#I'm really just too busy to post anything right now ok

[djappleblush]

Dongfang Qingcang, grabbing Xiao Lanhua: I need you.

Xiao Lanhua: For?

Dfqc:...ever.

[queenie-the-court-jester]

HII, saw your post on wanting asks, well here 🫶 I love talking so, and specifically on playboy yandere!! I'm a sucker for angst and yanderes falling into insanity honestly, so let me ramble a bit

- imagine if reader graduates highschool and gets an overseas scholarships!! They also convince their family to move together with them so Kameron can't hurt or use them to blackmail reader. So with only a break up text saying like "bye manwhore 😍😍", blocking and deleting all their social media, I wonder how long and how far would he take to get reader back again? Would he inherit his parent's riches, hire some private investigatiors to find reader and find the country they're living in, expand his business over to their country in order to gain power to trap his darling. And I wonder how deranged his reaction would be to reader's text and be like no way, they're joking right, and runs to their house and whatever usual spots they're at normally, and just break down into insanity. would he try to use substitutes for reader to maintain his sanity or go fully devoid of emotions and start working hard to gain power and influence to find reader again!! I'm also curious how he would process his darling leaving him, would he become delusional first, saying they got kidnapped or something, or some ex or fling of his hurt reader, and then proceed to anger, depression, grief and then finally accept the reality!!

Ok that's a lot of rambling 😭😭 hope it's okay. I rlly enjoyed that fic, was rent FREE in my mind for a whole day

you know luci, you just gave me an idea. So have a part TWO of THIS DUMBASS HOE 🤝

Yandere playboy x reader

Tw: mentions of murder, kameron being delulu, yandere and obsessive behavior

💋kameron was having another breakdown. Sobbing pathetically on the floor of your old bedroom. Just how did you run away? And on such short notice too!? Didn't his love mean anything to you!? WHY DID YOU ABANDON HIM?

💋a million thoughts swirled through his head, until he finally got one that just... stuck. He had to get you back. No matter how long it takes. Getting up and dusting himself off, he kicked the front door open and quickly left the empty house

💋it was a shame really. The once sane and popular boy was struggling to keep his image. So he got help. Not professional as in therapists and medication. Just hiring other students to cover for him Incase he slipped up. all while snooping through the head teachers computer to see if they had any notes on where you might have gone. He almost got caught a few times

"shit that was close.. i can't believe these idiots leave their passwords just anywhere"

💋he knew he shouldn't be back at the school, especially since he graduated but he needs all the information he can get. Eventually moving onto private investigators and online stalking through multiple other accounts. He'd try anything just to see what his darling was doing without him. Were you enjoying making him suffer? You're so cruel..

💋hiring other people to befriend you and lower your guard, gathering any Information they can

💋 kameron who spent a while convincing his parents to let him take hold of the company. He had a degree, a bright mind, responsibility. He's perfect for the job! Oh if only they knew where his 60% was going.. funding multiple businesses across the world in exchange for keeping a careful eye. Making him quite the celebrity

💋look darling! He's on the news-! ...oh right you're not here.. one evening, while working in his office, a new secretary comes in to introduce themselves. They look just like you! He could only stare in shock.

"my love..? Is that you!?"

"..who?"

💋turns out it was just a doppelganger. But with enough time he'd delude himself into thinking it was you. Courting them with the same flowers, chocolates and jewelry he'd given you. It worked like a charm! Now you were back In their arms again. They felt whole..

💋he married your lookalike a year later, the poor fool being too naive and oblivious to think. He was happy for awhile.. or until one of his P.I's came in to show him they found you. His reality started to break.

💋no.. how could he do this to you. Replacing you with some cheap street whore. That night, when they went to bed, he gave them a cup of water and smiled sweetly. Watching as their face went red and they started to cough for air after gulping it down. Clawing at the sheets and staring at him with wide fearful eyes. Begging him to help them

"...slut."

💋 burrying the body in his backyard, he paid people with underground connections to cover for him while he was away. Claiming they suddenly vanished, having run away with a small fortune. How idiotic are people, to actually believe him..

💋kameron disguised himself and went straight for the country you decided to flee too. 5 years apart from you.. he had no idea how he managed to live so long without his beloved, but it was all worth it. Because now you'll be back where you belong. In his arms.

💋you were busy working at your job, running a small business was no joke but atleast the people in the area were friendly. So you didn't notice the suited figure Infront of your cash register

"thank you, please come again-"

💋you froze, looking up at the terrifyingly familiar face. He stared back at you with only glee and love

"hello my darling~ you've been on a naughty streak for a while Haven't you? That's okay, I'll just set you straight when we go back home."

💋big burly men all blocked you from escaping by guarding the doors. Dragging all the other customers out so you both could have your moment. Now you could never leaver leave him. Ever.

[auteurdelabre]

Please, Mr. Miller? Sequel part 3 - DBF!Joel x f!Reader

As I type this, the winner of the "What story should I post next?" poll is this one by a landslide, which is lucky because I can't get these two horny idiots outta my head.

summary: After fucking Joel Miller in a bathroom during dinner with your BF and best friend Sarah last night he suggests you two meet to talk things out before you leave for Ibiza. . . But talking isn't all you do.

Part 3 of this sequel of PWP with a lil' plot thrown in. Suspend your disbelief y'all.

words: 7.6k

rating: 18+

warnings: Dirty Talk, Daddy Kink, Kissing, Exhibitionism, Cuckhold, oral (F and M receiving), Infidelity, Caught in the Act, Angst, Age Gap, Possessiveness,

a/n: I write some depraved shit, but I think this might take the cake. You've been warned.

masterlist here

[2:45pm] HIM💜 : We gotta talk

[2:48pm] I'm leaving for Ibiza at five. I'm packing. 

[2:448pm] HIM💜: Sarah is with Charlie. She told me they're gonna spend the night in town.  Some anniversary thing.

[2:49pm] K

[2:50pm] HIM💜: So maybe I could come over and we could talk about everything?

[2:55pm] I don't know Joel

[2:55pm] HIM💜: No funny business. I think we just need to get things out in the open 

[2:57pm] HIM💜: Please

[2:59pm] Ok.

///

Joel arrives an hour later with two coffees and a sheepish expression on his handsome face. The dorms are mostly empty thanks to spring break, so no one sees the man coming into your room. You step back, letting him enter as you take the coffee from him with a soft thanks. He’s wearing a soft grey t-shirt under a green plaid flannel, his dark jeans straining over his thighs.

You take a sip of the coffee, trying to fight the affection that swims in your chest when you realize he knows exactly how you take it.

"Didn't really get a good look at this place yesterday," Joel says as he walks the perimeter of the small space trying to work up the courage to broach the topic you both want to dance around. "S'cozy."

Joel looks at your bed and you see something pass behind his eyes; a thought, a feeling, you're not quite sure. You wiser what he thinks of your pale pink sheets and fluffy pillows. If he notices the books that are strewn over your nightstand. 

"I'm reading this one right now," he mutters, pointing to Bloom Meridian sitting atop the pile. "S' good."

"I'm enjoying it,” you offer stiffly. You don’t know how to feel about him right now. He looks and smells so damn good, but at the same time all you can think of is how he ignored you until last night. How he stopped responding to your texts until he wanted something. You put the coffee cup on your dresser, feeling nervous.

“Joel you didn’t come here to talk books.”

Joel blinks a moment before he nods awkwardly, draining what remains of his coffee before dropping it in the garbage can. He inhales slowly, like a balloon being filled and then he fixes you with a stern look.

"I just wanted to come over to say that this is getting out of control," Joel says quietly. 

No shit. 

You manage to get out a sharp laugh of derision. "I'm not the one who followed me into a bathroom, Joel." 

Joel holds his hands up in defense. "Not saying it's you. It's me too. More me than anything and I'm sorry for it."

Sorry for it.

Regret.

It’s all there etched in the crinkles of his wary eyes as he stares at you. No, he’s staring at your ear, not able to look directly into your eyes. For some reason this makes you furious and heartbroken all in one stroke. Your arms cross in front of your chest, holding you and your emotions at bay.

"I wish you were sorry for calling me when you were drunk," you shoot back finding no reason not to lay into him. "And for fingering me at a table surrounded by everyone including my fucking boyfriend."

Joel's cheeks flush and he winces. You see the way his shoulders slump and his head tilts to look at the ground in shame.

"I’m real sorry for that too. That was a horrible fucking thing to do."

And yet it’s not that which hurts the most. It’s what he said that night of the phone call. The sentence that’s been running around in your mind for the last few weeks. The thing that keeps you up when you should be asleep.  

"I really wish you'd apologize for telling me I was gonna ruin your life."

Joel’s head jerks up. "Huh? When did I do that?"

"The drunk phone call."

"Fuck," Joel's hand drags down his face. "I don't even remember that. But I mean..."

He trails off and with every beat of silence you feel your ire grow. Is he actually trying to blame everything on you? You stride over to him, gratified when he takes a nervous step backwards into Sarah’s dresser.  

"You're saying I ruined your life?" Anger courses through you now, red hot and piping. You shove his muscled shoulders brutally and he doesn't move. "You're saying you didn't ruin mine? You think you don't haunt my fucking dreams?"

Each word is punctuated with an attempted punch against Joel's chest that he deflects gently by taking your wrists in his hands, holding you, tears in both of your eyes.

"You think I haven't thought about you every fucking day since Christmas?" You say biting back sobs. 

"You're with that boy aren't you?" Joel hisses back, the grip on your wrists tightening. "Don't think you're too lonely."

"And you're with Tess!"

"Not for long!' Joel roars at you, his voice a rumble from his chest. Almost immediately you see his eyes shut, his face screwing up as if he’s just been stabbed. You realize he hadn’t meant to share this information with you. 

Now it’s your turn to take a step backwards, your wrists still caught in his hold. His words settle over you both, leaving you with wide eyes as Joel's jaw tics. 

"W-what?"

Joel drops your wrists and lowers himself to sit on the edge of your bed, his breath coming out in a long sigh.

"S'why she's not here this week," Joel tells you, head in his hands, elbows balanced on his thighs. "We've been arguin' a lot, practically since we got married, but lately its been worse. She suggested this week be good for time apart. To clear our heads."

You blink quickly before coming to sit next to him, your hands folding over your lap. There’s a rocking sensation in your stomach, a mixture between profound joy and extreme compassion. You think of Tess and Joel as people separate from you, a husband and wife who have found themselves in a terrible position.

"I'm sorry, Joel."

"No you're not."

"Don't tell me how I feel," you shoot back irritated. "I am sorry for you and for Tess. Divorce is hard. I'm sorry for Sarah."

"Sarah barely knew Tess," Joel shrugs. "Neither of them really made much effort. Not that I blame 'em. Sarah's a grown woman, she doesn't need a mom."

"But you love her," you reason in a small voice.

"I did- do," Joel self corrects. He doesn't look at you; his head is still in his hands. His thumbs rub small circles into his temple. You can feel the tension that remains.

"But it's not just that, is it?" 

He straightens, eyes moving to your face before fleeing to the rest of the room. He picks apart the dents in the wall from when you and Sarah had a dance party after exams. The papers on your desk that are scribbled on. The soft lace that trim the pillows on your bed. From where you sit it all looks so immature. The longer he looks the more he shakes his head. 

"It's just ... I'm some fucking cliché," Joel mutters ruefully. "Old guy fucking some gorgeous young thing until she gets bored." 

"Bored?" 

"You think I'm dumb?" Joel snaps and for once he intimidates you with the glare he shoots your way. "If I were just some guy on the street you'd never have looked twice. But I'm married and your friend's dad and you thought you'd have a fun little thrill."

The air is knocked from your lungs. 

"You think I'm doing this because I get off on you being married?" You ask, crestfallen. 

Joel fixes you with a withering gaze that makes you want to shrink back into the bed sheets. 

"You fucked me in my bed saying you could keep a secret, sucked my wedding ring off my finger, told me to hold you down with my left hand, when I fucked you in my truck," Joel starts to list off the various moments of indiscretion. "What am I supposed to think about that?"

Your eyes fall to your fingers tangled in your lap. 

"I liked the power of making you want me," you confess quietly. "That you shouldn't want me but you did. That you were choosing me."

"It turned you on that it was wrong."

Joel's voice is full of so much disgust that it infuriates you.

"It turned you on too! The whole forbidden thing, I know it did. You don’t get to put this all on me! You’re the one that chose to fuck my mouth with your wife out the window. You liked sneaking around, Joel." 

"Yeah and look at us now!" 

"Yeah, look at us now," you scoff. Joel looks like he wants to jump out the window or punch something. He bites the inside of his cheek, unable to look at you when he speaks next.

"It was nothing but a thrill for you."

“That’s not true.”

“You wanted to fuck a married guy,” Joel insists with a disgusted scoff. “I was just the first one stupid enough to do it.”

“So fucking me was stupid?”

“No,” Joel insists and you see the panic there in the dark of his eyes. “It was… I’m the older one, I never shoulda let it go this far.”

“I’m an adult, Joel,” you say rolling your eyes. “Neither of us is clean here. We both did it and we both liked it. And yeah, I can admit it started as a married man thing, but that's not how it ended. Not for me."

Joel’s barely breathing as he rubs at the back of his neck anxiously. He keeps rolling his tongue to the side of his cheek, deep in thought as he paces back and forth in front of you.

"Good sex-"

"It's not just the sex," you cut in, breath trembling with the sudden honesty. "Those times at Christmas when you and I talked? The snowflake? When you look at me you see something. The same something I see in you."

Joel's eyes have softened, and he comes back to sit next to you on the bed. His large frame causes the mattress to creak. It's funny he can look so fierce in that body of his, but when you see his eyes you can see inside and you know there's nothing but sweet gentle kindness that draws you in. 

"What do you see?"

