#I've also been avoiding everything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cl-0v3r · 6 months ago

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I’ve seen that you haven’t been posting at all recently, just hopping your doing okay.

Hello dear anon! Thank you so much for checking in, I appreciate you so much ♡

I'm alright! As you can see, i'm still alive :D, I've unfortunately been a little busy irl (a lot), and I figured taking a break off social media would be more suitable to manage my time irl,,

I apologize for being inactive for so long, and I am so sorry for those who sent me asks and still haven't been answered to this day, I promise once I find a fitting schedule, you will all be answered. Thank you <3

#thank you anon #anon ask #answered #🍀#Finals are coming up soon D:#I've also been avoiding everything #To take a mental break #Arcane gives me a large enough toll just thinking about it </3 #MEL MEDARDA YOU MAKE ME SUFFER.#Its okay tho I love you

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0246h · 2 months ago

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misophonia + sensory issues are torture. i'm so tired of all of this.

#misophonia #i'm so tired of being so triggered by sounds. can't function day to day without plugging my ears 98% of the time #trying not to relapse in sh and skin scratching but it completely fell through over hearing a spoon hit a glass bowl #i think dealing with noise triggers is one of the hardest things to cope with. i just cannot do it #i've tried watching mukbangs & people using utensils my whole life to adjust and “get over it” as so many have told me to #but oh my fucking god i can't i want to smash my head into a wall until i can't hear anymore #i've spent so long isolating and avoiding everything just so i can't hear trigger noises #even in therapy my therapist played audio that triggers me & tried to do tapping exercises to help #but i fear i'm doomed #i wanna vomit tbh. this makes life hell. it makes me feel so stupid #also makes me feel childish with people because their responses are always like “you should have grown out of this by now”#because my whole life it's been “you'll grow out of it” i genuinely looked forward to that day where i would grow out of it....#desperately couldn't wait for my time but now since being diagnosed with autism + adhd & learning more ik it's just stuck with me #i can't grow out of neurodevelopmental disorder or symptoms. i have sm grief w this diagnosis bc it can't be 'fixed' i thought everything #could be fixed one day... even seeing certain movements triggers hearing the sound in my head when it isn't there. i can't rest.#repetitive movements also bother me and make me want to rip my hair out #like i wish my brain would chill and give me a break. i try so hard to mask everything too around people but i still fall through so much #it's so exhausting #i'm so frustrated and tired #i want to throw up.#i also despise when i've communicated this to people close to me & they'll say they understand + tell me their triggers to relate to me...#then when i have to hang up out of panic on a call... or put my earplugs in in front of someone while talking.. meltdown.. or walk off-#i'm then met with confusion / irritation / anger despite communicating a million times #people are valid to get tired of me over these things. i get that. it's excessive & frustrating. i'm tired of me + these issues too.#but i wish people that said they understood... really did.#i've been called dramatic for years and yeah it is very dramatic. it's fucking awful and has ruined so much for me.#i have huge emotions over it. i'm glad people can brush it off as dramatic and not personally deal with it.#i just laugh and claim the dramatic title a lot of the time because those who say it just really don't understand. it's lonely. i'm so alon #always will be.#tw vent

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caluupin · 1 year ago

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been catching up on TGAA/DGS !! :D

#caluuart #tgaa #dgs #tgaa spoilers #dgs spoilers #the great ace attorney #I just finished TGAA1 but haven't started TGAA2 YET. so yeah. I'll be avoiding major spoilers for now :)#MAAAN the ost slaps tho. I've been listening to it A LOT. it's so good. I love video game music.#I can't put it into words on what I liked abt tgaa bc it's kinda everything. so yeah.#also another thing is that I'm watching a play through and so. one day. I might get my hands on actually playing the game. it'd be cool.#there were a lot of moments where I would be FOCUSED on the game bc it's just. so cool. genuinely can't wait to continue onto dgs/tgaa 2 #It's a bit late in the night rn and so I can't really fully ramble n stuff but do feel free to ask abt my thoughts on it in the asks btw #I'd be very glad to answer and ramble on abt it!!#on another note: sorry for the inactivity! I've lost control over my routine :') I'm trying to catch it up to get back to normal momentum.#anyways! gn everyone

