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#I'm not even annoyed just feel sad for this person
meraki-sunset · 2 days
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This is a long letter of gratitude. Embrace my endless words of pure gratefulness.
Dear Autor of the most amazing thing I've ever read.
I was writing this letter from the moment I reached the middle of your Crow Strider AU fanfiction. There is so many things I want to say and I'm so happy that I can say it to you all here without words limit. Forgive me for exuberance, I'm squeezing out all my abilities to express what I feel in this foreign language that's not of us first language.
Let me list all the things I'm grateful for, because I'm autistic and I love listing:
1. Crow Strider
The arc of Davesprite you created is masterpiece of writing. The process of deconstructing his personality, forgiving and letting his part behind as well as embracing his new identity and new body is written so thoughtfully with such a care of details. I love how you made him so different from Dave as well as still kept his Daveness in full glory of Striderness. You made him happy and more emotional available and open, at the same time it felt so natural for him to be that way because of the proper build up you gave him. Thank you so much for creating Crow Strider and letting us read his well written arc.
2. There's a Dave for everyone
THERE'S LITERALLY DAVE FOR EVERYONE. You have no idea what struggles I went through trying to understand what person Dave ended up with in canon, and then being sad of what happened in epilogues. I wanted Dave for Karkat. I wanted Dave for Jade. I wanted them to be happy. And you did it. You made it possible. You made them all happy. I love it so much. Thank you so much for making them happy. You even gave Teresi one Dave for her. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful it's unreal.
3. More Davepeta
This part is simple, I simply love Davepeta and you gave me a lot of good Davepeta content. Thank you for that.
4. You made me like characters I didn't like
I wasn't big fan of Tavros. I got tired of Vrisca by the end of Homestuck. I didn't really see Hal as an interesting character. I honestly hated Gamzee. And Jasprosesprite squared was so annoying for me
Well, not anymore! You somehow managed to write these characters more compelling for me than Hussie did. Now I love Tavros and Hal, I mean, cat Hal? Is there anything more cute and cool at the same time?
And NGL I genuinely wanted Gamzee to die and I can't believe that now I'm not, because I just read a very good redemption arc of this clown. I also love the way you dealt with Vrisca. Heck I love all characters written by you!
5. God tier Karkat
I've dreamt of seeing a good piece of god tier Karkat. I was so curious how does it even work to be Knight of Blood, we didn't see any version of Blood god tier in canon. I'm big fan of your version, it fits the character and the aspect so well, and the execution of his arc as he is chosen to open the door... Honestly? I prefer that over canon, though it wouldnt make as much sense as in your fanfiction. It just feels like you took a much better care of Karkat than official ending of Homestuck. Don't get me wrong, I love Homestuck an it's ending, your fanfiction wouldn't exist without it. I honestly think that Hussie didn't really have as much time and space to give his characters as extended arcs as you gave them without losing the dynamic of his story. But you could. And you did. Thank you so much.
6. So many people got better, more extended arcs
Like above. You made Jas much better. You gave Nanna much better, more compelling arc than she had in canon. You made Hal and Tavros much more relatable and gave them very well character development plot, even if short. You took your time to write very needed and wanted dialogues between characters than didn't have their time to interact in canon. Like Jake and Dirk (ESPECIALLY THEM OMG). Like Erisol and Feferi. Like Jas and Rose. And I didn't even know that I needed the last one. Thank you so much.
7. You made ships that I didn't know where even possible and I like them????
Seriously, Tavros and Jane?? Erisol and Arquius??? Josh and Dirk??? I love how your brain works
8. You absolutely nailed the delicate topic of transgender
I used to not be a big fan of June, because there were no realistic signs of John having any kind of thoughts or doubts about his gender in canon. You made a very much needed and really great thoughtfully written arc from June and Josh, even caring about the topic of transition and executing it really great. Thank you so much for yet again being so good at writing arcs.
9. Eridan and Sollux
I love them both and their weird toxic rivalty, and I absolutely love that you gave them some attention and let Eridan grow and try to redeem himself while also helping Sollux with hii2 p2iioniic problem2. I download almost every single frame of it.
10. YOUR ARTSTYLE
You're artstyle. I don't know where to begin with that. It's so amazing. Expressive, dynamic, cute, beautiful, colorful. I love every line of your comics. Your style is the way I always wanted to draw. It's just perfect. And also perfect for Homestuck fanfiction. It's just so similar, yet gives it a bit of softness as well as the kind of expressiveness I love, that makes every single shot more appealing. Warm scene are so warm, sad scene are so sad, dynamic scenes are so epic, it's like so delicious. Yes, I just ran out of words. Let me grab a dictionary...
Your style is outstanding. It gives me this feeling of familiarity, it's similar of Homestuck style, yet so different, its fresh and new while also feels like home.
I wish you have a printed version of your fanfiction (but I probably can't afford it sadly). There is something so soothing in this simple colors, it's not too loud, not too many colors, yet so many and smooth colorful lines. I will learn to draw like you, I'm sorry for adapting your style, but I really want to draw like that and you even posted some tutorials how to draw like you.
