#I'M IN MY FEELS

[icantdothistodaybruh]

LOOK WHAT @paarassha DREW FOR ME AAAAAAFHAJSHAJKA

[respectthepetty]

@placetneplacet writing about Zo being resistant to Joke's advances because he truly believed it was all in his head due to Puen deceiving him has me DEEP in my feels because @placetneplacet is right. Rewatching the show with the knowledge of the trauma Puen caused Zo changes everything.

Really think about this, y'all.

THINK ABOUT IT!

Each time Zo felt any good feelings for Joke, he immediately stopped himself.

He shut down every single time because he couldn't trust himself. He didn't want to repeat his mistake of making someone else uncomfortable with his queerness.

When Joke touched him, he had to remind himself that it meant nothing.

So when he kissed Joke, he sat there that entire time believing Joke would tell him he was crazy for thinking the feeling was mutual.

He really tried to convince himself (and Joke) that nothing changed. That is meant nothing. Because he was afraid of losing a friend.

So when Joke said this, Zo panicked even more!

As @justafriend-ql wrote, once Joke spilled the Roselle juice on him, symbolizing his heart being on his sleeve, Zo thought he was exposed. He thought it was happening all over AGAIN!

And he sat there throughout that entire dinner with Joke in front of his mom, with that red stain, that scarlet letter, his heart on his sleeve FREAKING OUT!

So while Joke was hyping him up to his mom, Zo was getting more anxious telling himself IT WAS IN HIS HEAD! That it didn't mean what he thought it meant. That is was just a friend being a friend.

He was so cold to Joke because he didn't want to give Joke any evidence of his growing feelings. He didn't want Joke to feel uncomfortable, but he also didn't want to give Joke any ammunition to hurt him.

He didn't want to regret it like he did before.

Joke never said how he felt about the kiss because he didn't want to push Zo, but by him not saying anything, Zo went deeper into his head thinking about how he could salvage this without losing Joke.

So the next time he saw Joke, and Joke kept repeating that tongue twister about the fucking toads in love, ZO WAS REPEATING THAT IT WAS ALL IN HIS HEAD! That Joke was just teasing him like Puen had done!

THIS ENTIRE FUCKING CONVERSATION!

Zo was demanding that Joke tell him WHY he kept helping him. He needed to hear Joke say that they were "just friends" so he could finally confirm it was all in his head.

Zo kept calling himself an idiot because he let this happen again. He mixed up the signals. He read too much into it. He is going to destroy another friendship because HE IS THE PROBLEM for thinking the other person liked him.

He was confused because he couldn't stop caring, despite knowing it was one-sided. Even though he knew it was all in his head.

Look at his reaction to being hugged by Joke. LOOK AT IT! He was fighting himself this entire episode. Just like the kiss, he doesn't touch Joke. He stands there. HE IS PANICKING! Because if he hugs Joke, he is exposed. Joke will know how he feels.

It's not until the very end of this episode that Joke tells him that he likes him.

The very last moment, Joke tells Zo what he thought he had imagined was, in fact, real. And look at Zo's face.

That is the look of hope.

He still doesn't believe it.

But in spite of everything, he hopes this is real.

When Zo's friends are also "surprised" by Joke's feelings, it makes Zo doubt it more.

But even though Zo can't express himself because he is still terrified this is all a joke at his expense and believes Joke is going to leave him, Joke keeps showing up.

Joke keeps checking in.

Joke doesn't take Zo's silence as a rejection because he realizes Zo struggles to voice his feelings since he can't trust his feelings, but Joke follows up for his consent each time.

@stuffnonsenseandotherthings told us it's never been about food with them.

Because Puen made Zo doubt himself so much that he fought himself to the point of repression. Zo wasn't trying to quiet Joke's queerness; he was trying to convince himself that Joke wasn't gay. He was telling him it was all his imagination because Joke was simply being nice to him. He was telling him he didn't like Joke being nice to him because HE was getting it confused.

Zo knew who he was, yet Puen convinced him that was all a lie.

And I fucking hate him.

@bengiyo, add him to the list. He knew.

