#I’m so glad I bought the group photo op

[lord-lawnmower]

I remember walking in the door at son of monsterpalooza and immediately spotting Mr. Moseley’s banner within 30 ft from the door. I was NOT ready to walk into the con and instantly meet him. Caroline Williams’ booth was right next to his too. I told her she has the best horror movie scream ever! I was soooo star struck. She loved me for my KOKLA shirt! Bill Johnson was so sweet to me and very modest when I told him he’s my favorite Leatherface.

[thislovintime]

Peter Tork on the set of Head, April 11, 1968; photos by Michael Ochs Archives.

“I’d always had deep doubts, ever since the session for ‘Last Train To Clarksville.’ I walked in there with my guitar and Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart looked at me with derision and scorn, like, ‘Guitar in your hand, you fool!’ That was the end of it for me. Right there I was done with The Monkees in large measure.” - Peter Tork, Head 1994 liner notes (x)

“When The Monkees were big, I couldn’t handle the pressure. I missed the easy, street-level camaraderie of my Greenwich Village days.” - Peter Tork, Uncut, 2019

“[M]y personal belief is that Bob [Rafelson] is an evil-minded man. He likes to bring people down. Bob was often unsupportive as a human being and distinctly negative — and I was on the short end of that.” - Peter Tork, MOJO, June 2002 (x)

“The movie portrays them with not so much sweetness and brightness [as the TV show]. It’s a much heavier and far-out thinking group. I wouldn’t call it uncharitable. I thought it was expanding my sense of who they were. There’s a boxing scene in which Micky says, ‘Take this, you dummy.’ Suddenly the music changes and Peter appears in the corner, Christ-like, and says, ‘Micky, I’m the dummy. I’m always the dummy.’ The point was that he was always asked to be the dummy, so here he’s acknowledging it. But he’s also the one who’s given the longest speech in the movie about spiritual evolution, which he’s learned from the guru in the steam room. I was trying to give him a chance to be himself, but in a symbolic way. He is that way today, by the way. In other words, The Monkees became what they really were.” - Bob Rafelson, MOJO, June 2002

“When I recorded ‘Can You Dig It,’ the guitar solo originally ran about three or four minutes all by itself. We cut that back to a minute and a half. Bob Rafelson took a pair of scissors and snipped off the end of it. He didn’t ask me to shorten it, which I would have been glad to do. He just chopped it off. Son of a bitch! I have a lot of gripes about that, but that’s neither here nor there.” - Peter Tork, Blitz!, May/June 1980 (x)

“We gave him a watch and our blessing when he left. We never thought of replacing him — there's only one Peter Tork in the world. Who knows, maybe in two or three years' time he'll come back?” - Michael Nesmith, Melody Maker, March 1, 1969

“Peter and I were the bulk of the playing ability because we were musicians. But when Peter left it rather unnerved Davy and [Micky] — and I changed my mind [about quitting]. After all, the personal appearances were pretty well satisfying, the music was fun, and the whole thing was fairly lucrative. And Davy and [Micky] left alone would have been in real trouble.” - Michael Nesmith, Disc & Music Echo, September 19, 1970

Q: “So, when you left, did you want to be known as the former Monkee or did you want to erase that part of your past —” Peter Tork: “I tried to erase it.” Q: “— and start anew.” PT: “I tried to erase it completely.” Q: “How do you do that?” PT: “Well, you just don’t do anything connected with it, just absolutely refuse to have anything to do with it, and… basically what I did was I retreated into — I wound up retreating into Marin County, California, which is just north of San Francisco. And there I worked, I belonged to a worker-owned restaurant, waited tables and was part of the cooperative that owned and operated the restaurant. Nominally owned the restaurant; it was actually owned by this guy whose parents had left him some GM stock, and he bought this thing and the co-op was supposed to pay him to buy him out over the long haul. I think they have done finally, I think it’s now a real workers’ co-op. And I worked there, and I retreated, and nobody said anything to me about my Monkees past except one or two guys said, you know, 'I’m glad to see you just on the street schlepping around,' that kind of thing, which made me feel good. I belonged to a few groups; I belonged to a thing called the Fairfax Street Choir, which had 35 voices in the rock section and was very hard to stage. (laughs) Those little coffee house stages, 35 guys and women. And I also belonged to a kind of second on the bill act in San Francisco called Osceola for a year or so. And that kind of thing. And nobody said anything about The Monkees to me.” - NPR, June 1983

[echoes-of-the-clockwork]

Book One: Gold (Prompto x Reader) Chapter VI

The next morning, (Y/n) wandered into the convenience store. She offered to do some shopping for the boys and stock up on supplies for their dangerous trip ahead. She looked around at the items on display, wondering what all she should buy with the gil Ignis gave her. While staring at a few potions on the shelves, memories from the past filled her mind. She remembered the time when they were only 12 and Prompto was living with his adoptive parents. They didn't know about her due to the blonde keeping her hidden in the gemstone whenever they were around.

When his parents went to work one day, they left a sick Prompto behind. She took it upon herself to take care of him while they were gone. She was forced to head to a nearby store for some medicine and was gone for almost an hour due to not being familiar with human remedies. By the time she got back, he was crying. Tears were streaming down his face as he wailed at the top of his lungs. A sniffle came from him every now and then. She learned he was crying because he couldn't find her and thought she'd left him for good. The spirit reassured him before showing him what she bought at the store to help with his cold.

Suddenly, (Y/n) was torn from her thoughts when Ardyn strolled over. She tried to ignore him, but it was futile when he blocked her from grabbing some potions. She kept calm and did her best to be nice. "May I squeeze by and get some potions?"

"Why, of course." He stepped aside. "My apologies, (Y/n)."

She grabbed a few potions and elixirs, ignoring the man when she noticed he was staring at her. She headed to the counter and paid for the items, but she was once again stopped by Ardyn when he blocked the entrance of the store. She looked up at his face, seeing his somewhat unsettling smile. "What?"

"I must say, young Prompto truly is fortunate to have you by his side," he said.

Her eyes narrowed. She wasn't sure what made him say such a thing. "And what brought this up?"

"A mere observation on my part, is all." He sighed dramatically. "Oh, if only Callyx was as dedicated."

"Maybe it's not him, but you. Now if you'll excuse me..." She pushes past him to exit the convenience store and returns to the caravan. She handed the curatives to Ignis, who thanked her.

Once they were all ready to ship out, they left the caravan. Noctis begrudgingly spoke with Ardyn inside the store to tell the man they were ready to leave. Callyx told (Y/n) she no longer had to ride with them before entering the red car alongside his auburn-haired man. The girl didn't complain and sat in between Gladio and Ignis in the backseat of the Regalia. Noctis started the engine once everyone was inside the car.

Like the day before, Noctis followed a safe distance behind Ardyn's car. After leaving Cauthess Coernix Station, Gladio glanced at their destination that loomed in the distance. "Whoever thought of tapping into the Meteor's power was a genius."

Prompto glanced at the Disc. "Can you even go near that thing?"

"They harvest fragments found nearby-pieces that broke off when the Meteor fell. Almost fell, I should say, for the Archaean caught it," Ignis explained.

"And he's still there, holding the thing up," Gladio added.

"Guess he never misses leg day," Noctis commented.

"Or any day for that matter," Prompto said.

"His unceasing toil and the Meteor's might form the tenets of worship for the locals of Duscae," the advisor stated.

"Makes you wonder what it's like down there at his feet," the shield voiced his thoughts out loud.

"Speaking of gods, that Callyx guy seems to know a lot about an Astral that's supposedly forgotten," Noctis said.

"It's possible Callyx has access to ancient texts that mention Brahma. He did tell me a little more about the seventh Astral," (Y/n) chimed in. "The creator god's consciousness resides within the Celestial Crescent."

"You mean that cluster of stars you told me about?" Prompto asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. Callyx even asked me if I was hearing voices coming from it."

"Are you?" Gladio inquired.

"Well..." She clasped her hands together in her lap. "I'm...not sure. I think I hear a voice, but I can't say for certain."

"Eh, don't worry about it, (Y/n)," Prompto said. "Let's tackle one all-mighty being before worrying about another."

"Couldn't agree more," Noctis stated.

Ignis, after a couple minutes of silence, spoke up and discussed another topic. "So you know, it's hot where we're going. Will the camera fare all right?"

Prompto lifted up his camera, examining the device. "As long as I avoid open flames, it should be okay. I think."

"We don't have a spare if it breaks," Gladio said.

"Leave it in the car?" Noctis suggested.

"Oh no, I'm taking it. Not every day you get up close and personal with the Archaean. I'd kick myself if I missed the photo op," Prompto replied.

"Spoken like a true photographer," the brute remarked.

"As they say, "Better to try and fail than never to try at all"."

Noctis grinned. "Look at you."

"Well, they say that, not me," the blonde said.

"Well, you just do what you gotta."

"But in all seriousness, try not to break it. It was expensive," (Y/n) chimed in.

"I'd never break it! It's very precious to me, especially since you're the one who bought it for me," Prompto stated.

"You bought it? With what money?" Gladio questioned, glancing at the girl sitting beside him.

"I used to work in a small boutique in Insomnia. It was run by a spirit like myself. I worked hard for every yen I spent on that camera." The guardian leaned back in her seat. "She was the first spirit I met. Callyx is the second."

"Wow. Are spirits really that rare?" Noctis asked.

"Yeah. It'll take some serious dedication on the empire's part if they want to wipe out all the spirits on Eos."

The group, once again, fell silent. Noctis kept his attention on road to ensure he wasn't too far or too close to Ardyn's car. Prompto glanced into the backseat at (Y/n) before looking towards Ignis. "Hey, Iggy. Can your glasses take the heat?"

At the mention of his glasses, the strategist adjusted them. "Well, I don't see why they shouldn't."

"Even if they couldn't, he'd still be all right," Noctis commented.

Gladio nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Iggy's eyes ain't that bad."

Prompto was flabbergasted at the news. "Oh, really?"

"My vision is passable without corrective lenses," Ignis explained.

"Then why not take 'em off sometimes?"

"Well..."

Noctis snorted with laughter. "You don't get it, huh?"

"Ignis likes his world to be crystal clear," the shield said.

"Indeed. I've never been one for ambiguity," the advisor claimed.

"Ah. I think I'm getting the picture now." Prompto sat back down, turning to face the front.

"What if they were to break? Do you have a spare pair?" (Y/n) questioned out of curiosity.

"I'm afraid not," the bespectacled man answered.

Drawing closer to the Disc of Cauthess, Prompto has one more question to ask the strategist. "Hey Ignis, how's it feel being away from the wheel?"

"Positively frightening," Ignis responded honestly.

Noctis glanced at him in the rear view mirror, eyes narrowed. "What're you sayin'?"

"That I'm no stranger to His Highness' driving habits."

"'Preciate the confidence."

"Wait," (Y/n) sat up slightly. "Is he really that bad of a driver?"

"Morosely, yes," Ignis replied.

"I mean, he can't be that bad...can he?"

"Trust us, short stuff, he's the worst driver you could ever meet," Gladio said.

"I'm not that bad!" Noctis shouted.

"But you admit you're bad," Prompto cackled.

The prince rolled his eyes. "Ugh..."

After another minute or two, they arrived at the Cauthess barricade. It was sealed tight with imperial troopers watching the perimeter. What shocked the group the most was the lack of hostility from the enemy soldiers.

"We're here," Ardyn chirped.

"Better not be a setup," Noctis commented.

The auburn-haired man glanced over at him. "Have I given you reason to doubt me?"

"You don't exactly inspire confidence," Prompto answered.

Gladio was in agreement with the blonde. "Yeah, not very straightforward."

"Neither of you are," (Y/n) mumbled, eyeing both men in the car beside the Regalia.

Ardyn looked away from the group and shouts over the wall. "Hello! It's me! Be so kind as to open up!"

At his lighthearted command, the gates open. Prompto gasped in shock at how easy it was for the man to gain access to the Disc. "Wow, that worked?"

"I may not look like much, but I do have some influence. Aren't you glad we came together? Your audience with divinity lies ahead."

"You're leaving?"

"I drop you at the Archaean's open door, and with that, bid you farewell."

