#I’m so scared to create
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I need to have an art rant
#I’m so scared to create#im an artist who’s afraid of making art#art and fear#art#artist#art do be keeping me in a pendulum swing between feeling like a god and a fool with no skills#it’s that whole thing about the talent gap where your ability to critically analyse art is higher then your ability to create it
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Strife




Personal project for the most talented
@imagine-darksiders
(if y’all like to read the most wholesome and thought provoking stories PLEASE for the love of pizza, I HIGHLY recommend reading her stuff)
I hope I did him justice because I honestly believe that we would be the best of friends. Very much would like to give him a hug 🫂🧡
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#darksiders strife#darksiders#darksiders art#i’ve never even played darksiders#But imagine-Darksiders fanart and fanfics are so riveting I now consider myself a fan#It’s just that good#traditional art#traditional drawing#traditional sketch#it felt good to get my hands dirty with charcoal again#Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like can’t draw things that are cute and fluffy#So I try to refugee my thought process and be like ok what CAN I draw#And I’m like I can draw epic stuff with good shading and detail#THAT I can do#It’s good to remind myself that we all have talents in different ways and that all are special and needed even if it’s not what we want#I’m grateful for my hands and the years and experience that it has taken me to be able get this far#It’s a good day y’all#I’m grateful to be able to create#Also process pics because the final result is rarely my favorite but here we are
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Since I don’t really find a lot of cross-stitch patterns of Nick and Charlie and I REALLY wanted to make something Heartstopper related… I decided to learn how to create a pattern just to make this! They are not perfect but I’m still really happy with the results!!


#first post#i was scared to post#but I don’t know where else to post this#so here goes nothing#it’s also the first time in my life that I’m actually good with an art form#and I want to create more#so exciting#heartstopper#nick nelson#charlie spring#nick and charlie#nick x charlie#narlie#i’m bi actually#lgbtqia#bisexual#bisexual flag#queer#cross stitch#❤️🧡💛💚💙💜#art#alice oseman#osemanverse
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Guys I’ve been thinking about these two all month…they deserved some more time together and if we don’t get to see that happen canonically then I’ll just need to take matters into my own hands and manifest a universe where they joke around together. This is serious business
Also just felt like this audio matched the dynamic well :))
#alsooooo it’s on my YouTube channel guys just so you knowwww#but for convince sake I’m just posting the footage here without link since Tumblr loops it automatically#smg4 Puzzlevison fandom I love you guys mwah here’s a treat for you all enjoy the sillies <3#I’m going to explode you don’t even know how insane I’m going right now ehehheheheh#oh the power I’ve been given as an animator I can create ANYTHING AHAHHAHAH#I’ll subject you all to my brainrot of these two and NO ONE will be able to chain me down I’m letting my creativity TAKE OVER#I’m kinda scared that my channel will devolve into SMG4 fandom content only tho 💀#I’ll get a hold on myself before that happens because it would be embarrassing explaining it to my freinds & family & current subs lol#I don’t want them left in the dark simply because I let this TV guy poses my every waking thought#oh well we will see what the future brings and what prospects we gain >:3#guys make this blow up but not enough to reach popularity levels thanks k bye#smg4 fan animation#smg4 Puzzlevison arch#Meggy & mr puzzles#mr. puzzles and Meggy smg4#hplonesome art
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Ok was that enough evidence that I still make art be honest 💔💔💔
#I haven’t touched my tablet in like a month I’m scared to see what id create when im so out of practice#chatterbox
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Oh my god the curtain call song for the play is officially “People Are Strange”… which I know I heard for the first time in “Lost Boys” a few years ago. Jesus Christ the whole damn universe is telling me to watch this movie 😭
#I think I’ll probably like it more this time#I reckon I didn’t like it before b/c I was too old to care abt the mythology of vampires#but too young to understand the excitement of the weird fantastical 80s eternal summer the film created#also when I first watched it I was a completely straight square of a kid lol. nowadays tho…#I’m still straight…but not so scared of lookin “gay” or crop tops or cool jewelry#all that jazz#sorry outsiders followers lol I’m just so hyped for summer that summer-type things r all I can think abt#(ie. beach boys music; surfing; pineapples n mangos; so cal; boardwalks; warm nights… I need it to be summer so bad it’s consumed me)#the lost boys#personal stuff#rambling
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this new era/comeback feels very much like dan is trying to rebuild his relationship with content creation and fandom. this isn’t like a new revelation but i’m thinking ab it so walk with me
dan has mentioned how hard it is for him to post on his own because he tends to take things too seriously or want them to be perfect. but i think that during his hiatus and having his little serious tour and his little fake talk show, it was A Lot and it was really good, just a lot on him. I think he’s been able to find the joy of making calm casual content rather than something huge and amazing. i think it’s allotted him the opportunity to interact with his fans more too in a way that he’s never really gotten to— between being in the closet and trying not to reveal to much about himself and his attempt at making perfect or profound content. now he’s out, he can talk about his real life and connect with the audience through that but also it makes being silly and casual SO much easier. there’s nothing to hide, so we don’t need to be as a serious anymore.