[noraigo]

there is something so precious and saddening with the way aziraphale touches crowley and the reason is really as simple as wanting to love like a human.

an angel, who has repressed his emotions and pleasures to serve God, ends up finding the desire to feel mundanity: from eating, oh those delicious meals, to craving the skin from his most loving sin crowley, so many decades, hundreds, thousands of years on earth and, what do these two find the most fascinating? exactly, human love. however, it seems that aziraphale has found something so enchanting about human touch.

that's why every time he finds a moment, he delights himself by touching crowley, caressing him, holding his hand and grabbing his shoulder. it's not a simple act of love, it's the fact that he recognises his deep love for crowley with those actions because, curiously, he doesn't touch nor lets him be touched by anyone else who is not crowley.

yet crowley seems to restrict himself from touching aziraphale because he knows what it could cause and always composes himself - which contrasts with aziraphale's character. even so, this doesn't happen with their dance. for the first time, he reciprocated that act of love to the point he ached for intertwining his fingers with aziraphale. however, what crowley didn't know is that he woke up on aziraphale a more carnal desire with that first and last kiss.

two acts of love melt at the same moment.

aziraphale could live being the one who started physical touch but, how is he supposed to continue with his existence knowing that he has tasted something more pleasurable, more intimate such as crowley's lips? feeling crowley's mouth on his in a desperate act to which aziraphale could only reciprocate back with poor attempts of slow caresses.

how is he supposed to be a supreme archangel if he can only think of crowley touching him for the first time in millions of years? if his fingertips unconsciously run his lips to recreate that kiss? is that the human love he always read in his books?

that's when he realized that human love is more than just a mere act. it's like the flames of hell took over aziraphale's holy self and burnt him with no pain because, definitely, there is no sweeter innocence than their sin.

if nothing lasts forever, then just touch me once more. kiss me once more so i don't forget how your skin had once felt on mine. just like real people do.

[sunnynwanda]

Something Blue

Warnings: I assume none, but if you notice something, let me know! Light angst romance, basically. Heavily based on/ inspired by VOILÀ - Something blue.

The wind is harsh against Villain’s face, prickling his skin with each cold blow. The crisp air bites into his lungs, filling them alongside the deep-settled tightness. When Villain reaches the central square, the sun is high in the sky, but the air lacks the warmth expected from a spring day. She hates it when the noons are this chilly.

The square is already full to the brim, a good half of the city there to witness Hero’s wedding. She’s always been a crowd favourite, and the groom being the mayor’s son only brought more publicity to the event. And Villain… Villain would never be good enough. He hisses at the annoying voice in the back of his head to quiet. The same voice that prompted him to leave before she could, to let her go before he got hurt. He takes in the grandeur of the cathedral, its enormous oak doors decorated with flower arrangements. It looks magnificent. She hates big weddings and magnolias.  

It doesn’t take much time to round the square and sneak into the cathedral through a back door. The reality of it all seems to hit Villain much harder once he steps inside. Coming here today was a bad idea. Villain’s fingers curl into fists, his breathing coming out in frantic huffs as he climbs the stairs. A part of him considers turning around right this instant, but he doesn’t allow himself to. Not today. He won’t be a coward again. 

He walks past several ajar doors before coming to a halt in front of the only closed one. With a deep breath, Villain pushes it open. Hero is standing in front of a full-length mirror, and she looks stunning. His breath hitches in his throat, every single thought leaving his mind the second his eyes lock onto her form. She doesn’t seem to notice him yet, so he shuts the door behind his back, careful not to make any noise as he steps closer. She keeps fidgeting with the hair framing her face in soft brown waves. She hates having her hair up.

Villain stops behind her, his mind racing. He rakes a hand through his hair, brushing the dark strands back from his forehead, and before his brain can comprehend what he’s doing, his arm wraps around her middle, pulling her back against his chest. 

“You look beautiful,” his voice murmurs against her ear. Hero shudders, her eyes flying up to meet his gaze through the mirror. Her lips press into a thin line. Don’t do this to me. Villain’s arm tightens around her. “Absolutely ravishing.”

“Don’t lie,” Hero leans back into him, allowing her head to rest against his shoulder. “White was never my colour. Good thing I don’t own this dress.” She shrugs, her tone a tad too impassive for his liking. 

Villain lets out a light chuckle, yet his sharp eyes remain pained. He wouldn’t give a damn what she wore if only it was him with her. “It’s something borrowed then?” 

“What?” Hero tilts her head to look at him, still wrapped in his arms. Her eyebrow raises quizzically, when he doesn’t loosen his hold. She hates the way his body fits against hers so well.   

“You know how that thing goes? Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” Villain lists, not registering when his thumb starts rubbing soothing circles into her forearm. 

