#I’ve had 4 pints why do you ask?

[horatio-fig]

help I said I enjoyed the deep caring friendship between two fictional men and now strangers are calling me homophobic on the internet 😭😭😭

[softspeirs]

A/N: John Egan/OC. Listen, I simply couldn’t resist. I know OC’s are abounding right now, but I’ve had this in my head for a few days and needed to get it out. For now she shall remain nameless, but we’ll see if I want to flesh this out. Fair warning: this is real angsty. Sorry, I was in a mood! Somewhere around ep 4-5? No spoilers.

one - (quiet skies, don't get attached)

“Has he reached his limit yet?” A slim hand reaches in front of her, grabbing a pint off the bartop.

She meets Major Cleven’s eyes briefly before he tilts his head in Major Egan’s direction, indicating who he's asking about. As if he'd be worried about anyone else this much.

“Two more with his name on it,” she says, biting back her smile.

“Don’t see how that’s possible.” He mutters, rolling his eyes as Bucky’s loud voice carries over from where he sits, regaling fellow pilots and locals alike with stories from his latest mission.

She shrugs, settling a rag over her shoulder. “I’m not a babysitter. I just make the drinks.”

He nods, waving his hand. “I know. Thank you.”

She sees the worry and frustration that he's not voicing. "No thanks necessary." She says quietly. She watches him go and join his friends, and frowns as she watches Egan stumble over a chair, Cleven barely managing to grab his elbow before he goes toppling to the floor.

It's getting worse. But-- she can't even blame him. She hears bits and pieces, the guys regaling each other with their war stories, but lately it's been quieter, less storytelling and more drowning regrets and sorrows over lukewarm beer.

Major Egan has been in town longer than all of them, and she wonders if anyone else is picking up on the hints he's been dropping every time he speaks to anyone.

I don't even feel anything.

It's not until days later when she hears that he's on leave that she finally releases a breath she's been holding.

The pub is quiet that day. No roaring of planes overhead, no rowdy airmen taking up all her tables and running her ragged with requests. No laughter, but no fighting either.

Her father comes in later, solemn expression, and slaps a newspaper down on the bar. She feels her stomach sinking as she reads. "They lost so many." She whispers.

"Gave the Germans a whipping, though."

It's not enough.

It's late that night when Major Egan shows up. She's not even really surprised to see him, all things considering. She is surprised to see him here - she would have thought he'd have gone MIA with a ship and gone to avenge his friends on his own.

He sits at the bar and flashes her a smile. She's already shaking her head before he can even open his mouth.

"Major... it's not a good idea."

He looks affronted. "What isn't? Just here for a drink, that's all. Haven't you heard? I'm still on leave."

"If you were on leave you'd still be in London."

There's a quick moment where he sets his jaw, sighing. He's frustrated, and she knows he has a quick temper. She just hopes that he hears her out.

"You can't drown your sorrows." She slides the newspaper into view. "Not right now."

He meets her eyes again. There's a moment of clarity that passes between them - she knows exactly why he's back early, and he knows she understands what the stakes are.

"You shouldn't get attached." He says, rising from his seat. Halfway to the door, he looks over his shoulder. "To any of us." His smirk is small, bitter. "Here today, gone tomorrow."

"Major Egan--"

The door is swinging shut behind him before she can tell him it's no use; she already is attached. And she feels it each time a crew comes through the doors and they're one man short. She feels it even though she never learns half their names.

It never gets easier, for the men who do the flying, or for the people who wait for them to come back.

[kysuu]

Lost Souls

Hozier x Fem!reader

Chapter 4: How did it end? (D-Y-I-N-G) (part two)

I sit there tears falling down my cheek and i sat there bewildered. I felt so betrayed, a couple of drinks with Alex? Sure that’s harmless it could just be a “boys night” but it being a full blown party with models and other celebrities alike? It felt more like him going without me was saying he was single and that ripped my heart out of my chest.

I decide to go to bed not wanting to interact with him when he came home, unless he decided to go sleep in one of the models bed instead. The dinner that I did start to prepare was abandoned in the kitchen as i didn’t have the energy to make it anymore and I was too sick to my stomach to even eat it.

I heard a long bang coming from downstairs which startled me awake. I look at the time on my phone and it’s 3.00am. ‘It’s probably just Andrew” I think to myself as i hear more stumbling throughout the house. A couple minutes later he walks into the bedroom and slumps down drunkenly onto his side of the bed. ‘Heyyyyy’ he says whilst trying to kiss me on the cheek that i had dodged which he gave me a pout too. I turnt my back to him and went back to sleep.

I woke up feeling drained and i go downstairs to see Andrew in the kitchen making breakfast. ‘Hey honey.” I hear him say smiling and normally that would swoon me but after recent events i felt nothing but disgust. “hi.” I replied back nonchalantly as i go into the fridge to grab my redbull. “I’m making pancakes.” He says, his voice being a little more dull due to my tone.

“Enjoy.” I say before i turn on my heels to go back into bed. “Hey are u mad at me, I mean when i came in drunk you just ignored me and dodged my kiss and now your not even going to eat the pancakes I made cause i know there your favourite?”

I squint my back still facing him trying to think of what to say without getting too snappy at 9am. I sigh before saying. “Sorry just been stressed because of work , how was the drinks with Alex?”

He smiles my words being reassuring to him. “Great, we just sat down at a table and had a couple of pints,”

Lies

“It was so quiet in the pub there was only a couple of people there,” He continues and with each lie i feel my heart breaking even more, if that was even possible. I pull out my phone and go onto Alex’s insta story again. “That doesn’t look like a couple of drinks to me.” I say too angry to care.

“I- well..” He starts but I cut him off.

“How could you? I mean if you told me you were going to a party it would’ve been fine. But you’re just blatantly lying to me? We’ve been together for two fucking years what happened? You just decided to throw all of that away for some lousy models? Are u fucking insane?”

“Nothing happened! I swear baby i didn’t know it was a party i promise.” He says with panic clear in his voice.

“And maybe i would have fucking believed you if you hadn’t just said it was a couple of drinks with Alex and there was hardly anyone in the pub a mere two seconds ago.” i say with a glint in my eye and my voice breaking.

“Baby please. Nothing happened i just didn’t want you to be mad.” He says sighing a little.

“Oh really? if you didn’t want me to be mad you should’ve just asked me to come with you.”

He stands there blankly not knowing what to say. He realises there is nothing he can do because his own words betrayed him.

“Why?” i say with tears in my eyes. “Is it because now that your famous your too good for me and all of these woman that seem to throw themselves at you has that all gotten to your head?”

His face turns into disgust and he says “Is that what you think of me i’ve become so egotistical that I’d do that? Is that how low you think i am”

“well the evidence is damning. I swear men only ever think with their dicks or they don’t think at all. You’re such a fucking loser. I’ve given everything up for you. I’ve moved in with you, i’ve given up my music career for you but this is how you repay me?” My heart had dropped to my stomach even just thinking about anything “Where am i supposed to to go i don’t have anough money for another house and a café job isn’t going to sustain me. i-“

“what do you mean, where am i supposed to go, are you breaking up with me?” He says tears escaping his eyes.

I stand there thinking, am i breaking up with him? Has this happened before, and this time is different because Alex drunkenly posted it by accident?

A million thoughts pace around my head before i say, “Give me your phone.”

“I have nothing to hide” he says casually

“Then give it to me.” i say putting out my hand.

He reluctantly gave me his phone and i open up the camera app. I see a picture of him kissing one of the two models and my heart drops and i throw the phone at him which hit his chest with a thud as i ran up the stairs and hear him calling my name but i ignore. I lock myself into our bedroom and sob violently. I couldn’t believe him. After all of this? I’ve wasted two years of my life and he’s just thrown it all away within a day? I heard knocking on the bedroom door but i’m sobbing so loud i can’t even hear my own thoughts let alone anything he’s saying.

It was a couple of days later and i had avoided him at all costs. Whenever he went into the shower i would come out of my room to eat, and our bedroom was an en-suite so i didn’t have to worry about that. I mostly spent those days crying not knowing what to do but then i remember about my grandad’s land in Kildare. I grab my phone and call him.

Hey chick

Hey granda um i wanted to ask about something

Sure, anything

You know that land in kildare. The one i was staying in whilst everything that happened and i was going to uni? Is anyone staying there me and Andrew have bro- well it’s complicated but we’re not speaking to eachother and i needed somewhere to stay for a bit.

Oh no don’t tell me that fellas not treating you right, I thought to two of you were gonna get married and have weans but anyways your uncle johns staying there but it’s just him wife and kid, i’ll give him a call i’m sure he won’t mind

Thanks granda, i owe you.

Alright well have a good day chick and listen if you need someone to beat him up just call me. he says whilst laughing a little. Which i giggled too and he hung up after that. I felt relieved that i atleast had somewhere to go. And upon thinking of it I decided that maybe breaking up with Andrew would be for the best as the one thing i’ve learnt with men is if it happened once , it will happen again.

I hear him downstairs talking to someone so i go downstairs. He’s in the kitchen with Alex and i stand there looking at him. His eyes widen at the sight of me after not seeing me for days. “can we talk?” i say nonchalantly.

“sure.” he says replying with the same tone

“Alone” i say looking at Alex.

“Whatever you want to say to me you can say infront of alex.”

I take a deep breath, was he seriously trying to snap back as if i was in the wrong? Whatever he’s the one that’s about to get dumped. “Fine,” i say sighing. “ I’m breaking up with you.”

His eyes widen immediately filling with tears. “What? After everything? We said we would get married and have kids and you’re going to break up with me?”

I laugh like a mad woman as i say “ Maybe you should go do those things with that model you was so adamant of kissing. I mean seriously? where do you get the audacity of saying those things when your the one who cheated on me. I hope one day you wake up and realise that the model girlfriend lifestyle isn’t going to keep up. All you’re ever going to be to them is a famous musician who they managed to have sex with or dated for a few months. I’m done. Good luck on your singing career.” i say before i turnt on my heels and went into the cupboard near the stairs and grabbed suitcase i had packed a few days ago and walked out the door ignoring his words of protest. I was so angry i threw my case into the boot of my car and drove off as he attempted to chase after me but i didn’t give a fuck not after everything that happened i mean seriously? Who the fuck does he think he is?

———————————————————————————

Okayyyy well that’s chapter four done and i hope you like it :) The next chapters going to be a bit of a skip. its going to be like a year or two later and your music career had started kicking off in Germany (don’t ask i’ll explain more in the next chapter😭)

[jerzwriter]

A Different Fate... Part 4 - Glass Door

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (past)

Featuring: Tobias Carrick, Sienna Trinh

Rating: Teen

Words: 2.4 k

Category: Short-Series/AU/Lost Love

Summary: Ethan's in New York, and he's got backup... but when he fails to heed their advice and follow his own path, what will the results be?

A/N: I said the next installment would be the last, didn't I? Well, I lied. lol But the next one TRULY is. I went in a different direction and decided to torture them a little longer. 😏 @choiceschallenge-may2023 | ex-lover, love @choicesflashfics Prompt in bold Series Masterlist Ethan/Kaycee Masterlist Full Masterlist

“Well, look at you,” Tobias smirked as he sauntered toward the bar. “What brings you to New York City, young man?”

Ethan gazed wearily at his friend, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“There’s nothing young about me,” he muttered. “And I think you know the answer to that question.”

Tobias shook his head as he claimed the barstool beside Ethan.

“I’d chastise you for being rude, but I’m sure you’re nervous, so I’ll give you a break this time, Tobias grinned. “Wow, I’ve been trying to talk you into this for years, but just one conversation with Sienna, and you’re booking a flight! Hats off to her… I’m duly impressed.”

“As you should be,” a small but powerful voice belted.

Tobias spun around, astonished to find the diminutive doctor walking toward them. “And what brings you here?” he teased.

“Him,” Sienna pointed to Ethan as she hopped on the last vacant stool. “Do you think I was about to leave him to his own devices after all this time?”

“Smart move,” Tobias agreed. “I’m sure he’d mess it up in less than ten minutes.”

“Thank you!” Ethan groused. “I feel so much better knowing how much faith the two of you have in me.”

“OK, then tell us your plan,” Sienna insisted, keeping Ethan’s gaze as he looked like a deer that had stepped into the headlights.

“Well… I uhm. I thought I’d… uh… In the morning, I could….”

“Exactly,” Sienna chirped.

“I could send her flowers!” He blurted.

“After all this time… I don’t think overwhelming her is the way to go. My advice? Be upfront and lowkey. Send her a text; let her know you’re in town and you’d love to see her. Offer to take her for coffee or lunch.”

“Alone?” Ethan asked.

“Is this really a conversation you want to have in front of me and Tobias?”

“Point taken.”  Ethan sighed, his forlorn expression adding years to his appearance.

“She mentioned a place,” Tobias said, snapping his fingers as he tried to recall the name. “The Perfect Pint! She said that she loved that place over dinner tonight. Take her there!”

“Over dinner tonight?” Ethan seethed. “You took her to dinner?”

“Relax, Romeo,” Tobias barked. “I’m not putting moves on your Juliet. Kaycee happens to be my old friend, too, and… I’ve missed her.”

“Yeah…” Ethan muttered, voice full of defeat. “Nowhere near as much as I have.”

“And we’re here to change that,” Sienna redirected. Dr. Ramsey was not bringing the mood down on her watch. She shot a look at Tobias. “Now, do you see why I came?”

“Oh,” he laughed. “I never had any doubt.”

~~~~~

The following morning, as Kaycee was on a subway platform heading to work, Ethan and Tobias stood over the breakfast buffet at their hotel. Tobias smiled approvingly when Ethan scooped up the remaining bacon in the chafing dish. 

“Eating crispy, delicious processed meats… I’m impressed!”

“Everything is fine in moderation,” Ethan clapped back. “Besides, this place is known for its bacon, and I don’t intend to miss out.”  

“That’s the attitude. Speaking of not missing out… I assume you’ve texted Kaycee?”

“No,” Ethan sighed as Sienna approached. “I haven’t.”

“Good morning, guys!” She chirped. “It’s such a beautiful day!”

“It could be,” Tobias snickered.

“Oh no!” Sienna grimaced. “They’re out of bacon. I heard it is to die for here.”

“I’m sure they’ll bring more out momentarily,” Ethan offered. 

But Tobias had a better idea. “Hey!” Ethan hollered as he plucked the bacon off his plate and placed it on Sienna’s. “What are you doing!?”

“You can have bacon when you text Kaycee. Until then, no treats for you! We’re going all Pavlovian here.”  

Sienna’s face visibly fell. “Ethan! You haven’t texted her?”

“No,” he replied, attempting to steal a strip of bacon from Sienna’s plate, but her reflexes were quick. “If either of you would let me finish! I had another idea. Dr. Choi and I have been in communication about a case he’s working on….”

“…and Dr. Choi happens to work at Langone,” Tobias inserted.

“Exactly,” Ethan stated as the trio sat at a corner booth. “So I made an appointment to see him today, and I thought that…. What?”

Sienna shook her head with a grimace. “Ethan… are you trying to ‘accidentally’ bump into her? So she can think she’s an afterthought? That you were in town and didn’t even bother to let her know? Just when I was going to give you some of my bacon!”

“But, Sienna,” Ethan sighed, emotion heavy in his voice. “What if she said no.”

The table went silent, and Sienna quietly placed that slice of bacon on Ethan’s plate. He smiled sadly, hoping this wouldn’t be his consolation prize.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think she would.”

“But there are no guarantees… and… I don’t think I could handle that rejection again. I need to do this my way.”

“Hey, Buddy. It’s your call,” Tobias smiled. “Either way, we have your back.”

~~~~~ 

“I’m so glad you stopped in,” Dr. Choi beamed as he escorted Ethan down the hallway. “We should make it a point to do this more frequently.”

“I agree,” Ethan nodded. “Sometimes a thirty-minute conversation in person can yield better results than a dozen emails topped with a Zoom call.”

“I will always take human interaction over technology,” the elderly doctor agreed. “How about I come to Boston next time. I’ll never admit it around here, but I’m a bit of a Red Sox fan.”

“Definitely keep your voice down,” Ethan chuckled. “And it would be my pleasure to bring you to a game. Say, Dr. Choi… is Dr. MacClennan’s office on this floor?”

“It used to be, but she’s on the eighth floor now. Take this elevator and make two rights when you exit. That will get you to the nurses’ station, and they can direct you from there.”

“Thank you,” Ethan smiled. “I’ll be in touch.”

