#I've been way too busy with my masters to do much writing lately

[museumgiftshoperaser]

80s NYC art scene AU

“I just don’t get it,” Steve says and he tilts his head from left to right as if a new perspective might reveal the painting's secrets. The canvas looms so large it casts a blue glow over his skin. Thick, syrupy air spills out of the canvas, with just a thin brown strip of paint at the edges to hold the whole thing together. You could reach your arms all the way in there, disappear into the depths and never look back. The fully abstract shit isn’t really his thing, but it’s a little mesmerizing nonetheless.

Fine. Eddie will play along. It’s not like there’s much else to do. “What don’t you get?” he asks Steve. “I could do this myself.” He gestures wildly at the ocean of paint in front of him, but keeps his voice down. As if he’s worried the artist is somewhere close, listening in on his opinions. “It’s just colors?”

He can’t even hate something with his full chest. 

Eddie rolls his eyes, does it so Steve can see him. He’s not afraid of the repercussions of his thoughts. It’s the least original opinion someone could have on art. Steve sounds like he got it whole cloth from a conservative newspaper. Something his dad likes to read, definitely. “Then do it.” Eddie says. Steve frowns. “Stop being a pussy, then.” Eddie takes a tiny step toward him, crooks an eyebrow. “I’ll get you some fuckin’ paint. Just do it.” 

He expects Steve to come closer, to stitch the distance between them and take Eddie up on his little threat. He wants to argue for the hell of it, a bright spark of entertainment, a familiar frustration, but instead Steve takes a step back. 

“No… But…” He shakes his head, quickly and sternly. “I couldn’t…” 

There’s that crack again, a small one this time, and Eddie wants to rip him open. “I’m not kidding.” He takes another step forward, reveling in the inch he has over Steve. “We’ll do it right now. You pick the color, see how you like it.” 

Steve’s mouth twitches and his lips turn lilac under the phthalo glow of the canvas. Like he’s deprived of oxygen. Like he’s freezing.

Robin is so soft with him. Careful explanations, hands guiding hands over malleable clay. Eddie knows he responds well to it. But Eddie doesn’t do soft. 

“What are you scared of?” He taunts and takes another step closer. Steve turns away then, so he’s fully facing the canvas. “This isn’t funny.” “I’m not joking.” 

“Yellow.” Steve says and he sounds a little breathless. “What?” “If I could pick a color.” He looks at the floor and his cheeks flush a complementary shade. “I’d pick yellow.” 

Oh?That’s not at all the color Eddie would’ve expected. Sunny and pleasant and uncomplicated yellow. Fucking fascinating.

They’re close now, with Eddie’s face blocking the blue hue from the painting.

“We can do yellow,” he dares. “Studio’s just a short subway ride away from here, what do you say?” 

Steve runs his teeth over his bottom lip. His eyes scan Eddie’s face like he’s searching for the catch. There is no catch. Eddie would fucking love to see him try. “Let's do it.” His voice is almost a whisper.

On AO3

[dduane]

...So once again it's the time of year when I return to this piece of digital art (or its earlier versions), tweak it a little in the attempt to get closer to what I see in my head, and repost it for Pride. (ETA, 3 June 2024: image tweaked a little bit more via late-night re-render because the upholstery wasn't rendering correctly, and as a result the kitty sort of vanished. Which would not be at all her style...)

At the moment I'm looking at These Two Idiots (for so they are) and considering with the usual bemusement how long I've been working with them. Of all the characters I've worked with in print, the only ones I've known longer would be the crew of NCC-1701—and very shortly now, for the first time as paid writing, a couple of gentlemen named Holmes and Watson.

I first "met" these guys in late 1970 in the form of the fellow college students on whom they'd be based: a couple of gents (not gay, as it happens) who were friends to me when I needed some. They were a tall dark guy and a short blond one with a mustache that came and went... so that, not even knowing the word "trope" at the time, I fell headfirst into one.

Less than a year after I met them, I changed educational tracks and schools, and we all drifted apart. But something about them stuck. The nature and depth of their friendship was unusual. So was one way it manifested itself: in ruthless snark that had no meanness or cruelty about it whatsoever—just affection.

In the late sixties I'd begun writing some very derivative fic strongly influenced by Tolkien. Rather to my surprise, though, as I started nursing school in 1971, the nature of that fiction started to change, and began rearranging itself around two characters who had a friendship like those of my college friends. With them as its core, a rather different kind of medieval-ish fantasy world started knitting itself together from various scraps of themes and imagery lying around in the back of my brain.

Even so early in the construction phases of this world, something the characters quickly made plain to me in the writing was that their relationships with one another were not what mainstream 1970s culture would consider conventional. They were gay... but that was a background issue,* and not at all the most important thing in their lives. They had far more important business to deal with—as became clear as their personalities and priorities started filling themselves out in the foreground.

One of them turned out to be the deliberate, analytical, methodical son of a provincial nobleman, all too aware of the expectations of those around him: that he might well eventually wind up running that province himself. Yet at the same time he also became aware that he had other problems, chief among them the discovery of a nascent power that would kill him young if he couldn't master it. And in the last thousand years, no one of his gender ever had.

The other presented himself more and more clearly as a difficult case: someone who wanted very much to be good at the family business, but wasn't... and knew it. Kind of a screw-up, repeatedly doing the wrong things for what he was sure were the right reasons. Yet, no matter how often he screwed up, he was also the kind of person who keeps picking himself up and trying again, because he's been told over and over that that's what people like him have to do: otherwise they're no use to anybody.

Imagine my shock when I realized that these two men—initially canonically enemies in their adolescence, then best friends as they grew, and eventually much more—were the (incomplete) answer to the question I'd once asked my Mom at the end of the bedtime reading of some fairy tale or other: "Why can't a prince rescue another prince?" Because one of them got himself more than once into situations where he really needed one kind or another of rescuing. The other one obliged him, while once or twice getting rescued himself. Those interlocking patterns started to solidify out of concept and into character detail and plot, while their world grew and proliferated into its own detail around them.

Then, without warning, in 1978 both world and characters decided they were ready to get real. I was abruptly dragged gasping and flailing under the surface of a novel that would begin the tale of what those two characters had yet to become. The period it took to produce that first draft was possibly the most interesting six weeks of my life... and that includes the six weeks during which I first scrubbed in on brain surgery. Day and night, for days at a time, I barely even existed except as something for a novel to come out of. When it was done with me, it just as abruptly dumped me back into my life and wandered away, leaving me staring around, blinking and wondering if anybody’d got the number of that truck. Nothing like it has ever happened to me since, which may be just as well. I’m none too sure that these days I could handle the strain.

The book—which sold a couple of weeks after it landed on its first publisher's desk—kicked off my career as novelist and screenwriter, and in its way proved that the world was at least somewhat ready for epic fantasy in which the basic culture was pansexual, polyamorous, and inclusive in ways that hadn't been attempted before.

So I owe them a debt, those two gentlemen up there: the tall dark curly-haired guy with the amateur strategist's mind, the blacksmith's shoulders, and the peculiar sword, his background thought always nibbling away at the question of how to heal the world's wounds: and the short fair gent who if he could would stay at home, live quietly in town, and work in the local library... except for when saving the world (or his found family) requires him to subsume his being into that of his ancestral demigod. Due to the success of the book in which they made their debut, these two became, in their way, the fairy† godfathers of the Young Wizards—and additionally enabled all that Star Trek fanfic I'd started writing a decade before to proceed to its logical conclusion.

More to the point, though, a lot of people in the 1980s and '90s who'd never seen queer representation in a fantasy novel, found it first, or at last, while following Herewiss and Freelorn down their road. It's been my pleasure to hold that space for new readers, and keep adding to it... because (if you ask me) it's needed more now than ever.

So, to the readership of the Middle Kingdoms works—now pushing half a century old—and everybody else who's celebrating the season: happy Pride!

*Not least because everybody else in their world is (at least potentially) some shade of queer, including God.

†(snicker)

[lovingseventeen]

Hello! I've been stalking your blog and I can't explain how much I love your writings, they made my day 🥺 Anyway, if it's okay, can you do svt as your co-worker (could be just platonic/romantic/both, whatever you prefer). Thank you in advance! ✨️

svt as your coworker

a/n: AAAA so sorry to get back to you so late 😭 i hope you still get to read this and enjoy it,, i tried to write this as platonic with the hint of something more?

seungcheol:

○ quite the good employee

○ in his nature to lead group meetings and be pretty proactive in delegating roles that are suitable for everyone

○ always checks in with you that you’re okay with your work load and offers to help too

○ is it relevant that he looks very good with the sleeves of his button-up rolled up?

jeonghan:

○ master of wasting the company time and he somehow drags you into it

○ definitely plays some kind of little game with you every day

○ you both have used up several packs of post-its due to endless rounds of hangman, tic-tac-toe, etc

○ he loves to bet little prizes like “okay so over whoever loses has to buy lunch tomorrow”

○ he loves to waste time but is also somehow occasionally employee of the month???

joshua:

○ definitely the office hunk

○ half the company has a crush on him (how could you blame anyone, look at him)

○ definitely the kind of gentleman to grab coffee for himself but also bring back some extra drinks for those who sit near him too

○ when you try to pay him back he just smiles and brushes off your offer “you don’t need to do that” with the sweetest smile ever

jun:

○ always falls asleep at his desk but also never gets caught

○ is either very productive or doing nothing at all, no in between

○ you have to nudge him awake when you hear that the ceo is walking around the office and you swear your heart skips a beat when he looks at you in his sleepy state

hoshi:

○ one of the company’s long-time employees

○ a funny guy but also super reliable and hardworking so most people tend to look for him for help

○ you call him over to review something on your laptop and he’s leaning on your desk with one arm

○ when you talk to him he watches you intently and you’re wondering why your face suddenly feels hot?

wonwoo:

○ he’s quiet and always finishes his duties efficiently

○ the kind to send one-sentence emails (idk why i thought this seemed very him)

○ he sits across from you and when your eyes meet over your desktops you quickly turn back to your screen (you don’t realize he’s chuckling)

woozi:

○ employee of the month honestly

○ one of the people in the company who moved up the ranks pretty fast and at a pretty young age (he’s younger than most of the people with the same position)

○ he overhears your music playing through your headphones in the elevator one day (some of you will get this reference i hope)

○ “is that [insert obscure band]?” he’ll ask. you lift one side of your headphones to hear him and you nod happily when you realize his question. (from then on he has a little crush on you and he tries to start conversations in the future by asking if you’ve heard about that band’s new release!)

minghao:

○ you were a little intimidated by him at first

○ there’s no other way to describe it other than he looks so effortlessly cool, with his subtle piercings and painted nails amidst his business attire

○ you realize he’s warmer than you think when you work up the courage to compliment his nails

mingyu:

○ he’s employee of the month #2, also a very diligent guy

○ honestly a joyous person to share a desk with

○ “good morning ~~” he’ll say as he settles in for the day

○ from the second he gives you that wolffish grin you know this is gonna be a problem

dokyeom:

○ the kind of sweetheart to stay with you during your overtime so that you aren’t the only person left in the office

○ “you don’t need to stay!” you try to tell him, feeling a little bad you’re stopping someone from going home. he even has his bag all packed up

○ “y/n trust me, it’s a little scary when no one else is here” he assures you, “i stayed here one time and something dropped in one of the cubicles and it freaked me out” (he left out the part that he bolted out of the office when he heard that)

○ you think about it for a bit, opting to just hurry a little bit with your tasks. “okay fine, i’ll try not to take too long”

○ while you work, he even goes so far as to go to one of the vending machines down the hall to get you both a snack

○ bonus: on your way out you playfully go “did you hear that?” and his eyes widen immediately, “hear WHAT?”

seungkwan:

○ would be employee of the month if he didn’t get into arguments with coworkers here and there 😭

○ not a rude employee by any means but he’s just passionate about doing well

○ it is so nice when you get paired to work with him because he motivates you to do so well too

○ the longer you work with him, you do get to see more relaxed sides of him and he even hums a little while he works (soon you discover he’s incredible at singing)

vernon:

○ also doesn’t talk too much, not exactly because he’s busy but he also tends to sit idly sometimes, rotating on his chair to pass time LOL

○ he’s great to work with though, he’s so chill and open-minded that he’ll let you take the lead but also input his ideas when he feels necessary

○ you start talking to him when you come in on a monday, a little excited, “did you see the movie that everyone’s talking about?” you ask

○ his eyebrows raise and he sits up in his chair because he has in fact seen that movie

○ thus ensues emails about work but also with a movie recommendation in the final line

chan:

○ was the baby of the office when he was just an intern but he’s a hard-worker so he eventually got hired full-time

○ you catch him kind of dancing while he’s trying to pick out a vending machine snack

○ gets so embarrassed (he may have a crush on you) that he doesn’t talk to you for a good week 😭

[ep2nd]

@anxious-anon-time sorry for being late, was really busy this weekend

I'm very sorry this is 2 weeks late, had to board a plane, then was relaxing on Vacay, then had to catch up in school the next week

"What do you think of the Ink Scroll arc"

I absolutely stinking loved it.

Now here's the essay you ask for (or didn't, I just want to write an essay)

1. Love the foreshadowing/self awareness. Ex. When MK says "Maybe this the part of our journey where things get DARKEE" the poor boy- also love how the word Journey was used, foreshadowing how it was about the Journey to the West

2. Everyone had good arcs, except Pigsy? Like, MK beautiful, Meis opposite nature to Ao Lie, lovely, Sandy fighting the monster allegations, been his trauma since the beginning (when he references he's changed since meeting Pigsy last), showcasing the difference between Tang and Tripitaka qns for Tang to get more development?! Woo!!! But Pigsy?? Having the same plot/character development of Sandy, where being a monster doesn't matter Yada Yada Yada, it just didn't make sense.

There was no part beforehand where Pigsy EVER questioned that part of him, unlike Sandy who's been afraid of hurting someone, yes I enjoyed the episode, the Cook references from previous (and also Freenoodle crumbs) were amazing. What I wish they had done was something like Pigsy questioning his family, or chosen family in this case. THEY EVEN WENTOF THEIR WAY TO MAKE THE "MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSY IS" MOMENT. Like- I just Pigys arc was more family/friend centered, definitely would compliment whatever jumbo shrimp mess MK had going on

3. Talking bout MK- the trauma and angst were GORGEOUS we love it. My boy been through so much. And we learned more of his past?! The theorists were going CRAZY. Love the Sunburst and Soysauce moment, MMMMMMMM, this boy needs to stop trusting people so quickly oh my gosh AZURE WHEN I CATCH YOU-

4. Really good villain. Love how they went with a villain who thought HE was the hero, and main character I guess lol. Was he a turned villain? Yes but he was a good one! Kinda wish the foreshadowing was better, instead of that one episode where Tang just watched and realized it. He's a complex character, who just wanted to help people, and yeah his ambition wasn't even bad, the Jade Emperor isn't great even, but he took it too far

5. Great job yall, you guys made a character everyone hates, Peng, Revalis brother from another mother

6. Yellow Tusk was ehhh, wish we saw more of his character, seemed interesting, loved his loyalty

7. Now LMK is very special from other shows I've watched he'd because well, I'm willing to rewatch many episodes, even if I know what will happen, I tend to not rematch ANYTHING because of this problem, but LMK is just different. For some reason the Scroll arc is the exception, I like it, but for some reason I don't see myself rewarching it, don't know why

8. Ink MK was a beloved, his voice?! Design?!? DIALOG AND SPEECH PATTERN!?!? BRILLIANT. really love all Ink people moments, mostly just Ink MK, and Wukong.

