#I'm making this post to document stuff
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"what are you" a cognitohazard. a co- do i really have to explain the SCP foundation to u rn. on tumblr dot com be so fr.
#i'm a binary trans man but i realised this was probably too niche for the instagram comments section#but i feel like an adventurer who just discovered a new species rn so i had to document it#u didn't hear? yeah they actually make u post it to tumblr dot com whenever u discover a new response to “what are you”#slash “what's in ur pants” slash “what's your gender” slash etc etc etc#idk if the term cognitoharzard exist outside SCP i feel like it might but that's where i know it from so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i also disclaimer don't know much about SCP stuff. i listened to readings of heaps of stories for like a few months#shoutout SCP Archives ily#it's funny SCP actually reminds me a lot of The Magnus Archives#some of them were just so incredibly the flesh. or the spiral or the desolation or the extinction etc etc etc it was really cool#i gotta start listening to them again#just maybe during the day this time lmao#scp foundation#scp shitposting
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summer socks
#knitting#socks#2024knits#it's not that i don't make stuff anymore it's just i'm terrible at posting now#i miss documenting stuff tho
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These haphazard ideas for blogposts keep rotating in my brain:
writing interactive sex scenes in ways that I personally think are appealing and characterful
how characterisation can interweave with dom/sub dynamics in interactive sex scenes and how to make those dynamics feel well-rounded (I feel like this could be its own thing in addition to the above)
my specific feelings about the kinds of cute/adorable characters that are often called golden-retriever
various ways to write nonbinary MCs and NPCs without being weird about it
various ways to write gender-selectable characters in a way that I personally enjoy
#will I ever actually write these high-effort posts? perhaps#I have a two-page document with notes for the sex scene one... just need to expand and make it more coherent because there's a lot to say#and bullet points for the “write nonbinary characters without being weird about it” one#I'm sorting through my drafts and have... a lot of unfinished stuff aha#including this post which I made in a brief whirlwind of energy and then did not follow up on
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I could be finishing up art projects, or even writing my book! Maybe take some photography shots I need for said book - man, so many things I could be working on for my passion proj
Aaaaaand I'm playing Morrowind again. Slay action
#I did however finish decorating my sketchbook And my new year planner so. this is a little treat for me#what's on the horizon well. I can finish up the chapter 3 drawings and post those as a collection#I also have a southern belle Sam I'm almost done with! and a wedding dress Sam#I have the inspiration to do the vintage frosted cake from the prologue and one of the flashback scenes#I have a ton of stuff to do so it isn't out of lack of means I just. wan play morrowin. wealth beyond measure my friend#text#not art#should I make a thoughts tag. like how the cool tumblrinas do they have a tag specifically to document their thoughts#sam speaks. right well I would use that but I think I'd be hard judged for my kinning so I will not be doing that#late tag for the real ones: I COULD justify it by saying uh. I'm playing to better write the scenes that take place in Morrowind#or that I plan to write my Nerevarine's journal into a real journal complete with different colored topics and dates#but I could also just say I need to enjoy something without the 'go go go' of productivity. woe upon my troubles#tes#morrowind#screenshots
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Recent life photos
#photo diary#image 1 & 2 - of course these are just cloud images. But a cool pattern of them :0#3 - another word count of game writing... aargh... Still debating about like allowing other people into the game discord or how early#in the process one should do that.. but social things are just so difficult for me lol.. I shall always suffer for my lack of networking an#self promotion skills. 4 - I was forced to get a new phone a few months ago because my beloved phone of like 10 years finally#broke too much. and I always like to go through the emojis and make a little memo with all my favorites. yaay little pictures of things.#5 - I FINALLY finished all the dictionary entries for the game (which has a little dictionary feature in the player's journal to note#any specific terms and keep track of them (like what 'jhevona' or 'avirre'thel' means. or to remember that the world is called Nanyevimi#and the country they're in is Asen. etc. etc.)). There are 75 defined terms so far and it took me a while to do so out of curiosity I put#all the text into a wordcounter thing and lol.. 8000 words isnt that much I guess but the 30 minute reading time is funny to me. 30 minutes#for my little tiny dictionary panel in my quaint little casual visual novel which is not even lore heavy at all. hee hee (though that's mor#like a minute here and there since obv people are not unlocking every term all at once. you complete the dictionary as you talk to people#and hear them mention new concepts over time.).. ANYWAY..