#I'm just so damn proud of this lizard

[fbwzoo]

Look at him hop!!!

[dotster001]

Day 26: Imagine your otp handing out candy in amusing couples costumes

Summary: Leona x gn!reader

"Leona, c'mon…."

"Not on your life, herbivore."

Even though your boyfriend was a fourth year, and off campus, he had agreed to come back to Ramshackle to help you and Grim run your station, since Crowley decided you should actually do one this year. 

To your credit, you had told Leona what the costumes would be ahead of time. He just must not have taken you seriously. And now he was hiding in one of the Ramshackle rooms.

"Leona, baby, please," you pleaded, eying a very restless Grim, who was about to start eating your candy supply.

"Look, I came all the way here, that should be support enough," he growled.

You were about to make a come back about how he was the one who offered to come in the first place, but Grim beat you to it, banging his kitty fists against the door.

"The Great Grim is HUNGRY! My Henchhuman says we can't leave without you, and if we can't leave, we can't have candy, so COME OUT OR I'LL BLOW THE DOOR DOWN!"

                                       ….

You…you didn't think Grim was capable of actually blowing the door down. You looked in in horror at the remaining splinters of the door, as Grim looked at you apologetically, and Leona laughed boisterously.

"Gotta hand it to you, fur ball, you got some bite to you," he laughed.

Grim scowled, "this is all your fault, you big nasty lion!"

Leona just laughed again, before sighing heavily, and standing up to wrap his arms around you.

"I'm sorry your cat is so trigger happy," he muttered, pressing a kiss or two to your neck. You shot him a nasty glare.

"Honestly, both of you!" You tried to throw your arms up in exasperation, but Leona's arms around you were too tight for that.

"Grim, we've talked about this, fireballs aren't the answer, and Leona. What's wrong with dragon costumes?" You asked almost hysterically.

"What do you mean what's wrong with dragon costumes?" He growled.

"What do you mean, what do you mean?" You growled back as best your average human vocal cords could allow.

His hold on you hadn't loosened, despite his apparent anger.

"It is a proud tradition, dating back to last year, that we at Ramshackle have a dragon theme," you said, rolling your eyes, and trying to squirm out of your boyfriend's grip.

His grip tightened, and he resumed pressing kisses to your neck, saying, "And who started that tradition, my sweet innocent herbivore?" 

" Malleus…oh," you giggled.

"That's right, the damned lizard,so… hey stop laughing. You are in no position to laugh."

"Oh, I think I am, kitty cat, cause it looks to me like you're too scared to dress up like Malleus Draconi…ah!" 

You got cut off by Leona quickly turning you so you faced him, and kissing you deeply.

"Keep his name out of your mouth, and I'll wear the stupid costume," he purred against your mouth.

You were about to agree to the terms, when Grim went running out of the room, crying, "Ew! Cooties!"

You sighed, agreed to his terms, then ran after Grim to, hopefully, save your candy, while your boyfriend finished changing into his costume.

[tea-plantz]

helurr!! i'd like to request a polyam with myc and andre finding out their S/O has a split tongue/ a tongue piercing? Its alright if you won't do my ask! If i'm being too vague thats mb this is like my first ask ever so ;-;

Hello honey! Don’t worry you aren’t coming of to strong or anything, and thank you so much for following! This was honestly a really creative request and I had a lotta fun writing it!

They/them for Myc (I was a bit unsure about Myc’s pronouns, so I decided to just play it safe)

He/him for Andre

They/them for the reader

!tw! Sexual language, slight NSFW content

[Andre Lee and Myc x reader with a split tongue]

Let me tell you, when these guys saw your split tongue, they thought it was the coolest thing like EVER! Both of them were swarming you, and totally swooning.

It was just a normal-ish day at Cognito inc. and you were taking selfies with Gigi for her insta. For one of the pictures you stuck out your tongue while holding up a pice sign, exposing your split. When Gigi saw, she shouted loudly, making heads turn, including your two lovers. “Oh my god, baby girl look at you! You have one of those split tongues! Damn honey, you are killin’ that oh krrr”

Immediately, Myc and Andre was by your side asking you to show them. You awkwardly stuck out your tongue and with a nervous smile. “Whoa dude, that is so awesome! Let me touch it.” “What-“

Myc probably already knew about this, since y’know, he can read minds and stuff, however he had never actually seen it in person before. Therefore he found it super cool and super attractive, seeing it for himself. You guys had a couple of… weird conversations afterwards.

“Can I stick my tentacles in between it?” “No!” “What about my di-“

Andre on the other hand did not know that you had a split tongue, and boy let me tell you, he was EXCITED! At first he was really curious, and asked you a bunch of questions about it, like how it felt to eat, how long you’ve had it, and If you could do any sort of tricks with it. Then after a while he started asking some not so child friendly questions. I mean, c’mon it’s Andre! And now that he is aware that his s/o has a split tongue, there is a LOT of other ‘activities’ he wanna try out with you, if you catch my drift.

Honestly it was sort of a mix between “holy hell, you look so fucking hot! What can it do?” and “I wonder what a bj would feel like”

Both of them are probably gonna make a bunch of dirty jokes about it, making you all flustered. And since they’re both complete perverts, they’re gonna get quite excited whenever they see that expression on you, red faced and all.

They probably also joked around, saying that you were secretly one of those lizard people, and that’s why you have a ‘reptile tongue’.

Myc and Andre are totally gonna show it off to EVERYONE in the office, with a proud expression on their face as they held you in front of them. These weirdos takes a lot of pride in you, and honestly, it’s a bit cute.

“Hey, did you know that our super sexy s/o, Y/n, has a split tongue? Don’t they just look like the most attractive person you’ve ever seen?” “Yes assholes, I know! You guys literally just showed me that like two minutes ago!” Reagen was just done at this point.

All in all, they both absolutely love your tongue, and they probably even fantasize about it too-

Okey okey, all dirty jokes aside, Andre and Myc are both really fascinated with your tongue, and they think it’s sweet with how it makes you stand out.

Sorry for not making this too long, but I honestly didn’t know what more to add into the hcs. And again, thank you for the request!

[emails-i-cant-send]

Hi I'm Este/Asterion, I have two names since I am genderfluid if you were wondering. I'd love to be your friend so why don't you come lay with be in the grass while the sun is shining upon us? I don't care what song that we play, or mess that we make just company now.

"We rot, thinkin' lots about nothing... - I'm bisexual and not cis perhaps genderfluid - I'm a Hispanic mestiza, I'm proud of my culture - I'm diagnosed with adhd - I love to draw and make edits and layouts - I love music so much - I'm a Taurus - My favorite color is lavender - I might be aro spec idk ...Yeah, I could spend a lifetime, Sitting here talkin"

"I became such a strange shape, such a strange shape From trying to fit in... - Pinterest - Instagram - Spotify

...and now I'm just a jigsaw"

"Only got 12 hours in L.A., no time to waste, We'll sneak up to the fire escape and wait for the rain, And most days, dear, you drive me insane...

I have many interests some of those being The hunger Games,Owl House, Dragon School, pjo, hoO, toa, mcga, Six, SAO, mean girls the musical and movie, Beetlejuice the musical and movie, Heathers the musical since I haven't got the chance to watch the movie, a lot of musicals! 36 questions, heartstopper, the MCU, and there is probably more but my mind is blank. I also really love Greek mythology.

... playin' your games, Why don't we both push past the pain, so we can say, We felt it meet me in the middle of midnight"

"In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream....

My blorbos are: Alex Fierro, Hunter/The Golden Guard, Nico Di Angelo, Hazel Levesque, Emira Blight, Amity Blight, Regina George, Lydia deetz, Peter Parker, kirito.oh. and @austinwehaveaproblem Those are all I can think of right now

...It's like a million little stars spelling out your name"

"That's my fucking best friend, best friend That's my fucking lifeline, that's my ride or die, likе...