"I don't know exactly," you shrug, overwhelmed by the emotion. "Something powerful. Something that draws us together over and over. Something that when I’m in your arms makes the rest of the world go quiet."

Joel grows still and his brows knit together. He twists slightly, his knee bumping into yours. His voice is thoughtful and measured when he finally speaks to you, squinting. 

"I'm supposed to believe you actually want me? You? Beautiful, intelligent young woman wants an old man like me?"

"You're not old," you insist with a frown. "Mature yeah, but not old."

"Old enough to be your da-" Joel catches himself, flushing pink at the tips of his ears. "Old enough to be your father."

"You had Sarah real young," you say with amusement. "My dad's got at least fifteen years on you."

Joel gives a wry smirk but you can see the discomfort in his features. 

"Joel have you seen yourself?" You say with confusion clear in your expression. "Do you not see how women look at you? The waitress last night nearly dropped the pitcher of sangria on my lap because she was staring at you."

"C'mon now," Joel says shyly glancing away from you. You can tell he's not used to this kind of praise, this kind of appreciation and it hurts to know that.

"It's true," you insist, wishing you could cover his face in kisses. "The first time I saw you in the airport I was shocked at how hot you were."

"Enough," Joel is embarrassedly looking away now, tilting slightly from your searching gaze. 

"Your arms in that t-shirt," you continue, voice growing dreamy. "Your shoulders when you were carrying stuff to your truck."

Your closer now, body angling towards his and pupils blown wide.

"Don't," Joel warns you huskily, tilting slightly back from you. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you want me to fuck you," Joel murmurs.

"Maybe I do."

"Well that's the problem ain't it?" Joel huffs, forcing himself to a stand again. You don’t miss the way he moves slightly hunched over, trying to hide his burgeoning erection. "We can't keep goin' on like this. It's gotta stop. But we both gotta be in agreement. We gotta help each other."

"How?"

"If one of us starts up the other ones gotta stop it," Joel insists. "We gotta be strong for each other."

"But what if I don't want to be strong?" You ask him with genuine feeling. "What if I wanted to keep seeing you? Not just for sex?"

"You'll get bored."

"I won't."

“We barely know one another,” Joel says. “You might hate me the more you get to know me.”

“Not possible.”

All you can focus on the anguish in Joel's face. You want to soothe the concern from his brow, to kiss his full mouth into submission. 

"I should go," Joel says and you watch his eyes slide over your face. You feel desperation tingling through your body. 

"So what can we do?" you ask, noting the way Joel's gaze snaps to you as your voice grows husky around the edges. 

"Whadda ya mean," Joel asks nervously. 

"Where's the line?" You ask innocently. "Can I hug you goodbye, for example?"

Joel's face relaxes, he nods. "Yeah, course."

"Okay good," you say breathily. "Kiss?"

"Not on the mouth."

"Jesus," you roll your eyes. 

"We can't," Joel pleads with his eyes. "I can't control myself. Please, we just need to do it this way. Go cold turkey."

Joel swallows and you know you don't want to force him to do anything. If Joel wants you like you want him it shouldn't feel like persuasion. It should be easy. 

“Okay.”

You stand and slowly make your way over to him. He holds his arms open, urging you into a tight hug. Your arms go around his waist, your cheek tilting against his chest.

"Well, thanks for seein' me and listenin' to my side of things,” he murmurs against your forehead. You feel tears welling up at the corners of your eyes.

"Anytime Mister Miller."

And just as you begin to accept that perhaps this really is the end, you feel Joel's cock growing hard against your stomach and everything unravels. You press yourself more tightly against him, shifting against him as his fingers dig into your back. 

"What're you doin'?" Joel asks in a voice that sounds thick. But his hips are already starting to roll against you.

"Just saying goodbye," you say as if oblivious to his cock hardening further against your belly. Your face is buried in his t-shirt, inhaling deeply the scent of his cologne, his deodorant, the soap from his shower. Everything that makes him Joel.

"Shouldn't-"

"You said hugs were okay," you purr, nuzzling against his sternum. You hold in a smile when he shivers and grips you tighter to him. His hands slide down to cup your ass, kneading the flesh there under your jeans and pulling you tighter against his pelvis. 

"Should stop," he tells you in a voice made of velvet over iron. He says this even as he grips your ass and forces his denim-clad cock between your legs the best he can. He rubs there, rutting against you as your arms move to encircle his neck.

Your mouth sponges against his jaw and Joel does nothing to stop you. He even angles his neck so it's easier for you to begin nibbling gently along his muscled tendons that run the length of it as he continues to grind against you. 

"Feels good," he murmurs dreamily. 

"Yeah?" You whisper huskily. Your hand moves from Joel's back to slide down to the swell of his ass through his jeans. "Gonna let me keep making you feel good?"

His hips tilt into your palm, inhaling through his nose when you start to grind back against him. 

"Yes."

"Aren't you gonna stop me?" You huff against his mouth. 

"No."

"Cuz you want this just as much as I do?"

"Yes," Joel's mouth crashes against yours. "Fuck yes, I do."

He kisses you fiercely, holding you so tightly to him you’re almost breathless. You make small whining noises, hands gripping against him, begging him brokenly to please fuck you.

"Here in your bed?" Joel says huskily, lips quirking into an oily smirk. "So you can come all over your pretty pink sheets?"

"Yes," you breathe, lips parting as his mouth finds yours. 

He wastes no time divesting you both of your clothing, grinning at you when you lay back on your bed, arms above your head and arch in anticipation. You’re exposed to him in every way and you love it.  

He stands next to the bed, hair ruffled from when he's taken his t-shirt off.

“You really want this?”

“Yes, Joel. I really do.”

He lets a palm slide from your kneecap upwards. You arch, ready for his hands and mouth and cock and whatever else he'll give you. 

"Lemme just look at you a moment," he says, his warm eyes running the length of your naked body. The head of his cock weeps the longer his eyes linger. "Goddam you are a beautiful thing."

You feel a heat rise to your cheeks, unable to look him in the face. Instead your eyes fixate on his cock, thick and beautiful. You curve up onto your knees, crawling to the edge of the bed with a playful look as Joel stares at you from under half-lowered lids. 

"Please, Mister Miller?" you say nuzzling his thigh with your cheek.

"You wanna taste?" He croons, palm on your cheek as you nod up at him. "Go on, baby."

You lick his reddened tip and you taste him salty and warm on your tongue, eyelids flickering as you begin to suck. Joel's fingers wind in your hair, 

"Fuck I missed this," Joel groans from where he stands beside the bed. "Missed you."

You hum around his cock in agreement, palms rubbing along his belly in comfort. He missed you like you missed him. He moves slowly, his cock dragging out to circle your lips before he pushes back in, making you moan around his shaft.

"Not gonna last long if you keep goin'," he rasps. "And I wanna last for you."

It's your only night until how long? Graduation maybe, you think. But who knows if you'll be able to steal away like this again? In a few short hours you leave for Ibiza with your boyfriend. He’ll be on a plane ride home.

Joel pulls you off of him before his mouth descends, nipping your bottom lip before his mouth seals over yours.

You pull his naked body down against you into the bed, feeling his knees on either side of your hips as he kisses you. His hands are warm and large and they swim over your skin, taking time to savor your flesh as he licks into your mouth. You feel his cock bob against your belly, weeping. You break off to look at it with anticipation.

"Look at what you do to me," Joel murmurs.  “Cock never gets like this with anyone else.”

“I want it, Joel.”

"Get on your hands and knees."

You do, back arching as you glance back at him. He's panting, his large eyes fixed on you. A feeling like love overtakes you, making you break his gaze as you turn your head around, dropping it forward as he slides into your welcoming cunt. The stretch is perfect, leaving you full and warm and... His. You feel like his. 

"How do you always feel so fucking perfect?" he groans out from behind you as he starts to thrust. 

"It's you who's perfect," you moan back, dropping to your forearms as Joel begins to pound into you. "Never felt so full."

"Never?" Joel grinds out, slapping your ass playfully. "What about Connor?"

"Nothing to me," you answer firmly, not bothering to correct the name. "S'only because I couldn't stop thinking about you." 

Joel's hips slow a moment, long enough for you to glance over your shoulder at him. He's shooting you an inscrutable look, his mouth thinned. 

"I don't want you waiting for me," he says slowly. “You deserve the world. You deserve a man who can treat you right, who can be with you.”

"I know, I'm not," you lie. 

"Alright then," Joel nods and needing to reclaim the frenzy from before he pushes into you with a groan. "Now be good and show me how much you missed my cock." 

///

Conrad has always had things come easy to him. Friends, Grades, female attention. And when things didn't come easy he always had money. Money solves a lot of issues. 

Today he pops his earbuds in and starts blasting Kanye before shooting you off a quick text as he walks towards your place on campus. His bags are already in the car, ready for a romantic get away with his girl.

[4:55pm] Hey babe u ready?

A text comes through as soon as he sends that one to you. 

I miss your cock bb. [Foryou.jpg]

Attached is a very obscene photos of Pam giving a coquettish look to the camera, mouth open and tongue out suggestively.

Pam is the snowbunny from Vermont with the fake tits and great ass. Conrad rolls his eyes, deleting the text and officially blocking the number. He hasn't replied to her since Vermont and she's clearly not getting the message. 

He only told you about the Pam because he knew you'd suspected when that dumb bitch insisted on posting a photo of them on Instagram. 

He didn't tell you that after she sucked his cock he fucked her in front of the fireplace in her sprawling chalet. He didn't tell you that she got needy and clingy in a way you'd never been and that it made him realize letting you go had been the biggest mistake of his life. 

[4:59pm] I'm heading your way. Make sure you don’t forget your bikini

You're the only one he told about cheating on the test. The only one he can tell about a lot of stuff. His parents love you. It's a good match. You're as close to love as he's every experienced. 

He's going to propose in Ibiza because it's been five years and his parents are starting to pressure him. You come from a good family, you're smart and beautiful. 

Sex with you lately is... Okay. He finds you distracted as of late. And when you're not distant you're more dominant, more in control and he doesn't love it. He likes to be the one in control. 

So today when he jogs up the steps of your dorm whistling softly to himself in tune with the music his mind is distracted. He's wondering if the ring he got you is your taste and where a good spot would be to propose. You both have keys to each other's dorm rooms and when he unlocks and pushes open the door he expects it to be empty with your suitcase on the bed. 

His eyes are on his phone with the music blasting as he enters. He closes the door behind him before he finally looks up, almost dropping his phone in the process. You're facing the door on your bed on all fours, the sheets a tangle, the scent of sex in the air. 

Conrad can only stare in fixated horror, seeing how fucked out your expression is. Mouth hung open, eyes shut, brows furrowed as you rest on your hands and knees. Your fingers clutch at the blankets holding on for dear life as obscene slapping noises fill the room. 

Your back is arched violently, body undulating and slick with sweat. Your hair is damp at the temples. It's obvious the two of you have been at this for some time. Your tits swing with every thrust, your body jerking with the sharp snap of the man's hips behind you. 

"Faster," you cry out hoarsely, hand going to grab one of the hands on your hips. "Please! I'm so close!"

Watching as you thrust yourself backwards to take this man's cock deeper makes Conrad's stomach twist. Your eyes are rolling back as you whimper out babbling cries of pleasure.

It's now that Conrad's attention shifts to the golden skin of the figure behind you. The sight of some muscular, broad shouldered man fucking into you from behind takes Conrad's breath from him.

Conrad sees the way this man holds your hips possessively in his broad hands, fingertips dimpling the flesh as you grind back against him. He's transfixed at the sight of his girlfriend who is usually so focused during sex is now so loose, so submissive to the looming figure that fucks into her from behind.  

His phone drops from his trembling hands, thudding to the carpet and drawing your attention. Your eyes snap open and a look of shock crosses your features. 

"Oh ff-fuck," you groan out at the sight of him, but you don't slow your movements. If anything you look more turned on, your hips starting to roll. 

"That's my girl," the rumbled twang sounds out from against your shoulder. "Yeah just like that... Oh, fuck just like that my good girl. Make those pretty sounds for me."

Somewhere in all of this, righteous indignation rises to the surface of Conrad's being.

 That someone would touch what belongs to him. 

///

Joel's head is dropped between your shoulder blades, oblivious to the young man standing at the end of the room. His shoulders are rolling as he pushes and pulls your pliant body along his cock murmuring how good you feel. 

Conrad sputters, watching helplessly as a broad, faceless man with a back that glistens with sweat continues to fuck into his girlfriend.

"Who the fuck is this?" 

Joel must have heard Conrad this time because his head jerks up, eyes fixed on the handsome young man. Conrad sees the blown out pupils of the older man, the damp curl over his forehead, the way his full lips curve into a sadistic grin.

"I'm her Daddy," Joel rasps, smirking further as Conrad's face goes puce. You give a low moan of pleasure at how wrecked Joel’s voice sounds. 

Joel tilts forward, hand wrapped around your neck to gently tilt your face up as he keeps ramming into you from behind. "Tell him, baby."

Your head drops forward shyly but you can't stop the rhythmic pounding of Joel against your ass. You know you should feel guilty and shamed, but all you feel right now is so impossibly turned on. Turned on that Joel is fucking you in your bed. Turned on that he's not stopping even when he's caught. Turned on that Conrad is seeing it happen. 

"He's... He's my Daddy," you finally say, slack-jawed as the pleasure of Joel's body builds within you. "Oh fuck.. fuck… ‘n I'm his g-good girl."

"Yeah you are," Joel coos. "So good."

Joel gives a feral grin in Conrad’s direction before tugging you back towards him. The sound of flesh on flesh fills the room as Conrad stands as if frozen. All of a sudden a look of disgust crosses your boyfriend’s features as he recognizes Joel from dinner the night before.

"Does it turn you on knowing he's watching you get fucked?" Joel rasps in your ear. "Makin’ sure he knows you’re all mine right now?"

