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#I'm not being too kind to myself honestly
thinkinginpen · 1 day
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Just A Guy With Claws And A Bad Attitude
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a/n: Second fic in the same 24 hours? I honestly impress myself. pairing: logan x reader w/c: 4.4k warnings: age gap, smut, p in v, loss of virginity, love, kissing, romance, dirty talk, etc. summary: You and Logan are on a mission in France and decide to take a break at the hotel, eating pizza, and watching a movie when things get out of hand
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You and Logan were in France, on a mission that demanded much of you. A grumpy old mutant, Logan was perpetually cranky, but you had your jobs. The two of you were to keep watch for a looming invasion, the kind to threaten mutants. Your duty: Sound the alarm.
The air felt oppressive as you two worked silently, the impending danger a constant, lurking presence. Every so often, you'd steal a glance at Logan, his grumpy face fixed in a perpetual scowl as he scanned the surroundings.
The silence was eventually broken as Logan's voice cut through the air, gruff and tinged with sarcasm. "At this rate, we'll die of boredom before the invasion even gets here," he grumbled.
You gave a small, sympathetic smile at Logan's comment, understanding his frustration but maintaining a gentle attitude.
"Patience, Logan," you replied, your voice soft and kind. "We're doing our best to keep an eye out. I'm sure we'll spot them in no time."
Logan's scowl softened a bit at your response. He grunted in acknowledgement, but the usual edge was missing from his voice when he spoke again.
"Easy for you to say," he murmured gruffly. "You're not the one stuck here without any booze to pass the time."
You chuckled lightly at Logan's remark, amused by his ever-present desire for alcohol. "A little boredom won't kill you, Logan," you said, still speaking gently. "How about we just enjoy the peace and quiet while we can?"
Logan grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "easy for you to say" again, but he didn't argue further. The two of you continued your watch in companionable silence, the tension in the air slightly alleviated by your calming presence.
"I meant back at the hotel silly! We could do our own thing, maybe order some food and watch a movie?"
Logan blinked at your suggestion, a look of surprise crossing his gruff features. The idea of a change of pace clearly intrigued him, but he tried to cover it up with his usual grouchiness.
"Food and a movie, huh? Sounds like you're trying to spoil me," he mumbled, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You couldn't help but smile at his response, seeing past his gruff exterior to the man beneath. "Just trying to keep things interesting," you replied, your tone still soft and kind. "Think of it as a little break before the invasion starts. Besides, you need a proper meal in you anyway."
Logan grumbled again, but it was more for show at this point. He knew you had a point regarding the food - even his enhanced healing factor couldn't run on an empty stomach. Plus, the idea of a break was growing on him.
"Alright, fine," he relented, feigning grumpiness. "But I get to pick the movie."
"I don't mind at all," you responded, a faint smile on your lips.
Together, you and Logan finished up your watch and made your way back to the hotel. Once back in the safety of the hotel room, Logan immediately went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. He took a long swig before turning to you.
"How're you likin' being an X-Man?" He asked as he scrolled through movies.
You chuckled and took a seat on the bed, looking at Logan with a warm smile. "It's been quite the adventure," you responded. "I don't regret it one bit. Helping people is all that matters to me."
Logan hummed, selecting a movie from the list. "That's the difference between you and me, kid," he muttered, his tone more thoughtful than grumpy now. "You've still got that fire, that desire to do good. I've seen too much crap to be that idealistic."
"What's for dinner?" He asks, setting the remote down as he sits in a chair nearby the bed. Meanwhile you were sitting on the fresh white sheets.
"We can order something from room service," you suggested, reaching for the menu on the bedside table. "They've got a decent selection - pizza, burgers, pasta…"
"Pizza sounds good," Logan replied, taking another swig from his beer as he watches you flip through the menu. "Extra-large, load it up with toppings."
"And make sure they throw in some of those garlic knots," he adds with a slight smirk. "Order me a drink too, would ya?"
You chuckled softly and nodded. "Extra-large, fully loaded pizza and garlic knots coming right up. And I'll get you another beer, just for good measure," you said, pulling out your phone to order the food.
Once the order was placed, you set your phone aside and settled back against the pillows, looking at Logan who was still in his chair beside the bed. The room was quiet for a moment, the only sound the soft hum of the air conditioning.
"You know, Logan," you said softly. "You may not be idealistic anymore, but you still care about doing the right thing. You just have a different way of showing it."
Logan huffed, his usual grumpy expression covering his face again, but you could see the hint of a vulnerable look in his eyes.
"Don't go gettin' all philosophical on me," he grumbled, but his voice lacked the usual bite. "I just do what I do, that's all. It ain't that deep."