OK FIRST OF ALL shoutout to my favorite person in the whole entire world @posionshade secondly shoutout to some of my greatest friends on here <;3 @orhideintheclosets @austinwehaveaproblem @trlalsofapollo @bianca-di-stangelo @chaoticsunshines @loverrrrrr @tay-tayhasmyheart @italian-wall-lizard @aqueerembrace

...that's my fucking hate you, but you know that that's a damn lie"

"Parla, la gente purtroppo parla Non sa di che cazzo parla.....

This is kinda my dni, anyway dni if you're racist, homophobic, biphobic, panphobic, transphobic, ableist, think taylor swift can do no wrong,pro autism speak, people who don't believe adhd is a disability, t*rfs, r*dfems, like the dsmp or are a precico shipper, like ol*via r*drigo (<- unless I followed you first) sabrina carpenter anti or josua bassett anti. Other than that you are welcome on my blog!

....Tu portami dove sto a galla Che qui mi manca I'aria"

"This is not music, this is life...

My favorite singers and bands are, Taylor swift, måneskin, Sabrina Carpenter, Avril Lavigne, fall out boy, Joshua bassett, Conan gray and halsey! I am a strong believer the pop and rock are the best genres ever! I am always open to new music suggestions so feel free to send me an ask!

...this is what I live for"

At last, as the sun went down you seemed to understand that is was time for me to go.

"You'll come back?" you say

"Always" I promised "The sun always comes back"

"We are friends now" I say "Call on me I will be there for you"

[dohmalore]

3, 8, 16, 19, 35, 36, 40 for the pokémon asks (your sideblog's ask box doesn't seem to be open)

(Oh damn my bad. I didnt know you had to manually open the ask box dudbudbudbudvrjdv)(also didnt see this until just now,,,)

3 what's one pokémon you would really like to have as a partner?

Definitely a Lurantis...she is so big and pink and her raptorial forelimbs are so poggers...

8 what's one pokémon you like that people wouldn't expect?

I don't know how to answer this. I like a lot of pokemon that I think most people don't care for but I don't think anyone who knows me personally is surprised by the kinds of mons I like. I love bugs and weird little lizard guys!! And even pokemon I would never want to own I still like a lot!!

Like I really don't care for eevee. But I will still absolutely pet every single one I see in public.

Idk maybe Alolan Muk? I love those guys(COLORS!! TEETH!!!) but ppl might be surprised about it because I love smooching pokemon more than anything but they are not smoochable at all :(

16 what habit does one of your pokémon have that's unusual for its species?

My magmar is very sociable for a magmar. They're such a reclusive species that people don't think they're native to hoenn! They just don't show up on the free-catching routes very often! I'm pretty sure she only wandered down the mountain because of a minor eruption/lava flow.

And she was kinda runty as a magby so it was easy to ride the flow down but she had no way of getting back up. I'm told she started a minor forest fire(trying to stave off hypothermia) and thats how she ended up at the rescue in the first place.

19 what thing did/does your pokémon have the hardest time learning?

That my food is MINE. I don't share off my plate! No matter how cutely they stare at me the entire time I'm eating! It's not my fault you swallowed all your fish sticks whole in 2.4 seconds! Eat your salad!

Also been trying to teach magmar how to use a game controller for years. She has thumbs and isnt dumb. She knows how to use the oven. I just think she isn't into gaming 😔

Treecko has thumbs but he is also dumb as hell(i'm told he'll be smarter when he evolves, sceptile is like right on the cusp of dragon typing). He tries to eat the cursor on my computer. I have to keep the bathroom door shut because he will try to fight his reflection and/or drink out of the toilet if he gets in there.

But also he's a domestic treecko so he's been bred specifically for battling and he's really good at battle cues! I'm not much of a battler(I'll do friendly matches with kids, or against rowdy mons on our hikes) but I might get more into it just because he likes it so much.

35 how do you like to spend time with your pokémon?

We just chill mostly. If it's not too hot out I will take them hiking out in the woods/go to the shops with them.

36 name something about your partner pokémon that makes you really proud of them!

Always proud of them when they poop in the litter box/outside instead of leaving me stink surprises in the middle of the floor for me to step on in the dark.

40 what kind of pokémon (can be but doesn't have to be type!) are your favorite? why do you like them so much?

I like weird little lizard guys. And big lizard guys. They are so cute. I love the big ole eyes and the scales and their little hands & claws & teef & the way they stare at stuff & hunt & eat & ❤😍💞💞💖💕😍❤. Cute creatures!!! And also generally very clean and residue/odor free which I value a lot as an autistic person.

[bzedan]

June 2023 Playlist

It's JUNE! And it actually still is June, because I wanted to get this playlist out while it was still officially Pride Month since I'm proud of this queer little playlist. I'd shared some possible covers earlier, but of course, I settled on the Dio-inspired one. As much as I love dance-pop, at my heart, I am just a power-metal guy.

At 71 songs, this is the most packed list so far and is longer than even my birthday month playlist. I took a lot of inspo from a friend's playlist "Songs where the narrator is a lesbian against all evidence," as well as snagging quite a few songs from it (though I will note that Ginuwine's "Pony" had already made its way onto the playlist well before I'd figured the theme/vibe). Though a LOT of these songs are by queer artists of various flavours, there are also quite a few that are songs I enjoy recontextualised through a queer lens.

I don't know if you've ever made a playlist for a character* (whether an OC or your personal blorbo), but I've often found it to be a good exercise in the malleability of interpretation. Specifically, a very gay interpretation in the case of most of my character playlists. I tried to go no emotionally lower than wistful, because damn, friend, let's embrace joy.

And also, if you don't know why I ended this playlist with the song I did well, I finally played Portal 2 because of a Tumblr post.

Related media to some of the songs:

I'm not going to tell you what Mariah Angeliq's "Bobo" is a cover of, just start listening (and here's the music video) and enjoy.

"Lovefool" by The Cardigans is because of Romeo + Juliet, with  Harold Perrineau's beautiful heartbroken Mercutioand the best possible Tybalt.

I remain a fan of Pom Pom Squad's vibe and enjoy when a cover is a direct copywhen you do it with your whole ass.

Hello, can I interest you in the good word of Velvet Goldmine?

Big Freedia has been a constant fave for a long time, her latest album dropped recently, and "Bigfoot" is a jam.

Sure, you've seen Miike Snow's "Genghis Kahn" video but have you seen this version of it?

*And I do mean any flavour of character playlist - either songs they'd put together themself, songs about them, or vibe-based character playlists.

Anyway here's a link to June's playlist on Spotify, with the track list under the cut.

Also embedded, if you like that.

'Lovefool' - The Cardigans

'Never Get Ahead' - Bobby Conn

'Unusual Heat' - Foreigner

'Hang on to Your Love' - Sade

'Boy' - Book Of Love

'The Boys Of Summer' - Don Henley

'Shake Ya Ass' - Mystikal

'Dangerous' - Big Freedia

'I Touch Myself' - Divinyls

'Big Jeans Boy' - Louie Zong

'Papa Was a Rodeo' - The Magnetic Fields

'Daddy' - MAN ON MAN

'Career Boy' - Dorian Electra

'Hanging Around the Day, Pt. 2' - The Polyphonic Spree

'Us' - Jennifer Lopez

'Facility Girls' - Soft Cell

'Qui est cette fille?' - Yelle

'Heels' - Sir Babygirl

'The Way I Loved You' - REYNA

'All I Wanna Do' - Sheryl Crow

'Girls Just Want to Have Fun' - Cyndi Lauper

'Pepper' - Butthole Surfers

'She Is Beautiful' - Andrew W.K.

