#Idk i say this as if im able to afford going to any but it makes me sad cause i really love the experience i just refuse to enable this

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight

[piplupod]

ik im often the exception to the rule but man it made me go absolutely nuts when some lady tried to say "you don't hear young people saying they want to become farmers anymore! young people don't want to work hard!" (says the woman who grew up in a big city and has never worked on a farm) in the van on the way to a hiking trail with the centre. i could not keep my mouth shut because /i/ have wanted to become a farmer since i was four years old. i used to talk about becoming a pig farmer when i was 4-10 years old and every adult would laugh at me bc they thought it was so silly (and they'd try to tell me how evil and mean pigs are) and I was always upset and confused because I just loved pigs and I loved what I'd learned about farming and I wanted to work hard all day on a farm.

anyways i did actually look into the logistics of farming sheep (because my focus switched to sheep for wool lol) a couple years ago but it turns out it'd be crazy expensive to get into and then I got sick and now I've got wicked chronic fatigue so... RIP my lifelong dream of farming.

I told her about the sheep thing and she shut up about how young people are lazy lmao. I really hate when people try to lump an entire generation into one concept or idea or criticism or whatever. we are all different people from different walks of life and we all have different experiences and ideas. there is no universal truth to any generation other than "we were born in roughly the same span of years".

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

Spent the past 2 days giving myself a panic attack multiple times a day because I was sure I had COVID and was going to die because I was experiencing some mild cold/flu symptoms but also sometimes my chest hurt (sure I had been doing chest and ab exercising and overworking myself and also having panic attacks and pushing myself a bit too hard in working out and I have a history of asthma) but I was scared to take a test but I just took one and it’s negative and suddenly now my symptoms seem to have lessened

[tiercel]

Conventions are so much fun but in a post covid world im afraid i will never feel comfortable going to one again

[tr-mha-fan]

Im tired of seeing all these Takemichi haters, so here's a little something that might change your mind

Idk if I can get everything in my mind down here, but it's better than nothing

⚠️ MANGA SPOILER WARNING ⚠️

Hygiene

Everybody hates on Takemichi for his poor hygiene and dirty apartment in the future, but I don t think they understand the fact that he's depressed. Cleanliness doesn't matter to anybody who's depressed, to them, there's no point in life, they want to die, so why should they clean up anyway? Now, before you say, 'why TF was he depressed? He hadn't even started time traveling yet!' let me explain this to you. Takemichi was beat up and used as a slave most of his childhood by people he barely even knew, he ran away from home as soon as he graduated middle school, and started living in his own and working as much as he could to be able to afford a place to stay and some food. He watched his friends die in front of him, hell, Draken died in his arms!! Now, please don't tell me If you were in his place you wouldn't have gotten depressed.

2. Weak

Alright, this one really gets on my nerves. Everybody is always complaining about how Takemichi is so weak and he's a bad mc, these people obviously don't understand the point of the ENTIRE show. The literal theme (thanking ELA class rn) of TR is that 'You don't need muscles to be a hero'. Takemichi is supposed to be weak because he's not your regular, run of the mill Hero. He reminds everyone of Shinichiro because of his weakness and determination. You CANNOT hate on Takemitchy but not hate on Shin because their personalities are literally one and the same!! Now, ik this is gonna sound like some My Little Pony shit, but literally, Takemichi's 'strength' comes from his friends who are always there for him!

3. Stupidity

Alright, same as above, Takemitchy is supposed to be stupid, that's his point. I won't elaborate.

4. Character Development

Alright, this is the one that annoys me the most. You'd find that most of the people who hate on Michi for not getting enough character development are anime-only fans. I want you guys to understand the the anime is still ongoing. Takemitchy's MAIN development happens in the non-animated parts of the Manga. Please finish a series before judging, PLEASE. Not only that, but Takemitchy does get some development in the animated parts too! Going from somebody who doesn't want to live, to somebody who wants to save his girlfriend and stay alive for her is development! Going from an idiot who can't even stand up in front of opponents, to someone who can withstand a beating (from Taiju nonetheless!!) and throw a few punches is development! It's not much, it's not big, but it's still there!

5. Crybaby

Don't tell me if you were Takemichi, you wouldn't be a crybaby. He lived an awful life, and when he got the ability to relive and change it, he kept on seeing his girlfriend, bestfriend, and all his friends dying in front of him. You can't expect him to not become a crybaby because what he went through is TOO MUCH for any regular person! And its also part of his personality

6. Unloyal

Ok, I understand why some people hate him for this. Sure, he was in the karaoke with Emma, but that was past Michi and not future Michi, future Michi panicked and left as fast as he could. He didn't want to cheat on Hina!! And Senju, he didn't know she was a girl, he just went along thinking he'd just be some random gofer to this guy. The other time, at amusement park, he wanted to make sure she won't die after he saw that vision (I don't remember if he agreed to it before or after getting the vision, but you get it)

[vorenado-m]

happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!

the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.

my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.

ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:

there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.

my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.

for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)

i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.

i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.

i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.

my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.

the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.

i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.

if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok random thought. does anyone worry that we might get byler and a byler kiss or two and it might end up being… weird? weird in that we’ve watched these two actors grow up since being kids and yea we have shipped their characters but like actually seeing these grown now actors kissing after all these years after literally watching them growing up together might be different??? like awk or strange for some of us since most actors on shows we don’t grow up with them? idk if I am explaining it right lol. And like realistically I know finn and noah are good actors who have good chemistry and the show won’t let us down with the direction etc, but sometimes I am like… yea f/n have great chemistry and have been super cute over the years but it’s like there’s a block in my brain about how I might process them actually kissing as mike/will in the show? like i’m worried i might wait and be excited for byler to happen and then it happens and they kiss and I should be happy but instead im like….. oh. cause it feels weird to me or like what if god forbid the chemistry doesn’t lend itself to a good romantic kiss onscreen!!! I feel like I am overthinking lol but … does this make any sense lol

Have to be honest, I don’t really have this doubt! I fully believe Finn and Noah will deliver. I think the chemistry is so there, I think they want to do this, do this right. Here's one vision: imagine they're filming it, they've only blocked it so far in rehearsal, the first kiss is to really be the first kiss just to keep big moments for authentic filming. The first attempt is odd, they're kind of laughing a little as they go for it, angle was weird. Both end up just kinda laughing against each other's mouth before one pulls back fast. Tries to reset. Be serious. Then it happens again. After a few failed takes one of them asks to pause for a moment and they step away, a chat between the two actors. The closeness these two have from all these years, imagine one of them just talking soft like "Hey, hey. Slow down with me. We can do this." Finn really becomes Mike, with his gentle reassurances. Noah going serious, calm, looking up at him while he nods his head. They do another take. This is the one, or at least the first of the round of really good, authentic takes of the kiss. They flip a switch and they embody the characters. That initial take is the one the filmmakers go with, but they still do a few more. Just in case. Just one more. And one more. 😉

I don't see either of them complaining and saying "this is too weird" like the HP actors who probably took one awkward take and then said please just use it so we don't have to do that again haha. Maybe we do project other reasons onto F/N but it's not all that. They have actual chemistry on the show. We've seen it. So we'll be able to witness a kiss with actual chemistry as well. I very much trust them.

And I'm very firmly in the camp that I don't really put much personal stock in the "we watched them grow up" mindset as a detractors to make it weird. Because that's just it, they grew up. We're at a different place now. I don't look at every adult and think of them immediately as a kid, even if I'm familiar with them also younger. Irl and celebs. Just not how I view things because it's all a journey but watching the journey, here we are. I just don't think its fair to not afford the actors and the characters the full extend of the journey and life to say they'll always be those little kids we met in season one. Negates the story, the growth, the beauty of observing a fulfilled life, what they've worked towards. Its really nice we've gotten to observe and experience this with them.

[romainlettusdinnerparty]

I get so happy when more people see the car guy mike vision! I saw you said you love cars, so I'm curious do you have any thoughts about what you think mike being a car guy means for him/what he likes?

I know for me I love the headcanon but it came naturally from that leadership aspect of him, and I think it suits him to be a main driver amongst the party. plus I think he'd like the responsibility. and I go a bit more into this in a fic I'm working on, but I also like to think he enjoys fixing up his car and finds it a nice challenge/puzzle for his brain! but the actual technical or detailed parts of the headcanon I haven't researched and explored yet because I'm not well versed on cars myself 🙈

hiii omg thank you so much for asking me about this i am about to bombard you with so many thoughts brace yourself