As Noctis drives the Regalia through the open gates, (Y/n) spared one last glance toward the red car. Her golden eyes locked with Callyx's emerald ones for a split second before they were too far apart to see each other. Even with his stoic expression, she could sense something much more sinister under the surface.

"I've met some weirdos..." Gladio mumbled.

"I hope we never meet those two again," Ignis remarked.

"Whoa! Little harsh there, don't you think?" Prompto asked.

"There's something off about those two..." (Y/n) muttered.

"Glad we agree," Noctis said.

The prince continued to drive the car down the dirt path until they came to what appeared to be a dead end. The five hop out of the Regalia and located a narrow pathway to the side. They follow the path and eventually stumble upon a stone sarcophagus. Prompto recognizes the design and asked, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Didn't expect to find a royal tomb here," Ignis expresses his own bewilderment.

Gladio elbowed the prince. "Would be a shame not to grab that power, eh, Highness?"

"Let's grab it and go," Noctis blandly stated.

As the raven-haired boy walks up to the sarcophagus near the ledge, (Y/n) heard a voice again from above. It was the same one she heard yesterday. Looking up at the sky, her golden-slitted eyes focused on the Celestial Crescent. She felt as if someone had put her under a trance. Unconsciously, she walked forward a few steps and came to a halt when the disembodied voice addressed her.

You...the...

"Are you...Brahma?" The girl whispered.

Vessel...mine...

(Y/n) was still in a dream-like trance when the ground begins to shake dramatically. She managed to keep her balance while all the boys weren't so lucky. Prompto and Ignis fall down while Gladio and Noct just barely manage to keep themselves upright. "Here we go again," Prompto said, bracing himself.

"This one's huge!" Gladio bellowed over the loud rumbling.

That's when Ignis notices the ground beginning to crack underneath Gladio, Noctis, and (Y/n). "Get away! Quickly!"

The spirit's gaze was still locked on the sky. She failed to notice the danger and hear the painful cries of the prince as he was overcome by another headache. She reached out a hand towards the sky just as the ground beneath her feet crumbled. She gasped when feeling a plummeting sensation in her gut, snapping out of the trance as she began to fall. The sound of Prompto shouting her name echoed in her ears.

(Y/n) feared for her life, but her fall was short-lived. A hand wrapped around her wrist and ceased her quick descent. "I've gotcha!" Her savior shouted. Looking up, she saw it was Prompto who grabbed her.

"Prompto..." The guardian whispered.

"Just hold on!" He shouted. Using his strength, he struggled slightly to pull her up. When he managed to pull her up onto solid ground, he sighed in relief. "Whew... That was close." He wiped the few sweat droplets off his forehead before gazing towards the girl. "Are you okay, (Y/n)?"

"I'm fine thanks to you," she smiled.

Just then, the Meteor begins to rise before them, revealing Titan. The Astral who has been holding the chunk of space debris on his back for many years makes his presence known. Prompto and (Y/n) stared in awe and fear at the sight of the mighty god. They both flinched when the Archaean's booming voice resounded out.

"So this is Titan..." The guardian mumbled.

Prompto, remembering Noctis and Gladio had also fell, peers over the ledge to check on them. He shouts when seeing they were both on a lower ledge. "Noct! You okay?!"

Ignis stood by the blonde and was relieved to see the prince and his shield were in one piece. "Thank heavens you're safe. Is there a way back up?"

"No, but there's a path. Gonna see where it leads," Noctis replied.

"You three try to get down," Gladio said.

The strategist nodded. "Very well. We'll look for a way. Be careful, now."

"You, too," the prince retorted.

"What? We're going where?!" Prompto shrieked.

"No time to dawdle," Ignis spoke up. "We must make haste."

(Y/n) wandered a little ways from the crumbling ledge and spotted a narrow, rocky path nearby. She noticed it went out of the way, but it was the only route leading down. "What about this path?"

"It's our only option," the advisor said.

"Then down we go!" Prompto cheered.

The trio wandered down the path, watching where they stepped. It was narrow and littered with jagged stones. Prompto slipped a few times due to being distracted by the rumbling caused by the Archaean. Luckily, (Y/n) caught him every time he stumbled. She sighed when he nervously laughed and thanked her every time.

They continued to listen to the Astral slam his mighty stone fist into the cliffside. They weren't able to see what damage the Titan was causing, but they were able to deduce who he was trying to reach-Noctis.

Ignis, Prompto, and (Y/n) soon arrived at a dead end. They looked around for another path, but they couldn't find one. When they walked over to a cliff, they saw a path below. Carefully, they slid down the small rocky slope and land on the path. As their feet landed on the ground, they spotted the Archaean's fist strike across the way. Ignis ushered them to move quickly.

All of a sudden, (Y/n) heard a faint humming. She looked around before glancing upward. Flying overhead were imperial drop ships. Seeing the empire had arrived, Ignis pulled out his phone and tried to get ahold of Noctis. When he managed to get ahold of the prince, he was relieved. "You're safe. Good. Listen, imperial troopers are near."

Morosely, that was all the advisor got to safe before the signal was lost and the call dropped. "Bloody hell," he hissed, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Prompto was about to ask Ignis about the call, but his attention was drawn to their left when he saw movement in his peripheral vision. "(Y/n), Iggy, we've got trouble!"

The advisor and spirit looked in the direction the blonde was. Their eyes widen when seeing Titan's open-palmed hand heading straight for them. The girl was the first to react. She shoved Ignis and Prompto to the ground just as the Astral tried to grab them.

When the Archaean's hand wrapped around (Y/n), she cried out in pain at how tight the god was gripping her. She could barely breath and only managed to gasp as Titan retracted his hand.

Prompto heard her painful wail and scurried to his feet. "(Y/n), no!" He summoned his pistol and aimed, but he was afraid of hurting her if he pulled the trigger and missed. He watched helplessly as she was dragged away by the god.

The guardian squirmed in Titan's grip. She lifted her head just as she realized she was at eye level with the Astral. She winced the moment the Archaean's booming voice echoed out. She couldn't understand what he was saying and could only stare into his eyes. Feeling the god's grip lighten, she gasped when she could breathe again.

Suddenly, her attention was drawn away from Titan when she heard the voice in the sky speak to her.

Chosen...one...

My...vessel...

(Y/n) blinked in surprise. "Brahma, are you the one talking to me?"

Yes...

You...are...my vessel...

She shook her head. "Please, don't choose me. I-I wouldn't even know what to do as the conduit! There's no way I could become your vessel!"

You are...worthy...

Child...of Pneuma...

Heed...my call...and do...my bidding...

Fear not...

I...shall...guide you...

(Y/n) gasped in pain, shouting at the top of her lungs when she felt an intense heat radiate in her chest. She clawed at her chest, the gemstone on her arm pulsating with a brilliant golden light. Blood trickled from her eyes and nose. She released one final bloodcurdling scream before falling unconscious. Her body went limp in the Archaean's hand.

Before the Astral could place the girl down, Noctis appeared out of thin air. He warped and struck the god's hand, forcing him to drop the guardian. The prince caught her and grabbed his sword. He warped them down to the ground near Titan's feet where Gladio, Ignis, and Prompto were waiting.

Once landing safely with (Y/n), that's when Noctis saw her bleeding eyes and nose. Prompto rushes over while Gladio and Ignis provide protection from the Astral. The blonde carefully took the girl's body out of the prince's arms and pulled her into his. His heart was racing with worry after seeing the blood and seeing she was unconscious. He quickly picked her up and carried her away from Titan as Noctis parries the god's fist. He gently placed her down on the ground, glancing between her and the others. Seeing they needed his help, he reluctantly left her side to rejoin the fight.

As the royal retinue continued to fight against the Archaean, more imperial drop ships arrived. The group was ready to deal with the empire, but they were relieved when Titan swatted away some of the ships before they could attack. With the imperials now disposed of, they continued to deal damage to the god.

Eventually, Noctis built up enough energy to activate the armiger. He dealt blow after blow before performing a joint attack with his companions. They dealt heavy damage, causing the Astral to lose his balance and fall to a single knee. After attacking, Ignis then hurls a Blizzard spell at the god's arm. "The game's up!"

Gladio and Prompto follow the advisor's lead and hurl yet more Blizzard spells at Titan's arm. "You're out!" The blonde shouted. The Archaean's left arm freezes from the elbow down.

"It's over!" Noctis swings his sword down into the arm, shattering it all the way up to the elbow. Titan then collapses. The prince turns around to face his friends. "Hey, we all still here?"

"Yep, still here," Gladio replied.

"If a little battered," Ignis added. "How is (Y/n)?"

Prompto gasped, eyes widening as he ran over to the girl. Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis stood behind the marksman as he tended to her. He fell to his knees beside her and used a potion. He wasn't sure if it would help, but he knew it wouldn't hurt to use one. Prompto cups her cheeks in his palms and wipes the blood off of them. He stared at her with a saddened expression. "(Y/n)...?"

He received no response.

Ignis checked on her and was able to tell she was physically fine on the outside. His only concerns were her bleeding nose and eyes, which could be a result of internal injuries. He assisted Prompto by helping him put the girl on his back. When seeing she was safely onto the sharpshooter's back, he stepped away.

Just then, the tremors resume. The ground shook violently. The group's gazes fell back on to Titan. "What-what is it now?" Noctis asked.

Ignis' eyes narrowed, watching the Astral closely. "What is he doing?"

"He's winding up!" Prompto shouted. His grip on (Y/n)'s thighs tighten and he took a few steps back, readying himself to run.

"For the big one!" Gladio bellowed.

Titan roars, his booming cry echoing all around the royal retinue. Gold lights begin to emanate from his body, some of which coalesce around Noctis, showing him the god's memory of Luna standing before the god. Once Luna fades, he watched another memory of the god fighting a cosmic being. Titan, although bigger than the cosmic being, fell to his knees after being defeated.

When the god's memory fades, Noctis blinks in surprise. "That was...Luna. You spoke with her. That's why... But what was with that other memory?"

Titan and the Meteor suddenly discorporate in a powerful flash that sends all the imperial ships in the vicinity crashing to the ground. Lava spews from the earth as the Disc of Cauthess crumbles around the boys.

"Doesn't get much worse than this," Gladio commented. The four find themselves trapped.

Suddenly, an imperial drop ship descends to their location. Ignis grew tense as the airship closed in on them. "The empire! Now?"

The drop ship's door lowers, revealing Ardyn and Callyx. The auburn-haired man smiled at them. "Fancy meeting you here!"

Noctis and the others stare at the two men in stunned silence. Callyx crosses his arms with a sigh. "Maybe they didn't hear you."

Ardyn continues. "It occurs to me I never formally introduced myself. Izunia. Ardyn Izunia."

Ignis was shocked at the revelation. "Imperial Chancellor Izunia?"

"At your service. And more importantly, to your aid."

None of the boys move, instead offering only uncertain stares. Prompto glared up at the two, remembering what the empire's plans were. He couldn't believe Callyx was working for the empire knowing they were hunting down and killing spirits.

"I guarantee your safe passage. Though you're always welcome to take your chances down there," Ardyn spoke up. He glanced around at the faces of the royal retinue after receiving no response. "Buried among the rubble, is it?"

Ignis looked away from the chancellor and guardian, eyeing the prince. "Dying here is not an option. We have no choice, Noct."

Noctis met his advisor's gaze. "I know."

Reluctantly, the boys board the airship. As the hatch closes behind them, Prompto placed (Y/n) down. He then sat down and pulled her body into his arms. He rested his head on top of hers, ignoring Ardyn as he tried to speak to the others. He closed his eyes, holding her tightly against him.

It wasn't long before Prompto's eyes flew open at the sound of approaching footsteps. Looking up, he saw Callyx and glared at him. He watched the emerald-eyed guardian kneel in front of him. The moment he tried to touch (Y/n), Prompto summoned his pistol and aimed it at the man's head. "Don't touch her."

Callyx retracted his hand before raising it as a sign of peace. "I only wanted to check on her. What happened?"

Prompto lowered his pistol slightly, but kept it aimed at the spirit. "I-I don't know..." He looked down at the girl slumped against his chest. "Why're you working with the empire? Aren't you the one that said they were killing spirits?"

"I made a deal with them a short while ago. They allowed me to keep my life in exchange for loyalty. I'm using my position to warn any guardians I come across. (Y/n) is the first guardian I've met outside the empire."

