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#I'm not saying it's a perfect country I don't live there but my time there was very good and I met a lot of kind people
hwanchaesong · 21 hours
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Quintessence (Forbidden Love) Preview
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pairing: Sunghoon X F!Reader
synopsis: He was a king, you were a queen. A perfect match? No. Not when the heavens and earth collide within him. When that happens, are you ready to stand in between the stars and dust to stay by his side?
word count: tba
genre & warnings: angst, smut, fluff, lowkey (?) inspired by Queen Charlotte, warnings tba
a/n: this is a teaser for the upcoming Enhypen: Tropes & Parallels series that i've been working on. i hope y'all look forward to it. please don't hesitate to tell me if you wanted to be added to the taglist. tysm 🩷
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"I said, leave! I don't want to see you here! I don't want you near me!" Sunghoon yells, slamming his hands down the table, turning to you with his eyes ablazed as he points towards the door.
He stays rooted on the wooden floor when you shook your head, fire raging within your veins as well as you proved your will to him.
"I will not be going anywhere, Sunghoon." you fought back, the clacking of your heels thumping through his brain.
"Did you not heard or understand what I said?!" his booming voice echoed around the observatory, one would think that he's angry. But you know him well enough to recognize the hint of desperation, the laced sadness and disappointment in his tone.
You know him well enough to understand that he says the most absurd things out there whenever he's building a wall around him.. a wall that will shield you from his insanity.
"I heard you loud and clear, Sunghoon." you replied, voice unyielding while your gaze is trained on him and only him. "You told me to leave. That you don't wan't to see me. That you don't want me near you. What I have not heard is that you don't love me." you matched his roaring volume, not caring about the servants outside the building that might hear the commotion.
Sunghoon held a hand up, a silent order for you to cease your steps towards him, "Please, Y/N, listen to me for once."
"I have listened to you, your family, your mother, the whole nation the whole time!" you bellowed, coming face to face with him and swatting his hand away, you stare right into his eyes, challenging him into a duel.
"This time, it is you who should listen to me. Sunghoon, do you love me?" you inquired, your hands shaking, tears making your eyes glossy but you wouldn't back off now.
"You are a mere vessel for the next king, know your place. A foreign human like you isn't suitable for His Majesty, be grateful enough that you were graced with a royal bloodline in your country."
"Y/N, don't do this. I beg of you." Sunghoon rubbed his face in frustration, he doesn't want to fight with you. He doesn't want to face you like this.
"Sunghoon! I won't do thi-, I'll leave right now if you answer my question. I'll live alone, I won't bother you. I'll make the most of what I have to get by in the Decelis Palace only if you tell me what I'm asking for. Do you love me?!"
The way your voice broke in the middle of your sentence was what got to him.
He was fixing himself for you. He doesn't want to hurt you. He wanted to be with you when he's sure that he can protect you, take care of you. He'll go to you when he's sure that he can be the man that deserve you the most.
But you break him, shatter him like a bullet and the small rope that he's hanging on to was severed in half.
Sunghoon seethed, shouting at the top of his lungs, "I love you!"
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@lilyuwon @ramenoil
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cerastes · 1 year
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Another thing that bothers me, and this is on a General About Japan level, is how the same people that seem to always complain about there being, I don’t know, whatever their fucking alt-right pipeline has fed them in their easily digestible grub, such as there being piss fountains or panty vending machines or any of the other Literally Exists In Like One Place Just Like Some Real Suspect Stuff Also Exists In Specialty Shops In Every Other Country, never seem to bring up the absolute service Japan has for people with disabilities.
I’m not an expert and also not a resident of Japan, but in my time there as a tourist (1 month), I noticed that every single elevator had a both a loud, noticeable sound cue, a secondary call button at wheelchair-bound person height, and an actual person nearby. Every street in Tokyo and Osaka, and most at Kyoto, had those grooves on the floor for blind people to follow. Every traffic light had a loud, clear audio cue to when it was green (well, blue in Japan’s case).
I’m from the third world so seeing this level of infrastructure blew my mind, but I never hear anyone talk about it. But haha Shinzo Abe baby propaganda in anime, am I right?
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satuguro · 1 year
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⠀⠀ ⠀ཾ ༚ 20/20 VISION
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lalala! ethan landry x okokok! reader
#SYNOPSIS— based off of see you again by tyler the creater & kali uchis; you have no gag reflex, ethan tells a sex joke, and ethan takes a leap of faith.
#CONTAINS— best friends to lovers, mutual pining, jealousy, emetophobia, fluff
#AUTHORSNOTE— i've been wanting to write fluff lately so.. here you go xx
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your unofficial designated spot in the carpenter sisters' apartment was their armchair in their living room.
you had a list of reasons why; one, it meant more space. you could stretch your legs, not worry about feeling someone's feet near your legs, and you could have your own blanket. all somewhat selfish reasons, but you loved your space. two, it had the perfect angle towards the t.v. that gave you the best spot in the living room to watch it without worrying about discomfort.
which was why you would've been mildly perturbed that someone was standing between you and the t.v. the only difference was that it wasn't just someone; it was someone who rambled too often, who had no sense of personal space while also being hyper aware of it, and who was a flurry of random facts (which wouldn't help him at all, unless someone held a gun to his head and told him to name and point at every country’s capital in the world).
"i've done it," ethan announced to you, his signature toothy smile seemingly more victorious as he looked down at where you were snuggled up on the couch. his well manicured nails (he asked you to do them once, and who were you to deny your best friend?) held his laptop, the screen facing his chest.
"aren't you supposed to be studying?" you asked him with a small tilt of your head, glancing at where the rest of the group was. finals week was beating everyone up, and you could briefly see mindy and chad chugging a redbull at the same time while tara timed them, before you turned back to your best friend.
"i gave up."
"you need to study."
"you gave up, too!" ethan looked down at the huge blanket that you hogged for yourself, not even thinking twice before he was climbing in next to you.
"ow— ethan!" you groaned, feeling him step on your leg.
"'scuse me!" ethan forced himself under the blanket you were snuggled under, making you share your beloved armchair with him before he sighed contentedly. "this is comfortable! maybe i should share this seat with you more often!" he said with a bright grin, making you sigh reluctantly. "i mean if you don't want to then it's fine too!" ethan added hurriedly with wide eyes.
"i was just saying that i wouldn't mind sharing with you because usually you sit alone— which i know you prefer, you've told me so many times and i get it! i really do! but i wouldn't mind sitting with you to keep you company because i really like being with you— around you. your presence. yeah, that." ethan rambled, finishing his string of words with a sheepish smile, cheeks flaring a bit red. "i'm sorry for rambling." he added quietly.
your usually tired eyes softened at that. he had always been insecure of how much he talked, you knew that better than anyone. "i've told you before, e, i don't mind. i like listening to you," you hummed, a downturned smile on your lips. "i like your presence too. and i guess i don't mind sharing my seat with you."
ethan's cheeks flared red at your casual words. you had a way of speaking so calmly, as though all your words were chosen well. in a way, he was a bit jealous.
"you had something to tell me, yeah?" you asked him softly, bringing him back on track.
"oh, right!" ethan showed you his laptop, setting it up on your legs. it was a notion list, color coordinated and everything, with an entire list of shows and movies you remember only briefly mentioning to him. "i made this list—"
"just now? instead of studying?"
"yes! so basically, it has a section where we can rate it after we watch it, and it's all organized by what we want to watch the most and what we need to finish!" ethan scrolled down the list, practically buzzing with excitement (and the cold brew he drank earlier).
"see? i know that i have a whole essay to do but i can do it later—" ethan said, waving it off with his hand. "because i know you said you would do it but i got impatient and did it instead! and look—" he showed you the wide variety of colors for every row. "they're color coordinated! and here's how i think the rating system should go—"
you had watched ethan talk the entire time he rambled, your usually tired and indifferent eyes softening when you listened to him speak. he talked fast— too fast for some people, but you liked that about him—but the way he rambled showed how passionate he was about different topics, because ethan only rambled when he cared.
it showed how much he appreciated what he was talking about. and ever time his cadence picked up and his words became jumbled and he began interrupting himself, you could see how ethan's brown eyes would shine with excitement. you could see how he began incorporating his hands to his words, how his lips tilted up when he talked.
you were so engrossed in ethan's explanation of the movie and t.v. show list that you failed to notice your friends staring at you from the dining table.
"they are disgustingly cute," tara said with a sigh.
"and disgustingly oblivious," mindy grumbled, clicking her pen over and over. "with how smart the both of them are, i'm surprised they haven't picked up on the clues." she turned to chad, who was sulking after losing the redbull chugging competition against her. "have you asked ethan about it yet? you're our in on this, chad!"
chad groaned as mindy nudged him with her shoulder. "i did. he didn't even respond. it's crazy how he can avoid conversations, you know."
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you didn't like parties. not as much as your friends did— you were usually the designated driver or the friend that was always sober enough to take care of their friends, which you didn't mind. it was the socializing part that you minded.
you socialized okay, but you often just ended up listening to other people rather than talking. listening was more your style, but you were only a little awkward when it came to talking to complete (and possibly intoxicated) strangers at parties. you stuck with your group of friends and very rarely strayed away.
but ethan was the designated sober friend this time around, so maybe that would change.
three loud knocks to your dorm room made you go and open it, coming eye to eye with ethan. "you're walking me there?" you asked with a knowing smile, making the boy nod eagerly.
"yup! chad's walking with tara and mindy's going with anika, so that leaves you and me." ethan grinned at you teasingly. "why, you're getting tired of me already?"
"no," you hummed, closing your dorm room behind you as the both of you began to walk down the hall. "you're really not drinking tonight, huh?"
"nope!" ethan replied, popping the 'p'. "after i threw up all over sam that one time we drank at the apartment, and then i threw up on you right after, i told myself that i'd hold back on it."
you wrinkled your nose at the memory. "how responsible of you."
"i know, right?" ethan said with a proud smile. "but because i threw up on you that time, i give you full permission to throw up on me this time."
"i'm not gonna be that drunk."
that was a lie.
to say that your friends were shocked to see you become a more extraverted person after drinking would be an understatement. they were used to you observing the group and contributing to conversations with sarcastic comments, dry humor, and dark jokes that are often made much too soon. so to see you take a shot with tara and squeal happily with her (true friend solidarity; she was as drunk as you were) was completely out of the ordinary.
"i'm gonna go find chad!" tara yelled over the music, making you nod happily and watch her leave. adrenaline and excitement began to thrum through your body stronger, and your first thought was to share it with your favorite person. you began to walk around, searching for ethan, before you bumped into a chest.
"oh, shit! i'm so sorry," the guy laughed, making you send him an apologetic smile.
"it's okay!" you said, taking in his black hair and his brown eyes (that only reminded you of ethan). "i'm y/n!"
the guy smiled at you, offering his hand out. "jaden!" he seemed to be as intoxicated as you were, his steps wobbling slightly as you shook his hand. "do you, uh, wanna dance?"
"hey, where's y/n?" ethan asked tara as she passed him, making her look back towards the drinks table.
"she should just be around where the drinks are.." tara's voice trailed off when her eyes landed on you not too far away. your arms were around a guy's neck— was that jaden from her philosophy lecture? —as you swayed with him to the music. you seemed to be having a good time, the alcohol making you lighthearted as you sang with whatever song was playing through the speakers. "there she is!"
when ethan saw you, his heart fell. you looked so beautiful under the multicolored lights, your hair perfectly styled and your clothes fitting you perfectly as you danced with someone who wasn't him. your smile— your genuine one, ethan noted with his chest aching, the one that made your eyes crinkle and your smile lopsided —was pointed towards someone who wasn't him.
jealousy brewed in his chest along with the heartache, ethan's jaw clenching as he stared at you and the random guy. but he didn't step in. he didn't pull you away and declare his feelings for you, because at the end of the night, you were happy. content as you danced with someone who wasn't ethan at all.
chad came up next to tara, his arm over her shoulders as he steadied her. "hey man, where's y/n?" he asked, still fairly sober than everyone as he had only taken one shot.
"she's doing fine," ethan said, his voice monotone as he continued staring at you. it was unfair how beautiful you looked while you unknowingly broke his heart with every laugh and every flirtatious smile you sent towards your dance partner.
"what?" chad looked in the direction ethan was staring, his face falling when he saw you and jaden. easily connecting the dots, he looked at ethan empathetically. "fuck. dude, i'm sorry."
"it's okay, really," ethan said with a tight lipped smile. but he couldn't keep his eyes off of you and him, the fact that you looked so happy pulling at his chest because he wanted you to be happy with him. he wanted you to look at him the way you looked at that random stranger.
and finally, as you did a twirl into jaden’s arms, you made eye contact with ethan. oblivious to the way his jaw clenched and his eyes lost the spark they usually had, you gently pulled yourself out of jaden's arms. your steps were wobbly, and you nearly crashed into ethan's chest when you finally walked up to him. ethan's arms went to steady you easily.
"ethan, i feel like throwing up," you murmured, and ethan nodded in understanding, worry taking over his jealousy.
"okay, let's get you to the bathroom, okay?" ethan said softly, pulling you close to him as he guided you to the bathroom. he knocked on the door, thankful no one responded, before he opened it for you. he locked the door behind the both of you as you made a beeline for the toilet, grabbing the side of it as you readied yourself to throw up.
but nothing came out.
“go on!” ethan encouraged you, motioning to the toilet. but instead, you looked up at him warily.
“do i have to?”
“yes?” ethan gaped at you, motioning to the toilet again. “just go ahead! nothing to fear!”
“i don’t want to.”
“c’mon, y/n, why not?” ethan whined, making you groan as you stopped yourself from throwing up yet again.
“i have emetophobia, asshole,” you muttered, gently pushing his arm. “fear of throwing up? and,” you messily pushed some of your hair away from your face. “i have no gag reflex.”
“what the hell?” ethan crinkled his nose, blushing furiously as he looked at you in shock. you were honest, sure but never this honest. “i could’ve gone my whole life without knowing that.”
“are you sure?”
“what?” ethan said quickly, eyes wider than ever as he stared at you as you snorted in amusement. “you’re kidding.”
“maybe.”
“maybe?” he swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes and pinching his nose bridge. “oh god, you definitely have to throw up now.”
“watch this.” you took two of your fingers and stuffed them all the way to the back of your throat, smiling triumphantly as you showed ethan your lack of a gag reflex.
ethan could only watch in horror and exasperation. “y/n, i didn’t need proof. i already believed you.” he took some squares of toilet paper before offering it to you.
“i told you so,” you hummed, pulling your saliva covered finger out of your mouth and wiping them on the toilet paper. there was a beat of silence before ethan coughed, his cheeks and ears still burning red.
“can i make a joke?”
“of course you can.”
“it’s a, uh,” ethan cleared his throat, avoiding your intent gaze, “sex joke.”
“even better.” you situated yourself next to the toilet, still very much feeling like you were gonna hurl at any given moment.
ethan sat next to you, clearing his throat again. “i know one way we can test your gag reflex,” he stated, almost ashamed at his own joke.
you chuckled at that, the horrible joke making a you sway a bit with laughter before the sudden motion sickness got to you. without another word, you threw up into the toilet. all thanks to ethan’s horrible sex joke.
he immediately reached over to move some of your hair. you continued retching into the toilet, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "i hate drinking," you grumbled as you laid your forehead on your arm, eyes watery from throwing up. immediately as you got the words out, you threw up again.
"i know, i know.. but i know you're gonna end up drinking again," ethan teased softly, making your back heave as you managed a laugh, only for it to be interrupted by you throwing up again. "it's okay, let it all out." he couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. “i can’t believe a sex joke made you throw up.”
and you almost laughed again if you didn’t throw up even more.
the sound of the party died into the background as ethan sat next to you on the ground. your head was laying on your arm, which was on the toilet seat. you were still intoxicated, and the world was still spinning, but you could see the obvious turmoil on ethan's face. you poked his arm. "what's wrong?"
"what?" ethan said, snapping out of his daze to send you a tight lipped smile. "nothing's wrong."
"liar."
"i'm not!"
"i know you better than that, e," you murmured, half lidded eyes staring at him. you had thrown up most of your alcohol, and while you were still inebriated, you felt a lot more clear headed than earlier. “what's wrong?"
ethan looked at you, eyes flashing with hurt as he pictured you again dancing with someone else. "do you really want to know?" he asked you, and you nodded. even while drunk, you opted to listen.
"you looked beautiful when you were dancing," ethan began, managing a soft smile, "i don't think i've ever seen you like that. it's not a bad thing or a good thing, but it's a new thing, y'know?" he sighed. "you dance really well, i'm surprised you haven't told me," a genuine smile appeared on his face when he heard you laugh quietly. "and your laugh.. i swear i would listen to it over whatever horrible music is playing right now."
ethan looked at you, taking in your obviously roughed up and intoxicated form. but somehow, even with slightly messy hair and most of your make-up rubbed off and with your breath smelling only a little bit like puke, you still looked beautiful. it was enough to make someone who talked as much as him to go quiet in awe.
"but when you laughed, and when you smiled,” ethan said slowly, taking in heavy breaths with every word. fear thrummed through his body, mingling with the nervousness as he twiddled with his fingers anxiously. to continue on would be to admit everything. to admit how he felt, the thoughts he had been having about you, everything. and to admit it to you would be to risk losing a friendship and one of the most important people in his life.
“.. you weren’t smiling or laughing at me. and i hated that.”
confusion spread over your face before realization hit your eyes. “oh.” and oh, it suddenly all made sense. why ethan was so bothered, why you were so willing to listen to one person speak for forever as long as it was them, why even as you danced with another, something was off because he wasn’t ethan. he wasn’t your best friend.
“you don’t have to say anything,” ethan mumbled, completely misinterpreting your realization for rejection. his eyes watered slightly as he avoided your gaze. “it’s been going on for a while now, and i get it if you don’t feel the same! i really do, it’s just,” he sighed shakily, “i don’t want to lose you—”
“ethan—”
“i was completely willing to just shut up about how i felt as long as that meant i could still have you in my life, y/n,” ethan said, looking into your eyes earnestly. “and i thought i could keep it under wraps but i have to tell you at least once because—”
“i love you.”
“what?” ethan blinked, making you smile, your head still resting on your arm.
“i love you, ethan.”
a toothy smile spread over his face at that, his shoulders relaxing as he searched your face for any doubt. “are you— are you sure?”
“i wouldn’t say it if i wasn’t,” you murmured softly as you raised your head, making ethan laugh in relief.
“holy shit— i love you too.” ethan said, leaning forward, only for you to stop him.
“e, i might throw up on you if you kiss me.”
“do you think i care?”
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I was born and raised American, but with everything that's happened over the past few years I've been considering moving to another country. but I don't know if this is just "the grass is greener". Not sure if this really fits with your blog, but as someone from Europe what's your attitude towards living in the US?
I've visited there a handful of times and most of my thoughts are "damn bitch, y'all really live like this?" People in Finland like to complain about the climate, the taxes, and how stingy the welfare systems are (if you currently rely on them) or how costly they are (if you're currently not relying on them), but honestly most of the time that's because people are used to having it so good, or don't really have a perspective of how bad everyone would be doing without the infrastructure that everything runs on.
Sure, nowhere is perfect, and there's always room for improvement, but honestly the people I've met in the US only really seem to think that their system is good because they've never been anywhere else and don't know any better.
Mostly it's stuff that you'd never think about if you hadn't been to both places, like being able to trust that tap water is drinkable or that you can safely walk/bike to wherever you need to go. The US really doesn't have the kind of ability to just hang out in public places, just walking to the town and sitting on benches. Having public parks and libraries isn't really the same if you can't just walk there, and you genuinely need a car to go anywhere.
I moan and lament a lot about how the winters here are hard to endure - at the darkest time of the year the sun rises at 9 and sets before 5 pm - but I wouldn't move from here just because of that, mainly because of how reliably everything is structured here. Sure, it's all run with funds from relatively high taxes, but that is a self-feeding loop on its own. The tax-paying workforce isn't a disposable resource that's wrung dry once and tossed out when it's broken, but even when you're just another cog in the machine, you're one that's maintained, not replaced if broken.
I had a lot of breakdowns when I was younger, largely due to depression and other mental issues I had due to the undiagnosed ADHD. When I started breaking down at work in my old factory job, they couldn't just fire me on the spot because of the workers' union fought tooth and nail to make sure that you can't throw people out for getting sick, and mental illness is treated no different from other health issues. I was allowed to take two years off work in order to study into a career I thought would fit me better. That didn't turn out well either, but I was still allowed to bounce back and forth between odd jobs, sick leave, and studying - all on government pensions during the spots when I wasn't working a wage - until I found the right diagnosis, the right medications, and the right job.
It's not a hyperbole to say that I owe my life to the ample and studry social welfare systems that Finland has in place. Sure, you're just another brick in the wall, a cog in the machine, but if you keep breaking down, it takes a long time until they completely give up on you if you can somehow make them believe that you're trying, because it's cheaper for the tax system to figure out how to make you fit into the machine than just toss you out. A human being is an expensive investment and if getting you to the right job, education, diagnosis, medication or even arranged housing is what it takes to get your ass back into the workforce, they'll at least try.
I'm perfectly happy to pay the taxes here to fund the system that helped me onto my feet when I was in no condition to function, and to support the people who never do recover, find their place, or be able to support themselves on their own. And I can live with the peace of mind that even if I fall apart again, that safety net is still there. It's brutal, pragmatic, and regards your health and welfare as a means to an end - to get you working and paying taxes again - but they still do prioritise your welfare. Cogs are cheaper to maintain than replace.
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neptuneiris · 7 months
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sparks (01/04)
My heart is yours It's you that I hold on to
pairing: business-boyfriend!aemond x fem!reader
summary: at the beginning your relationship with aemond is perfect and there were no worries. until he becomes the Heir of his father's company, the most important in the whole country and certain events and certain people start to interfere in the relationship.
word count: 8.6k
next part • series masterlist
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AHHH here is another story!
I'm really excited for this one especially since it's angst but in a modern world, which I haven't done since cardigan and gosh what I have prepared for this, you're going to like it a lot or that's what I hope haha.
I look forward to your comments excited, I love responding to each one of them, thank you for your support and for reading, you are amazing beautiful people, enjoy!
warnings: pure angst
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You're losing him.
You say to yourself as you read the messages from your boyfriend, Aemond.
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You stare emotionlessly at your phone screen for a few more moments as you bite the inside of your cheek, beginning to feel a sharp pain in your chest and disappointment coursing through your body.
With a defeated gesture, you turn off the screen and head to your room, starting to take off your makeup, hairstyle and also the beautiful black dress that you were so excited for Aemond to see you wearing.
You resist the urge to cry at all times, especially when you remove your makeup and look at yourself in the mirror, biting your lips and telling yourself that this is no big deal, that you shouldn't cry.
You know it's not his fault, you know he has work and that keeps him very busy, but it's not the first time this has happened.
Days before he proposes the idea of going to dinner, just you and him, to one of those fine restaurants downtown, telling you he wants to enjoy a luxurious dinner with you, making you get excited and start planning what you will wear and how you will do your makeup and hair.
And when the day comes… his work prevents him from leaving the company building and consumes more of his time.
You understand the great responsibility he carries on his back being the heir to his father's important company, preparing at twenty-three years old to become the next big head and boss by the time comes, but you never thought you would have to spend less time with him every day.
Aemond a year ago graduated with a degree in business management and as soon as he received his college degree, he started working with his father.
You met him because you both have friends in common at the same university even though you study marketing and are a year younger, yet your friends would ask you out to clubs or for drinks and Aemond would join in.
That's when the two of you started talking and getting to know each other better. And as a result of that, eventually he and you started hanging out together until you formalized everything by being in a relationship.
Not too long after that, the two of you decided to live together in an apartment near the university, which you could afford because Aemond has always belonged to a rich family and also because of your half-time job at a coffee shop.
But when Aemond graduated and started working with his father, the whole relationship slowly began to change.
You only talk when he comes home late, asking you how was your day, what did you do and you also ask the same to him, realizing that there is no day where Aemond does not go through stress.
Now you see him less time, in the evening he comes back and you don't even talk much as he feels exhausted, so he takes a shower and goes to sleep.
There are no more times where you go out to the movies, to a fast food restaurant, bowling, for drinks with friends, not even watching movies at home or eating together, be it breakfast, lunch, dinner, nothing.
Even in his days off, he is working in his home office, taking calls and so on, while you miraculously wait for him to have a little break and talk to you, but again... nothing.
That's why right now you don't want to get angry with him, because you know it's not his fault, but still... you can't resist it anymore and the first tears fall down your cheeks and low sobs escape from your throat.
You want to reassure yourself, thinking that you shouldn't cry over this, that it's not that big of a deal, but you can't stop, the tears keep coming and your sobs are the only thing that can be heard all over the room, crying louder at the thought of how much you miss him.
You continue to remove everything from your face in tears, even the hairstyle that took you hours, and then you calm down and put on your sleeping clothes.
You leave your beautiful dress on your comfortable sofa next to the window, deciding to put it properly back in your closet tomorrow, not having any more courage for this day, wanting to lie down on your bed, sleep and nothing else.
You feel sleep take you and you sink into deep darkness, resting. Then you don't know exactly how much time has passed, but a sound makes you slowly open your eyes.
You hear him start to walk softly around the room, trying not to make too much noise, feeling his gaze on you for a few moments.
You hear perfectly the sound of the door to the room and then footsteps entering.
"Love? Are you asleep?"
You hear him ask you in his low but audible and attentive enough tone, but you don't say or do anything to him.
Aemond lets out a long breath as he sees that you are asleep, feeling very tired and just as disappointed as you are, to start taking off his clothes and heading to take a shower.
You continue to lie still, turning your back to him, still pretending to sleep when you know you shouldn't but... you don't want to talk to him about what happened tonight, you don't feel in the mood.
You're tired, disappointed and don't want to get upset with him when it's not his fault, but you won't be able to help it.
And when he returns to the room already with his sleeping clothes on, about to lie down next to you, he briefly inspects the room and feels a pain in his chest when he sees two of your makeup removal towels on your vanity full of it, causing him pity.
It doesn't really take him long even though all the time he thinks about you and how disappointed you must have been, also how sad you must have felt.
But you never bother with him and that's what makes him more frustrated as he fails you once again because you understand him, you always do.
Also when he sees the black dress on the couch, he feels terrible.
Finally he turns his attention to you in bed, turning off the bathroom light and lying down next to you, instantly hugging you gently from behind so as not to wake you up and leaves a soft, tender kiss on your shoulder and others in your hair.
You still continue to pretend, enjoying his touch for a moment, but you again hold back the urge to cry all the time, feeling so good but not enough, as before.
Then Aemond drops his head on the pillow, covers himself with the sheets and finally he is carried away by the sleep, still hugging you.
You bite the inside of your cheek throughout, trying to control yourself so as not to get his attention when you've been doing so well and you close your eyes, wanting to go back to sleep
Yet there in the dark, in the place of you and Aemond, with his arm around you and holding you against him, feeling his soft breath at the base of your neck, you can't help but wonder: what if he's losing me?
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You let out a long breath as you finally dare to walk through the huge doors of the big and tall building where Aemond works.
You have been here many times before, this is nothing new to you, however you feel anxious and a bit nervous as you have decided to come here without telling him before.
So you don't know if he is busy in the middle of a meeting or if he is in his office with a pile of papers around.
You are allowed free passage as most of the people here know you for being his girlfriend, so you don't really have any problems and say hello to all the receptionists, secretaries and security guards.
You have decided to come here to bring him his coffee of choice and also food, knowing that his break time starts in exactly ten minutes.
The thing is that he seems to be still working after all so you don't know what he must be doing now.
Once the elevator drops you on the floor where his office is, you instantly greet Eleonor, his assistant.
"It's been a while since I've seen you last, Y/N!"
She says with a loving smile, hugging you tightly and you smile hugging her back, taking care not to let the food and coffee fall out of your hands.
"Oh yeah, I'll tell you," she says pointing to all the paperwork on her desk with an exhausted look, "That man doesn't rest and you should put a limit on him," she says seriously.
"Yeah, I know," you both pull apart and you look at her without wiping your smile, "I've been really busy with college and also Aemond lately has had a lot of work so.... each one is on his own."
"You know how stubborn he is," you tell her as you shake your head in disappointment, "But anyway, I came to bring him food, is he in his office?" you point to his door.
"Oh no, he went to his father's office for some papers, but he should be on his way back by no—
The sound of the elevator makes you both turn your gazes to it, interrupting Eleonor and when the doors open Aemond appears, quickly walking out of there with his gaze fixed on the screen of his phone while in his other hand he holds a folder.
"There he is," Eleonor tells you with a small smile.
You smile back at her and turn your attention to Aemond, who looks so handsome in his office suits, so masculine and powerful, drawing everyone's attention everywhere he goes, adding to that his beautiful long silver hair.
But not only that, his sapphire eye also attracts attention.
He lost his eye in an accident as a child, however, by filling his empty socket with that precious stone, he feels even more powerful, signifying respect and endurance to him, also a form of intimidation as he will become the boss one day.
He also has a prosthetic eye, but that one he wears more when he is with his family or also when he was going to college, although already being at home, he doesn't wear anything.
You see the frustration all over his face at whatever he must be looking at on his phone screen, but when he looks up, everything softens the moment he sees you, a small smile appears on his lips, but also the slight confusion, speeding up his pace towards you a little more.
"Hey baby."
"Hi," you smile softly at him, closing the distance between the two of you.
"What are you doing here?"
He asks you without wiping away his small smile, reaching towards you and instantly leaning down to leave a soft kiss on your lips which you reciprocate, smiling.
"I came to bring you your black coffee and food too," you point to everything in your hands, proudly.
"But don't you have classes?" he asks you confused, watching everything and also you, attentive.
"In two hours"
"Oh thank you, my sweet girl," he leaves another soft kiss on your lips, taking the coffee first as he sets the papers down on Eleonor's desk to take a sip, "Uff, I needed that."
"Yeah," you let out a small laugh, "It's your lunch hour, isn't it?"
"It's supposed to be," he tells you as the frustration returns to his face and so does his bad mood, "I have an important meeting in five minutes, I just got word," he points to the boardroom with his gaze, taking another sip of his coffee.