#6 - a very soft and beautiful stuffed animal that I did not buy but wanted to at least document their charm.#7 - stimky boye waiting in front of his favorite straw meowring screaming for someone to play with him (he likes to chase the#straw around). 8 - matcha bubble tea my beloved. 9 & 10 & 11 - some cool flowers I saw. also featuring one of my favorites (columbines!)#Anyhow.. as mentioned in the other photo diary post.. I have just been packing and writing mostly.. The evil summer is coming of course#which me and my health issues always dread. Good news though is I finally got my passport in the mail! >:3 huzzah. Now I just need to find#some fellow aromantic asexual living outside the US willing to take one for the team and fake a marriage with me so I can get the#hell out of the country UwU (<joking) (...mostly... as in - definitely NOT my main goal. but if a viable opportunity presented itself I#would of course give it consideration lol). I know that's already highly regulated but I wonder if it's something that will become even mor#locked down as people hunt for any opportunity to flee. People are out here searching for any loophole. Frantically researching their#entire family tree seeing if there's any chance for a citizenship by descent in whatever place will take them. etc. etc. lol#So I wonder if such marriages are a thing that will come up more often. hmm.. ANYWAY..#I have almost all of my stuff packed even though I don't move until another 1-2 months. But that's the point is to have it all sorted early#in the last remaining scraps of ''cooler'' weather so that then I can just relax up until then. I'm going to try doing another scrapbook#/sketchbook this summer as a Mood Boosting effort. Just to find little things to help with the situational political existential dread and#climate woes. So on days it's too hot to function I can just glue little things to pages and doodle lol.. hopefully.. slowly getting things#off my to do list.. I reaaaaaally want to get back to playing games as it's so fun and realxing to me but..rghgh.. 500 other things..
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haven't written a single word in either of our AUs today because of travel prep + so so so sleepy and I'm trying to be so brave about it but I miss my blorbos. When will our blorbo time come back from the war (end of year festivities)
#saltposting#Honestly PROBABLY literally can write tomorrow on the train#(I did put everything from Quoll into Notion so we can reference it on the go and handwrite new stuff to put back in Quoll later)#but man we've been writing before bed EVERY DAY since november 1 & this break from routine? I don't know what to do with myself right now :#I'm an hour late to bed so writing is incredibly not an option I can't even think at all I'm just running my mouth (keys) right now but#oughh. What if I want to make the blorbos kiss instead of sleep so we don't die tomorrow. What of it. :(#(I will be reasonable but at what COST. Other Salts who are going to handle the travel if I don't you better appreciate me and my efforts!!#fic: to escape an empire#fic: sweet atonement#not that this post gives any actual info about either but!! writing process documentation#which reminds me.#writing post#There we go!#Now that I've complained about not being able to write about my blorbos I feel less Unroutined. I'm off to bed for real
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i should never have pursued adhd meds theyve made me too powerful
#i absolutely have the ability to see this project through and the prospect is mildly terrifying#worldbuilding/planning document has reached. nearly 5k?#its slowing down honestly although I do still have a bunch of blanks in the timeline i need to fill in#but I'm actually really really looking forward to this. especially bc im not actually gonna be posting it till it's nearly done?#so im just writing it for me and not influenced by the dopamime cycle of posting chapter by chapter for feedback#anyways. its nice to be able to do things again that arent just consuming media. i missed making stuff.#even if that stuff is a danny phantom massive longfic where i get to project all my shit onto him like a queer stress ball 💙
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Some interesting text found on the code: Part 1 - Leftovers from DQB1
Context: The stuff that appears in <> are control codes. I will translate what text they turn to in-game for ease of reading, so don't worry. Some of them have pretty obvious names though.
Note: I'm just one person, and I have no idea of anything ever, so if I get something wrong please tell me. please please please.
1:
<Cap> = Capitalize the next word. <def_sgl_string(lstrl)> = Basically 'give me the name of this thing' <IfPlrNoun(fall,falls)> = present verb conjugation depending on if its singular or plural ['it' falls/'they' fall] "[Object] fall/falls apart!"