His heart was racing as the elevator doors shut. Before allowing himself time to think, he pressed eight and hoped for the best.

~~~~~ 

The eighth-floor nurses' station was especially quiet this morning. All heads turned in Kaycee’s direction when she placed a tray of cookies on the counter with a smile. A young nurse – who had forgotten to eat breakfast – perked up at once.

“Oh! What are these for?” She beamed.

“For going over and beyond with Mrs. Mitchell yesterday. I really appreciate all the hard work everyone put in.”

“It was a pleasure,” the nurse replied, with her mouth full. “And if I knew we’d get these....”

“My best friend makes them,” Kaycee smiled. “She ships me a box at least every few months, and this time, you all deserve them more than me.”  

Kaycee noticed a change in the nurse's expression.

“What? Don’t you like them?” Kaycee asked.

“No, they’re wonderful. It’s just…” the nurse leaned over and whispered into her ear. “Dr. Douglas is heading this way.”

“Ugh…” Kaycee shuddered. “Thanks for the heads up.”

But the warning came moments too late. As she went to take a step away, her escape was thwarted.

“Dr. MacClennan!” The dark-haired doctor with a smarmy smile shouted. “Fancy running into you here!”

“Is it?” She shrugged. “Considering we’re standing just feet from my office, I don’t think it should be all that surprising.”

“I guess you’re right,” he chuckled. “But what was surprising was seeing you at Gabriel’s last night!”

“At Gabriel's? I don’t recall seeing you there.”

“Well, you appeared engrossed, so I didn’t dare interrupt. The gentleman you were with… he looked familiar…”

“Well, any educated physician should know who Dr. Carrick is.”

“Ah, that’s who it was! I didn’t realize you two were so… well acquainted. Is he a friend?”

“Yes! A very dear, old friend…” she stalled as an idea popped into her mind. “Well, at least for now.”

“Oh?” Dr. Douglas asked with a raised brow.

“Did you ever see someone you were once close with after a long time had passed, and everything is just… so clear? That was me last night. I’m sure you saw the sparks flying between us… it had to be impossible to miss. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time and distance from someone to realize that you’ve wasted far too much time… that you were meant to be so much more… and you’d do anything to make it right.”

“And… that’s how you feel about Dr. Carrick?” he grumbled.

“Very much so,” Kaycee sang, with the brightest smile adorning her face. 

“Well then, I assume I’ll see the two of you at Dr. Rivera’s farewell reception tomorrow night. Being he’s in town and all….”

“Yes,” she swallowed. “I’m sure you will. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Her face was aglow as she made her way to her office. She had been searching for a way to get Dr. Douglas off her back for longer than she cared to admit… and this might be what she needed. She grabbed her phone and began texting Tobias – so engrossed with her plan that she failed to see him.

A solitary, crestfallen figure who had walked in at the worst possible moment stood slackjawed in a dark, shadow-filled corner. Ethan looked around to ensure he hadn’t been seen, then quickly turned to return down the hallway.

He stepped into the elevator with a heavy heart. Perhaps Sienna’s idea was better all along. After all, if she had ignored him or rejected him via text, it would have been better. If he had followed her lead, he wouldn’t have seen her radiant smile again; he wouldn’t have been reminded how it could light up any room.   He wouldn’t have felt the butterflies in his stomach or the way his heart fluttered at the sound of her voice. It had been so long since he experienced it, but it was like greeting an old friend, warm and inviting, until it was replaced. He hadn’t experienced it in so long that he welcomed it like an old friend…then it was gone.

The elevator doors closed, and it may as well have been that night in Boston years before. He choked back a sob as his heart sank and a pit formed in his stomach. Eight years. It took him eight years to travel the two-hundred miles needed to bridge the distance between them, and in the end, it would be for naught.

He didn’t remember the three-city block walk to St. Vartan’s Park. Everything was a blur. The first thing he remembered was his back hitting the hard, weathered wood on the park bench. The sound of honking horns mingled with birds chirping and children playing soccer nearby… the sounds of the city began to pull him out of his fugue.

Tobias? He hissed.

Not for a second did he believe his friend was making a play for his former flame… the woman he was destined to love forever, but if Kaycee had feelings for Tobias, returned or not, then she couldn't possibly have any left for him.

He berated himself for allowing hope back into his heart. Eight years and a half dozen failed attempts of trying with someone new between them; he had kept tabs on her, so he knew she had tried to move on, too. She had gotten married, for Christ’s sake… and, no, it didn’t last. But why had he allowed himself to believe part of her had not never forgotten him.

His head was pounding, and he needed two things: his hotel room and a bottle of Scotch. It may not diminish the pain, but at least it would take off the edge. He took a deep breath and stood up, eager to get through the unfamiliar city to reach the solitude he desperately needed… then his phone rang.

Tobias.

He knew in his heart that his friend had nothing to do with this, but he still had no desire to speak to him. It wasn’t his fault that Kaycee was pining for him… but he sure as hell didn’t want to talk to the man who held her heart. He declined the call. But it rang again. And again. Finally, in a near fit, he answered.

“What?!”

“Hey,” Tobias replied, blissfully unaware of his friend’s state. “Are you still at Langone?”

“No. I’ve left.”

“Did… did you see her?”

“I did… but she didn’t see me, and we’re going to keep it that way. Tobias… I’m a goddamn fool. It was all a pipe dream, a foolish, foolish pipe dream. Kaycee’s moved on, and if I have any sense, that’s what I’ll do, too.”

“What gave you that idea?”

“Well,” Ethan laughed sardonically. “She appears to have feelings for someone else. In fact… that dinner last night may have been a bit too romantic, intentional or not, because the person she has feelings for… is you. I don’t know, Tobias. Maybe there’s another universe where we’d have the happy ending I always wanted. But it isn’t in this one.”

The call went silent, and it lingered for an uncomfortable length of time. Frustrated with the lack of response, Ethan blurt out.

“Hello?!”

“Ethan, you are a freaking idiot. Get back there now!”

“Why? I heard her myself.”

“What you heard was her getting some douchey doctor off her back. He was one of those creeps who wouldn’t take no for an answer from her, but he’d take it from a fake boyfriend hundreds of miles away. She texted me to ask me to play along…"

Ethan stopped in his tracks. He hadn't had a chance to touch that Scotch he was longing for; still, he felt hungover.

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“Look!” Tobias insisted. “She’s getting out soon. Get back there now! You’re not going back to Boston without talking to her. Maybe you two can work things out, and maybe you can’t, but how many more years do you want to live with that question mark hanging over your head?”

“You know what, you’re right.”

“I usually am… now go.”

Ethan hung up the phone and ran back, pushing through crowds to return to the hospital. He was about to enter the glass doors when he heard it. The chaos and noise of the city were no match for it; he’d know her voice anywhere. His head flung in its direction, but all he could see was a tuft of blonde hair slipping into an awaiting cab.

“Kaycee,” he yelled, running toward the vehicle. “Kaycee! Wait!”

But the cab was already in motion, and, for once, there was no traffic on the city street. He watched in silence as the taillights of the car that held the one thing his heart desired most faded into the distance.

Tags in reblog.

[mrhaitch]

HIHI Mr. Haitch! I’m not dead 🫡, and I promise I didn’t forget about thee. I’ve been travelling Rome and every time I try to send you an ask to see how you’re doing and send questions I pass out in my hotel room and don’t wake up until I am just barely out of the room on time to go with my group. So before we begin I’d like to say a blurb:

WHAT IN THE FUCK! WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT HERE?!? MY ASS IS MELTING OFF (I barely have one but still). In a more polite manner, it’s too damn hot and I am suffering. Heat makes me nauseous and dizzy so I can barely eat and well lets just say the largest meal I’ve had was McDonalds and I nearly regurgitated all of it afterwards. On the plus side, Rome has some beautiful art and architecture so the inner artist in me is rejoicing despite the heat. I’ve been naming every god and goddess, from every mythology, as we pass by them and my group always goes: “really? Oh you’re right” as if they think I’m too stupid to actually know these. Anyways I’m not dead (even though it feels like it) and now a semi-regular shit show questions will commence!

On a scale from 1-10 how hard is your water pressure in your shower? Mine is a solid 9 but I literally love it so much

Do you drink? If yes drink of choice if no still drink of choice? Mine is: No, Shirley temple.

Do you like pasta? If yes which is your favourite if no why?

FUN FACT: the ancient greeks thought that small penis = intelligence. And by that logic: woman = no penis = smallest amount of penis = genius

You have my sympathy - it's been uncomfortable here in the UK for a couple of weeks, but seems to be calming down. Hope you're otherwise enjoying Rome.

1. Probably a 7. We recently stayed in a hotel where it was a full 10, and every shower felt mildly traumatic.

2. Yes. Preferred drinks are: Shiraz, mojitos, and beer. I have a soft spot for grimbergen rouge and will sink pint after pint if no one stops me.

3. Naturally. I once had a lobster tagliatelle in Freemantle, WA that I still dream of occasionally.

4. I did. Sadly the Ancient Greeks also had tremendously shit opinions about women.

[mrs-johansson]

Chapter 4: Captain America: The Winter Soldier - Partners in crime

Part 8:

“It was him. He looked right at me like he didn't even know me,” Steve looked in front of him, still in shock.

“How's that even possible? It was like seventy years ago.” Sam thought out loud.

“I met him months ago and he didn’t recognize me, don’t take it personally,” I said. “Zola. Bucky's whole unit was captured in '43, Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him and…”

“None of that's your fault, Steve,” Natasha said, leaning back, her shoulder still bleeding. “Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky,” Steve mumbled. “Steve, get your head out of your ass. She’s gonna bleed out if we don’t get a doctor and you’re daydreaming about your long-lost friends. Can we not focus on you for one second?” I raised my voice. He was surprised by the quick mood change but then nodded.

Suddenly one of the guards pulled out an electric rod and neutralized the other guard and knocked him out. The guard took off their helmet and to everyone’s surprise, it was Hill. “Ah. That thing was squeezing my brain,” she complained. “Who's this guy?” She asked, referring to Sam. “You’re kidding, right? I was ready to stab you if you didn’t do anything,” I said and she just shrugged.

***

Helping Natasha out of the car, Maria led us into a compound thing, which was deep in a forest. Walking through a tunnel, a man jogged toward us. “GSW. She's lost at least a pint,” said Maria, to who I’m guessing is a doctor. “Maybe two,” I murmured as I saw the blood gushing through her fingers as Nat held pressure on the wound. “Let me take her,” offered the doctor. “She'll want to see him first,” we all looked at Maria then quickly found ourselves in front of an iron door. “He’s alive, isn’t he?” Natasha spoke weakly, anger crossing her face. The agent just nodded and I pushed open the door out of frustration.

And there he was, Nicky Fury laying in a hospital bed behind a plastic curtain. “You piece of shit, Fury! Should’ve seen this coming,” I walked closer to him. “About damn time…”

We all gathered around his bed, while Nat was getting treated. The squeeze of her hand and the scrunch of her nose was a sign that it was most definitely painful. “Lacerated spinal column, cracked sternum, shattered collarbone, perforated liver, one hell of a headache,” Fury listed his injuries. “Don't forget your collapsed lung.” “Oh, let's not forget that. Otherwise, I'm good.” “I don’t see how that is good…” Maria and I shared a look but she just shrugged.

“They cut you open, your heart stopped,” Natasha’s worried voice was something we don’t hear often. “Tetrodotoxin B. Slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Ban-” “I made that for Banner, his stress. For a Hulk, not a human. And it didn’t work on him. Are you out of your mind Nick?” I stepped forward and he shook his head. “He tested it before I used it.” “Why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?” Steve questioned. “Any attempt on the director's life had to look successful.” “Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides, I wasn't sure who to trust…” Glancing at Tash I could see how hurt she was from that. Since I’ve known her, she had problems with trusting in others but nobody thinks about their trust in her. People are so quick to judge because she was a spy, but she would be the first person that I’d trust with my life.

“Can we clean up somewhere?” I turned to Maria and she nodded. Reached my hand out to Nat and she took it then we followed Maria.

I asked for some clean clothes from Hill and washed all the dirt off of my body, but Natasha sat still, looking straight ahead. Wetting a smaller towel, I sat next to her. “Look at me please,” I said lowly and she turned her head but looked past my shoulder.

Gently cleaning her face, I didn’t want to bother her thinking but I know she was hurt. The empty look in her eyes was painful to see. “Nobody knew Nat,” going over the bloody part of her shoulder, she still didn’t speak. “Tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing, tell me that you would have told me or him, that you were planning on faking your death,” her eyes were quick to meet with mine. She didn’t understand my sudden mood change, but I needed her to listen. “Nick would put his life in your hands. Don’t ever doubt his trust, Tash. It was better this way, believe me,” “Don’t defend him,” she murmured. “I’m not defending him, I’m trying to protect you, Natalia. What if you knew and Barnes found you, hm?” “He wouldn’t hurt me,” she shrugged. “Why wouldn’t he?” I looked at her with a frown and she looked down then stood up with a sigh. “Talk to me.” I straightened up but stayed put.

Natasha was pacing the room. Then spoke. “As you know he became a trainer in the Red Room after I had my graduation. He was controlled then too, but much less. And he didn’t get missions at the time so he was there a lot,” she said. “The important part is?” I interfered. “We had an affair, okay? For years, and I didn’t want you to know because everything happened with him it was with my consent but with you it was different.” Her words were shocking. “How? How was that possible?” I shook my head out of disbelief, feeling my throat tighten up. “I was young and I thought I was in love. He was one of the only real human interactions that I had left.” “How did it end?” At that point, I couldn’t even look at her. “They caught us. He was taken immediately and hasn't seen him for at least a decade after that.” “You could’ve at least told me, Nat. Yes, it is a sensitive subject but damn this… I thought we were done with secrets,” I stood up and buried my head in my hands. “Gosh… This was the last thing I would’ve thought of as a problem. The problem is not even who, but why didn’t you tell me? I shared my whole life with you, and I was patient and understanding but I guess I’m still not enough to have your trust, huh?” I spread my arms getting angrier. “Y/n you know it’s hard for me to open up, and you accepted that when we got into a relationship,” Nat spoke up. “Yes, but we’ve been together for some time but sorry for assuming that you would trust me after this.” “I do trust you,” her calm demeanor was very frustrating. “No, you don’t. Natasha, I barely know anything about your past. Other than the Red Room, I know nothing,” I let my voice rise because I was just tired and I was not having her denial. “Why is that important?” Her voice got louder too, but I was ready to end this conversation. “You know what, please don’t talk to me until you learn about how a relationship works. I really tried my best to help you see it, but you just don’t want to so… let’s forget this until then.”

***

Sitting around the table, we were trying to go over the plan, but it was damn hard to focus when I basically just broke up with my girlfriend and she was sitting in front of me. Uncomfortable, that’s what it was.

Fury was just staring at a picture of Pierce. “This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said, "Peace wasn't an achievement, it was a responsibility." See, it's stuff like this that gives me trust issues,” he grumbled. Thanks, Nick, fuel the fire with your thoughts on trust issues. “We have to stop the launch.” “I don't think the Council's accepting my calls anymore,” said Fury and opened up a case with three chips in it. “What’s that?” Asked Sam. “Once the Helicarriers reach three thousand feet, they'll triangulate with Insight satellites becoming fully weaponized,” Maria let us know the information, showing us the screen. “We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own.” “They are all connected, right?” I asked and Hill nodded. “One or two won't cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work, because if even one of those ships remains operational a whole lot of people are gonna die.” “We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is HYDRA. We need to get past them, insert the server blades, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what's left…” “We're not salvaging anything. We're not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we're taking down SHIELD,” spoke Steve with his usual heroic voice, trying to play angel. Yeah, I’m mad at everybody at the moment. “SHIELD had nothing to do with it,” said Nick. “You gave me this mission, this is how it ends. SHIELD's been compromised, you said so yourself. HYDRA grew right under your nose and nobody noticed,” Steve pressed. “Why do you think we're meeting in this cave? I noticed.” He really did, the note he left. “And how many paid the price before you did?” This is getting personal. “Look, I didn't know about Barnes.” “Even if you have, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? SHIELD, HYDRA, it all goes,” I’m taking a break after this for sure if there’s an after. “He's right,” Nick looked around the others, then me. “I still have a job if SHIELD falls,” with a shrug, I leaned back in my chair. “Well... Looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain.”

[ejzah]

Can you do a drabble of Kensi apologizing to Deeks for forgetting his birthday in season 4.

Fix It

***

“Hey, don’t you finish off that burger while I’m gone,” Deeks warned Monty on his way out of the den, headed for the kitchen in search of a second beer. Monty gave a little whine, but when Deeks returned, his half of burger lay untouched. He thought there might be a couple fries missing, but he couldn’t blame Monty too much.

Deeks threw himself down on the couch, cracking open the beer, and grabbed the TV remote, searching around until he landed on a CHiPs marathon.

“You know, this definitely isn’t the worst birthday I’ve ever had,” he informed Monty, who seemed to raise one of his shaggy eyebrows. “Ok, it’s in the top ten, but not nearly as bad as the one I spent next to a dumpster as Arty.”

Or any of the ones when his dad was around and drunk off his ass.

He finished off his beer, and two episodes CHiPs (Monty only made it through one before he fell asleep with his head on Deeks’ knee), and debating a third drink, or a pint o ice cream of debatable age when there was a firm knock on the front door.

“I am so not in the mood for a sales pitch tonight,” he muttered, dragging himself to the door to glance through the peephole. Of all people, he did not expect Kensi to be standing there.

“Hey,” Kensi said when he opened the door. Her arms were folded behind her back, and she smiled a little too brightly.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” Deeks asked, leaning into door frame as Kensi shifted on the balls of her feet. “I thought you had a date.”

“Yeah, I did, but I also heard it’s my partner’s birthday and there’s no way I’m not celebrating such a momentous occasion.” Deeks gave a very hard eye roll at her explanation and she bobbled her head. “Plus, I brought ice cream cake. And no one can say no to cake.”

She pulled a paper bag out from behind her back and smiled invitingly.

“Alright, come on,” he said, ushering her in.

Kensi headed straight for the coffee table, busying herself with removing a slightly crushed plastic container. While she pried the lid off, he went to grab plates, knife, and forks.

“You know, this—Kens, what are you doing?” He settled his hands on his hips, sighing as he watched her hurriedly lighting several candles poked into the chocolate frosting covering the top of the cake.

“It’s not a birthday cake unless you make a wish,” she informed him, turning with the candle laden cake, presenting it at eye level with an expectant look. “C’mon, you know you want to. Pleaaaase?”

Unable to stop himself from chuckling, Deeks leaned over and blew them out with a single breath. Despite himself, he was touched by the effort. Yeah, it was a Dairy Queen cake she bought last minute, but it was more than he expected at this point.

“Thank you,” he said once they were on the couch and each had a slice of the now melting cake. It was extremely sweet, yet half of Kensi’s slice was already gone. “For this.”

“You’re welcome.” She trailed her fork through some frosting, focusing on the pattern left behind. “I’m sorry I got the date wrong,” she added, eyeing him briefly. “I honestly though it was the 18th.”

“Hey, it’s no big deal.” Deeks shrugged, brushing off the vestiges of his disappointment and hurt feelings. Yeah, it would have been nice it Kensi remembered his actual birthday and all. Continuing to blame her for it would just be petty though. “You, uh, had other things on your mind. Like you’re big date.”

“Oh, that.” Kensi made a derisive noise, shaking her head. “Yeah, tonight was kind of a disaster.”

“Why, what happened? Don’t tell me Jaime tried to make a move.”

Kensi avoided his gaze, letting her hair fall into her eyes as a blush crept up her cheeks.

“Seriously, did he try something, Kensi?” he checked, sitting straighter.

“No, of course not. And you know I’m more than capable of handling him if he had.” Her cheeks flushed a little more and mumbled something.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“He brought his mom!” she repeated more loudly. “And implied that we were in a relationship.”

Deeks burst into laughter before he could stop himself. “That is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard,” he gasped. Kensi glared at him, and he held up his hand, attempting to look contrite. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He snorted a few more times. “So, when’s the wedding?”

“Hilarious,” Kensi said dryly. “It was one of the most awkward, horrible nights of my life.”

“But it definitely made my night.”

“Well, I guess that’s something,” she commented, brushing her hair back with a deep sigh. She rested her cheek on her raised knees so her face was turned towards him, expression shifting again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t cancel, Deeks. I should have.”

“No worries,” he assured her, reaching over to brush her arm. “You came through in the end.”

She smiled back at him, shifting closer until they were pressed side to side, snatching the rest of his cake.

Maybe it wasn’t such a terrible birthday after all, he decided.

***

Thanks for the prompt! Hope you enjoyed it. I know this was a very contentious topic for many years.

[putawayurhalo]

Out For Blood | Chapter 4: 100mg

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Munson!Reader ; Eddie Munson x Fem!Henderson!O.C.

Warnings:  Strong language, some season 4 spoilers, nose bleeds, Tylenol usage, “BOOBIES!”, i know nothing about sports nor how a guidance counselor is suppose to talk to teens because mine sucked in high school lmao

Word Count: 4.1k words (longest one yet)

Author’s  Note: deadass thought I was never going to get this out because I finished it at 1 am my time said I would get it edited when I woke up and publish and then the internet was out for several hours... anyways here it is! might have another one out before Friday no promises though! Also I barely edited it,

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

< Previous | Next >

“Okay but Steve, you do realize you don’t have any obligations nor any commitments to these random girls you’re going on dates with right?” Robin asked Steve as he drove her to school.

“What are you even going on about Robin?” Steve asked, confused.

“You have this lack of self respect and a lack of respect for… well, actually that’s besides the point. You lack any conviction.” Robin began to ramble as she put on mascara.

“Conviction? I’ve never been charged with anything!” Steve practically shouted.

“No, oh my God, Steve, you lack any firmly held belief when it comes to girls. You go on like fifty dates a week and have no plans for the future with any of these girls, Harrington. I know you swear you’re not looking back on anyone you’ve dated or seriously liked,” Robin continued to ramble while moving her hands around as she spoke, “Look, since last year I’ve noticed your serious lack of ambition to do literally anything. That and your lack of common sense… which has always been a thing so…” She trailed off.

“Hey!” Steve looked over at her.

“Eyes on the road, dingus!” Robin shouted at him. “Besides, I wouldn't want to die before you and (Y/N) at least become friends again.” She mumbled but Steve still heard her.

“We’re never going to be friends again, Robin, she’s made that very clear and I have no idea what the fuck I’m suppose to do to change that.” Steve said quietly, “Anyways! What about you and Vickie?”

“Oh cut me some slack, please!” Robin started, “This isn’t about me, this about you! Besides, we just don't know if Vickie likes girls.”

“She returned Fast Times paused at fifty-three minutes and five seconds; do you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty-three minutes and five seconds?” Robin shook her head at Steve, “People who like boobies, Robin!”

“Ew! Gross!” Robin rolled her eyes.

“Boobies!” 

“Don’t say boobies!”

“It’s not a big deal! I like boobies, you like boobies! Vickie likes boobies!”

“Oh my God can we stop talking about boobies!” (Y/N) groaned as she slid farther down in the passenger seat of her brother’s car.

“I’m not the one who was watching Fast Times and at fifty-three minutes and five seconds when I came home last night.” Eddie spoke, wagging his index finger at his sister while keeping his eyes on the road.

“How do you even know that? Actually, don’t answer that I’m going to vomit.” (Y/N) covered her mouth with her hand.

“Not in my car!” Eddie screamed at her, eyes wide as he stared at her.

“I’m fucking joking, Eddie.” She giggled, “Now pay attention to the road, asshole.” 

The two sat in silence for about two minutes before Eddie spoke, “Why were you even watching Fast Times last night?”

(Y/N) sighed, “I was bored and I was sick of watching The Breakfast Club.” She didn’t exactly lie. 

“Yeah, but you never watch Fast Times, and you had what I can assume was half a box of tissues, used and next to you and an empty pint of ice cream, which was mine by the way.” Eddie pulled into the parking lot. “Look out of the two of us, I’m supposed to be the dramatic one… so whatever happened last night when Jenny dropped you off has to be serious.” 

“I really don’t want to talk about Eddie, so fucking drop it.” (Y/N) muttered, ejecting her mixtape for the car stereo and putting it into her Walkman. “Besides we don’t own Gremlins and we both know Gremlins Phoebe Cates if way better in that movie than in Fast Times.”

“Phoebe Cates!” Dustin shouted as he got into his sister’s car.

Jenny jumped slightly, “What?”

“Suzie is hotter than Phoebe Cates!” Dustin shouted again, startling Jenny more.

“Oh my gosh, Dust…” Jenny hit her forehead on her steering wheel before putting her car into drive.

“She helped me change my grade in Latin.” Dustin spoke.

“I’m not even going to ask how…” Jenny muttered. The sound of some pop song playing on the radio.

“So what’s Plan B?” Dustin asked after a few minutes.

“I don’t have one.” Jenny nonchalantly responded.

“WHAT?” Dustin yelled.

“Dustin, stop yelling in my car!” Jenny shouted at him, “I really thought plan A would work.”

Dustin and Jenny sat in silence for a few more minutes before she pulled into the school parking lot. Dustin turned toward his sister, “I have an idea, but you might not like it.”