9. Glad Wukong got development, man is facing the consequences of his actions and its really getting him, I'm glad he's getting really good development.

10. Master Subodhi. Do I need to say more?! Loved him dearly. Wish he and Wukong remet. :( liked his character very much, I like how he wasn't even real in the Scroll and still had omniscient abilities. My only question was what else did he know?! On that note, is anyone going to talk about how the girl is just, like immortal?! The Acolyte as yall call her. Now I don't think Subodhi just GIVES out immortality, I feel like he saves it for special people, like Wukong, no I have theories and headcannons for her but that's another day.

Also I'm a suckered for any JTTW character appearance. LMK GIVE ME ERLANG SHEN, GOLD STAR OF VENUS, GUANYIN, ANY OF NEZHAS BROTHERS, AND MY LUFE IS YOURSSSSS

11. The only thing I can think of left is how in the world did the Scroll worked?!? Like, it didn't teleport them to the past, I've been making a simulator almost? But then why does the characters inside feel so real, and how did Wukong trap Peng and Yellow Tusk, and where and hwt have they been doing?! AND HOW DOES THE OMNISCIENT POWER OF SUBHODI WORK. MAN CANT HAVE THAT MUCH PLOT REASONS POWER. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE HOW DID THEY GET THE OLD PILGRIMS WEAPONS LAST TIME I CHECKED TRIPITAKAAS STAFF WSS IN WUKONGS CAVE

[peenyas]

┊Special Brew

Kinda stressed out when writing this, and I've been thinking about what it's like to get a bartending job so here we go. Honestly feel like turning this into a smalll series.. If i suddenly post smut please forgive me

✦ *˖ ° . ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍

Content: DILUC X GN!READER, flustered diluc, slowburn, you got a bartending job at angles share!

[diluc's speech will be Bold!]

✦ *˖ ° . ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍

.

.

A successful interview, you gotten news that you're accepted to work at angles share as a bartender! It's exciting and nerve wracking at the same time, you've actually landed a job in one of Mondstat's biggest wine company. What were the chances of that? Has luck finally found you?

You clocked in at 5 pm getting ready for your shift, in the back changing into your work attire when you heard someone come in the room. Turning around, a tall man with red hair with his back facing you, he seems to be clocking in too. Zoning out for a moment thinking who this might be until a voice snapped you out of it.

" ..hello there? You alright? It's time to get to work now"

Blinking frantically, you realized you were staring at them the entire time, how embarrassing. Giving a quick nod before bolting out. Thankfully this evening wasn't all too busy, after serving the last few patrons you went back to thinking who you just saw. Was he a newbie? He seemed so familiar.. wait no it can't be-

Your train of thought is once again interrupted, this time was a gloved hand waving slowly in front of you to grab your attention, seems like they were calling out to you for some time now. You looked up, it's the same man from earlier again, this time you finally realized who they were.

"ah yes- sorry if i interrupted anything there but..."

Your head went blank. Master Diluc Ragnvindr, the very owner of dawn winery, is here working with you on your first day. You thought everything was over, fuck Fuck FUCK im gonna get booted for this... You faced him and almost wanted to start apologizing when he stopped you,

"M-master Di.. I mean, boss, I'm so sorry for-"

"Now now, it's alright... Just don't do that again."

You blinked a few times before looking around the tavern. It was completely empty. That's weird... You looked at the time to check and it's practically midnight, way past when you're supposed to leave work now. When did the time go by so fast? Seems like Diluc was there to urge you to go home at this point.

Averting your attention back to diluc, now at the back tidying up wine bottles, wiping excess glasses and mugs.

"say.., do you usually stay back so late to do clean up?"

"onlyy when i feel like it. I'd ask the same to someone who decided to stay past their working hours."

You let out an embarrassed cough, "I just caught up with thinking...! I'll get going then."

Scurrying to the back room to put away the work attire and getting ready to head home, you peek outside of the door to see if Diluc is still around. What you didn't know is that he's right behind you, did you not notice him coming in the room after you?

He's joining you in looking out the door, his head just slightly hovering above yours.

"Is there something to look out for?"

The sudden whisper got you stumbling out of the room, Diluc tried to catch you but failed, now looking at you with just as much shock, the both of you now caught in surprise and now looking at each other. Diluc was quick to lend a hand for you to get up, you take it while embarrassment is written all over your face.

"I truly apologize for scaring you just now... I .. thought you knew about my presence.. are you hurt?" His tone sounds flat but genuine, scanning your body as you stand up.

"I-it's alright! Im fine- ... Just a bit surprised.. thank you."

Why am i fucking up my first day right in front of the owner?? Now I'm really done for.. Giving him a light bow, wishing you could just run out of the place this instant. You were assuming he'd start giving you a lecture of some sort, which was proven false when you heard him chuckle.

"You're quite something aren't you? Well get going now, the night is quite dangerous." That comment got you flushing a faint red. Leading you out the tavern door, both of you walk out as he locks up the door to angle's share.

Cool air blew against your face as you stepped out. Looking around, the city was dead silent. You couldn't help but feel uncomfortable because of it. Diluc walked up besides you and noticed how nervous you seem.

"You alright there? Would... You want me to walk home with you?"

"o-oh, wouldn't that be too much of a hassle? It's quite late and I could never take up more time from you..."

"Well it being late is exactly why, I'll be fine. It would be quite a waste to have a brand new employee disappear on the first night."

You don't know if he's being sarcastic or not, but giggles escaped your lips regardless. Diluc not knowing what's so funny got a bit flustered by your reaction and looks away.

"..you may lead the way then, I'll follow behind."

You thanked him, but he seems to be avoiding eye contact with you now. Did I do something wrong..? The whole walk was pretty awkward with how little talk was going on, it couldn't be helped anyways, Diluc always seemed to be the preserved type, this should be natural.

Though what you didn't expect is how.. clumsy he was. Tripped a few times over some tree roots, clearing his throat ever so often, sighing. Looking back at him and you'll be met with a red haired man, quickly looking away and averting his gaze else where. It was quite dark so you couldn't really see anything, is he alright?

The road became more familiar to you now as you kept walking,

"ah! Almost near my house. Thank you for walking with me-"

"yes. O-of course.. my pleasure." He replied a bit too immediately, he sounds nervous.

After seeing you reach the front door, he quickly turns away before you could say anything else. You wonder if you'd be able to face him the next day with how you acted during work, hopefully he doesn't come in tomorrow...

(1/?) · [Pt. 2]

Xtra notes: reading angst and now continuing this ....feels so unreal. I need to stop that. Cover art by me! @ on it is my Instagram handle :3!

Pls remember i will only write when i feel like it, so no continuation time frame

[moonferry]

fsioy chapter 14? boy, you're gonna scream!

I CANT BELIEVE IT. i finally finished it. here it is - the "big one" i've been forewarning for days now. it's finally finished and possibly even more angsty than i anticipated. this may be the most gut-wrenching thing ive written for this fic. once again, nothing i say can accurately prepare you for what will happen. all i can say is that i'm truly sorry. also this would be a good time to mention that i have - unfortunately - began taking college classes so updates may be more sporadic but i will push through and keep going with this fic . trust. i've invested too much time and effort into this to just abandon it now. and - like i promised - i will be writing a short fluffy oneshot (and it will feature danny and lee !) as recompence. this one is going to be LONG and a doozy so strap in, folks!

warnings: CORPSE MENTION/BODY DECOMPOSITION, SPRAINED ANKLES, BROKEN BONES, AMBUSH ATTACKS, GUNSHOTS/ GUN FIRE, HAULICINATIONS, BLOOD, GRIEF, DEATH.

summary: kent leaves the medical tent in search of lee. lee is racked with guilt and convinces kent that the two of them need to bury the woman, just to ease his conscious. kent agrees and the two venture out into the town. the two manage to find the woman and begin the process of the burial, however, they are soon ambushed and run into a nearby building for shelter.

word count: 9283

other chapters: chapter master list

ao3 link: here

Kent nodded at Willy’s words and watched the older man leave the tent. Rest did seem like a good idea, but Kent had just woken up and felt particularly wired up. He glanced around, making sure the nurse was busy with another patient, before carefully standing. He winced as he used his arms to push himself up, but kept going anyway. Kent silently crept out of the tent. He wasn't sure where he was going or what he planned to do, but he needed to leave that tent. He needed to find Lee, anyway, so that was as good of a place as any. 

Kent squinted as his eyes adjusted to the darkness outside. He wasn't sure what time it was, but it appeared to be quite late. He continued walking in the direction that he saw the left figure exit towards earlier, hoping he was going in the right direction. 

Kent approached a small tree and was overcome with a small dizzy spell. He leaned against it and tried to avoid falling down. Now that he thought about it, leaving the medical tent when he had just been gravely injured probably wasn't the smartest idea, but it was too late to turn back now. He had to find Lee. 

However, it was Lee who found him. Lee opened the door of the nearby building - squinting at the nearby tree.

“Kent?” Lee asked, slightly confused. “Is that you?” He asked again. Lee didn't wait on an answer- instead, choosing to cautiously approach the tree. When he arrived underneath the branches and confirmed that it was, indeed, Kent, Lee let out a small sigh of relief before frowning. 

“What are you doing out here, man?” Lee asked, disapproval crossing his features. He crossed his arms and looked at Kent the same way a mother would look at their naughty child. “You're supposed to be in the med tent - you know, resting,” He scolded. Kent rolled his eyes.

 “You're acting like my mom, dude,” Kent joked, shaking his head with a small smile. Though, Lee didn't seem to react to Kent’s joke. His expression remained serious and Kent cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Um.. anyway. I actually came to find you,” Kent explained. He watched Lee raise an eyebrow, his friend's eyes darting around and inspecting Kent’s condition skeptically. 

“I wanted to see if you were alright,” Kent continued. He looked up at Lee, his lips forming a small, sympathetic line before he added, “After, y’know, earlier. You seemed pretty shaken up back there..”

Lee sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “Do you want the truth, Kent?” He asked, looking up to meet Kent’s eyes. Kent nodded. 

“No. I'm not alright. I don't know if I will ever be - after what happened today,” Lee confessed, shaking his head. He paced around anxiously, fidgeting with his hands as he spoke again, “I keep thinking about that woman, Kent. About what I did to her.” 

Kent nodded once again. He didn't know how something like that felt personally, but he could assume it wasn't a good feeling. He tried to comfort Lee, “It's alright, man. You did what you had to. If.. if you hadn't been there, I don't even want to think about what would've happened to me.” 

“No, it's not ‘alright’,” Lee spoke, shaking his head. He buried his face in his palms and let out an upset groan before adding, “I.. I hurt someone. Actually, even worse, I killed someone, Kent. That goes against everything I believe in. And you're going to sit here and tell me it's ‘alright’?!” Emotion coated his voice as tears welled up in his eyes. 

“I'm sorry.. I was just trying to hel-” Kent spoke, though he was soon cut off by Lee. 

“To help? Kent, you can't help me. I don't care if it was ‘justified’ or ‘self defense', I went against everything I believe in. Everything my grandmother believed in,” Lee spoke, angry tears now pouring down his cheeks. His breathing hitched as he mentioned his grandmother. Oma would be more than disappointed in his actions. She'd be furious. 

Another sobbed racked his chest and Lee slumped down, his back scraping against the rough bark of the tree. “The sad thing is, I didn't even hesitate at the time. All I was thinking about was saving you,” Lee admitted sadly, wrapping his arms around his knees. He glanced down at his shoes.

Kent’s lips formed another thin line, though he gave an understanding nod. He looked at Lee and exhaled a small sigh before moving and sitting next to him. 

“I, for one, am grateful you saved me, Lee,” Kent offered. He looked at the slew of bandages that covered his arms, his brows knitting together as he thought about how much worse it could've been. He spoke once again, “I mean, sure I'm a complete wreck, but at least I'm alive. I wouldn't be if you hadn't arrived.”

“I know you feel guilty, and I completely understand, but you have to admit,” Kent spoke, turning to look at Lee. He slowly raised his arm - trying his best to avoid harming himself further - and placed his hand comfortingly on Lee’s shoulder. He continued, “the thing you did today? That took serious guts, man.” 

Lee looked up, meeting Kent’s eyes. He tilted his head slightly - letting his friend’s words soak into his brain. He looked at Kent’s bandaged arms and thought about his own actions. Had he not done anything, Lee probably wouldn't be having this conversation with Kent right now. On the other hand, he had to choose between two people - two lives. 

“I don't think anyone should have that sort of responsibility,” Lee started, a small frown forming across his lips. “Playing Yoba, I mean. No one should have to choose between who lives or dies. No one needs to have control over whether someone survives or not.” 

“I mean, that woman - she probably had a life before this damned war. And now? She’ll never get to experience something like it again,” Lee spoke as he continued mulling over his thoughts. He sighed once again and looked down at his hands. Lee swore he saw the palms stained with a dark crimson - reminding him of his actions. He closed his eyes and added, “And it's all my fault. As always.” 

Kent frowned as he listened to Lee’s words. He knew Lee felt guilty, but he didn't like Lee blaming himself, especially this much. 

“You're always so hard on yourself, Lee,” Kent said, his expression drooping, before adding, “I don't get it. Why do you blame yourself for everything?” 

Lee pursed his lips, rubbing the back of his neck and debating how to approach the question. He could easily lie, blame it on his bad luck, or he could tell Kent the truth, admit his childhood wasn't the best and that took a toll on him. Lee looked at Kent - noticed how judgment free his friend’s expression was, how open minded and accepting Kent was - and nodded to himself. 

“Have I ever told you why I hate my name?” 

Kent shook his head. He turned his body towards Lee and eagerly listened to his friend’s words. 

“It all started with my father,” Lee began. He spent the next few moments recalling times from his childhood - explaining why he hated his name, his father, and even why he hated violence or arguments.

 He recalled the moments where his mother would blame him for her life or his father's choices. He spoke about the relief he felt when his mother remarried, about the sadness and guilt he felt when she didn't take him with her, and about how he spent several nights wondering what he did wrong. 

 He talked about how grateful he was to Oma for taking care of him and teaching him everything he knows. About how those moments stuck with him and shaped who he was as a person. About how he was so quick to blame himself when something went wrong, because that's all he's ever known. He had been told countless times that something he has no control over was his fault. 

Lee talked about how he had acquired so much guilt, so much parental disappointment, so much misplaced anger. As he spoke, Lee’s chest began to feel lighter. He had been holding these feelings inside for years - afraid to seem ungrateful if he ever spoke about them. Afraid to be scolded for feeling these things. Afraid to be punished for everything wrong with the world. Afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing because, somehow, it would all be his fault. 

