#I'm thinking about someone in particular too

[xsilversugar]

It fuckin' kills me every time I think about it. I don't support Rowling or think of her in my day-to-day outside of being actively reminded of the harm she causes. I too want her to vanish. She was a huge part of my childhood but I grew out of her and called her a hack by the sixth book and basically only hate-read the last because I had to know how it ended. I didn't have the full context or understanding for why what she wrote felt off to me--so by the time her political views became well-known; I felt vindicated in my dislike of her. Throwing her work away and not caring by then was easy. It's only when I think of the active harm that I feel anything about it all.

However learning about Neil Gaiman fucking gutted me. I was so wanting to believe it wasn't true but even then one of my first thoughts was a cold "yeah, that tracks actually" (hell, I literally had a dream practically predicting it) but it still felt more personal a betrayal rather than a broad lingering hate. More...insidious. I stay silent and don't involve myself in the fandom anymore because if I let it...it'd still hurt me...like a raw wound merely ignore. I cried for practically a week straight, in and out of denial and hopeful that it was a misunderstanding, but I was so invested in digging up whatever news I could, and then I had to stop. It was too much. I'd occasionally still recommend his works to people in private but I don't go out of my way to suggest anyone dare pay for it in the slightest anymore. If the topic of favorite authors comes up, I just don't have one anymore. I might offer to give someone a copy I have but I tell them why I'll never read it again myself.

Maybe it's because I went through this before with Rowling in particular but I thought it would be easier to cut Gaiman out. On one hand, sure, it is exceptionally easy to just let myself become distracted with other things, to not think about it or talk about it. On the other...I only stay silent because it still hurts just as much and I just can't unpack it this time. I can't. It's too much. I don't care if that makes me sound stupid or whatever. I'm too disgusted.

Still, I don't think I could say I disowned him, his work, or what he meant to me. The view I had was wrong. I haven't abandoned my love for those stories, I can't forget; that's why for the most part I don't bring it up without context because s long as I am distracted; I'm fine. If I think about it for too long...I feel like I'll fall apart. He is the one who disowned us, betrayed us, and did truly unforgivable things to others whom I choose to believe--and even hell has standards--so he's simply not welcome. That's all.

It's impressive how Neil Gaiman vanished from the internet. Wish Rowling would do the same.

[powderpuff-divines]

pick a pile: what makes people's hearts flutter around you

thank you so much for the love on the previous reading!! i was so happy to see that so many of you enjoyed it. i hope that this one resonates too. once again, it is a general reading. only take what applies, leave the rest and please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors xx

pile 1 ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

(judgement, ace of pentacles, queen of pentacles, page of pentacles, page of wands)

there's just something intimidating about you pile one (you may or may not have a resting b-face) but there's also something about you that makes people want to impress you. whatever way you express your dissatisfaction- whether it's the way you curl your lips in distaste or scrunch your eyebrows- it sets people on edge. it makes them nervous but also very eager to please you.

you could come from a well to do family, like a long line or surgeons, etc. (if not, that's the vibes you give) or even if it's not wealth, it feels like you come from a very reputed family.

but regardless of your family, you have built have a very good reputation for yourself amongst your peers. your work ethic is also very good- you put your head down and get to work, and even that makes people's hearts flutter sometimes. you elicit awe and admiration quite easily.

capable. that's the energy i'm getting from this pile. someone capable who wants to work hard, who wants money, who wants status, who wants recognition. majority of the people from this pile are the go-getters, the type to want to work in student body councils or win a lot of trophies (i'm getting more academic/corporate achievement than sporty though).

there's also another section of people who picked this pile who wouldn't necessarily call themselves hard-working, they'd prefer to call themselves lazy even but regardless of how you label yourself, you just breeze through your work anyway. in the eyes of others, it looks effortless. the people around you take one look at you and just know you're going to achieve great things with your career

regardless of all this admiration, i don't think you're friends with many people. there may only be a few in your inner circle. there's something about other people wanting to be a part of your personal life so bad. i'm seeing this image someone who randomly posts a Instagram story of them surfing and the people viewing it are so shocked ("pile two surfs? i never knew that about them. that's so cool!") they're intrigued by you and want to know you better but you don't let people that close easily. you might just have really strict work-life boundaries and are very particular about who in your life gets to see how much about you.

and because of who you are, what you've accomplished and how you carry yourself, your approval means something to the people around you, especially if it's something you don't dole out to just anyone.

your approval; that's what gets their heart fluttering-- a nod from you when they show you what they've done, a pat on the back, a smile on your lips as you give praise, even if it's off-handed, it gives them something to feel good about for the rest of the day.

pile 2 ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

(chariot, 8 of pentacles , ace of cups, seven of swords, ten of pentacles) (oh my god 😭 who are you peopleeee. i would not be surprised if multiple people were crushing on this pile.)

pile 2, you're popular and you definitely know it to some extent too. this pile is a bit similar to pile 1 in some ways but still vastly different you could have lot of admirers and people who want to get close to you and i do see you engaging with these people, because you do enjoy the attention (nothing wrong with that), but i also get the feeling you're very controlling and picky over your image and how you come off to people. even while trying to channel the messages for this pile, the energy feels a bit reserved and doesn't want to give me too much.

there's one particular thing you could be known for, some sort of craft you've worked hard at or you're really talented at. this could be something like dance or music but that's where most of your popularity comes from. you have a good network of friends and people who you can pass time with.

i'm ngl, lowkey getting some player energy from this pile but not necessarily in the bad way. it's just some of you are aware of effect you have, and you have fun teasing people, toying with them, making them blush. oh, pile 2 you like making people's hearts flutter, you do it on purpose. you like knowing that you have the power to make people flustered.

what makes people's heart flutter is the rush they get when your eyes meet, the flirtatious lilt in your voice, maybe a smirk on your lips as you tease them in a very nonchalant manner, when you say something and playfully tell them that it's a secret only the two of you will know, when you make them feel like they are the sole focus of your attention. heart are fluttering left and right because of you.

i don't know if this pile will resonate with a lot of people or if the things mentioned here are too specific, but bottom line is that there's a very flirtatious and seductive vibe to your energy. you guys might be bored the majority of the time but man, when you're interested in someone, you tease and play with them until you get a reaction. even if you're not like this currently, you have great potential at charming people my pile twos.

pile 3 ˚ . ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

( 6 of cups, the empress, nine of pentacles, eight of pentacles, temperance rev)

pile 3, are you really uncomfortable with being perceived by any chance? i had the most difficult time channeling the energy of the people who chose this pile out of all three piles. i think you keep to yourself for most of the time but there's also this adorable energy around you, like that of a cat that just puts its head down and sleeps whenever it gets the chance to.

you could not like attention and maybe most of your days, you put your head down and focus on getting through. that's not to say you have a sad life. maybe you're not where you want to be yet, but you do have hobbies, things you enjoy and to pass the time with.

there's something casually cool about you. i cannot say what it is exactly since it's different for each of the people who pick this pile, but something about the way someone gets their drink from the vending machine? for someone, it's the way they hop over a gate. you have these tiny particular habits and methods of doing things that catch some people's attention without even knowing it.

i think it's your affection that makes people's hearts flutter.

this is giving me the energy of that one type of male lead/character (i'm just talking about the vibe, this could apply to you regardless of your gender) in anime that slacks off all the time but will randomly say something observant or serious that will have your heart skipping a beat. it's very endearing, i feel like you're very laid-back but still very straightforward and blunt with your affection. you'll say something simple but it'll be so earnest and the most romantic thing ever in the moment; it would exactly the thing the other person would happen to need to hear.

and it's not even intentional for most of you, it just comes naturally.

AHHH pile 3s, i get the feeling most of you don't think very highly about your work or aren't very comfortable with yourself but you should know that you're inherently a very chill and cool person. you aren't nearly as embarrassing as you think you are. be proud of your existence please!! and take up more space!!!

what makes people's hearts flutter around you aren't big gestures or big speeches, but it's just simply you in the rawest form possible. maybe it's you holding a cold soda can to someone's cheek and murmuring something that was just on your mind; a silly joke, a comment about a look on their face. it's your nonchalant affection that arrives so silently yet reassuringly steady every time. it's the way you unknowingly make the weight of the world lighter for others, even if just for a second.

this pile gives me maomao vibes? i haven't seen ad yet, just clips and edits but the way she just puts her head down and dgaf about anything except posion/her own thing and she's just inherently endearing and people adore her??? that's your vibe pile 3!!! also this is the second time anime has been referenced, so maybe that's a sign for some of yall

i love how much you can customise your tumblr post but the gradient text is just too stressful for me to do more than twice in one post lol. do let me know which pile you picked and on how it resonated!! in all honesty, i'm a bit nervous about it since i feel like i went too specific so i hope it still resonates with people.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

you want more erik? here more erik. him and reader getting caught in different situations

Warnings: 18+, undressing, caught by family member,

Let me know what you want to read about next! I don't have many Erik requests...

—

Getting caught in compromising situations was a recurring event in your and Erik’s relationships. It’s like you were both cursed, and every time you were alone, someone had to come in and interrupt. 

Erik’s mouth moved across your neck while his hands gripped your thighs. The sight of you in that dress sent feral thought to his brain — and dick. You wore it without any particular intentions, but you had to admit that it made your boobs look really good. 