You smiled softly and shook your head. "It may not seem like it to you, but a lot of us look up to you, you know? Your experience, your strength, the way you never back down from a fight… It's impressive," you said sincerely.
Logan looked at you for a long moment, his usual grumpy expression faltering slightly under the sincere compliment.
"Don't go putting me on some kind of pedestal," he grumbled, his voice gruff. "I'm just a guy with claws and a bad attitude."
A few minutes later, there is a knock on the hotel room door. Logan gets up to open it and you can already smell the scent of pizza and garlic knots wafting in from outside.
"Damn, that was quick," Logan mutters as he grabs the food from the delivery guy and closes the door again, making his way back inside with the goods.
"They definitely didn't skimp on the toppings," you note as Logan sets the boxes of pizza on the table. The pizza is piled high with all kinds of delicious ingredients, and the garlic knots look mouth-wateringly good.
"Looks like they even threw in some extra garlic sauce," Logan says, eyeing the knots hungrily. "Let's dig in."
You get up from the bed and step over to where Logan is sitting. You grab a plate and begin carefully placing slices of pizza onto it, the cheese stretching like melted strings.
As you finish, you smile softly and walk over to Logan, presenting the plate to him with a cold beer by it's side. "Here you go," you say softly. "All loaded up just the way you like."
Logan looks up at you, a flicker of surprise crossing his features. He wasn't used to being treated like this, and it made him uncomfortable in a way that was new to him.
"Thanks," he gruffly mutters, taking the plate and the drink from you. He tries to cover up the vulnerability with a gruff demeanor as he takes a bite of the pizza, the flavors instantly hitting his tongue.
You step back and grab a slice for yourself, taking a seat on the edge of the bed as you begin to eat. The pizza is hot and cheesy, the toppings blending together nicely, and the garlic knots are as delicious as they looked.
The room is silent for a moment, filled only with the sounds of you two eating. But it's a comfortable silence, the tension lessened by the distraction of good food.
Once the initial hunger is satisfied, Logan sets his plate aside and grabs the remote, switching on the television. He starts scrolling through movies, looking for one they can watch together.
"I suppose you want something lighthearted, right?" He asks, raising a brow as he continues searching through the selections. "Can't stomach any violence or something?"
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. "I can handle a little violence, Logan," you assure him. "Just nothing too depressing, alright?"
"Fair enough," Logan mutters, still scrolling through the options. He seems to find one that meets the criteria and stops scrolling.
"How about this one?" He asks, showing you the screen. It's an older comedy movie, something light and fun.
You nod in approval, recognizing the movie as a classic. "That one works for me," you say with a smile.
Logan nods and clicks on the movie, starting it up. He sits back in his chair as the opening scene begins to play, his body relaxing slightly as he sipped his beer.
You get comfortable on the bed, your back propped up against the headboard as you watch the movie. The comedy helps lighten the mood in the room, occasionally drawing soft laughs from you and even a few gruff chuckles from Logan.
During a quieter moment in the movie, Logan reaches for his beer and takes a long swig. He glances over at you and notices you're watching him with slight envy.
He smirks, his voice gruff as he speaks. "Don't even think about it, kid. You're not 21 yet."
You pout slightly, realizing you've been caught. "Oh, come on, Logan," you protest. "Just one sip. I'm not gonna get drunk or anything, I promise."
Logan's gruff chuckle fills the room as he shakes his head. "Nice try, kid, but the answer's still no. I'm not gonna be the one who gets you drunk underage." He takes another swig of beer, a smirk still on his face as he continues watching the movie.
You cross your arms and pout slightly, clearly unsatisfied with Logan's answer. "I may not be 21, but I'm an adult," you argue. "I'm allowed to make my own decisions, even if I'm not old enough to drink legally yet."
Logan rolls his eyes and takes another sip from his beer. "You're old enough to be an X-Man, not a barfly. Trust me, you'll be better off waiting a few more years before you start drinking."
Logan glances at you out of the corner of his eye, his smirk growing. "Oh, you're an adult now, huh?" He teases, his gruff voice tinged with amusement. "Just because you can make your own decisions doesn't mean they're all smart decisions, kid."
You huff, still not happy about being denied alcohol. "I'm old enough to fight in wars and risk my life for the world, but I can't have a little sip of beer?" You complain.
"Hey, I don't make the laws, kid," Logan replies with a shrug. He takes another swig of his beer, knowing full well how much it is irritating you.
As the movie continues to play in the background, you continue to pester Logan about the alcohol. But with each sip he takes, he becomes more relaxed and more willing to give in to your persistence.
Finally, he looks over at you with a grin, his eyes a little hazy from the alcohol. He motions for you to come closer, patting his lap. "C'mere," he slurs slightly.
