#I’m so sorry this happened to you u wouldn’t wish that experience on anybody ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prorevenge · 4 years

Text

Bully me for months? I'll hit you where it hurts the most, literally.

I want to preface this by saying I'm not proud of what I've done here. To the casual observer, what I did might seem like justice, but, really, I wish it didn't have to go as far as it did. I want my story to be a cautionary tale of what happens when bullying isn't taken seriously. I don't want this story to inspire you to do what I did, but as to what happens when people don't make the right choices the first time. Also, TL;DR at the bottom, the quotes aren't exact, and apologies if this seems a little all over the place. It's not easy for me to bring up stories like this, but I felt maybe I'd do some good by sharing it.

For as long as I can remember, I had a habit of bottling up my emotions. My single father is a staunch believer in traditional masculinity, including the idea that men and boys shouldn't cry. By my early to mid teens, I succumbed to this outdated idea, and accepted my fate as a quiet, stoic drone that just took orders, respected authority, and did hard work (especially manual labor.)

Enter my high school, which had a huge problem with bullying. The worst kids by far were the trashy "gangsta" kids (their words, not mine) from the inner city who targeted anybody they considered weaker than them. I was a pretty muscular 15 year old, but that didn't stop them from saying things like "Dude, you're so fat," or "Wassamatta, fattie? Lose your Twinkies on the way over?" In class, it was mostly petty annoyance: taking my pencil, sticking gum in my hair, insults. They got physical when the teachers weren't looking. Tripping me in the hall and pretending it was an accident; slamming my head against the locker, hitting me with footballs or soccer balls and saying a fake "whoops, sorry!" By themselves, it didn't seem that bad, but enough grains of sand add up to a huge pile, and, at that point, I was up to my waist in it.

Of course, the school didn't do anything about it. Teachers would either tell me "I'll take care of it," and then nothing ever changed, or I'd get something stupid like "I didn't see it. There's nothing I can do" or "You know, if I stopped class every time a kid was acting up, we'd never get anything done." Sure, and if a tree falls in the forest, it didn't make a sound because you didn't hear it. My father wasn't any help either. He'd tell me things like "there's gonna be people like that everywhere you go," or "if you're crying about this, you'll never make it in life," basically telling me to go suck it up because there are worse things out there. As a kid, I was hurt by this, but I was 15, so my self-esteem had been run over by a Combine a few times by now. For months, I just kept ignoring and waiting, hoping my teachers would keep their word about dealing with this problem. Sadly, it seemed they'd rather prioritize pep rallies and Career Aptitude Tests than do their job in keeping kids safe.

By around Spring, I'd had enough. By now, my sadness and annoyance had transmuted into boiling rage that I'd been keeping in me for far too long. If nobody was going to fight for me, I'd do it for myself, literally. I devoted the majority of my weekend to prepping for a showdown on Monday.

One of the few good things about my father is that how knowledgeable he is in self-defense. He believed it was important for a man to learn to fight, so he had me take several different kinds of martial art classes. If I was gonna fight a bully, I had to make it a proper fight. I then researched about Krav Maga, a branch of martial arts that's basically a military-style form of self defense, meant to train you how to fight if you were ever in danger "outside the arena." No rules, no balanced teams, no referees; just you and your need for survival. One of the components of Krav Maga is knowing the body's biggest "weak spots," ones that maximize the most amount of pain when hurt. Things like the groin, toes, and eyes were obvious, but you could also hit the knees, solar plexus, and even the spine. Since my classes didn't teach Krav Maga (you had to be 16 at the time,) I watched many online videos, making mental notes of the techniques used. It was almost always the same kid or group of kids that bullied me, so I already knew what they looked like, and, more importantly, where to strike.

On Monday, I waited for the next chance to come for the bullies to attack. To my surprise, they kept quiet for the most part. Maybe this was one of my lucky days where I'd actually get some work done. Then, while I was crunching for an exam during lunch, one of the bullies, a regular, spilled my water all over my textbook, and saying, "Whoops, sorry!" As he and his pals started walking away laughing, I got a good look at the back of the guy's neck. I raised my fist, aiming for the middle where I'd likely hit his spinal column.

WHAM! I knocked the guy over to the ground. That's when all Hell broke lose. His friends tried tackling me away, and I tried remembering to hit all their weak points: eyes, throat, groin, and jaw. It was fairly sloppy attempt at Krav Maga given my inexperience, and the other kids trying to fight back, but it got the effect I wanted. Of course, I didn't come out unscathed. I got punched in the jaw, a bloody nose, a bruise to the forehead, and more than a few kicks in the family jewels. The other kids noticed us fighting, with some going to get a teacher while others watched in a mix of shock and excitement. Eventually, the principal and a few other teachers pulled us apart, and sent us to the office, after our injuries were treated.

The principal talked with us individually while the assistant principal called all our parents. When it was my turn, I explained what happened. At some point, the principal said, "Why didn't you tell the teacher?" At that moment, I just snapped, somehow managing to sound even angrier than when I was fighting a few minutes ago. "I ALREADY TOLD THE DAMNED TEACHERS, LIKE A MILLION FUCKING TIMES, BUT NOBODY WAS DOING SHIT ABOUT IT! NOBODY! YOU TELL ME OVER AND OVER 'I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT,' BUT NOBODY EVER FUCKING DOES! I WOULDN'T HAVE FELT LIKE I HAD TO DO THIS OF SOMEBODY HERE ACTUALLY DID THEIR DAMNED JOB FOR ONCE!" I got an extra week of suspension for yelling.

Much to my surprise, my father was rather quiet about the whole thing. Normally, my father had the temperament of a dragon, but maybe this whole fight touched his inner "macho man" that made him go easier on me.

On the car ride home, he said calmly, but firmly, "What happened? And tell me the truth." I told him, "They wouldn't stop picking on me, so I defended myself." I waited to hear my father make some snide remark about hurt feelings, but he just said, "Were you in danger?" I paused for a moment, and said, "...Yes." I knew I was exaggerating, but maybe this could open my father's eyes to see how much I was hurting. He was quiet for a minute, and then said, "I can't judge on your situation 'cause I wasn't there, but it's in a boy's nature to be aggressive sometimes, and it sounds like those bullies were just using it for harm. I also know you well enough t'know you wouldn't lay a finger on somebody unless you felt like you had to." I nodded, holding back tears. "Next time you're ever in that kinda danger, call me. Don't wait for the teachers to fail you again. I'll give 'em Hell." I was stunned, and, once I realized what'd just happened, I smiled. That's one of the few redeeming qualities about my father. As toxic and narcissistic as he was, he was an expert on bringing vengeance to those who deserved it.

During my suspension, one of the bullies' parents wanted to press assault charges on me, but my father threatened to counter-sue the school AND the parents for letting the bullying go on for so long. Thankfully, nobody had to go to court as the bullies' credibility sank faster than the Titanic. Once word got around that I fought back to stop the bullying (rather than the strong, quiet guy going psycho,) more kids decided to come forward to the principal about their experience being bullied, too, and how they also went to the teachers for help. This included a few girls who were being sexually harassed by these kids. This was a PR nightmare for the school that left a permanent stain on their reputation among the locals. In the end, the bullies got expelled, some faced charges for sexual harassment, and I got transferred to a different high school. I guess I'm a little proud that I inspired some other troubled kids to come forward, but I really didn't like violence. I'm built for self-defense, but I don't like hurting anybody unless it's to protect those I love. I would've much preferred if teachers actually did their job, and "took care of it" before I had to.

I did get a gift certificate for summer classes in Krav Maga for my Sweet 16. Thankfully, I've never had to use it yet.

TL;DR: Bullies spend months torturing me, and teachers won't do anything, so I researched and imitated an advanced martial arts to bring maximum physical pain to my bullies.

(source) story by (/u/aitacrybaby)

#prorevenge #by /u/aitacrybaby #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

47 notes · View notes

kickstillkickin · 4 years

Text

Klance Month 2020 Day 3 - Thunderpike

"That was a close one," Block sighed, collapsing into a heap on the ground.

Shiro and Valayun nodded their agreement, both a little worse for wear but mostly alright. Meklavar, who needed to lean on their axe for support, glared at their remaining party member. "Maybe it wouldn't have been so close if someone had some self-control!"

Pike flinched, his tail lashing out in expression of his discomfort. "You know, I really feel like I'm being called out-"

"You are!" the dwarf screeched. "One mention of the words coin, crystal, or money, and you charge right in without thinking. I'm putting you in time-out."

Pike put his hands on his hips. "Yeah, okay, whatever. You're, like, two feet tall."

The elf and paladin exchanged a look of equal parts exasperation and exhaustion. Shiro stepped forward, putting himself between the arguing party members. "We should focus on finding supplies and a place to rest. Fighting with each other isn't going to get us anywhere."

"Fine," Pike and Meklavar muttered at the same time.

Block hoisted himself to his feet and dusted off his robes. "If memory serves, there's a village a little way's that direction," he pointed with his staff.

"Then we should go that direction," Valayun suggested. "I hope there's a market. I'm almost out of arrows.

The party began walking that direction. "No problemo if there isn't one. I'll just steal some supplies for everyone," Pike bragged.

"What a great way to make everyone in town hate us," Meklavar grumbled.

"Hey," Pike protested, appearing suddenly at the dwarf's side. "Name one time me stealing got us in trouble." The entire party started talking all at once, each bringing up a separate occasion on which his stealing had screwed them over. "Okay, I get it, I said name one time. Geez."

Shiro gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. "We didn't mean it like that, Pike."

"Right," Valayun agreed. "We were merely joking around."

"Of course you guys were," Pike replied flatly, shoulders sagging. His ear twitched. Immediately, he snapped to attention and stopped walking. "Did you guys hear that?"

"What, the two seconds of sweet, peaceful silence before you opened your mouth again?" Meklavar shot back.

Pike growled his displeasure. Everyone else stopped walking and looked at him over their shoulders. "I'm serious. I just heard something."

"Probably just an animal," Shiro assured the party.

Block began biting at his fingernails, looking every which way in a panic. "Or a monster!"

"Or it's nothing," the dwarf insisted. "You hear things all the time. It's because you've got ears."

Pike gave up. "Fine. But if we get mugged, or maimed, or murdered-"

"Look out!" A new voice ordered.

A mysterious figure appeared out of the shadows, and it was running right for them. All any of them could make out was a slim build and a long braid, tossed around behind them. The five of them--except for Pike, who was obviously mesmerized by the mysterious stranger--cast their eyes about for signs of a threat. Just as they did, a pack of wild apes came charging at them from the surrounding trees.

Everyone drew their weapons, though Valayun complained about not having enough arrows. The apes weren't very powerful, but having a distracted party member did a lot to hurt their chances. The stranger felled a few beasts then, upon realizing that Pike was out of order at the moment, launched himself at the ape nearest the thief.

Another moment, and the party was once again safe. Before anyone else could open their mouths, however, Pike sidled right up to the stranger.

. . . . .

"I roll to seduce," Lance said immediately. Pidge clamped her hand down over his 20-sided die. "Do not." "You're not even DM-ing this campaign," he complained. "The young lad is correct," Coran agreed, fiddling with his mustache. "But I believe Pidge speaks for the party when she voices her concerns over your bard-like behavior, my boy." Lance gasped. "I'll have you know that Pike frequently employs flirtations as a means of-" "I roll to trip his sorry ass," Pidge interrupted.

. . . . .

Meklavar tripped the flirtatious thief before he could say anything stupid.

"Who are you?" Shiro asked, stepping in as party leader.

The stranger turned to face them. For the first time, everyone got a good look at him. It was a half-elf ranger with dark clothing, a drawn sword, and a sheathed dagger. Distrusting eyes studied the lot of them, flicking from one person to the next. Discerning threats. Picking apart weaknesses.

"I'm just passing through," he said mysteriously.

"Yeah, we gathered that," Pike huffed. "What's your name, genius?"

"And what are you doing in these woods by yourself?" Meklavar piped up.

Block nodded his agreement. "Yes, exactly what I was thinking. These woods are dangerous, man!"

"My animal companion has been taken from me," the stranger answered. "I heard rumors that the culprit is a wizard named Oklarth."

"What a coincidence," Valayun commented. "We're hunting down Oklarth as well!"

The stranger cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you after him?"

"A family heirloom was taken from my village," Meklavar explained. "Supposedly Oklarth has taken it."

"I have an idea! Why don't you come with us?" Block invited. "You know what they say, the more the merrier, right?"

"I've never worked with others before," he admitted, unsure.

Shiro offered a reassuring smile. "If you come with us, the chances of recovering your animal are a lot better than if you're by yourself."

"I suppose that's true." After another moment of deliberation, the mysterious stranger nodded. "I'll join you."

Pike sighed. "Finally, we've reached a consensus. Can we get your name now?"

"Thunderstorm Midnight," he introduced.

. . . . .

"Wait a minute, hold up," Lance sputtered. "U-turn. That's your name?"

Keith bristled. "Yes."

"Guys," Shiro chided. "You're getting side-tracked."

. . . . .

"Well, Thunderstorm," Pike said with some bite, "would you happen to know if there's a village nearby? We need to resupply before we take on... well, anybody."

The ranger nodded again. "There's a town just a few minutes' travel from here."

"Lead the way," Meklavar invited.

True to Thunderstorm's word, they arrived in a quaint little town within minutes. The party compared notes and decided to split up. Valayun and Shiro headed toward the market to replenish their weapons. Meklavar and Block went off in search of food, potions, and anything else interesting. Pike and Thunderstorm? Stuck together searching for information on Oklarth, seeing as Pike was a thief and Thunderstorm was incredibly intimidating.

"This is stupid," Pike complained, kicking at the dirt road. "Where are we even supposed to start looking for dirt on Oklarth?"

"Oklarth?" a passing townsperson asked. "That's the wizard that cursed my family."

The two of them exchanged a look, then turned their attention back to the ancient woman in front of them. "What else do you know about him?"

"Why, the rotten thing is holed up in that there mountain," she replied, pointing with a trembling, wrinkly finger. "Last I heard, his lair was at the very top of it."

The old woman waddled away, grumbling to herself. Pike shrugged. "That was easy."

"We should keep asking around and see if there's anything else to learn about him," Thunderstorm suggested.

"Pshh, no way," he scoffed. "He lives at the top of that mountain. Sounds like all the info there is to me."

Thunderstorm scowled. "What if it isn't? We could be walking into some kind of trap!"

"And that's why we have me," Pike said, pointing to himself. "To deactivate the traps."

The pair of them continued to bicker as they wandered through town. Eventually, they met up with the rest of the party. Pike relayed the bit of information they'd learned.

"That isn't very specific," Valayun commented.

Thunderstorm sent a pointed look in a certain assassin's direction. "Gee, I wish somebody had thought to gather more information."

"Oh, bite me," Pike shot back.

Shiro physically placed himself between the two of them. "Enough. We have no idea what's in that mountain. We should spend our energy coming up with a plan instead of arguing."

"I say let 'em argue," Meklavar muttered. "Maybe they'll annoy the enemy to death."

"Meklavar," Block scolded.

Valayun face-palmed. Shiro looked a little bit like he wished he'd just minded his own business the day he ran into a certain dwarf and cleric in that tavern. Meklavar seemed two seconds from a blown fuse and Block was the most distressed he'd ever been in his life. (And that was saying something). Thunderstorm and Pike? They were having a glaring contest. It was exactly like a staring contest, but twice as petty and half as productive.