His grip tightened, fingertips digging in just enough to make you gasp. ‘’You wore this just to mess with me, didn’t you?'' he muttered against your skin, lips brushing that sensitive spot just beneath your jaw.

You shook your head, breath catching as he pulled you closer. ‘’Didn’t even think about it,'' you replied honestly, flexing your fingers into his hair as he moved his kisses down your collarbones and decolletage. ‘’But I'm not mad that I did.'' 

Usually, Erik hated to be interrupted when he was gaming, but the controller was abandoned on the couch, and his character left to its death on the screen. 

You grinded against him, feeling him harden in his pants. He groaned into your neck, the sound vibrating against your skin as his hands slid upward. His fingers found the thin straps of your dress, and without a word, he hooked them with deliberate ease and slid them down. 

As much as you wished for Erik to hurry up, taking things slow and savouring the moment was nice too. 

His lips found the curve of your shoulder and you tilted your head back, eyes fluttering shut as he nipped lightly at your skin and pulled the top of your dress down. You felt the chill air on your breasts, but Erik’s mouth quickly engulfed your nipple, and you arched your back instinctively, pressing yourself further into his touch.

It was risky to give in to any sexual activities in the living room on a Wednesday afternoon, but you and Erik were too caught up in the moment to care. You didn’t even think about the curtains not being shut. Such a sight would have given Mr. Wolowitz a heart attack. 

‘’Those tits are so fucking gorgeous,’’ he praised, moving to the other nipple. 

He sucked gently, then harder, sending a bolt of heat straight to your core. 

‘’Erik,’’ you gasped, just as the front door opened and Julia came in, back from her hot pilates class. 

Julia stopped in her tracks, dropping her gym bag with an audible thud as disgust spread on her face. ‘’Oh my god, gross!” she screeched in horror, snapping you and Erik out of your bubble. 

You scrambled to pull your dress up, nearly elbowing Erik in the jaw in the process. ‘’Shit— Julia, hi!” 

Below you, Erik let out a long, frustrated sigh, jaw clenched as he rested his head briefly against your collarbone. ‘’For fuck’s sake,’’ he muttered under his breath.

‘’Seriously? Can’t you do that in your own room? Not the familial couch,’’ Julia continued, voicing her disgust. ‘’I need a fork.’’

‘’A fork?’’ Erik repeated, frowning. 

‘’To stab my eyes with!’’

—

[menlove]

Hello! I saw your post about how you deeply believe that John and Paul had sex frequently, and honestly I'm on the fence on whether or not I believe that they did. I was wondering if there were any particular reasons as to why you believe this or if it was just a feeling lol.

there's fsdfasdadf a lot To Me that convinces me but i'm not sure how solid it is so i'd say it's Mostly a feeling/vibe but i'll work through my reasoning under the cut (separated into The Vibes and then actual shit they've said/done that makes me go uh. hm.)

disclaimer: obviously i can't know if they fucked. at the end of the day it truly does not have any impact on my life if they did or not. this is also solely getting into whether or not they fucked, not the rest of the crazy shit they had going on bc that would genuinely take a 1000 page novel. i'm also not getting into proof about either one of them having gay sex bc if we take them both at face value that answer is a resounding "no" and this isn't about proving their queerness

i will say first of all we know for a fact they jerked off together & had sex in the same bed so i'm gonna go ahead and count that as sex bc it's 2025 and queer people have made leaps and bounds away from considering penetrative sex the only kind of sex that exists. but i don't think they would've considered either of those things sex. but in my view? that was sex. does also mean they've had sex with the other quarrymen though #happypride

vibes

first of for me is their personalities/circumstances. i mean it's obviously all very nuanced and i never knew them so there's aspects to their personalities that we obviously aren't privy to. but they were both very sexual people with incredibly loose sexual boundaries, neither of whom really ever had (or at least expressed) religious hangups around sex, and who were Both at the like forefront of the whole changing culture of the 60s to become freer, looser, less repressed. obviously them being free with heterosexual sex doesn't automatically equate to them having the same feelings about homosexual sex, but it's a factor in the way i think about it anyway.

we already know they were loose with sex with Each Other as well. there's ofc the beat the meatles thing (group wanking with the quarrymen/early beatles) but there's also the fact that they'd all have sex in the same tiny ass room in hamburg & the fact that john and paul allegedly had a foursome with a couple of girls whose pictures they took back in liverpool (on the same bed). again, that doesn't Necessarily translate to "yeah they'd have gay sex" but it just sets up that they weren't really prudish about sex and they weren't shy about having sex around/near each other. there's ALSO a different version of the story john told to pete floating around somewhere (can't find it rn so don't quote me on this) where in addition to everything else he mentions it (as in letting brian jerk him off) not being different than what he does with his friends. which does also implicate everyone Else, not just paul, but it's interesting.

i just do Not think that john would've had the self restraint to not make a move on paul if he wanted to. and from Well Everything, we can tell that he wanted to. john wasn't someone who had a lot of self control & i don't think his relationship to paul being "too important" or anything like that would've stopped him either. and i think if he'd made a move & paul shot him down, we would have never heard the end of it and there would've never been the beatles in the first place bc i don't think john would've taken it well at all. on paul's end, i can't see him turning john down either. if they were already jerking off together, potentially jerking each other off, having sex in the same bed, etc, i don't think it's a stretch to say he wouldn't have shoved john off for going further. and again, if he had, there would've been a more dramatic reaction. which means either john Never made a move, or he did & paul went with it.

ofc there's the whole india theory but i do not buy into that even remotely and i'm not getting into why again but tl;dr i just don't think it would be in character for Either of them to have this big dramatic rejection of john's feelings and for john to wait and simmer in it for 2 years before breaking up the band. i think if anything like that happened he would've lost his goddamn mind immediately and the band wouldn't have made it beyond like two more months lmao

i can however see paul making a move and john shooting it down due to His Issues, but i don't really see any time period where that would've potentially happened yk like there's not enough there to speculate on that one. but i can see it more than the opposite

they were also on so, so many drugs. you take two people with loose sexual boundaries and you put them on uppers/alcohol/weed/lsd/coke and i truly think it's more unlikely that they didn't ever fuck. i think most anyone who regularly gets drunk/high has at least one story about making out with/fucking someone they shouldn't. oftentimes when you can't remember shit.

there's also the severe lack of personal space between them & just the way they watch each other. ofc there's a severe lack of space between All the beatles, but it's glaringly obvious and embarrassing when they're all 4 in the same space and the blowjob brothers are over there ass to dick while everyone else has a respectable friend distance.

i won't put a photo/gif dump here i'm sure we've all seen them but this is the single one i have to add bc genuinely what is their problem:

and the way paul stops and then looks over at john after noticing he's watching his ass? they're as subtle as a brick to the head lmfao

tl;dr on the vibes: it's a if you give a mouse a cookie situation to me. if john was attracted to paul (he was), he would've made a move -> if john made a move on paul, paul would've said yes -> if paul had said no, there would have been 0 way john would've just gone on like normal -> nothing ever blew up like that sooo -> i think they fucked (in our definition- idfk what they would count it as). throw in their drug use & lack of personal space................

actual shit w substance

i don't think unless john's diaries leak or paul slips in his old age that we're Ever going to get any kind of Actual confirmation about if they did or did not have a sexual relationship of any kind. BUT there are some things that make me go. well okay !

and a disclaimer i don't think this is the only way you can interpret these things and i'm well aware i look like this rn

i mean this so seriously when i say the thing that convinced me they did actually fuck was john's real love (real life) demo. we know he's talking about paul bc he says "was i just dreaming, or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way la la la farm" and then the added fact from this post that the daily news from that same year around the time john would've made this demo has a page dedicated to linda & paul expecting a new baby and in the same paper it's talking about cruises. which in the demo he says "picked up the paper, read the daily news, nothing doing anyway, same old bs, doot doot doot doot cruise." so we've got him singing about someone he used to hold in his arms that now has another baby on the way on a farm, which he found out about reading the daily news that mentioned cruises. when there was a paper from that day from the daily news announcing that linda & paul were expecting and talking about cruises. so i can say with confidence that he's talking about paul there. unless he was just wildly in love with linda lmfao. and of course "i used to hold you in my arms" doesn't exactly translate to "i fucked you" but like......????? there's really not much else you can infer from that. the rest of it is true to reality, so why would he embellish that bit with something he wished happened? why would he wished to have held him and then lost him anyway? and like it'd just be a weird thing to say about a platonic friend. i can't exactly imagine them just platonically laying around cuddling. i mean sure, maybe, but come on.

speaking of john's demos, there's also his weird paris shit (ignore that title lmfao. it is definitely a real demo & i actually accidentally own it on vinyl- it was one that got leaked during the lost lennon tapes). in it, he's singing to "my pau pau" about his little prod (lmfao) at a cafe on the left bank (hysterically also the title of a wings song ABOUT john and paul's trip to paris). i mean does that mean they fucked? maybe not. but also fucking bizarre to refer to your friend as "my pau pau" and start talking about his little dick while calling him my cheri..... like. again. come on.

