.” I slipped another finger in alongside my first and it was a little bit more of a stretch but I knew he liked the feeling by the way his dick twitched on his stomach.

“Please..”

“Baby you’re already so close..think you can cum just on my fingers untouched?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want another finger?”

“Please.” I added a third and started fingering him harder and with more purpose. He was a whining, squirming mess on the bed under me while I left kisses around his face, neck and chest. I met his lips and sped up a little bit more. He broke the kiss to scream, yes literally scream, as he came for a second time all over his own stomach. I kept moving my fingers as his body twitched and he kept whining.

“Incredible baby.” I got up and wiped my fingers on a towel from earlier in the day and wiped the lube off of him too making him flinch since he was so sensitive. “Let’s see if we can get you ready to go again, yeah?”

“O-okay.” he stuttered out still breathing hard. I started licking around his stomach cleaning up the mess he made when he finished on himself before going down to his dick to lick him clean. His legs kept twitching and he kept whining and crying out but I ended up getting him hard again with little effort. I sat back and looked at how desperate he was laying there. His leg muscles kept spasming, his abs were held tight, the way his arms were held up, his swollen angry cock sitting against his stomach again. Everything about him made me realize just how wet I was for him and just how bad I wanted him in me. 

“I’m going to let your hands down now okay baby?”

“I tho-thought I couldn’t touch.”

“You’ve been such a good boy and I’m so so wet for you I want you to fuck me Jesperi. I want you to be on top, think you can do that for me?”

“Yeah. Yeah I can do it.” I unlocked the cuffs and he pulled my body down on his so fast. His hands grabbed at my ass pushing me close to him and his mouth went directly to one of my nipples. I let him do that for a minute before I made him stop.

“Baby as good as that feels I’d just really like you in me right now. I don’t need the foreplay. Feel how wet I am.” he brought one of his hands that gripped my ass down to my lips and whimpered at the feeling. “So how about you just fuck me now okay?”

“Okay.” he said enthusiastically flipping us over making me giggle and him smile. He took himself in his hand guiding himself to me while wincing.

“You okay?”

“Sensitive. It’s a lot.”

“I know. Just one more baby.” I brought his lips down to mine as he pushed into me. He had to take a pause and just breathed in my neck. 

“I’m not gonna last very long at all.”

“That’s okay love.” I said scratching my fingers down his back. “I’m not going to either.”

He hummed into my neck before pulling out and slamming back into me. I had thought he would’ve gone slow because of the overstimulation but he was going fast and kind of rough which I loved. He wrapped his hand around my neck and he didn’t squeeze because that scared him but it was still enough to make me lose it and finish squeezing his cock while he fucked me through it. Only a few seconds later he was also finishing and pulling out of me with a groan and falling over on the bed.

“We didn’t finish together..” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry baby, we could try again if you’re up for 4 orgasms.”

“Don’t even joke about that. I’m dead.”

“Don’t dead come here.” I said holding my arms out to him. He scooted over and his body melted into mine. We were quiet for a minute and I just held him, kissing my head while he calmed down. Once he was calm he shifted up to look at me. “Why so frowny lovey?”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t notice that girl was flirting with me tonight. I would’ve left if I’d noticed.”

“I know you would have baby.”

“Are you upset with me?”

“No Jes of course not.”

“I’m really upset I didn’t notice or do anything to make her stop. I don’t want to ever disrespect you.”

“It’s okay. I know you wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt me.”

“I would never. I love you so much (Y/N).”

“Jesperi..do you mean that?” I asked quietly looking away from his intense eyes. We’d never said ‘i love you’ yet even though I felt it very much.

“Of course I do. What, you think I’d let you put your fingers in my ass just because? Hell no, I’m embarrassed about that shit.” 

“Lovey!” I exclaimed laughing with him. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I think it’s hot.”

“Yeah yeah I know. I really do love you a lot though. That’s why I didn’t notice the girl. You’re the only girl I care to notice and pay attention to.”

“I love you Jesperi. So so much.” I gave him a kiss and smiled at him when he broke it to lay down and yawn. “Do you want to go to sleep now baby?”

“Always. I’m so tired.”

“You did a lot today. You deserve some rest.”

“Will you hold me?”

“Of course I will Kk. Goodnight, love you.”

“Love you.” he mumbled into my shoulder closing his eyes.

[tslasvegas]

Episode 5 - “The clowns are in full force this season” - Jaiden

The clowns are in full force this season. First of all that tribal council was a load of fucking shit lmfao, I could not believe the sob stories Nik and Joey were pulling out to try and stay another day in this fucking org... it is final 17 it's not that serious. I will say that I immediately regretted the decision to vote for Joey but now I'm realizing how beneficial it might've been after all, like.. now people don't see that Joey and I are as closely aligned as we are and it definitely shows Kailyn that not only can I be loyal, but also that I had an accurate read on the events of this tribe. Interestingly enough, Kailyn did NOT believe me when I told her we didn't have the votes to keep Nik without drawing rocks. As soon as the tie came in I acted all mad and said "I'm not drawing rocks for this, I'm flipping". ...and Kailyn still had the nerve to ask "wait did you flip?" after it was all said and done! The funny thing is, Ben also assumed Kailyn flipped and immediately DMed me saying "So I assume Kailyn flipped go figure" or something to that extent. LOVES IT! Maybe no one thinks I'm a flip-flopper after all. Rachael being on this tribe already bugs me because I think she's going to get along with just about everybody and we should've taken a shot at her when we had a chance. It's become evident that I need to start playing the chips game a lot more than I have been because those little buggers are going to become more and more important as time goes along. I think Rachael is fucking full of it when she says there was nothing on Exile for her. She either has an idol and is lying about it, or she's got some sort of advantage to help her out and I'm not here for it. I did eventually come clean to Rachael about the whole DeNara vote thing, where I whipped around and pretended to be voting for Ben afterwards, but I don't think it has a strong impact on our relationship. She gives me such an uneasy vibe and I don't want her around much longer... I kind of hate this tribe I got swapped onto because everybody here feels like legitimate threats to win this game except I guess myself right now. And Xavier. He doesn't really provide much to the game yet, but I bet he will surprise us all along the way. Agenda for this round... make sure we win immunity. But if we don't.. sorry Rachael, you're going to just have to see your buddy Nik a lot sooner than you would've liked. Ciao!

Survived another Tribal!

Super sad to see Nik voted out but also insanely glad to see Joey survived. It would be heartbreaking to see him voted out first after the swap. Livingston and I are sharing all the chips we have and when we spin the wheel we’re transferring chips so if we land on a bankrupt spot we don’t lose the 28 chips we have so far. If we win this next immunity challenge, we may have enough chips to purchase the super idol that’s on sale for 48 chips. (If we both bid two chips on the challenge and then spin the wheel and get some chips.) otherwise, if someone purchases it before we do, we may end up buying some other useful items. Now it’s a selfie scavenger hunt which I hate, but that’s alright. Gonna give it my all and hope to take home the win. 

I just had a moment of clarity. The other tribe are full of OG Palazzo. If they stick together, we're screwed. We should win this next one, see how their vote goes, and change our plans accordingly.

So my lazy ass hasent done any of these yet. So let me catch y’all up. So when my original trive first went to tribal I kinda thought I was fucked cus like I barely talked to ppl. Nik and Rachel were my closest allies (Rachael being my final 2). So quickly they told me denara wanted my ass out. Fucking mistake. So I got my sheep in order and went to work. I pulled some bs outta my ass and was like yo we got a swap coming up and denara is too fucking social she’s gonna flip on your asses. The more I said it the more it made sense to me lol. That fucking tribal was AIDSSS. I’m literally sitting there thinking I was getting booted, but my fucming savior Jaiden came up clutch. We sent that bitch packing. So me and Rachael have had a strat this game to send each other our coins before spinning the wheel to avoid going bankrupt. Since I’m a fucking gambling addict I’m always betting on the comps and spinning that wheel till I’m stacked on coins. So we hit a swap and I actually started talking to people. John is pretty chill and Xavier is kinda weird ngl. When it came time to vote nobody wanted to bring anything up to me. I had to hear from kaitlyn that nik was sadly the vote. So I quickly went to work. I felt the least connected to Joey so I went after his bitch ass. Originally, I didn’t wanna stick with my tribe but like they kinda forced us into that by keeping us in the dark. Everytime I’d ask Xavier his thoughts he’d just say some weird ass response and avoid my question lol. So like I kinda expected a tie vote and tbh I wanted rocks. We get to tribal it was a tie, and I’m fucking trying my best to get Xavier to flip cus he just seems like the dumbest person there. He’s like we can take nik out now then Joey next. LIKE FUCK NO. He wanted to create an all noobies alliance with idek. But I agreed cus fuck it. So sadly nik went home cus jaiden flipped :/ BUT me and Rachael got all his chips!! Now I’m fucking vibing with 10, and Rachael had got 8. Tbh we wanna save up for an idol, but with the shop at 20% and another 4-4 vote looming, I’d be down to snag an extra vote. I gotta peep all these new prices tho. I do hope we win this comp cus I’m obviously betting and I’m too lazy to fucking deal with another tribal. Well anyways peace out see y’all later. 

My plan continues to just be working on relationships and hopefully winning the challenges. Either way, I've participated one of the most on the team so I'm hoping if we do lose, I won't become the target. I know I have a strong relationship with Kevin, which is 1/4 of the tribe. I'm also working on my relationships with Keegan, Pat, and Livingston. I kind of hope the other team targets Rachael, just because I wasn't a huge fan the last time I had to deal with her. I also want John and Xavier to survive because I know I have solid relationships with them. We're at day 14 and I've already put so much work to evolve my game, I want to go from worst to first - I want to do all the things I couldn't do when I was 16. But I have to keep thinking three steps ahead. So if we lose, my target is Mo. Nobody from OG Pink has been voted out yet - but because they have majority on this tribe there really isn't much I can do yet, but Mo hasn't contributed to the challenge. They're also very awkward, so I think I'd be able to swing it. If I keep working on my relationships, working hard in challenges and showing myself as a good ally - I have a chance to make it deep in this game. For now - let's hope we win the challenge so I can relax a little bit more. Day 15 is the farthest I've ever made it so if we do end up winning I've completed my third goal. (The first two being going a tribal without getting a vote, and leading a blindside.) My other four goals - getting an advantage, making merge, winning individual immunity, and winning this game. Get your checklist out, cause I'm coming.

Keegs and I have 28 chips between us then Okay so I told Keegan this, and I could be wrong, but I feel as if the numbers in the vault seem fairly good and that leads me to believe that nothing has been bought yet. If anyone else gotten in there, they are likely saving up for the Super Idol. Keegan and I will be saving up for it but if it ends up being gone, we'll at least have enough chips to pick up some other stuff. Keegan to me: "Also, I just thought of something. Since it’s possible to go Bankrupt from the wheel, would it be a good idea for us to give most/all chips to each other before we spin the wheel? That way if we do land on a bad spot, we’re only losing like 1 chip instead of the 10-20?" This gonna be our wheel strat moving forward

...five seconds later

Jake came to me wanting to work together. Of course, there is no real way to turn such things down so I let Keegs know and then I told him I would be down for that. I am not tryna do some Final 2 or whatever. For now it is just a "I have your back if you have mine" type thing. Jake also went to Keegan so Jake better not fuck up and be overly messy because I have enjoyed my convos w him LMAO - Okay so update on that: he has pitched a 3 of me, him and Keegan. This is good for us so we are going with it but my loyalties are to Keegan before Jake and I think Keegan feels the same way. We are being hesitant just in case Jake has also pitched similar things to other people. If we go to tribal, ideally we keep Jake safe but if he's being like this with everyone then maybe he's the one to go. I like Jake so I would really make rather it be the former.

So nervous about this challenge! We went all in! I even danced Blackpink. My gosh we have to win this.

fuck

38 points in SSH is a terrible score, I’m upset at my poor performance, but now that I just acquired the Legacy Advantage, it makes my game so much more interesting to say the least. I have 11 chips, I could’ve bought an idol, but given my luck, I’d rather not risk all my chips and lose them on a bankrupt.

this is so lame, im not super worried about getting voted out but still i just like the serene environment that comes with immunity, the chaos is fun too but like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im tired 

Well... we lost the challenge. And I am not surprised in the slightest. This was a very very poor showing from this tribe. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind voting out Jeff right now. He really flopped the challenge. But it seems like the OG Palazzo group is wanting to stick together and vote out one of Jake, Mo or Kevin. Ideally, Kevin would be the one to go. I’ve barely talked with him, and with his recent win in Travellers survivor, he’s certainly capable of playing a strong game. That’s someone I’d like out sooner rather than later. Andrew has suggested Jake. Which I definitely don’t want. Jake, Livingston and myself have a sort of three person thing going on. As long as Jake is casting his net over the entire tribe, I want to continue working with him. Mo is in a weird spot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ At the end of the day though, I don’t really care who it is, as long as it ain’t me.

SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY WON! Steph and I have enough chips either for an IDOL or two of other advantages. I would rather have two others, because there is an idol nullifier out there. And two advantages are better than one. I am going to be watching the tribal of Bellagio. I want to see if the OG Bellagio are a solid 5.

Ahhhh first time going to tribal. I’m really nervous. Not bec I think I’m in danger but more for long term... what to do?

girl... im so sick and tired of the people in this game keeping around inactive players because they know them from other games. SERIOUSLY, listen ma'am if my good friend is inactive, I know when someones dead weight. I get rid of them. They'll understand, and if they don't then thats a manipulative dumbass because who gets mad for being eliminated by a friend when they were inactive. it was originally gonna be me but ive been fucking pushing for kevin to go cus he doesnt do shit. DeNara give me strength.

Mo at one point was throwing my name out, which is awful. Apparently he’s not anymore. I think he’s voting for Kevin? Let’s hope so. I don’t want to be out of this game yet.

Currently holding that Legacy Advantage gives me much more access to information

[01010010-posts]

— swear you're not gonna replace me.

requests: since your clothes shopping request i’ve been thinking of what if the boys s/o did go shopping for technology like i wanna see them get jealous of a damn roomba sksksk

Hi, I really love your work. It's so amazing! I was wondering if you could do one where the reader has a robotic pet. Something obviously not sentient, like a mechanical animal or maybe something clearly robotic like a cute spider robot that climbs and hops around.

How about the RKs reacting to their s/o who cares for animals (both android and real) to the point that strays follow them and just sees them as a parent that they need to protecc? ~Feather (Btw, your blog is a m a z I n g)

For the 3 bois: Reader doesn't know what to get her s/o as a birthday gift. So she impulse buys a pet that she thinks matches the personality of her s/o (EX: Connor = Corgi and RK900 = Banded Sea Krait. These examples don't have to be the pets, pick whatever you want.) The bois react to it, keep it, and forms a relationship with it (Whether adoring, salty, etc. you decide.)

RK900 really is THAT man huh im also having an existential crisis so im sorry if i lumped these requests together thought they would be qt

Connor:

• he thinks he can do it • he thinks he’s prepared • he’s an adult he’s mature enough • actually he’s not but nvm • besides isn’t it the same as when Hank calls his car “baby” when it’s throwing a ‘tantrum’? yeah it’s prob the same he can FUCKING do it • “do we,,,, really need a fridge that can speak? don’t humans hate that kind of odd thing? for examples, 1998’s Furbies are–�� • “.......... listen, love, for the last time. it’s just a fridge!” • “BUT it can speak! can we.... I don’t know, buy another model?” • “gosh, we’ve rehearsed this conversation, baby, no. it’s the last they’ve got in stock and we don’t have much money, plus i can’t order one and wait a week, food’ll go bad otherwise” • “but it can speak....” it’s the only feeble lament that comes out of connor’s mouth before propping his head against the passenger’s seat, visibly worried • “it will just say a couple of lines like ‘ice is ready beep beep’, don’t think about it too much, okay?” • it’s already weird you have to reassure him about this topic • ok you love connor & you might be an androidfucker but it doesn’t MEAN you’re going to start a romantic story with a fridge! • what has your life come to if you’re having such thoughts • “I can say ‘ice is ready’ too!” • you bet he can say beep beep too • “.... i know and i love you for that, honey, but you can’t keep my yogurt cool” • “can,,, try?” • softly “don’t.”

RK900:

• “look, i think it matches your personality”  • “.... babe it’s a roomba” • “i know right? you just already have so much in common!” • “BABY” • “oh don’t worry! it’s deviant!” • he’s,,,, going to collapse there and then • “why did you even gift me something like this” • “why? because you’re always doing chores and, although you can’t be physically tired, you deserve to at least not spend time sweeping the floor” • OK that was a nice thing to say but you’re NOT getting away so EASILY • “but I like doing them!” • “.... you do?” • “yeah, I mean– they’re relaxing, I don’t mind doing them” • you adjust your position on the couch and smirk, but to him it appears as a kind smile “now you’re saying that because you’re jealous of a roomba taking your place as the only android in this house but no one likes doing chores trust me” • “no, no, no– you trust me. I do like them, in fact I love them! folding, sweeping, wiping, washing, all of these repetitive gestures, they’re calming and– and.... and not to mention that doing them for you.... I love that too, I love laundering your clothes because you’re so cute when you’re happy about putting on a pretty outfit or– or I love cooking for you, because you eat with so much content that I–” • he becomes aware of how his soliloquy is affecting you as soon as his eyes lands on your face • and he stops • and he blushes, i’m not joking, he blushes HARD • and he fakely clears his throat  • “come here” you whisper, moving your index back and forth • he steps closer, then slowly leans onto your features “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–” • “shh” you silence him with a kiss, holding his collar with your fingers “sorry about what? that was lovely af” • he chuckles, lighter, relieved because of your sweet moment • “now, I don’t really find any use in me adhering to human customs and having a birthday but– how to say.... next time we’ll choose my gift together? couple technology shopping? if you’re okay with such request” • he adores you so much he could even accept an eternity of ugly weird gifts if that pleases you GOSH THIS MAN!!!! • “.... you’re a dumb baby but i love you especially because of this” • “excuse me what do you–” • “that was not your real birthday gift don’t worry, it was a joke!” • “I swear I’m” • good thing his real birthday gift is something else /winkwink • yeah im,,,, talking about cuddles and a red&white sweater 

RK800-60:

• it was a pretty strange series of events, really, that lead to adopting a cute little mechanical bird • the main one was that he found it on a road’s corner, ‘wounded’, and didn’t have the ‘heart’ in him to ignore such pitiful thing and its cries for help, because, certainly he hadn’t been denied ‘help’ either when he was in a similar situation • he decided, of course, that it was his ‘mission’ to repair it • and he put the utmost care in the process • because of this reason, well, he naïvely & humanly thought that the tiny creature would have been somewhat grateful to him, maybe worshipping his figure if not as a god but as a caretaker • probably because that’s what happened to him but • but his expectations are surely not met when the chirping friend behave as.... an android • in all honesty it’s a bit discouraging • but he’s not given the opportunity to explore this worry as his ‘new’ ‘emotions’ takes most of his thinking hardware • “I’m not jealous at all, it’s just that he follows you everywhere! I can’t believe it!” • “yep. that sounds like something a jealous person would say” you attempt your best at hiding the giggling growing on your mouth, your ‘pet’ placidly resting on your right shoulder • “okay maybe I’m jealous. an insignificant amount tho” he pouts, leaning to see what you’re cooking by using his left hand as a lever • he’s probably also looking at you but that’s a secret well kept • “you shouldn’t be, love.” you joke, giving him a wink but still not facing his side until you’re ready to continue speaking “i mean, i only have eyes for you” • he chuckles, unable to contain his usual playful attitude, especially when he’s with you  • “oh but it’s not you who I’m jealous about!” • mh? you ponder a moment, smiling “ahh so this baby chick is the sole object of your attention! woe is me!” • he can’t help but laugh along with you and place a kiss on your cheek • and then one on the tiny chirping child’s tiny head

[moony-jamie]

Okay long post that may or may not be shorter than expected but here we go. (I just wrote everything and it's pretty long, I think)

This will mostly be about things that happened in the past few weeks that made me emotional? Kinda? Stuff I want to talk about aka screaming it into the void that tumblr is. (Apparently it's mostly about football and my exams)

I'll put it under a keep reading thing, hopefully it works.

Okay where do I start?

I feel like I spend more time being emotional about football than worrying about my finals. Magdeburg was involved most of the time but also football that shares one braincell and the DFB hasn't seen it in a long time.

But let's start at the beginning.

On the 8th of May 46 years ago Magdeburg won the Cup Winners' Cup. Since it looked like the season will be cancelled and Magdeburg could go into a financial crisis, the fans organised a fundraising event in which they sold tickets for an imaginary trip to Rotterdam to win the cup a second time. This started around the 5th of April and went on for a month.

Obviously I got a ticket too and spend a whole week basically camping in front of my mailbox waiting for it. It took five days and I cried when it came.

It's beautiful, I love it a lot, one of my favourite players singed it, I'm in love.

They even managed to show the game in a re-live so that's the story how I screamed and cried after my English exam because we won the cup (again).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qBL15JPO4g

And well then this video made me cry again and I feel like I spend more time crying over Magdeburg than actually studying for the exams but it's time well spend I guess.

(And no we didn't actually went to Rotterdam it was all imagination but it was great anyway)

During all of this Magdeburg desperately tried to get Milan's attention (for a possible rematch in four years for the 50th anniversary) by tweeting at them in badly translated Italian. Honestly that club is as dumb as I am and I love them a lot.

Apart from that football was all about pain the past weeks, starting with the fact that I can't scream my emotions out during football games? Like idk if it's a good coping mechanism or not but screaming for 90 minutes straight always helped me a lot.

Now I'm really mad that the DFB decided to start Bundesliga behind closed doors because first of all the Bundesliga is nothing without it's fans. Second, ending the season early would be the better option but well I told myself to calm so I will do calm.

BUT THEN they won't stop arguing about the 3. Liga and honestly I'm done with this shit. At least Magdeburg is the club with the braincells and said they want to end the season (I guess I chose the right club to stan).

The thing is Magdeburg isn't legally allowed to train or even play here in Saxony Anhalt but well apparently the DFB doesn't care and is now pressuring the politics into either allowing them to play or they will take away Magdeburg's (and Halle's) license and honestly that is so fucked up I can't believe it's actually happening.

Football, what a fun sport to stan :)

Enough about football tho, lets get into the important stuff. Or well the reason I actually took a break from tumblr.

My exams went surprisingly well despite the fact that I had to stop studying at some point because it just stressed me out.

It all started off with my Chemistry exam which was pretty easy. Besides my business administration exam it was the one that stressed me out a lot because I almost failed the mock exam and I just had a bad feeling overall.

But then I saw the tasks and everything was so easy?? Of course I started stressing again because I was finished with still an hour to go but then my classmate told me that she saw the teacher grading it and I had a lot of points already and?? I was so relieved?? Honestly I could've cried.

My English exam was the next one, two days after Chemistry.

There are two main parts in this one. The first one is the listening comprehension (nightmare of every German student) the second one is the written part.

In my school we have one room that has a very good acoustic in which the listening part wouldn't be a problem but due to Corona they talked about closing it because it might be unfair when it couldn't be used for everyone that wrote the more difficult exam (I not in the mood to explain the whole system right now but if you want to know more about it dm me).

Thursday I wrote my English teacher if she knows how it's planned right now and she confirmed that they will be using this room and that I will be in this room for the listening part. That was the first time I actually cried because of my exams.

Now English wasn't particularly bad but I have a weird feeling about it. We will see once I'll get the results.

My German exam was the next one and just like with the English exam I have a weird feeling but we'll have to see.

I got good results in both of my mocks so hopefully it will be fine.

The last one was my business administration exam and oh boy. I was stressing so much, I couldn't look at my notes without having a breakdown and it was bad, really bad.

I was praying for marketing to be a big part but of course my prayers weren't heard and there wasn't a single sign of it at all.

BUT luckily the main part of the exam was easy. Well not too easy but it was a topic where I didn't think they would make it the main part but they did. It was about loans.

Well we better don't talk about the rest of it but if my calculations are right I should get the required points.

I really don't want to get hopes up but I'm pretty sure I made it.

There is one exam left still but it will be some time around June and hopefully pretty easy so I'm not stressing too much right now.

Now that I finished the hardest part I hate how everyone was stressing me even more. People basically tell you that if you don't start studying months and months in advance you won't make it but?? No, it's not that.

I can't speak for other exams of course because well maybe we had a Corona bonus or whatever but I don't think so.

It really seems to be easy (at least for all the nightmare stories I always heard).

Also wtf F1? I walk out of my German exam and see that Vettel left Ferrari. Got my crying the whole day because well I don't mind him leaving Ferrari as much as I mind should he retire. I really don't want that.

And then I walk out of the business exam and they announce Carlos to Ferrari and Dan to McLaren. As if I wasn't emotional enough, F1 really decided to play with my feelings here huh.

But what else happened except for football and exams?

Well I walked my dog every day and saw all kind of animals during so. I don't know if it was because there were less people outside or just because we have a lot of fields and forests in general but it was pretty cool.

We saw rabbits, foxes, deers and even a snake (I only saw a wild snake once in my life so that's pretty cool)

Also managed to took a (bad) picture of a deer, isn't he cute?

Also a week ago my mom convinced me to buy a bunch of guppies for our tank and ever since we got them my betta got herself a goth girlfriend and I'm??? So soft??? For my gay fish??

They're very shy tho and I didn't manage to get a good picture of them yet but it's really cute. They're always hanging around each other.

