#ITS ASTRONOMY WE’RE TWO WORLDS APART

[gay-mirrorball]

not sure if anyone cares but the outline AND the next chapter to astronomy (we’re two worlds apart) is finished. the chapter just needs to be edited but after that, i think its good to go.

i really do love this chapter because it’s all wolfstar and it’s just pure fluff

[inutaffy]

WE’VE TRAVELED THE SEAS WE’VE RIDDEN THE STARS WE’VE SEEN EVERYTHING FROM SATURN TO MARS AS MUCH AS IT SEEMS LIKE YOU OWN MY HEART ITS ASTRONOMY....WE’RE TWO WORLDS APART

[strawberry-slushy]

Footnote, The Exit, Movies, Astronomy, Memories, Heather, Little League and (Can We Be Friends?) were all written for byler. Conan Gray told me.

Bonus: Family Line and Summer Child were written for William Byers

[strawbericc]

AS MUCH AS IT SEEMS LIKE YOU OWN MY HEART ITS ASTRONOMY, WE’RE TWO WORLDS APART ! 𓏲﹒ॱ ˖ ﹆

[intomusings]

﹒﹒  superache   sentence   starters    !

hi  friends  ,  me  again  !  my  current  obsession  is  superache  ,  the  newest  album  from  the  insanely  talented  conan  gray  and  after  my  hundredth  listen  i  realized  that  the  lyrics  make  for  some  perfect  sentence  starters  —  so  under  the  cut  you'll  find  a  bunch  of  heart  wrenching  one  liners  .  if  u  found  this  useful  ,  feel  free  to  like  or  reblog  to  boost  this  .

﹒﹒  movies  :

“ i look at you like you’re perfect for me ”

“ all of our friends think of us jealously ”

“ still can’t believe that this isn’t a dream ”

“ in my head , we’re dancing in the dark ”

“ this ain’t like the movies ”

“ we’re holding hands , but its all just for show ”

“ monday through friday , we both barely spoke ”

“ on the drive here , i was looking through your texts ”

“ you say that its over , but why does she call you at 3am and 4am ? ”

“ thats a funny way of staying friends .. ”

“ in my head , you never break my heart ”

“ i want a love like the movies ”

“ we lost all the love that we had and i can’t pretend it’ll ever come back ”

“ i think you’re seeing right through me .. ” 

﹒﹒  people  watching  :

“ i’m happy for them but i wanna feel all that love and emotion ”

“ i’m only looking just to live through you vicariously ”

“ i’ve never really been in love , not seriously ”

﹒﹒  disaster  :

“ the potential of us was keeping me up all night long ”

“ this could be a disaster , theres so many factors ”

“ i say i love you and you don’t say it after ”

“ i’m drunk , i really shouldn’t have called ”

“ is it purely platonic to call me like every night ? ”

“ you know ashley believes that theres something between you and i .. ”

“ maybe i just made it up , messed it up .. ”

﹒﹒  best  friend  :

“ remember when you broke up with your fucking ex ? ”

“ god , i’m glad you finally got over them .. ”

“ everybody knows i love you so , so , so much ”

“ made a promise that i’m gonna marry you if we’re both single by like 32 ”

“ i hate like everyone except for you ”

“ you’re just as psycho as me , just as sick inside the head ”

﹒﹒  astronomy  :

“ as much as it seems like you own my heart , we’re two worlds apart ”

“ i wish i’d stayed with you .. ”

“ the only mistake that we didn’t make was run ”

“ stop trying to keep us alive ! ”

﹒﹒  yours  :

“ i’m somebody you call when you’re alone ”

“ i’m somebody you use , but never own ”

“ i’m somebody you touch , but never hold ”

“ you’re somebody i’ll never really know .. ”

“ i know i’m not the one you really love .. ”

“ i guess i never really given up .. ”

“ i could give you all you want — the stars and the sun ”

“ still i’m not enough .. ”

“ i’m not yours ”

“ i want more ”

“ i can’t change your mind , but you’re still mine ”

“ tell me that its time for me to go ”

“ you know i can’t do it on my own ”

“ the only thing thats harder than sleeping alone is sleeping with your ghost ”

“ can’t believe i chose you over all my best friends ”

﹒﹒  jigsaw  :

“ for you , i’ve changed every part of me ”

“ you take every part of me , all the things you need and the rest you discard ”

“ all i did just to make you happy and still you don’t even fucking love me ”

“ pointing out all my flaws doesn’t help .. ”

“ why don’t you love me ? ”

﹒﹒  family  line  :

“ i truly am my parents child ”

“ i’m so good at telling lies , told a million to survive .. ”

“ i can’t forget , i can’t forgive you ”

“ i’m scared that everyone i love will leave me ”

﹒﹒  summer  child  :

“ theres darkness behind those eyes .. ”

“ aren’t you way too busy taking care of everybody to take care of yourself ? ”

﹒﹒  footnote  :

“ i told you i liked you , you said ‘ sober up ’ ... ”

“ it’s so clear i’m in love with you ”

“ if i waited , could that maybe help ? ”

“ we’re perfect together , but i’ll never be the one ”

“ you taught me a lesson , that feelings are reckless ”

“ please don’t forget me ”

“ forget me please ”

﹒﹒  memories  :

“ it’s been a couple months ”

“ please don’t ruin this for me ”

“ please don’t make it harder than it already is ”

“ i’m trying to get over this ”

“ i wish that you would stay in my memories .. ”

“ you show up today just to ruin things ”

“ i want to put you in the past cause im traumatized ”

“ too busy playing the victim to be listening to me ”

“ i can’t say goodbye if you stay here the whole night ”

“ its hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning ”

“ i promise the ending always stays the same ”

“ theres no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again ”

“ i can’t be your friend , can’t be your lover , can’t be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love with somebody other than me ”

“ since you came , i guess i’ll let you stay ”

﹒﹒  the  exit  :

“ feels like we buried alive something that never died ”

“ god , it hurt when i found out you love her ”

“ you already found someone to miss ”

“ i can’t hate you for getting everything we wanted ”

“ i just thought that i would be a part of it .. ”

“ i was moving into your apartment when you met someone ”

“ impossible to understand how you’re not coming back .. ”

[mysticstronomy]

WHAT ARE BINARY BLACK HOLES??

Blog#96

Saturday, June 12th, 2021

Welcome back,

When Albert Einstein predicted the existence of gravitational waves over one hundred years ago, nobody could foresee what the implications could possibly be – but, as they make the move from predicted theory to proven fact, researchers like Professor Zoltan Haiman, of Columbia University, are devising ways of using them to study binary systems of colliding black holes and the very early universe in completely new ways. As far back as we’ve been able to crane our necks, our civilization has been looking to the stars with a sense of wonder and awe. Our earliest ancestors worshipped the skies with a fierce superstition – and on the darkest of nights in the quiet of the countryside, away from the light pollution that plagues our towns and cities, it’s easy to see why: our heavens hold a beauty that is unparalleled anywhere else in the natural world.

It wasn’t long before our ancestors started applying the rigour of mathematics to the sky – astronomy is, in fact, the oldest of the natural sciences, dating back to prehistoric times. The sun went down and everyone was at it: The Babylonians, the ancient Chinese, the Greek philosophers, the Egyptian Pharaohs – every civilization that was advanced enough to record what they were doing: all standing on the shore of an endless ocean of light, underneath dark skies with bright and starry eyes, meticulously studying the mechanics of celestial bodies far beyond their comprehension; watching with a sense of wonder as points of light danced above them in the night.

Today, our knowledge of the Universe has surpassed the wildest hopes and dreams of those who came before us. We know that some of those points of light are actually giant nuclear fusion reactors called stars, just like our own sun; and some of them are galaxies so far away that our eyes reduce them – a collection of billions of stars – to one single point. We know how stars are born – and how they die – and that if a star is big enough when that time comes, it will collapse in on itself to form a singularity: an object so dense that not even light can escape its gravitational pull. We call these objects black holes. We know that at the center of almost every galaxy lies a supermassive black hole and that galaxies often collide with each other to form even larger galaxies. One thing we’re not entirely clear on, however, is what happens when the black holes from two colliding galaxies meet and form binary systems.

The gravitational waves discovery sweeping through astronomy

For most of our history, astronomers have viewed the stars through the lens of Newtonian physics. Einstein’s theory of relativity changed that: time and space were no longer different entities but two sides of the same coin, interlinked in a system that is almost impossible for us to comprehend (the fact that Einstein did is why he is so famous). It replaces the force of gravity, proposed by Isaac Newton, with a seemingly abstract idea: space and time are a medium in which everything exists. Heavy objects, like planets, warp this medium and change its shape and that’s what we experience as a force pulling us towards the Earth (gravity). Space-time is a difficult idea to grasp but the beauty of Einstein’s theory is that it explains so much of the universe so fully that it is impossible to ignore. That and the mathematics stack up: scientists have been trying – and failing – to prove him wrong for over a hundred years.

An interesting prediction that comes out of Einstein’s theories is the existence of gravitational waves – ripples in the fabric of space-time itself. Until recently, a prediction was all that they were but since 2016, scientists have been able to measure them and, as our technology advances, they will be able to further exploit gravitational waves to investigate what happens when two galaxies collide.

We know that black hole binary systems play a fundamental role in shaping the galaxies they belong to – and that their collision would likely be the most energetic phenomena in the known universe – but much like gravitational waves, direct evidence of black hole binary systems has so far been lacking. This is because the black holes are too close to each other to tell apart using our current telescopes. That could be about to change.

LISA

In 2034, the European Space Agency (ESA) plans to launch LISA, a Laser Interferometer Space Antenna, which will be able to detect the gravitational waves resulting from the interaction between two colliding black holes. This will provide astronomers with a shiny, new set of tools to probe the farthest reaches of our universe. Until then, researchers like Professor Zoltan Haiman continue to study such binary black hole systems using theoretical calculations and advanced computational simulations.

An astronomical fingerprint for binary black hole systems

In a recent paper, released earlier this year, Professor Haiman predicted what happens when two black holes collide as their host galaxies merge. As the black holes become close to one another, they begin to orbit around a common center of mass – a point somewhere in space analogous to the pivot-point on a seesaw, around which the masses at either end rotate. They move slowly at first and, if the energy contained within their orbit was to remain the same, the system could continue like this forever, with the black holes caught in a never-ending dance. But energy is sucked from the orbit in the form of gravitational waves. They cause the orbit to shrink in size, and the black holes to spiral inward, colliding to form a single black hole.

SOURCE: https://researchoutreach.org

COMING UP!!

(Wednesday, June 16th, 2021)

“WHAT IS QUANTUM PHYSICS??”

[bokutosworld]

in the stars | m. atsumu

character/pairing: single parent/dad atsumu with son

wc: 1.5k words, angst, longing for loved one. warning/s: slight mention of death.

summary: in which atsumu helps his only son find comfort in the stars where he believes your soul lives on.

