#I'm sorry I just thought this was general knowledge and normal use

[amalasdraws]

Just found too many people not knowing what tea lights are for and what a teapot warmer is and now I'm having a crisis

[obae-me]

I am so sad that I'm not a Solomon fucker, because if I was, I would have actually cared about the Bon Voyage event. It's kind of cute, but I am very apathetic towards good old Sol. What are your thoughts on it?

Sorry for getting to this late! I wanted to actually complete the event before I responded, and I got to it very last minute! (Since I have low-key kind of hated the events lately. I hate spending 2-6 minutes doing the songs only for five lines of text as a reward, it's almost painful, but anyways...)

Now, Solomon as a character, I love. I was very meh towards him in the original Shall We Date, but they really started working on his character towards the end, and in Nightbringer they really pulled it home! Now I love Solomon! Before, he was just kind of some sketchy little sorcerer that they usually brought in to help solve plot devices- and don't get me wrong, he's still like that, but we definitely get a deeper look into *why*.

He's an immortal human whose desire for power and knowledge was so great, he somehow went head on with nearly the entire Devildom, convinced Barbatos to make a pact with him, and then made Barbatos show him every experience he could, at least, that's what I remember from the lore dropped thus far. And what do you usually get when you get a human that knows and sees too much? A broken human. A human who feels like there is no purpose left. A human with mixed morals and a shattered ego.

Now, this part is just my own personal thoughts and theories, but Thirteen talks about how Solomon's soul used to be beautiful like MC's, but then it became ruined. I imagine it's because he 'flew to close to the sun' and it nearly broke him. MC has hope, has love, has so much to learn still, so much to give. I imagine when Solomon learned and saw everything he could, he had hardly any hope left. Nothing was new to him anymore. He spent so much of his life seeking knowledge, and once he finally got it all...what was left? It corrupted him, surely. But then, clearly, somewhere along the line, his new purpose was to protect and stand for the human realm. Then his dealings with demons began.

The game always talks about how Solomon is now closer to a demon than a human. But I think that's because he *had* to "become" a demon. He has so many pacts, had so many exchanges with the Devildom, he had to learn how to survive amongst them. The way he withholds key information until the crucial moments. The way his "accidents" always seem to line up in his favor. The way his generous actions typically end up satisfying something of his as well. Exactly what a demon does. Exactly what someone would learn spending so much time around demons. I mean, that's exactly what MC learns how to do throughout the entire game! Play it smart, do whatever you can to earn the Brother's favors, and get their pacts. And then when MC throws that concept out the window and does things just to be selfless and then gets their pacts anyway? It almost breaks the "law" of the world that Solomon has come to know.

I'd like to think that maybe that's the reason why Solomon was sent to live with Simeon and Luke in Shall We Date. He needed to learn how to be around other beings, and maybe being around angels could correct some of that.

Now, about the event, the event was actually pretty cute. And while I have my general complaints about the events being very short and shallow, this one wasn't the worst of the bunch. Solomon getting some of the demon brothers together to give you a really nice dream is such a cute thing to do (even if he went behind your back to cast a spell on you). And also I'm not sure if it was stated specifically, but I'm like 98% sure MC and Solomon shared a bed at the end there, which is really adorable. I love sleepy bed cuddles.

This kind of ties back to my insights into his character, where he's spent so long being around demons that he's not really sure how to be a normal human anymore. He spends so much of his time planning and prepping how to do something for you when all he really needed to do was ask. All he wanted was a cute little date and to watch the sunset with MC and went through like a 100 step plan just to get it. And MC's little options to scold him for his schemes is really adorable in my opinion. Essentially it boiled down to them just saying "just ask next time, you idiot!". And Solomon being one of the smartest characters in the game being so lost and confused in terms of relationships and romance is really...very cute, which is why I think I like the concept of his character so much. I love when super overpowered characters have weaknesses like this, or learning new lessons.

I also loved the concept of just Lucifer, Asmo, Luke, Belphie, and Satan all just really hamming it up for MC. They preformed for them all just as a little thank you, and when they clarified, it wasn't really for anything huge. Shopping, helping them with decisions, just spending time with them, that was enough to fully convince them to pick up this dream-world-improv. Which...is really sweet.

Man I love these boys.

[aether-bun]

Hey, not sure if you’re doing the whole ‘Emoji Anons’ thing, but if ya are, I’d like to claim 🐉 Anon. Anyways, on with the request.

Could I get a platonic comfort for Pokémon Kieran with a reader who is like a really strong Pokémon Trainer and like his older sibling? Like, the reader is Champion level strong. Maybe the Champion of the Alola region? They recently heard from Carmine (since Kieran canonically doesn’t have a phone.) about what happened at Kitakami and how Kieran is extremely upset, so the reader goes to visit Kieran at Blueberry Academy to try and cheer him up. Because honestly, this kid needs a hug, badly.

You can ignore if ya want, but this is just a thought.

-🐉 Anon

The Boy Who Felt He Couldn't

Shadow (noun):

"A shaded or darker portion; an imperfect and faint representation."

❗: Reader is not referred to with any gendered terms, but is the eldest sibling of Carmine and Kieran. This fic is purely platonic and takes place after the Teal Mask DLC for Pokemon Scarlet/Violet.

[author's note at the end!]

Alola was a temperate, calm, and quite scenic region. It held diverse pokemon, beautiful agriculture, and best of all, it had one of the strongest champions in the world.

That was you. Quite modestly, you never really used that knowledge for your own gain, but on Alola you didn't need to. Mind, you lived there, so eventually over time the people grew to treat you normally again. This settlement meant you weren't forced to be a beacon - You could just be you.

Paldea did not offer this luxury.

Home to ancient ruins and terrifying legends, Paldea was a region of freedom, to an extent. It had every landscape a student could dream of, it had deserts adjacent to snowy hills with springs and forestry between. It was beautiful.

This beauty was very hard to see over the heads of the giant bustling crowd that had apparently come to see you. You didn't know how they knew you'd be there, but oh boy, apparently word got around.

You shook hands, signed pokeballs, and went over the usual speech of how great it was to see your supporters, before managing to shimmy your way out of the hustle and bustle of the aspiring trainers, reporters, and fans.

Unfortunately, you weren't there for any sightseeing or meetups, though you did make a mental note to at least book a tour of the region later. Right now, you were here for family.

Specifically, a little boy named Kieran. Your younger brother. According to your sister Carmine, he'd been incredibly upset, and if her story was true, you could honestly understand why.

It wasn't every day that the ancient pokemon that travelled with your bloodline for generations rejected you for some new star student. You figured you'd be pretty upset too, if you were him.

Kieran was unfortunately cursed with misfortune. Every time he tried to help himself to his goals, it always somehow managed to backfire. His Pokemon journey was not unlike the start of your own, but it was much worse than yours.

You knocked cautiously on his door. It was quiet. A small note on the door had the words 'KEEP OUT', but the writing had smudged, and there were blots of tears causing the ink to bleed. You could make it out, though. It hurt your heart.

"Kieran? C'mon, buddy, it's me.." You tried, cautious.

Immediately you heard rapid footsteps. The lock fidgeted wildly, until finally the door snapped open, revealing the disbelieving face of your brother. He looked at you for a long moment, eyes wide in disbelief.

"...[Y/N]?"

"Hey kid. I'm so sor–"

Kieran's arms were around you instantly, and he was squeezing you as tight as he could. You could hear his breaths stuttering, you could feel him trying not to stain your shirt with tears, so you simply readjusted, kneeling down and swallowing his shaking body in a warm embrace.

He sniffled into your shoulder, and you gently rubbed his back. "I'm sorry everything went so badly for you, Kieran." You said, soft, hoping to introduce the subject in a way that wouldn't antagonise him (something your sister was not very good at), and judging by the way he leaned into you further, you figured it was working.

-•-•-•-

Eventually, after many minutes of angry exclamations and scrambled words, Kieran calmed down. It was a process, getting him to breathe and recenter, but he always felt calmer with you, so the process wasn't too long. Not that you minded.

Kieran retold his story; His struggles with his own frustration, his exasperation towards Ogerpon's continuous dismissal, and he even admitted his own faults with his lashing out and sabotage attempts.

It felt easier to talk about these things with you. You never sighed and waved him off, never chalked any of his problems up to being a fault of his own. You listened. You spoke when he wanted you to, and you eased him into some advice that he tried to then take on for himself. This time was no different.

"Why did you feel the need to fight them, Kieran?" Your voice was still calm.

"I just...I tried everything to make Ogerpon feel welcomed! I catered to her needs, I did what ever I could to make her like me and nothing worked! I was so...so..."

"...Jealous?"

Kieran's silence meant he knew the answer was yes. You pursed your lips and sighed.

"Did you apologise?"

Again, he was silent. You were almost about to lecture him on the importance of admitting his faults, but then he managed to force out a small admission.

"I did." His tone was off, but you tried not to think too much of it.

You smiled sadly at him, bringing him close to lean on your shoulder. "I'm glad you said something, at least." You felt him tense a little, which unnerved you.

Then, in an effort to relax him, you noticed the way his hair looked.

"What's with this, huh? You never have your hair up..."

Kieran huffed. He didn't even appear to hear you through his own mental train of thought.

"I need to show that Trainer I can do more than just lose."

This made you stop and look at him. What?

"Kieran..."

"I need to show them I'm capable of winning. That I can be the star, too."

You frowned. This wasn't good.

"Kieran."

"You don't get it!" He snapped, shoulders tense as you fell quiet. "Ever since you started your journey, you've had good pokemon, good people! You're one of the strongest trainers in the world! No one treats you like a kid!

I need to show everyone that I'm able to be strong. Stronger than them. Stronger than anyone they've ever seen! Stronger than you!"

His voice cracked and broke. He looked so...angry. You couldn't let this go on.

"Kieran." You put a hand on his, and he seemed to come back to reality. He looked at you with wide, remorseful eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows, concerned.

"I-I'm...I'm sorry." Kieran mumbled, looking back down at his lap.

You knew where an attitude like that often lead people. It lead some of your friends down windy, dangerous roads. It created villains out of pure, innocent people. It created evil.

You very quickly decided you wouldn't let that happen to your baby brother.

Taking his hand again, you squeezed it. He looked up at you and met your worried eyes with poorly hidden fear.

"[Y/N]...?"

"Kieran...Your resolve is very important. Your will to do the right thing has always been one of my favourite parts about you. Your love for pokemon, your justice, it's all so important to me," You said. He looked away again, so you gently nudged him, and he very barely met your gaze again.

"I will not stand by and watch you tear yourself up. I don't want you going down a path you can't come back from."

"[Y/N]...I-"

"It's okay. I'm not going to make it a big deal. But...I am taking you to therapy." You chuckled, though you weren't joking. Kieran seemed to immediately deflate.