ok im gonna be so fr when i say i love cars i mostly just mean i love driving,, i am not super well versed in the actual technical aspects of cars myself either😭 buttt i do absolutely have thoughts about mike and driving and super agree with what you said especially about leadership and responsibility. i think mike Needs to be the one everyone turns to drive them places like he wants that to be his Thing (also him needing to be needed popping up there👀),, now max has also obv expressed interest in that but with her ending up disabled she might be less able to do that especially with the accommodations available at the time and even if she could drive it would be a longer process so i like to imagine mike kinda teaches her the ways of the road and they bond, and similar to how he doesn’t walk on eggshells with will he treats max so normal (hostile lmao) which is probably super refreshing for her with being disabled!! orrr that dynamic could even be reversed like if max is unable to drive but she so Wants to be that for the party, she kinda teaches mike that as a way to live vicariously through him? idk i just love max’s thing with cars and mike is such a car guy its insane. I think its also safe to say he’s very precious about his car like not a single crumb of food will get on his seats if he has anything to say about it. this obviously does not apply to will who can do absolutely no wrong but,, because will can see how much mike cares about his car he helps enforce his little rules with the rest of the party when they don’t take them seriously and mike gets lowkey upset with them about it. i love the idea that mike is the first to get his license so he’s kinda designated driver by default for a little while and ends up spending a ton of one on one time with everyone because of that. one of those people obviously being will, and i think between joyce working so much and jonathan going off to college and them definitely not being able to afford another car (and like love too),, will ends up abusing that aspect the most even before they get together. and while will is doing this cuz he’s like in love and stuff and it makes mike feel all useful, mike does get insecure that will isn’t actually spending time with him cuz he wants to and its just to use him to get around, and then when other people start getting their licenses hes like oh i guess the end of an era will doesn’t Have to just drive with me anymore he won’t need me :( but then obviously he Does and they kiss about it or something

and on the note of the fixing cars and stuff i sooo agree he likes learning new things and being able to fix his car and fix everyone else’s cars. like even after he’s the only one with a license he’s found this other thing to be useful to everyone with. omg also there was this post i saw forever ago about mike fixing up his car while will sits on the hood with his legs crossed drinking a milkshake and the image has fr never left my mind its quintessential passenger princess will and car guy mike to meee. i feel like mike would know so much about cars that it would make him distinctly not cool like he is such a nerd about something that would be considered cool that it circles back around and makes him sooo lame. i do think will would not think its lame tho and it does in fact turn him on when mike talks about his car. maybe mike refers to his car as a “she” and has a name for it and everything and will gets lowkey jealous and has to have car sex with him about it idk 😭

anywho!! thank you sm for asking me about this even though i probably know the exact same amount as you do about cars lmao,, actually so fucking hyped for your fic tho ahhh i love your writing <333

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

hi, im a trans teen

i really like mechanical engineering but is willing to give it up if it means i can transition and live as a guy so i wanted to ask could you like explain what is the best trans friendly place to live which is affordable which also has trans friendly jobs with good pay. i want to start planning ahead that's why and im aware of how being queer in the stem field has its disadvantage but i wanted to ask if theres a way where i can transition and hide it while working in stem, i don't mind hiding im transgender, i just wanna live happy since i wasted my childhood and teenage years away by being emo lol.

autumn says:

idk if you will see this anon because this is a post from awhile ago but you can absolutely be trans in stem. You absolutely do not need to give up your passion for mechanical engineering to exist, thrive and live as a guy.

I'm a chemist currently in a PhD program and I'm extremely out, extremely proud and loving every second of being trans, even in stem. I'm not going to lie to you and say that its always been easy because there are some assholes, but there are more good people than bad people where I'm at.

The biggest thing about finding a place that is accepting (and I'm thinking you're probably fixing to go to college), is to go to places that have track records being good with queer shit. I went to an undergraduate school that had a very active queer community and a large stem presence. While there weren't a lot of queers in my stem classes (there were some and we definitely found each other), I was able to supplement my stem classes with queer classes and queer people. Look for schools/workplaces that have a community in place, and/or (if you are in the US) find a chapter of NOGLSTP or Out in Stem or any other queer stem societies. With a meche degree you can get a good paying job pretty much anywhere, or go to graduate school to get a masters/phd and get a job from there.

You got this anon. There needs to be more queers in meche!!!

[not-alien-girl-v]

Hi honey! Hope you're doing alright! Could you write James March and Kit through the love languages? Love your writing!! 🥰

warning: language, mentions of sex, unconsensual touching (it doesn't happen but there is a mention of it saying its something he doesn't do) idk i just feel the need to warn about it

note: sorry this request is from october of last year i totally forgot about it cuz i hadn't watched asylum but then i found this request since i watched it and decided to give it a try. recently my life has been blegh. being homeschooled sucks im lonely anyways dm me to be friends i love having friends making friends everything yeah

Kit

words of affirmation: absolutely one of his love languages. pardon me for getting lewd quickly but i definitely think he's into praise like big time. he loves to tell you how good you're doing, how pretty you are, how proud he is of you, and of course it's not always when you're fucking i think in all aspects of life with kit by your side, he will be giving you any and every type of praise because he believes it's the most straight forward way to show his affection, especially since he's often busy and he doesn't have a lot of money.

quality time: quality time as a love language might be a little difficult with kit, he works a lot, and if you are a girlboss, you probably work a lot too, there's no guarantee your schedules will line up with each other which is what makes the rare quiet moments you spend with each other all the more special and cherished. it's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you, he would if he could. but he definitely tries. any moment he can get, he'll take you to dinner, to breakfast, out on silly little dates that may seem a little stupid in retrospect but its the thought that counts.

