#I'm sure that i probably should've just been like well if you wanna be on a break bc of this and you can't let me help you then peace out

[house-in-the-backyard-trees]

can i ask why did u guys break up?

we're technically "on a break" while he figures shit out bc his parents kicked him out of their house. This all happened the day after me and him went to a concert together like 2 weeks ago and a couple days after he Said he wanted to go on a break while he figured his life or bc he can't mentally handle everything. He just moved into his own apartment like a week ago and he's starting to talk to his parents again.

[roostertuftart]

Look I dont think youre wrong about people not listening to jewish voices but I am uncomfortable with you advocating so strongly for some groups while being shitty with others like when you liked a post by a racist justifying their use of the nword in the past and never talked about it. Jewish people need to be spoken for but how you pick and choose is suspicious and you cant expect other people to admit their biases when you cant admit your own.

??? Are you seriously trying to say that my concern for someone who was clearly in the midst of a mental breakdown makes it so that I can't support another person trying to speak about how depictions of a character are somewhat problematic???? This is. pathetic but thanks for trying to word it in the most uncharitable way possible lol.

edit: god i definitely worded these tags aggressively so I'm probably gonna make a real apology though I'm not even certain I did what anon is accusing me of??? either way my aggression is more towards them for trying to twist this situation so grossly and not towards anyone genuinely affected by whatever I apparently did (And I am not denying I did... I genuinely don't remember but like... Yeah it was definitely not great on my part if I did what they're saying even if my intentions were different, and the fact that I'm unsure is evidence enough to me that I might have)

Moreover, i have a hunch this anon has sent me bait before and I think it's nasty they're trying to twist an issue about antisemitism into whatever stupid beef they have with me. like... nasty.

Final edit: Any more asks from this anon are being deleted. I wouldn't have even published this one but I feel like that would be sort of hiding any wrongdoing i may have done at any point, but I genuinely do not believe this person means anything they're saying and are only doing this because for whatever reason they do not like me. and I. do not care lol

[toxicanonymity]

Jailbird.

1.5k / Cellmate’s nephew!Joel x inmate f!reader

thank you @iamasaddie for the mood board!!!

PART 2 HERE: Collect calls

Summary: Your cellmate introduces you to her hot nephew and he comes to visitation hours. A/N: Part 1 of 3. This one is due to @beskarandblasters and @wannab-urs and their hilarious list of new joel tropes and @raccoonhandedhottie's nerve to put the idea of doing one in my head. My masterlist WARNINGS: References to sex work, ACAB. Horny phone/visitation talk, mild/non-explicit over-pants masturbation. Mickey Avalon Easter egg.

Without Mabel, you're not sure how you would've survived your first six months in lock-up. You were cuffed for solicitation when a dirty cop wouldn't pay what he owed.  He says he took it easy on you -- you also clawed him and spit in his face.  As soon as you told your new cellmate what really happened, she took a liking to you. She said you should've bitten him in the pecker.   Mabel had been there, done that. She even knew of the cop who put you away.  It wasn't Mabel's first time behind bars. She had the ink and reputation to prove it. Her knuckles said "TAKE NONE" and that was accurate.  By now, nobody gave her any shit. Soon enough, no one gave you any either. 

Mabel had a few photographs on her wall, mostly of her and a younger man. Not a particularly young man, but certainly younger than Mabel. He was probably in his early forties in the pictures, which were five years prior, before she violated her parole. She was giving you a poke and stick tat of a four leaf clover on your hand one day when you asked about the pictures. 

"I was wonderin' when ya were gonna ask about my lil Jojo. I've seen ya lookin' at him, ya little horndog..." 

She let you stammer around in response. "No, I, I'm just, making conversation, wanna get to know you better." 

"It's okay, baby. He's my nephew. All I got left. He's a neat kid."

"He looks happy to be with you–ouch!"

"Don't be a pussy. Oh, he's a real sweet boy. Bet he'd like you, too."

"What makes you say that?"

She looked up from your hand "cause ya got a cunt and you're not bad lookin'," she laughed. "Hey,” she raised her eyebrows. “You ever wanna borrow one of those pics, you let me know, I'll give ya some privacy."

"No thanks."

"Oh, come on. You can fold it so ya don't have to see my pretty face." 

You laughed. 

"Bet he'd dick ya down real good, too."

"What?" You asked, quietly disturbed. 

"He lives with me. Walls are thin." 

"Ah. That must be awkward."

"Not really! We're all human. I could even tell ya the kinda shit he says if ya want. He can get real filthy.  Or shit, I could just give ya his number."

"That's ok."

"Baby, he'd love to hear from ya. Trust me. I've told him all about ya." She put down the needle and picked up a tissue to dab your skin. 

"You have??"

"Oh yeah. Here, I'm gonna write it down." 

She took one of the photos off the wall and wrote his number on the back. Then she folded it in half and winked at you as she handed it to you. 

—----------------

It only took a week of her nagging for you to call “Jojo.” 

Your breath hitched when you heard his smooth, deep voice. The first thing he said was, “Ah, call me Joel,” and you could hear the smile on his face. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” you laughed. “Well your aunt’s told me a lot about you, Joel.” 

“Yeah, I can only imagine what,” he faux grumbled. “Real character, ain’t she?”

“I love Mabel,” you blurted out. 

You found yourself opening up about how in some ways, she was more of a mother figure than you ever had.  Joel was easy to talk to. It just came pouring out. You told him about Mabel’s antics and the mischief the two of you got up to. Things you’d steal from the cafeteria. The way Mabel kept the ladies in line who tried to dom you. Next thing you knew, your time was up.  You apologized profusely for talking Joel’s ear off about yourself. 

“Nahhhh, it was nice,” Joel said. “Hell of a lot more interesting than my life.”

“Well it was good talking to you,” you told him. 

He said, “Hey, call me back any time.”

There was nothing sexy at all about that first conversation, but his voice did something to you.  You squeezed your thighs together when you got back to your cell and looked at the photo. Mabel kept giving you a knowing look. 

—------

You started calling Joel regularly.  Mabel told you he liked you a lot, but you weren’t sure if you should believe her. She seemed overly eager to set him up. The conversations were brief and casual. When you didn’t call him one week, the next time you spoke, he told you he missed the sound of your voice. 

Something came over you and you broke the tension. “My voice?” you asked. “Joel, your voice. . . you dunno what it does to me,” you blurted out. Zero to sixty, just like that. 

“Well damn,” Joel said. “Shoulda said somethin’. Coulda given ya better than stories about Mabel.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like whatever ya want, jailbird.” Your heart fluttered “Whatever gets ya hot and bothered.” 

“Honey, you could read me the phone book,” you told him. 

He chuckled. “Haven’t seen one of those in a few years.”  His voice was sexy to begin with but the sharp edge of the phone connection made it even hotter. 

After a moment of tense silence, he said, “Hey, uh, you notice any of your pictures missin’?”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, Mabel mailed me one. Didn’t tell me you were a fuckin’ smokeshow.”

You laughed bashfully. 

“Well she did. But I had to see it for myself, and shit”

“Well, thanks. You’re not bad looking yourself.” 

Your time was almost up. 

“Hey I’m comin’ to see Mabel later this week. Y’all got the same visitor’s night or what? Cause I’d love to see you, too, if it’s allowed.” 

“Nah, mine’s the next night.” 

“S’alright, i’ll come back for ya, sugar.” Your heart skipped a beat. 

“I’ve gotta go.”

“I know. Be good, jailbird.” 

—--------

It was visitation day and you were getting nervous. Mabel thought it was adorable. She helped you get ready. Did your hair nice. “He’s already smitten with ya, baby,” she said. 

You were escorted into the visitation room and sat at one of the booths, separated by glass, with a phone on each side. 

When Joel came in, you didn’t recognize him at first.  In just those five years, his beard had turned half-silver.  He was striking in person.  He was wearing a tight t-shirt and jeans. Tight jeans. You couldn’t help but size up the bulge in them. 

When you looked up at his face, he was raising his eyebrows at you like he caught you looking.  He sat down and put his elbows on the table. You picked up the phone, a little nervous, but more excited than anything.  He checked you out and smiled at you coyly before picking up the phone. 

“Like what ya see?” he said softly into the phone. 

You replied with a low whistle, then asked, “You always dress like a piece of meat?” He had a few hand tattoos of his own. Faded, blurred together. A spade between his thumb and forefinger. A spiderweb curving around one of his biceps. He’d probably done his own time. 

“When the hell are ya gettin’ outta here?”

“Up for parole next month,” you said. 

“No shit!” He looked genuinely excited. 

“Mabel didn’t tell you?”

“Thought she was yankin’ my chain.” He stretched his free hand behind his head and you watched his bicep.  “You been good? Think you’ll get out?” 

“Haven’t been bad.” 

“Good.” He lowered his voice. “‘Cause sugar, I’m gonna need to see what’s under that garb.”

You smiled with faux shyness, and he continued, “God damn,” looking at you like a juicy leg of lamb. 

You stared at each other, checking each other out for a moment. You watched his pupils dilate as your chest rose and fell with desire. 

You made small talk for a minute or two, all the while fucking each other with your eyes. But, things took a turn again.

“What do you miss the most?” he asked in a low, sultry voice. “Bet ya don’t miss the clients.” 

You shook your head. 

He lowered his voice further. “When’s the last time ya had a nice hard cock ya really wanted?”

Your eyes widened. “Shit, I dunno.” 

“Ohhh you’re in for it.” You looked around, paranoid, in disbelief that you could get away with a conversation like this. “Ain’t nothin’ harder than mine, baby.” He reached his hand into his lap. “Fuck. ‘specially for you.” You could see his arm moving very slowly but there was no mistaking what he was doing.  His eyes devoured you.

“Joel,” you sighed. “Fuck, I believe it.” 

And just like that, a guard approached him from behind. “Time’s up,” the guard said and glared at you.  You rolled your eyes as a guard approached you, too.

Joel said “Later, jailbird” and hung up the phone.  When he stood up, his massive erection was visible and made your heart skip a beat.  You glanced up to his face and he was wetting his lips. He winked at you with pink cheeks and your eyes immediately fell back to his crotch as he adjusted himself and the guard hurried him away. 

FUCK. You were gushing. Mabel’s Jojo. Joel. What a man.

---------

Part 2

Ty for reading. strip club manager!Joel will be an alternate timeline of this Joel set in the past while Mabel was on parole. DIFFERENT READER. preview

this trope actually gave me so many more elaborate ideas lmao.

------

All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @wolvesandvampires @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname   @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot @yourmistysecret

[monnn]

Am I the greatest bastard that you know?

staring: idol! jeonghan x non-idol!, gn! s/o

wc: 1.3k-ish

genre: ANGST. big angry feelings of reader, kinda fluff towards the end?

a/n: hi, ur fav angst lover is back! things have not been great lately and this fic might just be a vent of mine. big feelings and anger is very valid but so is taking a break. hope you realise that and take a break from life to just exist! to whoever's reading this, i love u, let things take time, take time for yourself, stay hydrated and BE ANGRY!!!

divider by @saradika-graphics !!!

song rec for this fic is The Greatest Bastard by Damien Rice!

knowing how stressful going on a hiatus can be, you successfully lure jeonghan into a staycation, away from the city. though han had to be present for rehab, you had checked with the doctor and he was okay with han being away for a weekend. doing nothing was the plan since jeonghan was actively burning out from working hard to the extent that he's injured, so he was looking forward to spend time with his loved one for a while. what neither of you knew was the fight that would gonna pop up at reaching the room. hannie had drove all the way to the hotel since you didn't have a license and all you had done after reaching there was ask what he wanted to eat since y'all had skipped the rest stops.

~ 30 mins before

"hey love, what do you feel like eating? i could order it for us" you ask a very eepy han.

"just anything, i'm okay with anything" he replies and you can sense the exhaustion in his voice. to make sure you don't get him more grumpy, you ask again to confirm if he's sure about his decision.

"jesus y/n! can you cut me some slack? just stop fucking bothering me and order whatever the fuck you want!" he yells, shaking you to the core.

here's the thing - there necessarily hasn't been any major disagreements or "fights" in your relationship, so the intensity of his feelings get to you. but he should've known better than to snap because your rage knows no bounds and hannie does know about this.

"well, fuck you with that behaviour of yours, i'm not gonna be ordering any food!"

"good! because i don't fucking need it anymore either!" he screams, walking away from the room. you had put great effort in picking a room which is right by a stream, surrounded by mountains and a temple on one of the mountains.

trying not to mind the rage and disappointment with han, you chug a glass of water before doing anything. but you weren't gonna let han off the hook because he was having a hard time. the value you hold for yourself is much more important and you've tried so hard to just have that value in your life for so long, hence you are not going to let the love of your life doubt on it. finishing another glass of water, you leave the room in search of hannie with some snacks and a drink.

you are yet find han with the passing time. he wasn't by the stream, hadn't left the premises according to the owner and definitely hadn't hiked up a mountain(cause bro was literally eepy). but the one place you hadn't scraped was the temple, so you hydrate and go on to check if he's there.

in fact, he is there. his silhouette seems regretful. melancholic even. hunched over and zoning out by overthinking. you stomp your way towards the temple, letting him know of your arrival as he fixes his posture and keeps his gaze down. leaving your shoes behind, you enter the temple and kneel infront of han to provide well-needed snacks and water. he whispers a small 'thank you' and you move aside to sit away from him. not that you wanted to, rather wanting to just talk without any physical contact. you see him chug the water and eat his snacks, making a part of you feel relieved. after finishing his nibbles, han thinks he's ready to talk cause he knows it's better to do this right now than to dwell and let it become bigger.

"y/n, i'm sorry. i am not gonna reason myself for my actions towards you but i do wanna let you know i'm really tired. probably beyond exhaustion. i love you but that was really wrong of me to behave that way when you were just trying to make me feel better." he begins.

"okay, i accept your apology. but i'm not sorry because i haven't done anything wrong. and i'm gonna have to get this off my chest cause if i don't say it now, it's just gonna grow and rot in me." you say, stretching out your hand for him to hold. hannie slips his palm in yours and there's a little squeeze from both of you before letting go.

