#If Shane had just been *alive* for all this shit? My God can you imagine the chaos they would've caused

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

All the "Rick became worse than Shane" this and "Negan was actually the good guy" that-

Y'all forget that Shane SA'd Lori and was willing to kill his best friend to keep her, not even giving a shit how she feels. Rick would never. And he would never burn his own people's faces off for being 'disobedient'. He was a total dictator at times but to a group who actually love and care about eachother. A family who aren't glorified bandits thinking they're entitled to everybody's stuff and would kill you if you didn't give it. Dude was very trigger-happy for a while there, but he brought it back. There's a lot of similarites between Rick, Negan and Shane but the differences are key. Can y'all stop tryna be so transcendent?

[rrickgrrimes8]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard. 

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment. 

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him. 

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum. 

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears. 

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.” 

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body. 

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?” 

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!” 

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.” 

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled. 

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.” 

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.” 

���I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had. 

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting. 

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck. 

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you." 

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen." 

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?" 

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began. 

"How was it?" She inquired. 

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed. 

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled. 

"Why two kisses, y/n?" 

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead. 

"Its home bubs with an e on the end." 

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again. 

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van. 

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here. 

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too. 

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug. 

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada." 

"I love you too, baby girl."

~

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect. 

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father. 

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers. 

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help." 

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you." 

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps. 

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head. 

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group. 

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs. 

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me." 

"I promise, dada." 

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird. 

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it. 

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone. 

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical. 

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for. 

Glenn was next. 

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her. 

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt. 

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma. 

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her. 

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead. 

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it. 

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth. 

"I-i can't," She sobbed. 

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop. 

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them. 

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump." 

"I love you, Daryl." 

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes. 

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well." 

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground. 

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame. 

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father. 

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan. 

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories. 

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick. 

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her. 

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."

[toads-treasures]

Sea change for the micro fic prompt, with Sam?

Thank you so much for the ask! Not sure if I quite stuck to the prompt and this did not end up being ‘micro’ by any stretch of the imagination 😅

Sea Change

1,028 words

Female Farmer (Beatrice) x Sam

“Do you even know anything about chickens?”

Sam’s voice was low over the phone, tinny and distant, but Bea could picture him so clearly she might as well have been standing across from him in Jodi's bright, lemon scented kitchen. He’d be leaning against the wood paneled wall, long guitarist fingers tangled in the phone cord, with that easy smile lifting the corners of his mouth. She wished suddenly she was there, instead of standing and shivering in the drafty kitchen of the farmhouse, cradling a shoebox full of live chicks in her arms. She could feel the shifting, fluttering contents, hear their tiny talons scratching at the cardboard as they skittered from one end of the box to the other. It was so strange to be holding something so small and so alive in something as innocuous as a shoebox. It made her almost dizzy, a strange weighty feeling settling at the base of her sternum. “No,” she said, looking down at the box. She could see flashes of movement through the holes in the top. “which is why I need you to tell me that I didn’t just make a huge mistake,”

“I don’t think you made a mistake,” he said, “Shane takes care of chickens, and he can barely take care of himself.”

“Ouch,” she muttered, lips lifting in a wry smile.

“You know it’s true. Can I come see them?”

“See what?”

“The chickens! I wanna come hold one!”

“Oh my God,” said Bea, her voice something between a laugh and an exasperated sigh, “Sam, you’ve lived in Stardew Valley for like, eight years. You have to have held a baby chick before.”

“Yeah,” he said, and it would have sounded defensive if she couldn’t practically hear the goofy grin on his face, “but these are your chicks. I gotta see the city girl turn country with my own eyes.”

“Oh piss off,” she said, but she was smiling and she knew that Sam knew it.

“I’ll be over in ten,” he said cheerfully, “try not to step on one before I get there,”

“Jesus Christ,”

But Sam had already hung up. She shook her head, holding the box closer to her chest to keep both of them warm.

“They’re so tiny,” Sam crouched next to the empty feeding trough Bea had set up as a temporary coop on the covered back porch. All four chicks were huddled beneath the glow of the heat lamp Marnie had lent her, their impossibly tiny heads resting on one another. She couldn’t tell if they really were cold, or if they were staunchly ignoring her because of their incarceration in the shoe box. She’d been staring at them for so long, trying to fathom how anything so small could truly be alive, that a dull ache was forming at the base of her skull. How tiny would their little hearts be? She looked over her shoulder to double check that the front door was shut tight and she saw Ashes, perched in the window and looking very indignant at being left out of whatever was going on outside. She didn’t think he’d eat the chicks, but she didn’t want to take any chances. He meowed plaintively, and Sam cooed at him through the window, smiling as Ashes butted his head against the glass.

“Are you gonna name them?” He asked, turning to face her.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to tell them all apart,” she said, kneeling next to him and resting her folded arms on the lip of the trough. She wrinkled her nose at the already musty smell of their grain mingling with their shit.

“Can I name them?” Asked Sam, looking up from the chicks with a grin. The light from the heat lamp bathed his face in crimson, and would have been almost ghoulish had it been anyone else.

“Sure,” she said with a laugh and Sam immediately pointed at the smallest yellow one,

“That’s Ringo,” he said, “And that one is Lennon,” he pointed to a larger dusty brown one, and the last two black ones “Mccartney and Harrison,” he finished with a triumphant smile.

“They’re all hens,” protested Bea but she was smiling too.

“So?” Said Sam, plunging his hand into the bag of grain slumped next to him. Bea watched as he lowered his hand, now covered in a fine layer of grain, down into the box. The chicks regarded it warily, before one of the darker ones (possibly Mccartney) darted forward and started pecking the granules off his fingers. He laughed, which sent the chick scrambling away again, peeping wildly.

“You should try it,” he said, “it kinda tickles.”

Before she could protest or acquiesce, Sam grabbed her wrist, pouring the rest of his grain from his own palm into hers. The tops of his hands were dusted with freckles, and she could feel the calluses on his fingertips as he curled her fingers over the grain already slipping through her fingers. That strange dizzy feeling suddenly returned in full force and she looked away, trying to keep her expression neutral. Had he ever touched her before? She was trying to remember, quickly flipping through memories like records at a thrift store. All the nights playing pool at the saloon, helping him with lyrics, both of them huddled over a plate of forgotten fries, chasing after Vince at the beach. He’d definitely touched her before, arm draped over her shoulders as they staggered out of the saloon piss drunk and laughing, bumping fists over the shitty arcade games he was obsessed with. So why did this motion, his long fingers curled lightly around hers, suddenly feel like she'd missed a step going down the stairs. Like she’d just stepped into a boat, the floor beneath her uncertain and shifting.

“They don’t bite,” he said, and he was grinning again, or maybe he’d never stopped. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat.

“I might,” she said, and she wasn’t sure why she said it, or if she’d even spoken aloud. But Sam laughed, and then she knew that really had been the outcome she was hoping for.

[collecting-stories]

Shane - ep. 12 - Georgia

Summary: Shane hassles you in the diner and you let slip to Daryl that you want to date him. 

A/N: Can’t believe we’re moving this far into it. 

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

You almost audibly groaned when Shane walked into the diner on Monday night. Daryl has been gone all weekend and you were quickly realizing that driving yourself around just wasn’t the same. You weren’t too proud to admit that you missed him, more than someone should miss an ‘in between’ friend as Tara had called him.  

“You know, in between a friend and a boyfriend.” She had explained after coining the term.  

“I get it.”

You were sure your mom was happy, as happy as she could be with you, because you’d been essentially only at the diner and at home all weekend. You’d even been on time for church on Sunday morning, an occurrence that was lacking lately. It wasn’t only Daryl’s absence that had you falling back into that place so close to the daughter that your mother wanted. The one who was perfect enough to fix all the problems she had. Deanna had told your mom, just like Aiden said she would. She’d called her on Friday morning to tell her that she��d noticed you driving with Daryl in his truck.  

“When was this?” Your mother had asked, holding her hand up for you to stop as you were preparing to walk out the door for school.  

“I’m gonna be late.” You stressed.  

She put her hand over the receiver and looked you dead in the eye, “move out that door and I swear to god you will not go out again for a week. School be damned.”

You waited, stood there anxiously by the front door as she cast you glancing and nodded her head and ‘mmhmm’d’ at the appropriate places. Your dad was supposed to be coming home soon from the halfway house he was living in and you’d thought maybe she was talking to him but then she hung up and turned to face you.  

“You wanna tell me why Deanna just called me and told me she saw you with Daryl Dixon.”  

“Cause he was fixing my car. I told you that, remember?” You knew you said it in that way that suggested she was dumb for asking so you weren’t surprised when she smacked you across the face. It didn’t take the sting away though and you flinched away from her when she kept on.  

“You’ve done some truly stupid things before but this really tops it, you know that! Running around town like some whore!”  

And you could’ve said something else, at least that was the inner monologue you gave yourself afterward, when you were sitting in class with Maggie, swearing that you fell in the bathtub during your shower. You could’ve said something else, maybe, but you didn’t.  

“You would know! Why isn’t dad back yet? Cause he’s not better or cause you’re still fucking your boss!”  

Tara told you after school that she had wait the weekend, until she was back from her mom’s house, before you could stay. So you put yourself on best behaviour mode, faking it through a bruised jaw and other, worse injuries, that no one could see. You rolled in late to class with a slip that said you had tripped in the shower and you continued that lie until the last bell rang and you were driving to 7-11 to meet Tara, to stay far away from your mom.  

“Monday,” she promised. “I’m back from my mom’s Monday night, you can come over then.”  

“She told me ‘as long as you’re under my roof you won’t be anywhere near Daryl’. Good then, watch me get out from under your roof. She acts like it hasn’t happened before.” You replied, whispering as you stood in the back of the soda aisle, far away from Jacqui’s eavesdropping. The last thing you needed was her telling everyone what you said.  

“Does Daryl know?” Tara asked, playing dumb.  

“No.” You replied, “and I’m not gonna tell him. If he does like me he doesn’t need to think I’m messed up.”  

“You’re not messed up, your mom is a dick.”  

“Look, I can fake it for a weekend, church, no friends, work. It’ll be fine.” You promised, “and on Monday night, your house.”

“If you need it sooner, I could talk to my dad.” Tara offered. He’d let you stay plenty of times in the past.  

“No, Monday’s fine.”  

You survived the weekend the exact way you said you would. You faked the nice girl you had strived to be in middle school and for the first three years of high school. You didn’t talk back, you were quiet, nice, you went to work and to church and it was like some kind of wonderful transformation that your mother probably attributed to herself. She’d scared you straight out of your rebellious crush on Daryl and back to the girl she wanted you to be.

But Sunday came and you were counting down the hours. Just another day and you’d be at Tara’s. Hopefully a few more hours and Daryl would be back. Tonight, thankfully, your mom had left church, changed and gone to work, which left you at the diner, closing it out with Lori when Shane walked in.  

“I know you got a thing for that Dixon boy but I think you should reevaluate your eyes.” Lori commented, coming up next to you. “Shane Walsh is mighty fine.”  

“First, Daryl’s older than you,” you pointed out. He was 23, same as Rick, and Lori was 21, a little closer in age to you. “Second, you forget your pregnant?”  

“A girl can’t look?” She shrugged, walking away as you pretended to gag.  

Shane seemed oblivious to the interaction as he came up and sat at the counter. You hadn’t seen him since the party, though both Glenn and Maggie had and they claimed he had asked how you were. You weren’t surprised, Shane always did fashion himself as something of a ‘knight in shining armour’ you could only imagine the size of his ego knowing he had effectively ‘saved’ you from Aiden.  

“Hey Shane, what can I get you?” You asked, pad and pen ready, as if you thought he was actually going to order and he didn’t just come here with some ulterior motive like Aiden.  

“You, back?” Shane asked, grinning at you.  

You rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath and trying not to say anything too awful. The last thing you felt like dealing with today was Shane. “Hilarious. Order or move Shane.”

“I’m not joking.” He replied, leaning further across the counter.  

Over his shoulder Lori was shooting you a look that you were sure could translate into ‘jump on that offer’. You groaned, folding the notepad back up and slipping it into your apron. “Listen, Shane, I appreciate you standing up for me at the party and I’m sorry Aiden was a dick, I really didn’t want to be there with him-“

“Then why were you?”

“None of your business.” You snapped.  

“He trashed my house-“

“You both trashed your house! Don’t bitch at me because you got in a fight I didn’t ask you to get involved in.” You said, cutting him off.  

“So first it’s thanks so much and then it’s I don’t need you?”

“Yeah Shane,” you continued, “I was trying to be fucking nice to you but you’re being a dick. I’m sorry I don’t have feelings for you anymore but I can’t change that.”  

“You don’t mean that.” He said, keeping his voice low. He stood up and followed you down the counter as you tried to get back to work. As you lifted the gate on the counter he grabbed the other side, stopping you from going any further. “You got your head mixed up with that loser Dixon.”  

Your jaw tensed as you glared at him, “watch your mouth.” You let go of the gate, shoving passed him to get to your waiting tables.  

The resulting noise of the gate felt like it left an echo when Shane let go as well, turning and grabbing your arm. “Just talk to me, please!”

“I said no!” You snapped, pulling your arm away, “leave me alone Shane, I said no. I don’t want anything to do with you.”  

“Shane,” Otis’ voice caught both your attentions and you looked behind the counter to the window that offered a limited view of the kitchen. Otis was standing there, dish on the ledge, staring down Shane Walsh like he could fire bullets with his eyes. You’d known Otis your whole life and there wasn’t a person alive that ever had a bad word to say about him. He was a sweetheart, burly on the outside but teddy soft on the inside. He’d watched you hold your own with Shane in the past, and with Aiden. He watched you flirt with Daryl and told you more than a few times that you had that boy wrapped around your finger whether you thought so or not. And he watched Shane put his hand on you, “Think you should leave.”  

“We were just talking.” Shane replied, looking back at you like there was any chance in the world that you would defend him.  

“Yeah, and now you’re done.” Otis said.  

No further conversation was had. Shane nodded and left, Lori shooting him a sympathetic smile as he passed by her. You wanted to tell her to have at him, you could do without him hanging around. It was good Daryl was away for the weekend cause you were itching to go to his house as you stood outside the diner with Lori while she locked up.  

“You really over Shane?” She asked, as if she gave two shits about your life.

“Why?”

“Just wondering. He seems pretty passionate about you.”

“Passionate? Try aggressive.” You countered. He’d always been that way and you thought maybe there had been a time when you substituted who he was for who you wanted him to be but you liked to think you were a little smarter this time around.  

“What about Dixon?”

“Why are you asking me all these questions Lor?” You asked. You wanted nothing more than to get in your car and go home.  

“Just wondering, I get bored at the apartment, only one there to talk to is Rick and he’s on nights this week.” She replied. He was around whenever she had doctor’s appointments or if she needed something for the baby. She was more than positive that when the little Grimes was born he would be the best dad in King County but he seemingly less interested in being the best fiancé.  

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, answering her question finally, “Daryl and I aren’t dating though so it doesn’t matter.”  

“Think he’s waiting til you turn 18.” She asked.

“No, just don’t think he’s interested in dating me is all.”  

You’d given Daryl a lot of thought since you’d started spending time with him. There were times you thought maybe he liked you. Moments when it seemed plausible that there was something but it always felt like it was right before. This build up between the two of you with nothing to show for it in the end.  

“You have dated before right?”

“Obviously.” You replied, hand on the door of your car. If she would just get in and pull away , you could too.  

“Just checking.” She laughed, finally granting your wish and getting in the car.  

You peeled out after her, driving away from your street and pulling into the parking lot of the Shop’n’Bag. You parked as close as you could for a late night, your Jeep illuminated by the overhead light. The grocery store was practically dead at 10p as you grabbed a basket and walked around aimlessly. Hungry was not the way to shop but your mom was being a bitch and refusing to buy you groceries, going so far as to label the items in the refrigerator that she deemed hers.  

The freezer aisle, flickering from one of the ceiling lights, seemed to be your lucky spot. It wrapped the wall in the far left, two large cases running almost from wall to wall in the middle and a familiar frame leaning over one of them, cart full of other quick meals and beer beside him.  

“Hey stranger.” You greeted, stepping up next to him and leaning against the case.  

Daryl straightened, the faintest of smiles coming and going as he looked over at you, “ya ain’t stalking me are ya?”  

“No, I just finished at the diner, I’m starving.”  

“Ya know they make food there.” He replied, tossing a pack of steaks in the cart and moving along, you falling into step next to him.  

“I wasn’t hungry while I was there.” When he stopped again you pulled the three packs of stovetop mac and cheese out of your otherwise empty basket and dropped them in his cart before leaving your basket under the case.  

“I ain’t buying yer food.” He said, glancing over his shoulder at you. His eyes landed on the barely visible bruise that was still on your cheek, Tara’s words clear as day in his mind. “What happened?” He asked, hand brushing his own jaw in the same place.  

“Fell in the shower.”  

“Least it ain’t those cats this time.” He replied.  

“When did you get back?” You asked, following him down the aisle.  

“Like ten minutes ago, however long I been in here.” He said, pausing to throw something in his cart, “why?”

You shrugged, “it was boring this weekend, I missed you.”  

“Musta been real boring then.” He joked, turning his face away so you couldn’t see his cheeks going red. “Ya ain’t start any fights this weekend?”

“It wasn’t my fault,” you stressed. “Deanna called my mom though, told her she saw us driving in your truck.”  

“Told ya that ya shouldn’t be hanging around me.” Daryl replied, leaning against the handle of the cart. He watched you look through jars of red gravy until you found the one you wanted, sticking it in the cart. “I ain’t buying your food,” he repeated.

“I’ll pay for it,” you insisted, gripping the other end of the cart and smiling at him. “So, how was hunting?”

“A’ight. Got a deer in the bed a my truck.”  

You stuck your tongue out in disgust, “Glad my jeep’s fixed then.” You walked with Daryl through the rest of the store until he finally decided he was finished grocery shopping and turned his cart toward the check out, only one lane open this time of the night. When you tried to put the divider down between your order and his, Daryl put it back. “Thought you weren’t paying for me?”

“Ain’t a lot a stuff.” He shrugged, “bag it yerself though.”

“What a gentleman.” You laughed; scooting passed him so you could start bagging the groceries as the guy at the checkout put them through.  

Tara had told you enough times already that you should invite Daryl to your birthday, or just tell him that you like him and want to date him. You’d thought about both options plenty, positive that they were the only things on your mind these days. But actually, mentioning those things to him were a whole other story.  

“So, I turn 18 soon.” You mentioned as you walked out to your jeep with him. His truck was parked a few spaces down, blue tarp over the bed highlighted by a parking light. “Tara and Maggie are having a party for me.”  

“Ys sure that’s a good idea?” He joked, putting your groceries in the back for you.  

“Stop! No one’s ever gonna let me live that down.” You groaned.  

“Ya gonna invite me to yer party then?”  

You perked up a little, smiling, “well, yeah. And I was thinking too, you know, I’ll be 18.” You repeated at the end.  

“I heard ya.”

“I’ll be legal.” You clarified, as if he couldn’t catch on without you spelling it out for him.  

Daryl sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking at you a little more tired than before. “This ain’t a good idea, ya know,” he said, waving his hand between the two of you, “I ain’t got a lot going on right in my life. Ya shouldn’t be dragged into that.”  

“I’m not being dragged into anything,” you replied, “I really like you, I think I’ve been pretty obvious about it and if not then I’m telling you now. I like you and I’ll be 18 and I think-”

He stopped you by holding his hand up, “it ain’t gonna happen.”  

“Daryl-”

“I gotta get home,” he cut you off, stepping away from your car, “goodnight.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” You sighed, watching him walk away to his car.  

-

Taglist: @cbarter @onemorebeautifulnightmare @mainokutan  @solllaris @twdeadfanfic @legit-emily @gigilame @sabertooth-potato @enrapturedbythemoon @oncemorewithfeelingg @thanossexual @yespleasejayhalstead @hopesxxhigh @coffeebooksandfandom @jodiereedus22 @tehfabbooty @thecaptainsgingersnap @of-storms-and-sadness @alwaysadreamingoptimist @bucky-barnes-babies @ly--canthrope @daryldixonandfrogs @jaycc7983 @easnuppa @imaginecrushes @tonystarkismyboy @watchmeaspire @harpersmariano @guccicloudz @sapphire-angel @buzzybhee @alexbealee @elodieyung @its-evita-here 

[floral-and-fine]

Heaven Bent part 2

Daryl Dixon x female reader

Part 1

Summary: The reader finds Sophia lost in the woods, too bad neither of them have any sense of direction. 

A/n: Thanks for the support on part 1! Daryl is probably the hardest character I've ever written for. I've got a lot of ideas for this fic, just hoping I stay motivated. Thanks @ewokiee​ for all the help especially when I’m stuck!

You groaned, rolling over to your side and snuggling further into the covers. This had to be the softest bed in the world, with fluffy plush pillows stuffed with down feathers under your head and a thick warm blanket draped over your body. You wanted nothing more than to stay here and never leave. God, this was a million times better than cold nights sleeping on the ground, this bed was heaven, absolute heaven.

However, how you got here though was still a bit foggy, the last thing you could remember was an angel with a horse coming to save you and Sophia. Maybe this truly was heaven you thought to yourself. Either way, you were better off here than you were in that forest.

You peeked an eye open as you heard the door creak. An old man with white hair stepped into the room. There was an air of wisdom and sensibility about him.

“God?” You whispered, sitting up slightly.

The man gave you a skeptical look. “You must still be delirious,” he mused. “I’m Hershel, and this is my home.”

You nodded, taking a better look around. The room was decorated nicely, a typical farmhouse interior with white trim around the doorframe and windows. Definitely a nice place though.

He walked over to the side of the bed and looked you over. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” you answered, stretching your arms above your head.

“Good,” Hershel muttered. “When you first got here you weren’t making a lick of sense. You and that girl were in those woods for at least a week.”

“How is she?”

“She’s going to be alright. She just needs to rest,” he explained. “Most people had given up hope on finding her, my guess is she would’ve died without your help.”

You nodded, satisfied knowing Sophia was going to be okay.“That reminds me,” you started. “Where’d my angel go?”

Hershel quirked an eyebrow. “Angel?” He repeated.

“Yeah, I was saved by an angel,” you explained, trying to remember what he looked like exactly. You recalled his wings and halo, and that he didn't quite act like an angel should.

Hershel stifled a laugh, “That man is a lot of things, but I doubt he’s any kind of angel.”

“I know, but he’s an angel to me,” You looked down fiddling with the blanket on your lap, “I’d like to thank him now that I’m thinking more clearly… I can’t remember if I did when he found us.”

Hershel nodded, “If I see him, I’ll send him this way. Trish will be bringing up something for you to eat and some clean clothes.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, your eyes meeting his before he left the room.

…

In long strides, Daryl headed towards the RV, wanting to check in real quick on Sophia and Carol.

The look on everyone’s face when he returned with her and a stranger ranged from genuine surprise to shock.

Carol ran as fast as she could, meeting him at the edge of the woods. Immediately she crumbled to her knees, crying, as Daryl placed Sophie in her arms, muttering thank you over and over again.