speaking of paris there's also the whole skywriting by word of mouth thing. this one's the loosest bc it's fictional, but john based a lot of the sexual stories in skywriting by word of mouth on his own sexual exploits. also realizing for some reason i didn't put this in the original post, but leading up to the paris bit, it describes the man as a journalist who's in the middle of writing a play. but tl;dr on that link: john wrote a short story full of references to gay sex/gay culture about a man leaving writing a play to meet up with his lover in paris where they stay at the george v and fuck to god only knows. in 1966, john left filming how i won the war to meet up with paul in paris and they stayed at the george v. that's the same year pet sounds came out & paul got obsessed with god only knows as well. now this one could Also be taking the details of a very platonic meetup (paul did have one of his girlfriends, maggie mcgivern, with him) and adding a sexual connotation to them retroactively, but....................

i'm also throwing this paul song into the mix bc .....????? sure man. i'll also throw let me roll it into that category bc of the "he gave me loving in the palm of my hand" thing like okay man. i'm sure he did. and best friend/call me back again are just self explanatory.

this one is EXTREMELY loose and i don't believe 99% of them but there Are a ton of rumors/blind items if you go digging around about them kind of openly fucking during the 60s (as well as paul & linda having threesomes with men lmao). not linking those bc i wouldn't count them as even a remotely reliable source but they exist and all say just about the same thing

am i 100% certain they fucked? i mean no. but it just seems way less likely to me that they didn't. and i've seen historical narratives built on less so i'm gonna go on w my interpretation that they did fuck nasty in whatever way

[iekeu]

❛ EYES CLOSED ✶ 제이크

⸺ IN WHICH you have a rommate who is a little particular when it comes to sleeping

﹙3611﹚ loser rommate ! sjy 𖹭 𝒻em. reader — fluff friends to ?? slowburn somnambulism skinship kissing just fiction ℳORE ❜ ᨳ inspired by "the first frost" drama.

you've been jake's roommate for about a year now.

it all started when your old roomie had to leave because she was going to live with his boyfriend. and you couldn't pay for the rent on your own, so she offered to get you a new roommate.

although she forgot to tell you that that roommate was a man.

and that man was a friend of hers that you knew. he was nice. but anyway, you were searching for a girl to live with you. but you didn't have success finding one, and the rent payment was around the corner. so he eventually moved in. and although at the beginning, the idea didn't like you that much, you two became closer friends as the months passed.

he's someone good who you can live with. but..

there he goes again.

he's in the middle of the kitchen, with his eyes closed, drinking a glass of water in the middle of the night. from behind, it seems like he's awake, but he isn't. he's completely asleep.

a couple of months before this would scared you, but now you're very used to him. almost.

the cause of this is all about the amount of stress the college and work give to him, or at least that was what the doctor said when he went the first time you screamed in the middle of the night, waking him up and making him fall with some box that was on the floor.

most of the time, he just comes here and drinks water. or sometimes he sits on the couch, stays there for a couple of minutes, and then goes back to his dorm. all in complete silence.

you blink a couple of times to adjust to the darkness. right now is 2:37 am. you came here to look up your phone charger, just to find jake in the kitchen.

“i'm used to this, but you scared me, tho” you whisper without looking at him, as you look for what you came for.

he just drinks his water and then leaves the glass there to head to his bedroom.

two, three, four steps, and he's in front of you. you stand up straight and furrow your brows, looking up at him. he did this just one time, a month ago; he stands up in front of you and then goes away.

but this time, he raises a hand, and—as you follow his movements, he rests it on top of your head. making you want to laugh. what's he doing?

his eyes are closed, his hair is a mess, and his shirt is all wrinkled. you look at him, curious.

“jake, i'm not layla..” you whisper again, smiling. he rests his hand there for a couple of seconds, almost like he's patting a pet, and then goes away.

you stare at his back until he closes the door behind him. then you go to sleep, shaking your head with a smile, thinking about how you're going to make fun of him the next morning.

when you wake up the next day is sunday noon, so you can sleep this much for today. so after brushing your teeth and washing your face, you come out of the bathroom and head to the kitchen. the smell of food makes you smile.

“morning..” you say as a yawn comes out of your mouth. jake turns to you with a tiny smile. he's wearing headphones, but either way, listen to you.

“hey, morning,” he greets you as a radiant smile grows on his lips, brightening up his face.

you walk to the table behind him, sitting on a chair. and as you stare at his back, the moment of the night before comes to your head, and a big smile appears on your lips. jake glances at you and then takes off the earphones as he turns off the stove.

“what?” he smiles too, now turning to look at you.

“oh, nothing..” you look to your side, trying not to laugh. he approaches. his lips unconsciously form a pout.

“whaat?” he insists, now standing at the other side of the table. you now look at him.

“last night..” his face drops immediately. his lips now forming a line.

“don't tell me that last night i..”

“i came here to look up for something, and i found you.. then you approached me and put your hand on top of my head.” you started laughing because of his face. “you thought i was layla?”

he groans as he puts a hand over his face, but you can see his red ears. your laugh doesn't help him when he starts to feel his face heat up.

“i don't even remember what i was dreaming about” you keep laughing at him. he turns around, clears his throat, and continues cooking, trying to ignore your giggles on his back.

from your place, you can see how the tips of his ears are still bright red.

“you're cute,” you say as you keep making fun of him. he doesn't turn around again, but a tiny smile grows between his lips.

today was a tiring day, and all you wanted to do was sleep for an entire week. all your body felt heavy, and your head hurt half the day.

it was around midnight when you arrived home. you told jake that you were gonna come back late, so he's completely asleep by now.

after coming back from your room fully changed with more comfortable clothes, you make your way to the kitchen, turning on just one light.

jake left you food so you could just heat it and eat it, so you were going to do that after going to sleep.

some minutes later, you heard a click coming from jake's dorm. he's awake or..

you turn off the stove and turn around, just to find jake there, who is standing a few meters away from the kitchen. he's asleep.

after the last time you made fun of him, he had just one episode more. and that was a month ago.

now you were expecting what ridiculous thing he would do now.

so you stay still, looking at him, expecting. then he starts to walk slowly in your direction. and just in a few steps, he is standing up just a few centimeters away from you. both hands by his sides. eyes shut, and furrowed brows.

you raise one brow, thinking about his next movement. but you gasp when he approaches his face close to you. you try to move away. your heart is racing in your chest.

but then he drops his forehead on your shoulder and stays there. your arms flew to his sides as a reflection, not touching him. but then you don't know what to do. this is new. so you stay in your place, frozen.

he exhales, and you feel his body relaxing. then breaths more slowly, calmer. just his forehead resting against you as he leans in your direction.

a couple of minutes later, he steps up properly and walks away in silence.

the next morning, when you wake up, he isn't at home anymore. but later, when you see him again, you don't mention what happened.

three days later, you two are bout to watch a movie. finally, you can watch it in peace since tomorrow, neither of you had to do something in the morning.

“i only agree to watch this movie because the last time i chose it..” he says as he looks at the screen with furrowed eyebrows, shaking his body dramatically, faking shivers.

“jake, it's a bunch of people with makeup,” you say, looking at the screen as you eat some popcorn he made minutes ago.

“whatever” he snorts and then extends his arm to grab some popcorn, too. “why are you so far away? i can't reach the food..” he complains before throwing it to his mouth and chewing it.

the couch isn't big, but either way, you're on the corner of it with the bowl of popcorn just for you. so you stand up, sigh dramatically and drop yourself next to his body, literally glued to him, brushing nothing off your shoulder, as if his touch bothered you, just to bother him. back but that it's useless because now he has a big satisfied smile on his face as he looks at you making himself comfortable.

“happy?” you look up at him, putting the bowl on your lap. he nods, grabbing more popcorn.

“yeah, thank you.” he puts some in his mouth and then smiles again. his cheeks full of food. you roll your eyes, turning your head to the screen, fighting back a smile.

half an hour later, the bowl is empty on the table in front of you two. and you're more conformable now, with your head resting against the sofa. meanwhile, jake is knocked out next to you since he fell asleep around fifteen minutes ago. his head is also resting on the couch, just a few centimeters away from yours.

a moment later, you look at him from the corner of your eye when he starts to move, frowning and murmuring something that you don't hear. then he comes closer to you and tries to make himself more conformable, resting his head on your shoulder and throwing almost all his body weight on you—in the process, making you fall to your side. you yelp, looking at him, waiting for his complaint or something.. but he's totally asleep.

chuckling, you do your best to accommodate him, but it's useless. so you surrender and move, slowly sitting again and letting his head rest on your lap. he doesn't even notice.

like that, you continue to watch the movie until the end.

when that happens, you look down at jake, who is peacefully breathing with his eyes closed. his lashes resting against his cheeks, hair messed up against his forehead and mouth mid-open, showing his teeth. this image makes you want to giggle because of how cute he looks.

but you have to wake him up so he can go to bed.

“jake,” you whisper, taping his shoulder. he doesn't move. “jake, wake up. you can't sleep here.”

“hmm..” it's all he says, still half asleep. you can't even get up because of his position.

“jake” now you shake his shoulder. and finally, he starts blinking, furrowing both brows.

“i.. fell asleep?” he asks with a sleepy voice, yawning. you nod, looking at him. then he stares back at you, now a little bit more awake. a smirk forming on his lips. “why am i in this position?” you smack his shoulder.

“what's that face?” you snap, rolling your eyes. “you were the one who threw himself over me.”

he grabs one of your hands and keeps staring at you, catching you by surprise, but you let him anyway, looking at your hands at then at him again. he plays with your fingers as he talks.

