#I’m. My brain just hasn’t accepted it yet I guess

[shima-draws]

Tries not to think about Pokeani ending tomorrow after over 25 years of adventures and friendships and rivalries and battles and wins and losses and championships and Pokemon Masters and irreplaceable partners and

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT/VAGUE SPOILER:

I’m going to be unapologetically posting these rants because I’m absolutely fucking fuming. This entire Demeter situation is absolutely dog shit and it’s getting on my nerves, I’m not understanding how everyone is getting on Demeter for being so manipulative and such when HADES IS THE EXACT SAME. I’m so sick of this I feel like every few rants I say the exact same thing even though dozens of people still do this bullshit.

I’m upset and I’m mad because Demeter was never manipulative and evil like this, if you guys don’t get that this is basic character assassination then it’s fine but it is. Demeter was always proud of Persephone, after the whole 10 year reunion she literally said how proud she was of Persephone because she managed to keep the land up and running for the last ten years while she was gone. She didn’t even take up the conversation or make it about her, she just showed earnest pride in her daughters work. UNLIKE HADES, we have whole fucking chapters dedicated to Hades making everything about himself yet everyone is fine with him doing that?? It makes no fucking sense. Hades disregards Persephone’s feelings time and time again, he makes every single conversation about himself, how he empathizes with others has to do with himself, his trauma is the only one validated, he’s the only one who can get away with being an absolute shitty parent and a terrible person and he’s the only one who can manipulate others without consequence. Do you guys not see how absolutely insane it is to hate Demeter and not Hades? Is it not strange to you how every single time this man speaks it’s always about himself or Persephone and even when speaking about Persephone it’s always pertaining to things she can do for him.

I can go on and on how the fans’ outrage towards this whole Demeter thing is crazy! They say that Demeter doesn’t respect Persephone well guess what, I have a funny story for you. Hades doesn’t either, he literally only wants her to be his wife and have his kids. He’s never once imagined her in a position of power nor has he ever been completely supportive with her way of doing things. There’s always a weird condescending nature with him when he’s interacting with Persephone and it’s crazy how no one else picks it up with those two. He literally only likes her cause of her physical looks and because she’s nice enough to tolerate. There’s never been a time where he truly showed actual respect to Persephone, he doesn’t do anything respectful towards her except for the bare minimum which is what it’s called. Bare.

Then people say that she’s wrong for saying she isn’t ready to run a kingdom. I want to let you in on a little secret.. Persephone hasn’t been doing shit ever since she made Tartarus defeat Kronos and even when she once again got someone else to get their hands dirty for her guess what? He’s back so she didn’t even do shit. Like come on, you couldn’t even finish the job with Kronos??? And that’s what we’re supposed to respect her for?? All powerful, all knowing, all beauty, all brains fertility goddess Persephone couldn’t defeat big bad Kronos that she was able to take down in five panels? You’re absolutely kidding me!! Persephone is so powerful it’s amazing that she didn’t take him down!!! Anyways, let’s get real. Persephone hasn’t even made any comments on what she wants to do as queen, she doesn’t know anything about the underworld still and she doesn’t even want to know by the looks of it. She doesn’t act like someone who’s accepted their job or responsibility she looks like she just got access to Hades’ wallet and is now going to live her life like nothing happened… Oh wait. That’s exactly what she’s doing.

Also, can we please stop ignoring the multiple critics talking about Hades’ obsession with courting Persephone and having a family with her all without her knowing?? Like I hate that this huge monumental issue in their relationship is being treated all cute and such. This is exactly what happened to Minthe people, and you all hated her because of how she responded to it yet you’re all fine with Hades considering doing the same to yet another woman that he love bombed into a relationship with. Speaking of Minthe, I think it’s pretty sick how no one allowed her to actually validate her emotions. Believe it or not Hades was planning on proposing to her in front of everyone who hated her, everyone who disrespected her, everyone who looked down on her, everyone who felt as if she were inferior and undeserving of the relationship as a whole. Imagine how that would feel for you, and why would you ever want to be with a man who cares so little about you, Hades is so tied up in his fantasy that once the perfect wife comes along his problems will all be solved. Why is everyone okay with him doing this to others?

Speaking of using women as literal wish fulfillments, this feminist story has to be a spit in the face to those it tells us it represents. Why is it that everyone is okay with Hades using these women to fit into his image and the way he wants the relationship to be without even trying to understand their desires or needs? Why are we so comfortable watching him force his wishes on these women? Is it because he’s not being violent that we look the other way, is it because he begs instead of demands things that makes this okay? Is it because of his constant useless awareness of him trying to stop himself from being a borderline creep that we’re fine with his unsettling behavior? If anything this comic should’ve taught everyone that violence against anyone doesn’t always have to be physical, what Hades is doing is damaging and he’s not just doing it to one person he’s doing it to multiple people without consequence.

I hate to say it but the way he has so many similarities with Apollo is very disturbing. I know a lot of LO fans will try and deny however many times they can but it’s the truth, he’s just like him really. They’re behaviors, the way they approach people, and genuinely how they react and speak to others are similar which is very very disturbing. It’s something that should’ve been discussed within the fandom instead of Demeter wanting her daughter far away from someone like that.

Anyways, I’m going to be defending Demeter and any other character who dislikes Hades for good reasons with my life because they’re the only ones who actually make sense.

[know-the-way]

Continued Stages of Falling Down the Miss Fisher Rabbit Hole

I’m gonna be real - I wish I could watch things in chronological order, I really do, but my ADHD brain just doesn’t work like that. So, I’ve bounced all around the different seasons and my overall thoughts are a jumbled mess. However, there are some things - in chronological order - that I just continue to go feral over the more I look at them, so I’m gonna share with the class. (P.S. Thank you so much for the warm welcome! You’re all very lovely and I just hope I don’t fuck that up by being annoying 😅… Uh… yep. Anyway, have a nice day! Lots of nonsense and a wee bit of meta below!)

- “Perhaps we could allow ourselves one candle?” “I think I could cope with that.”

Mmhm, listen here you cheeky fuckers, I see you. Whoever wrote this show learned the art of subtle symbolism and slow burn majesty, and while I am HERE for it, I also just… ya know… *pushes heads together* kiss already.

- Hearing Phryne say “I’m looking for my daughter” when she was searching for Jane in Queen of the Flowers. *clutches chest* Owwww. Her progression from “ugh, kids” to “this one’s okay, I guess” to “she is a part of me and to wrench her away would be akin to removing my very heart.” Just… yes. I will always love that dynamic. But I also appreciated Phryne emphasizing that Jane’s mum would always be her mum. I feel like there’s normally a focus on the child needing to choose between their biological or adoptive parents and it was refreshing that they allowed room for both of those relationships with Jane to exist equally.

- Maybe it’s just me, but whyyyyy does this exchange feel so domestic? There’s something about Jack just sitting there, marveling at her being in her own element, telling Hugh “of course” when he asks if Phryne knows judo (‘cause he knows her well enough to not be shocked anymore - like ‘of course she knows judo and speaks 8 languages and flies planes, it’s common sense Collins, get with the program’), and already knowing the answer to his suspicion about the “dangerous weapon.” It all just has an air of ‘gently teasing my spouse of 10 years in front of people because I know it winds them up and that’s our love language’ about it.

I’m also kind of curious how long Phryne has been practicing martial arts. Was it a ‘from childhood’ thing or a ‘from a traumatic event that made learning this skill feel necessary’ thing? If that fic hasn’t been written yet, I’d love to read one.

- “This time, you’re an accomplice. And unless you plan on killing Inspector Robinson yourself, he’ll make sure you hang.”

Again… I could so easily be reaching, but to me this comes off very much like “once my husband finds out what you’ve done to me, he will spend every waking moment ensuring your demise.” Couple that with Jack carrying her out like Prince Fucking Valiant and… yeah. #FERAL

- The fact that he wasn’t already holding her hand, but she was reaching for him… 🥺 The hurt/comfort goblin that lives in my brain: thriving. Just… fuck me up.

I still have two episodes of season 2 to finish, but so far my overall summary is that - by episode 3 - they’re together. Together, together. Don’t even care that it’s not “official,” don’t care that they don’t say it explicitly… they’re committed to each other in every way that matters, so they are bloody together. Just need them to realize that and accept it. For all our sakes.

[deadlittledogs]

I mean this in the nicest way possible but it sounds like you have severe body dysmorphia and are a shut in. You’re making yourself feel like shit constantly comparing yourself to others and it’s gonna drive crazy not having basic social interactions with others. It’s easier said than done but either talk to online mutual/friends or befriend a coworker who doesn’t seem insufferable to be around or become a regular at local spots in your town (cafes, comic stores, music stores). It’ll help with the spiraling thoughts that you’re not good enough and the loneliness. Anything sounds better at this point than passively living in your mind all the time. I’m sorry life hasn’t been kind to you lately.

xoxo

I KNOW, NONNIE, YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT AND I APPRECIATE THE MESSAGE A LOT….. It’s just fucking hard because I’ve never been enough for anybody, not in my entire fucking life. I want to feel ‘accepted’ by somebody so bad but it just pushes me further into the trenches, makes me do stupid shit and pairs me up with assholes who enjoy the stink of my desperation and help perpetuate the cycle. I’ve been chasing after metaphorical carrots-on-stick since I was a child. I’m not sure how to exist in any other state but this I guess….

I’m definitely getting out more, which is good….. but like I’ve mentioned before, I can’t really…. connect well with others lmao…. I’m not sure how to fix this problem, I assume I just haven’t met ‘my people’ yet. I get along with my coworkers fine enough, and it’s helped me with my social skills a lot, but I don’t think they really see me, ya know…… I’m still trapped in my little box………. but I think there’s potential for growth, of course I do, or else I would’ve just blown my le freaking brains out already lel.

Maybe I’ll take your advice and start doing cafes more!!! I think even just leaving the house and having ‘me’ time might be good… I’m sort of reluctant to leave the house unless I have someone accompanying me but idk, maybe I should go check out the local pubs and see a ballet show or something. Try to spice up my day and go pretend I’m apart of general society to help me acclimate outside of dah muck 🫡

[whats-9plus10]

Here’s a top 10 list of my favorite Gary moments based on absolutely nothing but my personal opinions.

10. Gary’s haircut

Move over Zuko. Gary’s character development hasn’t finished yet. I feel like this signified a whole new chapter for him that we were supposed to see in season 8, but now will hopefully get to see in the movie. Also he looks so good with his little slut strands.

9. Grippy socks Gary

Gary helping Hank and Dermott was cute. That’s it. It was so damn cute. It was the trio I didn’t know I needed until it happened. Gary was creeping around the compound looking for an adventure, and unlike Al who got roped into Hank’s nonsense, Gary encouraged it. He provided the intel, made the plan, and probably drove them to the bank. Gary crafting was adorable and he looks so good in scrubs. This is an underrated Gary episode.

