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fczco · 4 years

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tea party mademoiselle, JJ Maybank

masterlist in bio

a.n: i posted this a few months back so if you think it's familiar that's probably why :) english is not my first language so i apologize in advance for any mistake.

words count: 2,1k

warnings: maybe a little cursing??? but i think not.

(not my gif if it's yours please tell me so i can give you credits)

You woke up by someone jumping in your bed and instantly remembered the promised you had made the night before your mum about taking care of your little sister that day. She had to do double shifts at work, meaning she would be out from seven a.m until around nine p.m.

"Lena stop" you told the five years old girl and she obeyed to your order, sitting next to you where you were laying.

After looking at your phone and noticing it was almost nine a.m you asked her if she wanted to have breakfast, to what she replied with a yes, filled with excitement because she loved your french toasts.

While you two were enjoying the flavorsome food you had prepare, your phone started buzzing and the name of JJ appeared on the screen, you answered the call.

"pretty girl" your friend said through the speaker.

"how you doing gorgeous?" you decided to follow his little game that after all the years of friendship was a completely normal thing between you two, flirting all the time was like the signature of your personal bond, making everyone think JJ and you were involved in something more personal and intimate; which was not close at all from reality.

"our plans for today still on your agenda?" JJ asked, you could tell he was eating due to the weird way he was talking and also your friends had this bad habit of chewing really loud and it made you go insane, but it didn't matter when you recalled on how you were supposed to pick him up and spend the day at the beach together.

"oh shit-" you started but he interrupted you.

"i knew you would forget traitor ass bitch" he didn't sound mad, in fact he was laughing.

"i'm so so sorry Jay" you began talking with your hand on your forehead while the little monster in front of you was watching you, "my mom is doing double shift at work today and i promised to take care of Lena, i'm so so sorry".

"wait, you are with Lena right now?"

"yes, she is looking at me right now, in a malicious way, sometimes she scares the hell out of me" JJ laughed at what you said.

"put me on speaker i wanna talk to her" you could feel how he was smiling on the other line, JJ loved Lena and she loved him, your sister even told you once how she had a crush on him, even though she pissed you off most of the time, it was adorable.

"k", you pulled the phone away from your ear and pressed the button, "someone wants to talk to you" you said to her and then placed the electronic gadget between you two so both could hear him.

"hi princess!" your friend greeted Lena and you saw how her were flooded with joy when she distinguished JJ's voice, "you ok over there?" he asked after a few seconds without any answer, your little sister was shocked.

"Lena! say something to him!" you laughed at her priceless reaction.

"i can't, i'm nervous" she 'whispered' but you knew very well that he had heard her.

"why?" you asked Lena just to mess with the poor little girl.

"he is too cute! you know i like him" her face was close to be red as a tomato, "you talk to him! he is your boyfriend!".

"you know he is not my boyfriend silly kid!" she looked at you deadly in the eyes, "fine fine, i'll talk to him" you brought your phone closer to you but the speaker was still on, "Lena can't talk right now JJ" you glanced at her, she was pointing at the bathroom, "She's on the bathroom right now" with a smile on her face she pulled her thumbs up, indicating you were doing alright.

How the fuck a five years old can be like that?

"oow, that's too bad! i wanted to ask her if she would like that i come over and play with you guys!" JJ and you knew exactly what you were doing, and both loved it.

"shit man" your sister opened her eyes wide open and started moving her head up and down very fast and drastically, "but, i'm sure she would love that you came" you said after getting her message.

" i don't know, i think she hates me-" JJ couldn't finish talking 'cause Lena yelled.

"NO JJ I LOVE YOU PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE" you held back a laugh.

"oh Lena, there you are!" she was sitting on the floor with her hands over her mouth, not believing what she had just screamed, drama queen just like you, "if you ask me like that i can't say no, i'll be there by midday with food to eat".

"see you Jay"

"see you girls" he hang up and you smiled at your sister who's mouth was wide open.

Waiting for JJ was life-threatening when Lena didn't stop running around the house while howling around the house "JJ is coming here! JJ is going to play with me!", at the beginning was funny and sweet, but after almost two hours of hearing it you wanted to kill her cold-blooded style.

The knock on your door sounded like angels melody entering your ears, your little sister ran towards the door and when you arrived there she had already opened it and let JJ get inside.

"Lena! what if it was a murderer?" you complained for her actions, but she just ignored you and turned to face JJ.

"JJ you have to promise me one thing" she spoke as one of her fingers got close to JJ's face, "you will play with me and not just kiss my sister!" she said extremely serious about it.

"it will be hard not to 'cause she looks beautiful today but i promise you i will not" the blonde expressed as he handed you a greasy brown bag, which you assumed contained the food he said he was going to bring, and winked at you, making you roll your eyes,

"i knew it! JJ is your boyfriend! you were lying to my Y/N!" your dramatic and innocent sister yelled at you.

"No kid, he is messing with you, we are just friends" you replied to her laughing it off.

"I WANT JJ TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Lena started crying an ran to her room.

"five years old and she's already a drama queen just like her big sis" your best friend scoffed.

"go after her you blondie king" you ordered while setting the table to eat.

"why me? she's your sister" JJ complained

"because she loves YOU way more than she loves ME, besides, you started this, you fix it" you said as placing glasses for the three of you.

JJ used his beauty features to persuade Lena to eat.

Lunch went by fast, lots of laughs and jokes included. The golden boy and you love to mess with your little sister.

You were playing UNO in the living when suddenly the tiny monster stood up full of excitement.

"I have an idea!" she happily said.

"what is it princess?" JJ asked, his angelic blue eyes were focused on the cards held by his hands, thinking about which one throw and deciding over a plus two, thing that made you lift your middle finger and picked up two from the little mountain over the table.

"we're going to bake cookies!" the boy and you looked up to her with a frown on your faces.

"why?" you asked.

"why not?" JJ replied, it was pretty obvious he just wanted to piss you off.

The three of you followed an easy recipe your mom always made on weekends. When you finally introduced the tray filled with the raw cookies the kitchen was a mess, flour everywhere and some cookie dough was sprayed all over the mount kitchen from when JJ picked you up and spun you around.

Five minutes before they were done you told them to go and play or something like that, giving you time to make some coffee and clean a little bit.

You walked into the living room and what you found was the most amazingly cute thing you had seen in your short life. JJ and Lena were sitting in the floor around the little table you were playing cards, unless that now it was filled with plastic mugs and plates. Your little sister had her Rapunzel dress on and the blonde boy was wearing a silver crown with fake amethysts on it and around his neck a pink and purple boa. You decided to appreciate the scenario for a few more seconds, JJ was faking drinking from his cup and Lena was saying something to him that you couldn't hear because you were to immersed into how great your best friends was with kids.

"what are you two beautiful kids doing?" you asked while walking towards them.

"it's a tea party mademoiselle you have to talk properly" JJ scold you.

"oh! i'm so sorry! it was very inconsiderate of me! i brought some tasty cookies to share with you" Your sister gave you a similar boa to the one that JJ was wearing but yours was electric blue and your crown was actually a flowers one.

It was almost seven p.m and after lots of begs and promises you gave up and let Lena and JJ do your make up.