receiving gifts: bro is broke. bro works so hard to be able to afford a roof over both of your heads and food on the table and that's about the furthest his money can go without getting tight. so he tries to make it work how he can, he'll buy you little trinkets or little snacks while he's out, but for the most part, he'd mostly just give you found presents, like a pretty rock he found outside that made him think of you or something like that. again, its the thought that counts.

acts of service: now hear me out on this one so this may fall into the touch category but i feel like he'd be really into massages both giving and receiving but mostly giving. again, it's a very straight forward way of showing love and affection and it doesn't cost him anything he can't afford to give you. it's an act of service at it's finest, but i also think he'd love to eat you out too, if you're into that kind of thing. he doesn't have any facial hair but if he did, you know that shit would be red, because bro is a munch.

touch: keep the whole massages thing in mind, he loves that as a form of touch, but in general, he's not too into being all touchy feely, however, he does have a thing about touching at night when you're both sleeping, even if it's just an arm slung over your waist or his finger lightly grazing your arm, he mostly does it as confirmation that you're safe and sleeping next to him, he's always a bit paranoid. it's not necessarily a touching thing, as once again, he's not that big on it, but he'd still graciously accept a long hug whenever you're feeling like it or quick pecks on the cheek in passing.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

James

words of affirmation: i feel like it's just a known fact that james loves giving and receiving compliments. he absolutely adores it anytime you speak up and let him know how handsome he looks on one day in particular, though he already knows he always looks good, he still appreciates that it's you who said it to him. but when it comes to the things he says to you, he likes to come up with the most out of pocket inappropriate things to say to you at inappropriate times just because he can, just to see a soft blush form on your cheeks, it's a sight he never gets tired of seeing in his eternal existence.

quality time: time is something that james, as a ghost, has an endless supply of, so it's no wonder he chooses to dedicate it mostly to you. first of all, you're the love of his life, and second of all, what else is he going to do? leave you, a beautiful woman, alone in a hotel full of horny ghosts? he thinks not. sometimes he can get on your nerves, not even allowing you to go for a stroll around the hotel without him insisting to be by your side for it. he's very clingy, though he'd never admit it, and it would piss him off so much if you said it to him. with this, he's also very protective, borderline possessive, and jealous over you. he believes that you belong to him and him only and any moment spend apart is a violation of that. it's something you'll have to work on with him.

receiving gifts: dude's got money. he'd give it all to you if he could, and he absolutely would if you'd let him, but every time he tries to directly give you his money, you turn him down (see personally i would never #ghostsugardaddy but that's beside the point), so he instead chooses to buy you things. lots of things. expensive things. ridiculously expensive things. so much so that he simply will not tell you the cost of an item until after you've accepted it. i'm thinking jewelry, clothes, not much makeup but mostly lipstick in dark reds because it drives him crazy to see you wearing it, books, records, whatever luxury he can think of.

acts of service: bless this man but he has never had to do this type of shit for himself, acts of service and whatever, his idea of an act of service is to get miss evers to do it for you, whatever it is, which when you think about it, is an act of service, because he does take care of you, just not firsthand. but he absolutely makes you cum first in bed, via whatever you choose, and he is a fan of aftercare, even sometimes when it isn't really necessary, he still enjoys drawing a bath for the two of you to soak and relax in for a long while.

touch: he's a serial killer so he's definitely got a think for creepy skin caressing, except when it's james, it's not creepy, it's loving and adoring. sometimes you'll be awake for it, sometimes you won't, but it's not in a weird rapey way, like he'd never go any further without your waking consent, but he simply likes the feeling of your soft skin under his strong hands, loves to see the goosebumps raise in trails his fingers leave, and he's not huge on cuddling or traditional forms of touch like that, he'll give you a hug if you're crying, but he'd much rather talk your problems through, figure out quickest ways to fix them rather than wallow in sadness together. he's also often very out and about, so it's difficult to catch him in a morning cuddle session because he's usually up and out of bed before you're even awake, but every now and then you happen to wake a few hours earlier, and you make sure to take absolute advantage of him with his guard down, asleep, and cuddle up to his side. he'll usually just sigh, squeeze an arm around you and accept his fate.

