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It’s currently 18C in Manchester so it’s definitely warm but not too hot!
18c is 64f. WHAT I WOULDNT FUCJING GIVE. I’m moving to England what the fuck I am not MADE FOR THIS WEATHER FROM HELL WE ARE EXPERIENCING IN OHIO WTF 😭😭😭
#I’m literally not cooking or baking or doing laundry during the day if possible#to save from using more energy when it’s hottest out#and to keep from heating the house more#because I’m so fucjing worried our part of the power grid will overload#and I don’t know what I would do with my kids in this heat without power#anyway I’m not doing well fam please check in with those you know in central Ohio#make sure we haven’t melted or evaporated#evaporation isn’t likely since it’s also so humid I’m not sure it can take in anything more#anyway#sorry it’s been a long week and I’m exhausted#asks#anonymous
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SFW ALPHABET A-Z
Gojo Satoru Edition 💙
note: I just want to thank everyone for making this blog hit 500+ followers. Never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have a writing blog and a one that is so supported and loved. I love everyone single of my followers and readers who took the time to read my content. English isn’t my first language so I struggle a lot when writing since I make a lot of typos and I barely have any writing skills. Even though I reread it to check I still manage to find some typos so I’m constantly editing, even my old posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how happy each comment or reblogs makes me, I love reading what you guys think. I will continue to work hard for you guys and the jkk community! Please look forward to future updates my lovelies! ❤
A= Admiration (How do they admire you? What is their thoughts about you? What is their reaction in meeting you for the first time? Do they instantly like you?)
Gojou loves staring at you and he's not afraid if he gets caught.
Even if you're doing chores or you're laughing with the first years. You could of just woken up with messy hair, drool dried on the corner of your mouth and he'll still think you're the most beautiful person in the world.
When he stares at you it's as if the world slows down and everyone goes in slow motion. He'll notice the twinkle in your eyes or how you suddenly shifted to your right. As he's in a trace where his hearts flutters at the sight of you.
His Six Eyes will notice even the tiniest detail about you.
Even in a crowded room his eyes will immediately try to find your form. You're the first person he seeks whenever and wherever.
He likes to boast about you to everyone, especially his students. You're his lover and he's proud to have you.
To him, you're his equal, his safe haven. You're the only person he can truly let his guard down with. You love him not because "he's the strongest shaman" but just as "Satoru" and that's something he thinks about that makes him feel all warm inside.
You're his everything, he wouldn't know what would he do if he ever loses you. If Gojou truly loves you he will fully commit to it.
You and Gojou didn't exactly start off on the right foot.
You thought he was too arrogant and annoying.
While he thought you were weak and boring.
You quickly proved that wrong, and his perception of you changed. He would often tease you and find opportunities to spar with you.
You slowly started to grow on each other from rivals to lovers.
He's still annoying though.
B= Bestie (Do they act like best friends while dating? How comfortable are they with you?)
Why absolutely! You guys are lovers at the same time bestfriends.
Gojou is very comfortable around you. He's pretty confident man already but when he's around you there's no breaks for this man.
He will do the wackiest and craziest things just see you laugh and smile.
You both tell each other everything, such as recent turn of events or even student gossip. He loves to gossip.
You can expect him to wake you up at 2 am just to go to McDonald's while blasting music from the car while you both sing on top of your lungs.
Of course there will be moments where both have arguments or disagreements but they don't last long. They get solved pretty easily.
"Wanna get icecream?"
"Fine, but you're playing."
Gojou can be quite obnoxious at times and you're not afraid to let him know. He doesn't listen and still annoy you anyways.
But now you should be used to his antics and don't take them too seriously.
There is no such thing as a boundary for this man.
He can literally become your safe haven during sad times or hell as he tickles you until you cry.
C= Cuddles (How often do they cuddle? How are they when they cuddle? What cuddle position do they like best? Are they the Big Spoon or Little Spoon?)
If he could, Gojou would always want to be cuddling with you. Whenever and wherever you both are.
He loves the feeling of having you in his arms or him in your arms. His home is where your arms are. It's one of the moments where his Infinity isn't activated.
He wrap his long limps around you and bring you as physically close as possible so he can nuzzle against you or press kisses to you.
Whenever he's in a cuddling mood or he's feeling stressed he'll come to find you and pull you to the nearest chair. He'll have you sit in his lap while he embraces you tightly. He won't go until he's satisfied too!
He usually prefers to be the bigger spoon, he likes the idea that you're safe within his arms. Sometimes he'll just stare at you while you sleep, smiling to himself as he drifts off to sleep.
If you're both in bed you must cuddle! It's a rule he made up.
He doesn't being the little spoon either, he loves the feeling of when you playing with hair. He truly feels comfortable and vulnerable within your arms.
He can't decide with position he likes best, he just likes the feeling of your body close to his.
D= Domestic (Are they willing to settle down with you? Are they willing to do chores? What do you two do at home?)
Gojou never thought he would settle down. That is until he met you!
With his busy and dangerous lifestyle, he thought he would spend the rest of his days alone.
Being with him, is a huge risk. The higher ups or the enemies would use you as a bargaining chip.
After lots of convincing, that you'll promise to be by his side forever. You'll have his heart now and forever.
Gojou when he's at home...he's lazy. He'll be munching on some snacks, lying on the sofa while you hang the laundry.
Somedays he's tired from work, so you let him be but if he really isn't doing anything. Some threats work really well on him.
"If you don't don't do the laundry, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight!"
"Then I'm off to do it!"
Having growing up with servants, he's not used to doing household chores.
But he will try, because he doesn't want you take take on the full workload. Teach him, he's a fast learner!
At home, within your arms is where he feels safest. Majority of the time you two would be in contact with each other one way or another.
You're watching tv? He's sitting you with his arm around your shoulder. If you're cooking, he'll come and unexpectedly hug you from behind. This man craves your touch.
Watching movies or television is something you both do very often, you'll both be snuggled up together, while Gojou throws commentary here and there.
Cooking or baking is another thing you both do. Majority of the time you both rarely get to spend together due to Gojou's work schedule. Who ever arrives home first will have to make dinner. However, you two are both at home you both help each other make a delicious dessert or meal. Nothing like eating a home cooked meal together.
Playing video games together is a must! You're his player number 2. He's very competitive so if he wins, it's non stop boasting but if he loses he demands an immediate rematch. Mario Kart or Super Smash Brothers is some the common ones you both play.
E= Endeavor (Are they supportive in you trying to do something? Will they help you reach for it?)
Gojou Satoru is known to be your literal hype man.
He will be very supportive of you and what you're trying to accomplish. As long as it's not something like becoming a murder. He's gonna have to do a double take on that.
If you're gonna become a piano, he'll have a grand piano delivered straight to your home. If you're gonna become an artist, he will buy you the best art supplies.
As they say "live your life to the fullest" and Gojou completely agrees with that statement.
If you're trying to learn something new, he will be encouraging you. There are times where he can be a little but don't take it to heart. He just wants you to improve and sugarcoating things isn't always the best way to improve.
If you're feeling down but you're trying to achieve, he'll be there to comfort you and motivate you.
"Things won't always go your way, but I promise I'll be there to cheer you on."
If you're trying to learn a new skill, he might have a go at it too. He's a fast learner but if he doesn't or can't do something, he'll just blame it on the fact that if he does it then he's gonna become perfect so he chooses not to. It's just to save his huge ego.
F= Fights (How often do you guys fight? Who apologizes first? How long will the fight last? What is the reason behind the fight?)
You guys argue pretty often but they're mostly about trival issues. Like Gojou forgot to take out the trash or who cooks today.
If you both do fight seriously. It would definitely have to do with "work". Because of Gojou's busy schedule you're not sure when will he be back home or when he will be gone. If you both have very different schedules it would definitely lead to some misunderstandings.
If you realize you did something wrong you'll apologize to him right away. While he spouts things like "I told you so!" but he's only teasing.
If he realizes he did something wrong it'll take him a while for him to admit it. Depending on the seriousness of the situation his apology will differ.
If it's something trivial, he'll just pepper you with kisses while says sorry a hundred times.
If it's serious, he'll fully embrace you and apologize, straight to the point no needless words.
Trivial fights don't last long but serious one may take time. Depending on who's wrong or right.
Gojou is a stubborn person so even if he's wrong it'll take him a while to admit it. Maybe days or a week but no longer than that. After all he can't resist not being around you.
G= Guard (Are they protective of you? How protective are they? Are they willing to risk themselves to save you?)
This depends whether you're a shaman or a civilian.
If you are a civilian, he will be very protective of you. You don't have the ability to see curses so who knows what or when can hurt you.
He'll take sure to put lots of talismans and barriers around your home for safety.
Gojou due to his busy work schedule won't always be home or be around you. During these days he's worried sick about you.
He'll be sure to message or call you whenever he can to check up on you.
If he truly senses you're in danger, no matter what he'll go to you instantly. After that happens he'll more frightened of losing you and might resort to leaving you.
Despite how much he loves you, you're life is more precious than him. He can't risk that by being around you.
If you're a shaman just like him, he won't be as protective over you. He'll understand and trust that you'll be able to defend yourself.
He'll make sure to spar with you so that you won't lose in touch in fighting.
Even though he knows you can take care of yourself, in his heart he still worries for you. So he may or may not pop up randomly during your missions and exorcise the curse immediately.
You may end up getting annoyed or mad at him because you may think he thinks you're weak but that's not the case. He just loves you and worries about you.
Whether you're a civilian or shaman, Gojou will 100% risk his life to save you. He's lost so many people, he can't afford lose you too.
If you're out in public, he'll be sure to be holding your hand or have an arm around your waist. He'll glare at anyone who looks at you funny through his sunglasses.
Gojou has a massive presence so good luck to anyone who tries to approach you. They gotta get through him first.
H= Healing (What is their reaction in you getting hurt? Do they get hurt often? Do they help you patching you up? Or do they not know how to patch you up, and tries their hardest?)
Gojou hates seeing you hurt in anyway. Even if it's a tiny wound. It's kinda like if you're hurt he's hurt too. That's his way of thinking.
If you get injured during a mission, you can bet Gojou will be all over you.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"For the hundred time, yes..."
Despite your assurance that are fine, he'll still insist to take you to Shoko just to be safe.
If it's a trivial wound like you accidentally cut yourself or you stubbed your toe. Gojou will be the one to take care of the wound. He does have basic knowledge on how to treat wounds.
If it's a severe wound, he'll instantly bring you to Shoko. He'll teleport all the way from Hokkaido to Tokyo if he has to.
He doesn't know how to use the Reverse Cursed Technique but at the moment when you're dying in his arms he will try his best to.
He will literally become your human shield if he knows things are dire.
If he sees an enemy wound you, well it's gonna be game over for the enemy. Instant oblivion.
It is known that Gojou has his Infinity activated at all times, so he doesn't ever get hurt whether from missions or trivial issues.
Very rare but when he does turn off his Infinity he can get hurt but it's because he let's it happen.
He still gets sick from time to time because that's something his Infinity can't protect him from.
I= Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do you two often go on dates?)
Gojou as we all know is very affectionate and romantic person.
He's very cheesy and likes to tease you just to see you blush.
He can't keep his hands off of you, he has to be touching you even just by lacing your fingers together. He also likes to stand near you often behind you or right beside you.
Gojou goes all over Japan for his missions and he makes sure to always bring a souvenir home for you whether it's a little trinket or something you'll like. Definitely will buy sweets, he'll share just a little though.
You'll often be surprised with deliveries of bouquets at work addressed to you but not written from who but you know who it is.
This man is extremely rich, so you ever have an eye on something, he'll secretly buy it for you.
When you're cold, he'll give you his jacket or hug you to keep you warm. If you're feeling hot under the sun, use this man as your personal shade. He doesn't mind.
It's rare for the both of you to have day offs at the same time so it's always something special to him.
He'll either take you out shopping or a cafe date.
He loves going around Tokyo with you to different places and secretly takes pictures of you when you're not looking.
If you don't feel like going anywhere he's fine with just cuddling you while watching a movie.
Gojou just has a sense for you if you're feeling down or stressed. He'll instantly know and would try to make you feel better.
He can cook your favorite meal or even give you a massage.
He's not shy to show the world how much he loves you, everyone in the Jujutsu society knows about you two.
J= Jealousy (How often do they get jealous? Do they get easily jealous? How will they react?)
Gojou doesn't get jealous easily. He trusts you and knows the things you do and won't do. However, on rare occasions it does happen but he won't directly voice it out.
"I'm the strongest most handsome shaman ever!" But behind that he still has insecurities. It usually depends on the person you're interacting with. If he sees you getting a little too close to someone, he'll step inーcausally stepping in between the two of you. A hand around your waist around strangers and a full on back hug around people he knows.
If a stranger tries to pick you up, he'll swoop right in towering the poor stranger. He knows he's attractive and he knows show to use it.
"Pay attention to me (Y/N), not Nanami!.
"Satoru, we're talking the recent sighting of a grade 1 cursed spirit."
Afterwards he'll just be very whiny and needy, he wants your full attention on him and him only!
K= Kissing (Do they like kissing you? Are they shy or confident in kissing you?)
Gojou Satoru loves all forms of affection. Kissing being one of them.
Gojou has had experience with kissing so he knows what he's doing. One moment he'll be kissing you sweetly then it turns into a full blown make out session.
He's not embarrassed about kissing you in public. Despite the Japanese culture of being conservative of PDA. He won't be making out with you in front of the entire crosswalk but he'll give you pecks or smooches that last a moment or two.
Whenever he leaves for work, he'll always ask for his goodbye kiss or when he's back home he'll be eagerly waiting for your kiss.
Whenever you both pass by each other whether at home or at school, he'll press a chaste kiss to you.
His tongue is divine, he definitely knows how to use his tongue. You can bet he knows how to tie a cherry into a knot using just his tongue.
You will always taste something sweet lingering on him as you kiss him.
He doesn't have a specific type of kiss he likes, he likes them all as long as they're with you. Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, eskimo kisses you name it!
He will definitely will to try out all forms of kisses with you.
L= Love (Who drops the L-word first? Would they rather say it or do it?)
Love is a complicated feeling, Gojou hasn't felt that before with any of his past relationships.
That was until he met you. That's when he realized that what the feeling was.
You were cuddling in bed together, face to face. There was no talking just silence as the two of you stare deeply into each other's eyes. Only the light of the moonlight peaking through the curtains illuminating the room.
Gojou stares into your eyes with a soft smile on his face as he gently lays his hand on your cheek.
Your eyes held the universe within them, the universe that is you and it's staring back at him with so much love and affection within them. He feels the warmth spread throughout his body. He whispers softly "I love you..." as his own eyes reflect yours.
You gasp with eyes widening, processing the words he spoke. You feel your eyes well up in tears, as your cheeks warm. You place your hand over his and whisper back "I love you too.." smiling brightly at him.
That was the moment when he first told you he loved you, it was so genuine and raw.
Afterwards he'll always voice out that he loves you but of course he shows it as well. He'll call you beautiful while pressing a kiss to your forehead.
M= Marriage (How do they propose to you? What’s their ideal wedding like? Where do you plan it?)
Gojou is a very spontaneous man, I can imagine him doing it during the most mundane and random moments. Such as after you're both walking home from a date or maybe it's late into the night while you're both cuddling.
Maybe moments where you're hurt or if he almost lost you.
"Marry me, (Y/N)..."
It's just a spur of the moment kind of thing, when he's the most vulnerable. When he realizes "ah, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person..."
Gojou is pretty flexible with the kind of wedding he wants. He doesn't really have a dream wedding.
The elders of his clan would definitely bug him for a Traditional one as it is customary.
However, if you want a Western style wedding instead he will definitely go for it.
Mostly likely, you both will have two weddings one traditional and western.
Money is different not an issue with this man. Say the word and you shall receive. It's definitely going to be extravagant.
Whether you want to or not he'll find a way to splurge his money.
If the elders are opposed to your marriage you'll both will just have a private wedding, inviting the people closest to you guys.
Not marrying you because someone said no is not an option for him.
N= Nicknames (What do they call you? Do they call you these in public as well? How often do they call you in nicknames?)
Gojou has a variety of nicknames for you!
Ranging from the typical baby, babe, sweetie, darling and honey.
Or something more sweet such as princess/prince, my love, my dearest.
And there's those really cringey ones such as sugarpie, cupcake, my strawberry cheesecake.
He will literally call you by any dessert name.
"Hey, my kikufuku!" Yup, that's you.
If you're shorter than him you can add shorty, short stuff or munchkin to the list.
