#I'm neurodivergent but not autistic but every so often one of my autistic friends finds some fan works that just...

[neon-moon-beam]

Excuse me, Ingo and Emmet are not "sad train men". They're actually very positive, wholesome, and supportive of everyone they meet. Not sure who needs to hear this or needs to interact with the source material or even just log off and touch some grass, but there it is.

If your first thought about Ingo and Emmet is "how sad can I make the sad train blorbos", you need to realize you either don't know how they actually are as characters, especially if you've only been following fandom interpretations, or else maybe you're just willfully ignoring the actual characterization, in which case you're treating them as though they're your personal OCs which can be alienating to other fans who want to see actual Submas. There's nothing wrong with making an OC if you don't want Ingo and Emmet to be themselves! If the characters are really starting to only be Ingo and Emmet in name and appearance only, you may want to really consider this route (yes, even if they're in an alternate universe).

If your first thought about Ingo and Emmet is "how unhinged can I make the sad train blorbos", you've got some ableist ideas about two autistic-coded characters, and you need to educate yourself and think about how your fan interpretations and headcanons might impact others. Fans of Submas tend to be neurodivergent, and they're especially popular with autistic people. Think about how painting Ingo and Emmet's autistic traits as "unhinged", "feral", "scary", or even singling them out as being not human (not talking about Pokemon Mystery Dungeon aus, or aus where everyone is a Pokemon, etc) because of their autistic traits is going to make autistic people feel. Seriously, think critically about it for two seconds. If you need a hint, the ableism is a huge reason many people have left the fandom, or refuse to engage with it.

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for Autistic Students

I managed to get really good grades both at school and university, but it involved a LOT of emotional anguish. I had this reputation of being really smart and nerdy, but the truth was I had to put in an almost inhumane amount of effort in order to sustain my grades. I lost perspective and sacrificed other aspects of my life - such as building friendships and having experiences - that I'm still catching up with, now.

If I had to do it all again, knowing I'm autistic, there are definitely some things I would change that would have made my life as a student so much more enjoyable. Read on to learn from my mistakes!

Spend time going over the things you aren't so sure on - I wasted a lot of time reading over and over stuff that I could recite off by heart, but to be honest I don't think it made one iota of difference to my grades. I tended to avoid the scary stuff I was struggling with, but with hindsight this would have been a much more productive use of my time. Identify the areas you know you are weaker in, and focus on plugging those gaps in your knowledge rather than aimlessly wading through course materials.

Look after yourself - it's all too easy when you're looking to get good grades to totally overwork yourself. But this can actually be counterproductive as when you are tired/stressed you are actually more likely to make mistakes and underperform. Try making a studying timetable for yourself, and make sure it has a cut off point so you know when to stop. Trust me - grades are not worth burning yourself out over.

Give yourself plenty of time to complete assignments/study for tests and exams - it's very common to hear other people on your course bragging about how the started a essay 2 hours before the deadline and still got an A, but don't listen to them. More than likely they're lying or at least exaggerating, but they are also NOT you. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For most autistic people - even those with executive function issues who are prone to procrastination - having to do things last minute can lead to overwhelm and burnout. A neurotypical person may be able to handle this approach, but for neurodivergent people this strategy could lead to a fallout period where you would need to recover. Starting ahead of time will allow you to pace yourself and ensure you have the chance to ask for help or clarification if necessary.

Try and make a few friends in every class - socialising often doesn't come easy to autistic people, but I promise going to class is much more bearable if you have a least one friendly face to look forward to seeing. Statistically speaking there is a really good chance there is someone else who is neurodivergent, and you likely can relate to each other's experiences more than a neurotypical person's. It also gives you people to arrange to hang out with outside of class, which is how friendships are built and sustained. Just a simple 'good morning' or complimenting someone on their clothes is enough to begin building a rapport.

Pay attention to your sensory needs - it's much easier to concentrate and take in information if you are comfortable. If the sun is in your eyes or if your desk is wobbly, ask if you can switch seats. If having a stim toy in your hand helps you concentrate, do what you need to do to get permisson to use one. Advocating for yourself can be scary, but it makes such a difference to your experience.

Did you find my tips helpful? Let me know!

[acinongalli]

Haiii, welcome to my blog! This is where the cutest enby fox loser in the world goes hog wild and does whatever they wants :3

check back every once and a while, this post gets updated :3

Some quick info about me:

•I'm 20 years old

•I'm bisexual/pansexual, and enby/fluid

•I'm polyamorous

•I'm part of a system (DID)

•I consider myself a very accepting, loving person to anyone who spends time with me.

•I am autistic, and do struggle with depression, self-doubt, and anxiety.

My blog has no set purpose, so expect anything to appear on here, from cute cartoon discussion, to hornyposts, to social issues, to roleplay, and everything in-between. Im truly an angel fallen to extreme lust. I'll try to tag as best as I can, but noone is perfect. I do not support racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-poly talk, or religious extremists. Try it on me and you'll feel pure enby fox fury.

Asks are always welcome, though sending hate will result in being ignored and I may turn off anon asks for a while. Both sfw and nsfw asks are encouraged, and I'll answer most anything. Please talk to me, I beg you.

If you want to talk with other parts of my system, we are happy to meet you. Two of us have their own blogs, @ashe-is-a-fox and @rae-the-succubus. They dont post as often as I do, but they are active nonetheless. The rest of the system will  talk through any of the 3 accounts, we just are the main ones.

I also share a blog with some of my bestest friends, over at @the-mountain-cabin! We have lots of fun there. If you want any of my other socials, dont be afraid to ask. My DMs are always open to people :3.

Also find me on Mastodon, Bluesky, and Discord .galli.

With that, I think I've said everything I wanted to, so see you around!

.......

also have a nsfw blog @galli-is-fucking-horny... too scared to put it in main post though.. feel free to fuck me there..

Who's ready for a lot of pictures in a slideshow?!

^a post with info on my neurodivergency^

you may visualize me like this, my darlings.. ehe..

here's my pronouns page, if you really want to know me.

ask game in progress.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi there, and thanks for giving me a lifetime of validation and confidence in my neurotype to keep pushing through it all.

I'm a writer. I always have been. I love writing, and it's the only thing I consider myself to be legitimately good at. Linguistics is one of my special interests. I love the flow of a grammatically correct English sentence.

Anyway, I have major executive function issues. Specifically with starting tasks. So I already find it hard to sit down and write. But I find it even harder to continue the progress I make in anything. After enough minimal effort, my brain decides it hates this activity and everything related to it, and inside a single hour I'll go from obsessing over a creative task to being indifferent or repulsed by it. But the *feeling* of knowing I had just been so passionate about it a second ago remains. I end up putting myself into a depressive episode every time I try to be creative in any regard.

