#IT JUST FEELS LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR ME LIKE STUDIO TRIGGER AND BUMP OF CHICKEN OP?????????? DUNMESHI NATION. WE WON. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

timextoxhajima · 3 years

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Nevertheless: Wishful Thinking [2]

[completed] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

synopsis: why would the college flirt want anything to do with the innocent heartbreaker? a [somewhat] nevertheless au featuring tbz's eric son young jae

genre [per chapter]: SMUT *this series is a smut series so* please don't read if you're uncomfy. if you're underaged and you still wanna read, i'm not stopping you. i don't care because that's your responsibility to know what's fiction and what's not.

word count: 3.1k, half of which is definitely filth

taglist: @from-xero @taeyongandfree @ten-gift @louvyves @sweetutopia @yyyereum @jung-breadshop

{this is a work of fiction}

it's one of those days that you look at a person and wonder "how did i get into this mess?"

eric's got his back plastered to the lockers, leg perched and his heel hooked onto one of the padlocks as he talks to his friends. he glances about and catches your gaze, the innocent glimmer in his eyes suddenly replaced with a predatorial glare.

everytime he sees you, he sees an opportunity - an opportunity to ruin the only other heartbreaker in school.

which he's already done once.

the sight of him cues the chills down your spine; flashes from some nights before zipping through your head like a fast-forwarded video.

eric brushes his hair out of his eyes, exposing his forehead. with a tiny smirk and his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, he looks down at his phone.

as his fingers fly across the screen and he hits send, yours vibrates in your pocket.

eric son: one night not enough?

you look back up and see him send one more message before shoving it into his pocket.

another message dings across your screen.

eric son: all you have to do is ask, princess

you look up from your phone screen to see eric moving off in his group of friends, giving you one last wink at that before he turns around.

the warmth emitting from your phone heats up in your palm when you tighten your grip around it, frustrated with yourself and frustrated with how easily he's got you wrapped around his finger.

"whew!" a sharp sigh exclaims from behind you, and you immediately attempt to erase the agitation off your face. turning to face your new company, you slide your phone back into your pocket.

"where were you?"

yujeong huffs and rests her weight on her hips, stretching to a side while yawning. "dealing with some girls sobbing over jung wooseok graduating. what about you?"

"what do you mean 'what about me'?" you turn to frown at her, arms crossing over your chest. "I've been here the entire time waiting for you."

"you think i didn't know where you disappeared off to? at wooseok's party?"

your heart stops.

she begins walking, and you follow quietly.

"i know you went home without telling me."

oh.

your lips part to heave a sigh of relief, but you stop yourself and feign surprise instead. "oh!"

"'oh', she says," yujeong rolls her eyes. "you could've at least told me."

yes, because i'd want you to know that i rejected wooseok AND got ruined by eric sohn in the same night.

"sorry," you suck your lips in between your teeth and cling to her arm. "i wasn't feeling well."

"pity," yujeong sniffles. "someone found cum stains on the floor outside wooseok's garage. you should've seen it for yourself."

"huh," you blink, refusing to turn to her. "what were we expecting from wooseok's graduation party?"

"point taken," yujeong shrugs, and you slide off her to comb through your ponytail. "anyway, someone told me you finally got down to talking to eric last night at the party. how did that go?"

"um," the name triggers a fight-or-flight response in you, but you can't have yujeong see right through that.

"yeah, i mean... if you're the 'innocent heartbreaker' and he's the 'vicious' one, then that must've been one hell of a conversation!"

"huh!" with your brows raised, you look at her with wide, surprised eyes. "who the hell coined that?"

"i'on't know, like, everybody?" yujeong frowns, finally turning into the cafeteria. "besides, you never really liked him... nor spoken to him. so it must've been a surprise to anyone to see you talking to him."

the crowd in the cafeteria stirs to life as more people follow in behind you and yujeong, the lunch crowd beginning to create a ruckus in the enclosed space.

"we just... you know, bumped into each other."

"I've always wondered how you guys never bumped into each other before the party," yujeong yawns again, pulling you aside to a table and sitting the both of you down. "i didn't think your dance crew was so well separated."

"we deal with different genres," you sit and rest your forearms on the table. "no reason to mix our teams."

"anyway, i heard new leadership positions are out today so keep a lookout for that."

"oh?" you turn to her. "what about you? did you get anything in baseball?"

"no shit, sherlock. you're looking at the new captain."

"oh!" with a bright squeal, you stand and throw your arms around her. "I'm so proud of you!"

"don't be sappy," yujeong uses her finger to push your forehead away from her. "but thanks."

the stale air of the practice room guts you first, since you associate nothing else with this place except sweat tears and a couple of ankle twists.

the air conditioner whirs to life when you turn on the main control switch of the studio.

usually, you weren't the first one here and so you were more than surprised when you were. placing your bag down and fiddling with the sound system, you plug it into your phone turn up the jazz music since it's supposed to calm you down. the thought of the night before was far too aggressive and violent for you to stomach.

it's okay, you think. the rest will come soon and practise will ensue.

it's alright.

then the door clicks and you look up in the mirror to see eric in the reflection.

the thought zips through your neurons: something's wrong.

he shouldn't be here.

you look back down at your phone and feel your insides twitch at the sight of him. "this isn't your training slot."

"and you don't need to be here," eric smirks, drawing a frown across your face as you look up.

"what do you mean?"

eric smiles at you in the mirror, closing the door and locking it behind him.

now you finally turn around, watching as he strides to you with his hands in his back pockets.

"i cancelled practice."

"what do you mean you cancelled practice?"

"well," then he pauses just about a foot away from you, waves of uneasiness already flooding into your private space as you lean back against the countertop. "you're looking at the new captain."

you scoff, shaking your head in disapproval.

"so the first move you made after becoming captain was to cancel training? very mature of you," with a huff and a smirk of disbelief, you pull out your phone, the jazz music abruptly stopping as you reach down for your bag.

"aren't you gonna congratulate me?"

you glare at him through your lashes as you lift your bag, but he's looking at you with wide, puppy eyes instead.

"congratulations," the wry, insincere remark draws a smile across his face.

"where are you going?"

"home. where else?" you swing your bag over your shoulder and take a step around him.

but of course, he stops you by grabbing your arm and holding you back to the countertop where you were previously leaning on. you yank your arm out of his grip but he finds your waist and hoists you up onto the countertop, the cold surface brushing up your skirt.

goosebumps erupt all over your exposed rear, including the skin on your arms for him to see.

"dance practice is cancelled but that doesn't mean you can't stay and accompany me."

"wait-" the whimper hums through you when his hands find your rear under the material, cupping your flesh in his hot palms. dipping his lips into your jaw, he begins planting soft kisses, deliberately making each and every one of them audible by your ears.

huffing and panting out of frustration, you squirm under him, unable to move due to the pressure he's exerting on your hips.

"it's only the two of us, princess," he whispers into your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand and your lips pull apart in a wince. "and what are you doing... wearing a skirt to dance practice?"

his hands are everywhere.

he's running them up and down your calves and thighs and gently pulling them further and further apart so he can slot himself between your knees.

on top of that, you were staring at your reflections in the mirror across the studio.

"i have an extra pair of leggings in my bag, for gods' sake."

eric chuckles devilishly, reeling backwards to look you in the eye.

"and what were you waiting for before you'd change into them?"

"for training to start?"

eric blinks, running his fingers through his hair again. resting his hands on the countertop's edge by your thighs, he leans in closer to you, eyes slightly hooded and searching yours as if looking for something.

"i heard you rejected wooseok."

the name drives a puncture through a lung, and the guilt surges through you again when you remember whose house it was that you let eric ruin you outside.

"that's none of your business."

a sly smirk stretches his lips apart, and he lifts his finger to pick at the buttons on your shirt. annoyance brings your hand up to his mischief and you grab his hand, holding it in place as you attempt to close your legs.

but he grabs your wrist with his free hand and pries it off his own, taking both your hands and sliding them over the rim of his joggers.

"for someone who's been dubbed the 'innocent heartbreaker', you're kind of feisty."

then he uses your fingers like puppets and pulls apart the drawstrings, loosening the material's hold around his pelvis.

"you wanna know what i think?"

"no."

"i think..." eric throws your arms over his shoulders and pulls you in closer, chest pressed against his with his lips brushing across the arch of your ear. "this 'innocent heartbreaker' image of yours? fake."

he pulls away, a disgustingly innocent smile wide across his face. it makes his eyes shine, and he's got an arrogant glimmer in his pupils as he reaches for your right knee, trailing a single finger up to your inner thigh.

"i think you use it to bait people into thinking that you're just a cute, pretty little girl..."

and he stops and harshly grips your thighs to yank you forward, just enough for most of your butt to remain on the countertop but your crotch to be over the edge.

"but in reality, you're just itching for someone to put you in your place."

he hears the gulp that's forced down your throat, and his hands come up to your jaw to hold your face still.

"isn't that right, princess?"

your mouth is dry.

your lips are dry.

and you open your mouth in a bid to hurl a string of vulgarities at him for coming at your title all too daringly, only for him to drop his hand to your throat and shove his lips between yours.

the pressure around your neck forces a groan up your throat, hands flying up to his shoulders to push him away (it was an attempt).

he releases your neck, lowering his hands to fiddle with your shirt's buttons while he attaches his lips to your jaw. using his nose to tilt your head to the side, you hear him take in your scent with a prolonged inhale.

eyes stuck to the ceiling lights, you're unsure whether the lights were blinding you, or you were just seeing stars.

the cool air finally kisses and blankets your chest when the top few buttons come undone, and before you can respond to the shivers that run through your body, eric's hands slide in between your thighs again.

the sudden, sensitive contact jolts your entire body, so eric anchors you down by grabbing your neck again.

"I'm sure you don't want the school to know that the 'innocent heartbreaker' isn't so innocent now, do you?"

he scoffs at the gulp he can feel in his grip and raises both brows when he pushes your underwear off your core. your pride flushes away when he finds nothing short of what he expected.

"oh, my," his tongue flies out and darts over his canine teeth, eyes locked onto yours as he presses his thumb onto your swollen need. "oh, princess... just ask."

your thighs are aching to close, but his hips are keeping them apart.

your hands are clawing into his arm, but it seems to be fuelling his pride even more.

he leans into you again, placing careful kisses along your collar bone and your jaw whilst resting his palms flat against the countertop.

"i'll give you the chance to watch yourself, hmm?"

and with that he trails his kisses down into your chest, hands sliding from the countertop and onto your thighs to hold them apart.

riling up the cotton of your skirt, his breath hits your core first, then the uneven texture of his tongue brushes across you.

he presses a kiss to your sensitivity first, then plunges his tongue into you. a sharp groan thrums through you, shivers drawing up your spine like sinful whispers.

his hair comes tangled between your fingers, thighs hung over his shoulders as eric moans and hums into you, the vibrations driving you over some edge you had forgotten even existed.

your hips buckle and jerk when he begins flicking his tongue against you, and your blurred vision lands on your reflection in the mirror.

eric son kneeling under you, with his head between your legs.

very quickly, your attention is torn away from the reflection and back down at him when he slides two fingers into you. focusing his tongue on your nub now, he begins pumping his fingers with ease and with a smirk plastered across his face.

you don't realise the mewls and whimpers you're giving him until he breaks off from your under, standing back up and pressing his lips to yours with his fingers still playing with you.

then he pulls away, and removes his fingers, bringing them up between your noses and flips his hand, allowing your neediness to glisten under the lighting.

"enjoying this, aren't you?" and with that smile on his face, he slides his fingers into his mouth, whirling his tongue all over his skin.

the lewd sight makes you cringe and writhe before him, so eric picks you up by your rear and walks the both of you to the mirror, turning you around to face yourself in the reflection.

oh.

no.

"wait-"

"'wait'?" eric bites on his bottom lip, taking your right hand and pressing them into the mirror. "oh, princess... i can wait all day, but can you?"

the question tears through you in waves, your head turning back to the mirror and your eyes watching the fog coat around your fingers in the mirror.

his fingers are interlaced with yours, his palm over yours as he pulls his joggers off with his free hand. smirking and looking up at you, he stops to push your underwear off your core, then slides himself between your folds instead of into you.

the frustration builds up, erupting through your throat in the form of a groan mixed with a mewl, earning a sadistic chuckle from him.

he pulls your left wrist down to your lower back, keeping the other plastered to the mirror as he gently and slowly, teases you, sliding over you.

your heart and stomach are plunging with every slide he gives you, the throbbing down below driving you absolutely nuts.

it's making you tear up, and you cry out in agony as your fist clenches over your lower back.

he leans forward, careful to keep his lips in contact with your lobe as he whispers the words,

"your body's mine, princess."

and with a subtle lean-back, and one swift push, he bottoms out, burying himself entirely inside you.

your chest puffs as you suck in the harshest breath in your life, and your entire body shivers upon the fill.

"look at yourself," his husky voice is low and dangerous in your ear. you swallow your saliva, walls clenching around him as your legs begin to tremble.

he slides out, and pushes back in slowly, careful to make you live through every second and every inch of him as he does it.

'it' meaning drilling the sinful bliss through you.

so he picks up his pace every time he bottoms out, ensuring that your legs wouldn't give out under you.

but soon, the lewd noises of slapping and muffled moaning drowns out your thoughts, your eyes now tearing as you look down at the wooden flooring. multiple whimpers and mewls try to escape your throat but you suck your lips in between your teeth, every thrust jerking you forward.

"good girl," eric reminds you, taking the hand that was previously plastered to the mirror and gathering both your wrists on your lower back.

it forces you to straighten up, back arched away from his chest as he holds you close to the mirror, the bottom half of your ponytail messy over your unbuttoned top.

in the mirror, your skirt was blocking the view where he was fucking all senses out from you.

it was the messy, whored-out look on your face; the marks on your collarbone and the bouncing of your hair with your arms held behind you that made your knees weak.

eric leans over into your neck, locking eyes with you through the reflection as he kisses your jaw.

by some miracle, his hip buckles at an angle, and something explodes inside you. his free arm circles your waist in a bid to keep you upright atop your knees failing you, thighs flexing and trembling against his.

your body nearly goes limp under his hold, and he pulls out just in time to release on the flesh of your rear.

he huffs, sighing and blinking away his own climax. eric releases your wrists and pulls your underwear over your soreness now, still holding onto your waist to keep you from falling over.

eric smiles at you in the mirror when he catches your tired gaze, brushing the little strands of hair out of your eyes.

his palm runs from your waist and up your chest, gently pushing your head back onto his shoulder. nose delving into your jaw again, he side-eyes you in the mirror, pressing his lips onto your neck.

"wear your hair up more often, you look more..."

"fuckable."

he takes your jaw and turns it to face him now, eyes glued to yours as he scans your face.

"oh, by the way... congratulations on becoming vice-captain."

#nevertheless: wishful thinking #eric smut #the boyz smut #tbz smut #eric sohn smut #eric scenarios #eric imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #eric x reader #the boyz x reader #eric x reader smut #eric sohn scenarios #eric sohn imagines

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cuddlepilefics · 3 years

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Sick at Work

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Changbin

Caregivers: 2basco

Prompt @sicktember

No one's POV.:

Changbin had caught a small cold a few days ago. It wasn't really that much of a bother to him, mostly just a slightly runny nose along with a faint scratchiness in his throat. He had made sure to take hot showers every day and to stay hydrated. However, as days passed, the rapper couldn't help but feel progressively worse. When he woke up this morning, his head felt heavy with congestion and his hearing was starting to sound muffled. His head was aching from the pressure but he forced himself out of bed to join his group for their schedule. As he was slowly becoming more awake, he noticed the irritated itch in his nose that became harder to ignore by the minute. Feeling a bit chilled, Changbin decided to put on one of his thickest hoodies. Right when he pulled it over his head, the tickle in his nose became unbearable. Unable to see with clothing covering his face, he pitched forwards, sneezing. Bumping his had on the door of his closet in the process, Changbin barely managed to suppress a curse before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Getting ready, Changbin's morning routine was frequently interrupted by his urge to sneeze. He had barely been awake for half an hour, yet he had already sneezed more than he had done in the past few days. Simply running his sleeve under his nose was enough to set him off again and the rapper was starting to dread going to work today. He didn't feel sick enough to stay at the dorm but he was so annoyingly sneezy, which would be really bothering, considering that 3racha wanted to work on some stuff in the studio and recording was certainly not going to go smoothly with him sneezing every few seconds. When Changbin was ready to head out, he met Chan in the kitchen, making coffee. Changbin got himself a cup too, hoping it would clear the fog in his head a bit. "How are you feeling today?", Chan asked, taking in his dongsaeng's tired face. Changbin shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee before replying: "Let's just put it this way, you're gonna get tired of saying 'bless you' reeeaal fast." – "That bad?", the leader frowned, eyebrows knitting together in concern. The younger shook his head with a sniffle, turning aside to sneeze immediately after. "Ndo, jus' really sneezy", the rapper forced out, scrubbing at his reddening nose with the cuff of his sleeve, only triggering another sneeze. Raising his eyebrow at Changbin, Chan questioned: "Are you sure you can work through this? You know, it's always fine to take a breather when you're sick." – "I'm sure. Don't even really feel sick. My nose is just so sensitive, it's annoying", the younger pouted, so his hyung decided to drop the topic.

Not much later, Jisung joined the two and they headed to the studio together. Changbin shivered lightly on the way there as the weather had gotten colder recently and the wind was picking up. His poor nose was already raw from him constantly scrubbing at it but it seemed like the only way to satisfy the annoying tickle. By the time they made it to the studio, he had already gone through an entire travel pack of tissues and had to go to the restroom to stuff his pockets with toilet paper. "You alright? You've taken a while", Chan asked worriedly when Changbin finally joined them. The truth was, Changbin had had a bad sneezing fit while at the restroom. Since he didn't want his friends to witness that, he stayed there to wait it out, blowing his nose a few times in hopes of getting rid of the congested feeling in his sinuses before washing his hands and joining them. Changbin nodded, already bringing his sleeve up to his face again, sniffling: "I-I'm fine, jus – jus' needed to h-hESSH! Huh - hEGSHU! Just needed to sneeze and blow by ndose." The other two blessed him and nodded in understanding before starting to work on some lyrics.

While Chan and Jisung seemed to be having a good time, really getting some lyrics down, Changbin was struggling. He couldn't focus on anything really. To him it seemed like his head was filled with cotton, making it impossible to grasp a solid thought. It also didn't help that he kept turning away to sneeze, which resulted in him being distracted from what he was doing again. The only thing that he remained aware of the entire time was his itchy nose and how painfully raw the skin around it had become. Chan had offered him a few more times to go home and rest but Changbin kept resisting. He wasn't that sick, right? Soon they had enough lyrics to start recording and the leader started to set up the microphone, while Changbin was beyond frustrated with himself. Neither had he been able to come up with any useful lyrics, nor would he be able to really record anything because his voice sounded so pathetically stuffy. Jisung would probably be the one recording the lines, while Chan went straight to editing them. Changbin was left to give the younger advice but other than that, all he could do was beat himself up for not really contributing anything to their work. That didn't mean he'd go home though.

Jisung was just about to start recording the first line, when Changbin held up his hand, signaling for him to wait. The younger looked at him curiously, watching his hyung's eyes flutter shut, mouth hanging slightly agape. "I-I nh-heed to sneeze", Changbin panted, breath hitching uncontrollably. "Yeah, I think the whole world knows that by now", Jisung teased. Eyes watering, the older twisted to the side roughly: "hESH! KGSH! N'gsCH! *sniff* sorry." – "Bless you", Chan sighed, studying his dongsaeng's face to figure out if it was safe for Jisung to start recording now. They went ahead with their recording but it was a slow process, frequently interrupted by Changbin's sneezes. Though it was disturbing their work, Chan and Jisung were mainly just worried for their friend. He couldn't possibly feel alright while sneezing that much. His nose was bright pink by now and his face looked blank and tired, almost as though he was asleep in his chair but his eyes were open, indicating that the rapper was indeed awake. Though his eyes were open, they looked distant, holding a sickly gloss. Changbin didn't look well at all but he had refused to go home earlier.

Changbin himself was mainly frustrated. Sure, he felt miserable but overall, he was frustrated with himself. He wasn't contributing anything to their work as a group, instead holding his friends back with his frequent sniffles. Going home didn't seem like an option though. He wasn't that sick and certainly wouldn't milk a cold just to get out of work. "Bin, seriously, just go home. You can't tell me you feel well because your sneezing is contradicting that", Chan sighed, turning away from his laptop. Jisung agreed: "You look awful and tired. Please get some rest." Changbin bit his lip, feeling guilty for holding his friends back. He was convinced they were annoyed at him at this point and he couldn't blame them but it still hurt him that they were trying to get rid of him. "Yah! Stop bossing me around!", he snapped, his eyes going unfocused immediately after before he turned to the side to sneeze. The other two were taken aback at their friend's sudden outburst. His face showed clear anger, the watery look in his eyes the only thing that kept him from being intimidating. He had been rather harsh when telling them off earlier too. Whenever they'd tell him to take a break, his demeanor would suddenly turn cold.

"Alright, I won't be telling you what to do anymore. You're an adult, decide for yourself. Make yourself miserable, I don't care", Chan stated coldly. He and Jisung then continued working, barely paying attention to Changbin. "Aish, we've been working for a while already. We should really eat something, shouldn't we?", the leader contemplated. He and Jisung then started a longer discussion about food, Changbin however was barely listening to them. He was trying to hold back his tears, his hyung's words having stung more than he wanted to admit. He couldn't even tell why his emotions were so all over the place today. The next thing he knew was Jisung leaving the studio. "Where's he going?", he muttered confused, squinting after the younger with watering eyes. Keeping his face clear of any emotion, Chan turned to him and replied: "If you had listened, you'd know that Sungie's getting us snacks." Mainly, Chan wanted to be alone with his dongsaneg for a moment, hoping the boy would crack and admit what was going on. He also had a plan in case that didn't work. Going on his phone, he texted Jisung instructions for when he returned. He wanted the younger to sneak up to Changbin from behind and feel his forehead. Him running a fever would be the only logical explanation for his temper Chan could give.

