#I'm looking to date someone again
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Pros of dating me we will cuddle and I'll cook for you whenever you want and you'll get "my girl can wear whatever she wants cuz I can break your jaw" privileges, cons of dating me I have anxiety, self-esteem issues, and mood swings.
#not like angry mood swings just from good and social to angst#and isolation#ngai fs#I'm bisexual btw#I'm not intimidating enough at default for scary dog privileges#plural#plural system#endo safe#adult system#adult plural#this is half a joke half serious#I'm looking to date someone again#I'm a queer cis dude for those who care#but like... cis+#I'll wear skirts and i can do your makeup and im not worried about like... performing masculinity
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when max is depressed we know something's wrong because lucas says with his words that he knows something's wrong but when mike is depressed we don't think anything of it because will's right next to him rolling his eyes about how stupid straight people are
#briony babbles#1) don't assume people's sexualities#I recently saw this from my family members#reacting like !!!!!!! to a girl they know... also like girls?#'oh wow I didn't see that coming' yeah that's because you don't think girls liking girls is normal#so it's sad to see queer people do the same thing bc you KNOW irl queer people act like will#2) I get it romance is stupid people who aren't queer at all and having all these stupid rules for engaging in it are especially stupid#but I listen to my sister talk about her boy drama because I care about her#and it's not just 'how to get them together' it's 'how to help her feel better'#I'm not 15 so maybe I'm being unfair with my wisdom that will doesn't have because he is 15 but like#if I see someone I love people pleasing and feeling like they owe someone a romantic relationship because they're too empathetic#I tell them they should consider working on their boundaries#because I want them to be with someone who makes them truly happy#and then with mike it's just ASSUMING that it's el in THAT WAY#when the only relationship advice he wants to hear is that it's okay to break up with el and still be friends#because he can't lose her again#and ONCE AGAIN he is NOT STRAIGHT#assuming things is stupid! even if he WAS straight but he wasn't happy in the relationship it would be okay to go back to being friends!#mike's problems are just as individual-specific and difficult to understand for his friends as max's are#especially because they won't just say it#but max gets lucas who tries so hard to understand without being told#and mike tries so hard to tell will without saying it outright and will keeps not hearing him#i'm sorry i wasn't there 'it's not your fault' no 'i disappeared' no no you didn't! i just didn't look hard enough. but i see you now#fanon won't tell you this but the point of byler s4 is for *will* to prove that he's good enough for *mike*#mike already did that by being the best bf in the world before they were even dating for the first 2 seasons of the show#saved will's life twice and y'all wanna act like mike doesn't deserve him. shut the fuck up
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Of course the one date we get in Ep 6 is this headache orz
Moves: 27
Score: 1024 Points
Best Points: 600,000
Date: 12/09/2024
#link click#link click spoilers#sometimes i just want to shake the animators by the shoulders a little#what is this 2024? Is this intentional or an error? why are there so many errors around dates specifically in Bridon#is LX secretly from 2024 and he traveled back with his phone?#is this scene Actually taking place in 2024 (or 2025 even) (somehow)#the thing with that date though is that I'm not sure if it's written in the european way or american way#if it's american then that is one day before Liu Xiao's bday#but if european hey look it's Sept 12th again!#i also saw someone point out the current score can be read as Oct 24 which is lg's bday#and the last block LX got in this tetris game that caused his gameover is the L block#as for moves 27... i wonder if that means anything#i don't trust any number on this show anymore xD
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pleaaase may i have 28 and 29 aramour angst ✨ i crave it
28: “Move out of my way before I make you.” // 29: “You deserve better.” (prompt list here)
click for better quality!
