#IF I WIN THE LOTTERY YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN

[pardonmydelays]

listening to 96,000 is not enough i actually need to win the lottery-

[narumi-gens]

https://www.tumblr.com/narumi-gens/743137015078551552/just-learned-that-nicotine-constricts-blood?source=share

ik this is for different fandom but this post just made me bigger believer of impotent hiromi :3 chainsmoker AND can't get his dick hard?? sign me the fuck up

angst, smoking, minors/ageless/blank blogs dni

instead of being a funny situation that you'll be telling your friends about for years to come, nicotine-induced impotence!higuruma is one big downer unfortunately. his smoking is definitely tied to the stress of his job and how burnt out he feels by it and the system, all of which bleeds into his personal life and it's hard to know if he can't get it up bc of the smoking or bc of his depression (or some larger medical condition that he's too unmotivated to see a doctor about).

he's tried to give up smoking, but all it takes is one long 14-hour day (of which there are many) to have him crawling into bed beside you in the early hours of the morning smelling like stale cigarettes. you don't ever press him about it, knowing that ultimately the decision to quit needs to be his and his alone.

but no matter how much you assure him that you understand how hard it is to give up an addiction, he can't help but let the cynicism that's begun to fester inside of him lash out.

"you want me to quit, don't you?" he asks unprompted over dinner. it's the first night in a while that he's been off work early enough that you can actually share dinner together and you suggested going out to the restaurant around the corner -- one that has an ashtray at every table.

"yes, I wish you would quit," you answer, glancing at the cigarette perched between his index and middle fingers. "but I wish for a lot of things that are out of my control. I wish it would stop raining so much. I wish we could win the lottery. you'll quit when you're ready and I'll be there to help you."

the sincerity in your eyes is too much for him and he takes a long drag from his cigarette. your sincerity is wasted on a world as corrupt and unjust as this one.

it's wasted on a man like him.

"really? you don't miss getting fucked?" he continues, unable to quell the urge to keep pushing you.

"hiromi!" you snap, looking around to make sure that no one heard him. thankfully the restaurant is busy enough that no one is paying you any attention.

"are you embarrassed that your partner can't get it up? you keep saying it doesn't bother you." in fact, you've said it on many occasions, but always in soft reassurances whispered into his ear as you hold him close from behind. you've never said it with as much derision as he says it now.

"I'm embarrassed about discussing our sex life in public," you hiss angrily. you then close your eyes and take a deep breath, paying no mind to higuruma's secondhand smoke that fills the space between you.

when you meet his gaze again, he can see the slight sheen to your eyes. it seems like he's finally pushed you far enough.

"I can't keep having this same fight over and over again, hiromi," you tell him, your shoulders sagging under the weight of your resignation. "I tell you that I don't mind the long hours or the smoking or the intimacy issues or this self-destructive spiral that you're in and you continue to doubt me at every turn."

you pause to let out a heavy sigh, and when you next speak, your voice breaks.

"I love you. why can't you just let me?"

it's a question he doesn't know the answer to. it's one that he refuses to have the answer to.

all he can do is bring his cigarette to his lips and take another long inhale.

[kitsune-oji]

I was hoping if you'd write a version of "There's No Guarantee You will be Different" for Mammon?

There's No Guarantee You will be Different

Mc who has been hurt a lot in the past (betrayed, lied to, used) even by those that promised otherwise and were nice at first and struggles to trust others because of it. Not understanding why someone would actually like/love them or not believing them, being scared of getting hurt again and again like in the past.

With pleasure!! I had hoped you'd request this with Mammon actually, hehe 💙

Characters: Mammon

Other: Barbatos+Beel

-> feel free to request this with other obey me characters too

Gn! Mc (you/yours)

Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort-y

"You keep saying you love me, you keep promising that you will never leave, that you'll never hurt me... How do you know that? There's no guarantee. In the past, I've trusted those who told me all that and in the end, they ended up breaking all their promises anyway. Please, don't promise me things you can't keep. Even if you think you can keep them now, you don't know how it will be in the future. Maybe you'll get sick of me too, just like everyone else. I love you too but... I'm just scared. I'm sorry."

Mammon

"Wha- no no, I... Ya really think I would hurt you? Nah, then you wouldna have told me this... There's no guarantee you say? Well, I'll prove it then. Just ya wait and see, I won't ever stop loving you and I'll make sure ya feel it too. So don't go chickening out, ya got it?"

Mammon is the type of guy to see this as a challenge but it works out well that way

You worry that he'll get sick of you? He's gonna stay by your side and cling to you until YOU get sick of HIM, just you wait!!