but even in finally finding the enjoyment in this chill content, he is able to express himself creatively through this tour. it’s a huge project that both dan and phil are majorly excited about, and i think it’s because of this new relationship they’ve formed with us and their careers. they’re not (for lack of better term) afraid of us anymore, they’re excited to tell us their secrets that they couldn’t before and confront our dumb conspiracies. i feel like the new era is built around comfort and love and it’s really nice to see that they feel that way with us, but also that they can feel it for themselves and within their lives. it’s just nice.
#dan centered but phil totally has some of this going on but it’s different#like when dan was on hiatus all of phil’s videos seem just a little sad to me#ofc he’s having fun and enjoying creating still or he wouldn’t be doing it#but you can tell he would like to do more#but again separate conversation i think#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#phil lester#dnp#dnptit#dapg#daniel howell#sorry if this is dumb i’m so scared of posting ab them tbh
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i’m realizing that one of my favorite ways to create a character is by first establishing a major flaw of theirs and then examining how that will inevitably fuck them up a bit. then fleshing them out from there
#i’m realizing that’s how i created like. the majority of the characters i rp with LMAOOO i would start with flaws i think would be#interesting to examine in whatever story they’re in !!!!!!!! and then i’d build out positive traits/backstory in order to flesh them out#but starting with that major flaw really helps me build their character i’m realizing . i’m doing it with the new rp oc i’m trying to make#like for sae (after deciding she’s a fisherman) i wanted her to deal with impatience. sadie is self centered + controlling. erin is fake af#and even for dnd characters i’ve played like immian is a hermit and naive while tinni is SCARED as FUCK!#i really honestly believe flaws are greatttt for your characters story. like just in general really good for a guy to have negative traits#that will impact the narrative in a way that almost feels inevitable and thus force them to confront it OR succumb to it#so instead of starting with going Oh Well Sae is Nice and working from there i’m able to say oh sae is actually pretty hot headed deep down#which allows me to build more traits based off of that… she’s resilient bc she doesn’t want to BE hot headed. stubborn as fuck#wise bc she wants to grow. slow talking bc of her afi which connects to her backstory which connects to being hot headed#guys is this anything at all. is this microphone on. it’s 2am#lee chat
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I actually had barely touched v5 until we started planning out the game.
And yeah, ok, I feel the hate now.
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i just changed my pronouns on my blog scary!!