When he uses them usually depends on the situation. If he's feeling really affectionate or needy he'll be using the really sweet nicknames.
Sometimes he'll even come up with the most ridiculous ones as much as it embarrasses you.
Usually he'll just call you using the common nicknames. He will only use your real name during serious situations.
He's not shy about proclaiming you as his chocolate cupcake. Not even in front of his students or colleagues.
"Are you referring to (L/N) sensei?" "Bingo!"
You've tried to beg him to stop but the man doesn't listen.
O= Open (How open are they with you? Are they willing to share their secrets and past with you? Do they trust you?)
Gojou despite being a man who loves to talk does not like talking about his private life or his past.
It's very personal information to him and he doesn't want the information to fall into the wrong hands.
If anyone asks about it he'll either ignore the question or answer it very vaguely.
You would have to be someone has spent years by his side to be to attain that level of trust with you.
There are some things in his past that isn't easy to talk about, even though it doesn't bother him now. If you ask he will tell you about it briefly.
If it's information not regarding his secrets or his past, he doesn't sharing those details. If you wanna about his mission or want to check his phone, he will let you. He has nothing to hide except the secret pictures he takes of you.
He in return trusts you as well, but he won't pry into things you don't want to talk about.
If you manage to gain his trust enough for him to reveal personal information about him, don't break it. If you do, you will never be able to gain it back.
P= PDA (Are they into PDA? Do they often do it? Their reaction if you hold their hands or kiss them in public.)
Gojou is into PDA but he doesn't flaunt it as often as you think. He won't be making out with you in the middle of the school hallway but he will press chaste kisses to you.
He's not afraid to hug you or hold your hand around the faculty or students.
He won't do something inappropriate in public he likes to keep that in private. Through sometimes he will because he likes seeing you embarrassed while you desperately ask him to stop. Trying not to gain the attention of the people around you.
He also likes seeing the reactions of other people when he does display affection towards you but mostly he does it to see your cute reactions.
If you initiate hand holding with him, he will definitely hold your hand back tightly. If you kiss him, he'll be surprised but then he's quick to tease you about it.
"Oya, is my cupcake getting bold~?"
If anyone looks at you two with disgust he will yell out "you got a problem?"
He's not shy to show the world he loves you.
Q= Quirk (Do they find your quirks adorable or odd? Do they tell you or not? Do they have a quirk of their own?)
Nothing escapes his keen eyesight. He'll notice and remember a lot of your quirks even the ones you're unconsciously doing.
He thinks its absolutely adorable, like how you furrow your eyebrows in concentration how you pout when you're deep in thought.
All these little quirks make you who you are and he adores them.
Gojou will tell you about them of course, even if you try to deny it. If you don't believe he'll try to take a picture to show you which ends up making you really embarrassed.
"I can't help it, I don't even know that I'm doing that..." you whisper with a blush on your face.
Gojou has a quirk of fiddling with his blindfold or his sunglasses if he's wearing them.
Definitely a fan of putting his hands in his jacket or hands while he stands or walks. He doesn't like the feeling of his hands being empty.
R= Reliable (Are they loyal? How loyal are they? Are they there for you when you need someone?)
Gojou is a very honest and down to earth kind of guy. Of course, loyalty is something he firmly commits to.
Cheating is something he won't resort to at all costs. No woman or man is tempting enough for him to be swayed.
We all know he is a good looking guy, he's bound to attract suitors anywhere but he'll turn them all down. He already has you, why would he need anyone else?
There are times where you might feel insecure or jealous but Gojou will always be there to assure you not to. He'll do his best to comfort you, until you're smiling again.
"You're the only one I need..."
During these times he'll even share his precious sweets with you. He'll feed you cake while hugging you from behind.
Have faith in him because whenever you need him, he'll make sure to be there.
S= Solace (How do they comfort you? Do they immediately notice you being sad?)
Gojou just has sense whenever you're feeling sad, even though you try your hardest to hide it.
He just sees through your facade. He won't ask if you're okay when he clearly knows you'll try to lie about it.
If you're trying to avoid him, he'll either pin you against the wall or pull you into his embrace.
He'll be silent as he takes off his blindfold to stare deep into your eyes, how could you lie when those eyes are looking straight at you.
He won't ask you about what's bothering you but he will always be there to comfort you.
Gojou would pull you into his lap on his expensive chair and cradle you like child as he gently caresses your hair.
Ligerning forehead kisses is also he does to comfort you.
Gojou would also bring his sweets stash and slowly feed you some while he hugs you from behind. If you want food, he'll be glad to cook up your favorite meal.
He knows a lot of cringy and cheesy jokes, in which ends up with him laughing at his own jokes. His laughter is contagious so wouldn't be able to hold back a smile after that.
T= Turn-off (What do they dislike in people? What is their turn-off?)
Gojou hates the old way of thinking he finds in elders especially the elders of his clan and the jujutsu society.
He doesn't like anything anything serious or boring. If you're too uptight, he'll find a way to break that.
Another thing he hates is when people do something behind his back or say something behind his back. If you have something to say, then say it straight it to him.
Routine is another thing he dislikes, he's very spontaneous and looks for the fun in things.
He dislikes vegetables and anything bitter. He's a lover of sweets afterall!
Prying too much into his personal life, as proud as he isーhe doesn't like going around talking much about his private life or his past.
U= Umbrageous (Do they easily get offended by what you said? How will they react when you get hurt by what they said?)
Now if you mean playful gets offended then the answer would be yes. If you're seriously trying to offend him, he won't. He's not the type to take things like that to heart.
Call him an idiot, a narcissist, he will playful hold his chest in pain and whine to you while he pouts.
He'll even tease you back if he feels like it.
"Sorry, did you say something~?"
Even though he doesn't take insults to heart, if you use his past against him, he will take offense to it. His past is something he doesn't want to bring up so if you or anyone brings it up. That changes things.
He tries to keep the optimism but he's only human with emotions so there will be times you could offend him.
If you managed to offend him, he'll be unusually quiet as he dwells on your words.
He won't resort to anger but that doesn't mean he won't at times. That's when he's firing insults back you, blinded by rage. He will regret it afterwards though.
V= Vision (What do they imagine their future? What is their dream? Do they want to spend it with you?)
If Gojou truly loves you, he'll definitely would want to spend the rest of his life with you by his side. Somewhere where he doesn't have to be on guard and would always welcome him with open arms.
Yet at the same time he is afraid of the dangers that come associated with him. If you're a civilian he'll try to distance himself away from you. He's afraid one day when he's not around, someone might come after you. His world is completely different from that of a normal person's afterall.
If you work in the same field as him. He'll definitely be more reluctant to push you away, because he knows you can handle yourself. It lessens his worries.
Still life as a shaman is still as dangerous, you're putting your lives at risk every time you go on a mission. The thought of losing you scares him to the very core.
Despite that he still loves you and if can't be with you he would like to associated with you someway maybe as acquaintances or friends.
He dreams of a world without cursed spirits, where he can live a peaceful life, settle down and start a family with you.
In a world crowded with darkness he dreams of a single ray of solace that is you.
Someone that will stay by his side no matter how difficult it will be.
W= Wacky (What is their reaction in you doing something crazy? Will they join you or stop you?)
Gojou Satoru is a man child, he does the most ridiculous of things like wearing a skirt of a highschool student.
If you're the type of person who's just as energetic and wild as him, it's going to be chaos.
You both will pull pranks on the students and faculty. Poor Ijichi being one of your primary targets.
If you're the type of person who's more on the serious side then he'll be shocked by your suggestion.
But of course he's willing to join in whatever plot you have.
Gojou already gives the higher ups a headache, if you're added to the mix it's going to end up being a massive headache.
He lost count of the amount of times he got scolded by Principal Yaga.
He can come up with the wildest ideas and sometimes you will have to become his break.
Principal Yaga specifically asked you to keep him in check after all.
X= Xtra (Random Headcannon about them)
Gojou Satoru has a driver's license. In fact he even owns several cars.
Of course, they're all the expensive ones because he thinks they look cool.
Does he use them? Not that often, when you literally have the ability to teleport or have Ijichi to drive you around.
As you expect he's a fast driver, you will literally be griping your seatbelt for dear life. It looks like he's gonna crash but he won't. He just likes to scare you.
Of course there's a stash of candy and extra pairs of sunglasses in the glovebox.
Gojou is surprisingly a great cook. You would think being raised with servants he wouldn't know how to cook but he does.
He studies the recipe very carefully and cooks. It's as if he has a natural talent for cooking.
At first, you were pretty skeptical of his cooking but once you had of bite of his dish. You could feel the literal flavors explode on your tongue.
When it's his turn for him to cook, expect him to be wearing a cute apron while blasting music from his speaker.
He'll be singing and dancing in the kitchen.
Hug him from behind while he cooks and he'll melt right then and there. Trying to hide a blush from you.
Y= Yearning (Do they long for you? Will they find themselves missing you while you’re away? If so, how will they cope with it?)
Even though you haven't seen each other for a day he terribly miss you. Your just gives him warm and when you're not there he feels cold.
He goes on missions very often and they can last days or even weeks depending on the case. He'll try to update you as much as he can on when he could come home.
Even when he's in the middle of fighting cursed spirits, he'll find his mind wondering towards you.
If he's away from you, you'll be getting calls and texts from him quite frequently. He'll make sure to always greet you good morning or good night and ask how you are.
He'll always ask if you've eaten or not and asks you to send a picture of your meal to prove it to him. He needs to know you're being well fed.
If you think he talks too much he texts just as much. He'll even take random selfies of himself or something interesting he wants you to see.
If you send him a selfie or video he'll save that so fast and save that to his folder. So he can look through them whenever he misses you.
If it's a long mission, he might pack one of your shirts which has your scent so he could take a whiff to calm himself or cuddle as he sleeps.
After a mission if he's not tired yet, he'll video call you every now and then.
He'll try to come back as fast as possible because he doesn't feel complete without your presence.
Z= Zzz (Do they fall asleep easily? Do they move around while sleeping? What sleeping position do they like best?)
If we are talking about the past Gojou, maybe around his youth then no. He had difficulty sleeping because sleeping meant he's vulnerable to attacks.
This is why relies mostly on sweets to stimulate his brain because there are days where he can't sleep at all. His powers drain a lot of energy to keep up.
Once he could run Infinity automatically, he doesn't have any trouble sleeping at all. In fact, he passes out instantly once his head hits the pillow.
The man works hard and goes on tons of missions so of course he's bound to be tired when he gets home.
Gojou Satoru is 190 cm tall so of course he has a large king sized bed at home. He likes having a lot of space but he tends to move around a lot unconsciously.
There have been times where he has fallen off the bed as well.
If you're sleeping with him and want to prevent him from taking all the bed space, you both cuddle that way his limbs are locked on you.
His likes to sleep laying on his back while you lay on your chest or embracing you from behind as you both sleep on your sides.
It's very rare from him to snore but that doesn't mean he doesn't and when he does, it's loud.
However sleeping with him has it's benefits, if you wake up before him you'll be graced by the most angelic view. As he breathes softy while his long white eye lashes remain closed.
If he does wake up you will also be graced by his morning voice which is divine.
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojou satoru#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen gojo#sfw alphabet gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk imagines#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#500 followers event#skipps writes
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hey alle, so for the prompts i'd love some cute and funny winteriron with bucky wanting to impress tony with his cooking, but tony being a very picky eater. which leads to a lot of frustration on bucky's side, and obliviousness on what is even going on from tony's. if you feel like it. thank you! <3
Here it is! The long-awaited His Girl FRIDAY remix! I hope you love this as much as I do!
As always, everything I write is on ao3 too
~
The first time Bucky left food in Tony’s workshop and come back to find it untouched, he’d figured it was a fluke. Tony had probably been caught up in a zone—like Steve had warned him about when Bucky had decided he was going to woo Tony with food—and hadn’t noticed the food was even there.
The second time, he made sure to catch Tony’s attention as he was dropping off the plate—lasagna because Natalia had said Tony’s mother was Italian and Bucky made a pretty decent lasagna if he did say so. Tony had glanced at him and then at the plate before turning away with a slightly bewildered frown. Bucky had taken the frown to mean that no one else had ever bothered before to take care of Tony, which was a fact that had just about broken his heart, and left the plate there. He’d gone back later that night to find the lasagna untouched. That had been a little harder to explain away, but he’d eventually decided that maybe Tony was one of those food snobs who only liked Italian food made by actual Italians.
The third time he made oatmeal with a little bit of honey and cream, perfect for someone with as much of a sweet tooth as Tony had, and brought it into the workshop for Tony, who had spent the entire night working on new arrows for Clint.
“Tony?” he called softly, not wanting to startle him. Tony was uncomfortable enough with all the new people moving into the tower after everything with SHIELD and Hydra; being Hydra’s pet assassin, he didn’t want to make it worse by sneaking up on him. “I brought you some breakfast.”
Tony popped up from underneath a table, visibly brightening. “Oh good,” he said cheerfully, making grabby hands at the bowl. “I was just starting to get hungry.” His hair was mussed, two perfect rings of black smeared around his eyes, likely where the goggles currently perched on top of his head had been resting earlier.
Bucky smiled at the adorable display and held out the bowl. Tony eagerly grabbed it, only to blink at it as soon as he saw what was in it.
“Oatmeal?” he asked delicately.
“I thought you’d appreciate having something a little more delicate after not eating for a while,” Bucky explained.
“…Oh.” After another awkward moment, Tony said carefully, “Thanks.”
Satisfied, Bucky left him to his work. This time—this time—Tony would eat it all and then he’d see what an amazing cook Bucky was and how he would absolutely be able to provide for Tony and then he’d swoon into Bucky’s arms and demand that Bucky take him right there.
Okay maybe not right there—the workshop didn’t seem like the best location for amorous activities—but that was why they called it a fantasy, right?
Too bad Tony punctured that fantasy like a balloon.
Bucky went back downstairs long to pick up the bowl after Tony had come up to the common areas, yawning widely and telling everyone he was heading to bed for the next twenty-four hours so don’t bother him unless New York was on fire. It had been a bit of a disappointment that he’d just nodded at Bucky without saying anything about the breakfast or about his everlasting feelings for him, but not nearly as much of a disappointment to walk into the workshop to find the bowl as untouched as all the other meals he’d so painstakingly prepared.
~
“I don’t get it,” he whined to Sam later that day. “I’m a good cook.”
Sam gave him an unimpressed look. “Are you sure? It’s been, what, seventy years since the last time you made anything. Maybe you’re not as good as you used to be.”
Bucky gasped dramatically. “You take that back!”
“No. You promised me you’d offer dating advice with Natasha and instead you’re sitting here mooning over Tony’s ass again so I’ll say whatever I like about your cooking.”
“Sorry,” he muttered guiltily. Sam was right. He had promised that. Or, rather, Steve had promised advice and Bucky had taken one look at him still pining over Peggy and feeling weird about his current interest being Peggy’s niece (a valid way to feel) and declared him hopeless before telling Sam that he would help him out instead. After all, he remembered Natalia from the years she’d spent training with him during her childhood. Who else would be more qualified to teach Sam how to woo her? Well, besides Clint obviously, but he was taking some personal time away from the team.
“She likes the ballet,” he said. “She wanted to be a ballerina when she was younger, said they were as graceful as any Widow only they didn’t have to kill.”
“And you’re sure that won’t just make her sad?” Sam asked dubiously.
Bucky glared at him. “I might not like you very much—” Sam rolled his eyes—"But I like Natalia a whole lot. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. Take her to the ballet and take Steve and Sharon while you’re at it. A double date will help her feel less trapped and maybe Steve will stop moping and ask Sharon out.”
“It’s a little weird, you know.”
“Sure, but he kissed Peggy once and it’s not like he’s ever gonna go back to the war and live out the rest of his time there, so he might as well move on.”
Sam laughed. “Guess that’s true.” He sighed, smile fading away. “I don’t know why Tony’s ignoring your meals. Sorry about that though. It sucks.”
“If I may,” JARVIS cut in. Both of them jumped, though Bucky would deny to his dying day that he yelped. Sam, on the other hand, shrieked like a kid and Bucky reminded himself to go back and access the audio footage so he would have blackmail.
“Sorry, JARVIS,” he apologized. “Keep forgetting you’re up there. Didn’t exactly have AI back during the war.”
“Or even in other houses,” Sam added.
“My apologies,” JARVIS said, and he’ll be damned if JARVIS didn’t sound extremely apologetic. It was incredible, really, how much life Tony imbued in his creations. “I only wanted to offer my advice about Sergeant Barnes’ attempts at wooing Sir.”
