#I'M SORRY!!

[evanbukley]

usernelly » evanbukley » still tracking #usernelly

» still obsessed with buck, still a multifandom mess.

tagging some moots <3

@olismabel @eddiediaaz @paceyjoeys @tay-swifts @prettyboybuckley

@matbaynton @sadbeautifutragic @percysjakcson @margoterobbies @cinematicnomad

@jakeperalta @bilosan @buffysummers @chaoticroad @halsteadsass

@buckera @buckleydiaz @sab-carpenters @queerbuck @agenttommykinard

@annacolemans @rileykeouhg @bakerolivia @alkaysani @danystargaryens

@tommykinrd @rorygilmre @scottstiles @emilysbader @roseapothecary

@sophsun1 @s4buck @hollywedits @buckera @fabines

@rylivers @useragarfield @tvuniverse @housewifebuck @binariesuns

@peytonsawyers @skyhighrollins911 @rhaerhaenyra @mistchievous @liz-wes

@roseapothecary @dorkydiaz @sab-carpenters @matt-casey @bakerolivia

@grinsekatze @annacolemans @atwocd @evanzbuck

[ghoulishsweets]

Merry Christmas💚❤️💚❤️🎄🎄

I made cookies 🍪 🍪

And thank you very much for the cookies, they look delightful!

[little-pup-pip]

oh!!!!

I requested the deer board it turned out SO good! And I love! the crocheted toys so so much, I make amigurumi like that in my spare time! so I'm just. happy bouncing 😭

thank you again and have a good day!

I'm so happy you liked it!!

[cinematicnomad]

what are your favorite episodes of mad men?

oh ho, so you're out here asking the REAL questions!!

god this is hard. i just tried to go through the list of episodes and before i'd even finished scrolling through s2, i'd already jotted down 6 "favorite" episodes. it's just!! SUCH a good show, and the episodes really span the gamut of what tv can actually BE. like, there are episodes that come to mind for just how absolutely buckwild FUN they are (3.13 is basically a heist episode! don tricking roger into getting wasted and throwing up oysters in 1.07 makes me laugh EVERY time! watching everyone in the office get high and pull an all-weekender to win chevy in 6.08 is a blast!) but then there's the poignant episodes. the one's that fucking break me. the culmination of s1 resulting in don's nostalgia pitch in 1.13. the exploration of don and peggy's bond in the perfect 4.07. the end of lane's arc in 5.12 and all of the grief that follows. the moon landing and the way these people have all shaped each other being laid bare in 7.07. the end of it all in 7.14!! peggy's voice any time she chastised don: "that's not true."

that doesn't even get into, like, every time we got to see the office throw a big party and all the characters got to interact with each other. THE MOWER!! betty and don going to rome, their last perfect weekend together before reality crashed down on them. father gill trying and failing to "save" peggy through catholic guilt. megan trying to love a man who only loves the beginning of things (faye!!). joan fighting tooth and nail for every ounce of respect she built for herself. SALLY! EVERY MOMENT WITH SALLY! the tragedy of sal romano, his crush on ken cosgrove. MICHAEL GINSBERG and his friendship with peggy and stan!! anna draper who knew don's secret and loved him anyway. the entirety of peggy and pete's relationship, simmering in the background but forever informing their interactions.

i'm sorry i could keep going. i really do fucking love this show more than words can capture. i have to stop myself or else i'd just ramble forever.

[idontknowmyownmind]

RokCale // AlCale

Note: OG!Cale; Modern AU

Angst; love triangel (not really)

Childhood friend Rok Soo and Cale. They are friend since they were babies because their parents are close

Rok Soo always loves Cale and he acknowledge his feeling

He doesn't say 'I love you' but his actions do

Everyone know that Rok Soo loves Cale from his actions and words

Everyone think that Cale also loves Rok Soo with the way he acts around him (so different and warm)

Rok Soo lowkey think the same

Alberu is their friend since middle school

Alberu also loves Cale

In front of everyone, he act like he does but know his place and support Rok Soo

Cale loves Rok Soo. But it's a familial loves. He sees him as his brother

Cale also think that Rok Soo regard him as a brother

Cale loves Alberu and he doesn't hide it. He frankly tell Alberu that he loves him and loving him is enough, he doesn't need to return his feeling

They don't label their relationship but Alberu know that Cale loves him and Cale doesn't know that Alberu also loves him

It's kinda inspired by I May Be a Mob but Because My Favorite is Here, Everyday is Fun. Their relationship is kinda like Taiga and Mariko

They act normal in school, but without anyone know, they sometimes hang out outside, Cale often went to Alberu's apartment, and they call each other almost everyday

When the other see both of them outside school, no one think anything because it's common for friends to play together

But as time goes by, Rok Soo is suspicious

He try to find out what happen but doesn't want to push their boundaries

Alberu really become a cruel friend to Rok Soo here... for knowing his feeling but hide his 'relationship' with Cale...