“maybe you pulled me to your side, and i ended up like this. and in theory.. i didn't walk” he jokes with a smirk, making you exhale through your nostrils as you look to the other side.

he slowly sits up, yawning again, as he lets go of your hand. his hair is a little messed up, and his puffy eyes are mid-open when he looks at you again.

“well, i think we should go to bed,” he says, looking at you. then he shakes his head, blinking rapidly. “i mean, i should go to bed. you can't stay if you want. i—”

“yeah, i'm going to sleep too” you chuckle and grab the control of the tv, turning off the screen. he closes his mouth after two seconds and then talks again.

“all right” nodding, he gets up. “good night.”

“good night, jake.” he smiles at you one more time and goes to his bedroom.

a week later, you're in front of an asleep jake again, who's standing up in the middle of the hallway, midway to your bedroom.

you were on the couch when he came out of his room and stayed outside his door for a couple of minutes. then he started walking towards your door room.

“jake, this isn't your room..” he tried one more time to keep walking, but you blocked his way, and he stayed in his place.

you put your hands on his shoulders and made him slowly turn around, and he did so. until he wanted to enter your room one more time.

“you're like this even when you're sleeping” you whine, still with your hands over his shoulders. then you try one more time to guide him to his door, bearly pushing him. and he starts walking, letting you guide him.

you let him go, and he kept walking towards his door. until he entered and closed it behind him.

you stare at the door closed, sighing.

the next morning, you two are eating breakfast together when he feels your stare.. well, for about five minutes now.

“what is it?” he doesn't look up at you. he just keeps chewing his food, staring at his plate.

“hm?” you blink, coming out of your mind. and then you start eating your food.

“you have been staring at me..” he finally looks up, grinning. now he is the one looking at you.

“no, it's nothing,” you answer as you chew some food. your eyes are fixed on the table, away from his.

“come on, tell me” he insists, looking at you with his shiny eyes. you raise your head, meeting them. and he immediately recognizes that look. “wait a minute.. don't tell me i did something again.”

“yeah, maybe.” he sighed loudly, leaving his fork to the side. “last night, you tried to walk into my room.” he choked on the food he was swallowing, coughing as he reached for the glass of water next to him, making you look at him concerned.

“w-what? you were sleeping?” his ears were red again. you shake your head. and he sighs, a little alleviated.

“no, i wasn't” you started chuckling because of his face. “it's fine, jake.. i have to say it's a little funny.” you confess before chewing a toast.

“i'ts so embarrassing” he whines, dropping his head on his hands, like throwing a tantrum. “what i'm gonna do next?” he says with furrowed eyebrows. eyes fixed on the table, zoning out.

“i fear i have to lock up in your room,” you say, pretending to be serious. you didn't want him to feel this bad, so you try to light the ambiance.

“yeah, that's a good idea.” he nods and looks up at you, totally agreeing with what you just said. his look makes you smile as you get up, grabbing your empty plate.

“you're like an animal or something?” you murmured, making him shake his head.

“i mean no, but i don't wanna bother you” he complains again. meanwhile, you wash your plate as you look at him struggling on the table.

“i'm not gonna lock you down, jake.” he quickly stands up, with a big smile on his lips. something came to his mind.

“then i'm gonna lock me down by myself.”

today is sunday morning, and the sun that is coming from the curtains makes you start blinking as you turn your head to the opposite, waking you up.

and you are about to stretch yourself in bed like you always do, but then you feel something that is stopping you from moving. more specifically a body.

blinking a couple of times, you look behind you. and there, between the white bed sheets, it's jake, completely asleep with his head peacefully resting against the pillow.

you immediately feel the racing of your heart as you gasp. so you turn again to stop looking at his face and notice his arms around your waist, stopping you from moving away. they are holding you like you are his personal teddy bear or something.

so, without waking him up, you try to take off his arms, but his grip is firm around your stomach. and after a few tries, you finally made yourself free from his hands. but when you were about to stand up, he pulled you against his chest again, making you yelp.

this was some habit he has, you thought.

you stay there with your face against the pillow for a couple of seconds. and then, finally, his grip slowly loosens.

“you're awake?” you murmur without moving. you don't want to look at him since you probably have your face completely red.

“hm..” he says and turns around, taking his hands away from you and making himself more comfortable against the pillow.

you sit up next to him and look at his body. he's still sleeping, with his arms now under the pillow.

“you sneaked up into my room while i was sleeping, maybe i should looked you down,” you said, looking at him from the corner of your eyes. he didn't say anything.

after a couple of minutes of complete silence, you get up and go to the bathroom.

and an hour later, while you are making breakfast, you see jake coming with slow steps. standing up next to you with his eyes glued on the floor. his arms stiff on his sides.

“ah, the sleeping beauty,” you grin, cutting some fruit. he stands up closer, finally making you look up at him with a raised brow.

“i sleep in your.. bed.” the murmur that slips out of his lips made you smile.

“yeah? i didn't notice” you answer finally laughing because of his face full of guilt.

“i'm really sorry.. i promise you that i locked my door. i even put two boxes in front.” he talks as he looks at you ashamed. his eyes shine with guilt.

“here.” you extend him a mug with coffee. he blinks, grabbing it in his hand. and with a mid-open mouth, he looks at you confused.

“why you're never mad at me when i do this type of thing?” he asks all of a sudden while you keep doing your thing without looking at him.

“it's not your fault,” you say before biting the inside of your cheek, eyes fixed on the fruit.

“yeah, but anyone would be mad or uncomfortable,” he refutes, searching for your eyes. you don't raise your head. “then why?”

“i don't know..” you walk to the fridge, shrinking. this is starting to make him feel nervous as he follows you with his eyes.

“are you not telling me something?”

you are grabbing some yogurt when you froze for a couple of seconds.

“what? no” you scoff, nervous. he puts the mug on the table, approaching you with slow steps.

“what is it?” his soft tone made you finally look at him.

“i don't mind those kinds of things, okay?” you finally say, letting the yogurt on the fridge again and closing it. jake stays there with a surprised face and a little confused. “that's the reason.”

“what does that mean?” he makes three more steps and is standing right in front of you.

“i don't know. i just like it when you're around me and.. stuff.” a smile starts to grow between his lips, finally understanding what you didn't, or didn't want to.

his smile grows wider as he stares at you, making you swallow.

“i like to be around you, too.” your heart is about to blow out of your chest when you hear him.

“good then.” you nod, avoiding his eyes again.

and now that you noticed you were trapped against the fridge and his frame in front of you.

“you're not good at expressing yourself when you aren't joking, aren't you?” he murmurs and tilts his head. he was almost towering you, making you look up a bit to look at his eyes.

“you realize that just now?” you ask ironically. he shakes his head with a grin.

his sudden confidence made you want to rip the smirk out of his face. you want to push him. you want to run away and hide because you're feeling exposed.

after a couple of seconds in silence, he speaks

“you haven't.. noticed yet?” his voice was sweet, and his eyes soft. you looked at him, waiting. “all this time, i liked you.”

you stare at him in shock. the voice didn't want to come out. then look to the floor, and then back at him, avoiding his eyes.

“we're.. i think we..” you were trying to search for the right words, but your mind was in a trance.

“we..” he moves his head a little lower, closer, making you unconsciously lean back, as you feel your face hot and your heart beating fast.

“i think.. we mutually like each other.” you finally lock eyes with him, and a smile appears again between his lips. from this distance, you can see all his features.

“mhm.” jake slowly nods.

his shiny eyes and big smile mesmerize you. and without thinking about it, you lean over and peck his lips.

he stays there with wide open eyes and mouth, his confidence from seconds ago falters, making you chuckle as you lean back. when he finally hears your laugh, he wraps his arms around you, capturing your arms, and shutting you up.

“that wasn't long enough,” he complains, squeezing your body against his without harming you as you smile.

“it was..” you answer with a chuckle. jake shakes his head in disagreement.

that definitely wasn't enough.

then he leans to you, giving you a longer kiss.

[n3ptoonz]

'All That Jazz'

Pairing: Professor!Bucky/Professor!F!Reader

Fandom: MCU

Warnings/tags: Smut; Explicit, reader is older - as in like "same age" as him (like mid to late thirties), reader is a foreign theatre teacher; speaks a different language (unspecified), reader is like the complete opposite of bucky, guys i had so much fun writing this, plot, subtle tension, technically public sx, HEELS, freaked out lover boy, body worship, yes he's wearing the suit like in the picture above, light masochism- DAMN - not proofreading allat.

Word count: 3.7k+ ... hahaha 😅

i'm trying out aesthetics/decorated posts, don't mind me🙂‍↕️

italicize text in quotations means a different language is being spoken - pictures used are not depictions

did i get this idea when i saw that quote from sebastian saying when he saw women wear heels sometimes he'd think about what she looks like only wearing heels...? don't even worry bout that bruh-

Bucky has been teaching AP US History at NYU for about five years now and has never worked up the courage to talk to you for more than just a conversation about grades or the occasional gossip about students or staff. You were extroverted and smiley. It's taken a while to get used to people calling him James instead of Bucky, but he kind of looked forward to hearing you say it in your sweet, honey-like voice. Everyday since he's gotten the job and seen you in the halls, you've worn a different color/patterned hat and stylish outfit that hugged your form just right, often tied together with a scarf around the neck. It drove him a little crazy to say the least.