I also found it interesting that he continued to call himself Viceroy after cutting ties with the Monarch. I guess following a man dressed as a butterfly since in middle school does things to the developing adolescent brain. Gary was still seeing butterflies, literally (although to be fair, those ink blots do look like butterflies).

8. Hero with a number

The original Captain Sunshine has Gary pegged. I don’t know if I would go so far to call him a “hero”, but he is one of the most genuine characters on the show and the people around him respond to that. He made an impression on Shore Leave that later made way for him to join S.P.H.I.N.X. After his iconic fight with Brock, Brock didn’t walk away. He sat down next to him and waited at least long enough to light up a smoke until Gary woke up. Then they worked together to defeat a common enemy. Gary must’ve made a good enough impression on Hank so that he could later appeal to Enrico Matassa to save the Monarch from being shot in season 7. And after robbing Hatred blind for years, Hatred ended up bonding with Gary. Even if it was just for a moment. He’s the nice guy Dean wishes he was. Side note - Gary in only a loincloth and mask keeps me up at night. Why doesn’t this man have more bitches? How has RUSTY seen more action than Gary. I’ll volunteer guys don’t worry I’m on it.

7. Suiting up

Please see my meow meow edit.

But seriously how does Gary just know everything? He knew about Enzo’s, he knew about Teddy at Dunwitch, he made it his job to know what’s good and he’s good at it. What’s more impressive than his physical glow up is how loyal and competent he’s become. He’s a guy that will it handle it. How? He’ll just handle it don’t worry about it.

6. Kano

Amazing. Phenomenal. A masterpiece. Gary as Kano was setting boundaries. He was addressing his trauma. He was competent and cool and he looked so damn good. And most importantly, IT WAS HIS IDEA! The Monarch didn’t want to dress up as his dead dad. Monarch wanted to do the same old “I’ll get you Dr. Venture” schtick. Gary came up with the idea to be bad guys dressed as good guys so they can kill bad guys so they can arch a good guy. Are you following along? Because Gary sure is.

5. S.P.H.I.N.X

God I wanted this to work out for him. This phase highlighted Gary’s main motivation. It’s not to be a hero or a villain, he just wants to be a part of something. His conversation with Hatred at the end of season 5 touches on that. When he was 1/2 of a nameless duo that was good enough for him. Being a leader after 24 died didn’t seem to satisfy him. He pursued a relationship with Dr. Mrs. but was rejected. He tried to follow Brock to the OSI but wasn’t accepted. He tried rebuilding a new team but was betrayed. I don’t know if he knew going back to the Monarch was the right choice, but it ended up being what he needed. The Monarch needed a new number 2 and Gary needed a new best friend. This all led up to his speech in his last scene during the last episode of season 7, which makes me appreciate this arc even more. 

4. Gary breaks the 4th wall

21 and 24 aren’t “invulnerable” despite what the Monarch thought. There are many instances in the show that shows exactly how these two idiots survived. They know the game. Gary reads the comics and watches the movies and plays the video games. And unlike Henchman 1, he can see a cliché coming. He’s a henchman and he knows exactly what that means, and it’s not worth dying for. He’s not the main character, he knows the good guys always win, so he hauls his ass out of whatever situation he’s in and hides so he can live another day. He can practically see the plot unfolding before him. He was competent long before his transformation whether he wanted to admit it or not. That’s why he didn’t buckle his seatbelt.

3. Gary climbs the Rocky Steps

I think we all agree that Gary’s transformation was one of the best developments in the show. He loved and he lost. Then he took a hard look in the mirror and decided to change. Season 4 Gary was motivated by grief. But what I love about him is that it didn’t turn him into a mean, cruel, jaded guy. He got dieseled and went back to the cocoon to make it a better place for himself and for all the other henchman. This was the ultimate taking of responsibility. Something we hadn’t seen in most of the other characters at the time.

2. Gary drives Dr. Girlfriend back to the cocoon.

I know what you’re thinking. Why did op put this random ass scene in the top 3? Because this is when Gary became my favorite character. I don’t care that he fought Brock (I still think it was awesome). I don’t care that he became General 21. When he was babbling about spin art to someone who could not care less, but he was just exited and thought it was cool, and I know he thought going from talking about their failed attempt to paint the car to spin art made sense in his head. It made sense to me. I remember being a kid and seeing this scene and realizing that whoever made this cartoon really understood me. That’s why he was so distraught when 24 sided with Killinger and devastated when he died. When you’re like that, it feels like nobody understands you and everybody thinks you’re weird. It took me forever to realize that a lot of people react similarly to Dr. Girlfriend, annoyed. So you learn to turn that side of you off. Gary didn’t have to do that because he had 24. And even though he had his glow up, that side of him remained intact. It’s one of the best aspects of his character. 

Also because I would play with my Cra-Z-Art spin art toy for hours it’s such a strange specific memory that this scene unlocked for me.

And finally….

1. You already know

Gary in sweatpants sent me through a second puberty. That’s it.

There are so many other moments that deserve to be in my top 10. Gary’s fight with Brock, Gary suiting up after the Monarch’s jail break, that moment at 15 where he just decided to stay with a guy that kidnapped him and work for him for the rest of his life. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I think Gary has one of the best written character arcs ever. I hope we get to see more of him one day. Everyone please support the movie when it comes out.

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 11/07

[ I have a list of fanworks to send after the end of Hivebent but feel free to send more :D - Cat ]

That’ll be a fun diversion! Yeah, definitely send them on!

Honestly, the fucked up Fetch Moduses was a big part of what got me hooked initially. Programming trivia used as an in-universe mechanic? I mean, come on. 

Good idea. My anime-addled brain initially pronounced Karkat as Kakorot...

I watched the first two(?) seasons in a single day when I was a student. I remember thinking the weapons were cool as shit, but I clearly wasn’t hooked enough to continue. 

I mean, tell me this doesn’t look like an alchemy weapon.

You know, I’ve never actually seen Homestar Runner? I think I confused it with Homestuck a lot before I started reading the latter.

Honestly! I’ve come to accept that that’s just how they communicate. 

Maybe they’ll start to relax when they’ve been out of Alternia for a while, but I’m not holding my breath.  

Oh, they’re good. Guns & Roses is a fucking excellent RoseJade ship name. 

You have my blessing to use the LeaderShip, but damn.... Communism is pretty amazing. 

Yeah, I think you’re probably right. I don’t think the ‘Grief = Crabdad is doomed’ thing was intentional, but damn is it good. 

Ok, that makes a lot more sense. ‘Freak of nature’ usually denotes an abnormal or unnatural life form, so I wonder if that implies the Lusi were engineered by Alternia, who wanted a biotech nanny monster to automatically raise their little soldiers.

And I’m not the only one wondering this, it seems! 

Honestly, the entire troll life cycle reeks of bioengineering, so I think this is actually pretty likely. The Mother Grub ensures that as many trolls are born as possible, the Trials ensure these trolls are as brutal as possible, and the Lusus ensures that trolls don’t need to waste time raising children. 

@iris-in-the-dark-world asked: i just realized that jade's tower looks like one of the moon towers from the frog temple [snipped for spoilers - C ] 

Yup. We already know her house is a copy of a Prospitian Dream Building, and this is another example of Grandpa’s house following the ‘Sburban architectural style’.

It hasn’t been explained yet, but I guess the default explanation is that Grandpa built it this way on purpose. Who knows why. 

[ yeah, friendsim isn’t canon but this is implied there xD - Cat ] 

Space empires have no need for flying machines that can’t destroy the enemy’s planets!

‘They’re a military state’ explains it all, really. 

Sburb can hit any civilization, including ones which would be the villains of a sci-fi movie.

They’re awfully amorphous, aren’t they? Maybe that’s her real psychic power. 

I’m just going to assume the shape we see in her main sprite is the canon one.

This was the real Mistake.

Noted - I was probably just going to keep doing what I was doing - reading the full comic while omitting quotes with slurs. It’s not like I need to include them to analyze the comic, or anything.

Does the fact that I’m considering making theme music for my ‘sona change anything? 👀

Probably not any time soon - I do not understand FL Studio - but maybe eventually. Gotta give her the full set of Homestuck patterns!

One thing I’m not is the Blogger of Consistency. Rest assured, I’ll always come back when the hyperfocus returns time is right. 

Thank you! My blog is a safe space for lurkers of all kinds. I’ve certainly done my fair share of lurking.

Gamzee is the first pattern breaker of the trolls. Gamzee x Jade confirmed??

Haha, but no, these patterns are really more like guidelines these days. Terezi already doesn’t have a lusus, and TA quit his own introduction page in a huff. We can’t be 100% sure that any of these will hold anymore. 

That’s the closest thing to a ‘canon’ pronunciation of Terezi’s name as we’re going to get - although, really, it’s up to the reader. 

If any class would just have things given to them, it would be the Heir. John is much more likely to react to things than be pro-active, and I think the fact that he has a class that evokes just being given things is deliberate. 

This is why I don’t think GA is Vriska. She just doesn’t have that X-factor.

Literally how. HOW did Homestuck characters get into a Namco game.

Is it a fangame? This is so funny to me for some reason, it feels like two streams that should never ever cross, but I suppose Toby Fox has done some music for Nintendo before...

Yeah, the tumblr mobile app is a mess. I’ve tried to make liveblog posts on it before, but it’s much too fiddly, and it completely breaks my workflow. The mobile browser works fine - it actually respects the custom HTML on my theme - but I doubt the app is even using HTML. 

The green background fixes the hyperlink contrast issues - and as a bonus, I actually really like it. I’m keeping it. 

[trashheappro]

The Anomaly - Ch. 7

Ch: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

Gwen dragged herself back home from a mission with the Spider Society. She tried to insert herself in as many missions as possible if it involved an anomaly. A part of her foolishly hoped she would see Miles, but she doubted Miguel would authorize her if he did pop up again. 

I’m The Anomaly, and you can address me as such.

Nearly a week had passed since then and there had been no sign of Miles nor the Spot. Miguel was pissed that her, Pav, and Hobie showed up. But even he couldn’t really complain after Peter B insisted that they saved him from Miles. Buuuut, he got angry all over again when he remembered they were the ones to convince Peter B to let Miles out of the containment unit. 

I can’t believe you fell for that.

She didn’t know what to believe. Miles would never–

You never really knew me.

Maybe there wasn’t anything to believe, only the truth. Miles was working with the Spot for revenge. She never thought– 

She never wanted it to be this way. She didn’t want to hide from Miles, but with everything going on back then… She was just trying to survive. The Society had become her new home and even with her flaws, they accepted her, so why shouldn’t she accept them along with all theirs. 