I've played D&D with my friend group for years, and I've wanted to run my own campaign for a while. But not only does my inability to start completely destroy my progress in worldbuilding and planning, but I can't organize my thoughts at all. I've tried mindmapping and charting and notebooks and binders. When I'm trying to organize my campaign in any way, I revert into this dramatically incapable person. My brain just instantly fogs and clouds, and I don't know how to visually plot my system and lore that helps me in any actual way. But I *love* worldbuilding with a passion. Even when I don't want to engage in it, I am still absolutely fascinated at creating a world from my own brain. Especially one my friends can play in. Yet in this moment, I can't mentally be bothered to do any of it, and I'm subsequently depressed.

I never saw myself ADHD since I aligned with autism so intensely. I still don't find myself relating to ADHD very often. It's also hard enough for me to accept I'm autistic because I feel like an imposter every other hour. My question for you is, how do I overcome this? How do I overcome myself? How can I enjoy an activity I literally love, and continue to enjoy it? These are loaded questions, and of course you'd have to know me personally to answer this the right way. But I just want to know if there's anything I can do about myself. How do I ignite a flame in myself that doesn't burn out in 10 minutes? Moreover, are there any tools available online that help autistic or ADHD or just neurodivergent people focus, plot, plan, and organize in a very visual way? My latest attempt was to find an AI assistant that I can verbally speak with or text, who would do the plotting for me, and ask the questions for me, and I'd just insert my thoughts and ideas. I can't find what I'm looking for. It all feels so hopeless. I can't even amount to a personal desire. I feel this has to do more with depression than anything else, but I'm new to the neurodivergent community at large, as I've mostly dealt with my struggles on my own accord, and learned through books. Maybe there's a billion tools and strategies I've never heard of before. My mind was blown 80 trillion times since downloading Tumblr regarding my mental health, so it's worth asking a profound community member like yourself.

Sorry for the essay, I'm incapable of shortening my thoughts. If I don't type it all out the way I see it in my head, it'll be an itch I can't scratch for the rest of the day. If you do have any advice or recommendations, I would be so grateful. But I'm grateful for your engagement with the community already. You're just awesome.

Thanks for the empowerment and understanding you give me every time I open this app. You're changing people's lives, and that's real.

Cheers ❤️

Hi there,

This was somewhat hard to digest, but I’ll do my best to help.

I couldn’t find much. But I did find one article that lists some ways that might help with executive dysfunction and writing. This excerpt is going to be long, so I apologize in advance:

Executive dysfunction is a term used to describe weaknesses in the cognitive process that organizes thoughts and activities, prioritizes tasks, manages time efficiently, and makes decisions. It’s common in certain disorders, such as Depression, ADHD, and autism. Executive function skills are used to establish structures and strategies and to determine the actions required to move a project forward. So for those of us who struggle with executive dysfunction, dedicating ourselves to a project could get quite overwhelming. Here are some little tips and tricks I’ve compiled throughout my experience.

How to start:

Task initiation is one of the biggest struggles when dealing with executive dysfunction. This is especially hard with writing, since you need time to muster the energy needed to jump into your story. Here are some tips:

1. Start a 1-3 minute timer and force yourself to write something, anything, before it ends. The words that come out don’t matter. You can just write, “I don’t know.” The point is to force yourself into the writing zone.

2. Leave bread crumbs for yourself at the end of each writing session to make picking up where you left off easier. For example, stop in the middle of a sentence or thought, so the next time you write you won’t have to tackle something completely new.  You just have to finish that incomplete thought and continue from there. You could also leave some notes about what happens next, cutting down thinking time in your next session.

3. Try free writing. This is a great way to get those creative juices flowing with minimal effort. Free writing alleviates the pressure of writing something good. Spend a few minutes writing about anything, like your day or a frustrated ramble about your story. It’s like a warm up before your writing session.

How to keep going:

So you’ve started your writing session. How do you keep writing? Most importantly, how do you keep working on your project?  When struggling with executive dysfunction, the regular “set a schedule” approach doesn’t tend to work.

1. Scale down your goal if your big, overarching goal for your project is overwhelming. Try changing your goal to something more manageable and short term. For example, try writing 500 words a day. This might make it less likely for you to lose steam half way through.

2. Try writing sprints if daily goals aren’t working. Instead of hitting a certain word count, you’re setting a timer and writing for its entire duration

3. Don’t feel bad for needing external motivation. Will promising yourself a pizza after you hit your goal motivate you to write? By all means, do so. Maybe you just need a friend to ask you if you’ve written at the end of the day. Find out what motivates you.

4. Find a writing buddy. This can be someone who can sit down and write at the same time to hold you accountable. Or it can be a critique partner that expects you to turn in something by a certain deadline.

5. Try something new. This is one of the best ways to combat how constraining and overwhelming your writing might feel. It’s okay to lose interest in your project for awhile and try something new. Unless you’re racing to meet a deadline, you have no obligation to keep working on a project that isn’t working for you. Setting a project aside doesn’t mean giving up on it. You might only need some time away from it before you are able to finish it.

Trying something new could also mean changing where or how you write. Usually write at home? Try a coffee shop. Do you usually type? Try hand writing. It might or might not work for you. But change could be quite refreshing for your mind.

6. Write whenever you can. Sometimes the urge to write comes while you’re waiting for lunch to heat up, or right before you go to bed. Motivation can be hard to find with executive dysfunction, and designated writing times don’t always work. Have something on hand you can easily pull out to write with to take advantage of these moments. Jotting down a hundred words as you’re waiting for dinner to cool might not seem like much, but it’s still words contributed to your word count.

Some of these tips might work for you. Some might not. Writing successfully is mostly about finding what works and running with it. These are things I found helpful when I embarked on my first novel and I hope it would at least give you some ideas.

The link to the full article will be below:

If that doesn’t help, I did find this Reddit thread that might have some helpful tips.

Reddit Post

I’m sorry that I couldn’t find anyone else or anything visual. Many sources focused on younger children. So it hard to find resources for older teens and adults.

Maybe some of my followers can give some tips/advice?

If you’d like, we can talk personally so I can try to help. I have an associates degree in English if that means anything. Lol.

Anyway, thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

[asexual-society]

CW: mental health, maybe?