You hesitantly get up from the bed and make your way over to Logan's chair, a mixture of curiosity and apprehension in your eyes. As you get closer, he grabs your wrist and pulls you onto his lap, his movements slightly shaky from the liquor.
He looks up at you, his gaze intense and slightly unfocused. "You want a taste, huh?" He murmurs, his voice a low rumble in his chest. He lifts the beer bottle to his mouth and takes a long swig, then pulls you closer.
Without warning, he captures your lips in a kiss, the taste of beer strong on his tongue as he lets the alcohol pass from his mouth to yours.
The kiss is intense and possessive, his hand gripping your wrist tightly to keep you close.
The taste of beer and Logan's tongue mingling together is almost overpowering, and your head begins to spin from the unexpected intensity. Your hands instinctively grip the fabric of his shirt, trying to keep yourself steady as the kiss deepens.
After a long, dizzying moment, Logan finally breaks the kiss, his chest heaving with ragged breaths. He looks at you with hazy, almost feral eyes, his grip on your wrist still tight.
"Damn, bub," he mutters gruffly. "You really need to be fixed, y'know that?"
You look at him, your breath coming in quick, shallow gasps, your world still spinning from the kiss. "What… what do you mean?" You manage to pant out, your voice shaky from the mix of alcohol and adrenaline.
"You," Logan grumbles, his grip on your wrist loosening slightly. "You're a pain in the ass, you know that? A beautiful, stubborn little pain in the ass."
He looks up at you, his eyes roaming over your face, taking in your flushed cheeks and slightly dazed expression.
"Can't just let things be, can't just relax and enjoy the moment," he continues, his voice gruff and slurring slightly more with each word. "You always gotta push, gotta test the limits, gotta get what you want."
You manage to find your voice again, your words coming out in a soft, slightly shaky whisper.
"N-no, Logan," you reply, your eyes wide and fixed on his face. "I just…just wanted a taste. I didn't expect all this…"
Logan smirks, his hand moving up to cup your chin, his touch surprisingly gentle despite his earlier gruffness.
"Oh, don't worry darlin'. I can be a pain in your ass tomorrow morning when you wake up, and the morning after that, and the morning after that," he murmurs, his voice low and rough with alcohol and desire.
His eyes roam over your face again, taking in your flushed cheeks and slightly parted lips. "If that's what you want, anyway," he adds, a hint of teasing in his tone.
"Might be a little sore, though," he continues, his smirk widening into a grin. "You up for a little soreness in the morning?"
You swallow hard, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach at the implications of his words. "Y-yeah," you manage to stammer out, your voice cracking slightly. "I…I can handle a little soreness in the morning."
Logan's grin widens even more, his eyes darkening with lust. "That's what I like to hear," he says huskily. "A little pain, a lot of pleasure. That's what you want, ain't it?"
"Yeah," you whisper, your voice shaky as you meet his gaze. "Yeah, that's what I want."
"Good," he smiled reaching for your blouse and taking it off of you.
His fingers hastily worked through his buttoned down shirt before exposing his bare chest to the cold air of the room.
You placed a hand on his thick veiny arm. "Logan..?"
He immediately stopped, sensing you having second thoughts. "Yeah bubba?"
"I-" You paused, "Do you think I'm too young? Maybe I should find someone my own age?"
He chuckled and shook his head, "Like who? A silly school boy? Fuck no, baby. Silly school boys can't do what I can."
"Logan I'm just saying-" He hushed you with a finger.
"Hush baby girl, the answer is no."
With that he closed the windows.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his lips gently. Of course, he deepened it being as gruff and experienced as he was. But you were young and had no clue how to act. You let him guide you into a bliss.
Your hands moved to his shoulders as your nails dug into his skin.
"Good girl," he muttered against your lips. "A young man can't make you feel like this princess. I can smell your arousal."
He nipped at your lips as he continued working his fingers on your pants. You felt amazing, perched on his lap, kissing this big strong man who could take care of you, as he unclothed you.
With a swift and skillful tug, your pants were suddenly on the floor, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable on his lap. His hands roamed over your bare skin, sending shivers down your spine.
Logan's breath was hot on your neck as he murmured, "So damn beautiful. Young and sweet… and all mine, princess."
You shivered as his calloused hands traced over your curves, his fingers leaving a trail of sparks in their wake. You leaned your head back against his shoulder, your own hands gripping onto his biceps for support.
"Logan," you whispered, your voice already shaky. "I…"
"Shh," he hushed you, his lips finding their way to your neck. "Don't think about anything but this, baby girl. Just feel."
You gave into the moment, lost in the heady haze of arousal and desire. You surrendered to his touch, his kiss, letting the intensity of the moment wash over you.
His lips were firm and dominating on yours, his tongue delving into your mouth with a hungry possessiveness that left you breathless. His hands roamed over your body, large and calloused against your smooth skin, each touch sending waves of sensation through you.