#the brainrot!!! so strong. anyways. to confront the woman dating your ex when there's super high tension....#anyway!!! highschool(?) modern au where the popular girl/ queen bee is whoever resident king henry is dating.. hm..#oh the tension between someone who used to serve you. now having taken your place. and you knowing the ins and out of that position..#especially that it's not all it's cooked up to be!! lots of thoughts about this au#art-wise i drew these as storyboards before i realised i cant video format well without audio so they're just here in storyboard form#i drew these in sketchy drafts and then in sketchbook then spent 2h lining them digitally bc the scans were yikes. anyways. i lost a frame#somewhere and it was before the “you deserve better” and it was like. “take it from someone who knows#fun fact!! i showed this to multiple irl friends without dialogue as i was drawing it. neither of them know the characters but.#immediately pinpointed exes vibes. and enemies to lovers. and basically homoerotic arguing tension.#remarkably pleased at how that was conveyed (and also amused. i love my friends). anyway if i were to do this again? then i'd draw in the#frames instead of re-doing the sizing after tracing. yikes that was an experience.#anyway!! (x3) anon i hope you enjoy the aramour angst. i hope it has something. i craved it a lot as i was drawing this#six the musical#six the musical fanart#catherine of aragon#jane seymour#also the characterisation was lowkey based off how mean girl seymour is absolutely a thing in the show. some of her lines. savage.#parallels!!! in show the "oh boohoo [..] i DIED'' and attacking aragon.. the rivalry here.. aaaagh#also!! the last line is a slightly paraphrased letter from aragon to her father(?) i think. found it online while looking for how she wrot#because i wanted her to sound more queenly... you also see it in how she's unbothered and rather unimpressed throughout seymour's posturing#the confidence in herself. meanwhile jane is defensive and a bit more prone to being flustered <parallels emotion in show script>#i'm just. very proud of these drawings together. narrative can be so very nice. the last two frames are kinda like a postscript.#sometimes the brainrot really gets you!! alright have a nice day.. comms are open and the fact that no one is taking them up rn feels a bit#sobering. but it's okay! i'm not in a rush.. it's more for the experience. hm. i wonder who wrote yes in the poll though#(can you. tell my ego is a little bruised?) nvm onwards!! eventually i'll get good enough to actually sell my stuff :OOO#oh an addendum: lowkey inspired by all the bathroom girl-on-girl confrontation scenes. one off the top of my head is the one from heathers#but there's quite a lot of those tbh
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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Tuvok-B'Elanna dynamic at its core to me is Weird Girl on Playground vs Girl Who Walks Right Up To Her & Says "You're Weird." while everyone else just heavily implies it. Also, the reason Seven/B'Elanna works so well is their weirdgirl 2 weirdgirl communication Also 2) Seven is going THROUGH it with Janeway...Janeway is Seven's Popular Girl Friend who's sort of being condescending to you but also is genuinely trying to be nice and also there's a lesbian undertone to all your interactions as she tries to get you to submit to a makeover and that relationship will be with you forever and you'll never be able to fully say it was good or bad - yet it haunts you. Seven's relationship with B'Elanna is thinking "I hate her boyfriend so much I could treat her better" so hard that her head explodes. You know Tom did something at/before prom and Seven swooped in. You know this to be true. B'Elanna thinks Seven is so pretty and why would she even hang out with a loser like me? Why be a weirdo when you could just be popular Miss Perfect??? And they have this sort of antagonism but understanding of one another even as they keep pissing each other off and being annoying.
#Seven/B'Elanna is weirdgirl4weirdgirl#Sorry to say but Janeway is SO the popular girl who is nice to nerds but also plainly thinks of them as little projects v_v#Also not sorry to say but Tom is so 'B'Elanna you're like WEIRD you're not at ALL like other girls you're like WEIRD and I love it you're#like literally CRAZY you're the WEIRDEST girl ever not like all these other normal boring girls we should date'#I saw someone shipping B'Elanna/Kes at one point and you know what? I'll tell you something: Weirdgirl4Weirdgirl yet again - Bug girl Kes#Anyway Tuvok & Janeway are preps (evil) sorry v_v#Tom is the rich kid who dresses like he's not rich and keeps saying like no guys my DAD is rich but like ugh I hate him I'm not ABOUT that#fake glitz & glam life but you KNOW it's kind of an act...like it's kinda not but also it is.#Harry is an everyman...he's the TRUE nice popular kid#Tom is explaining D&D to him and Harry's like 'Hey dude YEAH absolutely~!'#Tom explaining D&D to Janeway-Tuvok and Janeway-Tuvok keep sharing little looks. Janeway's like 'haha cute~' and Tuvok's like 'ew'#B'Elanna/Seven will have a computer lab romance. The computer lab was B'Elanna's spot but suddenly Seven transfers and is ALWAYS in there#idk why this turned into a highschool au - who knows#this started as a metaphor but no its serious now this IS the high school au
