#I've jumped out of a plan several times but that was by choice

[nimrism]

could you make this post? please, it's so fascinating i really want to hear your thoughts on it

"The Dark Tower" Morgwen Interactions Analysis

i've literally been waiting for someone to ask me this so i can go all out in answer, so you're literally my favorite- THANK YOU! i've tried to put all the thoughts swirling around in my head into one coherent post, so strap in and let's LOOK AT THE IMPLICATIONS (from my perspective)!

first and most importantly, i want to zero in on morgana's choice of kidnapee; she could've chosen anyone in camelot, any one of the knigts who were regularly privy to arthur's battle plans and schedule, but nope. if we're looking at it from the perspective of "she needs the closest person to arthur" wouldn't that be merlin? she could have kidnapped and brainwashed him; he would've made for a fabulous inconspicious mole in the court, and arthur literally goes to him for anything and everything. i actually think it would make for a really interesting au/fic if it were merlin who was kidnapped instead of gwen (love confession/magic reveal possibilities are ENDLESS), but maybe it's a little too close to the plot of "a servant of two masters" and the writers didn't want to be repetitive. i'm going to be biased and delusional in believing that morgana did choose gwen, in particular, for more personal reasons as well as for her nefarious ones.

the way i see it (and this is obviously very objective), by the time we get to this point in s5, morgana is LONELY, like, has-no-one-in-the-world-except-aithusa type of lonely, and her choice of allies has been lacking diversity as of late (why are they all men 💀), AND they all end up dying anyway. so, she needs a plan, and she needs a trusted ally (she also needs a bit of love and lip balm cause DAMN). BUT the thing is, why would anyone be loyal to her? she's never kept any allies (or friends) thanks to her wit and charm alone, she's only ever kept men loyal to her by striking fear in their hearts. it's the same for her friends and family, i think. she doesn't believe they even tolerate her existence, so she needs to be crowned queen to subdue them and FORCE them to respect her. the same goes for gwen. she was only morgana's friend when morgana was a naive and vulnerable girl, plagued by nightmares and unexplained fears, and the second morgana grew out of them (or learned to control them) gwen stopped being affectionate, stopped being open. that's how morgana sees it, and it only reinforces her belief that gwen would never understand the person she's become now, she wouldn't quite see what morgana was trying to do. unless morgana forced her to.

the whole kidnapping affair was to MAKE gwen understand, because she wouldn't do it of her own free will. gwen would never willingly be on morgana's side, so she had to jump through a few morally questionable hoops to bring her over. in the end, i do believe all morgana really wanted was a friend (maybe a little bit more, amirite ladies), though by this point her concept of friendship had become twisted beyond recognition, and in all the chaos, this was the only way she thought she could have one. throughout the episode, a lot of the old morgana shines through, even if it is portrayed as just manipulation, and i do think that was her either slipping back into old habits or forcing herself to, for the sake of the brainwashing and for the sake of their friendship that she's trying to rekindle.

a point that i've seen several people make is that between the niceties, the "real" morgana peeks through several times throughout the ep, but i kinda disagree. i don't necessarily think that just because her smile drops, it means that the niceties were a facade and her "evil" side pops back out. i read the sudden change in expression more as disappointment. gwen fights back with such vigour that it's probably painful for morgana to realize that her former friend sees her as nothing more than an evil witch who's hell-bent on hurting her, now. she's disappointed that gwen, who was supposed to know her best, believes what the others do, and doesn't believe that morgana is being sincere in her offer of friendship.

a small remark i also have is: why wasn't morgana one of the visions/hallucinations gwen had in the dark tower? it's interesting to see that the closest three people to gwen are her brother, arthur, and merlin, of all people. i feel like gwen's history with morgana has to have had a lasting effect on both of them, even if morgana is supposed to be "evil" now. you don't stop loving someone just because they've chosen (or BEEN chosen by) the dark side. morgana was one of the people gwen cared about most in seasons 1 through 3 (s3 is pushing it a little, but still), it doesn't really make sense for it all to be forgotten so completely like we see in this episode. i also think it would've been super interesting to see a hallucination of younger morgana in particular, partially as a reminder that part of gwen still cares about morgana and largely because i'd like to see how gwen would react to that vision... would it differ from the other three? what would morgana do? would she sneer and laugh like elyan and arthur? would she do a little rawr like merlin (😭)? i feel like a ficlet is in order for this concept cause i would like to see it but i have to imagine it first (but that's the hard part 😭)

NOW ONTO THE MOST DELICIOUS PART OF THIS ANALYSIS: THE QUOTES

M: "Would you prefer some chicken?"

i just found this one hilarious tbh like she's so out of pocket what are you doing offering your kidnapee some chicken and WHAT WAS THE OTHER OPTION, IF NOT CHICKEN?

M: "I know how lonely you must be, all by yourself in that room. At least you're not shackled, and there's daylight. You can move, you can see."

oof. she's obviously referring to her own capture and torture, pulling from her own experience. it's heartwrenching that morgana has been through all of this, traumatised beyond reason, but it's even more heartwrenching that she thinks she's doing gwen a service, like this. it might not seem like that to any sane person, but after everything she's been through, morgana's worldview is completely different. in her mind, however twisted and detached it has become, she's being merciful to gwen this way, giving her luxuries that she was never afforded when she was captured. (including a warm meal with chicken at miss havisham's table 🤩)

M: "I too have suffered, Gwen. I spent two years living in darkness. I spent two years chained to a wall at the bottom of a pit... You did not know."

goddddd this line... it's just so painful, so powerful, so indicative of SO MANY THINGS. it's EVERYTHING. every acting choice katie and angel made in this scene was brilliant but ESPECIALLY their facial expressions in this particular part WOAH. the way morgana's voice cracks on the word "pit" is DEVASTATING. i was floored. the way gwen's face falls as she processes her words and they properly set in... INCREDIBLE. the concern in gwen's eyes is palpable as she realizes the horrors inflicted on her friend. and the final "you did not know" was so, so powerful. morgana realizes that gwen didn't know about and clearly wasn't okay with what she went through. gwen had no part in it. morgana SMILES at gwen's reaction, but instead of it being a smile of malice or evil it's one of RELIEF, and one that she hides very promptly. she's reassured in the knowledge that gwen had no idea she had suffered so immensely, and that, more importantly, she wasn't involved in it. it's SO important to note that morgana has no idea whether arthur had a hand in her own torture or not. it's especially not a good look on him that he invites the sarrum as a friend of camelot so soon after the events of "the dark tower", so, as far as morgana knows, he could've been a "friend" when she was being tortured for years, too. i wonder what would've happened if morgana had kidnapped gwen AFTER the sarrum's visit to camelot... i feel like that would have complicated things with gwen much further, if morgana thought she was complicit in her imprisonment.

M: "I would have sold my soul for someone to show me kindness such as this."

only two points on this heartbreaking line: 1- FUCK the sarrum of amata. all my homies HATE the sarrum. s4 and s5 morgana might both be textbook cases of "evil", but they're two VERY different people with two very different worldviews and tactics. morgana's imprisonment turned her into the cold husk of a person she is by s5. and 2- this just further confirms that morgana thinks she's doing gwen a favor, dining with her and letting sunlight into her room and choosing not to tie her up etc.

M: "Your hands are cold... I have a warm fire going for you."

oh boy is this a MOMENT. the way morgana keeps her hand held out. the way gwen reluctantly puts her hand in hers (MORGWEN HAND-HOLD!) *ivy by taylor swift starts playing out of nowhere* {ohhhhh goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another, ohhh}

um anyway i digressed. then the way gwen wriggles her hand out of morgana's grasp, while morgana grips her fingers with unwavering determination... it's just delicious.

M: "Anything you want, you can have. I'll give it to you."

idk about you but personally i'm SOLD. take all my money. i read this as morgana trying her utmost best to sell gwen on joining her, but i can also see the manipulation laced in it.

G: "Why are you doing this?"

M: "Because we're friends. We always were."

to me, this reinforces the theory that morgana's just trying to get her friend back on her side. by stating that they've always been friends, morgana reaffirms their friendship as much to herself as to gwen. she was her friend once, and she can be again.

M: "I'm helping you. I'm looking after you."

this sort of feels like morgana is telling herself that, more than she's telling gwen. maybe it's just part of the manipulation process, but i do believe that this was morgana's conscience reassuring her that what she's doing is in gwen's favor and that she's being kind to her.

M: "It's alright, I'm here."

UGH this line. morgana is being the person she needed when she was imprisoned. this scene is also a parallel to all the times morgana woke up screaming in the middle of the night and gwen was there to comfort her in s1/2. this time the tables have turned and it's morgana comforting gwen. simply delicious.

M: "My darling, I was wrong to make you suffer."

TEA! to say that this line was spoken from the bottom of morgana's heart might just be a bit too delusional, but i like to think there's at least some truth to it. torturing gwen had a lot of paralells to morgana's own imprisonment and torture, and she did want to make her suffer, at least in the beginning. but it was also different from what morgana went through. this is NOT to justify torture, btw, torture is BAD, but her "manipulation" tactics got a bit too personal at some point, and i like to think at least a part of it was genuine.

G: "No. Whatever twisted game you're playing, I want no part in it. I would rather stay here and die."

ouch. gwen's resistance to the last possible minute shows such strength on her part (cause me? i would've given in before she even dragged me through the desert tbh) and it gave us such a delicious performance from angel; the reluctance? the uncertainty? the distrust? the relief that morgana is there but also the FEAR of what she's doing? the contradiction between the morgana that gwen once knew and the morgana that everyone KNOWS is evil? but the morgana that gwen once knew is shining through now, and she's saying everything gwen wants to hear... grade-A angst.

IN CONCLUSION they're gfs your honor, this was all just a plot to snatch gwen back from arthur cause morgana didn't think seducing her herself would work. (this phrase could be in reference to this ep or the "lancelot du lac" ep i'm cackling morgana really is hopeless) there are also SEVERAL psychological layers to it, but describing it this way is just easier.

SO... this is possibly the longest post i've ever made. it got a little more comprehensive than i originally thought it would be, but THERE YOU HAVE IT! that's my take on the morgwen interactions in the dark tower. if i seem a little biased, that's because i 100% am :) i hope that clears things up. this is an open invitation to keep sending me asks (even if it's about the most random things ever) cause i love them and i love every single person who sends in an ask, and a public apology for how long these answers get sometimes 😭

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM Manga Review: Schemes and Heroes

Yup, this is the long-delayed review of updates 235 and 236, variously numbered as chapters 190-1 (Cubari) or 188-189 (Viz, Tonarinoyj). I've made several starts but somehow, never got far.

Summary: Slowly, then all at once

That's how bankruptcy is supposed to happen: the trouble sneaks up on you, and then suddenly, it's all falling apart. When it comes to the crisis of confidence that the Hero Association is facing, they've realised that they're in some bother since they're now struggling to get new recruits. However, things are about to get a lot worse.

We have Child Emperor, spurred by disgust and frustration at the Hero Association's faults and unwillingness to address those flaws, all topped with rage about discovering the pun that his hero name is, who has left the organization for the Neo Heroes. He's announced his new hero name, now known as Wild Emperor.

Zombieman has gone to consult Dr. Genus about possibly removing his limiter like Saitama has. He's concerned for Isamu's well-being and Genos's testimony is one he can't afford to ignore. The doctor has agreed to show him something interesting in the basement.

There's no question that the Hero Association is in deep trouble. We'd seen in earlier chapters that they were struggling to recruit new heroes. Now, we're beginning to see how they lose existing heroes. We see Snek given a brief to investigate a monster attack on a donor, only to learn from Isamu that the monster is long caught as it's one of the many monsters sold as exotic pets. Far from being an investigator trusted to handle a delicate cold case, Snek has been given some busy work. To say he's unimpressed is an understatement.

They still seem to imagine heroes grow on trees the way they're treating the most loyal ones.

More seriously, as Amai Mask tells the executives gathered to discuss the problem of heroes defecting, the executives have ignored Isamu's recommendations to address the shortcomings. He's got an idea other than ditching the HA: raise a hero to serve as a standard-bearer to inspire heroes to join and recommit. It's a great idea, but his choice of Saitama is going to be a hard sell from the get-go. Still, he gets the go-ahead.

We know that 'perfect' and 'Saitama' do not go together. Amai is about to find that out the hard way.