So I'm a little confused if these labels contradict each other... Is it possible to be demisexual but also experience hypersexuality/hyperromantic attraction and a strong sex drive once you feel that emotional connection has been made? I don't make friends that easily, and don't really enjoy the idea of casual hookups/short term relationships/one night stands, but I also tend to fall for people I consider true friends quite quickly. Additionally, I have difficulty determining if my attractions are platonic or romantic and more often than not, whenever I start getting close enough to a new trusted friend I begin to develop a sudden intense, romantic infatuation for them that may or may not involve fantasizing about them in a sensually intimate and sometimes sexual way. Would this be classified as Demisexual Hyperromantic? Some kind of Demi-flux or Grey-flux orientation? Is this just a form of neurodivergence (diagnosed autism/ADHD, seeking possible BPD diagnosis) overlapping with demisexuality? Any insight at all would be appreciated.

Hey anon! Yeah, I think it's totally normal for a demisexual person (or any acepec person!) to have a strong sex drive, regardless of whether or not they're in a relationship or even experiencing sexual or romantic attraction. Being hypersexual has nothing to do with orientation, and while some asexual people can find any amount of libido/sex drive they feel to be distressing, this isn't a universal experience (meanwhile, hypersexuality is typically distressing by definition, and may be linked to your neurodivergence (or may not)). I'd actually never heard of 'hypperromantic' as a descriptor before looking it up just now, you learn something new every day. As far as I can gather it's not a recognised medical term like hypersexuality is, although I won't go into my thoughts on it either as a counterpoint to hypersexuality or its common usage here.

As an autistic person you might form close relationships differently to an allistic person, and how you feel within those relationships might also be different, so two things can be true, just like you might find it hard to differentiate between different forms of attraction because of your neurodivergence, or it might be unrelated. Many autistic people feel like their asexuality or aromanticism is closely tied to their autism and many do not (as someone who may be autistic, I personally feel like my asexuality and aromanticism are closely tied to how other autistic people perceive me as autistic, but I've been IDing as aro and ace way longer than I've even considered being autistic so I don't see them as connected at all. A psychologist may disagree, but it's not up to them what or how you feel).

It's fine to have thoughts of an intimate/romantic/sensual/sexual nature like that about people you're close to, regardless of how you actively and consciously feel about them because brains love to test things out like that. To put it simply, if you find you really want to act on those thoughts then that's a good sign it's attraction you're feeling, but if you don't or you think you would but not so much that you're drawn to do it, then it might not be. I sometimes think about kissing my friends, and there are some of my friends I would kiss, for example, but I wouldn't go out of my way to try it, I'm mostly just touch starved.

For demisexual people there's no rule to say how often you feel the strong bond you need for the possibility for sexual attraction to happen, it might be very rare that you feel a strong bond and even rarer to experience attraction following it, or it might happen a lot. If you feel like your demisexuality fluctuates over time and sometimes you feel more ace or allo and at other times you feel more demi, then you could be demiflux if that's a label that feels helpful to you, but if not, you don't have to use it.

Hope this helps anon!

~ mod key

[kenobihater]

something interesting i've noticed in my toy destruction poll is that people have often reblogged saying they're autistic and experienced object personification and so treated their toys with great respect. my younger brother is autistic, and he dabbled in destruction, but i think he ended up developing more attachment and respect for his toys. that said, to my knowledge he never personified them. i'm not autistic myself but i am neurodivergent, and i find it intriguing that i, while typically kind towards my toys (ESPECIALLY the expensive ones which i did personify to a degree), had moments of absolute maliciousness towards my little plastic guys. not sure if that's due to undiagnosed early onset bipolar disorder, childhood angst, a kid getting bored and experimenting, or some combination of the three. i think the differing childhood play experiences across the neurodivergent community even within the same family, like within mine, are kinda cool.

something else fascinating to me is that so many people have reblogged saying they either only dabbled in toy destruction or refrained from it altogether, but leaned in HARD to the psychological torture of their toys. i ALSO did this a lot, like plotting out infidelity, relationship drama, tragic deaths, and a lot of bullying, cruelty, and conflict all around. i didn't include it in the poll because i thought it was pretty universal. that wasn't just due to my personal play methods - every child i'd ever played with had a great sense of tragedy and a flair for the macabre. after i grew out of playing with toys, i still noticed my friend's younger siblings acting out grisly car crashes and violent duels and housefires and the like. i'd be INCREDIBLY interested if anyone out there was more soft hearted and less prone to extreme dramatics in their play scenarios. i occasionally had my toys like. go to the store or adopt a pet or something equally sweet, but my usual plotlines were a lot more theatrical.

[jazzstarrlight]

My Playable Characters Shipping List

So many characters in genshin impact, so taking screenshots of a wiki character list, I edited them together to make a shipping chart! You're welcome to use it how ever you want

_______________________________________

My Top 10 In Order:

1. Itto x Gorou -

The first Genshin Ship in my collection and still number one. Itto is always the first to fall in my ship and THE definition of golden retriever energy. When Gorou begins to notice his attention on him more often, he gets flustered and slowly falls for him back. Precious wholesome warriors, making a great team and greater lovers.

2. Cyno x Tighnari -

2nd place mostly cause of canon team-up and fanart. Also been debating on which one I'd be good at cosplaying if only I had the money (leaning toward Cyno.) Cyno is the first to fall and even while Tighnari cringes at his jokes, we all know he gives that clear "you're lucky I love you" face. I dream of a relationship like theirs.

3. Kaveh x Alhaitam -

Saw it once or twice on my Twitter feed until it turned into nothing but Kavetham and Cynari, and I eventually began to obsess. Alhaitham surprisingly falls first but can't express it properly, like a neurodivergent with alexithymia. Kaveh slowly shifts his thoughts of Alhaitham from "can't believe I put up with that guy"  to "can't believe I'm in love with that guy". I think the autistic introvert -&- depressed extrovert angle may make for some interestingly dramatic angst. Good angst is fun to write. Plus, I'm on the spectrum and I can confirm that reading emotions (even our own) is either hard or near impossible.

4. Ayaka x Lumine -

The traveler I went with in my game is Lumine and I fell for Ayaka hard when we hung out at a festival before Lumine is made an enemy of the shogunate. Clearly, in the game, Ayaka falls in love first; but I also made an OC named Yuna Ren who fell for Ayaka as a child. I know it's cringe but... It's Ayaka-chan! I can admit I'm a bit of a simp for her.

5. Bennett x Razor -

When I found out they were friends, it was cool, but I saw something more building. Razor falls first, though doesn't understand it. Bennett enjoys having a more permanent team member and grows closer every day. They're super cute little twinks.