Sometimes his students would tease him and tell him to just go for it already, to which he just brushes off and playfully glares at them. And there was that one time he saw you strutting towards the elevator in a blazer and pencil skirt brought together by a pair of red pumps. For the rest of that day he could only think about how you looked with only those heels on...But anyway!

Today was a slow day of grading essays before the midterm. He was knee deep in assignments and just wanted to get it over with.

You are former broadway show runner that hailed from a different country and took up teaching a decade ago in New York City. You were always so sweet and kind to everyone you've met. Theatrical and eccentric in a good way. Your hair was always uniquely styled, a few gray strands that you wore proudly. Your accent was rich as the fabrics you wore and your smile was to die for. You took particular interest in the introverted James Bucky Barnes, as you had never met someone like him before. But you found that to be a good thing.

It wasn't abnormal for you to frequently visit his classroom whether he was teaching or not. Your students often teased you too about how often you went out of your way to go to a whole floor below yours just to see him.

Three light knocks came to the door of his classroom before you popped your head in. You beamed your typical smile at him with a small wave.

"Hello, James," you chimed. "I hope I am not intruding on your grading process?" you asked, still standing at the door.

Bucky looked up from the stack of essays he had been grading, slightly startled but pleased to see you standing at the doorway. He set down his pen and leaned back in his chair, offering you a small smile in return. "Hey, ah, no, not at all. I could use a break from these essays," he replied, gesturing to the pile on his desk. "What brings you in?"

"I was just thinking about the upcoming midterm and wanted to bounce some ideas off you," you explained, stepping further into the classroom. "But now that I said it out loud, it sounds...boring." you added and turned to him. "Perhaps an evening at the jazz bar down the road isn't too big of an ask?"

You looked at him with those bright, expressive eyes, your smile still playing at the corners of your lips. It was clear you had taken a liking to the reserved history professor, appreciating his quiet intensity and sharp mind. The students' teasing remarks about your frequent visits to his classroom only served to encourage you, showing you that your interest in him was not unnoticed or unwelcome.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at your suggestion, a hint of surprise flickering across his face before a slow, genuine smile spread across his lips. "An evening at the bar, huh? That does sound more interesting than grading these essays," he mused, glancing back at the stack of papers on his desk.

He folded his arms across his chest, leaning casually against the edge of his desk as he considered your offer. "I suppose I could stand to take a break from the academic world for a little while. There are a few things I've been wanting to discuss with you as well," he admitted, his blue eyes meeting yours.

Bucky knew he should probably keep things professional, but there was something about your open mindedness for life and eccentric charm that made him want to let his guard down, even if only a little.

"Tell you what, why don't we meet there around 7? I can finish up here and then join you for a drink and a chat," he proposed, already looking forward to spending more time in your company.

"Sounds perfect! I should be able to get a good amount of grading done in an hour and a half. Good call." you nodded and sauntered over to the door. "Goodbye for now. And don't even be a minute late." you playfully narrowed your eyes and pointed at him before you chuckled and left out the door; the sound of your heels receding down the hallway.

Bucky watched as you sauntered out of his classroom, your playful warning and the sound of her heels echoing in his ears. He couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself but also mutter something not-so-appropriate under his breath. He ran his hands over his face and scratched his beard in thought. Thoughts of you and wondering if he just completely missed that you essentially asked him out on a date after work. Huh.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the clock was at 6:50. Bucky gathered up the graded essays and put them away in a drawer, straightening his tie and grabbing his coat--burnt orange, like his suit--before heading out of the classroom. After the short elevator ride to the ground floor, he exited the building and spotted the bar just a short distance away.

You were already at the bar with a glass of wine and swaying to the music when he walked in and spotted you. You glanced in his direction as he approached, that familiar smile flashing at him again.

"James!" you chimed and gestured for him to sit down. "Thought you might stand me up." you added in a teasing way given that he was definitely a minute late.

"Wouldn't dream of it." he said as he sat down, ordering for himself before looking back at you. "So, what did you want to discuss about the upcoming midterm?" he asked in a genuinely curious tone. He figured he play it safe, but he couldn't help but notice now that you look a little different than earlier. You weren't wearing a hat or scarf, your dress shirt was three buttons loose at the top and your lipstick was touched up. You appeared more...laidback; inviting.

You hummed and swirled the wine in the glass after taking a sip. "This is a little embarrassing," you said with a small chuckle. "I was really just finding an excuse to come talk to you. My midterms are very different from other curricula as it pertains to materials and...well, I guess I didn't want to sound too forward inviting you out for drinks on a school night." you added as you took another sip of wine.

Bucky nodded and laughed to himself. So he was correct in assuming this was like a date. Noted.

He took a sip of his whiskey as it arrived, the smooth burn familiar and welcome. "Well, I'm glad you found an excuse to invite me out for drinks," he replied, his voice deep and sincere. "Doesn't bother me at all."

Bucky allowed his gaze to linger on you for a moment, taking in the sight of you with the top few buttons of your shirt undone and your lips touched with a fresh coat of lipstick. The look was inviting, alluring, and he found himself clouded once again. All the possibilities laid bare in his mind with you sitting right in front of him. Seldom an ounce of shame.

"We could make this like a regular thing." he continued. The words left his lips before he could process the proposition but you didn't look put off by it. Not even a little bit. Instead, you gave a considering look.

"Sounds like a plan." you said, cheers-ing with his glass and finishing your drink. You leaned on the counter and just looked at him, admiring his features.

"So what does free time usually look like for Professor Barnes?" you asked as you tapped the rim of the glass in idle rhythm. Bucky took another swig of liquid courage before answering.

"Well, as you can probably imagine, my free time is usually spent in the pursuit of knowledge and learning," he began, a hint of playful weariness in his voice. "But I enjoy just sitting in the quiet sometimes. Going for walks to clear the mess that is my mind for a while, some reading, all that jazz."

He paused before continuing, realizing his answer might've been dry or a downer. "Though I must admit, lately my free time has been taken over by thoughts of a certain charming professor from upstairs," he added, his pretty blue eyes locked with yours as a slow smile spread across his face.

Good save, Barnes.

You gave him a look of 'Oh, really?' written all over your face, no words needed as you finished the last of your wine before standing up and holding out your hand.

"Would you like to dance?" you proposed. Your tone was one of why the hell not? What do we have to lose? Bucky stared for a moment, chuckling to himself. He hasn't danced since 1943, it feels like. He wasn't one for the activity, let alone has he ever had the chance to share it like this with a beautiful, talented woman such as yourself. He followed suit and finished his glass before standing up and taking your hand, a small embarrassed smirk on his face. Your heart fluttered at the sight of his eyes crinkling with joy.

"Why the hell not?" he said, letting you lead the way to the floor littered with people dancing together to the song You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To sung live. In a strange way, it brought Bucky back. To a time he thought long forgotten. A time he wanted to forget. Yet being here with you was game changer for sure.

"I have to warn you, though. It's been a while and I'm not as light on my feet as I used to be." he continued with a sheepish laugh under his breath. You waved it off and held both of his hands.

"Not a problem. Let's start steady, just follow me." you said, moving with every other beat so it wasn't too fast for him. He caught on faster than he thought. He matched your moves and rhythm in record time. This was the first time in a while he genuinely smiled. His grin was so wide and his grip on your hands was grounding.

"Someone's a fast learner!" you chirped. "'Been a while' my ass."

Bucky laughed and twirled you in his hand, taking your hands again and letting the song take him over.

"What can I say? I finally have a proper partner." he said, spinning you again. His heart stopped for a second at his own words. Did he just say that?

This time you ended up pulled flush to his chest. Bucky looked down at you with light pink cheeks as he cleared his throat. Just realizing his palm was resting comfortably on the small of your back.

"I didn't- I meant like-"

"I know what you meant." you said with a head tilt and lightly patted his chest in reassurance. You were both panting from the surge of energy that suddenly hit you both during the song. His lips pulled into a short knowing smile. As the song was coming to an end, something clicked in his brain, like he was teleported back to 1942. He held you tighter and dipped you, his face hovering over yours as if it was just you two in the room. Your gasp wasn't missed when you clutched onto his shoulders. You looked up at him like he was crazy, but not in a bad way.

When he slowly brought you back up, he saw a bright young woman in her twenties. A girl he wanted to impress, maybe get some ice cream with later. A girl he just wanted to walk around the city and hold hands with. He would be in uniform and try to sound as cool as possible with soldier talk.

Nobody else dancing around them mattered. And he knew it couldn't be the one glass of whiskey he ordered because he can't get drunk. It was you.

Maybe it was always you.

Neither one of you has uttered a word in the last sixty seconds. Just staring and holding each other. He wanted to say something first but his mouth had gone dry. He blinked and he was brought back to the present. A woman that looked around his age giving him the same look he was probably giving her.

"We should head back." you said. You saw him blink a few more times, as if to snap out of his own thoughts before he reluctantly let you go. He rubbed the back of his neck and gestured towards the exit. He didn't have anything else to say, really. This kind of thing--all of it--was lost on him. It's not like he's never been in love before, but damn it he truly thought he forgot what that felt like. What it was. What it meant to him and what it would mean for anyone he might fall for again.