The little girl went running to her bedroom to find her 'products' as she called them and you took advantage of being alone with JJ and told him what you had thought about earlier.

"JJ" you called him and he looked at you, "you are great with kids, you will be an awesome dad" on his face appeared the biggest smile of them all, you knew how much what you were saying meant to him due to everything he had gone through with his dad. He told you multiple times before how he was afraid of ending up being like his dad, but after today you were sure there was no way the pretty boy that was in front of you ended up that way.

"Thank you Y/N it means that you think of me that way" you smiled to him, almost letting an i love you slip from your mouth.

"WHO'S READY FOR THIS?!" Lena screamed.

"Let's get to it" you said, still looking at JJ.

"And JJ" he turned his head, now facing the girl, "i'm doing your make up too"

"Of course you are princess! i want to be as beautiful as Y/N is!"

The whole day was just perfect, you had no words to describe how happy and delighted you felt.

When your mum arrived JJ left. Lena told her everything and she was amazed with the boy, it was a side of him that no one, not even you had seen before and it was a lovely one.

You were turning off the lights of your room when someone entered your room, your mom.

"i do not really know what is happening between you and JJ but, from what you guys told me he was the best today" she smiled at you "so i would reconsider the 'no pogue on pogue macking' rule you told me about and finally leave the just friends aside, it's pretty obvious you two like and love each other in other ways than that" she closed the door without giving you the chance to answer.

The screen of your phone lighted up when you got a text from the boy.

- i was thinking about what you said about me being a good dad, you will be an awesome mom too, but i don't want to have kids if it's not with you, whatcha say?

You were shocked by what he was saying.

- i'm pretty sure that for that to happen there are lots of steps ahead ;)

- like what?

- idk, asking me out first? a kiss?

- my precious Y/N would you do me the honor of going tea partying again? this time just the two of us.

- i'll be delighted JJ Maybank

- and what about letting me kiss you at that tea party?

-it'd be a little inappropriate but i might give in

-god you have no idea of how happy you make me pretty girl.

- you too golden boy

#jj imagine #jj outer banks #jj maybank #jj x y/n #obx x reader #obx jj #obx fanfiction #jj mayback x reader

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lemonadebloodsworld · 4 years

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Tw: ED (??), sh, depression, suicidal thoughts, abuse (??)

So yeah,

It feels weird to come back here even if it's a more recent account. The first time I made a tumblr account was when I was 13 and back then I was already really depressed because of trauma, my relationship with my parents and the fact that they were always saying that I faked being depressed and was just being dramatic and other shitty stuff.

Back then they thought I was a gay girl too but yeah I'm a bi trans boy and it makes everything so damn harder because everytime I try to talk about my mental health my mom just says that it's JUST because I'm trans and I should just be patient and wait to be 18 to start a transition while yes, dysphoria and the fact that my family isn't really supportive make me sad but my mental health has been getting so damn bad.

I've never really been a happy child, my parents divorced when I was 3-4, my mom found my stepdad who has always been an asshole to me and my little brother because we are not his "real" kids and would always yell at us and hit my brother and my mom has always been depressive and mentally ill (Ed, depression and trauma) so she is scared of him ig, anyways, she just never said anything about it, even when she noticed that we were really scared of him.

My bio father was supposed to take us at his place every weekend but after a year he stopped coming and dissappeared for 9 years. At the same time I started to get bullied at school by older kids and some kids in my class and I didn't have any friends because it was a shame for them to be friend with me.

At 11, I have been sexually assaulted by an older kid (he was 15 or something) leaving me with trauma.

At 12 I changed school and found friends, I was so unused to it and ashamed of my past that I spent my time lying to them so they'll like me and think I'm cool, I also started to smoke and drink in secret because I felt so much pain and the intrusive thoughts started to get loud.

At 13 my bio dad came back in my life because he owed a lot of money to my mom and wanted to use us to make my mom feel bad about it. I started self-harming lightly and depression started to settle in but I wasn't really understanding what was going on because the "hypomanic" phases and intrusive thoughts were getting more present causing me to lose the only friends I had and yeah I just didn't understand what the hell was going on. I tried to talk about my mental health to my parents but they told me that I was being dramatic and it's a normal thing to feel bad because I was an adolescent and questioning my identity (I came out as a lesbian back at this time) and decided to just punish me and take my phone away because I was spending too much time alone in my room and didn't do the chores.

At 14 I started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks while being in depressive episodes, I started an ed (feeling shameful for eating even a little amount of anything and purging, I don't want to give it any name because I have been diagnosed and yeah), I also began to self-harm more and deeper (still not bad, I don't want to lie for that type of stuff xd), I broke down one day and told everything to my parents (sh, depressive tendencies, smoke, suicidal thoughts etc) and once again they were like "yeah nah it can't be that bad, you just lie to have attention and have an excuse to stay in your room and just being stupid" but my mom saw my arms and thights and then was okay for me to go see a psychologist. So for a year I had the opportunity to talk with a professional who was really amazing, she prescribed me light sleep pills because of my insomnia while in depressive episodes and "hypomanic" (don't have a diagnosis but I have all the symptoms but then again I don't want to self diagnose because it could be wrong and be something else) ones but my mom always refused to give them to me. At the end of the year she wanted an appointment with my mom to talk about my mental health and the importance for me to go see a therapist to be diagnosed (bipolar disorder 2 (she was still questioning it) , anxiety disorder and depression or whatever, she just wanted me to have the help I needed) but then again my mom said no because I was surely just faking it all and I just had to make efforts to be happy. I was so tired of everything and just wanted to feel better so I started to steal my mom depression medication (mostly Xanax and calming pills).

At 15 I met my first serious girlfriend, I fell in love so hard with her and for the first month she really helped me to stop sh, pills, drinking and everything was great until she started to verbally abuse me using my dysphoria and fragile subjects I told her about (she would say that I'm annoying and selfish for always feeling bad and that u was too sensitive and not a real boy if I cried) once I wasn't agreeing with her, slap and hit me if I said something she wasn't okay with or when I would have anxiety attacks or talk to her about my suicidal thoughts while in depressive episodes and yeah she used me like if I was a dog, if she wanted something or think in some way I would have to give her or do whatever she wanted or I would get threatened, insulted or ignored for a long time or other icky stuff. After 6 months of making me feel guilty for not letting her touch me in a sexual way she one day decided to start taking advantage of me while I wasn't in the appropriate head space or without my consent and then making fun of my body and making comments about the way I look. She in fact, made me really anxious and feel bad and it made me start to binge eat, at the end of the year my weight was 78 kg, before our relationship I was 59 kg, people noticed it but just told me to stop eating and go on a diet.

At 17 (this year) I finally broke up even if she asked me to do it because she didn't want to be seen as the mean one for letting me while I was clearly depressed. It was hard but I could finally meet new people or get back with people she didn't wanted me to talk to (especially my amazing actual partner and my bestfriend) who helped me a lot realizing all the shit she did to me and they have been amazing at making me feel loved and cared for and to be honest I don't think I would be there if they weren't in my life right now.