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why is my ex boyfriend who dumped me suddenly helping me find cheap skis and inviting me to vermont and talking about taking a job where i work what is going on 😭. i know we're still friends but is he stupid 😭
#is he regretting it and thinking of getting back together or is he completely stupid 🤣#this has been a shitpost#i told him there's no health insurance and the pay isnt good and i will need to think abt vermont#but wtfff#i should tell him i have a low key kind of date coming up w someone else i asked out last night 😂#but im not sure how to bring it up#i mentioned the work gala and if he asks abt it at all c he's interested in working there i will say i have a plus one#and maybe he will take that as a hint if he's actually thinking of getting back together#he literally offered to drive me to get the new skis and look at them and make sure they're good before buying#which is crazy bc he bated that i always wanted him to drive#and he was too lazy to come to my house to look at my skis while we were dating#he is not an acts of service guy to put it mildly#he's got to be making a move bc i had stupidly told him i would consider trying again when he dumped me 🤡#and there's no way to take that back without awkwardness#personal#anyway all i did was leave the ski group chat after he posted something innocuous and he texted immediately within a minute#and then sent me a listing on fb marketplace for skis the next day#and then offered to drive me to pick them up sonhe can inspect them for me#and he texted me for hours yesterday#i am being friendly bc we are friends but this is not the behavior we have had since breaking up#and now he's texting again#and right out of the gate it's about his job#and i had mentioned a couple months ago while we were dating that a music teacher position at my school would be available next year#and suddenly he's interested in that#?????#hello???#i know he's genuinely looking to leave his school but 🤔#anyway its a good thing I'm not interested bc if he's not actually interested and i was this behavior would be so stupid it would be cruel
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i have a crush on someone i met a month and a half ago who i only saw for a week then that i'm seeing again for a week now and that i'm gonna see for four more weeks from now until june this is what life is all about
#and like i say: brf slt#i hadn't had a CRUSH on someone in literal years. like it was bad for me and this isn't even bc i'm bored i'm just attracted to them. yay!#you have to talk to people to like people i'm finding. because i didn't notice that i was charmed until i was charmed by the talking#the way we met (lmao) is i'm studying to be a teacher. and they work in the middle school i spend a few weeks at this school year#but like that person is not a teacher they work there like when kids don't have class they'll be in a classroom doing their homework or#whatever and they would be the one like telling them to not make any noise#amongst other things#idk if there's a word for that in english it's a very specific job. and anyway. we had to go like where these people work like the specific#part of the school the last time we were there (me and the girl i'm studying with who's with me when i'm...at this middle school. it's like#an internship but it feels weird to call it an internship. but that's what it is) and they were like come see us again from 4 to 5 later#we'll do *this* and we played board games with the kids that were there and that probably sounds weird but it was very fun and funny and#that's when i was like waittttt. and then i looked for them on social media at midnight#i kind of didn't think about them once from six weeks ago to monday but on monday i was like omg i'm gonna see my crush again😁 and then i#did on tuesday and we had a fun interaction and everything because we're bffs. anyway. this is great#when i didn't see them on monday i was like omg what if they quit😔 but they hadn't.#it's just the right amount for it to be fun because like i don't know this person and i won't know them because i won't see them again#until march and after that until may but like it's fun for the weeks i do see them. saw them for 3 minutes on tuesday and like 25 today#it's a job YOUNG PEOPLE do it's not like an old person😭 we're around thesame age. i actually applied to a job like that 3 years ago but#i cried during the interview because i'm crazy like that. i had 2 interviews at 2 different high schools and i didn't cry during the#second interview but i still didn't get the job. lol. but as i was saying young person and i feel like we would genuinely get along like#in an ideal world we would all have drinks together like with my friends and everyone and we would actually hang out. me saying that#instead of like in an ideal world we would: date is you can't even dream a whole dream can you coded😭😭 but like. whatever
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I always thought when I found a good relationship of my own I'd stop being such a little hater vis a vis other people's romantic escapades, because surely I was just jealous, right ?? what I really wanted was to be that happy and in love, right ??? no one is that hateful and meanies over something that literally doesn't involve them, right !!!!