The next chapter starts at another meeting of the executives. And another shock defection. This time, it's not a hero, but Sekingar, who returns his HA-provided artificial eye and hand. He says that he's going to the Neo Heroes as their organisational details and plans for hero development are superior. He stands his ground and counters McCoy's accusation of his jumping ship to sell HA secrets to the Neo Heroes with some shade of his own, saying that he's a company man and knows no one trusts a traitor.

All starts to make sense once Sekingar picks up his new equipment and establishes comms with Wild Emperor. This is all part of a plan to infiltrate the Neo Heroes, find out what they're up to, and assess whether it poses a threat to heroes. Sekingar exits the lift to go out to the pick-up helicopter, only to find Metal Bat waiting for him. Metal Bat will be joining him as his body guard, after having been asked to do so by Sicchi as a favour. Since Sekingar is someone who has earned Metal Bat's respect -- not to mention going into danger like a hero -- he's only too happy to do so. The pair make their way to the Neo Hero chopper.

The earned trust and respect between those two is wonderful to see.

Changing topic, there's another not-quite-a-hero guy we've yet to hear about. Garou. We start out with a glimpse of what the Bang dojo dynamics must have been like. Toxic! He's back, and he's starting right where he's left off, terrorising Charanko. Bang quickly puts an end to it with a knock to his head and puts him to wiping the floor. Working his way up from the bottom of the pecking order is the only way to be accepted anew, Bang insists. Soon, it's time for Garou to head out to his court-ordered part-time job. Even as he grumbles about having too much to do, there's an eagerness and lightness to Garou as he heads off to earn money. The dojo sees him off.

Charanko settles down to relax at last, only to be shocked to see King come pay a visit. Inside, King tries to explain his current predicament to Bang, telling the old man about the near-miss he had with Atomic Samurai the day before. Unfortunately, between the old man's hardness of hearing, King's roaring heart beat, and how much King is muttering, Bang can't hear it. Finally, desperately, King shouts, 'Please make me stronger.' And that is where we end the chapter.

Shall we have some meta then?

META

Self-Efficacy

I love it when characters help themselves. There was a time that I nearly quit watching One-Punch Man: it was in episode 9, when despite everyone's efforts, the Deep Sea King had not been checked, and then Saitama dispatched it with one punch. I felt acutely depressed rather than elated or relieved: what was the point of a series where only one character's actions mattered? Thankfully, I gave it one more episode and the other S-Class heroes started getting introduced, with Tatsumaki showing that she was far from chopped liver. Good. The manga has more space, and it has given characters the opportunity to try more ways of understanding and trying to solve their predicaments, and I. LOVE. IT.

Carefully weighing up the threats and any opportunities this new thing poses rather than simply reacting.

I've Got My Eye On You

Sorry, I'm allowed one Dad Joke a day and today's your turn for me to set it upon you. The sight of the two one-eyed men casting sidelong glances at each other, sizing each other up, and each daring the other to come clean was splendid. McCoy has put himself in a great position to do harm to the Hero Association. He's the vice chief of operations and has made himself seem indispensable in these frightening times. He may be up to evil dealings -- and in chapter 188 we've seen that he's actively set up Amai Mask to fail and is colluding with the Neo Heroes, but he's nowhere near as untouchable as he thinks he is. It's good to see Sekingar and Isamu working together to thoroughly understand what McCoy is really up to and what the Neo Heroes' true intentions are, rather than simply jumping on the first evidence of wrongdoing and losing their leads. I'll come back to this in a sec.

However, McCoy knows that Wild Emperor is onto him, and what with having suggested the Neo Heroes to Sekingar in the first place, is sure to be wary about Sekingar's true intentions. This isn't going to be an easy mission for either of them. I have no doubt in the strength of Metal Bat's arm, but man, he's a little too open for a mission, isn't he?

They know each has dirt on the other. Who will crack first?

​

A Hero Is As A Hero Does

What I love about the cover of 189 is that it features people who act heroically whether or not it's in a capacity traditionally known as 'hero'. This pair of chapters has really been bringing that out. Sekingar's frustrated heroism is finding an outlet in looking out for heroes, even at risk to himself. Sicchi may not want to be a hero, but his unwavering concern for the well-being of humanity and willingness to find ways to use his position to help those who can make a difference shine here. He's a good boss. King and Saitama over in the distance need no explaining. And as for Garou, even as he's not willing to admit it yet, he's a hero through and through.

Speaking of Garou...

​

The Years Come Off, What New Experiences Will Grow?

It really disconcerted a lot of fans to see Garou be the slightly immature teenager he actually is rather than the young man he's been posturing as. Despite how he's being knocked around, there's a lightness to Garou which just goes to show how heavy the burden he'd placed on himself as Fixer of the World was. I've ranted before about Bang's style of dojo management -- the idea of being able to punch down definitely came from him.

Apples don't fall far from trees, after all.

It's not just Garou who has gotten a second chance to do better, but Bang as well. Between Garou and the former disciples who have started coming back, there are a lot of people looking to see if he'll do right by them this time. I hope he's up to it.

King? Eh, I'll leave his tale of woe to the next review!

​

Small Note

How did you know that? Why are you telling me this? These are questions that ONE takes the time to scrupulously ask: knowledge doesn't come to one just because one is smart. It has to have a source, and that source has to have a reason for sharing it with you. It's really nice to see that Phoenixman's knowledge of the Hero Association's backroom dealings comes from having been a previous captive.

I spy with my little eye, a little monster not all growed up yet

[carionto]

A Proper Welcoming Party - P3

Part 1 and 2

Two more discharges from the Main Defense Railgun to make a final point, then, once the Vice Admiral Krastina's ship, Darting Juniper, jumped in a couple of minutes after the last of the pirate ships had engaged their hyperdrives for an emergency jump, Bertha's Bosom docked back to the Heart of Liquid Stone to resume loading cargo. The Vice Admiral hailed the mining station:

"We heard your distress call and arrived as quickly as able. Seems like the show's over though?"

"Yeah, after the call we did a more thorough scan of their ships and realized they were no more than tin cans. The freight transport ship, Bertha over here, took a few shots, to a bit of a shock honest - completely atomized them, you can still see the trail even. Then they all fled in random directions."

"Understood. I'll sound a general alarm for the entire system. It'll at least be good to have everyone put what we drill all the time into action, even if the threat is less than the fake "Not-a-drill" drills us military crews go through."

"Still, Darting Juniper, we know there are some dumb enough out there to try. Next ones might be flying aluminium cans!"

Joked the station manager, Garrison Bronhjaven. The Vice Admiral, while chuckling internally, gave an expected serious military response, then after a few hours of no new reports, resumed her regular patrol and monitoring duties.

This incident will be recalled unflatteringly as "That time Bertha smacked a pirate fleet with her Bosom out of Sol."

...

Big Thrasher was alone.

He punched in the coordinates himself, but forgot his physique was above standard console size and fat-thumbed a really random patch of completely empty space.

Navigation computers get scrambled after an emergency jump as they require precise input and reference data for both the start and end locations to maintain knowledge of where in space a ship is. Doing so takes time as the computers need to access and cross-reference their current location with that in the database, and then calculate for time, distance, and spatial distortion to know where each of the relevant landmark objects will be upon arrival.

With an emergency jump, you just punch in a direction and go for however long the current energy reserves in the drive will last. There is a minor delay to let the computer adjust enough to not head straight for any known celestial object, but other than that, seconds compared to the minutes you don't have in an emergency.

Another double-edged sword to this - emergency mode raises the power use limits of a hyperdrive to be above energy generation, allowing you to travel much faster at the cost of not being able to stop until the drive is completely empty. Then to get the drive working again takes anywhere between a few hours and several days as you need to charge it to full before you can turn it back on. And then even more time to integrate all the navigational data back into the hyperdrive so that it can actually go anywhere.

In short, Big Thrasher will have quite a lot of time to think about the choices he made in his life to get to where he is right now.

_____________________________

I'm kinda averse to killing off characters in my writings, so I think I've accidentally created a recurring comedy villain here. Also, technology details, was not what I intended to write about, it just sort of happened, the words come out and I just go with it and use them however seems fitting. Don't mistake all these details and additions and explanations for a plan - I don't know what is going to happen or what I'm building towards, if anything. But when/if I do figure it out, I will make all of this connect and make enough sense. Hopefully.

[bhaalble]

I've dug around Act 3 enough times that I think I'm prepared to put in my wishlist for whenever ultimate edition releases. Understand these are all elements that may be present in mild degrees in Act 3 as it currently exists, but I need it expanded on drastically.

-More breakup reactivity in Act 3. I understand keeping it a bit on the minimal side in the early acts since you can flag those on accident/it can be pretty casual in nature. But by Act 3, you've locked in to a committed relationship. That's the kind of thing thats going to impact your dynamic severely if you end things. Having Gale sniffle a little and then immediately jump to Besties dialogue was WILD.

-I get the impulse to keep the team together in Act 3 because by that point there's a lot of story content you could potentially miss out on but I really do wish they'd been a little bolder in what choices let you drive companions away. Karlach, Laezel, Astarion and Wyll especially all have things they REALLY should ditch the player for, or at least require persuasion to stick around (allying with Gortash for Karlach, taking the astral touched tadpole/sleeping with the Emperor for Laezel, fighting Cazador without him for Astarion and hooking up with Mizora for Wyll). The hirelings system ensures the player won't be left mechanically shorthanded, and all of these are choices the player has to know would alienate their companions.

-A GODDAMN TAVERN SCENE. AN INN ROOM SCENE. SOMETHING. Let me party with these people!!! The tiefling party is so goddamn good I need more moments like that in the story!!!

-More content for allying with Gortash/Orin. I'd even accept this as a Durge exclusive, for right now allying with either of them just sort of feels meaningless. Gortash gets a good cutscene or two but it doesn't really feel like a partnership so much as him sitting there waiting for you to do what you were gonna do anyways. A reality where Orin or Gortash offer meaningful aid and interaction with you to help you take down the other would've been so interesting, especially for a Durge, because it can be another avenue through which to understand your dynamic with Bhaal's cult if Orin thinks you're arriving penitent and ready to submit to her authority

-Much as it is a fun surprise to run into the tieflings throughout the city I'd love a quest where if you find Alfira she'll invite a bunch of them over to the Elfsong for a "made it to the city" celebration. Again we really needed more moments of just. Being. in this act.

-Everyone and their mother has said this but Gortash's coronation needed so much more hype and build up around it. Why is the coronation of an Archduke being treated with all the import of just. Electing a new Senator. Why is Gortash just interrupting the proceedings to explain the Evil Plan to you while all the patriars wait in polite silence. Why is the only real pushback on entry you get just a lone Steel Watcher going hey. Dont kill anything >: (. Also considering the implications is that Gortash murdered literally all these people shortly after. Why were there zero consequences to this and zero comment for anyone in the outside world.

[two-reflections]

What is your take on the best reading order for Salamanders-stuff?

I starteed with the first half of the Heresy, jumped to Vulkan's Primarch-novel after Unremembered Empire, read the "let's bring him back"-arc of the Heresy, Read the 40k Omnibus, returned to the Heresy ... and that was NOT ideal!

So, what would you recommend? And, what aditional 40k-books besides the Omnibus do you think are esential?

TL;DR - I'm not the best person to ask because there's a lot I haven't read, but imo, if you're not invested in the Horus Heresy, go straight to Nick Kyme's series. Salamander Omnibus, or better, pick up the Lords of Nocturne set that includes Rebirth. (Coming out this Spring!) Alternatively, read Forge Master first and then go to Tome of Fire. If you are invested in the Horus Heresy already, maybe starting there is better, but again, I'm not the best person to ask about that.

Long answer below!

To be honest, I'm not sure I have a good answer for this because any time anyone discusses reading orders, I always think "Whatever order keeps you interested and reading is the best." 😅

Also, I know this is pretty much a crime, but I haven't finished the Salamander-focused Heresy-era books. I... Really struggle with the Heresy, tbh. I fell in love with 40k through a tabletop RPG set in the 41st millennium, and I still tend to think of the Heresy as a quasi-mythical thing that happened in the distant past. Currently, I use the Heresy-era books I have as reference material, but I recognize that not completing them leaves huge gaps in my knowledge. I plan to get through the Salamanders ones (and a few other 30k books, including Josh Reynolds’ ones!) this year.

I read the Tome of Fire series around 2019 and have gone back to various parts since, but I haven't fully reread it. I should do that. I've reread Rebirth a few times, including recently, because it hits juuust right for me. Also, I have a physical copy. 😅

I don't feel super qualified to answer because of all that, but I suppose my recommendation would depend on whether the reader jives with Nick Kyme's writing or not.

