#I'd give anything for him to come back from this like he was

[ztarvokwrites]

How the Monster Trio propose to you

a/n: HI SURPRISE I'M TURNING THESE HEADCANONS INTO A SERIES :3 literally loved writing the last batch of headcanons bc they were so cute so i decided to turn it into a little headcanon series <3 you're welcome! ALSO I LEARNT HOW TO DO GRADIENT TEXT HEHEHE

read part 1 here >> How the Cross Guild propose to you (+ Galdino)

not nsfw! only pure fluff and silliness up ahead!

enjoy and don't forget to reblog if you like it!

Monkey D. Luffy

If you think Luffy is capable of proposing in a nice, romantic way — then you're wrong.

He has no clue what he's doing but he's just gonna roll with it.

Begs Asks Nami to find a ring in one of her treasure boxes, to which she reluctantly agrees upon hearing his reasoning.

Literally proposes to you the same day, in the middle of a fight with some rookie pirates.

Just straight up grabs you and pulls you to him, protecting you as he asks the question and shoves the ring in your hand.

"Hey, wanna get married?"

You're stunned for a moment at his sheer audacity to propose like that during a battle, but the seriousness on his face gave you the impression that he wasn't kidding.

With a simple nod, you put the ring on your finger and continued fighting beside him.

The rest of the crew looked on, dumbfounded at the scene in front of them as Luffy sent the last pirate flying before turning to you and giving you the biggest, sloppiest kiss ever — dipping you in his arms for extra effect.

Brook was the only one to clap enthusiastically, followed by a very hesitant Jinbei.

Party celebration? Yep.

Roronoa Zoro

Again, if you think he's going to propose in a romantic way, you're wrong.

Laziest mf when it comes to proposing.

Gets lost when looking for a ring for you on the island you're currently docked at, returns with said ring like five hours later.

Pops the question in the middle of dinner, making Sanji choke on his food.

"Y/N, will you marry me?"

Just so bluntly asks it that you have to do a double-take as Sanji regains himself and yells at him.

"WHAT THE HELL, MOSSHEAD! YOU CAN'T JUST ASK THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER-"

"I'd love to, Zo." You put the ring on after Zoro slides it across the table.

Sanji is gobsmacked before letting out a shrill, "WHAT THE FUC-"

Zoro lets you watch him work out and also lets you bathe with him as a treat :)

Definitely litters your skin in love-bites though so be careful of what you wear because I feel like Nami and Robin will tease the shit out of you lmao.

Vinsmoke Sanji

By far the most romantic on the ship, right next to Robin and Jinbei.

After the crew has dinner, he takes you out to the lawn on the ship and makes you your favourite dessert, having Jinbei make sure that Luffy doesn't try stealing any of it.

Sets down a blanket and everything and just watches you with adoration in his eyes as you eat and talk your heart out.

He's quick to conversate, nodding along with what you're saying and chiming in from time to time.

As you two are cuddling together on the blanket, he suddenly gets on one knee in front of you and presents the ring with a soft smile on his face.

"We've been together for a while now and every day with you feels like a dream. I could go on and on with how much I love you, but we'd be here for years if I did," Sanji chuckles, making you giggle in return as tears prick your eyes, making him freeze up in concern. "O-Oh no, are you okay? I didn't say anything wrong, did I? Please don't cry-"

You shut him up by kissing him square on the lips, knocking him over onto is back.

He looked at you with hearts in his eyes as you pulled away, taking the ring with a flustered smile and slipping it onto your finger.

Que him fawning over you for a month straight, kissing you any chance he can get and annoying most of your crewmates.

Luffy and Brook find it hilarious while Robin finds it sweet, though.

starnote: my cough is getting better! i'm not hacking up a storm at night anymore, now i'm only coughing a teeny tiny bit :P

creds to @/saradika for the star divider!

[dark-and-kawaii]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Caught ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

✧˖°. Summary: You get caught riding the hellrider.

✧˖°. Content: NSFW - Creampie - Penis In Vag - Breeding - Giving Zevlor All The Love - Begging - Masturbation - Big Dick Zevy

✧˖°. Ship: Zevlor x F!Tav/Reader

Notes: I’ve had this idea for a while now that Aradin goes to confess his feelings to you only to find you straddling the hellspawn he loathes. Please enjoy xoxo

As you returned from the goblin camp a gentle breeze of the evening brushed through the grove, stirring the leaves as you stepped through the groves gate. Your return from the goblin camp was nothing short of a miracle, considering the dangers that lurked beyond the grove, so of course you came back with some injuries. It was inevitable considering there were so many beasts…

Your return from the goblin camp had been met with relief and concern from her the tieflings whom you aided. Zevlor, of course, had been among them. His features taut with guilt… It was he who had spoken so passionately of the need to clear the path to Baldur's Gate. It was he who had asked for help. The weight of his words are what made you jump into action, and now, the consequence of that decision marked your skin… His eyes never once leaving the bandages wrapped amongst your arm…

The evening soon began to buzz with low conversations and the evening songs of the cicadas. You scanned the grove for the commander you had grown fond of, eager to tell him of the battles you faced and how you were thankful to be able to return to him- erm to the grove… But Zevlor was nowhere to be found.

“Looking for Zevlor?” Tilly asked with a smile, but it soon faded into a frown,“He was looking for you, but he... he just left shortly after you returned. He seemed upset. Went out that way,” she said, pointing towards the woods that skirted the grove.

You looked back to her, then to the woods, then to her again, a look of confusion crossing your features, “Why would he-? Thank you Tilly, I appreciate you telling me where he went.”

Tilly smiled yet again, “I hope everything's alright. He's been so stressed out lately, he could use the company. Just... go easy on him, okay?” she gave a subtle wink before turning away to return to the others.

A blush spread across your cheeks, “I-i will.” Is all you could muster up as you left towards where she pointed.

It didn't take you long to find him, though you were sure he was purposely making it harder for anyone to find him. You could see the guilt in his face as he sat on a fallen tree trunk, his gaze set on the sunset.

“Zevlor? Why are you out here all alone?” Your voice was so soft, filled with concern as you approached the commander.

Zevlor's head sunk, his eyes never meeting yours, “I'm terribly sorry, Tav," he began, his voice thick with regret, “What happened to you today... I can't help but feel responsible. If I was stronger, if I wasn't so afraid to leave my people unprotected...”

You stepped forward, closing the distance between the two of you. Reaching out, your fingers gently tilting his chin so he had to look at you. “It's okay,”your eyes never leaving his, a small smile appearing on your lips, “You shouldn’t worry. I wanted to do this for your people… I wanted to do it for you.” Your thumb grazed along his bottom lip, his skin was warm beneath your fingertips, your other hand gently stroking the side of his face, your voice low and breathy, “I'd do anything for you... Zevlor”

You looked like a true goddess, the light of the setting sun illuminated your features, the breeze causing a few strands of your hair to come undone from the rest. Your hand was so soft against his cheek. Your lips were glossed, and those eyes of yours, by the gods they were so genuine and filled with a passion he hadn’t seen in a long time. He was drawn in, leaning into your touch, his lips parted as he spoke, “Tav... I- you-“

Cupping his face, “it’s okay,” you whispered softly before your lips met his.

…

Aradin had heard about your successful return, how you had managed to fight your way through the goblin camp. His heart swelled with relief and something else, something deeper that had been fermenting in the shadow of his thoughts for quite some time now since meeting you.

The adventurer sought you out, his eyes scanning the familiar hellspawn faces of the grove… Bloody horns were the reason you had returned with an injury. Their hell leader being the one that tricked you to do his dirty work for him…Aradin’s jaw tensed at the thought. He had heard about how Zevlor had sent you out on your own. He had heard how the commander had not even the slightest intention of joining you, and Aradin's blood boiled. Him and the other tieflings didn’t belong here, they were better off chained up and sent back to the hells of which they came.

“Bloody hellspawns, they shouldn't even be here, they're nothin but trouble." He muttered under his breath as his eyes scanned the grove once more, searching for you.

Nothing. You were nowhere to be found.

His anger was growing, his patience dwindling, when suddenly he realized that perhaps you left the grove again. The thought of you out there, in the danger of the forest alone, “hells…” he cursed before storming towards the woods.

Aradin didn’t have to venture too far outside the grove before he heard a scream, your scream to be exact. His feet moved quickly as his heart pounded, fearing the worst. Aradin's heart sank as he approached the source of the scream, he just now remembered that the damn hellspawn named Zevlor wasn’t in the grove either. Images of your bloody body on the ground next to the tielfing flooded his thoughts and in seconds he had his blade ready.

Rage fueled his movements, when suddenly, his eyes fell on you. There you were, in the arms of the one he loathed the most, Zevlor. The coward who didn't deserve someone like you.

You were straddling him, his ridged cock halfway buried inside you, your body glistening with sweat.

“Z~Zevlor~!” Your moans were soft, your back arched as you bounced on his cock, your fingers buried in the tieflings tussled hair, “fu-please! I- You~ s’big~”

The hellrider groaned, his claws digging into the plump flesh of your ass as he helped you ride his cock. Your name falling from his lips, “Tav-“ his hips snapping to meet yours, causing his thick length to bottom out.

“S’big~ s-so meaty~” you whimper, your pussy fluttering around his shaft, your body shivering in his grasp. The sight of the two of you like this had Aradin’s cock painfully hard. He could see everything, your slick arousal dripping down Zevlor's veiny cock, how your sloppy cunt gripped the hellrider’s cock as you lifted your hips… And oh how you looked so fucked out as your hair clung to your face.

“H-hells…," Zevlor moans, his chest rising and falling as he watches you pleasure yourself on his cock.

“Zev~ please~” You beg, your nails digging into his shoulder, your body aching for release, “I-I wanna cum!” Tearspricked the corners of your eyes as you cried out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix so good, “W-wan’ you~ cum n’side till’ preg-nant” you gasp, your thighs trembling.

Aradin couldn't help but stare at the way your juices squirted from your pussy, watching the way the slick pooled and clung to the tieflings sack. Fuck, he had never seen such a slutty cunt, nor had he ever imagined a woman, let alone you would crave the seed of a hellspawn.