“Wow.. I didn't know that,” Kent spoke once Lee finished speaking. He looked his friend, wondering what he could possibly say to offer support. “I hope you know that none of that was your fault, Lee. You were just a kid, after all.” 

“I know, but I can't help feeling like I caused everything to turn out the way it did,” Lee spoke, a small sigh slipping past his lips. He continued, “my parents were only together because my Ma was pregnant with me. My father tried - for the most part - until I was five, then he realized he wasn't ready for a kid. He left and I was just a painful reminder to my mother, since I shared his name, y’know? It makes me wonder, if that never happened, would she have resented me so much? Would she have taken me with her that day?” 

“I don't know, man,” Kent admitted, shrugging before he reached over and wrapped his arm around Lee’s shoulders. He spoke once more, “But I do know that I would've, if I was your mom. You're an amazing person, Lee. I'm sorry you had to experience that.” 

“It's okay,” Lee replied as he leaned into Kent's arm, draping his own arm around Kent’s waist. “I don't blame either of them, I guess. I just wish things turned out differently sometimes,” he admitted. 

The two sat in silence for a moment, letting the previous points in the conversation sink in. Lee mulled over his thoughts and his guilt began to slowly creep back in, covering his consciousness with images of the poor woman’s body as it slumped over - the red splotch growing in her chest. Lee needed to do something or he’d be racked with guilt for the rest of his life. 

“Hey, Kent?” Lee asked, glancing up at his friend. 

“Yeah, man?” Kent replied. He tilted his head curiously, waiting for Lee’s next words. 

“Do you think I'm a bad person?” 

Kent went silent for a moment, thinking over Lee’s question. Did he think he was a bad person? No, not really. In fact, quite the opposite. He thought Lee was the nicest and most thoughtful person he's ever met. If he was in Lee’s shoes, would he have reacted the same way? No doubt about it. Kent thought it was admirable that Lee felt the consequences of his actions - even if it was a “necessary action”. There were some people in this world who wouldn't have felt even a twinge of guilt or shame about taking a life, but Lee was not one of those people. Lee was amazing and forgiving - almost too forgiving at times - and Kent couldn't imagine having to make a choice as drastic as that. 

“No,” Kent replied. He turned and looked at Lee, giving his friend a compassionate look before adding, “I think you're a good person who was given bad circumstances. It's important to know the difference, Lee. You are more than whatever you think your actions mean. The fact that you feel guilty is proof of that.” 

“You really think so?” Lee asked.

Kent nodded before smiling at Lee and speaking, “Yeah, man. I've said this before, but you only did what you had to. I fully believe you wouldn't have done something like that under normal circumstances.” 

“Kent, I can't stop thinking about her. I feel awful thinking about how we just.. left her there, you know?” Lee mumbled, fidgeting with the sleeves of his uniform shirt. He frowned as the image of the woman filled his mind once again. “It doesn't sit right with me. I.. I think we need to go back. Just to give her a proper burial.” 

“Would that help ease your mind?” Kent asked as he thought over Lee’s proposal. He wasn't going to deny Lee, especially if this was something that might help him. Kent wasn't sure if it was a great idea - especially since it was quite dark and now late at night, but he was willing to go through with it for Lee. 

Lee nodded, “I think so.” 

“Okay, then let’s do it,” Kent agreed. He carefully stood up and motioned for Lee to follow him. Lee quickly stood and began walking behind Kent. 

“Uhmm, Lee, I know this is probably a bad time, but..” Kent started. He turned back towards his friend and nodded his head towards the weapons shack, “I think we should take one of those with us, just in case something goes wrong.” 

“I know.. you don't really like them or like using them, but it would make me feel safer. And.. since I can't exactly use my arms right now - especially with something like that, you.. might have to be the one to carry it.” 

Lee’s expression fell and he shook his head in protest as he spoke, “Kent, I.. I can't.” Kent looked at Lee, noticed how distraught the idea had made him, and sighed. 

“Okay,” Kent replied, giving a small curt nod, “If it makes you feel better, we won't bring one.” 

Against their better judgment, they decided to forego the weapon and the two boys headed towards the survey location from before. The only thing they took with them was a small, dimly lit lantern. It was amazing they could see where they were going - as the lantern looked like it would burn out at any moment. Along with this, neither of them were particularly great with directions.

As they walked off, a figure stepped out of the shadows - he had been anxiously listening to the boys’ conversation and disapproved of their lack of responsibility. 

“Those boys,” The person muttered, shaking his head with a small sigh. “I guess I better follow ‘em, just to make sure that nothin’ bad happens..” He added with a small grumble. 

Willy - being reasonable - managed to snag a weapon. He had experienced enough war to know that nothing good came from being unprepared. He grumbled to himself once again, mentally scolding the boys, and silently crept behind them as they walked. His pace was agonizingly slow, as he was trying his best to avoid crunching any stray leaf or snapping a twig so as to not alert Kent and Lee, and he kept a nice distance between himself and them. Willy squinted, searching the darkness for the faint light emitting from the lantern. 

Kent and Lee slowly approached the outskirts of the town and stopped. Lee turned to Kent, a curious expression crossing his features. 

“Hey, Kent,” Lee started, anxiously looking around at the array of similar looking buildings. They all had the exact same drab exterior - as if this was once a suburb or some sort of cul de sac. It was impossible to know which one was the “right” building. “You wouldn’t happen to remember where the building was, would you?” He asked with a small gulp. There appeared to be way more buildings than there were this morning. It would take them ages to find where they needed to go. 

Kent shook his head sadly. He barely remembered anything from this morning - let alone which of the buildings he entered. A small, frustrated frown formed on his lips - though the sagging motion of the skin caused a slight jolt of pain through his wound. 

“We could always pick one at random,” Kent suggested. He held up his hand and pointed towards a building in the middle of the row. “Like that one, for example...” 

“It’s worth a shot, I guess,” Lee replied, shrugging his shoulders. They cautiously approached the building. Lee held the lantern as Kent peered inside. 

“Nothing,” Kent said, removing his head from the doorway and turning back to Lee. “Let’s try some more. It has to be one of these.. This area feels too familiar for it not to.” 

The boys continued to look into the row of houses. Their frustration grew as they came upon yet another empty building. Eventually, however, Kent peered inside the correct building. He gagged as his nostrils filled with the putrid scent of decay. His eyes scanned the room before landing on the body in the middle. The scene was quite grotesque: the corpse had begun to bloat and sag with the summer heat, the flesh now swollen to the point it was barely recognizable as human. The pool beneath the woman had congealed into a jelly-like substance and its color had meshed into a deep, almost black, crimson. A large mass of flies swarmed around the formless blob of plump flesh, near what was once the woman’s face. The loud buzz of the insects was quite contrasting to the quiet stillness of the night that surrounded the scene. It made Kent feel uneasy - and like he was going to vomit. 

“This is the one, alright,” Kent called over his shoulder at Lee. His friend opened the door, reaching his free hand up to shield his eyes. Though, as the scent of death wafted towards him, Lee almost wished he’d covered his nose instead. 

“Yoba, that’s awful,” Lee exclaimed, his eyes watering as the scent threatened to fill his lungs. He grimaced, having to finally move his hand from his eyes to prevent more of the stench from latching onto him. Lee surveyed the room and his expression dropped further as he looked at the state of the woman’s corpse. He felt awful. The guilt began to creep in once again. He closed his eyes before exhaling a small sigh and speaking, “Let’s make this right. She deserves a proper burial.” 

Kent nodded before following Lee into the building - slightly reluctantly, but he wanted to be supportive of his friend. Kent grimaced as he thought about having to move the bloated corpse and looked around for something to wrap around it to avoid making direct contact. Luckily, there was a small tablecloth in the corner of the room. 

Unluckily, it was riddled with moth-eaten holes, making it threadbare, and was only big enough to cover one person's hands. He inspected it, thinking for a moment. He could easily give it to Lee, though that would mean he'd be the one left with that feeling forever burned into his finger tips. Or, he could keep it for himself and pass the suffering to Lee instead - but that would make him selfish. Neither option seemed like a good choice. He pursed his lips together, his finger resting on his chin thoughtfully. Eventually, he had an idea: they could place it beneath her and use it to drag her around.

Kent carefully unfolded the tablecloth, shaking it and accidentally stirring up a cloud of dust. He cough and used the tablecloth to fan away the dust cloud before gently placing it on the ground. 

“Lee,” He called out, motioning for his friend to approach. He pointed at the tablecloth and then the woman before explaining, “Help me roll her onto this. It'll make the body easier to move.” 

Lee looked skeptical, though he approached Kent and crouched down. The one thing Kent hadn't accounted for was exactly how they were going to get her onto the fabric. Guess we’re doing this after all, he thought to himself. So much for trying not to touch it. Kent cringed and extended his hand. He recoiled as his hand pressed into the squishiness of the fleshy mass. The feeling coated his fingers as the skin bulged and confirmed to his touch. He glanced over at Lee, who appeared to be having just as bad of an experience as he was, and nodded - signaling it was time. 

“Okay, on three,” Kent instructed. He took a deep breath, trying to get the awful feeling out of his mind before counting, “One, two.. three.” At three, the two boys gave a firm push and watched as the woman was turned onto her side - now laying directly on the fabric. Her head bounced as the impact jolted through her body before finally coming to a lull and hanging to the side. 

“Ew, ew, ew!” He protested, his face contorting into a distressed expression. Kent stood up and frantically wiped his hand against his uniform, making various noises of disgust as he flapped his hand violently. 

“That was so disgusting,” Kent whined, an uncomfortable look crossing his face, “It was all… squishy, and… and slimy.” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me, please,” Lee pleaded, his own face turning green at the thought. He added, “I already feel like I’m gonna barf..”  

He looked at their handiwork and moved to stand beside Kent before speaking again, “Well, I guess it’s time to bury her.” 

Kent gave a small nod before reaching down and gripping the bunch of fabric closest to him. He and Lee then exited the building - dragging the tablecloth behind them and silently hoping it didn’t hit a rock and send the poor woman rolling down the hill. That would not be a fun experience for anyone involved. They slowly - but surely - made their way towards the nearby cemetery and started digging a shallow hole. It was shoddy work, but it was the best they could do, given how dark it was and how little time they had left. Just as they began lowering the woman into the pitiful excuse of a hole, they were met with a distant sound of shuffling leaves. 

Kent glanced up, holding the lantern near his face to aid his vision, and tried to determine where the sound was coming from. Another sound rang through the quiet night: a thundering crack - as if someone had stepped on a twig and snapped it in half.

“Kent?” Lee called, peering up at his friend from inside the hole. Lee was currently removing the dirt, trying to ensure that it was semi-decent. A look of concern crossed his face. When he didn’t receive a response, he spoke again, “Is everything alright up there?”. 

   Kent held a finger towards his lips and gave a small “shh”. He strained his ears, desperately trying to find the source of the sound. He was greeted with the faint sound of more rustling, followed by the crunch of dead leaves. He turned to Lee, wide eyed. 

“Do you hear that?” Kent whispered, panicked. The sounds slowly grew in volume, as if whatever - or whoever - was out there seemed to be approaching their location. If Kent was uneasy before, he was anxious now. Something about their excursion thus far had seemed too easy and Kent was honestly quite worried. They hadn’t encountered another person - or even any animals, for that matter - and Kent wasn’t eager to get caught playing around in a cemetery, his friend standing in an open grave and a body two feet from them at most. He knew it seemed too good to be true. 

“Kent, you’re worrying me,” Lee replied, a small frown forming on his lips. From where he was standing, he hadn’t heard the slightest hint of noise - other than the sound of dirt plopping behind him. 

“Whatever you do,” Kent warned, his expression turning serious, “don’t move.” He watched Lee freeze in place. Kent peered out in the direction of the sound and held his breath, intently watching and listening for any sign of movement. He heard the same sounds as before, though they seemed much closer than they were previously. He glanced at the empty tree line, his pulse racing. A brief flash of moment occurred and Kent felt something whiz past his shoulder. He turned to look, only to find a small rock that had plopped into Lee’s dirt pile. Confused, he glanced back at the forest entrance. His eyes widened as he looked at the once empty - save for a few sparse trees and greenery - lot, which was now teeming with vicious, glinting eyes. 

“Oh, shit!” Kent exclaimed. He turned towards Lee and frantically approached his friend. “We gotta go man, come on!” He extended his hand outward and hastily tried to pull Lee over the wall of the hole. 

“But we didn’t even bury her yet!” Lee protested, motioning to what was once the woman.

“We can worry about that later,” Kent scolded, his voice rising in fear. He glanced back at the mass of eyes - which appeared to have grown in size - and gulped. “We have bigger problems. We need to go - now!” He urged, finally pulling Lee over the edge and onto the soft, squishy ground beneath his feet.

“I don’t see what you’re so worked up about,” Lee sulked, a protesting frown crossing his lips, “You heard some noises, so what?”

“That’s what,” Kent replied harshly, snapping his head in the direction of  the growing crowd. Lee’s expression soon changed from reluctant to afraid. He gulped as he glanced towards the edge of the forest, his face paling. 

“Good idea.. We should get out of here,” Lee suggested, turning back to Kent. The two nodded towards each other and sprinted away from the forest. As they ran, dozens of bullets whizzed past them and they had to strafe on their paths to avoid being nicked. They managed a few feet before Lee glanced over his shoulder - checking to see if they were still being followed. Unfortunately, they were and the followers appeared to be gaining ground. Even more unfortunate, however, was the fact that Lee’s glance caused him to take his eyes off the path. He tripped over a jagged, misplaced stone. He stumbled before hitting the ground with a loud thud. Pain rocketed through his entire body, but seemed to stem from his left ankle. 

“Lee!” Kent called out as he approached his friend. He looked around warily before squatting down and speaking once again, “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Lee confirmed, pushing himself up with a groan, “I think so.” His nose was bleeding from the impact, but other than that he seemed relatively fine - excluding a few scuffs where stray pebbles dug into his skin. That was, until he attempted to stand, of course. As Lee attempted to put weight on his left foot, a fiery pain scorched his body and he let out a pained yelp. Kent frowned at the noise.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, not believing Lee. He watched Lee cringe as the boy once again tried to put weight on his foot and failed. “You don’t look okay,” Kent said, concern layering itself in his voice. 

“I’m fine,” Lee said, gritting his teeth as he once again attempted to walk. Kent attempted to ask once more but Lee dismissed him, “We can’t worry about me right now. We have to get out of here - you said it yourself.” 

“Lee,” Kent pleaded, another frown forming on his lips. He glanced down at Lee’s ankle before adding, “At least let me look at it.”

“Fine,” Lee conceded. He rested against a nearby rock and allowed Kent to examine his ankle. Lee’s ankle was swollen and appeared to have some deep purple bruising from the impact. Kent sucked in a breath through his teeth and shook his head disapprovingly. 

“Yikes, it looks sprained,” Kent explained. He looked at Lee and pursed his lips together, preparing to deliver even more bad news, “I don’t think you can walk on that - at least for a while, and especially not for long periods of time.”