And as much as it pained her to admit, she benefited where Miles lost. Seeing him breakdown, weeping into the shoulder of his father’s cooling corpse, pushed her to go see her own father. Even if reconciliation wasn’t possible, just to see him… She missed him. 

When she had landed back on Earth-65, she found her father was still very much alive and well. He had quit being police captain and he wasn’t going to arrest her and he wanted to support her and she was still his baby girl and he still loved her. 

Gwen had crashed into him in a hug, having to mentally remind herself to keep her strength down, so that it wouldn’t be bone crushing. For as much as she put on a devil may care persona, she had missed him.

Gwen landed on the wall outside her bedroom and crawled inside. The smell of dinner wafted under her nose. Spaghetti and meatballs. With a pep in her step she swung the door open, freezing at the sight of the person standing in the middle of her kitchen. 

Miles had a bowl in one hand and a fork in the other. “Hey,” he said with a dopey smile. He was taller than she remembered. Guess when the only chance you get to see someone is in battle, you don’t really get a chance to fully take stock of them. In the light of her living room, she could see his artistic hand in the design. The sleek black with the dash of color really screamed Miles Morales. 

Then it had to be a more elaborate brainwashing, if it was brainwashing to begin with... I chose this. In fact, this was my idea. 

“Hope you don’t mind,” Miles stepped towards her, “got kind of hungry and your dad made plenty.”

Her brain struggled to keep up. “Where’s my dad?”

“Out,” was his simple response. He sat at the dining table and started twirling his pasta. “But hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

“Where’s…” 

“The Spot?” He gestured for her to sit. “Not here. I wanted to do this on my own, ya know?”

Yeah, maybe she did. No Miguel, no Peter B asking all the questions and controlling the flow of conversation. “Sure.” She took the seat across from him. “What did you want to talk about?”

He finished chewing before answering. “Not hungry?”

Yes. “Not really.”

“If you say so.” He chomped on another forkful. “So, I noticed your dad’s still alive.” 

She looked down at her lap, guilt freshly brought to the forefront. “Yeah.”

“And you’re living with him again.”

“Yeah, we talked it out.”

“That’s nice.” 

“Yeah.” This was not much of a conversation. Maybe this was why Peter B was in charge of talking. 

“I’m surprised the Society hasn’t killed him yet”

“That’s not what we do!” indignation clear in her voice. 

“Sure, sure.” He stabbed a meatball. “So how is he alive? Because if I recall correctly, wasn’t he a police captain?”

“Yeah.” How eloquent, Gwendolyn. 

Miles laughed. “This isn’t much of a talk.” He kept eating, waiting for Gwen to continue.

She fidgeted in her chair. “He quit,” she murmured. “After I left with the Spider Society, he resigned as police captain.” She shrugged. “We think it was a loophole in the canon.”

Miles’ fork scraped against the bottom of the nearly empty bowl. “Is that so?”

Her lips twisted, anxious. “Listen, Miles. I know a lot happened, but this isn’t the way to go about it.”

“I disagree.”

“Miles, you’re a hero. You saved the multiverse!”

“I’ve collapsed enough universes to negate that title.” He got up to put the bowl away in the sink. 

“I get that you’re angry, but–”

“I’m past angry, Gwen. This whole thing feels natural.” He waved his hand around searching for the word. “It’s meditative.”

“The Miles I knew wouldn’t have done this!”

He rolled his eyes. “I said it last time, didn’t I? You don’t actually know me.”

She shot out of her chair. “No! I mean– yes, but you’re my friend! And it doesn’t matter if it was one week or ten years, we’re friends!”

He chuckled. “Maybe in another life. Have you told any of the other Spiders I’m here?”

“No, I haven’t.” If this was some sort of test, she’d do her damnedest to pass it. If there was even the smallest chance she could get Miles to come back from this. She had to try.

“Cool. Wanna swing around for a bit?”

“Yeah, ok.” She left her mask on the dining table, chasing after Miles as he flung himself out the window. She hurried, not wanting to lose sight of him. He flipped lazily into a swing. “Still use webs even if you’re not Spiderman?” It comes out teasing, but there was still a hint of hope in her voice; that maybe the Miles she knew was still in there deep down. 

“Sure, even if that’s not who I am anymore, might as well take the useful stuff with me.” He said as if he was moving onto college instead of becoming a murderous villain. “I thought about trying out like a metal grapple wire instead, I’d never run out and we’d never have to make pit stops to make more, but the properties are different and–”

“Less reliable to stick?”

“Yeah, exactly!” He hopped from streetlamp to streetlamp. “We considered making it with nanotech to mitigate that, but there’s just somethings you can’t do without it being webs, ya know?”

She chuckled. “Yeah, I know.”

“I mean, we’re brainstorming some things, workshopping some stuff. I guess it is better to move away from the Spider motif.”

Gwen frowned. “Because you’re not Spiderman anymore?”

Miles smiled. “Because I’m not Spiderman anymore.” He let his next swing arch up, flinging himself high into the sky, and twisting as he reached his apex. He whooped and did a twirl. “I missed this!” he said over the rushing winds. “I don’t get to swing like this as much as I used to!”

“Why not?” Did the Spot keep him from returning to his Spiderman roots? Was the Spot telling to move away from being more like Spiderman?

“Swinging is fun, but portaling is more efficient.” He relaxed into the freefall. “And when we’re scouting, the swinging gives me away.”

“Scouting?”

“Stealing tech, stalking the universe’s Spider, breaking into Alchemex, things like that.”

Her heart sank. It soured the atmosphere. He just had to remind her that he was very much still a villain. She had to remind herself of that too. This wasn’t a simple friendly visit from Miles.

“So instead of being a hero and saving lives, your day to day has become stealing?” Bitterness evident in her voice.

It didn’t put him off his good mood. “Yes and no. Mr. Ohnn’s teaching me a lot too.”

“Like what? How to look ugly in cargo shorts?” 

Miles laughed. “I told him to get an actual suit; he looks stupid running around with me, but hey, the man made his choices.” The blue moonlight reflected off his cheekbones as he grinned. “But I’m learning a lot about physics and mechanical engineering from him too. It’s really interesting!” 

She raised a brow. “He has time to teach you physics?”

“We move around a lot, but we take breaks and work on things.”

Yeah, that made sense. Miles and Spot– well, maybe not the Spot, was still human. He still had needs. Maybe she can make him feel like she was a safe space, that if anything went bad with the Spot he could always come back to her. “I can see that. Your suit is nice.”

“Thanks! I designed it myself!” Miles grinned from ear to ear, genuine joy, unlike the one filled with resentment last time she saw him. 

It pulled a smile out of Gwen. This was Miles. This was her Miles. “Of course you did.”

“Of course I did. I mean, have you seen Mr. Ohnn’s fit? Can barely let the man pick his own clothes.” Miles nearly fell off his line with how hard he was laughing. 

It was infectious. Gwen caught the giggles along with him. “You’re the only one who can do something about it.”

He scoffed. “A grown man should not need me to dress him.”

Miles’ eyes practically glittered in the moonlight. He was so alive swinging in the night streets of her New York. The reflective windows of the skyscrapers only had eyes for them. Their movements were fluid, so clearly in their element of concrete and crowded skylines. They were so obviously Spiders. Miles was Spiderman and his denial could not change that.

“Miles,” her voice carried through the crisp air. “Is this really you?”

“Of course it’s me, what are you talking about, girl?” He shoved her shoulder. 

It nudged her off course, but her experience helped her keep her arc. “Are you sure you’re not brainwashed or mind altered or some sort of memory tampering?” she pleaded. “Because– because–”

“Because I feel more like the me you knew?” He smiled at her with a familiar warmth. “That’s the point. I need you to understand that this, that everything I’ve done, that everything I will do, has been done by this me you see now.” He pulled himself forward, getting ahead of her. 

She copied him to keep up. “But what if that’s what the Spot wants you to think?”

“Gwen, when I saw him again, I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t scared. I didn’t feel anything.” Miles’ eyes were bright, his face expressive, like the Spot finding him was a good memory as opposed to horrifying. “Before I met him again, I was just,” he struggled for the word, “numb to everything. But the thing that made me feel something for the first time in months was Miguel.”

Her brows furrowed. “Miguel?”

“Yeah. Just the thought of him made me pissed.” His features remained soft, like the memory was fond rather than rage inducing like the words implied. “So I asked the Spot if he was down to work together.” He shot her a grin over his shoulder. “Obviously he agreed.”

“That’s it?” Gwen asked incredulously. Being pissed at Miguel warranted all this? He had killed billions and for what? 

“What? You were expecting more?”

“Miles, you were Spiderman. You are Spiderman,” she was stern, mimicking something her father would say. “And you’ve hurt people. I get that you’re hurt and that we did you wrong, but that doesn’t excuse what you’ve done.”

“I don’t expect it to. If you’d seen me…” His voice strained. “I was always going to become a villain, Mr. Ohnn just helped me aim that aggression.” Miles launched off the side of the building. 

Gwen had to make a sharp turn not to lose him. “I know that it’s a hard ask, Miles, but–” How does she word this without sounding like an asshole? “I’m not saying to forgive us right off the bat, but at least let us try to earn it. Not for us, but for yourself. This isn’t you.”

He cackled. “I guess that’s what happens when you run out of positive role models in your life.” He finally touched down in front of a building, turning on his heel to face her. The joy from his face earlier, hardened into a stare that pinned Gwen in her place. “My Peter Parker was going to teach me, but he was killed because of canon.” Words hissed as he forced out every word through teeth. “My uncle was the one person who supported my artistic vision, and canon killed him.” His voice teetered on a yell.  “Peter B left me and even when he had the chance to come see me, he chose not to.” His lips peeled back in a snarl. “My father was the only good man I had left in my life, and canon killed him!” Fury burned in his eyes. His gloves creaked in her ears as he clenched his fists at his sides. “My mom was the last piece of my heart left AND THEY TOOK HER FROM ME!”

Gwen stood frozen. Miles' chest heaved, his eyes wild. He shifted in her direction. She recoiled. His pupils dilated. Predator spotting prey. He took one deep breath and reset his posture. A manic grin spread across his face, one that matched the fake one he spray painted on his mask. 

“I’m glad I got to see you again, Gwen. I’m glad I got to see all of you that day,” Miles said, eyes alight with venom. “I had become stagnant. I was just collapsing universes hoping for, what? To hurt someone? Everyone?” He scoffed. “I don’t want to just hurt anyone.” He smacked his forehead, replicating the moment it dawned on him. “Seeing you all, it reminded me of that. It reminded me why I’m doing this.” He chuckled. “I hate you.” He took one step forward. She took one step back. “I hate all of you. And I’m going to make you suffer.”

