#I've never explained 'lores' before I hope I did this right?

[demiesop]

hii, love how you draw and love your tav Sorn, what's his lore? 👀

Hello, thank you so much for your love and interest!!!!! 😘 I'm still figuring out how to put the pieces in place and portray it somewhere somehow, but to put it as shortly as I can: He spent his whole life caged in a dark room in Menzoberranzan and has not experienced many major events prior to BG3.

He was raised and trained as a noble's ideal mindless pet, but then gets kidnapped by the mindflayers and is set free by accident. Having his first ever taste of freedom outside, he starts running around in confusion and making choices all by himself for the first time in his life. He's confused like 99.5% of the time but is attached to all his companions. I'm still new to explaining lores but I hope this answers your question???  ( ´ิ(ꈊ) ´ิ)

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #20

Best of Luck

With a title like "Best of Luck," this sounds exactly like an Anti-Fairy episode. I'm intrigued.

I love how Cosmo and Wanda's house can be wherever it needs to be, including inside Hazel's desk.

I wish we would've had that lore in the OG series, because it makes a lot of sense (and makes the concept of riding around with your godkids and sitting in elementary school all day less boring). I think I'm yoinking this for 'fics.

I like how they still have old-fashioned desks in the future. I've never had these desks.

Peri and Dev are together again... Peri's trying his best <3 I like how Dev is a grump. That feels right.

"Peace is boring and lacking in swag." - Dev Dimmadome, 2024

I love him.

I enjoy how that random horse has been here for tons of episodes. It's just silly.

I really like Winn. They have so many happy things to say about life and their friends:

"Pulling out paper, even though you'd used it to defeat your previous 3 opponents?? /smiles and clutches hands to chest while shaking head. "Inspired."

They deserve to be the cool kid everyone likes and wants to befriend. I support it. I hope they have a really nice life and many joys.

Hey, wait a minute! I WAS right about Winn only having freckles on one cheek. I think it just flips sides when they turn.

Peri in his debut: I'm gonna take you from Dev to Dev-ine!! Dev now, on the heels of a massive meltdown: What happened to you 'taking me from Dev to Dev-ine?' I don't FEEL very Dev-ine >:( Peri: :')

I enjoy the detail of Dev pushing his shades back on his nose after throwing his head back and then snapping it forward. They didn't even fall down or reveal his eyes, but it was the correct move for him to do.

I like how every time Dev moves his head, his shades catch the ceiling lights.

Ohhh, when snooty Peri comes out, you've gone too far!

... I was wrong!! Dev just raised his voice and Peri crumpled. I love him.

That music sting, tho...

For some reason, that last one gives me bigger "Oh, that's totally Poof" energy than any other screenshot I've taken? idk why; I don't remember Poof getting angry often.

Hang on- I watch Season 9 a lot. Let me check my usual highlights...

... ah. I don't like what this says about me.

-> omg, his staff is based on his rattle! I didn't even notice that until now!! That's so clever!

There's something really funny about posting this picture right before jumping back into my liveblog.

Anyway, Peri is trying SO hard to explain the rules... He looked like he was about to cry and then he snapped; let's see where this is going.

OHHHH, he's quitting! I knew it~! He can't handle the pressure. He's too baby!!

I cannot believe this man lasted 4.5 months on the job. Every time he showed up, he was upset.

Peri: You know what, Dev? I'm DONE. Dev: Well, I'm done-ER! Peri: I'm the done-EST! Dev: Stick a fork in BOTH OF US, THEN!!!

Neither of them is okay.

And he's got tears down his cheeks... Freakin' GEEZ, Dev! You snapped him like a twig.

I'm glad he's having a hard time adjusting to being a nice person. lol. It really underscores why he's so mean at the start of the series.

The fact that he had no issue taking off his shades after befriending Hazel in "A New Dev-elopment" (even willing to go to school with them off and talk nicely to his teacher that Monday, regardless of the fact that this was his first time in the series doing that and people might've talked about it) gives me the inkling that he probably HAS tried being nice in the past, and he doesn't MIND being nice... until he's hurting, and then his self-defense mechanism is to shut down and wall everyone out.

He WANTS to be "a happy kid." He just keeps getting bit every time he places his trust in someone. Including Hazel (in his POV) since he couldn't move past his "Wait a minute... Did you WISH for us to be friends??" meltdown in spite of the good times that came from that wish.

He tried so hard to see the good in his dad in "Lost and Founder's Day." Even when his dad snapped at him for asking if he could help and told him to go "Eat a lizard."

Even when his dad blatantly used electricity to shock people's brains and Dev very clearly had issues with it. He tried SO HARD to turn it around to "Oh, so you can help kids!!"

He even tried to see the good in Vicky [before she entered the house] when Hazel tried cheering him up with the thought of, "Well yeah, maybe you didn't want a princess cosplayer at your birthday, but she might be a really COOL party princess!"

He just keeps trying and has such high hopes and patience despite getting nipped every time he speaks up and reaches out. That's why he stayed un-miserable for so long before tipping over and getting Peri assigned to him. Tell him how high to jump and he'll do his best without even asking "How high?"

So he took that leap with Hazel. And the floor went out from under him.

I read once that if your natural response is to close off when you're struggling and/or just handle everything yourself even if it's a lot, it indicates your past experiences of reaching out yielded no help, so it's hard to see the point in asking others for help in the future.

I don't have the place I read this on hand and I didn't dive for the sources back then, so take it with a grain of salt, but it's all I've been thinking about while watching Dev in this show.

btw, I had to rewatch part of "Lost and Founder's Day" to grab that screenshot, and it's hilarious to me that even when he's talking to his own son, Dale still introduces himself as "Dale Dimmadome, owner of Dimmadome Global." He's just like his dad.

Okay... Blue smoke? Anti-Fairy time??

OHHHH, it's the man of the hour!! Welcome back, loser!

I love the little shift of him flexing his wing. I like how similar the wing is to the old show (Black with blue markings).

Eric Bauza, is that you?? Score!

Okay, I looked it up to see if that was true and first of all, yes it is, and second, he's also credited as Peri's VA, so I love that! I hadn't bothered to check who Peri's VA was, but that literally makes so much sense; their parents have always shared, so of COURSE they'd share too. That's so smart...

Hm... Can't say I'm the biggest fan of Foop's name changing to Irep and I'm not sure I like his design, but maybe it'll grow on me.

That said, the name change is a really clever way to get Irep to explain the lore of how he's the opposite of Peri without being info-dumpy.

I'm glad he kept his facial hair. And he's got big boy fangs! I miss his F-shaped hair curls, though, or maybe I need a better angle.

Hey, he has a dark jacket like the lab coat I gave him in my high school design. I wasn't far off!

No freckles, but in OG canon, they only really showed up when he flushed, so no surprise. I don't expect to see them, but it would be funny if he did flush and they were still there.

Also, I really like the ultraviolet glow of his crown. That makes so much sense.

Insert joke about how Anti-Fairies used to be invisible to the naked eye until Season 5

... He is actually REALLY cute. He looks a lot like his old self.

Are other Anti-Fairies also going to have square heads? I don't mind Foop having a square one if all his species does, but I'll be a bit surprised if he's the only creature with a cube head.

I think it's funny that they took away Peri's eyelashes when he grew up, but left Irep with one. That feels incredibly right.

I love his unique scruffy eyebrows. That's cute.

Irep, who previously had such a traumatizing experience as a godparent that he spent that episode screaming and crying, his magic souring in a range of colors all the way down to green in one of the only appearances of green magic in the series, and literally almost gave up on life before he gained the courage to lash out at Vicky despite knowing full-well his magic would immediately backlash and torture him for it: "I am once again ready to take responsibility for a mean human."

This only exacerbates my analysis of Peri not being ready for godkids and that's flippin' hilarious.

The nerd finally put on shoes!!

Dev wished for it to be tomorrow, so now it's tomorrow (waning crescent, of course).

No Dev-Irep sleepover? Robbed >:(

??? Obsessed with Hazel walking into school chatting about what she spent her night doing. I love how this means Irep just... yoinked Dev forward in time.

/horse in the hospital voice: I didn't know he could do that.

This episode's set-up & plot is just great in general.

Everyone else has gone to bed and Dev's had no sleep or breakfast. He needs a snack.

Ooh, wait- what? Mace wand!! ... I don't think I'll keep that in my canon, but that's a clever way to parallel Poof's staff. It's funny to me that the posh British boy did not get a staff. He WOULD like bashing people with the mace, huh?

It delights me to see Irep left-handed. He's been a leftie since the day he was born, all through to Season 10 :')

I like how Irep started crying when Dev told him he was "better than Peri." I mean... He's not wrong- that IS literally all Foop-Irep has wanted to hear since the minute he was born.

He is literally the same person he's always been. lol.

"Best of Luck" & "Two and a Half Babies"

I wonder if he's still claustrophobic, because that was, like... his big thing after escaping Abracatraz. I doubt it will come up (and he's much older now), but since he's an antagonist, I assume he has a weakness, and that would be an interesting one to bring back.

-> Actually if I'm remembering right, it was his alternate personality's phobia (Foop vehemently denying it while his alter literally screamed at the top of his lungs and doubled down), which is definitely implyin' somethin' about which of them remembers Abracatraz better. Hmm...

FINALLY! I don't think we ever got to see umbrellas open indoors as a form of bad luck in the OG series. It's one of those tiny questions always floating in the back of my mind, sdklfj.

I like how Dev still went to class. He has rule-breaking magic at his fingertips and this is where he's spending his time.

I guess it's not like he can leave the school; his whole goal is to get in that schoolwide Rock, Paper, Scissors competition.

I like Hazel eating from her popcorn bucket of 4-leaf clovers.

is Irep going to try to poke her and then, like... break out in hives or something? lol.

[menlove]

hey there! i’ve very recently gotten into the beatles and have been exploring their history/lore in my spare time and accidentally spiraled down the mclennon rabbit hole. reading your posts has really got me interested but i’ll admit i’m a bit conflicted, so i hope you don’t mind me asking a genuine question; how do you reconcile john’s horrible behavior to cynthia/others while also shipping mclennon? (this is genuinely not from a place of malice, i’m already attached to mclennon myself but knowing john’s past has put me in a weird headspace about the whole thing and i don’t know what to do).

oh I get that. I've definitely been in a weird headspace about the whole thing before too. recently and then it's also part of why I deeply pretended I didn't still like the beatles after my first obsession as a kid

for me personally, I think there's several ways I come at it? (and disclaimer: this is as a fan who's already decided to interact w him/his work in a fannish way. I'm NOT saying any of this is necessary or that people who can't stand him are obligated to do these things. and that's not @ u anon, I've just gotten some odd responses any time I talk about this)

first one is just that he's already dead. not just dead, but brutally murdered. he was murdered when he was 40 and so the question is like.... what Else can really be done ykwim? like there's this sense in social justice circles that people must be made to Suffer for their actions and I'd say getting murdered is right up there

I'd also say another Big One for me is that it's not my place to forgive him or not forgive him or whatever. I never knew the man, his actions didn't impact me personally. but those that they Did impact (cynthia, yoko, may, paul to an extent, etc) still deeply love the man and Have forgiven him. which obviously isn't to say that means anyone else has to, but just that like. at the end of the day, if the people he hurt have moved on & view him in an overall positive light, I don't feel like. as bad about it?

I'm trying to explain this in a way that doesn't sound like I'm excusing anything, bc I'm really not. just that To Me the most important goals of holding famous abusive people accountable is a) justice for those they've harmed and b) letting their wallets feel the consequences of their actions by not giving money to their shit. both of these points are... pretty much null with john. he's dead, in one of the worst ways possible, and the people that he hurt aren't calling for any sort of action against him bc they've already forgiven him.

ultimately I think just like....... as long as you tread a lil carefully and keep it in mind it's... the damage was already done, the people he hurt have already moved on, and the man's already dead. writing about him fucking paul mccartney isn't going to Worsen anything. as long as we aren't like. denying that he was abusive Or trying to deify him.

and like I said, this is literally only about ppl who have Already chosen to still interact w him in any fannish way like you and I. I'm in no way demanding anyone else view it like this if they don't like him or the beatles bc of his actions

[rise-my-angel]

hi! i wanted to get your opinion because i admire the way you write these characters and you're so knowledgeable of the lore.

do you think robert actually loved lyanna or do you think she was just something he felt he was owed? like a prize that was taken away from him by someone else rather than her being her own person.

keep in mind i've only ever seen the show but his behaviour always struck me as obsessive rather than a man truly mourning "the love of his life."

i also don't see lyanna liking robert as 1) he was much older than her right? and 2) arya was a lot like her right? so she was a free spirit and wanted to learn and fight and not be a lady and robert doesn't strike me as someone ok with that in a wife. 3) robert's always been a whore so even if he did "love" lyanna he wouldn't be faithful regardless.

i know ned loved robert but he too saw the type of person robert was (and became after the war) and i don't see ned being truly comfortable with him being with his sister.

anyway i just have a lot of feelings about lyanna even tho i don't know much about her (i've just started the first book!) and i feel for her because girls are never allowed to just be girls. men always ruin everything with their wars and their egos and it's always the women who suffer, especially in game of thrones.

i think often of what it would be like if she lived and how horrid her future would be because of men in her life especially if she still gave birth to jon. she didn't deserve to die but maybe death was a kinder fate.