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styxxsyringe · 11 months ago

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Just out of curiosity since its my special interest; what kind of fashion styles would you say you wear/would like to wear? smile

ooo i feel like it's a mix of multiple styles! my friends irl either say that i dress emo or y2k style (i wear a lot of skirts over jeans, fun hats, leg warmers, lots of accessories and stuff...) my main style inspirations are stuff from fruits mag and random outfit pics from pinterest - i buy a lot of my clothes from chinese indie brands like cfierce, eyeelike, and double punch if that gives a good idea!

in short - in warmer months, my style is more harajuku/y2k/etc inspired - colorful oversized shirts, lots of hairclips, keychains, and accessories, cargo pants and shorts, etc!

and in colder months, more emo (according to my friends - i personally don't consider myself emo)/mori kei/twee??? idrk - dark patterned cardigans and sweaters, layered leg warmers, scarfs, hats (like ushankas and baker caps etc)!

if i could dress any other way, i would dress every way. i love all alternative fashion styles so much!!! i've loved alt fashion since i was a wannabe fairy kei 8 year old haha

#ask zeno #chinese indie brands are seriously underrated btw. a lot of stuff you see on pinterest that's miscredited as japanese or korean ...#its actually from chinese brands!#some more brands i've been eyeing are starry uff - hashtag DDD - 4re1gn - and i've also bought some stuff from no romance too!#the only downsides of chinese brands is that you have to jump through a million hoops to buy stuff from proxy sites #pay a shit ton for shipping #and often times the sizing is REALLY limited #i'm UK size XS-S and couldnt fit into M-sized jeans from nonamespace that my sister bought lol #luckily some brands have better sizing but its still a big issue #there are a few western brands that are similar and with more inclusive sizing though! i'd recommend sixth dimension in particular #and i wish i could reccomend minga london but they are seriously extortionate for their quality unfortunately #everything else i get from depop and vinted and other forms of thrifting - i try to avoid fast fashion as much as possible #though most of my accessories were bought from aliexpress a few years ago before i stopped using it #i'm really glad you asked this actually lol i love waffling about fashion stuff

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notonlymice · 1 year ago

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the best girls (my opinion) (movies only)

#emilie de ravin #my things #not only mice but also gifs #reason: i've watched everything relatively short (as slowly as i could🥲) (and wanted to play with fonts x))#(“air force one is down” is technically a miniseries but it's 2 parts under 3 hours so i consider it a movie because i do what i want)#(also the fact that “love and other troubles” must exist somewhere in a decent quality and i can't find it annoys me very much🥲)#i'll probably never fully rewatch most of these (for various reasons) except for “remember me” and maybe “santa's slay” x))#i feel like i have to watch “lost” now but i don't want to be emotionally invested in anything Long #+i didn't avoid watching it when it aired only to start it 15 years later🥲#why everyone back in the day seemed to latch on one particular movie character almost entirely ignoring the rest is still a mystery to me🙃#(though i still know nothing and the party is still over)#follow me for more mediocre gifs and salty opinions on things no one has been interested in for several years now lol #anyem #my anyem/anyelle things #notonlymice

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flaming-toads · 9 months ago

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Sometimes the wips don't get finished because I'm afraid I'm going to ruin them if I continue.

#toad rambles #also woke up at 3 thinking it was 5 for some reason and i should've went back to bed but i thought it would be nice to work on some stuff #because everyone is sleeping #but now i'm left alone with my thoughts for at least another 2 hour #which i've been trying to avoid for oh... my whole life lol #at least i'm funny #i say to myself #on a site that most ppl think is dead #i just don't know what i'm scared of #(besides literally everything)#i mean i've made art i think is bad #and there's ton of old art i look back on now and think could be better #so what's stopping me from just finishing the art?!#why can't i force getting through art like i can with other things?!#what if my art teacher was right...#oh maybe that's what i'm afraid of actually...#toad rants #delete later probably

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spaceytoxinz · 11 hours ago

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Gideon uses a long ass sword because it allows him to get close to somebody but not too close like a dagger or smth. Like his relationships.

