#I've had a shitty experience

[the-punforgiven]

Do y'all ever get nightmares that just like, aren't scary?

Like you can tell your brain is trying to make this scary, but you just feel nothing?

[front-facing-pokemon]

[cookiescr]

Goddamn just finished dragon age inquisition and it was so fucking goood omygod like I did not expect to get so into it like I originally just started playing it for friend who couldn't play it and streamed it for her by mygdo it was so good

SOMEONE COMMISSION ME SO I CAN BUY VEILGUARD ON NOVEMBER ! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[carouselunique]

Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

[princessnijireiki]

it's always such a strange thing when people say stuff like, "oh, my developmental cognitive delay, mental illness, etc NEVER gets believed in, not like PHYSICALLY disabled people," or, "oh, I NEVER get accommodations for my physical conditions in school, not like other students' LEARNING disabilities," "THIS kind of thing I experienced is uniquely oppressive and one of many roots of evil in the world, other power structures & people in positions of authority are NOT as harmful as the one I experienced, and the world is soooo much nicer & easier to everybody & every kind of cripple except me"

like I know of all the social media platforms tumblr has the rep of being the pity party site, but while you truly may have suffered and nobody is here to diminish that, y'all are moving very weirdly through life

[hoxooster]

What my Payday 3 experience has been like for the past year:

Just in case anybody was wondering about that.

[violetdisasterzone]

it's kind of sad to say but sometimes I think I'm not cut out for fandom. I've always been more of a lurker than a contributor anyway, but even then I feel like I might just be too much of a canon purist to really be part of them. so much of being on the internet is about curating your own experience, but fanon (mis)interpretations/characterizations are so rampant in some spaces, treated as canon to such an extent that some people literally believe they ARE, that they're often hard to avoid completely.

the point of fandom isn't supposed to be nitpicking every little thing for accuracy, obviously. I like talking with people about my favorite things, and seeing how my thoughts and interpretations match up with theirs. I don't expect everyone's experience with whatever media to be the same. but I think a lot of people view canon as something separate, as something they get to play around with and take the parts they like and change what they don't. and that's fine, but I don't really get it, not entirely. I like playing around with hypotheticals and what-ifs and stuff, but to me canon is always going to be superior/unchangeable. and it's even worse when people will try to use canon to explain that their blatantly fanon-based interpretations are, in fact, canon somehow. and it gets even WORSE when it turns into actual discourse, and suddenly people are claiming that not following their fanon interpretation means something about your real-life values.

it's just kind of exhausting sometimes. I love a lot of y'all on here and it can be so fun to be a part of things, even mostly from the sidelines. but sometimes all I want is to close social media forever and reread my novels in peace

[landgraabbed]

sometimes you gotta take in the lil details

[folerdetdufoler]

Hi, I wrote my first evak fic in early 2023, before that I had been an avid reader for years. I know the fandom is a little quiet but there's this hardcore group of writers and readers that seem to have been around since the start and all know (of) each other. I don't know how to word this without sounding envious but it seems to me that group doesn't really read, comment on, give kudos or support new fics outside of their little circle. I want to believe it's a time issue but I have to say it comes across cliquey and a little hurtful. I really hope I am just being an insecure baby but I would be so happy if the established and popular writers would give me feedback and leave comments.

hiya! congratulations on writing and posting! i know it can be a big, scary jump from reading to writing and sharing, so applause for that in the first place.

i'm sorry your contributions to the fandom haven't been received the way you'd like them to be. if i'm included in this group of writers and readers, then, well my reasons for not reading/commenting/supporting are possibly going to be more hurtful than what you're already experiencing! i've whined about it years ago (first here, then here), and unfortunately it all still stands, because i have done absolutely zero work on bettering myself as a human being. i think i've read a handful of fics, mostly because they've been sent to me directly, with someone asking for my thoughts, and i managed to put in the effort to read it and offer a polite response. but there are also a bunch of fics that have been shared with me that i haven't read, even when i've said i would. i'm sorry if you have specifically done this with me in the past, because i have not treated your work, your creativity, with the respect it deserves.

i can't speak for anyone else, on how they choose to spend their time reading or writing, or the relationships they have with other fans. on the one active skam discord i'm in, i think a lot of them know each other from other fandoms, or have different relationships beyond writing/reading skam fic. also, as skam fades, people might only have the bandwidth for enjoying and supporting fanworks from established relationships, the same way you still want to support a favorite author even when you or they have changed genres or whatever.

but in reality i don't know the group where this is happening or why. i agree, it would be nice to receive more readers and commenters in general, and being jealous of the attention other people receive is natural. but i don't know how to change your relationship with that group, or my relationship with reading & supporting.

[dragonlights]

Like I don't Post about drama but vis a vis predestro's Tumblr ban, like. I don't necessarily think it's a good thing that we on the Internet have become so desensitized to threats of violence that we use them as jokes, but like.... That's been Tumblr culture for, what, a decade now? At least four years. Almost definitely longer.