Last week I was also able to go to the stable again since Jody isn't actually my horse and they only allowed owners on the property to stop the people from taking riding lessons.

This picture is from today, I wanted to take pictures in this field ever since I missed it last year and most of the flowers stopped blooming back then.

But I was able to go back and can go there again now that I have some free time and I'm just so happy.

Unfortunately now they aren't in full bloom either because we missed it again (thanks Corona 🙃) but the picture is nice enough so I don't mind too much.

By now I can't really think of anything else that happened.

As I said I'm now working on my Fanfiction. In theory I wanted it to be done by the end of May but I don't think I will make it but I'm not stressing myself with it either. Every chapter is more or less plotted so I hope writing will go by a little easier.

I don't know how many people actually read it until this point but if you did, thanks 💙

I'm just happy that I got all of it of my chest now since I wanted to talk about all this but I was getting tired to annoy my mom with it.

[himbohargreeves]

hallo here are the hc's i whipped up for the teacher au!! i'm sorry this turned into an essay i'm just a dumbass who loves soft teacher au a lot!!

“not sure what the others would teach in this teacher au tho-” *wakes up in the dead of night with cold sweat* *kicks down the door* I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS!!

oh boy…get ready….cause it’s A LOT

- Submitted by @katgreeves

luther: physics teacher, cause you know…spaceboy……everyone is scared at the beginning of the year when they get him as a teacher cause he’s TALL AND HUGE AS FUUUUUCK, but then fast forward two months later and everyone is chill because turns out he’s a really easygoing and soft teacher…just really socially awkward and lowkey dumb sometimes

asshole kids in his classes use his softness to his disadvantage and pull pranks on him constantly, poor guy….the other kids tho always tell them to shove it tho because he may be soft and dumb and socially awkward but he’S OUR SOFT AND DUMB AND SOCIALLY AWKWARD TEACHER DON’T TOUCH HIM!! the first time they protected him he had to remind himself not to tear up because HE FELT SO LOVED!!!! 

he gets them snacks even if they’re not supposed in the science classrooms because “eXPeriMENts and CHEmIcALsSsSsssSS!!!” and will rant for hours about space and starts and THE MOOOOON cause when he was a kid he always wanted to be an astronaut ( :’))))))) ) and his kids get fed up one day and go “why don’t you just make an astrology club mr luther????” and he does and IT’S A REAL SUCCESS WITH THE SCHOOL BODY YAY!!!

(five when he grows up also becomes a physics teacher and pesters luther all the time like “I AM 10 TIMES THE TEACHER YOU EVER WERE-” “NO YOU AREN’T STFU” and he’s technically wrong and right because material wise??? yes he’s 100% the better teacher and he always has answers to the kids questions and teaches them extra content cause he’s always been a genius but as a physics teacher that kids really like????? no siree that title goes to luther because he was a soft teddy bear to his students and they trusted him while five is eccentric and strict the the point where his kids are scared the FUCK out of him)

diego: pe teacher, SWEARS SO MUCH IN FRONT OF THE KIDS IN CLASS OMG HOW IS HE NOT FIRED YET?? is tough on the kids sometimes so push harder but IS ALSO SOFT AND REALLY ENCOURAGING THE KIDS TO WORK AND TRY THEIR BEST BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN THEM!!! (except for the group of cocky assholes he’ll get in every class and don’t want to listen to them…he has personally removed their rights in the class)

whenever the self-defense unit comes around he’s sooooo dedicated to it and makes sure that the kids master everything to a t, cause who knows when it might come in handy??? he wants to make sure that the kids know how to protect themselves as the world is a shitty place and you never know when shit will go bad (except he does…he’s had enough bullshit and scared happen to him and has gotten involved in so many fights that he wants to make sure that the kids won’t hurt like him :“’))))))))) ) 

he’s a secret softie that will protect the kind kids that are not as good at pe and get bullied by the cocky assholes in the class becAUSE THAT’S JUST WHAT HE WOULD DO NO IM NOT SELF PROJECTING OF WHAT I WANTED OUT OF MY PE TEACHERS SHUT U-

also eudora is a pe teacher and the two of them are very competitive to be the best pe teacher and this rivalry turns into playful flirting and big ass crushes that they’re way too stubborn to admit, the entire school still ships it anyways (the entire school also ships klaus and dave because gay rights!!!!!)

allison: either school counselor or principal i can’t decide because she can be super kind and open to talk and gives advice that helps a LOT but she’s also a hbic THAT CAN AND WILL run the place. 

anyways, whatever job she has, she also helps with the drama club and school plays, and literally every year the theatre kids BEG HER to kick out the current drama teachers and replace them because allison>>>>>>>>>>>> all of the existing drama teachers there  

ben: is either a literature or philosophy teacher. super smart and knowledgable but is also really laid back and fun to talk to. he’s got a dark and snarky sense of humor and his students always have sass battles with him. the number of INSANE inside jokes his students and him share is HUGE.

HE DEMANDS THAT HIS STUDENTS PARTAKE IN READING TIME IN THE BEGINNING OF CLASS NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO BECAUSE READING IN AN IMPORTANT SKILL AND HOBBY FOR DEVELOPMENT AS A READER, WRITER, LEARNER, AND OVERALL PERSON AND NO AMY DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME I’M THE TEACHER HERE AND I SAID NO ELECTRONICS SO PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AN-

anyways…he is really considerate to what students need and makes them as relaxed as possible because school is HELL. students LOOOOOVE HIM. HE’S THE ONE TEACHER BESIDES DAVE THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE LIKES. (highkey inspired by my philosophy and lit teachers because they’re also really smart but sassy and cool like ben and I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT)

vanya: strings orchestra teacher for obvious reasons. she was real shy at first when she first got hired but the the strings department at that time was soooo small and crappy that she went “oh HELL no,” rolled up her sleeves, and set to revitalize it just because she cares about music so much.

she recruited more students, got more advanced music so the kids could feel a challenge and be motivated to improve, and collaborated with the choir and band departments to provide more clubs, events and opportunities outside of class for kids to do music.

she is a no business type of teacher when it comes to arrogant people that put other players down or people who don’t practice and goof around and will snap at them SO HARD because everyone needs to be at their a game for a concert and in an orchestra no single person is bigger that the collective. she’s however SOOOO SOFT with really soft playing and shy kids because she understands how it feels when you think your playing isn’t good enough, so gives them extra help, gives them solo lines or solos to play so they gain more confidence in themselves, all while constantly giving encouraging words about how much they’ve improved that always makes them feel better and more motivated to improve.

she’s an absolute anxious and cranky maniac a week before the concert but she throws parties with food, drinks, and games afterwards to celebrate with her kids. she constantly gets them to play music related games and challenges that they do as a class for team bonding to make things more entertaining in class. she makes dumb music puns a lot too! 

she also will in the class say crazy stories of her childhood and the crazy shit she and her siblings did and then somehow always relate it back to the lesson and make it some sage advice…the kids never understand how she does it

(me???? self projecting more of my teachers into this au cause they’re cool??? more likely than you think)

also one day she chops her hair real short and cute and the conversation with her students basically went like this:

students: miss vanya you cut your hair???

vanya: yes kids I’m a lesbian

students: !!!!!!!!!!!!

vanya: ;))))))))

students: MISS VANYA SAID GAY RIGHTS!!!!

vanya: HELL YE I DID!!!

bonus grace yayyyy!!!!!: is the school nurse…she’s so sweet, so soft….has precisely whatever people need when they feel sick/injured…helps them calm down in they’re freaking out…always has a couple of beds in the nurse’s office so people can lie if they feel dizzy…gives out candy/sweets/food to people so they feel better!!

diego meets her a lot because a lot of kids in his class gets injuries and he takes them to the nurse and he jUST LOVES HER SM!!! INSTANT MOM FIGURE!! THEY TALK AND JOKE AND LAUGH TOGETHER AND GRACE WILL ALWAYS GIVE HIM A PASTRY SHE MADE WHENEVER HE COMES BY AND HE JUST IS SO SOFT AROUND HER ITS GREAT (his students find his sudden change in his demeanour amusing “hey mr diego is nurse grace your MMMmoooOoOooOOOmMMMMMMmmmmmM??” “kid your a good one but say that shit to me one more time and I will beat the sh-”)

she always has a smile on her and everyone LOVES HER…..except for the administration that always want to get her fired because they are assholes and they think she’s too weird to stay. however, every time they try to fire her, a certain teacher comes by the office for what they claim is a civil discussion...and after an hour of yelling, death threats, and the door getting 10 knife marks they go “you know what grace…you can stay" 

those assholes are persistant though, and one time though not even a certain teacher could get them away from firing her so once the news breaks out that nurse grace is leaving the whole school is FURIOUS and throws a 1 week riot and the administration get so scared and tired that they just go "OK WERE SORRY JUST KIDDIN- OK OK SHE’S STAYING FOR GOOD JESUS”

grace is so grateful that she makes a whole bunch of cake for everyone and everyone with tears in their eyes just goes “this…is why we love you sm nurse mom”

~~okkkieee that’s the end of it sorry it’s a literal essay I just got very passionate about this au lmao rip!!! I’m slowly tempted to write a fic about it even though i’ve never written a fic before in my LIFE and I already have like 3 other au fic ideas in my head already smh

[subtext-bycalvinklein]

[you have probably already seen the first half of this because I am dumb and I posted it without making sure it was saved in full. I apparently am REALLY bad at making Tumblr work. Not that I am surprised by that, but still.]

Hi, I know, long time no see, I’m still a tinhat-wearing garbage-can who has no idea how to properly use Tumblr and English still isn’t my first language so kindly forgive any mistakes, but I’ve been on a good omens lockdown for the past two months and unfortunately I have Big Thinky Thoughts

The point is- book!Aziraphale&Crowley are very different from TV!Aziraphale and Crowley. But not in the sense that they’re different characters: they are the very same characters you see in the book, it’s just… They act differently. I’ve spent the last fortnight turning in bed, asking myself WHAT made them feel so different from the book and WHY it was. And then it hit me: the TV show characters operate under a system of beliefs that the book characters have already overcome. This makes sense, because while the book characters to me feel more settled and “static”, in the same way two old dudes who are just waiting for retirement have already grown into their skin and mostly know who they are, TV!A&C feel a lot younger to me, and we have the pleasure of watching their character as they develop, as they become more and more aware of who they are and what they want. Because THAT ultimately is the point: neither of them is really, completely AWARE of the point they’ve “gone native” up until the last episode.

I think it’s way easier to see in Aziraphale: in the book, he doesn’t shy away from bad deeds, he seems to acknowledge his “”“moral greyness”“” and the fact that his loyalty to Crowley overrides his loyalty to heaven -and that this isn’t something he is supposed to do, but his loyalty to the Arrangement is way more profound than his acquiescence towards heaven. His identity is not just formed around the fact that he is an angel: that’s just part of it, and that’s what makes it easier for him to be aware of his “bit of a bastard”. It doesn’t come as a surprise, for him, just as the spark of goodness isn’t surprising for Crowley. It’s just something they avoided talking about because, well, if anyone else had heard them, it wouldn’t have ended well. (But we’ll come back to this later on.) TV!Aziraphale, instead, seems to base almost all of his identity (what he consciously decides it’s his identity) solely on the fact that he is an angel: he HAS to be good, he HAS to do what is right. All those things he does that he knows are frowned upon in Heaven are quickly discarded, considered outliers, because they cause such great cognitive dissonance he cannot bear it. At first, he seems to be starting to question the Great Plan, but around the time Crowley comes asking for the holy water¹, he seems to realise fully how dangerous everything they’re doing is, and sweeps all of his doubts under a big, heavy rug of denial. Because it’s either that, or being wiped off the face of the Earth (and the whole creation) or completely losing his identity by Falling (because he wouldn’t be an angel anymore, and he’s based on this facet of himself like 99% of his identity), which is A Huge Effing Deal, especially since it’s the narrative of himself he’s been building for almost six millennia. So, Aziraphale has put in place a system of beliefs which says: God created Angels. God is perfect, and since The Almighty created Angels to be good, they are good. Therefore, I am Good, and I cannot be anything else. Does this take into account that “Good” is a broad definition that changes with the point of view? Nope. It doesn’t take into account, either, the fact that Heaven and Hell are, in truth, just names for sides, and not that different at all. Another mistake Aziraphale does it’s an attributional error: he thinks that everything good he does it’s because he’s an angel, and therefore supposed to be good, and expects other angels to be like him, when often it’s really Aziraphale *as an individual* who does Good Deeds.

Belief systems aren’t inherently Bad: they give us fixed points² in the sea of change, and it’s vital for us to have them. Belief systems become Bad the moment they don't serve their purpose anymore: that is, when instead of being helpful, they hold you back from understanding, from exploring possibilities. And that's what happens to Aziraphale and, to some extent, Crowley: they both cling to their beliefs even tho they're shown time and time again that what they think it's wrong, and they choose to cling to them because the alternative is to float in the sea of the unknown.