You can't answer. Your forehead simply drops down to rest on the coverlet as Joel jerks his hips into you. He rights himself into a kneeled position, pulling you by the hips back along his length, watching with delight as your ass jiggles hypnotically with every thrust.

"C'mon baby," Joel pants down at you. "Show this boy who owns your pussy."

"Yes, Mister Miller," you insist, ass in the air as Joel shakes you with every thrust. 

"You don't need some pathetic boy when you've got a man's cock," Joel grunts out, each word punctuated by a violent thrust that has you moaning for more. "Just need me don't you?"

"Yes," you cry, eyes squeezing shut. "Feels so good!"

You feel the blinding shine of pleasure being replaced with honeyed release and you keen against him. Arousal soaks him, dripping down his thighs as Joel marvels, his hips not slowing as he chases his own climax.

"She comes so goddam easy," Joel says in awe. His dark eyes dart to a frozen Conrad. "You fucked up lettin’ her go, little boy. Even for a week."

That seems to wake Conrad from whatever stupor he was stuck in. He jerks to life, stepping closer to the bed, his hands in fists. Hands you know have never seen a day’s actual work in their life.

"Get away from her," Conrad says, eyes flashing but voice dim. "You’re a fucking pervert."

"He's n-not," you cry out, unable to focus because Joel doesn't stop what he's doing, he simply pushes you harder in the mattress, fucking deeper. 

"You take another step closer and when I'm done fucking your girlfriend here I'll kick your ass," Joel says, jaw squared. 

The thought of a fight erupting makes your clit pulse, mewling when Joel's fingers find it, pinching and rubbing at it with his middle and ring finger. 

"She make noises like that for you?" Joel challenges. Conrad says nothing in reply, only swallowing hard as his face grows blotchy. 

"Nah she doesn’t,” Joel decides. “That’s cuz you didn't know how to fuck her right.”

Now Joel jackhammers into you as his fingers rub your clit, spreading your arousal and causing a trembling to begin in your thighs. He pins your wrists under his hands, making you keen, ass bouncing off his hips.

“My good girl deserves to get fucked right," Joel tells him, voice growing breathless. "Pussy this perfect? And oh… I can feel it squeezin’ me now. She's gonna give me another one aren't you baby?"

"Uh huh."

"Anyone else make you come like this?"

"No," you say quickly, moans escaping every time he thrusts. "Only you."

Conrad makes a choking sound as you come again, hard and crying out raggedly. Lustful gibberish with a few daddy yes’s thrown in for good measure. You jerk violently and then you sag into the bed, spent, face and body soaked with sweat. You pant heavily before you feel Joel’s mouth on your cheek.

“Did so good for me, baby. So fuckin’ good.”

He turns now, raising his head and addressing a still stunned Conrad who stands horrified at the intimacy being displayed. Somehow seeing Joel draped over you murmuring sweet nothings in your ear as you smile is so much worse than him fucking you.

“You ain’t been fucking her right,” Joel says sharply.

“She isn’t your girl,” Conrad insists angrily, his perfectly teeth clashing together. “She’s my fucking girlfriend.”

“Not for long,” Joel warns. “Not if you can’t make her feel better than me.”

You’re slowly coming out of your post-orgasm high, listening passively to the conversation before you realize something is happening. Joel is scooping you gently, tilting you back so that your spine is on the mattress, your thighs spread. You give a sleepy look up at Joel’s handsome face gazing down at you.

“Joel?”

"I'm not gonna be here after this week," Joel murmurs in your ear, pressing another kiss to your cheekbone. "I need to make sure you're bein’ taken care of."

You feel your eyes swim with a mixture of emotion. Devastation that Joel is leaving soon, gratitude that he wants to know you’re being taken care of even if it means it won’t be by him. He presses a firm kiss to your mouth.

“You ready, beautiful girl?”

“Mhmm.”

“Alright then,” Joel smiles softly at you before turning a sharp eye on Conrad. Your boyfriend is already hard at the sight of you there on the bed, spread for him, cunt glistening. Joel jerks his head in your direction.

“You show me you can make her come, boy.”

Conrad feels his anger overtaking him at the challenge. This old fuck with the bad haircut thinks that he can take you from him? It isn’t even about you anymore; it’s about Conrad’s pride. And he’s got more than the typical male.

Joel moves from the bed, a gentlemanly gesture. He goes to stand a few paces back, watching with shark-like intensity at you spread on the bed for another man. You look at him through your half-lidded eyes, missing the warmth of his body already.

"I'll make her come like you wouldn't believe old man," Conrad sneers. He doesn't know why but he feels this need to outperform Joel in this. Still dressed in his slacks and dress shirt he drops to his knees in front of you at the edge of the bed, sliding his hands up your thighs and urging them to part further for him. You allow this passively, your eyes still on Joel’s beautiful naked body only steps away.

Conrad dives into your pussy, giving it sloppy kisses as you arch into his mouth. Conrad is perfectly adept at oral sex, it's just you don't want him. You want the man when the warm eyes that are stuck on your face. 

But your body enjoys the sensation of a tongue along your seam, fingers gently thrusting as he tastes you. Joel stands to the side, his cock still hard and weeping. You wish it was in your mouth.

Conrad flicks at your clit with his tongue, drawing a shuddering gasp from you. One that Joel clearly wasn’t anticipating judging by the raise of his brows. Your head tilts back into the pillow and you let the pleasure flood your senses. You can hear Conrad groaning between your thighs, your fingers and toes curling into the mattress as the pleasure builds. 

"He making you feel good, baby?" Joel asks his voice tense. His hands are in loose fists at his sides. Even with your eyes closed you can feel him staring at your face. Conrad isn’t even on his radar.

"Mhmm," you answer languidly, hissing slightly when Conrad begins to suck your clit into his mouth. “So good.”

"Better than me?"

Your eyes dart over to Joel and you can see that he regrets it the minute it escapes from him in the flush of his cheeks. An inner thought that snuck its way out between his full lips. Shame that he's shown his insecurity in this room as a younger man desperately sucks and licks your cunt. Humiliation that Joel needs to be the one who makes you feel the best.

Your desire for Joel is overflowing at this point, making your arms reach for him without thought even as Conrad works his mouth against your cunt. 

"Want you to do it," you murmur.

Joel's eyes immediately brighten but he tries to subdue his glee.  He rocks forth on his heels before stopping himself, giving a quick glance at Conrad between your thighs.

"Nah, honey,” he says shaking his head. "You enjoy yourself. I like seeing my girl feel good."

His girl.

The amount of possessiveness Joel has shown over you tonight is dizzying. It hits you everywhere – your chest, between your legs, your heart. It makes your desire for him capitulate further.

Conrad is so busy between your legs he doesn't even hear the conversation going on between the two of you. He wears your thighs like earrings, his tongue swirling against your clit. He’s good at this, but nowhere near as good as Joel.

"Joel," you croak reaching for him again. 

"What is it, baby?"

"It needs to be you," you whimper, hand still outstretched. "Please.”

Joel wastes no time in crossing back over to the bed where he shoves Conrad out of the way roughly with his foot. Conrad tumbles over and can only look on helplessly as Joel spreads your legs over his shoulders and you arch into his mouth. Its only seconds of his masterful touch before you’re shattering around him.

"Mhmm," Joel hums, suckling your clit. "So goddam easy."

"Daddy," you groan as you arch up off the bed. Joel makes a growling noise from between your thighs, tongue penetrating you, lapping up your release as you crest again and again for him, nearly sobbing with the pleasure that runs the length of your body.  

Conrad is livid, his normally handsome face contorted into a barely suppressed rage. If he was the type of man to fight you have no doubt he and Joel would be in the middle of a wrestling match. Finally you give one last keen and Joel crawls the length of your body, pressing shiny kisses of arousal all over your body like a debauched trail along your skin. He slides up behind you, wrapping you in his arms as you nuzzle up against him.

“Go to Ibiza, Conrad,” you tell your boyfriend. “Have fun. We’re done.”

“Honey-“ Joel starts, concern written all over his face. But Conrad is irate, his body twitching almost violently.

“Wait, you’re picking this old fuck over me?” Conrad breathes as if he can’t believe what’s happening. His hair is mussed from his time between your thighs and his face is still slick with your arousal. “Some broke carpenter?”

“Yes,” you say without hesitation. “I pick Joel. I’ll always pick Joel.”

You feel Joel’s hand come to squeeze your shoulder gently. You don’t dare look at him for fear that you might start crying.

“And he’s not an old, broke carpenter,” you tell Conrad. “He’s sweet and he’s smart and he’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”

That hits Conrad where it hurts. His eyes dart between you and Joel looking dreamily at one another.

"You're a fucking whore," Conrad seethes.

“Watch it,” Joel warns, going from sweet to serious within a heartbeat. You see the narrowing of his eyes and the squaring of his jaw. It shouldn’t make you wet to see him like this but it does.

"Can't wait to tell Sarah what her best friend and dad are getting up to,” Conrad jeers. “You think she’ll enjoy that? Knowing her best friend is fucking her married father?"

Joel seems to break from his cloud of lust at the sudden mention of his daughter. As if only now he's realizing how terrible things could go. He jerks back from you with terror in his features. He looks to you, confused when you just laugh at Conrad. You laugh so loud and so long that both men just stare at you, transfixed.

Finally you sit up, glorious in your unabashed nakedness.  

"Conrad, you tell anyone and I'll go right to the provost and tell him that you cheated that test," you say panting from the previous exertion and the laughter. "I'll tell him how you paid that kid to take your MCAT. Then I'll call your parents parents and tell them about it. And then I'll tell the local newspaper because my parents have friends in high places too, Conrad. I’ll ruin your fucking life if I hear one whisper about me and Joel. A whisper, Conrad."

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

Conrad knows he's fucked. His entire future would be over. His medical school acceptance, his future as the next doctor in his family, the expectations of generations all coming to a halt with him.  His lips are white and twisted with rage as he stares at your smirking face. You reach between you and Joel’s body to grab Joel’s hard cock in your hand, giving Conrad a deadly stare as you begin to jerk him off.

"Now leave so I can ride my Daddy’s cock.”

You begin to stroke Joel, your eyes on his handsome face as he stares at you in wonder. His cock twitches in your slick grip, his hips jutting forth into your palm as if he’s hypnotized. He looks like he’s amazed by you.    

“Wanna make you come, Mister Miller,” you purr at Joel, turning your back to Conrad and climbing onto Joel’s lap.

“Gonna make me feel good, baby?” Joel asks even though he already knows the answer.  

Conrad says nothing more but he does toss the key to your room down angrily to the floor before slamming the door behind him. The second the door is closed Joel’s smile spreads across his face and he slips you onto your back beneath him, pinning you.

"Fucking magnificent," he tells you with a bruising kiss to your swollen lips. “How… Was that the plan the whole time?”

“No,” you laugh shakily. “I can’t… I can’t believe I did that, actually.”

Joel’s smile stretches before snapping back like a rubber band. You watch in confusion as he suddenly sobers, his cock sliding from you as he pulls back, rolling from you and onto his back next to you on the bed. You twist to look at him, tilting onto your side with your hand going to his sternum.

“Are you okay?”

“I can’t believe we did that,” he says in an awed voice. “I… I didn’t even think about the consequences. I fucked you in front of that boy without a thought about my marriage, about Sarah...”

“I know,” you nod, face flaming. You still can’t believe you did that either. Joel’s dark eyes are on your face as he presses his lips together anxiously.

“We’re trouble when we’re together.”

Trouble. That doesn’t feel like the right word. Powerful does. You feel powerful with Joel. You feel safe with Joel. Trouble doesn’t factor into it. But perhaps reckless does.

But there’s something else, something sweet and safe and hidden behind your rib cage. A feeling for Joel that goes beyond lust.

“You broke things off with that boy,” Joel says sharply, as if he’s just realizing what’s gone on in the last hour. “You had a future with that boy.”

“I didn’t,” you say shaking your head. “Conrad wasn’t right for me.”

“He’s your age, he’s rich, he loves you.”

“He’s my age, his parents are rich and he loves himself,” you correct with a soft laugh. “I thought I wanted Conrad for the longest time but, you showed me what’s out there. And I want it. Even if it’s not with you Joel, I want more.”

Joel survey’s the tremble in your chin, the emotion in your eyes as you blink back tears.

“I wish…” you trail off, so many thoughts popping into your head at once.

You wish Joel was younger or that you were older. You wish he wasn’t Sarah’s dad. You wish that he wasn’t married. But not once do you wish you’d never met him. Not once do you wish for anyone else.

Joel strokes along your arm gently with his fingertips, looking deep in thought before speaking suddenly.

"Sarah thinks you're with Conrad in Ibiza this week right?"

"Yeah." 

"So come stay with me."

"What?"

"I'll extend my stay at the hotel for a few days," Joel suggests almost shyly. “We give ourselves this week together. Maybe we can get whatever this is out of our system and then we part as friends. It’s the only solution I can think of.”

An entire week with Joel where you don’t have to sneak around? Sleeping with him, eating with him, just being with him? The very thought has you in a tizzy, your heart pounding as you sit up in the bed.

“Are you serious?”

"Only if you want,” Joel says looking suddenly nervous, as if he’s concerned this idea is too spontaneous. “No pressure or anythin’."

You can't stop yourself from launching yourself into his arms pressing frantic kisses to his waiting mouth. His cock, still hard rasps against your belly but you ignore it in favor of a longing kiss before pulling back.

"Yes, of course I want to!"

"Well alright then," Joel says smiling shyly. "Your bag’s already packed so let’s go."

“It’s packed for Ibiza,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes as you move from his arms and off the bed. Men, honestly.

You begin to throw things into a duffel, things you’ll need for a few days at the hotel. Joel watches all of this propped on one arm, his eyes dreamily following your naked form as you hurriedly shove items into the bag. Your eyes suddenly blow wide and you drop the bag at your feet.