He was torn.

Torn between the need to tear you off Zevlor and have his way with you, and the need to just fuck himself senseless at the sight of your debauchery.

“Fuck!” He growled, his hand palming his hardened length through his trousers, the need to pleasure himself becoming a priority.

Zevlor's breathing became heavier, “D-don’t say such thing- m-my dear-“ he lifted you up, your back hitting the forest floor softly. A small whimper leaving your lips as his cock left your cunt, his hands moving to the back of your knees, spreading you wide, before pressing his tip to your quivering hole, “an old soul such as me- would only dream of such a thing. T-this- I don't- deserve-“

Your hand reached up, cupping his face, a smile pulling at your swollen lips, "Y-you deserve it, d-deserve everything~” your leg slid up the side of his hip, hooking over his waist, the back of your ankle resting against his ass, your hand gripping one of his horns, pulling him down so that his lips were hovering over yours, “make me yours~” your voice was like silk, your eyes half lidded, a look of pure lust consuming you.

A groan rumbled in the back of his throat, “I can only pray you never grow tired of this worn tiefling,” his tongue snaking out to lick at his fangs, his body trembling. With a tender smile, his cock was pressing into you once more, his hips snapping, the entirety of his girth filling your pussy in a single thrust, a loud gasp leaving you.

“N-never~!”

Aradin bit his bottom lip, his cock aching in his hand, the sight before him had him panting, his eyes fixated on your face.

You threw your head back, mouth hanging open as Zevlor stretched you, his size was impressive. Despite riding him for what felt like hours your cunt still wasn’t adjusted to him. Your legs quivered, your back arched off the forest floor, your free hand gripping the dirt and leaves as the commander began pounding into your sloppy cunt. His tail wrapping around one of your legs, “you have such a sweet voice, moan for me again my dear.”

You obliged, “Don't stop~ Zev~lor~”

His grip tightening, his pace fast and relentless, just how you wanted it. Every snap of his hips drives his cock deeper, making your eyes roll back in your head and your body shake. Each time his thick veins and ridges rub over the over sensitive bundle of nerves within you, a wave of pleasure crashes over your mind, wiping out any coherent thoughts.

It felt like he was stirring up your insides, making a mess of your guts and marking you as his just as you begged.

“Cu-Cum~ n’side pwfh’lease!”

Aradin grunted, he could feel his own release building.

“O-Oh gods, Tav,” Zevlor moaned, his pace becoming sloppy, his balls tightening. The sight of you, a complete mess, begging for a him to fill you, it was almost enough to push him over the edge, until he saw your injured arm… “i- Tav- I can’t- I don-t deserv-“

Your body tensed, your cunt squeezing his cock, milking him for his seed, “I-I love you~”

Zevlor’s eyes widened, “Wh-what? T-Trul~ argh~!” his cock throbbing inside of you, his cum flooding your womb. Those words were all it took…

You trembled beneath him, your own climax washing over you, “love you Zevlor~!!!!

Aradin gasped, his seed spilling from his cock and into his hands and onto the forest flooring… He watched as the hellspawn kept himself from falling on top of you, his hands on either side of your head. His eyes shut tight as he continued to cum, his face a deeper red than normal, fangs bared, his hips slowly rocking. He watched as the tiefling’s spent cock slowly slipped from you, his seed leaking from your gaping hole. You looked absolutely spent, your skin slick with sweat, your chest rising and falling as you tried to catch your breath.

He could hear your whimpers, how you were begging the commander to not leave you, to hold you. How could he deny you such a thing? He watched as Zevlor pulled you into his lap, his tail wrapped around you protectively. The hellspawn held you close, his lips kissing along your face, whispering words Aradin couldn't make out, before his lips pressed to yours.

Aradin stood there, unable to move, his body weak from his release, his heart feeling heavy in his chest.

You were in love with a devil, and it was clear this devil wouldn’t let you go, spilling his seed into you till you were good and pregnant.

He watched as Zevlor and you buried your faces into one another, the way he was holding you so tenderly, the way his tail flicked every so often, the way you clung to him… Even if Aradin wanted to jump out and point his sword at the tiefling , there was no way in hells you’d allow it.

A bitter chuckle left him, before he turned and made his way back towards the grove, his hands covered in his seed. He couldn't help but feel like he had been the real fool this entire time, he was so sure he would be the one to claim your heart, not a cowardly hellspawn.

[fonksfvcks]

id be like slightly scared of letting idia eat me out because of his teeth like what if he bites me i dont wanna bleed when it aint shark week 😨

ahem, if you dont mind im gonna shift from idia to vil because i also stan that queen

what do you think vil's sex is like and his aftercare (hes probably really good with aftercare)

-idia simp anon but my signoff is now gonna be 🌹

also! if yr wondin i use xe/them, im agender :)

LMAO, i think idia would be hyper aware of it and even more anxious than you about it. i'd let him devour my pussy >:)

as far as vil?

i know this man gives the best hugs after he's done wrecking you. you'll be a mess, drool, tears, makeup smeared, lips puffy and swollen from biting at them, and he'll just hug you while you cry on his shoulder, trying to come down, and you'll instantly begin to feel whole again.

vil is the type to break you until you're feeling like nothing, and he would happily piece you back together. you know kintsugi where they take broken pottery and repair it and accentuate the old broken pieces with gold? he's the type to do that to you but physically and emotionally.

vil is so sweet, and i imagine he needs the aftercare just as much as you do. DOMS AND TOPS NEED AFTERCARE TOO. everything he does for you, he does for himself too. seeing you smile and cuddle into him while he gently wipes your face with a cloth to clean you up makes his heart melt, and he finds himself healing from going so rough on you. you're reassuring him just as much as he is you.

he's the type of man to clean you extensively, to pamper you, and rub your body with expensive lotions and oils after a bath, massaging your sore muscles and making you feel better.

he'll ask if you need anything, and regardless of your answer, he insists on a snack and water for both of you.

overall, i love vil, and vil would love you hard. every bit of his affection for you is in his touches, and he makes that very clear. he'd have a talk with you beforehand about your favorite aftercare, and do anything it takes to make sure you get exactly what you need.

also, i'm sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for so long, i hope you still love me, hehe

[theobsessedcookiefan]

I promised lol

:ﾟ･*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

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Part three. Investigation of a cookie.

"But that's not right!" One of the little ones was genuinely horrified by the story. "Yes! Aren't witches supposed to protect us?" Another asked in a trembling voice.

"Yes yes, that's what I'm getting at, now hush and pay attention." The old cookie said, continuing the story.

❀•°•═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════•°•❀

"O-Oh." Y/N muttered, taking a few steps back as she thought about what her teacher had told her. "Well.. I.. I have to study! Yeah, that, lots of homework and practice to achieve the love potion.... Good night." And with that the younger witch hurried out, heading up the stairs to her room.

Once inside she locked the door and left Blueberry Milk on the table, waiting for some sort of word from him while she made sure no one was spying on them. "Uh.. Are you okay?" He asked her with some concern, after all hearing that one of your creators didn't appreciate you and would eliminate you without a thought was.. Uh.. Discouraging to say the least, but he wouldn't let that happen so easily, he was going to protect his friends and himself from that fate, no matter the cost. "Ah! Yeah, I'm fine, I was just surprised that's all." Blueberry Milk said with a wave of his hand, downplaying the matter; he knew very well how to hide his true feelings for the sake of himself and others. "Are you sure?.. That's not very nice to hear.." Said the apprentice witch as she ducked her head, thinking about what they should do next. "Hey I think you should go, you're not safe here you know-" She continued to which the blue cookie quickly denied. "No! I need to find a way for our SoulJams not to merge with our body, if we find a way for that not to happen you can show it to your teacher and then they won't have to... You know-" He made a motion of squeezing something with his hand. Y/N doubted that, she wasn't exactly the best at magic, she was barely creating potions after all! But her friend was asking for her help, it would be cruel not to give it.

"This is a crazy plan." Y/N said as she walked down to the warehouse with a Blueberry Milk Cookie sitting on her shoulder. "Hey! I proposed that you come in during the day, not in the middle of the night!" The cookie replied, pointing to the moonlight coming in through a window. "Oh because clearly they would let me come in with you by my side right? I'd walk in greeting everyone and when they asked for you I'd say you were a hallucination of theirs, besides, I'm not allowed to be here, I'm barely a level two apprentice and this place is for level ten's!" She opened the door very carefully not to make any sound and entered, looking for the ingredients that his friend was telling him. "No, not that one, look for the one that says magically burnt. I think that one might work. Yes, that one, the one on top."

Once they had gathered everything they needed, they put it in the bag that the witch was carrying while she let out a sigh of relief, it had been easy! Now all that was left was to get out of the warehouse. "And how do you know what we needed?" She asked as she went up the stairs, being careful not to throw anything out of the bag and not to knock Blueberry Milk who was still on her shoulder. "Well, I previously told you: I am the virtue of knowledge! I know a thing or two about magic!" He sounded rather proud of himself so the apprentice just chuckled under her breath. "In that case you should teach me, don't you think?" Him? Teaching someone else?... He hadn't thought about it before, maybe he'd make a good teacher! Who knows, he might even like it.

Upon reaching the top floor Y/N noticed several students who while trying to sneak out of the tower had seen her going up. "Y/N, weren't you supposed to be one of the responsible students?" One of them asked mockingly, luckily it was dark so she was able to put Blueberry Milk in the bag with everything else, not without a small noise of surprise on his part of course. "Hey!" "A-Ah.. Yeah, well once a year doesn't hurt, besides this is for exams.... Yeah.. Exams." She muttered as she walked upstairs more quickly, hiding everything the bag had. Once in her room she padlocked the door shut again and for good measure put a chair blocking the door.

