#I've been told I'm really really good at writing panic attacks

[from-now-on-im-switzerland]

Oh mah God, your jasper fanfics are so stinking cute! A continuation of the baseball one would be perfect!

Like maybe after hanging out with her the feelings get stronger and he decides to distance himself in worry, and the reader, albeit confused, respects him and is a little heartbroken. Maybe at one point he worries about her for a moment when Emmett tells her she didn't look well (she's sleep deprived from stressing about him but trying to keep it to herself) so he pulls a creepy (can't find a better word) Edward and shows up outside her room and senses her heartbroken ness and feels like he has it too but brushes it off thinking it's just hers instead of his own. She starts getting closer to the wolfs and he tries acting like it doesn't bother him and pretends he could care less when she starts sitting with them in the cafeteria after he shows back up at school. And it's not until Alice has a vision of her getting discovered by volturi and "ended" that he starts keeping an eye on her again, and when a guard of the volturi blends in at the school and he notices does things begin and yeah....or something like that lol take the idea into your jar of boredom writing or something 😂

I feel like you'd write this perfectly! And spot on with the jasper and his accent..

Uhm...YES!? You're so creative this is such a good idea. I should be doing my college coursework right now, but this is all I'll think about so I'm doing it right now!! Also forgive the gammer 🥲😫

Okay, it won't be a DIRECT continuation of the Baseball one-shot bc it's already part of of a different fic I'm writing. I'm just gonna take out Y/n's friends but the baseball game still happened okay?

(sorry 🙏) (I don't know if that made sense.)

>I just like the cold.

>Jasperxf¡reader

>As I said, not a direct continuation but instead the start of a new series? (lmk)

>could be a tad longer that what I'd usually write 🥲

>TW, Panic Attack

°Jasper's POV°

When I saw her eyes for the first time, in that cramped hallway, I melted inside. My icey veins (filled with the venom that could end her life in an instant) were fueled with warmth as they must've once been long before. And that all too familiar burning sensation at the back of my throat hasn't left me alone since I caught her scent for the first time.

I thought it was just me being hungry. I hadn't eaten that day and it could've been that she just had tasty smelling blood. But knowing my luck, that obviously wasn't it. I can't put my family through this again, I just can't. I've tried to maintain a friendship with her for the fair few weeks she's been here but it's getting harder and harder.

I can't believe I was once angry or annoyed with Edward for falling for a human. I guess karma's a bitch huh? Y/n has no clue about my feelings, I hope. Why would I tell her? So I think it's best, for her safety if I just stop being friends with her. It'll keep her so much safer I know it will.

"I thought that too" Edward said, appearing in the corner of my room.

I didn't jump, I heard him race up the stairs.

"What?" I asked, annoyed I was interrupted by Mr Thought Police himself.

"About Bella. Remember when we left for half a year? And I left her? I thought it'd make her happy. Safe. But it took us both almost dying for me to realise we were safer together.." Edward said, reminding me of the very thing I wanted to try and avoid.

"But that's you, Eddie. You and Bella, by then she already loved you, by then she knew the risk and by then it was too late for stupid mistakes. I'm in a grey area right now, where she doesn't know a damn thing and I just want to keep her safe." I said, sighing as I heard Emmett approach my room aswell.

"Bro, she really likes us.." Emmett said, racing over to the other corner of my room. "I mean for some reason you specifically, but she's told me! We're actually like best friends now so if you want me to be the middle man..just let me know." He said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I've seen you together before, walking around the school. You've been especially close ever since you almost abliterated her head with a baseball...but oh well."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Jasper?" Emmett teased. Edward laughed as he joined our brother over at his side of my room.

"No Emmett you don't, because I have no right to be jealous in the first place, she's not mine to be jealous over." I said, not meeting thier eyes.

"But you want her to be." Edward said.

This drew my attention as I looked up and saw his face. Care and amusement radiating off of him.

"I'm glad you find my dilemma so amusing, none of us ever laughed at you, you moody asshole" I said, throwing a pillow full force in his direction.

He caught it. "It's just funny to see how much of a little boy you're being about something that is so crystal clear" he said, tossing back the pillow.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked, fed up now.

"She's your singer. Just like Bella was mine. I've heard your thoughts, they're too loud to ignore. That feeling? that burning? It's nothing you've felt around anyone else is it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but I don't want to have to go through the same old debate of “do we turn her or not” and that's even if she feels the same way.." I said.

"Dude, you're literally an empath. You can find out yourself" Emmett said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I hate using my gift on her as it is. The thought of manipulating her in any way makes my skin crawl, alright? If it's to help her then I can deal with it but I won't just use it to be nosy, that's not fair" I said. "you can still be friends with her if you want Emmett but I can't do it. I won't let myself drag her into this life. I know you wanted the same thing for Bella, Edward but maybe I can make it happen for Y/n. If anyone deserves a blessed life, it's her." I said, walking out my room, speeding out the house and into the forest to clear my head.

I just need to keep away from her. I'll keep her safe that way.

°Reader's POV°

This week had been..strange. Emmett had been even more friendly then he usually was; it was perhaps due to the fact that he could've killed me the other week with that baseball, but y'know, life goes on. And at no point had I even had a chance to speak to Jasper. Even in class, he'd moved seats. Of course, that was his last resort after they wouldn't let him change his lesson plan.

It ached my heart a little because, I really liked him and for some reason it's like a flip had been switched in his brain and he no longer wanted anything to do with me. It was Friday, and I was determined to atleast get a conversation with him.

While Emmett was babbling on about something to do with gorillas, I interrupted him. "Emmett when did you..uh...see Jasper last?" I asked.

"last I saw he was with Rose and Bella in the cafeteria.." I saw a small glint in his eye as he answered. "But..i don't think he wants to talk to you.." he said just as I began to walk off.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I say something? Is he..is he mad at me for something? Why won't he speak to me?" I rattled off a few of the questions I'd kept to myself all week.

"Woah, calm down. It's..." he hesitated. "it's not my place to say but I think he might just be trying to avoid talking to you because he knows if he does, he won't be able to not talk to you. " he said, in a really confusing tone.

"You've complicated this way too much than you needed to. Is he still there now?" I asked reffering to where he said he saw him.

"Pretty sure, yeah."

I took off without a thank you, which I felt bad about, but I was too focused on getting that conversation with Jasper.

I was almost running to the cafeteria, as I knew the bell was going to ring at any moment. I made it in the cafeteria and spotted him immediately, and he saw me too. His eyes met mine for less than half a second, before he looked to the floor.

He left his conversation with his sisters and went to walk out the opposite way that I was coming in. I ran this time, and caught up to him.

"Hey! What's going on? Have I done something?" I asked, needing answers.

He audibly sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in. "No, you haven't. You haven't done a thing, I promise." He said, and began to walk away again. I moved infront of him to stop him from walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, I wasn't finished. If I haven't done anything then what's the issue? Why can't you talk to me I want to be here for you." I tried to take a hold of his hands but he wouldn't let me touch him. And he didn't meet my eyes, he refused to even look at my face.

"Because...Y/n" I heard his voice shaking. "I just can't be around you, it's not your fault, you're not the reason why I just-" he paused, and bit his inner lip. "I just can't okay?" he said, pushing past me. He sped off down the hall not looking back, leaving me behind.

The bell rang through the halls, louder than I'd ever heard it before. It started to hurt my ears but my eyes couldn't pull away from his figure.

Tears swirled in my eyes as I watched him walk off, and my breath quickened. Then, what I feared, that feeling tightened up in my chest. No. Not a panic attack. I can't, not at school. I took one last look at Jasper walking off before racing back out of the cafeteria and into the school parking lot.

The cold air hit me like a kind wave, and the small droplets of rain coated my face as I looked up at the sky, desperaty wanting it to swallow me whole. It was a small sense of relief before the feeling washed back in like the tide. I ditched my backpack and jacket, throwing them on the floor, needing the coldness on my skin. I tried to slow my breathing down but it wasn't working. I made my way down the steps, now in a short sleeve t-shirt, tripping slightly on the last step as I made my way across the lot. My breathing wasn't slowing and I couldn't stop it, I guess I'd just have to ride it out.

"..Y/n?" I heard from the trees.

I span around, my breath not halting and my panic increasing. As my heart rate was about to rocket even more, Seth Clearwater stumbled out from the trees. I had met him a few times, he and his friends all the way down at the Reservation were good friends with the Cullens.

"Seth?" I aksed, I didn't want to start hallucinating people. That would be a whole new area for me that I wouldn't be able to keep up with.

He made his way over to me. "Yeah, it's me. It's Seth. What's going on? Hey...hey" he was inches away from me now. I tied to move away but he stepped closer in fear I was going to somehow hurt myself. My tears wouldn't stop and my head was looking very which way "Y/n. Look at me."

His order sent a small shockwave into me for a second and I snapped my eyes up, his face blurred due to the tears streaming from my eyes. He took his thumbs and wiped under my eyes, but new tears replaced the stains he wiped away.

"Breathe with me okay?" he asked.

I wanted to try, there's nothing I hate more than this shit. But sometimes you can't help but just ride out the attack until it's done. I nodded my head vigorously and he began to breathe, waiting for me to follow suit.

"Okay in..." he took a breath in and let it out softly. "..and out.."

I tried my best to follow suit but my throat needed as much air as it could get. And it kept speeding up the pattern.

"No Y/n with me, c'mon you got this.." he said, holding my hands.

"In.." he breathed in once again and I followed suit. "and out" he breathed out again.

Slowly but surely my breathing returned to a somewhat normal pace but my shaking didn't stop.

"there you go.." he continued the pattern as he slowly walked me over to a stone wall, and sat me down.

"You're freezing, Y/n." he said, touching my cheek after wiping yet another tear..

"I'll be fine..I like the cold when these things happen.." I laughed slightly, to ease the awkwardness, if there was any.

"I know, it helps a lot doesn't it?" he said, sitting down next to me.

"wait, you've-"

"yep" he cut me off, with a sheepish smile. "I get it. You're inside somewhere when that ugly feeling hits. You beeline it for the nearest exist and the air just gives you something else to feel. It doesn't stop it, but it definitely helps. The cold, it..it helps you feel something different other than that thing in your chest.." he said, describing what it was like for him.

I nodded along as he said so. "yeah..that's...exactly it." I smiled.

He looked up from staring at his feet and smiled back at me, before frowning. "Y/n your lips are slowly going blue, I know how much the cold helps but I won't let you catch hypothermia.." Seth said, pulling me into his chest and offering me a hug.

He was so so warm. It wasn't a stuffy warm either, the kind of warm where you feel sticky. It was that cozy warmth. That homely warmth on a winter morning.

I shivered in his arms at the contact. "Oh..jeez your pretty hot. Are you ill or something?" I asked.

He chuckled slightly. "No Y/n, I'm just a warm person.." he admitted.

"C'mon, let's get you back inside.." he said, rising us up to our feet.

"No!" I wriggled out of his grip, my heart fluttering again, in slight panic. I feel if I see him again today, I'll get worse.

He took hold of me again gently. "Okay..I'll take you home yeah? We just gotta grab your stuff that you graciously dumped on the stairs.." he said, smiling.

I laughed slightly as we walked slowly over to the steps. He jogged up them and picked up my stuff. He placed my jacket over my shoulders and carried my bag over to my car.

He walked confidently over to the drivers seat.

"I swear you're like..16 can you even drive?" I asked, a smile paying on my lips.

"I'm 17 now actually. And it's fine don't worry, hop in" he said, unlocking the car with my keys he must've taken from my pocket.

We got in the car and threw our seat belts on.

"Thanks for this Seth. Aren't you missing a lesson right now though?" I asked, I didn't want to ruin his education.

"Oh nah, me and the boys are on a part time timetable for this school and the one down by the Rez, so don't worry about it...anyways.....where's the handbreak?"

My eyes shot in his direction only to see him holding in a laugh.

"Uh. What do you mean where's the handbreak?" I asked.

He finally giggled. "Don't worry, I'm just joking. We'll be fine. I've never been to your house though, so you can be my sat nav" he smiled turning on the car, and pulling out of the car park.

°Jasper's POV°

I walked away from her. Every fibre of my being telling me to look back. I fought against it, but gave in. I looked back and saw a glimpse of her as she rushed out of the cafeteria.

What am I doing?

I felt the dread and panic leaking from her as I started to walk away. And I just left her. I left her feeling that way. I know I'm doing this to keep her safe but I can't pretend that I'm perfect, leaving her in fear.

Special thanks to my power, I'm extremely sensitive to even my own emotions and with years of practice I've managed to get a good control of it, but Y/n..I feel her emotions so much more than anyone else's.

My still heart is telling me not to go near her, to keep her safe...but her scent, as much as it tempts me, it deals me a great source of comfort..I can't explain it. I'm near her and I feel safe. I'm a monster and have nothing to fear really, but in her presence it's like we're the only two on earth.

Which is why I must do this. I can't that let angel be manipulated by the devil deep inside me. I won't allow it.

I let out the breath I was holding in during that encounter, again not that I needed to, but I think people would notice if I wasn't breathing. I made my way to the science block and yippee! I was next to Sire Brain Detective and his wife.

I was waiting outside the classroom to catch Bella before Edward got there. I caught her scent in the hallway and rushed to her side.

"Hey Bella, can you just maybe kinda block my thoughts from Edward please?" I asked, a sheepish smile following close behind.

"Why?" She asked, squinting her eyes a little.

"Well you've never had the problem, but Edward is very nosy. And I'd just like my thoughts kept to myself for today." I said.

We kept on walking into the classroom and to our seats.

"So it's nothing to do with Y/n then?" she quizzed.

Even hearing her name makes me feel sick.

"No. Bella..just please can you do it?" I was begging her at this point as I smelled Edward down the corridor.

She looked up as she caught his scent too. "Okay, but you owe me" she said.

"Thanks Bella." I said.

Edward walked in the class and met my eyes immediately, a hint of confusion crossed his face before he sat down next to his wife and realised. "Oh c'mon how is that fair?" he said.

"How is what fair?" Me and Bella said at the same time. We looked at eachother breifely before opening out books as instructed to.

°Reader's POV°

Awkward, sweaty and sleepless. That's all I feel right now. I close my eyes and he's there. I open my eyes an he's all I can imagine. Everything I tried, I couldn't get him off my mind. I even tried counting sheep, but the sheep soon morphed themselves into horses, then I soon saw him riding a horse, actually imagining him as a Cowboy. I snapped my eyes open and drank some water I left by the side of my bed, before making a last attempt to get some sleep.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning in the same directions over and over again, I got up and opened my window. Again, the cold air washed over me and it was almost instant relief. Just like Seth said, it gives you something else to feel.

I watched the trees as they swayed in the wind, thier green leaves brushing against eachother at each breeze. Out of all the places my Mum had placed me while she did her book tour, Washington was probably my favourite so far, well specifically Forks. Since the beginning of the year, (when my Mum's book tour started) I'd been placed in a random city in the state she needed to visit, and Forks was this really nice and small town. Where everyone knew everyone. Of course, the thought of litteraly everyone talking about me as the new arrival didn't appeal to me at all, but when I had moments to myself, it was impossible for me not to gawk at the nature around me. The grey skies, while annoying to some, gave me a nice comforting feeling. The rain, which everyone hated, was my favourite weather. I don't know what it was.. I guess I just like the cold.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone buzzed under my pillow. It was my mum calling, I answered of course, but I wandered why she was calling at 4am.

"Mum? what's up?" I asked, trying to hide my tired voice.

"Oh my god Y/n I'm so sorry.. I forgot about the time zones...go back to sleep, I'll ring you at a better time.." she said.

"wait what do you mean the time zones? you're in Washington too?" I questioned, wandering what she meant.

"No..honey, that's why I called. I got to my hotel and they said they had my reservation booked for next year, so they flew me out to the state I was supposed to be in." She said, sounding ashamed. "I tried to mention you, and say how I could catch my own flight..but.. they-they wouldn't listen to me..."

"Mum... Mum it's okay, don't worry about it I'll be fine okay? Just make me proud." I said.

"but I only gave you enough money to last a couple months not over a year..nearly two! And you're in your last year of school, what will you do all day? How-"

"Mum" I cut her off "I'll get a job, it'll be fine. You've been doing book tours since I was like 15, I know how to live on my own." I said.

"but that was when you were 5 minutes down the road...or a bus drive away..now I'm on the other side of the country!" She panicked.

"wait, the other side of the country? where did they fly you to?" I asked. The phone went silent for a few seconds before she answered.

"I'm in Georgia, honey.." She said. "I called you as soon as I had time, I'm sorry I've left you there, I can book a flight and cancel the tour-"

"-No, Mum don't. I'm not gonna pretend hearing you were in Georgia didn't scare me a little bit, but I'm perfectly fine here in Forks. I like it here.." I said honestly.

"but honey-"

"No 'buts'." I said. "Mum some kids leave the nest at early ages, some never leave..maybe it's my time to make a life for myself.." I said, with tears threatening to spill.

"I-in Washington, are you sure?" Mum's voice was shaking by now.

"Mum, I'm old enough. I know it's scary, it'll be difficult too but.. sometimes life just throws you in a new direction and you can't help but see where it takes you.." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one full of wisdom little lady" she joked. "well...I guess it isn't the craziest idea you've had." she said, sadly.

"so yeah?" I asked.

She took a deep breath "Yes Y/n, yes. Start your life.." she said.

"Okay.." I said.

It wasn't long before I was off the phone and trying to sleep again. I prayed when I rested my head on the pillow, he wouldn't plug my mind, but much to my dismay he returned and my heart ached.