“I just realized you never came!” you exclaim with such earnestness that Joel laughs. It’s a rich, warm sound that has you grinning in response.

“Plenty of time for that,” he promises you.

“Well, I need a shower before we go,” you say, holding a hand out to him and urging him to a stand. “What do you say we get clean and dirty at the same time?”

Joel chuckles again, gripping the back of your thighs and hoisting you over his shoulder. He gives your bare ass a slap before he carts you off the shower where he fucks you with intensity against the slick tile, murmuring absolute filth in your ears before coming.

When you both are finally washed and dressed and your suitcase is in your hand you smile up at Joel to find him looking nervously at you. It makes you raise a brow in his direction quizzically, finding yourself melting when he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

"You’re allowed to change your mind."

"I'm not gonna change my mind," you promise him, taking his hand in yours. “I want this, Joel.”

His smile is so warm it would rival the sun.

“Me too.” 

taglist (my first time doin' em here I hope it works)

@oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @southernbe @katiexpunk @ashleyfilm @sptbear @604to647 @lovelvyxxx @joeldjarin @bluemusickid @magpiepills @mermaidgirl30 @getitoutofmymind

(LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST)

[jo-harrington]

Sales Pitch (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader has a new customer.

Warnings/Themes: Silly. Fluffy. Tiny bit of implied mutual pining. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. They're both kind of romantic and in need of some affection. Eddie is also a big loser and afraid to just ask someone out, luckily the reader is also hopeless and thinks he's kind of cute.

Note: Wrote this after posting Closing Time. After I wrote that, my brain just took me away. Because if I know anything at all, it's Shopping Mall romance (unfortunately the bad part of it, but still. Let me project and be self indulgent.)

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

"Ok, I'm going," your closing lead hustled towards you from the stockroom door, pulling her purse open for a bag check. "Did you want me to bring you anything back?"

"Nah, I'll grab some dinner after I leave. Thanks," you smiled and quickly glanced over her wallet, chewing gum, and walkman. "Have a good break."

You allowed yourself a moment of peace once she left--the store finally empty after a busy afternoon--before working on the mindless task of restocking the scrunchie wall.

Everything felt like it moved at light speed the past few months. First you had received your diploma from the local community college. Then you were offered the store manager promotion you had been working toward for years. You were in a new town--a new state--with an apartment of your own and actual neighbors; there were no pesky family members to drop by unexpectedly and pester you about your life choices like they had for your entire life.

You had a store and team of your own that you adored, through all of the ups and downs--although it had been mostly ups so far. The sparkly new StarCourt mall was a hit with the residents of Hawkins and the rest of Roane County. With the Grand Opening overlapping with the arrival of summer, the mall had been bustling with activity and people eager to shop.

After a lifetime of people pleasing tendencies, it was nice to bask in the praises of your district manager and all of the suits from corporate who had made the trek out to visit one of the youngest SMs in the company running what was quickly becoming one of the highest earning stores.

But Mall Life was still Mall Life, and with this new adventure away from everything you had ever known, it was nice to find comfort in your typical routines. Writing schedules, treating yourself to an Orange Julius on breaks, counting dollar bills crumpled from the hands of sweaty kids. Cracking jokes with your team members, listening to the gossip of whose-boyfriend-was-flirting-with-who from the one part-timer who was also a life guard at the community pool, walking around the empty mall after store hours, and piercing ears for 8 hours a day.

It was a whole lot of...nothing, sure. But you could do it for as long as you needed to. The independence was too good to give up for now. You could wait until the next big thing came into your life.

Right?

The bell rang, alerting you to your new customer, and as a reflex, you looked up and greeted.

"Welcome in, be right with you."

"Take your time, I’m just having a look around,” he responded with a shrug. You were sure he was feeling as out of place as he looked--with his band tee, flannel, and ripped black jeans--amongst the pastel jewelry and neon scrunchies.

You knew him...sort of. As much as anyone really knows anyone else who worked in a mall.

The tall, wide-eyed, and--quite frankly--cute metalhead with fluffy hair from Tape World.

He had been on duty when you barged in during opening week. Your shop radio had stopped working and you had driven home in a panic to grab your old portable stereo but you had unfortunately forgotten your tapes. He had easily navigated the crowded aisles to pluck a selection of them for you to bring back upstairs. He cracked some kind of joke, but in your rush to get back to the store, you totally ignored it. And you vaguely remember being kind of rude.

You felt really bad about it later in the day--no one deserved attitude from a shitty customer--and you had brought down a bag of cookies from the food court for him at the end of your shift as a thank-you-slash-apology. Unfortunately he had left for the day, according to the closing manager.

You had seen him around a few other times, crossing paths as you headed to the employee parking lot after hours or during breaks in the food court. You'd tried smiling or saying hi--your old store manager had taught you it was good practice to be nice to your neighbors at the mall. At first he had scowled, then eventually simply avoided you, turning his eyes away at first glimpse of you. Letting his long legs carry him faster to get further away.

You didn't know what you were hoping to gain from making amends with this guy specifically...

Actually, you did know. You wanted to make a friend.

You didn't really know anyone outside of your team and your landlord. You could just go and strike up a conversation with the staff at another store during your breaks, but given how crowded the mall was, you didn't want to be the type of person who bothered them while they were busy. You at least could say, in some capacity, that you had an excuse to start some kind of conversation with Tape World Guy.

Even if it was just to finally apologize.

The well-practiced customer service character that you had played for years was getting tiring to constantly wear in this new environment, especially after hours. You even found yourself doing it at the grocery store, hoping it would get you some sort of human interaction.

And did you forget that he was cute?

All of your old coworkers had their little mall romances that you had always been a little jealous of. Regular customers who would come in just to flirt, and then buy some random little trinket before they left. Or employees from other stores who would take an extra 5 minutes on their break so they could walk around the mall together. Sweet little notes that had been thrown through the gates for their partners to find when they came to open for the day.

Deep down you could admit that while friendship was your main goal...it would have maybe, sort of, been a little nice if Tape World Guy thought you were cute too.

God, it was such a stupid idea.

You had put all of those thoughts to rest since he seemed to want to avoid you at all costs. But here he was now, crouching in front of a tower full of jelly bracelets. This could be your chance to salvage things, even if it was just to find a friend.

You put down the box you were holding and dusted off your hands as you approached him.

"Was there something specific that you were looking for?" you began with your typical spiel. The hand that was rifling through the bracelets immediately retracted and he stood to his full height.

There was a brief deer-in-the-headlights look in his eye before it shifted into something more nonchalant.

"Just killing some time on break." He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels a bit. "I, uh...I work downstairs. At Tape World."

"I know," you nodded.

"You do?"

Ok so that explained the scowling: he just didn't remember you. You were just some random person smiling at him whenever you saw him. That was...

Embarrassing.

...a relief.

"You helped me out one time. I was in a panic and you kind of saved my ass," you explained with a laugh. You looked down slightly. "You're also still wearing your lanyard."

His hands immediately came up to grab at the lanyard around his neck with his name tag and keys. Not Tape World Guy. Eddie.

He looked like an Eddie.

"Right," he chuckled. "I keep forgetting I have this thing."

"At least you're forgetting that you're wearing it and not forgetting it at home," you offered. "That's happened to the best of us."

"Well that's a jinx if I've ever heard one, sweetheart," he grinned. It was a nice smile, one that lit up his entire face and brightened his eyes.

There was a short pause and you felt stupid just standing there staring at him.

"Well, if you need anything, I'll just be--"

"The sign in the window!" He interrupted you, voice breaking slightly. "It, uh, said free ear piercings."

"Oh, um, yeah," you nodded.

"Great, I'll do that then."

"Well actually," you elaborated as he approached your piercing station. "The whole piercing process is free, you just need to buy the earrings."

"Oh. That's fine." he settled into the chair, pulling the little teddy bear, the one that brought the kids some comfort as they were getting their piercings, onto his lap. "Any employee discounts?"

"Unfortunately not, sorry. Not for mall employees; just store employees."

“That sounds like you’re offering me a job. How tempting," he hummed.

"Uhhh--"

"But I'll have to pass," he made the bear wave its hand dismissively. "I don't have enough neon pink in my wardrobe to match the dress code."

You looked down at your own outfit for a second; yeah you looked like something out of the Seventeen Magazine Back to School issue. It was a little ridiculous but you always tried to look the part of cool mall girl.

"That's a shame; one of the unspoken rules is Dress to Impress the customer," you laughed. "Although, your hair would look great with scrunchies."

It really would. You could see it in your mind's eye. His curly mane pulled back messily, a few of the shorter pieces framing his face.

"We would meet our sales goal every day."

"I would be the number one scrunchies salesman. Hands down." His voice took on a richer quality as he sat a little taller and placed a hand across his chest. "Alas, I am a purveyor of cassettes. The best in all of Indiana."

"Really?" You laughed.

"My talents would be wasted here," Eddie concluded.

"Alright," you held your hands up. "You can't say I didn't try."

You got him set up with a clipboard and pen to fill out the piercing form as you got the station sanitized and ready. He would scribble some, then stop a few times, along with an intake of breath. You waited for him to ask whatever question he had, but he would then just ask the bear.

"Do you know the number to the plant? Yeah didn't think so."

"I don't know, do you think I should sign the liability? What if my ear falls off."

He got really quiet though once he was done filling the form out and you started marking his earlobes. He watched you with those big, wet, brown eyes and occasionally worried his bottom lip with his teeth before his tongue darted out to soothe it.

It was really distracting.

"Can I ask you something?" he broke the silence and you backed away from him slightly.

"Yeah?" He just stared at you silently and you wondered if he was just nervous. "Everything ok?"

He clutched the teddy bear and then relaxed his grip slightly.

"Broken Hearts or Gummy Bears?" he finally asked, avoiding eye contact for a moment. You frowned and opened your mouth to reply but he beat you to it. "For the earrings. I saw them over there and...I couldn't choose."

As he rambled about the pros and cons of each, you took a breath and put your hand on his shoulder.

"Are you afraid of needles?" you asked, interrupting him.

"What?"

"Needles," you repeated. "You just...seem nervous and I'm not going to blame you if you change your mind. It happens all the time."

"Well--"

"And I'm probably not supposed to say this to a customer but the piercing gun is...not the best experience." On your first anniversary as a sales associate, your old boss had taken you to get your cartilage pierced and she told you to never trust the piercing gun. "So if you don't want to do this, I won't make you."

He took a breath and then began rambling.

"It isn't that I don't want to." His voice sounded a little strained. "And I'm not afraid of needles; I have a couple of tattoos, actually. They’re not anything professional really. But I'm in a band. I'm, um, lead guitarist. Frontman most of the time but my buddy Jeff...well he's gotta work on his confidence."

For a second you wondered if Jeff wasn't the only one who needed to work on confidence. Tattoos or not, maybe he was just...afraid...

Maybe that cool exterior earlier was just...an act. You'd been there before, plenty of times. Play it cool until you could convince yourself to go through with something. Or until you chickened out.

Ok, you could work with this. You could help him get through this.

"That's pretty cool," you told him truthfully, trying to hype him up. It was cool. "The tattoos and the band."

"Really?" You nodded. "And new hardware would, uh, be really metal. If I did get it."

"Absolutely," you agreed. "You'd be a local trendsetter; all of your fans would be lining up outside so they could look like you."

"Fans," he chuckled dryly. "Right. Well, anyway, it's just...I'm on break and I only had a small window of opportunity to come up--"

"I get it."

"--and see if you wanted to hang out sometime."

Sure.

Wait.

You froze and had to collect yourself for a second as your brain broke.

Hang out? Was he asking...just to hang out or to hang out? Wait...he wanted to hang out with you?

"What?" you muttered. His eyes got really big.

"It's just that you're new in town, right?" He started. "And I thought...well shit, I thought I could show you around. Or if you wanted company sometimes at lunch, because you usually sit by yourself. And trust me, dude, I know it sucks to sit by yourself at lunch."

He knew you sat by yourself? Maybe all of those times you thought he was trying to ignore you, he was just nervous.

He laughed and looked down at the teddy bear.

"But I get it if you don't want to," he continued. "I know Stacey Andrews works here too; I don't know if she's said anything to you about me. She's a huge blabbermouth."

He winced.

"Not that...not that there's anything wrong with that. Gossiping is kind of all you can do in a small town like this."

"I get it," you said. The town you grew up in wasn't that small...but it was a tight knit community and everyone knew everything about everyone. And yeah, Stacey was kind of a blabbermouth.

"I figured," he shrugged, suddenly looking dejected. He played with the ears of the bear for a second and then stood up. "But yeah, I thought...I would at least ask."

Wait, did he think you were saying no?

“Sorry about wasting your time.”

"Hey, wait," you stopped him before he could head towards the door. "A tour of town sounds great. And company at lunch."

"You don't have to say that just to be nice," he said dismissively, trying to brush you off.

"I'm not, please believe me" you insisted with a smile. He stopped in his tracks and looked at you. "If you have some...bad boy reputation in town or whatever, I mean, yeah that's kinda hot, but that's fine. But you're up here offering friendship to someone new, so even if Stacey was gossiping about you--which she wasn't by the way--I think I'm smart enough to figure out that you're not as bad as other people think you are. Or you think that they think you are.

"And really, it doesn't matter what others think. Because what I think is that you're a sweet, considerate, kind of goofy, definitely metal, neon-lacking, guitar-playing guy who is gonna show me the best place to get pizza in town because I've just been getting it downstairs before I go home and, I've gotta say, it isn't great."

Did you say all of that in one breath? Because you were definitely a little light-headed now.

He stared at you for a while before that grin took over his face.

"You think I'm hot?" he asked.

"Uh," you frowned and thought back on your words. Maybe you blacked out a little bit too. Did you say that? "No?"