"Phew- that was close. Magic team does it again!" Y/N said as she placed the bag carefully on the table and opened it. "Are you okay in there? I think I hid you too quickly-" She apologized for that as the cookie came out with shaky steps. "Yes.. I forget that I weigh absolutely nothing to you- wait- magic team?" He said and sat down on a book, trying to recover a little from the dizziness caused by the sudden movement. "Yeah! We do magic and we're working together, magic team! And I'm really sorry- but I couldn't let them see you you know? Who knows what they would have done, they're pretty cruel when they want to be and I honestly wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

Hearing one of the beings you might consider divine to your species say that he cared about the welfare of someone so insignificant (from the cookie's point of view) was a bit odd and it made him avert his gaze with some embarrassment, shifting his feet a bit. "Well it's nice to know that at least someone of you do care.." The blue cookie shook his head and as best he could helped Y/N take the stuff out of the bag, once everything was out he remained thoughtful, how would he get it to his studio? Carrying it would be too much, they were giant bottles, too heavy to carry in one trip, ask the witch for help? Out of the question, the chaos it could cause at home would be disastrous, besides someone could follow her and give away the position to the teacher, he could stay to create what was needed right there but it would be too risky for him to disappear for so long, the only option would be to return home and instruct the apprentice by means of letters that a candy bird could carry. "Uhm.. Listen, I know I've asked a lot of you and you've risked too much for me but, could you perform the experiment?" That question to Blueberry Milk sounded like he was asking her to gouge her eye out or something. "Ah! Me?! Look, I really want to help you but- I couldn't, I can barely get the love potion to go to stage two, I don't think I can create the solution to the corruption of something as powerful as the Soul Jams-..." That was something he could understand, after all he himself doubted his own abilities sometimes and it would certainly be difficult. But here the difference would be that in this case he would be supporting him. "I'll show you how! I'll send you letters explaining everything in detail, you won't do it on your own! Besides you'll be able to do it, you have a great talent inside you, I can feel how the magic flows naturally in you, you just have to stop doubting so much. Magic is a type of art, you need to find your own style!" Those words came out with such sincerity and confidence that Y/N was inspired by that same feeling, could she do it? Of course she could! "All right! I'll do what you teach me, besides I wouldn't want anything to happen to you or your friends!"

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[hier--soir]

exit music

pre-outbreak tess servopoulos x f!reader

pairing: tess servopoulos x f!reader rating: mature, 18+ mdni summary: in late september, 2013, you drive home from an interstate trip, eager to reunite with tess and your son. warnings/tags: it's outbreak day in detroit, tess and reader are in a long-term relationship with a young child, cigarette smoking [r] [a/n: man i miss smoking menthols], major angst, descriptions of blood and injury, mention of a gun, SPOILERS-> infected child, imminent loss of a child, grief and dissociation, unhappy ending, inferred death of the reader. word count: 3.1k masterlist a/n: i wrote this months ago and it's inspired by the background story for tess' character that got scrapped for the show. i'm sorry, i just couldn't stop thinking about it so i banged an angsty one out. short and sharp aka ouch. anyways i haven't posted anything in months and just remembered this existed so thought i'd share follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing

It’s evening in late September, and Summer just won’t quit.

The thick, obtrusive heat swims in through the open window of your Ford Focus, dampening the leather steering wheel beneath your palms. It leaves the skin inside your elbows damp and turns the hair on your neck slick and curly beneath the collar of your shirt.

It’s pitch black out, only headlights and the dull yellow hum of a streetlamp lighting your surrounds.

Idling at a red, you glance at the blinking 11:57 on your dash and crank the window shut. Slip the phone from your pocket and dial the only number you know by heart.

She picks up on the second ring, just as you pull onto the interstate. “What time do you call this?”

A grin splits your face, teeth clacking in delight at the sound of that familiar husky voice.

“Hey pretty mama,” you whisper, voice low and longing. “I wake you?”

A sharp click sounds through the receiver; that shitty old lamp on your bedside being turned on.

“Hey, doll,” Tess softens. “Naw, how’s the drive? Tell me you aren’t far.”

“Drive’s killing me slowly,” you sigh, straightening in your seat. The phone stays balanced on your thigh, fingers hooked over the wheel. “But I just passed Paw Paw; pretty much a straight shot through now.”

“What’s that,” she says. You imagine her checking her watch. “Five hours you been driving already?”

“Something like that,” you tell her. “Stopped for dinner near Chicago. Fucked up the timing of it all.”

“It’s late, baby. You gotta be tired.” 

“Mhm, think I’ll pull over soon. Get some shut eye around Kalamazoo.”

A short huff of laughter bursts down the line. “Good old Kalamazoo. Sounds like a fucking hoot.”

When that beautiful sound dies down the sound of tires on road and wind against the hood rushes back in and you frown a little.

“Tell me about you day?” you ask softly.

“Well, your son’s giving me grief out here.”

“Oh, my son?”

“Yeah.” You can so easily picture the grin on her face; the glint in her eye as she teases you. You wish you were home, staring at it in person. “My kid’s a saint. Dunno who this little devil is.”

“Come on now.” You smile. “What’s he doing?”

“The kid won’t eat,” she groans. “Cooked his favourite, and he screamed my damn ear off still.”

“You do the potatoes how I do them?”

“I did my best, thank you, Martha Stewart.”  

You hum, fingers falling lax against the wheel. The 131 stretches out in a straight shot ahead, black bitumen and white lines lit up only by the high beams of your beat-up car.

Tess’ voice shifts lower, coarser around the edges as she breathes into the phone. “Think it’s too late to return him? Get our money back?”

A rough bark of laughter escapes you, and you welcome the warm swell in your chest. She laughs too, but the sound is a little choked. A long day, you can tell.

“What’d the day care say?”

“The usual,” she replies. “Said he was good, played well, napped well. Apparently, they had pancakes for lunch.”

“Pancakes,” you repeat wistfully. Your stomach pulls taut and hungry at the thought of sticky syrup and sweet buttermilk.  

“He misses you,” she says. “Keeps asking for you.”

“I’d hope so.” You pinch your cheek. Just a quick grab of flesh between thumb and middle finger, eyes watering at the shot of pain. It sharpens your senses. “Four days is a long time to be away from a parent. ‘Specially at his age.”

She goes quiet for a minute. You hear something soft, maybe the sheets rustling as she rolls over in bed. The low whir of a fan in the background.

“Can’t say I blame him,” Tess says finally. “Four days is long.”

An old road sign rushes forward to meet you, a blur of green as your car whips past. Kalamazoo: Next Exit. You flick the indicator on.

“I miss you too, baby,” you murmur. “Get some sleep, alright? I’m pulling over, need a few hours of shut eye, but I’ll be home by morning, you hear?” 

“I hear you.” Another soft click – the lamp turning off again.

“Hey, Tess?” you say quickly.

“Mm?”

“I love you.”

The line crackles a little, and her low voice fills the car one last time. “Hurry up and get home so you can say it to my face, doll.”

You wake with a jolt, sucking down deep lungful’s of hot air as your eyes roll and struggle to adjust to wakefulness again. The car still feels hot, parked in a six-space lot outside an old diner and a gas station. You fumble with the keys, pressing them into the ignition and cranking the window down as soon as the engine thrums to life.

Head lolled drowsily out the window, you gulp fresh air and catch your bearings. The blue numbers on the dash read 5:04, telling you that you slept longer than you meant to. And then blue, more blue, blue and red, red and blue. Flashing across the lot, shining through the passenger window.

The hairs on the back of your neck rise as you lean forward, struggling to see across the lot where the ambulance idles. The side door hangs open, a gaping mouth that reveals a brightly lit medical bay, and the lights atop it pulse in a never ending strobe. You can’t see anyone around. Not even inside the gas station, despite the rig being parked haphazardly by the entrance.

The diner to its left is much the same. The façade is all glass. Inside, a long white counter, linoleum tables, cherry red booths, a gaudy checked pattern on the wall. Not a soul in sight.

A grinning hamburger on the front door leers at you, with a speech bubble drawn from the lip of its mouth that reads You Hungry?

Still glancing around, your hand pats across the passenger seat and weasels its way into your bag. You pluck out a smoke and pinch the filter between your forefinger and thumb until you feel the little ball inside pop. Tuck it between your lips, only looking away for a second to light up, eyes already returning to the gas station by the time cool smoke hits the bottom of your lungs.

“Don’t think they’re comin’ back.”

You flinch, head snapping to the side to locate the origin of the voice. The cigarette tumbles from your lips but you pay it no mind.

The man sits on the curb, legs splayed out in a wide V as he sips a beer. Face gaunt, eyes sunken, he stares at you through the open window. The label on his Budweiser is damp with condensation, peeling off where his bony fingers have gripped it too tight. The sight of it makes any remaining saliva in your mouth dry up.

“What’s that?”

He jostles his beer in the direction of the ambulance. “They’re gone.”

“The paramedics?”

“Yeah, them.” He takes a sip. “And the boy.”

Something uncomfortable curls in your gut and you grip your seatbelt, dragging it across your body to click it into place. Slowly, so the man doesn’t notice. And then you wince, looking down to see the lit cigarette in your lap, burning a perfect little hole through your jeans.

“Fuck,” you whisper. Snatch it up quickly, fingers rubbing away the ash and the ache. Tuck it back in your mouth and take a quick, wary drag.

“Where’d they go?”

“Lord knows,” the man grumbles. He hisses between his teeth as he stands, knees popping as he takes a step towards your car. He adjusts his cap, revealing a flash of thinning white hair beneath. You rest a hand on the gear stick and try to remember if there’s still an old tennis racket on your backseat. “Where you live?”

“Not far.” Your voice cracks around the lie.

He stares for a moment, face placid. Unimpressed.

“S’funny,” he says. “No one livin’ not far sleeps in the middle of a lot in Kalamazoo.”

You take another drag and don’t respond, heart beating something fierce in your chest. The man seems to sense your reluctance, that spike of fear warming your blood, and he nods a little.

“Should get gone,” he warns you. “Somethin’ bad in the air tonight.”

“Yeah,” you respond, throat tight around the words, unsure of what exactly you’re agreeing to. “Okay.” 

He tilts the lip of his bottle towards you. “Got a spare?”

You pass a smoke through the window and tear out of the lot as he lights up, leaving blue and red behind in your rear-view mirror.

Tess doesn’t pick up when you call.