“Miles–”

He held up a finger. “Nuh ah uh. Villain monologue.” He gestured behind them. “Do you know where we are, Gwen?”

Her eyes trailed up the building, horror filling her brick by brick. The air left her lungs when they finally landed on the yellow glow of the clock at the very top. No. Oh no. Her muscles locked. Her feet froze in place. 

“Did you know that about 75% of the multiverses’ Gwens die here? At least the ones I’ve observed.” He stepped closer. The light from the clocktower outlining him in a halo. 

She dropped into a fighting stance, every centimeter of her skin crawling. This was not good. The situation spun out of control and she needed backup. 

Miles raised his hands up placatingly. “I’m not here to fight, Gwen. I’m here to set things right, because I care.”

She brought her watch behind her back and pressed the emergency button. 

“That’s fine.” 

How did he know?

“But your dad doesn’t have a lot of time left.” 

Dread filled her gut. “What did you do to him?!”

“Well, nothing if you manage to save him.” He was grinning. It was wrong. It didn’t suit his face. Not like the easy smiles. He pointed up. “You have a minute. Your father’s at the top.” He gave her a cheeky wink. “Go save him.”

“If you think I’m stupid enough–!” She launched herself to the door, but her head smacked into an invisible field. She stumbled back onto her ass. “Wha–?”

“I know you’re not stupid, Gwen. I know you’ve seen this play out a hundred times.” He hovered over her. “I have too.”

She wasn’t going to fall for it. She knew going up there would essentially kill her dad. She ran around the building trying to find another weakness. Her hand bounced off the forcefield. Ok, a window. She tried to web up to a window, but her web bounced off too. 

“Forty seconds.”

There had to be some sort of emitter somewhere, but she couldn’t see anything that could be one. She swung around the building twice, looking for whatever was keeping her from getting in there. But nothing. There was nothing. 

“Twenty five.”

Anxiety caught in her throat. “No.”

“Yes.” Miles appeared next to her staring up at the top. “Twenty.”

“Don’t do this, Miles!”

“Then get up there.”

“Miles!” 

“Eighteen!”

She launched herself up. She webbed the ledge, landing next to the skylight. Her father’s blue eyes met hers, lighting up with hope. “Dad!”

“Gwen!” His cuffed hands reached out to her. 

The line holding her father cut. He fell. He was falling. An explosion, the beams rattled, and metal fell loose. Gwen smashed through the skylight. Her father’s eyes grew wide. Worry creased his brows like desperation drew hers. She still had eyes on her dad. She could do this. She had to do this. 

She kept her hands at her side. Reduce wind friction. Fuck the webs, that never worked out for any of the other Gwen Stacys. Catch him. Absorb the force in the fall. Cradle his head and neck. DON'T LET ANYTHING SNAP. 

Gwen pushed off gears. She was gaining on him. He reached out his hands to her. Catch him! Anything that fell on top of them she could tank. It didn’t matter if the whole building collapsed on her. She could take it. She just had to catch him. Just catch him! CATCH HIM. 

The ground was fast approaching. She reached out to him. Hope. In his eyes and hers.  She could do this. She was so close. So close. Just reach him. REACH HIM. 

The tips of their fingers brushed. She got this. She had him. She had him!

The slightest pressure hit the back of her left calf. Her hand closed around air. Her father’s eyes widened. The ocean blue was so vivid. A crack echoed throughout the clocktower. Gwen remained suspended in the air. The metal debris crashed around her, around her dad. 

Ah. His body shouldn’t be bent that way.

The line holding her up snapped. She failed to catch herself, crashing into her dad’s still body. She scrambled to push herself up onto fours. “Dad?” She couldn’t even hear the squeaked words escape her. 

She lifted her hand to touch his cheek. The white of her suit came up red. Her hands shook. “Dad.” His head– His eyes– Where did the ocean blue go? They were dull looking past her. No. Not him. Not him too. Don’t take him too.

Miles’ feet didn’t make a sound as he landed. His boots disturbed the red pool around her as he approached. He crouched down next to her. He patted her shoulder twice in false sympathy. 

No. No he– Miles– He wouldn’t. Her dad wasn’t– He was going to be fine. Miles just did this to scare her. He wasn’t– This wasn’t–

Blood seeped into the fabric of her knees. Her hand felt stiff with drying blood. Her father’s crusting blood. Her father’s chest wasn’t moving. She was scared to bring her hand up to feel for a pulse. “No,” she croaked. “No. No. No.” 

His blond hair was stained with red. Splattered around his head in a morbid crown. “Dad,” the hoarse plead begged for the impossible. 

Miles grabbed her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. His honeyed brown eyes, usually so filled with life, were stone cold. “Mourn him like I mourned mine and understand why forgiveness was never an option.”

He brushed himself off, boots squeaking in the blood, her father’s blood, as he turned to the Spot. The Spot? When did he get here? Miles waved. “Bye, Gwen.” And they disappeared through a bubbling black portal. 

[rainnotliam]

“What do you want? Que quieres?”

“…”

“I’m not in the mood to deal with you, cállate!”

Notes:

Pardon me for not drawing anything for so long, I barely had the motivation to do this and god did I struggle. I made so many mistakes but the lighting makes it seem like almost none were made. Holy Arceus, my eraser is dead. Also, the drawing was from an idea I had, small story below:

He was absolutely distraught by how much attention he was still gaining. It seemed like the title of “Professor’s son” wasn’t going away anytime soon.

“Hey! Oyeme!“

Arven bit his bottom lip, trying to ignore the call.

“Don’t ignore me, I know you can hear me Professor boy!”

The nickname hit Arven harder than he expected. He turned, only to find a boy about his age, wearing a smug look on his face. He was sitting on the edge of the school stairway, the most close cause you could find yourself towards death than anything.

“Yeah, you. Come over here!”

Arven didn’t move. He didn’t want to will himself over to the boy. He didn’t want to pressure himself back to the world he didn’t want to belong to.

He didn’t want to go over.

Yet his body moved forward, mind numbing slowly as he reached his classmate. Each step ripped away at his pride, trying not to fall awry.

“What do you want?” Arven said.

“Nothing.” The boy smiled. It was the most hideous thing Arven could ever imagine. “Just wanted to see how our school’s oh so famous prestigious student is doing.”

The notion ticked him off slightly, though he knew better than to retaliate.

“Oh? And I’d like to know when that big mouth of yours had the time to shut up and learn the meaning of those words,” Arven responded sarcastically.

The smile faded away. “At least I don’t go home crying about my half dead dog, wishing my dad would come back home, wishing he’d like me better as his son-”

“I’m not in the mood to deal with you, cállate!”

“Going to call dear dad on your Rotom phone? I bet you don’t even have his contact in because of how much of an embarrassment you are. Jeez, what a useless son, I’d be ashamed to even see your face. With that dream of yours too? God what a useless cook.”

Arven’s throat tightened up, his fists curling at his sides. He swore he wasn’t going to pay attention to the taunts anymore, he swore he was going to start his life better.

Why was his vision getting blurrier then?

“But of course the director hasn’t kicked you out, because of special ‘circumstances.’ All because your famous Turo’s son.”

His breath hitched.

“Isn’t that right?” He could hear the boy calling out to other fellow classmates. “Arven hasn’t even faced punishment for half his exams, he doesn’t even need to retake them!”

“His dream, his sueño too though.” Another student joined in. “What’s the use of being a cook if you don’t have half the brains to fill up a cup? Pendejo.”

Arven grit his teeth, trying to keep the tears welled up in his eyes from dropping. Why was he still standing here? Why was he still accepting the insults?

His fists finally made way to his chest, but clutched tightly to the straps of his backpack instead.

“Usless, useless, useless. But that’s a Professor’s son for you I guess.” The boy had swung onto his feet, jumping right onto the steps.

“Let’s leave the crybaby here then, I bet he won’t even show up to class after bawling.”

Laughter ensued, footsteps could be heard walking away from the scene. Arven had his head down, fingers curled around the yellow straps.

Arceus, why him? Porque el?

What did he do to deserve this? What did he do to have such a terrible life to hurt him- punish him?

Arven slowly descended from the school staircase, his mouth partly open from the sheer shock of the bullying.

There was no hiding it.

He really was a useless son.

A pathetic human being, worth nothing over to live for. A useless son with a useless dream, to be a useless cook.

Hot tears ran down his cheeks, as he could only accept the fate that would continue on.

(As you noticed however, I decided to show Arven’s strong side in the drawing. No worries though, will draw him crying soon enough. A redraw though because I hate the one I drew)

[teecupangel]

I figured since it's four days before my big upload, I can give you guys sneak peeks of what to expect on Wednesday?

One sneak peek per day.

Here's the first one: Epilogue of Zero Eclipse

And, since it's... 30k... have multiple scenes, I guess?

“Do you see the line where the sky and sea meet?” Altaïr asked the young boy sitting on his shoulders, “That’s called the horizon.”

“Horizon…” The boy repeated, lips curving into a cheerful grin as he remembered, “Papa told me about it! He said that that’s just as far as our eyes can see!”

“That’s right.” Altaïr nodded with a small proud smile decorating his face. He pointed at the horizon as he explained, “What we see is not the entirety of things. Beyond the horizon lies the open sea.”

“Have you been to the open sea, father?” The boy asked curiously.

“I have traveled a lot but this would personally be my longest voyage yet,” Altaïr admitted.

“You’re not scared?” The boy asked and Altaïr felt the boy’s grip on his hood tighten, “You don’t know what’s out there.”

“Darim…” Altaïr placed one hand over the boy’s fist and gently said, “It’s alright to feel scared at times, especially for things you do not know or are unsure of. It does not make you a coward. It is how you deal with your fear that shows the kind of person you are. Whether you run away from it or you hold your ground and face it head-on, both are acceptable actions.”

“What if I don’t know what to do or I’m not sure if I’m doing it right?” Darim asked quietly.

“Then you ask those you trust.” Altaïr replied gently, “If you are lost or you are unsure, the people you trust will be your guiding light.”

Darim was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Can I always ask you, father?”

Altaïr’s lips curved into a soft smile and he squeezed the boy’s fist gently, “Of course, my son. I will always be here for you.”

Altaïr felt a small child suddenly hug his leg from the side and he looked down. He placed both hands on Darim’s legs to keep him stable and smiled down at the child hugging his leg as he stared at Altaïr with his big innocent eyes. He let go of one of Darim’s legs and patted the boy’s curly dark hair as he asked, “How did you get here, little one? Did you run away from papa again?”

“Up!” The small child shouted as he let go of Altaïr’s leg and jumped with his arms held up. 