6. Ningguang x Beidou -

Two boss girls both dom energy however with good communication it works. Also whenever I feel like I ship too many dudes, I look at hot-I mean-pretty girls with chemistry. (Honestly, I'm surprised with how many mlm ships I have.) Ningquang falls first and... I may have an idea for an erotica oneshot. Stay tuned.

7. Xiao x Aether -

Mainly cause of fanart and if Lumine has Ayaka, the twin bro deserves a lil something special too. Xiao falls first. I mean- c'mon. That guy shows up within a second of calling his name like a genie.

8. Albedo x Sucrose -

Such a sweet and gentle intelligent pair. Sucrose falls for Albedo, and I can see Sucrose being his personal art model. If it was possible, I'd most likely cosplay as albedo (since him and HatGuy are the closest things I find to canon enby's in the game and not much a fan of the wanderer except his skill.)

9. Kazuha x Heizou -

Heizou's voicelines about Kazuha are really intresting. He obviously falls first and makes complex plans to hang out with him. They look very cute together.

10. Zingqui x Chongyun -

Sometimes when 2 characters just stand side-to-side in canon and if you see enough fanart, that's enough to ship two characters. Xingqiu falls first for the exorcist. I also think the combos of blue between the two is pretty nice.

[padawan-crevette]

7, 8, and 14 for the pride asks :)

Hi there! :)

7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?

As far as I'm aware yes, at least I'm the only one who's out and a lot of relatives have made it clear they perceive me as the odd one out, but then again I only know a fraction of my family so I really can't say

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

"Error 404: Not Found"

14. How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

(This one ran long, sorry! And thank you for asking it, it was very fun to answer!)

My parents are ND too, no matter how much they're in denial over it half the time, and I think it showed in the way they raised me with hardly a thought for gender stereotypes until puberty hit and my dad got all overprotective about it. I think they also don't understand gender as well as they think, because what they say doesn't match up with what they do. Especially as far as gender roles go, you can see it's a learned thing and not quite something they understand because it's absolutely not consistent across the board, and that really bled over onto the way they raised me. You can probably imagine how confused I was when other people, particularly at school, started expecting me to conform to certain ideas in regards to my behavior and tastes.

It definitely took a long while for my autistic ass to even get it lmao and I think both of these things play a huge part in the way I understand gender as a concept only in relation to other people and the way they identify and define themselves. Encountering the word "agender" was even more a revelation than "non-binary" was, and honestly such a relief. Same for asexual and aromantic. As much as I am a big language nerd overall and love to read, defining myself in single word labels was a big struggle for a while, and had the same flavor as struggling with finding the right words to express myself and my emotions in my daily life, which is one of the things that first made me relate with posts about autism. Figuring out I'm autistic helped me understand my identity and how I function the same way figuring out my gender identity and orientation did, and it's all something I'd never have bothered to do if I hadn't felt the need to find people I belonged with when many pushed me away or questioned who I was. Hell, I never thought of questioning my orientation until my friends in high school talked about being straight/gay/bi (the only three labels they knew) and asked me my preferences. My immediate response was a confused "I can't just... Idk, like people??" in part because growing up in very tiny countryside villages, I wasn't really exposed to queerness as a concept for a while, and what thoughts I may have had on the subject were filed under "marked for later", and in part because when the question came up I only had some vague thought that maybe gender had nothing to do with liking someone or not.

Same goes for being aspec and poly, my flavor of neurodivergency comes with being somewhat confused about people and feelings and emotions most of the time, and it took a long while for me to have some idea of what I felt and wanted. But getting there came along with meeting some truly lovely folks, and spending hours talking about it together and finding out we had so much in common.

In conclusion, I'd say my neurodivergency absolutely plays a part in the way I perceive and understand things, including every queer label I identify with, but really all of the above is interconnected in a way that feels very much like the chicken and egg question. And my upbringing at least let me grow up in a space where, more often than not (at least when puberty wasn't getting in the way of my parents' behavior towards me), I didn't feel like I had to think about gender, and I believe that helped me be comfortable with that the way I am now, as an adult.

[the-lincyclopedia]

4, 5, 6, 35 (IK it's not mine; that's okay XD), 43, 48, 50? :))

4. Do you write original stories as well?

Yes! I'm hoping to start draft three of the novel I'm working on soon, and I'm waiting to hear back from an anthology where I submitted a short story. Usually fandom gets my energy for short pieces of writing and original stuff gets my long-form energy; the fact that I'm trying to be a novelist is one of the reasons I don't write multi-chapters anymore.

5. What fanfic of yours should everyone have read?

This question makes it sound like I expect people to already be familiar with my work, which feels kind of arrogant to me. Assuming it's asking what fic I'd like everyone to read . . . see, I still want to let people pick and choose (and avoid stuff they're not going to enjoy or that they might find triggering)!

That said, I think I'm going to rec "To Every Single Kid I Used to Be" here. It has a much higher ratio of comments to hits than most of my other stuff, meaning that fewer people have read it than have read a lot of my other fics, but a lot of the people who read it wanted to let me know how much they liked it. It's a Jack Zimmermann character study, and I highly recommend bringing tissues given that most of the commenters say they cried (but also felt happy/hopeful at the end).

6. What is a fandom you will never write for?

Uh . . . it's hard to know where my obsessions will take me next, and I've definitely eaten my words before when it comes to thinking I wouldn't get into something. I guess I'm pretty confident I won't get into Hannibal? A friend from another fandom got really into Hannibal and never tagged their posts, and eventually I had to unfollow because some of that stuff really turned my stomach.

35. What is your favorite review?

Honestly, your comment was very very sweet! "I'm not even in this fandom" comments are very special and I definitely don't get them often!

That said, probably the most gobsmacked I've ever been by a fic comment was when I got this one (on "To Every Single Kid I Used to Be," actually):

I reread (and finished) the comic after I put it down 5 years ago and I didn't really mean to end up on ao3 but I had to see what kind of things people were writing about Jack being autistic (I refused to believe people just wearnt writing autistic jack of course) and shit. Not only is this an incredibly creative way to tell a story. It's a very fitting way to tell Jacks story specifically. This was absolutly wonderful. I had to take a break in the middle bc of how emotional I was, I still ended up crying. Thank you so much for this. I genuinely don't know if I'll read another OMGCP fic I've read two after this reread (yours being one of them) and they've just been so perfect I don't know that I need to read anything else. This was absolute brilliance. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Like, I genuinely don't know how to be worthy of this.

(Runner up to this comment on "Face the Future with You":

I havent even actually started reading this fic yet but i thought you might enjoy the fact that i'm BIG dumb and thought the name of this series was "Neurodivergent Zombies" and i was looking at the tags like 'it doesn't mention that this is a zombie apocalypse au'

Very excited to read this Zombie-Free fic tho

Just. The pure hilarity.)