"Won't they kill you once they learn you're protecting other guardians?"

"Most likely, but I'm willing to risk my life to protect my people."

Even at Callyx's declaration, Prompto didn't trust him. He dispelled his pistol and chose to remain silent. The spirit walked away after taking the hint and rejoined Ardyn and the others.

Now alone, Prompto buried his face into (Y/n)'s (h/c) hair and whispered, "Please wake up soon..."

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

[anonsally]

Day 11 of holiday trip to Europe: Bolzano

This was our last day in the South Tyrol.

We had run out of milk, so we joined the in-law-in-laws for breakfast at their apartment. Then we all split up: the two girls stayed home to do homework. Wife, her sister, and her brother-in-law went on a tour/tasting at the local wine co-op, given by a local who’s an old friend of Wife’s sister. The rest of us, after a longer-than-expected stop at a schnapps store to taste and buy schnapps for friends back in Germany, drove about a half hour to Bolzano.

I would’ve liked to ride one of the three “cable cars” up into the mountains surrounding the town, but given that one of the in-law-in-laws gets motion sickness very easily, I knew this wasn’t an option. So I hope I go back someday. 

We spent a couple hours wandering around the old town admiring the buildings and shopping in little shops and markets. I, very characteristically, found a chocolate shop and spent some money there! But I also did a lot of waiting while the others chose local meat products to bring home for friends. We were planning to go to the archaeology museum but had to wait for the others, whose wine tour turned out to be longer than they had expected. We eventually got sandwiches at the Christmas market--mine was a grilled cheese-pretzel sandwich, and quite delicious. The same stand also sold what looked to be doughnuts in the shape of pretzels, but I knew we were planning to have a sweet dinner so I didn’t get one. 

Finally the others showed up, but they still needed to eat something. Wife and I went to a supermarket to get her something gluten-free, while the others bought sandwiches in the Christmas market like we had done. We told them we would meet them at the museum. We arrived there first. By the time we got there it was about 3:00 or so, and there was a long line out front. The museum guard estimated it would be an hour’s wait. Wife hates waiting, and even I thought that was a pretty long time, but on the other hand, the museum was one of the main things I wanted to see in Bolzano and I was frustrated with how little I’d gotten to do. When the others finally joined us, we told them the situation. But the line had started moving a bit faster, so in the end most of us agreed to go in. (I think we only waited less than a half hour.)

I’m so glad we stayed. The South Tyrol Museum of Archaeology is entirely dedicated to Ötzi the iceman--the mummy discovered in a glacier in 1991 by hikers in the Alps, in Italy but about 92 meters away from the border with Austria. It’s a great museum! Just the right size, and with engaging displays and great nuggets of just the right amount of information. There are cases displaying his clothing, shoes, hat, and possessions (including an axe, a longbow, some arrows, a belt with a pouch, and more), but the “main attraction” is the mummy itself. To be clear, this is not a person who was mummified as part of a funereal ritual. This is a man who died in the mountains and got buried by snow and ice so that his body was preserved for millennia. It is kept in what is essentially a freezer with a window you can look in. The mummy is sprayed frequently with sterile water in order to maintain the conditions that preserved it all this time. 

Studies are still being done, as technological and scientific advances have allowed us to find out more and more about him. He is about 5000 years old, and the copper axe he had with him implied that the Copper Age began at least 1000 years earlier than had previously been thought! He apparently ate his last meal less than an hour before he died, because it was still in his stomach (ibex meat and grain). There’s an arrowhead lodged in his shoulder. He was shot from behind, and the resulting blood loss is what killed him. But he was very well equipped, so this must have been an intentional murder rather than a random killing by bandits after his stuff. He also had a very deep cut on his hand from about 24-48 hours before his death, which seems to be a defensive wound. Other interesting facts they’ve learned: he was lactose-intolerant; he had atherosclerosis; his tattoos may have had a medical rather than decorative or spiritual purpose. Genetic testing showed that his maternal line has died out but his paternal line has not. Based on the presence of various minerals in his body, they were able to determine roughly where he was originally from (further south in Italy). 

Anyway, it was super interesting and we all enjoyed it. Then we headed back home for a dinner of salad and kaiserschmarrn, which is a shredded, thick, sweet pancake normally served with plum compote, but we used plum jam instead. It was delicious.

We played some more Ultimate Werewolf and then took a group photo with a timer, and then we hugged everyone goodbye and went back to our hotel to get ready to leave the next morning.

[superfitfor50]

Reflections on ClexaCon

 This was my first ever con. Next month I turn 50 and I’ve never really found my place.  I’ve always felt that there was something…somewhere I should be, that I wasn’t. I’ve got a suspicion that ClexaCon and similar cons is where I should have been.  I am very jetlagged and very tired.  I’m an introvert at heart and without time to reflect and process everything, which is what I didn’t have this last weekend, it was very tough for me and it will take me some time to get over that.  However, I’m a reflector and so far I’ve reflected on my experience and have not been able to find a single negative thing about it.

However, it’s so true what they say: you cannot please all of the people all of the time but ClexaCon has managed to please many people.  Did they get everything right?  No, they didn’t.  Did they get a lot of things right – yes, I think they did. I know there is a lot of Twitter chatter about things they could have done better, and I don’t disagree with any of it.  I feel that it’s extremely important that the organisers of this event (and kudos for the most part) listen and act on feedback that they receive so that this can become a flagship Con in the community.

Honestly, choosing 10 highlights was really hard, and when I’ve reflected some more I may remember other things.  I have already bored my wife rigid talking about it so it’s your turn. These are in no particular order and fair warning, I am Hollstein trash so make of my list what you will.

1.       My first highlight was the Hollstein panel.  These two genuinely wonderful people, who I had the absolute honour of getting to know a little better over the weekend are, honestly, the people that you most want to hang out with.  The panel, moderated by the genuinely insanely talented Dana Piccoli, was a very fitting end to day one.  I was so tired and suffering from excruciating jet lag, but hearing these two talk, and laugh and perform another one of Dana’s epic sketches, with the honourable addition of Annie Briggs, was an absolute joy. I have to share my favourite line on here when the topic of bike safety came up:

Natasha: But are you…you still wear a helmet when you bicycle

Elise:  It’s been a while

Natasha: No, you should

Elise: I know

Natasha: you’re worth more now

Elise (fits of laughter),

Natasha: Insure that shit!

Elise:  That’s hilarious

Natasha: I NEED YOU!! PLEASE WEAR A HELMET!

Elise, we all need you sweetie.

2.       Another highlight was the conversation that surrounded a particular photo op that I had with Kat Barrell, Dominique Provost-Chalkley, Annie Briggs, Natasha Negovanlis, and Elise Bauman, when I asked them if they wouldn’t mind lining themselves up in order of height. So, I won’t go into it but that was the cutest, silliest conversation.

 3.       I had breakfast with Natasha and she is genuinely one of the friendliest, most honest, earnest people that I‘ve met and my profession is literally to meet new people all the time.  There was a point, several points, in the breakfast where, due to the noise of other tables we couldn’t hear what other people were saying and she would ask them to repeat themselves.  However, if she couldn’t hear she would get up, in the middle of her breakfast and go over to that person and talk to them and make sure that she understood what the question was and then she would come back to her seat and ask if everyone had heard it and then she would repeat it and then she would answer it. And to my mind that is one of the most considerate things I’ve ever seen anybody do. She could have just said I can’t hear you, sorry, but she didn’t, she took the time out to talk to people and to make them feel included in the group.  So I’ve been going over and over this again, as I say, I’m a reflector and if I talked too much or hogged the conversation then I‘m truly sorry.  I hope I didn’t.  I don’t think I did but your perception, the perception of people around that table is important to me, so I want to put it out there. I want to put an apology out there.

 4.       Elise’s workshop was TOUGH but so rewarding. I have a big problem with self-esteem, and I have to say the first part of this workshop had me in tears. I hid it well so if you were there don’t feel bad that you didn’t see it. But asking to affirm yourself is something I find very, very difficult and she is a little shiny star and you want to please her.  She’s funny and she’s earnest and she’s just a lovely, genuine person. She was genuinely thrilled by what we created. She wrote us all cards.  These were hand written, hand produced cards that she made for every member of the workshop.  And when I read it, what she’d put inside it, I burst into tears. I’m not going to share what she wrote because that wouldn’t be fair, but it was exactly what I needed to hear at that time, when I felt so overwhelmed with everything after that day.

 5.       Another highlight was the Natasha workshop. I’ve done improv before but, you know, that opportunity to spend an hour with Natasha, being taught by her and just seeing how it differs from what I’ve experienced was amazing. And it was amazing. She was amazing.  She’s open and honest and she’s so involved.  She didn’t stand back, she got involved, she took part in the games, she made so much effort to make sure everyone felt included and able to participate and she was incredible…. but also, it was lovely to see 25 other people coming out of their shell and working with people and seeing them participate.  Some people had not done it before, ever and it was great to see people’s confidence increase and that was an amazing highlight for me.

 6.       Meeting Sarah, or RahRah.  She’s a Vancouverite and she’s an awesome individual and I’m genuinely, genuinely excited to see her again in September when I go to Vancouver. In essence, this highlight goes for anyone that I met, who’s names are too numerous to mention, who I may have interacted with online, and some I never had.  Everyone I met was genuinely warm, friendly and lovely.

 7.       Getting the opportunity to meet the rest of my group chat.  So, I’ve been in a group chat for about 9 months and it was a ClexaCon group chat and obviously we’ve become firm friends online but most of these people I’ve never met before. But when I did, my wife asked me, was it awkward and I’m like no, it wasn’t awkward at all.  It felt like I’d known these people for years. We hung out. We had dinner, we had laughs, we sat together in panels. It was awesome to see them.

 8.       The Clairevoyant panel. These two amazing women.  Annie Briggs and Natasha Negovanlis. Creators, writers, actors, honestly, in my book they can’t do a thing wrong.  I would gladly give my last penny to see a second season, all my money to help them to produce that. The highlight of that particular panel was me overcoming my horrendous fear of asking a question and going up to the mike and prompting a very funny conversation about diva cups.  I was shaking like a leaf both before and after but I’m glad I did it.

 9.       Another highlight was watching Natasha in the improv group.  I was always going to be up for the comedy show and actually bought tickets before I knew she would be performing. She didn’t hog the stage and I wouldn’t expect her to, but she was a glorious addition to that troupe. At one point the improv turned to all things vampire and she knows, she knows how to give her audience what they want because she lifted the rafters when she said she was a vampire and she said it in Carmilla’s voice, of course she did, because she knows that that’s what we want and she has a sense of fun and a sense of occasion and it was amazing to watch.

 10.   My final highlight has to be the Avalance Panel. Caity Lotz was the person that got me into the fandom in the first place with Sara Lance in Arrow.  It was seeing her and others at ClexaCon last year that made me want to go so desperately and, make no mistake, I am Hollstein Trash but the panel with her and Jes Macallan was awesome.  The addition of Katrina Law, temporarily was a sight to behold, if you haven’t seen it please go watch, and to see Jes become so emotional about something and then see the kindness that Caity displayed was so touching.

Other honourable mentions have to go to @comingoutpod and @styriatypical and there were so many other positives, too numerous to mention but significant all the same.

Writing this has been so hard because I had such a positive experience and I know that not everyone had that experience,  I know that I have no comparison that I can make and so I understand that it may not have been great for everyone but my hope is that at least the good outweighed the bad and that everyone had at least something unforgettably good to take away from Vegas.

Our community is fiercely important to me.  Inclusion is fiercely important to me. Anyone who would deliberately seek to exclude anyone, for any reason, has no place in my life. I have no time for those who would misgender, use transphobic/biphobic/panphobic language or in any way make another human being feel less than.

I didn’t meet anyone like that.  These memories will stay with me long after the jet lag is gone, and the rainbow hair grows out. Much love to you all.

[goldheartofsteel]

Wizard World Cleveland Highlights

I was far more comfortable than I thought I’d be especially since I was there on my own.

My first photo op was the Princess Bride Duo (Cary Elwes & Wallace Shawn)

Got a fist bump from both of them in greeting.

They’re both super nice

They both complimented me on my jacket

Chatted a bit with a very nice my hero academia cosplayer who was standing behind me.