"It's not because you're messed up, or wrong, so don't you dare think that," You said, catching onto his thought process. "It's to help you regulate your emotions. I can be there with you, if you want me to, but I want you to try it out at least."

There was a long pause between you. You were still holding his hand, though your grip had eased enough for him to let go if he wanted to. He didn't.

After an eternity of silence, he slowly nodded. You mentally breathed a sigh of relief and smiled a little at him. "Thank you, Kieran." You said, watching him try to smile back a little. He was so tired. You stayed with him the rest of the afternoon, and at some point, he'd fallen asleep. The bags under his eyes suggested he hadn't slept enough recently, so you managed to get yourself comfortable and let him rest.

The process of undoing all of his emotional issues would take a very long time. It would be strenuous and taxing and he'd reach times where he felt it wasn't worth it.

But every Thursday, after he'd finished his sessions with a lovely therapist you happened to know in the region, you'd give him a signature bear hug, and you'd talk about whatever was on your minds.

Eventually, you did have to go back home to Alola, but when you left, you made sure he was in good hands. You made sure Carmine was aware of how to go about talking to him. You made sure he had people he could fall back on.

Even when you weren't there, you made sure he knew you were still around if he needed you. You gave him a Rotom Phone of his own, one that he positively beamed at from the patterns on the case, and made sure he knew to call you whenever he felt like it.

Every Thursday, he was reminded that you were there.

Every Monday, you called him and checked in.

And after a while, he realised something very elating: That with you and Carmine and his new friends he'd managed to make, it was going to be okay for him now.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Full disclosure, I never actually got around to playing the new DLCs, but as an older brother myself, watching a playthrough of it made me so sad for this little kid man :(

🐉Anon thank you SO MUCH for this request!!!! This is officially the first request I've done and I'd like to think I did a fairly good job on it! I'd like to think the endgame for this fic would be that we don't have to worry about the threat of Kieran entering a Syndrome arc sobs

Leave your requests in my inbox!! Thank you for reading, and ciao for now ♡

[fullofgutsndopamine]

Homesick For You (And I Don’t Know Why)

or: d&d first date au

tw:cursing, first date, use of his real name

charlie rocks back and fourth on his heels, cranes his neck in a desolate parking lot and checks his watch for the fourth time.

He's early. this is normal-and you had just texted that you had left, a thirty minute drive for you, but still-he's nervous naturally.

he's had his handful of bad dates before-probably more bad than good-

and you seem great so far; can keep a conversation going, a good sense of humor but fuck he's thought that before about others too.

A tiny car he can't place the name of pulls into the parking lot, a heavy bass comes out of it and he bites the inside of his lip to keep from smiling.

He recognizes your profile immediately, even through tinted windows and the half blurry photos from your dating profile.

He gives you a second to get out of the car, not to seem to eager or anything like that-and his phone vibrates in his hand

you're slowly getting out of your car, your hands shaking as you type out a text to him:

hey charlie! it's-

no no-you backspace-that seems too excited for it

"Hey stranger!"

You jump at the sound of the voice you've only known from phone calls lately.

he comes to your side. there’s an awkward beat for two seconds before he speaks:

"So," he has to physically stop himself from his teeth chattering, all nerves, "Have you played before?"

you blow air out of your lips:

"define play."

he laughs: "i'll take it-"

"I mean like," you're talking over him, so nervous, "Like, with the people i went to high school with. But like, it was super casual-"

he's nodding, holding the door for you as you walk in and you wait in the threshold for him, his hand on the small of your back as he leads you in.

The bar is empty, just you two as you both slide into chairs next to one another, and immediately he's talking. it's more rambling, about his knowledge (or lack thereof) of IPAs, and alcohol in general and "Fuck, I'm gonna freeze and just point, i know it'"

Time moves fast, and before you know it, you're sliding into a chair next to Charlie, knees knocking together. Plans were last second; you hold a character sheet on a dimming phone as you crane your neck to check Charlie's out.

He was kind the entire time, his knees knocking into yours as he's over your shoulder, pointing and offering characters ("No, like. A Monk with religious guilt is a good idea-" or "No, I think if your bard played a flute badly that would arguably make it funnier.")

The game continues and his hand hovers over yours, slowly handing you dice, asking for you to shake it before he rolls it-at first you think it's a bad pick-up line, but when he rolls his second one of the game well-you have to help him when you can.

Charlie sighs dramatically and you expect the worst, something along the lines of: this is the worst date i've ever been on or it's embarrassing how this was your idea of a first date-

instead, he leans back in his seat, the front of the chairs leave the floor, are airborne when he speaks:

"You'll have to throw me."

If it wasn't for the smirk, it would be hard to place he's kidding by the straight face.

"I'm sorry," You're laughing, shaking your head, "I what?!”

He shakes his head, sighing, but the smirk remains:

"Throw me. You're going to have to chuck me at the monster."

"Oh," You're nodding, "I see, you have a death wish."

And finally he's laughing and it's nice- high pitched and loud, but it rips through him, the corner of his eyes squinting as he's clearly happy-it's nice, you find yourself wanting to make him laugh again,

"Look," he's ticking reasons off his fingers, "I'm small, right?"

"I-"

"And!" The second figure comes up, his other hand covers over your finger with a smirk before he can overthink it, "I can land on his head and poke his eyes out..

He pauses, shrugs and waves his hand in the air,

"Or something. Whatever."

And you're laughing again, his hand still on yours, neither of you making the move to move one another's-

"Or whatever," You laugh, "Charlie, you have a death wish.”

He laughs, holding his hands in the air, "Alright, I have a second character made, you caught me."

"You're serious," You're speaking low like it's a secret, your face close enough to him you can smell the liquor on his breath, see the beauty marks that liter and line his face-physically stopping yourself from reaching out and tracing the constellation on his face, "You want me to?"

He leans in: "It would be my honor."

His hand laces into yours under the table, and he's side eyeing you, like he isn't sure this is alright, this is a good first move, but when you're hand squeezes his back, he settles back in with a content look.

Charlie resists the urge to grab either side of your face, pull you close when you successfully chuck him on top of the undead monster, instead pumping his fist in the air-the game pauses there, members needing to leave, needing drink refills, it slowly gets quiet.

"Well," He sighs looking at you, "Who would've thought the big bad guy would be attracted to fire instead of being afraid of it?"

He's teasing, and you're laughing easily.

Your hand is still tangled in his, the pad of his thumb slowly draws circles around your hand, easy looping around again and again, some comfortable movement he does as he listens to you talk.

"I had fun," he says gently, "This might be the best first date l've ever been on."

"Well," You're smiling widely, "you're easy to impress."

"Maybe," he shrugs, "Maybe we could do this again?"

The pad of his thumb is calloused as it runs over the top of your hand and you're thinking how you could get use to this:

"Yeah," playing it cool long gone, "It's a date."

[olderthannetfic]

A hanfu isn't just a robe, though. It's a specific type of traditional outfit that has even more specific variations, and while you could describe it more specifically (e.g. she put on her red ruqun, with a pleated horse-face skirt), it isn't always relevant. I've never seen anyone bring this up for, say, kimonos, and I don't think the GOT comparison is fair, either. It'd be more like "he puts on his armour". What type of armour—lamellar, chainmail, heavy, leather? It doesn't always matter. 1/2

--

2/2. Putting down a category of traditional clothing as "meta terminology" also rather irritates me. Again, looking at kimonos. Perhaps it's unfamiliar because CN fashion isn't as widespread as JP, but it's literally just what the broad category of clothing is called, and within the context of danmei fandoms, it shouldn't be unfamiliar knowledge. Trying to Americanize everything by simply calling everything a 'robe' loses the point entirely and is the equivalent of really terrible translation. Sorry, one more thing. When I picture a "robe", I think of wizards. DND. Bathrobes. None of which bear any similarity to a hanfu, and unless you want to describe "a parted robe made of flowing Yun brocade with loose sleeves that wraps around the body, with a wide collar that has its right lapel crossed over its left, tied at the waist with a belt, with a jade pendant weighing down the long skirt" every single time it's brought up, I'm pretty sure "hanfu" is a more accurate descriptor by far.

Uh... anon...

1.

'Robe' is an extremely vague term that absolutely is used for all sorts of garments from all over the world.

The fact that you associate it with a tiny fraction of its conventional meanings isn't going to change how other people use it.

2.

I am indeed more familiar with kimono than hanfu, but I thought the other people did make explicit what their issue is, and it exists for Japan too.

Depending on when your canon is set (or its vague, handwave-y apparent time period for more fantasy canons), the word may not have been in use yet.

'Kimono' as a word is possibly as recent as the 19th Century, though I see one etymological dictionary saying 1630s. Prior to the 19thC, a lot of things we would now call 'kimono' were known as 'kosode'. The further back you go, the more other terms there are and the more the distinctions matter.

I'm personally a fan of fiction set in the Heian period, and they would absolutely not have been calling anything a "kimono" then, nor do the robes look like modern kimono.

Furthermore, a generic-ass word like 'wear on upper body'+'thing' doesn't get its modern interpretation until it has significant competition from Western clothing. Today, it has a relatively narrow range of interpretations based on the calcified form of traditional Japanese clothing that still hangs on.

It's an absurd affectation to insist on calling all ancient Japanese clothing 'kimono'.

That wouldn't be de-Americanizing your writing.

That would be "According to keikaku".

--

From what I've seen in other people's meta posts about Chinese fandoms, the reason people object to 'hanfu' in fic is that this word has gained a lot of popularity in very recent history as part of the hanfu revival movement.

While it existed before that, it wasn't used so consistently, and it mainly turned up in contexts talking about Chinese as opposed to foreign clothing. It doesn't seem to have been a general term used like "So-and-so put on his completely normal outfit to get ready for the day".

People are using it (outside of fic) to talk about a specific range of historically accurate Chinese clothing. It doesn't cover everything, and in the modern and highly gatekept usage, it specifically doesn't cover historically-inspired fantasy costumes like those on The Untamed.

If you're Chinese and you feel it should cover those, fair enough, but that isn't what a lot of the hanfu education blogs have been saying.

People aren't pulling this out of their asses out of a desire to be American. They're getting it from hanfu blogs asking them not to use the word like that.