--

in the dead of the night, atsumu awoke with tears streaming down his face. confused and startled, he shakily brings a hand to wipe his cheeks. just when he was finally getting peace on his evenings, the nightmares that plagued his days and disturbed his slumbers has returned to haunt him.

he scrambles to get the blanket off of his body, standing up and slipping on his fuzzy slippers. he remains seated on the side of the bed, a hand clutches his chest as he feels his heart being twisted and burning with pain - a sensation which he hasn't felt in a long time.

the clock on his bedside table reads 1:15 am and he tries to catch his breath. when he woke up, he felt as if he has been running a marathon, sprinting to get to the finish line. but in his case, wouldn't it more accurate to say that he has been running away from agony? he reaches for the glass of water that he usually places in his table, only to find it empty.

after what seemed like an eternity sitting in darkness, he gets up and walks toward the door. he turns the knob carefully, as if he would wake someone up if he makes even the slightest of noise. the first step he takes in the hallway is silent. with cautious footsteps, he stalks quietly towards the kitchen to refill his drink.

atsumu places the glass on the counter and picks up a pitcher of water from the refrigerator. he figures a cold drink would be enough to wake his senses up and pull him from his perturbed state. a drink became two until he felt relieved once again. he washes the glass on the sink and places it carefully on the racks to dry.

he retreats back to his room to try to return to sleep. however, he stops his tracks in the carpeted floor of the living room, catching sight of a silhouette at the balcony. the sliding door has been opened, the curtains were being swept away by the winter winds, and the faint moonlight reveals the only family he has left.

'takeru, what are you doing here,' the said boy jumps in surprise at the voice of his father. he shyly looks up at him then brings his gaze back at the skies. atsumu takes note of the way his son shivers at the harsh cold and takes off his sweater to cover him. 'have you been awake for long?'

the boy nods, tugging the sweater closer to his body for warmth. 'i dreamt of mama,' takeru confesses. suddenly, atsumu feels chills go up his body, rendering him frozen in his place as he listens to his five year-old son. 'we were in our vacation house with uncle osamu's family and mama was happy. papa was in my dream too, then,' takeru stops midway his story. he turns to atsumu, stretching his arms to reach his waist.

atsumu goes down on his knees, bringing takeru to a hug and comforting him in the best way he can. 'shh, takeru, it's okay, i'm here. you don't have to tell me your dream if you can't,' he feels the child shaking his head. his tiny fists grips his father's shirt, and atsumu feels his clothing turn wet with tears. 'no, no, buddy, don't cry.'

but his voice betrays him, almost choking on his own tears that are threatening to spill from his eyes. his mind wanders to what his wife would do in these moments. you were always the perceptive one, you knew how to brighten up the mood in the room, you understood emotions better than anyone. it always left atsumu speechless whenever you would work your magic and comfort people's dampened spirits.

it was one of the things he loved about you. atsumu believes that his marriage with you was the best thing to happen in his life. you were the greatest gift given by the gods above, every day spent with you felt like he was in heaven - as if he had his own paradise and you were his angel.

and when you got pregnant with takeru, atsumu was lifted up in cloud nine. the birth of his son was a momentous event, but truth be told, he was scared. he thought he could not perform his duties as a father, given his busy schedules and jet-setter lifestyle due to volleyball. but you assured him that you would never leave his side. it was you who gave him the confidence that he would be the best dad to takeru, and he believed that with all his heart.

he never imagined the day would come when you would no longer be by his side. the first time he heard of the tragic news, he felt the world around him lose its brightness, the colors disappeared and everything he saw was grey. to say he was heartbroken was an understatement, you were his light, and without you, he felt his life held no more meaning and purpose. he closed himself off from his friends and family, even his own son - leaving the boy to osamu's care.

for weeks, he seemed as though his soul has been sucked from him, leaving him to be a lifeless, empty vessel. but one day, he was brought to life by the tender touch and the soft whimpers of takeru. the child has crawled his way to atsumu's lap and in that moment, he broke down.

looking at takeru brought him pain and comfort. the little boy resembled his mama so much that it only hurt atsumu as it reminded him of the person he had lost. but he also came to the realization that takeru was the only person you have left behind. the little boy had no else but him to rely on, and since that day, atsumu swore to pick himself up. remembering your words, he swore to live for his son's sake, and even though he was sure he could not fill the gap your absence have left, he promised that he would become the best parent for takeru.

'i miss her too,' he hears the boy's sniffles subside. 'mama also visited me in my dreams tonight. she was telling me that you have become a big boy now,' atsumu smiles as he says these words, not knowing where they were coming from. the child lifts his head and looks at his papa, 'did you tell her that i miss her?'

atsumu's heart breaks at the thought that takeru was waking up each day, searching for you and yearning for your presence. he brings the boy to his arms, carrying him with ease as they stand to look at the clouds. he presses a kiss to takeru's temple, 'mama knows you miss her, every day. she also wants me to tell you that she is always looking over you from afar.'

the boy is puzzled, his eyebrows furrowing and atsumu remembers the way you would also do the same action whenever you confused. takeru was truly a mama's boy, he thought. 'what do you mean, papa?'

he grins and extends an arm to the skies, 'raise your head, takeru. the stars look lovely tonight, don't they?' the child excitedly nods, and atsumu remembers the moments he would go stargazing with his wife.

'hey, tsum-tsum. did you know that when a star dies, it releases all of its light and sends it out in the darkness,' you circle your arms exaggeratedly to make your point. 'and there it shines for a very long time.' you peek at atsumu who was lying down the grass by your side. he laughs at your antics, pulling you down to his chest. you can hear the erratic beating of his heart.

'you do love your astronomy, don't you?' atsumu says, amazed at your wide knowledge of the universe, the moon, and everything beyond. you chuckle, 'of course! it's always phenomenal to know that there's something greater than us and somehow, it puts me at ease, knowing that we're all under the same vast sky, staring at the same celestial bodies. it makes me feel connected with you even when we're apart.'

it was under those stars and skies that atsumu proposed to you. it was under those stars and skies that your smile shone the brightest and atsumu likened it to the twinkling of the stars on that special night. 'i'm so lucky to have the brightest star by my side,' atsumu declared before sealing your engagement with a kiss under the moonlight.

'look for the star that's shining the brightest tonight,' atsumu guides his son to locate your star. a few minutes and takeru finally spots it, 'over there, papa! it's round and white and sparkling.' he laughs at his son's vivid description.

'that's mama's star, takeru. she's watching over us from above and no matter where you look at, you can find her dazzling in the skies, as if calling out to you and telling you that she will never leave your side,' atsumu comforts his son who visibly relaxes and smiles at the thought. 'so whenever you miss mama, just look up and her star will be there.'

atsumu knows this because, for as long as he can remember, the skies has been the source of his solace and whenever he looks up, he feels your love radiating from the stars.

[literalite]

socially speaking we were the same with runaway fathers and mothers who drank a tale old as time young love dont last for life and now i know now i know its time to go its time to go home we travelled the sea weve ridden the stars weve seen everything from saturn to mars as much as it seems like you own my heart it’s astronomy we’re two worlds apart

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, we’ve added to our friends to lovers rec list. You can find part one here and there will also be a part three (and possibly a part four!) up eventually, which will be linked here when it’s been posted. We hope you enjoy these fics! Happy reading.

1) Roses In The Rain | Mature | 5267 words

“Don’t- I know what you’re going to ask, and I… Harry, I can’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You know that I can’t.”

Louis had his six siblings and his old house with its falling-apart porch to take care of. This town was where people still approached him, 8 years after high school graduation, to tell him that they loved him as Danny in Grease. This town was where he had his pick of suitors, where he had his first kiss, where he took his first steps, where his mama lived, died, and was buried, and he couldn’t leave just to follow some man that he loved.

Harry, for now, seemed to understand that.

“Okay, baby,” Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”

2) Candy In Your Mouth (I Know You Love Me) | Explicit | 6937 words

Things have shifted since last Christmas.

3) Glimpse Of The Silhouettes | Explicit | 7181 words

Harry isn't sure what the rules are for this. It's hard to believe that there are any, that's there's a handbook just waiting for him to buy: why is my best mate getting hard in my lap when I touch his arse?

4) Woke Up Feeling Knotty | Explicit | 7903 words

Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof.  When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them.  Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

5) A Love Reaction | Explicit | 9968 words

It's never been a thing. Not until now.

6) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699 words

Four months into One Direction's hiatus, Louis comes to stay with Harry after a bad breakup.

7) (You're Gonna See Me In A) New Light | Mature | 13631 words

A fake relationship AU where everyone knows it's real but Louis.

8) As A Memento From Me | Explicit | 15817 words

Five lives in which Harry and Louis didn’t end up together, and one in which they did.

9) I Put A Spell On You | Explicit | 17525

A BBC/Secret Santa mashup featuring Captain Niall, our intrepid weatherman/amateur matchmaker, rather clueless sports reporter Liam, charming political analyst Zayn, and cheeky entertainment reporter Louis. Harry is the new fashion correspondent who prefers to dress like a flamingo. And pining. There’s a lot of pining.

10) Oblivious | Explicit | 19095 words

Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird.

11) Break Open The Sky | Explicit | 20372 words

Werewolf AU. Harry might be a werewolf, but he still wants to experience Uni like everyone else. Turns out he learns a lot.

12) Runnin’ Like You Did | Explicit | 20061 words

The college AU where Louis knows how to hold a grudge and is definitely not in love with Harry Styles.

13) UN(RE)SOLVED. | Explicit | 20873 words

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

14) Hats Off To My Distant Hope | Explicit | 20990 words

Harry is in White Eskimo. Louis is in London.

15) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 20649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

16) Love Like Wildfire | Explicit | 21774 words

Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.

17) Indestructible | Explicit | 24423 words

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

18) A Whole New World | Not Rated | 24967 words

Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano.

19) Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

20) Brooklyn Saw Me | Explicit | 28537 words

In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn't have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.

21) Rivers ‘Til I Reach You | Explicit | 29315 words

AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

22) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

23) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

24) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32354 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

25) The List | Mature | 32074 words

'In the weeks that follow, Harry opens his old journal more than he has in the past two years each time he remembers Venice or thinks about Louis. He always flips to the same random page in the middle of the book, marked by the picture of himself that Louis sent him a few days after they got home. There’s a message on the back that says, ‘Spontaneous looks good on you! See you soon,’ and it makes Harry’s chest warm each time he reads it. He wedges their list out from between the worn pages, and it feels silly staring down at a folded up piece of paper with a strange sense of nostalgia for experiences they’ve yet to have; for places they’ve never even been.'

26) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

An A/B/O AU featuring an oblivious Harry as the pack leader, a pining Louis as his second-in-command, and an entourage of friends and family who are a little too good at keeping their mouths shut.

27) The Sun Will Rise With My Name On Your Lips | Explicit | 37927 words

When Eleanor breaks up with Louis he finds it hard to keep pretending that Harry isn’t what he’s wanted since the day he first met him.

28) Runner On Third | Explicit | 39643 words

Note: The sequel to this fic is not BL.

The AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

29) My Sweetest Downfall | Mature | 42048 words

Louis is a retired guardian angel. After the death of his last charge, he became jaded. Humans die—what use is prolonging the inevitable?

He's more than happy to forget about humanity altogether until one day, when Louis is pulled from his desk job for a new assignment: protect One Direction's Harry Styles. It doesn't help that there's something about Harry that Louis can't resist, and it's making him question everything he's ever known. Humans are strictly off limits, and breaking that rule means risking everything, but Harry just might be worth it.

This is a story about forgiveness and discovery, featuring an angel who wants to be a little more human and a human who is so much more than he seems.

30) For the Sake of Propriety | Mature | 52360 words

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for.  His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best.  When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice.  But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

31) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words

The one where Harry dates six other guys and still falls in love with Louis Tomlinson.

32) We’ve Got the World in Our Hands | Explicit | 54964 words

Note: This fic has been locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

33) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 49873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

34) Since I’ve Found You | Mature | 74005 words

Louis woke up on the morning he was meant to volunteer at the Feed the Homeless program at St. Mary's church hoping for an opportunity to give back a little to a city that has given him everything he could ever want. Little did he know, there was one more great thing waiting there for him; a boy with radiant green eyes in a weathered jacket and a beat-up backpack slung over his shoulders.