She laughs, but it doesn’t reach her hazy brown eyes. Villain’s chest tightens as he watches her expression. He loved how her eyes would shine, and her nose would scrunch when she laughed with her full heart. How she laughed with him.

“I'm the old, and he's the new,” he explains, pausing to swallow the lump of emotions in his throat. “And since he gave you the borrowed dress, I figured it should be me that gives you something blue.”

Hero’s heart slams against her ribcage with a savage force. She wants to push him away, to yell at him, to demand for him to leave and never show his face again after how he abandoned her for idiotic reasons. Instead, her teeth sink into the inside of her cheek. “Oh?”

“Remember the time when I bought you a locket in the flea market?” Villain recalls, watching her breathing pattern go from frenzied to still. Hero goes rigid in his arms, her irises blown wide, not daring to take a breath in for fear of losing it entirely. “Where did it go?”

“I- I must have lost it,” her voice is small, words tumbling off her lips almost unconsciously. 

“Feels symbolic, don’t you think?” Villain’s hands leave her body as he pulls the locket with a blue stone embedded in its ornaments out of his pocket. He moves her hair to the side and fastens the clasp, his fingers brushing against the side of her neck in a tender touch. He gulps, his darkened eyes locking onto the reflection of her watering ones. “Like losing your love and having to watch it.”

He can’t stop himself as his head dips into the crook of her neck, eyebrows furrowing when his lips leave a lingering kiss against her bare shoulder, sending a chill of goosebumps along her spine. 

Hero lets out a shaky exhale, averting her eyes from the mirror. She hates that he is here. She hates that he’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt. She hates that he looks dashing, too. She hates how perfect they look together. She hates how he could… “It’s cold for a wedding, isn’t it?” 

Villain withdraws despite his reluctance, his fingers twitching to take hold of her again until he wraps his arm around her waist. “Are your feet getting cold?” He attempts to sound lighthearted, but the quiver of his voice gives it all away. 

Hero shakes her head, her dejected expression wrenching Villain’s heart in a way he didn’t think possible before. “They were never warm in the first place.” 

He doesn’t know how to take that. He doesn’t know how to take any of this anymore. It feels like the sky is shattering over his head, burying him alive.

“There's something I must confess,” Hero whispers as if saying it louder would mar the sanctity of the cathedral walls. She disentangles from Villain’s arms, stepping towards the door as Canon in D begins playing. “I wish it was you instead.”

She offers him one last glance before stepping out the door, a trembling hand clasped over her mouth to keep the sobs raking through her body from escaping. 

Her words echo in Villain’s mind like a tocsin as he rushes through the doors, only to catch a glimpse of her as she begins walking down the aisle. He walks in, remaining at the doors as she reaches the altar. He knows he should wait on the priest to give him the time to speak, but his stomach is in knots, adrenaline rushing through his blood like a fire ready to burn the damn church down.  

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today…

“To watch a big mistake,” Villain’s voice booms through the nave of the cathedral, reflecting off of the vault and spilling down onto the guests’ heads, which snap to stare at him as he steps forward. 

“I'm not gonna hold my peace,” Villain meets Hero’s tormented gaze, her throat closing in as she sees his face contorted in a mixture of pain and desperation. “I’m not gonna…” He pauses, his breath hitching when the flames reach his chest, burning a hole through his lungs. “What I mean to say is, my feelings haven't changed.” 

Hero’s blood runs cold. She’s frozen in place, watching him approach her with an unreadable expression while her groom growls something in her ear with a displeased expression. For better or for worse, Villain can’t hear what he’s saying to her. 

He knows coming here today was a bad idea. Watching Hero today was supposed to desecrate whatever was left of his heart, to wreck the shrine of her in his chest, to utterly and wholly rip him apart.

But...

But then she takes his hand, meeting his pleading gaze as tears brim her eyes. Villain brings her hand up, pressing it to his lips before pulling her towards him as they sprint down the aisle. He leads her out through the same back door he came through and along narrow sidestreets away from the crowded square. By the time her groom stops throwing a fit, Hero is in Villain’s car as he drives them out of the city, his hand still clutching hers tightly. He brings it up to his lips again, turning to look at Hero, cast in the afternoon sun. She looks otherworldly with her hair down, playing in the wind.

“White is absolutely your colour,” he mutters softly, his eyes darting down to his shirt on her, her dress left somewhere along the road.