Other than Daryl, it seemed like no one else believed that Sophia was still alive out there, and most of them had given up on finding her too.

Daryl thought back to you, back to the way you smiled at him while you were delirious, it was an image he couldn’t get out of his head. He couldn’t remember a time anyone else ever looked at him like that.

Just as the RV was in sight, Daryl could overhear voices coming from the woods nearby. Carefully, he wandered over, curious as to who was being so secretive.

Even with their voices hushed, it didn’t take Daryl long to identify who was talking. He frowned to himself listening closer, it was Rick and Shane, and from the sound of it, they were fighting over something.

“So what? We’re supposed to take in every stray we meet?” Shane argued.

“She helped one of our own,” Rick reasoned, stepping forward. “Sophia is alive because of her. We owe it to this woman.”

“We aren’t living in that kind of world anymore,” Shane insisted, gritting his teeth.

“Take a look around you,” Rick hissed. “We’re here right now because of the decency of others, we aren’t those kinds of people, we aren’t animals, we aren’t just gonna abandon her.”

Daryl huffed as Shane tried to pull that same bullshit like he did over the search for Sophia. All that survival of the fittest crap. If that really were the case, their group would only consist of him, Rick, and Shane.

“Daryl should’ve left her in those woods,” Shane spat. “We can’t afford to have another mouth to worry about.”

Daryl clenched his fists tightly, his knuckles turning white. Shane was really starting to show his true colors, a part of Daryl was beginning to think the group would be better off without that asshole.

Rick shook his head, he couldn’t believe Shane would even suggest telling that woman she had to go, to send her back out there on her own. And now this? Did he really think so little about the lives of others?

“I don’t know what your problem is, but all that shit about numbers or math or whatever ain’t right, she’s a person, a good person… She stays. End of story.”

Rick stared Shane down, making his point crystal clear. He knew the rest of the group would agree with him if it came to the point of getting the others involved. Rick had no idea what was going on inside Shane’s head, but it was sending him red flags.

Finally, Shane scoffed and stomped away, obviously still pissed off.

Sighing, Rick ran a hand over his face, he was going to need to keep a closer eye on Shane. This wasn’t the first time he’s made Rick worry. Shane was acting unpredictably lately, and some of his behavior was off the rails, there was no telling what he might do next.

Daryl started walking back the way he came, for a hot second there it seemed like things might have gotten ugly, in which he would’ve stepped in and backed Rick up.

…

You took another big bite of the apple Trish had brought up, moaning as you savored the taste, it felt like ages since you had fresh produce.

“You can take a shower in there,” Trish explained gesturing to the attached bathroom. She sat some clean clothes on the dresser for you. “Tried to find you some things in your size, hope they fit alright.”

Your eyes widened as you processed what she just said… you could take a shower? You almost wanted to celebrate over the news. Honestly, ever since waking up it felt like you had won some kind of lottery or a free vacation. You thanked her as she left the room.

The moment she was gone, you scurried out of the bed, stripping out of the dingy clothing you had been wearing for the last week. You could only imagine how terrible you smelled, surprised anyone welcomed you into such a nice home.

Turning on the faucet to the tub, you practically squealed when the water started heating up. Carefully, you removed your jewelry, setting it all down on the sink.

You couldn’t even describe the sound you made as you stepped in under the showerhead. It was a strange mix between a sigh, a laugh, and a moan.  

A week’s worth of grime and dirt rinsed off your body and down the drain. You scrubbed every inch of yourself, wanting to make sure you took full advantage of this chance. Who knows if you’d be fortunate enough to meet anyone else with a working shower on your travels.

For a few extra minutes, you just stood under the running water, enjoying every second of warm water before finally getting out of the shower.

…

“Ah, there you are,” Hershel said as Daryl approached the house. The old man was sitting in a chair on the porch, keeping an eye on Rick’s group. “Our new guest was asking for you.”

Daryl narrowed his eyes, unsure what you’d want from him.

"She seems to think she and that little girl have a guardian angel looking out for them," Hershel chuckled.

Daryl scowled. "Don't know what you're talkin' 'bout," he grumbled, climbing up the steps of the porch.

Being inside the farm house made Daryl feel uncomfortable like he was too dirty or something. All his life he couldn’t remember being welcomed into a house this nice looking.

Careful not to touch anything, he started going up the stairs. He didn’t even dare to touch the white banister, worried that he was tracking in dirt on his boots.

He knocked on the door and stuffed his hands back into pockets.

“Come in,” you called, still drying your hair. You were grinning like an idiot when Daryl stepped in. “There’s my angel!” You announced.

"Will you knock it off with all that angel crap?" Daryl demanded trying his best to be intimidating and tough.

You giggled, setting the towel down, and approached him. Your eyes and smile were the same, the exact same as they had been the first time you had mistaken him for an angel. He’d never admit it out loud, but he liked it, the way that you saw him.

“Why? As far as I’m concerned you’re heaven sent. Without you, me and Sophia would’ve died out there.”  

Daryl turned his head away, rubbing the back of his neck, he’d be damned if he allowed you to catch him blushing.

“Anyways, I asked for you, cause I wanted to say thank you,” you explained, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder, right before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks,” you murmured.

Daryl scoffed, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. “It was nothin’.”

You shook your head, “it wasn’t nothing.”

His piercing eyes met yours and your heart practically stopped. Just as you were about to lean forward again, Daryl cleared his throat, “you oughta put on a shirt, before going out there.”

You laughed, grabbing the white tee off the dresser, you were too distracted by Daryl to realize you were only wearing pants and a bra.

He rolled his eyes and left the room closing the door behind him. As you were pulling the shirt over your head you could hear him slowly descending the stairs muttering something to himself.

…

“You mean it?” You asked Rick flabbergasted, worried you didn’t hear him right. “Are you really saying I can stay with you all?”

“I am,” Rick nodded. “As far as I’m concerned you're one of us.”

With an excited shriek, you slung your arms around his neck in a quick hug. “Thank you!”

Rick laughed and patted your back.

You were ecstatic, when he asked to speak with alone and had pulled you to the side away from everyone, you assumed he was going to tell you that you had to go. But instead you received the best news imaginable for your situation.

As you pulled away from Rick, you felt someone watching you, it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

Looking around you saw a man with a buzzed haircut who was stalking off, he hadn’t spoken a word to you or bothered to introduce himself, but you heard the others refer to him as Shane. His body language was very aggressive, he was definitely pissed about something.

Once he was out of sight, you rubbed your arms up and down getting rid of the goosebumps that had appeared and made a mental note to avoid that man as much as possible. Whoever he was, he was giving off some serious bad vibes and nothing good was going to come of it.

“Did he tell you!?” An excited voice screeched, snapping you out of your stupor. Two thin arms wrapped around your middle, hugging you tightly.

You laughed, “he did!”

“So that means you’re staying with us, right?” Sophia asked, practically squeezing the life out of you.

“Yep.”

Looking up from Sophia, you saw her mother standing nearby, a soft smile on her face as she watched the two of you.

You gave her a small wave, before returning Sophia’s hug.

…

You settled into a routine with the group rather quickly, helping out with whatever you could from laundry to going on runs with Glenn. They were all friendly people for the most part with the exception of Shane.

Anytime the man was around, it put you on edge even with the others around. It seemed pretty apparent that he didn’t like you much, he’d seem perfectly fine until he noticed that you were nearby. All you could hope for was that he wouldn’t try to persuade Rick to force you to leave.

You were humming a random song to yourself while hanging laundry on the clothesline. It was a good day for it, plenty of sunshine and even a nice breeze, these clothes would dry in no time.

Reaching down into the wicker basket, you pulled out a white t-shirt, as you were pinning it to the line someone grabbed your forearm.

You gasped, where the hell did Shane come from?

“Shane,” you stuttered, wrenching your arm out of his grasp. “You scared me.”

He looked down at you, his eyes full of hatred towards you. “You’re going to get us all killed.”

You furrowed your brow, “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb,” He snapped, shaking his head. “Not everyone is capable of surviving this… you’re weak…”

You shrunk back, worried that whatever you did or tried next would only set him off.

He took another step forward, “I’ll be damned if I let you risk it for the rest of us.”

Daryl's eyes narrowed as he came out of the woods. His grip on his crossbow tightening. Your body language alone was enough for him to notice that you were uncomfortable.

“Hey!” Daryl shouted. “Thought you wanted me to teach you how to skin an animal.” He held up the rabbits he just caught.

You blinked in surprise, looking at Daryl, his expression was practically murderous as he stared at Shane, who immediately backed off, taking a few steps away from you.

“Well I ain’t got all day,” Daryl complained, gesturing for you to come with him.

Finally, it dawned on you what he was doing.

“R-Right,” you squeaked, quickly shuffling away and over to Daryl. You kept your head down, still feeling Shane’s eyes on you.

“C’mon,” Daryl said, gently placing a hand on your upper back and guiding you back towards the RV.

“Thanks, Angel,” you murmured, once you believed you were far away enough that Shane couldn’t hear you.

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, turning around and giving Shane a dirty look. The next time that asshole decides to corner you like that, Daryl was going to beat the shit out of him.

Tags: @xaestheticalien​ @twdeadfanfic​ @amaroho​

[rounove]

Shyan Fan fic Recommendation

Anon I want to kiss you right now. I have been waiting for this question for years

Batch 1

*All | orphan_account

Ryan's got an itch only Shane can scratch.

*"Come over here and make me." | aldhafera 

“Shane, stop that this instant!” “Come over here and make me.” In which Ryan fears something followed them home and Shane just wants to give the (definitely non-existent) ghosts a show. 

Por Favor, Sweetheart |  carrieonfighting

Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

(This one’s so domestic I think I melted)

the choices we make |  exul

Shane and Ryan find themselves in a world where much is the same, yet everything is different. An apartment that's theirs, but not theirs. Photos of them that were never taken. And most importantly a child, who's somehow theirs, yet they've never seen her before. or Shane and Ryan wake up in a world where they're married and have a baby. 

and then there were two (idiots) |  sessrumnir

Shane kisses Ryan by accident one day. A week later they are still trying to process what happened. 

*Body Farming |  shiphitsthefan

Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

*breathe out so i can breathe you in |  trxshmxuth

They've been tiptoeing around each other for months now, walking on ice so thin that Ryan can practically see the sexual tension swirling and raging underneath. Ryan's almost afraid that when the ice finally cracks, he's not going to be able to resurface again.On their next Unsolved investigation, the ice breaks.

eventually, the darkness stares back |  EAST (WESTAGE)

Shane realizes he likes Ryan exactly the way he is: alive. 

Four Down, One to Go |  sunshinewinchesters

Ryan is sick and Shane is having a really shitty week. 

*Hold Your Breath, It Gets Better |  beethechange

Ryan stops short in the doorway of his bedroom, banging his shoulder against the doorframe in his haste, because he’s too late. Shane’s kneeling in front of the bottom drawer of his bedside table, peering down at the contents, hand frozen in a hover like he’d been about to reach in. His face is a blank mask.

“Ah. I keep the batteries in the top drawer. Not. Not the bottom one.”

“Yes,” Shane says, cocking his head to the left in puzzlement, and then he pauses for a fraction of a second too long as he considers his words. “I can see that the batteries are not in the bottom drawer.”

*How Deep (Is Your Love) |  touchinghearts

The last thing Shane expects when he exits the bathroom is for his boyfriend to appear out of fucking nowhere, pin him against the wall, and swallow his cock down in the open hallway of a hotel. 

It's a love/hate kind of thing. |  heyghouls

Shane is an executive producer at BuzzFeed and Ryan is his intern. It's not love at first sight for the boys, but will they finally see eye to eye when they realize they have more in common than they thought? Shane is an introvert who finds it hard to let people in, and Ryan is a cute loving boy who just wants to figure the guy out. 

Just Out of Reach |  formosus_iniquis  

A variation on the "I asked for your help getting a book off the top shelf and and you laughed at my taste and called me a nerd so I shoved you into a table of nonfiction best-sellers and that’s how we both got banned from the quirky community bookstore" prompt 

keep you like an oath |  spoopyy

"I'm in love with you," Ryan says, desperate."No, you're in love with the views."

kiss me like you mean it |  rocketshiptospace

“Hi,” Tall man says, taking in the sight in front of him. “I’m sorry, I heard banging and yelling and I just, are you okay?”

“No. Yes. Maybe,” Ryan says, slowly standing back up on two legs again. “My door won’t open.” He eventually ads, when him and Tall man have just stared at each other for a few seconds.

“That’s unfortunate,” Tall man says, smiling at him. He has a really nice smile. “But it happens. It’s an old building, you know. Doors get stuck sometime. Here, let me try,” He steps past Ryan, and places his hand on the door handle. The door swings open like it’s nothing.

or, Ryan's apartment building plays matchmaker.

*Muscles Better and Nerves More |  beethechange

A certain meddling Voodoo Queen of New Orleans thinks Ryan and Shane need some new perspective on life. After an inadvisable ritual deposits Ryan in Shane’s body, and Shane in Ryan’s, the ghoulboys pursue some soul-searching and self-discovery to put things right. Sometimes in a sexy way. 

the calm before crescendo |  abovetheruins

Alternate title: 5 times Shane Madej was flustered by Ryan Bergara, and 1 time he finally did something about it. 

*The Desk Fic |  SincerelyLeah

Shane was having a shitty Monday morning and it was all because of one person, Ryan Bergara. But, by now he should know that endless teasing gets Shane more than riled up. 

Things That Go Bump in the Night (and 7 till 12 at weekends) |   HoopyFrood

Shane works at a Haunted House. Ryan is Ryan. Things go about as well as you'd imagine. 

Tranquility Base |  sessrumnir

After their successful Sims series, Kelsey has a different video proposal for the boys. This time, they're testing how fast gossip travels in the office. But Ryan doesn't expect their relationship to change so fast because of it. 

*wasted on you |  cursingcursive (queenradi)

there's a reason shane loves when ryan wears his clothes. 

Weird |  Helsabot

One night, the stack of pillows between them becomes one stack too many. “Let me— let me hit you with a thought. A theory.” “A postulation?” “Sure. Let me postulate at you.” “Postulate away, baby.”

You Make Me Glow |  sohapppily

Whenever they were on their ghoul excursions, Shane always had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue and a twisted smirk to shoot at Ryan’s terror. He was mostly the same way in their unrecorded life, but they played up the banter for the sake of The Boys. Although it was a welcome respite for Ryan, seeing Shane in these settings with nothing but sleep on his features never failed to be a bit jarring.

Ryan couldn’t look away.

lightning in a bottle |  LexTheMoose

Love is slow-dancing on the balcony of a house party at 11 PM. 

meet me halfway |  poetdameron

In a world where everything changed over the night, Ryan and Shane's minds connect miles away, making Shane the man of Ryan's dreams. Literally. 

Batch 2

*And they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates) |  Squeakyshroom

All my notes said on this one was “this is pure sex jesus”

2:10 to Wellton |  quackers

and i'm puffing my chest, getting red in the face |  pissedofsandwich

Bed-warm Hands and the Ghost of Elvis |   MiraclesofPaul

*BFFS Get Married For A Week - Ryan and Shane |  aspookycryptidsock

distorted truths |  hwsinbs

*Everything's Weird and We're Always in Danger |   beethechange

hammer me to the cross of my despair |   heartchains

I Think the Ghost Likes You |   cactsu

*I’ve Kissed You Before, but I Didn’t Do It Right (Can I Try Again) |   beethechange

if i should fall |  abovetheruins

*Just The Facts |   millyvanilly (miloisnothere)

*Out of Control with Ryan |  beethechange

*Pushing All Your Buttons |  beethechange

satisfaction brought it back |  ElasticElla

Short Stack |  Anonymous

*Thank you, Satan |  Squeakyshroom

The Chain |  Lafayette1777

Rough water |  heyghouls

Batch 3

The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist |  orphan_account

One in Five Billion |  punk_rock_yuppie

a short history of almost something |  cooliohoolio

*A Suspicion of Feelings |  beethechange

I Will Be the Sun, I Will Wake You Up |  sohapppily

*ready if it happens with you |  sarcasticfishes

*The Denial Twist |  beethechange

The Bizarre Road Trip Of A Missing Family |  icantwritegood

Beautiful Crime |  orphan_account

The Odd Death of Michelle Von Emster |  icantwritegood

won't you ride on my fast machine? |  ElasticElla 

Batch 4

*Breathe |  quackers

*The Hunger |  poetdameron

Black Sun |  quackers

contrapposto |  spoopyy

(Let me tell you that I never liked major character death but I accidentally read this one without reading the warning and YOO I am a fan of major character death now. This was beautifully written!)

darling it's a faded notion |  varnes

(This was the very first shyan fic I’ve read and still one of the best one’s)

*Full-Court Press |  beethechange

(I remember this one oh my god this has jersey kink in it and I didn’t even know what it means until I read this and it awaken something in me. This writer I swear to god. They could write Ryan and Shane fucking in a hot dog costume on top of the mountains and I’d still be into it.)

*Ryan Number One |  quackers

(THIS has everything I want and didn’t know I needed. This is hot this is sexy. Five star porn right here.)

theft by finding |  varnes 

*Wicked Game |  quackers

(This is my favorite. This ruined me in so many ways and I got so affected and shaken up that I can’t draw anything for months. I have been to so many fandoms and read hundreds of fics but nothing has fucked me up like this. I have to switch to a different fandom because I am having the longest art block ever because I keep thinking about this fic. I am not exaggerating I swear if you see my previous posts there’s quite a gap in my shyan art. And I am saying this in the highest of compliment, this fic changed my life.)

*Translucent |  poetdameron 

*Begin the Begin, Over and Over |  beethechange 

*Let the Sunshine Burn Your Eyes |  YogurtTime 

*Look How Long They Are |  drunkkenobi

*The Disturbing Mystery of the Jamison Family |  icantwritegood

(This one’s fun! I fucking love this one! Lot’s of angry sex. The banter! The banter holy shit hmm!! I don’t want to spoil anymore. It’s dark but it’s funny it’s also hot and sad. This writer loooves angst.)

*Collide |  needywitch 

* - has porn

This got way longer than I thought and I couldn’t even put the summary in some of them but all of these are worth the read. This fandom has so much talented writers that my small monkey brain went fucking bananas on the list. 

[stardust-walker]

High Hopes: Chapter 9

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

word count: 2774

______________________________________________________

It wasn't too long before everything came crashing down on her again as Rick honked his horn in front of her and Dove slammed on the brakes to keep from causing a pile up. She grumbled to herself as she reached into her bag to pull out her sunglasses, only to pull out a necklace with a small black crystal attached to it right along with it. The brunette paused for a moment before she let out an annoyed sigh, reached into the bag again, pulled the necklace over her head, and turned off the car. "What's the issue?" She called up to the group by the RV as she exited the car.

"She broke down again," Dale called back to her before her continued to speak to Rick. Dove groaned and ran a hand through her hair as she moved forward to sit in the grass across from the RV next to Carol.

"This is bullshit," Dove mumbled as she twirled the lighter in her hand.

Carol placed her hand on top of the lighter and caused her sister to stop. "He told them about it before. Now you stop it with that thing, we don't need you startin a forest fire or something on top of this." Dove hated when Carol went into 'lecture-mom' mode. It reminded her too much of when she was younger; before she pulled her shit together.

"Sorry, just nervous I guess," Dove sighed as she switched to playing with the necklace around her neck. Carol only hummed a reply as she stroked Sophia's hair. Jacqui rushed out of the RV and nearly succeeded in scaring Dove half to death as she did so. The young woman jumped to her feet as the other woman began to explain.

"It's Jim. It's real bad. I don't think he's gonna last much longer." Jacqui looked around for help. Rick, as always, jumped to help. Sophia let out a quiet whimper from behind Dove as she wrapped her arms around Carol's waist.

Dove stepped closer to the RV as Daryl walked up the few steps and stopped. She hovered by the doorway, her fingers clutched the stone around her neck as she waited for the man to come back out. It was quicker than she thought, but when Daryl descended he didn't have much of an answer. He just shook his head and mumbled. "Looks real bad. So much for givin him a chance."

Dove leaned against the side of the RV and listened as Rick and Jim spoke in the RV. He was asking them to leave him there. She had to respect him for making a decision for himself but it still hurt. It still felt like a failure because she hadn't been able to help him, not that she would have been able to help much anyway. She wiped the tears off her face as Rick came back out from the RV and spotted her. "…He wants us to leave him here."

Dove sighed. "I heard."

Rick ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, "It's what he says he wants."

Dove tapped her foot on the ground as the others joined the group to listen. It was hard for everyone to take in, no doubt about it.

Carol squinted her eyes at Rick, confused. "He's lucid and asking for this?" Dove pushed off of the RV and walked over to her sister's side. She leaned her forehead on Carol's shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut.

Dale spoke up. "Back at camp, when I said Daryl might be right, you misunderstood. I would never go along with callously killing a man! I was just gonna suggest that…we ask Jim what he wants." Dove let out a heavy sigh as she straightened up.

"I mean, I guess I kind of meant the same thing back there. I didn't think that taking a pickaxe to a man's head was the right idea but…by not giving him a choice, look how much more he's suffered for it," Dove motioned to the RV with tears in her eyes. "Because we didn't give him a chance back at camp he's suffered for longer than he had to and for what?" Her voice broke as Carol pulled her into a tight hug. Lori placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as the men continued to speak.

It was Shane who caught her attention. "I don't know if I'll be able to live with leaving a man to die on the side of the road."

Lori spoke up once again, "It's not your call. Either one of you. It's Jim's call."

That was that. It all seemed to happen so fast. Dove pulled Sophia to the side as they brought him down out of the camper. Jim had never been a big guy, but he looked like the walking definition of fragility at that moment as Shane and Rick carried him down the steps and across the road. Dove followed close behind Carol as the group made its way up the hill. She had seen so much death in the past few days that it seemed like a nightmare she was never going to wake up from.

Jacqui knelt down and stroked Jim's cheek in a comforting way and Dove turned her gaze up to the sky. Tears blurred her vision as she moved up again in the procession. Dove stood next to Glenn, she felt the gentle squeeze on her wrist as Glenn turned to move back down the hill. But Dove didn't follow the others down, instead she moved forward and dropped to her knees in front of Jim.

"I'm sorry," she choked out as she fought to keep from crying, "I'm sorry that I couldn't help you or get there faster with the guns I…"

Jim just shook his head, "Ok, Sawyer. Gonna be with my family now." He already sounded like he was so far away from the grassy hilltop. Dove nodded her head and managed a weak smile as she sucked in a deep breath and rose to her feet. She was surprised to see Daryl still stood there as she turned to walk back down the hill. With a nod to Jim, the redneck motioned for Dove to descend the hill first. She paused for a moment before she pulled the keys from her pocket and made her way back down the hill. As Dove got back to the car, she was glad that she was alone once again. At least no one could judge her for crying now.

~

The ride seemed to take forever, but when they finally came to a stop Dove couldn't find herself wanting to get out. It was only the sight of her family exiting the car in front of her that pushed her to open the door and climb out.