He can't see himself ever stop loving you. After all, he's never been so smitten with someone before and you're so amazing that even his brothers all want your attention. How can you not see that? It makes his head hurt trying to think about that

Whenever Mammon gets paid or wins a lottery or has a good day at the casino (for once), you know he's going to want to treat you. Be it gifts or going out to eat together, nothing is too expensive to him when it comes to you

When he's as broke as always though, you can expect him to try and do the same just differently. Like making you his famous peanut butter sandwich or trying to craft something cute or planning a date night full of watching your favorite movies/series or bringing out to show you something really pretty (like a secret place looking out to the sea where you can see the night sky twinkling with stars and reflecting on the water)

Mammon is your guardian demon, everyone already knows that. Now he wants to make sure You know everything he does for you though. Where he is usually too embarrassed to admit it, he tries to make it as obvious as possible

No more standing behind you and taking care of things when you're not there anymore. Mammon steps in right away, proudly declaring that anyone who messes with HIS human is gonna get it

Holding you close to him, holding your hand or kissing you where you're comfy while others are watching is sort of strange to him at first but he wants to show you that he's not embarrassed by you, that he's instead proud and wants everyone to know he landed with such an amazing person like you

Everytime you need some comfort, Mammon is right there. He'd usually joke about having you pay for his services to play over how flustered he is but after your talk, he doesn't want you to think he Actually thinks it's a chore to comfort you. Because it's not and he is glad you come to him when you're feeling bad so even if he struggles saying so outright, Mammon won't try to make it seem otherwise anymore

Basically, Mammon tries to be more honest with his feelings for you instead of deflecting out of fear he'd get hurt. It's hard but he's making a genuine effort and it shows

[see-arcane]

This made me realise that Mina uses "my __" a lot (my Jonathan, my beloved husband, my dear one) compared to him doing so no wonder she'd be not pleased if someone tried to snatch him away

The thing about Jonathan and Mina is that they are both very much more than the standard 'in love' with each other that you'll see in a lot of Mandatory Love Interests in media. They're not just in love.

They're in crush.

They're in infatuation.

They're in 'my beloved is all that matters and dear God I don't know how I got lucky enough to win the romance lottery to convince them I was worthy, but I will spend every second of every day trying to earn that love.'

The main difference lays somewhere in--sigh along with me--the gender politics of it all. Because the thing is, even if we barely squint at the time period (and, sadly, even at our modern relationship pitfalls), Mina is very, very aware that, by partner standards, she is the one who got the 'luckier' pull. Specifically because Stoker wrote Jonathan as the rule-breaking, love worshipping, refusing-to-other or abandon champion of a Prince Charming out of the whole cast; and possibly out of most male romantic leads in the era's literature, Period.

Meanwhile, despite Mina being very much her own breakthrough of early feminism and interesting traits--again, sighing over the New Woman commentary, but still--when we look past the unique/strong/smart character facets, we really see a lot of the Classic Darling Female Love Interest formula at her core. She is sweet and caring and loving and loved.

As all good non-hag non-femme fatale characters were at the time. You can't throw a rock in Victorian and earlier lit without hitting a similarly winsome young lady. They pop up like charming weeds.

It's Jonathan Harker who stands apart. Jonathan Harker who loves unconditionally, who does not conform to classic masculine heroism, who would fight God and the Devil to hold his beloved above all harm, who would damn himself, who would kill and die to keep his beloved safe and happy. Who would--gasp!--rather be equal with his partner, even preferring to let her take the lead!

Which was un-fucking-heard of at the time. Even if she/Stoker weren't really caught up on what New Women actually stood for, I'd bet money that Mina knew exactly how rare a prize like Mr. Harker was in a sea of brutes and cheats and general misogynistic louts looking for a housemaid they could imprison with a wedding band and belittle on a daily basis before they go out to meet mistresses 1-3.

Mina is not an idiot. Jonathan is not either, but I think he is blessedly naïve enough to think there was anyone else in the world who would champion Mina as much as he does, as much as she deserves. She's Mina, for crying out loud! An angel! A goddess in and of herself! Who wouldn't adore her as he does? And to Van Helsing and the Suitor Squad's credit, they do come close, risking what they do...

But they do make that murder oath.

And for that, Mina is grateful. She did ask for it.