Thank you so so much that you put so much time and effort into making this wonderful comic and then share with all of us completely for free. You drew so many expressive pages, sometimes even 10 pages per static dialogue, which means you officially outbested the master of overdoing Andrew Hussie himself, that did maximum of 3 pages per 1 static dialogue scene. I noticed you slowed down a bit at the end and drew much more simplified panels as well as you started using same panels many times. Good. It's okay to go the easier way. No one wants you to overwork yourself and burnout. No one wants you to have trauma with drawing and not wanting to draw comic ever again. It's extremely generous of you that you posted for absolutely free such a wonderful and huge piece of art. I'm endlessly grateful.
11. The plot
I love how you started from one simple idea of giving Crow more arc, and then gradually extended it into a whole huge fixfiction. It went so smoothly it looked like really one different decision of one person can change the whole timeline. It went so naturally, it felt so realistic as if I read something that Andrew Hussie wrote as a coexisting canon.
I have to admit, the whole idea of not doomed and not canon timeline is pretty ridiculous, and I love every bit of it. Paradoxally, it sounds so much like something that could actually exist in Homestuck canon. I love it
A few little things I didn't like that much
I wouldnt be myself if I didn't comment on some stuff that wasn't perfect. I'll be bery brief with that, because these things didn't really bothered me that much, I just want to share a little bit of criticism I have.
I hope it won't sound rude when I say that I didn't really felt like you understand the character of Nepeta very well? She didn't felt that like Nepeta in your fanfiction, at least for me. I felt like some stuff were explained a bit too many times. I know that characters needed that, yet we as viewers already know some stuff and didn't need to read it again. Also, I really missed the type styles of characters. I know how hard it is to keep it through entire fanfiction, especially writing some of the characters with quite complicated type style. I just missed it a bit. On the other hand it made a few characters much more comprehensive.
I hope I didn't hurt you with this few words of critics. Now I want to share a few of my favorite pages, I hope you don't mind if I end this letter with fangirling over your drawings. I actually wanted to do a lot of comments during reading your fanfiction, but the website didn't let comments. Sadly. That's why I'm writing here. And now is time I will do what I wanted to do back then:
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This scene, my fav scene in Homestuck, got so extended in your fanfiction, I felt so gifted and it wasn't even my birthday
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I cried.
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This. Made me laugh so hard. And it's even funnier without context.
I just reached photos limit. Sadly. I'm so grateful for your comic. I love it so much. Thank you again for making it. You're a wonderful person
Hey there! Thank you so much for the letter, and for taking your time translating it to English for me to understand. Since it’s in a list format, I guess I’ll answer as list as well! So:
Crow strider
It was challenging writing Crow because I needed to basically write Dave but with a twist in his personality due to living with the Harley-Egberts and their grandma, in a very cozy and caring environment.
Honestly I don’t think I managed to portray enough Daveness, his personality is very particular and difficult for me to replicate, but I did the best I could and my friend and editor will help me reach the right amount of striderness in the epilogue
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2. A Dave for everyone
Indeed, there’s Dave for everyone. The homestuck epilogues made me realize how lonely Jade ended up, and I always loved Davesprite and jade, but with one being human and the other one a Sprite the relationship was bound to fail, and even tho I wasn’t fond of JadexDavepeta, still i would’ve prefered it to jade being all alone and Davepeta dying fighting Lord English. So now, not only Jade has Crow, and they’re happy, but the Karezi – davekat – daverezi mess all got fused into one, because I love them and their trip was a Little different from in canon. And also Davepeta is around, I don’t think they’ll end up with anyone, but they’ll vibe on EarthC.
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3. More Davepeta
They’re alive, and I like showing the craziness that comes from them knowing all timelines but being above them and detached from them. 
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4. The characters you didn’t use like
I like exploding underused characters. Because with them, you’ve only seen the Surface, but at the same time you have info about them that can be used to make them more profound. If Tavros got revived, why isn’t he mad at Vriska? What was he doing those 3 years in the bubbles? If Jasprose is a seer and has knowledge of all timelines due to being ultimate self, doesn’t that make her the ultimate clairvoyant? Doesn’t that mean she’s the key to winning? Does she miss the mother like rose does? If there’a already an Arquius, why make another? Why not have just Hal as a Sprite and have him figure out what being alive is actually like?. You get the Surface of the characters and knowing what you know about them, you dig deeper, until you find their humanity and write about it.
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5. Godtier Karkat
I love Karkat on Homestuck, but I feel like the character lost weight towards the end of the story, he stopped being the leader and while everyone went and fought someone important like the Condesce, the jacks, the dogjack, or Lord English, he was just somewhere else doing whatever. I wanted to give him his hero moment that closes his development.
As for the door, I feel like in canon john was the right choice to open the door, he’s the hero and the leader, not to mention it’s a human session, it makes total sense and I wouldn’t change it
Every story has things that don’t get to be explored, because that would make them too long and cut the flow, making it unreadable. That why we love fan fictions and AUs so much, they take the pieces and reassemble them into something new, filling the empty spaces.