This was wrong. You knew it was wrong. Yet it felt so right. You were being taken, claimed, by this older, rougher man, and you couldn't help but surrender
The taste of him, the musk of his skin, the scrape of his stubble against your chin as his kiss continued to deepen – all of it was driving you crazy. You could feel yourself getting lost in him, your body responding to his touch like it had a mind of its own.
His fingers traced patterns on your skin, drawing paths of fire across your body. You were on fire, burning for him, consumed by the passion that was building between you.
You could feel the desire building, the heat between your legs growing stronger with every second. He seemed to know exactly what you needed, his hands and lips working some kind of magic on you, bringing you into a fever pitch of need.
You could feel the roughness of his jeans against your bare thighs, a reminder of the difference between the two of you – a young thing, untried and inexperienced, and a man, older and world weary, with enough knowledge to drive you wild.
His hands moved to your hips, shifting you so you were straddling him, your bodies pressed as close as humanly possible. His mouth moved to your neck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses downwards, his breath hot against your skin.
You whimpered softly as he nipped at your collarbone, the sensation sending another wave of desire through you. Your hands were tangled in his hair, your fingers gripping it tightly, holding him closer, as if you couldn't stand the thought of him moving even an inch away from you.
His kiss was dominant, his touch possessive, but there was a tenderness there, a care that you hadn't expected. It was as if he was taking care of you, claiming you, but also making sure not to hurt you too much.
The thought only made you more aroused, more desperate for him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your body against his, aching for more. You could feel his hardness against you, a silent promise of the pleasure that was to come.
Finally, he pulls back from the kiss, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he looks down at you. A wolfish grin is plastered on his face.
"Damn, darlin'," he mutters, his voice gruff and raspy. "You're a feisty little thing, ain't ya?"
He runs a hand through his disheveled hair, his grin widening as he takes in your flushed and disheveled appearance. "Look at ya," he murmurs, his eyes roaming over your body. "All messy and needy, just from a little kissin'."
He cups your chin in his hand, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. "You like that, princess?" He asks, his tone teasing but with a hint of something deeper in his eyes. "Like the way I make you feel all riled up and wanton?"
You nod, unable to form words, your body still buzzing from the kiss and the way he was looking at you. "Yeah," you manage to whisper, your voice sounding small and breathless.
He chuckles softly, his hand moving from your chin to trail down your neck. “That’s what I thought,” he murmured, his fingers tracing a path down to your bare chest. “You like the way a big strong man like me can make you feel so small and weak. Like you belong to me.”
Your breath hitches in your throat as he pins you down on the bed, his body looming over you. He looks down at you with a wolfish grin.
"That's right, darlin'," he growl, his hands on your wrists, holding them down on either side of your head. "You're mine. Mine to take care of, mine to tease, mine to pleasure."
He holds your wrists with one hand, while undoing his belt with the other. You watch with fascination, and a hint of trepidation, as he pulls the belt slowly out of the loops of his jeans.
His jeans slid down his leg followed by his boxers.
His cock sprung free and your breath hitched. "You're getting ruined tonight, pretty girl." He whispered before pressing the head of his member to your entrance.
You whimpered grabbing onto his bicep.
The next thing you knew you were being stretched open by his length, letting out precious cries.
He wiped your tears of ecstasy with his large hands only adding to your arousal.
He pushed you further down into the bedsheets, the back of your head buried in the pillows.
His hips thrusted forward, your back arching as he let out loud grunts.
"You're doing amazing baby," he muttered into your ear. You let out a gentle moan, your hands tangling in his hair as his stubble brushed up against your cheek.
"P-please," you whispered.
A grin spread across his face, "Are you close sweetheart? Do you need daddy to fuck that cunt a little more?"
You whimpered, your nails pressing into his skin. "I-I think so... Oh god- Please just a little more Logan..."
The second you opened your mouth he was moving faster and more violently. Then his hot seed poured into you, and you were ruined.
Ruined on these white bedsheets. Ruined for the first time. Ruined, no longer innocent. Ruined by this older man.
A long gasp escaped your throat.
"Did you enjoy yourself hun?" He murmured into your ear.
"I..." You nodded. "I did, thank you."
You laid down in his arms not prepared for another round for a long while. You were still processing all that had happened.
He got up to take a shower.
After a moment of silence, you hear the bathroom door open and close, the sound of the shower turning on following soon after. You're left alone with your thoughts, your body still humming with the aftermath of what just happened.
You lie there, staring up at the ceiling, your mind swimming with a flurry of emotions. There's a mixture of pleasure, confusion, and a hint of shock at what just happened.
The sound of running water continues from the bathroom, a constant reminder of the man inside who just took you to heights you'd never before experienced.