It is only once Aziraphale confronts the falseness of his beliefs (the moment he faces the Angels and they tell him they won't prevent the Apocalypse) that he is able, once and for all, to eradicate his belief system and integrate in a new sense of Self all of those traits he usually denied about himself.

What about Crowley, then? His belief system looks a liiittle bit more grounded in reality... Except not really. While, yes, he seems less bound to Hell, and justly distrustful, he doesn't fare all that better. It's just more tricky to recognise, because it's more about Crowley himself than it is about heaven or hell.

Book!Crowley, since the beginning, is literally a very tired, very old, very uncool entity who is just waiting to retire from a job he hates to spend his time tending to his plants and doting on his adversary-slash-bestfriend-slash-husband. He is pretty much aware of the fact that, while he loves mischief, he doesn't like actively harming anyone, is really repulsed by the idea of hurting deeply someone. He knows this, and knows Aziraphale knows this. He just doesn't like stating it out in the open because he is a paranoid bastard afraid anyone will overhear them -and rightly so, I might add, because, as stated beforehand, there will be Consequences. When Aziraphale tells him he is, after all, nice, he's resigned, because being nice doesn't make being a demon very easy. But that trait is already stark clear in his Self-image, and he acts accordingly.

TV!Crowley, tho? The moment he is dubbed "nice" literally explodes in anger.

This is not about "telling the whole blessed world", this is about Crowley not having the faintest idea he has the spark of goodness inside himself. He has convinced himself that since he Fell, since he is a demon, he must be Bad. And this, imho, is reflected in the way he takes credit for the Really Bad Stuff humans have done, as well: he is trying so bad to uphold the image of a Big Bad Demon, he tries to rejoice when people do bad stuff, even though it's clear he doesn't like it one bit.

And that's because if his and Aziraphale's belief system have one thing in common, is their trust in God: if the Almighty cast him out of heaven, there must have been a reason, and that reason is that, deep down, he isn't good. Crowley's self image is built all around that, as much as his acts of kindness probably end up mislabeled as selfishness³. And that is because he cannot accept that his Fall, something that still plagues him after six millennia, that has left him with such a scar that his plants take the brunt of it, was just over "asking questions". The punishment doesn't fit the "crime", and it's difficult, if not impossible, for the human, or occult, or ethereal mind to accept that sometimes events so painful happen for no reason.

It's imperative, then, for the dismantling of his disfunctional belief system, that he confronts the truth: there is very little inherently Evil within himself. And that moment occurs when a desperate Crowley talks to God Herself (Themselves? I'm not sure if the Almighty uses they/them or she/her, sorry) and admits that the only wrong thing he did was asking questions. From then on, he slowly becomes able to face his own spark of goodness, to admit it in his own Self-image.

In conclusion: while it makes sense that the book characters had their moment of acknowledgement in the middle of the action, as it's a truth they already knew from the beginning and, since they were about to face Consequences anyway, they might as well voice it aloud, it is just as apt for the TV characters to say it at the very end of the story, because for them it's a starting point to the rest of their existences: they finally fully know who they are and what they want, and they will start the rest of the journey with that knowledge.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, some of the swearing is censored not because I disapprove of it but because I don't want Tumblr to decide it shouldn't be posted in the tag and, as we've previously established, I'm really bad at this.

Footnotes and be thankful this is just the work of an evening of procrastination because I'm known for "making metas that require a bibliography" but I didn't have the time to check my social psy books

1: I might expand on this someday, but I actually have Thoughts on the whole "Aziraphale Being An Heaven-Abiding Angel" thing, and how it heavily relates to Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic; the holy water break-up in the 19th century seemed a good milestone for the moment

2. Yes, I was thinking of the whole "fixed point in a changing age" thing from His last bow, and yes, my eyes got misty while writing it and I don't have any allergies to blame it onto. My brain is an attic and it's full of ACD Canon quotes and by this point I couldn't get rid of them if I wanted to.

3. This is heavy tinhatting but I honestly feel like he often tries to pass off his kindness as "I like this and I want this so I have to do something". The clearest example is: he feels that the whole world shouldn't be destroyed because it's unfair? Surely it's just because he likes living here, not because he cares, pfffftttttt

*saunters vaguely back to studying*

[comicteaparty]

March 14th-March 20th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from March 14th, 2020 to March 20th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How do you react to readers predicting your plot twists?

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Depends when they do. A page or two before it happens? Both of us get to feel clever. Yay! Months ahead? Well, obviously the thing I thought a a big twist ain't it, so I get to decide what other thing to focus on. I usually don't change the plot on reader predictions, but I can always change how a twist is presented from "Big surprise! Bet you didn't expect that" to "Well, ain't it neat to FINALLY have confirmation about that thing?"

Funnily, the best plottwist I ever wrote was in my now defunct comic. I thought it was obvious, but my few readers went "WOAH, didn't see THAT coming." So these days I try to just write the story and let the twists fall where they may.

Pistashi

ASDFPHIaewpf a friend of mine was reading my comic and he was making a lot of theories, a bunch of them was way off but he managed to be 100% accurate about one of his theories and I just started laughing nervously when he talked to me about it before it happened in the comic. This was years ago and the thing already happened and it's not a big deal anymore, but at the time I felt proud to write something that was obscure enough to not be on the reader's face but at the same time having someone figure it out after connecting the dots

I have little twists that happen in a more funny way, and it's usually used for comedy, and my readers seem to like it

but that's probably because of the expectations in humor coming from my writing style

which is usually bad puns and character reactions to absurd situations

and I agree witch chalcara, sometimes we can feel like we failed a plot twist when people see it from miles away

which is true, but sometimes even when they figure it out it's best to leave it as it is

I've seen a lot of writers fucking up their stories by changing plot twists that were stablished just because "people found out too early", and retconing a lot of the story in result

like, making a plot twist consists in creating some kind of foreshadowing

to make the twist not seem too forced and taken from nowhere

also to make it rewarding for those who searched deep for those clues

idk I love these little foreshadowing/clues we can leave for our readers

to make the twists even more powerful and meaningful

RebelVampire

I want to second a lot of the above. A plot twist should not be completely unguessable. Because if nobody guesses it, it means to most readers it's gonna feel like it makes no sense and came out of nowhere. The goal of a true twist is to have as few people as possible guess it but then when it's revealed, the reader smacks their head going "how could I miss all these clues."

Pistashi

exactly

Deo101 [Millennium]

Readers predicting things usually makes me lead with "oh no, I'm predictable!!!" And then makes me thing "wait, no, it means they're picking up on the hints I've left behind." Though sometimes it's predictable, like if someone guesses the actions of the next few pages, that's less of the readers picking up on hints and more just guessing right. But guessing big plot things, j think, is a reflection that I'm making things as clear as I need to, and I'm rather fond of it

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

99% of the times I am delighted if they guess the plot twist. I like it when I feel like my readers are on the same page as me (pun ...maybe not intended?) and see where things are going. Since my stuff is character driven, it tells me they can read the characters and their personalities well enough. However there was this one time when I had intentionally depicted something that was not going to be the historical norm (namely the p-51 mustangs' coats of paint on a cruiser in the opening scene of my WWII webcomic Brave Resistance). A war history buff called me out on it IMMEDIATELY saying "wait, these aren't how they're supposed to be!" and nearly spoiled the entire plot on page 2! I had to DM him to tell him to tone it down, and explain to him why the planes where the way they were. He apologized and stopped, but I'd wanted to throttle him for a while there

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I agree with Rebel re: the purpose of a plot twist. In that sense, though, I don't think my story even has plot twists. There is no moment anywhere in the story where I want the readers to go "how could I have missed all the clues!!!" ... On the spectrum of brainy vs hearty, my story is very close to the extreme end of hearty. Like, think of stories like The Little Prince or My Sweet Orange Tree. Even when unexpected things happen, it's never about the brilliant reveal. The most shocking thing in My Sweet Orange Tree comes out of nowhere, and it works for that book. Heart of Keol is a lot like those two in this regard. Not exactly the same, but pretty dang similar!

So back to the question, honestly? I want people to be able to guess. The usual bane of my existence is the opposite problem: people not knowing wtf is going on. My story isn't supposed to draw its strength from its surprises, so guess away (edited)

eli [a winged tale]

I love it when the reader guesses the gist of the plot twist a few pages just before the reveal. I sort of follow the novel structure idea that the reader should see what’s coming next right before it hits them, hence rewarding their investment in the story. Wild speculations without the clues I’ve planted are interesting. It does make me wonder if I relied too much on tropes or left too big of the crumbs. That being said, I’m not too fussed by readers predicting the general directions of the plot because it’s all about the character reactions. Could they predict that too? Maybe, to a degree. But there are a lot of subtext I try to write in my characters that give some nuances that I feel may entertain even those who guess correctly how the story would go. TL;DR: guess away. Love reading theories. The story is set so I won’t be changing anything big but perhaps layer the reveal with subtleties.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I've actually never had readers guess what's coming next. I mean, unless you count obvious, broad stuff (such as "the MCs get together"). I mean, it IS a romance. But in regards to big plot events, no one has gotten remotely close with their predictions (which kind of surprises me, because I drop clues everywhere). To be fair, I'm only a chapter in, so I guess it makes sense. But I am excited for the day when people finally guess

eli [a winged tale]

Same Cronaj! The predictions I’m speaking of are from my betas reading the entire script I love it when then go—- “omg this [plot point] must mean [reveal!]” .... right before the reveal

Feather J. Fern

If anyone does pick out certian plot twists I will be like "Yesssss people do think like me, I am not crazy" XD because most of my twists are all shown from the start through hidden background things so if people found them I am excited they took time and effort to figure out twists

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I love it. I haven’t been disappointed about it yet, and I don’t think I will be. It doesn’t make me change the twists at all - in fact, I’ve even shifted some story elements around to give the readers even more confirmation that they’re right, earlier on in the plot. I want to reward them with a treat, and now they can revel in their cleverness a bit longer Hee hee.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I love it too, but I don't change things to make readers more right like LadyLazuli does. Sometimes I'm tempted to, though! My readers have good ideas!

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I like plot twists so I like to set a hint of them off early tbh (edited)

but I try not to make it too obivous :3c

tho for those who like to guess, I welcome it. I like hearing folks and their interpretations even if it's not what I'm going for too lol

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Admittedly, a lot of it is due to the nature of the medium. I know that webcomics take ages to get to major reveals or spoilers - I can wait to totally-confirm things, but I can't wait to... almost-confirm things? I don't want people to get tired or frustrated. I know I've gotten angry at anime shows that take 20 episodes to confirm something we guessed at episode 1, so I like when these things are all but confirmed early on. It can be really fun to know a secret that, maybe, the heroes don't know. It gives an extra layer of STOP, NO, DON'T GO IN THERE! in times of danger

But given my propensity to practically s c r e a m my spoilers to people who I can trust with the plot... a lot of it is just me bursting at the seams wanting to say YES YOU'RE CORRECT.

Patience and restraint. Essential things in webcomics

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed! So much patience needed I do love some excellent plot twists executed just chefs kiss

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yes! I just want to tell readers, "Oh God, you're right! Good job!" But instead I usually respond with a ":)" or "I like this analysis!" Which I think is basically just confirming it. But if it's a real life friend? I cannot resist from telling them everything. I've even spilled spoilers in this chat before, trusting that most people here haven't read my comic. Kind of backfired when I reached a major plot point and someone commented, "She's been waiting to bust out this plot point for so long." Oops, guess someone did read my forum posts. But even if I did spoil things in the comments, is it really that big of a deal? I'm the kind of person where spoilers don't detract from my experience of things and sometimes even adds to it. But some people care about spoilers, so.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Haha yeah it’s honestly so freeing to just tell someone about the spoilers

Here’s what I have planned that will wreak the readers muahaha

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Past me could super relate to that! But these days I don't really want to TELL people? I'm not sure if that's because I've changed as a person, or if it's because this story is different from my previous ones. That being said, my patience is not infinite. I am itching to SHOW people. Can't wait to get to those Big Scenes

"Big" is a weird adjective here because they're very small scenes in some ways. Very intimate/personal

But... you guys know what I mean. The scenes that every longform webcomicker is dying to get to

Mei

Oh gosh, I agree that plot twists shouldn't be entirely out of the blue, since it's nice to have the hints that give people the crumbs to follow a trail. But like, since I write a lot of these chapters way in advance, and if I had the chance I'd love for them to be readable in one go as opposed to a page per week, I fear that I'm boring people with a predictable punchline? That being said, I get so many comments that predict the end of the chapter or the punchline or the joke. And I'm always like "haha maybe????" but inside i'm like "oh my god, they got me, THEY GOT ME"

Ohh yeah keii I get what you mean

the scenes you're like, checking your watch, checking your current pagecount, and thinking "soon I'll get to draw it, and it will be marvellous"

eli [a winged tale]

Oh gosh those scenes for me are at the finale

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

TBH last time I got to one of those scenes (which was very recent), my anxiety skyrocketed because I was expecting someone to say something harsh. Because it happened in all of the previous ones. But this time it went well, so hopefully the future ones will, too?

eli [a winged tale]

Yay!