One event let Rok Soo know that all this time Cale only see him as a brother

His heart breaking and it's hurt so much he feels like crying

Hut typical of him, he just endure it and send a smile toward Cale

He manage, but what actually break him is when he found out about what actually happens 'behind his back'

Rok Soo know that Alberu loves Cale, but he never thought that he will 'backstab' him like this

Rok Soo is furious and feels betrayed, but he can't actually blame anyone

It's his fault for mistaking Cale's feeling toward him

It's his fault for not seeing what clearly happening in front of his eyes

I'm tempted to hurt Rok Soo more by having their friends actually aware of Alberu and Cale's 'relationship' but I can't bring myself to hurt my boy any further....

ENDGAME ALCALE; ONE-SIDE ROKCALE 😭

[onboardsorasora]

❄️Enchanted AU: Christmas Part 23❄️

Welcome welcome welcome back!

A little housekeeping before we move on to the chapter: So, the next chapter falls on Christmas Day (its also a Christmas day chapter 🎉). Because it’s Christmas day, should I post the next chapter instead on Sunday/Christmas Eve, Monday/Christmas Day (as normal) or Tuesday/Boxing Day/Day After Christmas?

Please let me know! I can even do a poll if that would make things easier?

Part 1 | Christmas Part 1 | Last Chapter

Part 23/Christmas Part 10

“Uncle Daniel uncle Daniel! Look what mommy got me!” Issac yelled through his screen, the biggest brightest grin on his face as he showed his newest toy. Daniel grinned back at him, curled up on the floor against the far side of his bed underneath the lamp. It was past midnight and he was trying to be as quiet as possible while he video chatted with his family. It was Christmas morning for them and Issac always woke them early to open presents. Isabella was sleepy in her little chair, nomming on the ear of her new plushie.

Grace was already in the kitchen getting started on breakfast, Daniel felt like he could smell the familiar warm scent from all the way in Monaco.

“That's amazing Izzy!” Daniel’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. He missed his family, dearly. This was his first Christmas away from them. Even when he and Michael were dating, he had been able to visit for the holidays. 

Sophie and Vic have been amazing in trying to keep him busy and distracted. Asking him a lot about the stuff they did at home for Christmas. Today they tried to make a pavlova together and it went as awfully as everyone thought it would– but it was fun. And it soothed over a piece of Daniel’s heart that was fraying. He missed his mama and his sister, but Sophie and Vic were a good substitute for now.  

The boys also kept him from going stir crazy, Lio was attached to his hip and Luka trailed behind him with Sassy in tow. They made quite a bunch when they went to lay out on the patio. They’re also helping him to learn Dutch. Between the boys and the cats, Daniel felt like he could be babbling in Dutch in no time! He’d also been teaching the boys Italian, they were eager to learn and show off what they were saying to their parents.

Daniel knew when he went back home he would teach Isaac Dutch. 

That was another thing, he wanted to go back home– so badly. But he didn’t think he wanted to stay there. Not anymore. Not when– only if Max would want it.

He knew Max had a busy job, and wouldn’t be home a lot of the time. But Daniel figured he could maybe stay with the cats. So they weren’t always alone. He wanted to stay with Max, he wanted Max. But if Max didn’t want him, he was ok with staying for Jimmy and Sassy too.

He shook his head and refocused on the screen, Isaac was doing a count of all his gifts and talking to Grandpa Joe in the background. Daniel let their voices wash over him as he got lost in thought. He could already hear Michelle telling him to stop living his life for a man. 

That’s what got him into the mess with Micheal. He was too head over heels to take a step back and think. He'd wanted to be around Mike all the time and thought he wanted that too. Until too late when he realized he was afraid to go home because he didn’t want Mike to get mad at him. Afraid that Mike would know if he sang, because the animals would linger– so he stopped. Afraid of disappointing, being diasppointing.