unfortunately, good reader,
#deerchatter#im not romance-repulsed unless someone is doing it stupid. unfortunately everyone in the world loves to do it so so stupid#i hate amatonormativity i hate the way it creeps into everything#i hate the uhaul lesbian jokes i hate the rushing into hyper-vulnerable relationships with the first person who volunteers to#hold your heavy heart for you. i know queer loneliness is real but guys for the love of god look after yourselves and remember your friends#the amount of friends i've seen end up in shitty awful situations because they thought they found the love of their life and would never#need anyone or anything else again after two dates is staggering. i'm sorry but it's not magically going to be healthy behavior just becaus#it's gay. take it slow. get to know that person first. hold on to the rest of your social net. christ it can go so wrong otherwise
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its a bit weird that i know both of my boyfriend's exes personally and even weirder that we all look like each other because he really has a type and there's the fact that his first ex shows up all the time on my instagram and his second ex is weirdly obsessed with trying to keep contact with him even though she was the one who left him for someone else (on december 23rd !!) and she stalked me on ig and she's friends with my roommate and like. this is my first time not being my partner's first gf so it's my first time dealing with ex gfs and it's all just super weird to me
#idk how to explain there's a bit of jealousy yes but mostly its just a weird feeling that i cant really explain#why are they both so close to me this is so unnecessary kfndkf#i think its a big green flag that they're both pretty and both very interesting people#and i cant say if them looking a lot like me makes me feel more or less insecure#bc yeah i sure am his type but am i enough like am i more or less than them (type of shit i think when im feeling insecure)#but in the end they both broke his heart and left him for someone else#i think what makes me mad is that they really did break him and i found him in pieces and watched as he picked himself up little by little#as we started dating and falling in love with each other but i know and he acknowledges that there are parts of him that broke forever#and the fact that they had these parts that i will never have because of them is what fucks me up sometimes#but at the same time he's grown and changed a lot and there are new parts of him now that they never saw and never will...#its not a competition i know but its really hard not to compare myself sometimes specially when theyre already so similar to me like#the comparison is already there its automatic kfndkdn u cant look at the three of us and not realize that we look like each other a lot#anyway#i think its more about my desire or my fantasy of having him all for myself#or of wanting to feel like im special and unique and not just another one??#its so dumb because its obvious that i am and he makes it very clear to me all the time#but thats it. i'm dumbbbb#im not even feeling bad rn i just saw his first ex again (she goes to the same hairdresser as me lol) and these thoughts came back again#so i wanted to vent#i think i deal with all of this pretty well but knowing how to deal with these feelings and thoughs doesnt mean they dont occur at all#ok im doneeee
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Ya'll actually have crushes? Couldn't be me. You'll never catch me swooning over some loser
#I'm 16 and never actually had a crush#im not sure what this means#i can picture myself in a relationship with a chosen person but I've never seeked out being with someone romantically#like the nervous oh hiii omg they looked at me aaaaahhhh#like it would be fun to date you#but then again#i don't care#never gonna catch me swooning over some looser fr#lgbt#aromantic#?#maybe?#i keep picturing myself dating theoretical people tho#but if i don't decide to have a crush i don't#more tags than post lolll
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I'm sooo hot
#➳ the fool speaks#srry jk I'm Nawt . i love myself . i mean i could be less mentally ill but my looks ? my interests ? my taste in music ?#again if i were someone else and knew me . does that make sense . I'd have the FATTEST fucking crush on myself godddddd#cute brunette with glasses who occasionally dresses like . vaguely alt ? who listens to rock ? fuuuuuuck it'd be over for me#i kinda am my own type honesy#*honestly#from my looks to how i try to be with my partner to my interests to like 95% of my personality#mmmmmmphhh#i mean I'd benefit from someone who's less dramatic than I am and complains less openly n stuff . erm#but I'm working on that !! so I'm on track to become my own ideal partner actually . i should just buy a big mirror and wheel it around w m#everywhere and date myself . joke . i crave intimacy with another separate living being . but still DAMNNNN i love myself . I'm nawt perfec#but I'm going a pretty damn good job at this whole life thing . so far . i guess !#** feel i should clarify ''srry jk I'm nawt'' is ''sorry haha nevermind I'm nawt sorry I'm super hot and unapologetically think that way#about myself'' but i think w the rest of this it's obvious i meant it that way djdjsjdjdj
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soooo