But though she never writes it, maybe only rarely dares to even think it--such a blasphemous, selfish thought!--she is doubly grateful that Jonathan never swore with them. Proof positive, that. Somewhere in her, a secret proud voice whispers:

Look, Mina Harker née Murray. Look at the paragon among lovers you have tricked into loving you and being your knight. You have wed Eros himself, lucky Psyche that you are. He does not even realize what a treasure he is. The one treasure that matters. The one which evil powers have tried so hard to steal away. Do not let them, Mina. Let them have gold and magic and your own blood if they must, but never, ever him.

So yes.

All this in mind, it is very little wonder that she enjoys referring to Jonathan as my husband, my love, my darling. My, my, my, mine, mine, mine. Hearing and saying it is a reassurance that she has not woken up from this sweet dream. Just as I'm sure Jonathan saying the same--or else repeating Mina's name like his own prayer--reassures him. They are real, they are in love, they are each other's.

And so when someone like Miss Helen Penelosa comes along and Mina catches wind of her plans for Jonathan, I can't not see her loading that revolver.

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 12

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Ellie... I'm in love!" Roberta says while dramatically falling on my bed.

"What?" I chuckle.

"Mason. I'm in love with him."

"Roberta, you've known each other for just a few weeks."

"Enough to know that he is the one, Eleanor."

"That good was your date yesterday?"

"So so good! We talked for hours about everything and anything, ate the loveliest food, and then... Eleanor, what happened next... That was the best sex of my entire life. The best!"

"Ok" I laugh.

"Like, the way he made me feel... Dear God. Before, during and after. I've never felt this with anyone else."

"Nevertheless, you should take it slow."

"I know, I know. But ugh. I am so happy!" she says, smiling from ear to ear. She does look happy. Very happy. "What about you and Declan? Did something finally happen?"

"We kissed."

"No!" she screams, getting up from the bed. "I need all the details. Now."

"It was just a kiss. Well, a few. And when things started to get a bit more interesting, we were interrupted by my uncle Jaime."

"What? He caught you?"

"No, no. I hid Declan in the bathroom."

"You... Ok, I'm gonna need you to start from the beginning."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"Semi finals, girls. How are we feeling?"

"I'm shitting myself" Roberta says.

"Same" I reply. I think I have never been this nervous about a game in my entire life. Not even when both them and the girls played the Euros finals. 

"It is the toughest game of the tournament so far, but I'm confident these boys can win. You'll see" my uncle Jamie says, giving both Roberta and I an encouraging smile.

"Is it always going to be like this?" Roberta whispers while my uncle is busy talking with some members of the FA. "Like, am I going to feel this thing on my stomach every time he plays a big game?"

"You probably will, yeah" I chuckle. "The wag life."

"I don't see most of the wags being this worried about their games, to be honest. Their outfits and making sure their makeup looks good seems more likely."

"Roberta!"

"As if you didn't think the same" she winks.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"I think I'm going to be sick" Roberta says, grabbing my arm and squeezing it.

"Make it two."

We've made it to the penalties, and I can feel the ghosts from the Euros final everywhere around us. Thankfully, Declan got subbed during the extra time and he won't have to take one. But Mason does, and let's be honest... It isn't his forte.

"Ellie, he is going first!" Roberta says, squeezing my arm even tighter. "I can't watch, I can't."

"He's scoring, look at how confident he looks" my uncle says, grabbing my free hand. 

"He always looks like that."

"Ellie..." Roberta says, hiding her face on my shoulder as Mason takes a few steps back. And then...

"See? I told you!" my uncle screams.

"He scored? Ellie, he scored!"

"He did!"

"I am so relieved" she sighs, finally letting go of my arm. Or whatever is left of it.

"I thought you were a Rashford's fan" my uncle Jaime says, arching a brow.

"It's... I... They are going again!" Roberta says, pointing at the pitch.

"You two are hiding things from me" he says, giving us a suspicious look before focusing on the penalties again.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"They all looked so gutted... Poor guys" my uncle says.

They always say penalties are a lottery, and they aren't wrong. It wasn't until the 7th one that England missed, and all our hopes of getting to the final disappeared.

When we walk into the changing room, the silence we are met with is something I have never witnessed before. They all are devastated. 

"Thank you for coming, your Royal Highness" Southgate says.

"I... I don't know what to say. Everything seems so... Pointless right now. I think we should leave" I say, already turning around and bumping into someone. Declan.

"Eleanor" he whispers, his eyes red from crying. But he doesn't meet mine. He is looking at anything but me.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper back. It is taking everything on me to not throw my arms around his neck and hug him, tell him everything is going to be ok. Instead, I just lift my hand, wanting to give his arm an encouraging squeeze. But before I can do it, I hear David clearing his throat behind me, disapproving my movement.