"okay, i'm gonna listen what you have to say and i'm sure i'll have things to say after, but i'm gonna listen to you first." he says, reassuring you.

"thank you. i hope you know that i was just trying to be of help and not a bother. you snapping at me was unnecessary, which you know by now and it scared me han. for a moment, you were an angry stranger to me and it made me so angry too. why? because i don't deserve to be treated like this han, you know how hard life has been and still is for me." you pause, taking a deep breath as you feel tears welling up your eyes. but one look at hannie and you know he's making space for your anger, willing for you to continue.

shit, you really do love him.

"i understand how mentally and physically exhausting things have been for the past week or so. i understand so much han, i really do. but that does not give you any leverage to be rude or angry at me. regardless of the terrible things i deal with in my life, i'm really trying to be positive towards our relationship and this unconsciously might've broken a part of me. maybe i'm being dramatic but my feelings are big and valid. i love you but we'll need to work on this at our own pace, yeah? what do you think?" you finish, catching a breath that you didn't realise was held.

jeonghan takes a deep breath, before he begins. taking one look at you, he fidgets with his phone and tries to talk cause he has to start somewhere.

"firstly, i am really sorry love. i wanna let you know that i regret my actions and shouldn't have behaved that way towards you. it's just been really hard for me to go into a break from being so packed with schedules. i don't think i've rested at all since i started working and it's just a lot. it's a lot because i now am realising the importance of rest and that solely is beyond overwhelming. but now that i'm here, i want to make the best of it and spend as much time as i can with the people i love. again, i can't think of anything other than apologising because you don't deserve that. i have no right to be treating you that way when you've put your complete trust and love in me. i'm so sorry again love, i want to work on this. i'm not sure how but i wanna work on us, with you. i love you." he finishes, letting out a loud sob. you hold yourself back from going and holding him cause he needs this more than anything else.

instead you move next to him, taking one of his hands in yours. hannie turns to look at you and lays his head on your shoulder, not caring about drenching your shirt. you gently caress his hand as he calms down and give him some water to hydrate. disconnecting from your hand, he drinks the water and wipes his face but intertwines your arm in both of his the moment he's done. there's a moment of stillness felt, as he leans onto your shoulder, nuzzling further into your neck. you haven't felt this feeling ever and just being present makes you realise that there is always space to be wrong and learn in love. not sure if it's the same with everyone else, but you know for sure it is with jeonghan.

[crabonfire]

Scout falling for reader

characters: scout

tags: fluff

note: writing this on a whim and ignoring all the other drafts I really wanted to write! also hi :)

I was writing an enemies to lovers but um....maybe later

I have a love for scout okay :( I'm sorryyyyyyyyy ill do full characters right after this one (I'm in a writing mood for once in years)

and of course reblogs and comments very much appreciated <3

♡Scout♡

• You were really the only true friend he had in the base. He considered all the other mercs his friend too but, he knew they'd never really share that friendship. He felt appreciated, and had someone to talk to who would really listen to him, not finding him stupid like the others do.

• He didn't realize he fell for you. The last time he fell for someone he acted shy, aloof, awkward and honestly embarrassed himself a little. He never knew what to say. So it took him a while to figure out he liked you, because whenever you two spoke, words always came so easily to him.

• The day he truly does realize his feelings though, is a day like any other. Your team, victorious, going out for drinks at the local bar. Scout could never handle himself well to alcohol, and you didn't really seem to be a drinker either. You two were sitting outside for the most part, laughing and making fun of the other team, as well as you listened to him ramble on his accomplishments of the day.

• Though, something lingered on his mind. A question he really thought about for a while. He knew you wouldn't judge, so he asked you your opinion.

"How long do you think we're gonna have to do this for?"

• You turned to him, confused. He continues.

"Fighting. Like- how long do you think it'll take before it's over? I'm not sayin' I don't enjoy kicking the other teams ass or the money we get, but well- I don't know."

Anytime he asked this question, Spy, Demo, everyone in the team really, all just said "not to think about it and to do it until it's done." He was never satisfied with that answer.

He saw how you contemplated it for a moment, seeing a small smile curl onto your lips when you looked back at him to reply.

"I don't know. It's probably for a bit longer, I mean- it's been 2 years. Pretty sure there were mercs before us who fought for this stupid war.*

You paused, "Why? You wanna quit or something?"

He shook his head. "Quit being able to kill people for a bunch of money? No way! I just- I think of doing other stuff. We barely have any free time and I don't wanna do this stuff till I'm old or something. And I know old- just look at Spy. He's probably from the ice age or somethin'."

• You snorted, chuckling a little at his comment. He smiled, he always liked to see you laughing at his jokes, made him feel funnier than he really was. You mirrored his smile, turning to look at the road. The night was a bluish gray, a striking contrast to the liveliness and warmth the bar brought.

"I get it."

It went quiet, he wondered if that was it.

"I don't wanna grow old and retire from this job either. But I don't think it'll be so bad."

"Really? Why?" He asked.

• He saw the way you turned to look at him, that same smile he knew all too well, one side of your face shone so brightly under the bars lighting while the other side was slightly masked with moonlight. Your reply was so simple, but it made his heart race.

"You'll be there. And I guess having you around makes things less worse."

• He stared bashfully at you upon hearing those very words. His palms got sweatier than they usually did as he felt his chest tighten. You must've noticed, because you let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Haha- that was corny as hell. Anyway, I'm gonna go get another pack of soda for us."

• You stood up and walked back to the bar, but he couldn't look away from where you sat before. His face felt warm, damn.

He didn't know what it was. Maybe it should've hit him sooner, the fact he had feelings for you. The fact that- whenever you pull him in for a hug, his heart beats a little bit faster. When you laugh with him he laughs just a little harder because your laugh is his favorite. That your playful fighting with each other, it really does mean a lot to him.

All he knew was from that day on, it became difficult to think of you without realizing everything it was he loved about you.

♡♡♡

I don't know how to write endings anyway scout fans here's your food I know it's been a while it's okay mama is here 🫂

and yesssss sigh don't worry there are other fics I'm writing 😪 just...wanted to do scout first as a practice :)

hope you enjoyed! reblogs and comments always appreciated, I'd love to know your own opinions of scout and such!!! #scoutlover

[feverish-cuddles]

Okay I'm really into humiliation + contagion+ mess, so here's a lil scene.

B has come down with probably the worst headcold they've ever had. Definately the drippiest, every sneeze forcing out more snot from the red, swollen passages. They texted A requesting they pick up some more tissues on their way home, and thankfully A listened. When A came home B was in the middle of a fit or well trying to get it out. Holding a tissue to their nose to try and hide all the mess threatening to come out. The bed was covered in used tissues and the one in hand looked like it should've been tossed by now. A couldn't help but grin at this. Seeing the poor thing with tears in their eyes, gasping desperately, their body shivering from not only chills but the need to sneeze! "aaaw my my my, look at you, seems like you really did catch the worst of it, my love." A smirked sliding beside them on the bed with a fresh box of tissues. B sighed as the sneeze fades away again though their face blushed brighter than what the fever gave them. They started sniffling trying to keep back the flood of mess which A caught onto. "You sound rather stuffy, honey, why don't I help you." Opening the box A pulled up a tissue, using their other hand to lower the one B had pressed to their nose. When they did this this had all the snot leaking back down. A then held the tissue just under their nose to catch what was dripping. "Oh look at that poor nose of yours, so drippy and red, it looks so angry too. One sneeze and I think its going to be more than a little mess." B kept trying to sniffle and snort the long thick cords back up, A wrapped and arm around then and gave them soft encouragements. "thats it love, try and sniffles all that back in" "you can do it" "oh there's so much, I'll help you keep it in okay. Just keep going" sdff sdfff sddrrrrck sdck! Finally all of it just barely managed to go back inside. A tilted B's face to make sure. seeing just how full their nose really was. All that snot was blocking B up badly. The nostrils flared widely trying to push the slimy stuff back out, but B did their best to keep it in. "there you go, love. See isn't that better, you did so good sniffling all that snot back in. Should I take away the tissue now?" B shook their head and used their hand to keep A's up at their nose. A soft hitching sound came, A could feel their breathes against their palm even through the tissue. A knew what would happen next, and decided to tease B. "aw is your nose tickling, I bet all that sniffling is making you feel sneezy huh? You don't wanna make a big mess do you? It'd get all over you and that pretty face of yours." B whimpered a little at this blushing harder, they tried to keep a handle on it but. Soon A started to use the tissue to rub a their septum and the tip of their nose. Feeling the soft cloth making teasing circles and rubs at the sensitive and raw skin of their nose. B's mouth dropped right open, their hitches growing desperate as were their sniffles. A could feel the snot beginning to leak out and onto the tissue in their hand, practically pouring out.

"oh it must be so tickly, darling sniffling back all that snot, feeling it drag against the inside of your nose aaaw. I bet its almost unbearable for you, and I know this cold has you sensitive." without a second longer B gasps and sneezed, and sneezed, and sneezed. The sneezes were just a forceful as they were desperate. Their nose doing all it could to get this nasty cold out. Snot soaked the tissue with in the first three sneezes, the next absolutely obliterated it leaving A's palm drenched in spray and snot.

When the fit slowed to a stop, B's nose was trembling, anything could set it off now and it looked like it needed to blow badly. Luckily they had A there to get them through it.

"oh look at the mess you've made darling, you're getting that cold of yours everywhere~"

[judeswhore]

daft pretty boys; jude bellingham

summary: ice rinks, kisses and penguin skating aids

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

requested: no i was simply bored

notes: you can find my masterlist here

"i don't think these are laced up properly, they feel so loose." jude grumbled low in his throat, tugged a little aggressively at the laces on his skates and huffed when he wiggled his foot out in front of him. you hadn't even made it on to the rink yet and he was already pouting, eyeing the ice like it had wronged him in some past life. you wouldn't be so amused by that if it wasn't for the fact ice skating had been his idea, you'd suggested the two of you just walk the market stalls, but no, jude just had to be physical. even if that physical thing was something he was one hundred percent terrible at.

"need me to do them for you?" you teased softly, giggling into your scarf when you jolted to avoid his elbow in your side. jude narrowed his eyes at you, clearly unamused and pulled one last time at his laces. the two of you were perched on a bench just off the rink as you pulled on your skates, your shoes tucked safely away in a locker inside the building. despite it being just a little after midday, it was bustling with children, younger ones with parents, what seemed to be a school trip of ten year olds and you watched your boyfriend's subtle wince as a little boy tripped and almost crashed against the fence behind you.

"we should've just went for dinner." he mumbled, running a gloved hand over his jaw, brow still crinkled in concern. you bit back your smile, pushed yourself up off the bench so you were standing in front of him, body between his legs.

"this was your idea."

"well now i'm thinking it was a mistake." jude was watching you from beneath his lashes, head tipped back to meet your gaze, his hands reaching to settle on your thighs. you brushed your own hands over his shoulders, fixed the hat on his head with careful fingers as his mouth tipped into a loving smile. despite the cold air a flush settled over you when he used one hand to grip your chin between his fingers and tug you closer until he could slot his lips over yours.

his kiss was soft and slow, lips warm despite the weather and smooth from the chapstick you always forced him to use. you almost melted against him, one hand pressed against the back of his head, the other on his shoulder as you breathed him in, savoured the languid stroke of his tongue over yours. he tasted like hot chocolate and your heart fluttered when he squeezed your thigh, a breathy sigh getting lost in his mouth.

“take you skates off and i’ll take you for dinner.” jude was just as breathless, breath hot against your skin when he pushed a kiss against the corner of your lips. with a grin you shook your head.

“can’t back out now, i wanna see your bambi on ice impression.” your smile made him roll his eyes, head shaking as he pulled completely away from you. he straightened out your scarf and the front of your coat.

"can you even skate?"

"yes.." you tilted your head, brushing your thumb over the back of his neck. "can you?"

"probably."

"probably?" you raised your eyebrows at him, stepping back and holding your hands out, smiling softly when he slipped his fingers through yours and let you pull him to his feet. it was your turn to tilt your head to look at him. "when was the last time you actually went ice skating?" jude was quiet for a couple of seconds, clearly contemplating your question and then he shrugged.

"when i was like eight?"

"you haven't skated in over ten years and you thought it would be a good date idea? baby, you know you have like really bad balance right?" that earned you a glare and a light flick to your ear, his hand pressing against your back to guide you towards the gate. "how do you know you won't fall over and break your neck?"

"i'm sure i'll remember the basics. isn't it like muscle memory?"

"i think that only counts for riding a bike."

"it can't be that hard, one foot in front of the other."

"you're gonna slip and fall and one of those snotty kids is gonna run over your fingers." you glanced over your shoulder to see jude's face twisted, his head shaking. he leant around you to pull the latch on the gate and push it open, his hand firm on the railing to keep him steady. the scent of his aftershave blew over you and despite both of your layers of clothing you could feel the heat of his body against your back.

“you’re acting like you’ve won dancing on ice at some point, you’re probably just as shit.” pushing the gate a little wider, he ushered you on to the ice, following close behind.

���i’m guaranteed to be better than you.”

“i literally make a living from my feet.”

“do you now?” jude caught your taunting tone and the flash of your smirk as you leant up against the railing, watching closely as he pulled the gate shut again, a slight wobble to his actions. he threw you a glare, twisting until he was in front of you again, body weight held up by the fence.

“you’re annoying.” you only grinned, sliding your arm around his waist and pressing yourself against him. you tilted your head and kissed his jaw, nosing softly at his cheek.

“you love me.”

“mhm, sure.” his bored tone made you laugh, breath tickling his neck as you ran your lips repeatedly over the curve of his jaw. the hand that didn’t have a death grip on the fence settled on your back and tugged you even closer until your knees were pressed into his legs and your skates were slotted together.

“say it.”

"no." jude's breath caught in his throat when you brushed your mouth over his, his hand pressing harder against you. you planted a soft kiss over his lips, grinning when he tried to chase your mouth as you turned away.

“dick move, bellingham, i could leave you stuck here the whole time.”