'Jolene' - Dolly Parton

'I'm Not Strong Enough to Say No' - BlackHawk

'Faces' - Sam Buck

'Sunday Morning' - No Doubt

'Here In Your Bedroom' - Goldfinger

'Kiss' - Prince

'Sucked Out' - Superdrag

'BOBO' - Mariah Angeliq

'Bad Liar' - Selena Gomez

'Satellite Of Love' - Lou Reed

'Baby's On Fire - 2004 Digital Remaster' - Brian Eno

'Boys of Summer' - Daddy Issues

'Normal' - Kodie Shane

'Red Wine Supernova' - Chappell Roan

'Hate Dancin'' - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

'Don't Speak' - No Doubt

'Cost Your Love' - Miya Folick

'Genghis Khan' - Miike Snow

'Grace Kelly' - MIKA

'Let 'Em Talk (feat. Eagles of Death Metal)' - Kesha

'Get Around To It' - Arthur Russell

'Caro' - Bad Bunny

'Mystery of Love' - Boy Jr.

'Rainbow in the Dark' - Dio

'Walk The Night' - Skatt Bros

'How Soon Is Now?' - t.A.T.u.

'Man To Man' - Dorian Electra

'You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)' - Sylvester

'Are They Actually Attractive?' - Boy Jr.

'Hounds Of Love' - Kate Bush

'Faith - Remastered' - George Michael

'A Little Respect' - Erasure

'Kiss from a Rose' - Seal

'It's Okay To Cry' - SOPHIE

'Why Did You Separate Me from the Earth?' - ANOHNI

'Hollow Days' - Twin Shadow

'New Slang' - Porridge Radio

'Popular (feat. Matthew Caws of Nada Surf)' - Pom Pom Squad

'Dead of Night' - Orville Peck

'Your Motion Says' - Arthur Russell

'It Don't Fade' - Mya Byrne

'Take Me Home' - Phantogram

'Tomboy' - Princess Nokia

'Louder (feat. Icona Pop)' - Big Freedia

'Say Nothing' - Kalifa

'MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name)' - Lil Nas X

'Crush on Me (Outro)' - Sir Babygirl

'Want You Gone' - Aperture Science Psychoacoustic Laboratories

[wanderingbards]

Apotheosis Finale Spoilers //

Anyways here are my live reactions as I sent them to the gc. (I figured out read more's on mobile guys be proud of me!)

Note that I live react to so much, which is why I don't do it on tumblr. If you wanna see me actively do this live ig hmu? I'm doing a prime defenders binge and just got to season 2.

We now have Daddy and Robo Daddy ig

The kickback before we kill God

Kraft mac and cheese to partner with steak

Thanatos is self-employed and taxes are daunting

They're gonna take on the irs

EAT. THANATOS'S. DEVILED. EGGS.

HE IS SAD. EAT THEM!!!

WAIT PETER YOUR EGG ALLERGY.

OH SHIT THANATOS DO NOT ANIMATE THE DEAD NEXT TO GODS CORPSES

"Peter there was no forklift." I throw the forklift.

Bizly is preparing for more gay sex

"Do what you must, Peter." Bizly stfu

Rumi baby don't apologize to Peter please no I'm gonna cry at the whiplash-

"Rumi was supposed to know everything" Honeyyyyyy

"I want Rumi to describe what he really looks like" BROOOOO

[Upon Peter seeing Rumi's true form] Damn, Gollum-lookin ass 😔 /j

"I see you. And I love you." PETERRRRR

Gay people be winnin at all times

"...you guys had sex yesterday."

Condi is in disbelief

I kinda wanna know what changed in the character sheets. I hope they drop finalized character sheets for everyone

Alfhdhsjayag he proposed with the ring of spell storing!!!

Okay but Peter essentially promising he'll never get bored of Rumi is so sweet

THE CEREMONY SPELL IS JUST ON THE RING

"Yo, I'll get married for the tax benefits." Same tho Bizly

Rumi really buried their deadname god I wish I could do that

I wanna know how long Charlie's been planning that proposal tho to have the ceremony spell just on the ring

Charlie correcting the pronouns for Rumi ;-;

Rumi suggesting they give Thanatos a toaster to marry

Thanatos is making more devilled eggs

Oh my god Peter trying to figure out what Thanatos looked like before becoming a warforged

Thanatos was so offended by the concept of angeled eggs

[After Bizly's camera goes out for the millionth time] Bizly get a new camera please

PETER HAS 200 HP OH SHIT

"I would not marry you, Rumi. That would be polygamy, which is punishable by death in some cultures." THANATOS REFERENCED GILLION

Thanatos is amazed how much they/them bussy changed Peter

RUMI HUGGED THANATOS

[Spends 3 minutes explaining Camp Camp to Felix] Yo that was just like Camp Camp

Charlie and Grizzly defending their characters love for each other

Okay serious fight time Condi is taking over

Vision of the fall of the celestial realm

Oh

...Zuen worked with Exandroth

Tits on display

"So we're in heaven, the devil is in front of us naked and in a trench coat."

ZUEN DID GIVE RUMI THEIR VISIONS HOLY SHIT

Rumi said bitchin I love them

"Literally we go to heaven and it's the naked devil with a trenchcoat!"

Zuen gave Rumi the vision of Exandroth taking over Peter hoping they would kill him ;-;. At least, these are the implications. Zuen never accounted for Peter fucking Sqloint.

Peter's trying to Willy Stampler Zuen

-Felix: charlie and grizz absolutely binged dndads after charlie met freddy

-Me: Definitely

Love that Zuen's plan faltered because they let Rumi, Thanatos, and Peter team up

...Lizard is now a dragon.

"...I'm gonna kill Lizard now, I hope you know that." Lizard will never die Condifiction I know where you live

Thanatos makes jokes now he's so 🥺🥺🥺 I will babygirl-ify Thanatos don't test me

I guess Gillion and Thanatos are gonna fight at some point

Charlie's 2 pages of Zuen puns is so dumb

Rumi stop being turned on by Peter

Zuen breaks the 4th wall

Zuen and Thanatos dapped each other up what the fuuuuck

[After an Eldritch Blast] Charlie does so much damage

A humble 71 damage from Thanatos

"You meta-gaming bitch!"

"Dude we need to canonize Jesus, quick!"

SUNNY BECOMES THE SUN BEAST ONCE MORE

AWW HE'S A PROPER KITSUNE NOW!!!

[After Zuen resisted his first spell] I'm surprised Zuen hasn't used any of his legendary resistances before now

These three are in for shit

Welcome to tag, dnd style

"Touch me again and I'm going to tell my husband."

[Said with the same intonation as 'it's my turn with the xbox'] "It's my turn with the sun beast."

"Yas queen, slay him. Slay, Thanatos."

Thanatos is so excited to use Mageslayer

"Peter was smokin that gas, and now he's zooted."

I'm wondering what happens in the last hour of this episode

It seems like the fight is almost over but there's an hour left

Power word: Pain oh shit

...Yeah okay I'm in emotional pain

Rumi you bastard /lh

Rumi cancelled humanity /j

"Rumi? You're gonna need to disband the sex cult."

Rumi dropped their look consciously for Peter ELENAAAAAA

"Well...I love you, Elena. Let's do it."

They made a constellation for Thanatos ;-;

Aaaaaaand they made it so cursed

"Thanatos is spreading mad cheeks rn."

Elena and Peter my beloveds the only valid romantic couple other than Pistolwhip

Peter constantly using they/them for Elena is so good

Exandroth and Thanatos duet to end the episode ig

Elena bought themself a new outfit and it's very cute I love her and Peter so much

The world is jubilant. The world is happy.

Elena helping people that she grew up as and it's very sweet

LIZARD GETS A GIRLFRIEND

Peter reacquired the log shop

Lizard babies all get a log :)

Peter makes statues of Thanatos and it's so sweet except every statue is Thanatos brutalizing a different god

"Everywhere Peter touches thrives" oh shit ;-; that's where I break-

"And it's perfect"

The book that Elena gave Thanatos, the book of untold stories, updates with their current stories ;-;

[werevampiwolf]

I posted 39,420 times in 2022

That's 9,773 more posts than 2021!