And like. I've seen so much worse. Folks admitting to sending asks telling others to kill themselves!! Folks outright wishing x/y person killed themselves!!! Folks harassing trans folks (esp. trans women!)

But what gets this one lady banned was her man door hammer hand car boom-ass post???

Like, talk about enforcing the TOS from the wrong angle.

I totally get that part of it is "this person had their rule breaking reported en masse so something happened" but shouldn't the severity of the response have more to do with the severity of the offense, rather than how many people reported that user?

Like. The fact that we have to do mass reports to get anything to happen to anyone is ridiculous.

And, the fact that INCORRECT mass reports aren't punished more is also ridiculous.

There's also no report function for discriminatory content, or for seeing users harass each other. So... If you're not the one being harassed, your report does... Nothing??

Unless you, what scroll through someone's blog looking for things you could report as threatening violence??

On the "I hope every politician dies" webbed site???

There's obviously something fucky with their reporting system- either the way that reports are handled, or the way the severity of the reports are being judged.

Cause right now, it looks like they got a flood of reports from TERFs, photomatt saw a post about him, and went "well, fuck it, get her out of here" without looking at the context of HER BEING HARASSED FOR AGES. And that the post in question- the only one I saw shared!- was almost certainly a vent post for Said Situation that was...

Comically mishandled?

Like this one?

Like. Look. Do I think maybe at some point, on the "way too comfortable with violence on people I see as Wrong in some way" webbed site, a popular user said something that could actually be construed as a threat, and due to rampant transmisogyny got, got her shit reported?

Yeah, I can see that.

I don't follow her blog too closely, I know she does a lot of hyperbolic stuff. (as is Done on this Web site, again... I've almost certainly rb'd things just as bad)

But the example photomatt uses is hilariously bad and so obviously not a threat, and one would think, IN LIGHT OF THERE BEING ALLEGATIONS OF TRANSPHOBIA ON THEIR TEAM FOR YEARS, THEY WOULD BRING OUT A MORE CREDIBLE PIECE OF EVIDENCE THAN A LOONY-TOONS ASS DEATH WISH.

Just. The bar was on the ground and they still fumbled It! Fucking! Amazing!

[thedreadvampy]

hey uh no offence but when a famous person cheats on their spouse it always sits kind of weird with me when people treat it as if they were just caught doing sex crimes or something. like infidelity is often received as being as or more severe than sexual assault or harassment or domestic violence.

like don't get me wrong AT ALL. cheating on your partner is an extremely shitty and cruel thing to do in most situations. but it's also. a very interpersonal thing. like are you justified for despising someone for cheating ON YOU? yeah for sure. but this is not your marriage is not your partner and you're not the one hurt.

and maybe that's a lack of imagination on my part. but idk cheating feels so much more personal than most Cancelable Offences. bc like for real it's not your marriage, it's a complex issue, and it's not an act of direct violence. different people will cheat for different reasons and different people will respond to being cheated on differently.

(and also sometimes it's not even cheating bc can we look at the vitriol leveled at Jada Pinkett-Smith for 'infidelity' when she and her husband were in a consensual non-monogamy situation by all accounts?)

cheating on your partner is a shitty thing to do but it doesn't, imo, indicate that you're a Danger To Those Around You like for example sexual harassment does. you did a lot of harm to your partner and they will need support and friendship through that. but to people outside this relationship and who don't know you personally like. how is this their business???

[redheadedfailgirl]

I am so fucking tired of monogamous people getting to make broad statements about monogamy being an ontological, natural thing that a person is but polyamory is apparently something people choose to do and are usually bad at and foolish for doing. Genuinely it is so disappointing when people actively choose not to examine why they are so comfortable with monogamy and continue choosing it, because they would learn a lot more about themselves if they decided to do even a little bit of introspection. I chose polyamory. I know why I did that, why I enjoy it, what would have to change for me to stop enjoying it, and what I can expect from it in the future. I don't think the majority of monogamous people can say the same.

[jellogram]

You know, I have been in a lot of In n Outs and I have never seen one that was understaffed. Every In n Out has 15-20 teenagers working at all times. Every other restaurant is like "Waaaaaahhh, we simply cannot find any workers! No one wants to work anymore! We HAVE to force every employee to do the work of four people!"

I wonder if maybe the above minimum wage pay and upward mobility and general better employee treatment has anything to do with that?

[slippery-minghus]

gods, why didn't i get a college degree in anything useful?

[thethingything]

do you ever write out a post and then remember the reading comprehension on this site is abysmal and you can practically feel the potential shitty comments and think "actually no this isn't worth it"

[neverendingford]

Therapists have two genders:

Professional Asshole and

Well-meaning Incompetent