“i’m not stuck.” your brows rose, a teasing grin tilting your lips and you pushed away from him, skated backwards to put a few feet between you. you’d moved away from the railing and if jude wanted to reach you he’d have to let go of his lifeline, something you knew he wasn’t going to do because his legs seemed locked in place.

“you wanna race me? y’know, since you’re not stuck.”

“you’re being a bit of a prick today.”

“you wanted to come ice skating! that means you actually have to skate.” a little girl flashed between the two of you and you couldn’t stop your laugh at jude’s look of bewilderment. he turned a glare on you. “i’ll help you if you ask. stop being stubborn.”

it was starting to snow, soft flakes fluttering down around you, catching in your lashes and melting into your coat and you watched as one landed on jude’s cheek. he wiped at it, glancing up at the sky with slightly drawn in brows, his palm tipping up to catch a few flakes on his glove. seconds passed as you watched him, let your eyes trail the curve of his jaw, the smooth skin of his throat and the faint smudge of lipstick you’d left on his cheek. it wasn’t lost on you how pretty he was, it was undeniable but sometimes it still left you dazed, punched the wind from you when he turned that subtle smile on you.

“if i ask you to help are you gonna hold it against me forever?”

“obviously but if you keep clutching the railing like that you’re gonna get bullied by these kids.” you threw a look over your shoulder, watching groups of children skate around each other, giggling and shouting, racing from one end to the other with more confidence than even you probably had. there was a family with twins, both children pushing along the ice with a penguin skating aid. you nodded towards them. “i can get you one of those, y’might have to bend down a little to reach it but you’ll-”

jude huffed loudly and despite his attempt at looking annoyed his lips had quirked into a small smile and his eyes had crinkled at the corners. he held his hand out to you and wiggled his fingers impatiently. “i’m not using a fucking penguin to skate so get over here and hold my hand would you.”

“bossy bossy, keep going and i’ll shove you over.”

“are you gonna help me or not? i’ve been standing here forever.” you could only roll your eyes, skating towards him until you could slip your fingers through his, palms pressed flat together. “just so you know, if i fall you’re coming down with me.”

“you’re not gonna fall but you do need to let go of the fence.” you tugged him a little and jude finally untangled his fingers from the metal fence, his fingers tightening around yours. "one foot in front of the other, remember? it's basically muscle memory." you were mocking him and jude knew it, his flat and unamused look making you laugh.

"i'm contemplating throwing myself onto the floor just so you fall too."

"you talk too much, did you know that?" he huffed as a reply and you threw him a sidelong glance, the look of concentration on his face making your heart thud. his lips were rolled inward, brow crinkled, eyes on the ice in front of him and despite the slight unsteadiness to his movements the two of you had made it almost halfway around the rink. you tried to push your feet a little faster, pulling him along with you.

jude’s fingers had eased up on their death grip on yours and on your third skate around the rink he’d completely let go, hands free at his sides. you skated a little in front of him, spun until you were going backwards and could meet his gaze.

“don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“try some stupid tricks, m’not taking you to the hospital because jack over there sliced your hands off.”

“how would you cope if i didn’t have hands.” someone skated past the two of you, close enough that jude wobbled, his feet slipping on the ice. he fumbled for a few seconds before regaining his balance, a huffed laugh creating a cloud of fog around him.

“this was a terrible idea.”

“why’d you suggest ice skating if you can’t actually skate? you know we could have just gotten hot chocolate and look through the stalls.” the look he sent you was half sheepish, all lowered lashes and tilted lips. he shrugged, reached out for your hand to get you back at his side and tried to pick up the pace again.

“you said you wanted to come and we’ve never done it together before, i didn’t think it’d be so stupid.” something trickled hot and honey-like through your chest, made your tummy flutter and the tips of your fingers tingle, a bashful smile lighting up your face. you’d mentioned once a few weeks back that you wanted to go ice skating again during the christmas holidays but you‘d assumed you’d go with friends, jude had never once mentioned wanting to go with you yet here he was, wobbling around like an overgrown baby giraffe just because it was something you wanted to do.

“considering your entire career is based on your feet it’s shocking how bad your balance is.”

“it’s not that bad, i can roller skate perfectly fine, the whole being on slippery ice thing is just messing with my ability.”

“you can admit you’re shit, this is a no judgement zone.”

“you don’t know the meaning of no judgment, sweetheart.” all you could do was scoff, pulling a little on his hand to drag him back towards the railing. once his body was supported by the metal you watched him sag in relief, the tension in his shoulders easing out just slightly, head tipping back when he let out a long breath. “y’know what? i’m just gonna stand here and watch you.”

“you are not.”

“my legs are like jelly.”

“so we’ll leave.” you settled yourself against his side, pulled at the string of his hoodie with a playful tug when he glanced down at you. “we can grab dinner and take it home, watch a movie?” jude propped his elbow on the fence, his fingers finding your face, thumb brushing soft over your cheek, tracing the edge of your bottom lip.

“my ego feels bruised.”

“baby.” you pouted at the look on his face, the downward turn of his lips and dent between his brows, his lashes glinting from fallen snowflakes. shifting you kissed him softly, let your lips linger, revelling in the heat from him before moving to peck his cheek and jaw, working your way to his ear. you felt him shiver when your bottom lip grazed along the lobe.

“if we go home i can help kiss it better.” jude knew you weren’t talking about his ego, he’d caught the subtle shift in your gaze and the lowered level of your tone and it was obvious your thoughts had wandered down far more inappropriate roads. you pulled back and flashed a teasing smile, pushed away from him and further on to the ice, careful to avoid passing kids. “but you have to skate to the exit first.”

[muddyorbsblr]

the right partner

See my full list of works here!

Summary: You had no intentions of joining Stark's party, considering that your ex had just dumped you two days ago and he was already announcing his new relationship. And then along came Loki, offering to be your date for the night…

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: language (yeah no, not sorry, Rogers); little bit of steam at the end; reader w/ insecurities [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Steve is the ex; Nat & Wanda offering violence to avenge their bestie; borderline dangerous dancing stunts (don't try this at home, kids); coworkers/teammates to lovers

"Babes, stop fussing over the dress. You look hot. It's giving revenge dress if I do say so myself. Everyone covering the event will take one look at you and see without a doubt in their mind that you won this break up. Especially considering how hot your dates are."

Natasha nudged your shoulder playfully, probably in hopes of wiping the scowl off of the reflection staring back at you as you adjusted the strap of your midnight blue mermaid dress, making sure everything was secure and no unflattering angles were even remotely feasible.

Then again you could barely walk properly in the damn thing, so there really wasn't much room for awkward and unflattering, considering that you'd be able to do little more than stand and pose. You'd wanted to trade in the dress for something that gave you a bit more breathing room considering that the man that chose -- well, he'd argue strongly encouraged -- the dress was no longer your date for the night, but your choices would be stiflingly limited with how close you'd have been cutting it if you'd returned it.

Two days to break up, pack up, move your things out of his apartment in the compound, move back into your own apartment, clean up said apartment to make it at least livable once again, cry a bit, and then ready yourself for this charity ball? There wasn't time to return the dress that Steve chose, let alone pick out a new one. Even with the help of both Nat and Wanda.

"Remind me to thank Bucky and Vision for letting me steal you two away tonight?"

"Don't even worry about it. But maybe you could talk to Bucky later and tell him that there isn't even a shred of this that's his fault? He somehow got it into his head that because Steve's his best friend he should have sensed something. Should've told me. Or directly told you. He's been feeling like shit over this whole thing since I came home two days ago and told him I had to help you clean out your stuff from Rogers' apartment and move back into your old one."

Just as you were about to reassure the Russian spy that you would talk to her husband the second you got the chance to when there were no nosy reporters lurking around corners or planting microphones around the event to capture their next juicy story, Wanda walked into the room, her expression colored with a mix of pity and irritation.

"Well he might feel a hell of a lot worse now that he's seeing in real time what his best buddy's been doing since the breakup." Nausea began to swirl in your stomach as they each took one of your hands and the sorceress led you to the conference hall that had been fully decked out for tonight's event. The crowd had gathered around the dance floor, phones out and whispering amongst one another as they looked on the couple in the center.

"Oh you've got to be fucking shitting me," Nat bellowed in outrage, her hand leaving yours and wrapping around your waist to ensure you were still standing straight. "You even asked him point blank about her and he brushed you off--"

"Don't worry about her, Cookie, I'm just making sure she has the best training available to her," you seethed, feeling yourself shaking in your friend's hold as you repeated Steve's words to you just last week. "Babes, I don't think I even wanna go in there. I can already see the fucking headlines. Heartbroken Avenger Y/N Y/L/N seeks the comfort of her girlfriends' company as former lover Captain America debuts his new relationship with SHIELD Agent Ava WhatsHerFace. This isn't worth it. You two go. Be with your husbands. I'm going home."

"Are you sure?" Wanda squeezed your other hand, her free arm already radiating her signature red magic. "I can trip her and make them fall flat on their asses, just say the word."

It took you a great deal to not take her up on her offer, instead opting to just squeeze her hand back before letting go, maneuvering yourself out of their hold. "I'm sure. No tripping anybody, you two. Last thing we need is the internet speculating on which sides the Avengers are taking in what they're gonna try and spin as the breakup that shocked the world, and then making these idiotic theories about how we might cause a reiteration of Germany right here in the Big Apple."

"Okay what if I just poisoned her drink no one would know it was me--"

"Babes, everyone would know it was you," you cut off the spy. "No poison. No tripping. Not even a backhanded compliment. If you really can't stand the sight of her then walk away. Otherwise Pepper will kill us over making a scene over this and I'm not even joining the damn party but she'll drag me in anyway because she's gonna figure out that you two did what you did because of me."

"You're a better woman than that little shit ever deserved," Wanda grumbled, pulling you into a quick embrace. "We'll see you after the party then? Because no way in hell are you sleeping alone tonight."

"After," you confirmed, already walking away from the two as they walked toward the bar to where Bucky and Vision were undoubtedly standing and waiting patiently for them.

You'd walked down a good few feet down the hall when a voice halted you.

"Y/N?" You inwardly groaned at the sound of Loki calling out to you. The absolute last thing you needed was the member of the team who was undoubtedly and objectively the most unfairly breathtakingly beautiful person in all of New York -- hell, in all of the world as far as you were concerned -- seeing you in the dejected state you were in.

You did your best to plaster on a half-smile as you turned to face the god. "Hey, Mischief." You threw him a cursory glance, your heart skipping a good few beats when you registered his bespoke Burnham green tuxedo forming to his sculpted body like a well-worn leather glove. "You look great."

"You're breathtaking," he sighed, walking the rest of the distance and stopping a few steps in front of you. "As you always are." He gave you a curt smile, his fingers visibly twitching in your direction as he kept his hands to his sides. "Are you not joining the gala?"

"Thinking I might sit this one out, actually," you murmured, grimacing at just how miserable you sounded to your own ears. "Considering it doing Pepper a solid and making sure that tonight's all about whatever cause Stark decided to back this time around and not about the untimely demise of me and Rogers. The last thing we need is me becoming the center of attention because the media published headlines calling me the Heartbroken Avenger because I walked in there with my friends while my ex debuts his shiny new toy." You took an awkward step back, giving him an even more inelegant wave his way. "You have fun, though, Mischief."

He took your hand in his as you were turning away from him. "What if I escorted you?" Something with his soft spoken tone, partnered with the way his thumb was stroking the back of your hand, had you struggling to take your next breath. "We could walk in together, and it wouldn't cross anybody's mind to call you heartbroken or lonely or anything of the sort."

You couldn't help but scoff at his offer. "I'm not sure you wanna take on the media vultures who'll write about you getting Captain America's sloppy seconds. Hell, if I walk in there with you they'll think you probably did it out of pity. People already paint me as someone they don't think could have pulled the likes of Steve, but if we walk in there together you'll never hear the end of how charitable you were to--"

"Stop that," he cut you off, his tone sibilant and terse as if he was slicing through your self-pity party for one. "Rogers is an imbecile, he always has been. To have held painite in his uncouth hands and traded it in for mere rubble." He took a step closer to you, making you struggle to hide the shudder than ran through you when you could practically feel the warmth of his body radiating from him. "To walk into that room with you would not be an act of charity, darling. It would be an honor. A privilege."

"Okay come on that's enough--"

"How I wish you could see yourself the way I do," he murmured, his free hand lightly grasping your chin and making it impossible to turn your gaze from him. "Come with me. We'll share a dance and afterward if you still wish to leave then we will."

"Are you insane?" you blurted out, shaking your head at how absurd his offer was. "If you walk in with me and you leave with me, you're gonna find out real quick that people actually can hate me more than they did when I was dating Steve, because now I'm preventing you from getting all the pretty girls' numbers in the party. There are supermodels in there, Mischief. Pretty sure there're some princesses, too. They came here for you."

"Then they will leave disappointed," he answered back, the corner of his mouth pulling in a smirk as he watched your brows knit together in clear confusion. "As for attaining the contact information of, how did you phrase it again? Pretty girls? I already have that of the most beguiling woman who would be in that gala, I truly need no more." He let go of your hand to reach for his phone and tap away at it to call whoever he was referring to.

A few seconds later your little purse began to ring, making you give him a pointed stare. "Smooth." Your phone stopped ringing as soon as he put his away, finding yourself fighting to breathe properly once more when he placed his hand back in yours. "Fine," you huffed. "But we're not dancing, I can barely walk in this stupid thing, the dance floor would turn into a crime scene if I so much as spun wrong."

The soft chuckle that escaped his lips filled you with a weird sense of pride, knowing that even for a few short moment the usually terse god felt comfortable enough around you to seem so unguarded. He released his hold on you to hover his hands by your waist. "May I?"

You took a moment to try figuring out what he meant before answering, "I don't know what you're asking for but alright. I trust you."

His playful demeanor faltered for a moment, eyebrows knitting together and raising slightly before he placed his hands on your waist and gently guiding you to turn and facing the mirrored wall. Your breath hitched in your throat with a squeak as his gaze met yours on the reflection, bringing his face level to yours, his lips hovering just beside your ear. "Beautiful as you are in this dress, darling, you look as if you'd been forced to conform into something you're not. You were made to move freely, as gracefully and as fluidly as you move in the field."