“Oh, Yoba,” Lee exclaimed under his breath, letting out a sigh of frustration. Of all the times to be clumsy and injure himself, it had to be now, didn’t it? Of course it did, he thought to himself with a shake of his head, after all, why wouldn’t it? 

Kent glanced around, exhaling a deep breath as he noted the position of the approaching crowd. They appeared much closer now - maybe a few feet away at most. He gulped and turned his attention back to his friend.

“We can’t stay here,” Kent began, tapping his finger against his chin in thought. He paced around, wondering what options they had. It would be too far to try and make it back to camp and going the way they came was out of the question. Kent surveyed their surroundings and noted they were quite close to the building where they had found the woman. That could work, Kent thought to himself. But how would he get Lee there safely? He turned back to Lee, wrapping his arm around his midsection and helping him stand before speaking, “We’re going to do something stupid, okay? We’re going into that house again. I need to get you off that ankle.” 

Lee gave a half-hearted chuckle, “Stupid is my middle name.” 

Kent carefully began walking - ensuring Lee’s bad ankle stayed elevated as long as possible. Lee slowly limped beside him, leaning into Kent and trying his best not to complain too much. They were now approaching the door, though the mass of people behind them seemed to be closing in. Kent looked around, slightly panicked. 

“We can make it, Lee,” Kent assured his friend, who was now slightly lagging behind - his limp becoming more evident the longer he walked. Kent had to frequently stop to avoid causing Lee to stumble. He looked at the distance they had to go and spoke once again, “We just need to do a slight sprint. Can you handle that?” 

Lee nodded. He waited for Kent’s signal before attempting to run, still leaning against his friend for support. Pain continued to shoot through him, but Lee simply gritted his teeth and kept going. They were so close - he could almost taste the comfort of safety.Only a few more feet to go and they would be fine, he assured himself. And then he suddenly stepped on another stray rock, sending himself tumbling forward once again. He instinctively pushed his arms forward to stop himself, though the weight of his body was enough to jolt his entire arm and push it to the side with an uncomfortable and sharp resounding snap. He let out a low groan of pain, tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Oh, Yoba,” Kent exclaims. HIs eyes widened as he looked at Lee, inspecting his friend for any more injuries. He grew nauseous as his eyes landed on Lee’s arm - which was now disfigured and pointed at a harsh angle, the faintest shard of bone peaking through the skin.

“Lee, your arm,” Kent spoke, horror filling his voice. 

“What?” Lee asked, he lifted his head from the dirt and glanced over at Kent - noting his distressed appearance. “What’s wrong with my arm?” Lee asked once again, fear washing over his face.

 Undoubtedly, Lee’s adrenaline had kicked in - overtaking the pain. Lee felt incredibly numb and only seemed to notice the distant throb of his ankle and a faint tingle in his arm. Kent pointed a shaky finger at Lee’s arm. Lee followed his gaze, his own eyes landing on his right arm. His eyes widened. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m left handed then, right?” Lee joked, a weak chuckle slipping past his lips. It was clear, though, that a layer of panic was hiding in his voice. He appeared to be in a state of shock, unable to register the pain that was likely coursing through his body at that very moment. 

Kent peeled his eyes away - desperately trying not to retch. He clamped a hand over his mouth and tightly closed his eyes. After taking a few seconds to compose himself, Kent opened his eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. 

“Okay,” He started, slowly looking back at Lee before continuing, “We need to get you inside. I don’t want anything to get worse.” Kent crouched down and carefully helped Lee up once more before walking at the fastest pace he possibly could while still supporting Lee. They managed to make it to the house - just in time, too. As soon as Kent slammed the door shut, several fists pounded against the door and attempted to gain entry. Kent yelped and pressed his back against the door, desperately trying to keep it closed as Lee looked for something to dress his wounds - maybe something they could use as a tourniquet. Kent heard several voices outside the door - all of which yelled out taunts and tried to urge the boys to leave the house. They were circling the building now, by the sound of it. It was still far too dark outside to see (and be able to accurately tell) but Kent listened to the shuffle of footsteps as they rounded the corner of the house - approaching the door once again. 

“This is for Misha!” A voice exclaimed from outside. Kent wasn’t sure who Misha was. He looked at Lee, confused. Before he could ask Lee his question, though, several rapid gunshots sounded. 

Kent yelped, ducking down and covering his head with his forearms. He silently hoped Lee had done the same. The piercing sound of the gunfire made Kent’s ears ring. He clamped his hands over his ears and tried his best to keep his breathing even. He couldn’t freeze up, not now. Not when Lee needed him to be strong enough for the both of them. Not when there were hoards of angry enemy soldiers surrounding this very building. Unfortunately, the sound was too much for him. His mind flashed images of a few days prior - to the distinct sound that still haunted his ears; the sound of the sharp bang that resulted in Danny’s death. Kent was crying now, rocking back and forth until the gunshots slowly dissipated. 

Even after the last shot was fired, Kent found himself unable to move. Unable to check if their attackers were truly gone. Unable to do anything. Except to sit there with tears streaming down his face, his hands still tightly clamped over his ears. 

“Kent, are you okay?” Lee called out. He cautiously approached his friend and crouched down to his eye level. 

“It’s all my fault,” Kent muttered, continuing to rock back and forth. “It’s all my fault,” He repeated. Lee noticed Kent was breathing much heavier than before. He pursed his lips together and debated what to do. 

“I don’t know what ‘it’ is, but it’s not your fault, man,” Lee spoke, attempting to cheer up his friend. Kent seemed unresponsive, as if he was trapped inside whatever was happening in his head. Lee racked his brain for anything that might help in this situation - had Oma mentioned what to do when your friend was in this state? She mentioned what to do if someone made something that tasted awful but you still wanted to be polite, however, that wouldn’t help much in this scenario. 

C’mon, Lee, he thought to himself, think. For once in your life, think. He let out a groan of frustration when his mind remained empty. He decided he would try and get Kent’s attention. He waved his hand in front of his friend’s face and even snapped a few times. Still, nothing. Not even a twitch or eyeroll.  He took a deep breath and slowly reached his hand towards Kent’s shoulder - silently hoping he wasn’t making a horrible mistake. He knew you were not supposed to touch someone who was experiencing panic - as you might make it worse - but he was running out of options. Lee carefully placed his hand on Kent’s shoulder and waited. The touch seemed to cause Kent to stir. He slowly snapped out of his daze and looked up at Lee, the panic still vivid in his eyes. 

“Kent?” Lee asked. He waited a bit, attempting to see if Kent would respond, before speaking once again, “Are you okay?” 

Lee’s words seemed to slowly seep into Kent’s mind and Kent gave a hesitant nod in response. Lee let out a sigh of relief, releasing a breath he wasn’t sure he was holding and gently squeezing Kent’s shoulder. 

“Okay, good,” Lee acknowledged. He glanced around - noting how suspiciously quiet it all seemed now. There’s no way they would have given up, just like that, was there? It didn’t sit right with Lee. He had a twisting feeling in his gut, as if it was all a trick. He turned back to Kent and explained what he intended to do, “I’m going to check if they’re really gone, okay? You stay here.” Kent replied with another shaky, slightly hesitant nod. 

Lee took a deep breath before pushing himself into a standing position. He gently scooted past Kent and slowly opened the door. He peered outside. To his dismay (and relief), the crowd seemed to have disappeared. Unfortunately, it was still rather dark and Lee no longer had a light source - the two had abandoned the lantern in their rush for safety and it lay discarded on the ground near the site of Lee’s latest fall. He grumbled as he looked at it. It would sure make things easier, as it was getting incredibly hard to see as the night progressed. However, leaving the safehouse seemed like a bad idea. 

Stricken with indecision, Lee pursed his lips together. If they had the lantern, they could properly tend to his wounds - both of which were starting to transition from a dull ache to a throb. He decided that the pros outweigh the cons and carefully stepped out of the building - wincing as he stepped onto his left ankle. He slowly hobbled towards the lantern - which looked closer than it actually was, Lee realized - and silently hoped it wasn’t another trick. He managed to approach the lantern and scoop it into his uninjured arm with ease and began his trek back to the safe house. 

However, a lone figure watched from the shadows. Their piercing eyes shining with rage as their gaze followed Lee - watching him as he slowly trekked towards the entrance of the building. Lee seemed to match the description Misha - the woman who attacked Kent - had described in her final moments. A barely contained rage bubbled beneath their skin, theri fingers twitching with anticipation - itching to avenge their fallen lover, but they waited. They sat patiently - noting the visible limp in Lee’s gait and the awkward angle at which his arm hung. As Lee edged closer to the entrance, they brought the scope of their rifle towards their eye - lining up the shot. 

He stepped one foot over into the entrance of the building and called out to Kent, “I think they’re gone.I even got our lantern back! Everything seemed o-” His words were abruptly cut off as one final bang resounded. The gun fired from somewhere behind Lee and the bullet traveled swiftly. It lodged itself into his side. “-Kay,” Lee continued with a gurgle, a small stream of blood trailing down the corner of his mouth. He swayed forward, collapsing with a distinct thud. As he was laying there, Lee couldn’t help but think about how if he could’ve ran a little faster or gripped the door with his right hand, he would have been able to safely close the door behind him. He would have been alright - for the most part. But there he lay, a fiery pain piercing through his side and coursing through his entire body. He let out a low groan, gritting his teeth. 

“Lee!” Kent called out, looking up upon hearing the sound of Lee falling against the floor. He snapped out of his stupor and rushed to his friend’s side. A small, surprised gasp slipped past his lips as he noted Lee’s state. His own adrenaline seemed to kick in and Kent used all his strength to pull Lee inside, promptly shutting the door behind him - likely ripping the stitches on his arms in the process. He let out a small grunt of pain but continued pulling Lee towards him - propping his friend up against the wall. 

“No, no, no,” Kent protested as he inspected Lee’s side, his stomach churning at the redness that was seeping into the fabric, staining Lee’s jacket. “Not again. Please, not again.” Kent desperately tried to keep himself calm, placing a hand on his chest and trying not to fall into another moment of panic-induced inaction. He paced around the room and tried to think of something to do. He couldn’t lose another friend. Kent was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of another resounding gunshot from outside, followed by a frantic pounding on the door. He yelped, his eyes widening - had they come back to finish the boys off? Kent hoped not. 

“Open the door,” A familiar voice called out, pounding on the outside once again before attempting to jostle the handle and speaking again, “It’s me, lads. I’m here to help ye.” 

“Willy?” Kent called out, skeptically. 

“Yes, lad!” Willy spoke, his frustration growing the longer the door remained closed. “Let me in an’ I’ll explain everythin’.” 

Kent cautiously approached the door, cracking it open the slightest amount to check if it was actually Willy. When he confirmed it was, he let out a small sigh of relief and opened the door - allowing Willy to enter before closing it once more. 

“Willy,” Kent started, gripping the older man by the sleeve of his shoulder, “I’m so glad to see you. Lee’s hurt.” He explained as he motioned to Lee, who was reaching across his body and clamping his uninjured arm over his side, his face slightly pale and nauseous as he tried to stifle the bleeding.

“Ah, I was worried somethin’ like this would happen. That’s why I followed ye, boys,” Willy replied, a small grumble present in his voice. He approached Lee, crouched down, and asked Lee to move his hand so he could inspect it. He grimaced, sucking air in through his teeth.

“Aye, that one’s quite nasty, lad,” Willy spoke, his voice sounding solemn. He fished around in his pocket before pulling out a small cotton pad and a general antiseptic. He turned back to Lee and sighed before adding, “This is going to sting.” 

Lee gave a small nod and gritted his teeth. Willy’s words, however, didn’t prepare him for the intense wave of pain he received as the antiseptic was placed against his side. He let out a loud, pained groan and attempted to jerk away from Willy’s grasp. It felt like his entire body was on fire. Lee had always been clumsy and managed to injure himself. He - more often than not - squirmed as his grandmother placed antiseptic on his cuts, but this was nothing like a small scrape on his knee. He let out another pained cry, tears causing his vision to blur. The pain seemed to overtake him. 

Lee tried to distract himself from the pain by glancing over at Kent. However, Lee noticed a faint silhouette behind him. He blinked, trying to focus his vision. Lee wasn’t sure if it was delirium or if what he was seeing was true, but he could’ve sworn that the silhouette resembled someone…familiar. He searched his brain, trying to place their name, but his mind wasn’t able to form a coherent thought. Instead, Lee watched the figure shift - the edges of their form seeming to wisp and reform every few seconds - and took in their appearance. Dark, shoulder length brown hair, a permanent frown and deep worry lines, and the faintest trace of stubble littering across their face. They wore a uniform similar to Lee’s own and had something gently clasped in their hands. A bouquet. Recognition washed over Lee and he let out a surprised gasp.

“Danny?” Lee whispered, extending his hand outwards in the direction of the figure. Danny smiled. Tears began streaming down Lee’s face once again - though this time they were tears of happiness. He waited for me, Lee thought to himself. He glanced over at Kent, noting the worried expression on his friend’s features. 

“Kent, look!” Lee called out, pointing in the direction where Danny was standing. “Danny’s back. He’s.. he’s alright.” 

Kent turned and looked, though all he saw was an empty corner of the room. There was a blank wall, the faded wallpaper peeling off at the edges, but no person. 

“Lee, what are you talking about?” Kent asked, his brows furrowing together in concern. He glanced back at Lee and shook his head, “There’s nothing there.” 

How can he not see him? Lee thought to himself, a frown spreading across his lips, he’s right there. He glanced back at the spot where Danny had been moments before and found it jarringly empty., He desperately scanned around - searching for where Danny might’ve wandered off too. He’s here, I know it, he thought to himself once again. Lee’s eyes landed on a spot closer to him and Danny came into focus once again - his smile comforting and inviting. Danny’s lips moved, but no sound came out. Lee narrowed his eyes, trying to determine what was being said. By the looks of it, it was his name. Danny tried once again, still mouthing the same word over and over. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. One after another, constantly. 

“Lee!” Kent called, waving his hand in front of Lee’s face and causing him to shake out of his stupor. Lee looked at Kent, confused. 

“Oh, thank Yoba,” Kent spoke, relieved. He let out an exasperated breath and added, “I’ve been calling your name over and over. It’s been like… five minutes, dude.” He paused and looked at Lee - noticing how he kept staring at a distant point just beyond his shoulder, “Are you alright? You seem…distracted.” 

“Yeah..” Lee mumbled, though he didn’t meet Kent’s gaze. He kept staring intently at the corner of the room, as if he was watching something. Kent turned to look once again and still found nothing. After some time, Lee spoke once again, “Yeah.. yeah.. I’m fine.” 

Danny smiled at him once again. Lee smiled back. Danny slowly approached and rested a hand against Lee’s cheek, his thumb brushing over the curve of Lee’s nose before landing on one of his dimples. His touch felt cool - too cool and almost alien. Lee felt the hairs on his arms stand up, a shiver traveling down his spine. A small part of Lee’s brain understood that it was highly unlikely, but that part was outvoted by the larger part that missed Danny more deeply than Lee knew. Lee wanted to believe it was real. He closed his eyes and leaned into Danny’s palm. However, when Lee opened his eyes, Danny was - once again - no longer present. 