"If you'll excuse me" Declan says before walking away, passing next to me as if I didn't exist.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"He was so... Cold. He didn't meet my eyes, not once. And since the first moment we met, he's never been afraid to do it."

"He was devastated, Eleanor. It is normal" Roberta says.

"Yeah, I guess it is" I sigh. After my short visit to the changing room, they told me that we could wait for them with their families and friends, that the mood would probably be a bit better with them. 

Some of the players have already arrived, a few chuckles and laughs from their kids being heard here and there. And Roberta and I have already had a little chat with Mrs. Rice and Mrs. Mount, Mason's mum definitely knowing about what his son has been doing lately. Declan's mum doesn't seem to know a thing, tho.

After they left, I spotted Lilith, who was giving me a murderous look. She definitely knows something is going on between me and Declan.

"Roberta!" I said when she waved back at her, making her roll her eyes before turning her back at us.

"What? She was looking at us. The polite thing is to say hello" she shrugged.

A few minutes after that, the doors of the room open again and most players walk in, Mason and Declan among them. Mason goes to hug his mum and dad, and Declan...

"What the fuck?" Roberta whispers.

The moment Declan walks in, Lilith is in front of him, hugging him. And he hugs her back. He hugs her back and very tightly, burying his head on her neck while his whole body starts shaking. He is crying. He os crying on her shoulder, looking for her comfort. 

"I... I have to go."

"Eleanor, wait."

"No, I... I have to go" I say, running towards the door, already feeling like I can't breathe.

"Ma'am" David says behind me. "Ma'am, where are you going?"

"Outside. I need to be outside, I..."

"This way" he says, grabbing me by the arm. "Take deep breaths."

"Yes" I say, trying to do as he says. But when we make it to one of the corridors that lead outside the stadium, we are met by a crowd. They are talking very loud, and I can feel the walls around me suddenly being closer and closer.

"David..." I whisper, tears starting to fall down my cheeks.

"It's ok. You are ok. Just breathe, Eleanor."

"I can't, David. I..." 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"Easy there."

"Uncle Jaime?" I murmur, my head pounding.

"You are back at the hotel. You are ok" he says.

"What... What happened?"

"Looks like you had a panic attack and fainted."

"What?" I say, trying to open my eyes. Why is it so bright? "What time is it?"

"11 a.m. You've been sleeping for the past twelve hours."

"Really?"

"Yep. You seemed to be exhausted. Are you hungry?"

"I actually am, yes" I say, slowly sitting up on my bed.

"I'll call for breakfast, they had everything ready in case you woke up. And speaking of calling..." he says, giving me my phone. "Someone named Declan has been calling and texting you like crazy, asking if you are ok."

"Oh."

"Is he who I think he is?" my uncle asks.

"Maybe?"

"So you girls were flirting with players, uh? Best friends with best friends" he laughs.

"Wait, do you know..."

"About Roberta and Mount? Yeah, I know. She was with his family when I went to find her after you fainted."

"Already meeting the family" I chuckle.

"That's Roberta. And I better go get that breakfast, leave you alone so you can call him."

"I don't want to talk to him."

"Why? What happened? He seems to be really worried about you."

"His ex can comfort him. Again" I say, laying down again and hiding under the covers, not being able to contain my tears.

"Oh, Eleanor" I hear my uncle say, giving my arm a squeeze before he leaves. 

[avee-wavee]

Reasons why you should stay alive

1. We would miss you. 2. It's not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There's so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don't let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you've battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won't regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you've always wanted to do? What about the things you've planned, but never got around to doing? You can't do them when you're dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that's still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won't be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You'll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You're preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You're gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you'll never hear their voice again... 19. You'll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you'll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it's for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don't even know you and I love you. 57. I don't even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won't be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU'LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it's up to you to find out what it is. 65. You've changed somebody's life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that's perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody's life.

[astrronomemes]

GOOD WILL HUNTING (1997): STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 1997 film, Good Will Hunting. change & alter as needed.

"That kid used to beat the shit out of me in kindergarten."

"We just seen the guy fifteen minutes ago at the ballgame! If we were gonna fight him, we should've fought him then. But we got snacks now."

"This is a Harvard bar, huh? ...I thought there'd be equations and shit on the walls."

"I've been sitting over there for forty-five minutes waiting for you to come and talk to me."

"Well, I've got to go. Got to wake up early and spend some more money on my overpriced education."

"I've spoken to the judge, and he's agreed to release you under my supervision."

"You'd be better off shoving that cigarette up your ass. It'd probably be healthier for you."