If they already like 40k and don't mind Nick Kyme's style, (like you and me, yay!) the available choices are either the 40k Salamanders books or the Horus Heresy. Unless a reader is already invested in the Heresy series, I'd say pick up the Lords of Nocturne collection that's coming out this April, as that will contain the whole of his Salamanders series, several short stories and Rebirth. (Finally! Maybe people will actually read my favourite Salamanders novel now.) Alternatively, the old Salamanders Omnibus has most of the same material, but without Rebirth.

After that, they have three choices: Dive into the Horus Heresy, go for David Annandale’s Primarch novel and/or his Space Marine Battles Book Forge Master, or follow me into the sad world of scrounging for snippets in codexes and White Dwarf. 😭

That being said, I honestly think the 8th Edition Codex: Salamanders is worth a look for readers, despite being game-focused. There are lots of fiction snippets in there. Would be fun to see fanfic authors expand some of them... FFG's Deathwatch RPG sourcebook also does a good job at setting the vibe, though it's older and a little out of date.

There are some solid short stories out there too. I love Burden of Angels, but the two by Graham NcNeill in Shattered Legions are pretty good. (Shattered Legions might be another good way in, hmm.) Artefacts was an interesting read, I really liked Vulkan's voice in it.

For people who struggle with Nick Kyme's style, reading David Annandale’s Vulkan: Lord of Drakes and/or Forge Master might be the best way in. Personally, I found Vulkan: Lord of Drakes a bit strange and didn't finish it, but although I've only just started Forge Master, I'm enjoying it so far. It's from the PoV of a techmarine and the first Chapter contains a description of Nihilan's forces besieging Heliosa. If someone read that book first and then moved onto the Tome of Fire, they might be a bit better primed to roll with the story. I think Overfiend also has a Salamander in it, but I haven't read that one yet. Also, Annandale’s debut The Death of Antagonis was Black Dragons-focused, but I haven't read that one either.

One more thing a reader could do is find media relevant to conflicts the Salamanders were involved in. For example, there isn't (as far as I'm aware) a Salamanders-focused novel set during the 3rd War for Armageddon. However, by reading about that conflict in general, a fan would come to understand a bit more of their favourite Chapter's history. (This is why I was asking for material related to the Talledus War recently!)

Sorry I couldn't give a better informed answer! Maybe I'll have a more fleshed out opinion later this year. 😊

[jaythelay]

I feel like TF2 had a really bad time in development hell for a while and the devs are just sick of it at this point. Stuff not working out, not making it to release, and simply put, not wanting to maintain any new ideas.

They had a medieval 2Fort and for the life of me, the only conclusion I can come to is they didn't want to maintain 2 separate experiences for the same game. MvM being a departure they...basically stopped work on eventually too. Hilariously, it being a horde-type game probably being what kept it going, much like with L4D from Counter-Strike.

Feels like alot of stuff at Valve just didn't work for a decade. and I think it's because nobody was forced to finish their work. And unfortunately that's just a simple aspect of creation that not everyone can handle, no restrictions. I imagine this also lead to people who did a lot of work, not getting full credit, or having their ideas superseded by essentially leaches who contributed nothing before, but have Their idea on how it should be.

That also would explain how the FUCK they canceled L4D3. What the fuck company doesn't get that shit finished one way or another? I can appreciate the freedom that Valve allows, but I think THAT should've been the moment an adult spoke up and said "This shit hasn't been working for literal decades."

I heard they stopped having as much freedom, and while on paper it was great, you HAVE to have restrictions in creation. Otherwise nothing gets done, nothing progresses, and nothing really even gets started past the initial planning process. The thing is, all we've seen is the broad end of both spectrums. One that doesn't work enough to get stuff out the door, and one that doesn't work either, but garbage at least gets out the door every week.

I'd like to see Valve just move a bit on that spectrum, not the opposite end in any way, just force people to Finish The Work they started. Like Left 4 Dead 3 for example. I can't imagine most people in the division that grew were happy that some idiots fucked all their work up entirely. I also, would have fired the idiots who wanted to move L4D3 to fuckin' Unreal or whatever. God damn morons don't know what company they're working at. Want to know the answer? You keep it on Source 2 because I wouldn't fucking buy it if it was on another fucking engine. No confidence in your own engine also paints a VERY poor image of literally EVERYTHING about the company, their engine, their work culture, god what an embarrassment.

Seriously though, I think people should probably chill on the "savetf2" stuff. I don't think that's gonna inspire anyone there to work on it anymore. Just kinda...annoy them that they can't say "Guys this was HELL to work on and almost nothing got out the door but cosmetics, failure after failure to get anything else out the door. We're tired, it's nearly been 2 decades. We aren't planning on shutting down servers or anything. Just keep playing if ya want to."

I'd much prefer a TF3 because I'm curious how they'll handle it. But I severely doubt we'll ever see another Valve big name title again. Which sucks shit, but what can ya do. The credit we can give, is outside of taking down TF2 clones they really don't need to take down, is that they at least allow people to do whatever the hell they want with their IPs. Do you think Valve was ever gonna make HL2VR? Honestly. Doubtful. The only reason Half-Life got an update is because of the SteamDeck, otherwise, that update would never have happened. They aren't interested in going back to Source anytime soon, they're jumping to Source 2.

Now there is a possibility they come back to other titles to give it the SteamDeck treatment, but I have high doubts of that either. HL was a blatantly obvious choice and Valve not having it work well for their own hardware is actually unconscionable. L4D is the embodiment of that meme with the skeleton under water, Portal doesn't really need much.

So I put forth a question I've pondered: Why is there even a Valve? It's not called ValveVR, nor ValveDeck, it wasn't a Valve Machine, or Valve controller, and Valve hasn't released a (good/playable) game since the 360 era. An update/total revision for Counter Strike is simply expected when it's their only real game success in years. So, otherwise, why is there even a Valve? Seems like they'd just morph into Steam by now. I also think it'd quell the fires of people wanting more games and updates.

I'd rather them NOT quit making games outright, but...like man, I've been playing L4D since I was at least 12yo, Half-Life since I was 3-4. I've been waiting. They've had the time to tell us what they're doing and thinking, them not telling us, feels like it's because they themselves don't even know or it's a total shit show. But when they do actually know what they're doing, they come out with confidence. Hardware and Steam has been their only confidence in decades. I'd rather have an answer to whether or not these IPs are genuinely dead, than have that carrot hanging in front of me anymore. Sure, I can ignore the carrot, but it's still there.

I think nearly 20 years is enough time for Valve to comment on...just...anything people have questions for anymore. I'm kinda sick of guessing what is even going on over there. This isn't a hate-post or anything, just a grouchy old man yelling at the sky sorta thing you've seen a million times before, just probably on the opposite spectrum of the main discussions. I don't want an update for TF2, I want an update on Valve. Not Steam, not their hardware, not specifically their IPs, Valve themselves, what the hell is going on over there.

[mr-entj]

Hi Mr. ENTJ, congrats on the new job offer. It's good to hear INTJ and Kobe & Co. are doing well, too.

I'm an ENTJ currently in my fourth year of my Computer Science PhD specializing in Machine Learning/Data Mining, and I know that you know how quickly this field moves. There's loads of advice about how "doctoral programs a marathon, not a sprint" and students need to pace themselves and have work-life balance in order to not burn out. Following these principles, I've made it this far unscathed (in terms of mental health deterioration) and managed to stay in my program.

With luck, an understanding advisor, and low amounts of admin work (emails, meetings-that-could-be-emails, etc.), and good self management, I have been able to work 40 hour workweeks for the most part and stay on track. That being said, I am currently in a period of time where I am increasing to 50 hour workweeks in order to meet a conference deadline at the end of June 2023 (time of writing is mid-late April 2023). As long as I show up to work every day and do my best, I expect this paper will be finished by the time my internship starts. This is fine by me; deadlines need to be met, and I want to continue with my current 5-year PhD trajectory (as opposed to taking longer).

Speaking candidly, I have ADHD and am also Autistic, and maintaining this 40hr/week is critical in preventing the "I wake up in the morning wondering if I've accomplished anything meaningful with my life" feeling that gets in the way of me doing very much at all with my day. I also notice that when I am in the *deep throes* of burnout, my ability to pull back and look at the bigger picture takes a nap and I make myopic, hasty decisions. It's a recipe for bad research.

I've relaxed my "good work-life balance" constraint to simply "do not enter the *deep throes* of burnout". My question is for what lies after this period of time: I will be entering a summer research internship. I am concerned I will not perform well at my internship and will not be able to study as hard for full time interviews as a result of my choices now. Any tips for optimizing this recovery time and post-burnout damage control? Is this an ill-posed question, and there is no way to have my cake and eat it too?

Thanks for your time and consideration, Mr. ENTJ.

You can have your cake and eat it too, you'll just need to endure for the next few months.

Some thoughts on your situation in no particular order:

Get therapy and medication for the ADHD and autism if you haven't already. Mental health issues should never be left untreated especially when you're attempting ambitious and difficult goals. It would be like trying to win a race with a broken leg.

Set strict guardrails to get adequate sleep and nutrition. Don't compromise on either of these two because it'll severely impact performance. During the most intense periods of my life, meal planning worked really well so I could grab and go healthy meals without long prep time. Poor health choices lead to low energy, brain fog, and bad moods. Healthy food/snacks, hydration, vitamins, exercise (even a quick 15 minutes of cardio when my scheduled was packed) made me 10x more effective.

Reach out to the summer internship team and learn more about expectations so you can start planning ahead to manage your time and prepare to hit the ground running. Most summer internships aren't time-consuming and energy draining to the point they'd grind you down to dust. This is because interns require a lot of time to onboard which cuts into the 3-month summer term and they have limited access to information, skills, and experience needed to do more complex work. I wouldn't jump the gun and stress about underperforming without knowing the full scope of your role and responsibilities.

Ensure that you have at least one person from your summer internship who can speak highly of you. In the unlikely event you don't perform well in your internship, you'll still walk away with a solid professional reference to use for future full-time job offers. Pro tip: Companies won't interview every single person at the internship even if you fuck up. As long as they can verify you worked there and you have at least 1 person (more is better) who can speak to your abilities, you'll be fine.

Prioritize full-time job interviews > summer internships if the summer internship has a low chance of conversion to a full-time role. If the opposite is true, reverse that order. If you need to prioritize one of these two, prioritize the one that secures your desired outcome.

Focus on outcomes over input. Focus on the things you achieve, the milestones you reach, and the obstacles you overcome-- not the amount of hours you put in. A few weeks ago I fixed a $5 million problem by clearing up a misunderstanding with a 90-minute conversation. This 90-minute conversation was way more impactful than the 40-50 hours of work I put in the previous week. There's that John Wooden quote: "Don't mistake activity for achievement." Benchmark your progress towards achieving a 'meaningful life' with impact, not input.

[cannibalisticskittles]

got home a little after 1:00 and then launched into updating my sub plans bc. no way am i going to be good to work lmao. i normally wake up at 6 and it's 2:39 right now, even if emotionally i'm keeping it together, i will be so sleep deprived as to be less than useless

so. the deal with tonight. i'm working some shit out here and it's the gory details so. you've been warned.

my parents' neighborhood have a christmas celebration each year and they hire someone w/ a horse-drawn carriage; i think they work at one of the ranches nearby. buncha family came up for that.

i came back to the house earlier. i swap some laundry. i come downstairs and my dad is carrying my grandma onto the couch. surprising for several reasons; they had stayed back to ride the carriage and they shouldn't be back yet and... why is she being carried.

he's calling her name. she is... not responding. but he says "we need the inhaler" and leaves her with my grandpa so i think oh damn, okay, an asthma attack. the inhaler is found. but he's still calling her name trying to get her respond. she is... not responding. he says it sounds like she's maybe got something in her mouth or is trying to spit something up. at this point i have my phone out and i am mentally preparing to call emergency services. i figure he will tell us if/when that's needed but for now he seems to not think that's necessary.