“I don’t know…” Altaïr hummed, “I don’t think I should reward you for running away from papa again.”

The small child’s big eyes glistened and his lips trembled as he whimpered, “Want pade. Pwease?”

========================

“There’s this stupid saying that people will day 7 minutes without oxygen, 7 days without water and 7 weeks without food. It’s stupid because it’s not true at all. The human body is more fragile and complex that an arbitrary number cannot be used as a catch-all.”

“You’re using complex words I don’t understand again.”

“It is more accurate to give approximations when summarizing how long it would take for a human body to cease all function.”

“Just call it dying. You already said that before.”

“An average human body can survive without oxygen for approximately 5 minutes. After that 5 minutes are up, that’s when the body’s brain cells start to die, and… well… perhaps 7 minutes is a good number to guess when you will die.”

“Please stop saying I’ll die.”

“Dying of thirst, on the other hand, would probably take about 3 to 4 days. Once you get over your thirst-”

“Please stop.”

“-it won’t be as uncomfortable. You might even get lucky and faint once your organs begin to shut down.”

“That’s… not nice.”

“You will probably survive without food for 1 to 2 months.”

“That’s around 7 weeks, isn’t it?”

“… Barely.”

“So what you’re saying is that the saying ‘7 minutes, 7 days, and 7 weeks’ isn’t exactly wrong. Each one is close enough to this approximation of yours anyway.”

“No. Don’t twist my words.”

“I’m not! You’re the one with this weird vendetta over a saying that I have never even heard before!”

“That’s because it hasn’t been invented yet!”

“So you’re complaining about a saying that hasn’t been invented yet? Why?! You do know that this means you just invented it, right?”

“What.”

“You’re the first person to ever speak of such a saying which means you just invented it!”

“I am- No! I refuse to be noted as the one to have said such a ridiculous saying! You take that back!”

“Allah, please help me.”

“God cannot save us.”

“I am not asking Allah to save me. I am asking Him to give me the strength to not hit you on the head so you’d finally shut up.”

“… Careful, cousin, your Al-Sayf is showing.”

“You can blame your Ibn-La'Ahad-ness for that!”

========================

Edward glanced at the man they call a ‘sage’ and at the many guards surrounding them before turning to face Torres as he asked, “Such a fuss over one man. Is the Observatory really such a grand prize?”

Torres nodded as he continued to walk, “Yes, indeed. The Observatory was a tool built by the Precursor race. Its worth is without measure.”

“Precursor race…” Edward repeated as he tried to not show his interest too much, “I see.”

“One of your early letters mentioned that you had a lead on where the current grand mentors are.” Torres remembered and asked, “Were you able to find their location before coming here?”

“I... I had not, no.” Edward replied, lying through his teeth as vaguely as he could to make it believable, “Too many... complications along the way.”

“A pity but not at all surprising. They have always hidden in the shadows and their influence and power in the old world continue to grow but they still haven’t sunk their claws here in the West Indies too deeply. And the maps you delivered with the blood vial will see that job finished before they do.” Torres concluded with such certainty in his tone that it unnerved Edward.

“Aye.” Edward nodded as he agreed anyway, “That’s the idea.”

Woodes walked closer to them as they reached a busy street, making the guards ahead of them order the people to clear out, “I don’t like this route, Torres. We're exposed.”

“Something is wrong. Stay close, Grand Master!” Julien shouted as he stepped closer to Torres.

Edward could feel someone watching him. He had been feeling it for a while now but he had assumed that it was the guards around them but now that the guards had turned to face outward and look all around, he could still feel eyes on him.

It seemed Torres felt it took because he said, “I feel it too. Do not let them get their hands on the Sage! At whatever cost!”

At those words, the guards fanned out to cover more ground as they continued their way back to Torres’ residence.

Edward could still feel that unnerving feeling of eyes following him and he raised his head to look at the rooftops. There was no one there.

He glanced around and…

Were there fewer guards than there were before?

Edward couldn’t be sure but he remembered there was supposed to be a guard stationed by that cart of haystacks.

Was he wrong?

No.

Something was definitely wrong.

Edward took a deep breath before he blinked and the world was washed in a sea of gray. His eyes widened as he realized that everyone around him was shrouded in a red glow but he kept his calm, understanding that this was because he was deceiving them.

That was when he noticed a glowing golden figure on one of the rooftops.

And one behind Edward.

There was a loud sound that seemed to mimic a bird of prey’s cry but Edward had heard enough birds in his life to know that it was a man’s mimicry of a bird’s cry. 

A second later, the ten forms glowing white and the gold-glowing form on the rooftop fell on top of them, taking out most of the remaining guards. 

“Assassins!” Woodes shouted, “Above! They’re on the rooftops!”

“Watch the streets and alleys. They could be anywhere!” Julien shouted as well as they charged the one who glowed gold, seemingly knowing that he was the most dangerous of all.

“Protect the Sage!” Torres reminded them. That was when the other golden form moved and Edward intercepted him as he rushed toward the man they called a sage. He tried to grab the form’s arm but he was faster, dodging out of the way and Edward unholstered his pistol and aimed it in the golden form’s direction just in time to see the form throw something to the ground.

========================

There was something in France that was messing up with Desmond’s connection with the calculations. It was like he was blocked from accessing any calculations if it concerned France. And it only started around 1766. Whatever was happening in France, something was blocking Desmond from checking the calculations.

Or someone.

========================

NotKeiraKnightley: hey 44. saw ur post. howd u even find those docs?

You (GuyFawkes44): A gentleman never tells. Also, your grammar is as bad as usual.

NotKeiraKnightley: part of my charm. but srsly did u hack into some private server or smth?

You (GuyFawkes44): Perhaps. Why are you so curious all of a sudden?

You (GuyFawkes44): Let me guess. You like knights?

NotKeiraKnightley: nah. im more of an assassin kinda gal

You (GuyFawkes44): How femme fatale of you.

NotKeiraKnightley: but you should be more careful. secret societies like the templars are hidden deep underground for a reason.

You (GuyFawkes44): Worried about me, KK? Now you’re making me blush.

NotKeiraKnightley: I’m serious. Look. The Templars are bad news, okay?

You (GuyFawkes44): It almost sound lik

Knock, knock.

========================

[doublefaceliker2808]

Spring Evening's Respite - Adasakura 3

 

Hinata: Ooi, Oukawa-kun! I figured it’ll help us relax, so I got us some carbonated  drinks ♪

Do you want grape or orange? 

Kohaku: Nn~ I don’t really mind either, so ya can go with whichever ya prefer. 

Hinata: Nope! You have to make your own choice! 

If you keep being indecisive like this, then you won’t be able to decide on your project even in your dreams, y’know? 

Well then, how’s it going? Any plans for your project yet? 

Kohaku: …Still no good. Just like before, my mind’s completely blank. 

All the performances I’ve been in before were set up by other people. I’ve gotta sinkin’ feelin’ that the audience won’t be satisfied by a live planned by just me alone. 

Hinata: Fumufumu. I have ideas I could write down… at least a few, I think. I’m glad my brain hasn’t stopped thinking completely. 

You’d think planning would be much simpler, but it sure is surprisingly complicated~ You gotta take things one step at a time ♪

Kohaku: Hinata-han, yer real kind. But ya know, I’m never gonna catch my footin’ if yer not more frank ‘bout what ya think. 

Hinata: Hmm~ you’re right. I’ll let you know if I like what you lay out, then. 

So far, all of your ideas look like the ones Crazy:B did before, so they’ve got kind of a rehashed feeling. I can see why you don’t look satisfied with them right now. 

But still, I get what it’s like to do something like this for the first time, and I’m sure that if you keep trying you’ll think up of some good ideas soon!

Kohaku: I don’t need any weird comfort, Hinata-han. 

Even I, who started this project, know that it’s far from bein’ finished. If we don’t accept the facts as they are, it’s gonna end with us still idlin’ away. 

If I end up makin’ a project like that, I won’t be able to face all the fans who cheered me on. 

Hinata: Ahaha, you’re quite realistic in these areas, aren’t you? With how straight-forward you tend to be, I feel like you’ve got a real good grasp on the situation. 

Kohaku: Well, if ya have to deal with bein’ with Rinne-han, it happens quite naturally. That fella really likes goin’ out to real live performances with that careless attitude o’ his. 

From the first place, I only started learnin’ more ‘bout idols last year. 

All o’ my idol experience has been with the good ol’ weirdos in Crazy:B, and I barely knew anythin’ ‘bout the other idols I worked with myself.

Not to mention, bein’ able to hype up the audience– I’ve still no idea how stuff like that works. 

Hinata: It’s okay, it’s okay! We’re still thinking things through, after all. It takes multiple days to plan things out, so don’t stress out, okay~? 

Kohaku: Mmm. guess yer right. 

Hinata: I am right! I’m telling ya, it’s okay to relax ♪ There’s no right way to go about your project, so how about thinking about it from multiple angles? 

For example… has there been anything lately that caught your eyes other than idols?

In 2wink’s case, we do street performance, so we started implementing that into our live performances as well. Do you have anything like that, Oukawa-kun?

Kohaku: Somethin’ that caught my eye lately… 

Ah, there should be. I tend to look an’ accumulate plenty o’ information from the internet, so I’m more or less in the know on what’s popular through that an’ bulletin boards. 

Hinata: Ohh, the internet’s a good idea! 

See how you came up with one idea just now? Keep that up and write down everything you find interesting ♪

What kinda stuff did you search up on the internet? 

Kohaku: I searched up a couple stuff ‘bout the outside world. I only looked at random stuff though, so there’s nothin’ specific I can think of. 

Ya could say I was just satiatin’ my curiosity. I’ve only got shallow knowledge here and there, so I dunno if I can actually use that for my plan. 

Hinata: Hmm~ guess you were just surfing the internet then? 

Some other starting points would be… My bad if it hits a sore spot, but maybe your reason for becoming an idol or how you spend time at home could be some good reference? 

Kohaku: I come from a pretty old-fashioned house hailin’ from a warrior family. My sisters more or less also taught me how to study an’ play Kemari(1).

From the first place, I’d only heard ‘bout idols from Rabu-han— I didn’t really have much interest in it when he first told me. 

So basically, I ain’t really followin’ any trends nor do I have any good quirks. 

Hinata: Ah, it is true that you’ve been rather detached from the real world. 

Could it be that you come from an expensive house like Kanzaki-senpai?

Kohaku: As though somethin’ like that could happen. ‘S not like I’ve got a high social standing. 

Though if we’re speakin’ of traditional arts, then Akatsuki and RhyLink have a real good grasp on cookin’ up traditions, bet they would be able to make a good project instead o’ me. 

Hinata: Nahhh, don’t make things go to waste~? I think Oukawa-kun’s got some really interesting roots too! 

