#I'm still in contact with some of them
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Izuku: Our off days barely coincide, so it's hard to meet up sometimes. Everyone's been busy!
Some of the fandom: HIS FRIENDS ABANDONED HIM?!
#i hate it here...#y'all hear one thing and take it all the way to the left#I'm sure they still keep in contact#i don't think izuku and the rest of class a stopped talking to each other out of the blue#they probably live in different cities too#remember they all came from different middle schools#so no doubt some of them went back to their home towns after high school#like???#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#deku
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OH NO
#personal#romaheta#rain liveblog#japan gets booted off the game in part 3 already?? damn#he didn't even get to see miku 💔#very intriguing though... i wonder if he manages to get back in it later or if he's just off the game for good as soon as it started#re. the hetaoni lore reveal and how some of the nations might've been just ais with their actual selves already off the program#and how japan was said to already be out (i think? i was a little confused during that part lol)#wouldn't it be crazy if japan was already off the game from the very beginning but unable to contact the ones inside it#and just doing his best to intervene through the japan 'ai' in the game#and that's why he gets some of the strongest clock memories and is possibly the first to pick up on how italy is acting off...#i can't tell if this a serious theory or if it even makes sense just yet i'm just spitballing at this point#still unsure of how i feel about the 'some of them are ais' part of the lore. i have a hard time wrapping my head around how that'd work#unrelated to that but america asking switzerland why he suddenly showed up and switzerland shooting him in response was pretty funny
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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I love trying to do historical research, you want an answer to a simple question like "could Jews serve in the British army in the 1880s" and you get back
Jews in the American Revolution
Jews in the American Civil War
Jews in World War I
Jews who fought for Nazi Germany
Thanks, that absolutely covers the time period and country I specifically asked for, couldn't have done it without you
#nobody wants to give me british military info for ANYTHING between the Crimea and WW I anyway#which is why I'm fucking stalled and can't plot this story any further bc my mc starts the story as a fucking soldier#and if he's still in the military later that will obviously hugely impact the story#but I can't make that decision because my time period is Screwed apparently#even when you specifcially search for FIRST boer war or use the more common 'transvaal rebellion' they STILL will only give info on the 2nd#and yes I've read 2 books about it which are the only sources of info on the war in the entire world and still need more info#but even just trying to figure out if one of the background characters could be jewish or not will never be figured out either#bc any info on the british military-- even its career structure-- is somehow nonexistent#I've even checked my college library#either people are purposely hiding this stuff#or there's some magical code word I have to apply to get even scholarly sources to reveal it to me#attempts to find people who know about it#or even contact a historical consultant have also not worked#historical consultants can only be reached by tv producers who must swear to then disregard anything a consultant might tell them
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I've always felt that it'd be Killua who initiates the first hug we see between him and Gon
#i have my reasons for this#i feel like i'm in the minority though... i know gon is honest and much more emotionally expressive#but he's not actually more tactile than killua#i... i actually do think that it's killua who initiates much of the contact between them (fistbumps and poking and hand on shoulder)#if i'm not mistaken anyways#and he's very tactile with alluka and nanika (carrying + hugs + handholding)#granted that's his sister(s) but still. killua is far from touch averse - his getting embarrassed is a cute trait to be sure#but i do think he'll get a bit better at accepting that kind of thing once he's had some time with alluka and nanika#a lot of that does come after all from his feelings of unworthiness - and now that his sisters need open affection after so long being alon#he's going to have to gain at least some comfort with giving and receiving love#gon and mito go for hugs either at the same time or mito initiates. gon hugs leorio in the scene right after he's revived#but idk idk i just feel like he won't be the first to initiate a hug with killua especially since i suspect he still feels quite guilty#i think it would show growth on both their parts. not to mention it'd be very sweet to have gon a bit blindsided + happily surprised#as he's the one typically honest and forthright with appreciation and compliments while killua is. not. lmao#i think he should receive a nice hug from his best friend. and then i think they would both know it's gonna be ok. :')#storyrambles#hunter x hunter#hxh#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#this is so sappy. what's wrong with me. this is what they do to me.#random thoughts
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A bunch of eyes for relaxation
#I'm currently in the middle of exam season but I actually drew these to destress right before my previous exams!#so yeah these guys are kinda late to the party#I still think about them from time to time so I wanted to share them#Hopefully I'll tag them correctly I know some people dislike seeing a lot of eyes at once#including sometimes me#tw: eyes#tw: eye contact#eyes#eye contact#art#cinnamon's doodles
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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i regularly get tags in my boba fett posts that say something along the lines of "#he needs a hug" so i'd like to pose a question to my fett fan followers:
assuming it came from someone he genuinely likes and cares about (think beviin or mirta), how do you think boba would react to someone hugging him?