Heading out, Jisung went to the closest convenient store and raided the snack aisle. He felt his phone buzz and read Chan's message, nodding to himself as he had already had a similar suspicion. Changbin wasn't usually that easy to anger, so it would only make sense. Remembering his hyung's irritated pink nose, Jisung also decided to pick up some tissues. He hoped they'd be a bit gentler on Changbin's raw skin than the toilet paper he had been using over the past few hours. Jisung was quick to check out but tried to take his time walking back. Maybe Chan was talking Changbin into going home and he didn't want to interrupt and have their friend pull his guards back up. What he didn't know was that Chan was very far from talking Changbin into anything. He had given his dongsaeng the chance to tell him what was wrong multiple times already and now waited for Changbin to take the opportunity and speak up. That didn't happen though, so the Aussie really relied on Jisung and the back-up to his plan to work out. He heard the door open quietly but Changbin was too out of it to really pay attention to anything. To top that off, his hearing had become even more muffled from the congestion in his head, so he didn't hear Jisung slowly walking up behind him. Then there was suddenly a light, cool touch on his forehead and Changbin couldn't help but sigh in relief as it soothed the headache he had had all day. "Your skin's as hot as your temper", Jisung commented before removing his hand and plopping into his seat. Changbin didn't react to that at all, not even able to process what his dongsaeng had said.

When there was no reaction, Chan turned his chair to him and gave the younger a soft look, frowning: "You heard Jisung? You're running a fever." – "Oh", was all Changbin had to say to that. "Come on, mate. I can understand that you're frustrated but we're not bossing you around to be mean. We're genuinely worried 'bout you and your temperature is only more reason for us to take you home", the leader said with a comforting smile. That was what finally cracked Changbin. Soon the first tear rolled, then the next. Sniffling quietly, he pulled his sleeve over his hand to dry them but brushed against his nose in the process. "KGSH! h-hGSHHU! *sniff*" Trying to clean himself up, he pulled out some more crumpled toilet paper but Jisung was quick to hand him a tissue. "You're really not feeling yourself today, huh? Is that why you were so worked up?", Chan asked calmly, resting his hand on Changbin's shoulder. The younger nodded, rasping: "I'b sorry. It was so frustrati'g because I couldn't focus a'd was just so useless. Didn't thigk it was that bad." – "It's alright, but why don't you try talking to us next time?", Jisung smiled, brushing the older's hair back and holding his water bottle up to Changbin's forehead, since he had obviously enjoyed the cool touch earlier. While Changbin closed his eyes and relaxed, Chan was already shutting his laptop off and packing their things up. When everything was ready for them to leave, the leader patted Changbin's arm, humming: "Let's get you home. I bet a hot shower and an early bedtime sound nice right now." – "Really dice", the younger agreed, allowing Chan and Jisung to pull him up and take him home.

#fanfic #fluff #stray kids #skz #sickfic #fanfiction #sicktember2021 #snz #comfort #3racha #sick

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blu-joons · 3 years

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Telling Him You’re Pregnant ~ Min Yoongi

You could hear him shout your name as he walked out of his studio, running down the stairs, he spotted you sat out on the sofa with a blanket wrapped tightly around your body. He paused for a moment, watching as you slowly turned around to look at him.

“Hey,” you smiled, covering much of your face with the material of the blanket so he couldn’t see you.

He slowly walked around the sofa to sit down beside you, resting his hand against your foot. Straight away, he could tell you’d been crying, your cheeks were still slightly red, and your eyes still had the remnants of your tears lingering.

“Did you get done what you wanted to?” You asked, trying to stop him from asking the question you could see threatening on his lips.

“Yeah, I got it all done,” he hummed. As much as he didn’t want to bring it up, the panic in his heart stopped him. “Has something happened whilst I was working? Because you look like you’ve been crying for some reason Y/N.”

Your head shook, biting down hard on your lip to stop yourself from getting overwhelmed again, feeling the rest he had over your feet tighten once again.

“You can’t lie to me, I know you too well to believe that nothing has happened,” he sighed, desperately pleading with you to open up to him, “is it something I’m going to be annoyed about or upset by?”

“I don’t know, it depends which way you look at it.”

You only confused him further, watching as his eyebrows knitted together trying to figure out what was going on. He was entirely lost at what could have triggered your tears, or how in the matter of a couple of hours something could have gone so wrong for you.

“Regardless of what it is, I’m not going to be angry or upset, I just want to know what it is so that I can help you,” he assured you.

You knew Yoongi wasn’t going to drop things, so you threw the blanket off your body and made your way over to the dressing table. You pulled the top drawer open, grabbing what you wanted before closing the drawer back up. His eyes watched you closely as you approached him, placing the problem into his hands.

“You’re pregnant,” he whispered, taking a look at the pregnancy test you’d passed to him. “Did you think I’d be upset about this?” He asked, encouraging you to sit back beside him. “I’m thrilled that you’re pregnant, I’d never be mad,” he spoke, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You quickly wiped underneath your eye as a tear rolled down the other cheek, “I’m scared to be pregnant in the world we live in Yoongi, this isn’t how I wanted pregnancy to be.”

“The pandemic?” He asked, as your head nodded, flinching just at the mention of the word.

His arm wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. “It’s such a scary time, and I’m going to have to give birth in hospital.”

“But you’ll be safe,” he reminded you, kissing gently against the side of your head, “and I’ll be there with you the entire time, there’s nothing for you to worry about, we’ll be cautious.”

Your heart pounded just thinking about the next few months ahead of you, the uncertainty of every day that came with it. “I thought things would be better by now, but they’re not. I don’t want to bring a baby into such a crazy world, how can I do it.”

“You’ll be okay,” he continued to assure you, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away your tears, “I’m scared too, but it’ll all work out.”

“I’m supposed to be happy right now, but instead I’m freaking out. This wasn’t how I imagined finding out I was pregnant to turn out.” Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle, if he were honest, neither could he. He was scared too; everyone was scared of the current ways of the world. But he knew whatever the circumstances, the two of you would be alright, so long as you looked after yourselves and the new life you were creating.

“It’s going to be different, and it’s something new for everyone, but all the people that are going to help us along the way know exactly what they’re doing. Thousands of couples are in our position too, I’m sure there’s so many other mums who don’t know what’s coming either.”

“Why did I say yes to sex over the lockdown, this is all your fault.”

His head shook, watching as a light giggle came from you. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but it takes two people to make a baby, so you’re definitely at fault too. But just think about what will come at the end of it, we’ll have our own child.”

The subject of kids had been broached a few times by both of you, whilst you weren’t desperate for it to happen straight away, if it did happen, neither of you would be disappointed. You knew your relationship was in a place to think hard about the future and settling down together.

“There’s nothing to be scared off, we can’t let the future define everything.”

“I know, but I just wish somehow there was some sort of sign of what to expect, something to let us know what would happen.”

“I wish that could happen too,” he agreed, “but we can’t not enjoy pregnancy because of all of this, we just have to make the most of our situation,” he encouraged, resting his hand over your tummy.

It was the first time his hand had rested there since he discovered what was there, already his mind began to think about all the changes your body would undertake in the next few months.

“I can’t believe we’re actually having a baby,” he laughed, “looking at you now, no one would know, but in a month or so you’re going to have such a beautiful bump, and we’ll be able to feel our baby kicking, and we can talk to them too, how magical is that to think about?”

“It’s alright for you, I’ve got to worry about morning sickness, sleepless nights, all the pain, you just get to sit back and relax.”

His head shook immediately, “if you think for a second, I’m going to let you go through any of this alone, you’re very wrong indeed. We’re going to be a team throughout all of this.”

“I just wish we could meet them now; I don’t want to go through all the worries and fears, I just want to have our baby with us.”

You knew the world had always been unpredictable, but never to the extent it currently was. The two of you had a long road to endure, and day by day was a new adventure of uncertainty and discovery, but so long as you had each other, you were confident that whatever path the world took, the two of you would be just fine.

“We’ve only got a few months, it’ll fly by, and before we know it, we’ll be parents.”

“We’ll be mum and dad, how crazy is that!”

---

Masterlist

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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

Note

Can you do a one-shot where the reader was born in 1996 and she’s the daughter of Nikki Sixx and Brandi Brandt and is the bassist and songwriter of Wallows and is best friends with her bandmates Dylan Minnette, Braeden Lemasters, and Cole Preston and she helps 5sos write songs for the album Calm and starts dating Ashton and the fans go nuts (in the good way) with shipping?

Wallowing

ashton Irwin x wallows!reader / masterlist

warnings; references to sex, swearing, threats

“Come in babe.” You opened the door, inviting your boyfriend Ashton into your flat. He had been having a hard day at the studio, and had asked if it was alright if he came over. Of course it was, but he had got a warning prior to his arrival, that they would not be alone, and that if he wanted to clear his head, it was certainly not the right place.

“Fuck you, you’re supposed to be on my side man!” At the sound of Dylan, yelling at whom you supposed to be Cole, you pinched the bridge of your nose, squeezing your eyes shut as you welcomed your partner into your home sweet home. Out of all days, they had to be playing COD in your apartment today.

“Sorry bout that.” A light grimace filled your face, but instead of giving you criticism, Ashton simply laughed, following you through the apartment, as you tried to slowly pass behind your band mates who were occupying your living room.

“Not so fast young Sixx, get your well endowed ass back here.” A sigh fell from your mouth as you rolled your eyes at Braeden, pausing your movements as he turned to lean against the back of your couch to peer over at you. “We need to have a conversation little lady.”

Groaning, you threw your head back, smiling a small apology towards Ash. “We were going to go to my room, I’d rather just you guys play my PS4 without needing to interact with me face to face.”

“Would you rather he FaceTime you whilst you’re getting down and dirty, or stand there like a kid’s doll and allow him to pull at your arm?” Dylan mumbled, as you crossed your arms, Ash greeting your band mates as you moved towards the tv, reaching for the side button and turning it off.

“Y/n what the hell?” Cole half screamed, breaking loose as he was close to finally beating Minette and killing his gamer character. His hands flailed as he expected an answer, raising in the air as he held the remote.

“I could ask you the same thing Preston, so what’s the schtick that’s making you keep me here, in my own apartment?” He gulped as you enquired at him, raising your brow, as you leaned back into your partner who stood awkwardly behind you like a supporting shadow.

“Congrats on the album Irwin, it’s great to see our own band member aiding your band. CALM is sick, and she makes me feel the same, just in a different manner.”

“Stop being a salty little bitch would you?” You asked, smacking him on the upside of the back of his head. He rutted his head back, clasping the behind of his scalp with his palm, firmly turning back to cast an icy glare towards you.

This was the normal behaviour around here, you all enjoyed getting under each other’s skin. It was a sign of true friendship, that whilst sometimes still triggering some real annoyance, that made your bond of being band mates that much deeper.

They were doing the same thing to you now, speaking prolifically showering your boyfriend in compliments, to side swab you with cockblockery. In all honesty, whenever Lydia or another girl was on the premises, you returned the favour, though that did not your pulsating frustration decrease at all.

“I’m going to assume there’s a problem here. Are you sure now is a good time for me to be here?” Ash asked reassuringly, his gentle touch applying a loving presence upon your shoulder, making you smile despite the situation that was running through the discourse of your veins

You craved him, to feel his body atop, or under, or however else against your own. It was infuriating to endure how your band mates dragged their greeting to him out, all you wanted was to discard his and your own clothing, leaving it as a jumble of forgotten material on the floor whilst the pair of you were caught up in mess upon the mattress, limbs inclined to coil around each arch, and breaths long overdue and escaping into the air.

“It’s a good time for you overall pal, considering that your sales are sky high, taller than this one that is practically trying to hump your arm. No problems with your presence, except the fact that it’s turning little Brandi’s baby’s hormones into overdrive.” Braeden spoke, earning a guttural growl out from your throat, as your nostrils flared furiously at his words.

If you didn’t get on with it, then the Red Sea of the month would cause a flood that would stain your underwear. You’d have preferred to take action before that happened. “The work isn’t just on my shoulders loser, if you want a worldwide selling album, put in some elbow grease, instead of playing stupid games.”

“I’m good, and by definition that makes you stupid, because they belong to you.” He remarked, Cole chuckling and offering him a high five.

“I could just kick you out.” You promptly supposed, as Dylan messed around with his phone, surrendering to the game, as he ran his hand to define the ruggedness of his silvery blue locks.

“Band rules say no to that.” Braeden stated. “And Ash, feel free to replace this one, we could do a switch. You’re basically ready to move in together, so we wouldn’t have to go anywhere else to have rapid fire nights.”

“Do I even want to know what that is?” Your boyfriend asked, and you, without any thought or hesitancy, shook your head. He certainly didn’t need to know about that, it was, least to say, a mess.

There would be dares, and drinks, and tattoos put in the most awkward places with that artist set that you kept very far under your bed. It was a shock that Ashton hadn’t seen the word ‘narwhale’ on the heel of your foot, or maybe he did, and decided against saying anything.

“I put up with these idiots.” Dylan sighed, though as you whipped your head around, you saw that he was not speaking directly to any of you, instead, his

“He’s on fucking insta live.” Cole realised, leaving over to get his face in the mirroring of the stream, waving a hand to the fans that spewed hearts onto the corner of the screen.

“Prick.” You called Dylan out, watching as he laughed at your lack of amusement, and poised the self proclaimed camera towards you, also catching the person beside you in the view.

“Calm.” Ashton softly spoke, sending you a small and reassuring smile, which you were defeated to not permit the same in return

“Funny pun Irwin, but shut up.” You laughed, and shook your head, him finally catching onto what he had said.

“Yes that is the incredibly talented 5SOS member Ashton Irwin. I know right, what is he doing with us?” Cole read, watching as Dylan rolled his eyes at his band member’s behaviour, wanting to get his phone back, though his attempts were lacklustre.

“Or more specifically, her?” Braeden asks, walking behind the sofa and grasping him, dragging him closer to where the phone was propped in Cole’s hand, giving the fans a clear image of his face. “Is he joining the band?” He reads from the flood of comments. “I wish, but we don’t draw that much talent.

“Speak for yourself.” You groaned, walking closer, leaning your head over Ash’s hunched shoulder, releasing an awkward smile as he raised it, gently bumping your chin with the slope of his muscle. “Rude.”

“Where are you guys? Well, we’re at y/n’s apartment. She just got back and dragged this old slugger in off the streets. How charitable.” Cole spoke, smiling up at Irwin as he lightly punched his face, already too comfortable with his hovering presence.

“Why is he there? This one makes me laugh, quick shag, ain’t that right buddy?” Braeden thoughtlessly worded, his eyes going wide in an instant as the fans quickly tended to the realisation of what he had meant. “Fuck, oops I guess.”

To say that you were furious was an understatement; you could feel an ache in your hands, wanting to tear the idiot into dismal pieces until there was nothing salvageable left to fix.

“You guess?” Dylan snickers, covering his mouth with his hand whence he saw your murderous expression conquer features. It was vastly more terrifying than any anger you had ever portrayed, and he could feel the couch moving as Braeden turned, and squirmed from the sight.

“Lemasters, imagine your head on a stick. That is going to happen, when I get my hands on you, your gonna turn cold as I strangle the living shit outta-“ Ashton grabbed you, as your arms tried to grasp and throttle your band mate, flopping in the air, intently furious at his revealing slip up.

“I think imma go.” He bolted, and as you struggled out of Ashton’s grip, you ran after him, out your front door and through the modesty of your building.

“She forgot her key.” Ashton noted, coming around and sitting with the remaining pair on the sofa. “How one of you think it’ll take for them to return?”

“As long as it takes for her to kill him.” Dylan grasps his phone back, fluttering his gaze over the comments. “They’re kinda cute together, found my new OTP. Sorry Dylan and Lydia. Oh don’t worry, that’s fine, we gotta take what we get and currently y/n’s not getting any because we have a tendency to cockblock her.”

“It’s our duty as the men of the band.” Cole spoke, a scream reverberating through from the hallway, audible to those online that were watching the two worlds merging.

“I think she got him.” Ash said, smirking lightly, as he heard your voice bellow out in rage against the male. Yep, your band was messy, but his wasn’t much different. He could certainly get used to it.

#ashton irwin x you #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fluff #ashton imagine #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin fic #ashton fanfiction #ashton fluff #ashton irwin x y/n #5sos x reader #5sos au #5sos imagines #5sos one shot #5sos imgaines #5sos imagine #5sos x you #5sos x oc #5sos fic

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madpanda75 · 3 years

Text

“Taking Chances Part 11: The Call”

We’re picking up right where we left off with Theo barging into the gallery to surprise the reader. We also find out who that special someone is that Sonny has his eye 👀

Thanks to everyone for their comments and feedback on this series! It means the world to me ❤️Also a huge thanks to @sass-and-suspenders for being my writing buddy and giving me the idea for the title.

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains an assault scene and mention of rape.

“Theo, how did you get in?” you sputtered. “You shouldn’t be here! We’re closed.”

Theo scoffed, “Please, that ditzy coworker of yours always forgets to lock the door when she leaves.” He milled around the tiny studio, picking up a handcrafted ceramic vase. “And besides you never cared before.” He set the vase down and winked.

You could tell that he was drunk. Apart from his disheveled appearance, the aroma of cheap whiskey radiated off his body and hit you like a brick wall. But there was something more, his presence filled you with a sense of foreboding. Nevertheless, you swallowed down your fear and held your ground. “That was then, this is now,” you sneered.

“Why can’t you forgive me? I made a mistake. I’m--”

“You broke us!” you interrupted. “My brother may have invited you to lunch, but I thought I made myself clear when we broke up that I never wanted to see you again.”

Theo’s face hardened. “It’s that older guy, isn’t it?” He looked you over from head to toe, like a predator studying its prey before it attacks. “Never took ya’ for a gold digger, but maybe being a starving artist all these years has made ya’ hard up for cash.”

“Rafael is twice the man you’ll ever be,” you snarled.

“You sure about that? Ya’ know you and I had some hot times together.” He arched a brow and crudely licked his lips. “Can’t deny there was some definite sexual chemistry between us.”

As he stalked towards you closer and closer, you stepped back, blindly bumping into chairs and easels until you were pushed up against the wall. You were trapped. A chill rippled down your spine and your mouth went dry, panic rising in your throat.

Theo grabbed your wrist and yanked you closer to him. The acrid smell of alcohol combined with his cologne stung your nostrils. “Let go of me.” You struggled to free yourself from Theo’s grasp, but he only tightened his hold on you.

“Don’t be like that,” he cooed in a teasing manner. “How about a kiss for old times sake?” As he leaned in closer with his lips pursed, you finally wrenched free and slapped him hard. Your hand throbbed in pain. Between Theo and Sonny, you were getting tired of smacking people for disrespecting you.

Theo cruelly laughed, completely unphased by your attack. “You stupid bitch,” he growled and backhanded you across the face. The force of his slap caused you to stumble a few steps and run into a nearby table.

In an instant, he was on top of you with a wild look in his eye. “I always get what I want,” he snarled. Theo hiked up your skirt with one hand while undoing his pants with the other. Bottles of paint toppled over in your struggle, saturating your clothes and the floor. Colors swirling together--angry reds, moody blues until they combined to a murky brown.

All of your self defense classes. All of the lectures your brother gave you about defending yourself-- hammer strike, heel palm strike. It all left your mind in that frantic, terrifying moment. Nevertheless, you fought back as hard you could, clumsily kicking and screaming.

Luckily, your foot had fantastic aim and connected straight with his groin. Hard. Theo howled in pain and grabbed his crotch, giving you a chance to escape. You scrambled out from under him and collided into Phoebe who had just come back from the coffee shop when she heard you screaming. Coffee and pastries spilled onto the floor.

Upon seeing your coworker, Theo pushed past you both and ran out of the gallery. But you could care less, you just clung to Phoebe, trembling. “Y/N? What happened? Are you alright?”

You couldn’t speak. You could hardly catch your breath, on the brink of becoming hysterical. Phoebe took your hand and led you to a nearby chair. “I’m calling 911.” She reached into her purse for her phone when she stopped. “Do you want me to call your brother?”

“No!” you said in a panic. “Can you call his partner instead?” You gave Phoebe Rollins’ cell number. “Please tell her not to tell Sonny.” She nodded and dialed the number.

While your coworker talked to Amanda, you stood up and walked around the studio. Paints, brushes, easels all covered the floor. And then you saw it. The painting you had been working on for Rafael, in a crumpled head, completely destroyed. Just like everything else in the room. In a matter of minutes, your sanctuary had become a crime scene.

*****

Sonny scaled the steps of One Hogan Place, balancing two cups of coffee in his hands. He took his familiar route, mumbling to himself. Passerbys assumed he was on bluetooth, but in reality he was deep in concentration, trying to come up with the perfect opening line. Unfortunately, the only thing he could come up with was “Hi.”

After the disastrous lunch on Sunday, Sonny couldn’t stop thinking about what Bella had said. Maybe it was time to let go and take a chance. To put himself out there. As much as he hated to admit, you were happy with Barba. Maybe it was time for him to find his own happiness.

He stood in front of Barba’s office door, taking a moment to collect himself. His heart hammered in his chest. His palms were clammy. Although he had been to Barba’s office countless times, this time was for a completely different reason.

From the moment Sonny met Carmen, he was hooked. She was beautiful, smart, and unbelievably kind. Not to mention, she knew how to handle Barba. She made him feel at ease.

He never forgot when SVU had lost a big case, a rapist had been set free on a technicality. The squad and Barba had just broken the news to the survivor. She was only 14 and yet she had lived a lifetime. He would never forget the look on her face. In a way he felt completely responsible. If he had just tried harder, then they would have caught this monster.

That day Sonny was the last one to leave Barba’s office, feeling completely dejected. He thought of his sisters and his mother and how easily any of you could be a victim. He wondered if he was even cut out for this job. How many rapists would be set free during his career? How many victims would he have to disappoint?

It was then that Carmen approached him. “Hang in there.” She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a warm smile. “They need you, Sonny. You’re one of the good guys.” In that moment, Carmen made Sonny feel safe and comforted. Something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Now all he had to do was work up the nerve to ask her out on a date. “It’s now or never, Carisi,” he thought before opening the door. There she was. The woman of his dreams, sitting at her desk, furiously typing and completely oblivious to the fact that Sonny was right in front of her.

After several seconds, he cleared his throat and shouted, “Hey you!” Carmen jumped a mile high. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare ya’.” Being a ball of nervous energy, it was not his intention to scream at the poor woman.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t paying attention.” Sonny nodded and rocked back on his heels, awkwardly standing in front of her. “Um, Mr. Barba is free, if you’d like to see him.”

“Actually. I’m here for you.” He handed over one of the cups of coffee in his hand. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Carmen graciously accepted the cup and took a sip. “I’ve been so busy working on these briefs that I haven’t had a chance to get any.”

Sonny beamed and began taking out of his pockets handfuls of assorted coffee creamers and sugar packets. “I...uh...I didn’t know how ya’ took your coffee so I got ya’ half n half, hazelnut, vanilla, soy milk, almond milk. I got sweet n’ low, regular sugar, sugar in the--”

“Thank you,” Carmen politely interrupted him and pushed all of the creamers and sugars now littering her desk off to the side. “That’s very sweet.”