The smell was almost as bad as Atlanta had been, but maybe even worse considering how many bodies littered the ground. Dove gagged as she raised a hand to cover her mouth. She grabbed Sophia's hand as Carol wrapped an arm around her and led them along with the rest of the group. She just hoped there was someone alive in there and this wasn't all for nothing.

She watched as Shane attempted to push the garage doors up and shook her head. "I don't think that's gonna work with these. Odds are there's magnets and all other types of crap keeping that thing on lockdown," she hissed as the man began to pound on the door.

She turned quickly as Glenn shouted about walkers. It was taken out quickly by Daryl, but then it descended into chaos just as quickly. "You led us into a graveyard!"

Dale attempted to plead with the man, "He made a call."

Daryl just shouted right back, "He made the wrong damn call!"

Dove watched as Shane approached him and tried to get him to shut up, but that was just as aggressive. Despite Carol's protest, Dove stepped forward and shoved herself right between the two men, effectively pushing Shane back as she reasoned quietly with Daryl. "Listen, how was Rick supposed to know. He made the wrong call, it happened. Don't make it fucking worse by screaming and draw in more walkers or I will be the one to put you in a god damn choke hold," she finished with a hiss.

Shane spoke up again as the others panicked, "Fort Benning, Rick…"

Andrea finally spoke up, "On what? No food, no fuel? That's 100 miles and a suicide mission."

"125. I checked the map," Glenn corrected her.

Dove ran back over and grabbed Carol's arm, "Cmon we gotta go. Let's just take your car and go if they can't make a decision."

Carol's eyes grew wide as she shook her head, "I'm not leaving everyone else here to die."

Suddenly, Rick called back to them. "The camera! It moved."

"You imagined it," Dale shook his head.

"It moved. I saw it move! Someone's alive in there," Rick began to shout and Dove's chest began to grow tight with panic. Rick was pounding on the door and it was making way too much noise. "I know you can hear me. Please help us, we have women and children! We have no food, hardly any gas! We have nowhere else to go." Dove squeezed Carol's arm tighter as she watched Lori try to calm Rick down. "You're killing us!" Rick began to pound the door and scream over again. All of a sudden it seemed like Rick's screams had gotten through and she squinted her eyes as the bright fluorescents invaded her vision.

~

Dove could only look around the huge building with wide eyes as she took in everything. Then she heard someone load a rifle. Her attention instantly went to a man who shouted towards them, "Anyone infected?" Rick's answer about Jim seemed to satisfy the man enough. "Why are you here what do you want?"

Rick answered, plain and simple. "A chance."

"That's asking an awful lot these days," the man answered back. Dove watched the man as he glanced around, surveying the group one by one. For a moment, she thought he was going to tell them all to go to hell and throw them out. Then he spoke again and it felt like a weight lifted off her chest. "You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."

Rick nodded his head. "We can do that."

"You got stuff to bring in, do it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed." The doctor explained as he approached the group.

"Glenn," Dove called over as he began to run out the door with some of the other men to get the things from the cars. "Just grab my bag from Carol's car. You can't miss it." Glenn nodded at her and she embraced him happily as she accepted her things back into her arms a few minutes later.

She wasn't as happy when she ended up sandwiched in between Carol and Daryl in the packed elevator. She held her bag tightly in front of her as she stared straight ahead at a spot on the wall above Lori's head. Daryl broke the awkward silence. "Doctors always go around packing heat like that," he questioned the doctor and Dove couldn't help herself.

She landed a well concealed punch right to his forearm as she mumbled, "fuckin jackass,"

To her surprise, the doctor answered back seriously. "There were plenty lying around. I familiarized myself with them. But you all look harmless enough." Dove rolled her eyes. "Except you," Jenner pointed to Carl and Dove could barely hold back a laugh.

Once the doors opened, Dove walked closely behind Carol and Sophia. She took in her surroundings as she walked. "We underground," Carol piped up.

"Why. You claustrophobic," the doctor questioned her.

"A little," Carol answered.

"A lot," Dove replied.

Dr. Jenner glanced over his shoulder at them, "Try not to think about it."

Dove rolled her eyes, threw a hand in the air, and mumbled to herself, "Oh wow why haven't I just thought of that before. I'm cured." She thought she heard Daryl snort somewhere behind her and she trained her focus back on her surroundings. This place looked way too sterile. So sterile that it made her skin crawl. Her hazel eyes burned as more lights turned on in the room in front of them.

"Where is everybody," Rick questioned the other man. Maybe that was what was bothering her. There were all these rooms, all these doorways but no one else was around as far as they'd seen.

"I'm it. It's just me here." Jenner answered and Dove felt a chill run down her spine. That didn't seem good at all.

"What about the person you were speaking to? VI?" Lori spoke up from the back of the group.

"VI, say hello to our guests," Jenner called out into the nothingness of the room around them. A computerized voice echoed from the speakers around them.

Dove waited in line to get her blood taken and winced as the needle was inserted into her arm. "So a blood test can really tell if we're infected? I mean, none of us have been bitten."

The doctor just smiled at her as he pulled the needle from her arm and motioned for her to get out of the chair. "Yes. A blood test can tell."

~

Of all things, Dove hadn't been expecting the CDC to have such a collection of wine and she made sure to say so about 5 times. She sat in between Carol and Jacqui, a genuine smile on her face for the first time in what felt like months. "You know," Dale explained, "In Italy, children have a little wine with their dinner."

"I think that sounds like good ol' uncle Dale has had a little too much wine with his dinner if you ask me," Dove whispered to Jacqui before she let out a snort of laughter at her own stupid joke.

"When Carl is in Italy or France, then he can have some but we're in Georgia so that's a no," Lori laughed as she placed a hand over Carl's glass.

"What's it gonna hurt. Come on," Rick chimed in.

The group all sat still as Carl took a sip, only to promptly make a sour face. Dove shook her head and raised her own glass to take a sip. "That's my boy," Lori stated as she poured the wine from Carl's glass into her own.

Dove reached across the table and grabbed the bottle of wine and poured more into her glass. "You wanna slow down there," Jacqui joked as she eyed her glass.

"Listen, I was a therapist. I could probably drink on a professional level at this point, I'm good." Dove shook her head as she placed the bottle back down on the table to more laughs.

"Better stick to soda pop there, bud," Shane laughed at Carl.

"Not you Glenn." Daryl shouted as he walked around the table. Dove turned in her chair, an arm draped over the back so she could see Glenn.

"What," Glenn grinned, his face already a little pink whether it was from the attention being on him or the alcohol.

"Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get," Daryl joked. Dove stopped mid-sip in an attempt to not choke on her drink. Carol patted Dove on the back.

"New rule everyone, we carry alcohol with us wherever we go," Dove raised a hand in the air.

"Why's that," Dale questioned from across the table.

Dove shrugged her shoulders. "Because it actually seems to make Daryl a little more tolerable," she laughed as she ducked her head back into her glass as the group seemed to laugh in agreement. Daryl rolled his eyes as he held out his hand for the wine bottle and actually thanked Dove when she handed it to him.

The clinking on Rick's glass brought everyone back to order for a moment. "We haven't thanked our host yet," Rick stood up.

Dove raised her glass as Dale said his thanks, followed by a loud shout of "Booyah," from Daryl.

Dove turned her head, her hazel eyes locked with Carol's for a second as the other woman actually laughed and raised her own glass. Sophia even seemed to be enjoying herself and for that, she would always be somewhat grateful to Dr. Edwin Jenner for the few hours of peace he has given her family.

_________

@crossbowking​ @momc95​ @chaotic-gary-king-stan​​

[wetookanoath]

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it, but in the first postmortem the boys do, Ryan says that Shane once told him that he [Shane] wants his last words to be “Keep Rolling.” Do you think you could write a fic based on that? I feel like your writing would be perfect for that style fic. If you don’t want to, I understand. I love you ❤️❤️

Originally, this was two fics. One was the answer to this prompt that I started to write almost TWO years ago that then morphed into a parallel story to Like You Want To Be Loved from Ryan’s POV, and the other was a birthday gift for @mercury-skies (I’m so sorry I missed the date!), but then I realized both were pretty similar and said, “fuck it, canon divergence”. Which… is what this is, lol. In this Canon Divergence kinda AU thing, Shane has had Obi since he moved to LA.

Dear Soph, I hope you like this little thingy. I’m so sorry it took so long, I hope your birthday was as wonderful as you. I love you, you are one of the reasons I’m in this fandom still, and one of my best friends. I hope to have you in my life for a thousand years.

PS: It’s not a parallel story to LYWTBL.

(Read on AO3)

I’ll Stick With You, Baby, For A Thousand Years

If you asked Ryan, it all started in the Sallie House.

He had known Shane for almost two years before he asked him to be part of Unsolved. There was a certain amount of nervousness when he did so, and a sweet and almost shy smile on Shane’s face when he said yes without looking at him, pretending to not be excited. 

Ryan knew then it had been a good idea.

In that evil house, he confirmed this thought when he had ran out of the place with his blood rushing through his veins in hot waves, heart pounding crazy in his ears. He couldn’t hear anything but the million ways his brain had told him the demon inside the house was going to kill him if he kept messing with it in there, Shane’s juvenile laugh so far away now that Ryan wondered if he had imagined it.

At first, he also thought he was imagining the man coming out of the house in such a calm manner, it made Ryan feel even more uneasy. But his friend had approached him, asked if he was okay, and when he hadn’t gotten an answer, waited until Ryan was ready to look up at him a few seconds later.

“We have to get back inside, Ryan,” he had said and Ryan had shook his head no, no, no, never. “Look, I know you’re scared but this is our job now, man. We committed to this, we are gonna finish this together.”

“I don’t want to die…” he murmured. Shane chuckled but it didn’t really sound offensive to his ears. In a way, it made him feel a bit better that the man found all this so funny.

Shane was smiling, that was the trick that did it. He smiled at Ryan, bright and kind, finding Ryan’s fear endearing somehow and not shameful. His hands were on Ryan’s shoulders in a heartbeat, his face neutral as he spoke again.

“You are not gonna die, I won’t let that happen. None of us will.” He said. “You are already the bravest of us by deciding to walk in there earlier today, knowing that you believe in whatever could be there.”

“Are you admitting there’s a demon in the house?”

“I’m admitting nothing but the only truth we know for sure: you believe in it, it scares you, and yet you set foot there like a boss.” He smiled again, squeezing Ryan’s right shoulder. “In my book, you’ve already won against that bitch little girl.”

At the time, it had made him laugh. Ryan swallowed and nodded, readying himself to get back into the house when Shane’s hands cradled his face in his big hands. His heart stopped beating and for a second, Ryan wished Shane would kiss him.

The man looked at his face instead, as if searching for something Ryan wasn’t sure was in him. After a few seconds, he smirked.

“Let’s get back in there, little guy.” It was the first time he had called him that and it made Ryan want to listen to him forever. “Let’s finish this job.”

They had gone in there together, Shane behind him, ready to push him into the place if necessary but it wasn’t. Instead, Ryan had tried his best to not piss his pants and let Shane keep laughing in the face of danger like if he wasn’t scared for the soul of his friend.

Shane made things different, Ryan noticed, in a way he hasn’t witnessed before. 

Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t believe that made him brave in Ryan’s eyes, screaming and laughing at empty spaces Ryan thought were filled with evil they couldn’t see. But Shane looked back at him, the tender smile of earlier and Mexico City, and San Jose, and that afternoon at work when he had popped the question, so sweet on his lips, making his face kinder and Ryan had to blink back unknown tears.

“You really are scared, aren’t you?” Shane asked him later as they laid down on the floor.

He had gotten his sleeping bag closer to Shane and the man had laughed, allowing him this as he was allowing him so much lately. Ryan said nothing to his question, thinking it unnecessary when it was so obvious what was happening to him.

Many shadows were taking strange shapes, windows seemed to get darker, and Shane came into view still with all the lights off. Ryan looked at him as the man got closer to Ryan and laid on his side, looking at him.

“Give me,” he said. Ryan frowned and realized he was offering him his hand. Shane was asking for his. “Give me that hand.”

Hesitant, Ryan moved his hand until it was on Shane’s. The man grabbed it like if he was trying to warm it up, keeping it against his in a firm grip without interlocking their fingers or doing anything else, just holding it. Shane sighed, licking between his lips before squeezing Ryan’s hand.

“Nothing you think may be out there is real.” He murmured, Ryan was already aware this was something they were getting cut for the video. “Nothing out there can hurt you, I promise you that.”

“You can’t do that.”

The man smiled. “Don’t contradict me, Bergara, never underestimate my competitiveness.”

Ryan couldn’t help but giggle at that, both of them were certainly assholes when it came to competing against others and against each other. In a way, it was one of the first things that attracted him to Shane, the way he seemed to encourage him into competing with him to be the best new thing in the office. It was insufferable and oddly motivational.

“I’ll keep you safe and alive just so I can say I told you so.”

“I bet you would.”

Shane’s eyes closed, he was still smiling as sleepiness started to call him back into its arms. Ryan swallowed as he thought of leaving again. But as if sensing his thought, Shane squeezed his hand.

“You are safe with me, angel.”

Somehow, it gave him the courage to stay until past the witching hour. Shane had laughed at his inability to stay for the rest of the night but had put his hand on his thigh as they drove away from the house, looking at him with a soft smile.

“I’m proud of you,” he said, and it rang in Ryan’s ears for the rest of the night. He was unable to sleep, even in the comfort of their hotel room.

He thought there, as he tossed around the mattress and the sheets, that Shane was some kind of handsome he hadn’t noticed before. He was cute, always has been. Funny and caring, protective in a way.

And he also had a girlfriend.

**

“I got one.” Shane said.

“Shoot!”

“What post-apocalyptic world is the most interesting you’ve seen in a movie?”

Ryan took a deep breath, thinking of his answer as he drove. They were alone in the car, the rest of the crew had taken their own rental with the excuse of wanting to sleep, “the truth is that you two never shut up”, Mark had told them. And Ryan was actually kind of be grateful for it. He enjoyed these 20 Questions sessions more than he cared to admit.

“Maybe Mad Max? I mean, it would be bananas to live in that!” he answered, and Shane chuckled at it. “Ugh, you’re going to say something pretentious like The Matrix or Terminator.”

“What’s pretentious about Terminator?!” Shane kept laughing, his eyebrows high and face surprised.

They laughed together a few more seconds before Shane answered. “My answer is kind of obscure, actually.”

“Holy shit.”

“But that’s not how 20 Questions goes, Ryan.”

“Shit, I don’t give a fuck.” He frowned, then rolled his eyes when he saw Shane looking at him with that shitty grin of his. “Okay then, same question for you.”

There was a shift in the air and Ryan wasn’t sure what to make of it, but Shane was suddenly serious, looking to the road outside the window.

“Children of Men.”

An obscure future for sure. 

“Why?”

Shane smiled at him. “It’s my turn.”

“Oh, come on!”

The man giggled but cleared his throat before answering. “I think it’s something not so far away or impossible.” He said. “And I found it interesting, the way people reacted around the girl and her miraculous child.” Shane licked his lips and swallowed. “Hopeless world suddenly has hope in the form of a young lady and a baby…”

“I always thought it was kind of like the Jesus tale,” Ryan commented. “Mary was just a random young kid having the son of God, the hope that was promised.”

“Oh yeah, like obvious Christian imagery aside, it’s very interesting.”

Ryan sighed, the silence that followed felt oddly charged but none dared to break it. It felt sacred too, like if they had just shared something important and not just an opinion on a movie’s portrayal of the world after its end. 

“You were raised Christian, right?” Shane asked suddenly.

“Catholic,” he murmured. “Even went to a Catholic school, and Grandma Bergara made sure to remind me every Sunday why I shouldn’t wake up early that day. Church ain’t that fun.”

Shane said nothing for a few seconds, then asked: “You think believing in ghost has something to do with your faith?”

Ryan frowned, thinking about his answer again. It was his turn to ask, but Shane’s question tickled in his brain as he thought over his family, the exchange in cultures, all that spiritualism he had absorbed over the years.

He had been a non-believer of the supernatural in his early teens, but had faith. Ryan wasn’t sure if it was actually something he grew up to have or was something he had picked from his parents. Regardless, he wasn’t a religious person but he had faith.

“Maybe,” he finally said. “I have faith there’s something else after death. Sometimes souls don’t pass on and stay here.”

“What about demons and all that, Ryan?”

“Well…” His hands were sweating on the steering wheel, Ryan swallowed before answering again. “If there’s good, there’s evil. One can’t exist without the other.” He repeated what his grandmother once told him. “Why are you asking me this?”

Shane looked at him as if he had been caught doing something wrong. His eyes were wide open and his eyebrows were up again. He recovered soon, clearing his throat and sitting straighter on his seat.

“Well, I don’t believe in any of that. I get curious.”

Ryan looked at him for a few seconds, then back at the road.

“So you’re saying, you don’t have faith?” Ryan asked, Shane blinked. “I mean, not like a religion or something. But, just faith that there may be more.”

“No, I guess I don’t,” he murmured.

There were a million other things Ryan wanted to ask him. Even after so many years, he still had so many questions for the man, and he hoped the roads never ended for them, for their little show to keep giving them excuses to leave town and experience all this together.

In that moment, though, Ryan changed the subject by keeping their previous game with more questions about movies and simpler, sillier things.

Shane’s words still echoed in his head as they kept going and the night approached with their arrival to the hotel. Tomorrow they would be working, but tonight they still had a few minutes to spare with each other, laying together on the same bed of their double room.

“I would really like to believe in something, you know?” Shane said, one arm over his forehead as he looked at the ceiling. “Wrap myself into it, find something beyond what is said and done.”

“Why?”

There was no answer for him, just Shane’s eyes piercing Ryan’s soul as he seemed to be looking for something on his face again. It was then that his free hand moved, fingers holding Ryan’s chin up as Shane kept watching.

“Because it’s terrifying to live in a world so still!” he suddenly said with enough goofiness to distract anyone from the grey shadow that had appeared over him. Ryan blinked a couple of times. “If there’s something else aside from the things we know, well, I gotta know too! Wouldn’t that be something?”

“Yeah.” Ryan answered after a pause. “I guess it would.”

The silence that followed made him think of Shane these past months they’ve spent together, travelling for their show and how it had become theirs after it had been his for what felt like an eternity. Make no mistake; Brent had been a good host, one of his best friends still. But the man was never as present as Shane seemed to be now, so involved and worried for it to be as perfect as possible.

Shane, the perfectionist. Going behind Ryan to edit better, giving him so many great ideas that Ryan didn’t know how else to credit him other than to name him co-parent of this little project that was becoming popular. He wondered for a moment where would Unsolved take them, if it was going to become a monster or an angel.

“I really wanna see a ghost, Ryan.” Shane said suddenly, making him look back to find Shane sitting on the bed. “You better prove me wrong.”

It felt like a promise.

“Oh, you’ll eat your words, sir,” he said, and Shane smiled at him. “You’re gonna kiss my ass soon, we are so gonna get something one of these days.”

They laughed together; it seemed like they were always laughing together about the same shit. Their laughter was bright and obscure, and sometimes it made other people wonder what was it. Maybe that was their own ghost, the thing only they could see.

Shane’s fingers caressed the tip of Ryan’s nose out of nowhere, and he blinked as he saw him wink and stand from the bed, walking towards the bathroom without saying any other words.

He had never seen him act this way with anyone else but his girlfriend. Ryan wondered if he was this open with his closer friends, if Ryan could consider himself one of them now. 

Back then, he wondered so many things that it felt like a never ending game of 20 Questions.

**

When Ryan first admitted he was in love, Shane was single and drunk in New Orleans.

Each city they visited fell into their laps in a way he had never experienced before, like each place had been waiting for them. Ryan knew it was in part because they cheated shamelessly and chose places were they could visit other touristy ends, have a good dinner with the crew, and sleep well when they weren’t covered in webs and dust.

But New Orleans had magic in the air, on its people, and around each corner.

They had partied with their crew and for the first time, Ryan felt like they were going to be friends forever. He had known these people for years now, but that night, when that they cheered together and promised each other another year of spooks and bad mornings, he just knew. 

Warm beer had never tasted so good.

By the time they made it to their room, they were drowned in laughter, trying to carry each other to their respective beds. They ended laying together on Shane’s, laughing at their inability to stand and walk, drunk out of their minds with Ryan pretended touching Shane wasn’t making him combust on the spot.

He remembered little bisexual Ryan watching his crush play football in high school, how he thought Rod had looked so good under the sun and he would never like anyone else ever. Not the way he had liked Rodrigo that summer when he was fourteen. Time made him braver, steps were given, confessions were made, hearts were broken, and time kept going by.

Now he was looking at Shane, kind and brilliant Shane, who was always smiling and looking out for him. Who was very available now, bathed in neon blue light with his cheeks and nose red, eyes closed before they finally opened and looked at Ryan.

Ryan wished he could take a picture of this. The way Shane was looking at him like there wasn’t anywhere else in the world he wanted to be and no one else in his life he wanted to be with. It made his heart suddenly turn, find a home in his crush that was no longer just a crush.

It couldn’t be. Not when Ryan was sure he would bare himself to this man and reveal his deepest secrets if he wanted, when he would sacrifice everything in exchange for just having Shane’s happiness and he would be grateful. Just like that, he blinked tears away, and he was in love.

His lips parted, but no words were spoken. Shane just looked at him, into his eyes, for what felt like forever, until his eyes started to move around his face as he so often did. Ryan licked his lips and Shane’s eyes were on them immediately.

“I wanna kiss you, angel.”

“Uh, okay.”

“I won’t,” he said. Ryan frowned and felt his heart tense. “We’re drunk, I don’t want to spoil our first kiss like that.”

“Oh.” And just like that, his heart was beating fast. Happy. “I wouldn’t mind…”

“I would. Big time.” He smiled. “It has to be perfect, Ry.” Shane said, putting one hand on Ryan’s cheek. “Like you.”

He wanted to cry, instead he chuckled and watched as Shane fell asleep with his hand on his face. He wasn’t sure when he had succumbed to dreams, but he woke up to Shane gone, from the bed and their room, and the sun burning his eyes like tears.

**

“Here’s a new one.” Ryan said as they drove to the theater. “Ideally speaking…”

“Mhm.” Shane exclaimed, listening.

“How would you like to die?”

“Ugh, getting dark already and we haven’t even eat anything,” the man said, making both of them laugh as he waited for an answer. “I guess asleep, right? We all want that, the less trouble the better.”

“Just asleep?”

“Sure.”

“No old age? Just any time is fine, laid down on the bed and pggghhh– dead.”

“What the fuck was that? Pgggh?” Shane laughed, Ryan smiled as he finally saw the mall building and the slightly small line to enter the parking lot. “Oh man, you already know the answer. Old age is fine, though I’ve been feeling fifty since I was fifteen.”

The car filled with laughs, and they stayed in comfortable silence while Ryan looked around the lot to park. He sighed, reminded himself to be cool, he didn’t need to scare off Shane already on their first non-official date. He wanted to ask him if this movie thing was in fact a date, or if he had dreamed what happened in New Orleans.