Deo101 [Millennium]

I think for me, I worry more than anything that it will ruin things for other readers, rather than me worrying so much about someone guessing right or me sharing spoilers.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Someone DID say something harsh, but it was right before the actual scene and not about the scene and a lot of people got fed up with their attitude so I felt like it wasn't my fault, lol

eli [a winged tale]

Ruin things for other readers? Oh like someone predicting correctly in the comments?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Also yay! I always get anxiety about those kinds of scenes

Yes, someone predicting Something

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Well thought-out predictions are a lot of fun to read though, as a reader going through the comment section

eli [a winged tale]

I guess I stopped minding it and now embrace it they could be wrong or right and who knows until we get there~

Oh totally!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Oh I don't mind so much, but that doesn't mean I don't worry a bit too!

J like reading them for me, but I still think "I wonder if this will ruin it for someone else"

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Occasionally there are problems with Korean webcomics that were originally webnovels? Because people who've read the novel version sometimes spoil things in the comic comment section, and that's not cool. They're not even theorizing, they're straight up spoiling.

Deo101 [Millennium]

:(

eli [a winged tale]

Oh no that’s bad

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

But if people are theorizing, and the theories turn out to be right, that's all very fun IMO!

Mei

ugh when people spoil things it irritates me to no end. Let people enjooy it for what it is!

and yes!! that's one of my fave things too

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, every reader is different though. I have some people who explicitly have asked me not to share spoilers, and others who kinda beg for them! So I worry if some people don't like to see predictions (I know my dad doesn't like when I guess things in a movie)

Mei

theorising, discussing with other fans, just chatting about what you think may or may not happen

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Sometimes you even see comments like "Hurry up, Konans! I'm too tired to think, so post some good interpretations/theories!" lol (Konan as in the detective... in Korea, it's a term for hardcore theorizers in webcomic comment sections)

Oh, I think movies are different

I don't want any form of verbal remarks while I'm watching a movie

Or like, if I'm marathonning a show with my bro, we're entirely silent except between episodes.

But comment section is like, you have to actually go there.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Some people might be like that for comics, too. Idk. I'm not trying to say i don't like to see theories I'm just trying to think of everything that makes me worry about them is all.

And for me, the biggest worry would be that someone seeing a prediction would make them enjoy my comic less. It doesn't mean I necessarily think it's all that common, but I refuse to say it won't happen I think

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Personally, I think that's not an issue unless you confirm the commenter's theories

like I've seen theories for things online where my first reaction is "that's dumb, that would never happen" and then it happens

some people will latch onto another person's theory, others will reject it, but i don't think people will take it as a spoiler in advance

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah, theories are just theories

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I mean I know some people don't even want to hear other readers' theories, but if they are that extreme, they need to avoid the comment section on their own IMO?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

^^

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

like... cool, I respect your preferences, but you can't hold me responsible, pal!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Again I'm not trying to say I don't like theories or I don't want them I'm just trying to think of all potential issues with them

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Granted, I'm one of those people who will scroll through the comments and read theories because I like to see all the smart people reveal the clues to dumb people like me

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I can relate to that

@Deo101 [Millennium] Understandable! Just don't be too hard on yourself for things that you can't control

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Those geniuses that remember details from 30 chapters ago and somehow manage to connect the dots

Mei

Exactly! The comment section is there, but it's their choice to read it, and also like it's not your fault either? like they're not YOUR comments

haha in our RPG games sometimes people drop character plot hints way at the start of the campaign, and my friend will turn up, 7 months later, " remember when Character A said this? I remember"

and everyone's like "what the heck?!" some people are just detectives

they can see it, they see the matrix

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Anyway, I love when my readers theorize! I don't believe any reader has guessed any of the major plot twists in the first two books, despite there being enough evidence beforehand to make a guess (closest was "whatever zebugu's doing, it's not evil this time" but not the specifics of what he was doing). Though, if they had, I wouldn't mind, since that's max two years they gotta wait before the reveal (and that's assuming they guess it on the cover page lol). Book 3 is a different beast - strictly speaking, there's enough evidence for someone to predict both twists at the end of the book, right now. And... that may be an issue, given that this book will take over three years to reach those twists. So... we'll see if anyone guesses them. What's weirdest is when people guess things almost correctly with absolutely NO hints. And it's some super specific and minor thing like "Mizuki is secretly the reincarnation of a thousand-year-old dragon". Like... there haven't even been dragons mentioned in the comic up to this point. Nor any events from a thousand years ago. And like, that's not exactly the truth, but how do you get THAT close???(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

They see E V E R Y T H I N G

eli [a winged tale]

Sometimes it’s a trope thing? But yeah wild speculations can be so wild but so spot on

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

but there aren't any fantasy creatures in the comic, at all!

except a squid with feet!

eli [a winged tale]

Lol whaaaat then yea not sure where the dragon part came from then

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Sherlock Holmes readers lol

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah detective Conan lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

Joke gone awry

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

basically

Feather J. Fern

Well I mean I have crack theories about random people being random things too so...

I can see where they come from XD

sagaholmgaard

tbh I think my comic is fairly easy to predict as it has a pretty straightforward narrative xD but I don't have that many readers yet so maybe in the future! I would have fun reading people's guesses and predictions :D

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

AAA my readers right now are so accurate. They're so smart. They make me want to post my entire buffer right now and prove them right.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wonder if anyone would be able to predict the next things happening in joe is dead

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I at least have no idea what's going to happen next but am looking forward to it anyways(edited)

🌈ERROR404 🌈

i know that it's only because TH is still quite new, and I haven't gotten to the meat of the story yet, but i like reading some of the really out there predictions and worries i get in some of the comments lol

AntiBunny

I will never tell someone if their guess is right or wrong, but if they do guess it, it probably means I'm foreshadowing well.

Then again I also find myself writing by the seat of my pants, so plans are subject to change.

kayotics

The original question mentions “plot twists” but I’m never trying to make a plot twist personally. I may intentionally obfuscate things, but I don’t ever try to do wild twists and turns. So when a reader predicts what will happen, I actually don’t mind, and I’m pretty happy that it’s following a logical chain of events. On the other hand, when readers are totally off base, I think that’s REALLY fun.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Most of my readers feel that my comics are twisty and surprising, but I often get at least one reader who correctly guesses what will happen, even if sometimes they’re joking or think their theory is wild and out there. Honestly it feels pretty awesome to have a reader shrewd enough to puzzle out the clues, because that means they’re really paying attention. I don’t have a very big audience and most of the time they’re silent, so anytime someone leaves a comment that is carefully thought out, it makes me really happy. As for the times readers joke or wildly speculate but inadvertently hit the nail right on the head, I find those very amusing. I really love stories with well done twists and turns, and so I try very hard to execute good plot twists that have enough foreshadowing to be ‘Aha!’ moments rather than ‘Where did that even come from?’ moments. So I love when readers are both properly misdirected AND when they pick up on the clues and deduce the twist.(edited)

DanitheCarutor

Does my comic have plot twists? I don't really think about it. People have correctly guessed things that will happen in a chapter, someone even guessed correctly on the climax when a character named Daniel was introduced... well, it was more like "I hope things don't turn out like -blank-!". I don't mind, just because they guessed something correctly doesn't mean they know how the story will go for sure, it just means that they're theorizing and that is something I always encourage. I don't think that means the story is boring or predictable either, some people are just really good at that stuff. Even though I don't think my comic is very mysterious/unpredictable it's still impressive when someone pays attention to all the little visual and dialogue details, then guessing correctly about a future event based on them. Nothing more flattering than someone enjoying your comic enough to analyze it.

Lmao! I can't tell you how many movies I've ruined for people because I guessed a plot twist correctly.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Haha, honestly same. I’m not allowed to make predictions during movies or TV shows anymore bc I almost always get it right. XD Webcomics I find a bit more unpredictable, though, because most of them aren’t nearly as formulaic as mainstream film.

DanitheCarutor

Yeah! Even if it's not obvious most of the time movies go by a pattern or set of traits, once you learn how they go a film or TV show becomes a lot more easy to figure out right away. The only time I'm stumped is when the movie is really surreal or absolutely awful. That's the nice thing about webcomics in a way. I assume a lot of creators haven't had professional training, and we want to tell a story more than be entertaining to the masses, so stories are less predictable. They don't always go by a formula, which can be refreshing.

Capitania do Azar

Aw man I would love to have some theories, but for the time unfortunately I don't I'm always super curious about how readers interpret things given they don't have an inside view of things

[cloudninetonine]

A Favour for a Favour

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader Summary: Peter stumbles across someone strange when he’s walking home from school and decides to help that strange someone. This leads to some interesting events.

A/N: I HAVE HAD THIS SHIT SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR A YEAR AND I FINALLY FINISHED IT SO HERE YOU ALL GO, ENJOY

This is only one part of it tho, I will continue it if you guys want me to

Also, Alpha/Beta/Omegaverse here cause it makes everything more interesting

Warnings: Bad language, Sexual Tension? I think

Peter Parker was a smart boy.

Yeah, he had some oddities, the boy who enjoyed old timer movies and only had one friend, Ned Leeds, but he was still incredibly skilled when it came to science and maths and was destined to have a great future one day, so that’s what really mattered. He was intelligent, and his smart decisions would lead him to something great.

So when he saw the two feet sticking out from behind a dumpster on his way back from school one evening, he wondered if it was a stupid decision or not to go check on whoever the feet were attached to.

The boy moved slowly, taking one step after another away from the busy street into the dirty alley while leaning over to glance behind the giant metal container.

Peter could see them clearly now. A girl, from what he guessed about the same age as him, was sat leaning against the neighbouring apartment complex with a lit cigarette in her hand. Her hair was short and matted shadowing her eyes, her skin was riddled with dirt and she was wearing what once was a pristine suit, now torn and soiled with what looked to be dried blood. Though the weirdest thing had to be the lack of scent, nothing, not a single thing that gave away what exactly she may have been. Alpha, Delta, Beta, Gamma, Omega? There was nothing and that unnerved him greatly.

Peter Parker was a smart boy.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be stupid.

“You know it’s a bad idea to walk into an alleyway alone” An English accented voice made him jump and Peter watched as the girl turned to look at him with piercing (e/c) eyes that seemed to glow with warning. The girl’s lips pulled back, a deadly smirk growing on her features as she stared right into his soul. “Are you trying to get jumped?”

Peter shook his head quickly, swallowing the lump in his throat as he stammered “N-No, I just- I saw you- I thought you might have needed help-”

The sudden laugh she released was boisterous, her hand slapping the pavement was loud and everything she seemed to do made him jump nervously. He wouldn’t be having this problem if he was an Alpha. “Me? Need help? How kind of you, stranger”

His eyes caught the thick collar around her neck and the idea of a scent collar popped into his head. It was, however, quickly diminished when he noticed that the collar seemed more of some sort of electrical torture device. “Would- uh, would you like help?”

It was a stupid question. Peter knew it was a stupid question, he didn’t even know why he asked in the first place and expected her to laugh again at his idiotic query, however, her cruel smile began to soften and she let out a broken laugh.

“You can’t help me, kiddo” Came her soft reply “You should get outta here before things get…” She paused, trying to find the words “messy…”

“Messy?” The American repeated, tilting his head in confusion. After a brief silence, most likely her contemplating if she should tell him the context of her comment, she patted the spot next to her. Peter walked over slowly, sliding down to match her position and blinking in surprise when she held her hand out.

“The name’s (Full Name) and what I’m about to tell you right now is basically part my life story, so I might as well know your name first.” Peter grabbed her hand, giving the girl a firm shake as he replied “Peter Parker”

(Name) grinned “Nice to meet you, Parker”

“Uh, likewise”

(Name) turned back, facing the opposite wall as she took a deep breath. Her hand moved to her jacket pocket, pulling out a silver flask and gesturing towards him as if to ask ‘want some’, pulling away with an understanding nod when he declined before taking a swig of its contents.

“I don’t think…” Peter trailed off when she pulled a disgusted face.

(Name) was quick to spit it back out.

“Whiskey isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, it seems” She tossed the flask aside and sighed in disappointment.

Silence hung over them and Peter felt the need to ask if she was going to explain her situation. He knew he should really leave it alone, he knew he should have probably left when she had suggested, maybe even call the police but his gut told him that his efforts would be for nothing, that what he was doing now was the right thing.

He didn’t really like trusting his gut, it always seemed to end with some type of problem or problems that he would need to deal with sooner rather than later.