So interestingly enough, Robert in the show actually provides a lot more interesting perspective on this. Robert in the books is a lot more blatantly dislikable and unsympathetic, but the show provides us a new version of Robert that is actually as tragic as he is pathetic.

The simple fact of the matter is Robert didn't really know her. Robert liked the idea of Lyanna, but because she was gone so early before he could know her, he doesn't actually have a memory of her that is solid and concrete. He only has the memory of the idea of her, and he can only mourn that. So as the years go on, by the time we meet him, he has really nothing left but those scraps of a girl he hardly knew.

It's more explained in the books, but Lyanna did not like Robert. She didn't like he got around so much he had bastards yet was betrothed to her, she didn't like the fact that she knew he would be unfaithful, and clearly did not wish to marry him. Now Ned did try and tell her otherwise because partially yes Robert is his friend, but also because Ned knows he has no control over that marriage and would rather try to make his sister feel better and say maybe it will get better then just tell her what a miserable life shes in store for. Ned wanted to give her hope rather then give her literally nothing.

But Robert in the show is much more interesting, because he in the show, knows exactly what he's turned into. Robert in the show is smart, we see in the way he senses war coming, the way he understands what would happen should the Dothraki invade and in reterospective he was right about getting rid of the Targaryean threat early on before they slaughtered the people of Westeros. We struggle to see he's right though because both what we know about Jon and how that influences Neds responce to all this, and also his passion for his own hatred is off putting, but he's right, he's smart and he knows he is washed up from his own hand.

But Robert too, knows hes pathetic. He knows he has given himself no life to value now, so all he has is the past to cling onto. It's why he cannot give up Lyannas memory. She died before he had the chance to know her as a person and thus his memory of her loss is shrouded in the falsehoods he painted about her.

There's this scene he has with Cersei discussing her, and it's why I think Robert both does and doesn't love Lyanna, it's also one of the most emotionally honest scenes in season 1 from Robert of all people:

"You want to know the horrible truth? I can't even remember what she looked like. All I know is she was the one thing I ever wanted. Someone took her away from me, and Seven Kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind."

Robert is trapped at Lyannas loss. He has never moved on, and he still mourns her as if right in that fresh memory. But he also knows he has so little of Lyanna that he barley has her image in his head, all he has is the memory of loss. It's pathetic and he knows he's pathetic because he laments with shame to Cersei just after this that he never could've loved her in Lyannas place.

He loves the memory of Lyanna rather then her, but Robert in the show is more sympathetic about it. Him saying Seven Kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind is such a good line. He's saying being King did not fufill that loss and thus nothing at this point ever will. He's admitting being King was not a solution to trauma but he knows no other way anymore.

Now would she have been happy with Robert? No. I don't think Lyanna wanted to marry at all, or at least at that age she held no interest in marriage. She was wild and fun and passionate about her people, her brothers, her friends. She wanted to be a girl who still had time to live her passions and maybe pursue something more to her duties as a highborn girl later in life.

Now, some people think Ned would never have stepped in on Lyannas behalf with Robert, but no. Ned hid Lyannas son from Robert, which considering who the father was, that act by Ned could've been considered treason for Jons whole life. Ned does not value Roberts friendship or his loyalty to Robert over Lyanna. And some people equating how Ned handles Cersei to how he'd handle Lyanna is wrong.

Ned KNOWS Cersei is the enemy. Ned KNOWS Cersei would rather see him dead then what she's built up dismantled. Ned feels for her abuse at Roberts hands but will not step in because Cersei has given him no reason to be loyal to her more then his oldest friend.

But Ned cared more about Lyanna then Cersei and more about Lyanna then Robert.

Some people think Ned wouldn't have intervened if Lyanna suffered with Robert but thats not true. Ned hid the biggest secret Robert would've killed for, from him even beyond Roberts death. If Ned wouldn't have stepped in for Lyanna against Robert, he wouldn't have taken Lyannas son in as his own and hidden him from Robert his whole life.

Ned also DOES push back against him. Talks him out of stupid ideas, tells him off, quits being Hand of the King (which too is actually about Neds own fear about Robert learning the truth of Lyanna and Jon, its actually not about Dany at all). Ned clearly does not put Robert ahead of his family until he is given no choice but to stay and serve him. Robert all but orders him to stay in Kings Landing, which even then, Neds plan is to still send his children home even when he couldn't go with them.

I can't say for sure if Robert would've treated Lyanna the way he did Cersei, but I don't think it would be like that. He'd still be unfaithful and hostile, but he hates Cersei partially because he was forced to marry a woman soon after losing Lyanna. He resents Cersei for not being her.

If he married Lyanna I don't think he'd mistreat her the way he blatantly does Cersei but no, it wouldn't have been a happy marriage. But I don't think the degree of abuse and marital rape would have occurred the way people think it would've.

Robert and Ned both do not value Cersei's life the way they both valued Lyannas, and thus the way she'd be treated or protected would be vastly different then how both of them separately handled Cersei.

Robert in the show is more tragic then he is hateable. He didn't know Lyanna and cannot move past the trauma of how she left this world. But in the show, he knows that and he knows he's pathetic for it. Now, what would've happened if Lyanna still gave birth to Jon but lived?

Thats a harder thing to hide. I think Ned still would've done the same thing, still lie and claim Jon as his own son, but would've done everything he could to ensure Lyanna does not marry Robert so she could stay in Winterfell with her son.

The question comes down to, would Robert treat Lyanna and Jon the way he tried to do with Dany when learning she was pregnant. And I don't think I can say conclusively one way or another. Clearly Ned is terrified that the answer is yes, and thats why he quits and desperatly tries to leave the captiol with his daughters. He's terrified of this reaction not for Danys sake but because hes realizing that Roberts love for Lyanna STILL would not protect Jon. He tries to leave the captiol because hes terrified that his best friend would murder Jon if he learned the truth even now, and is living in a trauma asking himself if he'd have killed Lyanna too.

But how Robert would handle Lyanna if she lived, objectively, I do not know.

Robert would try to kill Jon, but would he really harm Lyanna? It's impossible to say. But Lyanna should've lived no matter what. Rhaegar kidnapping her and she survived childbirth, or if that scenario never happened, I fully believe Ned and his brothers would've stepped in if Lyanna was mistreated by Robert. Brandon literally rode to Kings Landing to confront Rhaegar to resuce his sister, had he lived, at the least, Brandon absolutely would've stepped in on Lyannas behalf since he has no emotional attachment to Robert. And I fail to see why Ned would put his friend over the sister he literally risked everything for.

The Starks protect each other. If Ned wasn't willing to side against Robert on his sisters behalf, he never would've hidden Jon from Robert in the first place. He protected Jon because it was his final way of protecting Lyanna.

In the books, I think theres more of an argument to say Robert would've mistreated her, but in the show? I cannot say yes or no, Robert Baratheon in the show is a completely different version of this character.

And I think show Robert is a lot more sympathetic then haters of book Robert will give him credit for. Which I can say, because I, a fan of show Robert actually fucking hate Robert in the books. Get away from Cersei you abuser, I know she's crazy and evil but hiss hiss bite bite.

But really that one line I quoted earlier tells me that he has always had a soft spot for Lyanna, and he knows that being King didn't actually help him move on. In his own way he loves Lyanna, but the way he loves her is just different then the people who are Lyannas actual blood. The same is true for Robert, Ned, and even without realizing so directly, Jon too.

Seven Kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind.

[andrewwtca]

a Soriku Endgame, Actually essay on Light and Darkness

Also available to read on Archive of our Own.

Kingdom Hearts, with Sora and Riku in particular, has been on my mind as of late. It’s always been on my mind, to be honest, ever since I first got into the series. It’s grabbed my hand and hasn’t let go, especially with all the new lore. And yet, I’ve been struggling to make peace with myself. 

On one hand, I don't want to get my hopes up, thinking that Sora and Riku would ever become something 'more' or that what I’m seeing is anything other than in-depth speculation. I've had my heart broken before and this series means too much to me for me to foolishly dive in like this. 

On the other hand, I can't ignore what the story is telling me, as a literary analysis enthusiast and as a diehard fan. There have been parallels established, setups finally going through, and Nomura has said before that “this series is not intended to be child-focused, and so the complexity of the story is purposely made prominent.” I can’t keep turning a blind eye, knowing everything I know, thinking everything I think. If I did, I feel like I would be doing a disservice to both my experiences with the series and my experiences as a person. 

So yeah—Soriku Endgame, Actually. Today, I’m arguing its canonicality because of the balance of Light and Darkness (or lack thereof) throughout the series. Please enjoy my messy and impassioned essay!

a sky of falling stars

The Children of Destiny is a new concept introduced to us in the finale of Dark Road. To summarize, they are people with the ability to feel what others feel, connect, and become one with them—empaths with Light. 

It appears that the Children of Destiny are all descendants of Ephemer, characterized by silvery hair. There's Ephemer, there's Baldr, there's Xehanort—and, oh yeah, there's Riku. 

Upon the release of the finale, a lot of people—myself included—quickly jumped to the conclusion that Sora is a Child of Destiny, which isn't all that wrong. If we're going by what the games have given us, Sora is very special. What other character has housed five different hearts inside his own? What other character had an entire arc in Birth by Sleep talking about how he felt the pain in someone else’s heart?

But Nomura has insisted since the beginning that Sora is an ordinary boy, that he wasn't born with anything special, explaining that he “had the premise that a heart like Sora’s exists within all the players. Sora is ‘ordinary’, therefore everyone is ‘ordinary.” (Before anyone argues Nomura is just going through a retcon, I doubt he would go through with one to this extent, given how he has had the ending to the Dark Seeker Saga in mind for years.)

Riku, on the other hand, has not been given this kind of treatment at all. He's always been painted as a golden child, better than Sora at everything, being the original bearer of the Keyblade. For crying out loud, he had a light in Birth By Sleep that was seen from space, not Sora. If you factor in bloodlines, it wouldn't be too far off to theorize that Riku is a descendent of Ephemer's line. Riku isn't who most look at first, but all signs lead to him being a Child of Destiny. 

But that doesn't explain Sora at all. He may not have been born special like Riku, but he's special somehow. After all, Nomura did finish his ‘Sora isn't special’ line with, “I figure even if you’re ‘ordinary’, for something important, everyone can exhibit a special power just like Sora.” Aqua even calls out that Sora is the one who can set things right, the boy who can touch others’ hearts. 

And that is where the necklace theory comes in.

Sora has always been associated with royalty, sitting on a throne in box art or having crowns plastered around him—or on him. From his debut, Sora has had a crown necklace that has never been explained. Despite wearing it in every outfit, it's never been addressed how it came to be.

It’s after Aqua and Terra came, judging by the BBS cutscenes of him and Riku. But it’s before KH1, as that's when his journey began. That’s a huge timeframe, from being a kid to deciding to leave the islands, but it's easy to pinpoint a time when considering something the games still never fully fleshed out: the meteor shower. 

In Chain of Memories, Sora and Riku fight over this memory they supposedly both had of Namine one night during a meteor shower. One of them promised they would keep her safe, and it's all cute until we remember that Namine wasn't actually in these memories. And Namine can't make any new memories—she can only rearrange old ones. 

Sora and Riku both share this memory. And the way they fought over this memory gave it the utmost importance. It becomes obvious at this point that the both of them witnessed a meteor shower, and given what we know about their dynamic (and that's a lot), it would make sense to assume it was Riku promising Sora to keep him safe—almost like a charm.

The necklace theory has been around for years, but it’s only after the Dark Road finale that it was expanded upon (or perhaps it’s just me and maybe three others who think this, but I don’t mind one bit.) It isn't just Riku promising to keep Sora safe. In giving Sora a necklace, a crown, Riku has metaphorically crowned Sora. He has brought Sora up to his status as a Child of Destiny, putting all his love into a charm that he hopes can keep Sora safe. 

There’s a flaw in my logic though, trust me, I know. I just said that this meteor shower didn’t happen until after BBS, and yet it’s during the game that Sora feels the pain of others, it’s during the game that Aqua says that Sora is going to be the one to set things right. But I still stand firm in my belief. Riku has always been painted as the golden child, the Child of Destiny, but his love for Sora runs deeper than his love for anything else. 

Riku’s light is the one that brought Terra and Aqua to Destiny Island but Riku’s light shines for Sora; sort of like step one to Sora’s crowning. Riku’s light rubbed off on Sora, ever since they were kids—after all, a Child of Destiny’s power is to connect hearts. Why not connect his own with another? Why not share his light?

Further, in BBS, Sora can feel Ven’s pain and take care of his heart, but he isn’t fully aware of this nor is he able to really do anything about this. It isn’t until KH1 that Sora ever exhibits a power of truly connecting to another’s heart when Sora entered the darkness swallowing Riku and touched Riku’s heart’s light to obtain his Keyblade, explained by Nomura himself. And it isn’t until KH3 that Sora finds the power to wake up Ven’s heart.

Regardless of whether or not I’m right about this, it means Nomura isn't technically wrong about Sora being normal. Sora, no matter what, doesn’t have some divine birthright, but he still has the makings of someone who can bring peace to the world—all thanks to Riku.