[weirdmageddon]

If you know / have thought about it already, what's your god tier aspect for SBURB? If you dont, what would you say it'd be?

ive taken multiple tests over the years and never really found one that stuck. i think the one that i sort of solidified in the past was mage of space since i bought a space blanket and keychain. i got space when i did that official quiz for the first time but i’d like to take it again now. i feel both drawn to light and space now that i think about it as aspects. if i was light idk what class i’d be though. i relate to seer though, “one who knows aspect or knows through aspect”; the aspect’s analytic mouthpiece

i feel like im like the spitting image of the official light description

“Those bound to the aspect of Light are the universe's knowledge-seekers. They are, above all, driven to learn and understand. They are great alchemists, able to take multiple sources of information and synthesize them into something useful. They are scholars and researchers, absolutely dedicated to knowledge for knowledge's sake. They are the ultimate students, and although that might conjure up the image of people sitting around peacefully waiting for knowledge to be brought to them, that couldn't be further from the truth. The Light-bound will go after knowledge with a fierce intensity that others may find distasteful. They aren't overly concerned with laws or norms, either. They often take rules as simple suggestions, instead searching for loopholes or work-arounds. At their best, the Light-bound are resourceful and driven. At their worst they can be fussy, pedantic, and insensitive.”

but the non-canon descriptions of the aspects themselves i find myself drawn to light and space. not fully; i cant see myself fully in any of the aspects but these come pretty close.

“Light deals in exploration, knowledge, luck and relevance. It is the electron-microscope prying secrets from any crevice it can find just as much as it is the spotlight drawing attention to that which cannot physically be ignored. The path of this Aspect is well lit and certain. “Luck” here is the state of being consistently lucky or consistently unlucky. Light introduces certainty even in the places where chance should govern. When led astray the hunger for knowledge or relevance can quickly turn to unhealthy obsession. The idea that everything is meaningful, everything makes sense, can lead to crisis when the Light-bound finds no satisfying explanation behind their symbols. They may be entirely unable to deal with uncertainties, or the hunger for significance in the limelight might burn out their pupils. Curiosity may kill them like many a cat, or watering eyes which cannot close for even a second become their constant curse. At best though the light is a source of answers and a path towards genuine meaning.

Space is breadth, diversity, creation and creativity, birth, motherhood and preservation, but also loneliness and isolation amidst the vast cosmos. It can go anywhere because it already is everywhere, and there is a tendency to get distracted or sidetracked by the sheer number of options at its disposal, but the journey is usually more important than the goal to them anyway. The canvas is literally endless; go ahead and draw something. Space has a penchant for lateral moves, for the random and unexpected, all the fascinating points of interest which dot its habitual all-the-way-zoomed-out bird’s eye perspective. At their worst, the Space-bound are unfocused and ineffectual, abandoning projects as soon as the next thing catches their eye. Their often strange or hyper-specific interests can make it difficult for them to relate to people, only deepening the Space-bound’s characteristic isolation. At best though, the wide focus which their Aspect affords leads them to become brilliant multitaskers and masters of navigating the outside of the metaphorical box.

(https://ouroborista.neocities.org/articles/Treatise_on_Classpecting.pdf)

i think the top 3 aspects (from most to least) for me are

light

space

mind

edit: just realized i was ordering their relevance fuck. this is an extremely important revelation to me because im baked rn. is that lightcore of me did i just prove it

[bittertarot]

you are so cool and non judgemental to chat with, so thanks very much once again! yeah I think the whole hysteria abojt idols fs in away its intruiging from a non obsessive point of view but for those who do obsess about idols fs are going to be in for a shock whenber idols are revealed to be dating and shock horror, its not themselves.

honestly I regret not really going for it and learning a genuine skill that I could then use later on but sometimes its just matter of having opportunities or being in the right situations to actually gain those skills, for example you could go to a really shitty school and learn something amazing or you can go to a better school but have shitty classmates or teachers that are of no real use to you or courses that arent available and so on and so forth, whilst idols have to go through a lot I do think what they get to do is super cool cause when they pass on they have a legacy to be proud of. Sadly I think it just comes down to them being in the right areas or theyre from the right families who can invest so much into idols gaining their skills and talents. I have yet to really see someone from my country denut in kpop group sooooo it kind of says a lot of where kpop is heading and that they were going to smerica come what may. its just sometimes our situations are very limiting and we cant always win at everything in life either or say you might want to do something but realistically you know its slim to none chances and i think at some point it has an age limit of when you can succeed at it. So even if i wanted to do what i originslly wanted it would take many more years just to get to a good skill and even then you might not be the best at it

I also think sometimes social media makes things neither great nor bad cause people can upload their skills and really empahsis on what they want nowadahs whereas when I was a kid we were doing fuck all with our free time yaknow? kids nowadays shouldnt waste their younger years is what im saying. sometimes i think that i dont fit in with my generation cause of how screen obsessed we all have become and then i dont fit in with newer generations cause they have so many more ways of making success for themselves, im just like what can i offer? honestly not much.

thats also why i lowkey wouldnt mind passing on early just to get out of this screen world that we are in and yet older generations were never bothered with taking selfies then they wouldnt habe been able to get social validation via online, so they were probs happier and things were at least affordable back then. i kinda envy the older generations in that respect, we only got to experience a small handful of years without the pressures of social media and ever since idfk 00s or earlier it kinda went to shit really.

everyone was expected to be online and idk how i really feel about it anymore im sort of over it and modern society generally sucks. so many idols get backlash for no good reason, youtubers who dont do anything wrong get gossiped about and snark pages are endless so even if someone wants to do something amazing with their lives they cant avoid scrutiny of any sorts. its just got way out of hand and its past the point of saying well just dont use it then cause we technically need these devices constantly so ergo its not hard to not be delulu about celebs and the likes either cause its literally everywhere.