If you think those blogs are wrong, please say that.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

this is kind of a vent and a bit of a silly rambled story (ooo story time! but feel free to ignore it if you want it wont bother me)

so i have been researching autism and adhd for roughly a year and a half now and its kinda become a special interest of mine (wild i know lmao) and its actually how i got my adhd diangosis! funnily enough the therapist who diagnosed me for adhd and evaluated me for asd was biased and had no knowledge about adhd or autism... :-] pained smile

(im afab and my sibling is amab and the comparisons between our assesments is insane. they got assesed easily but for me, the therapist was reluctant and judgemental. a great start i know /sarc)

anyway the therapist told me that i couldnt be autistic because even though i scored high, the test my PARENTS filled out for my childhood was very low. i wasnt even asked about my childhood experiences when it came back with a low score. i was just brushed off and told that it was only my adhd and that if i WAS autistic (which im not, according to her) that i would be "high functioning" and that "high functioning" people arent actually autistic. not word for word because i was half listening in shock but the general idea is still there. i have no clue how i even went to this woman tbh.

i have since made a list and included evidence for all the traits ive had since infancy but my parents 100% took the therapists word and are now completely convinced that there is zero chance that i can be on the autism spectrum. fun fact i think theyre both on the spectrum as well and ive talked to my sibling about it too. its wild lol

the thing is i keep going back and forth between denial and acceptance thinking i may be on the spectrum and ive had plenty of friends both professionally and self diagnosed tell me that i am on the spectrum but i cant help but accidentally find ways to invalidate myself and my experiences. i dont know if its worth it to get a professional diagnosis or to just exist as self diagnosed because they both have strong pros and cons. its all very confusing but i can wait 2 years until im a legal adult so i can at least try to get an assesment from a therapist who actually understands autism

i apologize for being so long winded and for any gramatical/spelling errors but i just wanted to thank you for making this blog in general. it feels very validating despite what other people and my negative thoughts try to say about my brain :-] i hope youre doing well !!

'"high functioning" people arent actually autistic'

UGH I hate that so much. I'm not really a fan of the the terms 'high functioning' and 'low functioning' anyway because it doesn't cover how autistic people can be really good at some things and struggle a lot with other things (also known as having a 'spiky profile') and just 'high' or 'low' doesn't properly take that into account, and then there's the whole questionable use of 'functioning' but that's a whole other discussion....

I'm sorry your parents aren't listening. Since autism can be genetic, it's fairly likely they are also on the spectrum and never noticed the traits when you were growing up because it all seemed normal to them.

It's a very personal decision whether or not to try for an official diagnosis, but whatever you decide is valid! The important thing is gaining self-acceptance and learning what works for you. Good luck and I'm so glad you're enjoying this blog :)

[windvexer]

heyyy heyyy Chicken, hope ya doin all good out there in the woods and in the worlds, vertically and laterally! so! another anonymous question time.

suppose one finds that they cant clair-this-or-that, they dont gets them visions or signs or shivers. like they be deaf or blind or incapable of any imaginations. like what they say? no internal dialogue something. inner twilight and darkness.

cant go to magical otolaryngologist or oculist (almost written occultist haha) because there is none.

what to do to unlock? how to?

Hi! I'm not sure if I understand you. It seems to me like you're discussing a wide range of things which I don't always believe are correlated to one another.

Aphantasia isn't, as far as I'm aware, the same thing as having no internal dialogue. Psychism isn't the same as receiving signs, and while may be related to intuition, isn't the same thing; people can have visions without having psychism or intuitive experiences.

You are incorrect to say that there are no magical otolarynologists or oculists. Practitioners who are able to diagnose and heal spiritual maladies do exist, and good ones aren't so hard to find as we may imagine.

However, just because someone doesn't receive visions/signs/psychic input/intuition, doesn't mean that anything is actually wrong.

An example is someone who doesn't exercise and can't lift a 100lb weight going to a doctor to be diagnosed for their lack of ability. There is no medical issue. There is no reason to suspect a medical issue.

The problem with a lot of common exercises, spells, etc., is that they are predicated on the idea that everyone is able to experience thoughts visually and linguistically.

I'm generally set on the idea that however a person normally experiences their own thoughts and processes the world around them is also how they should go about connecting with magic and psychism and so forth.

Being a visual thinker doesn't give people the ability to be psychic, you know?

A while ago I got frustrated with the ubiquitous use of "visualization" as a term in spells and exercises and replaced it with what I called OBFUK (observe, believe, feel, understand, or know). To me, this helped me understand the purpose of "visualization," because the way it's commonly used, I really don't think it's that much about imagining pictures.

In general, I believe that when most people talk about visualization, they're talking about some mish-mash of aligning intent towards purpose and then focusing on that real hard.

I'm re-reading Weaving Fate by Aidan Wachter and one thing I like about this book is that he focuses on the idea that during the mindspace exercise, you really don't have to see or feel anything. It's suffice to tell yourself, "I'm walking down the stairs. I enter into a corridor. I walk until I find a special door."

How would a person experience psychism and spiritual knowledge if they don't have inner dialogue or visual thoughts? Well, quite the same way they already experience their thoughts, I imagine.

Since you've brought up a ton of various things in your ask, I'm not sure if there's any way for me to say "here's how to unlock." Not that there's any one-size-fits-all program anyway. Sorry if I've understood your meaning.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Five dating someone who's insomnia is always kicking their ass so he pops up at night to make sure they're in bed and asleep and when he sees they arent he lovingly threatens them to go to bed lmao

He would so do that too I love him sm I swear

Late Bedtime (Five Hargreeves x reader)

Warnings: reader suffers from insomnia, swearing, references to assasin! Five, slight sexual innuendo, slight angst maybe I guess?? Idk, better safe than sorry

It was late at night, and you were curled up on the couch flipping through the channels to see what was on the television. There wasn't much worth watching, just infomercials and reruns of old sitcoms. Sighing, you settled on some random trashy reality show as you wrapped your blanket tigheter around you.

"Darling, why are you still up? You're supposed to be in bed," you heard a voice suddenly ask.

Normally, a random voice talking to you in the middle of the night would have given you cause for concern and understandably freaked you out, but you knew your boyfriend well enough at this point to know he didn't care too much about using doors. You'd tried to introduce him to the concept of knocking before in the past, but after awhile you figured it wasn't worth the fight and gave up.

"Couldn't sleep," you replied, turning to face him. He was in his usual Umbrella Academy uniform, one that you often teased him for, saying that he looked like he went to a private school for rich kids. He detested it, though he agreed you weren't far off the mark. "What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd pop in to make sure you were asleep, which you clearly are not," he said accusingly, narrowing his eyes at you.

"I told you already, I'm not tired," you said, the ending of your sentence cut off by a sudden yawn.

He raised his eyebrows at you in an "I told you so" fashion.

"Alright, that's it. Bed, now."

"But Fiveee," you whined.

"No buts. Now, go get ready for bed, unless you want me to use some of my knowledge in disabling targets to get you there."

You gasped mockingly. "Five, are you threatening me? Your loving partner, who would do anything for you?"

He smirked. "Isn't it obvious?"

You put your hand over your heart, and began to fake cry for good measure. "How could you? Just when you think you know a person."

"I used to kill people for a living. It's pretty naive of you to think I wouldn't threaten you with acts of physical violence just to get you in bed."

Perking up, you gave him a knowing look. "Oh, so you're trying to get me in bed now, are you? In what ways?"

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Okay, look, first off, you know that's not what I meant, and second, I'm just trying to make sure you don't wake up tomorrow morning utterly sleep deprived."

"You wake up every morning utterly sleep deprived, so I really don't see what the big deal is here. In fact, I'm quite certain you've never actually gotten a full night's worth of sleep before, have you?"

You questioned him with such certainty because you knew it was true. Five did as well, even if he didn't want to admit it.

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, knowing he'd been beat. "That's... not the point. If you don't go to bed soon, you're not going to get enough sleep, which means you're going to be really pissy when you wake up; and I, for one, hate when that happens, so would you please just go to bed?"

The last part came out as less of a question and more of a plea, which caused you to realize that, as much as he loved staying up late with you, trash talking his family and drinking coffee as the sun came up, he valued your mental health and stability more.

Obviously, it wouldn't do anything to help his agenda in stopping the apocalypse and saving the world if you were constantly dozing off from lack of sleep; but more than that, he cared. He cared about your general wellbeing, far more than you ever did. It wouldn't do you any good in the long run if he let this behavior continue, and he knew that.

You knew that too, as much as you hated to admit it. Which is why you gave in to his requests, surprising him in the process.

"Okay, fine."

He appeared to be in shock, as it took him a couple minutes to process what you'd said and a few more to actually respond. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said fine. It's over, Hargreeves; you win," you said, throwing your hands up in defeat. "I guess I'll just go to bed, like you wanted."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at you. "That's it? You're not going to protest anymore, or give me a hard time?"

"Yup."

"You're going to go to bed, just like that?"

"Just like that." You nodded your head in agreement, turning off the television while you got up and stretched. "It's just not worth it to argue about, y'know? Especially since you're right."

"Um, do you think you could repeat that?" He asked, a smirk appearing on his face. "Because it sounded to me like you just said I was right."

You groaned. "God, you're such an asshole. Yes, you were right, okay? Can I please just go to bed now?"

He shrugged his shoulders, still giving you a cocky look. "Go right ahead, I'm not stopping you."

You playfully rolled your eyes at him as you made your way into the bedroom. He followed you, watching as you got ready to go to sleep. Once you'd finished your nightly routine, you climbed into bed, slipping under the blanket.

Finally satisfied, Five turned to leave, but not before you spoke.

"Five?"

He turned back around, raising his eyebrows as he silently urged you to continue.

"Will you stay? Please?"

Letting out a soft sigh, he walked back over to the bed. "Scoot," he commanded, gesturing for you to move over.

You did, making sure he'd have plenty of room as he laid down next to you.

"Is it okay if I cuddle with you?" You softly asked, knowing how unfamiliar he was with physical intimacy and not wanting to make him uncomfortable by accident.

He didn't say anything at first, but when he patted the space beside him, you took it as an invitation to move closer.

You cuddled up beside him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him close as you buried your face in his chest. "I love you," you sleepily mumbled, causing him to smile.

Once he was sure you were asleep, he responded. "I love you, too," he whispered into the dark of your room. "So much."

~

Taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @your-next-daydream

[dearmantis]

For I'm too busy committing sins

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x Durast!Reader

Summary: The next experiment with Merzost has unforseen side effects and you finally realize that you have not only poked a bear with your greed for knowledge and power. No, you've signed your fate.

Warnings: I'm blatantly ignoring the established rules of the magic system, English is not my native language and this isn't really edited

Word Count: 3.6k

Authors' Note: Sorry this took so long, I just can't write sometimes. Title is still from the fruits, just like the others from the series. We have a two week time skip here, sorry for that but this made the most sense to me. let's hope part 4 will be finished quicker :/

Part 1 | Previous Part | Series Masterlist

The first time you summon you're pretty sure you didn't have to pay a price, not really. You don't notice anything odd on the second try either.

It's the third time that ends up having clear, unforeseen consequences.

You just sat down in your freshly filled, steaming bathtub, scrubbing your skin with a sponge almost an hour after your latest experiment finished when you notice it. Fine lines, as silver as the moon and shimmering like the surface of a mirror, are slowly starting to form on the underside of your arms. It's faint and seems to be spreading slowly, but you can already see what it is.