Perhaps he's being a little dramatic, right? That was your job!

It was a quiet walk back to school. The university building in immediate distance yet it felt a mile away. Bucky felt awkward. Like maybe he messed up somehow with his lover boy bullshit. He had hoped he didn't. And if he did, he'd do anything in his power to fix it.

You, on the other hand, were trying to compose yourself. The attraction you felt towards him was suffocating. The tension between you two given any time you were together could be sliced in half. Now? You couldn't breathe. And the faint cologne on his collar was never a help.

The elevator ride was no better. Close yet so far. You two could barely make eye contact.

Once at his classroom, you haven't a clue why you walked in. You stopped at the door, gripping the knob for dear life. Your muscles contracted with something you haven't felt in years. That familiar sensation in your chest that spread to the rest of your body. You watched him awkwardly walk over to his desk and move some papers around like he was reading something. You could tell now that he thought he did something wrong.

Bucky ran his hand over his beard and sighed before turning to you. "I, uh," he started, taking a few steps towards you with his hand in his pocket. "If I came on too strong..."

He was still talking when you closed the door behind you and walked over to him, a finger to his lips as you pushed him backwards to the whiteboard. He looked at you with a bit of surprise. Shocked at your boldness but also that you made it clear he didn't mistake anything.

You slid your finger from his lips to his jaw, urging him to lean forward to meet your lips. You gave him a simple kiss. You wanted to pull back and maybe make a witty remark about how nervous he was, but he was activated now. You only invited him in and he's moving like he owns the place.

His hands slid around your back to hold you closer than ever. His strong arms unyielding but safe. He even made sure his metal arm wasn't using as much pressure as his flesh one.

It didn't take long for the kiss to get heated. The wine on your tongue nearly as sweet as you. The whiskey on his almost just as intoxicating. You could feel his arousal pressing against your thigh through your skirt, practically screaming to be released from its confines. The serum running through his veins allowed him hold his breath longer than the average person. However, Earth to Bucky, she can't breathe!

He backed away with a soft pant. His eyes half-lidded while the sound of you catching your breath filled this corner of the classroom. He could only think about how you looked with only those heels on...

"You're beautiful." he said, the back of his hand caressing your cheekbone. His gaze by itself was consuming you whole. Part of your focus was your smeared lipstick on his lips and his arms holding you like you were married for years in every timeline.

Bucky kissed you again as he lifted you by your hips to carry you to his desk. Once you were sat down he started to undo your buttons with fervor. There went your shirt in three seconds tops. Then your skirt, which took longer because he loved how it looked sliding down those thighs along with your panties. He sucked marks onto your neck as the skirt hit the floor, leaving you completely bare after he unclipped your bra without missing a beat.

He didn't bother with your shoes and you wondered why. So, when you went to remove them he stopped you, looking you dead in the eyes.

"These stay on." he said, pressing a kiss to your knuckle. He crouched down before you and started to tail kisses up your legs--tip of the shoe first. "Tell me about your favorite play." he whispered against your foot and kept kissing. You shuddered and gripped his desk. The sight before you almost too much to bear.

You started on about your favorite play, when you saw it, where you saw it, how it made you feel. Occasionally pausing in between thoughts so you didn't lose them due to this man worshipping every inch of your body. Bucky gave a longer kiss to a birthmark, smiling to himself when you softly gasped.

Once he reached your thighs, he slowly pried them open but his eyes were on your face. Watching what he's doing right. The most bizarre thing was that he was still fully clothed. His bulge the most obvious thing in the room against those tight ass pants--that did wonders for his ass, by the way.

In the blink of in eye, your lips meet again, your legs wrap around him, and he's inside of you. He groaned and cursed like he took a bite from his favorite food of all time.

You could get lost in the pools of his irises. They were just so blue. James Barnes, akin to a siren without uttering a word.

He wanted to set a slow pace, he really did, but damn it girl he nearly slipped out several times because of how wet you were from him just admiring your legs and you looked butt ass naked in only heels. This wasn't some shit you'd get back home so definitely weren't going back anytime soon.

When your heel scraped his back a little bit, he moaned into your shoulder. Your eyes widened just a tad. Bucky was tucked securely inside of you, thrusting and humping you like he'd die if he stopped. You were half hazy, trying to keep down your own sounds of pleasure but you were aware enough to lift your leg and drag your heel on his clothed back again. He moaned louder, gripping your hips tighter.

"Please," he whispered desperately. "Oh, baby, I'm not ready to be a father."

You twitched underneath him and ran your fingers through his hair, the other hand scratching his back to hold yourself back. That unraveling feeling was rapidly approaching you were seeing stars. Your breaths irregular and your walls clamping down on him. Almost like you were telling him it was okay.

"Shit-" he hissed in response as his hand slid up your waist so he wouldn't lose his grip. The pace increased in an instant and his climax was drawing near too. You felt so good against him. Your skin. Your lips. Your silky walls. The messy, squelching sound that echoed off the walls was a song he'd have on repeat. He made love to you with everything he had. Everything that was mildly irritating him today went into every stroke.

Your heel scraped against him one more time, just a little harder by accident and he was gone. His limbs weakened but he pulled out in time. Quiet, weak whimpers coming from him. Something...Something about that alone got him so excited. Maybe it really felt like he was in the 40s again. It was like sneaking into somewhere he wasn't supposed to be and fucking where he wasn't supposed to with a dame he wasn't sure he was taking home.

Your climax hit you two seconds after; an array of praises and filthy words flying out of your mouth under your breath and in your native tongue. Your back arched upwards and your feet pointed, making the heel dig into his side for a second. You clenched your jaw so a string of moans didn't wake up the entire social studies department.

Bucky huffed a heavy breath and stood up straight. His hand taking yours and pulling you up to meet him chest to chest. Holding you once again so you wouldn't fall over. He kissed you on the forehead and rubbed your back in the places that the desk definitely left marks, but you didn't look tired though. You carefully pried him off of you and pushed him backwards towards his desk chair with just your index finger, sitting him down before crawling into his lap.

"The suit stays on."

[3wisellamas]

Tenna the Lightner

So I just did a replay of chapter 3, finding all the little things I missed the first time (like Tenna's Pipis Room embarrassingly enough), but there's a thread I've noticed throughout this whole playthrough:  Tenna is one WEIRD Darkner.  Like, weirder than most.  I'd even go as far as to suggest he might not even fully be a Darkner at all, at least not in his own mind.

Something to note is that while a lot of Darkners seem to know their own histories, and to be at least aware of the Light World and their object forms, it's not until TV World that we really see how deep that knowledge goes.  King tells us how he was betrayed by the Lightners and of his desire for revenge, but doesn't say much about them beyond that -- as if he's only aware of Lightners as a concept, unknowable gods whose presence can no longer be felt.  Queen, also, explicitly sees Lightners solely as their search history, and as a computer she doesn't really...interpret those searches correctly, to say the least.  Even Spamton and the other Addisons, whose entire existence revolves around advertising specifically to Lightners, don't seem to be too aware of them beyond their job.

But Tenna.  Oh boy.  Tenna LIVES more in the Light World than the Dark World.  Let's begin with the biggest piece of evidence:  This image.

This stopped me in my tracks when I first played chapter 3, because of how out of place it is.  Even with TV Worlders in general being slightly more aware of Kris and the rest of the Dreemurr family than other Darkners, this image and Tenna's accompanying comment stand out as the first time ANY Darkner has proven they can perceive the Light World directly.  Spamton had a blue sky and a sun painted in his shop, things that don't exist at all in the Dark World, but not an actual photo like this.  How in the world did Tenna even get this picture of himself, I wonder?  Did he have a Shuttah snap it while someone was carrying a mirror nearby?  However it happened, the important part is TENNA CAN SEE THE LIGHT WORLD.  And in particular, HE CAN SHOW IMAGES OF IT TO OTHER DARKNERS.  Note that, at the beginning of all three boards, he shows (or has Mike show) photos including blue skies and sun, more than likely where Spamton got his own idea of "Heaven" to paint.

More rambling under the cut; I'm just getting warmed up here.

There's also the fact that, while other Darkners will acknowledge their Light World forms and even where they're located -- Queen straight-up saying she's a computer, Pippins mentioning they've been lost in the couch, that one Zapper that knew he was from Catti's house, Lancer and Rouxls hopping into your inventory as playing cards -- Tenna is also the first Darkner to identify and talk about his Light World form as if it's his own body, right down to saying he'd join in adventures if he wasn't plugged into the wall and that he'd look better with a tan -- his LIGHT WORLD form specifically would look better with one, that is.  He also isn't just limited to knowing about and identifying as his Light World form, either, if he really switched on that music video himself after you give him to Mettaton -- aside from...whatever was going on with Spamton and that glitch egg Noelle encountered in her game, we haven't seen any evidence at all that other Darkners are able to take any physical action on their own, outside of the Dark World. If Tenna can change his own channels, which would necessate physically turning his own dial, and possibly even use this ability to communicate with Lightners in some sapient way as I've seen LOTS of fanartists suggest, it's an ability unique to him!