...and then after a bit it becomes apparent that maybe he's not in a state to make that call. someone notes that my grandmother does not appear to be breathing at all now. "we should call," I say. "you or me?" to my mother. she doesn't know what to do; she's never called. i have; I call. my sister and her friend come down at that moment. my sister's friend is immediately leaping to help and checking her breathing/identifying a pulse.

emergency services says, based on my description, to start on cpr. i tell them this. my father is still trying to get grandma to respond. she's drooling out spit now. i repeat that cpr should be started. he's focused on trying to get her to spit out whatever he feels is in her mouth. i am trying not to scare him but if cpr is needed -- and it is -- then it is needed NOW. i repeat myself again and my sister's friend also urges this. this time, he listens, mostly bc of the friend i think, who gently shifts my grandma to her and then quickly takes her fully into her arms and sets her on the floor. i am cpr certified but my arm strength is fucking weak; in the trainings I've done, i can only maintain sufficient depth for a short period of time. even so, i am trying to answer questions over the phone while preparing to do compressions -- but the friend jumps into them

they are fucking flawless. perfect technique. enough that I immediately know that I can shift my full focus back to the phone call because she's doing everything exactly right. tho it's hard to shift my FULL focus; grandma is vomiting listlessly onto the carpet; i have to tell my dad to turn her head to the side bc the friend is putting her energy into those compressions

paramedics get there fast. they're there within 4 minutes of the phone call. i realize that we have a whole host of family members who went on that carriage who will be coming back soon so go to check in on that as there's nothing more I can do but be in the way inside

unfortunately people are already coming back. I spend some time outside, gently explaining to both teen siblings, one at a time, "grandma isn't breathing. paramedics are here. it's your choice to go inside or not but it might be a scary sight." and then fielding questions from the rest

it's probably soon after that that she's wheeled out but it felt like a long time. couldn't have been more than 5 minutes later tho.

then I spend a few hours with my teen siblings. waiting for further word from my parents. my sister gets a text that is not a sure sign of bad things..... but probably is. she goes upstairs to "put the kids to bed" which is mostly just saying "hey. stop. go to bed. you have school. turn your lights off. seriously stop playing for a while, go to bed" and then she hollers for me to come up. it's obvious what comes next but. yeah. grandma has a DNR on file which we didn't know about. grandpa makes the decision to honor her wishes. up to us if we want to be there. up to the teen sibs too.

sister wants to be the one to break the news to them. both think it's too hard to be there. sister and i decide yes we will go. even if not there for the moment, we will be near.

god. she looked. god.

i'm used to seeing people all tubed up. my cousin got the full course of tubes in her time in the hospital. more, even. but god it's a hard sight to see.

she never regained consciousness. by all accounts, she was likely not in pain. and when they pulled the tubes she breathed for a bit but passed quickly after, within minutes.

just. jesus. we don't even know what happened. i mean, she was 74. she semi-recently battled cancer. we knew it was coming. but like this? so sudden? walking and chattering and drinking cocoa and then unresponsive in her son's arms? vomiting in unconsciousness as her sternum is broken from chest compressions?

it's been a hard night. i compartmentalize. i am. okay. there was some grief. there will be grief again. but i struggle to conceptualize death and it never quite feels real to me so it will be. well. not a fully linear path out of this.

i didn't even say hi to her beforehand. i was in the shower when she got there and then she left to go to the carriages before i did, and then we weren't in the same group. jesus.

[bluefox4]

Ok, so I'm just thinking about Young Justice (cartoon) and how season two would have been improved if there hadn't been the time skip. There is a lot about the time skip that lost people but the emotional impact that certain things could have had was just gone.

I re-watched it recently and there was a scene in the first episode that would have been so impactful if it had happen several seasons in with knowledge of these characters. It happens between Nightwing and Robin when Nightwing is assigning missions.

Nightwing: Tim, you'll be running Gamma. Robin: Me? Dick, I've never led a squad before. Nightwing: Making this a good opportunity to get your feet wet as a field leader. Robin: Because it's Gamma and you're not expecting trouble, or because we're stretched thin and you have no choice? Nightwing looks away before sighing and turning back to face Robin. Nightwing: Just don't die, ok? Robin's eyes widen as he stiffens slightly. Nightwing: And no unnecessary risks to the squad. That's an order. Robin nods.

The reason that this would have been impactful emotionally speaking is because of the death of Jason Todd. If this had happened a few seasons in we could have met Jason Todd, the second Robin. In Young Justice no one was sure if he had been a character until a hologram of him was shown in the grotto of fallen heroes.

As is, it just seems like Nightwing has been a bit protective of Tim. There's no reason for this scene to stand out. But on a re-watch my only thought was 'Oh this would have been impactful if I had actually known Jason. If there had been a arc of Tim trying to prove that he could watch out for himself and he didn't need Dick protecting him. Just don't die would have been really impactful if the death of the second Robin was known.' Which um, isn't what you want a person thinking when watching your show. It shouldn't be here is this missed chance. It should have been that emotional gut punch.

And I feel like that is part of the problem that parts of season 2 had. It expects that audience to come in with some knowledge already. I know of Jason Todd from cultural osmosis but that isn't enough to make me care about him in the context of the show that I watched. Batman the Animated Series didn't have him so he can be left out of Batman related material. My jump from 'Just don't die' isn't going to be 'oh Jason Todd must of died in this universe' its Nightwing seems a bit protective of Robin but that's probably because Robin doesn't have that much experience crime fighting either in general or in a group. Maybe he's been reckless? Maybe he's like Nightwing was when he was younger and isn't good at letting the group know the plan? But it isn't the second Robin died.

The fact that Robin doesn't really have many parts focused on him after that makes it feel like that should be a conclusion to an arc. A point where he steps out from being one of the focus characters and makes room for Blue Beetle to take over as one of the focus characters.

[m-u-g-i]

Anime Headcannons

Tokyo Revengers: When You Flinch

| Masterlist |

Genre: Angst, Angst to Fluff

NOTE: The following situations are ALL based on actual events that have occurred in the manga and anime. The relationships portrayed vary between romance, friendships and family. The characters are not automatically portrayed as your partner. However, it's all a personal preference, so feel free to imagine your own relationship with the characters.

⚠️DISCLAIMER⚠️: The following will contain mentions of violence, abuse, profanity, and traumatic events, including rape. There will be spoilers included in the following, so please read to your discretion.

Takemichi:

(Let's be honest, the man wouldn't even faze you. He'd be flying before he could even think about being aggressive, but for fictional purposes...)

With your best friend left in quite the state, reality exposed the severe escalation of possible danger in his plan of bringing Kisaki down. Ever since Takemichi met with Hina's dad, the poor boy became lifeless. He was given no choice, but to leave Hina for the sake of her safety and despite his opposition, this was best decision at the moment and you hoped things would get better soon, so the two can reunite freely.

They were a beautiful match. She was the half your best friend needed to balance himself, but now, Takemichi was left unbalanced. You were helpless in comforting your friend with simple back rubs and say everything would be okay.

"I understand why you're in this state, however, she'll take you back if you explain everything."

"These bumps and bruises prove otherwise," he comments with a dead tone, referring to the beating Hina gave him after breaking up with her.

"Just let it go, Y/N. You know what Mr. Tachibana said and he's right. I don't want to drag Hina into this mess."

"But, she's the whole reason you're in this mess, not saying it's her fault by the way. Maybe if you told Hina about what's going on, you wouldn't have such a hard time."

"You honestly think she'd believe me if I went up to her saying, 'Oh, hey. Just so you know, I'm a time leaper and you die in the future, but I'm trying to save you, so please understand where I'm coming from.'"

He glared at you as if you said the stupidest thing in the entirety of human history.

"She'd hate even more if I told her."

"So, you're just going to give her up? You both were meant for each other and now, we understand Kisaki is behind all of this. We know his motive. All we have to do is take him out of picture, but it's going to be very difficult, especially since they used be friends. If we don't Hina the truth, well-- you know. Just, bro, you never know unless you try."

He just rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Just drop it, Y/N."

"No! This is Hina, we're talking about, Takemichi! The girl you've set your heart on! I know how you are and you're not the type of person to give up on those he cares about! Remember, we have each other! We can do this together, if we tried, bro! Maybe we could tell her together and if she knew the future, it'd be easier to save her! Knowing her, she would at least try to be a bit understanding--"

"Are you stupid?!" He yelled out, causing you to jump.

Takemichi began to get a little aggressive, getting closer to your face.

"After everything I've done, you're going to expect me to simply allow the love of my life, the reason of me being here, to involve herself in the very mess I'm trying to keep her out of?! You must f*cking high because you obviously forgot the whole purpose of me time-leaping here!"

His face, full of anger and irritation, was inches away from your's as your poor ears had to endure his tone.

He motioned to push his bleached hair back, but with his face so close to yours, you reacted differently.

Flinching your head down, preparing yourself for a hit with your eyes closed, but after a few moments of nothing, you open your eyes to see a hurt Takemichi, worried and confused.

"Y/N. D-Did you think I wa--?"

"I-I did-- Well, you know how I-- you know? I mean, it's n-not wha-- Uhm." You nervously chuckled as you struggled to explain to him your reaction.

You looked down ashamed, afraid to look at him, only to be engulfed in a warm embrace.

"I'm so, so, so sorry," he whispered through tears. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Responding back, you hug him back, finding comfort in your childhood friend's embrace.

"It's cool. You were simply frustrated and rightfully so. It's my fault for being inconsiderate of your feelings."

"No, you weren't being inconsiderate. You were just trying to help and I just lashed my emotions out on you. The last thing I need is for you to feel unsafe with your own friends, especially me."

With a sigh, he pulled away from the hug. His hands remained on your shoulders as he contemplated for a few moments.

"I'll talk to Hina. I just need time."

"You didn't have to. It was just a suggesti‐‐"

"No, you have a point. Maybe if she knew Kisaki's motive, it'd be easier for her to avoid him, but I just...I need to conjure some sort of plan that wouldn't go down the drain in an instant," he nervously chuckled.

You chuckled up a smile and lightly punched his shoulder.

"That's fine, bro. Just hopefully Hina isn't worrying too much of her crybaby of an ex," you remarked.

"Hey!"

"Oop- did I say that out loud?"

Mikey:

Your suspicion of Kisaki had increased with every passing day since he's joined. The uneasiness radiating off of him and the discomfort in Takemichi's stance could be easily sensed by anyone. You could tell everyone in Toman hasn't fully set their hearts to Mikey's decision, which differentiates the various times Mikey's decision only made them stronger.

Baji's death was your last straw in enduring Kisaki's antics and you have finally decided to discuss matters with Mikey. Leaving your small studio, you later decided to go over to the Sano abode, greeting his grandfather and Emma before going to Mikey's shack-- previously Shinichiro's--outside his grandfather's dojo.

You knock on the door to be greeted by a tired Mikey with doriyaki in his mouth. He tilts his head in confusion, wondering why you're presence was behind his door. You smile nervously before he shows you to come in.

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about. Hopefully, you can hear me out."

With doriyaki being lazily held by his lips, he shrugged with his normal nonchalant expression and sat you both down on his couch.

"Uhm, babe, I know it's not the right time, but I-- Uhm..." you hesitantly acknowledged.

He furrows his eyebrows, confused. Though highly fearful of your upcoming words, you knew it would be best to just rip the bandaid off.

"I came to suggest Kisaki to be fired from Toman."

His expression was unreadable, yet you could understand he was upset.

"Why?" He asked, slightly irritated.

Taking his tone in, you could not handle your suppressed emotions.

"I mean think about it. Up until now, everything in Toman had been fine. But once Kisaki came in, everything went haywire. Baji left, Kazutora came back, Valhalla wanted a match, I mean, do you not get a certain feeling from him?"

Yanking his doriyaki out of his mouth, he snarled a response.

"Are you saying I'm incapable of making good decisions?"

"What? That's not it at all!"

"Then, what is it?!" He exclaims.

"It was a suggestion! No, a plea! You know I don't ask anything of you, but right now, I at least would want you to stay away from him!" You explain.

"But, Pah-chin, babe! He promised to bail him out," he states.

"I know, but how in the hell can a 13 year-old manage to get a whole juvenile out of jail, Mikey?!"

As the partner of Toman's invincible commander and the mature one of the relationship, you've grown to realize that Mikey listens to people who are straight-forward with him. Usually, once you state your case, he'd listen to you and take your input into consideration. However, he seemed incredibly agitated at your statement and his eyes narrowed--similarly to a kitten's--in pure fury.

He stood in anger with you following, attempting to calm him down.

"So, you want Pah-chin to stay in juvie?! Is that it?!"

"Don't even go there, Manjiro!" You scold. Hearing his birth name had Mikey realize how serious you had become.