35) Saving Symphony Hall | Mature | 124766 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

36) Falling Into You | Mature | 143517 words

In the grand scheme of adolescence and boyhood, Harry was still working himself out, so far with little luck. But four things he could say for certain: 1) he'd been at the top of his class all through primary and secondary school, 2) he was the shittiest alpha to ever walk the earth, 3) Liam Payne never let him forget it, and 4) he’d been in love with this boy, Louis Tomlinson, ever since he was fifteen years old.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[tumbledfreckles]

More than Okay

Jilytober @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world‘s Day 7 Prompt: First Kiss.  Hope your enjoy, you can read it here or on AO3 with my other prompts from the first week xx

He found her at the top of the Astronomy Tower. She often went here to think. He’d come to know it was a bad day place, a long day place, and sometimes, a happy day place.

He was hoping today was a happy day.

“You’re missing the party,” he commented as he took a seat next to her. His feet hung low past the balustrade as he looked down over the castle grounds.

“So are you,” she responded. “And it’s your party, Captain.”

James smiled as her shoulder nudged his. “It’s a house party.”

“You got us over 100 points on your own,” Lily raised her eyebrows at him.

He shook his head, “I was assisted on nearly all of those. And the beaters kept my path clear. Quidditch is a team sport, Evans, you know that.”

“Well, our team was led by an incredibly talented, hardworking, demanding Captain,” Lily insisted. “I would know, Marley’s been talking in moans and groans for the last two weeks.”

“She should have worked on her cardio over the holidays like I told her.”

“The game is on broomsticks, Potter. Running isn’t really relevant.”

“My plan won us the game, didn’t it?”

“Oh, so now you won the game? What happened to the team?”

“What happened to all those compliments you were giving me,” James grinned. “Let’s get back to those.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “I think your heads quite big enough there, dear.”

James’ grinned widened at the pun Lily didn’t even know she was making, “But I think you missed a few of my best points.”

“Such as?”

“My dashing good looks, my charming smile. Obviously, my great sense of humour, not to mention my full head of hair.”

“If you do say so yourself,” Lily reached up to tousle James’ hair, that despite his shower, still looked as if he’d just got off his broom. “Honestly, Potter, what kind of compliment is having a full head of hair? Your seventeen, not seventy.”

“You spend a lot of time with Slughorn,” James protested. “Maybe you had a thing for older blokes, I don’t know. Thought it was worth a mention.”

Lily smirked at the thought of the Potions professor’s terrible combover, that failed miserably to hide a large, shiny dome on the top of his head, before grimacing, “Yuck, Potter,” she pushed him a bit harder this time. “Yuck, yuck, yuck.”

James gripped the concrete edge of the wall they sat on, even as his eyes’ glinted mischievously. “Merlin, Evans, have a care. You’ll push me over the edge.”

“I can only hope,” she responded dryly.

“Now, now. Head Girls that go around murdering Head Boys do not get to be Aurors, no matter how many NEWTs they get,” James tutted.

“Good thing I’m smart enough that no one would ever know it was me. And sweet enough they’d never even suspect,” Lily gave him another playful shove.

“And so bloody charming and gorgeous even if they did, they’d probably help you hide my body,” James muttered darkly as Lily’s cheeks reddened slightly.

“Oh no, Marley would help me do that,” she said confidently, trying to brazen out the flutters in her chest. It wasn’t like James didn’t say things like that to her often. The frequency had definitely increased since Christmas. “I have enough dirt on her she’d never turn traitor on me.”

“An ideal secret keeper then,” James nodded approvingly, raising his hands in surrender. “Very well, have at it. I won’t even put up a resistance seeing you’ve got it so well planned.”

Lily reached over and pushed the closest hand back down to the brick and mortar between them, “Sorry, Potter, not today. If I killed you so early in the term, they’d only replace you and I’d have to break in a new Head Boy.”

“Wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“It really would. It took forever to teach you the points system. Imagine if it was Diggory! He’d never get a handle on the fractions.”

“See, I knew you only wanted me for my numbers,” James placed a hand across his chest. “You wound me, truly Evans.”

“Oh, shush,” she patted his hand where it rested next to her leg. “You know I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

“Yeah,” James caught her eye and smiled gently. “I know.”

Lily looked out over the dark castle grounds as they lapsed into silence. It was a cloudless, starry night, ever the chillier for the lack of cover. But the stars reflected off the lake in the distance and cast eery shadows from the trees and buildings on this side of the castle. She shivered, and realised she was holding her arms around her body, the cold not having registered during her conversation with James. It was a constant theme these days, tuning everyone and everything out when James was around. The girls loved to take the mick out of her for it.

A warm, heavy material settled around her shoulders, blocking out the cold. Lily swivelled her head to look at James, who shrugged a bit as he brought his hands back down from arranging his cloak around her.

“It’s cold,” he said simply.

Lily shook her head, “But now you’ll be cold.”

Ignoring James’ protests, she carefully shuffled closer to him on the wall and moved the cloak so it covered them both. This brought her into contact with James in several places and Lily felt her heart flutter again and her skin alight with every connection. Their shoulders, upper arm, elbow, hips, thighs, knees. His warmth seeped through her and she fought the urge to simply melt into his side. They lapsed back into a comfortable silence, listening to the faint notes of music drifted up to them from Gryffindor Tower.

“What brought you up here Lily?” James asked after a while, his voice soft.  

Lily took a few moments to answer. “It’ll probably sound silly.”

“I live with Sirius,” he reminded her. “Try me.”

“I was just,” Lily paused, sighed, and started again. “I was just sitting there in the Common Room, watching everyone dance, and drink, and have a good time. And I couldn’t help thinking, we only have a little bit of time left. Only one more Quidditch match, a couple more Hogsmeades. Soon enough it’ll be the end of Spring, exams and we’re gone. It’s all ending.”

“Hey, hey,” James placed a hand on her knee, squeezing gently as his heart clenched at her despondent tone. “It’s not all ending. Not all of it.” Lily looked at him with a weak smile and James just wanted to see its proper version. “All your mates will be still be there. Helping find your way.”

“I know,” Lily placed her hand over his, looking down at them.

“And I’ll still be there, Lily,” he murmured softly. “I’ll always be there.”

When Lily looked up, she wasn’t even surprised to see how close they were. James was leaning toward her, and she was leaning too, taking up all the empty space between them. His breath travelled across the cool air between them, mingling with hers in visible puffs. Their foreheads almost touched, their noses mere millimetres apart.

“Good,” she whispered.

“Yeah?” James’ eyes were so warm as she looked into them.

“Yeah,” she squeezed his hand. Her tongue slipped out to wet her lips before Lily even realised they’d gone dry and her heart and breath caught as one as she watched James’ eyes drop to follow her movement. “I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

“Good,” James echoed her earlier words. Softly and slowly, as if afraid he’d startle her and break the moment, he moved even closer than Lily thought was possible given all the space already felt taken up. The hand on her knee flipped over to link their fingers together, sliding further up her thigh. His other hand came across to grasp her jaw, tilting her face up as his lowered, until their noses nudged together.

Lily squeezed James’ hand in a bid to reassure herself this was real, he was real. She realised she hadn’t let out her breath yet, and surely that was the cause of the stars she suddenly found them surrounded by. She exhaled just as James’ lips dropped to press lightly onto her own, the gentle warm touch utterly robbing her mind of all but one thought.  

Finally.

He pulled back and looked down at her for a moment. Lily willed herself to move, to breathe, but there was too much emotion, too much everything for her heart to contain and for her brain to function. So, she just stared up at him, with what was most likely a fish out of water, confounded beyond recollection expression on her face.

Attractive, she was sure.

“Is,” James spoke so quietly, sounding suddenly so unsure, Lily barely recognised his voice. “Is this okay?”

Lily still couldn’t form a word to save her life. So, she did the only thing she could think. The hand that until now had still gripped the ledge beside her reached up, sinking into the silky mop she’d tousled earlier. Her fingers curled and gripped, pulling at the strands of hair caught between them. She pulled James’ head down the few inches that it had moved away and leant her body into him to keep her balance as she reached up. Their bodies pressed together as she pushed her lips back to meet his.

James took a second to register the kiss but responded with the enthusiasm she’d come to love him for. His lips moved over hers in a gorgeous slip and slide, tugging and pulling at her bottom lip before his tongue glided it. As her mouth opened their tongues mingled together, exploring as did their hands. James found Lily had let go his hand to push her own into his hip, gripping and pushing, making him tense and soften at the same time. His now freed hand reached up to mirror the other, cradling her face and adjusting their angles to reach more of her, feel more of her.

After the longest time they broke apart, each breathless and dazed as they looked at each other. James couldn’t help the beaming smile that spread across his face as he looked at those sparkling green eyes.

“That,” Lily eventually managed to say, feeling euphoric all the way down to her toes, “Was more than okay.”

[gay-mirrorball]

so since i had nothing to read, i decided to just read my own incomplete fic. the first few chapters are horrid oh my god 😭😭 the typos, the plot holes, fucking crazy. but like 3/4th of the fic is. damn. its pretty good. i was actually disappointed when i realised i hadnt written anything further because i mean, all there is to write now is fluff.

SOOOOO ive decided

(drumroll pls)

to continue writing Astronomy (we’re two worlds apart) after a 14 month long hiatus from it.

im not sure when ill be able to update it BUT i know that i will soon so this is good news for anyone who was reading it (one loyal commenter, i love them) 😭😭

im aware that a lot has changed since then, including my writing style (probably), but i really wanna give it a go. im not gonna make any changes to whatever’s already done, like the notes and all have my old tumblr url in them but like. i cannot go editing 41 chapters to make such minor changes.

more good news, probably for me more than anyone else, is that ive decided that once im done with my entrance exams (id really like to go to college so pls pray for me), im gonna get back to writing full time, which means MORE jegulus fics

also, im in my tumblr era again bcs i heard its about to die??? cant let that happen yall so feel free to send any asks if you’d like

[infinites-chaser]

2/5/21

NEON

1. Teenage bedroom (late night)

2. Lord

3. Planetarium

4. Basketball court

5. Malevolence

prompts by @nosebleedclub can be found here!

i. it’s cold and dark— the new moon and cloudy skies mean only the artificial glow of streetlights filters in, soft and subdued, through the hazy fabric of his curtains. 1:30, reads the clock. he closes his eyes. opens them when dreams won’t come.

it’s often that teenagers like him are lost, this time of night, it’s often that sleep can’t find him.

ii. he doesn’t believe in god, he never has, not since his father first laid his eyes on him, laid hands on his mother, took away his little brother. when he looks to the whorls of stars glued clumsy and hasty to his bedroom ceiling, when he closes his eyes at night, he does not pray to any lord. he worships her smile. 

iii. there’s a galaxy swirling in the depths of her clear gaze, constellations that could be drawn in the scattering of freckles across her cheeks that only darken come summer. she dimples. stars collide, stars reform. it’s astronomy planetariums and textbooks could never hope to teach, astronomy only poets and lovers know.