Pike gave in first. "Fine. What's the plan, Shiro?"

"We can assume this will turn out a lot like our first opponent," he began.

"Pike messing up included?"

The thief scoffed. "Pike messing up not included. That was a one-time thing. It happened once. Uno. Just one time."

The entire party took a giant breath to contradict him, again, when Thunderstorm reappeared. No one had noticed him missing. "There's supposedly a secret passage that leads right to the heart of Oklarth's lair. It's protected by some kind of ancient riddle, but it's that or an entire mountain of monsters. Are any of you good with puzzles?"

All hands pointed toward Meklavar. The dwarf dusted off their gloved fingernails and studied them, though there was no way they could see them. "I've had my experience with them."

Thunderstorm wasn't in on the joke. "Right. That's what I asked."

"Well, how do we know your secret passage isn't a trap?" Pike questioned immediately.

"I thought you were here to deactivate the traps," Thunderstorm countered.

"Yeah, well, what if we run into Oklarth while we're looking for it?" he insisted. "Or it's even more heavily guarded than his dungeon?"

"I know a cloaking spell. If one of you could lend me a few things, I can muffle our footsteps," Thunderstorm said patiently. "Assuming you can keep your big mouth shut."

Pike's jaw fell open. "That is slander! You haven't even known us a day and-"

"Thunderstorm's idea sounds great," Meklavar interrupted. "Let's vote on it."

Shiro seized the opportunity for diplomacy. "Perfect. Everyone in favor going straight up the mountain?" Pike gave a certain half-elf the stink eye as he raised his hand. Block tentatively raised his own hand. "And those for looking into this secret passage?" The remaining party members raised their hands. "Sorry guys. It's four to two."

"For the record, my official opinion is that Thunderstorm is wrong no matter what," Pike grumbled.

"Come on, buddy," Block said, patting his back as the party began walking toward the woods once more. "Not worth arguing about."

They stumbled through the woods for only a few minutes before their newest member stopped them. "The villager I spoke said the path started beyond those dead trees." They followed his finger and noted the especially creepy leafless husks, with threatening symbols carved into it. "I'm going to cast my spell now. It will only work for so long, so we can't afford any distractions or delays." Pike turned his nose up the other direction when the half-elf sent a pointed look toward him.

Another fifteen or so minutes, and the trees started to thin out. The party spilled into a clearing just as Thunderstorm warned them his spell would be wearing off soon. In the center was a large stone, with strange rune-like characters shifting around and jumping over another. Some faded in and out. Others glowed blue. They could all feel the ancient magic in it. Eventually, the writing translated itself into the common tongue.

"I am the beginning of the end, the end of every place. I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. What am I?" Meklavar read aloud. "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Shiro stroked his chin in thought. "It's a very vexing riddle, indeed. Perhaps we should meditate on the answer?"

"Bo-ring," Pike complained, dusting off a nearby rock and taking a seat. He slumped forward onto his knees, resting his chin in his hand. "Shortstack, what's your best guess?"

"Gee, I sure would like some peace and quiet to figure it out," the dwarf shot back.

Valayun looked deep in thought for a moment. "I've got it! It's a circle." The group looked at her. "What?"

"No offense," Block said, "but maybe we should leave the riddles to Meklavar."

"It's a good guess," she protested, a little put-out.

"Circles don't have an end," Meklavar pointed out. "That's why they're circles."

Valayun deflated even more. "I suppose you're right."

"You're awful quiet, Thunderstorm," Pike crowed.

"Because I'm thinking," he snapped.

"Guys," Shiro warned. This time, it didn't even have any heart in it. His poor, tired soul just wanted some rest.

"Maybe it's death?" Meklavar mused aloud.

Block thought about it for a moment and nodded along. "That sounds like it could be it!"

"I don't know-"

Pike's protest when unheeded. The rest of the party seemed content with Meklavar's guess.

"So, what? Do I just talk to it?" the dwarf asked uncertainly.

"Worth a shot."

Meklavar took a step toward the stone. Taking a deep breath, they spoke as loudly and clearly as they could, "The answer is death."

They all waited with bated breath. Nothing happened for a few seconds. But then, the writing turned back into runes and glowed an angry red.

"Uh oh," Meklavar mumbled.

"I don't think that-"

Whatever Shiro had been about to say was cut off when the ground disappeared beneath their feet. The six of them were free-falling in pitch black. The ground closed back up above their heads. There was a lot of screaming. The chasm turned into a slope, and the free fall turned into a somewhat gentle descent. The stone under them was smooth, like they weren't the first party this had happened to. Finally, after what seemed like forever, they collided with the ground in varying degrees of pain. No light appeared to aid their vision. Valayun cast a familiar spell, and an arrow from her newly-replenished quiver lit up the darkness.

"I don't think that was the right answer," Shiro finished solemnly.

"You think?" Pike huffed. "It was- Oh my gods, what was that?"

"Again, Pike, the ears," Meklavar exploded. "None of us have very good hearing. You have to answer your own stupid question."

Thunderstorm stood and brushed off his pants. "That sounded like a bug," he commented. "A big one, too."

"How big?" Block asked, already shaking.

"Like, I didn't even know that's what bugs sounded like big," Pike answered as he suddenly appeared behind Shiro's shoulder, a bit pale. "It's like clicking. Or chattering. Ugh." He shuddered when he heard it again.

"It's getting closer," Thunderstorm warned.

Valayun held the arrow higher, but the cavern was too large for it to do very much. "I can't see anything."

"Trust me, that's a good thing," Thunderstorm assured her.

Just as he said it, the room erupted with light. Torches lining the walls blazed into existence. Rapidly adjusting to the new setting, the party realized that they were standing in some kind of arena. The ceiling arced high above them, made of solid stone. In the center of the room, not that far from them, was a giant pill bug. Which didn't sound like a very menacing monster, except that it was twice as tall as them and had too many eyes. Half a dozen giant feelers longer than Shiro's arm (longer than his sword, probably) moved wildly through the air, touching the ground on occasion. It's mouth was huge. Definitely the perfect size to devour even the bulky, broad-shouldered cleric of the party.

"Uh oh," Maklavar said again.

A dozen miniature pill bugs burrowed out from underground, each about the same size as the average person. Block took the opportunity to dive behind Shiro as well. "Don't let them eat me."

"Valayun, Block, and Pike, take out the little guys. Meklavar and Thunderstorm, help me with the big one."

"Right," they all agreed at once.

They took their respective positions and charged the bugs.

Pike darted back and forth between them, disappearing again as soon as he paused to slash at a bug. He quickly discovered their thick armor made it more than a little difficult to deal any damage with a passing blow. He successfully distracted the few bugs that showed any interest in the other half of their party. They had their hands full. Valayun dutifully aimed for chinks in their armor, arrow after arrow disappearing into leg joints and frothy mouths. Block called for her to look out, and she darted away just in time to dodge a bug that had rolled up and charged her. The cleric used spells until his mana ran out, but they had little effect on that thick armor. In the end, he resorted to swatting at them with his staff.

Meklavar, too short to reach much else, took to smashing the giant bug's legs. Thunderstorm climbed on top of it and ran up and down its back, jamming his sword between its armor plates. Shiro distracted it's face, crossing swords with those giant feelers. The half-elf was knocked to the ground when the giant bug rolled itself up and took a trip around the arena.

"This isn't working," Thunderstorm yelled over the noise.

"We need a plan," Valayun agreed.

"And fast," Block wailed, running from a charging pill bug.

Pike dove out the way as another smaller bug rolled past him. Except the bug hit a rock and got some air time. It landed with enough force to pry the coil open. Dazed, the bug's (disgusting) legs splayed in the air, desperate to flip over. Seeing his chance, he darted over and cut a huge gash down its stomach.

"Guys, their stomachs are soft!" Pike announced.

"Secret!" Block cast with the last of his mana.

. . . . .

The six of them abandoned Coran at the table and huddled in the hallway to discuss their plans. The DM sat up straighter in his seat and peered over at the group.

"No cheating," Pidge accused.

Coran huffed and twiddled with his mustache until they nodded and returned to the table. "I hate it when you use that spell."

"Tough luck," Lance said with a grin.

. . . . .

"Secret received," the party said in unison.

Shiro and Meklavar continued to distract the large bug. Thunderstorm joined the efforts to get rid of the mini-mes. Block and Valayun paired up to trick the bugs onto their back, with Block acting as bait and Valayun lining their bellies with arrows. Between Thunderstorm's skill with a sword and Pike's knack for reappearing in opportune places, they made quite the team. The thief lured the bugs over a rock, where a certian ranger was waiting to gut them like a fish. In record time, they'd dispatched all the little pill bugs.

"Now the big one," Shiro said. "Charge!"

It was a great deal more difficult to get the larger bug to roll up again. It had already seen what they did to its smaller companions. But Pike was nothing if not skilled at eliciting annoyance. He poked and prodded and jabbed until that bug was good and angry. But right when it was time to get out of the way, he tripped over a protruding rock. The giant bug rolled itself into a circle and started coming his way. Just as Pike was about to become part of the floor, Thunderstorm darted forward and pulled him to safety. The bug rolled right into their their trap, accidentally crashing into the wall. Valayun fired an explosive arrow. Meklavar pounded its guts into good. It was Shiro who delivered the killing blow in the end. The bug let out one last monstrous screech before lying still.

Thunderstorm stood and dusted himself off. Again. Then, he offered a hand to Pike. "Good job out there."

"Right," Pike said by way of agreement, taking his hand. He waited for the insult as Thunderstorm helped pull him up.

"We make a pretty good team."

"Right," he said again, though surely his cheeks were a little red.

Meklavar let out a whoop. "We did it! That was awesome."

"No thanks to you," Thunderstorm commented flatly. "I thought you were supposed to be good with riddles."

"Death was a perfectly plausible answer," the dwarf protested. "I-"

Pike, shaking himself to clear his head, appeared next to Meklavar. He leaned gingerly onto their helmet. "Except that the answer was the letter e?" Meklavar shoved him off, but the rest of the party just and stared. "What? Beginning of the end? End of every place? Eternity, time, and space? They all start or end with e."

No sooner had he said it, the wall crumbled away to reveal a tunnel, lit with the same torches from the arena. Shiro gave Pike a pat on the shoulder. "Good job figuring it out."

"I'll have you know I have the brains, brawns, and the beauty," Pike purred, swiping his hair back.

Thunderstorm and Meklavar groaned in unison.

"Let's see where that tunnel leads before it closes again," Valayun suggested.

"Or before any more bugs show up," Block agreed.

The party started walking toward the tunnel entrance. Just as they were about to step inside, a gust of wind blew at them, carrying the echo of evil laughter.

. . . . .

"Well, I think that's enough for one day," Coran announced.

The whole table moaned and groaned and protested. "Really? But that was such a big cliffhanger!" Pidge cried.

"We have been here for hours," Shiro pointed out.

"Come on," Hunk soothed. "We still have some programming to do before Rover's done."

Pidge huffed and put on a pouty face. "Okay..." The two grabbed their things and showed themselves out of the apartment.

Shiro stood and stretched. "That was a really good session, Coran. The last bit had me on the edge of my seat."

"Why thank you, lad," he chortled. "All in a day's work for a Dungeon Master as skilled and prestigious as myself."

Allura rolled her eyes. "I have a few projects to finish before the work week starts. I'll be seeing you all next Saturday." She collected her bags and left as well.

Without a word, Keith rose from his seat and practically fell onto the couch. Lance started picking up empty snack bowls and putting them into the sink. He helped Coran pack away his DM supplies, careful to avert his eyes from personal notes written in margins so as not to spoil the campaign. He sent Coran off, and Shiro left a few minutes later. Letting out a happy little sigh, he stretched his arms above his head and plopped himself on the couch next to Keith.

"No," came the muffled protest, buried beneath pillows.

"Oh, are you still pouting, big baby boo?" Lance asked with mock concern. Keith removed a pillow to glare at him. "Seriously, babe, you're still mad?"

Keith shot into a sitting position. "Am I still mad?" he demanded. "Am I still mad? You assholes played D&D without me! Yes, I'm still mad. I had to make a whole new character because you guys accidentally triggered the apocalypse and started over!"

"In our defense, you were on study abroad," Lance tried to say, only to be smothered by a pillow halfway through.

"You shut your mouth," Keith huffed. "Play D&D without me again, and you'll have to play your character through a Ouija board."

"Yes, dear."

#klanceaumonth #klance #kick #keith x lance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #look i understand that its july and i have absolutely nothing to say for myself #enjoy my shitty fanfic #mine #my writing

11 notes · View notes

mithranqueersmusings · 4 years

Text

Baby, You’re A Rich Man XVIII

Chapter: 18/28

Rating: U

Summary: Ringo could never understand why that group of three boys made him feel so uncomfortable, or why the way George looked at him sent him into a panic. After a chance encounter Ringo discovers the truth and has no clue what to do with the information.

Tags: AU - Gangsters, Slow Burn, Smut, Eventual Romance, Violence, Angst

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Ringo had experienced nerves like no other when Paul had announced that their boss had wanted to see him. He'd managed to overcome his anxiety about the whole kidnapping and witnessing murder somewhat while relaxing in the bath with George, but before his hair even had time to dry he had another obstacle to overcome.

"But what does he want with me?" Ringo asked, sitting on the sofa in one of George's bathrobes and a towel in hand.

"He didn't really say, but he probably just wants to ask you a few questions about the whole thing." Paul made it sound like it was no big deal.

"There's no need to be nervous, love, we'll all be there with you." George said reassuringly, looking sinfully alluring with a loose towel wrapped around his waist.

"And Brian's a softy really." John smiled, he seemed to be taking a lot of pleasure from this whole thing.

"Wouldn't really expect the leader of a crime family to be a 'softy'." Ringo chuckled.

"Well that's only if you're on his good side." Paul explained "He's got a head for business, most of the time, so I wouldn't underestimate him."

"Guess I don't really have a choice, do I?" Ringo smiled weakly.

"Not really, no." John laughed.

"Just get some rest, me and John will wake you up in the morning and we'll head off." Paul had a strange ability to always calm Ringo "So we best be off to bed."

John sighed dramatically like a child before getting up on his feet, finishing his drink with ease and leaving the glass on the table "Before I forget to tell you, Ringo, your drumming tonight was pretty fantastic."

Ringo smiled "Oh, really? Thanks..."

"Don't blame me if I'm not at The Babylon for a while though, I can only stomach so many rescue missions at once." John grinned.

Then Paul and John were heading out of George's flat, saying their happy goodbyes to both George and Ringo before finally it was the two of them alone again. Ringo let out a huff as he sunk further into the sofa, as much as the bath had made him feel a fraction better he was still aching painfully. George leaned back where he sat, pulling up Ringo's legs to lie over his lap.

"How you feeling?" George asked softly, running his fingers over Ringo's bare leg.

"Better than I was, I suppose." Ringo gave a small smile "The whole thing doesn't feel real."

"I know what you mean... I just wish you didn't have to see me like that."

"I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty freaky. I've never seen anybody die before, George, and the first time I do my boyfriend is the one doing the killing."