"You know everyone in Toman is the only family I have and you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you guys! In fact, I had only agreed to allow Kisaki in Toman for you! For you, Manjiro! I tolerated his bullsh*t, not for Toman, not for myself, but for you!"

"Then, why do you want him out?!"

"Because he killed Baji, Manjiro!" You yelled, catching him off-guard.

"Think about it! The whole time we were fighting Valhalla, Baji's main target was Kisaki! Even on his death bed, he told Takemichi that he's the enemy! Babe, even Takemichi had to speak up on his behalf!"

"What the hell does he have to do with Baji's death?!"

"He's the reason Baji left in the first place! Baji knew going after Kisaki as a fellow Toman member would dishonor you, giving him no choice but to join Valhalla! Had Kisaki not joined Toman, Baji probably would've still been here!"

"So, you're blaming me for my best friend's death?!"

"No, I'm saying that he's got something under his sleeve to manipulate you! For example, Moebius' Osanai is terrified of the dude! A full-grown man and a former gang leader is afraid of a f*cking child! A child, babe! Can't you see?! He's using you for something, Manjiro! He's trying to weaken you!"

"Now, you think I'm weak?!" He exclaimed.

"Stop putting words in my mouth! All I'm saying is that we've lost enough and leaving him in Toman is not only going to destroy the sole purpose of this group, but it could endanger and probably influence you in the wrong direction!"

"Who in the hell do you think you are, degrading my authority of this gang?!" he exclaimed.

"Mikey, I wasn't trying to degr--"

"No, you were. You thought I couldn't handle my own gang, didn't you?"

With every word spoken from his mouth spewed a venomous intention as he walked toward you causing you to move back with your backside eventually hitting the wall.

"No! It's nothing like that! I was just worried about you and Toman and I didn't want Kisaki t--!" you tried to defend.

"Shut up!" he shouted while punching the wall behind you, causing you to flinch and shriek as a reflex. With your hands in a defensive position, Mikey's narrowed eyes then widened once more, softening seeing the fear and shock on your face. Neglecting the pain coming from the joints in his fist, he softly caressed your cheek with the same hand.

"B-Baby?"

You jolted at the touch, but remained still. You took a deep breath, faking a smile and pretended to melt into his touch even though he felt how bad you were shaking and how tense your figure became from his touch. With tears glossing your eyes, you forced a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, bub. I'll be okay. J-Just caught me off guard. S-Sorry for upsetting you. I'll be going. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Your cracked tone and glossy eyes made it so much more painful for him to watch. His baby thought they were in danger... from HIM. Attempting to hide your tears, you were rushing to leave, only for your waist and arms to be held in a firm grip by young yet powerful arms. Frozen and tense, you were left afraid and nervous of what were to possibly happen. However, the harsh and aggressive tone you were expecting was replaced by a soothing melody of your boyfriend's voice.

"Don't leave, please. I-I don't want to lose someone again, p-please. I didn't mean to be mean to you."

Your figure shakes in fear as silent sobs made your entire body tremble. That alone had your boyfriend tear up as well.

"P-Please look at me, Y/N."

Though hesitant, you turned around to face your lover with your head low, trying to hide your depressed state. With his fingertips touching your chin to motion you to look at him, you flinch once more as you both make eye contact, displaying the vulnerability within you both. Kissing your nose, he hugs you tenderly as you sob in his shoulder with him petting your head. Weak in your knees, you both drop to the floor while in each other's embrace, letting both of your emotions flow. After a few moments of sentiment, he pulls away, caressing your face with such grace, and wipes your tears.

"Do you want doriyaki? Ken-chin brought some over. You can have the last one."

Although it may seem very childish to others, Mikey isn't used to being vulnerable in front of others. He's had his moments with you, but it's a long process. Knowing Mikey since young, you've grown to understand that doriyaki is a gift he simply doesn't hand out, but it's a product of pure sincerity and genuine apologies. With your tears still spilling, you let out a broken chuckle.

"Alright, Manjiro."

Draken

Today had been an incredibly long day for both you and your older brother, Ken. He had came home from a Toman meeting after Emma's funeral and would simply want to sleep to rest his head. You both weren't technically siblings, but you both considered yourselves as such since you were raised in the same brothel.

You just came home after an "argument" with your boyfriend and was all patched up. Crappy bandaging covered your neck and foundation and concealor were basically caked onto your face. Refusing to say a word to anyone, you finished setting up your brother's plate from the take-out one of the employees ordered for you and your brother. While he was changing, you went into his room and approached your brother with the food, only for his hand to stop you in your place.

"No, not today, Y/N."

"But, you haven't eaten all day today," you softly whispered.

"I ate after the meeting," he said without looking at you.

"Liar. Please eat, Ken. You can hate and ignore me after. Just please eat, K--"

"No!!" He yelled. You jumped at the sudden burst. He turns to you with such hatred and anger to which you could not fathom.

"I don't think you understand the kind of day I've had, Y/N. I lost the one girl I've had my heart set on, I had a long meeting with the gang, and to top it off, I have to deal with your BS once more! And what's up with the make-up, huh?! You trying to impress that sissy little boyfriend of your's?! You want to end up like those hoes?! Huh?!"

He kept backing you up until you were against his door frame, trembling in fear of this foreign man that was supposed to be your brother.

"Is that what you are?! A hoe?!"

His hand was aggressively pointing to you, open-handedly right near your face, but not touching it with no intentional harm. Yet, your reflexes thought otherwise.

Dropping his plate, you lifted your arms to defend yourself from the potential harm that you awaited, not caring if the shards from the glass cut you. With eyes glossy and closed, you trembled before your brother, not really paying attention to your surroundings.

After a minute of silence, you felt fingers touching the raw skin of your neck. Your eyes popped open as you immediately tried to cover up your skin with your bandages. You made eye contact with Ken and saw his expression become more aggravated yet soft and almost broken.

"W-What the hell is that on your neck?" He stuttered.

"N-Nothing," you answered.

Not believing you, he almost immediately forcefully removed your bandages to see a variation of hickeys, bruises and fingerprints covering almost the entire layer of skin. You could barely see your natural skin color anymore.

His jaw tightened as he stared at your condition for a few moments before leaving his room. In a panic, you follow.

"Wait! Where are you going?! Ken!"

He ignored your cries of his name as he made his through the halls, disregarding the squeaks and squeals of the women he pushed aside to go to one of the employees' dressing room. Bursting through the door, there were shrieks of surprise from Ken's intrusion. It was quite obvious there must've been a client and employee "discussing business", although your brother really could've cared less. Still in an angered state, he came back out with make up wipes before slamming the door shut. He instantly began to wipe your foundation and concealor off.

"K-Ken! Wait! S-Stop!!"

Ignoring your pleas, he continued to remove the make up quite aggressively, considering the tremendous amount you've applied. You winced and flinched at every contact towards your face until your bruises and cracked lips finally appeared. That sight alone caused your brother to step back in shock and drop the wipes with tears brimming his eyes.

You had panda eyes (a term referred to big black eyes on both sides, so bruised and swollen, that it'd resemble a panda) and your cheeks had large portions colored in purple, blue and bits of yellow. Your bottom was busted open and very swollen. It was almost impressive seeing how you managed to hide all those wounds with make up.

After hearing the commotion, the employees and the manager came to see what the fuss was about, including the employee in the dressing room your brother intruded.

"What the f*ck was that for Ke-- Oh sh*t. Y/N?" The woman asks from her dressing room door frame.

Her client even came out to see and they were all shocked to see you, a young child, covered in bruises and wounds with your brother shakily caressing your face. Tears fell from his eyes, similar to waterfalls, as he struggled to find the words to say.

"D-Did that bastard do this? And do not lie to me, Y/N! What did he do?!"

Being weakened by your brother's vulnerable state, you sobbed in front of him with his hands gently holding your face and your hands on his wrists. You couldn't resist the urge to let go, letting your emotions flow as you testified of your current relationship with your so-called boyfriend.

"Onii-chan. H-He was very angry. I-I told him t-that we had to attend a funeral, so I wasn't going to be able to go on our date today," you managed to get out.

Your hiccups and sniffles made the struggle much more difficult, yet you still had so much to say and your brother was very eager to listen.

"B-Bu-- But, he didn't care! He didn't care that we lost Emma-chan!" You yelled in his embrace.

"When did he do this?"

"After the funeral. When you were with the boys, he found me walking home and dragged me to his place a-and he-- He--" your hiccups got worse as your lungs clenched for oxygen.

"Breathe, bubba. Take your time. What did he do?"

"H-He yelled at me and-- Well, w-we started f-fighting. B-But, then he ripped my clothes a-and-- and-- He di-- He--"

No longer able in need of an explanation, he just embraced you tightly in his hold as you screamed in agony into his chest, allowing your emotions to flow. Everyone around you burned with hatred and empathy as the scene unfold.

As angry as Ken and the entire building became, they knew your physical and mental being came first.

After your emotional rant with your face soaked in tears, your brother engulfed you in the warmest hug you've ever received from him. You melted into his touch as your emotions began to calm down and fatigue overcame you. He carried you back to your room and tucked you in before tending to your wounds. He changed your clothes to more comfortable clothes, revealing more bruises and injuries.

Refraining himself from going ballistic, he continued to tend to you, hand-feeding you, a ritual you both picked up when one sibling was taking care of the other. Once he was done and you were knocked out cold, he then left your room, shutting your door.

"Don't worry, little sis. Big brother is going to make sure you never get hurt again." He then called Mikey and the other division captains stating how they may need to attend another funeral.

Mitsuya

Worry and concern cannot even describe the emotions running through your head. For weeks on end, your beloved boyfriend locked himself in his room, refusing to leave nor eat. Mana and Luna began to grow weary of their brother as he neglected his responsibility as an older sibling.

Ever since the death of Draken reached everyone's ears, Toman's members haven't been the same, especially Mitsuya, his Dragon Twin. With the Youth Fashion Show coming up, Mitsuya had been overworking himself, avoiding any form of social interaction. Finally fed up, you decided to confront him about his condition.

"Darling? May I have a word with you?"

With his back facing the door, he continued to work on his pieces.

"Not now, love. I'm busy," he says nonchalantly.

You sigh as you sat yourself next to him.

His stubble decorated his face handsomely, but it showed the lack of self-care and motivation inside of him. Moving his uneven bangs away from his face unto the back of his ear, you plant a kiss on his cheek only for him to flinch away in irritation.

"What by 'not now' do you not understand?" He says harshly.

"I was jus--"

"I'm busy right now, Y/N, meaning I do not have time for your shenanigans. If you want to be bothersome, please leave and bother someone else."

Offended, you angrily stood up with your blood boiling.

"Okay, you know what?! That's it! What the hell is wrong with you, Takashi?!"

No answer.

"When are you going to let go of your stupid pride and let the girls, let me, take care of you?! Whenever Mana or Luna even step for in here, you scold them and throw objects back at them! Seriously, Takashi! What the hell is your problem?!"

Standing up to meet you eye-to-eye, his eyes darkened in fury as he made eye contact with you.

"Well, my apologies if I wanted some alone time," he sarcastically commented.

"Oh! So, these past few weeks weren't enough for you?! That's all we've been doing, Takashi! Other than trying to feed you, what have we been doing?! Leaving you alone!"

"Well, if you have a problem with that, there's the door! Now if you excuse me, I still need to finish these piece!" He exclaimed.

"For what?! For yourself?! For the girls?! For Toman?! For what, Takashi?! Tell me!"

"You wouldn't understand, Y/N!"

"Then, help me understand, babe! I want to understand, but I can't if you don't tell me what's going on!"

He remains silent as he turns back towards you.

"This isn't what Draken would've wanted!"

"Draken's dead! He's dead!" He aggressively reminded you.

"I know he told you pursue fashion, but it was because you were happy and healthy. And if anything, you're neither! You're literally skin and bones and you refuse to allow anyone to help you or mourn with you!" You argued.

"I do not need your pity, Y/N," he snarled in a dangerously soft voice.

"This has nothing to do with 'pity', Takashi! This has to do with me trying to watch out for my beloved boyfriend and his well-being! I know you're not over his death, but you know this isn't what he would've wanted, regardless if he was here or not."

Motioning his hand upward, it was in the perfect position for a slap. Flinching, you awaited the impact on your cheek until...

"No! Don't do it, onii-chan!"

Looking back, you saw the two little girls running to your aid, hugging your legs. You realized you had forgotten to close the door, meaning the two younger ones probably heard everything. Their eyes spilled tears galore, creating such a heart-wrenching scene in front of the male.