#i still don’t know my gender#do i only use she sometimes??? or all of the time???#so yes im always ok with he/they but like mainly he i am never not ok with he/him#but sometimes i also use she/her MAYBE IDK#tumblr this is my test run#of how it feels#idk man idk#i created a pronouns page thing for fun but i’m too scared to link it here so
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“Chappell Roan isn’t ready for stardom” just say you want to stalk people and leave
#setting boundaries like that is something celebrities have done before and should continue to do#you are not entitled to someone’s time because you enjoy what they create#you are not entitled to a kind tone when she and her family have been harassed#also doesn’t sit right with me that a lot of people I’ve seen express this sentiment are other men#as a trans guy I know the fear of being fem presenting and scared of anyone coming up to you randomly on the street#so I can’t imagine the fear of knowing that some of these people bombarding you for photos probably know more weird personal shit about you#than your actual acquaintances and not knowing what they will do/have already done with that info#and what their real intentions are by getting that close to you#a friendly photo can turn into a knife hitting your vital organs#rant post#chappell roan#sorry if my thoughts are messy in the tags It’s early and I’m annoyed
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I love Becky Sloan so much I’m gonna cry
#I just watched the she created that interview with her#I love her she makes me so happy#I need to cry#ahhhhhhh#:3#dhmis#don’t hug me i’m scared#becky sloan#Coffinz inzane hourz of inzanity!!!
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watching SVU and can anyone tell me why they switched up Stabler and his wife’s marriage like that? when the show first started, he talked to her all the time about what he was seeing on the job and now it’s their primary conflict.
#law and order svu#elliot stabler#ik it’s to create drama but idk it feels contrived?#like. id expect drama about him not being home or his anger issues#cause that man scares me but somehow he’s what…father of the year?#mind you I’m only on S2 so
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on the real, im trying to throw myself back into the IF/writing space because it really was the singular thing that had helped me heal the first time around.
im playing with the idea of another IF, and really just taking my time with it and letting myself not be so pressured by forcing myself to update or churn out chapter a ton - that’s where a lot of my angst came from with FTMB and when TMITAWH was an IF
also! I’ve been absent from the space long enough that im not sure im reading everything from my friends or if there’s been some really good stuff coming out lately.
If you have any recs, I’d love to read them!
#idk idk just thoughts#I get a lot of anxiety about traditionally publishing TMITAWH because it’s such a#it’s such a book#publishing is hell and that’s even if I get an agent and even then the book still may not EVER be published#so like what do I do with the story then#do I come back to IF with it and just make it literally you click through the story because it’s not gonna change#or do I self pub#OR do I just throw it up somewhere online#I care about this story SO much it’s like a piece of me#so idk#but also coming back to creating IF is different too because I’m scared about immediate feedback like that and what if people don’t like it#yada yada yada#but it may be like a fun thing for me to get my mind off things#momma (me) (derogatory) cannot go back to therapy#anyway#let me know some recs please love you bunches ♥️♥️♥️#twine#IF#interactive fiction
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I think Mike forgot to take into consideration that he was straight when he stared at Will’s lips 😔
#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#mike wheeler i know what you are#I’m scared to read these comments#why do they talk about Mike like he’s a real person and not a fictional character?#they act like he’s a concrete and real heterosexual ™️ boy existing outside the confines of the show#who is sadly forced to reject will because he’s just so straight ™️😪#and not a character the duffers created to do specific gay things in a specific context
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whatever. Go my creepy crawly

#Trying to fuck anatomy over and just draw angles#Creepy crawly is a word combo that is just……… so her……..#I don’t know anything about this girl#I never know anything ab my oc like diva you created them.#They’re like…… some acquaintanced relatives that I kinda like but know nothing about and the only shi ik r rumours from my ma#My family irl lowkey but 💔#Just remembered my grandpa is getting ball surgery. BALL SURGERY. ITS SO FUNNY TO ME. ITS REAL.#Anyway. Im always so scared ab posting ab my ocs bc i feel like i will be pulverized for no reason lmao#Like…. Hey…… yeah it’s me again. The fuckass shark. The yapper. Yeah I’m. I have. I have more of these ppl. Idk anything ab them.#Sighh….. this is my diary I should be doing whatever I want#But what if the mice dont like the pulp 💔#Ok I’ll shut up. That’s it.#Oc#original character#sketch#Had to erase yet another drawing to draw this…… whatever 💔
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