My second photo op was with Tyler Hoechlin

Super delightful human bean that smells really good and easily calmed my anxiousness.

More relaxed though more rushed than my first photo op (didn’t mind though ‘cause I knew I’d be seeing him again later)

My favorite photo out of my two photo ops.

Tyler Time pt: 2 - Autograph round

I bought the combo (selfie & autograph)

Did I tell you Tyler is a super wonderful person? I can see what his charm is. Also, my future romantic partner(s) need to be around his height

11/10 would meet him again at another Con.

The Cosplays.....Wow!

So beautiful! Much talent!

I honestly want to go to another Con so I can try a simple cosplay myself.

Galaxy Amethyst is a precious and talented Cosplayer. I’m a fan now!

There was just so much creativity and diversity, I loved it so much!

Sorry the Atom, Black Canary but I’ve got a new favorite Comic Book Character

Tap Dancer Killer aka Nikki St. Clair

A WOC complex character that’s well-written (from what I’ve read so far), fierce and all around incredible.

I’m liking everything so far though I’m only 2 comics in (I have the first 5 comics in one book).

I’m really curious about the larger comic universe she originated in.

Bonus points for it being based in/inspired by Cleveland.

My new Fandom crew?

There’s a group mainly geared towards women who love fandom and they get together to do a variety of things.

Apparently a lot of them have social anxiety too, so that comforts me and makes me more willing to check them out.

Overall, though my original Con plans didn’t pan....I’ve still very glad that I went. Spent all 10 hours there.

I will say though, it was a lot more overwhelming than I thought it would though that might have been because I was alone and this was my first one.

*Photos to come later!*

[thegoldenlily3]

ONLY READ AFTER PART 1 and 2.

(Scroll down until you find part 1)

Trigger warning/ graphic photos

I don’t really know how to explain how I feel without my ileostomy bag. I hated it...but I loved it in a way too. I mean it saved my life. Some people have said they’d rather die than get an ostomy bag. I never thought about an ostomy bag beforehand and I certainly didn’t think that when the doctor told me what I was in for. I’d rather live and an ostomy bag was what I needed so I didn’t think twice. I know love may sound like a strong word but I didn’t love a lot about it lol. I loved not having to go to the bathroom so often. I loved not having to worry about gas and being loud in public bathrooms. The hate list is much longer though. I hated the skin issues. I hated having to change my wardrobe just to feel normal around other people. I hated the embarrassment of the smell in public bathrooms. I hated having to get up in the middle of the night to empty the bag. I hated not being comfortable enough to swim. I hated not being able to sleep on my belly. I hated that I dreaded taking a shower. I hated not getting bear hugs from my husband.

I haven’t been able to really enjoy being bag-less yet since I still have a wound that’s healing where my stoma was. It’s packed and covered along with my incision so it’s not really free feeling. I still reach for the bag even though it’s gone which is weird. It’s been a habit for over 2 and half years that I’m going to have to break. I love that I can go a size down in shirts. I’ve already bought a few new shirts that I’m excited to wear. I don’t have to worry about hiding the bag anymore because the outline was easily visible.

The first two weeks post op were really hard. I mean I did some research about this and Issaac read a lot about it too but I didn’t expect it to be like that. I basically had to relearn how to poop. I mean I’ve been pooping in a bag for over 2 years! ~ I only stayed in the hospital for three days. My support group was a lot of help when I asked what to bring with me. So if you plan to have an ostomy or a jpouch, look up some groups on Facebook. They’re full of awesome people. This is what I brought with me:

Calmoseptine cream (or any diaper rash ointment)

Water wipes (these are better to use rather than toilet paper because to put it frankly, your butt will be raw! TP will make that worse.)

Travel bidet

iPad (gotta keep up with the voice 😉)

I also had a shower chair for at home. This helped a lot.

I didn’t have any issues having a bowel movement so I was glad to be released quickly. Trying to get comfortable in that hospital bed was hard. I was getting fluids and had to take them with me every time I went to the bathroom. Pro tip: learn how to silence the alarm of the IV machine so you don’t have to call in the nurse every time it beeps. I learned that many hospitals trips ago.

So I remember these two weeks being hard but I’m finding it difficult to recall a lot since I was on pain meds. I know I cried a lot, multiple times a day to be honest. I had so many different feelings every day. I think I didn’t really come to terms with my bag being gone until days after surgery. I had been using the restroom so much and I was using a ton of cream and wipes and toilet paper. It was burning and hurting and I could feel when my waste was going into the pouch which was a weird and painful sensation. I really didn’t expect it to be so hard and I kind of freaked out, hence all of the crying. I even had a panic attack on the toilet where Issaac had to calm me down. My head was shaking and I kept repeating “I’m freaking out”. I don’t know what prompted the attack but I think it was a mixture of coming to terms with this being my new life and not having a bag anymore. I was probably using the restroom around 20-30 times which also made it hard to get any sleep. I would and still do sometimes put an ice pack under my bottom just to fall asleep. I usually had to do that if I’ve had a rough go in the restroom and I’m sore. I wore adult diapers for an entire week and I had 2 accidents where I couldn’t make it to the restroom in time and I couldn’t control it. I didn’t go anywhere for two weeks which has sucked because it’s October and my favorite time of the year. But I did take short walks down the sidewalks in front of my house to try to gain some strength back. I didn’t dare go far yet though. I was regretting the surgery and hating life and wanted to give up but Issaac was there every day to remind me that it wasn’t always going to be this way. My support group reminded too. They reassured me that it would get better and that everything I was going through was normal. I found it really hard to believe but what could I do but keep pushing forward. I just had to keep reminding myself that this was all normal and all part of the plan for bigger and better things.

My suture was starting to be very visible so I went in to see a nurse. She said it needed to be removed and I freaked out. I really hate being in pain! Although it shouldn’t have hurt, her first tug on it hurt really badly. I started crying and pushed her hand away out of reflex. It took a minute for me to calm down and I really didn’t know how I was going to get through the rest because I didn’t think I could control my reflexes. We finally decided that I would try to remove the suture myself. The part that she tugged out was the knot and she thinks it hurt because it was maybe on a nerve so that was the worst of it. I was able to remove the rest without any pain. Thank God. That was so stressful and I didn’t expect it to happen. My first stoma wound had the white dissolvable sutures. This suture was black and required removal. I didn’t know that I would need that removed. After it was removed though, I started healing more quickly and my pain went away. I was only having a little bit of pain when I turned in bed.

It’s now been almost a month since surgery and I don’t regret it anymore. I don’t hate life. In fact, I’m looking forward to the future. I’ve gone to the zoo and a football game and I’ve taken my niece to an event held outside. I’ve gone out to eat a few times and I’m looking forward to doing more Fall events. I’m looking forward to adding more foods in everyday and I’m hoping pizza doesn’t bother me too bad. 😉 I’ve been taking Imodium and it helps tremendously. I still use the restroom quite a bit but not nearly as much as the beginning. I’m only a month out though. My surgeon reassured me that my bowels are still going to change and hopefully get better. It’ll take a lot of time but I’m finally to a point where I’m okay with that.

I feel like as soon as this wound heals, it’s going to be the first day of my new life. I can make plans and travel and start a family. I can finally stop feeling like I’m in limbo and stuck in a circle with a dark cloud following me everywhere. I’m looking forward to just living and feeling free.

I cannot say enough how incredibly thankful I am to have my husband throughout all of this. A support system is extremely important for situations like this. If Issaac hadn’t been here with me cheering me on and helping me heal, I really don’t know where I’d be.

Thanks for reading and share away if you feel my story could help someone.

This song called Hurts 2B Human is dedicated to my husband.

[dazaosamu]

How obnoxious was Enzo?

He was actually very sweet, my friend and I bought just a photo op so it was very quick. Enzo asked very excitedly how we were doing and then we took the picture. After that he pulled us in for a very nice group hug (god I hugged him SO hard) and he told us to enjoy the show and that was pretty much it!

I’m not the biggest fan of Enzo because he’s... you know, Enzo, but we had the money and two hours until the show started so we went with it! I’m glad we met him though because him and Cass were both very nice and our picture turned out cute so

[sierrabinondo]

woodland creatures - day 4 (orlando pt. 2)

was i excited to be on tour? yes. was i also super nervous about going on tour before leaving? also yes.

was i excited to go to disney springs? Y E S. was it the one thing i knew i could look forward to even if i sucked at every fucking show??? 

B I G  Y E S. 

my poor bandmates. i said the night before, “hey, i just realized, we never actually really discussed going to disney springs.” and they were like, “yeah.”

but! we went anyway!!! bless their hearts!!!

the morning after staying up and partying was rough. i had the NASTIEST hangover. my headache was so severe that i couldn’t even fall back asleep following 5 hours of rest. i popped some advil and tried to get a couple more hours in but it was impossible, so i just got up and showered. the guys brought back panera for lunch, and then once everyone was ready we were off to disney springs. i could tell everyone was worried it was gonna be lame, i felt it in the air lmao. i was also worried i was leading them to a miserable afternoon in the hot florida weather. but i figured if they hated it we could always leave.

we pull up to disney springs and there is some semblance of what i remembered from the last time i was there but also a lot that i DID NOT recognize. the parking garages were definitely new. they had sensors over each parking spot that could indicate whether or not a car was in the spot, and it would update an LED screen outside the entrance with how many spots were available on each floor. i thought that was really cool. there were gardens on the sides of the garages too. we then go up some stairs and down an escalator to get in, and hooooly shit i was blown away. there was a brand new area that had a fountain and all of the shops looked reminiscent of spanish architecture. it was so beautiful. 

we got group pictures in front of the fountain, and then i decided to get a happy birthday pin from guest relations lmfao. i wanted to see if i could get any free shit by just waltzing around with a birthday pin on. i was unsuccessful but i had never been in or near disney on my birthday anyways so i just rolled with it. we started to the right and went to world of disney, marketplace co-op, the lego store and the pin trading shop. 

i was completely overwhelmed by how big all of the stores were. there was so much cool shit. i really thought i would have an easy time abstaining from spending money, since my sister was literally just there and got me the one thing i wanted, but i did NOT. at world of disney i bought ANOTHER pair of minnie ears, the rose gold sparkly ones lmfao. not usually my style, but there weren’t any others i was crazy about. joe got a shirt and ryan bought some stuff for his girlfriend christina. i wanted clothes but i decided to wait to see if there might be better merchandise elsewhere.

we moved on to marketplace co-op and i immediately found a disney world long sleeve shirt i loved so i grabbed that. i alsoooo balled out and got a print of the most beautiful mulan painting i have ever seen. it was a depiction of one of my favorite parts in the movie, when she is singing reflection and chops off her fuckin hair, but in the garden instead of the shrine. that movie means very very much to me as an asian american!!! besides that i got emperor’s new groove patches later on in the afternoon and that was all i spent my money on. $138 later. yeesh.

my friends eton and jeri who came to the show the night before wanted to meet up for food and drinks, so i walked over to frontera cucina. i thought maybe my bandmates might join us but they weren’t hungry and it was more of a sit down place, so we parted ways for an hour. i hadn’t seen eton and jeri since they moved down to orlando in january, holy shit. it was so good to hang out with them. we caught up and enjoyed some really good lunch. i ordered a gin and tonic that had a whole ass cucumber peel wrapped around the glass and pork belly tacos. i bugged out bad because eton wouldn’t let me pay nor could i get his venmo from jeremiah to cover my portion. it was so sweet of them to treat me. i met them through jeremiah, i always tell him how much i love his friends and how they’ve become my friends the more we all hang out together. it sucks our time was so damn brief but i’m just glad i got to see them.

after late lunch i met back up with everyone and we walked around a little longer, but i mistakenly let us stay a little later and lost track of time. it was just about time to start heading over to hail the sun. i felt really bad because people mentioned wanting to go swimming or take a nap and i effectively robbed everyone of any allotted leisure activity time by wanting to gallavant around more. i was definitely just as wiped as everyone, but i hadn’t been back to disney in forever. we hurried back to the van and drove back to kissimmee. 

pulses. had been grilling and chillin at the airbnb all day, so they were ready for the gig when we got back. we got back just in time to leave when they did, like 15 minutes before. we both hopped in our respective vehicles and we were off. they always dropped snails in the tour chat and called us with snails ahead because we were slow with the van lmfao but it’s not MY FAULT the shit is SO HUGE damnit. i drove the van to the gig with josef, jaime and kris while ryan and santino stayed home. 