"Don't huwt, Y/N-chan! You meanie Onii-chan!" Mana cried.

"Please, don't, Nii-chan," Luna begged through her tears.

Frozen in his spot, he felt speechless and helpless in what to do. You embraced the two young toddlers and carried them, one on each arm. Mana held your cheeks in her adorable little baby hands with her eyes teary with concern.

"Did Nii-chan hit Y/N-chan?" The young child asked.

You simply chuckled at her cute nature and smiled reassuringly.

"No, he didn't. He just saw a bug on my neck."

"Did he scare you?" Luna asked.

"A bit, but Nii-chan would never hurt me or you two," you state with a slight giggle.

Although the two girls fell for your smile, Mitsuya understood you well enough to know you felt terrified and shook violently from the fear, but refused to show the two toddlers.

"Okay, Onii-chan is tired, so let's get some ice cream before it's time to sleep," you suggested.

"Okay!" The two gleefully answered in unison. Shutting his door, you blew a sigh of relief from the intense incident, not realizing the male behind the door is bawling in guilt.

"I'm sorry, my love. I'll make it up to you, soon. I promise."

Baji

Thanks to Chifuyu, Keisuke happily made his way down the hall of his middle school with flowers in hands picked from the school's garden. With glee visibly taking place on his face, he was in search of his one and only, L/N Y/N.

You both originally met in primary school with him a year older than you and came to discover you both lived in the same complex. So, growing up, you were inseparable which led to Baji quickly developing strong feelings for you.

Despite his lack of intelligence, to which he fully acknowledges, you've always been kind and patient with him and always tried to help him in any way you could, especially with studying.

However, you suddenly disappeared for a whole year in your first year of junior high, but still managed to pass. Baji, on the other hand, without his study partner--and source of motivation--he got held back in his second year.

When he found out that you returned back to school and ended up in the same classroom as him, he took that chance to finally confess to make sure you never left again.

Peeking around the corner, he finds you by the lockers that hold the Second-Years' outdoor shoes, bringing a smile to his face. Yet, it almost instantly withered away seeing your bandaged face and bruised eye.

Anger quickly overcame him, causing him to clench his fists with the poor flowers still in hand. Swiftly approaching you, he reached out for you about to caress your bandaged cheek, a normal thing between only you two. However, unaware of his presence, let alone his intentions, you see a hand in your peripheral vision, causing you flinch hard.

You swat his hand in an attempt to defend yourself as you brought your arms up to cover your face and you shut your eyes, afraid of the incoming impact.

But, it never came.

"Y/N?"

The familiar voice threw you off.

You slowly open your eyes in confusion and was greeted by your beloved friend, staring you, worried and almost hurt. Shocked, you placed your arms down as awkwardness quickly filled the room.

You struggle to find the words to say as you scanned the area to make sure no one saw that. Despite knowing how harmless Keisuke is with you, if anyone were to see the scene that unfolded, they would've thought otherwise.

"H-Hey, Kei! U-Uh, wha-- what's up?"

You nervously chuckled as you attempted to change the subject and hopefully, have him disregard your reaction and condition. However, though Keisuke may not be the brightest academically, he's not stupid to know when his loved ones are in danger.

He clenched his jaw in pure frustration and you didn't miss the way the veins in his forehead and neck pulsed violently, almost bursting from the anger you visibly see coursing through his blood.

You shook in fear of the boy in front of you, only for him to gently caress your bandaged cheek, contrasting from the aggression he's suppressing for your sake.

"Who did this to you? And you know me, I don't want no BS excuse saying it was "nothing" or an "accident". These injuries were obviously inflicted on purpose. Now, spill it or trust me, I will rampage this entire neighborhood to the ground, if it means finding the bastard that did this to you."

You were praying he was only bluffing, yet the determination and sincerity in his eyes proved otherwise.

Swallowing the large lump in your throat, your eyes began to burn with tears as you stuttered out the truth. You looked down to prevent yourself from looking at the boy before you, but he was quick to lift your chin with a firm yet gentle grip, making sure you kept the eye contact with him.

Keisuke is the type to see through a lie through eye contact, so it's been a habit of his to have such a sharp glare. He's just making sure that every word you struggled to state was at least truthful.

"M-My dad. H-He, uhm, he cheated. O-On my mom," you started, trembling through every word that escaped your mouth.

Keisuke, however, remained attentive and patient to your explanation.

"T-Then, uh, then he left with the his s-side chick, leaving mom and me b-broke. S-So, we've been struggling and w-well, I couldn't pay the school fees last year, so--"

"You didn't attend school last year," Keisuke interrupted, to which you nodded in response.

"Yeah, so I-- Uhm. I used my i-insurance money for food and to at least, d-do the homework to pass school. Then, mom got a new b-boyfriend and well-- He, uh-- He--"

You trembled in his embrace as he could see right through the sentence you lacked to finish. He held you closely as he let you cry the emotions you've obviously been bottling in for so long.

"I-I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't! Mom doesn't do anything 'cus he pays the bills a-and I felt so alone and I d-didn't know what to do! I-I'm scared, Kei!"

You cry into his shoulder while suppressing his own tears. He lets go of hug before giving you the sweetest and most comforting kiss you've ever received--although it was your first kiss for both of you.

Melting into the contact, your depression momentarily withered away in his arms. Finally letting you breath, he pulls away and connects your foreheads with your cheeks in his palms.

"You're never alone. You have me and I am going to protect with every fiber of my being. Even if it kills me. You're mine and I'm yours and what you're going to do is pack your bags and move in with me. Later, we'll figure out what to do together, understood?"

"Kei--"

"I love you, Y/N. I have been in love with you and though I wanted to do it in a romantic setting, just know that I'll be here for you. Meet me at the shrine tonight at 6. Make sure you have your stuff ready and packed and bring it. If you're even a smidgen of a minute late, I'm bringing hell to that bastard, you got it?"

You nodded as he pecked your forehead.

"Good girl. Now, let's get to class. We'll worry about this later, okay?"

He then walking alongside you with his hand around your waist lovingly, but also in a state of protection. Walking through the hall with his flip phone in his free hand, he sent a quick message before going back to taking care of you. Though he may be ecstatic at your now renewed relationship, let's just say Toman's going to have a quick meeting after school.

"Hey, Kei?"

"Yes, baby?"

The nickname made you flustered as you shyly looked away from him.

"Uhm, I love you too, Kei. Have been, as well."

He finally cracks a smile from you as he reciprocated just the same. He pecks your lips once more before meeting your gaze with his.

"For now and for always, bubs."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed!

Good night, my loves ❤

[joculine]

DIE Issue #1 Reread (Gillen & Hans)

What an excellent series that keeps on giving. For those not in the know, DIE is a really incredible fantasy horror comic about a group of teenagers who were sucked into a tabletop roleplaying game and spent two years in the bodies of their characters. They got out eventually, but lost one member of their party—25 years later, they are sucked back in. It's fucking great.

Art

First things first, the extreme shadows and harsh lighting from above in the 1991 sequence add so much atmosphere. The whole thing feels like a dream, or perhaps a stage play. Stephanie Hans always does fantastic things with light in her work, but this is something else. Here, it gives the effect of the world melting away, the focus turns to the players and the game, nothing else. Great introduction.

(Scans don't quite do this scene justice. I've done a bit of Photoshop to try to darken the colors to match my trade, but there is a subtle flow between the colors that is missing from a digital image.)

The colors in the section outside the bar are jaw dropping. Blacks, reds, and blue make such a dynamic scene.

I really like how much it reflects the Neo's costume. What do we take from that? This is, after all, the future for these characters. Rainy, flooding lights and glass, new technology. No more swords, dragons, or taverns, just cars, smartphones, and cities. I think the Neo's role as the "future" will remain relevant as we get deeper.

Ash's Name

Ash (I'm going to be calling the lead character Ash, she/her) notes that the only person outside her family to use her first name is Sol's mother—a fact that seems pretty true in 1991 but no longer in 2018. As we see, her wife, sister, and several other members of the party call her Dominic in this time period, at least before the game starts. Chuck doesn't, though she asks him too. Izzy starts to, then switches to Dominic. She also apologizes for not being "woke" in the 90s, which is very funny to me.

Something interesting—Izzy is also the first one to switch back to Ash after using Dominic. When she is mad, upset that Ash is starting to form another plan, she calls her Dominic. When she seems to show pity towards her over Sol, she calls her Ash. Very interesting. If memory serves, we will see Izzy act in a similar way through the comic, mostly accepting Ash's status as a trans woman, but occasionally alienating her, intentionally or not. At least, I think this comes up a few times, I could be misremembering.

I'll be watching Izzy a lot this reread. I like her and I want to see if I can get more out of her story.

Of course, we don't yet know that Ash is trans, nor do we get explicit textual confirmation that she's a trans woman. But I mean, look at her.

One more thing about her name—the double meaning here is intense:

We find later that the word "party" in use to a group of people is one of the things stopped by Ash's geas. Given that Chuck and Izzy both call her Ash, that name is not prohibited by the spell, but it sure seems like Ash has done a lot to distance herself from it even without magic.

This interaction with a bartender is really the perfect spark to reintroduce the game. The gift he has is not for Dominic or his friends—it's for Ash's party, the people who made their way through the world of Die 25 years ago. That act of naming (unknowing by the bartender's part!) sets them down that path again.

ONCE MORE...

There's a question I do have here—did they have a choice? Obviously, Ash could have tried getting rid of the die. She didn't have to get the band back together either. Did she need to grasp it?

Yes and no, it seems. She's the only one reaching for it, everyone else is thrown back at the force. On the one hand, it we can read this as a heroic attempt to hold back the object of danger. On the other, we can see it as more desperate, a fight against the flow to take back former glory. You can pretty easily read Gollum jumping into Mount Doom here—LOTR will be invited as a metaphor a lot more soon.

This also speaks to the trans experience quite a bit. The feeling of pain, the feeling of impending death, the choice that is not really a choice at all. Her life is hollow, surrounded by depressing reminders, an occupation that doesn't appear fulfilling, a lack of friends, and an inability to move forward.

Transitioning saves lives—it's going to save Ash's. It's a shame she has to go through a whole dark fantasy adventure to get there, but everyone's path is different.

We'll see if anyone else in the party has such a strong longing for the game. Angela probably has things the worst out of the party, but currently Ash's problems are the only ones that don't get immediately worse (better in fact!) by entering the game again.

Final arc spoilers here, but Chloe also pointed out the double meaning of "THE GRANDMASTER THREATENS THE REALM"—Of course, you can read this as Sol causing chaos on Die, but as we learn, the original Grandmaster is just a cover for Die itself. The realm stated here isn't the game, it's Earth.

(Also, note the glitch effects around the d20... there's that Neo future motif again.)

It's All For You

I had honestly forgotten that Ash and Sol shared a birthday. It makes a lot of things click into place. Sol tells Ash that the game was made for her. He says it was made for the party. He does not (or at least not often) say it was made for himself.

I don't think this is entirely true. Did Sol want to create something where Ash could find herself? Where the party could achieve their dreams? Perhaps. But I think the game is as much a gift for Sol as it is for Ash. He certainly seems to be excited to play it.

There's still a lot more that could be dug into this issue, especially surrounding Matt and Angela, but I'll save it for now.

All in all, it's a really fantastic opener for the story. It hooked me on a first read (Almost six years ago now! Wow!) and it still holds up, especially on a reread.

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

[P2 Laboratory, Mar 28, 2024, 08:57.]

The terms were set. All things said, they were quite simple--a one-on-one battle, until one participant could no longer continue the fight. Were Vanilla to win, he would be returned Maaamaa and his friend Rune's Klinklang (much as Vision preferred to call it "Colress's"). Maybe Vision would even pick a different face to take on when she showed herself next.

And if Vision won...

"Isn't that obvious? I carry out my plans, exactly as we've arranged them."

"We?"

"You know who I speak of. He was brought to me after falling into my universe, with quite severe injuries. I found it fortunate, considering Plasma had been lacking in… scientific achievement, lately. Or achievement, generally. Ever since our world’s Colress… passed."

“And when it comes to why you’re here, to ruin my life…”

“Hmph… don’t be so self-absorbed. You’re just convenient. Colress had mentioned this being an interesting match… so hurry up and let’s begin this, already.”

“Fine… not that I've got much of a choice.”