“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked. “Go right ahead. Can’t be any worse than any of the other advice I’ve gotten.” Seriously, Clint had even suggested truth serum, like that wasn’t the worst idea ever suggested.
“Sir is an extremely picky eater,” JARVIS explained. “He does not enjoy cooked tomatoes, ricotta cheese, or the texture of oatmeal.”
…All of which had been in at least one of the meals he’d prepared for Tony.
“Fuck.”
JARVIS wryly said, “Indeed.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”
“You requested that I remain inactive on your floor while you were recovering. But you’re in Sergeant Wilson’s quarters at the moment so I may share my expertise.”
He had said that, hadn’t he? It had been in the early days when he was still having trouble remembering what he’d said moments earlier, but he had a vague recollection of being overwhelmed by the idea of constant monitoring and asking if JARVIS could be turned off.
“Wow, way to go, Barnes,” Sam commented, hiding a grin behind his hand.
“Fuck,” he said again, more emphatically. “Best tool at my disposal and I’m not even using it. JARVIS, I bet you could tell me all sorts of things about Tony.”
He got the impression that if the AI could sniff, he would have. “I would not dare to air Sir’s ‘dirty laundry’ so to speak.”
“No, no,” Bucky said, waving his metal hand. The hand made a concerning grinding sound and he frowned. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d probably need to ask someone to take a look at it. Sam was capable of performing basic maintenance, and Bucky trusted him not to sabotage the arm, but anything worse and he’d have to go ask Tony about it.
“Not what I meant,” he continued. “Just that you could tell me what Tony likes and doesn’t like. Uh, how do I turn you back on in my floor?”
“Your request is sufficient,” JARVIS said.
“Great. I’ll meet you up there in a bit. We’re gonna make something so incredible Tony will have to fall in love with me.”
“Yeah, good luck with that,” Sam said, kicking his feet up onto the newly vacated spot on the couch now that Bucky was standing. “I’m going to see if I can find reasonably priced tickets to the ballet.”
Bucky blinked. “I think you’re gonna have worse luck than me.”
Sam threw a shoe at him.
~
On JARVIS’ advice, he baked blueberry muffins because those were apparently Tony’s favorite fruit. Bucky didn’t really understand it. Frankly, he thought blueberries were almost as bad as bananas—nasty, taste-changing fruit that they were—but if Tony loved them, then he would be willing to have them in his kitchen for as long as it took to bake the muffins. Fortunately, he was just as good a baker as he was a cook, so it was a breeze to whip up a delicious batch that had him grateful he couldn’t get salmonella from the mix.
Unfortunately, Tony hated the muffins. Or that’s what Bucky gathered when he went to pick the plate up, hoping that it would be empty for the first time, and found it just as untouched as everything else had been.
“What the fuck, JARVIS?” he complained. “You said he liked blueberries.”
“I don’t know, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS said, sounding as baffled as Bucky felt. “Sir has always appreciated them.”
That, Bucky reflected later that night, was possibly to be expected. For all that JARVIS had the inhuman ability to remember literally everything he’d ever seen or heard, he was still just a program. He couldn’t necessarily extrapolate about preferences or tastes. For all either of them knew, Tony did like blueberries but didn’t like muffins or something. It didn’t really explain why JARVIS knew that Tony didn’t like cooked tomatoes, but maybe that could be explained by Tony mentioning it out loud and the other stuff, JARVIS had had to figure out on his own.
He sat up in bed, thinking about it. Maybe that was it: Tony didn’t like muffins. But there had to be other recipes out there that used blueberries that Tony would like. In fact, he was pretty sure he’d come across a blueberry cupcake with brown butter frosting recipe earlier that day. And Bucky didn’t know anyone who could say no to his brown butter. He was incredible at it, and that was being modest. Just the other day, Thor had declared the brown butter sauce he’d made for their chicken to be worthy of an Asgardian feast. Thor was a god. He probably knew things like that.
“JARVIS, you up?” he asked into the dark room.
“Always, Sergeant Barnes.”
“You don’t gotta keep callin’ me that. Bucky’s my name. I’d rather answer to that.”
“Very well, Bucky.”
“Could you pull up some other recipes with blueberries in the flavor profile please? Filter out anything that has something Tony doesn’t like and recipes similar enough to each other that they could be repeats, uh, let’s say anything with a higher than 85% similarity.”
When JARVIS was finished compiling his list, there was a lot less than what Bucky had hoped for, but it was still something he could work with. He looked through the list: cupcakes, pancakes, cookies, more than a few salads, something called a Panzanella. He starred the ones he thought would catch Tony’s interest the most, putting the others aside to possibly try later down the road. Content with his plan, he laid back down, falling asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.
~
None of it worked. Despite his supposed love for blueberries, Tony continued to turn away everything Bucky made for him. So he branched out, trying other foods that JARVIS said Tony was fond of. Nothing came back with more than a couple bites taken out of it and Tony had taken to giving him worried looks every time he appeared at the workshop door with another plate. Bucky was starting to lose hope that he was ever going to woo Tony with food and that was… not great.
Traditional dates were pretty close to impossible. Despite his rapid recovery in the tower, going outside was still too frightening with the crowds of New York, the inability to pick out threats around him, and the lack of sightlines all driving Bucky back inside and to the highest floors of the tower where he could look out over everything.
And as for anything else, well, Bucky was an ex-brainwashed assassin with no money to his name and only half the social skills he used to have (Sam said he had more than he thought but arguing with Sam wasn’t like trying to get someone to like him). He didn’t have much else to offer other than making food and giving Tony a project to work on. The first wasn’t going well and the second made Bucky feel too much like he was taking advantage of Tony to use more than once or twice.
Disheartened, he made his way up to Natalia’s floor to ask her for advice. She and Tony got along almost as well as she got along with Clint. Maybe she would have insights that JARVIS wasn’t able to offer. As he neared her room, though, he realized that she wasn’t alone.
“—to kill me,” someone—Tony, Bucky realized almost immediately—was saying. He stiffened. Who was trying to kill Tony? Bucky would kill them first! Was murder a good way to woo Tony?
“котенок,” Natalia said patiently, “he’s not trying to kill you.”
“You don’t know that!” Tony exclaimed wildly. He sounded like he was pacing. “He could be! He keeps bringing me things everyone knows I won’t eat.”
And now Natalia sounded amused as she said, “Antoshka, I don’t think he’d be trying to feed you if he wanted to kill you. It’s more likely an honest mistake.”
“It could be poison.”
“It’s not poison.”
“You don’t know that. You haven’t tried any of it.”
“It’s not poison because that’s more my style than it is James’.”
Oh, they were talking about him. Tony thought Bucky was trying to kill him. “Fuck,” he said mournfully, leaning up against the wall. No wonder Tony wouldn’t touch any of the food he made for him.
“Well, I don’t see why else he’s bringing me food!” Tony said.
“Really? Not a single reason?”
“It’s food I won’t eat! He clearly doesn’t like me or he’d be bringing me actual food I like.”
“Does he know why you won’t eat it?”
“No, but why does that matter?”
“Tony, darling, have you ever once informed him that you have a sensory processing disorder and you won’t eat a lot of cooked foods because you can’t handle the texture?”
Bucky straightened back up. Tony has a what? He’d never even heard of that before. Why didn’t JARVIS say something? He thought back to when he’d been building the list of blueberry foods and how he’d wondered if JARVIS didn’t necessarily know about the pattern for Tony’s likes and dislikes in his food. Maybe JARVIS hadn’t known about Tony’s disorder, so he hadn’t known to tell Bucky about it. That made the most amount of sense to him though he couldn’t imagine why Tony had never told his AI about his disorder.
“Why would I tell him that?” Tony asks, sounding confused.
He could just picture Natalia shaking her head as she said, “Oh, Antoshka.”
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Armed with his new knowledge, Bucky crept away from the door, already planning out new meals to bring to Tony.
~
That very night, he went downstairs with a bowl of salad. It had nuts to provide a small amount of protein, though he’d also put some baked chicken in a Tupperware as well, in case that was something Tony could eat. Tony’s music was playing at a manageable volume by the time he got to the workshop, likely because he was drafting plans for some sort of irrigation system, rather than any sort of consideration for Bucky.
Tony caught sight of him before he got the doors open. Bucky watched as his face fell for a moment before he plastered on a bright, fake smile. Hydra’s programming was still too ingrained in him to do anything as obvious as wince, but he still felt a twinge of shame. Why hadn’t he thought to ask Tony what he would like to eat instead of relying on his own preferences?
“Uh,” he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. In his other hand, he held up the Tupperware with the salad bowl on top of it. “I brought you some dinner. It’s just a salad, but I included some baked chicken on the side if you want that. I hope it’s something you like.”
Tony blinked at him. “What?”
“I—okay, I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I overheard you and Natalia earlier. I didn’t know you couldn’t eat anything I was making for you. I wasn’t trying to poison you or anything, just thought you might like some food since you’re down here all the time. Sorry for, you know, eavesdropping and making you think I didn’t like you.”
A cautious smile spread across Tony’s face. “You could have asked JARVIS,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, I did, but I guess he didn’t know you don’t like cooked foods.”
“What?” Tony cocked his head to the side. “No, he should know that.” He spun around in his chair, waving the glowing blue drafts of the irrigation system aside in favor of pulling up JARVIS’ bright golden code. It was a beautiful display, and Bucky found himself moving closer, mesmerized by the sight. He had no idea JARVIS’ code was so complex.
“J, buddy, what happened to your code?” Tony murmured. He reached out a hand, groping for Bucky’s shirt to tug him closer. “Gimme food.”
“So you like salad?” Bucky asked, relieved that he’d finally found something.
“And baked chicken,” Tony added. “But it has to be baked. Otherwise, the texture’s too rubbery for me.”
“I can do that,” he promised. “Do you like breading or marinade with the baked chicken?”
“Marinade, yes. Breading, no.”
“Okay. I’ll remember that.”
Tony paused in tearing through JARVIS’ code to give him a small, genuine smile that made Bucky’s heart light up. He returned the smile, which grew bigger when Tony’s gaze darted down to his lips, snagging there as though caught by the sight. He knew he had a nice mouth; he’d been told that plenty of times back in the forties.
“I have another confession to make,” he said once Tony’s attention returned to the code.
“Uh-huh,” Tony said distractedly.
“I was—”
“There you are!” Tony exclaimed. “J, who made those changes to lines 894 through 1036 in your code?”
JARVIS immediately said, “The last time those lines were accessed was in 2008 by Obadiah Stane.”
Tony’s face fell. “Oh.”
It took Bucky a moment remember who Obadiah Stane was. He’d appeared in one of Bucky’s mission files as the Winter Soldier. Back during the nineties, following Tony’s parents deaths, Tony had been planning on shutting down SI’s weapons manufacturing division. Hydra, who’d been buying black market weapons from Stane for years by that time, had ordered the Winter Soldier to assassinate Tony to give Stane complete control of the company. But before he’d been able to complete his mission, Stane had convinced Tony to see “reason” and Bucky had been put back in cryo. That unfulfilled mission had been one of the reasons he’d been so hesitant to move into the tower before his programming had been completely removed. Steve had tried to push for the move anyway, but before either of them could successfully argue the point, Tony had put out a call to the world’s top experts on brainwashing and three whirlwind weeks later, Bucky’s mind was programming-free. And just like that, without even meeting the guy, Bucky had developed a crush on one Tony Stark.
“Sorry, doll,” he said, dropping a hand to Tony’s shoulder and squeezing it gently.
Tony sighed frustratedly. “Every time I think I’ve taken care of everything Obie fucked up, I find something else he’s done. He was probably hoping I’d starve to death or something without anyone making food to my exacting specifications, that asshole.”
“He sounds pretty terrible,” Bucky agreed.
“J, are you able to access the last backup on those lines to restore them?” Tony asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Okay, let’s get those fixed, and uh—”
“And we’ll go out for dinner,” Bucky interrupted.
“Huh?” Tony asked, turning to look at him.
“Seems I owe you an apology and I figure taking you out for dinner is a little nicer than a salad. ‘Sides, if I take you out, I’ll have a better understanding of what you like to eat.”
“Careful there, Buckaroo, or I’ll start thinking this is supposed to be a date.”
Bucky would probably never know what possessed him to firmly say, “Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.” He certainly hadn’t planned to. He really had been planning on their dinner being a way to figure out what Tony liked so he could make it himself and continue with his wooing process from there, hopefully slowly easing Tony into believing that Bucky really did like him and wasn’t trying to poison him.
“Sorry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”
Tony stared at him, then abruptly said, “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That this is supposed to be a date.”
He could deny it and go back to his original plan. He’d probably even be able to pull off a lie like that. But there was a hopeful look in Tony’s eyes that stopped him from denying anything.
“You didn’t even know that I liked you until five minutes ago,” he pointed out cautiously.
Tony scoffed. “What, like you’ve never liked someone who hated you.”
“Uh, no. I’ve never done that.”
“Really?”
“Never.”
“Huh.”
“Are you… are you saying that you do like me?” Bucky asked.
“Well, yeah. You never mind that half of my engineering babble goes over your head and you bring me food even if you didn’t know it wasn’t something I could eat and you’re really fucking gorgeous when you’ve showered and your hair isn’t falling in greasy clumps around your face.”
“Look who’s talking,” Bucky said amusedly, reaching out to run his fingers through Tony’s hair, matted down with machine oil. Even filthy, he could feel how soft it would be when it was clean. Tony leaned into his hand, humming happily.
“So is that a yes on this being a date, Bucky babe?” Tony asked. “Cause I’ll be honest, I’m not usually left hanging.”
“Yeah,” Bucky said, nodding. “It’s a date.”
Tony grinned and turned his head just enough to kiss the inside of Bucky’s wrist, making Bucky shiver. “Let me get cleaned up.”
“You want me to join you?”
Tony winked at him. “Next time, honey.”
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Have you seen the post going around about the zoom class with one guy and his full streamer setup vs the guy whose just in the middle of the woods? I know you have a prompt list rn but I’m just saying there’s a sternclay fic in there somewhere...
It is! Here you go!
Life is better with order. Or, at the very least, with some attempt at patterns, organization, or consistency.
Which is why Stern has carefully arranged his desk, his chair, and his equipment in the background. Streaming as a hobby and a side hustle means he has some (okay, a lot) of practice making his digital self look just right. He needs to make a good impression on the first day of the semester.
Unlike some people.
“Holy shit man, are you in the woods?” Duck, the guy in a “Monongahela National Forest” shirt, grins as he asks this of another student whose screen consists of a forest clearing, a log, and the name “Barclay.”
“Yeah. Hang on, lemme finish getting the phone balanced.”
“Dude, that’s like, way better than my background” this comes from Jake, in front of a poorly rendered half-pipe.
“Can’t really take credit for it, just where I ended up.” Barclay sits down, and Stern gets his first look at a man so tall he barely fits in the frame, with a short, coppery beard and an honest-to-god man-bun.
Damn west coast schools.
“How is your battery going to last long enough for class?” Stern leans back in his chair, certain Barclay will have “battery trouble” halfway through as an excuse to cut out early.
Barclay smiles, lifting up a small green and black rectangle, “solar battery. Not everyone needs fancy gadgets for school.” He aims a pointed stare at Sterns set-up.
“It’s important to have the right equipment.”
“Whatever you say, man.” He lifts a cup of iced coffee into the frame, sipping it through a straw. It’s the picture of relaxation, as if nothing is wrong in the world. As if this is all totally normal.
Stern wants to reach through the screen and slap some sense into him. Preferably while he’s shirtless.
He chalks that thought up to not having gotten laid since last December and pulls up his note taking software as Professor Chicane enters the room.
------------------------------------
Private Chat 9/20/20
Duck (he/him): I timed it, we’re already at ten minutes of arguing.
Indrid (he/him): I know Ned enjoys their demonstrating the different modes of rhetoric, but this is a bit extreme.
Duck: To be fair, Joe does seem kinda uptight.
Indrid: Yes, but Barclay should know by now that zeroing in on him during our practice debates only results in this.
Duck: Yeah. Oh shit, are they for real wrapping up you think?
Indrid: We can only hope. Skype me tonight?
Duck: Of course, sugar.
--------------------------------------
What is Joseph’s problem? He’s got a set-up that would make a pro-vlogger jealous, what looks to be a well-lit apartment with some houseplants and the kind of coffee-cups that are weirdly lacking in personality. His clothes are immaculate, his hair slicked back as if he;s in a business meeting rather than an online class in the midst of a chaotic world. So why is he acting like everything is terrible? And why is he always arguing with Barclay, when there are plenty of other people in the class to disagree with?