But ever since that night, Shane had been especially attentive with him. And Ryan was no liar, he well loved the coffee in the morning, the good night texts, Shane’s jacket around his shoulders when they walked around like a pair of old men in the afternoon. 

Yet, he didn’t have the guts or the will to deal with the answer being no. Ryan reminded silent.

“My turn,” Shane said when Ryan finally parked, he nodded and waited for the question. “What would you like your last words to be?”

“Oh boy.” His eyebrows moved on its own, already thinking of the answer for such a hard question.

“‘Oh boy’?” Shane’s own eyebrows went high, Ryan shook his head and the man laughed. “What? Are you going to be, like, killed by aliens or something?”

“Why aliens? You are watching The X Files again, don’t you?” he frowned, killing the engine as he looked at Shane, whose eyes had closed and become moons as he giggled like a child. “Fuck, I should have never told you about my crush on Mulder.”

“You like spooky boy!” 

“Oh my god, I’m on ninth grade again…”

“I was totally your type in ninth grade, though. A giant nerd.” He answered, the comment made Ryan’s heart beat faster.

“Jesus, that would be like– illegal, you know?” He reminded him. “I was a tiny child, you were a teen and a half!”

“Oh!” Shane seemed to remember. “Holy shit, I’m older!” His hand went to his mouth, he shook his head no and looked at him. “Christ, I’m glad we met as adults. Jesus.”

Ryan smiled at him and sighed before going back to the actual subject they were discussing previous to their latest branch in the conversation. “I think… I don’t know, man. I try not to think of me dying, it gives me… anxiety and stuff.”

“Uh, anxiety and stuff.” Shane repeated. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I think I will have to think about this one for a while and then I’ll get back to you.”

Shane smiled at him. He had unfasted the safety belt but hadn’t made any move to get out of the car. They still had a few minutes to spare, so Ryan said nothing and waited.

“I would like my last words to be something positive,” Shane said, and Ryan nodded, trying not to think of a world were Shane wasn’t there. “‘Keep going.’ Something like that.”

Ryan smiled again, his heart was feeling trapped inside his chest and he didn’t like the sensation. There were walls around him, caging him in the deep, dark and cold sea. If he kept thinking about it, about Shane dying, he would–

“I guess leaving this world on a positive note would be good,” Ryan said, hoping Shane wouldn’t notice the anxiety this small conversation had already given him. “Let’s go, big guy. I want to buy us the biggest popcorn they allow us to.”

Shane chuckled, opening his door and following him into the darkness of the parking lot, the noise of the city and the people walking around in their own private worlds. They walked side by side, the silence a bit forced. Ryan licked his lips, thinking of small conversation before he felt warm fingers on his.

Looking down at his hand, he saw Shane’s own taking it like he did a year ago in Kansas. Back then, he hadn’t interlocked their fingers as he was doing now, and it made Ryan look up at him to find him staring nervously at nothing in particular, front and nowhere else.

Ryan smiled, giving Shane’s hand a gentle squeeze. The silence felt warm even when his friend was too tall to hold hands like normal people do.

Normal was something he didn’t dare to be ever since he left college. It wasn’t what Ryan was, he guessed. And with Shane, he was just real.

**

He wasn’t sure when one date became many. Ryan wasn’t about to question it, though, he sure as hell was more than happy to keep going with Shane everywhere. 

The man took his hand, let him put an arm around his waist or interlock his arm to Shane’s while walking, and it all felt natural, like if they had been destined to be like this since before they met.

When he got that sappy, Ryan knew he needed to kiss Shane soon and call him his boyfriend sooner. Time had been nice to them and it was time for that payoff he had been waiting since New Orleans earlier that year.

**

Little after they started to film season 3 of Supernatural, things changed.

The rain had caught them on their way to Shane’s apartment building after they had found parking on the side. 

After the movies, they had gone to dinner and argued about Shane paying more than Ryan had on the cinema earlier the day. Ryan had lost the argument for the time being, but it didn’t matter if it let him see Shane smile, make him look all smug and charming. 

When they entered the lobby, the desk guy gave them a once over and sighed, making them laugh again before Ryan put on his tiptoes and ruffled Shane’s hair, drops going in all directions and making things worse. But the man smiled at him, sweet and open, looking so young it only made Ryan wish they could have this forever, that he could enjoy this man as he was for the longest time.

He kept thinking of a life like this, in which they got together to the same place after a long day of work. Where they could leave their shoes behind the fridge to dry them and their wet clothes spread around the bathroom to then wear comfy pants and old t-shirts, share a cozy bed that smelled of Shane and his chocolate shampoo.

“I can take the cou–”

“Nope,” Shane told him, pushing him in the direction of his bedroom. 

He also had a spare room. None of them mentioned it either.

Shane’s room was a world of its own. Like the rest of his apartment, it had movie posters here and there, books and toys, collection worthy items of shows and films he loved, and his silent cat Obi in the corner, hidden on his Amazon box where Ryan couldn’t reach him.

“He’ll come along, don’t worry,” Shane told him, patting the space at his side on the bed. “I’m not gonna bite you, Ry.”

“Jesus.” Ryan laughed, feeling his cheeks warmth. Once on the bed, he saw Obi peek out the box to watch them settle under the sheets together. “He’s watching us…”

“He’ll come later and sleep over my head. Maybe yours!”

“Uh…” Ryan blinked, hoping the shot he got for his allergies last week worked as it should. “Let’s hope you don’t have to drive me to the hospital in the middle of the night.”

“I can take him out, it’s no problem,” Shane assured him, frowning at the thought of Ryan’s allergies reacting bad around him. 

Ryan smiled at him. “It’s okay,” he said. “First, I got that damn shot and it better work because it actually hurt like a motherfucker. Two, it’s been years since I last reacted badly to being exposed to cat hair, so I don’t think it will be bad. If so, just a few sneezes. I can take those sneezes.”

“Are you sure?” Shane asked, still very serious, and so very close to Ryan’s face.

“Yeah. This is his house, I’m the visitor,” he answered, giving the same thought he always has regarding his dogs. Shane smiled at him this time, taking his chin with his fingers. 

“Shane?”

“You’ll be a good stepfather,” he murmured, Ryan swallowed visibly but only nodded. Shane’s fingers moved, his palm now over Ryan’s cheek and he leaned into it, sharing a smile with Shane. “I got it now.”

“What?”

“‘Keep rolling.’” he said. Ryan frowned and moved his head a little, trying to understand what the man was talking about. “What I would like my last words to be.”

“Oh.”

“No, hear me out.” He laid down, making Ryan lay at his side. His hand was still on his face, fingers caressing his cheek lovingly. 

Ryan didn’t had the heart to tell him he didn’t like this conversation, that he had forgotten all about it in the months they had been getting this close and wasn’t looking forward to being anxious on Shane’s bed when it was his first time here. But Shane looked happy as they were, smiling at Ryan as he caressed his cheek gently.

“I either become the next David Fincher,” Ryan laughed at that, knowing exactly where this was going. “Or die by a demon’s paw on location, and you better keep rolling.”

“God, don’t say that!” Ryan begged, feeling his throat close like that time months ago when they had first gone out and talked about this. “I would never let you die on location. Or ever.”

“You are not gonna let me die?” Shane smiled, his thumb caressed Ryan’s skin with care. It made Ryan sigh. “Do you plan on keeping me forever, Bergara?”

If there was a double meaning to this, Ryan took it, nodding without finding his voice to say something else. Maybe something romantic, confess his feelings and how he had them for so long. Instead, Shane’s forehead leaned on his and they shared the same air, his warm breath making Ryan want to close his eyes and lean into those lips.

“I’ll stick with you, you know,” Shane said. Ryan nodded again and this time, he closed the distance between them.

Shane wanted a perfect kiss, he had told him that in New Orleans months ago. If the two of them smelling of rain and Shane’s aftershave, nested on his sheets as his cat purred somewhere on the pillows over their heads wasn’t the perfection he was looking for, then Ryan was willing to spend the rest of his life searching for it as long as it let him kiss those lips.

He softly moved against Shane’s mouth as the man moaned between them, parting his lips to deepen the kiss. Both his hands were now on Ryan’s face, cradling it gently as they kissed ever so slowly, almost scared of somehow ruining the other, like the other was a precious crystal to be kept untouched.

But they were free to touch each other, and Ryan’s hands were reminded of this as he sank his fingers into Shane’s hair while his other hand traveled down his back, and up again, until it went to his waist and held him there to never let him go.

Their lips made a wet sound when they went apart, Ryan’s eyes still closed, unable to come back to a reality where he wasn’t tasting Shane’s mouth. The man’s soft laugh made him finally open his eyes and find him staring back at Ryan with that spark in his eyes, the same one he had seen so many times before, that many people were noticing in their videos and their Instagram posts.

“I guess that’s a yes?” Shane murmured, Ryan chuckled and rolled his eyes, pecking his lips one, two and three times before kissing him long again, more passionate this time. “Such a good kisser, I knew you were gonna rock my boat.”

“Oh, I’m rocking it. I’m rocking it alright. All night if I can.”

Shane’s smile widened, his face getting pink. “Keep rolling, angel.”

**

If Ryan was dreaming, he better never woke up. 

The morning after he spent the night at Shane’s, he woke up before the man. He watched him sleep for a few seconds, having to get out bed when Obi kept looking at him as if judging him for being a creep. Ryan gave it to the cat, he was maybe being weird, but Shane looked so peaceful and content, it was hard to look away.

He used the bathroom, dressed up in Shane’s button down from last night and his own boxers, and left the room for the kitchen, Obi right behind him, meowing his gratefulness as he ran to the little home office where Ryan knew his scratcher was.

Obi scratched at his toy, the sound filling the apartment in the early morning of the best weekend of Ryan’s life, and he decided right then that he could get used to this and be happy forever.

What had started so long ago felt like it was coming to a friendly end, a thing that initiated something else. Ryan supposed his grandma was right, and every ending, happy or sad, is just a new beginning and this one had left him with purple and reddish marks on his neck, hand prints on his hips, beard burns where only he could see and feel, and a happy smile on his face.

He sighed, very much aware of how he knew Shane’s kitchen as if it were his own, how Shane liked his coffee and what kind of breakfast he liked to have. 

Today was going to be a great morning, no matter what.

**

Ryan never thought people would pick up on his closeness with Shane by such small things like saying– okay, yeah. Maybe that wasn’t so common, right? To know what your friend wanted his last words to be? He blinked a couple of times, scrolling down the comments section of their first ever Q & A video for their Unsolved episodes.

This had been one of Shane’s strokes of genius, a small video answering questions and comments for each video they got out on Friday. It wasn’t strange at all that management had liked the idea and greenlight it for them to film every Monday to go online on Wednesday.

Looking at the comments, wondering what people would say of their newest addition, Ryan never thought he would encounter praise for their friendship, “they really are that close”, and well. He arched an eyebrow. He would expect so, seeing this was the man he was sleeping with now.

“Stop doing that to yourself,” he heard at his side, Ryan turned to see Shane still driving, looking in front instead of him. “I see you, stop torturing yourself with the comments sections. That’s a strange place and you know it.”

“I just wanted to know what they thought of the Post Mortem thing.”

“You can tell the intern to have a look at that.” He smiled, looking at Ryan for a few seconds before turning his eyes to the road again. 

Ryan sighed, leaning his head on the window as he watched Shane drive, an unusual image that felt like some sort of dream to him. One that came true, he noted. His reality couldn’t be happier now, even if they weren’t ready to put it everywhere on social media yet.

“They say we’re really close.”

“Well, seeing we have dick appointments with each other, I would hope so.”

He chuckled, their laughs echoing in the car before they sank into comfortable silence. 

That day had been actually good. They had gotten the green light on their idea to go to England, have some episodes of Unsolved over there, and enjoy vacations after. It meant not only another step on their growing show, but a step in their relationship.

Vacations with Shane to another country, now that they were together… boy, maybe the fact that they were such good friends before getting into each other’s skin the way they had done was a good thing. It took off some of the initial doubts and awkwardness, let him dive into domesticity and couple life as soon as possible.

“We are really close,” Shane said while they waited on a red light. Ryan looked at him. The man smiled when he looked back. “I don’t think anyone knows me like you do.”

“Oh, come on…” he said with a huge grin, face feeling warm. “I already suck your cock, no need to say those things.”

Shane chuckled and shook his head. “You little shit, I mean it!”

Ryan laughed, leaving his phone aside and looking as Shane’s face turned bright, his happy expression ever so beautiful on him, and it made Ryan feel proud to know he had put that face on him. He sighed as Shane drove again, closer to his apartment now.

“Ry?” he called him. Ryan looked back and waited. “When was the last time you were in your apartment?”

His face felt warmer. If he hadn’t blushed before, he sure was now.

“I, I can take a Lyft–”

“No, no.” Shane looked at him for a couple of seconds, then back to the road. “In fact, you don’t have to go back anymore if you don’t want to.” He said, Ryan’s eyes opened wide. “You know?”

“Shane…”

“I’m saying, come live with me. Us.” He said, smiling at him when they stopped on another red light. “I’m sure Obi would love to have you there officially.”

Ryan blinked a couple of times, heart pounding in his chest as he thought of his initial question. When was the last time he was in his own apartment? He couldn’t even remember. And he didn’t have to.

Looking up at Shane, Ryan nodded with a big smile.

“I would love to, big guy.”

“Great!”

The light turned green, and they kept going, closer to home.

**

“I’m just saying, people know I love you,” Shane said and Ryan looked at him immediately, eyes wide open. But the man kept scrolling down his Twitter feed, distracted. “I don’t think it would be a bad idea for us to just… Get out there and say it.”

“Shane,”

“I guess neither of us are out of the closet online, but it’s not like if we have been hiding all this time. Have we?” He finally put the phone down, looking at Ryan with a frown.

He blinked a couple of times, watching Shane act like if he hadn’t just drop a bomb on them with such simple words. It wasn’t even the ‘coming out online’ shit that was about to give him a headache, but the copious amount of times Ryan was to overthink Shane confirming he loved him that had left him mute.

Shane arched an eyebrow, looking behind him, then back at Ryan who was still pretty much in shock. He left his phone of the coffee table and cradle Ryan’s face as he often did.

“Ry?”

“You, you said–”

The man blinked, unaware of what was going on. He seemed to be thinking about it, probably going through their previous conversation to understand why Ryan was so still, so into his head to even talk.

Shane’s eyes widened and he looked about ready to panic for just a few seconds, but it was all replaced with a huge grin and that shine in his eyes that melted Ryan in the spot.

“People do know I love you.”

Ryan’s face felt warm, he wondered what color he was blushing. Shane kept smiling at him, caressing his cheeks before kissing him softly, the cat purring somewhere on Ryan’s back, probably rolling his eyes at them being like this once again in his presence, right in front of his whiskas. 

He wanted to yell at himself, so easily distracted from the moment with every thought that passed his head, every sound outside their bubble. Ryan was nervous, Shane chuckled against his lips after he barely responded, probably aware he was just… so anxious for nothing.

“Do you know I love you?” Shane asked, his voice sounding so soft, it made Ryan swallow.

“I… I don’t know…  I do now?”

Shane chuckled again, this time getting closer to Ryan’s face to kiss his forehead. Shane hugged him, letting Ryan lean his head on his shoulder. The vibrations of his laugh made him look up, clearing his throat before cradling Shane’s face. 

The man smiled at him.

“I love you,” Ryan murmured. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Mmm.” The man smiled. “I know.”

Ryan laughed, he could easily slap Shane for Han Solo-ing him, but there was just– his eyes and the way he was kissing him, how far they had come. Ryan kissed him softly, deepening the kiss as soon as he could, pushing the man to lay into the couch with him on top.

“Scoundrel.” 

Shane smiled, pecking his lips once before finally, finally saying: “I love you too, sweetheart.”

**

If you asked Ryan, things started in the Sallie House.

That night, his attraction to Shane made itself notice in the way Ryan’s heart kept beating fast as the man held his hand between them, laying on the floor as he tried to sleep again. He had taken the footage from the final cut of the video, never spoke about it with the man until years later, when they were more than friends and had started to live together.

Watching it now, how young they were and how much was ahead, it made him smile.

“We were so fucking obvious, holy shit.” Shane murmured at his side, looking through cut footage from many episodes of their show. “You think people will be like ‘we been knew’ when they see this?”

“I think half of the internet already has, Shane.” He conceded. It had been a hilarious couple of years with fans and homophobes alike saying the weirdest, sometimes amazing things on their every platform. “But I think it’s time, don’t you?”

“Ryan, why did you never tell me that you can see my hard on during Goatman’s Bridge?” Shane asked instead, serious with a shine in his eyes that made Ryan’s whole body shiver. “This is the kind of cut shit you should show me more often, angel.”

“You are into such weird shit…” Including him, Ryan wanted to add. Ryan bit his bottom lip, waiting for Shane to answer.

When it didn’t come, he looked up from the tiny video they were doing to “officially” announce their relationship. Shane wasn’t on his side of the bed, and when Ryan looked around to find him, the man had taken away his laptop and tugged at his heels to get him under his body.

“What are you doing, you weirdo?” Ryan asked between laughs, Shane winked at him.

“You know what else is mine aside from that bridge?”

“Oh my God. No, no, get out! We have work to do!”

“You.” He smirked. “You are mine, baby. Until death do us apart. And maaaaybe beyond, right? If your faith can guide us there.”

He felt his cheeks blush, Shane’s smile was too sweet for someone who was about to bone his boyfriend a second time that day. Ryan rolled his eyes, smiling at him when Shane brushed his crotch with his, already getting hard in his pants. 

“You are so fucking corny.” 

“Horny, baby. Horny.”

If you asked Ryan, this was the start of the golden years of their lives together.

***

**

*

[artemismoon12writes]

Title: Gradients

Daltonfic Big Bang 2020: Week 2, Day 2: Soulmate AU “When was the last time you saw grey?” 

 “When was the last time you saw grey?”

The question took Dwight by surprise. For as long as he could remember, he’d seen in shades of grey. Grey skies with grey clouds; grey houses lining grey streets; grey trees, with grey shadows, underneath which his friend sketched a grey picture. He had known there was colour, his Uncle described it all in lurid details- the blues, the greens, the golds. Dwight knew if he had a favourite colour, maybe it would be red? Or purple? They seemed to have all the good things.

“You said I should use the other one. Dwight, green and red look the same in grey.” His hesitancy gave way to excitement, “This is amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

Reed had been making a still life for art class; Dwight beside him trying not to mess up on his own project. Dwight took a look at the pastels between the two of them; none of them were grey. They hadn’t been grey for ages; but Dwight hadn’t noticed. Muted purples in with a pale green, cut with shades of yellow and peach; Reed’s hands were covered in colours Dwight wouldn’t have been able to distinguish when he was a kid. But today, he could pick out the yellow against Reed’s blazer. When had that happened?

“You met your soulmate!” Reed almost sprang up, but hit his head on the tree trunk. Dwight caught his stumbling friend.

“I must have.” Dwight said cautiously.  

“Must have? You can see colours! I was so overwhelmed when it happened. It was just boom!” Reed gestured, his hands wild. “It was like, bye greyscale. How can you just guess?”

“I don’t know when it happened.” Dwight admitted, staring around them at Dalton’s grounds. He hadn’t noticed. How had he not noticed every fleck and gleam of colour around him? Had it snuck up on him? Every single story he had heard of soulmates described the rush of colour, flooding your vision as you met them, your soulmate. He’d even looked forward to it; he’d wanted to know who it was, the exact moment he’d found that person who would understand him like no one else.

Reed cut through his thoughts. “What do you mean, you don’t know? It’s, it changes everything? I mean, I didn’t think I’d find mine so early, but god Shane practically fainted when he saw colour. I get you may have wanted to keep it private, but, I can tell you the second it happened.”

“I didn’t notice.” Dwight admitted.

He hadn’t noticed. Oh god he hadn’t noticed. What kind of soulmate was he?

“So, you don’t even know who it is?” It dawned on Reed, with a soft look of pity. Dwight didn’t want that. Not from his friend.

“I, I have to go.”

Now that he was aware of it, Dwight couldn’t unsee it. Even his own clothes, purchased by his mother specifically so her son would never look like a mess; black came in so many shades. The shirt was slightly purple, a black verging on green, and grey laces that looked blue in comparison to that grey he had just assumed everything was.

How had he not seen it? When did it change? What changed? Who?

Who was it? Who was it that brightened a world without him even realizing it? No. He couldn’t have one. Not like this.

God it was a trick. It had to be. Some creature that could make it seem like he could see colours. He couldn’t have met his soulmate yet. They’d have mentioned it. It had to be like, a demon, or a fae- oh god what had he done to piss off a fae? Where was his iron? Where was the salt?

His jog turned into a run, scared as he hopped a hedge back to Windsor’s back door. He had to get to safety. There was something out there. His instincts must be so dulled from this spell. What else were they making him see? What else were they trying to fool him into believing?

The inside of Windsor was blue. So blue it hurt his eyes. He had to have noticed how blue it was. It was like a paint bomb went off. Maybe it did and it was another thing he didn’t notice- or was noticing only because of the fae. Shit. Shit!

Dwight sprayed his hand with holy water. Did that help? He threw some of the rock salt from his pocket over his shoulder. That didn’t help either. The rest of his supplies were in his room. He’d be safe there until he could figure this out.

Without a doubt, Dwight knew the world was grey that summer. Sadie’s tears, Lucas’s freckled arms, Morgan’s glasses- all stoney, clear grey when they enveloped him into the warmest hug when he made it back to them alive. Sadie had brushed his hair back, kissing his cheek. Lucas kept holding him when Morgan rambled on, more than he’d ever heard him speak at once. He couldn’t imagine what colours they all were. They’d been grey. What changed?

The stairs flew by, two at a time in a blur of blue and brown. He almost tripped staring at the colours beneath his feet. Why were things they walked on so bright? Who decided to make it all so loud and distracting?

David nearly slammed into him, Dwight had to throw himself against the wall before he bowled the other boy over. He could hear Wes yelling things at him as he rolled and continued; he had to get back to the room. He could figure things out back there. It was safe there.

Padlocks. He had padlocks. Oh iron ones even! Thank you Morgan, you mad genius. The door was unlocked when he got there, but he got to work immediately, diving into the closet to grab the box of locks and incense (labelled by creature it repelled). The lighter was out of his pocket as he started to wrestle with the bolts- no- no wait.

“Hi, what’s wrong this time?” Todd asked from behind him, barely fazed by the armful of supplies. He was leaning back on his chair- his… his grey chair.

“Was that chair always grey?” Dwight asked cautiously.  

Todd caught where he was staring, gaze travelling down then back up to Dwight. He couldn’t interpret what his roommate was thinking. He couldn’t usually though.

“Yes it was. I thought it looked good.”

“So you can see colour?” Dwight asked, clutching the padlocks to his chest. His hands were shaking. Maybe Todd could help. He could help him figure this all out.

Todd nodded slowly, expression unreadable. “For a while now.”

Dwight held his thoughts together. Okay. Okay. Padlocks first. Got to get this figured out. Todd already had a soulmate. Good. Maybe they’d be able to help break this curse. A tricky fae was the last thing he needed right now.