This helps set the tone of their relationship, of the depth of Sora and Riku’s bond. It also moves the storyline forward to how they will be the ones to instigate change—but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s first talk about who once were and who they could’ve been.

in another life

Kingdom Hearts is pretty on the nose on parallels between Xehanort/Eraqus and Riku/Sora. Besides personality, Xehanort and Riku are both Childs of Destiny who give in to the darkness and Eraqus and Sora are endless sources of light. But the parallels don't exist to make us empathize with Xehanort/Eraqus: they're to tell us a cautionary tale of what our protagonists could've been. 

So it begs the question, what actually separated Sora and Riku from becoming like Eraqus and Xehanort? Let’s start with Riku.

To recap, Xehanort was a student in Scala ad Caelum alongside Eraqus, who watched all his classmates die. He learned from Baldr about their roles as Children of Destiny and in his grief, became obsessed with wiping the world clean. He wanted a Keyblade War to create a fresh start, void of Light and Darkness, so that the world could try again. 

Riku seemed to have been walking the same road as Xehanort. He stopped fearing Darkness and started dancing on the line between it and Light. Riku was angry at the world and angry at his friends, and perhaps in another life, he may too have wanted to wipe the world clean. 

But every time I compare him and Xehanort, I can't help but think that a cautionary tale isn't what Xehanort/Eraqus is. Because I can't help but think that it just could never have happened to Riku, and it's for two main reasons: 

1) Hope.

Riku has hope in the world. When we look at all the other Children of Light, they all had a Darkness that took them down (although in Ephemer's case, it was a literal Darkness that killed him). Baldr lost himself in grief. Xehanort lost himself in rage. But not Riku. 

When Xehanort saw that the world couldn't be fixed (to how he believed it should be), Riku did not even see a world that needed fixing. Riku saw the world in all of its complicated glory. For instance, Riku is one of the first characters to acknowledge the feelings of Nobodies; their pain, and their love. He doesn't see them as an extension of Darkness or Light. They simply are. 

Riku believes in redemption. It's been his entire character arc, after all, to redeem himself and walk the Road to Dawn, a term coined way back in CoM. Ever since then, Riku has been closely associated with the sunrise—night turning into day. Darkness becomes Light. Redemption. This symbolism is shown in box art, said in interviews, even his Keyblade is called the Way to Dawn. 

The fact that Riku was even able to think of the Road to Dawn proves that he's nothing like Xehanort. Xehanort believes that there is no redemption because the world needs to be wiped clean. But Riku believes that there is a road he can walk, a road he can take to salvation because the world is not good or bad, but made for people to live and learn. But how? How was he able to walk that road? He has hope, but how was he able to use it? And that's the second reason. 

2) Sora. Riku has Sora. 

It may feel a bit obvious to say, but it's true: the fact that Riku is Riku; Sora is Sora; and their relationship is the way it is, is the key to why they would never have fallen to the same fate. We don't know the full extent of Xehanort and Eraqus's relationship, but it's safe to assume it wasn't as kind or loving as Riku and Sora's ever were. The two would play as kids, promise to keep each other safe, tell secrets—the two became princes of destiny together, destined to fight their way home.

I can't see Xehanort and Eraqus as anything more than students in a fucked up situation. Because when things got bad for Xehanort, he didn't think of Eraqus as his guiding light. He only thought of what he lost. There’s even a line in Dark Road of Xehanort hearing Eraqus crying in the other room, yet he never comforts him, never approaches him. They suffered alone, too afraid or perhaps too blind to reach for one another.

When things got bad for Riku, he saw Sora. He saw how Sora loved Kairi and sacrificed himself for her, and he saw that Sora was forgiving towards him. The reason why Riku and Sora didn't end up like Xehanort and Eraqus is that they simply aren't them. Their bond is deeper and their love is stronger, and Riku’s hope is simply stronger than Xehanort’s ever was.

It’s important to emphasize that this truly is a feat that only Riku (and Sora, one day) could’ve accomplished. It's natural to us that Riku, one of the series' protagonists, was able to do this. It's easy to shrug off the balance he managed to strike between his Light and Darkness, but for so many actually in the series, it's an incomprehensible thought. Mickey even stated in CoM, that Riku introduced Light and Darkness in a way nobody has ever seen before. To understand how this affects Sora and Riku’s relationship, it’s important to understand the way things currently are.

the light we pass down

Light and Darkness are the very core of this series. Light represents the connections you make with others, while Darkness represents the lack thereof—those with Darkness in their hearts are those who walk alone, while those with Light are those with many friends around them. Darkness is selfishness, and Light is selflessness. 

Darkness is usually framed as an inherently evil source in many stories, but it's something that cannot be extinguished. Light needs to be there to balance it. 

But Kingdom Hearts seems to be going down the path less taken—yes, Darkness isn't 'good', and it isn't desirable to isolate yourself from the rest of the world. But the series is asking the question many like to ignore: when does Light become Darkness? 

In nearly every game, you can trace one character fed into the illusion that Light is good, everything else is bad, and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. MoM to his pupils in Union X; Odin to Baldr in Dark Road; Eraqus to his children in BBS; Yen Sid to Mickey in forbidding him to speak of Aqua; Donald and Goofy to Sora in telling him that their ship runs on happy smiles. It is generational trauma. 

A cycle of hypocrisy has been forced on not only the 'defenders of Light' but 'agents of Darkness.' Xehanort doesn't care who he hurts as long as he can get his own idea of balance in the world, believing his judgment to be supreme to others—despite his initial thoughts in Dark Road, that unless someone's heart is pure Light, how can one know for sure what is right and wrong? To which Eraqus responded that they as Keyblade Wielders held the supreme judgment towards morality. 

Again and again, this cycle of defending what they believe is good and Light repeats, hurting themselves and hurting others, and even Sora is not free of this hypocrisy. While he doesn't go out of his way to hurt others the way Xehanort has, he is capable of hurting others: Riku was hurt by Sora in KH1 when he was silent when Kairi suggested leaving him behind or when he shrugged off Riku going missing in Traverse Town. In CoM, when the idea of him ‘abandoning’ people was presented, he acted out harshly and completely rejected the idea (this is all another parallel to Eraqus!)

He even denies the idea that Riku has hurt others. Despite Riku acting out of his own free will, the reason he feels the need to atone and walk the path to redemption, Sora believes that the Darkness was forced on Riku by others.

Sora has been carved into the same mindset as so many others, the idea heavily tackled in Dark Road, that Darkness is only brought upon by others, and that it needs to be expunged. Sora is a firm believer that the Darkness is something to be eradicated, such as with his encounter with Vanitas in KH3. When Vanitas states that he is simply Darkness, Ven is quick to understand and even accept. Sora, on the other hand, rejects this and insists that it isn’t okay. 

Even our series’ protagonist is unable to shake himself from this self-righteous, black-or-white thinking. Riku is the only character in the series who has formed an actual balance in himself, with all other characters having to pick one side. Lea, Xion, and Roxas leave the Darkness of Organization XIII and become Keyblade Wielders. Terra embraces his Light, Aqua leaves the Realm of Darkness, and Ven is literally separated into a being of Light and Darkness (although not out of his own volition).

The series is not framing any of these things as negative—there’s nothing wrong with embracing Light. However, these characters are falling into the same cycle that the generations before have; they will once again be faced with a Darkness too deep to defeat and ignore. It must be talked to, reckoned with, and faced with open arms. Riku has been the only one able to return the hug and walk away.

We’ve explored what makes Riku’s character arc so significant and what Sora’s flaws are, and it’s time to dive into the murky waters of the future.

when does the sun become the night?

Sora. Oh, Sora. I love you, Sora. Now let me tear you and your smile apart. 

The parallels between Xehanort and Riku are very on the nose and easy to distinguish; meanwhile, Eraqus and Sora are a bit more challenging. 

In BBS, Eraqus is the Master of Aqua, Terra, and Ventus. He forms a bond between them, as one would expect, mentoring and looking out for their well-being. The Light in his heart is strong due to his connections with them, alongside being a Keyblade wielder. Although not perfect (feeding into Terra's insecurities about his Darkness, cough), he does care for them. But when the world falls to Darkness, Eraqus doesn't hesitate to be selfless, to give up his connections, the Light in his heart, to kill them to save a greater good. As long as someone somewhere can benefit from his actions, he isn't harming.

But is that selfless? Is sacrificing for a 'greater good' truly selfless? Is there a line between the needs of the many and the needs of the few? Or is there a certain ‘darkness’ that comes with these acts? Disregarding yourself, disregarding others, selfless yet selfish; it's not the right thing to do, and the series doesn't hesitate to frame it as that. What Eraqus did was wrong. He hurt others, even if he refused to acknowledge it.

And yet, no one seems to make any noise toward Sora. 

Sora is a Guardian of Light. He is the cheerful protagonist who makes everyone smile and feel better. Ever since the first game, when Donald and Goofy (although not with ill intent) told him that the Gummi Ship runs on happy faces, he's been under the precedent that his emotions do not matter in the greater scheme of things. In the long run, what matters is that others are safe, the people he cares about. 

Once again, like how Xehanort and Riku deviated in terms of having hope, this is where Eraqus and Sora begin to deviate from their parallels. While both are selfless to the point of ‘darkness,’ they show it in dramatically different ways. Eraqus is willing to hurt the people he cares about (and by extension, himself) to serve this 'greater good', but Sora is only willing to actively hurt himself. 

I feel the need to remind everyone that this is a teenager we're talking about. If we weren't in a franchise partially owned by Disney, I feel like more people would be willing to call this what it is: suicidal. This is not Light.

We've already seen ways that this harms Sora outside the narrative and the whole getting sent to Quadratum thing in his Rage form. Sora transforms into a drive form that’s oddly reminiscent of his time as a Heartless and can unleash powerful attacks that lower his HP (hmm). Furthermore, this form only appears when his HP is low (double hmm) and stated by Nomura, “based on him going into a rampage state, controlled by feelings of anger (triple hmm).”

Back inside the narrative, the climax of KH3 was Sora believing that he's worthless without his friends, genuinely worthless, and unable to fight at all. This is the very definition of a Light gone too far when remembering that Light is the connections you form with others. With too much Light, Sora lost himself. He couldn't find himself past who he was for others.

In the section prior that broke down generational trauma as it appears in Kingdom Hearts, I mentioned that Sora does not only end up hurting himself but passively hurting others around him, most notably Riku. Sora is unable to understand that Darkness is not the absence of all good but rather the shadow that simply follows you around. Sora cannot understand that Darkness is not something to be shunned, to never talk about. (This could also be tied back to his Rage form—while he does not actively channel his anger to hurt, that is what happens; only to never be acknowledged by him.)

(Off-topic, but I find it funny that Sora, who is so keen on the idea that Darkness is Not Good, was only ever to have a proper conversation with Riku in the Realm of Darkness. It’s very telling to their characters.)

Kingdom Hearts is setting up a narrative that Light and Darkness cannot exist in excess. That Light doesn't exist to balance out the Darkness, to stop it from becoming too strong—you need Darkness to exist as well. 

Sora has gotten this far along the story and still hasn't managed to learn this, because it’s just not something you can learn (or unlearn, rather) on your own. Because this kind of thinking isn’t undone with hours of contemplation; in a fitting Kingdom Hearts fashion, it’s connections that lead to the revelation.

the roads we walk

Xehanort and Eraqus fall out with each other. They stop talking and sever the connection with each other. That was a core reason things got as out of hand as they did for each other; they weren't keeping each other in check. Xehanort's Darkness left him blind and unable to see that there was Light after all, and Eraqus's Light blinded him and left him stumbling with a Keyblade for a 'greater purpose.' Their hearts fell too far to one end of the balance, leaving the scales unbalanced.

Riku and Sora do not have that. They have a connection like nothing seen in this series before—Riku had literally raised Sora to become a Child of Destiny alongside him. The Light of their hearts is just so awe-strikingly bright. 

Sora, however, has lost himself in all his light. He is stuck in the same bright room that Eraqus was, stumbling around with his Keyblade. But where Eraqus was forever lost, Sora can be found: because where Riku had Sora to guide him to the Light, Sora will have Riku to guide him through the Darkness. 

Riku spends the majority of his character simply proving that he is capable of redemption. It takes him the ending of a game to realize the errors in his ways and another game to figure out the solution he must fight for, and these weren't revelations he finds on his own—he found the first with Sora and the second (in CoM) with Mickey and Namine.

For Sora to even have the revelation that he cannot keep shutting out the Darkness in him unless he wants more pain for himself and others, he needs someone to help show him that is an option. And who else but Riku, who is living proof that existence isn’t just black-or-white, Light or Darkness?

Riku is Sora's foil. A foil is a character who either has pronounced differences between themselves and the protagonist or is so alike that a contrast appears. Riku is the ladder, similar enough to Sora that one can begin to make assumptions about where the story is heading. Their similarities aren't hard to find: they both hail from Destiny Islands, they both have a love for adventure, they both were assumed to walk a path of Light for the rest of their lives, and they both care deeply for each other. The contrast begins in KH1 when Riku begins his fall to Darkness while Sora remains firm in his standing.