You're still trying to process everything – the feeling of his body against yours, the way he moved, the way he made you feel. The way he called you 'his.'
You listen to the sounds of the shower, the water drumming against the tiled walls. You can picture him in there, the soap suds running over his muscular, scarred body, the steam rising around him.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the shower stopping, and the bathroom door opening again. A moment later, Logan appears in the doorway, steam billowing behind him. He's got a towel wrapped around his waist, and his hair is damp and tousled.
He grins when he sees you on the bed, sprawled out and still recovering from the intensity of it all. "Hey there, princess," he says, his voice low and gravelly. He walks over to the bedside and looks down at you with a hungry gaze.
"Looks like I wore you out," he chuckles. He reaches out and brushes a strand of hair out of your face, his touch unexpectedly gentle.
"But you look damn cute all worn out," he adds, his smirk growing wider. He lowers himself onto the bed beside you, his weight causing the mattress to dip under him.
He props himself up on one elbow, his eyes roaming over your body, taking in the sight of you, still naked and flushed in the aftermath of their encounter. “You doin' all right, baby girl?”
You nod, managing a slight smile. "Yeah," you whisper, your voice still a little hoarse. "I'm just…processing everything, I guess."
He pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. You can feel the warmth of his skin against yours, the heat radiating from him like a furnace.
He nuzzles his face into your hair, inhaling deeply. "You smell good, princess," he murmurs, his voice low and gravely.
"And you're so damn soft," he continues, his free hand roaming over your bare back. "So soft and warm, just like a little kitten."
You shiver slightly at his touch, the sensation both comforting and arousing. You press yourself closer to him, relishing the feeling of being enveloped in his strong arms.
He continues to murmur in your ear, his words now growing more heated. "And that little body of yours….so tender, so responsive, all for me," he whispers, his voice a low rumble in your ear.
His hand runs down your spine, sending little jolts of electricity through your body. "You're mine now, princess," he whispers into your hair. "All mine. My sweet, little thing."
He wraps both arms around you, holding you close to his broad chest. You can hear the steady thump-thump of his heartbeat, a comforting rhythm in the quiet room.
Wrapped up in his embrace, his warmth and strength surrounding you, you feel safe and cared for. The worries and fears of the mission fade away as your eyes grow heavy.
Before you know it, you're slipping into a deep and peaceful sleep, your breathing slow and steady, your body completely relaxed in Logan's strong arms.
🏷️: @vintagemoss
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lady-phasma · 3 days
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Idk if this is a insensitive question, but how do you deal with ageism in fandom space? I'm in my late twenties and people already make me feel so weird about still caring about certain things, calling us hags and such, it's really depressing
Hi nonnie!
Not insensitive at all! First, hugs. I am so sorry that you have had that experience.
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Please don’t let it get you down too much. If you don't follow me or are a new follower, let me give you some background. I don't allow bigotry or hate of any kind on my blog. That has the effect of also dramatically decreasing rudeness in my sphere. I got the nickname auntie for a few reasons, but one is because I'm older than a lot of folks. I embraced it. Especially when I realized that people needed a safe space in some fandoms. (The nickname originated as "writing auntie" but auntie stuck.)
So how do I deal with ageism? BLOCK. If anyone makes you feel old (seriously late 20s is so young!), block them. How do I not take it personally? That might be the more accurate interpretation of your question. I look at my nerdy tattoos and smile. I watch my blorbos and favorite shows and write smut. I check my notifications for all the people who get joy from my posts, fics, and gifs.
Honestly, I think it gets easier to not give a fuck when you get older because, for myself at least, the march of time is inevitable, so we might as well enjoy the things we enjoy. I literally do not give a shit if someone has a problem with me being 41 and in fandoms on Tumblr. I have 30 years' experience writing fanfiction. I have a whole-ass life off this blog. And I need my fandoms because they make me happy and that's a precious thing in life.
So, if I had advice to give you it might be this: just hold on. When you hit 30 you will probably stop caring. Until then, block them, post even more, do nerdier shit, and make yourself happy. The best way to deter people who want to make others miserable is to show them that they can't do that to you.
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irritablepoe · 7 months
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y u crying?
Well technically I'm not crying yet👀 but. Uh. Life is happening to me and lil ol' socially-a-wreck me can't take it apparently
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klysanderelias · 11 months
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It's always funny to me when a big-name youtuber argues vociferously that souls-like games DO have a difficulty setting, it's Playing The Game Right (leveling, build, using summons, etc), and then later on in the same video will have a fifteen minute long section complaining about how certain boss fights completely invalidate certain builds or require you to drastically alter your style of play, and i'm like... I thought you were in FAVOR of this.