Not the first time, a few hundred metres down the road from the man and the flashing lights, when all you have is a half-smoked cigarette and a bad feeling.

Not the second time either, when you drive through Marshall and see a house on fire with the sun rising behind it turning the sky a deep heady red.

Not the third time or the fourth.

Not the fifth when you see those Detroit skyscrapers come into view, and there’s smoke billowing around them.

You lose count after that. Don’t know how many times you call, watching cars blur past yours, heading in the opposite direction. Don’t know what’s going on, don’t know what’s wrong, don’t know anything that will help quell this blistering panic that curdles in your veins. All you know is foot on the gas and that two hours feels like ten.

The battery on your phone is dead by the time you reach the suburbs, drained by fingers jamming against her contact over and over, persistent, unrelenting. Familiarity cloaks the car as you speed through the winding streets, but fails to offset the dread splashing its way up your chest, burning at the back of your throat.

The dash reads 7:49 when you shift the Focus into park halfway up the curb, leaving the door wide as you stagger out and up your own front lawn. If it weren’t for the roaring in your ears, you’d notice how quiet the street is; how eerie, caked in the early morning light. The Jacobsen’s front door is split open two houses down, hanging off its hinges, but you pay it no mind, fumbling for your keys.

“Tess?” Your voice wavers and you curse under your breath, jamming the key in the lock and twisting. “Tess!”

The house shakes with the force of the door slamming behind you. “Tess? Danny?”

No sign of them in the front room or the kitchen. Eyes hot and sharp now, you move down the hall, their names the only thing you can think to say. Over and over again, you call out for them, and when you reach the end of the hall, your stomach goes wet and watery.

“Tess.” You drop to your knees where she sits at the top of the stairs, head cradled in her hands.

With shaking fingers, you pry her palms from her face; tilt her trembling chin up so you can look into her eyes.

Her long locks are tied back, revealing a deep gash across her forehead. The edges of the cut have already begun to scab, but there’s red smeared across her browbone, down the thin bridge of her nose. She sniffles, jaw going tight, balking at the sight of you.

“Didn’t you hear me? I was calling yo—what are you doing back here?”

You glance down the stairs to the entrance of the basement. Door closed, as always.

Your heartbeat is deafening in your ears. So loud you almost miss it when she says your name, only noticing from the way her lips tilt and curve around the word as you look back at her.

“You’re here,” she’s saying. “You’re alive.”

Badoom boom, badoom boom. You can hardly hear her over the heavy beat of it.

“What?” you grimace, searching her face for some kind of explanation. “That’s not funny.”

“Had to…” she frowns back, hands trembling as she reaches out to touch your hip. “I had to do it, I’m sorry.”

It sharpens all of your senses, seeing her like this. Watching and listening as nonsense spills from her mouth; the love of your life, all apart on the floor of your home.

“Talk to me.” You cup her cheek, shaking her a little when her eyes stay dazed and foggy – like the lights are on but no one’s home. “Tess, hey, what happened? You’re bleeding.”

“Fell,” she mumbles.

You spare a glance and think you spy her blood a few stairs down—a little pool of it on the pale wood, like she laid there for a moment, stunned after colliding with the step.

And then there, by her side, you see the gun. The one she always kept locked in the safe in your shared bedroom, hidden away. The one only to be removed in case of emergencies.

You freeze, fingers stilling against her face. “You…? Babe, where’s Danny?”

“Danny?” she whispers, empty gaze shifting to something over your shoulder. Her face tightens. “Did you lock the door?”

“What?” You pant, face pinching in confusion. “Tess, you need to tell me what the fuck is going on. What happened to your face?”

“I don’t know.” She shakes her head and a lone tear spills past her waterline, rolling down just to spill into her mouth. “You have to lock the door, you need to—they’re gonna to get in here, they’re gonna find us—”

“Who?” You grip the back of her neck now, forcing her to look at you. “Honey, I can’t help unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

“They’re biting people,” she whispers then, and her eyes are wide, eyebrows pinched. A clammy sweat beads across her forehead, mixing with a fresh trickle of blood, and her eyes… those eyes you love, they look hollow. Sunken and lost. “Biting… eating them, I don’t know, I don’t know.”

“What?” Disbelief sharpens your voice. Badoom boom, badoom boom.

“I called an ambulance,” she continues, voice raising now. Loud enough to match that rough drum of blood rushing in your ears. So loud, it’s so loud. “But they wouldn’t come, baby, they wouldn’t come for him.”

“For…” No. Your chest feels tight. You aren’t sure if you’re breathing anymore as you stare, unblinking. Hardly feeling the tears that wet your own face, mirroring hers. “Tess, where’s Dan?”

There’s a beat, a long, lonely, pause, and then it’s like things shift into slow motion as she raises an unsteady hand and points toward the basement door. You move fast, turning to move, and her face crumples in on itself, spit pooling in the corners of her mouth as she says your name, grasping your hand to hold you still.

“No,” she pleads, voice rough and rasping, nails digging into the soft flesh of your forearm. “I had to, I had to do it, don’t you understand? You can’t go down there.”

“What the fuck are you saying?” You’re yelling now, fear turning you mean and rough, spittle flying, fingers tangling with hers, trying to pry her grip from your skin. 

But she doesn’t need to tell you. Because that rough drumming, that incessant roar of blood in your ears—it isn’t your heartbeat anymore.

No, you can see it now, the way the door shakes on its hinges.

The rhythmic pounding of a little body slamming against wood floats up to you on the landing. Relentless, like a song you’ve heard one too many times and have grown to hate. Badoom boom, badoom boom. And noises, ones you’ve never heard before but are sung in your little boy’s voice. Grunts and wails, high-pitched sounds that turn to screeches as they tear from his throat. Those thumps and cries blend together in your ears and your stomach drops, ass falling to the ground as you slump beside Tess, staring down.

“I had to do it,” she mumbles, repeating it like a mantra. The words blend with Danny’s symphony. “He wouldn’t stop, I had to, I had to, I had to, I couldn’t make him stop, I couldn’t do it.”

“What did you do?” You shout, voice fierce and tight now as you try to shake her off. “Tess—Tess, stop. Jesus, you’re acting fucking insane.”

“Baby, please—"

“He’s just a little boy,” you try to reason, jostling her away. “Listen to him, I-I need to see him.”

“Not you too,” she shakes her head and begs, mouth hung open, a gaping maw. “Please, baby, not you too.”

“Tess,” you whimper, pleading as you slide down to the next step. Her fingers twist in the collar of your shirt, and she’s crying. Desperately hoarse little cries like you’ve never heard her make before, but you don’t look back. Heart aching as you listen to your boy behind the door. “I just need to see him, wanna make sure he’s okay, I’ll be one minute, I’ll—I’ll be one minute. Don’t you hear him? He’s scared, baby, please, don’t you hear him? That’s our boy—”

“No it’s not,” she shrieks.

A siren begins to keen somewhere nearby, piercing enough to make you cringe, and Tess’ fingers loosen on your shirt.

“You can’t,” she sobs, fingers sliding down your sweaty back as you slink another step down. “Not you too, you can’t. Please, I had to, you can’t.”

But as you creep lower, and then lower again, you feel her fingers fall away. Her blood on the stairs soaks into your jeans, warm and thick, as you approach the door, and soon you can’t hear anything but that haunting medley of sounds. The door rattles, your boy screams, and the woman you love cries Not you too, I had to do it, you can’t, I had to, I had to, I had to.

It’s all you can hear.

Badoom boom as you flip the lock.

Please don’t as you grip the handle. I had to.

It floods your ears; the click of the safety on her gun as the door cracks open, and Tess crying as you collide with your little boy, cradling his face against your neck and trying to calm the odd way his little limbs trash against your body. You open your mouth to soothe him, and hardly feel the blur of his mouth on your skin.

thank you for reading, feels weird but nice to post some writing again after so many months x

[jacksprostate]

Tyler always liked to pull shit at night. Maybe that's why I went along with it, when he showed up after a month of leaving Paper Street and all its monkeys and me without an owner. Tyler always liked to pull shit at night, so I had become habituated, and when Tyler showed up on a sunny afternoon Sunday with a pickaxe slung long over his shoulder, I didn't interrogate him on where he'd been. Why he left. I didn't want to break the perfect image of his return, and if I'm honest, asking what we were going to be doing as he led me out of the house never crossed my mind.

I usually didn't ask Tyler why we were going to do anything, so maybe that was habituated into me, too.

The reason Tyler came back, I found out, was to tell me I was hopeless. That I was a piece of shit, that I'd never amount to anything, that he had the lowest of expectations and I still couldn't pass muster. He said this as we walked. The voice of my father, all the shit he never outright said.

I told Tyler, What did you expect? You left me.

Maybe I whined it, I don't know. I didn't know what he wanted from me. I still don't.

Tyler said, "I leave for one moment, push baby out the nest, and you crumple. You're a plucked stool-looking pigeon splat on city concrete. You're the roadkill you see on the side of the road, so useless even the vultures ignore you. You regressed."

Where are we going, Tyler? I asked. We were down the road by then, far enough that the space monkeys maintaining the front lawn couldn't see or hear us. I guess Tyler respected me enough to make my discipline private.

Tyler ignored me, as usual, and continued. "I give you one chance to do anything on your own, and you do nothing. You go to work. You go to fight club like it's work, like it's one of your pointless little groups. Like it's hospice. You're so dependent you hang on your own men hoping they'll tell you what to do. I come back and you're wasting away reading Reader's Digest as all the shit I've built for you works its wonders, and you don't even try to join in directing it."

Now, You didn't give me orders, I said. You didn't tell me my part in this, what was I supposed to do?

Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Do you think you're too good for it? You need your own hand delivered invitation?"

No, I said. Spluttering.

"You had your invitation to join. All you needed to do was anything."

Now here we are. In the middle of the street. If I knew I'd failed all his little tests, maybe I would've said no when he showed back up. I want to laugh at the idea of it, but I'm too busy trying to figure out what my punishment will be.