"Oh," disappointment again washes over you, as you had hoped this wouldn't happen, "I was hoping to spend some time with you," you tell him trying not to sound as sad as you really are.
And he lets out a long breath, turning his expression of pity and concern.
"I know love," he tells you as he rests his forehead with yours, looking at you sadly and as if asking for forgiveness, "You know if I could do anything—
"No, no, I know, it's okay babe," you assure him, interrupting him, "Then I won't stop you anymore if you have to work."
You smile softly at him, though it doesn't quite reach your eyes and then take the topper where his food is, as Aemond watches you intently and even sadly.
"I'll leave this in your office until you can eat, then I'll leave."
"Wait," he stops you in a soft voice, pulling you back towards him as he takes your arm, "Y/N, about last night—
"Mr. Targaryen!"
Suddenly a female voice interrupts him and also the moment, making you both focus behind him, where a tall woman with long black hair, red dress and black high heels approaches with a rather elegant and calculated way of walking, with a huge smile on her lips.
Aemond watches you back and stands next to you as he intertwines his fingers with yours and clears his throat, turning back to watch her.
"Miss Rivers," he nods politely towards her.
"It is a pleasure to see you on this day, Mr. Targaryen," she nods her head towards him as well, placing herself in front of you both.
"It is also a pleasure."
You watch Aemond for a second and then turn your gaze to her, watching as she also watches you at about the same time and that's when he reacts.
"Love, this is Alys Rivers, co-owner of the Riverlands company," he tells you and points to you with his hand, "And Miss Rivers, this is Y/N Y/L/N, my girlfriend."
You usually meet a lot of people who are also involved in all this business management stuff because of Aemond, especially when he takes you with him to important events and dinners as his companion, so this isn't new either.
What is new is this woman... Alys Rivers.
Normally she would have been just another woman who owns a company and is doing business with Aemond for her father's company, but the way she subtly inspects you up and down, and you notice the way she looks at your joined hand with Aemond.... you don't like it.
She looks at you superiorly and as if you're no big deal, almost expectantly, her bright smile from before disappearing for a second, but then she holds out her hand to you.
"Oh sure, it is a pleasure to meet you," she says to you with the brighter smile from before, but completely fake.
You bite the inside of your cheek and since you shouldn't be rude, much less to what you think is Aemond's new partner and company, you take her hand and shake it briefly.
"A pleasure," you nod in her direction.
"We're discussing a contract," Aemond then tells you, leaning his body toward you.
"Oh really? That sounds—
"Actually, speaking of discussions," she interrupts you, catching both of your attention, "I'm sorry but could I steal your boyfriend for a moment?"
She asks you suddenly, her tone too high and mellow, completely fake, without erasing her smile, revealing her perfect, aligned teeth.
"I really don't mean to intrude," she says with a sorrow look, but you don't believe her at all, "It's just that I'm afraid your grandfather and also my uncle are already expecting us Mr. Targaryen," she turns to Aemond to focus on you again, "I'm sure you'll understand, business stuff."
Of course you understand, you know Aemond's job perfectly well and in fact you wouldn't have taken any more notice of this woman despite the fake way she acts towards you and also because of the way she looked at you before.
But... you care very much the moment she places her hand on Aemond's shoulder, exposing her perfect red painted nails.
"Shall we?" she asks him as she watches him with a certain gleam in her eyes and gaze, completely attentive and in his disposition.
Of course Aemond notices this too, who almost instantly watches as she touches him, not understanding what has happened to her to casually make such a gesture or rather what has she thought to take such a liberty, then subtly walking away from her, trying not to look annoyed.
"I'll be there in a moment," he tells her just as polite and serious as before.
But she is insistent.
"I'm sorry Mr. Targaryen but we must leave now."
"Don't worry, I'm sure my grandfather can speak in my absence."
The smile fades from her lips, but you see how she quickly pulls herself together, although you've had enough of this and you don't want to delay Aemond any longer even though you don't like this woman at all, but at least they won't be alone and there are more people involved in the meeting.
And before she speaks, you do, addressing him.
"Don't worry love, I'll be on my way," you smile at him, "I don't want to delay you any longer. But I'll see you tonight, okay?"
And this immediately gets his attention.
"Do you need someone to drive you? I can tell Cole."
"No, no need, it's fine," you assure him, "You eat this, okay?"
You point to the food then extend it to Eleonor, as he smiles softly.
"Okay."
"Have a good day, love you."
"You too, love you."
You leave a soft kiss on his lips and finally head to the elevator, feeling the piercing gaze of Alys Rivers, but you don't mind, since at least you weren't the fake one the whole time.
After you leave the building and head to the university, your day goes by slow, stressful and with a lot to do, until finally your class ends at almost nine o'clock at night and you head home completely exhausted.
Normally Aemond comes home at ten o'clock at night, however, you don't know why you were hoping that maybe he had come home earlier, however, when you get to the apartment everything is dark.
You let out a long breath and turn on the lights, wishing and hoping that Aemond was already here and that just for one night, he would be the one to welcome you home.
You've thought about bringing up the subject of how you should spend more time with him, how he could maybe organize his work schedule better, how you've been feeling lately and how you misses him, telling him that nothing feels like it used to.
So the days and weeks go by, nothing has changed, you are still working half days, you are still going to classes, doing projects, research and so on.
While Aemond is still working very hard at the company, both of you seeing each other until late at night when he finishes another long and stressful day at work.
However, the words get stuck in your throat as you see him coming home from work very tired, deciding it's best to let him rest and sleep.
But more and more you feel the disappointment and sadness envelop you, having to deal with it yourself because you don't want to upset him.
Then one day, everything starts to go wrong.
In the middle of your Sales and Negotiation class, suddenly your phone vibrates and while listening attentively to your professor, you briefly glance at the screen for a second, seeing that it's a message from Floris, a friend you and Aemond have in common.
She apparently sends you a link to a magazine article that you can't really read unless you open the chat, and then you see two more messages from her.
[Floris B]: you saw this??
[Floris B]: ????
This definitely gets your attention, but before you can do anything, your professor draws more attention from everyone in the class and you go back to being attentive, hoping none of it was a bad thing.
However, an hour after class ends, you finally leave the classroom and start walking down the hallway in the direction of your next class with your phone in hand, opening the curious magazine link and what pops up... it's definitely bad.
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With your thumb you read more of the whole news, where yes there are pictures of Aemond with that woman in a restaurant, just the two of them, him in his office clothes and her in an elegant dress.
You feel your breathing getting heavier as you see more pictures, where there is one in particular where you see how she has her hand on top of his, they are both obviously talking but there are also papers and folders on the table.
Again you feel that sharp pain in your chest, not wanting to jump to conclusions so fast, you trust Aemond with your life but clearly you don't trust her.
What you don't understand is why they went to a restaurant together. If they have talked business, which in fact there is no other reason why the two of them would be together, why not take care of it at the office?
You enter Safari and as you google Aemond, you see the same magazine article everywhere, instantly more magazines and newspapers advertising the same thing, all about a possible relationship between him and Alys Rivers.
You let out a long breath and finally head to your class, trying not to think about it anymore, but as the minutes tick by... you can't.
In all your remaining classes you find it hard to concentrate, you feel an uncertainty and anxiety all the time, you feel really bad and you have no idea what will happen when Aemond and you see each other tonight.
Not only Floris messages you, but also other friends that you and Aemond have in common, but you don't respond to them, only making you feel more anxious that the news is spreading fast.
Until finally you can go home and having no other choice, you wait for Aemond to arrive.
You pour yourself a glass of wine, unable to help it and wait for Aemond at the kitchen island, drinking and having the hope that this, that woman, is no threat and that what happened just happened inside the business and will not happen anymore.
Or at least it won't happen anymore in the sense that Aemond won't show up with her publicly anymore to avoid the press making speculations like this, that whether you want it to or not, they affect you and a lot.
You really don't know what is going on with Aemond in the company, you don't know what he talks about with his grandfather, his father, his mother and this woman, you don't know about his negotiations, his work and that's why it affects you, because you don't know what is happening.
Everything would be simpler if he and you had the time to talk, to share what you do, what you should do, as before.
However... you have the suspicion that this is not only in Aemond's hands, but that it is something beyond, something this woman is in control of and you don't like it at all, not since you met her and she gave you a bad feeling.
And you finally let out all the air you're holding in when you hear the sound of the door.
You continue sitting still on the stool, with the glass of wine in your hands, waiting. When again you hear the sound of the door closing and the figure of Aemond appearing, instantly he sees you.
He lets out a long breath as it finally becomes clear to him that you saw the news, he knew it before when he too saw the article in his office and officially started his stressful and frustrating day, but he didn't think it would affect you so much.
He leaves his keys on the island and then takes off his jacket with a silence enveloping you both, where he watches you attentively but you don't look back at him, still deep in thought, taking another sip of your wine.
He sees your dull look, the anxiety all over your body, the uncertainty, the sadness, the stress and he bets that your treacherous thoughts are making you believe things that are not.
He also notices how bad you must feel and how tense and distant you are from him now, and that worries him more than anything else.
"Nothing happened between me and this woman, Y/N."
Then he decides to speak, not bearing this anymore, your silence, your attitude, your distance. He just wants to hold you, hug you and kiss you, which is all he wants every time he finishes another horrible day at work.
He tells you tactfully, his voice soft and honest, firm with what he's saying, taking a couple of steps toward you, to which you continue without looking at him.
"I just want to know why you went to that restaurant together," you tell him in your voice just as soft as his, almost even sounding tired.
And he knows you too well, however, because this news is practically everywhere, being the first time you both face something like this, you remain calm and willing to talk.
And this strangely confuses and surprises him.
Although it shouldn't since he knows that you never get angry with him, at least not in this kind of situations since from the beginning of the relationship, communication has always been paramount before jumping to your own conclusions, avoiding fights.
And this gives him a bit of confidence to move closer to you.
"I just thought it would be better to take care of some business in public," he tells you honestly, "I know you didn't like her when you met her, neither did I. I also know she started to cross physical boundaries and I didn't like the idea of being with her alone in my office, that's why I decided on a public place out of respect for you," he explains, "I should have known this would happen though," he says bitterly,
Nothing.
You say nothing. You just listen and think.
You still don't like that he's having encounters with this woman, but if he has to do it for company business, you're not going to have an argument with him when it's just work.
And your silence begins to unsettle and frustrate him.
"You believe me, don't you?" he asks you insistently, concerned.
"Of course I do," you tell him in a murmur, without much emotion, though honestly, watching him out of the corner of your eye.
You almost snort in disbelief, of course you believe him.
Only you know when Aemond is being honest or not and you are relieved that he is always thinking of you, but he is not the problem, it's his job and this woman, that's what doesn't leave you alone.
But Aemond doesn't feel reassured just hearing that from you.
You take the last sip of your wine glass and get up from the stool to head to the dishwasher, saying nothing more, then start heading for the bedroom, causing Aemond to become more concerned and insistent.
"Where are you going?"
"I want to sleep."
He lets out a sigh as he averts his gaze for a second.
"Come on Y/N, don't be like that," he looks at you sadly.
"I'm not doing anything," you tell him, walking past him.
"You haven't even looked me in the eye since I arrived," he insists, stopping you.
"Aemond..." you finally give him a look, "I'm tired."
"Me too but I want to fix this," he says immediately.
"No, I'm tired... of everything," you clarify, serious and also sad.
He looks at you without understanding.
"What do you mean? I already explained to you—
"No, it's not just her, it's... your work and us."
You say more specifically, causing more confusion from Aemond, who watches you with furrowed brows and parted lips, attentive.
"I've wished for just one, one day where we can spend time together," you confess to him, "I don't mean fifteen, twenty minutes, I mean the whole afternoon or evening, or a day where on your days off you're not cooped up in your office."
"Y/N, I-I—
"I know you have a lot of work, I understand that," you clarify, "I don't want to harass you with this too when you have more important things to take care of, truly—
"Do you think you're not important?" he asks instantly confused, bewildered.
And you... don't really answer him.
You stay completely silent, just watching him back and nothing else with an equally sad look, to which Aemond's face becomes more worried and confused than before.
"Y/N, you are one of my priorities," he tells you hurt, "How come you don't believe that now?"
"Yes I do," you clarify sadly, "What I'm saying is that you barely have time for me and I know it's not your fault because I know your job, but..." you let out a long breath, "Not even a single day have we been able to spend together, not a single one."
He instantly tries to speak, opening his mouth to say something, but immediately closes it and struggles to be able to find the right words he wants to say, getting frustrated with himself.
He really doesn't want to tell you again what you've heard before, but he can't find another explanation because that's the only truth.
He shakes his head, letting his sentence hang in the air, watching you with sorrow, sadness and worry, failing to say anything else, as you feel tears begin to form in your eyes, your vision blurring.
"Y/N, I-I...," he looks sad, "I swear to you, if I could do anything, I would, but...
You press your lips together as you don't want to start crying in front of him, you really don't want him to see you like this, but you can't control it and in an instant the tears fall freely down your cheeks as you avert your defeated gaze from Aemond.
"No, no, please don't cry, my love."
He tells you instantly more concerned than before and you quickly bring your hands up to cover your face, completely embarrassed and trying to control yourself.
But you can't as he quickly encloses you in his arms and pulls you into his body in a protective, comforting way, while at the same time leaving soft kisses in your hair, stroking your back gently with one of his large, firm hands.
"Shh, my sweet girl," he says softly and warmly above your head, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
You instantly hug him back too and sink your face deeper into his chest, sniffling your nose and controlling your sobs, really not wanting to cry anymore.
You missed this, completely. You just wish this wasn't happening under these circumstances.
"It's just that I miss you so much," you confess, clinging tighter to him.
And Aemond's heart breaks into pieces, instantly pulling you tighter against him, hating to see you in this state, hating to see you crying and even worse.... that you're crying for him.
"I miss you too baby, all the time," he says softly, "I miss you so much it fucking hurts."
He instantly leaves more soft kisses in your hair, also on your cheek, holding you tighter against him, while you let yourself be held in his arms and continue to cling against him, not wanting to let go and feeling that if you pull away, he will disappear at any moment right in front of you.
But it's only because you're vulnerable.
You don't know how long you both last like that, it must have only been a minute, but it feels like an eternity for both of you, especially for you, finally starting to calm down.
"I'm sorry," you say in a whisper and try to pull away from him a little, lifting one of your hands to wipe away your tears, "I didn't mean to get like this," you confess sadly, "I shouldn't be selfish."
"Hey, no, look at me."
He says in soft tone, placing one of his hands on your chin to lift your face towards him and you do so, watching him with sadness and embarrassment at the same time, as he gently shakes his head in your direction.
"No, it's not like that, you've just been busy having to attend to your wor—
"You're not selfish love," he makes it clear to you, "You're absolutely right. I've been neglecting you and that's not right of me."
"It's still not right," he insists, concerned, "And to be honest, if I were you I'd feel the same way," he confesses, "But I promise I'll do everything in my power to spend time with you, baby."
You shake your head in his direction.
"There are some things you can't control, Aemond."
"No matter, I miss you too, I want to spend time with you and I'll make sure of that."
You close your eyes and bring your forehead to his, both of you sinking into a comforting silence and a moment you haven't had in a long time, where it's just him and you.
He assures you softly and the two of you say nothing more, just stare into each other's eyes for a few moments.
Then he begins to gently trace your cheek with his thumb, attentively and delicately, watching you lovingly, as if he wants to memorize every detail of your face in his mind.
"My beautiful girl," Aemond murmurs fondly, in a low, soft tone.
You smile slightly and lean your face down to kiss his lips, he instantly reciprocates, holding your waist tighter against him as you place your arms around his neck and take complete refuge in him, needing this.
Aemond holds his hand more firmly on your cheek and deepens the kiss, working his way across your lips with his tongue, beginning to explore your mouth and you respond in kind in a slow, deep kiss.
Then you both part with a wet sound of your lips, you again embracing him and sinking your face into his neck, inhaling his cologne that drives you completely crazy and the fresh scent of detergent on his clothes that at the same time comforts you.
And finally everything feels right.
You there in Aemond's arms, this being exactly what you needed along with communication.
However, as the seconds pass with Aemond still holding you and both of you in that comfortable silence, he can't help but begin to feel guilty and remorseful.
At first he thought about not talking to you about this subject, solely so that you wouldn't worry and feel bad because of him, but now that you both have spoken... he can't keep something like this from you and he knows it's the ideal time.
"Love?"
He calls you softly, catching your attention, still both of you clinging in the embrace and the feel of each other's body with each other close.
"Hm?" you murmur, sending a vibration through his chest.
He presses his lips together for a moment, nervous, but no longer able to bear that another minute passes and you still don't know about this.
"There's something... I haven't told you."
And this definitely gets your attention more.
You slowly turn away from his body, instantly Aemond hating the feeling, then raise your gaze to him, watching him intently and all at once realizing that it's not something you'd like to hear.
You know it by the nervous, worried look he's giving you as you both again look at each other.
"What is it?"
He lets out a long breath, looking away from you for a moment, again having this difficulty being able to say the words he wants to say, wanting to explain everything to you gently, thoughtfully and clearly.
"Y/N... I-I... none of this has really been my decision," he tells you honestly, "But... I'm afraid you'll keep seeing me around this woman."
And it's definitely something you didn't like to hear.
Aemond waits attentively for your reaction, while you continue to watch him intently, your lips parted, a little confused, but neutral, this really not bothering you... yet.
"It's all for work Y/N, I know you know that but I don't want you to think otherwise if another news like this happens again," he tells you cautiously and attentively.
"So you'll go out with her again?"
He lets out a long breath.
"The company needs to associate with hers for our investment in an extra capital, since the attempted association with the Martells didn't work out and my grandfather...he asked me to take it over."
You lower your gaze for a moment, pursing your lips, processing the information, understanding perfectly well that this is solely for work and nothing else, but still... you don't like this woman at all.
"But I can keep Eleonor or Criston around if it's not to your liking," he tells you instantly, turning your gaze back to him, "I've even already taken care with our publicists to deny the rumor by saying it's all work between her and me, also we'll already be prepared in case this happens again."
"Aemond, I understand all of this perfectly," you clarify, assuring him with your tone and look, "I totally trust you but... it's her I don't trust and I don't like the way she behaves when she's around you."
He swallows hard, lowering his gaze for a moment, thinking very carefully about the words he will tactfully say to you next, not wanting to upset you.
"Also... my grandfather has suggested that perhaps it would be good and more efficient for us to partner with Riverlands sooner if I will begin to have an... intimate... relationship with her."
You feel a huge sharp pain in your chest, watching in mild surprise at Aemond, definitely not expecting that.
The silence surrounding you both only increases the pain inside you more, the sadness clinging to your heart, as you lower your gaze and part your lips, having your gaze wander to an invisible spot on the ground.
Tears begin to want to flow from your eyes, again, unable to control your overwhelming emotions any longer. As he instantly sees the sadness all over your face, the disbelief as well, beginning to worry you more.
"Of course I told him no, Y/N."
He tells you instantly, anguished and worried, taking your hands in his, but you don't react, at least not yet.
"He wants the media to start making publicity about the two of us, he thinks it will make the whole process easier and faster, that Rivers will be pleased along with her uncle. Even she...she's come on to me before but, but believe me Y/N, I have stopped her and been very clear with her about you and that I'm not the least bit interested."
"But she is interested in you," you tell her in your low, sad tone of voice, "And you won't be able to do much about it if you have to get yourself associated with her company. You'll have to keep seeing her, be in her company and be accessible to her if you want to make it."
"This shouldn't take me too long, love, I promise," he continues to tell you worriedly, wanting to make you understand, "Yes, you will see me with her but I also promise you that everything for me means work."
"But for her and your grandfather it's not only work, Aemond," you tell him a little more serious, just as sad, "She also wants to have you the other way, that's why she behaved with me the way she behaved when she met me."
You know that, totally.
"I know baby, I know," he tells you softly, "But I will never let her disrespect you, in any way."
He assures you firmly, determined.
"I don't care what my grandfather or her wants, neither what the press says about her and me, all I care about is that you understand that everything for me is work and that I would never do anything to hurt you and end everything between us, believe me that's the last thing I want," he tells you honestly, "And I also want you to keep in mind that I only want you."
You know that Aemond wants you, just the same way you want him and he loves you too, you both love each other, you love him with every fiber of your heart.
But it is all this that does not leave you calm, this is what you have never had to go through before and the insecurity along with the uncertainty consumes you as your mind is spinning non-stop, not even having the idea of what to think, with a knot forming in your stomach.
It all becomes more overwhelming and you don't know if you can get through this together, fearing for the future of the perfect relationship you had with him, the man you love.
And Aemond seeing this, just as worried, anxious and sad as you, not liking this at all either, knowing that he is asking too much of you seeing that you are thinking too fast, all the anxiety and stress through your body, instantly comes back to hug you to comfort you.
But he also does it to comfort himself.
His warm embrace feels like a safe haven in the midst of the moment you are going through, his arms wrapping around you gently but with a strength that makes you feel protected and loved, where you find comfort and his familiar fragrance makes you feel at home.
You experience the love and that connection of the two of you that seem to erase any worry or sadness you feel at that moment, also him, finding that primordial emotional support.
"I promise I will do everything in my power to make this all end soon, I promise love."
He assures you along with his gentle caresses on your back, his soothing words whispered in your ear making the outside world disappear and only the two of you exist, united in a loving embrace that makes you feel complete and loved.
And they also make you feel a sense of calm and hope that with your boyfriend's love and support, everything will be okay.
But neither of you knew what awaited you next.
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After your conversation with Aemond, there really isn't much change in the relationship.
You tried your best not to think about him and that woman, you tried not to think about the fact that she was probably in the building at a certain time and that the two of them were together, being a thing almost every day that Aemond had to be in her company.
Your job at the coffe shop helped you not to overthink and focus almost one hundred percent on your classes, although in some free hours you had your boyfriend was in your thoughts.
What fortunately changed was that when your classes were over and you got home, he was already there waiting for you, the first night surprising you and making you feel completely happy.
You both were able to enjoy sharing an extended night together, having dinner, talking about everything and finally going to bed, you have also resumed some movie nights and also the nights of intimacy have been more constant.
But other than that... everything remains the same.
You and he haven't really talked about Rivers, you don't bring it up every time the magazines announce that he and she have been seen together again, clearly because the subject has already been discussed, but still, it makes you feel weird and you really don't like seeing those articles.
But you find it exhaustive that you have to talk it over with him again, so exhaustive for both him and you, that you don't want the two of you to end up having a fight afterwards.
So until now... you can just deal with it.
Until one day in a free hour before your last two-hour class starts, when you have your phone in your hand you get a new message and when you read it, it's from Aemond's sister, Helaena.
Hel🦋: hello beautiful!
Hel🦋: omg it has been ages
Hel🦋: I'm sure the event will be less boring with you🤭
Hel🦋: I am so excited to finally see you again on Saturday
Hel🦋: see you soon!
The messages make you smile and make you start to feel a warmth run through your chest, you too have been missing Hel for a while now as she works at Highgarden as well in a company expansion on her father's.
You haven't seen her for months and clearly communication by message doesn't happen much as both of you, especially her, are just as busy as Aemond.
But the smile doesn't last long on your face as you had no idea about this event, since you know what event it is, only that Aemond hasn't told you about it.
They are one of the typical important events where all the relevant businessmen attend, where they announce new innovations, where they make partners and where basically everyone allies with everyone.
When you get home, this time you are the one who arrives first and although you tried to control yourself by not asking him anything right away, you can't hold back anymore and that's what you do after he gets home from work.
Since you and Aemond started your relationship, you have always accompanied him to these events.
And especially at this one, since it's organized by his family, but you didn't know it would certainly happen because he didn't tell you anything.
And honestly he looks surprised when you ask him why he hadn't told you about the event, not expecting that, this getting your attention and instantly you know the reason isn't good and you're not going to like hearing it.
"I did wanted to tell you because I know we always go together, love" he says to you with some regret, "But now Rivers will be there an—
"You're going with her?"
You just ask him, all starting to form in your mind, while he doesn't say anything back right away and just stares at you uncertainly for a few moments and the realization starts to become more apparent to you.
"Your grandfather told you to take her as your companion?" you ask him more specifically now, watching him intently, waiting for his answer.
And you begin to see perfectly well how he starts to get frustrated.
"Yes but I told him I wouldn't do that," he clarifies instantly, looking at you worried and honest, "That's why I decided better to go on my own if everyone will be there."
You frown slightly at him.
"And what's wrong with me going with you?"
He doesn't answer, watches you for a few moments still with sorrow in his gaze, then lowers his head, staring at the ground as he lets out a long breath and runs a hand over his face.
Then you answer your own question, understanding him.
"You don't want to take me because everyone will be there and your grandfather won't be pleased to see me with you when you should have taken her with you?"
"Love, listen," he tells you immediately, walking towards you, "It's more than that, okay?" he says attentively and distressed, "I just thought that it wouldn't be comfortable for you to go with me to that place if she will be there—
"Everyone is talking about her and you," you tell him with your most serious tone, interrupting him, "Everyone will expect her and you to go together and of course your grandfather won't be happy to see me coming with you, why don't you tell me that?"
"Okay, yes, you are right, but I don't want to go with her, I want to go with you, I have always gone with you," he says in clarification, "But on this occasion I don't think it will be necessary, besides it won't be comfortable for you."
You let out a snort.
"Do you think I won't be able to handle it?"
"No, I mean, of course you can," he tells you instantly, "But you know her, she's very reckless and I don't want us to have a fight after that."
"Then do we put a limit on her, like you have done all this time with her or not?" you ask expectantly.
"Yes, of course I have put limits on her, but in that place..." he pauses, frustrated, "There will be a lot of people, our partners, my family and the press will always be watching, everything will be three times too much. Besides I'll have to attend an announcement along with her and all eyes will be on her and me and I don't want you to feel bad."
You let out a breath, turning your gaze away from him, feeling discomfort in your body, starting to walk away from him to go to your room.
"Okay, I get it, you don't want me to go with you, just say so."
And he reacts instantly.
"Hey, no, no, no, I didn't say that," he says worriedly, stopping you and placing himself in front of you, looking at you pleadingly, "Baby, please."
You let out a long breath, closing your eyes for a moment.
"It's just that you're treating me like I don't know this... your whole world, like I haven't gone to these events with you before," you tell him sadly, "Your grandfather knows we're together and yet he's asking you for this kind of thing... like as if I were a nuisance and at the same time like if I don't exist. And it's been like that ever since she—
You stop, not wanting to say anything else, feeling the lump in your throat and how tears begin to form in your eyes, bringing your hands instantly to your face, not wanting to cry now and feel bad, telling yourself that you're overreacting.
But all of this is really how you feel and you can't help it. And mostly you don't want to show your true feelings or speak your thoughts so as not to overwhelm him.
But just as you understand him, he understands you too.
"Fuck no, please don't cry baby, I hate to see you cry."
He tells you to then wrap you in a warm, firm embrace, holding you tight against his chest where he instantly feels all the tension through your body and pulls you tighter against him, wanting to protect you from everything that hurts you at that moment.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, love."
He tells you in low murmurs as he gently strokes your hair and you let out more of your tears, clinging completely to him.
"No, it's not your fault," you tell him sadly, sobbing softly against his chest.
He lets out a sigh.
"Yes it is," he says softly, "You don't deserve any of this."
He leaves a soft kiss in your hair, still hugging you and having no intention of letting you go, while you let yourself be carried away by the comforting warmth of his body, wanting to keep feeling that familiarity and security that only he can give you, in spite of everything.
"I know things have been hard lately and I'm so sorry, but... I love you and I care about you, you mean the whole world to me."
"I know babe," you murmur back, "I love you too and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get like this."
"No, no, it's okay love," he assures you, "We're going to get through this, just like we always have, remember?"
You nod your head even though you have it resting against his chest, then sniffle your nose and raise one of your hands to wipe away your tears, as he pulls away from you a little so he can look into your eyes and leave a soft kiss on your lips which you instantly reciprocate, again taking refuge in his arms.
Both of you at that moment feel vulnerable and lost for a moment in the uncertainty of the situation, but you knew you had to face whatever it was together.
Aemond feels in control of the relationship, but you feel more at a crossroads because of the uncertain future of the relationship itself.
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z0mbiefrank · 1 year
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i have a lot of thoughts i'd like to document about mcr's auckland show, but here's just some of the things gerard said that hit me particularly hard.
first off, of course, we have the quote of the whole night, which i'll try not to dwell on too much.
"In the face of extermination, say fuck you."
there have been many posts about this. despite it not being included in the live stream, this video swept the dashboard. there is a pride flag front and centre in the audience. gerard is barely visible but all we needed was his voice. within hours it had inspired countless textposts and art pieces. i know i'm not the only one who cried. it is exactly what i needed to hear during this time of trans rights being rolled back all over the world. then came this video where you can see gerard. they walk right to the front centre stage, legs planted strongly in their skirt and tights, face set with intent, and he spits out those words for the whole world to hear.
now this next one i have not seen any posts about, but it struck a chord with me anyways. before planetary go they speak to the audience:
"You all look wonderful. You do. I see you when the lights are bright on us. I see you. Don't worry, I see you. There's some wonderful costumes. If they're costumes. Are they costumes?" The audience yells back with a resounding "No!" source video
every night my chemical romance performs, they look out to a crowd of visibly queer people staring right back at them. my mcr show was the first time i saw my trans best friend able to walk into the men's bathroom with his head held high. recently there has been a huge onslaught of anti-transgender laws across the world. i'm sure we've all seen posts pointing out that gerard's cheerleader dress they wore in Nashville would now be illegal. the new tennessee bill bans "male or female impersonators who provide entertainment that appeals to a prurient interest." many people have claimed the bill is 'only' about drag performers, as if that would make it okay, but we know that is not true. right-wingers have proven time and time again they view trans women as nothing more than "female impersonators". they treat transgender bodies as nothing but a fetish, or a prurient interest. they argue against gender-affirming medical care on the same phone they use to watch transgender porn. they believe transgender identity and queerness is a costume. it is something we can take on and off. something they can ban and eradicate from their country. but it's not a fucking costume. it's who we are.
which leads me to the encore. this was the only show during their tour with a planned one-song encore (excluding festivals), and that song was their most famous of all time, welcome to the black parade. the band walks back on stage and the only thing gerard says is
"Be who the fuck you are." video
an incredibly important statement that has always been a core part of my chemical romance's message. but with everything that's been going on, with frank saying one of his favourite thing about these tours is "g being able to just be himself", with gerard's gnc outfits making headlines, i feel like that was the perfect sentence to close the show
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personasintro · 1 year
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Employed 01 | jjk
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⏤𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴; Being independent while living the harsh reality of adulthood is sparked by arrogance in the form of the most infuriating man you've ever met.
⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: ceo!jungkook x reader
⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers
⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: explicit language
⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 16.4k+
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banner by: @archivedkookie // thank you so much again for making this for me! ♡
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index (to be added)
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El: I think I'm drunk again
"think or know?"
El: know then
El: turns out I didn't have sex yesterday 
El: god I already masturbated twice today!!!
You could survive without that information, a snicker leaving your mouth at your best friend's messages. She had a date yesterday. Well, you're not sure if it was officially a date or she just hung out with one of her co-workers she's been flirting with for weeks now. 
Elaine broke up with her then boyfriend recently. This co-worker of hers has caught her eyes even when she was in a relationship (with a total douchebag). Not mentioning he's still in a relationship with his girlfriend. They're not on good terms either but still. It's complicated and who are you to judge?
"make it three then" 
El: it's not helping :/
"because he's all you're thinking about"
That one is true. He's been a topic number one in any of your conversations.
El: that's true lol
El: but I'm kinda scared to get involved with someone from my work
"I'm not surprised, it usually is like that"
"but look, you're never gonna find out if you don't try it"
While you're trying to be as supportive as a best friend can be, you do have your own opinion about her little shenanigans. But in the end, you do want her to be happy and not be depressed because of her two failed relationships from before. This guy at least seems to be treating her right and he's a proper gentleman. Not a red flag which cannot be said about the previous two ones. 
El: so you think I should give it a chance?
Jumping from one relationship to another is... you're not sure what to think of it. Everyone's different and you try to keep being open-minded. If he makes her happy and she wants to try it, why not? 
You know you would be more wary, especially after a heartbreak. You would focus on yourself first, recharge and regain self-love or whatever people do after a break-up. 
Before you can type your reply, another message pops up.
El: because he treats me right and everything's perfect... I'm just scared of that one fact of working together
"well working with friends or family never does any good, the same goes for relationships"
That's a fact. In most cases it's the worst anyone can do. 
"but try it if you feel like that's the right thing"
You're not one of those friends who give false hope. You're honest, try to be without getting too honest which could potentially hurt someone. Elaine is a wonderful woman. You've known her for years and have been best friends just as long. It's unfortunate the majority of your communication is done through messages and occasional video calls. Ever since you moved out of the country, you've been away from everyone. 
However, you knew what you would lose in order to pursue a different life you always wanted.
El: what about you tho? have you found yourself a job yet?
The question you've found unpleasant back home – and you still do. 
"no :("
El: don't worry! you just got there
El: I'm sure you'll find one soon x
Sighing, you wish Elaine's words would come true. Preferably very soon.
You send her a quick thank you with a heart emoji before someone slides onto the opposite seat. Met with a wide grin and crinkled eyes at the ends, your before neutral expression turns into a surprise and happiness. You didn't hear him coming!
"Hobi!" you greet him after not seeing his face for a few days.
He's been your friend for quite some time now. Actually, it's safe to say he's been a huge help ever since you decided to move here. It lasts until now and without his help, you're not sure if you would've ever had the guts to leave the comfort of familiarity of your country.
"Hey," he greets, laughing a little as the air becomes more cheerful. Or maybe it's only you and the fact he's no stranger to you. 
Having prying eyes on you almost all the time is still a little uncomfortable. As if they knew you're a foreigner right out of the bat.
Hoseok chose to meet up at his favorite place. He's a little late, but you don't have the heart to scold him for it. You know it's only your anxiety of having to be here alone, feeling strangers' eyes on you. Luckily, you did the typical trick. Staring into your phone, minding your business and trying to act unbothered. 
"Have you ordered anything yet?"
"Ah, no," you shake your head, "Was waiting for you."
You had to tell the older lady to give you more time since your friend should be arriving anytime soon. 
"Sorry for running late, traffic here is no joke." he apologizes, shrugging his overshirt as he hangs it over the bag of his stool.
"It's fine." you tell him, catching his amused expression which causes you to purse your lips. 
"No scolding?"
"I was about to but I changed my mind."
"Of course you were." he laughs.
Before another word can be uttered and a fit of giggles surround the round table, what you assume is the owner – the same lady that asked you for your order earlier – comes back with the same kind smile. Hoseok says both your orders, already knowing your usual choice since you're here the third time already. Like you said, it's his favorite place to eat. Korean barbecue is definitely worth every penny. 
"I didn't wanna tell you on the phone but–" He giggles when he notices your wary look. "You haven't found a job yet, right?" He makes sure.
For some reason, your cheeks heat up in guilt. Guilt from not being able to find out despite living here for two weeks. Okay, it might not be a long time but the whole process of finding a job is way harder. You've been through something similar back in home. Having to experience this all over again feels very saddening. You would lie if you told you haven't had any expectations. Of course, you know it's not going to be easy but still. You hoped it would be easier.
You're a little fucked up from the situation back home. The months you waited to get a job and then lose it in the span of one month. Wasn't your fault, but it still hurts though. 
Shortly said, you just can't allow yourself to experience that again. 
"No." you mumble, placing your elbow on the table as you prop your chin on your palm. 
"Perfect," he says, met with a raised brow from you. "I have a friend."
"Oh god."
"No, listen to me," he presses. 
Hoseok has a lot of friends. Different types of friends. While you haven't been able to meet most of them (which you're sure is not even possible since he's got a lot of them), you've heard of them. 
"He owns a company. A very prestigious one," 
That has your eyes widening.
"He's been looking for an assistant, told me about it when we went out for a whiskey."
"Since when do you drink whiskey?"
"Not the point," he grits, "Anyway, he just mentioned it very briefly but then an idea sparked when I was home. How did I not think of it sooner? Right, like–"
"Hobi." You motion for him to shorten it and to get to the fucking point. 
"Right," he laughs, "So–you should work for him."
You blink and stare, breathing out a chuckle. "Just like that?"
"Well, no." he frowns a little, "You should probably go to the interview–but honestly, you have nothing to be scared of."
"But assistant? What are the requirements? What about–"
"He's gonna tell you everything. We don't talk about work much and he only briefly mentioned looking for an assistant. But you're great and skillful. What else do you need to be an assistant?"
"I don't think it's that easy, Hobi. Especially if it's some big company like you said."
Hoseok leans back, shrugging. "He's my friend. He's gonna take you in." he promises and waves his hand, sending you a little assurement along with a wide supportive smile. 
You're not sure you're assured at all. But you have nothing to lose. You told Elaine to try it because else she wouldn't know. Even though this is not about a relationship at all, there's some similarity to the situation. 
And you're going to listen to your own advice.
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Hoseok wasn't lying when he said about his friend's company. That alone made your stomach shrink with unease and the only thing that calmed you was the reminder of their friendship. Regardless of this successful friend of his and what he said about his business, you expected a decent and nice building. 
Not a freaking tallest and biggest building on a street full of companies. 
Holy shit. 
That's your first reaction you luckily keep to yourself while you stare at the tall building. Oh god. You're ten seconds from running away like a coward but you can't. You simply can't let a stupid stress affect you. This is a great opportunity for you. 
Plus, not to mention the lengths Hoseok went through to get you a chance to have an interview here. He talked to his friend because of you, purely because of that you can't disappoint him as well. 
Staring at the building, it screams of wealth even from its exterior. Is it stupid to say it kind of looks a little intimidating? Sure, your nerves could play a role in this as well. It looks like the entire building is covered in glass, in one you can't see through from the outside. Plus it looks super clean. 
Do they get it cleaned often? You laugh at your thoughts, releasing a breath you've been holding before you finally start walking toward the entrance. 
The only info Hoseok gave you was time and date. He told you there's nothing to worry about and you'll find your way around. Despite the lack of information, he tried to assure you. But walking up the stairs, you mentally curse at your friend. He might've done that because he didn't want you all stressed out, but it has a complete opposite effect.
So you remind yourself of his words of assurement and just go for it. 
The tall and huge door is automatic. Of course it is. It opens as soon as you're close enough, fast enough so you don't have to halt your steps which happens often with automatic doors. 
Scent of freshness and (novelty?) hits you pleasantly as soon as you're inside. It's everything you see in big movies. A lot of space, minimalistic but pretty interior. Everything is modern and even people working here are dressed elegantly, in dark blue color that is matched with white. 
"Miss? Where are you going?"
Almost jumping at the sudden presence beside you, you see a bulky man with a security tag attached to his elegant shirt. Even security has elegant attire? Holy fuck, Hoseok, where did you send me?
You're impressed, almost too impressed but that only sparks your stress even more. 
Especially when you see the man patiently waiting for your response. 
"Umm," Great. "I've got a job interview here?"
He scans you as if he's searching for any hints of lying. What is this? A fucking pentagon? 
"They'll give you directions at the reception desk. Please, continue past the detector." he says professionally, pointing at the detector system you've only seen at airports.
"Thank you." You try to send him a polite smile, your legs suddenly feeling a little wobbly in those heels. 
You chose an elegant outfit, a nice soft pink set with a touch of a few decent silver accessories. It's not too much but it screams of elegance which suits their theme. You paid extra attention to your make-up and hair, putting all your effort and not only because it distracted you today. 
The reception desk is at the very end, not hard to miss as a huge logo of the company is lit up and attached to the marble wall. There is a young woman aware of your presence immediately, welcoming you there before asking what you are looking for. If they're surprised to see you here, they don't show it as much. 
After explaining you're here for the job interview, she asks for your name and after she checks your information, she gives you directions to get there. There are a lot of employers, busy doing their job as some of them wait for an elevator. There are three of them! 
Other than that, nobody really pays you any attention as a silent chatter involving business resounds inside the elevator. Some of them get out sooner, some of them wait until it's their turn.
Number twelve lits up as a robotic voice informs you of the floor you situate. You get out, not quite sure where else to go as you look left and right. A little confused, the young receptionist hasn't offered any further information beside getting out on floor twelve. That's until you see a group of young females gathered on the left side of the building. Getting a feeling this is it, you walk toward them.
There is another receptionist desk, a few chairs and leather sofa in the hallway as all of them seem to be waiting. This is it.
"Welcome, miss. Are you here for the interview?" Someone asks, catching your attention as you notice another receptionist with the same attire like the one that greeted you earlier. 
This one has short hair, perfectly straightened and styled.
"Oh, hello. Yes I am." you respond lightly as she nods.
"Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. Can I offer you a glass of water?" she asks after she points toward the group of women that are waiting. 
"No, thank you." you smile, luckily finding yourself a free spot where you can sit down. 
It's interesting to see different types of interested parties. You notice how each of them are women and you wonder if that was a requirement or it's because of something else. 
Either way, they're all dressed perfectly and definitely put their best effort. Again, Hoseok said this is a good and big company, so it makes sense everyone probably wants to work here. It's not like you don't feel like you don't fit it, even though it's stupid and they most likely want this job just as much as you do. However, some of them look confident and determined to even be here. They came prepared. 
You purely judge it by their confidence that oozes out of them, without them having to talk at all. 
And then there's a few of them that look nervous, even though they try their best to hide it and match other's energy. 
As much as there's Hoseok enthusiasm about his friend giving you the job, nothing's sure and the huge queue just proves it.
You definitely feel like you could relate more to the latter. You're a little nervous and everyone's eyes are on the door when it gets open, another woman getting out of there. She greets the receptionist before walking away with confident steps, her heels clacking against the marble floor.
You gulp, curling your toes in your heels.
You sit there and wait. Not going to lie, you think about pulling out your phone and at least entertaining yourself with the device until it's your turn. However, no one seems to be doing that and you definitely don't want to give an impression that you don't want to be here. You can't be sure.
There are eyes everywhere, including cameras that you've noticed are in every corner. They don't miss anything. Every fuck up there possibly could be, they're going to see.
But it does make sense. They need to be protected.
One thing about you is that you don't like waiting. You can be patient but after a while you get bored. You've watched your surroundings for the past forty minutes – what else is there to do? 
Your boredom is bound to end eventually and when your name is called, you spring onto your feet. They must've sent your information to the receptionist on this floor, since she never asked for your name. But that's the least of your worries when you finally walk toward the other room. Too focused on not stumbling and doing something embarrassing, you focus on your steps until you get inside the room where everyone has been walking out of. 
It's huge.
This is no meeting room or room designed for job interviews. This is an office. A huge one with a freaking seating area. Your mouth is agape as you notice a similar design the whole building has. The only difference is the view over the entire city and little coziness this office has. It's slightly more personal without having any personal pictures or anything – at least that's what you've quickly caught onto. 
It's hard to navigate around the room, you're not sure where to go. 
"Are you going to come in or not?"
A deep voice resounds around the corner making your eyes widen and stomach shrink. Embarrassed of being called out at checking this place out and clearly not moving, you clear your throat and reach the corner.
A man. 
He stands behind a desk, eyes focused down as his fingers briefly touch the stack of paper spreaded on the dark oak desk.
Before you can utter a single word, politely greet whoever this man is, he speaks again.
"Are you mute?"
What the–
"No?" you almost scoff, frowning a little which causes him to finally lift his gaze up.
He stares you up and down, scoffing silently under his breath. His dark eyes are one of the first things you notice on him. Even from a distance, you can make out the dominance in them. He's tall and has broad shoulders which are definitely more defined in the white button-up. The black suit hugs his form perfectly, like it's been designed for him.
You're not stupid. This man is important. And young. He's too young to be the CEO. Don't they have someone on their team to do the job interviews anyway? Whoever he is, he's clearly confident and full of himself. Perhaps you're mistaken but well...
He cocks his brow at you, eyes motioning at the two chairs in front of his desk. He's telling you to get there and sit down. 
You listen, despite your eyes attached to his form as he no longer watches you. He sits down, making himself comfortable as he peeks into the papers. Your full name comes out of his mouth, reading it aloud as the question sits in the air for a moment.
"Yes, that's me." you jump in to answer, not wanting to make this any more awkward.
You're still slightly perplexed by the not so pleasant start. Suddenly, you understand why most of the women out there were nervous. 
While you sit down and have him right in front of you just a few feet away, you try not to stare too much. He is young. He could potentially be Hoseok's friend. 
"Have you brought any documents with you? CV? Documents of your skills and diplomas? Anything?"
Gulping, you nod before you pull out your finished CV that Hoseok has helped you with. 
He takes it from you, flipping through the pages as he stays quiet. His face is hard to read. A frown clouds most of his features and he looks stern. Too stern for such a young male.
He briefly glances at you, while you play with your nails out of his eyesight. God. What was that look for? You know you're not overly qualified and you haven't graduated from a prestigious school. Your hope of getting this job is slowly dying down as he remains quiet before he tosses the papers onto his desk.
He leans back, glancing somewhere above your head as he sighs. "Why do you think you're suitable for this position?"
Okay, you got this. Fuck, you hate this question. You need money, clearly.
"You know, most people don't even get a chance to get to the job interview stage. Not people with your CV and education history."
"Pardon?" Your response is immediate. With an edge to your tone.
However, he is unfazed. 
"Why are you here, Miss–" He stops before glancing at the papers again before saying your surname. 
This dude is fucking–
Forget he's the hottest piece of man you've ever seen. You can tell right out of bat he's arrogant, a little too arrogant. You know he probably has different types of people coming into his office, you're aware your education record isn't something mind-blowing... but he can still be polite and not so rude.
And before your attitude can come to the surface, you remind yourself why you're here.
You need this.
This is your chance.
You've been staying in your AirBnB ever since you came here. Since you have no job yet, you can't exactly rent any place. So you're paying for the apartment that's your temporary home with your saved up money. You need to find a job and then a place to live in as soon as possible. 
"My friend told me about this job. He knows the CEO. Maybe you could ask him, he probably knows of me."
He knows the CEO? Really, Y/N? You stupid–It makes you sound as if you're completely relying on your friend knowing the CEO. Which is not entirely true. Still, you chose your words diplomatically and maybe this man could change his attitude since you're coming from – is it an inner circle? – or in the worst case, he's–
"I'm the CEO."
Of course he is. 
Fuck. 
Isn't he too young to be running this place? 
"Oh," you mutter, "Well, Hoseok mentioned you're looking for an assistant and–"
"And you think just because you know my friend you're suitable for this position?"
"No!" you exclaim, maybe too loudly which has you shut your mouth immediately as a frown makes it onto your face. 
Minus the fact he called Hoseok his friend, when he's your friend too, he sounds almost amused and definitely rude. 
"I had people graduating from Harvard coming in here before you."
Congratulations, you mentally snark.
What does he want you to say? 
I'm sorry I wasn't rich and smart enough to graduate from Harvard? 
"All I meant was that Hoseok mentioned you're looking for an assistant and that I should try it," 
You completely miss out the part where Hoseok was entirely confident he's going to give you the job. From the looks of it, he's far from it. 
"I may not have the greatest experience in this field, or I haven't had the luck to have an outstanding education record, but I'm hard-working and I learn fast."
"Hard-working and learning fast is not enough." he informs you.
"What else is there to do to be an assistant?" you ask, your mouth shutting up once again when you see the look he gives you. Wow, he has a very intense glare. "I mean–what does it require?"
"A lot of things. Executive assistant does not only perform administrative tasks, but there's a lot of research and tasks beside it. Not to mention I need someone I can rely on whenever."
"I'm a reliable person."
"Hoseok's word is not enough." he grits through his teeth.
You frown again, starting to get pissed off at his attitude. "I can prove it to you."
"Why should I give you a chance?"
"So I can prove it to you?" you deadpan, his glare dropping as he scoffs.
"You're awful at answering questions." he notes, mumbling under his breath almost as if it's not aimed for your ears.
But you hear him regardless, pressing your lips together as you straighten yourself. 
There's silence that follows. It lasts long, almost too long so you consider walking out of here. His phone vibrates as he reaches toward the device and sighs eventually. 
He puts his phone to his ear, answering with a dry Yes.
He listens for a moment. Frowning as he leans against his chair and looks at the ceiling.
"Yes, she's here."
Hoseok.
He's calling him. 
That has your attention as the young male whose name remains unknown for now glances back at you. With the same stoic expression, of course.
"Ho–"
He sighs, pinches his brow. He's listening, rolling his eyes here and there while you find it amusing. Though you don't dare to smile or even give him some sort of reaction that he might see.
"You owe me." he grits before ending the call. 
He tosses the phone back where it was, not looking pleased at all.
"I'm doing this because Hoseok is my friend."
You stare, ignoring the way your chest clenches with sadness for some reason. Or maybe it's a disappointment and embarrassment. 
"You have five working days to show me your potential. If you mess up, you're out of here."
While your not old self would tell him (very happily) fuck you, you know this is your chance to prove more things and not just to others, but to yourself as well. Even having this company's name in your CV is going to be a major help. 
"Thank you." you tell him instead, standing up as he snatches your documents off his desk and hands it to you.
You snatch it back, offering him a tight smile when he glares at the obvious attitude. 
"Here's the contract. Read it, do not sign it yet. Just an idea of what's awaiting for you." he explains, standing up. 
You feel like nothing can prepare you for what's awaiting for you. 
"I'll make sure you're not going to regret it. I mean it–I know I'm not the perfect candidate to work in your company, but I'll prove to you with my hard work that I could be. And not only because of Hoseok."
He stays silent, simply watching you. Not looking sold at all. 
But you nudge your ego away and accept the challenge this man might be. 
"Thank you again, Mr..."
His jaw clenches. 
"Jeon."
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The familiar beeping he has grown used to and is a part of his everyday life, rings around his silent office. It rips his attention off the papers in front of him. With a single click, he accepts the call from the front desk on this floor.
"Mr. Jeon, I'm sorry to disturb you but you've got a visitor." The feminine voice that is somehow a part of his everyday life as well resounds. 
Brows pinching together, he stares at the phone with a slightly irritated look. Everyone knows they should not disturb him when he's in the middle of reviewing potential deals. He likes to stay focused. And even Soyeon's automatic apology did nothing.
"I don't have any visits scheduled." he responds, unimpressed and indeed bothered by the interruption. 
The young woman that has been working for him almost since the very beginning keeps herself composed, not showing how intimidated she is by him. 
"I'm aware, sir. But he's saying he's your friend?"
"My friend?" he deadpans. 
There's only one person who could come unannounced, enough to disturb him from–
"Jung Hoseok?" she asks unsurely.
Of course it's Jung Hoseok. 
No one barely comes here for visits. Everyone – and by that he means everyone that knows him personally or professionally – knows he doesn't appreciate visits. Not before his lunch and not even after. He's here to work. 
A sigh makes it past his lips as he scratches his eyebrow. "Send him in."
Despite the lack of visits he barely gets – just because he doesn't want them – he still made sure people that know him are on the list. In case there is some kind of emergency and for some reason can't be contacted. You never know. He takes precautions. 
Jung Hoseok is one of those people on the list. 
But the difference is no one really abuses that kind of privilege that gets him through security. Basically gives him a free pass around the building. 
"I get it from here, sweetheart. Thank you. He's my friend." He hears from behind the door, a chuckle of disbelief makes it out of his lips before his office door is open.
His receptionist stutters over her words but before she can make a proper sentence, his not by much older friend closes the door with a thud. Arms outstretched and wide grin, he stares at him unimpressed. 
"Surprise!" Hoseok chimes, striding toward his desk as if he owns this place.
Even with his presence here, Hoseok doesn't come here often. In fact, he can't remember when was the last time his friend visited him here. But out of people coming here unannounced, Hoseok makes the most sense. 
It can be seen he's not here often, momentarily ripping his gaze off the frowning and intimidating CEO to admire the spacious office. 
"Indeed," he mutters.
"Oh, come on. At least look like you're happy to see me!"
"Why pretend?" he simply asks, the older pursing his lips as he rolls his eyes. "Is there a reason for your... surprising visit?"
"Of course there is," he confirms, slouching himself in one of the chairs. He sighs in content, a look of surprise at how comfortable that chair is. "Alright, I'm sorry for popping in just like that–but I was around and since you barely answer my calls–"
"I'm busy."
"I know you're, Mr. CEO."
He rolls his eyes at Hoseok.
"So I came to you."
"Why? We saw each other last week."
"I'm gonna ignore that comment," he remarks, causing the younger one to shrug. "Anyway. I thought this would be better to discuss in person."
He sighs, leaning against his chair. "Just spit it out. I'm really busy."
"Okay," he says, propping his ankle against his knee as he shakes his foot. A habit of his friend that he noticed a long time ago. "When we were hanging out, you mentioned something about being in need of an assistant."
"What? You wanna be my assistant?" he jokes, amused by the idea. 
Hoseok rolls his eyes and almost flips him off. But then he remembers his visit here has a purpose. He would rather not risk anything. 
"No, Jungkook. I do not want to be your assistant," he emphasizes, causing his lips to curl into an amused grin. "But I know someone that might wanna."
"Hoseok," Jungkook sighs, "I don't want any of your–whoever that might be–in my company."
"What does that mean?" he gasps.
"Your choice of friends or people you know are... questionable."
"Okay, that's actually very rude!" 
Jungkook shrugs. "It's true."
"How did you know I'm talking about my friend?"
"I didn't, I just called them that to keep it respectful."
"It's not one of my hook-ups!"
"Spit it out. I don't have time for this nonsense." Jungkook sighs, staring at the ceiling. Hoseok is really testing his patience. He's hungry and with a lot of work in front of him.
"My friend moved here recently and has been searching for a job. I thought you could give her a chance, I can totally vouch for her."
Jungkook blinks at the ceiling, staring down at his friend without having to move. "What this friend of yours accomplished?"
Hoseok's eyes widen and he almost stutters. "What do you–"
"Her skills? Education?"
Hoseok is the one who just blinks as Jungkook sits up straight with again, unimpressed look. "I'm not employing just anyone here, Hoseok. This is a successful company for a reason."
"Well–I don't know about any of that but I know she's hard-working and–"
"You don't know and you're here asking me to give her a job?"
"I'm asking you to give her a chance." Hoseok corrects.
"Hoseok, you're my friend–I...I don't hate you–" Hoseok glares at him. "But no."
"Jungkook!" he whines.
"I don't know this person and from the looks of it, you don't know either."
"Just because I don't know her entire resume doesn't mean she's a stranger. Just FYI–" He frowns, "But please. Just give her a chance. I need your help."
Jungkook lifts a brow. 
"You know I never ask you for anything."
That one's true. 
Whatever power Jungkook has in his young age – the age of twenty-eight – Hoseok has never asked him for anything. Let alone use him. He's the most valuable friend he has. Not that he would ever say it out loud. Not in usual situations anyway. Hoseok is aware of that.
"She's been trying to get a job ever since she came here. She lives in–"
"I don't care," he interrupts, scratching his forehead as he tries to soothe the wrinkles there that are caused by frowning. "She probably can't find a job because she's just not... good."
"That's not true," Hoseok quickly jumps to remark. "You know how hard it is to find a job nowadays."
It's silent for a few moments.
"Please."
"Don't." Jungkook stops him, closing his eyes.
"Just give her a chance."
He already curses himself mentally for this. Perhaps he feels a little embarrassed for Hoseok.
"Fine."
He cringes when he hears a loud squeal of excitement.
"Just one interview. That's all I can promise you." he informs him firmly.
"Thank you!" Hoseok sits up straight, his sneakers thumping against the floor. 
"Now go, I've got to work."
He doesn't argue, right on his feet as he can't stop grinning at the annoyed man. 
"Soyeon will give you further information." he mumbles under his breath.
"Great! Well, I would ask anyway."
Of course he would. 
"Don't forget to eat."
"Okay, get out now." Jungkook mumbles quickly, ignoring the teasing smirk from his friend as he strides out of his office confidently.
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Hoseok is at your place. If that can be called that.
You're only sure of that because one of the lights stopped working, the bulb burned out. Rather than having to deal with any additional expenses, because you're never too sure and it's better to be safe than sorry, you asked Hoseok if he could come today and change it.
Plus, you need someone to help you with the stress you know your job interview would bring you. And you were goddamn right.
However, that's not the only thing you're bringing with yourself.
Since you gave Hoseok the second card and code to your temporary home, you knew he would be there already. You told him to wait up for you, way before you had the opportunity to meet his friend.
That man can't be anyone's friend. You doubt it.
The moment you get your shoes off and meet Hoseok's sheepish grin, he has no time to react as you reach for one of the cushions and start hitting him repeatedly. He squeals as if his life depends on it, though no real damage is done as your frustration takes over.
"That. Was. Fucking. Awful!" You say with each hit, finally getting the cushion snatched from you as he tosses it back onto the couch behind you.
"What happened?"
Glaring at him, you see it in his eyes. The hidden glints of knowing, even the tiniest tint of apology. 
"Why didn't you tell me he's fucking arrogant and rude?"
His cheeks heaten up as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "He can be rough around the edges, but he's not that bad."
"No!" you yell, "He's even worse!"
"Okay, let's sit down and talk." he tries, giggling nervously as he leads you to sit down.
You do, huffing out as you cross your arms over your chest. The feeling of embarrassment and close to humiliation keeps coming back every time you think about the entire moment you spent in that building. You've never felt more like shit before. He made you question your abilities and skills, judged you by your resume within seconds. He made you feel like you're nothing.
Not mentioning he's not interested in hiring you at all. He made sure to let you know that. 
"Y/N, come on..." Hoseok speaks after a moment, softly and sorry just as he looks.
"Why didn't you tell me? I came there and–" You don't bring yourself to say how hopeful you were when coming there, despite being nervous. "You promised me it's going to be okay." you add way quieter, embarrassed to admit it out loud. 
It sounds childish but Hoseok was the one who sparked hope and confidence in you. He assured you everything is going to work out. Of course you knew it couldn't be all true. There is always a space for failure or something not going according to plan, but this? This is your worst experience in months. Definitely takes the cake for the worst experience here in Seoul. 
"I'm sorry," You hear, his features softening as he squeezes your forearm. "I knew if i told you how he can be, you wouldn't go there. I didn't want you to miss this opportunity."
"What opportunity?" you scoff. 
While you realize he wanted to help, what's the purpose of it if his friend isn't exactly one that wants to help?
"He made me feel stupid."
"No," Hoseok argues, earning a glare from you. He wasn't even there! How can he argue about that? "He's just very selective with his staff."
"Oh, trust me, I figured. I mean, he wasn't exactly secretive about that."
Hoseok nervously laughs and rubs your arms. "But besides that, how did it go?"
"I–" you stop, thinking for a moment. "I don't know if it was me or you, but somehow I convinced him to let me prove myself."
"Y/N, that's amazing!" Hoseok yells excitedly, receiving a pointed look from you.
"I mean... it's worth a shot," you mutter, "But I feel like I'm gonna get fired before stepping in there."
"Listen to me," Hoseok says, scooting closer. Straightening himself, he makes sure you see his persistent features and the seriousness behind them. "You're gonna rock it there. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Jungkook can be difficult and I can't promise he's going to be all sweet, but if you'll do your job well then everything's gonna be fine. Trust yourself."
"Hobi, I trusted myself and coming back from there, I feel like utter shit."
"Come on now..."
"No, you didn't see how he looked at me. He told me people that graduated from Harvard come there looking for a job. Do you get it? Harvard. Or a fucking Yale!"
"Yeah..." he mumbles, "I told you he's successful. So is his company."
"No shit."
Hoseok chuckles, "That doesn't change the fact that you're good. You'll get better."
Nibbling on your bottom lip, you feel panic arising at the thought of going back there. You don't have a choice though. You can't live here for any longer and you need a job desperately. 
"You're the only one that thinks this. And sorry, but that's not enough."
What you mean is that it won't affect his friend's decision in any way. Hoseok is no help at the moment. He got you the job interview which of course has helped, and you will let him know that as soon as your panic fades away a bit. But from now on, it's just you. 
You'll need to prove yourself.
To wipe that arrogant look from Jeon's face.
You were up for a challenge, but this one seems to be the biggest yet. 