The words you use to summon are starting to appear on your skin, syllable after syllable etching themselves in tiny letters into the organ, mixed up and spread widely all over the surface of both of your arms, connected to indicate their correct order despite the chaos by long lines that loosely remind you of depictions of star constellations.

No matter how much you scrub, how much soap and force you use, it does not go away.

Burying your face in your hands you pull your legs to your chest and try to suppress any pitiful sounds of frustration. There is simply no point to cry about your own stupidity, no matter how strong the wish to do just that is. What is done is done and now all you can do is hope and pray to the saints that the experiment was worth it and that the writing stays on your arms where it's easy to cover with your kefta.

Wrapping your arms around your legs you stare up to the ceiling of the bathroom, your thoughts rushing through your brain at a speed higher than even the shadows of the General, spurred on by your own anxiety.

Working alone has been a blessing for you. You're good at what you do, so good that you're arguably one of the most, if not the most talented Durast currently staying at the Little Palace. Your work is efficient and exact in a way rarely seen in Durasts that only do repetitive tasks for years like you have, giving you lots of time to experiment with the forbidden science since you make progress with your smoke grenades quicker than most people would expect from you.

And now all of that extra time to plan and go through with experiments has come to bite you.

Groaning quietly your gaze moves towards the small window on the left of the bathtub. It's dark outside, but that doesn't mean much, not during winter. Dinner will not start for another 3 hours and you're honestly not sure if you're even going to attend. Now that you know that physical evidence of your deeds can be found on your skin simply leaving your room feels like a risk.

It's a stupid fear, you know this. There's no way anyone would force you to take off your kefta, no way for anyone to see what is going on, but you can't silence your own mind. The fear still sits in your heart, spreading it's wings and sharpening it's claws to make sure it will never loose hold, will never be exterminated from your heart like the parasite it truly is.

But it's not like you can just never eat with the other Grisha ever again. You're just a normal Grisha, they will never make exceptions for you.

Mind wandering you continue to stare outside, creating and scrapping plan after plan until the bathing water is ice cold, your mind however far too deeply hidden in the clouds for you to notice until one of the servants finally chooses to hesitantly knock on the door.

You turn your head towards her, humming quietly to signal that she can enter.

"Miss, dinner is about to begin" She announces and you pause for just a second, trying to comprehend what the woman has just said.

Dinner is about to begin? Saints, are you so stuck in your own mind that you bathed for three hours without noticing?

Your arms are tightly pressed against your torso as your eyes dart through the room, looking for a robe or towel to cover yourself up with before you simply stare back at the servant. She mirrors your looks, eyes slowly widening as she gets more and more confused and scared because of your intense eye contact, reminding you a bit of a surprised deer. Slowly, as if she's trying to get away from a predator, she turns around, attempting to escape the room, when a sentence finally forms on your tongue, an idea so horrible and stupid that it shocks even you filling your mind like a poisonous gas.

"I'm actually not gonna eat with the others today." You say before you can stop yourself. "I decided to resume my training with Baghra and I though the best way to ask her would be during a meal. Could you bring my portion of dinner to her hut?"

As soon as the words leave your mouth you want to push your head under the water and drown yourself. Baghra is still mad at you. Sure, she knows about your experiments with merzost and might even know something about the writings on your arms, but she also hates your guts right now. Well, she has always hated you, but it's definitely a lot worse now than it was two wreks ago. Also, nothing good has ever happened in Baghras hut, every Grisha knows that. It's unwritten law at the Little Palace.

The servant stares at you for a few more seconds, eyes round like plates, before she gives you a nod that is too enthusiastic to be real and a smile that is so terrifyingly false that a shiver runs down your spine.

"Of course" She answers, and then she's gone like lightning. You stare at the spot she occupied for a few seconds, silently hoping that she was just scared of you because you're behaving weirdly and not because she noticed something fundamentally wrong about you.

Sighing quietly you finally stand up, cold water dripping from your naked body as you step out of the tub and walk out of your tiny bathroom, back into your room, shivering like a leaf in the wind.

Pulling out the towel you foolishly forgot to bring into the bathroom you dry off your body, getting closer to the candle on your desk to look at the lines one more time. They're still thin like sowing needles, colour shifting in the candlelight. The skin around it is sensitive and hot to the touch from all of the scrubbing you've done to get the writings off and your eyes move to the clean kefta hanging in your closet, then the many white shirts right next to it. Even the newest one will probably continue to irritate your skin and you regret taking that bath altogether.

Your eyes dart to the clock on your desk. Dinner will begin soon and you'd prefer to arrive around the same time as your food to make sure the old woman has no chance to spit into your meal.

It's not like you can ask a healer to fix your problem - they would all report the patterns on your skin to the general - so all you can do is quickly wrap one of the bandages you've been hoarding in your desk around your arms before getting dressed and slipping out of your room.

You're almost at the entrance of the Little Palace when you walk around a corner, directly into an Oprichniki. You're pretty sure it's the same one you ran into last time as well, recognizing his copper-like haircolour and the sharp look in his eyes. Quickly moving to the side you keep your eyes on the ground, not wiling to repeat the events that followed the last time you accidentally ran into an Oprichniki.

The saints are not merciful, however, because only a few heartbeats later the smooth, polite voice of the General reaches your ear. "Ah, I'm glad to see you. You've been quite busy, or so I've heard. How are the experiments on the prototypes going?"

Forcing a smile onto your lips you look up, meeting the Generals gaze shakily. "It's going fine, sir. The last two weeks have been quite work intense for me but I got used to working alone quickly. I believe I might even miss it after I'm finished."

He mirrors your smile. "I'm glad to hear that. It's always good to see Grisha find the right environment to flourish. Maybe we could make it a permanent arrangement."

Kirigan looks around for a few seconds, before holding out his hand for you to take. "Would you allow me to walk you to dinner?"

"Oh, I'm not planning to eat with the others tonight." You answer quickly, eyes focused on his hands. What if he touches me again? Sure, he doesn't seem to have noticed anything odd about me the first time we touched, nor the second time, but now I have those markings and I don't know what they do.

Dropping his hand the dark eyes of the General look you over and you feel like he's looking though your clothes, your skin, your muscles, right at your soul, and thinks of what he finds as lacking. Like he can see every single sin you've ever committed.

"You shouldn't overwork yourself too much. You have all the time in the world to finish the-"

You cut him off, nervous energy bubbling deep in your stomach and signaling to your brain to pump you full of adrenaline. You need to get away. Away from him, away from your little workshop, away from the poor bird sitting in a cage down there. Your hands are shaking and your throat feels like you swallowed a handful of wood and metal shavings.

"I'm not working on the grenades tonight. I already finished my work for today. I chose to eat with Baghra tonight."

His eyes narrow, just a tiny bit, and your muscles tense as if your body is instinctively preparing to run from the danger right in front of you. "Is there a reason why you're choosing to dine with your old teacher? I hope you didn't run into any issues with your work."

Shaking your head quickly you try to give a reassuring smile, but you're sure it looks more like a grimace. "No, no issues at all. I just thought I might reconnect with her. It has been years since I last had a conversation with her, after all."

"I'm glad to hear that, but I have to admit that I still don't understand. As far as I know she's not particularly... popular. How come she's the one you want to reconnect with and not any of your other teachers?"

Saints why can't he just leave me alone. Why does he have to question everything?

"I just felt like meeting up with her would be nice, especially since I feel like I've grown a lot as a person since we last said goodbye all those years ago. It's like the otkazat'sya always say: Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

The laugh you force out afterwards feels like acid in your mouth, but you can't give up now. You're three lies deep already and have finished the groundwork to get out of this conversation. Giving in this late would be pathetic.

"Anyways, I'm so incredibly sorry to reject you like this and leave you standing in a hallway but I really have to get going. I don't want to insult Baghra and show up late to our meeting. I promise I will deliver the prototypes by the end of the week and to make up for the rejection I promise to design and make whatever your heart desires after my work is done, moy soverenyi."

Before he gets a chance to respond you're already jogging around another corner, leaving the Little Palace entirely not even thirty seconds later.

It's cold outside, a thin layer of frost on the grass and leaves making everything sparkle in the moonlight. In the distance you can see a servant walking with hurried steps back to the Little Palace, coming from the direction of the hut, and a frown appears on your face, your own steps speeding up again. Luckily it hasn't snowed yet so your trip doesn't take long, arriving at her hut only a few minutes after the servant must've left.

You don't bother with knocking, instead choosing to take one last deed breath of the freezing air before ripping the door open and stepping into the dark hut.

The tolerance to the heat in her house that you've build up while you still regularly trained with her has long disappeared, the warm humidity making breathing even harder than it already is due to the panic attack threatening to overwhelm you since you discovered the marks.

This is not a good day for you and your mental health.

"You could at least do me a favor an turn on a candle or two." You say quietly into the all consuming darkness as you step into the room where you know Baghra eats her dinner. Thankfully you still now the layout of her living quarters like the back of your hand.

"I knew it was you the second the servant mentioned someone invited themselves into my house." The woman responds, her voice sharp and clearly angry at you. "And since when do you need light? I trained you long enough to know you can see more than enough with your powers!"

Your jar clenches in frustration as you wake your gift to find your way to a chair, sitting down quickly and locating the plate where your food waits on the small table in front of you. All of your fear is gone, annoyance and frustration taking its place as the familiarity of Baghra and her home hit you.

In your mind you're five, being dragged in here for the first time by one of the Servants and a Corporalki guard, Baghra looking down at you as if you're a particularly disgusting stain on an expensive carpet.

Then you're seven, cowering on the floor in front of Baghras chair, holding onto her long skirt. Your body aches horribly after a few Corporalki children decided to practice on you against your will. You beg her to tell the General but she just looks down at you, black eyes cold despite the warm candle light flickering in them. "You're a Fabrikator, child. He doesn't care about your kind. You just have to pay more attention to your surroundings, run faster, and get stronger. That's all you can do. No one is gonna safe you."

You're eight, sleeping on her doorstep at the end of autumn, hiding from the other students, the cold air creeping into your bones. She doesn't open the door but you wake up to a steaming cup of tea standing next to you.

You're thirteen, carefully using your powers to look for a special type of ring hidden somewhere in the pitch black hut. The dark still scares you, like it scares most kids, and you can't help yourself. You're starting to get anxious, your control over your powers wavering as your movements get more hectic and your breathing quickens. In your panic you miss the leg of a chair, falling down with a squeak and ripping the skin on your knees and palms open. Baghra clicks with her tougue, disapointment audible, and a second later a match goes up in flames. The woman stares down at you and shakes her head.

You're sixteen, saying goodbye to her one last time, silently promising yourself that you will never step into this house again, no matter what happens.