Riku’s arc ended with acceptance; he needed to accept the Darkness and the Light inside him to find peace. It’s only natural that his foil, struggling with the same imbalance, would go through a similar arc but still different enough to be his own.

It isn't just the story telling us this. Riku has always been associated with imagery of dawn, the breaking of Darkness into Light, and Kairi is always associated with imagery of dusk, the breaking of Light into Darkness (which is a conversation all on its own). Sora, on the other hand, is associated with a large blue sky (his name, after all, does mean sky.) It's not hinting towards a journey of any kind—not a redemption like for Riku.

He is the daylight. He is the Light in everyone's lives. But ‘Sora’ doesn't mean the day sky. It simply means sky. Sky, at day or night—and I don't mind if you call me reaching at this point, but it feels like it's calling out to the fact that Sora needs to accept that he is both Light and Darkness, the way the sky is both day and night. 

Nomura has even stated in an interview before when asked about the two different versions of the Dream Drop Distance illustrations that he “wanted its composition and look to remind [the player] of the title’s catch copy, ‘Darkness becomes light, light falls into darkness.’” The parallel structure of the tagline serves to mirror the parallel structure of Sora and Riku’s paths, Sora’s road to night and Riku’s road to dawn.

But I digress. Exhaustively, it’s very apparent that Sora is heading toward a climax, a Darkness he cannot ignore. His breakdown in KH3 was left unspoken, unresolved, and his disappearance only contributes to the fact that he’s heading toward another breaking point, where the cheerful protagonist can no longer remain cheerful. But like in KH3, something is going to be the same: Riku.

At his lowest point, it was Riku who was next to him, telling Sora that he believed in him. It was Riku who carried on when Sora couldn’t. Riku is going to be key in Sora's journey to night. Riku was able to find his Road to Dawn by remembering Sora. He was able to walk by remembering his love, his passion, his everything, and it was because of Sora that Riku found balance. He found the Light within himself, and he learned to accept that the Darkness would always be a part of him, the way it is for others. 

Sora's arc will be spun into motion because of Riku. The next installments of Kingdom Hearts are setting up that Riku's dreams are the key to finding Sora, implying perhaps that it may be Sora and Riku all alone in a world. Whatever the case, Riku is going to be by Sora's side, as that is where they are at their best, to face Sora’s worst.

And it's fitting. Riku had to go from Darkness, defined as a lack of connections, to a balance with Light, having connections. He went from his isolation, wearing a blindfold and not being able to face anyone, to being the charming Riku we all love, fighting alongside the Keyblade wielders. His journey would have him open up, so he would be joined by memories, ghosts, not by people until he began to embrace others.

Sora will be going from Light to a balance with Darkness. He'd be going from connections to a lack (though not in the same extremes that Riku did), in a sense. Understandably, he can’t do it alone, make such a drastic change; he'd need someone.

This change, this balance, this emphasis on connections, it’s guiding us to what the narrative has been trying to tell us all along.

we can be the darkness, and the light, and the sunsets and sunrises too

When asked about the theme of KH3 and the entire series, Nomura answered, “It’s in the title: hearts. The consistent theme across the whole series is ‘What is a heart?’”

Kingdom Hearts is going to be doing something unprecedented in not only a lot of media but in its world itself. While the idea of Light and Darkness existing within characters is not new, the characters aren't exactly behind that idea. Most of the Keyblade Wielders and Guardians of Light cherish the Light above all else—while all the primary villains worship the Darkness. They fight for a balance but don't fully grasp that within (nearly) all of them lies both entities. 

Riku seems to be more accepted in the world, as he did join the Light in the end. But what Sora would do is... just absolutely bonkers. He will be embracing a Darkness in him, the same kind that Terra and so many others were taught to push out. Sora will be... well, a teenager. Happy and angsty and all the things teens are.

This is where Kingdom Hearts has the chance to seal the deal, to fully welcome this balance of Light and Darkness: a relationship between Riku and Sora. 

For all Guardians of Light, there is a generational trauma hanging over their heads and haunting them, and Sora will need to accept his Darkness to combat it, but the story can't end there. The games have been building up the idea that Sora will be the one to bring change to the world, that Sora will be the one to end this cycle. He won’t just accept his Darkness but lead a new age. He will be the one to show that there's a different way (or really, only one other way) to move forward:

Love. 

Unconditional love. Not love depending on whether they fit the wielders' definitions of Light and Darkness, not love depending on the amount of Light in someone's heart, not love clouded by hypocrisy. Just pure love, forever forgiving and growing.

So who better for Sora’s love than Riku?

Let’s get all the arguments for Kairi out of the way first. Some may say that Kairi could still fulfill this role of spreading love in the next games, but that’s only if her role in the story is completely revamped. She represents friends growing apart as they grow older yet remaining close. While Sora and Riku represent a balance between Light and Darkness, Kairi represents holding a Light close to your heart, even when it's so far away; fitting for her story of being ripped apart from her home.

The games keep pushing the friends' growing apart narrative rather than pulling from it, having Kairi remain with Aqua to train while Riku goes after Sora. There is little space for Kairi to suddenly walk a road to dusk that leads to romance. Especially because it’s Sora and Riku who are the Children of Destiny, they are the ones who will connect to other hearts and bring change, not Kairi. Her lesson would be for herself, not for the world to see. 

A relationship between Kairi and Sora would just be backtracking on this message. Sora needs to accept his Darkness, but joining forces with a Princess of Light does not challenge any norms, it does not provide a new answer. It makes sense because the core of Kingdom Hearts isn’t a Prince and Princess of Light—it’s two boys who saw the night sky fall one day, two boys who grew up together, two boys destined for something greater who write their own paths anyway. It’s Sora and Riku. Nomura himself has stated that “Sora and Riku represent the theme of the Kingdom Hearts series, which is the ‘light and dark sides of the heart,’” the essence of this essay. 

Carrying on, some may stop me here and say that their love doesn't need to be romantic for a point to be made. But I argue that there is no other way.

Romantic love in stories often serves as the culmination of the story’s themes. In Leigh Bardugo's books, her romances serve to show the importance of love and healing. In the Shadow & Bone trilogy, Alina has the options between the Darkling, representing power, Nikolai, representing nationalism, and Mal, representing love. Just love. Not one befitting of a Saint, someone to change the world, but that’s not who Alina wanted to be; she just wanted a happy ending. Shockingly, she picks Mal. In Six of Crows, Kaz and Inej's romance, both traumatized teenagers, serves to show that you can heal and you can love. They're both scared of people, scared of intimacy and yet they still love with all their scars on display.

In Revolutionary Girl Utena, the romance between Utena and Anthy reaches its climax at the end of the show, displaying the vulnerability of both girls and the rawness of their feelings. But most importantly, it drives home the message: that the power to bring revolution is not the power of a prince or a witch. The power to change the world is love. The only way to change the world to be suitable to live in is through love. The power, a revolution, brought by love.

Romance is a revolution. It’s often saved for the last act of stories because of how it acts as a thread between all of the themes. In Kingdom Hearts, the theme needing weaving is balance: balance between yourself and others, balance between selflessness and selfishness, balance between Light and Darkness. Sora and Riku getting together would be Yin and Yang—a boy who had to accept his Darkness and a boy who had to fight for his Light. They complement each other and fill where the other lacks. 

Likewise, a relationship between them stresses the importance of connections. Tai Yasue, co-director of the series, has stated that “the theme of the KH series is ‘connections of the heart,’” and the narrative will take advantage of any opportunity to let that theme shine. Previously, many defenders of Light would sacrifice their connections with others for a greater good. But Sora and Riku choosing to love each other, choosing to love the Light and Darkness in each other instead of trying to chase away their Darkness, is showing that love is their other option. 

Sora getting with Kairi challenges nothing. It tells the others that Light must be with Light, that good must be with good. Even their grand attack in Re:Mind is two giant angel wings where they proclaim, “Light!” Sora and Riku, however, show that Light does not mean good. It shows that people can do bad things, and it doesn't make them bad, because people are not black and white. Like two kingdoms forever at war with each other, finally coming together and realizing that the other side is human and that you can't simply demonize them.

Sora and Kairi say there is nothing wrong with the world. To carry on. Sora and Riku say that there isn’t anything wrong with the world; it’s the people looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with what’s around us. Nothing wrong, nothing right. “Nothing is whole, and nothing is broken.” It’s simply being: being Darkness, being Light, being both, being neither.

It has to be Sora and Riku. It's always had to be them. Riku brought Sora up to the status of a Child of Destiny, and their journeys were led by each other, their character development taught by one another, and their acceptance will come from (an eventual) conversation between the two about their pain and hurt and Darkness, it’s all always been leading here. To this moment in time where they show the world all the hurt they hold and how they carry on with.

All of that, and loving each other? 

They are crossing the line, as Hikaru Utada sings in Don't Think Twice. They are going to be crossing every line established in Kingdom Hearts, and this is their power. Their revolution. Their predetermined yet self-made destiny. The payoff for years and years of searching and yearning and pining and chasing is a love that brings revolution, and oh...isn't that just romantic? 

That is the answer to “What is a heart?” The heart is the love you have, despite it all. The heart is the connections you make, despite it all. The heart is your Darkness and your Light and your experiences and your fights, despite it all. The heart is Sora and Riku, despite it all.

grant us the power to bring the world revolution

A lot of this analysis really depends on whether or not you believe Sora and Riku are in love with one another, I realize. You may agree with me that it seems fitting that their coming together as a pair would catalyze all the themes in Kingdom Hearts, but you disagree that it means they'd ever be a pairing. Which, I'd like to thank you for at least hearing me out. 

The queerness of their relationship means there will always be naysayers to them getting together, there will always be people claiming that I'm reaching. I do not care if you see them as brothers or ‘just’ really good friends. I see a love story. I see a love story and a love story saying to love, above all else. Do not judge others for you don't know what is wrong or right, for you are biased, for you are flawed, for you are human. Love others for that is the heart's will. Love.

I see that their getting together would be a testament to that love. To that forgiveness, to those flaws we have. It would be an acceptance of Riku's pain and Darkness that he mysteriously doesn't want to acknowledge, it would be an acceptance of Sora's pain that he's been bottling up ever since the beginning of his journey, and it would be an acceptance to the Light they both share. It would be the balance that so many generations have looked for and couldn't find because they did not practice acceptance, only judgment. 

Sora and Riku getting together is acceptance and it's proof that love is the answer to a generational trauma that has been around ever since the beginning of time. So yeah: Soriku Endgame, Actually. 

Thank you so much for reading! I’m a really big fan of stories about light and darkness and the balance between them, stories about love, and just Kingdom Hearts in general. I didn’t want to keep these thoughts in the back of my head and I’m glad I wrote them all out, even if it’s messy (and a shocking 6k words long...) Kingdom Hearts is a bit messy, after all.

If you're interested in more about Sora and Riku's relationship or just literary analysis of KH in general, please check out Constructing Kingdoms on YouTube, as it helped give me the words to write a lot of this essay. Further, if you're in total denial that there is any queer text in Kingdom Hearts, please check out this amazing video essay on Riku being gay. 

That's all I have. Please feel free to share if you have any disagreements or if any parts really spoke to you, or if you have anything to add, or anything really. These two live rent-free in my mind, and I don't mind talking about them or about how they're just so perfect to change the world.

Thank you. Spread love (and the Soriku agenda.)

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/754276889628213248/before-becoming-a-ctommy-apologist-im-one-of-the?source=share

ahh intrestingg I never realized that csap, cdream ect would have felt betrayed by ctubbo but that makes a lot of sense, also explains why they burned down his house. Also I really need to watch those sam lore streams because I've only ever seen brief clips of it, do you know how I can find them?

for ur q, I can definietly understand why people hate ctommy both in lore and out. I started enjoying him around the pogtopia to exile era when I saw how he was trying to help cwilbur snap out of it, and I saw these morals that I hadn't noticed in the character before. And, the part where he and cdream were working together in the battle of the lake and he kept insisting that they were friends for once I just found it interesting that the shift went from him despising dream to being open to being allies and friends which that part kind of made me realize that he is open minded.