Tyler lets the pickaxe fall. The noise it makes hitting the asphalt clatters between the warehouses. We're past the paper mill now, and the scent of wood shavings and cancer and ass has been replaced by rot and puke. Off of Paper Street lives a processing plant for all the unloved rejects of the supermarket. Recalled, expired, unneeded. Working a place like this, you lose your sense of smell in days. The hairs in your nose fall out and your tongue turns black. Eggs three months old. Fruit like black leather. Baked goods more mold than wheat. They grind it up and feed it down the drains. Sometimes, when there's a storm so big it floods the entire basement, noxious sludge escapes the toilet and sinks at the house. All the colors of the rainbow, consistency somewhere between cottage cheese and blended rotten meat.

For a moment, I stare transfixed as Tyler rolls his shoulders, sweat glistening on them like the first day I ever saw him.

He says, "Take a step back."

I do.

Tyler flips the pickaxe point-down, leverages it into a hole on the manhole cover I'd been standing on, and pulls it out and to the side in one smooth move. Fight club has always been better than the gym.

Looking down, the stench makes the air wave like heat. There's a rusted ladder half broken on the side of the hole. About eight feet down lies everything which should be getting shipped to a biodigester, couched in human shit and vomit and whatever else the processing plant produces.

Suddenly, I realize the disease that's everywhere now may be the least of my concerns. Tyler's hand is on my shoulder.

Tyler says, "Consider it a more direct test of faith."

When Tyler pushes me, it's not that I didn't know it was going to happen. I did. As soon as he opened up the manhole, I knew what was going to happen. I didn't run. I knew I couldn't. I braced myself and fell flat over the hole, and I felt what had to be one of my vertebrae crack. I felt the road eat at my arms and face.

"You think you're shit, you want to rot away," Tyler says. He circles me. I reach out to crawl away, he steps on my hand. "Fine. Rot with everything else."

He kicks at my side. My kidneys. My stomach. My ribs. I'm curling in on myself before I know it, my spine is screaming. I am screaming. I'm curling up, fetal, drooping into oppressive warmth. Back to the womb.

A moment of vertigo, and I've fallen out of the nest for real. Baby bird, splat in the sewers.

I am filth.

I can feel chunks between my fingers.

I fell, and the top of my head ricocheted. I'm used to it ringing. My blood drips in my hair along with something else.

A film is crawling over me. It's hard to breathe. The air hurts. I'm retching, I'm contributing.

I look up, and Tyler is there. Total eclipse of the sun.

He says, "Crawl out yourself. I'm done fixing things for you."

I can't see his face. I'm getting every disease on the planet, and it's a warm sunny day.

He says, "You have all the chances. It's about time you take them."

[flightfoot]

Ur a pretty fair voice in my opinion when it comes to the whole mess in miraculous. Would you mind telling me what your favorite things are about Marinettes appreciation of Chat Noir in Canon? Not fanon, CANON.

I'm still grieving LadyNoir and recently I'm feelin very down in life in general and now I don't have my comfort show and ship anymore the way I used to love them for.

The way Marinette treats Chat Noir in and outta her transformation never stops hurting my poor broken LadyNoir heart n as much as I wished I could love the potential of her love for him as I once did, it just feels so paper thin and shallow to me now after everythin this show did.

The show is clearly trying to have her feelings for him be smth now, but for me it never seems to go beyond her infamous vague heart eyes the show likes to hav her throw around for damage control & surface level appreciation of his presence when she has to. But if you'd tell me that she still has no real feelings for him, I would believe u, cause he as a person doesn't truly matter at any given moment her words have to MEAN something more than a vague "<3" she's never asked to back up with anything worthwhile (srry, I know you've heard that complaint a million times before. It's at least comforting to know that others feel the same)

Wasn even her taking any interest in Chat for his person in the first quarter of season 5 only caused by Marinette wantin to proof Alya wrong and that her love for him instead of Adrien is real and valid? That's so disheartening...

Going through the tags isnt helping either, cuz most i find it is either much more fanon than Canon, or it's in line with Chat prrty much being her servant now instead of her finally giving care back

Idk, I hope I'm not bein too much of a downer. So imma get back to my question now. Maybe u can help me see Canon in better light again.

Could you tell me what you like most bout Marinettes and Ladybug's connection with Chat Noir? Things she does for him, what she values in him and so on and so forth?

I like the times we see her getting upset when Chat's hurt, or when she comforts him when he's clearly not feeling good. I adored how angry and upset she got in Timebreaker when Chat was "killed" in front of her for the first time, how she suddenly became more vicious. She doesn't want to lose him.

Or like, for times when she's comforted Chat, I adore how calmly and patiently she spoke to Chat in Reverser, after his courage was taken away, how she gently coaxed him where he needed to go. I took great solace in that, the first time I rewatched that episode, since I'd been exposed to a lot of Saltinette at the time, and I needed the reminder that Marinette does, in fact, care about people, even when it's inconvenient.

While I wish that Marinette had really thought through Chat's potential reaction to someone new showing up with her Miraculous without warning, I DID love that Marinette had this long list of protips. I especially liked this one:

Marinette: (v.o) Protip 33: When Cat Noir tells a joke, try to laugh at it even if it isn't funny. It makes him happy.

Even in episodes where I have a problem with the way Marinette conceives of Chat Noir, I generally still like elements of it. Like even in Ephemeral, while I think it was very, very wrong for her to try to trick Chat the way she did, she WAS doing it because she didn't want to risk Su-Han taking Chat's Miraculous from him. Or in Kuro Neko, when she didn't want to give the miraculous back to Plagg to give to Chat Noir, because she was afraid they'd end up back in this same situation, and she didn't want to keep hurting him.

At her core, Marinette cares about Chat's feelings and wants him to feel good, to be happy. The issue comes from her not seeing things from his perspective, from being terrible at reading him. Marinette has a lot of compassion towards Chat Noir, she just doesn't understand him.

[yowyowyaoi]

Hidan's Daily Texts from the Akatsuki, Part Two

From Konan

Why would it gross you out? You basically deal with blood for a living!

Flattery might get you a hug but it won't get you out of your share of the food bill.

In all seriousness that's ridiculous.

Just pretend he’s Kakuzu. Problem solved.

You guys need to keep it down. I need my beauty sleep!

Sasori has a variety of things he could give you to ease the pain. But be warned he’ll likely give you a three hour lecture on “proper dental hygiene”.

I'm sure he just meant it as a joke. No need to eviscerate him.

I need that like I need a hole in my head.

Love is not about looks, it's about feelings and personality. He's the kindest, most gentle man I've ever known in my life.

If you're that curious, just transform into one and feel them yourself!

He doesn't take betrayal very well. I'd strongly reconsider if I were you.

Being immortal is a hell of a thing to have in common, isn't it?

I wish you and Dei would leave him be. Just because he *chooses* not to fight back doesn't mean he can't, or won't at some point. And I think that will be a scary day for the two of you.

Ladies don't curse but if you heard even half of what I was thinking it'd blow your mind, Hidan.

From Itachi

Looks mean very little to me.

If you're that interested in seeing them, then just ask him to pull down his pants for you the next time you see him. See what he says.

A compliment coming from you sounds very, very odd.

I would not just leave something like that to chance and never, ever to the two of you.

We're close. That's all you need to know.

I'll admit, the honey and ants in my bed was a clever, if sadistic, touch.

You've got ten minutes to return it to my door or I promise your eternity will be one long inescapable nightmare.

No.

The last time I went with you guys you ate $1000 worth of food and then tried to stick me with the bill!

If you'd just admit it I'd be willing to go easy on you.

Of course he's an attractive man but I couldn't deal with that personality on a daily basis.

In that way I'm better than you, aren't I? You clearly fear death. I don't.

If my opinion counts for anything: hold on to Kakuzu. I don't believe there's a single other soul in this universe that would care for you the way he does.

I suppose not all the time. He does brush my hair out for me a lot. Very gentle.

From Tobi

If it isn't something that could work, why would it be the plot to SO MANY homoerotic stories??

You left it sitting there for three days! If I didn't eat it, it would have spoiled!

Just woke up not in the mood for your shit rn

If he thinks you're like a brother than one day me and you can be in-laws!

You didn't even spell "delusional" right.

Are you the one who left the jar of crickets on my bed?

Actually your hair would probably look good longer.

You're not going to lecture ME on something like that!

I think of him like a little cousin. So STOP messing with him!

If you think Kakuzu looks "sexy" without his mask you couldn't handle ME, man.

Come with us, the water should be fine by now.

The Hidden Leaf? Nope. Never heard of it.

Sharingan?? LOL

Be warned, Hidan. I'm not as stupid as you think I am.

Do YOU want to see my FIST? Okay then.

So is "Jashin" just looking the other way while you love Kakuzu, then?

From Nagato

I think of you all as my children. Some more problematic than others.

Yes it works! And even if it didn't, she wouldn't leave me!

I almost teamed you up with Deidara but I don't think I could have afforded that sort of damage.

Ultimately that would be Kakuzu's decision.

Tell your God to meet up with me and we'll see who's more "real", brat.

What. Did. You. DO?!

If I hear that you "accidentally" walked in while she was changing again, you'll wish to the heavens that you WERE able to die.

Yes but a mostly vegetarian diet is easier for my body to handle.

I did not form these teams with the intention of being a matchmaker.

I wish you would put as much effort and planning into your missions as you do to harassing your fellow Akatsuki teammates.

From Deidara

Yes I blew him up but I didn't rob him. Standards, man.

Me and Kisame going fishing, you in?

Come see me we gotta get our stories straight before Leader questions us.

He stepped on a beehive. Spent all day pulling stingers from his arms and legs. STILL wouldn't take off his mask.

I knoooooow. God you sound like Sasori.

I did but I don't think they can prove that it was me ...

You can't just sculp some little mouse and then call yourself an artist! It doesn't work like that!

I think the chicken was bad I can't stop puking and my ass is literally on fire!

If you won't listen to me talk about my REAL art, what makes you think I'm gonna listen to you talk about your FAKE God??

Me and you and Itachi. Yes he'll go if we drag him out.

Yeah but she's sooooooo pretty how can I help it?!

Why are you bragging? That just means you'll be old and ugly before me!