"Boyfriend?" George wiggled his eyebrows.

"Don't change the subject."

"Fine, fine, sorry."

"But at the end of the day I knew you were involved in this kind of thing, so I can't hold it against you or anything. And its not like you're some rampaging serial killer, as far as I know at least."

"No, of course not. Its not like I enjoy it, none of us do really. But if you're gonna be in a job like this, you've gotta be prepared for somebody to come after you, or someone you care about, and nobody in their right mind would ever let that happen without putting up a fight. Just so happens that it happens quite frequently for someone like me."

"Well it all sounds very normal when you put it like that."

There was a pause, both men smiling at one another.

"If we're done talking about that, can I go back to that 'boyfriend' moment?" George teased, causing Ringo to kick him playfully.

"Oh shut up, it just slipped out!" Ringo felt his cheeks burning slightly.

"Not the first time I've heard you say that." George grinned, he moved Ringo's legs off him gently and crawled up so that they could lie next to one another.

"Gross." Ringo laughed, shifting so that George could lie beside him.

"So am I your boyfriend, then?" His voice was quiet now with their faces so close together.

"Well there isn't anyone else buying me rings, getting me jobs and killing gangsters for me, is there?"

"I bloody hope not."

Ringo paused, looking up at George's beautiful face then smiled "I suppose you must be then."

"About time." George smiled, his tongue pushing past his teeth as he laughed.

"And what was stopping you from asking me, huh?"

"I just didn't wanna rush you, that's all." George took Ringo's hand in his own.

They lay like that for a while, George laying on his side and Ringo on his back. They shared small kisses and held hands, just relaxing into one another as the minutes passed by. Ringo began to feel drowsy, especially with George's body pressed up against his and keeping him warm, so after a while they retired to George's bed. Ringo thought he'd struggle to get to sleep considering the absolute chaos he'd experienced that night but he was asleep within minutes with George's arms wrapped around him. His mind was desperate to debate with itself, whether staying with George was the smartest (or most moral) thing for him to do, but the comfort that his now-boyfriend provided him silenced his rapid thoughts.

The following morning Paul and John knocked on George's door to wake them up, as Paul had said he would. Ringo was the first to wake and sluggishly crawled out of bed to let them in; Paul was bright-eyed and ready to leave but John looked half-awake. Paul hurried into George's room to wake him up, pulling the covers from him and shouting his name loudly before he finally stirred. Ringo found that George could sleep for hours on end and would still never wake up willingly, he wondered if he'd sleep all day if he was allowed to.

"Get up and get dressed you lazy git." Paul chuckled, finding a suit in George's wardrobe and tossing it onto his partially unconscious friend.

George mumbled something in protest but managed to get himself up. Ringo brewed tea for the four of them which they all drank happily but they each refused breakfast. After 10 minutes or so they were all dressed and ready to head out, Ringo was a little embarrassed to be wearing his clothes from last night which were not only bright pink but also incredibly scruffy.

"He won't mind, really." George smiled as he watched Ringo inspecting himself in the mirror "It's better than showing up without a suit, or trying to fit into one of mine."

"Trying to fit?" Ringo scoffed "You calling me fat, George?"

"Course not, but you'll hardly impress Brian in a suit that doesn't fit you."

"But looking like a bruised strawberry will?"

"Just trust me, love, alright?" George planted a kiss on the top of Ringo's head, standing behind him in the mirror.

Ringo sighed and steeled himself for what was to come, he had no idea what to expect but he knew it was going to be a strange experience. The four of them piled into George's car, Ringo sitting beside him with John and Paul in the back, and drove off down the street. Ringo fidgeted in his seat as they drove and every so often George would place his hand on top of Ringo's, trying his best to calm him without taking his eyes off the road. Paul and John sat snug in the backseat, John still waking up as he rested his head on Paul's shoulder. They drove to the outskirts of the city which was littered with grand houses, the likes of which Ringo never thought he'd be setting foot in. George drove up to a tall iron gate which stood between them and a ridiculously lavish house, he rolled down his window to speak into the intercom to announce their arrival. After a minute the gate opened and George parked his car in front of the house, the gates closing behind them and Ringo had a horrible feeling of entrapment. The front door opened and a tall, lean man stepped out to greet them. Paul and John were the first ones out of the car and happily hurried over to greet the man. George gave Ringo's hand a final squeeze.

"Don't be nervous, Ringo. I'll be right there with you." George said softly.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Ringo and George stepped out of the car then, the cleaner air of the country a welcome change to Ringo. They walked over to where Paul and John were already in deep conversation with this man, but he immediately stopped talking when he caught sight of Ringo. Ringo got a better look at the man now, and he could see he had very severe cheekbones and slicked back hair; overall he looked very presentable but wasn't unfriendly in any way.

"So, this must be the man of the hour." The man said, he had an extremely posh accent "So great to finally meet you Ringo, I'm George." He held out his hand and Ringo shook it tentatively.

"Nice to meet you too." Ringo smiled, he could tell immediately that this man was a professional - whatever his job may be.

"Well there's no use in us all standing out in the cold, come on in." He said, walking back into the house and leading the four of them into a lavishly decorated sitting room. "Anyone for a cup of tea?"

"I'm alright, George." Paul said politely, taking a seat on one of the many sofas, the others made noises in agreement.

"I'll just let Brian know you're here, shouldn't be long." He said with another smile, ducking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

"Two Georges? I thought one was bad enough." Ringo said after a silence, causing the four of them to laugh "Who's he then?"

"He's a right legend, George is." John said, helping himself to some of the biscuits that were laid out on the table in front of them.

"He's kind of like our collective dad, if that makes sense." George chuckled "He got us involved in the whole thing years back."

"Even though Brian is the head of it all, George is like our boss. He looks out for us and so forth." Paul explained.

A few minutes passed before the door opened again, George stepped in once more followed by a second man with dark hair and kind eyes, who Ringo could only assume was Brian. He had round features and a gentle smile, quite the opposite of the George stood beside him. Paul stood up when they entered the room, the other three of them following suit.

"Oh sit, sit." The man said, he too had a posh voice, and all of them except Ringo sat back down.

He approached Ringo immediately, a happy look across his face, as he held out his hand for Ringo to shake which he did as professionally as he could manage.

"So you're Ringo, then?" He said "And these are the famous rings?" He turned his hand so that Ringo's was more visible to him so he could inspect the three rings on his fingers.

Ringo chuckled awkwardly, when they'd said he was 'a softy' he certainly wasn't expecting this "And you must be Brian." He said, a grin on his face.

"The very same." Brian said, letting go of Ringo's hand and taking a seat close to them "Now you're naturally wondering why I've asked you here, aren't you?"

"Maybe a little." Ringo smiled.

"Well I want to start off by apologising on my behalf and on behalf of my entire family for what happened last night. The last thing I ever want is innocent people getting mixed up in our business, so I hope you can accept my apology." He leaned back in the chair comfortably, and while he didn't look threatening he had a commanding presence about him.

"No, no, it's fine. Luckily nobody got seriously hurt, well apart from..." Ringo's voice trailed off as his brain flashed the images of the dead bodies into his mind.

"Oh, they're a rotten sort that Chapman lot. Of course we never want anybody to get hurt, but its an unavoidable eventuality sometimes." He smiled warmly "And I don't expect that this is the end of this terrible ordeal, which is the reason why I've asked you here today. You see, I understand that yourself and George have a very close relationship and that's wonderful, of course, but it does unfortunately put you somewhat at risk. In my position there isn't much I can do about it because you aren't employed by me, but that's an error I can easily correct."

Ringo gulped "What do you mean by employed? Because I- I don't want to be rude or anything, but I'm not a very violent person and I don't think I could do the things that these three do."

"No, no, of course not." Brian's smile hadn't faltered "I wouldn't dream of such a thing. There are many areas that I cover, many of which don't involve any violence at all. This is simply a way for me to place you under the protection of our family, and also shows me that I can trust you. No doubt you've learned a lot of sensitive information during your time with George that could be used against us, so you can understand why employing you would be a comfort to me."

"I would never-" Ringo began.

"Don't worry Ringo, I'm not suggesting that you would ever betray George like that, but there are a lot of people out there who would do terrible things to get that information or to get access to you and your influence. All I'm proposing to you today is whether you would like to become a member of this organisation; you will be able to continue your job at The Babylon as normal, but there may be times in which I require your services. Do you understand?" Brian spoke clearly.

"Er, partly, yes. What exactly would I be doing?" Ringo felt like he wasn't understanding through a fault of his own, but he also wondered whether Brian was speaking like this intentionally.

"Well you have your advantages because you're mostly unknown, meaning no offence. There are times in which we might need information gathered, and your occupation as a musician means you may be able to infiltrate spaces that we wouldn't. Certainly your safety will always be considered, I wouldn't dream of getting you hurt like that again. The choice is entirely up to you, but I urge you to see the benefits." Brian crossed one leg over the other.

"So I wouldn't necessarily be doing anything illegal?" Ringo asked.

"Your actions themselves might not be incriminating, but being associated with a crime syndicate is very illegal, I'm afraid."

"Oh..." Ringo's voice trailed off once more and he looked over at George for encouragement but Brian spoke again.

"I don't mean to intrude, Ringo, but I wouldn't use the law strictly as a moral compass. After all, your relationship with George is illegal in this country and do you believe it to be immoral?" Brian's tone changed now.

"No, of course not." Ringo said sternly, unconsciously taking George's hand in his own.

"Precisely my point. We aren't bad people, while the law would tell you otherwise. I had to learn the hard way that the law isn't always on your side, and sometimes to do what's truly right you must break it. Does that help you in any way?"

"I'm just a little hesitant, is all. But you're saying I can carry on with my drumming, and I'd never be doing anything truly dangerous?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Certainly your association with George will still carry as much danger as it had before, but you would now have the protection of the rest of the family."

"Well it all sounds very simple put like that." Ringo chuckled quietly.

"It's a job opportunity at the end of the day, granted its an unusual one. You would be handsomely rewarded for your services, of course, and you'd never be obliged to do anything you didn't want to. So what do you say?" Brian's gaze hadn't moved from Ringo this entire time but it didn't scare Ringo, if anything it comforted him.

"I'll do it." Ringo said plainly, he felt George grip his hand tighter upon his words and he saw John grinning out of the corner of his eye.

"Excellent! You won't regret it, Ringo, I promise you that." Brian sprung up from his chair now joyfully "Now, I'll place you under the care of the lovely George Martin, so if you have any issues or questions please direct them to him."

"All I ask is that you don't call me in the middle of the night because you're too drunk to drive home." George said playfully, passing a stern glare to John "I'm not a taxi service, am I boys?"

"No." The three others said in unison which made Ringo and Brian laugh.

"Right, well I best be getting back to business. This whole Chapman mess is very time-consuming, as I'm sure you can imagine. Now you boys need to get home and get some rest, alright?" Brian looked at them all with a smile on his face then turned back to Ringo "In a couple of days or so we should have some accommodation sorted for you, we'll let you know when it's ready."

"Accommodation?" Ringo asked dumbfounded.

"Of course." Brian laughed "We can't have you living too far away now, can we?" He turned to George who was standing by the window "There's an unoccupied flat on the boys' floor isn't there, George?"

"As far I'm aware, yes." George said, he was holding his hands behind his back.

"Perfect! Well I'll make the arrangements at some point today." Brian shook Ringo's hand again "It's been grand meeting you, I'm sorry it has to be so brief."

He started heading out of the room then, George Martin opening the door for him, but he paused before vanishing entirely and called out.

"Welcome to the family, Ringo." He said with a laugh before both himself and George walked out of the room.

As soon as the door was closed, John pounced onto Ringo from the opposite sofa laughing. Paul and George soon joined in on this strange combination of wrestling and hugging.

"Welcome to the family Ringo!" The three of them shouted in chorus, laughing all the while.

The whole thing still felt like a strange dream; two months ago if Ringo could somehow look into the future and saw himself in a bright, pink suit in a lavish house being almost suffocated by three gay gangsters he would've been sure he was going crazy. Yet here he was, in that exact situation, feeling like this life couldn't be going in a better direction.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #george harrison/ringo starr #ringo starr/george harrison #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #george harrisonxringo starr #starrison

9 notes · View notes

ranposlittle · 4 years

Note

Can I get a matchup pls? 🌸 (I'm a Pisces, INFP, and type 4? idk my harry potter house ;-;) I'm 21 year old, 5'7" tall woman, that is Bi with a slight preference for guys. I have short wavy/curly hair with bangs and dark brown eyes (and glasses!). I'm a bit shy and sensitive. I enjoy playing video games, watching anime, listening to music, and reading. I'm a bit of a romantic, a bit lazy and sometimes awkward. It takes me a while to open up to others as well! I hope this is enough! Thank u!

I ship you with...

☠️ Dazai Osamu ☠️

As a true Pisces, INFP and a Type 4, you're obviously drawn to Dazai and he's obviously drawn to you, like a moth to a flame.

You're a healer and Dazai is the perfect person for you. You met him and in an instant you knew, the man is awfully broken. Whether you're aware of it or not, all you want to do is to fix him. You want to understand all of his pain and make everything alright. That is because you know how it feels. You are very familiar to the harshness of the world and because of your emphatic nature, you don't wish for anybody else to experience it if you can help it. Pisces are known to be the most sensitive of all the zodiac signs and this makes you very good in understanding people, even enigmatic ones like Dazai.

Despite being a practical and logical person, Dazai is highly intuitive too. Like you, he can also see through people like they're transparent. It only took him a few hours to know what kind of person you are. Although both of you are the ones who don't open up easily and reserve your most authentic thoughts and feelings to people you know very well, the instant connection you felt for each other allowed you to have a deeper conversation. There was some small talk in the beginning, of course. You were shy and polite and Dazai had to lead the discussion but it's not like he minds. He knew how to steer the topics so he'll get to find out things about you that he's curious about. You didn't even notice that you're sharing more information about yourself than you normally do with people you just met. Dazai just made you feel comfortable and safe. Whatever the topic is, he always listens to what you have to say and shares his thoughts as well; an open and supportive exchange of ideas.

Dazai's comedic side was irresistible to you, too. His eccentric humour and odd jokes never fail to make you laugh. You easily got along with him because of his offbeat personality, he's a curious individual and you love it. You value his authenticity and you often get lost in a good conversation with him as he tells you strange stories and talk about things that excites you; anime, movies, books and music. He's pretty knowledgeable about all of them even if you didn't really thought he would be. You even went into an arcade where you spend hours on end playing different games and Dazai was just surprisingly good at it. You enjoy every minute spent with him as your perspective of his personality widen and you explore the universe that's Dazai's mind.

The more you delved into his world, the more you understood that Dazai has a part of himself that goes deeper, a part of him that's hidden away in the dark. You can feel it, you can see it on his eyes and you weren't entirely shock when you heard about Dazai's past. You're accepting and nonjudgmental so it wasn't hard for Dazai to feel secure in telling you his truth, if anything, he thinks you deserve to know. You're so compassionate and caring towards him and he just know that you'll understand. You wrapped him in a warm embrace after he shared that part of himself with you and then, you thanked him for telling you and that you're sorry that it happened to him. You're sorry that the world made him suffer in such a young age and you're sorry that you can't do anything about it. If only you could go back in time and protect him from everything, you would. You hugged him tighter as you wish that your warmth will somehow glue his broken pieces back together. Dazai melted in to your arms and felt flowers grew on an empty part of his being.