I closed my eyes and managed to drift off to sleep just before my alarm rang for me to start getting ready for school. The ringing of the bell threw me back to that moment. That moment he left. Just like that.

°Emmett's POV°

Since the day Jasper told Y/n that he couldn't be near her anymore, she hasn't been in. And I'm worried about how she's taken it.

I didn't tell Jasper I was gonna go pick Y/n up today as I didn't want him to go all emo and be like “ugh you're gonna smell like her all day!” so I instead took my absolutely, positively, non-judgemental wife.

"So why are we on our way to a humans house right now?" Rose asked me from the passenger's seat of my jeep. "what purpose is she serving us other than pleasing our noses?"

"Babe, she's my friend..and I'm worried about how she is. She didn't come in at all last week since Jasper didn't want anything to do with her, and I'm not gonna let my idiot of a brother be the reason she fails school.." I said, keeping my eyes on the road.

Rose went silent and looked out the window. "Just let me know when we're there.." she said, closing her eyes.

"That would be now.." I said, pulling up outside her house.

I got out the jeep while Rose stayed in, and made my way to the front door. I hesitated before knocking and waited for an answer. A good minute went by, so I knocked again and as I did, the door flew open.

"I told you three times already, Mrs Henderson doesn't live here anym-" she cut herself off when she saw my amused face.

She rubbed her eyes. "Emmett?"

"The one and only!" I replied.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was drained, and she looked a lot less bubbly than before. Her eyes drooped slightly and dark circles hung below them from lack of sleep.

"To get you to school, missy!" I said, not wanting to comment about the elephant in the room.

"But Emmett, Jasper said-"

"Fuck what Jasper said, it's your life and it's your school too. What..just because he's being a little bitch right now that means you can't get educated? I don't see how that's fair.." I said, crossing my arms.

She rolled her half-lidded eyes. "Okay, let me get changed.." she said, turning back into her house and shutting the door.

I celebrated my victory behind the wood of the closed door and waited for her to open it again. I sat on the step and prepared to wait, when the door swung open again. She stepped out with all her stuff. "C'mon then, let's go." she said, plastering on a fake smile.

"I thought you were atleast gonna cook some breakfast? It's like half seven in the morning..." I said, standing up and leading her to the jeep.

"Nah...not hungry." she said, climbing in.

I got in too, and put the radio back on.

"Hey Rosalie" Y/n said, tiredly a sheepish smile across her face.

My head quickly turned to my wife and I begged her with my eyes to be nice. But she didn't even look at me and instead looked for Y/n in the wing mirror.

"Jasper's an idiot, but he cares about you and he's doing this for your own good, I'd take it as a win." she said, before closing her eyes again and turning up the radio.

I started the jeep up again after a small awkward silence with nothing but the music blaring and began to drive to the school.

"yeah but does he know how much it's actually hurting?" Y/n whispered, any normal person wouldn't have heard it but of course me being a beautiful, immortal, gifted being...I did.

Passing through the familiar streets of Forks, it didn't take me long to get to the school, I parked the jeep and Rose got out. I turned around in my seat to face Y/n. Her sleep-deprived look catching me off guard once again.

"You ready girl?" I asked, grinning.

She sighed. "Not really, Emmett" she replied sadly, staring at a particular stone wall in the car park.

"Well c'mon, you got this. Let's go" I said, getting out.

It wasn't long before she climbed out herself. As she shut the door.

"Thanks for dragging me in Emmett, but I'm gonna go incase he appears from around the corner or something.." she said, with low energy as she dragged her feet toward the doors of the school.

°Reader's POV°

I couldn't thank Emmett more, I wouldn't have been able to get here on my own accord. It's just a shame I didn't have the energy to express my gratitude to him as much as I wanted to.

It was about 10 minutes until my first lesson so I walked to the cafeteria to get a drink. As I opened the doors, I saw Seth and some of his friends from the Rez sat at a table and so I wasted no time in going over there.

"What are you lot doing here?" I asked.

"Part time, time-table in each school! How do you keep forgetting that?" one of them said.

"Uhm..Seth?" I looked to him for help, I could barely remember any of the other's names.

"Alright, sit down." he pulled a chair from the table behind him and turned it next to him, facing their table. "Here we have Quil, Leah my sister, and Embry." he said.

I had only met the rest of them once but Seth I had seen a number of times, and he's who I was closest to...now for a very obvious reason.

"So what's your first lesson?" Quil asked.

"Science.." I said quietly, biting the inside of my cheek afterward to simmer down the anxiety I felt creeping in.

I started boucing my leg too, which Seth took notice to. He offered me a smile, which I returned, weak as ever.

The bell rang, louder than before, and I covered my ears, burying my head down against my chest. Each time I hear that bastard bell it gets louder and louder, and the memory of that last conversation with him gets clearer and clearer in my mind.

°Jasper's POV°

"I'm telling you man..she's-"

Emmett would not stop. I told him I didn't want to hear it, but he was following me all over our house, not leaving me alone.

"her eyes don't look the same, she doesn't have nearly as much energy as she used to, I haven't seen her smile, and if I'm being honest I don't think she's eating properly.." Emmett said.

Hearing his words made my non-beating heart ache.

"I've been picking her up all week and she never eats breakfast, and when was the last time I saw her eating in the cafeteria? Uhh let me think, I haven't!" he said, in my face.

I was looking at the floor, guilt riddling my body. She's like this because of me.

"I get it. Emmett. Okay?" I spat, my voice quavering.

He moved back slowly, almost realising that this was hurting me too, and left my room.

After staring out the window for another moment or two, I sped off out the house before anyone could question it. I ducked and dived between branches, breaking them if they were too big for me to dodge. I raced through the woods rembering the route to her house when I met her before school, when we first started to talk to each other. I ran to her. Wondering what I was going to do when I got there, would I beg her to forgive me? Would I stop this madness and just tell her everything? At this point, I couldn't see anything but her angelic face, and hear her sweet voice and before I knew it, I came to a swift stop by the trees of her house.

I approached it slowly, still deciding what to do, until I lingered by the side of the house where her bedroom was. I climbed up a tree that rested just by it and waited to see her or atleast hear her.

"fuck sake..just go away!" I heard her complain as she slammed the door to her bedroom. "You don't want anything to do with me so why won't you get out of my head!" She panicked, her voice wailing as she spoke.

"It's not fair.." she said after a minute of silence. She got up. "It's not fair." she repeated. She tossed her chair on the floor. "It's not fair!" she threw a picture frame against the wall. She repeated those three words, growing more aggressive each time and trashing a new part of her room until she ran out of energy.

She breathed heavily and sunk against the wall, sobbing. She cried, and it was like a thousand hot knives were cutting me all over. She cried and I had to fight as hard as I could not to rush in there.

She cried and I felt heartbreak. My breath quickened too, as her emotions laced with my own. Sat in the tree in that moment I didn't know which emotions were mine and which were hers.

She cried and cried until she fell asleep, and that's when some of her emotions filtered away from my body. Though she fell asleep and tears were still staining her cheeks, the aching in my heart wouldn't leave or subside. It stayed.

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart Chapter 22

18+ MDNI on Ao3 All chapters

I'm still writing chapters for my other works, I've just been in a yandere-y mood lately.

Thatch POV

Being so cruel to you had nearly broken Thatch’s heart. It had taken everything in him not to console you after you started crying in the mess hall. He felt even worse for force feeding you, he could tell you weren’t going to eat the moment you’d walked into the mess hall. But you needed to be reminded of who made the rules and who followed them. He’d only given you what you asked for and you couldn’t handle it. True, he knew you meant that you wanted to sit on your own chair, but he wasn’t going to let that happen. Not when it was one of the brightest parts of his day, something he got to look forward to multiple times a day. You were steadily gaining a bit of weight with him, which had brought a glow of health to your visage. He couldn’t have you undoing all his progress. 

It just so happened that the bi-monthly Commanders’ meeting was this afternoon. He’d let Marco know that they needed an extra few minutes between them afterwards as well. Ace was still sailing back to the Moby so they would appraise him of the situation later. Ace was a good third to have, he just needed a little guidance from his brothers. He was so much younger than them, after all. Ace had been with them sexually for a while now, but he really was more of a switch rather than a true submissive. Having you with the three of them rounded out the relationship, helping them all to feel more fulfilled. Marco and Thatch were trying to show him by example how to handle you, with correction and punishment needed only occasionally. He’d met you first, so by rights you were his, but it was always better when good fortune was shared among siblings.  

Thatch settled in for the long meeting, looking over the agenda. He needed to pay attention, but the only thing he could think about were the tears that had run down your face and your shoulders slumped in submission. He wanted to find you and discipline you now, he didn’t like to delay the punishments and build anticipation like Marco did. He wanted to punish and soothe you, bringing you back to him with love. Unluckily for you, their attendance at the meeting was mandatory so you’d have to wait until it was over. Thatch sighed and tried to concentrate on Blenheim, who was running the meeting, without much success. It would be a long few hours.

~~~

Once the neverending meeting was finally over, Marco plopped himself down next to Thatch in the meeting room. All the other Commanders were filling out, but they had a lot to discuss. Thatch wanted to fill Marco in about breakfast and recap the situation from your panic attack. 

“Has Pops asked you about grandkids yoi?” Marco began, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Yeah, so embarrassing. He asked me yesterday.” In that way, Oyaji really was more like their father than their captain.  

“He’s not going to stop, he’s gotten it into his head that he needs a grandchild before he dies,” Marco complained.

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” Thatch said slowly, “but I don’t think now’s a good time. She’s not quite stable yet. And she’s still underweight.” 

“True. We need to wait until she regains her regular menstrual cycle and puts on more weight. I also want to see her sleep improve more. Then we can see about some fertility drugs. Might speed up the process and get Pops off our backs,” Marco mused. 

“Well, about her weight, there was an incident this morning I wanted to talk to you about…” Thatch told a very interested Marco about your small attempt at independence this morning. The more he described your disobedience, the more Marco smiled. 

Y/N POV

Every instinct inside you told you to run and hide so no one could find you. But you knew that was a bad idea and would only make Marco and Thatch angrier than they already were. Thatch for the breakfast incident, and Marco for the infirmary incident. You were honestly scared to meet up with either one of them, but you knew it was going to happen one way or another. You ended up holed up in one of the crow’s nests, putting some finishing touches on the nurse uniform redesign you’d been working on. It was slow going because every time your mind drifted from the designs you thought about the punishment that was looming over your head. You had barely gotten any work done when Deuce came up the crow’s nest ladder.

“Ah, hello. Time for lunch,” Deuce said awkwardly, fiddling with his jacket cuff.

“What - Why are you here?” You hoped you weren’t being rude, you were just puzzled why Deuce of all people was bringing you to lunch.

“Marco told me to come get you to eat. The Commanders are all in a meeting and you need dietary supervision,” he said shrugging. You paled thinking about the meeting Thatch had mentioned.

“Ok, I’ll come down,” you said, grabbing your things. You had been nervous for lunch with Thatch but had also been hoping to talk to him or try to get him into a better mood. You didn’t think you could avoid punishment altogether but you thought you might be able to mitigate it if you showed him how much you appreciated him. You came down the ladder and followed Deuce to the private dining room. He’d already brought the food in and took a seat opposite you at a plate of his own.

“Sorry you have to do this,” you said apologetically. You felt bad that Deuce had to work more to cover up for your mistakes.

“I don’t mind. At least it’s quiet in here, which is a nice change of pace.” Deuce began eating and you tried to as well. You picked at your food, attempting to eat some of it. Your stomach was in knots and you didn’t think you could keep much down. You moved the food around your plate, waiting for Deuce to finish eating so you could leave. Once he’d eaten his fill, he brought out a small notebook and pen. He glanced over at your plate and made a few notes.

“You’re not going to regain any weight if you don’t eat more,” Deuce reminded you. He finished writing and put the notebook and pen away.

“Are you reporting this back to Thatch?” you asked worriedly.

“Yes. And Marco,” Deuce supplied neutrally, gathering the dirty plates. He didn’t know the implications of what he had just told you, but you felt like there was a weight bearing down on your neck. Now they’d know you hadn’t eaten lunch either, just proving Thatch right yet again. You laid your head in your hands. You didn’t know what to do to alleviate the tension radiating from within you. You felt a hand clap onto your shoulder, and looked up to see Deuce giving you a supportive smile.

“I know they can seem scary, but they’re actually quite kind once you get to know them. I’m sure they’ll go easy on you.” Deuce left, taking the plates with him. Oh, how wrong he was.

~~~ 

After lunch you were a bundle of nerves and you couldn’t focus. You spent hours of your time pacing the deck, trying to calm down. You were picking at your skin, your fingers, and biting your lips. You tried to stop but as soon as you weren’t actively thinking about it to prevent yourself, you started again. You knew Marco and Thatch would be upset you’d been picking at your skin. You wanted to ask for help but Marco and Thatch were busy and mad and you were worried and stressed and your stomach hurt and and and

And you felt someone hug you from behind, putting their chin on the top of your head. You detected the smell of a match after it had been extinguished. You leaned your head back and saw shaggy black hair and a smattering of freckles smiling at you from behind.

“Ace!” you exclaimed. You were truly happy to see him. You spun to face him and hugged him tight. 

“When did you get back?” you asked into his chest, not releasing him from your hug. 

“A couple of hours ago, I had a few things to do before I saw ya.” You squeezed him tighter.

“Whoa there tiger, what’s going on?” Ace pried you off of him, looking you over. You wilted under his gaze.

“What’s got you so shook up?” Ace asked with concern, pulling you to the side of the deck. He stood opposite you but kept his arms around your waist.

“I messed up and Thatch and Marco are mad at me and are going to punish me and I’m -I’m scared.” You said it all in a rush while looking out at the water, eyes filling with tears but trying not to cry. You had been anxious all afternoon and it was coming to a head. Ace sat down cross legged on the deck, pulling you into his lap with him. 

“You broke the rules?” Ace asked you softly. You nodded and Ace rubbed your arms.

“You don’t have to be afraid, it will be OK. We’re never going to hurt you. Once the punishment is over, it’s all in the past. It’s a way to show we care about you. I’ve been in trouble lots of times and I’ve always been fine. Besides, isn’t it a little fun to be punished?” Ace remarked with a twinkle in his eye. Thinking about the last time you saw Ace getting punished sent shivers down your spine. You didn’t think you could handle anything close to what he had and you definitely didn’t think it was fun. You’d been loved by other people in your past and had never experienced anything like this situation before. You didn’t think love needed punishments, but maybe relationships with pirates were different. 

“I’m sorry this is your welcome home, Ace. Sorry I couldn’t be good.” You hung your head. He didn’t reply to your comment, but his expression faltered.

“Come with me, they sent me to get you.” Ace stood up, giving you his hand. You took it and he hauled you to your feet. You hoped he wasn’t mad at you too.

“Nothing really bad will ever happen to you here,” Ace replied. “We love you and are going to keep you safe, no matter what. You’ll see.” You appreciated the sentiment but the closer you got to the stairs the more the sense of foreboding grew within you. Ace led you by the hand to the Commander’s meeting room and herded you to the door. 

“I’m not staying. I have a lot to catch up on, but I’ll see you later.” Ace kissed the top of your head and pushed you into the room gently, shutting the door behind you. Thatch and Marco were already seated, stern expressions on their faces. You didn’t see another seat available, there was just a cushion on the floor, so you stood. It reminded you of the first meeting you’d all had together where you’d gotten your first set of rules. You fidgeted in place waiting for someone to start talking, squirming more the longer the silence dragged on.  

“Sit yoi,” Marco said firmly. You spotted another chair from the edge of the room and started to walk towards it.

“No, on the floor.” On the cushion? Like a dog? You swallowed your pride and sat on your heels like Marco told you while your face heated. You felt too embarrassed to speak or look up from your seated position. You felt like you were on trial, or at the center of an interrogation.

“We have a number of things to discuss, yoi. Let’s begin with what happened the other day on the Moby Jr.” Marco didn’t sound upset or angry, just serious. 

“I’m sorry, Marco. I didn’t mean for it to happen.” You preemptively began with your apology, knowing it was going to have to come anyway.

“Why are you sorry?” Marco inquired in a neutral tone. You looked up at him with a slightly furrowed brow. He had read the report right? Maybe he just wanted you to explain it point by point so you knew how badly you messed up. You played with the hem of the pillow by your feet, pulling at a loose thread.

“Because I freaked out and um, hurt myself, and um, it happened a second time, and I um, couldn’t work the next day. I didn’t mean to make you angry.” You hoped he didn’t want more details on the freaking out, it was kind of difficult for you to remember a lot of what happened. You were pinching your fingers with your nails from nervousness. Marco exchanged a look with Thatch. 

“Why would I be angry at you for that yoi?” 

“Um, because I was bad? And, um, b-broke the rules?” You looked down at the floor, ashamed of yourself. 

“Look at me,” Marco said softly. You brought your eyes up to meet his. “None of what happened on the Moby Jr. or afterwards was your fault. You weren’t bad yoi. We just need to talk about it.” You felt lost - you really wished you were sitting in Marco’s lap and getting some physical reassurance from him but it didn’t feel like the time to ask. 

“Obviously, you were unable to control your reaction to whatever was happening yoi,” Marco said frowning. “Has anything like that ever happened before?” You nodded, it had happened a few times since you’d been off the Marine ship but you’d hidden it from the Brothers. It was easier then, you did your own thing with no supervision.