it’s interesting to go to a show in another state, it does feel pretty weird to go somewhere unfamiliar, but it really does feel the same as attending a show at home. people really are pretty much the same everywhere else, just different geographical locations and climates. the gig was really good but the venue was SO SMALL. too small. i like the soundbar but i might like it better if you didn’t have to wade your way through a crowd of swamp ass to get to the bathrooms alllll the way on the other side of the venue opposite of the entrance. plus, it got so packed that it was really difficult to be near the stage, let alone inside the building. for most of the show the 10 of us camped out in a really great spot near the bathrooms that wasn’t getting too much traffic and had its own bar so we stayed there.

we were at the show where sergio broke his headstock. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a show where sergio stands still the entire time, in the dozens of times i’ve seen him play. he was so close to that monitor/the ceiling but i didn’t suspect his guitar was going to break. i completely missed it because i was looking down at my phone (womp) but i heard everyone audibly gasp. that sucks dude. i think that was the only bummer the whole show though besides the heat and some sloppy drunks. pulses. are friends with zach garren so he was hanging out near us here and there throughout the night. daisy came to the gig so she came and found us, we hung out for a good portion of the show, too! it was a really good chance to talk more too after the gig the night before. she told us a lot about what the florida scene is like. we told her it’s infinitely better than the tri-state area LMAO. at least like, people show up to shows and STAY on a monday night which is insane. and then joseph arrington is a friend of ours so he said hi a couple times during the gig, afterwards him and i talked more when it was quieter. 

it is one of the greatest honors in my entire life that joseph arrington sees me as a homie. writing this under the presumption he’s never gonna see this lmao, but i have to pinch myself sometimes. we’ve been friends since we played the last ALLB tour september 2017. i introduced myself and mentioned that we had opened for sianvar’s 2016 tour at webster hall and he actually remembered us. ryan also introduced himself as one of his patreon donors and they talked for like 45 minutes. that show he asked for a CD (and it was years in waiting our older album too yikes lol there’s bangers on there but it doesn’t sound like us anymore) and he messaged me later that night like, “we’re listening in the van right now, you’re a great singer”. we’ve hung out at gigs a couple more times, whether we played together or either ryan or i went to go see him play. the fact he considers us peers is one of the most validating things i have. i’ve learned a lot of helpful insight from him. i have tremendous respect for him and couldn’t be more grateful that he actually likes us as musicians and as people. 

all of the bands of course were awesome, i couldn’t stand the heat enough to be inside for every single hail the sun song but i caught most of their set. it’s pretty insane to see them blow up like they have. they deserve it. and i think donovan is one of the best vocalists i’ve ever heard. that whole camp of blue swan musicians are just so talented. 

josef, jaime and kris graciously waited outside for me to finish talking to joe arrington, and during that time josef actually caught will swan outside. he said he had the chance to tell will swan deathstar is the reason he plays music and it made him very happy to do so. it had happened like a little bit before i came back outside. we then got lost trying to find the van and hilariously passed the actual entrance to the parking garage like 3 times. it was literally across the street and i led them around the block twice. 

we went back to the airbnb for one more swim and we almost had another super late night legit just talking to pulses. kris sat outside editing photos while some of the guys swam, some of us just sat with our feet in the pool. when we got back ryan and santino had been sleeping and i think i maybe saw santino get up once to go to the bathroom. i did really want to go to sleep but ughhhhh i also thought to myself, i can sleep when i get home from tour. i get really bad FOMO every day of my life. so we stayed up and we talked about all things dance gavin dance, blue swan, our local scene, and bein in a band. it’s insane how alike we all are in our way of thinking. i also find it hard to open up to other bands though because it seems like no one else sees playing music and trying to grow a band the way we do. i just wanted to eat up any time i could bonding with pulses., taylor and tyler. thankfully we weren’t up until 4 am again but legit any time up spending time with all of my friends was worth it.

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Just a lot of personal rambling behind the cut on how I feel about the way “going out alone” seems to be portrayed in media these days.

So, this came across my Twitter timeline and I took a look because I often have to go to concerts, drag shows or wrestling shows alone. My bestest friends don't live close by, my sister and I don't share the same taste in almost anything and my brother tends to be a homebody unless it is something he is super passionate about. I have a local friend that is nice enough to let me tag along with her or will come with me to stuff she isn't even that big of a fan of, but I don't want to bother her constantly and she is often busy with her own interests. Therefore, if I wanna do and see things that mean a lot to me, I gotta suck it up and go alone. 

And funnily enough, it isn't something that ever crossed my mind to be bothered about, which is weird since I am overly affected by others' opinions of me. And I'm forever being told by people online I'm too old to like wrestling, drag and my favorite bands. So the fact that I've gone to so much stuff by myself is a hilarious contradiction to who I usually am, but I'm glad about that, for once.

2 years ago, I think, I decided to be impulsive and get myself a VIP package to a Simple Plan concert. I haven't followed their music for YEARS because I didn't connect with their self titled album all that much so they fell off my radar. However, I always check in on them from time to time and I saw that they were going on an anniversary tour to celebrate an album that meant a lot to me, I listened to on repeat and was just a big influence on my life. So, if they were gonna play that album, I wanted to go and if I wanted to go, I had to go by myself. I was able to afford a VIP package so why not treat myself while I'm at it?

I got in early and since I did not want any merch, I somehow grabbed a spot on the barricade all the way in front of the left hand side of the stage. And I had an absolute blast. The openers were good, Simple Plan was just as energetic, silly and great on stage as I remembered. And then afterwards, I got to go to the Pizza Party that came along with my VIP package.

I felt awkward collecting my slice and can of pop because THEN I realized, not only was I oldest than everyone there (which was ALWAYS the case when I went to SP shows, except for any guardians at the shows), I also seemed to be the ONLY one there all by myself. BUT, I had my phone and my NorCal bestie is on Cali time so I had someone to talk to and I ate my pizza and drank my pop on the floor and was fine. 

When 4 of 5 members of the band showed up (David D didn't attend), they spread out on the floor. And like a drag show I attended at the House of Blues once, there were separate lines to meet n greet the guys. It was super chill.

I didn't need to worry about the drummer, cuz no, haha. I will not get into my history with him. But for Jeff, Seb and Pierre, I got in line. Even though I had my phone, I also had my awesome camera that my brother got me years ago that takes fantastic concert photos and videos. But if I wanted a photo on there, I had to ask for help, so I did. I turned around and asked the group behind me if someone would please take the photo for me. 

Someone agreed and asked me if I was alone, and when I confirmed that I was, she said to me, "Wow, you're so brave." That comment has STUCK IN MY CRAW ever since.

Make no mistake, LIVING YOUR LIFE is definitely an act of bravery for millions of people who are not me. So I was, and still am, baffled as to why attending a concert alone would be considered an act of bravery by anyone. What is going on in the younger generation that they see being alone as brave? That is HELLA worrisome because to me, that translates into people surrounding themselves with WRONG crowds and/or staying in bad situations JUST so they won't be alone. And that is frightening to me.

I know I am not a great person, but I know I'm not a horrible person. I have problems and issues, but I'm surprisingly comfortable being with myself and only myself for the sake of going out and being able to enjoy shows and acts and concerts that bring me joy. Happiness is so fleeting as it is, so if I can go out and capture it for a few hours and the only caveat is that I must do so alone, I'm gonna do it! 

But then stuff like this article pops up on me and shows me that the culture as a whole seems to view being alone or doing things alone as negative. At least negatively enough that people wanna tell you why it is NOT bad, or give you tips on how to cover up the fact you're alone ... and it's like, I'm nobody but as someone who has done a lot alone, how can I help someone else see that it is not the end of the world? I've had some of the best times of my life when I was by myself. 

So at the end of all this pointless and nonsensical rambling, if someone made it, I just want you to know this:

Going out alone to enjoy the things you love is not a big deal and not anything you should feel bad about

If it makes you nervous or anxious? 100% get it and sympathize. That’s a different battle to be fought and I’ve had to fight that one as well. 

But in terms of just LIVING YOUR LIFE? Don’t let the prospect of fun pass you by just because you’ll have to go alone. I did that for a long time, regretting it pretty much EVERY time. But the times I’ve said EFF IT and just done it? I’ve had so much fun and nothing but good memories to keep in my heart. 

My next single outing will most likely be C2E2 in March in Chicago. I bought myself a weekend pass and a Doctors Photo Op with David Tennant and Matt Smith. I’m TRYING to convince my brother to go since he’s the one who got me INTO Doctor Who but he really doesn’t wanna go. So? Gotta suck it up and do it myself! I hate con crowds, but there’s SO MUCH to see and do at a con (went to C2E2 my first time all alone to meet my favorite author, Sherrilyn Kenyon) that the hours fly (if I’m not waiting on a photo op or autograph lol) and before I know it, it’s over. But I had fun seeing a lot of neat cosplay and cool merch and hopefully having a cool handshake with people I admire! 

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 13) - Dinner and a Movie

Summary: With the convention finally wrapped up, Jensen and the reader decide to have a little movie night.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader, mentions of others

Word Count: 2131 (I should just stop apologizing now...I can’t help it.)

Warnings: End of con antics, fluff, and some more fluff

A/N: Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with the cast doing their photo ops and autographs. You told Jensen that you’d be back down later, that you were going to go for a walk and pack up your things.

Heading back up to the room, you tidied up, made sure you had everything ready for checking out later and grabbed a coat. You didn’t walk far, just to the park that the two of you had gone to after lunch yesterday. There was a bench near the park’s center, an open plaza area, with kids playing and people strolling through enjoying their Sunday afternoon. Sitting, you took a deep breath of the fresh air, felt the warm but slightly chilled air against your cheek, closed your eyes and relished in the moment.

Not sure what triggered it, you were suddenly back in the Parque in Cuenca, sitting on a bench looking at a similar scene. You were looking around, not really looking for anyone in particular, but not fully settled about the idea of being there. I know I shouldn’t be here, just out in the open like this. I just couldn’t handle the hotel room anymore. Not with…You didn’t know why, but your fight or flight senses were starting to become overwhelmed when you heard the honking of a car, sounding like it was going to run into in the middle of the parque. Startling you, you opened your eyes with a gasp, realizing that it was just a child on a bike honking the horn. These are never going to stop are they?

Feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket, you pulled it out to see a text from Jensen.

Meet me at the photo ops booth?

Be right there, 10 min?

:)

The convention now officially over, you didn’t have to go through as many people as there were earlier in the day, most of them in their rooms packing or already gone. When you met Jensen, you were also met by the rest of the cast in attendance. “Hey, so we can usually sneak in a few cast ops at the end, if Chris is feeling up to it,” Jensen said, arm automatically going around your waist. “Oh, ok, well I don’t mind waiting for you,” pointing towards the corner out of the way. “No, I want you in some of these, our first convention needs to be documented.” Ugh, that smile, that is going to be the death of me.

You took a few with Kim, Briana, Ruth and Rachel while the guys got there’s. Chris called everyone in for a couple quick shots of the group, somehow you and Jensen had ended up in the middle; your arm around his waist and his arm around your shoulder. Chris took a couple pictures, at which point you and Jensen looked at each other. It was the Sparks moment all over again; everything around you seemed to fade away. He leaned down to steal a quick kiss from you; despite the quick and simple nature of the kiss, you still melted from it.

It wasn’t until there was a collective ‘Aww!’ from everyone, and a “Guys! We’ve been over this already – room!” from Jared, that the two of you broke apart and realized that every single one of them had left the frame, leaving you and Jensen standing there. “How did they manage that?” You looked around, confused, then back to Jensen, who just let out a hearty laugh. “Your guess is as good as mine, especially since Chris and Briana are both here.”

“Ok! I think I got a few good ones!” Chris said to everyone, giving you and Jensen an obvious wink. “I’ll get these all out to you soon! See you guys at the next convention!” Everyone clapped and hugged, said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. The cast was granted a few extra days from filming, so Jared decided to fly down to Texas for the remainder of his weekend to be with Gen and the kids. “Hey, next time I’ll bring them up here so you can meet them, they’d all love you!” he told you before leaving, telling everyone goodbye. The four of you walked back up to your rooms to grab your things, you being thankful that you were already packed.