What makes the events on AUs fun is that they didn’t happen in canon. So if John opened the door in canon, and it was right, then Karkat can open this one, and it can be right on this specific timeline. He gets closure from the door he never got to open, and takes back his role as a leader, even if it’s just for a moment, since the battle is over by now. He’s the leader once again, but this time he understands the weight of it in a way he couldn’t grasp when he was 13, claimed he was in charge and let everyone down. He now understands it’s not just something you ask for, it’s something you earn, he’s now the Knight of blood, god of bonds, he took down the Condesce in the name of his species, and will open the door for his peers to enter the new universe they created together where they’ll create a free society, he became what the signless predicted, his rightful successor. His arc is completed.
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6. Extended arcs
Jas was planned since the beginning to close crow’s arc about his rose and his regrets about leaving her behind. It’s only when he’s made peace with losing her, has left his old self behind and is ready to face the battle and his future, that he gets his reward. He gets her back, in the strangest way
With Nanna, i just though nobody ever focused that there was an actual adult around during the whole adventure, Nanna would’ve spent a lot of time around john and jade, them being each others remaining family. So I tried to give her the role of a guardian, breaking a Little with this “orphaned children on their own” that all characters have.
Honestly I tried to make it as interesting as I could, sometimes I would take characters that didn’t have any screen time and think, what can they do? What’s in their mind at this moment that they could tackle in conversation? And with whom? Who else needs screen time?. And that’s how you get, Jake and Tavros bonding, Nepeta, Fefeta, Davepeta and Feferi ship-chat, Arquius telling Terezi and Karkat about Erisol, Hal comforting Eridan, ect.
It’s actually a really cool writing exercise I do sometimes. I grab two characters that have nothing in common, and write a conversation between them. What’s the common ground? Are their stories alike in some way? Do they have a common hobby or worry? It’s really cool because you find stuff about the characters you never paid attention to before
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7. Unlikely ships
Tavros and Jane came from me wanting Tavros to be more assertive. In canon Vriska instructed him to not interact with the Alpha kids during those 6 months, but since this Tavros doesn’t listen to her because he took self-esteem lessons from Rufioh, I felt like he probably spent that time actually being a guide to Jane and then becoming Friends while solving puzzles, Jane being a fan of mysteries and Tavros probably missing his flarp days. Also theres a funny thing about Tavros and Jane, and it’s Tavros is supposed to represent Peter pan, while Vriska is supposed to represent both Tinkerbell (she dressed up like a fairy for him and later became an actual fairy) being attracted to him but being short fused when rejected, and also represent Captain Hook, Peter pan’s enemy (with her flarp persona and her ancestor being a pirate), but she’s not Wendy in any way, and I feel like Jane is, she’s the homeschooled girl, with blue eyes who looked through her window waiting to be free because her father wouldn’t let her out (also Wendy’s brother was named john who used big glasses). She’s a normal girl coming in contact with this fairy boy from a world of only children. Idk, makes sense to me. (besides, Wendy darling’s daughter, who Peter pan later takes on adventures too was named Jane, who also has blue eyes)
Erisol and Arquius was a crack ship that suddenly made sense, because it’s one-sided, and I feel like arquius is a caring person, he just has a difficult time socializing like a normal person. He’s just really happy to be a sprite and is pissed by Erisol’s insistence on wanting to explode.
Also, Arquius promising Fefeta that he wouldn’t break Erisol’s neck unless he had a good reason ( he kinda wanted to) and eventually having to break his neck for the good reason of god tiering him (he now doesn't want to and feels bad about it) was something I planned for months
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Josh and dirk, i think it’s funny. Dirk wouldn’t have dated jade because she’s a girl, but Josh is a boy so it’s good, AND, he’s like a more direct, version of Jake who takes no bullshit.
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8. The topic of transgender
Originally the second spaceship post retcon was supposed to arrive empty, or with only Davesprite, but I saw an opportunity to solve a division in the audience. Some people were interested in John remaining as he was, while others wanted to see June. Since John never showed any doubts about his gender in canon, it wasn’t in my original plans for June to make an appearance during CSAU, because the comic only covered the same period of time as canon. But when it came time to write the retcon I realized I had an opportunity to make them both coexist, making a shift in the timeline, but said shift being there both since the beginning and for the purpose of surviving the recon. Making June and Josh a reality since the beginning, so the timeline would survive the consequences of the two Egberts crossing paths post retcon.
It’s nice to hear you liked it, I know not everyone did. I tried to be respectful but at the same time be true to the nonsensical nature of canon Homestuck that makes timelines twist and change to the story’s convenience, making the events real but chaotic. Also since i knew John’s dad wasn’t coming back and Jane’s dad wouldn’t make it, June would be the last remaining conection to John’s old home and so John would be June's, relying on eachother for comfort when it comes to the loss of their father and home.