Grabbing a piece of bread you rip off a piece and put some pickled herring on top, chewing the bite quickly before moving onto the next. Based on the movements of Baghras bones and the containers she's holding you're pretty sure she's drinking tea instead of eating. She must be waiting for you to speak, that's the only explanation for her silence. Or she's waiting for you to finish eating to kick you out, but that would suggest that she has something like manners and cares about hospitality and that just seems unrealistic to you.

Clearing your throat you grab a glass full of water, lifting it up and taking a few sips while starring into the shapeless, all consuming darkness, your powers carefully feeling around the room, looking for familiar items that could maybe give you a feeling of security.

When you place the glass back down you force the words out of your mouth.

"I think I made a horrible mistake."

The silence that follows reminds you of the kind that fills the air after an explosion in the labs. Deafening and gruesome, full of dread because for a few seconds no one knows if anyone got hurt, if someone might be dead or if they lost a limb and don't notice because of adrenaline. It's a sick, horrible ringing in your ear that only disappears when she finally responds, annoyance clear like daylight in her tone.

"Of course you have, idiot. I told you that two weeks ago. Glad that you finally caught up as well." She hisses, angrily placing the teacup back on the table, the porcelain breaking as soon as it makes contact with the wood. You drop your next bite of fish and bread back onto your plate, wordlessly reaching for the shards of the cup. Baghra tries to swat your hands away but you simply hit back into her direction, no longer a child that gets scared of her antics, pulling the pieces to your side of the table and grabbing the first few pieces to fuse them back together.

"Does the cup have a pattern I have to pay attention to while I repair it?"

You feel the way she shakes her head no, then she scoffs. "I'm not gonna save your life because you fixed my cup."

"I don't expect you to."

Neither of you says another word until you finish fixing the cup, carefully placing it back down on the table. A few seconds later Baghra lights a match, using it to set the wick of the candle that's standing between you two on the table on fire.

Soft, warm light fills the room and you look at the woman, watching as she picks up the cup and looks it over, checking your work like she used to when you were still her student.

As soon as she's done she sets it back down, using the napkin you got with your food to soak up the tea that she spilled.

"Your best work yet. Good to see that your brain didn't fully rot away while making corecloth and playing around with merzost."

"Oh, I actually haven't made any corecloth since your visit. The General ordered me to work on my own to make smoke grenades. I think he might be finally noticing my talent."

You don't expect her to throw the wet napkin at you so you don't even flinch when it hits your face full force.

"He noticed that you're messing with things and is isolating you to see what you're doing when you feel safe, you idiot! You're being played. I've told you a thousand times that he does not care for the Fabrikators, what makes you think you're the exception?"

She jumps up, long hair whipping around her head as she stares you down. "When he looks at you he does not see good ideas or talent. He sees something odd. Something that's not right. Something he does not understand. Do not be fooled. I taught you better than to fall for simple tricks like this."

You don't dare to move, not even after she sits back down and eyes your plate for a few seconds before grabbing a piece of bread and fish for herself.

"Now, tell me what idiotic things you've done so I know how to get you out of it."

So you tell her, beginning right at the start. You tell her how you couldn't take the constant mistreatment from your fellow Grisha anymore, people who thought you were weak and an easy target because you're a Durast and not an Inferni or Heartrender. How you started combing through every book, every notebook, every letter you could find to figure out how to become stronger and ultimately ended up with choosing merzost as the only viable solution to your problem.

When you arrive at the part where you have to explain today's experiment, the first attempt at making an actual amplifier, she buries her face in her hands and stays like that for ten minutes, refusing to look at you even after you finish your retelling of the events of the last months.

Her voice is tired and strained when she finally does speak, slightly muffled through her hands. "Did you at least free the bird you used?"

"Why should I? It didn't work."

Finally lifting her head she looks you over for a few seconds before snatching your hand from the table, fingers clawing into your skin. You wait for the amplification to start like it always did in the past, but nothing happens.

Shaking her head she lets go, leaning back in her chair.

"That's what I thought. It has no effect anymore. You don't know if it worked or not, you can't test it. And considering that you said you have markings on your skin I'm guessing you successfully made an amplifier. You already payed the price for summoning it after all."

A frown appears on your face, but before you can even think about asking what she means she continues speaking. "You can't be amplified anymore. That's the price, the corruption you suffered. You're on your own now. You wanted to summon merzost to make yourself stronger and now all you can do is make others more powerful."

Part 4 - The fruits of my labour

Taglist: @shawty-writes-a-little @dreamlandcreations

[monpalace]

@july-angel-wings

full disclosure, i haven't touched skyward sword or first's story ever in my life aside from secondhand fanfic knowledge and tauberpa's abridged vids more than 8yrs ago,, 😁

(this turned into informal general romantic hcs with first im sorry 🗿)

anyways, i imagine first would be more than apprehensive when it comes to you rescuing him. out of survival instincts, he doesn't know how you managed to find him? how'd you break in? why were you here in the first place? were you someone else who had been imprisoned, or did you want him for your own purposes?

he's thankful, don't get him wrong, but a man questions all intentions once you've put poison in his food, even the hand that heals.

following his rescue (and the establishment that you were friend and not foe), first would likely be more open to you assisting him in his goddess-given duty. most certainly to the point that there are no secrets between you.

time would feel as though it went in the blink of an eye when it came to defeating demise— and, in a sense, it did. it could have been months, or weeks, or hours, or seconds, and he wouldn't know any better.

first wouldn't be ashamed to admit that he's romantically interested in you. he'd be normal about courting you after he grows out of the "crush formed via trauma-bond" phase and evolves into the "okay, yeah, i actually like-like you" phase.

but me, personally? i think he's really fucking stupid and doesn't know how to properly court someone. i think he's seen people court each other to many times to count in his home village, but he doesn't have fond memories of the village so it kind of murks and muddles everything to the point he's confident enough to say "yeah, that wouldn't work at all."

assuming this is first after his character development, i feel he wouldn't be ashamed to act like his old self if that makes sense? like, less of a seasoned veteran and more of just some guy on the side of the road you drive past.

pushing my "most links are illiterate" agenda to say that link courts you by asking you to read to him, sometimes teach him if he's confident enough. he says it's because he likes watching you become so invested in the story if it's good enough (and hearing your voice if you're able to speak).

uhhh,, this is where my bullshitting abt skyward sword lore comes in,,

anyways, i imagine first is able to travel between skyloft and the ground using the ancient equivalent of a skywing made specifically for him by hylia because 1.) triforce of courage, hylia's chosen hero, and protector of skyloft be damned, he is afraid of heights and 2.) he already built a house for you and him he's not moving it.

yeah, that last part was def a surprise to you.

"why don't you want to go live on skyloft permanently again?"

"we already have a three bedroom, four and a half bathroom, full kitchen, full dining room house with an entire backyard and amazing view waiting for us? why would we want to live there?"

"we?"

"🧍🏼idk what you want me to say.. it's kind of like a gift? you didn't notice how i've been disappearing the last few months?"

"i thought you were out taking care of monsters?"

"i mean, yeah? i was taking bounties so i could work up enough funds to get the stuff to make an engagement ring?"

"who are you proposing to?"

"you? who else do i tolerate enough at this point of our lives? we can turn the house into a honeymoon spot, or a vacation house if you want?"

iirc after everyone and their mother moved up to skyloft, monsters started spawning more often and dangerously, so i dont think first would mind putting in more of an effort to protect you if they were to surround the house— but i also don't think that he'd be dumb enough to not make protective measures like a gate n whatnot.

(i'm being so fr when i say he probably dug out a moat.)

anyways, yh no first is def happy to surround himself with you and whatever animal companion y'all managed to find like you're in "i am legend" or whatever.

let me stop 🗿

[aingeal98]

its me, still peeling cass like an onion. do you think cain had like, evil doctors on call? ig he probably handled most first aid himself, but like... the possibilities of an Evil Dentist enchants me. on a slightly more serious note, if they existed and they did any surgery on her, it was probably without sedatives or analgesics of any kind. reason 19468 why cass' pain sensitivity is stupidly fucked up

I love this ask so much. My first thought was like hmm maybe Cain blackmailed decent professionals into doing it because learning it all himself would be too much and evil people could try and double cross him. But honestly I think someone with a moral compass would always be more of a risk even if you're threatening their family like they could one day snap and try and take everyone down with them because the ethics just got too much for them to bear. So his best bet would probably be getting evil doctors and evil dentists who have zero morals and REALLY love their job. And Cain's like hey do you want a really fun test case where you'll be payed really well and can do literally whatever you want with your spare time as long as you don't damage this one girl permanently and I'm convinced it has a benefit? And you also have to use your medical knowledge to keep her healthy, but you can throw in as much pain as you want if that's what floats your boat.

Evil Dentist is a delightful thought. Most kids grew up with the tooth fairy. Cass grew up with a man in a lab coat who would collect her baby teeth for "experiments" and in return he helped deal with cavities and general oral hygiene. The first time her mouth went numb at the dentist she probably panicked so hard because wtf why are they drugging her? They're supposed to just fix her teeth! Where is the extreme agony and drilling? Where are the tests to see which nerves in her mouth can make her faint when forced to experience high levels of pain?

Cue Barbara and Bruce sitting outside in horrified silence contemplating this new aspect of her childhood they've just learned about. And the fact that there's a random dentist in Macau that may have her baby teeth and could be cloning her right now.

("We should fix that right? Cain probably killed him but we should track him down just in case?"

"She has a doctor's appointment right after this. Let's just try and get through that alive first.")

And if Cass isn't used to anesthetics, hospital visits and surgery must also be so annoying at first like OK I have shrapnel in my stomach. Get it out. Why do I have to be sleeping for this wouldn't it be much more helpful if I'm awake to make sure you're doing it right. Alfred stop feeling sorry for me this is a good thing. Makes me more competent.

Most of the time I think she probably wouldn't reference it too much because she's seen ordinary hospitals and how Leslie works in the clinic. She knows that her childhood medical treatment was uh... Not Normal. But sometimes it slips out when she's trying to be comforting.

Steph: My mom might have to get surgery to deal with her stomach acid problem and I can't lie, it scares me a little.

Cass: Don't worry. The stomach is messy and warm but it doesn't hurt that much when it's cut open. Not compared to legs and arms.

Steph:

Steph: You know what? I think I'm going to just go ahead and change the conversation topic

[raetoria]

Let's talk about the Lightfall campaign shall we? As you might expect I'm gonna be talking about spoilers so be warned if you haven't finished yet!

Right now there are a lot of fans who are angry and upset about Lightfall, saying that it's a step down and that they're so disappointed this is what the penultimate expansion is. Their main complaints are around the writing (especially of the Veil), Strand's implementation, and Nimbus.