“Give me 30 minutes I’ll be packed and we can head out,” Briana told you. You tried to keep it from being obvious that you were already sad having to leave Jensen, but of course they all noticed. “You know what? My bag is already packed, I can take her home,” Jensen offered. Bri and Kim gave their classic smiles, you hugged them both, promised to text in the next few days and told them to come by the café for some pastries. With that, you were Jensen’s car on the way to your apartment.

It wasn’t a far drive at peak travel time, so getting home on a Sunday evening was a breeze. There wasn’t much time for a decent conversation, between the short travel time and you giving Jensen directions. You did ask him what he had planned for the weekend, with his extra days off, replying that he didn’t really have anything going on. Nothing but the usual chores around the house, maybe grab a coffee at some point over the time off; giving you a sideways glance and a smile at the statement.

“Would you want to come up and have some dinner? I was just going to make some spaghetti, nothing fancy, maybe watch a movie,” you asked. “Sure, I’d love to,” he replied as the two of you got out of the car with him grabbing your bag and you leading the way up the stairs. So glad I tidied up the apartment and bought a few groceries before I left this weekend.

You walked in first, turning on lights as you went, “Make yourself at home. Kitchen, bathroom, living room…” you pointed as you went. You shrugged out of your coat and hung it up, while also taking Jensen’s and putting them in the coat closet. “Would you like anything to drink? Water, beer, whiskey, coke…” you started listing off beverages. “Hm. Whiskey, neat?” You smiled sweetly and went to the kitchen to pour your drinks.

Handing him one you pointed to the living room. “Feel free to relax, you can search through Netflix and find a movie while I start dinner.” “Any requests? ‘It’? ‘Silence of the Lambs’? ‘My Bloody Valentine’?” He said the last one with a chuckle. “How about nothing that will add to the already frequent nightmares?” You said, rolling your eyes at his suggestion to the movie he was in, only to realize what actually came out of your mouth. Damn it.

Seeing he was already trying to form a question in response to what you just said, you cut him off. “How about something along the lines of ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’, ‘The Breakfast Club’…I don’t know, some cult classic…that’s not horror. And no clowns!” You added at the end. “Ok, Sam.” Jensen said laughing; turning to the living room while you got dinner ready. You made quick work of getting the sauce started, thanking your few years in restaurants and banquets before the café for being able to cook up a quick meal if you needed to.

As you were slicing up some of the vegetables for the sauce, you saw Jensen look over the back of the couch when he opened the Netflix app on the TV, the cursor of course highlighting the last show you watched. “So…Sam or Dean?” Looking up at him while trying to figure out why he’d be talking about their characters, you realized the show in question. “Do you really want to watch your own show Jen? Do you even do that?” You asked, steering the conversation away from the first question, and willing the flush in your face to go away.

“Eh, I watch occasionally, but I can pick something else,” and with that he was scrolling through some of the classics. Giving the sauce time to simmer and the pasta to cook, you went to the living room, Jensen seeming to have settled on a movie, but not starting it yet. “Do you mind if I go change? I’m kind of over wearing jeans,” you asked, leaning against the couch. “Not at all, it is your apartment after all.” You came back in leggings, a tank and another of the lightweight hoodies that you had worn at the gym that morning.

“Dinner is ready, do you want another drink?” You asked him. “Sure, it smells amazing in here! You made this from scratch? Just now?” Jensen asked, inhaling deeply at the smell of the sauce as he walked in the kitchen. You chuckled, “Yep. It helps that it’s one of my favorite things to make, as well has having some professional kitchen experience, the prep goes quickly.” You got out your favorite set of pasta bowls and dished each of you a serving, refilled your drinks and got silverware.

“I’m usually all for eating on the couch while watching TV, but can we sit at the table, then move when we’re done? Spaghetti isn’t the most graceful thing to eat on the couch.” You asked him, feeling weird for asking that and trying to hide it with a laugh, even though you knew you didn’t have to feel that way with him anymore. He laughed, happily obliging.

Jensen took his first few bites and let out a groan, “Oh my god, Y/N, this is amazing! It’s so simple, but so amazing.” All you could do was sit there and give a small laugh. “Thank you, you should see what I can cook when I actually put effort and a little planning into it.” Finishing another bite, Jensen said, “Well, how about dinner at my place next time?” Twirling your next bite around your fork as if you had to give any thought to the invitation, “Sounds great.”

You had started the movie before eating, talking occasionally. When you finished, you gathered up the plates, and stuck the leftovers in the fridge, making sure the kitchen was at least halfway cleaned up so you wouldn’t have to deal with it in the morning.

“So Y/N, do you have to work tomorrow?” Jensen asked, leaning against the counter while you finished up, not letting him help you. “I don’t, I decided to take tomorrow off, my assistant can handle everything. Honestly, I think I need a day to just chill and recover from this weekend. It was a fantastic weekend; don’t get me wrong, but somewhat exhausting. How do you do this so often?” He smiled, looking down for a moment. “Eh, you get used to it eventually. It helps when it’s fun.”

You debated for a moment as to if you wanted another drink. It’s not like anything will happen. It’s just dinner and a movie and a few drinks. We’re both adults. Seriously Y/N, relax. “Refill?” You asked, reaching for the bottle. “Sure.” You paused for the quickest of moments when you looked in his eyes, not sure what you were seeing, the only word coming to mind; promise.

The two of you settled on the couch, the movie still playing in the background. Jensen’s arm was around you as you laid into his side, thoroughly enjoying the warmth coming from him as well as his hand rubbing your arm and shoulder. Your glasses had long since been set on the coffee table in front of the couch and through the course of the movie, you had shifted down so that your head was in his lap and his arm on your side tangled with yours. The weight of his arm on you and his warmth, mixed with the whiskey, you were lulled into sleep.

The end credits started and Jensen noticed that you were sleeping, trying to nudge you awake enough to get you to bed. “Y/N…sweetheart,” he coaxed, brushing his hand along your head, but you weren’t waking up enough to walk on your own. “Ok, let’s get you in bed,” he whispered close to you, scooping you up off the couch. You could hear him, but you just couldn’t wake up, nuzzling into him as he carried you to your bedroom.

He laid you down gently, pulling the covers up over you and kissing your head. “G’night Y/N. I’ll let myself out,” he whispered, rubbing his hand over your head where his lips just were. Jensen started to turn to go when you stirred, “Jen?” He turned back around, not really sure how awake you were, “Yeah sweetheart?” walking back into the room. 

“Stay.”

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @steffiemeheus @lizwinchester16 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @cats-are-untrustworthy @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @1233088 @fandomloveyeah

[beyondlimitsonfoot]

**Originally hiked: October 18, 2018**

Trail Data

Mileage: 9.9 miles Elevation Gain: 2,100 feet Location: Angeles National Forest Type: Out-and-back Difficulty: Moderate

What to Expect in this Guide

Aside from the road being closed to the trailhead we planned on doing, we ended up doing a tougher hike and a little bit longer.

As those of you know who usually read my posts, I have areas to which you can get a lot of more information about the hike we did.  All in all, I put this area on here so that you can forward over to whichever area you would like to know more about.

 Background – If you’re interested a little more about the area and some facts about the hike.

 Map & Directions – See our hike on the map and directions on how to get to the trailhead below.

 Weather – Definitely something you need to check before you go out on the trail.

 Adventure Pass – Just a quick rundown of what pass you will need before you head out on the trail. *Pass is required to hike in this area.

Trail Camp & Water – The area has a trail camp with a water source nearby.

 Maps, Books and Gear Recommendations – A great source for what maps or books to have before going out.

 Hike Stats – I like to know points of interest on the trail, here are some for you to follow along when you go for the hike.

 My Ramblings – This is my favorite part mostly because the pictures.  Check this section out of my recollection of the hike and some photos.

Background

Mt. Hawkins sits in the Angeles National Forest (covering around 700,000 acres just outside of Los Angeles).  Much of the trail from Islip Saddle up to Mt. Hawkins (8,850 ft.) is via the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail).  Islip Saddle has a parking lot across the street from the trailhead.

Some nearby notable peaks that can be done in conjunction are Mount Islip, South Mount Hawkins, Middle Hawkins and Throop Peak.  Have any of you done this hike with multiple peaks in the area?  Let me know how in the comments below.

Map & Directions

To get to the trailhead:

Trailhead is at Islip Saddle, mile marker 64.1 on the Angeles Crest Highway.  The drive is about an hour/an hour and a half away from the Los Angeles area.  From downtown LA, take 110 North and merge onto I-5 North.  About 7 miles later, take CA-2 N (Angeles Crest Highway) toward Glendale.  Merge onto CA-2 E/I-210 E.  In .4 miles take CA-2 toward La Canada Flintridge.  Turn left onto Angeles Crest Hwy and drive 39.6 miles until you see a parking lot on the left at Islip Saddle.  The trailhead is directly across the street.

Weather

Mt. Hawkins ~8,041 ft –> Weather.gov

Throop Peak ~ 9,138 ft –> mountain-forecast.com

Adventure Pass

There are no permits required to hike this trail.

To park your vehicle in this area, you will however need an Adventure Pass.  To obtain an Adventure pass find the closest Forest Service location or go to any major sporting goods store.  The fees are $5 per day or $30 annual.  If you’d like to know more about the pass, read on the Forest Service Recreation Passes & Permits Website.

The Shell Station right off I-210 and CA-2 exit sells the Adventure Pass.

Trail Camp & Water

Little Jimmy Trail Camp/Little Jimmy Springs

Along this trail the only established trail camp is Little Jimmy Trail Camp.  If you feel like an extra night in the area, Little Jimmy sits just 2 miles off Angeles Crest Highway.  There are 16 established first-come, first-serve sites with fire rings.  The campground includes vault toilets, backcountry ovens and bear boxes.  The place is very popular with Boy Scout and Girl Scout troops, the two times I hiked in this area in the fall we passed by a few groups of scouts.

Angeles National Forest: Little Jimmy Trail Camp Information

Little Jimmy Springs is about a .2 miles walk away from the campground.  The water usually runs year round and is super cold.  This is a great spot to take a break quickly and fill up with water if you are running low on a longer hike.  Always make sure you take enough water either way.  We took about 3 liters of water each for 9 mile hike.

Maps, Books and Gear Recommendations

Topographic Map of Area: Trail Map Angeles High Country Map Book of Hikes in the Area: Trails of the Angeles: 100 Hikes in the San Gabriels

Gear Recommendations:

Obviously this isn’t everything I take on our hikes, check out What’s in My Backpack? for a compilation of some of the gear I have now.  Some of the items I would recommend for this hike, especially colder weather:

Hiking Poles: BLACK DIAMOND Alpine Carbon Cork Trekking Poles

Headband: Adidas Woman’s Tech Headband

Fleece Gloves: Columbia Sportswear Women’s Thermarator Glove

Down Jacket: Patagonia Down Sweater

Wind Breaker: REI Co-op Rainier Rain Jacket

Some food we took on the hike:

Protein: Starkist Salmon Creations Lemon & Dill and Tuna Creations Thai Chili Style

Mayonnaise for our tuna and salmon packets: Hellmann’s Food Real-Vraie Mayonnaise – We bought a pack of 75 so that every time we go we can just pick a couple out from our hiking food bin

Soup: Lipton Soup Secrets – Chicken Noodle Soup Mix with Diced White Chicken Meat

Bars: CLIF Bar Chocolate Chip and Crunchy Peanut Butter

Bananas mmmmm

*FYI the salmon and tuna packets, Lipton soup, CLIF bars are all available at local supermarkets.  I usually just buy on amazon in bulk since we go a lot and have hiking food bin.  What do you keep in your hiking food bin?

Interested in gear and food ideas?  See posts below for more.

[ihewc_oxi id=”20″]

Hike Stats

Trailhead 0 miles 6,800 feet Little Jimmy Trail Camp 2.1 miles 7,450 feet Little Jimmy Springs 2.3 miles 7,500 feet Windy Gap 2.4 miles 7,588 feet Mt. South Hawkins Turnoff 4.0 miles 8,390 feet Mt. Hawkins Turnoff 4.6 miles 8,730 feet Mt. Hawkins Summit 4.8 miles 8,850 feet

My Ramblings

I used to just write this portion of the blog, but decided since I do so much research why not create some guides of the information that I gather before I go out for these hikes.  Should I put my ramblings and photos first or should I keep them here at the end?  You guys let me know.