6 posts created (0%)

39,414 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@flange5

@luidilovins

@spongebobssquarepants

@bloodfetcher

@renthony

I tagged 928 of my posts in 2022

#toh spoilers - 24 posts

#hot damn - 18 posts

#stained glass my beloved - 12 posts

#youtube - 11 posts

#i don't go here but - 11 posts

#flashing lights - 7 posts

#hell yeah - 7 posts

#mochi - 7 posts

#i love her - 6 posts

#owl house spoilers - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i got distracted trying to decide if i'm too tired to make myself dinner or if i should just eat a snack and go to bed because it's 9pm lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My roommates are throwing a party and it's so fucking loud and I can't sleep and this is a fucking autistic/PTSD sensory hell

3 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#4

Fun fact, blaze posts ignore tag filters. Also I'm not sure how well Tumblr screens blazes before they post.

@staff

[Brief image description: a tumblr blaze sponsered post to a fic that is tagged with both "dead dove: do not eat" and "incest"]

3 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#3

It's my birthday today

4 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#2

Mr. Man got his first-ever tag today and is very proud of it!! I’m so in love with the tags we got all 3 of my dogs (they’re the same but Milo’s is blue, Laika’s is gold, and Loki’s is black) that I’m gonna get 3 more with their names to use as keychains lol (I have no idea why I call him Mr. Man, it just came out one day and now I can’t stop lmao)

Those are amazing tags and now I want one for my dog lol. I want to get my dog a collar with a matching bracelet for me

Also I'm now going to accept that Man is his last name (or middle name if you consider your dogs to have your last name)

4 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@niuniente

Here’s what my dumb questions were leading up to. I present: bubblegum Death-Head with extra eye and makeup. She’s a half-face tuatara, which have an extra eye on the top of their heads, though I took some liberties with the placement. She can’t see details with it but she can sense light and dark, like a real tuatara. She doesn’t have human ears, just little earholes like a lizard, so her glasses are actually magnetically attached to piercings she has right there. Her spikes go down her head and they’re naturally green, but she paints the ones on her head with nail polish. She used to always wear pink eyeshadow on all three eyes, but with her mask and all, now she only does the middle eye. She’s also got a tail that’s hidden in the shawl, because I cannot draw a lizard tail that doesn’t look terrible. And while I didn’t draw any teeth details, they’re very sharp, and she will not hesitate to bite.

I think I’m gonna call her Anahera, which is Maori for “angel“ (since tuatara are from New Zealand)

Made in Inkscape, and I did it pretty fast, at least for me, so the anatomy isn’t exactly amazing lol.

(also the model I found to reference was already wearing the glasses, so I figured it was fate since it matches Alrick’s)

30 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[zachsgamejournal]

COMPLETED: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild

I did it. I finally beat this game. Literally bought it on day one. While I'm proud of the feat...the ending was...underwhelming.

What I loved about Ocarina of Time is how it A.) Felt like an open world B.) Felt like you do things out of order, like you were "discovering" the world. Neither were true, but they are true for Breath of the Wild. So in that sense, this game is a fulfillment of OoT's promise.

So--we last we left off we were climbing a volcano to take on the iguana divine beast. And it was a bit of a disappointment. Far simpler than the camal or elephant. I'm not sure I was upset, just unexcited. It's the third dungeon with the same aesthetic and puzzles, so starting to feel tedious. And the boss--a complete joke. While I struggled a lot with the first boss and a little with second, this was a 1-and-done deal. And basically my whole strategy was run up to it and hit it till if died. No crazy patterns or anything. Extremely underwhelming.

Roughly around this point we had enough hearts to go for the master sword. But that means navigating the lost forest. I remember the first time playing this I got really confused. When I discovered I needed to follow the wind by holding a torch and seeing which way the sparks flew, I applauded genius design. Now that I knew what to do...it was less exciting. The trees were cleverly creepy though.

It was fun to see the Deku tree again, but we didn't talk much. Hi Link, I've been waiting for you. Here's your sword.

Master Sword in hand we set off to take on the Bird Divine beast. I was really excited for my wife to see the bird folk, but she was watching ER in the other room. Ah well. I was excited to see the birds except they're all really arrogant for some reason. Didn't enjoy that.

I enjoy the mini-game getting on the beast. It was fun shooting the shield generators with explosive arrows, but also really easy. Similar to the lizard beast, the dungeon was really simple, no real surprises. The boss was slightly harder, but now I've got so many skills, weapons, and bad-ass meals that I don't have to be half-as-skilled as when I started.

So with all the Divine beast enrolled in our cause, we grabbed a few towers and shrines, focusing more on stamina. I also started tracking down the memory quest. I knew there was going to be more "story" here, as the game is not very heavy on plot compared to other Zeldas. While it did provide a little more character development for Zelda herself, but it did add much to the plot. I think the real depth of the game's story is in the side quest of its characters. I had hoped to do more there, but I felt we needed to move onto a game the whole family could enjoy.

So when it was time to take on the castle I was sure there were going to be guardians. So I knew I needed to learn to counter lasers, which I never learned before. It took some practice and frustration, but I actually got pretty good. And a defeated guardian drops tons of parts! I got excited and killed a few just for fun.

Afterward, I visited a fairy for some equipment upgrades and stopped by Impa's. She gave me the iconic blue tunic that's in all the flashbacks. It shows enemy HP. I'm not sure what the point of that is besides seeing when an enemy is way out of your league??

Anyway, we snuck our way into the castle grounds Solid Snake style. The castle is huge. You can't fully explore it, but it's still imposing. I'm impressed they still let you climb everything. Makes what could have been very linear feel open and exciting. While exploring, I dropped into this room--somewhat accidentally. Then the doors shut and then Lionel shows up. Damn it! I've specifically avoided these guys! Somehow, though, I was able to defeat but I lost a lot powerups and food. I wasn't sure how check points worked in the castle, so I was worried about how much I'd have to repeat if I died.

I make it inside.

Calamity Ganon drops down, though he looks like a spider-Ganon. I'm feeling anxious given the supplies and skills I've lost on the way here. But thankfully the Divine Beast Champions send in their attack and knock down 50% of his health. That's good, because he hits pretty hard in the fight. I don't quite figure out the best strategy, but I have enough supplies to survive the fight and work in some good hits.

After he's defeated, we end up outside where Ganon takes on his true form...I guess. I gian bull! This is much easier, as I just ride my horse around and shoot at weakpoints Zelda reveals. Once he's down, i guess he's banished to the space between dimensions with phantom ganon and that's it.

There's no real story after that. Sadly, but not unexpectedly, you don't get to keep playing. That's an unfortunate thing about Zelda games, they always end at the end. Normally that's reasonable, but every Zelda game is about restoring a turbulent world to peace and happiness, while giving you good world building. But you never get to enjoy this world you build. Just a couple of cenimatics showing the NPCs having fun.

Lame.

So the game is done. I think this is my 2nd favorite Zelda with Ocarina being my favorite. I enjoy the world they've built here, but I think it being a post apocalyptic world where everything of significance happened in the past is a weak choice. Looking at two great games, Dragon Quest 11 and Ocarina of Time, those games did a great job having a mostly functional world that then "ends" and shows all the changes and consequences of that. But then you have the chance to save it. Not saying this needed to take that route, but the world and characters made that great--not the lonely apocalyptic world this is.

[waltnut]

Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.

Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.

No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...

The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.

NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1

Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?

Lucifer

Level 3

He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?

He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.

But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.

MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.

Level 4

All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.

He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.

He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?

Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!

Mammon

Level 3

He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.

As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.

He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.

Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.

Level 4

Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.

Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.

Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.

While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.

Leviathan

Level 3

Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.

Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.

Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.

Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.

Level 4

Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.

He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.

He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!

Satan

Level 3

If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.

Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.

Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.

He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.

Level 4

Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.

Most likely to choke you.

Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.

Asmodeus

Level 3

Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.

As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.

Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.

Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.

Level 4

More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.

Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.

A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.

Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.

Beelzebub

Level 3

Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.

Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.

He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.

Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.

Level 4

You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?

Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.

The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.

Most likely to hump your leg.

Belphegor

Level 3

He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.

Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.

He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.

His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.

Level 4

If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.

You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!

His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.

You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.

[phoenixyfriend]

Skysisters AU - bulletpoint thoughts

Want some more thoughts on the Skysisters AU? Because @willowcrowned and I have some.

- Context: Skysisters AU

- List of Aniclones with attributes

- Shipping and the Beginning of the End

- The Adventures of Jinn and Kebi (and Korkie)

- (chrono)

I think Krayt deserves a Massiff

-- Girl who named herself after a dragon deserves a big-ass lizard-dog

-- Big enough to ride

- She's that one sibling that goes in really hard on animals and wants to be a vet

- Willow suggested she get a varactyl

-- I think she'd need a specially-sized cargo ship to lug a varactyl around with her

-- That said, Venators are pretty damn big... could fit a manufactured environment in there.....

- After the war she goes full-on cowgirl style whenever she's off-duty

-- Get this girl some cowboy boots

-- dresses like the gun sisters in soul eater

The CG sisters: Puritan, Disney, Greek Myth

I like the idea that Tilly introduces herself as "Pestilence Skywalker" when she wants to be intimidating because lbr that's. Not a name people forget.

- Willow said: you know what it sounds like? a puritan name

-- 'Hi, I'm Pestilence Skywalker, and this is my sister Thou-shalt-not-adulter'

Consider! Anakin, spread eagle on his back, snoring away, covered in sisters, lineage members, and His Girlfriend.

I want. I want Fern to just like. Crawl into his bed and cuddle a few years after she names herself. She has the perspective to recognize that him attacking Krell was because he cared about her, now, and it's been a long time since she's gotten comfort out of physical affection from anyone but a sister, but... a brother is close enough.

- Willow said: they’ve been dancing around each other for several days after she’s finally come back to visit and he’s still not sure where they stand because they never really got time to talk after the war and they definitely didn’t get time to talk during it, but Fern went out with Pest and Lamb and she’s really tired and a little drunk and more than a little touch starved so she just crawls into his bed and he wakes up enough to recognize it’s her and pulls her in closer

IMO this song has Kebi and Jinn vibes

Anyway, Hug The Little Sister

- Snuggle Fern

Mostly I'm just thinking about Kebi landing in a fight in her armor and skidding through with a sick Iron Man pose

- Well, a mixture of an Iron Man landing pose and ice skating 5 #thedrama

The musical vibe I have in mind for Lyra is Carly Rae Jepsen's "Cut to the Feeling" and Willow agreed that this fucks

Jinn and Kebi DEFINITELY break into their sisters' apartments when they need Specialist Help.

- Need some fashion advice for a political thing in the Mid Rim? Crawl in through Belle's window and ask her! Bring Korkie, he needs the experience (it's for the academy credits).

Now now, Korkie, they're ALSO using you for your political acumen and connections

Wait shit he's their fucking. Unpaid intern.

- AND their main investor? Somehow?

- Willow said: I think it’s more like he’s the rich man they’re exploiting for money

- Which: neither of them even approach being anything like a black widow but

- AJDNFNDKD WAIT

Hondo: they’re in love with you Korkie!

Korkie: they’re using me for my money, idiot

Willow said that there's a point there but he wouldn't tell Hondo that.

Satine regularly calls up Korkie in the Skysisters AU to make sure he's eating enough and doing his homework and to tell him she's very proud of him for what she's hearing about him helping establish peaceful (or at least, less awful) governments in the wake of the Jinn-Kebi chaos.

Anyway, his aunt DID send him along with them, so, you know.

It's more like summer camp.

- Willow: they’re his fucking camp counselors

(We also discussed the duration and speed of a clone pregnancy and decided it should be standard 9mos and the baby does not inherit the rapid aging because that's too angsty.)

(Anakin does hope someone fixes the aging ASAP, though, mostly because he thinks it isn't fair to the clones and he'd be sad if they lost even more of their lives to this issue, but also partly because he's the oldest and he'd like to stay the oldest, thank you.)

(Ginger cuts it very close to Belle accidentally ending up older than Anakin.)

[robert-de-niro-only-fans]

Dewey Decimal System

Max Cady x Reader in the library, no plot, just smut

Dedicating this little work to @droogiesanddiscourse who just today found out she's graduating with honors!!! I'm so proud of you bb!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

TW: smut, public sex, explicit/raunchy dialogue, Max Cady in general?

Word Count: 2.2k

“My baby’s so smart, knowing how to find any book in the library,” your boyfriend, Max, coos quietly to you as you saunter through the aisles and aisles of books, softly leading him with his hand in yours. “You know I didn’t learn to read until my stay in the big house, but I never did learn numbers all that well. I’m glad my little princess can navigate this, uh, what do you call it? Dew something?’

“The Dewey Decimal System!” you whisper in a giggle.

“The Dewey Decimal System...” he tried the words out on his tongue, “Well, I’m glad you can lead me in the right direction, angel.”

“Oop, right here!!” you point up at a tall shelf. Max’s body crashes into yours, nearly landing you both on the floor, as you stopped so suddenly.

“Goodness gracious, girlie, you must be excited to do some reading, huh?” his voice rumbles lowly next to your ear. His muscular arms wrap tightly around your midsection, pressing your backside against him. You can feel his arousal stirring already; he really has no qualms about doing nasty things to you, any time, anywhere. “Oh, baby, I’m already thinking about you reading to me... Hearing that sweet little voice say such naughty things, those pretty little lips forming unholy syllables...” And in true Max Cady fashion, his fingertips are already teasing at the edge of your skirt, threatening for his rough palms to attack your delicate thighs.

You feel a single finger creep up to your hip, teasing at the waistband of your panties, “I hope you aren’t particularly fond of these, ‘cuz they’re coming off now, honey.” And with that, his other hand quickly follows the first one up your skirt and before you could even protest, the man is on his knees and the lacy underwear around your ankles. He helps you out of them as is you were a toddler, getting them over your shoes.

He quickly snatches a book from the bottom shelf and flips it open to a random page before stuffing your panties in it and shoving it back on the shelf. “Max!!!” you whisper-yell.

“What?” he plays dumb, standing back up to press himself into your backside again. “You don’t want someone findin’ your panties? Knowin’ what we did in here? Mmm, well I wanna spread the word about you, baby... Besides, they can use it as a bookmark.” His hands grip your hipbones and he gives you a sloppy kiss on your neck, making a loud slurping noise.

“Max! Shhh!!”

“You’re so cute, all worried about getting caught. You think we’ll get in trouble if someone sees us, or god forbid if someone hears us in this quiet place?”

“Maaaaxxx...” you whine.

“Mm, yeah? You like that idea? Someone hearing the way I turn you into a whore for me? You don’t sound as innocent as you look once I get you goin’.” His hand slides around to your sex, teasing you roughly through the smooth fabric of your skirt, and when you let out a little whimper, it only proves his point.

"Alright, princess, why don't you grab us that book we're looking for?" Following his question, Max's strong arms easily hoist you off the ground, lifting you up, up, up to reach that top shelf and pull down one of Max's favorite books: 𝘛𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘤 𝘰𝘧 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳. Oh, and don't think that he missed the opportunity to peak under that skirt...

• • •

As you and Max relax in two adjacent armchairs that he scooted close together, you recite prose from your boyfriend's favorite author. Just a few pages in, you're already at one of his favorite parts. You can read the sheer excitement on Max's face when he says, "Alright, darlin', you better speak up for this next part, you know how much I like the dirty bits."

You look around, making sure no one is nearby, and you start, "'At night when I look at Boris' goatee lying on the pillow I get hysterical.'"

"Louder," Max tilts his head forward, looking at you from under his brow bone.

You raise your voice only slightly, "'O Tania, where now is that warm cunt of yours, those fat, heavy garters, those soft, bulging thighs?'"