This is for when the equipment breaks, but they removed item durability in the second game so it goes unused. Scary thinking it was planned originally though.
Here's the line in the first game:

(I also marked the training line- because I have no idea where that's even from honestly...)
2:
<pname> = player name "[Player] is prevented from using items!"
This is a status effect from the first game. As far as I'm aware this is a 'final boss' thingie only. And I guess when they imported the status mechanic from the first game they didn't remove it, even though it's not used in the second game I think. Correct me if I'm wrong though.
Here's the equivalent line from the first game. Mild spoilers for the final boss of the first game, although it's a decades old boss at this point...

(I think the line differs slightly because of translation stuff.)
3:
<pname> = player name <key> = waits for player input before continuing "[Player] will put the MAGIC CARPET away and leave everything where it is. Is this okay?"
Call me crazy, but I think there are no Magic Carpets on the second game...
4:
<pname> = player name <string(lstrl)> = 'give me the name of the base' <morf(he,she)> = Gender <morf(his,her)> = More gender <key> = waits for player input before continuing "[Player] will warp back to the base, but they will lose some of their items on the way. Are you sure you want to do this?"
This is the 'oh shit, I trapped myself in a hole and broke my hammer and have no items to build myself out of it' option in the first game. Speaking from experience. (Instead of waiting forever to starve you have a 'kill me faster please' option) It's completely removed from the second game, because you can always warp away, hammers don't pull a BotW, and you get to keep the expanded inventory throughout the whole game (you should always have access to some blocks...). The button screams 'bad game design too'. Why would you build a system where the player can just get stuck somewhere? That's not fun.

Here it is in-game.
5...?
I had something else here, but it spiralled out of my control so I'm splitting up this post into 2 for clarity's sake. oops
#dqb2#dragon quest builders 2#dqb#dragon quest builders#Something here is definetly wrong and I acknowledge it#I look in the code to learn new things so please tell me new things I dont know#If you say 'this was already documented somewhere' i will SCREAM (cry)#because nothing about code realted information of this game is ever just all siting on one easy to find place#I think I'm going to have to make a 'code related stuff on dqb2' blog JUST to compile all the known trivia BECAUSE#I am going insane#08 || Hellish Yard#I'm tagging Malakhi on this post because it's the only one I have with him
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Tomorrow I am going to print out a picture of my work I have drawn Sans into and stick it up on our picture board and see how long it takes everybody to notice
#Charlie Stuff#Just making this post to document how long it takes#For context: we have a big board full of pictures of everybody who works here#Most of the people on the board don't work here anymore#And a few of us who do work here aren't on it#(The two most recent hires and me) (I'm not on it by choice I hate being in pictures) (Very relieved they're cool about it tbh)#But this weekend I'm the only one with keys so I have to be annoying for when they get back y'know?#And there are a few gaps where pictures have fallen off so it's perfect#If it goes on for a while I might make more pictures and slowly add them to the board
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Quick engagement test for something me and a couple of friends are throwing around:
If I made some sort of Google form/poll/something else(?) to ask folks about what their fav yog ships are, would people be interested?
I'm mostly intrigued by seeing the data for what some of the the most popular ships in the fandom are, and also why if folks wanna share.
The form will most likely ask for your top 3 ships, and have an optional place to put in why you like them! (This way people can add some smaller ships they really like as well as bigger ones that may be more popular)
#yogscast#this is also up to any amount of changes! if anyone has a preferred method for doing this or suggestions for how to make it better-#please tell me! I wanna survey as many people as possible bc I want a big test group!!!#I'm genuinely interested in what ships have stuck around in peoples minds this long and to see what new stuff I haven't seen before :)#I'll probably release all the ship reasonings in a document after the fact too (as long as people are ok with it!)#this would also preferably be only for yogscast fans so the data isn't too skewed#moth.txt#sorry for rambling lol. lot on my mind !!!#this will be post-ship bracket but I need some time to set it up#I would appreciate if folks could rb this around!