Lee was brought back into the present by another wave of pain coursing through his body. He let out a low groan, gritting his teeth. Despite Willy’s best efforts, the wound continued gushing everytime Lee moved - and Lee was now thrashing, trying to pry himself out of Willy’s ironclad grip. 

“Son, you are not makin’ this easy!” Willy scolded, placing his hand on Lee’s shoulder to keep him in place. He glanced at Kent before motioning towards Lee’s legs, “Kent, help me out, lad. He’s goin’ to hurt himself worse with all that movin’ around!” Kent’s eyes widened, though he scooted closer and desperately tried not to get kicked in the face. He carefully clasped his hands around Lee’s ankles before trying to calm his friend down.

“Lee, I know it hurts,” He started, looking at Lee pleadingly before adding, “But you need to stay still, okay? Willy knows what he’s doing.” I hope, Kent thought, leaving that thought unsaid. He trusted Willy, and he knew the man had experienced things similar to this all the time, but there was a nagging suspicion that Willy was just flying blind and doing whatever he thought might work. He gulped and shook that thought from his mind. It’s better not to think like that, he decided. 

Lee groaned once again as his lifeforce soaked through the cotton pad, slowly seeping on the surrounding skin and fabric. Nothing seemed to be working and Kent was quite worried. He squeezed his eyes shut and mumbled a small prayer to Yoba - begging for everything to be okay - but he didn’t feel the familiar comfort of the deity. Kent once again remembered that this was outside of their domain, their control. He sniffled. When Kent opened his eyes, it appeared that Lee had calmed down and ceased his escape attempt, though he was once again staring at the corner of the room. Kent frowned. He couldn’t fathom what was possibly so interesting about it - it was just a boring corner, filled with dust and spiderwebs. Whatever Lee saw seemed to comfort him, somehow. 

Everything seemed calm for a moment - far too calm. Kent knew something was wrong. His gut twisted and nagged at him. Just then, Lee started violently coughing - more blood dribbling down his lips, staining the skin with a deep red pigment. 

“No, no, no,” He protested. Kent reached out and used his sleeve to wipe away the spillage, tears of protest threatening to pour down his face. As he touched Lee’s skin, Kent noticed it was burning - as if he had developed a fever. Kent bit his lower lip, sniffling as he looked at Lee once more. He couldn’t believe he had been so preoccupied with Lee’s behavior to notice how faint he looked or how feverishly warm his skin had gotten. He frowned, though panic began rising in his voice as he spoke again, “Not again. I can’t lose you, too.” 

“Kent, I’m fin-” Lee tried to reassure his friend, though he was interrupted by another coughing fit, the blood bubbling in his throat and spilling from his lips with a low gurgle. Kent shook his head in protest, wrapping his arms around Lee and hugging him tightly. Lee’s skin was on fire now - and it felt hot enough to burn Kent’s own skin - but he couldn’t bear to pull away. 

Lee allowed Kent to hug him, though he glanced towards Danny once again. The boy gave a small, solemn nod before extending his hand. Oh, how Lee wanted to reach out and grasp it - to feel Danny’s skin press against him once more. He missed Danny terribly. Lee glanced back at Kent, a small frown slipping onto his lips. Part of Lee knew that this would be it. If he reached out and took Danny’s hand, he wouldn’t come back. Would it matter though, he wondered. His time on this planet would always be limited, so why prolong it? At this very moment, Lee knew.  He was dying. Yet, he didn’t seem afraid. In fact, quite the opposite. Lee found himself comforted; comforted by the fact that everything would be alright - eventually -, comforted by the fact that he’d see Danny again, and even comforted by the fact that he knew - even if it hurt in the moment - Kent would eventually forget him entirely. 

“Hey, Kent?” Lee spoke as he continued looking at Kent, though Lee’s own frown seemed to disappear.

“Yeah, Lee?” Kent replied shakily, glancing up at his friend. 

“I’m not going to sugar coat this but,” Lee started, his expression turning solemn as Kent met his eyes. He took a deep breath before continuing, “I think I’m dying… and.. I want you to have these.” Lee used the last of his strength to remove the chain from around his neck - the one that contained the I.D. tags of Danny and himself - and gently shoved it in Kent’s direction, forcing his friend’s fingers to clasp around it.

“No!” Kent protested, shaking his head. His voice rose as raw emotion coated his next words, “You’re not dying, okay?” He gripped the necklace and tried to return it to Lee, however, he was met with a disapproving head shake. Lee pushed the necklace back towards Kent.

“Keep ‘em,” Lee instructed firmly. His voice softened as he spoke the next words, “I won’t be needing them anymore.” 

“You aren’t dying, Lee. Not on my watch,” Kent spoke once again, though his words came out shaky and uncertain. He gulped, trying not to believe what was right in front of him. He began rambling, mostly to try and convince himself, “You’re going to be okay. Willy and I.. we’ll carry you back to camp ourselves if we have to. You’re going to make it back. The nurses are going to patch you up - everything will be fine.” 

“Kent,” Lee spoke, interrupting Kent’s ramble, and shook his head sadly. He spoke once again, a small, knowing sigh slipping past his lips, “No, Kent. I’m dying, I know it.” 

“No,” Kent protested, though, deep down, he knew Lee was right. He shook his head, as if that would make the reality of the situation any less truthful. “I won’t let you. I need you to stay with me, Lee. Please.” 

Lee smiled at Kent’s words. He glanced over Kent’s shoulder once again and noticed Danny giving him another nod and a warm, inviting smile that read “Come with me, Lee.” He gave a small nod in response to Danny before turning back to Kent. 

“I’ll say hi to Danny for you,” Lee replied. As the words slipped past his lips, Lee relaxed into Kent’s arms. Kent watched his friend, tearing up as Lee’s eyes unfocused and the light behind them began to dim before extinguishing completely. 

Kent sobbed and pulled Lee close to his chest, cradling his friend's body as the warmth began to slowly disappear. Tears streamed down his face once again and he let out a low, guttural cry of deep rooted agony - as if all of Kent’s grief and sorrow that had been slowly bubbling beneath the surface since his father died combined and pushed itself out of his system in one swift motion. He gripped Lee tightly, his arms shaking as he desperately tried to hold on to what little life was left in his friend. It was a fruitless effort. 

Willy watched the scene, his own expression growing solemn. He turned to Kent, placing a gentle and caring hand on his shoulder before speaking, “He’s gone, lad. I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t believe that! Not for once second,” Kent protested. He gently sat Lee down and tried to perform CPR, more tears streaming down his face. “Come on, Lee. Don’t leave me. Not like this. Please,” Kent pleaded, pumping his hands against Lee’s chest harshly. Lee didn’t respond. 

“Come on, man,” Kent pleaded once again. He closed his eyes before speaking again, “When I open my eyes, you’re going to be fine. This will all be one of your stupid jokes and we’ll laugh about it.” Kent opened his eyes and glanced at Lee’s still figure. The stillness was the most jarring thing about this whole ordeal. Lee had never been still, always bouncing around and teeming with energy and life. Stillness didn’t suit him. Another sob racked Kent’s chest, causing his whole body to shake with emotion. 

“Kent,” Willy spoke, his voice full of compassion. He extended his arms. Kent crawled into them and buried his face in the crook of Willy’s neck. He gave a small sigh, wrapping his arms around Kent protectively, before speaking once again, “He’s not comin’ back, son.”

[albentelisa]

Hi! So, was there any headcannon or theory you had of Merlin in Trollhunters while writing Mirrored Conviction's? Because he could easily be seen as the villain given how it looked like he manipulated Jim when he was trying to make him into a half troll if Wizards hadn't shown why he did that.

Hi, sorry for the delay with the response - I've been rather busy lately. So, without further ado let's proceed to the question.

Honestly, I've never viewed Merlin as a villain. Yes, he totally sucks as a person, and even the fact that he acknowledged Douxie in Wizards changes nothing. On the other hand, I find it interesting that a deeply flawed character like Merlin is one on the good side (and has always been).

And now to some headcanons (which I also use while writing my fics):

Merlin is commonly disliked in the magic community because he's arrogant and mostly acts according to what he considers the most beneficial to his goal (which is humanity's survival). Obviously, that led to countless situations where he outright abandoned his allies when there was an option to save them while jeopardizing the plan. The situation with Jim in Wizards proves it good enough and I feel that one wasn't the first or only time Merlin did that. And obviously, that wouldn't give him much love from everyone else (and Zoe hates him for a reason too).

Merlin led both Arthur and Morgana to their downfall or at least, partially responsible for that. Why do I think so? Let's start with Arthur. I believe that Merlin to Arthur was the same kind of figure Blinky was to Jim - a mentor, an older friend, and kind of a father. However, unlike Blinky who can always find the right words for Jim in his darkest and lowest moments, Merlin either didn't know what to do or outright ignored the problem (somehow, I more lean towards the latter). It seems like after Gwen's death, Morgana was the only one trying to reach her brother. If Merlin had joined her, everything might have ended differently.

As for Morgana, instead of leading her and helping to find control over her shadow magic, Merlin tried to correct her magic, most likely putting her within some strict regulations. He obviously finds shadow magic vile and corruptive, refusing to see that it might be not different from a knife - a tool that could be used both for good and evil. Obviously, Morgana lost all the respect for her master she had most likely possessed initially as Merlin had never listened to her or her opinion.

Merlin is also incredibly stubborn and frigid. He lacks adaptability and fails to either have some backup plans or adjust his plans on the spot. That one is his clear weakness.

And another of his problems is that he's a genius and has convinced himself that he knows better than everyone else. It led to the mindset that only his plans were right and everyone else just told him some unhinged and dumb stuff that would never work (which could be as far from the real state of things as possible). Merlin also genuinely believes that if he cannot do something, no one will be able to do a thing and that if something didn't work for him, it wouldn't work for someone else.

So? Merlin may be intelligent, but he isn't wise. He's too short-sighted to see the bigger picture and too stuck to his own beliefs to see alternatives.

There's some curious detail about Nari. It makes some sense that she came to Merlin after abandoning the Arcane Order because despite all his flaws he was probably the best when it came to giving her shelter. However, Nari also seemingly treats Merlin nicely, despite being his enemy for a long time before coming to him. It may have something to do with Nari's personality, but I also have a headcanon that Nari knew Merlin before he grew to become the unpleasant person he is now. Nari is hopeful, so, perhaps, she still believed he could change his ways.

And now, there's some heavy speculation part. The scene when Merlin manipulated Jim made me think that Merlin was projecting his own experiences there. He seems to be the kind of person who absolutely loathes their younger self. Most likely, Jim was unlucky enough to remind Merlin of his younger days.

I feel that Merlin lost some dear people during his young years, most likely because of his own reckless actions. He probably thought that if he took some precautions it might end differently. That is why he chose to force Jim to undergo the transformation. In Merlin's eyes that might even count as some kind of redemption for his youth's mistakes. He sees nothing wrong with that and believes it is a good thing and that Jim is simply too young and naive to understand and will come to appreciate it later. And obviously, Merlin believes that ruining Jim's everyday life wasn't a big deal. To his mind, it was an adequate sacrifice. Well, Merlin simply forgets that Jim is not him or even his younger self.

I had a discussion with a friend once, who claimed that younger Merlin was like Douxie, but personally, I feel that Douxie reminds Merlin of the close person he had lost in the past (best friend, perhaps?). That would explain why Merlin ordered Douxie to stay away from everything until he woke up - so that Douxie didn't end in some kind of trouble. I feel that Merlin was scared to lose Douxie, because it would be a second time for him.

[sweet-villain]

The Last Wish~ B.H

@luna-munson83 asked:

Hey darling. How have you been?

I don’t know if you open for request. I have idea for Billy Hargrove x gf!reader.

So… I been read a lot everytime when reader took her life for Eddie or Steve but what about for Billy while battling the Mind Flayers? Yes I know it’s angst, like I said your writing is incredibly.

When Billy hold Eleven down the ground and R notices that the Mind Flayers about kill El/Billy and she decides to jump in to save them and Billy got big heartbroken.

I haven’t read anything like that yet. Just take your time if you accept it or not, no worries. I know you have tones to writing🙃

Author's Note: I've been doing my best sweets, honestly. Things are hectic at work and at home but I'll be okay <3

Tags : : @ceriseheaven @josephquinnlover0 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @stillfalling30minslater @alyisdead @witchy-munson

My Master List is in This Area

Angst

Warning : Reader's death

Heads turned when you stepped out of his car with your bag swung over your shoulder as you looked around the parking lot. You spots Nancy from where she stood with her books in her arms as she sends you a small smile but her smile disappears when the other door opens. Billy steps out of the car with a cigarette in his mouth making his way around the car.

Fingers snapped in front of your face bringing your attention away from looking at Nancy to your boyfriend.

" What?"

He stomped out of his cigarette with the sole of his shoe turning his head to see where your sight set on. He chuckled, "You and Wheeler are friends or something?"

" She's in a few of my classes, and yes Billy. She's a friend"

"You and pretty Miss Perfect are friends?" Tommy snorted as he walked with Carol around his arm as they walked up to you and Billy.

" Yeah, is that a problem?" Tommy shook his head. " You wanna be friend with someone like her? She dumped Harrington for that loser Byers."

" Piss off" you grumbled pushing past him making sure you hit your shoulder. with his. Carol popper her gum as she glared at you. Billy followed after you, catching up.

" Don't know why your friends with those two" you mumbled walking inside the school. The halls were busy with students getting to their lockers but heads turned when you and Billy walked in. It was just another day of school but dating Billy Hargrove had it perks and non perks.

" They aren't really my friends, they follow me because you know" he leaned his shoulder against the locker next to your, " I am the new Keg King, everyone wants to be around me, I have a cool car and the prettiest girl on my arm." He smirks while you roll your eyes with a smile on your face.

" You think I'm just pretty?" He nods, leaning in once you closed the locker door getting your book out. " You're mine and you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on"

" Much better, pretty boy" you lean up on your toes to kiss his cheek but he moved his head as his lips met yours. You squealed when his hand reached down to grab a hold of your ass.

" Billy!" he laughed as he tugged you closer. The bell rang before the two of you could do anything else. " I'm going to be late for class" he rolled his eyes.

" You're such a good girl"

" Just how you like it, Hargrove" He smirked as he walked you to class taking your book from your hands as he carried them.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You sat in the seat next to Steve Harrington, one of your friends and Billy had to tolerate him when you were around. The both of them disliked each other. You felt a poke on your arm when a note slide over.

" Why are you with a guy like, Hargrove?" You turned your head to look at Steve in question but he was too busy drawing little drawings on top of his desk. But he stopped feeling the burn of your eyes on the side of his head. He didn't turn to look at you.

Because he treats me right, adores me and makes me happy.

You slide the note back to Steve who took in his hand and read it, scoffing. He didn't write anything else down. Steve never understood how someone like Billy Hargrove had caught your attention of you.

