#ITS BEEN DONE SINCE DAY 3???
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Love letter!!!
Spears and hunter for day 4!!
#I UH#I JUST FORGOT TO POST THIS??#ITS BEEN DONE SINCE DAY 3???#whatever#rain world#rw love letter#rw hunter#rw spearmaster#scug shipruary day 4#scug shipruary#my art
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#sherlock#it might be the cough medicine but I'm really feeling the bbc sherlock wedding episode today#a good feeling ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#like finding an old block of cheese in the back of the fridge you forgot about and its gotten super hard and chewy#i currently have half a block of gouda curating in the vegetable cupboard#waiting#how are you doing friends!! C:#I'm good! I still have the cough but I also got a new scarf#I'm still thinking about buying window colors as well but I am waiting if that is also just because of the cough medicine#I can't believe it's already been a year since I have moved! last year I was doing everything here for the first time#and now everything is happening for a second time! that year was both very long and also happened very fast#our floor in the “office” my father wanted to install still is not completly done but he threw up last time he tried#he did not threw up because of the floor but because every time he does a home renovation project he drinks 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola#we are trying to not make him drink 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola but he doesn't want anyone else to finish the floor I think so we just do#not mention the hole in the floor#have a nice autumn day friends!! I hope you're doing well! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )#♥
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Hi hope u r well and will draw soon the masses are craving art of the fattest gale yet my liege
Hello the masses, I present to you this humble offering
#maybe not my fattest yet but thats for another day. gotta keep ya in suspense#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale bg3#my art#personal#asks#anon#its been a while since ive done like. a nice rlly quick n chill sketch :3
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lil pocky day comic
#mistral scribbles#oc#its been a while since ive done an actual comic I forgot how much went into it lol#pocky day was like 3 days agooooo
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Behold! My new creation!
A shiny litwik!! I have named them paperweight! After the only purpose a candle I have kept move after move has served me haha!
#I had the whole day to myself so I got them done in a single day!#hehe I’m so unused to making original posts especially back to back ones!#this guy is so smol! they fit right in my hand!#haha I now have a giant and a tiny plushy#I made them shiny cause I was out of purple yarn >:3 ingenuity/silly#I’m so happy so many people liked my last project! its been so sweet seeing such nice words and so many likes!! ^w^ thank you all!#I speak!#my art!#pokemon#been inspired to make a pokemon since my friend started playing one of the games with me!#(aka they do everything and I give ✨amazing✨ name suggestions for the creatures/silly)
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endless gifs of marisa coulter ~(33/?)
#mine*#egmc#hdm#his dark materials#hdmedit#mrs coulter#marisa coulter#ruth wilson#it has been SO long since ive done one of these holy moly#cant believe i havent done this scene before she was serving so hard here#its con in like a month and i was going to try and knock up a mrs c cosplay before then so ive been studying this costume#cause it feels like the most iconic#but also there is a hat and i can sew but idk how to make hats#so it feels like an objectively stupid choice#esp when i could do cittagazze safari costume or something and be comfortable all day#anyway thoughts and suggestions welcome?#also stopped doing edits cause my uni photoshop subscription ran out and i didnt want to pay but then i remembered not paying anyway <3#also i can stand that my top posts are now all my stupid fucking textposts so here you are my loves
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
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A mothers superpower is knowing exactly what to say to make everything worse
#like#since all the shit with my ex roommate i feel like i cant trust myself not to hurt the people around me#and i dont understand what ive done wrong so i cant fix it#so im just stuck being terrible and hurting people#and my mother told me the other day#that when her foster father was dying she took me to see him one last time#i was maybe 3 years old#and before this every time we'd go to see him i loved playing with him and just sitting with him and whatnot#but this time he was in really bad shape#he was weekd away from dying#and he looked like it#and as soon as we walked in he called me and told me to come sit with him#and i froze and backed away#he asked me what was wrong and i said he was a monster#my mother said he understood that he looked terrible and i just didnt recognize him anymore#but that it broke his heart#so you know#its nice to know that ive just always been terrible#and hurting people that care about me is just some innate part of who i am
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AAAAAA I WAN T TO BE ABLE TO REPLY TO POSTS AND SEND IN ASKS SOOOO BAD RRRRRRGHHH MY PATIENCE IS GROWING VERY THIN. PRETEND THAT YOU ARE GETTING SO MANY NICE AND SUPPORTIVE REPLIES TO YOUR POSTS BECAUSE I AM THINKINH THEM IN MY MIND I SWEARRRR
#it has been 1 (one) day since I have sent in a tumblr support request <\3 I have zero patience I gotta work on that#its gonna be so over for you all when I am freed from these restraints#I will reply soooo much just because I can#not a pikmin post#still tho I wonder wtf I did wrong to get shadowbanned in the first place#trying to think back to older posts on older blogs……..#all I did was geek out about pokemon#might’ve been because I said I wanted to put morpeko in a garbage disposal but I stand by that#not as hugely into pokemon anymore but I will still passionately hate on morpeko#specifically morpeko in the anime I have no qualms with the lad in the games#but is it a crime to be a hater? <\\\\3 you can’t blame me. pokemon journeys was ass#at least team rocket was that was the only reason I was watching#they got done so dirty I’m still not over that. damn. I’m getting off topic
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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Btw sorry for not getting to asks and drawing lately, I've been busy for almost the whole past week. hangs my head low
#clemramble#last week I was stuck on dog watching duty for 3 days which doesnt sound bad#until you realize one of them is like 16 years old and losing control of certain body functions. old age and all you know the drill#and then right after i was done iwas sent to my grandmothers and ive been doing stuff with her#so whenever i am online its like snrrk mimimimi ... i tried to draw yesterday but almost nothing came out right#but rest assured. i will get to work sooner or later.#i usually dont apologize for inactivity since a.) i have a life outside of social media and b.) i put my trust that you all#also understand that and wont start sending pitchforks and fire in my inbox#likewise i try not to publicly talk about my life in greatdetail but what harm could it hurt for you all to know i have an old dog.#ANYWAYS ENOUGHOF THAT#i will get back on that grind soon... even if its just sketches#just have to wait for that rest period to get over . i DESPERATELY need to work on my askblog.#i did not forget about it im just conflicted bc i want to use the new brush but the canvas is too small for it so im trying to find alts#...or else ill have to redraw the entire background . shudders. gets scared
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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the drawrings from the mesmerizer cover i just finished <3
but more importantly, i must now explain to you the hashtag situation i created for myself because of my foolish yet absolute refusal to colour it digitally:
SO doing animation on paper is fine. its normal, hell for me its easier than digital, i just use this shitty lil 15 dollar light panel and go to town you know? historically animation was done on paper and/or clear celluloid/acetate plastic sheets (thats why they're called cels after all) for decades and its still being done that way today.