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on the one hand, i really like working on the script for this video essay. on the other hand, it feels like im just being super negative and and a hater towards the entire toh fandom because they like making their dolls kiss
#im not trying to intentionally bash ships? but I also very rarely care about ships so#im worried this is just gonna come off as “ughhhh I hate fandom because theyre' always shipping stuff and I hate shipping”#which like. thats a little true but I actually do wanna talk about things yk#like why is this ship popular? why is this ship loved/hated by the fandom?#i dont know#like i spent 3 pages tearing into goldric for being boring and only existing bc people love snarky teen mlm#which is like. its true but also feels unecessarily harsh lmao#i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwww#i need more people to bounce ideas off of maybe#bc i am not super involved in the shipping side of fandoms#ive chatted w/ some people but mmmmmmm#idk. im definetly gonna ask if anyone wants to beta read my script but only once I actually. finish it#currently im like. maybe 3/8 of the way through it#lilac post#idk. feel free to talk 2 e about it in the replies of this post or smthn bc I loveeeee this topic#it's also like. The issue of. I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing#like someone's gonna come in here and he like “why are you being such a hater we're all just playing around and having fun leave us alone”#I'm not trying to bash any ships!!!#im just trying to be like okay here's what the ship#it's difficult to say what I'm doing#because it's partially A. Documenting of toh fandom and shipping culture#and B. Social commentary about that culture#which is kind of like. A weird balancing act#and it comes back to how much of what I'm complaining about actually matters?#At what point does it turn from thoughtful commentary to me bitching about the general fandom as a whole?#It's kind of difficult to explain what I'm even doing which is mmmmmm#Like does this actually matter?#then again. People make videos about stupid internet drama all the time and that definitely doesn't matter so#maybe I can be self indulgent and a bit of a hater#sigh
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Recent-ish things ~
#photo diary#1 - love this image of Noodle.. such a weird angle that makes his head look entirely round like a puff ball or something#2 - a more recent (still from months ago) collection of my pressed flowers and 4 leaf clovers I found.#3. Being one of the only people in 2024 still going 'hee heee I've just bought a new wii game!' but.. I have. >:3#It's kind of like Wii Sports Resort but is like.. open world? so your character can actually walk around and stuff. REALLY makes me#wish I had the type of set up where I could record video from my wii and stuff like some gaming youtubers have. I think it'd be a really#fun game to play on video and to DOCUMENT it!!! I keep wishing I could screenshot my little guy walking around but I caaant..#I've literally just been taking out my phyiscal camera and photographing the screen which always looks bad.. augh..#4. Something in the froxen food aisle called 'Wellington Bites' a play on beef wellington. suprisingly good actually. but I guess anything#with like beef and mushrooms usually is. But it seems like.. oddly decent for frozen food stuff.#5 - boye looking Round again.. 6 - updated score in the wii fit minigame again. This time less than 4 seconds#for each round? which may be a record for me? 7 & 8 - fat bird in the snow. fatt bird in the SNOW!! Hoping that climate change and H5N1#don't eventually remove all trace of birds and winter weather from my life in the future... -_-#9 - ..ough... a few paltry writings.. Except for the one day of 4000 words. But for the most part I have been making soo litte progress#because of the holidays and drs appointments and such a rush of all these other mind distracting things.. Or if I'm not doing something the#I'm feeling tired from having PREVIOUSLY done something so I waste the whole day being sleepy and headachey... GRR...#the funny thing is that like many many years ago I wrote a note on my wall saying 'FOCUS! write 2hr a day or more or youre going to finish#your game in 2025!!!' - which back in 2018 when I wrote it was like unimaginably far into the future but now... ahem.. hem... I guess that#is quite literally the case LOL. To my credit I did parctically abandon it entirely since late 2019 and JUST now picked up really#trying to focus on it in mid 2024 but still... My '''ridiculous'' projection being actually likely the correct one..#10 - I just thoughtit would be silly to put a bunch of keychain things on the wii remote. imagine playing this way. getting constantly#jabbed in the hand by plastic bits. and the jingling clinking noise it would be always making lol#11 - sky.. huzzah for the sky as always. Clouds my beloved#Gr.. I just really want to wriiite. My new years hopes are to finish my game and to get stuff set up to start selling sculptures again.