The bell rang before Steve could pass a note back to you but before you walked out of the class room, Steve spoke up.

" He's nothing but trouble. You deserve better"

" You don't know anything about my relationship, Harrington" he puts his hands and walked through the desks to get to the front door. It wasn't easy being friends with Steve when you were dating Billy, the both of them had never seen eye to eye.

You made your way out of the class turning just in time to bump into your boyfriend.

" I thought you'd be waiting for me by the door" you frowned as you looked up at him.

" The teacher wanted to see me after class or some shit" He shrugged, " Sorry" he mumbled. Billy wasn't the one who usually apologized. He's still getting used to that.

" You're here now" you leaned up to kiss him on the lips, he kissed you back pulling you flush to his body. Steve happened to walk by to see this and scoffed. Billy pulled away hearing it, " Something you gotta say, Harrington?"

Steve was about to say something when he saw the pleading look on your face. " That's what I thought" Billy says. You tugged on Billy's jacket bringing his attention back to you as he wrapped an arm around you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You knew the monsters that have been crawling into Hawkins. How? Dustin Henderson and Steve Harrington. Those two reeled you in on what's been going on and now you discovered there was something new lurking around Hawkins.

You sat on your couch in the living room waiting for Billy to pick you up for your date. It was getting to that time that he should be here. He had told you he was taking you somewhere special. Who knew Billy Hargrove could be a romantic? In his own way.

It felt like hours when you stood up from the couch to look at the time. You have been waiting for Billy to arrive for almost an hour? Where was he? You walked back out to the living room, looking out the window in hopes to hear the sound of his Camaro but that sound never came.

You were getting upset and worried at the same time. Has Neil done something? Was Max okay? You paced back and forth in your living room before racing to the phone to call to see if he was home. The lime kept ringing and ringing and ringing. He wasn't home.

The hour turned into two, you rushed out of the house with your keys and grabbed onto your bike. You were more worried about Billy than ruining the dress you were wearing.

When you arrive at Billy's, the house was dark and his Camaro wasn't in the driveway. You dropped the bike on the ground and walked over to his window to see if he was in there or anyone was in there. The room was pitch black and you can see the light falling onto his bed.

" Where are you?" you mumbled to yourself. Biting on your bottom lip looking over the house one more time before grabbing your bike as you headed back home.

Billy never picked you up for your date.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You knew he was working at the pool today, and when you walked through the doors. There was sitting on the life guard chair with a blue sleeveless shirt, his red trucks but he looked dazed. His hair was not in his usual curls.

" Billy Hargrove" you called out to him. All heads turned at the sound of your voice spotting you on the side with your hands on your hips as you glared over at your boyfriend. " Care to explain where you've been? I've been worried sick."

Billy didn't even look at you but got off the chair as he headed toward the storage room. He wobbled on his feet with his head hang. " Billy?" you called out to him. He hasn't heard you as he continued to walk to his destination.

You followed him inside.

" Billy? Baby?" His back was to you when you called out to him. Billy had heard you call out to him. But he was afraid when he tuned around on who you would see.

" Leave me alone" he says, finally speaking up. You took a few steps towards him placing your hand on the small of his back. He felt your touch and tensed up.

" Baby-" he snapped his head towards you as he turned around, " I said leave me alone!" he shouted with fist by his sides. Flash of hurt came across your eyes, he saw it. He wished he didn't yell at you but this wasn't the time. It was dangerous.

" Okay" you nodded, softly turning around heading towards the door.You swallowed the lump in your throat. Why was he acting like this? Have you done something wrong? Your mind ran with ideas on what could of you had done?

You found nothing.

Billy wanted you to get away from him. He didn't want to hurt you. He would make him hurt you. He wasn't about to let him hurt you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You hummed one of the Metallica songs you have heard in your boyfriends car when your eyes widen who sat on the edge of your bed. His curls were beautiful as ever, his blue eyes snapped towards you when you entered your room. He was dressed in a button down blue shirt with a pair of jeans.

" What a pretty little thing you are" he says. It didn't really sound like your boyfriend. The tone was cold and distant. " Billy?" you asked. He chuckled as he shook his head.

" Dear Billy boy has been hiding such a pretty girl like you, I can see why" his eyes ran over your legs and up your body. Whoever this was felt uninvited and cold.

" Who are you?" you wrap your arms around yourself, stepping back as he gotten off your bed. " Now, now. Be a good girl and tell me your name." He took a step towards you. You took a step back until he caged you in with his body.

The blue eyes were darker, and you took notice of the veins on his face and arms. " What happened to you?" you asked, reaching up to touch his face but he flinched back as if your touch was going to burn him.

" I've become better" he answered you. " Now, your name girl" he snarled. " I will not ask you again"

" Y/N" you mumbled. " Billy Hargrove's girlfriend" He chuckled as he took a step back with his eyes roaming up and down, licking his lips.

" You're really are such a pretty little thing, aren't you?" He licked his lips once again. You felt really exposed to him.

" What have you done with my Billy?" your voice cracks.

" Oh little one, there is no more Billy. There is only me"

You swallowed the lump in your throat, " W-what should I call you then?"

" Flayed or yours" He smirks seeing your eyes widen. " But for now, I have placed to be, things to do. I'll be back for you" he blows you a kiss making his way to your window.

" Are you ever going to give me my boyfriend back?" He looked back at you with one leg out the widow. " I am your boyfriend, what are you talking about silly girl?"

You watch him hop down from the window on the ground with ease as he walked across the street to the Camaro. You had a bad, a really bad feeling about this.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You spy the shotgun in Nancy's hands as you stood by her side with Jonathan.

" You really are planning to kill him?" your voice cracked. Her lips were in a thin line as she nodded her head, " if it comes to it. You know I care about you, but this is not your boyfriend."

" You don't know him like I do, Nance" you sighed, with anger, " You don't know anything about him." She opened her mouth to respond but you didn't let her as you walked away to join the kids.

" It will be okay" Max says as she takes a hold of your hand, her eyes had so much unsureness but her words didn't calm you down.If everything was going to be okay, everyone including you were going to be lucky you come out alive in this all.

" You know, you've made him better. You've made him happy, it's been a long time since I've seen him like this" she says looking up a you. Max and you have gotten closer since you started to date Billy.

"... and thank you for being there for me, you know. It's nice" she adds. " You're really like a big sister to me" she says. Her eyes flash worry. She is saying this like it's something it's the last thing she will tell you. You could die. She could die. Billy could die. Anyone could die.

Your eyes brim with tears causing an alert on her face.

"Hey, it will be okay. I won't let anything happen to him" she squeezes. your hand in reassurance. But you knew it was too late to fix anything.

" This is out of our control, Max. You know it. I know it" A tear slide down your cheek, you were never going to get your Billy back. She knew it. You knew it. That hurt more than anything. You were never going to hear the words I love you from him or have him hold you or hear his laughter or see his smile or hear him whine about Steve or have him at all. Your Billy was gone. Long gone.

Suddenly on top, the glass has shattered and you covered Max with your own body to protect her. The Mind Flyer broke it's way through the roof and made it's way into the mall. It was destroying everything in it's path.

You ran with Max through the halls as the lights flickered above you. Then you stopped in your tracks seeing your boyfriend.

" Pretty little thing" he licked his lips at the sight of you, " now where have you been?" he smirked. But he looked so different, this wasn't the Billy you knew and loved. The Billy you knew was happier.

His body was shining with sweats, his eyes darker and he was covered in blood splatter too.

He took a step towards you and Max. This wasn't the person you loved. The Mindflyer completely took the man you loved away from you. Your heart broke at the sight of him.

" Billy, listen to me, your name is Billy Hargrove, you live in Hawkins Indiana. Billy please-" Max started to say before he pushed her aside, she landed with a thud on the ground.

"Billy.." your eyes widen as he took a step towards you, your hand reach out for something hard and sharp before knocking it across his head. He stumbled a few steps back, shaking his head as he blinked his eyes. While he did that, you grabbed Max and run down the hall with her in your arms. You were so scared to look him in the way. This wasn't the Billy you knew. He was gone.

Lucas began screaming something about fireworks to harm the monster in the mall. Billy made his way over to Eleven, while you put Max down behind the wall.

She didn't need so see any of this.

While Eleven had her hand on Billy's cheek, you eyed the monster as it stood in the middle of the mall. Your eyes dropped down to Billy, tears in your eyes and stepped up looking behind the corners of the upper level of your friends, they all were throwing fire works.

You stood before the Mind Flyer. It's arms and legs were crashing everything in it's path. You knew what you had to do, your friends needed the distraction. You needed to do this. For them. For Billy. Max needed Billy. Whatever he was.

The Mind Flyers arms reached out to get to Billy to reach Eleven when you stepped in the way catching it with your hands, screaming out.

" You'll have to go through me first" you spatted at the monster. The Monster roared as his other arm punctured your side, and then to the other causing such a pain that you never imagined in your life.

All you thought about was your Billy.

Max would have the piece of Billy that was still there. They didn't need you.

The monster lifted you up in the air, Max had awaken as she screamed your name. There was pitch black at first before you saw light, the smile and laughter of your boyfriend fills your head.

Billy hadn't noticed what you have done until he heard Max scream for you. Eleven rose on her elbows to look at the sight of you punctured by the Mind Flyer, there was nothing they could do to save you.

Billy screamed seeing the Mind Flyer drop you on the ground like a rag doll and blood began to form at your sides. The monster thrashed around. Everyone was going to be safe now. Billy and Max both ran to your side, not caring if anything else would hurt them.

"I-I love you" your eyes met Billy's face, those blue eyes belonged to your boyfriend. You saw it. He was there. His eyes brim with tears as he took your hand in his bringing it up to his lips, " D-don't go" his voice cracked. " I-I can't live without you."

" Y-you can, y-you will" Max cried as she took your other hand in hers. You felt her tears falling down on your hand.

" Y-your safe.." was the last words the both of them heard out of your mouth as your eyes stared straight at the ceiling. You wished that you weren't leaving him, and Max. You wanted to stay.

Billy screamed as his head landed on your stomach, he didn't care that he was getting your blood on him. " Come back to me, please!" he pleaded.

That day Billy Hargrove's heart broke into pieces.

He wished you'd come back to him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

He stared at the words written on your game with a cigarette in his mouth, he had flowers in his hands and a teddy bear in the other. The Teddy Bear had a similar jacket that he wore, it was one of the gifts he gotten you and never was able to give it to you before he got possessed.

" I miss you" he says. His feels the tears brim his eyes as he looks away.

" Why did you go and have to be the hero? Why did you have to leave me?" he asked, his voice cracking. " Fuck" the cigarette fell from his mouth, he stomped on it not really wanting to smoke anymore as he brushed away his tears with the back of his hand.

This was really hard for him. The gang has all mourned you but it was Billy and Max who took it the hardest. Billy has gotten better since the whole possession by the Mind Flyer, he was part of the gang now.

That's what you would of wanted.

" She loved you, you know?" he heard Max's voice next to him. He didn't hear her sneak up on him. " Yeah, I know shit bird" he nodded.

" Did you love her?" Billy glanced down at his step sister with a small smile on his face.

" With all my heart" Max smiled.

" She made you soft" He rolled his eyes but he knew it was true. You did make him soft and you brought the best out of him. " I miss her too, you know? She was like a sister to me"

Billy knelt down as he placed the flowers and the teddy bear on top of your grave. That's when Max spotted it, along the necklace he usually wears is your ring on it. The one that you always wore. She thought it was sweet.

" Why do you have that?" she asked pointing to your ring. He glance down, twirling it in between his fingers and looked up at her.

" That way she's always with me"

Max left Billy alone to have his time with you as he stared at your grave stone.

" I really thought you'd be the one I take back with me to California. You'd love it there, like we always talked about. You would loved the waves. I don't know how I am going to do this without you, I love you pretty girl and always will" He stood up from the ground, keeping one hand on the grave stone for a moment.

" I'll be back tomorrow" he says looking down as he turned around to make his way to the Camaro.

[blizzoops]

Y'all, I need to rant about my latest hyperfixation. I stumbled upon the manga, "How Do We Relationship?" At first I was like aw, this is a cute and fun little yuri story, with a healthy helping of spice. But HOLY SHIT IT GOT TOO REAL TOO FAST. It's good, but got damn does it hurt lol.

It's got it's fun moments too, just look at how they meet, I love these two (rant below)

As a hopeless romantic I have read many a romance manga/webtoon, both het and yuri, and nothing has ever come to as painfully realistic as this. Most of them are just cute little stories of the main characters slowly working towards the point where they finally start going out, and then that's it. Happily ever after. I mean those are fine, but the characters and story are too shallow for me to really get invested in.

But this manga... this manga starts off with them dating right away. It focuses on the struggles of being in a relationship and it is soooooo painfully realistic. I can't count the number times where I was just like, "ahhh, fuck, yep, been there," or like, "ahhhhhhh shit, I had this conversation," "damn this stings lol," but like, in the best way lol, because it's relatable!

I just read an interview with Tamifull (the author) and how she didn't want to necessarily market this as yuri, and wanted to create a story exploring relationships themselves, so that even het people could get into. So mission accomplished I guess cuz even with my limited het experiences I'm still feeling pain lol. Don't get me wrong, there are times when the difficulties of being in a queer relationship are brought up, but it's not the focus.

The MCs go through a lot of self-reflection, guilt, regret. I'm gonna try to be subtle here but skip this paragraph if you don't want spoilers. Like, you care about someone and want to be honest with them, but there's parts of yourself that you're afraid to show, because you're scared if your partner see it's they'll hate you. But then that just ends up building a wall between you. Loving someone deeply but realizing that you're incompatible, and staying together is just hurting you both.

You don't really grow until you've experienced some real pain, and then learn not to make the same mistakes again. And I say the same mistake cuz they make other mistakes along the way lol, that's just life! It's insane how much the MCs have matured since the first chapter.

But yeah, I can't sing this Tamifull's praises enough. Not only is she masterful at writing characters, but she does everything herself with no assistants???? Wtf???? This is the first manga I've read and really got invested in a very long time. Lately it's been webtoons for me cuz they're short and for a lot of them I scroll through pretty quickly, cuz I'm just so busy. But I'm not kidding when I say I binged the whole thing in like 12 hours straight, then went back and reread some chapters lol. And now I get to painfully wait for the biweekly updates...

Anyway, if you made it this far, I highly recommend you read "How Do We Relationship." I got a Viz subscription just for this lol, it's just 2 bucks so no biggie. This has easily become one of my favorite manga of all time. And I hope it stays that way by the time it wraps up I'm looking at you Bleach...

[cynicalone94]

Fanfiction Master List

Hey guys,

I've been a whump fan since I was a kid. My primary mode of expression is through writing fanfiction.

Most of my work is in the Chicago PD fandom with Jay Halstead as my number one target. I also write fiction here and there for Marvel, Brooklyn 99, and 9-1-1 Lone Star.

Chicago PD

I Don't Have Any Beneficiaries Anyway

Alternate Ending to 2x03 Weigh Station. When Jay fails to get the upper hand and is traded for Alex Price, the team scrambles to find him before its too late.