#boba fett#(i'm excluding sintas here bc i think his reaction might be different given their romantic history)#here's my personal take:#first reaction to someone coming in for a hug is confusion; why is this person getting so close? are they injured? does he need to move?#hug makes contact. confusion continues.#at some point: realization hits. he is being hugged.#freeze. bluescreen. completely unmoving for duration of contact.#person pulls back. after several seconds‚ brain comes back online. silent alarm bells begin to ring.#why did they hug him?? did something terrible happen? IS something terrible about to happen?!#cannot compute that they've hugged him out of affection/care. it has to be because something somewhere has gone horribly wrong.#at some point might actually ask if something has gone wrong. is unlikely to believe them if they answer no.#spends way too long finding excuses to hang around that person (more than he already does anyway) hoping they'll tell him what's wrong#i'm talking days if not weeks here#at some point: is forced to accept that nothing is wrong and that this person just HUGGED him for... incomprehensible reasons!!!#complete 180. isolation time. still lowkey waiting for something awful to happen.#let's assume it doesn't. at some point‚ reemerges from isolation and tries to carry on like nothing happened#(secretly thinks about the hug for the rest of his life)#and if they hug him again? well brother i think he just dies#(i'm jk but these tags are already too long lol)
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god. i miss my old classmates
#fuzzy squeaks#head in hands. i didn't even LIKE some of these people. some of these people were JERKS#and it's been so long and it would probably be really weird to contact them out of the blue#but i MISS them i miss them i miss them I MISS THEM!!!!!!!!!#fuck.#like. i just. most of the reason that i went back to school for seventh grade was bc i wanted to know what they were up to....#how they were doing... how they had changed...... and i always imagined my future as being partially in the same town w/ the same people#[which was probably kind of silly. i don't think that it would've worked out that way even if we HADN'T moved]#but i just! i just miss them! it's so stupid because i've had CHANCES to talk to some of them before and i haven't done it#and everyone is going to graduate and move away and then i will never see them again#like. i dunno. i hated some of them but i've known them for so long#and one of them waved to me out of the window of his car a while ago and he said hello and it was so sweet ? :(#and i've been looking at photos from last year and one of the kids who was on my basketball team has a Lot of tattoos on her arms now#and my mom heard that one of my classmates was on track to graduate early#and i think that one of the people on my rowing team might have transitioned ?#and i saw a picture of one of the kids who was in my GSA and he looks awesome i hope he's doing well#and i recognized a lot of people who were in choir with me#and i wonder how they're doing and if they're still friends with each other#and i'm worried about two of my classmates and their families bc of ICE and i hope they're okay#and it's so cool that that guy is graduating early#we were the Best of Buddies in kindergarten & first grade#and i wonder if [girl with tattoos] is still annoying#ANYWAYS. got that out of my system. sorry for the long ramble in the tags
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One thing about me is I refuse to text guys first. You, a grown man, want princess treatment? 🤨
#which is why instead of texting him after he hasn't even read my last message on whatsapp from 2 weeks ago i cast spells on him#if he can view my stories within minutes of posting them while following 2k people/5k fb friends he can contact me first 🙄#on friday i'm taking some extra cool selfies out in town and add the sneaky necklace i'll have made of his pick by then#and if he still doesn't i'll continue my nightly rituals it's that easy 🤷🏼♀️#don't come at me with free will and stuff i know he wanted me but i couldn't take a fucking hint when it mattered#at this point i'm kinda whatever about him having a gf too lowkey they all cheat and if i'm his european road gf/side hoe then so be it#ugly and lame guys with no talent and jobs have played me before so if this one does it's at least a hot friend of some of my favorite bands#mel talks
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really devastating for me to consider the reason that maybe i haven't been so actively and violently sad for the last few months is because i haven't been doing any acting lol
#supposedly very good at it according to almost everyone i've ever met who has seen me act#but my body issues will always get in the way and stop me from being amazing#but like. i can't choose to work around them. my body shuts off. and i need therapy. but i'm never gonna get it.#so at some point i will have to make a decision#i think it's also hard when i get a character i'm not suited for because like the people have#a select cast to choose from#like obvs i shouldn't be playing a 60 year old woman but i still feel like i'm doing a pretty good job!!!#in case anyone wants to know the real reason i'm spiraling is bc i made a comment abt not being good at eye contact bc we're doing#a near kiss and it made me feel awkward#and the guy was like yeah i've noticed you hate making eye contact#and i'm like i hope you don't mean in the scene because literally all of those are choices and no one has said anything#LITERALLY HAVING SUCH A BAD DAY AND THEN THIS RANDOM COMMENT MADE IT WORSE#and now i have to go see a 2 and a half hour opera my friend is in 20 seconds of#Sigh#i wish it was apocalypse times. a zombie apocalypse rn would fix me#maia.txt