Now my mental health is just fucked. Like I said when I broke up with my abusive ex I had gained almost 20 kg and it reminded me all the bully I've been through as a kid (they most of the time used the fact I was overweight to bully me) so I started to starve myself or purge if I felt like I ate too much (I started to count calories) I was at 78 kg at the start and in 2 weeks I was at 65kg, it was during quarantine so i didn't have any friend or people noticing what I was doing or see me fainting. I started to drink almost everyday and smoke a lot.

In June I got in a relationship with my actual partner and to be honest it's the only good point I can find this year. They (genderfluid) are an angel and I just don't know what I would do without them, they help me a lot even if they are struggling with mental illness themself and anyone has ever cared for me and made me feel so loved before. Today it's been 4 months officially and it makes me feel happy and I just want it to never stop. My mental health is at its worst, I've been having a lot of intrusive thoughts, i have a self destructive comportement, in September I started to sh again (a lot deeper) after 2 years clean, I often call them in the middle of the night (well in the middle of the day for them cause I'm in Belgium and they are in Texas) because of really bad dreams and suicidal thoughts, I am bullied and made fun of by the people in my class for being trans and having a different style (alt-grunge), I barely eat or purge if I try to have a meal, I have these "hypomanic" phases that make me getting really angry at nothing and do a lot of stupid shit because I feel invincible and better than anyone, almost godly and yet they never made me feel like I was a burden or like I should just stfu or like I was being dramatic and they are actually the first person believing me and not saying I fake everything.

I am struggling and it becomes so damn hard to live but I will do my best not to give up and just keep on fighting for them and maybe try to recover and seek for help when I turn 18. I already try to make little steps and stop self harming, drinking too much energy drink XDD so yeah let's just try and be positive I guess.

Sorry its actually so damn long hhh I don't even know if i will post It one day or keep it as a draft eheh I hate venting

#ed vent #vent text #tw depressing stuff #tw eating stuff #trauma #ventcore #traumacore #long ass rant #tw self destruction #self harrrm #tw self destructive behavior

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6rookie-writer0110 · 4 years

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Tomorrow is never far away Pt-2

Sam Arias x Male Reader

Author Note: (Gif is not mine. Credit to the owner)

Request- Part 2: where R went to national city to get Lena's help with the staff of hermes trismegistus. He also told her that he was the guy in the hood from last year when reigh came along. He went to brainy to do a paternity test with his dna and ruby than when it was done the results came back and Ruby is R's biological daughter and he was in shock and almost fainted. When he came back to meet lena for the staff of hermes trismegistus. Lena saw the distraout on his face and R showed her the results and was shocked as well. He was going to confront sam about it but he wants sam to tell him

You went to National City to see Lena and Brainy but first, you went to see Lena. You need help with the Hermes Trismegistus staff.

”How do you even get this?” Lena asked.

She starts to study and touch the staff. You opened your suitcase and showed her your suit and the blades.

”It was me in the hood when Reign came and attacked supergirl and the city. Lena, I need your help my staff hasn't been working properly. I tried to ask others for help but so far no help” You said.

”You saved me before. I will repay you back by helping you with the staff. Give me time to study it and I will call you” Lena said.

”Thanks,” You said and hugged her.

You went to see Brainy and told him why you need a DNA test. He agreed to do it and you don't have to wait long for the results.

”Y/N, I got the results,” Brainy said.

”Tell me, I need to know if Ruby is my daughter,” You said

”Ruby is your daughter and I can show you the results,” Brainy said.

He showed you the results and you almost fainted, but he caught you. You are speechless and you can't form a sentence.

”Y/N?” Brainy asked.

”I-I-I have to go, please don't tell anyone,” You said.

”I promise,” Brainy said.

You didn't go straight to Lena, you mostly sat on a bench and read the results over and over. You didn't know what to do call Sam or what. You went to see Lena, she can see your mood has changed dramatically. You just gave the paper and she starts to read it and you stare at the floor.

”Oh, Y/N,” Lena said softly.

Lena hugged you and rubs your back.

”Why she didn't tell me?” Your voice cracked.

”I can't answer that for you only she can,” Lena said.

”I don't know what to do,” You said.

”You will figure it out. Soon or later, you will have to tell Sam that you know” Lena said.

”I know,” You said.

You were going to confront Sam but you didn't, because you want her to tell you.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

For the time being, you have been staying with Alex and she knows your secrets. You are busy with Lena and Alex went to visits Sam.

”Alex, I-I have a huge secret and I don't know how to tell Y/N,” Sam said.

”What’s wrong?” Alex asked.

Sam sighed and she looks at Alex.

”Ruby is Y/N’s daughter and I never told him about it. In high school, I lied that I had a miscarriage” Sam said.

Alex is in shock.

”Why, you didn't tell him sooner? Why you waited so long” Alex said.

”I just couldn't tell him. When time went on I just didn't do anything. I was scared of how he was going to react that I lied to him. Ruby has met him but they have no idea” Sam said.

”I think you should tell him first then tell Ruby or at the same time. I really don't know what else to say, this a tough situation for you” Alex said.

”Yeah, I will tell him, I just don't know or when,” Sam said.

Ruby has heard everything, her emotions are all over the place but she feels angry the most. She runs to her bedroom and she starts to pack her clothes. Alex or Sam didn't notice that Ruby ran away but Selena and the world Killers kidnapped Ruby.

You are with Lena working on the staff and you get a phone call.

”Sam?” You said

”Ruby is missing and I can't find her. Y/N I need you” Sam cried out.

”I will help you find her,” You said.

”Y/N... Ruby is your...-”

You stopped Sam.

”I know she is my daughter. We can talk about his later but now I will go find her,” You said.

Before you leave you to get another phone call, it's Selena.

”Return the staff or we will kill her,” Selena said.

”I will swear, I will make you suffer if you hurt her in any way,” You said.

”Return the staff and she will be returned to you safely. You know where to find us, Y/N don't do anything stupid” Selena said.

She hangs up.

You grab your gear then the staff.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

You find Selena and her friends in the Fortress of Sanctuary. You glare at her and Ruby is next to them.

”Y/N, I'm scared,” Ruby said.

”Don’t do anything stupid, that I will hurt your daughter” Selena said.

”I know, she is my daughter,” You said.

” It's true...” Ruby whispered.

”Hand over the staff, and I will let her go,” Selena said.

You walked towards Selena, you are pretending to hand over the staff. Selena was going to grab the staff but you used the power of the staff to attack them. You are happy the staff is working and hope it keeps working. You grabbed Ruby and tan towards the exit.

”Ruby, follow Ikaros for safety now,” You said.

”What about you?” Ruby asked.

”I will be okay, I have to deal with them. I need you to be safe first, I don't want them or anyone to hurt you. Ikaros will keep you safe,” You said.

”Are you mad at my mom?” Ruby asked.

”No, I'm sure she had her reasons. I would never hate her” You said.

Ruby hugged you and you hugged her back.

”Come back,” Ruby said.

”I promise. Now go” You said.

Ruby nods and follows Ikaros. You go back inside and you are ready to fight.

They use their powers to attack you but you swing the staff to hit them. Now they used their powers to attack you but you used teleportation. Then you used energy manipulation to attack back while fighting Selena and her friend than the other one stabbed you in the ribs with a dagger. She pushed the dagger deeper and you start to bleed and you did scream.

The staff released a powerful wave that attacked Selena and her friends. They passed out and you take out the dagger and you screamed in pain.