"I think you're one step away from cutting your fucking ear off."

"You're just a kid. You don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about."

"If I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him — life's work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel."

"You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anyone that much."

"I look at you, and I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid."

"I teach this shit. I didn't say I know how to do it."

"Sorry, guys. I've got to go see about a girl."

"I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into you."

"It's actually important that I learn this. It's really important."

"[Name], come to [place] with me. I want you to come to [place] with me."

"You're afraid of me. You're afraid that I won't love you back, and you know what? I'm afraid, too, but fuck it, I want to give it a shot!"

"Help me?! What the fuck?! What, I got a fucking sign on my back that says 'save me'?! Do I look like I need that?!"

"Most people never get to see how brilliant they can be. They don't find teachers that believe in them. They get convinced they're stupid."

"If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a fucking beating!"

"Stop jerking off in my mother's room!"

"You know, if you're going to jerk off, why don't you just do it at home with a moist towel?"

"Tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up, and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit. And that's all right. That's fine."

"You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket, and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fucking anything to have what you got."

"You're angry at me for being successful. For being what you could have been."

"Look at me, son, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"You do what's in your heart, son. You'll be fine."

[what-if-nct]

hiiii today's reminder is i listened to beatbox (the album not just the song I'm not a sociopath) today and honestly. it's a shame that dream's title tracks are the worst songs in the album. this isn't always the case, i mean hello future and mfal but those might be the only exceptions. and i know they're super popular now and a lots more people are listening to the entire albums but it's just SUCH a shame. like wayv gets good title tracks that you'll love instantly and great b sides. 127 gets… let's call them attention-grabbing title tracks that grow on you and great b sides. dream gets the worst of both, just sorta mediocre title tracks that you don't immediately fall in love with in the first listen but also you're not particularly liking them more as you listen to them more. candy had the nostalgia element, but their last few title tracks just haven't stood out to me musically and it's a damn shame, for the quality of their b sides. like better than gold is still a solid favourite of mine. irreplaceable, walk you home, 123. hell all of the b sides off hot sauce and glitch mode are SO good. just… what a shame

Hii, You know what I have only listened istj once then never again, it's not bad it's just not really second listenable. Beatbox definitely was an against my will kind of song. I only intentionally listened to it like twice. But I did really like Glitch mode like it's a vibe definitely was replayed. I also did really like Hot Sauce and Hello future. But I think the last dream title track I loved loved was Ridin, oh damn that was a while ago. But Ridin is definitely one of my favorite dream title track. Wayv definitely wins the lottery with title tracks cause they have never disappointed. SM drops the ball alot with Wayv but their songs are always a masterpiece. 127, there's only been like two missed for me that's 2baddies and Superhuman. I know a lot of people like superhuman and its wild it's beside 2baddies. To be fair 2baddies only loses me at the chorus. But I actually dislike superhuman more than 2baddies I know I know. But I'm actually upset that's the song they promoted in the US. It didn't sound like 127. It sounded like supershineexo and I just couldn't vibe with it. I like NCTs unique sound cause it's still versatile but very them. Like favorite I like it I don't love it cause to me it sounds similar to exo. Like Fact Check just from the chorus oh That's 127. I think dream feels like they have an idea of their sound but is still figuring the details. Wayv pretty much has a specific sound, and 127 has there's. Dream the structure is there but it's not solid they still have to find their exact sound. Their concept was figured out but as they grow up that concept has to as well. I don't think anyone wants to see 25 to 28 year old men singing wheels on the bus. 21 to 24 is already too far.

Also I just saw a commercial for the movie Priscilla, and I didn't feel any need to watch the Elvis movie but this one actually looks really good and I'd rather see Priscilla's point a view. On the podcast Just Trish with Trisha Paytas when she said I don't care about men's stories I felt that. I don't like movies with male leads all my favorite movies are female led like Clueless, Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, Sabrina the teenage witch , oh I love sex and the city. I just prefer female driven movies and shows. I literally only watch modern family for Gloria, Lily, Alex and Hayley. Oh also Cam. Love Cam. The exception is Will & Grace but I'm really just there for Grace, Karen and Jack. Sorry that was random but that thought happened while I was replying to your ask.