You held your breath as you watched his magic washing over you, your dress melting away from the shoulders down and slowly being replaced with a dark emerald silk gown that stopped just below your ankles, the skirt flaring out from the waist with a slit going up to the middle of your thigh. The feel of your hair cascading down your back had you realizing that you were so caught up in the spectacle of your dress changing before your very eyes that you'd barely felt his fingers deftly taking the pins out of your hair and undoing the tightly knotted bun that borderline violently pulled at your temples.

"Hmmm…much better." You fought against the chill that ran throughout your body at the low tone of his voice reverberating in your ear. "Just one more…tiny flourish." His hand moved from your hair to rest his fingers lightly on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, a slight smile appearing on his face in the reflection when your breathing became audibly staggered as a teardrop emerald pendant hanging off a gold chain materialized around your neck. "Himmelske," he breathed out, the vision of him lightly pressing his lips to the top of your head making your pulse pound in your ears. "Shall we?"

"This is too much…" you sighed, turning around to face him and nearly stumbling over your own feet when you saw how close your faces were to one another.  "I can't possibly--"

"You can, darling." He took your hand in his again and brought it up towards his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles, all the while his eyes never leaving yours. "You look ethereal, like a goddess walking among mortals." He pressed his lips to your knuckles once more. "Min gudinne." He began to walk backwards towards the party, keeping your hands intertwined as he led you down the hall, typing something away a quick message on his phone as the music from the repurposed conference hall gradually grew louder.

Once you were mere feet away from the doors leading to the conference hall, the old-fashioned music that made you want to retch on the spot screeched to a halt, and Tony's voice boomed through the speakers.

"Alright Cap that's enough, some of us actually don't want to see our dinner a second time tonight." The crowd began to chuckle at his joking barbs toward your ex. "Why don't you and your new babydoll take a breather for a minute. Or a hundred. While I go ahead and play on a special request for…well I'll be damned…Reindeer Games."

The sound of Tony's little nickname for Loki had you growing frigid in the god's hold. "Mischief, what did you do?"

Your question went unanswered, him opting to give you a soft smile as he lifted your joint hands up to place a tender kiss to the back of your hand before leading you to the center of the dance floor, the sound of your friends' claps and cheers -- as well as a round of hearty hollers from both Bucky and Thor -- filling the room and overpowering the piano intro of "Tightrope" by Sara Bareilles playing over the speakers as soon as you came into view.

Glares tinged with thinly veiled envious rage weighed down on you like cinder blocks as the raven-haired Asgardian placed his hand on your lower back, bringing your bodies within mere inches of one another. "Everyone's staring," you wavered, trying to keep your breathing even as he began to lead you in a basic waltz around the dance floor.

"Envious, petulant mortals," he answered with a sneer, giving you a small smirk at the end. "Likely because I have the most beautiful date among them all."

"Do gods wear glasses?" you bit back, scoffing softly at his words. "Because I'm pretty sure Adriana Lima is here and--"

"I can see quite clearly, precious mortal," he cut you off, the gentle tone of his voice not once wavering. "Better than you think." He upped the pace of your steps, the smile on his face growing wider as your steps became less structured and he raised your joint hands to spin you on the spot, your dress twirling fluidly with each step before he pulled you back to him, now chest to chest as he resumed leading you in a large circle around the floor. "You seem surprised, darling."

"I usually would have stepped on your toes by now," you whispered, your breath hitching as every step you took together felt perfectly synced, a part of you heavily dreading stumbling and sending you both into a clumsy heap on the floor. Especially with the even closer proximity of your bodies to one another. "Are you doing this?" He answered you with a slight furrow of his eyebrows. "Did you enchant the dress? The necklace? My shoes?"

"I did nothing of the sort, dear Y/N," he whispered into your ear, the feel of his breath on your skin sending your heart into overdrive. "Perhaps you'd simply been with the wrong partners all your life." You faintly registered the way his hold on you tightened the slightest bit. "I wish to prove it to you. A little flourish both for our benefit and for the entertainment of our audience."

A sequence of movements was projected into your mind, each motion requiring complete trust in your partner as you climbed over his back, held up only by your joint hands and your knee braced on his shoulder as he spun on the spot. And then capped off with a dismount that had you hanging upside down and suspended as such for a few moments before righting yourself on your feet.

"Do you trust me, darling?"

You didn't need to think twice about your answer. "Yes." He flashed a brilliant smile before twirling you away and out of his hold, turning his back to you and giving you a silent signal to execute the move. Within a few short moments you were propped up on his shoulder, held up by your joint hands and feeling as if you were flying as he executed each turn with visible ease.

The faces of the crowd, a mixture of pure shock and awe, said it all. No one on the team had ever placed that much trust in Loki, despite the countless times he'd undoubtedly saved any and all of you throughout your numerous missions together. And here you were giving everyone a blatant display that among all the members of the team, you probably trusted him the most.

There wasn't even the slightest tremble in your movement as you executed the dismount, briefly giving them all a face-splitting grin that nearly mirrored the blond Asgardian watching from the bar as he looked on at the spectacle you and his brother had created before turning back and facing your partner. The next moment he'd gone back to holding you and twirling you both around the dance floor with a slight flourish as you reunited.

"There you are, precious mortal," he breathed out, securing his arm around your waist and lifting you off your feet as he spun you both again, the skirt of your dress billowing from the motion and creating a perfect flourish to your steps, earning you various oohs and aahs from the audience. You assumed that the bitter hmph sounds came from your ex and Miss Ava WhatsHerFace. "I've missed seeing that smile on you. It's been months too long. How I wanted to strike at Rogers' face the moment I saw the light in you wavering."

"You saw that?" You prided yourself in concealing your insecurities and the downward spiral that your mind had taken the moment that the new recruit had been assigned to train for the Avengers, painting on a bright disposition despite the interest that Steve had taken in her and the rapidly dwindling attention he paid to you in turn.

It never occurred to you that people might be looking closer than you intended them to. Or that one of those people would be someone you'd carried feelings for ever since long before you and Rogers ever even went out on the first date. You kept on guilting yourself that you were no better than him, if you were being completely honest.

The only leg up you had over your ex was that at least you did right by him and you never acted on anything. But then again you had no reason to believe that you could; in your eyes, Loki had to reason to see you, let alone return your sentiment.

"I see you, Y/N," he murmured, bringing his hand higher up your back, leaning forward, and tilting you backward in a low dip. "I've always seen you." Your heart caught in your throat as you felt him press a soft kiss to your cheek before bringing you both back up to stand upright, a new sequence of movements projected into your mind.

This time of him lifting you into the air, a hand braced on your lower back, the other wrapped around your ankle, followed by a drop that would land you safely in his arms and have the god carrying you bridal style. You could see the silent question shining in his eyes as the projected image fizzled away, awaiting your answer. "I trust you," you whispered, taking a breath as he turned you to face away from him and lifted you into the air with ease.

There wasn't a single doubt in your mind even in that split second where you were falling through the air. You knew you were safe with him. Physically at least.

Emotionally it felt like he was leading you to the edge of a cliff, and you were all too happy to step off if it meant he'd look at you even remotely like he did throughout any point of tonight.

You landed in his arms with a soft, nearly soundless thud, once again met with appreciative applause from the room of onlookers and Tony's voice once again sounding through the speakers. "Jellybean, I take back every joke I ever made about your dancing. Now I know it wasn't you that made those moves bad and that's all I'm gonna say on that. Give it up for these two one more time, ladies and gentlemen!"

A traitorous squeak from the back of your throat slipped from your lips as the god carrying you briefly touched the tip of his nose to yours and pressed a kiss between your brows before setting you back down on your feet, taking your hand in his and lacing his fingers between yours. He led you through the dance floor that was quickly becoming crowded as a rhythmic thumping beat boomed from the sound system, placing you directly in front of him with his free arm wrapped around your midsection.

Once you'd reached the bar, crossing paths with Nat and Wanda and their respective husbands as they made their way to the dance floor, only Thor remained to greet you as you occupied two seats next to one another. "Brother, elation becomes you." Before he walked toward the buffet, handing his empty plate to one of the cleaning staff, he turned to face you. "Take care of him. Actually, take care of each other."

Your brows knitted together as you watched the blond Asgardian walk away, confusion niggling away at your brain as you turned your gaze back to Loki. "What was that--"

The rest of your sentence died on the tip of your tongue as the raven-haired god cupped your jaw, weaving his fingers through your hair, as he closed the distance between you and captured your lips in a soft kiss. You whimpered against him as he stood from his seat, framing your face with his hands as he stepped closer to you, all the while his lips never leaving yours.

He breathed your name as he pulled away, the way that he seemingly sounded almost as flustered as you were paired with the restraint so evident in his hold on you creating a heady combination that made the room spin. "He never deserved you."

Those words had your eyes snapping open, wondering if you'd heard him right. "Loki what--"

"And you should have had someone that treasured you. Worshipped you. That knew with every fiber of his being that he was the most fortunate bastard in the Nine for being the one that you shared the most intimate parts of your life with." Your heart thundered in your ears as he leaned in to kiss you again. "Someone that would proudly show whoever was around to watch that he is equally yours as you are his. Perhaps even more so."

"Are you trying to tell me that that someone is you?" The music had faded away to nothing more than a dull thumping in the background as you looked into his eyes, rife with emotions that you couldn't quite place as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist, stepping closer to you, and leaning in to press a soft kiss to your temple.

"If you would let me," he murmured against your skin. "He was but a fool to have let you go. But if his foolishness leads to my fortune, then perhaps I could be moved to despise him a little less." He kissed a trail from your temple to your ear, making your breath hitch again as his thumb stroked at your side and tracing the faint lines of your ribcage while he whispered a deliciously tempting offer. "Leave with me. Let me be the fortunate wretch that gets to take you home. That gets to worship you, to pleasure you. Even if only for tonight, let me make you equally mine as I am yours. As I have always been yours."

His offer alone already had you trembling in anticipation for what he could possibly have in store for you the moment you gave him your answer. "I have to find Nat and Wanda," you blurted out, making a motion to step off of your seat.

"Y/N please--"

"They offered to stop by my apartment after the party," you explained, mustering the courage to press a quick kiss to his lips when you watched in disbelief as a touch of desperation colored his features. "They wanted to make sure I wasn't going to sleep alone tonight. I have to tell them I have other plans."

A brilliant smile stretched across his face as he pulled you in for another kiss, both of you moaning into each other's mouths as he pulled you against him, lifting you out of your seat and setting you back down on your feet, holding you in his arms the same way he did a few moments ago as you weaved your way through the crowd.

It didn't take you long to find the two women in question, tapping both of them on their shoulders to call their attention. "Rain check on the sleepover?" you shouted over the music.

Wanda took one look at how Loki was holding you and eyed Nat with a smirk. "You got a better offer, I see. Go, babes. We just wanted to make sure you didn't sleep alone tonight."

"Now we gotta make sure you stay awake at the mission brief in the morning because you won't be sleeping at all," Nat capped off with a raise of her eyebrow. She eyed the god holding you with a pointed glare. "If you hurt her--"

"I wouldn't dream of it, Romanoff," he cut her off. "Unlike some people in our non-immediate company, I have every intention of holding on to painite with every ounce of my strength."

Your brows once again knitted together as your friends began to squeal and giggle while you walked away with the god, the alcohol clearly beginning to get to them. "Okay I have to ask. What exactly is painite? You've…said that twice tonight," you prodded, looking up at him only to be met with a tender smile and an intensity burning in his eyes that nearly made you fall over.

"It is the rarest, most precious gemstone on this planet. Perhaps in all the realms," he answered, turning you in his arms as soon as you stepped foot into the corridor and walking you backwards until your back was flush against the wall. "And despite its crimson hue I would still say undoubtedly the most beautiful." You shuddered under his gaze as he trailed a finger from the center of your neck down your torso until he reached your waist and pulled you to him for a fleeting but heated kiss. "That is how I see you. Rare. Precious. And undoubtedly the most beautiful creature I will ever lay my eyes on."

The next moment your surroundings were awash with a wave of his green magic, and you were inside his apartment, your moans piercing the quiet darkness as his lips latched on to your neck and you felt his hands working to divest you of your dress. His next words, rasped against your skin, already had your legs shaking without him having even begun to touch you yet.

"Mine. Finally mine."

A/N: Omg I've finally finished it 😩 And he's precious your honor 🥹 I've honestly had this idea bouncing around in my head for so many days now that I'm so happy that it's finally out for y'all to read and (hopefully) enjoy.

There is a plan for a part 2 of this but it's literally all smut and it's a long ways away because I have every intention to get into 'relinquish the crown' again and also 'back to you'…and also the requests from the 500 follower celebration so just like 'sworn fealty'…it might happen, it might not happen, and that's that on that.

Translations: Himmelske – Heavenly Min gudinne – My goddess

'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95

Loki taglist:  @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @infinitystoner @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration

[riordanness]

my tears ricochet - [p.jackson]

1.3K wordcount

warnings: death, serious angst

requested: no

"Okay, everyone ready?" Percy asked, his sea-green eyes searching the crowd. They locked on me for half a moment, then flitted away.

The campers looked grim, but they all nodded and put on brave faces. This was probably the last battle any of us would ever fight, but we had to try. We were the world's last chance.

Percy grimaced, held up his sword, Riptide, and cried: "For Olympus!"

"For Olympus!" The cheer echoed eerily in the dark tunnel, sounding much louder than us fifty kids should've been able to make.

"Alright," Percy said. "Everyone partner up. No leaving your partner, not for anything. Stick together, stay in sight of other pairs, and keep each other safe."

Everyone immediately started grabbing for their friends, chaos erupting like a bonfire.

Percy moved through the crowd towards me. I managed a smile, but I knew it didn't look genuine.

"Hey," I said, my voice a higher pitch then usual. I shrugged my right shoulder a little. "It's gonna be fine, alright? We've got nothing to worry about."

Percy gazed at the other campers, then back at me. "Yeah... yeah of course."

I reached over and squeezed his hand. "Hey, wanna be my partner?" I smirked a little.

Percy's face melted a little, the smile I loved so much shining through the darkness, just a little. "I guess so."