There's also another moment where he shows more extensive knowledge of the Light World than any other Darkner we've yet encountered, one I think is even more damning:

If you get S-rank on either board and access the special dressing room, Ramb reveals to you that Tenna reprogrammed the video games he has you play himself, using an existing video game as a base.  It looks like that wasn't all he was able to do with this skill, though -- while the above effort is clearly unfinished given that you can easily glitch it out with the camera, it's still scarily accurate for someone who's stuck plugged into the wall in the living room, and stuck as a Darkner unable to explore the Dreemurr house on his own.  Again, I wonder how he got this knowledge -- did Kris share their house layout with Tenna at some point?  Did Shuttah snap photos of the rest of the house?  Did Tenna, as my friend suggested, send a bunch of Pippins on an expedition to roll across the floor into the kitchen?  Regardless of how he got the knowledge from his limited vantage point, Tenna knows his own house very well, in a surprising amount of detail at that, and he specifically reprogrammed a game to be able to explore it himself.

I think that's the key to my theory:  Tenna wants to know about and explore the house he inhabits, and not the Dark World created from it.  Hell, he barely has ANYTHING to do with his own Dark World -- at certain points in the chapter, a Shuttah will describe what things were like before Tenna came, and what lies beyond his studio.  At one point they describe a "great wilderness" that's clearly supposed to be the kitchen -- "frozen waste" (the refrigerator), "watery basin" (the sink), and "metal desert" (stove or oven), as well as the "purple cliffs" that are definitely supposed to be either the couch or stairs.  At another point towards the end they mention others who left for "the far land", and that a "legend old hermit" knows the way; as far as I can tell at this point, this has to be referring to the toys and books Toriel took from home to her classroom, with fellow teacher Gerson possibly being the hermit?  

But all of this is outside of Tenna's studio, where he's in control -- literally, the guy can and does do whatever the heck he wants in there, laws of physics be damned.  The STUDIO is TV World, but it lies within a much, much larger Dark World taking up the rest of the Dreemurr house.  A Dark World Tenna clearly wants absolutely nothing to do with, and why would he?  He's not in control.  The Darkners there don't cater to his whims, aren't bound to his contracts.  He's built his own world, whose entire purpose is to be whatever he wants it to be...

And he builds it to resemble the Light World.  Or, to encapsulate his family's Light World.

Literally everything in Tenna's studio is a memory of the Dreemurr family, HIS family.  The cowboy shows Asgore used to enjoy, he has a set for that.  The cooking shows Toriel used to watch, and the kids used to make fun of, he has a set for that.  All of his prizes, from the floral cowboy shower curtains to the chocolate candy to the sink fur traps to the talker-backer(?) are geared toward an individual member of the family, save for two -- the Ralsei plush (either for Ralsei, assuming Tenna thinks he's a relative, or for us, the player, as others have pointed out), and the family car (which Tenna admits he drives every day himself if you visit his bonus room!  In other words, HE INCLUDED A PRIZE MEANT FOR HIMSELF AS A MEMBER OF THE DREEMURR FAMILY).  And it also extends to his memories of the Holidays as well with Dess' music video channel, and even a song she herself enjoyed and shared with her younger sister.

(Yes, Raise Up Your Bat is a real song in-universe.  And Tenna must've enjoyed it himself too, if he kept it around!)

All of this is not just a cry for his family's attention, to go back to watching him, but to be included in their lives beyond that.  His fondest memory is of being watched by everyone during the holidays, with an area just outside the walls of his studio even modeled after that, with snow and Christmas trees scaled up to Tenna-size.  But, more importantly, I feel like he enjoyed being a part of the family in those moments, not just being watched by them.  He watched his family shrink from that point, until no one tuned in anymore, and he doesn't seem to be aware of where they all went -- Tenna's shocked when Kris tells him Asriel went away to college, like he didn't even notice the kid who'd enjoyed video games with Tenna grew up.  He suggests Asgore return to watch the cowboy show he liked, and DESS return as well, as if he's unaware of what happened with her (Maybe.  Tenna does backpedal a bit on that one -- I'm guessing he HAD to have at least seen the news reports of her disappearance.)  Notably, he doesn't actually mention Toriel's and Asgore's divorce, only them arguing, claiming it's a normal thing for couples to do -- COUPLES, as in still together, not former partners.  In general, for someone so obsessed with his family's attention, he either pays very little attention to them in turn, or he's locked out of the loop, and given he frequently asks Kris about specific people I'm guessing it's actually the latter.  Tenna is not aloof, he's driven by loneliness and desperately WANTS to know about his favorite viewers!  He misses them dearly, in more ways than just as an audience, and that might be a big motivation for why he modeled his game after the house, a subconcious desire to escape from his own reality and find out for himself.

We also have someone we can look at for another side to this:  Ramb.  The guy's a Plugboy explicitly stated to be from Cyber World, even fondly recounting his own memories of Queen, Swatch, and Spamton.  But while he now lives in TV World, he doesn't belong there -- that one Pippins mentions that, despite themself being from Card Kingdom they didn't turn to stone because they fit in with the other inhabitants, but Ramb never did, and so he became a statue in the end.  Like Tenna, Ramb also has a very close attachment to Kris, someone who played with him as a toy and broke him out of his normal role -- I feel like this makes him a nice foil for Tenna, who might also feel as though he doesn't belong, as attached to the Light World as he is.  Tenna breaks a LOT of the rules Ralsei sets forth for Darkners like himself, even if he still wants to fulfill his purpose of entertaining the Lightners above all else.  He's understandably devastated by the idea that he's due to be thrown away, for being old and obsolete -- and rather than accepting it as Ralsei suggests, the idea that he's gotten old breaks Tenna completely and he does what he can to ENSURE he won't be tossed onto the curb.  He captures Toriel and is willing to hand her over to the Knight, and also captures and tortures Kris and Susie for even suggesting that they're tired of playing his games.  And most interestingly, with them trapped in prize balls, he takes it upon himself to play the game for them -- Tenna gladly becomes Player 1, something Ralsei has to be FORCED into, stating it's something he's not supposed to be!  I also find it interesting that, despite not even having a chair for himself nor even a reason to be there (having an in-game avatar to give hints instead), Tenna absolutely insists on joining the Fun Gang for the video game rounds, with his absences to take calls only being temporary, rushing back in to rejoin afterward.  It could be Tenna wanting to keep an eye on them, making sure they don't try to leave and/or see their reaction to the games he created, but more than that, I get the feeling he just wants to be included, since these are the moments he gets especially chatty and friendly and un-host-like, letting his antennae down so to speak, like he's just playing video games with his friends and/or sibling!  

There's also a couple very subtle hints that, like Ramb, Tenna doesn't really feel like he belongs in TV World, at least not anymore, and his desperation to maintain control of his former employees during the latter part of the chapter could partially stem from that.  His shame over keeping a Pipis being one, and the other...well.  It seems pretty benign to a Lightner, but from a Darkner's point of view Tenna playing a "TV Statue" in the Suziezilla game has to give one pause:

Finally, there's the specific, loaded words Tenna uses in Castle Town for being given to another Lightner to enjoy:  "Adopt."  "Forever home."

Tenna doesn't just want new viewers, he wants a new FAMILY.  And specifically, he doesn't want a Darkner family, he wants to become part of another LIGHTNER family!  Because he saw himself as a Dreemurr, until Toriel wanted to get rid of him.  A lot of people like to point out Tenna's mental health issues coming from being a child of divorce, but I'd say there's a little child abandonment and social isolation going on in that TV head of his too.  Maybe that's why he and Susie get along so well, given her own implied neglect, and is one of many reasons why Tenna so urgently wants to impress Kris, another non-goat monster welcomed into the family.  

In a lot of ways, Tenna turns the formula established in the first two chapters of Deltarune on its head.  In those, we had a main boss character, a cruel ruler whose presence dominates their particular Dark World and whose plans involve destroying or expanding into the Light World.  And then, a secret boss hidden somewhere in the chapter, requiring effort to find / battle but always with certain themes behind them:  Freedom.  Reaching beyond the Dark World's confines into "Heaven."  If you look at Tenna, he's the latter type of boss rather than the former:  He cruelly rules his studio, sure, but it's just a small part of the larger Dark World, his sphere of influence basically limited to those he suckers into signing his contracts.  He isn't even the final boss for his chapter, with the Knight taking that role.  He has zero ambitions at all for the Light World, but he knows of it far more extensively than other Darkners, with its entertainment literally beamed into his antennae at all times, and in his own way Tenna yearns to reach out to it in turn, to gain his freedom from obsolescence.  To break the rules, and be more than just an old, obsolete Darkner.

[hvacfucker]

Miscellaneous Hector Headcanons! SFW!

A short list of me contextualizing Hector in the real world versus the object world. Please feel free to comment your thoughts! Also, I haven't explored anything beyond Hector's romance route, (yes, I'm talking about [ ] which I don't yet know the details of!!) so please keep things spoiler free if you'd like to comment!

🎭 Hector lived, breathed, slept Shakespeare as a child/teenager. Like ugh, he'd never seen such beauty in poetry before! Every lesser-known sonnet, every underrated play, Hector studied them all, agonizing over Shakespeare's wit and mastery of iambic pentameter, hoping to one day emulate even just the faintest shadow of his literary prowess. In fact, so enamored with the mystique of theater, Hector secretly longed for the stage.

🎭 It probably comes as no surprise those dreams were never realized.