“Now” Mr. Chicane’s voice booms through the tiny speaker on his phone, “if you all had a chance to read over the instructions, we will begin the first mock debate. Do we have any volunteers?”
He and Joe raise their hands at the same time. Mr. Chicane raises an eyebrow.
“While I appreciate your eagerness, gentlemen, I would like two other volunteers this time.”
That’s fine by him. It’s not like he likes listening to Joseph get all wound up and passionate, making everyone on the call sit up and take notice of him. It’s not as if he enjoys being the center of his focus.
Nope, not at all.
-----------------------------
Private chat 10/11/20
Jake (he/him): Dudes, did you see who got paired up on the final project?
Aubrey (she/her): Chicane must be getting them back for all the times they’ve hijacked discussions.
Duck (he/him): Man, for their sake I hope it works out.
Indrid (he/him): This is going to be a disaster.
--------------------------------------
“Are you out of your mind!” Stern is talking before Barclay’s video is fully on.
“Nope. And you don’t have to yell, my speaker works just fine.”
“You’re outside, for all I know there’s a ton of ambient noise.”
Barclay, phone obviously in his hand as he walks through the trees, groans.
“And don’t try to derail this; how can you possibly suggest I come out there so we can do the project in person? We’re supposed to be limiting travel and gatherings.”
“Look, Joseph, we both agree that trying to generate our own cryptid hoax is the best way to demonstrate all the techniques Ned wants us too, right?”
“Yes” he hides his answer behind the rim of his coffee mug.
“We’ll do a way better job if we work in the same space. And if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t had any human contact in three weeks; all quarantined up, unlike whatever you’ve been doing in the city.”
He sets the mug down with a thunk, “I haven’t been out in a month. And before that was only for one grocery run and a hospital visit.”
“Uhhh-”
“I cut my hand cooking. So. Yeah.”
Literal crickets chirp, courtesy of Barclay’s end of the line, as the silence stretches on.
“If it helps, it’s real easy to stay isolated here, and I’ve still got utilities and everything.”
“And you’re not subsisting only on MREs or granola or something?”
A deep chuckle, the kind that makes his skin prickle, “Nope. That much I can promise.”
Stern glances around the studio apartment, clean and empty.
“What’s your address?”
------------------------------------
Look, all Stern is going to say is that he’s seen and read plenty of stories that start with a cabin in the woods and none of them end well. Which is why he’s still sitting in his car, parked beside a beat-up Subaru, rather than knocking on the door.
Breathe in, five counts. Out for four. Repeat four times.
Waiting for him on the door is a note.
Joseph,
Key under mat, make yourself at home.
Barclay.
He brings in his bags (a matching set of three, a gift from his aunt last year), placing them in the tiny guest room. It’s not much more than a bed, a dresser, and a tiny table. But there’s a heating unit below the window looking out into the woods, which is pretty pleasant. He’ll be keeping the blinds closed at night, though; he hates the thought of something being able to look in.
Stern’s busy evaluating the laundry closet when the front door opens.
“Hey, glad you found the place okay.”
Barclay stands in the doorway, a basket full of fruit in one hand. He’s remarkably kempt for a man living in the woods and that, combined with the deep voice being even richer in person and the fact Stern has to actually look up to meet his eyes, has him stumbling for words.
“Your directions were very thorough. Thank you. Um. I put my things in there, should I, um-”
“I can give you the grand tour.” The taller man sets the basket on the dining table, notices Sterns puzzled expression “there’s a piece of property about a mile thataway that has orchards they don’t really use. They let me come and pick whenever i want, less for them to clean up.”
Barclay keeps up a steady monologue as he shows him the cabin. The lower level is the living room and dining area, a kitchen which leads onto the back deck, Sterns room, and a bathroom. As the cabin is A-frame, the upstairs is Barclay’s room, all dark wood and pine colored plaid. It’s as Barclay is telling him about the woodpecker that sometimes nests in the eaves that he realizes why he’s talking so much.
He’s nervous.
Neither of their nerves improve when he gets to his last point of order.
“Uh, so, the bathroom downstairs is only a half-bath.”
“So...if I want to shower, which I do, I have to come up here.”
“Yeah.” Barclay scratches the back of his neck, “sorry. I don’t, like, sleep naked or anything so we should be fine.”
“Disappointing.” Stern sighs, only to sail past sarcastic and land face first in sincere.
Barclay blushes, then shrugs, “Trust me, after the first night, you’ll see why.”
Stern does. He’s warm as long as he’s in bed, but the moment he ventures into the bathroom in the middle of the night he’s cocooned in cold.
The morning brings cinnamon and coffee on the draft coming under the door. He plods into the kitchen in search of caffeine, finds Barclay in an pron, the counter covered in trays of dough.
“Morning!”
“Morning. Coffee-”
“Right there, sugar and stuff’s in the cabinet above it, cream and such is in the fridge.”
Blessedly, there’s heavy cream to be found, and soon he’s sipping from an enamel mug emblazoned with a UFO made of veggies.
“Is this all for your job?” Barclay mentioned he was a cook during an icebreaker.
“Yep. Way it works is I bust my ass baking once or twice a day, and Thacker, who works with Mama at the Lodge in town, comes and takes them over there. Normally I’d just be there but, well, y’know.”
“Everything is on fire? Figuratively, I mean.”
“Sometimes literally too, but yeah.”
As he’s turning to grab his clothes and head showerward, Barclay adds, “You a scone man, coffecake man, or a cinnamon roll man?”
“Coffeecake?” It comes out hesitant.
“There’s no right answer, man.” Barclay sounds amused, “what do you want?”
“Cake, definitely.”
“Cool. I’ll save you a slice.”
Once he’s showered and on the wi-fi, his day runs like normal; one lecture, reading, a research paper, his initial half of their project, and working either his copy-editing or transcription job in between, and planning his next stream. Barclay comes and goes, stops now and then to see if he needs anything, leaves a sandwich in front of him around dinner time. Then it’s time to crawl under the covers and dream of a less-stressful world.
The next day, just before one, Barclay taps him on the shoulder.
“Ready for class?”
“Yes…” He gestures to his laptop and notebook.
“C’mon, join me out here, it’s way nicer, and we can share the phone.”
“Barclay, it’s a nonsensical way to attend class, just stay in here with me! Even this set-up has to be better than the woods.”
“This set up. You mean my house?” All the friendliness leaves hi voice.
“Yes. Look, I agreed to come out because you’re right, if we want to ace this thing that’s worth sixty percent of our grade, this is the place to do it; I don’t have to go along with the whole self-sufficient woodsman aesthetic while I’m here. “
“Yeah, I’d say you’re pretty far from self-sufficient. See you in class.”
Stern stews through the entire session, but where he’d usually find something Barclay says to latch onto, he instead gnaws on himself. Why didn’t he just go with him? Why snap at someone who’s been nothing but nice since he got here?
Whatever the answer, how can he fix it?
---------------------------------------
Barclay tromps back through the twilight, done with his second class of the day. If Joseph is in the main house, he plans to ignore him until tomorrow morning. That all goes out the window with the clank of dishes from the kitchen.
Peering in reveals the other man bent over, pulling a casserole from the oven. He waits to announce his presence until Joseph is out of the danger zone, enjoying the view as he does.
“Smells good.”
Blue eyes flick over to him as Joseph opens drawers, “it’s mostly cheese and chips, so I’m not surprised.”
“Servers are in that one.”
“Thank you. Nacho pie?” He scoops some into a bowl, holding it out.
“Sure. Uh, look, Joseph I-”
Joseph holds up the server, “Wait. Before you apologize I, um, I wanted to say I’m sorry for my comments. And for being so...me-ish.” He sighs, staring at the utensil in his grip, “I’ve always been a little bit tense, tried to be polite and effective and friendly in spite of it. The last six months made that harder to do. I don’t love it when I can’t be organized, when normal systems go out of place. But that’s no excuse for being rude to you, even before you invited me here. You’re just so...you’re always so calm and relaxed, like nothing was wrong and I just honed in on that way more than made sense. I’m sorry.”
“If it makes you feel better, I kinda did the same thing. You’re always so put together, it looked like you had this organized life in the midst of this whole shitstorm. I feel lik everything is slipping away, like my world is just this cabin. I mean, I assumed you were seeing friends in the city, while I haven’t seen Mama in person since April. So” he sets the bowl down, rests his hand on Joseph’s shoulder, “I’m sorry too.”
Joseph laughs, softly, “turns out we both had failures of imagination, huh?”
“Yeah” he runs a hand over Joseph's back, “now come on, this dinner’s not gonna eat itself.”
-----------------------------------
“You sure you don’t wanna wear the bigfoot costume?”
“Positive. Besides, it suits you.” Joseph finishes styling the fur on the head of the costume to look more realistic, “I just hope we get this done before that storm comes in; as mush as the rain would add to the mood of the scene, that’ll be hell to dry and you’ll be miserable. So, go lurk over there while I finish up getting the camera settings where they need to be.”
“Yes sir” Barclay pops the head on, leaves crunching as moves to his appointed tree. He smiles as he watches Joseph fiddle with the camera; things have been so much better between them these last two weeks. They trade off cooking dinner, study side by side, and watch movies or play games in the warmth of the heater. They have a similar sense of humor and taste in books, and are tidy to boot. Joseph’s even come with him to listen to lectures in the woods, the pair sharing a thermos of coffee under the astonished gaze of their classmates. There’s just one problem.
Barclay’s buried crush is now blooming in every direction. Animated, argumentative Joseph was attractive. Joseph, in all his moods and mannerisms, is devastatingly enchanting. He’s come close to telling him this, but the other man is his guest and also only here for another two and a half weeks, so a confession is setting himself up for heartbreak at worst and awkwardness at best.
He almost blew it last night when they were washing dishes (Joseph scrubs, Barclay dries and puts away).
“Last one.”
“Thanks, blue eyes.”
“What was that?”
“Uh, blue eyes? Like a, uh, a nickname?”
Joseph laughs, “Sounds like something from a Raymond Chandler book. I like it.”
On the plus side, if Joseph thinks it’s just a nickname and not a pet name, maybe Barclay can keep using it.
“Are you ready?’
He sticks up a hairy thumb and calls, “you know it, blue eyes.”
That same laugh as Joseph takes up his position. Maybe it’s the weird film over the costume’s eyes, but Barclay swears he sees a blush.
-------------------------
Stern trawls through the search results. Their video is getting some traction, with two cryptid hunter sites claiming it’s credible footage. He’s making note of how the information spread, which threads lead to belief and which to doubt, when Barclay calls from upstairs.
“Joseph? Little help?”
The other man is in the bathroom, and when Stern knocks he says, “Think the pilot light on the water heater went out again, all I’m getting is cold water. Can you go relight it?”
“Sure.” He gets to the stairs then, stops, “where’s the key to that closet?”
“Huh? Oh, shit, right, hang on” Barclay says at the same time as Stern’s “don’t worry, I can find it.”
Which is why the instant he turns back into the bedroom is the same instant Barclay steps out of the bathroom, blue towel around his waist.
Any blood that doesn’t head south goes instantly to Stern’s cheeks.
“You okay there, blue-eyes?”
“It’s completely unfair how good you look without a shirt.”
He clamps a hand over his mouth.
“Idn’t ean to ay at out oud” The mumbled explanation makes Barclay smirk.
“You like this, should see what’s under the towel.”
The unusually bold statement from Barclay kindles his own confidence.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, big guy.”
“Who says I won’t.” Barclay sits down on the edge of the bed, nonchalant and leaning back on his hands, “got plenty of time to make good on them.”
“We literally don’t. I go back in a week and two days.”
Barclay toys with the lint on the towel, “you could stay. Through break, through next semester, for however long you wanted.”
“Do you mean that?”
A shy nod, “I like having you around, Joseph. Even beyond the huge fucking crush I have on you I...everything is a little better when you’re around.”
“I, um, I guess it could work. We know next semester is online too, and so is work, so…” there must be variables missing, something he’s not seeing, some reason this is too good to be true.
“You want some space away from shirtless me to think about it?”
“That’d be great.”
Barclay stands, hesitates, then plants a quick kiss on his forehead, “take all the time you need, blue eyes.”
------------------------------
Private Chat log 1/11/2021
Barclay (he/him): Did you see the look on Duck’s face when we turned up in frame together.
Joseph (he/him): Yes. Pretty sure Aubrey yelled something about him needing to pay up. I wonder what the bet was.
Barclay (he/him): Whatever it was, pretty sure I came out the biggest winner.
Stern snorts, trying not to blush on camera, and leans over to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek.
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Kids, Monsters, D&D, and Adults (Sriracha, Part. 18)
Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.
Part Summary: You decided to give Hopper a short break from seeing you every day... But you didn't know how much can happen in your hometown in a week and a half you're gone.
A/N: And... Welcome Mr. Demogorgon disrupting everyone’s life on the stage, please, give it up for him! (Reader is on holiday in North Dakota during the events of the first season.)
A/N 2: I went a bit off the OG events, but here, I have drunk Hopper on the phone mumbling about being cursed for you, enjoy, please. Actually inspired by Heroes (Peter Gabriel's cover) - the song playing when they found Will's body.
Word count: 4.1 K
Tagging: @nemodoren, @creedslove
Master list: H E R E
Just as your mom asked you to, two days after the dinner at your parents’, Jim dropped you off at your house in the early morning. It was more or less safe since it was only five in the morning and Hawkins was dead asleep at the moment. You didn't want him to be alone, but he brushed you off with ’it's only twelve days, what can happen during that?’ and you reminded him of what you had done in twelve days, leaving him with a nasty grin.
You both almost fainted, because just in the middle of your heated making-out session, just as his hand palmed your thigh as you basically climbed onto his seat, your brother came out of the house along with Steve, grinning. Steve looked at both of you with confusion before turning around and disappearing.
Steve Harrington had a girlfriend now, or so you heard. Nancy Wheeler became to lucky one, at least that was what the rumors were saying. He couldn't forgive about the endless crush on you, though.¨
You told Hopper to leave for work before your mom sees him there, laughing as Aiden helped you with your stuff, greeting Hopper. He really did drive, honking at your parents, waving at them as he left for the station.
It was the third of November - you were supposed to see Hopper again on the sixteenth day of that month. And you were honestly ready to take a short break from the everlasting dishes and laundry at your house and just relax before coming back to the arms of the man you grew to adore.
To be honest, you loved your father’s parents’ house in North Dakota - it was a big house in the middle of nothing, ten minutes away from the nearest signs civilization. The sixteen-hours lasting road trip in your/Aiden's car was almost endless and it was hot like hell at whiles, but in the end, you loved the view more than anything.
You had also a lot of family members, like aunties and cousins your age there and you were excited to meet all of them after such a long time. You promised a call to Hopper as soon as you reach their house - and so you did, giving him the number as well. It was midnight, but you knew that he’s waiting for it. And of course, he picked up as soon as you started ringing, laughing like a small kid when you told him that he rather should go to sleep.
It was a quick call just to reassure you that he's fine - you asked him about food and laundry and he told you, with a chuckle, that you're worried too much and that he managed to survive forty years without you - that thirteen days is basically nothing.
Most of the days, you spent walking around in the wilderness. Your cousin Corrie showed you a pack of wild bison living near your grandparent’s house and a great overlook. Other days, you and your other cousin Jane helped your granny with baking and cooking or tiding up. Everyone was thrilled to have you there because they saw both you and Aiden once a year. They took you to the local cinema, for some shopping and even for a time at the local pool and local dance. You were enjoying yourself the most you could.
Everyone was surprised when someone asked you the typical question - ’And do you have a boyfriend already?’ - and your mom answered ’She, in fact, has. And it's a lovely lad.’, winking at you. She still wasn't okay with Hopper, it was only four days since the dinner, but she was slowly adjusting to the situation. They asked you a lot about that mysterious ’Jim’, but you never told them much about your man.
It came on the third day you were in Dakota - the sixth of November. You were just playing with your four-year-old cousin Marty, building Lego spaceships, when your grandma came into the room, holding a phone in her hand, handing you the handset.
“It’s some Mr. Hopper. He told me that he has to speak to you immediately. He told me that he knows you.” - She whispered while you put Jim on your ear, nodding. You let Marty play with the Lego and left to an empty room.
“Do you miss me that much, Mr. Hopper?” - You joked, but at the moment you heard Jim sighing, you knew that somethings extremely wrong in Hawkins. First, you thought that maybe he wants to break up with you - but then you remembered him asking about your panties yesterday when you called him around two a.m. and shook the thought off. - “What's going on, Jim? I'm here. Is it Vietnam? New York? Sara?”