I scoffed. "You guess so? What, I'm not your best friend anymore?"

He suddenly grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug, arms around my waist. "You're so much more than my best friend," he whispered fiercely.

My heart fluttered, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him tight.

"Okay," I said after a moment. "Let's do this thing. And after, as long as you stay alive, lunch is on me."

I held out my pinky, and he linked his around mine. "Deal," he said, a playful gleam in his eyes.

Percy turned to the remainder of Camp Half-Blood. "Campers! Let's, uh, go fight this dude!"

I smiled. This was my best friend. My crazy sidekick. My laughter. My smile. My reason to live. My everything.

He glanced at me, grabbed my hand, and squeezed it three times. "I love you," he began.

"No matter what," I finished with a slight smile. Sadly, Percy's feelings for me were purely platonic.

He would never admit it to me, but I could tell he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend, Annabeth Chase. She'd left him about two years ago, when her father had dragged her off to Australia.

There was nothing either she or Percy could do about it. They couldn't use phones to contact each other, and Camp Half-Blood needed Percy, so they'd made the decision to break up.

I missed Annabeth. She'd been such an amazing leader, and even though I hadn't known her super well, she'd been so nice to me. I hoped that wherever she was now, she wouldn't mind me loving her Percy.

Percy and I stood back to back, like we had for years. I knew his fighting style so well, and he knew mine just as well.

I gripped the string of my bow, aiming carefully, and releasing it. The arrow soared right into the demon's glowing red eye. Why do they always have to have red eyes?

I cursed under my breath in Ancient Greek. "Dammit," I muttered, biting my thumbnail. I needed to get closer. I needed to get rid of the boomerang thing.

"Percy!" I yelled.

"What?" He swung Riptide into the demon's ankle, cutting a bloody slit. The demon roared in pain, swatting the air in front of Percy, who stumbled out of the way.

"Keep it distracted!" I cried. "I - I think I have an idea!"

His eyes locked with mine. "Are you sure?" His voice sounded shaky.

I nodded firmly. "Yes. Don't worry. I'll come back. I always do. Pinky promise."

I ran to him, linking my pinky with his, giving him one last tight hug. "Okay, now go!" I ordered, pushing him away from me. I couldn't afford to get emotional.

I skirted around the demon's legs, rushing to the back of it. A ruined building lay in pieces, but still had enough intact for me to climb up a fair way. At least two stories, I thought.

I rushed to the building, and inside. A half broken staircase was against one wall, and I hurried up it. At the top, big stone blocks was arranged in a way that made climbing them possible, so I climbed as quickly as I could manage.

I stood at the top of the roof, my t-shirt fluttering in the wind. I brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and drew my bow. I was level with the demon's other eye now. I just needed to get its attention. "Hey!" I screamed. "Ugly!"

The demon turned, and fixed its fiery eyes on me. My insides felt like a puddle of water, but I gritted my teeth and slowly raised my arm, reaching for an arrow.

Unfortunately, just as my fingertips were brushing the arrow, the demon raised it's boomerang. "Ha-di!" It bellowed.

A glowing red picture flashed in the air, and I knew in my heart that this was it, as searing pain ripped through my body, and I collapsed forward, free-falling two stories down.

Pain. Red. Flashing.

My eyes fluttered open, the harsh sunlight sending shoots of pain to my head. I groaned, but the sound that came out was barely audible.

"Y/N?"

A broken voice. Tears. Pain.

"P-Percy?" I tried to say, my vision blurry. My senses were dull; I couldn't feel anything but the horrible pain.

Everywhere. Pain. A bright light.

"No, Y/N, it's okay," my best friend said, as I lay dying in his arms. I had no idea how I was even alive at this point, I'd fallen all the way to the ground. I'd been hit by that magic spell thing, how was I even breathing?

Breathing. Pain. Ragged.

My short, laboured gasps for air sent sharp shoots of pain rocketing through my lungs and chest. My head pounded, and something warm and wet was trickling down my temple. My vision swam in and out, blurry and indistinguishable.

Pain. Crying. Love.

"No!" Percy's voice was becoming more desperate. "No! You can't take her! You can't!" He was screaming at the sky. "Leave her be! Take me instead! You can't!"

Sobs broke out of him, ripping my heart to shreds. "Don't... don't cry for me Percy," I managed. I tried to touch his cheek, but the effort to move made me gasp in pain. It was too difficult.

"Y/N..." The way he said my name, the way his voice sounded, it was like shattered glass.

"Percy," I breathed. "I love you."

"No matter what," he cried, tears in his voice.

"No matter what..." I repeated. I was losing my grip on reality. Already, my vision was slipping even further into total darkness, I couldn't feel anything but the pain. I was dying. I was.

Death. Love. Pain.

"No. No, you can't leave me, sweetheart," Percy begged. "You have to stay, you have to wake up!" He started getting frantic. "Help! Somebody help me! I need ambrosia, nectar, something..."

His voice broke, as if realisation had finally dawned on him. Nothing could save me now.

This was the end.

Campers gathered around Percy and I, crumpled in a heap on the ground. The war was won, the demons defeated, but victory had come with a price.

A sacrifice. A life. A death.

"Someone help me..." Percy sobbed, holding onto my limp body as he cried. "I love you, Y/N..."

My last glimpse of this life were of his sea-green eyes, filled with tears, as they gazed into my own. Darkness filled my vision, and everything went black.

Death. Dark. Nothing.

[peekawoocc]

Law × Reader

Hospital beds

Type - Fluff

Law walked out of his room late that night, the thought that y/n might need to be checked on kept looming over his thoughts. Allowing him to think of little else.

He was in a rush so all he was wearing was an open coat, no shirt, with his gray, black-spotted jeans. It was late, around 1 a.m., to be exact.

Y/n had been sleeping for almost 2 whole days, surely they were about to wake up soon.

Law walked into the recovery room, and looked over to the bed where y/n was laying. He looked down at them for a moment before deciding to try and wake them up.

"Y/n?"

"You feel like waking up yet?"

Y/n shifted a little. Good, at least there's some indication that they're coming out of their sleeping beauty fairytale.

"Y/n?", he said, shaking them a little more sternly this time.

"Hmm..? Yeah?", y/n said, still sleepily.

"Good, you're finally awake,"

"What happened?" Y/n said, a little surprised by the amount of relief Laws words seemed to carry.

"You don't remember?"

"No, not really... I remember I was still fighting one of the enemies...I was in the middle of trying to deliver the final blow and then everything's blank after that,"

"Bepo told me you got ambushed from behind from another enemy. He tried to get to you, but unfortunately all he could do at first was watch. He said when he finally got free he made his way to you as soon as he could. By then you were knocked out cold,".

Y/n slowly started to sit up, Law then reached out his hands to help steady y/n by the shoulders.

"Easy does it, you've been out for quite a bit, don't try to use up too much energy,"

Y/n felt the warmth of his hands on their shoulders. It's been a long time since they felt the careful touch of such a kind gesture. Y/n had always longed to recieve any kind of good attention from Law. They felt the warmth of his touch spread throughout their body and mind, just as they were starting to let their thoughts drift to lovely, lustful fantasies, they suddenly remembered they were staring at their captain, who seemed a bit confused by y/n's long stare.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you were still trying to remember what happened before you got knocked out right?". He removed his hands from y/n's shoulders.

"Y-yeah," they lied, too embarrassed to admit what they were really thinking about, they decided to change the subject.

"Sorry for making you worry about me,"

"I always worry about you, there's no reason to apologize for it. I just want to do what I can to look out for you. You're important to me,"

"Yeah, because I'm apart of the crew now,"

"Not just that, but that is part of it,"

"What's the other part of it?"

"How's your leg feeling? I had to put a few stitches in, you had some really deep cuts in you,"

"Yeah, I suppose I have the enemies swords to thank for that, but...hey! Wait a minute...why did you ignore my question?"

"We can discuss that later once you've healed, I don't wanna put anymore stress on you. We need to make sure you get as much rest as possible,"

He put his hand back on their shoulder and smirked, he knew exactly what he was doing. Oh well, at least it would get them thinking about him after he retires back to his room for the night. He pulled his hand away and started to get up.

"W-wait, where are you going?" Y/n said, shocked by Laws sudden action.

"Back to my room, I really need to try and get some sleep, not that it'll be easy. Never is. You should do the same,"

"But i just woke up! Well, if it wasn't so cold in here maybe i could! Seriously, are we docked near a winter island or something?"

"Yes, actually. Being submerged doesn't really help either I'd suppose. It is really cold, I should've put a thicker blanket on you," Law suddenly paused, and then his gray eyes gently lit up as a thought played across his mind.

"I think I know a way to make it up to you. It'd probably be beneficial to both of us, actually,"

"What is it?"

"We could sleep together,"

Y/n suddenly became flushed at Laws very forward suggestion. Realizing that what he had said didn't come out right, he began to feel the blood rush to his cheeks as he put his palm on his face. Trying to cover up some of his embarrassment.

"I-....uh....I meant that we could sleep in the same bed. I didn't mean to imply...that...".

Glad that he gave a bit more detail to what he originally meant, y/n started to calm down a little, and with a flustered sigh said, "Um....well...alright. I suppose it wouldn't hurt. It is really cold, and if it'll help my captain get some rest then I suppose..."

"Ok...um...could you turn around please?" He said, removing his palm from his face.

"Turn around? Why?" Y/n asked, wondering just what exactly he was planning to do.

Law let out an annoyed sigh and said, "Well, unless you want to see me strip,"

"Huh!?!"

"Sleeping in jeans doesn't exactly sound too comfortable,"

"I guess thats true,".

Y/n suddenly turned on their side, still a bit flustered. As they laid there, anxiously waiting for Law to get into the small bed with them, they began to notice the sound of Law stripping. First, the sound of his coat dropping to the floor. Then, the sound of him unbuckeling his belt and letting his jeans hit the floor. Finally, y/n fully realized the meaning of what was about to transpire. He's about to get into bed with me. Wearing nothing but his underwear. In this small bed. There's no way we won't be touching in this small space. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FALL ASLEEP LIKE THIS!?!

Y/n suddenly came back to reality as they heard Law crawl into the small bed as a slight cold breeze grazed their leg from him lifting the blanket. The tension in the air was thick, y/n tried so hard to not think about what was happening, but due to the closeness between the two, all of that came to a crash as they felt Laws breath on the back of their neck. Law spoke up.

"I didn't realize how small this bed would be...if you're uncomfortable like this, I understand,"

"N-no, no....it's ok...I didn't really think we'd be this close either, but...uh...,"

Y/n was completely flustered, and didn't completely fathom the fact that they were saying the thoughts coming to mind, "It is a lot warmer now. I can't say that being this close displeases me, or anything. I never thought something like this would ever happen,". Y/n always had fantasies that something like this could happen, but only in their dreams. Had all those times that he glanced their way have been real, and they weren't just hopefully imagining it. Did he really think of them in the same way. Did he feel the same way?

So many questions had flooded their mind until they felt a sudden urge to have that very question answered.

"Hey, Law?" Y/n said, turning over to face the handsome man.

*Snore*

Y/n stared, completely dumbfounded. Here they were. Finally gaining the confidence to ask Law such an important question, and there he is. Out like a light. Y/n couldn't stay annoyed for long though, as they stared at the lightly candlelit face of their captain. He rarely ever showed such a peaceful expression. Y/n stared at his face, admiring every detail. Slowly looking down his face, to his neck, to his tattooed chest. Watching as it rhythmically rose and fell. He always works really hard and doesn't get much sleep. So y/n continued tracing all of his features with their eyes until they felt their mind fade to ease.

Bepo had been looking everywhere. Where could his captain be? When he last saw Law he was making an inventory list of supplies they would need to restock on after their last battle. As he stood for a moment trying to think of anywhere he hadn't checked, he had a sudden realization. The recovery room! Bepo quickly ran their as soon as possible. He must've went to check on y/n after waking up.

As he opened the door, he was met with a closed curtain, he knew Y/n was behind it, but were they awake? Was the captain behind it with them? "Um...y/n? Captain? Captain are you there?"

"H-huh....*yawn*...yeah?" Law growled annoyingly in a mixture of not wanting to wake up and also not wanting to leave y/n's side.

"Um, captain, what're you doing here?"

"I came to check on y/n, I'll be out in a little bit,"

"Oh, ok...".

Once Law heard the door close he sighed in relief at finally being alone with y/n again. He knew Bepo was just doing his job, he just wasn't a morning person.

Y/n slowly coming to their senses, started to open their eyes. There he was, in all his smirking glory.

"Morning sleeping beauty,"

That was it. That was all it took for y/n to be all flustered again. They covered their face in embarrassment.

"You're already awake?"

"Yeah, thanks to Bepo,"

"Oh, I should've said 'good morning' to him. Wait...did he see us...like this!?!"

"Calm down. No, he didnt,"

"Ah, ok...".

They laid there in silence for a moment, enjoying eachothers warmth. Y/n started to wonder, "So, does this mean something to him, like it does to me? Was he really that cold or was there more to it than that?". As they sat there in thought, Law began to speak.

"How did you sleep? And how's your leg feeling? Any soreness?"

"It feels a little sore, it's bearable. I slept ok, but it does feel a bit cramped in this bed,"

"Yeah, next time we should use my bed,"

"Huh...n-next t-time?"

Law blushed, not aware of what he had said until it was too late. He sat up so y/n couldn't see is face.

"Uh, well, if we ever get this close to a winter island again, I wouldn't be against it..."

"U-um, ok. That doesnt s-sound like a b-bad idea,".

They went back to silence yet again, this time it felt more tense than peaceful. Y/n finally sat up. Now shoulder to shoulder with Law. They glanced up at him, trying to find an icebreaker, but then he spoke.

"Well, I guess I should go find Bepo now. We might need to do this again on a night when I can't sleep. It was actually really nice despite the tight space,"

"Yeah, I guess I should probably go get some food,"

"You think you'll be able to walk on that leg?"

"Won't know til I try,".