#guys i'm dating someone again 🤭#and i rly hope it works out better this time 🥺#i already think i'm starting to fall for him adgjk#we had a 2nd date this week and it was good#i just feel comfortable around this guy honestly more than with the last one#it's also happening slower like no kiss on the first date lol altough it was good then i'm not mad about it#it makes me feel less pressured#the first date we went on a little walk (actually up a pretty steep hill in the city xd but with a lovely view) and then coffee#2nd date we went for breakfast and i'll probably see him again next week 🥰#and yeah this he's just so sweet and genuine i love that 🥺 i don't feel judged by him and it all feels more effortless#(with the other guy honestly i did at times feel intimidated about how he had his life together and that he'd judge me for mine lol)#also he's much more my type looks wise what i typically like he has such a cute smile and warm eyes 🥰 and also he's reaaaally tall haha#he's over 2m tall to be exact 😆 but not in an intimidating way and i'm also quite tall so i like this fact 🙈#but one thing which was so cute is when we met how his face lit up omg 🥺 and like how he looked at me 🥰#(the other guy was mostly hot in the very athletic fit body way with this one i find him attractive overall and also kind of cute)#and yeah i keep thinking about him and if i should text him but i never really know what to text 😂 i'm the worst texter#at times i don't even text my best friend like it's never personal i'm just better to meet in person hahah#and i'm just much happier these days thinking about him dgjkll 🤭🤭
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I have to stop falling in love with the emotionally unavailable autistic and / or depressed geek lesbian
#i swear i don't know why it keeps happening#look I'm most likely neurotipical. HSP doesn't count as neurodiversity.#it's like i want myself to fail in the pursuit of love#i didn't develop myself to get stuck again with someone who will put me down. and I'm talking about the emotionally unavailable bit#lesbian#femme4butch#dating struggles#edit: apparently hsp is considered a form of neurodivergence... well that explains a lot
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"I'm not hypomanic," I say at midnight after spending a day downing a huge coffee, energy drink, and soda, on the first day in months I got to experience sunshine
#i normally sleep by 10/11 bcuz i have to wake up early for my unfortunate adult job#but now its midnight and i have both the energy and the drive to stay awake#i really want to stay up all night again. its my favorite#its fifty degrees out right now at midnight. i have my window open and its comfortable. if not a bit warm#and when i got my huge coffee this morning they gave me a free energy drink that they made to take a picture of#and then i had a soda with dinner. dont tell my psychiatrist#my psychiatrist is right about a lot of things. my caffeine intake is one of them. unfortunately i am a problem#so we'll continue telling her i only have a morning coffee#i get to see her tomorrow!! i have to tell her my meds are making me feel like shit#i hate meds but unfortunately my mental illness will murder me if i dont find a med or two#fortunately we're heading into an easier season to be mentally ill in. when theres sunshine and i can go outside the illness eases up#so it would be less dangerous to be figuring out meds if we decide thats necessary. i also get to tell her that im moving!#a couple sessions ago i had a breakdown and told her i actually hadnt been taking my meds for quite awhile and my home life was bad#so we got me back on my meds and she gave me some tips to get out bcuz tbh half my mental problems come from living with my family#so i get to tell her I'm leaving!! yippee! but also that my meds are murdering me. oh no#also sorry this is completely unrelated but i just realized its been twice now that ive been dating someone snd thought all was fine#and then like a week later they leave me very suddenly. i figured this out cuz someone liked a personal post from three-ish years ago#i was talking about how my then-gf wss helping me move and she was so sweet and i loved her so much#and then a week after that she told me she felt trapped and didnt see a future with me. wild! that wasnt her breaking up with me btw#she seemed legit surprised when i broke up with her after that. but it happened again with my recent gf!#i told my therapist we were great and then a week later she left. but tbh in both of those scenarios looking back im not surprised#the first. i had to beg while crying to help me move. she was actively an obstacle to me moving. and we had a shit anniversary right before#the second had been checked out for awhile and i was considering breaking up with her too. but it seems like all will be fine#and then suddenly it wont be. weird! i think i will become a nun. but anyway! def proba hypomanic#but i dont care because thats the only way i get to feel happy!!!!!!!
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Decided that it is time for me to get into a relationship and now I don't spend my weekends by rotting in bed anymore. No. Now I spend my weekends by rotting in bed with expectations.
#dating#how do i do that#i tried grindr#never again#i'm afraid#of dating apps#what happens if I find noone?#what happens if I find someone????#I don't even look for friends I just get adopted by random extroverts#i hope thats funny for you#nah I think I'll continue listening to love songs that make me cry
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