"I can't hear you..." he chimes devilishly.

"'There is a bone in my prick six inches long...'"

"And what's he gonna do with it?" Like he doesn't already know.

"'I will ream out every wrinkle in your cunt, Tania, big with seed,'" you look around again, checking for any poor passersby, "'I will send you home to your Sylvester with an ache in your belly and your womb turned inside out.'"

Max let's out a low whistle, "That Henry Miller suuuure knew what he was talking about, huh?" He leans forwards and rather directly slides his hand under your skirt, thumb quickly parting your lips to find that special little bundle of nerves.

You gasp loudly, and Max continues, "Yeah? You want me to turn your womb inside out like he did to Tania? Make that little cunt smooth with my big cock?" His voice is just loud enough that it still sounds intimate but anyone walking by could easily hear.

In an attempt to quiet your moans, you press on reading, "’Your Sylvester! Yes, he knows how to build a fire-‘"

"’But I know how to inflame a cunt!’" Max finishes your sentence for you before pulling you up out of your chair and into his lap, where his fingers quickly find their place between your thighs as if it is the most natural thing in the world to him. "Keep reading, princess," he whispers softly in your ear.

You become aware of his hard length pressing into your thigh, as you read the line, "’I shoot hot bolts into you, Tania, I make your ovaries incandescent.’”

Max lets out a deep moan that rumbles your eardrums and presses some kisses to your cheek and jawline.

“‘Your Sylvester is a little jealous now? He feels something, does he? He feels the remnants of my big prick. I have set the shores a little wider. I have ironed out the wrinkles,’” Max starts to rut against you in his lap. His hands take a firm grip on your hips and slide you back and forth against the erection trapped in his pants. You keep going, “‘After me you can take on stallions, bulls, rams, drakes, St. Bernards. You can stuff toads, bats, lizards up your rectum. You can shit arpeggios if you like, or string a zither across your navel.’”

His moans become quite noisy and his hands search for your flesh; one hand slipping under the edge of your shirt to feel the soft skin of your tummy, the other getting an anchor hold on your hair and giving it a rough tug. You inhale sharply wincing at the pain. You can tell Max is getting needy for you; it would never cease to fascinate you how some little girl (anyone is small next to his towering muscular frame) could have so much control over him.

“‘I am fucking you, Tania, so that you'll stay fucked. And if you are afraid of being fucked publicly I will fuck you privately-‘“

“Damn, that sounds like a good idea,” Max grunts out and unzips his pants, “I sure hope you aren’t afraid of being fucked publicly.”

His next few actions only take a few seconds, and before you can even realize it, you’ve been hoisted up and swiftly dropped down onto your boyfriend’s thick cock. You somehow let out a gasp and a squeal at the same time, and Max claps his hand over your mouth. The only other sound is the thud of the book hitting the floor and closing. Where Max wanted you to speak up before, now it’s time for the quiet game...

“How’s that feel? Daddy’s big cock stretching out those tight walls, huh?” Clearly, it’s a rhetorical question since his hand stays clasped over your mouth. It’s Max’s turn to tease you with his words. “You always take me so well, my little princess. You think if anyone walked by they would know that you’re filled to the brim with my prick? You’ve been trained well, baby girl, you can take me and no one knows I’m inside you, but I know how turned on you are, I felt how wet you were when I was touching you. You wanted this, and I bet everyone knows how much you wanted it, I bet that librarian in the next room knows you have your pussy stuffed right now.”

In all honestly, this guy Ryan had just started working at the library; he had hoped it would be more a bit more relaxing than his job at the local drive-in movie theatre. But Ryan recognized you and Max when you came in, and he really, REALLY doesn’t want another awkward interaction with your boyfriend, so he’s gonna leave you to do whatever you want in the back room of the library...

His hand still covers your mouth as you lean your head back onto his shoulder, looking at him out the corner of your eye. His other arm braces your hips, keeping you flush to him so you can feel every time his member twitches. “You feel me, princess? Feel that ‘bone in my prick’ and how bad I want you?”

You nod your head as much as his grip will allow, eyes never leaving his.

“If I can be frank, sweetheart, Daddy’s never been good at this whole cockwarming thing like you are. It always leaves me wanting more, and you know Daddy can’t resist having more of you... Whaddaya say we play horsey instead? I’ll bounce you on my lap like the dumb little baby doll you are, just like your old man did for you when you were a kid."

You let out an excited little whimper, and Max moves his hands to your hips. "Now I can't keep a hand on your mouth anymore. Think you can keep quiet for me?"

You nod your head excitedly and whisper as quietly as you can, "Yes, sir, Daddy. Can I have a kiss?"

"Aww, of course you can, angel," his lips meet yours in a wet, unrefined fashion, giving you the rough kind of kiss you need. Max also takes this moment to start bouncing you in his lap, just like horsey. With your lips pressed to his, it muffles any sounds that escape the two of you.

His thrusts are small and quick, but actually really satisfying at this angle. The girth of him presses against that special spot inside you. That combined with the thrill of possibly getting caught already has that feeling creeping up in your belly. Your nails dig into his hips looking for something to ground you as you find ecstasy in your orgasm.

But your climax isn't gonna stop Max from what he's doing. He continues to bounce you on his lap, whispering, "Mmm, finished so soon? You must like bouncing on my cock. Bouncy, bouncy..."

You bite your lip, still riding out your orgasm as he continually slams into your g-spot. When a drawn out little whine hums out of you, Max shushes you with a "Shhhh, shhh, baby. You're doing so good, such a good girl for Daddy. Just a little longer, I'm so close, princess."

With your brows furrowed and eyes closed tight, you brave yourself on the arms of the chair. You feel two calloused fingertips at your bottom lip, and you open your mouth, taking them in.

"There that'll keep you quiet for this next part," Max warns before absolutely plowing his hips up into you as fast as he can. His other hand maintains such a firm grip on your side, you think he'll probably leave bruises.

Max chokes back a deep grunt and pulls you down into his lap to spill his seed inside you. You feel his length jolting and that warm gooey liquid. You both sit there catching your breath, and Max wraps his arms around you in a loving embrace.

He gets you to look at him, placing another dirty kiss to your mouth. Then he pulls you off of him, stand up, places you back down on the chair, and gets his pants zipped up.

"Um. Max?" you whisper, a little tense.

"What is it, little darlin'?" He gets on his knees in front of you, placing his big hands on your thighs.

"Uhhh... I think there's gonna be a little mess on this chair," you get right next to his ear and oh so quietly tell him, "it's, uh, leaking."

"Aww, are you worried about leaving some of my cum on the chair?" he places a hand on your chin, "That was the point, baby. The librarian can handle it." Max gives you a wink before taking you by the hand and leading you out of the library.

Poor Ryan.... Scarred again by Max and his girl, and now he has to clean up after them.

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Six Weeks Into an Era

A sequel to Three Weeks Into an Era. Someone ages ago asked for a sequel. Blame them 👀💅🏾.

The plantation hidden deep into private land was an instant success and as reporters broadcasted nationally on the mass disappearance of white men over the age of 21 with an unfamiliar air of fear and a new sense of panic, no connection could be made between the disappearances and the new booming businesses due to the preexisting condition that is outsourcing factory labor. Erik and his crew were fat cats rolling in dough. Dante had been promoted to head of the all-male plantation as Erik floated from camp to camp, the latest camp being for women. It was 10 miles away from the first camp and nicknamed Camp Karen by the all-female team of overseers that supervised the property.

"PICK UP YOUR MACHETE AND SWING YOUR GOD DAMN ARM, BRIDGETTE," Kathy seethed turning bright pink under her frosty white bobbed hair. She'd been toiling in the high heat for three hours, the sun beating on her causing sweat to drip all down her chiffon blouse. She was soaked and pissed.

"You better listen to her, Bridgette," Shavon chuckled misting herself with her battery operated spray fan. "I'll keep y'all out here all day and night until all that sugarcane is harvested. You won't eat or sleep."