“It’s just something else you need help with. And of course we’re going to help you yoi. You know there’s no one else in the world who cares about you like we do.” You nodded, meeting Marco’s intense gaze. You knew they cared about you and had brought you to the ship when you didn’t have any other options. 

“I know. Thank you, Marco.” You felt a little better that Marco wasn’t upset at you for the infirmary incident.

“Which is why your behavior this morning was so disappointing,” Thatch stated bitterly. You immediately deflated and curled into yourself, bringing your knees to your chest. You had been feeling better momentarily but now you felt like the air had left the room. 

“You’re lucky we love you so much, Querida . We’ve thrown people off the ship for less.” Marco threw Thatch an unamused look.

“I’m wondering if you misunderstood our discussion last night yoi. We talked about how you need to learn to ask for help. Not about getting what you think you want.” Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes but you didn’t allow them to fall. 

“It’s surprising to me that you could be so disrespectful to Thatch after he helped you and took such good care of you when you were incapable.” Marco said with a contempt. You felt small and in the spotlight, like a bug pinned down on a card.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, tears now tracking down your cheeks.

“So you say,” Marco remarked dismissively, “but you’re going to need to show it yoi.”

“H-how?” Your hands shook thinking about whatever they’d come up with for your punishment. Your heart was racing with the anticipation.

“You’re going to have to show that you actually want us to help you yoi. We’re not making you do anything - this was your idea to show that we can trust you, that you can remain with us on the ship, remember? If you don’t want our help, that’s fine yoi. You're always free to leave.”

“N-no, Marco, please, please I - I still want your help,” you sputtered out. You remembered the initial discussion with Marco the night he caught you in the closet but the details were a little fuzzy. Had it been your idea?

“Good. I’m glad you agree. Come here,” Marco said, motioning you over to him. You got up on wobbly legs and slowly moved to stand in front of his chair. 

“Over my lap,” he said, guiding you. You laid down across Marco’s muscled thighs, your ass hiked in the air. Your torso was laying across the armrest of the chair, keeping you mostly level. Marco wound his arm around your waist, keeping you pinned in place. Marco lowered your pants and panties until you were completely bared. His large hand started caressing and rubbing your ass cheeks. 

“If you want our help, you have to allow us to help you. You need to let us take over. That makes sense, right, yoi?” Marco said while massaging you. 

“Yes, Marco.” Marco stopped massaging for a moment to reach for something out of your line of sight. He was doing something but you couldn’t make out what.

“Do you know what happens to bad little doves?” Marco asked calmly, still manipulating something you couldn’t see.

“N-no, Marco.” 

“They get fucked in the ass.” You tried to jolt up but his arm kept you in place. You felt something cold being put onto your puckered entrance.

“Wait - no, I - Marco, please -” you weakly tried to get up but knew you were no match for his strength. 

“Shhh. Not right now, you’re not ready yet. We’re just preparing you.” Marco spoke to you in low tones, trying to calm you. He continued to rub and started pushing something hard and large into your hole. It felt like an intrusion and you didn’t want it in. You tried to stop it from being put in you, but Marco wasn’t relenting.

“Ah, ah, Dove. Show us you can let us in. Show us you can be good and accept your punishment. It’s not a large plug, it will fit. You'll learn to like it.” He continued to push the plug deeper.

You tried to turn your head to watch him but Thatch came and stood in front of you. He crouched down so his face was level with yours. Putting his hand on your cheek, he looked at you downhearted.

“Is it true Mami? You’re sorry you were so disrespectful to me this morning?” It was difficult for you to answer, Marco was still driving the plug deeper into you, stretching your hole. The plug was tapered and you could feel it getting larger with each push from Marco.

“Yes, Thatch. I’m ah -I’m sorry. I won’t - aah - I won’t do it again.” You felt the plug narrow and the flared base flush against your skin. Marco was gently grinding it into you.

“See? What a good dove you can be yoi,” Marco said. “You’re keeping it in until you’re told otherwise. I’ll know if you don’t.” You shivered - you didn’t doubt he would be able to tell. Now that the plug was in, Marco was toying with it, twisting it and moving it. You didn’t enjoy the sensations but it didn’t hurt.  Marco started moving the fingers of his other hand down into your slit. 

“Feel this, Thatch. She’s soaking wet yoi.” The chef reached over you to run his fingers through your folds as well. Thatch took his time and started running his fingers lightly over your clit. You squirmed from the sensation of being so full and teased.

“Absolutely drenched. Maybe this isn’t such a punishment for her.” It was humiliating for them to talk about you like you weren’t there, like you were just an object to play with. 

“Show Thatch you love him,” Marco rasped. “Show him you’re thankful he took care of you.” Marco sat you upright on his lap while Thatch stood up and undid his pants. Sitting up meant the plug was pressing into you, making you whimper. Marco put one of his hands on your jaw and squeezed, holding your mouth open. Thatch slid his erect cock into your mouth, all the way to the back.

“ Ahh I needed this,” Thatch sighed as he drove himself forward, “remember, Mami, I need you like you need me. No one will ever love you like we do.” Thatch’s hands had a hold of your head, keeping you in pace with his desire. One of Marco’s hands had snaked up your shirt and was rolling your nipple between his fingers while he kissed the back of your neck. His other hand was playing with your clit while Thatch was fucking your mouth, gagging you on his thick cock. You could barely breathe, tears were streaming down your face as Thatch forced himself deeper and deeper into your throat. You started to see stars in your vision and tried to pull back but Marco was behind you, keeping you where they wanted. Every time you moved, the plug in your ass did too, causing you to shift in discomfort. It was so much you couldn’t focus on any one thing happening to you. You felt an orgasm building within you to your dismay.

“If you want to come, you need to ask for permission,” Marco ordered, increasing the tempo of his rubbing. You whined but couldn’t talk with Thatch’s dick deep in your mouth. Marco didn’t provide you with any solutions, just continued to stimulate you.

““T-that’s it nnf t-t ake my cock, take all of it. Show me you’re mine,” Thatch gritted out. He was close and was pumping into you furiously. You were gagging but he didn’t stop. He came with a groan, gripping your hair tightly, and you felt him come down your throat. Marco stopped his movements once Thatch did, denying your orgasm.

“Swallow it,” Thatch ordered. You were panting and getting your breath back but did as he told you. “Show me,” he said, hand in your hair tugging your head up. You dutifully opened your now empty mouth. Thatch smiled radiantly down at you.

“Too bad you didn’t get to come, yoi.” Marco said slyly, lifting you off his lap. The plug remained firmly nestled within you to your dismay.

“See, Mami? Everything is wonderful again. Come, let’s go eat dinner together. I know you haven’t eaten today. There’s a party tonight to celebrate Ace and Marco’s successful mission and I want you to eat beforehand.” Thatch was all smiles as you reached for your clothes that were bunched around your ankles. You were glad he was happy and no longer angry with you. Ace was right, everything seemed to be forgiven.

“Oh, one last thing yoi,” Marco noted in a casual tone, “you aren’t allowed to wear panties. I need to be able to quickly check that you’re following the rules. You will wear dresses from now on.” Your head was spinning - there were so many new rules you had to follow. How were you supposed to remember everything? Dresses didn’t really fit with the kind of work you did, but you didn’t think you could complain, especially now that they weren’t mad anymore. You’d stand out even more than you already did on the ship, which wasn’t a pleasant thought. Maybe this would just be temporary.

Marco handed you a coral colored dress you hadn’t noticed before. You took the dress in your hands and stood for a few moments, thinking. How long had this been planned? But you were uncomfortable, tired, and actually hungry so you quickly changed into the dress. At least your back was covered for the party.

[2miniverses]

another night

warnings: a little bit of angst, mentions of stress from school

a/n: i haven't been very confident in my writing so this is the best i have rn... life got busy, i just turned 19 and i'm starting college this month so i've been having fun. anyway, enjoy this little drabble and i hope everyone's well!

a/n pt.2: lowercase is intentional, roommates to lovers?? maybe :3

wc: 561

minho’s in his head again. his life is good so there’s no reason he should be crying.

well, college is stressful, he misses his parents, and his childhood friends are far away, still living in his hometown and-

okay maybe he had a reason to be crying but it’s irrational. ‘this is a part of growing up’, he says to himself every night. this is just another one of those nights. just another night of him crying his eyes out about feeling an overwhelming feeling of loneliness while sitting in darkness in his comfortable queen-sized bed.

a knock interrupted the stressed man from his thoughts. he is lonely but not physically alone. he has a roommate named jisung, who’s unfortunately a night owl. he’s nice, adorable, and sometimes really loud when he brings his friends over to make music but other than that, minho has no problems with his younger roommate. minho wiped his eyes and opened the door, praying it was not obvious he was bawling his eyes out just now.

“hey. what’s up?” minho croaked out.

jisung tried to look at his face, the hallway light being no help illuminating the features of the man in front of him.

“are you okay?” the honey-blonde-haired boy asked.

“yeah i’m fine just trying to go to sleep,” the man sniffled.

“i think you’re lying. you know you can talk to me right?” jisung leaned on the doorframe with a small smile. “you said i could talk to you when i’m feeling down so the same applies to you.”

yeah, he did say that but he didn’t actually mean it. that’s lee minho, the man who tells everyone that he can deal with his problems independently. jisung was referring to some nights ago when he had a panic attack over an exam he had the next day. minho stayed there with him to calm him down and told him that he’ll be here.

that was the breaking point. minho started crying silently but the tear drops falling onto the wood floor made it obvious.

“oh, minho-ssi,” jisung said sadly, embracing him slowly. “i’m gonna take us to your bed okay?” minho nodded and let the younger take them to his bed

never in lee minho’s life would he think that he’d end up practically cuddling with his roommate after crying his eyes out for an hour yet here he was, calmer than ever. jisung was petting him like a cat and telling him random facts he saw while scrolling too far down youtube shorts which would get a snort or even a chuckle from minho which was enough for jisung to make him feel like he was helping.

“do you feel better minho-ssi?” jisung asked quietly, still playing with the other man’s hair.

“call me hyung, jisungie,” minho chuckled. “but yes i am feeling better. thank you so much.”

“you’re welcome hyung! it’s no problem,” jisung smiled down at him.

some minutes passed by and minho finally picked up his phone to scroll through social media before he went to sleep. he noticed the time and tried to get up from jisung’s embrace but failed.

“jisung, you should probably-“

he was asleep. minho shrugged and laid back down into his roommate— friend’s arms. he’s okay with falling asleep in his embrace. this is definitely better than how he spent his other nights.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

On a Technicality Part 3

Hey I love your work so much, especially your Sander’s Sides fics! I didn’t even know about Sander’s Sides before finding your work, but your writing is so good it got me into them! I really like your fic “On a Technicality.” I was wondering if you could maybe continue it if possible? It would be so cool to see demon Logan taking good care of Remus after taking him in, while also trying to “study” him, as he put it (I love how demon Logan is caring, kind and well-intentioned but also slightly off-putting lol). – anon

Hi! You are one of my absolute favorite fic writers! I hope you are having a lovely and blessed day! I'm not sure whether you are taking requests rn or if this is even the right place, so if you want to ignore the rest of this that's totally fine. I had a request/prompt you might enjoy: Someone (possibly Remus would make the most sense) starts doing self-destructive behavior for attention, then slowly grows to be convinced he deserves it. Hurt/comfort ensues. Ciao! -🦇

I just reread On a Technicality and man, I love it so much! Logan is so soft and Remus is in so much need of care! If you'd like, I would love to see how Remus adjusts to his new life with Logan, whatever that entails! 💙💚 – naminethewitch

Read on Ao3 Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: anxiety attack/panic attack, self destructive behaviour

Pairings: intrulogical

Word Count: 3395

"Easy, easy, little one," as darkness envelops him once more. He splutters for air—when did that happen?—leaning back against Logan's chest as his hand settles back over his eyes, the other patting his chest in reassuring measures. "That's it, take a deep breath…I'm so sorry, my dear, I should've known that would be too much for you."

"Alright, little one," Logan says softly, removing the hand over his eyes, "you're all safe now."

"It's probably a good thing that you did that, because I've never been more tempted to look around than when you said how important it was that I kept my eyes closed."

He chuckles. "Noted. Is there anything else I should keep in mind like that?"

Remus doesn't say anything, because he's too busy staring at things that he is now allowed to look at, except no, he isn't, because everything he's currently looking at is spectacular.

They're standing in a tower, except it's not really a tower, because like, half of it is missing. The parts of it that aren't missing are rich black stone except it's not just black, it's reflecting blues and pinks and purples and every single color in the world depending on how the light hits it, but that light that's hitting it is—okay wait, no, no, he's getting ahead of himself. The rest of the tower has this furniture that Remus shouldn't even be allowed to look at, be in the same room as—it's all rich wood and velvet and looks like all the things he overheard from people talking about the castles and palaces and the fairy tales stolen from books—and there are machines and things that he has no idea what they are but they all look exceptionally fine and delicate and he has no idea what he's gotten himself into—

But that's not even touching what's outside the tower. The edge of the room opens up to this lush garden that looks like every single thing they ever told him about Paradise: exquisite, welcoming, and never for him, all verdant greens and bright colors and there's a waterfall in the corner that seems to fall forever into endless starry sky—because they're standing in the middle of the stars. The sky isn't blue or gray or black or any one color, it's full of stars and gleaming things and swirls of clouds that seem to defy any sort of logic or reason and it's all so beautiful it's terrifying and Remus—Remus—

"Easy, easy, little one," as darkness envelops him once more. He splutters for air—when did that happen?—leaning back against Logan's chest as his hand settles back over his eyes, the other patting his chest in reassuring measures. "That's it, take a deep breath…I'm so sorry, my dear, I should've known that would be too much for you."

"What—what is this," he croaks, "did I—did I do something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Logan stiffens. "What in the world do you mean, my dear, how could you have done something wrong?"

"Is this a punishment? Did—did you trick me? Am I—you—you did it, good job, whatever trick it was, I—I fell for it, I—"

"Hush, Remus, shh, shh, there isn't a trick. There's no punishment, you won't be in pain, I would never harm you. Take a deep breath, shh, shh, slow your breathing now…once you're calm, we can talk and clear this up, yes? But for now, little one, I need you to breathe."

Clinging onto Logan's hand for dear life, he hunches his shoulders, trying to get smaller, get away from all of this, get as small as he can so he won't touch any of it, panting against his knees. Logan folds impossibly close, his mouth next to his ear, still murmuring reassurances. The cramped position trips some primal sense in his brain. That's right. Cramped. Small. Uncomfortable. Difficult to breath. This, this he's used to. This is his familiar space. He knows how to navigate this. He quickly switches to breathing deeper, taking more time with each one to get the air he needs, pressing his cheek against his knee in lieu of something more comfortable. But try as he might, Logan's hand over his eyes is too soft, too tender, and he keeps stroking up and down his side as though soothing a frightened animal—which he guesses he is, at least a little bit.

"Forgive me, my dearest one," Logan whispers and the hint of genuine remorse in his voice is enough to give Remus another shudder, "I had no intention to make you think this was all a trick. I do not mean you any harm, this I swear to you. I—if I had known the sight of my dwelling would concern you so, I would have manifested us in another room."

"What—what is this place?"

"This is my home, Remus, where I live. Well, I guess technically this is my…living room, I believe mortals call it? The main space where I spend my time, be it at leisure or at work."

Remus gulps. He was right, then: there is a catch to all of this. He'd been under the impression that he'd be no more than a glorified pet, but this was as blunt a confirmation that he was going to get. Alright. Okay, he can do this. He knows—he knows how to do this, at least. He's had practice in it.

"What are the rules?"

Logan jerks again. "Rules? Whatever do you mean, little one?"

"What—what am I supposed to do? I'm not—I don't know how long you've been—I don't know how familiar you are with the village you—that I came from, but I promise I do know how to follow rules, I just…sometimes I have questions about them. But as long as you tell me what they are, I'll do my best!"

Logan's quiet for a long time. Oh, no, are there going to be that many rules? He's not sure he can remember all of them, not while he's so new—maybe Logan will be patient. He's been nice so far.

"Why are you determined that you must do something? Are you asking about restrictions I have for you?"

"Yes."

"None."

No. No, no, no, that's not how this works. "But I—what if I break something? What if I ruin something?"

"Then we will fix it."

"How will we fix it?" How much must I pay for my mistakes? What sacrifices will you demand from me?

Logan sighs, settling on the floor behind him and tugging him into his lap. One arm wraps around his waist, holding him close, the other still lightly petting his closed eyelids. "It will depend on the thing that is broken. If it is simply a plate, then I will remake it or discard the pieces and we will use another one. If it is one of my many tinkering projects, then I daresay they will not get into a more broken state than they already are. And as for everything else…"

He lets out another chuckle, leaning forward to hook his chin over Remus's shoulder.

"They are all only things, Remus," he says softly, too softly, "and you are far more important to me than any of them ever will be."

"But you just got me. You've had those for—for—for years, how can I be more important?"

"I've just met you," comes the gentle correction, "and you are a living, breathing, wonderful mortal who has chosen to come and let me house you, tend to you, study you. That makes you someone else I now have the pleasure of caring for."

"But I'm—" he breaks off into a humiliating noise when lips press themselves delicately to the curve of his neck.

"Forgive me for taking the liberty, I…I have always wondered how it might feel. But this is about you, not indulging my curiosity." The arm around his waist urges him to turn around, back in the position they were on the stone floor—they had only just left, how does it feel like an eon ago? "Allow me to put this bluntly, then: I have not brought you here to serve me or become another one of my trinkets. I have brought you here to live with me, and that means that I could no more be angry at you for breaking or ruining something than I could be at myself. You are not to be bound here by any means, to be punished for breaking rules or restricted in any sort of way. Do you understand?"