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9. Eridan and Sollux
I want to cover Eridan’s redemption in the epilogue, since all we know is he grew as a person during his time in the bubbles, leading to his change of heart interacting with Sollux and Kanaya
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10. Art style
Thank you! I like to give the characters a full range of emotions and for the surroundings to accompany that
No need to be sorry for learning through my art, in the end my style, like everyone else’s, is bits and pieces from other artists we’ve seen, admired and/or learned from. Just make sure to add your personal touch to make your artstyle trully yours
It’s true that by the end I reused more static panels for dialogue, both because there was a lot for the characters to say, not that much action left, and my battery was running low haha
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11. The plot
I tried my best for the story to be a big butterfly effect steaming from crow’s decision to ascend, working towards the most possible outcomes like Crow getting grimdarked by the Condesce too, the sprites surviving because of Nanna and so on
I wanted this timeline to coexist with canon because I don’t like the idea of overwriting it, canon happened and was important, CSAU just happened to be taking place close by
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12. Things you didn’t like
I do in fact not understand the character of Nepeta very well, I reread Homestuck in order to get the original troll's personality better, but Nepeta is a character I don’t get. On top of that, she doesn’t appear much in CSAU so didn’t have much time to develop her.
I do struggle with over explaining, I think is stems from not wanting the reader to be confused (it has happened on discord that people come and ask me what was going on in the story when i thought I had written it in a way people could understand with no problems), which leads to me explaining everything too bluntly sometimes, so the characters sometimes ramble TOO much, and I wish I could go back and reduce the dialogs, but that would involve going back to the page’s codes to delete certain pages and replace others, and also changing the programming for the page’s backgrounds, not to mention my computer crashes when I try to modify pages too far back, since they’re 4000 of them. It’s one of those things I can only learn from and try to do better in the next project
The character’s typing was a core part of Homestuck because it was mostly portrayed as blocks of texts and the quirks made it easy to know who was talking even with people having the same typing color. The reason I didn’t use them it’s simply because I could barely write good enough in English, let alone add quirks. My friend offered me to add the quirks at some point when we were revising the dialogs, but I declined because some people found it easier to read without them and I didn’t want to add another step to the render of the pages.
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13. Favorite pages
I also cried with that Gamzee panel, I planned it for months and i waited a long time to draw those last panels, I’m glad they made people laugh
Haha, also yeah, the Strider reunion got really extended with so many extra striders. Davepeta, Crow and Hal making the reunion complete
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Thank you for this message! i'll do my best to write a good epilogue (which by now is actually a secuel) and i hope you have a great day🌻🌻🌻
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babyangelsky · 2 days
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I know we're all still sweating over the first half of this episode (or I am at least) but since I'm feeling chatty today, I really wanna talk about Mut and Tongrak's conversation at the restaurant and how much I loved it. There are so many little moments that deserve appreciation and recognition.
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This is the first one. When the auntie comes over to sing Mut's praises, he doesn't look at her or at Tongrak, he just ducks his head. From what she says, we can gather that this isn't the first time he's brushed off compliments so it isn't that he's not used to praise. I think there's a little more to it.
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And look at Tongrak's expression after the auntie leaves.
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And the way he looks at Mut afterward. There's fondness there. There's respect and admiration. We've had small moments before this where the way Tongrak looks at Mut changes but this feels like the first time he really sees him. He's getting a clearer picture of who Mut is and what he means to the people in the village.
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And it's because of that that he looks genuinely surprised and a little shocked when Mut reveals that his father kicked him out at 15. You can almost hear him asking himself, "how could anyone ever do that to this man?"
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Mut talks about how he went to live with his aunt and started supporting himself relatively casually but there's a faraway look in his eyes when Tongrak asks why he doesn't go home.
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And he looks down because despite his tone, it hurts to remember why he can't go home. It makes him sad to remember why he considers the fishing boat only his father's instead of theirs, as a family.
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There's a defiance in his expression when he says that his father never takes back what he says and neither does he, and there was something about this specific wording and look that made me think that the reason his father kicked him out has to do with him being queer.
I have not read the novel (nor am I asking for spoilers) so I could be very wrong but this moment just read so queer to me. It unfortunately wouldn't be unheard of for a parent to kick out their queer child and for that child to cut ties with them because of it.
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The shift in expression when Mut asks Tongrak if he thinks he's pitiful is so tiny but it's so significant. It's like he's daring Tongrak to pity him and resigned to it simultaneously, like pity is a foregone conclusion. It tells me that Mut is used to being pitied. He says himself moments before this that Tongrak could ask anyone on the island for his story so I'm sure there's no shortage of people who do pity him.
Maybe that's why he reacts the way he does when the auntie praises him. Maybe for him it's rare to be praised for his successes without having it be qualified or run through the filter of his personal history.
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Even before Tongrak said a word in response, I knew what his answer was going to be. There's sympathy (and maybe even some empathy) in his expression. There's a sort of...I don't know how to describe it. Defiant kinship? that says, "why would I pity you?"
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He shakes his head and gives a firm, decisive no. He doesn't pity Mut. He may not say it, but his face says that he's very quickly growing to admire and respect the person Mut has made of himself.
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Of course he doesn't pity Mut. And hearing it makes Mut smile. A true, genuine smile that reaches his sparkly eyes and softens just a little bit when he says thank you.
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This conversation felt like such a big shift for them. I have no doubt they're going to continue to bicker and annoy each other and piss each other off but from here on I think and hope there's going to be an undercurrent of understanding to it.