(he’s pulled into her orbit, the weight of his heart nothing against her gravity. her force. his heartbeat accelerates. but he doesn’t fall, he flies.)

iv. physics class blurs past him. most of his classes do. but when the teacher’s droning voice turns to talk of the stars above, the way the planets move, he listens. it makes sense, somehow, though little else in school does. he thinks of it often. of laws of motion. of forces and attraction.

an object in motion will stay in motion, the teacher says.

she moves him. his heart’s restless. it stays restless, no matter what he does.

he drums his fingers on his desk in time with his racing heart, doesn’t stop even when the bully in the seat in front twists around to glare. he ignores the boy, lets his eyes instead follow her across the classroom.

basketball helps, keeps his motion focused, lets it flow. he dribbles the ball. thinks about the ball’s bounce, its steady spring back up after every fall. thinks about how she says she liked the other team’s dunk, the way the last player had looked when he’d scored.

he jumps. he shoots. he scores. he makes sure it’s when she’s watching, he’s rewarded with her bright congratulations! and her grin, a small cosmic wonder.

it feels like flying. like defying gravity.

(when she faints during p.e. he’s by her side. she gives him a band-aid, after, cheeks flushed, dimples showing.

for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, he thinks, and puts the bandage on with an answering smile.)

v. there’s his father’s anger, vicious swirling storm of violence that leaves him broken breathless beaten, curled into a corner wishing for gentle winds and the summer stars. his father’s anger and the cold winter that follows, eyes that look past him, that look through him, murmur you failure, you, that put icy fingers of frost deep into even the warmest corners of his heart. there’s the bullies who corner him atop the roof, knives in hand, telling him to jump, telling him his destiny was always to fall.

he survives the bullies. weathers his father. but when it’s her standing in front of him, his fist curled in a boy’s shirt, her starbright eyes dim with horror, it dawns on him. there are some falls that were always meant to happen. there are some orbits he can’t escape from (this one’s a hole opened up in the pit of his stomach, dark and wide, his snarl reflected in her eyes an inescapable force that pulls him apart, pulls him under). this is his event horizon.

PASTEL

1. Teenage bedroom (soft morning)

2. Dwarf rabbit

3. Seaside memory

4. Embrace

5. Peach juice

v. she likes the juice normally. it’s sweet and light and refreshing, a nectar of the gods, bottled in it is a hundred laughs and smiles, the taste of summers gone by. today, the drink sits heavy on her tongue, choking, cloying artificial sugar that makes her stomach turn.

what’s wrong, her friend asks. it tastes like missed opportunities, she thinks but does not say, it tastes like what-could-have-been turned sour, then sugared over again, far too sweet, it tastes like regret. it tastes like a bloodstained letter from a desperate boy left unopened, like a desperate boy left standing in an empty parking lot, his heart in his hands a star, waiting to fall.

she says, it’s nothing, smiles, and tries not to wince when she sips at her straw again. 

iv. they don’t ever hug in their teenage years. they could barely manage the brush of fingers without the hint of a blush. when they meet again, it’s different. gravity, attraction, all the laws of physics bend his path back to her.

he falls back into her orbit like breathing, an inhale, an exhale, and he’s weightless, he’s flying again.

she saves him. he saves her.

when she’s in his arms, he wonders if she sees stars in his eyes, wonders if she thinks there’s a gentle supernova within his every smile. little does he know, she’s wondering the same things, too.

for every action, he nearly remembers, slow and distant, a memory from light-years away, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

iii. once there was an ocean between him and her, waves of years-old misunderstandings come crashing down through time to separate them. tides rise. tides overflow. there is truth to be had on both sides, she thinks, in the flood of feelings that follows. there is a peace to be found when the tide goes out again, an understanding when they stand beside each other, hand-in-hand, back to the storm-swept past, looking to the starlit seashore of their future.

call it what you will. call it love.

ii. she curls against him, her head on his chest, hair fanned out in ripples of starless sky. they’re universe enough, two celestial things settled into comfortable orbit: some nights she circles him, some nights it’s her. his moon. her jupiter. he’s mapped an infinite number of constellations from her dimples down the small of her back and lower. she’s traced comets and meteors across the scars on his torso, discovered nebulas high on his cheekbones, made them burn bright red under her touch.

still, they turn their eyes skyward, to galaxies beyond. a world within their arms, a world without.he points out the constellations, draws out the shape of their mythological namesakes with one outstretched hand. over here, a legendary hunter, he says. there, a lyre.

here, a goddess, he says, and his eyes are on hers. she blushes. in the flush of her cheeks, he imagines new stars are born. (fusion, fission. love as something stronger than a nuclear reaction.)

tell me about the different types of stars, she says instead of a reply. he nods, pulls her closer, recites facts slow and soft he learned for her years ago: dwarfs, giants, all their different colors. she giggles at dwarf; she always does, asks if she’s a dwarf, a dwarf bunny. he laughs, pokes her nose, says, weren’t you listening, that’s not a kind of star—

his voice gentles to silence. she cranes her neck to look up at the stars in his bright eyes, the planets, the worlds.

maybe we’re binary stars, he says at last. you and i.

i. it’s warm and bright— rays of dawn drift light and dreamy through her open window painting long panes of her rumpled blankets the gold of the morning’s sunshine. he murmurs words, soft, loving, unintelligible, against the crown of her head. she smiles an i love you and a good morning into his chest, presses a kiss to his heart, and snuggles closer. his hand finds hers beneath shared sheets. their fingers tangle. they take their waking slow, their hearts beating as one, a secret language, a morse code of lovers, spelling out the words you are found. you are home. 

[weasleymalfoypotter]

i hate you (but not really) pt6

masterlist

summary : summary: draco malfoy and harry potters twin sister have hated each other since they met. but in 5th year he comes to find that maybe he doesn’t hate her and the reasons he did end up be the things he loves

word count : 2.6k

warnings : mentions of abuse, fluff, angst, ron and hermione being in the outs which is a whole warning

A/N : sorry this out so late i’ve been so busy and i’m on this retreat but i’m so excited to get this part out and thank you so much for all the love on this series and we’re at 50 followers and i want to cry omg also if there are spelling mistakes i’m sorry

“hey princess” draco said while kissing the crown of my head before sitting down in the seat next to me in the back of the library. princess is still his favorite nick name for him a year after he called me that for the first time. i swear he says it 100 times a day. i’m not complaining.

“helloooo” i said smiling at him as he sat down.

“how was today? i heard snape gave you a hard time”

“oh you know the usual. he likes to remind harry and i that we’re not as important as the rest of the wizarding world thinks we are” i said light heartedly with a smile. snape actually used to be fond of me. i asked him why in my third year because he hated my brother so much and he explained by saying i reminded him of my mother. it was a soft side to snape that no one thought existed. all he said was that he knew her in their years at hogwarts but after harry told me about the memory he saw in the pensive i knew there was more to it. that was the same time he started giving me a harder time, treating me like the rest of the gryffindors, if not worse. i confronted him after class one day after he made a comment about harry and i, and he said i was becoming more like my father as i grew up. that’s what remus and sirius would tell me too. they said harry and i looked just like james, except for the eyes, but personality wise, he was all lily and i was all james. i stormed out of his class after that and any kind of friendship or comfort i found in that class dissipated and his past kindness became an afterthought.

draco and i spent the rest of the day in the library studying before we went to dinner. he still sat at the slytherin table during meals and i spent the time with harry and my best friends. although, today i’m sitting with just hermione so she’s not alone because harry sits with ron and hermione and ron are on the outs...again. it hasn’t happened a lot but it’s always about the same thing and they can’t even realize it. i wish they’d just get together already because i don’t know how much more “won won!!” i can take from lavender without punching her square in the jaw. and she really doesn’t like me. i think she doesn’t like any girl at hogwarts, as if they all pose a threat to her and won won’s relationship.

hermione looked down the table to see her leg on his lap while her hands moved up and down ron’s arm. he looked irritated. hermione chuckled loud enough so only i could hear.

“it’s funny that he picks the girl who doesn’t know not to mess with him while he’s eating” i laugh.

“the whole thing is ridiculous. i swear he can’t stand her anymore, it won’t last long, she’s way too clingy and they don’t mix well at all” she chuckled but i can tell it still hurts. “hey listen, he’s an idiot. one day he’ll realize how stupid he is and it’ll be him pining” she gave a half hearted smile. the whole thing has been hard for her. i hate to see her cry so much.

“yeah yeah, i just- i don’t know. i just can’t do this anymore.”

i nod along while she rants for the rest of dinner before we have to leave. afterwards she heads to the library and i head to the gryffindor common room for scheduled harry and ron time. it’s hard keeping up with school work, quidditch, prefect duties, and all my friends that can’t be around each other. i have to managed to spend time with draco away from harry and ron and hermione, but also spend time with hermione away from with harry and ron, and i also have to spend time with harry and ron without hermione or draco or lavender. it’s a mess. so now we’ve subconsciously gotten into a schedule. during breakfast i sit with draco and harry sits with hermione and ron is with lavender, if i’m in a class with gryffindors i sit with hermione, when i’m in a class without them, i sit with draco, at lunch i sit with harry and ron while hermione sits with ginny, during breaks i bounce between each of them depending on the day and whether or not i have quidditch, and before dinner i’m in the library with draco, during dinner i sit with hermione, and afterwards i hang out with harry and ron, and after that it’s cuddling with draco. it’s exhausting. not the cuddling part, that’s pretty great. everything else is just so confusing and it doesn’t give me a second to breath until the end of the night. but if i’m being honest, everything distracts me from thinking about sirius or cedric or anything along those lines. so i’m not really complaining.

i’m plopped down on the couch on the verge of passing out while ron and harry talk about harry’s potions book. i’m complete zoned out until ron asks

“hey, you guys are coming for christmas right?” i totally forgot christmas existed. it was only a few days before break and i had no idea we were invited to the burrow.

“are we? i didn’t know that was an option” harry said. he looked at me as if asking if i was up for it or not. of course i was.

“well yeah of course, mom wants to give you guys the sweaters in person this year” ron said excitedly.

“i’m totally down, is charlie gonna be there? i wanna hear about the dragons” i say the last part with so much joy. i loved charlie. he was so cool. honestly i think i just loved the dragons but same thing. charlie and i always talked forever about his work whenever i was with his family.

“i’m not sure if he’s coming or not, but either way you’re going to be there, you don’t have a choice” ron said.

“that’s true. molly might just hunt us down if we don’t show up” harry said. ron nodding along pursing his lips. he didn’t lie.

-

i totally forgot to tell draco that i was going to be at the weasleys for christmas until today which is the day before we leave. we’re sitting cross crossed on my bed across from each other, hands tangling with each other’s, and talking about our day.

“okay so should i leave your christmas present here and spell so you can’t open it until the day of, or should we wait, or open them now, or...?” draco rambled.

“well i’m not gonna be here on christmas, harry and i are going to the burrrow” i said. his face showed his confusion and i remembered i forgot to tell him.

“since when? not complaining, it’s better than you being here by yourself but i’m positive fred has always had a crush on you” he said with a laugh.

“okay one, since the other day, and two, fred does not and has never had a crush on me” i said laughing at the thought of me and fred. he was like my big brother.

“okay okay but if he gets handsy i will hex him into oblivion and lace his apartment with his own products” he said faking seriousness

“fred will not get handsy, i promise” i replied with a huge smile on my face. i don’t think fred has ever gotten handsy with me.

“alright well, i guess we could do presents now” he said with a very excited expression. i nodded excitedly. i was so unbelievably excited for him to see what i made him. that’s right. made. i spent forever on it trying to get every detail right but i managed to figure it out. with the help of astronomy records i found an image of what the sky looked like the night we had our first kiss in the astronomy tower. i enlisted the help of flitwick and told him it was for a personal project to figure out the charms to put the pattern from stars from that night on a ring. it looks so damn cool, i honestly want it for myself. after a few moments of getting situated, we were sitting across from each other with the others presents in our hands.

“okay you first?” i smiled and handed him his present. it was wrapped carefully in a small package.