Y/n went to get up, confident they'd be able to stand. It was a natural motion, why wouldn't they be able to get out of bed? All that confidence went to pieces when y/n started to stumble and lose their balance. Luckily, they fell back to land on the bed before going down. Falling slightly on Law, y/n was met with an annoyed look from the grumpy cat.

"You really need to be more careful! I'll have Ikkaku come bring you breakfast. Stay in bed til you can actually put weight on that leg,".

Y/n nodded, smiling while being a little embarrassed. Law got up and went to his discarded clothes he had left on the ground. Y/n quickly looked away out of a mix of respect and embarrassment. After getting dressed, Law headed towards the curtain, opened it, then headed for the door. All the while y/n was getting readjusted to the newfound space that they had before last night. Even though now y/n could spread their arms and legs out more freely now, they couldn't deny that they had missed the previously taken up space. Y/n laid there, awaiting food, consumed by the thoughts of the slender, dark-eyed captain.

[heavenlycloud]

quit: park sooyoung x fem! reader

⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

cw// toxic relationships, HEAVY smut, swearing, situationships / fwb, manipulation, crying, NSFW again

men and minors dni!

a/n: i saw this pic of joy while looking for new layout pics and i couldn't help but let my mind wander...plus i've been dying to write something for this song. i'm still getting used to writing nsfw so pls be nice :) feedback would be greatly appreciated since this is my first time posting nsfw on my blog

and you say that i'm the devil you know and i don't disagree. no, i don't see the harm...they say, "you crazy, just leave him, he'll suffocate you" but i wanna be in your arms...

everyone in your friend circle warned you about her. they told you she would do more harm than good. they said she's not genuine, that she's only after one thing, sex. it'd be a lie if you said you didn't believe them because you knew getting involved with her was a disaster waiting to happen. however, there was something about her that was so addicting and you weren't ready to give up the drug that she was...you probably never will be. she's just that damn good.

they say, "no, don't pick up the phone, let them think there's nobody home" but i'm under your spell... 'cause when you call my heart starts to roll, i always want more, it's my heaven, my hell...

your bedroom window blew cool, night air into your apartment as you sat on your bed. you mindlessly ran your fingers along the cords of your electric guitar playing the first song that came to mind. surely the residents in the floors above and below you would complain about being woken up to kiss it better by rihanna, but you didn't care. it was well past one in the morning and you should've been asleep but here you were.

right as you finished the end of the chorus a muffled humming sound came from between your bed and pillows. you didn't even have to check to know who it was, and you definitely knew you shouldn't answer. all of your friends told you to ignore her calls, let her think you're not around so you ignored it. instead of calling again, you heard a loud knock at the front door of your apartment. ignoring the advice of everyone else and your own intuition, you got up and answered the door.

we're heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet. but i can't hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine...

sooyoung stood in the doorway looking like an abandoned puppy with her hair damp and wearing a sullen face. her eyes were red with her tearstained cheeks and swollen lips, "h-he broke up with me..." her voice cracked and she hiccupped between her words, the same ones you heard at least twice a month.

the opportunity to turn her away was still there but when she looked up at you with that same damn pout, it was over. without missing a beat you pulled her into your apartment and closed and locked the door behind you both. you led her to your room where your guitar and amp had been pushed off to a corner, leaving your bed open.

she walked into your arms and gripped onto the back of your shirt as she sobbed, "i-i hate him so much." you pulled her into your chest and agreed, "i do too." sooyoung pulled away from you and bunched her hands in the hem of your oversized t shirt, "i need you, y/n. please... "

i can't quit you, i can't quit you...yeah, i'm gonna regret it... know I'm gonna regret it.

god does she know exactly what to say especially with that stupid pout you always give into. you bring your hands up to hold her face, and gently wipe her tears away with your thumbs. sooyoung leaned into your touch and kissed the inside of one of your palms sweetly. you swiped your thumb across her lip slowly dragging the motion out and she sucked your finger into her mouth. her soft tongue swirled around your skin and you affirmed, "i'll make you feel better i promise. let me take care of you, baby."

when you said, "baby, i just want you to lay me down and we'll fuck the pain away" 'cause skin on skin, i feel nothing but the burning of desire and that's just foreplay...

you pressed your lips against sooyoung's and she melted into your touch with ease. her arms slipped from inside her jacket and you tossed it aside. you found the zipper on the back of her dress and unzipped it slowly, letting the material hang from her body before completely dropping to the floor. she stepped out of the skirt and kicked it aside to another spot on your floor. your lips pressed against her neck until you reached her collarbone where you stopped.

sooyoung whined at the loss of contact and you smirked to yourself in satisfaction. you stood behind her and lifted her chin with your finger to angle her gaze to your wall length mirror. sooyoung stared at herself right as you unclipped her bra and let it fall away. one hand rested on her waist while another on her shoulder. you ran your fingertips down her arm and she let out a soft gasp.

your breath ghosted her neck as you said, "look at how pretty you are." she shyly turned her face into your neck and one hand found your wrist as you moved your other one to her panties. the hand on her chest teased her breast, tugging at one of her nipples eliciting a high pitched sound from her, "a-aah." you smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, before holding her head up so she could see herself. your free hand slipped into her panties and with the lightest of touches, ghosted her dampened folds.

sooyoung squeezed her eyes shut and you clicked your tongue, "ah ah, look at your reflection. see how pretty you look?" her eyes slowly opened and you began rubbing slow circles around her heated center, ignoring where she needed it that most. sooyoung pleaded softly, "y/n...please." you hummed and dragged your thumb against her clit, making her knees buckle underneath her.

her weight rested on you and you smiled, "so needy and i haven't even done anything....do you know how much i love seeing you like this?" she didn't reply as you continued drawing patterns against her soaked pussy. she looked at you in the mirror and said, "y/n please." you slipped your hands from her panties and admired the sheen of slick. teasingly you brought them up to sooyoung's lips and watched her mouth fall open, just for you to lightly swipe her bottom lip and put your fingers in your own mouth.

you sucked her essence off of your fingers and hummed in satisfaction. watching as sooyoung pathetically licked her bottom lip for the smallest taste of herself, and feeling her sigh in relief against you. gently, you backed her against your bed and let her fall into the plush warmth. she was completely engulfed in your scent making her yearn for your touch even more. she looked up at you with those same doe eyes, searching for any signs of continuing your ministrations.

an airy gasp left her lips as you pressed the softest of kisses along her chest. you brushed your lips across one of her breasts and gently kissed one of her nipples while you free hand traced around the other. sooyoung let out a frustrated grunt as her chest pushed up for her hardened bud to meet your lips which only made you laugh. she breathed out, "please i need you..." you kissed the side of her breast and smiled, "you have me." she shook her head and repeated with more want, "no i need you to touch me."

looking up at her you pressed more kisses along her breast, swapping to the other before you asked, "where do you need me, baby?" sooyoung bit her lip as you sucked on her nipple and tugged on it with your teeth. when she didn't reply, you pulled away and started to move from atop her. in a panicked effort of desperation she snatched your hand into her own, and lowered it to her soaked heat, "here, i need you here." only then did you climb back over her and kiss down her toned abdomen, suckling marks and bites into her plush skin.

sooyoung spread her legs and let you settle between them, flinching slightly when your hand palmed her inner thighs. you ran your thumb over her heated flesh and nicked the surface with your teeth. by now you could smell how bad she wanted you and she was nearly shaking with desperation. just to put her on edge further, you kissed right against her folds, just missing where she wanted you most.

you coaxed smoothly, "tell me what you want, use your words, angel." sooyoung's voice came out just above a whisper as she said, "your mouth, please." heat flushed over her face when she looked down at you between her legs just in time to see you place a kiss to her clit. her hands flew to the top of your head just for you to slip one of your hands into her own.

the heat of your tongue against her molten center sent her eyes rolling to the back of her head. you laved through her folds hungrily tasting her as if she were the forbidden fruit from the heavenly garden. sooyoung breathily gasped and whined beneath you which sent a wave of confidence through your body. you let out a low moan, "you taste so good..." and it took everything in her to not let go right then and there. one of her hands fisted you soft bedsheets while the other squeezed onto yours, fingers intertwined with your own. when you gave her swollen bud another light suck she held her breath until she couldn't anymore. her body stuttered for a moment and a high pitched moan fell past her lips.

your fingers slipped into her heated core, helping her ride through her high before slowly kissing up her body to meet her lips. the taste of herself lingered on your tongue and filled her mouth, making her moan weakly. you brushed a piece of hair from her face and smiled softly, "my pretty girl." sooyoung's face twisted up at the nickname and she mumbled, "that's what he called me too..." immediately a pit of aggravation filled your stomach and you leaned closer to her, lips barely touching hers, "you're thinking of him when i'm right here?"

out of pure frustration you pushed her lightly away from you and started to get up, not knowing why you even bothered because she was always like this. no matter what you'd done in the past she always ran back to that bum ass man of hers. sooyoung grabbed your hand and pleaded, "no wait- please. y/n i'm sorry i just want you...it's always been you." she was too damn good at saying what you wanted to hear because no part of you genuinely believed her last words, yet you found yourself crawling back over her ready to make her mean what she said.

this time will be different.

we're heading deep inside lives a voice, a voice so quiet. but i can't hear that voice when your heart beats next to mine

you kissed her on her lips again and pushed her back down into your bed as she stared up at you. there was a specific hunger in your gaze that she'd never seen before that had her more excited than before.

i can't quit you, i can't quit you. yeah i'm gonna regret it, i know i'm gonna regret it

sooyoung's legs fell back open as you made your way back into the same spot before, kissing her swollen bud and laughing when she jumped. she rolled her head to rest on her shoulder and whined, "n-ngh i- wait i'm still sensitive..." you looked up at her through a hooded gaze, "i don't care. you look so beautiful under me." you connected your lips to her heated core and sucked harshly. her thighs closed around your head and you pushed them back open with enough force to make her whimper.

your fingers prodded at her entrance, your tongue dragging from her slit up to her engorged clit. sooyoung's hands violently fisted the sheets as she tried to hold out longer. but you were no match for her as you knew her body like the back of your hand. her second climax came and her sweet honey oozed from her center and onto your tongue. you sucked more into your mouth without wasting a drop before holding it there. she watched in near horror as you made your way up to her, tapping on her chin wordlessly.

sooyoung's lips parted and you stuck your sopping wet fingers into her mouth, drool running down her lips. when you withdrew them, you held her chin and tipped her head back slightly before spitting into her mouth. the mixture of your saliva and her slick filled her mouth, and she swallowed it without hesitation. your fingers massaged her soft pussy, making her begin to close her legs again. you looked down at her and said, "be good for me, open your legs." she followed your orders and squeezed her mouth shut as her thighs began to shake.

you looked at the tears that began to fill her eyes, only smiling and rubbing her center harder until her tears fell. she craned her neck up to meet her lips as you began to lean down, but instead you dragged your tongue along her smooth cheek, licking the trail of tears from her face. you laughed as she began to squirm more, beginning to beg, "i- y/n i- something is...i can't please-" you pushed your fingers further into her heated center, letting your thumb lightly bump her clit.

she began to close her legs and you pulled out of her and quickly reached forward. you laughed in her face as tears fell from her eyes and she nearly screamed, her swollen nub squeezed harshly between your thumb and pointer finger. sooyoung begged you, "ah- i- y/n-" you silenced her with a kiss and let her go, watching her sigh of relief only briefly until you pushed back into her.

you looked her in the eyes and told her firmly, "you can take it sooyoungie." her swollen pout and pleading eyes found yours and she repeated to herself pitifully, "i can take it. i-i can take it." you kissed her lips and cheek as you drew her only seconds from her third orgasm, "such a good girl for me huh?" she nodded eagerly as tears fell from her eyes and you kissed them away, "such a pretty girl when you cry for me. my pretty angel, my sooyoung." that moment the last name fell from your lips you felt her walls squeeze your fingers and push them out.

a stream of clear liquid leaked from her pussy as she shook beneath you, her own hand finding her clit and massaging it through her orgasm. you didn't hesitate to go down and lick up her mess, humming at the salty taste that was so uniquely hers. a taste you'd found yourself addicted to, always craving for more.

i can't quit you, i can't quit you, oh baby. i can't quit you, i can't quit you, oh babe

sooyoung pushed your head away and you kissed her inner thighs that were still slightly shaking. she had her eyes closed in a fucked out bliss that only you'd ever given her. you smirked to yourself and asked her sweetly, "who's on your mind now, angel?" sooyoung's eyes opened weakly and she hummed, "hmmm? s' you....only y/n. only want y/n." you placed a kiss on her cheek and laid beside her before she curled into your arms, tucking her head into your side. as you thought you'd finally won, sooyoung was beside you smiling to herself because she was the only winner, she always was.

you were only a pawn in her little game but she'd be lying if she said you weren't her favorite player. all this time people told you that she was obsessed with you, the idea of you. but in reality you were addicted to all of her, just another person hooked on the thought of winning the game. always under the impression that you were closer and closer to winning the grand prize, winning her over. but in reality you were just another piece in her puzzle. nevertheless, you'd never quit all that was park sooyoung.

i'm gonna regret it babe, babe, babe, gonna regret it, yeah, i'm gonna regret it...