“I just don’t understand why we keep having these meetings. I’m going in no direction, there’s no hope for me, and there’s no sense in trying to save my sorry ass.” (Y/N) spoke as she sat in the uncomfortable chair in the guidance counselor’s room. One arm resting on the back of the chair, the other just laying across her lap and she leaned back. She had been in there for thirty minutes and they were going in one circle with the questions and answers as they had always done and as much as (Y/N) hated her U.S. Government class she would rather listen to her teacher dwell on about random laws than deal with Ms. Kelly’s never ending questions about her nightmares, her nose bleeds, and her migraines. 

“Because it’s my job to make sure that all the students at Hawkins High are okay mentally.” Ms. Kelly started.

“See that’s the problem, this is simply a job for you. What happens when I graduate in a few months? Sure I may see you around town but there’s no way you’ll still actually give a fuck about the senior students you give ‘guidance’ to when you have a whole new set of Freshmen coming in next year. Besides, there’s no chance I’m making it out of Hawkins alive and not a slightest chance I’ll ever last outside of this shit hole.” (Y/N) spoke again leaning forward, her elbows resting on her knees, “There’s no getting through to me, and I’m not just going to wake up one day and get my life together just because you or anyone else asked me to.” 

She grabbed her backpack, “Look, Ms. Kelly, you’re a very nice lady and I’m sure you do actually give a fuck about us kids’ well-beings, but there’s no sense in any of this if everything still happens for no reason whatsoever. And quite frankly, I’m sick of everyone asking me if I’m okay and asking me to talk about my problems. I don’t want to talk about them anymore, I want to live my life instead of thinking about how my best friend died and I wasn’t there to save her, how the boy I was madly crushing on borderline in love with out of nowhere stood me up, and I sure as hell don’t want to talk about what the fuck happened to my parents either.” She stood up, “Good talk.” She said as she left the room bumping into Chrissy Cunningham, “Shit I’m so sorry Chrissy.”

“It’s okay.” She gave her a wide smile before entering Ms. Kelly’s room. 

“You want me to do what?” (Y/N) asked Jenny.

“Cover for me with the cheer squad tonight. I know it’s the last game but I really need to get a hundred on this math test and Eddie’s supposed to tutor me tonight.” Jenny told her best friend as they walked down the school hallway. 

“Doesn’t he have Hellfire tonight?” (Y/N) raised her eyebrow.

“Yes! But he’s helping me study before the session, that’s what it’s called right, starts and then during the session I’m taking the practice test Mr. F gave to us and he’s going to grade it after. I won’t have time to cheer tonight.” Jenny pouted slightly.

“Oh my God, fine, I’ll cover for you, but you owe me big time.” (Y/N) spoke as she opened the restroom door, a smaller presence walking into the restroom first and muttering a small ‘thank you’ to her, “I’ll see you at lunch?” Jenny nodded and continued walking down the hallway.

“Hey, Max.” (Y/N) spoke as she washed her hands and looked over at the young girl.

“Hey.” Max muttered as she slipped her headphones off and reached into her backpack. “Need one?” She asked the older teen as she pulled a Tylenol bottle out.

“You are a lifesaver.” (Y/N) sighed in relief as Max passed her two pills, she grabbed an unopened water bottle out of her bag and went to pass her it but Max shook her head and dry swallowed the pills. (Y/N) took the pills and sipped the water, “I don’t know how you do that.”

“Yeah… yeah.” Max responded. “You owe me.”

“I know,” (Y/N) started, “do you think it’s something at the trailer park causing our headaches?” 

“I don’t know, my mom and your brother don’t seem to get them.” Max replied with a sigh.

“Yeah but my brother is constantly high and well…” (Y/N) trailed off. Max nodded and went to open her mouth to reply when they heard a sob and the sounds of someone throwing up, “Hey, are you alright in there?”

“I’m okay.” The person said.

“Chrissy? Do you need help?” Max asked her getting closer to the stall.

“I’m alright, thank you though.”

“You sure?” (Y/N) asked this time head tilted.

“Yes, thank you!” Chrissy responded.

“Okay… let’s go Max.” (Y/N) started and nodded her head towards the door, “I’ll get you those sour gummy worms you like out of the vending machine.”

“(Y/N)!” A voice called as she walked down the hallway past the gymnasium doors.

“What?!” She said with a slight attitude before turning around and seeing Chrissy, “Oh my, Chrissy, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Chrissy giggled, “Have you seen Jenny? She wasn’t at practice and she still hasn’t shown up.”

“I’m looking for her as well, actually, but if I find her I’ll let you know.” (Y/N) lied to the sweet girl and felt bad about it.

“Thank you!” Chrissy ran back inside the gym and (Y/N) sighed as soon as the doors closed. She walked down the hall towards the drama club room and opened the door with a little too much force.

“What the hell am I supposed to tell Chrissy when I go back out there without you Jennifer!” (Y/N) said as she walked over to her friend.

“Oooooh, is the hot Munson sibling filling in for Lucas?” Gareth asked.

“Gross!” Both Eddie and (Y/N) said at the same time. “That’s my sister!”

“Firstly, Gareth, I will never ever play D&D with you dweebs ever again and secondly, no, I’m going to go support Lucas because my brother here is a jackass and won’t move the session to tomorrow night so you could go support him.” (Y/N) glared at her brother.

“I already explained to you tha-.” Eddie started.

“I know!” (Y/N) interrupted, “You don’t want to watch a bunch of jocks throw balls into laundry baskets or whatever the fuck you said in the cafeteria, and God knows I can’t stand Jason at all but Lucas deserves support from his friends, from the people he’s close to… from us. He’d do the same for us.” (Y/N) replied before crossing her arms over her chest and looking at her beloved best friend, “Seriously are you going to actually come out there or are you going to work on math homework all night? You know Spring Break starts after this game right? You have all of the break to do this bullshit.” 

“No, I really need to get this done today, I have plans for this break.” Jenny replied as she worked on a math problem.

“Plans? What plans?” (Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at her best friend.

“Ya know… plans.” Jenny replied nervously, tapping the end of her pencil on her notebook.

Eddie took note of the action and jumped in, “Are you really going to support Lucas or are you going to see Harrington?” He teased.

“Why the fuck would he be here?” (Y/N) asked her brother, completely forgetting her question to Jenny.

“Because he has a date!” Jeff spoke mid chip chew.

“What?” (Y/N) softly asked. Jenny kicked Jeff from under the table and glared at him earning an ow. “You know, I’m just going to go. I’ll tell Chrissy I couldn’t find you, figure out what you’re telling her after the game.” (Y/N) left the room, no longer in the mood to talk.

“Is it me or has she been more bitchy since this morning?” Eddie asked Jenny. 

Jenny rolled her eyes ignoring her boyfriend’s question and glaring at Jeff and Gareth more, “Did you two not listen to a single word Eddie and I were talking about or were you two too busy being total dumbasses?” 

Eddie chuckled at what she said while Jeff and Gareth glared back at her. 

As (Y/N) walked down the hallway she passed by Mike, Dustin, and Erica, giving the trio a puzzled look before shrugging and minding her business as she continued to the gymnasium doors. She looked over at Chrissy who’s eyes widened and she smiled slightly as she saw her, she shook her head answering the silent question she was asked and Chrissy’s smile flattened.

(Y/N) made her way up the bleachers and passed by Robin, “(Y/N) you’re here! I thought you’d be, I don’t know, anywhere but here!” Robin spoke.

“And miss your last band performance and Lucas’ last game as a freshman? Not a chance in hell would I do that.” She smiled at her friend and she continued up the bleachers and sat at the end of one of the rows. She pulled the book and her Walkman out of her bag, having no actual interest in the game, placing the headphones on her head leaving one ear uncovered and pressing play on the tape.

She was too engulfed to hear or see Steve walk up the bleachers with his date and sit across the stairs from her, only noticing him when they announced Tammy Thompson was singing the National Anthem, “Told you a Muppet.” She heard Steve say to Robin and she giggled slightly at the joke, Steve turning his head to look at her and smiling, she only caught a glimpse of his smile before turning away from him. 

The game seemed to go on forever, (Y/N) had barely paid attention but she did look up at the scoreboard and saw they were only a few points behind and about a minute left on the clock, as the timeout was over she saw Lucas running out on the court. She took her headphones off and laid them on her shoulders and placed her book back in her bag. The whistle rang, the game began again, (Y/N) stood up so she could see over the sea of heads in front of her, she tried her best to follow where the ball was at, seeing it get passed to Lucas, she watched as he dribbled the ball and shot it. Everything felt like it was in slo-mo, “Come on Lucas.” She whispered to herself as she watched the ball hit the rim and slowly roll around. She started picking at the skin around her nails again… and then it went in. “Oh my God! YES!” She yelled and cheered. She felt like a proud friend, a proud sister even of the young boy. 

“Hey.” (Y/N) felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around and saw Chrissy, “Do you know where your brother is at?” She asked.

“He’s probably in the drama club room with the Hellfire Club… why?” (Y/N) asked her.

“Oh…” Chrissy paused for a second, “I, uh, borrowed his pencil in class and promised to give it back but I forgot. I just want to give it back to him.”

“Hmm.” (Y/N) hummed in response with an eyebrow raised, she opened her mouth to say something else felt someone else tap her shoulder.

“(Y/N), how amazing was that game? Wasn’t it amazing Steve?” Robin rambled all giddy. 

“Is she good?” (Y/N) asked Steve as she looked at Robin. 

“Yeah, she’s almost always like this.” Steve replied to her looking down at his feet.

“I’ll be right back!” Robin shouted as she ran off to who knows where leaving Steve and (Y/N) to stand by themselves. The two just stood there in semi-silence, the only noise coming from the girl’s headphones and the conversations of the students walking around them, (Y/N) was fiddling with her fingers and biting the inside of her cheek while Steve looked over at her. Suddenly the basketball players were walking past them, none of them seemed to care that they would bump into the girl so Steve grabbed her arms quickly and pulled her into him. 

“What?” The girl started to question.

“Shh.” Steve said as he held her tighter, she looked over her shoulder and noticed the jocks walking right through where she was standing, not giving a single shit about the other students standing or walking around there.

“Jesus, thank you Steve.” She muttered as the group finished walking by, Steve loosened his grip and she backed away.

“Your nose…” Steve pointed to her and she wiped her index finger under her nose and found blood.

“Fuck.” She whispered as she reached into her bag and pulled out a napkin placing it under her nose, “God dammit this is embarrassing.” 

“I mean, you’ve done worse in front of me.” Steve joked, trying to make her feel better.

“When do we intervene?” Robin asked Jenny and Dustin as the three of them watched from where Jenny’s car was parked. 

“If they start fighting… or in like five minutes because I’ve got to make sure (Y/N) doesn’t see Eddie leave without her.” Jenny spoke.

“Why would he leave without his sister?” Dustin asked.

“He has something to do.” Jenny told him, “Now shh I’m trying to hear them.”

“Hey, Steve,” (Y/N) started, “I have a question… well actually two.” 

“Shoot away, Lil’ Munson.” 

She pondered for a second on which one to ask first, “Do you ever feel like you’re living in a hollow shell of what you used to be? Like you’re not fulfilling these expectations everyone has for you?” 

Steve scoffed, “Everyday… What made you ask?”

“This conversation I had with Ms. Kelly today. Kind of told her to fuck off though.” (Y/N) smiled slightly as she spoke, for the first time in a while it was a genuine one.

“You told her to fuck off?” 

“Well, I’m really sick of every time I go in there for our ‘meetings’ it’s the same five questions; how’s your migraines? The nightmares? Has your nose bled this week? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about your parents? I don’t want to answer any of that anymore.” She shared with him and he nodded. (Y/N) sighed in relief before feeling a sharp pain in her temple, “Ow! Fuck!” She held a palm to her head as she reached into her bag and pulled out a small packet of Tylenol, “Can you open these for me?”

Steve nodded, “Sure.” He took the packet from her and opened it for her, waited as she reached into her bag and grabbed a water bottle, he noticed the book that laid toward the top of the chaotic mess. “What was your other question?”

The other trio watched from afar, “Is she okay?” Dustin asked Jenny, the girl nodded her head.

“Just give them a second.” Jenny started to bite her lip, “Plan B has to work. Please let this plan work.”

(Y/N) downed the two pills and drank some water before looking at Steve and asking, “What happened to your date?” 

“Oh… she uh, she left right after the game… with one of the basketball players.” He sighed.

(Y/N)’s shoulders fell and the look she gave him softened slightly, “Oh Steve, I’m sorry.”

Steve was taken back at her empathy, “It’s all good,” he shook his head, “To be honest I wasn’t really paying much attention to her tonight.”

“Yeah, I get it, the game was so interesting.” She responded with a slight giggle.

“How would you know? You had your head buried in 1984 and listened to that mixtape the whole time until Lucas was on the court.” Steve raised an eyebrow at her.

“It’s not my fault that the game is boring besides I was only there fo- Hey! How did you even know that?” (Y/N) asked him, shock evident in her tone.

“Because I wasn't paying attention to the game either.” Steve looked her in the eyes, (Y/N) gasped quietly at his confession the two were now closer to each other than before, standing in front of one another, another step closer from either of them and they’d be chest to chest again.

“Steve! I’ve got to get home, come on Dingus!” Robin called as she walked up to the duo who jumped further apart from one another, Dustin and Jenny hot on her trail both with annoyed looks on their faces.

“Okay, Robin!” Steve responded and started walking towards his car, he turned around and looked back at (Y/N), “Hey, (Y/N/N),” The girl hummed in response, “I think you should know I’ve never met anyone who’s as special to me as you are.” The girl’s cheeks grew warm and she smiled smally at his words. Steve smiled back at her before turning back around and making his way to his car.

“You want to stay the night tonight?” Jenny asked her, pulling (Y/N) out of her daze.

“Sure… let me go tell Eddie.”

“Already taken care of.” Jenny smiled at her, “We can even watch Gremlins when we get home.” The trio walked towards Jenny’s car, Dustin immediately hopping into the back seat. 

Jenny started the car and the radio started, Cyndi Lauper’s cover of ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’ playing, “I can change it if you want.” Jenny immediately reached for the radio.

“No, no. Leave it on.” (Y/N) smiled at Jenny.

“But it was Roxy’s favorite song.” Jenny looked at her bestie confused. (Y/N) nodded and hummed along to the song as it played.

A little while later, Jenny pulled into the local grocery store, “I’m getting snacks and ice cream, anything you specifically want.”

(Y/N) shook her head and Dustin spoke, “Popcorn!”

“Already on the list Dust.” Jenny laughed as she exited the car, “Be right back.”

Dustin leaned forward over the center console, “Can I ask you a question, (Y/N)?”

“Sure Dust.” 

“How close were you and Roxanne?” He asked, he carefully worded the question not wanting to accidentally upset the girl.

“We were best friends since elementary, kind of like you and the boys, and then we became friends with your sister in middle school. All of us were inseparable, until last summer when she spent her time with Billy and Jenny and I spent our time with Steve and Robin.” (Y/N) answered truthfully.

“So you let a boy get between you guys?” He asked.

“I wouldn’t put it that way. Friends grow apart sometimes and Roxy was more interested in Billy Hargrove than she was in being friends with Jenny and I… the same could be said for me though, I was more interested in spending my days talking to Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington than going to the city pool and watching Roxy ogle at douche bag Billy.” She leaned back in her chair, “There’s just a part of me that still thinks I could have saved her. That I could have hung out with her more and she wouldn’t have been at the mall with Billy when it caught on fire.”

Dustin frowned at her words, “You shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“Dustin, you don’t have to make me feel better.” (Y/N) looked at him, “Besides, I’m already living in a hollow shell.”

“A hollow shell?” Dustin asked her.

“I’ve become numb to the topic of death, I mean talking about it once a week for the entire school year does that to a girl.” Dustin noticed a difference in her demeanor, one moment she’s happy and fine like the (Y/N) he’s known for six years and the next she’s back to this girl with a gloom cloud above her head, “My uncertainty is everlasting and perennial, small child, and is it even possible when you’re already in hell?”

Taglist (still open for now): @preciousbabypeter​ @honeymunson​ @willgrahampills​ @secretsicanthideanymore​ @hiphopdancer101universe​ @tanyaherondale​ @lettyshush​ @kayt-marie​

[missymurphy1985]

Out of the Blue

*This was a request*

Warnings - smut / unplanned pregnancy / talk of abortion

I've used a fictional family for Cillian for this, names have been changed.

"That's it then," Cillian sighed, reading the letter from his solicitor, his friend Adam sitting opposite him in the kitchen of Cillian's new apartment in North Dublin. The Decree Nisi, his divorce from Kate now final. He felt a tinge of sadness, he couldn't help it, they'd spent most of their lives together and shared two teenage boys, but he couldn't forgive her cheating on him while he was away filming, the trust had left him completely.

"To a fresh start, Cill." Adam raised his bottle of beer to Cillian's pint of Guinness as they toasted, Ada ln trying to lighten the darkness in his best friend's eyes. "You're better off without her - now you can move on."

"Yeah no thanks, I'm done with women for a LONG time Ad, they're all the fucking same!" Cillian smiled, almost a laugh. "All I'm interested in now is the boys, they've been through one hell of a rollercoaster this last year."

"When are they coming to stay?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, I've got them all weekend."

"Then tonight Mr Murphy I am taking you OUT! Come on, we can go check out that new bar in the city, there's a band on!" Cillian groaned, that was not his plan for this evening. All he wanted was his pyjamas, a good book and an early night. This wasn't lost on Adam. "I'm not taking no for an answer here, come on! It's been months since you went out, let's do this!"

"Adam please... Not tonight yeah? Maybe next week, or.."

"Enough! No! You're not moping any more, I'm taking to out and that's the end of it." Cillian rolled his eyes. Fuck it, arguing with Adam was pointless, he'd known this since high school.

Within an hour they were ready, both of them in jeans and Timberland boots, Cillian in a blue striped t shirt and Adam in a green one. Hair fixed, they headed out to the waiting taxi outside.

"The first sign of someone trying to take my picture, I'm out of there Adam..." Cillian dreaded the thought of being papped out on the town following his divorce. The papers just wanted a scoop on who he'd be sleeping with now he was freshly single and available. Adam nodded in agreement a deal, as the taxi pulled outside the bar.

******************************

Y/n woke up, her head pounding. Opening her eyes she looked around at her surroundings, not recognising a single thing.

"The fuck have you done this time y/n..." You groaned, rolling your eyes and sitting up gingerly, trying to stop the contents of your stomach from evacuating violently over the unfamiliar bedsheets. Glancing at the alarm clock, you groaned again. 8am... Why the hell was it so damn early.. and where the fuck was she?? She heard a door downstairs open and close, and froze. She wasn't alone. Footsteps up the stairs, she quickly hid back under the covers pretending to be asleep as she heard the bedroom door open and the pressure on the side of the bed as someone sat down next to her sleeping body.

"Hey.. you awake?" An Irish voice filled the silence, as the smell of fresh coffee found its way under the duvet you were hiding under. Clenching your eyes tightly together, you slowly pulled the duvet back and opened them, seeing the man you clearly spent the previous evening with. Your eyes found his.. my god they were so blue.. he was handsome.. bit older than you, maybe? You couldn't tell for sure. You definitely recognised him from somewhere other than last night though, maybe he went to uni with you?

"Um... Morning.. I uh -" you sat up, taking the coffee from his hand, thanking him.

"Did we -"

"Did we.."

You both spoke at the same time. Clearly neither of you remembering the night before. You smiled, he smiled, before you both burst out laughing.

"Fucking hell, how wasted were we? We can't even remember if we had sex or not? I've NEVER been that drunk.. listen I'm sorry, this isn't exactly a great morning after huh?" He took a sip of his coffee, blushing slightly.

"Hey this is not something I do regularly okay.." he shook his head agreeing, neither did he.

"Cillian." He offered you his hand to shake, still smirking. "Listen if you can't remember if we had sex, you definitely can't remember my name..." Your turn to blush now.

"Y/n. And no. I definitely don't remember. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm still fully clothed? I don't think we had sex then redressed, do you?" You laughed, showing him you were still wearing the top and jeans you had on last night.

The pair of you laughed in relief.. eyes meeting again as the tension finally left the room.

"I can drive you home whenever you're ready y/n. If you need to get back?" Cillian offered.

"Erm.. oh yeah.. that'd be great, thank you.. listen, would it be cheeky to ask for a shower, or..."

"Hey, no not at all! Just through there," he pointed to his en suite. "I'll fetch you a towel, take your time."

You smiled. Those beautiful blue eyes were captivating you completely, you couldn't drag your own eyes away. He couldn't take his own from yours either, that tension was back, but it was a different kind of tension this time. Neither of you could remember how you got here, but neither of you minded that it had happened.

"You.. I'll go have that shower, yeah?" You moved to stand but stumbled slightly, landing closer to Cillian. He didn't move. Your face was now a mere few inches from his. Those eyes, once again never leaving yours. Your core burned, glancing down you saw the obvious excitement in his trousers, causing you to groan quietly.

He leaned in slowly, lips brushing yours carefully. You couldn't stop yourself kissing him back, within seconds the kiss becoming heated, tongues colliding. He leaned you back down onto the bed, moving his body to cover your own. You couldn't stop yourself, it was as if you were moving in autopilot, everything inside your core was on fire, demanding more of this incredible man immediately.

He stopped kissing you and hovered over your face, rubbing his nose against yours.

"Are you sure about this y/n?" You nodded, and kissed him again hungrily, parting your legs as he fell between them, grinding his own hips against yours. You could feel his hard-on, and you bucked your hips against his.

"Please... Don't stop now... I need this.. even if I never see you again after this Cill, just let me.."

"Baby I don't do one night stands... I'm taking you for breakfast as soon as we're done. Deal?" You smiled, no that was probably a grin. Breakfast sounded damn good right now, but not as good as he'd feel buried inside you.

"Deal. Now fuck me.. please?"

"Your wish is my command." Clothes removed, he grabbed a condom from his jeans pocket (Adam bought them the night before, he remembered that part at least, him slipping a couple into his jeans pocket as Cillian protested he wasn't going to sleep with anyone that night anyway...) Slipping it on, he pushed himself inside you, filling you completely.

"Fuck... Cillian that's fucking it..." You raised your hips with each thrust, he buried his face into your neck, biting the skin and sucking it slightly. You could hear him moaning into your collarbone.

"Shit you feel good... So fucking tight y/n..."

"Harder... Cillian, harder..." Your nails scratched down his back - if he was marking you, you were absolutely marking him in return. His thrusts now came hard and fast, as your walls clenched around him, your body finding that sweet release you needed, you hands pulling his hair hard. He came immediately after you, with a low moan into your hair as he pulled it in return, both of you panting trying to catch your breath.

"Shit me... I wasn't expecting that.." Cillian eased himself out, catching the condom before throwing it on the floor by the bed. Collapsing next to you, he turned to face you.

"I'm sorry... I don't even know you and I'm fucking you.. this isn't me y/n, I mean it, I don't do this, I've NEVER done this before."

"Hey, you've never had a one time thing? Seriously?"

"I was married for 20years until last night y/n!" He laughed, causing you to smile too. Suddenly your smile dropped a little.

"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking.."

"42. You?"

"If I tell you, don't freak out yeah?"

"Y/n I know you're younger okay, just tell me. It's okay."

"24." His eyes widened, was that in horror? Shock? Disgust? You couldn't tell but it didn't look good...

"24?? Shit me... The press are gonna have a field day with this..." You sat up, suddenly extremely self conscious. Age was never an issue for you, you actually preferred an older man, but it clearly bothered him.

"The press?" You asked, confused. "Why on earth would they be bothered?"

Cillian looked at you. You looked back at him completely deadpan. Shit, you were serious.

"Google me. Cillian Murphy." You reached into your jeans pocket for your phone and typed his name.

"Oh shit..."

**********************************

"Y/n, you still with me?" Cillians voice floated through the screen, knocking you from your daydream. Filming over in England for Peaky Blinders, Skype calls were your norm now.

"What? Shit sorry, baby, I was in a world of my own then! What did you say?"

"I asked if that delivery had arrived from Amazon, those books I ordered? You ok?"

"What books? Oh, those.. erm yeah I think so, something arrived for you earlier anyway, I left it on the kitchen side for you for when you get home next week. At least I think I did..."

"What's going on with you? Are you okay? You haven't been yourself for a few days now, forgetting things? You left your keys at work the other day, your phone in your friend's car.. what's going on?" Truth be told, you had no idea. Since your chest infection four months ago, you'd lost the ability to adult. You and Cillian had moved into a new home on the outskirts of Dublin 4 months ago, that morning after being the start of a blossoming romance, that led to you moving in together within the space of 6 months. Everyone had something to say, especially his ex wife who was still telling everyone who'd listen that you were obviously sleeping together while Cillian was still married, obviously he traded her in for a younger model, obviously blah, blah, blah... Never mind the fact that SHE cheated on HIM, no mention of that... Luckily your friends and family saw past all of it, and welcomed the new relationship - seeing how good you two fitted together, it wasn't hard to see why. You were the gin to his tonic, exactly what you both needed without you knowing you needed it. But these last few months, you'd felt completely spaced out - not even you could deny it.

"That chest infection really knocked the wind out my sales Cill, I haven't been right since! My mind's gone to absolute mush! Maybe I'm just run down, I've got the rest of the week off now so I'll get some rest, I promise."

"Maybe book a doctor's appointment y/n, you should be over this by now, you took all your antibiotics, yeah?"

"Yep, every one, right on time. Babe I'm so tired! I can't explain it!"