Hero snorts, shaking her head as she shifts closer, leaning her head on his shoulder, her hand in his tight hold. He still can’t wrap his head around the events of the day, but he can lace his fingers through hers. He can kiss the tip of her nose and make her scrunch it as she giggles. He can kiss her smiling lips over and over again. He can pull her into his chest and hold her close to his heart.

Villain will be damned if he lets go again.

Masterlist

Taglist: @marvellousdaisy @alltimelowing @lateuplight @surplus-of-sarcasm @betwist @excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @enemies-to-idiots-to-lovers @miaowmelodie @thatonerandomauthor @hhabaddon @burningoutlikeicarus @daemonvatis @weepingcowboywolfbat @thelazywitchphotographer @kaiwewi @soul-of-a-local-bard @pigeonwhumps @aflyingsheepnamedrose @thatneptune @ohwellthatslifesstuff @worldsfromhoney @thiefofthecrowns @crow-with-a-typewriter @qualityrabbitsoup @stargeode @villain-life @villainsblood @whumpifi @glassthedumbass @silviathebard @misskowe @ayeshaturnedtoashes4444

[sharpesjoy]

We should have married.

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

Happy Birthday to the sweetest, kindest, strongest, most beautiful boy🥹

My blast of sunshine on a cold day. I love him so much. 😭

Also, Happy New Year, everyone ❤️

[prem-ium]

Watched the finale of Love for Love's Sake.

This show thanked me for caring about it, made me happy to be alive and then wished me happiness.

This is fucking delightful. I might cry.

[dreamer-oriented-express-1]

Me going to go rewatch Arcane just for Silco...😂

Also me...seeing Silco's death yet again:

🤣

[ireneaesthetic]

To make breakfast for simon will become one of wilhelm’s fav habits. it’ll also be part of the many reasons he loves being the one who wakes up first.

He’ll always take time during his morning routine to enjoy the sight of simon asleep, before getting out of bed, and to make sure breakfast is ready before he wakes up. for the oversleeping days he’ll put it on the nightstand instead, next to the cheesiest "you're beautiful when you sleep, i love you" type of good morning note, for them to be the very first things simon smells and sees when his eyes will open. because it feels like home.

[youchangedmedestiel]

Cas knows all the burdens Dean has to carry on his shoulders during his daily life. He sees that weight getting heavier and heavier and there is nothing he can do about it.

Sure, he tries to help. Sometimes he adds to that weight without wanting to, but he does the best he can to relieve Dean. That's why he accepted Crowley's deal to fight against Raphael. That's why he wanted to stay in Purgatory because he deserved it after he put this heavy weight that was his mistakes on Dean's shoulders. That's why he stole this grace and became an angel again, so that HE could solve the falling angels' issue, not Dean. That's why he tried to find Kelly Kline without Dean. That's why he never told Dean about the deal with the Empty.

That's why he never told Dean he loved him until it was the last option in order to save him from Billie. Because he wouldn't want to add his feelings for him to all the burdens he has to carry all the time on his shoulders.

He never wanted his love to be a weight on Dean.

[emilyisfictional]

AHSOKA SPOILERS

I'm so unnormal about Jacen Syndulla I started crying ( THE SHOULDER PAULDRON IM DECEASED). I'm so excited he's in the show and cast so perfectly.

[respectthepetty]

Hey. First, just wanna say that, just like you, I'm living for Dangerous Romance. With so many shows on the weekend, this is the one I look forward to the most. If I had the time I think I would gif the whole episode, cause their faces are giving me everything I need.

Anyway. I came here because I just wanted to talk about Kang. That boy is just so touch starved. And also starved for everything else. But that's a whole other story. His reaction both times that he was hugged by Sailom was of someone who doesn't know how to deal with that. Specially in the pool, his face, it's like it's the first time someone hugged him like that. He seems uncomfortable both times he gets hugged by him, not because he doesn't like it, but more because he's unfamiliar with the gesture. At least that is my read. What do you think? (thanks for the space)

@nothingsbetterthancoffee, I've been looking forward to 1) seeing Joke and Jeng cry all week in Hidden Agenda

2) getting to know why Top and Sand are the Taylor Swift and Katy Perry in Only Friends aka "Bad Blood"

and 3) Laws of Attraction healing what it broke so beautifully last week.