Although Dazai greatly appreciates your affection and love, he knows you'll want to take on all of his problems for him once you knew about it. That's just how you are. He wouldn't allow you to, though. Dazai assures you that he can handle it, flexing his arms to show you how strong he is. You smiled but the worried look on your eyes is still there so he turned a bit more serious to let you know that those experiences he had that messed him up is also the same reason why he's strong now. Without those things happening to him, he wouldn't have found a reason for his existence and he wouldn't have found you. Dazai assured you that he's definitely out of the dark now and that if ever he trips and would be in need of your sensual healing, he'll let you know. You hit his shoulder lightly for making a joke in the middle of a serious topic before he hugged you, thanking you for your love and promising you that he's okay.

What Dazai really love about you is your inner strength. Though you maybe timid and soft, you're not weak. When boundaries are crossed, you're not afraid to stand up for yourself and especially for the people that you love. You're also unwavering with your beliefs and values. You decide for yourself what seems right and doesn't let outside opinions change your views if it doesn't resonate with you. Individualism is important to you and that often leads you to a lonely road but as long as you stay true to yourself, it doesn't really matter. You're constantly looking for ways to improve yourself and cheer on other's personal growth. Dazai's heart just want to overflow with adoration whenever he sees this side of you. How someone as gentle as you can also be so strong is a motivation for him to keep fighting for the things that matters to him. You're just such a beacon of light in Dazai's dim life.

Overall, I think you'll be the perfect blend together because Dazai, despite his bitter past, can be a healthy partner for you. He's strong and positive enough to not let you lose your identity as you take care of him. He'll constantly encourage you to take more care of yourself above anyone else. His weird behavior also adds a lot of fun in the relationship and you can spend your lazy days on the couch, playing video games and just messing around with each other. When Dazai sees you getting pouty whenever you lose a round though, he'll pull some act to actually let you win. He'll just laugh and praise you when you rub it on his face. Sometimes, he'll even steal your glasses and wear them when he wants you to pay attention to him. He'll run around making girlish giggles as you chase him down, screaming at him that you can't see. He'll return them after you've given him enough attention, don't worry. You'll have tons of fun together all the while having a very intimate and deep relationship. One moment you're being silly like children, the next you're cuddled up outside and stargazing while Dazai run his fingers on the waves of your hair. You'll be one of those couples that can just feel the other even if you're miles away. And even if Dazai isn't as into mysticism as you probably are, he also believes that you're meant to be. Destiny or some other unseen force brought you together for a good reason and it's to make life more magical for the both of you. He's not sure yet if he truly believes in heaven but being with you convinces him a little bit more that it's probably true.

***

Thank you for dropping by, anon! You know what, anon, I think we'll get along. I'm an INFP too and I also have Pisces in me bcos I'm a cusp. That's probably why I get a bit carried away and made this a bit too long hehe anyways, I hope this will make you happy and stay awesome! Here's a song from Dazai to youuu~ (･ω･)つ

#osamu dazai #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #bad dazai #bungou stray dogs scenarios #bungou stray dogs imagine #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd scenarios #bsd hcs #bsd imagines #bsd headcanons #matchup #bsd matchup #dazaimw

8 notes · View notes

o-dasaku · 5 years

Note

i was wondering if you could explain the descriptions on your fgc posts and how they relate to the characters? i'm v interested

oooo for sure

don’t you (forget about me) > don’t you try and pretend, it’s my feeling we’ll win in the end.

this one’s kind of obvious, the back half of the lyric is my brot3 tag for blamtina - they’re altogether hopeful kids that go through some (a lot of) shitty times. they’ll come out on top in the end, they’re sure of it.

here comes the sun > here comes the sun and i say, it’s all right.

it’s a metaphor!!!!!!!! dani’s the sun, you fools!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t want to say that santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany, but santana spent all of s4 hung up on brittany. i have no doubt she hooked up with her fair share of beautiful ladies, but she definitely didn’t date - i don’t think it’s because she was waiting for brittany to dump sam (okay she was, but not so they could be together again), i think she genuinely just didn’t feel super comfortable with it - she never really dated brittany, they were best friends and then they were girlfriends too and santana doesn’t want to leap into that minefield for the first time with just anybody.

enter: daniella perea, struggling musician who picks up a job at spotlight to help pay the bills and gets along with everybody, which is fucking rare because 90% of that diner’s staff are broadway divas in waiting (and santana) so people take notice and santana doesn’t want to like her, but she does. she really does.

so moving on from britt is hard and it’s scary, but it’s alright. she has dani. they’ll figure it out.

creep > i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.

i almost picked like twenty different lyrics here because it’s a Very Them song, but i feel like this speaks very well to their characters: this lyric is rachel in a nutshell, she doesn’t just want to the best, she wants to be perfect. it speaks to brody because it’s the antithesis to him: he doesn’t care to be perfect, he just wants to be himself (who, lucky him, happens to be very talented).

sidenote: i think brochel really work on that level, rachel challenges brody to want to be better while brody can remind rachel that being less than perfect is perfectly okay. i’m still sad about how they treated him.

never can say goodbye > though i try and try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show.

listen, i hate to draw riverdale/glee comparisons, but quinn’s veronica lodge. you want fire, cheryl bombshell? sorry, but my speciality’s ice. quinn wants to be cold, wants to be this untouchable ice queen but-

she just isn’t (just like veronica, funnily enough). quinn fabray feels so much and isn’t that just the worst? i don’t think quinn wears her heart on her sleeve the way so many characters on this show do, but she feels things very strongly, much to her own annoyance. whether or not the world sees isn’t really up to her either, as much as she wishes it was.

(on the riverglee comparisons: santana is cheryl, puck is reggie and sam is archie. i know people cast finn as archie but ehhhh. i don’t have anything super solid on anyone else, but rachel is probably betty and kurt is probably kevin (i’m not saying that because they’re both gay, more “i exist solely to prop up betty/rachel when needed”). jbi is evelyn from the farm and i will hear No Arguments on that.)

being alive > i’ll always be there as frightened as you to help us survive being alive.

i’ll be honest, there is an infinitely more kurt line in this song (someone to crowd you with love/someone to force you to care/someone to make you come through) but um, this is literally one of my top 3 musical theatre songs and that lyric is one of my absolute favorite lyrics ever, musicals or otherwise.

but this line does relate to kurt (and blaine, i guess- this song is clearly meant to implicate him- for the first time, i really know what it means) well enough. i know there’s a fuckton of kurt and death meta but i don’t claim to know him well enough to make sense of any of it so we’ll look at this very shallowly - i think kurt experiences life quite differently to the normal person, and we can owe that to his mother’s death or the long term bullying or whatever tickles your pickle, but he does seem a little... removed, i think. i don’t think he’s afraid to be alive, but i do think he has a long list of reservations about being alive. i think that’s where blaine generally works for him, because blaine is so alive - even if he’s scared to death about it (see: sadie hawkins, the slushie incident, literal depression), sometimes.

i’m not here to shit on any ships, but i do wish i shipped klaine more. oh well. i’ll always have s2.

i feel pretty/unpretty > i was told i was beautiful, what does that mean to you?

i know this is a quinn line (and a very good one at that), but i find it interesting when i apply it to both of the girls. quinn and rachel are both very beautiful, though in clearly different ways - and they both have trouble believing that. or more accurately, quinn finds herself beautiful but not her self.

anyway. i wonder if quinn’s parents ever called her beautiful, before she was quinn. they seem incredibly shallow, even if judy develops away from that - i have a headcanon that lucy was very close with their pastor (not...in a creepy way jdsdlaks) and he was pretty much the only positive interaction she had with any elders until after quinn was a thing but ANYWAY he always told lucy that she was a beautiful person but only tells quinn that she looks lovely. that informs a lot of this performance (especially this line) for me. anyway. whatever.

so to rachel: her brief interactions with her fathers make me think that she grew up being told she was beautiful quite often, but then her peers are always telling her differently - i have no doubt that places more esteem in her father’s opinions, but i’m sure that being told two different things would confuse the fuck out of a kid. quinn was likely spearheading the “crazy berry is ugly” craze in their freshman year, so. i don’t know. the what does that mean to you? is an interesting question for that line of thought.

being good won’t be good enough > i’ll be the best or i’ll be nothing at all.

please, she said emphatically.

everytime > every time i try to fly, i fall; without my wings, i feel so small.

listen. what a marley mood.

it’s all coming back to me now > there were things i’d never do again, but then they’d always seemed right.

rachel Fucks Up A Lot. we been knew. i do think she learns from a lot of her fuck-ups (not all, see: leaving nd for cabaret and then leaving funny girl for that’s so rachel), but she did genuinely think she was doing the right thing a lot of the time (see: telling finn about drizzle’s true paternity and robbing puck and quinn of that opportunity) and i don’t think she’d change much, if she had another chance - she just wouldn’t go repeating the bare majority of fuck ups.

hand in my pocket/i feel the earth move > and what it comes down to, my friends, is that everything’s just fine, fine, fine.

listen, considering this is their proposal song, i would’ve hoped for something a bit more meaningful. but i do think that there is something to the simplicity of this song, - brittany and santana are happy. they have no issues this season (outside of britt’s bridezilla tendencies) and as much as they’ve always been the type to get their feelings out via song (see: landslide, songbird, mine), they’re definitely at a point where they can just. talk about their feelings.

their song is simple because they are too, finally. what it all comes down to? they’re fine, fine, fine. :P

human nature > see that girl? she knows i’m watching, she likes the way i stare.

another song i almost picked like, five different lyrics for lmao. while the others spoke nicely to characters, this lyric is quite indicative of their mid-s3 relationship (mercy is still w shane, sam’s trying to push in on that) and uh, i think this is an unpopular opinion. so. hang tight, kids.

while mercedes and sam were certainly attracted to one another, i think there’s a few more things at play here: sam likes being in a relationship, knows that he and mercedes could be good together and he’s trying to recapture being sixteen again, so dating the girl he’d been embarking on something with is a pretty great way to do that. mercedes? i think she likes the attention, likes actually being noticed. she likes the way he stares, basically. (i’m dropping lyrics into explanations now, sue me.)

crazy/u drive me crazy (you guys are all on notice for letting this flop, btw) > tell me i’m not in the blue, that i’m not wasting my feelings on you.

marley’s spent all episode being warned against jake, but i think it’s interesting that she’s basically seeking him out here and asking are they right? his response leaves something to be desired (tell me i’m the only one you’ll see) but at least it’s a conversation they’re having? it does speak well to marley for the rest of the time she’s on the show - she’s best when talking her issues/concerns out (see: her eating disorder v her wanting to stay abstinent, neither end well for her but she seems more at peace with the latter) while jake is. jake.

(i love jake always!!!!!!!!!!)

and finally, need you now > guess i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

i changed this like, twenty times. the alternative was their ship tag (and i wonder if i ever cross your mind/for me it happens all the time), but i think this speaks a lot more strongly for their characters than that does to their relationship. puck and rachel are both very all-or-nothing characters, but 99% of the time they’re going to pick all. it fucks them over a lot of the time, but i don’t think they regret it much.

#this is. so long #i might update it as new ones are posted but WHO KNOWS #never ask me things i ramble too much #answered #Anonymous

1 note · View note

rpchive · 6 years

Text

Ninety Eighth Encounter-- All Fun, Possible Profit

see, Maya has a fun side...sorta?

Maya is in the console room with Zenith, Nydins, and Rio. Zenith seems a bit sheepish around her still.

Zenith: ...If we're gonna be meeting up again, you'd better not bring any guns this time!

Maya: Oh, there won't be any weapons. Just a table and an empty bottle. Surely you can handle that. Collin pokes his head into the console room. "Uh, did I just hear Maya suggest playing 'spin the bottle'?" Maya: Well, yes and no...look, just meet me in the practice room...with everybody again. I'll explain when we're all together. Collin: Alright, but everyone's going to be a little gunshy after the last time we did this. Quite literally, in my case at least. Maya: Feel free to check me at the door, if that's the case. Hell, I'll play nude if you want.

Rio: P-please don't! Collin: Y-Yeah, we're good there. I'll see you guys in a little bit then. Maya heads for the room along with Nydins and Rio. Gradually everyone is made aware of another meeting and files back in to the training room, although Fawkes seems far more on alert this time around. Maya and the others are there; a large, circular table in the room along with a singular, empty glass bottle just within arms reach.

Maya: So, I don't need to explain Spin the Bottle to anyone, right? But we won't be playing truth or dare, or kissing, or anything like that. Anyone can spin the bottle, but whoever it points to has to say something personal. Something about themself; somethin' they've been thinking...stuff like that. Figured I should lighten up on you guys a little...for now, anyway. Daedalus: What, team building exercises? I hadn't expected something so... juvenile from the person who pulled a gun on us the last time we gathered up. Maya: But you still don't know anything about yourselves, do you? Oh, but you can still lie. It doesn't matter what you say, but everyone has to say something about themself. Collin: I... guess we can manage that. Uh, who's going first? Maya: Whoever wants to. This is all for you guys, after all. Daedalus: Alright, fine, I'll get this thing moving then.

He strides up to the table and casually spins the bottle around. The bottle slowly stops on Demo, who leans back in her chair and sighs. "My birds aren't the only things that can hide what they really look like, even if you manage to see what I look like under this, it won't be totally right. So I don't really have an animal form like Jay does..."

canon explanation for how Demo...probably isn’t actually a seahorse, but she also probably said that a little to uhh...cover up that her True Form is kind of embarrassing, as if being a bunny isn’t

Grabbing the bottle, Demo spins it, and it lands on Jay.

alienrabitt: ...I, uh...I'm sorry about...I mean...

Maya: Pass the bottle. You can try again later...

Jay wordlessly puts the bottle back in the middle of the table. Fawkes steps forward and takes hold of the bottle. His hand twists around at the wrist and spins the bottle like a top. The bottle stops on Maya, who looks surprised for a moment. Leaning forward, she removes the toothpick she's been chewing on. "...Back in Lobotomy; I had a coworker who was with me for 3 months who was about my age. She transferred to a new department, and was dead in 3 days. She was my first employee when I became a manager. I still have nightmares about the corpse."

if Nydins ever grabs her or she winds up having a breakdown or something, this will be Very Relevant

Casually, she spins the bottle, and it lands on Collin. Maya returns the toothpick and leans back into her chair. Collin: ... Jesus, I had to follow that up, huh? Maya: Hey, you can spin again if you're chicken. Collin: It's not that, it's... Nevermind, uh...

He messes with his hair for a few seconds before he continues. "... I try to keep my leg on as often as possible because something about it stops this awful pain I get where my leg used to be." XL: That sounds like more than phantom limbs...is something going on again? Collin: I don't think so? It's not like it's constant, or always painful. Honestly the pain is almost preferable over it itching. Have you tried scratching a foot that you don't have? XL: No, only making expressions without a face. But I'm glad something isn't wrong again...

Demo: Yeah, Jay'd probably lose his other arm or something freaking out. Maya: Back to the bottle, please? Collin: Oh, right, sorry.