“open it” i said softly while he looked at me with a questioning look. he took of the paper and opened the box on its hinges. his face lit up and he didn’t even know what it really was yet.

“oh wow” he said while eyeing it “this is beautiful”

“wanna know something?” he looked up at me “you see the stars on it?” he nodded “that’s what the stars looked like on the night of our first kiss” i said with a huge smile and his face dropped...but in a good way.

“you’re kidding” his eyes backs glossy

“nope” i said with a smile. he immediately slipped it onto his left ring finger. he then leaned in to kiss me. i smiled as we pulled away. points to me for the really awesome gift.

“okay okay time for your gift because if i look at this any longer right now i will cry” i eyed him jokingly “okay maybe not cry but you get the idea” he handed me the box as i laughed. it was small, almost the same size as the one i gave him. i opened it to find a small black velvet ring box. huh. when i opened the box on its hinges i gasped. a gorgeous emerald pear cut ring with small diamonds surrounding the green stone with a silver band. it was gorgeous. tasteful, classy, simple yet fancy. i was crying and i didn’t know it until his hand was on my cheek wiping away tears.

“you kind of beat me to the ring idea but i still think i scored” he was smiling so wide. a put it on my left ring finger and i jumped over to kiss him as he pulled me into his lap.

“i love you so much. i need you to know that” he said looking up at me after we broke away

“i do. and i love you too. more than you know” i replied, nudging his nose with mine.

-

christmas break at the burrow so far has been just as amazing as i expected. hermione wasn’t there obviously, but i still got to hang out and room with ginny and we were having a blast. quidditch games with the twins were fun because this time i was on their team which was definitely refreshing. they were way too damn good, and just because we were friends when they were on the gryffindor team doesn’t mean they’d go easy on me. quite the opposite actually. in third year i was in the hospital for two days after a really rough bludger from fred knocked me unconscious after hitting me in the head and taking me off my broom. he felt bad but it still hurt like hell.

it’s christmas eve and we were all in the living room cuddled up with tea and coa coa talking about fred and george’s shop and school and everything except the order and or voldemort until a knock came from the door. it was late so the room was full of confused faces while arthur and molly got up to get the door.

“oh goodness draco what happened?” i heard arthur say. i immediately sat up and everyone’s attention was glued to the interaction at the door.

“i’m so sorry Mr. Weasley, i- uh- i just, i didn’t have anywhere else to go” a voice i recognized all to well trailed off. i got up quickly making my way to the door to see a concerned molly standing next to a confused arthur with his hand on a bruised draco with a bloodied lip. my heart sunk and they all looked at me.

“oh my God draco what happened?” i said while closing the space between us and putting a hand up to the bruises on his face. he stuttered and molly looked around to find everyone zeroing in on the conversation.

“let’s go into the kitchen dears, i’ll make some tea for you draco and get you some ice and something for the bruises and your lip” draco nodded while we moved to sit in the kitchen. i could faintly hear molly telling everyone else to mind their own and we’ll let them know what was going on if we felt like it.

“draco what the hell happened to you?” arthur was waiting to hear the answer to my question while draco tried not to meet my eyes.

“m- my dad. he um, he found out about us. he told me that i could either be a true malfoy and follow in his footsteps and leave you or not be a part of the family at all. i told him i wouldn’t do it. i told him i wasn’t going to work for you know who and that you were my family now. that’s when he did this” he said gesturing to his face. my heart hurt. this was my fault. i knew it was better for him to be out of that house and not working for voldemort but i can’t help but think that the pain was because of me.

“draco i’m so sorry” i said with tears running down my face while squeezing his hand.

“well y/n isn’t your only family now son” arthur looked up at molly who seemed to have been around the hear the whole thing. she nodded. at him “there’s space in ron and harry’s room, if you’d like to stay with us. we’d love nothing more than to have you hear draco” draco was crying now. he’d been trying to hold it in. but hearing these words come from a father, hearing loving words, was his breaking point.

“i’m so sorry. for everything my family has done, for everything i’ve done. i- i- i could never truly tell you how much i loathe what my family is” draco said to arthur. “i’m sorry i showed up here so late i know i shouldn’t have i just, i had no where else to go” he looked down. molly came behind him and ran her hands on his shoulders.

“nonsense draco. we know you’ve changed, we’ve heard all about it” she said smiling “y/n is our family and that makes you family too”

the rest of break was actually great. it was cramped but i wasn’t upset about it. draco was feeling so much better after being around a loving family for once. he and harry and ron were actually getting along so well it was scary. i would actually say their friends considering he’s been spending more time with them than me. i actually saw them laughing together once. it was weird. but honestly i couldn’t have been happier to have him here. he was able to give the order information about voldemort and his connections to certain families and their plans. no one thought draco heard as much as he did but his information was valuable.

the rest of the school year was perfect. everyone was getting along, draco was out of his house, the rings on our fingers were a representation of hope for the two of us, and i knew this was the boy i would spend the rest of my life with.

TAGS: @idkmanicantenglish @dracoswhore007 @lordlodge

[volkswagonblues]

I wish you would write a fic about piandao and jeong jeong, like just anything about them but i'd read the SHIT out of the modern au you told me about where they bicker about politics

SO. This is the WORST time to be writing 1.5k of fiction about a modern (well, 90′s) AU starring two dudes who have never even spoken to each other in canon, but uh, the world is awful and I consider creating rarepair content a form of self-care, so here we go.

The context for this is of course, JJ is second-generation Korean-American from LA, Piandao is a foreign student from Taiwan pursuing a doctorate in the US. The year is 1993 and ideas about race, activism, the term “Asian-American” are all up in the air. We are one year post the ‘92 L.A. race riots and four years away from antiretroviral therapy becoming the new treatment standard for HIV. The AIDS crisis is in full swing, as it has been since the 80′s. Welcome to America.

--

“Jujube”

The week after his appendectomy, Piandao is up and moving around by the end of the third day, a full four days ahead of schedule. His shoulder aches, the scar on his stomach hurts, but still, he is up and moving, even though Jeong Jeong rolls his eyes when he catches him walking up and down the length of his bedroom, working the muscles that are suffering more from being bed-bound than from surgery. 

Jeong Jeong, underneath the surly exterior, is a surprisingly maternal caretaker. Piandao has no appetite for anything flavourful in the first few days, which the nurses said was normal. So for every meal since he’s back from the hospital, Jeong Jeong cooks him a bowl of porridge and does it with a degree of care that Piandao honestly did not know he possessed. Piandao wouldn’t have minded just plain white rice and water, but Jeong Jeong, in his typical Jeong Jeong-fashion, disagreed. He spends a long time in Piandao’s kitchen every morning, making what he claims is the superior (ie, Korean) juk that his mother makes, but is really exactly similar to the zhou Piandao is used to back home, only it’s made by an angry Korean man swearing at the morning cable news, taking only occasional breaks to bemoan the sad state of Asian grocery stores in Midwest college towns.

“I’m feeling well enough to cook,” Piandao says on the morning of his fourth day home. “JJ, relax. You don’t have to do everything around here.”

Jeong Jeong looks up from his work: crushing sesame seeds in a plastic bag with the back of a soup spoon. “Shut the fuck up,” he says easily.

“I can at least wash the dishes—“

“I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Bill Ritter.”

Piandao looks at the television in the corner. A news show was on, some Sunday morning thing he doesn’t remember seeing before. Currently, it was showing them three glossy-looking American hosts sitting on glossy-looking American couches. A man in a beige suit was saying something very earnest about the President and Haiti and also taxes. Piandao guesses that he’s Bill Ritter.

“Fucking Clinton already retracting on his fucking word,” Jeong Jeong mutters, then smashes the spoon down with ferocious force; in their plastic bag, the sesame seeds die and ascend to paste in an instant.

Piandao bites back a smile. He switches the channel: ads now, more glossy Americans driving glossy American cars, big and square. The ad changes: a family of four arriving at a motel, everything even bigger and squarer than the previous one. The mother in a big square jacket; the father smile with big square teeth. The kids chatter in excited tones: We’re so happy to be at Holiday Inn Express! Then Piandao hits the off button, and the American family disappears; the screen puckers up into dark silence again.

He slowly feels his way into the kitchen instead. He rather watch Jeong Jeong cook.

On the stove, the porridge bubbles. Jeong Jeong adds the pounded sesame and gives it a stir, then adds more sugar, then milk. He ladles it into two bowls and brings it over to the kitchen table, which is also the living room table, which is also Piandao’s desk where he grades students’ lab reports and corrects exams. There were a few back issues of various astrophysics journals still stacked there; Jeong Jeong puts them to use as coasters. Volume 10, issue 4 of Space Science Review goes to Piandao’s bowl; the special Winter 1992 edition of Annual Review of Astronomy and Astrophysics to Jeong Jeong. Piandao, trailing behind him, brings the spoons. They sit down, knees almost touching.

“How is it?” asks Jeong Jeong.

Piandao blows on his spoon and takes in a mouthful. “Not bad,” he says. “Although it’ll be better with some – I don’t know the word – but those little red fruits.”

“Jujubes,” says Jeong Jeong, and then: “Fuck off, be grateful for what you’ve got. You know how long it took me to even locate some sesame seeds in a Salt Lake City grocery store?”

Sunday morning slants in from between the slats of the crooked window blinds. In the sharp angle of the light, his features look different: the sun picks out the bronze-ish tint in his dark hair, makes the shell of his ear glow pink and red. In front of him, the steam from the porridge unfurls in delicate, thin grey spirals.

Piandao put his spoon down. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says. “You really didn’t have to. The plane ticket from Los Angeles must have been expensive.”

A shrug. “Couldn’t let you die alone in Utah, of all places.”

“It was just an appendectomy. How much did you pay for the flight? I can…I can pay you back, the university gives me a stipend, I can afford it.”

Jeong Jeong sets his spoon down too, picks up the bowls and takes them over to rinse in the sink.

“When I got the call from the secretary,” he says, not looking up from the dish sponge. “She didn’t say what happened. She just said, please can you be informed that Mr. Liu has been taken to the hospital for a medical emergency, she had just gone down the list of his emergency contact numbers and you happened to be the first one who picked up, and then she hung up. I barely got the name of the hospital out of her before she did. Nothing more. I called back and got a busy line. And then I thought – I started thinking – I didn’t know what I was thinking. I got scared. I just came back from SF that day – I went to see Johnny and Gene at the General, and when I got back in and the phone rang and the woman said you were sick too…I don’t know.”

The bowls, scrubbed to death, are getting beyond clean. Jeong Jeong throws the sponge down, where it lands with a wet smack.

“I know you’re not like me,“ he adds wretchedly. “I mean, I know you’re not a homosexual. And besides: fucking Utah? Of all places? I knew it was probably nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Piandao says.

Jeong Jeong stabs a finger in his direction. “But don’t you dare pay me back though. Don’t you even try that shit on me. I will actually punch you if you try.”

Piandao says nothing. He pictures the cramped kitchenette of Jeong Jeong’s apartment off Hoover Street, with its ugly green plastic phone duct-taped to the wall, opposite to the grimy stove and the eternal stacks of takeout containers and the Proud Berkley Grad of ’87 fridge magnet that Piandao had bought him as a joke, when Jeong Jeong finally carried through on his threats and really dropped out, for good this time. He pictures Jeong Jeong stumbling back in fron the hospital, exhausted, and then accepting a long-distance call from Utah anyways.

Jeong Jeong had taken the call and flew out the very next morning. He had came in such a hurry that he brought nothing with him other than the clothes he was wearing and a backpack full of California oranges, because he had some idea that vitamin C was vital to every patient’s recovery, no matter the ailment. He had come to Piandao.