Hoseok laughs at your words, knowing very well what you mean. Trying to light up the mood, he pokes your side with his elbow. "I'll beat him up if he's gonna treat you wrong."
"Sorry but from the looks of it, it seems like you're the one who would get his ass beaten."
Snickering at Hoseok's loud gasp – the one you know its purpose is to lighten up the mood once again – you can admit that out loud. The arrogant prick has muscles on him. You could see it from behind that desk alone.
"I'm prepared to take the risks from you." he jokes, teasing you.
"Oh, shut up!"
He laughs loudly, the ringing sound causing your lips to twitch. All the amusement is gone as his face pops up in front of you again. So are you reminded of the negative experience you unfortunately went through not even an hour ago. 
"No offense to your friend, but he's a fucking asshole." you spit, not even thinking of how Hoseok can feel about you cursing at his supposedly friend. You should've been more considerate but rather than being met with offended Hoseok, you hear his laugh again.
"Well, sorry to say this but you need this asshole."
The worst part of it is that he's absolutely right.
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You made sure no disaster would happen from the beginning. Like for example, waking up late on your first day of work. Just to be safe, you set up around four alarms to make sure you won't be late.
Besides not eating anything from all the nerves, you've received an encouraging message from Hoseok who puts a lot of faith in you. At least someone does. You certainly stopped the moment you met Mr. Jeon.
Or Jungkook. Like Hoseok calls him.
It feels weird to put a proper name on him. First name, is what you mean. It's weird to even call him by it in your head. There's undeniable respect (or a fear) you have of him. Even by talking to him for a few minutes, it seems like he's going to pop up the moment you call him by his first name in your mind. 
With an empty stomach, minus the glass of water you gulped down before leaving, you get on your way to Jeon Investments Inc. The ride in a cab is full of anxiety and no matter how many times you try to steady your breathing, you feel like you're on the verge of a panic attack. Even the poor driver seems to be concerned as he asks you if you're okay. 
Turns out, after you read the contract once you found the courage, there might be a lot of things you're not prepared for. Minus all the professional terms and conditions you're supposed to comply with, you feel lost. Utterly lost. And fucked.
You've got many questions. Once you ask, you know you will come out as inexperienced and even dumb. Being an assistant is not just taking calls and dealing with emails. That much you understood after reading the ten pages of a very professionally and legally written contract. 
There is so much expected from you and being truthfully honest, you're not sure if you can make it. 
Curiosity got the best of you and after gulping down a whole glass of beer – let's ignore the fact you bought it to yourself even despite your financial state – you of course, googled your boss. Can you even call him that yet? Is he officially your boss? No contract has been signed. Mr. Jeon made sure of it. 
There are many articles about Jeon Jungkook. Most of it is just boring and professional stuff. It contains the same information – and there are not that many to begin with – but from the looks of it, it seems like Mr. Jeon is one lucky fucker. Has been born into a wealthy family and like in the famous books and movies, has inherited the family company. The man is practically swallowed in money.
He's successful. And well known amongst business people. Surely, he's no stranger in this particular circle of people.
But at least this is different from all the books and money. Because even though he's successful and has many official photos from different events, he's no celebrity. His life is purely private and no one digs in it. Which is probably for the best for him. This man is practically mysterious.
You're reminded by your conversation with Hoseok after you calmed down after your breakdown. 
"How did you even meet a guy like him?"
"Jungkook? Ah, I've known him since he was a kid. You could say we're a distant family."
"What?!" You screeched at the thought of it. And you have no idea why. 
How did you find out about it only now?
"Well, my great aunt actually married Jungkook's mom's cousin?" He questioned almost unsurely as he frowned in thought before he nodded. "Yeah. It's a little mixed up and we're not really blood related but yeah."
Thinking about it now, it makes sense. 
Where else would Hoseok meet someone like him? Without a doubt, he must've attended some private college and surely, all types of schools before that. God, he's definitely one of those people that were in a private daycare! You can only assume and you don't want to put any stereotypes on him, but based on what you know about him, he lives a different life than you and most people for sure. 
Who owns millions worth company at the age of––How old is he? 
That's something you forgot to ask Hoseok. 
The cab ride is awfully fast. Which you should be glad for. You're ten minutes earlier which is definitely better than being late. Plus, it will take you some time to get to the top floor. Especially if you'll have to go through the same process with security like before.
You do. 
The security makes you do the same routine like you had to go through when you first got here. It is their job and you fully understand that, though you're a little annoyed when they eye you as if you're carrying a gun underneath all your clothing. After all of that is done and you do have to inform your arrival at the front desk, you're finally allowed to go on the lift. 
You're not even sure if you work at the same floor where Mr. Jeon is, but guess you will find out. Despite your inner nerves and anxiety crawling up your throat, you try to appear confident as if you're not ten seconds from a mental breakdown. 
Your presence is luckily ignored, everyone seems to be on their way to work as most of them exchange greetings. Since you don't know anyone and you're not familiar with any of their faces, you remain silent unless you share eye contact with someone. You have no problem politely greeting anyone. It does put you a little at ease when most employees give you the tiniest tilt of a smile. 
The floor that you're slightly familiar with is less empty than you remember it to be, but there are still a few people walking down the halls. Getting to the front desk, you wait up there when you find it empty. Not trying to get nervous because of it, you keep looking around. You definitely look out of place. No doubt there. 
Someone gets out of the backroom and the female you're already familiar with, gets behind the desk. It doesn't take too long for her to notice you and when her eyes fall upon you, you make sure to greet her and explain why you are here. 
You're not sure if she's informed of your purpose here but she nods regardless.
"Mr. Jeon is not expected to arrive for the next hour. But that doesn't concern you, at least not now. First, we have to give you an attire."
Oh, that's right. 
Everyone has a certain dress code and since you haven't received any clothes, or instruction what to wear, you wore something work appropriate. Something similar you wore to the job interview.
"Come with me." she says with a little smile, motioning you to follow her as she leads you down the hall. 
She stops, pulling out a card from her pocket as she attaches it to the scanner. 
Opening one of the doors that is similar to the next dozen ones you've passed by, you walk inside. It's a small sized room, compared to the big halls and enormous office you were interviewed in. There's nothing special about it, though you wonder what this room is for. Besides a transparent circle shaped glass table and tall sized dressers, there's not much in here. 
Still, the room is designed well and goes with the rest of the company's aesthetic. In the corner you notice a small kitchen cabinet. There is a coffee machine and a table next to the cabinet with two stools. It seems like a breakroom but you're not sure. It seems... small compared to what this company is. 
The drawer being open is heard as the female that is yet to be introduced to you, asks your size. You answer her and watch in awe as she pulls out clothing. 
"Do you prefer pants or a skirt?"
A little taken aback, you look at her and notice her wearing a skirt. Well, you did shave your legs. "Skirt." you respond before thinking it through. 
"You can wear whatever is more comfortable to you. Mr. Jeon isn't too stern about women wearing skirts and it's completely up to us. Of course, you can change it whenever you want. You don't have to wear skirts all the time," she explains as she sets the pile of clothing that matches everyone's attire on the glass table. 
"You can wear your set of clothes too, they don't have to be company's. Some employees prefer wearing this since it saves money. But you're free to buy and wear your own clothes as long as it meets our dress code. Nothing too revealing and in the dark colors, so black or dark blue,"
You try to give attention to every word she says and you desperately let too much information sink in. Her mouth just won't stop.
"The heels you've on are fine. That isn't provided by the company, though we do have some emergency options in the dresser there," She points at one of the dressers. "You buy your own heels, that is something the company gives you money for every two months. It's added as an extra in your paycheck."
Luxury. 
"This room is not an official break room. That's somewhere else, I can take you there," She says when she glances at her watch. "This is mainly just an emergency room when you need to change clothes. It's almost like a storage room. But you can come here and make yourself coffee. I prefer to do that sometimes because it's close to my desk and it's less crowded. No one really comes in here. It's not used as much."
You nod as she glances around.
"The windows are tinted, so no one can see inside. So don't worry about the lack of curtains. You can change your clothes here, it's safe."
"Thank you."
"Very well then. I'll let you get changed. You can put your clothes back in that dresser in the corner and get them back when you clock off."
"Okay, thank you."
And with that, she spins on her heels and walks out of the room. She closes the door after her to give you some privacy. Not wasting any time, you quickly change your clothes and do everything based on what information she told you. The clothes fit and surprisingly, it's very comfortable as well. 
Your hands caress the material of your skirt and without doubt, it's clearly expensive.
Adjusting your hair, you walk out of the room to find her waiting for you. Once she sees you, she wastes zero time and starts leading you elsewhere. You have a lot to catch on.
She briefly starts pointing at the countless doors, explaining what's behind them. As much as you listen to her and try to remember everything she's saying, there's no way you will remember all of it by the time she's done. 
Passing through the glassed big room with a long table and dozens of chairs, she introduces it as one of the meeting rooms. 
"It's the most used one. Big meetings and contracts are signed there." 
There is also a big projector screen on one side of the wall with the greatest view of the city. 
She points to restrooms, not wasting time in going in there as she reminds you there's not much time. 
This girl is like a robot. She says everything fast and there's no hint of doubt or anything. You wonder how long it took her to learn everything. There really is no way someone is able to know all of this in a day. But rather than being met with any sign of empathy, she keeps showing you around and throwing new information on you from every side. 
"As you might have noticed, I work at the front desk on this floor. We will mainly work together, but your job as an assistant is closer to Mr. Jeon. Whatever you will have to deal with and prepare, I will inform you about. It's your job to make sure it runs smoothly."
She says as you follow behind her, trying to match her fast and long strides. 
Oh god, you can't do this. And you're not talking about walking fast in high heels. 
"Now this," she says, close to her desk and across from Mr. Jeon's office, before she opens the door. "is your office."
You both walk inside. Immediately met with the luxurious interior, you stare at the beige and goldish furniture that despite the color, it all seems minimalistic and clean. The entire room smells nice, and is definitely cleaner thoroughly. There's a white desk and behind it is the entire wall of long shelves with binders sorted most likely alphabetically. Even the shelves are backlit with LED lights. Since the entire building is covered in windows, there is an amazing view on your right side as you stand in front of the desk. 
"This will be your workplace. You will handle all calls, emails and everything of that sort here. Of course, you will be required to move around the building, so this place is mostly for you to handle the things where you need some peace and quiet."
"Wow," you manage to say. "This office is beautiful."
There are even nice plants in matching pots that make this place more alive.
"It sure is," she hums, "I don't think you will use it that much though."
You look at her a little confusingly. "Well, it's mainly for those calls and emails. You have tons of other work to do."
You don't get the courage to ask for more information. At least not now when you barely have enough time to blink.
"Follow me."
She leads you further down the hall, knowing every corner like the back of her hand as she greets passing by coworkers automatically. Some of them steal a curious look at you, but their prying eyes are long forgotten when your focus is elsewhere. 
"Saja," The woman calls out, stopping between the huge door frame. 
Across her shoulder, you notice a spacious room with multiple tables and stools around them. This has to be the break room she told you about before. The scent of morning coffee mixed with freshness hits your nose, the freshness that floats in the air through the entire building. 
One of the employees turns around, her gaze falling on her colleague shortly after as she excuses herself and walks up to the two of you. You notice she looks at you for a short period, mainly keeping her focus on the woman in front of you.
"Could you please show–I'm sorry, what was your name again?" she asks, glancing across her shoulder as her apologetic eyes fall down on you.
Ignoring the pinch of embarrassment, your name fills the short silence that is shared between the three of you. 
"You don't mind me calling you by your first name?" she assures.
"No, that's fine." you respond, hoping all of you can be at least friendly with each other. She did call the other woman by her first name. 
"Great," she takes a breath as she turns back facing – was it Saja? "I need you to explain to Y/N what's expected from her, especially today. I showed her around, so I hope–" She glances back at you, "You slightly know your way around."
Saja nods, clearly knowing this beforehand because her reaction is not full of surprise. In fact, there's zero surprise.
"She's your responsibility right now," She reminds her and even though Saja nods, you see her brows slightly raised in a mere annoyance. "Don't forget, Mr. Jeon expects everything to run smoothly."
"Of course." she says.
The woman that has shown you around turns to you, her lips close to a soft smile but her mind seems to be elsewhere. Clearly she's rushing to go back to work, at least you assume that is the reason for her abruptness. When she glances at her watch, it confirms your suspicion. 
"Well, good luck on your first day."
"Thanks–" You stop, giving her a questioning look when you realize you don't know her name. She hasn't introduced herself to you.
Whether the realization hits her at the lack of introduction on her side, she doesn't show it and offers you a simple answer.
"Soyeon."
"Thank you, Soyeon."
"Just listen to Saja here, she will explain the rest to you. And don't stress too much."
That's easier said than done. 
"Any advice?" you ask, chuckling nervously as she gives you a sympathetic look.
"Don't mess up."
Your mouth falling open and a total despair dominating your features, you watch Soyeon wave at you before she scurries away. You swear your heart just dropped and the stress of not being able to do this comes up to you in a bigger intensity. 
Though you seem panicked and not present, you do notice Saja's eyes scanning you from head to toe as she clears her throat. Looking at her, she motions you to join her in the room. Ignoring all eyes on you, you focus on her as she leads you toward the kitchen counter. 
"Mr. Jeon comes at half past eight every morning. Occasionally an hour earlier, so you should always be prepared for that just in case,"
What are you supposed to do? Spread a red carpet for him?
"By the time he comes here, he needs to have his schedule ready for him. You also do that a day prior, sending him his schedule electronically. But you still need to have everything ready the day he comes in, so this means all papers and other details that he needs to check over or have it prepared for him."
You nod along with her explanation as if you've done this before. 
"The assistant before you had that prepared for you, so you don't have to do it today. But it is expected of you to do that tomorrow and from now on,"
"Okay."
"Mr. Jeon doesn't like someone coming inside his office when he's not there. But as his assistant, he prefers all the documents to be on his desk, fully prepared and ready for him, when he gets there. That's where Soyeon comes, she's going to inform you Mr. Jeon entered his office and that's when you bring his morning coffee to him."
Is he a king or a boss?
Mr. Jeon seems like the biggest menace already. 
"Are you listening to me?" she frowns.
"I am, it's just too much information and I'm trying to process it."
You're not met with an ounce of empathy as she scowls at you as if you've done something wrong. That leaves you a little bitter but you don't let it show. You simply just stare at her, a knowing glint in your eyes when you're clearly not scared by her little attitude. What did she expect? Was she I Know It All when it was her first day?
This is insane. 
There's no way anyone that comes to work on their first day knows everything. Not to mention even if that person has experience in this field, every company is different. Every boss is different. Every boss requires something different.
"You better learn fast then. Mr. Jeon doesn't like slackers."
Frowning again, this time you can't fully hide it as you give her a look. Did she call you slacker just because you don't know everything? Which is absolutely fine because Hello, it's your first day here!
She glances at the wall to check the time on a big circled clock that is attached to the wall. Wow, even the clock looks fancy!
Oh shit, she's walking away. Quickly catching up to her, she starts showing you the coffee machine. Automatically, she prepares the cup and barely gives you any time to fully grasp what buttons she's pressing.
"Mr. Jeon should arrive any minute. Soyeon will let you know and you'll bring coffee to him. Along with the papers that are on your desk, I'll show you which ones."
"Won't the coffee turn cold?"
He's not here, he is supposed to arrive. You might not well Mr. Jeon well but he seems like the type to get annoyed when his coffee is cold. And judging by Saja's pause, he most likely is and your guess has been right. 
"If he comes later, you'll just make him another one." 
Mentally shaking your head at the ridiculously over some coffee, she motions for you to grab the cup as she ushers you out of the break room. You try not to spill it, matching her pace as she gets inside your now office in long strides as she opens the door fast and wide. You even passed Soyeon's reception desk but you were rushing to even notice her.
She tosses the stack of documents onto your paper. Ready to walk out, you stop her abruptly by quickly saying; "Thank you!"
She stops, barely giving you a glance across her shoulder as her light hair shines in the natural lightning. She styled it in a neat ponytail that makes her look super professional. 
And with that, she leaves with no words.
She lets the door open, not even closing it behind her as you stare at the door frame where she was standing just seconds ago. Blinking and swallowing down the irritation, you place the steaming hot coffee on your desk. Careful not to spill it over the documents. That would be truly a horror scenario. 
Sighing, you rub your forehead softly, trying not to rub off any make-up you put there. You tuck strands of hair behind your ears, cursing yourself for not putting it up. 
The beeping sound comes from the desk, causing you to jump in surprise as you look around. It's coming from an office phone and you quickly rush to it. You stare at the multiple buttons and touch screen. Logically, you pick up the actual phone and put it to your ear.
Before your mouth opens, Soyeon's voice already reaches your ears.
"Mr. Jeon just entered his office. You have his coffee ready?"
Glancing at the steaming hot coffee, you answer. "Yes."
"Perfect," she sighs, almost in relief. "Oh, not sure if Saja told you but there's an iPad in one of the drawers in your desk. We all have one. That's going to be your best friend from now on."
"Oh, okay, thank you."
In fact, Saja did not tell you about it.
You've got so many questions about the stupid iPad. What's it for? Why do you need to use it? But before you can actually ask anything, Soyeon tells you one last thing before ending the call.
"You better get him the coffee now. Mr. Jeon doesn't like waiting."
Mr. Jeon can go fuck himself. 
Still, you carefully grab the cup of coffee and the documents. Trying to balance it in both of your hands is no joke, but you somehow manage as you rush out of your office. Passing by Soyeon who's on the call, your eyes meet but there's no time for any sort of interaction besides that as you knock at Mr. Jeon's office door. 
"Just get in, he knows it's you." Soyeon whisper yells at you, a hand covering the phone's microphone.
Aren't you supposed to knock? Fuck, you're going to fuck this up so badly.
You can barely open the heavy door, but again, you surprise yourself by managing to do that without any damage done. Being back in this office brings memories but there's no time to dwell on it, not when you have a job to do. 
You see him.
The suit jacket being tossed over the couch that's pressed against the wall, right next to the massive windows. He stands tall, wearing a black button-up with slacks that match his suit jacket. You don't look too much, setting this down onto his desk just as he reaches it and sits behind it. 
When you look at him, you notice the look he gives you.
A look of disbelief that you're really here. He definitely thought you would give up.
But rather than give him that satisfaction – and the fact you need this job – you send him a smile. "Good morning."
You're pleased with yourself. Maybe you caught him off guard by having everything prepared for him. Well, they said he needs these two things from you today and you've managed to do it. That sounds like a success, right? 
"What is this?" he asks, ignoring your greeting like the arrogant prick he is.
He stares at the cup of coffee, annoyance overshadowing his entire features. And you thought he already looked annoyed.
"Your coffee?" you ask dumbly. 
Confused of why he's even asking, you notice his jaw clenching before he looks away to take a deep breath. Breath to regain patience. One he doesn't seem to have. 
"Is this a joke?"
Your eyes widen, a lump creating in your throat as you stare at his cold demeanor. "Pardon?"
"I don't drink macchiato."
How were you supposed to fucking know that? 
"I'm sorry–I didn't–"
You didn't make it. You didn't know.
But he's not interested in your apology. Nor witnessing you being a stuttering mess.
"Black. No sugar." Is all he says through clenched teeth.
Is this a fucking coffee shop?
His eyes are on your hands as you carefully grab the failed coffee. You have a feeling as if he's going to attack you any second and even such a detail like him glaring at your hands seems intimidating.
Sighing, he ignores your presence as he pulls the documents you brought him closer, opening one of them.
With a clenched jaw, you walk out of his office in complete embarrassment and anger. It feels like you're going to cry and you surprise yourself that you already feel this way. This day could not be worse. 
You've managed to already fail and fuck it up, right in front of Mr. Jeon. 
Luckily, Soyeon is not at her desk when you pass by. Finding the right way to a break room, there are less people there than before. Everyone has gone to work.
"What are you doing?" Soyeon suddenly walks in, an iPad in her hands. "Please don't tell me you haven't brought Mr. Jeon his coffee. I saw you walking in there."
Biting the inside of your cheek, you mutter through clenched teeth. "Wasn't the coffee he wanted."
"You got his coffee wrong?" she shrieks as if it's the end of the world.
Preventing yourself from rolling your eyes at the dramatics, you rather explain it. "I wasn't the one who made it. Saja did without telling me what coffee he drinks."
Soyeon stares and you don't know what to think of her look. Does she think you're accusing her that this is her fault? Well, it sort of is but they're colleagues. You don't want to make enemies here. So you nervously chuckle and quickly add;
"She probably got it mixed up."
Soyeon walks closer, helping you to navigate your way with the machine as you silently thank her. 
"She knows Mr. Jeon's coffee preference." Is all she says before she gives you a knowing look, walking away with a sympathetic scrunch of her brows. 
As the coffee pours and the sound of it fills the silence, you stare at the city view. 
She purposely gave you the wrong coffee.
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Soyeon never specifically said Saja has set you up. She didn't directly hint at it and perhaps it's just been your rash judgment. Reminded again that this is only your first day here and you don't know anything or anyone, perhaps she made a mistake. That could be the case too. Though you feel bad for thinking the worst, which stems from the fact people are assholes, you focus on doing a good job from now on.
Not that the previous mistake was really your fault. 
You're that kind of person who tries to set the record straight no matter what. So this bothers you even now, but Mr. Jeon definitely doesn't care about any of your explanations. The warning look he gives you when you bring him the right coffee shuts you up immediately. 
Plus, it could all be just a mistake and you wouldn't want to make any accusations over a stupid coffee choice. You haven't graduated from Harvard as Mr. Jeon was so kind to remind you, but you're not dumb. You're not going to make enemies – nor you ever want to. But dealing with not so important things on your first day is not it. Even if your ego and tendency for justice is highly bruised. 
When you're back in your office, you try to make sense of all the papers and documents. There's no one exactly guiding you for it. Turns out the iPad that has been given you shows you Mr. Jeon's schedule. It must've been done by the previous assistant. Everything is neat and in order. You can do that.
You're in the middle of reviewing the device, trying to see how things were previously done so you could do your best, when your phone rings again. You click on the touch screen, staring wide-eyed when it comes to life and Soyeon's voice fills the silence.
"Hey, Mr. Jeon has a meeting at ten. Your presence there is needed."
It's almost embarrassing how your stomach churns at that information – and especially at the thought of it. Being in a meeting full of wealthy men? What are you supposed to do there?
"May I ask why?" you ask – nervously – because you're not sure what you're supposed to do there. 
You've read the contract. First of all, there is too much information for you to remember all of it. Accompanying Mr. Jeon to meetings among other things is one of them, that much you remember. 
"You won't accompany him to all his meetings. This one's big, so you're mostly there to take additional notes and whatever Mr. Jeon tells you."
Is he going to tell you? Because it seems like he expects you to know everything right off the bat. Though you keep that snarky remark to yourself. 
"You just need to be present and actually listen."
A few minutes later, after being navigated by Soyeon to the big meeting room she had shown you earlier, it turns out you were actually right. The room is filled with men wearing suits that scream rich and regardless of their clothing, you can tell they're important. Their age differs, it's a good mixture of young and elders. You do find some comfort when there are two other women there as well. Though, you have no idea what's their purpose or if they're one of the investors, the meeting happens after the official greeting.
They take turns. Setting up their presentations as they continue to speak about either theirs or someone else's business. You're not sure what you're supposed to take notes of. In fact, Mr. Jeon hasn't spoken to you since he successfully ignored your presence here.
He sits at the head of the long table, dark eyes settled on whoever is presenting, listening to them carefully. He has documents settled in front of him, which you soon figure out are the other investors' plans. Whatever they're presenting to him, he has in front of him on paper. You quickly note the nervousness that some men, older than Mr. Jeon for sure, show and truthfully, you don't blame them.
It feels weird to be seated behind the same table as them. You sit on the right side of Mr. Jeon. After a while, he leans back and makes himself more comfortable. Your attention is put on him, noticing he's been playing with a pen, twirling it between his long fingers. Are those rings? You quickly look away, cursing at yourself over and over again. 
Well, it's no secret this arrogant fucker is hot. You haven't had the chance to properly... look at him. The dominance oozes out of him which makes him slightly intimidating. Or maybe it's a mixture of his stern and cold exterior.
You're not a fan of him. That much is clear but none of that is important. You don't need to be one. You just need this job and stupidly said, the money that comes with it. If having to put up with someone full of himself like Mr. Jeon, you will have to endure it. At least until you'll be able to find another job. Having an experience in this company would open many doors for you for sure.
Look at you. 
Here you are thinking of this when no contract has been signed yet. 
A notification pops on your iPad and you stare for a moment before looking around. Are you allowed to look? It's not your personal iPad, it's not like whatever there is is your personal stuff, it must be work related. Before the screen can darken again, you check it. It's a file you open, trying to look as discrete as you can. Everyone's listening to Mr. Choi (if you remember the name in his presentation well), so you quickly take a peek. 
It's a file with everyone's name and the name of their business and presentation. Some of them are marked with a cross and others with a questioning mark. Frowning a little in confusion, you look around. Your breath hitches as soon as you find Mr. Jeon staring at you from your side. 
His stare is cold as ever, his eyes not faltering as you realize. He's the one who has sent you this. You're not sure why you send him a soft nod, silently telling him that you understood.
No reaction comes from him and his attention is directed back to the presenting man.
It continues like this. As the man comes and goes to switch places at the presenting spot and in front of a huge screen, Mr. Jeon slowly sends you his decisions. It's the only communication between you. 
As the meeting continues, you mostly take the notes for yourself as you separate the projects based on Mr. Jeon's previous marks. It's mostly to keep it more neat for you. You're not sure what you're supposed to do with it, but you'll find out from either Soyeon or Mr. Jeon himself. If not, you're just going to have to ask. You're not a fucking mind reader.
All presentations roughly take two hours, you swear your butt has no feeling from all the sitting. Your stomach is empty and it feels like you've lost your butt, it intensifies when you stand up. Mr. Jeon shakes his hand with the others, giving them one last greeting before he walks out of the room. You rush to catch up to him.
Your heels clink beside him as he's aware of your presence. He has to be. Yet he doesn't even spare you a glance as he stops at the elevator and clicks on the button. The elevator door opens immediately, a little surprised how hectic and fast everything seems, you take your place a little behind him.
"I want their presentations sorted out."
Oh my god.
Maybe this day is not going to be so bad after all. 
With a little smugness spreading in your chest, you confidently state; "I've already done that. I'll send it to you."
And then he glances behind him, right back at you as he makes sure you see the lift on his brow. Does he not believe you? Is he impressed? It's so hard to make out what he's thinking. He's definitely a very hard person to be around with. Hoseok deserves a golden medal for putting up with him. 
Irritated by his reaction, with swift taps to your screen, a sound of email being sent fills the elevator.  
You plaster a fake smile at him, making sure he sees it as you softly say. "Already done."
His features harden as he turns around. "I'm staying in for lunch today."
"Okay?" you ask unsurely.
You hear him taking a breath, but you can't see his face since he's not facing you. But he's undoubtedly irritated by your unprofessional response or at all, by your presence. 
"Have you not done any research?" he snarks.
Taken back for a second, you quickly shake yourself out of it. "I have not been informed about your lunch, no."
"Careful, Miss Y/L/N. You're already off to a bad start."
Before you can open your mouth and inform him that the bad start wasn't your fault at all, he doesn't seem to care as he stops you with his palm lifted in the air. His fingers slightly curled as his rings shine.
"This time make sure the coffee is black, or you'll be out of here faster than you can spell coffee."
Opening your mouth at the audacity, luckily for you he turns around right after as the elevator dings and informs you of the floor. He walks out and leaves, leaving you there with an open mouth and anger rising. Before the elevator door can close again, you quickly make it out of there and walk toward your office, hoping your walk doesn't come as aggressive as you feel.
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Turns out Mr. Jeon also sends his preference for lunch and it's one of your duties to get it for him. Among all the information Soyeon has been able to give you, one of them is that you either have to get it ordered or get it personally. She explained it when you were on your way to get his freaking black coffee. It's dark just like his personality is.
You might not be an assistant before – you knew getting him things like this would be your responsibility and well, job as well. Mr. Jeon wants this and that. Mr. Jeon prefers it like this. Mr. Jeon doesn't like that.
It hasn't been even a full day of you working, yet you feel like you want to strangle that man. He has power, everything around you, in here, is his. He can afford getting this kind of service and you're paid for it.
Perhaps it's your own irritation that is simply caused by the mentioned man, but you feel more like his slave than an assistant. 
Luckily, he chose Italian for his lunch today and Soyeon helped you in showing his favorite restaurant. How she knows all of that about him is beyond you. Anyway, they could get it delivered just in time, so it's kind of your lucky day. All you have to do is to get downstairs and out of the building to take it. Plus bring it straight to his office, of course. 
"There are a few restaurants that take time to get it delivered, or sometimes they are so busy that they can't get it delivered in Mr. Jeon's scheduled lunch time. That's when you have to get it for him instead."
It's what she told you when she was clicking Mr. Jeon's order.
"There is also a car in the garage that's for this purpose. When you need to run some errands to be exact." 
That freaked you out. 
You're new. Not just here but in this city. You don't know its streets and even though you don't doubt the car has navigation, you're a little stressed about that. But can you show it? No. You don't need anyone doubting you.
Nerves are calmed down when you get your boss his lunch and everything runs smoothly. He gets his pasta and even though he barely acknowledges you, it's a success. 
One of the things you always worried about when coming to a new job is being left out. Being in a new collective is never easy and it can be nerve wrecking for obvious reasons. So when Soyeon suggests you join her for lunch, you relax and happily agree. 
It becomes your chance to meet – as you could say – your colleagues. They're welcoming and curious, asking you how you ended up in the city. For a moment it seems like you're a new attraction and despite all the attention on you, you prefer they engage you in their conversation. Even though you're the main topic of it. 
Saja is there as well. You still don't know what to think of the whole coffee situation, but she seems at ease and not looking as if she was aware of her mistake. 
"So, how do you like it here, newbie?" Max, the tallish dark haired guy with sharp eyes and prominent features asks.
"It's her first day." One of the women whose name you can't remember points out.
Max gives her a look, "So? She already feels about it somehow, right?"