"Hit the sack babe, get an early one. I'll call you tomorrow. Don't forget to make that appointment okay?" You agreed, eyes growing heavy. You told each other I love you before closing the call and heading straight to bed.

You left the doctor's appointment the following day with tears in your eyes. This couldn't be happening... You took out your phone to call Serena, your best friend.

Approaching her front door, she opened it and immediately held you as sobs racked your body. Taking you inside away from any prying paparazzi, she put the kettle on.

"He's gonna kill me Serena... This isn't supposed to happen! We agreed - this wasn't part of our plan!! What am I going to do? How could I have been so stupid?"

"This isn't your fault y/n.. and he is not going to kill you, okay?" Nausea overcame you and you ran to her downstairs toilet, your breakfast evacuating violently into the toilet bowl. Serena made you a glass of water. Your phone vibrated, Cillian's name appearing on the screen. You ignored it. Again. Three times he'd called, three times you ignored it.

"You have to tell him sooner or later, y/n..." Serena was at the door, glass of water in hand.

"How? How exactly do I tell the man who is adamant he wants no more children that I'm fucking pregnant Serena? And I'm already 13 weeks gone? How did I not know?" Sobs overcame you again, your phone vibrating a fourth time. This time, a voicemail was left. Shakily, you listened to it.

"Y/n what the fuck? Call me. Call me right now." He didn't sound happy - from just a few missed calls, that was a bit extreme! Once you'd calmed down, Serena left you alone in her kitchen while you called him back via WhatsApp, hands still shaking.

"Baby, what's going on?? Paul's just shown me a photo on Twitter of you leaving the doctors with tears in you eyes, what the hell is happening?" You cursed yourself.. fucking photographers everywhere!

"Babe, are you alone? And sitting down? Put your phone on video call." He did as you asked and you saw his panic-stricken face fill the screen as you settled your phone on the counter. He saw your pale, tear-stained face and turned a shade of white.

"Y/n what is it?"

"I went to the doctor's -"

"I know that, y/n..."

"Look, this is easier if you don't interrupt me, yeah?" He nodded an apology and sat back, arms folded. "So that chest infection.. I had to take antibiotics. And it would appear that antibiotics... Well.. they render the pill completely useless and -" his eyes widened as he listened to you.

"The fuck are you saying y/n?"

"I'm pregnant, Cillian. 13 weeks." You closed your eyes, waiting for him to scream at you. Shout at you. Curse you. But he said nothing. Silence. Complete radio silence. You opened your eyes, tears threatening to fall any second. "Well fucking say something Cill!"

"I... I don't... Fuck y/n... This is a joke, right? You're joking? It's April 1st and you're having me on, yeah?"

"No, Cillian, it's July 15th and I am not FUCKING JOKING!!" The tears fell freely now, how much of an arsehole could he be. You saw him stand up and walk across the room out of view and your tears fell harder. Serena re-entered the room hearing your sobs but you waved her back. Composing yourself..

"Cillian... Cillian are you still there? Cillian?!" He came back into view and sat back down, eyes wet. He was crying.

"I'm sorry.. baby I'm sorry I didn't mean.." choking his words, so many emotions running through his mind. Another wave of nausea saw you suddenly dash out of view to throw up in the toilet again. All he saw was you run.

"Y/n?? Baby?? Where you going??" Serena came into view.

"Cill she's fine - it's morning sickness. She's okay don't worry." Cillian breathed a sigh of relief seeing your best friend there, at least you weren't alone.

"Listen, go take care of her yeah, tell her to call me when she's feeling okay.. and tell her I love her. We'll be okay. Everything will be okay, I promise." Serena smiled, nodding her head, ending the call, making her way back to you, still wretching into the bowl.

*************************************

"How are you feeling?" Cillians voice helped to ease the pain. Your morning sickness had subsided, at least for the last couple of days. Your bump appeared out of nowhere once you'd found out you were pregnant, but with the sudden change in your body came changes you really didn't appreciate - your pelvis was agony. Since you hit the 7 month mark, it felt like it was on fire daily.

"Like dogshit. Like my hips want to cripple me. This is hell Cillian, I miss you so much!" You started to cry again, Cillian feeling completely helpless. He'd already missed so much of this precious time filming, neither of you able to come home or visit due to Covid restrictions and y/n having a high risk pregnancy. Severe morning sickness, coupled now with severe pelvic girdle pain, doctors had signed you off on sick until your maternity leave kicked in in 6 weeks time. You couldn't walk now without crutches, relying on friends and family to bring you groceries. You were beginning to resent your own baby, which made you feel even worse.

"I'm on the first flight home tomorrow morning, we wrapped filming up a month early so I could come home sooner. I wanted to surprise you, but I'm shit at surprises!" He chuckled, causing you to giggle too. You perked up, still lay on the sofa like a bloated whale but at least you were smiling now.

"Really? You'll be home tomorrow?"

"Flight lands at 7am. I'll be home by 7:45. And I'm not going anywhere, y/n, I've cleared my schedule. Nothing coming up, no press, no interviews, I'm completely yours and the baby's for the foreseeable future. I promise." Tears fell again, but this time, happy ones. He'd be home in less than 12 hours. One more sleep, and he'd be home.

*************************************

"Come on y/n... You can do this!" You gripped Cillians hand hard as another contraction rippled painfully across your abdomen. Why the fuck did you refuse the epidural? What the hell were you thinking??

"I can't... I can't do it... Cillian I've been doing this for hours I can't..... Aaaaahhhhhh!" You screamed as your body took over and you bore down. The midwife ordering you to push.

"You can, you can baby, come on... She's nearly here! So close now, just a little longer..." He breathed with you, patting your head with a cold flannel to cool you down. Another contraction, another push...

Suddenly the room erupted with a baby's loud cry, swiftly followed by your own. Cillians eyes watered as your daughter was lifted in the air, still attached by the umbilical cord. Cillian cut it, taking your daughter into his arms. It was already decided he would hold your baby first, after all, you'd been carrying her for 9 months! You choked, seeing him holding your baby for the first time, as he carried her over to you to hold to your chest.

"She's here... She's beautiful.. look at her eyes Cillian!" Ocean blue, just like his.

"She has your nose y/n... My god she's perfect..." He kissed your head gently, openly sobbing now and not caring in the slightest. He thanked you. He thanked you for bringing his daughter safely into the world, for going through hell during the worst pregnancy you could've imagined..

"All worth it... Every second.. but I'm never doing this again Cillian.. I mean it, never again." You glared at him then at the scissors on the table, then down at his groin.

"Fuck off, y/n, I'm not having anyone snipping anything down there..."

"Looks like a life of celibacy then Murphy, that's the only logical conclusion."

"I'll book an appointment next week." You smirked. Very rarely did you not get your own way, and now he had two girls against him, he knew he'd never get his OWN way ever again.

And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Taglist:

@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @margoo0

[stopeatingwhales]

playing cards x damon albarn

THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE OMG OK. hope you guys enjoy it!!!! I love arrogant damon sorry not sorry <3

Pairing: 1995 damon albarn x reader

Warnings: alcohol use

Word count: 2.339

@damonfuckingalbarn this is 4 u!!!! <3

༉‧₊˚✧

“Have this, you’ll like it far much more than what you’re drinking.”

Diverting my gaze from the beverage encapsulated in my palm, I met my view with the mysterious voice that had beckoned in my direction. “Excuse me?” I said, first landing my glare on his ethereal orbs, spheres that were so magnificent that I had to attempt a double-take; the idiosyncratic shades, merged together to create a masterpiece of different blues, as if they were small fragments of the water from most pure oceans, exemplifying the ideation of eyes that engulf you in at the instant - simply gazing into his orbs was the token I had needed to be entirely enthralled by his presence. Perhaps his gaze was too intense, too enticing, leading me on to trail my stare to admire the more gorgeous head of hair, which looked as if it hadn’t been brushed, though that portrayed its attractiveness. His face was beaming toward my direction, taking me aback slightly as I quickly ditched the sight of his face, drifting my sight to gawk at the two drinks clasped by his hands. “That looks like shit.”

A small scoff escaped his throat, evident that he was not expecting the abrupt attitude that had beckoned upon my lips. Slightly embarrassed at my dramatic remark, I adjusted my posture, accentuating such confidence that I had seemingly demonstrated so diligently with my demeanour. “Just try it.” he replied, placing one of the glasses on the dark wood counter, pushing it towards my direction lightly to prevent it from slipping off the glossy counter. Leaning my torso closer to the counter, I spent a couple seconds examining the contents of the unknown drink, it being something that I had never set my eyes upon.

Placing my original drink on the countertop, I nervously grasped the ambiguous drink that he had offered me, glancing back at him with an unsure expression illustrated on my features. In a way to reassure or encourage me, he nodded his head, resulting in me then taking a small sip to ease myself into the new flavour. Before the liquid had merely touched the back of my throat, I spat the contents back out into the glass. “That’s minging!” I choked, my face scrunching up in disgust. Focused on each move I was making, I felt his eyes continue to gawk at me as I attempted to rid the awful taste that lingered on my tongue by taking a lengthy sip of my pint, swallowing down the contents gleefully. Connecting my stare with his, I once again analysed his features, almost like my mind trying to discover what had been the true ideal that his beauty had enthralled me so rapidly just gaping at him. Perhaps I had over-emphasised his gorgeousness too much, though my doubts were denied as soon as my view had set upon his face once again. He had a smirk carefully illustrated at the side of his lip, curving the top of his cheek slightly, his face sculpted so delicately it urged the want to caress your finger against his skin, it conveying the impression that it was so soft, accentuating the prettiness of his facial features. Something inside me was itching towards the fact that he was somebody I knew, or at least somebody that I had seen somewhere, until it had clocked that he was from television, more specifically Top Of the Pops, last night. "You're that singer from that art school band, aren't you?" I questioned, my vision squinted together as I challenged my active recall abilities. “Damon isn’t it?”

"Wow, you know your music!" he laughed, edging his arm to rest on the counter. The stare orchestrated between us remained, as I left my mind to ponder over the common-knowledge of how men were like in bands. Aware of what he was going to solicit, and knowing that he would think it was going to be extremely easy, I had to prepare myself not to fall for it, no matter how good-looking or tempting the concept engulfed in my brain made it out to be. "Want to go out for dinner tomorrow?"

“No, sorry.” I bluntly replied, breaking the poignant eye contact to down the rest of my drink, slightly forcing the glass containing the beverage he had offered me, back to him. If I had my eyes lingering on his for any longer, I’d end up doing something I’d highly regret the next morning.

“Why not?” he quizzed, bewildered by my sudden response. Clearly he had never had a woman decline his offer before, or was definitely not expecting it after he had gone head to head and won against the second biggest band in the country the night previous. So arrogant.

“Because I don’t want to?” I replied, slightly amused by how perplexed he had gotten. Darting my eyes around the dimly-lit room, my gaze fixated on a booth consisting of boys that, from my vague memory, believed were his band members. Knowing that he was still looking at me, I allowed a smirk to fall on my lips as I thought of what to say next. “I've actually got my eye on that guy over there," I mumbled, pointing towards the familiar booth of boys, my index finger lingering on the tall, lanky boy, whose hair looked as soft as the petals of a newly-bloomed rose. Granting my finger to saunter for a while, it directed enough time for Damon to swivel his head around to see whomever I was speaking about. "Alex, isn't it?"

Switching my focus back to look at him, I noticed his jaw clench at my remark, his orbs dawdling over the three boys who had been engrossed in conversation. Feeling the smirk on my face widen, I relished in the sensation of battering his ego - even if it was just slightly. A small laugh escaped his throat as he locked his gaze with mine, clicking his tongue as he sneered, understanding what I was trying to do to him. It was a forced chuckle, most likely portrayed out of annoyance,  “Look, I just think you’re really pretty, alright?”

Chewing on my bottom lip, I felt my stomach ignite at his frustration towards my obnoxiousness. Butterflies were blooming in my stomach as a certain heat flushed over my cheeks, my body mindful that I couldn’t keep up with such a persona for a much longer time. As well as this, it would potentially drive him away, which at this rate I didn’t want him to do, so I thought of the best possible solution to bring his hopes up, reaching to the ground underneath the barstool to grasp my bag, taking out a deck of cards. “Let’s play snap.” I exclaimed, beginning to shuffle the card deck.

“And you just carry those around do you?”

“It’s fun to play.” I replied, splitting the deck and then sliding him his share.

“Can I just get you a drink?” He groaned, though a small smile had perched on his lips at the irregularity of the situation. A girl is asking him to play cards after she simply rejected him, at a bar.

“You already did, Damon, and it was shit.” I spat back, fixing my eyes on his once again. He looked slightly offended at the insolence I demonstrated towards his efforts, which, for some reason, sank my heart a little. “If you win this game, I'll give you a second chance.”

“Deal,” He beamed, the signature devilish grin of his painted on his lips once again. “Might as well get you that drink now.” he added, his arrogance seeping through his teeth.

As we began placing our cards in the middle of the table, one after another, the environment was tense as to when two cards of the same origin would land upon each other. It was funny, I had gone out tonight to blow off steam from the stresses that work had offered me the past week, and somehow I had landed myself playing a game of cards with undoubtedly the most famous musician in Britain at the moment. “I’m not falling for it, you know.” I said, avoiding his gaze.

"Then why are you doing playing cards with me, love?" he interrogated, the sneer on his lips evident by his lustrous tone. He was right; his obvious pretentiousness, and egocentrism only edged me towards loving his company just that much more, which had disgracefully increased my attraction to him, but of course I wasn’t going to admit that, hell, I was adamant that I wasn’t going to fall for it, even though that was exactly what I had been doing this entire time - sinking down a hole of allurement from his persona that panned something inside of me that I wasn’t able to pinpoint on. Pop star effect, I suppose.

Completely silenced by his comment, I felt a certain radiance tease it’s way to my cheeks once again, edging me into humiliation even more to the fact that he could tell the effect his words were having on me - the sly grin on his features was felt in the tension shared between us. In an endeavour to shy away my embarrassment, I dragged out my packet of Marlboro cigarettes, snatching one from its packaging and lighting it before placing another card down on the deck that had been piling up since we had started. Inhaling sharply, I allowed the cancerous smoke to escape my lungs, my body adorning the relaxed feeling that seeped through after. “Can I have one?”

“No.”

“Why not? Your pack’s full!”

Pausing my movements before taking another hit from the roll of tobacco, a smirk lingered on my lips as I let my head rest on my palm, keeping my body upright. "Why? Those songs of yours not selling much?" I mocked, blowing another whiff of smoke into his face, the stunned expression held on his face only exhilarating me more in what felt like... control, though from the way he had been acting, I knew that such power was not going to last for a long while. "Put a card down, for goodness sake."

Scoffing, he followed my demand, though the card he placed down was the exact same as the one I placed down before, ensuing his hand slamming suddenly on top of the card deck, my mouth agape as I realised that he had won. “Look who won!”

A beam covered my face as I shook my head, watching him grab the attention of the bartender, asking for another drink that once again, I hadn’t heard of before. Once the bartender was done preparing the beverage, Damon passed it over to me, another grin captured on his expression. Sighing, I discarded the remains of my cigarette before taking a sip of another, unknown drink, the feeling of déjà vu hitting me as I had enraptured myself in the same situation when we had first spoken. "For fucks sake Damon, this tastes worse than the last one."

"More for me then, isn't it?" he grinned, my mind now aware that he had simply ordered such an appalling drink to agitate me. Be that as it may, he was aggravating, and took delight into making one’s time horribly spent, there was something about him that kept me latched onto him. Perhaps it was his glowing features, which were so enticing that it blinded me into thinking that he was the only other person in the room, and the only other person that I could set any fragment of attention towards.

"Stop pissing me off, you twat." I mumbled, looking at my bag as I placed the card deck back inside, it not proving much use to the situation anymore.

"You could quite easily just walk away, if I’m pissing you off this much.” he said, his head tilted to the side as his eyes lingered on me, practically forcing me to connect our gazes once again. “Doors just there, love." he uttered, beckoning his hand towards the timber door that divided us between the streets.

"Why would I leave when I'm getting free drinks?" I asked, trying to maintain whatever control I had over the situation, which had been deemed to have slipped out of my grasp at this given moment. The tension between us had been alleviating faster than it had been before, as we began reaching the climax of the encounter.

"You're not liking them though, are you?" he replied, face beginning to draw dangerously close to mine, his eyes flicking from my eyes to my lips every couple of seconds, contemplating how to end the situation. It was fully in control with him now; I was merely wrapped around his measly little finger, and he knew it. Our noses grazed ever-so-slightly on one another's as I felt his breath fan onto my cheeks - all I had craved for at this point was to attach my lips onto his, my breathing quickening as the realisation of just how close our bodies were to one another. "Just admit it, you're loving this." he mumbled.

"Am not." I whispered, my eyes staring at his lips as shuffled closer and closer to mine. We were both aware that what I had said was a lie, but my stubbornness wasn't ready to let that slide yet. Just as I thought we were going to connect lips, he darted his head away rapidly, the movement so swift I hadn't come to realize until a couple seconds afterwards, my cheeks now reddened to the point that I was almost convinced I had a fever.

"You fell for it, lovely." he grinned, placing a white slip on my lap, decorated with numbers to which I assumed were in relation to his telephone number. "Let me know when you're free!" he exclaimed, before waltzing off to the booth where his friends had, leaving me completely stunned, and exactly where I knew would be - absolutely encapsulated by the man known as Damon Albarn.

[cblgblog]

Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀

No sorry needed!

I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.

Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?

Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.

So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.

That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.

Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!

Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.

When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.

Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.

Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.

Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.

Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.

As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.

Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.

Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.

Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.

“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”

Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.

It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.

Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.

No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.

Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.

Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)

[from-a-reckless-writer]

Can you do a little supercorp one-shot based on the song Classy Girl from The Lumineers please?

“Don’t even think about it,” Winn mutters to Kara before taking a swig of his beer. They were leaning against the bar counter. It was a crowded night, Kara had never been at this side of the city before,  the air thick with that usual smell of sweat and cigar smoke. 

“W-what? I wasn’t even doing anything, what are you talking about?” Kara protests although her face screams guilty, as if she and Winn had had this conversation a million times before and she had been caught a million times before. 

“You’ve been staring at her like you wanna devour her. Trust me she’s not the girl you want on your list of conquests.”

“Lists of conquest?! Wha-?! I. Do. Not. Have. A list of conquests, Winslow,” Kara scoffs out, irritated that, yes,  they are indeed having this conversation again. 

“Lucy, Siobhan, Imr-” 

“Shut up, Winn.”

“Thought so,” Winn retorts, but Kara is still pointedly staring not even trying at subtlety, 

“But I’m serious, Kara. Not her.”

“Why not? Who is she, anyway?”

“Lena.”

“Mm. Pretty name for a pretty face, who is she, Winn?” 

“She’s a Luthor, Kara.” 

At that, Kara’s eyes snap back at her and Winn feels a bit of relief at the slightest sign of interest in his warning. 

“She’s Lex’s precious sister, if Lex doesn’t skin you alive himself, Lois probably will.”

“Lois? As in Lois Lane? As in Kal’s Lois Lois? What’s she got to do with it?”

“What do you mean what’s she got to do with it? Kara, Lex almost got Clark killed. You do know that, right?” Winn says in disbelief at Kara’s obliviousness. 

All of a sudden flashes of frantic phone calls from Lois and Martha appear in her mind, Kal bruised and battered, the Danvers immediately taking her away, Eliza mumbling about El’s and Lu-

Luthor. 

Oh. Luthors. Lex, Lena. They’re The Luthors. 

“Oh,” Kara says dumbly. 

“Yes, ‘oh’, now you know. So, don’t even think about it Kara.”

Winn turns around to face the bartender, signaling for another pint while continuing to talk Kara out of a potential disaster.

“How about that waitress earlier? The one who called you hand-”

When he turns around his friend is nowhere to be found and his eyes search the bar in alarm. 

And there, in the far side of the bar—the one spot Kara has been eyeing all night—is his friend slowly sauntering her way through. Headed for one Lena Luthor no doubt. Winn fights the urge to clap a hand to his forehead in frustration. 

***

“Finally found the courage to talk to me?” 

Are the first words tossed at Kara as she comes face to face with Lena Luthor. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kara says, a charming smile in place. 

“If you don’t pretend as if you haven't been eyeing me all night, I won’t pretend as if I didn’t enjoy having your eyes on me all night.” 

Lena raises a perfect brow at Kara and it’s a miracle that her knees haven’t given out. 

She parts her lips to respond but no words come out and her mind blanks. No lady has ever rendered her speechless before, it was always the other way around. 

“Cat got your tongue, Miss?” Lena purrs, smug smirk growing

“Danvers. Kara Danvers.”

Kara manages to choke out, Lena makes a face at the name as if in recognition. 

“Any relation to Alexandra Danvers?”

Kara tries to hide her shock and fails spectacularly so, of course Lena would know about the Danvers. 

“Sister,” She answers to which Lena says, “I didn’t know Alex has a sister.”

Kara loosens up at that, if Lena knew her as Danvers that means she has no idea she’s Kal’s cousin, no idea Lena’s brother almost killed the only biological family she has left. She doesn’t want the burden of that hanging over them at their first meeting. 

“Adopted,” She clarifies and for a moment she wonders if she should be concerned that all her brain is capable of at the moment are one word answers. 

“Hmm. Well, tell your sister to be more discreet about her,” Lena pauses as if searching for the right word as Kara waits in confusion. 

“-late night activities, especially if she’s going to involve Samantha Arias.”

Kara feels panic when Lena’s words finally click into place, Alex hasn’t even told Eliza about that, she certainly hasn't told Kara. Kara only knew because she made the mistake of passing Alex’s room in the middle of the night, back in Midvale and moans reached her ears, too breathy and too feminine to be a boyfriend. 

“How did you know about that?” Kara asks a bit hostile, when it comes to Alex and she’d do anything even if it means not getting the girl for once, if it meant keeping Alex’s sexuality quiet till she’s ready to tell. 

“No need to be so feisty, darling, Sam is my best friend. And let’s just say Luthors don’t like it when the people they care about are put in complicated situations,” Lena explains and she doesn’t miss the implications of the name ‘Luthor’ next to the phrase, ‘don’t like’.

Kara feels like she should be more concerned about Lena knowing these things especially if they just met, especially with the history between Lex and Clark but she called her ‘darling’ and Kara couldn’t care less about any of that.

“Now, that we got that over with, would you care for a dance?” 

She extends a hand out as her confidence surges again, only for Lena to stare at it, promptly ignore it and throw Kara off her game all over again. 

“Start small, Kara. How about a drink?” she smoothly evades as she hands Kara a bottle of beer, a Kangaroo on the label. 

Kara’s hand wraps around the neck of the bottle firmly, to fight off the longing of Lena’s hands in hers. 

And so, Kara takes her advice and she starts small. Asking Lena all the right questions and successfully avoiding any talk related to their familial background and Lena had never been more grateful. She learns that Lena doesn’t have a favorite constellation, how she writes her name on the first page of all of her books, how she doesn’t do breakfast and Kara realizes she never wants to know a person more than she does with Lena. Maybe, Winn was right. Maybe she really doesn’t want Lena to be just another name in her list of conquests. 

***

Either Kara had never heard of the Luthors before or she simply did not care, Lena did not know what to make of that,  but what matters is that she has never felt this open with another human being before. 

There was a pull when it came to Kara. She felt it the first moment her eyes landed on the blonde only to find her staring back at her. She watched her all night talk to a man, half-afraid that they were something more. But when she caught Kara staring again for the nth time that night—clear intent behind her eyes—Lena’s doubts fell away. 

“Enough about me, how about you? How come this is the first time I’m hearing of another Danvers in town?”

Kara knew they would eventually reach that. When she was thirteen she was whisked off to the Danvers, her family was gone, pain was all she knew, Clark was too caught up in his life and Metropolis was the least safest place to be for Kara. But when things finally quieted down and the Danvers decided to move back to Metropolis, she didn’t come. Deciding to stay in Midvale for college instead. And then finally moving to National City to pursue Journalism. She spent almost 5 years in the glory of being CatCo’s top reporter, only to be called back to Metropolis because of Jeremiah’s frail health. 