Times like this, Piandao wishes his English is better. Even now, after five years in this country, he has no way to express how he feels, right now, standing in the doorway of his kitchen while Jeong Jeong slams dishes and utensils back into their drawers, shoulders hunched over. Something hot and formless is coursing through his chest, but Piandao can’t shape it. He can’t forge the thing into words.

Perhaps there’s no words at all for this in English. Not in Chinese, either, and not in Korean. There are no words for this in any language in the world.

So Piandao reaches out instead. He touches a hand to the curve of Jeong Jeong’s back, and when Jeong Jeong looks over, questioning, he clears his throat and says:

“I liked it. The zhou.”

“You mean juk,” Jeong Jeong corrects him, as contrary as ever.

“Alright, the juk. It was very good.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not shitting me?”

“No. I should call your mother, tell her what a good chef her son is becoming.”

“Fuck off,” Jeong Jeong says, but he smiles anyways.

Piandao smiles back. His hand is still where he put it, resting on Jeong Jeong’s back, and he does not move it away. This, also – this is an unspoken message, but not for forever. Already Piandao can see the shape of it in his future. Something was unfurling between them, as delicate as steam, as marvellous as light.

[runpogorun]

Gravity

To fill my Marvel Fluff Bingo square, Astronomer AU. No warnings apply, rated G, Matt Murdock/Foggy Nelson, 2759 words. Read it here or over on AO3.

Matt makes his way slowly into the room. The first thing he finds is the couch in the middle, presumably facing the TV, so Matt circles it slowly, his cane tapping lightly between the heavy thud of upholstery on his left and the hollow chink of wooden skirting board. The cane makes a higher tink as it collides with a metal structure and Matt reaches out with his hand, searching, and confirms a metal cabinet. He continues sweeping his cane across the hardwood floor, wary of any rugs, as his hands skate the surface of the cabinet finding photo frames, three clustered plant pots. He sends some loose sheets of paper skating off the surface and freezes, trying to track their direction of flight. 

“Don’t worry about it!” Foggy calls from the kitchen. “I’ll get them.” 

Matt turns his head over his shoulder, towards Foggy, and grins sheepishly. “Sorry. Comes with the territory.”

Foggy tsks quietly. “It’s not a problem. They’re just bills. You said whisky, right?”

Matt nods, “Yes, thanks,” and resumes his exploration. There’s an open doorway just past the cabinet, and Matt pauses, head tilted. “This the bathroom?”

“Yup.”

Matt moves his cane again, and it twangs in his hand with another metal vibration. But this doesn’t feel as heavy as the cabinet. He frowns, and reaches forward as he hears Foggy come up behind him.

“Oh, that’s a little more fragile, but feel free to… feel away.”

Intriguing. Matt stretches through space and finds smooth, painted metal with his fingertips. The metal is curved into a tube, and as his fingers move along it they find an encircling ridge. The object gives under his touch, and he finds the pivot point, the tripod suspending it. He tucks his cane under his arm and takes a step forward, using both hands to get a better idea of its dimensions.

Matt turns his head back in Foggy’s direction. “Is a telescope actually useful in New York City?”

Foggy makes a considering noise. “It’s alright. Not as good as, say, the Socorro Desert. But I can still see things.”

“Does your apartment have roof access?”

“Not the apartment itself, but the super lets me use the service stairs. 

“Nice.”

“Yeah.”

Matt files that away, drops his hands and turns towards Foggy. “Shall we sit?”

“Sure.” Foggy moves towards the couch. “Did you find the couch? It’s over here.” He pats the cushion with an open palm, a firm thump of orienting sound.

Matt smiles at him. “Yes, thanks.” There’s a coffee table as well that Foggy forgot to mention, but he expected that. He folds up his cane and drops it on the coffee table and sits down next to Foggy before accepting his drink. “So, what sort of things do you like to look at? You’re not a creeper, are you?” He takes a sip, revelling as always in the first burn.

Foggy laughs loudly at that. “No. I’m an astronomer.”

Matt tilts his head. “You said you were a teacher.”

“I am. I teach Observational Astronomy and Cosmology at NYU.”

Matt laughs. “And here I was, thinking you were a dance teacher.” Foggy had held the class in his palm, everyone drawn to him, like he had the strongest gravitational pull in the room. It had only taken three classes for Matt to succumb, and accept an invitation for a drink.

“That’s just a hobby. I like to boogie. And it’s a good way to meet people,” Foggy says, nudging Matt with his elbow.  

Matt raises his glass, and Foggy clinks them together. “Slainte. So, do you do this often?” He takes a sip.

“Meet people?”

“Bring strange men back to your apartment.”

Foggy laughs at that. “Strangers are friends we haven’t yet met. But, honestly? No. I don’t.”

Matt considers that. He, in contrast, does do this often, but usually only once or twice with the same person. Matt’s a comet, shooting in and out, plenty of noise and fuss but little substance.

“How about you,” Foggy asks.

“Me?” Matt mentally scans through all the men and women he’s dated in recent history. This may not be the moment to share that information.

“How do you make your crust?”

“Oh.” Matt leans back against the couch cushions and stretches an arm along the seat back, towards Foggy. “I’m a lawyer,” he says, mouth quirking in a slight smile, and waits for the inevitable praise. People are always impressed.

“Oh cool. I nearly did Law,” Foggy says. People often say this - it’s one of those throwaway lines. But then he adds, “I was aiming for Columbia but then… I took an intro to Astronomy class over the summer after high school and I sort of… fell into the stars.”

Matt tilts his head. “Tell me about it.”

Foggy hums, consideringly. “I’d always been interested, you know?” he says. “But I hadn’t really thought that it could be my job. I thought it would be fun to take the class, that it would be interesting. So I did.”

“Always a solid choice, choosing the interesting.”

“It was residential, close to an observatory. One morning we got up in the middle of the night, and towards dawn I saw the Orion Nebula. It’s near Orion’s Belt.  And it was so beautiful, and unknown. I wanted more. I couldn’t stop thinking of what else must be out there. 

“I mean, we do know a lot now, especially when a probe like Juno fires back information, but also a lot of it we can’t exactly know. No one knows what it’s like to stand on the surface of Eros, not really. Or what the Helix Nebula looks like from the inside. We can model it, sure, but we can’t know. I was hungry to find out what I could. I was hooked.” Foggy stops, abruptly, and Matt can hear him sip his drink.

Matt is struck by the emotion in Foggy’s voice, growing with every word. “That’s a great story,” he says. “Not everyone finds their passion, or follows it.

Foggy takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “Yeah. You know, I don’t usually tell people all that, right out of the blocks.”

“I guess I should feel honoured,” Matt says.

“You should, my friend,” Foggy says, the humour back in his voice.

Matt angles his head towards the telescope in the corner. “And that. Do you use it often?”

“Uh yeah, I do, actually.” Matt can hear Foggy shifting against the cushions, like he’s embarrassed again, caught out. “I mean, it’s no match for the Keck telescopes, but it still lets me look. I like looking.”

“Why don’t you show me?” Matt suggests. “I mean, if it’s a good night for it.”

Foggy holds his breath for a moment, then lets out a puff of laughter. “Sure. Why not.” 

It takes a minute to get sorted. Matt snaps out his cane, stashes the whisky bottle under his free arm and holds the glasses in that hand. Foggy is gentle, almost reverent, with the telescope as he folds up the tripod. They head out the apartment door, Foggy and telescope leading, Matt and whisky following, and up the stairwell to the roof. 

The summer air is still warm, but cooler than the oppressive heat of the day. “Over here,” Foggy says. There’s a table and a couple of chairs set up to one side, and Matt settles down to listen as Foggy fusses over the equipment.

“You do do this often.”

“Mmm. It’s nice up here. Quiet.”

Matt listens to the sound of cars rushing in the street below. It’s muffled, sure, and you can’t ever escape cars in New York City. But Foggy’s right. It is peaceful.

“What do you see?”

“There’s still some light in the sky from the sun, but Mars is close and bright. And Venus. Not that I need the telescope for them.”

“You don’t?”

“Not to find them. They’re just like bright stars. But it’s not really dark enough yet. I’ll wait a bit.” The other chair creaks as Foggy sinks into it. “Tell me about your law practice, Matt. Are you a corporate hotshot?”

“Not so much.” Matt shrugs. “It’s just me and my partner Kirsten, and our paralegal Karen. I mostly do what Kirsten says.”

“Partner?”

“Business partner,” Matt says, smiling at Foggy. “Best friend from law school.” 

“What kind of work do you do?”

“Small stuff, mostly. Tenancy disputes, work visas, that kind of thing. Most of our clients come from here in the Kitchen.”

“Sticking up for the little guy!” Foggy cries. “Show me some skin.” Matt holds up his palm and Foggy high fives him. “That’s what I wanted to do.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Well, like I said, it was the stars. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d learned in that in astronomy class. And I’m good at Math, so that helps. I ended up switching from Philosophy to Physics before the year started. And then I went on to get my doctorate at UC Davis. My parents were devastated when they realised I wasn’t going to drive a Bentley” he says, laughing.

Matt laughs with him. “Academia isn’t really a way to make money, is it?”

“It’s really, really not. Not like law. Mom wanted me to be a butcher but that was never going to happen, so at least I could have done something which would have made me rich. Such a disappointment.”

Matt laughs at that. “You sound like me. I’ll never be rich.”

“Your family counting on you for the bucks, too?”

Matt sobers. “Uh, not exactly.” He needs to get off this topic, now. “How far into the galaxy do you usually look?”

“The radiotelescope guys look right back in time, as far as we can look. But I kind of like our neighbourhood - our solar system. Each planet in our solar system is a whole world. Well, obviously they literally are worlds. They’re suspended, hanging in the enormous void of space. They look so serene, from Earth, as they hurtle through the endless blackness, but they’re dynamic and complex. Did you know that the Great Red Spot on Jupiter is so large that two Earths could fit side by side inside it? It’s an enormous storm that’s been raging for at least 150 years, probably much longer.”

Matt shakes his head. “I don’t know much about any of it.”

“We’re all so far from each other, and together at the same time. Once you leave our solar system it’s 25 trillion miles to the next one.”

“The next galaxy?”

“The next solar system. Our galaxy is fifty-two thousand light years across.”

Matt shakes his head. It’s too big a number to make sense.

“We’re bound by gravity to the rest of our solar system. There are so many stars and planets out beyond the Kuiper Belt,” Foggy continues, “And we’ll never be able to reach them. We can’t even see most of what we know is out there, we just have to make an educated guess at it, work it out from the clues.”

Matt half-smiles to himself, and takes a sip of his drink. “Seeing and knowing are two different things.”

“Uh, yeah, of course, I didn’t mean to--” 

Matt cuts him off with the wave of his hand. “So you took the class, and fell in love with astronomy?”

“Oh no, that happened much earlier. Growing up in the city I never saw that many stars, you know? When I was eleven I went away on summer camp to this place upstate. We stayed in these little cabins in the woods by a lake, just outside a small town. It was weird - so quiet, but sometimes you’d hear a wild animal. And at night, the stars! I didn’t know the sky could be like that. Like grains of sand scattered across a velvet blanket. I’d sneak out in the middle of the night when the sky was truly dark, and the entire sky was covered with stars. The trees were only visible as the places where the stars weren’t. 

“I discovered later that Aboriginal people in Australia, who live in the desert where obviously it’s really dark and the sky is very clear, have constellations that are the darker areas between the stars. The reverse of us who live with more light pollution. All people look up at the stars. We all wonder.”