And of course they're not, they just don't understand what a difficulty setting IS anymore, and that's completely fair because I think that most DEVELOPERS don't either, but it means that the criticism they make is always couched in a fundamental misunderstanding of the thing they're trying to criticise (and also usually a complete misunderstanding of where the criticism comes from).
And I want to be clear, I've beaten basically every single Dark Souls game, I beat bloodborne, I played shitloads of elden ring and the reason I didn't beat it was because I got bored, and I've done speedruns and soul level 1 runs of dark souls 3. I'm pretty much the dark souls power player that everyone expects would argue AGAINST having difficulty options.
But.
I've been playing thousands of hours of battletech, and the battletech difficulty screen has been the singlehandedly biggest argument I've had change my mind.
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In the game, Battletech modifies difficulty per mission by changing the total health of enemies, changing their skills and experience levels, the usual fare of difficulty curves (although damage is never affected, thank god). But having all these granular options can dramatically change the way the game is played without simply affecting health values or hit percentages.
Toggling mech destruction and lethality means that losing a mech in a mission or having a pilot be knocked unconscious removes them permanently. They're killed, destroyed, you need to go get a new one. That's a HUGE change from the base difficulty where having a mech be completely destroyed in combat just removes the weapon components and costs a ton to repair. Likewise, changing the number of parts required to buy or salvage in order to complete a mech DRAMATICALLY changes the game - the maximum amount of parts you can get from a single mech is 3, and usually you only get 1. Needing 3 parts means that if you're lucky, you could see a brand new mech in a mission, blow its head off, and get one for free. Moving that scale up both means that rare or expensive mechs take much much longer to earn, but also that replacing mechs takes much longer (meaning that losses are even more painful).
Like, every single one of these options can dramatically affect how you play the game or change the feel of it to something much more interesting to you as a player - do you want to play a rogue-like game where you have to save and scrounge to get new mechs, and each mech and pilot is a precious resource you have to protect? or do you want to powerscale fast and constantly get new mechs and rare weapons?
And like, having extremely granular options for gameplay isn't for everyone, but then again, there are the owlcat pathfinder CRPGs that do this same thing, but have a base 'easy-normal-hard' sort of slider that automatically selects certain options, and you can adjust them if you want. If you're not interested in going through each slider you can just say 'I'd like normal please' and the game automatically makes all the selections, but you can also stop and say 'hey actually let me turn on permadeath too' and you can do that.
And I think that when people think about difficulty, they think about the most basic 'health and damage adjustments' sliders, and not ANYTHING else that actually have much more of an impact. I will hit this point to my grave that dark souls would massively benefit from difficulty options like turning off instakill effects (like curse or petrification) or removing the harsh penalty of dying when you can't get back to your bloodstain because a) that's often what drive new players off the most, and b) it doesn't fuckin' matter anyway, all you're losing is souls, the only thing it does is make you have to go grind more to make up for it.
And of course, there are always EXTRA challenge runs people come up with - nuzlocke runs of pokemon, soul level 1 runs of dark souls, hell, when I do Battletech I often add additional challenges like 'no intentional destruction of civilian buildings' or 'each mech must be assigned to a pilot and if one of them is sidelined, so is the other'
But challenge runs aren't difficulty settings, and more importantly there's no way to unchallenge run a game. You can decide to make the game harder for yourself, but you can't make the game EASIER. And when people say that you can, they're lying to you. Like yeah, there builds that are very strong in dark souls, and leveling optimally will make the game easier, but if you don't know what optimal leveling looks like, it's pointless. If you have a deep and thorough understanding of the game, and you check the messageboards, and delve through the wiki, and use a couple of exploits, the game will be easy! And if it's still too hard for you after that? Well, go fuck yourself, you just spent hours of your life doing research only to give up on the game anyway.
And the truth is, most people who argue that dark souls shouldn't have a difficulty slider are doing it out of bad faith, because they have a certain amount of ego riding on 'being good at hard game' as a character trait, and making these games more accessible frightens them because what if being good at dark souls isn't actually getting them into heaven
but also because they're somehow afraid that having extra difficulty options in the game will tempt them into choosing them? And then they won't get the 'true experience'?
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Gamers are some of the most fragile people in existence that the mere option of reducing difficulty sends them into hysterics.
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wild-at-mind · 7 months
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Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.
