#I'm dissociating <3

[animatedtext]

requested by octo-senpai 

[azaracyy]

✦ gods of mischief ✦ digimon survive week 2024 day 3: other digi- er, kemonogami

[six-white-venus]

What can you do when you hate every word that comes out of your mouth with a burning passion? When nothing you say ever feels right? When all of your words feel like lies, even though they’re not?

Because they’re not, right? …right?

[million-with-a-b]

new spotify wrapped game idea for systems!!!

Send the person who reblogged this (or me 👉👈) a number 1-100!! They share what song that is on their Top Songs AND which alter/group of alters had an influence in getting it on the playlist !!

[ruiination]

// Persona people can I send Yuki to you?

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

i have had a single day of class and am ready for the semester to be over

[spoonietimelordy]

EDS flare-ups are the devil

Anyway gotta make use of it and explain my own pain scale. Because I realised that i dont need the whole 0 to 10 scale since i’m always at similar numbers on it. So here we are:

-0 no pain (doesn't exist but hey can still dream)

-1 low everyday pain

-2 hight everyday pain, need a lot of break but can manage

-3 flare-up but can still do basic things like watching tv

-4 flare-up dissociative (I don't remember those afterwards, there so painful that they're stored as trauma)

[ratgirlcopia]

[eyes visibly bloodshot] yeah i'm thinking about copia a regular amount.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

i love waking up to my boyfriend just agresvily fucking me and to him whispering how much of a slut/whore i am and that this is all i am good for and that im his perfect little fucktoy and that hes so happy to have such an eager hole for him to use whenever he wants to /gen

<3

[autistic-shaiapouf]

You know how in mob psycho you can see the percentage counter for how close mob is to absolutely losing it

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

my fic-writing process, by me:

1) open google doc. format the google doc how i like it. (”add space after paragraph”!) feel great dread. no. cannot do it. never. it simply won’t happen.

2) write a few sentences. start to kinda be feeling it. jump all over the word document scribbling bits of every scene in no particular order as the idea comes alive. most sentences are half words and half “_______” (which means i’ll get back to it later when my brain works better).

3) get so entirely all-consumingly immersed that i don’t quite exist any longer and i know somehow that while i might look like me on the outside,  my REAL identity is the characters i’m writing about. (extremely normal.) at this stage i am incredibly annoying to be around irl because i’m like 30% there max, but my heart lives in the google doc with my fictional counterparts. getting pulled away when i want to be writing is a unique kind of mental misery that i can’t quite get a handle on experiencing with dignity. while writing, i probably make all the facial expressions i’m imagining the characters making and sometimes talk to myself aloud. (extremely normal again.)

4) revise-as-i-go for one trillion hours, throwing in new scenes at random like they’ve been there all along. writing something in chronological order? that could never be me.

5) make sure to fill in all the “________”s. there are always more than i remember.

6) realize that i think i’m done!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!! other people are gonna see this!!!!!! other people are gonna go on this journey with me!!!!!!! other people are going to FEEL how i FEEL!!!!!!! i’m not going to be alone anymore with this symphony of emotions!!!!!!! (this is the point where i should let my fic sit for a couple days before posting, but i never, ever do. the idea of other people besides me being able to witness its existence is too tempting!)

7) read once through but not in the most stickler-y proofreader way, if i’m honest.

8) grab some lyrics from the song that comes to mind first and slap ‘em on top as the title. wish i had a better and more thoughtful approach to titles.

9) create a draft on ao3.

10) read that through like three and a half times and fix all the weird italics.

11) POST, always knowing i’ve done so a little too soon!

aaaaaand 12) wait for comments in a state of keen, hyperaware, hyper-vulnerable emotional anguish. Suffer Forever.

this is my hobby!!!!!!!! for some reason.

[undertheopensky]

My cat has routines, like most cats.

One of these routines is that, around nine p.m., she will start yelling come-play! noises and tearing in and out of my room.

I will get up and follow her, asking what she wants. She will lead me on a loop around the house, mrrting and meowing, until we get back to my room, at which point she expects me to go to bed.

I usually do, and she can sleep on my chest or curl up next to my hip as takes her fancy.

She does not know why this works.

(Her noises verge on the edge of distress-noises, which always break whatever concentration/hyperfixation I have going on. I realise the time, and take my night meds. I get up and go to brush my teeth, and follow her around the house for the two minutes it takes to brush them. Then I get back to my room and go straight to bed, because by now my body has realised it's tired.

If I stay up looking at my phone for longer than five minutes, she will shove her entire body between my face and the screen and lie there like a purring brick. I inevitably fall asleep waiting for her to move.

She is not trained to be a therapy cat. But fuck if she didn't fix the sleep schedule that's been fucked up my entire damn life.)

[glitxd-shenanigan]

thumbnail sketches for echoes of the ward