Tongrak is open to learning more about Mut and although Tongrak isn't willing to reveal too much of himself yet, the desire to learn more is there on Mut's part, too. He's not gonna push though. He accepts Tongrak's answer of why he became a writer being only for the fun of it.
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And he does what no one else has before and praises Tongrak for it.
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Which Tongrak was not expecting at all because why would he when no one has ever complimented him before? For Mut to be the first means a lot, and so does the fact that Tongrak compliments him right back.
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Because I really do think that his compliment is coming from a place not only of respect, but from solidarity as well. We know that Tongrak doesn't want the people in the village to think badly of Mut for being affectionate with a man in public, and that moment also read very queer to me.
Queer people are like magnets and, in my experience at least, not only are we drawn to each other, we look out for each other. Tongrak doesn't give a damn what people think or say about him both because he's secure in who he is and because he's only a tourist, but Mut lives there. Despite his snark and snippiness, I don't think he wants Mut to have a hard time existing in his home.
Anyway! Those are just my few cents for this episode. This scene really stuck out to me and I wanted to talk about it because the whole time I was just:
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Fort and Peat did some beautifully subtle acting and I didn't want it to get lost in the horny shuffle.
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Ratfish Musings
Absoultely loved this 2-parter finale. Was initially sad to not see the survivor premise be an every finale thing, but how appropriate to the spirit of game changer to make different finales, based on different reality game shows they like. NGL had never even heard of the circle before, binged a few seasons of it while waiting for ratfish pt 2.
The original show is... all right, it's a bit stereotypical, but a nice enough experience. Based on dropout's take, however, I'm trying to organize making a game out of this on discord and it could be fun, this is something we as fans can pretty easily replicate for ourselves on social media, and a pretty good finale for the season.
Like with many others I'm seeing on here, I found the ratfish character to be the weak part of the episode. Dropout on the whole, and that drag show in the first ep of thousandaires, is *really* building up a brand of personality with it's extended cast. Who these people are, how they make each other laugh, and the memories they make together in the experiences these shows provide, really creates a fun, wholesome, and engaging experience that just keeps building on itself. I think this is where the magic of dropout content can be found and when building on it, it just keeps getting better, but this ratfish idea... didn't land. I even saw a post from what I presume to be a fan of this guy, who found how little he was used annoying and that, not seeing the cast's reaction to him at the end, felt like a disappointment, so I have to ask 'why was this guy chosen'? His dry, kind of uninterested vibe didn't really add much to the experience, the amount of power he had over the game felt a little off putting, and even people who do like him, probably felt his minimal presence was a waste of whatever they like about him, it's not like he got a chance to *Shine* here. With this as my only exposure to this guy he seems kinda boring. What was the intent with this? Why did he have so much influence on a game that *heavily* relied on this group of co-workers and friends reading each other through the bits? Also it feels like Rekha got *snubbed* Like not only did she manage to land everyone's identities *before the final round*, without a reward of any kind and in fact, ended up with 2nd place because despite her skill the *ratfish* arbitrarily picked Katie's art (love to katie, not her fault) but also in the talkback portion it never even got brought up. She mentioned it to brennan's face and no reaction. Solving the game entirely *before it's over* should have been a bigger deal.
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emositecc · 2 days
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God I fucking hate Victoria the crybaby so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every page she's in, every scene, every fanart, every comic, she's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass personality on her stupid green face. Absolutely no part of her ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. Her stupid fucking dress? Who the hell wears a dress like that. Her dumb fucking lizard tail? Her shitty, annoying bastard attitude ? The three thousand percent dumbass shitass fucking haircut that no woman has EVER FUCKING SHITTY HAIR DESING HAD IN THE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate her. I hate her so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a comic or a fanart of her, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Boo hoo, I'm Bitchtoria the fuckshit whiny ass woman, woe is me. PITY ME 😢😢😢😢". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like shrek but if shrek was written by vivziepop. Your dumb fucking hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking dress and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top shitty ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene she's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a walmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know she's just a shitty fucking sad woman in a stupid fucking fan comic, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate her. I hate hier on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the bitch wife is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate her so much. I hate her so, so fucking much. I want to light her ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat her to death with her own stupid fucking punchable face. I want to punch her to death. I want to bash her brains out. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that her existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional woman
you've gone on sending me these kinds of messages in my ask box everytime i've updated my comic, even mentioning r*pe in your latest ones. At first I thought this is a bit, but now i honestly dont know. I think you need help and for your own good and mine, I'm going to be blocking you.
This probably wont stop you from reading my comic in other platforms but if you still do, please refrain from messaging me or whatnot because I will just block you again.
okay, thank you.
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^ and that's not even ALL of it.
there's like 50+ more
get help.
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myrtles-and-blood · 2 days
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I wanted to talk for a minute about how I feel my feelings.
I'm a person who takes stuff intensely. I'm always ruminating on the same stuff, over and over again, consuming myself into the same anger, resentment, hate, anxiety and sadness spiral. I need to talk a lot about the same thing for ages for me to process it correctly. Of course, I can't talk about it, bc I come off as bad or annoying.