Then exile came and dear lord I started hated him again at first like I was completely pissed with what happened to cgeorges house and I blamed ctommy entirely and then I noticed cdreams little :) in the whisper chat provoking him so then I kind of shifted to a grey view then my friend pointed out that ctommy tried to stop the fire. During exile itself, I started projecting a lot since abandonment issues is something I got and I did some projection because I cope in a similar way to how he did like using humor as a coping mechanism like also that stream when cwilbur and cquackity were arguing the whole time at las nevadas and ctommy was just acting naive and childlike making dumb jokes to cope with trauma and how cwilbur and cquackity yelling was distressing him. Idk it just hit close to him for me. I think the personality being so inconsistent is also relatable like sometimes very open minded (that one butterfly quote I forgot), sometimes destructive craving war, sometimes craving peace, hyper empathetic, cares about people that hurt him like cwilbur who he wanted revived at one point even though cwilbur manipulated and hurt him. Also, The prison arc like ctommy visiting cdream and rather than showing his fear, he instead just makes stupid jokes and tries to annoy cdream as much as possible. the dick clock joke like. Ik it was cc mucking around but I saw some deep traumatic response there about how ctommy was being annoying to make sure cdream couldn't pull an exile again if that makes sense like if you annoy someone trying to manipulate you then what are they gonna do, it kind of reminds me of spongebob with the strangler. to put it more into perspective, I also rlly like gumball, cuphead and others I forgot... impulsive loud childish characters that have abandonment/validation issues and cause lots of problems. I was a huge trouble maker in the past and the consequences of it were traumatizing [I guess I could have just said that to sum up why I like ctommy 😭]

actually that reminds me that I have ctommy and cdream both on my kin list lol Both of them have fear of abandonment and problems with agency, wanting simpler times and doing bad things for good reasons or even good things for bad reasons, both of them are hated, both of them have strong attachments. my god my writing is a mess can you tell this wasn't preplanned . I hope I explained it well enough

Indeed, and I don’t think they were the only ones who felt betrayed by people like Tubbo joining L’manberg, as I’ve said before I think Punz certainly felt betrayed and left out…. But anyways, here is a playlist with all the streams and there are transcripts online too if you feel so inclined just google dsmp transcripts and the website will pop up.

lol yes you could just say projection. XD That’s always valid. I can hardly argue with that point. That’s what I do after all. ;D And you have the absolute utmost right to feel and project as you want and those are valid reasons for liking a character. (Not that you need valid reasons or anything) No condemnation from me, just to be clear. I appreciate you answering, especially with such honesty. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been so hard for you, that sounds pretty awful and traumatic. I hope, unlike Tommy, you can find real healing. <3 <3

Having said that, because I can’t help myself, even though I asked the question, I hope you don’t mind me poking some holes in your reasoning.

Ahh open minded and friends when it benefits him, after Dream gave him a set of armor and even I think his own bow too. Yeah, fighting an entire army by himself in the Battle of the Lake would be very motivating to be friends and isn’t that how he (they) used Technoblade - as a blade, a resource to get what he (they) wants. - ‘Thanks for the nethrite, big T. Wait did you have an opinion or something this whole time?!’ - yea I’m not sure open minded would be a word I’d choose to describe Tommy is any sense. He certainly doesn’t listen to people, and I don’t see him trying new ideas and stuff. How many times does Tubbo try and keep the peace and tell Tommy something is not a good idea, but he never listens. He doesn’t change his ideology about L‘manberg when teamed up with Techno, he doesn’t even gain a deeper understanding of Techno being a person while sided with him. How can he be open minded?

Yeah the whisper in the chat always throws me off, too. My view is that he wanted Tommy to be exiled for burning down George’s house to protect George and set an example for anyone else who tries to mess with George, and so he wanted Tommy to lash out. But there’s also the thing of Tommy constantly bad mouthing him the whole time so yea it would feel good to have some comeuppance. And how many times has Tommy whispered to someone to rub it in there face or piss them off? But it’s different when it’s Dream huh…

Oh how noble to stop the fire you started. Did he also return the things he stole? Or apologize for the damage he did? Try and fix it? No?… yeah, sure he took the blame for Ranboo, but I think that was the end of his nobleness.

Doesn’t he always joke? Eh not important I guess, he does a lot of sulking too though to be fair… Hyper empathetic is quite a choice of words. Especially because I’m not sure Tommy even feels empathy (but that’s probably a topic for a later time). Like honestly, I can’t think of one instance where he emotionally connects to someone… like heh? He cares about people. - Does he? Does he care about people that hurt him? How bout, Eret? Techno? Does he care about them? Outside of Wilbur, who has he done something for. Or is it just Wilbur, who as you pointed out has manipulated him into a twisted familial relationship.

lol to be fair, Tommy is always annoying, is always telling jokes, is always antagonizing Dream. Like as far as I can tell, when it comes to that behavior I’m pretty sure there was hardly a difference between pre exile mocking Dream and post exile mocking Dream. Just saying…

Umm well depends on the context of that honestly, manipulation is a diverse tool in many situations. Part of the manipulation could even be pushing someone to be annoying like he does in the staged finale for instance. Being annoying isn’t necessarily a deterrent, though it could be to remind himself that he hates Dream in contrast to his feelings in exile so perhaps that’s what you meant.

Yeah, I haven’t seen those shows well I do know the video game cupheads, but I get the idea and you’re not alone in that. I guess perhaps my childhood experience was just different and that’s one of the reasons I don’t get it… in any case, I’m glad you found a good character to project on (it’s very therapeutic) even if I don’t quite get it. XD <3

[tmbgaresuck]

Please explain to me the Marty Beller lore

!LONG POST!

Marty Beller- The Early Days?

marty, comparted to the Johns, has a very cloudy past that we know nothing about. All we know is that he joined TMBG at some point

one theory I've seen floating around it that Marty's parents couldn't afford their bills, so they ended up SELLING Marty to TMBG! This would explain why his name is Marty.

The Assassin?

Marty Beller is known for being fast, drumming, and being precise. All skills needed to be an ASSASSIN! Also, look into Marty Beller's sinister face and tell me he hasn't killed before.

i knew of this kid named James Piest and he liked TMBG EXCEPT he wasn't too keen on John Linnell. No idea why you'd like the band if you hate one of the leaders. Anyways, Marty Beller 'escorted' him personally to his car...but actually not! They found James DEAD on the cold disgusting asphalt with a lot of blood and a lot of bullet casings and on the car door it said- 'WORK OF MB'...Marty Beller?

also, while no big media outlet will talk about this, David Byrne found a letter neatly tucked into his car wipers that said "COLLAB WITH TMBG OR DIE YOU DIE MB"...suspicious.

The need for a second Marty

since every member has a buddy, it'd just make sense for Marty to have one. But poor ol Marty Smeller doesn't...or does he? Did?

you know how sometimes how siblings kill each other? Maybe that's what happened to the other Marty. This seemingly random skeleton pictured above is standing right next to where the OTHER Marty would be...that's very weird, don't you think? So you shouldn't feel bad about Marty not having a second half, because he likely did and just killed him.

Is it REALLY Marty Beller?

In 2011, TMBG released a song called "Marty Beller Mask", which subtly revealed that Marty Beller was IN FACT Whitney Houston.

as you can see, it is very very easy to get in possession of a Marty Beller mask. In 2009, thats when Whitney Houston released her last album and then likely when she took over Marty Beller's life. She does a good job but I wish she'd stop being so evil and stop promoting her music all the time.

this isn't even Marty's fault, it shows the callousness of TMBG just letting their bandmate get his identity tooken over. It makes it a little less dark if you think that she just takes over for live performances because she is so talented

MISC

There has never been anyone named Marty Beller registered with the SSA...hmmm

The song Doctor Worm may be in reference to how Marty faked being a doctor because it talks about how much this "Doctor Worm" fellow likes playing the drums but is a fake doctor. This song interpretation opens new and scary truths

He kind of looks like he'd own a place where they sell artisanal burgers and only hire hipsters with a lot of piercings

hope this didn't scare you too bad

[yanderes-galore]

Can we get a yandere concept for Pig/Amanda Young? I just realized that you haven't done one yet.

I can try, never watched the SAW movies so I hope I can keep her personality right. Not really using her Tome personality but I'll sprinkle it in here and there to keep it unique.

Yandere! The Pig/Amanda Young Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Slight sadism, Delusional behavior, Mentioned past drug addiction, Mentioned past self-destructive behavior, Death/Murder, Violence, Poor mental health, Dubious but forced companionship.

Supposedly according to her original lore Amanda entered the fog after her death.

By this point her mentor is dead too and she's left to serve The Entity as "The Pig" once again.

She says in her lore no one in the fog can be redeemed.

To her they're simply meat to slaughter.

However, for the sake of this concept, maybe she sees you in a different light.

Maybe she sees your fear and nervous behavior and sees herself.

You're scared... easily manipulated... similar to her.

While she learned she herself could not be redeemed... perhaps you're different.

Maybe you don't deserve to be here... a poor soul unable to escape.

How unfortunate, for now you will be prey.

Yet later that may change.

Amanda is depicted as nervous and scared to fail while being attached to her "savior" in SAW from what I've seen.

While DBD makes her more sadistic in nature.

So I have a feeling how I'd depict her is somewhat understanding of the survivor she's close to but also be sadistic towards others around you.

In her delusional mindset she may begin to think her darling could do no wrong while those around you could tempt you.

Her sadism could be explained by her time in the fog.

My personal HC is The Entity corrupts those in its realm, which would change how Amanda behaves as she's used to all the murder now.

I think this would be a good way to incorporate both versions of her personality (The movies and DBD).

Her obsession starts like most killers, she just sees you as prey.

However over time she'd begin to see the similarities between you and her.

Soon you notice you're no longer shoved into traps or put on a hook much.

Sometimes you're ignored and spared.

Sometimes the pig just likes to stare.

Watching her crouched and just staring at you gives an illusion of innocence, she looks like she's in the same situation as you.

But by now you know that's a lie.

Amanda has a tendency to cling to those she feels she can't live without.

Maybe, like some killers, you provide her with a sense of humanity/normalcy.

As a result she finds herself being attached to you.

The Entity can sense the changes you stir in Amanda, so you become obsession every trial for her.

The Entity likes how Amanda goes almost feral like an animal when she sees other survivors than you.

She feels they will corrupt you like she was in the past.

Amanda hates that she could never be redeemed, even by John.

Don't worry, she'll prevent such corruption.

No doubt by brutal sacrifice....

As a result she wants to prevent your corruption... unknowingly corrupting you in the process.

She already knows she's long gone in terms of redemption, she doesn't expect you to "fix" her.

It's hard to tell what Amanda feels for you.

Does she want to be a guardian to you?

Did she feel something precious with you?

She may, however, think you'll ease her pain.

Amanda's mental state is certainly fragile.

She used drugs long ago and even gave into self-destructive behaviors yet again before she died.

She may feel like she has to cling to you to feel normal in a way.

It scares you when she pounces on you in matches.

By this time the others are gone, you feel the remnants of them seep into your clothes.

Then the pig doesn't let go.

She doesn't put a trap, just clings to you.

There's no sound but the breathing of both of you.

In her mind she wonders if she can just trap you with her.

She wonders if her new "mentor" will allow her to keep this survivor as a reward.

She'll treat the others like the meat they are... but not you.

Amanda doesn't want to let you go.

The most she can do is give you the gate or give you the hatch.

But she doesn't want that.

So, as she picks you up and carries you to escape, she buries herself in her thoughts.

She wonders if she can sacrifice something to The Entity to keep you.

Even if it's just for a few minutes...

She'd do anything to keep you with her in private, just to relate to someone.

[puhpandas]

This may sound kind of dumb, but I don't... really want hw 2 to make the books canon? As someone who had never heard of (and doesn't have an interest in buying and reading) the books until shortly after ruin. The idea that there's extremely plot relevant information that you'll be totally lost without for the game's plot locked away across several books just doesn't sit right with me, mostly cause I've seen other game series decide to not explain things at all under the strange assumption that every player definitely read the books when that definitely isn't the case. Like, I'm begging steel wool to actually explain that stuff in game, even if it's locked behind some secrets, because I shouldn't have to buy and read several 30 dollar books based off a game in order to understand said game's plot.

idk i could go into this in more detail but I also don't wanna drop an entire essay in a single ask on you (unless you want me to go into it more, but that's your call)

I just assume that we've already crossed that line because of the mimic being in ruin. I'm not sure if things like the mimic especially or GGY were planned from the beginning and released too early AFTER sb and BEFORE ruin (for the mimics case) because of the last delay of the game, or if they were just written and released when they were.

if the mimic hadn't been canon, I wouldn't even be considering GGY being in a game or it even being canon. but the mimic is at least, so theres a chance GGY will be too. especially because of how many gaps in the story it fills in and how it completes the narrative if you view everything in context of it.

the books being canon and lore hidden behind paywalls sucks, but also it's something early fnaf fans wished for (back when the silver eyes first came out, I remember people hoping it had lore because people wanted any crumbs at that point) so maybe they didnt see anything wrong with it because of that

in my eyes, to give them the benefit of the doubt, SW fnaf games take much longer to make and release than early/clickteam fnaf did. four games over the course of one year back then, because of how light they are, and games farther apart now (HW + dreabear (2019) security breach (2021) ruin + HW2 (2023))

SW era fnaf games are a lot heavier and bigger, and that means longer to release and more time waited in between them. so maybe they made the choice to put lore in books because they couldnt fit EVERYTHING they needed into a game without it taking literal years to cover everything, so they settled for books instead.

but maybe that's just me. this is just a theory anyway and theres no indication it's actually true, just speculation. but hopefully when I say what I said above and that the things in the books they're making canon are actually like, cool things (the mimic and probably ggy) it makes you feel better about the whole thing

[corvidcrybaby]

Hello, friend! I just stepped into Hellsing this past weekend and through my scrolling for blogs to follow, I came across yours. I found you through your posts about your OC. Based on what I've already read from you, you seem like a highly thoughtful, kind and knowledgeable person, and I've got every intention of reading your stories and commenting on them!

If it pleases you, I'd like to ask you some questions about Hellsing and your relationship to it.

1. What first drew you to the series? And is it best to follow the manga, anime, or OVA in terms of interpreting the story?

