#I'm literally so tired from everything

[fairydrowning]

"I'm not doing awfully well but I'm trying very, very, very hard."

– Anne Sexton, from a letter to Florence Ehrhardt, c. February 1974

[shima-draws]

My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip

Me: Oh?

My doctor: It's an issue with your spine

Me: OH

[felizusnavidad]

unpopular opinion but i really miss those days when it was all about the music in taylor swift fandom

[craycraybluejay]

ik people like to act like sex and imbalanced sexual dynamics are uniquely traumatizing (moreso than any other kind of power imbalance, abuse of power, or just flat out abuse period) but from personal experience not really. there's nothing inherent to sex and sexuality that makes it traumatizing. there's nothing inherent to sexual trauma that makes it more traumatic than any other trauma.

and chiefly trauma is never really about the intentions of any party who made or let it happen. someone who wants, intends, and tries to hurt you might bounce off you just like that; because they simply failed to psychologically damage you, because what they did didn't bother you a lot whether it be mental physical or sexual. conversely someone who does not want, intend, or try to hurt you may scar you for life with something either they don't understand is harmful or isn't even inherently harmful and is uniquely that way to you.

i just. i'm annoyed at the narrative of trauma being taken away from the survivor themself. if i say this was traumatizing and you think it's not a big deal, too fucking bad, listen to me. if i say that wasn't traumatizing at all and you think it's the worst thing in the world upon hearing what it is, too fucking bad, you don't get to tell me what my trauma is. i'm sick of seeing people put words in each others mouths and tell someone's story for them without that person's consent. idk like? it makes me so angry that whenever i used to talk about things people would blatantly disregard the most horrific times of my life and instead focus on stuff i was neutral or even positive toward as a big terrible thing that ruined me.

nowadays i'm very grateful to have people who are chill and don't jump to conclusions no one asked them to. people who listen when i tell them "i know this sounds bad but it wasn't actually" or "i know this sounds stupid but this was world shattering." people who i get to laugh with. the RIGHT people who extend me the same kindness of knowing their strange "good bad things" and "bad fine things."

life just isn't as simple as "this is always terrible for people" and "this is always fine for people." PEOPLE aren't a monolith. yes, even that thing that you think must be the worst thing possible. yes, even that thing that you think no one could possibly be hurt by. it's hard to involve myself in serious discussions about abuse because there is a very clear Narrative people want to follow and if you as a "victim" don't follow it then either it didn't happen or you're wrong about your own experience.

hopefully I can consult my therapist about this phenomenon in discussions of abuse and trauma. and also about the specific thing that made me think of this. it irritates me quite a lot when others pity me for something that i knowingly chose-- and in retrospect never hurt me either. like what are you fishing for. why are you looking at me like that. i'm fine, maybe you're the one that needs counseling if my talking about this creates such a visceral reaction in you.

[wildflowercryptid]

if florian did manage to beat kieran in the bb champion match, ( i'm still debating if i wanna keep that in mjverse's canon or not, ) i feel like he'd definitely refuse to accept the champion title.

he didn't take on the bb league to become champion, he took it on so he could face kieran again. he never would've challenged the league if kieran wasn't apart of it, let alone attended bb academy as an exchange student if he wasn't there, so taking up the position doesn't feel right to him.

that and it's not exactly something he's passionate about, he'd much rather be exploring the terarium at his leisure and filling his pokédex. kid's a pokémon fanatic first and foremost, after all.

[notmoreflippingelves]

Thinking about how aggravating it is that fandom boils down a lot of really fascinating Ace Attorney ships to "oh, so we're copying narumitsu's homework again, are we?" --as though the only reason that someone might find plausibly these ships (romantic and/or platonic) interesting is surface-level similarities to the fandom juggernaut pairing and not like the compelling characters and their established bonds in and of themselves.

[running-in-the-dark]

.

[xhanisai]

I do kind of feel a bit spoilt with how the fandom pre-pandemic would share my work easily (fics getting hundreds and even thousands of notes on tumblr and on AO3 immediately and arts getting thousands of notes too). Back then, my work was so eUGH compared to the work I create now which is so much more polished and well thought out.

And now? It’s such a struggle for my art to reach even a hundred notes on this app alone and my fics take a long time to accumulate some attention on ao3. At first I thought it was because my creations have gotten WORSE lol but then I realised it’s been happening to all my friends too online.

Kinda sad tbh.

[carlyraejepsans]

either people with OCD need to stop being relatable or i need to see a doctor

[tempestclerics]

maybe i actually have learned some resilience across the past year because it truly has been a Day but. feeling more even keeled about it than i was expecting and that's a win

[jennyandvastraflint]

....... Anyone wanna come set the local post office on fire. (for legal reasons a joke)

[c1nn4-bunny]

Hi, I Do Commissions Now (Officially):

I've finally decided to actually start working toward getting commissions up and running.