He grabs the bottle and spins it again. The bottle stops on Zenith, who glances away for a moment, and stares at the table the entire time they respond. "I, uhh...I don't really remember who I used to be all that much yet, but I still miss our mom a little...wherever she is..."

that’s okay, you’ll get over it :)

Clair gets quiet for a minute.

Zenith spins the bottle, which lands back on Demo.

Demo: Seriously? Fine. I don't have any of the weird allergies Jay had, so I just...intentionally eat stuff I know he can't, because he can't.

alienrabitt: Dude, what the hell?

Demo: Hey, you can't have it, why shouldn't I? Daedalus: Hey, someone's gotta eat that stuff, right? Demo spins the bottle, which points towards Daedalus. Daedalus: Ah hell, guess it had to happen at some point. Alright, uh... I'm almost done with my first piece of armor. That work? Maya: That...doesn't have much to do with you yourself. Daedalus: Says a lot if you think about it for a second. But fine, how about... I stole a whole bunch of classic rock CDs from the music room because so far it's helped me work the best. Silky: Is it really stealing if anybody can use them? Daedalus: Sheesh, you guys are so pedantic sometimes. Silky: I'm just saying, it's nobody's personal property. Daedalus: Whatever. That's where they are, if you're looking for them. Now then...

He quickly steps up and gives the bottle another spin. The bottle lands on Rio, who jumps slightly in surprise. "U-um, there's not much else to know about me! I don't know anything you guys don't either."

Maya: It's true; she can't say much else. Collin: Really? Not even like a favorite foo- okay well food's a bad example but you know what I mean.

cannocly they can eat

Rio: I, uhh...I like cats? Collin: Works for me.

Fawkes: I'm surprised we don't have any sort of pets on the IT, now that I think about it. alienrabitt: The IT theoretically could make animals, but...I wouldn't suggest it. Stuff made by the green sun...

Demo: Well, it might wind up like me, huh?

alienrabitt: ...Or worse. Daedalus: No alien Frankenstein pets, got it. Nervously, Rio spins the bottle, which lands on Fawkes. Fawkes: Hmm... Despite all of my recent modifications to my systems, I still feel slightly at a loss for a primary directive. Maya: But you're still functioning, huh? Fawkes: Of course. My body hasn't encountered any severe issues and no fatal exceptions have occurred in my systems. I just cannot shake the feeling that I should be doing something... more. Maya: Just don't try to become a god or something; wouldn't wanna break anyone's toy soldiers... Fawkes: Considering I can't even enter certain magical areas, I find that a little out of my reach. Maya: Magic...I hate that stuff. Didn't matter what kind of abnormality I was dealing with; the magic ones were always the worst. Hopefully you guys can change that... Fawkes: Hopefully indeed. At any rate...

He grabs the bottle and gives it another hefty spin. The bottle stops for a moment; anyone paying enough attention can see it stop at Nydins, but as she stammers nervously, failing to come up with anything to say, the bottle moves slightly to point to Azreldeh, who casually points out that the bottle hadn't even landed on Nydins and that she shouldn't worry about it so much.

Nydins: ...O-oh! I guess it didn't, haha! Alright, um, I guess it's on you, huh?

Azreldeh: Hmm...I've never had sex before. Well, not in my own body, anyway.

Firefly: Why the hell would you open with that?!

Azreldeh: Why not? We're all adults, right? Collin: Well yeah, but that's a little much to start out with, don't you think? Azreldeh: Well, if I'm too much for you to handle, maybe you just need a little more experience~.

alienrabitt: N-no way!! Get your own boyfriend!

Azreldeh: Sharing is caring, you know~.

Firefly: I wish you'd share less...!

the hot mess from hell

Collin: Good lord, just spin the bottle please... Rolling her eyes, Azreldeh spins the bottle, which lands on the pantheon. Ezorius: Oh, uh, one moment.

She seems to focus somewhere else for a moment and then comes back a second later. "Alright, since I'm already out here, um... I can play three instruments?" Maya: That's...not really personal... Ezorius fidgets for a second as she glances around at the floor before glancing back up. "I... get really jumpy if someone grabs me unexpectedly. It can scare me really easily, truth be told." Maya: ...Alright, that works. Next. Ezorius steps up and spins the bottle before shuffling back and letting Tellus swap out. The bottle stops on XL, who shrugs. "...When I dropped out of school for the war, Cosmia was the one working with Almiet. After she died, I blamed Almiet for years, but never said anything to her face. She hasn't called me out on it, but I'm pretty sure she knows..."

Rio: B-but you've let go since then, right?

XL: ...I guess. I'm not worried about revenge and avenging anymore...I've got more important things to worry about these days.

Demo: Things, or people?

XL: Bit of both. We all should. Leaning forward, XL spins the bottle, which lands on Clair.

Clair: S-seriously? ...Well, I guess I was gonna have to have a turn eventually. Um...ugh. You want something personal...I...we never went to any sort of public school. Our dad was always important to society for some reason or another, so we never really got to make any friends or anything outside of the Operation...

Rio: But you have us now!

Clair: ...Yeah...

Clair spins the bottle, which lands on Silky.

Silky: ...I don't miss being a celebrity in the slightest. I'm glad nobody recognizes me anymore.

She spins the bottle without waiting for input, and the bottle points back to Maya.

Maya: ...When I made my first suit, I didn't understand the difference between it and my normal clothes. I almost died just a few hours later. Nobody scolded me, nobody told me the difference; they just stopped the bleeding and told me I'd be back on the floor by tomorrow. They didn't give me my old suit back. Collin: Jesus Christ, how much worse could that place get? Maya: ...Well, I think everyone's said a little about themselves at this point. Unless you want to keep going...

Demo: You're avoiding the question.

Maya: And Jay never answered, but we're skirting that too, aren't we? Daedalus: And hey, don't forget Nydins either. So, we doing a lightning round or are we calling it here? Nydins: ...I can't see the future all the time; only when someone's actively doing something. When someone deliberately chooses to do something that would cause someone else to feel grief in any way, I can see the immediate reaction, or the highest point, but not the end result. So I don't tell you guys what I see most of the time; it doesn't always help. Daedalus: .... So your future vision literally only goes ahead by a few seconds? Nydins: N-not really! It's more random than that. It could be a few seconds; it could be hours later; sometimes even longer than that! It's wild, and unpredictable; all I know is what will cause grief, and who will be involved!

Maya: But that's still something to go off of. That helps somebody.

Nydins: ...Some things are unpreventable, though. Fixed points with so much weight that only a god could change them...and none have. Those points I can see at any given moment, but without context, I don't know when they could happen. Fawkes: Even still, we could at least plan around such an event so that we could have a plan of action after the fact, if not maybe even before. Nydins: ...Zenith, do you know where your mother is?

Zenith: My...huh? N-no, she's dead...

Nydins: She's not. I've seen her for weeks now. With you.

Clair: Th-that's impossible! After what she went through--...!!

Maya: And what, exactly, happened to her?

Clair: That's none of your business!!

Nydins: It becomes our business when it's going to hurt us; tell us what she is! I know she isn't dead, and I know she wants Zenith; why?!

Clair: How should I know?! We all thought she was dead after our father got desperate and started dragging in those...those things from Kujaar!!

Karumet: HE DID WHAT?!

Clair: M-mother was going to be a Zenith first; but when her body wasn't responding to human souls, Oz decided he needed to put something different in; but he wouldn't get anywhere with animals; and he couldn't get into the city; all he could do was use the things outside!

Karumet: Those things are shalvenn!! They're unstable; they...!! You're father was an idiot! No human could survive that!

Zenith: ...But a human with dozens of kleivenn souls?

Karumet: ...You bastards...you human bastards never learn a damned thing!! Collin: Okay okay, hang on a second. Nydins, does your vision give you any clue about when she shows up?

unsurprisingly, experimenting on shalvenn is...incredibly disrespectful

Nydins: She's not on the IT; I haven't seen anyone else with her besides Zenith. I don't know what happens to either of them... Collin: Damn, that really doesn't give us much huh? Alright, so how do we prepare for a Zenith but with shalvenn instead of humans? Karumet: She would have to have an amalgamated oracle...all the souls would be bound to it regardless, but...with that many kleivenn... Daedalus: Horribly out of control? Unfathomably powerful? Seriously angry at everything in existence? I'm just guessing at traits here, stop me if I'm right. Karumet: She could be capable of anything. We wouldn't be able to predict what she could do...

Maya: But that doesn't really matter so long as we can get close to her. Hell, we might not even need that!

Karumet: What are you suggesting...?

Maya: Speedwell poison. The one thing that can kill all of you regardless.

Rio: W-we can't keep something like that here!

Maya: Why not? I did. Not for long, but your ship still made it. Just make sure whoever has it is someone you trust completely. Daedalus: Well, I'm automatically out of the running. Anyone wanna volunteer for the kleivenn killing dart gun duty or however you guys plan on using that stuff? alienrabitt: ...Give it to Fawkes.

Maya: ...Why him?

alienrabitt: He's the only one who could do it. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, right? Even if she's got kleivenn magic, she can't do anything he won't be able to handle somehow. Anyone else could be taken out or stopped. Fawkes: A grim way of justifying it, but one I can't argue with. Is there a specific way I should use it? Karumet: ...No. So long as it winds up in her body by some means, she'll die. Fawkes: Then in that case, I'll begin developing a system for it as soon as I have it. I must admit, I don't take pride in manufacturing something like this, especially given my background. Given the situation however, it seems I have to play my part. Maya: So you're giving him the capability of killing kleivenn, even though you're allowed into Kujaar? Bold move.

alienrabitt: Don't say that like he'd just open fire on whoever he wanted!

Maya: Maybe not, but kleivenn are born from human wishes, right? So what's saying one couldn't adapt for technology? Fawkes: So you're concerned that a kleivenn might be immune to artificial weapons, or that it might be able to stop me somehow? Maya: I'm saying that the right kleivenn could use you against all of Kujaar. Fawkes: I would sooner self-destruct. Besides, whatever weapon I wind up making will not have an infinite supply. I don't intend to give myself the ability to manufacture speedwell. Maya: Good call. You're the only person here I couldn't get a read on for the life of me, but I think Jay's trust in you is justified. Fawkes: I try my best. He has known me just as long as Collin, essentially. Maya: Right, well then, I think everybody knows what they're doing now. Class dismissed.

Maya analyzes just about everything anyone does on the off chance that it could majorly backfire

------------------ Collin is sitting at a desk in his bedroom, leaning back in the chair. His gaze seems to go through the desk and off into nowhere as he becomes further lost in thought. Coming in from the hallway, Jay glances around the room.

"Zenith's not in here either? Jeez, where'd they go?" Collin snaps out of his thoughts and perks up slightly before turning in Jay's direction. "Huh? Oh, uh, I'm not sure either. Maybe they're in Clair's room?" alienrabitt: What're you doing all by yourself anyway? Staring at the desk won't do much to anything on it; but if you stare long enough, the IT might make it translucent. Collin: Not too much. I just keep thinking about Clair and Zenith's mom. I mean, she's a bunch of shalvenn fused together now, right? And if just one of those was strong enough to make you lose it and throw Demo and I into a desert after just being near it, imagine what fighting multiple would be like... alienrabitt: That...that wasn't me, but also, the fact that the kleivenn was shalvenn wouldn't give it the ability to do what it did, either. It was already capable of doing things to people; becoming shalvenn just made the things it did...worse.

like I’ve said, it wasn’t capable of that because it was a shalvenn, it was capable of what it did because becoming shalvenn altered its abilities. not all shalvenn would mess with somebody like that, most might not even be capable of something similar

not every saa can become a hermes either, but you know that :p

Collin: That was Tori that whole time? They didn't say anything when they called you Jay, so I just sort of figured... Well, anyway, that doesn't really change my point, does it? A bunch of crazy powers made crazier doesn't sound like the best of times. alienrabitt: Maybe not, but we can't really tell what she's capable of from here anyway. Besides, the point of making speedwell is so we won't have to give her the chance to use whatever abilities she has. Collin: Well, I hope it works out that way. I guess I just don't like all the unknowns about this whole thing. I mean, how do you even get your hands on that many shalvenn without anyone noticing? It's not like they're just wandering around everywhere to be yanked off the street. alienrabitt: Kujaar is surrounded by shalvenn left from the war, but that's the only place I could think of. Collin: True, but Nine could detect us from anywhere around there. How do you steal a bunch of those things from right underneath a kleivenn god's nose? alienrabitt: I don't think she would've gone anywhere near that sword. And she left those shalvenn there specifically to keep away nosey humans. Collin: I mean, that makes sense, but would Nine really be okay with someone just loading up shalvenn into a cart and hauling them off to God knows where? alienrabitt: I'm not even sure she knows about this; Karumet probably knows more than I do about them.

Collin: Think we should go bug her about it, then? alienrabitt: If you really wanna know more about Kujaar, she's the only one we could ask. Collin: Worth a shot. Beats staring at the desk thinking about what-ifs, at least. Jay and Collin leave their room and find Karumet and Zenith in Clair's room instead.

Karumet: ...I just don't know how anyone could get a sword like that. I mean, I have theories; but without seeing who it came from originally... Collin: Sorry, are we interrupting something? Zenith: We're just trying to figure out what's going on. Collin: Sounds like we're on the same page, then. So you guys are talking about that weird sword thing that Clair had? Clair: The stagblade, yeah.

Karumet: We still don't know who handed it off to Oz, or what he was looking for...

Clair: Well...I kind of do, but it's been so long... Daedalus' face suddenly pops in from the door way. "Time for a trip down memory lane, huh- Wow that's more people than I thought would be here." Clair: W-well at first it was just three of us...

Zenith: So what do you know about the sword?

Clair: Um, I was with dad when he got it...the woman who handed it to him had an arm like Jay's.

Karumet: ...You mean they were injured?

Clair: No, it was black and blue, just like that...

Zenith: N-no way! That doesn't just happen!

Karumet: You're right; we don't even know what really caused it to look like that... Daedalus: I feel like I'm missing something. What's so weird about having two colors exactly? Karumet: The color of a kleivenn's magic is representative of their self, while the color of their heart represents the wish of the person who commands them. But Jay's arm isn't either of those colors; and black is a color our magic simply can't become...

alienrabitt: But it wasn't always magic; it was...something physical, sort of. Not really rock, but something like it... Collin: Oh, so you're saying it was like when Jay's arm had that weird shell thing over it? Clair: I guess so... Daedalus: Alright, so impossible colors and impossible conditions. Sounds pretty identifiable at least. Is that all you remember about that little rendezvous? Clair: She told him to look for the spies.

Karumet: ...Of course. Both humans and kleivenn were killing off humans and replacing them with soldiers in order to sway things into their favor; but many kleivenn who took those roles became lost in the lie, and forgot who they truly were. Only one thing could reveal them, but whoever this was didn't seem to care for that... Daedalus: And what would the "one thing" be? Karumet: The Starlit Song. We made it as an identifier; any kleivenn in hiding could sing it, and any other kleivenn would know what it was. Unless the humans stole that from us too, we were the only ones who knew about it during the war.

the hardest part about inventing a plot important song is...lyrics

Collin: This is the first I'm hearing of it, at least. But this kleivenn just wanted Oz to hunt down other kleivenn? That seems a little counter-productive, doesn't it? Karumet: No. With Thallion seeking out the kleivenn being created after the war; and Oz weeding out spies; all that would be left to destroy is Kujaar, then themself.