#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me#i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu#to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately.#i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked#but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago#so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer#and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones'#who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get#she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is#that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist#i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry)#and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because#i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'(#like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy#of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with#i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless#but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it
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antiadvil · 19 days
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sorry people are annoying about your chronic illness lou i think you rock and it sucks that you have migraine 😔 you deserve to have so much fun at tit no matter what tho. love you x1000
thank you <3 i am really excited for tit!! i was talking with some friends the other day and i'm trying to convince a friend to visit for the show so we could go together and even if they can't make it it's going to be so fun. i'm for sure going to be meeting up with a friend who i met up with at WAD and there should be a few other tumblr people there who i'm excited to meet :) i'm planning to take a nurtec beforehand to hopefully help prevent a migraine from the lights/general excitement of the experience and i will have my nsaids and triptans with me in case that's not enough!
my real hope though is that whatever we do at my next neurology appointment will actually help this time (which it should... i think i've finally jumped through enough hoops for botox or a cgrp antagonist but i've thought that before and insurance has told me i am wrong) and i will maybe not need to worry so much about all the migraine stuff. summoning circle or whatever
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deviousdiesel · 2 months
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#so that dotd rewrite is out and i have some thoughts on it but i wouldn't know where to put them.. maybe in here bc i don't actually feel -#- like making a whole ass text post. this is coming from me as criticism and not hate.. just some crit from one fan to another if you get m#SPOILERS AHEAD >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#first off props to the team because this was obv a labor of love - 4 and a half years to make a feature long fan movie is hard work#and the animated stuff was a really nice touch and very commendable - you don't see them too often in big fanworks#in terms of the story well.. there are some things i like and some things that i don't (personally) again no hate#i'm aware this is a rewrite and boy howdy it IS a rewrite - though i am a bit sad that percy doesn't end up being the protagonist and it's#- thomas that has to play hero again.. like i kinda get it but what made the original dotd stand out was that percy was given the spotlight#so i spent an ungodly amount of time wondering when percy was gonna take charge or step into the main story to resolve the problem.. sigh#i liked that they tried to give norman more of a character bc a lot of characters do often get neglected in the series but it was kind of -#- hard to sell that for me? the twist in this rewrite was very creative and i do appreciate it but i guess it just ain't for me#“different” is ok and this is just one of many fan rewrites for this particular story#if there was something i enjoyed.. i guess the beginning was still kind of exciting because the set up was honestly like hype a bit#i liked that diesel and d10 actually got to interact face to face and there are clearer dynamics established for the diesels#and also. silverband's performances as d10 will always be fun he does a fantastic job voicing him (how d10 stole xmas will still be my fav)#my criticisms for this movie also derive from the pacing and the voice acting - i found it hard to try and understand tones sometimes -#- because the delivery felt so off.. like don't get me wrong not everyone in the fandom is a voice actor but if we're using static faces -#- for these fan works the delivery has to be a little more clear or else it'll sound like you're reading from a script.. sorry yall :"|#for the pacing i found it a bit hard to parse when some things were going on and how fast things were progressing#as well as the crashes.. that's also another thing bc i couldn't tell bc of the sfx and audio balancing - it could be better..#i wanna say. muffled voices do not substitute for a “far away”/off-screen voice bc i still can't hear it :“|#there were a lot of throwbacks and references to older thomas media/movies but some of them felt a little.. much?#if this is a dotd rewrite why are we getting some parallels with tatmr.. but i digress. at least they made diesel beef with duck a bit#there's a lot more i could say but i'm keeping those to myself. at the end of the day this fan movie was hard work for everyone involved#and you can tell some of the folks were having fun in there - props to them! i'm always glad to see more fan works in the community#we've come so far we're making feature length fan stories and rewrites that's crazy! i hope to see more in the future#fauxtrainpost.txt
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arcaneyouth · 2 months
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vulpinesaint · 3 months
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my problematic gender truth is that i actually feel no attachment to either of the two binary gender constructs. it just like. makes no sense to me. i've got my own unrelated thing going on. but in the absence of connection to either choice i really do find it more convenient to cosplay closer to the one that people treat like a human being