2. If it was up to you, what would you change about the story?

3. What's your take on the overall dynamic between Alucard, Integra and Seras?

4. I see the story takes quite a few artistic liberties with the lore from Dracula by Bram Stoker. Why do you suppose Alucard tried to turn Mina? Do you suppose it was for similar reasons as those for why he turned Seras?

5. I've been doing my share of research into vampire lore as of late and have come to learn that the lore Bram Stoker borrowed from for and added to through his novel contains antisemitic undertones. As a Jewish individual and a fan of the Hellsing series, how do you navigate this? (Disclaimer: I am not Jewish, which is why I did not recognize this myself until recently.)

Thanks so much for your time and attention. Happy Holidays!

First of all, oh my gosh thank you so much for the kind words! This ask made my whole day - I hope you enjoy my works, I feel like you can physically see my sense of writing develop over time but I put a shitload of heart and soul into them so I hope it shows. <3 As for your questions, I'm going to get into some major spoilers, so reader be warned beneath the Read More.

I think the general aesthetic was what drew me to the series at first. The dark, edgy and mysterious elements blended with pulpy action hero shit and campy horror form a really unique beast in terms of art, storytelling, everything. I saw someone refer to Hellsing's approach as "aesthetic maximalism" and tbh that is everything I love about it - all this, plus the surprisingly heartfelt messages about war, trauma and being human kept me coming back for more. As for which version is best to follow, I personally lean towards the manga as the main reference point, but Hirano was plenty involved (to my knowledge) with Ultimate's development since it's the adaptation that's faithful to the manga. The Gonzo 2001 anime has some fun ideas and cool moments but it's basically fanfic, including some major changes to the characters from their original versions (Integra is outright cruel at times in 2001 and way more dogmatic, Alucard is more brooding and mysterious, and Seras has more to do and feels more mature but her personality got flattened). Oh, that and BDSM as a narrative device. Love that shit.

I would make a couple of changes, personally. First and foremost, I would make it a little clearer why Alucard decided to shoot Seras before then turning her. It's never explained if he did this out of selfish desire to have a companion, or if there's some other reason - from our perspective it seems like he really did just murder Seras to make her his pet. It seems totally plausible for him to have shot the vampire holding her hostage without hurting Seras. Right now, it basically looks like a glorified abduction. However, this kind of clashes with how their dynamic develops over time, and that's clearly not the kind of relationship that's meant to be portrayed between them, as they do have a certain sort of genuine affection for one another, but it isn't delved into as much as I would like. I think making it clear one way or another would dispel the uncertainty. I would also expand on Millennium's origins and personal motivations more, and at least make the references to their crimes against Jews more overt. Beyond that, there is little I would change.

BDSM polycule. No. Literally. I don't even mean this to say that they are canonically a throuple - that misses the mark. BDSM is often sexual, but it does not need to be (plenty of dynamics exist where a dominant and submissive engage in a power exchange without ever touching one another for mutual benefit). The characters call those who direct their actions 'Master' for a reason, and it's because Hellsing is rife with themes of dominance versus submission, and how the act of bending to someone else's will is not necessarily a bad, damning thing that makes you weak. Alucard knows he is not a moral person, so he gladly allows Integra to give him orders on who to kill, who to destroy, and so on. Seras is a fearful person who has long struggled to feel a sense of agency in her life, and lacked authority figures to guide her growth. Alucard and Integra both provide her that push - and it's scary, and it hurts, and she puts up a fight all the while because she's frightened and uncertain of herself. Everyone likes to act as though Alucard hated her for this, but that seriously misses the mark. Especially in the manga, Alucard is surprisingly patient with her refusal to grow, telling her to take her time as she adapts to being a vampire. But at no point do either parties let Seras forget - growth is not optional. Eventually, she will have to accept what she is. And she ends up finding solace, belonging, and fulfillment in her service to others in this way.

I doubt it was for these reasons. Personally, I think Alucard’s affiliation with and interest in Mina Harker is often overstated by the fandom - of Dracula the novel, and of Hellsing. I view what he did to Mina as a cruel, strategic crime of opportunity, a means of striking at the heart of the team of vampire hunters that were pursuing him. That, and a means of keeping an eye on them. Nothing more, nothing less.

Aaahh that's a spicy meatball. So first and foremost I think it is important to note that a great deal of tropes in literature from the Eurosphere have some level of antisemitism baked into them. As one of the oldest forms of bigotry, it's just a fact of life. If you're Jewish and engaging with media whatsoever, you run into it. It just happens. Now, having said that, I would say two things. One, Alucard is far tamer in appearance than Dracula is in the novel. No small beady eyes, no retracted hairline of messy-fluffy hair, and while he does have an aquiline nose, it isn't this grotesque-looking oversized Zeppelin of a thing as most antisemitic caricatures would portray. That, and his negative personality traits are more than of a general brute, rather than this small-minded, vindictive, greedy miser. Having said that, he does still use seduction as a weapon, he does drink blood (blood libel), and so on. That in mind, I think where I fall is that you cannot divorce the vampire from its origins as an antisemitic trope, but you can point to the elements of the trope that aren't necessarily anti-Jewish in nature as well as say that Alucard is departed enough from these roots to be largely divorced from them. Largely, keyword.The other part to this is that antisemites in Hellsing are consistently portrayed as the villains. Indeed, it is perhaps the only usage of the Nazi Vampire trope that I think does it justice. By having the bigots that would normally insist that Jews are blood-drinking monsters be the actual monstrous enemies who kill and plunder just because it's fun for them (and that they did this as humans long before they turned to boot), it gives the impression of commentary on how Jews are often scapegoated for the crimes of actual bad actors, in the same way that Jews get blamed for the economy being bad instead of the rich corporate oil barons who sit in their ivory tower ruining shit for everyone else. That, and general commentary on warfare. Warmongers gorging themselves on the blood of innocent people that their conflicts spill is a classic allegory of the vampire - hell, for that matter, think of how many Confederate vampires there are in fiction. It isn't a coincidence (and come on, we've all seen the thumbnail for that one YouTube video essay on this, LOL). Beyond this, I also want to draw attention to two things: Tubalcain Alhambra's name, and the Captain's death. First off, the fact that Hirano named the Brazilian collaborator with the Nazis after the Alhambra Decree, a watershed moment in European antisemitism which expelled, forcibly converted or murdered all of Iberia's Jews (Sephardim), boggles my mind and to this day I think it's the coolest fucking detail about Hellsing. It links the bad guys both with religious persecution and with violent antisemitism in an unmistakable way. That, and his name, Tubalcain, being named after the son of Cain. It's all very pointed.

Second, the fact that the Captain gives Seras the tools needed to kill him and it's a silver tooth? That Pip specifies comes from a death camp victim and makes it crystal clear for narrative purposes that it represents the crimes of the Nazis coming back to bite them? That's powerful, to me, IMO. It, too, links Millennium with their antisemitic crimes against humanity in a way that you really cannot make excuses for. I've spoken about this with fellow Jewish Hellsing fans, mind you, and my take is more charitable than most. If you want to be specific with it, the widely agreed-on way to properly discuss Nazism is to show point blank that their victims were primarily Jews, first and foremost - and in that, Hellsing falls short, as there isn't a single Jewish character in the series, named or otherwise (which is a gap I wanted to fill through my fanfiction). Having said that, I personally think that as far as depictions of Nazis in anime goes, it's one of the better ones out there - but it isn't perfect, and the style Hellsing is written in (it's basically opera, after all, Bertolt Brecht forgive me) kind of made that a forgone conclusion. Make of that what you will.

Thanks for the questions!!!

[wavernot4love]

hello wanted 2 talk about a bunch of fun things from Thursday first show of War All The Time tour 2nite at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo (this will include setlist spoilers)

(starting with a random little video of title track, the rest of it is in the keep reading thingy)

- TURNPIKE DIVIDES FOR THE LAST SONG??? they let her see the light of day!!! i am probably the only person who has heard her at 2/3 of the thursday sets they have seen /lh

- geoff took the piss out of victory records for not paying bands while talking about how i'll be you & jbny are mirrors of each other then played them back to back (also described jbny as their heaviest song.... correct!!!)

- crowd was GREAT. great pits, surfing vibes, actually hell, vibes were just great all around.

- make sure you get there early so you can catch both many eyes & rival schools (steve (thursday) actually played for rival schools today which was cool). i thoroughly enjoyed both sets, and tonight honestly made me a fan of many eyes as a project. i wasn't sure what to expect receptionwise from a buffalo crowd [insert every time i die lore] but everyone showed up for keith (buckley, former singer of etid)/them. i also thought he/they did great, and he seemed genuinely humbled. also saw him around after the show, bro was loading out merch so i didn't wanna bother him, but yeah, dude seemed chill. really enjoyed the songs as well, i'll be spinning them and staying tuned for future releases for sure.

- between that set, everyone just feeling like a true community all night, & a cameo from a local scene legend (if you know hardcore, the singer of terror/buried alive was watching sidestage all show, keith shouted him out hahaha), let's just say i felt like how i'd imagine patriotic americans feel when they hear the national anthem, but the western new yorker edition.

- between rupture and rapture & division st. were probably my favorite non big singles. so great to hear watt in full dude and the crowd was very engaged the whole time

- one thing that really sucks is geoff explained as they came out that pretty much all their instruments randomly got stolen right before they left for tour, so they were a little panicky and stuff but basically, nothing was gonna stop them from having a good time in buffalo (paraphrased). apparently when they were sorting out the tour routing a while back someone told them they should start in toronto but they were like, nah dude, we want to start in buffalo. back to my western ny patriotism analogy, i see. anyways, now that's what i call resilience. they put on a great performamce with such great energy, you can tell this is a band that truly loves doing this whole thing. support the guys extra hard this run.

- as the opening bit of understanding started i looked back at the carnage going on in the giant pit that was open at the moment and had to just. smile at That being a moment people were crowdkilling each other to /lh

- i brought my (digital) point & shoot and shot from the crowd! very stoked on those as i was quite close all show, will update with those once i edit em! will probably also be posting a review kinda thing on my site/ziney thing once i get that back up and published

- one final thing that haunts me is the wonder of what geoff was talking about here in this instagram story post from earlier. i even stuck around after the show (which ended around 10:30) in case... i don't know, thursday were to fly out of some sort of confetti cannon at 11 pm sharp, i have no idea, dude. someday i will ask geoff about Minds Blown - 11.00pm

anyway, every time i've seen thursday this past year of having the joy of really knowing their music (i'd heard of them of course just through being in the scene for years, but had just never listened then) thursdayband has come 2 mean more and more to me and i truly hope they never stop playing together as long as it makes them happy <3

[auxiliarydetective]

Identity Rewrite, Part 1

@drclairefinn talked about there not being many blogs posting about The Orville these days. So, I decided to try and reactivate my old hyperfixation and cook up something. This might not be what you were looking for, but it's the only thing I could get my brain to do. So, you'll be getting lots of drama, featuring a time-traveller OC and her boyfriend Gordon, mainly. This is something that I've been spinning in my mind like a rotisserie chicken since I first watched the episode, so let's see how it holds up. Also features a lot of OC lore, but I tried to explain everything. Because of that, this chapter is mostly build-up. But we're getting somewhere.

Have fun!

.

.

Gordon was walking through the corridors of the Orville, headed to sick bay. It was still a little hard to believe: Isaac was supposedly shut off. The lights that were his eyes had gone out and now he was motionless, maybe even lifeless. People died, yes, but Gordon would have never thought it could happen to Isaac - and not like this. Not that suddenly. Or maybe that was the only way it could happen to a Kaylon. Gordon had already hated waiting for his shift to end and now he felt he finally had to go see him, despite the fact that he probably couldn’t do anything. The least he could do was check up on his friend.

When he turned the corner to sick bay, he almost bumped into Raevyn who had her eyes fixated on a small box in her hands.

“Woah, hey,” he gasped.

“Hey,” Raevyn replied.

Something about her was off. Far off. She was nervous, anxious even.

“Did you just come from Isaac?” Gordon asked.

“Yeah. Yeah. He’s… well, uh, he’s motionless.”

“But they haven’t given up on him yet, right? There’s still hope.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, wait, you know what’s gonna happen,” Gordon suddenly remembered. “You’ve lived through this before in your old timeline. - Just for my nerves: He’s gonna be alright, right?”

“Yeah, he’s gonna be fine,” Raevyn confirmed, a soft smile on her lips.

“Good. … Then what are you so worried about?”

“Well, uh…”

“C’mon, you can tell me, baby,” Gordon said, taking her hands into his. They were warm as always - telling sign of the electricity running in her veins. The fingertips of her right hand were coarse from the overcharge scars on them. Through a gap between her fingers, he felt just a tiny part of the cold exterior of the box she was holding on his skin. “Is it about the box you got there?”

“The box is part of it.”

“What’cha got in there? Some secret weapon? Top secret info?”

“Headache pills.”

“Oh no, did they get worse again?”

“Not yet. But they’re gonna. I can already feel one coming on.”

That was when Gordon understood. “Something’s gonna happen, isn’t it? That’s why you’re so nervous.”

“To be honest,” Raevyn sighed, “yes. It’s something I’d rather not go through again.”

“We’ll get through it together,” Gordon assured her with a winning smile. “Just like we always do.”