He felt Todd’s eyes on his back as he bolted the door closed. He took the lack of argument as acceptance they’d be locked in at least for the rest of the night. He had told his roommate to keep a supply of food in case of emergencies; he could only hope out of all the advice he’d given Todd, this would have stuck. He felt like he was the only one trying to keep people safe here. His advice wasn’t annoying! It was practical.

“Nails?” Todd asked, opening the window to disperse the strong smell of incense. It was fine for it to go outside; let the fae know he would not be intimidated.

Dwight turned, the iron nails nearly all lined up at the foot of the door. “I think a fae’s cursed me.”

“Really?” Todd sat back down. The window helped, but there was no crosswind to help it along. The writer’s expression was pensive. Dwight assumed that meant explain.

“Yeah.” Dwight set the last nail in place, lining the whole thing with salt. He was nearly out of his supply. Oh what a time! “I can see colours. I think a fae is messing with my perceptions; its either that or a demon, but a demon would have clearer motives.”

“You found your soulmate?” Todd sounded worried.

“No.” Dwight said firmly, standing up and closing the door to the closet. “They’re messing with my mind. I would know if I met them; I wouldn’t just, not?”

The last bit was bitter in his mouth. Because what if he didn’t? No! Besides, the only new people he’d met that term were the freshmen. And they all treated him the same as any other upperclassmen. You’d think if it was one of them the gossip would have spread. They were the worst secret keepers ever. Not a single prank on Stuart had gone right since they started babbling to anyone who’d listen. It was a trick. A nasty trick.

“So it just happened today?” Todd asked.

Dwight shook his head. “I can’t remember when it started. But, I know for sure when I was home in the summer it was all grey.”

“Huh.” Todd said, arms slumped over the armrests of his chair. “Weird.”

Dwight looked around the room; chair aside, everything was still kind of grey in the room. His own side was more colourful than Todd’s for godssake or else he’d suddenly think the curse had lifted. He could see the brightness of the plaid on his Supernatural poster; the jewel colours of his books; the little rainbows that the crystals threw from the daylight on them. Todd’s side in contrast was dull; muted hues with barely a shade to them. Maybe he’d just not changed it up since he found his soulmate; but, he’d had this stuff for ages. Morgan always vowed he’d dress like a clown as soon as he found his soulmate- why only use greys if you could appreciate so much more?  

He heard himself speaking, “When did you start seeing in colour?”

Todd smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were a hazel-green. He’d known that. How did he know that? “That’s a rather personal question, don’t you think?”

“I’m trying to figure it out.” Dwight said, sitting down on his bed with the incense burner, holding it out like the teak would protect him. “Everyone says you see your soulmate, and everything is suddenly focused. That’s how it was for Reed and Shane- they knew right away.”

“It’s a little more complex than that.” Todd said, turning back to his laptop.

“Are you talking about broken connections?” Dwight asked. He’d heard about one-way connections. People shrieking in delight as colour flooded their vision, only to have the other stare at them confused. That had happened to his Uncle Ford. He’d gotten over it, but there was a reason he’d never married. There were a lot of exceptions, like three-way connections, potential connections, or the complication of natural colour-blindness; but his mother said he would never have to worry about it because he and his soulmate would know the moment they laid eyes on each other. But, a broken connection… did that happen to Todd?

“Maybe.” Todd admitted. “It might have happened to you.”

“I’m under a curse. At least since the start of term.” He said, pensive over the possible fae candidates.

“Then I’ve been under a curse since freshman year.” Todd said, starting to type; like he wasn’t really interested in the conversation. He couldn’t hide the regret in his voice, creeping through the nonchalance. “I saw… I saw him when he arrived at Windsor, and I have to say I didn’t expect it. But, well, even after getting to know him he still saw grey.”

“Who was it? Do I have to kick their ass?” Dwight sprang up, “I bet they’re the fae! No way you don’t have a two-way bond! You’re awesome!”

Todd paused, looking away. “Yeah, no. I don’t think it’s them.”

“Well then, I’ll get Sadie to curse them! Or I’ll find the real fae; they’re probably holding your soulmate’s colour hostage.” Dwight declared. “It’s probably something like that.”

Todd shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve got everything under control. I’ve got these contacts; they make it all-”

“No! It’s not fair.” Dwight knelt down next to Todd’s desk. “Whoever is doing this to you, I promise I’ll figure it out. Because I refuse to believe you have a broken connection. It’s not right! You deserve someone who cares about you; who gets you like a soulmate is supposed to. That’s the whole point! So whenever you’re lonely, there’s someone you can go to. Or whenever you’re happy, there’s someone who can make you laugh even louder. Or whenever you’re scared, they’re there to make you feel brave. And like, you do that all for me and you’re just my roommate- whoever they are, they’re missing out!”

Todd stared at him. “You’re an idiot.”

“What?” What. What?

Todd looked between mad and frustrated, raising his hands from the keyboard before closing the lid. “Just, ah, just leave me alone okay? I don’t want to talk about it. If you’re convinced this is a fae, you have Trinny’s email. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-”

“I don’t want to talk!” Todd snapped, grabbing his laptop and going into the washroom. “If you want to pee, go out the window for all I care.”

The lock clicked. Dwight looked between the open window and the two locked doors. What had he said?

No matter. He had a fae to hunt. Whoever Todd’s soulmate was, he would have to wait to put them on Sadie’s curse list until after he got the colour out of his eyes. He took another look at the greys of Todd’s side, a soothing balm of soft colourlessness in the confusion; it really was almost like he could see greys again; remember any loneliness was not permanent. He’d find his real soulmate, and so would Todd. He was sure of it.

[probably-eating-poptarts]

His Cherokee Rose - Ch. 3

Here’s the second half of your BOGO deal! <3 Enjoy!

Part One | Part Two

Read on AO3 here

Word count: 3k

The next morning dawns quiet and somber. After the battle most of the survivors didn't even have the strength to move the dead that littered the ground, and instead slept fitfully for a few hours until the sun rose over the tops of the trees. Rory wakes before Carl, and she squirms her way out of the pallet they'd shared to exit the tent. Those left alive are mulling around the clearing, laying blows to the heads of the corpses and preparing to clear away the carnage, and she sets about to help. Her dad is nowhere to be seen, but she watches her mom kneel next to the blond woman who still holds vigil over the body of her companion. She stays there for a moment, murmuring quietly, and then rolls back to her feet to depart with a pat on the mourning woman's shoulder.

Nearby Glenn, T-Dog, and Daryl are busy piling the walkers into a pyre, and Rory finally sees her dad reentering the camp as she moves to her mother's side. The pair take a seat with Carol next to the campfire.

"Who are all these people?" she questions. "I already met those three -" she motions towards the trio she'd been with in Atlanta, "-but I don't know anyone else besides Miss Carol and Sophia."

Lori points out each individual to her daughter: Dale, the older white-haired man who greets her warmly; Andrea, who still holds vigil over her fallen sister Amy; Jacqui; Jim; Morales and his family.

"We all met up with Dale's group shortly after you… Disappeared," she summarizes, pulling her oldest child close. "Shane wanted to look for you so badly, but things were chaotic. We thought the worst when we couldn't find you."

Rory tells her mom about falling into the ravine, and her rescue in the city by Felipe and Jorge. About living with Guillermo's crew and the old folks at the center. And about reuniting with her father after Glenn's capture.

As she finishes, her dad speaks to Dale about Andrea.

"She still won't move?"

"She won't even talk to us," Lori answers. "She's been there all night. What do we do?"

"Can't just leave Amy like that," Shane speaks up from across the fire pit. "We need to deal with it same as the others.

Rory sees her father nod in agreement. "I'll tell her how it is."

He strides over to Andrea, calling her name softly, but is stopped in his tracks when the woman levels the barrel of a gun at him. She says she knows how the safety works. Rory tenses, ready to go to her father's aide if needed, but he wisely backs away with an apology.

"Y'all can't be serious," Daryl quips as he joins the group, slinging his pickaxe over one shoulder. "Let that girl hamstring us? The dead girl's a time bomb."

"What do you suggest?" Rick questions.

"Take the shot! Clean, in the brain, from here." Daryl places two fingers against his temple. "Hell, I can hit a turkey between the eyes from this distance."

"No!" Rory interjects harshly. "For God's sake, let her be!"

Both Shane and her parents remain silent, noncommittal in the wake of her outburst, but Daryl glares at them each in turn before walking away with a scoff. He strides past Jim, telling him they have work to do, and assists Morales with the next body. The corpse they begin hauling towards the pyre must have been another member of their group, because Rory watches Glenn become upset as the pair attempt to dispose of his body with the rest of the walkers.

"This is for geeks! Our people go over there!"

"What's the difference?" Daryl snarks in reply. "They're all infected."

"Our people go in that row over there," the Asian boy insists. "We don't burn them! We bury them. Understand?"

Daryl and Morales bend over to grip the body under the arms, and he repeats once more, "Our people go in that row over there."

"You reap what you sow!" Daryl suddenly hollers, ignoring Morales as he tells the redneck to shut up and releasing his hold on the dead man. "Y'all left my brother for dead. You had this coming!" He stalks away angrily, heading for the treeline, and Rory looks to her mom in confusion. As the rest of their group continues working, Lori quickly tells her daughter about Merle's unfortunate venture into the city where they first found Rick. How he'd been handcuffed to the roof for attacking T-Dog, and how they'd been chased out by walkers and forced to leave Daryl's big brother behind.

"When they ran into you, they'd originally gone back for Merle, but somehow he managed to escape the cuffs. I guess they never did find him."

Rory watches Daryl as he lurks at the edge of the camp, skulking and muttering curses under his breath, while her mother talks. She can easily imagine the family resemblance, with matching rough exteriors and volatile tempers, but at the same time she can understand how agonizing it is to lose a sibling.

Rising from her seat, she rubs her mother's shoulder comfortingly before braving Daryl Dixon's wrath.

"I'm sorry about your brother," she tells him as she pauses nearby, arms crossed over her abdomen in an instinctively protective stance.

"What the hell you know about my brother?" Daryl spits in response, leveling her with an icy stare.

"I know how tough it is to be separated from them, and you don't know if they're alive or dead."

"You don't know shit as far as I'm concerned, little girl. Why don't you run on back to your Mama before she catches you over here with the likes o' me?"

"I'm not a little girl," Rory retorts. "And I can talk to whoever I please. But if you're gonna be an asshole, then forget it."

"I'm pretty sure I don't give a shit, little girl. Now get the hell outta my sight, I ain't got nothin' to say to you."

She turns to stomp off in aggravation, but doesn't make it far before she hears Jacqui panicking.

"A walker got him. A walker bit Jim!"

The group moves quickly to surround the sweating man, who insists that he's okay, but the tension is rising.

"Show it to us," Daryl demands, brandishing his pickax.

Frightened, Jim snatches a shovel from the ground to defend himself. Rory tries to help calm everyone, working with Shane to keep the tenuous peace, but Daryl and T-Dog circle like wolves, fierce and ready to pounce. Daryl is yelling over and over, "Grab him!", and T-Dog edges in behind the panicked man before wrapping his burly arms across his shoulders, knocking the shovel from his grasp as he restrains him.

"I'm okay, I'm okay!" Jim insists pleadingly as Daryl yanks his t-shirt up, exposing the weeping, infected bite wound on his rib cage. The men release him instantly, moving away as he continues to murmur repeatedly beneath his breath, and everyone stands in a silent circle around him as he pants and sweats.

Eventually Rick moves to steer Jim to the trailer hitch of the Winnebago, sitting him down before rejoining the others in discussion.

"I say we put a pickax in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," Daryl insists.

"Is that what you want?" Shane replies. "If it were you?"

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it."

Dale speaks up, "I hate to say it, I never thought I would - But maybe Daryl's right."

"Jim's not a monster, Dale," Rick snaps. "Or some rabid dog."

"I'm not suggesting-"

"He's sick," Rory's father says over the older man. "A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?"

"The line's pretty clear," Daryl interjects. "Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be."

"What if we can get him help? I heard the C.D.C was working on a cure."

"I heard that too," Shane answers his old friend. "Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell."

"What if the C.D.C is still up and running?" Rick pushes.

"Man, that is a stretch right there," the deputy replies.

"Why? If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the C.D.C at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection-"

"Okay, Rick, you want those things, all right?" Shane interrupts. "I do too, okay? Now if they exist, they're at the Army base. Fort Benning."

"That's a hundred miles in the opposite direction," Lori finally says.

"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. Now listen to me, if that place is operational, it'll be heavily armed. We'd be safe there."

"The military were on the front lines of this thing," Rick argues. "They got overrun. We've all seen that. The C.D.C. is our best choice and Jim's only chance."

Rory, standing beside Carol, sees Daryl glance over his shoulder to where Jim sits in the shade of the Winnebago.

"You go lookin' for Aspirin," he quips, turning his back on the group as he speaks. "Do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!"

He lunges for Jim, but Rory throws herself between the pair just as the hunter readies himself to swing the pickaxe he'd had propped on his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Rory's father hollers, leveling the barrel of his revolver at the back of Daryl's head and cocking the hammer. "We don't kill the living."

After a moment's hesitation Daryl lowers his weapon.

"That's funny, coming from a man who just put a gun to my head."

"You put a single scratch on my daughter, and I may reconsider in your case."

"We may disagree on some things," Shane adds as he insinuates himself between Daryl and the younger girl. "But not on this. You put it down. Go on."

With a sour look he slams the pickax into the dirt. "She's the one stupid enough to get in my way," he mutters as he stomps away. "Ain't my fault she don't have a lick of sense in that pretty head o' hers."

"Well fuck you too," Rory snaps at his retreating back while her dad pulls Jim gently to his feet.

"Where are you taking me?" he questions fearfully.

"Somewhere safe," Rick answers. As the pair pass Rory, he pins her with a glare. "And you need to go to your mother. Now."

The younger girl huffs before obeying her father's command, and trudges back towards Lori where she stands scowling at her with an expression even more fierce than her husband's.

"I lost you once, Rory. I will not lose you again. What were you thinking?!"

"I knew he wouldn't do it," she grumbles to her mom. "Dumb hillbilly."

"Daryl is the one person you shouldn't rile up, baby. He may not be as bad as Merle was, but he's still dangerous."

"Mom, I'm not scared of him! He walks around like he owns this damn place. Maybe someone just needs to knock some manners into him for once."

"Watch your mouth, young lady," Lori warns, but that ire has faded from her voice. "You'll end up just like your father at this rate."

The two girls share a chuckle and Lori wraps her arm over her daughter's shoulders before asking her to go sit with the younger kids.

"Keep 'em occupied for a while so we can get the rest of this cleaned up, okay?"

Rory nods in agreement and wanders towards the tents, pausing only when she passes Daryl and Carol as they stand over Ed's mutilated corpse. She sees Daryl hand over the pickaxe, and watches on with a bit of smug satisfaction as the meek older woman splits her abusive husband's head in like a rotten melon.

A little while later, as she helps little Sophia draw a horse on some scrap paper, a single gunshot tears through the relative silence of the camp.

.

..

…

..

.

Rory grows restless very quickly, and leaves the kids with Morales' wife Miranda when she shows up with a load of clean laundry. She wants to help, and sees her chance as she finds Daryl loading up the last body into the bed of an old Ford pickup. Skirting past the rest of the group as they mull around the campfire pit on the other side of the clearing, she approaches the younger Dixon brother.

"Is my dad up on the hill with Shane digging graves?" she asks him.

"Yeah."

"I'm coming with you, then."

"Like hell you are!" Daryl snaps. "You can walk with the rest of 'em."

With a sly glance Rory leaves him to finish his task, sneaking instead towards the truck's cab. By the time Daryl hauls himself into the driver seat, she's already situated herself in the passenger side.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he demands.

"I told you," she replies. "I'm riding with you."

"Get the fuck out of here, before I make you."

She cocks a brow and folds her arms across her abdomen stubbornly. "No."

He growls in frustration, fuming silently as he debates how much of a scene it would cause to forcibly drag her out of the truck kicking and screaming, and then twists the key in the ignition with much more force than necessary. The younger girl smirks triumphantly and buckles her seat belt just in time as her grouchy new companion stomps on the accelerator.

The drive up the ridge is silent and tense. Daryl makes no effort to keep his displeasure a secret, and Rory begins to second-guess her rash decision. Maybe her mother was right, and she shouldn't keep trying to poke the proverbial bear.

Lost in her thoughts, she doesn't notice when they crest the ridge. Daryl pulls the Ford off the road, and then pushes the gearshift into reverse.

But her head does shoot up when he turns his upper body around to look out the back window, laying his arm across the back of the bench seat. His limbs are so long that his hand brushes against Rory's shoulder, and she stares pointedly at him.

"Don't go getting' no ideas, little girl," he tells her as he continues to look out the rear window to guide the truck back onto the road. "I'm easily twice your age."

"I don't think age really matters during the apocalypse," she replies.

"What, you hittin' on me now? Not sure how well the Sheriff will take to that."

The vehicle slows to a stop, and Daryl gives Rory an obvious once-over as he parks.

"In your dreams, hillbilly," she quips before popping open her door and hopping out. He follows close behind, shaking his head with exasperation.

"I still think it's a mistake," Daryl tells Rick as the pair approach the two men still finishing the final graves. "Not burning these bodies. It's what we said we'd do, right?"

As he continues speaking, Rory turns to see the rest of the group walking up the path to join them.

"Burn 'em all, wasn't that the idea?"

"At first," Shane answers.

Daryl is less than pleased. "The Chinaman gets all emotional, says it's not the thing to do, and we just follow him along? These people need to know who the hell's in charge here; what the rules are."

"There are no rules," Rick says as everyone else finally reaches the top of the hill.

"Well that's a problem," his wife answers. Rory turns to look at her mother, wisely keeping her mouth shut. Being one of the newest members of this group, she knows her say won't hold much weight in a discussion like this. She listens, but makes no effort to join in the conversation.

"We haven't had one minute to hold onto anything of our old selves," Lori continues. "We need time to mourn, and we need to bury our dead. It's what people do."

No one seems to have any response to her words, and so instead they move to begin the ramshackle funeral. One after the other the bodies are laid to rest, until only Amy remains. Andrea refuses any offers for assistance, fussing at Dale each time he moves to help her, as everyone else stands off to the side in silence. Rory leans into her father's side when he drapes his arm across her shoulders, and holds her little brother's hand from where he stands within the circle of their mother's embrace. They watch on in somber silence while Andrea carefully places her sister's body within its grave, and after the men pile the soil back into their holes the group moves as a single unit back towards camp.

"Burying other people is bad enough," Rick murmurs to his wife as they trail at the end of the procession. "But the thought of one of us-"

Lori shushes him immediately, tugging Carl to a stop as the others continue on.

"Are we safe now, Dad?" the youngest Grimes child questions innocently. "Now that we're together?"

Rory watches her father kneel before her little brother.

"I won't leave again," Rick tells him. "I promise you that. Not for anything."

Carl nods with a sniffle, and manages a tiny smile.

"Now give me a chance to discuss some things with your mom, okay? Can you go with Rory back to camp?" Rick looks between his two children, who both nod before Rory takes Carl's hand to lead him on down the hill. She hears the mention of Shane's name before they're out of earshot, and it makes her wonder what's been going on during her absence.

[islareeveswriting]

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Harry sighed and picked up the pen.

“Can’t hurt,” He whispered to himself, remembering Molly’s words as he sat at his kitchen worktop and stared at the scrap of paper he’d managed to find, probably out of Molly’s notebook from where she’d been working there before. The kitchen was dark, only the spotlights of the extractor hood to light up the space, and it stunk of the brand new candle he had lit, musky and unassuming, barely noticeable if he didn’t think about it too much. He had a glass of red wine on the go, he could taste his last mouthful still on his tongue, but he took another sip nonetheless before he started, licking his lips of the residue.

Mum,

His hand was scratchy, barely legible. He hadn’t written properly in years, he had no need to. Little notes here and there, a scrawl in his diary at work so he knew who to invoice at the end of the week, but other than that nothing, and it showed. For a second he thought about letting it put him off the idea. If no one would be able to read it anyway, what was the point. But he knew the point wasn’t for anyone to necessarily read it, just for him to write it. So he continued.

It’s been ten years

Harry scribbled that out, she knew how long it had been, so did he, he mapped his life out by it. Ten years since his mum had left him at his nans without so much as a goodbye, eight since he’d broken Liam’s collar bone, five since he was stabbed in the leg, two since he got Ellie pregnant. It was nearly eleven now really. Lola was nearly three. A three year old grandchild his mother would never know about.

You broke me, did you mean to? Is it payback for Ida, making sure I feel this way? Nan says you just couldn’t cope after Ida, and I get that, but you didn’t have to say the things you said to me, and you didn’t have to lean on me like you did. I was so young. You were selfish. I was the one who found her like that, at least you didn’t have to see that, at least the last time you saw her face it wasn’t covered in blood so you could barely even see her skin.

It was pouring out of him then, words he didn’t know he had inside him, the anger flowing through the pen out of him. It felt addictively good. He had no idea he had so many thoughts and feelings about any of it. He thought he was just angry. It was far more than that.

I’m angry all the time, I’d like to blame it on you, but I don’t want to give you even that much credit. I don’t want you to be that important to me. It’s shit that you are that important, that even after all this time you still have that much effect on me. I can barely remember Ida’s eyes sometimes, struggle to hear her voice, but your eyes I see just fine, your voice is loud and clear. Why is that? It’s cruel. You never even asked me how I was after, you never asked how I was doing, if I was ok, if I wanted to talk to you or anyone, you told the school I’d be fine. I wasn’t fine, far from fine, I don’t know if I’ll ever be fine. I thought I’d come to terms with that but I’m not so sure.

Just OK had always been enough for Harry, he didn’t crave fantastic, or marvellous, or perfect, just ok was fine for him. If he wasn’t striving for it to be better, he wasn’t disappointed. Now he wanted it better, he wanted it perfect, he’d had a taste and he liked it. It looked like a girl that accepted his flaws, that helped him accept them too. It looked like a tribe of friends that held him higher than he held himself, and a little girl he could teach things he’d never been taught. To be who she was, and be happy with that, and love herself as fiercely and wildly as she loved anyone else.

For a long time I wanted you to come back, you just needed a break you’d say in my head when I imagined it happening. Now I don’t want you back. I don’t want you to walk back in and poison what I’ve got. You’ve done enough of that just living in my head. I know it’s not all your fault, I chose to do the things I did and say the things I said, you didn’t take my free will from me. But I suppose when the only person in the world who is meant to love you unconditionally regardless, tells you you’re a waste of space, hates you for breathing, for something you didn’t do, you start to despise yourself enough to not care about how damaging what you’re doing is. I never hated myself, I was just indifferent to myself, I didn’t matter. I don’t matter so who cares if someone wants to beat me half to death, who cares if people hate me, who cares if I say something that makes someone want to knock me out. Doesn’t matter.

It had taken twenty five years for Harry to realise life could mend him just as easily as it could break him, if he let it. If he let himself heal, instead of letting the wounds fester, things could be good, not just one or two nice things, everything could be good. There’d always been good in his life, but he’d kept the bad alive too, letting it simmer in the background of everything, a constant reminder everything was always a flame away from boiling over. And he always let it.