"I…no."

"Which parts of it are unclear to you?"

"I deserve it!"

"Deserve what, dear?"

"To—to be hurt when I mess up, that's the point, that's why I was—that's why they picked me to be the sacrifice, I'm—"

"Enough."

Logan's voice sharpens the way it did when the zealot spoke and Remus's shoulders shoot up to his ears. This is it. This is the point where he goes too far. This is where he learns the consequences of his actions, this is where—

"I do not know who it was that inspired this idea of deserving pain, but they should pray to whatever deity they worship that our paths never cross." His voice is dark, swirling depths, but not…not at Remus? "You are not something to be disciplined like an unruly animal, and you most definitely so not deserve to be afraid or hurting. I will have none of that. To err is to live, how could I punish you for living?"

"B-but—but—"

"Oh, little one," he murmurs when Remus starts to tear up under his hand, "shh, shh, come here, come put your head on my shoulder, yes, that's right…"

He has half a mind to apologize for how much he's crying on Logan, for all he's wanted to study him all he's apparently able to study is how many ways he can make Remus cry just by treating him with some small amount of kindness. Logan, at least, doesn't seem to mind, rubbing his back again as the sobs slowly work their way out of his chest. He calms much quicker, body likely already growing used to the soft treatment—and wasn't that a scary thought?—and cautiously, cautiously opens his eyes.

The floor. He can look at the floor. It's pretty too, it's got this cool pattern of tile where it appears like little pieces of stained glass are in it.

"Your floor is cool," he mumbles.

"I like it too. I got the idea from this one creature's skin, designed to reflect the light in such a way that it can change color at will."

"What's it called?" Logan says a word that he couldn't hope to pronounce. "…oh."

The chuckle warms him from chest to tummy. "Don't worry, dear, there are names in your tongue, I just don't know them yet."

"How many languages do you know?"

"I use about three hundred in typical interactions, but I possess the ability to learn any given language or script provided that I can either hear it spoken or see it written."

"I didn't even know there were that many languages."

"The Cosmos are far vaster than you could ever conceive, little one, and I will be more than happy to be your guide through them."

"Do you have, like, a ship that you use to travel?"

"Most demon-kind can travel using the Aether—"

"The what?"

"It's a realm that exists just below the material plane—that is, the plane that most life is capable of existing on, although there are some elemental spirits and beings capable of existing elsewhere—that acts as sort of a…conduit, let's say." He sighs, fingers idly scratching at the hair at the nape of Remus's neck. "I believe any further explanation would require my model of the Cosmos."

Remus dares lift his eyes a little higher, looking at the garden. He feels like that's safer, he knows a little bit about what plants and things are sort of supposed to look like. "What is that flower called?"

"Which one, dear?"

"The—the one that has the blue and purple stripes."

"Ah, that's a Morpho bloom. Stunning, isn't it? There is an planet in one of the galaxies near the Nalimbo cluster where they grow in a thick cover over the mountains, it's quite a sight."

"That sounds really cool."

"If you would like," and here Logan's voice grows soft and sweet again, "I would be happy to take you so you could see."

A lump appears in Remus's throat. "You…you would?"

"If it would please you, then yes."

Remus just stares at the flower. Logan must feel the way his mood starts to dip for he adjusts his hold, bringing his mouth closer to his ear.

"If you would be so kind, little one, may I ask a few questions of my own?"

"…yeah."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Um—" he wracks his brain— "two suns ago?"

"And the last time you could bathe?"

"I washed in the river a sun ago."

"Would it be alright with you if I took you to the bathing chamber? Not because I believe you dirty or unclean, but you are still covered in blood and I imagine it is not the most comfortable for you."

"I…kind of forgot about it, to be honest."

Logan's quiet for a moment, in a way where Remus is sure he's thinking either that's concerning or of course you did, which one is dependent on how nice Remus is planning on being to himself today, before he tightens his grip. "I would have us walk there, so you could get used to the layout of this place, but I believe it might be better to go there directly, given our…current position. Is that alright with you?"

"Should I shut my eyes again?"

"Yes, if you wouldn't mind. I can tell you when it is safe to open them. It wouldn't be more than a moment, I assure you."

Remus closes his eyes and there's another tugging swirl in his gut, before Logan is rubbing his back and telling him it's safe to open. He does so only hesitantly, only to look around at the small room. Granted, 'small' is relative compared to the massive space they were just in, but it's still about the size of the barn attic he's used to sleeping in. One side has a set of gleaming taps, the vast majority of the floor a shimmering pool basin. Logan's hands have him positioned right near the edge, Logan himself just behind.

"May I help you undress and wash, my dear? Or would you rather do it yourself?"

"I—uh—I don't know if I can…do this."

"By 'this,' do you mean operate the bath?"

He fiddles with the hem of his threadbare tunic. His mouth twists up. After another moment Logan lets out a quiet oh and a hand cups his chin, raising him up to meet softly glowing eyes.

"Let me help you," he coaxes, "let me show you that you can be treated gently, that you can enjoy things, that you are deserving of safety and comfort."

"How am I supposed to say no to that?"

"You aren't, little one. Here, allow me…" Hands, too-gentle hands, slip underneath his tunic and begin to lift. Remus shuts his eyes tightly, only for the movement to stop. "Look at me, my dear."

He does. Logan tilts his head, his eyes flash, and behind him, Remus can hear water running. "What?"

"If I ever do something you do not want, I need you to tell me, will you promise to do that?"

"Y-yes, yes, I promise."

"Alright. Can I help you remove this? So that you might bathe?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, little one." He gathers the material as though it were the finest silk, lifting it gently over his head and settling it to the side. Remus flushes at the sheer number of scars and terrible things written all over his skin, but Logan runs a hand through his hair and smiles. "Would you like to remove the rest yourself while I tend to the bath?"

"Is…is that okay?"

"Of course, my dear."

This can't be real, he thinks as he takes off the rest of his filthy clothes and sits on the warm stone floor.

This can't be real, as he turns around to see the steam rising from the perfect warm bath, Logan smiling softly at him.

This can't be real, he thinks as he sinks into the warm, warm water, his body crying out in relief as pains leave him and a moan slips into the still air.

"It's real, little one," Logan whispers, coming back over to crouch by his head, nails scratching delicately at his scalp, "I promise you, it's all real."

"I'm gonna fall asleep in here."

"That's alright—I'll lean you against the side so you won't slip under water, though I might have to wake you so I can get you to your bed."

"My—my bed?"

Logan tilts his head, something slightly sad coloring his expression. "You didn't think I brought you all this way just to have you sleep on the floor, did you? No, dear one, you'll have a bed. Any sort of bed you like, though…oh, never mind."

"No, no," Remus says, far too eagerly as the water swirls around him, "what?"

"Well—I had hoped, at some point, when you felt comfortable enough, that you might be amenable to…sharing a bed with me."

Remus blinks. Then he blinks again. Logan tugs on his tie and adjusts his glasses—is the demon nervous? He should be the one that's nervous, putting aside the whole demon thing, it's someone else asking to share his bed, someone who—okay, look, if Remus didn't know that Logan was a demon and that he'd been summoned, he…he might react the same way to seeing Logan as he did to seeing the living room, okay?

"Of course, that doesn't have to be now—"

"No!" The shout echoes around the room and he winces. "I—I mean, I—yeah. I'd—yes."

Logan's face slowly splits into a smile. "You would share with me?"

"If…if that's okay with you?"

"More than, my dear, absolutely alright with me. Let's set about getting you on with your bath, shall we?"

"And will—will you take me to see the flowers on the mountains?"

Logan chuckles. "Yes, little one."

"And will you show me your model? To explain the—the—the—"

"The Aether? Yes, I can."

"And will you let me ask about all your machines and things?"

"Darling, I will happily do all of those things, and more, so much more." He leans down and kisses his forehead—oh, there's no way this couldn't be real, Remus would never dare to imagine something like this. "I'll even introduce you to my Kraken, if you like."

Remus's eyes nearly leave his skull. "You have a Kraken?"

"He's not mine, per se, he comes and goes about the infinite multiverse as he pleases, but I do believe we have some companionship." His smile quirks up higher. "I daresay you will get along with him even better than i will."

"What's his name? Does he have a name?"

"I believe he goes by Oliver."

"I wanna meet him," Remus slurs as Logan begins to wash his hair, "I really wanna meet him."

"Then you shall."

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[weak4skz]

Hope is For Suckers

Han Jisung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, fluff, angst, idol au

Summary: Han and y/n have been friends since before they remember. But what happens if their friendship is severed by an unfortunate situation and Han goes off to be an idol while y/n is in college. When they connect through a mutual friend, what happens then?

Word Count: 1.3k (sorry it's short I'm just trying to get this chapter out)

CHAPTER WARNINGS: eating disorder, negative self talk/thoughts, body dysorphia, a lot of feelings, panic attack

NOT PROOF READ!!!

THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE REPRESTATION OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THE FIC

A/N: Sorry for the really late update. I've been really busy and haven't been really motivated to write. I might but HIFS on hiatus until July but idk yet. Thank you for all the support though, I really appreciate it

want2besomeoneelse lixie-jisung-stan jisuperboard mentoslol i-dont-know-me-either mooncallerautumn poisonivy21

this is my current taglist. if your name is in read it means I can't tag you. also please comment if you would like to be added

--------------------------------------------------------------

When we pull into Chan’s designated parking spot I’m so nervous I could puke. 

“Hey,” Chan says, gently putting a hand on my knee to stop its bouncing. “They’ll all love you just as much as I do. But if you still want to go home I’ll drive you ‘kay?”

“No, I want to meet them.” I force out of my mouth. He just nods and we both get out of the car and begin to walk towards the door. When he opens it, the first thing I notice is the smell of freshly baked brownies. Then, I hear yelling and laughing coming from the living room.

“YOU landed on MY property. PAY ME THE DANG FINE.” 

Then I fear another voice scream

“YOU’RE IN JAIL! I’M NOT GIVING MONEY TO A CRIMINAL.”

“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PLAY!!!” the first screams.

All of this over a game of monopoly? 

“Boys” I mutter with a playful roll of my eyes. “I know right” Chan responds with a small smile.

Chan leads me to the living room. “Hey guys” he greets the six men casually.

“Hey Chan hyung.” one with mid length dark hair and glasses responds. “Who’s that?” he asks, pointing to me.

“This is Y/n. She’s a good friend of mine and older than half of you so show some manners and introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Jeongin” glasses says.

“Seungmin”

“I’m Felix”

“I’m sexy king Hyunjin”

“Man shut up.” the shortest says with a small laugh, “I’m Changbin”

“I’m Minho”

Then they go around again and tell me their ages. But I thought Chan told me they’re were eight members in his group? As I finish my thought, someone bursts in through the door.

“‘Sorry I’m late guys. Oh hi… what’s your name? I’m…”

“Han?”

There is a pause, a moment of silence, and for a second I regret saying anything.

“Uh yea, I’m Han Jisung. How did you know my name?”

“Chan talks about you gusy all the time. I just assumed it was you because you were the only one missing. I’m Y/n''

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh there is no way HAN JISUNG the man who is (partially) responsible for my villain backstory is the eighth member of Chan’s band

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick” I say, trying to excuse myself from the source of my impending panic attack. I speed walk to Chan’s bathroom and lock the door behind me. Once I get the feeling that I’m safe, I slide my back down the door and sit on the floor, bringing my knees to my chest and burying my head between them. Then I try to regulate my breathing before I start hyperventilating.

Breath in, one two three, breath out. Breath in, one two three, breath out

I repeat it over anad over again until my breathing is as regulated as it is going to get. Then, I get up and fix my mascara and blot away the bits that escaped with my tears.

I walk out of the bathroom and find Chan alone in the kitchen. “Hey Chan, I’m feeling kind of sick so I think I’m going to head home.” 

“Are you okay? You were fine when we were at lunch.” he looked concerned. Great, now I feel bad for lying

“I just got really bad cramps out of nowhere. And you know I get crabby wehen I don’t feel very well.” I try to end the conversation quickly so he doesn’t catch me lying. “Oh, I didn’t know you were on your period. I would have just brought lunch to your place. Let me go get my keys so I can get you home, kay?” 

My period? Ohhhh, he thinks I’m on my period. Thank God he thought I was on my dperiod because I hadn’t thought that far into my lie. While celebrating that little victory, Han walks into the kitchen. 

“Oh hey. I saw you were looking sick and I wanted to come check up on you” he said while grabbing a soda from the fridge. “Yea I just have really bad cramps.” I lied again.

“That sucks,” he started, taking a sip of his fanta. “Hey, I was just wondering if you went to Fairview High School. You kinda look like this girl I used to hang out with.”

“Uh yeah, I went there. I thought I knew you from somewhere but I couldn’t tell.” I responded. ‘A girl I used to hang out with’ huh. Was I really the only one that was thinking about our relationship for the past seven years. Not gonna lie, that kind of hurt. Because up to a couple moments ago I thought very highly of Han, I still considered him a friend. Because he had been my only friend for so long, I sort of held hope that he would be my friend forever. But I was too naive, I should have known he would forget me. I mean, I’m not that memorable; but I thought I would at least be more than a girl he ‘used to hang out with.’

Not a moment later, Chan comes back into the kitchen with my shoes. “Oh, hey Han. The kids are waiting for you so they can start a new game of uno.”

“Ok. Nice catching up with you Y/N.” I mustered the nicest smile I could at the moment and responded with a bitter ‘you too’ before moving to hop off the counter to put on my shoes. 

Chan holds me down by my knees and kneels down to lace up my converse himself. “What were you guys talking about?” he asked after tying the first shoe. “We used to go to the same highschool.”

“Cool, were you guys friends?” Chan asks, now finished with tying both shoes. “I thought so” I mumble, mostly to myself. 

[inmyminditsreal]

Hey Melody,

That last request was so good. Can you write one where the reader takes Spencer home to meet her family? He's super awkward and smart like he always is. Love you so much! Thanks for being great!!!!!!

Hiii!! Of course your wish is my command!! Idk why but recently ive been writing longer fics, so i hope you enjoy! 💞

Summary: you're taking spencer to meet your family and hes smart and awkward and adorable. Your family loves him.

Fem!reader x spencer reid

Word count: 1.1k

Today is the day you would be taking Spencer to meet your big family. You’re somewhat nervous (almost having a panic attack) because your family can get a little crazy. Nothing harmful, necessarily, but they get excited about things like this. When your brother had brought his girlfriend home they threw a party, ribbons, streamers, gifts, games and so much more. Your brother wouldn’t be coming though, he had work. You’ve already told Spencer all of this and he thought it was sweet. You noticed he was a bit nervous too.

“You okay sweetheart?” You ask while walking up behind him. He’s fixing his tie in the mirror. With a deep breath he says, “Yeah, just a little nervous. Are you sure they’ll like me? I mean you’re you and I'm just me.” 

“Yeah and you know what? You’re the best person I've ever met and - might I mention, the love of my life. They’re gonna love you just as much as I do.”  you reply back.

He smiles as you lean over and kiss him on the cheek.

“Okay, let’s go?” He says.

“Mhm.”

You walk out hand in hand and begin the drive. Even though you know how awkward Spencer is, you know your family will love him nonetheless. Arriving at your family’s house, you park, then step out. Spencer gives you a nervous smile before you whisper,

“It’ll be okay, trust me.” While you hold out your hand. He takes it and gestures to you to walk toward the door, you do. With a simple knock the night has begun. The door opens and you’re both greeted by your mother,

“Oh hi! You must be Spencer- I’ve heard such great things about you!” She says while wrapping him into a mom hug. You could see his arms try and figure out where to go. They land awkwardly on her upper-back and he gives her a gentle ‘pat pat’. After the strange hugs come to an end Spencer gives her that clumsy nervous smile he always gives and says,

“Yeah! And I-I’ve heard such good things about you as well. Thank you for letti- uhm inviting me Mrs.!” 

your mother gestures for him to continue along in the house. He looks to you for the look of approval. You smile and walk with him into the living room. You stop dead in your tracks and see that there's ribbons. There's streamers, and THERE IS a BALLOON WITH ‘Welcome to the family, Spencer!’ ON IT!

 You blurt out, “Oh my god, mom! You did not have to do all this!”

“Well, of course I did, honey, this is important.” She laughs.

You shake your head and mutter, “You seriously didn’t.” under your breath.

Spencer smiles and looks at you. You have a look that says ‘sorry my parents are insane.’ 

He shakes his head and whispers, “It's okay, you aren’t gonna scare me away with balloons and ribbons.”

You smile and nod. Your dad walks up to Spencer while holding out his hand, Spencer hesitantly shakes it and tries to be as firm as possible, clearly. 

“Spencer! How are ya?” He says while making scary eye contact with him.

Spencer looks like he’s trying to find words and lands on, “Uhm yeah I’m good, great.”

Your dad gives him a death stare, then guffaws and almost shouts, “HAH! Got ya pal! I’m just kidding! Thanks for coming. You know she really is crazy about you. She keeps having like- hour long phone calls with her mother in the middle of the night, all to talk about you!” 

Spencer looks surprised and smiles at you. But he can see you're already giving your dad a mean glare. He can tell you’re joking but, not fully.

Next are your aunties, who seem to be darting directly toward you and Spencer. You can’t avoid what's about to happen.