“No, it's not that... I just... Jesus, I feel like I need to talk to someone and you're the only one who is goin’ to listen to me and actually understands.” - Okay, so Mr. Hopper was clearly drunk and smoking on the other end of the line, so you sat down on a sofa, exhaling slowly. - “Sometimes... I feel like shit, but you know that. But now, I feel fuckin' cursed, Y/N. And you're not here to stop me from doin’ shit.” - He giggled drunkenly and you stiffened. What was his fucking deal? Had something happened after you left Hawkins? Had Diane called? Did something happen at the station? Did Steve fucking Harrington tell someone what he saw? You swore to God...
“Jim, what you're after? I don't understand, baby, you need to tell me what's wrong.” - You mumbled back and looked at Aiden, who was just checking in on you. You mouthed ’Hopper’ and he nodded before closing up the door after him, telling everyone to keep off the line and out of the room.
“I'm a fuckin’ black hole, y’ know? All the fuckin’ shit that ever happened in Hawkins... It follows me. The last case of person goin’ missin’ happened in the summer of ’23 and the last suicide here was on the fall of ’61, y’ know?” - He asked you rhetorically and you just kept on being silent, trying to decipher the meaning of his entire speech.
“And when I find someone or somethin’ I can fight for or when I feel safe for a minute, it all goes to shit after a while, it all just fuckin' goes to shit.” - Jim said and you could hear him crying.
“Will you tell me what happened finally? You're freaking me out, Jim.” - You asked silently, playing with the hem of your sweater. Hopper was clearly angry and terrified of something - he would probably get drunk even if you were in Hawkins. His voice was emotionless, he was playing the tough guy card at the moment.
“A kid got lost today.” - He answered honestly and your breath got stuck a bit, but you kept your damn mouth shut since you could hear him taking a breath to continue. - “I thought he has just wandered off the main road or somethin’ but it really looks like that kid’s missin’. It's the Byers boy, that younger one.” - He told you and you closed your eyes. No wonder he felt like shit when a kid got lost in the woods, probably.
“Have you found something, Jim? Don't be angry or sad, there's still hope.” - You whispered, watching your cousin Diane in the same age little Will was playing outside with a ball.
You knew Joyce Byers from occasionally visiting Melvald’s in the downtown. You remember the day you walked in and while you were handing her the cash, she pointed out on a drawing of a big rainbow spaceship and proudly, she said ’My son Will drew this.’ You knew her boys from meeting them sometimes. The brothers were a bit weird, but when a kid goes missing, you don't care if they were weird or not.
You just want to find them as quickly as possible.
"A bike if that's what you wanna call 'a find'." - Hopper mouthed back and you could hear him crying, he just couldn't handle the situation anymore. It was breaking your heart to hear him being this much fucked up. You wanted to hug him, press your body onto his, hold him tight and whisper him sweet nothings. You wanted to kiss him and make things right at least for a second.
"James Hopper, you better listen to me right now. You're the best cop I've ever seen. Stop whining, go to sleep now and you're going to find this fucking kid because that kid is lost somewhere in the woods, it's freezing to death, it's terrified and alone, you hear me?" - You said aggressively, being completely done with him and his self-shaming shit at that point. - "You won't duck out and you will make me proud."
You talked to him until the moment he really fell asleep, walking out of the empty room after the phone went silent. There were emptiness and horror inside of you. Will Byers got lost and your boyfriend promised himself to find him. You were destroyed, tired and worried for Jim, but you encouraged him enough to trust in himself. Or at least you thought so.
"What happened? Is Hopper doing okay?" - Your mom asked with a furrow as soon as you entered the door and you shook your head, looking at her with terror. They were just having a huge family dinner outside your granny's house, everyone from the family came to greet you.
"A kid went missing in Hawkins. You remember that little Byers? He always rode the bike with his friends, they were inseparable." - You mumbled and your mom only let out quiet 'Oh God' to summarize the whole situation. She went on a and gave Joyce a call - to tell her not to lose hope in finding Will.
You haven't left the house for the other two days - Hopper could call literally every minute and almost everyone got invested in that kid going missing. You missed a few cool trips here and there, but Hopper hadn't disappointed; he gave you heads up every few other hours. And you even laughed at times which you definitely didn't expect - like the time when it came to talking with Will's best friends.
"You wouldn't believe how bad I am with kids, these little fuckers were just fuckin' around with me, talkin’ about Lord of the Rings and stuff... Jesus." - Hopper mumbled with a quiet chuckle, lighting up another cigarette. He was calling you from a telephone booth and left Powell with Callahan in his Blazer, and according to his words, those men watched his every move. You chuckled at that. Jim really took your words directly to his heart, doing his best to save the damn kid. He was not giving up on that boy.
To find what happened, he talked with his best friends and the way he told you the investigation was going was so hilarious it made you laugh like crazy.
"No way. Jim Hopper is good at everything." - You hummed back and crossed your legs, thinking about some really nasty things.
"Am I? At what exactly, I can't seem to remember." - He asked in his deep voice and you knew that it's about to go really nasty. You yelled at your mom to get off the phone immediately through the whole fucking house just to have some privacy. Hopper, again, chuckled at that.
"Like... I don't know, folding clothes?" - You asked innocently still worrying that your mom's listening to that conversation. But as soon as you heard her yelling something at your cousins, you knew she really got off. - "After you tear it down off of me."
"Someone's in the mood to play, I see. I would like to stay and hear you foldin' your clothes, but the boys are in a hurry." - Jim whispered, yelling something at the two cops.
"Jim?" - You asked and you got only a hum as a response. - "Be safe out there, okay?"
"I'm missin' you here. I'm lookin' forward to seeing you." - He answered and the line got quiet again. You missed him as well, but in the end, you had only eight days in front of you. What could go wrong? And that was a dumb question to ask.
Well, a lot could go wrong actually, since the other day, Hopper's calls got less and less frequent until they stopped completely. It was the ninth of November when mom woke you up really late in the night. He handed you over the handset, making you sit up
"It's Hopper and he was really... Weird. It seems urgent. He was ringing the number fifteen minutes in a row." - She whispered and sat next to you on the bed, hugging your shoulder. It didn't matter how old Hopper was or what reputation did he have. He needed just as a human being needs another one to lean into. He needed you as a partner and no matter how stressful that was, you wanted to be there for him. And your mom understood that clearly.
"Jim, Jim, it's me." - You mumbled sleepily and listened to him hyperventilating. He was crying again, but he was trying to calm down now. He sometimes woke up with these panic attacks. Something went awfully off the rails in Hawkins. This wasn't the Jim you grew to know and love. - "Baby, stay here with me, let's do this together. Breathe in and out, just like that, that's it, that's it. In and out."
"We found the boy." - He muttered out when he calmed down finally. sobbing. He may pretend to be the rough edge guy, but you knew that's the exact opposite of his character when no-one can see him. He didn't get too friendly with people in Hawkins, but he cared about each one of them. That's why he was the Chief in the end.
"And what happened? Is everyone alright? Is he safe now?" - You asked and mouthed 'They found Will' to your mom. You were about to cry as well - he was making such heart-wrenching sounds that only that alone made your eyes water.
"He drowned in the quarry." - Hopper told you, lighting up a cigarette. - "He was decomposed, but the guys from the CIA told us that it's the boy for sure. Jesus." - And that was the moment you started to cry, putting a palm in front of your mouth. It wasn't hard to make out what had happened to little Will Byers.
"How's everyone doing? What about Joyce? Do you want me to come back? Just say a word and I'm on my way back, just like that." - You asked when you finally caught your breath. Your mom was holding you tight because it really had shocked you and she was also listening to everything Hopper said. She kissed your shoulder, closing her eyes. You have never spoken to that kid, but... He was so young. And according to Joyce really bright and creative. This wasn't fair. This just wasn't fair. He had a whole life ahead and now, it was just gone. Hopes were lost just like that. You felt the cold and emptiness growing in your chest again.
"No... Just stay there until I know it's safe here again, alrite? We'll be workin' with some guys from the state for a while now, closing the case up. " - Hopper told you sincerely and you hummed, crying again. - “The boy has a funeral tomorrow. I feel like this is on me, you know? Everyone was believin' that Jim fuckin' Hopper, the New York detective, will find the Byers boy alive and well... It's my fault."
"This doesn't mean you're a bad cop, Jim, okay?" - You asked him after a while when you made yourself calm down. - "This doesn't mean you suck at your job, baby. Don't put yourself down, you're a great cop and even a better person. The boy... It isn't your fault. I swear. We'll talk about it once I get back to Hawkins, okay?" - You asked worriedly. - "Please, send Joyce my deepest condolences. I'm..."
Hopper needed to be strong and so you needed to be strong as well. For him. You'd do everything for that man. If he would want you to go back to Hawkins immediately, you would go.
"Just keep out of Hawkins until I secure it again. If somethin' would go wrong with you, I don't think... I'm just really missin' you, sunshine." - Hopper mumbled tiredly and you understood. He needed to be alone, so you put the phone off the bed, looking at your mom. Hopper didn't cause this, but you knew he's going to put himself down horrendously after that. A boy's life was lost, but Hopper wasn't the one to blame.
But the worst thing about all of that? He hadn't called after that, not even once. You tried to occupy yourself with hikes and board games with your cousins, even playing some D&D, but there weren't any calls from Hopper from that day on. No matter how hard you wished for them, he hadn't call you. You called into the trail many times, but no-one had picked up.
That was the exact moment you had enough. If he was in danger, you wouldn't leave him like that, whether something bad happened to him or if it was his mind again.
You decided to come home earlier to check on him, which your mom agreed with. The sixteen-hours long drive with your car was horrendous, to say the least, but that very night, you stopped in front of Hopper's trail, basically storming inside. It was dark and empty, but you still hoped that Hopper left you a key under the mossy rock. It really was there.
You stopped yourself for a small moment before actually opening the door up, trying to prepare yourself for what will be inside of that trail. You almost threw up next to the stairs, opening the door finally. And for the fucking love of God, there was some serious mess inside of that trail.
You walked through it and saw at least a few tubes of Tuinal, each one of them empty, remnants of various fast food, beer cans, and full ashtrays literally everywhere. The furniture was messed up, the phone ripped out of the wall, TV laying on the side. The place looked robbed and for a moment, you got really, really worried.
Hopper wasn't nowhere to be found, so the last thing you could do was to sit and wait for him. While doing so, you decided to clean it up and cook some actual food. Before moving the furniture back in place, you checked the drawers, not finding his personal gun. Where was he and why did he take the gun with him?
He drove in pretty late in the night, it was almost midnight; you took a nap on the couch in the meantime, being dead asleep by the time he turned the engine off.
Hopper was thinking that he's hallucinating when he saw your car parked directly on its spot, but then he saw the turn on the light and you passed out in front of the TV through the window.
He took a deep breath in - he just came back from the Hawkins lab, closing another deal with them including Joyce and WIll, and he needed to think about what should he tell you. He wasn't willing to try his chances with telling you the truth; as he said, he wouldn't put you in danger under any circumstances and the men from the government weren't fucking around with anyone. He needed to come up with a story that would be believable and easy to swallow, but at the moment, he was just too tired to think of one. Jim slowly entered the trail, taking the coat off, putting it on a rack, trying not to wake you up yet.
You were beautiful when you fell asleep - your cheeks got rosy, you snuggled deep into the blanket, having a dreamy emotion on your face. He kneeled behind the couch, kissing your temple and smoothing your hair, gently waking you up.
"You're here sooner." - Jim whispered with a smile when you opened up your eyes. He just needed you by his side, no matter what anyone in Hawkins is going to say. Fuck them and fuck the rumors. It was safe now, you were his girl and everyone else could go fuck themselves.
"And you stopped calling. I was worried." - You mumbled, nuzzling closer to his hand, reaching out to hold the other one. - "Where were you? It's really late."
"Was visiting Joyce's, she needed someone to talk to. I would be here sooner if you'd give me heads up." - Hopper kissed your temple again, helping you with standing up. He watched one of those lazy smiles.
"How's she? Feeling better after Will..." - You whispered in a broken voice. Oh. Hopper realized that you still thought that Will has drowned in the quarry. He hadn't got exactly the time to call you since he was held at the lab of driving around Hawkins with children in his Blazer most of the time.
"The boy was found alive, thanks to God. He's in the hospital and he's gettin' better and better with each passin' day. He's a fighter." - Jim said quietly and tried not to put too much emotion into it, but you knew that it's making him happy. He led you through the whole trail, kissing your collar bone though the fabric of the shirt once you were standing up in the bedroom. - "I've missed you so fuckin' much." - The man moaned into the fabric of his very own shirt and just when he was about to lay you down, you stopped him and palmed his jaws, making the man look at you.
"I'm proud of you, Jim Hopper." - You said quietly with an adoring look in your eyes. Hopper would swear that he hasn't seen so much awe and love in someone's eyes until you gave him this look. - "You are a great man. And I can't imagine being in Hawkins without you." - You whispered and pulled him in for a kiss.
You gave him many kisses, but this one was somehow full of feelings and Jim warmed up when he felt the love radiating out of it. For a while, the thought of him saying those three words was lingering on his mind as you took off the shirt, pressing your naked torso into the fabric of his uniform.
It would be so easy to say them. Every time he called you to Dakota, you were there and listened to every word; you laughed when you were supposed to laugh and you were sad when you were supposed to be sad. To say that he found everything he asked for was just too little to express everything about you.
You continued with kissing him, not leaving him alone in that freezing night for a single second. Nothing felt better than having you back and at that moment, he first realized that he's in love with you. It never crossed his mind so clearly. He was deeply in love. But he didn't want to ruin the moment, so he helped you with taking your pants down.
It didn't matter how smelly he was, it didn't matter that he had a huge bruise on his arm, the only thing that mattered was it was him. That it was him staying there with you.
And you realized how much you've fallen for that guy. It was the best feeling you've ever felt.
#jim hopper imagine#jim hopper#jim hopper x reader#james jim hopper#jim hopper stranger things#stranger things hopper#stranger things netflix#stranger things#sriracha
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For the Hozier ask thing: No Plan, Be, Talk
- No Plan - Do you believe in a pre-determined purpose in life?
No, but I think it can be helpful–for some people!–to think and act like you have a pre-determined purpose, as long as you’re not too rigid about it. Sometimes the random twists and turns of life just get overwhelming, you know? And you need to weave them into some sort of pattern–“A, B, and C all happened in order to lead me to D,” or “Despite X obstacle, I know I’m meant to accomplish Y.” Humans are pattern-finding creatures–that’s why we like stories so much. I can’t imagine getting through life without periodically making it into a story, whether you actually believe in some divine Plan and Author or not. (This is reminding me once again of that Brian W. Foster lyric I’ve become obsessed with: “And if it wasn’t designed, then I’ll be damned if I ever know why.”)
Though honestly, for me? The opposite is true. I’ve faced, and continue to face, so many mental-health barriers to having the kind of life I’d like to have, and I’ve fought (and continue to fight!) such a harrowing, hard-scrabble fight to make that life happen anyway. It’s a massive struggle, it’s ongoing, it’s every day. It’s exhausting and humiliating and entirely without dignity. So the thing that I like to tell myself about the life I want? Is that I wasn’t meant to have it. Some particularly nasty gods have played a trick on me since birth, crafting a person for whom friends/romance/productive work/artistic fulfillment/Happiness are impossible–and day after day, I’m fighting them, trying to prove them wrong. Clawing and biting at them with everything I have in me. Forcing my way out of their boxes, grasping at what I want, and spitting in their eye for good measure.
I’m sure my preference for this narrative says something about me as a person, but I leave that up to you, anon!
- Be - Have you changed much as a person in the last year?
…I literally don’t know where to start.
In August 2018, I wasn’t married yet. I lived in a small town in New Jersey with my parents and sister, and was desperately terrified of moving (permanently) anywhere else. I had completed two master’s degrees just a few months before, but I’d never had a full-time job, and I was 250% convinced (for the aforementioned mental-health reasons, and a chronic physical illness to boot!) that I could never, ever have one. Oh, and I’d just gotten back from a visit to my former roommate (which remains the last time I saw her, not counting Skype), and I was suffering constant agony over the intense, passionate, mutually pining, emotionally needy, co-dependent mess that was that relationship.
And now?