I really liked Lightfall. This is not gonna be me complaining about the game, sorry. Also I see the constant reminder is necessary, be nice to the devs!!!! They poured a lot of work into this so even if you don't like it, leave some constructive criticism if you really want to and hopefully the seasonal story will be more your speed! I wanted to just put my thoughts out there.

First off, it was a lot of fun and Neomuna as an environment really hits a sweet spot for me that I just love. The aesthetic design, the world lore, all of it is just great. I loved how there was basically no padding in the campaign, almost all of the missions were tight and progressed the story. Legendary difficulty was hard but not impossible and it was a fun challenge to take on. The Witness was terrifying, and the lore implications are huge. I think it's really great we were handed a "loss" right before Final Shape. Overall, the dialogue was clean and I loved seeing these characters interact.

So that brings us to the first point. The Veil and how the story treated it was a little odd. We never really saw it until the end and no one ever explained how it worked or what it did. But, I think that's the point? My feeling is that, from Osiris' point of view, the Witness wants this thing to do something bad to the Traveller and Savathun knew it was extremely powerful / had power to do something to the Witness. Osiris probably concluded, "I don't know what this is and it doesn't matter, we have to protect it because the Witness desperately wants it."

Similarly, the vibe I was getting from the Cloud Striders is that they don't know either! It really felt like that at one point very early in Neomuna's history, the Ishtar Collective found this big nut and went, "hmmmm wonder what this does" and created the first CloudArk prototype. However, I don't think it went further than that. There so far isn't much evidence they really had any understanding of what it could do, at least not how the Witness used it. So with how many generations it's been and how many Cloud Striders have been passing down this information (since it seems like normal people aren't allowed down to the Veil chamber) my guess is the knowledge has been lost. They know the CloudArk runs off it and that the city is powered by it, that's it. So to Nimbus and Rohan, the Witness trying to get the Veil = Neomuna losing a critical piece of infrastructure. They know it's powerful and that it runs the city, but that's it. They don't have any idea how it works because it does not matter to them. They just know losing it is bad and will probably end up causing everyone to die because that's what they've been told. That's why when Osiris asks about the Veil, they give the canned response, because that's what they know and that's their habitual response whenever someone asks!

So taken all together, that's why I think the way the Veil is presented is fine. The whole point is that we have no idea what this thing is and we're probably gonna spend some time post raid figuring it out. I would have loved to see some line from Osiris or the Striders like, "oh we don't know and we don't care what it does" but I think it's still fine. It's not the first time Destiny requires you to just buy into something.

Okay okay, so now let's talk about strand. This one is a bit annoying to me admittedly because Bungie absolutely hit that 80s action movie hero vibe like they talked about in the vidoc with strand during the campaign. They even had a training montage! However, without the rapid recharge in strand empowered areas it's a class that's a bit tough to use. Admittedly, I don't have a build or really any fragments unlocked so I'm sure it'll be fine once I get there, but the grapple is... tough to love. When im able to instantly refund it by connecting to grapple point it's great! And the refund from doing the melee combined with my discipline is also pretty good; I usually have it by the next time I want to swing. But just trying to swing around generally is rough. I'm going to keep playing with it but I really hope I can figure out a way to just zip around in locations without the grapple points.

In terms of it during the Lightfall campaign, I thought it was used well! I liked it frankly, the rapid ability charging and the slow evolution was fun, and a lot easier to manage than stasis for me. Generally speaking, I think the unlock for Strand is gonna be a lot better than Stasis. I also liked swinging around the arenas and punching stuff, as a warlock main it was fun to channel a titan for a bit! Overall, I liked the way it played such a big role in the campaign because of course it did, it's a huge addition to the game!

Okay, final topic, Nimbus. People I feel are hating on Nimbus in the same way they hate on Shaw Han which I just don't really get. Nimbus is a character who takes things in stride and with joy, because that's their personality and they play the role of the hero for the Neomuni. They need to seem unflappable and like nothing is a big deal because that's what the people expect. Also, they're excited and young! They have basically met a superhero (us) and seen the wild things we do! But they have also been thrust into a leadership role suddenly and without warning. They are trying to keep their spirits high even though they are feeling incredibly conflicted underneath. The way their grief is manifesting is that they are trying to throw themselves headlong into their work to take on Rohan's mantle to escape their feelings. Hint, this is also how Osiris acts and so seeing him caution Nimbus is hilariously ironic (he's getting better! Kind of!) As we see in some post campaign content, Nimbus is going through it (tm) and not dealing with their grief. The loss of their mentor / kind of father figure has really hit hard. I haven't finished all the quests yet so I'm excited to see how that develops! They're fun and jokey on the surface, but very thoughtful and driven underneath.

Which brings me to my final thought. For me, Nimbus and Cayde-6 feel incredibly similar. They're both characters who seem jokey and all about fun (and a bit shallow as a result) but are really thoughtful and deep in their quiet moments. They just want to protect the people they have been charged with the safety of, and they know how important seeming cheerful can be. But with Nimbus post campaign we see the mask slip. We see they're not handling the loss well. In the final mission in the Ace of Spades quest, we see the real Cayde-6, the person behind the jokes. That mission is what made me like cayde, frankly I found him a bit annoying otherwise but that one mission of cayde pouring his heart out long after he was gone really got to me. Anyways this is to say that I like Nimbus, I like the hidden depth and I love their bombastic nature. I especially love seeing what a folk hero is like, the good and the bad. And I don't think their voice is annoying. If you do... well that sucks I suppose since he has a lot of dialogue!

Wow that was a lot longer than I thought I guess I have opinions tm. Anyways, tl;dr I liked Lightfall and don't think it's nearly as bad as people are making it out to be. Be nice to the devs!!!

[ghost-of-a-system]

sorry if this is kind of crossing a line, but how do you guys deal with thinking you're faking? ive been having more issues with it recently and its affecting my system,, i dont mean to but its an unfortunately common intrusive thought

no worries, it's definitely a common thought a lot of systems seem to get from time to time (at least from what we've seen)! i know we have, though for us it was usually less of an "i'm faking", and more of an "i'm gaslighting myself into thinking i have this, by acknowledging symptoms". we mostly got these thoughts in the first year or so of for-sure knowing about our system. while we met the criteria and general experiences of someone who has OSDD1, we found ourselves obsessively comparing our system to others we'd see online, or others that we knew. we saw systems who had things like inner worlds or extreme differences in skills & knowledge per alter. things that aren't specifically required to be one, but seemed so awfully common that we just thought they were unspoken guidelines we were missing. so, we were afraid we were "faking".

i don't know how much this can apply to others, but we can remember a good deal of indicators about having OSDD1 when we were younger, especially from the ages of 11-15 or so. (mainly, dissociative episodes, the presence of potential alters.) we obviously didn't know what it was then, nor did we really think it too out of the ordinary. but they were things that we were able to start connecting the dots with the more we learned about systems and ourselves later on.

looking back, our concerns kind of fizzled out with the more dots we connected. kinda hard to be gaslighting yourself into symptoms you don't even know are symptoms, right? the fact that we experienced these things for a long time prior to even learning about OSDD1 was usually enough to help us. but i can understand if it might not be safe for others to try to delve into their pasts like that. isn't really for me to say or speak much on.

this may also not apply to many others, but here's another way. ever since creating this account, actually, we've started to stop holding ourselves to these ridiculous standards in order to be a "normal system". we're learning to respect ourselves for the way we are, and we have noticed that since then, our life has gotten, clearer, almost? whereas before, i think our anxiety and paranoia about the way we functioned clouded a lot of our symptoms. we were always over-analyzing and overthinking everything, so much so that nothing felt genuine. and, like i stated at the beginning... basically all of our concerns over faking stemmed from comparing ourselves to others, personally.

i don't know if that makes sense, but we just stopped caring so much and acknowledged our symptoms as more of a passing thought rather than one we need to grab and study as soon as it occurs. i'm not too sure of the correlation, but i think our experiences/symptoms just. stopped feeling like something we were 'secretly, actively inducing', if that makes it any clearer? and, these things were happening on their own, and to degrees that simply could not be explained by anything other than OSDD1 or something similar. it's really hard to put into words so i'm sorry if that makes zero sense hah, but that's just what we've done. we haven't really had such thoughts ever since.

-skye

[bruggle]

Why are one-shots so easy for me to write? THESE PLOTS WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE.

Again, this is for @absolutely-normal-about-x 's fantastic au. I'm sorry if you're getting tired of it, I just love it so much.

Just a note, though... uh... this follows within the au of an au like St. Clarity.

Constellations

Phantom takes a moment to reflect

Words: 3k

"Cause like constellatons

A million years away

Every good intention

Every good intention

Is interpolation

The lines we drew in the array

Looking for the faces

Looking for the shapes

In the silence"

-Constellations, The Oh Hellos

  Nights were always the quietest for Phantom.

  Even with Fefnir’s insistent snoring, it was still quieter during the late hours of the evening than any other point on the Flutter. Not that Phantom really minded, of course. No, he quite liked the regular chaos of the house boat. Made all the ways he messed with the inhabitants easier to get away with, after all! But, there were times when he wanted to get away from it. To think. To reflect.

  Of course, he’d occasionally be joined by Volnutt or his father. Volnutt, ever eager to learn more about his older brother, and X being concerned that Phantom felt left out; middle child syndrome, he called it. Phantom wasn’t all that concerned, to be frank. He was, after all, used to being invisible. Both due to his more cunning nature in having been programed for spy work, as well as the… rather poor treatment he and his siblings had faced in Neo Arcadia. They were leaders; Guardians. Not meant to be treated as the children they imitated. It was… a welcomed change to go from that to this more peaceful existence.

  He thinks he’d rather die than face another human.

  Well, that’s not entirely true.

  While it had been a shock to him and his three older siblings, X revealing the fact that they had an older, human sister had been an… interesting one to say the least. But… if she had at least in part been raised by X, then surely she couldn’t be anywhere near as awful as the humans of Neo Arcadia, right? Phantom had had the passing thought of wanting to meet her. Just to see. He wouldn’t be holding his breath, of course. But it would be nice to know that not all of humanity was as callused and cruel as those of his time.

  (He supposed Ciel was an exception. But… well… he didn’t like to think about the reason she had felt the need to leave. -Copy X-)

  Regardless, it had been a further shock when it was revealed that passing thought wasn’t quite as impossible as Phantom had figured. Someway, somehow, Brook had wound up as a cyber elf. Not even X was quite sure how it happened. Perhaps it was the fact that she had been surrounded by the reploids of Maverick Hunter HQ when she had been killed in the explosions Wiel caused just before Omega had fallen the first time. Or maybe just the fact of how much time she had spent in the company of reploids in general; lightanium had a weird sort of radiation it emitted that wasn’t fully understood. Dr. Light himself had been considered the progenitor of cyber elves in X’s time, after all.