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

When I got this one earlier I said insecurity, but now I'm thinking about tropes, and honestly? If you do it well, you can definitely throw the kitchen sink at me: fake dating, only one bed, amnesia, whatever your heart desires. I adore fic tropes (though I read them MUCH more than I write them).

48. What is your favorite sentence that you’ve used in a fanfic?

Oh wow! I have over 400k on AO3, so that's a big question. The first thing that comes to mind is "Caroline’s laugh tinkles like glass breaking, musical and jagged and dangerous," which is from "The Difference an Evening Can Make," one of my Lizzie Bennet Diairies fics. I want to think there are better sentences in some of my other stuff, but honestly I feel like I'm better at the story level than at the sentence level.

50. Can we get a teaser for an upcoming chapter?

I'm not really working on anything at the moment. The only thing in my Google Drive that I think has a particularly high chance of getting finished is the sequel to my summer camp AU, and I haven't touched it in a while, so who knows. Anyway, here's a snippet:

They reach the lake and walk out onto the dock. As they lay down next to each other, Jacques says, “Can I ask why you wanted to get out, or is that too personal?” 

Bitty tries to shrug. It doesn’t work very well given that gravity is pressing his shoulders into the wooden slats of the dock. “It’s okay. I’m gay, and I’m not out to my parents. Honestly, I don’t think the camp I’ve worked at would ever have hired me if they’d known. I could handle it when I was in high school--I’d never come out to anyone--but now I’ve moved out and come out to my college friends, and I just didn’t want to go back into the closet for a whole summer.” 

“Yeah. I get that,” Jacques says. “The closet is even less fun to return to than it is to live in the first time.” 

“Oh!” says Bitty. “Are you--I mean, sorry; I shouldn’t ask--” 

Jacques chuckles. “I’m bi. I’m, uh. Honestly I’m more public about it here, with the other staff, than I am at school. My parents have known since I was 17, but . . . well, let’s just say that it’s not exactly rare for American guys who voluntarily learn French to be some variety of queer. Actually, sometimes when I’m here I have to explain that I’m not gay. Which is very much not what it’s like at school.” 

“Where do you go to school?”

“UW-Madison,” Jacques says. “It’s . . . I mean, it would probably be fine if I weren’t on the hockey team. I mean--shit. That sounded terrible. I like that I’m on the hockey team. I like playing hockey. I just. My teammates, sometimes, I guess . . .”

“I get it,” Bitty says. “I play hockey, too.” 

“Really?” Jacques sounds surprised. “But you’re . . .”

“Tiny, I know,” Bitty cuts in, chuckling. “And fast as hell, thank you very much. With very soft hands.” 

Get in on the ask game!

[moonflowerreed]

imagining closeness + the struggle to connect

growing up, I was very shielded from the outside world. my mom did this for very good reasons, she did what any other mother would do if they found out about the abuse my father put me through. every time I wanted to spend time with a friend they and their parents would have to undergo her background check. I'm very lucky, because of how much she cared about me.

I would always have one or two friends. Typical experience of a neurodivergent kid generally. Eventually, in middle school, I started to see that even those few friends would always be closer to each other than I was to them. I would peek into their worlds and learn about how many secrets they shared, how often they texted, so on.

I still experience this. I consistently live wondering if I am only imagining closeness.

Recently I realized I was doing just that. An acquaintance told me about how someone who I had truly opened my heart to spoke about me. I had been excited about this friend because I felt like we were close, like we could share intense and emotional experiences with one another. Turns out, it seems she never really cared much for me at all. At least, not in a sincere way, since I would never have talked poorly of her the way she had of me.

I spent today crying at random intervals. I kept thinking about how I always initiate spending time with other people, how I always initiate our texts and barely even know how to text at all, how I seem to always be the one loving so, so hard. And still, I don't feel close to anyone outside of me. I'm so afraid for when the time my mother passes away will come. She is my only anchor in this world, she is the only person I can run to and trust I can fall back into her arms without falling flat on my back.

I feel as though I am constantly misinterpreting people. I am seeing love where I should be seeing that I am disliked.

I constantly become the subject of gossip among friends. I am always the one people discuss and criticize. Even when I am the one who has been wronged in a situation, no one ever seems to come to my defense.

I wonder if I am even remotely capable of being loved. I wonder if I will ever find true friendship. If I will ever be the favorite, closest friend. Or I wonder if I will continue to live a shell of a life, filled with nothing but endless scrolling and internal dialogues between myself and people I love who do not love me.

I just don't know how to read who loves me. I don't know how to read who is and isn't my friend, even with other autistic people. I feel so alone. I don't know how to connect. I'm afraid I never will connect to anyone else.

I think that the fact I am autistic is beautiful. It makes me think and act in ways that I am proud of. I remember when I read an essay by Simone Weil on solitude, I immediately recognized that she was autistic, and also was stricken with heartbreak when I realized that her philosophies on friendship and the ability to connect were indefinitely influenced by that. Seeing myself in Simone Weil via reading descriptions of her as being stubborn, outspoken, and so authentic that she eventually earned people around her's respect was something beautiful to me. It made me feel understood. But it's also another kind of pain to see someone you admired and relate to struggle with the same things you do.

I don't know how to end this. I just wanted to express this feeling somewhere.

[magnuficentwo]

4, 8, 9, 12, 13 :3

Hellooooo :3 [ask game in question !]

4- Do you know any disabled people irl ? What about online ?

I know at least like 2 or so people in my school who are physically disabled, and most of my friend group is some flavour of neurodivergent anyway. I don't have a lot of chances to get out there on my own accounts as it currently is unfortunately so my sample group is very small </3. As for online, yeah there's definetly a lot more there ! Shoutout to all my disabled homies I love u

8- Does your disability affect how you experience other parts of your identity ?

Boy does it ever (/silly). Pretty much all aspects of my life are affected by my neurodivergence (Mainly autism/OCD) and chronic fatigue, but I think the part that this shows through the most is with my culture. For a long time, I thought I was embarrassed of my culture and how I interacted with it in my day to day life, but as it turns out, it was never really my heritage's fault. I am straight up just Built Different and can't interact with it the intended way (+ americanization is a very real thing kids).

For an example, Brazil is LOUD. It is VERY loud. Music, politics, even just regular conversations about whatever, people are loud just as a default. This makes things hard to navigate for me, someone who has audio processing issues. I have to account for every little sound that people make whenever I go out because I genuinely will start getting so overwhelmed I will get physically ill. And this is just like, another part of my life you know ? I find I do better whenever I have a distraction like headphones or my phone, so I'll always have those in clutch with me.