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#Having a 3.5 year gap in talking to a whole group of people I was incredibly close to and then very very abruptly#wasn't is kinda refucking me up now I'm interacting with them again#like 1 of them I wasn't super close to#but friends#and we were playing dumb 4 players chess with a couple of others#and then 2 hours after finishing for the night#and saying happy new year#haven't seen you since last year#etc etc#was just not gonna interact for closing on 4 years#like it fucked me up a lot at the time#and it's nice to be talking to that group again#but#god it's pulling a scab off#on some levels it's delightfully the same#falling back into old patterns#but also there's just these whole gaps in each others lives#and stuff we're inevitably not gonna remember#I've lived in 2 cities and worked jobs and had relationships that have changed me#I mean I've changed my whole name lmao#like#idk it's just very bittersweet and sad#especially seeing ppl in the discord user list or whatever who I still haven't dared contact#opening the DMs and seeing the last messages are happy new year stuff from that one midnight#I'm not the same they're not the same and we could have changed in each others company#silly ramble#if u saw this before I edited it no u didn't : i starte dit as a post then decided I wanted venty tags instead
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OOH... i might have just come up with a new plot-line for blamore, and it is kind of diabolical, NGL 👀
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#so... just for some background y'all: dorian christensen who is the same person that caused blamore to go through his VERY painful-#transformation had originally made the 'seeds' that blamore is using to give people superpowers but therein lies a problem.#because it hasn't been in contact with dorian since it destroyed the lab that they were performing the superhuman experiments in-#it doesn't know how to make more of them since dorian was the only one who knew their composition. and so blamore only has a limited amount#of them in his possession + he is trying to find dorian because of this atm and is determined to wrench the formula out of him if it-#has to. but what if i told y'all that blamore has not Fully Mutated yet. though it doesn't know that and so maybe#just maybe... blamore has this 'OMG' moment later on where he discovers that he CAN make them itself and doesn't need dorian's help-#so it's free to kill him?? idk i'm just. Having thoughts here but i think it would be so diabolical if Blamore had this power just sort of.#resting in it that wasn't activated yet OR something like that. idk i'm still trying to further out the kinks of it buttt it would give a-#whole nother meaning to his name of 'burgeon' because all that word really means is to grow and if blamore were to able to-#produce them on it's own then that'd both be kind of scary but also advance his character development
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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My friends don't hate me, they're just busy.
My friends don't hate me, they're just busy.
My-
#hitting that fun point where my brain starts insisting that my friends are secretly think I'm annoying#it doesn't help that I'm not getting an answer from like three of them?#which happens every so often#one of them (who was my best friend) actually ghosted me like 2.5 years ago and i'm still recovering lololol#the other two drop out of contact sometimes cause Mental Health Issues#it's just not helping that they both did it at the same time this year#one of them it was like less than a month after i flew out to visit her in person#so that's great#we're like two or three months into no reply from her#and my last friend from high school that still lives in the area doesn't really hang out without me setting it up#i realized that and decided to hold off on asking to hang out after work to see when she would start sending messages#one month in and nothing#i know it's kinda dumb to do the wait to set when they message first thing but I was kinda curious to see#i honestly thought she'd text something by now#instead i'm coming to the realization that maybe i don't matter that much to her?#maybe she doesn't even like me#when we meet up we talk about her work and life a lot but it feels like she doesn't pay attention when i talk about mine#like i'll be talking about work and she'll be on her phone texting her boyfriend#i've made some new friends but i'm no one's best friend#god i miss having a best friend
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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