You touched your ribs and you see the blood. You are losing too much blood that caused you to pass out.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

You wake up and it did hurt to move. You started to panic when you didn't see your staff

”Y/N, you are safe and you need to take it easy,” Lena said.

”The staff where is it?” You asked.

”It’s safe and I will give it to you later. You lost a lot of blood and had to get stitches” Lena said.

”Where is Ruby? Is she okay?” You asked.

”Ruby is fine. They want to see you” Lena said.

”I want to see them,” You said.

”I’m happy that you didn't die. You have to rest for a while if you don't then you will answer to me” Lena said.

She gave you the glare and it did scare you.

”I will make sure that he will rest,” Sam said.

She walks in with Ruby and Ruby runs to you. She did hug you but it hurts

”Sorry,” Ruby said.

”It’s okay. I'm glad that you and your mom are safe” You said.

”Y/N, I'm sorry that I lied to you many years ago. Your father found out that I was pregnant and he threatened me and I got scared that's why I lied. I shouldn't have let years ago by and you missed out on everything. I'm sorry, Y/N�� Sam said.

”My dad knew!” You said out loud and Sam nods.

”Yes and I wanted to tell you but I was terrified of your father. Ruby, I'm sorry I lied to you and if I could change the timeline I would. I hope you and Y/N can forgive me” Sam said.

Ruby hugged Sam and you would but won't for now.

”Sam, I don't hate you. I get that people were scared of my dad. I want us to be a family” You said.

Sam gently hugged you and she starts to cry.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

Sam told you to move in with her and Ruby, so she can help you get better. Ruby is happy about it because she gets to see you more often. You and Sam are working things out and taking it slow.

You and Sam are making pancakes and Ruby will be the judge. You and Sam think one of you can make the best pancakes, so it became competitive.

”I can't decide,” Ruby said.

”You have to pick my pancakes or his” Sam said.

”You two are crazy,” Ruby said and ate her pancakes.

”She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and she would have picked my pancakes” You teased.

She smacked your arm and you rub your arm. You eat her pancakes you like it.

Sam showed you old pictures from high school and old memories and you can't stop smiling. You tell Ruby how you met Sam and how became friends then lovers.

”How this book is old,” Ruby said.

”It was Y/N’s book and it was called Jane Eyre. It was English and I didn't have a book, so Y/N let me have his book so can I do my work. Remembering now, I kept the book because that's what I had left of him. He wrote little notes in the book how some parts he didn't like and he had doodled on every page” Sam said.

Sam showed the doodles to Ruby and you smiled.

#Sam Arias x Male Reader #Sam Arias imagine #supergirl imagine #sam arias x reader

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waywardaardvark79 · 5 years

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No Strings Attached Part 7: Road Trip

Summary: Your roommates old friend moves to town and the two of you quickly strike up a no strings attached relationship. How long will the two of you be able to hold up what was supposed to be a simple, uncomplicated arrangement?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: language, smut

A/N: Updates should be every few days. No set schedule.

"You sure you got enough stuff?" Dean asked as he walked into your room to see you sitting on top of an over filled suitcase trying to zip it up.

You glanced over to your closet, "Shit, I might need a few more things." you said, suddenly questioning everything that you had packed.

Dean looked down at the two bags that were laying at the foot of your bed, "You know that we're gonna be back Sunday." he said as he watched you desperately pull at the zipper.

"You're right. It's not enough." you said in a panic as you jumped off your bag and raced to your closet, furiously flinging clothes around. Dean watched as you tossed clothes over your shoulder, mumbling nonsense under your breath.

He stepped to your side, placed his hands on your shoulders and spun you around to face him, "I'm gonna need you to take a deep breath, and calm down." he said.

You rolled your eyes, "I'm calm. I'm the fucking definition of calm. You look up calm in the dictionary and there's my picture." you argued.

"Well, you sure fooled me. What are you so worried about?" he asked, afraid that you were regretting your decision to tag along with him.

"I'm not worried. It's just I feel all this pressure, and I have to make sure I have options." you explained.

"Pressure? Options? What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, more confused by your reply.

You grabbed his hands and removed them from your shoulders before spinning around and digging back through your closet, "The whole point of me going on this trip is to basically show up your ex. So, I need to look amazing, and most of my clothes are jeans and ridiculous thrift store t-shirts, so yeah I may be freaking out a little. No, I lied. I may be freaking out a lot." you ranted as you pulled a t-shirt from your closet and waved it in Dean's face. "What am I supposed to do waltz in there in this, and be like oh, yeah I know you're jealous." you said as you shook the t-shirt back and forth.

Dean grabbed the shirt from your hands, and held it up so he could read it, "There's no place I'd rather be than beaver valley." he read out, trying to suppress his smile. "If it's stressing you out this much you don't have to come." he said, silently praying that you wouldn't agree.

"No." you said, stomping your foot dramatically to the ground, "I promised you an amazing fake girlfriend experience, and I'm going to deliver God damn it." you said poking your finger into his chest, emphasizing your point.

Dean sighed, "You're overthinking it. You always look good." he said genuinely.

"Oh, really? Did I look good last night when I was sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls in my underwear, polishing off a side of ribs?" you sarcastically asked.

"You've never looked better. It actually took my breath away." Dean teased.

"Oh, I'll take your fuckin' breath away, Freckles." you grumbled before walking back over to your bed, and throwing yourself down on it, sighing dramatically. Dean stepped up to the foot of the bed, looking down at you with a smile. You ran your hands over your face, "I think that's the solution to our problem. I kill you, then we don't have to go at all." you said.

"Why do you constantly threaten me with murder? I thought you liked me?" he asked, feigning hurt.

You shrugged your shoulders, "You're ok, I guess." you mumbled, your mood soured by your lack of presentable clothes.

"You're ok, I guess, the words every fake boyfriend longs to hear." he teased as he nudged you over to make room for him to lay down.

"Yeah, I'm basically a Hallmark card." you shot back.

"Y/N." Dean said, trying to get you to look at him, but you turned your head in the opposite direction. "Y/N." he tried again, causing you to cross your arms over your chest. "All right, you asked for it." he said, as he rolled on top of you, grabbing your arms, and pinning them above your head.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" you asked.

"Getting you to pay attention to me." he said.

You chuckled, "Not gonna work." you said as you squeezed your eyes shut and started to loudly hum.

"Y/N, you're being childish." he said.

"No....hmmmm...I'm ....hmmmm.....not." you hummed out.

Dean rolled his eyes at you, "You are worrying over stupid shit that doesn't matter. Would you just talk to me?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Y/N is in the middle of a crisis right now and can't come to the phone, I would say leave a message, and she'll call you back, but she's shit at returning calls so try again later." you said in an overly cheerful voice before closing your eyes and resuming your humming. You felt Dean's tongue lick a long wet strip up the side of your face, causing your eyes to pop open. "Did you just lick my fucking face? Who's childish now? " you asked, as Dean stared down at you.

"You wouldn't listen so I had to resort to drastic measures." he said, echoing your own words you had used when you pushed him out of bed back to you.

You sighed dramatically, "Fine, I'm listening." you said.