“A journalist. I should be wary of you, you know,” Lena whispers their lips a breadth apart, her hands scratching the blonde baby hairs at Kara’s nape, Kara’s hands finding their place on Lena’s hips. Kara finally got her dance and she knows if she leaned in she’d taste the beer on Lena’s lips. 

“There’s nothing to be wary about. I’d never hurt you, Lena.” 

It was such a heavy statement to say considering they’ve only known each other for 4 hours. But there was something inside Kara that says this was right. 

Whatever is happening or is going to happen between them, it’s right. 

That instinct had never failed her as a reporter before, even got her a Pulitzer so, why should she stop listening to it now?

She stares into Lena’s emerald eyes and slowly closes the gap…

Only for her lips to land on Lena’s cheek. 

She turned her face in the last minute! Kara feels the vibrations of laughter roll off Lena. 

Lena slowly tilts her head towards Kara again and Kara doesn’t bother hiding the confusion on her face. 

“What? I’m sorry did I read things wrong? I totally should’ve asked for con-”

Lena removes one hand from the back of her head to press a finger to Kara’s lips. 

“Classy girls don’t kiss in bars, you fool.”

***

“Do you remember the night we met?”

“Mm. Yes, you abandoned Winn for me, he’s still holding a grudge against you for that, did you know? He told me himself.”

Kara laughs and Lena feels more than hears as she presses herself closer to Kara; naked skin to naked skin, sheets sliding and hair messy. 

“Remember what you did that night?”

“No, what?”

“You denied me a kiss because according to you, ‘Classy girls don’t kiss in bars, you fool’.” 

It was Lena’s turn to laugh this time.

“Did I really say that? God, what a pretentious line, I should’ve let you kiss me instead.”

“You know what was running through my head even though you did that?”

“Mmno, what?”

“I thought, the hardest part is over. Like even if I don’t get a kiss tonight, it would be fine. Because I had already met you, I’ve found you and the hardest part is over.”

“That was as pretentious as my line, darling.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”

“Kiss me, Kara.”

[footballxwrites]

Let you down

Pt 1 / Pt 2 / Pt 3 / Pt 4

A faint knock landed on your front door as you quickly jogged to the kitchen to pick up your keys before stumbling over to the passageway where you had one last look in the mirror, fixing those annoying wispy out of place hairs and taking a deep breath while steadying your shaky hand form the nerves. “Oh wow, you look just perfect” he was taken aback by your efforts tonight, “you seem pleasantly surprised” you giggled back as he, being the gentlemen he always is, walked over to open the door of his Mercedes, “I’m just blown away by your beauty” he cheekily winked back before getting in the car himself.

“So where are we off to then” you casually asked, looking out the windows into the summer London night where the sun was just about setting, “ah you’ll see, you’re going to love it” he smiled back as you kip gently nodded, “are you sure, I’m a classy girl you know” you joked back as he laughed, “positive”

Half an hour later and you were at a place you hadn’t seen in a while, a small restaurant that lay by the River Thames, overlooking Tower Bridge, “I never thought I’d see this place again any time soon” you smiled, taking his hand as yous entered the building, “holds many memories here” he smirked before giving his name and being presented to your table. “Where it all began” you sighed, taking a seat as your whole relationship flashed through your mind, the bad times overruled by the good ones, the happy ones, the ones that when whenever you think about them a smile can’t help but automatically form upon your lips.

You soon snapped out of your moment as a waiter came over to take your drinks order, “a pint of strongbow for me please” Ben jumped in as he politely nodded, “and for the lady” the waiter turned to you.

“I’ll have a large white wi-“ you began, dying for a drink of anything as this point, “I’m sure the lady would love a margarita” Ben kindly interrupted, to which you just nodded in agreement, showing an awkward smile to the confused waiter and a glare to your...boyfriend?

“And why would I love a margarita Mr Chilwell?” you narrowed your focus to him as he let out a cocky smirk, “just because, you always did love a cocktail...and there’s a reason to why I ordered it, see if you can work it out”

“I’m too thirsty and hungry to think, let me get my adored margarita down me first and then my brain will start to process things” you giggled as he winked, a little disheartened. “I’ve missed this” you sighed, raising your glass to which he clinked, “what” he smiled back, gazing deeply into your eyes as you giggled, “us together, relaxing and having a drink”

“Yeah not something we do often eh” he said as you hummed in agreement, “and that’s what went wrong for us wasn’t it…” you whispered in a slightly huff, a soft smile on your lips. “I’m sorry-“ he replied, breaking the silence as you shook your head. “I know Ben, I know you are…but i mean it’s all great saying it….but I need you to show me, I need to see that you’re sorry” you stated in confidence as he stiffly nodded. “

I’m not trying to be a bitch Ben or self-centred, nothing like that. And I know not everything’s about me, but I just want to feel like we have a balanced relationship”

“I get that and I’ll hold my hands up and put the blame completely on myself because you’re right, it’s all down to me for breaking our perfect relationship” he sadly spoke.

“By all means go out with the lads, enjoy yourself you know? Fair enough we need time apart from each other because I don’t think we could stand being in one another’s company 24/7. Do you see where I’m coming from?” you replied, spilling your thoughts to him.

“Yeah yeah of course. I acted selfish and I feel like when you ended things I just sort of clicked into realisation of what I was actually losing. I was honestly heartbroken imagining not having you in my life and I couldn’t bare not waking up next to you on a morning or coming home from work and cuddling up to you in the sofa. I just…I hope we can give it another go, things would be different I promise” he said, and you could tell he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

“That’s all I needed to hear Chilwell” you sighed with relief, not thinking twice as your lips gently pressed against his, your mouths moving in sync as an arm comfortably snaked around your waist to pull you closer to him, his beard tickling your chin as you deepened the kiss while his strong cologne stuck to his skin tight white shirt. “And that’s all I needed to taste” he laughed in between your moves colliding to which you couldn’t help but smile into the little kisses he trailed across your jaw. “We should pay the bill and get out of here” you eagerly suggested, “but we haven’t eaten yet” he laughed back, “I’d rather get a takeaway and have a night in instead” you shrugged as he smirked.

He soon payed for your drinks and strolled over to you before yous headed out into the mild London night hand in hand, “follow me” he casually whispered to you as you began following him down the path before taking a seat on a bench beside the lit up Tower Bridge. “For some reason this all seems too familiar” you giggled, not really sure what you were talking about, “would this jog your memory?” he placed a hand on your cheek to which you snuggled into as his lips once again crossed yours, gently and loving.

“I’m getting a sense of-“ you spoke confused, trying to think of the phrase, “deja vu” your other half kindly added as you narrowed your eyes to him, wondering what that little smirk on his face was for…until it all clicked in your head.

“Benjamin James Chilwell you crafty sod…the restaurant, the drinks…oh my god the margarita was my first ever cocktail, I was literally obsessed with them! You’ve went and recreated our first ever date you bloody romantic. Then, this was the place where you told me 3 years ago you were in love with me. I remember us clear as day sat here on our third date in the pelting rain, drenched head to toe and hearing those words fall from your mouth and not believing my luck when you actually asked me to be your girlfriend” you giggled, that butterfly effect rising in your stomach as your head lay to rest on his shoulder.

“Does this prove how sorry I am? I’m so fucking in love with you Y/N” he smiled as you shuffled around, climbing on him, your legs sat either side of him as your arms wrapped lightly around his neck, “and I’m so fucking in love with you”

“I’ll never let you down again I-“

“Promise, I know you do” ❤️

——————————————

AHHHHH please let me know what yous thought of this mini series…I have to say I bloody enjoyed writing it ♡

[kuroopaisen]

cause & effect || chapter 3

➵ your work friend, kuroo, has a tiny favour to ask. to say you’re surprised is an understatement. 

warnings: f!reader, alcohol

wc: 1.4k

m.list | ch. 2 ↞ ch. 3 ↠ ch. 4

“Okay, so,” you sigh, slamming your pint down on the bar. Kuroo barely flinches. “What do I actually have to do?”

It’s been a few days since Kuroo asked you for that favour. A few days over which you could’ve reconsidered. Thought about how ludicrous it was. But, you’re still willing to do it, for whatever godforsaken reason.

But as you sit in the local bar, a frequent Saturday night haunt for the two of you, your doubts are bubbling back up. They have been over the last few days. Would you be able to pull this off? Would you make a mess of everything? Would his family figure it out immediately? What would the consequences of that even be?

“Just pretend that you like me,” he shrugs, grinning at you. “That shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

You’re not sure if that’s an insult, a flirt, or both. You shoot him a look. “I’m going to need to polish my acting skills.”

Kuroo places a hand on his chest, eyebrows raised in mock offense.

You smile, shaking your head. “Okay, so I’ve got to pretend like I’m into you. For how long?”

“Just the holiday period,” he says, taking a sip of his beer. “Then you’re free to go.”

“Am I… spending Christmas with your family?” You ask. It’s not the biggest deal, but it’s something you’d need to warn your own family about.

Kuroo shakes his head. “Not the day. Just a couple of dinners, a couple of get-togethers, so that they get off my back for a while.”

You bite your lip. It’s not a massive ask, but it still feels… wrong. Like you’re lying to people. Well, you are, but it’s supposedly for a good cause. But your slightly tipsy brain is having a hard time justifying it to yourself. Why’d you always have to get so damn preachy when you’d had a bit to drink?

“You okay?” He asks, tilting his head at you. There’s genuine concern in his eyes. You don’t know why that surprises you.

“It’s just…” You take a deep breath, clenching your fists in your lap. “Isn’t it a bit unethical?” You’d said that a few days ago.

Kuroo sighs. “Yeah, it is.”          

You stare at him with wide eyes. You’d expected him to defend himself, but no. He’s being straightforward.

He holds his hands out in front of him, his brow slightly burrowed. “Think of it as the lesser of two evils.”

“What do you mean?”

“Either we do this unethical little fake-dating thing and make my family happy because of something that’s not real, or I let them down once again, and make their holiday season more stressful.”

“And… pretending you have a girlfriend is the lesser of two evils?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “It might not be real, but it’ll make them happy for a few weeks.”

“You really are a con-man,” you scoff, shaking your head.

“Now that’s just uncalled for,” he chuckled. “But, I get it. And if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.”

He’s said that a lot. But you’ve never taken the out.

“I’m happy to do it,” you say slowly, carefully. Were you stupid? Why weren’t you running at every opportunity?

Relief floods his face and he smiles. It’s a relaxed kind of smile, one that’s flattered by the dim lights of the bar. You don’t let yourself look at it too long, lest your tipsy mind goes somewhere it shouldn’t.

“Okay, well next order of business,” he hums, turning to face you more directly. “We need to establish some boundaries.”

You blink at him. “Boundaries?” It felt a bit like you were finding out the hidden clauses of a contract after you’d signed it.

“I don’t want to do anything that’ll make you uncomfortable,” he begins, each word slow and methodical. He doesn’t usually speak like this. That’s worrying.

“Right,” you nod.

“But we’ve got to make this look real, right?” He says, the slightest of flush in his cheeks. You can’t tell if it’s because of what he’s just said or if the beer is finally kicking in.

Shit. You hadn’t thought of that.

“So…” He clears his throat, averting his gaze. You do the same. “What aren’t you comfortable with?”

You pause on that question, biting your lip. “Uh… I mean… I guess don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do in front of your family anyway.”

“Right…” He nods slowly. “Is there… anything else?”

“I… I guess you can hold my hand?” You offer, shrugging. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve dated anyone. What did casual affection even look like.

Kuroo looks at you with the same expression he has when on the phone to a particularly difficult customer.

“What’s wrong?” You have half a mind to put your hand on his shoulder, but you stop yourself.

“Can I kiss your cheek?” He says it so quickly it’s basically one word.

“If you need to?” You can’t believe this is a real conversation you’re having.

“Right,” he nods, turning his attention back to his pint. At least he’s just as embarrassed as you were.

You don’t know what to say now. You’re just sitting next to him at the bar, confused about what the fuck is going on. You’d agreed to this time and time again, but you’re still not totally sure if this is the right thing to do. But it was too late to change your mind now.

“By the way,” he says, clearing his throat. “If you ever want or need to back out, you absolutely have the right to.”

You nod. It’s like he read your mind. It makes you feel at least a little better, all things considered.

“Thank you,” you murmur, unsure of what else to say.

He nods in response, taking another sip of his beer. God, this was awkward.

You watch him for a moment, a new concern brewing in the back of your mind. “Hey, Kuroo?”

“Hm?”

“If we’re going to convince your family this is real, we’ll actually need to get to know each other, right?” It feels stupid to say it, but that feels like an essential flaw in his plan. “Like, as a couple would know each other. Not… not work colleagues.”

He thinks it over for a moment, a frown deepening on his face. “You know what? My family is pretty perceptive.”

“I figured,” you smile. You’re not sure if any other kind of person could’ve raised the man sitting next to you.

“Right,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. It’s a little more ruffled than usual – his entire demeanour is, actually. He’s always got a laidback vibe, but Kuroo on a Saturday night had a certain laissez-faire that you still aren’t used to. But you’ll have to.

“What’s the plan?” You ask, propping your chin on your hand.

“We could fill out questionnaires and give them to each other,” he shrugs.

You snort. “What, and study them?”

“I guess?”

“Is your family going to put me through a pop quiz?”

“They might just,” he chuckles.

You roll your eyes. Bless that, but you’re not going to sit there and memorise facts about this man like you would for a geography exam. “Or, maybe we should just go on actual ‘fake dates’.”

He blinks at you for a moment, his cheeks growing slightly darker. “Actual fake dates?”

Admittedly, you’re not quite sure what separates a ‘fake’ date from a real one. How you and Kuroo going out together would constitute one and not the other.

“What I mean is,” you clear your throat, trying to backtrack, “we should just hang out a bit more before I meet your family.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” he nods. “If you’re comfortable with that.”

“Well, I’m the one who suggested it,” you smile. His concern for your comfort and wellbeing is endearing, if nothing else.

“Alright,” he nods. “Well… I’ve got your number.”

“That you do.”

“And… I’ll text you,” he says, slightly more confident than he was a couple of minutes ago. “And we’ll organise something.”

“Just make sure it’s fun,” you grin.

He scoffs, shaking his head. “I’m offended you think I’d propose anything less.”

“Sorry,” you roll your eyes, but the tension in your chest is easing. “I’m expecting big things.”

“Don’t forget I’m in a wage job,” he grins, tapping his glass. “I can only afford one of these tonight.”

“Is this you letting me know that you won’t pay for my dinner?” You run a hand through your hair, smiling.

“I’ll keep it a surprise,” he smiles, stretching his arms over his head. “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

That feels more like a warning than it should. “I’ll do my best.”

[ahockeywrites]

One Chance is All Some Get - 1

Part Two - Masterlist

Word Count: 10.3k Warnings: swearing, talk of blood, talk of needles, discussion of mental health

The monthly blood drive that happened in the winter at NYU Langone on Long Island was one of the few times the Islanders voluntarily went to the hospital. This time, Mathew had a fling going on with one of the nurses who would be helping so dragged Anthony along for moral support. It wasn’t that Anthony didn’t want to go, he just hated needles. Anything he could do to stay away from needles, he did. He hated blood tests, vaccinations and was certain that donating blood would only bring him closer to his fear. Mathew knew of his fear but hoped that he could get over it temporarily to be his wingman.

Sarah adjusted her short white coat, being on the accelerated MD program at NYU Long Island meant that she had less time to learn the same skills most student doctors learnt in 4 years. However, it did mean that she was able to take part in the blood drive, even if it was just taking the observations of the patients that came in. It was something she took pride in as she was doing one of the most basic tasks, she was always willing to do the tasks that no one else wanted to do because she knew it was the only way she could work her way up the ranks to becoming a qualified doctor.

Her short brown hair was tied back into a small bun and she had her stethoscope around her neck, allowing her to check the most basic functions of the human body. She read her list of things to do one more time before leaving the staff room:

Introduce yourself to them

Make sure they have signed the consent forms

Take their height and weight and check that their blood volume is enough to donate a pint of blood

Take a small amount of blood from their finger and ensure that there is enough iron in their blood to be able to donate

Ask them about their travel history and if they have undertaken any risky behaviour that may mean they are unable to donate

Invite them to take a seat in the chair and give them a drink of water

Answer any questions they may have

Only seven simple tasks to remember, she reminded herself. Sarah walked out of the staff room and made her way to the attending doctor who was in charge of the drive. They had each been given a tablet with the names of the patients they would be seeing and when they checked in to their appointment. A few names jumped out, namely Mathew Barzal and Anthony Beauvillier. 

Now, Sarah wasn’t a massive New York hockey fan, especially coming from New Jersey, but anyone who spent more than one day on Long Island had heard of them. They were the up and coming players for the New York Islanders and had a large social media following. Their looks were just an addition to their spectacular hockey skills.

Anthony kept tapping his foot. It was his way of showing nerves, his plan for the day before Mat had dragged him here was to enjoy his day off, maybe try cooking something fancy and watch Netflix all day. But no, he was sitting in a stuffy hospital waiting room, waiting for some doctor or nurse to hook him up to some machine that was going to steal his blood, then he was going to be told that he couldn’t do any heavy lifting on that arm for the rest of the day. It was the same procedure as every blood test that he had for the Islanders and he was going to hate every moment of it. The soft voice of the receptionist called him and Mat over to collect the papers they needed then they had to wait for one of the student doctors to call them through. They both nodded and went to fill in the paperwork. She had also given them some water that they were told to drink slowly, which apparently was going to help when donating blood. Anything Anthony could do to make the donation go quicker, he would do.

It was an unfamiliar room to Sarah, but familiar equipment and she thanked the heavens that she had been trained on similar machines. She swiped her identification badge on the reader attached to the keyboard and signed in to the computer. Quickly, she read through the patient information for Andrew Parkinson, he was her first appointment of the day and noted that he previously had iron deficiency anaemia but had been treated for this using iron tablets and knew that this could be a potential boundary for him donating blood today. She collected her stethoscope from the desk and left the small room to enter the waiting room. 

“Mr Parkinson for the blood donation?” Sarah asked, trying to be confident. Sarah looked over the room and noticed a man, with blond hair walking over to her and when he was close enough she offered him her hand to shake which he accepted. “Hi there, I’m student doctor Sarah Milkins and I’m going to be taking you through the first stages of your donation today if that’s okay with you sir.”

“Of course it is,” Andrew said, “lead the way.”

As soon as Anthony heard the soft voice, he looked up wanting to see who it could belong to. He saw a young woman, she couldn’t be older than 25, pushing up her black-rimmed glasses which matched the stethoscope on her shoulders. Even the pens that were in the pocket of her white coat matched. But what made her stand out was her scrubs, he had never seen someone wear a pair of dark blue, unfitted scrubs so well. He smiled at her, but she had already turned her back to him and was leading another man to her consultation room.

“Mat, what was the name of the nurse you were seeing?” Anthony asked his friend, hoping that it wasn’t her because he would do anything but break the bro code.

“Urm,” Mat had to rack his brain to try and remember her name, “I can’t remember but she was definitely a blonde, and she was tall.” Tito let out a sigh that he didn’t even realise he was holding. “Why?” Mat asked, “got your eye on one here?”

“If I do, just be glad it's not your girl,” Anthony replied, with a roll of his eyes.

Sarah was glad to hear that Mr Parkinson had been keeping up to date with his family doctor with regards to his anaemia and was even happier when she completed the finger prick test to show that his blood contained enough iron for him to donate. It was even better when he mentioned that he hadn’t travelled out of the state in the past 6 months. “Mr Parkinson, I am happy to report that your blood volume and iron levels are high enough to donate today,” she said with a smile. “Do you have any questions for me?” she asked, he replied with a shake of his head so Sarah continued, “so, if you could just finish your water whilst you’re waiting in the chair, I’ll send one of the nurses over to you.” She pointed towards chair number 6 and walked him there. “Thank you again for donating.”

Three minutes. Three minutes to fill in all of the information that the system needed. Sarah was thankful that she had been making notes on the computer as she spoke to Mr Parkinson as it made filling in the additional things a lot easier. She took a quick look at her next patient and saw that they would be accompanied by a social media team. This confused her until she saw the names, it was the New York Islanders who she noticed on the list before. A little sigh escaped her lips before she covered her tablet with the case and walked out of her consultation room.

Anthony noticed as soon as she walked back out from the consultation rooms. He noticed how she looked a little awkward standing there, but it allowed him to take in her beauty even if he knew this was likely to be the only time he ever saw her. New York was a big city, 8 million people and she was just one of them.

“Mr Barzal, Mr Beauvillier and camera crew?” Sarah asked meekly, not wanting to accidentally say the wrong thing.

Placing his hands on his thighs to help him stand, Mat said, “I guess that’s us.” Anthony nodded not believing that he was going to be in the same room as her, let alone caught on video with her.

“I’m student doctor Sarah Milkins and I’m gonna be conducting your observations today,” Sarah began as she started leading the gaggle of people down the corridor. She opened the door to her little room and offered Mat and Anthony the seats on the opposite side of her chair. “I’m not too sure what the camera crew want to do, but I’m just gonna ask you guys a few questions, take your height and weight then do a little blood draw which is just a pinprick on your finger. If you guys don’t have any immediate questions, shall we get started?”

“We’re just gonna be filming the guys, so just try and keep this as normal as possible,” one of the guys with a camera said.

“I’ll try my best. So, I’ve got both of your files up so as long as you don’t mind answering the questions in front of each other, I’ll ask you both at the same time,” Sarah questioned the boys.

“I haven’t got an issue with it,” Anthony said, looking up into Sarah’s green eyes. Her eyes then flicked to Mat who agreed with his friend.

“First question, any new tattoos and piercings in the last three months?” Both boys shook their head and Sarah quickly typed the information into the computer but something kept drawing her back to Anthony’s eyes. “Second of all, any trips out of the United States, not including Canada, in the last three months?” Another nod from both of them confirmed that she was able to move onto the height and weight measurements. 

“Now, it’s not that I trust the official NHL data, but if you don’t mind I’d like to take your height and weight, this is to make sure that your blood volume is high enough to donate,” she had to keep this professional, it wasn’t like she had them sat in their boxers in front of her, they were there to do something she did every other month. The boys nodded and the camera crew started giggling when they noticed the height difference between Sarah, Anthony and especially Mat. 

Sarah knew she was short, standing at 5 foot exactly, but she didn’t take into account how much shorter she was than the two hockey players as she walked through the hospital corridors. “If you don’t mind, Miss Milkins, could we film this?” one of the camera crew suggested, and Sarah knew that this would be quite funny.

“Yes, just don’t make fun of how short I am,” she said with a laugh. She was used to the jokes about her height and even made some herself when she could think of them. Everyone in the room agreed and made sure they were camera ready. As Sarah motioned for one of the boys to make their way to the height and weight measure, Anthony gave Mat a look to silently tell him to go first. He was incredibly flustered, he didn’t even know why. This was a professional setting and all he had to do was ignore the pretty girl who was looking after him at this moment. Oh, and the needles that he would have to encounter slightly later on.

Sarah took the notepad out of her pocket and found a pen on the desk too. “So, Mat,” Sarah whispered, but she then remembered that she was being filmed so would have to speak up a bit more. “Mat,” this time she was able to get the attention of everyone in the room. “Height is 6’0, and weight 189lbs. Perfect blood volume for donating today! Anthony, would you like to replace Mat on the machine?” Sarah asked politely, whilst writing down these numbers.

Anthony nodded and went to stand on the machine. He noticed Sarah’s eyes as he stood in front of here, slightly awkwardly. They glistened emerald green under the annoyingly bright medical lights and he just wanted to stare into them, but he knew that it would be strange, especially as they had barely known each other for 10 minutes and would probably never see each other again.

“Anthony, just shuffle to your left to make sure we can get the most accurate reading if you can,” Sarah spoke softly, she didn’t want to make this too awkward for him as she could sense that he had some nerves around donating blood. She sent a smile his way, just to ease him.

“Urm, yeah, sure,” Anthony grunted as he moved less than an inch but this allowed Sarah to get the correct readings.

“That’s, 5’11 and 182lbs,” Sarah said and quickly wrote that down. “So, boys, both of you have got enough blood to donate about a pint today! Have you got any questions for me?”