He’s not head over heels for Max, he knows he’s not. But he wants to spend time with him here, in Monaco. Spend time with Charles and Lando and Alex and Lily. He has friends he made who aren’t his immediate family now, people who know what he is and like him for him! People who haven’t tried to use him for anything. They just want to spend time with him.

He wants to go home because his family is there, but he doesn’t want to stay because he’s growing a family here. 

He wanted Max and he wanted his Mama and Chelle. He can’t have everything, not in the way he truly wanted.

He thought of Max, his smile and how his face squishes when he laughs and his tongue sticks out a little bit. How his voice is raspier in the mornings and his lisp makes his words sound more Dutch than English. He thought of how sweet and caring Max is, how that tea blend he picked out tasted divine. How he’s been taking care of Daniel from the start even though he really didn’t have to. 

Daniel couldn’t imagine being stuck in Monaco having never met Max. 

Max was wonderful, the cats never lied once about him. He was fantastic and sweet and great and Daniel was in love with him. 

He let the thought roll around in his head as Isaac showed him all the decorations; where they hung the mistletoe this year now that Daniel wasn’t there to decide. Isaac told him how many times Nonna got caught under it and how many times she smacked Nonno away from her when he tried to kiss her.

Michelle took the phone shortly thereafter, she smiled at the distant look on her brother’s face.

“What are you thinking about so hard? Any more not-date dates with Max?” she teased, sipping from her teacup. Daniel scoffed.

“It wasn’t a date, Chellie!” he whisper-shouted, before switching languages. At least, if his sister was going to tease him, she could do it without anyone overhearing. He glanced over the bed quickly to make sure his door was closed, normally he left it open so the cats could roam, but he hadn’t wanted to accidentally wake anyone up with this call. He’d already told Sassy and Jimmy about it and they promised they weren’t upset.

“Sure sure!” she waved him off, “but you’re overthinking something, you have that look on your face.”

“I miss you guys.” Daniel mumbled, picking at the area rug below him.

“We miss you too lovebug.” Michelle said simply, and Daniel felt the first tear that rolled down his cheek.

“I miss you so much. And I want to be home so bad.” He scrubbed at his eyes while his voice wobbled, Michelle cooed at him from the other side of the phone and then Grace’s face slipped on screen.

“We miss you too baby, we miss you so much.” Grace gushed and Daniel shuddered a breath. “You’re thinking about a lot of things aren't you, my heart? What's on your mind?” Grace knew her baby, knew when he was overwhelmed. Knew when he was overthinking.

And it was like the dam burst, all the feelings Daniel had been bottling since he first came to Monaco came rushing out. He sobbed quietly into his elbow and his mother and sister looked on helplessly. Then everything came out as word vomit.

“I miss home, I miss everyone. I feel like I’m– I’m betraying you guys. I can’t– I shouldn’t. I’m so sorry. And he’ll never love me back! But I can stay here, and take care of the cats– it's the least I could do. He’s been taking care of me since I came, I’ve like done nothing to deserve–”

“Daniel, you don’t need to do anything to deserve love. You don’t need to be anything but yourself and I think he likes you for you.” Grace cut in swiftly before Daniel could venture down the path they took so long to take him from.

“Yeah, because I’m special.” Daniel pointed out with a pout.

“Special or not, he likes you for you.” Michelle used her mom voice and Daniel felt very mollified.

The phone was passed again and an older woman’s face filled the screen, Daniel choked back a gasp.

“My little Daniel. If he loves you, then he will show it. If he is showing it then it is simple. Now don’t cry my little love.”

“Nonna…” Daniel swallowed the lump in his throat as his grandmother continued to soothe him in her native tongue. 

“It's ok if you love him. You don’t have to tell him–” Grace started.

“You should!” Michelle butt in.

“Michelle stop.”

“But he loves Daniel too! They went on dates!” Michelle argued her case and Grace’s curious eyes found Daniel’s. He felt his face flame.

“He’s courting you, little love?” Nonna asked. Daniel shook his head, it wasn’t like that. Michelle was having none of it.

“They went to lunch when they were running errands the other day! They danced in the living room by the fireplace! And Max flew back and took care of him when he got sick–twice!” Michelle counted off on her hands, Daniel whined softly– she was such a snitch!

“Chelle it's not like that!” Daniel tried to plead his case, but the smug look on his mother’s face plus the soft look on his grandmother’s face told him he already lost.

“You don’t need to worry that he doesn’t love you my dear.” Grace said in the way she normally does when she’s decided she won an argument. Normally it's followed up with a pat on the shoulder or leg.