Sorry for the late response, been caught up in some important stuff recently (it's not bad stuff LMAO)!! Anyways, thank you so much! I try my best to remain open-minded of any/all perspectives before forming an opinion of my own and even so, I'm very open to hearing others opinions on these matters. Debating issues is something I genuinely enjoy, as long as it is a polite and healthy debate ofc. It is quite interesting, I'd say it has something to do with the "loneliness epidemic" (as I like to call it) of these times. We're in a time where technology is increasing rapidly and human interaction isn't as common, we're more attached to our screens than actual people and that becomes an issue when it places you out of touch with reality! The obsessions over being an FS and whatnot is genuinely awful, like fans hating on idols and their relationships have led to some couples even splitting; look at Lee Jae Wook and Karina from Aespa as our most recent example. It's never too late to try, really. You can learn any skill no matter your age as long as you can put enough effort in, remain disciplined and dedicate time to it! I think your point there is quite valid, but since technology has advanced so rapidly, you can realistically learn most skills online now by a few quick google searches, taking notes, learning and applying them practically. I think it is quite cool how idols have a legacy that'll be remembered for a while. It's something I'd want to achieve before passing on, as even though making an impact, being remembered, etc isn't a neccessity it does in a way lessen the anxiety about passing on? It makes you feel like there is a chance that people will still mention you, bring you up, that what you did could be studied or researched by other people, that your story could motivate others into getting their shit together, etc. A lot of idols aren't in the right areas or families, though. I'll use BTS as an example here; some members had extremely poor families and were from a run-down agency that could never compete with the big 3. Look at where they are now? They single-handedly built up their label, going from Bighit to HYBE. Practice makes perfect, the more you practice, the more work you put in, the better you will get at that skill! Obviously, blind optimism isn't helpful but if you take the realistic steps in place to where you want to be in the next few years now; it will happen and you will succeed. I completely agree that we, as a society, have all become too screen obsessed and I'm also guilty of this, but it is an issue. It's caused a lot of parents to just let the screen teach their kids, too. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to the world, even if you might not think so. You can do it, though! I believe in you and I'm proud of what you have done so far :] !! I had a discussion with a friend about a similar topic to this, but a lot of trends now are fueled by "nostalgia" where things looked happier and less daunting to live in. I think after 2015 is when things started to spiral, but that's my personal take. You're more than free to disagree with anything I've said!! I don't think you should force yourself to be online, stick to the trends, etc. Do what makes you happy and you'll see yourself shine brilliantly! And yeah, a lot of delusional ideals are fueled by big companies nowadays, too, since fans will obviously put more money into those celebs if they feel like they might get "noticed" - which could also be why concert tickets are getting higher and higher even for newly debuted groups. That's my take on all this, though, feel free to respond and add on, agree, disagree, etc! <33

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, reg kin anon back already haha

(again, cw/tw for medical stuff and complicated family dynamics)

firstly, thank you for your supportive and kind words, they really do mean a lot to me (and everyone else you help; youre genuinely such a wonderful person and deserve everything good in life ♡)

i think ive come to the conclusion that i havent really processed the whole situation yet, honestly. even though i wrote it to you, i havent actually said the words out loud about my mother's diagnosis (and honestly writing them out again is a struggle haha, like my fingers are blocked from doing it), and it kind of feels like saying it makes it real? does that make sense? i dunno. it feels so impossible to imagine my mother being genuinely sick with something so serious. 'my mother' and 'cancer' dont fit in the same sentence.

but i didnt really realise until now just how major of a major life event this is for everyone and everything. because (and remember, i have a very complicated relationship with my mother. i once defined it as 'i dont have to like you to love you' and i think thats really relevant to now, too) my mother was going to help me with moving out (both buying things ill need, as well as actually moving out on the day) but she told me yesterday that ill have to go out to get things myself because she physically cant right now. i didnt think id mind so much, i like having my own independance and doing things myself, but i went out today to buy everything i need and i was struggling so much more than i thought. i genuinely almost had a breakdown crying in the first shop i went to.