“You see the collar?” (Name) scowled, gesturing towards the thing with distaste “It’s there to keep me in check when I go out for... assignments from my boss and well, it’s got a tracking system with a whole team monitoring my every move twenty-four-seven”

Clicking her tongue, she continued “However, during one of my jobs I got hit and it got fucked, so I’ve been off the grid for a few days but I know that they’ll have that damn thing back on soon, they always do”

(Name) pulled her legs up to her chest, placing her head onto her knees and closing her eyes. “And once they find out I’m not dead already, they’ll kill me off”

“W-what!” Peter exclaimed, eyes wide and face stricken with horror. “Why haven’t you taken it off?!”

“Can’t; It’s locked, I don’t know the code and one wrong move won’t end well”

(Name) once again leaned back, meeting the boy’s eyes with a tired smile. Peter could tell what she’s feeling, he’s felt it so many times before and he just couldn’t bear the sight. She was tired, the kind of tired that was really just a cover-up to hide the despair and complete misery she was feeling but trying to ignore as she knew that there was nothing that could be done to make it stop.

It was at that moment that Peter Parker decided to use his smarts to his advantage.

Peter dived into his bag, rummaging through his items while (Name) watched him with interest. He let out a silent cheer, pulling out a small keyboard and some wires he had found while dumpster diving earlier this morning.

(Name) grinned upon seeing them “It’s not gonna be that easy, Parker, this thing was programmed by a bunch of expert hackers, it’s not gonna give way to a fifteen-year-old with a bunch of retro techs”

“I can still try, I’m not gonna let you die” He responded, patting his jeans for his phone only for one to be presented to him.

“Well, if I can’t stop you, I might as well help you” (Name) was still grinning and he could see a slight spark appear in her eyes. “Don’t use your phone, you’ll just have to throw it away”

Peter smiled, taking the device “Thanks, where did you get this?”

“You wouldn’t like that answer”

After a confused pause, the boy began his work. (Name) had her back to him, the device unscrewed revealing a mess of wires and chips, some of which had been connected to the keyboard and phone. The smart device was used to display the mess of code and keyboard used to break down the jumbled expanse of numbers he could see. If Ned were here, this would be much easier, he thought but alas, his friend was probably at home working on the lego podracer he had bought a few weeks ago.

“You feel like giving up yet, Parker?” (Name) teased and Peter let out a grunt of acknowledgement, too far into a state of concentration to respond to her comment. “You know, it’s okay if you can’t do it, not everyone can be saved”

“It doesn’t mean that they can’t try to be” She went quiet after that, her form becoming slight stiff as he continued on with his task. (Name) had long since given up and she accepted that maybe, she wouldn’t be able to continue on but there was no way in hell that Peter was going to accept defeat, he would figure this out or die trying.

It was about thirty minutes later when something finally seemed to happen. “I think I have the code”

(Name) froze “...Seriously?”

“Yeah…” Peter leaned forward, fingers ghosting over the rubber numbers on the code panel as he looked up at (Name) hesitantly. “Do you want me to…?”

She sat silently for a moment, her form completely still when she spoke “Do it”

“What if it’s-”

“Then it’s wrong”

“What will happen-”

“Don’t think about that”

Peter gulped, then choked out a sigh, trying to calm his nerves as he glanced over the numbers one last time and began to input in the six-digit sequence. He hesitated before pressing the enter button, shuffling back slightly at (Name)’s demand and sitting in silence as they waited for something to happen. A minute when past, then five, then ten and Peter let out a sound of confusion.

“Did...did it not work?” (Name) was still quiet when she moved her hands to the device, ignoring Peter’s concerned call as she grabbed it and tugged at it gently. With a soft click, it gave way, becoming limp in (Name)’s hand as she turned around and brought it in front of her, face frozen in astonishment as they both stared at it.

“It worked…” She whispered, a smile growing on her face “It worked!”

(Name) laughed, jumping to her feet with joyous cheer and threw the device to the floor. Peter watched as she slammed her boot down on it, laughing a relieved laugh at the cracking sound before taking a deep breath and looking over towards him as he stood.

“You saved my life, Parker” (Name) grinned “I owe you”

“Y-You don’t really-” The boy tried to argue, yelping suddenly when she threw herself towards him, squeezing him gratefully while he stood there awkwardly. She was about the same height as him and her grip around him was much stronger than he had expected.

“Yes, I do” She pulled away, giving him a two-fingered salute before turning and walking deeper into the alley. “We’ll meet again, Parker, but as of now, it would be a good idea to part.”

“Wait, what-”

(Name) turned, a knowing smirk on her face as she sent him a cheeky wink “They’re are probably still trying to track that thing, but I’ll be long gone so head off before you gather their attention”

She turned, disappearing into a connected alley with a farewell while ignoring Peter’s perplexed shouts. The teen was quick to gather his stuff, chasing after girl still calling after her but stopped when realising that it was deserted, the only thing within his eyesight being a few other dumpsters and the busy street at the mouth of the alleyway.

Peter let out a disappointed sigh as he threw his backpack onto his shoulder, exiting the narrow pathway and continuing his walk back home.

A few weeks later, a little after the spider bite, there was a delivery at his door with a note, the words ‘only the beginning - (Name)’ written in red ink with a friendly heart. He was lucky that Aunt May wasn’t there so he wouldn’t have to explain the large stack of cash he pulled out of the envelope.

It was a few months later when Peter had been appointed by the Tony Stark to help him fight against a rogue group of heroes and to say that it was chaotic would be an understatement.

He expected something bad, these were superheroes obviously, some were made to be weapons, some had magic, some were just plain skilled and terrifying, but oh, what he got to face was so much worse.

He had got thrown around by Captain America, nearly caught an arrow to the shoulder, had some sort of psychic blast sent his way- it was a nightmare and no words could change that.

However, halfway through the fight, he had been cornered by a smaller masked figure and he had been fighting against them with much difficulty. Dodging an electric baton, blocking flying punches, jumping back from a boot to the face- really, doing anything that wouldn’t end with him of the floor.

However, his plans were quickly foiled when his assailant ducked down, swiftly sweeping the young hero’s legs out from under him and sending Peter onto the hard, cold ground. The enemy was quick to pounce, straddling his waist, pinning both his arms above his head before pulling back out their baton and pointing it dangerously close to his neck as a warning to stay down.

Peter audibly gulped from under his mask.

Then, without any warning, they began to lean closer, weapon still poised at his neck when he noticed something- well, in their case, the lack of something.

They had no scent.

There was no musty smell of an Alpha, no natural aroma of a Beta, the sweet fragrance of an Omega, just...nothing. Everyone else in this airport had some sort of particular smell but this character had nothing, nada, absolutely nil.

That’s when he realised.

“Heya, Parker”

He knew exactly who this was.

“(N-Name)?” The boy stammered, squirming under his captor’s grip with an uncomfortable whine. The proximity made him uncomfortable and it seemed to make him forget that he could have easily pushed her off of his frame. “What are you doing here?”

Dropping her weapon, (Name) swiftly pulled back her mask to reveal the Cheshire grin carved into her cheeks, accompanied by a surprisingly mischievous spark in her eyes.

"I'm here helping the good guys" She tilted her head to the side, looking over him with an obvious glee “Looks like you chose the wrong side, Parker”

“I didn’t choose the wrong side!” (Name) snorted at his frustrated rebuttal, biting her lip in a teasing motion as she watched his suit eyes narrow “Do you even know what’s going on here?!”

“Do you even know what’s going here, Parker?” Peter huffed, turning his head to the side in a way to avoid her inquisitive counter.

No.

He had no clue what was happening at the moment, he just wanted the chance to team up with Mr Tony Stark and some other popular faces that he had only dreamed of ever meeting in real life.

“Didn’t think so” She laughed, leaning closer as she took a whiff of him “When did you become an Alpha, Parker? Did it happen when you got those abilities of yours?”

“I-I…”

“Or maybe you were an Alpha this whole time? Maybe you were hiding it behind that Beta smell from before, hm?” She was so close, Peter realised when he felt soft breathes fan over where his ear would be under his mask. He could feel everything of her, her hands holding down his wrists, her chest pressed against his, her thighs straddling his hips- he was aware of every single little detail and he didn’t know why. He knew it wasn’t his spidey senses, her playful attitude with him showed that she had no thoughts of hurting him in any way, maybe it was his nerves?

Then he caught a small scent that only grew stronger when his senses honed into it. It was like the smell of a bakery, the telltale aroma of fresh doughnuts out of the oven, the sugary smell of cupcakes being iced and danishes being left to cool off, oh, he could almost taste it! (Name) smelled so delicious, so delightful, so...so…

Sweet!

…

Wait-

“Holy shit…”

(Name) giggled, her hands snaking down from his wrists to tug up his mask and boop his nose. She winked at his wide-eyed expression.

“Surprised, Parker?” She cooed with a playful grin “Big, scary (Name) being an Omega?”

“(Name)...”

All at once, the smell was gone and (Name) jumped to her feet “Well, it was nice seeing you, Parker, but I gotta go. Gotta go be a hero when I can be one”

“Wait!” (Name) ran, not giving Peter a second to talk. The teen jumped to his feet, pulling down his mask and chasing after her through the chaos "(Name), wait!"

“No can do, Parker!” She shouted back, sliding to the left when the boy shot a web towards her, dodging it with a laugh. “Good one, but not good enough!”

The boy growled in frustration, his speed increasing significantly from his determination before he reached out and caught her wrist. (Name) squealed when he tugged her back, manic giggles falling from her lips when she made eye contact with the boy as he brought her to his chest. “Couldn’t get enough of me, Parker? I’m honoured, really”

“You can’t just-” He spluttered trying to bite back his frustration in favour of sounding confused “You can’t just do that and run!”

“And why can’t I?”

“Because-”

“Because, what?”

“Because, I-

“Because, you-”

“Because I liked your scent!” He finished, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment while (Name)’s eyes widened in surprise.

“You, what?”

“...I liked your scent” He repeated with more confidence, leaning closer to her “It was...sweet”

“Sweet?” (Name) whimpered, glancing around “Parker I have to go-”

“Please” Peter squeezed her forearms gently, urging her to look at him “Please don’t go”

(Name) looked so conflicted.

“Peter-”

A flash of red and Peter was thrown back, his colliding into a van with a pained grunt while (Name) stood motionless, unsure of what to do when another hand tugged at her.

“Come, (Name)” Wanda ushered, glancing back at the boy before both of them were running again.

It was only when (Name), Bucky and Steve were in the Quinjet did she make any noise again. The two males glanced back at her, watching as she let out a string of flustered giggles, covering her face as she curled into herself.

“You okay, kid?” Bucky asked and (Name) sighed, relaxing into the seat with a dazed expression.

“He liked my scent” She giggled, “He said it was sweet”

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, both soldiers’ faces contorting into different emotions when they realised what the girl was talking about.

“Bucky-”

“I’ll kill him”

[wizardessheart-sideb]

This week’s episode is here! It was a bit of a downer, but next week we’ll have some fun! As usual, transcript under the read more.

HEWWO

Hello everyone, welcome to Royal Magic Academy Radio, a podcast about Wizardess Heart. I’m your host, Mari. I’m home from Anime Expo and ready to start working on this stuff again. My trip was pretty crazy and I needed more downtime than I expected, so thank you everyone for being patient with me. And since a lot has happened and I had a lot to say anyways, this episode’s gonna be fairly long. So, let’s get on with the show.

GAMING NEWS

We have a LOT of gaming news. The new collection event, Touch the Stars. We also got new items in the Make a Dates. And we got a brand new route featuring the newest love option, creepy ghost I mean Gray! We also got confirmation that Wizardess will be getting a season 10, which I’m personally far more excited for! We also have a special log-in bonus going on and it’s ghost-themed, so I’m already obsessed with it.

And finally, we have a brand new feature in the game! With Gray’s route and on, there will be an option to get reminded of what happened in the last chapter. I think this is an amazing feature and although the past routes, as of now, aren’t going to implement it, I still think it’s a really nice thing to have because let’s face it, sometimes you drop games for a month or more and need to get reminded about stuff. Or you’re like me and you never remember anything ever.

ANIME EXPO

Now, I'm sure a lot of you are eager to hear about Anime Expo this year, especially since I've been pretty quiet about it on all my social media. I always get really tired after cons since they're so over-stimulating in the first place, but this year was. Well.

I would love to say that AX was amazing this year. I'd love to tell you guys that it was so much fun, so well-organized, etc. But that'd be lying. And also you can't use the words "AX" and "well-organized" in the same sentence unless the word "isn't" is between them. This year's con was a god damn nightmare.

I've been going to AX for a couple of years now. This was my sixth year and I have to say this was the WORST Anime Expo I've been to.  

Let's start with the lines. Now, it's always a joke that Anime Expo gets called LineCon because the lines are insane. Now, those lines are usually for panels, food trucks, and badge pickup/registration. AX didn't start mailing general admission badges until last year, and that was the year they started doing RFID badges. Last year was their FIRST YEAR using these and it went fine! This year however, no.