"Because you definitely said I was kind of hot."

"I--" Why didn’t your brain work? "I said...I said having a bad boy reputation was kind of hot."

"But I'm the one with the bad boy reputation," he explained. "Therefore, I am the hot one."

"I also called you goofy."

"You said a lot of things, sweetheart," he laughed. "Including pizza. Which I can guarantee that I provide the one and only comprehensive Pizza Tour of Hawkins. So. When are you free?"

When were you free?

"Fridays usually...or I close on Sundays."

"Well, wouldn't you know, I also close on Sundays."

"Great!" You grinned. "It's settled then. This Sunday after close."

"Great. I'll see you then," he bowed--bowed--and then walked out of the store.

You briefly relived the entire interaction in your brain as you went back to the piercing station to save the abandoned supplies.

Ok, so a date, but maybe not a date. At the very least, pizza with a new friend on Sunday.

God, you couldn't believe you called him hot.

The bell rang and you turned to greet your next customer only to find your new friend there again, slightly out of breath this time.

"My name's Eddie, by the way," he said and you smiled.

"I know," you giggled.

"You do?"

"It's on your name tag."

...

Next Part: Standard Operating Procedure 1.01

[angelltheninth]

Ok I cannot stop seeing MAWS Slade as a fuckboy, can you please do something with him and a fem!reader I beg! I know I'm down bad but I don't care lmao.

Honestly never thought I'd get an ask like this but since you sent it in Anon and you seem kinda desperate (in a cute way) I'll give this to you.

Pairing: Slade Wilson x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, flirting, hook-ups, sex to destress, rough sex, possessive sex, sneaking out, post-mission sex

A/N: I think Slade was always a fuckboy, we just always saw him in his older days. I really wanna know where this version of him goes though.

Fuckboy!Slade who doesn't care what time of day or night it is, when he's horny he will find someone to fuck. He has you on the top of his list of sex friends because you never ask many questions about his missions, you don't need to know the details, all you need is to make sure he feels good when he visits you.

Fuckboy!Slade who never tells you when his next mission is because it's none of your business. You learned not to ask anyways. All that's important when he gets to your place is to fuck him as fast and as hard as possible because neither of you know when his next mission will be.

Fuckboy!Slade who doesn't bother with foreplay. Or rather there's no time for it. The moment he calls you you're already getting ready to receive his cock. Of course this goes both ways and you might get your mouth on his cock at some point during the encounter but it's never in the first round of sex.

Fuckboy!Slade who has a lot of photos of the two of you in his private phone. He loves when people give him attention but only on his own terms. The moment you try to take control away from him while you're fucking is the moment you see why he's one of the most dangerous men in the business. That too has it's advantages, secretly it is your way of taking control, you know exactly how he'll react.

Fuckboy!Slade who will brag about his sexual experience to you while you're bouncing on his cock. He loves to push your buttons and what better way then with a little competition? You need to show him why you're at the top his fucklist. You need to make him come harder then anyone else can.

Fuckboy!Slade who will embrace you, if only for a few minutes a night when you're done. He uses people for pleasure yes but he can be gentle too... when the sex was good that is. He never talks about this side of him and neither do you. In the grand scheme of things a few minutes of aftercare and making sure you're okay won't change much between the two of you.

Fuckboy!Slade who fucks you like he is the only one for you every single time. When he leaves he wants you to remember his cock well. Every time you put a toy or your fingers up your pussy he wants to be sure that it's his cock you're imagining fucking you. You have no idea if he's only like this with you or not but it is something that you've noticed about him,

Fuckboy!Slade who only speaks a few words to you when he's leaving. He tells you that it was fun, he tells you what he liked, he tells you that you were sexy, but he never mentions anything related to his actual feelings or yours. To let feelings into this would be the moment his entire persona falls apart and he cannot afford that right now, not with the kinds of things he does.

[emeraldgreenbeautiesstu]

MATT X READER PLS.

Then book shopping n it’s all cute n stuff 😻😻‼️

Bernard's & Noble

(see what i did there)

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Word count: 749

Alexis speaks! : hey guys! thank you for the request (the more requests, the more stories i post 😉) i'm honestly not very proud of this one, but i've deleted it four times already and this is the best i got 💀 once again, comments and likes are greatly appreciated, it helps me know if yall like my style or if i need to change anything! pls don't steal my work, love yall!

-

"Matttt?" i whined from my spot on the floor. i was bored out of my fucking mind. Matt wanted the day to be a 'lazy day' and by that he means he wanted to scroll social media and youtube all day. that was not my idea of fun, i've always been a hands on person whether that be going outside for hours, to the lake, reading, anything other than being lazy at home.

"whattttt?" he mocked, sitting up from his bed, his hair all messed up and funny looking.

i chuckled. "your hair looks great." i smiled, climbing to straddle his lap and fix his bed head. "better" i smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "i have a business proposal."

matt sighed, "what do you want." he rolled his eyes with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

i hopped off him, standing at the foot of his bed. "i vote we go to barnes and noble today, my book case is baren." i joked. four out of the five of my bookshelves were full completely. but you can never have too many books.

"y/n you have more books than i think i've ever seen anywhere else in my life." he laughed. matt pretended to be annoyed, but he knows the answer is yes. and not just to this scenario, the answer is always yes to everything y/n wants. she had him wrapped around her tiny little finger. "when do you want to go?" he gave in.

i jumped around the room a couple times, silently celebrated with myself. "right now silly." i said. i trotted into his bathroom where i have my own drawer of toiletries and such. i touched up my makeup and threw on my shoes. "ok i'm ready." i beamed up at him. matt basically towered over me. he's 5'8 and i'm 5'3, so there's a pretty noticeable height difference.

he slipped his own shoes on. "i'm ready." he smiled, grabbing his keys.

i just looked at him. "matt babe." i looked at his outfit. "we are not going anywhere when you are wearing basketball shorts and a wife beater. please change." i said, false seriousness evident on my features.

-

"oh my god i'm literally gonna shit my pants i love barnes and noble." i said, climbing out of the passenger seat. I made matt carry my three tote bags i have designated for my favorite hobby, book shopping.

"do i really have to come in." matt complained.

-

we had been at barnes and noble for an hour already, two out of the three of my tote bags were full. so full we had to put them by checkout because they were too heavy to carry. About 15 minutes in i had made a joke that i thought was hilarious, matt didn't really think so.

-

"haha, bernard's and noble." i chuckled to myself, but matt heard me.

"y/n i swear to god i will leave you here."

"deal."

-

i was finally ready to go, the final tote bag full. i couldn't find matt though. i wandered through the multiple sections of books, matt no where in sight. "maybe he did leave me here." i mumbled under my breath. until my eye caught matt. he was crouched down, one hand on the shelf, the other hand occupied with a book.

"whatchya readin?" i smiled over him. my heart melted when he looked up at me, a small smile on his face. i took this time to take in his beauty. the way his slight curls fell over his eyebrows, the way his middle part accentuated his face shape, the way his blue eyes went so well with his outfit. he was wearing the white shirt with 'whatever' in bold print written across it, and baggy light wash blue jeans, his keys dangling from his belt loop.

"some poetry book, i might get it it's kinda fire." he smiled.

"you read poetry?"

"i like finding the good ones and printing them out, i like to look back on the really influential ones." matt said. he stood up and took my bag, his hand resting on the small of my back.

"matt i don't deserve you, you're so sweet." a cheesy grin creeping onto my lips.

"y/n you deserve the world." he smiled down at me, kissing my forehead.

"ok now how are we gonna get all of these in the car?" i laughed.

-

tag list!

@cupidzsq

[quitealotofsodapop]

Ok, but in the Mother-Child Preggers Tang au... what if it crosses over with Slow Boiled au?

Referencing this post I made about Tang accidentally drinking from the Mother-Child River while the gang are travelling in S3.

Oh gosh i love the idea. In all the chaos of Wukong having his Stone Egg, Tang accidentally gets himself in a similar postition. XD

Throughout the Slow-Boiled Au, Pigsy and Tang frequently prove themselves to be good parents, and with all the talk of Wukong's overdue baby, the freenoodles pair both start to wonder...

Both brush the thoughts off cus they're in their 30s at least, and MK is enough. But the thoughts still crop up time to time.

Then cue Tang getting so thirsty during the S3 team-split, that he takes a big mouthful of river water without boiling it first. Pigsy initially blames the scholar's cramps on giardia. But they were oh so wrong.

Scorpion Queen pretty much forces herself into the gang because she's the only one around who *knows* how the Mother-Child River works. And she's not gonna let her new friends get hurt with all this bone demon business!

Pigsy, unsure: "Hey, Scorpion? I have something I really need to ask about the River." Scorpion Queen: "Sure thing! Ask me anything!" Pigsy, hesistating: "Will... will the baby look just like Tang? Or is some... river god involved?" Scorpion Queen, catching on quickly: "OH! Oh no no no! Theres no river god baby-daddy!" *starts laughing* Pigsy, relieved: "Phew!" Tang: "Aww! Piggy, you were worried!" Pigsy: "I dont mind our kid being a mini-you. I just dont want some gross minor god to have his mitts on ya'." Scorpion Queen, still laughing: "Nah dude! You guys are gonna have a cute little piglet!" Pigsy & Tang: "Wut." Scorpion Queen: "Couples came to the River to have babies all the time! If the drinker had a mate, then the baby would take on the appearance of their partner by absorbing some of their dao. If it didn't, then the Kingdom of Women would have been overrun with inbred clones!" Tang: "Ah, that makes sense." Pigsy: *completely dumbstruck with joy* Wukong, quiet until now: "...wait. Did the ladies back at the village think Master and Zhu Bajie were a mated couple that fumbled the process!? Is that why they laughed so much!?"

And ofc because of their shared situation, Tang and Wukong bond over the rest of the roadtrip. Tang would 100% wear a cringey matching maternity shirt with the Monkey King if they had time to stop for some shopping.

Pigsy breaks the news to the rest of the gang in an... unelegant fashion after the Samadhi Fire ritual went belly-up.

Pigsy: "So uh... stuff happened when we all got separated back in the desert." MK: "Yeah, you said Monkey King got amnesia and thats how Scorpion Queen joined the team." Scorpion Queen: *delighted wave!* Tang: "There's more to it MK..." MK, panicking: "Oh gods, you guys aren't hiding a world-ending secret too, right!? Cus I cannot deal with-" Pigsy, cutting him off: "Tang is pregnant. And we've decided to keep the baby." MK: *struck silent* Sandy, joyfully: "Congratulations! I hope the Monkey King didn't hear too much of you guys making it!" Pigsy, blushing furiously: "NOT LIKE THAT!!!" Tang, amused grin: "How else are babies made, Piggy? I'm certainly not having a stone egg.~" Pigsy, red-faced: "'CUS YOU DRANK THAT STANKY MUD WATER, THATS HOW!" MK, frozen stiff: "Wut."

Needless to say, MK is happy for his parents, but the timing isn't ideal. After LBD is defeated though, MK fully embraces his upcoming baby sibling! XD

Unfortunately the timing also means that Tang spends S4 in a very compromised position.

Yeah, Mother-Child River Tang isn't having a fun time...

[lightlycareless]

I've had this idea for a while ago , maybe you've said something similar but : Y/N piercing Naoya's ear 🤭❤️

Hello!!

Omg I've never thought of this before, I mean, y/n likes how good Naoya's piercings look on him, but helping him get another one? 😏 Now that's interesting.

Either way, here is a little drabble I wrote about that. How I think things would go down.

Warnings: fluff. Naoya is a lil bit of a prick. Mentions of nsfw activities.

Happy reading!!

Naoya's piercings are one of the many things that make him even more charming, undoubtedly.

However, you were already attracted to him, before the hair dye and the piercings, but when he got these two things together… it made you wetter far more intrigued by him.

Especially the piercings.

It's just… one of those things you never thought you'd see from him! Coming from a traditional household and all that.

But you're very glad he went through with them, because he looks very handsome, more than he already was.

And now that the two are finally together, you can happily gush about them to your heart's desire—something Naoya likes very much :)

How you carefully play with his piercings whenever you can, (it's almost relaxing for the two at this point), kiss them, help him clean them, or even choosing what stud would look good on him, and so on and so forth.

You really, really like them. There's no denying that. And with your admiration and care, Naoya eventually concludes you might be willing to pierce him too.

At first you were hesitant, knowing you weren't suitable for such a job; after all, you've never done anything like this before! Nor cared for, really. Often simply accompanying Naoya to designated businesses that employ such services, tend for him post-piercing, happily doing so, and that's about it.

“I don't know, Naoya… what if I hurt you?” You murmur, already set to reject him.

“You could never hurt me, my dove.” he reassures you, and with the soft way he spoke, alongside the loving look on his face… you concede.

For what becomes your biggest regret, no doubt, because while Naoya prepared everything beforehand, down to the smallest details, to make the job easier for both…

His teasing nature is something you'll never manage to escape from, even in moments like this.

“Are—Are you ready Naoya???” You squeak, holding the needle by the upper lobe of his right ear, the location of his new piercing.

“Why are you so nervous?” He chuckles “it's almost as if you're getting pierced”

“Don't mock me” you pout, pushing aside your nerves once more, whatever you could anyways. “... I'm going to do it now, then. Are you sure it doesn't hurt?”

“Positive” he says with a smile, placing his hand over your arm and gently squeezing it, to reassure you. “You'll do fine.”

You swallow.

“Ok” you nod. “I'm going to do it now…. One, two…—”

“Ah! Shit!” Naoya gasps, just when you gently push the needle against his skin, you quickly pull away.

“Oh my God, Naoya! Are you ok?! Does it hurt?!” You fret, eyes darting between his ear and face, a million terrifying, painful thoughts crossing your mind, debating whether to call an ambulance or not!