  Either way, she was here. The fact only being revealed thanks to Volnutt’s carelessness during a dig. Phantom’s baby brother had gotten himself stuck in the deep recesses of a ruin with a particularly strong connection cyberspace. Unfortunately, he had busted up his communication devices in the process of getting stuck. Brook, as a ‘Spirit’ (as the carbons called them; the knowledge of cyber elves being lost to time,) had led Volnutt out of the dig site. It had been a particularly strong surge of energy that had changed her from the glowing orbs carbons normally saw cyber elves as, into a more… humanoid shape. Volnutt had recognized her from the photo he had uncovered a month ago, causing him to tell X as soon as the youngest member of the family had made his way out of the ruins.

  X had immediately ran into the ruins in a bid to find her.

  (Phantom didn’t think such relief could exist. He knew without a doubt, that if it had been him or any of his siblings, X would do the same and more for them.) -Copy X hadn’t even blinked when he had learned of Phantom’s death.-

 He had, of course, returned with a glowing orb in tow. (Phantom had asked if he was certain this orb was her over the thousands of other elves hanging around the ruins; X had just said he knew. The younger carbon never challenged his father on it again.) At that point, X had worked tirelessly with Barrell on recreating a device that would allow carbons to see and communicate with cyber elves. Mush like humans had in Phantom’s time. He specifically recalled the headset Ciel had worn during her time as a scientist.

  -He’d be lying if he said he didn’t consider sabotaging it once or twice.-

  When they had finally finished it, X had spent hours talking with Brook. Heck, he had spent days. Barely sleeping, barely eating. Everyone had been worried. But eventually, X had emerged. He apologized for the scare, of course, but it had turned out that whatever it was that had caused Brook to become a cyber elf hadn’t… agreed with her. She had lost nearly all sense of identity and memory in the transition. It had taken literal centuries for her to remember as much as she had. And she was still fuzzy on certain details.

  X had then allowed all of them a turn with the headset to properly meet her. Phantom supposed she had been nice enough, but a part of him would have preferred to have passed on his turn. He didn’t care if it was wrong for him to think that way.

  But… she was technically his sister.

  That had to count for something.

  A light out of Phantom’s peripheral vision shook him out of his musings. A part of him was slightly annoyed at the interruption, but he quickly shoved it down. Brook settled down besides him, flashing brighter in order to convey her desire to talk. X had long since worked yet again with Barrell to both simplify as well as produce extra communication devises so that everyone could talk to Brook at all times. Now, rather than a bulky headset, they had simplified it into an earpiece with a visor extending from it.

  (“Hey, this looks like a scanner from Dragon Ball Z!” Fefnir had noted. “What’s Dragon Ball Z?” Volnutt had asked. Phantom didn’t think his older brother would ever forgive the blue clad carbon for that.)

  X and Volnutt practically had their glued to their face; X being the dutiful father that he is, and Volnutt being his curious self. Wanting to know everything he possibly could about his newest, oldest sibling. Phantom kept his off nearly all the time. If anybody noticed, they never said anything.

  -Harpuia knew. He always knows.-

  In any case, when the insistent flashing didn’t cease, Phantom finally, begrudgingly, put on his device. -He hesitated switching on, though.-

  “Do you know any of the constellations?” Brook quietly asked when he turned to her. He was… surprised by such a simple question. The purple clad carbon had figured there’d be an interrogation.

  “…No,” Phantom answered just as quietly. “They never thought it worth teaching us. Couldn’t really see the stars anyways."

 “’They’?” Brook asked.

  “…Neo Arcadia’s researchers,” he hesitantly explained. “They got to decide what was worth us knowing and what wasn’t. Couldn’t even sneak around them.” He couldn’t even sneak around them. They had placed inhibitors on himself and his siblings that didn’t allow them access to the archives without the presence of an approved archivist. And they always made sure none of the more sympathetic ones were approved. Brook made a sort of humming sound. -Did she agree with them?-

  “Would you like to?” she asked. Phantom turned to her, surprised. -Not that he’d show it.- “…I guess,” he said. Please. Brook gave him a small smile, gently floating closer to his face. (She was still the same size as her orb form; they were far away from any sort of cybernetic connection, after all.) “You see that cluster of stars there?” she asked, pointing to a specific part of the sky. “The one that looks like a weird rectangle?” It took Phantom a minute, but he eventually found the stars she was talking about. It did look like a weird rectangle. He nodded. “Okay, now that bottom corner,” she continued, pointing to one of the stars. “Do you see the trail of stars that look like an obtuse angle?” These were a little trickier to find, as Phantom wasn’t quite sure which corner she ha been talking about; but when he did, it was pretty obvious. He nodded again. “That is the Big Dipper,” Brook explained. “It’s a part of a bigger constellation, Ursa Major, but I think some of the stars for her died out. I can’t see them.”

   “Her?” Phantom asked. Brook nodded. “Yep,” she replied. “Her. Ursa Major, Mother Bear. Well, Major just means big, but that’s her role. All the constellations have a story associated with them.”

  “They do?” the dark haired carbon asked. “What’s hers?”

  Brook let out a small laugh. “How much do you know about Greek mythology?” she queried.

  “Just the gods and their roles,” Phantom muttered. Brook nodded. “That’s enough,” she said. “Maybe some other time we can go more in depth on those, if you want.” -He thinks he’d like that.-

  “Okay, so,” Brook continued. “A woman by the name of Calisto caught the attention of Zeus, who proceeded to do what he is most famous for.” Phantom pulled a face at that. “Which in turn, lead to his wife, Hera, finding out. In order to protect Calisto from Hera’s wrath, Zeus turned the woman into a bear. However, Hera waited until Calisto’s son, Arcus, was grown in order to lead him to the bear.

  He was a mighty hunter by that time, so he was determined to kill Calisto; not knowing she was his mother. In order to protect them both, Zeus turned Arcus into a bear as well; then flung them into the sky to keep them out of Hera’s reach. Thus, they became Ursa Major and Ursa Minor.”

  “Where’s Ursa Minor?” Phantom asked.

  “Okay, so the other bottom corner of the Big Dipper,” Brook pointed out; Phantom immediately zeroed in on the star she was talking about. “Now, look north from that point; you’ll see a big, bright star.” Phantom did as Brook instructed, eventually seeing the star she was pointing out. “That’s the North Star,” she explained. “It always points north; no matter what time of the year. It’s what people used to navigate by night before the invention of compasses.”

  “What does this have to do with Ursa Minor?” Phantom interrupted. -He already knew about the North Star. Only because it was useful.- Brook let out an awkward chuckle. “Sorry,” she sheepishly murmured. “It’s kind of my favorite. It’s also the tail tip of Ursa Minor.”

  Oh.

  “Okay, so if you look up from the North Star,” she continued. “You’ll see something that looks like a warped, smaller version of the Big Dipper.” Phantom followed her directions until he came across the stars she was talking about. “That’s Ursa Minor?” he asked.

  She nodded. “It’s also known as the Little Dipper.”

  Phantom let out a small hum. He could see what she meant by ‘warped’. The handle for the Little Dipper had a much stranger shape than the Big Dipper. “So they really didn’t let you learn anything on your own?’ Brook suddenly spoke up. “In Neo Arcadia, I mean.”

  “…No,” Phantom answered. -He didn’t want to talk about it.-

  “Man, that sucks,” Brook muttered, and Phantom had had enough.

  “Don’t act like you know,” he hissed. “You don’t know anything. You’ve been free your whole life!” Brook gave him a bewildered look. “I didn’t say I did,” she replied carefully.

  “You don’t have to,” Phantom snarled, glaring at her. “You act like a false sense of sympathy makes everything better! You all do! But you’ve never been through anything like this in your life! And you never would have!”

  Brook took in a deep breath, before letting it out in a sigh. -This was a mistake. He should take off the visor.- “What makes you think it’s false sympathy?” she asked.

  Phantom gave her an incredulous look. “You’ve never been through it,” he reiterated. “And never will.”

  Brook nodded. “That’s true,” she said. “But that’s not necessarily ‘false sympathy’. It’s empathy. Something all pack animals have, humans included.”

  “Fat lot of good that has done for reploids,” Phantom growled. The cyber elf gave a small shrug. “Fat lot of good it’s done for humanity,” she shot back. “I mean, you have to remember; humanity has had a long, long, long, history of cruelty. You weren’t the first.”

  “And that makes it any better?” Phantom snarked.

  “Not by a long shot,” Brook said. “But I don’t think it was humanity on it’s own. At my time, humanity and reploids were almost there. We were almost to what X wanted for both. But… I also remember all the support Weil got before everything went to shit. How else do you think he got his grubby hand’s on Zero’s original body? The stuff that went down at Neo Arcadia sounds a lot like what he wanted.

  “X… put too much faith into people. I get he was hurting, but I’m quite sure that a lot of the old coot’s supporters took advantage of his apathy.”

  “You’re making excuses,” Phantom accused.

  “Maybe,” Brook sighed. “Or maybe I’m just trying to figure out how it got so bad.”

  Phantom was silent for a minute. “You… said things were better before the Elf Wars?” he hesitantly asked. The cyber elf gave a small smile. “Yeah, I mean,” she started. “Mavericks were still a problem, so there was still a little trepidation, but… there were also a lot of people coming around to it. Did X ever tell you that I was almost adopted by a reploid sheriff?”

  “Sheriff?” asked Phantom. “What’s that?”

  Brook let out a laugh. “They’re like police, only voted in by an entire county rather than hired,” she explained. “Not just anyone can be sheriff. You have to be well liked, otherwise you lose your job. Tern had been sheriff of his county for nearly fifteen years. Lots of people respected him. And that was out in the middle of nowhere. Cities were usually a little more open to that sort of thing.”

  That… surprised Phantom. A reploid with a job that relied on them being liked and respected by their human peers? Unheard of. “Why should I believe you?” he asked.

  “I mean, you’re free to believe what you want,” she shrugged. “But there’s not much of a point for me to lie, either. The second you find out, you’d hate me even more. I’d rather not have that.”

  “…I don’t hate you,” Phantom whispered. Brook gave him a sympathetic look. “Maybe not,” she said. “But you resent what I am. Er, was. Sorry, this cyber elf business is still really weird to me.” Phantom gave a weak smile. -She was right.- “Why?” he asked. “Why did human’s do it?”

  “I don’t know,” Brook answered quietly. “But, one thing I do know is that even though humanity has had cruelty forever, we’ve also had love. Even small things. And it’s a lot more important to remember that.”

  Small things?

  Phantom recalled one of the archivists he had known. (One of the more sympathetic ones. He had liked her.) It had been a day or two after their activation; he had been begging her for more time in the archives. Something she could not allow. And yet… when he had returned to his quarters later that night, he had found a book, a blank notebook, and writing utensil on his charging station. The book had been about panthers; something definitely not on the approved list for he and his siblings. Phantom had spent the entire night carefully copying the book word for word within the blank sheets of paper. He had then carefully hidden the notebook and writing utensil where nobody else would ever possibly find them.