Mat and Anthony shook their heads and looked towards the camera crew who did the same action. Sarah thanked everyone in the room for their time and encouraged the boys to finish drinking a pint of water. She also pointed them towards some of the nurses who would be taking their blood today.

“Miss Milkins, would we be able to get a photo of you and the boys for social media? If you don’t want to, that’s fine but it’ll be nice to get one,” one of the camera crew suggested. Sarah was slightly shocked but agreed nonetheless. She slotted herself between Mat and Anthony and let the crew do their thing with some portable lights and a professional camera. This was not what she expected to be doing when she woke up that morning.

“And we’re done,” the man said, “just jot down your Instagram and Twitter handles for us so we can tag you and send you the photos.” He handed her a small pad of paper and she scribbled it down and handed it back.

“Right, if you head over to Jane, my colleague over there. She’s the one waving,” Sarah laughed. “She’ll get you set up for your donation! Thanks for coming today and donating and I hope to see you soon!” Anthony and Mat waved to Sarah as she went back to the small examination room to put the information into the computer. 

Sarah let out a sigh, she didn’t even realise she was holding one in. Mathew Barzal and Anthony Beauvillier were not your average blood donors and the fact that she had been the person to take their observations was incredible. She had never tended to anyone of their star nature and was thankful for the existence of patient confidentiality. 

Even if her photo was going to be posted online, she wished that it wasn’t the Islanders that had come in to donate. It would have been a better story to tell to her parents if Jack Hughes and Nico Hischer came in because then she would have been star-struck and probably would have collected autographs for her sister, who swore that Hischer’s hair was the best thing known to man.

Rebecca, the receptionist, one of Sarah’s friends from high school and her housemate, was star struck when Sarah said that she did their observations. “I am going to need a drink after this,” Sarah exclaimed, “I hope my face doesn’t get plastered all over the internet.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Rebecca asked, “You know I think you should get out more.”

“Getting out more is not the same as a hockey team that I don’t even like posting photos about me,” Sarah sighed. “If it was the Devils, I might not be as concerned, but I guess that’s what we get for living in New York.”

“We're still on for the Mets game and drinks after on Saturday?” Rebecca asked, hoping she didn’t shoot down the idea. Sarah knew she needed to take a night off from studying and she did enjoy baseball, it was the drinks after she knew she wasn’t a massive fan of the idea of.

“We won’t stay out too late?” Sarah needed her sleep and was not prepared to give up too much of that for the nightlife of New York.

“Of course, we can’t have little miss perfect staying out past her bedtime now, can we,” Rebecca joked. Sarah responded with a swift roll of her eyes and told her to get lost. She sent Rebecca a quick wave as she headed back to the waiting room to collect the next donor.

Mat had seen that look in Anthony’s eyes before but didn’t want to prod too far because he was about to be hooked up to donate blood. “Marie, you have to come and see these veins,” the nurse exclaimed. Her accent was definitely southern, Texas perhaps, Anthony thought. He wondered why the nurses were getting so excited over their veins, to him these were just the vessels that allowed his blood to get back to the heart and reoxygenate so he could perform at his best on the ice. Yes, they were pretty prominent, but he had seen people on his own hockey team with more visible veins than his.

“My lord,” the second nurse exclaimed, “I’d certainly have wanted test subjects like these two when I was learning.” Anthony shot Mat a worrying look, slightly concerned about what the nurses could be plotting against them. They wouldn't be held hostage for all the student nurses to learn their skills on, would they? He was thinking too much, surely? “Aw sweetie, no need to worry,” the second nurse told him. “Just a quick pinprick.” Yeah, like he hadn’t heard that before.

Anthony looked over to see Mat in conversation with the southern nurse as his blood started to collect on the machine. He needed to relax, that’s what they always told him when he was preparing for a blood test. Sighing, he closed his eyes and balled his hand into a fist. Thinking of rural Quebec and how he couldn’t wait to get back over the summer when the season was finished. The greenery, the sun beating down on his bare chest, a beautiful girl on his arm, anything to take his mind off of the needle that was being placed into his arm. 

He was nervous, to say the least, but was glad that the camera crew were currently occupied filming Mat talking to one of the nurses. The nurse was able to get the donation needle the first time and Anthony was able to start his muscle tension exercises. Deep breaths, he told himself, it will be no longer than ten minutes, last time you were done in 6. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the laugh of a girl, was it the nurse that did their observations? He hoped not as he really did not want a cute girl to see him like this. Without opening his eyes too far, he peeked across to see her walking someone to the consultation room. 

As he let out a deep breath, Anthony heard the beeping of the machine. Success! He had finished his blood donation and this time without tears. It was the little wins, he told himself. The southern nurse made her way across to detach Anthony from the death trap and he waltzed over to join Mat who was drinking a mug of coffee to rehydrate himself. He picked up a Gatorade from the selection along with a small bag of chips and sat in the comfy chair. The camera crew wanted him to do a small piece to camera about how easy it was to donate, he sniggered at that one, and where people in Long Island could come and donate. 

It was easier than he thought and was happy to only have to record it twice, it took Mat at least 5 attempts to even get the first bit right. Anthony was happy, he had donated blood to a good cause and now all he wanted to do was leave and get some Chinese food in his stomach. Mat and Anthony made their way back through the donation area, signing a few cards that the team had brought for them. He felt on top of the world, and had no idea why. As he walked outside the hospital, the cold New York air hit him straight in the face.

“So, which one was she, eh?” Mat asked, to which Anthony replied with a roll of his eyes. Like he was openly going to tell his best friend but more importantly the big mouth of the team which of the healthcare staff he had a tiny crush on.

“None of your business and I’m probably never going to see her again so it doesn’t matter,” he replied, trying to convince himself more than his teammate.

Sarah sighed, one more patient to triage then she could have her Wednesday evening to herself, a bottle of wine and whatever takeout she ordered. She looked at Rebecca and the two of them shared a look that only they could decipher. It meant they would be having sushi for dinner and Rebecca started to place the rolls that she knew the two of them would want in her UberEats basket from their favourite place. All Sarah had to do was get her head down and finish her day of work quickly. Luckily, the next patient was a regular donator and knew the whole procedure. She was able to get them processed quickly and headed to the staff room to collect the small number of belongings she had brought with her. 

Her locker was the furthest away from the entrance, but she didn’t mind. She looked forward to graduating to a bigger and more accessible locker in the future, but hopefully in the emergency department. Backpack, wallet, phone, coat, scarf, beanie. One more once over of the locker to ensure that it was fully empty, which it was, and Sarah was ready to go home. She was incredibly thankful that she did not have any classes or have to be up early for her psychiatry rotation so she could have the entire bottle of wine she desired that evening.

As she passed the reception desk, Sarah saw that Rebecca was waiting for her with a hot chocolate for her to keep her hands warm on the drive back to their apartment in Bay Ridge. The two shared a car as it kept the cost of maintaining it low, they both worked at the same hospital so driving was shared between the two of them. Sarah would take the morning drive and Rebecca would drive them home in the evening. It was a dynamic that worked, and they couldn’t thank the heavens more for each other.

The drive to their apartment wasn’t too long, and after watching the world go by for 45 minutes or so, Rebecca pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex. They both exited the car at the same time and Sarah was faster to reach the elevator so called it down for them. Music softly played in the car and Rebecca informed Sarah that she had ordered dinner and it should be at their door in about 20 minutes which gave both of them time to change into something comfier and get started on a bottle of wine. 

Time passed quickly once the food arrived and the girls enjoyed being in each other’s company for the first time in what seemed like ages. Sarah was always busy with assignments or in the hospital and Rebecca was working full time as a receptionist whilst taking night classes to try and get into law school. They were focussed women which is why they were the friends that everyone would marry each other if they hadn’t found other people by the age of 40. Platonic soulmates, that’s what everyone called them and it was the best way to define them.

Thursday was filled with assignments for the two roommates. Rebecca had a 2000 word introduction to property law and a 3000-word essay on an interesting criminal case that she had found. It wasn’t like Sarah had the day easy, she was tasked with reading and taking notes from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Section II, on depressive disorders. The book wasn’t light reading in the slightest, but this interested Sarah. She worked through the chapter and was able to do some outside reading into how they are treated, through a combined approach of medication and what is sometimes referred to as ‘talk therapy’. 

The two had consumed more coffee in one day than was considered healthy, but they did this to ensure that they had a free weekend and could ensure that they were able to enjoy their time off. It was uncommon for them to have an entirely free weekend but it was worth it so they could see Rebecca’s family. They were coming across from Trenton to spend the Saturday with the girls and both of them couldn’t wait to spend time with them. Both of their families were close, but when Rebecca’s family had moved from Newark to Trenton when they were in college, it became more difficult for them to meet up regularly. This was why it was special for the two girls.

By 7 in the evening, they had both decided they had done enough work for the day and made their way to the kitchen to try and decide what they should make for dinner. After a quick rummage through the cupboards, they settled on a simple carbonara. It wasn’t overly simple but didn’t stretch either of their culinary abilities. “Want to watch anything in particular on tv tonight?” Rebecca shouted from the living room. Sarah popped her head out from behind the door frame to say that she didn’t care as long as it wasn’t reality tv to which they both laughed. “How about your hockey boys?” Rebecca questioned.

Sarah raised one of her eyebrows in confusion, unsure of what Rebecca was talking about until she checked the TV set to see the Islanders warming up before their game that evening. “Eugh,” she sighed. At this point, Rebecca was the only person who knew that she had helped them with their blood donation, but Sarah kept reminding her that it was only observations and not actually taking the blood for their donation. The difference was subtle to the majority of people, but Sarah always tried her best to explain different medical terms to people, sometimes it was easier than others. 

They agreed to watch the game together so Sarah quickly finished plating up their food and Rebecca walked through to collect some glasses of water. Due to the fact their apartment was pretty small, they didn’t have a proper dining table to sit at and eat food, usually, it was a quick affair at the kitchen island but the girls chose to change the scenery up for once by eating on the couch. The game was only a few minutes into the first period and it didn’t look like they had missed much which they were thankful for. 

It was a well-fought game for the Islanders, even Sarah had to admit a 2-1 OT win over the Bruins was impressive even if they weren’t Jersey. She did sneak a look at Anthony during the intermission interviews and it hit her that she had met, not just one, but two hockey players. Sarah knew that she didn’t have a chance with a professional hockey player because that would involve actually seeing them again and in a city as large as New York, the stars would have to align for them to even notice each other in passing.

The Islanders social media team had waited until after their Thursday night win to post about Mathew and Anthony visiting the hospital to donate blood. They even found out that Anthony’s blood had made its way to the neonatal unit at the hospital and it had helped to save the life of a baby girl. As soon as he had discovered this, Anthony made a mental note to try and get in contact with the family and invite the girl, when she was well, to a game on his behalf. He felt proud, he was able to overcome his fear and help save the life of someone. Before, he thought it was silly to voluntarily go and get poked with a needle, but when he heard that it had saved someone’s life, it felt different. He knew he would donate blood again. 

The photo taken at the blood drive was present on the screens around the arena and was also posted online. The team made sure not to tag Sarah in the Instagram and Twitter posts to try and avoid the chance of harassment but included her handles on the attached articles because they knew that fewer people would read the article. It was smart, but Anthony didn’t read the article, he just went on Instagram and saw that she hadn’t been tagged so he assumed that she would be the one that got away.

Anthony checked his calendar, realising that he had an appearance to make at the New York Mets game and questioned why his past self had agreed to it. He wasn’t the biggest fan of baseball but as he thought over it, he was relatively happy to have said yes. A night off, with some of his teammates, a few beers and nachos. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything, everything seemed to be going wrong for Sarah. First of all, her alarm didn’t go off on time so she had to rush to get ready for lunch with Rebecca’s parents. Second of all, the red shirt that she had planned on pairing with black skinny jeans had just disappeared so she had to settle on one that was black and covered in small flowers. It showed off a bit more of her shoulder than she was hoping but it was nothing that her puffer jacket wouldn’t keep warm. Third of all, their apartment was out of coffee, so instead of making a vanilla latte and putting it into her travel mug, Sarah had to fork out five dollars for one made at Starbucks. Finally, after all of this, she had to run to catch the train into the city but missed the one she had planned on taking, closed its doors the moment her foot touched the platform. 

She audibly sighed when she sat down at the table alongside Rebecca’s parents. James and Rachel were lovely people and Sarah couldn’t have picked a better set of parent’s to be friends with. They understood the demands of a college degree such as an M.D. as they had both attended college followed by graduate school. Nonetheless, they were glad to see that their daughter and her best friend were enjoying themselves living in the Big Apple. It wasn’t too much of a culture shock for the girls, as they had grown up on the other side of the Hudson river and often went across to New York for the shopping experience but living in a city that big was. The difference from living in college dorms to an apartment was something the girls knew they wanted to share.

Lunch passed quickly, and the four of them made their way across to Citi Field in preparation for the afternoon game. As they were waiting for some food to snack on during the game, an announcement caught Sarah off guard. “And today we welcome as special guests, your very own, New York Islanders!”

She had to make sure she had heard the announcer properly and she did when she saw the faces of two people she had helped at the hospital just days prior on the big screen. Aside from Mathew and Anthony, there wasn’t any face that rang a bell, even when they introduced each of them. It must have been because she would rather settle down with a book rather than watching grown men balancing on a knife’s edge on ice and body slam into everything. 

Even being a fan of the Devils, she enjoyed the atmosphere of the game as opposed to the actual game on the ice. Occasionally going to a game was a simple way to meet up with old friends and catch up with how they had been doing. The social side was what interested her rather than the actual sporting side. Sarah did have to admit that following some of the Devils players on social media was amusing, especially P.K Subban, he seemed to think he was a social media star alongside being a defenceman. But this was the team she had grown up watching, not the Islanders.

The four made their way to their seats and were happy that they hadn’t missed any of the game. It was an interesting first experience for Sarah, as she had never been to a baseball game. Her parents never really took her along to sporting events but she grew up learning ballet and she attributed her patience and perseverance to that. She wished that she had more time and money to continue the hobby, but a college degree brought her classes constantly and more debt than she wished to make sense of.

Although she had never been to a game before, she was able to pick the game up quickly, especially with a few pointers from James and Rachel. Yes, there were a few things that she struggled to understand but to a first-time viewer, she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to understand everything immediately. It turned out to be a rather exciting game and the four were enjoying the atmosphere, eating the snacks they had bought and watching sports. 

She wondered if her life would have been different had she spent more time watching professional sports rather than studying and dancing. But then she realised that she wouldn’t have become the person she was and she loved herself for who she was, and anyone who tried to get her to change wasn’t worthy of her friendship. Sarah prided herself on only being friends with people who respected her, especially after an incident in high school. It was never spoken about, but the people who cared about her knew about it and always looked after Sarah when she dealt with friendship issues. She kept her friendship group small and her walls high, but sometimes that was necessary.

Sarah looked around, trying to find the correct route to the bathrooms. Every arena was different and that never made needing to go any easier. She asked Rachel if she knew the route, thankfully she was able to pass across some basic directions to help Sarah. Head up and just follow what Rachel told you, it’s not that far, she told herself. There wasn’t a line so she was able to head straight in and out quickly. 

It took her a few moments to regain her bearings and start walking again because it seemed like as soon as she started she was stopped by a firm chest. “God, I’m so sorry,” she started apologising to the mysterious stranger she had just crashed into.

“Hey, no worries,” the stranger replied as Sarah stepped back to notice who it actually was that she had walked into. “Aren’t you that nurse from the blood drive?” Anthony asked, thanking the heavens that he might have actually found the girl.

“I was at the blood drive, but I’m not a nurse,” she laughed. He wasn’t the first person to think she was a nurse and wouldn’t be the last. “I’m one of the student doctors, I’m in my final year and help out at the blood drive once a week.”

“Well, urm,” Anthony stuttered, “thanks. Maybe I’ll see you again?” 

“Yeah, if you come along on the same date in two months I’ll be there,” Sarah smiled.

“Thanks, and sorry for crashing into you,” Anthony apologised.

“No worries,” Sarah replied, “maybe see you then?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, watching her turn around and walk back to where she was sitting.

You’re an idiot, Anthony thought to himself. Surely, there was something better he could have said other than maybe I’ll come to the blood bank again. It might have been a good cause, but it would involve him overcoming his fear once again, but maybe for her, he could? 

Sarah returned and the Mets had just started the fourth innings. She informed Rebecca, who she was sat next to about who she had walked into. Rebecca’s mouth hung open and her mother had to ensure that she was okay before asking why the hell her daughter was catching flies. Immediately, Rebecca launched into the entire story of two of New York’s elite sportsmen who had come to their hospital and how Sarah was the one to do their observations. If that wasn’t enough to shock James and Rachel, Sarah bumping into Anthony outside the toilets would have been.

“How crazy,” James exclaimed. His wife agreed and told the girls that fate must have been on their side that day. Sarah thought about it as the game continued, on the train home and in bed that night. Was it really fate? Or just two people who lived in the same city accidentally meeting in the same place twice? Meeting might have been exaggerating slightly, they had been in professional circumstances the first time and bumping into someone accidentally at a sports event certainly wasn’t ideal either. She tried to push the constant confusing thoughts out of her head as she tried to sleep.

Anthony was thinking the same things as he made his way to bed that night. Why couldn’t he have struck up a proper conversation with her? Why did he assume she was a nurse when she clearly told them she was a student doctor? He was a self-aware idiot who needed help talking to girls. But it wasn’t like he could just go back to the hospital, with the description of the girl and ask them to tell him who she was. He had to hope that fate would bring them together once again.

He thought about asking Mat for help, but then remembered all the failed dates he was always going on. It had to be one of the older guys on the team, the ones who were married. Anders, as the captain, was always a safe bet. He was caring and commanding in the way only the captain of an NHL team could be. Anders was also amazing when it came to giving advice. 

“Tito,” Anders spoke at practice the following day, “I just don’t know how you expect me to give you advice when you know basically nothing about this girl.” Anthony’s face frowned, but he understood where he was coming from. It wasn’t like the two of them had been on a few dates and he wanted to take the next step. “General advice though, don’t fuck up when talking to a girl.” Anthony had to let out a laugh, it wasn’t like he wanted to destroy any of his chances with any girl, it was that sometimes his awkward side came out. He knew it was normal to get slightly flustered when talking to someone attractive, but all he wanted was to meet her again so he would be able to have another chance.

Sarah checked the order on her phone one more time. Being the student doctor meant that she was often tasked with going on a coffee run. She didn’t mind though, she was just looking forward to the days when she could be the one offering treatment, even if the psychiatry ward wasn’t where she saw herself in the future. Unfortunately, she had to head to a Starbucks that was slightly further away from the hospital due to the usual one being out of almond milk which is what Dr Jones had in his coffee. Sarah warned the staff about this but they informed her that it was okay and rounds could wait until she got back. They also said that they would let her help with some procedures on the patients when she returned which made her become more excited to return to the hospital.

The scarf the young girl was wearing engulfed her body, but it kept her warm, and that was all that she cared about. Fashion was second to being warm and comfortable, especially in the New York winter. It was only a five-minute walk to the coffee shop which Sarah was thankful for as she wanted to spend as much time in a building with heating as possible which was completely understandable. She watched the small amount of snow as it fell on her short walk and some of it stayed on her coat until she entered the shop. It wasn’t a busy day, but she had arrived earlier than the estimated time suggested so she found an unoccupied seat easily and busied herself on her phone. The peace and quiet was something Sarah rarely had time to enjoy working in a hospital so she savoured the short amount of time she was in it for.

Her enjoyment was cut short by a group of rowdy people who walked in to collect a to-go order like she was. They were directed to sit down near where Sarah was sitting and she hoped that her order was almost ready so she could try and get away from the people causing all of the noise. “Fancy seeing you here,” Sarah heard a voice from behind where she was sitting and slightly turned her head to see a slightly dishevelled Anthony Beauvillier. She greeted him awkwardly, not really sure how to address someone you had only met twice and one of those times she was being filmed and the other was a complete accident. 

“Are you waiting for coffee?” he asked, mentally face palming as he asked. Of course, she’s here for coffee, it’s a coffee shop, what else would she be here for? Anders said don’t fuck up and what was the first thing he did? Fuck up.

“Yeah,” Sarah replied, trying to hide a laugh at how nervous he seemed. “As the med student, I’ve been tasked with grabbing some coffees before we start rounds.”

“Isn’t there a coffee place closer to the hospital?” Anthony asked, genuinely curious. He was almost certain that when he brought Mat for an operation the other month he stopped by the one that was right outside. 

“There is, but they were out of almond milk. So here I am,” she said, laughing slightly. Anthony nodded in understanding hoping that he would be able to ask for her number rather than stutter over his words once again.

“I know this seems really random,” he started, not really sure how to phrase it without seeming weird, “but fate had brought us together three times and I’d rather not risk it again. Could I maybe get your number?” Anthony reached up to scratch the back of his neck, he couldn’t have fucked up another time, could he? 

“Yeah sure, pass me your phone,” Sarah responded with a smile. She was glad that he had asked her rather than her asking because she would never have been able to. She was always the quiet one in her group of friends, but she didn’t need to be loud to be noticed. Her academic achievements showed off more than she could ever say. Anthony quickly pulled his phone out of

his pocket, unlocked it and found the contacts section. Sarah found the add new contact section and typed in her name and number. “There you go,” she exclaimed just as the barista called her name. “Text me?” she asked Anthony who responded with a swift nod of his head.

He was still in shock, how on earth was he actually able to ask her for her number and why on earth did she actually give it to him? Anthony made his way back to the group of hockey players and Anders quickly pulled him aside. He asked Anthony if she was the girl and a few questions about her so he could attempt to figure out the situation. It wasn’t like he was going to share anything that he found out, he just wanted the best for his young winger and if that involved a girl, he was going to be happy for him.

The entire conversation with Anthony had thrown Sarah off but she knew that she couldn’t let it bother her professionally so went back to the ward as if nothing had ever happened, and was able to help with a few patient diagnoses and even suggested medications to her superiors who were impressed with the knowledge that she had in the subject. They even asked if she was considering a residency in the field because they would love to have her on board. It wasn’t like she could say no, instead she told them that she was keeping her options open and wanted to experience as many fields as possible before choosing her field. Even though she knew that there was only one place that she saw herself, in the emergency department.

She eventually found time in the day, 4 in the afternoon, to rest her legs for the first time in what seemed like days. Sarah loved the time she spent in the hospital and was beginning to learn how to survive on little sleep and lots of coffee. She also enjoyed the variety of patients she was seeing and the fact that they were actual human beings not just case studies on a piece of paper. Helping people was always something that she enjoyed doing.