Crazy:B put Shiina-senpai’s chef-esque personality into use in Hot Limit before, and I personally really want to see HiMERU-san’s detective show. 

Perfection can be a crucial aspect, but the person doing it is by far the most important part. For me, I’d love to see Oukawa-kun perform in a Japanese style.

…That must be it! If we can’t think of an idea, how about we both see Yuuta-kun together? 

The three of us combined could rival the Manjushri’s wisdom! What do ya think, I think it’s a pretty decent idea ♪

Kohaku: I ‘ppreciate it, Hinata-han. However, I’d feel bad if I asked y’all for help when I can’t even find the answer by myself, so I’ll have t’decline ya. 

I do wonder– How do I show off somethin’ that can only be called “Oukawa Kohaku’s”? 

Kohaku: (Now that I’ve come to this, guess I’ve got no choice but to ask “him”. The person who knows ‘bout my other side, ‘nd got plenty of idol experience himself—)

(The real question is, will he take me seriously?) 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1)  Kemari is a type of ball game similar to football that used to be especially popular back in the Heian period.

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[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

I know you like to read, so, I'm curious, do you write as well?

Hello ☺️

I do! Or I did I guess lolol. I haven’t nearly written as much as I would like to. There is a competition coming up that I wanted to start writing for, but I just have so little motivation these days, and I’m really critical of the things I write so it’s hard to feel confident about them. I thought writing fanfiction would help a bit, but I’ve had just as little motivation to do that aha. Which sucks! Because I genuinely do enjoy writing. And I had been building up a small portfolio but that’s taken a backseat as well aha. I’m really hoping I can get back into it, because it is one of my dreams to have more of my writing out there. It’s one of the things I’ve been trying the hardest to get back into with my support workers, but I think also because it’s been a while I’m a bit rusty, so you couple that won’t my low self esteem and low motivation and I just never get enough in me to keep going. Which is so counterproductive because that’s how I’ll get better lol.

I was lucky enough to get a short story if my mine published by a small indie company when I was 19. I THOUGHT that would fire me up to write but honestly I just became really self conscious of my work after that. Nothing I did felt good enough. I feel like my writing isn’t fun enough to be something people would obsess over (like it doesn’t have that fandom quality) and despite the ideas and themes I put in my work I don’t think I’m intelligent enough to pull of a gripping piece of literary fiction. So it’s in this weird middle ground area that I feel as no real appeal aha.

Last year (I think? Honestly time blends together for me) I was admitted into hospital and once I got out I got assigned a peer worker. He’s was really lovely and actually let me know about a magazine his coworker was working on for our state’s hospitals. It was a recovery magazine. He convinced me to submit something and I did (I was so depressed around that time though I could even type it up on my computer. It was all done in my notes app lolol) and I was super grateful that they accepted it! I haven’t actually heard anything about it since then though. I was supposed to get a copy of it when it was done - so it’s either taking a very long time or it’s been scrapped aha. I did message him earlier this year and he said they are still working on it. But who knows lol. Again I was hoping that would give me a bit of a boost in the self confidence area but I guess it doesn’t feel real yet, so my brain hasn’t clicked over. It did make he think about getting into more article type writing but I don’t think I’d be awfully good at that either lol.

I do really really want to get back into writing though. I have a few novels I’ve had planned for years that are really important to me and I would love to actually write one day , even if just so I can say I’ve done it and don’t actually do anything with them. But I really need to get a grip on my mental health to do that because I don’t have the energy or motivation or brain capacity at the moment aha.

Thank you for popping in! I hope you have a beautiful day 💕💕

[normaltothemax]

@lovepurposed​​

  He blinks once, and then twice for good measure, trying to let his brain catch up to spoken words, a foreign accent. Is she a sorceress? What is…Google? He shakes his head, accepting that the workings of his mind are a little dusty. Has he been poisoned? He feels well enough. He hasn’t had a drink from a strange goblet or the likes.  She will, of course, need to be taken to Camelot and dealt with, whether she is peasant or sorceress…or, a working girl. She cannot just stay out here, ready to steal the next unlucky passerby’s horse. Or go about poking people’s swords. She could be hurt.

  Warily, he sheathes his sword and unclasps his cloak, offering it to her before averting his eyes. “Please,” he asks kindly, before continuing, “Surely you must know there’s no village for at least half a day’s ride? Camelot is much closer, I can take you there. As long as you don’t mean to cause trouble or steal anyone else’s horse or food. My servant, Merlin can fetch you some proper clothes and a warm meal.  I am Prince Arthur, and I mean you no harm, only to see you to safety.  Where are you from?”

   And why so eager to escape?

  He realizes he’s been most unkind in his judgments. It is something he’s working on. A better understanding of his people, and the circumstances surrounding them. They all have stories, and it might be worthwhile to hear the girl’s if he can decipher any of the foreign words she’s using. “Speak slowly, your use of language is difficult to understand.”

God, he was really committing to this little bit, wasn’t he? He even looked confused by her words. Fuck a duck. But if that’s what it took to get her out of the damn woods, Max would suck it up and play along. Heaving a sigh, she accepted his cape and forced herself to give him a small smile and a quiet, “Thanks.” Seeing as his face was almost as red as the cape, she draped it over her shoulders and wrapped it around herself, essentially cocooning herself in it.

Whatever, she was cold anyways.

“I didn’t know that, actually. And I wasn’t stealing anything.” Seriously, where would she even keep a horse in the city? “This is the first time I’ve ever even seen a horse, and I figured, they don’t live in the woods, right? So that means people. Or...” she gestured to him, “person, I guess. I was just letting him sniff me---I didn’t wanna get bit.” Now that she was saying it out loud, it did sound kind of stupid. A light pink dusted her cheeks with the realization.

She decided not to comment on the whole Merlin thing, choosing instead to raise a brow at Prince Arthur. Of all the characters to play, he picked royalty. Full of himself much? As he had yet to point out which way she needed to go, however, she held her tongue. “Well, good. I’d hate to have to kick your ass, if you tried hurting me.” Big talk from a small woman, especially since he had a sword---that actually looked sharp, what?---but if he was allowed to be a prince, then she could make shit up too. As far as he knew, she could totally be an expert fighter. “I’m Max. From California. Here’s hoping that’s not too far away from Camelot.”

[the-last-concert]

Chapter Four:

My Rose-Colored Boys

I chose Pepper. I chose Speedy, too. That wasn’t a normal relationship, but given our history- it was like a chord that struck all of us to fit. They were comfortable with me. They trusted me fully. And I, the same. I couldn’t escape loving them in equal capacity and their actions were the ones to blame. I’ve accepted how different they were, though people swore they were twins. Sometimes, they tricked outsiders just to blend in. My whole life, I was given the chance to see them grow. As I grew with them, I saw their personalities balancing like a silver scale of duality. Yin and Yang. I could not describe it better, I’m afraid. Leaking with intensity, I was able to claim them before me finally. My rose-colored boys, no greater fairytale is ever imagined. Nothing can ruin this blissful charge my heart held out for them.

“Moggie…. I’m dying,” Pepper’s words ran so clear and shook my whole world. My legs seemed to have collapsed and Speed had to catch me before I hit the floor. The concert was over, and I was backstage as the guys checked the aftermath of the musical escapade.

“No,” I whispered. Then, I shouted. “No!”

I just got him back. I couldn’t. I would not be in this world without him.

“Mog, it’s true,” Speedy's voice cracked, as our bodies gave out on the floor. “That’s the whole reason I begged for him to see you. He needs you now, more than ever… We both do.”

“How… why?” I couldn’t form my question correctly.

Pepper sat on a worn-out couch, his head in his hands. “Well, I haven’t been making the best choices with my health. And it worsens after…well- doesn’t matter. I’m at peace with it now. I found out a long time ago.”

I couldn’t take this, it was like some sick joke. I wanted him to be joking. But the look on both their faces told me he, sadly, wasn’t. I took a deep breath. “Is it-?”

“Cancer? Yes. Same as my mom’s. Cervical. It hasn’t quite gotten to the brain yet. But the doc says-well, it’ll take a few more months… maybe years,” Pepper explained. His tone was leveled. And his focus shifted more on me. “I know it’s a lot to put on you and-,”

“Then, why are you moving abroad?” I interrupted him.

“Oh, it’s only for three months. I have a band in England I’m supposed to headline with,” Pepper explained. “I wanted a chance to tour again before… you know.”

“I’m coming with you,” I didn’t hesitate.

“Moggie, I couldn’t ask you to give up your life in New York City. I won’t do that to you, again.”

“You aren’t asking. I’m telling you.” I made sure my eyes didn’t waver from his. “I’m coming with you, Pepper.”

Speedy snickered, getting up off the floor. “There’s no fighting her, Pepper. You never could win.”

His head lifted a bit to him, and then locked his eyes on me. “Why, Moggie? It would be pointless to start over, wouldn’t it?”

I kneeled to Pepper and placed my hands on his lap. He overlapped them. “Not if it’s with you. You know me… better than anyone. I hadn’t had someone like that in a long time. I missed you. The both of you. I couldn’t be away from you guys anymore. Y’all are my home.” The home part was scattered between sniffs and changes of pitches. I was crying so much that Pepper gathered me on his lap. He held me as tight as he could. Speedy completed the hug as we all cried on this worn-out couch, together.

“Speed, that means you have to come too,” Pepper pointed out, attempting to lift the mood. “She’ll riot just as much, if you don’t.”

“Ugh,” Speedy complained as I laughed in agreement with Pepper. “You had to choose England, though? Man… it’s so depressing there. It never stops raining.”

“No different from New York,” I joked. “Guess I’ll feel right at home.”

“Yeah, Mog. You’re used to the cold. We, Cali boys, aren’t.” Speedy said.

“And I didn’t choose,” Pepper defended. “The band had a set tour there already. I was lucky they added me in at the last minute.”

I shook my head, he didn’t have to explain. I was glad that he decided on this. I secretly envied his maturity at times. Instead of wallowing, he was using this time to go out with something he loved. It was easy for him. Music. Like breathing air into your own body. It flowed effortlessly.

“When are we leaving?” I asked. I was set on this. More than any decision in my life. I loved New York, but now…. I realize Pepper and Speedy were more important.

“In three days,” They both answered.

Three days later, I was waiting with Pepper and Speedy at LAX.

I left New York the same night of our last concert, together. After we rendered a current passport for me, we put my bulkier items in storage. We gave my cat, Treaty, to my outwardly proud neighbors. They were a newlywed couple. Two men almost the same age as me. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to them for long, but they understood my impulsive decision to move out of the country. They blamed it on love.

I didn’t disagree.

Here I am. In LAX. About to move halfway across the world, with the men I’ve been dreaming of. Yes, it was definitely love.