“Spencer of my gosh you are so handsome!” your first aunty says while cupping his cheeks and then finally, giving the boob-smothering aunty hug and finishing him off with the not-so-subtle cheek kiss. Spencer barely makes it out and you can tell. 

“Nice to meet you too.” He says.

Your other aunty just seemed to be entertained by her wine glass so you take that as an escape. You grab Spencer by the hand and go towards your parents. But get caught many times by different family members. With lots of cousin hugs and aunty kisses later, Spencer faintly seems to be surviving. Though, occasionally you give him an ‘are you okay?’ look that he always nods at.

“Can we eat now?” You quip with a pleasant smile. Now finally infront of your parents.

Your mom, standing next your dad, says, 

“ Of course! Dinner is ready and we wouldn’t want it to get cold, follow me.”

And we follow her, which lands us sitting at the dining table. You get up to go help your mother, which follows by her pleading that you sit back now. With not too much of a fight, you oblige. You smile at Spencer, he smiles back. You hold his hand under the table. Your mother begins to bring out an entire roast chicken. With mashed potatoes and so much more. You begin to feel hungry, like really hungry. You’d always loved your moms cooking and right now it felt like a necessity to devour it, and you did. You were honestly too busy eating to notice Spencer talking. 

“And also 88% of Americans regularly partake in family dinners, 59% of families dine together at least five times weekly. And more generally, 84% of parents agreed that family meals were important but only 50% of family dinners were eaten together.”

You look up at him and can see that your parents eyes are darting in between Spencer and each other. All of your cousins, aunts, and uncles stare at him. 

“Wow! I mean honey you told me he was smart but I didn’t know you meant a walking encyclopaedia!” Your mother looks at you and laughs.

Your dad smiles and adds, “Way to go kid!”

Everyone makes sweet remarks and begs him to tell them about random topics regarding their lives.

Spencer smiles at them and then at you. You all spend the rest of the night listening to Spencer's occasional genius blabber, your parents' corny jokes, you laughing at them, your uncle's bold jokes, and your aunt's wine glass clinking against yours. As the night comes to an end, you and Spencer are standing at the door, saying your goodbyes.

“You are just great together! It was a pleasure meeting you Spencer.” Your mother says, giving him yet another mom hug, but definitely not the last one. And your dad walks up to Spencer, pats him on the shoulder and says, “You really are a special kid, glad you two found each other.” 

You're surprised to hear that coming from your dad, and you give him a reassuring look that he knows is a, ‘thank you.’ 

“It was great to meet you guys too. I look forward to seeing you both again.” Spencer promises.

You smile, giving your parents more goodbyes and hugs. With the shut of the door the night ends. 

You both walk out, hand in hand. Smiling at each other and giggling.

“How’d I do?” Spencer asks.

“You were perfect, absolutely perfect.”

[v3nusxsky]

Chosen mother| h&c

*A/n~ I'm loving having more time to write now. I'm sorry I've been rubbish at posting but honestly all I've wanted to do is write. So this fic honestly is providing me with a good sense of relief. Jake is a made up oc? Read on my doves*

Tw~ hinted sexual assault, dead beat dad (I feel y'all) family issues?

Prompt~ Reader is a student (19) and gets pregnant. The father leaves and Larissa helps (thank you for talking with me to ensure I get your prompt spot on Abi1468 )

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You were late. Two weeks late. Two weeks ago you realised that the boy you'd been talking to was using you. Jake. He attended Jericho high, senior year and you'd met during the outreach day. The pair of you seemed to really hit it off. He didn't judge you for your Florakinesis. In fact he told you it made you uniquely beautiful. God how you longed to go back in time and tell yourself not to get swept up in those words. Words mean nothing without actions.

The night it all came out was horrific. Stupidly, you'd fallen for the trick. Now you'd be lying if you said it hadn't happened before. Maybe that's why you didn't tell anyone? The embarrassment of not only once but twice. The first time is what triggered your Florakinesis to show itself. Completely out of control due to your emotions being so unstable. Quite rightly so. But that's how you found your way to Nevermore. Your parents disowning you completely, all due to the fact you were raped. The age of 14 is no way to lose your innocence. A dark period in your life where you were alone to deal with the aftermath. And now you'd do it again. 

Once Jake had realised you wouldn't willingly sleep with him, it went downhill from there. He forced himself on you, you couldn't fight him off despite your valiant efforts. Throat hoarse from screaming and crying. Only while he continued his down right horrendous act, did he divulge that this was all a plan. Gain your trust, take what he wants and then leave never to be seen again. Bragging rights to have one of the most unusual breeds of outcast. You felt disgusted and disappointed in yourself for falling for it. That fateful night is what lead you to being sat in the corner of your dorm crying and clutching a little white test. Body still littered in the bruising from that night.

Two weeks late. And all the little test could do is flash the positive result. Tears falling freely, you are too young. You don't want this. Sobs tried to force themselves out of your tightly sealed lips as you attempted to silence them. You had to tell him. He has a right to know. You knew that. But the thought of hearing his voice again was sending you into a violent panic attack. But this is half his baby he deserves to know he could possibly have a child out there.

With shakey hands, you sent off a text to jake asking to meet you at the school gates. In which he agreed to taunting you that you wanted a repeat of that night. Feeling physically sick at the suggestion you got yourself ready to face him. The monster he was yet you still couldn't keep this a secret. What would you do if he decided he wanted it? You most definitely did not. You didn't plan on being a mum any time soon especially not at 19. Heavens you were still attending Nevermore, a baby couldn't fit into that. Especially not one conceived in such a brutal manner. No family to help you'd be alone. What if you couldn't love it? After all it's an innocent in all of this. Did it deserve to be brought into the world facing the chance it's own mother couldn't fully love them? No you would rather do the unthinkable than risk that. After all you weren't too far gone so the process would be simple. It was just cells at the moment. You knew that. It didn't even have a beating heart yet. Biology had taught you that. Yet you couldn't help but hate yourself for thinking this way. An innocent life form, one you were willing to completely destroy. What kind of person are you?

You quickly made your way to the gate, shaking in fear once you spotted the familiar form of Jake. You took a deep breath and made it to the gate, close enough to be heard discreetly but not close enough for him to touch you. "I'm pregnant" you blurted out tears starting to stream silently once more. "And? It's not mine!" He protested anger flaring at your words. "You're the only one who's..." you trailed off "it's yours" you mumbled trying to find strength. He actually believed it was someone else's? Despite knowing what he did that night...

"I don't fucking care! I don't want it! No child of mine will be born from a freak of nature! Stop trying to pin some other freaks baby on me just because you whored yourself out to me!" He was screaming now, starting to draw attention to you both. His words hurt. But you had to stay strong. "It's yours Jake" you spat his name with so much venom even you cringed back from your own voice, "what do we do?" You murmured not wanting to give him your opinions. After all your body, your choice and you knew that. "We?! No no no! You! You and your baby are freaks of nature! Never contact me again!" And with that he left. Walking away from his own blood. You were truly alone now.

Guilt coursing through your veins, you decided to take a walk. Although you didn't want to keep it, you couldn't help but feel guilty for that. You just couldn't do it. Hopefully they would understand that? Right? It truly wasn't them. It was you. You just couldn't do this. They would always be with you tho. Despite how you were feeling they were half you. And that would always haunt you. What could they have become? A prince? A princess? Would they be intelligent like you? Would they have an ability like you? Or be a Normie? Perhaps you should keep it. After all it's not the baby's fault it's father is a monster. But you couldn't do that. You knew that. Despite knowing that, you were still stuck in an emotional turmoil.

During your walk, you became immersed in your own thoughts, so much so you didn't realise the time. Curfew. You'd missed curfew. When did it get so dark? And so cold ? Your body shivering with the cold and the sobs leaving you. When did you start sobbing? God, what were you doing. You made your way to the school hoping to slip in unnoticed. I mean who was on patrol tonight? Coach Vald? No that was yesterday. Thornhill, that was it. She was normally too entranced by a bounty book to pay close attention, you have a good shot at getting past her with no issues. Or so you thought.

It was the tall figure looking at the top of the stairs, that caused you to immediately stop in your tracks. Shit! That most definitely was not Miss Thornhill. Fuck! No, it only happened to be principle Weems. The one person who you seemed unable to hide from, over the years she seemed to have a soft spot for you. Maybe because you had no family around? You weren't quite sure but she always made sure to check on you at parent's weekend, spending a little time with you if you wished it. "Y/n ? Darling! What are you doing ? " the concern was evident as she took in your appearance. It was truly unlike you to break any rules. All you could do is stand there as sobs flowed from your lips. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to... I'm sorry principle weems" you murmured over and over again as she made her way to you. Gently taking your hand and guiding you to the safety of her office. Something was wrong. Clearly. And she'd not leave you alone to deal with whatever it was.

"Darling what's happened?" She questioned you gently leading you to sit in front of the dancing flames, hoping to provide some warmth to your frozen body. You couldn't respond to her, just breaking down even more at the care being directed at you. Instead you responded by throwing yourself into her arms, burrowing your face into the crook of her neck. Instantly strong arms wrapped around your quivering form, holding you in such a manner you'd not experienced in such a long time. Your body trembling in her capable hold as you let all the emotions you'd bottled up for long free.

"Oh my darling girl. You're okay. You're safe. I have you little one. Her reassuring words were never ending, soothing your distressed state. Her motherly persona calming you like she was your own mother. It must have been almost an hour of just sobbing while she held you before you could explain what had happened. When you started to talk but made no attempt to move, Larissa immediately started to listen extra carefully. Some of your words muffling against her neck, still she understood what you were trying to tell her.

"He. He I didn't want it" you whimpered out remembering just what had caused the issue. Red and blue little flowers popped up all over your exposed skin. They didn't go unnoticed by the taller women. Red she was familiar with. It meant you felt anger. Understandable with what you were describing to her. Blue was something new. Not one she had seen you sprout before. "Darling? Blue?" She whispered into your hair. "Sadness" you mumbled out embarrassed that your ability was starting to become uncontrollable.

"Larissa?" You whimpered out scared of what was to come. "Yes little one? " her tone soft as if she knew what you'd say next. "I'm pregnant..." you trailed off tears once again falling from your sore eyes. "Oh y/n. Is it his?" To which you nodded in her neck. "Okay darling, well what do you wish to do? We can do whatever you need." You sat in silence in her embrace. She was allowing you to choose? We? You weren't doing this alone? "I -I can't, fuck I can't keep it. I'm not ready. But I hate myself for getting rid of it. I don't know what to do. I don't have a mum or a sister to go to. I feel so alone. I hate myself for this." You ranted. Everything finally out in the open. Somehow helping slightly that you'd told someone.

"Y/n. It's okay to be scared. But you are young you don't have to do this. I know your family aren't present but if you wish it I'll be here for you. Every step of the way. No matter what you decide." She reassured her hold never faltering. "I can't do it principle Weems, I know I can't." You whimpered out clearly deeply saddened by the admission. The blue flowers covering every inch of exposed skin. "That's okay y/n have you scheduled anything?" To which you shook your head. "Okay then little one that's the first step we will make okay?" You nodded in response snuggling into her some more. Slowly little blush coloured flowers started to appear. Content in her motherly embrace.

"Little one? Have you thought of naming it?"her tone was soft and cautious not wanting to upset you any more than you had been. "N-no? I didn't think I deserved to?" You mumbled sadly. "Darling giving the baby a name may help with the healing process maybe something gender neutral?" She mused out loud. "Would make sense because it's too small to know what it is. I don't know many good names, god I'd be an atrocious mother if I can't even name it" you sighed red flowered sprouting once more. Internal anger causing them to be smaller than before.

"Y/n don't be so hard on yourself names are tricky things I have a few suggestions for you if you wish?" You nodded once more. Lavender flowers kooky those that had already bloomed. Exhaustion. "Okay so there's Charlie, Reese, Emery and even Sam as it could be short for Samuel or Samantha." You took a moment in thought, none of them feeling right. "What if I just called them dove?" You murmured. Shot sweet and not tied to a gender. Dove could also be related back to death which seemed to tie in perfectly. Your little dove too precious for this world.

"Dove is beautiful little one. Your little dove" Larissa was quick to confirm it was a beautiful name. "Y/n your exhausted I see the flowers, let's get you back to your dorm and all tucked up in bed hmm? We will start the process in the morning if it's what you want, I'll be here every step of the way. I may not be biologically your mum but every student at Nevermore our my little ones. I'd do anything to help and protect any of you..." she trailed off noticing your breathing had shallowed out and little pink flowers now took up residence where the blue were. Your skin a mixture of pink and purple as you dozed in her embrace.

Word count~ 2296

*A/n} this was such a joy to write. I hope you all enjoyed it and just a reminder to look after yourselves :)*

[kalinara]

So, I saw someone else's post pointing out the weird inconsistency with the way the Uncanny X-Team and the regular X-Team interact. How it starts out fairly pleasant but then, kind of out of the blue, the Uncanny team starts acting really hostile toward Scott and his team.

(Including a really nasty comment from Logan, and it's like, dude, weren't you fucking on the Moon, not that long ago?)

Meanwhile, on Scott's end of things, he's basically being polite, civil, and trying to adjust his plans to accommodate them.

I don't disagree with that post at all, but I didn't want to hijack it with my own thoughts, so this is my little bit of meta.

I admit, I've not caught up on a lot of the Krakoa stuff yet, but I definitely agree that this is inconsistent with the dynamics that I saw in those issues.

But it is definitely consistent with everything BEFORE Krakoa. And bizarrely, that makes me a bit optimistic. I remember, a long time ago, writing this rant about how consistently inconsistent the in universe treatment of Scott Summers was prior to his death. How everyone, under the pen of multiple authors, in multiple lines, seemed to fairly consistently believe the worst of him when his behavior would be completely opposite to their expectation.

I said then that it really did seem like it's building somewhere. And I'm cautiously thinking that it might still be. Rosenberg's X-Men, which I enjoyed very much despite its general pre-Krakoa bleakness, started out with Scott and Logan in a surprisingly okay place but things seemed to fall apart pretty dramatically and for not a lot of reason.

And honestly, I still can't quite get over Jono basically telling Scott that he hated him while he died. That was intense and singularly horrible.

But then everyone reunited and we pretty much got Krakoa right after that, and everything was different and good and bad and fucked up in all sorts of brand new ways. And I figured, okay, I was wrong, it really wasn't going anywhere. It was just weirdness that, if it ever had meant something, doesn't apply now.

But we're back to basics. We're back to the old patterns. We're back to Wolverine and whatever team represents the school and the "Xavier style" of mutant ideology against Scott's black ops "Magneto style" aggressive protection. And again, we have a Scott who doesn't seem to buy into that conflict while everyone around him does.

I had a theory briefly that the sheer irrational reaction of everyone around him was because Scott, as the Phoenix, right after killing Xavier, somehow mind-whammied the world to feel exactly what he did: a deep love and idealization for Charles Xavier that, while occasionally disappointed, never truly faltered, and a deep and complete loathing of one Scott Summers.

I still think that theory works, and might well explain why no one seems to remember that they were pretty fucking mad at Xavier at the end of the Krakoa stuff (with Logan actually trying to kill him.)

The other theory I have is simpler though, which is that Scott ends up being the focal point for all of his fellows grief, despair, and helpless, pointless anger because they think he can handle it.

If Charles Xavier is the spirit of the Dream, then Scott Summers is the embodiment of the X-Men. (I think there's even a point in one of the Captain Krakoa issues where we're told that "I am the X-Men" was basically his campaign speech at one of the Hellfire Galas). And as such, he's always going to be there: strong, implacable, steadfast and invulnerable to whatever they send his way.

And that leads to something really interesting, because as we've seen in X-Men #3. He's NOT. And that's not really surprising, it's not like Scott has ever been a paragon of good mental health. But the panic attack is new. And assuming that it's actually a panic attack and not some indicator of possession or powers going out of control or something, then it's a vulnerability that he might not be able to hide.

And that makes me think we might, FINALLY, see an actual resolution to this decades long thread.

And if not, well, if I didn't enjoy watching Scott Summers suffer, I wouldn't be reading X-Men comics.

(Also, Jean's actually alive now. She's in space at the moment, IIRC, but I really don't think she's going to tolerate this bullshit for too much longer, if and when she finally notices it happening.)

[signed-sapphire]

I have a really important question

So, as some of you may know, I'm creating an entirely-told-through-comic story of my rewrite of Disney's Wish. My rewrite changes Asha's personality to fit with who I enjoy to see in media, edits her design to make her less generic and more representational of the culture she is from, and adds a Starboy to act as her foil and trigger her character arc (as she does to him). Asha in The Fallen Star is a spoiled, Kusco-like princess insistent on getting her wish to become the greatest sorceress granted by her adoptive father, King Magnus. She doesn't care much for the people of her kingdom and yet still expects them to obey her every command. She's rude, self-centered, and sassy.

Now, I'm 100% on Korean, which means I am not black at all. So I've been doing some research about black culture and traditions to make sure I'm accurately representing Asha, even if it is in my own silly little rewrite. A great account I recommend following is @creatingblackcharacters, as they have so many good resources for writing black characters, especially if you're not poc.

For example, I cut out a scene where some children in Rosas braided Asha's hair with flowers (a reference to Tangled) because I learned that hair is a very important thing in black culture. I didn't want Asha to protest having people she was uncomfortable with do her hair because Starboy told her to be nice. Her braids are a special thing that connects her to her birth parents, and respecting that boundary was more important than shoving a reference in for me.