I’m married. I live in Boston, in an apartment where I’ve paid 100% of the rent for the past six months (though that will soon be changing!). I have a full-time job that has challenged and transformed me in ways that I could not possibly have imagined six months ago. Like…literally could not have fathomed. Outside the scope of my brainpower. Beyond my wildest dreams.
I’m the head of my department…because I’m the entire department. I do heavy-duty customer service. I interact with dozens of strangers every day–children, teens, and adults–and I usually do it without a whisper of social anxiety. I pick up my desk phone when it rings. I make phone calls when I have to. I send and receive dozens of e-mails a week. I manage a budget! I place orders! I schedule programs! I answer reference questions! I operate and troubleshoot various forms of technology constantly, and teach others how to use them. I reason with, joke with, assist, educate, entertain, chastise, and discipline 20+ rowdy teenagers ON A DAILY BASIS. There have been many days, and once an entire week, when I was literally in charge of my entire workplace and everyone in it. And it was all still functioning when my boss got back.
…And it’s actually really timely that I should write about all this now, because I’m smack-dab in the middle of an extremely daunting work task, one that’s causing my ADD to kick my ass to hell and back. And I’ve spent the past few days wondering just how fucking desperate this place must have been to hire someone who’s been wretchedly sobbing over her utter lack of focus and organizational skills for almost 30 years. So it’s…quite the morale-booster to look at these paragraphs about just how goddamn far I’ve come in a year.
…Also, Ex-Roommate and I have gone no-contact, and most days, I don’t think about her. And if I do, it doesn’t hurt so much.
- Talk - What’s your best friend like?
I have three (3) best friends, and they are MY WORLD, so get ready for this.
(1.) My husband. We’ll call him Kit, which is, in fact, a name he often goes by. He is a Gemini, which I mention only because he’s a very classic Gemini: bursting with curiosity, interested in everything, with a dizzying array of hobbies and interests that seem to change and shift by the moment. He teaches science, and used to teach history. He loves camping, sea shanties, Lawrence of Arabia, board games, and tabletop RPGs. Being a teacher, he’s had the summer off, and he’s spent it being a house-husband: cleaning our apartment, buying all the groceries, doing my laundry an embarrassing number of times, and cooking me dinner every single night. He loves being useful to people and making people happy. He’s terrific at long-term planning, but has no sense of time, and he’d be late to everything without my intervention. We have separate bedrooms, and mine is obsessively neat, and his is…not. He was once bitten by a squirrel that he was hand-feeding on the Boston Common. A few days later, he received a serious electric shock from a string of Christmas lights, and the bandage he’d placed over the squirrel bite was burned black instead of his hand. This perfect balance of cursed and blessed is, in a way, all you really need to know about Kit.
We love to watch movies and TV shows together and discuss/analyze them obsessively. We love to have looong philosophical discussions and/or debates. We take walks, we get Italian food and/or ice cream far too often, we go on jolly road-trip adventures, and we read out loud to each other. He’s currently reading me Charles Dickens’ Our Mutual Friend, which I have read before (twice) and he has not, because I love it so intensely, and I know that he will too. He’s the best person on earth to discuss virtually anything with, to be honest. He’s my DM in the best D&D campaign I’ve ever been part of. I’ve just made a new D&D character, although I don’t have a campaign for her yet, and Kit cannot stop lavishing praise on her and getting excited about her…even though she’s a hobgoblin, and he spent a significant portion of a recent car ride passionately arguing with me about the viability of hobgoblins as player characters.
He is absolutely extraordinary at admitting when he’s wrong, owning it fully, changing his opinions, pursuing personal growth, and just becoming a better and better person all the time. And I’m so damn honored that I get to be here for it.
(2.) We’ll call my second best friend Unicorn, which is a multilayered inside joke.
I met Unicorn during my freshman year of college. We lived on the same floor. I was the odd woman out among my suitemates because I had crippling social anxiety; he was the odd man out among his because he was gay. Somehow we started watching movies and TV shows together, and it became our Thing; I think our current marathon record is six or seven movies in a row. We’re both from New Jersey, and he still lives there, and there are few places in the world I feel safer than on his giant couch, in front of his giant TV, with snacks and glasses of Limeade close at hand, and his neurotic little dog nosing about. He has a pool, a massive movie collection, and an encyclopedic knowledge of state politics, because he works as a full-time environmental canvasser. His hours are absolutely terrifying, as are the physical and social demands of his job, but he still finds time to run a D&D campaign for his coworkers, and to visit the rest of us in Boston at every possible opportunity.
Unicorn is barely a month older than I am (a fellow Leo, though I think it suits him a hell of a lot better than it suits me), and he understands me in specific ways that the other two members of our little quartet just can’t. We get each other’s humor, we have similar tastes in men, we both love to swim. When the four members of our found family are all together, he is invariably the only person who notices all my little puns and innuendos, and laughs every time. He listens to me, and asks me questions, in a way that no one else in the world quite seems to do. He made a speech at my wedding that reduced me to a blubbering mess. And, most importantly of all: He started inviting me to our college’s LGBT group when we were juniors (right after Kit and I started dating), which was how I met my third best friend, and how we all became a family.
(3.) I’m going to refer to Best Friend #3 as “Dragon,” because…he loves dragons, and because he was Unicorn’s roommate when I first met him, and it keeps the mythological-creature theme going. …And once again, I don’t know where to start, so I’m going to go dig up an old post I made about Dragon, copy and paste it below, and then figure out how to elaborate on someone who both my husband and I have identified as the best human being we have ever met.
This is a friend who invites the whole gang of us to his apartment for entire long weekends, and cooks for us, repeatedly. Who hosts “fake Christmas” every year, complete with a tree decorated with blue and silver ornaments because he is Jewish, and made all of us hand-stitched, personalized stockings, and fills them with gifts and sweets purchased specially for each of us. Who once baked me a cake just because I was coming to visit him. Who organized and directed my entire move from New Jersey to Boston because his Tetris-like car-packing skills and his utter laidback unshakable calm in the face of any task are absolutely unparalleled. Who is a goddamn wizard at literally everything, from cooking and baking and sewing to Photoshop and graphic design to painting D&D miniatures to putting together elaborate cosplays to theater tech to writing and research to courageous and tireless activism to law (did I mention he’s a lawyer?).
…That was my old paragraph, so let me add a few things. I can’t emphasize enough how much he carries that aura of calm and kindness and competence about him at all times. Never in my life had I had a cooking/baking experience that didn’t stress me out until Dragon let me help him make an entire dinner and various desserts for our friend group, and it was just…so chill. So well-organized and perfectly timed, but without ever feeling like those things took any effort whatsoever. He was so kind and patient with me, demonstrating each task step by step, then being entirely confident in my ability to perform said tasks, and never trying to nitpick at the way I did them or take them over himself. Part of his job involves teaching, and I know he must be fantastic at it, because no one else has ever been such a soothing balm and a stimulant (both at once, somehow!) to my poor, tormented ADD brain. Someday (maybe soonish!), our whole found family is going to live together, and the thought of being around Dragon all the time just makes me weep with joy. And did I mention his sweet, child-like enthusiasm for holiday celebrations and ghost tours and spooky TV shows and musicals and fantasy novels and text RP and all other Best Things? (Ok, he also loves dogs and Marvel movies, and I love neither, but I forgive him for this.)
Oh, he also officiated my wedding. And he also had top surgery today, and I have maybe never been this happy about anything ever, what an auspicious day to finish this post!
#asks from the askbox#personal#long post#she's just about to close up the library!#dungeons & dragons#d&d#dnd#this got RIDICULOUSLY long holy moly#i have a lot of feelings about my job and my friends guys
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Do you remember? // Phanfiction
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: slight swearing, fluff, very light smut
Summary: Dan and Phil have been married for 16 years and one night in bed they decide to re-live their favourite moments together
“Can you sleep?”
“Not really”
“Same”
Phil rolled over to face his husband. They had been married for 16 years now but his heart still did that ‘flippy-over thing’ every time he looked in Dan’s eyes, just like it did the first time they kissed, back in 2009 on the Manchester Eye.
“Do you remember our first kiss?” Phil asked softly, still staring fondly at his husband’s eyes
“Oh so that’s where we’re going?” Dan replied chuckling at Phil’s cheesiness. He sometimes had these moments where he just started being incredibly cheesy and romantic, he had always had them and Dan surely couldn’t complain because he loved them.
“I was just thinking at how far we’ve come…I mean, 20 years ago we were lying on our bed, nervous as hell to publish PINOF 10, and now we are married and we have a 15 years old son and a 5 years old daughter together…time flies” Phil said as he started playing with a curl from Dan’s hair.
“Shit we’re going to die like tomorrow”
“Oh c’mon don’t kill the atmosphere with your sad thoughts”
“You’re right, sorry…by the way yes, I do remember our first kiss as well as our last one”
“Our last o-“ Phil didn’t manage to end his question because Dan had moved slightly forward to give him a quick kiss and rest his head on Phil’s shoulder
“We had been walking around Manchester for hours and decided to go for one ride on the wheel and then go home. You payed for both our tickets even though I had insisted that I wanted to pay and the man at the ticket booth pulled the most annoyed face ever because I wouldn’t stop insisting, so you took my hand and dragged me in our cabin. It was cabin number 22 and we were the only people around as it was a monday evening. You kept staring at me and I was like ‘fuck it’ so I leaned in like I was going to rest my head on your shoulder, but then I kissed you and you seemed so shocked that I was afraid I’d hurt you. You re-arranged my fringe and put your hand on mine and we just stayed like that for the rest of the ride, smiling at each other. Wait- are you crying? Oh baby I’m sorry!” said Dan whilst passing his thumb of Phil’s cheeks to dry his tears.
“I…I just got a little emotional, you made me travel back in time there, you know?” said Phil almost apologising.
“Why don’t you make me travel a bit now?”
“Sure, where do you want to go?”
“Mmh…maybe our first time? Too much?”
“No, not at all. Close your eyes though, okay? So…it was a couple months since our first kiss and you were coming to stay at my house for a whole week! I couldn’t wait to spend all that time with you and I remember our last skype call, the night before you came here, where you were so happy you couldn’t calm down so you ended up not managing to sleep a minute that night, and when you arrived here you were really tired. My mom, bless her, had prepared the guests room for you, even though I had told her that we were together. I’m pretty sure she was just fine with it and it was my dad to be over-protective about the whole thing so he asked mom to set up the guests room, but anyways…Where was I? Oh yes, you were knackered so I asked you if you wanted to just lay on the sofa and watch a movie together. Being geniuses, we watched Wall-e, like the saddest movie ever, and ended up crying like two babies by the end of it. At that point it was about 4pm and we agreed that if we had a nap we would never be able to sleep during the night, so we decided to go grocery shopping and cook dinner, since my parents had gone to visit my aunt up in Scotland for the week. We went out without our coats and regretted it immediately but we were both too lazy to go back up to get them, so we decided to freeze our way to the store. I think we had seen this recipe on TV earlier and for some reason decided to bake a chicken and aubergines pie, so we bought what we needed and practically ran back home as it was really really cold outside, you know, december…
As soon as we arrived home we were so cold that we decided to snuggle on my bed for a while before cooking and so we did, but then you started to tease me putting your hand on my thigh and kissing me. When I realised what you were doing, I started to do the same. I started stroking your thigh going everytime a little bit higher and closer to your crotch, until you started complaining about the teasing. You were the one who had started!”
Dan let out a chuckle at the memory but didn’t open his eyes, he was in full immersion.
“So…the rest you know” Phil stopped himself from telling the whole story because he knew it would have gotten both him and Dan horny and it would have been a mood killer.
“Yeah I do. Did you like it?” said Dan still keeping his eyes closed but smiling from ear to ear
“Of course I did, you dingo! It wasn’t as nice as it is now, maybe, because neither of us were experienced almost at all and especially not with each other, but it was a great first time. I mean, I had only been with a girl before you and let me just say it’s definitely not the same thing!”
“I hadn’t been with anyone before you, actually” said Dan, only at this point opening his eyes to look at his husband’s reaction
“Yeah I know babe, it was so obvious that you lied about not being a virgin!” answered Phil surprising Dan
“What?? You knew? Oh that’s embarrassing!”
“It’s not embarrassing at all! I actually like the idea that I’m the only one who ever fucked you”
“Philip Michael Lester Howell, first of all, did you just say ‘fuck’? And second of all, we’re 50 years old. I think ‘fucked you’ isn’t the best of ways to describe our love making”
“I’ll tell you what, Daniel James Howell Lester, I say whatever the fluff I want!” said Phil not managing to keep a straight face and bursting in laughter. They both cuckled for a while until Phil said “Hey, I want to travel more! Tell me about our wedding pleeeease”
He closed his eyes waiting for Dan to start telling the story but he was surprised by a quick soft kiss, and his blood started to go to his shoulder again as his husband had moved his head onto his own pillow.
“Sooo, let’s go back to 2022, shall we? I remember being so nervous I actually threw up a couple of times the night before and I wanted to call you so bad but I decided to be strong and ended up suffering alone, until my brother came to look for me in the bathroom. He knocked and came in without waiting for any reply and as soon as he saw the mess I was he sat next to me on the floor and put his hand on my knee, like a silent ‘I’m here’. After a couple minutes of silence I said something like ‘I really love him’ or ‘I love him so much’ and Adrian hugged me saying ‘I know you do’. I didn’t sleep a minute that night and was about to text you a million times but I actually only did it once, to say goodnight to you. You replied IMMEDIATELY and I remember thinking that maybe you were in my same situation” Dan stopped to check if Phil was still awake
“I was in the exact same situation, just without the throwing up part, you know my stomach is made of iron!” Phil said keeping his eyes shut.
“Yeah, I know. Anyways, when my mom came to wake me up in the morning she was really excited to see that I was already up and getting prepared. She said she had made pancakes for me downstairs and that my suit had been ironed and was waiting for me in the laundry room. I ate my pancakes and put on the suit, then went to check if Adrian was ready. He was still in his pj’s but the ring boxes were ready and his suit had been ironed too so it was no big deal. As soon as I saw you walking towards me in the wedding garden I completely forgot of any worryings or preoccupations and my heart was filled in with just love. I can’t even remember what the guy who married us was saying because all I could think of was how could you possibly look even more beautiful than usual in that suit. Yet, you did. I still remember, though, my votes. ‘Phil, I promise I’ll always be by your side: when you decide to dress up as punks, when you want to have 3-hour-breakfasts and when you want to live the rest of our lives together. I promise I will do the laundry every saturday as we decided 10 years ago, that I will tell you when I finish the milk and that I’ll take Nuki out for walkies more often. I love you Phil, I’ve loved you since when, back in 2008, I would watch your videos to relax, I loved you when you asked me to move in your flat and I loved you even more when you told me that there was powerful wifi- I mean…when you said that you loved me too’ Jesus, I think I will remember that forever” Dan said with a smile on his face
“That was a wonderful speech, I can imagine you remember that I couldn’t contain my tears, too” replied Phil, him smiling too.
“Your turn again! I want…mmh…the day we finally took Noah home please” said Dan closing his eyes again and settling down
“Okay, soooo 2023. It was the 31st march when they called us from the hospital saying that Noah was arriving. I remember literally grabbing our wallets and keys and RUNNING downstairs like the building was on fire. You almost got killed by a taxi whilst trying to get him to stop, which ended up working, but still! Anyways, we got to the hospital in 10 minutes and ran through the corridors trying to find the room. When we finally found it, room 209, and walked in, we were immediately attacked by the nurses who quickly gave us gloves and and masks and went back to the bed where Lauren was. She seemed really happy to see us but also kind of terrified. Mmmh...I guess it's because a baby was about to exit her ladydoor"
“I cAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT” screamed Dan pushing himself up with his elbows. He didn't scare Phil, though. He was expecting a similar reaction.
“Shhhhh you're gonna wake Emily!” said Phil, now on his elbows too
“From here it's much easier to wake Noah, Emily is three rooms away!”
“Earlier, when I went to the loo, I checked if the kids were alright and Emily had crawled in Noah’s bed. She’s probably had another nightmare”
“Oh bless her. By the way, our 15 and 5 years old kids sleep together every now and then?? You realise that's parenting goals, yeah?”
“Well my brother and I used to do that every now and then too, but I guess it's because he's only a year and a half older than me"
“Exactly. Plus, 15 is a critical age! You know, he's starting to seriously grow and that kinda scares me"
“First of all, we’re freakishly tall so I don't think he's ever going to be taller than us. Second of all, he's only like 5’5. Third, I'm really scared too. What if he's going to meet someone on the internet and run away with them??”