#I've thought of this for like 5 minutes because ive been thinking about what weapon Angel would use if he had one #unrealistic but id represent him with a mace/club #he'd have to chase people around to even strike #ofc he doesn't have one canonically #also i realized a while ago that the relationship between angel/Gideon #is the exact same shit as my homestuck oc and eridan from when i was 13 #same dynamic and everything #anxiously clingy emos and their emotionally unstable avoidant hipsters #who just so happen to be their crushes but are conflicted on it #what is wrong with me

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 9 months ago

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so is Norovirus one of those things that like, if you're exposed to germs you are GOING to get it, or is it something you can avoid? asking for a friend

#my dad has it 😭#everything I've heard about it is that if you're even in an area that someone who has it has been then you're cooked #which is probably a bit extreme but also I'm Scared. gastro bugs are literally like I would rather die #so... avoiding my father. my mom has a diffuser blowing thieves in the main area. taking lots of vitamin C etc #Lu rambles

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vampyyrism · 9 days ago

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clawing at the walls of my expense

falling into one of those funks again

losing schedules and physical presence

apologies in advance for not being the most publicly present :(

#it's weird when you run out of gas after chugging real good for a minute #I'm still doing stuff i think we just lost our social battery in the sea of #of everything kind of #not a depression just some kind of social burnout #but also still yearning for socializing #avoiding inbox but also immediately replying to dms #it's funny #i don't really have to apologize for not being absent #but heyyy... if you're curious on where I've been...#it's right hereee...#hahaahaaa :')#vleh vleh vleh #vent post kinda

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emioliravioli · 16 days ago

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Aqua Marine is such a perfect name and you made her look so cool! If i could actually draw I'd probably make my sonic oc a blue raccoon so its nice to know that it does in fact look good. Would have said something sooner but Mario Kart World was calling.

fjdksfhdjsk thank you!!

#and ya know..... no one's gotta be good at drawing #just make it exist!!#oh also run with the confidence of a 10 year old drawing their warrior cats fanart and posting it online #aka me #also ooh........ how's mario kart been?#i've been adamantly avoiding everything to do with the switch 2 but like #is it better than 8? is the open world stuff cool?#ask

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quitedisastrous · 2 months ago

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i wish i could just do nothing for a few days straight. maybe even just sleep for a few days straight. sooo excited for constant misery over the next 20 days

ranting in the tags. i would just scroll past if i were you

#i love college.my favorite part is sitting alone on my couch for 4 months straight and getting so freaked out over grades i spend #5 hours straight trying to avoid the urge to bite into my arm so hard i bruise or bash my head into a wall #meanwhile i keep thinking my life is over. i don't have any evidence. for the first time in my life the future isn't predetermined by #other people and now that i don't know what comes next i just constantly get freaked out. it makes me want to claw through my skin #i know something is wrong with me. it's been 5 years. i know it isn't just going to go away; especially given current circumstances #and how it's only been getting worse over time #but i continue to just sit on my couch and do nothing about it. and since i'm not doing anything about it i just feel like i don't have the #right to complain about it even though shit fucking sucks. months of my life at a time just blur together #god. i was genuinely happy last month when i ripped a bunch of booster packs with my mates that i only see over the summer (minus my bestie #and it made me realize just how much everything's blurred together. i hadn't really felt anything lasting + significantly positive #for months before that. that's not normal #god. i've been wanting to go to bed for the last two hours but i just keep sitting here going “um! you need to study. and wash dishes. and”#so i just. don't. which is already bad but i also need to get up early so i can study for my test tomorrow.#god. fucking dreading my lab tomorrow. went to it last week but dipped at the last minute without getting my work checked off #and without submitting it because i got so angry and freaked out and telling myself “man you can just leave” calmed me down instantly #and then at that point i had like nothing done and i didn't want to admit that so i just. left #if i get asked about it i'll just say it was something personal and i panicked. shrug #a part of me is beyond tempted to skip the lab again but i'm not confident in my assignment grades in that class to do so #even though i'll end up with a 5 point bonus on the final grade from taking a survey. but i'll probably go just cause #it's the second to last lab #man i have three whole ass projects due in that class in 10 days. unless my mental state suddenly improves (it won't) i'm gonna end up doin #those the last possible three days #speaking of assignments. we had to do a group project in my bio lab yeah? the methods my group went with sucked and honestly these #people were a little bit frustrating (i get it. gen ed lab at 7:30am. i'm only in it cause i panicked when a different class registration #fell through) since it always felt like they were more interested in getting done than having like. slightly decent work but whatever #but these people? these people asked me to write the conclusion for our presentation. i ask “yeah sure yeah. what did we conclude”#“eh. you can write whatever” ???????????????? HUH???? MATE THAT IS HALF OF THE WORK???????????????????#the shitty sensors and our shitty methods gave us shitty data and YOU PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN SUGGEST WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS????????? fuck me dud #i was already in a poor mood (normal mental illness plus i had found out my uncle died like three days before #like i had talked to him just last month. never had someone i know die before. sucks) but that shit pissed me off