I'm a silly little college student surviving off scholarships and a pell grant (I'm trying to find an on-campus job that fits into my already cramped class schedule), so all proceeds go to Helping Me Exist -- as well as saving up what I can to help with a home-life situation (that I don't feel comfortable publicly discussing, but just know that's my main motivator here.)

! Conditions Below Cut !

Guidelines:

Will Draw: - Humans/Anthros - Animals (Cats/Dogs/etc.) - MLP type ponies included - Also some Pokemon - Simple Robots - (Aesthetic) Gore - Minor blood, candy/pastel gore, etc. - Canon Characters - OCs (duh) - (Self)Ships - Not Pr-sh-p. I will steal your damn kneecaps. :] Won't Draw: - Mechs/Complex Robots (Sorry, I am simply too intimidated) - Excessive Gore - NSFW - Promotion of Bigotry

I obviously can't list out everything ever, so if you're unsure what may be acceptable please ask. I reserve the right to reject any commissions I'm uncomfortable with.

Mari helped me set up a Venmo so uh. Using that.

I try to check things as often as possible, so if you haven't gotten a response back on accepting your commission I promise I'll get to it -- I just have a bunch of other stuff on my plate at the moment. <3

Due to class scheduling, pieces should be completed within an average of 1 week (lower end being maybe 1/2, and higher end being 1 1/2), but I try to focus entirely on them so it should be as soon as possible. :3

[zincbot]

the hits stop coming and they don't stop coming

[tardis--dreams]

There's silverfish in this apartment so the only chance for my body to get some rest would be collapsing from exhaustion otherwise i will not sleep for a While

[rotisseries]

THAT’S SO COOL????? I’m not into video games but GOD they reincarnate and are in love every time??? princess and knight??? also I’ve been wanting to say this for ages but link is sooooo gender. you get it

so. they are in love in the sense that nintendo is queerbaiting me. queerbaiting me with a "straight" couple (they are lesbians). they are not canon they kissed only in the second ever zelda game when there was only the barest story and they were nothing more than pixel sprites and they have not been canon since. and because every game is technically a different link and a different zelda, each individual game varies on how shippable they actually are? like, I'm not very far through twilight princess yet but I've heard they're pretty much just coworkers in that one. the three latest mainline games though, they're like. they're pretty much canon in all but name like you could say it's platonic but like at that point you are running on loads of denial. the three latest mainline games are skyward sword, which is the first link and zelda, the start of the cycle. the plot ENTIRELY revolves around how much link loves zelda. cause they're best friends, hyrule as a kingdom doesn't even exist yet (they live on an island in the sky) she falls to earth and is running around having to discover that she's a reincarnated goddess (that's a whole angst factor btw bc the goddess (hylia) had to fight demise and she won but knew it was temporary and knew demise would have to be defeated again, and that he would need to be defeated with the power of the triforce, which can only be wielded by humans, so she decided basically that she'd need a loyal human knight, and so she reincarnated into a human girl because a girl is loved in the way a goddess isn't and she knew someone would love a human girl enough to save her WHICH HAPPENS so basically zelda gets to have an identity crisis was she just dragging link towards this destiny the whole time? did she truly love him? did he truly love her? are they puppets in this grand plan? "I'm still your zelda" she says to him, but is she??? drives me nuts) and he, ever loyal, keeps running after her to save her again and again and again (link is so dog coded there's a great botw fic about this), and then they defeat demise and he curses them and link is just some guy who went through ALL THIS SHIT cause he LOVED zelda. what if you were in love with your best friend and it cursed you and your descendants for the rest of time this is so francesca by hozier I'd tell them put me back in it I'd go through it again if i could hold you for a minute. and then the next two mainline games are breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom and breath of the wild involves an amnesia plot so you basically watch link fall in love with zelda a second time and then in tears of the kingdom they are. common law married. they share a house. there's only one bed. do NOT get me FUCKING STARTED on the hateno house. and nintendo still plays FUCKING COY zelda's english va has to be like "they... have a really close bond...." this is how I know they're queer you wouldn't do this with straight people. and then people also ship ocarina of time (most popular and well known game of the series most praised for its story) zelink a lot but that's an older game I haven't played yet so I can't speak on them. zelda is so transmasc in that one though this I know. I talk about link being genderqueer a fair amount and everyone on this internet knows link is trans but trust. zelink is t4t

[nebulouscoffee]

Friends I crave distraction. Please feel free to send me random Star Trek asks - about the shows, the characters, hot takes, theories, your fics, my fics, someone else's fics- anything is fine, I would very much welcome it