And somehow, all of those things are known to my deities. I feel like they know why I need to do that even when I don't know. When those situations come again, I picture their hands on my shoulder, just there for me. I don't know why I'm so angry, but they do, and they want to help.
However, I do feel like I need to hate people a little more for the bad stuff they do, or hate on situations for how awful they are. For me, hate is only bad when it consumes your life and those of the people around you. Feeling hate, anger, disgust and """bad feelings""" in general is pretty important, and it's good to feel them.
Working with Lucifer and Ares has taught me to feel my feelings, process and scream as much as needed for me to finally let go of the things that don't make any good in my life. And working with Aphrodite has taught me the same: to feel my feelings really hard and to express my love and my likes, because I deserve to take space.
I have always been taught to go small and be small, to not be noticed and to speak quietly. But
I WAS BORN SCREAMING AND I WILL DIE SCREAMING
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epickiya722 · 6 months
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This is too funny to me. I know, sounds "salty" but read this and tell me is there any good reason to do this. There isn't, none at all.
Hey, folks! Don't be this person...
In fact, if you're someone who does this, go ahead and unfollow me. I don't want people who like being trolls interacting with me.
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Don't be that person who hates on a ship and purposely tags it for the shippers to see. People like this will turn around and play "victim".
"But I'm just voicing my opinion 🥺".
No, you're just being a jerk and it's not cute. Being hostile towards shippers who haven't even giving you an ounce of attention before for no reason is not cool.
I don't know what's the deal with being mean and thinking it's quirky or whatever, but please stop.
"I tagged so they can see my thoughts."
Clear sign that they're bored and just want some attention because they have nothing better to do.
So why didn't you use the other ship's tag, too? They used the tag of a popular ship!
Again, for attention! Oh, you're definitely going to get but you won't like it.
I can already see what's going to happen. They're going to get several people to tell them off and eventually it will get overwhelming. It will suck, for sure. But to avoid that...
DON'T MAKE POST LIKE THIS.
If you hate a ship and post about it, properly tag it. Use the anti-tags, not the main ones.
Or just don't waste your time at all writing about a ship you don't like, I don't get that??? Like, you really have the energy to rant about a ship you don't like???
I get it if someone asks why you don't like a ship, feel free to rant about that! But to just do it on whim?
Don't you want to spend that time rambling about the ships you do like??
Also, come on now.
Bakudeku is a ship where the characters are the same age, aren't related in any way and their development has changed over time.
Comparing to an actual incestuous ship is beyoooond me. Tripping-tripping, for real.
When I say "funny" I mean that I find this highly annoying and it's gotten to the point that it's laughable because people still continue to do this.
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peniscat · 1 year
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ofcrossrcads · 2 months
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eggmeralda · 5 months
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I may have lost all hope
#it's a weird feeling?#like since late 2022 it's been kind of like. bad vibes consistently#and i tried to stay somewhat positive throughout it#but idk there's this very distinct feeling now of like. i can't describe it but it's completely gone#like I've actually got nothing to live for#nothing I've done or wanted to do since i was 14 has ever really like amounted to anything#all the friends i made i never feel like i can talk to#once again in that state of 'only alive so my family don't get sad'#like even when i wanted to just stop existing when i was 21 there was this tiny bit of hope still there a little bit#like i remember for that whole summer i kept getting quick thoughts about suicide but I'd always push them out of my mind instantly#but there was one day where i let the thought stay in my mind for a little bit and like properly considered how i would do it#and then after a bit i was like FUCK and then went and walked like an hour away from my house to try and forget it#and then after that day i slowly got better. and it was annoying bc it meant now i had to walk a whole hour back to my house#but even if those 2 months there was still this feeling of this isn't gonna last#bc i knew i was back at uni in a few months and at least i had music to listen to#and all the other times I've been in that state there was still this sort of feeling that it'll get better bc I've got things to get me#through it#but it doesn't feel like that now. like no job no friends no hyperfixation and now i can't even enjoy any music#anything i create is pointless bc only i care about it#all my friends are busy doing other stuff I'm like not even second best I'm the most forgettable person anyone might know#the only thing that would fix me is getting a random train to like some place I've never been#just to see a new thing i guess#but anyway#ramble#suicide mention
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bittersuitvs · 5 months
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#one of the most annoying parts of having bpd isn’t even part of the bpd itself but it's the stigma#and don’t get me wrong this shit is FUCKING HELL and very hard and embarrassing#but the way people think bpd is somehow the same thing as sociopathy or psychopathy is just like ??????????????#and the way even doctors are so sensationalist about it and it does affect your overall hope for how you're gonna be able to#idk navigate life with it. because they make it look like someone who has bpd#is just the worst most difficult and awful human being on earth#like everyone else isn't difficult everyone else doesn't struggle w emotions or relationships or abandonment#and the way they approach it truly makes you feel like you're damaged for life and you're broken and you're doomed#i could go on and on about how this is just upsetting and like sometimes when people learn that i have bpd they're surprised#because i keep a lot of things and feelings to myself because i don't want to be the stereotype#i'm venting but what i mean is that i think the stigma around bpd just makes everything harder#for instance i feel the need to be centred because otherwise i'll be perceived as a bpd stereotype#so i can't get angry i can't get upset i can't get sad i can't miss someone i can't need someone#i can't fear not having someone in my life anymore i can't fear being alone and so on#i have to be manageable and cool and nonchalant and complaisant all the time#sometimes i feel like i'm not allowed to be a person BECAUSE i have bpd#but yeah i'm yet to learn to not give a shit about how people perceive me but there are days that this is harder than others
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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You know, I think my thing about liking “asshole Megatron” more than “good Megatron” (speaking in terms of IDW1) isn’t just the fact that I find evil Megatron more entertaining and sexy, but that I suppose I don’t like the way good guy/Autobot Megatron’s personality is?