"I know you think you have to deliver this Oscar worthy performance, but just the fact that you're gonna be there is good enough for me." he said.

"What if I embarrass you. I'm not exactly the take home to mom girl." you said, in a small voice. Dean's heart broke a little at your words. He had never seen you so unsure of yourself. You normally radiated confidence.

"You could never embarrass me." he sincerely said, his words bringing a smile to your face.

"Don't challenge me, Freckles." you replied, a little of your old self peeking through.

Dean chuckled at your reply, "So, no more freaking out? You good?" he asked.

"Pfft...I'm fuckin' awesome." you said, Dean laughing out loud at your reply.

"There's my girl." he said before placing a quick kiss to your lips, and rolling off of you. He pushed himself up off the bed, "I gotta run down to the garage, and fill Benny in on a few things, and then I'll be back to pick you up. I shouldn't be more than a few hours." he said.

"I'll be ready." you replied. Dean gave you a smile before walking out the door. You listened, waiting to hear the door to the apartment close before you picked up your phone and dialed, "Charlie, I need your help." you said.

Dean walked through the door a few hours later, your two bags and yourself waiting for him on the couch. "You ready?" you asked.

"Just got to grab my stuff." he said as he walked down the hall to your room, the one bag he had packed ready by the door.

You heard him making his way back down the hall, "So, I was wondering what car you wanted to take. We could probably fit more stuff in yours." he said.

You narrowed your eyes at him, "You could literally fit a couple bodies in your trunk. You wouldn't just be suggesting we take mine on the off chance that I might let you drive?" you asked, knowing exactly what he was up to.

Dean scoffed, "No."

"You sure?" you asked.

"I just don't understand why you won't let me drive it." he said.

"You don't let me drive yours." you shot back

. "Because I've seen how you drive." he replied.

You rolled your eyes at him, "You're so dramatic. I've gotten us back in one piece every time, haven't I?" you asked as you started to pick up your bags.

Dean walked to the couch, pushing your hand away as he grabbed both bags. "Barely." he said under his breath as he walked to the door. You followed behind him, stepping out into the hall and locking the door behind you.

The two of you walked downstairs into the lobby, Dean pouting because you wouldn't let him drive. You pushed open the door and held it for him, his arms currently full, and made your way to the car. Dean opened the passenger side door and placed the bags in the backseat. "Hey." you called out, catching his attention. You tossed him your keys, "I don't want to be stuck in the car with your grumpy ass all day." you said as you walked around the front of the car.

Dean was smiling ear to ear as he practically raced to the driver's side before you could change your mind. You climbed in, closing the door behind you, tossing your bag down at your feet. Dean slid in behind the wheel, running his hands gently over it, "I've been wanting to do this for so long." he quietly said.

"Do I need to step out and give you a minute." you teased.

"Joke all you want, I don't care, nothing you say is gonna ruin this." he replied as he cranked the engine.

You pulled your camera from your bag and snapped a picture, "I don't think I've ever seen you so excited." you said, your smile mirroring his as you let the top down.

Dean smiled over at you, "Ready?" he asked.

"Hit it, Freckles." you replied before Dean spun out of the parking lot.

The two of you had been driving for a few hours, talking, laughing, and singing along to your ridiculous road trip playlist you had made. You turned down the music, "How much longer?" you asked.

"Should be there in about an hour." Dean replied.

"So, we have some time to spare, then?" you asked as you looked down at your phone.

Dean glanced over at you, "Yeah, why?" he asked.

"And you said that we were going to Lawrence?" you asked.

Dean nodded, unsure of what you were getting at, "I did." he said.

"Do you think we could make a little uh, detour before we get to your parent's place?" you asked.

"Just spit it out." he said.

"It says they have a Museum of Odd there, and I really want to go. It says it has Elvis' underwear, Bob Barker's toothbrush, and a couch with 350 sock monkeys piled on it." you excitedly rambled out.

"You're completely serious aren't you?" Dean asked, already knowing the answer.

"Uh, duh, I mean, who wouldn't want to see that?" you asked.

"Most people, Y/N, most people." Dean replied, a smile on his face.

"Well, I'm not most people." you said.

Dean reached over and patted your thigh, "I know." he said, a soft smile on his face.

"So, can we go?" you asked?

Dean glanced over at you for a moment before turning his attention back to the road, "Let's go see some underwear and sock monkeys." he replied.

You beamed over at him, "Not just any underwear, Elvis' underwear." you said.

"Well, let's go see Elvis' underwear then." he said, a smile on his face as he thought about how insane that sentence sounded, but when he looked over at, your face lit up in a bright smile, he knew that no matter how insane he thought it was, he would go see Elvis' underwear a thousand times just to make you smile.

The two of you pulled up outside of a small, slightly run down looking house. "I thought you said this was a museum?" Dean asked.

"It is." you said as you opened your door and eagerly scrambled out, Dean quickly following after you.

You started to head for the door, an excited bounce in your step, but Dean reached out and grabbed your wrist, "Are you sure?" he asked, "Cause it looks a little sketchy." he finished.

"Yes, I'm sure. This guy runs it out of his house. I already messaged him and told him we were coming, tours are by appointment only." you said.

"Yeah, I can see why. He's probably gonna lure us inside, kill us, and then add our bodies to his collection." Dean argued.

"I wonder if I could get him to add my body to the sock monkey couch?" you sarcastically asked.

Dean rolled his eyes at you, "Seriously, Y/N?" he asked.

"Look, if we go in here and end up being added to this guys weird collection, I'll never ask you to do anything again." you said.

"Yeah, I know because we will be DEAD." Dean said emphasizing the word.

You dramatically sighed, "I know that Dean, I'm not an idiot. Obviously, I meant when our spirits are trapped inside that museum for all eternity, I won't ask you to do anything. Ghost me won't ask you to do a damn thing since I was the reason we died." you said.

"Well, obviously. I mean, how could that not have been my first thought." Dean sassed.

You placed your hands on your hips, "You done?" you asked. Dean took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. "What are you doing?" you asked impatiently.

"Preparing for my death." he said as he cracked one eye open at you.

You grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the door, "Don't worry, Freckles. I won't let anything happen to you." you teased.

You and Dean stood in front of a couch, covered in sock monkeys. "So, that's what a couch with 350 sock monkeys looks like." you said as you raised your camera and snapped yet another picture.

"Did it live up to your expectations?" he asked.

"It actually surpassed them." you replied, completely serious as you walked out of the room. You thanked the owner again for the tour and walked out the front door, Dean by your side.

"That was..." Dean started.

"Fucking awesome." you finished.

"Not what I was going to say, but sure, let's go with fuckin' awesome." he said.

"It was, and we didn't die." you said, wiggling your eyebrows at him as you opened your door and slid inside.

Dean climbed inside and started the engine. You grabbed a pair of sunglasses and popped them on, "I know you didn't want to go, but thanks for taking me." you said.

"I actually had a pretty good time." Dean said as he pulled away from the curb.

"See, it was a good idea after all." you replied.

Dean just smiled over at you before focusing his attention back on the road, not telling you that he didn't give a damn about the sock monkeys or the famous underwear, he only cared about making you happy.

Dean pulled into the driveway of his parent's house. "So, this is it?" you asked, nervously drumming your fingers on the seat.