But above all else, I needed to know how A Sugar Daddy & His Baby The Series would handle Kanghan's shift from wanting to see Sailom beg at his feet by any means necessary to actually getting Sailom to beg at his feet and having no idea what to do with all those feelings™.

So I'm thrilled the show leaned into this starting with Kanghan yelling up at Sailom like every lovesick prince calling out to his lover.

Then we moved into Kanghan's facial journey going from smiling to contemplative as his friend explained "love tutoring."

Which caused Kanghan to awkwardly stare at Sailom while Sailom was focused on his work before he collected himself and approached his crush tutor.

Because as much as I'm with everyone else that Kanghan seeing the reality of Sailom's life snapped him out of his bullshit, I think the real kicker was all the feelings™ it brought up in Kanghan, and we see it happening here.

When in danger, Kanghan knows what to do - protect Sailom.

He threatens the gang members, he punches the tourist, and he grabs Sailom, with minimal hesitation if any.

Kanghan is an aggressive kid, so, in a sense, he knows how to deal with a threat because he has always been the threat.

But he has never known how to handle Sailom's responses because Sailom isn't a threat, or at least that's not what his head tells him.

The thing that most people are discussing is why Kanghan is so fearful of his father. Kanghan's grandma shows him affection. It seems like Kanghan's dad loves him and isn't abusive, so why the ominous music when the father is around? Why did Kanghan's entire demeanor change when his father walked in, both times.

And why was he so anxious? Why the father's response?

I, surprisingly, don't have any wild ass theories, but the show is telling us to watch the boys' hands, especially Kanghan's, because that is where the truth lies.

Strangely, Kanghan and Sailom have the same dynamic that Never Let Me Go's Palm and Nueng had, but for the opposite person. Nueng was the brain and rich. Palm was the body and poor. Here, we have Sailom who is the brain and poor, and Kanghan who is the body and rich, so Kanghan would struggle with English, while Sailom would thrive. It's words. But Kanghan knows what to do with his body.

Even the way he pushed Sailom in attempt to protect him was aggressive.

So what can he do with his body when it isn't needed to protect? What does he do with his body when he isn't the threat? What does he do with his body when it's Sailom holding him?

We saw this in the first episode. Kanghan doesn't know what to do.

I don't think he's touch-starved, but I do agree that it's unfamiliar. All roads lead to GayVille to me, so Kanghan's reactions seem more about feelings™ than anything else. Kanghan knows love. He knows touch. But when it comes to Sailom, he doesn't know how to respond because he doesn't know *this* feeling.

He is not a boy of words. He is not a brain.

He is a body that takes up space, even in his own house.

So these feelings™ that surface whenever Sailom is around are unfamiliar. When Sailom wouldn't acknowledge him, it pissed Kanghan off more. He needed Sailom to look at him because to Sailom, Kanghan isn't just a body taking up space.

To Sailom, Kanghan is a safe space.

And being someone else's safety instead of a threat, being a wanted space instead of useless space, being a body needed for comfort rather than protection . . .

That must be terrifying.

Mostly because he doesn't even know he wants it.

[icantdothistodaybruh]

Hello!! I just wanted to say that I discovered your tumblr a little while ago when i entered a kuro/sbcl brainrot waaaay before s4 announcement and your art is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. They're so tender and warm ??? Everytime you post I burst with joy!! Your last one is so stunning that I stared for like 10 minutes and was like "she did it again". I think you have no idea of how much feelings you put into your art and there's not words enough in the world to explain and my poor english helps even less, everything that I say is too little to transmit to you what exactly your art makes me feel but its special, so special. I hope you know that you have the power to move people and heal hearts bc thats what I feel everytime that I see them. You're an incredible artist and looks like an amazing person, I hope you always have a good day and a good life. Thank you so much for sharing your works <3

Hi!! Sorry for taking so long to reply, my mind went absolutely blank from all the compliments and I'm still not sure how to thank you enough for sending me this ask! I've read it about 732973 times already and every time it leaves me a sobbing mess, I can only hope to keep my work as beautiful and meaningful as it is in your eyes. I'm forever grateful to have followers such as yourself, thank you so, so much, I can't put my gratitude to you into words, your support means the literal world to me!!!

Большое вам спасибо💔

[unperceiveme]

[laurelwen]

Tom Sturridge in "No Quarter" (2013)

[unleashthelion]

okay so... rooster wears his dad hawaiian shirts, okay?

but can we talk about the aviators? is rooster also wearing the same one that goose used to wear? because they do look the same.