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 95... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

We are FINALLY BACK BABY!! And this chapter was AN ABSOLUTELY FUN ONE!! 😆😆😆

It's been six weeks since the last chapter, so I feel a little rusty at doing this...!! 😅 But anyway, we are finally gonna see the End of Class Gala that was mentioned all the way back in Mission 36, so let's discuss Mission 95, shall we? 😁

Becky notices a guy asking a girl to go to the End of Class Gala with him, which reminds her that the Gala is coming up soon...!! Anya, being Anya, asks if there's gonna be cake, while Becky wants to ask Loid to go to the dance with her (only for Henderson to dash that dream immediately...!! 🤭) Emile then asks Damian if he's gonna invite someone to the dance, Anya over hears this and thinks that this is a great opportunity for Plan B to move forward, so...:

SHE ASKS HIM TO DANCE WITH HER AT THE PARTY AND OF COURSE DAMIAN REJECTS ANYA'S OFFER...!! 😌

Then, it's the day of the Gala and...:

BECKY LOOKS SOOO ADORABLE IN HER DRESS!! 😍

And though Martha was just gonna drop Becky off, Henderson asks her to volunteer and she agrees to do it...!! 😁 (I still REALLY want to know Martha and Henderson's history together...! 😄)

At the party, we find out from Henderson that the whole grade is here meet and greet with other before everyone has to switch classes (hopefully Anya, Becky, Damian, Emile and Ewen will still be in the same class together...!! 🤞) And then, we see Damian's fit for the pary...:

Damian is looking like a mini James Bond in that tux!! SUPER SUAVE MY BOY...!! 😎👍

Then, Anya arrives and...:

MY BABY GIRL LOOKS SO DARN PRECIOUS THAT MY HEART JUST CAN'T EVEN TAKE IT...!!! 💗😭💗

Moving on from me being an emotional for my baby girl, one of the teachers announces the first party activity and which ever class wins gets to stay in the imperial scholar's private lounge for the day...!! 😲 I thought that this might be another opportunity for Anya to run into Demetrius again, so I was hoping for Cecile Hall to win!! 😆 But after all the games, that hope of mine was dashed because Villiers Hall won the prize...!!

(Well, at least we got to know that Mr. Green's first name is Custos from this...! 😌)

Now it's time for the dance and every is looking for a dance partner!! 😁 And I probably should've already known this, but Twilight is here to help Anya out...!!:

Damian gets bombarded by a bunch of scummy brats that only want to get close and dance with him because of who his family is, while Anya on the other hand...

...seems to be getting some genuine offers from some boys to dance!! 😁 (Heck! Even the kid that ranked first in the Classical Language test, Arnold Crowley, asked Anya to dance with him...!! 😄) But since getting close to Damian is Anya's top priority, she declines the other boys' offers. And because Damian has so many girls that want to dance with him, Emile and Ewen step in to help their boss man!! 😎

But try as these other girls might...

...Anya (with Twilight's help) will be the one dancing with Damian tonight...!! 😤

And that was Mission 95 and it was a great chapter to come back from the hiatus with!! 😆 I am so glad to finally see this Gala happen after all time, but I'm still worried about where everyone in Cecile Hall is gonna end up... 😩 But besides that, I can't wait to see what kind of wacky things Anya (and Twilight) are gonna do to make sure that she gets to dance with Damian!! 😆

Anyway, I think that's pretty much all that I wanna say about this chapter...!! 😁 So until next Mission; take care, be safe out there, and be kind to one another...!! Later!! 👋😊

[yeahyeahchloe]

It Wasnt in my Head (4)

(a/n: pls lmk if u see any typos! )

Summary: Abby is the starting linebacker at UW and when her team starts to falter her coach decides to get the team into ballet, in order to teach them that grace and stability is important in football too. Abby is just as upset about her teammates about this, until she sees her pretty new ballet teacher...

dancer!reader x football!abby

!!ABBY IS STRAIGHT IN THE BEGINNING. READER IS HER GAY AWAKENING!!

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

The light of my slightly opened blinds shone through onto my eyes. The birds were chirping and the sky was a lovely light blue.

And I was pissed off and hung over.

I decided now that its 10 am I should probably pick up Dina's incessant calling and answer Ellies 'im sorry i got u fucked up' text.

My dimly lit kitchen smelled of lavender and burnt toast as I dialed Dina's number and listened to the tone ring.

Oh, so now she isn't going to pick up?

"Hey, D," I said when the ringing stopped.

"Ugh, finally!! I've been calling you all morning," Dina scolded me as if I wasn't so obviously hungover.

"Yeah believe it or not I know,"

"Ok, so, I called to ask you...something,"

This tone with Dina was never good.

This tone means Dina is up to something.

"Oh, jesus, ok what,"

"So, my master plan went perfect last night, and I saw you talking to our new favorite muscle mommy-"

I cut her off by saying "Oh, that was your master plan? It had nothing to do with leaving me to fend for myself so you can make out with Jesse on a couch?"

".....No?"

I let out a quick exhale through my nose, "So whats the question?"

"Obviously my question is: How did it go?"

I sighed and thought back to my interaction with Abby the previous night. "Good. No, bad. Well, good and bad. Gad,"

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

"You knowww, we like talked for a bit and got to know eachother, but the heartbreaking news, is that she is not a carpet muncher,"

"WHAT! NO WAY!"

"I KNOW. You should've heard me she was all: 'you're gay?' and I went: 'you aren't??'"

Dina snorted into the receiver as I laughed along with her.

"Well shoot. That's a bust," She said, still chuckling. "Hey, wanna go to Laverne's? I'm craving pancakes and french fries real bad,"

"Yes please, 'vernies is the best hangover cure"

"Kay, Ill be at your place in fifteen,"

I hung up the phone as my kettle began to whistle at me from the stove.

I walked over, grabbing a mug on the way and poured in the boiling water. I grabbed my favorite tea and walked into my bathroom to help myself to look slightly more presentable.

Jesus I looked like shit.

I began brushing my teeth before there was a knock at my door.

I rolled my eyes at Dina's overestimate of arriving in "fifteen".

"Dina you said fift-" I cut myself off as I swung open the door and was not met with Dina's face.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Abby fucking Anderson was standing at my front door (looking handsome as ever of fucking course) while I looked like I had just crawled out of the sewers.

"Hi" She awkwardly said with a half smile.

"Oh, hey Abby,"

There was a moment of awkward silence before Abby seemingly jolted in memory of why she was at my door to begin with.

"You, uh, left this on the chair you were sitting on last night, figured you might be looking for it," She said, pulling my pink hello kitty wallet out of her strangely large pocket.

"Oh, shit, thanks Abby," I answered before grabbing my wallet back. "I guess that's pretty important,"

Abby exhaled through her nose in a chuckle. "Yeah well I cant be your knight in shining armor every time. Last night hitting hard, huh?" She looked my slightly up and down teasingly and I suddenly felt very aware of my messy hair, thin sleep tank, and pajama pants.

"Yeah yeah I'll be more careful. Thank you again."

"Yeah no biggie. Um, I gotta run, but I'll see you?"

"For sure, see you Abby,"

We smiled at each other before I shut the door.

Oh my god that was so embarrassing.

I glanced at the time and realized I didn't have long before Dina actually got here.

After fixing myself up and being halfway dressed the real Dina knocked on my door. I shouted a "just a sec" before throwing on my jeans and getting my things and opening the door.

"Hi D,"

"Hey sweets, how ya feeling?" Dina teased with a smirk.

I gave her a playful eyeroll accompanied by a middle finger.

She threw her head back with a laugh and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I told you not to do that shit anymore,"

"Yeah well after my wakeup call this morning I won't,"

'You're welcome,"

I sighed before replying with "Not yours, although that one was miserable too,"

"Oh? What wakeup call are you referring to, then?" She asked, turning her head in my direction.

"Ugh I'll tell you at Laverne's,"

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚

The familiar diner smelled like coffee and pie as it welcomed my senses.

Dina and I made a beeline for the back of the restaurant, where our usual table resided right by the kitchen door.

We plopped down in out usual seats and told the waitress our orders before Dina shot me a look.

"...What?" I asked looking around.

"Helloooo, your 'other wakeup call'??" She said looking at me as if I was stupid.

"Oh! Right right, well I had gotten your call, right? And no kidding like two minutes after we hung up there was a knock at my door, so, obviously I thought it was you and answered the door looking like some sort of extraterrestrial and you will literally never guess who was at the door,"

"Was it...girl I don't know just tell me,"

"It was our favorite muscle mommy," I said laughing with embarrassment.

"WHAT?? You're telling me Abigail Anderson was at your fucking apartment this morning??" She asked, a little too loud.

"Jesus, D, keep your voice down. And yes, she was totally there, and looked totally smoking hot,"

"And what did she want?" Dina suggestively wiggled her brows.

"Ugh, unfortunately that's never gonna happen. She was bringing me my wallet, said I dropped it last night,"

"Wait, what? She already have a girlfriend or something?"

"Dina, she's straight, remember?"

"Psh, are you sure? She's like the gayest looking girl I've seen,"

"Dude, I asked. She's straight as a square,"

"Whatever more like a circle"

"Wh-"

I was interrupted by what I thought was the waitress coming in, but was actually Ellie sliding into the seat next to me.

"Hello gentleman" she said with a smirk.

"Hey Els," I greeted my friend.

"Hey Ellie is your f-" I cut off Dina's sabotage with a kick to the shin and my best "you better fucking not" stare before she embarrassed me further.

"What?" Ellie confusedly looked between the two of us.

I gave Dina another look, this time softer and more pleading and I saw her give in.

"Oh, nothing, not important,"

"Hey, liar. What were your gonna say?"

Before Dina could conjure one of her perfect excuses the actual waitress came to give Dina and I our orders, while Ellie made one of her own.

"Ordered a lot of food there, Williams," I teased with a smirk.

"Nah, not all for me," She brushed off my statement.

"Who the hell else would it be for?" I asked, as the answer to my question walked right through the door.

You have got to be kidding.

a/n: hey...hey...how yall doin....

im so sorry for being gone for so long pls forgive me!! Starting up uni again has been rough, especially moving back in for the year. but i promise i will try and update as much as i can.

p.s...it's prob not who u think walking into the diner :3

ok thats all i will say luv u bye

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

[xr0tt3nxfl3shx]

👁💊My Medicine is underdeveloped and my Amygdala won't work.💉👁

Twomp[AU] fanfiction + art !! Pertains to the events in this post. [No beta we die.]

⚠️‼️TW: VOMITING / OVERDOSE / SUICIDAL IDEATION / UNREALITY / CORRUPT MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM / GENERAL MENTAL ILLNESS THEMES‼️⚠️

A/N: i didnt wanna mention it tbh but just in case, ive been down the chemical consumption road 3 times, an i mention because i know the internet has opinions on mental illness in writing. But ive been there myself. All up close and personal like. so i think i can speak on it (dont castrate me)

POV: 👁Argos👁

I scratch at my skin in the dark of my room as if that'll hold in the tears from spilling over my burning red cheeks. The feeling of rage and overwhelming depression clash within me, and leave me to switch every few minutes between cursing the name of every therapist who ever told me that "I'm not even trying to get better" and crying over the idea that they might be right.

My heartbeat is so vigorous that it feels like at any moment the tendons will tear away and my heart will burst in my ribs. How could anyone say that to me? I seethe and hiss through my gritting teeth. Why can't I get better? I cry enough to fill an ocean and nearly drown in my tears.

I should be able to control all of this by now, I'm not a child. Yet, I can't stop thinking about putting the heads of those who hurt me on a platter. Or banging my head on my bedroom wall hard enough to dull the heartbreak. My eyes are running dry from all the tears, I've been at this for a while. My head is pounding from the adrenaline. All reasonable thoughts are drowned out, with intrusive and irrational ones taking the place of my internal voice of reason.

I can make it better, I can make this better. I just need to try a little harder! Just.. go a little further. These feelings, it's just a chemical imbalance right?

I'm running out of options, types of therapy, pills, at this point I might as well just get a lobotomy. I'm sure my therapist would like that.

There's still time to make this right. I don't have to end my life to end my suffering right?

I can prove them wrong. I will prove them wrong. It's just a chemical imbalance. I just need to fix it.

I rummage through the medicine cabinet above my bathroom sink, overlooking the blood crusting around the drain. There has to be something in here that can make my head stop pounding or my thoughts quiet down if not for just a little while. Maybe everything all at once? Yeah that should do!

Laid out in front of me on the cold tiled floor of my bathroom are various pill bottles. The amount of pills actually in them is varied, they like to switch my meds every other week it seems. I try to be hasty with this, pouring out a small handful of gel capsules into my hand. Each one smooth, glossy, and slightly cool to the touch.

You know, I've been here before, and typically there's some survival instinct in me, paralyzing my hands before I can do any damage. But all I can feel is anguish. And anger. And there's no more room for self preservation in me.

I take my first dose before I can come down from my emotion fueled adrenaline rush. Quickly now don't let the self preservation come back. I take my next dose of a new pill type, a tablet. It was a bad idea doing this dry but oh well!

Before I know it I'm slumped against my bathroom door, unable to continue my self medication on account of the mounds of pills I dry swallowed having begun triggering my gag reflex. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about this, but it had to be done. My therapist is always urging me to take steps in the right direction!

(Though admittedly he never mentioned which direction is the right one.)

I make it back to my bed, dragging my feet and leaning on the wall for support the whole way. It's not even five minutes in when I start to feel the effects. I probably should've eaten before taking my pills like the instructions say.

This is different though, I feel my connection to reality slip right through my jittery fingers. Like the shadows in my room are divulging their presence. Like they are reaching out their hands, ready to take hold of me, pull me in and make me one with unreality. An emptiness overcomes me, something I've truly never felt before. And it's the strangest thing, because simultaneously I've never felt more alive in my life.

Everything is really funny, I've never noticed how funny everything is up until now. Every little unorganized thought that pops up in my foggy, spacing-out head manages to get a strained laugh out of me.

Visual snow floods my peripheral, the colors of the world begin to become one with the static in my eyes.

Ah, I remembered what I was going to do in here. I need to call Mr. Plant. I need him to know that I'm going to get better, and how much I love him of course. Oh he'll never understand just how much I love him! I love him to death, haha! Literally.

I dial in the number. Moving has proven difficult, like trying to control a vehicle while tired and out of it, or in my case trying to control a vehicle through the most debilitating brain fog I've ever experienced. The disconnection from body and thought is almost calming.

The ringing of the phone is such a funny thing as well. I could lose myself in the methodical rhythm and loose vibrations running up my hands- oh look here he's answered!

"M‐r… plant! I ha-ve.. s o me thi.. ng to tell you."

I am fighting to get the words out. The weak sounds I manage to get out of my raspy throat come out in uneven tones with jarring stutters. Why is it so hard to speak?

"I took.. a lot o-f... my me-ds. Ha-ha!" He hangs up immediately.

Is he not happy for me? It wasn't long before I heard sirens closing in. Did he call the cops on me? That's no fair, no fair at all.

I've never been rolled into the back of an ambulance on a stretcher before but there's a first time for everything I suppose. It's too bad I'm too out of it to really experience it.