I don’t want to tell you her name, because I don’t want you in that part of my life, but since I’m not letting you have that control anymore, I want to tell you all about her, and how wonderful she is. Part of me wishes you could meet her, know the woman who taught me to love myself a little more, and open up a little more, and not be ashamed. I don’t know how she did it in six months or whatever it’s been, it feels like forever and five minutes all at the same time, it’s magic I swear it. Is this turning into a love letter? Who cares? Better that than a long list of all the ways you managed to fuck me up. I’m not perfect, I’ll never be perfect, I’ve still got so much work to do on myself, but I swear I think Molly, my Lolly, might be perfect, and she somehow, god knows how she does it, make me feel pretty close too.

There was a lot of Harry to dislike. There were so many parts of himself he hated, too many to even list. But he loved that he had Molly, and he loved that he knew he’d do anything to keep her happy and keep her with him, for her to always be his. He wasn’t ready to ask her for it yet, he needed a little longer to figure out the right words, and he wanted her to be sure she’d made the right choice in choosing him again. All he wanted to do was prove to her that she meant more to him than any of the other stuff, that she was all that mattered, that she was the most important thing to him. Of course he had Lola, but that was different. With Lola it was built into him, to care for her and love her, it came as natural as breathing to want to fight for her. He thought it was the same with Molly, but the past week or so had shown him how crafted it was, how much work it was to love and be loved, and that was what made it so special and so worth fighting for.

She makes me nervous in the best way, but I trust her with everything. I never want to let her down. I only want her to be happy. I want to make her happy too, and help her find all the things that make her happy. I always thought it was wrong to feel the things I felt, she showed me it was natural. I could really gush about her and part of me wants to, but I won’t. I just want you to know I’m finally happy, or at least working on my happiness, feeding that rather than the anger inside me. It feels better. I can feel myself changing and I like it. People will say I shouldn't give her so much credit, she’d say it too, it was when she came along that I went back to that place fully, but it was also when she came along that I realised how much I needed to do something about it. I never regretted it before, I thought it made me powerful, but since Molly whenever I went there I felt weak and I always felt sick about it.

It made him feel awful that even after the promise he’d made to Ellie he’d had thoughts about going back, whenever he gave Lola back actually, and she outstretched her arms for Shane and called him Daddy. It made it sound like Lola wasn’t enough. But that wasn’t the case. Having Lola in his life was enough, but when she wasn’t there it hurt enough to make him want to cry, and so often when he wanted to cry, it turned to anger. It was a vicious circle.

I could go on about her forever, but I won’t. Nothing hurts more than being hurt by the person you thought would never hurt you. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to make your mistakes, it’s taken time, and I’ve done it the hard way, but I’ve learned to never let it get that far again. I don’t want to play it safe, I don’t want to find it hard to trust those I love, I don’t want to feel afraid. So I’m not going to. I hope you’re happy with the choices you made mum, I suppose you are otherwise you’d have come back.

Harry swallowed then on nothing, and stared at the paper for a few seconds, clearing his throat of nothing but the lump that had formed.

I’m going to take my turn to be happy now, and I don’t need to ask your permission for that. I haven’t done anything to be as angry as I am at life, you just made me think I had. I was doing ok until you made me feel like I’d murdered my own sister. I’m moving on from you, you don’t get this power over me anymore, I don’t want your voice or your eyes in my head so I’m letting you go. I hope you’ve had a nice life, but that’s it from me.

Harry.

The breath Harry had been holding as he scrawled frantically through the last lines of his letter, came out shaky and uneven. He folded it over, not wanting to read over what he’d written. It was honest and truthful, he didn’t need to edit his for feelings for anyone's convenience.

“You ok?” Harry turned on the stool to Molly, hair wrapped up in a  fluffy white towel, her lips and cheeks puffy from the heat of her bath and her skin glowing from her moisturiser. She was wearing his dressing gown. It was too big, and even though it was tied tightly at her waist, the fabric continued to slip off her shoulder exposing the milky, freckled skin underneath. Harry just nodded, a little taken back for a few seconds.

“How was your bath?” He asked at last, as she padded closer. He could smell his lavender bath salts clinging to her skin, and the coconut body lotion that was making her legs glisten a little where they poked out under his dressing gown.

“Perfect,” She smiled widely, finally getting to him and wrapping herself around him, leaning her chin on his shoulder. Harry’s arm lifted instinctively around her waist, hand in the dip of her middle. “What have you been doing?” She asked, glancing to the glass of wine and the piece of paper where the pen was resting. She reached for the wine, her fingers circling around the stem. For a second Harry thought she was going for the paper, and it was strange that his heart didn’t race at the prospect of someone reading his innermost feelings. He just felt calm though, and watched as Molly took a sip of the deep red wine he’d poured himself with a glitter in her eye that always made him weak.

“Just writing a letter,” Harry told her and Molly nodded slowly, her lips folding together, her tongue just peeking out through them as she swiped away the wine. Neither of them said anything, but Molly lowered her face a little and caught Harry’s lips with hers. She tasted of the red wine, and she smelt of lotion and freshly washed towels. Harry’s heart fluttered, his free hand, the one not holding her waist, moving to her head, holding her in place as he got to his feet and pulled her body into his. He’d never wanted all of someone in quite the way he wanted all of Molly. But more than that, he’d never wanted to give all of himself to someone in quite the way he wanted to give all of himself to Molly. He wanted her to have all of him, every darkest part of his mind as well as the rest of it, every scar on his body, and every little thought and dream that crept into him.

Maybe it was that Molly was the first woman he'd trusted. Maybe she was just the first person he'd let in enough to be able to trust fully. Either way it was poignant. Either way it said something about the kind of orbital gravity she was having on his life. Either way he was falling, had fallen, through time and space, to be with her, to be in love with her, like that was his only purpose.

This is potentially one of my favourite things I’ve ever written so I really hope you like it and I can’t wait for you guys to come chat to me about this one. I hope you do eek!

You’ve all been so kind and lovely about this fic and I’ll love you all endlessly for it.

All the love x 

[rrickgrrimes8]

The Purpose ~ Jacey Grimes

Chapter One - Repercussions

masterlist ⚫ book 1 masterlist ⚫ book 2 masterlist ⚫ requests ⚫ request guidelines

"What did you want to do?" Jacey asked. 

"What do you mean?" Addie answered the girl. 

"Like when you grow up? Before all this happened?" 

"I can't tell you," She blushed, "You'll laugh."

Jacey looked down at the beauty who had her head resting in her lap, "Why would I laugh, you dork?" 

Addie smiled slightly, "You just would... it's embarrassing." 

"Would it make you feel better if I tell you what I wanted to be?" Addie nodded her head at Jacey's compromise, "A cop." 

"Like your dad?" Jacey grimaced at his mention, although she saw it coming. 

"Yeah... he was so brave. Even if it led to him getting shot, that's still what I wanted to be." 

"What? Brave?" Addie tilted her head, still blessing Jacey's eyes with her wide smile. 

"Yeah, that and I guess I wanted to make him proud, I wanted to protect people like he did," She paused, frowning softly, "But I guess that's impossible with everything that's happened." 

Addie beamed at the girl wanting more than anything to take her pain away, "You protect me... you'll always protect me." Jacey stayed silent, so completely happy with this moment. "And for what it's worth, I'm proud of you, and I'm sure he was too. I mean how could he not be," the dark-skinned girl admitted, "Look at you, you're a badass." 

"Thank you, Addie. And I will protect you, I promise," the younger girl let herself fall back onto the grass, Addie remaining on her lap, "But I can't help but realise you've yet to say yours." 

Addie groaned, lifting slightly to look her into her blue eyes, "I uh... I wanted to be in the navy." 

"No shit, I did not expect that, but I can see it. You're quite the badass yourself," She paused, "Any reason why?" 

"Uh yeah, my older brother was," Jacey felt the girls' mood suddenly change, "I always thought he was so cool... 'Fighting bad guys and living the dream,' he always used to say." 

"Where is he now?" She inquired. 

"God knows he was overseas when it happened so your guess is as good as mine. He's alive though I bet he is." 

"What was his name?" 

"Jaeden," She replied, "You would've liked him. He was so awesome. I remember once back before he joined my dad was out for the weekend some business trip or something. Jaeden decided to invite the entire block for a party at ours. I for one was extremely against it but he insisted. He said to me, 'Addie you gotta get your shit together and live or it's all gonna pass you by. I'm doing this for you, so you can have fun, so you can make a memory,'" she reminisced smiling softly, "It was actually a going away party but he just didn't have the heart to tell me." 

"Your dad ever find out?" Jacey simpered. 

Addie nodded, "Oh god you should've seen his face... he was so mad but Jaeden took the blame like he always did. I miss him." 

"You're right," Jacey acknowledged after a few minutes, "I would've liked him."

Jacey was yet to move from her seat in the RV. In fact, she was yet to do anything at all. She hadn't eaten, hadn't slept and she certainly hadn't spoken. The funny thing to her was that she didn't feel angry at her father for stealing that opportunity away from her, she didn't feel the pain of Addie and Mitch's deaths or even most recently Jacqui's at least not to the extent she did days prior and despite what her group thought she was staying silent because everything was too much for her. She was staying silent because she simply felt nothing at all. Jacey was in a state of nothingness, oblivion hell even numbness whatever you'd like to call it. For days her feelings were everywhere, she screamed, cried, laughed. Christ, she even tried suicide and now she was completely and utterly exhausted. So exhausted in fact that she almost felt free without the weighing pressure of her feelings. Jacey wanted to say it scared her but she knew it would just be a lie, nothing scared her anymore. Not even the walkers that roamed past them every so often could scare her. She truly felt nothing at all. 

"Baby you gotta get up okay?" Jacey heard someone tell her, "Or at least eat something please." The voice was pleading with her now and she pointed out to herself that they sounded so close to tears. She knew the voice belonged to her mother without even looking as she'd tried this same thing 5 times already, the sadness in her voice vaulting every time she did so. 

"C'mon, Jace, talk to me. You can't ignore everyone forever," Lori huffed knowing well enough that her daughter did have it in her to ignore everyone forever, "Please, baby." 

This time, however, Jacey did move. The young girl lifted her small fist at her mother bringing her middle finger up towards her. She apprehended that Lori had stomped away angrily and fed up, which almost brought a smile to her face - almost. 

"Jesus, kid, you hell-bent on everyone hating ya?" This time she recognised the accented voice as no other than Shane Walsh. Jacey lifted her finger once more this time in his direction, "Oh you're doing it to me now, great." She imagined he would've rolled his eyes at this probably distracting himself with something with his shotgun. "You know she's only trying to help ya. You don't got to be such an ass about it," She could tell that Shane was tired with whatever she was doing but it didn't matter to her and she wouldn't stop because her bitch of a mother asked so politely. 

Shane looked out of the RV window, spotting Carl, who was half-ass playing with Sophia and frowned. "You know you're breaking their hearts right, Jace? Carl hasn't smiled in days, your dad hardly saying a word. Do you even know what you were going to do?" He pressed, waiting but still knowing he wasn't going to get an answer, "Suicide, Jacey! Death... you would be gone. You would've left them all behind. Does that not bother you at all?" 

Jacey waited a second before shifting her vision towards him, "No." Her words were sharp, not an ounce of regret coming from them. "No, it doesn't. Not at all," This time she laughed, a small one but it was clear what it was. 

"Are you fucking kidding me, Jacey? What the hell is wrong with you?" Jacey was certain that the man was angry even though he wouldn't allow himself to show it. 

"Too much," She smiled, "Too fucking much. A-and I knew that. I got that and I told dad. I told him and yet he still forced me to live... he took my choice away. I'm a sick person, Shane, I know and you can hate me, all of them can for all I care but that's not going to change the fact I don't give a fucking shit." The former police officer didn't say a word, too stunned at her upheaval. 

"Rick should've left me there," Jacey added bitterly. 

"It would've been wrong. You're just a kid. Leaving you there would never be the right thing to do no matter how much you begged," Shane brought his hand to his chin, "It would've been wrong." 

Jacey chuckled fakely, "So's fucking a married woman but that never stopped you." 

The RV fell silent and Shane was so glad that it was only them who occupied it right then, "You don't know what you're talking about." 

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, Walsh." 

Now the man grew nervous, which wasn't necessarily a familiar feeling - had they been that obvious? Shane sat back into his chair, sighing as he did, "How did you know?" 

"I didn't, not until just now," Shane deadpanned, "I just witnessed a little too many longing stares." Jacey laughed at his tough demeanour shattering as he once again looked out the window at her mother. 

"You can't tell no one, alright?" 

"Why? Thought you'd love to break my parent's marriage up," The strange girl brought her legs to her chest and observed how the man struggled to answer. 

"You just can't, Jacey. Promise me you won't?" he said fearful, knowing the father and daughter were close. 

"Yeah, yeah whatever Walsh wouldn't dream of it," Jacey swore, "But just know I have a habit of breaking promises." 

"This isn't a joke, kid, don't say nothin'." 

"Alright, jeez Walsh get off my back," She joked but Shane remained unimpressed, "As much as I'd like to hurt Rick, you don't deserve to get hurt in the process, neither does Carl." 

"Thank you, kid," Shane smirked, "Now will you please go outside and catch some sun you're looking paler by the minute." 

Jacey looked out of the window to the place they'd had stopped for a break and sighed, "Only if you join me." The officer nodded at her request and followed her out of the vehicle. 

Lori was first to notice the pair. She was surprised and almost angry that he had done the thing she'd attempted to do the last few days. Rick was next but he could barely meet her eyes. A familiar feeling arose at the sight of his partner with his daughter, a feeling he first felt way back in camp when he held her back from fighting him. A feeling of jealousy. He didn't like it, god no he didn't. He hated feeling so envious of the man for having some sort of relationship with his daughter compared to the broken one they shared. Carl was last to see as he looked up from playing Sophia's checkerboard on the floor of the small clearing. He was furious with the girl, which wasn't something he could hide, not like he wanted to anyway. Carl hated how she abused the power she held over him. He hated how she would go from being his sister to being a stranger, someone hellbent on getting herself killed. 

"Do I look tanner yet?" Jacey joked as they sat against some tires. 

"Like a shining star," Shane chuckled adjusting his hat before taking it off completely preferring the feeling of the sun shining straight on his head. "Here take this," He handed over his cap to the girl, "Don't want you getting sunstroke after being holed up in there for days." 

Jacey smiled at his almost fatherly actions and planted the black hat, that held the word 'police', on her head. "What are we doing now, by the way?" She inquired. 

"Making our way to Fort Benning," Jacey scoffed, "What? It's our safest option." 

"I don't know why yall keep lying to yourselves. Fort Benning is gone, so's the government. We saw that with our own eyes at the C.D.C." 

"Where do you suggest then, princess?" Jacey said nothing, "See... anyways that's the plan we're going with so suck it up, alright?" She merely nodded before leaning further against the stray tire. 

"You alright?" Jacey didn't respond though, not having it in her to find the words - was she okay? Was this what okay felt like? 

"Are any of us?" That shut Shane up as he peered off, overlooking the group. "I should uh... I should probably go talk to Carl," the girl mumbled standing up and dusting off the dirt from her pants. She walked off before Shane could answer which he didn't care much about. 

Jacey felt relatively nervous as she proceeded towards her family. She saw Rick look at her with hopeful eyes, which she avoided and grew closer to Carl. "Can I talk to you?" Jacey appealed. 

Carl gazed up to his older sister, "No." 

"No?" 

"You heard me right," the boy muttered looking back to the game they were playing. 

"C'mon Carl, don't make this harder than it needs to be," She challenged. 

"I said no," Carl insisted not bothering to cast his eyes back to her as he spoke. 

"Please," Jacey pleaded with the young boy and bit her lip as she saw his hands clench into a fist. 

"What don't you understand about no?!" Carl snapped, "Why can't you leave me alone? Like we all know you want to," Jacey didn't reply confused, "Don't look at me like you don't know." 

"I don't know what you mean, Carl. I want to be around y-" 

"No, you don't! You made that clear enough," Carl halted, breathing heavily, "All you do is leave me, Jacey, and I don't want to talk to you, to let you try to explain yourself b-because I know I'll believe you." The girl looked to his brother motionless, "I'll believe you and you'll leave again! You'll break every promise you make to me so I'll save you the bother of even making them. Just leave me alone." 

"I'm sorry," she undertook now looking into the boy's bloodshot eyes. 

"No, you're not... If you were you wouldn't have left me when all of this started, you wouldn't have left me to go back to that girl and you wouldn't have tried to stay with Jacqui and that doctor," He cried standing up, ignoring the stares he got, "I wish you stayed at the C.D.C."

 Carl marched off into the direction of one of the cars while Jacey wouldn't move an inch. 

"Well, I wished I stayed there too!" She screamed back at him after getting over her initial shock. The teenager roughly pushed past her father, who had now moved in her way and entered one of the cars. 

"Jacey come back here!" She heard a male voice shout to her. Jacey ignored him, of course, and took her seat in the same car Carl had just entered. 

"Leave her, Rick, she needs time," Rick looked to his wife disapprovingly. 

"She just tried to kill herself, Lori, and you want me to let her run off feeling God knows what," He choked, the reality of the statement settled in with the pair shortly after. Their daughter had tried to end her own life. "Hell if I'll leave her alone again," Rick tried to leave his wife but she held him back. 

"Give her time, alright? Carl and her need to talk they can't do that with you around," Lori told him. 

Carl refused to look at his sister as he continued to stare out of the front window. "Talk to me please," The older girl begged. 

They stayed quiet for a long time until Carl spoke up, "I don't want to wake up tomorrow and you to be gone." 

Jacey sighed, "You won't-" 

"Don't. Please don't lie to me," He shuddered, "You're my best friend, Jacey. How do you expect me to be okay without you? How could you even dare to try and do what you did at the C.D.C.? Did you even think about me? About what would happen to me?" 

"I thought I was doing you all a favour," she watched as her brother cried, unable to comfort him in any way. 

"You're selfish Jace. That's all you are and I will never forgive you for that." Memories flashed to Addie's words, words that pained her to hear but it hurt more hearing them for her brother. 

"I'm sorry."

[hotdadlicense]

ahh for my dearest zhenya @fapfapfashion lover! heres that bfu post i said id make for you like monnnnnths ago i PROMISE i never forgot! just :(:( life. but anyway this was FUN i love youuuu! disclaimer: im not rly in the fandom this is all stuff i see through like just some friends reblogging stuff every now and again and whenever i go to the tag to find stuff sometimes but ANWAY I HOPE its semi coherent <3<3<3 love YOU.

OKAY I FEEL LIKE i said YEH ILL MAKE YOU A MASTERPOST FUCK YEAH but now im like hmmm making a buzzfeed unsolved masterpost is.......not that much cos its like? all there on their youtube channels like its not like music or stuff where theres yknow albums! singles! unreleased songs! special live performances! music videos! documentaries! band info! like its all over on buzzfeed multiplayer youtube and buzzfeed unsolved network youtube but whatever i can ramble about dumb shit and link some stuff so ayeee.

heres the links to the actual videos:

SUPERNATURAL

+ season one // two // three // four // five

+ supernatural: postmortem

TRUE CRIME

season one // two // three // four

+ true crime: postmortem

all eps in order (including postmortem)

personal favs

a vid that bab @chantillystars linked me and i watch it every time im feelin not fresh so i can smile

someone elses better done video round up master post! op ur incredible

now under the cut cos i realy did ramble :(

okay so THE HOSTS!

RYAN BERGARA (insta//twitter)

the fucking creator and inventer of bfu its his baby and im so proud of him and how far its come <3

when the season finale of the latest supernatural premiered it trended at number 1 over the fucking new lion king trailer and he got emo on twitter and insta about it and i cried a lil bit

fucking loves sports basketball or whatever themeparks popcorn and paddington bear

not scared enough of ghosts to not sleep in a haunted house but is scared enough that he absolutely will scream the whole entire time that he is in said haunted house

first ghost encounter was on the queen mary when he was a teenager. the ghost knocked his toothpaste of the shelf and he freaked. and now he has shat his pants at every bump in the night since. icon!

works his ass for to produce mass amounts of content for us like its fucking insane? all up there are like 9 seasons of bfu plus post-mortems and its only been going since 2014?? plus everything else hes got happening??

rly sweet and funny but like in a frat boi kinda way but like. a frat boi you could trust?

SHANE MADEJ (insta//twitter)

wasnt actually the original cohost!

(BRENT was the orignal host but had to beg out a couple episodes in cos he was juggling too many commitments so which fair!)

ryan and shane were desk partners and longtime buzzfeed pals that ? if i remember correctly? interned together back when they first started?

ryan turned to shane one day and was like ‘yo, wanna cohost this show with me?’ and shane was like 'sure.’ and honestly trying to picture it now without shane?? okay ryan and shane just bounce off each other so well theyre like a dream team. god bless them being desk buddies and work pals.

shanes a freak

does not believe in ghosts spirits orbs and all things that go bump in the night like he seems to genuinely want to but like. science and his big ass brain wont let him.

very smart! can rly work a patterned floral shirt! or plaid! kinda gives a dad vibe in glasses but then he talks and its like okay please never supervise a child!

v into history! so much so that he has his own lil show on buzzfeed aka:

RUINING HISTORY

stars him along with ryan and sara (his beautiful and smart and talented gf who also works at buzzfeed <3) with some other ever changing cohosts

hes also responsible for The Hot Dog Saga aka THE HOTDAGA and i know there are people that adore it but! in their own words! id rather walk into the sea.

ryan, too, hates the hotdaga and i feel like this was? about the hotdaga after shane sung something fuck if i remmebr

RYAN + SHANE

these gifs are from the ?second ep? i saw of them honestly it rly sums up the ryan/shane dynamic i guess

but like. the way ryan looks and laughs whenever shane says something mildly funny? hearteyes mutherfucker

above when i said shanes a freak? yeah.

ryan letting shane live as long as he has? true friendship

whenever theyre at the lil desk in their lil basement talking cases shane just talks shit and ryan just lets him and i fucking love them

the LAST FRAME

oh one time they lucked out with a hotel that had a jacuzzi tub <3

yknow what? this was actually kinda sweet. like yeh bitch

shane madej: nations greatest tragedy.

i can hear this in my head just looking at these gifs and it makes me laugh everytime and thats BAD cos a child fucking died

shanes a freak pt.2

OH SHIT one time in postmortem they joked that brent was coming back and shane was leaving and fuck? they had to actually address that it was a joke fUCK

its not all shittalking and screaming there really is some fond and happy shit too

bfu most recognisable and iconic line.

shanes hottest pick up lines when hes on site

the comments on the video for this ep about this part are fucking hilarious please read when you watch that ep

okay its common knowledge that shanes a demon which ill tlak about in a sec but THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE? ryans the fucking demon. like the way hes just standing there, hands clasped behind his back, giving shane (whos acting like a CHILD) that Look? demon bout to kill the dumbass chillin at a haunted house on halloween. come to collet a soul or 10. magical!