…

…

Only for those thoughts to immediately cease, emotions shifting towards confusion, and then anger, when he begins to laugh, revealing his reaction to be nothing more than a jest.

“You should've seen your face!” Naoya chuckles, clearly amused by your distress. While you… well, you were not.

“That's not funny, Naoya! I thought I hurt you!” You cry, smacking him on the arm. “Don't do that again!”

“Ah, it was just a joke, my love!” He laughs, catching your hand right before you can hit him again and placing a kiss on the knuckles. Naoya then relaxed back in place. “I promise I won't do it again.”

“... You better” you warn, ready to pierce him once and for all…

Unless he decided to irk out more of your reactions, shrieking when you do as little as place the needle in place, the slightest of pressure, or just about anything, and all the subsequent attempts.

So, naturally fed up and irritated by the nth time, you've decided to drop the matter all together and retreat, Naoya following you soon after .

“I'm just kidding, mochi! No need to get all worked up like that” he chuckles.

“I thought I was hurting you for real, Naoya!” You respond.

“I told you, you could never—”

“Well then, could you at least consider for a minute that I don't like seeing you in pain??” you breathe. “What if something happens and I don't take it seriously because you're always fooling around?!”

Silence, alongside guilt settling in Naoya's heart.

“I got really worried, you know that?” you add, he sighs.

Of course he knew that. Naoya must've, considering this was your first time doing something like this, and probably the last too thanks to his efforts.

But it wasn't intentional. At least not in the way he was acting.

Naoya thought that by reacting in such a careless way, he'd be able to convince you it wasn't that serious, just something that needed to be approached with care, and not as a high-risk surgery.

Though he greatly miscalculated, your reaction reminding him that your feelings for him were vastly greater than he anticipated, both moving him, and making him feel like the biggest douche in the world.

“I'm sorry” Naoya apologizes softly. “I was only trying to brighten the mood.”

“You have a funny way of doing that.” You murmur. “... I don't want to do it anymore.”

“I know.” Naoya smiles, taking a step closer to wrap his arms around you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “We'll just forget about this and move on.”

“But I still want you to get the piercing done” you say, looking up to him. You'd hate to be the reason he stops his plans altogether.

“I'll just schedule it another day” he responds with a smirk. “I still expect you to nurse me, though”

“...I always do.” you pout, leaning into his chest and embracing him back. “Pervert”

“Who's talking about that, Y/N?” Your boyfriend laughs. “Not only are you a fretting little thing, but also, a hugely perverted one…”

“You know exactly what you were talking about” you retorted. “...it's not like we do that every single time you get a new piercing. Or just because we feel like it…”

“Then I guess I'll just have to keep getting new ones” he shrugs, you shake your head.

“No! Not that many either!” You cry. “You look… very good with the ones you have right now… not too much, nor too little, just right.”

Naoya's heart skips a beat, always a victim to the unwitting way your compliments make him nothing but putty.

Amongst other things.

“Can't wait for you to see where I'm getting my next piercing, then.”

“It’s going to look really good! Your right ear was kind of lonely compared to the left” you say, reaching for his ear. “I'm really excited for it too”

“I was talking about something a bit more… discreet.” he smiles.

And a few seconds of silence, eventually catching up on his implication, you blush.

So... I genuinely think Y/N would say no to that hahaha I looked into it (a little) just to see how everything happens and it made me think: oof, too much. Y/N is surely freaking out.

Naoya would love it though, if he could get everything done with Y/N, it would be a dream. A perverted one. Sigh. How do they even accomplish anything? A mystery.

Anyways, I hope you liked this!!! Thank you so much for you patience and sharing this with me!!! 🥺💕 I'm slowly working through all the requests... Which I'm eternally grateful for 🥺❤️❤️❤️ goshahdkaishdoaka you don't know how flattered I am to be in your consideration 😭❤️

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

[skzoologist]

Ok so I have another idea,

So bae is having a bad day and struggling with something, feeling insecure making him feel really stressed and down and he considers harming himself to cope with it thankfully one of the members notice him (Feeling in a minho or chan mood rn so if you could write it as them that would be amazing) and check up on him right before he was about to and stops, him comforting bae

P.S You don't have to write it if you aren't comfortable writing something like this. Ngl I dunno what came over me with this, maybe I am self projecting?

-🐿️

word count: ~2.1k

warnings: self-harm, self-deprecating thoughts

genre: heavy angst, hurt/comfort

a/n: I know I got another ask from a different follower a day ago, but this is just activating my own spidey senses, so this enjoys priority. Also I'm alright writing this, because it touches on a part of Bae's lore that I haven't revealed yet, so don't worry about that. But 🐿️ anon, my sweetie, if you ever really have these thoughts, talk to someone. Anyone. A friend, family, heck, even me or another online person! This isn't a long-term solution, but it can help tremendously. This goes for everyone too: if talking to me or requesting something like this helps, never hesitate to do so! Life is hard and we sometimes need some time and help to recuperate and get back to our feet. There's no shame in it.

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

As soon as Bae opened his eyes, he felt the air heavily pressing onto his skin, as if a weight was fused onto the upper layer. His limbs felt sluggish, as if his own blood and bones were cast out of pure steel and misery. The light that successfully seeped through the thick curtains felt too bright, earning a low hiss from the male.

Mornings after a migraine were always hard to bear.

The one he’d had the previous day was particularly harsh, rendering him useless as he’d been just carried away by his bandmates to the dorms in urgency. All schedules’s been cancelled for him immediately, Chan telling him how it was alright, how he should only ever focus on his own health.

It made his stomach churn.

Everyone was working themselves to the point of exhaustion every single day, yet here he was, laying in bed once again, causing inconvenience for everyone. He hated it with every fibre of his being, the feeling seeping deep inside and nestling there. 

Yet, Bae put a lock onto the gate this monstrous being hid behind, forcing his limbs to move, the motion cumbersome and difficult. What would have only taken him a few minutes now took ten or twenty, an obscuring fog settling over most of his mind. Nothing felt right, yet he powered through it, refusing to leave out another day of work. 

Not even Chan could stop him.

After his morning routine was done and his horribly pale skin was hidden behind makeup, he went out of his room at his own, slow pace, knowing fully well no one else was at the dorms anymore. They were all already at the company, busy with their solo schedules and practices. He himself had to be at a photoshoot in an hour, or at least according to his original, filled out schedule. His hyungs adamantly gave him not only yesterday off, but two other days as well, not leaving him any room for argument.

Little did they know he’d told his own manager to reschedule those two days amidst head-splitting pain and blurry vision. It was an arduous task, but he’d managed.

Once he was down in the lobby and ready to go, his driver was surprised, safe to say, the expression obvious as it sat out onto his face. But he’d been working with Bae for long years now, thus that was the only indication about the idol’s unexpected appearance. No words were exchanged, the two acknowledged the other with a respectful nod and off they were to their destination.

The drive wasn’t long, leaving Bae no time to sink into his thoughts as he watched the scenery fly by through the window. Even the weather was feeling down, the skies grey and melancholic. It felt as if in the next minute the clouds would start weeping, openly pouring their heart out in a silent farewell.

Once the car was parked, he slightly nodded at the driver who was looking back at him, opening the door and stepping out onto still dry pavement. His legs automatically took him into the company, something he was grateful for with his hazy mind. The only thoughts that were coherently formed in there were about his bandmates and how he wished he wouldn’t run into them accidentally. He really didn’t have the energy to hear what they had to say and berate him over not resting.

It seemed like his prayers were heard, nobody noticing him as he was silently walking through the halls, as if he was a ghost tied to them for eternity. The moment the staff saw him enter the room they bowed and greeted him, something he reciprocated silently with a bow of his own. 

He was soon whisked away to a chair, his makeup and hair professionally done. Even if the workers noticed the bags under his eyes or his unnaturally pale complexion, none of them acknowledged it, opting to instead silently work away with precise movements. 

The different array of powder snugly stuck to his skin, just enough to make him feel like the idol he was supposed to be, not a smidge more. The colours were vibrant, the exact opposite of what he felt like under the mask he’d put up, something that fit his idol self only. His bleached, white hair was gently clipped up, a few chosen strands taken out and purposefully left hanging down, framing his face elegantly. A glint caught his eye, the dangly earring in his left ear catching light and shining brightly.

The man who looked back at him in the mirror felt like someone else.

Tearing his gaze away, he let the stylists choose his outfit and got into position, everyone’s eyes on that stranger who he was supposed to be. With a cold gaze he did his job, perfectly executing everything that was expected of him. Even after the sixth outfit change, the final one, and endless photos taken over the course of hours, his expression remained unchanged, focus solely on the camera that was pointed directly at him.

The way back home felt like a blur to him. Stripped of the branded clothes and sheltering makeup on his face, he felt vulnerable, something those dark, swirling thoughts started taking advantage of. He tried to think of anything else, of food or even a favourite TV show.

None of it worked.

They all circled back to how he shouldn’t be skipping the group’s dance practice, how miserable he looked and how he felt nauseous, even though he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Horrendous scenarios played through his head, worsening with every passing second, each ending with him being forced to leave the group.

He really should cook something. If not for himself, then his bandmates, who no doubt would be hungry by the time they got back to the dorms.

But what if… What if they wouldn’t want to eat it? Why would they? After all, he was someone undeserving of their love, to be in the group, useless with a malfunctioning body. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of them finally would have had enough of his constant migraines and the hassle that always came with it, the constant darkness and hushed voices as he was carried away, unmoving.

He also didn’t have an amazingly unique voice like Felix, or dance moves like Minho. Hell, he didn’t even know how to produce music, like 3RACHA.

He was useless.

The knife in his hand glinted, surrounded by half-chopped vegetables. A thought ran through his head, one that would solve all his problems, permanently ending them.

Pale skin drew him in, dark veins peeking through. It felt inviting, as if it somehow grew a mouth itself and called the knife’s name, inescapably alluring.

“Bae?”

His eyes were drawn from the freshly drawn blood, only a few droplets escaping and coating the surface of the blade in a bittersweet vermillion colour. Chan just stood there, frozen, hand stopped midair, no doubt in the process of taking off his bag. Their eyes met, dull ones with pure panic, darting between the knife and Bae’s eyes, as if no matter how hard their owner tried, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

The thud of the bag was loud in the heavy silence, unsure footsteps soon following it.

Bae just watched as the older walked towards him, steps wobbly and out of their usual, steady rhythm. Shaking hands reached towards his own ones, gently prying them apart and away from the stained, sharp object.

An even shakier breath left Chan’s lips as he just stood there, still holding the other’s hands in his gentle hold, blood now painting his skin in small rivers. Their eyes couldn’t meet this time, no, the leader’s own gaze focused on their conjoined hands, expression hidden from the younger.

Not a sound could be heard as Bae was led towards the bathroom, Chan’s hands quietly working away on taking care of the fresh wound. Bae similarly didn’t say anything, not even hiss left his lips when the alcohol touched open skin, or when it was finally sealed off, left to heal in peace.

The two remained there for a while, one standing, the other sitting, until the silence was broken by quiet sniffles, the older’s lip wobbling and eyes shining with unshed tears.

“What were you thinking?” - his voice was a broken little thing, as if he himself got hurt by the knife instead of Bae.

The younger stayed silent, numb and unwilling to burden anyone with his worthless thoughts. He didn’t deserve being cared for like this, something the voices whispered to him relentlessly.

“Bae, why did you do it? Do you hate being with us this much?”

His head snapped up from where he was observing the tiles underneath his feet, wide eyes staring into Chan’s tear-filled ones. Those obsidian orbs were filled with sorrow, the usually bright nebulas now hidden in darkness. The sight alone broke something in Bae, as if he was pulled up onto the surface of an alaskan lake from its deep, imprisoning depths.

A sound left the younger’s lips, something that vaguely resembled a word, yet no one could tell. It was quiet, broken, much like the male himself. More soon followed its wake, finally donning the form of a word and adamantly denying Chan’s question with their sole existence. His head shook as tears finally fell down upon shaking hands, ones that were raised in a sad attempt of hiding away. Chan didn’t hesitate to hug the unravelling boy in front of him, his standing form easily engulfing Bae’s small, sitting one.

“Then why?” - the question was careful, as if a single wrong word could shatter Bae into irreparable pieces.

“I don’t feel worthy to be here.” - that was the simple answer he got.

The grip on the younger tightened impossibly, Chan’s form rigid and unbreathing. It prompted Bae to snake his hands further up, clinging onto the fabric there desperately, hold more secure on his hyung. His head was buried in Chan’s stomach, afraid to be seen like this.

“My moonlight, look at me.” - it was a gentle request, one that was accompanied by tender hands, holding onto tear-stained cheeks and leading them out of their hiding.

Thumbs softly swiped the droplets away from underneath dark, confused eyes.

“You’re one of the hardest working people I’ve ever met, and I’ve been in this demanding industry for longer than anyone should have. There’s a passionate fire burning inside you, one that you never let lose its intensity. Not only do you practise and work relentlessly, you also have amazing talent in everything you do. Your singing is wonderfully soft, perfectly harmonising with anyone you sing with. You know every single one of our dances to the point where if I were to start a song from any point, you would know what dance move goes with it. And you always look amazing, no matter what you wear or do. On top of all that, you never fail to help us or listen to our problems. Never once have you turned us away in all these years.”

Chan’s eyes held a soft light, a gentle smile dancing on his lips. It stole the breath out of Bae’s lungs, his eyes stinging as a fresh wave of tears started forming.

“You can ask any of us, we would only sing your praises. Because they’re true, baby. You might get migraines often, but then what? That doesn’t make you any less of us. You work hard enough already, a little rest won’t take away from that.”

He stopped for a moment, as if a fond memory appeared in front of his eyes.

“Did you know? I love the little snacks you sneak into my bag that I take to the studio with me. I also love the little notes you always give me with it and the silly little drawings on them. I’ve never thrown one out ever since you started giving them to me.”