In the ambulance is when the first wave of nausea hits. I could barely even feel the EMT insert the IV or hear when they asked me questions.

———

The heart palpitations do their diligence distracting from the perforations left in my arm from the injections of various medications and the IV drip.

My respiration is just as irregular as my heart's chemical damaged rhythm. I feel like I'm drowning in this heavy air and it feels like the knots in my stomach have spread to my heart. This pain is so unbearable that I feel the need to crave it out of myself with a blade.

The world is doubling- no tripling, blurring, and mushing together all at once. I can feel the hum of the fluorescent hospital light buzz through my head. The scent of rubbing alcohol and sterilized equipment is evident throughout the cold medical facility.

By my own hands I've made my body a place unsuitable for living. I've "almost drugged myself to an early grave" as the hospital staff keep reminding me.

Speaking of body, I can no longer tell where I end and the wires of the EKG machine begin. Neuropathy has set in and nerve sensation has dulled for the most part, except in my stomach and heart where it hurts the most of course. But me and the machines they have me hooked up to might as well be one as long as they are taking the place of my dysfunctional body systems.

When they run the EKG scan, which they do about every half hour, they ask me to stay as still as I can, but it's hard to control the shaking when I don't know where it comes from in the first place. I'm by no means cold, or if I am I really can't feel it.

Have I mentioned the shaking? The tremors? I need to grow accustomed to the flavor of raw stomach acid soon, because that's all I've been throwing up anymore. It's all that's left.

The nausea begins to build all over again, like my stomach is writhing and contorting in my torso. I can feel the knots being tied. Over the next few minutes it builds and builds, I'd do anything to stop the encroaching bile now. The nausea completely overwhelms my senses right before another round of the most violent retching I've ever experienced. Accompanied by the most awful squelching and splattering sounds as it hits the rest of vomit already resting at the bottom of the bag.

I feel like I'm nearing being turned inside out everytime it happens. And I've filled yet another vomit bag. This isn't going to stop for days as the doctor told me. I doubt I'll get the luxury of unconsciousness.

The activated charcoal they gave me to drink is like this black sludge, "slow and steady now, don't drink so fast you throw it all up but not so slow that you succumb to the consequences of your own actions." Well maybe that's not what they really said but it's how it felt. I can tell the staff are judging me, I just know it! They think I deserve this.

At least the charcoal is cherry flavored.

My many eyes dart around the clean and pristine hospital room erratically, glancing off in every direction. I don't want anyone to look at me anymore. I can't stand the buzz of the lights and I can barely bring myself to move enough to blink. Or even move enough to breathe. I am much too dizzy and light-headed to even consider standing up. I'm so dizzy I could swear I'm phasing in and out of my body. The only thing keeping my consciousness bound to this body is the unending pain ancoring me in the reality of my situation.

It's growing increasingly unbearable.

Above all else I am losing my mind trying to figure out where I went wrong tonight. These chemicals were supposed to fix all these feelings. The pills were supposed to fix me. My psychiatrists and therapists all told me that I'm sick, disordered, and all I needed was to buy a few more medicines.

It must be my fault, it must be if hundreds of milligrams of mood stabilizers can't just make it better.

Tell me, anyone tell me, why I'm so useless that I can't even help myself?

Why am I so worthless that my medicine won't work on me?

I am almost entirely suspended in unreality. The prozac, olanzapine, mirtazapine, and everything other useless drug they gave me were meant to cure me. I've tried everything!

I've done the very most I can to try and make the bad thoughts quiet down. And are the thoughts that tell me "I'd be better dead", my own thoughts, or a symptom of one of my diagnoses?

Is the reason I'm like this the same reason I don't deserve love, or do I not deserve love because I'm like this? I want to get better. I swear I really do.

So why does no one believe me?

"Sir, you have a visitor." The nurse informs me in a harsh yet hush tone.

The words barely make it through my chemical head. I'm practically catatonic in this hospital bed. But when I do process them I pray to every divine that it is who I think it is.

Red petals on the top and bottom, two yellow petals, one pink and one blue. I was right!

I can't believe he came all the way down to this void to come see me. I really thought he'd stay home. I don't think anyone or anything could possibly understand the pure desperation I feel coursing through my veins. Right alongside the saline they're using to flush my IV of course.

My boyfriend entered my hospital room, #34 I believe, I saw when they rolled me in on the stretcher. Tears well up in my dried eyes, I couldn't feel enough of anything to cry while drugged out of my head but seeing him, well, I need him more than I have ever needed anyone before.

The look on his face when he saw me is one I didn't know he was capable of, pure horror even. I must look horrible stained with my own bile in these itchy hospital scrubs. He is quick to clasp my hand in his and rub along my knuckles and the back of my palm. Through the blurred vision and tears I can't even make him out anymore but I don't need to, I just need his touch. I need it so badly.

I have no depth perception at the moment, or hand eye coordination, and again everything is quite blurry so it was mostly unintentional when I pulled him in by the sweater. He leans into me and wraps his arms under my upper back, holding me against his chest.

He's warm against me, holding me gently in a hospital bed. I can't feel much at all other than the pain, his warmth was the only other sensation I could pin down in my head. It was such a harsh contrast from how I normally see him acting.

With him so close I can't tell where he ends and I begin this time. Even in one of my most painful moments, I feel a familiar comfort in my palpitating heart. He's the only thing keeping me from going entirely mad. He has no idea what I'd give to melt into him right here right now, become an amalgamated abomination of our half hazardly bonded flesh and bone. I'm afraid I'd ruin him and all his perfection with me and all my misshapen and grotesqueness.

I am especially disgusting as of now, making him worry about me like this. Can I not be horrible for just one second? Selfish, that's it. I must be selfish. I take another go at speaking a moment after we pull away. All I can muster is an apology that comes out more like a pathetic stammer through my tears.

The way his cold gaze met mine shook me. I've never seen real tears stream down his face. He looks so... distraught. Its like he's looking right through me and simultaneously looking directly at me. And on top of everything I've never seen him sign so frantically. He rarely signs at all.

"Please don't be sorry."

…

"Don't strain your voice."

"Just stay right there, okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'll get you anything, I'd do anything for you."

I knew he cared about me, but I guess I never realized just how much. Or maybe I just forgot. How horrible am I?

Is it possible I'm actually worth something to him? Worth enough for him to call me an ambulance, worth enough for him to comfort me in the hospital bed, worth enough for him to cry over me?

Was I really worth staying with all this time?

My thoughts are interrupted by another round of retching, it seems those knots in my stomach weren't just anxiety. Mr. Plant holds my hand through it. I'm gonna be here a while, I know that. But he's here with me, and from the looks of it he isn't leaving my side anytime soon.

I'll make it out alive, not for myself, just for him. And for the possibility that maybe he needs me just as much as I need him. I wish my mind wasn't so scrambled, so I could find the words to express just how much I love him.

I love you Mr. Plant.

[matthewkniesys]

late night driving - luke hughes

summary: bad weeks at uni mean good boyfriends trying to cheer you up. and luke was the very best boyfriend so of course you two went driving and got ice cream and watched the sunset to cheer you up.

a/n: this is a little fic i wrote from an anons request for luke hughes x zegras sister sneaking out to get ice cream. this takes place once they've started dating but in secret. its purely fluff and its just super cute!! hope you like it 🫶

pairing: luke hughes x zegras sister!reader

warnings: some swearing and talk of anxiety

Honestly, saying you had a shitty week felt like an understatement. You'd been back to Uni for a few weeks and you already felt like you were drowning. You'd been late to class 3 times this week, it rained and you fell into a puddle, one of your profs is horrible, you'd been so anxious everyday and to top everything off, between you and Luke being busy you hadn't gotten to see each other all week.

But it was finally Friday night and you were so excited to curl up on the couch, do nothing but watch shitty sitcoms and not move for hours. You made instant ramen, grabbed a blanket that still smelled like Luke from when he was at your dorm last weekend, and settled in. Your roommate was going out for the night so you had the whole room to yourself.

Your peace was interrupted 5 episodes into your binge. At this point it was 7 o'clock. It was too early for your roommate to be back but too late for someone uninvited to show up. And you sure as hell hadn't invited anyone.

You got off the couch, extremely pissed at the fact that anyone would dare interrupt your quiet Friday night. You feel a little different after you open the door though.

"Hey babe." Says a familiar voice when you open the door.

"Oh my god Luke. How did you know I needed you tonight?" You ask, jumping into your boyfriends arms.

"I always know...plus I could kinda guess from the very aggressive texts you've been sending me all week."

You laugh. "Yeah well my week has been less than perfect that's for sure." You lead Luke into your dorm and the two of you have a seat on your bed.

"Babe, tell me about it. Why was your week so bad?"

"I just- it was one bad event after another. Over and over again. I couldn't catch a break. From falling into a puddle to having coffee spilt on me to having a really shitty professor it felt like nothing was going right. And then I was just so anxious every single day. And I haven't felt this anxious in so long and I just didn't know how to deal with it." You take a deep breath. It feels good to let your feelings out to someone you trust.

Luke rubs your back. "I'm so sorry your week so shitty babe. I'm also sorry I couldn't have been there for you. I should've been I was just bu-"

You cut your boyfriend off. "You don't have to apologise Luke. I get it. Life is busy and you don't always have time."

"But I always want to have time for you. You are so important to me." You sit in silence for a few moments and then it's Luke who speaks first.

"Wanna go grab some ice cream? We could maybe even still have time to catch the sunset."

You smile. Luke always knows what you need. "Yeah, I'd love that." But also where does Jack think you are? He doesn't know we're dating yet and I know he's a little bit overprotective."

"Yeah, um I kinda snuck out. And he's probably blowing up my phone right now but I don't care. I'm an adult and I wanted to come see you." You smile up at Luke while he gets off the bed. You never thought you'd start falling in love with him this fast but yet here you were.

Luke grabs your hand and the two of you run down the hallway out to Luke's car. You hop into the passenger seat and Luke gets in and starts the car. As he's pulling away, he places a gentle hand on your thigh. You look over at him to see he has a content and peaceful smile on his face as he drives. It overbearing to think you have this kind of effect on him.

Luke parks at the curb and hand in hand, you walk into the ice cream shop. It's a cute little retro diner type place that just opened up a few weeks ago.

Luke, being the boring boy he is, orders plain vanilla while you get your favourite. Luke pays and you return to his car.

"Do you wanna go to the overpass and watch the sunset?"

Luke knows that, that's what you want to do so you just smile. On the drive you play music and Luke hums along while you go full out, pretending you're in a music video. He laughs, not quite sure how he was able to land an amazing person like you.

You arrive just in time. The sky is full of oranges, pinks and reds. Luke helps you up onto the hood of his car and two of you cuddle up, eat your ice cream and watch the setting sun.

When the sky is fully dark you get back in and start driving. You assume Luke will drop you back off at your dorm but all of a sudden you realise he's driving the wrong way.

"Luke are you trying to kidnap me? Where are we going?"

He picks up your hand from where it's resting on the console and kisses it.

"I have no clue babe, but I do know I'm not ready to end this night yet so let's keep driving and see where we end up, okay."

You Look at Luke with all the love in the world in your eyes.

"Okay."

thanks for reading🫶requests are always open!!

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates @imma-mirrorball @hvghes @emptyflowerpots

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[basketballanonsblog]

A Bouquet For My Love

This is set after Goodnight and Goodbye in the Jihyo x military!reader AU

I'm sorry this feels rushed 😪 but there will be more for this AU in the future

Synopsis: After almost two years, it was time to try and win your ex-girlfriend back

-x-

"Damn girl, you didn't waste any time."

It didn't take long before news of Jihyo being in a relationship to reach social media once Twice's dating ban was lifted.

The leader was thankful for the members' support, but...

"What about y/n unnie?" Tzuyu asked.

There's that.

"The right thing to do is to tell her, before she finds out online."

They had a point.

"Our breakup was amicable. I'm sure she'll handle the news well. Besides, it's not like she waited for me, right?"

No one commented on how it sounded like she was trying to persuade herself.

-x-

You darted around the house as quickly as you could, not even bothering to talk to your brother.

"Y/n! Slow down, we just got back from overseas, maybe you should rest."

You've been away for eight months, and in that time, all you could think about was your ex-girlfriend.

"There's no time. I need to see Jihyo to try and win her back."

Min-jun recalled how you were after the breakup. You drew back into your shell, the spark in your eyes dampened.

But the spark returned.

"Wish me luck!" And just like that, you were out the door.

"Good luck."

He brushed off the sinking feeling in his chest.

-x-

You made your way through the market, flowers in hand. It was surprisingly devoid of people, but it made it less time-consuming to go through. It was your last stop before heading to her apartment.

Turns out you didn't need to go far to see her again. She was holding someone else's hand, and her laughter that once made your heart skip a beat, now made it ache.

Jihyo finally noticed you standing there with a bouquet of her favourite flowers.

"Y/n..." Your knees almost gave out there and then.

You put on a smile as the man introduced himself, even though you knew who he was.

It was awkward and painful.

"My brother asked me to pick up flowers for his girlfriend." No one asked, but you felt compelled to give a reason why you had them.

Jihyo didn't believe you. She almost asked if you wanted to catch up, but the hurt in your eyes stopped her.

She did wait for me.

The guilt became almost unbearable as she watched you walk away.

That's the second time she didn't ask you to stay.

-x-

You became a mess at the bar. You cried while looking on the internet, at the various outlets reporting the official news of Jihyo dating Kang Daniel.

"Y/n you idiot! You should've moved on. She probably thinks you're a fool for waiting." You began a cycle of drinking and demeaning thoughts. 

It didn't take long for company to find you. A woman convinced you to loosen up from your sad state.

Even going as far as pulling you up to dance. She laughed at your clumsy moves and impulsively kissed you.

You were immediately taken aback, but you didn't oppose the display of affection. You kissed her back, and it got hot and heavy real fast.

"Wanna get out of here? No strings attached." That's all it took for your hesitance to vanish as you exited the bar.

With the alcohol and lust going through your veins, the bouquet laid where you left it, forgotten.

Merry Christmas again, guys! 🎉