He looks at you, and so do the rest of them as you're just trying to enjoy your beef broth. "It's been slightly stressful, but it's my first day. So I'm just trying to remember everything."
"Honestly, we all have been through that. First days are never easy." The woman speaks again as Soyeon shrugs while Saja reapplies her lip tint.
"Ah, the pressure to not fuck up is tough, right?" Max complains as if he's the one that's been through the most stressful day. Well, he might have. You never know.
"Max." Soyeon warns him.
"What? We're not in the company." He rolls his eyes which amuses you as Soyeon glares at his audacity to roll his eyes at her. 
"I can't imagine being Mr. Jeon's assistant. The pressure must be a lot." The woman says again, her short hair barely reaching the top of her shoulders as she pouts slightly. 
"What are you talking about? Mr. Jeon is a great boss." Saja says, twisting the lip tint close as she puts it into her purse.
"I never said he's not great," But you can. While she remarks at Saja to correct her, she simply shrugs. "I just mean the pressure is even bigger considering his assistant works with him the most."
"I could do it any day." Saja says confidently.
Your and Max's eyes meet for a brief moment, his lips twitch slightly but he seems to not react much. You're slightly curious about his reaction, though you act like you haven't seen it as you continue enjoying your soup. 
"Good luck to you, really," The woman says, "Have you managed to mess something up?"
You swallow down the broth, straightening yourself as you clear your throat. They all stare at you expectedly, the table quieting down. Oh god. "I, ah, I mean is nothing big, at least I think."
They stare even more and you mentally roll your eyes before muttering under his breath.
"I got him the wrong coffee." 
Soyeon turns her head at you, staring and for a moment you think she's silently scolding you. Not that you care, they can all fuck off. You've had a rough day and it hasn't even ended. While the woman stares at you in empathy, Max goes back to eating. 
"I mean it's not that bad." she adds, voicing her empathy. 
"Was he mad?" Max asks. 
"Well," you hesitate, cocking your head to the side. "He wasn't happy for sure."
"Oh poor you." The woman whines as if you're destined for death.
And that's when you glance at Saja. She stares and that's when you know she realizes. You're silent, not really sure if you want to throw her under the bus. It's also a great opportunity to see how she's going to react. She clearly saw your look. It's a silent communication between you.
She clears her throat, "Oh? Was that the wrong one?" 
"Yeah." you deadpan.
"Sorry about that." Is all she says as the conversation drifts to a different topic. You enjoy your meal, finally getting some food into your empty stomach. 
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After you're back from lunch break, you get back into sinking as much information as you can on your own. Which means – exploring the new device that has been given to you, along with basic information about Mr. Jeon's meetings, schedule and even the emails he has sent. For a certain time being, you feel utterly lost. Not that's not any news.
You try to not let yourself lose in the craziness and hecticness this company seems to be holding. Everyone seems to work automatically, not mentioning they're synchronized like the greatest machine there could exist. Except, they're all human and perhaps they forget you're one too. Or maybe they just expect you to know everything and jump into this work. Is it possible?
Between the chunks of time you seem to have, you doubt yourself and your abilities. It's not the actual work you doubt. It's the fact that everyone and everything seems to run smoothly and fast, while you're left in your own chaos in the tallest and biggest building on this street. 
Though, you're not as useless as your doubts and anxiety might've made you feel. You get a hang of Mr. Jeon's schedule and work plan. At least most of it. 
This man is busy. Not the usual busy. 
He has meetings every day. It doesn't matter whether they're long or short, it takes most of his time. There is a bunch of material and stuff that needs to be prepared for him – every day – and he has to get through it all. 
No wonder the man is so bitter.
With so much work on his shoulders, you would fuck the money and end this business.
Perhaps, that's why you're not the millionaire here. 
Chuckling at your ridiculous thoughts, you're in the middle of checking the mailbox when the phone rings. Recognizing the four code number, you realize it's Soyeon and you already brace yourself for whatever dumb requests might Mr. Jeon has this time. 
"There is Mr. Kang on the line, he wants to schedule a meeting." 
"Okay–" 
Before you can ask her anything quickly, there's a beep sound before a male's voice resounds in the speaker. Greeting him politely, the call runs smoothly as Mr. Kang seems to be very easy going and helps you navigate yourself even without him knowing. 
You check Mr. Jeon's schedule, noticing Mr. Kang is already one of his partners and it turns out, Mr. Jeon has invested a lot of money into his entertainment business. As he tells you and requests, your boss' presence is needed and it's not a meeting that could be done directly in the company. That's why you choose the day where his schedule is not as crazy. 
You're not sure if you've scheduled it right but Mr. Kang seems to be pleased either way. The call ends shortly after and you're left in silence. Leaning back in your chair, you sigh in relief.
That wasn't so bad. 
With upcoming calls, there are numbers straight up calling you but thanks to the call with Mr. Kang, you already know what to expect. You schedule a few meetings here and there, making sure you make reminders for Mr. Jeon. Some of them had to be added or pushed forward. You're not sure if you're doing well, but you're going with your intention. You'll soon find out anyway. 
Surprisingly, the rest of the days goes like this and your brain is focused on doing the job, rather than stressing over everything. It keeps you pleasantly busy, or perhaps it's because there's no one that brags in here and pours hundreds of new information on you. 
You barely see your boss. He's mostly locked in his office, preferably not wanting to be disturbed – something you quickly pick on. Or maybe it's your assumption because how else would you know? You've been locked in your office (not literally) and doing (hopefully) your job. 
Though, he asks you to bring him one of the old contracts between one of his partners. You search for it, but luckily the previous assistant kept things neat. Therefore, you haven't spent too long searching for it and probably testing Mr. Jeon's patience. 
When you come into his office, after announcing yourself of course with a gentle knock, he taps into his laptop barely giving you any sort of gaze. You're used to it by now. Even though he seems to be busy, you still mentally roll your eyes at the lack of... respect? Acknowledgement? He surely could be more kind if he wanted to.
As you place the contract onto his desk, informing him of it even though he knows, you spin on your heels to get back to the safety and comfort of your office.
"Wait," he says as if it physically pains him to even talk to you. Or maybe it's just the gruff of his voice and the depth in it. You're surely assuming a lot of things. 
Turning around and trying to keep your facial expression polite, you give him a questioning look. One he finally sees when he finally decides to spare you a glance. 
"I need you to reschedule the meeting with Mr. Kang. I already have something planned there."
Frowning in confusion, you try to think back of his schedule you've seen dozens of times by now. Have you made a mistake? You're sure his day was mostly free, in terms of nothing big scheduled and planned.
Or there's a chance he made a mistake? You did send him his schedule though. He must've approved when he had no objections. Until now. 
"Your schedule was free on that day, sir." you inform him, the tone hesitant as if you already suspect he has made a mistake. You're still wary about it though.
He stops typing, his eyes flickering back to your figure for a split second that has your stomach clenched in discomfort. This is it. You're either getting scolded or fired. The first option seems more pleasant. 
"I've got a private schedule." he remarks with the same stoic expression you've seen a handful of times. Does this man have any emotions? Because you're seriously doubting it. 
Oh well. You couldn't have known he has a private schedule. Shouldn't you know about these kinds of things? 
"Oh, sorry. I will reschedule the meeting right away." you say, swallowing down your pride and the need to voice your thoughts. 
Of course, you know you can't speak freely because this is your freaking boss. He's cold and demands professionalism. It wouldn't be right of you to tell him that you didn't in fact know about his private schedule. Because there is no way you would know. 
And perhaps there might be a little luck in all of this. Maybe he clearly sees the distress on your face as he rolls his shoulders before opening his mouth.
"I wanted to add it and send it to you after reviewing my schedule." he informs.
You both stare at each other for a moment, while you're processing the fact he just indirectly told you it's not your fault. He knows you wouldn't know.
"Just make sure the meeting is rescheduled," he mutters, eyes focused on the screen of his laptop again. "You may leave."
Thank you, your Highness.
You leave for real this time. With a tiny feeling of accomplishment in your heart.
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Mr. Kang – or what you assume his assistant to be exact – has shown no problem in rescheduling the meeting. You were slightly worried he wouldn't be pleased but after his assistant checked with him, he didn't seem to mind at all.
The sun is setting down and the view from your office is worth every second. You even steal a quick photo of it before you return back to work. 
This room is quite isolated but even the little sounds you could've heard throughout the day, just the ones that let you know this place is active and busy, have subtly faded away. The company is less hectic and everyone's probably on their way home. You won't lie, you've checked time and according to a contract that was given to you, you should've clocked off already.
But – you had a few emails to sort out along with your own personal research of Mr. Jeon's working ethic and schedule. You understand things more now, you studying and trying to get a hang of it certainly helped. 
You're not a coffee drinker but you've made yourself one after stealing five minutes, to get yourself one in the break room. The cup is now empty, sitting on your desk as you've left the door ajar. You have one more email to read before you pack it up. Even Soyeon is not at her desk and you assume she already left home. 
You're in the middle of staring into the screen, your eyes slightly aching as your door is suddenly pushed open. The sound is loud enough to catch your attention, even if it wasn't for your peripheral vision. 
You stare wide-eyed at Mr. Jeon, glancing around as if he's checking to see the room intact. Once he finds nothing suspicious or worth his attention, his gaze falls down on you. 
"What are you doing here?"
Somehow that question is invading, yet it's simple and said with a cold tone.
Opening your mouth, you try to find the right words as he glances at the surely expensive watch hugging his wrist. Not mentioning it all matches with his dark suit. 
"You were supposed to leave an hour ago."
"I wasn't sure–"
"You didn't read the contract?" he cuts you off, frowning. "It clearly states how long your usual working days are."
In fact, you read it. Along with the information that there is something called a basic shift and additional schedule. It consists of special events, occasions when you're needed outside of the company and your usual working time. So far, nobody has really talked about it yet and it's something you need to know about more.
"I wasn't sure–" you continue, louder or at least loud enough to catch his attention and let him know he interrupted you. The way his face twists into irritation is not something you should play with. 
But His Highness is probably not aware that interrupting is considered as impolite.
"--I could leave just like that since it's my first day. Actually, I was planning to finish an email before leaving."
"You're better here when you're well rested each day. I don't need an employee who works overtime because they can't finish their work on time."
The jab is there, loud and clear, one you should've been prepared for. Of course he's going to give you an attitude about this. 
"Didn't Miss Kim tell you when you're supposed to finish?"
You have no idea who Miss Kim is, it's either Saja or Soyeon. But one thing you know, none of them let you know nothing. 
"In fact, no she didn't." you inform him with a pointed look, watching him narrow his eyes at you. 
Whatever he's thinking, he keeps it to himself. "Pack your things and leave."
He goes to turn around and leave, your panic getting the best of you as you quickly jump to your feet. "And come back tomorrow?"
His steps halt to a complete stop as he glances across his shoulder.
"You said you would give me a chance."
"And I'm keeping my word, Miss Y/L/N."
Pressing your lips together, your fingers leaning against your desk as you try to prevent them from shaking. 
"I want all the documents on my desk before eight tomorrow. And don't mess up my coffee."
And he's out of the room, leaving you with your mouth open and eyes widened. You slowly blink, realizing hitting you slowly and surely as your lips stretch into a wide smile.
You're expected here tomorrow. He didn't fire you. 
Yet.
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Your legs and walk flow in a confidence you were definitely lacking the day before. Even though this job seems like something where you don't know what to expect every day, you're more content with yourself by your yesterday's performance rather than disappointed and upset about it. 
Though, there is still a slight fear of what's awaiting for you creeping around the corner. But you don't let it ruin your morning. Now when the sun starts to peek in, the morning's fresh air naturally lifts your mood.
Maybe it's not just the fear that could potentially make you anxious. You also have a huge respect for this job. Not only because you need it, but you also want to do your best. While you truly admit you wouldn't be able to work there without Hoseok's help, you'll try to prove you deserve to have a place there.
Mr. Jeon would never even let you enter the building if Hoseok wouldn't persuade him to give you a chance. Figuratively speaking. Mr. Jeon isn't probably the person that deals with employing people from the start. They have to go through different check-ups and rounds until they get a chance to see the boss himself. His word is final though. You don't doubt he's included in all those decisions, but you can't imagine him dealing with every single interested party when it comes to new job positions. 
You truly appreciate Hoseok's help. But you can't help but feel slightly embarrassed that he had to put effort in persuading his friend. You still have Mr. Jeon's face right in front of you. That one look that reminds you why you're there in the first place. 
Your ego has to go. At least you have to push it to a certain level, so you won't get too discouraged. Again, you need this job and the money it offers. This is the only reason why you're walking inside the building, blending in with people you would never truly blend in. At least you don't believe that. 
You're wearing the clothes Soyeon gave you. It's safe to say it's one of the reasons why you look like you're one of them. Well, you are for now. You can only hope you will when you hopefully sign the contract. 
A card is given you at the reception, the kind woman informing you of its use as you simply just have to scan for entry. Not literally. It's just to log in your information to the database of when you're arriving and leaving. Everyone has one.
Glad for this new information, you scan the card in a nearby scanner before waiting for the elevator. You put it into the small and very inconspicuous pocket in your skirt. One thing you've got to say about the attire, is that it makes you confident. You already feel successful while wearing it, which is ridiculous and definitely sounds like it, but it feels like an honor to represent this company. Even on your way here, you noticed a few interested gazes aimed at you.
The material feels expensive, almost forbidden to wear in fear you would stain it somehow. Coming inside here again, you're a newbie regardless of how you feel outside of this tall and massive building. 
As you come up to your floor, greeting who you could call some of your colleagues (despite there's no way you'll get familiar with all of them) Soyeon is not present at her front desk but you're guessing she must be somewhere around. Who you do find and spot coming out one of the rooms is Max. You halt a little, surprised by his sudden presence as he seems equally perplexed to see you. But the look is quickly wiped away as he shoots you a wide and friendly smile. 
"Y/N, so you didn't give up." He tries to joke, clearly hinting at the fact that yes, you're still here. Even though you're not sure why he would think you wouldn't. God knows what they think of you or what information they have about you.
Unless Mr. Jeon is keen to gossip and open with his employees, there shouldn't be too much stuff that could reach their ears. 
"No, not yet." You settle on a faint grin, keeping the joke afloat.
"I do like you, so I really hope you stick around."
"Oh, was that a compliment?" you laugh. He definitely knows how to make someone nervous.
He opens his mouth, a grin still attached to his lips but before he could make you even more assured than he already is (which is a total sarcasm on your part), someone comes out of the break room, interrupting the moment.
"Are you done flirting, Maximilian?" Saja, wearing the same attire as you, hair in a perfect sleek low bun, doesn't bother to show a hint of smile. "Our policy says there are no workplace relationships allowed." She reminds him, almost annoyingly which leaves you totally dumbfounded. 
Glancing at Max, he seems just as dumbfounded because first of all, where's the flirting? Sure, Max is a little on the flirty side but you assume that's a part of his personality. Who knows, but still, such a bold assumption is not exactly appropriate. 
But Max doesn't falter, he doesn't look embarrassed but the way he looks to his side where Saja's standing, he looks her up and down, almost in a bitter way. 
"Is there a reason why you interrupted our flirting?" he asks instead, causing you to almost choke on your spit as you clear your throat and fail to hide the awkwardness you're currently and undoubtedly feeling. 
She chuckles, not buying his attitude. "I need her to show her stuff. So please, take it somewhere else and preferably to someone else. But make sure Mr. Jeon doesn't know about it."
"You and your threats."
"The company's policy. Not threats." She corrects.
Are you interrupting something?
Max turns to you, rolling his eyes. "You know, friendliness is not against our policy."
"Explain it to Mr. Jeon, once he's the one who catches you."
"Catches doing exactly what? Talking to my new colleague? Please." 
You purse your lips, shifting weight on your feet. This is really awkward.
"Max," she says his name, laughing almost bitterly as she shakes his head as if to call out his bullshit. He doesn't move though, lifting his brow. "I'm just informing you."
"I don't need you informing me. I'm very much familiar with our policy. Now, Y/N, it was lovely talking to you and I do hope we will talk in the future, preferably not getting caught by someone." he teases, grinning at you as your cheeks heathen up as you send him an unsure grin. 
You murmur something in return, not even sure what comes out of your mouth as he shoots you one last smile before walking away. Saja stands there, raising her brow at you almost as if it's your turn to get scolded. 
"I wasn't lying. Mr. Jeon does not allow any relationships. I'm sure it's in your contract."
The one that isn't signed yet though. You keep that to yourself. 
First of all, you didn't even think about Max that way. Not unless she made it seem as if it's something bigger than it really was. Not aware of her true intentions, you don't even try thinking of it because it's pointless. 
"Is there a reason why?" you ask instead, her brows shooting up in a silent surprise at your question instead.
"I'm pretty sure it's because it could potentially ruin the progress of working. Just measure to avoid any misunderstandings and problems. Most companies do that. At least the ones I worked at did."
"Max seems like a friendly person. I don't think he was flirting."
A little annoyed as she seems to look, perhaps it's the still ongoing topic that annoys her, she stays silent for a moment. You don't give her the time to respond though. 
"It was nothing but a friendly conversation. Nothing to suspect or worry about."
The look on her face is worth your slightly passive-aggressive reaction as a grin threatens to make it to your lips. "Well, I advise you that."
"Thank you, I will take it to heart." you promise her, almost cackling when her expression drops and it turns more serious.
"Let's go to the office. I need to explain a few things before Mr. Jeon arrives." she grits through her teeth.
Despite the not so friendly exchange, a smile remains on your face as you slowly follow her to your office with slightly more confident steps.
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During the ten minutes that are spent in the pleasant interior of your office, you deduce Saja is more informative and helpful than she was yesterday. Regardless of how quickly words spill out of her mouth to the point you think you might get a whiplash (again), you're trying to sink every information she has for you. She even made a few notes, point by point, that consists of basic information you'll need. 
You appreciate the work she put into that, or that she took the time to write all of that, regardless of its length. With that being said and sent to your mail, she leaves you to do your job since the time is ticking and Mr. Jeon will be here any minute. 
As explained and not forgotten, you make sure the cup in your hold and its content is the right one. Despite your boss' words of how he wants his employees well rested (though you're not sure if that's possible due to the amount of stress and work), you have barely slept well. Though, you hope the make-up you're wearing hides that tiny secret well. 
You don't dare to judge. Everyone here seems to be working well, perhaps they don't experience as much stress like you do – obviously. 
Coming inside his office after announcing yourself of course, you're not shocked at the lack of eye-contact and attention as you settle the cup down.
"I hope it's the right one." he says, something in his tone that you can't quite point out. Did he just make a joke? As many things here and in life generally, you don't dare to say and be sure. You don't know him and his personality is something you're still trying to figure out.
It's that moment and a few seconds of lingering silence that eventually causes him to pry his dark brown eyes off the laptop's screen, setting those distant and dark orbs on you. It's the clear quirk of his brow that brings you back into reality.
"Of course it is." It's funny how quickly you say it, with urgency as if you didn't get it wrong only yesterday. To your defense, it wasn't exactly your fault. Actually, it wasn't your fault at all. Saja made it and you just brought it to him. 
It still bothers you that you're the one who messed up in his eyes. Or in anyone's for that matter. He watches you for a second, enough to make you nervous while you're inches from his desk and well, him. He does radiate dominance and coldness. It doesn't make sense that Hoseok is friends with him. He's a complete opposite.
As much as you're curious about the man in front of you, you prefer not to ask your friend too much about him and his life. One, it shouldn't interest you enough to want to know it. Second, Hoseok is a very good friend with him and not only that, they're some distant family. While Hoseok is your friend and the closest person you have in the country, he's not your best friend that could potentially spill you anything. 
In other words, it wouldn't be exactly wise to try and pry. After all, your curiosity should go aside because this is your job. You shouldn't play with fire or dig into this and him. You won't risk that. 
"I had your documents and papers prepared before you came in,"
Stupid. You inform him of something he clearly saw when he came in here. 
"I hope everything's right."
"You hope?" he questions his brow in the same position that has been questioning you. 
He leans back against his chair, elbow resting on the arm handle as he brushes his fingers over his chest. He doesn't pry his eyes off you.
"You really want this job, right?"
You open your mouth and give him a look, once you can't even define yourself but obviously almost spills out of it. He notices it, he surely does because the little twitch the corner of his mouth makes is enough proof of it.
"I want to do my job right, sir. I'm still new and I'm learning." you answer him, diplomatically with a hint of honesty and roughness that definitely doesn't go unnoticed by him. 
Whatever argument he would have prepared, he decides to keep his mouth shut and just watches you with almost piqued interest. Or he's deep in thoughts, like you said, you can't quite figure him out.
"Learning is fine, but I hope you're aware you have to be quick at it. We don't have time for any slackers or slowness."
Well, damn. What encouraging words. 
"I'm not a slacker and I hope I'm not slow either."
If he knew you even dreamed about this job, your first day haunting you even in your sleep.
"You do a lot of hoping."
"Sometimes it's the only thing we can do."
He stays silent for a moment, "I could argue with that," he protests but he says it with no remorse or anything negative. Just merrily points out. "I could also give you a few encouraging words, but I'm not sure what help would that make."
It would certainly make you not want to shit your pants in his presence, but you don't tell him that. 
You're not here long enough, but you can't imagine him being all sweet and encouraging. It just doesn't suit him at the moment. You're aware of your judgment and assuming, so you stop and straighten yourself more.
"I need to see results, not give out hope."
That's a bit cold, but you offer him a short nod.
"Got it."
"Alright," he sighs, straightening himself that he's no longer in his leaned back comfortable position. "I need you to get a car ready for today's lunch. I have a meeting at that time and you're coming with me."
You nod, hiding your shock and maybe fear? Who knows. 
"Any restaurant preference?"
"Italian. The one in the Four Seasons Hotel. Call them and reserve us a table. Just mention the name Jeon and they should confirm it."
"Got it, sir. I'll call them right away."
He nods, scooting closer to his desk, dismissing you with no other words needed. 
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Turns out, he has a driver for special occasions. Not sure if lunch with a business partner is a special occasion, but this time you meet Mr. Jeon in an underground garage. Not having the guts to ask if you're late, you keep your mouth shut and the two of you get inside the car. 
You're sure you're not late, you were informed about the specific time when you delivered him the news of the successful reservation. Soyeon, whom you met during the day, has given you some details of how usually these meetings work and how you should prepare. Turns out, you're there to assist Mr. Jeon – schedule any possible future meetings and give him information about his schedule. 
It's understandable that a man with so much work on his shoulders can't remember every single thing, just as much as he can't manage the little details. That's why he has an assistant, that's why you're going. 
The reason for your presence there is no secret to you, and you knew that without Soyeon telling you. Still, you appreciate her trying to help. 
The drive there is spent in silence, a little awkward you would say. One of Mr. Jeon's driver is an older man. Not too old though, maybe old enough to be your father but he seems nice and polite. You can't exactly tell when all you exchanged were greetings before you joined your boss in the backseat.
You also can't say it's the most comfortable ride. You mean... Mr. Jeon is sitting right next to you, even though there's a little space between you – it's still the closest you've been to him so far. 
Man with such distance he seems to radiate, it feels odd to be so close to. He's a stranger, someone who literally has your destiny in the palm of his hands. Big hands at that. 
Something you've noticed before but is clear now as well. You're purely judging the way his phone looks small in his hold. You don't dare to make it visible that you're silently side-eyeing the man. He's not exactly the type to break the awkward silence, but he seems to be too engrossed in his phone to maybe even notice. Or care. 
The silent radio music is the only thing that prevents complete silence. And you find yourself staring from the window, your purse clutched to your side with the needed iPad in it.
It's when a rustling sound comes from the side, catching your attention as you watch Mr. Jeon tucks his phone back into his slacks pocket checking his surroundings out of the window. 
"Mr. Liang owns an agency that represents people who would potentially want business investors to invest in them." Mr. Jeon suddenly says, breaking the silence with his smooth but deep voice.
The moment you both share a look, which is just simply looking into each other's eyes, you almost panic and look away. You hold the stare though, not wanting to get intimidated by the man's eyes or aura. He seems clueless about that, more notes the slight surprise or confusion on your face.
"It's not important information but you can't go there and be completely clueless." he explains, causing you to nod in understatement.
"I thought most business partners come straight to you." Meaning to his company and through their employees, they got to the boss – Mr. Jeon.
You're not ashamed to have a question, a meer curiosity coming to the surface. Mr. Jeon doesn't look bothered, which is a good sign. 
"They do. But most people don't have the resources to do so. We're not a company you can just easily approach. We're talking about millions here, not a few bucks. So owners of agencies like Mr. Liang, they take care of all the important stuff. They take a share from the potential success, that is if I decide to invest in whatever they come up with."
"But they still pay for it, right? They have to be able to allow an agency to represent them."
"Of course. Nothing's for free, Miss Y/L/N," he answers, "If it's a beginner whose business is new, they usually take loans. They still need to pay."
You know how frustrating it feels not to have enough money to be able to go after your dreams. It's a sad reality. People have to take a risk to be able to go after them, most of the time to get into debts. 
It's surely not something Mr. Jeon has ever gone through. You don't judge him. He had the luck to be born into a rich family, which doesn't always have to be positive. You're just comparing the two different worlds. Regardless of that and anything that's obvious, Mr. Jeon was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. 
You wonder if he can even empathize with the struggles these people, or any ordinary mortal is going through. Does he even realize how tough it is for some people? In a way, he's helping them by investing his money into their business but still. It's not for free. You've seen the numbers. He has a good share after that as well. 
After all, he wouldn't invest if it caused him to lose the money. He needs a profit off the things he invests his money into. And from the looks of it, he's doing a fucking amazing job at it. 
You arrive to the Four Seasons Hotel shortly after, Mr. Jeon dismisses his driver's attempt of opening the door for him. It's a little detail but you notice it nevertheless, focusing on yourself instead and trying not to trip in your heels.
Mr. Liang is already inside by the time you get greeted by the lovely staff. Their swift greetings aimed at the man beside you prove he is a regular here. That much was clear to you when he said to mention his name when you were about to make the reservation. 
Just like the most business partners you had a chance to see, Mr. Liang is older than your boss for sure. He's in his mid fifties for sure, but his appearance screams important and business. You're purely judging it by his suit and overall vibe. For his age, Mr. Liang definitely takes good care of himself. 
He's either surprised Mr. Jeon hasn't come alone or because he sees a new face. But judging from the information you've received, you would say it's the second option. You're right because seconds after and after the two men bow at each other, he looks at you. 
"New assistant?" he questions with a smile, outstretching his hand for you to shake.
You politely take it, bowing to him. Mr. Jeon watches the interaction, sitting down as he adjusts his suit. "We'll see."
Is all he says, your frown wanting to come to the surface but you surpass it. It's awkward and perhaps quite embarrassing to hear him saying that in front of a stranger. Mr. Liang seems to be a little taken back, but for whatever reason (or his own sake) he does not ask any further questions. 
They start chit-chatting when menu orders are given to you. You stay quiet, pulling out the iPad from your purse to prepare. Drinks are ordered and you stick to the soda, even though it's nothing like you. It's not like you should care about the bill, one of those two surely pays but still. It's a safe choice. 
"I'll come back to take your meal order." The waiter says, bowing to everyone at the table before he retrieves back.
The man starts picking their food, silently flicking through the menu. "Order something too." 
Mr. Jeon speaks beside you, not lifting up his gaze as he still scans the item in his hands. 
"This should be your lunch break, Miss Y/L/N," he reminds you.
You notice Mr. Liang lifts his eyes to watch you two but his lips stay sealed shut. 
"So order something and eat."
Well, how were you supposed to know that? At least he informed you and spared you the embarrassment of having to spend this meeting with an almost empty stomach. It's a bare minimum but regardless of that, this is still work. You're working during your lunch break. So it is touching that he wants you to eat and not starve.
That would be a really asshole move, considering they're about to have lunch during this.
"Okay." you almost whisper, looking at Mr. Liang as you send him a tiny smile. He reciprocates it and luckily, gives you no attention.
After you order the food, the two business men go straight to work. You assistate, jumping in whenever you're needed and after tasting delicious Italian food, you feel better about the entire meeting. Everything runs smoothly and even though it's hard to detect any positive emotions on Mr. Jeon's face, he seems to be pleased enough with the outcome.
Surely, you can't be a good judge of this, but considering this is your second day properly working in this company, you're proud of yourself because you knew everything. You haven't done anything ridiculously hard, mainly gave information of Mr. Jeon's schedule and did research when he asked you to, but still. You're proud of yourself.
There was not a moment where you were lost and that's a win. Especially in the presence of the boss himself. 
When you get back, Mr. Jeon retrieves back to his office, informing you he doesn't want to be disturbed and all calls should be handled by you or anyone else. You nod at that, bowing at him one last time before you separate your ways. 
"How was it going?" Soyeon asks once she spots you walking by her desk, her eyes sparking with hidden interest and curiosity.
How was it going? You ask yourself. Releasing the breath, a content smile makes it up on your face. "It went actually well."
Soyeon's brows lift up as if she expected something else, though it's quickly wiped away as she gives you a cheerful smile and thumbs up. 
You're ready to walk away but you halt in your steps. "Mr. Jeon does not want to be disturbed." you inform her.
The entire moment is professional, bringing something joyful to the hopeless situation you're in. You're merely informative, making sure Mr. Jeon's orders don't go ignored. Soyeon nods, watching you the entire time you walk to your office.
You sit in your chair, leaning back as you stare at the ceiling, giggling to yourself. The joyful moment doesn't last long though, the phone ringing loudly brings you back to reality and reminds you that nothing is won yet. 
But it's on a good path and that's exactly what you let remind yourself for the rest of the day. 
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"Is your boss hot?"
The second day at your work has ended successfully and so far, Mr. Jeon hasn't come to find you and deliver bad news. That's enough to celebrate and perhaps open a bottle of wine to celebrate, but you simply cannot. You can't risk a headache or potential hangover. 
Since living overseas can be lonely and the last thing you want is to bother Hoseok. He has his own job and can't hang out with you whenever you feel like it. Therefore, you didn't consider inviting him over because there's no need to.
And FaceTiming with your older sister is just enough. It's what you used to do most of the time when you were back home. 