They didn't have enough security for 100,000 attendees and lines to get in were hours long. I was lucky it only took me 2 and a half hours. Some of my friends waited in line for 4 hours. Some people on twitter were saying as much as 8 hours. The next day they fixed it but it was disgusting to see a con that could clearly handle this situation well, as entry lines last year were fine, handle it so poorly.

And then there's staff and volunteers. Normally, I've only ever had issues with the convention center staff. Some of them are rude and misgender a lot of attendees. Which for me personally, I get it, since I'm biologically female, I present super femininely, and I don't wear pronoun pins. But I've seen staff misgender people with pronoun buttons the size of a baby's head and with bold text on it. While facing them dead on. And I can't really forgive that. 

But this year some volunteers were hella rude which. I've honestly never experienced before it was pretty shocking hearing the stories. I don't blame volunteers for being frustrated considering how shitty this con is ran, but I don't think taking that frustration out on anyone is okay.

This con is the biggest in the US. I'd be far more forgiving of the hiccups if 

1) The con was just starting out. 

2) They were small.

3) They didn't have it under control last year.

4) The con didn’t passive aggressively blame attendees for their own incompetence, like they did with the long lines Day 1.

But that's not the case. This con is huge and has been going on for years. I know every con is going to have their struggles and that's fine. It's expected and it's totes okay. But this year was awful. They seemingly went back on things and it was worse than last year. Especially considering lines and security. That is unacceptable considering it was totally fine last year. I just. I do not understand how you can regress so much. This year's con was terrible and I'm not going back next year.

And now that we have the salt out of the way, we can talk about the good things. And I'll play some footage of the con in the background, so if you want to see it and you're just playing this in the background, go ahead and switch over, but I will try and describe Solmare's booth the best I can. I'd also like to thank some of the team members from Ceragon Dubs for joining me in this segment! Originally we were all gonna vlog together but. It was my first time vlogging so I was pretty lost so we're just gonna use the footage and not include audio. Enjoy my horrible cinnamon topography, guys.

It was honestly a really lovely booth and I really enjoyed it. It was just. So beautiful and I know that's really silly, but I loved it. The walls were lined with concept art for Obey Me! on one side, manga on the other, and then Moe Ninja Girls. The front section of the booth was tall and had banners for Obey Me and Moe Ninja Girls hanging and it was just. Idk why, it was such a unique design and to be honest, a lot of booths at AX are kinda the same-looking. The booth essentially had 4 parts: a survey area, the area for the Moe demo, a place for a small Obey Me demo, and a place to take a picture with the Obey Me cosplayer they had.

I played a couple of the Obey Me demos and I’m honestly excited for it. I do have to stay tho there wasn’t anything outside of Obey Me or Moe, so that kinda sucked. Although I do think they were handing out the Klaus headbands from last year one day, since I saw some people wearing them when my friends and I were outside rehearsing for our performance.

Also, this isn't an Ikemen fan account, but I have to give HUGE props to their company for the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. So there’s a space issue with AX and you’re not allowed to sit in the exhibitor’s hall, and there used to be two halls were you could sit and AX stupidly made one into the 21+ lounge, so there’s really only one place to sit. Ikemen had like. One third of their booth as a merch shop and the other ⅔ were a sitting area where they were playing their dubbed animated shorts and honestly, it was so nice have a place to unwind and it was great. I don’t think I got any pictures of it, but it was sooooo wonderful. 

But anyway, that was Anime Expo. I’m not going next year, and this year kinda sucked as a last hurrah, but it’s like that sometimes. 

ROUTE REVIEW

Okay, so let’s shift gears a bit. It’s time for a route review, yay!!! Today we’re gonna be talking about Hugo’s route! Now, we all know Hugo is one of my favorite dudes, but I have to say, his route was so incredibly well done.

It was well-written, the plot was compelling, and all the loose ends were tied up or had a satisfying ending. Not to mention they had a lot of good foreshadowing. The one that stays with me is them winning the promise pendants in a game competition and those necklaces later coming handy towards the end. Everything is cohesive and although it’s definitely not what I expected, it’s hands down one of my favorite routes in the game. It does jump around to places and the plot itself is kind of weird, but the writing team makes it work and make sense. But the way things tie into each other is well done and I love it for that.

I also love the romance in it. Sometimes you love a character, but their route doesn’t really do them justice. Falling in love with Hugo felt natural and I definitely fell for him while reading, and all this time later, I’m still as smitten with him as I was when I first read his route. The romance was also pretty cutesy, but then again I just love the whole bodyguard and protectee falling in love trope, but still. 

So bottom line, Hugo’s route is one of my favorites in the game and I definitely recommend reading it.

CONCLUSION

Whew, we had a lot to talk about today! From here on, I’ll be back to my regular uploading schedule, so unless major things happen in a week, we won’t have long-ass episodes like this. I know this episode is kinda negative and I'm sorry but... you know, I had to, you know... Call out Anime Expo. As you guys know, I don't really like being negative, especially on the podcast but... I would be lying not to mention all the shitty things that happened and... I know a lot of you probably are interested in Anime Expo, since it is the biggest con in the US and it's in LA, which, I love LA. So I want you guys to know the full story of the con even though a lot of things were really terrible and I had a really bad experience this year. And next episode, I'm gonna make sure that everything's a lot more light-hearted and fun and positive and stuff, and kinda, you know, make up for this episode. But anyway. Thank you everyone for listening in this week! This is Mari, signing off.

[we-the-human]

AT Finale “Predictions”

Aug 27 Last Minute Pre-Screening Predictions

- Finn has recently expressed that he does not feel like fighting anymore.

- Finn has been gradually reducing his “past karmas”. (ie. destroying / transmuting aspects of himself through life lessons and letting himself come to conclusions naturally. Three Buckets = kicker the bucket x3. I’m not even going to go into the significance of three...

- Golb is p. Much the absolute essence of like, everything, so any “action” performed is indicative of an energy transfer process (chemical, electrical, .etc)

- the cycle of being able to act against Golb in the first place only creates the reference point for Golb to exist in. The first place, since to act, the energy to think of said act arises from Golb in the first place.

- The creator told Finn he could let everything go for a nee more of existence. That it wasn’t sure if Finn was the creator, or if it was. It offered him a new mode of reality. Finn wanted to see his human life through first — properly, his debts to himself and others paid.

- Finn doesn’t fight Golb by acting - by surviving. He fights by letting go, by not fighting - surrendering to death and walking willingly into Golb.

- Will probs need to be 100% sure of the decision tho so an emotional jam from the fam needs to go down.

Jake, you’re gonna do great sweety

- Correct interpretation of “Blenanas” may tell us what to expect. Was it a, “Sorry fans, this is it. We’re tired, media politics is bullshit. No one is laying their hands on this copyright for ages. We just wanted to make something funny. Thanks for sticking with us. The ending may not be what you or namely, the network, wants (Fuck diamonds and lemons). But we hope you like it.

- Or: “Fuck you network. We’re going out the way we want - all or nothing, while also totally staying loyal to the fans who have kept watching through the seasons. (I mean, Ice King DID get his fan fiction into their issue of “Ble”)

- The Gum War won’t last longer than 20 minutes.

- The first 20 minutes sets the environment and gets all the main cast and those whose stories are most relevant to the screen.

- Bubblegum has had her brushes with death before, but I feel none of them truly felt like “do or die” moments where the audience and characters are truly scared for her. I think this is where we get that close call.

- Gumbald’s army isn’t random. When it comes to baddies in Adventure Time, the Lich has taken the cake...And for being about a boy and his dog going on adventures, it’s never been about “physical fighting”. But, we can’t just NOT have a battle royale showdown! what they’ve done is lined up a series of villains who; a) Haven’t gotten their come-up-ins. And b) Stir up the most extreme feelings when it comes to characters who are not scary, like the Lich, but ASSHOLES, who the audience has a DESIRE to see get beat up. It’s never been about cool fight scenes, or glorifying violence - but if it’s gonna happen, this is how you make it satisfying.

- Golb is a comin’. It is not random. It makes perfect sense. And Jake is gonna save the day.

- All four of the main cast have had brushes and experienced mortality and death. We’ve seen now how many lives Finn has lived. What else is there to be afraid of?

- This is why it has to be Golb. The Lich is an offshoot of Golb; the essence of The age of Human greed and violence. We have seen Golb all but three times; The (re)BIRTH of Finn out of the pillow dimension. The DEATH of Margles. The POTENTIAL RESSURECTION of Margles. The trinity symbolism can be found anywhere, but god damn Betty wants to go ahead and bring Golb through into the material plane. (I think???)

- When Golb comes for you, it’s not for your life. It’s for your stream of consciousness. Golb will suck your life and energy into itself, removing both the physical mass and the ripples of their wave function’s potential from the never ending flux of the universe. You ripple to the frequency of Golb now.

- We have seen Finn die. We know his karmic essence lives on. We are going to see Finn fight to keep himself from being erased from existence and assimilated into Golb.

- And really, this means everyone is in trouble. We have the creator, and from the creator there are the two major poles. Positive-negative, masculine-feminine, form-formless, Glob-Golb, Action-Idea, Body-Mind, Particle-Wave.

- To have the poles be complete in their meeting, arriving at a singularity; all matter meeting with all potential, harmonized in a single pointed purpose means the ultimate death - that of the universe, and thus follows the ultimate rebirth.

-Glob, the manifestation of form, has been taken to the formless by the early catalyst comet. Golb, the manifestation of the formless, by means of breaching into form.

-The left and right hands (paths) of Glob; the right, Abraham Lincoln. Masculine; form, inherently “positive”, rigidity, structure, order, active, subservient, will lean into renunciation, logic. White ass Amurica.

The left; Magic Man. Feminine, inherently “negative”, passive, intuitive, flamboyant, open, creative, will lean into indulgence.

-I think we may be looking at a sort of “universal regime change” here. With Jake at the center.

- Magic Man hasn’t been being a dick this whole time, he’s been preparing Jake - whether he knows what’s coming or not.

Jake is tested over and over on his ability to be open and accepting to tough situations and make the right call - situations that often involve distortion of time, perception, the self and it’s relation to body and mind. Situations that are seductive or maddening. Jake passes. Every single time. He knows who he is. He knows when to back off and when to let go. No matter what Magic Man throws at him, Jake is always Jake. And by the end of it all, maybe, Everything’s Jake.

- This also opens up the finale to make it possible to touch on as many characters and stories as they want. If the audience is sent on a roller coaster ride through multiple dimensions within multiple timelines WHILE the characters are fighting to hold their personalities / selves together, we now have the option of seeing pasts, presents, possible future(s) - ALL without having to nail down continuous plot lines.

- Because this way we can see a happy memory of Marceline and her mom with no preamble. Take a look at a day in Simon’s life before he put on the crown. Literally have flashbacks of the fam just chillin’ for a movie night at Finn and Jake’s (I’d fuckin cry). And why limit it? Fiona and Cake? PB and Marceline’s history? Everything is available this way.

- what’s more, we don’t have and storyboard credits for the finale episodes yet. AT has no qualms about switching up animation styles when guest animators come along. It’s already a quirk of the AT universe. Timelines and dimensions crashing together also gives the perfect opportunity to have an onslaught of various animation styles if they desired.

- An ending like this makes sense with the delay we’ve been given. The three episode comic arc that has been promoted, “The Beginning of the End”, I think, is part of the finale. It’s one of the timelines. Finn trying to piece his self and his memories back together. The first one was released at the end of May. I THINK it was three. That puts the final issue near the end of July. (If it’s 4, the end of August.)

- We might lose Jake... kind of? Jake’s death has been alluded to, by even him himself, he’s never shown fear of death. Jake is a god like creature, a time lord. He is already breaking through time by existing in multiple places at once with his stretching.

-this is why it was the stretching that Warren Ampersand wanted. It’s the essence of time. More of it. More life. Jake can stretch and push time’s limits, but when he witnessed his own birth, (an event Warren has been mentally guiding since he planted Jake), he breached a singularity, triggering what would normally be a birth/death cycle, but as pieces of Jake exist elsewhere before and after his birth, the events converge and Jake and Warren meet as Warren had hoped it would play out.

-We might see Warren again! The audience is meant to know that what happened to him when he was tossed in the black hole was not bad. Warren has had plenty of time to learn how to extend his oscillations between body and mind - extending his physical and energetical life.

-He says he’s going 4D. We technically live in 3D, with the fourth dimension of time arising as a result of the two dimensional differential comparison of sensory input from our eyes to the brain. Two perceptions from each eye form to make the whole, the perception of the extra Third eye. Three eyes, three dimensions to control, and a fourth to touch.