Losing on his first gambit with Cobalion had put Vanilla in a rough position. Sure, he knew strong moves, but what use is a Fighting-type attack against… then again, if Vanilla couldn’t dodge them, what are the odds Vision could? She drew her blade and slashed, hitting only cold air as her enemy’s form wavered. How…?

“Don’t tell me you’re still so inept this battle is a waste. Surely you’re aware our lineage is Ghost-type?”

Aware they are, but how Vision’s physical body suddenly wasn’t there is beyond Vanilla. He switches tactics, swiping at Vision’s pockets and coming back with… some strange machine? She pockets it swiftly before jumping back.

“Pfffhaha… oh, this will be over in no time. All I need to do is…”

Nasty Plot… Vanilla grimaces. If they connect with a Dark Pulse, I'm... They consider the consequences. Lose here, and who knows what happens to Vanilla. Vision seems eager to replace the hybrid all for one more shot at... what? A world without Pokéballs? Is that all? Sure, the rules said no other Pokémon, but...

Forget the rules. I'm here to win. They pull a bit of illusion trickery to make their arms appear at their side as they reach for Chiru’s Poké Ball. And yet… it’s locked? Shit, that must mean...

Before thinking any further, she drops the illusion, snarling the first thing that comes to mind in Pokéspeech to catch Vision off guard.

"You ruining your own life doesn't mean you get to ruin mine! I'm sorry you were in too deep to escape, but that's not my problem! Leave my friends alone! Leave my family alone! Leave my home alone! And go fix things in your own damn world!"

Vision's ear twitches and their tail visibly poofs as they prepare a Dark Pulse, too focused to bother with illusions. Whatever. I know I'm getting to her. As if to confirm, Vision's Dark Pulse whiffs far to the left, nearly grazing poor Cobalion. Left standing around on a remote island. He retaliates with a booming, screeching sound, and... aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-- oh, right. They've both got sensitive hearing.

As soon as Cobalion lets up on the noise, giving Vanilla an apologetic glance, their chosen closes the gap between themselves and Vision, snarling one more time at close range.

"Stay away from--"

Before being cut off and hit full-force with a Dark Pulse, anyways. The attack burns like fire, spreading rapidly from the point of contact in the center of Vanilla's chest to their arms, legs, and eventually, their mind, which swims with rage. Their own, and evidently, Vision's. The rage overtakes them and their vision, and they collapse to the ground, surrounded by dark energy. Cross, hidden in one of his pockets, cries out in pain as well, as Vanilla's ears struggle to pick up on Vision's last words.

"Just one attack... pathetic. I should've expected as much from a coward, though. Colress, do what you will with them. I'm bored here, and there are much better things to handle while they're out cold..."

Slowly, the hybrid's mind sinks into the darkness.

[durotoswrites]

🎁 - Favorite NPC?

💐 - Most overrated bachelor/ette in your opinion?

☘ - Which game was the most fun in your opinion?

🎁 - Favorite NPC?

I have quite a few! In a previous ask, I had mentioned Pastor Carter. Another favorite of mine is Saibara. I first found myself interested in learning more about him when he was shopping in town and mentioned how hard things were when he first became a widower and had to learn to do everything all on his own. He didn't sound like he was complaining, but I remember the words and expression seeming really sad. He's definitely too rough on Gray in some respects, but he really does mean well. We catch instances of him telling the main character how he wants to make sure he can teach his grandson as much as he can before he leaves this world, and I just get such a lonely vibe from him. Thus, it is my mission to befriend him, hehe. He might seem gruff on the surface, but there are times when he's actually really gentle, and I love that.

💐 - Most overrated bachelor/ette in your opinion?

Uh-oh, time for an unpopular opinion, hehe. I know that my reason for this is based on the times that I used to read fanfiction and also for the way I write this character. I do love writing this character and there are so many interesting facets to write.

Sorry, y'all, but I've gotta go with Popuri on this one (Mineral Town Popuri in particular).

Things have changed in the fandom/fanfiction world for the Bokumono series, and I feel like there is a larger variety out there, but several years ago, I distinctly remember 90% or so fics featuring the bachelorettes to have Popuri. There are so few fanfictions that feature bachelorettes as opposed to bachelors, so it was easy to feel oversaturated by Popuri.

I have learned to appreciate her more over the years, but I feel that her events have some of the weakest writing in the GBA games. I really liked that in Back to Nature, her first event is her running off to cry after leaving the chickens outside and a coyote gets to them. It really showcases that she's still learning about chickens. I guess they replaced it with a runaway chicken in the GBA games so that it wasn't as dark(?) but I think it really lacks that punch that she's a novice and a little immature. Plus we missed out on some great expressions, like the one below!

I feel that the entire Chicken Li'l/Popoultry family could have had some more impactful events. But I guess that's what fanfiction is for - write the stuff you want to see, hehe.

☘ - Which game was the most fun in your opinion?

Oooh, this is a HARD one. My favorite parts of the games are the farming sim aspect, and I love how Back to Nature/Mineral Town have everything accessible with no hand holding. If you wanna save your money to buy a ridiculous golden lumber fence, that's your choice. It's not something you have to wait several seasons to come into stock. The speed of the day feels just right to me. I have to carefully plan what I want to get done. I remember playing Grand Bazaar and adoring the Bazaar portion, but it was the first one I played with the slower timer, one second per minute. I like to milk as much as I can out of each day, so I would just end up jumping in the water over and over in hopes of getting a piece of ore and using up all the stamina that I had left over because the game was too easy in that respect. I think I like the events in Back to Nature/Harvest Moon for Girl more than the handheld Mineral Town games, so my vote's going to go for Back to Nature/Harvest Moon for Girl. If only you could play after marrying as a girl! I'm still frustrated at that. I really would've loved a remake of those games. They could have taken out all of the casual sexism in For Girl and kept all those fun extra festivals, like the Tomato Festival, the Goddess Festival, and special events like Ann's birthday party.

Harvest Moon Ask Game!

[yzeltia]

Wolgraha Week

Day 1: First Kiss Characters: Krile Baldesion, Keith Summers, G'raha Tia, U'rahn Nuhn Rating: Teen Notes: N/A

"Are you going to be a layabout or are you going to help me sort out these tomes!?"

G'raha jumped as Krile woke him with her scolding, nearly toppling his ink well on his desk. Adeptly seizing it, he hastily corked the vile then looked to his dear friend as she gestured to the thicker books too large for her hands.

"Apologies. I find myself needing a bit more rest than I'd like to admit as of late. Though I am feeling more myself…with distance."

"Let's not pretend you have not always enjoyed a little catnap now and then. Though, I am glad you are starting to get over your breakup."

G'raha's ears flipped back, "I have certainly not enjoyed anything of the sort. One accidental snore in a lecture and I hear of it well into my adult years! And…"

The Scion trailed, ears twitching then lowering as he thought of Y'zel. "I'm not sure if you could call it a break up when we were not brought together by choice. The initial attraction was there, I believe that at least was mutual…but everything after finding the first page of that damn book was all magick. It's been more like coming out of one of those realistic dreams where you have to convince yourself it did not actually happen. Maybe if things had been different…but perhaps not…Even enthralled as I was, my feelings for U'rahn and Jannie bled through as they were more real, though remain ever unrequited."

Krile frowned, "Perhaps you should talk to Thancred. He knows well of the hardships of your actions not being your own."

"It was not as if someone else was crawling around in my skin. I cannot open wounds because I lost my senses due to a well intentioned spell. It doesn't -"

G'raha stopped as the doors to their office swung open with a Hyur holding several brown bags came striding in. Krile smiled, turning from the Midlander to her friend. "It seems our lunch has arrived just in time. I'm sure it'll lift your spirits. Oh, have you two met?"

G'raha shook his head while the Hyur beamed at him and set the bags down, his emerald eyes meeting the Miqo'te's ruby ones for a brief moment.

"I can't say I've had the occasion," G'raha answered.

"Well then, this is Keith Summers. He was the one who assisted me in Eureka. Keith, this is G'raha Tia, a long time friend and fellow Scion."

Keith smiled then held out his hand to shake with G'raha's. "I didn't do more than run about collecting readings and repair a few aetherytes. And I guess bested some weapons and a big magic sphere thing."

The Scion shook the other's hand while Krile laughed, "Yes, Keith was indispensable in learning the secrets of Eureka."

Keith chuckled then started to break down the bags of food for the two while they went to work sorting the tomes and getting them away from their eating space. When finished, G'raha found himself in front of his favourite hamburger. Eager, he took a bite before flicking his ears up high.

"This is from The Last Stand? They've really outdone themselves this time."

"Oh no. Keith uses the kitchens here in the Annex. Made to order," Krile sang as she sliced off a piece of her turkey leg to cut into bite size pieces."

"It's true. Speaking of which, I really should go clean up. I'll come back for the dishes later and to help you shelve things," Keith called out as he made his leave.

G'raha swallowed before taking another enthusiastic bite into his burger. Finding Krile staring at him, he flicked his ear. "Is something a matter?"

"What do you think?"

"I've no earthly idea. That is why I'm inquiring."

"I meant of Keith."

"An exquisite chef. I might gain another ilm in my belt if you plan on keeping him around."

"Oh. Darn. I was hoping for a better reaction than that," Krile sighed.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, he's a rising hero and a gormond. And handsome. I figured I'd get a little more out of you than that Raha."

The Miqo'te felt his face twinge red as Krile grinned at him, "Don't tell me you took him on as a means to set us up!"

"You do need to get over the Warriors of Light and that whole business with Y'zel. At the very least he can entertain you. He's quite charming though our Archon 's sister says he's quite dense. What was the word Shtola used…a himbo?"

"Krile!"

"Well! It is true."

G'raha shook his head. "I am in no need of a matchmaker! I…I…"

"At the very least, take him with you on your outing to Mor Dohna. He's good at taking orders and has the Echo. I really do insist."

"Well…at the very least I can get a food meal or two out of him," G'raha sighed.

-One Aglia Later-

"Did you see me!? I traded blows with the Destroyer himself!? No one at home will ever believe me. And I won!"

G'raha laughed, watching the sweat drenched Hyur bounce with each step. Keith had proven to be quite the asset on his delve into the myths of the realm. Smiling, he watched as Keith bounced ahead, exchanging punches with U'rahn ahead of him. As G'raha trailed behind he swallowed a bit, finding himself staring at Keith instead of U'rahn. Though their together time short, he couldn't help but feel a gravitation to him. Keith treated every outing like an adventure and wanted G'raha there to shine with him as equals. Krile, he felt, found him the perfect catch. If only the idiot could see how he felt.

As G'raha sighed, U'rahn tucked back, putting his arm around his shoulder, "Hey Hey. You like that guy don't cha? You're giving him the same googly eyes you give me and Jannie. Want me to say somethin'? I can be your wingman!"

"No need, Rrrahn. It is just a passing crush."

"That's what you said about me and Jannie but you're still totally into me rrright," U'rahn teased.

"Less and less with each passing day," G'raha mumbled before pausing as Keith turned, locked eyes with him, then grinned as he flexed an arm.

The Miqo'te let out a whine, covering his face as he said, "Thal take you Krrriel!"

-A Night Later, Old Sharlayan-

G'raha yawned as he padded out onto his balcony, stretching in his pajamas as he briefly took in the night air. His ears perked as he caught the sound of a light snore. Turning toward the sound, he found Keith in his smalls, dozed off in a garden chair on their connected patio. Blushing, the Miqo'te reached out then gently gave Keith a little shake, finding his body to be warm to the touch.

"Keith. Please rouse. It's far too cold to be sitting out like this."

"Huh? Wha? Raha," Keith asked, eyes lazily opening back up.

G'raha covered the bottom of his mouth as his cheeks burned with embarrassment, watching the Hyur move to stand upright. 

"I do not rrrecall me asking you to remove the tribe honorific from my name," G'raha said under his palm.

"Oh. Sorry. That's how Krile refers to you so I thought it might be okay."

"It is something one does when they are close with one another. Like family or very close friends."

"Ah. Apologies," Keith sighed, rubbing the back of his head. 

"It's fine. I suppose it is not something you'd know unless you were around Seekers frequently. Ah, is there a particular reason you are in your smalls out here?"

Keith looked down, "Oh. I didn't really think anyone could see over here and I sort of forgot our rooms were connected. I run kinda hot so I came out here to cool off before bed. I'll be uh, in lounge pants next time."

"You are fine as you are…In that it does not bother me if you feel comfortable as such. A passing currrioosity and this is mostly a private space.”