Now, I recently came across another article addressing the "angry black woman" stereotype in media. A pretty famous example of this is that patronizing and racist comic panel of Serena Williams. Essentially, the stereotype is suggesting that a black woman being angry is because she's a "beast" and "can't control her emotions" instead of thinking why she could be justifiably angry.

Here's the thing. TFS!Asha gets angry. She yells. She throws things and lashes out at people. She has visible muscles and a strong build. She makes threats and hurls insults. She loses control of herself at times. She has panic attacks and is closed-off and rude after she comes out of them. She's Kusco on steroids, basically, if Kusco was fueled by not only wayyyy to much self-confidence, but fear that if he didn't guard his heart, it would get shattered.

Part of Asha's arc is her learning to move forward (not move on) from her trauma as a child, when Stars rained down and killed her parents. She puts up with more stuff and learns to temper her anger, but she's still passionate. She's still witty and sarcastic. She's just opened herself up to other people, now.

Now here's my question: do you think my Asha is the "angry black woman" stereotype?

I can't think of any examples off the top of my head where this is shown nicely in media. If you do think that Asha is a caricature, please please tell me what could be improved! I really want to make sure I'm respectful of Asha's Amazigh heritage and to actually showcase parts of that if I can.

Sorry for the long read! TLDR; my Asha gets angry, but is she the angry black woman stereotype?

@annymation @oh-shtars @uva124 @your-ne1ghbor @spectator-zee @emillyverse @chillwildwave @rascalentertainments @mythartist21 @kstararts @ishadow246 @tumblingdownthefoxden @thisnameisnotspokenfor @dangerousflowerpanda @cocoapowderpictures

[sillygoofyqueer]

Caught up on losing hope and Four? You asshole (affectionate)?? You made me cry for several reasons?? (I’m only half exaggerating but tbh you got me pretty damn close) wwx being taken care of and getting emotional abt it?? Running away and having a panic attack??? HUALIAN CAMEO?!?? Tbh it’d be a little funny if they became consistent cameo characters who give advice to the disaster that is wangxian. Also you spoil me with all this good writing istg. Like, what else do I read?? It’s hard to find well written fics Four >:/! Also Jin ling crying over Wu Ming??? I was in my room yelling “you would help him escape but he doesn’t want you to because he thinks you’ll hate him!! :(!! (And you actually might…)”. Also jgy catching on?? Hello??? What’s he gonna do with that? Idk whether to hope he does nothing with it and brushes it off or that he’s an evil little asshole and uses it against both of them. I am a bit curious as to what Jiang cheng is going to think about all this. Same with Lan Xichen because in canon he denies it but he can’t really do that here because there’s PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. Or maybe he will deny it because jgy is a good liar. But yea. As per usual I wish I could give you more kudos and please remember to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF :/

Wrestling you into the biggest hug ever right now, aight?? BIGGEST hug ever. You can't cry, 'cause then I'll cry and I won't be able to work on Losing Hope 😨😨, and nobody wants that. Hey, there's so much going on, maybe Hualian do just randomly pop up throughout the fic and are like, "don't forget, communication is key!" or "always wear red if you want to look badass" and then just vanish, leaving everyone like "???" I'm going to think about this so much now... You are so sweet oh my golly gosh, PLEAASE THERE ARE OTHER FICS THAT ARE BETTER THAN MINE (I've been reading them instead of working on losing hope, but you can't prove that)- ((my current favourite is Grimoire)). You flatter me, now I'm violently sobbing. AGAIN. This really can't be good for me, I can't cry this much. Jin Ling just wants his Wu Ming to come back! He surely could have helped his friend escape, because he cares about his friend more than anything Xiao-Shushu could say about him! No matter what he had done, there has to be a reason for it, or else he would have scared Jin Ling off, right? I think the real question is, how could he recognise Wu Ming if he were to see him on the streets? I think that is one of the biggest fears for Jin Ling, and I can't WAIT to get into that. Jin Guangyao catching on about possible communication between Jin Ling and Wei Wuxian could not be a good thing. I wonder what on earth he could do with all of this information...nothing bad, right? He's too good for that, right? :] Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen are definitely in an interesting situation in all of this, because Jiang Cheng has no idea what's going on - why on earth is Jin Ling crying? He simply has to do something about this, he has to fucking find who has made his nephew cry and kill them chat to them about why they think it's a good idea to insult Jin Ling. My favourite thing about this AU (of sorts) is that while Lan Xichen does know that Lan Wangji is madly in love with Wei Wuxian (due to being told by his brother, they can talk about these things because ✨communication✨), he doesn't know HOW madly in love with Wei Wuxian his brother actually is, because there was no confrontation after the Nightless City Massacre. For all Lan Xichen knows, Lan Wangji has moved on from Wei Wuxian because he has no idea how down bad Lan Wangji is for this chaotic controversial man of the cultivation world. This is a little ramble away from what you actually pointed out, but I think it genuinely actually helps out with it. As you've said, there's physical evidence of how Wei Wuxian's been treated by Jin Guangyao and the Jin Clan. PLUS!! Lan Xichen in canon could be seen as biased AWAY from Wei Wuxian because of how he's treated his brother (this is just me rambling at this point), meaning he would be less likely to feel sympathy and want to help Wei Wuxian even for his brother. In this world, there isn't this bias away from Wei Wuxian! Could that help with convincing him of what Jin Guangyao has done? We'll damn well see, or my name isn't Four.

[bootyyysh4ker9000]

Hey I have seen that your requests are open!

So what about a rise Leo x reader in which the reader is the niece of Big Mama but like reader uses always a human disguise so the reaction of Leo of his crush being related to Big Mama! (+ If reader looks more like Undertale Muffet in the sense of more humanoid spider better)

Actually it would be cool if it was a one shot or HC with all the boys-

(plus if the reader can be fem or NB)

I might send you some more asks since I have a bunch of ideas so is okay if you don't do this one, only that I found it interesting.

Thank you- anon ✨

Hi omg I love this idea!!!! I'm gonna write it in the form of hcs with all the boys :)

Also yes please do!!! I want more requests for writing so I def won't mind!!

Rise!Turtles with an s/O who's related to big mama

Raph ❤️

this poor boy

he's smitten with you-

he thought you were one of April's human friends, and he was excited because you were so cute

but no. just wait

when you revealed to him (and the guys) that you were a mutant they were SO SURPRISED???

"WOAH YOU'RE A SPIDER!"

"yeah she kinda reminds me of big mama!"

"oh big mama? that's my aunt!"

"WHAT??"

they're a little suspicious to say the least

Ok on to the ACTUAL relationship hcs

is in love with your extra arms. give him shell scratches with your 6 ARMS

in love with you even more than before!!! hand in marriage, please??

he gets so relaxed around you, y'all never fight or anything

until,,, he told you about their quarrels with big mama

"you WHAT?" you shrieked at him.

"well I've been meaning to tell you it's just there was never really a good time-" Raph sunk into himself, feeling guilty that he never told his girlfriend about the incident about the web goo

"Honey you couldve asked me!" you took off your cloaking brooch, spinning a web in between your fingers"I can make that stuff too y'know."

donnie heard that and will now do favors in exchange for your,,, spider goo,,

one time you got free pizza for a month, because you have him some of it for the Oozequitoes

Raph feels bad so he asks the guys to stop getting involved with big mama

surprise, it happens anyways. while you're with them.

"my dearest y/n, what are you doing with the turtley-boos? I thought I told you to stay away."

"Ma, they're really cool- these people are my friends, can you please stop attacking them?"

yeah she tries to stop being mean. but when she finds out about raph,,, all hell breaks loose.

"how DARE you corrupt my baby?!"

"MA! stop!"

"I mean,, if you hurt her I will rip you limb from limb."

raph feels terrified.

don't even get me started on the love stink.

smells like chocolate and roses every time you come over

however, he does also have a lust stink so if you guys are gonna go that far,,, you might wanna leave

save your dignity girl

Leo ✩

he thinks you're SO COOL.

will 100% ask to ride on your back

if you say yes, he will cry with joy

if you say no, he will cry.

develops a crush on you when he sees you fighting some foot goons

they were about to attack him and you swooped in while taking off your brooch, looking like a superhero transforming in mid-air

he's in love, sorry.

y'all start dating?

hold him with your arms.

you have enough to hold one of his hands right? or give him a hug

SPIDER KISSES.

WITH YOUR WEB.

upside down, surprise him and give him a kiss

he won't be able to function

finding out you're related to bigmama though?

panic

he's a little more on her good side than the others- bit he's scared that she's going to take you away

what he was not expecting was this.

"you're DATING the turtley-boo? oh well, as long as you're happy"

WHAT????

she let's them both know that they're still gonna fight, big mama just won't kill them now.

overall? went better than expected.

still cautious though

Donnie💡

he just wants to study you at first

doesn't know a lot about Spider mutants(yokai in your words) and wants to figure out how it works.

literally you don't like him at all for a while sorry 💀

after you talked to him about his weird little...experiments, y'all become good friends

sitting in his lab, lending an,,,, extra hand HAHAHAHA

anyways

he's super appreciative of your help.

only really develops a crush when you give him some of ur 'spider ooze' because you knew he needed some

he's all "omg omg she gave me something without me having to ask 😭"

when he finds out you're related to big mama?

uhhh yeah no thanks

he doesn't really care but at the same time now he has to be careful cause like

he doesn't really feel like getting killed today

surprisingly Big mama isn't super mad, just annoyed.

"out of all the options you chose HIM???? ugh ok"

likes she's more grossed out than mad

when she finds out you've been giving him spider ooze? NOW she's mad.

"YOU'RE GIVING HIM AN ADVANTAGE OVER ME, THIS WILL DAMAGE MY REPUTATION!"

"MA PLEASE"

relationship wise donnie is really awkward at first

not into touching, but he will make an exception for you ONLY because you let him examine you

he only gets to study your spider-ness after y'all are dating

MIKEY 🎨

Crush at first sight.

human or yokai

he's just enamored by you

you guys become immediate besties!!!

spiders are very social creatures so him and you are together 24/7

he really starts crushing when you reveal you're a yokai

that spider fluff on your chest and cute little antennas?

man's is swooning

hugs. hugs hugs hugs.

he wants to stuff his face into your spider fluff and be held like a baby.

his brothers are the ones who help him confess

it's with a really really cheesy love letter

but when he finds out you're big mama's niece? cool!

he thinks thats awesome. now he has another parental figure

big mama likes him the most, so if you're genuinely serious about your relationship, she will be too.

"oh good for you my beautiful y/n! and... you too I guess."

big mama kinda approves? still fights em though she doesn't really care about that part.

Mikey is big on cuddles and kisses, so whether it's human or yokai form will change how you guys cuddle

yokai? you're big spoon.

human? he's big spoon.

kiss attacks in the middle of whatever you're doing, just because he feels like you deserve love.

will make you kandi and gifts 24/7

he loves you so much

smitten

a/n THIS WAS SO FUN AGHGH PLEASE KEEP REQUESTING!!!

you can tell who my fav Is

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 10

Chapter ten! Last chapter before the epilogue. Enjoy!! Full fic on AO3

Words: 1.1k

June 29th

Rhys came with me to the Rainbow today. It has been nerve-wracking if I put it lightly. It took me about an hour before I even could step a foot into the artist's quarter but Rhys was there, reassuring me and giving me the time I needed. I actually wanted to do this after work but Rhys took the day off for us both and we walked to the Rainbow. In my quest to ignore it the past years I never realized how close the quarter was to the lounge.

After I managed to actually walk into the Rainbow (I gripped Rhys's hand the whole time like my life depended on it) I got that sudden feeling of nostalgia. Seeing people carrying canvases and paints, even the street musicians who were in their element. It was such a weird mix of emotions, on one side I wanted to bolt in the other I felt at home there, like I belonged. I teared up just standing there, probably looking like an idiot, but Rhys wiped my tears away with the hand I wasn't squeezing.

We even ate lunch there, right beside a gallery. I haven't gone into the gallery but Rhys and I agreed that this would be the next step, for the next time.

I'm actually excited! It's so strange, tho. Having all these different emotions.

July 12th

Tonight I had the first nightmare that I was alone to deal with. Rhys had to work longer and Elain and Nesta were on a double date with Azriel and Cassian. They invited me, too, but I was so exhausted after therapy that I just fell into bed right after dinner. I assume that's also why I had nightmares again, a lot has come up. I wish someone had been there but I managed, somehow. I didn't throw up and I, fortunately, didn't have a panic attack either. That's good, it's something to celebrate. I really don't know if I should tell Rhys, though, because I know he's going to feel bad for not being there and I don't want him to feel bad. I have to do this alone, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I don't know, I'll think about it. He's not in his office later when I work, so there is enough time to debate this until I meet him in the afternoon.

Also, I've bought a new dress. It's not like the others I took from home, this one is much more revealing. Mom would hate it, so I know it's great. Rhys will love it.

July 13th

I couldn't even say hello before he asked me if I had nightmares again? Is it that obvious??

But, okay, but that's not what I'm going to write about today. Something happened. Something GREAT!!! Rhys and I had sex last night. For the first time. And the second. And the third. Okay, a lot of times and it was amazing. It was the best sex I ever had. Not that I'm surprised but also I'm a little surprised because I didn't expect that. It was like something you'd read in Nesta's smutty books. I can't stop thinking about it. About Rhys and the last night and well, that's bad because we will have a barbecue tonight with the whole family (Nesta, Elain, Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Rhys's mother and sister, Rhys and me) and apparently you can read all my emotions on my face. Fuck, I have to work on that. I will! I'll try while getting ready. I'm still at Rhys's place but he already had a dress ready for me so I won't have to stress about that. (not in a controlling way like, his mother made that dress. She's a seamstress and I feel really honored to wear her dress but nobody would blink an eye either if I would turn up in pajamas)

I feel like I'm walking on clouds! It's surreal. If someone told my 16 year old self that I am where I am now she would laugh. She wouldn't believe it at all. I barely can.

December 15th

A decision was made!

I'm quitting my job at Rhys's lounge and going to art school. I started painting again around august and I just can't stop. There is so much that I have to tell, to get out. Rhys and I spent a whole night talking about the future weeks ago and the decision was a hard one to make but I made it. I'm going to art school. I'm living my dream, the thing I've worked towards my whole life until we had to leave my hometown. It's happening and I made the decision all alone. Without Rhys (although I've talked his ear off about the pros and cons), without Nesta or Elain, without my therapist. It was my decision! Isn't this exciting? I'm standing on my own two feet again. Baby steps evolved into quite big steps. I can't say how light I feel these days. I can paint it but words can't even begin to describe my feelings. I still have rough patches, especially now that it nears one year since my abduction but I'll get through this. I'm not alone. I'm not there anymore, I am safe now. And I am going to art school! Oh my god!

No words left, just happy.

January 1st

If you like a thing you should put a ring on it!

Okay, well, that's not the exact lyrics. I had to modify it a tiny little bit to fit my situation. Our situation. Rhys and my situation. Well, happy new year! I'm engaged! We are engaged! There will be a wedding. Between me and Rhys. Rhys and I. Engaged. Soon to be married. I'd say I believe I'm dreaming but I am not, I am looking at the ring as we speak. It's a family heirloom, Rhys told me. It's been through generations. The ring is also SO beautiful. It's a sapphire and in is etched with a six pointed star. The band of the ring is twisted of silver and gold. Never in my life have I seen something that beautiful. Sometimes, when the light falls in it in the right way, it looks like there is a star inside the stone.

Which actually brings me to the proposal. It wasn't something big, it was just me and Rhys and we went stargazing. I tried to find a constellation he had pointed at and when I turned around he was on his knee (his bad one, I basically had to pull him up), asking me to become his wife. Of course I cried. Nothing could beat this proposal.

It's Rhys and me. For the rest of our lives.

I'm thanking the stars everyday

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Look After You | For As Long As You Need

What about a spidey fic? I love how you write those. Maybe Peter’s feeling insecure and the Avengers try to help? Idk, it doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s spidey. – anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: injury, bedrest, self-esteem issues, panic attacks

Pairings: none

Word Count: 2225

Recovery is hard.

Not just because broken ribs always suck and even his healing factor has its limits, not just because he's cooped up on bedrest when all he wants to do is crawl on the ceiling and make all of this go away, but because he's still here. In the Avengers' compound and he's not sure what the hell he's supposed to be doing.

"Resting," Yelena says helpfully when he mumbles as much, putting down her crochet project she's been fiddling with on and off for the last few weeks, "you got hurt, Baby Spider, now you get better."

"But I don't just want to lie here! I can still do things!"

"Things that don't involve you challenging Barton to another round of trick shots in the archery range?" She doesn't even look ashamed when he gawks at her. "Barton wants you to get better too, you know. That way he doesn't have to feel bad about beating you soundly."

"He wouldn't."

"Wouldn't what, beat you soundly or wouldn't feel bad about it?"

"Aunt Spider—" Peter is not whining, he is making his voice sound like this on purpose because his ribs hurt— "I don't just want to lie around in bed all day!"

"You could do your homework."

"I've already done all my homework!"

"You could catch up on studying for your tests."

"I don't need to study for those anymore, I basically have all the practice questions memorized. Besides, I'm not supposed to do that for more than four hours a day anymore."

"Oh? Why is that?" He mumbles something under his breath. "What was that?"

"…maybe I stayed up too late and passed out with all of my books."

"Is that all?"

"And spilled coffee and energy drinks everywhere."