Raevyn smiled too and nodded. “We’re gonna be brave about it.”

“Eh, you know I’m not too good at that.”

“You’re braver than you know. I think you’re pretty grand.”

Gordon smiled and kissed her, feeling her warm, soft lips on his. A wave of happiness overcame him, not just his own, but the telepathic gust of emotions she sent out, too. But there was nervosity reaching him as well, that characteristic flickering that could send you to the edge if it got too bad. That was one thing about Raevyn, she had stopped hiding her emotions from him a long time ago, letting her mind ease completely into his, showering him in trust. Sometimes, Gordon even thought he could sense her all on his own, without her establishing a telepathic connection, if her emotions were strong enough. They were like Vulcans, he thought, only far more emotional and far from logical.

Thank you, baby, he heard her voice in his head as they parted.

They stood there for a few more seconds, enveloping each other in a hug. But then, they each had to go their own way.

In sick bay, Gordon stood by Isaac’s bed for a while, watching him lie there. In a cruel way, it reminded him of the day Isaac had amputated his leg and they had both been in sick bay together. Isaac’s idea of a practical joke. A little misguided, but also maybe one of the best pranks Gordon had ever seen. Coincidentally, it was also the day Gordon had first met Raevyn. Nobody had believed her that she was from the future at first. Why would they? But through the troubles caused by Pria Lavesque, the crew had grown to trust and believe her. Now, over a year later, she was officially Chief of Security - again, one could say - and Gordon couldn’t imagine his life without her.

But he did wonder: What could she be so worried about? Up until now, she had taken most situations with a healthy degree of certainty that everything would be fine. She had trusted in the mission to Krill space, taken the disappearance of the Finn family with a calm state of mind, even the Church of Kelly and the encounter with the Regorians hadn’t shaken her. The only time she had ever been worried was for John on Sargus 4 - and correctly so. Had it not been for her, he would have had his mind fried. In turn, she had fried hers, though only figuratively, luckily.

Gordon found his thoughts spinning and quickly shook them off. It probably wasn’t that bad, right? Raevyn got emotional, too, she could just be worried about nothing. Besides, she had said that Isaac would be alright, so that would be no issue. And anything else, Gordon was sure of it, they would work through together, because he loved her and they had always supported each other, and if he wasn’t enough, they had friends that could help. Together, there was nothing they couldn’t do. Their wacky adventures were proof of that.

So, Gordon held on to the positive things: Isaac would be okay. That much was sure. So, as they were docked on Kaylon, he looked down on the planet with interest, free from the worries about Isaac others might have. He didn’t know how far the buildings went down or up, gigantic skyscrapers with antennae at their top were spread out until beyond the horizon, looking almost like needles. Every now and then, he saw a couple of Kaylon. They all looked the same, lacking all individuality. Only one thing about Isaac was different: While the other Kaylon’s eyes were orange, his were blue. Had they always looked that way or had he had them changed later because of the association with evil robots from movies humans might have? Gordon doubted it. Another question that came to his mind was whether they all had names. He had always wondered how Isaac had gotten his name. Had he chosen it himself? Had it been assigned to him? That was something he could finally ask him once he came back.

With questions like this, Gordon kept himself entertained until news came back on Isaac - and he felt a little betrayed: Isaac wasn’t coming back. His assignment was, apparently, completed and that was the end of it. It felt like a punch to the gut, but… that was just how he was. Logical to a fault. You could even call him cold. No, that would be unfair. In typical Union tradition, the crew of the Orville decided to host a goodbye party for Isaac. Gordon even prepared a song. The party went really well - everyone had fun and even Isaac seemed to enjoy himself, as much as he could be. Still, Raevyn had a melancholy air about her. She was sitting by the bar, drinking Tehiko rum all by herself. So, Gordon joined her.

“Are you alright?” he asked, trying to read the look in her softly glowing eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Raevyn murmured. “It’s just my head.”

“Too many people in the room?”

“Yeah, that’s probably it.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Raevyn chuckled and shook her head. “Dammit, Gordon, you’ve gotten too good at reading me. Are you a telepath too?”

“No,” Gordon said with a smile, “I’ve just been spending too much time with you - and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. So what’s really going on? Stress?”

“You got it.”

“We’re at a party and you still can’t let go. Has to be pretty bad, huh?”

“Yup. And you gotta stop asking because I can’t tell you anything.”

Gordon sighed heavily. “Temporal law. God, I’ve started to hate it.”

“Yeah, count me in.”

“I bet you’ve got it worse.”

“I’m just glad they let me stay and didn’t lock me up. You know, since time travellers are supposed to influence the time they land in as little as possible. But then they decided ‘hey, this is the one person who knows what the timeline’s supposed to be like, so let’s keep her around’.”

“I’m glad they did.”

“Yeah, but now I’m responsible.”

“You’re not responsible,” Gordon reminded her. “That’s why you’re always so on edge when something happens, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?”

“Just let it happen.”

Raevyn frowned. “I get you’re trying to make me feel better,” she mumbled, “but there’s nothing you can say that could make this okay. What’s coming up is far from anything we’ve gone through up until now because- No, I’m talking too much again. You have no idea how much I’d just like to dump all my emotions out in front of you but I can’t. It’s not that I don’t trust you, you’ve got to believe me, it’s just-”

“Temporal law, I know, I know,” Gordon grumbled. Oh, how he hated it. “But you’ve got to promise me one thing: As soon as you think you can say something, let me help you. I can’t stand seeing you like this. It’s you and me, okay?”

“Alright,” Raevyn said and gave him a weak smile. “I promise.”

She reached for his hand across the gap between the bar stools. Gordon took it and squeezed it lightly, hoping it would give her strength. Whatever was coming at them, he promised himself he’d be ready.

[cquackity]

sorry for bringing it up again when its over and feel free to answer privately/ignore me, i just wanted to explain why i find the eret stuff upsetting. i think its fair to think c!eret didnt need an apology from wilbur; thats just not the entire picture of what eret fans see when people go after her for that stream so we might be a little defensive.

i think to me the issue is that c & cc!eret crit cant be separated-- after the apology stream i literally couldnt be on here because people were being so awful about eret and consistently c!eret neg is tied in with people being assholes to the cc. also to me it reads as disrespectful to place all the blame for disliking that stream on eret when wilbur was on that stream, participated, and co-wrote that lore. i have never once had to avoid the dash due to cc!wilbur neg the way i have for eret, and thats pretty telling. not that ccwilbur deserves that, just that its interesting how bad eret gets it in comparison. even the post-utah stream didnt make me as upset as the way people talked about eret did and i am by far more of a wilburian than anything else.

to me, the apology was more for cc!eret for how poorly shes been treated for the last two years and because the fandom treats wilbur (c and cc) like the ultimate moral & narrative arbiter (despite the fact that a key element of his character is being an unreliable narrator); only his apology would make people actually think about how badly eret has been treated. and then it all backfired and everyone was so heinous about it that it was genuinely painful to be on here as a wilbur and eret enjoyer.

besides that meta element i genuinely liked that stream and felt like cwilbur did need a knock in the right direction, as i felt much of the apology tour was an empty gesture that externalized his need for self-forgiveness. not that he deserved to feel guilty or that his apologies were hollow, just that he wasnt going about his efforts to forgive himself in a healthy way, and hearing from someone who already got through it was super helpful.

im sorry folks sent you awful asks (and im also sorry for vagueing, i just couldnt figure out how to lay out my own feelings) but to me it feels really hurtful to see people shit on eret, c or cc, bc shes worked so hard and was the key to a really core moment on the server and gets very little recognition for it from other ccs (constantly being shut out of lore) and from the fandom.

sorry if this is a jumbled mess feel free to ignore it i just wanted to explain a little bit

hello bell! thank you for explaining i genuinely do appreciate your point of view! there is a reason i didn't unfollow you for vauging me lul, i find you to be a reasonable person who has reasonable standpoints on things. but like this goes for everybody who sees this: if you have an issue with me, just send me an ask like this! or a dm. or whatever. i'd also like to think i'm a pretty reasonable guy. i'm also pretty sure i tagged that post with the proper tags to be filtered too? at least i hope i did 💀

first off i'd again like to reiterate that i have literally nothing against cc!eret. i never mentioned cc!eret in my post, i have never posted cc!eret neg before, and the only point i made was that i don't believe c!eret deserved an apology from c!wilbur. i had more good things to say about c!eret in that post than negative. what other people are saying, that's not what i'm saying. i think it's unfair to group me in with people who have/are posting cc!eret neg. at the end of the day even if that's what you've seen that's not what i was talking about in the slightest. regardless of what content creator made the decision to have c!wilbur apologize i think it's a bad one. i stand by that.

nor do i think that it's entirely fair to treat that stream as some sort of meta on the cc!s lives instead of the characters. i've just never thought about that stream like that before, and it doesn't really make sense to me to do so. if either cc!wilbur or cc!eret have alluded to the apology being more for cc!eret i would be open to seeing a clip like that

i also disagree with c!wilbur needing to be "knocked in the right direction" mostly because i think there's several other more compelling turning points for his character post-revival, but i do respect c!eret fans wanting to enjoy a moment between the two of them.

tldr; i wasn't talking about cc!eret at all, and it's unfair to take my words that way when it was never the intention, and not separate them from their original meaning. please separate my discussion of the c!s and the cc!s

[ksqwildwest]

I posted 416 times in 2022

180 posts created (43%)

236 posts reblogged (57%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ksqwildwest

@soulguardianazeralith

@mairen-marionette

@creativepromptsforwriting

@zofi-persson

I tagged 182 of my posts in 2022

#tales from the smp - 159 posts

#tftsmp wild west - 159 posts

#tftsmp - 159 posts

#karl jacobs - 59 posts

#jack kenoff - 55 posts

#tftsmp mason - 55 posts

#town lore - 31 posts

#short - 25 posts

#tftsmp john john - 19 posts

#tftsmp the priest - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#i will continue to have the character sheriff sherman in this au and i hope to carry on technoblades memory in doing so

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A Morning Suprise

--------------------------------

"Mornin' John! I-" Connor cut himself off as he noticed that John wasn't behind the bar yet. Instead, Karl was sitting at the bar with a large white dog laying down on the counter top and a black cat on his head. Not the strangest thing Connor had ever seen.

He sat down next to Karl while eying the dog closely. Random animals weren't strange but you could never be too careful about the rabid ones. The dog glanced at them and simply nuzzled further into Karl's hand that was trapped beneath their body. Not even a huff. The cat, on the other hand, jumped over and started sniffing Connor's hands.

"Oh! Mornin' Connor," Karl chirped, "Didn't hear ya come in. Is Mason or Jack with ya?" He started glancing around as if the two wouldn't have bee lined for him the moment they showed up in town.

"Not this mornin', no." Connor told him, "really feelin' the love here."

"Oh! No offense, I didn't mean it like that-"

"I'm jokin' with ya Karl." He cut off Karl's apologie, "Mason and Jack have started asking the same thing to John when you're not down here in the mornin'."

"...Really?" Karl seemed to melt at the thought, ceasing his hands scritching. Connor's attention turned back to the dog, who seemed to be sending a displeased glare at Karl. He didn't even know dogs could radiate such disapproval.

"Yes, really. So, where'd these two come from?"

"I found them last night, they looked hungry so I gave them some jerkey. When I woke up, they appeared down here."

"Ah, so you've adopted them," Connor concluded. He looked back down to the cat, who was now licking his hand, and completely missed the flurry of emotions flash on Karl's face.

"Wait," Karl scoffed in confusion, "what do you mean?"

"If you feed a stray animal once, they'll expect you to do it again and hang around." Connor explained, "if you feed them once, they're yourse for life."

He'd ment it to come off as sarcastic, just because you fed an animal once didn't mean you had to do it again, but Karl did not take it sarcastically. Karl took it very seriously.

"Oh, wow. I wasn't really plannin' on it, but I guess it might be nice to have my own pets." He held onto the dog a little tighter, "I just got to figure out names for them, where they're going to sleep, what I'm going to feed you two," Karl's voice became the slightest bit shaken, "gotta make sure you stay safe from the coyotes, the sun, that you don't get trampled by any hourses, and-"

"KARL!"

Connor watched as Karl nearly jumped out of his skin. He was visibly shaking, and his breaths were a bit uneven. Yah, taking care of a pet was a big responsibility, but it shouldn't be that stressful.

Karl took a deep breath and mumbled what sounded like some kind of apology.

"Hey, don't apologize," Connor waved him off casually with the hand not being trapped by the cat, "something about this stresses you out. Want to talk about it?"

Karl almost said no one instinct alone. But a little voice in the back of his head was telling him that it would be better to get it off his chest then bottle it all up.

"I guess- I mean-" he searched for the right words, "I've lived With pets before but I never really owned any. I was never really responsible for any of them, other people took care of them and I only ever pet them. I just, don't know if I'm responsible enough to take care of a pet."

Connor really didn't know how being the sheriff of an entire town was less responsibility than keeping two pets alive, but if Karl stayed sad and worried, then everyone would get on edge.

He lifted the cat, who had climbed onto his hand at some point, and gently scooped them between Karl and the dog. Immediately, the cat started to groom Karl's face and hair, sending him into a fit of giggles.