The look on Chan’s face was entirely too fond, something that Bae couldn’t possibly look at for too long, lest his chest burst into loved pieces. No, hiding into the fabric of his hyung felt better, unwilling to think about the way the man’s lips curved up, dimples peeking through, or the way his eyes were just slightly crinkled, holding the warmth of a star itself even through those crystal droplets.

“You’re loved, Bae. Never forget that.”

[rubixpsyche]

What’re your headcanons for human!Vox?

Like: Name, specific nationalities, any preferences, what’s changed since he died, etc . Just !!! I love your headcanons so much I need to know more .

Asian!Vox hc

It's my lil baby ok it's my most precious hc to me. (Everything here is up to change because I have not had time to research the diaspora experience and era in which he lived in). Thanks so much for asking, I went overboard tbh this could be 3 posts by itself

Name: Without the best grasp and exposure to English names, someone cruelly suggested one as a joke when he arrived in America and he trusted them, only to find out too late to change it that it was bad, either because people could make fun of him for it, or because it was a name of a infamous figure of the time, and everytime someone made the same stupid joke about it for the rest of his career he got more and more frustrated. (I feel mean picking out an english name and saying it's a 'bad' or stupid one, so hey maybe I'll hold a vote or look up some history.) This constant fucking humiliation is what leads to him overdoing it with learning english, and why he named himself Vox in hell.

He had to live his life talked over, given a name he fucking hated. In death he would speak for himself. And for all these Sinners. This time He would be Their Voice. He'd even make them think it was their choice.

(I'll make up his traditional name later, excited to try)

Nationality: Hong Kong 🇭🇰 Hong Kong. Anyone who speaks Cantonese knows where I'm going with this HAHAHAHAAAAA. Oh I just want to make him swear so beautifully. He doesn't do it much at all in Hell, the internalized racism has him trying so hard to make people think he was white in life. Anytime he does speak canto he tries to pass it off as him having learnt the language for business. This works since he actually has learnt several more languages over the years because that fear of being misrepresented haunts him. With how technology has progressed, I think he would have learnt German, Japanese and Korean, so he could better ensnare newly deceased Sinners he knows worked in the big tech companies in life. Those NDAs don't extend here.

Sometimes he just stews because he knows he could insult someone so well, or at least in a way that will truly satisfy him, but he has to keep his trap shut and his language English. This is also why he gets so fucking flustered in Stayed Gone. He knows he could outperform Alastor EASILY if he wasn't slowed down translating himself. Also why he still uses old slang.

I can't control myself so, readmore time

Vark gets special rambling in cantonese priviledges. I think he is so (affectionately) mean to Vark. He can do that run-on insult thing for 15 minutes. Vark is just happy to be here. People think Vark is bad at listening to orders, secretly Vox has trained em to only listen to canto instructions. Anything in english just flies over his head.

Everything else: I keep just projecting people I know onto em. I think he had (and still does) a janky idea of what "Successful" people looked like, fashion-wise, and emulated it both when he was struggling to make it to now with all his success. Velvette is fucking dieing. That watch is tacky, she doesn't care how expensive it is, get rid of it. Oh my god noone wears chains like that anymore.

He pretends to like all that high-end cuisine and wines, but really he still loves proper savoury food and the cheap beers he had at home or at the places he gambled at (big gambler by the way. Not in a self-sabotaging way, but it was his only socialization outside of work, in life, where he could fucking relax and chat with all the other immigrants there) (they were milking him for all he's worth btw. My god). Everytime a proper chef lands in Hell he snaps them up in the hopes he can get really good food in his tower right at home.

Actually he's still a little bit superstitious, although sometimes he questions the point of that when they're in the Afterlife and have seen the 'answers' noone would ever get in life. It brings him some comfort though, and in some way makes him feel like he still remembers his life. He hates remembering his life but some part of it is so afraid of losing it and himself.

Preferences: To me he reads as someone that ENTIRELY misunderstood his attraction to men as just general admiration. He wanted to be those successful guys, he wanted their lives. Which was true but he was also a lil thirsty. I think he would have gotten a wife, because that was a sign of success, as would having successful/smart children. This is mostly dependant on how long he actually lived. If he died young, or if he was that dedicated to his career, he might not have courted anyone long enough to get married. They would not have been happy.

Even in death he still thought his attraction was just admiration, but he wasn't super resistant to the idea of allowing himself to 'start' getting into men when the general position of Hell changed. As in once sinners didn't give a shit and were openly all queer, he thought noone could give him shit for it, and acted as if he always knew, that he has sooo much experience. Faking it till he makes it. He just had really high standards, guys. Falls into Valentino's bed. Alright.

The 'point' of straight relationships, to him in life, was the nuclear family goal. But noone in hell can reproduce, so who cares!

I wanna nonbinary this fucker so bad but that's too much projection, perhaps, and honestly could be its own post since I would absolutely connect that to the Mechanical thing.

Oh I have/will have more next time, for now I wanna reply to this before it's been too long. Thanks again and ask me more anytime!!

[ananc1tes]

promo posts for my AO3 fics because why not 💕

My Heart is Yours to Fill or Burst

Rating: E

Words: 68K

Relationship: WangXian

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe Modern Setting, Modern with Magic, Inspired by Cherry Magic, Telepathy, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Eventual Smut

Summary/Excerpt:

On his 30th birthday, Lan Zhan gets struck by a mysterious curse: suddenly he's a mind reader!

As much as he dislikes most people talking too much, hearing their unfiltered thoughts is even worse.

To top it all off, he learns that his old friend Wei Ying might not be flirting with him just to be a nuisance. He might be flirting with Lan Zhan because he's actually really into him?

Lan Huan opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, pressing his lips together tightly. "Mmhhh..." He cleared his throat, grimacing, eyes wandering around the kitchen. "Don't take what I'm about to ask the wrong way, OK?" "Answer my question first. What do you know?" "Are you still a virgin?" There was a good chance that in approximately three seconds time, the entire apartment complex would be reduced to ashes, because Lan Zhan was about to explode. "Excuse me?" he ground out, surprised by his own restraint. Besides the fact that this was absolutely none of his brother's business – they were close in many ways, but this was the sort of thing they simply did not talk about – but what could that possibly have to do with anything right now? "I'm not asking to annoy you or intrude," Lan Huan said calmly. "I promise it's important." Lan Zhan pressed his teeth together until his jaw hurt. Then he nodded, not looking his brother in the eye. He wasn't ashamed of his virgin status, even at the ripe old age of 30, he just didn't broadcast this fact to the world. For one, because this was extremely private information, and also because he knew how other people would react. Some would pity him (not that he needed it), or make fun of him (not that he cared), and others, like his brother, would be worried about him (not that he felt like there was anything to worry about). There would be gossip and whispers behind his back, but he didn't care about that sort of thing; he never had. The part that worried him, was that some people would try to 'fix him' and set him up on dates. He remembered how it had been during school and basic training, when his peers started having relationships, some innocent and some very much not. Some boys couldn't start bragging quickly enough about their conquests. Lan Zhan was simply not interested in any of that. He had more important things to do with his life. But even he could feel the ever-present peer pressure, the expectation that he too should be like others in this regard. And of course Wei Ying had appointed himself head of the 'We need to get Lan Zhan a girlfriend' committee, which had not helped the situation in the slightest.

[hdra77]

Ok since this blog is kinda getting alot of attention i'll just make a pinned post about a little bit of myself

Hey y'all i'm Soren

He/Him

You can call me fishe or just dra

I am bilingual but im more comfortable speaking in english (still bad at it actually)

Using my art as PFPs/Banners is okay! As long as you give proper credit! But reuploading my works without my permission or claiming them as your own is NOT okay. I will find you and i will hunt you down and turn you into a helpless flopping fish gasping for air.

Inspirations is ok too!! But please do not directly copy from the original work.

my interest varies but i currently hyperfixtate on these fandoms so far:

Rainworld

Marikinonline4

Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft

Warrior cats

And for those who wanted to interact with me this is my discord tag: hindrance77

My dms here are also open so feel free to send me a message! (No weird dms or you get instant block)

Im busy and i dont check discord as frequently but i would be happy to talk to you! I would also be glad to make friends im not intimidating i promise i dont bite totally-

My ask box are always open! Ask me anything basically, my aus, ocs, pretty much anything. You can also send some requests but they will take a gajillion years to finish but i promise ill get them done soon!

i really like cybercore,webcore,warcore aesthetic it may not look like it right now but expect a whole bunch of techcore designs soon

Oh and i am also a huge fan of astronomy,space and all of that sort. Along with post apocalyptic settings,body horror elements and eldritch beings.

Btw please read this before following my blog!! There would be gore,body horror and even some suggestive themes Sometimes but overall i do not post any explicit nsfw here !!

i draw stickmen a lot and i mean a whole lot. that shows so much in my twitter account. i like to animate too and fishes and cats are my favorite, those silly little thangs

my DNI are basically the general DNI: proshippers,homophobes,etc. you know, the general

My tags:

#hdra7shitposts - yes, shitposts

#fishdoesart - all my art comes here

#fishdoesdoodles - random doodles and some occasional shitposting, mostly on ms paint

#fishdoesrequests - all my art requests comes here, so far this is where you find my ship requests (still open for now btw)

#wips - wips

#fishbites.txt - ramblings

#othersart - gifts/fanarts! Sometimes some reblogs

#asks - all of my responses comes here

My other blogs:

@nyaworld-askblog - for the nyaworld au! this blog is story driven but asks for specific characters are always welcome!

@fallowclans-unruly-demise - for a warrior cats clangen blog, still stuck in hiatus void

My Rainworld AU tags:

#rw voided au - simple AU about iterators called voideds who drains void fluids out of other iterators, theres also some rot infection going on too

#rw disarray au/SYSTEM FAILURE - a virus in Lttm's code had created a fatal error in her system which caused her to slowly spiral into insanity as she would slowly loosen her grip onto reality, claiming that she had found the solution to their problem..but was it really the answer all along?

#rw nyaworld au - joke au about the entire rainworld cast taking place in the 2000's this one is purely just for nostalgia purposes

My Rainworld Oc tags:

#7c dystopian arbitrary

#7c golden life

#rw ocs

-- still WIP --

[queensqueercourt]

"We found this reel near the mercenary's break room. mind going through it before going through the archives?"

Intern propoganda post for @tf2shipswag's oc tournament! Intern voiced by me, interviewer voiced by @beepiesheepie, and Alwyne voiced by @gordonfreemanreal.

Transcript under the cut!

IV=INTERVIEWER IN=INTERN AW= ALWYNE

The interviewer Rustles the mic and tape recorder a bit, setting it up

IV: test test one one, ok all set up! would you mind testing your mic kid?

IN: oh uh, hello? Hi?

IV: … right, all clear on my end! This thing is a real son of a bitch to set up- oh- I'm sorry, you're just a kid I apologize-

IN: oh no no it's alright! I'm 16, you won't tarnish my mind with some swear words.

IV: Well if it's alright with you… Let's start the recording then! Let's give a bit of a pause before we start since I'm gonna cut this part out.

In: ok, just, y'know give me the word…

A moment of silence

Iv: Timestamp: August 5th, 1971, today I will be interviewing Mann Co intern, [harsh bleep] Fleming. I'm here to ask some questions about your current employment.

In: Fire away.

IV: Excellent. Now, first of all, tell me about your day to day workload, what you do every single day to keep this place running.

IN: Well… it's definitely not easy. I do a lot of organizing.

IV: Of what kind?

IN: Oh, you know, files.

IV: … Mx Fleming, could you go into further detail about this organizing that you do?

IN: Sure! I keep files in place, and, I make sure they're how Pauling likes them. I organize by date, importance, ownership, type, secrecy, and-

IV: Ownership?

IN: Yeah! Ownership! Like, uh. Who owned them before they came to me, what station they were in before, like-

IV: Station?

IN: Yeah! Like police station. The guys- mercs- do crimes a lot, and I do whatever Pauling can't, like sneaking into police stations to steal reports, or hide bodies before said police show up! Pauling is really thankful for it, when I'm in the station she's hours away at a different one, forging documents! She told me she'd teach me how to do it, but both of us have been busy.

IV: With, what?

IN: Work! What else do you think? I get the mercs coffee, even though Engie was supposed to fix the coffee maker months ago, and I run around with Bidwell to make sure every endangered animal made it to mercenary park, and I count every single kill on every strange weapon to make sure its at the right rank! Do you know how many people the mercs have to kill to get a weapon to the 'Hale's Own' rank? Eight, freaking, thousand. You know the Australium weapons too? The ones the mercs get after slaughtering down the robots trying to take over Mann Co? I'm the one that puts everything in those crates, every robot part, every fabricator and kit. I'm pretty sure those fabricators are in there to give the mercs enrichment, like they're zoo animals. That's kind of how Mr. Hale treats them anyway.

IV: I see… could you elaborate on what you do with Mr. Bidwell and Ms. Pauling?

IN: Sure. With Pauling I just do what she doesn't have time for. The Administrator puts a LOT on her plate, like a lot. Usually I do embezzling, body disposal, hiding the base from any goon that drives in the badlands, serving out contracts, getting takeout- I'm like a… mini Pauling! With Bidwell I write transcripts, approve or deny anything the mercs request, or kill company rivals-

IV: Kill company rivals?

IN: Yeah! There's a weird amount of munitions dealers and bootlegs of Mann Co out there!

IV lets out a small laugh: id imagine!

IN also lets out a small laugh as the room goes quiet as the IV is writing things down on the piece of paper for a few seconds

IN:so,,,what company do you work for?

IV: hm?

IN: the company. That you're representing. I've put together you don't know much about how Mann co works and its operation, and you're not very keen on the mercenaries as well. You've only interviewed me about this. Am i correct?

IV:,, and i thought i was the one interviewing you!-

IN: answer the question.