"This is it." he said as he turned off the engine. You pulled in a shaky breath, the confidence you had mustered earlier completely fading. You swallowed around the lump in your throat. "Hey, everything is gonna be fine." Dean said, noticing the panicked look in your eye.

"We don't have a backstory." you spit out

. "What?" he asked.

"You know a cute backstory. I'm not just gonna walk in there and be like oh, we had sex the first night we met, didn't even know each others last name, and I was kinda iffy on what his first name was, and we been bangin' ever since." you rambled out.

"Yeah, maybe don't say it like that." Dean said.

"You're not helping." you replied.

"Just tell them we met through Charlie. It's not a lie and you don't have to construct an elaborate backstory. Also, probably wouldn't say anything about us bangin'." Dean teased.

"Well fuck, there went my opener." you sassed

. "Just be yourself and they'll love you." Dean said as he opened the door and got out.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, "You got this, Y/N." you whispered to yourself as you plastered a smile on your face and got out of the car. You grabbed one of your bags from Dean, "You ready?" he asked.

"I pretty much feel like I want to run away or puke so, I guess I'm good to go." you replied as you followed Dean to the door.

Dean pushed open the door, gesturing for you to go inside first, before following after you. "Mom! Dad! We're here!" he yelled.

A few moments later a pretty blonde woman stepped into the room, a huge smile on her face as she pulled Dean into a hug. "I'm so happy you're home, sweetheart." she said as she pulled back from him, giving him a good look over. You remained silent swaying back and forth on your feet a little, her attention suddenly focusing on you. "And you must be Y/N. I'm Mary. It's so good to meet you. We were so happy when Dean told us he was bringing you along. We couldn't wait to meet you with the way he talks about you." she said before pulling you into a hug.

"He talks about me?" you asked.

Mary pulled back and looked at you a little funny, "Of course he does. You're practically all we have heard about since he moved." she said.

You glanced over at Dean, his cheeks a bright shade of red as he cleared his throat, "Mom, where do you want us to put our bags?" He asked quickly trying to change the subject.

"You guys can put your stuff in your old room." she said.

"I'll just go up there first and make room for everything." Dean said as he started to head towards the stairs, you starting after him. "Just give me a minute." he said to you.

You raised your eyebrows, "And miss out on whatever embarrassing things you are trying to hide? I don't think so, Freckles. I mean, Dean." you corrected, trying not to embarrass him with the nick name that you graced him with.

Mary gave the two of you a knowing smile, "Your dad and Sam should be back soon. You guys go get settled." she said as she started to head into what you guessed was the kitchen. The two of you started up the stairs, "I'll let you know when they get back, Freckles." she called out.

You stopped in your tracks, "Fuck, I'm sorry. It just kind of slipped." you said. "Kind of blowing it already, ain't I?" you asked.

Dean chuckled, "No, I think you're gonna fit right in." he said.

The two of you rounded the corner and Dean opened the door to his childhood bedroom, ushering you inside. "I thought I was going to walk in here and see something embarrassing." you said, as you looked around, spotting nothing out of the ordinary. You flopped down on the bed, "This is gonna be a tight fit." you said referring to the twin sized bed.

Dean wiggled his eyebrows at you, "Guess, you'll just have to sleep on top of me." he said.

"Oh no, don't even go there. We are not doing anything at your parent's house." you said, quickly sitting up.

"What? Why not?" Dean whined.

"Because I said so." you stated.

Dean stalked over to you, "You're gonna have to do better than that." he said.

"Because they will hear us, and I want them to like me. I kind of thought that was the reason I was here." you said.

"So, we'll be quiet." Dean said as he pushed you back down on the bed, his arms caging you in as he hovered over you

. "Yeah, when have we ever done that? Your charm isn't going to work on me, Freckles." you said, obviously lying.

Dean placed a gentle kiss to your lips, "You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." you said as Dean started to trail kisses down your neck.

"Still sure?" he asked.

You let out a shaky breath, "Yep." you breathed out.

Dean shifted his weight, his free hand tracing circles just under the hem of your shirt as he kissed his way back up your neck, "Still sure?" he asked.

"Not so much." you said, feeling him smile against your skin.

"Maybe we can take a drive after the rehearsal dinner tonight." he suggested.

"After the rehearsal?" you asked

. "If that's ok with you." he said.

"I was kind of thinking right now, but I guess after rehearsal will do." you replied, Dean breaking out into a laugh before getting up.

"And you said my charm wouldn't work on you." he said as he held out a hand to help you up.

"Don't get cocky, Freckles." you warned, as he pulled you to your feet.

The two of you were half way down the stairs when the front door opened, "Dean." you heard someone say.

"Sammy." Dean replied before rushing the rest of he way down the stairs and engulfing the giant into a hug.

"It's good to see you, man." Sam said as he patted Dean on the back before pulling back.

"Dad." Dean said to the man behind Sam. You watched as they quickly embraced, deciding to keep your place in the background, not wanting to interrupt the moment.

Dean's dad made eye contact with you and you smiled at him as you made your way to the bottom of the stairs. "Think you forgot to introduce us to someone." he said.

"Oh, sorry. Dad, Sam this is." Dean started.

"Y/N." the man said with a bright smile as he stepped up to you, holding out his hand for you to shake. "John." he said, as you shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you, John." you replied.

"Is that your car out front?" he asked.

"Yep, it's all mine." you said.

"It's a real beauty. What year is it?" he asked.

"'54." you replied.

John nodded his head, a low sound of approval coming from his throat. "I can see why this one is so taken with you. You know he talks about you all the time." he said before turning to Dean, "You said she was pretty son, but I think you sold her short." John said.

"Dad!" Dean barked out

. "Aww...I think you're pretty too, Dean." you said, Sam and John erupting into laughter.

"I like her. She's a keeper." John said to Dean.

"Hi, I'm Sam." Sam greeted as he offered his hand to you.

"Nice to meet you, Sam." you replied straining your neck to look up at him.

"He really does talk about you all the time. I sorta feel like I know you." he said.

"Guys, please." Dean pleaded.

"You two get in here and lend me a hand, and quit embarrassing Dean." Mary yelled from the kitchen.

"Guess, we're in trouble." John said as he gave Sam a gentle shove towards the kitchen.

You watched them walk away, a smile on your face, before walking over to Dean. "So, you talk about me all the time, huh." you said.

Dean sighed, "God, they make me sound like a creepy stalker." he said.

You raised your hand and pinched his cheek, "At least you're a cute, creepy stalker." you said, Dean rolling his eyes at you and trying to hide his smile

. Sam poked his head into the room, "Just wanted to let you guys know that we're gonna head out in like an hour." he said before ducking back into the kitchen.

"We better go get ready." you said as you linked your arm with his and started back up the stairs.

"Y/N!" Dean called out as he knocked on the bathroom door, "Come on. We gotta go." he finished.

"Just a minute." you said, checking yourself over in the mirror once more, completely out of your comfort zone. You grabbed the door knob, took a deep breath, and pulled the door open.

"I thought we were gonna be....." Dean trailed off as he took you in. Your hair hung down in loose curls, your make up simple, yet elegant, the long, laced sleeve burgundy dress that stopped just above your knees fit you like a glove.