  The next morning, they had confiscated the book.

  He never saw the woman again.

  Was that what Brook was talking about?

  “Why?” Phantom asked. Brook looked over at him; he could tell she didn’t quite know what he was asking. "Why were you okay with reploids?”  

  “’Cuz there was love on both sides,” Brook said. “X… X did a lot for me. Even if I didn’t fully appreciate it at the time. I can’t thank him enough. And Axl was my brother; he was nothing but kind to me even when I was a little shit. But oh, we made X’s life a living hell for the fun of it.” Phantom let out a laugh at that. He’s heard about all the sorts of mischief his uncle Axl had gotten into. “Zero… I didn’t know him  very well. But I knew he cared. Even if he didn’t always show it. And then Om-“ Brook stopped herself.

  “Who?” Phantom asked.

  “It’s… nothing,” Brook hesitantly insisted. “Just… Look. I worked with reploids, lived with reploids, I cared about a lot of them. And I wasn’t alone in how I saw them. There were a lot of people both taken in by and raising reploids by my time. Maybe… maybe if Weil hadn’t been able to do half of what he did, things would have been better.”

  Maybe they would have. But they didn’t.

  “In any case,” the auburn haired elf continued. “Please, talk to X about it.”

  Phantom felt his spine straighten. “I’m fine,” he insisted. Brook snorted. “Yeah, I thought so too,” she argued. “But I promise, you’re not.”

  “What do you know?” the purple clad carbon snapped.

  “Dude, I was fourteen years old when my parents died,” Brook said with a raised brow. “And wound up overhearing that it happened almost immediately after my dad got home from dropping me off from school. You know what that does to someone? Especially when they had the chance to have done something different? I could have had him turn the car around when I realized I forgot my coat. I could have been there.

  “For a while, I thought I should have been there,” she murmured. “But… that’s called survivor’s guilt. And it’s a type of trauma. You have a type of trauma.”

  -He didn’t care.-

  “Why do you care?” Phantom muttered.

  “Because I’m your sister,” Brook replied simply. “And you shouldn’t be facing it alone. That does nothing but hurt the people who love you.”

 

 

 

  What could he say to that?

 

 

  What did he want to say to that?

 

 

 

  -He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to.-

  “Can you show me more constellations?” He asks instead, hoping to maybe distract her from those ridiculous notions.

  Brook gives a sigh, but slowly floats back to her position next to his head.

  “Alright,” she says. “Just please give it some thought?”

  -Maybe.-

[zeglythofficial]

I'm here to offer tea in the name of 🍊 juice.

My friend did a new reading and here it goes:

About BB and T: She said she sees BB operating on a more noticeable level to try an regain T's attention because he's been drifting more and more as of late.

She also claims that BB is using his name as a way of gaining more fame for herself, and is truly bothered by T's friendship with R.

She says that BB has been gaining a more toxic aura about her lately and that she has tried to catch T in the act talking to R even going as far as reading his texts without his knowledge.

According to her, she perceived R as a threat from the get go for some reason and while R did try to form a bond, she couldn't and gave up on it all together because although she'll never admit it to herself, R didn't like how T's attention would be focused solely on BB while they hung out.

About J: My friend doesn't like him, she thinks he's shady and that's he doing something he shouldn't do, might even be talking to another woman behind R's back and to no one's surprise according to my friend she might be around 20 years old.

My friend also stated that R is for some reason worried about who's going to be the lead of FTA. When I asked why my friend started cackling and said it's because R is toxic and doesn't want to see T sharing any sort of connection with other actresses, that's quite possessive of him in general and doesn't like that another might have that so she's worrying over it.

Welcome back Tarot Orange and associate!

Is no one here normal? 😭 I thought BB was our last hope at normalcy but she’s just as crazy.

BB opening her account to get T’s attention and him pulling a reverse uno and unliking her pics 💀 what a mess. Men don’t like being boxed in or forced to do something so it makes sense.

Using T’s name for fame? I’m sorry but she’s a little stupid if that’s true. T doesn’t want to use his fame for himself, let alone her 😭 also she should’ve opened her account months ago to capitalize on his fame more

Reading his texts without his knowledge? Omg is it that serious? 💀 this is why an ultimatum never works. She’s doing all of this for him to talk to R anyway…and I can see her developing a toxic aura about this. It explains her strange behavior.

R not liking T’s attention on BB? The dinner party video is cursed. J was clueless, R was staring at T, T was smiling for the camera and BB was thirsty for his attention. Also Tarot 2.0 said a while ago that T saw no reason for R and BB to be friends and didn’t try to help cool down the situation lol. Is that true?

J sniffing after another young woman as R’s birthday draws near is so gross.

I can’t wait for Farewell actress to be announced. I’m glad Orange confirmed my suspicions. R is toxic now so imagine her toxicity when he’s preparing for this project with another actress.

Thank you :)

[thedanoriddler]

I rlly need some fluff rn. I need to know how Edward would feel abt an S/O with really bad periods, because i have those and need MF FLUFF GALORE. Like how would he react when they say "i'm on my period." because I doubt the orphanage did anything.

Not to be gross but YES, I’m on my period right now 😭💀 (I’m just at the end though 🥲)

Warnings: This whole post is about periods, so AFAB reader, but I’ve tried to avoid using specific gendered terms or pronouns just in case!

🩸Edward and S/O on their period🩸

I really doubt the orphanage was teaching the kids about periods or even that it had enough products for any of the older kids getting their periods, so apart from the basic sex education at school, I doubt Edward is that knowledgable about periods

You and Eddie are supposed to be going on a date one night when your period arrives - and of course you also get the full on cramps and soreness to go with it! Because of course that would happen when you’re about to go on a date with him 😭

He arrives at your place, it’s not your first date together but he’s still super nervous and worried he’s going to mess up, and is confused when you open the door and you’re wearing dark sweatpants and are just in general not looking particularly ready to go on a date. “I’m… so sorry, did I get the wrong day?” He asks, looking anxious

You could cry at how unfair it is - you had really been looking forward to your date with Eddie, you’d had a crush on him for so long, and now he was at your place because you’d been so crippled by the cramps that you hadn’t had the chance to text him yet.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologise profusely, trying not to double over in pain as another cramp hits you. “I… I meant to text you or something, but… can we maybe reschedule to next week or something?”

He looks kind of sad as he asks if he’s done something wrong, and you shake your head quickly. “No, no, it’s nothing like that… I just…” And you debate for a moment whether you should tell him the truth, or whether it would just freak him out. Another cramp hits you and try to hide your wince as you wrap an arm around your middle. “I’m having… you know. Monthly problems.”

You thought that’d be enough to explain and that he’d hopefully understand - instead, he tilts his head and looks even more perplexed. “Monthly problems? What… What monthly problems? Is it money related, because I can pay for our date, I don’t mind…”

You’re about to explain that it’s not about money, maybe try to give another hint that you’re on your period without saying it outright, when you feel the most painful cramp so far hit you and you can’t stop yourself from wincing

The second he sees you’re in pain, Eddie rushes in through the door of the apartment to be by your side, like “oh my god, (y/n), are you okay?!?”, and he’s genuinely concerned that you’re hurt or something as he puts his arm around you

“I’m fine,” you grit out, even though you’re in fact not fine and you’re struggling not to cry from both the pain and the embarrassment. “Eddie, really, you don’t need to stay, it’s…” But he’s frowning as he closes the door and leads you towards the couch, concerned even during his confusion, because “no, I want to help!”

As you sit down, you decide you’ve just got to be blunt about it. “I’m sorry,” you mutter again. “It’s my… my period, I get really bad cramps and…” you grit your teeth and resist the urge to curl up into a ball while he’s still here. “I’ll be fine, you don’t need to stay”

Eddie, meanwhile, is wide-eyed but still sort of not sure; he knows what periods are, in the most obvious sense, but he doesn’t know that much about them beyond the fact it’s monthly bleeding. “Are they… are they supposed to hurt?” He questions, mildly concerned about the fact you’re in pain. “Is that normal?”

You wonder if he’s being serious for a moment before deciding, yes, of course he is, this is Eddie so of course he’s serious. “Yeah, cramps… cramps usually happen. But mine, they… they really fucking hurt.”

Despite telling him he’s free to go home, he probably doesn’t want to be around for your time of the month, Eddie insists on staying with you and starts asking if he can do anything to help, literally anything; you can barely move because you’re in so much pain, so you tentatively ask him if he could make you a cup of tea or something, to try to help ease your cramps. He’s on it so fast!

When he comes back from the kitchen with your tea, he also has some water and painkillers - you’re not even going to question the fact he went through your cupboards for painkillers, you’re just grateful he’s clearly doing his best to help

When he asks if you need anything else - “literally, anything, (Y/N)” - you try to tell him again that he doesn’t need to, you know most guys are super grossed out by periods and you don’t want to put Eddie off of dating you, but he’s adamant he stays to make sure you’re okay

He’s just so attentive??? He takes his coat off and sits on the couch with you, asking if you’d like to watch anything on the television, do you need a blanket, more water, anything to eat etc. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing but he’s trying his best anyway!

At one point he starts telling you riddles to try and take your mind off of it, and even though you’re in too much pain to really focus on riddles, you’re grateful anyway because it’s clear he really wants to help

He gets a little red in the face when you mention you have to go to the bathroom to “change” whatever sanitary product you’re using, but he doesn’t react beyond that, he just excuses himself to make you more tea while you do what you gotta do

As time passes and you’ve been in a relationship with each other longer, he gets more used to the fact it happens once a month and always makes sure he has your favourite snacks or drinks on hand to help you through it

I like to think Eddie might run you warm baths, he’ll give you privacy obviously to take them, but he’s looked it up online that warm baths help ease cramps

He always makes sure you’re all stocked up on painkillers and sanitary products, like you think “wait I haven’t actually bought any of these for a while”, but there they are, because Eddie’s gone out of his way to do it for you because he knows you need them

He likes cuddles anyway but when it’s your time of the month, he’s there like a shot before you even need to ask, he’s definitely enjoying the extra cuddles and letting you curl up next to him for naps, and it’s so comforting for you because he’s so soft and warm and having him nearby when you feel so shitty makes you feel a bit better

You steal one of his plain old shirts or even a hoodie that’s super oversized on you so you’ll be more comfortable, because the smell of him makes you feel so much better - and he is definitely NOT complaining about seeing you in his clothes

I mean, he DOES kill people, so I doubt seeing the smallest leak of period blood on a sheet or item of clothing is going to bother him THAT much??? Idk

Over time, he starts learning more and more about periods in general, and while it’s not the most comfortable topic for him, he starts knowing enough to try and help you through it every month because he hates seeing you in pain so much