“Mog, you hungry?” Pepper asked as we settled in at the gate. “We can get Auntie Ann's. You never could turn down a sugar-infused pretzel.”

“I’m fine, Pep. Really,” I ignored the craving. I wanted to be less of a burden to him. This wasn’t a time to rely on him. He had to rely on me, now. “How about one for you, though? I can get some tea.”

Speedy grumbled, turning over in his sleep. “Make that two.”

I shook my head at his mumbling and walked over to the small station of Auntie Ann’s between the other gates. I glanced over the menu. Maybe I was hungry. “Two cinnamon pret- Actually make one plain and one cinnamon pretzel. And two teas, please.” After the worker rang up my order and I got the food, I walked back happily. I was halfway into my pretzel, I handed Pepper his plain. He frowned at me.

“Moggie, what the hell? I wanted the cinnamon too.”

“Oh, I know. But no more sugar for you. Your diet is going to change completely. And I don’t want to hear any complaints. Once we get back, you are starting chemo. I’m not losing you, Pepper. Ever again.” He blew out air and sank very low in the hardened airport chair. He bit his plain pretzel and looked at me. I handed him his tea and he sipped carefully.

“That’s the Moggie I know,” He chuckled. “Alright, fine. You’re right. I don’t want to go through it, but I can’t fight you when you get like this. I never could.”

I smiled wide. After placing the other tea next to the sleeping Speedy, I held onto Pepper’s hand. His hands felt firm but were hardened with years of playing lead guitar. My finger gently traced the inside of his palm. He sighed smoothly after it. Then he drifted to sleep in a state of calm.

By this time, I was the only one up. I did a lot of pondering. Giving my New York life up. I would miss it so much. The full light Christmas streets. The fully lit department stores. The sidewalks are always busy. No time to drive anywhere in the city. Everyone is going or has gone. You could never be alone in such a big city. The day and night collided and I will never forget this experience of not knowing the difference. I saw New York as my customized museum. I didn’t have to walk far to feel the creative impulses flowing through the busy streets. I walked off campus each moment I could receive. Every day was a new journey. Every day was a new path. Some days were humorous. There would be a flock of pigeons bothering some little boy’s crummy treats. There were angry shouts of taxi drivers and car users swearing back and forth, simultaneously. There were street performers and dance mobs that woke up the caffeinated day workers. There was music filling the uphill brick apartments that were at the hand of a saxophone musician. There were so many rainy days I walked out into the streets. I loved the way the rain smelled against the blackened concrete.

Other days brought sorrow. I would witness drunken fights after a late night. I would see someone’s life almost flash before their eyes as they dodge another swerving car into the street. I would see families left on the sidewalk with nothing to eat. I would hear the cries of cats, dogs, and different animals who were abused and left out into the street. Sometimes, gun fights did happen. And sometimes, it didn’t involve a single shooter. Sometimes, the police wouldn’t come until way later. Sometimes, I wish the neighborhood would be much better. As much as I loved New York, Pepper was important. And Speedy was important. That dream needed to wait. I knew I loved them a lot more than any conflicting city. New York was my museum, yes. But these boys rang through my heart like a sovereign country with a new peace treaty.

“Now calling Gate A4. Your flight to London is now boarding. Please, we ask that people with disabilities go first. And then, we will call on you in sections afterward.” The flight associate announced over the intercom.

My eyes shifted to Pepper and Speedy. Speedy had his coat plastered on his body like a security blanket. His mask was over his face and his beanie was tipped adjacent to the rest of his body. Pepper's puffy coat looked like a body of armor. The musk orange went nicely with his mahogany eyes. His head slightly bowed like he was in prayer. It was a little humorous to watch him sleep. I couldn’t imagine him ever praying before he went to sleep. He wasn't a very religious person. Neither was Speed. They both agreed it could be a solid Creator, but there’s no religion that will condemn their vast taste in music. Music was the most superior to anything. And I had to agree.

“Now calling Gate A4. We ask the section First Class board at this time.”

I figured I would let them continue to sleep. We all booked coach. It’s not like neither one could afford it, but I told them to think ahead. We still had to buy groceries for the flat we rented. And figure out the transportation thing before we all rest our heads. I knew after this flight, I would be the first to go to bed.

“We leaving?” Speedy woke up first and looked around. He rubbed his eyes at the sight of the line forming. Then, he kicked his long legs in a stretch from underneath.

“Almost,” I answered. “First class just called.”

“Could you keep me company?” Speedy asked. I didn’t hesitate to move. Speedy had a secret. He hated flying. But it was nothing to be ashamed of. I did too. I touched his face as he kissed my hand. Then he went up to my arm and my neck.

“Speed, it’s gonna be okay.” I voiced as he was distracting himself. “We are all here flying to the same space.”

“Yeah, but-,” Speedy backed up to see my eyes. Even with sleep in his eyes, his ambers shined through. “Don’t tell me you’re not just a little spooked.”

“No. But only cause I have you.” I pinched one of his cheeks. He slapped my hand away, playfully.

“Gawh, Mog. You always gonna do that?” Speedy complained. “You’re worse than my mom.” I laughed. I did it because it was a reminder of his mom. His mom, Victoria, took me in as she saw me. I don’t know if it's because of the loss of her own daughter. But, she said she always saw something in me. Something that reminded her of her own Valerie.

“Did you call her today?” I questioned him.

Speedy smiled. “Of course. She wants me to get her all kinds of souvenirs. I told her I would if she would stop telling me how much I broke her heart by leaving to California over the years.”

“Well, I could see why,” I pointed out. “I mean, look at you, Speed. You grew up too fast on her.”

Speedy snickered. “Oh yeah, little miss passenger? You went off to go to some fancy art school and lived there alone. If anyone grew up on Vickie, it’s you…out of the three of us.”

“I’m sure she didn’t miss me much.”

“The hell she didn’t. Of course, she misses you. Some days she would call me, just to check on you. Imagine her voice when I told her you were coming with us. She shrieked-,” Speedy pointed to his ear. “Almost busted a musically important canal. She missed having us all together.”

I sighed. Vickie was right. The three of us together was something powerful. “I did too.”

Speedy’s face changed. It went from the light sonder to a darkened plunder. Then, he peered at Pepper. “Hopefully, this time.…we can all stay together.”

I kissed his nose. He was worried. And to my surprise, he let me see it. “No heaven or hell can separate us…”

“..Cause hell is too hot for us to be thrown in and heaven will get tired of all this mastering!”

“I know y’all aren't chanting the pack we made at 14.” Pepper woke up.

I smiled around Speedy to him. “Why not?”

“Now calling Gate A4. We ask sections 1-3 to start boarding, please.”

We gather all our carry-ons and head towards the line’s rear. And after we reached the first, and scanned our tickets, Pepper looked back.

“Mog, you are sitting in the middle,” He ordered. “I don’t need Speed throwing up on me, again.”

[yuna-writes]

I’ve been experiencing for the past few weeks on this existential dread after realizing I may have Aspergers. I always wonder how I would function if my sensory skills were great. I want to switch brains with one for a day just to see how they see the world for a moment. Let’s just say, people who are sensors don’t really like me as a person, but after a while I understand why they don’t. They have the tendency to not think about their experiences but just enjoy them and live in the present moment. I might come off as someone who can’t accept the present moment and present emotions. 

I met one in real life, and she shared with the group that she enjoys going to parties and vibing with other people because it makes her happy.  I find most parties to be obnoxiously annoying because the music is so loud that I can’t hear the other person. They are too drunk to form a complete sentence. And there’s too much sensory stimulation such as flashing lights and loud music that can be overbearing for me.  Therefore, I don’t like parties and prefer to be somewhere quiet and peaceful.

Anyway, when I worked on a project together with this person, I can tell she doesn’t really appreciate how I analyze things that I find important. For example, since I’m rather perfectionistic, I don’t like presenting work that’s unfinished to other people. And so, I told her it’s not a good idea to show unfinished work because these people start to make poor assumptions on a unfinished work. She didn’t understand my line of thinking, because she doesn’t see the consequences in presenting unfinished work. If someone sees it, she just accepts that someone saw it and don’t think too much into it. I don’t really appreciate the “going with the flow” mentality because I find it disorganized and most likely these people become totally unprepared when things don’t go well. I like to plan things out and be strategic for different scenarios. Personally, I want to present polished and complete work because I want it to be my best work that leaves a good impression. I always find some sensors can’t understand this, because they don’t really strive to be perfectionistic or strategic. They just want to experience things for what it is, and deal with things as they come and go. 

I bet people with high sensory skills find me to be an overthinker. Thinking about things that hasn’t happened yet because they find it frustrating or pointless. And yeah, maybe there is something to learn from someone who really lives in the present moment. Meanwhile, I tend to live in the future. It’s really hard to get these people to believe in your perspective because you’re talking about things that hasn’t occurred yet but exist in the future. I suppose it can’t be helped, and so I pretty keep much of my secrets to myself. I can understand why other people find me “mysterious” but even if I open up to them, I don’t think they can keep up with my line of thinking or understand it fully. Again, most people live in the present moment because it impacts them the most. I think the future is equally, if not, arguably more important. I guess I pick up on more things that isn’t in people’s conscious because I analyze topics and create a theory from it. These theories don’t impact people’s livelihood at the present moment, but it doesn’t mean it won’t impact them in the future. 

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 01x08

Bugs

“I feel like they could have monetized this differently instead of being social outcasts.”

Reminded Spouse of HunterCorps! SalmonDean

“This is the Native American land disturbance one, right? I remember this one.”

“I love how they show how there’s bugs there by showing a can of bug spray.”

“As if there isn’t a whole ass crew of people - there’s just these 2 dudes.”

“It’s ok - he’s just going to be bones. Not quite. Still dead though. Nice”

“HELP COME HERE NOW. But the guy is in his car saying he’ll be right there.”

Look at that stupid face with that stupid smile

“It was JACKED yo”

“Isn’t that the first time that Sam mentions their childhood was fucked and Dean brushed it off. Does it take longer for Dean to accept it?”

I think Dean knows they had a shitty childhood but what is he going to do about it right now? It’s easier for early seasons Dean just to ignore shit.

“This looks like the same housing complex they fucked up in Tokyo Drift”

“I 100% agree with that but idk if I’d want to blow my brains out.”

“Think of all the HOA fees”

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Forgot about that shit. That’s sooooo bad.” Then laughed

“Did the guy look embarrassed? Way to assume everything. How white of you.” “Oh my god.” 

“Who is that kid again? Oh yeah. Letterkenny. I remember you talked about it.”

“I’m going to assume you’re gay then going to punish my child now.”

“Bow hunting is pretty awesome though. Idk about killing animals but shooting things is fun.”