#AND then maybe do more game videos lol... I miss playing games. I dont think I've posted on that youtube for like 5 months#I've just had so much appointments and Things and Stuff and focusing so much on other projects. But that is the thing that really#feels relaxing and fun for me. so like.. 1. finish game 2. sell sculpture/make sculpture 3. play games 4. find more friends#and social connection and networking or whatever the hell people have to do to be successful 5. do more costume/outfits.#<( saying this all on a day where I did none of those things LOL... I got erm.. maybe 400 words done today.. >:'3c )#6 is MOVE away from the evil west coast (hot.. fires in summer. etc) but like. not happening unless I suddenly become a millionaire so. -_-
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Broke down and made a timestamp document for Pac's streams 😔
#i talk#Arkanis talk#Not getting shared to RA it's just for my own sake#I just need to get rid of all the hundreds of translation transcript screenshots on my phone#I had timestamps for all his streams of September written down and I was gonna make a post for them#Then I was like ''you are INSANE. At least format them to be readable in an external document''#time is a flat frickin circle#I refuse to do what I did for the old VOD timestamp archive#but for my own sanity I need to keep notes on Arkanis or I won't be able to keep up with anything#Doing this for KarmaIand really helped and doing it for Q/SMP helped me remember stuff better#So god willing this will help too#I'm also throwing some of Kia's liveblog notes in there for additional context for my own sake
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speaking of happening to manage to go away to college ft. a shakespeare theater within walking distance & not just student pricing & pwyw but a freshman course taken at/with the theater / company, fun to think about all the nonzero exposure scattered all around to Theatre that i could be interested in & engaged with & respond to the idea of theatremaking big time but i had no context for this lmao like well i assume everyone adores Rehearsal & Playing A Role & Being Backstage or In The Greenroom just doing your own thing & the Idea of more of this, so that i feel neutral/average really
like on the note of no context, started dance classes as a Thing To Do when i was all of three? four? on the basis of [older sibling doing that] b/c like how else do i choose doing something. also did that w/[older sibling is being taught playing piano] + that i like to know how to do many things, like determined speedrunning of an edutainment learn to read computer program when i was three, except playing the piano never caught on for me (it'd be fine if it got to the point a song was muscle memory but i never got the hang of oh this note written here is [whatever it is without me having to count the steps in the staff] & ah that's here [without me having to look / count the keys]) so that was a miserable half hour weekdayly requirement for years. whereas dance was alright, & for a while the performance angle could be kind of fun for rehearsal, onstage, costuming, but didn't really have Roles, & was yknow everyone doing the same part at the same time & taller people in the back if there's rows, what older students did seemed more fun, plus like an annual nyc trip some did which didn't happen by the time it was relevant to me....but when it finally kind of kicked off like oh boy pointe shoes have panache & Make Noise (i suppose ideally you're quieter with it but ideally to me, Clonk Bonk Tap. & why not) but speaking of why not, that this also involved like oh shows that have Scenes & Roles even if this is all dance w/pantomime, got solos, costumes, more acting adjacent, more rehearsing, plenty of fun to me, unforch one of the most fun shows was ballet but in less Classical form & more character styles & i had the parent who could make anything into an ego issue who decided things Ought to be Classical despite knowing i enjoyed the more character style techniques as much or more lol so that was like, oh boy an adagio claire de lune quartet? pinch me. however a few more wins in there, fun getting to do a Cats inspired facepaint leg/armwarmers character that some absolute random audience member apparently liked so much their dad was like hey your number one fan, can we get a pic. which is in fact a great basis of an interaction to me