She moved out to Spain at the age of twenty-two which is sooner than you. For you, it was difficult to leave home and everyone there. For her, not as much. She has always been more adventurous and braver when it came to stuff like this. That's why it was such a surprise you decided to move here. Well, you did talk about wanting to come here but it was mostly fantasy talk.
She surely didn't take you seriously, knowing you wouldn't just pack your things and leave. However, you've met Hoseok and if it weren't for him, you wouldn't have the guts to leave.
"What? You did say he's young." she elaborates, shrugging at the raised brow you're showing her.
"So he's gotta be hot as well?"
If it were for you, that's exactly how you would describe your boss. Which by the way, seems very inappropriate and you almost get embarrassed for thinking it. It feels weird to be talking about it openly, even if it's your sister. 
She visibly shrugs, propping her chin on her palm. "He's young and successful. It would be a shame if he wasn't hot, just saying."
"He's decent," you hum instead, not giving the pleasure to unknowing Mr. Jeon that yes, he is hot indeed. The fucker knows it anyway for sure. "I'm more concerned about his personality. He's very firm."
You elaborate more, explain her everything from beginning in more details since messages do not give it justice. She's no stranger to your situation. 
"Well, thank god for your friend then," she says after you tell her about the interactions you've experienced with your boss. "And you don't have to work for him forever, right? You just gotta stay there for a while and then you could find something different."
"Whatever that's gonna be, I feel like it's not gonna be anything better."
"Why are you saying that?"
"Because his company is one of the best known in South Korea. He's a millionaire."
"Maybe you could work for another millionaire then." she jokes, earning another glare from you. 
"It's not that simple."
"Hm," she hums, popping a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "Is he like, super famous? I could google him. What was his name?"
You laugh, shaking your head. "He's known but he's private. People tend to put their interest and attention on idols and actors, actresses. Not millionaire heirs."
"You know what you should do?"
"What?" you deadpan, knowing one of her brilliant ideas are about to come out. 
"You should make more friends. You never know. They might help you in the future, in any field."
That's not exactly a bad idea, you know what she means. 
"I'm not gonna make friends just so they could help me when I need them." you point out.
"That's now what I meant," she argues, "Not in that way. But it's not bad to know more people. You gotta understand you don't have your family there, Y/N."
"I know that." you mutter, rubbing your forehead as you make yourself more comfortable in your bed. 
"Just think about it."
"Yeah, yeah." you wave the topic off. "I'm ready to make more friends. But currently, there aren't many opportunities to do so."
"What about your co-workers?"
"Right," You press your lips together. "They're all... I don't know, some of them are very welcoming and obviously, the company is large so I don't know everyone. I don't think it's even possible. But some of them are really serious. I don't know how to explain it."
"Maybe it's a cultural thing?" she questions.
"They're just very skilled in everything and I'm a newbie." You're reminded of Max's words. He calls you a newbie. 
"It will get better, I'm sure."
You're not sure about that, but you nod and end the topic there. You catch up over other stuff, mainly your sister talking about the reconstruction of her and her boyfriend's bathroom. Once a set of yawns keep coming in the midst of your call, you decide to end it there.
Making sure your alarm is set, even though it's automatic by now, it takes you a minute to stare at the ceiling before darkness swallows you whole. 
This time more confident to meet Mr. Jeon's orders and deep eyes that follow you into your dreams.
1K notes · View notes
minkyungseokie · 1 month
Text
When Nothing Goes Right | LS2
synopsis; Y/n, Logan's long-distance gf, surprises him at the AusGP, but things aren't as happy as they should be
warnings; none
note; requested
note 2; Y/n has no mentioned race but doesn't know English. Jackson is an Oc and the reader’s older brother
Let me know whether you prefer first person or third person pov Please be nice. I haven't written in years and this is my first time writing for F1
Autosports Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Logan Masterlist
I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.
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It had been a few years since Y/n and Logan had begun dating. The two met as children after Y/n had started karting herself. They immediately hit off and stuck to each other like glue. Wherever Y/n was, you'd find Logan not far behind with a big smile on his face.
Their families could already tell that the two would be something more in the future. Your older siblings even started a bet on how long it would take for the two to fully understand their feelings and confess. Neither of them won because it only took them until the sixth grade to realize that what they felt wasn't platonic. They didn't understand their feelings fully, but they knew that they were no one just friends.
Everything has been perfect until Logan's career in karting began popping off and he soon entered F4. To make matters worse, Y/n's parents had split and decided that Y/n would go with her mother back to their home country. Dalton and Jackson thought it'd ruin the relationship the two youngest siblings had built and they'd break up, which would break the two since they were madly in love even if they fully couldn't understand what love was, but that wasn't the case.
Despite the distance between them, Y/n and Logan had decided to stay together and find long distance a try even though their parents, siblings, friends, cousins, and neighbours warned them that long distance was hard. Even people online said that long distance wasn't the best idea because it tended to end with one or both partners cheating on each other, however; Y/n and Logan trusted each other with their lives, so they decided to give it a chance.
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Now, Logan was a driver in Formula One and Y/n was studying at Uni. During their time apart, they'd only seen each other at least twice. Even though they haven't seen each other properly in years, they have only grown fonder of each other.
As the saying goes, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"
Y/n plopped down on her bed in nothing but a towel, answering a FaceTime call that came in on her computer, "Hey, you." Y/n greeted happily, "Hey, babe. I'm sorry to call you so late. I know you're probably busy and tired from work..." Logan sighed. "No! You're fine, love. I just got out of the shower. Anyway, what's up?" Y/n asked, removing the towel off her head and running a hand through her hair, "Nothing much. I just wanted to see you." Logan flirted, giving Y/n a smile.
Y/n stood up from the bed and began towelling herself off, "That's cute. If I'm not wrong, the Australian GP is coming up. How do you feel?" Y/n questioned. "I'm excited. To be honest, I want doing well last year. But it's a new year and you know how I worked hard during the break, so I'm ready. Speaking of the Australian GP, do you think that you can come watch?" Logan hesitantly asked, looking down before looking back at Y/n, who was now sitting on her bed in pyjamas.
"I...Logie, you know I'd love to..." Y/n hesitantly started, "I know. You have work and school, but you have never come to a GP before. I want you to come to support me at least once. But I understand. I don't want to force or coerce you to do anything you can't or don't want to do. You'll eventually come to one, right?" Logan asked. "Of course. I plan on coming as soon as I have the time to." Y/n promised.
She kept thinking about the fact that she had never attended one of Logan's races and began feeling like a shit girlfriend, so she ended up DMing Logan's childhood friend whom she had only heard about from Logan, Oscar Piastri and he somehow got her in contact with Alex Albon, Logan's teammate. Together the three made plans to sneak Y/n into the GP without Logan noticing.
It wasn't hard.
She had notified her job and her school of her trip and packed for Australia. She got on a plane as soon as she could, which ended up being the afternoon of FP2,dropped her things off at the hotel, leaving it behind the desk so she could share a room with Logan, and made her way to the track with a VIP pass in her hand.
The girl was practically vibrating as she walked through the paddock by herself. She was supposed to be looking for Oscar or Alex, but she was way too excited to see her boyfriend again. Luckily, Alex spotted her while she was roaming the paddock, "Hey! You're Y/n, right? Logan's girlfriend?" The man asked, approaching her, "Oh, yes. You must be Alex. The teammate." Y/n said, holding out a hand for Alex to shake.
The British Thai driver looked down at her hand before taking it and giving it a firm shake, "It's lovely to meet you. Logan's been talking about you. A lot." Alex said, jokingly rolling his eyes as if he was annoyed, but he truthfully enjoyed seeing his teammate talk about someone who made him happy and kept him sane while he was having a shit year. "Hey, mate. Is this her?" Another voice asked, but this time it was with a strong Australian accent.
Y/n turned to see a brunette in an orange and black shirt approaching them, "You must be the Oscar Piastri that I heard so much about." Y/n said, reaching out fit his hand. Oscar smiled and shook her hand, "I am. You must be Y/n. Logan talks about you a lot." Oscar commented. "So I've been told. It's lovely seeing something other than the pictures Logan sent to me when you guys were younger." Y/n chuckled.
"Come on. FP2 is starting soon and we want you to reunite as quickly as possible." Alex said, leading you towards the garage with Oscar following behind, "So how long have you two been together?" Oscar questioned. "We've been dating for eleven years, I believe. Since we were twelve." Y/n answered, "Eleven years! That's a long time." Alex awed
Once they were close by, Y/n’s heart began to race. She hid behind Alex and Oscar so she was hidden while Oscar pulled out his phone to film the interaction, “Logan, mate! Come here.” Alex called, “What? Do you need something?” Logan asked, voice getting closer as he walked up to them. “We noticed you were feeling a bit nervous, so we brought you something to cheer you up.” Oscar spoke, “What is it?” Logan asked, narrowing his eyes. “Why don’t you guess?” Alex suggested, “Just tell me.” Logan said, “Come on, have a bit of fun with it. Guess.” Alex insisted.
“Just give me whatever it is, mate.” Logan groaned, Y/n chuckled and tapped the boys on their arms, signaling for them to step aside. Logan watched as Alex and Oscar shared a look before stepping aside to reveal his girlfriend. Logan’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened, “Surprise!” Y/n cheered, giving the American jazz hands. Logan ran towards Y/n and scooped her up into his arms.
“You’re here! You told me—“ “That I wouldn’t be able to come. I lied.” Y/n said, burying her face into his shoulder. Logan put her on the ground and bent down, kissing Y/n softly, “I’ve missed you so much.” He muttered, “And I’ve missed you, my love.” Y/n responded, kissing all over Logan’s face. “Logan, Alex, it’s time for free practice.” A engineer called out, “Go out there and do your thing. I’ll be rooting for you.” Y/n said, cupping Logan’s face and connecting their lips.
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Y/n stood in the garage with headphones covering her ears. She couldn’t understand why she never came to a race weekend before, it was exhilarating. She could tell that her boyfriend wasn’t the best on the grid, but she knew he want the worse. It was just amazing to see him in his element, “Go, Logan!” Y/n muttered, clenching the chord between her fingers.
Y/n frowned as an odd feeling settled in her stomach. Y/n put a hand on her stomach and focused on the screen, attempting to ignore the feeling. Something was going to go wrong and she didn’t know what or when. Unfortunately, she didn’t have to wait too long to find out because Alex crashed his car, “Oh shit.” Y/n hissed, biting down in her knuckle.
“Hey, Alex. Are you alright?” Y/n asked, looking at the British Thai driver with concern. “I’m fine.” Alex answered walking away, obviously upset by the accident.
Y/n couldn’t help but feel bad for him, knowing that it absolutely sucks to crash even if she never watched or read up on the sport before.
Y/n made took off her headphones as Logan came back to the garage and jogged up to the American man, “That was so cool! I feel sorry for Alex, but that was so cool! I can’t wait to see you actually racing.” Y/n rambled, grabbing Logan’s hands on hers. While she rambled, Logan just smiled down at her with the softest gaze, “Do you want to go out after this? Or we can go to my hotel room? Have you gotten yourself one?” Logan asked, cupping your cheek.
“We should stay in. Catch up everything we missed and couldn’t talk about on the phone and no, I don’t have my own hotel room. Although, if I did, it probably won’t be getting used.” Y/n tittered. “Let me go get changed and we can go back to the hotel.” Logan said, kissing Y/n’s forehead before rising off to his driver’s room.
Y/n waited and waited, but it seemed like Logan was not coming out, which worried her. Did he get hurt or something? What was teasing so long? Y/n was leaning against the side of the garage, waiting for any sign of her boyfriend, but there was nothing. Until Alex came out, looking conflicted, “Hey, Alex. Where’s Logan?” Y/n questioned, pushing off the wall, “Um, he’s on his drivers room. He’s, uh, not happy right now, so maybe it’s better if you go see him.” Alex suggested.
He pointed out which room was his and continue on with his day, which didn’t really seem out of the ordinary to Y/n. She approached his door and knocked gently, “Logan? Is it alright if I come in?” Y/n called in a gentle voice. It was quiet for a moment before she heard a croaky, “Yeah.” Come from inside.
Y/n opened the door to see Logan sitting on the bench looking distressed, “Oh, what happened? Are you okay? Alex told me you were upset.” Y/n rushed over to her boyfriend, bombarding him with questions out of worry. Logan shook his head, “Alex wrecked his car,” Logan started, “Yeah, I saw that, but what does that have to do with you?” Y/n questioned, kneeling down in front of Logan and grabbing his hands.
“We don’t have a spare chassis, so they’re taking mine and giving it to Alex.” Logan sighed, “What?!” Y/n practically screeched, her confusion and weird turning into anger. “They said that since Alex is the better and more experienced driver, he most likely get the team points.” Logan explained further, “That’s stupid.” Y/n said bluntly, “Y/n…”
“No, don’t “Y/n…” me. I get that Alex it’s better and has more experience, but that’s that dumbest fucking decision I’ve ever heard. That’s like rewarding someone for fucking shit up! He crashed his chassis to the point where it had to be retired, so you have to give up yours? That’s bullshit, Logan!” Y/n argued. “I’m aware. I’ve given my all to this team. I worked myself to the bone during winter break when I could’ve been with you because I wanted it to be beneficial to this team. They are all aware of it.
James said he believed in me. James said he knew that I could go far if I just had a little more time in the car. But it doesn’t seem that way. Maybe I’m just not good enough.” Logan sniffed. Y/n wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck, placing his head on her chest and rubbing his back, “Shut up, Logan. Don’t you dare continue saying those things about yourself. You are good enough. If you weren’t, you would have been chosen for this team in the first place.”
“But—“
“No buts. The previous Williams owner saw something in you that no one else saw and picked you from Formulas Two to drive in Formula One. If you weren’t good enough, he most definitely wouldn’t have chosen you so early. James know he’s dead wrong for this. James know that this is going to be a blow to you, but he thinks getting points is more valuable than your growth. I’m sorry to say this, my love, but you honestly deserve so much better. It’s not your fault that Alex crashed the car. It’s not your fault that this team is so broke that it can’t afford another chassis.” Y/n angrily said, raising her voice before taking a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. You’re upset and I’m over here ranting.” Y/n quieted down, pressing a kiss too the crown of Logan’s head, “It’s okay, babe. It’s what has to be done for the team to gain some points. It’s whatever.” Logan shrugged, “ no, it’s not whatever, but I’m not gonna continue talking about this. Instead, let’s go to the hotel and order food. We can watch our favorite movies together and cuddle until you feel better.” Y/n said, lifting Logan’s head so his eyes met her and giving him a calming smile.
Logan smiled, albeit it was a sad one, but a smile nonetheless, “I’d like that.” He said, “Good. And since you’re not racing tomorrow, maybe we can do a bit more than cuddling. But that’s only if you’re comfortable and willing.” Y/n teased, pulling Logan up from his seated position, “I’d really like that. Thank you for being here for me and I’m sorry you came all this way only to not see me race.” Logan apologized, “Bah, I do anything for you. It doesn’t matter whether you are racing or not, I’m still here for you and I’d still come. Y/n waved off his apology
“I love you.”
“Love you too. Now let’s go.”
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writingoddess1125 · 6 months
Text
Marillenfleck in Winter
König x FemReader
Fluffy Fluff Fluff!
Feed me Seymore Feed me!! <<< 🍖
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"We can do this-"
You muttered to yourself and then down at your swollen stomach. Feeling the fluttering kicks of the child locked inside of you- assuming that was them agreeing.
"Hell yeah-"
Stepping forward with all the confidence you could muster as you carefully lowered the breaded pork cutlet into the hot oil and watching it carefully bubble as you let it settle.
Stepping back as the oil reacted for a moment before settling-
Two months ago before your husband left for his mission was lying in bed with you, his hand on your stomach as he reminisced-
'It is moments like this I almost wish to return to my Village just to show you off.. and share in some food with you' He mused, you looking at him in surprise.
'Wait we don't live near your home?' You say surprised, Having always assumed that König had chosen the secluded cabin 40 minutes from the closest village cause he was familiar with it. He chuckled at this and shook his head-
'No, I'm from near Dürnstein-'
Which was on the otherside of the country from were the two of you lived- You silently vowed to bring at least a taste of his home to him-
So for two months you'd been gathering ingredients and experimenting to make some folds from his home-town.
Did you have any real idea what you were doing?- No.
Did you know if these were ment to be eaten together?- Hell No.
Were you trying your best? Absolutely.
Speaking of trying your best- it was dead winter, 7inches of snow a day easy and what doesn't grow in winter?
Apricots-
So many Apricots in most of these recipes from near his home. Apricots cakes, wines, pastries, even in sauces with pork!
So you finding apricots was the most important thing. You tried the internet but didn't trust the quality from most places or they were dried which wouldn't have worked-
That's when you ventured out being forced to touch grass- Well snow in this case.
Market after market, looking in their freezer section to produce you couldnt find shit for the first 2 weeks of this adventure.
You were honestly thankful you were pregnant since when you went to the village closest to you asking for apricots in dead of winter- people assumed it was a desperate cry for a craving and a older women gave you a bag of them from her deep freeze she had saved. You of course paid her handsomely for the kind gift
This thrn started your dark road of trying to figure out these fucking recipes-
You tried every recipe and varient you could, pulling up photos of restaurants near your husband's origin and trying to match them-
Another blessing of being pregnant was being able to eat any failed attempts or trying recipes that wasn't going to be fed to König.
However the time had finally come! König was going to be home within the next hour, having called you the night before from his train station to tell you his arrival and you'd fluttered to make sure everything looked perfect.
"Alexa! Set a timer for 20 minutes!" You called out, flipping the cutlet seeing the even golden crust.
Reaching over you check the goulash stewing in the pot and saw it was almost done. Stirring it once before you checked on the bread dumplings and pulled them from the boiling water- You hadn't made these before in your experimental 2 months so you were excited!
Bacon Bread dumplings- Time to taste!
Taking a big bite you paused- truthfully confused over what the fuck you'd just put into your mouth. Chewing for a while as you tried to figure out if you'd done something wrong or if your taste was more off then you thought due to the baby- after the second bite you knew it was the baby and not the food especially whem you spooned some of the goulash ontop.
"...You know what, I'm just gonna blame you for this-" You said pointing at your stomach which earned another fluttering feeling as you finished the dumpling and stew sample.
Pulling the cutlets you let them sit on a wire rack as you plate the potatos and salad Konig liked- However your eyes landed on the centerpiece of this meal and what you were so focused one. The Marillenfleck Cake.
Still cooling as the beautiful Fluffy pastry showed off its shivered almost and the delicate apricots baked into its Fluffy self.
A summer apricot staple you'd manage to drag into winter!
You suddently heard the sound of the truck pulling up to your home, jumping in excitement you set the finished goulash down on the table and rushed around for the final touches.
Setting the plates down you mentally high-five yourself and rush to the front room as you hear König walk in. Grumbling about the snow outside as he kicked off his boots-
"Welcome Home Honey" You say cheerfully, wadling yourself over to your man- He had his mask off, most likely shoved away in his pockets in desperate need of a wash and he seemed to have showered at base since the black paint wasnt around his eyes-
Soft gray eyes greeted you and König gave a wide smile, reaching out and scooping you quickly in his arms and kissing your lips.
"I have missed you Liebling, You and the baby are well?" He asked softly as his gloved hand touched the swell of your stomach.
"Yes, We are fine. I'm so glad your home" You say cheerfully, feeling your eyes get misty already just by having him home.
"I have a surprise for you" You say cheerfully and jump, making the man chuckle at your physical excitement or attempt since the belly seemed to keep your feet planted.
"Oh?" He chimed amused, peeling off his coat and gloves as you pulled him to the kitchen and waiting set dining table.
When König saw all the food, his heart fluttered. He saw how much time this took, slowly stepping forward as he gazed over your heard work in total shock.
"(Y/N)- You did so much.. You should be resting not slaving in the kitchen" He said softly, looking at you in worry for your effort in the fantastic meal set on the table.
"I wanted to give you a nice surprise, You hungry?" You saw with a smile- Konig chuckling at this as he nodded, pulling out your chair so you could sit first before sitting himself.
Severing plates König couldn't help but laugh at the wide variety you'd made, from pork schnitzel and potato salad and the goulash and dumplings. Eating happily he hummed delight.
"I'm impressed! Very Gud Mein Liebling!" Demolishing the plates infront of him as the two of you sported casual conversation and König feeling your baby bump-
"And for dessert" You say cheerfully as you cut him a slice of the cake and set it before him. His face twisting in confusion.
"Liebling were did you get marillen {apricots} in winter?-" He asked genuinely confused as he cut into the pastry clearly doing a lot of mental math in trying to figure out how you manages this.
"It's a long story, but I got them!" You said cheerfully cutting open your own and taking a massive bite- Giving a laugh at how delicious it tasted and how you'd managed to not fuck anything up.
Raising a brow of this he hesitated ever so slightly before taking a bit of the dessert and paused, his eyes softening as an almost sad smile hit his lips.
"Konig?.." You say softly as he looked to you- His own eyes misty.
"I haven't had this cake since my Mutti made it for me before she passed-" He said softly, taking another bite of the dessert and smiling. Your heart Sinking at his words-
"I was always so scared to try it again since I knew it wouldn't taste the same" He smiled fondly as he reached out and pulled your seat close to him, love in his gaze.
"I don't know how- But youve made it taste just like the one she made" He said softly, wrapping his arm around you as he kissed your hair and you could feel the waves of emotion off of him.
"Danke my love" He said softly, lips still pressed to your hair as he held you tighter. Of course hormones not helping as tears rolled down your cheeks.
"Anytime"
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kazimirovich · 7 months
Text
all i can say forever
i'm jewish. as a child i moved from a rural town where my family saw acts of rage and hate, emigrated from a country with a horrifying history with jews. you know the one, though there are many. i'm 31 now and i have seen and experienced antisemitism my whole life, in the many places i've lived, to varying degrees. not that i should need to qualify this before everything i have to say - but i know what that looks and feels like. in my life there have been times at which i have been in danger. i choose to stay out of danger in all the ways i was taught. (part of that is not moving into someone else's house uninvited (more in a sec))
(well-meaning?) people want me to have a relationship with israel. they are very invested in assuming i have some connection to this shifting space, this project. they associate my german jewishness with a place i have never been and never felt. home, for me, is the uncle i haven't seen in too long, the ailing brother of my mother, the same red nose. it's fresh sheets hung over dry summer grass, it's bavarian farmland, it's thick liptauer on pumpernickel bread warmed over the wood stove. it's my grandmother's dining room and rough fenceposts, borders we disrespected as kids. home is also here and there and where my family is, where my friends are, where i've built myself.
in a geopolitical sense, it is clear that the antisemitic position is to sequester jews into a partitioned state conceived of by non-jews after the sunset of our most recent attempted decimation. antisemitic, to tell jews "move here, be at home in this space of constant war. impose war on others. fight for a tenuous link to an ancestry you've never seen or studied." in a religious sense, sort of a key feature of judaism since the second exile is that - we're in exile. this is an orthodox argument, but i have to admit that rabbinical discourse is pretty convincing. the secular establishment of the israeli state in an attempt to accelerate any so-called redemption has left us at a point where i really don't know what hope we have for that to occur. if you believe in god, how can you believe they are looking down at us, impressed
because beyond theoretical or spiritual reasons, the bloodlust, the vengefulness, the racism, the violation of law (i know that laws are agreed upon, are broken all the time by those who grant themselves impunity), the evil of this continuance, the evil which grinds babies and text and memory, gnashes it all in its droning machinery, its cold horror and inhumane (unhuman) practice, seemingly perfected... it is obvious to anyone with a single thought that it is an ethnic cleansing. the forcible "movement" (murder) of people of one group from land people of another group want. is ethnic cleansing. we are watching it in real time, and the world stands by and in many cases, it endorses, it beats and imprisons those who are brave enough to stand up to it, it rewards cowardly men in war rooms who having read fukuyama and arendt and maybe even voegelin conveniently forget themselves, because they can afford to, and wave their hands and make calls and decimate entire families cities sovereignties. and liberalism - that fickle ideology whose sole search is for the justification of atrocity - sends its thoughts and prayers, and emphasizes how just horrible both sides are, and conveniently forgets the histories that have led each "side" to this. convenient.
and i can't do anything about it. i can perfectly articulate every well-thought-out argument, i can cry the most frustrated tears from the well of my chest and i can scream that this isn't right, because it isn't, but nobody fucking cares. those who matter have decided for those who don't.
if you align yourself with israel, or feel any sympathy toward the supposed plight of active settlers (not a neutral spot to be in, by the way - another rational argument), i hope you know how thoroughly you've been manipulated. how successful the project of those with the power to decide we don't matter has been. you and i don't matter. so-called free thinkers meme. you fucking idiot. you genocidal maniac.
not putting this under a cut. fuck you. read it all and remember my jewish name and keep it far out of your mouth the next time you tell someone why the people you've told me are my neighbors deserve a flattening.
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kiarastromboli · 3 months
Text
Teach me 4 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)
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Part. 1 Part.2 Part.3
Mesterlist.
Warning: Bit of angst, Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :)
Summary: Two years have passed since Chris and Y/N's breakup. Many things have changed, but apparently not the feelings Y/N has for Chris. But how will her return to Boston for the summer holidays unfold when she knows she hasn't moved on?
Note : I'm sorry for making you wait so long for this fourth part. I just wanted to make sure I did it right. Despite everything, I'm still afraid this part won't please you as much, and I apologize if the result isn't what you expected. I did my best.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
"Julia, stop, that's enough," I said, bursting into laughter at the excited screams of my best friend on the other end of the line.
"Stop?? It's been almost 2 years since we last saw each other, y/n. How do you expect me to keep calm when I'm going to see you in less than 24 hours?" She said, overexcited, and I could hear her fidgeting in every direction.
Indeed, it had been a while since I left Boston. After my parents sent me to the other side of the country, I started researching universities nearby. At the end of high school, I wasted no time in enrolling and starting my studies.
I had successfully completed my first year at the university, and now it was summer vacation. My parents agreed to let me return to Boston to enjoy my break with them and my friends.
As for my relationship with my parents... Let's say things are different, but the distance imposed on us did me good. I had finally started to live for myself, and many things had changed in my life. As for them, they were content because my results were excellent, and they could see that I had gained autonomy and maturity since my departure.
Anyway, two years had passed, and my life had changed a lot, but I was so happy to finally be back in Boston.
"Yeah, I know," I said, chuckling. "I can't wait to see you and the others," I said, turning around to lie on my back in my bed.
"We'll have to organize a party for your return!" Julia screamed in my ears.
"No, Ju, please, that's enough," I said, moving the phone away from my ear a bit, which she had just shattered again.
"Huh huh, anyway, you don't have a choice. Mom's not here for 3 days, and it's perfect for the party we're going to have when you get back!" She said, emphasizing the word 'party.'
"Juliaaaa!" I said, sighing. "Who are you even planning to invite to this party? It's not like I had a hundred friends back in high school," I said, laughing.
"We don't care, y/n. Who would refuse a party in a big house during summer vacation? I'll invite our group of friends and then check with the old art group from high school." She started to say, "Oh, and why not the football team! And the lacrosse team and the school mascot! Oh my god, I wonder if he still has his costume; that would be hilarious!" She said, laughing.
The Lacrosse team, Chris.
From that moment on, my mind went on pause, and I didn't really pay attention to what Julia was saying.
It had been so long since I had heard about him. After my departure, I hadn't received any news from him. And it was my fault. Every time Julia tried to talk to me about him, I immediately shut down. I thought with time the pain would fade, but it was false. Four months after my departure, my heart still bled as much as the last time he passed by my window. I had done everything to stop thinking about him and turn the page, and I had done it so well that I almost forgot that by returning to Boston, I would also be returning to him.
"Y/n, are you listening?" Julia said, raising her voice, bringing me back to reality.
"Huh? What? Sorry, Julia, I'm exhausted. I think I need to rest for tomorrow; the journey will be long. Can I call you back later?" I said, stuttering a bit, still destabilized by my thoughts.
"Yeah, sure, don't worry. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye," she said warmly.
"Love you, bye," I said with a small smile before hanging up and placing my phone next to me.
Chris.
Is it normal that my heart still bleeds so much for a high school crush? Am I just too sensitive? Is it because he's the only man I've ever let into my heart until now?
Questions kept piling up in my mind, and no matter how much I shook my head, they wouldn't leave me.
Anxiety eventually took over the excitement. What will happen if we see each other again? Will we even meet? Does he still think about me too? Is his heart still bleeding as well? Did he drown in sorrow when our story ended?
More and more questions. I better close my eyes; tomorrow is a big day...
_______
My morning passed extremely quickly. I woke up a bit late, so I was in a hurry. I got ready quickly, gathered my things, and said goodbye to my roommate not to miss my flight.
My parents picked me up at the airport, and I didn't expect warm hugs, but it was still hurtful to barely get a 'how are you?' The whole ride to the house was filled with discussions about my results and how my life was going there.
It had been a while since I saw them, so I just decided to suck it up, smile, and play the perfect little girl I always portrayed in Boston.
"No, I'm just saying that just because your results are satisfactory doesn't mean you don't need extra courses, you know, those things look good on your record," my mother continued to ramble when we finally arrived home.
God, this journey felt longer than my high school years!
"Yeah, I know, Mom. I'll think about it; can we discuss it later? I'm tired," I said before leaving the car.
Once my suitcase was unpacked, I thought I would have a moment of respite to finally collapse into my bed and rest from this exhausting start to the day. But that was without counting on the stormy arrival of my best friend.
"Y/NNNNN!!!" she screamed, rushing towards me to hug me.
With fatigue and confusion, it took me a few seconds to realize it was indeed her standing in front of me, and suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by my emotions. Tears started to well up, blurring my vision.
"Oh my god, Ju'!" I said, stammering and nervously laughing.
"If you start crying, you know I'll cry too, so stop that right now," she warned me, furrowing her brows not to start crying herself.
"Sorry, sorry!" I said, chuckling and wiping my eyes. "I missed you so much!!" I said, shaking my hands before hugging her again.
I spent the rest of my day with her, talking about everything that had changed in my life since my departure, and for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely good.
I felt like I was recharging, regaining all the positive energy I had been missing.
"Anyway, you know me; I wasn't going to let a jerk like him talk to me like that. So, I preferred to end our relationship, and it's for the best!" Julia told me.