Honestly I just bring him a body and some tools and he stays distracted for like a week. Lets me do whatever without even questioning it lmao

He likes to carry me. Don't ask questions, I just enjoy not having to walk for a few hours.

I really, REALLY don't need to know what "gets you off". Pervert.

From Kisame

I have no idea how to answer something like that.

I don't know what's going on with you and Kakuzu but please stop "accidentally" sending me pics like that or I'm blocking you.

I'd die for him but all I really want is for him to live for me.

I think we're the only two who like it ultra-rare and dripping blood. Well, maybe Zetsu.

Yeah I have my suspicions as well but it's like that thing is glued to his face or something. Deidara is the only one who could get close enough to him to try it but he seems scared for some reason.

You can join us but no screaming in the water this time or you'll scare them all off.

I've got at least 11 years up on you so yes, you ARE a brat to me.

I don't think there are any decent shortcuts, we just have to walk straight through. Ask Kakuzu to lend you his tall boots.

There's doing our job and then there's crossing the line. Guess which one you did.

Yes it's warm but that doesn't mean we wish to see you sitting out there in the nude.

Itachi's not feeling well so I need a replacement weight for my other arm. Deidara is already helping, now I need you too.

In the old days they used leeches as a cure for everything. A few aren't gonna kill ya, kid. Don't be a baby.

He's literally perfect. And he's MINE. So onsen or not the next time I catch you looking like that I'll snatch your eyes out and eat them like grapes :)

From Sasori

Come see me before the infection spreads.

Mint, rosemary, and a tiny bit of thyme.

Unless you’re looking to get bent over, brat, how it works is none of your goddamned business.

You would likely be a terrible one.

No, he’s it for me. I’ll either marry him or kill him, haven’t decided yet.

I can imitate eating to fool enemies but the food will just stay in my throat until I manually remove it.

You kill humans nearly every day, you can handle a spider.

It would break my metaphorical heart.

I’m not “betting” you anything. I KNOW it won’t kill you. But the poison is both expensive and time-consuming to make and I’m not wasting it on you.

18 and 34.

Leave the ones that I’ve marked alone. They’re perfect specimens and I won’t have you ruin them with that heathen ritual of yours.

Yes but I’m slowly coming to accept that sexuality is a spectrum and nothing is black or white.

You and Tobi will be coming with. Pack extra food and warm clothes. No whining that you’re hungry or cold later on.

It won’t be as amusing when I nail your skull to the wall.

From Zetsu

He tasted so good. My many thanks.

I haven’t any idea why the others seem so perturbed by it, considering their *own* “atrocities".

Too loud. Sensitive ears.

Aren't you having relations with him? Surely you could convince him.

Unfortunately we need them alive and well, so please, none of your antics.

Couldn't hurt. But I doubt it would help, either.

Out of everyone here, you and your blood-scented skin smell the best.

I'm beginning to think your obsession with penises is more than a passing curiosity and an indication for serious concern.

Deidara is correct, everything is ephemeral. This world is temporary.

I wouldn't know the first thing about manipulating anyone. I'm just a plant.

From Kakuzu

Try me and see. I DARE you, brat.

Either help me or stay home and shut up about it.

You stimulate me, but not in all good ways.

If I wasn't "obsessed with money" this entire organization would be nothing, we'd be homeless and everyone would be starving.

Just wait until I get you alone.

Next time I suggest you think before you act.

Deidara will face Sasori but YOU will have to deal with ME. Consider that.

It's your turn to pay for dinner. I could go for either seafood or steak.

Call it gay if you wish but you won't change my mind.

I'm not sure if your body could handle multiple hearts, immortal or not.

Endurance training. My room. Ten minutes. Hydrate yourself beforehand.

You're going to eat something green if I have to pry open your mouth and shove it down your throat.

Because I CARE, asshole.

Why should I have to fight them off because you can't keep your hands to yourself??

I happen to like Itachi so watch your manners, if any exist.

Can't "believe" in someone I've never met. Which is why I don't understand why YOU do.

If I ever went, I'm taking you out with me. "'Til death" is inaccurate.

Sure, sure. While you're at it pray for money to drop out of the sky and into my lap.

Handcuffs aren't doing it for me anymore. Bring some rope and maybe some honey this time.

Get back here and clean this shit up before I come kill you.

Love you. <3. Delete this text immediately.

[ikram1909]

Rodri gave an interview to AS and he talked about Gavi ☹️

[anonymusbosch]

sometimes i feel like extending the kindness you can, when you can, is the only thing there is

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

I mean I'm not goin back to him I'm not(!!!) but at this point I got no idea why

Literally just screaming into the fucking void

He already broke me to the point where all the shit he's said are my only core beliefs n even if I try to shut down the voice in my head repeatin it all I still believe every damn word

So no matter how long I cut him off for it's always there just the same. But no one else can always be there to make it go away. W/ him I at least go from a total waste of oxygen to the one thing I'll ever be any good for. It's an upgrade I can almost live with.

So what's the point? What do I or anyone gain from me stayin away?

I've been tryin so fucking hard n it's just not getting any easier. I don't know where to put all this fucking self loathing, I can't keep pouring it onto other people. I always need to keep so damn much inside n some of it still spills out n that's already bordering on too much. I don't wanna be a burden. I know everyone is, to some extent, but not like this. Not all the time. Plus they have something to give in return, I only have things no one else wants, just Val's happy to take em if offered.

I still feel the pull all the fucking time. It's like the chain he used to have around my neck but I know he's not doin the pulling, he doesn't care if he has me or not anymore. It's all me now. I'm the one who keeps wanting to go back. The rational part of me is screaming no cause I know he'll just hurt me n find new ways to cut even deeper but. What's left that he hasn't already done?

Maybe this time he'll make the feelings n the noise go away. Maybe this time he'll make it all quiet.

[britneyshakespeare]

re: my last post rambling about my siblings: i also realize of course that not everyone who has siblings has as good a relationship to them as i do, and that can be for any number of reasons, can have any number of resolutions, including just begrudgingly accepting that your sibling(s) are never gonna be the closest people in your life. i talked about how the bond i have with mine is akin to a commitment, because all of us prioritize each other, but i don't mean to make it sound idyllic or like it should be the universal standard. i am lucky but i am not naive. not everyone gets the siblings they would most wish to have, or some people just aren't that close to them and i don't particularly have a blanket judgment to make of that in all cases. however...

that guy i made a bunch of personal posts over the summer about because he was an emotionally abusive friend that i had to cut off, who asserted way too much control over my life, who was guilt-tripping and manipulative and sought to silence me etc etc etc he really was just never very accepting of me for who i was, never expressed interest in anything about me that didn't have to do with him, etc etc etc just that JERK guy who i still have nightmares about a few times a month. it took me a long time to accept that he wasn't just "depressed" and "anxious" but that he was actively using people; he wasn't accepting of harmony but always wanted control over others and their narratives, etc etc etc. there were certain sides of him i didn't see much because i got to know him in a rather isolated way. we had mutual contacts but i never worked with him or had a class with him or really even met him a few times before he started spilling his heart and soul to me privately and said i'm his best friend and i'm the only one who understands and supports him and basically pressured me to make him my project 24/7 and was incredibly disrespectful towards me whenever i asserted my own independence from him or just. wanted to see someone other than him or even just wanted to be by MYSELF. jesus. what a nightmare that guy was. IS, because i know he can't have changed and he probably never will.

THAT guy has a sibling. he has a little brother four years younger than him, and that guy was about two years younger than me. so his brother turned 18 this year. he graduated from high school. his brother is YOUNG, all things considered. and as much as he would constantly pour his heart out and gripe about every person he ever came into contact with (and as much as i now distrust a lot of the information he told me because i know he'll only ever say flattering things about himself and never speak forgivingly or with any nuance towards someone he labels now as "bad", including me)... the only time that i didn't really know how to listen with as open a heart was when he would start talking about how awful his little brother is. i'd be like, ok, so you had terrible friends in high school. all the people in your classes are shitty to you. this person has done you wrong and this person is awful and your parents and your family suck and this and that and this. no one has ever been good to you in your entire life except me? ok.

the ONLY time i was like "i don't know if i can take this at face value, i think you're being too harsh..." is when he would talk about his little brother. because i was like, well, from everything you're telling me, his problems sound like something he can very well grow out of. he'd be like oh he's PRETENTIOUS. lol ok. he's a senior in high school, of course he sometimes acts like he knows everything. why do you act like he's a lost cause? i could also tell that there must've been some personal jealousy in there bc his brother was kind of the "more accomplished" sibling, did better in school, that sort of thing. i don't know what it's like to be an older sibling or to feel like you're living in the shadow of a sibling, especially a younger one, because i've always kind of been on a different path than any of my siblings/there hasn't really been a sense of competition between us. i would try to give him the benefit of the doubt and be like "well i guess i really don't know what that's like" because you CAN'T assume. i give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt and i try to take people, especially when they're being vulnerable with me, at their word, which is exactly how i got so involved with this guy and ended up being so used by him and under his thumb. horrible. he's a monster. anyway.

and whenever i'd be like "well he's just a kid" to every negative thing he'd say about his little brother, that's when he'd dismiss the subject and stop talking about it. and this isn't something that came up a couple of times but came up a LOT. he'd shit talk his brother to me at least several times a week, always unprompted, because why would i wanna hear someone badmouth a teenager? and it'd always be the pettiest shit. one time he even told me that he noticed his brother didn't come home last night and he didn't know where he was and i was like "oh my god is he ok? that's terrifying" and it's like he did that just so he could tell me "no i don't really care honestly. the two of us aren't close." it's like he wasn't just not-close with this kid but he was obsessed with hating him.

not only did his reasons never seem to satisfy me, but he never seemed to acknowledge that his little brother shared all of the traumas and adverse experiences he grew up with, the discrimination he faced and the familial trauma and the structures of abuse he would tell me about from his parents. he would mention how these are all the problems and the reasons he can't trust people and why he's so fucked up but he didn't seem to have any patience or empathy for someone younger than him brought up in the same exact environment. it's like he wanted his brother to always just fuck off and die.