Sonny turned beet red and took a sip of his coffee. Having been out of the dating game for so long, he was definitely rusty at this. “So...uh...I was just wonderin’ if maybe sometime--”

Just then Rafael burst out of his office. “Carmen, something’s come up and I have to leave. Please hold my calls and cancel all my meetings for today.” Before she could even reply, he brusquely walked past, bumping into Sonny and causing him to spill his coffee. Rafael shot daggers at him.

Sonny furrowed his brow in confusion, watching Rafael walk out the door. Although Rafael had certainly glared at him before, this time was different. If looks could kill, Sonny would be dead on the floor. “Wonder what that was about?” he mused.

Carmen shook her head. “Don’t know. But it must be bad. I hope everything’s ok.” She then noticed the spilled coffee on Sonny’s shirt and opened her drawer, pulling out a stain removing pen for clothes. “May I?” She walked over to Sonny and began to clean the coffee stain before it began to set.

Being that close to Carmen, Sonny felt weak in the knees. He lost himself in her warm brown eyes and the honeyed sweet scent of her orange blossom perfume. “Thanks,” he managed to squeak out.

“It’s no problem,” she said with a shy smile. “With the amount of coffee Mr. Barba drinks, I keep a stash of these at my desk. Just in case of an emergency.”

“So like I was saying earlier, I thought if you were free sometime that maybe you’d like to--”

Suddenly, a loud ring coming from his coat pocket cut him off. The universe was not working in his favor today. He pulled his phone out and saw Bella’s name flash across his screen. “Excuse me,” he told Carmen before answering the phone. “Hey Bella. Can I call ya’ back?”

Bella let out a sob in response and Sonny felt his stomach drop. “Bella? What’s wrong?”

“Sonny,” she managed to say through her tears. “You need to get to the precinct. Now. Something’s happened with Y/N.”

Tag List:

@glimmerglittergirl @southern-magnolia @sweetcannolicarisi @delia26 @obfuscateyummy @sass-and-suspenders @eclecticminded @thatesqcrush @katmstanton @amirightcounsellor @beltzboys2015-blog @letty-o @sonnysdoll @lyssa1385 @sweetsummertime99 @burningsorr0ws @gibbs274 @izzythefanfreak @babypink224221 @livxrafa @esparza-army @obsessionprofessional @ottosuricato @mgarner1227 @dreila03 @frenchiefoxy @tropes-and-tales @thecraziestcrayon @goodluckfindingone @scarletsoldierrr @youreverycolor @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii @imjustreallynosy @graniairish @ashley-chi @lolacolaempath @cocomel0613 @imagine-all-the-imagines @mysterioustrashadventures @that-girl-named-alex @scapricciatello @mrsrafaelbarba @zizzlekwum @katierpblogg @crowleysqueenofhell @caked-crusader @garturbo @rachelxwayne @averyhotchner @sarcastically-defensive17 @permanentlydizzy @beccabarba @infiniteoddball

#rafael barba #rafael barba fanfic #rafael barba fic #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #barba #barba fic #barba x reader #barba imagine #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi fic #sonny carisi #law and order svu fanfic #law and order svu imagine #taking chances

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jovialluminaryalpaca · 3 years

Text

True Beauty | Little by Little | Han Seojun x Kang Soojin fanfic series/one shot? Idk

Part 2 , Part 3

This is the first time, I'm posting something on Tumblr, so bear with me haha, I don't know why but I kinda would've loved to see Soojin with Han Seojun after the time leap and her redemption. It's my opinion and I'll feel absolutely grateful if y'all respect it, thank you, I hope y'all will like it.

Warnings: Slight panic attack trigger mention (not edited)

It was late in the evening and it had been an hour since Seojun left the studio for the day, he now sat on one of the stools staring at the empty glass in front of him. He didn't know why he was here but there he was, he remembered coming to this place for the first time, the night he let Jugyeong go back to Suho and after that night, he found himself coming back to this place often, whenever he needed a break or to get away from everything for a while.

He rubbed his face a little too harshly to check if he was sober enough to move and to his luck, he was just tipsy. He paid for his order and bought himself a simple soda before leaving the place. He put his mask and beanie on and kept walking as the cool wind hit him. He kept looking around to see if anyone recognised him but much to his pleasure no one did. His eyes stopped and soon did his feet when his eyes fell on a familiar figure. He blinked twice to make sure if he wasn't hallucinating.

What was she doing here?

He felt bold and decided to walk up to her. He kept walking till he stood a feet away from her. She had pamphlets in her hands and struggled as she tried to hold them steady and approached people to help people in need. She took out another pamphlet out as she felt a figure walk near her and looked up only to freeze in her place. Her words stopped in her mouth as she looked at those eyes. She was not blind to not recognize who was standing in front of her.

He expected his face to lift in a scowl as usual but it didn't. He was surprised, indeed and definitely had no words to speak. He knew that she met Jugyeong and reconciled with her but he never really bothered to know about her whereabouts. But after what he saw in front of him, he definitely didn't want to be that person who would laugh on her face and blame karma and he obviously didn't want to ack like a jerk and rub salt on her open wounds. So he didn't speak a word and just observed her as she stared right back at him.

She changed so much, he observed. Something about her was different, it wasn't like she was not the Kang Soojin he knew in his teen days, she was still her, but she looked so much better, somewhat relaxed and for some reason it felt like whatever that ate her then was not there around her now and it was very visible on her face. He shook his head wordlessly and turned around.

"Ya, Han Seojun." She called out as he stopped in his place. There was silence for a while as she took a deep breath and walked closer to him.

"I owe you an apology." She said as he blinked while his back faced her.

"Can we go somewhere where we can talk alone?" She continued hesitantly expecting him to walk away as soon as those words left her mouth but to her surprise he turned around and looked at her.

"Okay." He said and followed her.

"Thank you." Soojin said and bowed a little to the helper and sat in her chair as Seojun studied her.

He leaned forward and took a bite of the food in front of him and she gulped as she faced him finally.

"What I did back then was very foolish of me. I despise myself for stepping down to that level." She said as he listened to her.

"And I don't expect you to forgive me because I am asking you to. I know I'll always carry the guilt of hurting people who trusted me. I owe you an apology, even if what I did wasn't directed towards you." She said as she looked down and placed her palm on the table.

"I'm sorry." She finally said as he slurped his drink.

"It's alright." He said and she looked up with slightly wide eyes.

"What?" He asked as she opened her mouth to say something but closed it again.

"I didn't expect you to forgive me so easily." She said as he placed his drink on the table.

"Like you said, what you did wasn't directed towards me. If Jugyeong gave you another chance, I can do it too. Anyways, We weren't really friends in the first place, so yeah." He said as she nodded and then there was a wave of silence that surrounded them.

She felt grateful that he forgave her.

"You didn't come to Heegyeong unni's wedding?" She asked.

"Yeah, I was busy with my debut and all of that." He replied with a shrug.

"Oh." She replied as he nodded.

"So, you are an idol, now." She said as he looked and rolled his eyes slightly.

"Yes, that I am." He said.

"How does it feel to be one?" She asked.

"Stressful. But, I feel happy that I get to live my dream." He said with a small smile on his face. She smiled back and nodded.

"I thought you didn't come because of well...nevermind." She said as he looked at her and she ignored his gaze and went back to eating her food.

"Honestly, I didn't come because Jugyeong told me that she invited you." He said as she looked up.

"Well, of course, you hate me." She mumbled and to her surprise he heard it.

"I did. But, I don't think quite the same now." He said.

"Does it mean you hate me less now?" She asked as he chuckled to her surprise.

"Weren't you the one who despised me?" He asked as he raised one of his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes.

"Maybe, I was and it was because of obvious reasons." She said in a light humourous tone.

"Is that so? Can I know the obvious reasons please?" He asked as she cleared her throat and lifted her fingers to start counting and he could not help but notice how her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as she revisited those years.

"Soojin-ah" Soo ah called out as she held her friend's hand and pulled her along and made her sit on the table where all her friends were seated on. She looked around and found Cho rong eating as Hye min tried her best to control her laughter while looking at her partner and eating her food in silence, Tae hoon was asking Soo ah to eat first and take selfies later because the food might cool down and not taste the same, Jugyeong was explaining something on her phone to Suho as he fed her and then there was Seojun who looked appalled at the sight of the couples that surrounded him. He was seated right in front of her at the corner of the table and sulked as he leaned his head on the pillar next to him and waited for his food. His eyes were closed and disgust was clear on his face. It had been two months since she first ran into him on the road while distributing pamphlets for a charity event and now they were friends and dare she say best friends because it haunted her how comfortable she felt around him and how she actually liked spending time with a guy who once so full of himself. She pushed her leg forward and tapped his shoe. He got startled and opened his eyes to look around and then looked at Soojin who smiled innocently at him. He lips lifted in a scowl as he murmured something and went back to sleep as Soojin chuckled, ofcourse sleep was important.

He jolted up again and looked at her as she was looking at the menu.

"Ya Kang Soojin. When did you come?" He asked.

"A few minutes back." She replied as her eyes checked the menu out and he looked at her and couldn't help but smile as she observed the prices of the food items.

He missed her, it had been a week since they last saw each other because he was busy with recording his new album and couldn't find time to catch up with her as she was busy arranging and hosting charity events.

He cleared his throat as he saw Suho look at him and then at Soojin and went back to feeding Jugyeong as she opened her mouth wide. Seojun rolled his eyes at Suho and scrunched his nose up, he sighed as he relaxed his face and then looked at his phone and scrolled through his social media to find something interesting, his order appeared in front of him when he sat his phone aside. He thanked the waiter and dug in. Soojin just stared at with disgust as he finished the entire plate by the time her food arrived and he shrugged as he looked at her.

A smile appeared on her face before she could stop herself, she shook her head and looked at her plate, neither of them knew what was happening but the entire table looked at them start a new chapter in their own books.

Soojin sighed as she sat on her table and removed the hand that covered her forehead as she completed her work. Today was a very stressful day for her with so many events to plan but she was happy that she got to relax later as Seojun promised her a meal at her favourite restaurant and then a game night.

She switched the lights off, picked her belongings, locked the room and walked out. She smiled as she remembered how many times Seojun apologised to her for not attending the event which was arranged by her and promised to make it up to her. She didn't know how both of them got there but they did. Her younger self would've laughed on her face if she said that she would be one of Seojun's close friends one day.

To be honest, they were nothing alike, she was smart and he was well kinda dumb, she came from a very different household where she yearned for love from family and he came from a family who absolutely loved him and provided him with as much comfort as possible, she was terrible at singing and his voice was absolutely beautiful, but maybe the difference was something that made them different than the others out there, it made them unique.

She bumped into someone and her smile faltered as she looked at the person. Her heart raced in her chest and she felt terrible memories flood her head and she froze in her place. Tears blurred her vision as she looked at the person in front of her.

"Soojin?" The figure, her father asked and she heard footsteps approach them but she didn't turn around to look at who it was as her eyes were fixed on the person in front of her.

"Ya, Kang Soojin. See, I'm early..." Seojun trailed off as he noticed the presence of another figure around her.

"Get out." She said with anger in her voice as it broke in the end.

"Soojin..." Her father asked again.

"GET OUT." She screamed as both the figures around her remained still in their place, while one was in shock and the other was worried. She waited for a while for her father to leave and when she noticed that her father wasn't leaving anytime soon, she turned the other way and walked past him as Seojun looked at her and followed her outside.

"Soojin?" He called out as she kept walking.

"Soojin?" He called louder but she still didn't stop, her vision was blurry with the tears that kept running down her cheek and she kept wiping them off aggressively. He ran towards her and held her hand to stop her and she turned around to snap at the person who did that but she couldn't when she looked at who it was.

"Come with me." He said softly as he took her to his car and both of them sat inside in silence, he started the car and drove to her apartment. When they reached, she got out without saying a word to him and walked towards the elevator. He locked his car and ran behind to stop her. He was surprised how she managed to get into the elevator in the time he locked his car.

"Soo jin?" He called as he finally caught up with her in front of her apartment and she stopped in her tracks.

She didn't turn around and sniffled quietly.

"Are you alright?" He asked hesitantly. He heard no response, tears didn't stop flowing down her cheeks. His heart dropped at the sight in front of him, he didn't like watching her cry, it hurt him and he didn't understand why it did, but it did. He hesitantly walked closer to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Say something." He said and at that moment she turned around, wrapped her arms around him and broke down in his arms. He was taken aback but he caressed her back slowly to calm her down. She hicupped as he stayed still and let her let it all out.

After a very long time, she finally stopped and let her hiccupping self dettach from him feeling a little embarrassed but he didn't care about it. He held her face and brushed the remaining tears off from her face and gave her a small smile.

"I don't know who that was and what happened. But, all I'll tell is, our past never defines us, it's behind us, it's like a closed book, you are not what you were years ago and I know that after getting to know you in the time we spent together in past few months. Don't let it bother you too much. Okay? Take care." He said as she looked into his warm brown eyes wordlessly and nodded, while she did that, a warm feeling spread all over her body at the closeness of his face and the softness of the tone of his voice and her heart fluttered in her chest.

"Call me if you need anything, but for now, go rest, when you feel better give me a call and no, I didn't forget that meal, we will go grab it when you feel better. Alright?" He asked as she nodded in his palms.

"Good night." He said and smiled at her before letting her go.

"Good night." She managed to croak out as she walked towards her apartment.

She walked in and waved at him and he waved back at her and walked away. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she closed the door and leaned her back against it.

It was ironic how someone who once called her a piece of trash and despised her so much comforted her and said that what she did in the past doesn't define who she is now.

A sudden realization hit her like a truck. How was she so oblivious to it? She wondered.

She never felt comfortable around anyone in her life but in Seojun's arms, it felt as if she belonged there. The way he caressed her calmed her wrecking nerves, it just made her feel safe there and as much as she didn't want to accept it and as much she was afraid of being heartbroken again, she knew at the moment that much to her dismay she developed feelings for someone who will look at her the way a friend does, again.

#han seojun imagine #han seojun #hanseojunxkangsoojin #kang soojin #hwang in yeop #park yoona #true beauty #web comics #kang sujin #han seo joon #hanseojunxkangsujin #jujin #true beauty imagine #han seojun x reader #true beauty fanfic #seojun x sujin

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jingabitch · 4 years

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ch.2

Summary: When you were ten, Taehyung adopted you and gave you a home. Now that you’re eighteen, the sudden change in your scent perplexes and confounds him.

Pairing: wolf hybrid!tae x human!reader (all bts members are hybrids)

Word count: 10.7k

A/N: Did this girl bang out 3000-odd words in one night so that she could post it before Chinese New Year so that she could reach 888 followers by CNY? Yes. Yes she did. I hope you guys enjoy this, and please share and follow for more if you liked it!!

Also, I don’t do tag lists, so please don’t ask. This story is cross-posted on ao3 (link to account on my blog) so you can subscribe there.

Series index

You’d learned years ago what Taehyung was like in the weeks leading up to his heat. Overly moody, grumpy, and most of all, hungry. It was probably his body trying to load up on calories before five or so days where there was intense physical exertion without much opportunity to eat.

It had never been an awkward thing for you – after all, werewolf heat was a basic part of their biology, so no one made a big deal out of it. And since they never said anything about your own cycle, you afforded them the same courtesy, just taking it in your stride and doing your best to make it easier on them.

So it wasn’t surprising to you when one day in the middle of winter, Taehyung wolfed down (ha) his breakfast at twice his usual speed and then started looking furtively over at your plate. Sighing, you just pushed it towards him and went to make yourself something else. You made a mental note to make more food tomorrow, and braced yourself for the coming few weeks, where he would be alternately clingy and grumpy – or, interestingly enough, both at the same time.

His heats were never a big deal for you – if he had a heat partner, you mostly stayed out of his way, and stayed with the other boys instead. They were always more than happy to spend a whole week spoiling you and getting cute cuddles. If he didn’t, you usually ended up being the one to take care of him since the others had their own schedules and were out of the house most days. It wasn’t anything much – you just checked in on him once in a while, made sure he was eating and drinking water, and maybe wiped him down if he was too sweaty.

You didn’t expect that anything would change this year, although obviously you’d missed his last two heats, which he’d spent in the military facility. In preparation for his heat, you went to the supermarket and stocked up on food that would be easy for him to eat, like fruit and granola bars, making sure to pick his favourite brand which was, obviously, an extremely fancy and overpriced one.

While you continued your preparations for his heat, blissfully unaware of his inner turmoil, Taehyung was an absolute mess. Ever since his preheat started, he’d been racking his brains for a solution to the problem that wouldn’t arouse your suspicion, and coming up empty. There was no way he could get rid of you for a week without you figuring out something was up, since you knew he didn’t have a heat partner and it had never been a thing before for you to leave.

Everything was, of course, made more complicated by the fact that the closer he got to his heat, the more he didn’t want you to leave. He would wake up in the middle of the night wrapped around you, his face tucked into your neck and his hands gripping your waist possessively, and he would be burning up, panting for you.

You, of course, didn’t suspect a thing, and it truly was a testament to how comfortable you were with him that you weren’t noticing anything amiss. It really was remarkable how much could go over your head if you weren’t looking for it. If nothing else, the fact that he’d taken good enough care of you over the years that you were so complacent and comfortable around him was slight comfort. He knew your time at the shelter hadn’t been the best, and he was pleased that he’d managed to earn your trust, even if it did increase his guilt at taking advantage of it now.

His last hope, that he was clinging on to by a thread, was that since his heat was intended for the purpose of breeding, maybe he wouldn’t fixate on you. After all, you were human – you should be incompatible with him in that way. It wasn’t much, but it was all he had to go on.

Although really, anyone could have told him that that was a stupid plan. But since he’d refused to let anyone know what was going on, there was no one around to shake some sense into him.

His heat hit while he was at the studio. It had been a bad idea to go to work today, he knew it when he took three bites of the giant breakfast you’d cooked and turned his nose up at the rest of it, but they were starting to record their new song and he’d wanted to be there.

Unfortunately, his enthusiasm meant that when his heat hit in the afternoon, he was in the studio instead of comfortably waiting at home. The bright lights and sheer number of scents overwhelmed his senses, and he ended up curled in a corner of the room, desperately closing his eyes and trying to shut the world out, his head between his knees. His ears flicked repeatedly, before laying flat against his head in distress.

“Shit… we need to get him home,” Yoongi said, watching him groan pitifully, but when they tried to coax him to move, he refused, completely non-functional by this point and so uncomfortable that he couldn’t make sense of what was happening. Jimin tried to sit with him, hoping that his familiar scent would block out some of the harsher scents in the room, like the floor cleaner, but Taehyung just groaned and turned his face away, burying it in his shoulder. The rest of them looked on worriedly – his heat symptoms had never been this bad before.

Left without any other option, Namjoon called you, hoping that the familiar scent of home would soothe Taehyung enough to stop being a moaning mess on the floor of their studio long enough to go home and ride out the heat.

You’d never gotten anywhere so fast in your life. Hearing that Taehyung was in trouble spurred you to all but fly out of your house, speeding all the way to the studio in his extra car that he never let you drive. It was lucky that you’d learned how to drive in Geochang, you thought as you zipped into the parking lot at the BigHit building and raced up to the studio.

You burst into the room dramatically, panting from your exertion, and immediately zeroed in on Taehyung, who seemed to be feeling a little better than what you’d been led to believe, if the way he’d sat up and was looking at you was any indicator. His ears perked up too, indicating that he was no longer as distressed as he’d been just a minute ago.

“Hey,” you said softly as you approached slowly, not wanting to freak him out since his animal instincts were closer to the surface than usual. And, if you were being honest, the way his gaze fixated on you was almost predatory, triggering your flight instincts. Reassuring yourself that Taehyung would never hurt you, you continued to inch closer to him.

“How you doing, Tae-oppa?” you asked softly, getting on your knees next to him and pushing his sweaty bangs off his forehead. He closed his eyes and shuddered at the touch, and you wondered at his over-the-top reaction. Just how deep was he into his heat?

You made to pull your hand back, not wanting to cause him any more discomfort than necessary, but his hand shot up and grabbed your wrist. “Y/n…” he shuddered as he breathed your name. “You came,” he continued, looking up at you far more intensely than you thought the situation warranted, his long fingers stroking your wrist gently.

Hesitantly, you replied, “Uhh, yeah, Namjoon-oppa called me to come get you. Come on, let’s get you home,” you urged, trying to pull your hand away, but he tightened his grip around your wrist and made that impossible. You raised your brow at him, wondering why he insisted on staying in that corner instead of going home where he had pajamas, nice soft sheets on his bed, and could draw the curtains so the light didn’t hurt his eyes, but he stood up quite easily without letting go of you and started tugging you out of the room.

“Uh, okay then,” you mumbled, utterly confused now. When Namjoon had called you, he’d been almost panicked, describing what bad shape Taehyung was in and getting you all worried, but the man in front of you seemed completely fine. A little off-kilter, maybe, but that was only to be expected since he was going through heat, after all.

“Bye, oppas!” you said, waving at them as Taehyung pulled on your wrist, leading you down the hall and towards the elevator.

“Well, you look pretty good for someone in heat,” you told him as you waited for it to arrive, looking him up and down assessingly. “When Namjoon-oppa called me he was so panicked, and I freaked out too, but he must have been exaggerating,” you chattered on to fill the silence. You understood that Taehyung wasn’t really in the mood to make conversation right now, but somehow his intense gaze made the quiet feel a little uncomfortable.

The elevator doors opened with a ding, and your attention was momentarily taken away from Taehyung, so you didn’t see the way he shuddered. It wasn’t that he was feeling better, it was that his heat had found a target, and all that shaky, general horniness and misery had turned into laser focus on you. You walked into the elevator with that little bounce in your step, and he followed after you, almost stalking you with how predatory his gait and gaze were.

You stopped and turned around in the middle of the lift, your eyes lifting habitually to the display on top of the doors, but Taehyung didn’t stop walking, bumping against you and causing you to drop your gaze to him. You gasped at the hungry expression on his face, but it didn’t deter him from backing you up against the wall. You squeaked in surprise as your back hit the wall, knocking the air out of your lungs, and in the second that it took you to get your bearings back, he’d moved his hands from the wall on either side of your shoulders to your waist, pulling you tightly to him as he buried his nose in your neck.

You just about jumped out of your skin when you felt his erection pressing against you, and your mind immediately leapt to work rationalizing it away. He was in heat, it was normal for him to have a boner, and it definitely had nothing to do with you, you tried to convince yourself. He was scenting you because you smelled familiar, like home, and it was comforting for him.

Trying not to squirm away in discomfort so you could help him, you stroked his hair in what you thought was a soothing gesture. “Tae-oppa, you okay?” you asked softly.

He groaned in response. “You smell so good,” he said, sniffing you aggressively as he pressed you into the wall. You gulped and looked up at the numbers flashing on the screen, indicating that you were close to the basement now. The moment the elevator door opened, you pulled away under the guise of leaving the elevator, and hurried to the car.