Warren has 5 eyes. He’s ready to move up. 4 dimensions to control, and a fifth to touch. What is interesting is that while Warren is creating the world and it’s inhabitants to trick Jake, none of the people he creates have more than four eyes. He has 5, but does not use them all. Except when he impersonates Finn. Then he has 6.

- if we are talking “eyes”, it can possibly also mean “senses”.

- 4D I’m betting is the crystal dimension. Which brings Lady and Jake’s kids into play.

-If Golb is successful. If she takes in and formulates all of the active matter to synchronization in its singular form, duality has been broken, and a paradox emerges. The formless cannot exist without knowing it itself is formless - to do so, it needs form as a comparator.

- The cycle starts over, a new universe explodes into being.

- if there isn’t a full consumption of everything by Golb, she’s sure gonna try. Either way, it’s going to be Jake that either has such a strong sense of himself no matter how thrown off his external perception is that he will either help pull anyone who isn’t strong enough back into his existence by his memory of them, or, everyone goes 4D after Golb has successfully created universal entropy. Level up.

- Finn has already created and jumped into a 4D bubble in season 2. And he was pretty prophetic with those smart guy glasses on.

- The four 3D elementals that make up the current universal planes will be replaced. The vertical feminine formless pole; masculine fire, purposeful, active and assertive, reactive. Feminine water/ice, passive, still. The horizontal masculine pole of form; Masculine Earth/Sugar/Common molecular structure for carbon based life - masculine, discrete, quantitative, grounding, foundation, stability, logic.

Feminine slime/air - freedom, joy, creativity, flowing, mutable.

And the fifth is the whole of the parts, the personality, or ether/irradiated stardust - it’s own essence based out of the culmination of experiences of the others in a given vessel.

These, along with the ultimate glob form and ultimate Golb formless, may possibly, in an extra dimension move on into Jake and Lady (they both make good positive and negative poles) and the five rainicorn pups. Where beings were slaves to time, now time is one of the senses under control.

- Finn has spent many lives living through his Karma as a “right hand”. To Evergreen, to Shoko’s parents, to Bubblegum, to Jake, and that’s just his contribution to his karma. A new glob needs a new right hand.

- Even if the whole universe ISNT destroyed, Jake is still gonna likely need to help some folks out. Matter exists only if it interacts with other matter. The characters are going to have to use each other as memory anchors. The old ones will come back the easiest. Like Marceline and Bubblegum, who have been constants in each other’s lives for centuries.

- We might get a nice little domino effect... MAYBE SOME SINGING. Nothin says “vibrate back into existence” like an emotional tune from your homies to attach yourself to as you fight to not be swallowed by the void.

- If Jake is not the new Golb, I suspect Magic Man and Betty will be sacrificed in atonement. There is no “beating” Golb. Where there is a universe, there is a Golb and a Glob. Magic Man and Betty could take the new forms, with Jake as Magic Man’s Left hand disciple, and Finn as the right. Magic Man’s current ensemble fits this. His left side is covered with a red cloak. Red symbolizes the far end of the positive right handed spectrum, and it is lined with the same shade of yellow as Jake.

- I could branch off endlessly from here. Either way, I’d pay some money to know what went down during the negotiations of these last two seasons.

- I tallied up the total airtime for season 8 and 9 while ballparking 11 mins for the episodes. The DVD prerelease on amazon says it’s runtime is 10:38. Seasons 8 and 9 hit 8:10. No one really said how LONG the episodes were gonna be, only that there are four left.

- Blenanas made it pretty clear they don’t want any resurrections anytime soon. There was also supposed to be a movie to capitalize off of that I had heard Jeremy Shada mention in 2016 or 2017 that he heard it was still supposed to happen, but that no one had any details. Maybe we might get an EXTRA long finale. Before the last 8 episodes were announced, we seemed to be under the impression that there would be 16 episodes, plus a longer finale episode. Currently the format - if we assume the finale episodes are 10 minutes, we have 12 episodes with a longer finale.

- Oh and I’m thinking we may get a bit more clarification on the graybles dudes. I think they’re like Quantum Millenials - they learn all their lessons from watching experiences of others they have recorded in their cubes. Little packets of spacetime all neatly packaged.

- see issue 74. Magic man jacks the world of colour and imagination and Jake has to bring it back. It finishes with I think, the first cube creation.

- ok I’m done, have fun with these fam.

- PS. Betty and Simon won’t be getting together. He might die.

-edit: I lied. I’m. It done. The more I think about the extra episodes, the more it makes sense. Airing and advertising separately for the gum war and THEN the finale gives it away.

- if this was the original plan, it pans out to have the gum war air three months after gumbaldia in June, (would then total 15 episodes)have the three comics released, and end with the finale episode(s) (16 total).

- I also wouldn’t be surprised if there was issues with content and air dates well into late 2018 between the creators and the network

[greengargouille]

I felt the dire need to talk about Korosensei and Aguri, and more precisely why I don’t see their relationship as romantic. Somehow, this ended up pretty long.

(Note : for convenience’s sake, I will use ‘Korosensei’ even to talk about his past human form)

It’s not a matter of “Korosensei is to blame for Aguri’s death”. It wasn’t intentional on his part, and even if he had taken time to think about it, would he really have imagined Aguri doing such a reckless thing as she did ? (doesn’t mean he is to blame any less, tho). Heck, stories where a person kills their love interest for a good reason could be really interesting, like some kind of twisted Trolley problem, but that’s not what happened so let’s leave it at that.

If I were to convey my feelings into words, I think there would be three main points that makes me unable to appreciate this relationship:

1)We don’t actually see much of Aguri in her other relationships. Before Kayano’s arc, we have two mentions of Aguri ; one in chapter 1, a brief flashback from Korosensei ; and in chapter 76, between some students, which can basically be summed up as one page of ‘we had a former teacher that disappeared’, one panel of ‘I liked them, they were nice’ (keep in mind that the sentences were gender neutral), and then one panel to reveal said teacher was called ‘Yukimura’.

Then come Kayano’s reveal. When the story stop to explain us how and why she got tentacles, we don’t really focus on why is Akari so attached to her sister. Chapter 131 had one and an half pages to explain Aguri liked her teacher job, and she was nice and passionated.

Since the past time arc is mostly from Korosensei’s point of view it’s even a bit weird that it’s not solely his, given he’s supposed to be telling the story to his students, most of what we see of Aguri is with her developing relationship with him. We see her interacting with the former class E for two pages, sure. We see her interacting with Yanagisawa. But, the moment with our class E or the phone call to Akari ? It’s mostly to tease Aguri that ‘she found a man’ (we will come back to that later) ; it does imply some friendliness between them, else they wouldn’t say such things, but not much else.

The story post-tentacled!Kayano isn’t that much better. A brief half-page mention during Volume 17 saying Aguri wanted Korosensei to live, one case in chapter 153 on how she put her life on the line to save Korosensei, a photo of her on a chocolate on Korosensei... You can start to see a pattern here. The moments on the top of my head who break this are Yanagisawa’s flashback in chapter 157 and a mention from the Chairman in chapter 160.

A lot of those relationships are really... informed. We hear people say she was this or that, but we don’t actually see a lot of those interactions. For all the ill I could say about the second live action movie, at least they have a small scene of a young Akari baking with her big sis ; those are those kind of little moments that would make us understand why is this relationship valuable. This contrast a lot with Aguri’s relationship with Korosensei, that start from ‘this person could be useful to me’/”Eeeh you looks nice but if I release you you will kill me” to the tentacle hand scene (each wanting to express their thanks to each other and wanting to touch the other).

And then Aguri dies, the sacrifice saving Korosensei from becoming a bloodlust-fueled beast and motivating him to become a better person (and to teach class E).

So... a character that exists mostly for Korosensei’s development and motivations (yes, even more than for her own sister), that is then disposed and appear really occasionally for a one-panel flashback. Matsui, may I direct you to Tv Tropes ? I think you will find the example list on Disposable Woman and Stuffed Into the Fridge are long enough as it is.

Not that tropes are necessarily bad, but when it becomes recurrent that a female character exist solely to be killed so the main male character get development, it’s really tiring. And so, Korosensei and Aguri’s bond feel in retrospect less like a genuine relationship and more like a plot device. And by relationship, I do include the possibility of it being platonic, even if the manga would rather us see it the other way. Speaking of that, next point...

2)The story forces us to see it as a romance. I said we would come back to Aguri’s interaction with class E, so here we go. The students see their teacher is particularly happy, and are quick to jump on the conclusion that she must be meeting with a man she loves after school. Silly middle schoolers, no wonder they jumped on Irina’s signs of a crush as soon as they heard about it.

Next chapter starts with Akari asking her sis if she’s in love, since she sounds more cheerful, and despite her sister’s protests she says she wants to her about ‘that guy’ on her mind later.

Did you see the parallel? Wait, let me rephrase it.

Aguri seems happy, so others assume she’s in love. With a man, obviously ; same-gender romance can’t exist in the main story if it’s not a joke on Kataoka, else it’s best left as a mention on extra-material (right, Yada ?).

But... why? Why couldn’t she be happy because, say, she would met a friend or a family member after classes and just packed a gift she know would make them happy? Well, Akari know about their family’s situation but it’s unlikely Aguri told her about the gift, so for all the knew her sister could just be happy because she had time off-work or got rid of a very stressful thing, no need to see a relationship in this.

It’s tied to the idea, even more prevalent in Japan, that all women seeks romance and need an happy love life to feel fulfilled. And, just like a game telling me not to push that big pretty red button only makes me want to push it even more, when a story insist that, of course a female character is/needs to be in love, I will sit here hoping my judgmental glaze travel across time and space to hit the author on the head.

I like relationships that could work either way. If Matsui had kept this ambiguous, I would be way more appreciative of it ; instead of what he’s pretty much saying “Yes, of course they’re in a relationship” while winking unsubtly and nudging me with his elbow enough to make me fall from my chair.

If you think I’m taking my analogies too far, I can’t exactly say you’re wrong since the appreciation of this is subjective. But think of Kayano post-tentacles. When choosing whether to kill or save Korosensei, she does think ‘I wonder if it’s because we’re sisters that we both fell for assassins’. Karma wants to give poisoned chocolates to Korosensei for Valentine’s day? She bring him a photo of Yukimura in a more-or-less sexy swimsuit. Seriously Akari, that’s your dead sister we’re talking about. 

Sure, we could say she’s coping with her sister’s death by trying to think at least she got to be in love with a man that isn’t Yanagisawa (in case you hadn’t noticed, Kayano... don’t really like him *Understatement of the week here I go*), because if Aguri wasn’t in love with Korosensei that meant she never found happiness before dying. But we never had signs that this was what Matsui was trying to do.

Why Aguri couldn’t be happy with Korosensei as a close friend? Wouldn’t her death have influenced him as strongly if he saw her as a found family? Heck, this one might as well be better, given the close relationship Korosensei have with class E. 

Now, those two problems are shared by lot of stories, be they manga or novels, destined to teens or pre-teens just as for adults. The third one is a specific story point, precisely in chapter 138. It might be more subject to interpretation (to translation, too), and as such personal tastes might play more of a role in it.

3) How Korosensei treated Aguri after learning he would die. The moon just exploded, Aguri had barely learned that the lab would dispose of the God of Death that she was already running to him to inform him of the truth. Of course, he is crushed by th- nevermind, the narration talks about ‘embracing a cursed death’. That sure was quick. So, Korosensei’s first reaction is to want to try his new powers. When Aguri wants to stop him, does he listen to her, even knowing full well she won’t make him change opinions ? Nah, better to point out she have less talent than him, and even add how little value she have. Uncalled insults are sure to make her feel better after all. (One might see these as a way to make sure she would leave and not get caught up in the events, because Aguri is Aguri and any less rude way to persuade her to do so wouldn’t work. I do not share this vision of things). 

Even the ‘it will be better if you leave before you die in vain’ is dismissive. Sure, he warns her and waits for her to leave the room before acting, showing a tiny amount of care left he wouldn’t have for probably anyone else in this building. But there also the underlying meaning that he won’t restrain himself in his destruction solely because she’s here. 

As soon as Korosensei was reminded of his values on death, he pretty much threw this relationship away. relationship for which Aguri put a lot on stakes by telling him about his imminent death. This upsets me for a personal reason, but even without that, this does throws a wrench in the whole relationship. 

Sure, when Aguri died next to him, Korosensei ended up regretting the whole thing and had a change of heart. But a ‘Ooops, turns out I do care after all’ doesn’t erase all the damage he did by his preceding action (or the damage he could have done, rather, because Aguri is too good and still tried to save him).

So, what am I telling with this post ? In the end, very little. I wanted to present my opinion on the subject ; if you do ship Korosensei and Aguri and it brings you happiness, feel free to continue. Those are points that I feel one should be conscious of (though I feel the last one is hard to ignore), but liking this pair despite this does not makes one a bad person. However, as one must do anyways, please tag your content accurately so people like me can blacklist it.