🎭 God, it took him ages to recover from his Hamlet audition. (Or, did he ever?) The hours he spent practicing his lines, the paragraphs upon paragraphs of dense analysis searing his retinas at 3AM. To think it amounted to nothing? Hector still cringes at that particular chapter of his youth.

🎭 He can still see his taped mark from behind the cover of red velvet. Feel how his legs turned to lead, willing them to step up, but they wouldn't— couldn't move. Oh and the sounds of the drama directors shuffling through their clipboards, somehow taking the driest sips of water as they conferred their watches over the winding minutes? Don't remind him. (Sorry Hector)

🎭 Yeah, turns out stage fright and acting exist as such irreconcilable antipodes it's simply possible for them to find any common ground. Let alone cease their vying for control over Hector's autonomy so that he might dare to try again. Life lesson swiftly learned.

🎭 Although, he makes for an excellent stagehand! Working behind the scenes, that's much more Hector's speed anyway. He's content to spectate from the shadows, wistfully mouthing Juliet's lines as she laments her dear Romeo, Hector's arm maneuvering the industrial-grade fan so that her curls gently dance in the synthetic moonlight at just the right rhythm.

🎭 Outside drama club, crew work is thankless, but it's something Hector takes pride in. Without stagehands, there'd be no production to enjoy, after all! (To me, Hector makes so much sense as a theater kid lmfao)

🎭 Side note: I used to live in the heart of a city that had Shakespeare fests/ren faire parades/events. I feel like Hector would attend those?? Fair-goers would even wear those feathered, masquerade-style masks and get allll dressed up. So maybe he'd utilize such costumes to help with his shyness? I could see him taking advantage of the roleplay pretenses to get out of his shell and embrace a crowd of like-minded people!

🏰 Hector also gives me the vibe of someone who adores The Princess Bride. It's familiar, humorously fantastical, oozing romance with juust the right amount of cheesy, and unapologetically sincere. It's so... safe, and brings him unrivaled comfort when he finds himself yearning for a romance a fraction of the fairytale of which Buttercup and Westley have. (And yes, I feel like he'd love Phantom of the Opera and V for Vendetta for obvious, masked romance related reasons)

💝 Speaking of romance, ohmigod, he's so corny when it comes to Valentine's day. The chocolates, the roses, the oversized, overpriced pink-furred teddy bear. Hector bought them all; tolerated the knowing looks as he waited in line at the grocery store, afterwards writing the most heartfelt card his lover has ever read. (Hector's the type to make someone cry with how personal his letters are.)

💝 If his partner were to reciprocate in kind? Well, he could cry too — wait, he is crying! This is the extravagant display he's longed for: the one where someone isn't afraid to show-off how deeply they're in love with him; how proudly they're committed; to the point they're even willing to endure a bit of social heckling, just as he did. Of course Hector's moved to tears. He just loves them so much! To think his lover could match his affections, he's elated and made humble all at once.

[primrosepurple234]

In honor of pride month, I’ll be talking about my resident evil label head cannons and my favorite ships

Ps: I’m a multi-shipper, so the ships I bring up aren’t my end all be all, but just my favorite for each main character

Chris: gay… have you seen the way this man treats every woman he comes across, and he was originally in love with Wesker, but moved on and is now in love with Leon.

Jill: straight, but Demisexual, she needs to have formed a deep bond before getting physically attracted to someone, she fell in love emotionally, then later physically, with Carlos.

Carlos: he gives me straight vibes, but he's a hopeless romantic

Leon: bi with a preference for men, had a very one-sided thing with Krauser(on krausers side). There was some tension with Ada, but he eventually ended up with Chris.

Claire: a lesbian, and she was SOOOOO confused for the longest time of the fact that she could never really develop feelings for men, especially men who were known in canon to be attractive, like Leon, but she eventually figured it out, and has a massive crush on Ada that she wants to take to her grave, but probably won't. (Redfields and their horrible romantic tastes)

speaking of which, Ada: Bi with no particular preference, she doesn't really think of it most of the time, too busy with work and all. it's also the fact that her relationships are normally marred with the fact that she's this "amazing unknowable superspy" ( I'm looking at you Simmions), but Claire doesn't really care about that type of thing.

Wesker- Pan, could not give less of a fuck about their gender, but definitely has a type, and by that, I mean people with savior complexes. had a thing with Miss. Muller , and then with Chris.

Rebecca: likes dudes, but is asexual, and falls in love with Billy

[sparrows4bats]

Damian only shows his art to those he trusts for years.

His art is so deeply personal that he can't bear for it to be perceived, much less gifted to others.

Dick gets his first painting during his time as Damians Batman.

Steph gets hers after the bounce house.

Alfred commissions him so he has new art for the house. His favourite is a family portrait he keeps in his bedroom.

Duke gets gifted sketches of Signal and Gotham in the sunrise

Cass gets given beautiful moments of ballet dancers.

Bruce is given portraits of his parents.

Damian paints Tim's photographs.

Jason gets artfully designed bookmarks.

Barbara has lovely landscapes and shots of the city she protects from behind her desk.

Other get given bits and piece Damians thinks they might enjoy.

But Jon Kent has an almost constant supply and access to Damians doodles.

He is Damians' creativity buddy and sounding board. Damian draws manga and comics while Jon write stories for them.

There's only one sketchbook he doesn't get to see, the one Damian keeps locked in his desk.

Jon has asked before, but Damian always shuts him down, saying it's private, and Jon respects that even if he is curious. If the magical girl ocs were fine, what is in that particular book?

Until one day Damian is kidnapped, and he has to go through his room for clues to who took him, and even if he feels weird about it, he opens the forbidden sketchbook.

He is expecting secrets, trauma, and the parts of himself that Damian hates.

What he finds is hundreds of sketches of Jon himself.

Each one is so full of detail and so lovingly drawn that feels like he is being burned.

Every freckle is correct, Damian drew close ups of his dimples, and his scars.

Seeing himself through Damians eyes is so intimate it feels like holding his very heart.

So Jon puts the book back where he found it without the other bats noticing.

When they find and rescue Damian, Jon knows he has to tell him but how?

Jon thinks of the sketches he wasn't supposed to see, and something in him melts even while he drowns in guilt.

So one night he confronts Damian when he best friend asks him about colour palettes.

"I saw your secret sketchbook, and I am so sorry!" Jon shouts and braces himself for Damians' anger. It doesn't come.

"What?" Damian sounds scared, and that is so much worse.

"When you were missing your Dad and brothers made me go through your room! Day I'm so sorry!"

"Did they see it too?" Damian shrinks in on himself, and Jon wants to hug him so badly.

"No! I put it back straight after I realised what it was, I swear!"

Damian huffs and looks away.

"So you know?"

Jon gulps, "know what?"

"That I'm in love you." Damian looks for Jons reaction and seeing his face starts to get up to leave. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable Jonathan. I shall depart."

Jon grabs his arm. "No! Day don't leave! I'm sorry! I just need a second. Please."

Damian stops but doesn't turn around. "I do not want your pity."

"It's not pity! Damian, I love you! I have for years and I'm just sorry I saw before you were ready to show me!" Jon is getting desperate now. He can't lose Damian. He doesn't think he will survive it.

"Really? You're not just saying that to spare me?"

Jon is horrified and spins Damian to be able to see his face. "Damian, what the hell! Why would I lie about this?!"

Damian has tears in his eyes when he finally meets Jon gaze. "I don't know, it just feels impossible for you to love someone like me."

"It's impossible not to love you! Believe me, I tried! I was terrified it would destroy our friendship, and I wanted to have some of you even if it wasn't in the way I wanted."

Damian sighs and slowly kisses him. When he pulls back, he laughs a little.

"We are both idiots."

Jon grins and wipes the tear that manages to escape. "Yeah, we are, but at least we figured it out eventually. I love you, Damian. Truly and completely."

"I love you too." Then Damian kisses him again.

Jon has the sketch Damian draws of Jon asleep beside him the next morning framed.

[sshiostwordblog]

The absolute urge to just POUNCE on someone and tickle them silly is just unbearable, I crave to sneak up on someone and trap them in a bear hug and just lazily flutter my fingers around their ears, neck or sides and hear the sweet giggles that follow. Having no friends in here to do that with is such a pain

[zivazivc]

my brainrot about these two can be measured in liters

[solaestial]

I'm glad you're evil too - Pinocchio-P

[yardsards]

people love an "i'll take care of you" "it's rotten work" "not to me, not if it's you" character dynamic until the character who needs to be taken care of is disabled. then it's supposedly fucked up and toxic for a person to have to take care of someone else.

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I think I need that "Wow, I haven't stubbed my toe in five months! I was then shot fifty-seven times." Audio again

[pynkhues]

I hope this doesn't seem like a pressuring ask but I was curious if you were planning to finish like a dogless bone? Under the circumstances it's understandable and within your right to leave the fic incomplete but I was wondering if it was going to be completed. And if you choose to update please update at your leisure, I support you whatever you decide and I know many other readers also support you and want you to be safe.

It doesn't seem pressuring at all, anon! Honestly, I haven't opened the doc since that last round of threats and harrassment on Thursday, which is kind of a bummer, because I suspect that was a part of the intent, especially given I increasingly do think those negative comments on Ungodly Hour were probably from the same cohort of people. I do still plan on finishing it though, and am actually even planning on having a look at it this afternoon, so wish me luck! :-)