"You really aren't helping me beat the rumors that you're my kid," Mr. Stark says, startling Peter while Yelena snickers. He comes into the room and sits on the edge of the bed, ruffling his hair with a comfortable fondness that makes Peter's chest hurt for a different reason. "And that does mean I'll sick DUM-E and U in here to make sure you stay in bed."

"But Mr. Stark—"

"Nope! No buts." He holds up a finger. "Pepper's enforced the no-work-on-bedrest rule enough times that I'm not about to help you break it."

Peter is not pouting, his bottom lip is just bigger than his top one. Exclusively right now. Right now is when that's true. Mr. Stark just sighs and ruffles his hair again.

"Cheer up, kid. We'll order your favorite junk food and binge-watch some awful action movies tonight, okay?"

"Okay, Mr. Stark."

"There's my favorite young adult." He stands, wagging a finger at Yelena too. "You still good for guard duty?"

"That's what I'm here for."

It's probably a joke. It's supposed to be a joke. He's known Mr. Stark and Yelena long enough to know when they're joking. This is, in all likelihood, just a joke at his expense and they're not actually serious about guarding him like he's a prisoner or someone dangerous where they can't afford to have him escape and cause trouble.

So why does Peter feel like he's been shot and stabbed all over again?

He messed up really badly on the last mission. They said they weren't mad, but not being mad didn't mean weren't disappointed and everyone knows that's worse. Maybe that's why they're guarding him. There's been someone in his room pretty much at all hours and he knows he's being watched on the cameras too. Is he being guarded? He's definitely being guarded, and that means they still don't trust him.

Is it because he's so young? Crying all over Yelena and trying to be strong when really all he did was reveal how scared he was and how young—what sort of person couldn't deal with a rightly-earned scolding? Is he really so immature that he can't take something so simple as being told he'd messed up when he knew he did? That probably has something to do with it; they'd seen how truly childish he was when he tried to 'bravely' insist that he's ready to be yelled at—why had he jumped right to the conclusion that he was going to be yelled at? Did he think they were so bad that they'd just go straight to yelling? No questions for his perspective? No consideration for his side of the story? No, he'd just assumed they'd be mad and yell at him and he'd gotten himself all worked up for nothing.

"Peter? Baby Spider?"

He blinks. Oh. He's started crying again. That's embarrassing. He blinks a few more times to clear his vision and sees Yelena staring at him with open concern. He tries to mumble something along the lines of—well, he hadn't actually gotten far enough to decide what it was he was going to say, but instead of words coming out, he just sniffles. She scoots a bit closer, reaching out to check something on the bedside table, and then cards her fingers through his hair. The light tingling sensation feels really good, and it just makes him cry harder.

"Shh, shh, Baby Spider," she's whispering, "what's wrong? Talk to me, tell me what's making you cry."

"'M sorry—"

"No apologies, Baby Spider, remember? I will not abandon you to pain."

And just that, just that memory of all of them being so worried for him, all of them clustered around that hospital bed, is enough to make him feel even worse. Because what right does he have to assume the worst of them? They're the fucking Avengers, who is he to think badly of them?

"Hey, stay with me." The hand in his hair pushes it back from his face. "Stay with me, look at me, that's it—yes, look at me. Peter? Are you here with me?"

"Y-yeah, Aunt Spider, I'm—I'm here."

"That's good. Can you stay with me this time? Can we try?" He nods again. "Good. Now, let's try this again: what's making you cry, Baby Spider?"

He sniffles, trying to focus on her question and not the roiling guilt in his gut or the soft touch of her fingers against his still-tender scalp. "I just want to be able to do things."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? But you didn't do anything wrong!"

"Sympathy, Baby Spider, not remorse." She takes the half-finished crochet animal and boops his nose with its nose. "I've been on bedrest before, it's not fun."

"It's not."

"That's why I'm here to keep you company, hm? So that our Baby Spider doesn't go insane while he can't climb on all the walls and scare us at two in the morning."

"I don't scare you," he replies mulishly, "just Mr. Stark."

"And it's wonderful and I will be uploading that video to YouTube once it gets long enough."

He snorts. "Good luck."

"Thank you." She nudges his cheek this time. "Are you feeling any better? Do you need anything?"

"Will you tell me another story, Aunt Spider?"

"Of course I will."

***

Yelena has to leave before movie night, which means someone else swaps out for guard duty. He hopes it'll be Dr. Banner, maybe he can convince him to talk about work even if they don't actually do anything. Or maybe Rhodey, because then he can just hear all the stories about Mr. Stark when he was younger and getting into trouble.

He doesn't get those. No, instead Captain Rogers comes in with that soft smile and sits down in the chair with a sketchbook and Peter is terrified.

Not because he thinks Captain Rogers would hurt him, no, but because Captain Rogers is Captain Fucking America and he's already fucked up enough in front of him that he probably thinks Peter's awful and too young and too immature and the fact that he's assuming the worst of him right now is only proving him right and he's going to freak the hell out and—

"Hey, hey, sweetheart, look at me."

There's a warm hand on his face. There's another warm hand on his chest. There's a soft voice in his ear. He's gasping and sobbing. When did that happen?

"Eyes on me, Peter," Captain Rogers is saying, and he really should be trying to listen, "that's it, just like that, eyes on me."

"'M here, I'm sorry, I'm here."

"Shh, shh, it's okay, sweetheart." Oh, god, not the pet names. "You're doing so well. Just keep breathing and keep your eyes on me, okay? Just look at me."

He keeps talking, keeps talking in that really low comforting voice that all superheroes need to have for when they talk to civilians, and Peter's not sure why that's twisting in his gut the same way the panic was earlier, but now his stomach is aching and he thinks he must mumble something about it because then one of his big warm hands slides down and he's about to protest but he rubs a soft, slow circle into the tender skin and it shuts him right up. It's just like him: gentle but insistent, and Peter's crying like a baby again because he's being so nice and Peter's being so mean to him.

"You're not being mean to me, sweetheart," he soothes, looking so distraught that Peter thinks he's being bad, "you're just crying. That's okay."

"N-no, I'm—I keep thinking you're—that I'm—"

"That you're what," he prompts gently when Peter shakes his head furiously, refusing to finish his sentence, "that you're what, Peter?"

"It's nothing."

"It's made you panic and hurt," comes the soft correction, "that's not nothing."

"It's stupid."

There's a pause, during which Peter's brain does its best to panic again, but then Captain Rogers is turning his face toward his with a terribly soft look on his face and that hand on his stomach is still soothing away the fear before it has time to form and he's going to cry all over both of them again.

"I know you're scared," he murmurs, "I know you're hurt. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to be mad at you, I'm not going to kick you out of here or anything like that. You're one of us, kid, and we care about you. Not just because you're an incredible hero, but because you're a good kid. You're our good kid, no matter how much Tony and Nat and Yelena try to monopolize you. You're our Peter Parker, and we're here for you. Not just as Spider-Man, but for you."

…well, fuck.

"Is that it?" His face falls when Peter just nods frantically. "Oh, kid…I can't hug you right now, but—no, okay, we're gonna make this work. Come here, lift your head up…"

He slides one arm under Peter's head and shoulders, leaning over the bed and bringing him into a slightly awkward cuddle, but it's still a cuddle and Peter's crying all over again because Captain Rogers is trying to cuddle him because he's upset.

"Shh, shh, it's okay," he's whispering, "I'm right here, sweetheart, everything's gonna be okay."

"What did you do to my Baby Spider?"

"Shh, it's just Nat, it's okay." He turns over his shoulder. "I'm giving him a hug because he's scared and upset, if that's alright with you."

"Why is my Baby Spider upset?" She comes around to the other side of the bed, letting out a quiet noise and wiping a tear from his cheek. "What did Steve do?"

"N-nothing, nothing, he didn't do anything wrong, please—"

"Now look what you've done," Captain Rogers says, but he's still speaking softly, like it's just a joke, and he's pulled in for a kiss on the forehead, "you're making him more upset."

"Oh, Baby Spider, it's okay, we're just playing. You're okay, you're okay…" She picks up his hand and kisses his knuckles. "What's got you all upset today?"

"Jus' being stupid."

"No," Captain Rogers corrects, still soft, still gentle, "try again, sweetheart."

The lump in his throat won't go away. "'M scared that you're gonna—that 'm gonna lose this."

"Lose what, Baby Spider? Us taking care of you? Us caring about you?" How does she do that? "Oh, Peter, no. You're stuck with us forever."

"You don't have to threaten him, Nat."

"Is that what you think my threats sound like, Rogers?"

Peter laughs. It's more of a sob than a laugh and he's definitely still crying, but it is a laugh. And he almost wants to laugh again at how quickly the two of them melt. Captain Rogers keeps rubbing his aching stomach and Ms. Romanoff starts playing with his hair again and his eyes get heavy before he can even think about it too much. "We still—'re we still movie night?"

"Yeah, sweetheart, we're still on for movie night. You gotta stay awake long enough to tell Tony what you want for dinner, though."

"FRIDAY knows."

"Oh, she does, does she?"

"Peter has already informed Mr. Stark that the Number 12 meal has been requested."

"How many of those do you two have?"

"…'bout 30 I think?"

"Oh, Baby Spider, don't ever change."

[corner-stories]

6 pokkopiku

June Prompts 🌼

6. Tattoo high school au

Their high school is abuzz in early June. While seniors fret over what they'll do with their lives for the foreseeable future, every other student frets over having to be here for at least another year.

Being a junior, Pieck is somewhere in the middle. Her mind is only partially on college prospects — specifically, how many essays she'll have to write about how she faced adversity, but in a way that doesn't scream "please let me in, I've told the story of my dead mother a thousand times, let her rest."

She had been warned that her senior year would go by quickly, making her cautious as to what she does with her school time now. But at this one particular moment, one where she is not plagued with the panic of finally entering the real world, a sense of ease permeates her every fiber.

For now she relaxes on the bleachers, random noises from the football field filling the atmosphere. Porco is by her side, letting her rest her head on his lap as the afternoon goes on.

They do this often, taking time out of their free periods to reconvene somewhere on-campus. It's usually the library, where Porco can bother her while she studies, but with weather getting warmer they've been opting to meet outdoors more often.

As Pieck lies back and Porco watches the football team trip over themselves, her eyes are focused on him. Despite the sun shining in her face she manages to glance upon his arm, noticing something unfamiliar on his skin.

Pieck takes Porco's arm and rolls his sleeve back, exposing what appears to be marker ink on his wrist.

"What the hell is on your arm?" Pieck asks, running her thumb over a sharpie doodle of a dagger.

Porco rolls his eyes but doesn't pull away. "Yeah, I got really bored in biology."

Pieck lets out a chuckle before sitting up. She stretches a bit from her power nap, then adjusts her position on the bench so that she's perched beside her best friend.

"Ever think of getting one for real?" she asks. There is a playful quality to her voice.

"Probably," Porco shrugs. "Once I turn eighteen and my parents can't tell me no." He adjusts his sleeve so that his 'tattoo' is covered up, but the way the fabric shifts on his arm reveals that a dagger isn't the only thing he doodled on himself. Though the smiley face doesn't really compliment the knife that well.

Pieck hums. Personally, she really wants to be around on the off-chance that Porco goes through on his words. Considering how Mrs. Galliard nearly had a heart attack when Porco willingly got his fuckboy haircut, Pieck can only imagine the drama that would ensue if he revealed some sick ink.

"You'd look good with some tats," Pieck remarks. She eyes his arm again and imagines some elaborate artwork painted onto his sleeve.

"Oh yeah?" Porco asks, raising an eyebrow. "What kind?

She shrugs, then playfully reaches to the small of his back. She tugs at the fabric of his shirt, revealing the skin above the waistband of his pants.

"Oh... I'm thinking maybe a tramp stamp back here-"

Porco is quick to swat her hand away, which he only ever does when she's telling a few too many dumb jokes, which is often.

"Real helpful, Pieck," he scoffs bitterly. "Real helpful."

[apupp3tw0-strings]

Reflections

Date: October 27th, 2131

Oh wowzers, it's been a hot sec since my last one of these, huh? I've mostly been planning Halloween costumes with my friends and stuff and continuing trying to get the Darkners from the Attic Dark World.

But um, I can talk about that later. What I wanted to write about here is... well I guess a few things.

I never finished talking about what happened in the Attic Dark World. I guess there's not a whole lot more to mention. We fought the Magician and Priestess, convinced Magician to stop fighting with got Priestess to call off the battle and the Broadway and Remie told them about Castle Town I guess.

Meanwhile CK and I went to go close the Fountain.

I never thought a geyser of darkness could feel so colorful. So... wonderful and fascinating. It was mesmerizing almost.

... CK said stuff as we approached the Fountain. I don't remember what. I think something about all this being... important. Like it wasn't just an accident we fell into the school closet that first time. Or that we met Spamton and Jevil. Or that we discovered a Dark World in my attic... Maybe he's got a point. Things can be important while still being accidents.

I don't really know how to process how the Dark Fountain got sealed. First, I felt my body move forward without me. But... not the string like pull from the players. Something else. More like an urge. ... it reminded me of the darkness calling me.

After that, I felt a weight lifted from my chest as the Soul rose in front of me. Not my soul. The Soul. That... thing that's currently in a jar in my closet. ... I don't think I can get rid of it if I tried. Something tells me... it'll come back eventually.

It felt like the Soul, that entity, was glowing. Glowing deep, bright red as the Fountain stood still. Before everything went white.

A lot of things after that were a blur. The Fountain was closed, but when I woke up... I still felt that feeling in my chest. The Soul was still there. It was supposed to be over, wasn't it? Why was the Soul still there? ... It remained there for hours the fountain was closed.

At some point during it, Papa offered to drive CK, Kris, and Jevil home, and pulled them away, leaving me alone with Kris. After everyone else had left, they asked me something like...

"Hey, Chicago. You wonder what they're all doing about right now?" And before the askers, players, whatever was controlling that Soul could answer, they sat down and beckoned me over to to the same. "Why don't we sit down and imagine what they're talking about right now, hmm?"

... For the first time since this all started. My mind felt silent. I was able to control my body as I went to sit down. The weight in my chest was gone...

"Hey, Chicago? Can you hear me? I think they should be gone now." I looked over to Kris. They seemed so calm, so collected. I felt on the verge of a panic attack as I slowly nodded. "That's good. Okay, I need you to remain calm, alright?"

"H-h-how?" I could feel my body trembling. How was I supposed to remain calm in this scenario? My body was just possessed!

"I know it's difficult, and I'm severely sorry that this had to happen, especially to you but..." Kris paused for a moment before looking up at me, "You're now the one in possession of the Soul now, making you the new Vessel."

"The... what?"

"You know how I mentioned my journey before? We'll what I left out of that whole ordeal was during that all... I was possessed, just as you are now."

"Does that mean...? When Jevil mentioned your destiny...?"

"Being the Vessel for the Askers. Originally I thought I wanted someone else to control my life but... I never signed up for all this." Kris furrowed their brow as they looked down. "Never signed up for this fantasy adventure, never signed up the Dark Worlds... Never signed up to be just some pawn in some twisted god's chess game. ... As soon as I realized that's all I was, I tried to severe the connection."

"... And were you able to?"

"Only ever temporarily. Apparently you need a soul to live, and even if it wasn't originally mine, whatever happened to my original Soul, it must've took its place. I was able to learn to control and live with it though. Take control of my body and actions when I needed to."

"Huh." I took a second to process all of that. To think something so mortifying could be controlled, tamed even? To control it instead of letting it control me? "W-wait! But if I have it now, does that mean your gonna die!?"

"Nope." Kris answered nonchalantly before summoning something out of their chest. A human soul, but not like the red soul I was used to them possessing... The Soul I was now in possession of. The soul Kris had summoned was a light blue or cyan color, not too different in color from Puncle Sans's magic. A soul of Patience rather than Determination. "Turns out this little guy came back home after that parasite was finally gone. Or maybe it never left, and was just buried deep down." They returned the soul back to their chest before turning back to me. "Either way, without the Soul you have, I can't seal Dark Fountains, and there's no use trying to give it back to me."

"Why not?"

"I've already got a sense that it's linked to you now. It'll just return back to you." Kris sighed, "Like it or not, looks like you've been chosen to finish the job I left incomplete. I'm... incredibly sorry."

"B-but I don't want to be a part of some destiny! It's bad enough with some... THING controlling me, but I don't want to just be some puppet dragged along by the string of fate!"

"You won't be. I'm... I'm going to try and figure out some way to fix this whole mess and get you out of this, okay? But for now, you'll just have to trust me and play along. If whoever's the chess master in this game figures out about me tampering with their plans again... We'll who knows what could happen."

It was at this point, I heard the beating in my chest return and that familiar weight as my body seized up again.

"And that's why it's very important you-"

"YO KRIS! YOU COMING?" CK had come back to see why Kris was taking so long, and with him came the Askers.

Kris called back to CK to let him know they were coming as they got up. As they were one their way out, they quickly glanced at me before rotating their hands backwards around each other, brushing against their chest. The sign for "Calm". It wasn't the American Sign version Aunt Arial had taught me, but I still knew it from one of the times Kris was trying to calm me down during a panic attack from sensory over loud during a family reunion. It was a signal.

They were telling me it was important I stayed calm.

To Be Continued...

[lolsonic-idk-man]

Talk to Me: Chapter 4

Chap1, Chap2, Chap3, Chap5, Chap6

I was writing chapter 4 of Talk to Me yesterday and it was over 6000 words there was still a lot more I wanted to write so I cut it, and now chapter 4 is done and just under 4000 words and chapter 5 is halfway done.