Like mmmm I’m not trying to be one of those people who goes “he’s OOC!” or “he’s such a wimp!” or “he’s evil and doesn’t deserve to be redeemed,” but there was just something slightly grating about the way Megatron is/acts in MTMTE/LL. If I had to pick a word for it, he just seems very... self-pitying? Ratchet said it perfectly while the DJD were attacking and he told Megatron “Oh of course it’s all about you, what a surprise.”
There’s something about Autobot Megatron that makes me hate him as a person, not like in a “haha what a pathetic bastard” way the way I see villain Megatron, but in a way that’s like “god you are so fucking stuck up and annoying” in a non-enjoyable way. Maybe it’s because Autobot Megatron was a last minute plot change and I’m sensing how JRO “forced” Megatron to be part of the narrative last minute? But that would just be a matter of shoddy writing, and MTMTE/LL aren’t shoddily written.
It’s presumptuous to try and assume the motivation of an author, but I guess it kind of feels like JRO was trying so hard to make Megatron a better person that it backfired and made him more unlikeable in my eyes. Like, Megatron’s dialogue about how if he goes back towards violence he’ll never come back out again because the guilt will be too much is poetic yeah, it’s a very cute notion, but the context is that the fucking DJD (who Megatron made) is attacking and killing members of the Lost Light (who Megatron is in charge of) and was it supposed to make me think of Megatron as noble or pitiable or something? Because instead it just pissed me off and made me want to scream “this isn’t fucking about you Megatron, stop being an angsty mope and DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE instead of crying about how hard it is for you to not enjoy killing people.”
It’s fucking weird because I of course love the concept of redeemable Megatron, and I’m fascinated with the way in which he adopted violence as a coping mechanism for trauma, but the way he’s written in MTMTE/LL just makes him seem more like he’s a self-justifying asshole trying to make pitiable attempts at good deeds than like he’s actually improving as a person. Which of course is a problem caused by the fact that JRO shoved him into the plot last minute and it didn’t actually make sense for Megatron to be on the Lost Light.
#squiggposting#negativity#like deadass i don't get how so many people loooooove mtmte megs because like yeah there are really good moments#but as a person megatron is so annoying and self righteous and kind of whiney and is basically pointless to the plot to begin with#if you took him out of mtmte/ll i don't think the NARRATIVE AS A WHOLE would have lost anything worth keeping#like idk i'm trying really hard to avoid punitive and judgmental language when talking about meg/atron but just#he really really really annoys me the way he acts and how the fandom thinks that he's so precious and sad and such a good person#yeah he's less of a piece of shit than he used to be but he's still kind of a POS lol#he's so out of place in the narrative that JRO had to invent an entire alternate universe just to give him something heroic to do#meg/atron didn't even make reparations in the universe he fucked up#he just got an alternate universe made just for him for him to save instead#that's not justice that's not redemption that's not him compensating for what he did#CONCEPTUALLY YES redeemed megs is good#JRO did indeed do a lot to flesh out megs as a person#but overall he's like so fucking annoying actually and i feel like he's actually so fucking pathetic as an autobot#but everyone else seems to think he's a precious bb who tried so hard and is such a good person now#there are whole armies of meg stans who try to act like he did nothing wrong and he's god's gift to cybertron/the plot#he's really not BUT when i look at the plot of mtmte/ll i say to myself#'i see exactly why the fandom stans see megs the way they do'#because the whole story after megs comes in has this vibe of making excuses for him and trying to soften him#giving him superficial moments and forced plotlines that make him the hero of an entire alternate universe#THE UNIVERSE LITERALLY REVOLVES AROUND WHETHER MEGA EXISTS OR NOT#sure megs is punished in universe by people hating him and going off to be executed at the end#but in terms of structure and aborted plot lines (looking at you mutiny arc) the story bends to soften mega/tron and give him every chance#and it just feels.... cheap#it's one of those things where if i ignore my opinion i can enjoy the story i'm given#but if i look at it with a critical eye i'm like 'this isn't actually Pure Perfection Incarnate and actually kind of annoys me'
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i have no idea why my french teacher kept on saying I look sad today in class, I was just tired 🧍🏽‍♀️
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heavierthanlaila · 10 months
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allah surely is the most merciful and he truly does listen to your duaas and he indeed answers all of them.