Alright, let’s move on and talk about this hike.  My sister and I haven’t been on a hike alone in a while; we’ve been with groups, but alone I think our last hike together was Peanut Lake, back in 2016.  Is that right?  I think so.  Either way I was blessed to have a hike together with my sister alone in our backyard mountains up in the San Gabriel’s.

We awoke early and left the house by 6:00am.  We were not much more than 10 minutes into the drive when I had to turn around to pick up the water bladder (Osprey Hydraulics Reservoir – 3 L).  If we were already to far into the drive we would have just picked up 3 L of water at the store nearby.  This wasn’t the only thing we forgot on the hike, just wait for it.

Arriving to the Trailhead

After exiting I-210 road to Angeles Crest highway, I remember I left my annual Adventure Pass in my car back at home.  So another thing I forgot, we stopped at the Shell station to pick a day pass up ($5.00).  As we were driving to go do Mt. Baden-Powell from Dawson Saddle, we arrived at a Road that was closed at Islip Saddle.  Not sure how we could have avoided not knowing, but they do post road closures on the county or forest websites.  Plan B, open my Angeles High Country Trail Map and find a new hike.

There are a few options at Islip Saddle, so we geared up and decided to go hike Mt. Hawkins.  I remember doing it a long time ago by myself, but thought it would be nice to check out the trail again with my sister and it was a little harder hike than we had planned, huge plus there we wanted a good workout.  We started up the trail around 9:00am which would give us ample time to take our time up the mountain and hang out at the top.

The first mile or two was more vertical than the rest of the trail.  We passed a lot of Boys & Girls Scout groups on our way up, probably stayed at Little Jimmy Trail Camp as it’s popular for the Scout groups to camp there on weekends.  Little Jimmy Camp is only about 2 miles up the trail and the trail flattens out on this portion of the hike.  We continued up towards Windy Gap making good time; Windy Gap sits at about 7,588 feet and offers 360 degree views of the surround mountains and valleys.  Here there are a few options, you could turn back, head up to Mt. Islip, head towards Crystal Lake Campground or head on the Mt. Hawkins Ridge Trail to summit Mt. Hawkins or even further to Throop, Burnham and Baden-Powell.

Summiting Mt. Hawkins

Our choice was to hike up to Mt. Hawkins which would make for a 2,050 foot climb total; I liked the sound of that.  11:30am we reached the summit of Mt. Hawkins.  We almost missed the turnoff; stay alert there is no sign for the turnoff to Mt. Hawkins.  I’m glad I was taking note of the mileage on the Garmin.  Did you know Mt. Hawkins is in the 11th highest peak in the San Gabriel’s?  We didn’t make the top 10 list, but that’s ok it’s a peak above 8,000 feet very good training hike for the bigger mountains.  I believe I just made a challenge for myself to knock off the top 10 in the San Gabriel’s.  What those are I’ll probably post later as I already have the 10,000 Feet Peaks in Southern California Challenge ahead of me.

Had to put on some warmer clothes as we were going to hang out on Mt. Hawkins for a little.  We wanted to make some soup and when I opened my bag I realized that I did not pack a fuel canister into my jetboil.  I usually keep one in there but since our last trip to Havasupai Falls we flew, I took it out and never put a new one in when I got back home.  Are you surprised yet?  That’s 3 things and counting so far that were forgotten on this hike.  Instead of a warm Lipton Soup Secrets we ended up having a couple mozzarella sticks and the Starkist Creations Lemon Dill and Thai Chili Style.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

  Down we went around 12:30pm so that we could hit the Newcomb’s Ranch for a snack before heading back home.  We didn’t pass too many people on the way down except a couple who was doing one night up at Baden-Powell.  About 1 mile from the trailhead my knee began to hurt, thanks to my sister who brought a brace I made it down in one piece.  It looks like I forgot one other thing, that makes for 4 things we forgot on this hike.  I should be wearing a brace every time I hike anyway so that will be added to my hiking checklist as a permanent item.

Reaching the Cars

It was about 2:30pm when we reached the cars and we changed quickly and headed down the mountain to go grab a quick bite to eat.  Newcomb’s Ranch closes pretty early, so this is the first time I could actually sit inside and have a nice relaxing refreshing drink and a snack.  Usually we get here as they are closing or already closed.  My sister and I love these kinds of places; little gems hidden up in the mountains.  Lots of motorcyclists like to end up here on their rides on the Angeles Crest Highway; we even saw some bicyclists who were brave enough to do that long ride in.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the write-up.  What is the most common thing that you think most hikers (newbies or avid) forget on hikes?  Let me know in the comments below.  If you’ve done this hike before go ahead and comment below and let me know your experiences; I hope we can share more on here together.

Happy Adventures,

Annette – Beyond Limits on Foot

[related-posts-thumbnails]

[ap_instagram_slider]

Mt. Hawkins (8,850') in the Angeles National Forest. From Islip Saddle, 9.6 miles round trip, 2050' elevation gain. 11th highest peak in the San Gabriels. **Originally hiked: October 18, 2018** Trail Data

[thislovintime]

Peter Tork onstage with the Fairfax Street Choir, 1970s. Photo courtesy of the Monkees Live Almanac.

Q: "Did you retire as a wealthy young man from [The Monkees]?" Peter Tork: "No. No, I didn’t. I retired as a man with some indeterminate amount of money which somehow indeterminately ran out." Q: "So, when you left, did you want to be known as the former Monkee or did you want to erase that part of your past?" PT: "I tried to erase it." Q: "And start anew?" PT: "I tried to erase it completely." Q: "How do you do that?" PT: "Well, you just don’t do anything connected with it, just absolutely refuse to have anything to do with it, and... basically what I did was I retreated into — I wound up retreating into Marin County, California, which is just north of San Francisco. And there I worked, I belonged to a worker-owned restaurant, waited tables, and was part of the cooperative that owned and operated the restaurant. Nominally owned the restaurant; it was actually owned by this guy whose parents had left him some GM stock, and he bought this thing and the co-op was supposed to pay him to buy him out over the long haul. I think they have done finally, I think it’s now a real workers’ co-op. And I worked there, and I retreated, and nobody said anything to me about my Monkees past except one or two guys said, 'You know, I’m glad to see you just on the street schlepping around,' that kind of thing, which made me feel good. I belonged to a few groups; I belonged to a thing called the Fairfax Street Choir, which had 35 voices in the rock section and was very hard to stage. (laughs) Those little coffee house stages, 35 guys and women. And I also belonged to a kind of second on the bill act in San Francisco called Osceola for a year or so. And that kind of thing. And nobody said anything about The Monkees to me." - NPR, June 3, 1983

“What a group! 35 voices strong; some harmonies! It was something, very encouraging, very comforting.” - Peter Tork, Goldmine, May 1982

Read more about Peter's time with the Fairfax Street Choir in an older post.

[whoacanada]

NHL!Bitty, Part IX - ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships’

(Alright, you guys voted for #2, so enjoy!)

Eric gets hit on in a hotel bar during All-Star weekend. For the first time in a long time, it’s not because he’s a famous hockey player.

It would be very flattering, except the man trying to seduce him works for Jack’s PR firm, and bro is playing fast and loose with some seriously confidential information. 

NHL!Bitty Masterpost!

It’s been a long, exhausting day. Between the flight, check-in, the press junket, the photo ops, all Eric wants is to get a little bit drunk with the guys, grab some dinner, and fool around in Jack’s hotel room. Hopefully in that order, but he’s open to fooling around whenever.

He must have a dopey smile on his face thinking about the debauchery he’s been looking forward to all week when he realizes someone is watching him from across the bar. 

Tall, nice hair, professional, and he’s looking at Eric, no, at the empty chair next to him. And he’s walking over. 

“Is this seat taken?”

Eric doesn’t have time to say ‘yes’ before the man has settled himself into Jack’s chair and ordering a drink. Eric quickly hides his VIP badge in his pocket before Nice Hair gives him a once over.

“Whiskey on the rocks for me and . . . ?” He looks at Eric’s beer. “Another one of those when the time comes.”

Nice Hair holds out a hand. “Joel.”

Eric takes the proffered hand and plasters a smile on his face. “Eric. And I really don’t need another drink, thank you. Also, you should know that seat -- ”

“Nonsense. It’s already a shame you’re paying for that one.” Joel points at Eric’s bottle. 

‘I’m not, Benn bought it because he lost a bet,’ Eric doesn’t say.

The TV behind the bar is playing Jack’s interview from earlier; the one where he talks about the Zimmermann Foundation and is generally awkward with an ESPN reporter that kinda looks like Lardo. 

Joel sees him watching. “So, you like hockey or just handsome men?”

“Little bit of both,” Eric slides his cup ring off into the same pocket as his badge. 

Joel leans in, bemused. “Now, the ‘handsome men’ part I’m glad to hear, but hockey? That may take some convincing.”

Oh. This is going to be one of those conversations. 

“Well, what kind of guy do I seem like?”

“That depends, what do you do?”

He could tell the truth, say he’s playing in the All-Star game as the man clearly doesn’t recognize him, but Eric’s a little bored, a little drunk, and a little bit of a shitty human being. 

“I like to think I’m an entrepreneur,” Eric offers, playing with the label on his bottle. He immediately realizes just how bad that sounds.

“An entrepreneur that likes hockey and hangs out in hotel bars during All-Star weekend waiting for handsome men?” Joel gives him a blatant once-over.

“I’m not a prostitute,” Eric stammers, embarrassed, “I just --”

“No, no,” Joel comforts, holding up a hand, “I get it. You know there’s a term for that, right?”

It’s been nearly twenty minutes, Jack is still missing in action, so Eric downs the rest of his beer and gives his interloper a dirty look. “Don’t even think of calling me a puckbunny.”

Joel laughs like he wasn’t just implying Eric is a whore, like they’re friends and he’s not ignoring every obvious sign that Eric is not interested.

“You know, since Boston is hosting the All-Star game this weekend, this bar could be full of hockey players and you’d never even realize it.”

He’s done. This conversation is toeing into uncomfortable territory and Eric’s giving up on his boyfriend coming to his rescue. He’s a big boy, he can take care of things himself. 

“Oh?” Eric says, glancing around to catch PK’s eye across the room. “Do you recognize any players, Joel? Because I’m -- ”

“It’s just my day job,” Joel interrupts him, flashing a VIP Press badge with a cheeky grin: Joel Murrel, Langston Group, “but I like to consider myself an entrepreneur as well.” 

The company name stops Eric short. Langston. Why does that sound so familiar?

“I know it says press, but really I work in PR; and, not to brag, my firm represents a number of the athletes playing this weekend,” he says, leaning in to whisper, “including Zimmermann up there.” 

There it is. Langston Group. The Zimmermann’s PR team, not just Jack’s, but Bob and Alicia’s as well. That’s...confidential, right? Has to be, that’s literally what they’re paying for -- discretion. At least, it’s what Eric is paying his own people for.

“Really?” Eric questions, suddenly, terribly sober. “Don’t you have to sign NDAs when you work with celebrities? Can you really tell me stuff like that?”

“Of course, but he’s not my client personally, so anything I’ve heard is just a ‘rumor’, you know? But, man, I’ve heard some stories.”

‘Tread lightly, hot shot,’ Eric thinks to himself, pretending to tweet something while discreetly opening his mic app and pressing ‘record’, ‘that’s my man.’

“That’s surprising, he seems so friendly.”

Joel actually snorts so hard he loses a little bit of drink. “Friendly? Oh no,” he snatches a napkin from the bar and dabs at the spilled whiskey on his sleeve. “That man has all the personality of a wet blanket. He’s a nightmare client, super paranoid, his agent’s always calling, it feels like we cover up a new scandal every few weeks.”  

“But I can say this,” Joel rests a hand on Eric’s arm, thumb stroking over the material of his suit jacket, “I know for a fact he and I have the same type, handsome, blonde, and male.”