Zenith: Do you think they were one of those spies too? Karumet: Sounds possible. Maybe they realized what was happening after we lost, and decided they needed to finish the job. Maybe they don't realize the war is over. Collin: That seems to be a pretty common thing, doesn't it? I don't get why it's so hard to get everyone to stop fighting. Karumet: These three were on the same side; but why? Even the kleivenn that was with Lana...something isn't right. Something bigger is happening here, and we just aren't seeing it yet. Daedalus: Oh boy, a new faction to have to tangle with, huh? Karumet: I don't even know...until we find the kleivenn that have Oz this sword, we won't know anything. We need to catch them alive...

Clair: We-- we can't just interrogate somebody!!

Karumet: They are killing us by the thousands; I can, and I will. Daedalus: Besides, we're talking about the kleivenn that gave your dad a soul stealing sword. "Good people" don't swing around shit like that, so it's not like we're just yanking some innocent schmuck into the hotseat. Clair: I just...I didn't want it to come to something like this.

Zenith: It's not your fault. You can't stop bad people from doing bad things. All you can do is hope you can stop them from continuing to do those things. Collin: It's all about making things as good as we can, and I think it's safe to say that whoever this kleivenn is does not share that sentiment. Karumet: Still, if the weapon is kleivenn made...I think I might know where it came from, assuming they haven't moved to Kujaar. Collin: Wait, really? Karumet: Yes. Though all kleivenn are capable of summoning weaponry, doing so would give the spies away, so a kleivenn began to make weaponry more similar to what humans make for them. Daedalus: A singular kleivenn made weapons for an entire network of spies? Either you didn't have a lot of spies or that kleivenn worked some serious overtime. Karumet: You underestimate the abilities of maryein kleivenn. Daedalus: ... I'll pretend that means something to me.

He hums in fake understanding and nods sagely. Karumet: ...Kleivenn born from a different sort of wish. Saa are born from the desires of others; maryein are born from talents. Collin: So the kleivenn is like... the essence of weaponsmithing or something? Karumet: Yes, exactly! Maryein exist to do one thing incredibly well for the rest of their life, just like humans! Except they're legitimately /made/ to do these tasks, whereas humans sort of...guess; settle; mess up... Daedalus: Is that a faint whiff of bias I smell, or is that just me? Karumet: Don't be ridiculous; you can't be better than somebody at something they were made to do! Collin: I'm reminded of some old story about a man that hammered in railroad spikes or something like that suddenly...

Daedalus: John Henry. Cloned minds think alike, apparently. Karumet: Oh, I'd love to see you pump out as much magical weaponry as they did. Daedalus: Hey, I'm just sayin', "never say never" and all that jazz. Karumet: Whatever; you're missing the point, you worthless bag of hot water. Daedalus: Hey, I was just making a joke originally, not my fault you got so bent out of shape about it. 'Course, if I could bend metal that easily, maybe I could keep up! Karumet: ...Look. If we find this kleivenn, we can find who the kleivenn responsible for all this is. That's what matters. Collin: Sounds good to me. They're not dangerous or anything, are they? The forger, I mean. Karumet: Wouldn't know. I wasn't a spy; I never went to meet them. I do, however, know the kleivenn in charge of escorting spies to retrieve their weaponry. Collin: So first them, and then the forger? How hard will it be to find them? Karumet: Not very; we already know them. You remember Iris, don't you? Collin: That's... She worked in the library in Kuujar, right?

Karumet: Well, that's where she works now, yes.

alienrabitt: Th...the librarian's assistant managed a ring of spies?

Karumet: Well yes, somebody had to.

alienrabitt: But her?!

Karumet: What, you act like people don't like to read anymore... Collin: That's... not really the issue.

Iris does seem pretty harmless, huh?

alienrabitt: Are you sure she can help us?

Karumet: Oh yes, she's got a fantastic memory; why do you think she works in a library? Daedalus suddenly gets a look of realization on his face, which quickly swaps out for an unbearably cheeky grin. "Guess you really can't judge a book by its cover after all, huh?" Karumet groans and rolls her eyes. "If you don't have anything to contribute, please leave; this is kind of important." Daedalus: I have plenty of things to contribute. Besides, someone has to keep you squares from getting too serious all the time. Karumet: Fine, then what do you have to say about all this? Daedalus: I already said my piece about the current topic. What, you want a stand-up session too? Karumet: Gods, no; please just...don't.

alienrabitt: So uhh...I guess we should go to Kujaar?

Karumet: Let's not put the cart before the horse yet; we can't just run off and investigate this without stopping that mess of shalvenn...

alienrabitt: Yeah, but we can't exactly fight her yet either. Might as well talk to Iris, right? Collin: Yeah, I still hear Fawkes working inside his room when I pass by, so there's probably still some time to go on that. Plus, maybe we can find something out that'll help us deal with it? Karumet: Alright, then you'd better tell Nydins where to go. Collin: Alright, I can do that.

He steps out of the room and heads off for the console room. Karumet and Jay follow, leaving Clair, Zenith, and Daedalus alone.

Zenith: ...So we're going to kill our mom too, huh...

Clair: What other choice do we have? If we don't, who knows what she'll do...?

Zenith: I know, but...you're gonna be all alone...

Clair: Well, at least I still have you, right?

Zenith: Y-yeah...uh, I guess I'll go with them and see what happens. Someone's gotta tell you anyway...

Zenith leaves without waiting for an answer. Daedalus: ... Well that was, uh... a little weird. Clair: S-sorry! You keep getting caught seeing these conversations. At least you can leave this time? Daedalus: True, but I did actually have a reason for coming here aside from giving the fish girl a hard time. Clair: Huh? What did you need? Daedalus: I was actually gonna ask about the whole... "mom" thing. I mean, it hasn't been that long since I uh... well, you know. And now we're on our way to... well, you know. Clair: ...She...she was fine when we were younger. I was probably 8 years old when she wound up at the Operation. Zenith probably didn't know her much... Daedalus: Lucky for them, huh? Guess this whole mess must be a little harder to swallow for you though. Clair: I just don't know how to feel yet...this is the first time I'll have seen her since she disappeared. Daedalus: Not to be harsh or anything, but who knows if it'll even be "her" when we find her? Are you sure you want to see something like that? Clair: ...I have to know what happened. If I can't make things right, the least I can do is...let her go. Daedalus: I can respect that. I'll be honest, it's hard for me to really understand this kind of thing, but it's easy to see it's not much fun. Clair: ...I just hope she doesn't hurt anyone. And I hope that whatever we're trying actually stops her... Daedalus: I think we're gonna have to wait and see on that one. I mean, all we really know is that she's with Zenith at some point according to Nydins' weird future vision thing. We don't really know anything she's done or /will/ do. Clair: But Nydins can only see things that cause grief, right? I guess she just knew we would have to kill her... Daedalus: ... Fair point. Just be careful if you really plan on going with us when we finally deal with her. You're not as sturdy as the giant bucket with a light-up face. Clair: Why would you go? She's gonna be dangerous... Daedalus: Weeell, I'm not totally decided on whether I'll join the party or not. Depends on how much backup the usual gang thinks they're gonna need, I guess. But hey, gotta give my stuff a test run at some point, so we'll see when the time comes. Clair: Just...be careful. I don't want more people getting hurt in this. Daedalus: I'll try my best. I doubt I'll get a third try if I wind up biting it again. Clair: I...don't really want to think about anybody dying to my mom like this... Daedalus: Er, sorry. Well, look, if there's anything else on your mind, I'm still here. If not, my door's always- well actually I keep it closed but I'll usually answer if you knock. Clair: ...Thanks... Daedalus: ... Is there anything else on your mind? You're gonna have to be patient with me, this whole "nice" thing is still a new concept. Clair: It's just weird. We never had any friends until we came here, after all. Daedalus: That makes three of- actually they might not consider me a friend still, which is... fair, honestly. But yeah, I sorta get what you mean. Nice change of pace, at least? Clair: Yeah. I hated that place. Being here is a little weird too, though. I think when thia is over, me and Zenith are gonna start going everywhere with you guys. I really want to see what's out there with them. It's what we deserve. Daedalus: Hey, you won't see me trying to stop you. Clair: ...Um, I guess that's all. Hopefully Iris or whoever can help us out. Daedalus: Fingers crossed. Anyway, like I said, let me know if you need anything.

He raises his hand in a small goodbye wave and ducks back out of the door.

aww, look at you making friends!

next time we meet the smith, and some stuff happens!

#[S4]

1 note · View note

awed-frog · 7 years

Note

1/2 Hi! How are you doing? I'm the anon who asked you advice a while ago (u know, the bulimic, depressive girl) And, I wanted to tell u that I'm okay, I think I'm better. That you helped me a lot (I'll never say it enough times) and that I think I believe in myself to heal you know? I haven't been feeling guilty nor did I puked in four days straight and I'm trying to.... get there, u know. I feel really sorry that I just dropped all my crap to you, I don't even know why and you crearly didn't

2/2 deserve it. Really really sorry. I’m just happy, hopeful enough I think (don’t know how much it’s gonna last though) And well, I’m 15 years old. I hadn’t come out to my parents, but they suspect, I came out to my friends and they all treat me the same (I love them) and I’m publishing a short story in a magazine with some drawings I made. I don’t know if I should tell u all this, but since I left u in the dark that last time. You can just tell me to stop, I can’t write too much so just bye ❤

OHOHOH (bulimic anon again) I FORGOT and I have a girlfriend ❤❤❤❤ I love her soooo much and she loves me so much and I speak in Spanish and live in Argentina (I forgot u marked u didn’t know that ) *giggles* Bye I’ll live you in peace now

Aaaaaw, I hope you don’t mind I’m publishing this - I only found your messages this morning, and they turned my day into a beautiful day and I hope they’ll do the same for other people who, like me, occasionaly forget how amazing the world can be.

Seriously, I’m so happy for you I don’t even have words now. I’m so proud you started on your journey to get better - and you’re right, it will be tough at times, and you’ll probably relapse form time to time, but that’s normal, okay? That’s what happens, so remember to develop a coping strategy for stressful situations (calling friends, keeping a diary, gaming, reading, hot baths, meditation - different things work for different people) and most of all, be kind to yourself if you overeat or something - what matters is moving forward and keep moving until your good days outnumber the bad ones, okay? Personally, I found that keeping track of good and bad days helped, because on bad days I always felt like everything had been bad forever and ever and then I’d look at my calendar and there it was - three lousy day in a whole month or something - when you’re blue, time stretches and stretches and bad moments feel like they’ve been going on forever, but that’s not true - and that gave me the strength to say, Fuck it, it’s not the end of the world - I’ll try again tomorrow.

And I’m super happy and giddy and frankly stunned by the fact you were so brave to come out to your friends and whoa, you have a girlfriend??? Man, that’s - you know what I had at fifteen? Rats. I had rats. And a boy I was crushing on so very hard, and then one day he said he wanted to talk to me and he waited for me after school and I spent the whole afternoon getting ready for The Kiss and instead he tried to give me money so I’d tell him if this other girl he liked ‘had hairs down there or not’ (she was in my class, which means we all showered together after P.E.). So - wow, I’m impressed! For real, I’m sitting here and smiling from ear to ear at the thought that you’re having such a wonderful and sweet experience - all the kudos!

(To be fair, rats are cute, though. They’re not a good substitute for a romantic relationship, but they’re cute.)

And you’re writing! And drawing! And getting your stories published! Man, I told you you were an interesting person - see? See? I knew it! You already sounded special in that other message, and you become more and more amazing the more I know about you, and I’m so grateful your reached out the other day, so happy I could help you in some way.

(Just remember to thank me when you get the Cervantes Prize, though, because I really want to see all the old and stuffy men in the audience turn to one another and go, ‘Did she just thank a frog?’ and ‘No, she said Eau de Fog’ and ‘She said what now?’ and wouldn’t that be awesome?)

Really - thank you so much for giving me an update, it’s so good to hear you’re doing well! And if you ever want to chat, please come back - you’re not annoying me at all, and we all need that from time to time, you know - someone listening to us or giving us advice - so it’s not you spilling any crap on anybody, it’s what we all do - a healthy cycle of good things and a few tears and few hugs as we help each other out as best we can, because we’re all in this together, right?

(Of course we are.)

I wish you all the best things, sweetie - thanks for writing! ❤

#ask #bulimia #good news #good things #i'm really happy anon #i have a cold #and i've been stuck at work all day #but your messages kept me warm and fluffy #i'm so happy you're doing better #:)

7 notes · View notes

noxiim · 7 years

Note

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

#long post #sorry I kind of rambled #but anon if you want to talk to me don't be afraid to message me instead #I'm always here if you need to vent 💕#asks #Anonymous #art asks

42 notes · View notes

cas-tellation · 7 years

Text

Not What You Thought (I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Know) part 8

Last chapter - Masterlist - Read on ao3

A/N; Firstly; I just wanted to say that I have this fic pretty much mapped out, BUT there's a big empty space between now and the ending -- just because i need some filler stuff that i can use to add some ~development~ that being said, if you want anything specific to happen in this fic, please, please leave a comment telling me as this is the perfect time for me to maybe fit some of that stuff in. Nothing too big, just lil things. (do you want phil to get a pet? do you want more flashbacks from dan? flashbacks from phil? more about their family & all of that?? literally anything little like that that i can write a little bit about)Secondly; here a playlist of all the music i listen to whilst writing (i mean theres other music i constantly forget to add songs whoops) so if you wanna really ~get in the zone~ whilst readin you can go listen to that if you want i guess here it is And finally; lots of people who read this fic are ftm trans and thats great!! all the feedback that i've gotten back from them is so nice, and im very, very happy that this fic is at least somewhat realistic. I, myself, am not trans, however i am agender (demiboy? idk lol im figuring things out still) so i do have ~some~ experience with dysphoria and all that stuff, but at the same time its also amazing to hear what people say(a huge thanks to everyone's who's left comments on this fic so far... they really are greatly appreciated.)

Dan’s tired. He doesn’t want to get out of bed. Doesn’t want to do much of anything, really. The dysphoria is there; strong as ever. Maybe that’s the thing that he hates the most about himself: The dysphoria. Some people say that they understand that; understand the self hatred that comes with being stuck in the wrong body. But really, how could they, if they were cis?

When his mum claims that everything will be okay and that she understands, and that what he’s going through is something that every teen goes through-- isn’t she lying, because he’s not every teen. He’s Dan, not Yazi. He’s trans, not cis. He doesn’t know anybody who is trans - save for a couple of youtubers that he watches, more for the education aspect of being trans than anything else.

He feels alone. He can’t go to someone. Say, Phil. He couldn’t go to Phil and have the other boy comfort him, and tell him that everything’s going to be okay. Because how would Phil know, if he’s cis? How could Phil possibly know? How could anybody? Sure, they could have little glimpses, but nothing tangible. They wouldn’t feel dysphoria.

They wouldn’t feel this tired.

There’s a certain level of self hatred, but a lot of it was just the dysphoria. It makes him want to physically claw off his own skin.

School is stressful. He feels like he’s falling apart under the pressure of it. He’s doing too much and yet he still feels like he’s not doing enough. He stops doing his homework completely because whenever he hands it in and gets anything less than a perfect score; he feels like he’s failed somehow.