Rebecca was adding the final touches to the roasted vegetables as Sarah made her presence known in their apartment. Sarah placed her backpack down on the couch and quickly followed the scent of salmon to the kitchen. “Becca,” she groaned, “you take too good care of me.” Rebecca shook her head as she continued to plate up the dinner. The conversation that the two had over their food, and a glass of red wine which according to Sarah was acceptable because it promoted blood thinning. 

Sarah mentioned it when they were clearing up, which wasn’t the smartest idea she had ever had because Rebecca almost dropped the dishes into the sink. “You saw him again?” Rebecca exclaimed, wanting to make sure she had heard her best friend right because there was no way that she had seen a group of the Islanders in a Starbucks and had given her number to Anthony Beauvillier.

“Yeah,” Sarah replied, “I mean, I gave him my number so it’s probably gonna be hidden in a pile of other, prettier girls numbers, but hey. I tried, and that’s all I can do.” Rebecca sent a soft smile in her housemate’s direction, she knew that there had to be a reason for fate to bring them to the same place three times. It couldn’t just be a coincidence anymore, could it?

Anthony sunk into the soft material of his and Mat’s main couch, wishing the world would just engulf him. He groaned into one of the cushions as he tried to release all of the awkwardness that his body held. Mat tried to get him to talk, especially when he noticed that he was talking to a girl at the coffee shop but Anthony was stubborn and refused to say anything. Mat was the one who had a better track record out of the two, but Anthony didn’t need to hear his best friend bragging about all the different ways he had seduced different women into his bed in different states across the country. He needed advice on keeping the same woman around him.

Yes, he had previous girlfriends but none stayed around longer than two months or however long it took for them to get intimate a few times and he hated that. Anthony wanted to form a connection with someone, he wanted to come home from a long road trip to someone waiting in bed for him, he wanted someone who was available to go on dates with him regularly. He wanted love. And it was proving harder than he wanted it to be to find.

Matt Martin had decided that this losing streak needed to end, so he took them to an all-expenses-paid training camp on Cape Cod during the few days they had between games. As an experienced player, he knew that taking some time away from watching tape and having failed set plays occur during training was the best thing they could do. So he found a place that fit their needs and was able to cater to their weird athlete diet. They kept in shape by taking part in a variety of watersports and using the spacious gym facilities that were on offer. It also allowed Anthony to pull Anders aside once more to try and get advice on what to do. 

At this point, Anders was close to telling him that he needed to do something but refrained from saying it in those words as he knew that this was a difficult thing for a teammate to bring to him. “Just text her,” Anders told him, collecting a towel to wipe away the sweat forming on his brow as the two completed some interval training on the treadmill.

“I would,” Anthony replied sarcastically, “but what do I say?” Anders noticed the genuine concern in his voice, did this girl he had met all of three times really have such a hold over him? All he could do was give the most sensible advice he could think of and told him that he would try and ask some people under the radar for more information but stressed that he needed to actually get in contact with her. 

Anthony told his captain that he would try his best but his anxious feeling never seemed to go away, especially when he opened up her contact to send her a message. He kept thinking of everything that could go wrong, and never the positives that he could get out of it. Yes, he might not get a girlfriend out of it, but even gaining a new friend would be much better than not even trying. But he pushed these thoughts to the side, well, as best as he could, before moving to work on some hand-eye coordination tasks alongside some of his potential linemates.

The three day trip to Massachusetts came to an end much quicker than all of the Islanders wanted, but Barry Trotz was pleased to see that they were rejuvenated from their time away and was able to try the same drills they had done previously and this time they were a lot more successful. This translated to a successful win streak against the Rangers and Flyers and they all decided that it was the right time to celebrate.

Vodka shots, tequila shots, sambuca shots. If it was liquor, it could be found in the private room that the Islanders had booked for their celebration. Anthony had meant to invite Sarah, he did send her a simple text telling her that this was his number, but he couldn’t justify throwing her into the life of a WAG when they were barely even friends, so he simply told her that he was going on a night out in celebration which she completely understood, he had worked hard for his job as an athlete and deserved to celebrate.

Sarah didn’t want to scare Anthony by mentioning that she was doing her rotation in the emergency department in case she was at the closest hospital to him and someone needed immediate attention. She thought it was a long shot, but at around 1 am she heard a voice that she recognised. Dr Stevens was the doctor she was shadowing and he had just been introducing the two of them to the patient who was a lovely elderly couple where one of them had a fall and they were recommended to visit the ED to make sure that they were all okay. 

She was instructed to begin some basic observations and took a few samples of blood to send down to the labs; it was a procedure that she had done many times on her colleagues and models but one she was unfamiliar with on elderly people as their veins weren’t always as visible. The couple were lovely and continued to encourage her even as she struggled but it was the motivation she needed as she was able to collect the appropriate number of vials needed to test for a variety of conditions.

James, one of the nurses, had begun to start looking after the crowd of boys by first, taking some general observations of each of them to make sure that they were not suffering from over intoxication. He thanked the lord, even though he was an atheist, that they were just drunk. He was able to collect some water for the two who weren’t injured then was able to take a quick look at Mat’s hand. James quickly called over Sarah for help when it came to attaching an IV and Dr Stevens had made sure that if he wasn’t looking after her that the most experienced nurse would be assisting her, tonight that being James.

Sarah was shocked to see Mat with a bloody rag covering his wrist, covering what looked like a relatively deep graze. James informed her of the situation and that she needed to attach him to an IV and would be observing him putting in a set of absorbable stitches to quickly solve the small issue of his graze. She agreed but Anthony and Matt, who for some reason thought that they needed a father figure at the hospital, kept trying to distract her. It wasn’t like she minded chatty patients, in fact, they were some of her favourites because it meant that she was able to find out more information about conditions they had, but drunk people weren’t her forte. However, she was beginning to notice that a night shift in the emergency department consisted of more drunk people than she thought.

One of the other nurses, Shelly, was able to lead Anthony and Matt to an empty bay where they were given a few more bottles of water and some snacks to help them sober up. Occasionally, someone would stick their head in to make sure that New York’s Long Island’s finest were doing okay. 

It was relatively easy to hook Mat to the IV and he was pretty comfortable when James began to stitch up his graze. He had experienced it multiple times and more often than not there was no pain relief so the small amount he had been given was a lifesaver. He did continue to chat to Sarah as if he was competing for Canada but she understood why. Hospitals were not a nice place to be at the best of times and if this made him more comfortable, then he should do that. It wasn’t up to her to tell him what made him comfortable, that was completely out of bounds.

A few minutes passed, and Sarah had begun to start Mat’s discharge paperwork and that included sending a small report to the doctors at their training facilities. She imagined if she were one of them, she wouldn’t be too impressed to hear that one of her star forwards had slightly injured himself, but that was for Mat to explain. She was simply documenting what she saw and the procedures that were undertaken. 

2:53 in the morning. Anthony had sobered up enough to call the three of them an Uber to their respective places and he also thanked Sarah profusely for looking after them too. She was humble, simply letting him know that it was her job, even if she wasn’t getting paid for it. He also promised that as a thank you, he would take her out on a date. Sarah was almost sure that when he woke up, hopefully fully sober, he would have completely forgotten about that so she simply brushed it off with an “of course Anthony.” What else was she meant to say? It wasn’t like she could whip out her phone and just say, tell me the date and time and I’ll be there. This placement was preparing her for a job in a hospital. She couldn’t do that to any other patient, or their family members, so why was Anthony different?

“Professional hockey player, absolutely filled out, oh, and you have a crush on him,” Rebecca told Sarah like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sarah felt her cheeks heat up as Rebecca went further down the list, it wasn’t like anything that she said was wrong, it just wasn’t what she had hoped to hear at 8 am over a coffee with her best friend. She sighed as she went to pick up the steaming mug of coffee, not sure how to respond.

“Yes, yes and maybe?” Sarah replied, not really sure how to admit to the small amount of feelings she had begun to feel about the winger. The pair had been sporadically messaging each other, mainly a well done for a three-point night or how was the er today? Nothing more than that, but Sarah wanted more but knew that he might not feel the same way and accepted the small amount of communication with him.

Anthony, on the other hand, was sweating and not just from the painful workout that they had just been subjected to. He knew he needed to ask Sarah out on a date, sooner rather than later, because he was certain that she would be able to find someone with whom she could hold more intelligent conversations. She was a medical student, after all, he told himself. As he sat on the small couch in his bedroom, he checked Google Maps searching for a small coffee shop where he could ask her on a weekend, casual date. He picked one that looked nice enough, and just went for it.

Anthony: Hey, this might seem out of the blue but I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee sometime this weekend? I’m not playing until Monday and I’d really like to see you

And now he had to play a waiting game, but he didn’t have to wait as long. Once he had returned from collecting a parcel, a care package from his mother containing things that he missed from Quebec, he checked his phone to see a reply. He smiled to himself, even if it was a rejection, he wasn’t being ignored which in his books was a massive win.

Sarah: Hiya! That sounds like a great idea, I’ve got a small research thing to do, but I can do that whenever. Text me when and where and I’ll be there :)

The first thing Anthony did was text Anders and let him know. His captain was pleased for him and was happy to hear that he had taken the initiative even if he was worried. But now, Anthony had three more days to worry about something else.

Rebecca shouted through the hallway to try and get Sarah’s attention. Sarah had left her phone in the lounge as she went to change into something more comfortable and it wasn’t like she expected Anthony to reply so quickly either. “It says,” Rebecca started before Sarah swooped in to take the phone out of her hand and held it to her chest. There was no way in hell that Sarah was going to let Rebecca find out that she was going on her first date in 4 years, let alone with Anthony Beauvillier of the New York Islanders.

As she raised one of her eyebrows, Rebecca looked over quizzically at her best friend. “Tell me who that text was from and I’ll drop it completely,” she bargained knowing that even though she was studying law there was no way in hell she would be able to get any more information out of Sarah.

The two shared a look and Sarah knew that Rebecca wouldn’t push, or at least she hoped. “Anthony,” she said, wishing that she either assumed who he was or didn’t care enough to ask. Rebecca’s jaw dropped in shock, did Sarah Milkins really just say that she was going to go for coffee with Anthony. Anthony Beauvillier. Number 18 for the New York Islanders. It wasn’t like it could be a different Anthony as he was the only one who both of them knew and that Sarah would have told Rebecca if she had even been talking to anyone else.

Rebecca tried to get hold of the phone but Sarah quickly ran back into her room and locked the door before she could be asked any more questions. “I’m saying yes, we’re going to Maman at 3 o’clock on Sunday, I’ll be back before nine,” Sarah shouted through the door. Eventually, Sarah let Rebecca into her room and let out a little scream of excitement. They spent the rest of their afternoon discussing date attire and just tried to stay as calm as possible.

[everlarkficexchange]

Not today

Written by: @emilia206

Prompt 4: Trope: Jealousy Katniss. Modern AU Katniss Everdeen sees his ex boyfriend as the date of one of her coworkers in the company party. She shouldn’t care, because she broke with him, one year ago and still…. when their song plays, against her better judgements, she finds herself dancing with him. [submitted by @alwayseverlark] 

Rating: Mature

Word count: 8062

British lingo you might be unaware of:

A-Level’s - Last form of examination before students go off to university. 

Ladbrokes - betting shop

Tesco - food store

(If I left anything out, let me know)

A/N: Thank you to my wonderful beta @melting-starlight, on ao3 she’s Starlight_Wren.

Forlorn, she stares down at her lager, it’s the first moment of quiet she’s had since she entered the pub. Plutarch had been the first to drag her away, talking about everything from what his lunch was like to how much the station was missing her shows. She had only been able to nod and smile, making agreeable noises at the appropriate times, but otherwise letting all of his words wash over her. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Plutarch had bustled off through the crowd to go talk to another unsuspecting colleague. She had tried to crane her neck over the other patrons’ head, to see if she could spot either Johanna or Annie, the only reason she had relented and come to this thing. But before she could make any discernible recognition, Fulvia, Plutarch’s right hand woman, had sidled up behind her, saying that they simply must ‘catch up’. Ever straight to the point though, she had skipped pleasantries and gone right to the heart of the matter. What had she been doing this past year? 

The answer was a pretty simple one, but for some reason that escaped Katniss, it needed lots of explanation. She had spent close to forty-five minutes getting her brain picked apart. Trying, to no avail, to explain to the silly woman the exact reason she had uprooted her and left everything behind to travel all over the globe. Meeting new people, not many, but some. Enough people, Katniss thought. At first, there hadn’t really been a point in it, other than she had to get away from the shit show that was her life. Five years she’d worked at that stupid radio station, blathering on about meaningless things that made her mind fog up with the mundanity of it all. And all she had gotten out of it was a small damp flat in the north of London, with expensive bills and an insufferable landlord. Five years of only seeing her little sister once, twice if she was lucky, a year. Five years of shattered dreams and a dead end job. And still, this woman could not understand why she would want to leave. Of course Katniss never said any of this to Fulvia, but it had been swimming around her head throughout the entirety of the conversation. Instead, she had given watered down reasons and held her tongue as Fulvia had gone on to say, “But what about that boyfriend of yours? I remember him being so supportive…” 

She didn’t want to get into that, how she had left him behind. It had been a year and the wound that it had inflicted still ran too deep, was too painful to get into. Especially with nosy, judgy Fulvia. So, she had politely excused herself from the conversation, taking to the bar and ordering herself an overpriced pint. Fantastic. It wasn’t like she was strapped for cash or anything. 

Having given up on searching for Annie and Johanna at this nightmarish reunion, she had found herself a quiet corner in the buzzing room, sitting on a lumpy sofa and setting her drink down on an aged wooden table that had ring marks on the surface from drinks overspilling. It wasn’t often that she thought about Peeta, having long since trained her mind to immediately turn and run in the other direction if any thoughts began leading her down that painful path. But now, with Fulvia bringing him up, and being surrounded by people who had all been privy to their relationship, it was only inevitable that she should think of him. Specifically, the last time she had seen him.

 —————————–

His face had closed off, completely shuttering all emotions that would otherwise flick across his face. And still, as he stood, staring blankly at her, she continued talking. Trying to explain herself, explain why she just had to leave.

“Please Peeta, believe me when I say it isn’t you,” she whispered, “I just feel so trapped in my own life, and I feel as if I don’t leave now, I never will get anywhere.”

“What about us?” he replied, tone blank and neutral, but still betraying the underlying anger and confusion.

She shook her head sadly, tears falling unbidden from her eyes. Desperately wanting him to hold her and tell her it would be alright, but needing him to stay well away from her so that she could do this. Finish this, clean and precise as Johanna had told her to do it. 

“Right,” Peeta said, voice hollow.

They stood there, silence engulfing the little flat. It was never silent in there, the generators downstairs always humming, her boiler constantly gurgling away, but it seemed even these held their breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I think you should leave now,” Katniss said to her feet, not daring to look up at his face. 

She stood in her kitchen, stock still, as if any movement from her would cause her to break and shatter on the linoleum tiles of the floor. She listened as Peeta collected his toothbrush and spare clothes. Katniss flinched at the sense of finality she felt when the door banged shut.

 ————————-

Their break-up had been anything but clean and precise, and it wasn’t a wonder considering that Katniss had been at the helm of it. It was ironic, really, that for five years, her income had depended on her being able to talk for hours about nonsensical things, always upbeat and on the ball for the listeners chiming in, but when it came to her own boyfriend, she hadn’t been able to get the words out right. She had made him think that it was him that was suffocating her, when in actuality it was everything. She was pushing thirty and already she could feel herself stagnating. 

She wished that she could do it again, try not to make such a mess of it as she had done. How could she have known, though, the profound affect it seemed to have had on Peeta? He had always been so supportive of her decisions, only asking that she open up to him and be honest. Of course she hadn’t expected him to be completely OK with her decision, but she had been hoping that he would at least understand her reasoning. Instead, he had been angry and confused, perhaps even rightfully so, before he had completely shut down becoming cold and distant in the moments prior to him slamming out of her little home.

“Penny for your thoughts?” a perky voice said next to her, pulling Katniss out of her reverie. 

Looking up, Katniss couldn’t help but smile at the big brown eyes that were peering down at her. Rue. Her intern from a year ago. She didn’t look much different,  just a little older and worse for wear. But that’s what this job did to you, lured you in with promises of bigger and better ahead, before getting you trapped and very much stuck. 

“You don’t want to know,” Katniss replied, shuffling over and making space for the young woman.

“Oh, and why’s that?” Rue asked, her lips quirked upwards in a smile.

“Neither thinking, nor talking about it will solve a thing,” she mumbled down at her glass before taking a prolonged drink from it. She reveled in the fizz and slightly bitter taste as it washed down her throat. 

“Well, if you’re gonna be all closed off to me, your favourite intern, I’ll let you in on all of my issues to date,” Rue said, taking a sip from her own glass.

Katniss smirked. It was true that Rue was her favourite intern, but that wasn’t exactly a feat. Most interns that Katniss had been given the responsibility of taking care of had been so awful that they were fired within their first two weeks of working at the station. 

“So, remember how you warned me before you left, that this job ‘will suck me dry of all inspiration and motivation’ whilst also ‘dashing my dreams and love for the craft’ but not before ‘restricting what me on what I can talk about, and instead giving me stupid shows that will make me want to die’?” Rue paused, taking a drink from her pint.

“Yes, I do recall telling you all of those things, I assume you’ve come to the conclusion that I was correct and that you should have saved yourself while you could,” Katniss said, trying not to gloat at the fact that she was at least right about something, and it wasn’t just her overreacting and being dramatic.

 Rue nodded her head vigorously, her corkscrew curls bouncing, “Well, I’ll be honest. At the time, I thought you were just being dramatic, or maybe you were bitter about something, but you really were so right. I can’t get anyone to take me seriously or invest in any bigger show ideas, or get them to take on or promote more obscure artists. The sponsors continuously overlook me so that they can pour more money into presenters who have a body to boot. Even though that shouldn’t matter, ‘cause we’re on a fucking radio, nobody is looking at the face or body behind the voice anyway!”

 “And as soon as I try to get Plutarch or Fulvia to give me a recommendation so that I can move to something a little more low key and less industrious, they tell me that I shouldn’t leave, that I have so much potential, and that it would be such a waste for me to go do something less mainstream, because how will I ever be recognised then?” Rue finished with a defeated groan, flopping back against the leather cushions. 

Looking up at the ceiling, Rue asked, “How’d you get out? I mean for me, it’s just an endless cycle of early mornings, playing music that makes my ears bleed, and frustration that after all my hard work, I’ve just become another peppy girl on the radio.”

Katniss snorted at this, “Depressing, isn’t it? After all the analysing of different styles of music and poetry, it amounted to this.”

“Fuucckk,” Rue groaned at the ceiling fans, “It’s depressing because it’s so painfully true. Do you know how many hours I spent holed up in my room studying for my Music and English A-Levels just so I could at least get a seven, and now I’m stuck here.”

Katniss nodded her head, “Only ‘cause I did the same thing though. What were we thinking?”

“Ugh, I know! My mum told me that this was an ‘unsustainable career path’. I hate to say it, but I think she may have had a point.”

A crash came from the other side of the room, effectively interrupting their mutual venting session, a clattering of glasses fell to the floor and shattered, causing both Katniss and Rue to jump before turning around to see what happened. A flustered waiter apologised profusely to a skimpy blonde who looked upon him with narrowed green eyes, and a stain that looked an awful lot like red wine spilled on her yellow dress. The few people who had been applauding the waiters slip up began to slow their claps when they realised that the unfortunate woman who now had a stain across the front of her dress, was not taking it on the chin as it were. In fact, she looked like she was a few seconds from throwing a fit.

“Oof, would not want to be that guy,” Rue remarked, “Glimmer looks about ready to go get his ass fired.”

Katniss turned to look at Rue, who was leaning her chin on the back of the sofa, “How’d you know her name?”

Rue made a face, “She’s a presenter at the radio station, she does the show that Annie used to do.” 

“Shit, really,” Katniss said, blowing air through her teeth to make a low whistling sound. “That show was one of the more popular ones.”

“Still is. Rumour has it that the company hired her to replace Annie, who was making noises to leave, so they sent her Glimmer as an intern. Annie left a week later, claiming that the work environment had become insufferable.”

Katniss had turned back to watch as the waiter bent to pick up the broken glass, whilst so-called Glimmer rolled her eyes impatiently at another waiter who was handing her paper towels to try wipe up the mess on her dress. While watching, Katniss listened intently to what Rue was saying, “People weren’t surprised when she quit. Glimmer is quite literally the epitome of a toxic work environment.”

“Oh well, this just makes me all the more glad that I left,” Katniss said. Annie had emailed her when she’d quit, but hadn’t given a reason why. At the time, Katniss had just assumed it was because both Johanna and herself had already left, but this must have been the breaking point for her. 

“Oh, she’s not even the worst of it,” Rue said, a cynical smile touching her lips as they watched another woman with jet black hair and pinched features walk up to Glimmer, she took the paper towels from the waitress and threw them down to the floor, yelling something unintelligible, “That’s Clove. As you can see, she’s got quite a temper on her. She’s the one who replaced Johanna as DJ. The two of them together are quite… formidable.”

Katniss turned in her seat to grab her drink from the table so she could drink and watch this scene unfold in front of her. She would be lying if she said that it wasn’t just a teeny bit entertaining. Taking a sip from her mellowing beer, she almost choked when she saw who was joining the show. Blond ashen curls, broad shoulders, and a slight limp from a rugby injury that had never quite healed. It was Peeta. Her Peeta, consoling this shallow, pitiful, blonde bimbo. 

She could feel Rue’s eyes on her, watching for a reaction. Katniss swallowed painfully, oblivious to the taste, eyes glued to what was happening in front of her very eyes. Maybe it wasn’t him. It couldn’t possibly be him. There was no way, absolutely no fucking way, that the Peeta Mellark that she had known all throughout secondary school, was even remotely affiliated with such a cow. Deep down, Katniss knew that she was possibly being a little harsh, but jealousy, lots of it, was rearing its ugly green head, skewing her opinions.

“Yeah, and then there’s that,” Rue uttered, “reason number fuck knows what as to why I ‘strongly dislike’ Glimmer.”

Katniss breathed deeply, shoving down the irrational, possessive anger that was overcoming her. She cleared her throat, which had become exceptionally tight in the last two minutes, “Are they… an item?”

“I wouldn’t say so,” Rue said, turning around to face the other way again, “as far as I know, they’re just fuck buddies. Who knows, though, maybe he does the wine and dining as well.”

Katniss, following suit, also turned around, sitting stoically, and taking slow sips from her sweating drink. “So he’s fucking her.”

Rue nodded, sighing a little as she did so, “I know it might not be my place to comment-”

“It probably isn’t then,” Katniss interrupted, wanting very much to go back to her hotel room now.

  “But,” Rue continued, “you were really fucking dense to let that man walk away from you. I have no idea what happened between the two of you, but even I can appreciate that ass, and oh my god those shoulders,” she pretended to fan herself, before turning incredulous, “and he’s not even my type.”

Katniss snorted at this, turning around for a quick second, to survey the specimen that was now patting down an incensed Glimmer. She couldn’t deny that he still looked sexy as fuck. He definitely seemed to have fared this year a little better than her. Turning back around, she looked down at what she was wearing. A simple dress that she’d bought from a charity shop when she was sixteen, it was light blue and the material was soft and light, perfect for the humid weather that London summers were, but it did look as if it might be on its last legs. Her hair was loose for once, and hung in ebony waves down her back, but otherwise she hadn’t made much of an effort, as could be seen by her scruffy trainers and mismatched socks. She didn’t need to impress these people anyway. 