Anyway, there is now going to be 6 in total chapters unless I manage to do something else...

I'm sorry IT TOOK SO LONG! (@sfdsds)

It was nothing large this year, just your average raid with a few more people added to the mix. Which was a good thing considering Dream's mental state. Nightmare had told his men to keep the rest of the Stars busy as he attempted to speak with Dream. 

He had also pulled some of the strings he had on some AUs that used him for protection or supplies. It was at times like this that Nightmare was glad that he had allowed for trade between some of the more negative AUs, they owed him to some extent and they all knew it.

The reason he had to ask them to fulfill their debt today was because everyone in the Omega Timeline knew Nightmare always planned something larger on the 21st of December, (it being their birthday after all.) So they prepped their own forces to defend, gathering as many as were willing to volunteer, which was a lot.

So it was best if Nightmare had his own army.

The AU they would attack was a fairly close copy to the original that leaned into the more positive side of the spectrum, perfect for acting like he was trying to do damage. It wouldn't really though, Error would probably get to the AU soon after, and it would be like nothing happened.

Nonetheless, the Stars showed up shortly after they started.

His men quickly took to making sure Blue and whoever else was working with the Stars that day were busy, and it seemed like Ink and Error decided it was better to watch today. Although fairly ironic. You'd think at least the Protector would join.

Regardless, Nightmare had managed to engage Dream in a timely manner. And Dream had not kid. His movements were slowed, so much so that Nightmare would more often than not have to miss him purposely. Which in turn made it harder than it should have been to herd him into a more secluded area, but nonetheless Nightmare had done it.

By the time they got to an open area in the Snowdin forest, not a single word had been spoken between the two, any of the forced glow in Dream's eye-lights had disappeared and was replaced with a stare that begged Nightmare to end it.

Nightmare let his tentacles return to his back as Dream struggled to hold his bow with his dwindling will and stared at his brother.

" I would like to speak with you Dream. "

Confusion seeped into his eye-lights as he tried to keep them trained on Nightmare. " What? "

Nightmare fixed his poster, " I, would like to speak with you Dream, and properly figure some things out. " Dream merely continued to stare but with the addition of anxiety. " More specifically about what has happened in that little apartment of yours. "

His eye-lights disappeared at the menchen. " How did you- what does it matter? "

" I've heard a multitude of things over the past few weeks, " His brother's arms drop. " And I would like to… start apologizing, for… the many things I've done. "

His bow dropped into the snow and he started to laugh. " You're sorry!? WHY!? Why would you be sorry? Do you want to get my hopes up just so that you can pour water on it? I'm sorry to tell you but I don't think that will work if you haven't noticed I'm at my end. " His arms slowly wrapped around him as he started to tremble, crooked smile still there. " You've been watching, I'm sure you know I'm giving up, so do whatever you want! Kill me, trap me in an overly negative AU, do whatever! I won't fight it. " Dream fell to the ground, curled into a ball, and weakly muttered. " Do whatever. "

Nightmare did this.

" I wish to speak with you. I wish to speak about your side of the story, what's going through your skull, voluntarily, not because you're having a panic attack and muttering it aloud. "

Dream barely looked over his arms and stared Nightmare down with dead eye-lights before sighing, " Fine, my side. My side was me being a quivering fool by listening and helping the villagers even after I saw them hurt him. "

Dream couldn't even say his name.

" I couldn't do my damned job and because of it he's gone and our AU is dead. "

" You were scared. "

" I shouldn't have been. "

" We were children. "

" And I was the Guardian of Positivity. "

" That was a role that was never meant for a child. "

" Yet it was given to one. "

" It doesn't change the fact that a child never should have had the responsibility. "

" WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING ME!? " Dream snapped. " I failed! It was my fault! What's with the sudden change? For seven years you tell me how it was my fault, and now it's not!? And as if you'd just forgive me! So what do you want? What do you want if you don't want me dead? "

A moment of silence.

" I want to make a truce, I want to try and rebuild the bridge I burned so many years ago, I wish to ask for forgiveness, but I do not expect any of it. For that is up to you. "

" Why should I trust you? Why should I trust anyone? Everything I've ever been told in our old AU was a lie. The villagers lied about nearly everything, he lied to me. Even today people use me. Some of the Omega Timeline's council try to get me to do their shit for them, even some of the people from the Omega Timeline! And I couldn't even realize it until Cross Brought it up! " His arms flung above his head to exaggerate the sentence. " I've been used from the start and I'm still being used now, and I can't tell if I am myself. So if I can't even trust myself why in the world should I trust you? "

" Well, you seem to already trust my word about your brother being gone. "

" Sort of hard not to when presented with such compelling evidence. "

" What if I forged it? "

" Then I am more naive than I thought. "

" And if I invited you to my castle for a nicer setting for this conversation would you? "

Dream takes a glimpse of the area and himself, " With where I am I do not see why not. "

Nightmare nodded and turned to open a portal, Dream was still, " Are you coming? "

Without a word, his brother stood up and walked through the tare in reality, not hesitating in the slightest.

Nightmare's tentacles dragged in the snow as he walked after Dream.

On the opposite side of the portal was a room made of the same stone as the rest of his palace, dimly lit by torches and the fireplace. The room had a wide range of furniture, from the bean bag Error demanded for his visits, the silk couch that his goop had stained more times than he was willing to admit, the RGB TV Killer begged for, and a coffee table made with bulletproof glass, even then it was replaced once a week.

Dream stood a few feet ahead of Nightmare, dumbfounded.

" Yes, I'm aware I should never let my man decorate again. " The negative Gaurdian groaned. " But on other matters, I need to call back my man. Sit wherever you desire, except the bean bag, Error will kill me if I let anyone else touch it. "

His brother gave a small nod but no move to sit down. With a sigh, Nightmare went to call the retreat.

After a little more than an hour of sorting monsters into their appropriate AUs and drilling into Killer's skull that he was not allowed to bother Dream, he returned to where said skeleton was radiating anxiety from the middle of the couch.

To be honest anyone could tell just by his body language, and the fact that Nightmare could sense it made it even more prominent. Which was odd. Normally Nightmare couldn't sense how Dream was feeling due to his positive aura hiding his feelings. Making the situation worrying.

Nightmare pushed him to this point.

" Dream. " the golden guardian jolted, turning to face his brother.

" Y- yes? " He stuttered.

In complete honesty, the dark guardian did not know what he was supposed to do. Dream was now in his place, his castle, his home, sitting on his couch as a guest instead of standing in a field of dust and blood prepared to fight with his life, and for the lives of the ones still standing.

How Nightmare had failed to realize how awkward this would be was astonishing. " I would assume you would like a tour of the palace? Or perhaps you would like some food to replenish yourself? " He gestured to the large doors in the room.

Hesitating, Dream nodded.

Understanding that his brother also had no idea what to do in the situation. He returned the action, pulled out his phone, and sent Horror a text requesting some sort of treat be set up in the dining room for when they arrived.

Placing his phone back in his inventory he turned his gaze to Dream once more, who was now standing a few feet away from him, and seemed to think the floor was the most interesting thing in the world.

Excepting the fact that there was not going to be a conversation Nightmare started the tour. " I suppose the best place to start would be here, wouldn't it? We are in the north wing, the area of the place made for more calm recreation. I am sure you've figured out this is the living room, although rarely used by anyone other than me. Other areas such as the library and kitchen will be found here as well. "

With that being said Nightmare led Dream out of the room, down a few halls, naming every meaning full room, and into the west wing, which had turned into an area his men used to train and do anything they wanted without breaking any valuable. Guests were not allowed to go there if they wanted to live because Nightmare's gang did not watch out for anyone when training.

Dream remained soundless.

The South wing was compressed of storage and where more serious business was taken care of.

" What sort of ' business '" Dream's vow of silence ended.

" How do you think I filled my castle furnishing? " He turned to face the golden guardian. " I run an extensive trading system between some of the more negative AUs. It serves me well and was fairly good at boosting positivity when it was needed during your absence. "

" Ah. " Dream shrunk.

Perhaps that last part was unnecessary. Regardless the tour continued.

The last place for the tour was the East Wing, the East Wing was where the sleeping quarters were. Nightmare pointed to where all of his subordinate's rooms were, his own, and where Dream's room would be.

Although once shown his room it was apparent he wanted to disappear inside it, alas, Horror had already prepared food, and Nightmare knew better than to leave it untouched.

" Horror made food for your visit, you can hide after you've eaten. You need to get something down your hatch anyway. "

After deflating a little and a realization of some sort, (most likely that he hadn't eaten for a while now.) he nodded and allowed Nightmare to lead him to the dining room.

The walk was no different than the rest of the time they had had together, the only sound heard was the sound of their footsteps.

Apon arrival the first thing they saw was (Instead of food) Horror with a tray above his head and the gremlin Killer, trying to worm his way out of Horror's other arm.

" Come on! I'm just gonna have one! Is that really that bad? " He wined as he attempted to escape his captor's arm.

" Nightmare wanted them for Dream. You can have whatever is left, " the large skeleton granted.

" Booooooo! " Horror adjusted his hold on Killer and threw him over the table. " ACK- "

The plater was placed by the head of the table, " They're here anyway, ya won't have to wait long. "

" Oh, HEY BOSS! " Killer shouted pulling himself off the ground and waving. " and Dream. "

Not amused by the spectacle the dark guardian massaged the bridge of his nasal cavity, took his place at the head of the table, pulled out Killer's seat with his tentacles, and motioned for Dream to take it.

The chair's normal seater let out a loud offended gasp, stopping Dream from even considering taking a seat. " Boss! You wouldn't! "

" But I have, Dream, you may seat yourself, " He motioned to the chair again.

The confused and anxiety-filled guardian took a second trying to register the situation as Killer grumbled on his way to the seat on the other side. A moment longer before he quickly shuffled to the chosen seat.

With all of the dramatics out of the way Nightmare- " Horror please explain to me why there are ten bags of chips on a silver platter. "

" Had ta make sure there was flavor Dream would like, " The giant released a deep chuckle.

Holding a groan, " You couldn't have made anything… " What was a good way to put it? " with more effort? "

" Nah, I'm workin' on dinner. Couldn't waste too much time on a snack. "

The groan had its freedom, " Very well, I expect something of exceptional quality tonight Horror. "

" Nothing less boss, " Really Horror. 'Nothing less,' Nightmare ought to strangle him. He couldn't though, Horror had already made his way out of the dining hall.

Dream had taken to looking at the chips and back to Nightmare, playing a game of ping pong with his eye-lights. A game that would only end when he got an answer of whether or not he could eat the chips.

With a sigh, the dark guardian nodded and messaged the rige of his nasal cavity.

Sweat formed on his twin's skull as he slowly reached past the Doritos for the classic lays, continuing to stare Nightmare down as if he'd change his mind at any given moment.

" Just take a damned chip bag. " Killer whines from his board form. " Boss doesn't bite. Plus I want some chiiiips! "

" Killer! " A glare threatening his removal from his boss and from Dream a look that desperately wants to say something about 'Boss doesn't bite.'

As Killer grumbled his defeat and leaned back into his chair with his arms crossed, Dream grabbed a bag and took to quietly eating it.

Not much more happened in that evening, Killer ran off with the entire plater when Dream did not reach for another bag of chips. When it was offered that Dream gets comfortable with his room he eagerly agreed. So Nightmare left him to be alone till dinner. However, feeling Dream's anxiety spike led to a change of plans. Nightmare was not about to force his brother to join them, he wanted him to feel comfortable, and have a choice in his endeavors here, or when he wanted to leave. So the offer that Horror or someone else brought a surviving of dinner to him was made, and with it, Dream's anxiety withered.

The following days happened the same. Dream would stay in his room, and someone would bring him food, sometimes attempting a conversation, only to be met with the silence of a room that felt empty or if they were lucky a hum.

It was exceptionally worrying.

The matter only became worse with how he could feel Dream's anxiety rise over time.

So a plan to get Dream out and about or just to help soothe him was devised.

Shortly after breakfast had been served, and Dream ate in his room once more, Nightmare knocked on his door and announced, " I hoped that you would join us this morning, and as you didn't I've decided we're going furniture shopping. "

A few beats of silence before the door opened slightly revealing dimly lit yellow eye-lights and a very confused stare. " What? "

" You need to get out and get some form of positivity, and with how much Ink drones on about nearly everything, I know fully well that this room is not your usual style nor the most comforting to you. Seeing as you do not plan to leave I figure your room ought to be set up for your comfort. "

A few blinks and silence was all Nightmare was met with.

" Get ready we will be leaving in 30 minutes, " With that, he nodded, walked away, and did his best to ignore Dream's confused panic.

Once the time had passed Nightmare made his presence known to Dream, before opening the door regardless if he answered or not.

Inside the golden guardian sat on his bed twitling his thumbs, wearing the outfit he wore for battle, and probably other formalities required of him by the Omega Timeline. Unexpected to say the least. Nightmare would have expected him to take one of the more casual options his boys collected for him. He supposed it was better than the white t-shirt and short shorts Dream had taken to wearing.

" Good to see that you did more than mope in your room. " Dream looked like he wanted to say something about the snarky greeting, but then realized that he had been moping in his room for the past four days. " Thought so, but let us be on our way. "

Walking through the newly formed portal and making sure Dream actually followed, they arrived in an odd AU, to say the least.

Nightmare deemed himself Lucky to have even found this AU. Its entire concept is practically the same as the original AU, just with an obsession with furniture. When Nightmare had found it it had been tilted towards the negative side of the spectrum because the humans of their world much longer than most AUs to fall into the underground, and monsters had started to lose hope of escape.

Though, through Nightmare's trading system they made it till the human fell and got them to the surface, and shockingly let them stay without any RESETS. It truly is an odd AU. But it served its purpose.

Stepping out of his portal and into an alleyway only to make sure one who did not know him did not see him come through.

He quickly made his way into the streets of an open mall-like area, mainly full of shops that had different styles of furniture, and had quite a number of Humans and monsters wandering the lots.

Dream stood close behind Nightmare trying to figure out what sort of AU this was. " Uh, where are we? "

" I'm unsure of its name, " – it's as if the creator of it made it quick just for a single quick plot point. – " But it is the reason my castle is well furnished. "

Dream stared a bit bewildered at Nightmare, " Didn't Ink make your place? "

Ah, it seemed Ink had told Dream how he had made Nightmare's home. " Indeed, but I had to manage him as he made it so that it wouldn't turn into whatever monstrosity he had planned. So you think I would let him furnish the place as well? "

" I won't deny Ink is a bit… hectic? " he looked away and sweat formed on his skull as he tried to make Ink sound like less than a sugar-high child who was given expensive art supplies and permission to do whatever he wanted with them, yes that includes eating it.

" Indeed, and from what he's told me, you took to, erm, ' Cottagecore ' for your choices in decor. " Nightmare had to look into that term to figure out what on earth Ink was talking about.

" Yes, that is how Ink described my house to me… " His eye-lights avoided contact with Nightamre's as he stood stiff.

Not wanting to live in the silence that followed Nightmare continued to the story that he had chosen for the trip, thankful that he didn't have to drag Dream, as he heard the clop of Dream's boots trying to catch up to him shortly after he walked away.

The shop Nightmare had set his eye-light apon was just up an escalator and past three other shops, so the walk should have been quick.

That didn't stop the monsters who recognized The Guardian of Negativity from stopping them to giving thanks or asking questions about Dream who had slipped his smiling mask on again, trying desperately to act like he was fine.

After a few minutes of shoving through the monsters, the few humans who got swept in by the crowd or were curious to know what the gathering was about, answered the same question " Why are you here with Dream? " who knows how many times, they finally made it to their goal.

  Looking through one of the windows from the shop he could see a small dining room set up centered around a soft desaturated green, white, and light brown with a plastic vine plant of some sort draped over the edge of the table. The other window had a living room scene the main colors being nearly the same. The only difference is the soft desaturated yellow instead of the green.

Inside the shop the walls were lined with transparent pictures of different furniture one could purchase, separated by actual furnishing of varying designs.

Nightmare went to convey how large of a purchase he would be making to the monster at the counter after assuring his brother he could choose whatever he wanted.

He was not kidding when he said it would be a " large purchase. " The bedrooms of his palace had waiting rooms that were filled with seating, and the inside of the room itself was massive. It could hold its own living area, office, and gym, every room even had its own bathroom. One could fit nearly anything they wanted in those rooms. Nightmare had placed a library of his favorite books in his own so that he would be able to retrieve them without having to traverse the castle for them.

Knowing just how nervous Dream was his brother paid close attention to how he was feeling and what he was looking at. Taking note of the different amounts of affection and intrigue to different pieces, to then be scared away by the price.

Maybe an hour of looking – for cheap stuff – Dream found a few that fit whatever budget he had set up in his own head. Only for Nightmare to grab a few more of the ones Dream had taken a liking to. " You need not worry about the prices Dream, we need to fill your room anyway. "

The golden guardian said nothing as he watched his brother buy a stupendous amount of furniture. So much so that it was to be picked up in a week.

Once bought, Nightmare considered offering to get lunch in Fluffytale, a quant AU mainly known for the cat cafe run by the sans of the AU or Ccino, (Nightmare may hate cats but the coffee was worth it,) but After a look at Dream decided against it. Dream was already confused as a fish out of the water just from Nightmare's actions thus far.

Walking through his portal into the main living area as it had become customary to arrive there, only this time instead of the room being empty or dust napping on one of the couches, Killer and a skeleton wearing a complicated black and white uniform decorated with straps that make X's. 

Cross.