had a damper on dance class anyways from like lord the increasing gender "i'd rather not wear fitted dance garments" problems & my left knee getting more sensitive & my just more wearied like i don't see Fun Performances down the line, i was never doing this besides as a hobby, i'm gearing up to go to college where i kind of assume i could fail asap but the idea of keeping up with dance classes too is a bit much so what if we just didn't....meanwhile a drop of Drama(tm) in middle school, but just as like cycle of elective courses four per year so very Brief & i don't think was part of 6th grade's & yknow, middle school. but it was really fun to me still, not sure what all i even learned lol & yet. & like one time it was like uhh write your own scenes / play & Writing Original Stuff has never been a thing for me & is not only unrewarding but yknow difficult like i don't know. writing Vocab Sentences in like first grade i started to get annoyed at how contrived it felt & the teacher complained the sentences were too simple like clearly the context of what the word means is there but i'm sick of making up narrative beats & character arcs that have fuckall to do with me understanding what a bleacher is, but when i decided to Theme them on a computer game i enjoyed then i could rock n roll lol....anyway so Writing Material just became throwing preexisting characters in a bin & just being silly making jokes / stringing some fun plot along w/the acquaintances in the group assigned to be making this, & then Performing it was a high time i was like i love to do fun comedic stuff & be a villain, throwback to fourth grade and doing scenes from julius caesar like yaayyy nongendered casting b/c all the roles are guys anyway & i'm technically a villain which i enjoyyy, but i'm also like i wish anyone told me anything at all about acting techniques, i don't know what i'm doing beyond [talk loud enough]....feedback on the middle school class homemade performance was that nobody really knew what was supposed to be going on while watching it lmao like well that's fine b/c i'm not interested in writing fuckall, could've stood to have feedback that Enjoying Performing Onstage even that goofaroundly wasn't just expriencing the universal baseline lol ah well. my useful personalized feedback from middle school besides that as ever it was great that i got good grades & kept my head down (reading) was the librarian saying nobody checked out rebecca but i might like it, i did have fun & it's like oh nice when there's pleasant nontransactional gestures For No Reason i.e. you didn't even have to "earn" them, i was just getting to hang out reading in the library at the end of the school day. fond memory still like ah being readily handed one of the crushed oreos & gummy worm cups at the end of some early elementary school year Just Because i was there, wasn't that moved by like figurative pats on the head for good grades or what have you when i understood the conditionality of that just fine
in college like Introducing That Shakespeare Theatre like i sure did respond to getting to be up close & personal w/some professional actors & acting & plays, great time attending....kinda was tempted to get involved in the school theatre going on w/classes or productions but at this point it was like, i don't want my parents to be involved in anything at all ideally but especially not something i do suspect i'd genuinely enjoy & care about, plus it was like uh oh there'll be all these ppl older than me with even experience doing plays in high school & stuff :/ but another real damper was being around age peers incl my roommate who still Also had theatre experience & interest much more established & would be telling me like oh you're not a tenor if you're a man or oh you're not doing xyz right that way (based on their own perspective doing a whole other activity) like i love info & tips sure but not people feeling In Charge of me or even giving the awkward biting back genuine feedback wow nice good lmao....knowing some theatre people with theatre knowledge a bit helpful like oh these are some bway shows / cast recordings from like, the '00s & on, i've heard of Some of these, i've seen some macys parade show names....still just lacking context like what the hell Is broadway, just talked about like gonna take a while like it's this location & this technical capacity based venue designation & here's further context yet. still never really Did Theatre but seemed like a fun thing of Course ppl would be interested in, but luckily some Experiencing Performances, saw live stage shows in various mediums at various levels of professionality now & then, in retrospect like oh i think i saw some bway stuff Touring a few times, i just had no idea that was a ting, nobody explained shit lmao. disinterested parents who just kind of expected you to magically Pick Things Up by virtue of existing, but also don't ambiently pick up the things i don't want you to know about, you can bet it all always worked out great....parents at least a Bit interested in theatre / specific shows / recordings was certainly handy like oh okay not everyone would happen to be exposed to some shows even thusly, sure, but again like with no context / further info or really further way to engage with that....also backing off like i ripped off my siblings' pastime when i was three re: dance classes, just b/c their doing lively musical productions in high school seems super fun like i can't Also rip them off on that one (plus even like yeah family / parental proximity & attendance like eugh....)