Taehyung insisted that he wanted to take the car he’d driven here back home, as it was more comfortable, but then refused to hand you the keys so you could drive, instead forcing you to fish them out of his front pocket. He’d boxed you in with his body against the car while you’d done it, too, staring at you so intently that it made your face heat as you averted your gaze, trying to grab his keys without any accidents.

When the keys were finally in your hands, you slipped into the driver’s seat, trying to avoid staring at Taehyung as he went around to the other side of the car and slid gracefully into the passenger seat. You didn’t know what was going on, but you weren’t prepared for any of this, and it was making you slightly uncomfortable, especially because you couldn’t be sure that you didn’t like it. As inappropriate and wrong as all of this was, as much as you knew that this was just because of his heat and to entertain any fantasies would be taking advantage of him in this vulnerable state, there was a part of you that felt a sliver of interest. That, under all the fear and discomfort, had thrilled at having

As you started the car, you studiously ignored Taehyung. He huffed and undid the top few buttons on his shirt, then fiddled with the seat so that he was in a more comfortable reclining position. Your mind raced as you drove home – he’d never acted like this with you before, and you wondered if he was okay. The heat seemed to be worse than in previous years, and he must be really out of it by now. Was it even possible for him to get through this heat without a partner?

At a red light, you snuck a glance over at him, relieved to see that his eyes were closed and he seemed to have fallen into a light doze. That was good, you thought, your heart warming at seeing his cute sleeping face. He should get some rest while he could, because it seemed like this heat would be hard on him. Your heart squeezed – it seemed unfair that hybrids had to go through this, and you wondered why on earth your ancestors had created hybrids this way.

After parking the car, you looked over at him and bit your lip. You didn’t really want to wake him up now that he seemed to be sleeping rather comfortably, but unfortunately there was no way that you would be able to carry a fully grown hybrid back to his apartment, so reluctantly, you reached over to shake him awake.

“Tae-oppa?” you called quietly. “We’re home.”

He stirred and looked at you with half-closed eyes, before nodding listlessly, and you felt like the scum of the earth for even entertaining the thought that his earlier actions were an advance, and especially for that tiny bit of arousal that you’d experienced feeling his erection dig into your belly earlier. He was clearly in a vulnerable position, and here you were, misinterpreting his actions and taking advantage of him by enjoying what his hormones were making him do.

It would do you well to remember that it was your ancestors who had made him like this. In a way, it was kind of your fault that he had to go through it, and you promised him silently that you would do whatever it took to help him through this.

You slid out of the car, then hurried over to the other side to help him out. He seemed a little woozy and weaker than normal, but otherwise fine, and even managed to get himself back to the apartment without any difficulty. A light sheen of sweat coated him by the time you’d reached the apartment, though, and he made to go straight to the bedroom, but you managed to coax him to take a shower first since it wasn’t likely that he would get another one before his heat ended.

“Tae-oppa?” you called as he was headed into the bathroom, already stripping his shirt off.

He grunted in acknowledgement, but didn’t turn around or stop.

“Do you want me to call someone to help you with your heat? Maybe Minhee-unnie, or Haeun-unnie?” you suggested some of his previous heat partners, girls he’d hooked up with regularly in the past. There were also services that provided heat partners, but you didn’t know if anyone would be available on such short notice.

Taehyung thought about it. It would probably be smart to find a partner to ride this heat out – it was hitting far stronger than he’d anticipated and he could scarcely think straight, especially now that he was in the apartment where your scent was so incredibly intense and mixed so thoroughly in with the smell of home – but the thought of having a heat partner strangely made him feel almost sick.

“No, it’s okay,” he responded brusquely, too out of it to temper his tone, and closed the door behind him in the bathroom.

Shivering, he stripped out of the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower, turning the handle to the coldest setting possible. He hissed and growled in displeasure as the ice cold water hit his skin, but he knew it was necessary. He was burning up, way too hot for a usual heat, and even in his compromised state of mind, he knew that this could be dangerous if he didn’t cool down, and quickly.

The cold shower didn’t do much for the desire raging through him, though, and he rested his forehead against the cool tile of the shower stall and groaned. He was completely losing it, he could tell, and probably terrorizing you. He felt like an awful owner. You were so innocent and good, coming to get him from the studio, and he’d responded by basically assaulting you in the elevator earlier.

“Fuck!” he growled, slamming his fist into the wall. Even knowing that he was garbage wasn’t enough to stop him from recalling how amazing you’d smelled, how soft you’d felt under his hands, the way you’d melted against the press of his body in the elevator. You always smelled good to him, especially since he’d been discharged from the military, but today it seemed different. Better. The scent emanating from you was just slightly warmer, sweeter, spicier than the residual scent you’d left all over the apartment, including in the bathroom. In his heat-addled state, he couldn’t figure out why, but it was messing with his ability to keep his head on straight in a big way.

With another growl of frustration, he wrapped his hand around his cock, knowing that there was no way he could go back out into the apartment in the state he was in. It was fast and rough, and his orgasm was unsatisfying, barely enough to take the edge off the all-consuming hunger that bordered on pain, but he felt his mind clear just enough that he remembered all the reasons why bending his pet human over was a bad idea.

He got out of the shower and dried himself off perfunctorily, wrapping the towel around his waist because he hadn’t brought in fresh clothes. He was collecting his dirty clothes to drop into the laundry basket when, as he stood up, he caught sight of the box of tampons you’d left on top of the toilet. He rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance – you were always forgetting to put them back under the sink after your period was over. It was one of his biggest pet peeves, the way you would just leave things lying around and causing clutter.

Wait a minute. He frowned again at the box. You’d had your last period a week ago, which meant…

Fuck.

All the pieces fell into place in his mind then, and it took massive amounts of restraint to avoid sending his fist clear through the wall. You were ovulating, which is why you smelled so good. All his hopes of not fixating on you during this heat were dashed. In previous cycles, he’d noted your ovulation because your scent had shifted, but it had never affected him much before. Now, though, that he was in heat, the scent that indicated your fertility was overwhelming, stripping all restraint from him. The mere thought of cumming into you and getting you pregnant had his wolf instincts rising, the hair on the back of his neck prickling as his erection ached and his balls drew up, desperate to fulfil their purpose.

This isn’t right, the part of him that was still in control screamed, but that voice was quickly being drowned out by his hormones. This was bad, he needed to lock himself in his room before he did something he couldn’t take back.

With that thought in his mind, he wrenched the bathroom door open, and the cool air from outside the bathroom felt nice and calming on his overheated skin, helping him to maintain some sanity. Thankfully, you’d gone into your room and shut the door, and he made a beeline for his own room, thinking that as long as he didn’t see or smell you, everything would be fine.

Unfortunately, thinking that you were being helpful, you’d gone into his room while he was in the bathroom to leave some water and snacks. He could see a few bottles neatly lined up on the bedside table, and the rest of the carton was sitting on the floor in a corner of the room. You’d also arranged the energy bars and fruit on the table, within easy reach of the bed. His heart clenched at how thoughtful you were, but even the short amount of time you’d spent in his room was enough to leave traces of your scent in his room.

Groaning, he shut the door behind him and threw himself on the bed, facedown. He landed with his face in your pillow and growled, biting down on it as he impatiently stripped the towel off and threw it into a corner. His hands clenched into fists as he swiveled his hips, pressing his painful erection into the sheets.

In the state he was in, thoughts about how wrong it was to get himself off to your scent flew right out the window as he took deep huffs of the pillow that had become saturated with your scent from months of you sleeping on it every night. As he worked himself closer to orgasm, he imagined that instead of the residual scent you’d left in his bed, it was you, warm and soft and pliant, letting him fuck you, use your body as he needed. You’d be so sweet to him, he thought, cooing at him as you wrapped your arms and legs around him, stroking the back of his neck and letting him mark you up as he plowed into you. Even in his fantasy, he wasn’t able to be gentle with you, holding the pillow between his teeth as he imagined the tender skin of your neck and collarbone in its place. His wolf instincts running high, he shuddered as he found his release to the picture of you he held in his mind, letting him fuck a whole litter of pups into you.

“Y/n, shit, fuck,” he groaned as he came, holding that sweet fantasy close as he rode out his orgasm. Floating high in its wake for a moment, he rolled onto his back and shut his eyes, enjoying the small aftershocks running through his body. He wished he could just stay in this moment for the rest of his heat, where the consuming need had abated somewhat, but before the clarity of mind orgasm gave him made all his guilt come flooding back.

He was a terrible, shitty hybrid and he was definitely going to hell. The thought made his ears droop sadly, but at least you weren’t here to witness his descent into madness. You were too good to him, such a sweet pet, he mused as he grabbed one of the bottles of water you’d so kindly put within easy reach and gulping it down. He wished he at least knew why this was happening all of a sudden. He’d never heard of or read about hybrid-human relationships, even though he knew that technically he was part human as well. It was all very confusing and scary, made worse by the fact that he had to hide what he was feeling from everyone, especially you, for fear that you would see him differently. He’d worked so hard to make sure that you felt safe in his home, and all of that would go down the drain immediately if you found out how alluring he found your scent now, and how difficult a time he was having keeping his hands off you.

In the midst of his heat, even the thought of you finding out that he was unabashedly using your scent to get off didn’t fill him with horror and shame as it should have. Instead, his mind started to conjure up fantasies of you biting your lip, cooing his name when you found what a state he’d worked himself into. Imaginary you stroked his fevered brow softly, pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, then slid your hand down his body to grasp his erection as real Taehyung did the same thing.

He’d already cum twice, so he could take his time a little more, stretch out the teasing and immerse himself in his fantasy. Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip in an effort to muffle the whine he could feel building in his throat, he exhaled shakily. You’d be so sweet to him, stripping out of your clothes without him asking, leaning over him to kiss him sweetly. Your soft, gentle kisses would contrast against how confidently and tightly you were gripping his cock as you jerked him off, letting him moan and whimper into your mouth.

He wouldn’t be pliant for long – no, even in his fantasy he was needy, burning up, and you were the only thing that could save him from certain death. It would barely be a minute of you hovering over him, your hand on his cock, before he wouldn’t be able to take any more teasing. He’d grab you and flip the both of you over, so you landed on your back with him between your legs. He shuddered at the thought, turning onto his belly with his face back in your pillow, stacking his fists under him so they made a nice, deep hole for his cock to drill into.

You’d be wet and creamy already, letting him slide through your folds without any resistance. He thought about how soft and tight you’d be as he ran his fingers down your slit, stretching you out for his cock. Even in the state he was in, he would be careful not to hurt you, to prep you well so that when he finally took his rightful place deep inside you, there would be nothing but pleasure. Biting his lip, he slowly fucked into his fists, mimicking the way he would enter you for the first time.

Fantasy you arched into him and moaned helplessly, your walls tightening around him rhythmically as you adjusted to his length within you, and liquid heat pooled in his lower belly as he thought about the cute, breathy sounds you would make for him. Would you beg him for more, or tell him it was too much? He rather liked the idea of being too much for you, he found, enough to ruin you for any human man or hybrid who came after him. If he had his way, you’d always be his.

He groaned and huffed as he picked up his pace, rutting into his fists as the head of his cock brushed against the sheets. Thousand thread count sheets and yet the fabric dragged almost unpleasantly against the oversensitive flesh, far rougher than he was sure your silken heat would be.

As he jerked himself off relentlessly, he imagined that it was you he was plowing into, biting savagely into the pillow as he imagined that it was your neck he was marking up. His climax was close now, he could feel it, and he panted heavily as he strained for it. “Please,” he grunted, his voice muffled by the pillow. “Please, I need it.”

Like a wish granted, his orgasm washed over him, and he shuddered all over as he came to your scent again. “Y/n,” he groaned, your name like a prayer on his lips as copious amounts of cum landed in a pool on the sheets. “Fuck,” he breathed, right before he collapsed into a heat nap.

Almost two hours had passed since you’d gone into your room. You’d spent it comfortably enough, curled into your oversized armchair reading, but it was almost dark out now and you were getting hungry.

Putting your book down and removing the noise-cancelling headphones that ensured you’d be able to look Taehyung in the eye once his heat ended, you opened your bedroom door and poked your head out slightly hesitantly. Once, when you were thirteen, you’d been careless and just waltzed right out of Yoongi’s room and run into a very naked Taehyung gulping down water in the kitchen, and it had scared the crap out of the both of you. Needless to say, ever since then you’d checked to make sure the coast was clear before going anywhere in the apartment whenever any of them had their heats.

When all you saw was Taehyung’s closed bedroom door further down the corridor, you slipped out of your room and into the kitchen, tying your hair back into a ponytail as you gathered up ingredients. You didn’t know if Taehyung was up to have a full meal, but if he was, a nice, soothing soybean stew ought to hit the spot. Already licking your lips in anticipation, you put the earthenware port on the stove and turned it on, humming to yourself as you prepared the food.

When it was done, you left it on the stove and went to get Taehyung. Sometimes even during his heat he would be capable of coming to eat a meal with you, and you figured it was worth a shot. If not, you could always eat alone and leave the stew for him to reheat when he felt hungry enough.

“Tae-oppa?” you said softly, knocking on his door.

For a second, there was no noise from inside and you assumed he was asleep, but as you were about to walk away you heard a rustle, and then he said, in a slightly slurred tone, “Come in.”

You opened the door, and were immediately assaulted by the smell in the room, but you tried not to wrinkle your nose as you stepped in, knowing that Taehyung would be able to see it even in the dark. “Oppa, I made dinner, do you want to come join me?”

Your eyes were still adjusting to the darkness of the room, and you were hardly able to see anything, but you heard Taehyung moving and assumed he was coming to join you for dinner. Starting to turn around to exit the room, you were caught off guard when he instead pushed you up against the door, which in turn slammed shut. The air was knocked from your lungs and you saw stars for a moment, standing still in his grasp as you tried to figure out what just happened.

Taehyung, however, immediately took advantage of your confusion to crowd you against the door with his body. Your frame was completely dwarfed by his, one of his hands on your hip while the other was pressed to the wood beside your ear. “You smell so goddamn good,” he groaned as he bent to press his nose to your neck.

Now you were confused for a whole different reason, because his words, his proximity, the bare erection he was pressing into your belly, all of those things confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt what you’d earlier tried to deny to yourself. For some reason, your owner wanted you, and you didn’t know what to do.

“Tae-oppa –” you said timidly, trying to extricate yourself from this situation, but as he dragged his tongue up the length of your neck, right to your ear, your words cut off in a choked gasp. You shuddered involuntarily, hating yourself for reacting when you knew how wrong this all was.

“Y/n-ah, you smell so good, so ripe,” he said against your ear as he started to swivel his hips, thrusting against you. Against your will, your core clenched, and you cringed as you felt a rush of wetness escape you. Your vain hopes that he didn’t know how wet you’d become, even with his heightened hybrid senses, were dashed when he groaned again, this time a long, low sound full of agony, and pressed his lips to yours.

You were stock still for a moment, your mind blanking out, unable to comprehend what was going on. Every instinct was screaming at you to get out of there, that this was wrong, bad, sick, but your hands wouldn’t cooperate, half stretched out but not touching him, just hovering over his body.

“Y/n, it hurts,” he groaned, resting his head against your forehead and panting heavily. It sounded like there wasn’t enough air in the room for him, and you could empathize – the uncomfortably warm and humid atmosphere wasn’t comfortable for you, let alone a hybrid going through heat at the moment.

“What’s wrong, oppa?” you asked, stroking your hands down his side in a bid to bring him comfort, your initial reluctance to touch him or do anything that might give him the wrong idea forgotten in your haste to do anything that might make him feel better. Even touching his bare sides confirmed to you that he was burning up, and he usually ran warmer than you did as it was. Frowning, you tried to touch his face, to see whether he was feverish enough for it to be dangerous. If there was something wrong this time – and based on his strange behavior, you were already inclined to think there was – you had to call someone to come help him immediately.

A sob ripped through him as your hand landed on his face, and he nuzzled aggressively into your palm. “You feel okay,” you murmured, stroking his cheek with your thumb. He was warmer than usual, but not so hot that you were alarmed.

Instead of responding to your comment, he begged again, “Please help me, Y/n-ah.” The abject misery in his tone tugged at your heartstrings, and in that moment you knew you would do anything if it prevented him from suffering any more.

“What do you need, Tae-oppa?” you asked quietly, steeling yourself for what was pretty sure would be the reply. By this point, you weren’t even thinking about whether or not you personally wanted to do this – and you were fairly ambivalent about the whole thing, if you were being honest – and your entire paradigm shifted, with Taehyung in the center of it.

Instead of answering with words, he bent down slightly and hoisted you up with his hands on the back of your thighs, slotting himself between them neatly as he pressed you into the door. In this position, his prominent erection rubbed against your core, like a fiery brand burning through your shorts and panties.

You whimpered. You didn’t know which way was up – it had been so long since you’d broken up with your ex back in Geochang, and you hadn’t had any action since, and the way he was moving against you triggered every carnal instinct you possessed. At the same time, your rational mind knew that this was wrong, that he was a hybrid and you were a human. You were different species, for God’s sake, and you’d never seen him in any light other than as your owner and guardian. Somehow, though, none of that mattered when he made another pained noise.

Hesitantly, you slipped your arms around his neck and started kissing him back. Your tentative overtures were nothing like the way he greedily devoured your mouth as a precursor to the way he wanted to eat you alive, but his reaction was dramatic enough that it didn’t seem he minded too much. Pressing you back more firmly against the door, he slipped one hand from your thigh up your camisole, his long fingers stretching up your ribcage.

You shivered at his touch, although you weren’t sure whether it was in arousal or revulsion. Nevertheless, you steeled yourself and let him grope you, kiss you, do whatever he wanted. You were quickly realizing that you would do anything to help Taehyung, even give up your own body. After all, he was the person who had saved you all those years ago. It was the least you could do for him, no matter what your personal thoughts on the matter were.

Still, there was something about how enthusiastically he was kissing and touching you that was incredibly persuasive, stirring something deep within you that wanted to respond in kind. Slowly, your kisses became bolder, and when you tentatively swiped your tongue against his bottom lip, his whole body shuddered in a way that made you feel powerful.

“Fuck,” he growled, and still holding on to you, he turned and strode over to the bed, dropping you unceremoniously down on it. You’d barely landed when his hands were at work again, hooking his fingers in your waistband and pulling down your shorts and panties at the same time.

“Fuck,” he repeated more softly this time as he dropped the discarded clothing carelessly. He levelled his body over yours, an elbow planted into the bed beside you to help balance himself as he slid his other hand down your soft belly to your pussy. You widened your legs accommodatingly to his touch, biting your lip to stay quiet when his hand slid over you, just a little too hard to be pleasurable over the sensitive flesh.

“Shit, this heat is going to be the death of me,” he huffed, sounding more lucid now that you were under him than he had at any point before. He settled between your legs and bent his head back down to rub his nose against your neck again, but that one throwaway comment stuck in your mind, causing you to stiffen under him uncomfortably. Your stomach twisted unpleasantly in panic as you realized what you’d almost done. He was in heat, unable to think straight, and instead of protecting him from making a hormone-fueled decision that he would definitely have regretted as soon as his heat passed, you’d been about to enable it.

Whatever arousal you might have been feeling evaporated in an instant, shame and horror filling you instead. Taehyung was so out of it that he didn’t notice the chance in your body language, but he sure as hell noticed when you tried to scramble away from him, though you weren’t very successful since his entire weight was pressing down on you, pinning you in place.

Still, you made a little headway squirming away from him before his eyes opened wide again and he frowned down at you, pressing his hips more firmly down into you to pin you down. “Stop,” he protested. “What are you doing?”

“Oppa, we can’t do this,” you cried out, distressed, as you continued to struggle away from him. But he was bigger and stronger than you were, and pinned you down easily.

“Why not,” he whined, his breath ruffling the hair by your temple. He was still panting heavily as you squirmed under him, and you stopped, realizing that your movement was making the situation worse. In your despair, tears began to prick at your eyes, and the scent of your distress, cutting sharply through the intoxicating aroma of your arousal, gave him pause.

“Baby, are you okay?” he asked with some concern, lifting himself off you slightly so that he could peer down at your face. The moment you felt his weight leave you, you used your newfound leverage to push him so hard he lost his balance, falling to the mattress next to you. You wouldn’t have been able to do it if he’d been expecting it and bracing against it, you knew, because he was just so much stronger than you naturally.

In a flash, you were up and running for your life, sprinting for his bedroom door. You didn’t bother grabbing the rest of your clothes, knowing there was no time. Even with the head start you’d gotten on Taehyung, you knew that it would be close when he snarled and pushed himself off the bed, chasing after you.

Shit, you swore to yourself as you ran for your bedroom. It loomed ahead of you, seeming to get further away as your vision narrowed in your panic. You could hear Taehyung thundering down the hallway after you, and with his longer stride and superior hybrid strength, he was gaining on you at an alarming pace. Even though you knew this was probably nothing for him, he was panting loudly enough for you to hear it, and you cringed as you remembered how alluring the chase was to wolves. Did Taehyung have that in common with them? You were starting to realise that despite being with him for so long, there were enormous gaps in your knowledge about him. Of course, you’d never expected that you would need to know such intimate details about him, but here you were.

You ducked into your room and slammed the door shut just in time, wincing as you heard Taehyung crash into the solid oak with a furious snarl. You flipped the lock into place right before he started abusing the door handle, banging loudly and pulling way too hard on the handle as he yelled for you. “Y/n-ie? Baby, please unlock the door. Just talk to me, baby, I just wanna talk, I won’t do anything else, please.” He continued to beg and wheedle, his voice turning into a whine.

Oh, God. You had no clue how to handle this, and it was turning into a nightmare. You backed away from the door, trying to give yourself as much distance as possible to think. You had to call for reinforcements, you knew. There was no way in hell you were going out there, and Taehyung was out of his mind right now.

Running your hands through your hair in stress, you picked up the phone that you’d thankfully left on your bedside table instead of on the kitchen counter. There was only one person who could help you, you knew. Namjoon.

You sat on the floor with your back against the door the entire time you waited for him to arrive, trying to offer Taehyung comfort and companionship without actually opening the door, which you knew would lead to something you couldn’t take back given the state he was in. He’d given up on yelling and trying to break into your room, since the door was sturdy enough to withstand his efforts to knock it down. In utter despair and misery now, he was on the floor whimpering and whining, and your heart broke with every sad, pathetic noise he made. It took everything in you not to open the door and give him what he so desperately wanted, and it was only the knowledge that he would hate himself, and you, once the heat passed that gave you the strength to resist.