She had just told me about her latest relationship with one of the lacrosse team players from our high school, and as usual, I couldn't help but think of him.
"Are you sure everything's okay, y/n? Since I started talking about Tom, I feel like you're not really here anymore?" she asked, concerned.
"No! Well, yes, it's okay; don't worry. It's just that—" I began to say before cutting myself off with a sigh. "It's nothing; it's just my return here made me rethink everything that happened before I left," I confessed.
"You mean what happened with Chris?" she said, giving me a sympathetic look. "Sorry, I know we're not supposed to talk about him. Excuse me, I forgot—" she added before I interrupted her.
"No, Julia, it's fine; it's okay. I'm better; I assure you it doesn't bother me anymore," I lied, smiling and grabbing her hand. "I'm better, I promise it doesn't bother me anymore," I lied.
"You know I love you," she said, smiling and squeezing my hand.
"Yeah, I know, I love you too," I replied, chuckling.
After this little discussion, Julia stayed overnight at my place. I eventually gave in and agreed to have the party at her house.
Deep down, I had a bit of hope to come across Chris. I know I shouldn't, but it's stronger than me...
I mean, I would like to know what he's become. Has he continued with lacrosse? Did he go to university? Or has he found a job he's passionate about? Does he still smoke? Has he rebuilt his life with other girls after me?
In a way, I wanted to know to reassure myself that he was doing better and that what I did didn't hurt him too much.
But on the other hand, selfishly, I hoped he had waited for me, that he hadn't seen other girls, and that he was still hoping, just like me, that one day we would meet again.
And God, I know how contradictory it is of me to hope for that when that night I made it clear to him that there would be no chance of things working out. But no matter how much I fought against what I wanted, I knew that my heart was still in his hands, and his alone.
I hate myself for being so stupid and not being able to move on, even though it was just a relationship between two completely lost teenagers for a few weeks.
But I had never experienced anything so genuine. Every conversation, every look, every caress, and every kiss haunt me...
They're still there in a corner of my mind, even though I try to push them away and tell myself it's for the best. My soul screams at me to find his. Maybe that was my punishment—for making him believe that our story could last, for making him believe that the girl he truly loved existed when it wasn't the case.
_________
"Are you sure it doesn't bother you that the lacrosse team is here tonight?" Julia asked me for the hundredth time today.
After our little pajama party at my place last night, we went to her place in the afternoon to prepare for the party tonight.
We were finishing getting ready, and people were supposed to arrive any minute.
"Ju', as I've repeated to you throughout the day, it's fine, it doesn't bother me. And besides, if you don't invite the lacrosse team, what excuse will you find to invite your little Tom and make him regret it?" I said mockingly to tease her.
"Ahaha, very funny. You know very well that I would have found a way, one way or another, to make him regret it!" she added, giving me a playful punch on the shoulder, making me chuckle.
"No, more seriously, y/n, if you're not ready to see Chris tonight, I don't mind kicking the lacrosse team out of the party," she added, becoming serious again.
I sighed before responding, "You know, anyway, I can't ignore him for the rest of my life."
"Julia, I know you're worried about me, but it's behind me, I promise it'll be fine," I reassured her with a reassuring smile.
She began to open her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell at the entrance.
"Well, it looks like the party is about to start!" she said all hysterical, and I followed her downstairs to welcome the first people.
In the span of thirty minutes, the house filled with teenagers ready to have a blast.
There were mostly people from our old high school; we barely knew half of them, but as Julia had told me, no one refuses a party in a big house like hers during the summer vacation.
It quickly turned into chaos; people were absolutely everywhere, and bottles of alcohol were aplenty, but still no sign of Chris on the horizon.
The party was in full swing; it was almost midnight, and in my despair of not seeing Chris show up, I ended up giving in and joining the game like everyone else, downing drinks one after another, which was not really in my usual habits.
Maybe it was better this way; the more alcoholic beverages passed through my throat, the less Chris haunted my mind. After all, maybe that was my solution.
"Oh, shit, sorry!" I said, bumping into a guy with my head down, making him drop his phone.
I bent down to pick it up before him, and when I raised my head, I came face to face with a face I knew all too well.
"Y/n?" the tall brunet said, looking surprised.
It took me a few seconds to realize it was indeed Matt in front of me.
Chris's brother...
"Oh my god, Matt," I said, surprised. "You're the last person I expected to see tonight!" I said, chuckling.
"And I thought you were on the other side of the country!" he said, also chuckling before opening his arms to hug me.
"What are you doing here?" he asked once our embrace was over.
If I had been a little more sober, this situation would probably have worried me, but at the moment, I was just happy to see him. Matt and I had spent very little time together, but just enough for meeting him at this party to make me super happy.
"I came back for the holidays," I replied, smiling.
"Oh, that's great," he said, smiling too. "You could have at least let us know!" he added, laughing.
"Hey, relax, I just arrived yesterday," I said, rolling my eyes.
Our conversation quickly ended, giving way to an awkward silence. So, without really thinking, I asked him the first question that came to my mind, "Did you come alone ?"
"Oh, um..." he began to say before taking a pause, as if he didn't really know if he should continue or not. "No, I came with my brothers," he said, clearing his throat and running his hand over his neck.
Chris is here.
Suddenly, everything clicked in my head; it was obvious how stupid my question was.
My head started spinning; alcohol seemed to take hold of me even more. It was as if realizing he was there for real had suddenly spiked my blood alcohol level.
"Are you okay, y/n?" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, looking worried as he saw me pale.
"Um, yeah - yeah, don't worry, I'm just - I've had a bit to drink, you know, it's not really my thing!" I said with a nervous laugh, trying to hide my distress at the moment.
"Do you want me to get you a glass of water? Or something else? I'm sorry if it's me who put you in this state by talking about—" he started to say before I cut him off.
"No! - Matt, it's fine, everything's okay, it's not your fault. I'm just, I just need some fresh air, that's all," I added.
"Um, okay, do you want me to come with you?" he asked, and I could feel how uncomfortable he felt for me at that moment, and that was really the last thing I wanted.
"That's really nice, Matt, but it's okay, thank you. I'll be fine," I told him with a smile before walking towards the exit.
As I moved through the crowd, I prayed not to run into Chris. I didn't want to see him. I thought I was ready and that it was what I needed, but the state I am in right now proves otherwise.
Fuck this shit, I'm going to need more alcohol for sure to handle this.
In my rush towards the exit, I grabbed the first bottle of alcohol I saw lying around, whiskey - it couldn't get any harder.
Damn, will I ever manage to move on? Am I destined to feel like this for the rest of my days?
Finally reaching the front door, I felt my eyes fill with tears, making my vision completely blurry.
Once outside on the porch, I placed the bottle on the small coffee table there, sat on the outdoor couch, and allowed a few tears to flow.
I could hear the muffled sound of music inside, and paradoxically, the cicadas and the silence of the night outside.
A few minutes ago, I was fine, happy, enjoying the party with my friends, and it took me going back to thinking about him to ruin everything.
Physically, I wasn't doing that bad; I didn't feel the need to vomit or anything. I just had a bit of a spinning head and trouble standing up.
Mentally, though, it was a different story.
My sobbing was interrupted by a noise coming from a little further in the garden.
I raised my head with a start to scan the surroundings, wiping away my tears. I especially didn't want anyone to see the only girl crying at this party. I was already not considered a cool girl at school, but this would have been the icing on the cake.
There shouldn't be anyone outside; Julia had made it clear that she didn't want anyone in her mom's garden.
I spotted a silhouette in the dark, and eventually, I caught the smell of a joint. So, I sighed before getting up to get closer.
"Get out of here, idiot! Julia doesn't want anyone in her garden. It's not that complicated to follow such a simple rule," I shouted at the stranger, rolling my eyes.
He approached me until he reached the point where the porch light could illuminate him.
I took a step back, completely thrown off when I recognized his face.
"Sorry, I just got here. I didn't know we weren't allowed to hang out in the garden," he replied softly, keeping a reasonable distance from me.
"Chris?" that's all that could come out of my mouth at that moment; I was completely bewildered. What was I supposed to do at that moment?
My tears started to flow again, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
Chris stood there, not saying anything. He was as lost as I was at that moment, but I could see that seeing me cry was far from a pleasant thing for him.
He seemed hesitant, shook his head, and muttered to himself, rolling his eyes, "Fuck this."
The next moment, he took me into his arms, letting my head rest against his chest. It was as if he understood without me needing to express myself.
I broke down, letting my tears flow; that's what I needed—his arms around me. He held me tight, and I simply didn't want this moment to end. With my right hand, I clung to his t-shirt as if my life depended on it.
"Y/n, shhhh," he whispered, caressing my hair when my breathing became irregular due to my sobs.
I couldn't breathe; I felt suffocated. The more tears that fell, the worse it got, but, on the other hand, it felt good. All these emotions I had buried, all these tears I had prevented from flowing, were finally coming out.
"Y/n, calm down," he said, grabbing my cheeks with his hands and bringing his face to mine to look me in the eyes.
"Hey, look at me, look at me, breathe, everything's fine," he reassured me, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
"I-I'm so—" I tried to speak, but I couldn't stop crying.
"I'm so sorry, Chris," I said with a broken and fragile voice, shaking my head.
"Y/n, it's okay, stop," he said, pinching his lips, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes, despite his efforts to suppress them.
"What I did—" I started, trying to calm down, "what I did to you—I had no right to do that. I'm sorry, Chris," I said, letting my head fall once again against his chest and starting to cry even harder.
"Y/n," he said, seizing my face again to look at me, "Y/n, I’m not mad at you. Look at me, I'm fine, everything's fine; it's behind us."
"It's not behind me, Chris," I told him, shaking my head and stepping back.
"It's not behind me at all. It continues to eat me up inside every day! I tried for two years!" I told him with a forced laugh, wiping my tears. "Two years, Chris, two years trying everything to get you out of my head and to stop hoping that things would go back to normal!" I added.
"Y/n—" he said, passing his hand over his face before I cut him off.
"How can you not resent me after what I did to you!?" I said, completely lost.
"Because that's life, y/n!" he said, raising his voice and advancing towards me.
"Because people come in and out of your life, tearing your heart out against their will!" he added, and I just closed my mouth; I didn't expect him to express himself like this.
"Y/n, I could have chosen to hate you, yes, it's true! I could have chosen to keep acting like an idiot and keep destroying myself slowly, as I did in the first months after you left!" he continued to say, carried away by his emotions.
"But what would it have served? What would it have served to keep making the same mistakes all my life?" he asked, and I simply nodded, dumbfounded.
"Y/n, I tried to hate you to make the pill go down more easily, believe me. But how could I hate a girl like you?" he asked, tears in his eyes.
"How could I hate the only woman who managed to open my heart and show me that there's always hope?" he continued, this time advancing towards me, and my heart started racing in my chest.
"I got my act together because you deserved someone better. You deserved to know that I was doing well, and I knew! Believe me, I knew how much you blamed yourself," he said, wiping my tears.
"That night when you told me straight in the eyes that you no longer loved me and that you no longer believed in us, I knew you were lying to protect me," he said, and I felt tears flowing again.
"You lied to me to protect me without even thinking about yourself. You put me before you, where no one had done it before," he continued, tapping his chest.
"Chris—" I said with a weak voice.
"No, I don't blame you, y/n. I don't blame you because I know you simply didn't have the choice to do that," he said, wiping my tears.
"And these last two years, I lived in doubt because I wasn't sure 100%, but when I saw your gaze on this porch, all my doubts flew away, and now I know," he said, plunging his eyes into mine.
I looked into his eyes; I had managed to regain normal breathing, and everything he had just told me had calmed my heart.
The open wound in my chest, bleeding and letting all my distress pour out, was closing.
I didn't know what to add; I didn't know what to say to him. It felt like a million things were happening in my mind, but what could it possibly mean?
And then my thoughts escaped my mind, fixating on his blue eyes, his pure eyes, his sincere gaze fixed on me.
I had forgotten how beautiful this man was.
I became aware of his warm hands on my cheeks; my heartbeat quickened, and I thought I saw a glint of desire growing in his eyes.
The silence became heavy, yet neither of us wanted to say anything.
Our faces slowly approached, and my eyes juggled between his and his lips.
What was happening? Was it supposed to be good? Or bad?
I wanted to throw myself at him, yes, but was it correct? Was it the alcohol? Did I misinterpret what was happening?
"Chris—" I said in a soft, almost inaudible voice before he closed the gap between our lips.
Shivers ran through my entire body; it was soft and so good.
His soft lips moved perfectly against mine.
One of his hands resting on my cheek slid down to the small of my back.
Meanwhile, my two hands found their place on his chest, and our kiss deepened.
This kiss, originally meant to say ‘welcome home’, quickly became more profound.
Our tongues collided; things escalated. The hand that rested on my waist descended to grip my hip, while one of my hands left his chest to settle on the side of his neck.
I felt something reignite in me, something I hadn't felt in a very long time: desire.
I became aware of what was happening, and I snapped out of this trance by stepping back and opening my eyes.
I caught my breath before telling him, "Chris."
"I'm sorry," he said, catching his breath too.
"We can't do this; we can't revisit this. I'm back in Boston only for the holidays," I said, shaking my head, trying to think of something else.
"Sorry, I don't know what came over me; I shouldn't have." he said, running his hand through his hair.
"It's okay," I said, stepping towards him and placing my hand on his shoulder.
"I just found you again when I didn't think I'd have this chance; I want to do things right," I confessed.
"So, does that mean we're friends now?" he asked, and his question tore at my heart because, of course, I didn't want to be just friends. But things were too complicated for us to allow anything more.
"Yes, it means we're friends," I said, smiling slightly, and he returned a smile.
"I missed you," he said, hugging me.
"Missed you too," I replied, "feels like it's been ages since we last caught up," I added, chuckling.
"You must have hundreds of things to tell me then," he said, separating and smiling.
"I don't want to spoil your evening with my stories; it can wait," I told him, running my hand through my nape.
"Y/n, I went out to smoke a joint alone because this party is really lame," he said, rolling his eyes, "so believe me, I'd rather sit here with you and listen to everything you have to tell me."
"Hey, it's my comeback night, you're not allowed to say it's lame!" I told him, offended, giving him a shoulder punch.
"Okay, okay, sorry!" he said, laughing, before sitting on the couch, and I followed suit.
He took a joint out of his pocket, and before lighting it, he turned to me. "Hmm, want some?"
"Oh no, thanks, I'll stick to this tonight," I said, grabbing the bottle I'd left on the small table.
"Whiskey?" he said, surprised, "who are you?" he joked.
"Shut up, idiot, I grabbed the first bottle I came across on my way here," I said, rolling my eyes.
The conversation flowed naturally between us; it was almost as if we had never been apart. Of course, in two years, both he and I had changed a lot, so it was a bit strange. However, that connection, that complicity we had, seemed intact.
I'm not sure how long we stayed on that porch, talking, but the bottle I had drunk was already half empty, and Chris must have been on his third joint since the beginning of our conversation.
"I can't believe you told him that!" Chris said, laughing.
"I warned you; I'm not the helpless little girl I used to be," I replied, chuckling and shrugging.
"Yeah, I saw that," he said, gradually stopping his laughter.
The silence returned, and I was lost in my thoughts, already quite tipsy and in a curious mood.
I had been hesitating for several minutes, debating whether to ask him a question. The more I drank, the more I wanted to ask, even though I knew it wasn't the best idea.
"Chris?" I finally said softly, breaking the silence.
"Hmm?" he simply replied, turning his head towards me.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him timidly.
"You just did," he said with a smirk.
"No, seriously, stop it!" I said, laughing and giving him a shoulder punch.
He straightened up, turning completely towards me, resting his head on his hand with his arm leaning against the top of the couch. "Seriously, I'm listening," he said, still with that sly smile.
His eyes were red and squinted because of the weed, and I won't lie, it made him quite sexy... or maybe I had had a bit too much to drink; what was I even saying?
"Have you dated other girls since we broke up?" I asked, instantly regretting it.
"Y/n—" he began before I cut him off.
"Sorry, that was a dumb question. I don't know what got into me," I said, hiding my face with my hands.
He chuckled at my action. "It's okay; I don't mind answering if you answer too..." he said, shrugging.
I removed my face from my hands to look up at him.
"But are you sure you really want to hear my answer?" he added.
I just nodded.
"I've slept with other girls, yes," he began, and I cut him off without thinking.
"How many?" I asked, sitting up.
"I don't really know, two or three, but they were just casual things, especially at the beginning when I needed to distract myself," he explained, feeling the need to justify himself.
"Okay... and why?" I asked.
"Why what?" he asked, confused.
"Why casual? In two years, you had plenty of time to find another amazing girl to be with. You can't make me believe that as the first one to fall for you, no other girl wanted you," I said, rolling my eyes.
"I didn't want to..." he confessed to me. "I— " he started before sighing, "I'm not sure if it's a good idea to explain why," he said, looking away.
"No, tell me; I want to know now," I urged him.
"Y/n," he said, looking me in the eyes.
"Chris, please, it's okay; we're just talking," I said, eager to know more.
"None of those girls were comparable to you," he admitted, "and I know it sounds silly, but it's just the truth. I couldn't get interested in those girls, and it wasn't their fault; they were interesting, and in another context, it might have worked with them," he said honestly.
"But my mind kept comparing them to you; none of them talked like you," he started saying, "none of them laughed like you," he added.
"None of them kissed like you," he said, looking at my lips, and I felt my panties dampen at that. Fuck.
"Every time I slept with another girl, I couldn't help but think of you, your body, and your moans," he said, lost in his thoughts.
"I couldn't stop thinking about how your lips wrapped so perfectly around me," he said, and I had to slightly open my mouth to get more air.
He shook his head, snapping back to reality. "Anyway, until now, I haven't been able to settle down with another girl because the only one I have in my mind is you," he said shyly.
I stared at him, mouth agape. I was dying to have him; everything he just told me had me way too excited.
"And you?" he asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"What?" I said, clearing my throat.
"And you, have you dated other guys?" he said, chuckling.
"Oh!" I said, blushing. "No, none," I replied timidly.
"None?" he repeated, surprised, and I simply shook my head from side to side.
"And how many guys have you slept with then?" he asked.
I took a moment to answer, embarrassed by the situation.
"Y/n, it's okay; you can tell me. I just told you mine!" he said, rolling his eyes.
"I-" I said before sighing and biting my lip, and he furrowed his brows.
"None..." I said softly.
His eyes widened at my response.
"Are you serious?" he asked to make sure.
"Stop it; you know very well that I'm not the type to sleep around," I said, feeling awkward.
"No, I know that; it's just hard for me to conceive that you've managed two years without sex," he said with a smirk.
"Wait, what does that mean?" I said, furrowing my brows.
"Y/n, when we were together, you played the innocent a lot, but you can't deny that you were just as horny as I was, if it’s not more…" he said, laughing.
"Chris!" I said, bringing my hand to my mouth before chuckling as well.
"No, I'm not saying it's a bad thing; on the contrary, it was something I loved about you," he said honestly.
"I even found it rather sexy..." he added, shrugging.
I squeezed my thighs together at that moment, and Chris noticed because I saw his eyes leave mine and land on my thighs.
"We should change the subject," I said, taking a deep breath and running my hands over my thighs, a bit embarrassed.
"Sorry, I didn't know it would have that effect on you," he said, unable to help but smile.
"It's okay," I said, biting my lip.
We looked at each other for a moment, both feeling a bit awkward.
His eyes briefly shifted to my chest, and that was the last straw for me.
Without thinking twice, I straddled him, immediately connecting our lips. He didn't waste a second to put his hands on my hips, making me moan.
He took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, and I started rocking my hips against him, making him groan in response.
His hands came to grip my hips to stop my movements, eliciting a frustrated groan from me.
"Y/n, this isn't right," he said, separating our lips.
"Chris, I don't care," I said, reconnecting our lips instantly. I was too hungry to stop there.
My hip movements resumed, and I could feel his erection through his jeans.
My hands were on his cheeks, and his hands firmly held my hips.
"You said we should do things right and that we were friends," he said, separating our lips again.
"Y/n, you've been drinking, and I don't want it to be something you regret tomorrow," he added.
"Some friends sleep together sometimes..." I said innocently, playing with his necklace.
He bit his lip and looked away. If there was one thing that could make this man weak, it was my way of acting innocently with him.
"Y/n," he said, closing his eyes and letting out a frustrated groan.
I knew I could make him crack; I just had to tease him enough.
I buried my head in his neck to kiss and leave a few love bites.
He tossed his head back to give me better access. "Fuck..." he whispered, and I slowly resumed my hip movements.
"Y/n, stop this," he said weakly, still with his fingers dug into my hips.
"Make me stop," I whispered in his ear before leaving a trail of kisses on his jawline.
"Y/n," he said in a firm voice this time, grabbing me by the neck to make me face him. "Don't play with my nerves like that."
"Chris, please," I said, gripping the wrist of the hand around my neck.
"I'm the one asking you. It's just a favor we're doing each other as friends," I said with a slight moan. "You help me fill the void I've felt for 2 years, and I give you the opportunity not to have to just imagine fucking me for once," I added.
"You said it yourself, no girl moans like me, no one kisses you like me, and their lips don't wrap around you as well as mine do," I continued to convince him.
"It's just a one-time thing. After that, I swear we'll be just friends for real, please, Chris, I need you," I pleaded.
I don't know if it was the alcohol or simply the lack of sex, but I never thought I'd be capable of saying such things to a guy in my life.
"Just a one-time thing?" he asked.
"Just a one-time thing," I replied, nodding.
"Fuck, this is so fucking wrong, y/n. What are you doing to me?" he said before kissing me again without removing his hand from my neck.
He slid his hand under my dress to grab my ass and massage it while helping me grind against him.
"Mmph, Chris," I moaned into our kiss.
"Shhhh," he said, slapping my ass.
I started pulling at his T-shirt to signal that I wanted him to take it off.
"Not here, princess," he said, smiling against my lips before separating them. "Stand up," he ordered, and I obeyed.
He stood up as well, firmly grabbing my hand before guiding us inside.
We quickly made our way through the crowd, passing by Nick, who tried to stop us, but Chris simply ignored him, too busy at that moment trying not to bend me over one of the tables in the house to fuck me in front of everyone.
We climbed the stairs, and Chris opened the first door he saw, which happened to lead to Julia's room. If she finds out about this, she's going to kill me.
He slammed the door shut behind us, making sure to lock it.
Then, he pressed me against that door, tightening his grip around my neck just enough to restrict the blood flow, causing my head to spin.
He wasted no time in forcefully removing my dress, it was so abrupt that he could have torn it if he wanted.
"Chris, be careful, take it easy," I said, chuckling, before he silenced me with yet another kiss.
"Don't ask me to fucking take it easy when you've spent the last 10 minutes teasing me on that damn couch, y/n," he said, removing his T-shirt.
He took off my bra, adding, "I fucking missed you."
The next moment, he slid his hands to the back of my thighs and lifted me, making me moan in surprise. It seemed like the hold he had on me back then hadn't changed.
He reconnected our lips, heading towards the bed where he tossed me, making me moan again from the sudden force.
"Chris," I sighed in a heated breath as I sat up, facing him at waist height.
But before I could reach for his belt to undress him, he violently pushed me back. "You'll move when I tell you to move. Have you forgotten your manners?" he said, a smirk playing on his lips.
His gaze was dark and intense; he could have threatened to kill me, and I would have moaned because of how much he affected me.
"Touch yourself," he ordered.
"What?" I said, feeling my face turn all red.
"Don't make me repeat myself; you heard me," he said authoritatively.
I swallowed hard before starting to take off my panties.
"I didn't tell you to remove your panties," he said, interrupting me.
"But—" I began to say before he cut me off.
"Is it so hard to be a good girl, Y/n? In two years, have you forgotten everything?" he said, shaking his head.
His words made me even wetter; I dreamed of one thing only: feeling him inside me.
"No, sorry," I said before starting to make circular motions on my clit through my panties.
He licked his lips, slowly removing his belt without taking his eyes off me.
"Stand up," he ordered.
Without hesitation, I stood up, still looking at him innocently in the eyes.
"You are so fucking beautiful, Y/n," he said, holding me by the chin.
His compliment made me immediately smile and blush.
"Your wrists," he asked, letting go of my chin, and I handed him my wrists.
With his belt, he tied my wrists together before kissing me.
He leaned towards me without breaking our lips to signal me to lie down on the mattress, which I did.
He separated our lips for a brief moment to press my arms above my head. "Don't move," he whispered before sliding his lips into my neck.
"My poor baby, I can't believe you've abstained for 2 years," he said before descending his kisses towards my chest.
"Now that I'm here, I'll take care of that for you, my princess," he said, circling one of my nipples with his lips to kiss it.
"Chris, please," I moaned, wriggling a bit.
"Shhhh, be patient, believe me, I won't stop there," he said before starting to descend his kisses towards my lower abdomen.
The closer he got to my thighs, the more I felt like I was losing my mind. It had been so long since I had felt that burning desire between my legs.
"Fuck, Chris, stop, please, I need you," I pathetically begged when he started to kiss my pussy through my panties.
He just chuckled at my pleas before removing my panties and diving his head between my legs.
He surrounded my clit with his lips, and I couldn't hold back the moans that escaped my mouth at that moment.
Lost in my own pleasure and especially completely carried away by the sensation of his tongue against me, I brought my two hands, still tied, to his hair to hold on.
He lifted his lips from me, making me raise my head towards him. "No, don't stop, Chris!" I said desperately.
"I told you not to move, Y/n," he reminded me, placing my hands back above my head.
"I'm sorry, I had—" I was interrupted in the middle of my sentence by his hands abruptly grabbing my waist to turn me over.
"What are you doing?" I said in a surprised moan when he grabbed my hips to put my ass in the air.
"This way, you'll have a much harder time moving," he said, and I could hear the smugness in his tone.
He kissed the base of my lower back, making me shiver, ensuring that my head remained pressed against the mattress below me.
He then placed a few kisses on my ass before resuming his work between my legs.
One of his hands kneaded my ass while he teased my entrance with the fingers of his other hand.
"Oh my—Chris," I said when he accelerated his tongue movements.
The sensation in my lower abdomen that I hadn't felt in so long was building up again; I was extremely close.
"C-Chris, I'm gonna cum," I moaned, burying my head in the pillow to try to muffle the sound of my moans.
"Give it to me, baby," he said, inserting two of his fingers into me and reconnecting his tongue to my clit.
"Fuck, Chris!" I exclaimed, feeling my legs tremble, and within seconds, my orgasm overwhelmed me.
Chris didn't detach his lips from me; he continued, and his fingers didn't slow down either. "Chris, I- I can't," I told him, breathless.
He detached himself from me at the sound of my words and turned me over again onto the mattress to kiss me.
I put my hands, still tied behind his neck, to bring him impossibly closer to me, which seemed to amuse him, judging by the way he smiled against my lips.
"You taste so fucking good, baby," he complimented me between our kisses, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
I was still very sensitive, but I wanted more, I needed more.
So, I tightened my legs around his waist so that his erection pressed against my pussy.
"Are you that impatient?" he chuckled before reaching between our bodies to unbutton his pants, and I just nodded.
He straightened up to completely remove his pants and boxers before returning to position himself between my legs.
"If it hadn't been so long, I would've edged you for hours," he said, rubbing his tip against my thighs without entering.
"Chris, please, stop talking—" Before I could finish my sentence, he entered me without warning, making me moan in harmony with him.
"Oh my god, y/n, fuck, you're so—" I didn't let him finish his sentence, immediately capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.
He started moving inside me slowly, taking care to go all the way in with each thrust.
Our lips were still connected, our tongues perfectly synchronized—everything was perfect with him.
His pelvic movements accelerated, prompting me to throw my head back to moan once again.
"God, I'll never get tired of the sounds you make. Fuck, it's too good," Chris said, moaning as well, his head completely immersed in my neck, where he left fiery kisses.
"Chris—mmph," I started to speak but couldn't formulate my words correctly. Chris fucked me so well that I lost my words.
"What, baby? What do you want?" he said, seizing my chin to make me look into his eyes.
"I want to—fuck!" I said, moaning and closing my eyes. I felt him everywhere in me; it was too good.
"You can do it, sweetheart. Take your time," he said with a smirk, not slowing down.
"I want to touch you," I said, moaning again. "Please, Chris, I need to feel you," I begged.
He momentarily straightened up without pulling out to unfasten the belt around my wrists.
"Here you go, baby," he said in a soft voice before kissing me again.
This time, my hands went into his hair, neck, and back. I dug my nails into his back and biceps, completely controlled by my pleasure, and began to feel all these sensations invade me.
"Chris, oh my god, I'm so close!" I whined.
He sat up on his knees without pulling out. I moaned as he grabbed my legs and pulled them closer, penetrating even deeper.
"Mmmh, Chris," I moaned, raising my head to look at him.
"Shhhh," he said, placing my legs on either side of his head and encircling my knees with his arms to make sure I couldn't move.
He began thrusting into me at an unbearable speed, and the new angle allowed him to go really deep. His eyes were fixed on the lower part of my belly, where he could see himself entering and exiting. "Fuck," he exclaimed, keeping his mouth open.
"Chris! Chris, fu—god, don't stop!" I said, feeling my orgasm hit me hard when I started clenching around him. He spread my legs again to kiss me while still penetrating me, allowing me to ride out my orgasm.
He gradually stopped his pelvic movements while continuing to kiss me. Our kiss was tired and messy, but he didn't stop there.
We were both catching our breath. He separated our lips, pressing his forehead against mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds before he straightened up and withdrew from me, making me moan because I was still extremely sensitive.
I expected anything but what he did the next second. He grabbed me by the hips and turned me over again, pushing me on all fours.
"Chris, what—" Before I could finish my sentence, he started pounding into me without mercy, making me cry out in surprise and pleasure.
"Oh my fuck, Chris, I can't!" I told him, burying my head in the pillow once again.
"Yes, of course, you can. I know you have one more for me," he said without slowing down this time, bringing his fingers to my clit, making my eyes roll back in my head.
It felt so good, but I was still too sensitive; he didn't give me enough respite. I felt like my heart was going to give out from the intensity. I couldn't help but moan, even though I was unsure if I really wanted him to stop because I could already feel my third orgasm approaching.