Just Another Day

Jay gets hurt during a raid. So just another day for the Intelligence Unit.

Rather Take a Bullet Than Get a Flu Shot

Friendly teasing goes too far. And just why does Jay hate needles so much?

Cost of Doing Business

A trip to Med to meet his brother for lunch becomes more dangerous than Jay had anticipated.

He's My Brother

Will knows about the death of Roy Walton and the cover up and he's not happy with his brother's new wife.

Living Donation

With his daughter's life on the line, a rich businessman makes a risky decision. But did he make the right choice?

Your Boy Tough

An annual taser recertification course brings up bad memories for Jay.

In The Wind

In a dense forest, sometimes even ten feet is too far.

I'd Rather Stay At Work

Jay actually admits he's sick. It doesn't go well.

Imbalance of Power

Sometimes the easiest way to make someone talk is to give them the upper hand.

Sacrifices

How do you judge whether a sacrifice is "worth it"?

Where He Should Be Safe

A sixteen part series of Jay having a bad time in places where he should be able to feel safe.

The Past Has a Price

When someone from Jay's past returns to take Will hostage, will the brothers make it out of this one alive?

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Tag to 2x20 The Number of Rats. Gregory Yates becomes aware that Will Halstead is being questioned and sees an opportunity to shift the blame. **Update 11/19 Tags and warnings have been updated to include rape/noncon elements. It's kind of implied with the Tag to 2x20 but better safe than sorry. There's nothing explicit in this story but it is mentioned.

Upstead One Shots

A series of oneshots featuring Upstead and their beautiful family.

Up-Hill

Tag to my story In The Name of Justice. They might not be on the best terms but when Jay has a panic attack, Will can still find a way to bring him home. Pre-series.

Repaid in Kind

Tag to 9x13 Still Water. After Dylan was arrested, they thought all that was left to combat was Hailey's guilt over not saving Lisa. Turns out there was more.

Tripwire

Pre-series story from Jay's days in Afghanistan. Tag to Guilty Until Proven Innocent. How did Jay recognize the sound of the tripwire in time to dive out of the way?

What's Your Verdict?

The final day in court to wrap up a case that Intelligence has invested so much in takes a surprising turn. Hailey is put in a difficult position and every choice that she makes can only hurt her husband more.

Witness Tampering

The mundane lead up to a trial suddenly becomes a race against time when Hailey's husband is kidnapped to keep her from testifying. Will they find Jay in time? Or will a dangerous criminal evade justice yet again?

Chrysalis

An on the job injury changes Jay's life forever and he struggles to navigate the aftermath.

I Don't Know Me

Jay (at least that's what she said his name was) wakes up after a serious head injury with no memory of who he is or what happened to him. He's relieved when a woman shows up, telling him his name and claiming to be his wife. Finally, someone to fill in the blanks and answer some questions. Only… something about Meredith doesn't seem quite right and he isn't sure he can trust her. But what other choice does he have?

Friends in Strange Places

Jay is taken hostage by drug dealers when a sting goes sideways. But when they find out that his name isn't Ryan Clarke things take an interesting turn.

Missed Opportunities

Have you ever watched an episode of Chicago PD and been disappointed that Jay wasn't more seriously hurt? Well then you're a monster but you're also in the right place because so am I. Alternate episode endings focused on the idea of increasing Jay Halstead Whump.

Childhood Secrets

When Jay learns that the man who molested him as a child is out of prison and that two of the man's other victims have been brutally raped and murdered since his release, he's pretty sure it's not a coincidence. But will he survive long enough to prove it?

Missing PTSD Moments

Missing moments from the show where the events taking place really should have triggered Jay's PTSD. Starting with the ambush from the opening of Forty-Caliber Bread Crumb.

Stigma

When a minor on the job injury opens a can of worms, how will the team handle the revelation that one of their own has been trapped in an abusive relationship? And that another member of the team isn't the person they thought she was. NOTE: This story might be difficult for Erin Lindsey lovers. Please know that I do not hate her, nor do I think she was abusive to Jay, she just fits with the plot that I've come up with.

9-1-1 Lone Star

Burner Phone

Someone from TK's past arrives in Austin to make amends. But is everything as it seems?

Making Him Jealous

When Sadie Beck escapes from prison, she finds another crazy way to get the relationship with Owen that she thinks fate has promised her, making him jealous. Will Carlos survive her latest strategy?

Miscellaneous

Thanksgiving - Brooklyn 99

Jake gets hurt when he and Amy's fathers are fighting, adding injury to insult. Tag to "Two Turkeys"

First Impressions - Marvel

Bruce Banner gets to meet Tony's new intern.

[landofzero-archive]

Rouge&Ruby - Epilogue 2

(Location: Starmony dorm kitchen)

(A few days later.)

Hiyori: Look, look. Our chocolates are still going viral on social media.

They're trying to find a way to preserve them just because they look so wonderful, even though the chocolates taste so good.

Nagisa: ...... The fans do think up curious things. What'll come of preserving them?

Jun: Maybe they just wanna keep them as a reminder~?

I saw a blog post about someone writing their impressions of Chocolat Fes on the very same day.

Seems like that person had wanted to record everything they felt on that day in writing, so they wrote the blog post with all their heart.

Hiyori: That sounds like a sort of preservation too? It's like everyone is carving their feelings for Chocolat Fes into their hearts and it makes me so happy♪

Nagisa: ...... The atmosphere in the venue after Eden's stage had ended was so impactful. How should I describe that atmosphere?

Hiyori: It was as if everyone had entrusted their hearts and bodies to us, like they were in a trance? Even though it was similar to our usual lives, it was a little different……

Jun: It was the kind of atmosphere that can only be felt during Chocolat Fes— So it was something that could only happen on Valentine's day~

That’s definitely the best answer ♪. Don't you think so too, Ibara—

Ibara: ………

Hiyori: What's with that face? We're talking about the Chocolat Fes that happened just as Ibara had envisioned. So, shouldn't you be making a more cheerful expression?

Perhaps I should say; Ibara's the one who should be talking about this, right?

Ibara: —Unlike the rest of you, I’m properly busy using my hands!

I mean, Your Highness was the first person to bring it up, weren’t you? Something or other about wanting everyone in Eden to have a normal Valentine's day experience......

Why am I making homemade chocolates even though Valentine's day is behind us?! I still can’t comprehend it!

Nagisa: …… Isn't it because Hiyori-kun wanted everyone to have a normal Valentine's day experience?

Ibara: Isn't that exactly the same as what I’ve just said? I demand a proper explanation, Jun.

Jun: Eh, so you're taking it out on me. Even though I'm standing right next to you and helping Ibara out seriously.

Ibara: That's to be expected. Lately it seems that His Excellency has taken up an interest in cooking and gained some experience in it, but he doesn't have much experience in making sweets. As for His Highness—

Hiyori: I'll be casting a magic spell so that everyone's chocolates will tu~rn out delicious......♪

Ibara: He's that sort of person. It turned out this way because Jun never lets him help out.

I've been compiling as many detailed recipes as I can find so that I may entrust the work to His Excellency.

Nagisa: ……. I've already mastered mixing ingredients together until there are no lumps.

Ibara: As expected of Your Excellency! It really is so helpful that you are a fast learner! Now I would like you to combine what you've just mixed together!

The next step is to wrap the combined ingredients in a plastic wrap and leave them to chill in the refrigerator! Please work on putting these things together!

Nagisa: ……Mm, I got it♪

Jun: Wow. Unlike Nagi-senpai, who is interested in cooking, it seems like it'll go much faster for me if I cook by myself.

I did think about at least letting him cut up some chocolate bars for me, but the thought of that person holding a knife is really scary......

Hiyori: ?

Jun: ……I mean, it's not like there's a lot of stuff to explain.

I didn't even realise that Ibara got over that wall by himself. When I sucked it up and finally went to consult Ohii-san about it......

Neither Ohiisan nor I knew anything about what a normal Valentine's day is supposed to be like. We realised then that Ibara and Nagi-senpai must be the same way.

Since we were going to make an appearance in Chocolate Fes, the conversation turned to how everyone in Eden not knowing what a normal Valentine's day is supposed to be like is a problem......

That's when the “Normal Valentine's Day Experience Plan” plan started.

Ibara: ...... If it was intended to be for Chocolat Fes, isn't it strange that the plan is being executed after the event had already ended?

Hiyori: That's because we were sooo busy with work for Chocolat Fes. We didn't have any time.

So I'd like you to make extra portions of delicious chocolates to celebrate the success of Chocolat Fes too♪

Ibara: Haah……

Hiyori: By the way, when the chocolates are done, we've planned for us to participate in a simulation of giving and receiving chocolates.

That's why everyone has to put in as much affection as possible while making them......♪

Ibara: Haa~......?

Jun: Ah~ sorry. That's my fault too.

Since I only know about Valentine's day from shojo manga, I made Ohiisan read the manga too.

Seems that he really wants to experience the feeling of wanting to give and receive chocolates and the fluttering feeling that comes with the experience.

Ibara: Do you really think that you're going to get that fluttery feeling by doing an exchange between unit members?

Jun: Maybe you'll at least feel a little warm and fluffy? Who knows?♪

Ibara: —Honestly, it feels like I've gotten myself into a troublesome plan. I'm still quite busy with Chocolat Fes-related work, you know?

Due to the overwhelmingly positive responses and reviews, I have received a variety of requests lately.

Nagisa: …… Then, that means that Ibara's Chocolat Fes is still on-going.

Hiyori: In that case, won't this “Valentine's Day Experience Plan” fit perfectly? Even Eden's Valentine's is still on-going......♪

Ibara: This situation and that situation are not the same.

Jun: …… Yet even though you keep groaning about it, you're still making the most elaborate designs out of all of us~

Nagisa: …… What are you making? Yours look the most delicious, so I'm curious as well.

Ibara: Mine don't just look delicious, they're actually the most delicious of the bunch. I'm even making them look as aesthetically pleasing as possible.

I have no intention of losing even when it comes to making sweets!

I hope you are all looking forward to it......☆

Hiyori: Since you're saying that, I can't wait to see the final product♪

Nagisa: …… Mm. I'm looking forward to eating it.

Jun: Ya know, there isn't supposed to be any element of competition in this Experience Plan......

Ah well, I guess greedily aiming for the top in any situation is just an Ibara thing.

—All right. I'll make my own chocolates pretty and enjoy Eden's Valentine's with the guys~♪

Previous | Directory

[starrbar]

Okay so Yin Yang Yo! was my absolute FAVORITE fucking show when I was a young kid, like I dunno, 10 to 13 years old. I recently revisited the show and well, I've outgrown the writing QUITE a bit. I'm in my late twenties now. But it's still very nostalgic to me, and I figured hey, I got a few light-hearted ideas, so I'll scribble em down and post em somewhere.

One of my favorite characters from YYY was Yuck because he was cute and scruffy. I like scruffy. And I probably enjoyed his voice acting too.

Anyway, I spat out some ideas for how I might rewrite the episode "Yin Yang Yuck" for a fanfic or something, but I'm too busy to write a whole fanfic, so here's the raw juices.

So first, I don't like how flippant the beginning is. Yin and Yang fight daily, and often physically, so it seems silly that this one time only, they would create life. What's a specific thing Yin and Yang would do in this fight that's different from others?

Let's say they've both been learning a new move that's high level. Master Yo taught them the basics, but neither of them can successfully use it. Hell, Woo Foo Aura might be good for this? Putting aside Aura Or Not cause I'm just having fun here.

Yin has a partial grasp on the idea of it because she'll happily express love and passion, but Yang is too embarrassed to express himself and he tries not to feel those vulnerable emotions. So let's say Yin gets REALLY pissed at Yang one day (hopefully over something much less dumb than what started their fight in canon) and she gives in to using her anger for her aura instead, and Yang does the same, even though his anger is normally performative and light-hearted. The two of them genuinely set out to hurt each other in some way, which is what flares up their worst traits—traits they're directly channeling into physical Woo Foo energy.

Their auras reject them because of their misuse of their emotions to fuel the power, and instead they clash and combine. The sheer power creates a new being made of both of their worst qualities, topped off with hatred for each of those qualities and their good ones as well, because well, they were feeling some level of hatred for each other in those moments.

He calls himself Yuck because he is full of self-loathing and awful contradictions, and because the parts of Yin and Yang that love one another despite their differences did not get transferred to him. Yin and Yang are left without the ability to feel any negative hateful emotions. Maybe sadness? But not anger. Not the desire to harm.

I also just realized that yeah, I'd make Yuck nonbinary because he was made from a boy and girl who perform their genders in such AGGRESSIVELY normative ways, but I could buy that he uses he/him because nobody in this family knows what nonbinary is and Yuck isn't really concerned with it, but he still finds that he's completely being perceived either way. He doesn't care about his pronouns, etc.

He's also not really in a position to figure out what identity makes him feel right? Because again, he's just made out of awful traits. He's ashamed of ALL his interests and all his circumstances (and Yin and Yang's circumstances), so he lashes out any time someone tries to be nice and understanding towards him. He's disgusted by Yin and Yang's sugary sweet kindness. He's driven to violent rage when someone so much as steps in his way. He snaps at people when they seem to "have a tone" or look at him grumpily or don't respond to him quickly enough. He perceives every action someone takes in the worst possible light. He's miserable.

Master Yo is alarmed at what Yin and Yang did, and especially that it resulted in a new living person being made. He decides that it would be the most humane to split him back up and send his traits back to the twins, because they're incomplete without being able to work through them naturally, and Yuck is a being created purely to hate and hurt. However, Yuck doesn't want to die, of course. So he attacks.

Master Yo can easily kick his ass tbh. There's no reason little level 2 Yuck should be able to beat a Woo Foo master. But maybe Yuck has hostages. He doesn't attack Master Yo directly, he keeps him away by threatening others. Yin and Yang have to come up behind him and try to take him by surprise, and then they have to "kill" him to his face when their surprise attack fails. It pains them both to do this, but they have to be whole again.

After the fight, they're back to their normal selves and Yuck is gone, and they still feel like they just did something cruel....

[dogydayz]

Ok so to update people on that whole Paradox Prism AU concept thing here's some notes about the AU im already beginning to create: -It's many years into the future, like around 7 or 8, from the "baseline canon timelines".

-Eggman is very similar to that "Eggman goes good" AU idea I'd had. He and the crew end up sorting things out in some ways and working together to build a truly better future, designing a sky city island where Eggman is able to put his genius to use, without causing harm to others (there may even be a small subplot from during that time skip where Shadow and Eggman interact and Shadow sorta gives him a bit of an "it's not too late to change your future" pep-talk).

-Tails is studying under Eggman to become his successor in the future, though sometimes it turns into more of a "who's actually the smarter one" competition. But hey, that keeps Eggman busy building silly robots to fight against Tails' creations for fun!

-Amy works as an environmental researcher and helps make decisions about things like what energy is used, how to bring technology and nature together in harmony, etc. Also she has somewhat basic medical training.