like that the How Do You Even Get Context like all the time i'd be amazed if stuff i read or watched that i super enjoyed was like Also something i could find in the outside world, other people who liked it, even just the ability to procure it, like wow magical b/c yknow everything is just what i experienced by myself at home w/no significant onlineness yet or way to travel anywhere else. just pouncing on proximate enough things like queer & have to go to church? hell yeah tenor harmonies time & it's always Be Quieter Be Quieter lol well everyone else step it up, there's like 5x as many sopranos with 5x the rehearsal time going over The Melody....but seriously folks. only showing up late for an online breakout popular Current Bway Musical like oh hey btw what Is any of this? & still don't much know what goes on but at least a little more than i did for sure, plus i just don't keep my finger on the pulse of fuckall, i'm not so much more likely to check out musicals for the sake of being musicals so much more than i do movies b/c they're movies, maybe a little more likely though sure lol....& i just have more of that context like ohhh yeah i did super big time like doing live performance & theatremaking stuff the ways i got to / related activities, i just figured like well me & everyone else having the exact same response i'm sure. or same with enjoying taking it in, i suppose
which nowadays it's still like bummer i Never took in any acting technique just b/c it annoys me not to have anything besides idk making it up, also bummer idk how to sing any better than [also making it up] like no technique known barely in the same way, & i just like knowing things, i'd value knowing it just for singing to myself when nobody's around & i like to do a little performing too when pertinent, e.g. more than survive in the kitchen & i'm doing the choreography lol....utterly abstract though like i love to See people acting the crap out of acting & be like oh shit damn wowww, don't Really feel like ah actor au me is just over there....not even sure like ah you can be backstage in other ways, like i do not know how lol plus likewise i just don't think it's gonna come up yknow like we'll cross bridges when we come to them, who knows in this life. but i'm having the highest time ever as Audience, not live & in person but online & lively, like oh fuck yes finally digging into the relatively nicher more specific theatre live performace acting singing musicaling stuff i'd more specifically enjoy like pointing hands to head yelling are you seeing thising getting everything that i want so i do feel like it's worked out well. maybe low level for randos acting / singing instructing just cuz i like to Know & have the Option to wrangle playing around w/effects one can engage with but in the meantime like i Have always cherished proximity & audienceship so. fr Yayyy 💖
#have other realms of Hey Nice; Everything I Would've Always Wanted just in ways i can't really like ''show anything for it'' lmao#this is fine b/c i am not like oh wow i wish my life were centered on anyone else's kneejerk assessment & judgments; if only#oh yeah & that i've drawn. i also didn't have like ah my Ambitions surrounding that; a pastime of mine for a while#see the Classical Style interference that only had to do w/one parent's tastes & feeling it was an ego thing....#i liked to draw scenes / figures for fun; again both liking to know how to do shit but also in this case it was just fun Enough for me#unlike piano....& that unlike writing like ah i can do a scene / snapshot / just the one Figure w/o wrangling a narrative#microsoft word documents where i'd have like a page & a half of zany opening scenes / fun environments & then be like well uh.#i took some Art Classes b/c of my Pursuit but like painting etc was fine but Only fine. but yknow parent like ''Fine Art(tm) Realism is#the platonic ideal of visual arts; why would anyone pursue anything else'' & i'm like i like what newspaper comics do....#wasn't until i could be more online in college like oh yeah ppl Make Fanart & Post It (a concept that amazed me prior) & now so could i....#again like never moved to do ''original'' stuff so that also just gave me grounds to Draw besides in my notebook margins during class#inspired by some online comics makers / illustrators / fanartists too like oh neat just looks at Process & Technique & Style yaayy 💖#& now eventually able to go ''oh yeah; i guess my style is sure centered around emphatic Rhythm'' like rattle me bones the wip never ends#& getting so idiosyncratic / I Can Just Draw Whatever that it's shit nobody knows what i'm talking about? the dream too really
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personally, i dont see the fundamental difference between deleting your account and making a new one and deleting all your old posts, if we're talking about "running from ones past", then what are you tryna hide there, bud?