[1eos]

The sweet sweet relief of never having to see the words "featuring redacted" ever again.... I don't even know what to do with myself this is so good. Anyway this is an excuse to ask you which persona game would you recommend to start with? I haven't played any of them but I know I'll love them but I'm not sure to start at the very first game, ty ♡

we might be free from barking...this is monumental. like i literally said may the music industry reject him when he gets out and it might happen. i need to start using my psychic powers to win the lottery.

anyways as for persona do NOT start at the very first game it will make u hate everything. since you know you'll like it/accustomed to jrpgs i'd say start with persona 4 golden. it's the most persona persona game to me but it takes abt an hour to get into gameplay so i don't recommend it for ppl new to jrps LOL. from 4 i say play 3 (fes is my favorite version bc of the epilogue but portable is also good) then p5 royal! and THEN once you're done with those try persona 1 then persona 2 but be warned persona 1 is fucking brutal. a slog to get thru but the story bangs. persona 2 actually has continuity with the first one so you'll benefit from playing that afterwards!

[pardonmydelays]

IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 17 DAYS!

song for today:

it's silly when we get into these crazy hypotheticals you really want some bread? then go ahead create a set of goals and cross 'em off the list as you pursue ‘em and with those ninety-six i know precisely what i'm doin'

[insomniacomplex]

Once more another year has passed by, and as much as it feels like I'm in a time warp with life watching everything zoom by, I can still have a moment where you pop up somewhere... Some way... And everything just freezes. Time. Emotion. Desire. Ambition. Everything just comes to a screeching halt. I can't tell if I'm looking back at my accident scene that's frozen in mid accident or what because the desire is still there for you. Do I think you'll pop up out of nowhere one day, no. Would it be nice? It would be better than winning the lottery for me because there's absolutely no price tag I could associate with being able to hold you in my arms again. I know you're happy, and truthfully, I'm so happy that out of all my prayers I've ever thrown out, that was the one that got answered. You deserve your happiness, especially with everything that you went through. Am I selfish that I'm not the one giving that to you, you're damn right I am. I will have to admit that I found my way on your profile by accident, and by accident because I didn't think our conversation was still there. I'm happy to see that you're able to genuinely smile now. Truthfully, I can say that you did it.... You found what you were looking for. Gorgeous, I am so happy for you that you found it. And once this realization hit me, it was almost as if a burden lifted. It was no longer my calling in life to be the person that I needed to be... for you, because you have that person now. After rereading the last conversation we had, it all but assured me that I did not hold anything back and tried my best to get my closure... It's just taken me 5 years later to finally accept that closure. And today it finally clicked as to why everything with you hit me so hard... You were in my life for just about 10 years, it all makes so much sense to me now.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get over losing you. I can accept it yes, but getting over it is something completely different.

*sigh* I'm afraid this might actually be the last one gorgeous. The fire that I so desperately kept alive, guarded, and treasured is all but embers now. There is no flame anymore, but it would only need some kindling to get it going again.

My door and heart will never be closed off to you. Thank you for some of the greatest times I've ever gotten to experience with another person. May you sleep peacefully and have a joy with happiness that is unrivaled.

Until we find each other again, I will always miss you more than you know and more than words could ever describe...

Love you Gorgeous, Happy Birthday

7/3/2023 @12:18a

[possessionisamyth]

I mean that's like a general issue with shippers in this fandom i've noticed.

No romance in a series such as Resident Evil doesn't stop people from shipping and enjoying various dynamics. Because Ashley will never return again, that means i shouldn't ship her with Leon for example? The amount of times Leon/Ada shippers have shoved that into my face just to prove their "superiority" when that screams nothing but insecurity to me. Since day one when RE4make was released, they've been nothing but obnoxious with their mental gymnastics.

The hyperfixation on insisting that there's a CANON ship in this franchise is just wild to me considering that things have been so different for a while now. It's as if they're heading into a different direction with this IP or something holy shit??

Sorry for the vent lol

It's alright. I honestly think you might have a better experience if you start using the block button for the slightest annoyances like I do. It's an immediate way to curate your experience. More often than not when anon hate is sent en masse it tends to actually be just 2 or 3 people going from inbox to inbox, and religiously checking blogs to see if their asks were posted so they can keep coming back to be obnoxious. Yes, you can also block anons.

I haven't gotten a single aeon or cleon shipper being a little shit to me since I got here, and that's likely because I slap the block button so damn fast for like, an example, someone deciding to shit on ada and it reads like misogyny? Blocked. My life is more peaceful. I know for a fact people have blocked me for shitting on Piers at the very least. Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings. You'll never meet them in real life, and in the extremely million dollar lottery winning level of chance that you do, you can throw hands. They probably can't fight.