-Knuckles continues to protect the Master Emerald, while also helping to devise a more solid plan of defense against any stray "bad guys" that may exist that they know not of. For the most part though, he still lives in the city with the rest of his friends, but he may often take small vacations out to Angel Island to make sure everything is alright.

-Sonic shares a large apartment with Amy, Knuckles, and Tails, though he tends to be out and about more than staying near home. All throughout the city there are paths designed to allow the more adventurous folks explore to their hearts' content. Sonic is one of those folks, often seen blazing across the paths, rails, loops, you name it. It's also not uncommon for him to be seen in the middle of races! He's also often one of the first people contacted if the others notice anything strange happening, wherever they are.

-Rouge works at a jewelry and design boutique when she's not doing more dangerous scouting work, if ever necessary. She's still often questioned about where the hell she gets the rocks she sells, but she'll never tell (oh god the rhymes). Outside of that, she lives in a different apartment complex with Shadow, as well as Omega, however Omega usually just stays in the parking garage to "sleep" (it's not uncommon for one or both of the others to camp out down there with him, though).

-Shadow...Well, he's not quite sure what he does yet really. He's not entirely satisfied with the idea of having any specific "job", similar to some of the others like Knuckles and Sonic, yet he still feels that he should have one. Apart from that, he's kinda been learning about mechanics from Tails, who helps him with motorcycle repairs and modifications, and he's also gotten into theatrics in more recent times (he feels that it helps him to vent his emotions in a healthy way, while getting his mind off other, far more dismal things). He still goes through existential dread at times, though far less than he once had. Learning to just live life without necessarily having to have a utilitarian purpose for everything he does has... slowly but surely happened over those years between the base canon times and this AU. (As a side note in my writing, both Sonadow and Rouckles are canon in this AU, however it's not of much importance outside of some character interactions and my art that explicitly shows art OF those ships from this AU lol)

__________________________

With basic info outta the way, here comes the actual story part I've come up with: basically Sonic and Shadow end up getting brought back to a whole different universe when they intercept the plans of a chimera from another space, who takes them back to his own planet and tricks them into thinking he'd send them back home as soon as he can. he ends up conducting fucked up tests on them, threatens to kill Sonic if Shadow tries to fight back, and then his "assistant" (actually the guy working over him but hes much weaker than that guy so hes often seen as lesser) helps them to escape. They take the huge snake dragon mecha thing that brought them there and book it. Sonic nearly dies because the weird magnetic nano robot things they injected into him tore out of his body and left him absolutely fucked up, but they make it just in time and Shadow kicks the Paradox Prism of that universe out of the mech before the portal closes so that no one can track them. They end up getting back home, thankfully, but Sonic was nearly fatally wounded and now they have to deal with all the new shit they've learned about this stuff, and also the wack snake dragon thing. This is.... a serious paraphrasing of it. There's also a Mobian alongside the chimera guy who's the physical form of a desert deity, who's based on a thorny devil lizard and has parallels to Sonic and Knuckles. The chimera has parallels to Tails and Shadow, as he was designed by a scientist in an attempt to put his mind into an immortal body, however the actual project was a failure. The chimera was built from many bodies, Frankenstein's-monster style, and has part of that old scientist's "mind" still active in him, but overall he's still his own whole self. To people from his world, he's a sweet and caring, benevolent researcher who just wants the best for his people, and to honor the man who'd made him. To outsiders, he's a monstrous, cruel piece of shit who doesn't care if there's bloodshed, so long as it benefits his own people.

There's a LOT more ideas I have going with this, but these are my most basic ones. not sure if anyone's gonna like these or not lol but ill post it anyway!

[bahamutgames]

AFTERTHOUGHTS - ROUNDUP ROUND 3

April + May 2023

NON Nintendo Switch Online Edition!!

Alright kind of a slow day today but I have a BUNCH I still would like to get done. So I'm taking a small break by writing some thoughts on some games I beat recently. I haven't been doing a TON of gaming this month cause I've been busy doing work or getting screwed over and in my down time I've been going out a lot, hanging out with friends, and not playing too much. I am currently chipping through my next RPG and I'm ALMOST done with it. As well as random small itch games I've been playing and tweeting about on my twitter. But hopefully when I break through this current RPG and finish up some work I can play more stuff more regularly soon.

Pizza Tower (January 26, 2023) - PC

So, something you may not know about me is that I am actually a HUGE Wario Land fan. Like, a MASSIVE Wario Land fan. I've played them all, and I also played and adored Wario World and Master of Disguise even though they're not exactly the same. But yeah I fucking love Wario. And lately I've been really really excited with the wave of Wario Land-likes we're receiving! This and Anton Blast (which looks SO amazing I seriously cannot wait.)

I wasn't able to pick this game up right away but thankfully I had a friend buy it for me which means the absolute WORLD to me for real. And I gotta say, I had a great time with it! It feels awesome to play, gameplay feels wonderful and additions to the formula like combos and parrying is SUPER cool! And of course traditional Wario Land fare like form changes and the general moveset feels great and while I generally am not crazy about beating levels as quick as possible I feel like the moveset is really good for speedrunning in a way that makes it feel nice to speedrun even for someone like me who isn't into it much.

Of course the sprites are so cute, I love the art style. The characters are cute, I appreciate there being multiple playable characters too that was also a great addition. Enemies are cute, the levels look great and colorful. Bosses are all very cool looking and REALLY fun to fight for the most part. The soundtrack is great, I loved the story. I loved the format and the context behind finding stuff like toppins and paying for boss doors. It's all very cool and feels like a wonderful return for Wario Land.

It's small but I also appreciate Peppino himself for being an old middle aged man with body hair as the cool protagonist who gets shit done and like has a huge hero moment at the end where he saves everyone. I ADORE Warioware but a big issue I had with it is that it kinda removes Wario's coolness factor and his strikingly heroic moments from Land and just makes him... yknow... a greedy fat guy and that's IT. So it's nice to see a fat character being more than that again.

It's been a bit since I played it so I don't remember a ton of my complaints. Off the top of my head the biggest issue I had was that the boss fights are WAY too long. They last forever, you have to do them twice. And then they end on a minigame where if you fail you have to do the whole fight over. It's so annoying and makes each one a total chore where otherwise they'd be REALLY cool. Also I know they're not meant to be scary but I did not care for the screamers in that one level at all. They did not do it for me lol. Lastly, this might be a weird way to start this post. But I know this game had a racist enemy design in it. If it's what I think it is, it's a stereotype of indigenous cultures which has been removed from the game from my understanding. But still. This sucks. It's something we see in indie games WAY too often. Too many indie games feature enemies like this. And I know a lot of old AAA games had this too. But it's not okay. And it's something that really really baffles me that indie devs STILL think it's okay to have enemies like this. Stop it.

Aside from that, great entry in the Wario-Land like genre. Was a blast to play (an Anton Blast aha) while also adding a ton of original stuff to make it stand out. I hope to see more and I hope its popularity leads to even MORE Wario Land type games and more games with cute scribbly art styles.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (March 31, 2023) - PC

A much smaller april fools game that also took me a bit to play. But DAMN am I happy I did. This game was a TON of fun! You never see fake games made for April Fools that are like... yknow... actual games you can play! And this was such a cute and fun little game I really shocked by how much of a good time I had with it!

Usually I'm not super into point and click stuff but man this game was SO cute it didn't bug me at all. Fantastic writing, tons of Sonic characters who aren't written to be jokes (I love seeing this becoming a trend again), fantastic and silly references to the whole series (THERE WAS A FUCKING SONIC RIVALS REFERENCE!! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!!) The art is FANTASTIC, the music is nice, I was really surprised at how good and fun the story was? Like towards the end it becomes a real story with real stakes and a pretty moving ending which was SUPER cool to see! Also it had actual gameplay scenes with real timing and platforming? Which was SO surprising but totally welcome!

I really don't have much negative to say? It was free and it's a small april fools joke that ended up being really cool! I loved the outfits for each character (rouge is so hot) AND it introduced a new super cute and hot Sonic Milf! So I say, it's pretty fucking amazing, actually!

Rocket Knight Adventures (August 5th, 1993) - Sega Genesis

This was a game I didn't really have any intentions of playing, but a friend of mine has been asking me for a bit now to check it out. And after playing Ristar and realizing I've been missing out on a TON of Genesis games my whole life, and a total rando telling me I NEED to play this game. I just snapped, I couldn't not. How could I ignore it after all this praise? So here I am! After finally playing Rocket Knight Adventures!

And my verdict? Yeah it's pretty cool! I like the world it takes place in, I like the character designs (Rocket in particular is VERY cute), I like the sprites and music. This is all around just a pretty dang fun game! I liked the gimmick of being able to charge up your jetpack and dash around. And I feel like it does honestly make pretty good use of it unlike Ristar and Pulseman which I talked about before. My only real complaint is that I think the final bosses kinda suck and are a bit of a chore. But I am a sucker for like, edgy rivals who use the same powers as you.

I will probably check out the sequels when I get the chance, though I've heard they're not SUPER great. I would love a new entry eventually that really goes hard into the rocket stuff and maybe has even more shmup levels cause of course I loved those aha.

Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World (December 14, 2001) - Gameboy Advance

And last but not least for now, Super Mario Advance 2! If you know anything about me, you know that Super Mario World is one of my all time favorite games! I ADORE the SNES original as in addition to just being a great game, it's actually the first game I've ever played (or at least have memories of playing). And despite the fact the first time I beat Mario 2 & 3 was with the GBA remakes, I had never tried the remake of Super Mario World on GBA until now! But I gotta say, yeah these are great ports!

Super Mario World is just great on its own so of course it's a good game. I still love the sprites, they're washed out here because of the lack of backlight way back when it came out. But I think the new color scheme is nice and still works. I LOVE the music still and it sounds really nice in the GBA soundfont. And there's a lot of really good changes here too! Stuff like a serious playable Luigi, a more serious exit tracker, and having the Dragon Coins function more like Star Coins in NSMB are all GREAT changes that should have been there from the start. But even stuff like additional cutscenes, voice clips (which I LOVE), small sprite fixes on Peach and Yoshi, and the cute fun way enemies roll away with funny sprite rotations when Yoshi spits them out are ultimately not needed but are great changes!

I sort of rushed through this playthrough but I mean, it's Super Mario World, so I wouldn't be surprised if I end up playing more of it and play more levels that I didn't give a shot soon! This is a great port and I still continue to LOVE the Mario Advance games so much! I'll probably have to play it more to see but if I ever get around to 100% completing it I could see this potentially being the ideal way to play Super Mario World which is CRAZY to think about! Good port!

[novoplata]

Resolutions schmesolutions

I haven't written much in this online journal, so I thought the New Year would be an excellent opportunity to restart my writing journey. So, here goes my (loosely held) resolutions for 2023:

1. Don't put a limit on yourself

I was watching the Torian Pro team clean and jerk ladder event last year, and on the floor was a team with a female masters athlete in her late 40s clean and jerking 80kg. The commentator then commented on how rare it is for masters athletes in their late 40s to hit higher than 70-75kg in a clean and jerk, let alone 80kg.

I remember thinking, 'damn, I must've missed my boat', having struggled with hitting a new PR on my clean and jerk last year, after hitting a slew of PRs in my first year of CrossFit in 2021. For the record, I shall turn 40 in November this year but would still like to lift as heavy as my body would permit.

I then made it my personal mission to start following masters weightlifters and powerlifters on social media who would prove to me that age is just a number and you can still hit those heavy lifts as long as you do them safely with good techniques.

Last week, I also had a chance to share a rack with a slightly older athlete who has also been training way longer. She proves to me that being older doesn't mean that you should automatically start lifting pink plastic dumbbells. She lifts heavier than I do and I'm so inspired to have someone to look up to in my own gym!

I come from a generation where sports were just some extracurriculars you do to represent your school when you're younger, not something to be adopted as a way of life. When I picked up Jiu-Jitsu at 27 years old, people were already telling me that I was too old and should only sign up for Zumba classes. Imagine how much fitness and practical life skills I would've missed out on if I had listened to them?

Of course, that being said, being older also means that I have to learn to listen to my body more. If she says rest and I'll do just that

2. Wear that damn sports bra

I remember making this resolution in 2011 when I was a scrawny 52kg runner who couldn't do a single push up.

My resolution then was to lose another 5kg (haha!) and wear a sports bra during my next half-marathon race in 2012. I did the half-marathon alright, but I didn't lose the weight as hoped, therefore, I never wore a sports bra in public.

In hindsight, if there was a time when I should have been wearing a sports bra in public, it was back then in 2011. I was never 52kg again and my waistline was never as tiny anymore. Nonetheless, if CrossFit had taught me anything valuable, it is to honour your body for what it can do rather than what it looks like.

That being said, if it's too hot during a workout, just take your top off and wear that damn sports bra! Everyone else would be too busy dying to judge your body anyway.

3. Go on that damn vacation!

I have this weird annoying habit of moving my goalpost each time I've reached it.

I told myself I'd get a new pair of lifters when I hit a 60kg clean (I only got mine a year and +5kg later), I told myself that I'd go on a staycation for my birthday last year (I cancelled last minute; would rather save that money) and recently, I told myself that I'd start travelling again once I've hit my savings goal.

I hit that savings goal in August 2021 and already felt like I should be moving the goalpost before I should allow myself to travel.

Stop, just stop! I'm turning 40 this year and had been working so hard in the past three years to survive the pandemic. I survived with flying colours and now, it's time to treat myself to some new memories. Besides, I seriously don't know just how much longer I will be this healthy and strong. Seize that day already!

Happy New Year, everyone!!

[joysjoy]

I said it would be ok if it was about people I didn’t know but I LIEEED. Who’s the marshmallow man he sounds tasty 😳🫣 also good luck with grad school and adhd holy shit??? I had some doubts last year abt it too but then I just concluded I was weird in a neurotypical way. And what r you doing for uni/grad school (idk how that works)??

-scrbunly

AHHH OH MY GOD MARSHMALLOW MAN

okay so i work in this little chinese restaurant and he's one of the delivery drivers and i nicknamed him marshmallow man because he's always wearing something white and he looks squishy and cuddly an lovely. he's also one of the nicest men i've ever met and he's so fuckign anxious like. he apologizes for existing and i just love him so much okay? also i get the vibe he's gay so it's a wlw/mlm solidarity moment i think. but anyways.

lately we've been vibing a bit more? like he says my name instead of just going "excuse me!!!!" and he helps me with dishes and he bought me coffee and i've been like hell yes we're gonna be best friends. and then ON FRIDAY i was rly stressed and busy and i went to like, burst out of the kitchen doors and he was there ig and he just swung his hand into mine somehow??????? and then we were holding hands and i looked absolutely scandalized because i was and then he screamed I'M SO SORRY at the top of his lungs and now we can never speak again.

also thank uu god i went through the list of "things you need to have to be diagnosed with adhd" and i checked like 6 or 7 out of 9 so i feel like maybe. that's a thing. also everyone i've told has been like, yeah you 100% do so .

i am HOPEFULLY GOING FOR A CREATIVE WRITING MASTERS DEGREE IF I CAN ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND WRITE TWENTY PAGES BEFORE JANUARY 6TH