"Do you really want me to stop?" he said in my ear, slowing down and pressing his chest against my back.
When he slowed down, I felt my orgasm slipping away, and I thought I was losing my mind. "No! Don’t stop, I can take it!" I said, shaking my head.
He wrapped his arm around my throat to hold me in place "that's my girl," he said and sank his teeth into my shoulder, mixing pleasure and pain in the best way possible. He sped up again, his fingers massaging my clit, and his shaft going as deep as possible, making me see stars.
I was close, and so was he; I could feel it in the way he moaned. "Y/n, oh my—"
"Chris, I'm so close," I cried, feeling my orgasm on the verge of exploding.
"Give it to me, baby. Fuck, cum for me, princess," he said, and that was all I needed to climax. This one was more intense than the others, stronger and more hypnotic.
After a few more thrusts, Chris also came, moaning my name in my ear. "Oh my god," he said, breathless, before pulling out and collapsing beside me.
I didn't move a muscle, too exhausted from everything that had just happened. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, concerned, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Yes, I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath," I replied, chuckling.
He laughed too before getting up to find something to clean me up. After a few minutes catching my breath in Chris's arms, we decided to get dressed and join our friends downstairs before someone noticed our absence.
And when I say someone, I obviously mean Julia, who will probably kill me when she finds out I slept with Chris in her bed.
Before leaving Julia's room, Chris kissed me one last time. "I missed you so fucking much," he said.
I chuckled before replying, "I missed you too, but we need to leave this room now." I said playfully, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder.
We finally left the room, and our paths separated when we arrived in the living room because Nick needed to talk to Chris privately.
I was about to join my best friend when I felt someone grab my arm.
I turned to see who it was and found myself face to face with a girl with brown hair and light eyes.
"Who the fuck are you?" she asked me, full of rage.
I was completely confused because I didn't know this girl at all, and I didn't understand why she was addressing me this way.
"Hmm? Y/n, who are you?" I asked, furrowing my brows.
Her eyes widened when she heard my name, and she let out a fake laugh at my response.
"I'm Tess, Chris's girlfriend!" she said with a big smile before approaching me. "So I suggest you keep your distance from him if you don't want me to bash your little depraved slut face!" she said, pushing me before turning on her heel and walking away.
Chris's girlfriend?!!
What the fuck?
Taglist: @chrisloyalgf @christopherscamopants @blahbel668 @thematthewlover @mattsturnioloarchive @carolinalikesthings @bernardsgf @whicked-hazlatwhore @hearts4chris
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Text
I had a job interview today. I live in a slightly more affluent area right now. I go in after preparing for it and I'm told that the position has already been filled. The manager takes me to the office and reiterates that the store is no longer hiring. She says I should have been notified by email (I wasn't). I'm looking for work but that would have been a perfect position. I'm tempted to call back tomorrow in my most alabaster voice and ask if there are any positions open and record the phone call. But aside from that, starting next week I'm going to be alone at my dad and stepmom's house for 2 and a half weeks while they leave the country with very minimal funds or support from people like friends of family and I'm anxious about it. I need money to get by while I'm there. I'm looking for work and need money for food, transportation, and just relief in general for my situation. They won't be back until mid September. I'm incredibly anxious about the situation. If anyone can donate to me while they are absent it would provide me a sense of security and I'd be able to take care of myself. I'm in a neighborhood where I stick out like a sore thumb and deal with racism quite literally every time I step outside. It's agonizing. I know that help is there, don't scroll past. Please, I implore you, give it if you have it or tell the people you know to help. This is how you do work as an ally. I'm applying for food stamps and I'm without resources until I get benefits from my county.
cash.me/$tomi1
Venmo: tominova
PayPal.me/tominova
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lizzaneia-elizalde · 3 months
Note
What about a yandere king x reader (make or female) and reader is basically a spy, making the king fall in love with them to get information etc, and reader basically tries to kill the king in his sleep but he lives cause he's a warrior at heart 💪(bbg energy lol) and basically what the king would do in that situation
An extremely cliche scenerio
Yandere! Male! King x Gn! Spy! Reader
Ugh Uni just started last week, and it was not... Fun.
One of our classes start at 7:30, and my Uni is like 30minutes-1hour far from my house so AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Anyways, there's no classes today so I got to actually write.
I got quickly uncomfortable writing this HAHAHAH damn. So, if noncon is not your tea, or you're looking for a fluffy fic, I suggest you don't read this one. I'm serious. This is not romantic in any way.
Yandere! King name: Soma
TW: NonCon
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At Saphiri, there's a lot of Kingdoms and Sultanates, and a handful of Empires. One of the Kingdoms is called the Caelum Kingdom.
It's a newly established Kingdom, and was once a sizable city without a nation. Built from the foundations of a trading center.
It's a Kingdom formed on an archipelago separated by streams of salt water and fresh water in between their islands. A tight knit community, they thrive in tourism, trading, and textile export. They were honestly on a breakthrough to become an Empire, and it was just a matter of time.
Caelum has been led by the Elara family for generations upon generations. They were the first to discover the island, to establish itself as a city, and a kingdom as they led and oversaw the whole archipelago.
And currently, it's led by Soma Elara, the 3rd born crown prince and now the King of Caelum.
Soma, being the 3rd born, didn't really have that much chance on the throne. That, and his siblings, especially the first born, were smart and all had a chance at taking the throne.
He hated it dearly.
His mother, the second Queen after the previous died, is a greedy woman.
She sees Soma as a tool, and wanted him to succeed the throne.
If not... Let's just say the back of his legs will have more scars decorated on them.
Soma suffered abuse at the hand of his mother who wanted him to catch the attention of the King. And him, conditioned by his abusive upbringing, caught the want for power from his mother.
Ego and Pride. Those two prospects were pummeled into Soma's mind. Nobody can become the King. Only he is worthy of the throne.
So, he became the perfect prince. Nevermind that he orchestrated events in which it would humiliate his siblings. That's irrelevant. What's important is him.
The perfect gentleman with the wits of a genius, he became the crown prince when the selection came.
And, to solidify his place...
His older siblings were pronounced dead due to "freak accidents". One was devoured by sea monsters, the other was torn apart by demons. The younger ones were lucky, they only got to be a bit disabled due to "their own faults at being clumsy".
To not raise suspicion, of course Soma got hurt. Dead almost, but he miraculously recovered! How delightful!
The poor scapegoat is the youngest. And, as she got executed, Soma had a cold look of arrogance on his face.
The Queen?
She's afraid of the monster she created. She wanted a King, not a tyrant.
And, as she trembles when her friends tell her how good of a King her son is, Soma glares at her coldly from the balcony, daring her to speak ill of him.
Years passed, and Soma is now of marriageable age at 25.
His advisers told him to find a Queen, but he refuses to do so.
He's thinks having a Queen would make him look weak in the eyes of people.
So, why get a Queen when he can be an absolute Patriarch?
His Pride cannot allow for a potential weakness.
Not until a certain new person entered the palace as a stableperson...
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Soma is welcoming foreign envoys to his palace, in which they would have a inter-country peace talks about a certain Emperor who is wreaking havoc amongst other kingdoms in search of a knight. They said that she was the supposed to be Empress, but fled the Empire.
Even one of the Dukes there, Duke Eros, is here to talk about the man.
As Soma guides the envoys to the palace grand meeting room, a certain servant caught his eyes.
They were frolicking with his horse, who was known to be too stubborn for its own good. Heck, this horse needs coaxing from Soma even just to let him ride on it.
But this stableperson was just... Hugging and petting his horse without any kind of violent reaction.
Honestly, Soma's ego was bruised.
His eyebrows furrowed as he led the envoys to the meeting hall once more.
He needs to know who this person is.
After quite the gruelling three hours of a collective disbelief over the actions of the Emperor Callisto, Soma got out of the meeting room and bid a good day to the envoys. Without any more distractions, he marched to the stables to find the person.
There, he saw you. Brushing the coat of his horse ever so gently and with a hum.
Oh he's annoyed.
Again, how can this pride filled horse just... Let's you be?
"State your name."
Your head, that was hidden due to being on the other side of the horse, popped out of the frame and he lets out a confused look.
You look so... Cute and innocent with those sparkling eyes that held so much affection for the horse in front of you.
"Oh! Your majesty!" You bowed. Even your voice sounds so sweet. "My name is Y/N. I'm not unworthy to meet you but..."
You looked up at him, eyes sparkling once more but now, with affection for him.
Oh?
"But I am so glad to meet you, your majesty."
Your voice held so much affection and love for him.
He cleared his throat, a bit awkward.
Sure, people admired him, but these people always held reverence and respect first. But here you are, projecting your affection like this.
His ego was fed immensly.
"You're bold." Soma smirked, "I like that."
He didn't miss the way your eyes widened subtly. Your face glowed with radiance of happiness that he was so sure he got blinded.
"Oh! Oh my..." You held your blushing cheeks, shy. "Thank you, your majesty... Um Oh..."
You bowed and ran away, fully embarrassed.
Soma, surprised, let his guard down a bit as he laughed gently at your antics.
You were like a deer that was curious, then runs away when get caught.
He liked that.
Immensly.
Yet, what he doesn't know, is that you were smirking as you ran away.
You knew that a prideful man like him wouldn't like a strong independent person.
That would just clash with his personality.
But, what if that person was cute, innocent, shy, friendly... Someone who is easily protect-able. Someone who loves them immensely and is shy about it?
It would inflate his ego wildly seeing this naive person love them without a care.
You're a spy sent by the Emperor Callisto in order to find his darling knight here. And, if you can't find her, you just need to send the Emperor information, so that he can infiltrate the Kingdom and wreck havoc just to lure out the knight.
Honestly, the Emperor scares you. Who's crazy enough to wage countless wars just to find his woman?
Or does he delight in bloodshed and finding his darling is just an excuse?
Who knows, but you knew you have to kill Soma after you extracted enough information from him to start the war inside the Kingdom.
Starting with capturing the heart of the Prideful King.
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"Soma!"
You ran to Soma and hugged him tightly. A happy smile on your face with a blush well orchestrated that you know he loves.
Soma smiles and kisses the top of your head before continuing to talk to his Prime Minister.
In those two months that you were here, you painstakingly captured Soma in your hands. Continuing to act as the naive person who doesn't know noble etiquette, you were a breath of fresh air in the uptight palace.
The servants love you, the other nobles look longingly your way, wanting to act as carefree as you.
And Soma? He's head over heels for you.
Yet, in his mind, you were the one in love. Not him. He loves having you by his arms, with you just loving him affectionately and being there to relieve his stress.
You were promoted to consort immediately once you confessed to him fully, and was now a precious being inside the Kingdom.
After all, this King who doesn't want marriage, with ego so high people swore it was through the heavens, suddenly had a consort on their way to become his royal partner.
Soma gave you everything. He loves giving you gifts, asserting dominance as he spoils you greatly.
And, as his reward, you would pour your affection to him while asking about information that he willingly gave.
After all, the foolish king still thinks you won't betray him.
You were only a stableperson, who in their right mind would betray him? Someone who's such a catch?
Sure, he's really handsome. People were lining left and right for his hand in marriage after all. And he spoils you greatly. You won't betray him. He knows it.
But, why are you straddling his lap now, in the middle of the knight, with a knife raised up high?
You were staring at him so coldly, he swore you are a different person.
Anguish, that's what Soma felt first.
He wanted to ask you why, but anger immediately filled him as you swung the knife down.
You're fast, but not fast enough.
He grabbed your hand and gripped it hard, making you seethe and drop the knife hilt down on the bed.
"WHY?!" He screamed, trying to clutch your body to submission. "HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!"
You gritted your teeth and tried to thrash away from his hold, not saying anything.
When he got you pinned down on the bed, he grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him.
"Who sent you." He chillingly said that you gulped and shakily answered.
"Emperor Callisto."
Soma stopped, eyes darkened to a degree.
Yet, the words that came out of his mouth was surprising for you.
"So, you're doing this for a man other than me?"
He threw his head back, laughing wildly as his pride got pummeled fully.
First, you made him dance on your palm. Make him spill information and secrets. Let him spoil you greatly. Let you love him freely! And this is how you pay him? A betrayal for another man?
You're such a greedy fucker.
"Oh, cuz he's an Emperor, isn't he?" He spat out, eyes wide with extreme jealousy and unbridled rage. His squeeze on your waist was hurting you immensely. "And i'm not? Is this it? Do you spread your legs to men of higher status huh?"
Your heart dropped when you saw him take off his dress shirt, displaying his carved out muscles that once brought you lust, but now it brought you fear.
Soma gripped your shirt, eyes dead with no light. His mouth a thin light as he captured your lips in a frenzied kiss.
He's no one with pride now. His ego gone.
The betrayal made him crazy as you made him crazy for you.
Placing a palm on your abdomen, he smirks. An evil intent on his eye.
"I'm gonna fuck/breed you into submission." He growls out, grinding his hips against yours. "I'm gonna make you forget the Emperor. I only want you to only live for me, sing and dance for me, I want you to only love me."
And as he relishes in the fear in your eyes, he smirks.
You're his.
And he will break you into being his if you try to get out of his clutches at all.
Remember that.
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talaok · 9 months
Text
Chapter one: The perfect life
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Pairing: No-outbreak!Joel x married!reader
Series summary: You moved to Austin Texas with your husband due to his job, but your already troubled marriage is about to get more complicated when the contractor remodeling your home, Joel Miller, will enter both of your lives.
Chapter summary: Moving to Austin was the right decision, but you can't shake the feeling that something's wrong.
warnings: hints to the reader's unhappy childhood, and a very short smut moment
Next chapter
New city, new home, new life.
You should have been happy, you really should have been, but the weight that had sat on your chest as you got on the plane had lingered.
You wanted this. You had to.
You had the perfect life.
A big house with an even bigger lawn, more money than you ever thought possible, and a loving husband.
A loving husband of two years, a loving husband who had to move to Texas for work, a loving husband who you followed across the country, leaving everything and everyone behind, because it's him, and you love him. 
Yes. You love him, just as he loves you.
You just needed time, time to adjust, and find a way to start new.
And Austin seemed as good a place as any.
It's warm and sunny here, and the city has an aura you had never quite encountered in any other place.
It's different from New York, yes, but different is good, different means change, and you needed a change.
"I smell burnt"
"oh- shit" you hissed, your gaze finally dropping from the window and down towards the pan where bacon was frying.
You turned the stove off and opened the window, trying to get some of the smell out. 
"You ok?" 
You looked at Richard, his deep blue eyes, perfectly slicked-back hair, and the tailored suit hugging his body like a second skin made him look as if he had come straight out of a commercial.
He wasn't watching you anymore, his attention had moved to the coffee maker.
"yeah I'm fine, I'm just a little tired I guess"
"you should rest today," he said, pouring some coffee into a cup
"I will" you nodded, glancing at the pan "I should probably make more bacon"
"don't worry" he stopped you "I'll just eat something on the way"
"you sure?"
"Yeah" He took a sip from his mug and set down on a stool 
"So..." you walked to the opposite side of the kitchen counter to face him "Are you nervous?"
He raised his eyes from his phone to look at you.
"Why would I be? I'm the boss"
"yeah, but it's still your first day"
He shrugged "I just want to get it over with, today's only gonna be meetings and people introducing themselves, tomorrow's gonna be my actual first day"
"right," you offered him a small smile "And have you talked to Francis?"
"Yeah, he said he'll show me around today" 
He stood up to place the cup in the sink.
"and about the remodeling?"
"Right, yeah he gave me a number, I'll text it to you"
"great"
Silence fell, and with it, a spell seemed to turn you both to stone
He broke it first
"Right" he glanced at his watch "I better go"
"Right," you said, taking a step closer to him.
His lips were on and off of yours so quickly you wondered if you had imagined it.
"Have a great day" you managed, as he walked out of the room
"you too"
__ __ __
The shelves had finally started to come to life.
"Why do we have to bring all your books, it's a waste of time" you recalled Richard saying "It's not like you're gonna read all of them again"
It infuriated you how he didn't get it, how completely baffled he was by your decision.
Like hell you were leaving such an important part of you back home.
Some of the volumes filling the living room you've had since you were a child, some of these stories raised you when there was no one else bothering to do the job.
A small, unexpected smile pulled at your lips as your gaze fell to the last remaining book in the box.
'scary stories to tell in the dark'
You were only 12 years old when you read it. You had found it in the school library, and tempted by a bravado that didn't belong to you, you had picked it up and stuffed it in your bag, carrying it all the way home as if it were the most precious treasure ever known to man.
It had helped silence the screams down the hallway, but it also made it impossible for you to sleep for a whole week.
A quiet laugh climbed your throat as you remembered watching every shadow in your room mutate into a horrifying monster.
You had never given it back.
The barely-together copy in your hands was the same one you had held 22 years ago.
For some reason, out of all the books you've read, this one you held closer to your heart.
Perhaps it was the rebellion behind the act, or perhaps, it was the feeling that that book had given you, the courage, the proof that you could do it, that you were gonna come out the other end, the proof, at last, that monsters can be fought, and at times even defeated.
You sighed, as you settled the book onto the now overflowing shelf, taking a step back to admire the living room.
That's it.
Piece by piece, you were gonna make this your home.
The next hours passed in a frenzy and by the time only a box was left on the floor, it was two in the afternoon.
You had been so caught up with your work you had forgotten to eat.
And now that you realized... god if you weren't hungry.
It's just one more box though, you thought as you peeked at it.
Yeah, c'mon I can do this
Only the stuff for the coffee table remained, and as you took the first item-
Fuck.
The shattered lamp rested on the floor like paint on a Pollok.
Fuck me, man, that was expensive.
You cringed as you bent to try and pick up the sharp pieces, but of course, as a ringing sounded across the room, you gasped and lost your focus, cutting your finger on the glass.
A stinging pain shot through you and you winced loudly, stumbling backward while trying hard not to look at the blood.
This really wasn't the time to be fainting.
Your phone was still annoyingly ringing.
"What?" you picked up without bothering to look
"I'm sorry is this a bad time?" what sounded like a confused male's voice spoke through the phone.
"Richard?" you frowned as you realized it was an unknown number "I'm sorry who's this?"
"I'm Joel, Joel Miller, from the contracting company" he paused "Your husband gave me your number"
"oh" you breathed "I-I'm sorry, he didn't tell me"
"Ma'am if this is a bad time I can call you later"
"no, no please don't worry I just- Now it's fine"
"ok good, your husband has told me you want to do some remodeling?"
"Yeah, we have a big room on the second floor that's unutilized and I'd like to build up a wall and make it into two rooms, perhaps a guest bedroom and bathroom"
He hummed, considering your words "That shouldn't be a problem, I'd like to come to your house one of these days so I can see the space firsthand"
"Yeah sure" You nodded, wrapping a paper towel around your finger once you walked to the kitchen "Would tomorrow be alright?"
"Absolutely, how does 10:30 sound?"
"perfect" you smiled 
"Alright then, if you just give me your address we're gonna be all set"
"of course"
__ __ __
he didn't come home for dinner.
"I'll eat out with some of my colleagues"
That's all he said.
And before you knew it you were heating a frozen pizza in the oven, and watching the sun disappear on the horizon through the kitchen window.
It was good that he stayed out, that's what you kept repeating in your head.
It's good that he's already getting to know his colleagues, and it's good that he's already settling in, it's perfect.
It's what you should be doing.
And yes you would have liked to spend more time with him today, but there's still tomorrow, and the day after that... there's still the rest of your life, one day certainly won't make a difference.
And it's not like you didn't enjoy the quiet, it gave you time to think, to look around the bare walls and ponder what you should fill them with.
A painting there, a mirror there, photos there... it was all coming together in your head.
The house had started to look more like a home, your home.
It was 9 pm by the time you decided to go to bed, it was early for your standards, but you'd had a long day.
He wasn't home yet.
You didn't know what time it was when you heard the front door open, but you were still awake, having tossed and turned hoping to tire yourself out for what felt like an eternity.
"hey" you murmured, once he entered the bedroom
"What are you doing up?"
"I couldn't sleep"
He only nodded, as he started undressing
"So how did it go?"
"well," he said "Everyone seems nice enough"
"I'm glad" you smiled, turning on your side to look at him better "I unboxed everything for the living room today"
"cool," he sighed, hanging his suit and walking into the bathroom.
You laid there, listening to the toilet flush and the sink being shut on and off.
He emerged from the door again and made his way into the bed.
"And the contracting guy called" you continued, as he made himself comfortable "He'll come by tomorrow"
"that's good" he breathed, turning the light off 
"I told him what we wanna do and he said it shouldn't be a problem"
"yeah?" he asked, as you felt him shuffle closer to you
"Yup, he said he's done stuff like that before and he just needs to-" Your words got lost in your throat once you felt his hand travel to your chest.
"Richard?" you murmured, while his mouth moved to your shoulder and slowly up your neck.
The smell of his two hundred dollars aftershave hit your nostrils immediately.
"mh?" he hummed, letting his hand sneak down to find your ass through your shorts.
"Richard... I'm tired" you whimpered
"C'mon baby, you don't have to do anything I'll do all the work"
His hands on you felt inexplicably wrong right at that moment.
"I just-" you tried to slowly shift away from his grip "I've unpacked all day, I don't feel like it"
He emitted an audible groan "Y/n it's been like a month since you've last felt like it"
Your mouth closed as quickly as it had opened.
It was the truth, you hadn't been in the mood for a while now. 
"I'm sorry, I don't know- maybe tomorrow..."
He sighed, pushing himself off of you
"Whatever"
A small gust of air sent a shiver up your spine as he got up.
"where are you going?" you asked, watching his shadow move around the room.
"I'll just watch some tv or something"
"oh- alright," your voice was so small you almost didn't sound like yourself.
He didn't seem to hear you as he closed the door behind him, casting a veil of darkness over the room.
Once again, you were alone.
You turned towards the window, the moon's soft glow split the ocean of blue in the sky, shily lighting the neighborhood.
You felt a knot in your stomach, a sudden urge to cry, but as you watched the wind glide through the leaves and trees and grass, you were able to breathe, breath with each gust, slowly willing your heart to stop racing and your eyes to dry.
There was nothing to cry about.
Everything was good, great, fantastic even.
You had the perfect life.
Everything you had ever dreamed of was right in your grasp.
You just needed time, and everything was gonna work itself out fine.
Next chapter
...
(if you’d like to be added to the taglist comment or text me)
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icaruspendragon · 3 months
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Hi! A while ago I saw one of your tiktoks about how northern democrats typically view people from Appalachia, and it really made me re-examine some biases I had and I deeply appreciated that. I'm from New Hampshire, and basically this primary season we were completely ignored by democratic candidates because of some issues with the DNC and our primary being labeled "unsanctioned". It was weird to not feel supported or valued by my party for the first time ever, (especially when NH tends to get a lot of attention) and it reminded me of your tiktok and how you mentioned that republicans tend to reach out to people in the south while democrats tend to ignore them as a lost cause. Because I saw that happening here with an insanly disproportionate republican presence in my state leading to the primaries. I know the comparisons aren't equal, but it helped drive home the message for me and gave me just a taste of what you explained so clearly in your tiktok. I understand if you choose not to post this, but I really wanted to thank you for opening my eyes and helping me face some biases I didn't know I had.
hello and thank you (for re-examining your biases and for writing me this message). i'm gonna use this as a chance to restate some of the things i mentioned in the video you're talking about.
i'd like to start this by saying i know appalachia and the south aren't perfect. there's racism and homophobia and bigotry. being someone who is marginalized or minoritized in appalachia/the south isn't always easy. but appalachia/the south doesn't have the monopoly on bigotry. america is rife with it. it's something marginalized folks all over the country have to face. and when northern dems act like racism and homophobia and bigotry are things that don't occur in their state simply because it's a blue state, they're doing an incredible disservice to the marginalized people that live in their communities who are facing the results of bigotry.
the folks living in appalachia/the south are heavily stereotyped as nothing more than ignorant backwood cousin fucking hillbillies, and while there are people that live here that fit that bill, appalachia/the south is not a monolith.
appalachia is region that spans from mississippi all the way to new york. the south (depending on who you ask) consists of 17 different states. and here's a little fun fact about the south for ya: according to the 2020 census, out of the 41.6 million black people that live in america, 38.9% of them live in the south.
so when that entire region is written off, forgotten about, and treated as a lost cause it's not the bigots that are being left behind; it's the marginalized people that live here that are being written off. the very same folks democrats and liberals love claiming they care about are the ones being left behind.
one of the reasons republicans have such a strong hold on appalachia/the south is because they put in the work to earn the trust of the voter. work that democrats just don't do. so of course republicans are gonna get the vote, they earned it.
other reasons for the stronghold existing (that people never wanna talk about for some reason) are: gerrymandering, voter suppression, lack of state funding that leads to lack of education, general lack of education, high poverty rates, lack of internet access. i could go on and on.
there are so many marginalized people that live in this region that are working themselves to the bone and trying their damndest to make appalachia/the south a better place for EVERYONE to live and when high falutin yankees act like every single person that lives here is the racist uncle you have to ignore at christmas, they are discrediting the work being done to try and change the region for the better.
allow me to say this again: when appalachia/the south is written off as nothing more than a home to bigots, it's not the bigots being written off, it's the people affected by bigotry.
there are people fighting to make these areas better. we are trying. so please, please stop writing us off.
we are not a lost cause.
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onsunnyside · 1 year
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ok so i've been trying to come up with a mafia trope for this ask by the bestie @bimbofawn: now this isn't a full-blown mob fic, but it has a few elements
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The Camerons have all the wealth, influence and success anyone can dream of. They come from a long lineage of fame and riches, now running the parent company of many subsidiaries with power all across the country. It's no surprise they're involved in a few shady businesses, yet it's all kept tightly under wraps.
As the heir to a vast dynasty, Rafe grew up under a lot of pressure to be the best in what he does, and his ego is proof of that. He's in the tabloids, the ivy league graduate by day and the wild bachelor by night, landing himself in more scandals than ass-kissing articles.
The Camerons are known for their prestige and (heavily manufactured) picture-perfect image. So Rafe's sleazy, immature behaviour just won't do. Although he's doing good with the shady side of the family business (bc ofc he's into violence and drug trafficking/manufacturing), he needs to do better with the public side. To give his son a motive for cleaning up his act, he gives him an ultimatum: lose it all and get disowned or settle down.
Now, he has a few months to find someone, but his ego won't let him settle for just anyone. The headlines aren't any comfort either: Pleasure Over Business: Is Rafe Cameron responsible for the fall of the Cameron dynasty?
This is very off-to-the-races coded: you drift into his sector on his friend's arm one night. He shrugs you off, expecting there to be a different girl the next time they go to the clubs (because there always is) but nope, you show up again and again.
It’s hard for him to ignore someone so kindhearted and naturally alluring. He can’t look away from you sipping on the straw, your calm gaze locked on his, making him stumble over his words like a teenager with a crush. He dreams of you every time he falls asleep, your pretty face burned on the inside of his eyelids as if you belonged there.
But one night his friend shows up with a different girl.
"Her rates got too high, and my folks were getting suspicious so I had to let her go, unfortunately." He exhales, his arm around the other woman kissing up his neck.
Now, did he predict you were an escort? Not at all. It catches him off guard and he almost spits up his drink. "You paid her to date you?"
Topper glares, "you don't have to say it like that. We did more than just make appearances together if that's what you're asking. All consensual, of course, but you do have to pay extra for private um... sessions."
me senses... a sugar-baby proposition: "I'll take care of everything, all expenses, your rent, and an allowance on top of that. Anything you want you can have."
You're still apprehensive, you've taken clients who've heard of you from word of mouth before, but this was new. They were best friends who routinely saw each other, you'd hate to stir the pot. "Won't it be weird?"
"You with Top was just business and so is what I'm offering." Perhaps that was a little white lie, but you didn't need to know that. "No harm, no foul. In my hands, you could live better than this."
"I like my home." You mutter, hugging a pillow to your chest, it was one of the many mismatched cushions that littered your old couch. "I worked hard to get it this way."
He nudges the wobbly table by the door, the picture frames rattling on the surface. "For thousands of dollars a night, I would've expected some sense of luxury, or a stove with actual knobs." He says and quirks a brow, "where'd all that money go?"
"Oh... I had to give my boss his cut."
"How much is that?"
"80 percent." You admit, ducking away when Rafe frowns, "I know, I know... It wasn't my fault, my daddy—" Your voice cracks, "My daddy got involved with a bad man after he gambled away all our savings and my college fund. And he still couldn't stop after my mama left. I had to—I had to help somehow."
You still remember returning from campus to see him bruised and battered on the living room floor, crying for your mother who was halfway across the world, now a happily divorced woman. The memory brings tears to your eyes and they stream down your cheeks.
Rafe bites his tongue, rethinking his decision to show up here in the first place. Your unlucky life only made you more perfect, and as terrible as it sounded, he knows he won't find anyone more fitting for his circumstances.
He refused to leave until you agreed.
"What's his name?"
You don't hear him over your sniffles and rub your nose into your pillow, "huh?"
He crouches by your feet, placing a hand on your thigh. "What's the big bad man's name, sweetie?"
"Why—Why are you asking..."
The blue in his eyes seems darker, but it could just be the dim lightbulbs you haven’t changed yet. He blinks up at you with thick lashes, a slow smile crawling onto his face.
"I'm going to prove to you that when you're with me, you've got nothing to worry about."
And the next night, he shows up at your door with a fresh bouquet of flowers and bruised knuckles. You don’t get one word out before drops a heavy duffel bag on the floor, “here’s the money you deserve for your work, and extra for your troubles.”
You glance at the bag and then his face, your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. “What—What did you do?”
He smiles, cocking his head to the side. “Nothing you have to worry about, sweetheart.” He says, wiping toothpaste from the corner of your lip. “Now, are you going to invite me in?”
Rafe is very possessive, he doesn’t care that you dated/slept with his friend because you belong to him now. He buys you a gold necklace with his initial on it, parades you around the city for all the nosy paps to see, and brings you home to meet his family. And yes, you do get the gold seal of approval from his father.
well this is just a mash-up of different tropes 🫡 fake relationship, sugar daddy and mob, with rafe's signature "you're mine" mindset. me has a few slutty and soft ideas for this au too hehe
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