honestly part of that was because i had no idea what i needed or where was best to get it or what any of the fancy words about different types of stuff meant (like, who even knows what depth their mattress is to buy the right bedsheet?? what is a tog??? whats the difference between a bath sheet and a bath towel?? they look the same!) but also because that was something we were supposed to do together. i dont like her and theres so much about her i want to change, but theres a huge part of me that was looking forward to a parent/child experience that so many normal families have, especially because i didnt get a lot of other typical 'growing up' moments with my parents due to how my family is.

part of me, in all honesty, considered waiting to move out, partly so that she could still be part of it, and partly so that i was in a better place emotionally to be able to handle the change. but if i were to do that, id have to wait another year (im moving out to go to university, and i already put it off last year to get a job instead because i was scared and anxious about university) and i dont know that i could go a whole extra year stuck at home. theoretically, i could afford to move out and rent (or buy, if i went to one of the cheap areas) when i felt ready in however many months time, but itd be a huge drain on my savings and would be nowhere near where ill be for school the following year so itd be a waste of money and time. itd be stupid and silly for me to put off university for another year, but i did consider it. i wont, but part of me is scared and wants to.

i met up with my older brother for lunch while i was out (who, sticking with the black family dynamics, is kind of like the andromeda of my family. he moved out 5 years ago to break away from the family and rarely comes home, and is probably the one person in my life who i feel genuinely comfortable and safe around) and we talked about it which was nice, especially considering my family is typically very much a 'do not talk about your feelings at all' sort of family, and as a whole we have not discussed anything further about my mother's health or how we're all handling it since that first conversation. he was super gentle and caring and honestly that in itself made me want to cry a bit because hes just so not at all like our parents?? idk who raised him but i wish theyd raised me too hahaha

but anyway, he was really open and supporting with me. he talked a bit about how he was feeling (which was super validating, because he was also hit hard by it and had complex feelings about it all) and he was really clear too that if i needed anything at all, i could always go to him and would always be welcome at his flat if i needed time away, even when i move out. (seriously, who raised this perfect older brother????) basically he was everything i needed in that moment and i am really genuinely thankful he exists, so at least my parents made one decent thing haha

still, though. i think its starting to hit me now just how many things are going to change and, as selfish as it is, how many things im going to lose and miss out on because of it. i dont like my mother, but i want her there to help me take that next step in my adult life, yknow? she, nor my father, have explicitly said she wont be able to help on moving day, but its not likely, and theres no way on earth i could ever ask whether she will (again: selfish thinking.)

my brother did mention, though, that the type of cancer our mother has is apparently one of the worse types if it isnt caught early enough. as far as i understand it (which isnt much, honestly, i dont understand much with medicine), she has cancer in her abdomen and its usually caught too late to get rid of. i didnt know this until today, i think our father didnt want to worry me? but i dont actually know how far along the cancer is (which stage it is? i think thats the right term) and i dont know at what stage it becomes too late. my brother also didnt seem to know, but now thats put a new worry in my head because my father explicitly did not mention that to me, so of course my brain has jumped to conclusions about why and what that means. im trying not to spiral, but ever since i found out about her diagnosis, i dont actually think ive gone ten minutes without 'fuck, my mother has cancer' or something similar going through my head, and restarting the breakdown id just pushed down again.

as expected, my sister was already making inappropriate jokes about it by the next time i saw her. i spoke to my brother about this too (hes cut contact with her entirely, like i plan to) and that was part of why he offered to let me stay with him if i ever needed; to escape our sister as much as our mother. i dont understand how she doesnt care a single bit. i know shes never got along with our parents but like, at least have a little decency and sensitivity?? she was literally laughing about it and i just... i dont get how someone could be such an awful person. sure whatever, she doesnt have to be upset if she really doesnt care, but thats crossing a fucking line.

this is getting to be another long ask so im gonna stop here for now, but before i do i just want to say thank you again for being such a safe place for myself and others. you are so, so wonderful cas ♡

- reg kin anon

Hi hon ❤️❤️❤️

I know there’s not a lot I can say right now to make you feel better because unfortunately I don’t know the future. I don’t know how this will turn out and neither do you. But I want to say again that your feelings - all of them - are okay and valid and none of them are bad or shameful. It’s okay to mourn the things that you might miss and it’s okay to have mixed emotions. No feelings are right or wrong here, and I’m here when you need to vent. Also I know move in Day will be hard but I’m so proud of you for continuing to prepare for university.

Sending so much love ❤️

[sand-lily]

I JUST GOT MY CoE!!!