Dean was standing in front of you in black dress pants, and a crisp long sleeved white dress shirt, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. You looked down at the dress, and sighed, "I knew it. I never should have let them talk me into this one. It's stupid. I look stupid." you said.

"No, no, no, no, you look...you...you're beautiful." Dean choked out

. A smile lit up your face and you looked down at the dress, "Really?" you asked

. Dean swallowed before nodding his head, "Really." he said.

"I just got to grab my shoes and I'll be ready to go." you said as you walked across the hall into Dean's room. Dean followed you, grabbing his jacket from the back of the desk chair, and sliding it on. You looked up at him from the edge of the bed as you put on your heels. "You look really good, too." you said as you stood up.

Dean offered his arm to you, "You ready?" he asked.

"Let's go Freckles." you said with a smile as the two of you started out of the room.

You sat by Mary's side at the rehearsal, Dean being Sam's best man meant that he was busy, and he was sure to voice his complaints to his brother. "I just really don't understand why we have to practice walking. I mean, you put one foot in front of the other. How hard is that?" Dean asked.

"Because Jess said we needed a rehearsal." Sam said, trying to be patient with his brother. "Just like if Y/N asked you to have one, I know you would do it." Sam finished.

"That's the thing though, Y/N would never ask me to do this." Dean said.

Sam sighed, "Ok, fine, but my point is if she asked you to do something you would do it to make her happy." Sam said. Dean looked over at you, your hands gesturing wildly as his mom laughed at whatever you were telling her, and smiled. "You don't even have to say anything. I can tell by the way you look at her." Sam said as he slapped Dean on the back. "Now get back to your spot." he ordered.

Dean slid into the spot next to you, "Finally." he breathed out causing you to chuckle.

"You all done?" you asked.

"Yes. I still don't understand the point of it. I mean, it's just walking." he grumbled.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better you looked really good out there, superb walking." you said, the corner of your mouth turning up.

Dean chuckled, "So, my walking looked good?" he teasingly asked.

"Are you kidding me? You were the best walker out there. 10 out of 10, I would totally watch you walk again." you said, Dean's shoulders shaking with laughter

. Dean pulled you closer to him and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, "I'm really glad you came." he whispered against them.

"I'm always good for comic relief." you said.

Dean tucked a curl behind your ear, "I can think of plenty of other things you are good for." he said, causing you to swat his chest.

"Don't start that here. None, of that is allowed until after we leave here." you said.

Dean glanced down at his watch, "I did the practice walk. Let's get out of here." he said as he grabbed your hand.

"Yeah, and what are we gonna tell everybody?" you asked.

Dean looked around, "They won't even notice we're gone." he said.

You glanced around the room and shrugged your shoulders, "What the hell. Let's go." you said as you started to stand up, Dean quickly jumping up and pulling you to your feet. "Jesus, Dean, slow down." you hissed as he dragged you behind him.

"Sorry." he said as he slowed his steps. "It's just you in that dress is hard to take." he said glancing back at you as he pulled you through the door.

"Car. Now." you said, tempted to kick off your heels so you could walk faster.

You squeaked when Dean scooped you up bridal style, and took off to the car, "I've waited long enough." he said.

Dean placed you on your feet by the passenger side door, his body pressed to yours, as his lips met yours in a hungry kiss. You broke the kiss, "Get in and drive." you demanded.

"Drive?" he asked.

"We are not doing this in the parking lot of a church." you said

. "I'll ask for forgiveness, problem solved." he replied

. "Drive." you ordered. Dean quickly pushed himself from you and ran around the side of the car, practically jumping behind the wheel.

"Get a move on, sweetheart." he said as you opened the door and slid inside. Dean cranked the engine and peeled out of the parking lot.

You raised your hips off the seat and worked your panties down your legs, quickly kicking your heels off and pulling them the rest of the way off. You tossed them into Dean's lap, a low moan sounding from his throat, "You're killin' me." he said.

You slid over in the seat until you were pressed to his side, "I haven't even done anything yet." you purred into Dean's ear. He started to look over at you, "Eyes on the road." you warned before pulling his ear lobe into your mouth and giving it a teasing bite causing Dean to whimper. You scooted back into the seat, giving yourself room to lay down.

You worked your way onto your stomach, your head hovering over Dean's lap. "Whatcha doin', sweetheart?" Dean anxiously asked.

"You'll see." you said as your hand worked open his belt, quickly popping the button on his dress pants, and easing down his zipper. Dean sucked in a quick breath when he felt you free him from his pants, "Looks like someone is happy to see me." you said before reaching out with your tongue and giving him a teasing lick.

"It's not nice to tease." Dean rasped out as you slowly pumped him up and down.

"Well, I'm not very nice." you said, twisting your wrist as you went over the head of his cock

. "Y/N." Dean pleaded, his voice dripping with desperation. You took him into your mouth slowly working your way down, taking him as deep as you could while you ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock. You hollowed your cheeks as you made your way back up and released him with a wet pop.

Dean's hands were white knuckling the wheel as you took him back into your mouth, increasing your pace a little and swallowing around him when he hit the back of your throat. "Fuck." Dean moaned, his head thrown back causing the car to swerve a little.

You popped up, "You wreck my car, it'll be the last thing you ever do." you warned.

Dean pulled to the side of the road, looking in both directions to make sure the road was clear before pulling you into his lap, "I can't wait anymore." he said as he hiked up your dress.

Your fingers fumbled with the buttons of Dean's shirt, not being able to take it off all the way, but having the need to feel his skin. You raised yourself up the best you could, the limited space not allowing you much movement. You placed your hands on Dean's shoulders, whining when you felt him rub himself through your folds, coating himself in your slick. "It isn't nice to tease." you said, throwing his own words back at him, as you plunged yourself down onto his cock, the two of you moaning when your body met his.

Dean tangled his hands in your hair, pulling you to him in bruising kiss. You knew that you didn't have much time being out in the open like this so you set a fast pace, pulling yourself almost completely off of him before slamming back down.

The two of you were panting, moans and the slapping of skin against skin filling the car as you repeatedly slammed yourself down on him. The windows of the car were completely fogged over, your thighs beginning to shake with your efforts. Dean's hands gripped your hips as he started to thrust up into you, one of your hands bracing against the top of the car to keep your head from hitting it. "Oh, fuck, right there." you moaned as Dean's cock pounded away at your g-spot.

You felt his grip on your hip loosen as he brought his thumb to your clit rubbing fast, hard circles against it. "Come on baby, I know you're close." he said, as he pounded into you relentlessly. He pulled you down harshly to him, the feeling of him pulsing inside you and the pressure he was putting on your clit, sending you over the edge.

You arched your back, as Dean worked you through your orgasm. "Oh, fuck." you panted, your heart racing.

The flash of oncoming headlights caught Dean's attention, "Baby, as much as I don't want you to, you have to move." he said, motioning to the oncoming car. You worked your way out of his lap, and plopped down next to him, searching for your panties while Dean started the car.

He pulled up into the driveway of his parent's house, their car in the driveway. "I was hoping we would get back before they did." you said as you attempted to straighten your hair.

Dean buckled his belt and climbed out of the car, grabbing your panties from the floorboard and tossing them to you. "Thanks." you said as you managed to wiggle into them.