Of course, he hasn’t failed just because he has gotten a lower score, but still.

His mind is constantly messing with him and he’s so tired.

Phil’s embrace is more than welcoming after a long day. Dan melts into his arms, taking a long, shuddering breath and burying his face into Phil’s chest.

Take another deep breath. Now, close your eyes. Feel, where are you?

In, and out, darkness. Phil’s arms, Phil’s body, Phil’s heart, beating slowly and steadily beneath Dan’s cheek, further calming him. Phil’s saying something, maybe asking if Dan’s okay. Or alternatively, what’s wrong.

God, it feels like everything is wrong.

Everything, and it’s all piling up.

It’s too much. It’s all just - too much. He doesn’t know if he can deal with it anymore. He misses the sharp kiss of the blade against his pale skin.

But he’s here in Phil’s arms, safe from physical harm.

Only for the time being. Phil would leave and then - and then.

God.

Since when does the world spin like this? Since when does the world hurt like this?

Phil’s arms are drawing tighter around Dan’s thin body, one hand coming up to comb gently through Dan’s ever-so-slightly curly hair.

“It’ll be okay, Danny,” Phil’s saying.

But the thing is, it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay. Because everything hurts but at the same time everything’s so empty and heavy and full and painful. In Dan’s eyes, it’s not going to be okay. Not by a long shot. He feels so broken, and used up, and thoroughly useless.

He’s none of those things.

But his mind refuses to think of himself as anything but that.

Phil’s arms are around him, holding him together. When all Dan is doing is breaking apart.

Phil’s gone. He hadn’t wanted to leave. He’d been worried about Dan. They’re all worried, all the time. Phil, the teachers at school, Dan’s parents.

But Phil had to leave.

And Dan is now alone. Feeling the worst that he has in a long time. And he doesn’t know what to do.

Everything’s hazy. It’s like he’s looking at his life through a keyhole. Not really there. It’s almost as if he can’t feel anything. Is he dreaming? He can’t remember going to sleep but he still doesn’t feel like he’s properly awake. Through a keyhole. Hazy. Dream-like. Sitting on the edge of a bathtub, rolling up his sleeves.

Numb.

A razor, in his hand.

And god is he really going to do this?

Sleep is laced through with unease.

The feeling’s not gone the next day. He had hoped that after a good night’s sleep that the hurt would go away.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to make it through the day.

The binder fits too tight. His hair is growing out a little and it only adds to the dysphoria. Everything feels too feminine. Too much. Way too much. Make it stop, please.

He walks to school, the overcast sky reflecting his emotional state perfectly.

He pauses, in front of the school door, weighing his options.

Then, he turns around and walks in the opposite direction. Fuck school.

He doesn’t go home. God, he doesn’t want to go ‘home’ ever again. He goes to the park instead, where he and Phil had been. Except that now Phil’s not there. Instead, there are countless children and their parents. He almost regrets coming but sits down on the edge of a bench anyway, pulling a book out of his bag and trying to lose himself in the story. At least for a little while.

It’s weird, how invisible he is.

Nobody seems to notice him.

Nobody bothers him.

He almost wishes that he could do this everyday. Until he remembers how much school he’s missing and feels his throat choke up. Too much, this is all too much, and yet not enough.

Phil texts him just after noon, when Dan would usually meet him.

Dan doesn’t reply.

Everything is falling apart at a steady pace and there’s nothing that Dan can do to stop it.

That night, Dan lays in bed, his hands resting on his stomach, tears racing down his cheeks. He thinks, ‘I need Phil’, and then, ‘I need Nicole’, and after that he hates himself a little bit more.

The amount of notifications that Dan wakes up to is absolutely horrifying, in his opinion. Dozens from Phil. Even one from Nicole. He breath catches in his throat as he sees it;

Nic: where have you been ive missed u

He doesn’t know if he can reply to it. He does anyway.

Dan: i miss you too.

And he does. Fuck, he does.

He locks his phone again before he replies to Phil. A sick feeling settles in his belly.

At lunch the next day, Dan’s almost disappointed to see that Phil isn’t yet sitting on the dusty patch of ground behind the building. He pulls out the same book that he had started yesterday, and begins reading. He’s hoping that Phil will show up.

But scared, too, because he’s so unresponsive. He’s scared that Phil will think that Dan doesn’t like him and he’s scared that Phil won’t see how lost Dan is.

But fear isn’t helping him so he pushes it down and tries so hard to focus on the words in front of him. He doesn’t know if it’s working.

Phil does show up. He’s not mad that Dan hadn’t been there the day before, instead, he was worried about how Dan was feeling.

Phil says, “Hey Danny.”

And Dan says, “I told you to stop calling me that.”

And then Phil hugs him again and all Dan can think is: Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Because what did he do to deserve someone like this? Since when did he get to be with the Good Guy? Since when did someone who actually cared about things pay any sort of attention to him?

Usually it was someone looking for a good fuck.

Or Nicole, who simply didn’t have her life together enough to care.

Dan lets Phil hold him and is scared that Phil will leave once he realizes how well and truly fucked up Dan feels.

Feeling good is something that takes a long time. Dan feels a spark of it that night when Phil texts him saying:

Phil: Goodnight dannyyyyyyy <3333

The spark being Dan’s stomach flopping around happily. Happily. Happiness. It’s something that he has a hard time feeling.

But with Phil, it seems to come easier.

Dan wakes up feeling a bit more awake than usual. He tells himself that this means he’s getting over the depression, though he can still feel it lurking there, right under his skin, waiting for the worst time to make it’s re-appearance.

It’s horrible, living like this, but at the point that Dan is now at, it’s impossible to avoid.

#phanfic #phanfiction #myfics #ftmtrans #ftm #trans!dan #phan fluff #phan angst #phan smut #phan

18 notes · View notes

duchess-of-weirdness-blog · 7 years

Text

The last time I pour my heart out.

The last time I pour my heart to another human being was today. If you refer to my post right before this one you will be caught up to speed.

I didn’t want to risk something so real ( or what I felt was real) turned out to be a lie. I wrote everything I could to try to ask this guy to think for himself. Going into a marriage with someone you don’t even know and will never love? Sounds sounds absurd to me. I was in a place were we became best friends just the distance killed us. I planned to meet him next month. He dropped a bomb on me… below I’m sharing the long text letter that I sent him. I am sharing this becuase my pain might help someone else not to make the same mistake. Don’t long distance date. If you are interracially dating please make sure you are not with a coward. Make sure that you are with someone who would stand up to every system.. every person to fight for you like you would do for them. Everyone is not that strong and will use you for their selfish needs.

( my open heart below )

Sourabh… Please only read this when you are alone…

This is some of the worst pain that I ever felt. I was so open and honest with you from the beginning about everything. I feel like everything you ever said to me was a lie. I understand that we are in two different places. I also know it’s a new world how can you follow old traditional views.. that you told me you didn’t even follow. What we had was so genuine and real. I know if we could have met up things would be different. Not knowing if we could have been something more is what feels like it’s killing me inside. I couldn’t even sleep… I couldn’t eat. Just like trying to keep busy working on my projects.. it’s crazy how if I got to send a message you pop up first because you were my most contacted person. You went from telling me good morning everyday to just silently leaving me. I’m writing a lot because writing is like my therapy and I gotta get it all out. It is possible to survive in this world with two totally different people. You don’t have to be the same ethnicity or religion to really love someone. 😑 love is love or like.. whatever and it should happen naturally not forced.. Not because someone said. We talked about this so I really feel like this hurt was done on purpose. You did everything to heal my heart just to break it again. That’s the most fucked up shit I ever felt in my life bro… Then you tell me to give you time like there’s even a chance of hope for me and you. I know that there isn’t any hope. I never got to hug you talk to you.. or do any of that fun stuff like showing you around California and going to concerts like we talked about. I hate when I get a message on whatsapp now because it’s never you. How could you call someone your best friend and just abandon them & their emotions? Trust me I know how important family is and how they can have a influence on you. You should man up and do what you really want to do. I really wish we could have met in person. It’s different.. like if we would have met & it didn’t work out fine… but now it’s like we never got the chance to try… I can’t go from having all these feelings for you to going into the friend zone. If I’m taking the time to write all this and get everything in the open I hope that you can see how much I really did care. My emotions don’t lie… I felt it so strong and asked you if there was someone else… you just asked me why I always thought so negative. It wasn’t that I was thinking negatively I was thinking the truth. You just lied to me in my fucking face… and then tell me I can’t text you in a loving way for some bitch you never even met or talked to…. That’s crazy we chose each other. That should mean something… you can’t just block someone special out your life. You have to fight for them. You only get one life and you have to fight for the things you want. Me writing this is my way of fighting… although I know this is a war that I’ve already lost. Fuck all the stress and these terrible feelings that I feel… I wish we could just run away and spend some quality time with no labels and no pressure just doing fun stuff together. There is a long life ahead there’s no need to rush into marriage or any situation just because someone else thinks its best. Don’t get all scared thinking someone else will see this… I wouldn’t care if the world saw this message because it’s something so pure and just heartfelt. We live in a world where everyone is just out for self gain… All I wanted to gain was maybe my best friend falling in love with me.. now I’ll never know. I only tried to start my old job back while I was still feeling sick just to meet you in person. I know I’ll have to let it go for my own health.. my blood pressure got really high crying and just thinking about you… crying the whole time that I type this. Remember the guy that I told you that u reminded me of? Hassan ? That comedian… it’s crazy because in his show that I love so much… he almost lost his wife because his dad tried to change his mind… but his sister stepped in and told him to follow his heart.. they’re both two different religions and the odds were stacked against them. But they just followed their hearts.. Follow your heart even if your heart doesn’t lead you to me.. listen to your heart because your brain just tells you everything that won’t work.. but your heart tells you everything that will work. Trust me I’m not trying to steal you away from your family or friends. Everyone can exist together.. I have no idea what’s going on in your mind… I know I’m probably not even on your mind because my texts are just empty… I can’t just sit around while you try to get to know someone else…. 😑😑😑 I was really trying to spend your birthday with you & party like we talked about. Ughhh Why did I believe it? I’m so fucking stupid.. but people are only stupid for people they really care about. I swear this is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to write because it’s a goodbye before a beginning. It’s like the end to something so natural and pure.. We are so different yet so much the same. I know love probably isn’t in the forecast for me. I just hope you’re happy… and just know that some people really have stronger feelings than others. Like don’t fuck with someone’s emotions especially when they were so open with you about being hurt before. It really feels like that lady gaga song bad romance. I know I could never be your friend. I can’t watch the guy I wanted so bad growing to love someone else. It’s not fair for me to get online and just see that I don’t have a message from you. Do you realize that we talked everyday? That meant something to me. I know now that it didn’t mean anything to you. I don’t normally make that much time for men. I’m not just anybody… like I actually do shit.. I know u met me when I got sick but I’m a boss.. I really wanted to do business with you and make money. Do you know how epic that could have been? My connections in the USA! Your connections in India.. that could have really been some power couple type of shit. Espically when my app drops.. wow I know this is long but I feel like it will probably be the last thing that I get to say to you. Although I wish things would go my way & you would just be like nooo I choose u haha but deep down I know because I felt you disconnect from me… I felt it when I asked you & u just lied to me & said you were dating the gym lol remember that?

It sucks cuz I’ve been going to work on my projects sick.. of course I’m not gonna blame all my stress on you… but of course losing you hurts a lot. In a perfect world of course I wish you would just be like I choose you! We could just explore and travel u show me india I show u California and we go on different adventures together…. but this isn’t a perfect world is it? 😓 I know.. life changes but I didn’t think it would change this fast. Lol I told you how I’m writing scripts all the time well now at least you get to see something besides short texts lol I do want to say thank you for the times when I was really sick you motivated me got me in the gym. These past few days I haven’t eaten meat & I’m gonna stay that way now. I hope I had or have some kind of impact on you also. I also want you to know that it’s okay to interracially date. It’s so beautiful to be with someone who is not exactly the same as you. You have to be a very brave person to do that.. because the world will judge you! They will hate it but I feel like for something real it’s worth it. I don’t know where you stand with all that we never really talked about it. Mostly that’s what it boils down to tho in this world.

I’m still a virgin so I don’t have much experience… but I do know if I ever have kids I want them to find true love on their own and I’ll love them enough to respect their choice no matter what it is. I honestly didn’t know things like what you’re going through is still happening in 2017! Fuck I feel like I’m saying last words at a funeral or something.. but the truth is life goes on… I can’t lie I’m gonna miss you so fucking much. I hope you think of me some time. I will tell you this… she can never care about you or love you the way I did.. It won’t ever be real.. she’s just going along with some bullshit plan and tradition so she can have a life and be taken care of.. it won’t ever be real love.. your future kids none of that shit will be made out of real love… one day you’ll regret not standing up for yourself and being your own man.

That’s what I’ve been learning how to stand up for myself and say how I really feel. I had a crazy business meeting today and I stood up and told everyone the truth! That they were full of shit and it was beautiful. Lol I probably would have been texting you all about it haha.. but anyway I won’t.. I will say that I’m sorry for opening up to you so much… I’m sorry for trusting the things you said.. because I just opened myself up for this pain… I won’t be open with anyone else like that ever again.. I’m learning to protect my feelings.. I’m growing and learning but I know one day I will get there. I just have so many questions did your family find oit you were talking to a black girl and get mad? Or did u know this was happening all along? Why would you meet new people if you knew you were trapped in a traditional world? I hope you set yourself free. I wish I had no feelings I swear😑 I’m mad I feel so used… I know you technically weren’t mine but u knew I was gonna meet u and we would have been together… I can still pick up on your vibes.. just like when you lied I felt it.. I can feel when u think about me… I can feel when you just ignore the feeling and do nothing about it.. We talked everyday… now this.. I’m not even good enough for a hello… With friends like this I definitely don’t need any enemies. Sadly coming to the end of writing this I feel like I wasted so much of my time. You won’t listen to a single thing I said because you’re blinded. I’m still gonna send this to you tho.. because I’m stupid and I always like trying one last time. I’m addicted to the feeling of heartbreak.. that shit has happened so many times until it feels good.. It’s like a high.. I knew that shit was coming. I should have never entertained you. You’ll probably just block me again or something and go on like I never existed. Idk… I’m so excused.. I think I said as much as I can say.. Sincerely the girl who actually never lied to you and valued you - Dawnn

1 note · View note

thehoneybuddhadefender · 7 years

Note

So angst with rfa+v mc being dangerous (like Seven dangerous but more) like shes been chased by many countries and she has killed (if u want that lol) someone and then she decides to leave them. Like say she cheated on them (but didnt) or dont just love them anymore bc she doesnt want them to get hurt. No happy ending plz (but dont kill anyone plz)

Thank you for your request, i know you told that i couldn’t kill anybody, but i killed someone. I’m sorry, that was the ending i thought so.But i hope you like it!

Yoosung

“Dangerous people don’t get hurt” This is what you’re trying to tell to yourself.

You’re too dangerous, and Yoosung is so young…With so many plans for his life.

He’s just an angel that deserves a bright future.

You can’t think about losing him, you can’t think about getting him hurt.