#have never liked being a girl. but that's not really out of like. any kind of desperation to be anything else.#i don't care about being a man literally at all in fact the idea is kind of uncomfortable to me. cause i'm not a man#but being perceived as a woman is such orders of magnitude worse...#testosterone is awesome cause transsexuality is so fucking hot no matter what#but like. dysphoria is so fucking weird when there's not even rll anything i'm trying to pass as. i complain ab not passing but i'm not#like. putting my all into it. i go out looking like i do and i know i'm not reading Man i don't give a fuck.#but yet... holding myself back from fun makeup looks... from skirts even... cause knowing that someone sees me as a woman is Awful#like. dehumanizing even. viscerally uncomfortable.#idk. for me it connects to a lack of respect. girls will treat me nice no matter what and i don't think i read as a girl To Girls#vague gay person energy that just makes them say 'slay' around me too much. so not a Boy to them but i'll play gbf whatevs whatevs#starting a conversation with a man and being able to immediately tell that they see me as a woman fucking Sucks though.#many people are normal and so this is not an issue <3 and even if they don't see me as a man it's like whatever <3#but many people. well.#I Can Tell You Don't Respect Me. Could You Treat Me Like A Tranny At Least#disgust would be better honestly. long sigh though#every trans person i meet says i pass like hell. cis people continue to be blind and fucking stupid though#i read as a boy to ai now lmao i get the boy results on filters. so it's something wrong with the real life cissies i think#valentine notes
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ppulverse · 5 months
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lwoorl · 1 year
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I'll say it: "Oh all AI artists do is write a stupid description and immediately get an image with no effort, there's no art in that" is the new "Digital painting doesn't count as art because it takes no effort"
#Look I'm aware there're moral reasons to criticize AI art such as how corporations will use it#and the fact lots of models (not all however) use stolen content#But all you have to do is visit a forum dedicated to AI art to quickly realize it actually takes some effort to make quality images#And honestly from what I've seen those guys are often very respectful of traditional artists if not traditional artists themselves#Not a single bit of 'haha those idiots are working hard when they could simply use AI!' that Tumblr likes to strawman them as#Lots of 'So I did the base with AI and then painted over it manually in Photoshop' and 'I trained this model myself with my own drawings'#And I'm not saying there aren't some guys that are being assholes over it on Twitter#But when you go to an actual community dedicated to it. Honestly these guys are rather nice#I've seen some truly astounding projects#like there was this guy that was using people's scars to create maps of forests and mointains to sort of explore the theme of healing#And this one that took videos of his city and overlayed them with some solarpunk kind of thing#And this one that was doing a collection of dreams that was half AI amd half traditional painting#Anyway the point is you guys are being way too mean to a group of people that genuinely want to use the technology to create cool art#And while I'm aware there are issues related to its use#it's actually really fucked up you're attacking the individual artists instead of corporations???#It's as if you were attacking the chocolate guy over the systemic problems related to the chocolate industry!#And also tumblrs always like 'Oh AI is disgusting I hate AI art so I'll just hate in it without dealing with the issue'#While AI art forums often have posts with people discussing how go use it ethically when applied to commercial use!!#Honestly these guys are doing way more about tackling the issue than tumblr and you should feel bad!!!
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faceglitchsworld · 1 year
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I thought about the most hurtful comments I heard in my life, and I came to the conclusion that, to this day, the most hurtful ones are always about my body (and in general how I eat badly apparently even if I avoid all the junk food possible) and how I'll end up alone.
And the one who always told me these words has always been my mum...
Yikes 😬
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erstwhile-elster · 9 months
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ae
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alchemistdetective · 9 months
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The Wanderer
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viulus · 9 months
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Finally tried out Ghost Trick tonight
#vu's posts#i downloaded a bunch of demos for interesting-looking games to my switch last month#and that was one of them... it's weird because despite being a long-time ace attorney fan i never thought to check this game out#but honestly? so far it's really good. and no joke i kept saying 'oh yeah i can *see* the shu takumi writing style here'#i really enjoyed great ace attorney (which he also wrote) a year and a half back so i think i'll really enjoy this too#i also tried out... spiritfarer... hyrule warriors... and octopath traveler 2. couldn't get into any of them honestly.#SF falls into the 'cozy' game genre... and i fucking hate that genre. it's so boring.#i could talk about my disdain for that genre as a whole some more 🤢 but i will spare everyone reading this.#hyrule warriors was a letdown because... i guess i just dislike that style of gameplay?#this was my first time trying a dynasty warriors-type game... and i had a feeling that i wouldn't like it. it's a shame i was right though#and as for octopath traveler... i think i'm willing to give it more of a chance? but at the same time...#It's a turn-based jrpg. and between p5 and pokemon i'm kind of burnt out on that genre#i want to give it another chance because i might actually really enjoy the writing... but idk if i can tolerate the jrpg gameplay 😬#OH#i also started on alan wake and death's door last month... so far so good on both.#AW is one of those games that my bslur 1 was OBSESSED with when i was younger. so that's been my connection to it for years#never thought that i'd care about it at all but.. yeah it's actually pretty good so far#death's door is hella fun so far... it was slow at first but i'm really enjoying myself with it now#but yeah. i'm gonna go to bed now... que tenga una buena noche 👋
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dravencore · 1 year
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like pleaseeeee why can't people understand that knives being Just As Human as vash is what makes him so compelling.
same with vash! he is not just naturally kind and soft etc. those are Active Choices that he makes every day. he could have so easily closed himself off just like knives and honestly i wouldn't blame him for it!
and knives!!!! was a really sweet kid! he was honestly More emotional than vash before he shut down. knives is not naturally cold and sharp. he made himself that way! he killed the softness inside him bc it hurt too much and he will Not let himself get hurt again.
also also also just
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