You climbed out of the car, your hands smoothing your dress as the two of you made your way to the door. Dean opened it as quietly as he could, hoping that the two of you could sneak in, but Mary was making her way down the stairs. "I was wondering where you two snuck off to." she said, a knowing smile on her face.

"We, uh, just went for a drive." Dean said, not making eye contact with her as he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the stairs.

Mary stopped on the last step, "You missed a button." she said, pointing to Dean's shirt, her smile growing wider. Dean just nodded, unable to say anything at the moment. "Goodnight, kids." Mary called out.

"Goodnight." you said.

"Night, Mom." Dean choked out, the tips of his ears a little red.

He pushed open the door to his room, pulling you inside, and quickly closing the door. He kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his jacket, tossing it over the chair before slipping out of his pants.

You made your way to your bag, grabbed something to sleep in before kicking off your heels, and slipping off your dress. "I really should take a shower, but I'm so tired." you said as you pulled the t-shirt over your head and plopped down on the bed.

"We can do it in the morning." Dean said as he nudged you to scoot over.

"I don't think we're both gonna fit." you said as you scooted to the edge of the bed.

Dean turned on his side, and pulled you back against him, "There, now you have more room." he said as he tangled his legs with yours, his arm laying over your waist.

You snuggled into him, "I had a good time today. Your family is really nice." you said.

"They all love you, you know. I don't know what you were so worried about." he said before yawning.

"Get some sleep, Freckles." you yawned out

. "Night, Y/N." Dean said as he gave you a gentle squeeze, the two of you drifting off to sleep not long after.

#supernatural #supernatural au #supernatural fic #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester #reader insert #dean #spn fic #spn #smut

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actuallyadhd · 7 years

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I'm sorry, this is going to be long, but I'm so distraught right now I don't know what to do. How can I forgive my mom for not getting me diagnosed or help? I have been exhibiting symptoms of ADHD pretty much since birth. By middle school I also developed severe depression and moderate anxiety. In 6th grade it was suggested that I get tested for ADHD, and after the initial evaluation they said I probably had mild to moderate, and my mom decided I could cope with it on my own.

She tried tutoring but 3 weeks into the school year she had to stop because of personal issues, and that was the end of that. In 7th grade I was bulled really bad, and I was always getting in trouble in school for doing horribly, and I was getting yelled at a lot at home because everyone in my family before me grandparents, aunts, uncles, mom, and cousins all got straight A’s and all went into either Ivy League, top their engineering, or elite women’s colleges, & I was struggling not to fail out

I was honestly so depressed that I was ready to kill myself 12 years old. I tried telling my mom I thought I was depressed but she just yelled at me and told me I was being over dramatic and said everyone my age felt that way. I was to afraid to tell my mom to what extent because she had also threatened me with physical violence if she found out I was self-harming (which I also was lol). So I go through middle school barely scraping by. High school was a little better,

but I still sucked so much, the only reason I didn’t just completely and utterly fail school was because I found sports that I loved and was good at. If it wasn’t for them I probably would have failed out of high school, and not have gone to college. Again I was barely scraping by and junior year I actually ended up on academic probation and couldn’t do my sports and I actually came really close to killing myself, I probably would have if not for being interrupted like 15 seconds after starting.

I was still self harming & my mom would get at least 2 phone calls/emails home a year about it & she would blow it off once in a while she would confront me mostly she would yell but sometimes she’d say something like “I don’t care if you do it, just make sure no one else finds out” I tried asking for help a few more times between age 16 and 19, the most she did was make one email and when she never heard back she was just “🤷🏻‍♀️ I tried” but usually it was “what do you want me to do about it

I did end up going to a Division 1 University for sports, but at this point I had been put down by many people I was to afraid to ask for help. It wasn’t until fall jr. year when I had a really low gpa that the ADHD thing came up again, the more I looked into it the more I realized it described me to a T. But even though at this point I was 20, my mom still actively prevented me from getting help. I was NCAA ineligible fall senior year (due to shitty advisor) & again in the spring, due to gpa.

I was originally going to red shirt, but because my gpa sucked at the end of the spring my coach decided to just kick me off. I ended up having a breakdown and spent the summer lying and going behind my moms back to finally get help and I was eventually diagnosed with depression anxiety and eventually one of the most severe cases ADHD my psychiatrist has seen. I’m happy I finally realize that, hey, I’m not just lazy and stupid, and I’m course to get my life back on track,

but there are so many things that I missed out on growing up, and even this year that I can’t do, that I’ve always wanted to do. I’m not going to get the plaque all my teammates or recognition of being a 4 year Varsity athlete that my friends will because I got kicked off because of my gpa, I’m not allowed to rush, something I’ve always wanted to do, because of my gpa, I can’t get into grad school, even if I get straight A’s in all of my remaining classes because my gpa will still be too low.

I did end up telling my mom about my diagnoses and she didn’t realize half the things I did were ADHD symptoms, and she didn’t realize what some of the symptoms (such as impulsiveness) included, and on one hand I understand, but also I just can’t find it in my heart to forgive her. I was a child and didn’t know any better, and her constant yelling and put downs and telling me I’m over dramatic made me to scared to do anything about as an adult until I was literally past the point of no return.

That’s soooo hard. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

I don’t know about getting into grad school because I couldn’t have gotten in for the same reason (luckily I wasn’t interested in doing grad school for what my undergrad was in). I think a lot about that depends on what you want to do with your life. Is grad school required? If so, talk to your advisor and see if you can get help figuring out a way to fix the GPA problem. If not, or at least not right away, take a few years off and then look at how you get in as a mature student; that is, someone who’s been out of school for a while. Often they’ll take life and work experience into account for that sort of thing, and then they might want you to take a few undergrad level courses and maintain a particular GPA in those before they admit you. (This is based on what I’ve gathered from conversations with my husband, who is hoping to start his PhD soon, part-time, while working, after being out of school for ten years. It could be wildly inaccurate.)

As for your mom, it’s complicated. On the one hand, yeah, she didn’t know better and so that’s understandable. On the other hand, she was told and did nothing, you asked for help and she did nothing, and she got after you for things you couldn’t control and never actually tried to look into what might be causing those things to happen all the time. So she definitely fell down on the job, and you’re the one who has to pay for it.

Now, I’ve got good parents and I tend to be baffled about poor parent-child relationships in general, but something I do know about is what forgiveness is and is not.

Forgiveness is not “I’m letting you off the hook for all the crap you did to me.”

Forgiveness is “I’m choosing not to harbour anger and resentment towards you for the crap you did to me.”

Forgiveness is not “we can have a great, close, personal relationship even though you did all that crap to me.”

Forgiveness is “I am not going to let you do that crap to me again/anymore, and that means we aren’t going to have a (close) relationship (of any kind) for a while/ever again.”

So you can forgive your mother for what she did, but that does not mean you have to open yourself up to be hurt by her again. You can protect yourself from that, and you can also choose not to be bitter about the past. We can’t change the past, we can only control what we do as we move forward.

Forgiveness isn’t easy, and you should only do it if you want to. It’s letting go of the negativity (releasing negative energy, if you’re into that kind of thing) and making room for the positive that you can make happen in the future.

-J

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