OKAY SO SHANE TALKS SOME BIG GAME IN THE EPS but HIS love for ryan will always melt my heart like HE LOVES and cares about ryan so much and supports buzzfeed unsolved so much and whenever things get dumb on social media shanes ready to call it out and make a post or just like. praise ryan (like he rightfully deserves) and yeah im emo about it anyway hes shane being cute part one and heres shane REALLY FUCKING going all out (!!!!!!!!!!.meme)i LOVE him also being cute part two

‘id walk into the sea.’

shanes a freak pt.3

ryan: “Are ghosts real?” shane: *this dumb face*

NERDS

i laughed for like 10 minutes the first time i watched this part thankyou shane

THEM LAUGHING TILL THEY CRIED ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DIED PLAYING THE PIANO

a real insight to shanes mind

ryan really puts up with this

shane got a bowlcut once just for funsies like okay youre no joba but good job i guess

TROPES/ICONIC MEMES/WAHTEVER:

shanes a demon

+ free real estate.meme

+ the office.meme

+ he aint right

+ JALDSHFK FUCK

+ ryan acknowledging that shane is a demon thankyou

+ like the good thing about having a guest fill in on the few times shanes been away has been ryan always being like okay so the demons not here so lets just acknowledge That

goatsman bridge

+ the video that started all this aka the one you reblogged hehhehe

+ what a fucking JOKE

+ an absolute JOKE

+ bridge owner fuck OFF

+ ksdjhfgjhsdkj.meme

sallie house

+ shane was insufferable this episode i fell in love for real how did ryan LIVE

+ like imagine trying to feel your heart beating while fucking shanes over there doing That

+ rock n roll buckaroo

+ swell has become apart of my daily vocal i hate

bobby mack

+ ‘hey there demons. its me, ya boi.’

+ ‘and frankly i dont believe in you, so i feel like im writing a letter to santa claus right now.’

+ tweet.meme

+ overall a great ep

+ can shane calm the fuck down okay i need ryan to make it out of this SAFELY and ALIVE

father thomas

+ ryans FACE also shane being that annoying sibling to ur parents

+ father thomas really went into this thinking he could help these boys to be fair shane was taking notes. ryan was just? dying inside

+ freak

+ imagine being like a 70 yr old priest hearing some dudes walking into ur congregation and overhearing ‘jesus said chill.’

bigfoot

+ ryan does not rly believe in bigfoot but shane does so like you win some you lose some

+ in the least shippy way possible this epsiode is ultimate soft gays going on a hike

+ like its just such a sweet domestic ep

+ <3

+ just happy babbey

[weapon13whitefang]

TWD 9X5 [What Comes After] Thoughts and Feelings - Late Response.

With things at work being completely crazy, I haven’t had the energy when I get home to work on my breakdown of the show, so this is a little later than I meant to post it (like cutting it close later!). But it’s here and I just have a lot to say about this.

So on my way to work / during work, I was listening to @dynamicsymmetry AKA Sunny and their thoughts on the show. They give a very honest opinion on the show and while I do not always agree with them, they are good to listen to when it comes to me trying to outline what I want to talk about / what I need to think about with this show. So give them a listen! I enjoy their podcast immensely no matter how I agree or disagree with something and to me that’s a good podcast.

So, onto the show.

I’m going to flat out be honest; I did cry. Not like burst into tears crying. But more like I just got emotional. It hit me that even though I knew Rick would be okay (I just knew this wasn’t the end of Rick Grimes because of the way the damn show was advertising it, the constant talk of the bridge, and the whole emotional investigation Rick had to this whole Savior idea AKA we all know that shit needed to be aired out before anything could be done), I wasn’t ready to see his friends and family suffer.

Seeing Michonne have to be restrained – just like she had to do Maggie back at the end of AoW was heartbreaking and it just hit me that the women on this show do not have good luck with loved ones (Or the Gay folks either). Michonne – like a lot of fucking people on this show – has lost a lot. She’s lost two sons – her biological and the son that was also a true friend who helped bring her out of a dark place – and she lost a very close friend – Andrea – and has now lost the man she loves and has only Judith left of anything that brings her close to Carl (since technically Judith is Shane’s… Or maybe not, but that’s what Michonne and Rick believed) and Rick (in spirit!) and it’s just… Maggie’s line about raising a child on your own… Ouch.

Daryl’s reaction killed me more than I thought it would, actually. I was ready to be hurt by Daryl loosing Rick but I wasn’t ready for the pain that gave me that, for a good reason, Daryl is going to never return from this and he is never going to let himself forgive his actions – how he lead Rick so far out even if he didn’t want to hurt Rick it still got him hurt, how he didn’t make Rick get on the fucking bike with him, how the last thing Rick said to him was “You, too” as in you be safe as well…  There’s just so much there and the way Norman played that scene – the lip wobble, the complete pain and disbelief, the utter horror – was amazing and beautiful… It was just as heart wrenching as watching him loose it after Merle was found and he had to put him down because that was another brother lost…. Also the look they shared before Rick blew up the bridge like yeah thanks, Rick, Daryl needed that memory too!

Okay! Had to get that out of the way and just say, yes, I had an emotional reaction to the damn “death” even though I smelled and saw that shit coming two thousand million miles away… Sometimes being a theatre and cinema major can just make TV shows not as surprising to watch, ya know?

Now let’s talk about – first – the side story that happened with Maggie and Michonne and Maggie and Negan.

I’ll start with Maggie and Michonne because I loved that scene but there was a part that did actually kind of piss me the fuck off and I’ll explain. First off, you have two very strong characters – two strong women – facing once another with two different choices… But also similar views. We all probably agree that a part of Michonne did believe that, yes, Rick did not have the right to make the final call on Negan. There’s a lot of calls Rick did not have the right to make without coming to an understanding with the others. But I’ll talk about how I’m glad he tried what he did.

So Maggie wants Negan dead because of Glenn. Michonne wanted Negan alive to help Rick honor what Carl wanted. Like Rick, she also couldn’t let go of Carl… But Michonne understood things better and was seeing things better. I really wasn’t surprised when she consented to giving Maggie the key to Negan’s cell. Because as I said, of course she knows what Maggie feels. Because she understands. But she wanted to give this to Rick and to what Carl wanted… But it isn’t up to her or Rick. None of the big choices with the Saviors and Negan should’ve been completely left to Rick.

Michonne steps aside and lets Maggie go… Now I’m okay with that. What I am NOT okay with is the line Maggie has about how she doesn’t know what Glenn would have wanted… That is complete and utter cockadoodle bullshit. Maggie… You are telling me that after all this time, all the private moments, all your memories with Glenn… That you don’t know what kind of person, what kind of choices, Glenn would make? Because I fucking know. I believe Glenn would not want you to kill someone in cold revenge and blood. And fuck off everyone who says “Well Glenn was gonna try to kill the Governor to get revenge for what he did to him and Maggie-“ NO. Shush. Yes, Glenn was in a dark place at that point… But Glenn DID NOT do it. Why? Because Hershel snapped him the fuck out of it and Glenn pulled himself out of that dark hole the rest of the way to be there for Maggie. He thought of her and his family before making a choice to back off. So yes, Glenn had his rage out moment. But he still chose to be bigger than his revenge and anger. Which is what I believe Glenn would’ve wanted for Maggie. “Maggie, I’ll find you” wasn’t just Glenn’s last words of “I’ll see you in the afterlife”. It was “I’ll find you in spirit and be with you and help you in your dark times”. That’s what that line spoke to me as Glenn was dying. That’s his final words to Maggie and I think, while tragic, it’s beautiful… So Maggie, dude, you KNOW what Glenn would’ve wanted and it’s bullshit for you to say otherwise.

I’m not gonna talk too much about the Negan VS Maggie shit, but I have seen people saying “he only said that because it’s what Maggie wants and he’s manipulating her” and… Yeah. A part of me agrees with it… But I also think not. Negan at that moment was still not completely in his head because of Michonne revealing what happened to “Lucille” AKA the bat. I believe that a part of Negan is a little unbalanced right now. But I believe he’s not so totally out of it that he can’t try to manipulate a situation. That’s something they told us. Negan is a manipulative person. That’s how he was in the comics and that’s how he is in the show. He manipulated the others to follow his way. He manipulated Rick. He tried to manipulate Daryl with psychological torture with Dwight. That’s what Negan does… So while I believe he was genuine in his “kill me”, I also believe a part of it was a manipulation to Maggie. I wouldn’t put it past his character.

I know a lot of people wanted Maggie to kill Negan but I’m glad she didn’t for her human side. I don’t really mind Negan. He’s just kind of a villain that is there for me… But I’m also glad because it gives us a chance to have this interesting choice of Judith being the one to become his new youthful communication with the outside world instead of Carl as it was in the comics… I’ll get more into that in a bit.

Now for Rick’s scenes. First off, I didn’t watch any spoilers for this episode because I wanted to be spoil free for Andy’s big moment here… And when Rick pulls his body off that slab, I about gagged. Not because it was gross, because God knows we’ve seen nastier shit on this show… But because I have never heard Rick in that much pain on the show. The pure scream of grief and agony and pain choked at me because goddamn you could FEEL that rod in his side as he pulled himself off it. That was amazing and I was there in pain with Rick. Plus getting to see him struggle to climb that horse (Rick, stay the fuck away from horse’s dude) and leave that blood on it’s pure white coloring was so… Beautiful and tragic looking.

Let’s start with the first visit. His iconic image of riding into Atlanta on his horse, an image so popular they used it to promote the show in season one and played it heavily in the trailers because of how surreal it was to the audience back then. It’s still one of my favorite TWD images honestly. And having Rick once again trotting down the road into the city was a nice little nudge… But also an interesting start for him to meet up with Shane again.

So before I get into Shane, we have three big scenes with Rick. His ride into Atalanta and running into Shane and the flipped over car. Ending up back on the farm, in the walker barn, with Hershel. Exiting the hospital hallway and stepping out into a sea of dead bodies and running into Sasha… The transition of these scene and the set up of them interests me because… They’re kind of out of order. Now of course we had the scene of Rick looking at his younger self in the hospital and looking outside and seeing birds turn into helicopters, so technically we have four big scenes with run ins with different characters. Because, yes, Season 1 Rick is not Season 9 Rick… But it’s the order that surprises me.

Twice Rick is back in Atlanta. Twice he in the hospital area. If you go in order, it should be Rick with Shane in the patrol car, Rick in the hospital, Rick going to Atlanta, and then making it to the farm. Now of course this is a fever dream so suspense of reality but I’m just fascinated that they even had Rick going to Atlanta… Because it really served no purpose. Twice.

We see Atlanta outside the window of the hospital room and then Rick is walking to Atlanta but he had no reason to be in Atlanta… Maybe if he had imagined Merle (Don’t see why the fuck he would since him and Merle were far from close) or maybe the time he met Glenn, then yeah I could understand the walk to Atlanta… But literally he’s in Atlanta and then he’s in the car with Shane in the field where he got shot… So I don’t fully understand why his brain kept taking him to Atlanta. Yes it’s where it started… But it didn’t serve anything in the fever dream… Again it’s a fever dream so it doesn’t necessarily need to mean anything but from a psychological stand point and from a viewers eyes and someone who studies film and scripts, I have to wonder why they wanted to showcase Atlanta so much… It just seems… Random. It’s really not but in some ways it is. Hmm…

But back to Shane. First off, I love Shane. He’s a complete asshole scumbag and he’s a nasty dude, but I really just was so happy when I heard we were gonna see Shane. I missed seeing Jon Bernthal outside of The Punisher and Daredevil honestly and plus, Shane was a big changing moment for Rick. Shane brought out just what Rick would do for his family. He made a choice and took down someone that was dangerous to Rick himself and the people around him. But also, it was a big change for Daryl and Rick to in terms of Daryl taking over as Rick’s right hand man and brought them closer. It’s also the big choice that put Rick in charge fully. He didn’t ask for it. It just… happened. Shane is the one who pushed Rick into this role. I believe that fully… That and I just always believed that the Sheriff in Rick was always geared to try and take over in situations. I work with our county Sheriff and I can honestly say that he would definitely try to take over as a leader in a live or die situation. So I think that was always in Rick. He’s not a good one by any means. But he is a leader type.

So at the farm, I was so emotional because seeing Scott Wilson made my heart swell and cry. RIP to this amazing character and to this amazing man that all I’ve heard is genuine love and appreciation for him from others around him and that makes me so happy that he got to have this final scene and moment with Andy and the show and as Hershel… But I will say, seeing him clean shaven again threw me off because no matter how I visualize Hershel, he still has his Santa beard lol. But they say in Heaven you’re younger looking and I thought he did look younger there so maybe he was Angel Hershel coming down to reach out to Rick (I don’t know if that’s what they were going for but it is what I felt and saw).

Anyway, Hershel shows up and has Rick look out across the land from the barn and Rick breaks down with apologies for what happened to him. But not just him. He apologizes for his family in general.

Rick: I'm so sorry for what happened to you. To Beth and Glenn. For everything Maggie's lost. Hershel: Rick. Rick: Maybe if I tried harder, done things different, listened more Hershel: My girl, she's strong, and my grandson, he'll only make her stronger.

Now of course it made me smile to hear Rick say Beth and Glenn’s name because it’s important that he acknowledge that he let these characters down. I do believe that Beth could be alive, there’s no hiding that I do… But even if she isn’t, it’s been a long time since we’ve heard Beth’s name and hearing that made me smile and sigh because it’s something.

This whole scene with Hershel was beautiful in that it was Rick talking to his heart. Hershel was his heart while Shane was Rick’s drive to make the heavy discussions – his strength. Hershel taught Rick that you still have to have heart in this world because you can’t just rely on physical strength alone. That’s what Hershel was for Rick. His heart and faith and this peaceful talk in the barn was just so heartwarming to me. I’m very happy for it.

So now for the scene that everyone was ready for and a scene from the comic covers… Rick in the field of bodies. So Rick ends up back in the hallway of the hospital he woke up in. Instead of running away from the chained door, he goes to the chained door… Which instead of reading “Don’t Open, Dead Inside” it reads “Don’t Open, Dead Outside”. Rick opens the door and outside we just see bodies upon bodies. Around Rick’s feet are the dead. Around his feet are the dead bodies of his family and friends.

Interestingly, this is where people from TD jerked up because we get a shot… of Beth. Of course it’s not Emily Kinney, it’s a stand in (I’m thinking she couldn’t come on due to maybe some scheduled conflict or something) and she’s wearing the yellow polo with blood all over her arm and none on the back of her head.

So here’s my bit of TD for you. One, I think the blood on her arm is from Daryl shooting Dawn. Dawn fell near or on top of Beth’s body when Daryl shot her. The way she jerks and falls down makes me think she fell on Beth… And the blood we see in the last shot of Beth’s hand, is Dawn’s blood. The shot we see of the blood pooling by Beth is Dawn’s since one, her body fell forward and when you have a massive head wound and lean forward, blood pools out (I have confirmation from my father whose head was split open after he was run over by a four-wheeler and the hole was big enough for my grandfathers hand to fit straight down without touching either side... A lot of blood pulled out every time he leaned forward or took a step).

Two, she’s not wearing the sweater and is just in the polo shirt and… Rick never saw Beth wearing just the polo shirt. I’m pretty sure the last time he saw Beth before the exchange, Beth was wearing the dirty grayish blue tank top over the yellow tank top thing and her jeans and boots… And when Daryl carried Beth out / during the exchange, Beth was wearing the gray button up sweater with the yellow polo underneath… So where is the sweater? Also, interestingly, Sasha is wearing the outfit she wore in S4. Daryl is wearing the outfit for season 9, Maggie from season 8 I believe, and Jesus season six and seven… Basically everyone is in different states of dress from different seasons and it’s interesting to me because for some that’s how Rick first saw them or how he sees them now… Or how he remembers them in general like with Sasha. Everyone except for Beth… Because Rick never saw her wearing just the polo shirt…

Now I’m thinking “Listen, Linds, this doesn’t mean anything”… But it’s a costume choice. This is the outfit they chose to put Beth – the stand in – in and it’s not an outfit Rick last saw her in or even knows… Also, the blood on Beth’s arm – on her right arm – is also the same side Rick was bleeding on and where all the blood was coming from.

Also, like everyone else, I did notice that she didn’t have her head wound… Now that doesn’t throw me off that much because like Sunny said in their podcast, everyone does look peaceful and a lot of them do have blood on them… But it is fascinating that Maggie and Beth have blood on them – we can see it. I don’t see any on Daryl or Carol. There’s a smudge on Jesus’s forehead to the left…. But I don’t see any on anyone else that’s team family… Which is interesting because Maggie is basically gonna be M.IA. for the rest of the season, Beth is considered dead, and it’s been rumored that Jesus is going to be dead (I don’t think he’s gonna die but I do think he’s going to disappear for a bit).

So little shit like that caught my eye and was fascinating to me…

On to Sasha! So am I the only one that was fascinated that it was Sasha standing up from the bodies… When back in I think S5, Sasha was killing walkers and then laying in a hole with them… She was laying among the dead. Now she’s standing among the dead with Rick in his fever dream… I thought that was kind of a nice little opposite parallel to how Sasha was then to how she is for Rick here… Plus I just was happy to see her. People seem to forget that Maggie isn’t the only one who lost someone she loved… Sasha had lost Abraham. Rosita lost Abe a long time ago and sure it hurt her and she she still deeply cared about him when he was killed, but Sasha loved Abe and Abe loved Sasha and she lost him and that really hurt her… So seeing her speak such hopeful, peaceful things to Rick… It was where Sasha was always trying to be with Bob and then later with Abe; at peace. It’s Sasha taking on the side that Tyreese was always trying to teach her to be and I think that’s beautiful.

BUT Like a lot of people and like Sunny said… I was surprised. I was expecting Glenn… And the stuff Sasha was saying is stuff I would expect to have Glenn say to Rick. So I agree with Sunny on that and kinda have to ponder if Steven Yeun simply couldn’t come/didn’t want to come or if they really just had Sonequa in mind… Also! I’m a little frustrated we didn’t get to see Carl or Lori. I mean I’m glad Rick saw Michonne but Lori and Carl were his family too, dammit.. I get it. The actors probably couldn’t/didn’t want to but… I don’t know, I wish we could’ve seen more characters from Rick’s past (I’m telling you, if Rick had seen Merle I would be cackling cause you know he’d say “Officer Friendly” to him lol) like Andrea or even Jim would’ve been interesting since that’s the first victim Rick had to leave behind/couldn’t really help you know? Or even seeing a flash of Sophia – the Barn scene was there but Sophia was also a big moment for Rick – would’ve been interesting… I just feel they missed a chance to really dig at Rick’s past. But I’m also aware they might not have been able to so… Yeah.

Now… I want to jump to the time jump. First off, I’m not sure exactly how many years have passed… Between season eight and none, it was said a year and six months – by Maggie – had passed since Glenn died… The AoW took place over about a week or two so… Yeah about eighteen months… So Judith had to be another year older, give or take… Now she’s supposed to be around ten years old (as stated by many articles) – similar age to how old Carl was in the comics (I believe he was 9 in the beginning) – and that means that she was around four/five when Rick died and that means that it’s been about five/six years later by the end of the episode…

First off, Judith Grimes is wearing the Sheriff hat (A symbol for Carl and Rick), has Rick’s gun (wonder if they found it among the rubble of the bridge looking for something of him), a katana (to represent Michonne), but did you all see that she is wearing a purple plaid shirt… Which is what Lori wore in many of her season photos and in the show… So they have Judith paying tribute to Carl, Rick, Michonne, and her biological mother Lori… Now we just need her to rub her head a lot and she can be showing signs of Shane (I kid I kid LOL!).

Is it a bit fanservice? Of fucking course it is… But who cares? This is a zombie show. I stopped caring about realistic shit forever ago with this show lol. Plus I kind of like it. It makes sense for Judith to be… Well, kind of a little asskicker. First off, that’s a tribute to Daryl nicknaming her that. Plus this is a child that completely grew up in this kind of world. Carl was still old enough to remember the old world. Judith only knows this world. It makes sense to me that she’d be more “adjusted” than anyone on this show. You grow as your environment allows and this is the world Judith knows… SO I’m okay with her being a little fanservice like… Now I just need to hear her call Daryl “Uncle Daryl” please!

And… I am beyond fascinated by her taking Carl’s roll to talk to Negan. To seem to have formed some kind of semi-comfortable relationship to Negan of all people… Think about it. Negan, the man who once had a Harem and who tried to kill her family, becoming some kind of associate to Judith is fascinating... It’s very similar to Carl in the comics (not completely since Carl was pretty vicious in the comics and Judith doesn’t seem vicious to me… yet) so… I’m very curious about this. Because Negan in the comic does a few things to try and make Carl trust him and even considers Carl a friend… I wont spoil that for those that haven’t read it but man I’m so so so interested to see where they take Judith’s character now that she’s older (Plus, hello, she’s played by Baby Rey! I may not be the biggest fan of the new Sta Wars movies but I did like Rey enough that I perked up when I saw it was Cailey Fleming… I can’t wait to watch this little girl get to grow her acting chops on the show).

So overall for the episode as a whole… It was a good episode. I’m heartbroken that Daryl has been off on his own in the woods in a crappy tent for the last five-six years but hey, least he gets a dog… That’s nice. I’m interested to see the new folks (especially Magna and Yumiko… Honestly, I’m excited for Connie and Kelly too because in the comics Connie isn’t deaf and Kelly in the comics was a male and Connie was his girlfriend… So they’re going way different here and I love it) and I’m VERY intrigued by the fact they’re focusing on Radio signals and reaching out to new people again.

Tonight’s episode is going to be fun, I think. I’m ready to see how everything is after the time jump and how they explain somethings and what’s changed.

[ghostyprince]

title: i’ll fight you in front of a starbucks

word counts: 1.388 fandom: BuzzF. Uns. relationship: Ryan B./Shane M. summary:  Ryan just wanted a nice coffee after being up all night, but he starts his morning with spilled coffee and meeting a tall stranger instead.

author’s note: inspiried by this post i just had to.

[Read on AO3]

or read more here

It has been a long, long night for Ryan Bergara. Full of visiting a supposedly haunted location, and then spending at least 4 hours editing the footage they got.

His friend, TJ dropped him off at home around one in the morning, and by the time he wrapped up the editing, it was 5:40 AM already. Was there even a point in going to sleep?

He thought he could just power through the day and pass out after he finished his part-time job.

YouTube alone did not pay the bills yet, sadly.

So Ryan just opted to go to Starbucks, have like six cups of coffee that day, and survive. Sounds like a plan, right? Not a very good one, he knew that, but a plan nonetheless.

What Ryan failed to take into calculation was that a tall (very tall, what the fuck) guy would slam into him, full force as Ryan opened the door of the establishment.

To be fair, he’s been quite distracted too, mortified by replying the barista with “you too” earlier when she told him to enjoy his coffee.

Not one his proudest moments for sure.

But now, this guy just had to fuck up his day even more.

Ryan couldn’t fucking believe this shit.

The one, and only thing keeping him semi-alive was splattered all over his favorite Back To The Future t-shirt, dripping down on his pants, and the concrete ground.

Why did he have to wear that one out of all of his clothes?  If he ’s gonna be honest, he kind of hoped it would give him some luck for the day, because Ryan’s the kind of person who believes in that stuff.