Foggy suddenly sounds like he’s come back to himself, remembered where he was. “I’m sorry, I’m doing all the talking and this is probably really boring.”

“No,” Matt says quietly. “It’s not. I’ve never heard a description like this before. I-” He cuts himself off, unsure how to carry on without making himself sound wistful, and smiles. “I like it. I like listening to your voice.”

Foggy makes a quiet, pleased sound. “That’s a great line. I feel like I should be saying things with gravitas, or beautiful things. She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars,” he quotes.

“Now that’s pretty,” Matt says.

“It’s Neil Gaiman. And he’s right, about the stars and planets dancing, caught in each other’s gravity.”

Matt smiles. “So then, tell me,” he prompts, gesturing upwards. “What’s there to see tonight? You said Venus?”

“Let’s see.” Foggy stands and goes again to the telescope. Matt hears the quiet scrape of metal as Foggy adjusts the focus. “There’s Jupiter. It’s high and bright right now. And Venus and Mars.” 

Foggy’s quiet, and Matt considers how far away his focus is. It’s hard for Matt to have a clear impression of anything beyond the reach of his hands - when he’s not touching something it could be anywhere, just out of reach or miles away. But Foggy looks at planets thousands of miles away, places he can never touch but he knows.

“Sometimes it’s better not to use the telescope at all,” Foggy says. “The Leonids meteor shower is going to arrive in a couple of months, and that’s better observed with the naked eye.”

“What are meteor showers like?”

“Fireworks. Bright, white hot stripes painting the sky. Streaking across the heavens.”

“But no boom.” Matt places his empty glass on the small table next to the bottle, and his glasses alongside.

“Good point! And several nights in a row. I’m looking forward to it.” Foggy sounds like he’s turned back to the telescope. 

Matt stands, the whisky now making him loose-limbed and easy, and walks slowly towards Foggy. His hand is slightly extended, reaching for the tune Foggy’s humming under his breath - it’s Drops of Jupiter. He clears his throat. “And what do you see, closer to home?” His voice is low and husky.

Foggy jumps and turns and his arm bumps Matt’s hand. “Oh! Um. Well.” Matt hears him take a quick breath, as Matt brings his hand to rest on Foggy’s shoulder. “I can see at least one beautiful thing.”

“That’s very cheesy,” Matt says, sliding his hand up to Foggy’s neck, then further to cup his cheek. He fans his thumb across to Foggy’s mouth, finding a goatee, and feels Foggy lean in to match him. “But I like it,” he breathes.

Foggy makes a small noise of pleasure for the brief moment that his warm, soft lips are pressed against Matt’s own. Matt brings his other hand to Foggy’s face, sliding both hands back and finding that Foggy’s hair is pulled back into a low pony.

“I didn’t think long hair would be allowed, Professor?” Matt asks.

Foggy huffs a laugh. “It’s Doctor to you, and anything goes these days.” He rests his forehead against Matt’s. “I like you,” he says, breathless.

“Really,” Matt says, one eyebrow lifted.

“I promise I’m usually better at… Words. And things.”

“What sort of things.”

“Oh, I can totally show you. But I feel obligated at this point to tell you that my super has a CCTV camera on this rooftop, and he is probably watching us right now because that’s the kind of guy he is. So, maybe we could take this back downstairs? If I’ve wooed you enough with the stars.”

“I could stand to hear more,” Matt says. “But yes, let’s go inside, and continue the story there.” And Matt follows Foggy again, drawn along by his gravity. He wonders what happens to a comet that gets caught in a gravitational field it can’t escape, wonders if he’s going to find out.

[candied-peach]

ao3: “still standing” rating: T warnings: supernatural au, blood, food, cheating implication (but no actual cheating), remus typical stuff, sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, dukeceit genre: angst with a happy ending description: Sometimes the best present is each other. And perhaps a Milkbone? (written for @timelesstragedy as part of sanders sides secret santa 2019 ♡) (beta’ed by the amazing TheLittleTrashCat)

It's getting late, Dee frets, shoving his hands in his coat pockets and wandering down the sidewalk, eyes scanning the busy shops for any sign of his boyfriend. Snowflakes lazily spiral down from a slate grey sky, nestling in the soft wool of his yellow hat, knitted by his friend, Patton. It's a little clumsy, but Dee treasures it.

He also treasures the lack of sun right about now. The stories are, in the whole, wrong (he has no issue with garlic, for instance, and the profusion of selfies on his phone shoot down the pernicious idea that he can't see his own reflection), but the sun certainly doesn't do him any favors. He doesn't burst into flames or anything as dramatic as that, but it does weaken him. And a lack of energy does not bode well when it comes to dealing with his boyfriend.

Speaking of Remus, Christmas is fast approaching and Dee still has no idea what to get him. Nothing that springs to mind feels worthy of the greatest gift to ever stumble into Dee's life. He knows that a lot of people are put off by Remus. They find him abrasive, crude, and obnoxious. Gross, even, by his sense of humor and lack of personal boundaries. But Dee knows he's trying, he really is, and what's wrong with a little exuberance and curiosity? No one else in his life has ever dragged him out of bed at three in the morning to go pelt stray students with open packets of barbecue sauce (they almost got caught by campus police and Dee nearly forgot in his panic to run like a normal human would, not putting on a preternatural burst of speed).

His tongue absently swipes across one of his fangs (dismissed as an unusually sharp canine tooth) as he finally catches a glimpse of Remus, talking animatedly to a mall Santa who looks like he's just clocked out for the day. The mall Santa has a dazed look on his face under the fake white beard. A common occurrence for strangers meeting Remus for the first time, Dee thinks in amusement as he sidles their way.

"-and personally, I think frog spawn makes a great gift," Dee hears as he picks his way across a thin scrim of ice. Remus turns his head, catching sight of Dee, and his whole face lights up.

"Dee Dee!" He exclaims, abandoning the mall Santa without a second thought. "There you are!" As if he's not the one who ran off in the first place.

"Here I am," Dee agrees. The wind is cold suddenly, biting into his exposed skin and making the birthmark that covers one half of his face ache. He still doesn't know why it does that. Perhaps it is a side effect of his vampiric status? It certainly never did it before, or perhaps he never paid enough attention. "Are you ready to go?"

"For now," Remus says. "What next?"

"We're meeting up with Virgil, aren't we?" Dee asks, surprised by the cloud that sweeps briefly over Remus's face. "Is something the matter?"

"No," Remus denies. It's a lie, but Dee doesn't want to push it. Remus will tell him when he wants to tell him and until then, he'll clam up, stubborn as any old hard-headed mule.

Virgil waits for them at the smoothie shop- surprisingly still busy, despite the icy weather. He stands out amongst the festive shoppers, clad in purple and black like a gloomy storm cloud. Purple-dyed hair falls over one eye and black eyeshadow swoops beneath both eyes. He smiles when he sees Dee and Remus, standing up from the tiny table he'd ensconced himself.

"Hey," Virgil greets. "Did you get everything you wanted?"

"Not quite," Dee admits, rueful. "It's so hard to buy for this one." He nudges Remus playfully. "I want to buy him the moon and stars, but sadly, they aren't for sale."

"Ask Logan," Virgil jokes. Logan is the neighborhood librarian, and he is more obsessed with astronomy than any person Dee has ever met.

"Buy me a human skull," Remus suggests, his eyes glittering with suppressed laughter. "Ooh, better yet, Dee Dee, just get me a human skull! A fresh one!"

"I'd rather not end up in prison," Dee says, laughing. "But there's a macabre idea. I like it."

"Want a smoothie?" Virgil asks. Dee nods.

"Nah," Remus says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. His shopping bags dangle from his elbows. Virgil wanders up to the counter and Dee takes a seat, sighing as the weight is lifted from his feet.

"Are you still going out with Virgil later?" Remus asks abruptly. Dee nods.

"Present shopping," he lies. In reality, he and Virgil are fang buddies (although he's told Virge more than once never to utter that phrase again), and they need to go and feed.

"Oh," Remus says, his face clearing a little. "Okay."

"Here you go," Virgil says, arriving breathless, his cheeks flushed. He presses a berry smoothie into Dee's hands, sipping on his own mango one. Dee takes a happy sip, offering the straw to his boyfriend. Remus regards it for a moment, then takes a noisy slurp, his cheeks hollowing out.

"Leave some for me," Dee jokes. Remus's eyes sparkle as he swallows his mouthful of ice cold smoothie, before pain creases his forehead.

"Smoothie headache," he says, his voice creaky.

"Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth," Virgil advises. "I think it's supposed to help." Remus looks dubious, but does it anyway. Moments later, relief floods his face. Dee brushes a few strands of his unruly hair out of his face, fingers sliding through the grey streak in front. Remus won't admit if he's dyed it or if it's a stroke of luck that it's all centered in one or two locks of hair (although Dee's money is on Remus dyeing it).

They start the long trek home not long after, Virgil trailing after them. Dee is acutely aware of the other vampire's presence, even as he makes small talk with his boyfriend. He reaches over and snags some of the bags Remus is juggling, purely to grasp the chance to hold Remus's hand. Remus's slow growing smile is a reward in and of itself, and it makes precious warmth bloom in his chest.

"Love you," Dee murmurs, just loud enough for Remus to hear. Red stains Remus's cheeks, climbing up his neck, and Dee smiles in satisfaction.

"You little-" Remus cuts himself off abruptly.

Virgil's phone rings behind them, disturbing the moment.

"Sorry to interfere in your homosexual love affair, guys," Virgil says dryly. "But I gotta take this. It's Patton." He slows further, mumbling into the phone until Dee can't hear him very well.

Patton is a mutual friend who just so happens to be a werewolf. You would never know it, though, looking at his sunny exterior, Dee muses. Slightly chubby, spattered with freckles, and always smiling, he doesn't exactly fit the 'look.' Then again, Dee doesn't really look like a vampire, does he?

Now Virgil, he really looks the part, a brooding emo with purple-dyed hair and a perpetually black wardrobe. People used to jokingly call him a vampire in high school. They never knew how much it hurt him. Maybe it shouldn't have, Virgil told him one night, as they sat on the roof of the school and watched the moon come up. But it did, anyway.

I could hurt them, he remembers Virgil saying, sprawled out over the roof. I could really, really hurt them. Bet they wouldn't make fun of me then.

But you won't, Dee had said, with utter certainty.

No, Virgil had admitted. I won't.

Remus slides an arm around Dee's waist, pulling him free of his reverie.

"Do you have to go so soon?" He whines, licking Dee's ear. Dee scrunches his face.

"Don't do that," he says, laughing. "And I don't have to leave quite yet."

"Good," Remus says smugly, just as Virgil catches back up, stuffing his phone in his pocket.

"Patton wants to join our quest," Virgil says. "If that's okay with you, Dee." What looks like relief passes over Remus's face as Dee nods and he wonders why.

"Fine by me," he says. He knows what Virgil really means. Patton has found a willing blood donor this time.

"Here we are," Dee says, stopping by the walk up to their apartment. "See you in a little while, Virge."

"See you!" He says, giving a short flap of his fingers and continuing on, shoulders hunched.

"I'm going to find you the best Christmas present in the whole world," Dee tells his boyfriend, as they start up the stairs. Remus looks wistfully at him.

"I just need you, Dee Dee," he says. "You know that, right?"

Dee doesn't know what to say to that.

-----

Remus watches his boyfriend continue up the steps, too low to even give his customary salacious wink and wiggle. It's a sign of how preoccupied Dee must be that he doesn't notice. He hopes that it's purely because of what Dee said, he's trying to come up with the perfect Christmas present (Remus himself has long since given up on the idea of perfection). But he can't help but fret there's a more sinister undertone, one that he desperately doesn't want to think about.