“Oh you mean like I did? Yeah I hope that doesn't happen”
“You were 19, Dan”
“No, I was kidding” said Dan playing with his husband’s face “Now, can you resume the story telling?”
“Oh yeah right, so Lauren was screaming a lot and I don't know about you but she was holding my hand really tight, I thought it was going to explode!”
“Same"
“But finally, after about 5 minutes, Noah came out, screaming a lot too, and the nurses washed him before giving him to Lauren to breastfeed him. He was perfect, about 3.5 kilos and 50cm long. His big brown eyes stared at us for a bit before closing and then he slept for like 10 hours.
When, three days later, we finally brought him at home, we were both really emotional but his room was so cute! Do you remember it? We had put a tiny little wooden bed and painted the walls of pastel light blue. The floor was a very light green moquette and we had bought those huge Ikea plastic leaves so the whole room looked like a forest.
Being right next to our room, we could (and still can) hear everything he did so for the first couple of months it was really difficult for us to sleep, but then we got used to it and now I don't even notice it anymore to be honest. We were so happy when he arrived home and every free minute we would talk and sing to him our favourite songs, but the only song that managed to make him fall asleep was Interrupted By Fireworks. Do you remember how many times we played it at the stereo? I think probably more than ten thousand times...anyways, I think Noah’s love for books comes from the fact that we used to read to him constantly so hey, that's some good parenting right there!”
“It sure is!” said Dan “My turn, I'm telling Emily’s story.
We had decided, this time, to adopt, so after contacting the agency and signing all those papers and various meetings with various people, we only got to see a photo of Emily in june 2033! She was a week old, so it was the 27th, and she was sooo cute! She had very light blue eyes and very thin,almost white hair. I remember the nurse who was taking care of her telling us to make sure we thought her some Swedish so that she could learn about her origins. I think she knows it pretty well by now, doesn't she?”
“Definitely, plus both her and her brother love Knäckebröd so I think we've done a good job with that too” said Dan, satisfied.
“Yeah...Dan?”
Dan turned on his side to face Phil, as a silent ‘Yes?’
“I love our life. Thank you for giving me all this” said Phil, getting teary again
“Oh baby I love it too. I love our kids, I love our dog, I love our home and I love you, so much”
Phil kissed his husband then went back on his pillow
“Now I'm gonna go make us tea and check the kids, could you go lock the door please?” said Dan getting out of bed
“Sure” replied Phil, him also putting his feet on the floor and slowly standing up to not get dizzy
“I really needed this tea, you know?” said Phil stroking Dan's hand with his
“I think at this point I'm pretty good at reading your mind. Let's see...mmmh...right now you're thinking that you'd like to fuck me" said Dan moving his fingers on his head like he was actually reading Phil's mind
“Hey! You told me off like an hour ago for saying that!”
Dan chuckled and pulled the duvet to his chin, pulling a fake innocent face
“But you're right actually, you are pretty good at reading my mind"
#dan and phil#phan#phanfiction#phandom#dan howell#danisnotonfire#phil lester#amazingphil#phan fluff#phan fiction
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for the domestic ship meme: Lizzington 😌
Thank you! (And for the anon who also requested Lizzington, here you go!)
Who’s more dominant:Red is more dominant in most of his relationships, so it follows that he will be with Liz too, she certainly feels that way. But she definitely has all the power. He is ready to do anything for her 24/7.
Who’s the cuddler:Red is a serial cuddler, but Liz also can’t resist just wrapping her arms around his cuddly torso, and sticking her face into his neck.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:Red likes being the big spoon because then he can hold Lizzy real close and kiss her hair, he just really likes it. Also, despite it being the biggest cliche, Liz feels really safe wrapped up in his arms.
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:Since Red gave her some pointers, they like baking together. It’s very relaxing and has almost no chance of anyone dying so, when they’re not running from anyone, that’s what they like to do. This leads to a recreation of that Ghost scene but instead of pottery it’s dough.
Who uses all the hot water:Red does. He takes his sweet time in there, which leads to exasperated Liz barging in on him most mornings (which is not entirely accidental on his part).
(click here ↘)
Most trivial thing they fight over: Red trying to control everything, and never wanting her to go out alone. She needs her space Raymond
Who does most of the cleaning: Red sometimes tidies up Liz’s apartment, but since he lives in borrowed houses and hotel rooms, he never has to clean any of his own messes (mostly). When he’s not around, Liz deep cleans the apartment to distract herself.
What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: Liz. Though Red sure does love commenting on how inaccurate crime shows are. And political shows. And sometimes even medical shows.
Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Red fixes everything because he is amazing with his hands. Liz loves watching him
Who leaves their stuff around: Liz does. Pretty sure she doesn’t even own a laundry basket. But Red loves the feeling of his space being invaded by her stuff. Sometimes he travels with an extra bag just so he doesn’t forget any of her clothes (and sometimes books, and files, and mugs) when he moves safe houses.
Who remembers to buy the milk: Gosh, once they start dating Red ensures her fridge is fully stocked at all times. This is one of the things they fight about. Liz says it’s a waste because she barely eats at home, and when she does it’s take out, so whatever is in the fridge will spoil. Red says that she needs to take better care of herself, and he offers to cook up all the ingredients for her - whether they’re close to spoiling or not.
Who remembers anniversaries: Liz is good at the big anniversaries - first date, birthdays, etc. Red has a mind for more obscure things - when he first realised she might have feelings for him too, the first time he bought her jewellery (which is months before they’re actually together), when he whispered “i love you” into her hair when she was asleep one night.
Who cooks normally: Ya boy Red loves to get down and dirty in the kitchen. As he cooks he teaches Liz about what he’s doing (she only understands what he means half the time), and he tells her stories which relate to this dish or this knife or that one time in Angola, you won’t believe this Lizzy...
How often do they fight: A lot about work, there are still some things Red needs to keep from the FBI and Liz is having a hard time dealing with that. Things about her past that Red can’t share come up sometimes, and it always ends in both of them feeling horrible, so Liz tries to curb her curiosity as much as she can. About personal stuff, not as much, they have a good flow of communication going on, so fights are resolved easily.
What do they do when they’re away from each other: Business as usual. Liz goes to work, but feels stupid for looking up at the door every 10 minutes expecting Red to bother her. Red flies to far off places for nefarious business deals, but cuts down on his leisure time to fly back as soon as possible. He makes sure to bring souvenirs back every time.
Nicknames for each other: Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy. Sweetheart, occasionally. Darling when they’re playing a role at some event. She doesn’t give him nicknames so much as simply telling him that he’s being cute or endearing.
Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Liz KNOWS by now that she’ll never ever win this fight, so Red always pays for dinner. When they first started dating he literally had to do it beforehand just so she wouldn’t try to pay at the end of the date.
Who steals the covers at night: Sorry to disappoint, but neither of them. Red is a human furnace, so when she sticks to him she has no problem. And in Red’s life there’s not really space for the kind of peaceful sleeping that allows cover hogging to happen so...
What would they get each other for gifts:Liz: She likes getting him key chains, especially because she very well knows that he doesn’t carry keys with him (he has like 500 lockers all over the world though, so each locker key gets its own key ring). She also makes sure that some of his favourite brands of things are always in stock at her place - coffee, shampoo, aftershave. Once she buys him a Say Anything t-shirt as part of their inside joke that young Red would have fit in really well with the 20-something movie stars of the 80s.Red: Every little thing that makes him think of her, or that he thinks she’ll like, or that he likes that he wants to give to her, he buys for her. He also never shows up at her apartment empty handed - bringing wine, or some fancy snack. He especially likes buying her clothes, so when they’ve been together for a few months Liz actually has to sort out her wardrobe because she just doesn’t have space for her clothes anymore.
Who kissed who first:Liz kissed him. It was soft and slow and filled with longing. He barely hesitated, wrapping her up in his arms and sighing into her mouth. It was a very good first kiss
Who made the first move:The first time they went undercover as a couple, Red made sure to kiss her bare shoulder, or behind her ear, and Liz steadfastly believes that because of this, he made the first move. Red says she made the first move earlier that night, when she got into his car in that backless dress, and gave him a look so devastating that he had no choice but to touch her all night.
Who remembers things: Liz remembers the normal every day things. Pick up this from the dry cleaners, file your taxes, wash the pants you want to wear on Friday. Red remembers the in between things. Her favourite flavour of ice cream when she’s on her period, the movies she wants to watch but haven’t got around to yet, where she’s always wanted to go and what she wants to do when she gets there.
Who started the relationship:Liz did. After the first kiss, and all the kisses that followed that night, Red still wasn’t presumptuous enough to assume that that meant they were together now. She had to tilt his face up to hers and physically tell him, “That wasn’t the last time I’m going to kiss you, and I refuse to let it be the last time you kiss me. I’m sure about you, and I want to be with you. In a relationship. Formally.”
Who cusses more: Red, for all his poise and decorum, can cuss up a storm when he’s upset. Liz tells him to not be so dramatic and soothes him by scratching the back of his head, which instantly calms him down
What would they do if the other one was hurt: Liz: Worry worry worry. She would be by his side as often as she could be, holding his hand and keeping him company. When he feels a little better she tearfully tells him that he has to be more careful, he has to take less risks because she doesn’t know what she’ll do without him.Red: Arranges the best possible care, hires a 24 hour nurse to be there when he can’t. Finds the person that hurt her and kills them. Returns to her side to comfort her. Runs his hand through her hair and kisses all over her face.
Who is the dirty talker:Red will randomly start dirty talking in the middle of the day when they’re out at the park or the grocery store and it drives Liz insane, because 1) she needs to finish buying the ingredients for dinner and 2) that’s 100% not going to happen now, because they need to leave immediately. During softer, more tender moments the dirty talk has a more reverent tone, which does not drive her insane, it just makes her fall deeper and deeper and deeper in love
A head canon:Red is scared of rollercoasters. He doesn’t enjoy being that out of control, he doesn’t like the horrible build up of suspense as the coaster climbs toward the first drop. He doesn’t like the way Liz teased him about his eyes being screwed shut during the one time she persuaded him to go on one, or the blue smudges of his fingertips that marked her hands for a week after. He’d much rather go on the ferris wheel, or play rigged games to try and win her a stuffed toy but he is not going on a rollercoaster again.
#lizzington#this was fun#these take super long tho but i love it#i love them#sorry for the bullets but the formatting on this is from hell so i just kept it#dinahdrakes
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TAG GAME: IT’S LONG
Thanks @eg515 ONCE AGAIN. I spent like an hour on this lol. Tagging @nevergirl13 @oceanicrage @emma-arthur. My god I am tired.
What was the last movie you watched in theaters?
Star Wars: The Last Jedi in December!
What’s your favorite game to play?
Literally anything on the PS4 (I love Detroit: Become Human and Spider-man) BUT I also love Clue and Spoons
Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla for smell, Chocolate for everything else
What was the last show you binge watched?
During this quarantine LOL I saw I Am Not Okay With This and like a season of Grey’s Anatomy.
Do you have any pets?
Not yet. But one day I’ll have a cat and I’ll be thriving.
What’s your favorite fairy tale?
I was a really big fairy tale kid growing up, both Disney and Grimm Brothers. I really loved the super dark Snow White and Alice and Wonderland (I don’t know if it counts though).
Who’s your favorite superhero?
This is the worst question to ask me!! From the X-Men, I love Blink, Storm, and Jubilee. From Marvel, I’d die for Spider-man and all his variations (Spiderham for life). From DC, I really love Catwoman, the whole Batfam, and Kid Flash.
Who’s your favorite Disney Princess?
Shuri. But also Mulan and Rapunzel.
Where’s the first place you’re going to go after social distancing is over?
I will go on a walk on my nearby trail since I haven’t been in a few months!! I miss the outdoors.
Cookies or Cake?
BOTH I HAVE THE BIGGEST SWEET TOOTH.
What show could you watch over and over?
Young Justice and Friends. I don’t really think I could rewatch shows, but I rewatch powerful scenes all the time.
Favorite song lyric?
Every now and then it hits me, that I’m the one who got away. But I guess being lonely fits me.
Favorite season of your favorite TV show?
Imagine having a favorite TV show. But seriously, if we’re just talking about seasons from shows I watch, Season 3 of Teen Wolf is unparalleled.
What never fails to make you smile/happy?
Funny scenes from TV shows that I find on YouTube OR Caitlyn Rae videos.
How are you doing with all that’s going on in the world?
Okay. Just really trying to get as much studying done for my AP tests as possible. I wish I could go on a walk because ironically I now have free time. My mom is also driving me crazy with all of her precautions, but it honestly could be a lot worse so I’ll deal.
TV Show or Movie?
80% of the time, TV Show. But if I’m short on time/willpower, for sure a movie.
Underrated artist?
Frank Ocean. ALWAYSSS.
Favorite Holiday?
Halloween + all of the winter holidays. Just love the comfort.
A song that describes you?
A Little Love Song By Tinashe or Boys Liek You by Tanarelle IN TERMS OF TONE NOT CONTENT
Describe your Tumblr in 3 Words:
Funny but Meaningful.
Favorite Book?
A Darker Shade of Magic or Six of Crows.
Favorite Candy?
Not super big on candy, I prefer chocolate. But I like gummy bears and Swedish Fish.
How many siblings do you have?
One younger sister.
What’s your zodiac sign?
TAURUSBABYYY
Where in the world would you most like to travel?
I cannot express how badly I want to travel. First place, probably London. Then work through Europe and hit all of Asia. But if I could go to any location at all throughout time, I want to visit Babylon so badly.
Do you speak any other languages?
Telugu and Spanish, but I can understand some French.
Something you wish people knew about you?
Nothing, people should stay away from me and leave me be.
Describe your style in three words:
Anything I (Fucking-)Like
Favorite Weather?
Spring. I need sun to work. But I also love rain.
Most-Used Emoji?
❤️
First OTP you had and how you feel about them now?
Lowkey Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo. Still love them together.
Favorite Disney remake?
Aladdin.
What is your phone case like?
Silicon lavender. I love it.
Favorite food to cook/bake?
All food. I’m a big foodie. I love to cook and bake.
If you could save or bring back one TV show, what would it be?
THE GIFTED BRING IT BACK I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL DIE WITH THIS SHOW IF DISNEY SERIOUSLY BOUGHT FOX FOR X-MEN BUT DOESNT DO ANYTHING IM DESTROYING THEM BRICK BY BRICK—
What book would you like to see as a TV adaptation?
I want to see An Ember In The Ashes and the Renegades series as movie series, but I think The Lunar Chronicles would be great for TV. A Darker Shade of Magic would do wonderfully as a mini-series.
Most Hated Chore?
Trash. DisgusTING.
What is your guilty pleasure trashy TV show?
Grey’s Anatomy. Everyone’s lowkey terrible. Except Christina and Lexie.
One song you love but you hate the artist?
All Halsey songs. And most Justin Bieber songs. But I don’t really hate them as people, I just DO NOT understand their decisions. And that’s not up to me to understand.
One movie/episode that makes you cry?
I don’t cry easily from TV. But I think I will always cry watching the Tale of Princess Kaguya.
MY QUESTIONS:
Favorite subject to learn about?
Favorite sport to watch?
Do you hate folding laundry?
Do you prefer warm or cold environments?
Favorite cartoon as a kid?
Favorite vegetable?
Favorite cuisine?
Do you get along with your family?
Spiral or composition notebooks?
Color pencils or paints?
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I love that we have the choice of running water, we can watch funny things on TV, and with the press of 3 buttons our laundry does itself and comes out fresh and clean (sometimes). I love flushing the toilet and being able to stock my pantry with a few shopping trips at stores filled with pretty jars and brightly colored boxes. And the vacuum, God bless it, let us not forget the vacuum.
I’ve added a few other items to my life to bring some modern ease into my domestic duties; a bread maker from the Hospice thrift and…hum, well I guess that is it. I did get a handheld milk frother but that isn’t so modern. I guess when held up to say a Nescafe Dolce Gusto, it seems victorian.
I once dreamt of owning a Dolce Gusto coffee and latte machine. I had it on my Christmas list. With Christmas, my husband and I don’t get each other gifts. We indulge the children and I make candy and cookies for neighbors and friends. I cook for family as their gift. But this is a magical time that I adore and I usually grant myself a wish or two as a Christmas gift to myself. It is usually an item to decorate the home to make it more charming like a lovely quilt for the family bed or a kitchen gadget to bring more joy into the adults lives like a stovetop Italian espresso maker. I think that is fair and fine.
I love old fashioned things to use in my house. I use them mostly to force me to slow down and be present when cleaning or cooking. I learned this from the Amish. Not that I’ve ever been around them but I’ve read enough Amish fiction and philosophy to get what they are working at. A connection and communion with the Creator, Spirit. You must slow down and get very quiet to hear that the Universe has to share.