Queerness is another thing i feel like messes me up. Being autistic generally means I have a pretty nebulous idea of what everything is, and my queer experience is just another one of those things. But ultimately, knowing I have full control over what happens to my identity and labels and everything is just super comforting, as someone who isn't very used to being in control of things yk ? I define what each of these things mean to me and that makes it way way easier :]

9- How do you measure your energy ?

I like the battery the most !!! One because it makes me feel like a cool robot, and two because it feels more concrete. Its like put that beast on a number scale

12- What's something people don't realize about your disability ?

I gotta be honest here, it's very much how much people will underestimate how the disability affects my behavior.

I'm pretty open about being autistic, and I do try my best to explain to people about the Chronic Fatigue stuff, but they'll just like. Most of the time ignore the fact I've told them about it ? And just treat me the Exact Same as everyone else. Don't get me wrong ! I don't want to be different ! I'm a person just like you ! But you guys *do need* to acknowlege I have very severe differences to you that will seem odd if you have no context for them. People have called me "mean" and "too literal" for not understanding cues before. People have called me lazy and entitled for not being able to participate in certain activities like everyone else before. And it's just another one of those things ! It's kind of a cycle in a way, where I have to explain myself for behaviors everyone is very aware I do, but never want to remember why.

I didn't mean to get venty lol. Anyway be nice to disabled people about issues that are VERY LITERALLY outside their control challenge

13 - What's the most Able Person Thing someone has ever said to you ?

Luckily, I mask well enough so that people don't usually bug me about my shit, but I've heard people say some genuinely baffling stuff before. My mom's side of the family especially.

My uncle has an autistic kid. She's nonverbal, often walking on her tiptoes, pale as they come– Poster child of "visible autism" pretty much. And he Does Not like that at ALL. He'll often complain about her behaviors and how she repeatedly does things after he tells her not to, plus some other ableist bullshit. Well, one beautiful day, I am playing with her while everyone's talking and eating. He looks over at us, and says something along the lines of "Wow [Mael], you and [Kids Name] really get along ! I'd almost think YOU were autistic by how well you can play with her !" And I just........stared for a second. Like yeah, you're not wrong, but GENUINELY what does that mean !!!!!!!!!!

[datcammi]

About Me 2022

Hello Traveler, and welcome to my little slice of the internet. My name is Cammi, I’m a nearly 30 demigirl (AFAB; she/her or they/them). Honestly this blog is for my benefit as a place where I can work through my thoughts, as it’s easier for me to process things if I feel like I’m talking to someone. That said, this is my space and I will work in it in the ways that are most beneficial to me.

I'll update this as I think of relevant things, or things change.

Starting with some key things about myself

I'm an 'elder' emo with strong yallternative leanings. I've been identifying as emo since the early 2000s. I've been identifying as goth since the 2010s.

I'm a pagan witch and my practice is solitary. While I can appreciate the benefits of a coven, it's not for me. The things I work with are often considered taboo, dangerous, 'dark'. I am not love and light. I do not follow the Wiccan Rede. I do not believe in the so-called '3 Fold Rule'. My practice is eclectic but is based in personal experience and ancestral work. The individuals I work with and honor are minimally documented if not undocumented.

I am mentally ill/unwell and neurodivergent. I've struggled with ADHD-C my entire life and was part of a case study for what it looks like in girls in the late 90s. I was then diagnosed with BPD at 19, received a C-PTSD, OCD, and MDD diagnosis in my mid-20s, and at nearly 30 have additionally received a GAD diagnosis. Recently learned that I'm probably autistic, so tests for that will be coming soon.

I cannot remember the majority of my life before age 14 sans a small handful of things. I've recently begun remembering more through intense shadow work and different types of therapy, including hypnotherapy.

I do believe there can be benefits to medication and have been trying to find the right ones for me for the last couple years. Unfortunately I have been unmedicated since October 2022 due to negligence by my previous doctor who decided to abruptly stop filling my medication. Checked myself into an in-patient Behavioral Health Center (BHC) for nearly a week in early to mid December 2022. I got a new cocktail of meds, so we'll see how this goes.

I partake in psychedelics and identify as both a pothead and a psychonaut. I strongly believe there are great benefits to the proper use of both.

I'm a psychology student with a focus on the use of 'alternative' forms of therapy and medication, such as psychedelics, and their use in long-term growth and healing.

I'm an extrovert and love being around other people, unfortunately the feeling is rarely mutual and as a result I have spent a long time alone. I have no friends from childhood or highschool, and my online group has long since abandoned me after I chose to leave my abusive ex-husband. Now, I am overly independent, cynical, and untrusting of other's intentions. I refuse to be the only one putting in all the work again.

I pretty much constantly have music playing. I had 40,000 minutes of listening time just on Spotify in 2022. I listen to all genres and a multitude of artists.

I don't believe sex and romance are mutually exclusive. I am of the belief that the parameters of one's relationship(s) are defined by the individuals directly involved, and no one else. For some non-monogamy is what is healthy and happy for them, and for others monogamy is their thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with either, as long as the individuals are happy. I, personally, practice non-monogamy.

I love, love, love to read, write, and worldbuild. It keeps me sane, honestly, and I believe every work of fiction has a grain of truth to it.

I'm obsessed with my hair, it's like the one thing about myself that I am genuinely proud of. I do intense research on all products I use on it and do strip testing before using it on my whole head. "It'll grow back" is genuinely something I HATE hearing and makes me incredibly, intensely angry.

I do not tolerate liars, ever. Just be honest, it's not hard. If you can't be honest with someone then you don't respect them or care about them. Also, lying by omission is still lying.

I make lots of vague references to little things I've come across that give me the happy chemical.

[nori-kakyoin]

Can I ask for your reasoning for headcanoning Kakyoin and Josuke as autistic? I’m really curious :3

ty for asking!!