It's just your intrusive thoughts, he tries to convince himself, as Dee unlocks their front door and ushers him inside, shopping bags banging against his side. It must be just his intrusive thoughts. Dee wouldn't do something like that, would he? Not with their friend, Virgil.

But he's been friends with Virgil a lot longer than he's been boyfriends with Remus. And they're always hanging out. Dee never outright excludes him, but after a long life in his brother Roman's shadow, Remus knows when he's not wanted.

But Patton will be there, he argues with himself, taking his shopping to put up in the back of the closet, where Dee can't reach without a step stool. He's always been a little persnickety about his short stature, but Remus has to admit it has its uses right about now.

Unless Patton is in on it-

But no. Not even his intrusive thoughts can believe that. The same goes for Logan, the librarian who's so much fun to tease when he gets all prickly. He knows all the cool books about cephalopods, though, so Remus doesn't tease him too much. Besides, if he does, Roman will find out and he's taken great pains to distance himself from his brother.

It's not that he doesn't like Roman. He does. They're twins, after all. But Roman is-

Well, it feels like Roman is everything that Remus is not. Roman is good. Valiant. A prince. Human.

Remus winces as his own thoughts remind him of the monster he transforms into, every full moon. He keeps his human mind when he transforms, but somehow, that's almost worse.

Sometimes he wishes his brother shared it. Other times, he's relieved that Roman, at least, gets to be normal. He knows, of course. It would have been pretty hard growing up otherwise. But it's always been impressed into both twins that it's a family secret. Not even Dee knows, and Remus kind of hates himself for it. Dee isn't hiding some earth-shattering secret like being a werewolf-

No, instead you're just freaking out that he's cheating on you and you don't even have the balls to ask him straight up what's going on. He winces, returning to the living room, where Dee has sprawled out on the sofa, winter coat folded over the arm.

"You all right?" Dee asks, his brows crinkling in concern.

"Never better, Sir Hiss a Lot!" Remus chirps, lying through his teeth. "Just a little tired, that's all." He flops dramatically next to Dee on the couch, hand splayed over his eyes.

"Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well," Dee says, deadpan. "Are you going to take a nap then? When I leave?"

"Yeah, probably," Remus says, letting his arm flop to one side. He turns his face aside, avoiding the truth.

He intends on napping. That much is true. But he also knows that curiosity is burning like a trash fire, deep in his belly, and he can't guarantee that he won't try his hand at a bit of espionage. He used to follow his brother around all the time when they were kids, and Roman never suspected a thing.

"Okay," Dee says, cuddling into his side and basking in his warmth. He feels cold and Remus yanks him closer, wrapping a warm arm around his boyfriend and breathing in the soft scent of Dee's shampoo.

There's nothing going on. He's sure of it, he thinks, relief sagging his shoulders. There is no way that Dee can cuddle him so lovingly and have something going on the side. He knows his boyfriend.

But he thinks maybe he'll follow Dee, anyway. Just for the practice.

-----

"Sleep well, my little cephalopod," Dee murmurs, kissing Remus's forehead. His boyfriend whines, clutching at him, and for a moment, he's tempted to text Virgil and tell him that he can't come after all.

But no, it's been too long since he last fed, and it's hard enough to line up willing donors as it is. He feels like an ass when their only option is a blood bank (as funny as it is to think of a vampire stabbing their teeth into a bag of blood like a Capri Sun), but he refuses to feed from someone who's not willing.

Virgil's waiting outside, his hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie.

"Remus is gonna take a nap," Dee greets him. "Do you think maybe I should tell him on Christmas?"

"If you want to," Virgil says, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I don't think that he'd freak out."

"I don't think so, either," Dee says. He bites his lower lip in thought. "I just- What if he doesn't believe me? What if he does and wants to break up with me?"

"What if you're borrowing trouble when there is none?" Virgil counters. Dee laughs shakily.

"All right, good point," he acknowledges. "So, where's Patton and this mystery donor, anyway?"

"The library," Virgil says. "Patton reserved a conference room."

"Only Pat," Dee murmurs, with a laugh. "Afterwards, I still need to buy Remus a Christmas present." He sighs. "I hope Logan and Pat have some ideas, because I am clueless."

"Have you asked his brother?" Virgil asks. Dee looks at him in surprise.

"You know, I still haven't managed to meet him?" Dee says. "Remus always has an excuse."

"I've only met him a couple times when he's hung out with Pat," Virgil says. "But I think he and Remus don't get along very well."

"I wonder why," Dee muses.

"He and Remus are complete opposites," Virgil says. "I prefer Remus, to be honest." A fond smile touches Dee's lips.

"So do I," he says, a dreamy look entering heterochromatic eyes. Virgil snorts, elbowing him.

"Of course you do," he says.

"Dee! Virge!" Patton's exuberant voice spills out of the library doors before the rest of him. He beams at the two of them, hands clasped in front of him. He reminds Dee of a Christmas postcard, dressed in a pastel blue sweater, his familiar cat hoodie tied loosely over his shoulders. It has always amused Dee that a werewolf would be so enamoured with cats (although Patton's deathly allergic and Dee's had to tug him away more than once).

"Back here," Patton says, leading them into the warm confines of the library. Logan nods to them from the reference desk, adjusting his glasses as he bends over his computer. The library is closing soon, but that's all right. Logan and Patton have arranged everything. It's easier for them to do it. Virgil gets so anxious about the thought of arranging his own blood donor that he would rather die of thirst, and Dee's too self-conscious about his birthmark. He still does, of course, but he has to admit that it's easier when Patton volunteers. He likes to arrange for a special tray of Patton's favorite cookies to be sent over afterwards. Patton loves his cookies, especially chocolate chip ones.

"Are they here, Patton?" An unfamiliar voice asks from the dimness of the conference room.

"Yep!" Patton answers cheerily. It's easier when it's dark, Dee thinks as he sidles past the pun-loving werewolf. At least for the initial bite. He doesn't mind seeing afterward, but looking into someone's eyes right before you sink your fangs into them is a little, well-

Uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Don't take too much," Virgil cautions, but Dee already knows the generally unspoken rules. Their new blood donor sits at one of the tables, and Dee can barely see the pale expanse of his neck, bared to him.

"Er, maybe your arm would be better?" Dee suggests, hesitant. "Just so, you know, you don't have two holes in your neck..."

"Oh!" He sounds startled, but soon enough, a wrist is thrust in front of Dee's mouth. "That makes much more sense. I just assumed-"

"A lot of people do," Dee says, trying to hide his amusement. "This will only take a moment."

He sinks his fangs into the delicate skin of the stranger's wrist, just beginning to feed, when suddenly the overhead light flares on, and he looks into the shocked eyes of someone who could only be Remus's twin.

"Remus, I told you, they're busy in the-" He hears Logan's voice stutter to a stop as Dee jerks back from who could only be Roman, eyes wide.

"When I followed you, I thought I had to worry about Virgil, not my own brother," Remus says. He sounds utterly heartbroken, and Dee feels his heart crack that much more, hearing the utter desolation in Remus's voice.

"Remus, it isn't what you think," Virgil tries, but Dee could have told him it's the exact wrong thing to say.

"Really?" Remus snaps. Now he sounds very brittle. "My own boyfriend won't even face me. He's too busy facing my stupid twin." Dee's not facing him because he's too afraid blood is smeared all over his mouth, but how can he say that? As if his boyfriend will believe that he's a vampire now.

"That's what I thought," Remus says heavily. Dee stands there, listening to the plod of his boyfriend's boots, leaving the conference room, and his heart shatters.

"This has gone on long enough," Logan says after several long, tense moments. Dee's eyes burn with the force of his suppressed tears. "Dee, he deserves to know the truth."

"My brother's boyfriend is a vampire," Roman says, staring in wonder at the puncture marks on his wrist. "That's a new one."

"I'm sorry," Dee whispers. It's all his throat will let past.

"No need," Roman says. "Hey-" He thrusts his other wrist at Virgil. "You were gonna feed, too, weren't you?" Virgil jumps, his eyes darting around the room.

"Maybe later," he says. "I uh- this should probably get resolved."

"Agreed," Logan says crisply. "There is no reason to hide the truth of your vampire status from him any longer, Dee."

"But what if he-" Dee starts.

"I think he'll accept it," Roman promises. "I can't say why, but trust me. He will."

Dee heaves a ragged sigh.

"I hope you're right," he says.

-----

A brisk knock on the door interrupts Remus's crying jag. He looks up from the pint of Ben & Jerry's he's dived into, eyes red rimmed and nose running.

"I'm not in the mood to hear it!" He yells at the door. "Why don't you go back to my brother?" Of all the scenes he thought he would walk into at the library, seeing Dee bent so lovingly over his own twin never even came close to the realm of possibility. It still hurts, burning deep inside like a tablespoon of sea salt packed into an open wound.

"Your brother is with us," Logan calls back, his voice measured. "Dee has the key, Remus. We are coming in, whether you like it or not."

"Fine," Remus growls, dropping the spoon into his ice cream and stalking over to the door, jerking it open. Sure enough, everyone is crowded in the hallway. Dee's eyes look just as swollen as his own must be, and Remus feels a vicious splinter of satisfaction at the sight.

"Please let us in," Patton requests, twisting the knotted together sleeves of his cat hoodie. Remus steps back, watching them shuffle past him. Dee won't even meet his eyes.

"What do you want?" He asks sharply.

"You misinterpreted what happened at the library," Logan says.

"I'm not cheating on you," Dee whispers. "I wouldn't- I couldn't, Remus, it would physically destroy me, I love you so much-"

"Then explain your little lovey dovey scene with my brother," Remus hisses. Dee winces.

"It's complicated," he mumbles. "I, um-"

"This will take forever," Logan says, with an exasperated huff of breath. "Dee's a vampire, Remus. So is Virgil. Roman was going to be their blood donor."

"And I'm a werewolf!" Patton pipes up, an uncertain smile spreading across his face.

"What?" Remus asks blankly.

"I'm a vampire," Dee says, glaring at Logan. "Logan's not wrong. Virgil and me- we are best friends, but a lot of the time, when we don't invite you, it's because we need blood, and I, um... I didn't know how you'd react."

"You thought I wouldn't accept you?" Remus asks. Hesitant, Dee shrugs.

"I don't know?" He says. "And that's- well, that's part of the problem, I didn't think you'd take it bad or want to break up or think I was crazy, but I didn't know-"

"Bluebirds on bagels, this is too funny," Remus says, leaning against the wall and wheezing a little. "Roman, you didn't tell them?"

"It's your secret, bro," Roman says. Dee looks at him in confusion.

"It's been a big family secret," Remus says. "And I've been so afraid to tell you, but I'm a werewolf."

"Like me!" Patton squeals, and suddenly, Remus has an armful of Patton, squeezing him round the middle.

"Like you," Remus agrees. He looks up, serious. "I'm sorry, Dee. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that. It wasn't fair- to anyone."

"I should have told you sooner," Dee says, his gaze downcast. "I'm sorry." Remus crosses the room, tugging Dee to him.

"I love you," Remus says, kissing Dee's temples. "So much."

"And I you," Dee murmurs. Remus barely registers the others filing out, shutting the door with a quiet click.

"I guess I'll have to find you a real Christmas present tomorrow," Dee mumbles, as Remus leads him to the sofa, curling up on it and pulling him to Remus's side.

"I told you," Remus says, peering into Dee's mismatched eyes. "The only Christmas present I need is you."

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