Once the cat had finished grooming their face, Connor asked him, "What do you do when you don't know about something?"

Karl seemed to be taken aback by the question, "I try and read a book about it. If you can find all the answers with the right book!" He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Connor almost laughed out loud at that. Of course that's what Karl does, why wouldn't it be his answer.

"Well, if you can't find a book, I'm sure you can ask Percy and Michael for some pointers. William would be more than happy to order some new books for you. Besides, you said these two were strays right?"

Karl nodded as best he could without jostling the cat from his head.

"Well, then however poor or well you treat them, as long as you show them even a little bit of love, it's going to seem like a luxury compared to living on the streets."

See the full post

22 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#4

In the hidden town of Lazarus - A Poem

(I impulsively wrote a poem based off this au + didn't edit it so I hope you enjoy but I also apologize for any errors lul)

Hidden in a invisible fog, push and pull till it all breaks Just to restart every Sunday Never lost and never found But surround by those who have your heart

A happy sad tune for the one who went away A vengeful breath for the evil from outside The reversed cards helping the writer keep everyone safe And the lovers who just want him to stay

Hidden in a invisible fog, push and pull till it all breaks From the ground a book of strange ruins That the priest will gamble everything to solve soon Never lost and never found with the demons deal he takes

Everything is different and yet the exact same now The writer still stays up and the bandits steal But there's still something hiding beyond the fog It's has to be nothing this time, right everyone?

Hidden in a invisible fog, Preparing for nothing and everything Just to restart every Sunday Never know who might show up next But your surround by those who are your family

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay! "Hidden in a invisible fog" is such a good way to describe how the town is unable to be found by those who aren't lost and haven't been there before!

"Never lost and never found", YESSSS!!! Once you live there you can never be lost to death but you can also never be found if you don't play nice!

"A happy sad tune for the one that went away", BILLY! YES! YOU'RE REFERENCING THE SHORTS!

"A vengeful breath for the evil from outside", SHERMANS HATRED FOR BILLIUM!!! EAT THE RITCH!!!!

"The reversed cards helping the writer keep everyone safe" the writer is obviously Karl and the cards must be the bandits, but I do wonder why they are specified as reversed cards? I think I'm missing something here. No wait, the lovers are referenced in the next line. Are the reversed cards the pets?

"From the ground a book of strange ruins/ that the priest will gamble everything to solve soon" it's George and his book! The priests accidental summoning!

"Preparing for nothing and everything" and "never know who might show up next/ but you're surrounded by those who are your family"

.... I think you accidentally just foreshadowed the plot here and I'm honestly living for it!!! I can't say much more for spoiler reasons, but I must say that these lines can apply to multiple situations in the next couple stories!

27 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

#3

What if ksq!Karlnapity meet C!Karlnapity?

Thank you for the ask!

Oof, um, that... would be a thing.

There are a lot of different ways this could play out, but instead of any one single scenario playing out, I'm just going to write down the thoughts that each pair has about one another.

Jack and Quackity- if Jack and Quackity met before Q went through his casino arc, they'd click together instantly. Probably joke about "making out with their clone" and then actually make out with each other. They'd also be able to see through each other's 'dumb as a brick' routines and talk about their loved ones in Spanish. But after the whole casino arc, it's different. He'd see him as a kind of younger version of himself from back during the elections, playing the jokester and not taking life too seriously. Jack would also see Quackity as a younger version of himself, when he first left home and tried to make it big by working at a casino and treating every moment as a bet to be won. Their stories are very similar yet their personal growth took them in opposite directions. Quackity took things more seriously and Jack took things less seriously.

Mason and Sapnap- before the big fiancée fight, these two would probably get along like a house fire, but not right away. They'd both clash and challenge each other to a wrestling match and once they're tuckered out, then they start talking. The only real difference being that Mason is much more of an animal lover than Sapnap. They'd very much embody "two guys kicking back with beers, talking about weapons and pretty boys". After the fight, well, I'm not too sure. I think Sapnap could either decline the first offered wrestling match and Mason would ask why to which Sapnap would kinda just, word vomit everything that's wrong. Or, Sapnap would be full out trying to kill Mason on sight while yelling about the things he blames himself for, like "You should have checked in on him!", "Why didn't you talk to him?", and stuff like that. Mason, having no idea what he's talking about, "Hey, whoa! Do you- *doges sword* ya need ta talk about something? *doges tnt* I didn't do anything?!"

Karl and Karl- I'm going to call dsmp!Karl, Jacob, and ksqww!Karl, Karl. Before all the time travel stuff, they immediately make a book club. They just talk and talk and talk about everything and nothing and especially their crushes/fiancés. A bit nervous but they open up quickly to one another. After the Fiancés fight, Jacob is a little confused and concerned that Karl is dating two people, one of which looks like the guy who blew him up, but he understands that they come from a different time/place and is generally respectful of it. Karl is really concerned with how much Jacob seems to be forgetting, will his own memory get that bad? Karl does his best to peice together the story of who Jacob is, was, and what happened to him.

Overall, ksqww is looking at cannon like, "uh, do you wanna talk about anything? Or maybe put the sword down and stop screaming/crying at me?"

28 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#2

Chapters: 36/? Fandom: Real Person Fiction, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Karlnapity - Relationship, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Mason/Karl Jacobs/Jack Kenoff Characters: Karl Jacobs, Mason (tftsmp), Jack Kenoff, Sheriff Sherman Thompson, John John (tftsmp), Percy (TFTSMP), William (tftsmp), Crops (tftsmp), George (tftsmp), The Priest (tftsmp), Michael (tftsmp) Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst, up to date for now, ask to tag, i don't know what to tag really, Mentions of alcohol, this is mostly fluff with some angst sprinkled in, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Web Series: Tales from the SMP Series: Part 8 of ksqwildwest Summary:

Okay, hopefully, this will be the place where I post all the shorts. If I can get it working. If I can, this is a collection of shorts from my tumblr blog, ksqwildwest. They take place all over the time line so have fun reading!

-------

For all of you unaware, I've posted both the shorts and the main stories on my ao3! Here's a link to the shorts, everything is in a series so you'll have no trouble finding the rest.

38 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just heard the news. Technoblade will be missed by all of us.

May Technoblade never die by living through our hearts and memories.

Blood for the Blood God.

43 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[gwyns]

you can hurt, too. your pain isn't a burden" what series is that? <3

why, i'm so glad you asked, anon! i hope you're ready for a somewhat ramble filled post

short answer: it's the briar sisters trilogy by the lovely carly h. mannon. there's currently two books out, with the third slated for release in january!

long, fangirl inspired answer: it's one of my favorite series ever. like, no joke

i read the first book earlier this year before the second released, devoured it, cried during it and it healed some part of me. then, the sequel released and i, again, devoured it, cried during it and it healed another part of me

i have never related more to characters than i do nicole and misha, but especially nicole. i've seen many people over the years talk about how much they relate to nesta and that's why she's their favorite character ever. i finally get that now with nicole, not that i can't relate to nesta (i do, very much), but it's different here because nicole feels and sees and expresses things exactly the way i do. it's such a comfort to find yourself in a character like this

i'll try to keep it short but i wanted to showcase some of the quotes that made me full on bawl during my read because, that's me

i can't explain to you how many times i've kept myself together simply because i felt like if i didn't, i'd never be the same again. i wouldn't know how to put myself back together, to feel some semblance of the person i was before

this seems like such a simple thing, especially since we've seen many characters in sjm's books feel unworthy, but to have it put in this perspective? it made me feel less alone. i do feel unworthy, but in a way i don't see many people talk about openly. i'm not even worthy of being seen as an option for love, not even a flitting thought through someone's head. it feels silly typing it out but... this meant a lot to me

and here's the quote you inquired about. reading this genuinely did something to me... i wish someone had said this to me many years ago. i don't want to get into my upbringing or anything but there have been many times where i've kept my hurt quiet so i wouldn't burden my parents. it's a very exhausting way to live

again, i don't want to get too into my personal life but for those who do know, somewhat, this... hit too hard. too close. it's still a lingering fear of mine i have to try and combat. in fact, i'm doing it right now and only mildly succeeding

and to end my too long list of quotes, here's some misha ones (please excuse how different this screenshot looks, i had to take it on my computer instead of my phone, like the previous ones). another constant fear of mine, being too much to handle and making the person i love most in the world hate and resent me for it. to become a burden to him, too. it's a terrible feeling and i wouldn't wish it on anyone lol

i'm going to shut up now but genuinely if you've been looking for something to help scratch that acotar itch while waiting for book news, this series is the closest thing i've found to it. it has fairytale elements, namely snow white and sleeping beauty, fated mates, dislike to lovers trope, betrayal, an interesting world and lore just... please read them. and, you know, tag me in any and all posts because i have brainrot

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What would you think if Chloe and Audrey heard rumours about the way they were going to be portrayed in Astruc’s new movie, so they went back to Paris in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the movie from being completed? Then an evilized villain (maybe a wishmaker-like villain or maybe even a villain that's unrelated to the butterfly miraculous) caused Chloe and Zoe to switch bodies somehow, and nobody fully understands what's going on, so Zoe (in Chloe's body) is taken by Audrey back to New York, despite Zoe desperately trying to explain things. But Chloe enters a fugue state (heavily due to trauma caused by the neglect of her parents) and genuinely thinks she's Zoe, and is even able to recall many of the things Zoe did due to being in Zoe's body. The class thinks “Zoe's” change in behavior is due to the psychological effects of method acting, since “Zoe” is playing Chloe in Astruc's new movie, but they gradually convince “Zoe” to let them help her relearn how to be “herself” again.

Zoe is not able to gain access to Chloe's memories while in Chloe's body, because unlike Chloe, Zoe knows she's in the wrong body. In New York, Zoe is trying to get back to Paris, but when she gets there, “Zoe” thinks she’s there to try to hurt Marinette. Eventually, after listening to “Chloe”, Marinette starts to suspect that “Chloe” might be telling the truth, so she decides that she must test “Chloe” and “Zoe”. She fakes being in danger to see how they react. “Zoe” reacts slightly faster than “Chloe”, so Marinette comes to the conclusion that “Chloe” is lying and that “Chloe” has an evil and manipulative plan. Marinette thinks that “Chloe” must have picked up a few tricks from Lila, because she thinks no version of Chloe could possibly react faster than Zoe when it comes to protecting her. So Audrey takes “Zoe” back to New York again to “correct” her after “Zoe” fails to convince anyone of the truth.

10 years later, “Zoe” gets seriously injured after fighting a villain when Ladybug isn’t around, which causes “Zoe” to not have long to live. Then Ladybug accidentally stumbles upon the truth about “Zoe” while trying to help “Zoe” using magical powers. Ladybug decides that the moral thing to do is to switch Chloe and Zoe back to their original bodies. Once Zoe gets her body back, she blames Chloe for her impending death and for leaving her with 10 years of loneliness, while Chloe got off scot-free. When Lila gets defeated, Zoe steals the Butterfly Miraculous to get her hands on Ladybug and Catnoir’s miraculouses, hoping to “make things right”. Zoe gets defeated by the heroes (including Chloe, who has gotten her memories back) and Ladybug manages to cure Zoe’s injuries.

Oh, hey, I've heard of this anon! You message this to random miraculous blogs, right? Never actually read the post before, but I'd heard the general gist. Because you keep asking people, I'm assuming you want critique on this idea so here we go!

Gonna be frank, there's so many plot holes in this idea that you'd have to do some serious rewriting to make it work. Like the akuma body swapping Chloe and Zoe? Why are they the only ones effected? If they're not, then why are they the only ones who aren't reversed? Do LB and CN just think no one got hit? Miraculous doesn't have super consistent lore, but the lore around akumas is one of the most consistent bits and that makes this idea near impossible to pull off. I certainly wouldn't buy it as presented here.

Zoe not being able to convince anyone for 10 years? That's also a stretch. If she maintains enough of herself to know that she's Zoe, then she should be able to prove that she's Zoe. I have a hard time believing that no one would listen to her when magic is so common in this world. That's on the level of Lila's lies for how OOC it makes characters like Rose, Adrien, and Luka. Zoe doesn't even need to be in Paris to make her case. She has access to the internet and could even go snail mail. Marinette's test idea especially doesn't work for me. Reacting slightly faster is such poor logic. The fact that they both reacted should raise more questions, not settle them and Marinette is clever. Surely she could come up with a better test than that?

If Chloe thinks that she's really Zoe, then how does Marinette learn the truth? If you're sticking with the "Ladybug must have a lucky charm tied to the villain of the day to fix things", then how are you going to both reset the bodies AND justify Zoe remaining deathly injured? How is she deathly injured, but also capable of stealing the butterfly? Shouldn't she die long before that or at least be too weak to do it?

The 10 years of loneliness thing is going to be a hard sell, too. Zoe has been in Paris for like a minute and made a bunch of friends. You're telling me that she couldn't manage the same thing back in the USA? She lives in NYC, one of the biggest cities in the world! She should be able to make some friends. Plus, if she was that determined to get her body back, why did she wait 10 years? She would be out of school, into university, and possibly even graduated by then. Why didn't she go back to Paris and plead her case as soon as she hit 18? You need to massively shorten that time gap to make this work. I'd say a year at the most.