none of this made any sense to me, it was if anything the BIGGEST sense of confusion i had with him for a long time because i dismissed all the ways he was cruel to *just me* until i started picking up all his patterns and realizing this all WASN'T just how he treats me. HE is the problem; HE is this entitled and controlling and nasty and manipulative towards everyone; HE has no self-awareness or regard for other people. it's not just ME not having the guts to stand up for myself when he made me feel uncomfortable or when i'd feel disrespected by something he said to/about me. he would know when he was saying something unacceptable or losing his temper; he did it with other people all the time. but he isolated and then lovebombed me so hard that i didn't see that this WAS how he treated everyone, but he made me in particular his prey because i was a trusting and trustworthy stranger, rather than someone who had seen him behave in such a way towards other people and could make the informed choice to stay away from him. it was never JUST ME but how could i have known that?? how?? i didnt know anything about his life except what he'd tell me, and he was actively sucking me away from all parts of my life he wasn't involved in, and/or forcing his way into them. there was no space between him and me; my life became his because he hijacked it and then forced me to do all his emotional labor and solve all his problems so i'd hardly have any energy to face my own.

anyway. yeah. it all made MUCH more sense when i realized HE is the problem between him and his brother. that didn't stick out as a red flag because again i'm trusting and i accept all these hypothetically broken or damaged familial relationships people have. HE really wanted me to hate this teenager for no good reason, like he wanted me to hate everyone else in his life that he'd ever decide to cast as a villain. i never understood why the teenage boy. never understood it. i'm like he's just a boy. OH but you're an awful horrible jerk who can't get along with anyone for longer than 2 minutes before you try and take control of everything about them and then lash out if they try to assert their independence. OOOHHH ok i get it now that makes sense. because that's what you've been doing to me all this time ohhh i get it.

[pierregazly]

but mama, i love him ꨄ oscar piastri smau

oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

the one where oscar's girlfriend has been soft launching their relationship for ages. and he's okay with it, especially if it means he can keep hiding in plain sight from her three overprotective brothers.

ynleclerc

tagged charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and others

ynleclerc omg omg omg... charles leclerc signed my hat? should i add it to the shrine? give them something to sacrifice?

view all comments

username any non-f1 fan would automatically assume ynleclerc is a crazy fan page for charles

username or a charles leclerc hate page... all she does it make fun of her brothers here

username she's offering her signed hat for the tifosi to sacrifice for a CL16 win??? that seems like pure love all around

arthur_leclerc i also signed your hat?

ynleclerc i also do not care? will a hat signed by you get me millions if i sell it for sacrificial purposes?

charles_leclerc what's next? my personal belongings?

ynleclerc is that an offer? if so, oui. i will take what i think will make me the most money next time i'm there, merci <3

scuderiaferrari if it gets us a 1-2 finish, sacrifice everything ynleclerc... please 🙏

username being a Ferrari fan is so satisfying when you remember ynleclerc is an automatic inclusion in everything and anything charles does

username the things i would do to have her as a McLaren fan... she's too beautiful for Ferrari 😭

oscarpiastri a piastri hat will get you good money in straya btw

username oscar??

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, mclaren, and others

oscarpiastri 'stop hitting me with the ball on purpose you jerk' was said more times than it should've been, by someone who really just sucks at tennis. had an awesome week back home, time to get back to it 💪

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logansargeant no wonder you're so worried about getting run over

username the coordinating outfits?? i'm gonna scream, who is she!!!

username what does logan know, tell us your secrets girl logansargeant

username oscar is gonna soft launch this relationship until the end of time. show us her face, you coward!!

ynleclerc did you pay her for all the bruises that tennis ball left?? poor girl

oscarpiastri it's not my fault she's a terrible tennis player, we all know i've offered to pay for a trainer

landonorris so this is why you couldn't come to bali with me 🤨

username lando really said i'm the third wheel??

username to be fair i'd probably pick oscar's girlfriend over lando for a week away too

username girly you don't even know who she is!!! she could be the devil

username i wanna be included in oscar's post week home photo dump :(

ynleclerc has posted a story

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, pascale.leclerc.355, and others

replies

oscarpiastri you can call me pookie whenever you want if you're gonna post things like this

ynleclerc i'd call you pookie with or without your permission, mon amour

charles_leclerc who is this

charles_leclerc why won't you tell us who you're dating

charles_leclerc we won't hurt him

charles_leclerc answer my texts

ynleclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, pascale.leclerc.355, arthur_leclerc, and others

ynleclerc get you a man who can do both, luckiest woman in the world whenever you're around. mon amour 🤍

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username people involved in formula 1 and their obsession with soft launching everything NEEDS to be studied

username at least she posts her boyfriend and he isn't just a small figure in the background of every post (charles this is a direct hate comment)

arthur_leclerc this would have been very lovely if it weren't for the last photo

liked by charles_leclerc and lorenzotl

ynleclerc suppose it's a good thing you could easily ignore it. cheers :)

pascale.leclerc.355 trés belle, ma fille 💗

charles_leclerc maman?

username could you IMAGINE if ynleclerc told pascale but obviously hasn't told her brothers? i can FEEL the outrage

username starting to think this may be a driver, ynleclerc is at every race weekend and ALWAYS makes a post with her mystery man at some point during the week after...

username okay ms sleuth (i think it's lando)

username i'm like 65% sure it's oscar, and 35% positive it's someone that looks a lot like oscar

ynleclerc

tagged oscarpiastri

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and others

ynleclerc someone exposed us on twitter, so i had to expose us on instagram 😮‍💨

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri love you <3

oscarpiastri i will love you even when a ferrari has run me over, of course.

arthur_leclerc is this your way of telling me i was right, without texting me back?

charles_leclerc this must be a joke, non?

pascale.leclerc.355 so very excited to finally be able to invite the both of you for dinner. trés belle 🤍

charles_leclerc maman, you knew?

ynleclerc oscar and i will see you for sunday dinner, maman! <3

tresbelleleclercspam

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

ynleclerc live feed of oscar running away from charles in the paddock when he said he 'just wanted to talk, mate'

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charles_leclerc i truly just wanted to talk about the race

charles_leclerc i did not have a speech planned, non

arthur_leclerc i did have a speech planned

lorenzotl i just wanted to welcome him to the family, as a good big brother should

oscarpiastri my apple watch warned me of an overactive heart rate 5 times today. why did you do this to me. why couldn't you have three sisters???

ynleclerc so very sorry, in our next life i'll try to make sure you only have to worry about sisters and not three overprotective brothers

oscarpiastri as long as i get to spend every lifetime with you <3

i actually got a request for something like this ages ago, and finally got around to finishing it. i so hope you all loved it as much as i loved writing it. thank you for all the support!!

i'm not currently taking requests, but if anyone has lil suggestions or prompts please feel free to send them.

[neo-nomatrix]

The Olive Theory

Luke Castellan x Reader

word count: 641

summary: Strawberries are your favorite thing in the whole world, luckily for you Luke seems to “hate them”

a/n: based on the olive theory from himym

@repostingmyfavs

There are two things you truly love in this world: Luke and Strawberries.

You often find yourself helping the Demeter and Dionysus kids in the strawberry fields, despite your actual job being at the infirmary. Miranda often scolded you for taking strawberries for yourself during the day, you didn’t mind though. The sweet yet tart berry was worth it.

Your obsession with the fruit grew even further. You begged the dryads for extra portions during dinner, pairing them with yogurt and melted chocolate. Your least favorite part was having to sacrifice the berry to your godly father. You debated giving something else to him but everyone at camp and above knew your love for them, there was no running from it.

Luke was well aware of your passion for strawberries. Going as far as joking that you love them more than him. You both aren’t quite sure if it’s a joke or not.

You sit at a picnic table near the Hermes cabin with luke. You had just sat down with Percy and three shortcakes for each of you. Luke leans over and presses a soft kiss against your temple as you sit down. Percy notices that you can barely acknowledge it since your focus is on the cake.

Both Luke and Percy stare at you in wonder as you eye the desert, they can’t seem to figure out why you haven’t eaten it yet. Impatient, you look over and luke with a wanting gaze.

“Oh- right,” he says understandingly.

Percy is clearly confused by the seemingly telepathic communication. His eyes dart between you and Luke, your gaze once again set on your plate. Luke picks off the strawberries from his cake and places them on your plate. As soon as the first two strawberries are there you start devouring the cake like a ravenous hyena. Percy starts to wonder if you’re even chewing. Luke starts to eat some of his until he stops halfway. He puts the remaining piece of cake on your plate for you. You eat it immediately as if it was there the whole time.

“Are you gonna have that?” You ask politely, eyeing a large, red strawberry on Percy’s plate.

His eyes shift down to where your gaze is settled, “No, go ahead.”

You smile and take it with your fork, biting into it quickly. Percy’s eyes shift back to Luke, who’s been staring at you since the moment you sat down. His face held a small smile as he admired you. You smiled as you licked the whipped cream off your fork.

“I think I'm gonna get another slice!” You exclaim happily, standing up and nearly skipping to where the dryads are.

Luke watches as you leave, eyes falling on your figure.

“I never realized she liked strawberries that much,” Percy said.

“Yeah, I'm kinda surprised she hasn’t turned into one yet,” he laughs quietly.

“I assume you don’t like them that much? I mean- you gave her all of yours and half of the cake,” Percy explains.

“Strawberries? no way, they’re great. But she loves them so much, and I'd do anything to make her happy,” Luke smiles as he nibbles on the remains of one of your eaten berries.

You come back with a widest smile on your face. You hold another cake alongside a cup of strawberries. You sit down, happily eating more of the cake and strawberries.

“Isn’t it so great that Luke doesn’t like them? I get them all to myself!” You say, beaming.

“Yeah,,, perfect,” Percy says slowly, remembering the new found information.

“Mhm; I’d give my girl all the strawberries in the world if I could,” Luke mumbles.

Luke has a single mission in life, making you happy. Even if that means giving up his favorite fruit for you. Your smile is worth much more than a simple strawberry.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.

1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.

2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.

So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.

Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.

He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.

Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.

Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.

I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.

He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.

I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.

OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.

Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world

PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox

Original post

[lxnarphase]

baby put your back into it ๋࣭ ⭑

☾₊‧⁺...cw : toji fushiguro x fem!reader, smut, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, overstimulation, unprotected sex, breeding kink, dirty talk, rough sex, begging, smug and cocky reader, feral toji

☾₊‧⁺...a/n : idc idc i wanted something self-indulgent and want toji to call his wife 'ma'. hopefully it's good, it's been a long while since i have written anything so enjoy ☾

☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : you notice a slight change in toji...seems like his breeding kink reached the next level

it didn't take long for you to notice something was different with toji. he would just...keep referencing families, babies, pregnancy...it was definitely weird coming from him.

"can you believe how expensive diapers are? if you ever had a baby, i'd just steal them, 'm not gettin' scammed for piss-'n'-shit-holders."

"...do you think you'd have a fat baby? jus' asking, 'cause you got some fat cheeks. and this time, I'm talking about the ones on your face."

"i hope you don't get gross cravings if you get pregnant. hot chips, peanut butter, and bacon? nah, wife or not, i'd beat your ass."

but everything really got worse when he started calling you that fucking nickname.

"hey, pretty ma."

"mmm, c'mon, ma, stay in bed with me longer..."

"fuck, you look so good under me like this, ma...can't wait to destroy that pretty cunt."

you didn't think too much of it, it was probably just toji being...toji. except, now? you realize exactly what's been plaguing his mind.

"you make me so fuckin' mad, y'know that," toji huffs, his fingers digging into the plush fat of your hips as he helps you fuck yourself on his thick cock.

you scoff, giving a little grind of your hips. the way he sucks in a breath and rolls his hips up into you made you grin; he talks so much shit for someone whose dick throbbed so much from that little movement.

"if i didn't make you mad, toj, you wouldn't have stuck around."

you don't give him the chance to give you a snide response before you climb off his lap and further up on the bed, giving the silent hint to switch positions. toji has to bite his tongue, shooting you a glare that makes you grin.

"you are insufferable, woman," he grumbles, coming to hold himself over you as he continues to glare down at you. toji sucks at pretending to be mad you, you think with a giggle, seeing need swirl in those pretty eyes of his. he slides his cock between your slick folds, cursing when it catches on your entrance.

just as toji is about to slide back in, you press your hand against his abdomen while your other hand wraps around the base. "ooh," he hisses, smirking down at you. "pretty wife's gonna put it in for me?"

however, it's clear he doesn't expect it when you begin to tug the condom off, eyes snapping up to you. oh, that absolutely adorable look on your face, brows furrowed together and embarrassment all over it...he felt himself twitch because of it. your usual cocky and smug persona seemed to have melted away.

"babe...what are you—"

"toji, do you wanna have a baby with me?"

the sudden question makes him freeze, his eyes widening with a mixture of shock and arousal. were you seriously asking him this now? as you fucking tugged the condom, making it slowly peel off his dick?

did you know there was no coming back from this?

"i'm being serious, fushiguro, give me an answer before i make you put a new condom on," you mutter shyly under your breath, the condom finally coming off.

he's snapped back to the present when he feels you rubbing his tip through your soaking cunt, little sighs leaving you when it brushes over your clit.

"...are you serious? hey, hey, look at me. you're not fuckin' with me right now, are ya? tell me. you really want t' have a kid with me?"

you finally make eye contact with him, that vulnerable look on your face making his heart race. you were too precious for your own good...god he was so fuckin' happy he wifed you up.

"yes, toji, i want you to make me a mommy. i...i-i want to start a family with you, okay? so stop asking me questions and jus—oh-!"

with no hesitation and no time to finish your sentence, toji slides himself inside, his hips flush against your ass as he groans your name. you're so fucking warm and wet, holy shit, he could cum just from having you wrapped around him like this.

"good god, you're gonna be the fucking death of me," he groans, leaning down to press a heated kiss against your lips. "i'm gonna ruin you, i'm goin' to fuckin' destroy you and this little cunt, you know that right?"

toji starts moving, setting a fast, deep, rough pace that makes his hot tip press against every part of you in ways that make your eyes roll back. "t-toj, w-waaait—!"

he shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut as he lifts your legs up, putting you into a goddamn mating press to stuff you full and you know you aren't going to make it out of this sane.

especially not when you keen at the feeling of his cock kissing your cervix.

"i can't, i can't wait, ma, i can't," he huffs into your ear, the room filling with the wet slaps of his balls smacking against your ass, the wet squelching of your needy cunt trying to suck his cock back in each time he pulls out.

"do you know what it fuckin' does to a man to hear his. fucking. wife. say she wants him to knock 'er up? huh? you don't d'you, baby girl," he asks into your ear, hips pounding hard against yours to punctuate each word.

all toji can think about is you, you getting round with his baby, you glowing so gorgeously, the way you'll out all cute, maybe get pudgy all over, all because of him...and everyone would know who did it.

"hoohmygod, listen to that pretty pussy," he hisses, fingers digging into the meat of your thighs as his eyes flutter back into his head.

you can't help but hear it, it sounds so messy and sloppy, you just know you'll have to replace the sheets after this. but that's the last thing on your mind when he shifts forward just a bit, making your hips tilt up just a little more—

"oh my god, toji, t-toji, baby, don't stop, please," you practically sob, lifting your hips up to meet his thrusts as he hits that sweet spot so perfectly.

a cruel smirk breaks out on his face when he realizes he found that spongy spot inside you that makes you cream, leaning close and pressing his forehead against yours. "i know, i know, it feels good, doesn' it? yeah, you're such a slut for my cock, fuckin' milkin' it like a good girl," he coos to you condescendingly.

"w-we can't go back, toj," you whimper, your hands coming up to cup his face. you messily press wet kisses all over his face as you moan openly. "c-can't fuck with condoms anymore, it feels too good, baby,"

"shh, shh, mama, i got you," he reasures you, chuckling at how precious you are...telling him not to fuck you with condoms anymore? oh, he had no problem with that.

"'m gonna make sure i breed you nice 'n' deep, yeah? gonna get you pregnant with my baby," he coos, moving his hand between you both to rest on your stomach. "'m gonna fill you up...right here," he says with a devious tone before he presses down right as he pushes back inside of you.

"babyyyy, i'm cumming," you cry, digging your nails into his back as tears stream down your face. he didn't stop, still snapping his hips into you as you orgasm, feeling you squeeze him so fucking tight as he talks you through it, little phrases of 'that's it, keep cumming' and 'goooood, you're gettin' so wet, milk that cock, it's all for you' being huskily groaned into your ear.

but, when you think he'll stop, giving you a break...you realize he's not, he's not stopping, toji's still fucking you, and you glance down and see how you're creaming, your cum coating his cock in a milky sheen as you squeal, managing to get your legs off his shoulders to try and move up on the bed away from his unforgiving pace.

"tojiiii, 's too much," you huff, managing to move far up the bed enough that only the tip is inside of you...but toji isn't letting you get away that easily.

"nononono, don't run away, don't run away from me, mama." he follows you up the bed until you are trapped between him and the pillows messily pushed against the headboard.

"don't run, c'mon, get back on my cock, tha's it," toji rasps, his voice making you shiver. he sounds so desperate, so unhinged, so needy. he looks so good like this, you think, mewling when he pushes back inside.

"there she is, good girl, lettin' me breed her cunt."

your insides are getting turned into mush, and, fuck, was he going deeper? you nodded your head, but you didn't even know why, it jsut felt right, felt so good, you were gonna cum again—

"i need to fuckin' breed you," he practically whines, toji's eyes squeezed shut as he focuses on chasing his end, your sticky cunt driving him fucking mad. soon, he'd be cumming inside of you, filling you up, his hot, thick cum getting sucked right into your womb by your desperate pussy...

"shit, fuck, doll, let me cum in you, let me empty my balls inside of you, i want it so fuckin' bad, mama, let me make you my pretty pregnant wife, please, let me give you a baby—"

he was rambling, eyes snapping open as he tried to glare at you but you just moan when he made eye contact. he's trying sohard to seem angry, but he's not, he's melting in your walls, eyes begging you to let him paint them white, to try and knock you up.

you nod again, rapidly to the point you get dizzy, hands grabbing his biceps and squeezing hard. "toji, don't you, hhf, waste a fuckin' drop, or i swear to god i will t-tie you up and milk you until you are shooting blanks, give me your fuckin' baby—"

"—fuckin' shit, babyyy, i'm cumming, fucking take it, take it, take my cum into that pretty little cunt-!"

the groan that he gives you is loud and needy, dropping down to messily kiss you as he pounds into you in deep, hard thrusts trhough his orgasm. you shudder violently at the feeling of thick, hotness filling you up from the inside. it's so much, you can tell it's not all gonna fit, feeling some of it messily spurt out of you as his thrusts grow lazier.

"thank you, baby," you softly coo, thankful for both the break of overstimulation and the pleasant feeling of being so full. he nearly collapses on you, holding himself up with his forearms as he pants, catching his breath as you kiss all over his face, waiting for him to come back to you.

eventually, he sits up, a hand running through his messy hair as his other one stays on your waist, stroking it up and down, taking in the view of you catching your breath against the pillows he cornered you against.

...you're so so pretty.

"shit...ah, damn, you're a mess," toji mutters to himself, looking between the two of you. it's a filthy mess, a mixture of your cream and the thick cum that couldn't stay inside. hell, he doesn't think he's ever cum this much in one go before. "mmmn...it looks pretty though," he says with a proud smirk. he did that to you, after all.

as he goes to pull out of you, toji's shocked by the way you manage to gain the strength to flip him onto his back...just that single move had him twitching back to hardness inside you as wide eyes looked up into your mischievous ones.

"don't pull out, yet, toj...just one more time? just to make sure it takes?"

an almost evil smirk breaks out on toji's face as he digs his fingertips into your ass, hard enough that it'll leave marks.

"shit, i knew i married the right fuckin' woman. come on, baby girl, let me see you fuck me stupid. let's make sure i give my wife what she wants.

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