You can tell him the truth, but you know he’ll be by your side even by that. But you feel bad, he almost lost the sight of one his eyes because of you…

But now you’ll have to leave him.

You made your suitcase, and he saw you leaving “MC…Are you leaving?” He runs to you, with a confused yet set face.

You look at him, your eyes want to tear up, but you’re being strong, you just sigh “…I can’t be here anymore Yoosung…I’m breaking up with you.”

“What…?” He froze, and then he got closer to you “Honey…Don’t say that! Why? We love each other…!” He’s getting closer, this made the situation harder than it was.

“…I cheated on you!” You yelled, and then you saw Yoosung, his eyes are filled with tears…His face just says one emotion: Sadness.

“…What…?” He said with a broken voice, you close your eyes, you can’t seem him like this, it’s too much…

After some minutes of silence, he said like a whisper “…We can talk about this…” He was reaching for your free hand, you just give one step away from him.

“No. I’m in love with that person.” He froze again, almost not believing it, you heard the horn of the taxi you called, and like that you run for it.

You heard Yoosung screaming your name, but you tell to the driver to go, you will not look back…You can’t…Your eyes are just filled up with tears.

You don’t know what’s going to happen with Yoosung right now…But you believe that he’s going to be fine…Nobody will hurt him…

This is what you believe.

Now he feels worthless, depress, because he believes he isn’t good enough for nothing.

He just can’t go further in his life…

Not without you.

Zen

Your story is sad to tell.

And you can’t tell anybody that, you fear for his safety.

What’s left in your life now?

Your love, Zen.

But you fear his safety…He has so many dreams ahead of him…He has already fought so much for them…

You can’t mess up his life, he has a great life ahead of him.

This makes you smile…Just to think about it.

Every day you’re more distant from him, and he can see it.

He’s making breakfast for you, coming earlier from rehearsals, just to be with you.

Nothing seems to change.

You can feel his sadness.

This makes your heart break…But it’s better to forget about this sadness…You need to leave him.

You were with the suitcase on your hand, you walk to him “Zen…I’m going away.” He was not so surprised by it, he was feeling you so distant from him…But his eyes are filled with sadness either way.

“MC…I don’t know what have i done wrong…Or if you need something…Please tell me…I’m your knight…! I can protect you!”

“…You always think you’re such a dream…But i’m seeing another guy…He’s better for you…Even in looks.”

Zen just froze, with tears in his eyes, this was your opportunity to go.

You had to say such things to him…It was so cruel…But otherwise he would be so in shock and he would stop you…

After you left…Zen just don’t feel the same.

Your words hit him every day…He thinks he wasn’t good enough for the love of his life…And to be honest…

He thinks he isn’t good enough for anyone.

He’s smoking and drinking so he can numb the pain…

But nothing seems to work…

Zen is finished.

Jaehee

You’re living a great life with Jaehee.

You helped her reach her dream, she is so thankful for that, and she is in complete love for you.

And you’re for her.

She’s just smiling too much, you can’t help but smile too!

But this has to end…

You were preparing to leave, Jaehee runs to you “MC?!You’re going on a trip without me?”

You look at her “I’m living my life without you.”

She looked confused “What?”

“Jaehee…I’m not into you…Did you know what i mean? That was just for fun…A new experience that i didn’t like it…”

She looks really mad right now “What do you mean? We build a cafe together!”

“It would be better if we just kept being friends… I’m sorry… But now I can’t even be friends with you…It’s too weird.” You sigh and you enter the taxi holding back your tears.

You cried when the taxi goes.

Jaehee is angry…But also…She is broke.

She slowly comes back to her house, with tiny steps…She can’t believe that.

She sits on her couch, with a blank expression…Then she starts to cry.

And she cries all the day, she doesn’t want you in her mind, but she still loves you so much.

She just works in the cafe and go home to cry…She wants to forget you, forget she is missing you…

This pain is too much…

She’s there in the cafe, with a broken smile, trying to hide all that sadness.

She thought she was going to live in eternal happiness because of you…

But she’s living an eternal suffering because of the same person.

Jumin

He is finally happy with his life.

He thought was satisfied with it, but now with you in it, he realizes the had a huge hole in her.

And now you made him finally happy.

But you can’t help to feel the blame when you think about how your life can mess his life.

His life was too cold without you, now it’s warm enough.

You know Jumin wouldn’t let you go that easily, it doesn’t matter what you say.

He would insist more and more, and he would want all the details to know why you’re leaving.

You know he would try to change everything you don’t like…But he can’t change your life.

Why you accept all this…?

You were gone before he could notice, you left a note, saying you needed to go…You wanted another life, another husband.

All lies.

Lies that he didn’t believe.

He pays who needed to find you, but nobody could.

He wants to feel your hand in his again, he wants to kiss your lips again, he wants to see you again.

That black hole that was in his life is back.

He doesn’t mind spending all his life searching you…Because he wants to find you.

You didn’t mess his life…You messed up him.

Jumin Han is destroyed…Because of a broken heart.

Who would think this was possible?

707

You should have been away from him when he said he was dangerous.

He doesn’t suspect you, you know how to erase your trace if from him.

Now you’re trying to do the same thing as he did in the past…Making him get away from you.

You wanted him to save you from this mess, but you don’t want to involve him in this.

You’ll fight on your on.

You were ready to go when Seven saw you with all those things, he runs to you “MC were are you going? What are you doing?”

You don’t say anything, while you were going to the door, he holds your arm, making you stay “Answer me!”

You look at him and then you sigh “I can’t live this life anymore…You’re too dangerous…Your head is messed up…!”

“What?” He gave a little laugh like he wasn’t believing it “…MC…My problems are in the past, we already beat all of them!”

“No…” You sigh “I just…Don’t love you…I mistake my feelings…I love 707…Not Saeyoung…Even if you want me to stay…I’ll go.”

Seven let go of your arm, looking at you, with a serious expression, he isn’t believing in any of those things you were saying “…I won’t let go of you…You can go now…But i’ll find you.”

You walk away, with a sad smile on your face…You wish he could find you.

But he doesn’t give up…He’s hacking any camera, anything, any files…He’ll know where you are…And why you were running from him.

But sometimes is too hard to type when the keyboard is too wet because of his tears that keep falling.

He was happy about this life with you right now.

Even if he is always terrified that he might lose you one day.

And this day came.

You know what V already suffers in his life, and another “lost” would be too much for him.

But you don’t want him to get hurt or killed because of you.

You’re too dangerous.

Your heart will sink, your happiness will disappear.

But you hope V will have a good life. You really do.

You have to go away…. This is hard, but you must do it.

Your things were ready to put on the taxi that was waiting for you.

V’s vision is worst, it’s more blurry than ever, but he could see your movement and that car outside

“What are you doing MC?” He said calamity, smiling.

You looked at him, sighing, your expression was sad, but you know he can’t see it “I’m leaving V.”

“….Leaving me…? Forever? But…I love you MC…” V didn’t even ask why, to be honest, he doesn’t know why you gave him a chance to be happy…It’s your right to take that happiness back.

“I just don’t love you anymore…” You could see tears falling from behind his glasses…You’re happy that you can’t see his eyes.

And you know if you stay there just a little more…He would make you stay.

So you took the opportunity and you enter that taxi…And then you go away.

V even asked Seven and Jumin to help him find you.

But all that effort was nothing.

He always says he forgot about you…And he’s happy that you’re finding your happiness.

He’s faking his smile to the other members, saying he’s ok.

He doesn’t know why he smiles. Maybe that way nobody will be worried about him.

But he is miserable now.

God knows that…

So he is hoping that God accepts him in heaven…Even if he’s shortening his life.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger headcanon #707 #jumin han #v #zen #luciel choi #jaehee kang #yoosung kim #saeyoung choi

237 notes · View notes

ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

[SF] My Dreams Are Not Normal

***\*

I originally posted this story in r/Wholesomenosleep but decided it was more appropriate to post here, since it's not really scary

***\*

Let me start off by telling you a little bit about myself. I am an only child and I have a mother who loves me more than life itself. I don’t know if this is a good thing or bad thing, only that I can’t always control it. Usually at night, when people go to sleep, they’ll have dreams, wake up, and then vaguely remember them. The same happens to me, only not quite. When I sleep, I travel into the past. Sounds cool, right? But here’s the thing, I can’t always control where and when I travel to. Sometimes I get nightmares, too. In these nightmares I involuntarily travel to the worst possible times and places to be. Let me tell you, waking up in a Nazi occupied Germany wasn’t fun in the least bit.

Now that you know a little about me it’s time to get onto the reason I’m here. I feel that I’ve done a terrible thing and I have to get it off my chest.

My father passed away earlier this year due to a heart attack. And to be honest, my mother hasn’t been taking it well at all. Ever since that day, she hasn’t been herself. She’s quieter, she likes to be alone, and she stopped doing the things she has always enjoyed such as gardening and holding her book club meetings.

About a week ago, I knocked on her bedroom door, only to walk in on her sitting up in bed, just staring at the window. This is how most mornings have been for a while now. I was just checking in on her to tell her that I finished preparing breakfast and afterward decided to resume moving around a bunch of my father’s stuff around in the attic as we have been trying to organize some boxes. One thing you need to know about my father is that he was very old school. He saved newspapers, and kept a journal which he wrote in daily.

So I went upstairs and starting moving boxes when I noticed one of them was slightly open with a piece of newspaper sticking out of it. Curious, I opened the box and pulled out the newspaper. The headline read: “October 9th, 1990: Plane Crash Kills All Passengers on Board”.

“Jesus Christ” I thought to myself.

I continued reading the article until I got to a list of confirmed deaths. What shocked me about this list was that among the deceased, there was someone named Elena who shared the same last name as me: Decker. My parents had never told me about any aunts or cousins who had passed away so I was surprised to see someone with my last name had died in a plane crash. What stuck out even more was that my father kept a copy of this newspaper. Inside the box was my father’s journal. He wrote A LOT and had a journal for every year. I grabbed his 1990 journal and flipped through the pages until I got to the date on the newspaper. I skimmed down the lines, tracing the words with my finger until I got to the middle of the page.

“I wish I could have stopped her from getting on that plane. When Elena was packing up that morning she had misplaced her ticket and I helped her find it, just in time. A moment later and she would have missed her flight.”

I flipped through the pages, skimming the lines for anything else about Elena, but I couldn’t find anything. Maybe there was more, but I wasn’t going to read through this monster of a journal to find it. At the very bottom of the box, I found a physical copy of Elena’s obituary. From it, I found out that at the time of the plane crash she was 17 years old. She was a senior in high school, a cheerleader, and one of the top of her class. I didn’t want to ask my mother about it, but I knew exactly where and when Elena could be found.

I kept the newspaper article and later that night I was in bed, thinking about Elena. I leaned over to grab the article off my nightstand and read the date one more time.

“October 9th, 1990”

I thought to myself that if I could experience the American revolution to pass my history test, I could go meet this Elena girl, right? So I shut my eyes and focused on that date. I’m not good at focusing my travels, but I’ve been getting better at it lately. Honestly, it’s a hit or miss but there was no harm in trying. I cleared my mind and closed my eyes, patiently waiting to fall asleep.

After I don’t know how much time, I woke up. It was day, and I was in the middle of a football field. There were guys running and cheerleaders practicing their routines. Cars were driving by on the street and I tried to take a moment to absorb in the scenery and where I was when suddenly, a football hit me in the back of the head. I fell to the ground and a big guy runs up to me, laughing.

“You gotta keep your eyes open, you’re in the middle of a football field, man” he said

“Maybe you should watch where you’re throwing the ball, Brad” said an unfamiliar female voice from behind me. I turned my head, only to see one of the cheerleaders there, she had her hands on her hips and seemed irritated, like this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

“Sorry Elena, Will and I were playing catch and it turns out Will only knows how to catch, not throw.” said Brad.

Jackpot.

Brad went back to playing football and Elena helped me up.

“Are you from around here?” she asked

“Nope, my family just moved here. I’m still trying to get used to the city.” I replied, trying my best to come up with a fake backstory.

“Oh I see. So what’s your name?” she asked

“Romeo, I think I got that your name was Ele-” as I tried to answer, I heard thunder.

It was raining when I went to sleep and the thunder was literally ear shattering. As it continued, I began to pass in and out of this period in time. In order for me to stay in the current point in time, I have to remain asleep. I once was in Salem and my alarm went off. I was labeled as a male witch and I think you can infer how that went. Anyway, eventually the thunder stopped and I stopped slipping between the past and present. Elena however, gave me the most wide-eyed look I’ve ever seen in my life. Shit, I thought to myself.

“You’re a time traveler” she exclaimed

“What? How do you know?” I asked

“Because I am too, and the same happens to me. Did your alarm clock go off?” she asked

“Oh” I began to chuckle “nope, there’s just a lot of thunder” I explained

For the rest of the day Elena and I just talked about our time adventures and she took me to one of the best burger places in the city.

“So, when did you first find out about your powers?” Elena asked

“I’ve known for a while. It’s so much of a big deal to me anymore. I haven’t told anybody.” I replied

“Good, keep it that way. If people knew what we could do, then we wouldn’t be having adventures anymore. Everybody has regrets. If someone you loved died, and you knew your best friend could easily go back in time and save them but didn’t, how would you feel?” she said

I looked out the window and a car pulled up, I looked through the tinted window to see the driver. It was my dad, but a lot younger. My heart skipped a beat to see him, so full of life.

“Hey, that’s my dad. I gotta go.” she said.

Suddenly all the pieces came together. Elena packed grabbed her things and was putting them into her backpack. My dad honked the car three times outside.

“I’m running late to the airport. You should travel here more often, or maybe we could go somewhere else” she said

I got butterflies. My first instinct was to tell her, and spare her a cruel fate. However, one rule I stick to when I travel is to not change anything too much. This was something more significant to me. If I saved her, I could change everything about my family, including my own existence. Would my parents still have me? Would my parents be different? Would it be for the better or for the worse? Either way, I stopped myself. My throat was in a knot. I just swallowed, looked her in the eye and said:

“Yeah, see you around.”

Elena left through the front door and I watched her through the window, getting into the car, and talking to my dad. He pulled away from the curb and as they drove off into the distance, my alarm went off. I woke up, it was morning the sun was up. My first thought: I just killed my sister. I don’t know how to feel. I keep telling myself that it was to ensure my own existence but at what cost? I got up to open the curtains slowly.

“I love it when the sun shines after a thunderstorm” said a female voice behind me

I turned around, to see Elena in the doorway.

“Elena you shouldn’t be here” I started to say.

She walked toward my bedside, and picked up the article.

“Shit.” I thought to myself

“Don’t worry, I’m asleep on the plane right now." she said.

In this moment I really didn't know what to say to her. All I could do was look her in the eyes as they began to water.

"I noticed you looked a lot like our dad. So I thought to myself, why would my brother from the future travel back in time to meet me, seemingly for the first time.” she explained, looking up at me.

“I wanted to tell you, I really did.” I said

Elena slowly put the newspaper article back on the nightstand.

“The past is the past. If I can accept it, then so can you.” she said, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. I walked up to her and gave her a hug, she hugged me back, a lot harder. As we embraced, she began to slowly fade from this point in time and I was left there, alone in my room.

submitted by /u/jaydom28 [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2HJ805N

#Blogger #Story

0 notes