Bridgette was a twenty-four year old engaged yoga instructor and mother of one 2-yr-old according to her profile provided by Erik. Her favorite pastimes included yelling at people of color who she perceived to be immigrants and throwing around the N word at black service workers. She'd even gotten violent on numerous occasions. Now she was screaming to the top of her lungs in a sugarcane field, refusing to work despite the fact that she was holding up twelve other exhausted and angry white Karens who were all but frothing at the mouth . She picked up the machete and swung it wildly.

"I don't care if you hit them lice lizards you rode in with, bitch, but if you swing it this way I'll assume you're swinging at me and you WILL be taken down," Shavon eyed the sandy blonde and lanky woman ensuring she understood. As Bridgette began to cry and wail, the other women fussed amongst themselves, fed up and exhausted from the hold up of Bridgette not doing her part. "Oh do you not like her behavior??" They had a nerve. They were all at the plantation for similar offenses. Some for way worse.

Thirty minutes of tantrum rolled by and Shavon returned to the air conditioned tent for a cool drink of Gatorade while Alexis took over as the active overseer. Alexis wasted no words having watched the entire meltdown from afar in her chair. She pulled her whip and lashed Bridgette on the back to snap her into quick action.

"This is what your people did to my people, remember?! You bring it up all the time to black people when you're getting your nonfat lattes you must remember but in case you don't, let me remind you." With another snap of the whip across Bridgette's back, Bridgette started working in double-time. She needed to catch up on all the chopping she had not done. "PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT," Alexis yelled. "YEAH I CAN SCREAM TOO."

Alexis had originally been gentle, but truckloads of entitled and extremely racist white women had ruined that side of her. She stung Bridgette once more holding nothing back, the pain of her ancestors her driving force in that moment. "Do you know that it's estimated that 40% of slaveowners were white women? Yeah? We were currency for you.. A way for you to escape your sorry ass lot as a lesser counterpart to your white man and gain some type of freedom since you couldn't freely acquire land. You say it's the past yet you still view us as your step stool. Well not here, bitch. Pick up the pace."

Meanwhile, at the all-male camp, Overseer Dante kept his group of caucasians in line by threat of fire. He introduced what he called the gun line. If any of the men were to take so much as a step past the boundary of the plantation he'd be dropped on sight. "TRY IT MILK MUTANT. YOUR TOE WILL BE THE ONLY THING LEFT OF YOU," he yelled to a younger pale face with trouble in his eyes. He had yet to be broken, but it was a matter of time.

Erik was out with the truck on the hunt, ready to abduct new cattle based on a list of addresses and coordinates. The world had all but come to a stop, discussing the disappearances to the point that it was the main topic on all news stations and had been for a while. Pictures of socially high ranking white men were displayed from MSNBC to FOX. The president had declared a state of emergency. It was disgusting for Erik to witness considering the ratio of missing white men compared to black men. There had never been so much as a televised conference or lasting discussion regarding the disappearance of non-white people. Erik felt even more justified in his actions. Erik's team also felt just as justified.

"WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO HOME," Bridgette collapsed into the soil, shaking and crying, her portion of the harvest not near complete. "I just wanna go to take care of my SON!" Snot dripped down her top lip mixed with dirt, tears, and sweat.

"You think I give a damn about your little snotty nosed brat? When MY people, my literal great-grandmother was ripped away from her own child? Couldn't breastfeed her own child because she had to breastfeed a white woman's child? Cook and clean in a white woman's home to survive? You think I give a fuck about you? My great-grandmother was whipped by a white woman for being raped by the white husband. She went blinding one eye because of it. The same white women she cooked and cleaned for and raised her child. You think I'm supposed to give a damn about yours? Get the hell up," her top lip disappeared over her teeth as she reared the whip in a real threat once more. Bridgette scrambled to her feet, still sobbing as Alexis walked away back to the tent to collect herself.

"You okay?" Shavon had listened to the whole thing, sipping cold Gatorade in the cool air.

"I'm irritated, I just need to watch some Family Feud to get my mind off of it," she muttered dropping down to watch the small television.

"Girl don't let it get to you, you let that whip get to them ranch roaches and release that stress."

"I know, girl.. I know.." She propped her feet up with a cold beer in hand and Shavon returned to the field refreshed with a new idea in mind.

"Since SOME of you moon crickets don't wanna work there's gonna be some changes around here. Going forward, the last one to finish gets 10 lashes and a night sleeping in the hole. Hopefully that lights a fire under your meth addicted pink and red flat asses. We know who's sleeping in the hole tonight!"

Bridgette's angry shriek was at its loudest yet.

"That's for you Lexi," Shavon called to the tent with a proud grin. Alexis waved in grateful solidarity just as the familiar drop off truck rolled in.

"ERIK," Alexis exclaimed jumping up and fixing her hair to jog to the truck. It was him and he was tired and brooding as usual. "Hey, we've been keeping them busy on our side. Are you gonna stay?"

"Girl, let him out the truck," Shavon smirked from the side, prompting Alexis to stop blocking his door. She was overly excited as always and as always, Erik was uninterested.

"New shipment," he spoke to Shavon giving her the details on eight new women who could be heard screaming as soon as Erik lifted the sound proof gate. "Your problem now," he patted her shoulder with humor in his weary eyes. "Have fun."

[aceofspadegrass]

Pancake Day, but Better

Characters: Niragi Suguru, Dori Sakurada, Last Boss, Cabot, Aguni Morizono, Chishiya Shuntaro, Hatter

Genre: Crack Part 2, now with pancakes.

1.9k words

Prompt: Can you do like a sequel for that dori and niragi crack,cause i want to see dori in pancake day and introducing himself to chishiya,last boss(and catbot)aguni,and hatter. And i have an urge that maybe hatter would like him because how he dresses himself how hatter likes it to be,also chishiya would just go up to niragi and say" Wow, he's actually even more better then you niragi. Maybe he's smarter then you too" As he walks away leaving a a angry niragi - @a-simp-20

(Counts as a Part 2 to this)

*Rubs hands together* Heck yeah, more gentle chaos. Time to gently bully this giraffe lizard man again.

Now with the added addition of pancakes! Fun times for all!

Despite the laws of the Borderlands and the highly likely chance that nobody knows the actual date that passes by, people still managed to produce what someone offhandedly referred to as the 'Borderlands Holy Day'.

Now, what pray tell was the Borderlands Holy Day? Was it a religion?

Despite the fact that it had 'Holy' in its name, no. It wasn't a religion. Although if someone tried hard enough it could become almost like a cult. Wouldn't be the first time.

So what was it?

Well, obviously.....

It was Pancake Friday. The greatest day of the century. The premise was simple enough: Every Friday everyone gets a pancake. A single pancake. Want more? Well, you better bet and compete for other people's pancakes. The only thing more exhilarating to the members of the Beach than winning games and living another day to party and do fuck-all was Pancake Day.

So, of course, when Friday rolled around, people weren't thinking of anything except the spoils of little bets and competitions over the week, thick fluffy pancakes topped with whatever they pleased and whatever the Beach had in stock at the time. Even Niragi was thinking about pancakes, because what's better than bragging about how many pancakes you got that week?

Nothing, that's what.

Pancake Day was great.

Niragi walks down the corridor with the strut of a man that knew he was feared, and he heads to the dining area where the pancakes would inevitably be given out. People were already there, a few making last minute bets in an attempt to win just a little extra amount for the day. Niragi found it almost amusing. Such a pitiful sight. Niragi himself had already gained a total of four whole pancakes, two of which he won off of some idiot who just thought he was really pretty.

" There's a lot of people here. It must be really important, right?" A smooth voice pipes up from just a little behind him, and Niragi is reminded quite forcefully that he didn't come here alone.

" Of course it's important, it's Pancake Day! Haven't you ever heard of it?" Niragi spat, Sakurada merely shrugging and walking away to talk to other members of the Beach. Niragi scoffs and storms away. At least he didn't have to think about the other him anymore, no matter how neat he looked.