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llycaons · 11 months ago

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random but I fear I must share: when I was a young creature I read a terrible yet memorable historical vampire novel by the name of blood ninja. the detail I must impart is that the mentor character had magical tattoos over every square inch of body that rendered him invisible to vampires at night. he would literally have to get naked to fight because otherwise his clothes would give him away. BUT to this day whenever I remember this character all I can think about. is. he had to have gotten. dick tattoos.

#just something I think about now and then! imagine you're fighting a guy. hand to hand combat. he gets completely naked. tattoos all over #including dick tattoos. one MUST ASSUME. now the humans can see him.#if you were a human person you could see everything #ONE MUST WONDER HOW HE AVOIDS INJURY WITH NO DEFENSES OF ANY KIND #one must imagine this was an extremely painful and time-consuming process considering it was the 16th century #fun fact the big villain (also the protag's biological father of course) was LORD ODA NOBUNAGA #who was to my knowledge not a vampire (I mean YET) but who knew of them #I've been sitting on that knowledge for over a decade. I needed to share it. DICK TATTOOS....#EDIT: WELL HE MAY HAVE BEEN TRANS. THERE IS NO CONFIRMATION HE WAS CIS #and if he got 16th century top surgery. well. nothing to worry about...flapping about 😭#cor.txt

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knightofgoetia · 3 months ago

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you guys realize that things (the DMC Netflix anime) don't necessarily need to be either (1) the equivalent to the Holy Grail or (2) like it killed your grandma. you guys realize 'mediocre' and 'generic' exist. right.

#i am unfortunately from the negative side of this all #i'm salty. i've written a lot of criticism. and i despise the attitude of the showrunner with my whole being #but also. i have a life. so i simply shared those thoughts with. like. two close people #and i have everything muted because: i'm tired boss #look. yes. some people have done ridiculous criticism. that's true #but most of the times... it bas been justified. i am sorry. but it has #we're back with the 'wacky woohoo pizza man' bullshit again. and with Vergil only being the damn storm that is apro #you get it.#i would prefer for this to be the absolute worst as some people claim it to be so i didn't get it to jumpscare me more #but unfortunately it's not. it's just mediocre #another generic action anime for me #and i don't even watch much stuff in general. i either read or play stuff #but i can't just sit and watch. so like. i just want april to pass. i'm tired bosssssss #probably because due to me not being the most-mentally-stable-person-out-there #— i cannot enjoy a ✨piece of media✨ like any normal human being would #it has to both (1) save my life and (2) ruin my life. no in between #hyperfixations. yeah. but this time for real #The Odyssey (yes the damn poem) has been stucked with me since i was 10 years old #that's a whole decade of something affecting my life and the way i am #and now. last year Devil May Cry was added as the second one #i always avoided the saga like the plague. the memes. the view of the series the fandom gave me... it just wasn't it #and perhaps it's thanks that a mutual convinced me to start with 1 and not with 5 that my mind had changed so quickly #so seeing a story and characters that have affected me in both the good and the bad at such a deep level #— getting changed almost completely for the sake of a bottleg universe #eh. i'll pass #then again. it's just not for me #i guess. not like i'll go tell my therapist about it #because it's not good. it's not bad. it's mediocre #and something generic at least will pass by. i hope #deleting later

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seaofreverie · 9 months ago

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First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago

#i wish doing something over and over actually made it easier from then on #how come i've done this so many times and i'm still as horrified by the prospect of group projects and exams and all as in the very start #can they invent a higher education that doesn't require you to prepare a group project for every damn subject that exists #can they also invent an intercating with people #in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like the only person on earth who somehow doesn't get it #how do people just start talking and becoming friends :( it's literally impossible for me #it's such a mystery. how the hell do they all do this. what's your fucking secret !!!!!!!!!#not that i expected to become friends with anyone in one day #but one day was already enough for me to start feeling as alienated and othered from everyone else as i've always felt #like god it's always the same damn thing. each year i hope it'll be different and it's still the fucking same #i try to appear nice and approachable and chime in to the conversation whenever i can (just like i've been doing for the past 4 years)#but i guess there must just be something deeply wrong with me that makes everyone avoid me in the end anyway #am i really that unfriendable. can anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong #and why no one is interested in holding a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in total #it's literally back to the same thing that i've done over and over before and i truly don't see any point in any of this anymore #it's just so ridiculous 😭😭😭 why do i even keep trying at this point #back to school so back to crying alone in my room every evening i guess #how beautiful how poetic. i almost forgot this was the daily standard for the entire past year #never getting out of this ok i get it :))#friendship was meant to be for everyone but me i get it now!!!#worst year ever everything bad is happening. going to my first funeral on thursday i'm definitely going to take that well hahaha #it's been only a day and i'm already so done. ok.#i'm freaking out man what am i even supposed to be doing anymore. it's all pointless

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hiddenbeks · 4 months ago

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oh also in other news. i finally finished leviathan the other day

#el plays kotor #feeling talkative right when the dash is messed up again. whatever. this is one way to put off playing skyrim #im so worried for bastila rn... please come back to me queen we gotta make up im sorry i called u as bad as the sith... i was upset...#her fate is one of the few things i've somehow managed to avoid spoilers for!!! so dont tell me what happens i gotta keep the suspense #also some of the companions' reactions to the reveal r so funny like...#mission basically said 'well if you don't remember being revan then it's ok :)' huh??????#i love how supportive she is but. millions died bc of liah. something to consider. you can be a little horrified and angry its ok #and like carth is the only one who's understandably angry at revan bc to him it's more personal #but even he sounds too chill. i think its partly bc of the voice acting. everyone speaks with the same even tone no matter the situation #and i almost laughed when canderous was like 'well actually it was malak who ordered the attack on ur homeworld carth #so revan is blameless in this' bro liah was literally the sith ceo you cant claim she had no part in this.....#and like idk it felt weird for canderous of all companions to comment on that #i feel like. he wouldnt care who is guilty of what. he just wants revan to lead him to epic battles he thinks warfare is awesome #i also feel like it was a feeble attempt from the game to make u feel less bad abt it #but thats not how it works game. because. revan was at the top of the chain of command. therefore. responsible for everything.#like!!! idk the writing in this game is so..... juvenile sometimes.......#yknow how some ppl talk abt the superior writing in old bioware games???? part of it has to be simple nostalgia #like they played the game when they were 10 and at that time it was the best thing ever #and they haven't revisited it at an older age with developed thinking skills #and im not saying the writing is dogshit! its just really goofy at certain parts! but really strong at others!! overall the game slaps!!!#but im just saying. u gotta see beyond just the nostalgia if ur gonna compare old and current bw #but idk ! anyway what else. the fight against malak was cool... with the red lighting in the corridor and everything...#he kept running away too... perhaps deep down he still fears his old master 😌#no but like if he hadn't been scripted to survive that fight i would've won. i was beating his ass #tho maybe it was just meant to be easy so that i would feel overconfident going into the final battle. who knows

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agenderhyde · 1 year ago

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dinner party & the itv series is its own mini-au that only lives in my head (and maybe a couple of notes)

#cloudy rambles #jekyll and hyde #the dinner party thing #itv jekyll and hyde #after everything. after defeating lord trash and trying to move on with their lives.#it comes out that henry ISN'T dead. nor is gabriel.#they're vampires and have been actively avoiding England #max is ALSO a vampire #i've made the itv characters in both sims 3 & sims 4 #though haven't played with them in the latter

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