Grace and Nonna left the phone shortly after and then it was just Michelle and Daniel again. He could see the day getting brighter and hotter in her background, just like how he knew if he looked outside the mountains would be dark while the city would be gleaming with lights.

“Just because Micheal was shit, doesn’t mean they’ll all be shit.” Michelle said softly after a while, “Max is a good one. Didn’t Sassy say so?”

“She did.” Daniel confirmed, ducking his head again. He felt tired, exhausted. He’d gone through a gamut of emotions in a short space of time. But he felt better, his brain felt more settled and the warmth in his chest didn’t turn cold. 

He let the feeling settle in his chest and flow through his limbs. He felt more sure of himself, at least a little. He wanted to sing but knew it wasn’t the right time. He could sing tomorrow. 

He and Michelle hung up not too long after and Daniel settled into bed, pulling the duvet up under his chin. He stared at the wall in the dark, curled on his side.

He loved Max.

It was obvious now that he allowed himself to feel it. But that was as far as this would go, he didn’t want to chance… anything. Nothing needed to change. He’d tell Sassy and Jimmy maybe. But he wouldn’t tell Max. 

Max didn’t need to know.

He slipped off to sleep, curled into his empty sheets that smelled like Jimmy and Sassy. He woke late that morning to the cats curled around his shoulders.

Next Chapter

~*~

Decided to do a poll, please sound off!

[semperama]

18 for riccussell?

things you said when you were scared

It’s not like George thinks Daniel could fall in love with him.

They fool around, sure, but Daniel probably has a vast array of friends with benefits, and George has no clue—doesn’t want to know—where he ranks on the list. He’s not sure what particular circumstances must align for Daniel to pick up his phone and shoot off a text with a room number or an address. Maybe it’s the phase of the moon. Maybe it’s a mood—something that makes Daniel crave him the same way you might crave a taco or a bowl of spaghetti, not because it’s your favorite food, but just because it’s what you want that night.

They do hang out every now and then. Daniel knows the good restaurants, the chillest clubs. Sometimes George shows up to find himself one of a large group, but sometimes it’s just him and Daniel laughing at each other from opposite sides of a two-top table, their shins occasionally bumping underneath it.

And when they hook up, sometimes Daniel lingers. On one occasion they showered together, after, and Daniel kissed him under the spray, looked at him and said, “Your eyelashes are so long,” and then chuckled like it was a joke. Once they shared a bottle of champagne on a hotel balcony, George in his briefs, Daniel with a sheet wrapped around him like a toga. Once George even spent the whole night in Daniel’s room, woke up in the pale early morning to Daniel stirring, stretching, smiling at him.

It’s all those things, all those little moments, that make George wonder if—if maybe they’re not just hooking up. If maybe it is something more. Or it could be.

He hasn’t seen Daniel in months by the time they go to Miami, but it hasn’t stopped him from looking for Daniel in the paddock or listening for his goofy laugh. When he actually does hear the laugh and pokes his head out of the garage to see Daniel on the pit wall, talking to Horner, he has to bite his lip to keep from calling out.

The night after the race, he declines a few invitations to sit in his room and pretend not to stare at his phone.

His screen stays dark all night.

A few weeks later in Monaco, Daniel texts him the night before practice and asks him to come over. He’s only been to Daniel’s place once before, but he saved the address in his phone and doesn’t need to ask for it now.

“I’ve missed you,” he says when Daniel pulls him into a hug at the door. Embarrassing. Stupid. He should have said something meanly humorous instead—but then again, he could never pull that stuff off. It always comes out too transparent, too desperate.

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Daniel says, grinning wide as he steps backward to let George in. “I know the paddock is a lot less beautiful without me.”

“It really is.” If he says it emphatically enough, it might sound like a joke after all.

Daniel pours them both half a glass of red wine—all George can manage when he’ll be driving tomorrow, and even then he feels guilty as he takes the first sip. They drink it in Daniel’s kitchen, leaning against opposite sides of the counter. Daniel asks about how the car is doing, and George demures as much as he can, all too aware that their teams are actually enemies now.

When their glasses are empty, Daniel crosses into his space, rests his hands behind him on the counter to box him in. “Did you really miss me?” he asks, grinning. He’s so close his face goes blurry. George wants to touch him but doesn’t, not yet.

“No,” he says. He thinks the lie will make him feel less terrified, but it doesn’t. His heart is beating so hard he fears Daniel will be able to hear it when their mouths meet.