#mood#vent#the evidence of your past is gone regardless either way sooooooooooo#how is it so different and how do you keep convincing yourself you're morally superior?#i mean- this is me pretending I agree that that's true to play devils advocate a lil here#bc i know the only reason i deleted any account of mine was bc i just like fresh starts sometimes#and tbh i struggle to find a username i like and some website require me to delete & remake in order to change it#what-- is the problem that you struggle to hold on to me and keep track of me?#bc i promise as soon as i start posting my ocs people Will know who I am regardless of if I recreate-#at least yall and your kiwifarms stalking-ass followers will recognize it and immediately report back to their cult leader#so whats your issue here EXACTLY?#you're already documenting everything I do. so whats your issue?#i mean. is it bc other people wont 'know who I am' and what YOU think i'm like? even though other people- strangers-#already dont know who I am?#bc if thats your argument- I could say the same for you! how are people supposed to 'know who you are' when you delete all your posts?#there was only 1 time I actually deleted my acct out of fear of how ppl would treat me- and it was bc I was dating you!#you made me feel like I had to be Perfect. so quite frankly#blame yourself you bum#what can I say- ig i learned how to cover my tracks from you.#bc before you- I probably would have left it up even with all the bs happening at the time#and now I regret deleting it bc the only reason I did was to impress you with how Good I Am. 🤮#be honest- the reason you're upset is bc you cant use what was on that blog against me#even though what was on that blog PALES in comparison to the kind of shit you've done and posted.#ok ignoring you now and focusing on me again- there was so much art on that blog thats just lost forever and it makes me sad.#even any problematic things. I woulda wanted to keep it if only to keep an archive of my growth as an artist#plus there was a gif of hoody dancing to the thrill by wiz khalifa (i think that was the song I made the gif to) that i'll never get back 😔#i honestly have an issue with deleting my art in general- stuff that isnt problematic so dont start w me bitch- but- for some reason#I just used to get these urges to delete shit like out of shame. I think its bc of being trans and trying to stuff that down and feeling#ashamed that I even wanted to be the guy I wanted to be so I would just get rid of it all and .-.#theres a lil chunk of my comic art that's just gone forever and i wish ik everything I drew. at least I remember one of the ocs i deleted
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things that are not talked about enough in Love and Deepspace
i'm surprised i haven't found something like this for LADS, so decided to document some interesting things I found while playing. i limited myself to Main Story, Kindled Memories, Moments posts, texts, interactions, (or stuff you can proc while playing) and did not include limited time events or the chibi comics.
(i've definitely missed out on many so feel free to reblog and add your own encounters!)
read part 2!
Sylus and Xavier are big eaters
Rafayel gets seasick, despite being a fish
Sylus got lost in a train station once
Rafayel can hear fish scream
Nobody comments when Sylus polishes a gun in public at a cafe
Xavier and MC lived in the same building for 6 months before they find out
Sylus’s heart rate can reach up to 150 bpm, and he wants MC to sync to it
Nobody recognises Xavier while he’s wearing the Lumiere mask
Rafayel scolds a cat
Rafayel then made MC choose between him and said cat
This happens twice
Sylus goes ice fishing, often with little success
Xavier also goes fishing, often with more success
Nobody comments when the boys show up to the cafe in nothing but bath towels
MC has said that the dual-prong claw reminds her of a really big fork
Rafayel makes you choose between him and a cat printed on a badge
Sylus has implied that his muscles and abs are not real
Rafayel synced his phone to MC’s steps tracker at one point
Sylus also does this
Xavier names every bird that visits his house
Rafayel used a piece of bread as an eraser, then ate it afterwards
Sylus sleeps sitting up
MC loses a fight against 12 crabs
Zayne believes in mythical creatures (or, at the very least, unicorns)
Sylus’s nickname “Lil S”
Rafayel paints with the blood of his slain people sometimes
Xavier found a bird egg in one of his flower pots one day, and wants to boil and eat it
Sylus guides a scared duck back home
This happens twice
“I’m pretty sure there’s bad juju in that custard bread.” is a line Rafayel once said
MC accidentally grows garlic instead of daffodils
Zayne mistook a plastic bag for a white cat
Sylus gets his motorbike stolen
Sylus and MC were spotted on a joyride because they were wearing glow-in-the-dark glasses
Xavier’s Hunter Uniform is popular with kids
Xavier takes a photo using a public telephone
Sylus recommends tequila as a dinner option
The account named rafayel_ridable_fish_dinner
Zayne’s nickname at the cafe “Large 100% Sugar Latte To Go”
Sylus expressed an interest in baseball
MC is a true crime watcher
MC gifts Zayne a jar of air, and he recommends her to get a MRI scan
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace zayne#lads xavier#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads rafayel#i think this game is crazy enough for something like this#saw one for the ace attorney fandom and thought why not#hachianewrites
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