(i'm gonna explain how these traits are autism traits just in case some people reading are not familiar with autism so sorry if this a little long or it looks like i'm over explaining.)

for kakyoin, i believe his whole backstory is basically every undiagnosed autistics childhood (i know its about stands but still). a lot of autistic kids grow up knowing they are different than other kids and its hard for us to make friends because we can't relate to other kids our age. we prefer to be by ourselves.

i also think that his very polite attitude comes from masking. again, a lot of autistic people learn the "rules" of society when they are growing up so they can try to fit in. as seen in the picture above, his teacher says "he seems rather reserved; too reserved in fact" which happens to so many autistics (and neurodivergents in general). personally, my parents have been told this several times when i was growing up. another part of his extreme politeness is that when he gets comfortable around people he starts to let down the politeness and "unmask". an example of this is when he refused to attack the canteen when polnareff asked him during the n'doul fight. most autistics unmask around people they are comfortable around.

he is very loyal to the crusaders and would do anything including (SPOILERS) dying for them. (SPOILERS OVER) they were the first people he considered his friends. when i have a friend (which is not often lol) i am very loyal to them and would do anything for them as well due to not having a lot. other autistics i've talked to are the same.

he knows a lot of trivial things, mainly world cultures, showed when he told jotaro the tea etiquette in hong kong etc. a lot of autistic people gather facts of things they find interesting (sometimes called a special interest). its possible he has a spinterest in world cultures or just likes learning random facts.

i also think he had a spinterest of video games, we can see his talent and skill in the second d'arby fight. a lot of people can have a strong liking of video games, but kakyoin had literally memorized the entire map.

he also has a thing with cherries, idk how to explain it but thats just autistic af to me

thats basically all i can think of rn for kakyoins autistic traits. i'll make an edit if i think of more.

for josuke thats more of just a fun hc, one of my fave hcs is that all the jojos are autistic so of course he is included. i feel like he is more of an adhder.

i think his hair obsession could be considered an autistic thing. a lot of autistic people are very particular about things, when they like something they LIKE it.

that's basically it!! sorry it took so long, i wanted to be thorough. if you/anyone else is curious about my other hcs just send an ask :)

[all-that-tmnt-jazz]

Hi, I was wondering if I possibly get a match up. (If you are unable to or just not taking matchups at the moment that is completely fine. I love reading you posts btw❤)

I'm an 18 years old Irish girl that is openly bisexual and autistic. I'm roughly between 5ft4 and 5ft5 (not quite sure). I have short brown hair that has a blonde streak in the front and my eyes are hazel. I'm a complete animal lover, having 3 dogs and a tortoise that I named after a Transformers character. I love to draw and create ocs for whatever fandom I've become obsessed with at the time, and I have ambitions to become an animator once I reach college. I have what I can only describe as a dumb and slightly childish sense of humor and what I mean by that is I spent a solid five minutes crying with laughter at the word nipplewort (its a type of plant). I have a tendency to switch between not shutting up or just not talking (really depends on my mood or the topic of conversation). I can't to math to save my life but I am decent at english.

My family can be only described a chaotic as all my siblings and I are neurodivergent in one way or another (there's 4 of us) and my dad is on the autism spectrum as well. I do unfortunately suffer from anxiety though it has been getting slightly better (its been a slow process but I'm getting there).

Please excuse any grammar mistakes, I'm typing this on my phone.

Of course you can have a match up, friend! My inbox is always open, and match-ups are never denied around here. Don’t you worry about it :)

Warnings: None.

Incarnation: Bayverse

Extra Info: I could see you being friends with Leo

I match you with…

Donnie!

He loves accents from the British Isles, especially Irish accents

As for forehead kisses, expect a lot of them- he’s so much taller than you, it’s often easier to just kiss your forehead and/or the top of your head

He loves your eyes- especially since they’re hazel like his (even if they’re not the same shade)

He’s a fan of Transformers, too, and since he is a turtle, your Transformer-named tortoise will become his adoptive child

He loves your hair- he always compliments the blonde streak

He likes looking at your drawings if you let him- he always notes and compliments every small detail, because he appreciates and understands the time and effort put into creations

He understands the dumb/childish humor- his sense of humor is just as immature

(He would also cry laughing at nipplewort)

When you’re quiet, he asks how you want him to continue with the situation

If you want him to talk, he can easily start talking about his newest gadget

But if you want him silent? You got it- he finds silence just as easy as a conversation

He totally gets being one of four neuro-divergent children, especially since he is not neuro-typical

(I see him as having OCD or ADD- possibly both. I haven’t added it to the list yet, but check out some headcanons here if you want)

He likes asking you about your OC’s. He gets to look through a window into who you portray yourself as

Also, it’ gets you talking a mile a minute, which he loves

He will always support your struggles with anxiety, especially since he knows what it can do to one’s mind

[mamabearwonders]

I hate the concept of ADHD. Plenty of folks who are neurodivergent I know see the same light in me. Ever since I was a child, I know the way I think is not the way the majority wants me to.

My friend's protected me from the ableist system. I found healing and comfort among my communities. I will never be called defective by a doctor or anyone I know. Back in the 1950s, we called kids idiots and morons by medical definition, but it wasn't ethical.

I think so many people think they see popular psychology out there that promotes autism as a disease or ADHD as a deficit and not a trait that they think that's the only psychology out there.

The psychology I follow is compassionate and doesn't reduce people down to functioning labels which I thought we got rid of in the 1950s. It doesn't reduce people down to negative stereotypes and boxes and checklists and symptoms.

It treats people like human beings and individuals. So often we're taught to rely on doctors and that we can't find help among friends. The psychiatric system has always been harmful to people I know. I'm all for healing, but people act like you can't heal on your own or to a point of healing that you're comfortable with.

I know my brain is not as productive as society wants me to be. But I'm happy with myself. I don't want to change myself. I don't want medication personally, I support people that do, but it should be a person's choice.

People should take medication if they want to better their quality of life not because they feel like they can't catch up to what society demands.

And it breaks my heart that people from my own community sometimes will side with the doctors and call people in their own circles demeaning names and labels that in 10 years all of a sudden psychiatrists are going to be like those were not okay to use.

The science I follow has been backed up by ethical scientists. Not all science is ethical. If you look into studies of who created certain therapies for kids who are autistic or neurodivergent look at the type of science they followed. Look at the schools of thought they followed and I tell you it is truly disturbing. That sometimes the people they follow wanted my circles erased off the face of this planet for every generation after.

I believe we deserve more than each other. I believe we deserve therapies and medication if it's our choice, but have it be in the way we want not the way society or other people want us to be. There's nothing wrong with how I think or who I am just because people don't understand it. You don't have to understand me I'm not a science project I'm a human being so either treat me like one or leave me be. ⭐

[whelvenwings]

So I just saw that post on laziness that you reblogged and I was wondering what your thoughts are on laziness vs procrastination? Because I'm going through a particularly bad round of procrastination, but I don't feel like it's borne out of laziness (which to me, is more of "I don't feel like doing this immediately but I will do it soon"). Whereas procrastination is constantly postponing something but never being able to convince my brain to actually do the task (also any tips on tackling this?)