They make out against the counter until George’s back aches from where the counter digs into it, and then he pushes Daniel off of him, drops to his knees, and sucks him off slow and careful, trying to make it last. He always wants to make it better than the last time. Wants Daniel to remember it. Wants it to pop into his head at inconvenient times so he’ll reach for his phone, text George again, ask for him again.

“Fuck,” Daniel says when he comes, dragging the word out, the pads of his fingers digging into George’s skull. George wants to feel smug, but he can’t. Instead, he wonders if they should have moved to the bedroom. Or if he should have let Daniel fuck him. He wishes he could ask Daniel for an evaluation—What can I improve? How can I be better?

“You can stay, if you want,” Daniel says as he helps George to his feet, sweaty palm pressed to sweaty palm. He’s tucking himself back into his shorts with the other hand. “I can take you down to the track tomorrow.”

This is the part where George could say something. He could ask Daniel what they’re doing, what they are to each other. He could tell Daniel he really does miss him. He could say the churning need inside him eases a little when he has Daniel’s attention.

But there’s something about the casualness of Daniel’s grin, the way he runs his hand over his curls and straightens the hem of his shirt like he’s trying to get rid of the evidence. What if George is wrong? What if there’s nothing between them but sex? And what if it’s not even Daniel’s favorite sex? What if George is just…nothing. No one.

“No, I really should get back,” George says, already backing out of the kitchen. He never got off, but he’s already soft again. His skin is prickly with the fear that Daniel can read his mind. “I have to get up early.”

“I know,” Daniel says, chuckling, but he follows George to the door and doesn’t try to change his mind. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

George kisses him goodbye, on the corner of his mouth. For the next three days—after practice, after qualifying, after the race—he keeps his hand curled around his phone in his pocket, waiting for it to vibrate, but it never does.

It’s not like he thinks Daniel could love him, but he wishes he could at least be sure Daniel likes him.

[alasarys]

🎄🎄 This is delightful! Tagged by the lovely @20timesisay with a Christmas tree – mine's here if you'd like to add a decoration (and maybe a message!).

I've been so awol recently I don't know who's done this already, so this is a non-exhaustive list of people I'm grateful to know: @apeacebone, @foreversedici, @firemanseb, @opheliaoversteers, @goldenharbour, @francorchampignon, @elementalmoments, @librasuncharles, @prettydangrotten, @dottieapple, @p1tstop, @danielssmile

(I'm gonna go and find as many trees as I can to decorate now ⭐)

[fiona-fififi]

For the wip game, loud and/or green

Okay, I could not find either of these, and to be honest, I am very confused because I distinctly remember using the word "loud" yesterday when I was writing that, uh, thing we talked about. But it does not appear to be there, so I must have revised it out.

I'm sorry to disappoint. :( Might have to dig into some older wips—at the very least, "loud" has to be somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.

Fanfiction Work-In-Progress Guessing Game

[mychlapci]

sometimes people (rightfully) complain about transformers fans forcing the characters into like, nuclear family dynamics without considering what their concepts of maturity or family might actually look like in-universe, and i actually do share this pet-peeve from a broader perspective as a reader of transformers fanfic and consumer of other transformers art. but the problem is that i can't reblog that onto my transformers wifefication pregnancy&birth blog😭

[randomgirldraws]

So....my tumblr got deleted on accident....😬😮‍💨

Welp, I guess that means I can start fresh, I suppose?

I will be re-uploading all the art I had on here.

Same as before, here's my Instagram if yall want to check it out!

[laddertek]

very glad to find a tangtho blog in this trying everyone-basically-accepts-it-but-no-one-makes-content times xD

sdghfj THANK you.

listen I've been insane about them and their dynamic for YEARS now. they are just SO GOOD. and they just get better???? comfier more playful more bold more openly loving literally every day.

[heich0e]

If you ever tag me in a post and i don't interact with it i apologize, but a lot of the time i can't actually see it bc you may have also tagged/reblogged it from a user whose URL i have content filtered </3

[askmoondropxbunny]

I checked on twitter!

WHAT THE HELL MEW!!??? ಠಿ_ಠ

What!? that was a joke!!

[strywoven]

just a heads-up : i'm not doing well ( but we persist regardless ) ; there's a lot going on in my offline world atm that's weighing heavily on me so i'm not sure i'll be doing a whole lot until i get it sorted.

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world