Keith chuckled a bit then gave a little nod, his own cheeks turning red

. “If you’re sure. I’ve been told I have no sense of modesty. And, well…I’m not good at this sort of thing but you seem to kind of look at me like you look at one of my hamburgers. I just don't wanna make you needlessly uncomfortable given we’re working so close together. Going on all our little adventures has been really great, even though it’s frequently Krile’s errands. And, well, I enjoy you looking at me…when we’re out doing stuff…And…I’m really not good at this sort of thing, really…And Pops said I that someone could write it on their face and I wouldn’t be able to tell…not my dad, he’s this Garelean guy…What I’m trying to get at is that I think you might…y’know…and if you did then well…I…uh-”

G’raha silenced the babbling Hyur, practically jumping into the other’s arms as he pressed his lips to the other’s His tail flipped high as Keith moved his hands down his back, a hand resting just under his raised appendage. His hands raked through the Ala Mhigan’s brown hair as his tongue clumsily pushed past his lips.

“G’raha…w-wait,” Keith panted after breaking the kiss, bumping their foreheads together.

“No G. It’s okay. No G anymore.”

Keith swallowed then moved the other against the wall, “Raha…I uh…this is the first time for me really. Where I understand…”

“First? Scholar…surely not…”

“Well, when I was little there was a girl that fancied me and she stole a kiss and then punched me when I started to cry. I kinda liked her too but it shocked me. More of a peck really- And well…”

G’raha huffed then kissed the Hyur again to pull his focus back. “It’s okay. I’ll teach you…”

The Miqo’te drew back in, letting Keith close the distance in his own time. It was slow to start, small pecks before G’raha teased the other’s lips open. The Hyur shivered then allowed their muscles to great, shaking as they tangled together. Feeling Keith stir under him, G’raha broke their embrace and opted to hug onto him, kissing on his ear.

“Ah, Raha…I’m…”

“I know. Me too,” G’raha cooed, hugging onto the man tighter so he could feel he’d risen in turn, “While, I do not mind instructing you in the future…Given the newness of all this, perhaps we should go to bed and talk more soberly in the morning?”

“To bed…by morning I think we’d be in the same position. Though I’m used to ignoring it…”

G’raha whined then slipped free of Keith’s arms, ears lowering as he gave the other an amused grin, “I meant to our own rooms. Whatever, private reflecting we might do on our own might best be left to the imagination for now.”

The Miqo’te watched as Keith swallowed, then let his eyes drift downward before letting his eyes quickly flit away as he headed back toward the room. 

“W-wait!”

G’raha’s ears perked as he found the other turning him, his fingers gently brushing under his chin to tilt his attention toward him. Keith kissed him once more, softly, lovingly.

“Goodnight….Raha.”

The Miqo’te flushed then reached out, taking his Hyur’s hand in his own before leading him into his room.

“Raha?!”

“Just to sleep together…Nothing morrre.”

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

All ShadowClan Medicine Cats (in this blog and canon) And Their Quotes

[....] -> indicates unspecified gap

Unbolded = oc.

-----------------------------

FOREST TERRITORY, FIVE CLANS

Pebble Heart

"No cat likes change, but change comes all the same."

[....]

Dapplefire

.

Gorsedaisy

I know what you are, you vile fox! I've known for a long time. The only reason I haven't killed you for the greater good is to ensure my place in Starclan. I'm seriously starting to doubt that choice now. [....] They will see reason. They will know that what I do, I do for them. If they don't, Starclan will. [....] I tried to warn him, you know. So many times, I told him that you would be the death of him and our Clanmates. Part of that may be true now, but rest assured, I will not let you hurt another of my Clanmates again."

.

Hickoryskip

"You're wrong. He's just a kit, but all you can see is a monster. He's not haunting you, no one is haunting you. You're just...you've been through too much, Gorsedaisy. I'm sorry. It's not your fault, but, I'm telling Cuckoostar that you should retire. [....] I hope one day you can find peace of mind. I miss the cat you used to be. [....] I hope you can forgive me one day."

.

Myrtlewing

"Ah, but–if your accusations were true, dear Gorsedaisy–how would attacking me fix anything? You plan to kill me, but can you be sure to make it so far before you are stopped and driven out? And with you in exile, how can you save our precious Clanmates? [....] Will they? The way I see it, you've lost your mind in their eyes ever since you refused me treatment for all my scrapes and bruises as a kit. Heck, maybe even before then, huh? You've jumped to growls and hisses over the smallest of problems, making big deals out of things that weren't there. Yet you think that after all of that, they will believe your side if you try to hurt me? Oh Gorsedaisy, perhaps you really have lost your mind. [....] I think we've established that you can't stop me."

.

Fernpaw

TBA

.

Cedarsky/fern

TBA

.

Redscar

"My name is Redscar. I am the medicine cat who told Flowerstar that StarClan had chosen her as our new leader. But you need to know something: I faked that sign. I picked the snowdrop, severed the blossom, placed the stalk where I could find it in the middle of the camp and announced to everyone that our ancestors had spoken. We needed a leader, and I found them one. Listen to StarClan, but do not let that deafen your own senses. I give you a life for trusting your own instincts as well. StarClan will guide you, but only you, as leader, can steer the paws of your Clanmates."

.

Bluefoot

TBA

.

[....]

Mossheart

"Every battle is a loss."

[....]

Molepelt

"A long time ago, I was the ShadowClan medicine cat [...] My Clanmates and I did a great wrong to another Clan—a Clan that belonged in the forest as much as any of us, but was driven out through our selfishness and hard-heartedness. I knew what we did was wrong, and I have waited, my heart filled with dread, for the Clans to be punished."

Hollowbelly

"There's no reason to punish ShadowClan. What happened was too long ago. The medicine cat code will keep the Clans safe."

"Please say nothing about this. There is no need to spread alarm, not when the future is spread in mist even to StarClan. Promise me that you won't tell any of your Clanmates. Promise on the lives of your ancestors!"

FOREST TERRITORY, FOUR CLANS

(Mp)

(Hb)

[....]

Sloefur

"He's dead."

[....]

Redthistle

"Time to go home. It's so cold, I can't feel my paws."

Sagewhisker

"You could have easily defended yourself from this kind of injury, but you've been badly hurt because you couldn't bring yourself to fight. You know too much pain to inflict it on other cats. And that makes it impossible for you to be a warrior. It's time to face your destiny. You have to be a medicine cat."

"Sagewhisker had a prodigious memory for herbs and a gift for listening to StarClan, but her greatest strength lay in observing the cats around her."

Yellowfang

"Thank you for bringing me to ThunderClan. Tell Bluestar I have always been grateful for the home she gave me. This is a good place to die. I only regret that I will miss watching you become what StarClan has destined you to be."

Runningnose

"In the meantime, I have to stay here. I'm ShadowClan's only medicine cat now...and if there's one thing we need with all this bloodshed, it's a medicine cat. So I'm not going to fight my leader. I'm going to stay here and take care of sick and injured ShadowClan cats. That's what I need to do. That's what Yellowfang would want me to do."

Littlecloud

"We all make mistakes. Some have echoes that last forever."

Flametail

"With this life I give you love. You have known so much, but still have much to give. Leadership without love will never be enough to draw your Clan from the shadows. Let your heart lead when your head does not know the way."

"I'll protect my Clan, whatever it takes."

Puddleshine

"I can't leave. I have sworn to protect my Clanmates."

Shadowsight

"As a medicine cat, I'll never understand a parent's feelings for their kits, but I have many cats that I care for, and worry about, and I'd do anything for them. Rootspring saved my life once, and I feel such a strong sense of duty and loyalty to him because of that. But what I feel even more is a sense that all of this—everything that's happened—is vital for the Clans' survival. All five of them. I could not turn my back, even if I wanted to."

[ceescedasticity]

Unforsaken, 7d

Or possibly 8a? I'm not sure… This isn't a writing speedup, more a 'reached some stuff I've had written for a while'.

(All sections on tumblr)

(AO3, lagging behind but more polished)

Back to Imladris, and back up:

Celegorm heads off to check out the state of things in Gundabad, promising to be back before winter. Whiterot tags along just to get out of Imladris.

Turgon and Sharlinnu stay.

Sharlinnu wants to spend more time with Khitwê and Risyind, and talk more about Pelndoru.

(She also feels like getting used to the weirdness of Imladris might help in getting her nerves up to try the Sea, after the quest.)

(Or she supposes if the quest succeeds it won't be necessary to jump into the Sea?)

Turgon really wants to get to know his great-grandchildren — and his grand-nieflings.

This is awkward for the twins and (via palantír) Arwen, but they make an effort.

It's much less awkward for Khitwê and Risyind, unsurprisingly.

And he can tell them (somewhat sanitized) stories about their parents!

Turgon also wants to get over his own awkwardness with Glorfindel. At least try to.

Some interpersonal tension is going to be unavoidable but this, he can work on.

It helps that they have a ready topic of discussion in all the details Turgon doesn't know about the last 7500 years in Middle-earth and what Glorfindel knows of Aman.

Asking questions about Aman is complicated by orc mental blocks, but Turgon can at least listen.

Speaking of interpersonal tension!

As summer becomes autumn, Maglor has had several months of food, shelter, rest, and motivation, and is looking much less pitiful.

Celeborn's patience is waning. He knows he has to put up with Maglor but he thinks at the very least an apology is called for.

For his part Maglor isn't going out of his way to annoy Celeborn but he isn't making any particular effort to be conciliatory, either.

(Maglor has regrets. He has things he wishes he hadn't done, or had done, and a lot of things he doesn't think he could have done differently but which he still wishes hadn't happened. The Second Kinslaying was an atrocity whether or not they had a choice.)

(He's still not planning to grovel to Celeborn.)

Glorfindel feels like maybe he should do something? But he's not really inclined to get tangled up in Fëanorian or Iathrin pride.

Elladan and Elrohir feel like it's kind of their place to do something, but they aren't sure what.

Celeborn is their grandfather who's been there for them their entire lives.

Maglor… isn't. They don't know Maglor, or didn't before this — they never met him before, and Elrond seldom spoke of him, at least to them. But they know Elrond cared deeply for Maglor, and tried to find him in the little time he had after Sauron's fall. They're about 90% sure Elrond consulted with Mithrandir and Galadriel on taking Maglor West, and would have tried it if he only could have found him. So pretty clearly Elrond would want them to accept Maglor if there wasn't a new reason not to. Besides, they do like who he seems to be now. (Mostly.)

So clearly the desirable thing is peaceful coexistence and cooperation if not forgiveness, but that's hard to achieve when both of them are acting like toddlers about this there's so much pride involved.

Also both of them evidently think Elladan and Elrohir are Sweet Summer Children Too Young and Just Can't Understand, and are clearly only humoring their mediation attempts, which is really fucking annoying becoming tiresome.

As a temporary measure Elrohir takes Celeborn along to the Havens to brief Círdan on… everything.

Círdan has… complicated feelings about what they have to say.

On the one hand, destroying the Crucible and freeing the orcs is something the Wise have wanted to do for millennia. This is a breakthrough.

(Randeth is safe but there is no doubt he knows other people trapped there.)

On the other hand… He really wishes this had happened earlier — sometime when the twins couldn't reasonably claim to be in the top ten best-qualified people to tackle this. But children grow up (like their parents and grandparents did).

On neither of those hands, he knew Turgon well enough to be grieved on hearing he'd been seen as an orc, and is… relieved, probably? that he seems to be doing… well? If that's the right word?

Also on neither hand, he is less sympathetic than Celeborn might have hoped about the whole Maglor thing.

At any rate, he carefully notes everything they've learned just in case it falls to someone else to make use of it, and tells them to be careful, and to ask him if there's anything they need he might be able to provide.

After they've retired (Celeborn considerably later than Elrohir, after a lengthy rant about Fëanorian obstinacy), Círdan goes down to the water's edge.

"You all are planning to help with this, I hope," Círdan says to the Sea and those beyond it.

---

"We are planning to help with this, I hope?"

---

The break, sadly, does not measurably improve Celeborn and Maglor's willingness to get along.

Well, they only have to put up with it until Celeborn (and others to be decided) go south to help, right?

…

Elladan changes the locks on the wine cellar and starts withholding the key whenever he judges "feelings are running high".

(Maglor can pick locks. Slightly more surprisingly, Celeborn can also pick locks. However, neither of them is willing to risk getting caught breaking into Elrond's wine cellar. They'd never live it down.)