He should’ve known something like this would happen.

The stranger, (who of course hasn’t gotten any coffee on his pale blue button up, that lucky bastard) stepped back, sputtering apologetically.

So, yeah, okay, that’s not how Shane planned to start his day. He had work in like two hours, so he thought: hey, why not grab a coffee and some breakfast too, maybe? It’s such a nice day in LA that he has to spend cramped up in an office. Might as well enjoy it while he can.

In hindsight, he really should’ve watched where the hell he was going. He didn’t think until it was too late, of course.

And now he’s staring at this short dude in a soaked white shirt, totally helplessly and holy fuck he’s cute.

His hair was a bit messy, and the black framed nerdy glasses he wore were adorably perched on his nose. And he looked absolutely pissed.

At Shane.

Shane liked his lips, trying very hard to not stare at the spots, where the shirt stuck to the guy’s seemingly toned chest and stomach and he mentally kicked himself, to finally say something. Apologize, you idiot!

“I’m so sorry, man. I-I didn’t see you.”

Alright, that was terrible.

Just as he predicted, the guy basically blew up on him.

“Dude, fuck you! This was my favorite shirt!”

“Hey, no need to be rude, I apologized! You could watch where you’re going too, you know,” Shane replied, getting a bit irritated too. Who the hell this guy thinks he is?! He hated nothing more than attractive douchebags.  

“Well, you should watch your damn sasquatch legs!”

“Excuse me? You’re the height of a freaking gremlin, maybe that’s why I couldn’t see you!” So much for planning on having a nice morning.

Ryan visibly stumbled over his words, frustrated. Shane kind of sympathized with him at that moment, poor dude looked like he hadn’t had a good sleep in 2 years.

That being said, it doesn’t mean he should go off on a stranger though.

“Says the guy, who looks like the little brother of fucking Bigfoot!”

What is up with all the cryptid stuff? And why on earth did Shane find it so endearing? Even in the middle of their fight he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the other man was, face flushed and eyes shining with anger. Sue him, but god, he was so fucking hot.

Shane could just imagine pushing him against the building’s wall and kissing him ‘til they’re both too out of breath to argue.

“Yeah, you got a problem with me? Kiss me on the lips, dude!”

Shane had no one else to blame, but himself for that sentence slipping out, honestly.

You see, his fantasy affected mind mixed up “kiss me” and “fight me” on the spur of the moment, and he couldn’t help it now.

It was out there.

At least two other people walking by heard it, too.

“Yeah, I,” Ryan said, ready fight the tall dude on the spot, but he realized what Shane had said, and paused, blinking at him in complete surprise before barking out a laugh. “What?! What did you just say?”

Shane watched him lean on the wall next to the door, gasping for air, one hand on his stomach and head thrown back.

He was very embarrassed, but seeing the smaller one lose his shit like this put a somewhat shy grin on his face.

“I- I guess I just invited you to make out with me. I dunno man, a lot of different emotions were involved.”

Ryan, still chuckling, looked up at him with the brightest grin Shane has ever seen.

He’s gonna have a fucking heart attack.

“Holy shit dude, I haven’t laughed this much in days. Thanks, I guess. Even though you spilled like all of my coffee.”

“You want me to get you another one? And I can pay for the shirt too. It was my fault, after all.”

“Don’t worry about it. I could use a coffee though. Do you want to, uh, you know, join me? If you’re not busy. We could start over, without shouting.” Ryan stuttered, ashamed that he gone off on the guy earlier.

Shane nodded, grinning like an idiot. Can you believe he got a (possible) date out of this mess?

“I have about an hour and a half to spare.”

“So, not to be rude right away, but why do you look so tired? College?” Shane asked.

They were already sitting inside, with fresh cups in front of them on the table.

“Nah, I graduated last year. I’m doing youtube with a side job, so I’m not getting as much sleep as I should,” he said, shrugging.

"That sounds cool, you have one of those gaming channels?”

“I’m investigating ghosts, actually. Me and my friend, we go to haunted locations, recording proof and I have this series that’s about unsolved murders and mysteries. You could say I’m a ghost hunter or something.” Ryan joked, sipping his drink, while Shane chocked on his simultaneously, coughing a bit. Is this guy serious?

“Ghost hun– What? You do know ghosts don’t exist, right? You’re just wasting your time, little buddy.”

“You don’t know that! No one knows for sure,” Ryan said, slightly offended.

“Yeah, okay.” Shane snorts, grinning at him and skeptically lifting an eyebrow.

“You got a problem with me? Kiss me on the lips, dude.” Ryan deepened his voice, mocking him, which caused Shane to bury his face in his hands, groaning. He was definitely not blushing.

“Shut up, or I might do just that! Asshole.”

“What if I’d like you to shut me up, uhh,” he trailed off, just realizing that in the midst of all the laughing and bickering they never once exchanged names so far.

The other man picked up on his struggle and smiled, introducing himself.

“Shane. Shane Madej.”

“Ryan. Bergara.” Ryan opened his mouth to say something else, but Shane’s big hands were on either side of his face in no second, pulling him into an impromptu kiss over the table.

It was nowhere near a make-out session but just enough to render Ryan’s sleep-deprived brain speechless.

Shane loved the way he looked like at that moment, all red cheeks and that beautiful dazed expression on his face that makes him want to kiss Ryan some more.

“Well, nice to meet you, Ryan. Aren’t you glad I accidentally, but very aggressively expressed how much I’m into you?”

Ryan let out a breathy wheeze, slapping the table and almost spilling his second coffee that day.

“I’m very aggressively into you too.”

[omgbananasnailus]

You’ll Never Be Alone!! Part 10 - Daryl Dixon x Reader Fanfic -

So here is the final part (Well i think it is) I think its at a good part to leave it, i may add parts to it in the future but that depends on you guys really. Its a lot longer than the others and contains a lot of SMUT so be warned. Which it is my first time writing in a fic so my apologies if its appalling lol.

hope you all like it :)

As always links to previous parts are below :)

Part One        Part Two        Part Three         Part Four        Part Five

Part Six         Part Seven         Part Eight         Part Nine  

It had been four long days since Daryl, Rick, T-Dog and Shane had left to bring back Glenn and Maggie, an with each day that passed the tension around the prison grew. I tried my hardest to keep my mind off them and how dangerous it was what they were doing. I helped Carol and Lori around the prison and did extra shifts standing watch up in the tower.

Although being on watch wasn't the best activity when trying to distract yourself, as id find myself just staring out across the field watching for any signs of Daryl's bike or the pick up.

The only thing that seemed to keep me from going too crazy was the memory of how Daryl had been before he'd left, an the possibility that he could actually feel the same way as I did. All I needed was for him to come back in one piece and I'd find out.

It was late, Carol had just taken over from me in the tower so that I could try and get some rest, which I desperately needed. Walking into my cell I found Beth laying in her bunk staring up at the underside of mine. Her eyes looked glassy like she was trying her hardest to hold in tears.

"They'll bring them back" I said kneeling down beside her.

"What if-"

"You can't think like that" I said cutting her off mid sentence "Glenn will keep Maggie safe" I gave her hair a quick stroke before standing back up.

"Thank you" Beth whispered, her voice indicting the tears had finally won.

I climbed up onto my bunk and laid down stretching to get comfortable.

"We could sing something if you want" I asked. I wasn't really in the mood to do anything but sleep but I couldn't let her be alone and I knew singing calmed her.

"No it's okay....Thank you though" the springs on her mattress creaked signalling that she's got out of bed "I'm gonna go and find my dad" she smiled before exiting our cell.

I let out a sigh, mentally commanding Daryl and the others to get back here soon before closing my eyes.

The next morning I did the very same thing I'd done the last four mornings. No sooner were my eyes open I was out into the main room searching for any sign that they'd got back while I'd been sleeping, an just like every other morning there was nothing. Pushing away the disappointment, I quickly freshened myself up before heading outside to Dale who was stood at the edge of the tower watching out along the road.

"They should be back now Y/N" he said as I reached the top joined him in searching the distance.

"They'll be back soon" I tried to sound convincing. "Why don't you go get some rest.....I'll keep watch"

Dale nodded, giving my shoulder a light squeeze in thanks before heading down.

I watched as Dale made his way up back towards the prison, glad that I didn't have to keep up my upbeat attitude. I was really starting to worry now and I honestly didn't know how long I would be able to hide it from everyone else.

Turning back I looked out towards the road, my eyes caught sight of something in the distance.

Were they playing tricks on me, or was there really something coming along the road.

"DALE!!" I shouted getting his attention just before he entered the prison. "THEY'RE COMING"

I watched as the cars pulled through the gate. My eyes automatically searching for Daryl's bike but it wasn't there. My worry increasing as Dale closed the gate behind them.

Where was he?

I climbed down from the tower and quickly  made my way over to the parked cars just as Rick was slamming the boot of one closed, his arms full of bags.

"Where's Daryl?" I asked searching Rick's face for any sort of clue.

He stopped when he saw me, lowering his bags til they were on the floor at his feet.

"Where's Daryl....Rick?" I was beginning to panic "He's not......." I couldn't finish the sentence. This couldn't be happening! Not again!

Rick shook his head furiously "No, no, no.....He's not dead Y/N"

My hand flew up to my chest in relief as I let out a breath i didn't even know id been holding. He wasn't dead!!

"Then where is he?"

"We found Merle" Rick stated watching me.

"Oh my god!! Really!?! That's brilliant" I laughed nervously. This was amazing news....Daryl had found his brother. But there was something in the way Rick was looking at me that told me that it wasn't such a great thing as I seemed to think it was.

"You have to understand Y/N that Merle's done some pretty horrible stuff" he said pointing to his right. I followed his finger to where Glenn stood propped up against the pick up as Dale and Maggie checked him over. His face was battered and bruised with dried blood trailing from his nose and mouth. My hand shot up to my mouth in horror,  from how bad his face looked I could only imagine what the rest of him looked like.

"Oh God!! Glenn are you okay??" I asked starting towards him but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned to find it was Rick.

"I couldn't let him come back to the group Y/N" Rick explained "I couldnt let him be near Sophia and Carl.........Or you or the rest of the group, I had to think of everyone's safety"

I nodded completely understanding why he couldnt allow Merle back, but stupidly I still couldn't seem to understand what this had to with Daryl........Then it clicked.

"He's......he's gone with Merle.......hasn't he?" I was afraid of the answer.

Rick nodded giving my shoulder a light squeeze.

And like that all the hope for Daryl feeling the same way vanished.

I nodded slowly trying to take in what Rick was telling me. Daryl had left............He wasn't coming back.........An what made it so much worse was that it had been his choice.

I turned away from Rick in shock an mindlessly started to make my way back up to the tower.

"Y/N....?"

I turned hearing my name to find Rick jogging up behind me. "It's okay.....You go inside, one of us with take watch"

I nodded lowering my head not wanting to see the look of pity across his face.

By the time I’d reached the prison door the fog had lifted somewhat and the hurt I felt had replaced with anger. Anger for him just going, an for him making promises he had no intention of keeping.

An then the guilt kicked in, when I realised I’d just left my beaten up friend back at the car and not even tired to help.

"Shit!" I cursed turning around and jogging back down the hill to Glenn who was now limping up towards the prison, his arms hung over Rick's and Maggie's shoulders for support.

"Can I help?" I asked as I reached them, giving Glenn an apologetic smile.

"Can you take over here" Rick asked slowly ducking out from under Glenn's arm before helping me take his place. "I need to sort some stuff out..........He needs to get to Hershel" he called disappearing behind us.

I didn't watch to see where Rick had gone, concentrating only on getting Glenn to Hershel as fast as possible.

"Are you okay?" Glenn mumbled, his voice muffled by the swelling to his jaw.

I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped my lips "Glenn.........With how you look at the moment, are you really asking how I am?"

"I know how much you care about Daryl though" he winced slightly.

"Your my first priority" I smiled back at him. Typical Glenn, always thinking of others before himself.

As soon as we entered the cell block everyone crowded round relieved to see Glenn and Maggie alive.

"Where's Rick?" Lori asked as soon as she saw us.

"Everyone's outside" I answered guiding Glenn around the table and through to the cells.

"DADDY!!" Maggie called.

Hershel came rushing from out of his cell, the smile of relief at seeing his daughter soon disappeared when his eyes took in Glenn's appearance.

"Bring him in here" he commanded moving out of the way so that we could lower him onto his bunk.

I left them to it and went back into the main room to find Rick and the others had come inside and were emptying the bags onto the table. I watched as Carol walked up to Rick and quietly asked him where Daryl was. Quickly before everyone found out and started to give me the same looks of pity Rick had outside I escaped back into my cell.

I must of fallen asleep because when I woke up the room was pitch black, the light from the windows no longer illuminating my cell. I jumped down from my bunk and headed out into the main room not really expecting to find anyone, so I was surprised to find everyone except Carl and Sophia still gathered around the table clearly in conversation.

My eyes found Glenn and I smiled, he looked loads better now that the dried blood had been cleaned away.

"Shane's dead" Rick suddenly announced grabbing my attention, looking around the room I could tell that this was new information for most.

"He's what???" Lori asked her voice rising in panic.

"He tried to kill Rick" T-Dog suddenly spoke up. "It was self defence"

"I don't believe that.......He...he was your friend" Lori's hand flew up to her mouth.

"I thought so too" Rick said running his hand through his hair.

Lori turned and stormed out of the room, Rick following closely behind.

I couldn't say that I felt much in regards to Shane's death, we'd not been friends. In fact we'd not really spoke since he'd shouted at me when I'd first come to be with the group. I wouldn't wish death on anyone, but if Rick said he'd had to kill him in self defence then I believed him.

"How you doing?" Glenn asked appearing beside me making me jump slightly.

"I'm okay" I gave him a small smile. "How are you feeling?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"If it helps any I don't think it was an easy decision for him to make" Glenn said ignoring my question.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything, too afraid that I would start to cry.

My eyes told him everything he needed to know an he gave me a small smile. "I'll be alright" he said answering my question before taking his seat again next to Maggie.

The next morning I slept in, I was surprised that I'd managed to sleep at all with the fact that I'd slept most of yesterday too, but somehow I had and I felt so much better for it..

I was pulling on my t shirt when I heard a commotion coming from the main room. Worried that something was happening I raced out, stopping dead when I saw him stood behind Rick. His blue eyes watching me as my heart pounded in my chest. He was back! But why?

"So this is the reason we had to come back brother" Merle scoffed looking me up and down. "Cant say I see the appeal myself"

Daryl spun towards him "Shut up or I'll shut yer up myself" He spat.

"Why's he here anyway Daryl?" Rick asked anger clear in his voice.

"I needed to get back to warn yer"

"Warn us about what?" Rick's expression changed to confusion.

"Tell him" Daryl ordered causing everyone to look to Merle.

"That guy yer've just stole the girl and the Chinese kid from-"

"We haven't stole them from anyone" Rick interrupted angrily.

"Doesn't matter what yer think..........he doesn't take kindly to things being taken from him" Merle stated "He will retaliate"

A shiver ran down my spine, I had no idea what the place was like they'd rescued Glenn and Maggie from but if Daryl had raced back to warn us then It was definitely something to worry about.

I could feel Daryl's eyes on me as I listened to Rick and Merle talk about The Governor, well that's what I thought I'd heard Merle call him anyway.  It made me incredibly uncomfortable, part of me wanted to scream and punch him but then the other part wanted to throw my arms around him and beg him not to leave again. Both would cause me to look crazy so instead I turned away from him and headed out of the room.

I needed some space, so with my knife firmly lodged in my boot I headed into the tunnels. My plan was to head to the kitchen to see if there was anything else useful, which also gave me the alone time I badly craved while I tried to sort my head out.

I found the kitchen easily and was about to head inside when I heard footsteps behind me. Grabbing my knife from my boot I turned with it raised ready to strike, but there was no walker there, only the person I was trying to avoid.

"How come yer came down here?" He asked coming closer as I replaced my knife back into my boot.

"To get away from you" I scowled, the screaming and punching part of me definitely winning.

Daryl looked at me clearly surprised by my answer. "Why?"

"How can you even ask that?" I asked in disbelief "I spent four days waiting for you to come back....to then get told by Rick that you'd left with your brother"

Daryl still looked confused "I thought you of all people would understand why I did what I did"

Anger bubbled up inside me and I was incredibly grateful that I'd put my knife away.

"You think I don't understand why you did it, he's your brother of course I understand" I shouted "it's not just the fact that you left.....it's the way you did it Daryl" I could feel my eyes beginning to water causing me to get more annoyed.

"You told me I wouldn't be alone anymore........And then you fucked off" i wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape.

"I didn't want to" he whispered slowly walking towards me. "When I found him I was so relieved, then Rick told me he couldn't come back with us.........I've never felt the way I did then before"

"I would of come with you" I whispered.

Suddenly his arms were around me and his familiar scent filled my nostrils.

"I know you would have" he mumbled into my hair "But I couldn't let you, it's not safe out there.......I wouldn't of been able to protect you like the group can"

I pulled back looking up at him "When are you going again?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer..

"I'm not"

I looked up at him confused, but before I had chance to question him his lips found mine.

They crashed into mine catching me off guard, an it took a few seconds for me to fully grasp what was actually happening before I started to kiss him back. All the anger I'd felt moments before melted away as his lips moved against mine.

I pushed myself against him wanting to be as close as possible to him, an was surprised when I felt his hardness against me. Pulling away I looked up at him and smiled, no longer needing to guess whether he felt the same way as I did.

Our lips met again and it soon became more heated. Our hands roaming over each other at a frenzied pace wanting to touch as much of each other as possible. His hand quickly found my ass and gave it a hard squeeze as I felt him smirk against my lips.

He no longer tensed under my touch as he had done before, instead he seemed to enjoy it as I ran my hands up under his vest and guided it off his shoulders not breaking away from the kiss.

Every inch of me seemed to ache for him, every touch from him turning me on just that little bit more.

His fingers dug into my thigh as he lifted it up around his waist, pressing his cock into me causing a moan to escape.

I tried to open his shirt but my fingers were shaking so much that I couldn't grip the buttons, after multiple try's on the same button the impatient part of me won out, an with as much force as possible i pulled apart the material and was pleased with myself when the buttons suddenly scattered everywhere. I slowly ran my hands over his chest, trailing kisses as I made my way down to his stomach enjoying the feel of his muscles as they twitched under my finger tips.

I lingered on his belt for a moment, my insides tingled at just the thought of undressing him further. I wanted to see all of him.

His finger came up under my chin and he lifted my face so that he could continue the kiss while I blindly fumbled with his belt buckle. I smiled against his lips as I finally opened it, just as his hands grasped the bottom of my tshirt and pulled it up over my head.

His eyes hungrily took in my lace covered breasts. I reached behind myself and I unclasped my bra, pulling it off before dumping it on top of his vest on the floor. He wasted no time in bending down, his mouth taking in my nipple as he tugged it gently with his teeth causing the tingling between my legs to intensify.

My hands went back to his jeans, quickly opening them before pushing them down, using my foot to finish getting them to his ankles. My cheeks flushed slightly at the sight of his cock straining against his underwear. I wanted him inside me there and then but I held myself back. I didn't want to rush this, so instead I rubbed him through the fabric of his underwear causing him to moan pressing himself against my palm. Using his distraction I sank down to my knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down with me.

His cock sprung free and I quickly took it into my mouth, enjoying the feeling of him as I moved up and down his length. Holding the base of his cock firmly in one hand I pumped him, slowly at first.  My confidence growing as I watched him watching me, his eyes hooded with arousal. I increased my speed, flicking the tip with my tongue with each stroke. His hands fisted in my hair, holding me in place as he began to thrust into my mouth. His need for control fuelled the tingling between my legs.

"Y/N" he groaned his grip tightening.

I could feel his cock beginning to pulse signalling he was close to his release.

"Y/N......I'm gonna...." he groaned louder.

I grabbed hold of his hips and pumped him faster, twirling my tongue around his tip.

His breathing quickened, an then he exploded into my mouth with a shudder calling my name.

He soon had me back onto my feet as he fiddled with the button on my jeans. Feeling just as urgent as him I helped and pushed them off along with my panties and boots. He pressed himself against me once more causing us to stumble back against the stone wall.. The feel of his skin against mine was amazing, his hand grabbed my thigh and pulled my leg up once again around his waist.

His fingers found my entrance and he inserted one deep earning a gasp of pleasure from me as he slowly started to move them.

"Daryl...." I moaned, just the fact that it was him touching me was doing incredibly things to my arrousal and soon I could feel my orgasm building up "What if someone comes looking for us?" I panted, not that I really cared. I buried my face into his neck as the pleasure continued to grow inside me. He pumped his fingers faster as his thumb found my centre and began to rub. I knew I was close but I wasn't satisfied with just having his fingers, I wanted all of him. I needed him.

An then out of nowhere.

"Daryl?.......Kelly?" It was Dale and he sounded close.

Daryl's head snapped up towards Dales voice, his fingers not leaving inside of me.

I began to panic not wanting to be caught in our various stages of undress. I looked around searching for anywhere we could hide, relieved when I saw the big double doors of the kitchen across from us.

"Daryl" I whispered

He turned to look at me with lust filled eyes and I almost forgot about Dales impending arrival.

"The door" I signalled with my chin, Daryl removed his fingers and spun quickly, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the door shutting it quietly behind us.

Knowing Dale he probably wouldn't venture this far down on his own but we didn't want to risk it.

We stood in silence for a few moments listening for his voice, time seemed to drag as we waiting to be able to continue.

Shit! I cursed to myself realising that we'd left out clothes scattered across the floor outside the door.

It was soon pushed from my mind when Daryls lips suddenly found mine once again. Grabbing hold of my waist he lifted me up onto one of the benches causing me to giggle at the coldness against my rear.

I kissed up his neck taking in his familiar scent of leather and dirt that seemed to cling to him. I ran my hands over his chest, pausing slightly as I heard the sound of foil tearing, vaguely wondering where he'd got the condom from but soon the thought disappeared as I hungrily watched him slide it along his length.

He looked up at me questioningly causing me to giggle lightly as I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him against me. I needed him inside me and the anticipation was killing me.

He slammed into me causing me to gasp with pleasure at the fullness. He began moving slowly at first, each thrust pushing me closer to my release.

Thank God we were the in the tunnels because I was finding it incredibly hard to keep quiet as his thrusting quickened.

His hands grasped my ass holding me in place so that he could go deeper. The added pressure pushing me over the edge and I came loudly, my insides pulsing against him. He buried his face into my neck as he shuddered finding his own release once again.

For the moment we just held each other, not wanting to let go and end the moment.

When we did pull apart Daryl looked at me with a smile.

"Wasn't expecting that when I came looking for yer" he smirked.

I couldn't help but laugh "Yeah okay.......So I guess you just found the condom on the floor then"

His cheeks flushed slightly as he laughed with me, pulling me back into a hug.

Tomorrow wasn't certain. With the governor now out for revenge our lives were set to become even more complicated and dangerous, but in Daryl's arms none of that mattered.

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and a tag for the lovely @jodiereedus22 :)