Thankfully, Namjoon had a key to the apartment, because you didn’t know how you would have gotten all the way to the front door to let him in with Taehyung still camped outside your bedroom. You knew when he arrived because Taehyung’s sad, soft whines transformed into angry growls. He was infuriated at another hybrid encroaching on what he considered to be his territory during his heat, with his bitch in the vicinity, and you were terrified that he would actually attack the older man, yet another thing that he would hate himself for when he was back in his right frame of mind.

Grateful that you’d thought to dress yourself once you were back in your room, you opened the door, distracting Taehyung from Namjoon as he immediately attached himself to you. Patting his back while trying to keep his hands from straying to inappropriate places, it took you a moment to realize that Namjoon had brought Yoongi with him, and you squinted in confusion at the snow leopard hybrid.

“You should stay with Yoongi until Tae’s heat passes,” Namjoon explained. “I’ll keep an eye on Taehyung.”

That sounded like a good idea in theory, but how poorly Taehyung had reacted to having them in his apartment during his heat made you skeptical of how it would play out. Even now, Taehyung’s distraction was fading away, and he was standing protectively in front of you as he growled threateningly at the intruders.

“His instincts are amped up because of you, for some reason. If you aren’t here anymore, he should calm down.”

You chewed on your lip indecisively. The doubt in Namjoon’s voice made you want to protest, to reject his proposal. How could you endanger both Taehyung and Namjoon on a hunch?

Really, though, what was the alternative? You couldn’t possibly give in to Taehyung; he would be filled with regret and self-loathing once he returned to normal, and you needed to protect him from that.

“Okay,” you acquiesced finally. You tried to step around Taehyung to go to Yoongi, but he whipped around, alarmed.

“Baby, what are you doing?” he asked, panicked, his arms wrapping around you immediately.

“Oppa, let me go, please?” you begged softly, hoping futilely that Namjoon and Yoongi wouldn’t hear your conversation with him. Somehow, this felt too intimate for anyone else to witness.

Taehyung brushed his thumb along your cheekbone, wiping away the stray tear in what had to be the most tender gesture he’d made towards you since his heat started. “Don’t cry, baby,” he whispered, his forehead resting against yours. “I’ll give you everything you need.”

“Tae-oppa, I’ll see you after your heat, okay?” you managed, forcing the words out past the lump in your throat. “Be nice to Namjoon-oppa. I love you.” You’d said it to him so many times before, but it carried a different weight this time that you didn’t want to examine too closely.

“Y/n-ie…” He didn’t let you go, but his grip loosened ever so slightly, and you took the opportunity to twist yourself out of his embrace, and hurried over to Yoongi. He gave you a small smile as he held his hand out to you.

As you left the apartment with Yoongi, you heard Taehyung give a heart-rending roar, and almost said to hell with it and ran back to him. As if sensing your internal conflict, Yoongi’s hand tightened on yours, making it impossible for you to leave his side.

You sobbed in the car all the way to Yoongi’s apartment, the reality of everything setting into you only after you’d left the situation, and the adrenaline that had kept you going left your system. You didn’t understand what was going on, but the pure misery you’d heard in Taehyung’s voice as he called out for you stayed with you. It was your fault somehow, you knew. Taehyung was suffering because of you, because of your ancestors, cruel people who’d made him the way he was for their own selfish purposes. Everything was your fault.

For the next four days, you barely left Yoongi's guest bedroom. He gave up trying to coax you to watch Netflix with him or come to the studio to interact with the other members. Instead, he left you alone for the most part, only coming to get you when it was meal time or when he had an update from Namjoon.

Apparently, after you'd left he'd barricaded himself in his own bedroom and hadn't left. Namjoon was trying to get him to eat a proper meal, but it was tough - thankfully, there was still the stew you'd cooked and hadn't gotten a chance to eat on the stove, because it wasn't like Namjoon was capable of cooking a nutritious homemade meal from scratch. After several attempts, Taehyung had finally allowed Namjoon to hand him the meal on a tray, which he ate in his room and left the empty dishes outside the door after.

Apart from that, you didn't know much because he wasn't interacting with Namjoon, so your secondhand information was limited at best. It didn't really help your anxiety about the whole situation, but at least you knew he was alive, and you'd really left enough food and water in his bedroom for several heats, so there wasn't a problem on that front.

You used the time, instead, to think about what had happened during the first day of Taehyung's heat. For the entire four days you were at Yoongi's, you basically thought about nothing else. He'd wanted you. Now that you were thinking about it in that light, a lot of the other strange things he'd been doing made a lot more sense. He wasn't just reacting to your familiar scent, or pack bond, or whatever bullshit it was that he'd been feeding you. You realised with a start that he'd been attracted to you.

That realisation didn't make you feel better - in fact, you had more questions than before. How long had this been going on? How could this happen? Was this normal? Was he normal? And, most importantly, how did you feel about it all?

With so much time on your hands all of a sudden, you thought about it obsessively, and cycled through almost every possible emotion.

First came the knee-jerk reaction of disgust and horror, of course. How could this happen? How could you let this happen? You sobbed as you thought about how wrong all of this was, how weird, how inappropriate it was that Taehyung was attracted to you, a human and his pet, for God's sake. And he'd fucking lied about it too, feeding you that bullshit about his pack bond and lulling you into a false sense of security so you'd continue to stay with him, when he should have told you what was happening and let you move away as soon as he started feeling this way.

But then - and almost against your will, because you did not want to start empathizing with him and trying to justify the shitty things he'd done to you in your mind - you started to see things his way. If it was so wrong to you, it must have been a million times worse for him, the one who'd been caught so off-guard by these new, entirely unexpected emotions. He must have been blindsided, felt so lost and scared, when he realised what was going on. Your traitorous heart felt a pang of sympathy for him. Of course he hadn't wanted to tell you; he'd probably not even been ready to admit it to himself.

Lying on your back and staring up at the ceiling, you tried to sort out your thoughts. Whether you liked it or not, you were programmed to want to please your owner, and that included understanding them. Your psyche had done its job and let you understand, with very little information and no help, Taehyung's motivations and frame of mind.

What it wouldn't help with, however, was understanding how you felt about all of this. You sighed and rolled onto your belly, burying your face in the pillows, stifling the urge to scream in frustration.

You knew you cared about Taehyung. Despite everything else, that hadn't changed. You couldn't forget the way he'd taken you in, given you a loving home and everything a human could possibly ask for, and asked for nothing in return. He'd even done his best to hide his growing desire from you when - let's be real - he could have acted on it whenever he wanted. It's not like anyone would believe you over him. You loved him, and you were so grateful to him for taking you in when nobody else would, and saving you from a miserable childhood in the shelter. Everything you had - everything you were - was because of him.

Still, you couldn't quite shake the feeling that this was wrong, that it was immoral and inappropriate and sick to be in a human-hybrid relationship. Not after everything that had happened between the two species. Not when you were literally different species.

With a groan of despair that was muffled by the pillows, you flailed a little in frustration. What were you to do? You were still no closer to an answer than you'd been when you'd first started thinking about all of this literal days ago.

Namjoon didn't know - and, God willing, would never know - that Taehyung had found your discarded shorts and underwear on his bedroom floor after you'd left, and had been using that to help him get off ever since. In the state he was in, he wasn't even capable of feeling shame or remorse at what he was doing, and was just ecstatic that he finally had something better than your residual scent on his sheets to get off to.

He sniffed at the crotch of your panties - buried his face in them, really - licked and sucked at the stains that your arousal had left in them, and tried to memorise the scent as he masturbated furiously throughout the entire four days of his heat. By the end of it, there was barely any trace of you left on the scrap of fabric, something he bemoaned as he worked himself to the final unsatisfying orgasm of his heat.

His whole room was a mess - it stank of sex and debauchery, and there was cum all over the place - the floor, the pillows from when he'd rutted them, all over the sheets. As he fell into a deep sleep, he wondered if you'd be able to smell it, even with your weak human nose, when you came back.

He kind of hoped you would. His heat-addled mind wanted you to know what he'd done for you.

When Taehyung woke up, finally lucid after running through his heat, the first thing he did was remove your panties from his mouth. He grimaced in disgust - how had he literally fallen asleep with them there? God, he was truly awful - and tossed them aside, grabbing a half-finished bottle of water from between the pillows and downing it. He was parched, and the the water in the bottle wasn't enough for him.

As he got up on shaky legs to grab another bottle from the corner, he recognized for the first time how ravenous he was, and after picking up his water, brought it with him while he left his bedroom for the first time in days to find some food.

Thinking that he was alone, he didn't bother getting dressed, so when he reached the end of the hallway and entered the common area of the apartment, he screamed like a little girl and ran all the way back to his room in embarrassment when Namjoon, sitting on the couch with his Kindle, turned around to see him in his full naked glory. It was nothing the older man hadn't seen before, of course - you see all sorts of things when you live together for as long as they had - but it was still embarrassing, especially after so long being apart.

By the time he re-emerged sheepishly, fully dressed, Namjoon was waiting for him with a smirk. "You didn't need to react like that, you know," he teased.

"Yeah, yeah," Taehyung grumped. "I'm starving, is there anything to eat?"

Namjoon rolled his eyes. "What do you think this is, Masterchef?" he quipped. "I just called for delivery, it should be here soon," he continued.

Taehyung, on hearing that, gave his leader his best boxy smile. "Thanks, hyung! You're the best!" he cheered, going to sit on the other end of the couch to wait.

Namjoon, figuring that he would leave the questions till after the other man had eaten, went back to his Kindle. Taehyung, though, seemed to have other ideas.

"Hyung, have you been here all this while?" he asked curiously.

"Uh, yeah," Namjoon replied. "Somebody had to take care of you."

"Where's Y/n?" came the next question.

Namjoon hesitated then. "How much do you remember?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to say anything that might startle or upset Taehyung.

"Uhh..." Taehyung frowned, thinking hard. "I remember Y/n smelling real good," he said, shivering at just the memory of it. "Then she was in my room, under me... then..." he trailed off, his eyes widening in horror as he started remembering in detail what had happened.

"Oh, my God," he groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I'm awful," he said, beginning to sob.

"Hey, don't say that about yourself," Namjoon said, alarmed, drawing closer as he patted the younger man on the back comfortingly. "You're not awful, you were just caught up in your heat, that's all."

"No, you don't understand!" Taehyung cried out, obviously distressed. "I'm the worst; I'm a disgusting hybrid and pet owner, and I should be put behind bars for Y/n's safety, and probably the rest of society, too," he finished miserably, his ears drooping.

Namjoon tried to calm Taehyung down to explain what he meant by that, but before he succeeded, the food arrived, and with that distraction readily available, the younger man clammed up as he stuffed his face full of japchae and kimchi stew to avoid talking.

Eventually, when everything had been finished - even the weird sweetcorn banchan that no one ever finished - Taehyung couldn't put it off any longer.

"You'll hate me," he protested dejectedly when Namjoon tried again to coax him to spill the beans.

"Bro, if I didn't hate you after you threw up all over me when you had food poisoning, how could anything make me hate you now?" Namjoon countered reasonably.

That made sense, so with a heavy sigh, Taehyung told Namjoon the entire sordid tale. The words came out stiltedly at first, then started pouring out, as Taehyung started speaking faster and faster, until it sounded like he was the rapper in the group. The more he spilled, the lighter the weight on his shoulders became, as if by telling someone else, he was transferring the burden. Namjoon, to his credit, listened quietly, his expression remaining open and neutral as he took in Taehyung's story, interjecting only to ask clarifying questions but never to pass any judgement.

When Taehyung was finally done - he left out the bit about him using your dirty underwear to get him through his heat, because hyung or not, there were some things that should be kept to himself - he leaned back against the couch cushions with a heavy sigh. This was it, he knew. No matter how accepting his hyung was, there were some things that were just too much, and this was one of those. As he'd been telling the story from the beginning, starting from the day you'd come to pick him up from his army base, how awful it all was hit him again, amplified by revising the entirety of how he'd abused you and your trust.

"So you see," he concluded his story with a small sigh, "I'm a disgusting pervert who should probably die for the sake of society."

To his shock, Namjoon leaned in and squeezed his knee. "Don't say that about yourself," he castigated. "I'll do some reading and see if I can find out more about this, but you shouldn't panic, okay? I'm sure I'll be able to find an explanation and solution for you. Trust your hyung."

The way he said that, so sure and steady, made Taehyung relax, almost against his will. Namjoon had been there for him for almost half of his life now, and he knew, from the determined set of his jaw, that he would come through for him again.

"Okay."

After their conversation, Namjoon texted Yoongi to let him know that the coast was clear and quickly made himself scarce, not wanting to get in the way of whatever emotional reunion you were going to have, knowing Taehyung.

Yoongi, for his part, tried his best to get you back home as quickly as possible, and you didn't have the heart to tell him that you would actually have appreciated a little more time away from Taehyung. You felt bad, but you were still so unsure about everything that was happening, and you were, if you were being completely honest, a little afraid to go home and face him.

Which led to you, standing outside your front door like an idiot, your fist raised to knock, but unable to actually do it. There would be no going back from this, you knew. Nothing would ever be the same again, one way or another. Was it so wrong of you to want to keep things the way they were, just for a second?

With a heavy sigh, you dropped your fist against the solid wood of the door, wincing at the loud sound it made. Almost too quickly, you heard the patter of footsteps as Taehyung raced to the door and opened it.

"Hi," you breathed awkwardly, standing like an idiot with no clue of what to say or do all of a sudden.

Taehyung, it seemed, had no such problems as he pulled you into a hug and kicked the door shut with his foot. "Y/n, you came back," he breathed into your hair as he squeezed the life out of you.

Even though you'd been so nervous just a second earlier, being in his warm, familiar embrace made it feel like everything would be okay again, and you couldn't help but melt into his embrace. "Of course I came back, oppa," you said quietly into his chest.

"I thought... I thought..." Taehyung choked up and he couldn't continue as he dissolved into sobs. "I'm so sorry!" he cried instead, over and over again as you soothed him, telling him that everything would be okay, that you would always be here for him, that you were never going to leave him no matter what, as you stroked his ears comfortingly, the way you knew he liked.

"Hey, it's okay," you repeated as you patted his back, leaning up on tiptoe to press kisses to as much of his face as you could reach. And it was. Just being with Taehyung, in that moment, gave you a clarity that you hadn't been able to find after days of agonizing over it. Taehyung had saved you, and you loved him. It was as simple as that. And listening to him blubber about how sorry he was, how he'd work on it, he promised, how he'd never do anything like that again if you would just forgive him, you knew that whatever Taehyung wanted, you'd give to him, no matter how you felt about it.

"It's okay," you said one last time as his sobs petered out. "Whatever you want, it's okay."

Taehyung didn't fully register at the time how much you meant what you'd said to him that day, but he would soon.

It was weeks later that Namjoon finally made a breakthrough on his research. Weeks of obsessively searching, trawling through endless pages on the dark web and the dregs of reddit, before he finally found something. It was an old research paper, hundreds of years old, published by a now-defunct, of course, company that had manufactured hybrids. The paper was titled "Research advancements in imprinting technology in hybrids".

"Oh my God," Namjoon breathed in shock and horror as he skimmed the paper. This was way more serious than either he or Taehyung had initially thought.

#btswritingcafe #magicshopnet #bangtansmutcentral #btswriterscollective #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #bts #bts fic #bts hybrid #bts hybrid au #hybrid bts #taehyung smut #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts future au

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fictionalmenmistress · 4 years

Text

Shadow From The Window (Leonardo)

Imagine your scared of the dark and alone, but your sexy hero-in-the-half-shell comes to sleep at your side, after a long partol. Exausted, he forgets how easy you startle, and comforts you.

(SFW but blushy, leaning Fem!Reader/ but also gender-neutral, Bayverse Leo, no swearing, FLUFF, a lil spooky at the start but all sweet and completely handle-able. Its safe 💙)

(So, this is my first official post here and I'm so excited! First of all, HI EVERYONE! I'm so happy to have found my peoples and to be here uwu, I love you all. Hopefully, this brings you comfort to rest before bed, or in the middle of the night. Want me to do one for all the boys? Lemme know!💙)

I am writing this at 2-3 am, after imagining this scenario to comfort myself, settling down to rest. The thought of Leo hiding in the dark, makes the dark a lot less scary. (Tho I decided to write it instead of resting lol) LETS GET IT!

Its 3 am in your studio apartment.

You've been living in New York city for a while now, but its always been a hassle to fall asleep in your own place. That's been the hardest adjustment after leaving home... how scary it can be on your own. Truth be told, you're 'scared of the dark'. Not nescessarily scared of the darkness itself, but the shadows in the corner of the room... the random noises and things that go bump in the night... the mere thought in the back of your mind that something, as ridiculous as it sounds to others, will come and get you once your guard is down.

There you lied, stiff as a board on your back. The covers, pulled up to your neck, as you breathed in and out as silently as you could. Why did you still feel like you had to hide from monsters or bad guys in your own home? "Dang it, y/n..." you sighed, wiping the nervous cold sweat from your forehead, overheating internally from the anxiety.

"WHY... why did I have to watch that horror movie with Donnie?" You thought, internally shouting at yourself. "He said its not scary, that its 'too absurd to be plausible, and thus won't trigger a reaction of fear'. So much for a slow and steady introduction to the genre!"

You should have known when Raph said "Nope, I'm out." Donnie sat there the whole time, laughing at the movie at the scariest and most ill-timed moments... and you recall just glaring at him, teeth chattering, whispering to yourself:

"Yeah, he's cracked alright."

Just because something isn't scientifically proven, doesn't mean it can't happen... or hasn't happened, right?

"Ugh..." you groaned, curling your lips into a gremace, scared your groan was too loud amongst the unsettling silence. "I can't sleep with the lights on again..."

Glancing toward your phone, you noticed a blue light illuminate the screen, informing you that you got a new text. But that blue light... it instantly made you think of the blue-loving turtle you so dearly loved. The light of your life.

'Leo would protect me.'

Ah, that comforting reminder that you would feel so safe in your boyfriend's arms... if only he were here with you.

But... he wasn't. He was probably out on patrol, far away, and unable to come any time soon, even if he could.

"That's it." You said, taking and deep breath and mustering up all of your courage, throwing the covers off and dashing to the light switch.

*flick!* And... everything in the room was normal. It was comforting, but you scolded yourself for not accepting that everything was already secure, and nothing was lurking in the dark.

Everything was still, as you closed your curtains and lied back down in bed.

"Light on it is." You sighed, before the light suddenly flickered by itself.

"Oh crap-" you muttered, taking a gulp, as the power went out. "OH CRAP, ITS JUST LIKE THE MOVIE-"

Now, you felt screwed. You lied as still as possible, for what felt like forever, refusing to close your eyes. Dang it... DANG it!

Grabbing your phone light, you quickly tip-toed to the bathroom, trying to pee as fast as you could, so you could get back to your warm bed where it feels semi-safe.

As soon as you opened the bathroom door, you noticed your curtains flowing and twirling in the night wind. Street sounds from the never-sleeping city below echoed faintly through your widely-opened window.

"My window... is open?" You thought in horrified shock, examining your surroundings in the dark carefully.

You froze in your tracks, as your phone light turned itself off.

BATTERY TOO LOW TO USE FLASHLIGHT, PLEASE CHARGE.

A chill went down your spine, as you stood there in the center of everything, slowly backing to a corner, where you planned to crouch in the fetal position, so you could see all angles of the room for the rest of the night.

You took another step back, and another, before you bumped into a large mass, standing behind you.

'Not the wall...' your brain registered, feeling the heat of whomever or whatever this tall thing was, radiating against your back.

"Hello, beautiful~" A deep voice chuckled, startling you.

Jolting around, you saw a dark, tall shadow, looming before you.

The fear disoriented you, quickly rushing adrenaline through your body, as your fight or flight reacted. You quickly let out a shriek, chucking your dying phone at the shadow and darting quickly toward the window.

The shadow caught the phone instantly, with lightning fast reflex, as a large hand suddenly wrapped around your wrist, gently yet firmly pulling you back into the room before you crawled out onto the fire escape.

"WHOA, hey hey! Y/N easy! Its okay." A gentle, farmiliar voice assured, gently pulling you around to face him. "Its just me!"

"L-let go!" You whimpered, still not realizing who it was. "P-please..."

"Hey, its me..." he softly whispered, as your breath began to steady, blinking a couple of times as his identity fully set in. "Shh, sh sh sh." He lulled.

"L-Leo?" You squeaked in disbelief.

The figure slowly leaned into the moonlight, casting over you from the open window, revealing his GORGEOUS, icy blue eyes. Those intense-yet-soft eyes... that you knew and loved more than anyone else's. That comforting, strong, lovingly soft gaze, that instantly reassured you that you were safe.

"Your aim is getting better," he softly chuckled, smirking with his adorable grin. Leo slowly slid your phone before you, onto the moonlit sheets, barely revealing his outstretched, chiseled, manly hands. "I'm so sorry I scared you, love. I didn't mean to... I would never on purpose..."

Leo's voice sounded composed, but also ashamed and regretful, as he became more serious to apologise. He always spoke so softly to you...

"Leo, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I-" you desparately assured, bursting into tears. "I-"

"Hey hey, I should have knocked, or called. I'm sorry I scared you, sweetheart. I thought I would suprise you in a good way, not startle you." He murmured, reaching his large hands out to gently grasp you, holding you in his arms.

"Oh... I'm so happy to see you!" You sighed, falling against him.

"Donnie felt bad about that scary movie, he told me about how scared you were and begged me to check on you." He whispered, with that composed, reassuring voice.

"Oh Leo... you really came." You whispered, sniffling back your tears.

"Of course, my love... I came straight here after patrol. I would have come sooner, but Raph was getting his shell handed to him by this big..." he hesitated, biting his lip.

"Leo?" You asked, wondering why he stopped.

"-You know what? It doesn't matter." He gently corrected, changing the subject.

"What? What was it?" You innocently asked, curling up against his warm, sculpted chest.

You could feel Leo's skin grow warmer with a blush, as he slowly and sweetly welcomed your embrace, holding you close.

"I'll tell you during daylight. Just... sweetie, I'll never let anything bad happen to you, as long as I live. You're safe, whether I'm near or far. Okay, sweetheart?" Leo promised with his deep innocent voice, planting a soft kiss against your forehead.

Suddenly, you heard a generator power on through your front door, and the power flicked back on.

You could at last see him. See his muscled arms around you, and the tails of his worn out blue mask resting against his chest, along side you. His plastron... rising and falling as he took in slow breaths.

Leo was so careful holding you in his arms... like you were this precious, tiny thing, that he adored with his entire existance.

"Hey, you... you there?" He muttered, growing increasingly bashful in his tension.

"I'm here." You gently assured with a smile, before pulling away to examine his handsome face.