“Yeah, stupid indeed,” Katniss muttered. 

They sat there then, silence washing over them, until the unmistakable sound of a speaker system being plugged in echoed throughout the crowded room. Katniss looked up to see her friend climbing up onto the bar, a little wobbly on her feet, but her voice was commanding no less.

“Alrighty, I’ve been asked to do a little set tonight, but because I forgot to set up a good playlist that will please all of you old folk, I’ll be taking requests,” she made to get off the bar, but paused mid-step hollering across the room, “And if I think your song request is shit I won’t play it, feel free to take it personally.”

Katniss didn’t really care much for the offer to request music, she was just relieved to know that Johanna had, in fact, shown up. She had been wondering whether either of her ex-work-colleagues had actually bothered. Knowing that Johanna was here, though where she’d been all night was something Katniss would like to know, meant that Annie was probably here as well. 

Rue, on the other hand, immediately got up. Kissing Katniss on the cheek, she proclaimed, “Oh, I have a song that Jo simply must play.” 

She walked off into the crowd, but abruptly turned back, looking down at Katniss, who was still cocooned in the soft leather of the sofa, “Also, if you get any interesting job offers don’t be scared to recommend me,” with a wink, she waltzed off again.

Alone once again, and trying desperately to distract herself from the ‘pat down’ Peeta was assuredly still giving Glimmer, Katniss gulped down the rest of her pint, before standing to go get another. 

Waiting at the bar for the barmaid to get to her drink, she tapped out a rhythm on the polished wood. Distracted, she almost didn’t notice the familiar opening chords to a song she hadn’t let herself listen to in a year. 

Johanna’s voice sounded over the speaker system, “For all you lovesick idiots here tonight, Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.”

Katniss’ breath stilled in her chest, this must have been some sick joke the universe was playing on her. Despite herself, Katniss searched the room for the familiar face that she had once danced to this with at prom. Scanning the crowd, her eyes finally landed on a seemingly just as stunned Peeta Mellark, his face so pale and pinched he looked like he was about to throw up. He, too, looked to be scanning the crowd. He couldn’t know that she was here, could he? She knew  that she should probably shrink back into the shadows, or, better yet, vacate the premises and head back to her hotel room, to avoid any unnecessary drama that she most certainly did not need. Yet, against her better judgement, she stood her ground, not actively looking to be seen, but not hiding from sight either. 

Her eyes stayed on him, noticing with a missed beat of her heart that Glimmer and Clove were both conspicuously absent. The song had already passed the first verse when Peeta’s eyes finally locked on hers. His eyes widened in surprise, but beneath it was still the same warmth and affection that had always been. Her sharp intake of breath told her all she needed to know, those baby blues could still make her knees weak, could still make her feel like she was adrift and untethered in a desolate ocean, with him being the only tether to reality. Their gazes locked on one another as the second verse began;

A singer in a smoky room

The smell of wine and cheap perfume

Peeta’s eyes stared holes into her, and for a moment it was as if no time had passed, as if he was standing on the other side of the school’s assembly hall as an entire year group of nervous sweaty eighteen year olds danced the evening away to overplayed 80’s tracks. Katniss was even greeted with the familiar erratic beating of her heart, wishing and hoping that he’d just bottle up the nerve and ask her already!

That night, she had been the one to walk across the dance floor to ask him to dance, but tonight, it seemed it would be Peeta who would take the first tentative steps towards her.

For a smile they can share the night

It goes on and on, and on, and on

 Drink forgotten, Katniss stepped away from the bar, walking towards the people already congregating to dance on a small open space on the floor. The first chorus sounded through the room;

Strangers, waitin’

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows

Searchin’ in the night

Streetlights, people

Livin’ just to find emotion

Hidin’ somewhere in the night

They met in the middle, and Katniss looked up at him through her lashes. 

“For old times sake,” Peeta murmured down to her, offering his hand.

She tried not to let his remark sting, that their relationship is in fact in the past. That he had moved on from her, that she should too. But falling into his arms, head resting over his breast bone listening to his heart thumping away, letting him sway them to the music, felt so natural and familiar. The tears stung behind her eyes, and she bit her lip to stop herself from sobbing out loud. She didn’t want to be sad, to mar this song with her regrets, when it was accompanied by so many good and happy memories. Of the two of them messing around in his kitchen, or her bedroom. 

So, she swallowed down her tears, and let herself fall back in time to when things were simpler. Letting the music and words wash over her, rejuvenating her weary soul.

Workin’ hard to get my fill

Everybody wants a thrill

Payin’ anything to roll the dice

Just one more time

Some will win

Some will lose

Some were born to sing the blues

Oh, the movie never ends

It goes on and on, and on, and on

She laughed when he spun her, then recaptured her in his arms. He swooped low, before lifting them back up and spinning them in slow circles. 

Strangers waitin’

Up and down the boulevard

Their shadows

Searchin’ in the night

Streetlights, people

Livin’ just to find emotion

Hidin’ somewhere in the night

She took the lead, moving them faster, along to the tune of the song. Pulling away from his embrace, but holding on to his hands, as she spun herself to lean her back against his chest with his arms crossed protectively over her.

Don’t stop believin’

Hold on to that feelin’

Streetlight, people

Don’t stop, believin’

Hold on

Streetlights, people

As the song began to slow again, and Steve Perry ad-libbed his way through the end of the song, Peeta turned her again so that they were pressed chest to chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and their steps became so minuscule they could do it on a pie plate if they wished to do so. She stared up into his bottomless blue eyes, a genuine smile lighting up her face for the first time this evening. 

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Her smile faltered slightly, and she looked down, ashamed at how easily she had let herself fall back into his arms. The moment of magic had ended, and she was thrown back into the icy cold reality of her life. For christ’s sake they hadn’t spoken in a year, and now suddenly they were dancing and laughing on the dance floor!

Don’t stop believin’

Hold on to that feelin’

Streetlight, people 

He turned them one last time. He leant his cheek on the top of her head, sighing quietly as if knowing about the beratement Katniss was giving herself in her head. He swayed them as the song faded out. She pulled away, chancing a glance up at his face. The pain she had inflicted onto him shone through his eyes, and though it killed her to do it, she could only pull further out of his arms, backing away. He watched after her, arms limp at his sides, and she turned, pushing through the crowd.

“Oi, watch it!” Someone called after her as she shoved past people. 

Finally, after stepping on numerous toes and elbowing a few people in the sides, she made it over to the makeshift DJ table. Johanna was leaning against it, chewing on a toothpick as she announced in a lazy drawl the next song. Behind her shoulder she could see Annie leaning heavily into some guy with bronzed curls and tanned skin, Katniss thought that she had seen him before in a couple of Annie’s instagram posts. 

“Ahhh, Brainless,” Johanna called out when she spotted a breathless Katniss standing before the table, “here to make a song request? Maybe another one that you can dance to with lover boy.”

“What the fuck, Jo?” Katniss cried out, “Did you put that song on just to mess with my head? ‘Cause it sure as hell worked.” Katniss ran her shaking hands through her hair, not caring if she messed it up, or if it got tangled. 

Johanna raised her eyebrows in surprise, “Wait, you don’t actually believe I put that song on, do you?”

“Well, who else, Johanna?!” 

“I didn’t even know you were here up until five minutes ago, let alone him!” Johanna spat out, incredulity lacing her voice, “And besides, I’m only taking requests this evening. I did let everyone know,” she sniffed, rolling her eyes.

“Ok fine, if it wasn’t you, then who?” Katniss hissed, “Because I will start throwing arms if I have to, Jo.”

“Jeez, don’t get your knickers all in a twist, it was only a little dancey,” Johanna teased. Looking at Katniss’ bemused face, she relented, “If you promise to not beat the living lights out of her, I’ll tell.”

“‘Kay fine, I promise,” Katniss said, her anger subsiding a little. Whoever it was, it wasn’t their fault that she couldn’t just leave when she definitely should have, “Just tell me who.”

Johanna nodded her head in the direction of the bar, Katniss followed her gaze, eyes greeted with an apologetic looking Rue. Rue grimaced a little, apparently having watched Katniss’ outburst. At least she looked sorry, Katniss thought. 

Her anger having dissipated, the feeling of regret and sadness settled cold and heavy in her stomach. She deflated against the table, feeling very tired all of a sudden, “I need a smoke,” she muttered, “Lighter,” she held out her hand.

Johanna grumbled under her breath, fishing through her pockets for a lighter. “Give it back after,” she warned, slapping it into Katniss’ outstretched palm.

Katniss weaved her way through the crowds once more, being a little more careful to not piss off so many people this time, until she got to the coat rack next to the door. The coat rack itself was leaning over under the weight of all the coats draped over the top of it. After some digging around, Katniss found her light jean jacket and pulled it out from underneath the mountain of others piled up on top of it. Pulling it on, she pushed open the door to the pub and stepped out into the night. 

It looked like the sun had just gone down, streaks of orange fading into the sky as dusk settled over the stinking, sweltering city. It had cooled off quite a bit from earlier, and Katniss huddled herself further into her jacket, trying to leech off any residual warmth from it. She walked down the shallow stone steps,  found herself a place to light her cigarette. Leaning against the cold brick wall behind her, not caring if she got her coat or dress dirty. She fished a loose cigarette out of her coat pocket, and lit the fag, taking a long drag from it, breathing it back out into the cooling air.

“Those things kill, you know,” A voice sounded from behind her. She scowled at how it made her heart leap hopefully in her chest. 

“I know,” she almost growled, wanting him to fuck off back to Glimmer already. She couldn’t deal with having him thrust back into her life, pretending like nothing happened between them. Like she hadn’t irreparably fucked up their entire relationship, just because she felt ‘claustrophobic’.

“I thought you were quitting?” Peeta asked, walking to stand next to her and pulling out his own cigarette. 

She passed him Johanna’s lighter, “You can’t talk,” she snorted as she watched him light his, “And anyway, I am. I just keep emergency ones in all of my coats, and in a few of my trousers.”

Peeta laughed at this, “Yeah, sure does sound like you’re quitting.”

“Hey,” she protested, “I never keep a lighter on me, that way I have to ask someone, and then they’re also accountable for my inevitable lung cancer.”

Peeta’s eyebrows rose at this, and he took a puff from his own cancer stick, “Oh yeah, and how long did it take you do that mental gymnastics.”

Katniss only rolled her eyes, and they both stood next to each other staring out at the street. They watched as a bus pulled up at the stop, and an old man stumbled out, hobbling into the Ladbrokes opposite. A siren blared somewhere in the distance. Two extremely drunk men sat on the steps a good ten metres away from them, but were loud enough for their slurred words to reach the two.

“Listen Katniss, about before,” Peeta started, breaking their comfortable silence, “I didn’t mean to make you feel crowded or guilty, or anything like that.” He looked to her, but she stared resolutely ahead, taking slow small puffs from her cigarette.

“It’s fine,” she finally said, “forget about it. I probably shouldn’t have even danced with you in the first place, what with you being with Glimmer and all.”

“Ah, shit,” Peeta breathed out, “I didn’t think you knew about that.”

“Yeah well, I do,” Katniss snapped. 

Peeta looked as if he wanted to say something, but Katniss cut him off before he could, “I really don’t want to know.”

Peeta nodded his head. They were quiet for a moment.

“I mean, it’s not like you’re not allowed anyway,” Katniss said, scuffing the toe of her already scruffy trainer against the cracked pavement.

Peeta huffed out a bemused, short-lived laugh, “Care to explain that, whilst we’re out here talking civilly?”

“What?” Katniss asked, “Are you asking why I broke up with you?”

Peeta nodded his head once more.

Katniss sighed, “I feel like I’ve told myself and everyone around me the same explanation about a million times, but standing here it doesn’t feel like enough.”

“Well, that’s convenient,” Peeta whispered.

Katniss sighed, trying not to sound too exasperated. What’s it to him anyway, she thought. “Look Peeta, I told you before, and I’ll say it again. It wasn’t you.”

“Doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop asking myself if I did something,” Peeta said.

Katniss finally turned to look up at him, as he stared up at the darkening sky, searching it for the few visible stars, “We’re not even thirty yet, Peeta, I’m not ready to settle. I wasn’t last year, and I definitely am not this year. And I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you told me you weren’t ready yet either, and you’re allowed to be with whoever you want, even if it is someone as silly and shallow as Glimmer. I guess it’s better to get your mid-life crisis out the way now,” she said with a smirk, before sobering and adding quietly, “I’m not completely oblivious Peeta, it’s not like I don’t see her appeal.”

Peeta looked down at her, opening his mouth, she was sure, to deny that Glimmer’s big boobs were the reason. She held up her hand to stop him, “Who knows though, maybe someone’ll convince me to come to this thing again next year, and I’ll see you again. Hopefully with someone other than Glimmer. And just like this year, I’ll steal you for a dance, and then lure you outside for a smoke, and we’ll catch up,” she paused for dramatic affect, stealing herself for what she was going to say next, “After that, you’ll kiss me, right up against the cold brick wall,” she watched as Peeta’s eyes widened at her bold statement.

  Maybe it was her pint of beer that had made her so free and uncaring with her sentiments. Though Katniss would never describe herself as a lightweight, she admitted to herself that it had been a good six weeks since she’d had a proper drink. On second thought, she remembered the last time she drank before tonight being a little over a week ago, and it had been a cider. She grimaced at the thought. Fuck, she mused, when did I become a lightweight? Peeta cleared his throat uncomfortably, prompting her to continue, but unsure of whether she was finished or not. Katniss mentally shook herself before finishing in a low, sultry voice, “Just like you’re going to do this year.”

 “Fuck,” Peeta breathed out, and Katniss watched him visibly struggle to swallow. She tried, and failed, to suppress her smug little smirk, that she could still affect him like this. It eased the green beast within her, the one that had wanted to stamp her foot and cry out earlier when she had witnessed Peeta wiping down the front of Glimmer’s dress. She shook her head. She didn’t want to think of Glimmer, Peeta was out here with her now, that must count for something, right?

“Are you, umm - being serious?” Peeta stuttered, and despite herself Katniss grinned at how flustered he was getting, the pink staining his cheeks betraying how agitated he really was, “Or are you just pulling my leg?”

Katniss took a long drag from her fag, sucking on it until it was down to the stub, “Do I look like I’m joking, Mellark?” 

She watched as his pupils dilated even more in the darkening night, until the blue of his irises were only thin rings around the black pits of his desire. She reveled in being able to do this to him still, after all this time. It comforted her, in a weird, possessive, unhealthy sort of way.

 “No,” he whispered, voice hoarse and barely audible. He dropped his cigarette on the floor, not even bothering to stamp it out before stepping forwards. Large hands came to a rest on her waist, pushing her further back against the wall. She bit back a slight moan at the way he seemed to shelter her, the stark contrast of the cold wall behind her, nipping at the backs of her legs, and the heat that enmantend from his body and radiated onto her. She took a deep shuddering breath, pushing her chest upwards against his. Her hand shook slightly as she stubbed out the remnants of her cigarette against the wall next to her, before letting it fall to the ground as well. 

Their faces were so close now, their mouths only a hair’s breadth apart, all it would take is for one of them to lean in, to close the tantalisingly small space between them. “Tell me you want me to,” Peeta uttered, breath fanning her face. She bit her lip, a sly grin gracing her features.

She leant up on her tiptoes, tracing a path to his ear lobe with her breath, “Peeta Mellark, I want you to kiss me up against this brick wall, until I’m breathless and my knees are weak.” 

 He groaned loudly, and she was about to tell him to be quiet when his lips descended greedily on hers. Knocking the breath right out of her, as he sucked and bit tenderly against first her top and then her bottom lip. She whimpered, admitting to herself that she had missed the way it felt to be kissed by someone who cared. Who didn’t just do it as a way to get into her underwear. 

It was his turn to smile smugly, he pulled away from her, and she chased his lips with her own. Wanting them back, wanting him to plunge and plunder. She huffed out a frustrated growl when he moved even further away. She opened her eyes, taking in his face that grinned with feigned innocence down at her, “What’s the matter Everdeen?” He asked teasingly, “Knees not weak enough yet?”

She glared at him, he knew exactly what he was doing, and she wasn’t having any of it, not tonight. Lifting her hands to his hair, she played with the blond locks, smiling up at him demurely. She would tell him what she wanted step by step if necessary, but she didn’t think it would be. Cocking her head to the side, she mirrored his look of feigned innocence, before tangling her fingers into the shorter hairs at the back of his head, and pulling his lips back down to hers. He grunted against her, and she opened her mouth ever so slightly in invitation. 

It took her all of two seconds to lose all inhibitions, Peeta’s hands moved up from their resting spot on her waist, one cradling the back of her neck and one stroking up and down her back in a motion that made Katniss giddy with desire. Their tongues met in a dance, reacquainting themselves. Peeta’s dove into her mouth, rediscovering everything he already knew about her. 

Peeta placed his leg in between her own, which had opened a little of their own accord, bringing it upwards slightly, daring her to grind up against it. Stubborn as ever, though, Katniss refused to take the bait. Knowing him, he would probably tease her, pull away before she could really get going. But when he tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth, she relented. She could feel her knees turning into jelly, forcing her to slump down onto his leg. She ground down on it experimentally, the rough material of his jeans rubbing up against her boy shorts. Katniss swore into his mouth, and did it again, letting the motion stimulate her throbbing center. She was almost glad that he couldn’t feel the intensity of the heat that seemed to be pouring from her core, but another part of her needed him to know that he could still do this to her. Could still drive her to do halfway insane things, like letting him ravage her up against a wall with all of her ex colleagues a mere few metres away. Pulling his head down further, she held him there, desperate to drink more of him in. 

“Katniss,” he whispered against her mouth, before diving right back in. 

It was her turn to grunt at the power in which he started almost devouring her mouth, she could only cling to the locks of hair wrapped around her fingers, in hopes that she wouldn’t just crumple to the floor. She was rocking against his leg in a steady rhythm, each stroke of his rough denim trousers against her center making her more frantic, desperate for more. Her nerve endings felt frayed, threatening to short circuit and send her spiralling through the abyss. Peeta continued to busy himself with her mouth, pulling away before delving back in, more thorough and rough each time, so that she could only whimper helplessly into his mouth.

It was when the hand that had been stroking leisurely circles into her spine crept towards her front before meandering downwards, that Katniss came somewhat to her senses. She stopped his hand with one of her own, before it could get to the hemline of the skirt to her dress. She pulled away from his lips that had been stroking soft sublime on hers, and looked at him. Eyes blown wide, lips swollen and red from kissing, blond hair tousled and mussed from all her incessant tugging. She was sure she was mirroring this disheveled appearance back at him. He lowered his leg from where it had stayed resting against her, but his hand stayed trapped between their two bodies. If it weren’t so painfully obvious how much they had missed each other, it would be comical how fast and hard they’d fallen back into heated touches and frantic kisses. 

She took a deep breath, wondering if she should apologise, or at least explain, but her brain was still fogged with arousal, and she was finding it very hard to look him in the eye. Instead, she got back on to her tip toes and brought her arms up around his neck, pulling him close to her for a hug. She rested her head against his shoulder, and he slowly brought his arms around her waist, holding her to him as well.

“One day, Peeta,” she began, talking into his neck, “one day…”

“But not today,” he finished for her.

She nodded and squeezed him tighter, a hundred memories of them together flooding her mind, and for the second time this evening she had to fight back the urge to sob. She could only be relieved that he had understood, understood why she couldn’t let him do that, not now, and certainly not here. 

He squeezed her back, and she swore she felt him inhaling her smell, at any other time this would have turned her on beyond reason, but now it only saddened her. How had she managed to fuck it up again? He pressed a quick kiss into the juncture of where her neck met her shoulder, before releasing her from his grasp. 

She wobbled, still a little unsteady on her feet, but managed to start walking in the direction of her bus stop. As she walked past the two drunk men that were still sitting on the stone steps to the pub, she heard one of them call out to her.

“Is the show over, sweetheart?” he asked, sarcasm along with whatever he’d had to drink lacing his voice, “That’s a shame, me an’ Chaff here were really startin’ to ge’ into it.” 

Katniss turned to look at the man who had said it, scathing reply waiting at the tip of her tongue, but before she could say anything, the other man, Chaff she assumed, slurred out;

“Won’t you give an ol’ man a kiss before you go?” The two men guffawed as he made kissy faces at her.

“Arseholes,” Katniss muttered under her breath.

The man with salt and pepper hair down to his shoulders called after her again, though all traces of amusement were gone from his voice. He sounded surprisingly sober when he told her, “I see the way you have him wrapped around your finger, sweetheart, you could live a hundred lifetimes and still not deserve what he gave you tonight,” he burped loudly and continued, “One day he’ll realise that, he’ll realise that he’s better than tha’, be’er than you.” 

 Katniss tried to ignore his words as she waited at the traffic light for the little green man to pop up so she could cross the road, but they still made her blood run cold, because maybe he was right. She turned her head to the side, waiting impatiently for the cars to come to a slow at the T-junction, when the old man, who had since left the betting shop, added his own snarky comment to the fray. If she had known how many people were watching them, she wouldn’t have let it get that far, or go on for so long.

“When do you think he’ll notice the exact degree of your indifference?” He asked in a voice that was weathered and old, but still demanded her attention. He had posed his comment as a question, but he said it as if he already knew the answer. She wasn’t indifferent, she thought, but doubt coursed through her. Hadn’t she just used him to prove a point? A stupid petty point, that she was better than Glimmer. She shook her head at the notion, it had just been a drunken mistake, nothing more.

She turned her head to face the decrepit old man, biting out a response, “Those are some awfully big words for a filthy old beggar, let’s hope you don’t choke on ‘em.” 

The old man threw his head back and laughed, his cracked voice making it sound more like a cackle than anything. To her surprise the man actually did start choking, on his own blood. He bent forwards, crouching low as he spat blood to the floor. 

“Gross,” Katniss muttered, before hurrying across the road. To hell with the traffic, she thought, she just needed to get the fuck out of here.

 The shame and regret were already starting to curl themselves around her, and she felt almost sick with it. She was once again being reminded of how easily being around Peeta could fuck with her head, how it could make her do things that she otherwise wouldn’t do. That she’d sworn to herself wouldn’t happen again. Because, yes, her drink might have had something to do with it, but it was also him, he was intoxicating. The moment she had noticed he was in the room, she had wanted him, needed him. And it might be true that she could make him feel the same way, but people never seemed to see that he was just as good at it as she was. He was always the sweet golden boy, who had had the misfortune of falling in love with the likes of her.

She looked across the street when she arrived at the bus stop. The pub was pouring light from it’s windows and she heard the music playing. Peeta had already disappeared, and Katniss wondered how much he had heard. She hoped none of it. The old man was shuffling into the Tesco next door to the Ladbrokes, and the two men were still sat outside the pub, drinking from flasks. She looked up at the timetable that the bus stop provided, and cursed under her breath when she saw that her bus wouldn’t be arriving for another seven minutes. 

She was about to start walking down the highstreet, so that she wouldn’t have to stand, waiting like a sitting duck, when her phone vibrated in her coat pocket with an incoming message. 

Pulling it out of the pocket, she read what it said.

Johanna Mason [Sent 10:21pm]: Where are you? I’m hungry and bored, wanna get smth to eat?

Katniss considered ignoring the message, but her stomach rumbled in response to the thought of food.

Katniss Everdeen [Sent 10:22pm]: At the bus stop across the road. Don’t you have a set? 

Johanna Mason [Sent 10:22pm]: Ofc you are. Yh I do, but any moron can do this. These song requests are driving me insane tho, so… food?

Katniss Everdeen [Sent 10:23pm]: Yh alright, what tho?

Johanna Mason [Sent 10:24pm]: I could really go for a kebab… and a smoke. We’re leaving now.

Katniss looked up from her phone. Shit. Johanna’s lighter. Peeta still had it. She watched as Johanna banged open the doors to the pub. Trailing after her was a wobbly Annie and the man from earlier. Katniss looked around her, hoping one of the many corner shops littering the street were still open, but they were all depressingly closed. Katniss glared at the closed signs on all the shop doors as if their existence offended her eyes, because in that moment, they really did.

She’d get that lighter back - she turned and saw the group crossing the road - though, maybe not today.