He ends up finding Last Boss standing in the corner by himself, watching everyone else with a self made distance, leaning against his katana. His cat was chilling right besides his foot, apparently having her snack before the pancakes came out and making quiet eating noises. Niragi made sure not to accidentally step on her, which wasn't that hard to do. Niragi stares at Last Boss almost expectantly, waiting for even the slightest hint of a greeting, but all the other man does is stare ahead, lost in his own thought.

So, like a completely normal person would do to a guy ignoring the other, Niragi starts poking Last Boss in the side with his sniper rifle.

" Hey. Hey. Hey. You awake?"

Last Boss just continues to ignore him, and Niragi's pokes get a little harder the more he gets ignored. " Hey! Why are you ignoring me! Come on!"

Last Boss finally looks in his direction, and Niragi grins in victory, Last Boss just staring at him blankly. " Fucking finally, you were ignoring me."

Last Boss just continues to remain silent, but Niragi didn't care, instead putting his rifle back to balance on his shoulder as he looks out among the people still puttering about. Niragi could barely make out that Sakurada guy, who was talking to some random nobodies, Niragi scoffing to himself. He points him out to Last Boss, whose gaze follows the direction of Niragi's slender finger.

" See that one? Yeah, that one busted into my room and kept spraying me with water, the nerve of that guy."

Last Boss mutters something under his breath, Niragi not picking it up properly. He glances at Last Boss suspiciously, Last Boss just continuing to stare off at Sakurada without any sign of emotion on his tattooed face. Niragi groans, and he looks back in the direction of Sakurada, only to see that somehow the bastard has disappeared. Niragi frowns and looks around from where he stood to see whether he could see him again, but no dice.

The area was getting more and more full the longer Niragi tried looking, to the point that he gave up even trying. At some point Last Boss' cat had finished her snack, and he could feel Cabot rubbing her body across his legs as well just for the hell of it. He looks down at the feline, Cabot just doing her own thing like she usually did.

" Hey you little fuck. What's up." Niragi mutters down at the cat, Cabot just continuing on her little rub spree before going over to Last Boss and meowing loudly until Last Boss bent down and picked her up, Cabot resting happily with her butt in the crook of Last Boss' arm and her head and front paws draped over his shoulder.

Niragi rolls his eyes at the sight, and finally the time had come, Hatter walking in with the utmost grace, people cheering him like they do every time they see the man, with Aguni not that far behind. Niragi and Last Boss head towards the little stage Hatter insisted needed to be built for Pancake Day, standing in position as Aguni joins them, Hatter going up to the Pancake Podium.

" Greetings everyone! Today is the glorious and absolutely magnificent Pancake Day! I hope all of you have worked hard to acquire your pancakes!" Hatter shouts with arms outstretched like a bird's, people cheering and whooping excitedly. " I, for one, have a total of five whole pancakes, as throughout the week I have worked hard to get them from my loyal and beautiful members, and that one person who sadly perished in a game and bequeathed their pancakes to me for many months to come! May their soul be at rest, the courage of them~" Hatter announces, the crowd going wild.

" Now, may the pancakes commence!"

People scattered to tables near immediately, and the kitchen doors open as the designated chefs come out with the freshly made pancakes on carts. Niragi and Last Boss end up following Aguni and the rest of the executives plus Hatter to what was apparently the special table, used only by them.

Niragi grins as he leans back in his chair. At least Sakurada would stay away for now-

" Oh, there you are!"

Speak of the devil. Niragi shuts his eyes in annoyance as his clone comes over. Several pairs of eyes shoot to him, and despite his eyes being closed, Niragi could still feel the smug and interested smile Chishiya was giving off.

" Oh? And who are you, you splendid looking being?" Hatter's voice rings out. " Your outfit is immaculate, but I have never seen you before. No, wait...... I have seen you! Except less fancier. And usually with a hat. Who is sitting right there."

Niragi wanted to shoot this man so bad.

"My name is Sakurada Dori, it is very nice to meet you." Sakurada greets them.

Niragi finally bothers to open his eyes as Hatter stands up, and apparently does a quick check over of Sakurada, nodding to himself. " Yes, you are absolutely stunning. I love what you've done!"

" Are you the one that made Niragi take off his hat?" Aguni asks, low and stoic as always. Niragi rolls his eyes at that. He didn't intend to get rid of his hat, Sakurada just kind of yeeted it outside his window without even asking. The nerve of this guy.

Sakurada quickly nods. " I will get him another hat eventually, as I promised, but only as long as he shoots his gun responsibly!"

" Is that so...." Aguni mutters, and just kind of nods like a sort of proud dad.

Hatter grins even wider, and claps Sakurada across the back. " Now that's some courage! Hey, what say you, would you like one of Niragi's pancakes? As a sign of strength!"

" What?!" Niragi shouts, and he stands up, slamming the table. Aguni watches him quietly, as does Last Boss, the latter just staring more than a tired gaze like Aguni was sporting at the moment. " You can't do that!"

" But I can! I'm the leader after all, I can say what I want, and what I want is practically law here, Niragi. Remember who your boss is." Hatter smiles at Niragi in that sort of way that Niragi hated, but a firm tap on his arm by Aguni made him relent, Niragi angrily muttering to himself as he sat back down.

" Ah, thank you very much, but I don't need to take his-"

" Nonsense, you deserve it! Besides, Niragi already gets... how many?"

" Well I had four, but apparently not anymore."

" Three is plenty for you! Anyways, so that means you get two pancakes, you funky little ball of glory!" Hatter states.

" Are you sure? Is that alright with you Niragi?" Sakurada looks to the man, Niragi just grumbling some more.

" Don't worry about him, he'll get over it." Chishiya mentions, and Niragi quickly glares at him, Chishiya casually looking back with that damn smug ass smile on his lips.

" Fucking undercooked egg white." Niragi mutters under his breath, Chishiya just continuing to smirk.

Still, the pancakes arrive to their table, Hatter inviting Sakurada to sit with them for the day so he could talk about fashion, mainly about what kinds of hats the other liked, Sakurada easily falling into conversation with him. Niragi just drowns his now three pancakes in maple sauce, grumbling under his breath.

Last Boss was watching Niragi just nearby, eating his single pancake as Cabot got to treat herself to two whole cat-specified pancakes like she deserved, and goes to whisper to his cat, Cabot flicking her tail a little at whatever Last Boss muttered.

" You have a very nice cat there! It must be enjoying everything since it appears to be very well cared for and happy." Sakurada mentions at one point, Last Boss staring at Sakurada silently. Sakurada just politely smiles back, and Last Boss just slowly blinks, then nods.

" Thank.... you." Last Boss says, and Cabot looks up finally, and bumps her body against Last Boss, the man quietly petting her as Sakurada watches with a happy expression at how sweet the sight was. Sakurada makes small clicking nosies in an attempt to beckon the cat over to him, Cabot meowing and wandering over curiously, sniffing at Sakurada's fingers before letting herself get pet by the man softly. " She seems to like me already!" Sakurada says happily, Last Boss slowly nodding.

" That's good. She likes being pet gently." Last Boss mutters, and even Hatter tried to get in on the cat patting session.

" Hey Niragi." Chishiya's voice catches Niragi's attention, and he looks up at him, already despising of what he was about to spew out from his lips. The limestone fox man just smiles at him, pancakes already gone from his plate.

" The fuck do you want now."

" Your clone is actually way better than you. Perhaps even smarter than whatever half brain you have up there." Chishiya remarks, and with that he stands up and walks away from the table, immediately sliding himself into a group of people leaving and disappearing from his sight.

" YOU LITTLE FUC-" He whips out his gun, ready to chase Chishiya down and kill him like he always wanted to.

Water gets immediately sprayed on his face the second he stands up again, Niragi sputtering. " No. Bad Niragi."