Eric doesn’t think he’s ever been this angry -- like he’s transcended into another plane of existence where serene rage is a real thing. Then something snaps and he’s all too human again, on his feet before he realizes what’s happening. The room is too small, too full of unfriendly ears, and this guy is running his mouth, using Jack’s personal life as a bargaining chip in the hopes of getting laid? How many other people has he talked to about Jack? 

“Whoa, hey, that got you excited --”

Eric could have been a fan; Jesus, he could have been a reporter.

“Joel Murrell, was it? It’s been lovely, but I’m afraid I have a prior engagement I just now remembered. Do you have a card? Maybe we can chat later.”

Murrell frowns like he wants to protest but opens his wallet to grab a business card anyway. It’s almost serendipitous that Tater chooses that very moment to sidle up beside Eric.

“B! Who is your new friend?”

“B?” Murrell questions.

“Bittle?” Tater explains, confused, looking at Eric, “Does he not know who you are? Eric Bittle, plays for Schooners?” Tater motions to the press badge on Murrell’s hip. “I’m thinking you are not very good at your job.”

“You’re a hockey player?” Murrell asks, dumbstruck. 

“This is Joel, and he was just leaving.” Eric snatches the business card from his hand and Tater nods, immediately understanding.

“Ah, well, good thing because we need you for shots. If you will excuse us,” Tater rests a hand on Eric’s shoulder and steers him away. Staring down a table of All-Stars, Eric realizes he has to take care of this right now.

“I’ll be right back, Tater, order me a drink and make Bennett pay for it. Get something for Jack, too.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, instead, he retreats to the bathroom and after checking all the stalls to be sure he’s alone, pulls out his phone to call the first person he can think of.

He waits for several rings and the call goes to voicemail, so he tries again. And again. On the fourth attempt, Bob answers, voice heavy with sleep and worry. Eric woke him up and he doesn’t give two shits because this is important.

“Bob, it’s Eric, listen, I know it’s late -- and Jack’s fine -- but we need to talk.”

[lorilane33]

Chicon 2017

Okay. So this is my write up of what my weekend was like in Chicago this past weekend. I flew in Friday morning and left the hotel Monday morning. This is 1,700 words and if you don’t want to read it, I’m totally fine with it. 

This convention is my second this year. Hell, it’s my second this SUMMER. I was lucky enough to buy the winning t-shirt for the gold pass in Rob Benedict’s Rock God campaign. I arrived Friday morning at 8:30am and saw the meager line of women waiting for preregistration to start. If you know me, you know that I am an extrovert. However, I tend to have a lot of introverted tendencies when I’m around people I don’t know. I tend to seek out the background and fly under the radar, but since I was alone at this con I KNEW I had to step out of my comfort zone and make some friends fast or else I would be alone and bored. So I went over to a group of girls who were talking animatedly about something related to Supernatural (what, I can’t remember), and I just sat down and started talking with them. Instantly I felt a connection with three of them, and one of them turned out to be the girl I ran around with alllllllll weekend.

I had my photo op with Rob that day, and I told him that I was the gold pass winner for his campaign and he was so excited that I chose Chicon to attend. He then remembered me for the rest of the weekend and whenever I saw him he’d ask how my weekend was going. I also listened to Kim and Briana’s panel, which made me cry twice. Briana for being amazingly emotional and proud of Wayward Daughters, and Kim for being so amazing in telling her story. She’s become such an inspiration to me when it comes to taking control of your brokenness and putting yourself back together, and being okay that there are scars. I then cried when I met her at her auto table. I told her about how she’s inspired me, and then I started crying and she reached across to hold my hand while she gave her response. Gah I freaking love that woman. Friday Night Karaoke was a blast, and insane like always. Moving into Saturday.

I was in the costume contest, and @sdavid09  was too! We had no idea though until later that day. After the contest I decided I NEEDED a picture with Mark since I was dressed as Demon!Dean and it was too perfect. So I speed-walked my face off to the ops table and bought a Mark photo op and speed-walked down to the photo room, making it with five minutes to spare before he had to go up for his panel. The photo turned out AMAZINGGGGG (but because of the nature of my job I’m not going to post it. If you’d like to see my ops, I am more okay with sending them through a message if you’d like. :) ). I met up with @sassy-losechester then I went to @sdavid09‘s room and played Supernatural Clue while eating pizza with her and @hannah-addicted while I waited for the concert to start. IT WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS. We had tea lights for Rob when he sang “She Waits”, and he cried. It was a very touching moment. THEN SUNDAY ROLLED AROUND.

I went to the gold panel with J2 and laughed so hard. I was so glad to have had the opportunity to listen to those goofballs live. Then came their afternoon panel, and that was just as good, if not better. Jared and Jensen have both become such important people in my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today without their inspiration in my life. Jared, for his campaigns and raising awareness of mental illnesses that are a real thing, but are looked down upon. He gave me the courage to speak out about my struggles and to be proud of the fact that I’m still fighting, I’m here for a reason, and my story can be used to help other people.

And Jensen. Holy oh my lanta this man. People always asked me in college why I loved Supernatural so much and I always brought up the fact that the actors themselves are incredible people, which would lead into a conversation about what each of the three boys (Jensen, Jared and Misha) have done for me. Jared is easy. See above paragraph. Misha is easy. He reminds me that kindness makes the world go round and that it’s important to help others. But when I’d get to Jensen, I could only ever think of how he’s come out of his shell in the past few years with his singing. But that hadn’t really have a positive impact on my life, or inspired me to be a better me. I was extroverted, I put myself out there a lot and was generally friends with everyone. So I just tagged him onto the YANA campaign with Misha (at this time the I AM ALIVE network had not been created yet). And I’d move along to the next topic. Little did I know though, Jensen’s courage DID end up inspiring me, just, three years later than I hoped it would. If you know me at all, and/or you have talked to me regularly enough for me to actually talk to you about deep dark stuff, you know that I’ve had a pretty rough go at this whole mother/daughter relationship thing. And more times than not I’ve probably told you a story or five to help reiterate the level of unhealthy my relationship with my mother was at. Up until the last six or so months that is.

I had been watching con video after con video, finding solace in the conversations that were taking place within the fandom and the cast. As I watched, I realized that over the years Jensen has gotten progressively more involved in the singing part of things to the point where he’s singing at some SNS, and recording on Jason’s albums. I finally thought to myself ‘if Jensen can get the guts to do something like this and not go cry in a hole, then I can have a simple conversation with my mother.’ So I did. We talked. We have had FOUR heart to hearts over the last six months, and now our relationship is basically what it should have been for the last fifteen years. I would not have bit the bullet if it hadn’t of been for Jensen.

SOOOO. Not sorry about the rant, it was lead up to what happened on Sunday. When I got to Chicon, I had every intention of getting EITHER a Jared/Misha OR a Jensen/Misha photo op. Just so I could have one of the boys in my weekend. But ask @arryn-nyxx @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog and @dustycelt. I was debating back and forth for WEEKS about which op I wanted to get. Well I ended up with both. I couldn’t decide, and I love them both and owe them so much.

I go through the Jensen/Misha op, and I had it look like we were taking a selfie while making faces, no problems, and really hardly any interaction. We were all on a time crunch to get Misha to the airport and they were BOOKING IT through those ops. And like five minutes later I was back downstairs for my Jared/Misha. I get up to the front of the line and look at MIsha and go, “Hey! We’re taking a selfie again,” and he goes, “Okay sounds good!” and I took my place between them for the photo. Chris was standing there fiddling with his camera for a few seconds, so we were just waiting. But then Jared, being Jared, started dancing along to the music that was playing in the photo op room. Not only was he dancing, he was full on grinding up against my hip as the music played. Full on Padalecki butt to my hip contact was happening. I was so dumbfounded that all I could do was start laughing and say, “JARED!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” as he was bumping me into Misha at this point. Then the dork starts laughing his big belly laugh, which makes me laugh harder, and then at that point Chris decides he’s ready to take the picture. Jared being the actor he is went into serious mode and made the face perfectly, while I’m still standing there trying to make a face through my tears and laughter. And then as I walked away he freaking winked at me. That man, I swear. 

After the hilarity that happened with Jared it was time for autos with J2. I got up to Jared’s table, and we talked about the semicolon tattoo I have that I plan on adding on to, and I told him thank you for everything. I received a very animated high five and another wink as I moved on. Then I got to Jensen’s line and started to get nervous. I knew I had to tell him thank you, but in a way that was positive and not crossing any lines. I made my way through the line and finally arrived in front of him and my moment had come. As he was signing my coffee mug I simply said his name to get his attention, and then proceeded to thank him from the bottom of my heart for what he’s done for me, and what he’s helped me accomplish. The rest of the moment is a very personal one and became more intimate than I ever thought it would be, and I feel like keeping that part to myself. But tears were shed, and I will forever be grateful for Jensen being in my life. Some of you know exactly what took place between Jensen and myself, and that means that you know about my history with my mom and you knew how big this moment was for me. I had every intent of thanking him when I got to Chicon this year, and I wanted you to know that I succeeded. If you don’t know, that’s okay. Just know that Jensen has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen and he truly cares, so very much.

[simply-klaire]

April 9, 2017 Supernatural Seattle Convention

I finally have time to write about my first Supernatural convention in Seattle! I know this is about four months late hahaha but better late than never. The Saturday night of the convention, I found out that Jared and Jensen was in Capitol Hill/SODO area and the Sunday morning of the convention Misha was in downtown Seattle, which is only ten minutes from where I live. Seriously I was a hot mess cause yay they are in Seattle! My home since I was six years old. I didn’t get any sleep Saturday night cause I still couldn’t process the fact that I was going to meet Jensen and Misha. Truth be told I was running on maybe four hours of sleep and I was procrastinating on a major paper due that week. It was worth procrastinating even if I didn’t do to well on that paper lol. 

Bellevue isn’t far from where I live. I was so nervous when we were driving to the hotel. I didn’t know what to expect but once we got there the volunteers were so nice. We got our wrist bands, photo op tickets, and bought merchandise. While we were walking around we saw Rob Benedict. He fucking passed us twice and I was such a nervous wreck both times. My heart was beating so fast, I couldn’t even say anything or wave. We took multiple photos with the impala and the poster banners before the panels began. Mark Sheppard’s panel was fucking hilarious. He was so sassy and i loved it. I’m so glad I was able to see him since he isn’t doing creation cons after this year. After Mark’s panel was J2′s panel. It was my first panel with both of them so I didn’t know what to expect. When someone asked which finale was the hardest to film, Jensen said we haven’t filmed it yet, Kamille and I knew Cas was going to fucking die. We just had a feeling and Jensen just confirmed it for us. After the panels, was our cockles and Cas photo op. 

Cockles photo op: Before the photo op I was a nervous wreck. I was shaking and my body felt cold. While I was in line, witnessing the way Misha and Jensen interacted melted my heart. It was easy and that’s why I love them so much. My sister and I were clueless in what to do but we ended up doing a hugging photo. She got Misha and I got Jensen. It went by so fast. His hug made me relax. It honestly felt like an outer body experience and I’m still trying to process it. Once the photo was taken, I began to drop my arms around Jensen. He still had his arm over my side and then I looked him right in the eyes and said thank you. My fucking god I couldn’t even hear what he said after. Maybe he said of course or no thank you. Cause after I said thank you, I was looked down immediately and tried to leave because I was so fucking nervous. I was just in awe with him. I was so high off of that encounter. 

Castiel photo op: I was still a fucking nervous wreck. I tried to be among the last group of people to get the Castiel photo ip. Misha looked so tired. We made eye contact multiple times while I was in line and I seriously fucking melted having those damn fucking blue eyes stare at you. Kamille was the one who talked and asked him if it was okay to do our pose. She pulled his tie and I held his hand. When I asked to hold his hands, I was so nervous. I hope my hands were a clammy mess ahahaha. How he held my hand was so awkward. LOL. That was probably why I felt a little more grounded in this photo op than the cockles’ one. Two go my fingers were wedged in between his fingers. It was honestly so fucking hilarious. I love it. That moment probably made this photo op very memorable for me. 

This was among the best days I had. Everyone who we met and interacted with in the convention was welcoming and it was very easy to open up and talk to people. Kamille and I joined this fandom only a year ago in August and I couldn’t be happier admiring people who do so much for their fans and community. With love, I appreciate this family I have grown to be part of the past year. Can’t wait to write about our experience in vancon later!