Leonardo. Sexy, handsome, justly-confident, fierce leader. This fearless, giant turtle mutant, who was unlike anyone else in the world. His jaw clenched from sudden bashful nervousness, as his gaze shyed away from your eyes. Your stare always overwhelmed him... it was such an intimate thing to meet his eyes.

Leo cleared his throat, as he slowly reached out to your face, ever-so-carefully wiping away a tear from your cheek, watching intently and focusing as he did so.

Over cautiously gentle so he wouldn't risk hurting you with his strength.

"There we go..." he softly whispered in satisfaction, sighing with a relieved smirk.

"Can you..." you began, with every ounce of security and confidence you could muster. "Can you... stay? With me, all of tonight?"

You felt your cheeks blush intensely, blooming red, as Leo bit on his bottom lip. His eyes widened, as he fully realized your question.

"Y-yeah, o-of course I can..." Leo answered, all of a sudden a thousand times more innocent and adorable, intensely flattered and touched that you wanted him to stay at your side. "Uh... I'll... uh-" he began, moving back from kneeling on your bed before you, aimlessly pacing into your tiny kitchen.

Leo usually was so bold and certain, organized and authoritative, when he was on the move.

You recalled how you had seen first-hand how he can lay out the strategy of attack for the boys. He could be flipping into action, or running through the rooftops as he did it, with perfect coordination in his speech and movements. But with you and only you, Leo wasn't able to get the words out when he was this nervous or bashful.

He had a tendancy to overthink things.

Leo wandered into the cupboard, beginning to steep some tea on the stove as his tongue caught up with his brain.

"Do you want... tea?" He gently asked, clearing his throat.

Such husband material...

"Ah, sure." You grinned, sweetly answering.

You realized how safe and secure you felt now, with him in the studio. You weren't alone anymore.

Leo didn't say much while he prepared the tea. He hyper-focused to distract himself from the nervousness of staying at your place, ALONE with you for the night. He paced around without speaking... doing little thoughtful things, like closing the window and locking it for you, shutting the closet and bathroom door, and picking out the perfect cups for the two of you, from your DC glass cup collection.

(Leo liked the Nightwing one since it was blue, and he always gave you the batgirl one, because you loved purple. He loved it when you would geek out and tell him how those heroes were the perfect couple... it reminded him of the both of you, and hoped that you gushed about him like that when he wasn't around.)

Leo brought the cups over, moving carefully with his eyes on the glass, gently placing one in your hand, and his own at your bedside.

"I"ll sleep right here, beside you." He thought out loud, examining the hardwood floor panels.

"Ah, Leo, you're not sleeping on the ground." You ordered, taking a long drink from your cup.

"Its no trouble," he assured, unlatching and taking off his belt and sword straps, placing them on your countertop. Leo sat down across from your bed, and began taking off his customized traditional ninja footwear, so all that remained were his pants and mask.

Why did this make you blush and get so flustered, the way he lifted those muscular arms over his head? Its not like he's taking anything revealing off...

"Modest like Leo... modest like Leo..." you whispered under your breath, recomposing your wandering thoughts.

He slowly walked up to you, lying you back and pulling your covers over you. Leo gently placed his hand against your cheek, staring deep into your eyes, as a soft smile rested over his lips.

He slowly nuzzled his nose beside yours, cherishing every small movement, before planting a soft kiss on your forehead. Then, he pulled away.

You felt your arms involuntarily reach out to him, taking his face into your hands. You both stared innocently into one another's eyes, before you made a bold move, planting your lips against his. You gently kissed Leo's lips, and he kissed you back, in the most respectful, admirable, and sentimental way possible.

Kissing Leo always felt so intimate and special... even as soft and innocent as it was. Leo made the tiny gestures special to you again.

"Leo, would you please... hold me?" You whispered, tightly closing your eyes and resting your forehead against his. "Please, sleep with me tonight."

"S-sleep with-" he panicked, turning vibrant red. For the first time that night, he realized that you were wearing blue pj's... and you looked gorgeous in them. Suddenly his heart began to pound through his chest, as his posture stiffened. "Sleep... together? Like... m-make love together?"

"Ah not like that!" You bashfully assured, unable to hide your shy grin. "Just... sleep together, at least for tonight."

He took a deep breath in, that sounded shaky, like the remenants of your kiss and closeness gave him the chills. The thought of you being together in the most close and intimate form made him overwhelmed, causing him to slightly tremble. Leo invoulintarily giggled, pecking a kiss against your nose, before he pulled his mask off.

"Alright." He grinned, suddenly much more eager and confident, leaning close to you as he set his mask on your night stand, switching off the light switch with a mere stretch.

Suddenly, it was dark again. But, a peaceful dark.

"Will you, Leo?" You muttered.

"Yes." He whispered, so softly and so intimately, gazing bravely into your eyes. "Yes, Y/N."

You beamed with joy, resituating to the side of your bed, curling up and watching Leo with an adorable, excited expression. Leo broke out a nervous, adorable chuckle, as he hesitantly sat down on your bed, realizing how massive he was on the size of it. He downed his tea like a shot, (wanting to finish it as fast as possible, so he could do this soft and intimate thing with you) and clearing his throat. Blushing, he slowly lied down on his back, slowly turning to his side that faced you, and hesitantly placing his hand over your shoulder, unsure of what was too much touch.

You giggled, sliding his hand on your waist, so you could sit up and pull the covers over him. "O-oh..." Leo murmured, stiffening up from his shyness.

This was very overwhelming to him, since he really liked taking things slow and was inexperienced to everything involving romance before you. But... you loved that. It was like everything was new to you again too. It endeared you beyond belief.

You lied on your side, examining his face one last time, as he examined yours, trailing your fingertip across his sharp jawline.

"I really love you..." he whispered, meaning every word.

"I really love you too, Leo." You softly agreed, as you continued to smile.

You and Leo talked quietly for a bit, sweet whispers between soulmates, as you scratched his shell and caressed his shoulders to help relieve his stress and tension. He would slowly drift off more and more, talking less and less, gifting you with tiny, soft, slow kisses, all over your face instead.

You both drifted off to sleep, and slept wonderfully side by side, as safe and sweet as can be, just the two of you.

And, as you found out in the morning, Leo was a total, clingy cuddler in his sleep. Throughout the night, he had nuzzled closer and closer, wrapping his arms around you and cradling you, until you were cozy against his body, sharing the same warmth.

💙 Sweet dreams.💙

#tmnt au #leonardo #bayverse #tmnt #leo #fictionalmenmistress #raphael #mikey #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leo #tmnt donatello #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt fluff #fluff #tmnt imagines

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mouse-fantoms · 3 years

Text

Easier Than Speaking

I just want to say that this only popped into my head because I saw @16fandomlover’s post about this. I’m the type of person to where if an idea is had then my brain will just start writing on it’s own and then I can never get it out of my head until it is written down. So without further ado, here it is!

Julie sat on her bed, criss-cross, using her binder as a hard surface to write on as she did her homework. Her dad was very clear about the whole “school-first” rule when it came to being in her own band, which was understandable. She was only in high school and she did miss the first three hours of school the night of the dance when the boys... well... ghosted her.

Once finishing her homework she could down to the garage and either hang with the guys or rehearse with them depending on if they had a gig to practice for or not. If Alex and Reggie weren’t in the studio and they didn’t have to rehearse for a gig that would be prime time for her and Luke to write together.

As she wrote the answer to the latest math problem on her paper, her phone light up besides her. A message from Flynn. She took a small moment away from her work to text back her best friend. Flynn had asked about what she saw Nick and her talk about earlier. Julie texted back and informed her of what happened about how he had asked her out but she politely declined. She saw the ‘Delivered’ message turn to ‘Read’ immediately upon sending. The light gray 3 dots appeared for a second then disappeared. She set her phone back down next to her expecting to get a reply later. When she sent it down she saw one of the guys poof to the foot of her bed from her peripheral vision.

“Oh you’re home.”

She looked up seeing it was Luke. “What are you doing here?”

“Wanted to see if you were home yet so we could write.”

“Well I am but school first.” She guestured to her homework. “Unless you want to help me with givens and proves then you can stay but until then you can wait.” She didn’t expect to get an answer.

“Givens and proves? Ugh, that’s-” the words seemed to trigger a memory for him. “Those are so annoying. If you want math help go to Alex.”

“Really?” The guy’s lives before meeting her never really came up.

Sure, she was curious but there was probably a reason for it not coming up that often. Unless it came up in conversation she knew not to press for information. She knew to keep her boundaries (unlike some people).

“Yeah and if you need science help go to Reggie, even though he says he’s not that good, he was always better at it than Alex and I ever were.”

“What about you?”

“I was always decent at English.”

She nodded in agreement. “That makes sense.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well with how you write your songs and how they turn out I can see how that could translate into an English class.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “sometimes writing is easier than speaking.”

“Speaking of writing, you can try to write something with one of the guys.” She suggested instead of him just having to wait for her.

He shook his head. “Reggie mainly wants to write country songs.”

“...Is that a bad thing?”

“What is with you two and country songs?!”

“Just give Home Is Where My Horse Is a chance.”

“He showed you it didn’t he?! I thought you would be strong.”

“Come on! Riding through trees by the river, Feel the summer breeze smile gettin’ bigger. Those are some killer lyrics.”

“It’s not even-“ he decided to let it go. “Oh! Speaking of lyrics,” he pulled something from his pocket, “I was meaning to ask you-”

She saw him unfold the paper that was folded into fourths. Her eyes went wide as she realized the writing. The handwriting on the back side of the paper was readable (so not Luke’s) and was scribbled and rushed. As if it was written in a hurry to get it out of a mind.

“Where’d you find that?” She asked hurried.

“It was on the piano.” He responded. “Was it a quick little song inspiration before school?”

“Uhh... yeah. Song... inspriation.” She agreed.

“These lyrics are-”

The anticipation for his next word worried her. Did he figure it out? He probably did. The song was very obviously about him.

“-killer.”

Oh ok, that was fine. That didn’t entirely mean that he figured it out.

Just then Julie turned her attention to her left where she heard someone poof in.

“See I told you he would be here!” Reggie told Alex next to him.

“I knew he would be but she told us to stay out of her room.” He answered.

“At least one of you understands boundaries.” She said to herself.

“What are you two doing here?” Luke looked up to see the pair.

“Seeing if you were here and not to bug Julie because she has school first to do.” Alex replied.

“Yeah I do! That’s right! I should probably finish and if I could also have that song back too,” she grabbed it from his hands, “I accidentally left it out at the piano it’s not even that... good.” She folded it back into fourths and put it on her nightstand for the time being.

“Not that good? Seriously!? What are you talking about?”

She hoped he would stop mentioning it. It made her anxious that at any point he would figure it out.

“Whoever that’s about is so lucky! If it is about anyone.”

“If?” Alex still couldn’t believe he hadn’t realized. “Really you still-” Julie gave him a glare that could rival the one of when they intruded on the family dinner the first night they’d met. “Yeah,” he immediately switched topics, “who ever that song is about is really lucky.” He ended up agreeing with Luke.

“We’re heaven on earth, melody and words” he began to sing, “Those are rad! That’s exactly why you’re a star!” She could see the look in his eyes whenever he talked about music. The fire and the passion. Also the way he lit up when he talked about her. It was one of the qualities she’d learned about him.

“...like a bright and burning one.” Reggie said under his breath which in response Julie gave the same glare she gave to Alex. Meanwhile, Luke asked what he said because he didn’t catch it.

“Uhh...” Julie giving him the death glare did not help as he thought of a response to tell him, “like always! Julie’s always a star like you always say! Yeah, always.” He looked to Julie to see if he did good and she let out a small sigh of relief.

“Always.” He gave his Luke smile to her. He finally moved away from her bed to the boys who had poofed by her closet.

As he walked over to them the front door being opened was heard and then running up the stairs which turned Julie’s attention toward her open bedroom door. Within seconds she saw Flynn rush into her room, passing right through Luke, about to start one of her rants to her.

“Woah... that is weird.” He looked to Reggie in response to being walked through. It wasn’t like last time when Julie and him were in the kitchen and she walked through him with her sandwich ingredients. It was sudden and quick.

“Right!”

“She’s determinated.” He could feel.

Flynn took a seat on Julie’s bed with her. She began going on about school as well as about band stuff to her friend, meanwhile the boys were still in her room overhearing the conversation. Considering she was talking about some stuff referring to the band maybe she would mention some other things too and it was easier staying instead of having Julie bring it up to them later.

“Speaking of that,” Flynn continued on about what she was talking about as her friend just sat and listened, “onto the other, well MAIN reason I came. Please tell me you did not decline a date with an actual person, and the actual person being Nick of all people, because of the whole Luke thing.”

Julie’s eyes went wide. “Flynn...” she said worried hoping she would hear and get the memo to stop talking.

“Luke thing?” The one who’s name was mentioned raised an eyebrow at.

“You’ve waited for it to happened for how long? Only to decline him for what? Some air-”

“Air?” The statement offended him. He turned to his friends next to him. “Am I just air?”

“Well on the techinal side-” Alex bumped Reggie in the arm alerting him to look at Julie to show him that this was not the time for their antics. She had a flustered expression as she just wanted her friend to stop talking but was not getting the memo just going on and on.

“-oh no sorry “cute air” to quote you-”

“...Flynn.” She pleaded starting to put her head in her knees.

“-like I said Luke is next level to crush on. I mean you have liked Nick for how long? And then he gets up staged by this random ghost guy. I mean don’t get me wrong they brought music back into your life and that’s amazing but to decline Nick over some dead guy. Although I get that you two clicked but you could have also had that with Nick, but I mean it has been awhile. If he asked you before class the other day, when the whole time instead of dancing with Nick you were imaging Luke, would you have said yes then? He really just has bad timing all the time now doesn’t he?”

Julie sat with her head in her knees wanting to curl into a ball from... well... a lot of things.

“Jules?” She asked. “What’s- ...the guys are here aren’t they?”

Still with her head in her knees she nodded.

“...all of them?”

She nodded once again.

She hoped it wasn’t as bad as what she thought. “...Including-”

“What else does all of them mean?” She picked her head up to look at her, trying to disregard the ghosts she saw from the corner of her eye. “There’s only 3!”

“...you know...” she sat up from the bed backing up towards the door, “I think I hear your dad calling...” when she backed up against the wall close to the door she turned around, went out the room and rounded the corner going down the staircase.

As much as she didn’t want to, there was nothing else to do but look to the boys. Alex and Reggie gave the same look of uneasiness. Meanwhile Luke was, well, stunned to say the least.

“...it’s not so bad.” Alex tried to help.

The response in the form of a look told him otherwise.

“Reg, something tells me we overstayed our welcome.”

“...yeah... hey maybe you could hang with Ray and-” Alex poofed away before Reggie could finish. “Guess it’ll just be me and Ray then.” He concluded before poofing away himself leaving the... interesting pair alone.

“...cute air?” Luke finally found the words to say.

Julie groaned as her head went to the ceiling and her body fell into the pillows behind her.

“You know that song makes a lot more sense now.”

“Yeah...” she sighed, “it does. Sometimes writing is easier than talking.”

She felt the end of her bed go down. She picked herself up to see that he had taken a seat at the edge.

“...it’s still a pretty rad song.” He kept his space from her guessing her emoions. “Reggie and Alex seemed to put it together pretty quickly.”

“I don’t get how you didn’t.”

“My guess was it was about that Nick guy.”

“I wish.” She then realized how bad that sounded. “That’s not what I-”

“It’s fine I know what you meant. Falling for some ghost probably isn’t on your bucket list.”

“Well it wasn’t but then you guys showed up.”

“Well do be fair you did call us cute.”

“You also thought I was a witch.” She brought up.

“There were chairs on the ceiling. What else is the logical explanation?”

“Maybe tying them there for storage.”

“Reggie had a very convincing arugment.”

“Argum-” she paused, “it’s Reggie! What arugment?”

“Alex said that witches don’t exist then Reggie said how they say ghosts don’t exist but here we are now.” He gestured to himself.

They shared a laughed together. This was nice. Not having any tension in the air. No akwardness. Just Julie and Luke being... Julie and Luke.

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jeonqqin · 4 years

Text

to the moon. [m]

h. jisung x reader | pregnancy au

— ❝Becoming a young mother was never your intention. But you had Jisung there with you, so it all really seemed like it would be okay.❞

WORD COUNT: 5k

CONTAINS: light smut, angst, movie spoilers(???), description of pregnancy/surgery, complications

WARNING: very mild smut, pregnancy sex, do not read if easily triggered by death and/or surgery

A/N: hope you enjoy my first blurb :)

blog masterlist | ⟲ fic song

Never once did you think you’d get pregnant so soon in life. With a belly bump that pushed against even the loosest of your sweaters, and more emotions than you knew what to do with. But after the initial shock of it all, you actually grew excited. A baby was growing inside of you, and for whatever reason, that made you feel so damn happy. Your boyfriend had to take some time to come around to the idea of being a dad at nineteen years old, but he too grew to love the little tot that made your belly round.

At three months pregnant, Jisung insisted on reading books out loud, convinced that the baby could hear him and knew the sound of daddy’s voice. So, every night before the two of you went to sleep, he opened up whatever book was on hand—it really didn’t matter what it was—and read until you fell asleep against him. It was more difficult when he was on tour, considering you were more emotional than usual and prone to outbursts that you never really meant. While traveling, he was often in a different time-zone, so he couldn’t really call at regular times, and when he did have any spare time, he’d use it to eat and sleep. You were frustrated, to say the least. But you pulled through. Thankfully one of the other members of Stray Kids—Chan, you suspected—came up with the voice memo idea. Jisung ended up sending you recordings of him just talking about nothing at all, and you’d play every new one when you woke up or when you had time.

“Hello little one, it’s your daddy. I really can’t wait to see you, so please hurry out, okay?”

You laughed, rubbing your palm over your stomach. “Don’t listen to him. Please take your time…”

“Mommy and I are ready to take such good care of you—oh, and all of your crazy uncles, of course—”

“You’re the only crazy one of us, Sungie!”

“Ah, don’t listen to him, baby. Like I said, they’re crazy.”

You smiled fondly down at your phone as you continued to listen to the boys all bicker back and forth. They really were still kids.

“Ah, shi—daddy’s got to go! Take care of mommy for me and don’t cause her too much trouble while I’m gone! Bye, my loves, I’ll see you both soon.”

And you never told Jisung, but you’d play their music out loud as you did little domestic things around the apartment. Usually, you played their upbeat music when you were doing chores; songs like Gone Days, Awkward Silence and Get Cool. But on nights you missed Jisung, you played their pretty songs. Neverending Story and Mixtape: On Track, were the baby’s favorites, you found. You swore you felt the baby kick every time, and soon came to the conclusion that Jisung was right and the baby did know daddy’s voice.

The little guy seemed to like Seungmin’s parts too—and that was also a detail you wouldn’t mention to Jisung.

At four months pregnant, you began to really crave some strange things; from peanut butter in every form, to literally slicing and eating lemons like they were oranges. Jisung put up with all of it and proved to be the perfect father and boyfriend by following every craving with you and giving up everything you couldn’t eat. You’d heard stories about husbands promising to give up alcohol and deli meats for their wives but quickly copping out after the first week—not Jisung. He stuck with you and kept going no matter how hard it was to eat a lemon with breakfast every morning. He was a determined father, and it brought you to tears one night when Stray Kids were going out to celebrate their comeback with drinks, but Jisung declined to tend to you for the night.

“Baby, wha—why are you crying, sweetheart?”

You held your face in your hands as you shook your head, doing the best you could to direct the conversation away from you. He was doing so much for you and just giving you everything you could want, but you couldn’t even listen to him for three minutes without your body giving you some sort of hell.

“I’m okay, Sungie. Just the hormones.” You sniffed, wiping at all the tears that fell down your cheeks in an attempt to stop them, but to no avail.

Jisung hummed, scooting a little closer to you on the couch. You were wearing one of his sweatshirts, which had been turning into a more common occurrence as you got more round, but he loved it. There would be no complaints on his end. It just made you look so much more soft and fluffy to him—that and the fact that you were carrying his child inside of your tummy. He was really loving the whole father thing more and more as time passed.

“Okay, baby. Come here then.” He cooed softly, pulling you into him and wrapping a blanket around the both of you. “Take a nap, for now, let it pass.”

He was really so good.

“I love you.”

He smiled, placing a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

Five months pregnant, you didn’t expect to be so horny. You were less queasy, and according to your doctor, “there was an increased amount of blood flow to your genitals.” She had said it was normal to have sex during your second trimester of pregnancy, but no matter how much you tried to convince Jisung to just fuck you he was too convinced that he’d hurt the baby somehow. And your pregnant mind decided to play a fun little game on you called, Let’s Make Y/n Insecure. So as Jisung was at the studio, you watched some sad movies and cried. Of course, it was a common activity you took part in when Jisung was gone, but it was a little different due to your newfound self deprecating thoughts. You were getting bigger and it did not make you feel sexy in any shape or form, and Jisung—someone that was so much of a horndog before your pregnancy that he would jump at the opportunity to get his dick wet at any given point in time—didn’t even want to have sex with you when you asked? It led you to believe that he didn’t think you were pretty anymore. And you ended up asking yourself, what if he was going to other girls at the company to meet his needs? Deep down, you knew he would never do such a thing to you, but you were still young and supposed to be in your prime, and your boyfriend didn’t want you. It freaked you out.

“Sweetheart, I’m home!” Jisung called from the front door, but you didn’t answer, instead, you just shoveled some more ice cream into your mouth as you watched the scene on t.v play out. Jisung frowned, placing the takeout he brought with him on the table. “Baby? You awake?”

His eyes met your form when he walked into your shared bedroom, confusion lacing his gaze. But you didn’t acknowledge him, even when he moved to sit next to you, you just continued to glare at the t.v.

“Baby, look at me,” he said, delicately cupping your cheek, but you jerked your head away. “What did I do wrong, Y/n?”

You sighed, turning to him frustratedly. “Why don’t you want to have sex with me, Jisung? Is it because of my belly? Am I not sexy anymore? Do you want to fuck other girls instead?” You threw questions at him as he stared at you with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. When he remained silent, you turned back to the movie on the screen with glassy eyes, god damn your emotions.

He panicked. “No! No, no, of course not, sweetheart!” He quickly moved to tug you into his arms, placing a soft kiss to your lips. “You’re the only one I want, and the only one I’ll ever want. Sex right now is just…”

“Gross? Weird?” You scoffed.

“Not something I thought we could do.” He confessed with a red face. “Believe it or not I’ve never gotten a girl pregnant before, and I don’t really know what precautions we need to take. The last thing I want to do is hurt either of you.”

You melted into his touch, your feeling of insecurity disappearing. “Sungie, you won’t hurt me or the baby. The doctor had specifically told me that sex was fine, she said it was normal at this point of pregnancy.”