#i literally made duaa few days ago and said ya allah if this person is bad for me or if this relationship is making you angry with me pls#take him out of my life#(i was only talking to this guy to know him better for the sake of marriage)#and LITERALLY the next day this dude out of nowhere decided to be super passive aggressive because of something very minor#so i confront him and express my feelings clearly and calmly but get a little mean at the end and his reaction is why are you being mean lol#so i explained why and he was like even if let's say i was mean why would you be mean to me in return???#LMAOOO#like...#so i said so you get to be passive-aggressive and give me the silent treatment and i dont even get to protest in a harsh tone?????#but i didnt argue i just said i really thought you were better than this and that was that#he left just as quickly as he came into my life#the funny thing tho was when he said that he doesn't like it when i use “big words” like manipulation and passive-aggressive#like so he even wants to dictate how i express myself let alone be angry that he crossed my boundaries and was doing something i found annoy#honestly egyptian/arab men are indeed something else#I'm just sad that i let him disturb my peace tbh#I'm glad it's over because I dont have time for some elementary school kid trapped in a 29 year old body#he even made me seriously question myself like if i was that rude or that inconsiderate but honestly it was just him being too insecure#alhamdulilah he is out of my life#I'm so grateful that allah is my wakeel because he surely won't let me down
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icharchivist · 2 years
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it’s funny when i was a teen i was not following mainstream stuff because i was deep into ~i’m not like the other teens~ (and just liked stuff that weren’t mainstream anyway) but nowadays my biggest argument to not follow mainstream is that we turned every big things into pure FOMO where if you don’t watch something big right away you will know everything about it in the couple of months that follow and it will suck any enjoyement out of it if you decide to watch it later and it’s honestly pretty depressing.
#and i don't mean like knowing vague spoilers#i'm going to watch the new Thor for a bonding activity#i don't really care about Marvel and skipped all of phase 3 and half of phase 2 and 4#but it became a bonding activity to watch the newest  movies even though i have very little interest#i figured i should at least watch the 3rd Thor that i skipped in case i needed it and all#and i remember reading some interesting takes about it#but it was legitimately depressing to just have the feeling i've seen every single thing in gifset#there was genuinely nothing that i thought 'oh i didnt see that before'#the movie is objectively okay with better themes and directing than most mcumovies#and i came out of it underwhelmed because i saw all of it before#and idk it's sad as hell#i've also been feeling it for like. TV shows i am just midly interested in that i'm forced to bing on release date#like holy shit this is not the type of emotional involvement i want with those shows they're not engaging enough for this#(at least to me personally it doesn't talk about quality because the stuff i love the most qualify as trashy)#and it genuinely annoys me that i have to pour the same energy into mainstream stuff i only slightly care about#than i would pour into stuff i truly love#like when the new S/tranger t/hing season came out at the same time i wanted to follow up the last update in one of my mobage#i'm mostly following mindlessly and i don't care enough about it esp not how ppl talk about it online#but i had to postpone something i really wanted to read bc i was already seeing major spoilers online#and i think it's a shame that a show based on suspense get its spoilers everywhere on day One#i've spent yeas fighting the edgelord in me always saying i didn't care about mainstream just because i don't 'care for normies'#but now i'm circling back to it on the account of 'it makes social media unbearable and makes it sounds like homework and it sucks'#so yeah pretty sad i'm becoming an edgelord again that's it#ichasalty#ichatalks
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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good evening i have rambled so much lately
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aftermathing · 1 year
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#I think I might be a sociopath. Like genuinely.#Or is it just the autism:(#One time I was like 'i am sad that everyone seems to enjoy me but no one ever wants to be my friend or want me around outside of required#hours like class or work or whatever'#And the person replied 'that's just being autistic' like thanks. Glad to know no one will ever like me or want to be my friend#Ever. Because of a thing in my brain that I cannot control and do not understand#Nothing ever feels good for longer than two minutes and I have never had more than one friend at any given time#I have only ever had acquaintances ie people I know but would never interact w me outside of class or work#Even if we were entirely compatible people#My college freshman cousin has a 30+ ppl friend group like#Like I am fun and bubbly and always joking and laughing irl!!! Is it too much?????? Do I unsettle people? Am i annoying? Is it the autism?#Am I just an idiot. Am I not classifying 'friend' right.#Man I need help and no one has helped me even when I begged for it :(#When you text your friend 'i am about to commit suicide can I please come over' you're supposed to be allowed over right#Or when you say 'yeah I don't know if you understood that text that night I told you that because I was about to commit suicide'#They're supposed to help you then right#I didn't say it in such aggressive terms but fucking god#At least the disappointment of not getting a text back pulls me out of my anguish at having a shitty brain and a sucky life#I FANTASIZE about being asked if I'm okay!!! I make up scenarios where someone asks how I'm doing and means it!!! That's not normal!!!!#Please care about me I know it's a lot to ask#Do NOT send me an ask saying 'r u ok' like that one time like two years ago that made me feel worse thanks.#You care so much you can't even add two more letters to make even one complete word even that is wasted effort when it comes to me :((#God it sucks so much having never been loved or wanted in any capacity#Is friendship even a real thing that exists. Do people actually like and want each other around. Do people hug. Is that real.
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