Hello anon!! Yes hello good hi. first of all, ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve been having a hard time with procrastination lately. it’s rough and I hope it eases up for you.

hmmmm yes, so, laziness and procrastination. WELL. hmm. OKAY. these thoughts might be a bit all over the place, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I ramble on a bit. or a lot. probably a lot! I have a lot of thoughts about it all.

so I think I’d start off by saying that I kind of don’t believe in laziness. 

it’s like... for me, laziness is... chronically choosing not to do something that you know you should do, even though that thing is entirely doable for you. that is to say, you have the time for a task, the skills for it, and the ability to motivate yourself to do it - but you regularly choose not to do it.

the key element here is choice. for me, laziness implies not just that a task isn’t done - it implies you could’ve done it, and then you chose not to. but to be able to choose not to do something, that thing has to be completely possible in the first place, right? we wouldn’t say we choose not to fly, we say that we can’t do it, it’s not possible for us. every day that I walk around instead of flying, I’m not being lazy, I’m just not doing something that’s outside my capability. very often (I’d argue always) when we regularly don’t do something, it’s because we cannot do it. it’s not a choice not to do it, because there’s something going on that makes the task impossible in our status quo. I think our ideas about what we can and can’t do, and how serious a barrier it is to not be able to motivate ourselves, are often really skewed by comparison with others. if I lived in a world populated only by birds, maybe I’d think I was procrastinating on flying.

the thing that briefly breaks me out of a procrastination loop is usually panic at the promise of Bad Consequences, i.e. my brain is finally convinced of the importance of the task, but this is a quick one-off fix that doesn’t help the chronic issue, so next time I have to do the same task I’ll follow the same pattern of putting it off until Total Panic Time. and at a certain point, even the Bad Consequences just aren’t enough motivation, and I simply can’t do the task. often I am in distress at not being able to do the task. just as often, the distress is a contributing factor in the task not getting done for longer.

the issue that makes the task not doable for me tends to vary a lot depending on the situation. and I think a lot of people have it the same way, where different issues crop up with different tasks.

- so like sometimes it’s a Success Elsewhere issue. you just can’t believe you can actually decently do the thing you have to do, so you go work at something else that you think you can succeed at. “lazy” to me implies a lack of effort, right? and yet with this one, the things that you do instead of homework or chores or whatever, they often take plenty of effort. like you’re kicking ass at video games, pouring hours into it, because the game makes you feel like you really could be the best!! it’s worth the effort because you get rewards! you’re working, just not at the thing you Should be doing, because you can’t believe working on that thing will lead to any reward/success.

- sometimes it’s a Why Does It Matter issue. sometimes you just aren’t convinced enough that the reward of doing a task is worth the work it’ll take, because you can clearly see that the world is in crisis and it’s exceptionally hard to believe that, say, homework matters when everything feels like it’s on fire.

- sometimes it’s a Fuck You Anyway issue. a lot of people feel alienated by the society we live in, the same society that says hey, you have to do homework, you have to succeed at university, you have to get these grades, you have to be polite, you can’t get angry, you have to respond to emails, you have to do this specific kind of job to make good money or else you won’t have enough. when an authority you don’t trust/a system that is clearly broken tries to shove you into doing something, sometimes you don’t want to bloody do it, you know? sometimes you don’t want to do the small tasks that build up into following a path you don’t believe in.

- sometimes it’s a The World Has Swept Me This Far, What, Are You Saying I Have to Do Things for Myself Now issue. between parents and teachers and societal expectations, a person can go surprisingly far in this world just kind of keeping to the course that other people decide for them. but the map always has edges, right? eventually people stop having a plan for you and you’re quite suddenly expected to know exactly what to do with yourself, and just become a success with the opportunities you’ve been given, but you have no clue whatsoever how to do that. doing nothing in this instance isn’t laziness, it’s not that you want to sit and stagnate - it’s just that you’re doing exactly what you’ve always done: what you’re being guided to do. the only difference is that now you’re not being guided to do anything, so you don’t do anything. you have no idea how to flex the muscles of personal choice; you don’t even know if you have them.

- sometimes it’s a Distraction issue. again, for a huge amount of people, the world is pretty garbage right now. and sometimes you’re clinging on via the happy hormone hit you get when you do something fun, so doing something hard/boring feels like it would push you too far. or sometimes the hard/boring task doesn’t absorb enough of your attention, leaving way too much space for your brain to talk to itself and spiral out of control with bad thoughts and feelings, which it won’t do if you’re watching videos or scrolling on your phone or hanging out with friends etc. given how tailored our brain hormones naturally are to finding the shortest path to happiness, and how relatively easy it is in our culture to find short-term happiness via the internet, I don’t find it surprising that a lot of people just literally cannot engage with doing difficult, boring tasks when there’s a small burst of happiness just one tap away. 

- sometimes it’s an Energy issue. bad mental health is a motivation killer. battling depression or anxiety or another mental health issue just leeches away your reserves for other things. you don’t have the spoons for doing a task, but people with more spoons will look at you not doing it and call you lazy - because for them, the task is doable, and they don’t get that for you it is not.

UGH MAN there’s so much more to it than just these separate scenarios, they all interweave and there are loads more of them, and I want to talk about how being neurodivergent affects these things and how being queer affects it too imo, but I feel like I could go on and on forever so I’ll leave it at that. my point is, I think both procrastination and so-called laziness start when for some reason, a task isn’t doable for you. so the key is figuring out why the task isn’t doable, and changing something, and then hopefully being able to chug away at it!

some things that have helped me are:

- getting little bits of help - when my mum and I hang out, she’ll sometimes just sit and chat to me while I clean around her because it’s doable for me while she’s there. collaboration can ease a lot of procrastination woes for me.

- instead of telling myself “I have to do this”, I tell myself “I deserve to have this done”. so like, instead of “I have to clean the bathroom”, it’s “I deserve to live in a clean house”. instead of “I have to do this essay for homework”, it should have been “I deserve to be able to show the skills I have, and get help from my teachers in the places where I have holes in my understanding”. it’s just like, less focus on the dumb task and more focus on the goal that I’ll achieve by doing the task, with a healthy dose of self-validation on the side.

- if the problem’s really chronic and affecting your life in a pretty major way, maybe it’s time to look into whether there’s an underlying issue with the way your brain focuses? I’m autistic, and I have friends with ADHD, and the way our brains focus/don’t focus on things can be hard to manage at times - but understanding what’s going on inside the old brainspace and reading about how other people handle the same things can be a really good way to start breaking the cycle of procrastination.