You had to hold back a laugh as his eyes lit up immediately. “Really? It won’t hurt our baby?”

“No, Sungie.” You smiled with a giggle, kissing his lips. “Our baby will be fine.”

Suddenly, Jisung was hoisting you onto his lap with a surprising amount of strength. You could feel just how eager he was through his pants, and it brought you back to the days when you and Jisung were in such a position nearly every day. It was exciting. He groaned low in his throat as you rolled your hips against his hardening member.

“Shit, how could you think that I didn’t want to fuck you, baby? All cute with my baby in your belly.” He sighed, running his hand up your small bump and stopping on your breasts. You moaned; high and whiny due to the sensitivity of your nipples. “And your gorgeous tits.”

“Ji, I missed your hands, baby.” You whined, rubbing your palms over his hard chest.

Jisung hummed, dipping his hands under your sweater to touch your warm skin. “Yeah? You like when I touch you like this, sweetheart?”

“So much.”

“Good,” he said, rutting up against you. “Now move those cute hips for me, baby.”

In your sixth month pregnant, Jisung finally brought you over to the dorm to see the boys—or more importantly, for the boys to see you. You really were glowing; Jisung had never seen someone so beautiful in his life. With your plump belly in all its glory, the boys were ecstatic to finally see you. Jisung had held it off originally because he was nervous of their opinion and didn’t want to put you in that position—of course, he knew they wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or your feelings, but there was always that one doubt that left him hesitant. Of course, he realized how ridiculous he had been the moment you walked through the dorm doors.

Changbin and Chan had immediately tugged you to the couch as carefully as possible—even going as far as offering to carry you. But you denied with a laugh, walking to the couch just fine on your own.

“But thank you, boys.” You had squeezed their hands with a smile and nearly sent them into cardiac arrest.

“Is she only cuter because she’s pregnant?” Minho had whispered. “Is that a thing?”

Jeongin made a noise of discomfort. “I think that’s weird of you to say, Hyung.”

Throughout the evening all of the boys had stepped up to care for you; Changbin had massaged your shoulders as Hyunjin and Felix dutifully moved around the dorm to collect every pillow and blanket in sight to make a little nest around you, and Seungmin and Jeongin conversed with you while Minho and Chan were busy in the kitchen making dinner. It was a bit of a mess, but you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Hyunjin cooed over your baby bump as you ran your hand over it. “So, Y/n, have you decided—”

There was a sudden kick under your palm, causing you to jump with a small surprised “oh” leaving your lips.

The boys surrounding you looked at your stomach with awe, Jisung laughing at their bewildered faces. “It’s like you guys have never seen a pregnant woman before.”

You smiled. “Do you want to feel?”

And there was suddenly seven pairs of hands groping your stomach. It certainly was entertaining to watch them argue over who felt the kick and who was “the baby’s favorite”. They might have all been a little off their rocker, but at least you had your village to help raise your baby.

At seven months you finally decided to come up with names. Jisung expressed several times that it was his favorite part, and he had been looking forward to it for weeks. Of course, the two of you had briefly talked about the gender and names but came to the conclusion that you wanted it to be a surprise and the name thing you’d just deal with later. Well, when you finally went to Jisung to talk about names, you concluded that Jisung’s father would go through the process of finalizing the name—to respect the tradition in their family—and the two of you would pick the name yourselves. Thankfully, Jisung’s parents had been very accepting of everything so far, his mother just excited to see her grandchild and his father proud of his son for stepping up to take care of you properly.

“What about Soo—something? Or Seo? Han Soo-hyuk? Han Soo-hyun? Or just Han Soo-hun?” Jisung rambled, looking at the ceiling as you cuddled into his side. It was late at night, and neither of you could sleep, so it seemed to be a good time to talk about mindless things. “What do you think, baby?”

You hummed. “I like Soo-hyun for a boy, it’s pretty.”

Jisung smiled as he ran his palm against your belly. “And for a girl? Any ideas?”

“Eun-jin is cute. I like Ye-sung too.”

“What about Ji-hyun?”

“Han Ji-hyun.” You smiled, stroking his cheek. “Yeah, I really like that one.”

On your eighth month of pregnancy, your food cravings shifted over to movie cravings. For some strange reason, you had the urge to watch every Disney and Pixar movie you could get your hands on. It was a flashback to childhood for sure, and you’d just spend days watching Disney princesses until Jisung got home and encouraged you to go for a walk with him for some exercise. Jisung himself was convinced it was all in your head and the baby fever was just hitting you extra hard, but he never once complained. He just sat back in bed with you and watched every movie that you put on.

“How about Beauty and the Beast?” You asked, scrolling through the countless amount of movies on the screen.

“Y/n, we literally watched that last week.” Whined Changbin from the foot of the bed, his legs kicking up behind him like a child. “I don’t want to sit through another session of you pointing at the screen and saying, omg that little cup looks just like Jeonginnie!—OW.”

He reeled back away from Hyunjin’s swinging arm. “You’re just upset that she called you Gaston’s tiny sidekick, knowing full well that you are.”

“At least I wasn’t compared to a gay-ass candlestick.”

You giggled as the boys bickered, all of them throwing comments about how their assigned characters were better than the others, even Jisung chimed in how “unfair” it was that Chan got to be the beast and he was stuck being compared to Gaston.

“Well, it’s pretty true, Sungie.” You cooed, stroking his cheek. “Chan’s way more of a prince type.”

Chan winked cheekily at his friend from his place on the floor.

“It doesn’t matter who’s who—” Seungmin started.

“—you can’t say shit, clock-boy—”

“—just pick another movie,” Seungmin said, raising his middle finger towards Changbin.

So you settled on the movie Inside Out, a cute Pixar film with lots of colorful characters that caught your eye. None of you had seen it, so it was an easy decision. But it still hadn’t stopped you from dubbing each boy as a respectable character every five minutes.

“Oh my god,” you gaped as the character that called himself Bing Bong. “Jisung, that is you.”

The room erupted into laughter at your words, Minho even going as far as falling off the end of the bed. Jisung looked at you with an open mouth, in utter shock.

“Him?! The fat pink elephant? You think I look like a fat pink elephant?”

“She’s right! You do look like that guy!” Seungmin snorted through his laugh, falling into Jeongin for support.

“He’s just goofy, baby. It reminds me of you.”

For the majority of the movie after that, Jisung pouted, his head resting against your chest. Your boyfriend really acted like a child at points, and his dynamic personality only made you love him more. So, every time he huffed, you just giggled and ran your fingers through his hair exactly how he liked. But strangely enough, he started to get too committed to the movie to pout, his eyes never leaving the screen as the scenes became more intense.

Especially when the so-called “fat pink elephant” sacrificed himself to save the main character from being forgotten forever. Unfortunately, you were already an emotional wreck, so it didn’t take much for you to break down, but as the sound of sniffles filled the room, you figured the rest of the boys were in the same boat. And the damn Bing Bong guy was like Jisung—the most loyal person you knew, positive even the hardest of times, and too selfless for his own good. The love of your life was more than just self-sacrificing; he’d give everything up for his family.

“Go save Riley!”

The room fell silent for only a second, everyone holding their breath as the inevitable played out. Jisung held you closer with glassy eyes, his cheek unknowingly pressing harder against your breasts. From the corner of your eye, you saw Hyunjin cling to Felix like Velcro, the two holding each other close as they watched the screen. And there was Seungmin and Changbin at the end of the bed, their legs tangled together and their intertwined hands discreetly tucked between them. Chan’s fingers were threaded in Jeongin’s hair as the younger leaned against their leader’s legs, and Minho smiled at the screen softly, his eyes holding something both sad and happy as he watched the movie. You smiled too, tears slowly covering your cheeks.

“Take her to the moon for me, okay?”

You pressed a small kiss to your boyfriend’s forehead as you felt him let out a brief sob against your chest.

For the first time of your pregnancy, you felt comfortable looking around at your crazy little family and thinking, “yeah, your baby was going to be just fine”.

To say that everyone was ready for you to go into labor early would’ve been a complete lie. Everyone was ready for you to go to the hospital on time, so Jisung obviously reacted with a little panic when you announced that your water broke and a rough pain settled in your side. He was quick to your side, his phone already pressed to his ear as he directed you to sit down—whatever fluid that got on the couch be damned. He called his parents, shouting that you were in labor and needed to go to the hospital, so they quickly responded and told him they’d be there in five minutes. So then he called Chan to spit out the news—and the speed that his words left his mouth could’ve competed with the pace of his raps—before hoping his friend had been able to decipher his words and hanging up. Of course, everything afterward went to plan—you were screaming in pain while Jisung held your hand in his while his parents drove you both to the hospital. But you did just as the doctors told you; you pushed and pushed, Jisung still gripped onto your hand, albeit you both looked pale as hell, but you were able to push one last time and see your baby—your baby girl.

“Congratulations mom and dad, it’s a beautiful little girl.”

She was carefully placed in your arms, and god you knew then and there that you would endure another nine months of torture for your daughter in a heartbeat. She was beautiful.

Jisung lifted his palm to caress the small head of your daughter, he had tears shining in his eyes as he looked at his two worlds in front of him. “Baby, look at her. She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

You smiled with heavy eyes. “Our little girl.” Despite all the energy having been zapped out of you and the killer cramps, you couldn’t look away. “She has your eyes, Sungie…”

Jisung felt a tear drop down his cheek as he laughed. “She sure does. And your lips, and Chan’s eyebrows, and Minho’s nose, and Jeongin’s little dimples, and Felix’s cheeks, thank god she doesn’t look like Changbin—oh wait.”

You laughed, resting your head against his. “Our little family.”

“Han Ji-hyun.”

“Yeah,” you smiled, feeling consciousness slowly slip away from you. “I really like that name, Sungie—”

Your eyes then slipped shut, and Jisung frowned, immediately holding your cheek in his hand. “Hey, sweetheart, what—?” But he was interrupted by a low groan that left your lips, your body twisting in a way that suddenly brought panic to the staff in the room. Slowly the heart-rate monitor’s beeping became incessant and rang louder in his ears as the nurses in the room called for a doctor, taking the newborn from your arms. Suddenly, the room was filled with a chaos that Jisung couldn’t keep up with.

“The patient just had a seizure, get her on a breathing tube immediately.”

“Get it down her throat—”

“Is it eclampsia or HELLP syndrome?”

“There’s no time to take the tests, doctor. Her liver has inflamed at a rapid pace.”

“Get magnesium sulfate in her IV now!”

“Baby?” Jisung whispered, tugging your hand into his as nurses attempted to usher him out of the room. “Baby, open your eyes and look at me, please—”

“Sir, we need you to—”

“Tell me what’s wrong with her!”

But they pushed on. “You need to leave the room, sir.”

You cried out as another convulsion wracked through your weak body, and Jisung felt his heart shatter at the sight. His hand reached out to grip your hand, feeling your shaky fingers intertwine with his as you released a whimper. You were looking paler and paler by the second, doctors and nurses rushing around doing things that Jisung could never even guess, but he didn’t care. You were the only thing he had his sights on.

“S-Sungie,” you choked like you were freezing, your lips quivering. “Our baby—where’s my baby? What happened to my baby?” You yelled, pushing violently against the hands of the doctors.

Jisung felt wetness on his cheeks. “Baby, she’s fine. Our baby’s fine, sweetheart.” He lifted your clammy hand to his lips. He was helpless as the nurses attempted to guide him away from you, all he could do was watch as you struggled and fought hysterically. “Come on, Y/n. Please come back to me, sweetheart…”

You shrieked in pain once again as you thrashed in a doctor's hold, nonsense about them taking your baby was spilling from your lips.

“Induce her!”

Jisung’s eyes widened as a nurse pushed past him, quickly injecting something into your IV. It physically hurt him to watch as you slowly fell limp against the hospital bed, your eyes lazily gazing at him.

“Y/n?” His voice was shaking, he knew. “Please baby—”

“Sungie.” You sighed, your fingers twitching in his grip and your head lolling to the side. “You saw her right?”

Jisung nodded, raising your hand to his face, moving your palm to cup his cheek. “She’s beautiful, sweetheart. Our baby is so beautiful.” He smiled.

Your eyelids dropped as you hummed. “Please, Sungie—” You had to peel your eyes back open, looking at the man you fell in love with, with a smile. He had been so good to you, even before you found out that you were carrying his baby. Maybe you were just kids, but you knew you loved him, and you knew he loved you. And there was no doubt in your mind that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. Your sweet little girl could become anything she wanted, and you wanted to watch that. Surely with a family like yours, she would thrive in a loving environment, and there would never be a moment where she would be unloved. With your boys there for her—with Jisung there for her, you knew she’d be just fine. You wanted to watch him grow with Stray Kids, while your child grew beside them. Maybe you still could. “Look at me.”

Jisung’s lip wobbled as he looked up from your interlocked fingers. Your hands were too cold.

So you inhaled deeply as unconsciousness slowly took over and waves of nausea pounded against your head. But you pushed through to look at Jisung—the man you knew would give your baby girl a life to be excited to live. “Take her to the moon for me, Sungie.”

Never once did Jisung think he’d be a dad so soon in life. With a pregnant girlfriend that played his songs for their baby to hear and stole his clothes on the daily. But after the initial shock of it all, he grew excited. He was going to start a family with a woman he’d loved, and no matter how much he thought about the consequences, he was the happiest man alive. Granted, he had to take some time to come around to the idea of being a dad at nineteen years old, but he too, grew to love both the woman bearing his child and the baby inside.

At three years old, Han Ji-hyun looked just like her mother. Precious in every way, shape, and form. Stray Kids looked after her like they were her own parents; uncles in the strangest forms. Chan wasn’t afraid to take her to his studio when it was his turn to watch her, because somehow she knew not to make a sound when he was working. Minho stepped in as Ji-hyun’s mother figure—making her meals, cleaning her up, and simply teaching her about the little things in life. Changbin was the most hesitant to find a role in the little girl’s life, but eventually, he became her favorite uncle in terms of how he showed his love. Hyunjin took her everywhere he could go, solely because he knew how much you liked to see places and found the similar trait in Ji-hyun. Felix was her best friend in the world and she was his, and he didn’t care about what anyone thought of their relationship. Seungmin taught her life lessons every child needed to learn, like how to use the bathroom on her own, how to write her name, how to ride a bike, and countless other things. Jeongin—surprisingly enough—acted as her protector; nothing was going to harm Ji-hyun while Jeongin was alive and he swore to that the day she was born. But they’d all give anything for their precious girl.

Just how you did.

Jisung was her father—and an amazing one at that. Ji-hyun was a daddy’s girl from the very beginning, never once wanting to leave his side. He wanted to do exactly what you wished for, because he wasn’t one to hold grudges or muddle over things for too long, and as your last wish of him, there was no way he’d deny the love of his life anything. Ji-hyun was his whole world. And it didn’t hurt to see you every time he looked at her. Jisung was happy to have a part of you with him, and he knew that you would’ve never wanted it any other way. You were so strong, it baffled him. Ji-hyun was just the same.

“Daddy, can you put on mommy’s movie?”

Jisung was caught off-guard when he looked up from his laptop to see his three year old still up and not in bed. It was way past her bedtime and he knew she’d be tired in the morning, but the way she looked at him made him weak. He sighed. “Get in bed.”

Ji-hyun giggled as she climbed onto Jisung’s large bed, nearly being swallowed by all the blankets. Jisung smiled at her excitement, peeling off his jacket and shoes before taking a seat next to her. Immediately, she crawled into his arms, her head resting on his chest.

By the age of three, Ji-hyun knew all the words to Inside Out by heart. It was a movie she associated with her mother and went to it for comfort at times. So did Jisung, if he was being honest.

She pointed at the screen. “There’s mommy.”

Jisung smiled as his daughter pointed towards the blue-haired character—Joy. And he couldn’t help but agree. “There’s mommy.”

Absentmindedly, Jisung toyed with the engagement ring that sat, snug around his ring finger. It was a beautiful ring, one that confused most people that saw it. The ring was in fact, yours. You just never got the chance to see it, since he had kept in his pocket for nine months too long—never able to ask.

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ttttaehyungie · 4 years

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sincerely, but no longer yours | chapter 3

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sincerely, but no longer yours | ex!kim namjoon x reader

genre | angst, exes au

summary | It started as a coping mechanism as getting the words out provided a form of catharsis. But now you can’t stop writing these love letters, even with the knowledge that they’ll never get sent. After all, who writes love letters to their ex?

word count | 3.9k

chapter rating | PG-13

warnings | none

a/n | here we gooooo!! part threeeee c: can’t believe I actually churned this out when my life has been in c h a o s also this is barely edited im so sorry

Percussive knocks rap crisply on your apartment door. You fling the door open and your heart leaps in your chest at the sight. There he stands.

Up and rising dance instructor. Groove personified. Ball of literal sunshine.

And in your experience, the best big brother on the planet.

The overnight bag hits the wooden floor with a hollow thud as he abandons it in favor of yanking you into a tight embrace. A grin widens on your face that you're certain mirrors his.

"Hoseok," you breathe into his chest, your face smushed against his oversized yellow shirt. The enveloping warmth of his arms around you has you melting. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you more. Let me take a good look at you." He puts you at arm's length. "You've grown so much in the time we've been apart."

"Hoseok." You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face doesn’t falter. "It's only been a month."

"Hey. A lot happens in a month."

The truth of his words, unknown to him but oddly relevant nonetheless, has you biting your lip before you can stop yourself.

"Here, I'll help you with your bag," you say, hauling the duffel bag off the ground, giving you something else to look at. You can only hope that Hoseok hasn't already picked up on the nervous blips. "It's been a long ride for you."

"And they say chivalry is dead," he jokes, but follows after you without further comment. Guess you're in the clear.

But you steer the conversation to a topic that you know will engross him for sure. Y’know. Just in case.

"So, what classes did you sign up for this weekend?" you ask over your shoulder, managing a tone so casual that you celebrate internally.

"You'll never believe it.” The words come tumbling out, voice shimmering with excitement. Even without turning to look at him, you can picture the way his eyes are surely set alight. You know this tone, and it has you hooked now, the anticipation of amazing news builds in your chest. "Y'know that choreographer, Jo? The one that's completely booked out every single weekend?”

You nod quickly, turning to look at him with wide eyes.

“Well.” The smugness in his tone is thick. “Guess who got a slot for her class!”

Genuine surprise elicits a gasp from you. "No way! How'd you even manage that?"

"Hard work and sheer determination.” A fist pump punctuates his words. “I camped on the booking site on multiple devices with multiple accounts so I could snag a spot the moment the slots open."

You snort at his antics.

"I can't believe I'm going to be learning from such a giant in the industry," he says, unable to resist breaking into a little dance as he pushes the door to the study cum guest room open. "It feels like I've won the freaking lottery."

The effervescent excitement is uncontainable. Even the task of unpacking can’t interrupt his rave about the choreographer who shot to cyber fame with her fluid movements. You let him let it loose, leaning against the doorway, watching him.

"Ok," he says, putting his hands on his hips. "That's enough about me. How did your lecture go today?"

The breath catches in your lungs, the shock of seeing Namjoon coming back in a second wave.

“It was alright,” you attempt to mask it in the same casual tone you mustered up just minutes ago. But there’s an unmistakable tightness to your words.

Hoseok’s eyes bore into you. Damn. There’s no escaping now.

“____?” he probes, his tone laced with the same concern lying in his gaze.

"Hey, um," you rub at your arms, "we have an unexpected dinner guest tonight. Is that ok with you?"

“____,” he repeats, firmer this time. “What happened?"

You exhale heavily, grounding yourself with the feel of the carpet underneath your scrunched up toes as you tell him, "I bumped into Joon today. At the lecture."

Chancing a glance at him to gauge his reaction, you watch as he schools his features into an expressionless mask. But his eyes widen by just a fraction, betraying his surprise as he processes the information.

After a second, he nods stiffly, and turns back to the duffel bag on the bed to take the last of his belongings out. His tone is measured and even as he asks, "How was it?"

The plush mattress provides you marginal comfort as you plop onto the bed next to him.

"Honestly? Like a punch in the gut." The laugh that escapes you is bitter. "When will I stop being winded just by the mere sight of him, Hobi?"

The smile he shoots you is empathetic but sad. He reaches over to muss up your hair, the action tender and fond. "It'll happen in time," he promises.

The restrictive tightness in your chest is uncomfortable and you attempt to expel it in a sigh as you lean backwards, propped up by the elbow. Staring at your toes as if they’re a source of endless fascination gives you an excuse not to look your brother in the eye.

“But would you care to explain what convinced you to invite him to dinner?”

“Hobi… I just…” Your back hits the mattress as you flop back entirely, groaning up at the ceiling. No choice but to spit the truth out now. “His eyes, they just do things to me.”

Craning your neck to look at him, regret hits you when you catch sight of his frown. You drop your head back down. The ceiling's a much better option to look at.

“You have a soft spot for him.” It’s less a question and more a statement. A statement that you assent to with a strangled noise.

“Look. I get it. It’s just, I worry for you. The state you were in when you came back that night…” This time, he lets out a sigh of his own. The bed shifts, accommodating his weight where he takes a seat next to you. "You were a wreck, ____.” He shakes his head, his brow furrowed. “I don't want to have to relive those days.”

He’s not speaking out of turn. Guilt gnaws at you and you turn your head to face the wall. Bringing Namjoon back into your life implicated Hoseok too. Your brokenness had not been yours to bear alone. On the nights when you felt like you were falling apart, it was your brother who’d held you as you sobbed damp spot after damp spot into his t-shirts.

“Do you think it's too soon?” Your voice sounds small even in your ears. “Even though it's been years?”

“I can’t answer that for you, ____.”

You remain quiet, still staring at the blank wall.

“Well." He slaps his hands on his thighs and hauls himself off the bed, breaking the silence. "I owe him a long overdue meet-up anyway. He's been bugging me to have a meal together with him for the longest time now- which is next to impossible, y’know, with the way the studio just keeps getting busier and busier.”

A hand enters your field of vision, outstretched and waiting. "Dinner?"

You grasp it and he pulls you up. His grip is a firm anchor, both physically and emotionally.

"Dinner," you echo. "I can do this."

You can’t do this.

Whatever idealism you had possessed an hour ago within the safe confines of your apartment was gone now, mellowed out and boiled down to unforgiving reality.

At least you have Hoseok.

Despite your earlier hesitation to tell your brother about the events that had transpired through the day, you're now relieved you did and infinitely thankful for his presence. If any iciness remains from whatever lingering unsaid tension that exists between you and Namjoon, it quickly melts away under the warmth that is Hoseok's affability.

It was awkward at first, no doubt. As you slid into the booth to sit across Namjoon, it definitely didn’t escape your attention how he was unable to keep eye contact with you, his shifty eyes stoking the nervousness that simmered in the pit of your stomach.