IV:,,,I dont see why this would be important to your interview mx. fleming, why don't we get back to the questionnaire? Film is quite expensive and id hate-

IN: Speaking of which! It's so crazy how you know my full name!I havent heard it in ages it's almost alien to hear it coming out of a stranger's mouth, who doesn't work at Mann co or is affiliated with the mercenaries.

IV:Kid, its just a name, can we please go on with the interview!-

IN:no! We cant! Because you know the name of a person who’s never even heard their name sputtered out or even known by their own boss. So you explain where you got that file. And why all your questions have been so private business oriented anyways.

The IV pauses for a second, realizing they are in danger before stammering: I- Kid, listen, this isnt about you its not “personal” its about your coworkers too! I mean what kind of interviewer wouldnt see it from all sides, itd be quite inefficient if you ask me-

IN: wow.

Iv: ,hm?

IN: You told the truth. I thought youd never stop spouting bullshit out of your mouth.

IV: you shut your god damn mouth, this is my interveiw you-

IN: Actually i think you DID taint my mind a bit after cussing at the start of this interrogation, and not only that but youre putting the pieces of the puzzle right in front of yourself and solving them without even knowing it! This IS about efficiency! Im the easiest of all the workers close to the admin and saxton to talk to. Bidwell and miss pauling are off doing some crap out and about im just the guy to tell you what those two are up to!! You and your thinly veiled espionage as some kind of “quick questionnaire for the new interns”, its take a world-class idiot to not recognize the pattern you've laid out.

The IV sits for a minute, questioning what to say next

IV:,,, you think youre so fuckin clever kid-

IN: oh i know i am. If i wasnt you wouldnt have put a gun under the table. I think this is a win for me. But thats just my opinion. So please IN taps the mic: tell me yours.

A few moments of silence pass before a screech of a metal chair is heard and IV tries to pull out the gun from under the desk but is stopped by IN, shooting them 3 times.

As the silence fades soft and faint gurgling and pained sounds are heard before IV dies with an exhale IN moves and shuffles through the files, moving papers and notes IN muttering and murmuring before saying: damn they did their homework,, i didn't think that Charles Darling needed to know about my H&M clothing receipts..??

After those moments AW enters the room looking around before saying: Christ Intern, got that fed up with their questions already? …I’m a little impressed, honestly. Thought you’d kill ‘em sooner. AW mutters to himself: Damn, I owe Brodie 20 bucks now..

IN Barks out a laugh: HA! Sucker! Ah shitshitshit theyre bleeding all over the carpet!! Al, help me carry em out before it stains beyond repair.

AW: Hold on. That thing’s still on.

IN moves around, before playing with the setup: now THIS will be interesting to show the team. I think Rep knowns how to put this stuff on a vhs! Plus a fancy new recording setup!

AW: Wait- how long has that been on?

IN: i think for the entire conversation, why?

AW: I’d get rid of it, probably blackmail material if you ask me, reeaaal easy to use in court if we ever get caught.

IN: shit, right…. Hey Al, what does this red button d-

End of transcript

[biscuit-munchies]

Hi! I just found your PLA Paul AU and I'm loving it! I feel so terrible for poor Reggie, and Brandon too! :'(

It's made me think though, how would Paul & Brandon react if it was Reggie who disappeared?

How would Paul deal with Reggie just..being gone?

I've had this thought in mind since PLA came out, sorry if the question is weird tho =w=

Also I really enjoy your art! x3

OOOOOHHHHHH you done got my brainworms acting up again! Also im glad you enjoy my art lol >v< Strap in cause this is gonna be a LOOOONG post! OK SO! Here's how it would go: Paul would be traveling around, searching for pokemon with strong EVs and IVs (yknow, the usual) and like all similar trips he would check in. Paul and Reggie would usually check in like once a week when paul would reach a pokemon center, but Paul hadn't been near one in a while so he thought Reggie would call him on the phone today.

It's been quite a while since Reggie called him (he didn't realise that it was that long) So he tries to call Reggie back. It rings, no answer. He tries again, still nothing. Paul's a little confused but shrugs it off, thinking that his brother is just busy or something and that he'll call him back. So his journey continues, walking along different routes and catching some promising pokemon, but his mind would always wander back to his phone. He eventually reaches a pokemon center and tries to call Reggie that way, and he STILL doesn't pick up. His guts churn a little in concern, Reggie isn't one to forget things like this as he's gotten on Paul's ass about checking in more than once. Paul tries not to worry and think logically as he eventually boards the plane back to Sinnoh. Maybe Reggie is just really busy this time around and forgot to turn his ringer on. Maybe Reggie's phone broke somehow. Maybe Reggie just doesn't want to call him.

Paul sighs to himself, maybe he was just overreacting and his brother was just abscent-minded about the whole thing. He then heads back to Veilstone City with a little pep in his step, thinking of ways snark on his brother about the whole calling thing. Paul would climb the small steps to the porch of their home and he opens the door, ready to yell to his brother in the home. Only...

The house was absolutely trashed. Paul could not believe what he was seeing. There's no way that the house was- He drags his feet along the dirtied floor, furniture was knocked over, many dishes were either left in the sink or strewn about the floor in pieces. He looked out into the backyard- Where was all the pokemon Reggie was raising? It was like someone... someone broke in and- Paul could feel his heart start to race as his trudge turns into a brisk pace as he goes through the entirety of the house. Calling out to his brother as he tried to keep his voice steady. "Reggie? Reggie! Where are you?"

The bathroom. His Room. Reggie's Room. The Kitchen. The Living Room- The Living Room? Paul stopped. Then raced towards his backpack to get his phone in a frenzy and called the police. The Living Room floor was covered in blood.

After the police arrived, Paul went into autopilot, more out of shock if anything. The officers asked him different questions he didn't care to remember, and it was only when a familiar voice piped through the crowd. "Paul? Boy, are you alright?" Paul looks up from the ground to see a broad green suit right in front of him. "...Brandon?" He asks hesitantly. After that day, Brandon took Paul in as Paul couldn't stay at the Tobari house anymore (with it being a crime scene and paul can't pay mortgages off). Arceus, Brandon worried that the police would make Paul a ward of the state but was relieved to know that Reggie put Brandon down as a surrogate guardian to Paul. (my little head canon don't worry bout it ;P).

Paul seemed to completely close himself up, seemingly not wanting to believe that Reggie was now a missing person. He doesn't sleep much, doesn't eat much, and seems to get annoyed or angry at every little thing now. Brandon worries about him.

Paul doesn't want to talk about what happened at all, for he is angry at the world for taking away his big brother. Paul thinks that if he ignores the problem, that it'll go away andReggiewillcomebackand saysorryforleavinghimbehindandPaulcouldsaysorryfor-. But, as feelings do, his emotions reach a boiling point.

It was supposed to be a 'meh' day, Paul didn't know why Brandon tried to confront him about his self-destruction coping mechanisms. Things got heated, and Paul snapped back at him in a visceral rage.

"Why do you care, of all people?!" "So what if he's gone?! It's not like I care! It's not like he cared!" "It's pathetic of him to go missing like that! He had competent pokemon to protect him!" "How did no one notice the house was trashed until then?! Did nobody care to check?!" "Why didn't you check on him?!"

Paul went on his tirade for Arc knows how long, letting all his frustrations out in the open. He probably didn't know the magnitude of what he was saying, nor did he care. His tantrum continued on until he was out of breath. He was never like this, being this emotional, and Brandon just stood there with a knowing expression.

"So what if I wasn't there for him?! So what if he's hurt somewhere?! So what if I-"

"If- If I wasn't-"

"If I wasn't a good enough brother to him...?"

Paul hangs his head low, his figure lightly shaking as tears fell from his cheeks. He just uttered the thing that has been eating at him for weeks. How pathetic he is, saying that in the open, to Brandon of all people. He expects Brandon to reprimand him for saying those horrible things, what he doesn't expect is arms wraping around him in comfort. Paul stiffens and looks up hesitantly, that knowing sad look still on the elder's face. No matter how mature Paul acts or how grown up and knowing he thinks he is.

He's still a little kid.

For Brandon, it eats away at him to see Paul like this. Brandon and the rest of the frontier brains went through something similar.

When Anabel dissapeared.

For Paul to be going through this as he is... Arceus... He'd never dream of it. And yet, here they are.

They stay like that for several minutes before moving to the couch. They sit in silence before Paul whispers a quiet "m'sorry..." "For what?" Brandon answers, A Pause.

"...for sayin' those things t' you... you didn' deserve that.." He moves his head up slowly, eyes red rimmed from tears. "That was pathetic of me to do.. m'sorry."

"Don't worry about it, boy... I'm just glad you're lettin' it out now." Brandon cracks a small smile to him. "We'll get through this, you and I, so don't worry about it." . HOLY FUCK that was long, I basically made a psudo-fanfic right here lmfao. So yeah hope you enjoy!!

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Ok imagine.

Reader is a hybrid like the students of Savanaclaw but they are a mouse hybrid! And one day one of their friends post on magicam a photo of them and poof! Now they're the person with the most compliments in the comments of magicam! Vil obviously wouldn't like that so they send Rook to take care of this annoying rat, but how could Rook hurting something so cute and unable to defend themselves!

(Is this a request for a yandere rook x reader in case requests are open? Yes.)

One of these days, I'll be forced to admit I'm slowly but surely becoming attracted to Rook Hunt. Not today, though.

>Part 1< | Part 2 | Part 3

Warnning(s): yandere Rook, kidnapping(?), you almost get shot

"(Y/N), c'mon! Just lemme get a quick picture of us together for magicam!" Your friend insisted.

"Fine, I guess." You sighed.

Oh boy, that cute little magicam photo was about to ruin your life.

"What...?" Vil said in disbelief, staring down at his phone. He was not the most popular person currently on magicam,not even Neige was! No, the most popular person on magicam was... some nobody!

The picture had two people, but the comments were only really focusing on one, a mouse beastman wearing a cute outfit.

"...Rook...!" Vil began, seething with anger.

"Oui, Vil?"

"I need you to do something for me." Vil looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel. "I need you to take care of this pathetic little mouse."

Rook looked at the image on Vil's phone, he got a good look at you, making sure he remembered every aspect of detail on your face.

"I shall bring you their ears, Vil."

"No, no, don't do that, the ears don't matter, I want you to scar their face. Scar their face so badly they'll never want to post their face to magicam ever again."

"Entendu, Vil."

Rook nocked an arrow, drawing his bowstring as he looked at you. He knew exactly how he would hit you to fulfil Vil's orders- right across the eyes. A scar such as that would prevent you from seeing anymore, though allow the beauty of your face to be preserved.

He would complete Vil's order of preventing you from ever posting to magicam again, while still working on his own terms of not damaging your beauty.

But just as Rook was about to fire off the arrow, he saw something.

One of the much stronger, much more intimidating, much taller Savannaclaw students bumped into you. And you fell over onto the ground.

"My, my, qu'est-ce que ç'est...?" Rook said, intrigued as to what would happen.

Knowing the reputation of Savannaclaw students, Rook expected to watch you be screamed at by the much taller beastman, but to his surprise...

"Who do you think you are?! Running into me like that- Oh! (Y/N)! Didn't realize it was you, sorry."

"It's fine! If anything, it's my fault for just standing here like this! And I probably should've noticed you coming towards me!"

"Well, uh, you ok? I'll help you up."

"I'm fine. And thank you!"

Rook couldn't believe his eyes. In that one instant, his entire perception of you changed. How could he hurt something like you, so cute and defenseless?

A beauty such as you is not suited for Savannaclaw. Despite being a beastman, you would fit much better in Pomefiore, like him.

In a single second, Rook set a plan in his mind. One that he would not change his mind on.

As you were apologizing and talking with your dorm mate, you suddenly heard someone.

"Excusez-moi, souris!" You turned to see who it was... and you saw Pomefiore's vice Housewarden, Rook Hunt, much too close for comfort. "Hello, hello! How do you do? Pleasure to meet you, and allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rook Hunt, and I am here representing my Housewarden, Vil Schoenheit, he has important business with you."

"He... he does...?" You asked.

"Bien sûr que oui!" Rook responded, grabbing your hand. "Come with me, I shall escort you to him personally!"

Without you being able to protest, Rook began to drag you along with him.

Rook dragged you all the way to Pomefiore, and boy oh boy Vil looked indescribably enraged when he saw you.

"Rook. What is the meaning of this...?" Vil asked through a forced smile and gritted teeth.

"Now now, Roi du Poison! I know you have your personal gripes with the belle souris, but please consider this! If the two of you... collaborate, so to say, then you two together will be the most beautiful on all of magicam!"

"Rook, what are you talking about?!" Vil asked in frustration.

"Alternatively... if you allow le petit souris here to transfer from Savannaclaw to Pomefiore, then..." Rook chuckled to himself, and whispered something to Vil, who's face lit up at whatever Rook had said.

"Ahem! I'm ever so sorry, little mouse-spud, it seems we got off on the wrong foot!" Vil said to you, a less forced-looking smile upon his face. "I have considered what I've been told, and I believe that you would make a wonderful addition to Pomefiore! We shall begin discussing this with the Headmage tomorrow."

"B-but I don't-"

"Hush, hush, little one." Rook covered your mouth. "Pomefiore is a dorm of beauty. You will fit in here better than you ever did in Savannaclaw. Truly, this is what's best for you."

Rook had figured out a way to give Vil what he wants without harming you, and a way to get what he wants without bothering Vil.

You would transfer to Pomefiore, and be kept under constant surveillance by Rook. Vil saw this as the perfect opportunity to make sure you never show your face online again, and Rook wanted to protect you from every horrible thing in the world that was a threat to you and your beauty, which included Vil and those Savannaclaw brutes.

This is the best solution for Rook and Vil.

However, your life would never be the same afterwards.