I percolate my coffee on the stove to smell the aroma waft through the house in the morning and I use a wooden broom to sweep my wooden floors. That was inspired by Tibetan monks. Don’t ask.
Modern technology was meant to make life easier but people are so busy now. Busier than an 1800’s farmer. They at least slowed down in the winter. Most people cram jam as much into a day and week and monthly schedule as possible. And most people are using liquor or pills to calm down. Interesting, right?
Why not mimic some of farmer grandma’s ways? Let’s take some of great grandma’s frugality and thrift from the Depression Era. Then borrow a little 1950’s housewife scheduling and work, add modern tools and voila!! You have a balanced, cozy, pleasant life.
Farmers used to go with the seasons. Maybe they still do but I read about the old days often so I don’t know what farm life is like today. I would think they went by the natural days light and each season had its specific chores and routines. They worked hard but all the work was for their family, their farms, their land, their homes. They worked long hours when it called for it and had slow days in between. Although the farmer’s work is ongoing and can be grueling, it is also natural. Farm work is done with the hands, takes focus and being in tune with the flow of seasons and the needs of creatures that depend on them, and it’s mostly outdoors in nature with sunshine, fresh air, and the domestic and wild critters. No long days under fluorescent lighting and ringing phones and instant messages, and constant dinging cell phones. The commute is to the barn, to the fields, back to the barn, to the house and repeat.
Depression Era, now here is a subject that has fascinated me lately. I had a book suggested to me ( We Had Everything But Money) that changed my whole perspective on what we really need and how to live simply to survive any financial crisis…or to just have a peaceful existence and not be a slave to money. You learn to wisely work with the money to best have it serve the families needs.
Depression Era homemakers were shrewd, wise, creative. They learned to work with very little, repurpose everything and anything that came into their home and how to be sustainable and resourceful. They made dresses from flour and sugar sacks, had kitchen gardens instead of lawns, and knew how to can any food imaginable. They made every penny count and wasted nothing. They were living greener than anyone in this day and age.
The 1950’s housewife was still making things from scratch and hand cranking the laundry but life was getting easier with washing machines, supermarkets, and vacuums. Now she didn’t need the kitchen garden and canning was already done at the factory. It was new gadgets and a car in the driveway. However, there was still a woman in the home and a focus on tending to the running of it and the care of the family.
Now we have everyone at work and school, after-school activities, long nights at the office, longer commutes, sports and extracurricular classes for the kids, quotas to meet, standardized testing, hours of homework, bringing work home…how depressing just thinking of it.
People were driven by simple living and dreams, family and faith. Now they are driven by money, pride, greed, a desire for titles, raises, promotions, and success.
Children are being driven beyond breaking and literally crazy by the pressure. I was reading in Free to Learn by Peter Gray, that suicides have quadrupled since the ’50s amongst children under 15 years old. And yet we still keep increasing the hours at school and homework and now most kids study during the summer. There is no play, no relaxing, no being a child.
And adults…where do I start? There is definitely not much fun or time for much of anything outside the job work and housework and running errands and taking the kids around to forced classes. And it is all for what in the end?
If you wound up on your death bed tomorrow, what would you think of this life? Would you still be thinking of the files on your desk at work and the laundry? Or would you luxuriate in sweet thoughts of the last few days with your family and playing in your garden or baking sweet bread in your kitchen?
All this hustle and bustle is for kids to get into that college and for us to get that raise or promotion. Then there is the desire for more money. But when is it enough and where do we stop and say, “that is just about right”. We don’t. We want more and more and more.
I see it on YouTube where I live part time myself with my vlog and researching canning and homesteading. Some vloggers are very successful but the more successful they become the fancier and fandangled they get and the YouTubers start selling things and promoting companies that sponsor them…even though they are making more than enough and talking about sustainability and simple living. Ha! We get greedy, it’s in our cells. We are hunters and gatherers by heart and we just keep collecting, consuming, gathering, pushing…
I was getting a bit driven myself and became irritable and didn’t have that much time for my children and play. Play? what is that, good Lord?
Then I deleted all my social media. Ahhh…that felt nice and a cool breeze swept through the valley. Then I stopped writing books at my corporate pace. I stopped forcing things and setting goals. I took up colored pens and filled the kiddie pool. I’m baking more bread, purging the house of clutter because I’m tired of cleaning and organizing “stuff”. Have I completely changed my life? No. I’m still figuring it out because I have been on a hampster wheel myself with working and producing.
But what is helping me find that sweet spot is my memories of our lives in Walnut Grove, when we lived on a fruit farm by the river. We had just moved there from our community by the coast and it was isolated. The town had less than 800 citizens and four miles away. The large town was a 40-minute drive if you wanted to purchase groceries or shop at Walmart or any super store. My husband worked long hours and six days a week. We had one car and walking anywhere was out of the question. The river road had no sidewalk and people drove wild and fast. The only place to walk was around the alfalfa fields or through the orchards. Trips to town were planned once a week. All my friends and family lived hours away now and I only had one elder named Alice to keep me company and help me adjust to life in a pear orchard and scorching hot days.
Alice and my family along with a vacation house for the owners of the farm were the only houses there. We listened to the thick chirp and chatter of birds in the morning and the howls and calls of coyote at night.
It was lonely but one of the most peaceful and pleasant times of our lives. I had small children that required nothing more than lots of love, nursing, and me sitting nearby as they played with sand toys and blocks. We had an antenna but didn’t watch much TV. We just had these slow days of hanging out. The babies played and explored with me just there to make sure they didn’t get into dangerous situations or eat too much sand and I read stacks of Amish fiction, made casseroles, baked treats, hung my clothes on the old clotheslines, and cleaned my home.
On a farm, you feel the full seasons. In the summer you have routines to keep the house cool such as opening and closing blinds with the suns direction, running the whole house fan, and doing chores early and taking walks in the evening. In the winter you get up early to build a fire to warm the house and you bake and cook a lot to keep the house warm. You rise with the sun naturally and go to bed soon after the sunset and cleaning the kitchen. You learn what fruits are in season when and pick them at the peak of ripeness. You only go to town once a week and you make it count.
I wasn’t working on a writing career or any other side work back then. I was just tending to my house and family and I had all the time in the world to read luxuriously under our huge olive tree. We used to take drives through the country and farms to explore our area in the summer evenings. Friends loved to visit because it was so calm and quiet. We would lounge about eating good foods and talking endlessly.
Today I’m busy by my own making of goals and challenges and the boys are bigger and full of energy. We have gardens and homeschooling. But I crave that slower life once again. So, I’m on a quest to downsize and remove all that isn’t bringing this family enjoyment or enhancing the quality of our lives. I purposely buy gadgets that slow the pace and I do things by hand or make food from scratch.
My suggestion is to clear the calendar, clear out the clutter, clear that schedule, try to reduce work so there are times you put in a long day and times you sit about reading all day. Find ways and reasons to work and play outside. All that cement and fluorescent lighting aren’t good for the soul. Stop signing your kids up for all those classes. What will make them smarter, happier, healthier, and more confident is having time to be children, to play freely and if you would just let them be.
As for you the working parent or homemaker…find ways to simplify and learn to savor life. Plant a kitchen garden, start making your own bread, take time to learn sewing or painting, can jam. These things are like a balm to the soul.
Rates of suicides amongst children and rates of depression and stress-induced death amongst adults are rising faster every year. It is a serious thing and it is self-induced to keep up with the trends and chase the almighty dollar. No title, no promotion, no amount of money will be worth all the lost years with family and friends, with your children…with yourself. Take back your life, scale down life to something small and delicious and find ways to save money and live smaller by growing your own food, canning, mending clothes, living under your means, having one car, getting rid of cable and whatever else to bring down the bills.
Trust me, the less you have the more you thrive if done wisely.
Homemaking like our grandmothers. I love that we have the choice of running water, we can watch funny things on TV, and with the press of 3 buttons our laundry does itself and comes out fresh and clean (sometimes).
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Panama to Colombia
Hello from the Cartagena Aeropuerto! We made it safe and sound across the rough seas from Panama to Colombia (although I did not think we would during some points). I’m going to rewind to Panama City. Our days there were very chill, just as the rest of Panama had been for us. For the last two nights we stayed in a really nice hotel called the Tryp by Wyndham. It had a pool, a steam room, a sauna, a buffet breakfast, and a nice room for us to organize our things before our big 5 day sailing trip. I bought a GoPro before leaving the city because Eric’s had stopped working as long ago as Costa Rica. We really wanted one for the boat, and for the rest of South America - and I’m glad we did as I have some amazing footage to show you! On our final day in Central America Eric and I ventured to the Panama Canal to see the famous Miraflores Locks. There was an interesting museum; but what we were most interested in was getting to see the canal in action with a cruise ship! I’m glad we left the hotel for that. The rest of our final night was dedicated to packing and getting ready for the early 5am bus pick-up.
Sailing Day 1:
‘The 5am bus pick-up and the windy road to the boat day’
I really didn’t need to get motion sick before going out on the water, but that drive did it. We were taken out to our beautiful catamaran “The Santana” by a small boat and were greeted by our friend Greg - the Captain. After organizing passports and assigning beds (he gave Eric and I the biggest one closest to the back - thank god), we were sailing around the San Blas Islands. While we were sailing, a pod of dolphins started swimming right in front of our boat! They were jumping and playing and keeping up with us. I love them! Our first stop wasn’t too far from our take off point, and it was paradise. We parked in front of a tiny 400 meter long Island covered with Palm trees and white sand. After a beer or two Eric and I went for a snorkel. We saw huge starfish, a mini lobster, a mini eel, and several fish. It was pretty good for our first time in the water. After that it was dinner and socializing with our new friends (17 of us in total).
Sailing Day 2:
‘The oh my god I can’t believe I got trapped on the reef twice day’
We woke up, had breakfast, and did a short sail to our next stop in the San Blas. Greg parked the boat in front of two small islands perpendicular to each other. This is where we would spend the day and night. So we hopped in the crystal clear water and began our snorkelling adventure. The water and the reef at this location were breathtaking. Eric and I were so into what we saw that we didn’t realize we were being pushed towards to the shallowest part of the reef. There came a point where the sharp coral was only inches below us, and the breaking waves only pushed us further onto it. We were both at a point where we were literally stuck on the reef and we couldn’t make our way back to the deeper water. It was very painful as the waves hit and my body was scraped up against the rock. Our only option was to walk along the coral to the shore of the beach. However, there were sea urchins everywhere! Every step was a gamble of stepping or not stepping on the spiky creatures. Not to mention the waves didn’t help with balance. Someone from the shore threw me his fins so I could walk to the beach. Eric did it barefoot, and luckily we both made it. However, I had massive scrapes, scratches, and sea urchin sores on my arms and legs. It was not fun. After that traumatic experience, we walked the length of the beach in search of a different snorkel destination where that would never happen again. So after a few pictures and one of Eric’s famous backflips we went back into the water at the tip of the island. Well, guess what happened? Everything was going smoothly until I got to the point of the waves hitting the reef. The water started getting shallower and shallower, and I was carried to a point on the reef where I was trapped again. This time I had a major breakdown because again I was getting tossed on top of the rocks. I caught my balance, sat on the reef and cried. I didn’t know what to do or why something so stupid happened twice within an hour. Again, sea urchins surrounded me, and my only option this time was to get past the breaking waves to the deeper water which seemed impossible. Eric swam over and talked me through it. I slowly made my way to him and somehow made it out of reef prison. Once we were in the deeper water, we were able to snorkel along the reef and not over top of it. It was so amazing, and near the end of our experience a beautiful eagle ray joined us. He glided around us and with us for about 15 minutes. Thank goodness for the GoPro and the footage we got of him. After that we swam back to our boat for lunch. Then Greg took our group to the other island where we hung out for the afternoon. We played beach volleyball, swam in the ocean, and enjoyed each other’s company. Then it was back to the boat for dinner. Lobster dinner. Fresh lobster dinner. It was probably the best lobster I have ever eaten. After dinner half of our group went to bed and half of us went back to the island for a bonfire and some coco locos (rum filled coconuts). On the mini boat ride over a another pod of dolphins decided to join alongside. It was dark, but Greg had a flashlight so we could see the dolphins playing. The bonfire that night was fun. It was very chill, but a great way to end a beautiful day.
Sailing Day 3:
‘The we’re not actually leaving for Colombia today because of the wind so everyone gets a bonus Day day’
Greg asked if it would be okay if we stayed where we were for one more night instead of hitting the open water that day. We all cheered. I went for a little snorkel by myself that morning (making sure to distance myself from the shallows of the reef), and came across an octopus! It was so interesting to watch him camouflage to whatever colour surrounded him. He put his defence up when I put my GoPro in his face, so fair enough. I felt so lucky to see him so close! I wanted Eric to see, so I swam back to the boat to get him. A group of us went out together in search of the creature but couldn’t find him. We came across a neat looking sting ray, but that was really it for animals we saw besides fish. We went back to the boat for some lunch, then Eric and I decided to go on a big snorkel expedition the other way along the reef and island. We geared up and were in the water for about 2 hours. The reef was absolutely stunning. We saw a trunkfish (like a box fish), a stonefish, and a massive pufferfish. By the time we got out of the water onto the beach we had goosebumps even though the sun was blistering hot. We were definitely in the water too long. We were pretty tired out, so swam back to the boat for an afternoon siesta. That evening we were invited back to the Island for another bonfire with another boat. So off we went to meet a whole new group of people and kind of celebrate my birthday. It ended up being another great night.
Sailing day 4:
‘The it’s my birthday, but all I want to do is die day’
I took a gravol in the morning thinking it would save me a little bit. Well I was wrong. I slept a lot of the day, but the ocean was so rough, that when I got up I couldn’t hold anything in. I threw up about 7 times while I was awake. I couldn’t eat anything, or move. I literally felt like I was dying. It was horrible. Eric was feeding me pills (which I threw up), and food (which I threw up), and water (which I threw up). Thank god for him looking after me and watering me like a little plant he was trying to bring back to life. But I just couldn’t. I slept as much as possible to avoid the feeling...
Sailing day 5:
‘The shit we still have about 24 hours of open water sailing, I’m going to try to sleep for 23 of them day’
Yep. We were still on the ocean every time I woke up. I had to plan my bathroom trips, and when I would try to eat something, and when I would drink water as not to become dehydrated. I mainly slept though. A lot of people slept. It was like the rocking of the boat put everyone to sleep. There was a point where I got up and watched the sunset and actually appreciated being at sea. But that lasted 20 minutes tops, because I felt nauseous right after that. So I slept.
Sailing day 6:
‘The I’ve never been more relieved to see a city skyline and hear the drop of an anchor day’
It was 5am, and the rocking of the boat stopped. My head was still swaying, but I was so happy to see the skyscrapers of Cartagena line the bay. We wouldn’t get off the boat until about 9am, so I went back to sleep. They fed us breakfast that morning, and once Greg sorted out immigration we were free! I stepped on the land and felt so dizzy, yet was so relieved. Eric and I went to our air bnb right away. It was a nice apartment in the city with AC, a shower (thank god after 6 days), a kitchen, and laundry. We spent our first day in Cartagena doing laundry, cooking, and re organizing our things after being on the boat. That night our group met up in Old Town at a bar called the Black Parrot so we could have a few drinks together and get our passports back. Lewis (the cook on our boat) baked me a birthday cake and everyone sang! It was such a nice surprise and I felt pretty special. After the birthday I had puking on the boat, I was so happy to be celebrating with everyone in Cartagena.
Overall, I am glad I did the sailing trip from Panama to Colombia. It was an experience of a lifetime, and the time spent around the San Blas Islands were amazing. I really liked our group as well. The people were awesome - passengers and crew. However, I don’t think an open water sailing trip on a boat that size is in the cards for me again. I am realizing more and more that I am not a boat person. I’m not “motion” person really. Rollercoasters are sliding down on my list of things to do as are sailing trips. It’s all good now! We’ve been in Colombia for 3 days, and are currently flying to Medellín (I’ve left the airport and am on the plane). The past couple days in Cartagena were good. Eric and I explored a Spanish Castle (more like a Fort), went to a museum, walked around the old town, ate the food, met up with friends, and really enjoyed the scorching hot city. Our next stop is the home town of Pablo Escobar! Like I said we’re all caught up on Narcos, so I’m excited to explore Medellín.
I should go now, the motion of the plane is making me a little dizzy 😉
AP 💕
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