[stop-it-that-hurts]

you're the first person I think of when I see some tiktok collection of poetry about what it means to be human, and although I haven't called and I haven't sent letters and I hardly text like I used to, you're never out of my mind. every other word out of my mouth is spoken as if I were talking to you, and the other half is about you. I talk about you like we got coffee together this morning, like we slept under the same roof and stayed up late watching the same movie.

i've always thought the phrase "like it was just yesterday" was corny, but I speak about trashing on awful hulu originals and running from a van of teenage boys as if you'll be there to tell the story again with me when I get home.

and of course I miss you.

there are days when I see the room next to mine with the door cracked open and the light off, and I shut it as if to shut out the noise and let you sleep. there are days when I look up flights to florida, just to see what it would cost to show up for a few nights and take up space at that café you told me about for a few hours. when the tickets are particularly cheap, I have trouble sleeping.

this is the season I miss you most, though. This was our walking season, our cider mill season, our spirit Halloween season, our make a mess in the kitchen fucking up some poor recipe season.

I've become a sappy believer, over time, that love is all around. I've come to convince myself that the phrase "I miss my best friend" has been said countless times exactly like this, dragging a chain behind it, an ache like no other. but I simultaneously believe that as much love as there is to go around, there will never be another person like you in my life, there has never been two people quite like us. even if that's selfish to think. I won't ever meet another person that clicks the same way, cut from the same cloth like we are. it's hard not to think it, when I spend my time at work thoughtfully listening to the songs you added to a playlist named after me and I already know just what lyric made you choose it. I hope you do the same, I hope you listen to the shitty song I used to hear on the radio in elementary school that I added to your playlist, because I thought of it for the first time in years, and the first person I could apply the lyrics to was you. I dig to find some part of you in everything I find in my path. every song has a lyric that can fit. I still catch myself looking to see your reaction when someone says something ridiculous.

so I'm at work, and I'm endlessly thinking of you. I'm thinking about a rainy, muddy cider mill, and I'm thinking about spirit halloween and about how badly we could fuck up the red velvet cheesecake recipe I've had bookmarked for over a year now, and I'm thinking about an exotic pet store with a lemur and that weird ride at epcot that only you seemed to know about. I'm thinking about a creek behind the sugar maple trees at our old school and about finding a kitten outside on a walk and about the mackinac island and how much I know you'll love it there, because I have to take you there someday. I feel like I'm inches away from some miracle that will fix the distance, but I don't know what it is or how long it'll be.

I play the lottery every chance I get and I know that if I ever win my entire savings fund meant for a car will be put into a trip to florida so I can tell you in person. I'm disillusioned, but this really can't be all there is. this really can't be how life will go on.

[anotherdayblue]

Usually, I stay alone on Friday nights at home, so... I put the music loud and sang out of tune. Today, my aunt is here and I forgot this detail. I'm singing about an hour ago in my room, very out of tune.

I think maybe she's not sleeping

[sunnysunoo]

Surprise Date | Sunghoon

pairing: Sunghoon x Reader !

warnings: 1 or 2 swear words

word count: 1.3k words

genre: fluff :)

"You ready to go?" Sunghoon stood by the door, watching as you grab your small bag from the hook on the wall beside.

"Yeah." You responded, excited for today. "Why can't you just tell me where we're going? So that I make sure I'm wearing the appropriate attire." He did tell you to wear something that's for the cold season, but that wasn't really a hint since it is the cold season.

"If I told you, then it wouldn't be a fun surprise anymore." He frowned, opening the door with one hand while interlocking yours on the other. "And don't worry, you'll be fine with what you're wearing now."

It was your's and Sunghoon's date. The first date was about three months ago, the day after you two confessed to each other. You took him out to a cute dog cafe where you guys lasted there for almost five hours. All the little puppies played with the both of you, but most of them were more into Sunghoon.

Today is your second date, but Sunghoon wanted to surprise you. You tried to ask him for hints, but he was clever enough to not fall for your charms. You end up not getting anything from him, so you had to wait it out.

"Isn't this too early for a date?" You questioned, looking at your wristwatch that says a big seven-thirty on it. "I'm not complaining. It's just that we usually have our dates past morning."

"I know, but trust me. The surprise date is going to be amazing."

____________________________

You should've worn thicker clothes.

"You took me to the ice rink?" We entered the empty area, looking as no one was around and the rink was completely empty too. "You reserved the entire rink? For us?"

Your voice echoed around the dome-like structure. It was eight in the morning so you understood how he managed to reserve the whole thing this early since the rink opens at ten.

"I told you, my parents manage this place." Talk about rich kids. "But we're only allowed to be here for three hours."

"Why didn't you tell me that we're going skating today? I would've just brought us tickets to that one nearby skating rink near your house."