“Oh I gotta good song for this. You can link it once I find it.”

“I don’t quite understand insect people.”

“Oh that’s fake as shit. I’d be screaming because the FX are so bad.”

“It got the salesman first.”

“Let’s just walk over all the blood that hasn’t completed dried yet. Let’s move all the evidence. That’s fine.”

“Drive on the curb; no big deal”

🎶gonna go smoke weed in the woods🎶

“He’s playing with sticks in the woods.”

“Walking in the woods”

Laughed “how does that make any sense? If they were serial killers, would they actually say yes?”

“I feel like Larry also has a lot of money invested in this project, too.”

“College? Fuck College. You’ll be 18; you can do whatever you want.”

“Sam is part of the problem telling everyone to go to college; what a shitter”

“In a different time, the letterkenny kid would have made a better Sam. They look similar enough”

Told Spouse that Misha auditioned to play Dean

“It’s a skull probably. That’s probably not something you want to hold with your hands but ok. It’s not going to hurt you I guess”

“I dug up a cow skull once; it was weird. It was in the middle of the woods. I brought it home and Dad put it in the front yard. It was Weird.”

🎶bunch of skeletons in an unmarked grave. Masssss murder🎶

“I don’t understand the Munsters reference”

“Dean has rosier glasses about their dad. It’s not a bad thing, but I think he’s more of an optimist. He’s choosing to remember to the better things over the others. I can understand that.”

“This actor looks familiar. Idk who he is.”

“Why are we eating a dog eat trash? Then pan over to the Native guy.”

“Don’t forget we’re in a bad part of town since the dog is eating trash and there’s a Native guy standing around.”

“Jared’s dynamic acting at best. Every time I watch the show, it just gets worse to me.”

“What night would that be? Is that the summer solstice? What’s the opposite of the solstice?” Dean’s stupid lips.

“For what it’s worth, they gave him some dynamic dialogue and more of a part instead of just reading out of a book”

🎶you don’t break a curse - the curse breaks you🎶

“Way to be a douche Dean. You just caused all those rocks to hit the other cars in the parking lot. You know better Dean”

“Doesn’t this just fall through and there’s a million bugs or something?”

“Where do you get a million roaches for props? Those are real roaches. If you’re the props guy, do you just call the roach guy?”

“The dad thing points to how Dean learned how to deal with John”

Look how big Dean’s eyes are in this scene when they hear the bugs

“Idk if a bug can eat through the power lines but ok.”

Laughed at the bugs at the window “I remember laughing at that. I still find it funny, because bugs don’t usually suicide themselves like that.”

“A little bug spray will help I’m sure. You’ll be fine.”

“Is he doing the bug spray and lighter trick?”

“Might want to hold the flue down.” ‘Yeah ok.” “I think just spraying the bug spray would be more effective.” laughing at the whole situation 

“Look how effective that flame is. Oh so effective”

“And that roof was new. Look how shitty that is. Someone fire their builder. Oh my god. I know we’re dealing with a biblical plague/Native American curse, but come on.”

“That sunrise came up quick. Wasn’t it just midnight?”

“Just a few thousand bees and maybe 2 bee stings. 3 or 4 on their faces and necks.”

“Hey he didn’t drive on the curb this time. Imagine that.”

“This doesn’t make any sense - DIY mover. Wouldn’t you rent it and move shit yourself? But next to the logo it says National Moving Experts. So are you hiring movers or moving everything yourself? Pick one.”

“Somehow…I think insurance will cover your white ass. It’ll be fine.”

“Way to throw away the terrarium kid.”

“Way to agree with him, Sam. You’re supposed to encourage the kid and not tell him to fuck off.”

“How many daddy bonding moments before we see John? We’re having like 2-3 every episode.” “We ain’t in Kansas anymore.”

[memryse]

many thoughts about scott smajor in last life

I am still sick and I’m mad about it. Instead of resting like a normal person, I am going to be taking out my frustration on a Minecraft roleplay character and picking apart his brain!

Also, I couldn't think of a better title for this than the one I used for Scar, so... I guess this is now a series? Of me reading way too deeply into Last Life characters? Because I definitely enjoy making these deep dives and will be doing it more in the future.

Scott’s a really interesting character, because whilst a lot of people see him as yessss king villain arc arson et cetera – and that’s the front he puts on – Scott is, arguably, the most moral player in Last Life. This isn’t intended as a criticism of the other players, however; it’s quite the opposite, I find it fascinating that Scott has been able to maintain his morality like that. Last Life is effectively an anarchy server, and plenty of other players have no qualms embracing that. Not Scott, though.

Let’s start with his alliance with Pearl. The two of them are allies practically from the start, cemented by Pearl giving Scott the first of several lives. They play it safe the entire time; there is, honestly, not much to scrutinise with them, because they’re so functional. Functional to the point that it continues to amaze me every single week, because what other alliance has this much faith in each other and gets so much work done? Especially since the addition of Cleo. They’re the only alliance to manage to protect a wither skull from Grian, they’ve avoided genuinely antagonising any other faction (the Southlands and the red lives mess with them because they’re such a neutral party), they obtained multiple villagers relatively quickly; the list goes on. They have such a strong level of trust in one another that things like lives barely matter – Pearl’s given multiple to Scott without any fear of him betraying her. She could have left him on yellow several times. The two of them practically telepathically agree to give Cleo a life, with them both suggesting it at the exact same time. Instead of betrayal and distrust, this alliance is built off simple faith in each other’s ability to be good people. And it works. They’re the closest alliance on the server.

Another show of faith between Scott and Pearl is, of course, how they deal with the boogeyman curse. They have their ritual of looking into the other’s eyes when the boogeyman is chosen; it’s so important to them that they’re both actually disappointed to miss it in session 6, despite how risky it is (Scott does change his mind about this when he’s chosen, but in the buildup to it he’s sad). So it’s a clear sign of how much faith the two of them have in one another, right? With that in mind, here’s a session 5 conversation between the two of them.

Pearl: I know the boogeyman hasn’t been chosen yet, but if one of us is the boogeyman, do we promise to- Scott: Yeah, I’d never- Pearl: -to be okay with whatever happens? Scott: Oh. [turns to look at Pearl] I was gonna be like, “Yeah, I’d never kill you”, and I’m like “I’m sorry???”. Two very different answers there! Pearl: It’s just- it’s just, it’s just something, you know, just whatever happens, you know, something could… quite easily… slip, you know… Scott: I’ll say sure, for now, Pearl.

This is the first time the two of them have ever been visibly out of sync with the other. Usually, they both align on practically everything, especially things as major as what they’ll do as the boogeyman. But here, Pearl is quite clearly suggesting she’d be willing to kill Scott if it came down to it – and she assumed Scott would feel the same. Meanwhile, Scott assumed Pearl would say that she would never kill Scott, because that’s how he feels about her. He does agree to it in the end, but it’s with reluctance. At the time I watched this – the day before session 6 – I interpreted Scott’s “sure, for now” to mean he’d reluctantly accept Pearl killing him, but he would still never do the same to her. He cares too much. I was proven right on this literally the next day, with session 6 seeing Scott become the boogeyman. He confesses it to Pearl and Cleo and goes off to find somebody else to kill.

It’s not only his allies that Scott is reluctant to betray. Even when he’s killing Impulse – someone he has little loyalty to beyond their wither skull heist, someone he actively thinks of as a nuisance who keeps invading his base, he apologises to him over and over. It just has to be Impulse, and he’s sorry about it. He also states that he couldn’t kill Jimmy just because Jimmy gave him a potato and he suddenly felt too bad to do it. Scott is far, far too kind for this world, I think. It’s a trait that’s carried over from 3rd Life – look at his conversation with Cleo, for instance, where they discuss the widows’ alliance, and they bond over the incredible amounts of loyalty they both have to their “ride or die” allies. Looking at the current state of things in Last Life, that conversation definitely aged well, with the widows’ alliance finally coming into existence. Another trait that Scott carried over would definitely have to be his tendency to build a pretty base and hide away in it, but at least this time he’s not ignoring the wars raging on the other side of his walls – it’s admittedly kind of hard to when you choose to build that base in the middle of the server and trouble is continually landing itself right on your doorstep.

I think everything I’m talking about in this post says a lot about cc!Scott, but again it makes for such an interesting character trait because there’s no reason for him to maintain this kind of morality. He could betray his allies. There’s all sorts that he could do – he knows it, and he threatens to do it sometimes, like with burning the southerners’ wall. He threatens villain arcs almost every episode. But he chooses not to act on the majority of it.

Going back to the wither skull heist mentioned earlier, this has been my favourite subplot of the server thus far and Scott has definitely been the key player in it. For anyone not insane enough to follow this as closely as I am: session 2 saw the introduction of three wither skulls to the server. Grian had one, Pearl had one, and Etho had the other. For a few sessions, they’re left alone; nobody wants to make a move either way, because it’s safer for that kind of power to be split between factions. Martyn steals Scott and Pearl’s in session 4, unaware that Grian already has one; the instant Scott informs him of this, Martyn hands it back. They both agree that multiple wither skulls are too much power for anyone to have, let alone Grian. Especially not a Grian one misstep away from being red.

The next session, with a red Grian on the loose, Martyn again suggests trying to find the skull. Impulse manages to find it with Scott and Mumbo, and hangs onto it for most of the session. Towards the end, Scott meets with Impulse again, and they discuss what to do with it. Scott proposes two options: leave it with Impulse and keep it a secret from Grian, or hand it off to a third party. They settle on the latter, and Scott takes it to give to Lizzie. Despite now having two out of three skulls on the server, Scott has zero inclination to go back on his word, telling Impulse that he’s “not going to let [him]self have that kind of power”, which he later reiterates to the Shadow Alliance. Even as he’s on his way to the Shadow Fort, he acknowledges that he could quite easily keep them both, but that it’s not time for villain arc Scott just yet and that simply knowing where all three are is power in itself. I think all of this really sums up just who Scott is as a character: he plays the game fairly, he’ll pass up on opportunities that literally anybody else would take, like wither skulls or killing allies, because he’s too good a person to want anything to do with any of that. Information is valuable to him, far more than more tangible forms of power, but even then he’s not going to use it for anything particularly dastardly. He plays from the background, and despite being involved in so many conflicts on the server, is on good terms with just about everybody on the server; his alliance was even the only one to declare itself genuinely friendly with Scar, without contracts or life trades or really any reason at all. It’s impressive how well it’s working for him – Last Life is supposed to be about anarchy and betrayal and such, and yet the alliance that rejects all of that is the only alliance not falling apart at the seams.

Maybe he’ll choose to finally embrace that villain arc on his red life, sure. For now, though, Scott is girlbossing his way to victory with the power of friendship.