(like just now now)

they still didn't tell me when my training date is, where my hotel is, when i can check in to the hotel, or APPARENTLY how long I'll be staying

(my contract says 1 year, but the CoE says 3years,, so idk what to put on the application , if they dont answer by Friday I'll just put 3years, then i wont get in trouble if i do renew the contract but it wont be an issue if i only stay 1 year)

im NOT buying another hotel if i can help it, SO i do wanna know when i can check into the training hotel so i can buy my plane ticket for that day and put that as the arrival date on the application, according to maps and reddit the shinkansen is only a few hours to the city i need to be in from the airport, so im taking that instead of doing a layover in japan,,

so i need to know WHEN i can check in so i can do the math to know WHAT flight to take, and since im technically losing a day across time zones, thats going to be hard for me since normal time math is ALREADY hard for me

i already have the passport photos, i already have the envelopes, i already made the shipping labels (just gotta print them), i already signed the disclaimer (gotta print), I already filled out the application minus those 2 things im not sure about (and gotta print),,

so my plan is to go to the library and print all the stuff at once, and sign it at the library, then go from there to the post office to drop it off, and then from there back home (shit has to be planned when you don't have a car and public transit only comes once every 2hrs)

the CoE is valid for 3 months from tonight, so im HOPING they want me there the last week of june or mid july so i can pack up my apartment, call my bank, get an esim card for my phone company (this is the only phone number I had my WHOLE LIFE and I don't wanna lose it so i MIGHT pay for international data to keep it), take care of my pets, break my lease unfortunately, get a transit card (apparently you can buy them online BEFORE going to Japan and have it shipped to you),

and quit my new job i JUST started last week unfortunately,, ive only done training so i dont even think i can put it on my resume, HOWEVER, i did pass CPR + baby CPR so i can put that on my resume if they have the certificate on file (idk if they filed it yet)...but if i have another month, I'll be able to have childcare IN A SCHOOL experience (asst teaching)

ig i WONT be able to save up to pay off my credit card, or get my hair braided, and i WONT be able to afford business class like i wanted,, i just hope i get a window seat, i WILL NOT sit in the middle if i can avoid it, i also dont want an isle seat just in case i sit next to somebody who doesn't speak English and they feel nervous about asking me to move so they can use the toilet... i really dont wanna talk to ppl like that

i also also need to look for headphones with a type c connector, because i heard those exist,, my Bluetooth headphones dont work very well on airplanes and i MISS wired headphones severely (i WILL NOT take them out of the box until im at the airport tho, i WILL NOT risk losing them before the flight, as i tend to do)

i also also also need to go through my music library and delete the songs i always skip and add in the new ones ive been playing on repeat via YouTube, im NOT paying for plane wifi , i also x3 need to figure out how to download Libby books like PDFs since i cant use libby outside of America and i want to keep reading books on the flight

ig im un-makeovering my apt tomorrow, time to put doors back on hinges and remove contact paper and fill in nail holes and everything,, it took me like 3days to do everything up and i did it with a butter knife instead of a screwdriver, so it should take less time to undo it with my new electric screwdriver ,, i think my sister is going to try and steal my bedframe, shes already laid dibs on the couch

they BETTER NOT charge me ANY fees considering i paid a TRIPLE deposit to move in here without a cosigner and thats the whole point of a deposit

anyways i got a lot to do tomorrow, so i gotta go to bed at a REASONABLE HOUR, NOT 2AM

and if anybody wants to help me pay off my $1400 credit card bill (ive been using it to pay rent and buy groceries since nobody wants to hire me, unemployment is only enough to pay the minimum + my phone bill so i dont get late fees)

here are my PayPal and cashapp,, im not good at art AT ALL, but if yall want commissions for something so that i can earn the money (i can only do traditional art), I'll do that too,, or i can proofread something? creative writing is actually my forte believe it or not

anyways

cashapp: https://cash.app/$firellily

(the pfp is a pic of my cat)

[fairielux]

idk where else to say this so,,,

ts eras tour has meant to be my most anticipated concerts of this year, yet every time i think abt it, it fills me with dread, stress and sadness.

with everything thats going on in the world, what blondie has done since the eu tickets have gone on sale, it just feels wrong?

and lets not even mention the setlist change and the dumpsterfire ttpd is (but this is just the cherry on top tbh)

i know im extremely lucky to be able to afford this, i also know there are thousands who would love to take my place.

yeah well... any chance anyone can relate?

[cordyceptic]

my mom calls me every few hours to talk to me about her cat and i am just as worried as she is but im sick with anxiety every time she calls. he has eaten a little bit since her initial breakdown about it and he has been able to rest a little. she says his abdomen is hard and he hasnt gone to the bathroom yet other than to pee and that he keeps trying to lay in his litterbox. He has enough energy to walk around and jump off the bed but he keeps wanting to go in a dark room to hide. I am hoping after all of this he is just very constipated but I also worry that it might be kidney disease. My mom is convinced he is looking for a place to pass away. idk though, I am so stressed. this is all I can afford to think about this week because she has been calling so often and I'm afraid of not being able to help her out with any of this