"That would've been a good option too, but you're too cute so people might stare at you." Sunghoon said. You could feel yourself smiling like an idiot in secret. Your boyfriend is such a dork, you hate (love) him for that.

"How did you convince your parents to rent you the whole thing anyway? This must've taken you a long time to ask them." I went to grab my skates, before sitting down on a bench to put them on. "And you didn't have to this for me, Sunghoon. A simple dinner date would've sufficed."

"I told them that I wanted to surprise you and this was the best option since we did want to go skating together, and a simple dinner isn't enough to express my feelings for you." A small blush crept up your face, making you hide it with the palm of your hands. Sunghoon chuckled at how adorable you looked. Your sweater paws too. "Are you embarrassed? There's literally no one here."

"Just because there's no one here, doesn't mean that you should go around saying your stupid pick-up lines." Your mind was fuzzy and your heart started to beat rapidly. This man is a threat, stay away at all costs because he is mine and only mine. Periodt.

"I'll head out first." Sunghoon already started to glide down the ice with elegance. You were astonished by his amazing figure skating skills. Not everyone has a boyfriend who's not only a good singer and dancer, but was also a figure skater. This is way better than winning a lottery.

"I wanna see the spinning stunts that you do again!" You exclaimed, and he did your favorite stunt which was a triple axel. You would never get tired of seeing him twirl around the ice without a single mistake. It's very satisfying if you ask me.

"I wish I could skate as graceful as you." You waddled to the entrance of the rink, feeling a bit nervous. It's not your first time skating, but you're not used to having a slippery surface. There's always that one thought in the back of your head, thinking that you were gonna tragically cause an injury.

"Come here. I'll help you skate." Sunghoon said. You see, you were never a figure skater. Much less, you suck at skating. You kinda doubted yourself one time because of how Sunghoon would think of you. You don't skate, you don't dance or sing. The only thing you happened to be good at is math and science questions (which you still are grateful for).

You mumbled a small "okay.", and took small strides to the ice. You quickly held onto the railings, praying that you wouldn't fall in front of him. "Will I die if I fall?"

He started to laugh at how adorable you were with your little doubts. You glared at him, not finding the situation funny. "This isn't funny, Sunghoon! If I did fall, you're paying for my hospital fees!"

"You won't." He reassured, gliding himself towards you. "Now, take my hands. We'll do this slowly. Trust me."

You knew that he was being sincere with you as his voice was laced with complete reassurance. Slowly, you detached one of your hands from the railings and intertwined it with his. He started to skate backward, bringing you towards the center of the rink. You felt bad for him because he had to teach you how to skate so you could skate with him.

"Sorry for not being a good skater." You brought your head low, watching as your feet were still, while he was doing all the work. "When we come back, I promise that I can learn how to skate for you."

"You don't have to do that for me." Sunghoon's free hand grabbed ahold of your waist, bringing you closer to him. "Teaching you how to skate makes me feel really happy already."

You looked up at him to see him staring back at you. You both stood in silence in the middle of the cold rink and looked into each other's eyes. His eyes sparkle really brightly. Especially when he's with you.

"Thanks for the date." You smiled at him, "I'm enjoying this even though you're teaching me how to skate."

"Of course." His eyes slightly disappeared as his lips twitched a smile back. "Though, you did look cute when you were thinking that you were gonna die."

"Can we not talk about that? I'm over that—I have gotten over my fears over the ice."

"Oh, so you want me to let go of you now?" He teased you as he removed his hands from your waist, skating a distance away from you. "If you say so."

"No! Please, no. I was just joking. Sunghoon you little shit!" You tried to skate after him, but you looked like you were rather trying not to fall from his point of view. "Fuck you!"

"Language! Watch what's coming out of your mouth you."

"Oh please, you're speaking as if you've never sworn at Sunoo for spilling your drink all over the dining table once. I clearly remember all the things that you said that time."

"It's because he spilled his drink all over! How can you not get mad at him?"

"He apologized a lot that day do you know that?"

"Yeah, but still! I'm not swearing now."

"I bet you'll be swearing later after this."

"Okay fine. I'm just gonna slide away now-"

"Sunghoon don't you dare walk out of this rink without me!"

After moments of teasing and chasing (and clinging onto Sunghoon in case if he ever ditched you for real), you can declare that this surprise date tops your first date. If this is what you get for your first surprise date, you couldn’t hold back your excitement for what’s to come for your next dates. 

[tacom-literatureu-blog]

"If I win the lottery you'll never see me again."

"Damn we only jokin, stay broke then."

Grian and Wilbur