but usually. nowadays. when animation is done on paper it is still coloured and shaded digitally. we are in the age of digipaint. and thats good. before digipaint we used stuff like poster paints or other flat, consistantly coloured paint and applied that on the under side of the clear acetate cels with the ink lines drawn or xerox'd over top.
but acetate sheets for animation are expensive and hard to source where i live. so. instead of something sensible like drawing all my lines and then digitally painting the final pieces. what i did was um. i still painted it with watercolour. so this was the situation:
faceless...........
i drew the main piece, and then on the same type of paper i used my lightbox to draw on new faces (to save paper i put them all over the paper, using things like quickly traced hair, etc to help line it all up later. for the paint i had to carefully try to match the skin tones around the facial features so when i digitally re-attached them they would match up........ hell of my own creation
i was chatting with my father about it, he doesnt know much about animation at all (his preferred art is b&w sketches and linework) so he didn't understand why i was complaining about the hell of my own creation so much as first. he was like "isnt watercolour what most animation was made with?" and i was like NOOO no no absolutely not <3 backgrounds, the final layer under all the sheets of clear acetate, sometimes may be done in something other than poster paint, gouache, acrylics, whatever paint they used to colour the cels: maybe something like oil or watercolour for stylistic purposes
but no one in their right mind would make even a simple barely moving PV with just watercolours <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
the bg was easy tho LOL took longer to dry than to paint :)
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#vocal synth#synthesizer v#synthv#genbu#utau#utauloid#gao#it probably wouldve been easier to do this method of like#creating all the pieces separating and constructing them later if i had planned things out better#but im gonna be honest i didnt know what the bg was gonna be until like a day ago when i painted it LOL#the rest had been done for weeks.... and i was like well. strip of vague sky colours. its gonna scroll across. done <3#also yeah lol i had trouble figuring out how to do the hypnotized eyes since scribbling in eyes black is my default state#so i did like. the opposite. scary lightless pupil visible eyes instead :)
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#oh lads. its not looking good for my genomics exam on Thursday. its all fucked#i dunno. its just been a weird day. bc one of my lab mates is getting ready to go to the astr0biology science conference#and its just so wild how i got here. into the perfect position. i have a great advisor. a great phd project. a committee member who is super#integrated with n4sa astr0biology projects. and so many of the instructors are amazing. my genomics prof is terrifyingly smart#so is my advisor and his wife. and the program is great. ecology and Evolution. its perfect. its all perfect#and yet. and yet. it just feels like its all falling apart. ive lost that compulsive thing thats always set in my chest#and now all i want to do is lay on the floor and cry and sleep and not do anything. why am i so tired?#its just so frustrating. and im sure ive got the most wretched vibes bc im constantly like 1 comment away from bursting into tears#like 2 weeks and its done. then im off to find a summer job. and find a long term job. and consider throwing away everything ive ever worked#toward. just let it all burn. im so tired. and i dont get to see my therapist until Monday. thats gonna b fun#hi. hello. since last i saw you my life has crumbled into pieces. ugh. i just dont wanna fail this genomics exam but it looks like that's#where we're headed. maybe i should have just dipped out of these last 3 weeks. but no. i didnt want to leave the lady i ta for 100 lab#reports to unexpectedly have to grade 4 days before grades are due. ugh. itll b fine. i mean it wont but whatever#unrelated
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day 14 was to draw a bg with worms eye/birds eye
#sparks creations#art#painting#30 day challenge#IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG#I WOULDVE BEEN DONE MUCH SOONER BUT SOMETHING CAME UP AND I WAS AWAY FROM BY LAPTOP FOR 3 HOURS#i am unbelieveably proud of this#trees are hard to render ;A; but if you use a lot of stippling and colorpicking and fiddling you can get it decent#this was actually fun :D#its technically the 15th since its midnight but SHHHHHHH#i was away and couldnt draw :(
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