The conversation had been polite but stiff, filled with small talk about each other’s jobs. As if you didn’t already know all about how he’d made it as a published author from all the times you eavesdropped on Hobi’s phone calls. He was in the middle of narrating his book’s main plot when your mind’s eye jumped, involuntarily, to the books guiltily buried away in the corner of your closet underneath a bunch of t-shirts. It was an impulse buy, you lie to yourself.

Yes, you’ve read his books. Multiple times. Pored over every word and analyzed every character in search of snippets of yourself. Hoping to know whether he’s forgotten you and moved on from you or whether he’s still affected by the breakup in the same way you don’t dare to admit that you are.

But that’s just in your times of weakness. Everyone has those, you reason, and you’re allowed to too.

Make no mistake- you did get over Namjoon. The box of letters sits in your desk drawer as the fruits of that. There’s a reason why you can’t bring yourself to dump those letters out after all these years. They’re unfiltered and ugly and raw, but they’re an archive of the journey you went through. You’re over it.

Or you were over it. Being in this city and seeing him triggers something in you and seems to throw you back a couple of steps somehow.

Maneuvering your way through the exchange, carefully feigning ignorance about the plot of his novels, you were walking a tightrope. But thankfully, before you could get caught in your self-spun web of lies, the conversation takes a sharp left.

In a sudden outburst of, “Why are we speaking as if we’re at some corporate networking event?!” accompanied by a smack on the table, Hoseok shattered the cordial but fake and, frankly, uncomfortable atmosphere that had settled over the booth. The three of you broke into genuine laughter for the first time in the evening. And finally, the dinner conversation took a more casual and informal turn.

In spite of your wariness, the pull that Hoseok’s words exerted was irresistible and you found yourself gradually loosening up. It began with unbidden smiles that progressed to quiet giggles- not unlike the one that followed Hoseok’s earlier outburst- that quickly gave way to carefree and unfiltered laughter.

And now?

"Remember when you broke the swingset at our house?" Hoseok jabs his fork at Namjoon who sits across from him at the table.

"That was not on me,” he quips. “That swingset was rickety before I sat on it."

Your throat constricts around your food slightly painfully with the way you gulp down your food to interject, "No way, Joon. We only had that swingset for two weeks before you broke it."

Hoseok nods in corroboration, his features colored in a grave seriousness. “She’s right. I remember my joy on that swingset being extremely short-lived.”

"Can't believe you care more about that swingset than me." Namjoon pouts. "My butt was bruised for at least a week from that accident."

But Hoseok dismisses this with a wave of his hand. "Bruises heal. Swingsets don't."

You smile around the rim of your glass, taking a swig. Cheeks sore with how much you’ve been smiling, you think, you really can’t do this.

You've missed this. You’ve missed the days filled with this innocent and untroubled feeling of happiness. When it was just this pair of best friends and you were the little sister that just tagged along at first, but got pulled in as a real member of the trio. You were the little sister that Hobi adored, and the little sister that Joon had always wished he'd had, and you looked up to both of them so much.

The playful teasing between mouthfuls of food and the easy laughter shared as all three of you let loose over a couple drinks has you warming up in a way that's not just from the alcohol.

You’ve missed this. But you can’t.

You glance upwards and the softness in Namjoon’s eyes all crinkled up by his beaming smile has you realizing just how much you’ve missed him. But you can’t, you can’t, you ca-

Next to you, Hoseok’s movements interrupt your internal self-admonishment. He sets his utensils down with a clang on his empty plate. "Hey, I’ll go pick up the bill."

"Let me." Namjoon fumbles for his wallet as he gets on his feet. But Hoseok puts a hand on his shoulder to sit him back down.

"Nah man, you paid the last time and I've been meaning to give ____ a treat too. This one's on me."

Hoseok disappears off to settle the bill, leaving just you and Namjoon. In stark contrast to his earlier inability to maintain eye contact, he’s now staring intently at you. The intensity of his gaze has your cheeks growing warm.

It’s your turn to struggle with eye contact. Unsure what to do with your hands or where to look, you're just about to succumb to the urge to start fidgeting when Namjoon sighs, inciting a stolen glance at him. His gaze is on his hands now where they sit on the table, a gentle smile gracing his features.

"I've missed this,” he says softly.

You can’t, you can’t, you can’t.

"Me too," you admit. You’re weak.

His gaze darts back upwards to look you in the eyes, and your heart rate picks up.

“I've missed you.”

It’s shy. It’s barely audible. But you catch it. It startles your heart into a racing pulse, pounding in your ribcage.

"Namjoon.” You don’t miss the way his face falls slightly at how you revert to his full name. “You can't-"

He leans forward as he shakes his head. "I'm not... I..." He cuts himself off with a huff of frustration. His long fingers tap rapidly on the table the way they always do when he’s collecting his thoughts.

"I'm really sorry for what happened, ____.” His eyes bore into yours with a pleading sincerity that has your hands fidgeting under the table and out of sight. “I'm really sorry that things ended the way they did. And I know I don't deserve to be asking this, ____. But I've really missed... all this." He gestures to the booth, to your trio. "And I guess what I'm asking is, will you forgive me? And... will it be okay to see you again? Just as friends. Nothing more."

You can’t. You can’t. You can’t.

You fold your hands in your lap, still hidden away from sight so he can’t see the nervous energy they exude as you deliberate your next words carefully.

"Joon, you really hurt me the last time. Really deeply.” The temptation to avert your gaze is immense, but you power through. But that leaves you to witness the flicker of guilt in his eyes. “And as nice as tonight was, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to have you back in my life completely yet."

“Ok, I understand. That's fair. I have no rights to make any demands on you when things ended the way they did.”

His eyes are downcast and he trails off into silence.

But just as you’re about to heave a sigh of relief, thinking he’s dropped it, he starts again, the hesitation clear in his shaky voice, "Can I give you my number? So you can think it over and text me if you ever want to be friends again. Like what you said, tonight was really nice."

His hand hovers over where your phone sits on the table, tentative without your go-ahead.

“Or you can just decide to throw it out and delete me from your life forever,” he begins rambling nervously. “I'll respect that too. I just can't leave things the way they are without doing anything I can to attempt to make reconciliation happen.”

You can’t. You can’t. You can’t.

That’s when you make the fatal mistake of looking him in the eye. The way he's looking at you…

You can’t. Or can you?

Like what you told Hoseok, you’re close to powerless when Namjoon looks at you like that.

Relenting, you flip his hand around and place your phone into his waiting palm.

"Okay. Fine. I'll think about it."

"Thank you,” he says breathily. His dimpled smile and eyes aglow send your heartbeat stuttering.

As Namjoon's keying his phone number into your phone, Hoseok returns. The action doesn't go unnoticed by him, and the way he eyes your phone in Namjoon's hands has you squirming in your seat slightly. But Namjoon, gleeful with the hope of possible reconciliation, is none the wiser.

You, meanwhile, know that you’re in for a lot of explaining.

“It’s just a number, Hoseok,” you say the moment the subway pulls out of the station and away from Namjoon’s waving figure. It’s been sitting heavy on your tongue ever since the restaurant, and you take the first chance you get to spit it out. Never has the walk from the diner to the station felt so long.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah,” you fold your arms, stumbling slightly on the rickety carriage, but you maintain your indignant expression, “but your look said everything.”

You exhale heavily as you grip back onto the grab pole. You continue, softer this time, “He’s just asking to be friends.”

Hoseok purses his lips and the silence sits for a moment.

“What are you thinking?” he eventually asks.

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “It’s just… a lot. What happened between us was a lot.”

You clear your throat and continue, “But the years of friendship in our little trio were a lot too. And tonight was a huge reminder of how good things used to be… of how good things could be.”

“So, what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.” You repeat, looking back at Hoseok now. “What should I do?”

“I can’t decide that for you.”

What a classic Hoseok response. Why did you even ask?

“He’s genuinely sorry,” you murmur, speaking more to yourself than to your brother.

“He is,” Hoseok affirms, his eyes softening now as he nods in agreement.

“And it’ll be just friends, nothing more.” Again, you’re not entirely sure of whether your words are meant to be consoling your brother or yourself.

“Do you want that? Being friends with him again and having him in your life again?”

Do you?

You try to consider it rationally, you really do.

But the emotions overtake you. Perhaps it’s from tonight’s dinner, a sampling of what it’d be like to have him as a friend again. Perhaps it’s the recognition of how wasteful it truly is to dump decades of friendship out the window.

Or perhaps it’s the revelation that you could never be angry with Namjoon, as much as you want to be. And you really want to be. He deserves it. After the way he let your relationship end without putting up a fight, after he left you shattered and the way you had to piece yourself back together shard by shard in the aftermath, he deserves your wrath.

But you can’t do it.

Especially not now when his repentance is so sincere. Not when he’s earnestly trying to make things right.

So do you want him back in your life? It’s irrational, it’s dumb, it’s risky, but you honestly could never help yourself when it comes to Namjoon.

“Yes,” you decide. “I’ve missed him, Hobi. I know it’s dumb to miss him after all these years and after what he did, but I still do.”

Hoseok slings an arm around you and pulls you into his chest. “Yeah, it’s pretty dumb,” he says, and you snort as you swat at his chest. “But if that’s how you feel, then that’s how you feel.”

“It’s been so strange,” comes your quiet admission. “He’s just always been there, y’know? And not having him around feels like having a limb missing.”

“Mmhm.” It’s barely a sound, but you know it’s Hoseok’s way of saying he understands, and it fills you with a deep sense of assurance and validation.

The train pulls to a stop, and you realize with a jolt that it’s your station. Reluctantly, you pull away from the hug and tug Hoseok out the doors. “C’mon.”

The apartment is just a few streets down from the station and, with your hands stuffed into the pockets of your jacket, your fists rubbing against the rough denim, you walk along silently. The sound of Hoseok’s footsteps beside you fades into rhythmical ambient noise the deeper you fall into thought.

It’s when you’re unlocking the door to your apartment, keys jangling, that Hoseok asks the very same question that you’ve been mulling over on the walk back.

“Can you forgive him?”

It’s surprising. Even to you. You always imagined it’d play out in either one of two ways- cutting words or punishing silence. But now that the moment has really arrived, you realize just how willing you are to extend forgiveness to him.

“I think I have to,” you begin slowly. “Not for him, but for me, y’know?” You nod, your certainty growing as you verbalize your thoughts. “Yeah. I have to do this. It’s getting tiring carrying all this resentment and bitterness around.”

The lock clicks open and you move to enter the apartment.

“Hey,” Hoseok says, placing a hand on your shoulder gently that has you pausing. “Whatever decision you make, just know that I support you.”

You wrap your brother in a quick side-hug. “Thanks, Hobi. That means a lot to me.”

Rolling over to switch your alarm off, you nestle back under the covers to catch a few more winks.

That’s when it all comes rushing back to you, and your initial plan to snooze is screwed. Did all that really happen? Did you really sit down to have dinner with Namjoon?

And did you really not reject his attempt at a peace offering? Young ____ would be so disappointed.

It feels a little unbelievable. I mean, sure, you’ve run into him more than a couple of times now. But never would you have imagined you would have him truly in your life again.

That is- if you would let him in. You haven’t replied to him, wanting to sleep on your decision for extra clarity.

Clarity, your ass. Through the thick fog of heavy sleep, it all feels like it could be nothing more than a fever dream.

But you can hear Hoseok’s snoring coming from the next room. And the memories of last night- the yellow lighting of the diner, the overly salty fries you kept picking at regardless, the jab of Hobi’s elbow into your side as he teased you, the way your sides ached from laughing so hard, the way those obsidian eyes pulled you in as they set on you from across the table- they’re too vivid to be made up.

And the one thing that will conclusively prove it- you prop yourself up to scroll through your contacts list. There. Sitting in your contacts is his name. The name you’d deleted off your phone all those years ago in a fit of anger, but now restored to its rightful place.

[8.03am] ____: hey joon, it’s ____.

You chew on your lip as you type and delete and re-type and repeat.

[8.07am] ____: do you have any plans for today? wanna do something?

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skieswords · 3 years

Text

Pull Through Part 4

Please make sure you read the trigger warnings in part 1- there is mention of drug use in this chapter❤️

Becca was sat in the passenger seat of Alex's car, feet up on the dash, drumming her fingers in time with the radio. Reggie and Luke were play fighting in the backseat, forcing Alex to lean over every now and again to separate them so he didn't crash. "I'll drop Bex off first and then we'll head to Reg's, alright?" Silence from the backseat, followed by a sly "Alex?" from Luke, made Becca raise her eyebrows, and she turned to face the boys in the back. "Let's take her. It's not fair to leave her out, she rocked it tonight." Becca frowned and looked to her brother, who's knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel strong enough she feared it might break.

"She's 15. No." Becca brought a knee up to her chest and smirked as Reggie piped up. "She's 16 tomorrow." Luke nodded frantically, and leant through the gap. "Cmon Alex, just this once." Alex closed his eyes and groaned, slamming his head against his seat. "Fine, but if anything happens I'm killing you both." Becca looked to Luke questioningly, but he winked again, and disappeared into the back, celebrating with Reggie rather loudly. Alex looked at her, clearly in distress, and turned left, back towards Reggie's. "Don't say a word to mom or dad, okay?" Becca snorted and sat up, excited to see what the boys were referring to. "Who do you take me for?" Reggie laughed, and leaned through the gap to crank up the music, forcing Alex and Becca to listen to him and Luke duet American Idiot from the backseat, until Becca joined in, nodding her head in time with the music and miming the guitar part. Luke watched her, a soft smile resting on his face. Reggie watched Luke watching her, and hoped for possibly the 47th time that night alone, that they'd cut the shit and speak to each other.

They pulled up to Reggie's, and piled out of the car, carrying guitars and amps into the studio, Luke grabbing an amp from Becca after watching her nearly drop it 4 times. "Here, you're going to hurt yourself." She rolled her eyes but smiled gratefully, dropping onto the couch beside him when they'd finished. "So what now?" Luke glanced up at Alex, reaching a hand out. "We celebrate the same way after every gig. It's tradition." Becca nodded and watched as her brother reached into his bag, looking less than happy, and slightly ashamed. Her eyes grew as a small bag was produced, watching as her normally well behaved older brother held out a lighter too, rubbing his forehead as he caught Becca's stare. "It's only after gigs, Bex, I swear." Luke snorted and took the lighter and the bag, reaching under a cushion on the sofa and pulling rolling paper out of nowhere. "For him, anyway." Becca was totally lost for words. Her friends from skating smoked often, and she'd tried it a few times, but not so much lately. She was too scared her dad would smell it on her clothes. Her eyes followed Luke's fingers as they deftly rolled up one, two, three joints, holding them up for Alex and Reggie. "Uh, a whole one's probably too much for you. You can share Alex's?" Becca looked up at Alex, to find him frowning, holding the joint away from her protectively. "Or not." Luke slid up the couch so their legs touched, and reached for the lighter sat on the table. She was utterly entranced, watching as he placed the joint in between his lips and lit it, taking a deep breath, inhaling and holding it for a moment, before breathing out. "No, Luke. I said she could be here but I don't want her-" He was cut off as Luke held it out for her with a defiant look, groaning and shaking his head as he took a toke of his own joint. Becca reached for it, her hand trembling slightly. "Here." He held it to her lips, nodding that she should inhale. She did, grimacing slightly as the bitter taste of tobacco hit the back of her throat, combined with the familiar woody taste. Her eyes met Luke's, who's hand still held the joint at her lips. She breathed in again, like she'd seen him do, and held his gaze, until she felt slightly dizzy, breathing out. His eyes darkened, watching the drug cloud over her eyes, her pupils dilating and her face relaxing in bliss. Yet again, Luke couldn't tear his eyes away from her, as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, enjoying the fuzzy feeling in her brain. "Feels good, right?" Luke's voice sounded like honey in her ear, and the sensation of his breath on her skin drove Becca insane. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, glancing at him and licking her lips lightly. Her eyes followed his hands, as he took another toke, his eyes fluttering shut as the drugs entered his system. Becca watched as he sat back on the couch, not moving from her side. The other boys were in silent bliss, Reggie splayed out on the floor with his head resting on the arm of Alex's chair. Becca locked eyes with Luke as he held the joint to her lips again, the coarse skin of his thumb bumping against her jawline gently. Becca leaned into his touch subconsciously, smiling lightly as he moved his hand away reluctantly, to take another drag. "Yo stop with the soft porn you two, it's weird." Becca turned to face Reggie, who's eyes were already rimmed red, and who clearly lost his filter when high. Alex was trying to look horrified, but obviously the weed had clouded his brain slightly, keeping him from reacting too harshly, choosing to point an accusing finger towards him instead. "No sex jokes, Reg." Reggie pointed to the clock on the wall with a heavy arm, and smiled up at Alex. "She's 16 now, we can do what we want." Luke turned to face the clock, his tolerance clearly higher than that of the boys, who were halfway through their own joints. His and Becca's was nearly finished, with him taking three puffs to her one. Sure enough, it was just after midnight, and she was 16. "Happy birthday Bex." He turned to look at her, his green eyes wide and glittering, mirroring the smile she flashed him as she stood up, and stretched like a cat. Luke's eyes grew dark as her top rode up, and her bare stomach was exposed, and he mentally kicked himself, not for the first time that night, for the direction of his thoughts. He tried to blame it on the drugs, and told himself it would be gone in the morning, but something deep inside of him knew that was bullshit. Alex rose from his chair and strolled towards Becca, pulling her into a bear hug, and kissing her hair. "Happy birthday sis. Love you." Becca smiled into his chest and hugged him around his waist, squeezing tightly. He eventually released her, giving her a gentle push towards where Reggie had staggered to his feet. He pulled her into him, swaying her back and forth with a dreamy smile. "Happy birthday Bexy. We love you. You're awesome. You should join the band. Alex, can she join the band? She should join the band." Becca laughed and raised her eyebrows at him, leading him to the couch and giving him a shove until he landed next to Luke. Luke grimaced slightly and took Reggie's face in his hands, slapping his cheeks gently to try and sober him up. Alex laughed softly and collapsed back into his chair with a groan, his eyes fluttering shut. Becca was pretty sure he was asleep, and sent a glance over to Luke, who was gently resting Reggie's head against the back of the couch. She watched as he stood up and strolled over to the dart board, pulling the darts out and taking a few steps back. He threw a few half-heartedly, most of his focus on the girl in the corner, watching out the corner of his eye as she pushed the garage door open, letting it swing shut behind her. Alex was definitely asleep, and Reggie was out for the count, so Luke dropped the darts and padded towards the door, joining her in the darkness of the garden.

"Hey you." He elbowed her gently, looking over her face, tilted back to look at the stars. "Hey." They stood in comfortable silence, shoulder to shoulder, his hands tucked in his pockets, for a few minutes, until Becca's voice broke through the silence. "Does it always feel like that?" Luke turned towards her. "What, the weed?" She tilted her head back down and turned to him, her eyes round. "On stage. Does it always feel like that?" Luke snorted and bit his lip. He knew exactly what she was referring to. "For you? Yeah. It will. It's like that for me too." She raised her eyebrows at him, and he smiled, his entire face lighting up as he spoke about the thing he loved most. "The way it flows through you. You become the music; it sets every inch of you on fire." He looked straight into her eyes, and placed his fingers on the bare skin of her arm, the featherlight touch causing goosebumps to spread across her skin. She looked down at his hand, and then back up to his eyes. "You feel alive. You're free, and you're magic. You're breathtaking." His eyes widened as he said the last words, and he dropped his hand. "Like, on stage I mean. You forget how to breathe, because the music is so, powerful." Becca laughed quietly and nodded. "Yeah. Like that." They fell into a silence again, and Becca dropped her eyes towards their feet, kicking the toe of Luke's vans gently. "It was amazing. I've never done that on stage before; but now I never want to stop." Luke couldn't help himself, and grinned, shrugging. "You're welcome." A swift punch in the arm reminded him who he was talking to, and he winced, once again turning to look at the stars. "Why haven't you? Done it before I mean." Becca sighed and shrugged, walking over to the stairs and taking a seat, elbows resting on her knees. "I'm not that kind of person. People don't want to see me on stage- I'm Becca, I'm quiet, bad at math and I sit in the back of class. My music is just a hobby." She sounded dejected, and unsure, and it sent Luke over the edge. He walked towards her and knelt down, looking her directly in the eye. "I saw you play tonight. That's no hobby. You are your music, it's a part of you. It's in your soul. I don't think I've ever seen you looking more alive than I have tonight, up on that stage, with a mic in your hand. You belong up there." Luke's eyes never left hers, desperate and full of earnest. Becca could feel his passion burning through them, and it made her smile. "You really think so?" He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, smirking down at her. "I know so. You should play with us again- Reggie's right. You're awesome." Becca felt her cheeks heat up, and looked at her feet, her hand still resting in Luke's. "I'll think about it." Another comfortable silence fell between them, their hands intertwined as they looked at the stars. "What time is it?" Luke checked his watch, and his eyes widened. "It's like 3am. You have school, don't you?" Becca groaned and let go of Luke's hand, falling onto the steps. "We all have school, I'm not letting you guys skip. Besides, Alex has like one more chance before he gets suspended. I don't even want to know what you're at." Luke bit his lip, knowing she was right. The three of them had been warned multiple times now, that anymore absences and they'd not be allowed back. "We better get some sleep then- you take the couch." Becca laughed and jumped to her feet, raking a hand through her curls. "Dude, it's your couch. I can't do that to you." They walked back into the garage, smirking at Alex and Reggie's sprawled out forms. Becca sighed and grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa, tossing it over Alex, and putting a cushion under Reggie's head. "How are you still awake? Normally that stuff knocks people off their feet." Becca looked at the floor and smiled sheepishly. "First timers, yeh." Luke raised his eyebrows at her, shaking his head in disbelief. "You had me fooled." Becca shrugged and walked through to the back, returning with a hoodie and a few more blankets. Luke took one and spread it out on the floor, scratching his head and desperately trying not to show his distaste at the idea of sleeping on the floor. "Luke. Stop being dumb, the couch is massive. Come here." He looked up to where Becca was curled up on one side of the couch, her shoes kicked off beside the coffee table. "I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything though, I'm fine-" He made eye contact with her and decided not to argue, slipping his shoes off and jumping onto the other end of the couch. He rested his head on the arm, the familiar dip worn into the cushions from the countless naps he took there, and felt himself nod off almost instantly. But he was stirred by Becca's shuffling around, and he sighed, knowing he'd regret where this was going. "Bex. Come here." She looked up at him in surprise, but obliged, pulling her blanket with her. They lay side by side, their hands bumping in between them occasionally. "Happy birthday Bex." She smiled into the darkness, and slipped her hand into his, squeezing tightly. "Night, Luke."

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